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FUNERAL DISCOURSE. 
 
 Occafioned by the much lamented 
 
 DEATH of Mr. T 0 R I C K, 
 
 Prebendary of T - - k 
 
 find 
 
 Author of the much admired LIFE and OPIIIIONS 
 of TRISTRAM SHJNDT, 
 
 P RE AC HED 
 before a very mixed 
 
 Society ^Jemmies, Jessamiis, 
 
 Methodifts and Chriftians, 
 
 AT 
 
 A NOCTURNAL MEETING 
 
 in Petticoat Lan*, 
 and now publlfliad 
 
 at the unanimous Requeji of the Hearers 
 
 E Y 
 
 CHRISTOPHER FLAGELLAN, a. m. 
 
 and enriched with the 
 Notes of various Commentators, 
 
 Amhuhaiartm Collegia, Pbarmacopola 
 Mendici, Mitnee, Balatrores, hoc genus amne 
 Meef.unt ac foUiciiur/i efi Dc&oris mrte TigelU. 
 
 Koeat. Sat. II. L, I, 2. j. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for W. Nicoll in St. Pauls Church Yard, 
 M D G C L X I. 
 
Tr.1^.' 
 
 F5'r4r 
 
 P’.Tst) 
 
 Advertifement. 
 
 Whereas it has been maliciouHy, or rather 
 fiiipidly reported, that the late Mr. St—e, 
 alias Yorick, is net dead, but that, on the 
 contrary, ke is writing a Fifth and Sixth, and 
 has carried his Flan as far as a Fiftieth and 
 Sixtieth Volume of the Book, called The Life 
 and Opinions of Triftram Shandy ; This is to 
 give hiotice, to all whom it 7nay or may not con- 
 cern, that this F.eport is cbfurd, improbable ^ 
 falfe and groundlefs, as will evidently appear to 
 Juch as read, with any degree of attention, the 
 following Difeourfe. — If, therefore, fuch 
 Fifth and Sixth, or Fiftieth and Sixtieth pre- 
 tended Volumes of the afore faid Book fr.ould ap- 
 pear in the Shop of any Bookjeller or Bookfellers, 
 the F lib lick may be affured, that they are not. 
 the produBion of the late Mr. Sx— e, but 
 are rather to be attributed to his Ghafily Ghoft, 
 which is faid to Avalk in the Purlieus of Covent- 
 Garden and Drury-Lane. jUnd the faid Pu- 
 blic k is moreover int rented to fet on foot a pro- 
 fecuticn of fuch BookfcUer or Bookfellers for 
 thus canying on an intercourfe and correfpon- 
 dence with Evil Spirits. ' 
 
Dedication. 
 
 To the Right Honour able] 
 
 The Lord F — g 
 
 and 
 
 to the 'very Facetiom 
 
 Mr. Foote. 
 
 My Lord and — Sir, 
 
 T Le Poors capt put upon Socra- 
 tes, did not appear more in- 
 congruous and ill-placed, than the 
 Dedication.^ of the Life and Opinions 
 of Trifiram Shandy.^ which was im- 
 pofed upon his Anti-type William 
 Pitt, Efar. To avoid therefore an 
 impropriety of this nature, and to put 
 
 it 
 
it out of any malevolent Critick’s 
 power to fay to me, 
 
 — pergis pugjianlia fecum 
 
 Frontibus adverjis componere^ 
 
 Horace. 
 
 I have taken the Liberty, My Lord 
 and — Sir, to lay at your feet the 
 following Tragi-comical Effuhons of 
 a heart which is affected, as it ought to 
 be, by the death and annihilation of 
 the late Mr. St — e, alias Torick, 
 If you fliould inquire into the parti- 
 cular reafon of this Dedication, I hope 
 your curiofity will be fatished, when 
 I tell you, that it is entirely owing to 
 the protedion which this Emimizt Di- 
 vme received from the Peer, and the 
 refemblance he bore to theCoMEDiAN. 
 
 I am, My Lord and, — Sir, 
 
 Tour mop humhk ar.d obedient 
 Servant, 
 
 CHRISTOPHER FLAGELLAN. 
 
A fecond, but fhort Advertifement. 
 
 7he Notes, that are Printed with the 
 following Difcoiirfe, were compofed by the 
 learned Friends of Mr. Flagellan, 
 who perufed it in Manufcript. The Editor 
 has publijhed at the End of Each Note, the 
 name of the Critick to whom the Publick 
 is indebted for it. The References and Ci- 
 tations are owing to the labour of Mr, Fla- 
 G ELL AN himfelf. 
 
t 
 
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The Text is to be found in the 
 £rh: Volume of the Gofpel of 
 .the J emmies, otherwife called 
 the Life and opinions of Triftram 
 Shandy, at thefe words: 
 
 ALASS POOR YORICK! 
 
 My Brethren, 
 
 A certain curate in the famous city 
 of Paris, being appointed to preach 
 the Funeral Sermon of this Metro- 
 politan, began his difcourfe in the 
 following manner : “ dearly beloved brethren 
 “ and fellow chrifiians (faid he fetching a heavy 
 “ figh from the very bottom of his heart) 
 “ there are but two things that ernbarafs me at 
 “ this time in the place where I Jland, and that 
 “ render difficult the tajk 1 have undertaken, 
 “ The firft of thefe is the Life of his grace, 
 “ and the fecond his Death. His manner of 
 “ living and his manner of dying are the only ob-- 
 “ jedlions that can be brought againjl his cha- 
 “ radler, and were it not for thefe two crofs, 
 though trifling circumfiances, nothing would 
 have been wanting to render my panegyrick 
 B 
 
 com* 
 
( 2 ) 
 
 ** compleat** To prevent my falling into the 
 perplexity of this fimple curate I fhall throw” 
 a veil over the life of the mortal author of 
 Jrijlram Shandy^ fincc the bell way of con- 
 quering difficulties, as well as temptations is 
 by avoiding them. V/ere we to enter into a 
 ^ detail of the adtions, incidents, events, circum- 
 ftances, exploits, difappointments, intrigues, 
 attempts, plans, affairs, and tricks that make 
 up the motley tablature of his life, (a) both 
 their nature and their number would entirely 
 overpower us, and it would be difficult for us 
 to know, where we ffiould begin or where we 
 ihould end the whimfical ftory. But it is his 
 death, that we propofe as the gloomy fubjeft 
 of our prefent meditations. If, however, my 
 dear brethren, you defire to have fome faint 
 notion of this man, you will find a fmall 
 fketch of his origin^ and charaBer in a certain ^ 
 
 (a) \x. has been too often the failing of orators to 
 facrifice, what may be called, ftrift and rigorous truth 
 to the harmony and cadence of their periods. Mr. Fla- 
 GELLAN feems to have run a little Into this defeff, to 
 render his ennumeration, (a very powerful trope In ora- 
 tory !) more llrlking. The life of Yorick was not fo 
 Variegated as he feems to imagine, libhaldim Maximus. 
 
 repofi’ 
 
( 3 ; 
 
 repofitory of literary intelligence, which is 
 well known and juftly efleemed. Thefe lite~ 
 rati tell us that this author was a fon of Co- 
 nrns-, (b) which mull be underftood undoubt- 
 edly, in a figurative and allegorical fenfe, be- 
 caufe it is well known, thatT<?nV^, alias St — n, 
 was born of chriftian parents, however ftrong- 
 Jy appearances may feem to infinuate the 
 contrary. When therefore, his admirers call 
 him a fon of Comus, they probably mean no 
 more than this, that he was a lover of his 
 belly, his ^bottle, and his joke, and was no 
 enemy to nodlurnal dancing, (c) which latter 
 circumftance appears probable enough from 
 his ftory of the old-clock. When Dodlor Yo- 
 RicK publifhed his fermons, the learned pane- 
 gyrifts, now mentioned, Ihouted for joy and 
 exprefled themfelves upon the occafion in the 
 following manner. It is with pleafure we be- 
 hold this Son of Com us (i. e. the Reverend 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 (h) Seethe Critical Review Vol, IX. No. 52. 
 fcj See Fabri Thefaurus, at the word Comus, Po- 
 SiEY’s Pantheon, YLitiG's mythology. Bower’s Hijlory oj tht 
 Popes, and Echaru’s caujes of the contempt of the clergy. 
 
