\^.~:*t%' 
 
 
 
2)^ 5 Pi 
 
 Jtljara, SS'tnt {orb 
 
 BOUGHT WITH THE INCOME OF THE 
 
 SAGE ENDOWMENT FUND 
 
 THE GIFT OF 
 
 HENRY W. SAGE 
 
 1891 
 
Cornell University Library 
 PS 1514.D85P8 
 
 The Possuin Creek poultry club / 
 
 3 1924 021 997 394 
 
The original of tliis book is in 
 tlie Cornell University Library. 
 
 There are no known copyright restrictions in 
 the United States on the use of the text. 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924021997394 
 

 THE 
 
 tam Um Podltdy Clob. 
 
 (ILLUSTRATED) 
 
 y,(^n 
 
 .fe.' 4^*' ^^^ » 
 
 UNCLE RASTUS. ' 
 
 BV J. H. DAVIS. 
 
 PUBLISHED BY 
 
 Ube jf anciers* IReview 
 
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 The 
 
 
 
 
 Review 
 
 CHATHAM, COL. CO., N. Y. 
 
 A LARGE 16-PAGE MONTHLY, ONLY 50 CENTS A YEAR. 
 
 VALUABLE DEPARTMENT PAGES: 
 
 (Siuestions an& Hnswers. 
 
 IF^ennel IRotes. 
 
 Besides much other matter 
 Editorial and Contributed. 
 
 ClippinQg ant) Comments. 
 «M» ipigeon TRotes. = 
 
 TRotes by tbe ]E5itor. ^ 
 
 k-'*^ 
 
THE 
 
 POSSUM CREEK POULTRY CLUB. 
 
 By J. H. DAVIS. 
 
 'Author: "A B C of Poultry Gulture" and Editor ' The Fanciers' 
 
 Review." 
 
 ILLUSTRATED, 
 
 PUBLISHED BY 
 
 THE Fanciers' review, 
 
 CHATHAM, N. Y. 
 1895. 
 
A^coi cs" 
 
 Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1895^ 
 
 By J. W. DARROW. 
 in 'the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 Chapter I. Uncle Eastus on " Chicken Hobbies." 
 II. Eddification in the Chicken Business. 
 
 III. Debate on "Mashes and Egg Peoducehs." 
 
 IV. EULES AND EEGULATIONS FOE THE ClUB. 
 
 V. Signs, Geips, Passwords and Benefits. 
 VI. A Lettee from Washington Causes Teouble. 
 VII. Members in "de Boose "— Oystee Shells. ' 
 VIIT. About Score Cards and Judging. 
 IX. The Club Holds a Show. 
 X. The Poetess of Possum Ceeek Appeaes. 
 XL , Judging Exhibits — a Eight — a Fire. 
 XII. Uncle Eastus' Oration on " Washington." 
 
 XIII. Lecture on " Ducks " by Kernel Shocklet; ' 
 
 XIV. The Chicken Business and Free Silver. 
 XV. Ostrich Farming considereA by the Club. 
 
I UNCLE RASTUS. 
 President of the Possum Creek Poultry Club. 
 
I^iHEFA^OE, 
 
 There is a quaintness and fascination about the pure Negro 
 dialect of the South, that seems to grow rather than diminish as 
 we recede further from the " good old befo' de wah " dajss, so dear to 
 the hearts of the ante-bellum negroes, who are always interestingly 
 reminiscent about affairs of that particular period. The interest- 
 ing negroes are the ones who were slaves in the " long ago," and 
 who still revere the memories of their old masters, and who look 
 back to the old days with regretful pleasure, seeming rather to 
 hunger after the past than to love the present. 
 
 To me, the southern negro dialect is quaint, musical, fascinat- 
 ing, I love to hear it. And some of my happiest hours have been 
 passed in the negro cabins listeiiing to stories told by the old 
 negroes who delight in being regarded as oracles of the past, and 
 who can tell of things that happened. before the present generation 
 was born. And some of the stories told by them are very Micaw- 
 "berish and Munchausenish. In fact, they smack of Alladin's Won- 
 derful Lamp and the Arabian Nights. 'For, be it known, the negro 
 is an adept at exaggeration, and he can tell the most wonderful 
 
and ridiculous stories in the most truthful way. He sees no harm 
 in it. It injures no one, and he enjoys it. 
 
 Some portions of these pages may seem exaggerated or too highly 
 colored; But, if any who read this narrative of "The Possum 
 Creek Poultry Club " have ever lived South among the negroes, at- 
 tended negro gatherings, listened to their talk in the fields and in 
 the cabins, it will be understood that, while the phraseology may 
 be at fault, the style is genuinely characteristic and true to life. 
 And style, in its idomatic expression, is wliat I have aimed at, 
 rather than literary excellence. The northern negro and the 
 southern negro are distinct and difEereUt types of the same race. 
 Their manners, habits, peculiarities, customs, sports, social life 
 and enjoyments, are all different. And only at the South can the 
 genuine negro dialect be found in its old time purity and fascina- 
 tion. To see the negro as he is, a residence in the South is neces- 
 sary. The lingo of the northern negro is no more to be pompared 
 to tha dialect of the southern negro, than is . the pretended negro 
 dialect of the minstrel end men (which is really a burlesque on dia- 
 lect). The plantation negro and the northern negro are, I repeat, 
 widely different types of the same race. 
 
 Hoping these pages will amnse, if they do not instruct, I close 
 these prefatory remarks and introduce you to Uncle Rastus, who 
 will take up the narrative. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
THE POSSUM CREEK CLUB. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 UNCLE RASTU'S ON CHICKEN HOBBIES. 
 
 Dar am many kindg o' hobbies in dis wo'ld, an' we all do some 
 ob de riden. Dear's de pusson wid de gap hobby. He declar', sah, 
 dat de lice mek de chicken gaps, an' he am gwine ter stick to dat 
 pint twell de sun stan' still. He kaint prove hit; no, sah, he kaint. 
 But hib doan mek enny difEurence; he's gwine ter argify dat de lice 
 crawl down de pullet's froat and^top dar. Den, dar's de man wid 
 de fish wo'm hobby. He's gwine ter 'lucidate de pint, an' 'zemplify de 
 'clhsion, dat de >vo'm8 gwine ter crawl down de chicken's froat, and 
 dat de only way to git 'em out is wid er fish hook. Ifow, dis ole 
 man's had a mighty sight to do wid figh wo'ms, an' I Jis declar' I'se 
 nebber had de gaps nor lione ob de fambly. Dey's had wo'ms; yes, 
 sah, dey's had wo'ms — de old w«man an' de childrens, but dey 
 haint had no gaps to speak of. Darfo' de fish wo'm hobby doan 
 'lucidate wnfE a ceiit. 
 
10 
 
 Den dar's de feller wider Cumparisum hobby. Dis yer feller de- 
 clar's, sah, dat de show ohicken 's a Camparisiim chicken, an' de 
 man dat ses she haint, don't know or Cumparisum chicken when 
 he meets hit in de road. An' he's gwine ter jedge hit datter way, 
 sah, e£ hit busts de sco'kyard wide open, dat he is! Desco' kyard 
 hobby jnan he'sputes dat, he do. He argiSes dat de show chicke^i 
 am er seo' kyard chicken. He 'low dat de show chicken hatter be 
 datter way/kaze she's made datter way. An' he's gwine ter stick 
 to. dat pint, sah, twell'de moon's made ob limbugger cheese. Den 
 'long cum de Desimal feller. He's got er nudder kine er sco' kyard. 
 He aint axin' no odds er ennybody, he haint. He's gwineter mek 
 you belieb dat his sco' kyard chicken am de boss. Hits er new 
 breed, an' hits gittin' dar, sah. Dat's de way he talks. " De Desi- 
 mal sco' kyard," sozee, "d,m de consensus ob de 'pinion' obde aggre- 
 gated chickens ob de United States, nohow." Dat's de way he ■ 
 talks, he do. I l^aint got no hobby, mysef, sah; but T kine er like 
 de Desimal sco' kyard chicken. An' de ole o'man's gwineter sub- 
 scribe fur a trio ob 'em! 
 
 And dar's de man wid de co'n hobby. He's gwinier argify dat 
 co'n is wuss dan pizen, an' dat hit '11 sho'ly'kill de hens. Dat 
 meks me laugh. De ole man an' his fambly hes er bin eatin' co'n 
 yeah in an yeah out sence de wah, an' co'n haint nebber met up 
 wid any circumfluctions, an' de Ijig head, er de roop, er de bumble 
 foot, er de.kollery haint bodderin' eny ob us. No sah, yo' kant mek 
 us belieb dat co'n's gwinter discomboberate us irmardly. i Yo''kaint 
 
11 
 
 tell dem ar hens out dar, fillen' up at de co'n crib, dat dey'sgwineter 
 hab de 'spepsy, an' de mumps, and de hoopen coflf, an' de cat-tar, 
 an' de slumbago, an' odder fings, ef dey doan quit eatin' co'n. De 
 trufe is, sah, dey is mo' chickens sufria' kase dey kaint get de co'n, 
 dan dey is suf'rin' kase dey got too much co'n. An' den, dar's de 
 co'n whisky. Um, -um-m! What'd all us po' old roomatick 
 nigga's do widiout de co'n whisky, sah? Bresa grashns! "We doan 
 guv de chickens whisky, an', dey doan smoke segyars, but co'n 
 >meks de whisky fur de people, an' feeds dem wid roastin' ears, 
 hominy, an' pone. De man wot hobbies "gin co'n, sah, is de bigges' 
 fool in Greorgy! 
 
 .De hobby dat am pevaricatin' mos' 'n gen'ally wid some folkses, 
 am de med'cin' hobby. De man dat has no eddification aint gwinter 
 hobby wid med'cin' fur his pullets 'kase he doan' kno' nuffiil 'bout 
 hit. But de man wid de eddification reads de poultry papers, an' 
 sees dat de pullets mus' hab dis yer powder and dat ar powder to 
 mek 'em lay, an' dat dey mus' hab dat fing an' dis fing ter keep 
 'em well, an' he buys hiti De fust fing he kno' -he got a drug sto' 
 in de house, an' he's gwinetei"'~gub dem chickens caster ile, an' 
 kinine, an' assnic, an' kelermel, an' sassypriller, an' nox vomiter, 
 an' de good la wd knows wot all. Yes, sah! He doan kno' eny 
 mo' 'bout med'cin dan a cab fish,' but he's gwineter dose de pullets 
 all de same, nohow, hit er miss. 
 
 An' dis 'minds me dat we has sta'ted a new s'ciety dat's gwineter 
 'mek a noise in de wo'Id. Hit am called de "Possum Creek De- 
 
12 
 
 batin' S'ciety," an' is 'solusively fnr de 'malgamation an' caryin' on 
 ob de chicken bisness. AH de great questions will be 'sciissed by 
 ■ dis s'ciety, an' 'corded by de sec'tary, so dat de doins ob dis s'ciety 
 kin be printed in a book an' sold at de low price bb 50 cents a 
 copy, fur de benefit bb amytoors an' you all who am 'sclusively in- 
 terested inde propergation ob de poultry dustry ob de kentry. 'We ' 
 hes de bes' hall in de city, an' de new gold sign ober de do' reads, 
 "Poultry Hall." Seben of de members am now at wo'k frescoin' 
 de hall wid whitewash breshes, mops and 'centrated lie. De seats 
 am quoshened in de bes' stile, an' de chandalier cos' six doUahsan' 
 fo'ty-two cents. At de nex' meetin' ob de s'ciety, de great pint 
 fur argyment am dis : 
 
 Besoluted : " Dat eddlfication am not^speshally nec'sa'y fur de propergation 
 an' progress er de chicken bizness er de poultry 'dustry in gineral, an' dat de 
 whitewasher kin sot a hen jes es good es de banlt pres'dent. " 
 
 Dev am much to larn inde chicken bizness, an' de pusson dat 
 keep up wid de doiuR ob dis Club, am gwineter be eddicated in 
 sottin' hens an' judgin' chickens, eben if he hab, no college larnin'. 
 'Sperience an' 'speriment am wufE [mo't'dan ef yo' all larn some- 
 flng yo' kaint come'np wid. Some ob de members ob de Possum 
 Creek Debatin' S'ciety am in favor of sta'ting er 'speriment station, 
 but dat mus' come atter d'rectly. We hatter go kine er slow at de 
 fust-'ftwell . we gits mo' cash in de|treasury. Biit we's gwineter 
 show de white folks dat. w'en hit come ter handlin' chickens, de 
 black man am in hit fo' all hit am wuff. 
 
]3 
 
 Es I has bin hono'ed wid de 'sition es Pres'deut of the s'ciety, de 
 noospape's will get all de 'ceedins of de s'ciety at de usual colum 
 rates. An', es dey'U be coperrighted, hit am bugglery to use dem 
 widout de 'sent ob de Pres'dent. 
 
CHAPTER II. , 
 
 DEBATE ON THE USE OF EDUCATION AS A HELP TQ 
 CHICKEN RAISERS. 
 
 The Possum Creek Debating, Society met at Poultry Hall accord- 
 ing to previous arrangement, and Uncle Rastus, President of the 
 Society, stated the object for which they were assembled. 
 
 "My fren's," said he, "de ques'un befo' us am one which de 
 mos' highest eddicated white men hes not arrove"ata conclusion, 
 about. It am dis: 
 
 r", 
 " Besoluted : Dat eddification am not nec'sa'y fur de propergation an' progress 
 er de chicken raisin' bizness. " 
 
 " De Pres'dent oh dis sci'ty has riz — yes, sah, he has riz — er — 
 dat is, to ciim to de pint, whar am we at ? \^har am we at in de 
 chicken raisin' bizness ? I'm gwineter argify to de members ob dis 
 sci'ty dat de price ob aigs am not — am not — dat is, dat de price 
 ob aigs do not depen' on d6 eddification ob de hen, nohow. Ain't 
 I right ? De tex' speaks ob propergation. Do de gentlemen au'^ 
 ladies in dis yer hall kno what dat mean ? Do dey ? (Silence sa 
 heavy a crdwbar could be heard falling.) Propergation means dat 
 de fool nigger who 'kain't pay his house rent, an' who am puttin' on 
 
15 
 
 airs wid a fo'ty dollah incubater he doan kno nuflBn' 'bout, an' neb- 
 ber will kno anfing 'bout, -aint gwineter prppergate, dat's ■w'at. 
 
 Now, lemme ax you dis: Doan de hen lay de aigs ? Cose, she 
 do. Do she hab any eddiflcatiou to do dat ? No/sah. She doan 
 kno a gography frum a rifmetick, er de tarifE. An' yet, sah, some 
 ob de 'spectable membe's of dis sci'ty am gwineter argify dat de 
 nigger mus' hab eddification fo' he kain raise pullets, an' set hens, 
 an' clean out de chicken houses an' sell de same at de sto'. My 
 fren's, dat argyment doan argify wuff a cent, hit doan. I see befo' 
 me men who whitewash fur a libin! Someob yo' dribes a dray, some 
 saws wood, odders make gyarden, an' so forf. Yo' haint got any 
 eddification to speak ob. Yo' doan need hit in yo' bizness. Yo' 
 all couldn't put on any mo' whitewash, 6t make any mo' gyarden, ' 
 er saw any mo' wood, er do any mo' drayin' ef yo' could talkfo'teen 
 languages. 
 
 "Now, dar wuz Brer Bascom Blossom. He could do jes es good 
 a job er whitewashin' es de nex' man. He owned a little house, 
 an aker ob groun' an' two hundred chickens. He wus on de high 
 road to be a millyonaii'. But he tuck hit inter his fool head dat 
 he mus' hab some eddification an' he done got hit. Yes, he done got 
 hit. But what wus de squinseconces ? Why de eddification made 
 him go in det fur a plug hat, a dimun pin, a fo'ty dollah suit ob 
 close, a brass watch an' a oppery glass. Den he imagined hissef a 
 politishan, got a mo'gage on his house, an' lost all his chickens, 
 kaze he got too biggotty to 'tend dem. An' now, whar am he ? 
 
16 
 
 Livin' in a rented house, an' back at de whitewashin' bizness. 
 Dat's whar Brer Blossom am. Wid dese few rema'ks I guv de 
 flo' to Brer Mose Jimson." 
 
 Brer Jimson said: " I doau exactly agree wid de hon'ble Presi- 
 dent, Uncle Rastus. Whar wood de chicken bizness be in dis aige 
 ob de wo'ld ef de sunshine ob eddifleation had not riz ? Yes, sah, 
 whar wood you all be but fur eddifleation ? Wood yo' be toas'n 
 yo' shins by de big fiahplace heah in Georgy, eatin' sweet taters, 
 possum, and yaller-legged chickens ? No, sah ! I sorter spec' dat 
 yo'd all be in Africa wariu' a inity few close as dey do down dar ! 
 Eddifleation diskivered de chicken, an' she . am layin aigs to pay 
 for de diskivery. Yo' kin sot it down, sah, dat widout eddifleation 
 de chicken bizness wood be one ob de lost a'ts." 
 
 Waydown Johnson wa^.opposed to education. " I kaint read nur 
 write, an' I doan 'epect dat I'm gwineter go to school now," said 
 he. " An' when hit comes ter raisin' pullets, dar haint no nigger 
 in (xeorgy dat kin gub me any pints. I doan go a cent on eddiflea- 
 tion, er de propergation er progess in dat resomlution. I kin 
 raise chickens widout knowin es much es de President ob de 
 United States, an' yo' kin put me down, sah, es agin de resomlu- 
 tion." 
 
 After various other members had spoken their pieces. Uncle 
 Rastus concluded as follows: 
 
 I flnk dat de resomlution am 'stained, an' dat we decide dat 
 eddifleation am not nec'sary in de chicken bizness. Eddifleation 
 
17 
 
 '11 do fur de white man, but hit am er dangersome fing fo' de col- 
 ored man. Eddification larns de whites to put big looks on der , 
 chicken house, but de nigger widout eny eddification kin brejs de 
 locks an' git de pullets. ^ Yo' doan hatter larn no dictionery er 
 rifmetick to frow co'n to de hens, an' de bigges' fool in Georgy kin 
 sofc de hen wen de time comes. Black people kin nebber be white 
 people, an' de fool nigger dat finks hissef es good es er white man, 
 an' tries to be as spia't, an' all dat, is gwinter feel like er possum 
 in er •'simmo'n tree, wid fo' dogs er barkin' at de bottom ob hit. De 
 white man hes his speer, an' de black hian hes his speer, an' de 
 man dat sticks to his pullets, an' his whifrewashin' an' his ole 
 'oman an' de babies, am de one dat '11 be 'spected an' hab a big per- 
 ' cession w'en he's done wid dis wo'ld; Brer Skipup will pass de 
 hat roun', an den we'll promulgate to our seberal habitations. De 
 subjec' fo' de nex' debait am dis : 
 
 Sesoluted: Dat de mo'nin mash am nec'say to git aigs, an' dat de hotter de 
 t 
 mash am, de higher de price ob aigs 's gwineter be. 
 
