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 WILLIAM R. PERKINS 
 
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Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 in 2011 with funding from 
 Duke University Libraries 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/eleazarinterestiOObing 
 
ELEAZAR; 
 
 AN 
 
 INTERESTING NARRATIVE 
 
 OF ONE OF 
 
 THE JEWISH CONVERTS 
 
 DAY OF PENTECOST 
 
 SUPPOSED TO BE RELATED BY HIMSELF. 
 
 BY THOMAS BINGHAM, 
 
 AUTHOR OF " WILLIAM CHURCHMAN," &C. 
 
 " Call to remembrance the former days." 
 
 Paul. 
 " Surget Gens Aurea Mundo." 
 
 Virgil. 
 '* Who is this that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the 
 moon, clear as the sun, terrible as an army with banners V 
 
 Solomon. 
 " Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice." 
 
 Jesus Christ. 
 
 Eontron ; 
 PUBLISHED BY FRANCIS WESTLEY, 
 
 10, STATIONERS' COURT, AND AVE- MARIA LANE. 
 
 1824. 
 
MILNE AND BANFIELD, 76, FLEET STREET. 
 
$6% 
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Intention of the writer — Birth of Eleazar 
 — His education and prejudices — His senti- 
 ments and mode of life — Hears Jesus — His 
 remarks — Zeal for making proselytes — Success 
 — Reward — One important instance — Unex- 
 pected event — Nirza's letter — Deliberation on 
 it — Consultation with Gamaliel and Saul — Re- 
 ply — Nirza's escape— Eleazar' s return to his 
 father's house — Description — Interesting con- 
 versation with Nirza — False reasoning — Pride 
 of heart — Natural result, yet unexpected — 
 Conversations — Marriage — Condemnation and 
 death of Christ — Eleazar' s prayer — Convic- 
 tions — How resisted — The resurrection — The 
 day of Pentecost — Peter's sermon effects con- 
 version of Eleazar, Joachim, and Jonathan — 
 
VI CONTENTS. 
 
 Return to Bethphage — Relation to his parents 
 and wife of the change in his views — Banished by 
 his father — Nirza accompanies him — Received 
 by Joachim — Thomas the Apostle — Joanna 
 prevails on Nirza to attend at the Temple — 
 The cripple healed — Nirza' s conversion — Ap- 
 prehension and release of the Apostles — 
 Meeting of the Church at Lebbeus's house — 
 James addresses them — Effect — Joses — Ana- 
 nias — Rechab, a spy — His conversion — Sick- 
 ness and death of Eleazar's father — Return to 
 Bethphage — Persecution increases the Church 
 — Visit of Saul to Eleazar — Saul's departure 
 to Damascus — Letter from Saul — Hoshea at- 
 tacks miracles — Answered by Luke — Use of 
 science — Saul's return — Story of Hananiah 
 and Salome — Prayer meetings — Peter — Con- 
 version and death of Eleazar's mother — Return 
 of Jonathan from India — Brings tidings from 
 Thomas the Apostle, of the success of their 
 mission, and of their meeting with Calanus, who 
 was blind — Restores his sight — His conversion 
 — His letter to Nirza — Peter — Cornelius — 
 Prejudices removed — New stimulus to Mis- 
 sionary zeal — Different means used to extend 
 the Gospel — Family trials — Eleazar and Nirza 
 
CONTENTS. Vll 
 
 depart with the missionaries for India — Nirza 
 falls sick on the road— Design of afflictions 
 — Danger of heart idolatry — Eleazar leaves 
 her to bring Calanus to her — Affecting 
 incident — Interview with Calanus — They pro- 
 ceed to Nirza- — Interesting scene — Her death 
 — Her burial — Return of Eleazar — Account 
 of Herod's death — On economy and fru- 
 gality, as means of benevolence — Cases — 
 Family remaining to Eleazar — Marriage of his 
 daughter to a missionary — Departure for 
 Ethiopia — Character and death of his son Ce- 
 phas — Trial in his remaining profligate son — 
 Departs — Returns in the prodigal's state of 
 misery, but without his penitence — Awful cir- 
 cumstances attending his death — Employment 
 of Eleazar when loosed from every domestic- 
 tie — Flight to Pella — Closing observations. 
 
 Addendum. — The Backslider, a true Nar- 
 rative. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 What was the cause that so lately 
 influenced the minds of many think- 
 ing men to reject Christianity as an 
 imposture? The resistless reasons 
 which had induced men of snperior 
 minds than themselves possessed, to 
 acknowledge its divine original had 
 not been refuted ; no new and power- 
 ful arguments had been adduced to 
 invalidate their force ; no discoveries 
 had been made of a better system to 
 substitute in its stead ; wherefore, 
 then, was it that so universal a 
 clamour was raised against it, and a 
 storm ensued which, after its cessa- 
 tion, has left such remains of its 
 ravages throughout Europe ? 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 The cause originated in the pro- 
 fessors of Christianity themselves ; 
 the representation that was made of 
 it by their creeds and their lives 
 (especially the latter, for even philo- 
 sophers are generally better judges 
 of conduct than of principle) was so 
 different from its portrait in the New 
 Testament, that the distorted carica- 
 ture shocked every reflecting mind 
 which was not acquainted with the 
 lovely original, and, being mistaken 
 for a just resemblance, induced mul- 
 titudes to retire into the gloomy 
 thickets of infidelity to avoid so dis- 
 gusting a spectacle. 
 
 But the experiment of rendering 
 men wise, good, peaceable, and 
 happy, without the religion of the 
 Bible, has been fairly tried, and has 
 completely failed. The rejected Bi- 
 ble has been again sought as the 
 
PREFACE. Xi 
 
 only messenger of consolation to the 
 unhappy, and many have drank the 
 healing balm it affords. 
 
 Yet, when we compare the repre- 
 sentation our lives afford, with the 
 holy tendency of the truths we pro- 
 fess, we must honestly acknowledge 
 a striking dissimilarity ; and it may 
 be very profitable to attempt a de- 
 lineation of Christianity as practi- 
 cally exhibited in its purity, that, 
 struck with the contrast, we may be 
 stimulated to love religion more con- 
 sistently. 
 
 These views influenced me to com- 
 mence a train of thought which at 
 first almost imperceptibly led to the 
 idea of this little work ; and if, in. 
 any instance, it should stir up an 
 inconsistent professor of Christianity 
 to a life more suitable to the holy 
 religion he professes, or should enable 
 
Xll PREFACE. 
 
 an inquirer to distinguish between 
 the religion of the gospel and its 
 counterfeits, in each case my desire 
 will be gratified, and God shall have 
 the glory. 
 
 As the scene is laid in Judea, and 
 in that period of the Jewish history, 
 which was, of all others, the most 
 eventful and important, I may not 
 improperly request of any of the 
 seed of Abraham, into whose hands 
 it may fall, to give it a candid pe- 
 rusal, and examine the principles it 
 contains, as derived from their own 
 prophets ; and may the God of Abra- 
 ham, Isaac, and Jacob, open their 
 eyes by his Spirit, to discern, in the 
 despised Nazarene, that Messiah, 
 whose day, beheld at an immense 
 distance, rejoiced the heart of their 
 venerable ancestor. 
 
ELEAZAR. 
 
 ^K 
 
 Comparing the present appearance of the 
 religion of Jesus Christ in the world, with 
 the representation made of it in the New 
 Testament, I was induced to embody that 
 representation in the form of a narrative, and 
 to describe a series of supposed facts, founded 
 on its principles, and calculated to exhibit 
 forcibly the effects they must have produced 
 on those who acted under their influence, in 
 the various scenes of human life. I therefore 
 tcok the liberty of creating an imaginary 
 character, and of exhibiting him as the relator 
 of his own history, and that of the times he 
 lived in, to a circle of the exiled Christians 
 
 B 
 
who found refuge, during the siege of Jerusa- 
 lem, in the retired situation of Pella. 
 
 Let us then at once introduce him, and hear 
 him speak for himself: — 
 
 " My name is Eleazar Ben Joseph ; my 
 father, Joseph Ben Hezekiah, was a native 
 of the village of Bethphage, where I also 
 was born, about twelve years after the birth 
 of Jesus the Messiah. 
 
 My parent being of the sect of the Phari- 
 sees, I was of course instructed diligently by 
 him in all their self-righteous tenets and 
 superstitious observances, nor did he neglect, 
 in my early years, to give me the most ear* 
 nest and affectionate cautions against the 
 infidel system of the Sadducees, and the loose 
 and accommodating maxims of the Herodians. 
 
 But when Jesus began to teach and to 
 preach in the city and its vicinity, I still re- 
 collect the superior earnestness and pathos of 
 his warnings against the Impostor ; so warmly 
 he appeared to feel on the subject, that his 
 whole soul seemed to he infused into his 
 words, and I imbibed his spirit while I lis- 
 tened to his maxims, and found enmity 
 
3 
 
 against the detested Nazarene " grow with 
 my growth, and strengthen with my strength." 
 
 After my father had communicated to me 
 all the knowledge he possessed himself, he 
 sent me to Jerusalem to study the law and 
 the prophets, with the traditions and com- 
 ments of the elders, under the famous Ga- 
 maliel, the most esteemed doctor of laws in 
 the holy city, whose lectures I attended with 
 the greatest diligence, and soon obtained an 
 high place in his esteem, being excelled by 
 none of his pupils, except Saul of Tarsus, 
 whose uncommon attainments were soon ex- 
 tensively noticed, and betwixt whom and 
 myself congenial sentiments and feelings soon 
 produced a most intimate friendship. 
 
 Often, I now recollect with deep regret, 
 in our familiar conversations with each other, 
 when the Nazarene was our subject, our hearts 
 burning with rage like the infernals, we were 
 wont to rail, in language unbecoming the 
 gravity of our character, at the blind stupidity 
 and folly of the vulgar horde in being duped 
 by one whose very parentage, occupation, and 
 B2 
 
appearance, rendered him, in our view, an 
 object worthy only of sovereign contempt. 
 
 " My life at this period was regulated by 
 the most austere and strict precepts of our 
 sanctimonious sect. I regularly fasted twice 
 in the week, and was very plain and moderate 
 in my diet at all times. I observed the 
 strictest simplicity and neatness in my dress ; 
 my countenance wore the most grave and 
 solemn appearance ; I was careful to abstain 
 from the outward acts of vice, and was fre- 
 quent, long, loud, and eloquent in my prayers. 
 I spent daily many hours in diligently reading 
 and studying the law and the prophets, with 
 the notes, comments, and traditions of the 
 scribes and elders, which I considered as 
 equally valid and important with the text ; 
 and I vainly imagined that no man could pos- 
 sibly stand on higher ground than myself in 
 the favour of the God of Israel, nor possess 
 more substantial reason to expect some very 
 exalted and conspicuous post of honour in the 
 future universal kingdom, which I believed 
 the Messiah would come ere long to erect and 
 establish. 
 
Nevertheless, I acknowledge, that occa- 
 sionally, when I had been reading some pas- 
 sages in the prophets, and especially in the 
 Psalms of David, I have not been able to 
 avoid feeling myself struck forcibly with the 
 idea that those holy men of God paid a more 
 particular regard to the purity of the heart, 
 and to the exact regulation of its thoughts, 
 purposes, and motives, than I did : but then 
 I endeavoured to consider their expressions 
 as the mere hyperbolical flights of poetic lan- 
 guage, and by no means as tending to point 
 me out as a deficient character, when com- 
 pared with them; a supposition my self- 
 righteous heart could not bear to admit ; and 
 besides, as I always tasked myself more 
 heavily with reading and praying whenever I 
 discovered any thing amiss in my conduct, 
 and also occasionally made a free-will offering 
 at the temple, I soon silenced all the remon- 
 strances of my conscience, and became per- 
 fectly well pleased with myself. 
 
 Averse as I was to hear the Seducer, as I 
 esteemed him, I did, on one occasion only, at 
 the solicitation of one of my fellow pupils, 
 
(who had observed to me repeatedly, that if 
 some of us did not hear him, and judge from 
 our personal knowledge, we should not be 
 able effectually to undeceive our poor ignorant 
 and unsuspecting neighbours, who were de- 
 ceived by his artful and insinuating address,) 
 attend his preaching, the subject of which, at 
 that time, was the Prodigal Son ; and I own, 
 that when I first beheld him, the openness 
 and honesty apparent in his countenance, 
 struck me as being qilite different from what 
 my previous ideas of his character would have 
 led me to expect, and when he began his 
 subject, the artless and unaffected simplicity 
 of the story, the very natural turns of affec- 
 tion it displayed, and the energetic pathos of 
 his delivery, interested me in spite of myself, 
 and I listened awhile with pleasing surprise ; 
 but when he proceeded to describe, in the cha- 
 racter of the elder brother, the temper of a 
 Pharisee's heart, my whole soul was roused 
 to indignation, and had I not been fearful 
 that I should thereby have degraded the 
 solemnity of my character, I could gladly 
 have thrown off my mantle, and joined with 
 
7 
 
 the meanest of the bigotted rabble in stoning 
 him to death. 
 
 The ardour of my natural disposition, united 
 to the flattering prospects my religious ambi- 
 tion presented to me, excited me to active 
 diligence in that work for which the Pharisees 
 were famous — that of making proselytes ; and 
 as my respectable situation in the college 
 made me known and esteemed throughout the 
 city, I found no difficulty of obtaining ready 
 access to the conversation of the richest and 
 most respectable among the numerous stran- 
 gers who, either on account of business, or 
 with a view to pleasure, visited Jerusalem, 
 an advantage which T endeavoured to im- 
 prove as much as possible, not merely to pro- 
 selyte them to the Jewish religion, but to 
 the peculiar tenets and practices of my favourite 
 sect, on which alone I firmly believed all the 
 highest and most important posts of honour 
 and emolument in the coming kingdom of the 
 secular Messiah, whom we expected, would 
 be conferred. 
 
 In this employment I frequently met with 
 so much success, as to be rewarded by the 
 
8 
 
 thanks of my tutor Gamaliel, and was 
 warmly and strongly recommended by him to 
 the notice and regard of the Sanhedrim. 
 
 One instance only of this success is worthy 
 of my remembrance, from the important 
 and unexpected results which it produced, 
 under the direction of a sovereign God, who 
 worketh all things according to the counsel of 
 his own will, though, at the time it occurred, 
 I, with all my imagined wisdom and sanctity, 
 was totally unacquainted with the God I pro- 
 fessed to worship. 
 
 There was a merchant from the Indies 
 whose name was Calanus, who, for the pur- 
 poses of his commerce, resided a considerable 
 time in the city. He had brought a large 
 quantity of the most valuable diamonds and 
 other precious gems from the oriental mines 
 for sale. The immense riches he appeared to 
 possess, the sumptuous style in which he 
 lived, and the large retinue he maintained, 
 made him appear to me as an important ac- 
 quisition, if he could be acquired. Alas ! 
 with all my boasted pity for the poor idolatrous 
 stranger, who possessed neither property, 
 
9 
 
 rank, or influence, such an one I should have 
 taken very little pains to convert, but here I 
 employed all my heart and energy. 
 