 B 2 Doftor, 
 
( 4 ) 
 
 Do6lor, whofe death we lament) defceniing 
 from the chair of mirth and frolick^ to infpire 
 fentiments of fiety, and read lehlures of morality 
 to that very audience^ whofe hearts he had capti- 
 vated with good nature d wit and facetious hu- 
 mour, (d) This very remarkable paffage, my 
 brethren, occafioned fome miftakes. It led 
 many people to imagine that our Yorick was 
 by profejfton a buffoon or a comick ador, and 
 that he had once on a time condefcended to 
 put on a grave face, and to pen a fermon in 
 place of a farce, they imagined that the chair 
 of mirth and frolick was his ufual refidence, (e) 
 and that he had mounted the pulpit, to afto- 
 nifh as well as to edify the audience, which he 
 had diverted on the theatre. This notion how- 
 ever fpecious, nay true in feveral refpeds, is 
 yet upon the whole falfe and groundlefs, for 
 it is well known, that Yorick was a preacher 
 metamorphofed into a buffoon, and not a 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 (^) See the Critical Review, Vol. IX. No. 52. 
 for May 1760. 
 
 (e) And fo it was, fays the learned and comical Fun- 
 K.IGIUS in his facetious Hiftory of the nature, origin 
 and decline of Bardemy Fair. 
 
 buffoon 
 
( 5 ) 
 
 buffoon converted into a preacher. ( f) The 
 fame panegy rifts give feveral other hints con- 
 cerning this jovial and frolickfome fuccejjor of 
 the Apojiles^ which may contribute to give 
 fome idea of his life, though that, indeed, is 
 fufficiently known. But we repeat it again, 
 it is his death that muft occupy our thoughts 
 at prefent, and this will afford matter enough 
 for this difcourfe. 
 
 (/ ) There is here an evident miftake in Mr. Flagel- 
 la n’s ftory of the cafe. For nature had made Yorick A 
 buffoon before the pious and ardent hope of a fat living 
 had transformed him Into a clergyman. This feigned 
 charafler, as is well known, fat very 111 upon him, lo that 
 even in his very fermons every one could dlfcern the 
 marks of a ftrong propenfity to fall back Into his natural 
 bent. At laft he fell plump into the bofom of nature 
 and declared his jovial relapfe to the world by publlftiing 
 the Life and Opinions of frijiram Shandy. Whether he 
 was then a clergyman converted into a buffoon, or ra- 
 ther remained both one and the other, Is a quefHon that 
 mufl: de decided in the affirmative or negative according 
 to the definition we give of the term clergyman. As Mr. 
 Flagellan has refolved this queftion in another part 
 of this difcourfe, we ffiall refer the reader to his obfer- 
 vations. 
 
 To 
 
( 6 ) 
 
 To proceed then with order in treating this 
 unparelleled fubjefl we fhall, in the ift. place 
 prove, dont be furprized gentle reader, that 
 the Rev. JDr. Torick alias St — n, is dead, yea 
 dead. 2dly. we (hall conlider this lamentable 
 event with refpedl to thofe focieties or indivi- 
 duals to whom it is a moft afFefting and irre- 
 parable lofs, 3dly. we Ihall anfwer the various 
 objedlions that have been mouthed and hand- 
 ed about againft the deceafed, and fhall con- 
 clude with an imp'oper application of the 
 whole. 
 
 I Firft then I am to prove that the Reve- 
 rend Dr. Yorrick, is — ah ! what do 1 
 fay ! — dead j dead indeed ? — yea, dead. — 
 Some fingular circumftances of this fatal' exit 
 will alfo come naturally under this firfl: head. 
 
 The deplorable and ever to be lamented 
 
 death of Dr. Yorrick. IVhy, Sir^ 
 
 (will fome of my cavilling hearers fay within 
 themfelves) the man is JHll alive. Patience, 
 gentle hearer, whoever though- art that indul- 
 geft this unbelieving thought, patience for a 
 
 moment, ^pray what do you call life ? you 
 
 will perhaps anfwer, that every body knows 
 
 what 
 
< 7 ) 
 
 what life is ; but I am very far from being of 
 that opinion. You will fay, that life\% a cer- ' 
 
 tain ftate of that, in fhort, it is to be 
 
 alive^ and that you faw Dr. Yorrick in the 
 tavern yefterday with his wig under the table, 
 drinking in a fparkling brimmer the hejt in 
 Chriftendom. We grant the fad ; we only al- 
 Jedge that it does not give any force to your 
 objedionj for had you feen him moving, eat- 
 ing, drinking, digefting, and evacuating, this 
 would not, taken altogether, amount to & 
 proof that he was alive. Did you never hear 
 of the famous duck of the ingenious Vaucanfon^ 
 which performed all thefe animal fundions 
 with the greateft facility and precifion, and 
 yet — was no more than a piece of wood curi- 
 oufly wrought, according to mechanical prin- 
 ciples, by that admirable artift. — But that 
 you may not look upon this as a mere evafion 
 let us enter more deeply into the matter ; for 
 we live in a ftrange fceptical age, in which the 
 plained truths are called in queftion, and felf- 
 cvident proportions are looked upon as pro- 
 blematical. One denies the exiftence of mo- 
 tion, another that of matter, and a third that 
 
 of 
 
( 8 ) 
 
 of fpirit. A famous Scotch phllofopher, who 
 has for many years paft, been blowing v/ith 
 great felf-compiacence, pretty, glittering, daz* 
 zling bubbles of metaphyfick into the atmof- 
 phere of fcience, has denied the connexion 
 between caufe and (g) and even called 
 
 in queftion the exiftence of bot^y znd fpiril. {h) 
 It will not then be wondered that, in this dif- 
 coitrfe, I fet myfelf to prove fuch an evident 
 and palpable truth as the death of poor 2'orick, 
 and if I am obliged to be more learned and 
 logical upon this point, than is ufual in fer- 
 mons, the fault muft be charged upon the in- 
 credulity and fcepticifm of the times. 
 
 To remove at the fame time all fubjedt of 
 chicane; I fhall explain, ift. what I do not 
 mean and zdly, what I do mean when I fay 
 that Dr. Yorrick is dead. — 
 
 ^ 0 T E S. 
 
 ( g ) See the elTay upon power in a certain bundle of 
 intricacies entitled Philojoikical ejfayt upon human undsr- 
 panding. 
 
 ( -6 ) See a treatife upon human nature by the lame au- 
 thor in 2 large volumes 8yo. which have been little read 
 and lefs underltood. 
 
 Firft 
 
( 9 ) 
 
 Firft then negatively, when I fay that Yorick 
 is dead, I do not mean, that he is yet fo far 
 dead as to be in the cafe required by the will 
 of a late teftator whofe effeds were to be tranf- 
 mitted to a fecond heir when the firft was 
 hreathlefs, rotten, and damned. ( z ) I do noc 
 even pretend to fay that our deceafed Do<5lor 
 ought to be buryed in any other grave than 
 that of oblivion, where he now lies low*, for 
 were his body laid fix foot under ground, the 
 fons of Themis might pronounce, that he was 
 buried alive. — What I mean then adly, and 
 jyofitively, is, that of the two principal kinds 
 of life diftinguifhed by the epithets of animal 
 'rand fpiritual, or (to fpeak more philofophi- 
 cally) brutal and intelleSiual, the former alone 
 is poftefied by Yorick, in vvhom xht animal 
 lives, while the man is dead. Perhaps, dearly 
 beloved, you may here again deceive your- 
 felves and imagine I mean, that Yorick is 
 dead in trefpaftes and fins. No, no, that is 
 not my meaning ; for were this true in fadl, 
 it is the cafe of many, as well as of him, and 
 
 { / ) See the Daily Advirtiftr. 
 