 I fink dat yo' all kin git some pints from dfe 'A B C ob. Poultry 
 Culcher,' dat may elusidate de argyment on mashes to yo' compre- 
 hensive apprehensions, so that you can suckemspeotiy arrove at de 
 conclusion dat mos' properly concludes. > 
 2 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 CHANGE IN THE NAME OF THE SOCIETY DEBATE ON 
 
 MASHES AND EGG PRODUCERS A LIVELY MEETING. 
 
 "De subjeo' befo us dis eveuin'" said the President, Uncle 
 
 Kastus, " am dis : , 
 
 Mesolwted: Dat de mo'nin' mash am nec'say fur aigs, an de hotter de 
 mashes am, de higher de price of aigs 's gwinter be." 
 
 " De Pres'dent doan see jes wharfo' de mash am gwinter inte'fere 
 wid de price ob aigs. Kaze, most 'n gen'ally de aigs depen's on de 
 muchness ob de mash. Dis mash bizness, my fren's, 'longp 'sclu- 
 sively to de white folks, an' de colored people bettah gub hit de 
 go-by. Ise bin raisin' ohickens^sence befo' de wah, an' I haint gub 
 dem no mashes dat I knows on. Dar's a co'ner in dat mash biz- 
 ness. Wenebber yo' heah a man ' preachin' all de time dat yo'' 
 chickens haint wufE a ceat widout dar reg'lar mo'nin mash, an' 
 dat de mash am no good onless hits got two or free poun' er con- 
 dition powders in hit, dat's de man wid de co'ner on mashes. He's 
 got sufiBn to sell. He am intrested in de mash jes' cordin to de 
 pfice ob de condition powders, an' de fool nigger dat buys a dollars 
 wuff to get twenty-five cents wufE ob aigs, haint nebber gwinefcer 
 be President ob a^ bank. De wo'ld am full er traps an' skeems to 
 
19 
 
 git yo' money, an' de nigger wat finks hissef de smartest am de one 
 dat's gwineter git caught on one o' dem ar hooks." 
 
 " Las' week I receibed a letter f rum !N"ew Yo'k, De man sed 
 dat I had bin recommembered to him es one ob de mos' leadin' and 
 'flaential colored men in Georgy, as well as de fo'most raiser bb 
 chickens in de Sonf. He sed dat he had been wo'kin fo'ty years on 
 a chicken hatcher, an' dat he had one ob de mos' wonderfulest 
 masheens ob dis er eny odder aige. Yo' put in five hund'ed aigs, 
 an' yo got five hund'ed big fat chickens, jes es sho' es de sun ria. 
 Eve'y aig hatched er de money 'funded. Yo' put in de aigs, an* 
 w'en dey done hatched, a 'trivanoe in de masheen took de chicks 
 an' put dem in annuder pa't whar dey wus fed. De chickens, 
 de man what writ de letter sed, don't need enny attention, es de 
 masheen cleans out de roos', feeds an' waters de birds, warms em 
 an' takes ca'e ob dem 'till dey am big er 'nuff to ca'e fur deyselves. 
 All yo' hatter do wus to wind up de masheen, tu'n on de gas, an' 
 hit do the res'. Es soon es de aigs hatch, yo' put in mo' an' dat's 
 all yo' hatter do. Yo' keep pnttin', in de aigs, an' de masheen done 
 keep hatchin' right 'long all de time, an' hit doan cos' five cents a 
 week, and yo' got no wo'k 'tall. De man sid dat he was on'y 
 gwineter sold a few ob dese masheens to de mostesfc biggest an' 
 mos' 'spectable chicken menj and dat ef I send him Qne hundred 
 dollars, he's gwineter send de masheen as soon as he git de money. 
 
 " Yo' Uncle Eastus hes bin' wantin'an' needin' suflBn, like dat, 
 but my 'sperience wid de green goods man in Xew Yo'k hes 
 
20 
 
 made me sorter jubus, an' I spec' dat I'm losin' er heap o'. good 
 flngs 'cause I'm uot gwineter git caught in eny mo' o' dem ar' 
 traps. De on'y way we kin git erlong is by wo'k, an' de man dat 
 finks he's gwineter git someflng fur nuthiu', an' widout wo'k, '11 
 git his foot in de fool killer's trap. Mashes haint neC'sary for aigs. 
 At de same time de mash 'pends altogedder on what's in hit." 
 
 Blueleg Wilson was in favor of mashes. In fact, he considered 
 himself a masher of no ordinary abilities. 
 
 " I haint study dis yer chicken mash bizness, kaze I haint raisin' 
 einy chickens," said he, "but, w,'en hit come to de female mash, I 
 
 kinder sorter knows whai- 1 am at, I do dat. I'se " 
 
 " Sot down, Brer Blueleg, sot down," said the President. " Yo' 
 am too prebious. I am awar' ob' de fac' dat yo' 'long to de Fo' 
 Hundred, an' boas' dat yo' father wus wunner de big gin'rals in de 
 wah, sah. Gb co'se yo' kaint help dat. But, lemme guv yo' some 
 'dvice, sah. Go home an' take off dat dimun pin, an' dem kid 
 glubs, an' dat standin' coUah, an' dem toofpick shoes, an' dat 
 sebenty-five dollah suit ob, close, an' get a pair ob oberhalls, a 
 whitewash bresh, an' look fo' a job. Den yo' will be ob some 
 'count an' 'onor de race, sah. De trouble wid dis country jes' at 
 dis time a:m de tariff, de sca'city ob silver and paper money, an' de 
 'big a'my ob mashei's like yo', who, 'cordin' ter scripter, toil not, 
 neider do dey spun. An' hit's jes' amazin' at de number dat has 
 crope inter de ranks ob colored s'ciety! Brer Blueleg, wot do yo' 
 doesfo' a liben ?" 
 
BLUELEG WILSON DISCUSSING THE MABH QUESTION. 
 
23 
 
 "I — I — I doan has to wo'k, sah. My mother keep a laundry' 
 she do." 
 
 "Urn, um. Jes so ! An' she also keep 'a big, lazy, triflin' nig- 
 ger,, who's playin' de dood, an' spendin' her ha'd airnins to put on 
 stile wid. De Seckretary am 'struched to fine Brer Blueleg Wilson 
 two thousan' dollars, an' 'spend his name from de roll ob dis s'ciety 
 twell de fin's jione paid. I 'longs to de Fo' Hundred. Brer Mose 
 Cumback 'longs to de Po' Hundred. Brer Ebernezer Shookley, an' 
 all de res' ob de colored men who wo'k fur a libin, 'longs to de 
 a'istockracy ob labor, sah, an' we's proud ob hit. We's all chickein 
 raisers, an' we perpose to run dis yer s'ciety on dat line, mashes er 
 no mashes." 
 
 Sparerib Jackson endorsed all the President said, and a great 
 deal more. He advocated a library for the use of the members, 
 suggested that an iron safe be bought to keep the funds in, and 
 made an able speech in favor of changing the name to "The Pos- 
 sum Creek Poultry Club." 
 
 The President coincided. The vote was put and carried with a 
 rush that upset several benches. 
 
 " De Possum Creek Poultry Club," said the President, am jes de 
 fing. A club kin hit ha'd whacks, an' dat's what we's heah fo'. 
 Brer Sparerib Jackson will please order de library on de installment 
 plan, an' Brer Mose Cumback will git de iron safe." 
 
 Persimmon Gteen suggested that the Club be uniformed, which 
 created much discussion. He also thought a coat of arms should 
 
23 
 
 be placed on tlie uniforms and on the front door of Poultry Hall. 
 He said if the President did not object, he would map out a coat 
 of arms, and have it at the next me,eting for approval. 
 
 " Wat Brer Green hes perposed," said the President, will be con- 
 sidered. He kin git up de schedule ob a coat ob a'ms, an' he kin 
 al3o figger on de unifo'ms, twixt now an' de,nex' meetin', togedder 
 'srid de cos' ob de same. Elder Trumpet hes also handed me a 
 Constitution, containin' pass wo'ds, grips, an' signs fo' de use ob 
 de Club, wich I heahby hand to de zecutive committy fo' dar pfar- 
 ful consideration an' advice. Dis Club am gwineter make a name 
 fur hitself , an' we want Poultry Hall fitted up in de mos' opprobi- 
 ous manner, so dat comin' generations kin speak ob hit wid de 
 same reberence dat dey does ob Liberty Hall, in ole Philadelfy." 
 
 " At a future meetin' we will consider de question ob 'xpress 
 cha'ges on chickens, an' Elder Trumpet will blow his ho'n on " De 
 Origin of de Tu'key." 
 
 "De janito' will please tu'n down de gas, an' we will meander 
 erlong to our brown stone fronts an' de buzzoms ob our famblys." 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 RULES AND REGULATIONS OF THE CLUB POSTED BY THE 
 
 PRESIDENT FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE MEMBERS AN 
 
 APPROPRIATION OF ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS MADE TO 
 BUY CANNON AND ARMS FOR THE CLUB. 
 
 When the members of the Club assembled at their regular Satur- 
 ' day night meeting, they found a large poster on the wall printed 
 in big type, containing rules for the government of the Oliib. 
 
 " Heretofo'," said the President, " We hes been plowin' widout- 
 er Bwingletree, so to speak. Durin' de^pas' week, at great labo' an' 
 .'gpense, I hes got up de rules yo' seie on de wall, an' had dem 
 printed fur the fuchur conduct ob de Club. We will now take' a 
 recess for half an^hour to read up on de rules." 
 
 Rules and Regulations of the Possum Ckeek Poultry 
 
 Club, 
 
 1. Members ar not allowed to put dar muddy boots on de seats. 
 
 2. Whittlia' de seats will be punished by a fine of $100.00 in 
 extreme cases. 
 
 3. Beer mus' be lef in de anty-room an' put in de 'frigerator. 
 
35 
 
 De member dat slips out fo' a nip widont winkin' at de President 
 am fined $4. and costs. j 
 
 4. Members am' not 'lowed to carry cheers, benches, tables,; 
 lookin' glasses, tin cups, and so f orf, home wid deni f o' private use. 
 
 5. No games ob uker, poker, seben-up, er free ca'd monty 'lowed 
 in dis hall wile de meetin' am in session. 
 
 6. De President haint gwineter stan' enny sass er back talk from 
 members inside er outside de hall. 
 
 7. Each member mus' furnish his photograf an' hisautograf to 
 hang up in de an ty- room. 
 
 8. No spitten on de flo'. Ebery member mus' brung his own 
 spit box er be fined $50.00. Dis rule will be 'foced to de lettah. 
 
 9. Eiiny member carryin' off de stove, er enny ob de pipe, er 
 elbows, er Jints, er de coal scuttle, er de shovel er pokah, 'tween 
 meetin's an' not returnin' de same in good order, will be find' 
 $175 an 'spended free months. Paste dis in yer hats ! 
 
 10. The President of dis Club will not be 'sponsible fo' enny 
 valuables lost in dis hall. All silvah an' gold watches, dimun pins, 
 checks, bon's, real estate deeds, greenbacks an odder money mus' 
 be left wid de inner gyard an' 'sposited in de safe ob de Club. 
 
 11. Members will be find $4.00 fo' coijiin' inter dehall.widout dar 
 butes blacked. , ' , 
 
 12. De member of dis Club dat advertises a 124^ pint bird es 
 ', BOo'ing 324 J- pints, will be axed to hand in his resignation, 'less he 
 
26 
 
 kin prove dat de printer made a mistake in de figgers, wich he kin 
 do mos' en gin'ally. 
 
 13. De 'nitiation fee ob dis Olub, $100, mus' be paid in 'vance, 
 an' all de degrees ob dis Club mus' be paid fo' when tooken. 
 
 14. Any member playin' sick to git de sick benefit of $75.00 er 
 week, mus' prove dat he am' sick to git de cash. 
 
 15. Jedges am 'spected to git $500 fo' each show dey jedge, half 
 ob wich mus' go inter de treasury ob dis club. 
 
 16. Any jedge 'cused ob jedgin' chickens by any odder stile dan 
 de one sanctioned by dis Olub am find $1,000 an' costs. 
 
 17. De President's Celery ob $?,000 er month mus' be paid reg'- 
 larly. Ef dey haint money in de safe to do dat, hit mus' be raised 
 by 'scription 'mong de members, who am 'spected to shell out to 
 make up de 'ficiency. 
 
 18. All fines assest by de President mus' be s'cured by mo'gage 
 on de chickens, de house, er wife ob de member so fined. 
 
 19-. Any 'spelled member ob dis Club dat sta'ts er opposition 
 Club, am to be kukluxed on de spot. 
 
 20. De seberal jedges dat belong to dis Club am notified dat ef 
 dey sco'rs dar own birds at er show so high dat dey takes all de ' 
 premiums an' specials, an' all de prizes, dat de same shall be tu'ned 
 ober to de Club es hits prope'ty, de jedge 'taining,de honors, wich 
 is sufiBcient fo' him. 
 
 31. De jedges exhibitin' dar own chickens at er show, mus' do 
 so in de name ob one ob de members ob de Olub. 
 
27 
 
 23. De President will decide all 'spates' 'tween members of de 
 Club. Ef any member so fa' forgits hissef es to privately 'suit de 
 President by handin' him er $100 bill to decide in his favo', de 
 President will be fo'ced to pocket de 'suit erlong wid de money. 
 But sich member will ^main in good standin' in de Club. 
 
 23. Bf any member of dis Club am caught in any odder man's 
 hen roos', dey mus' pay dar own fines. De President am not 
 gwineter be 'sponsible fo' any flng er dat kine, speshally, wen he 
 doan git none ob de chickens. 
 
 24. De doin's of dis Club am private, jes de same es de doin's ob 
 de Masons, er _Odd Fellers. Any member tellin' outside what's 
 gwine on inside heah, will be tooken to de dungeon in de cellar, 
 chained to de wall, an' fed on oyster shells fo' ninety-nine yea's, 
 ef he doan die. Dis rule will be strictly 'fo'ced. ^ 
 
 35. All de money ob de Club, up to ten thousand dollahs, mus' 
 be 'sposited in de bank an' credited to de private bankin' 'count er 
 de President. All ober ten, thousand dollahs, mus' main in de Club 
 safe fo' celeries an' odder 'spenses. Dis caution am tooken fo' fear 
 ob fiah an' bugglers. 
 
 26. De annual show ob dis Club will take place once a yeah, un- 
 less odderwise ordered by de President. Coons, possums, rabbits, 
 crows, white rats, dogs, cats, monkeys, parrots, lions, taggers, eler- 
 fants, jay birds, an' odder pet stock kin be 'zibited 'long er de 
 fowls, an' shell be jedged by ide seberal sco' kyards owned by 
 members ob de Club. Each jedge ob de annual shows ob dis Club 
 
28 
 
 kin use his own sco' kyai'd. 'gDe Club am boun ter gib sassige- 
 fraction to de 'zibiters, ef de President hatter send to New Yo'k 
 fo' a new ,supply. 
 
 After th^President had rapped the Club to order, he said: 
 
 " Each member ob de Club will be f u'nished wid a copy ob de 
 rules, printed on silk, for his special, private benefit, an' ib am 
 'spected dat he will larn de rules an' recommember dem. Es day 
 am no speshal bizness fo' de Club, 'ceptin' dat we met dis ebenin' to 
 read up our rules ah' 'splain dem, an' es I hatter hope de^ seckta'y 
 git up de premium list fur de Club Show, we will now 'journ twell 
 de nex' meetin'. De keeper ob de safe will see dat hit am locked 
 tight, es I beam dat dey am seberal bugglers in Atlanta dat hab 
 an' eye on dis Cliib." 
 
 Brer Bascom Blossom rose at once and suggested' that a thou- 
 sand dollars be appropriated by the Club to buy a small cannon, 
 fifty muskets and a Bull Dog revolver for each member, so as to 
 protect the hall in case of invasion by burglarls. None of the 
 members present had anything but razors in their pbckets, which 
 were no protection in case the burglars carried guns, which they 
 do. He hoped the appropriation would be made at once. 
 
 " De 'propriation am made," said the ,President, " I been 
 finkin' 'bout dat befo'. I'm gwindter buy de guns dis week. De 
 Club am 'journed." 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 SIGNS, PASS WORDS, GRIPS, SICK BENEFITS, ETC., ETC., 
 
 AGREED ON — LIVELY DISCUSSION ON EXPRESS RATES 
 
 A LETTER FROM THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY. 
 
 When the honorable President rapped Poultry Hall to order, the 
 silence ~was_ audible. Even Sparerib Jacksoa ceased munching 
 peanuts, while the ticking of Persimmon Gfreen's Waterbury watch 
 could be heard in the fartherest corner of the room. 
 
 Uncle Eastus leisurely peeled a banana; ate it, adjuste(i his 
 specs, and said: 
 
 "Sencede las' meetin' de zecutive committy hes hed a conflab 
 wid yo' hon'ble President, an' we hes agreed on de signs, de pass 
 wo'ds, de grips, an' de degrees. Dar will be nineteen degrees, an' 
 de price we hes sot fo' each degree am ninety-six dolla's an' seb- 
 enty-five cents. (Visible agitation all over the hall.) De sick 
 benefit will 'title a member to two hundred dollars a week, an' de 
 monthly dues will be nine dollars and eighty-two cents. Whet- 
 stone Jonson '11 be de outer gyard, Brer Mose Cumbaek de inner 
 gyard, Kernel Shockley will act as janitor. Persimmon Green '11 be 
 do'keeper. Elder Trumpet 'tend to de iron safe, an' Spa,rerib Jack- 
 
30 
 
 son be de keeper ob de library, while de President, my humble se'f, 
 am Grand Master ob Ceremonies." 
 
 fe "De Club am now organized in de best stile, an' am ready fo' 
 bizness. De 'zecutive committy hes, recommended dat de Club be 
 unifo'med, and I 'pint Claybank Jones an' Rhubarb Smith es a 
 committy to write to New Yo'k, Shecargo an' odder cities, to see 
 what-kine er a unifo'm kin be got up at a price not to excess a 
 hund'ed an' twenty-five dollars each. We dean want no shoddy; 
 bar dat in min', gemmen ob de committy ! Yo' am also "structed 
 to get a coat ob ai'ms plate fo' each member, 'cordin to de plan 
 'smitted by Brer Green. De low price ob silvah makes hit neo'say 
 dat dey be made ob silvah. We will now climb on to de 'xpress 
 kyars." 
 
 Ehubarb Smith had a grievance against the express companies. 
 He bought half a dozen fowls in Tennessee, and had to pay more 
 charges than the birds cost. He was in favor of starting an oppo- 
 sition express Hne. 
 
 '' Limestone Wheeler thought the idea a good one, and was ready 
 to subscribe a dollar and a half in a stock express company. 
 