 Having formed an acquaintance with him, 
 I became a frequent visitant at his lodgings, 
 where I was well received by him, (notwith- 
 standing he disliked my scrupulous punctilios, 
 especially in refusing to eat with the uncir- 
 cumcised,) and highly regarded by him as the 
 only person he found capable of informing 
 him respecting many circumstances he was 
 desirous of knowing, that related to our cus- 
 toms, manners, and religion ; and in the 
 many conversations I held with him on those 
 subjects, I earnestly laboured to convince 
 him of the unity of God and the divine mis- 
 sion of our Moses ; but after repeatedly ex- 
 hausting all my powers of reasoning and 
 oratory, I still found it impossible to convince 
 him of the falsehood of the idolatrous notions 
 in which he had been educated, though he 
 still continued to treat me with the utmost 
 civility and kindness. 
 
 He had brought with him Nirza, his only 
 daughter, in order to gratify her, whom he 
 b3 
 
10 
 
 tenderly loved, with the sight of those nu- 
 merous curiosities our country abounded with, 
 and of the grand and sumptuous edifices which 
 adorned the holy city. She was nearly of my 
 own age, sensible and intelligent, and ex- 
 tremely agreeable in person and manners ; 
 this amiable virgin was often present during 
 the debates her father and I held on the sub- 
 ject of religion, and silently listened to our 
 conversations with an attentive regard ; but 
 as my own attention was so particularly di- 
 rected to the conversion of her father, I had 
 no suspicion of what was passing in her mind, 
 nor the impressions she had received from my 
 arguments for a considerable time. 
 
 One day as I was coming out of my study 
 I was met by a black maid-servant, whom I 
 recollected as one of the domestics I had seen 
 at the house of Calanus, who, with a profound 
 reverence, presented me with the following 
 note, and retired without speaking a word or 
 waiting for an answer :— 
 
 " Holy Rabbi Eleazar, 
 
 " Though I have all my past life worshipped the gods 
 of my forefathers, of gold and silver, of wood and stone, yet 
 
11 
 
 you have made it evident to my heart that they cannot save 
 me; you have so plainly proved that your Jehovah, the God 
 of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, is the only true and living 
 God, that I long to know and worship him. But, O thou 
 servant of God, what can thine hand-maid do ? The tender 
 parent from whose loins she derived her being, abhors the 
 name of Jehovah ; and upon her expressing some doubts this 
 morning to him, concerning the danger of worshipping the 
 idols of our country, was filled with rage, and, with the most 
 bitter curses, threatened, like the ostriches of the wilderness, 
 to forsake his only offspring, and to leave his inheritance to 
 others. Her father is dear to her, but her immortal spirit is 
 more important; therefore she humbly seeketh instruction 
 from thee, and if the request be lawful, holy man of God, 
 she would intreat thee to point out to her a place of refuge, 
 where she may become an hand-maiden to some one of the 
 daughters of thy people, and be more fully taught the law of 
 the God of Israel, under whose wings she cometh to trust. 
 
 " Despise not, I beseech thee, the request of thy unworthy 
 hand-maid, but be pleased to direct and assist me, and thy 
 God will reward thee. " Nirza." 
 
 " My maid, though ignorant of the nature of my letter, 
 yet being faithful to me, will deliver this, and in three days 
 come to thee for an answer." 
 
 On the receipt of this letter, I felt a mingled 
 sentiment of pleasure and concern ; I was 
 pleased with the hope of doing good to the 
 soul of this young stranger, but at the same 
 time I could not but entertain a suspicion, lest 
 
12 
 
 her letter should be the effect of some artful 
 design, as I had heard so many relations of 
 the cunning wiles exercised by the daughters 
 of the heathens to delude the sons of Israel, 
 and I was, on this account, fearful of acting 
 on my own judgment ; I therefore communi- 
 cated the matter to my friend Saul, who at 
 first warmly dissuaded me from intermeddling 
 at all in so dangerous and delicate an affair, 
 lest I should tarnish so fair a character for 
 sanctity as I had obtained: However, he 
 wished me to consult our sage and venerable 
 tutor, and to be governed entirely by his 
 wise advice. 
 
 When I had related the story to Gamaliel, 
 he replied in his usual cool dispassionate man- 
 ner, that it did not become any one to pro- 
 nounce an immediate opinion on a matter of 
 such moment, and which might produce im- 
 portant results ; but that he would seriously 
 consider it, and give me his advice on the 
 next day. 
 
 In the cool of the next morning he called 
 me to walk with him on the roof of the college, 
 and addressed me to the following purport : — 
 
13 
 
 " My dear son Eleazar, I have given the 
 most serious and attentive consideration to 
 the very important subject you confided to 
 me, and I am fully persuaded that there does 
 not appear to be any deceit or imposture in 
 the letter of this young stranger, and she 
 appears, in many respects, to be a prize 
 worth our securing to our sect, lest, if neglected 
 by us, she should be deluded by the Saddu- 
 cees or Herodians, in which case her state 
 would still be doubtful, though she renounced 
 th^ gross idolatry of her education ; besides, 
 if you do not complete the good work you have 
 begun, the just reward your merit might other- 
 wise expect, would be diminished, and you 
 would also lose that lesser reward which yet 
 is not to be slighted by a wise man — that 
 esteem amongst men which, by the entire 
 success of your proselyting efforts, you would 
 be justly entitled to claim. 
 
 " Yet it is highly improper that a young per- 
 son of her sex and age, should be placed 
 under the immediate protection of a man of 
 your years, least instead of exalting it, might 
 injure that high reputation for austere sanctity 
 
14 
 
 you now possess, and the enemies of our 
 sect should take occasion to speak reproach- 
 fully of us, as if we were men of like passions 
 with others. 
 
 I would therefore, counsel you to go imme- 
 diately with my recommendation to Beth- 
 phage, to consult your parents, and commis- 
 sion your mother to provide her a refuge in 
 the house, and under the instructions of some 
 pious matron of our sect ; and when she is 
 safely fixed in her situation, it will be neces- 
 sary for you to refrain from visiting her, from 
 a prudent regard to that reputation for sanc- 
 tity you have acquired." 
 
 Thus directed and sanctioned I went home, 
 and found my parents, on hearing my narra- 
 tion, and the conclusions of the wise and 
 learned Gamaliel, very readily agreed to 
 assist in the affair; and my mother said, that 
 if I could find means to conduct Nirza to 
 their house, she should remain there concealed 
 under her own protection, till the search her 
 enraged father would probably make for her 
 was over, and then she would provide her 
 such a situation as she desired. 
 
15 
 
 On hearing this I returned to the college, 
 and retiring to my study, after a long prayer 
 I wrote a letter to my young proselyte, to 
 have it in readiness to deliver to her servant 
 when she should call for it, to the following 
 effect: — 
 
 Daughter of the East, 
 
 Praised be the God of our Fathers, of Abraham, of Isaac, 
 and of Jacob, that he hath raised thee up as a second Ruth, 
 the Moabitess, who left her country, and her kindred, and the 
 gods of Moab, for his name's sake. 
 
 A safe and secret asylum is provided for thee in the house of 
 my mother, who will consider thee as her child, and tenderly 
 watch over and instruct thee, until she can safely place thee 
 under the care of one of our devout and ancient matrons, who 
 will with readiness employ all her leisure in giving thee instruc- 
 tion in the law of our God. 
 
 If therefore thou canst find a way to escape with \hy port- 
 able property, from thy father's house, in the darkness of the 
 evening, and come to the college where I will wait for thee, I 
 will be thy conductor to my mother, after which I will not see 
 thee, lest the daughters of the people, should take an occasion 
 from my visits to reproach thee on my account, for thy reputa- 
 tion as well as thy soul is dear to 
 
 Eleazar Ben Joseph. 
 
 On the following evening the maid servant 
 came to my lodgings, when I sent this letter 
 by her to her mistress, who soon after took 
 
16 
 
 the opportunity of her father's absence from 
 home, to come to me after sunset, accom- 
 panied by her maid who carried a casket of 
 very valuable jewels, when I conducted them 
 to Bethphage, where I left them to the care of 
 my mother, and returned to my studies. 
 
 When I had completed my education I re- 
 turned to my father's house, where Nirza 
 still remained, my mother to whom she had 
 endeared herself by her amiable conduct being 
 unwilling to part with so agreeable a guest, 
 especially as she had brought with her more 
 than sufficient for her support in gems, and 
 also, because the retired situation of her house 
 afforded her the best asylum from the fury of 
 her father, who enraged at her elopement and 
 the religious cause to which he justly attri- 
 buted it, vowed if he could discover her re- 
 treat, he would sacrifice her to his country 
 gods. My father's house was situated on the 
 brow of an eminence on the left hand of the 
 village, at a considerable distance from the 
 public road, and commanded an extensive 
 and delightful prospect from the front win- 
 dows ; a lovely vale enlivened with many of 
 
17 
 
 the country seats of the opulent inhabitants of 
 Jerusalem lay just before it, beautified with 
 the many windings of the brook Cedron, 
 skirted with meadows clad in luxuriant her- 
 bage and white with bleating flocks; beyond, 
 the rising hills which surrounded the holy 
 city just afforded a glimpse of its glittering 
 spires above their summits ; behind the house 
 lay our paternal fields enclosed with verdant 
 quicksets of aromatic shrubs, and through the 
 midst of them a gravel walk between two 
 rows of spreading palms led to the impervi- 
 ous coppice which was the boundary of our 
 possessions ; then by several easy and grace- 
 ful turns directed those who followed it to a 
 rustic seat in the thickest part of the wood, 
 where remote from the noise and bustle of 
 the busy world, I delighted often to retire and 
 attend to my devotions and my studies. 
 
 On a charming summer morning as I arose 
 before the sun for the purpose, I was sur- 
 prised on approaching the secluded bower to 
 find early as the hour was, that my fair pro- 
 selyte was there, she was seated on the turf 
 and her arm resting on the seat, supported her 
 
18 
 
 cheek with her left hand, while she was looking 
 with fixed attention on a book which she held 
 in her right hand, and appeared absorbed in 
 profound meditation. 
 
 As in pursuance to the advice of Gamaliel 
 I had hitherto since my return to Bethphage, 
 studiously avoided all particular conversation 
 with her, and never seen her but in the com- 
 pany of my parents, I would now have retired 
 and left her to her own contemplations, but I 
 found that she had perceived me, I therefore 
 drew near enough to see that the book she held 
 was a copy of the prophets, and asked her, 
 which of our holy seers she was reading. She 
 replied, the prophecy of Isaiah, and I have just 
 met with a passage which has surprised and 
 perplexed me, and contains some sacred 
 mystery which my feeble mind cannot com- 
 prehend, and I am glad you are come that I 
 may be favoured with your comment upon it. 
 Whom can this be of whom the prophet says, 
 " He hath borne our griefs and carried our 
 sorrows, and the Lord hath laid on him the 
 iniquity of us all?" 
 
 I answered that some of our learned Rab- 
 
19 
 
 bies had supposed it to be the mournful pro- 
 phet Jeremiah, who recorded the sorrows of 
 captive Israel in his lamentations, but that 
 others expounded it to refer to Ezekiel who 
 was commanded of God to lie on his side and 
 bear the iniquities of the children of Israel for 
 certain days. 
 
 " It does not become me," said she, " an 
 ignorant proselyte of a few days, to contro- 
 vert such authorities, but I frankly acknow- 
 ledge that it struck my mind forcibly that your 
 expected Messiah was intended by the holy 
 man of God in this description, as there is a 
 dignity annexed to the character of the 
 sufferer which seems to me too great to be 
 applied to any ordinary prophet." 
 
 " O beware," said I earnestly, " my dear 
 Nirza, of delusion, it is quite imp6ssible 
 that our Messiah can be intended, as he is 
 uniformly pointed out to be a victorious con- 
 queror sitting on the throne of his father 
 David, and rendering all the kingdoms of the 
 earth tributary to the favoured nation of 
 Israel." 
 
 This answer satisfied the mind of my 
 
20 
 
 young disciple, but yet I acknowledge it was 
 not entirely satisfactory to myself, the idea 
 she had started, new as it was to me, puzzled 
 my mind, and occasioned some uneasy 
 thoughts, for I saw plainly that our past his- 
 tory afforded no instance of any person to 
 whom the whole of the description in the con- 
 text was fully applicable. 
 
 However, I concealed my perplexity on 
 this head from the proselyted maid, and 
 turned the conversation to the subject of her 
 own merit in forsaking the house and relin- 
 quishing the inheritance of her father, for the 
 sake of the God of Israel, and the great re- 
 ward she might expect from him on that 
 account. 
 
 The human heart readily accepts the in- 
 crease of praise, and soon believes it, a just 
 tribute to its native worth, and hence every 
 individual of our fallen race possesses by 
 nature a pharisaic heart : the conversion of an 
 heathen to a pharisee, lay within the power of 
 natural principles, not so the conversion of 
 either from nature to grace ; a clue was now 
 put into each of our hands, but it did not lead 
 
21 
 
 either the proselyte or the Rabbi one step to- 
 wards the Christ of God. 
 
 However a link in the chain of wondrous 
 providences which have attended me all my 
 life was closely connected (though I was ig- 
 norant of the divine purpose) with the con- 
 versation. 
 
 I had till that instant regarded my young 
 friend in no other point of view than as an im- 
 mortal being, who had been rescued by my 
 means from a state of heathenish idolatry, 
 and taught to worship the God of Israel ; and 
 while I blindly imagined the change which 
 had taken place in her sentiments, had en- 
 titled her to the divine favour, I considered my- 
 self as the cause of it, and as being on that 
 account ennobled the more, and possessed of a 
 right to expect still higher honours in the 
 coming kingdom of our great Messiah ; but 
 while we were now engaged in conversation, 
 I was almost insensibly led to view her as a 
 women, young, lovely in person, amiable in 
 manners, intelligent in mind, and in want of 
 a protector ; and I immediately began to en- 
 tertain a desire to become the guide and pro- 
 
22 
 
 tector she needed in a strange land, however, 
 I carefully avoided giving the most distant 
 hint of the commencing tenderness I felt for 
 her, either to herself or to my parents, as I 
 was desirous of consulting my tutor, whom I 
 reverenced as an oracle, and also my friend 
 Saul, to whose judgment I paid almost an 
 equal reverence. I therefore endeavoured to 
 shorten the interview, and after some general 
 conversation conducted her to the house. 
 
 On the same day I went to Jerusalem, and 
 meeting Gamaliel and Saul together, I stated 
 my views to them, assuring them that I dis- 
 trusted my own judgment in an affair wherein 
 the heart was concerned, and therefore was 
 determined to take no step without their con- 
 currence. , 
 
 The venerable sage, after pausing a consi- 
 derable time, in silence at length acknow- 
 ledged, " that he felt some doubts concerning 
 the propriety of a man of my excellent cha- 
 racter forming such a connection, with one 
 who was not a Jewess by birth, though he 
 owned that there could be no other reason- 
 able objection to our union." 
 