 C this 
 
( 10 ) 
 
 this clrcumftance alone would not furni/h a 
 fulEcient pretext for preaching, with fo much 
 folemnity, his funeral fermon. That is but a 
 mere moral deaths which, in the opinion of 
 our times, does not hinder a man from ap- 
 pearing found, lively, and well, or from be- 
 ing efteemed a good citizen, a good compa- 
 nion, a good friend, a good author, a good 
 minifter, a good bifhop, a good methodift, 
 a good every thing, in fhort, but a good 
 chriftian, which laft charadlcr has long ceafed 
 to be an obje6t of private ambition or pub- 
 lick efteem. Befides, it has been conjectured 
 by fome deep thinkers, that the moral part of 
 Yo rick’s foul was Jiill-born^ ( k) and that he 
 never enjoyed any kind of life, but the animal 
 and intelkbliial. Now if this be the cafe, he 
 cannot be dead in trefpalTes or fins or morally 
 dead, for to fuppofe a man morally dead, im- 
 
 {k) See a difeourfe formerly publiHied by the learned 
 and pious Dr. S E c k e r, (now Lord Arch-Billiop of 
 C^ntQxhux'j) de Partu Dij^icili. See alfo, Epapkroditvs 
 Bulfinger de Generaliene ^uimorum Lib yi. Cap. 89. 
 
 plies 
 
( It ) 
 
 piles evidently that he was once morally 
 alive. (/) It is at lead, certain that his fa- 
 ther, who was a good man, intended that 
 his fon fhould be a chriftian and even de~ 
 figned him for a ghoftiy profefilon ; With 
 this view he brought him to church to have 
 him received into the congregation of the 
 faithful. But — O ! marvellous and omi- 
 nous event ! the wayward infant, after the 
 example of the Emperor Constantine 
 CopRONYMUs eafed himfelf in the baptifmal 
 fount, which was looked upon as a prefagc 
 of his future contempt of religion and mo- 
 rality, and was interpreted as if he had faid 
 a f — for both. 
 
 To return then to our fubjedt (for peace 
 to the departed fpirit of Yorjck he has 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 ( 1) Dr. Flagellan feems to reafon here much 
 in the manner of the late excellent Dr. Sherlock 
 Billiop of London. Every one will not underftand 
 tills note. 
 
 C 2 
 
 much 
 
( ) 
 
 much Infccbed us v/ith the itch of digrcfli- 
 ons) we lament the death ofYoRicK’s better 
 part, 'that part which was the vehicle of 
 judgment and wi:. That iKn part was not 
 jiill-horn is manifefc from the excellent fer- 
 mons that appeared to the world under his 
 name, and that it is now totally dead ap- 
 pears as evidently from the Book entitled, 
 the Life and opinions of Trijlram Shandy, and 
 more efpecially from the III and IV Vo- 
 lumes, we may fay the lafi of that wonder- 
 ful performance. In the two firft Volumes 
 of this work, Yorick appeared fick and 
 declining, yet certain fparks of intelle<5lual 
 fire flew out here and there, which prevent- 
 ed our looking upon his wit, as utterly eva- 
 porated ; nay, there Teemed to be fome 
 hopes of its recovery, notwithftanding the 
 long fits of abfence, perplexity and delirium 
 into which it had fallen. But no fooner did 
 the two laid Volumes appear, than all the 
 fens of drollery yawned over the witlefs, 
 fenfelefs, lifeiefs page, and ftriking their 
 
( 13 ) 
 
 penfive bofoms, faid wichin themfelves, Yo- 
 RICK is no more what he was, and of his 
 recovery there is no hope. They faw his 
 wit labouring, tugging, ftriving for life, 
 but all to no purpofe. They faw it finking 
 under every effort to keep it alive, and ob- 
 ferved that the Hiftory of Nofes or Slaw- 
 KENBERGius’s tak inftead of raifing it 
 above the water, made it fink much deeper, 
 and prefented to the reader the mofl amaz- 
 ing, unintelligible jumble of words, that 
 perhaps has been penned or pronounced 
 either in ancient or modern times. They 
 lamented the total extineflion of poor Yo- 
 RICKS judgment and the abfolute annihila- 
 tion of his wit, fucceeded by dreadful fits 
 of raving in which he evacuated many in- 
 coherent and obfeure words and fentences. 
 Thefe fentences multiplied prodigioufly the 
 number of head achs among the good peo- 
 ple of England , who drained the fibres 
 of their anxious brains to find wit among 
 the excrements of a dying genius. 
 
 Yorick 
 
( 14 ) 
 
 Y 0 R I c K, himfclf, perceived the ap- 
 proaching end of his intellects ; yet from 
 the eager third of fame that confumed 
 him, he endeavoured to conceal the mat- 
 ter. He called about him in his laft mo- 
 ments his friends and intimates, and ad- 
 drefled to them the following Difcourfe : 
 
 “ Jemmies^ Bucks ^ Peers, and Parfons. 
 " Hear the laft words of Poor Y o r i c k. 
 
 — You fee me here. Gentlemen, in a 
 ** moft pitiful plight, — in the condition 
 of one who made his court to fame, af- 
 pired after wit, and is now upon the 
 point of being abandoned by both. I 
 “ have been well informed, that the pu- 
 blick, which, you know, is a many- 
 headed, and confequently a fickle, Mon- 
 fter, has begun to turn its applaufe into 
 contempt, and my works having no lon- 
 ger the merit of novelty, nor the pcig- 
 nancy of wit, are like to meet with a vc • 
 
( '5 ) 
 
 ®* ry bad fate. This, I own, goes to my 
 
 heart. The hatred, of man I value not 
 
 “ — -but I cannot ftand firm againft con- 
 tempt. When an old-fafliioned fociety of 
 Monthly Criticks, ( n) who have undertak- 
 en to maintain the defperate caufe of 
 “ good fenfe, good writings and common 
 “ decency, attacked me with ferious re- 
 monftrances, andafierted that a Doctor of 
 “ Divinity made an abfurd figure in the 
 “ form of a harlequin and an obfcene buf> 
 foon, you know how lightly I treated that 
 admonition, and how little I was affe<S- 
 “ ed with the inconfiftency that there reai- 
 “ Jy was between my jocofe writings and 
 
 A 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 («) Dr. Yo R iCK means here the authors o£ 
 the Monthly Review, and alludes to their ad- 
 mirable extraft of his fermons. An extraft, ia 
 which fatire appeared with dignity, and In which, 
 alfo, the moft lively wit was employed in the fer- 
 vice of decency and virtue. Rofarius Pbitologicus 
 Pbilarelus, . ' 
 
 m 
 
( i6 ) 
 
 ** my ghoftly character. All this, howe^ 
 “ ver it might ruffle my jerkin^ did not 
 once touch the lining, (o) Thanks to 
 ** Comus and Bacchus, 1 am tolerably hard 
 within ; and as long as my animal fpi- 
 “ rits were in a glow, and their motions 
 “ were fupported by good eatirg^ with 
 “ mirth and jollity, I never minded what a 
 “ parcel of old, mufty, Cromwellian Di- 
 “ vines ufed to call the four lajl things, {p) 
 
 hi 0 T E S. 
 
 CO s ss p* I 5 and i6 of the III. Volume of 
 the much -forgotten book entitled Tke Life and 
 nions of Trijlram Shandy. 
 