 Huckleberry White thought the best thing to do was for the 
 Club to make arrangements to buy out the East Tennessee Rail- 
 road, own and control their own telegraph and express business, 
 and receive and ship all their fowls by their own line. Railroads 
 were away down low now, he said, and this was the time to buy 
 before the next President was elected, when everything would go 
 
/~^ 
 
 
 KLDEK TKTJMPET FAVORS BOYCOTTIKTG THE RAILROADS. 
 
32 
 
 np. He was cmpliatically in favor of the Club owning its, own 
 raiJroad line, and moved that a committee be appointed to pur- 
 chase a railroad before the next meeting. The outrageous rates 
 charged members of the Glub by the express lines on fowls and eggs 
 would be put up with no longer. Something must be done atonce. 
 
 Elder Trumpet agreed to all said, and was in favor of boycot- 
 ting theiexpress companies and the railroads. 
 
 The President sucked an orange in silence, and listened atten- 
 tively. Then he peered over his specs, and asked : 
 
 " Is yo' all done spoken ? " 
 
 "No one answering, he arose, looked calmly over the I'oom, and 
 said: 
 
 "Brer Huckelberry White has "bin to de College up in Knox- 
 ville, an', finks he know mo' dan yo' Uncle Eastus, he do. Dat's 
 all right. He am sma't. He knows a heap sight mo' now dan 
 he'll know twenty yea's from dis time. An' yo' all dat, am talkin' 
 ob byin' raleroads, an' ^spress lines, 'an' tellergraffs, doan' kno' 
 whar yo's at. No, sah, dey doan.' 
 
 I 'lows dat do 'spress bizness doan do de squar' fing to de colored 
 man. Dat dey doan. Wen hit come ter payin' free dolla's 'spress 
 pn a fo'ty cent chicken, I'm gwinter kick, an' yo' all kin heah de 
 clapboa'ds rattle. Yes, sah, we kin kick twill we knock de soles 
 ofEen ou' toothpick shoes, an' de 'spress fellers ony laff at us. 
 Kickin's no good. Ise done tried dat to my sassigefraction, an' dey 
 keeps on cha'gin' de same big rates right erlong. 
 
33 
 
 " iiTow, 'sposen dat we buyS de railroads an' run s our own 'spress 
 kyars. '^ I'll be de president ob de road, at a celery ob fo' hundred 
 dolla's a week. Kernel Shockley, he's de superintendent, at de same 
 price. Brer Sparerib Jackson, he's gwinter be de cashier an' git 
 two hundred a week, an' Brer Persimmon Green m&tiage de 'spress at 
 de same wages. Every member of the Club hatter hati a fat offis 
 at a big celery, and wha's de Club, den ? Ef yo' all fink mo* er de 
 railrode bizness dan yo' do ob de Club, we's gwineter 'juriLde 
 meetin' an' buy a railrode an' a 'spress line. 
 
 ' • Annudder flng dat sti-ikes me wid fo'ce, am dis. Yo' all call 
 de 'spress bizness a 'nopoly. I heah dat kine er talk ebery day. 
 ■ An' dar's es many fool white men as dey am fool niggers cussin' de 
 'nopolies. But, sposin' dat de Possum Creek Poultry Club was de 
 owner an' runner ob a railrode an' a 'spress line, wouldn't hit be a 
 bigger an' a wusser 'nopoly dan de one dey buys out ? "t 
 
 "Myfren's, human natur' am human natur'. I spect dat ef I 
 wus de Pres'dent ob er railrode, dat I'd stick on de tareoff an' 
 cha'ge de same rates dey does now, an' mebbe dat I'd raise de rates. 
 An' Brer G-reen, as manager ob de 'spres3 bizness, 'd cha'ge jest so 
 Ibng es he could hold his brefE. Dat's de way it wo'ks. W'eh we's 
 out, we's' cussin de ones dat am in ; but w'en we gits in, dey do de 
 cussin an' we do de stealin'. 
 
 I 'spec dat yo' all better not inyest yo' money in railrodes an' 
 'spress companies, but stick to disyer Club. Ef de 'spress, cha'ges 
 big prices fo' freight, we mus' cha'ge bigger prices fo' chickens an' 
 ' 3 
 
'34 
 
 aigs, an' we'll come out eben. No, we doan want no rail- 
 rodes. We doan want ter manage no 'spress lines. We 
 doan want to break up dis Club an' make po' railrode men 
 onten good chicken raisers. Ifot dis yeah. De good Lawd didn't 
 cut us out fur dat pu'pose. We know how ter whitewash, but I'm 
 afear'd dat de railrode bizness would be an elerphent on our ban's. 
 Sabe yo' money ! Let us do de whitewashin' and raise de fat 
 pullets an' aigs, an' let de white folks manage de railrodes an' de 
 'spress bizness ! " v 
 
 Claybank Jones, the secretary, Handed the President a letter, 
 which he opened and read, as follows: 
 
 Office of Secketaey of the TKEAStniT, ) 
 Washington, D. C, January 17, 1895. ) 
 To the Sonordble President of the Possum Creek Poultry Club : 
 
 Dear Sik. — Now that I have got the bond issue off my hands, I take this, 
 the earliest opportunity to write you with reference to poultry matters. I 
 have long been a lover of the gay and festive game cock, though I now only 
 occasionally take a turn at the pit which I was very fond of in my younger 
 days, in old Kentucky. But what I want to know most (and I was referred 
 to your honorable self), is with reference to the morning mash. Should 
 canned salmon and Holland herring be added to it, with a good supply of gum 
 tragacanth and fresh lager ; or would you advise against the use of these con- 
 diments, except in a regular way ? And how would baked beans, with a 
 liberal supply of sauer kraut and calves' foot jelly, act as an egg producer ? 
 Assuring you that I take great interest in your Club. 
 
 Yours very truly, J. G. Caelyle. 
 
 See. of the Treasury. 
 
 The President handed the letter back to the secretary and re- 
 marked : 
 
35 
 
 " Bre'r Jones, yo' will please study de dictionery elusely, an' git 
 a copy ob de Mo'nin' Mash paper to fine out w'at de gemman want. 
 Told him dat de bono' ob his communicashun am allK. 0. an' dat 
 de Pres'dent ob dis Club will sen' him a pua'nel letter in a few days." 
 
 " De Club will meet in speshal session next Chewsday night to 
 wo'k on de degrees, an' consider de stile ob unif o'm mos' 'propriate . 
 We will now sing de doxology an' trabbel down de stai's to our 
 seberal homes. On account er odder an' mo' pressin' bizness de 
 Origin ob de Tu'key hes bin laid aside dis ebenin'. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 . A SPECIAL MEETING A LETTER FROM THE SECRETARY 
 
 OF AGRICULTURE — APPROPRIATION- BY THE GOVERN- 
 MENT THE FIGHT THE DANCE ETC., ETC. 
 
 Poultry Hall was gay with bunting, Chinese lanterns and 
 mottoes. A dance was on, and the darkies were feeling good. 
 The President was attired in a whitS, low-cut vest (which revealed 
 a wealth of shirt front), a swallow-tailed blue coat with brass 
 buttons, black cloth pants, patent leather gaiters, and a standing 
 collar of immense depth. It was evident that even plain, philoso- 
 phical Uncle Kastus felt his oats, as well as. the dignity of his 
 position. All the members were dressed in store clothes of the 
 latest cut, and the flashing and glinting ol the numerous (glass) 
 diamond pins, reminded one of the pendants of a big chandelier. 
 
 The colored " ladies " were out, too, in all the gaudy toggery at 
 their command, and, as they shook their embroidered handker- 
 chiefs, the air of the room became pungent with the odon of musk 
 to such an extent that the windows had to he raised. 
 
 " Dis yer pa'ty," began the President, after order was restored, 
 " ma'ks a chapter in de hist'ry ob de Possum Creek Poultry Club, 
 
37 
 
 iis well as an ery in de hist'ry ob dese United States which comin' 
 ginerations am gwineter look on wid suckemspection an' so forth. 
 Dis Club hab made a name fo' hitself dat rings all ober de hemis- 
 feres ob de world." (Sensation and applause.) Wharebber de print 
 ob a chicken foot kin be foun' in de san', dey's gwineter know an' 
 honah de names ob de 'lustrious founde's, an — an — er, concepters 
 of dis Club ob wich yo' hon'ble President am de head. (Wild 
 cheers. ) 
 
 " A private lettah frum de Hona'ble Seck'tary ob Aggerculture 
 at Washington, hab been receibed by me, and reads dis er way: 
 
 Washington, D. C, January 30, 1895. 
 To de Hona'hle President oh de Possum Greek Poultry Ohib : 
 
 My deak Sir. — Seuce de 'stablishment ob yo' Club, chickens hab riz in 
 price an' squality, an' aigs am much mo' larger an' mo' numerous, an' bettah 
 dan dey wus prebiously heretofo'. (Heab dat, does yo' ?) An' de success ob 
 de poultry 'dustry am now insured. White Clubs hab, heretofo', helped de 
 chicken bizness to some 'stent, but de gran' — de gran' — (wot's dis'?) c-o-n- 
 s-e-n-s-u-s ob 'pinion am dat, nebber, in de hisfry ob de wo'ld hes ennyfing 
 happened to boom de 'dustry like de formation ob de Club ob wich yo' am de 
 hona'ble and learned President. (Loud che6rs, which shook some of the plas- 
 tering off the ceiling). I shell, darfo', hah a bill passed by Congress, 'propri- 
 atin' two million dollahs annually fo' de use ob de Possum Creek Poultry Club, 
 wich will gub yo' all money to run de Club in de stile hits noterity desarbes. 
 Sides, dis 'propriation will buy all de members a Christmas tu'key, a dimun 
 pin, patent leather toofpick shoes, an' a seventy-five dollar suit ob clothes, 
 wid a fo'ty dollah cape obercoat an' a bysickle, so dat dey kin ride to Poultry 
 Hall in de stile dat's becommin' to dem. (Tremendous enthusiasm. Lime- 
 stone Wheeler stood on his head and kicked his heels in the air. Huckleberry 
 White danced a jig; and soon all joined in singing:) 
 
38 
 
 Hurry up de hoe cake, 
 
 Possum's gittin' done; 
 Nigger ']1 be a nigger, 
 
 Ebery modder's son! 
 
 Sweet 'taters in de ashes, 
 
 Cookin' nice an' brown. 
 Get yo' partners fo' a 'tillion 
 
 An' join all han's 'roun'lj 
 
 Hoop la, hoop la! 
 
 Jolly niggers we, 
 Possum up de gum stump, 
 
 Cooney in de tree. 
 
 Wen we gets our sto' clothes 
 Wont we cut a dash? 
 ■ ^ Pres'dent Uncle Rastus, am 
 ■ , . Er rakin' in de cash! 
 
 '-' / . 
 In vain the President rapped with his gavel, pounded^with his 
 
 fist on the table and shouted, "Order ! Order!" And not until he 
 
 went out in the crowd and collared some of the "wildest, was order 
 
 restored. 
 
 "Ef dis wus a reg'lar meetin," he remarked, "I'd fine Brer 
 
 Wheeler fo' hundred I'dollahs, an' seberel ob de res' 'd get two 
 
 hundred apiece. But, es we has met heah to hab fun, I kaint do 
 
 dat. Let us hab [fun^ but let de fun be not so familious. Bf yo' 
 
 lissen now, yo'll heah de las' an' de bes part'of^the Seck'tay's lettah. 
 
 (Reads. ) 
 
39 
 
 "In de disterbution ob dis 'propriation by de Guv'ment to yo' Club, de ladies 
 inus' be remembered. Darfo' ebry married man mus' buy his wife nine silk 
 dresses, fo' pair shoes, six breaspins, two dimun rings-, a sealskin cloak,, a 
 dozen bottles ob musk, six dozen handkercheef s- an' a planner. Wishin' 
 yo' all prosperity. Tours truly, 
 
 MOKTON. 
 
 The effect of this on the females present was tremendous. They 
 laughed and talked, and shouted and waltzed around in great glee. 
 But, when Whetstone Johnson's wife remarked: 
 
 "Dis yer 'propriation am only fur &e married ladies. Yo' single 
 gals haint gwineter get nuffln, yo' isn't; so yo' better shet up," the 
 fight commenced. 
 
 Human nature is the same under a black as under a white skin. 
 And a curious phase of it is, that just as soon as some persons get 
 money they become aristocrats of the severest type, no difference 
 how illiterate, uncouth and unrefined they may he. And so high- 
 toned and exclusive do they become, that they refuse to associate 
 with the people they were brought up with, or to notice them in any 
 way. Of course, this "shoddy" aristocracy is never admitted into 
 the ranks of the "Pour Hundred," yet it forms a circle of its, own; 
 a sort of a shoddy brotherhood, which bars out brains and intellic 
 gence, unaccompanied by money — money made by "striking oil," 
 or money inherited — but never earned by labor. 
 
 Therefore, can we wonder — or, rather, we should not think it 
 strange — that when the great landslide of wealth was announced to 
 the ladies of the Possum Creek Poultry Club, that they should as- 
 sume aristocratic airs in advance, and turn up their noses in scorn 
 
40 
 
 at their more unfortunate sisters who had not been so lucky, or so 
 unlucky, as to have contracted matrimony. 
 
 In two minutes after Whetstone Johnson's wife gave the unmar- 
 ried ladies such a scornful slap, the wool pulling commenced and 
 pandemonium reigned. Of coarse, the men took a part in the row, 
 and, after the stove had been knocked down, several lights of glass 
 broken out, numerous plug hats mashed, dresses torn and collars 
 jerked ofE, the President succeeded in quelling the riot and settling 
 the members in their seats. 
 
 "De ino' I fink 'bout hit," commenced the President, "de mo' 
 am I 'minded ob de wo'ds ob Ginral Jackson, at de battle ob Bun- 
 kah Hill, dat ' money am de root ob all evil.' Dese yer wimmen am 
 jes like ole hens; dey is jellas es de debbil. I doan blame de men, 
 , kaze de ladies sta'ted de racket jes de same es dey sta'ted de apple 
 eatin' bizness in de gyarden ob Eden. An' I heahby instruct de 
 Seck'tay to enter a fine ob, two thousand dollahs gin de wife ob 
 Brer Whetstone Johnson, who sta'ted de muss, an er fine ob one 
 thousand dollahs gin ebery married lady heah who fit endurin' de 
 jamborfee, an' dis fine kin be c'lected by takin' hit out ob de sheer 
 ob de 'propriation each one was to receib." 
 
 "An' now, I wants ter gib yo' all some 'vice. Dey am some dat 
 say marriage am a failure, an' I haint gwineter 'spute hit. But hit 
 strikes me wid de fo'ce, ob a fence rail dat marriage to the membahs 
 ob dis Club means er big pension by de government. Hit do, sartin ! 
 How many membahs ob dis Club am dey dat hes not entered de 
 
41 
 
 silken tie ? De onmarried ones will please stan' up twell yo' is 
 counte3. Dat'll do. Jes sixty-five. Now, if yo' all want enny ob 
 dat 'propriation yo' mus' get married de fus' fing yo' do. How 
 many ob yo' am willin' to do dat ?" (All stood up and responded, 
 "Aye.") 
 
 " Dat's right. An' es I is a reg'lar ministah ob de gospil, I shell 
 "spect yo' all at my house wid a five dollah bill to git de knot tied 
 at de mos' earliest time yo' kin git dar. Hit doan make no diffe'nce 
 'bout gitten up a fine weddin trossow, er ennyfing ob dat kine. 
 Cum in yo' ebery day clothes ef yo' want to, but brung* de five, dol- 
 lahs, er de knot doan git knotted. I kin whitewash an' sell aigs 
 an' chickens on credit, but I draw de line on marryin' people on 
 credit, sho'. Please disremember dat. De musicians will now git d^r 
 places, de seats will be moved in de anty-room, an' we will trip 
 our light fantastic toes, es Shakespeare iremarked to Falstaff wen he 
 was er dancin' wid de Merry Gals of Win Sir." 
 
 Soon the dance was on in all its giddiness. Poultry Hall fairly 
 shook from foujidation to roof. And among the high kickers, there 
 were none more nimble and active than Uncle Eastus, the Presi- 
 dent,, despite his sixty odd years of age. 
 
 At 2 o'clock supper was announced, after which the dance was 
 resumed and continued until the broad light of day. 
 
, CHAPTER VII. 
 
 TWO OF THE MEMBERS IN TROUBLE -;— LECTURE BY THE 
 
 PRESIDENT ANIMATED DISCUSSION ON OYSTER 
 
 SHELLS AS A POULTRY FOOD, ETC., ETC. 
 
 After the roll had been called, the members drilled in the grips, 
 signs and pass words, the President adjusted his spectacles, gazed 
 over them at the members and remarked: 
 
 "Hit griebes me to say dat Brer Clam Chowder, and Brer Green 
 Watkins am in de 'boose, an' dat dey am gwine on de rock pile fur 
 de nex' six months fo' being foun' wid two dozen fat pullets be- 
 longin' to Judge Howsome in dar ccllah. I haint gwineter say how 
 -dey got dese pullets, kase I doan know. Bofe ob dem declar'd in 
 co't that de chickens mus' hab walked into de cellah dereselbes, as 
 de do' was open at de time de chickens was los'. De cook at Jedge 
 Howsome's declar', howebber, dat she see Brer Clam Chowder an' 
 Brer Watkins in de plain moonlight takin' de chickens, an' es dey 
 wus foun' in dar cellah, de co't 'spicioned dat dey stole de birds, 
 an' sent dem np. Dey am sarbed jes right. De nigger dats gwine- 
 ter go into a hen house wid de moon shinin' des es bright es day 
 oughter git caught up wid. Ef I wus gwine atter chickens, I'd go 
 in de da'k ob de moon. I hope dis will be a wa'nin' to de odder 
 
43 
 
 members of de Club, case de man dat gits caught am er mighty 
 mean man. Dat rule hoi's good all de time. De man dat steals 
 er big pile an' gits away wid de booty am er success, an' a shrewd 
 spec'later, no diff'ence what bizness he am in. Ef he spec'late in 
 wheat, er co'n, er po'k, an' squeeze er millyun er so outen de po' 
 folkses dat hab ter buy de stuff, he am er great finanseer. But ef 
 he lose, he am des misfortunate. , Ef er bank cashier or president 
 robs de 'spositors outen a millyun, an' settles up wid dem at twenty- 
 five er fifty cents on de dollah, he am er shrewd, 'spectable citizeij. 
 But, ef he skip ter Cauady, an' gits caught an' brought back, he 
 am a 'bezzler an' goes to jail awhile, wbar he hes a ca'peted room 
 
 • an' dines on oyster pie, tarrapin, an' shampane. But de nigger 
 dat picks up er pullet, am er thief an' goes to de rock pile. 
 