Saul with his usual warmth replied, " that 
 much as he revered the opinion of his tutor, he 
 could not consider the objection as of any 
 weight, while he recollected the marriage of 
 Boaz with Ruth the Moabitess, and that of 
 Solomon with the proselyted Egyptian prin- 
 cess, both which were recorded with approba- 
 tion, though the nations whence they sprang 
 were avowed enemies of Israel, which could 
 not be said of the Indian tribes — and that 
 though he would not, if in his power, attempt 
 to supplant his friend, yet he should have felt 
 himself happy had he been in my place." 
 
 My tutor after thinking over Saul's argu- 
 ment drawn from such examples, said, " that 
 he concurred with him, and conceived that if 
 my parents (to whom he advised me immedi- 
 ately to communicate my views) gave their 
 free consent, he did not see but that I had a 
 right to indulge an affection for one he be- 
 lieved so worthy of it as Nirza." 
 
 Thus encouraged I returned home and find- 
 ing my mother alone, I asked her what were 
 her designs respecting the future residence of 
 her guest. 
 
24 
 
 She replied, " that she was so much de- 
 lighted with her company, that she could not 
 think of parting with her, but wished me to 
 consider her as a sister, for both my father 
 and herself should ever look on her as a 
 daughter, and as such had agreed to make a 
 provision for her in the event of their de- 
 cease." 
 
 " And what my dear mother," said I, " if 
 I regard her already in a dearer light than a 
 sister, would you or my father object to make- 
 ing her at once your daughter, and the wife of 
 your son ?" 
 
 " Eleazar," said she, " we have already 
 conversed on the subject, and if she had been 
 born of Abraham, it would have been the ob- 
 ject of our warmest wishes, but what would 
 your wise instructor say of Rabbi Eleazar be- 
 coming the husband of one descended from 
 uncircumcised ancestors." 
 
 " I make this humble application," replied 
 I, " for your consent, with the concurrence 
 and by the advice of Gamaliel." 
 
 " It is enough," said my mother; " your 
 father, as well as I, will be delighted with 
 
25 
 
 the connection, but till the cruel father of 
 Nirza is departed, it may be most prudent in 
 you not to communicate your wishes to her," 
 to which I readily submitted. 
 
 Calanus having in vain made the most 
 diligent search he possibly could for his 
 daughter, at length left Judea, and departed 
 for his own country in a violent rage, uttering 
 many most horrid imprecations against the 
 God of Israel and his religion, which he sup 
 posed her attachment to, had occasioned her 
 leaving him, and as soon after I was certain 
 of his departure, I made known the state of 
 my heart to my beloved Indian, whose grate- 
 nil mind was easily impressed with senti- 
 ments of the most tender and affectionate 
 regard for one, to whose instructions she con- 
 sidered herself indebted for all her hopes of 
 future happiness. 
 
 It is reasonable therefore to suppose, that 
 our mutual felicity was no longer delayed 
 than a due regard to all those forms and 
 ceremonies, which either the law, the com- 
 ments of our doctors, the oral traditions of 
 the elders, or the customs of the most devout 
 c 
 
26 
 
 of our sect, rendered in my view, indispensibly 
 necessary, and from which, even in the nicest 
 punctilio, I would not have deviated on any 
 account whatever; accordingly, after a pre- 
 vious solemn betrothment in the presence of 
 my parents and other relatives, with the ex- 
 ception of a kinsman or two whom I consi- 
 dered as tainted with the Sadducean heresy, 
 and therefore would not invite as witnesses, 
 lest their signatures should contaminate the 
 deed of betrothment, our nuptials were 
 solemnized with much pomp and ceremony 
 just before the commencement of the Pass- 
 over. 
 
 As in consequence of my recent marriage 
 I did not remain in Jerusalem during the 
 feast, only went thither daily to join in tne 
 public worship of the temple, and immedi- 
 ately returned to Bethphage, I was the less 
 interested in the awful transactions that took 
 place in the condemnation and death of 
 Jesus. 
 
 However from the influence of those prin- 
 ciples whereby I was governed, I could not 
 refuse the tribute of my cordial approbation 
 
27 
 
 to the pious zeal of our Sanhedrim, in pursu- 
 ing those vigorous measures which, I doubted 
 not, would totally destroy the imposture, and 
 was only grieved, that the blind delusion, as 
 I supposed it to be, of Joseph and Nicode- 
 mus, had prevented complete unanimity in 
 the proceedings of the venerably assembly. 
 
 On the night of that day when Jesus was 
 crucified, when I engaged in the worship of 
 the family at Bethphage, I well remember 
 that I addressed the God of our fathers in this 
 impious manner, 
 
 " Yes, God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of 
 Jacob, who hast chosen Jerusalem and the 
 Temple, to put thy name there, thou art 
 righteous — thou hast avenged thyself on thine 
 enemy! We adore thee, O great Jehovah, 
 that thou hast strengthened the holy guardians 
 of thy laws to execute thy vengeance on the 
 daring Nazarene, who durst threaten destruc- 
 tion to our sacred place, and hereby enabled 
 us, by this most hojy work, to merit the con- 
 tinuance of thy favour to Israel, to which we 
 had obtained, before this crowning act of holy 
 zeal, a much higher claim than our early an- 
 c 2 
 
28 
 
 cestors, by our remaining free from idolatry 
 ever since our fathers returned from Babylon, 
 and since we zealously punish blasphemers 
 of thy Temple, we beseech thee, O Adonai, 
 to reward the good deeds of thy servants, by 
 sending the Messiah speedily, to crown us 
 with honour, victory, and universal dominion, 
 and to destroy the Roman tyranny from the 
 face of the earth !" 
 
 I had scarcely finished uttering this most 
 horrid prayer, when the conversation which I 
 had formerly held with my wife in the bower, 
 concerning the predictions of the prophet 
 Isaiah, suddenly occurred to my remem- 
 brance, and I was forcibly struck with the 
 recollection of the character of the illustrious 
 Sufferer described by the prophet, as bearing 
 a nearer resemblance to him, who was now 
 numbered with the transgressors, than it did 
 to any other person recorded in our history ; 
 but I strove indignantly to repel the rising 
 conviction as an horrid suggestion of the 
 tempter., for I saw the consequence of admit- 
 ting it, would be to forfeit at once all the san- 
 guine hopes I had entertained of filling some 
 
29 
 
 important and exalted station in the future 
 kingdom of the carnal Messiah, whose coming 
 we all expected, as the justly merited reward 
 of my imagined excellence. 
 
 The next day when I entered Jerusalem, 
 I met my friend Saul, who with exultation in 
 his countenance, congratulated me on the 
 death of the Deceiver, and on the prudence of 
 our ever watchful elders, in procuring a 
 watch, and setting a seal on his grave, to 
 prevent his disciples from removing the body, 
 and their pretending that he had fulfilled his 
 own prediction of rising from the dead. I 
 was equally pleased with him that these pru- 
 dent precautions had been taken to prevent 
 the possibility of future delusion, and we 
 fondly flattered ourselves with the hope, that 
 the Nazarene sect was for ever annihilated. 
 
 But on the morning of the first day of the 
 week, the tidings reached Bethphage that the 
 body was gone, and that the Roman soldiers 
 had slept on their post during its removal. 
 Unreasonable as this story was, so strong 
 were my prejudices, that I readily credited it, 
 and zealously propagated it among my ac- 
 c 3 
 
30 
 
 quaintance, though I could not satisfactorily 
 account for the existence of those extraordi- 
 nary prodigies that I had witnessed in the 
 darkness and earthquake that attended his 
 death, and the second more violent shock that 
 rent the rocks and opened the graves on the 
 morning that the body was missing from the 
 tomb. 
 
 The passing rumours that were circulated 
 in the <;iiy during the several following weeks 
 of his having been seen in different places by 
 a few of his own followers, I regarded as the 
 falsehoods of base wretches, in order to shield 
 themselves from the imputation of imposture; 
 and when at last it was asserted, though with 
 a degree of privacy, that he was ascended to 
 heaven, I considered it the very last effort of 
 an expiring faction, who being unable to pro- 
 duce him on earth, had framed this incredible 
 story. 
 
 An heart more completely filled, both with 
 vain ideas of its own virtues and excellencies, 
 and raging enmity and malice against the 
 very name of Jesus than mine, never pos- 
 sessed a human creature, and so far from my 
 
31 
 
 pride and hatred abating in consequence of 
 cool reflection, they seemed daily to gain 
 fresh accessions of strength, but on the me- 
 morable morning of the Feast of Pentecost, 
 after offering up a long prayer, in which I did 
 not fail to remind the Most High of my own 
 goodness, and especially of the high claim I 
 had to his peculiar favour on account of my 
 zeal against the impious Nazarene, though I 
 leavened it with an hypocritical compliment 
 to his assistance, whereby I had attained to 
 such heights of piety and virtue, I left my 
 house, filled with self-complacency, and pro- 
 ceeded to the city, in order to attend the so- 
 lemn worship of the Temple, when I was 
 surprised to behold an immense multitude, 
 •both of my own countrymen, and of the stran- 
 gers, who, from different countries resorted 
 to the feast, assembled in the spacious area 
 before the exchange, and surrounding about 
 a dozen plainly attired men, appearing as 
 fishers or bargemen, who with the greatest 
 earnestness, were conversing with those 
 around them in Latin, Greek, Hebrew, 
 Syriac, Arabic, and several other languages, 
 
32 
 
 though the men all discovered themselves by 
 their broad country tone and accent to be 
 Galileans. On drawing nearer and listening 
 to their conversation, while I admired the 
 facility with which they altered the lan- 
 guages, in which they were conversing to 
 others, as they saw the natives of different 
 countries attending to their discourse, and 
 while I was conscious that they could not 
 have had any opportunities of acquiring those 
 tongues by any human means of instruction 
 within their reach, I instantly attributed the 
 miracle to the same cause to which we had 
 before ascribed those wrought by Jesus 
 Christ, the influence of Beelzebub the prince 
 of the devils, and I was the more confirmed in 
 this opinion when I found that they were all 
 asserting that Jesus was the Christ, that he 
 was risen from the dead, and that they had 
 seen him ascend into heaven. 
 
 The spectators seemed very differently 
 affected by this strange and unprecedented 
 event — some were filled with surprise and 
 exclaimed, What can be the meaning of this 
 wonder ? how is it that men apparently un- 
 
33 
 
 lettered can thus speak in so many different 
 dialects ? while others mocking and redicul- 
 ing the speakers, for want of better arguments 
 wherewith to confute them, foolishly asserted 
 that what they saw and heard was only the 
 effect of drunkenness. 
 
 I should instantly, from the first impulse of 
 my feelings, have addressed the multitude to 
 caution them against being deluded by a lying 
 wonder ; but seeing one of the Galileans, a 
 rough hardy looking man, ascend the steps 
 of the Exchange, and beckon to the people to 
 bespeak their attention, I determined to give 
 him no interruption till he had concluded his 
 discourse, and then, by my superior ablities, 
 to confute him before the multitude. 
 
 When Peter (for he it was) had obtained 
 with difficulty, a degree of silence, with an 
 undaunted air, stretching out his right hand, 
 he began to address himself to his country- 
 men, and in particular to the inhabitants of 
 the city, observing the absurdity of their sup- 
 position that at so early an hour of the day, 
 himself or his companions should have had 
 opportunity to become intoxicated with wine, 
 c 3 
 
34 
 
 and if so, that which overpowers the intel- 
 lects of men could never have improved theirs, 
 and communicated to them in an instant, the 
 knowledge of languages they had never 
 learnt. 
 
 He then proposed, in plain and simple ex- 
 pressions, a solution of the case from the 
 predictions of the prophet Joel ; and glancing 
 through their own acknowledged sacred books, 
 he adduced a variety of proofs that Jesus was 
 the Messiah so long expected ; and having 
 charged his murder home to their consciences, 
 explained the design of his sufferings, pro- 
 duced the evidences of his resurrection, and 
 called them to repentance, on the ground of 
 his exaltation, to bestow forgiveness even on 
 his murderers. 
 
 During this discourse, which I found my- 
 self unable to resist or interrupt, I listened, 
 as did the greater part of the surrounding 
 multitude, with profound attention, and in 
 spite of my prejudices, I felt myself agitated 
 with surprising sensations ; the true character 
 of the God of Israel, of which I now saw I 
 had till this time been totally ignorant, rose 
 
35 
 
 at once before my view ; the amazing extent 
 and spotless purity of the divine law, and 
 the enormity of my guilt, in presenting a 
 proud heart and a life of merely external and 
 imperfect performances, in answer to its de- 
 mands, struck me with horror at myself, and I 
 stood astonished at the divine forbearance in 
 sparing so long a guilty rebel ; and while I 
 perceived in the prophecies and sacrifices which 
 I had so long been constantly conversant with, 
 (though such was the blindness of my heart 
 that I had never discovered it till now) that 
 divinity of character and intenseness of suffer- 
 ings were evidently pointed out as the distin 
 guishing marks of the Messiah ; and recollected 
 the circumstances before-mentioned, when 
 this light had shone on the darkness of my 
 heart, but the darkness comprehended it not. 
 I also beheld, in the object of my former ab- 
 horrence and contempt, the crucified Naza- 
 rine, every predicted characteristic of the long- 
 expected Redeemer of Israel. I regarded 
 myself as a monster of enmity and incredulity ; 
 but in his obedience and sacrifice I saw the 
 richest encouragement for the vilest of sinners 
 
36 
 
 to approach to the throne of God, depending 
 on him as the end of the law for righteous- 
 ness. The glory of his life and work rushed 
 on my soul with irresistible energy, and the 
 tears of penitential gratitude bedewed my 
 cheeks. 
 
 No longer could I retain my fancied su- 
 periority over Sadducees and Publicans ; I saw 
 myself on a level with the worst of those charac- 
 ters on whom I had been so long accustomed 
 to look down with hatred and contempt, and 
 while I felt a new and ardent sentiment of 
 fraternal affection arise in my soul to all 
 those who, like me, had been led to see that 
 they could derive hope towards God from no 
 other source than the atonement made to his 
 injured justice by the crucified Redeemer ; I 
 regarded with the feelings of benevolent pity 
 the most adverse characters. 
 
 Before Peter had concluded his address, I 
 was too much absorbed in attention to be 
 capable of noticing any of the objects around 
 me ; but soon after he had ceased speaking, 
 I lifted up my eyes, and began to regard the 
 effect produced by his words on the multitude, 
 
37 
 
 who in general appeared to be struck with 
 new amazement; on many countenances 
 were visibly painted the tokens of deep com- 
 punction and distress, and on others, those of 
 surprising joy and grateful adoration. 
 
 Close by my side, though I had not ob- 
 served him before, I saw standing Rabbi 
 Joachim Ben Melchi, a relation of my father, 
 but one who had professed the doctrine of 
 the Sadducees, on which account a mutual 
 enmity had long subsisted between us. On 
 perceiving me, he instantly held out his hand 
 towards me, crying out, " O my dear kins- 
 man Eleazar, we have all been blind to the 
 sense of those mysterious truths which the 
 prophets taught ; but none have erred so 
 deeply as we have, who denied the resurrec- 
 tion ; but now I see and know that Jesus is 
 the Christ, that he is risen from the dead, 
 yea, and in him alone sinners have life 
 eternal." 
 