 (p) As the Four taft things are not much known 
 in this age, it may not be improper to inform the 
 reader, that by them are meant death, judgment, 
 heaven and hell. Commentators are nor all agreed 
 concerning the reafon why they are called the fsur 
 lofl things. They muH undoubtedly be fo named, 
 either becaufe thej' are indeed the very lafi things 
 that People generally think of, or, becaufe, in the 
 order of time, they conclude the tranfitory drama 
 of this prefent life, Warhurtonius, 
 
 How 
 
( >7 ) 
 
 How long I may be proof agalnfl: th4l 
 clamours of fome bifliops, who, I atn 
 told, are Chriftians, and againft the re- 
 “ monftances of an inward monitor^ who 
 has not the courage to follow me thro’ 
 thick and thin^ I cannot tell. For if 
 ** contempt comes , 1 ihall be dejedied ; — 
 “ if I am dejedled, I fhall thinks and if I 
 “ think, my repofe is at an end. So, Gen- 
 “ tlemen, for G— d’s fake fave me from 
 “ contempt^ or elfe I am undone. — 
 
 You know what obligations you are un- 
 ** der to me, (here he began te fob and figh) 
 “ I have turned myfelf into all Ihapes to 
 “ procure you amufement, and to enable 
 “ you to kill the heavy moments. 1 have 
 joined together the moft jarring and he» 
 terogeneous forms to make you laugh, 
 
 “ I have converted my bufhy wig into a 
 “ fool's cap^ my venerable caflbek into a 
 “ pickle -herring’s particoloured veil ; I 
 “ have boxed the compafs of facetioufnefs 
 ^ and drollery to diftend your lungs and 
 “ chea^ your fpirits. I ftrained — — anc| 
 D. ftraia» 
 
( >8 ) 
 
 •* ftrsined all my brainftrings to forcer 
 
 wit from art, when nature refufed it. 
 “ I have incurred the indignation of all 
 ** good Christians 5 and afled as if religion 
 
 “ were a (pray filence within, impor- 
 
 tunatc monitor f ) I was faying — gen- 
 tiemen, that I have aded as if religion 
 “ was a farce to- gain your favour. I have 
 “ facrificed the gravity of my profefGon, 
 the demands of my minillry, the efteenr 
 of the v/ife {here he Jeemed to he feized witk 
 the grifes or •uoith fame internal paroxyfm that 
 produced a fimilar effehi^ even a dreadful vory 
 face^ whiebt added to the natural afperity of 
 his faturnine vifagOy made him grin horribly, 
 and conceal his agony in a ghaftly fmile) ta 
 “ prop — prop — propagate t.he reign of 
 
 mirth in your nodurnal focieties. — - 
 
 *• Mifcebam facra profanes. and after 
 
 “ all, notwithftanding how fafhionable it 
 is to be fcnfelefly profane, I fear contempt, 
 
 ** Contempt is going to purfue me 
 
 **• ' and the inward monitor tells me 
 
 “ I deferve it. Oh ! gentlemen and ladies 
 
 gua^d 
 
( >9 ) 
 
 ^ guard me againft contempt. 
 
 “ Contempt contempt - ( her^ 
 
 he began txi rave ) in Latin, cmtemptus — -- 
 ** in French, mepris ■ Stand off, thou 
 
 heart- dejeding fpedre Wl^erc 
 
 “ fhall I take refuge ? - ■ " — WhereJ 
 “ ah where ! In the walls of Namurt for- 
 tified by uncle Toby ! Ah ! — Slop— 
 
 “ avaunt who knows whether my 
 
 friend Foote will not abandon me— 
 ** take me off as ho has done Whitefield, 
 “ and thus exhibit to pit, box, and galle- 
 “ ries the two extremes of folly ! — . ,, 
 
 When our poor friend, my dear bre- 
 thren, had continued fometime in this wret- 
 ched ftate, he came to himfelf a little, and 
 one of his intimate companions afked him 
 v/hy he feared contempt fo much, fince his 
 book had been fo gracioully received by the 
 publick. Why, Yorick, faid he, was 
 ever book attended with fuch favourable 
 drcumftances as yours? It was dedicated 
 D 2 ' tcy 
 
( 20 ) 
 
 to a miniftef fijj, read by the clergy f'rj, 
 approved of by the wits (s), ftudyed by the 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 (j) It was, indeed, dedicated to the right and 
 truly honourable William Pitt Efq; The proprie- 
 ty of this dedication flruck the judicious part of man- 
 kind very much, and recalled to their remembrance 
 feveral very famous dedications, in which the fame 
 kind of aptitude and decorum reigned ; among o- 
 thers a treatife upon the fweets of arbitrary power 
 to Cato of Utica, a dlllertation upon the Grecian 
 Dance to Cato the Cenfor ; the pleafures of a fpiri- 
 tual feajl to the late arch-bllhop of Y - - k ; the 
 hidory of the Goths and Vandals to the Earl e^BuTE } 
 and to name but three more, Machiavtl's Prince to 
 his Majefty King George the third, an eflay upon 
 ■plain- dealing to the French miniflry, and a fenti- 
 mental difcourfe upon the pleafures of chajlity to 
 the emprefs of Ru/Jia, 
 
 (r) The late arch-bifhop of Y**k, Dr. G*****t of 
 leaden memory, ufed to fay, that he was fo delight- 
 ed with the life and opinions of Triftram Shandy, 
 that he read them once every fix weeki. Did he 
 preach as often ? No. Poppius Ficinus. 
 
 (s) A learned, or rather judicious critick imagines 
 that there is here an error of the prefs, and that in- 
 Sead of fflts, we muft read Witlings. Bentliculus. 
 
 nier» 
 
( 21 ) 
 
 merchants, ga2ed at by the ladies, ^nd was 
 become the pocket-eompanion of the na- 
 tion. Befides, it procured you a benefice (/), 
 and enriched Mr. Dodjley. 
 
 At the name of Dodjley, Yorick lifted 
 a feeble eye, refumed ftrength, recolleded 
 all his fire to exprefs his indignation, look- 
 ed aghafl; for fome moments — and uttered 
 in broken accents the words which follow : 
 
 “ Dodfiey --name fatal to Yorick --and 
 “ ominous to the Shandean race — Dodfley 
 “ has been my ruin. — It is to him 1 owe 
 my death — the approaching annihilation 
 of my thinking fubftance. It is owing 
 to him, that I "“am foon to be no more 
 than a niaterial mafs, moved by animal 
 ** fpirits, whofe fermentation will be called 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 (/') Yorkk’s friend is furely miftaken here, it Is 
 fcarcely poflible in the nature of things, that Yorick 
 Jhould have received a benefice as a recompenfe for the 
 book here under confideration. Otherwife we may 
 hope to fee Mr. Foote one day Arch-BIfliop of Can- 
 terbury. The queftlon is in whofe gift the benefice 
 was, aye, that indeed, is the queftion. See dedi^ 
 
 tation^ 
 
 life. 
 