 "After all, policy am de bes' 'onesty, an' de nigger Wots gwineter 
 ape de white man in enny ob de fings mentioned is gwineter git his 
 foot in de trap jes like Brer Chowder and Brer Watkins. Ef de 
 President of dis Club wus walkin' along de road an' half er dozen 
 pullets 'd follow him home an' git inter his hen house, dey ife 
 gwineter say dat I stole dem chickens. But, ef I sells a coop ob 
 chickens, er a bar'l ob aigs to de commission man, an' he say dat 
 de bottom drap outen de ma'ket, an' de aigs only brung de price ob 
 de freight, an' dat de chickens wns in de same fix, I couldn't res' 
 
 ^dat man for stealin' kase he hab de lawyers on his side. 
 
 "•Dis am er mighty cu'ious wo'ld, mighty cu'ious, an' de members 
 
 ob dis Club mus' not try to imertate de white man ef dey wants ter 
 
44 
 
 prospah. No mattali what he 'do, dar's some sort er "souse fo' him. 
 But ef a nigger do de same'fing, he's Tgwineter go to de pen for' 
 ninety-nine yea's. Po' people haint got^many fren's in dis wo'ld, 
 an' specially po' niggers.. Money meks the hoss go, an' de mo' 
 money yo all got, de mo' chance yo' hab to buy 'spectability an' 
 honah, an' get yo name in de papers. Don't fo'get dat yo' am 
 brack,' an' yo' all should be proud ob dat fact. . Adam was a brack 
 man, an' all de old Profits wus brack men. Dese yer white folks 
 am niggers, bleached out, dat's wot dey is. But dey's got biggoty i 
 an' uppity an' doan want ter 'sbeiate wid dar brack relations. Dat's 
 de way ob hit. Dey is 'shamed ob dar fo'faders an dar fo'mudders.. 
 I is proud of my 'scent. I is proud dat I am brack, an' de nigger 
 dat am 'shamed kase he am er nigger had bettah pack his grip an' 
 climb er tree. Be proud er yo' race. Be jes es hones' es yo' kin. 
 Grab ebery doUah in sight. Wo'k to make dis' Club de mosteat 
 greatest in de Ian'. Lub yo' wives an' sweetha'ts, but war de 
 breeches yo'sef. Doan go atter pullets on moonlight nights, an yo 
 all will prospah like er green bay hoss. We will now now tackle 
 de bizness befo' de meetin'." / 
 
 The secretary then read a letter from Florida, as follows : 
 
 Honorable SecretakyI P, C. P. C. : 
 
 \ 
 
 Sir — Will you please ask the members of your Club to decide whether 
 oyster shells will fatten hens, cure cholera, croup or measles ? I have .tried 
 them, but with no good results. Please tell me, also, how much it will cost, 
 for a charter to start a branch of the Possum Creek Poultry Club here at Or- 
 
45 
 
 mond, Florida. Also, how much you. will pay me to deliver a lecture before 
 your Club on the subject of Chemistry. 
 
 Yours truly, 
 
 J. F. B. King. 
 
 Elder Trumpet rose to his feet and remarked that he had had 
 some experience with oyster shells as a food, and considered them 
 poison. 
 
 " Las' yeah," 'said he, " I got out ob feed, an' I bought er peck 
 er dem grpun' shells fo' my hens, an hit killed dem. Yes, sah, hit 
 do. I fed dem hens sh'fells all dey could eat fo' two weeks, an' dey 
 up an' died. Dey wus kep' in er small ya'd w'ere dey hatter eat de 
 shells, but dey died. I doan fink oyster shells jes de fing fo' 
 chickens." 
 
 Jacksnipe Miller was in favor of oyster shells, because they kept 
 the hens from being fat, and fat hens would not lay. If any one said 
 that oyster shells would put fat on hens they were mistaken. They 
 were intended not to put on fat, he said. Since he commenced 
 feeding oyster shells he was getting two eggs a day from each of 
 his hens. He was decidedly in favor of oyster shells. 
 
 Claybank Jones, the secretary of the club, had an idea that 
 oyster shells would put fat on chickens, and that fat hens would 
 lay. Since he commenced feeding oyster shells his hens had got 
 very fat, and had laid many eggs. He did not think, however, 
 that the time had come when oyster shells could be fed as an 
 exclusive diet, as the hens were not used to it that way. Some of 
 the new breeds, he said, might be raised exclusively on oyster 
 
46 
 
 shells, and so get used to that sort of feed, and in time we would 
 haye fowls which would live andget fat on oyster shells alone. 
 But at present, all the old breeds preferred corn, oats, wheat, etc. 
 to oyster shells, just as he preferred a corn pone, to a pone made of 
 oyster shells. He would rather have a pie made of apples than a 
 pie made of oyster shells ; and he thought the hens felt the same 
 way. 
 
 Wyandot Bigler had read in a poultry journal that oyster shells 
 would melt if mixed with molasses. If this was the case, he was in 
 favor of this sort of feed for fowls. He liked rice and molasses, 
 and he was sure that oyster shells and molasses* would be relished 
 by the hens. Oyster shells would be a cheap feed if they could be 
 used this way. Brer Bigler kept no fowls, however, and never 
 raised a chicken in his life, unless off the roost. 
 
 Sourdock Lamson said he had eaten a great many oysters, but 
 always threw the shells away. Henceforth he would " bile" them 
 up with molasserfor his chickens. He did not believe the shells 
 would cure roup or ch-olera. 
 
 Salaratus Gordon thought it more sensible to feed the oysters to 
 the hens and throw the shells away. He looked upon the oyster 
 shell fad as a big humbug. But, when the members talked about 
 feeding the oysters to their chickens, they would show some sense. 
 " De nigger dat finks oyster shells am good fo' hens," said he, 
 " am de bigges' fool in Georgy." 
 
 Immediately a dozen members were on their feet, shaking their 
 
47 
 
 fists at Brer Gordon, trying to get the flffor, and shouting, ""Who 
 yo' calhV fool? Who yo' callin' fool? " 
 
 The President quieted the angry crowd, and remarked : 
 
 " De argyment on de oyster shell bizness hes bin tookea down in 
 sho't han' by de Sec'tary, who will type rite de same, an' fowa'd 
 hit to Brer King in Florida. De secktary will also announce to 
 him dat on receipt of one ^und'ed dollahs de President ob dis club 
 will sen' him a cha'ter for a branch club at Ormond. 
 
 "'Bout de oyster shell bizness I'se gwineter keep mum, kase I'se 
 pendin' on de 'fiuence an' s'port ob. de oyster shell deale's to de new 
 poultry papah dat I'se projectin', in my min'. Dat dey am lots er 
 foolishness in dis yer chicken bizness am er fac'. But I haint 
 gwineter say so. Wen Brer Clem Also was befo' de jedge fo' 
 takin' some pullets, an' de jedge finetj him a hundred dollahs an' 
 sent him to de rock pile fo' six months, de Jedge ax him.ef he want 
 to say annyfing to the co't. Clem sez, sezzee, ' S'pposin' dat I 
 call yo' a mean ole fool, an' low down white raskel. What yo' 
 dowidme?' De jedge say, ' J'se gwineter double de fine.' Den 
 Clem sez,' sezzee, ' Well, jedge, I haint gwineter call yo'.dat, but J 
 fink datter way all de same.' " 
 
 " Dat's de way wid me. I haint gwineter say some fings, 'zactly, 
 but Ise gwineter fink dem pow'ful strong, deed I is." 
 
 "De pusson dat finks oyster shells am nec'sa'y fur de health an' 
 fatness ob his pullets, am gwineter feed dem, dat's sho'. If I kin 
 git de oysters, I'nr pufEectly williii' to gub de shells to de hens. 
 
48, 
 
 An' I ax de membiers ob dis Olub to 'speriment oh oyster shells wid 
 detnselbes. Bile some shells for yo' breakfas' aa' see how day go." 
 " De outer gyard will now come in, an' tu'n down de gas, an' we 
 will peramberlate to our seberal domycils to dream ober de oyster 
 shell connundrum." 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 SOMETHING ABOUT JUDGING — A NUMBER OF APPLICATIONS 
 FROM MEMBERS AND OTHERS WHO WANT CERTIFI- 
 CATES AS JUDGES, ETC. — A LIVELY MEETING. 
 
 "I hole in my han'," said the President, '"bout fo' dpzen ap- 
 pelcations frum 'stinguished members of dis Club, an' odder pus- 
 sons, axin dat dey be made jedges by de Possum Creek Club. Dis 
 heah one am from Glaybone Whitney, of Chattanooga, axin dat we 
 make him a jedge on de Dec'mil plan. He's bin er raisin' chickens 
 nigh unto a yeah, an' has de fing down fine, an', darfo', an' squali- 
 fied, he ses, ter jedge any kine er fowls, possums, coons, er pet 
 stock. An' Brer Oumback, an' Ehubard SmifE, an' Sparerib Jonson, , 
 dey all wants ter be jedges. Brer Cumback, he done got er soo' 
 kyard ob his own, an' he's gwineter jedge by dat. Brer SmifE's 
 gwineter use de Standard an' de Dec'mil kyard, an' Sparerib Jonson 
 he' gwineter use de Dec'mil Standard wid de Comparisom sco' 
 kyard. An' Persimmon Green he done made hissef a Standard, 
 an' a sco' kyard, in de Amerikan Poultry Associashun stile. An' 
 Huckelbery White wants ter use Brer Green's Standard wid Brer 
 Oumback's sco' kyard. An' Uncle Sam Cowlick writes frum 
 4 
 
50 
 
 Macon dat he want a stifycate to jedge by de Comparisom plan, an' 
 he's gwineter use Col. Bogg's sco' kyard. Ai^' heah's a letter frum 
 Ohio, signed, ' Blackstone Eeeder,' sayin' dat he gwineter pay de 
 priee fur a stifycate dat meka him a jedge on de Pelch plan, wid a 
 Comparisom sco' kyard." 
 
 "Disyer," observed the President, putting half of a. banana into 
 his mouth, — " dis yer kinder mixes yo' Uncle, up, hit do'. But 
 we's lookin atter de fees as well as de p'osperity ob de poultry 'dus- 
 try, an' we's gwineter gub dem all de stifycates dey wants. Biz- 
 ness es bizness. De mo' stifycates an' de mo' kyards dis club puts 
 out, de mo' 'fluence we is boun' to execute on de country at large, 
 Agreeable to de ci'cumstances ob de aims an' ends fo' wich we is- 
 domesticated in dis hall." 
 
 Fullback Jones got up here and remarked that they had better 
 settle on one kind of a score card. He thought there were too 
 many score cards, and too great a variety of standards and methods 
 of judging. He was decidedly in favor of but one method. He 
 had a score card which he thought ought to be adopted by the 
 Club. 
 
 This caused a big commotion in the hall, and a dozen members 
 were on their feet in an instant. 
 
 The President recognized Persimmon Green, however, and told 
 the rest to sit down. 
 
 " Brer Green hes de ^o,' an' he will purceed wid his talk," said 
 the President. ' 
 
■ 51 
 
 "Brer Jones," said Green, "am a little too prebious wid his 
 kyard? Hit aint wuff sliucks to sco' pet stock wid, hit aint. 
 Heah's my kyard (pulling a large piece of paper from his pocket). 
 
 I want de President to 'zamin' hit, an' ef hit doan fill de bill, den 
 I'm gwineter fix up annuder one." 
 
 " I fink," responded the President, "dat de gentlemen wot hes 
 de sco' kyards, an' de Standards, an' de Oomparisom kyards bettah 
 fotch dem heah so dey kin be 'zamined. Ise puffectly willin' dat 
 every member of dis Club shall hab a sco' kyard ef he wants one. 
 Dis am er free country sence de wah, an' es de chioken business am 
 on de boom wid dis Club, de mo' sco' kyards we gwineter need. 
 Persimmon Green will please show his kyard to de Club an' splain 
 hit so dat de dissimilarity wid de odder sco' kyards will be conse- 
 quent, an' yo' all will be fami lions wid de sco' kyards in use." 
 
 Brer Green then produced his score card, which is here given in 
 'full, with points, cuts, and description: 
 
 PEHSiMMOjiT Green's Centrifugal Duplex Score Card. 
 
 Points ' Points Cuts 
 
 1 Weight and build 25 6 
 
 3 Height and abape 10 2 
 
 3 Length and breadth 21 3 
 
 4 Color ol legs and toes 16 ^ 
 
 5 Color and length of bill 42 Ko 
 
 6 Length of wings and neck 18 Ko 
 
 7 Length of legs 23 2 
 
 8 Length of tail ...... 31 Eo 
 
 9 Color and shape of eyes ' 6 3 
 
 10 Color of feathers all oVer ^ 14 5 
 
 II Breadth and quality of breast 20 * 
 
 12 Slope of back and gait. 9 Ko 
 
52 
 
 Points Points, Cuts 
 
 13 Size of spurs H ^ 
 
 14 Number of leg band. 22 Ko 
 
 15 Quality of fur 8 Ko 
 
 16 Form and cushion 50 2 
 
 17 Fat or lean, , 60 6 
 
 18 Condition as breeders ^ . 55 3 
 
 Total points 441 35i 
 
 " Dis ysr sco' kyard," said Brer Green, " hes mo' pints dan any 
 odder sco' kyard in de bizuess, an' is, darfo', gwineter gib de birds 
 de bigges' sco'. Hit am erranged' fo' coons, possums, minks, blue 
 jays, dogs, pigins, wild cats, bar, er ennyfing dat kan git inter de 
 show room. Dar am no sco' kyard dat kin boas' ob fo' hundred 
 an' fo'ty-one pints, an' I fink dey haint gwinter be. Dis yer Club 
 should 'dopt my kyard es de — de — " 
 
 " OflBcial kyard yo' mean ?" suggested the President. 
 
 " Yessir, dat's hit, de office kyard, 'case hit amboun' ter git dar 
 on a big sco'. Den hit am simple. On de left side am de pints, an' 
 on de right side de cuts, as you all will see. Ef a pint am all right 
 jes mark hit K 0, wich mean korrect all over an' dats done wid. 
 De odder pints de jedge kin cut to suit hissef, 'pendin on de ani- 
 mal dat's bein' jedged. I hes gub much study to diS kyard an' de 
 sco' heah am based on my PlimufE Rock Roostah, wich sco's 405|- 
 pints; de bigges' sco', sah, ob enny chicken in de wo'ld. Dat's de 
 'vantage ob dis sco' kyard, sah; hit am gwineter gib higher sco's 
 dan enny odder kyard, an' de chicken men am ergwine to buy de 
 kyard dat gubs dem de mostest pints." 
 
PERSIMMON GKBEN EXPLAINING THE MERITS OF HIS " SCO' KYARD". 
 
54 
 
 " I haint a bit er dejection to de kyard, Brer Green," remarked 
 the President, "I spec' dat hits all K 0. Hit look datter way' 
 shuah. But de pint dat I wants to 'lucidate in dis regard am, dat 
 dis Club haint gwineter gub no man a patent to de "sclusion ob 
 odder kyards. 'Sposin' dat some ob de Atlanta niggers sta't a Club 
 ; an' get out a sco' kyard an' a Standard; 'sposing' dat dey do dat. 
 Is we gwineter say dat de Atlanta Club am a fraud, an' hits sco' 
 kyard an' Standard haint wnfE shucks ? Is we gwinter boycaught 
 dat sco' kyard an' dat Club an' dat Standard, jes 'cause we is puffed 
 up wid pride an' self-'portance, finkin' dat all de brains, an' all de 
 puffection, an' all de honesty, an' all de success ob de poultry 'dus- 
 try 'pends on de say-so ob de Possum Creek Poultry Club ? Is we 
 gwineter say dat dey haint .no sco' kyard but Brer Green's sco' 
 kyard, an' no Standard but de one dat he promulgates ? 
 
 " De secktary will take all de sco' kyards an' Standards an' enter 
 dein on de books ob dis Club es official. We kin use dem all, an' 
 we kin giv' judges enny kind ev a stiffycate dey wants, from Com- 
 parisom clar up to de Dec'mil sort. De secktary will also write to 
 Blackstone Eeeder, ob Ohio, an Uncle Sam Cowlick ob Macon, 
 Georgy, an' Claybone Whitney, ob Chattanooga, an' till dem dat on 
 receipt ob fifty dollars, in stamps er money orders^ dey kin hav' de 
 stiffycates dey wants, an' dat we warrant dem to mo' dan git dar 
 money back at de fust show dey jedge." 
 
 " De secktary am also instructed to hire a hall, for de comin' 
 
55 
 
 show ob de Club, an' ter spen' five hundred dollahs in adTertisin» 
 de show." 
 
 " De grips an' pass wo'ds will now be giben to de new members, 
 an' we will den retire to our sevral and individooal manshums." 
 
CHAPTER IX,. 
 
 THE PRESIDENT ANNOUNCES THE LIST OF OFFICERS AND 
 SUBMITS THE RULES, REGULATIONS AND PREMIUM LIST 
 TO THE MEMBERS OF THE CLUB. 
 
 On assembling in regular session, the President, Uncle Rasfcus, 
 read the following regulations: 
 
 1. !Dar shall be 1 president; -6 vice presidents, 7 'sistant vice 
 presidents; 36 directors* 9 superintendents; 3 marshalls; 2 
 do'keepers; 2 cashiers; 3 chicken feeders; 4 cooks;: 8 coop cleaners; 
 6ifiecktarys; 2 brass ban's; 1 lecturer; 4 advertising agents; 5 bill 
 posters; 2 press agents; 1 telegrapher; 5 roi^stabouts, 2 mates an' 
 24 j edges, fo' dis show, 
 
 2. All de members an' orders -attendin' de show mus' be in de 
 full unifo'm ob de Club. 
 
 3. De President ob de Club will settle all'sputes an' 'cide wedder 
 a bird sco's 144 pints er mo', er less, co'din to the bird. 
 
 4. Bf de jedge haint got de money in his pocket to pay de pre- 
 miums on de chickens an' odder pet stock he sco'es, he mug' gib his 
 note for 90 days, wid 'scnrity. 
 
 5. Enny 'zibitor dat wants ter whoop de jedge 'caze he doan git 
 
67 
 
 a sco' of 360 pints on a 156 pint bird, er possum, er coon, er odder 
 stock, shell be sent at once to de President. Ef he kin whoop de 
 President, he kin git de pints 'lowed an' a special premium, 
 'sides. 
 
 6. All ieed bills fur de animals wile in de show room will be 
 cha'ged up to de owner ob de birds an' 'ducted frum his prize 
 money. , 
 
 7. De entry fee shall be $10.00 on single birds ; $25.00 on trios, 
 an' $35.75 on pens, 0. 0. D. An' de same, on coons, possums, 
 etc., etc. 
 
 8. De special prizes am as follows : 
 
 Po' de bigges' an' bes' chicken, a two hoss wagon, wid de bosses 
 an' ha'ness th rowed in. 
 