 " Dear Joachim," I replied with tears, 
 " my kinsman, my brother, my friend, how 
 did our blind zeal render us all inveterate 
 enemies to each other ; but no wonder, since 
 
we were all enemies to the God of Israel, 
 and despisers of his Son, the great Messiah ; 
 but since we have now beheld his glory, and 
 found a sure foundation of hope in the 
 righteousness of him whom we rejected, let 
 our hearts be for ever one, and let us joyfully 
 unite in professing the glorious truth concern- 
 ing Jesus the Redeemer, whatever earthly 
 interest or gratification we may be exposed 
 to the loss of by that profession." While we 
 were thus speaking, Jonathan the publican 
 drew near, and thus accosted us ; — 
 
 " I should not, a few hours since, have 
 ventured to intrude into the company of either 
 of you, as I was no stranger to the contempt 
 in which men of my description were held 
 by both Pharisees and Sadducees, but I have 
 heard a part of your conversation, and rejoice 
 to find thereby that you, like myself, have felt 
 that divine power which has accompanied the 
 word spoken by the disciple of Jesus, and 
 therefore I can now call you, in the tenderest 
 affection, my dear brethren in that precious 
 Saviour. O ! my friends, what Almighty 
 energy is there in that blood that has cemented 
 
39 
 
 such malicious enemies as we lately were in 
 eternal friendship: but let us hasten to the 
 man of God, and enquire for directions how 
 we may live to glorify him who was cut off 
 from the land of the living, that such sinners 
 as we are might be written among the living 
 in Jerusalem." 
 
 I said nothing, but caught his hand with the 
 pressure of affection, and we all ran eagerly 
 towards the disciples, and joined the exclama- 
 tion of multitudes affected in the same manner 
 with ourselves, saying to Peter and his com- 
 panions, " Men and brethren, what shall we 
 do?" He replied, with an energetic tone, 
 " Repent and be baptized, every one of you, 
 as a symbol of the remission of all your 
 transgressions, and you shall participate with 
 us in the free gift of the sacred Spirit, who is 
 this day descended upon us, through the in- 
 tercession of Jesus the Christ, at the right 
 hand of God the Father ; for the promise of 
 God to Abraham is now fulfilled to you and 
 to your children ; yea, and enlarged to all 
 who are afar off, even to all who are called to 
 
40 
 
 repentance on the foundation of these glad 
 tidings." 
 
 Hereunto we joyfully assented, and with three 
 thousand of our fellows, who, like us, gladly 
 received the word, were baptized with water, 
 which Peter and the other apostles poured on 
 us, in the name of the Father, of the Son, 
 and of the Holy Spirit. 5 * 
 
 Those who remained in their state of igno- 
 rance and prejudice had now removed them- 
 selves to a considerable distance in disdain, 
 and were ridiculing us while we were praying 
 for them ; while all the converted, as soon as 
 they had left us together, surrounded the 
 apostles, and listened with delight to their 
 further instructions in the doctrine of the cru- 
 cified Redeemer. 
 
 After several happy hours spent in con- 
 versation on the wonders of grace, and in 
 earnest supplications and praises to the 
 Saviour, we began to separate, in order to 
 return to our respective avocations, having 
 
 • See Acts i. 5, compared with Acts ii. 16, 17, for the 
 true meaning of the word baptize in Scripture. 
 
41 
 
 been previously directed by the apostles to 
 meet again at a certain hour the next day. 
 
 It is impossible for me to attempt a de- 
 scription of the complicated feelings which 
 agitated my heart as I turned towards the 
 gate which led towards Bethphage, though 
 the recollection warms my inmost soul at the 
 present moment — transporting joy, deep self- 
 abhorrence, grateful affection to the Saviour, 
 mingled with tender pity and anxious soli- 
 citude on account of my dearest connexions, 
 alternately overwhelmed my mind, and as I 
 slowly proceeded along the road, I began to 
 deliberate with myself what method I should 
 pursue in communicating the glad tidings of 
 salvation to my wife and parents ; and after 
 most earnestly beseeching the Saviour for di- 
 rection and success, I determined, if I could 
 procure their attention, simply to relate the 
 facts w T hich had occurred that day, and then 
 refer to that prophecy of Esaias which Nirza 
 had formerly applied to the Messiah, as both 
 a proof and illustration of them. 
 
 When I entered the door, my beloved re- 
 ceived me with every token of affectionate 
 
42 
 
 tenderness, and remarked the extraordinary 
 cheerfulness of my countenance with a smile, 
 saying, " The habitual serenity of your ap- 
 pearance, my dear Eleazar, daily discovers 
 your enjoyment of that inward peace which 
 must ever be tht reward of piety so exem- 
 plary as yours ; but you look now, if I may 
 judge by the joy that beams from your eyes, 
 as if you came the bearer of some peculiarly 
 joyful news." 
 
 " Yes," replied I, " my best beloved, my 
 dearer self, I am indeed the happy messenger 
 of glad tidings to you — glad tidings of great 
 joy to all people — tidings from heaven, for 
 the God of Abraham hath visited and re- 
 deemed his ^people — the long-expected hope 
 of Israel has at length appeared — the great 
 Messiah is come, and hath ascended to the 
 throne of his father David ; of he increase of 
 his government and power there shall be no 
 end, for unto us a Child is born, unto us a 
 Son is given, and his name shall be called 
 Wonderful, Counsellor, the Mighty God, the 
 Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace." 
 
 " These are indeed," said myNirza, "joy- 
 
43 
 
 ful tidings to Israel. O tell us all the parti- 
 culars of his wonderful appearance, and how 
 he is made known to us. What is the form 
 in which he appears ? Has he descended 
 visibly from heaven, attended by angels, to 
 the holy temple, to reward the piety and zeal 
 of our priests and rulers, in executing his 
 righteous vengeance on the blasphemous 
 Nazarine?" 
 
 " Ah, my dearest spouse," returned I, " it 
 is not at all surprising to me that you should 
 form such a conclusion from my words, for a 
 few hours ago I should have viewed such in- 
 telligence, had I received it, in the same light 
 with you ; but permit me earnestly to intreat, 
 for a few short moments, your silent atten- 
 tion, and that of my revered parents, to the 
 wondrous facts I have to acquaint you with. ; 
 and though, perhaps, some of them may not 
 only surprise but offend you, yet I beseech 
 you to permit me to finish my relation before 
 you reply. 
 
 My Nirza well remembers the conversation 
 we held in the bow T er a considerable time 
 before our union, respecting the prophecies 
 
44 
 
 of Isaiah, and her own supposition, which I 
 controverted at the time, of their reference 
 to the Messiah. Ah, surely ! that thought 
 was inspired by the same Spirit who dictated 
 the words of the prophecy to the holy seer ; 
 but blinded by my carnal notions of the great 
 Messiah's reign, and influenced by a self- 
 righteous and worldly spirit, I was then 
 totally incapable of discerning its truth, 
 though I now honestly confess, that at some 
 times, as I remember well, it would recur to 
 my mind with considerable force, and afford 
 me a momentary pang of suspicion, lest I 
 might possibly be mistaken ; but now I be- 
 hold the truth and glory of those and many 
 other prophecies, which then were to me 
 totally obscure. No, my dear friends, the 
 Messiah did not come to reward the piety of 
 any in Jerusalem, for, alas ! truth was fallen 
 in our streets, and equity could not enter ; 
 the proud were accounted happy, and he who 
 departed from evil made himself a prey ; he 
 came to be despised and rejected of men, to 
 be wounded for our transgressions, to be 
 bruised for our iniquities ; to be cut off, but 
 
45 
 
 not for himself; to finish the transgression, 
 to make an end of sin, to bring in everlasting 
 righteousness, and to make reconciliation for 
 iniquity : he was unknown to Israel, though 
 pointed out by a thousand infallible marks in 
 the sacred writings of Moses and the pro- 
 phets, till on this day he has sent down the 
 promised Spirit from on high: these eyes 
 have seen the mighty wonders wrought by 
 his name ; and these ears have heard the un- 
 learned men, who are inspired by him, de- 
 clare the glories of Immanuel, in all the 
 various languages spoken by the proselytes 
 who were at the feast. Yes, and convinced 
 by his Almighty power, I declare unto you, 
 that Jesus, the crucified Nazarine, is the Son 
 of God — the long-desired and expected king 
 of Israel ! " 
 
 I paused — astonishment had hitherto held 
 them silent, but now my father, with indig- 
 nation flashing from his eyes, exclaimed 
 aloud, " God of our Fathers ! is it possible ? 
 Can this be the son in whom I prided myself 
 so much ? Can this be he whom all Jerusa- 
 lem admired as a prodigy of wisdom and 
 
46 
 
 piety at so early an age ? Is he indeed be- 
 come so suddenly the dupe of infatuation — 
 the disciple of that detestable Impostor whose 
 influence even on the mob ceased with his 
 life ; or has some demon of the pit assumed 
 Ins form to distract me ? Hence !" added he, 
 with vehemence, " vile wretch, I tear thee 
 for ever from my heart, and command thee 
 from my house, which shall no longer afford 
 a shelter to a rebel to his country and an 
 apostate to his God ; prepare instantly, there- 
 fore, to leave thy paternal abode, which thy 
 presence pollutes, and herd with those infa- 
 tuated wretches, who, like thee, adore a 
 deceiver. Instead of thee, Nirza, whose hus- 
 band thou art unworthy to be styled any 
 longer, shall possess our sole regard, and 
 inherit the patrimony thou hast so justly for- 
 feited. Fly instantly, or I will repair to the 
 Sanhedrim and deliver thee up to their 
 righteous vengeance!" 
 
 " Ah, my dear father," said I, " your 
 threatenings have no effect to intimidate a 
 soul that feels the support which a Saviour's 
 grace affords to his followers ; but I weep for 
 
47 
 
 you who are still deluded, as I was till this 
 day, by that blind conceit which influences 
 you to reject the Christ of God. I will leave 
 this loved abode ; I will not any longer of- 
 fend your sight ; but never will I cease, while 
 my life remains, to pray for you, that you 
 may know and taste the salvation of God, 
 and that your sins may be blotted out through 
 the virtue of that precious blood which was 
 shed for many for the remission of sins. 
 
 " But O my dearest Nirza, (seeing her 
 weep) what think you of Christ? Can it be 
 possible that you and my dear mother re- 
 main in that state of blindness in which I 
 was so long held concerning those truths 
 which the prophets have told us ?" 
 
 My mother did not reply, but cast on me 
 a look of such horror and contempt that dis- 
 covered every spark of maternal tenderness 
 to be extinguished in her bosom. But my 
 beloved, my amiable spouse, after a pause, 
 during which her changing countenance dis- 
 played inward emotion, at length brake 
 silence, and addressing my father, said, 
 " Suffer me, my dearest parent, to represent 
 
48 
 
 to you, that though I am equally struck with 
 surprise and terror as yourself, at the strange 
 delusion that has infatuated my Eleazar, yet 
 I can never forget him as the pious youth 
 whose divine eloquence first attracted my at- 
 tention, and drew me from the vain worship of 
 the idols of the heathens, and led me to adore 
 the God of Israel. Time, and your wise 
 reasoning will, I doubt not, shortly con- 
 vince him of the error he has embraced, and 
 restore him to me as the guide of my youth. 
 
 " O, my dear parents, be not hasty in 
 adopting violent measures to reclaim a once- 
 loved wanderer ; do not, I entreat, I conjure 
 you, banish from the abode of such loved and 
 honoured parents the dear, though misguided 
 man to whom, with your own approbation, I 
 have vowed eternal affection, and from whom 
 I will never be separated but by death." 
 
 " Then," returned my inflexible father, 
 raising his voice to a tremendous pitch, " you 
 may go with him ; for, by the God of our 
 father Abraham, he shall not remain another 
 hour in this house !" 
 
 As I saw it utterly useless to attempt over- 
 
49 
 
 cOming the stubborn temper of my relentless 
 father, I began to pack up some change of 
 raiment for myself and my wife, and taking 
 what little money I possessed, (for Nirza's 
 cabinet of jewels was not offered us, nor did 
 either of us think of demanding it,) I pre- 
 pared to leave the place of my nativity, and 
 my Nirza in silence followed me to the door, 
 when, kneeling down on the threshold, with 
 streaming eyes and elevated hands, I cried, 
 " Jesus, Saviour, now ascended to the throne 
 of thy glory, will thou, who didst on the 
 cross implore forgiveness for thy murderers, 
 intercede also for those dear deluded pa- 
 rents whom I leave, and give them to partake 
 of thy salvation." Then rising slowly, I took 
 my bundle of clothes on one arm, and silently 
 giving the other to Nirza, we walked towards 
 the valley. 
 
 Some time had elapsed before either of us 
 were capable of speaking, at length, in a voice 
 interrupted by sobs and tears, I thus began ; — 
 
 " My heart, amiable woman, feels, ten- 
 derly feels this most evident proof of your 
 sincere affection for your husband ; and I 
 D 
 
50 
 
 rejoice in the possession of an heart like yours 
 more than I should in the empire of a world ; 
 but far greater would be my delight could I 
 hear you acknowledge the full conviction of 
 your soul that, till this happy day, I, with all 
 my knowledge, was as blind to the true glory 
 of the God of my fathers, as you were while 
 worshipping images in your native land. 
 Yes, my beloved, we have all been awfully 
 ignorant of the intention of the Mosaic insti- 
 tutions, which were calculated to instruct us 
 in the knowledge of a most abasing truth, 
 that amid all our imagined sanctity, we were 
 polluted, guilty, and condemned criminals, 
 and that it is only in the perfect righteousness 
 of the holy Lamb of God, who was sacrificed 
 on the cross, that we can be justified in his 
 sight." 
 
 " My dearest husband," she replied, " I 
 certainly love you dearer than my life, but I 
 cannot avoid the suspicion, that your present, 
 instead of your former views are delusive. 
 Can you have forgotten the wise answers you 
 gave to my mistaken thoughts on the prophe- 
 cies, which set my heart at rest ? and are you 
 
51 
 
 so suddenly moved from your former sted- 
 fastness ? O think again ; is ,it possible that 
 all your wise and good men should be totally 
 deceived, and a few poor illiterate Galileans 
 be wiser than all the elders and priests V 
 
 " Much as I regret," said I, " my blind ob- 
 stinacy, it is no surprise to me that the wisest 
 men of Israel were deluded, while I remem- 
 ber that the pride of wisdom had made me a 
 fool, and the vain imagination of my own 
 righteousness concealed the righteousness of 
 God from my view ; but let me intreat my 
 beloved wife ta search the writings of the 
 prophets again, with an unbiassed attention, 
 and compare them with the wonders that are 
 come to pass in these days, and may the 
 Saviour himself enlighten you, and give you 
 to behold his glory ; then will my heart feel 
 a more transporting rapture than on that 
 happy day which first united us to each other 
 in lasting bonds."' 
 
 " But, my Eleazar," rejoined she, " on 
 what ground can I expect the God of Israel 
 to grant me his favour, if my relinquishing 
 d2 
 
52 
 
 my father's house and affluence for his sake 
 has merited nothing of him ?" 
 
 " On his account, my Nirza, who alone is 
 capable of meriting any thing of his Father, 
 the Son of God, who, by his obedience unto 
 death, hath magnified the law, and made it 
 honourable." 
 