( 22 ) 
 
 life, and accompanied with which 
 
 metaphyficians look upon as corporal. 
 ** Dodjlcy has been my ruin — he has forced 
 ** wit, which will not be forced, and has 
 cracked the firings of my intelled by 
 “ drawing them too violently. I gave 
 him two Volumes of pretty good fluff, 
 and the unexpeded fale of them made 
 ** him yawn after twenty. Twenty faid 
 “ I, — Mr. Dodjley — that cannot be.— It is 
 “ impoffible to hold out fo long in the 
 flrain, upon v/hich I began. It is too ex- 
 
 traordinary to be. No matter what flrain 
 
 you write in, replied the judicious look- 
 “ feller j it is now become the mode to ad- 
 mire you — the giddy part of the nation 
 “ are your zealous patrons, and the public 
 voice is in your favour; — therefore whac- 
 ever you difgorge, were your produ<5lions 
 “ nothing more than the wretched crudi* 
 ** ties of a diflurbed brain, they will be fvval- 
 lowed with avidity, provided — nye,faid 
 I, 1 underfland you, provided they be 
 larded with a little bawdy, nicely gawzed 
 ‘f over, and feafoned with a proper mix- 
 
 “ cure 
 
( 23 ) 
 
 ttire oF impiety and profanenefs.— 
 
 « That is not all, Sir, — replied the mail’ 
 “ midwife of the republick of Itilers, I add 
 “ another provifo, that you continue to fol- 
 “ low a rule, which you have tolerably weli 
 “ obferved in yo\ir two firft volumes. That 
 rule is, that when wit does not flow, you 
 ** muft become unintelligible rather than con- 
 tinue injipid. — Obfeurity, Sir, is an admi- 
 rable thing j it excites refpedt, and ma- 
 ny of your readers will admire you in pro- 
 portion as they ceafe to underfland you. 
 By the fpeciniens they have had of your 
 wit they will conclude that where the 
 ** wit does not ftrike them, as for example 
 in your intended chapter ofnofes^ it muil 
 be their fault, and not yours, they will 
 fuppofe that this fame wit lies like truth 
 in a weli, and they will laugh with a fool- 
 lifh of praife at every thing you fay, pro- 
 vided it be thrown with a happy air of 
 •* eafe and impudence. Ohfeurity^ Sir, I 
 “ repeat it, is an admirable thing, and ig 
 has given 'reputation to maiiy an au- 
 
( 24 ) 
 
 ** thor. Pray Mafter Y o r i c k are 
 
 you fo much deceived with refpe6l to the 
 truth of things, as to imagine that your 
 “ two firft Volumes were admired only for 
 “ their w't ? — Wit indeed there was in 
 “ them more or lefs — fome ftriking images 
 of a ludicrous kind 5 and though you 
 had no principal figures that made a true 
 ** compofition , yet the corners of your 
 “ piflure prefented here and there enter- 
 taining decorations. But after all, Sir, 
 “ wit was not the only thing that drew ap- 
 plaufe. Oddity was the bait that hook- 
 ** ed in the gaping multitude. — Oddity in 
 ** the author who united the two moft con- 
 tradidtory charadlers ; Oddity in the book, 
 “ which, certainly refembles nothing that 
 ever was, or ever will be, which is witli- 
 out any defign moral or immoral, and 
 ** is no more, indeed, than a combination 
 “ of notions, fads, and circumftances, 
 “ that terminate in — nothing. So then, Sir, 
 “ give me twenty Volumes more of this 
 fame brilliant, ftriking, interefting noth- 
 ing. It is wonderfully fuited to the tafie 
 
 “ of 
 
of the age it will tickle the wanton, 
 “ amufe the unthink ng, countenance the 
 profane, and carry on to perfection that 
 “ fpiric of trifling that makes fuch a rapid 
 progrefs among us. At the fjme time, 
 my Reverend Buck, I have no objection 
 to your being a^ witty as you pleafe ; — « 
 ** none at all — and here, faid he, (chinking 
 “ a long green purfe full of yellow boys) 
 “ here is the fource of wit, the difp nfer 
 of genius, the mailer of arts, and not 
 the belly alone, as juvenal falfely ima- 
 gined. ( u ) 
 
 “ So fpoke> D—ll-y, and thefe his lafl: 
 *' words, were to my ears what Hertfoi'd- 
 Ihire cyder is to a thirfty foul, a roafted 
 flrloin to a craving ft mach, or a 
 plump — - - partridge to a keen hun- 
 ter. d fwallowed inconfiderattly the 
 “ bate- 1 fell a writing, and a writing, 
 
 N 0 r 
 
 (a ) Magijler Artis et Ingem Largitor^ Venter. 
 
 E 
 
 £C 
 
 like 
 
( 26 ) 
 
 like a certain Dodlor who has Invented 
 “ more remedies than there are difeafes. I 
 “ flowed muddy, like Lucilius, and as I 
 “ wrote upon nothings i. e. upon no given 
 fubjedt of any kind, fo every thing was 
 ^ “ equally adapted to my purpofe. Thus 
 
 “ then 1 went on without time or rea on, 
 " writing through thick and thin, flying 
 “ like the people of Strafburgh, here and 
 
 “ there in at one door, out at another 
 
 this way and that way long ways 
 
 and crofs ways till unfortunately one 
 
 “ of the multitude, who had followed me 
 through tv/o Volum s laughing and ap- 
 plauding, took it into his head one day 
 “ to aflo himfelf what he had been ap- 
 
 “ plauding. An unhappy queftion for 
 
 me my dear friends, for upon 
 
 “ examining himfelf he found, that, nine 
 ** times in ten, he had been applauding 
 through meer fympath)\ which (accord- 
 ing to the learned and ingenious Mr. 
 Smith^ iS the fupreme mover and gover- 
 nor general of all our moral fentiments 
 
 ‘‘ and 
 
( 27 ). 
 
 and affe(fi:ions j (ty) he found, to ex- 
 “ plain the thing lefs metaphyfically, that 
 “ it was become modifh and epidemical to 
 “ laugh and admire in read ng my book, 
 and that he was involuntarily feized with 
 
 “ the general contagion. In fhort — he 
 
 “ would laugh no more and froiii 
 
 “ that moment I date my ruin *, for the 
 “ contagion changed fides againft me : the 
 “ man, now mentioned, put the fame que- 
 “ ftion to others that he had put to him- 
 “ felf, and it was anfwered in the lane 
 “ manner. At the appearance, and reading 
 “ of my third and fourth Volume, every m m 
 
 “ fhrugged his fhoulders compofed his 
 
 “ features towards an air of contemvty of 
 “ which I have been myfe f the melancho- 
 ly witnefs. A few of my friends endea- 
 voured to maintain my caufe ; they read, 
 
 -NOTE, 
 
 ( w ) See the Theory of Moral Sentiments by Mr. 
 Adam Smith, Profellor of Moral Philofophy in the 
 Uniyerficy of Gldlgow. 
 
 E 2 
 
 but 
 
( 28 j 
 
 “ but — yawned, and the forced laugh 
 “ was interrupted in the middle by a wide 
 gape, which formed a contrafc of fea- 
 
 “ tures ridiculous beyond meafure. — 
 
 Thus, Gentlemen, T am undone. 
 
 “ My epucation is gone fame indeed 
 
 fpreads my name abroad, but it is alah ! 
 with her pojioicr trumpet-, — my infant 
 “ Triftram is fmothered in his cradle ; Dr. 
 “ Slop pinched off his nofe, and the pub- 
 “ lick, which were dcfi^ned to be his nurf- 
 ing-moihcis, have overlaid him through 
 
 nf^gledt. ‘-ic tranfit gloiia mundi— — 
 
 “ let us eat and drink and drink for to 
 mon-Qw we die . — ( Here after feme viblenS 
 fits of raxing. Yorick breathed out bis 
 intellebiuai partd') 
 
 Thus expired the glory of Yorick , 
 whofe exiftence is now reduced to matter 
 and motion, and here. — My brethren let us 
 
 paufe, to pau'e is wife and were I fo 
 
 happy as to have imbibed a portion of that 
 fpirir whofe extin(5tion we lament, I fhould 
 not tail to give you a learned digreflion 
 
 upon 
 

 ( 29 ,) 
 
 upon paufes . — -Paufes indeed are ftriking 
 
 things- as you will be convinced if you 
 
 go to hear the great orators at Drury- Lane 
 ‘Monkwell-Street, &c. — There is a paufe 
 cf prudence which embellifhes a void, and 
 makes the fpeaker appear eloqueti when' he 
 
 has nothing to fay. There is a paufe of 
 
 application, which enforces what has been 
 
 faid- and there is a paufe of preparation 
 
 to draw attention to what is yet to be 
 faid. ( X ) 
 