 Po' de bes' coon er possum raised by de 'zibiter, $50 in gold. 
 
 Po' de bes' coon dog, 4 boxes er Sampson's Self- Washing Laun- 
 dry Sope, 300 big cakes to de box. 
 
 Po' de bigges' and bes' duck impo'ted from Ohiny, one ob de 
 lates' fashion mowin' machines will be donated. 
 
 Po' de fattes' coop of geese, 6 yea'hs 'scription to de Fanciers' 
 Review. , 
 
 Po' de bes' inkybater, 56 cents ; de inkybator to becum de 
 prope'ty ob de President, atter de show. 
 
 Po' de bes' brooder, 3 settin's ob Plimuff Rock eggs, frum de 
 ya'ds ob de President ; de broodev to be sent to his house atter de 
 entry fee hes bin paid. 
 
58 
 
 Po' de bes' tu'key a 73 octavio planner will be given, perwided 
 dat $100.00 am fo'warded to pay de freight. 
 
 Fo' de bes' 'splay ob all kinds er game, a deed to a hund'ed 
 foot frobt lot in Atlanta will be made out; de winner ob de lot to 
 pay de ^snrance an' de back taxes, an' de mor'gage on hit. 
 
 Fo' de bes' fightin' cock of any breed, a note fo' 1400.00, due de 
 club by Sam Smiler, and drawin' interest at de rate ob 20 per cent 
 per annum. De winner ob de note must do his own cblleotin'. 
 
 All kinds er pigeons an' odder birds shell hab a fust prize ob 
 $7.42, an' a second prize ob $9.48. Di§ 'rangement am fur to 
 'stribute de cash, an' keep de bes' birds frum gittin' all the money. 
 
 Gang plows, close wringers, dough kneaders, mouse traps, egg 
 beaters, lawn mowers, apple peelers, tile machines, grindstones, pig 
 irQn, cider mills, subsoil plows, soap receipts, steam engines, gang 
 saws, or ennfing comin' under dis head, will get a premium of 3 set- 
 tin's ob Liingsham, Cochin, er any odder aigs raised by de members 
 ob dis Club ; perwiden' money am sent to pay de 'spress cha'ges on 
 de same, and 25 cents fo' packin'. 
 
 All kinds ob chickens, tu'keys, ducks, geese, guineas. Bantams, 
 canary birds, Scotch terriers, ferrets, guinea pigs, Hamburgs, 
 Brahmas, Tooloose geese, et settry, shell be sco'd co'ding to dar 
 size an' weight, an' de jedge ob de same shell hab de power to ma'k 
 de value ob de prize dey am 'titled to on de sco' kyards. By dis 
 means ebery 'zibitef dat gits a kyard can see 'zactly de 'mount he 
 
59 
 
 am gwineter git, atter deductin' de rent an' de feed bill, and de pay 
 ob de jeage. 
 
 Tickets ob admission to de lecter at night at Poultry Hall, by de 
 President, an' fo' his benefit, will be $1.00 each ; ladies 75 cents, 
 an' children 50 cents. De supper in de hall, alter de lecter will 
 cos' de eaters $1.00. er head. Children an' dogs half price. 
 
 A special premium ob $300 am offered by de Club to de sister 
 makin' de best gallon ob peach, grape, quince, or rasberry jelly. 
 All samples an' ja's containing de same mus' be sent to.de Presi- 
 dent's house atter de show fur his 'speiction. 
 
 All dogs jedged by de sco' kyard am 'bliged ter pay $5.00 whar 
 de pints sco' over 298^. All dogs dat sco' less than 150 pints hat- 
 ter pay $3.75 to get de kyard, es de kyard sells de dogs. 
 
 All pussons selliu' anSng dat dey brung to de show, in de show 
 room, mus' pay ober to de head Treasurer half ob de proceeds, 
 fo' de benefit ob de Club. Any pusson dat refuse to do dis am 
 gwineter be 'rested an' put in de dungeon below Poultry Hall twell 
 he 'sents to de rule. 
 
 De show shall last 6 er 8 weeks, er all summer, co'den' to de 
 wedder an' de will ob de President. 
 
 All aigs laid by de fowls, an' all chickens hatched endurin ob de 
 show, shall be de prope'ty ob de President to 'spose ob as he see 
 fitten. 
 
 Premium lists will be furnished to all applycants by de Seck'tary 
 on receipt ob 25 cents to pay fo' mailin'. 
 
60 
 
 De kyars coutainin' de bill posters, de press agents, de adver- 
 tisia' agents, de President an' his private seek'tary, an' de brass 
 ban's, will sta't from Poultry Hall at 6 A. M. sha'p^ makin' de 
 circuit ob de country, includin' Canady an' Texas in fo' months at 
 de mos', onless de President decide to take in Alaska an de San- 
 wich Hands. Six freight kyars will haul de 180 tons ob advertisin' 
 paper, an de 50 bar'ls ob paste to tack hit on wid. Dis show am 
 gwineter be adve'tised, shuah ! 
 
 P. S. All nlerry-go-roun's an' odder shows on de groun's am 
 'spected ter pay a license ob $350 fo' ebery day dat dey show, an' 
 peddlers de same. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 UNCLE RASTUS CONGRATULATES THE CLUB ON THE AUSPIC- 
 lOUS OPENING AND INTRODUCES THE POETESS OF 
 THE POSSUM CREEK POULTRY CLUB. 
 
 The day for the commencement of the .Possum Creek poultry 
 show, had arrived. A large cotton warehouse, directly on the 
 banks of the creek, Jiad been secured, and the noise of two brkss 
 bands woke the echoes in the mountains beyond. Flags were 
 fluttering from the roof of the building, and scores of wagons con- 
 taining coons, possums, cats, chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys, dogs, 
 muskrats, and other pet stock, were being unloaded and placed in 
 position inside the building. Merry-go-rounds, swings, games of 
 chance, lunch stands, side shows, etc., etc., were scattered about 
 in profusion, and the happy-go-rtieky darkies were in their happiest 
 mood and their Sunday clothes. 
 
 And the fashions! Plug hatSj swallow-tailed coats, immense 
 standing collars, checkered pants, lustrous breastpins, and shoes a 
 la plantation ! 
 
 And the sisters were not to be outdone by the males present. 
 Silk dresses switched against plantation linsey woolsey, arid gay' 
 headgear contrasted strangely with the plain white, or red bandana 
 
62 
 
 handkerchiefs tied on the heads of some of the fair sex. Uncle 
 Eastns was here, there, everywhere, directing afPairs, whil^ the 
 vice-presidents, directors, judges, and the various other managers 
 of the show were pompous, polite, busy, and evidently trying to 
 show o£E to the best advantage along with the fowls and other 
 stock. All wore large badges of silk with gold letters on them, 
 showing the positions they held, whether judge, superintendent, 
 director, etc., etc. At several places in the building notices were 
 posted which read as follows : 
 
 NoTis! 
 All gemmen and ladies dat wants dar animals sco'd by de Comparisom sco' 
 kyaids, er de Dec'mil sco' kyards, er de Possum Creek sco' kyards, er de 
 Standard sco' kyards, er enny odder kine er sco' kyards, am 'quested ter go to 
 de President's desk an' pick hit out. All de sco' kyards will be dar fo' 'zami- 
 natioD, so dat pussons kin bab cboice er de kine day wants. Ebery pussou 
 mus' git a sco' kyard fo' de jedge commence. De kyards will cos' $1.25. 
 Pussons gettin' a sco' kyard will put dar name on bit, an' bang bit on de coop, 
 so dat de jedge doan batter bunt up de owner to fine out wot kine er sco' 
 kyard he gwineter bad bis stock sco'd by. We wants all to be satisfied, kase 
 we's gwineter do de squar fing. 
 
 By obder ob de Peesidbnt. 
 
 At half-past two the President mounted a big box containing a 
 lot of possums, called the crowd to order, and said : 
 
 "Dis am er proud day fo' de Possum Creek Poultry Club. Dis 
 am de bes' adve'tised show in de wo'ld, an' de 'tennence am big fo' 
 de>fust day. Endurin ob my tower in de advertisin' kyai', w'en we 
 Tifas billin' Washington, I seed de Pres'dent ob dese United States 
 an' de cab'net, an dey all 'nanimusly sed dat deys gwineter be heah 
 
63 
 
 to 'tend dis show ef dey nebbergot ter see aanuJer one, kase I gub 
 dem all free tickets. De Seck'tary ob de Treasury say dat he doan see 
 how he kin come, kase he hatter print er lot ob dem bon's fo' de ^ 
 Wall street fellers, so dat he scacely got time ter eat his supper. 
 He say dat he gwineter print de boa's fo' de New Yo'k pussbns so 
 dat dey kin take de bon's au gub dem back to de Seck'tary fo' gold. 
 'Oo'se, I doan know nuffin 'bout dat. But dat was w'at de Seck'- 
 tary said. Dat wais his 'scuse fo' not 'tendin dis show. Hit 'pears 
 to yo' Uncle Kastus dat dey mought er got some ob dem job 
 printers to do de wo'k on de bon's an let de Seck'tary off on dis 
 trip. I say dat dey mout a done dat. 
 
 '' Ise glad Ise de President ob dis yer Club. I'd radder be de 
 President ob de Possum Creek Poultry Club dan de Seck'tary ob 
 de Treasury er de Queen ob de Sanwich Hans. (Loud and pro- 
 longed applause, which caused the animals' to growl and the fowls 
 to cackle furiously.) 
 
 I hope de show am gwine off all K. O., an' dat de-jedges will git 
 in all de pints on de sco' kyards dey kin, 'cordin to de pints on de 
 animal dat's gwineter to be sco'd. We want to make dis de 
 highes' soo'in show in de wo'ld. We gwineter show datde Possum 
 Creek Club birds an' fings am got mo' pints an' better pints, an' 
 bigger pints dan enny odder birds in America. (Vociferous 
 applause.) An' dat our jedges am de sma'tes' ob enny in de wo'ld. 
 (Yells from all parts of the house of "Dat's so." " Right yo' is." 
 '•' De ole man know what he's talkin' 'bout," etc. ) An' we's 
 
64 
 
 gwineter show dat we am no "speoto' ob pussons, and dat we nse 
 all de sco' kyards an all de Standards on the ma'ket wid circum- 
 spection an' malls towa'd nobody. (A voice, "Dat's hit, sah, dat's 
 hit!") 
 
 "De eyes ob de wo'ld, an' mebbe Chiny an' Texas, am er gazin' 
 at dis Clnb'fo' all dey knows. Dey am er lookin's to see de. 'suits 
 ob de Possum Creek Poultry Club show fo' dey makes up dar min's' 
 oh de stile ob sco' kyard dey am gwineter use. Bf our stile ob 
 sco'in am er success den we all will be fo'ced to buy er fo'ty hoss 
 printin' press an er type found'y to keep up wid de calls an orde's 
 we gwineter had fo' sco' kyards. Dey'll go off like hot buckwheat 
 cakes wid possum graby on 'em. (Smacking of lips and "yum 
 yum" all over the house.) Ise done flgger on dis flng long sense. 
 I seed so much jellersy an' envy, an' qnawlin', an' meanness 'mong 
 de white folks on ercount er de sco' kyard, dat I made up my 
 min' dat dis club mus' set er 'zample fo' de white fqlks. 
 
 "Darfo', consequently, we hes de charity to rise 'bove pussonal'- 
 ties, an use all de sco' kyards on de ma'ket, an' I kin whoop de 
 man dat ses "no" to dat. An' w'en I look on de faces ob dis 
 'telligent an' 'spectable 'semblage ob fanciers, an' odder fellers, I 
 feel dat yo' all am gwineter 'stain me in de pints 'lucidated at dis 
 time, an' shoulder yo' muskets, ef nec'sary, to 'stain de President 
 ob dis Club!" (Cries from all parts of the house, "We is, we is! 
 let de wah come; we's gwineter stan' by Uncle Rastus, sbuah!") 
 
 In 'elusion, I ' — " 
 
65 
 
 Here the top of the coop containing the possums broke in, and 
 the Pr^ident went down in the den of animals, several of which 
 grabbed him by the legs. Then confusion reigned, the women 
 .shrieked, the men yelled wildly, and those in the back part of the 
 house, thinking that somebody had knocked the President down, 
 .struggled to get through the mob to the front part of the house. 
 The noise was heard outside, where it was rumored that a fight 
 was going on inside, and the darkies came running from all direc- 
 tions, some with clubs, some with, razors drawn, and all thoroughly' 
 excited. By this time, howeyer, the President had scrambled out 
 of the coop, the maddened' possums pulled from his legs^ taking a 
 good portion of his pantaloons in their teeth so that he looked like 
 a "thing of shreds and patches." It was some time before the 
 excited darkies could be made to understand the situation^ and 
 .then they laughed and shouted as only darkies can do. 
 
 The President mounted another coop and continued as follows: 
 
 "Accidents am common. We alt oughter be fankfiil dat dar 
 was no bars er snaiks, er taggers, er wolves in dat coop yander." 
 
 "I will now interduce to yo' all, Martha Ann Washington 
 Whalen, a 'stinguisBed lady 'longin to the Fo' Hun'ded and Presi- 
 • dent of the Yaller Stockin' Club ob de State of Boston, and now 
 the poetess of Possum Creek. 
 
 Martha Ann will read er pomb 'titled " Coons Dat Pass in De 
 iNight," er suflBn like dat. 
 
 Martha Ann was a short, coal black African. It was hard to 
 5 
 
. 66 
 
 tell whether she was longest across or up and down. She wore large 
 earrings and a red silk' dress of approved style. Her hat was 
 adorned with a crowing rooster. She had a roll of manuscript in 
 her hand, frohi which she read the following " pome: " 
 
 Coosrs DAT Pass in De Night. 
 In de- days ob old, afo de wah, yo' all was slaves, I guess. 
 The times wus not so jubus, now dat I will confess. 
 I libed in Alabam', close by de ribber side. 
 Wen I wus a happy au' a sweet little blushin' bride. 
 
 I hoed de cotton an' de cane, an' dug de tat^rs sweet — 
 An', cooked up wid fat possum dey am mighty fine ter eat. 
 Dem good ole times afp de wah, I looks back to wid pride, 
 Wen I wus sweet sixteen, an' er mighty blushin' bride. 
 
 'We had er dog dats good fo' coons, an Towser wus his name; 
 He's good fo' possums, too, I guess, he cotched de^u. £^11 de same. 
 An' rabbits ! Laws ! yo' ort to seed him make de rabbits run ! 
 I laughed an' laughed — afo' de wah — to see de funny fun. 
 
 An' Towser he chase chipmunks, an' run de groun' hog, too; 
 Dar want a'flng in de chasln' line dat Towser coodent do. 
 But w'en he catch er pole cat, an' brung hit home — well, well — 
 We hatter move outen de house, kase we coodent stan' de smell. 
 
 Hit wus mos' gen'ally in de night he brung de pole cats home. 
 An" den he'd run out atter mo' an' rome, an' rome, an' rome. 
 An' whar we libed — mighty fine place — down dar in Baccoon Holler, 
 S'kins wur wuflE a good big price— ^pole cats, 'bout half er dollah. 
 
 Dar wus many fings in Baccoon Holler er passiu' in de night, 
 Fings dat wus er passin' long — ^jes er moverin' all rite. 
 An' w'eii de coon dogs got out er ba'kin', oh, golly, ''gee I 
 Dey's gwineter catch de coon ef dey hatter cut down er tree. 
 
THE POBTBSS OP POSSUM CREEK. 
 
r,8 
 
 Up whar I libes jn Boston, dey doan hunt fo' coons — dat's rigbt: 
 But dey am many fings er passin" in Boston in de niglit. 
 Den we hab baked beans an' crabs, an' oysters always in sight,, 
 An' we eats de oysters endurin' ob de cole winter's night., 
 
 De college whar I gets my eddicatifan, hit wus a purty sight, 
 An' I cood tole yo' of fings dar passin' in de night. 
 De bed bugs wus de wurstest; an' dey bitte wid all dey might, 
 Dem's some ob de fings I doan like, passin' in de night. 
 
 Ise migbty glad to meet yo' all, down heah on Pqssum Creek, 
 
 But de washin bizness am better in Boston er I'd move heah mighty quick, ' 
 
 Yo' show am er mighty good one, an' ebexyflng am right, 
 
 But we's gwineter hab de mos' f uu, endurin' ob de nigbt. 
 
 At the conclusiop of the "pome," Cyras Blossom proposed three 
 cheers for the poetess, which were given with yells. 
 
 Uncle Pete Shindig, then enquired if the title to the pome just 
 read, "Coons dat Pass in de Night," had any reference to the col- 
 ored folks. 
 
 The poetess explained that it only referred to them "figure- 
 tively." She gave it that title because of old associations. She 
 thought Uncle Shindig was thin skinned, if he couldn't bear the ' 
 word "coon." So far as she was concerned, the aristocratic circle 
 in which she moved in Boston, didn't mind the word at all. If 
 white folks called her "coon," she could fling back "white trash" 
 at them and so get even. 
 
 The President then said the exercises of the day would close with 
 a dance at Poultry hall at night, and the judging begin at ten 
 o'clock the next day. 
 
CHAPTER XI. , 
 
 JUDGING THE EXHIBITS DISPUTES ARISE, A ROW ENSUES 
 
 AND THE SHOW ENDS WITH A FIGHT AND A FIRE. 
 
 The day forjudging the fowls and pet stock had arrived. The 
 twenty-six judges, all members of the Possum Greek Poultry Club, 
 were on hand, and eager for the fray. Each coop was ornamented 
 with a big. score card which nearly covered the entire front of it. 
 The cards were more like huge circus posters than anything else. 
 But the darkies thought them grand and grand they were. 
 
 The first thing tackled by Judge Persimmon Green, was a cooi^ 
 of possums. Ordinarily, "Brudder Green" would have been in 
 his element among possums. At a barbecue, or at a private dinner, 
 or a possum roast, with plenty of sweet 'taters and gravy, he could 
 have judged equal to the oldest nigger in the crowd. But with the 
 "sco' kyard," he was not so familiar. And so with the rest of the 
 judges, to whom the score card was a puzzle. But a darkey will 
 never acknowledge that he is puzzled or beaten when he strikes 
 something he does not understand. And he can be depended to 
 get along with it in some shape. 
 
70 
 
 So the judges of this show filled out the cards easily, i And they 
 went to work at it with g^'eat. dignity and confidence, as though 
 they had done nothing else all their lives. 
 
 "Am dese heah yo' possums?" asked Judge Green, of a darkey 
 standing near the coop. 
 
 "Datdey is, Siah; an' dey's mighty good ones," was the answer. 
 
 "How much yo' fink dey oughter sco'?" 
 
 "De what, sah?" ' 
 
 " How many pints yo' fink dem possums gwineter sco'? " 
 
 "Doan know nufiin' 'bout de pints," answered the dar'key, "bat 
 dem's de bes' possums in de show." 
 