 " I cannot understand," she returned hastily, 
 " how the worth of another can be of any ad- 
 vantage to us ; your words to me appear 
 destitute of meaning ; let me therefore, at 
 least for the present, intreat you to cease 
 from a subject I am incapable of conversing 
 on, and consider where, under our destitute 
 circumstances, we are to take up our abode 
 for the night." 
 
 " I have a dear friend and brother," said I, 
 in the Sheep Market, near the Pool, from 
 whom I am confident we shall meet with a 
 kind and welcome reception, for the sake of 
 that Saviour who, while on ea^th, had not 
 where to lay his head." 
 
 I led her to the house of Joachim, our cou- 
 sin j and knocked at the gate ; Joachim him- 
 
53 
 
 self coming to open it, she started at the 
 sight of him, and turning aside, whispered 
 me, "Eleazar, is not this the Sadducee, 
 against whose pernicious tenets you have 
 warned me ?" 
 
 " He was so, my love," returned I softly, 
 " but we are now one in Christ Jesus, and 
 here you will see another proof of Messiah's 
 wondrous power." 
 
 " Brother Joachim," said I, " my mistaken 
 parent has this evening banished me from his 
 house, in consequence of my having professed 
 my faith in the Redeemer of Israel, and though 
 my dear spouse has not yet seen the glory of 
 the Messiah, she has accompanied her exiled 
 husband from the influence of her affectionate 
 tenderness ; and we are now come to seek 
 an asylum in your habitation : will you re- 
 ceive the strangers as our father Abraham 
 received the unknown angels of old ?" 
 
 " Yes, my dear brother Eleazar," replied 
 he, " to my house and to my heart, with the 
 sincerest delight; and it rejoices my soul 
 that the blessed Redeemer has so soon afforded 
 me an opportunity of manifesting my love to 
 
54 
 
 his name, which has united us in one ; and it 
 encourages me to hope that he will be merci- 
 ful to your beloved wife, and shew her his 
 glory. Come in, my dearest friends, and I 
 will introduce you to my Joanna, who has 
 this evening received the word of Christ with 
 joy, and we have been worshipping him toge- 
 ther; but what will afford you, Eleazar, 
 greater pleasure, you will presently see 
 Thomas, one of the apostles of Jesus, who 
 has promised to sup with me to-night." 
 
 We entered, and after some little conversa- 
 tion, Thomas the apostle came in, saying, with 
 the smile of unfeigned benevolence on his 
 countenance, " Peace be unto you, in the 
 name of Jesus the Prince of Peace." 
 
 " Holy disciple of our risen Lord," said 
 my kinsman, " I recommend to you, this 
 my dear relative and my brother in Christ, 
 who has been already dignified with con- 
 formity to his Saviour in becoming a willing 
 sufferer for the truth, being expelled from his 
 father's house for professing his faith in the 
 Redeemer, and who is come with his wife to 
 seek an asylum with me." 
 
55 
 
 m 1 remember well," said Thomas, * that 
 Jesus said unto us long ago, " there is no 
 man that hath left father, or mother, or wife, 
 or children, or houses, or lands, for my sake 
 and the gospel, but shall receive an hundred 
 fold in this life with persecutions, and in the 
 world to come everlasting life. But why, 
 Joachim, didst thou call me holy ? was it to 
 bring to my remembrance my unbelief, and 
 the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ to me, 
 an ungrateful sinner ? which I will now relate 
 for your instruction, and especially on thy 
 account, my daughter (to Nirza) that thou 
 who as yet knowest him not, mayest be con- 
 vinced, as I was, and believe on the Son of 
 God." 
 
 We were all struck with astonishment at 
 this address ; but my wife especially was 
 overcome with surprise to find the inspired 
 apostle acquainted with her state, and we all 
 listened to him with profound attention, 
 while he thus proceeded : 
 
 " Though our dear Lord Jesus had called 
 me to be with him, though I had heard him 
 speak as never man spake, and had been 
 
56 
 
 sent forth by him to preach his gospel, to cast 
 out devils, and to do many wonderful works ; 
 yet I confess with shame my ignorance and 
 blindness, in not understanding the many 
 clear predictions which he gave us concerning 
 his sufferings, death, and resurrection ; and 
 that when his enemies had nailed him to the 
 cross, my soul was overwhelmed with dismal 
 despairing apprehensions. I began to think 
 that I had been deceived by him, and that all 
 my hopes of happiness were gone for ever ; 
 for I was certain that if Jesus was not the 
 Messiah, it was absolutely impossible that 
 any one should arise who could, by plainer, 
 by more evident marks, prove himself to be 
 so, and therefore the expectation of the Fa- 
 thers, with all the glorious consequences 
 connected with it, was vain. I even began 
 to doubt the divine mission of Moses ; nay, 
 to such a height of infidelity was I arrived, 
 that I could not firmly believe the existence 
 of the God of Israel. 
 
 " Ah, who would envy the happiness of 
 an infidel ? The soul wants a support suited 
 to its own nature, and can find it only in the in* 
 
57 
 
 finite God : but my only prop was gone ; I felt 
 as falling into a bottomless abyss of endless 
 confusion and perplexity ; inconceivable mi- 
 sery took possession of every power of my 
 soul, and I could not possibly conceive any 
 thing in the circle of universal existence from 
 whence I could attain even an alleviation of 
 the excruciating tortures of my mind. 
 
 " Unfit for any of the enjoyments of society, 
 and abhorring my very being, I avoided the 
 company of all mankind ; I sought out the 
 most gloomy and sequestered walks ; I wished 
 to obtain an asylum in some horrid cavern, 
 inhabited only by toads and serpents, whose 
 hissing and croaking, accompanied with the 
 howling of the tempests, suited my sensa- 
 tions of woe. Thus miserable, I wandered 
 about in solitude during the two last days of 
 the week, and the whole glorious day of the 
 Saviour's resurrection. 
 
 " On the morning following I arose from my 
 sleepless couch, if possible, more deeply 
 wounded with despair than ever ; nothing but 
 a bare surmise that there might exist an 
 avenging deity able to inflict severer torments 
 d3 
 
58 
 
 than I now writhed under, restrained my 
 guilty hand from piercing my more guilty 
 heart. I crept slowly out at the nearest gate 
 of the city, and bent my course towards 
 Mount Olivet, when unexpectedly James 
 Lebbeus and Simon Zelotes appeared in sight, 
 and what amazed me was to see the smile 
 of celestial joy in their countenances, while 
 my pale and haggard looks plainly discovered 
 the raging lire within. Averse to all society, 
 I would have shunned their approach, but they 
 ran towards me with the eagerness of friend- 
 ship, telling me in hasty accents that the 
 Lord was risen from the dead ; that they had 
 seen him, and that, with his accustomed 
 affection, he had spoken peace to them. 
 
 " The mind, influenced by prejudice, has 
 no inclination coolly and impartially to exa- 
 mine evidence ; it receives or rejects a propo- 
 sition hastily, just as it first impresses the 
 imagination ; judgment and reason were never 
 truly engaged on the side of incredulity. I 
 heard their assertion, but it appeared so ab- 
 surd and incredible, that my wicked heart rose 
 against them with indignation for attempting 
 
59 
 
 to impose on me so barefaced a falsehood, 
 and I exclaimed vehemently, < Except I shall 
 see in his hands the print of the nails which 
 fastened him to the cross, and am made 
 sensible of their reality, not only by sight 
 but feeling, and thrust my hand into his side, 
 I will not believe/ Then hastily turning 
 from them, I retired, leaving them wrapt in 
 wonder and pity, and hid myself in the 
 thickest part of the olive grove, where I be- 
 moamed my remediless distress. 
 
 " During the whole of that-week, I conti- 
 nued in the same sceptical and disconsolate 
 state of mind, bewailing as dead, him in 
 whom my brethren were rejoicing as risen, 
 till on the return of the first day of the week 
 the tender-hearted John, in whose heart the 
 compassionate disposition of his Lord dwelt, 
 sought me out in my retreat, and by the 
 most affectionate and persevering intreaties 
 at last prevailed on me, though with much 
 difficulty, to accompany him to the house 
 where the other disciples of Jesus were al- 
 ready gathered together in an upper room, 
 praying, having shut the doors for fear of the 
 
60 
 
 Jews, when suddenly, without any previous 
 noise, or the opening of either of the doors, 
 the Lord Jesus stood up in the midst, and 
 said, ' Peace be unto you.' 
 
 " I was instantly struck with astonishment, 
 terror, and remorse, and I dreaded to look 
 upon him lest he should pronounce the dire- 
 ful sentence my unbelief deserved ; when 
 turning his benign countenance towards me 
 with a smile, in w T hich heaven appeared to 
 open, and in a voice tuned to more than ce- 
 lestial sweetness, he said, ' Thomas, reach 
 hither thy finger and behold my hands, and 
 reach hither thy hand and thrust it into my 
 side, and be not faithless, but believing.' 
 
 " While the compassionate Saviour thus 
 addressed me, I ventured, though trembling, 
 to look up to him, and saw at once all the 
 glories of divinity shining in his face, and 
 overpowered with love and wonder at his 
 condescending grace, I fell down at his feet, 
 and shouted in an extacy, My Lord and my 
 God! 
 
 " ' Thomas,' said the Lord Jesus, ' because 
 thou hast seen me, thou hast believed, and 
 
61 
 
 thou feelest the blessings which flow to sinners 
 from my cross ; but more peculiarly blessed 
 are they who, having not seen, have yet be- 
 lieved the report of my resurrection, and 
 multitudes shall partake of that blessing 
 when I have endowed thee and thy fellow dis- 
 ciples' with my Holy Spirit, and sent you to 
 spread the tidings through the world.' 
 
 " Ah, my friends ! you who have this day 
 believed the gospel through the preaching of 
 my dearly beloved brother Peter, now know 
 by experience the commencement of that 
 blessing, and may the omnipotent Saviour, 
 thou daughter of the east, soon give thee to 
 believe and taste it also." 
 
 " I cannot but acknowledge," replied my 
 wife, " that your testimony seems the most 
 unsuspected of any I have heard ; but there 
 is a weighty, and to me, as it at present ap- 
 pears, a sufficient reason for my hesitating 
 to give it my full assent ; the holy guardians 
 of Jehovah's laws, who must be best quali- 
 fied of all men to judge betwixt truth and 
 error, have unanimously concurred in con- 
 demning and executing Jesus as a base 
 
62 
 
 impostor, and even this dear spouse of mine, 
 who, by his pious conversation, drew me 
 from the worship of idols to serve the God of 
 Israel, till this day had cautioned me above 
 all things, to beware of the Nazarene delu- 
 sion, and I cannot think it possible that your 
 God would conceal from his most diligent 
 and righteous servants a truth of so much 
 importance as the knowledge of him when he 
 appeared, whose coming had for many ages 
 been the object of their most ardent expecta- 
 tion, and the most constant and earnest peti- 
 tion in their prayers." 
 
 " Dear stranger," returned the affectionate 
 disciple, " the God of Israel cannot justly be 
 charged with the concealment of those truths 
 from his people which he has presented to 
 their view in the relation he has given them, 
 and the institutions he has ordained for their 
 constant observation — the light of divine 
 truth shone around them, but the pride of 
 wisdom blinded their eyes, and the sublimest 
 discoveries of revelation appeared to them as 
 foolishness, while their pretended sanctity, 
 for it was no more than pretence, rendered 
 
63 
 
 them averse to the righteousness of the Holy 
 One, 
 
 " It is true they entertained expectations 
 of the coming of a Messiah, but the object 
 of those expectations was not the character 
 whose advent the prophets had predicted, but 
 one who should be solely subservient to the 
 gratification of their ambitious, sensual, and 
 worldly desires. 
 
 " Moreover, my dear daughter, though you 
 do not now prostrate yourself before gods of 
 gold and silver, of wood and stone, as your 
 fathers did, yet while you remain ignorant of 
 the glory of Jesus the Christ, you are a wor- 
 shipper of those destructive idols, self, and 
 the world, and are still an alien from the 
 commonwealth of Israel, a stranger to the 
 covenants of promise, having no hope, and 
 without God in the world ; but to you is the 
 word of this salvation sent, believe, there- 
 fore, on Jesus the Christ, and you shall be 
 saved." 
 
 As my wife made no reply, the conversa- 
 tion became more general, though still per- 
 fumed with the savour of the Saviour's name ; 
 
64 
 
 and afterwards we sang an hymn ; the disci- 
 ple prayed affectionately for us, and we 
 separated, and retired to rest. 
 
 On several of the following days, at every 
 opportunity which occurred, without neglect- 
 ing the necessrry business of his calling, my 
 friend Joachim accompanied me (and when 
 her domestic avocations permitted, his wife 
 also) to the meetings of the saints which 
 were daily held, either in the temple, or from 
 house to house, where we received much in- 
 struction and consolation, by means of the 
 apostles' discourses, and enjoyed much de- 
 lightful communion with our God, while 
 joining in the prayers and praises of the 
 church ; and on a morning I shall ever recol- 
 lect with gratitude to my Redeemer, by the 
 most tender persuasions, Joanna, though with 
 some difficulty, prevailed on my spouse to 
 accompany her to the temple a little before 
 the hour of prayer, and as they entered by 
 the gate called Beautiful, they noticed a poor 
 cripple, who being incapable of walking, was 
 daily carried thither by his friends, and laid 
 in the porch to ask alms of those who came 
 
65 
 
 to the temple for the purpose of divine wor- 
 ship ; my Nirza, whose heart was ever sus- 
 ceptible of the softest sentiments of compas- 
 sion, dropped a tear at the reflection that our 
 present impoverished and dependent situation 
 did not permit her to give that liberal relief 
 which she would gladly have afforded him 
 had she been in her former state of affluence ; 
 however, she gave him more than a tear, the 
 sum was trifling, but it was all she had about 
 her, and hearing that he had been totally 
 helpless from his birth, she heaved a sigh, 
 and turning her moistened eye to Joanna, she 
 said, " What an happiness would it be for 
 this miserable object, if Elias, the prophet, 
 who recovered the Syrian from his leprosy, 
 were now on earth ; surely, if applied to, he 
 would have restored his withered limbs in the 
 name of the God of Israel." 
 
 " I suppose," returned Joanna, " if you had 
 seen such a wonder performed by Elias you 
 would not have hesitated a moment to ac- 
 knowledge him a prophet commissioned by 
 Jehovah." 
 
 " No," -replied my wife eagerly, " nor do I 
 
66 
 
 think that the least doubt of his divine mission 
 could have been entertained by any one who 
 had been indulged with the happiness of being 
 an eye-witness to the performance of a work 
 so evidently divine." 
 
 " Attend then, my dear friend," said Joanna, 
 to what you will probably soon behold, for I 
 see at a little distance two of the holy apos- 
 tles of Jesus who are coming this way, and 
 who, I perceive, already appear to view him 
 with a compassionate regard." 
 
 While she spake, Peter and John approached 
 the gate to enter the temple, and the cripple 
 began his usual tale of woe, earnestly intreat- 
 ing, if but the smallest alms, from their gene- 
 rosity. 
 