 My 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 (x) Mr. Fiagellan while he was repeating this 
 triple diftinftion of paufes, looked his part admira-* 
 bl3% and reprefenred, with exquifice expreHion, the 
 three different paufes by a triple modification of hii 
 
 mod: fignificant countenance. 1 wifh the Printer 
 
 could have given us an image of this! but hoW 
 
 print a paufe, or the locks that accompany it ? — This 
 defeft in the art of printing offers a very flriklng, and 
 adequate reafon why the fermons of many Prelates 
 and Dofio's, which have been with the greateft 
 attenti n and rapture have been f eati with the moft 
 flegmatick -ndifference and inlenfibliiry. For it was 
 impoflibJe to print In a perfed conjundion with the 
 
 flowing 
 
( 3 ° ) 
 
 My paufe is not of the firft kind, becaufe 
 nothing can equal the riches of my fubje<fi;, 
 but it is a compound of the two laft, and 
 this is the elegant tranfition by which I pafs 
 or rather glide on to the fecond head of 
 this difcourfe, in which we pro^ofed, 
 
 ^0 confider this lamentable event, even the 
 death of foor 2'orick with refpedi to thcfe foci- 
 eties or individuals to vohoni it is a mofi affect- 
 ing and irreparable lofs. 
 
 This head will be very (hort, when com= 
 
 pared with the former. You imagine 
 
 perhaps, that I would humoroufly infinuate 
 thereby, that the facetious Doftor’s death, 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 flowing periods, the fine bufhy wigg, the venerable 
 ‘look fofcened by an engaging fmile , the mellow, 
 flrong, and well- modulated voice, the flowing gown, 
 the {lately perfon, the graceful attitude, and other 
 fuch tranfitory Ingredients of pulpit-eloquence. The 
 portrait of the preacher prefixed to his fermons does 
 
 not at all fupply this defect fince It rarely exhibits 
 
 any thing beyond a mere Caput martuum, 
 
 is 
 
{ 31 ) 
 
 h little lamented and deplored, and that he 
 has left as many dry cheeks behind him as 
 if he had been a King, or an Emperor. 
 You miftake me entirely, gentle hearers*, 
 the number of thofe that deplore the anni- 
 hilation of our late friend is very great. 
 And if I am more brief than might be ex- 
 pelled upon this doleful part of cny dole- 
 ful fubjefl, I have my reafons. — That 
 is all that I lhall fay at prefent upon the 
 matter. — 
 
 To return then to my fubjefl — the 
 death of the late Dr. Y o r i c k is an un- 
 fortunate event 
 
 ijl. For the time -killers in general ; a 
 fociety much more, I_fhou!d fay, infinitely 
 more numerous than that of their mortal 
 enemies, the fociety for promoting arts, 
 commerce, and manufadures. 
 
 Weep, O weep for the death of Yo- 
 rick, and the fulFocation of Triftram, 
 ye male and female children of leifure, 
 
 whom 
 
whom v/ant of employment, abundance of 
 high f-cding, and paucity of ideas, caft in- 
 to that letha.gii.k df-jedion, or rather inac- 
 tivity of mind commonly called vapours \ — 
 for the 1. cetious biogiaphcr, whofe decea'e 
 we lame' t, often rouzed you from this 
 wretched fiate. He ufed, one way or ano- 
 ther, to put your fpints in a falutary flutter, 
 either by izinding up your imagi- 
 
 nations, by ex icifng your fagacity, or by 
 exciting your laughter, hie would, had 
 bis ti Tie been pro onged, have defended 
 you againll time iritU ; yes, againft time^ 
 that Qug-ilh friend v.hith draws out your 
 infigmficant exift nee to fuch a tedious 
 length, and which, though it dies daily un- 
 der the b ibarous blows you give it, yet 
 conftantly refumes a new exiftence to re- 
 new your torment. You know, that 
 
 t\it good .nzn had in a manner engaged him- 
 felf to mrite as long as he lived, (y) and, in- 
 
 N 0 T E. 
 
 0 ) “ 
 
 being determined as long as I live 
 
 deed. 
 
( 33 ) 
 
 «5eed. If we confider the manner of treating 
 
 7 
 
 his fubjefl that he has obferved hither- 
 to ; any fubjefl, let it be what it may, 
 Would furniili matter for innumerable vo- 
 lumes to a pen like his. A man that 
 could fill almoft three volurnes with the 
 life of his hero, before that hero was born 
 (z) muft have been poiTcfied of fuch a bat- 
 tological fertility as nothing could exhaull. 
 Here then, had YoRick. lived, was a fine 
 profpetfl for thofe reading time-killers, who 
 cannot fupporc their wretched exiftence, if 
 it is not animated with a fuccefiion of ob- 
 jefls that excite and fatisfy their curiofity, 
 ’'tickle their fancies, and enflame their paf- 
 fions. In the flattering profped of Volume 
 after volume for many fucceeding years, 
 what a rich fund of entertainment was laid 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 “ or write, which in my cafe, means the fame 
 
 “ thing ’’ Lt^/e and opinions of Trijiram Shandy, 
 
 volf III. p. 1 6. 
 
 (z) If this refembles an Hibernian Bull, it muft 
 he laid to the charge of him that oceahoned it. 
 
 F up 
 
( 34 ) 
 
 ap for them ? — All this profpe£t has dn 
 fappeared ; Y o K i c k writes, or at lead, 
 prints no more, and therefore he is deady 
 according to his own declaration. 
 
 I will not infrft, idly, on the lofs which 
 ®he church has fuffered by the death of 
 Yorick, becaufe this is a point, which 
 I might not perhaps be able to- render clear 
 and convincing to the generality of thofe 
 that fhall read my fermon, when it is prin- 
 ted ; tho’ I think to you, my worthy hear- 
 ers, (a) the matter muft be fufficiently evi- 
 dent. 
 
 It has been often obferved, that nothing 
 tends more to the credit of religion, than 
 purging it from thofe prejudices that dilho- 
 nour its fimplicity. How free Yorick 
 was from all prejodices of every kind, is 
 well known. He had levelled them with 
 a Herculean hand. Nay, the common pre- 
 
 ju- 
 
 0 T E S. 
 
 By fris nmrthy hearers, Mr. Flagellan here 
 ®nderfl:ood, without doubt, that part of his audience,, 
 .which comprehended' the Bucks and Jermiti. 
 
{ 35 ) 
 
 judices of education, which are the hard- 
 eft to conquer, and which tend to give 
 religion and morality a defpotick fway over 
 the hearts of men which were created free,, 
 
 fell before his vidorious arm. — I 
 
 don’t like much to enlarge upon this to- 
 pick, ——there are ftill fome fqueamifh 
 ftomachs, which cannot digeft ftrong food j 
 
 you underftand me a word to the 
 
 wife is fufBcient. 
 