 Judge Green took out his pencil and be'gan to figure. "Dis yer 
 littlQ possum, wid his eye out an' liis year chawed oflf, am cut sixty 
 pints. An' dat possum wid his tail los', am gwineter be^cnt 'bout 
 fo'ty pints. An' dat big. fat one, in de corner wid po' teef, am 
 gwineter be cut 'bout eighty pints. De whole coop done sco' 1973 
 pints, see? 
 
 Of course the colored brother didn't see, but he accepted the 
 verdict without a kick. 
 
 Judge Green next tackled a coop of Brown Leghorns, which he 
 mistook for Games. 
 
 " Dem's tol'ble fai' Games," said he, " but dat ar roostah got too 
 much comb, an' I hatter cut him 'bout ninety-eight pints. He got 
 yaller legs, too. Dat's 'gin de Standard, shuah. He orter hab blue 
 iSgs. Dat's annnder cut ob ninety-four pints. Dem pullets haint 
 
71 
 
 er layin', I spec'. Doan see no aigs in de copp, darfo', I cuts detn 
 147 pints. Dey haint fat, eider, an',dey's.gwineter los' 3^7 pints 
 fur dat. De coop, darfo', am gwinter sco' perzactly 456 pints by 
 de Comparisom kyard." 
 
 And so it went with the other judges. They cut right and left, 
 regardless of "pints" or consequences. Their chief ainl seemed to- 
 be to fill out the " kyards," in some way, and they were doing it to 
 the satisfaction of themselTes, and they knew that was enough. 
 The exhibitors knew no more about score cards than they did 
 about chemistry, and, if the judges were as ignorant as themselves, 
 where was the harm in giving any kind- of a score? Judges are 
 supposed to know their business, and when exhibitors get a 
 "kyard," they are forced to abide by his verdict, right or wrong. 
 And so the Possumcreekers looked upon their judges as learned in 
 chicken, as well as possum and coon lore, and accepted the inev- 
 itable. ' ! 
 
 And it was amusing to see the crowds watching the scoring pro- 
 cess. The judges were very dignified, and wore an air of lofty, in- 
 telligence. But, as some of them, in fact -the majority, could not , 
 write, they were forced to call to their assistance some "brudder" or 
 sister posted on the art of "readin', writin' and rifmatick." By 
 this means the number of judges was greatly increaised, and the 
 judging greatly mixed. But then the show was a mixed one. 
 Every darkey within twenty miles of Possum Creek who had a 
 dog, or a sheep^ or an old rooster, or a coon, or a possum, or a 
 
72 
 
 crow, or an old horse, or a calf, or anything^ that wore hair, fur or 
 feathers, had brought it to the show in anticipation of a prize. In 
 fact, many of the darkies had been collecting snakes, ground hogs, 
 blue jays, squirrels, rabbits, coons, possums, etc., all summer for 
 this great coming event, and the number present was astonishing. 
 It was a veritable menagerie, and the darkies were proud of it. 
 They did not care so much for the " pints " to be won and lost. 
 They were in for a big holiday, and they had it. 
 
 Of course, there were a few fairly good fowls at the show. But 
 only a few. A coop of Light Brah mas, owned Jby Uncle Rastus, 
 who scored them himself, shovifed up 2,679 points for five birds. 
 He explained by saying: 
 
 "Dem ar common jedges kaint suo' de pints perzactly on fine 
 dhickens like dese heah, kase dey haint got de 'sperienee, dat dey 
 haint. Dey knows all 'bout coons an' possums, au' de like er dat, 
 an' I haint gwineter trus' my chickens wid em, soiah ! I kin do de 
 sco' bisness wid my birds, an' I'se gwineter satisfy mysef dat hits 
 all right." 
 
 Presently Judge Limestone Wheeler came to a coop of snakes and 
 he was puzzled. " What's de soo' fo' snakes ? " he asked of Uncle 
 Eastus. 
 
 "Dey haint got na sco'," was the reply. "Jedge dem by de 
 size."' 
 
 " Unl, urn, by de size. Les see ! Dar's ten big snakes dat'll go 
 fo'ty pints erpiece. Dat's 600 pints. An' de five little snakes, dey'll 
 
JUDGE LIMESTONE WHEELKR. 
 
74 
 
 go 'bout 20 pints erpiece. Dat's 300 pints. De coop done sco' 
 1,500 pints, I fink. Yes, dat's de seo'." 
 
 And it was so recorded. 
 
 "The " brudder " whose Leghorns were scored for Games, by Judge 
 Green, was mad. Some one told h^m that his birds ought to score 
 more "pints," and he thought he was slighted'. He tore the score' 
 card ofE, hunted up the President, and kicked vigorously. "I'se 
 . gwinter hab mo' pints, er whoop de jedge,"he said. The President 
 explained that it was not the fault of the' judge, but the card. 
 "Yo' wanted y.o' chickens sco'd by de Compar'som kyard, an' 
 dat's w'at de kyard 'gub yo'. Brudder Green haint ter blame fo' 
 dat." 
 
 "Den I'll get er Possum Creek, sco' kyard," said the man, "an' 
 hab dem chickens sco'd ober 'gin. Dey haint gwineter beat me on 
 pints in dis show. No, sah, dey haitit." ' 
 
 ' And he started in a search after the offending judge. But the 
 judge was obdurate. 
 
 " I done sco'd dem chickens by de kyard, yo' put on de coop," he 
 said, " an' I hant gwineter sco' dem ober. Ef all de fool niggers in. 
 de show, dat doan know de pints w'en dey sees dem, am gwineter 
 run atter me to sco' dar stock ober 'gin, whar's I comin' out 
 at? No, sahy I done sco' yo' chickens, a;n' yo' go way 'bout 'yo 
 bishess." 
 
 Then the colored, brother hit Judge Gveen a powerful blow in 
 the face, and the fun commenced. And, without knowing what 
 
75 
 
 the racket was about, friends on both sides took part, and the fight 
 became general. Ooops were overturned, benches demolished and 
 pandemonium reigned. Chickens, ducks, geese, coons, possums, 
 dogs, snakes, etc., were liberated and helped swell the confusion. 
 Such barking and squawking and cackling and yelling, never 
 before awoke the echoes on Possum Creek. In vain the President 
 tried, to stop the rumpus, but he might as well have tried to stop 
 the wind. Copious draughts of hard cider and " co'n liquor " had 
 fired the blood of these Southern darkies, and the racket was 
 peaches and cream to them, with watermelons thrown in. And no 
 Donnybrook Pair revellers ever enjoyed a fracas better. 
 
 When Uncle Eastus found he could not stop the racket, he 
 pulled off his coat and sailed in himself. And he was not particu- 
 lar, either, whom he hit or where he hit. He smashed, right and 
 left, and was in the thickest of the fray punching heads wherever 
 he saw one to hit. And the wenches somehow got mixed up in it, 
 too. The poetess from Boston had her hat smashed and lost some 
 wool, but she countered on her opponent and came out smiling, 
 bat badly disfigured, with a handful of wool in return. 
 
 And ,the fight went on merrily outside, too. It seemed to be 
 contagious, until the entire assembly were at it pell-mell. Hardly 
 a chicken coop was left unbroken . All the 'windows were smashed 
 and the affrighted fowls and animals were flying and scampering in .^ 
 all directions, with many a squawk and growl. 
 
 Suddenly, amid the din and noise of the warfare, the cry of 
 
76 
 
 " Fire ! Fire ! " sounded from a score of, throats. The building was 
 on fire ! The flames were already licking up one end of the struc- 
 ture, and the fire was swiftly running along the dry shingles of the 
 roof. This brought the maddened crowd to their senses. But na 
 water was at hand ! The creek was a quarter of a mile ofE, and 
 water was, therefore, out erf the question. Then came a scramble 
 to save the few things that remained unbroken in the building. 
 A few coops were got put when the heat became unbearable, and 
 in a' short time all that remained of the Possum Greek Poultry 
 Show was a heap of smoking ruins." 
 
 Sadly the darkies gazed at the desolation before them, caused by 
 their folly. Running in all directions were scores of fowls, coons, 
 possums and other exhibits 6f the late show. The darkies tried to- 
 run them down and capture them, but they instinctively took to 
 the woods and* defied pursuit, from the branches of the tall trees. 
 
 Uncle Rastus, the President, somewhat battered but hopeful and 
 smiling, remarked to a groi^p near him : 
 
 " We'll hatter 'journ de show. Yes, I guess we hatter 'journ 
 now an' go home fo' de night catches us. Dat's w'at yo' bettah all 
 do. An' I'm gwinetergo right now." 
 
 And suiting the action to the word, he unhitched his "one-hoss 
 shay," gathered tip his wife and nine children, lashed his 2:40 nag, 
 and rattled along for home, two miles distant. 
 
 Many of the darkies followed suit. But when night came and 
 the full moon rose on the smoking ruins, a number of darkies were 
 
still engaged in "phasing rainbows" adorned with fur and feath- 
 ers. The situation was truthfully and graphically explained, how^ 
 ever, when one of the darkies said to another : " Dat was de bes' 
 fight Fse had sence I kin disremember." 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Washington's birthday celebration by the' possum 
 
 creek poultry club the president makes an 
 
 effective' and patriotic speech a new story 
 
 about washington. 
 
 "As dig am the annerversity ob de birf ob Go'ge Washington," 
 remarked the President -when the roll call had been completed, ' 
 "hit am fittin' dat I ma"ke some rema'ks on de life ob dat mos' 
 greatest chicken man dat eber libed in dis 'Merican uniou; Hit 
 am not perzactly known dat Ginral Washington was in de chicken 
 bizness. Yo' all doan no dat. An' dar am mity few white men 
 dat knows hit neider. Yo' neber see hit mentioned in the white 
 chicken papers dat de Ginral wus de fust man to fetch ober the 
 Buff PlimufE Eock, an' de Buff Langshan, an' the Speckled Ham. 
 burgs, an' de White Bremmers, an' de Blue Legho'ns, an' de Scam- 
 pines, an' de Wyandots, an' seberel odder so'tsob Games to dis yer 
 country. But dat's de fac'. W'en de Ginral wasn't fittin' de Injuns 
 an' de odder f urriners, he wus er fightin' Games down on his fa'm 
 in ole Varginny, er packin' aigs fur de New Yo'k ma'ket. My 
 gran'miidder was one ob de body sarvants ob de Ginral, an' she 
 
UNCLE RASTUS DELIVERING A SPEECH ON WASHINGTON. 
 
80 
 
 done tole me all erbout hit. Misses Washington she doan like 
 chickens, an' she useter kick up er racket ebery day bout de wvy de 
 Gini-f),! spendin' his time in de chicken houses ermong de chickens. 
 She say dat ef he gwineter be er chicken crank, that she gwinetep 
 go home to her mudder, an git er 'vorce up in Dakota. Dats 
 w'at she say. But de Ginral he doan min' dat, de Ginral doan. 
 Sez de Ginral, se^ee,' 'Misses Washington, yo' oaghter be shamed 
 to talk datter way. But yo'kin go to Dakota an' git er 'vorce, jes 
 es soon as yo' pleases. I done got my min' made up 'bout de 
 chicken bizness. De kentry needs chickens des es much es hit.need • 
 Ginrals, an' swim or sink, gimme liberty, er gib me chickens.'" 
 
 ' Now dar wus er man dat had a min' ob his owii. Ef de Ginral 
 had listened to Misses Washington, like Misses Eve listened to de 
 snake in de gyarden ob Eden, whar would de chicken bizness bin 
 to-day ? Whar would de Possum Creek Poultry Club be to-day ? 
 Would dis Club be de axeltree on w'ich all de poultry clubs, an' all 
 de poultry interests ob de wo'ld revolve, ef de Ginral had er listened 
 to dat woman an' er shet down on de chicken bizness ? No, sah ! 
 Darfo', de Ginral am greater in de chicken bizness dan in wah.' 
 Dis Club could go out wid guns an' whoop a few Brittishers. Dey 
 could do dat mity easy. But whar's de chickens comin' from to 
 feed de sogers ef de Ginral say dat de chicken bizness gwineter stojj 
 in dis country ? 
 
 "Darfo', w'en dB birfday ob de Ginral come roun', yo' all should 
 recommember dat he wus de man fust in wah, fust in peace, an' 
 
' 81 
 
 k 
 
 fust in de chicken bizness. De 'colored people should hono' him 
 mo' fo' "bein' fust in de chicken bizness dan fust in wah. We all 
 has er fondness fo' chickens, an de man dat sta'ted de 'dustry in 
 dis country, should receib de lastin' an' eternal gratitude ob de 
 colored race, clear to whar, es de poet ses, 'To Greenlan's freezin' 
 mountains, an' Africa's golden san's.' ' < 
 
 "An' dat haint all 'bout de'Grinral. He skivered dis America. 
 My granmudder ses she know hit was de Ginral dat skivered 
 America, kase she heah him say Aa,i he did. I haint nebber heah 
 no talk 'bout dat Kerlumbus feller afo' the wah. Dey say he 
 skivered America. But dis Club doan belieb dat. Dafs like de 
 ■story dat de world resolves roun' on er axeltree ebery day. Ef 
 Kerlumbus skivered dis America, whar's some ob de old niggers dat 
 skivered hit erlong with him ? Bar's plenty ob niggers dat wus 
 wid Ginral Wasjiington w'en he diskivered America an' drnv out 
 de Ingans an' de Red Coats. My granmudder '11 swear to dat.. 
 But whar's de pusson dat gwineter , swear pirie blank dat Kerlum- 
 bus skivered hit ? My 'pinion is dat Kerlumbus am an old fraud, 
 got up by de enemies ob de chicken bizness, to take de credit f rum 
 de Ginral. De members ob dis Club mus' stan' by Washington, an' 
 •whoop de man dat ses Kerlumbus diskivered- America. 
 
 "Annuder fing. Haint de Ginral called 'de Father- ob his 
 
 Coantry ?' Now how could he be de father ob his country,, ef he 
 
 didn't diskiver de country ? Right dar's whar we got dem. Who 
 
 diskivered my boy, Rastus, sitten in de corner, dar ? Who fust 
 
 6 . . 
 
83 
 
 diskivered him ? Why, his fadder, ob cou'se. Dat makes me de . 
 fadder ob de boy, doaii hit? Yo' all doan heah Kerlumbua called 
 de fadder ob his country. Um,ii-m-m ! Not in de day time. Yo' 
 doan heah dat he was fust in wah, an' fust in de chicken bizness, 
 eider, dofis yo' ? Oh, we got de argyment on dis Kerlumbus biz- 
 ness, an' doan yo' disremember hit. 
 
 " Annuder fing dat clinches my pints. Kerlumbus wus er 
 foreigner, an Irishman, wile Ginral Washington wus bo'n in dis 
 country, an' jus' attgrhe wus bo'n, he set out to skiver hit. Why, 
 de bigges' fool in Georgy kin see dat Kerhimbns haint in hit wid 
 Washington. Ef de members ob dis Olu b am jes es shuah ob er , 
 ticket ob 'mission to de New Jerusalum es dey am dat Kerlumbus 
 had nuflSn to do wid skivering dis country, dey am all on de way to 
 glory. Mebbe Kerlumbus skivered hisself, but Washington done 
 skivered America afo' Kerlumbus wus bo'n. 
 
 r 
 
 _ " In 'sideration ob de Ginral bein' de fust chicken man ob deduy, 
 de Sec'tary ob dis Club am 'stj-ucted to advertise fo' plans an' 
 spec'fications fo' a bronze statue ob Ginrnl Washingbon, to sot on de 
 top er our new hall, an' to cost not mo' dan twenty-five thousan' 
 dollahs. De wo'k mus' be done in de highes' style an' be finished 
 inside ob free weeks atter de contract am let. 
 ' Fur de benefit ob de boys present at dis annerversary ob de berf 
 ob Washington, hit would be well fo' dem to recommember 'bout 
 dat cherry tree. De father ob de ginral had a cherry 6'chad, an' 
 one tree dat wus de fines' in de country. De cherries wus big es er 
 
83 
 
 plum, an' Misses Washington she want dem fo' 'zerves, dey 
 wus so sweet an' nice. 'Bout Christmas times, ole Santa Claus 
 puts er hatchet in de stocliin' dat 'longs ter Washington, an' de 
 boy wus tickled almos' to deff. He cut all his madder's kid'lin' 
 wid dat hatchet, es well es de wood fo' de fiahplaces, an' w'en he 
 wasn't fishin', or trying to skiver somethin', he wus er whackin' 
 way wid dat hatchet. One day w'en Geowge wus out atter a wood- 
 chuck, a bad boy dat libed next do', an' wus mad at Geowge kase 
 he beat him at de jackpot game, got hole ob dat hatchet an' 
 whacked down the fine cherry tree. 
 
 "When ole man Washington see dat, he wus mad. U-m-m! 
 How he do swear an' tear 'roun'. Den he got a big ' blacksnake,' 
 an' say dat he's gwineter cat de hide often de man dat cut down de ; 
 cherry tree. An' he sorter ax Geowge ef he do dat. Geowge say 
 dat he tells him dis ebenih' bout de tree. Den he got out an' met 
 Billy McSpaddin, de boy dat done de cuttin, an' he tole Billy dat 
 de ole man wus atter him, an' wus gwinter skin him, an' dat sca'ed 
 Billy awfully. Den he say to Geowge dat he gib him a nice 
 squirrel gun ef he say he cut de tree." 
 
 "Den I cotch de licken'," say Geowge. 
 
 " Well, kaint yo' 'ford to catch a lickin fo' sech a fine gun," ses 
 Billy. 
 
 " Geowge want de gun mighty bad, an' he 'low, atter wile, dat he 
 could Stan' de licken fo' de gun." 
 
 "But yo' mus' give me de gun fust," he say. „ 
 
84 
 
 ' "An' Billy got hit fo' him, an' hid hit in de ba'n." 
 
 " Dat night he tole de ole man dat he couldn't tell a lie, dat he 
 cut down de cherry tree, an' de ole maa tuk him out to de wood- 
 shed an' gave him de wust kind er a licken. ' I batter lick yo', 
 you rascal," ses de ole man^ ' er yo'U be cuttin' down de whole or- 
 chard." 
 
 .' " Now dis am a lesson lo' de boys an' girls heah, dat dey mus' 
 always speak de trufe. Ef Geowge Washington bad tole de trnfe 
 he wouldn' cotoh no whoopin. An' he might er got aigs fromi de 
 hen house an' saved dem up an' sold dem, an' got money to buy er 
 gun, er traded de aigs fur er gun. Policy am de bes' onnesty, all 
 de time. Dat is de true story 'bout Washington's little hatchets 
 My grandmudder wus dar at de time, an' see de whole fing wid her 
 own eyes." / , 
 
 '~^' I do&,n know ef annuder club in dis country will cel'brate dis 
 day in de befittenes' way dat de Possum Creek Poultry Club hab 
 'sponded to hit. De white man finks dat he's snia*t, an' dat he 
 know a, heap. But w'en he read de address ob de Pres'dint ob dis 
 yer Cliib he will git pints on Washington dat will be wufE dolla's to 
 him. An' speshally am dis true w'en I notify de public dat Wash- 
 ington wus a culled man, an' dat he cum frum one ob de old.es' an' 
 besMamilies in ole Varginny, away back, afo' de wah." 
 