 Peter, stedfastly regarding the miserable 
 being, said to him, " Look on us ;" and 
 while, from such an address, he began to 
 entertain the hope of receiving somewhat 
 from them, the disciple instantly dashed his 
 expectations by adding, with a solemn air, 
 " Silver and gold have I none ;" then paused, 
 seeing his disappointment, but presently said, 
 " Such as I have give I thee ;" then, raising 
 
67 
 
 his voice to a degree of loudness sufficient to 
 attract the attention of the surrounding spec- 
 tators, he continued, " In the name of Jesus 
 the Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk." 
 
 Instantaneously the miraculous power of 
 the spirit of Christ, which was communicated 
 to the apostles on the day of Pentecost, was 
 manifested in all its glory; swifter than 
 lightning it pervaded every fibre of the crip- 
 ple's emaciated frame; the relaxed nerves 
 were braced anew, the rigid joints found their 
 flexibility and use, the enfeebled limbs 
 swelled with vigour, the flush of health 
 glowed on his cheek, his weak and decrepid 
 ancle-bones received strength, and while Peter 
 kindly took him by the right hand to assist 
 him in rising, he leaped up, he stood, he 
 walked, he sprang forward like an hart, and 
 followed them into the temple, walking and 
 leaping, and praising God. 
 
 Struck with the sight of this amazing mi- 
 racle, the astonished spectators crowded 
 around the subject of it, who held Peter and 
 John by the hand, and pointed them out to 
 the people as the instruments of his cure. 
 
Joanna, fixing her eyes on Nirza, saw her 
 stand like a statue, appearing petrified with 
 surprise, and accosted her thus : " My dear 
 friend, was the mission of Elias made evi- 
 dent by his miracles, and is the power of the 
 divine Jesus less manifest in the cure his 
 name alone has effected?" My wife could 
 not speak, but the tears which trickled down 
 her face discovered her sensations. Joanna 
 then taking her by the hand led her towards 
 the apostles, as she perceived Peter was be- 
 ginning to address the people. 
 
 He began by disclaiming all pretensions to 
 the honour of the miracle, asserting, that 
 neither the power or holiness of himself or 
 John had contributed towards it, but that the 
 God of their fathers, whom they professed 
 to worship, and to whose honour the edifice 
 wherein they were assembled had been 
 erected, had herein displayed the glory of his 
 son Jesus Christ, who had, at their instiga- 
 tion, been basely murdered ; compassionating 
 their ignorance, he referred them to Moses 
 and the prophets, whose divine mission they 
 acknowledged, for proofs of the character of 
 
69 
 
 the Divine Sufferer ; asserted his resurrection ; 
 proved it from the glorious effect of his al- 
 mighty power before their eyes, and concluded 
 with the emphatic and inviting declaration, 
 " Unto you first, God having raised up his son 
 Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning every 
 one of you from his iniquities." 
 
 Just as he had ceased speaking, I looked 
 that way, and seeing Joanna and my Nirza 
 in the crowd, I made haste towards them, 
 and as I approached, " O, my dear hus- 
 band," said my beloved, " I know now that 
 Jesus is the Christ, but such has been my 
 horrid opposition to the truth, that I dare not, 
 cannot, must not, say my Saviour." 
 
 The unexpected confession of my wife 
 struck me at first with such surprising delight, 
 that I was for some time incapable of speak- 
 ing, but as soon as I recovered the use 
 of my faculties, lifting up mine eyes to 
 heaven, I cried, a Exalted Redeemer of Israel, 
 thou hast now doubly saved me, in revealing 
 thy glory to the wife of my bosom ! What 
 can I, what shall I render to thee for all thy 
 benefits ? but rejoice that thou hast rendered 
 
70 
 
 me still more thy debtor." Then pausing, I 
 turned to her, saying, " Has not our Jesus 
 already saved thee, my love, from that blind 
 pride of imagined righteousness that so lately 
 had led me, as well as thee, to reject the 
 crucified one, and why then hesitate to rejoice 
 in him as thy Saviour, who has given thee 
 such a proof of his saving power, which has 
 filled my heart with a purer, sweeter joy, than 
 that which I felt on our chaste nuptial morn." 
 " O, my dearest friend," she replied, " I 
 am astonished beyond measure when I reflect 
 on the wonders of divine Providence, that, 
 while totally ignorant of the designs of hea- 
 ven, and filled with enmity against the holy 
 one, I was influenced by my affection for thee, 
 my Eleazar, to leave with thee the house of thy 
 parents ; surely it was of God, since, by that 
 means, I have now witnessed such a glorious 
 proof that Jesus is mighty to save. O that 
 lie may save me from my worst enemy, my- 
 self ; and though my guilt appears horrid be- 
 yond al] comparison, yet will I look to him 
 alone to reconcile me to God, and if I perish, 
 I perish!" 
 
71 
 
 " When the Lord Jesus was on earth," 
 returned I, none ever died in his presence, 
 and sure I am that none shall ever perish who 
 look to him for salvation now he is ascended 
 to the throne of his glory." 
 
 While we were thus engaged in conversa- 
 tion, we were suddenly interrupted by a 
 violent noise and confusion among the people, 
 and presently arrived some of the priests, with 
 a band of the Sadducees, commanded by the 
 captain of the temple, who laid hold of the 
 apostles, and conveyed them to prison, where 
 they were kept in custody till the next day. 
 
 On this we retired to the house of Joachim, 
 accompanied by several of the brethren, where 
 we spent the remainder of the day in prayer 
 and praise. 
 
 The following day Joachim attended the 
 trial of the apostles, in the hall of the Sanhe- 
 drim, and on his return gave us an account of 
 their courage and meekness, and informed us 
 that they were discharged from their confine- 
 ment, and that they were gone to the house 
 of Lebbeus, where the disciples frequently 
 assembled; on which we all followed him 
 
72 
 
 thither, and after prayer, thanksgiving, and 
 a signal communication of grace and fortitude 
 from the Holy Spirit to all present, James 
 arose, and began to address the church to the 
 following import: — 
 
 " Brethren, beloved in Christ Jesus, you 
 know that our dear Lord gave us many warn- 
 ings while he was yet with us, concerning 
 the things which should shortly come to pass ; 
 and especially that, after his resurrection, the 
 temporal kingdom of our fathers should be 
 totally destroyed, to make way for his spiritual 
 and eternal kingdom, and that, as Israel, 
 after the flesh, had rejected him, saying in 
 their hearts, we will not have this man to 
 reign over us, the kingdom of God should be 
 taken from them, and given to a nation 
 bringing forth the fruits thereof, even to the 
 holy nation which should be gathered to him, 
 by his gospel, from among the Gentiles. 
 Our inheritance in this land of Canaan, 
 which God in ancient ages gave to the seed 
 of Israel, as a type of the incorruptible and 
 undefiled inheritance of the saints in light, 
 can therefore no longer be considered by us 
 
73 
 
 as an everlasting possession, nor are we any 
 longer prohibited from alienating our part 
 therein ; but it rather becomes us, as the fol- 
 lowers of him who left the world of glory to 
 accomplish our salvation, to sell our lands 
 before they are trodden down by the Gentiles, 
 as our Lord has predicted, and with the pro- 
 duce of them to supply the wants of the aged 
 and infirm amongst us, and especially those 
 of our brethren and sisters whose undaunted 
 profession of the name of Jesus had deprived 
 them of the means of their temporal sup- 
 port." 
 
 Lebbeus then added, " Brethren, we are 
 not our own, we are the property of him who 
 hath redeemed us by his most precious blood ; 
 nor do we possess any thing but what belongs 
 to him. Let us, therefore, inspired by gra- 
 titude, offer him his own, by parting with our 
 possessions in this world, and presenting the 
 produce of them to the Apostles and Elders, 
 that they may distribute it among our poor 
 brethren, (especially to those who have suf- 
 fered the loss of all things in consequence of 
 E 
 
74 
 
 openly avowing their attachment to the Re- 
 deemer) according to their need. 
 
 " The religion of the first believers did not 
 lie in word or profession only ; it was a living 
 active principle that constantly brought forth 
 abundant fruits ; and such was the irresistible 
 influence of divine truth on their minds, that it 
 only needed to be displayed in order to produce 
 instant obedience ; this was now evidenced in 
 the conduct of many who were possessors of 
 lands and houses, and who directly leaving 
 the assembly, went among their neighbours 
 and acquaintances in quest of purchasers, 
 and on disposing of their little patrimony, 
 deposited the money they received in the 
 hands of the Apostles, for the supply of the 
 poor. 
 
 " Among these amiable children of bene- 
 volence was one very prominent and remark- 
 able character, who was accounted worthy of 
 particular notice' in the narration which the 
 inspired Evangelist Luke has left of the Acts 
 of the Apostles ; Joses, a Levite of Cyprus, 
 who had been surnamed Barnabas, the son 
 
75 
 
 of Consolation, on account of the peculiar 
 gift he had received from him who is the con- 
 solation of Israel, of administering the com- 
 forts of the gospel to the wounded conscience 
 of the burdened desponding sinner. 
 
 "This man possessed a paternal inheri- 
 tance which, besides supplying him from its 
 produce with all the comforts and conve- 
 niences of life, was peculiarly endeared to 
 him by several affecting circumstances ; there, 
 in a delightful retreat, deep embowered in the 
 bosom of a lofty grove, watered by a mean- 
 dering stream, whose gentle murmurs soothed 
 the mind to heavenly musings, he had drawn 
 his first breath, and opened his infant eyes on 
 the light of heaven — there in early youth he 
 had closed the eyes of a fond expiring mother 
 — there the sight of her sepulchre in the gar- 
 den had oft melted him into the tears of filial 
 sorrow — there he had received divine instruc- 
 tion in the law and the prophets, from the lips 
 of a wise and pious father, since departed to 
 God, and whose mortal remains he had de- 
 posited in his mother's tomb — there he had 
 often wandered through the flowery meads 
 E 2 
 
76 
 
 and among the fields whitening for the har- 
 vest, exploring the sacred pages of David 
 and Isaiah, and longing for the approaching 
 appearance of the long expected Messiah ; 
 and there, since his eyes had been blessed 
 with the sight of the Divine Redeemer, and 
 his ears had heard the soul reviving accents 
 of his voice, it had been his delight in these 
 lovely retirements, to pour out the effusions of 
 his soul in strains of grateful praise ; but 
 now the honour of his Saviour and the neces- 
 sities of the poor disciples, demand the sa- 
 crifice of the much loved spot. He hesitates 
 not a moment ; he freely parts with the dear 
 possession, and having received the purchase 
 money, flies with eager haste to lay the 
 whole without reserve or regret, at the Apos- 
 tles' feet. 
 
 Alas! how deceitful is the human heart! 
 What base counterfeits exist of every Chris- 
 tian grace ? There were even in these days 
 of primitive simplicity among the professors 
 of the gospel, some unhappy characters, who, 
 though they were not under the influence of 
 those divine principles of brotherly love and 
 
77 
 
 self-denying benevolence, which actuated 
 Barnabas and many others, yet were desirous 
 to appear to the church in the same amiable 
 point of view with these generous Christians, 
 and though they discerned some difficulty in 
 accomplishing their desire, they flattered 
 themselves that its attainment was within 
 their reach. Vices are mutually accommo- 
 dating, and when pride and avarice jointly 
 rule the heart, each will readily lend its 
 assistance to gratify the other, and thus 
 strengthen their united dominion over the 
 soul. 
 
 An awful instance of the truth of this re- 
 mark appeared in the conduct of Ananias and 
 Sapphira. They were a young couple, pos- 
 sessed of affluence, and without any children 
 to provide for; they had lately joined the 
 company of the disciples, and appeared to 
 be very zealous for the prosperity and increase 
 of the church 4 the motion of James for the 
 sale of their lands and the disposal of the 
 money, was to them totally unexpected ; but 
 they saw the powerful and extensive effects it 
 produced on the minds of others, and they 
 
78 
 
 were apprehensive they should forfeit the 
 esteem of the Saints, unless they appeared 
 equally influenced by it. But, alas! this 
 world was their god! yet they determined 
 to attempt the impossible task of uniting 
 the service of God and Mammom, and after 
 they had privately conferred on the best 
 means of compromising the claims of am- 
 bition and covetousness, they fixed on a 
 small piece of land which was not among 
 the most productive of their domains, nor 
 advantageously situated for improvement, and 
 resolved to dispose of it, and devote the pro- 
 duce, as others had done, to the common 
 stock, not doubting but then they should 
 retain the honourable character for piety 
 and benevolence which they possessed ; but 
 when they had sold it, and received the 
 sum it produced in glittering silver, it ap- 
 peared so tempting that they could not 
 prevail on themselves to part with it all ; 
 but reserving a part, brought the\emainder 
 only, and presented it to the Apostles as 
 the entire produce of the sale, not dream- 
 ing of detection or punishment. 
 
79 
 
 The church in general regarded Ananias 
 when he stepped forward with his money in 
 his hand, and laid it at the Apostle's feet, 
 with the same sentiments they had Joses and 
 the other disciples who had devoted their 
 earthly possessions to the claims of Christian 
 benevolence ; but a respect, fraudulently ob- 
 tained, could not long continue. How cer- 
 tain is it that the eyes of him who walks 
 amidst the golden candlesticks, are as a flame 
 of fire ? and how often are the most deep laid 
 designs of hypocritical artifice disclosed in a 
 moment, by the beamings of his wrathful in- 
 dignation ? 
 
 Informed by a sudden revelation from the 
 sacred Spirit, Peter disclosed his base and 
 daring attempt at deception, and pointing out 
 the heinousness of his sin in lying to God the 
 Holy Spirit, pronounced on him the awful sen- 
 tence no sooner uttered than executed, of in- 
 stant death, and on the entrance of the ac- 
 complice of his crime, who, ignorant of his 
 dreadful exit, persisted in affirming the false- 
 hood, denounced on her the same immediate 
 doom ; she instantly fell dead at his feet, and 
 
80 
 
 accompanied her husband to the grave and to 
 the righteous bar of God. 
 
 This tremendous event produced a double 
 benefit to the cause of Christianity ; it pre- 
 vented those whose religion was only nomi- 
 nal, from intruding themselves into the fel- 
 lowship of the church, and it affected the 
 minds of many with a concern for their eter- 
 nal interest. 
 