 Need I mention, ^dly^ the extraordinary 
 manner in which the death of our late 
 Jovial friend muft affeft the coffee-houfes 
 of London in particular, and Great Bri- 
 tain in general. There has of late been 
 obferved a remarkable ftagnation of prittle- 
 prattle and tittle-tattle in thefe promifeu- 
 ous abodes of heterogeneous mortals. The 
 coronation, indeed, revived a little the fpi- 
 rit of loquacity, and fet many tongues a- 
 going. The news of a battle or defeat 
 produce now and then the fame effetft. But 
 thefe are only incidental topicks of conver- 
 F z 
 
( 3 ^ ) 
 
 ration, v/hich may ferve for a few days and 
 are foon exhaufted.’ The Miniftry, to the 
 forrow of thofe who are by nature Grumble- 
 tonians, are abfolutely above cenfure, and 
 the name of that virtuous and truly patriot 
 King, who now adorns the Britifh throne 
 cannot be pronounced without exciting the 
 warmed fentiments of love and veneration, 
 and the fincereft efFufions of applaufe. But 
 ■we generally are more prone to cenfure than 
 to praife. And even when we praife, we 
 dont love to praife long. So that King and 
 minidry, after being praifed for a while 
 with much verbofity on account of the m- 
 %'e!ty as well as the greatnefs of the merit 
 which they difplay in their high fpheres, 
 will foon become the objefls of fi’.ent vene^ 
 ration and efteera, Britons in this age are 
 like the Athenians of old, they are always 
 in fearch of fomething new, to arouze their 
 loquacity, and though, indeed, it was very 
 fie’W, to fee fuch a king, and tvvo fuch mi- 
 pifters(^j, yet it will we hope in time be old. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 (4) This was written before the late change in 
 
 May 
 
( 37 ) 
 
 May they fee their hoary heads crowned 
 with fuch honours, as ftiall animate the vir- 
 tuous ambition of the rifing generation to 
 
 follow their examples. Lord 1 
 
 what a digrefllon ! You have not, 
 
 however, forgot what I was faying. 
 
 The coffee-houfes want matter. — Oppofi- 
 tion, which was always a rich fource of 
 ftnall and big talk, being ftru9k dumb, what 
 was left to exercife the lungs of our vocife- 
 rous cits, but the life and opinions of Trijlr am 
 Shandy ? The events, incidents, attitudes, 
 points of view, tales, reflections, apoftro- 
 phe’s, digrefllons, characters, hints, ftrokes, 
 pulhes, touches, portraits, double entendres, 
 lights, and fti.ades of that admirable work, 
 would have furniflied them converfation 
 for many years, had its mortal author found 
 the means of efcaping death and oblivion. 
 
 I haften, my brethren, (for I perceive that 
 I grow prolix, and you perhaps may have 
 perceived it long ago) to the Illd and lafl: 
 
 the mlnUtry, and Mr. Flagellan hopes, that there 
 is not, nor ever will be, reaf(?n to change it, or to 
 wHh It un~'written. Vicarius Braiut, 
 
 head 
 
C 38 ) 
 
 feead of this difcourfe, in which I propofed 
 to anfwer the objections that have been mou- 
 thed and handed about againft the memory 
 and good fame of the d“ceafed. You will 
 nov/ perhaps imagine within yourfelves that 
 this is- the moft difficult part of my fubjeft, 
 and that I have undertaken here a talk, be- 
 yond any man’s power to execute. But here 
 
 you millake entirely the matter and 
 
 I enter into this branch ©f my fermon with 
 theutmoft conddenccj with the moft trium- 
 phant afturance. 
 
 I. Objcdion. Dr. Torick in writing a ro- 
 mance, wrote upon a fuhje^ foreign to his voca- 
 tion, and thereby grofiy mifapplied his time. 
 
 Anfwer. If this were a real crime, Lord 
 have mercy upon the greateft part of us ! 
 for perhaps rro crime was ever fo general in 
 our days, as that of writing, nay and living 
 too out of charader. We might hide 
 from the force of this objedlion with the 
 numbers that are in the fame cafe, and fay 
 with Juvenal, 
 
 Defendit. numerus,jun£lcsque amkone Phalanges. 
 
 It 
 
( 39 ) 
 
 It may be farther obferved, that perfoirs 
 may be extremely unfit for the duties of a 
 vocation, into which they are thrown bjr 
 chance, interefl, or fuch-l ke cau'esj and 
 whenthey are unfit for the duties of their own 
 vocation, is it not rather laudab’e than cri- 
 minal to afi: in foreign charaflers ? Is not 
 this better than not to a6t at all ? — — -This 
 was precifely the cafe of Yorick. Neither 
 .nature nov grace had called him to be a Mi- 
 nifter of Chrift : yet he fortuitoujly or cun- 
 ningly became a Parfon in fpite of both. In 
 this new and ill-fuked charadler be looked 
 4ike a Bacchanal in a hermitage^ and faid firH 
 to hiinfelf and afterwards to the world ; 
 
 Naturam expellas furca licet ufque recurret; 
 His cabinet became the nurfery of a ro- 
 mance, and his life fomething more 
 
 fubftanrial. This is fomewhat obfeure, 
 
 the fpirit of Triftram was again coming 
 upon me — - avaunt thou fiend of darknefs 
 'vifible. 
 
 But after all, we reft our caufe hereupon 
 the ftrength of numbers, and only alledge 
 shat Torick was not criminal in taking up 
 
 an 
 
( 40 ) 
 
 an occupation foreign to his profeflion, fmce 
 many are in the fame cafe, who are not 
 even accufed. Who ever reproached the 
 
 Reverend Mr. P p F s, 
 
 W’ith fpending the flower and flrrength of his 
 days in tranflating and commenting the odes, 
 epodes, fatires and cpiilles of that agreeable 
 and elegant rake Horace^ though it is plain 
 that his vocation pointed out to him ftudies 
 and occupations of a quite different nature ? 
 Who ever blamed the very learned and 
 
 ghoflly Chancellor of L n for fpending 
 
 thofe precious moments upon the orations 
 of Demoflhenes -that his profeflion demand- 
 ed for the difcourfes and precepts of his 
 Great Maflcr, ‘who /poke as never man 
 fpoke? {c) We fhall not fpeak of the inge- 
 nious 
 
 N O 7 E S. 
 
 ( f ) This was the eminent Divine, who at the end 
 of a laborious book, which contained an elegant mix- 
 ture of Civil Lav} and Philology, added his lucubrations 
 upon an old piece of moulded copper, and in thefe 
 lucubrations attempted to prove to the great aftonlfh- 
 ment of Hifiary and common fenfe (wlio turned their 
 tonllhment mto laughter when they had heard his 
 
 argu- 
 
( 41 ) 
 
 mous author of the Rosciad, — becaiife 
 we diftinguifli between an amufement and an 
 occupation-, though we might of the moft 
 critical and Greek learned bilhop who is 
 about to give us another bad edition of 
 Longinus. It would be endlefs to mention 
 the number of Divines who have been 
 fweating over the Polytheift Homer, the 
 Atheift Lucretius and the Epicurean Virgil, 
 while West ajid Littleton were writing 
 upon the Refurredtion of Chrift and the 
 Converfion of the Glorious Apoftle of the 
 Gentiles. ( I ) — Such then being the ffate 
 of the cafe, why fhould Yorick be re- 
 G proach- 
 
 V 07 E S. 
 
 arguments) that the firll: chrlftlans were not perfecut- 
 ed for their Religion, but for their noBurnal ajfemllies, 
 
 and that perfecutlon for religious opinions grew 
 
 firft in a chiiftlan foil. Afconius Benthicarius, 
 
 {b) It is not to be imagined that Mr. Flagellan 
 has here mentioned the late excellent Mr. West, and 
 the truly learned and worthy Peer whofe name Is here 
 joined with his, as perfons, writing out of their pro- 
 
 felTIon, No, they wrote In a charafter, which, 
 
 both their writings an^ £heix lives have difplayed in 
 
 'm 
 
( 42 ) 
 
 proached for doing, what fo many have 
 done with impunity ? Why fliould he be 
 blamed for fending to his garret or the fnuff- 
 fliop the Bible, the Fathers, the commen- 
 tators, &c. and placing upon his reading- 
 defk Petronius and Rabelais^ Cervantes^ and 
 
 Slawkenbergm . You may not perhaps 
 
 be acquainted with this latter. It was the 
 
 Gentleman who wrote the Chapter of Nofes, 
 a chapter fo famous for its perfpicuity, 
 fenfe, and decency ; a chapter however, at 
 which certain old-fafhioned and un-iniriat- 
 ed readers, not knowing whether they were 
 to laugh or weep, ftruck the diagonal or 
 
 middle-way and yawned but with 
 
 a frown. ( c ) 
 
 Ild. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 its true colours, in the refpeftable chara£ter of chrlfti- 
 ans. And they have contributed more to the fupporc 
 of the beft of all caufes, (which owes Its prefent decay, 
 rather to levity and voluptuoufnefs, than reafon and 
 argument ) than the two thirds of that Reverend 
 Bench that nod at the head of a declining Church. 
 Warbwtonius. 
 