 " Brer Limestone Wheeler got de notion in his head dat he look 
 like Gedwge Washington. An' w'en I seed him in de military pro- 
 cession de odder, day, wid his cocked hat, on dat prancin' boss, he 
 
, 85 
 
 sorter 'minded me ob Washington, he do. But Brer Wheeler haint 
 no Washington, an' de bes' ting he kin do is to git dat notion out ob 
 his head, an' remember dat he's a plain plug whitewasher like de 
 res' ob ns, Ef Brer Wheeler had struck ile, he mout do de shoddy 
 'strocracy bizness wid perfection. But he doan got no ile well 
 on his place, an' dar am no signs dat dar am ile dar, 'ceptin wa't 
 he put on his har." 
 
 "Brer Wheeler should remember dat de 'stocracy ob. brains am 
 way up an' 'bove the 'stocracy ob money. De Pres'dent ob dis yer 
 club 'd radder be a man wid brains dan a man widout brains an' a 
 bank account. Money makes de boss go. But w'en de money 
 done gone de boss an' all am gone. When a man has money, 
 hit make no difference how big er fool he am. He got de gilded 
 butterflies 'roun' him in swa'mB. But w'en de money done gone, de , 
 butterflies done gone, too." 
 
 " De Pres'dent ob dis yer Club hab been ou^tside de State ob Georgy, 
 an' mingled wid some ob de high muck-a-mucks ob .s'ciety. He 
 habiseed de hollowness an' de shams ob de shoddy class, an' kin 
 say wid trufe dat brains, eddification an' intelligence am de onnest 
 props ob s'ciety. Let us, as a Club, wo'kin fur de 'vanbement ob de 
 c'hicken 'dustry, help on our members wid eddification, an' let de 
 shoddy so'fgo to de debbel." 
 
 "Brer Wheeler mus' be his own plain whitewashin' se'f, an' not 
 try to be wa't he aint. De good Lawd made him a whitewasher 
 an' dis Club made him a jedge ob chickens. Let him, darfo', not 
 
86 
 
 singe his wings by tryin' to climb too high. De tu'key buzzard 
 kin nebber be er eagle, an' de Dominick roostah kin nebber be a 
 peacock. De cook kin please de, Missus, but de cook mus' nebber 
 imagine dat she am de Missus. De igno'ant pusson dat imagines 
 dey am bettah dan de pusson wid brains an' eddiflcation am gwine- 
 ter hit de groun' mighty ha'd sometime. Let us all be good as we 
 kin, an' do de bes' we kin. But we mus' remember dat de Lawd 
 makes de Ginrals an' de whitewashers, an' dat we is w'at we is, 
 an' dat we kaint make ourselves any mo' difEe'ntly." 
 
 "We will now 'journ Washington's birfday until nex' yeah." 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 LECTURE ON " THE DUCK," BY KERNEL OPTIMUS SHOCKLEY. 
 
 "Am Kernel Optimus Shockley, of Ohattanoogay, in de hall ? " 
 
 asked the President on the reassembling of the Club at its next 
 meeting. 
 
 " He am," was the answer, as a tall, bald-headed darkey, with 
 Burnside whiskers, rose to his feet to respond to the call. 
 
 " Den come up heah, an' lemme interjuice yo," replied the 
 President. 
 
 " Dis am de learned science lecturer from Chattanoogy, who will 
 tell yo' all mo' 'bout ducks dan yo' eber knowed afo'. What de 
 Kernel doan know "bout ducks would make a mity big book, Now 
 pull off yo' coat. Kernel, an' git down ter bizness. Gas costs money, 
 an' de price oh coal am riz ." 
 
 The Kernel then turned himself loose, as follows: 
 
 " De word ' ducks ' am kinder sorter ambiguous an' — an' er — 
 well, dey's all sorts oh ducks, from de gay an' frisky duck dat beats 
 his board bill, an' doan pay his washerwoman, to de plain duck dat 
 cum outen deark wid old man Nore, an' am playin' spring duck at 
 de pop'lar boardin' houses. Joseph us, in his hist'ry ob de Chinese 
 Empire, sjieaks erbout ducks bein' too fat ter lay eggs. Dat was 
 
88, 
 
 afo' de 'skirery ob iseter shells, I 'speot, an' befo' de' anty-fat mau 
 was in de anty-fat bizness. Hit was also befo' de wah, an' befo' 
 de theory was diskivered dat de lean, poor hen lay mo' eggs dan'de 
 hen wid plenty ob, corn an' oder fingS' in her craw. Mack Cawley, 
 in s'peakin' ob de ancient Romans, sed dat dey dined on roas' duck 
 an' lager beer, sebenteen hundred thousand years, befo' de Christ- 
 mas ery. I doan know what de Christmas ery am, but hit show . 
 dat de duck hes come to stay wid us, an' dat we mus' all go into de 
 duck raisin' .bizness ef we wants to amalgamate de horizontal cor- 
 respondence ob de eliptical coalescence ob de — de — de — an', 
 right dar is whar we makes de money in de duck raisin' bizness, as 
 I shall told yo'. But, to resume. 
 
 " Go back wid me fo^'teen hundred thousand years befo' de flood ■ 
 or de diskiyery ob Kerlumbus. Ramsack de six co'ners ob de uni- 
 varse. Dive down into de inscrutable an' de 'comprehensible con- 
 comitants ob de illusive machinery ob dis planet, an' what do we 
 find ? yes, what do we see ? Doan putty brung de.same price in 
 New Yo'k, an'haint de dooty on whisky de same under de present 
 'ministration? Yo' all know dis fim so an' yo' kaint deny hit. 
 Es de poet beautifully 'spresses de situation: 
 
 1 " Now am de winter ot our miscontent. 
 
 De summer am er comin' an' yo' aint got er red cent.'' 
 
 '•Atl' dis 'minds me to ask yo' why yo' all doan raise ducks^. 
 Ebery member ob dis ^telligent an' highly educated Club oughter, 
 he in de duck bizness clar to his neck. Dey's millions in ducks 
 
KERNEL OPTIMUS 8H0CKLEY DISCUSSING "DUCKS." 
 
90 
 
 when yo' fin' hit out.. An' de way to fin' hit out am to git a move 
 
 on yo'selbee an' branch out. Go to work an' build duck houses. 
 
 Buy Ian' wid a creek on hit, an' go inter de duck bizness wid bofe 
 
 feet. Git a hundred inkybators an' hatch all de eggs. De mandat 
 
 kin hatch out and ma'ket a million er mo' ducks de comin' season 
 
 am boun' to rake in de dollars. When I look eroun' and see de 
 
 talent, de duck raisin' talent an' brains goin' ter waste in dis Clfb, 
 
 hit fills me wid grief, an' in de language ob de poet, I feel like 
 
 sayin' : 
 
 Cum one, cum all, dis rock sliell fly, , 
 
 Go inter der duck bizness, root ]4ig, or die, 
 
 Er words to dat effect. 
 I "De bes' duck to raise am de canvas back duck. Dey comes wid 
 de canvas on dem, an' yo' doan hafter fool wid dem same es yo' do 
 wid canvas back hams. Ef yo' could raise de canvas back hams 
 same es de ducks, dey might be de mos' money in dem, but yo' 
 kaint, an', darfo', hits bes' to fall back on de ducks. Wid 'fo'teen 
 acres ob ducks, an' fo'teen acres of celery fo' de diicks to eat, de 
 bigges' fool in Georgy kaint help makin' a million dollars. I'd go 
 inter de'duck bizness mesef, but I haint de time. No, I haint got 
 de time. De man dats wo'kin' fo' de good er de race haint got de 
 time to fool wid ducks. Refo'mers doan wo'k. Dey doan hafter. 
 A man kaint be a refo'mer an' wo'k at de same time. Us lecterers 
 an' refo'mers weahs good clothes, libs on de fat ob de Ian',, has a 
 good time wid de sistahs, an' dat's all we git fo' our labo's fo' hu- 
 
91 
 
 manity an' de race. W(! tells yo' all how to make de money, an' ef 
 yo' doain make hit, we haint ter blame, is we ? " 
 
 "Look at de leaders ob de political pa'ties. Dey doan wo'k. Not 
 mnch, honey. Dey tells de people how to sabe de country by 
 'lectin' dem to office, an' when dey gits de office an' de country 
 haint sabed, whose fault am hit ? Yes, whose ter blame ? Yo' all 
 kin figger dis out to suit yo'selbes. 
 
 " Now, I done tole yo' all how to make money wid ducks. Ef 
 yo' doan make de money, dats not my fault. We kaint all be re- 
 fo'mers. Some ob us hafter do de wo'k while de odders refo'ms de 
 people. De good Lawd made some Db us to tell de odders how to 
 do de wo'k widout wo'kin' any ourselbes. I'm doin' de tellin'. 
 Dat's all I'm gwineter to do. Yo' all mus' wo'k out yo' own salba- 
 tion, es de poet ses. 
 
 "Now, all dat's intendin' to arise a million ducks de comin' 
 season, will please raise dar hah's. (AH the hands in the hall were 
 up. The thing seemed to be unanimous.) All goin' inter de duck 
 bizness. All gwineter took my advice. All goin' to be millionaires. 
 
 " In 'elusion, I'll tell yo' how to ma'ket de ducks. When yo' hab 
 a kyar load, er enough ter load a train, all picked an' dressed fo' ,de 
 ma'ket, send dem to Savannah, an' ship to New Yo'k. Ef yo' kin 
 git a million to ma'ket, an' sell dem fo' fo'ty cents er poun' dat'll 
 brung yo' $3,400,000. (Great applause.) Figgers nebber lie. Yo' 
 speaker might do dat. But figgers kin be 'pfended. on to tell de 
 trufe ebery time. Go inter de duck bizness. Dar's millions in it." 
 
92 
 
 " Wid dese few rema'ks I close de lecter, an' de hat will now be 
 passed roUn' fo' money to pay my kyar fare back to Chattanoogy. 
 Ise done tole yo' how to make millions an' yo" should show yo' 
 liberality." 
 
 Uncle RastpiS listened to the address attentively. When the 
 speaker finished he arose with a grim smile overspreading his 
 classic features, and said in a tone somewhat ironical: "De 
 learned Kernel from Chattanoogy has certainly put the duck in de 
 mostest Agreeable and bizness way. 1 doan know nuffin 'bout ducks 
 er odder pet stock. Ise a fancier. Wen hit come to chickens, I 
 spects I know a chicken w'en I sees hit. I do dat. De main de- 
 jection I has to deduck bizness am, dat ef yo' follows de Kernel's- 
 'vice, dat de fust fing yo' knows yo' am millyunaires, an' den 
 whar'll dis Club be ? Yes, whar'll she be ? I' hope yo'all will gub 
 dis question you' mo^' prarful thpnght, an' not go ter raisiu' a 
 inillyun ducks right off on de sta't. ' De Kernel, no doubt, want to 
 see yo' all makin' money. But, my 'vice is to sta't wid" 'bout half 
 er dozen ducks twell yo' see how hit go. Ef Brer Limestone- 
 Wheeler, or Brer Spaferib Jackson would go on de ma'ket an' buy 
 a millyun ducks to-morrer, de fust fing yo' knows dey would have 
 so much money outen de duck raisin' bizness dat dey's got so big- 
 gotty an' uppity dat dey'd hab no use fo' dis Club. Darfo' I says, go 
 slow in de duck bizness twell yo' kin stan' prosperity an' so forf." 
 
 "We will now meander to our peaceful cottages an' sleep ober de 
 duck raisin' qiiesfloiii We is now 'journed." 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 AN INTERESTING MEETING — SOMETHING ABOUT FINANCES 
 
 ■ THE CHICKEN BUSINESS — ^FREE SILVER, ETC. — -DIS- 
 
 ' CUSSION ON BONE FEEDING — UNCLE RA^TUS GETS IN 
 SOME GOOD LOGIC. 
 
 The business of the evening had been transacted, and Poultry 
 Hall was wrapped in quietness, or would have been, were it not for 
 the loud and musical snore of Sparerib Jactson, which woke the 
 echoes, and caused a broad grin, to illumine the face of the Preai- 
 'dent, who was adjusting his 'spectacles preparatory to giving the 
 Club some talk. 
 
 Seven new members had been initiated and instructed in the 
 signs, grips and pass words, and two candidates had "rid" the 
 goat in the 45th degree, which cost each the sum of $482.25. They 
 did not pay cash, so it went down on the book. 
 
 " Will some good Brudder stick er pin in Brer Sparerib 
 Jackson?" asked TJncle Rastus, quaintly. 
 
 Huckelberry White did the pin sticking, and Brer Jackson lit on . 
 his feet with a yell that shook great patches of plaster off the 
 ceiling. • 
 
9i 
 
 • " Sot down, Brer Jackson, sot down," said the President. "Has 
 yo' got snakes in . to' boots, or wus yo' dreamin' ob bein' bit by 
 er moecosin ?" 
 
 Brer Jackson glared , wildly around, and remarked, "I I 
 
 mils' bin a dreamin' sho'ly. I fought that six niggers wuz kyarvin' 
 me wid razors. I — " 
 
 "Dat will do. Brer Jackson. De seck'tary am 'structed to put 
 down a fine on de book 'gin yo' fo' $247. 98. An' de nex' time yo' so fa' 
 fo' get yo' self, an' de honiili ob dis Club as ter go ter sleep endurin' 
 ob de ex'cises, de fine will be fo'teen hundred dollahs, wid ten per 
 cent interest frum the time we found yo'. , Dey may call me a mar- 
 tainet, an ole tyrant, an' all the names in the vocalcabulary ob 
 Shakespeer, but, sink er swim, es Bonnyparte said w'eu he wus 
 chasin'de Brittish at de battle ob Brandywine, Ise gwineter hab 
 dis'pline in dis Club an' order, ef I has to whoop ebery nigger in 
 hit." • 
 
 Brer Jackson subsided, and the President continued : " I hole 
 in my ban' a letter from a Perfessor in a college at Oberlin, Ohio, 
 axin' what pro'gess de Club hab made in de arts an' sciences, an' 
 wantin' ter know ef de culle'd people ob Georgy am satisfied wid de 
 situation frum er silver stan'pint. 
 
 " I hastens to assure de Perfessor dat we am all K w'en hit cum 
 to de arts, b»t we am jes a takin' de shell offen de sciences, so to 
 speak. We am also at de top on the silyer question, from all de 
 stan'pints dat's gwine. Hit am er fiic' dat kaint be 'sputed by de 
 
95 
 
 mos' keerful an' comprehensive breeder in dis Club, dat silver am 
 pow'ful- sca'ce on Possum Creek. Las' Sunday, at de African 
 Mef'dist 'Piscopal church, dej was nuffin but buttons put in de 
 conterbution box, an' de preacher axed, whar am all de silver ? 
 An' dat's why I ax dis Club, whar am de silver gwine to ? We'n I 
 itaken er chicken to de sto', de sto' keeper ses dat money am 
 sca'ce on 'count er de gole bugs getting all de silver, an' dat, darfo' 
 he' gwine pay me only twenty cents er piece fo' the pullets. But den 
 wen I goes to de sto' ter buy er pullet, tlie sto' keeper 'low dat he 
 , kiaint take lessen fo'ty cents fo' de pullet. "Yo' only payin' me 
 twenty cents fo' pullets, an' now yo' gwine cha'ge me fo'ty cents ; 
 how's dat?" " Well, Uncle Eastus, hit's dis er way," says d^ 
 sto' keeper : "De guv'ment has jes issued fo' hundred millions ob 
 gole in bonds, an' yo' all hatter pay de int'rest on dem bonds. Dat 
 make money sca'ce, an' de price er pullets boun' ter go up.'' "But 
 yo' doan pay me only half wot yer sell fo.' Yo' gib me twenty 
 cents fo' pullets,- an' now yo' ax me fo'ty cents w'en I wants ter 
 buy. How's dat agin? " ." 
 
 " Ef yo' un'stood finances, Uncle," sez de sto'keeper, sczee, ^'yo' 
 wouldn't ax dat ques'on. De man wot raises de pullets kaint cx- 
 pec' to git so much es de man dat sells dem. De bonds am in 
 favor ob de buyer, an' de seller got tor tcok liis chances," sezee. 
 "All yo' got ter do is ter pay de intres' on de bonds, an' sell yo' 
 puMets fo' de sellin' price. De bonds am fo' hones mo'ney, an' 
 de bankers an' de 'ministration, an' jMigland, am all gwineter 
 
96 
 
 gib yo' all dat kind er money, ef yo' votes de honest money 
 ticket." 
 
 •'De Seck'tary will please write to de Ohio Perfessev dat we is 
 'zaminin' de finances frum all pints er de compass, an' dat we will 
 seud him our seberal 'pinions later on. We wants mo' silver, an'- 
 de niggers would be pow'ful glad ef hit's free. We can stan' seb- 
 eral tons er free silver, right now, heah on Possum, Creek." 
 
 Limestone Wheeler wanted, to sav a few words on finances. He 
 believed he understood the whole business of money. It was one 
 •of the simplest things in the world. "I figgers hit dis way," said 
 he. " W'en chickens am high, we gits mo' money fo' dem dan 
 we'n dey am cheaper. Dat is, we doan git so big er price fo' pul- 
 lets w'en dey am low es we'n dey am high. De scarcity ob money 
 am er — dat is " 
 
 " Hole on. Brer Wheeler, hole on," interrupted the President. 
 " Yo' doah know no mo' bout finances dan de Pres'dent of dese 
 United States — not er bit mo'. You'll be sottin' yo'self up-fo' a 
 Mister -Coin de fust flng we knows, ef yo' doan got a backset. Bet- 
 ter let de finances ob de kentry 'lone' an' stick to whitewashin' an' 
 ohickens. De trouble wid yo' fool niggers am, dat w'en yo' kin 
 count de cents in a dollah, yo' fink yo' am fitten ter be bank pres'- 
 ■dents an all' dat. A fool white man dat's monkeyin' wid finances 
 an' spendin' his time in argifyin' 'bout what he doan un'stan', an 
 nebber will un'stan', am bad ernuff. , But w'en hit come to fool 
 niggers talkin' 'bout hones' money, free ' silver, . an' de tariff, hit 
 
97 
 
 make me sick at de stnmmick, hit do. Let de white folks maa- 
 age de finances, au' let de niggers manage de hen roosts." 
 