 " It was not many days before a most re- 
 markable effect of this awful proof of divine 
 justice appeared. At a subsequent meeting 
 of the Church, after several brethren had 
 prayed, and we had sung an hymn of praise 
 to the ascended Redeemer, Rechab, a bro- 
 ther well esteemed by the whole church, and 
 who had continued to attend constantly with 
 us ever since he joined us, which was on the 
 day after Peter had preached his first sermon, 
 at the feast of Pentecost, arose under the 
 apparent weight of deep concern, and thus 
 addressed the assembly : — 
 
 u Ye holy Apostles and Elders, and ye 
 church of the living God, what would be your 
 feelings if ye knew that one of your number 
 
•81 
 
 who had professed the holy name of Jesus, 
 was no other than a deceiver and a spy, em- 
 ployed by the Sanhedrim to intrude himself 
 among you,, that he might acquaint them with 
 your numbers and proceedings, in order that, 
 availing themselves of his discoveries, they 
 might be able to take more effectual mea- 
 sures for your utter extirpation; and should 
 such an hypocritical wretch have been suffered 
 to remain awhile undiscovered and unsus- 
 pected, fulfilling his accursed commission, by 
 giving private intelligence daily to the ene- 
 mies of the cross, of all your meetings and 
 of the plans you were pursuing for the propa- 
 gation of the Gospel, till at length the mira- 
 cle by which the much less criminal fraud of 
 Ananias and his wife was disclosed and 
 punished, struck him with horror and re- 
 morse, and the keen empoisoned arrow of 
 despair rankled in his heart ? and is it possi- 
 ble that after all his baseness, such an unprin- 
 cipled monster might venture to entertain any 
 hope of pardoning mercy from that Saviour 
 whose name he has so blasphemously and 
 murderously abused ?" 
 
 E 3 
 
82 
 
 Here he paused, and for a moment the 
 whole assembly stood mute with astonish- 
 ment and terror, not one venturing to sus- 
 pect who it was to whom he could allude, till, 
 with a frame trembling with agony, eyes suf- 
 fused in tears, and a voice clouded with sor- 
 row, he proceeded — 
 
 " Such a wretch is present ! yes, disciples 
 of the Saviour of sinners, I am the man ! 
 and a fate unspeakably more dreadful than 
 that of Ananias awaits me! the terrors of 
 God are come upon me, and I scarcely dare 
 to solicit mercy from him, or pity from you !" 
 Here he ceased, oppressed with the weight 
 of anguish, and fell to the ground. 
 
 The church in awful suspense and conster- 
 nation fixed their eyes on the Apostles in 
 silence, till the tender hearted John slowly 
 arose from his seat, and turning towards 
 the unhappy penitent an eye in which a 
 rising tear expressed the benign compassion 
 of his beloved Saviour, with a voice tuned to 
 the most melting tone of pity, thus addressed 
 him : — 
 
 " Great is thy crime, enormous thy guilt, 
 
83 
 
 dreadful thy situation ; but the blood of Jesus 
 Christ the Son of God cleanseth from all sin, 
 therefore if we confess our sins, he is faith- 
 ful and just to forgive us our sins, and to 
 cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Be- 
 lieve yet in him, for he is able to save 
 thee." 
 
 " Brethren," said Bartholomew, " the con- 
 duct of Divine Providence is always regu- 
 lated by the purpose of Divine grace, and 
 is intended to bring about its fulfilment ; I 
 cannot, therefore, but indulge a wish and 
 entertain a hope that the reason why our Lord 
 has suffered the hypocrisy of this man to re- 
 main so long hidden from us all, notwithstand- 
 ing the power he has given us of discerning 
 spirits, till, under the influence of conviction, 
 he has confessed his crime, has been, that 
 the value of his blood and the power of his 
 spirit, might more gloriously appear in his 
 conversion and pardon." 
 
 Peter looking round on the assembly thus 
 spake : " Moses said unto our Fathers in the 
 wilderness, { Be sure your sins will find you 
 out.' We have seen his words fulfilled in 
 
84 
 
 the vengeance which has fallen on Ananias, 
 and we see them now again accomplished in 
 Rechab, perhaps in mercy to his soul ; but 
 it is necessary to receive some satisfactory 
 evidence of the sincerity of his repentance 
 before we can with propriety regard him as 
 a brother, and admit him to the communion 
 of the faithful. I therefore ask thee, Rechab, 
 What hast thou received of the council as 
 the reward of thine iniquity? and to what 
 purpose dost thou now intend to apply thine 
 ill-gotten gains ?" 
 
 " Holy Disciples and ye Saints of the 
 Most High," said the poor trembling peni- 
 tent, " whether I may hope for credit from 
 you, or forgiveness from the Lord Jesus I 
 know not ; but whatever becomes of me, I 
 can no longer retain the five hundred she- 
 kels which 1 have received from the High 
 Priest, but will go immediately to the coun- 
 cil chamber and return them, confessing my 
 sin against the great Messiah; and though 
 I think it probable that they will put me to 
 death, and I feel "that I am unfit to appear 
 before the -Crucified One, yet I desire to 
 
85 
 
 sacrifice my worthless life for the honour of 
 him whom I have abused, and beseech you 
 to pray for me, that he may yet pardon my 
 foul offences, and receive my soul to his 
 mercy." 
 
 The Son of Consolation then softly replied 
 to him, " Rechab, we compassionate thy 
 case ; but the tender mercies X)( creatures are 
 cruelty compared with the compassion of 
 Jesus ; he hath said, ' him that cometh I will 
 in no wise cast out ;' it is his delight to repay 
 injuries and insults with favours and kind- 
 nesses ; he will forgive thy sins, remove thy 
 pollution, and bestow on thee the joy of his 
 salvation ; fly thou to him for refuge, whose 
 arms are open to receive thee." 
 
 While Barnabus was thus speaking, the 
 penitent was overcome by his emotions, and 
 for a time remained incapable of uttering a 
 word ; but at length, with a voice interrupted 
 by sighs, he sobbed out, " There is forgive- 
 ness with him, that he may be feared ; at his 
 feet will I cast my polluted soul, and if he 
 save the treacherous Rechab, no sinner here- 
 after need despair." 
 
86 
 
 " Brethren," said the beloved John, " you 
 see what our ascended Redeemer has wrought. 
 Are you all satisfied that this man is blessed 
 with repentance unto life? and can yon re- 
 ceive him as a brother for whom Christ died ? 
 To this they replied by uplifted hands, and 
 Rechab, bowing his head, after Philip had 
 prayed, departed from the assembly to return 
 the money he had received from Caiaphas, as 
 the wages of unrighteousness. 
 
 As he entered the court of the temple, on 
 his way to the chamber where the priests and 
 elders were then assembled in council, he 
 met one of the priests, who accosted him 
 thus : — 
 
 " Welcome, faithful Rechab, what intelli- 
 gence hast thou to communicate to us ? Hast 
 thou made any farther discoveries of the pro- 
 ceedings of this fanatical sect? or what is the 
 intent of thy coming ?" 
 
 " To aver," said Rechab, " that I am one 
 of the basest and most unprincipled of villains ; 
 that in consequence of your most seductive 
 arts I have assumed a character which I can 
 no longer sustain; to restore the accursed 
 
87 
 
 wages of iniquity which I received from you, 
 and, in spite of your displeasure, to assure 
 you of the badness of your cause, which ad- 
 mits of no support but from the meanness of 
 hypocrisy and treachery; take then these 
 execrable gains, for never will my returning 
 conscience cease to rack me while I retain 
 that sordid pelf for which I dared to hazard 
 the everlasting displeasure of the Crucified 
 One — the true Messiah — the king of Israel. 
 
 The priest, though struck with astonish- 
 ment, and fired with rage, was not so blinded 
 by either, as to prevent him from reasoning 
 on the expedience of proceeding to extremities 
 with this man, who was well known in the 
 higher circles of society, as employed by the 
 Sanhedrim, and possessing their confidence : 
 it was true, he was totally lost to them, yet 
 he considered that, to render him the victim of 
 an ill-timed revenge, might be a means of pre- 
 venting others from serving them in a similar 
 way, and as others of their spies> as well as 
 Rechab, were in possession of important 
 secrets concerning the disgraceful means by 
 which they supported their influence over the 
 
people ; a severity which might irritate, while 
 it intimidated them, would perhaps produce a 
 discovery of what w r as so much their interest 
 to conceal. Under these ideas, he directed 
 Rechab to wait in an anti-chamber while he 
 went in and related the sad tale to his col- 
 leagues, and besought them to consider the 
 most proper may of acting towards him. 
 
 The assembly heard his report with sur- 
 prise and terror, and some of them proposed 
 instantly to put Rechab to death ; but the more 
 moderate party, headed by Gamaliel, after 
 some debate, appeared the most numerous, 
 and at length it was agreed that he should 
 be called in before them, and that Caiaphas 
 should, in their presence, sharply reprimand 
 him, and while he held forth the highest re- 
 wards to induce him not to desert their cause, 
 should, on the other hand, threaten him with 
 the most cruel death, if he ventured to betray 
 any of their secrets to the Nazarenes. 
 
 The high priest, in pursuance of this deter- 
 mination, exhausted all his powers, both of 
 persuasion and terror ; but, superior to all 
 his allurements and menaces, Rechab stood 
 
before him with a modest, yet undaunted coun- 
 tenance till he had closed his speech, and then 
 made this reply : — 
 
 '" The offers you have made me, O high 
 priest ! though you were to add to them all 
 the riches of Jerusalem, could not possibly 
 tempt me to endure, for a single moment, 
 much less through eternal ages, the misery 
 and horror I have felt since I have been con- 
 vinced of the base and treacherous part I have 
 been induced by you to act against the true 
 Messiah — the Holy One of God, and the 
 only Saviour of sinners ; and the infinite mercy 
 I have received from him, in pardoning my 
 transgressions, has rendered me fearless of 
 the most cruel tortures that your malice can 
 threaten to inflict on me." 
 
 Amazed at his boldness, they stood awhile 
 silent, and at length the high priest, threaten- 
 ing him with instant death if he informed the 
 Christians of any of their plans with which 
 he had been intrusted, bade him depart imme- 
 diately from the council. 
 
 He returned with joy to the disciples, and 
 informed them, at their next assembly, of all 
 
90 
 
 all that he knew, on the hearing of which they 
 sang an hymn of praise to the Redeemer. . 
 I pass over the well known circumstanees 
 which Luke has recorded, concerning the ap- 
 prehension and death of Stephen, only no- 
 ticing, that since my conversion, I had not 
 seen my early companion and fellow-student 
 Saul, as my expulsion from my father's house 
 had removed me to a distance from my old 
 acquaintance, and with the exception of my 
 attendance on the public meetings of the be- 
 lievers, I had lived almost secluded from 
 society, at the house of Joachim, supporting 
 myself and my wife by writing copies of the 
 Scriptures for the new converts to the faith of 
 Christ ; but soon after the death of Stephen, 
 I was much surprised by receiving a message 
 from Bethphage, by a special messenger, 
 who informed me that my father was suddenly 
 taken ill, and desired to see me before he 
 died ; I followed the man without delay, and 
 on entering I saw my mother in tears, who 
 told me that she was afraid that my father 
 would not be able to converse with me, for 
 since the fever had attacked him he had been 
 
91 
 
 very seldom free from delirium, and in those 
 few intervals he had, was generally dosing ; 
 however, she conducted me to his chamber, 
 and when I approached him, he knew me, 
 and said, " O Eleazar ! I find too late that 
 I have been fighting against God ; my own 
 righteousness I feel will not support me in 
 derth !" Afflicted as I was, I strove to point 
 him to the Messiah, as described by Daniel, 
 cut off, but not for himself, finishing the trans- 
 gression, and making an end of sin, bring- 
 ing in everlasting righteousness, and making 
 reconciliation for iniquity. He listened eagerly 
 for a while, but whether he received the truth 
 I know not, for alas ! in a few minutes a 
 convulsive spasm seized him — he grew again 
 delirious — the convulsion returned a second 
 time, and he expired ! 
 
 Never had I known before so solemn a 
 moment as when I beheld him a corpse, saw 
 my mother's anguish, and felt the torment of 
 awful apprehension for the state of his de- 
 parted spirit; resignation to the divine will 
 appeared an almost impossible duty, but the 
 ascended Redeemer mercifully supported me, 
 
92 
 
 and calmed my murmuring thoughts, from the 
 consideration of his sovereignty and my own 
 unworthiness ; I could do nothing for a parent 
 already departed, but I had still a surviving 
 one, whose eternal interest it was both my 
 duty and inclination to seek. 
 
 I was now also entered on a new sphere of 
 duty ; the patrimony, excepting the provision 
 which my mother was entitled to, descended 
 to me, and required my attention, and I found 
 a variety of employments useful in relieving 
 my mind, but my chief source of consola- 
 tion lay in the enjoyment of the presence of 
 the Saviour, in the exercises of prayer and 
 meditation. 
 
 I soon sent for my beloved Nirza, and the 
 heart of my mother, softened by distress, 
 gladly received her tender attentions ; but 
 what amply repaid past days of suffering, was 
 the discovery that the conversation of my wife 
 had led my mother to the Saviour's feet. 
 
 The persecution that commenced with the 
 death of Stephen raged with increasing vio- 
 lence; it rendered it impossible to hold our 
 r>ublic meetings with any degree of security ; 
 
93 
 
 it scattered many of the brethren ; but in- 
 stead of injuring the kingdom of Christ 
 thereby, it promoted its extension and in- 
 crease ; for these exiles, wherever they went, 
 began to publish the good news of salvation 
 among their fellow sinners, and the hand of 
 the Lord was with them, so that many be- 
 lieved ; some of these itinerant preachers had 
 not indeed been in public character in the 
 church, but they had felt the power of redeem- 
 ing love ; they pitied those who were perish- 
 ing for lack of knowledge ; and the love of 
 Christ constrained them, where they saw sin- 
 diseased souls perishing in their iniquities, to 
 make known the physician from whom they 
 had themselves obtained a cure ; they were 
 well assured that the oracles of God were, in 
 the Christian Church, as well as in the Jewish, 
 committed to the whole community, and not 
 to its officers exclusively ; and though the 
 suffrages of the people were necessary to con- 
 stitute officers, yet, without them, every one 
 who knew the gospel, had a right to commu- 
 cate. it to those who were ignorant of its 
 truths. 
 
94 
 
 It was a peculiar honour and happiness 
 conferred on me at this time, that, from the 
 retired situation of my house, it afforded me 
 an opportunity of entertaining and concealing 
 for awhile, from the fury of their enemies, 
 several of the followers of Christ, who were 
 obliged to fly from their habitations in the 
 city on account of their attachment to his 
 name ; bnt what gave me the greatest pleasure, 
 was the opportunity of gratefully requiting 
 the kindness I had received in my distress 
 from my cousin Joachim, who, with Joanna 
 and their family, found it necessary to quit 
 their habitation, and seek with me an asylum, 
 like that my wife and I had found in their 
 hospitable dwelling ; and I could but admire 
 the wisdom and kindness of Providence, in 
 ordering the time of my father's death, and 
 my .succession to his inheritance, for had it 
 occurred a few weeks earlier, I should have 
 sold it as the other disciples had done, and 
 have thereby become incapable of attending 
 to the claims of gratitude and brotherly love. 
 
 During this period Saul was indefatigable 
 in promoting the persecution of the church ; 
 
95 
 
 all the energies of his ardent and active mind 
 were concentrated in this one object ; he made 
 daily havock of the saints, and lodged many 
 in prison. 
 
 In the course of his researches he obtained 
 intimation of my return to Bethphage, and 
 came over to visit me, with the view of con- 
 vincing me of my delusion, and restoring me 
 to the Pharisees, or, in case of failure, to 
 make me the 'next victim to his misguided 
 zeal. 
 