 (f ) Tills fliews.the lingular effeft of the Chapter of 
 becaufe according to die conformation of the 
 
 mufcles 
 
( 43 ) 
 
 lid. Ohje5lion. Both the writings and dif- 
 courfe of Dr. Torick were larded with obfceni- 
 ties, and this is quite inconftfient with the cha- 
 racter of a clergy -man. 
 
 Anfwer. There are two ways of eluding 
 
 the force of this objeftion. The one by 
 
 alledging, that Torick was not really and 
 ejjentially a clergyman ; and then the objec- 
 tion is prevented — the other^ by proving, 
 that he was not obfeene either in writings or 
 difeourfe, and then the objeeftion is direfUy 
 
 deftroyed. If I cannot fufficiently make 
 
 out this fecond point, I lliall but trefs it with 
 a third in order to prove that obfeenity in 
 writing or difeourfe is not always a proof 
 that a man is either difhoneft or immoral. 
 
 The firft of thefe points does not demand 
 a long difculTion. Its dedfion depends 
 upon the definition of a clergyman. If by a 
 clergyman^ you mean, a two-legged animaf 
 G 2 without 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 mufcles of the face, a yawn Is mod naturally follow- 
 ed with a certain unmeaning ferenlty of countenance, 
 which even approaches to a fmlle. Hillius Anatomico- 
 Herbaiio~Ethico-dramatico~philokgico-Theologico-Chjmicus, 
 
/ 
 
 ( 44 ) ■ 
 
 without feathers, of an ere£t ■pojiure, not kfs 
 than four, nor more than feven foot high, 
 •with a great quantity of fiSiitious hair about 
 his head that looks like the erebled quills of an 
 angry porcupine, together •with a long black 
 robe, and a white piece of cambrick under his 
 chin, then it muft be acknowledged that ac- 
 cording to this definition, the deceafed Doc- 
 tor was really a clergy-man and therefore 
 the objeftion under confideration is not yet 
 prevented. But if befides the circumftances 
 of being two-legged, without feathers, and 
 the others now-mentioned, you comprehend 
 in your definition, piety of fentiment, dignity 
 cf behaviour, fanPiity of manners, zeal for the 
 advancement of religion and virtue, and a pre- 
 vailing habit of decency and propriety that 
 does not even defert the hours of relaxation 
 and pleafure, then the objeiSlion is prev’-ent- 
 cd ; for according to this definition our de- 
 ceafed Friend was not a clergyman. He, 
 indeed, though in the fore moft rank, is not 
 the only one whole indelible character would 
 be utterly effaced by this definition. It is 
 a terrible definition, my brethren, would 
 
prove a fort of a draw-canfir among the fa- 
 crcd legions of the Church, and deftroy the 
 clerical exijlencs of thoufands. 
 
 But left you fliould cavil at the nice and 
 fuhtile diftinflion which I have here made 
 between a clergyman in one fenfe, and a 
 clergyman in another, I will not reft here 
 the defence of Poor 7oricky but dire^ly de- 
 llroy the force of the obje6lion by proving 
 that the decealed was not obfcene neither 
 in his writings nor difcourfe. — And here 
 1 obferve. 
 
 In the firjl -place, that he was not obfcene 
 in his words. There is not a Tingle word in 
 the life of Trlftrlm Shandy, (if you v/ill 
 except fome bye-words of Sergeant 'Trim, 
 and Tome technical terms of Dr. Slop) that is 
 not to be found, without any note of infa- 
 my, in the dictionary of the learned, grave, 
 venerable and folemn Mr, Samuel Johnfon, 
 Nay, fo far did our departed friend carr^ his 
 delicacy on that head, that knowing that the 
 chafteft words might fometimes be the in- 
 nocent occafion of exciting the fouleft ide- 
 
( 46 ) 
 
 aSj he exprefled himfelf fieqnently by a 
 dafli — — without even ufing the ini- 
 
 tial letters, left fome wag more fagacious 
 than his feilov/s ftiould peep into his mean- 
 ing. 
 
 If you alledge, that dafties — — — are 
 often very expreftive and dear when taken 
 in their connexions, and that there are fe- 
 veral phrafes in the book in queftion, that, 
 pure as the words which compofc them 
 may be, are yet, when taken together, ex- 
 prdTive of lafcivious operations and impure 
 motions, I anfwer ; that this is unavoida- 
 ble, unlefs we abandon the words that are 
 the moft in ufe, and thattre employed even 
 by prudes themfelves. The terms marriage, 
 fr.arriage -bed, 'wedding -night, pregnancy, and 
 many others convey precifely the fame ide- 
 as, which poor Yorick is blamed for hav- 
 ing excited in feveral parts of his book. Do 
 but analyfe thefeexprefllons and the fentences 
 in which they are employed every day, and 
 ■you will find yourfelves juft where Yorick 
 was leading your palpitating fancies, when he 
 
 talked 
 
( 47 ) 
 
 talked of winding up the old clocks of the Jlrm-» 
 ger's cod-piece^ or ot his mother's not caring tt> 
 let a man come fo near her * ***. Are not the 
 words adultery, fornication, and the like pro- 
 nounced every day by the pureft mouths, and 
 where is the vellal that does not talk withouc 
 a blufli of the village of Maiden-head, of Pet» 
 ticoat-lane, where v/e are at prefent aflembled, 
 tho* we need not infinuate the collateral and 
 acceflbry ideas which ftart up at the pronun* 
 ciation of thefe innocent terms ? The hiftorian 
 Mezerai tells us of a priell, who had been fur* 
 prized in bed with his neighbour’s wife, and 
 who was punilhed by the lopping off the parts 
 which had committed the crime. This is fpeak- 
 ing plainly enough. A Dalh would not have 
 faid more, and yet Mezerai palTes for a chaft© 
 and wdfe* writer. 
 
 You will alledge, perhaps, that Yorick 
 fpoke of, and hinted at thefe impure objefts, 
 W'ithout neceflity, thro’ choice, from a fpirit of 
 wantonnefs, and without any other defign than 
 to tickle the fancy at the expence of virtue. 
 This fide of the objedion perplexes me a good 
 
 deals 
 
( 48 ) 
 
 deal ; the anfwer to it is fomewhat difficult, 
 I therefore pafs on to my third and laft ob- 
 
 fervation, which is, 
 
 ■■■V.' 
 
 That obfcenity in v/rlcing or difcourfe is not 
 always a proof that a man is either diffioneft 
 or immoral ; But as I perceive (Hae Mr. Fla- 
 gellan fhook the fand-glafs ) that your time is 
 elapfed, and that this point would require a 
 very long difcuffion, before we could draw any 
 thing from it to the advantage of the dcceaif- 
 ed, we fhall not enter upon it at prefent, nor 
 perhaps in any future time, but conclude as we 
 propofed, with an improper application of what 
 has been faid. 
 
 Let us learn from the annihilation of Yo- 
 RICK, that licentious wit is a bubble, and that 
 ill-got fame is a capricious ftrumpet, whofe 
 uncertain and tranfitory fmiles portend future 
 infamy and contempt, while decency and vir- 
 tue are the fureft paths to true honour, will, 
 fooner or later captivate the reluflant applaufe 
 of the moft worthlefs, and be perfedlly happy, 
 without it, in the efteem of the wife and good. 
 
 FINIS. 
 

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