 Uncle Eastus then drew a paper from his pocket, opened it, and 
 said : " Now listen to dis from de Poultry Bugle: 
 
 "Fowl? which receib grouu' bone as a part ob dar diet, de- 
 welop finer plumage dan dose wich gets no sich feed." " Am any 
 ob de members ob dis Club feedin' bones to dar chickens?" 
 
 Sandwich Eollins said he had tried it. He mortgaged his cook 
 stove and watch to buy a bone ci\tCer, buc the chickens soon got 
 tired of bones and wanted corn. He fed bones for two weeks but 
 was obliged to quit, or his heuswould have stai-vod. He preferred 
 corn and wheat to bones every time, and he now, had a bone cutter 
 for sale at half price. 
 
 " Yo' fed nufBn but bones endurin' de time, did yo,' Brer Rol- 
 lins?" asked the President. 
 
 "Dat's hit, sah, nuffin' but bones." 
 
 Huckleberry White had also tried the bone i'eed. He had a 
 wagon load of bones brought from the slaughter house, but tlie 
 hens could not crack them. He did not know anything about bone 
 cutters, but found bones too hard for the hens to break up or eat. ' 
 He was done with the bone foolishness. Plenty of oats and corn 
 beat bones clear out of sight. So he thought. 
 
 " Yo' spected dem ar hens to eat de -bones, did yo'. Brer 
 White?" 
 
 ■" I sure did, sah. Doau my dogs eat de bones ' Ob co'se dey 
 
98 
 
 does. What's de matter wid de hens eatin' de bones, ef de dogs 
 
 does?" 
 
 Battercake Peeler said he had read about bones being good for 
 
 hens in his poultry paper, but ue thought it a joke some one was 
 
 getting ofE on the hens. He knew his dogs chawed up bones, but 
 
 he had no idea fiens could eat^bones. He_bought a souiJ bone every 
 
 Saturday for his family; he had never tried feeding soup bones to 
 
 his chickens. 
 
 i 
 Bascom Blossom had tried bones as a feed with great results. 
 
 He had a flock of thirty hensandaBaniani rooster. The hens laid 
 
 no eggs until he was advised to feed i,b.one, when the egg yield 
 
 astonished him. His chickens commenced at once to lay an egg a 
 
 dayjeach, and it was only a little while until every hen on the 
 
 place was laying three eggs a day. He was forced to quit the bone 
 
 feed for fear the hens would kill themselves laying. He was in 
 
 favor of bone feed, but he thought "it straining on the hens. 
 
 "Did yo' hab a bone mill, Brer Blossom ?" asked the President. 
 
 "No, sah. De hens cracked up de bones darselves." 
 
 Limestone Wheeler had some experience in bone feeding. He read 
 somewhere that the best way to feed ,bones was to dissolve them 
 in acid and give the acid to the hens. He followed the advice, but 
 didn't care to repeat the experiment. "Dat ar acid killed everv 
 chicken on de place, an' Fdoan want no bones in my chicken yards." 
 
 Sparerib Jackson had bought some bone [meal at a fertilizer 
 establishment and fed his White Plymouth Rocks to develop their 
 
99 
 
 plumage, but the bone meal turned the feathers all yellow. He did 
 not take any stock in the bone feed hobby. 
 
 Whetstone Jonson knew bone meal affected the plumage. He 
 bought some Black Langshan eggs once and every chick that 
 hatched was white and speckled. Not a black chicken ever grew 
 up out of the lot. He believed the man who sent him the eggs 
 must have fedhis hens on bone'meal. 
 
 Persimmon Green had the same experience. He bought a setting 
 of Silver Hamburg eggs from a big breeder, and every egg hatched 
 a Muscovy duck. He thought bone feeding at the bottom of the 
 whole thing. 
 
 During the discussion Uncle Rastus chewed his tobacco leisurely, 
 while an occasional broad grin mantled his classic features. When 
 Brer Green concluded he adjusted his glasses, mopped his face with 
 his red bandana, and astjed : 
 
 "Am yo' all froo wid de argyments ? " 
 
 There being do response, he continued : / 
 
 " De bone feedin' business am s'ceptible ob tons oh argyment. 
 Hit am a hard subject ter crack. Ise nebber fed any bones, kase I 
 doan buy meat wid de bone in. Ef dar's one fing in dis wo'ld to 
 rob de po' man, an' filch his hard airnin'sfrom him, hit am buyin' 
 six poun' er meat an' gittin' five poun' er bone. Why, de back 
 ya'ds ob some er de niggei's on Possum Creek am filled wid ole 
 bones, while dar fambly's am er starvin' fo' meat. An' dey doan 
 keep no chickens to eat up,de bon'es, nudder. Ef. dey could turn 
 
100 
 
 de bones inter nice fat pullets, dar might be some use in buyin' 
 bones. 
 
 " Brer Blossom am de only member ob dis Club dat's had luck 
 wid bone feedin'. An' he's eider de bigges' liar er de bigges' fool 
 in Georgy, cordin' to what he done tole us. Ef he kin make hens lay 
 free eggs er day wid bone feedin,' he's got er.gole mine, ef he 
 know hit. ' 'Spose he got a thousan' hens an' git free eggs er day 
 from each hen. Dat's 3,000 eggs — 250 dozen — an' de way eggs 
 am er sellin' now, 30 cents er dozen, would brung Brer Blossom 
 $50 er day ! Dat's mo' dan he's makin' now in two months white- 
 washin.' Don't spar' de hens. Ef yo' kin make big money wid 
 feedin' bones to yo' hens, go on wid hit ef hit strains de hens to 
 deff. Yo' kin buy mo' hens any time." 
 
 "DeSec'tary will record de doins ob dis meetiu' entire, wid de 
 'ception ob Brer Blossom's fairy story 'bout de big egg yield on. 
 bono feed. Dat hatter be 'vestigated, an' I 'pint Brer Wheeler, 
 Brer Green, an' Huckelberry White er committy to talk wid Mrs. 
 Blossom on de subject. Ef she say de story am true, dis Club 
 gwinter buy sixteen tons er bone an' gwine inter de egg business on 
 er grand scale. 
 
 " We will now put de lights out an' hurry home to de bossoms 
 ob our famblys." 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 THE CLUB CONSIDERS A PROPOSITION FROM CALIFORNIA 
 TO BUY OSTRICHES. 
 
 " De sec'fcary lies handed tne a letter from Californy," began the 
 President, after the regular order of business had been transacted, 
 " which reads as follers : » 
 
 Rocky Ridge, Calipoknia, March 17, 1895. 
 To the President of the Possum Creek Poultry Chih : ' 
 
 Deae Sir. — Having a lot of Ostriches to dispose of, and hearing that your 
 honorable Club intended going into the Ostricli business (Now who done tole 
 dat ar lie?) I write to offer you cut rates on the lot we have for sale. Your 
 Club is well known in California (Now heah dat. Dis Club am well known in 
 Californy) and therefore I write you. We have 100 pairs, of fine Ostriches 
 which we will sell you at $850 a pair, which is dirt cheap. We believe you 
 could use the 200 birds easily. When you once get the Ostrich industry 
 started in Georgia, it will go booming. There's millions in it. You can make 
 barrels of money. An Ostrich lays all the way from 365 eggs to 575 per year. 
 And, when you figure these eggs at f200 each, yoii can see there is big 
 money in the eggs alone. Then the feathers, for plumes, will be worth half a 
 million more. We have made all the money we care about in the Ostrich 
 business, and want to give your Club a chance, as we have barrels of twenty 
 dollar gold pieces stacked up in the cellar going to waste, and all made in the 
 Ostrich business as before said. Georgia would be a good place for Ostriches 
 and if your Club will take hold of these birds with their usual grip, success is 
 just certain. It costs nothing to feed Ostriches. Turn them out on a piece 
 
102 
 
 of stony land and they will get rolling fat without any other feed . If you 
 have any old tin cans, old boots or shoes, old nails, scrap iron, glass bottles, 
 sawdust, railroad spikes, and the like, so much the better, as these things are 
 pie and cake to Ostriches. So you see, they are all profit and no expense. 
 Let us hear from you at once. No risk in buying this stock, which we can 
 ship C. O. D. at any time. We repeat, there's millions in it. We make yon 
 the first offer." 
 
 Very truly yc»urs, 
 
 KETCHEM & SCALPEM. 
 
 Huckelberry White rose to his feet and moved that the Ostriches 
 be purchased at once, and Rhubarb Smith seconded the motion 
 with a rush. Limestone Wheeler and Sandy Rustler also faVored 
 the purchase. In factj the whole Club was enthusiastically in favor 
 of getting the Ostriches before some one else stepped in ahead. 
 
 " Brer White, hes yo' hed any 'sperience with Ostriches ?" asked 
 the President. Brer White said that';he had not. "Is deyany mem- 
 ber ob dis Club dat's been in the Ostrich bizness ? Am dey any 
 member ob dis Club dat would know an Ostrich ef dey meet np wid 
 hit in de road? " asked Uncle Rastus, quizically. But there was no 
 answer. 
 
 " Las' week," he continued, "I done got two letters froo de 
 mail. One ob de letters say datef I wants to make er millyun dol- 
 lars, dat I mus' sen' $250 to New Yo'k and a pusson dar am 
 gwineter sen' me a -millyun dollars in new greenbacks: He sed 
 dat he knows Ise a prominent man an' dat he jes gib me dat 
 millyun dollars fo my 'fluence. Nice folkses in New Yo'k, shuah. 
 De odder letter say dat ef I sen' $100 an' let the man 'vest dat in 
 
103 
 
 .bon's an' stocks an' fiiigs fo' me, dat Ise gwineter make annuder 
 millyun. All I got ter do is .ter sen' de $100 in cash, an' de 
 millyun am comin' sho'tly." 
 
 "Kernel Shockley was bene de odder day an' done tole yo' all 
 how to hiake a millyan in de duck bizness, an' yo' all gwineter go 
 inter de bizness wid er whoop. An' now yo' all am crazy to go 
 inter de Ostrich bizness., Weneber a man finks dat he gwineter 
 make a millyun widout vvo'k er stealin' hit, he am bartln' up ae 
 tree whar dey haint no possum. Befo' we buys dem Ostriches Ise 
 gwineter 'quire 'bout de bizness. Fur de -present, yo' all better 
 stick ter whitewashin' an' drayin'. Deys mo' money in er white- 
 wash bresh er a dray, dan in duck fa'ms an' Ostrich fa'ms on 
 paper." 
 
 "De sec'tary am 'sbructed to write to di ,Oaliforay folk; 'an 
 tell dem dat we's considerin' de Ostrich question, an' dat ef j we 
 'elude to took de birds we'll send er check Eo' d.j mgney 0. 0. D.' 
 
POINTERS FROM POSSUM CREEK. 
 
 BY UNCLE RASTUS. 
 
 In de springtime, we'n de birds am er singin' in de trees. 
 An' de flowers am er bloomin' an' de bu^in' er de bees. 
 An' de tree frog an' de rain-crow am er makin' noise, why, den, 
 Dat's de time ter 'mence de bisneas wid de settin' er de hen. 
 
 In de summer, w'en de hotness make de co'n an' cotton grow. 
 An' de niggers am er wo'kin wid de ole mule an' de hoe, 
 Dat's de time ter watch de chickens, like cats does watch de mice, 
 Dats de time ter keep a humpin' atter pesky mites an' lice. 
 
 De airly wo'm oiighter lay abed longer, den hit haint gwinter be 
 caught by the airly chicken. 
 
 De Bible ses dat de rain faJl on de just an' de onjast. But how 
 is it wid de man dat go fishin' Sunday ? 
 
 Money make de hoss go. Dat's zaotly so, an' a man hatter hab 
 money to make de chicken bisness go, too. 
 
105 
 
 Dat WU8 a wise man dat said, " de man dat goes gunnin' fo' 
 frauds should be careful not ter shoot hissef." "" 
 
 Ise mighty glad de fool killer didn't <;um my way w'en I fust 
 went inter de chicken raisin' bisness. I knowed a heap mo' 'bout 
 chickens den dan I does now. An' my boy he know mo' 'bout . 
 chickens now dan his ole daddy. 
 
 De man dat's huntin' fo' de good p'ints -in his brudder man to 
 write erbout, deserve de bigges' kind er success, an' a house full ob 
 nice chil'ens. 
 
 Sam Jones say dat hell am full ob women dat speri' dar time 
 shoppin'.' Dat scar my ole woman, an' she say she gwineter make 
 me do de shoppin' after dis. 
 
 A man in Ohattanoogy writes to ask me ef Belgum Hares can be 
 made to weigh ober 150 pounds. Ise seed fools dat weigh mo' dan 
 dat. De mo' some men know erbout some fings, de mo' dey doan 
 fin' outer bout odder fings. 
 
106 
 
 By de way,'i,I clone got some ob dem Hares. An' one ob dem 
 sma't niggers stop at de fence an' ax me ;what I take fo* dat young 
 jackass. ' De ole woman she laugh twell de flah company ruu aown 
 wid de engine, finkin' de house was afiah. Hit made me sorter 
 smile, too. 
 
 I notice, Iioweber, dat many men am always huntin' fo' de bad 
 p'ints in er man to fin' fault wid, jas like de woman dat kaint see 
 de good p'ints in he' neighbors, but am pickin' an' picki"' de 
 frayed [edges ob dar natures. All ob us has our weak p'ints. 
 ]?Tone of us am gwineter sco' mo' dan 'bout 98 p'ints. 
 
 Darfs toy boy, Ed, sma't like his dad, an' all dat, but when hit 
 cum to wo'k, he doan sco' at all. I ax him ef he"done fed de 
 chickens, an' he say yes^ Atter whiles I looks at de chickens, an' 
 bress yon' soul, day haint got no feed, an' day boy done gwine off 
 fishin'. And' dat's why I say dat de man dat raise fine fowls mas' 
 tend dem hissef,'er he gwineter get lef. 
 
 De Chattanoogy m-jji dat bought fifteen Lansham eggs ob me" an' 
 den writ me ilat he only got thirteen chickens an' wanted me to 
 to sen' him two mo' eggs, er two mo' chickens, will be guven a 
 
107 
 
 shampain supper ef he will jes cum to Atlanta aa' present his oa'd 
 at my ^brown stone front mansion ^on Possum Creek. I likej to 
 make dat man's 'quaintance. I do dat. 
 
 Deacon Jones fiuks dat de sma't folkses haint all gwineter be 
 bo'n in Georgy. Mebbe not. But ef de good oie Oeacon will jes 
 come down an' take a look ^t ie fowlg ''iibbitted by de Possum 
 Creek Poultry Club at its next show, de deacon will reach "de 
 'elusion widout de aid ob er micerscope, dat all de sma't fowls haint 
 gwineter be bo'n in de Norf . He will also fin' out 'dat de lager 
 beer an' bretzels ob de Georgy breed am ob de finest strain m de 
 Ian'. Um, urn, um'! Come down deacon, an' eat sweet taters and 
 possum wid me. ' 
 
 A Knoxville man write to know how much longer hit take ducks 
 eggs to hatch under de duck dan under de inkybator ? Ef dat man 
 will send in his name wid^a hundred dollah bill fo' 'nitiation fee 
 into de Possum Creek Poulti-y Club, he ; will learn all _^out de 
 inkybator' bisness an'^de duck bisness ".widout] writin' letters to 
 de papers er to gemmen dat aims d'^r libin' in de whitewashin' bis- 
 ness. 
 
 Clem Jonson writ a piece fo' de "Poultry Bugle" 'bout how to 
 run g, inkybater. I lib next do' to Clem, an' I declar dat he nebber 
 
108 
 
 had a inkybator in his 'life. An' mo' dan dat, he nebber seed an 
 inkybator. We'en I taxed him wid layin', he put up de 'scuse dat 
 he read 'bout de inkybator in a paper, an' he wanted to norate de 
 news to de public. I tole him dat white men didn't do nuffin like 
 dat. Dey all write 'bout inkybators an' chickens from 'sperience. 
 
 Some ob de members ob de Possum Creek Poultry Club, dat hab 
 " jedge " hitched onto dar names, am or wearin' dimuns an' puttin' 
 on mo' stile dan a flghtin' cock. An' dese fellers nebber raised a 
 chicken in dar lives, onless dey raisd hit offen somebody's hen roos.' 
 Dat a nice kine er a jedge, haint hit? De man dat gwineter jedge 
 chickens mus' raise some hisself, an' know de wharfo's an' de why's, 
 er he'haint fitten fo' de bisness. 
 
 De bigges' fool in the country kin take a- sco' kyard an ma'k 
 off a pint or so heah, an' a pint er so deh. Wid some ob de Jedges 
 hit am guess wp'k, hit or miss, an' dey mos'n gen'ally miss. De 
 jedge wid 'sperience in raisin' chickens, kin tell de good ones. 
 Now, dar's Jedge Howcome. He fix up de sco' kyards afo' he go 
 to de show, an' he fin's de chickens to fit de kyard. Ef he doan 
 tin' dem, he fit de kyard to de chickens. De jedge haint in de 
 chicken bisness hisself, an' nebber owned a chicken dat I knows ob. 
 Ef de jedge doan git mo' 'sperience, everybody gwine inter de 
 Dec'mal cumparisum 'sociation. 
 
109 
 
 Hit makes me tired, hit do, ter hear de pollyticians howliu' all 
 de time 'bout "hones' money," a "soun' Jnoney," a "safeiiioney," 
 an' all dat kine er stuff. De bes' money am de kine er money dat 
 yo' all got ia yo' pocket. De kine of money dat de guv'ment puts 
 hits-stamp on, wedder hit am> silver, copper er gole, am er soun' 
 money. Mister Coin am de man fo' dem gole bugs to rassle vvid. 
 He kin uptrip dem ebery time. De Possum Creek Poultry Club 
 resoluted unanimously to stan' by Mister Coin in dis fight,' an' we's 
 gwineter do hit. Yes, we is. Hit tickle de ole man mightily to 
 say dat day am not a single gole bag in. de Club. Ef dey wus, he'd 
 be disqualified an' get no sco' kyard. 
 
 De sec'tary ob de, New Yo'k Poultry 'sociation writes ter know 
 my cha'ge to cum dar next winter an' sco' de chickens by de com- 
 parison sco' kyard. Mighty sorry dat I kaint 'bleege de gemmeu, 
 but bisness am er ru^hin' at home. Yo' Uncle got his ban's full, 
 honey, dat he has. Wid whitewashin', tendin' ter fifteen breeds er 
 chickens, actin' as pres'dent ob de Possum vCreek Poultry Club, 
 judgin' roun' at de doc'mal show, holdin' de sponsible ofBs ob jus- 
 tice ob de peace, alderman ob de Fifth Wa'd, umpire ob de Pos- 
 Oreek base ball club, superintendent ob de Mef'dist Sunday school, 
 leader ob de Bible class meetin', an' seberrl odder fings, took all 
 my time, 'ceptin' w'en I goes fishih'. 
 
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