 He began first to reason with me in a com- 
 paratively mild and gentle style, hoping to 
 win me back to his party ; he paid the highest 
 compliments to my talents and virtues, and 
 expressed his astonishment that I should be 
 so mistaken as to renounce excellencies, 
 which he said, afforded me so high a claim to 
 the divine favour, to trust in one, who, had 
 he possessed sufficient power, would doubtless 
 have exercised it on his own behalf, and have 
 delivered himself from the hands of his ene- 
 mies ; especially, as by such an act, he would 
 have convinced them of the reality of his pre- 
 tensions, and secured their attachment to his 
 
96 
 
 cause : he urged me, by all our former friend- 
 ship, by all my promising prospects of wealth 
 and power, and by every consideration of a 
 religious nature he could produce, to return 
 from my error, and unite with him in the ex- 
 tirpation of the Nazarenes. 
 
 But when, in reply, I had simply stated 
 the facts that led to my convesion, the views 
 I now entertained of divine truth, the cause 
 to which I attributed the reception of those 
 views, and their effect in subduing my proud 
 spirit at the feet of the exalted Redeemer, he 
 lost all temper ; his eye appeared the inter- 
 preter of the deadly sentiments of his heart, 
 and, with a voice like the roar of an infernal, 
 he swore by the Lord God of our fathers, he 
 would instantly go to the council, and deliver 
 me and mine up to their resentment; and 
 shaking off the dust of his feet against me, 
 he left the house in a rage. 
 
 I was rather surprised that for several suc- 
 ceeding days I heard nothing of him, and at 
 length was informed that he had left Jerusa- 
 lem, and was gone, with a numerous escort, 
 on some distant and important commission 
 
for the high priest ; but soon after I received 
 the following letter, the contents whereof 
 almost overpowered me with pleasing sur- 
 prise ; — / 
 
 " O Eleazar ! 
 
 " From Damascus, the scene of his intended cruel- 
 ties, where, not content with destroying the lives of the 
 saints, the rancour of a Pharisee would feign have murdered 
 their souls, by compelling them to blaspheme the name they 
 loved and adored, Saul, the execrable, (yet, O amazing 
 heights of love divine ! O depths profound, unfathomable, of 
 eternal wisdom ! ) Saul, the pardoned enemy of Jesus, writes 
 thee, to increase thy yonder at the miracle of grace He, the 
 friend of sinners, has accomplished. 
 
 " Thou knowest, my friend, my brother, the particulars 
 of our last interview, and in what a violent paroxysm of rage 
 I departed from thy house, vowing to deliver thee up to the 
 vengeance of the council ; and I was proceeding with hasty 
 strides across the valley towards Jerusalem, with a deter- 
 mination to accomplish my purpose, when I met a servant of 
 Caiaphas, who informed me that he was sent in search of me, 
 to call me to attend instantly at the palace of the high priest, 
 who was about to intrust me with a most important commis- 
 sion. I followed him eagerly, but still with a determined 
 intention to give information concerning thee to the high 
 priest ; but the moment the eye of Caiaphas caught me, as I 
 entered the palace, he exclaimed, ' Saul, in how short a 
 time canst thou prepare thyself for a journey on business of 
 no less importance than the immediate and total extirpation 
 F 
 
of the detested Nazarene sect from the city of Damascus, 
 where, we have received intelligence, a considerable num- 
 ber of the wretches are collected V 
 
 " « In a moment!" replied I, with eager warmth, < in a 
 moment, great high priest ; my heart bounds with transport to 
 think that I should be counted worthy to have so high an 
 honour conferred on me ; give me but my commission, and I 
 am gone ; and while travelling with rapidity to my destina- 
 tion, and invoking Israel's God for his assistance against the 
 blasphemers, his spirit shall inspire me with wisdom to discover, 
 and power to destroy them.' 
 
 " The vastness of the object before me so completely 
 filled my soul, that in the universal hatred I bore to the 
 church, my rage against thee was for the time forgotten. 
 Soon was I on my road, accompanied by a band of men as 
 prejudiced, but more ignorant, and therefore less guilty, than 
 myself. O the depths of divine sovereignty ! I — I am par- 
 doned, and they are left. 
 
 " Swiftly I led them forward, yet the journey, rapidly as 
 we proceeded, appeared tedious to my impatient mind ; breath- 
 ing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples, I 
 longed to enter on the career of blood ; already in imagina- 
 tion I immolated a midtitude of victims at the altar of my 
 misguided zeal, and rejoiced at the prospect of enjoying their 
 miseries, and feasting mine eyes with their torments. God 
 of Eternal Justice ! why slept thy thunders ? Why did not 
 thy vengeful lightnings blast thy foe ? 
 
 " The day was hot but gloomy ; the sky was overspread 
 with clouds, as if the sun had hid his face, that he might not 
 behold the monster who was seeking the extermination of 
 the servants of his Maker j when on a sudden, just as the 
 
99 
 
 distant turrets of the city arose in view, a light, far sur- 
 passing the meridian brightness of that sun's unclouded ray, 
 shone full on my head, and amidst the unsufterable splen- 
 dour appeared the Crucified One, with every feature I had 
 seen in his face while he was on earth, but brightened with 
 celestial glory ; his piercing eyes were fixed on me, and with 
 a voice which was intelligible to me alone, but to my attend- 
 ants sounding like the inarticulate roar of distant thunder, he 
 called aloud, * Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me V 
 Through all my nerves thrilled horror inexpressible ; trem- 
 bling and convulsed, I fell to the ground, and had scarcely 
 strength left me to articulate faintly, with a broken and 
 tremulous accent, * Who art thou, Lord V 'lam Jesus,' 
 returned he, ' whom thou persecutest ; it is hard for thee, a 
 feeble worm of the earth, to rush on the pointed spear of 
 my indignation.' O what language shall I employ to describe 
 the sensations I experienced ? I saw, I felt a God ! I could 
 withstand Omnipotence no longer ; my righteousness de- 
 parted from me ; nay, so odious did it appear to me, that I 
 threw it away as dross and dung ; all that zeal, in which I 
 placed my chiefest glory, I now ranked as the foremost in the 
 long black list of my crimes ; and while I felt, and confessed 
 without reserve, that I was the chief of sinners, and was 
 amazed that I lived, I found that I could not but intensely 
 love the Saviour, who, though he overwhelmed, yet sup- 
 ported me, and while he upbraided me justly with my guilt, 
 yet, by the name he assumed, encouraged me still to hope 
 that notwithstanding my vileness, I might yet taste forgive- 
 ness ; I found all the powers of my soul, under the weight 
 of his divine and irresistible influence," totally transformed ; 
 I wanted to sink into nothing before him ; to have no will 
 F 2 
 
100 
 
 but his ; * Lord, 5 said I, from my inmost soul, ' what wiM 
 thou have me to do V ' Arise/ said he, with a soul-reviving 
 smile, ' and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what 
 thou shalt do.' 
 
 " I strove to rise, but when I endeavoured to look about 
 me, I perceived that I was in darkness, the unsufferable 
 brightness of his appearance had deprived me of sight. 
 
 " My companions had been terrified at the blaze of light, 
 and at the thunder, which they supposed it to be, for they 
 had not seen the Lord Jesus, nor heard the words which he 
 addressed to me, nor were they yet recovered from their 
 affrighted state, but they were capable of seeing the way, 
 and finding the condition I was in, they led me into the 
 city, and conducted me to the house of one Judas, who, 
 when he perceived my situation, took me into a back cham- 
 ber, where I desired to be left alone to my own reflections ; but 
 oh ! what a weight of crowding emotions agitated my breast ; 
 and so much was my heart affected by them, that for three 
 days I was rendered incapable of the enjoyment of food or 
 rest. 
 
 " The holy Law of God, in my obedience to which I had 
 placed all my former hopes of acceptance with God, now dis- 
 played its extent, purity, and spirituality to my view in the 
 most striking light, and all the most splendid actions of my for- 
 mer life, when compared to that standard of excellence, I now 
 >aw to be defiled and black as hell. I died to all my former 
 hopes ; I saw myself in the hands of an offended Sovereign, 
 who might justly execute the sentence of condemnation upon 
 me, and that the alteration in my views of myself could not 
 entitle me to any claim on his mercy ; that there was no 
 more merit in my present fears than in my former false hopes j 
 
101 
 
 and that nothing whatever that I could hereafter perform 
 would place me on fairer grounds to expect favour from a just 
 God ; but blessed be his name, in the character and conduct 
 of the holy Jesus, I saw not only the purity of the law exem- 
 plified, but its claims answered, and in his sacrifice the rights 
 of divine holiness secured, and ample satisfaction made to 
 justice for the vilest transgressions ; I believed the testimony 
 of the prophets concerning him, and I beheld in his resur- 
 rection and exaltation, an ample confirmation both of the 
 veracity of their predictions, and the all-sufficiency of his 
 righteousness, to justify my guilty soul; I panted after the 
 light of his countenance as my highest happiness, and was 
 indifferent whether I should ever recover my bodily sight, so 
 I could but mentally gaze on his glory till I should be trans- 
 formed to the likeness of his holiness. 
 
 ■" On the third day I beheld in a vision an aged and vene- 
 rable person, whom I had never seen before, coming in and 
 laying his hands upon me, saying, ' Brother Saul, receive 
 thy sight,' and while I was studying what could be the pur- 
 port of the vision, the door opened, and a man came in, 
 who addressed me in the words I had heard, and scales fall- 
 ing from mine eyes, I looked up and saw the man who had 
 appeared to me, then standing before me, and after hearing 
 from him the commission he had received from the Lord 
 Jesus to restore my sight, and further conversing with him 
 on the Redeemer's love, I arose, and received instant bap- 
 tism from his hands, and Judas having brought in meat, I 
 ate, and was strengthened, and glorified God. 
 
 " Having thus received mercy, I began to preach Christ 
 in the synagogue, that he is the Son of God, and to confirm 
 and strengthen that cause I came hither to subvert, and here 
 
102 
 
 I suppose I shall for some time continue ; but I am at my 
 Saviour's disposal, and should he permit, I shall rejoice to see 
 my Eleazar at Jerusalem, that we may adore and magnify 
 the matchless grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is God 
 over all, blessed for ever. Amen." 
 
 " Saul." 
 
 WhUe the receipt of this letter filled me 
 with grateful pleasure, on account of Saul, 
 for whom I had so long felt a friendly affec- 
 tion, it also afforded me much satisfaction on 
 account of those disciples who resided with 
 me, and whose prospect of remaining undis- 
 covered was much more probable, since they 
 had nothing to fear from Saul, who was before 
 the object of their apprehensions. 
 
 Some time after these events, there was a 
 treatise written by one Hoshea, a man of 
 very considerable eminence in the profession 
 of medicine, which much engaged the public 
 attention ; it contained a great quantity of 
 elaborate sophistry, and was composed in a 
 very popular style, and its object was to in- 
 validate the miracles wrought by Jesus Christ 
 and his apostles, by representing them as 
 the merely natural effects of certain physical 
 
103 
 
 causes ; this was the only ground that could 
 be taken with any probability of influence on 
 the public mind, for it was in vain to deny 
 their reality, because they still continued to 
 be wrought daily in the view of multitudes of 
 astonished spectators of different descriptions. 
 The enemies of the cross laboured with the 
 most active diligence to promote the circula- 
 tion of this tract, which they imagined to be 
 unanswerable, and many of the scribes were 
 daily employed in transcribing copies of it 
 for dispersion. 
 
 The church, when apprised of it, <^nU- 
 dered it necessary to appoint some suitable 
 person to answer it, and expose the fallacy 
 of Hoshea's reasoning, in order to undeceive 
 those who might be deluded thereby, and, by 
 unanimous consent, Luke, the beloved phy- 
 sician, who was in every respect well quali- 
 fied for the work, was requested to undertake 
 it, rejoicing that it had pleased the great Re- 
 deemer to provide them a person so able to 
 encounter this adversary, on the principles of 
 his own science, and who was well known 
 
104 
 
 and respected through the city for his skill 
 and integrity in the line of his profession. 
 
 Luke readily engaged in the work at their 
 request, desiring the assistance of their united 
 prayers, that the Divine Spirit would enable 
 him to frame such a reply, as might not only 
 prove effectual to the conviction of those who 
 had been deluded, but also to him who had 
 deceived them ; and having completed his 
 work, wherein he not only perfectly inva- 
 lidated all the arguments of the enemy, but 
 effectually turned them against him, proving 
 his entire ignorance of the nature of causes 
 and effects, especially pointing out his ab- 
 surdity in omitting to notice the greatest of 
 all these miracles, the resurrection of Jesus , 
 with its concomitants and effects, the irre- 
 futable evidences of which he clearly and 
 forcibly stated ; he produced it to the church, 
 who, with the apostles, highly approved it, 
 and took the necessary steps to disseminate 
 it as widely as possible. 
 
 The disappointed adversary felt the evident 
 superiority of his opponent, especially as the 
 
105 
 
 popularity it attained proved the advantage the 
 religion of Jesus had received from his feeble 
 opposition, and deprived him of the ample 
 rewards which he had expected to receive 
 from the rulers for his success, and his mor- 
 tified, yet unhumbled pride, preyed so forcibly 
 on his feelings as to produce a state of mental 
 derangement, and in his ravings he was often 
 heard to cry out of the power of the Galilean. 
 This event tended to impress the minds of 
 many with terror, and some of the most vio- 
 lent opposers were afraid to act any longer as 
 persecutors of the believers. 
 
 The disciples of the Saviour consisted 
 chiefly of men who were destitute of human 
 learning and eloquence, and their low and 
 obscure station in human society precluded 
 them from extensive acquaintance with the 
 w T orld, but they knew and felt that none of 
 these accomplishments were necessary to ren- 
 der the doctrine of the cross effectual in the 
 conversion of souls, and they had constant 
 evidence that those men who w r ere made 
 most successful in winning sinners to em- 
 brace the Saviour, were those who had been 
 f3 
 
106 
 
 taught solely of God ; yet they did not de- 
 spise any branch of knowledge of which they 
 were not possessed ; but they were sensible 
 of the proper use of science in general, when 
 consecrated at the foot of the cross, to repel 
 the efforts of false reasoning, and destroy its 
 influence on ignorant minds, and to convince 
 the enemies of divine truth, that though the 
 religion of the gospel could never have been 
 discovered by reason, yet it was in itself 
 highly rational and worthy of its Divine 
 author. Hence the labour of love which had 
 been so successfully accomplished by Luke, 
 endeared him much to the hearts of his 
 brethren. 
 
 It was soon after this circumstance that 
 Saul, being persecuted at Damascus, and 
 having narrowly escaped with his life, came 
 up to Jerusalem, and presented himself to the 
 disciples, desiring to join in fellowship with 
 tliem ; but their surprise was mingled with 
 terror, and many, particularly among the 
 younger and weaker converts, thought his de- 
 signs were insidious ; his past conduct, es- 
 pecially at the death of Stephen, was fresh in 
 
107 
 
 their remembrance; they had heard of the 
 journey of extermination on which he had 
 gone to Damascus, though in general they 
 were ignorant of its results. Nothing that 
 he could himself alledge was of weight to de- 
 stroy their suspicions, as they knew that a 
 man of his brilliant talents, and extensive 
 erudition, was capable of supporting, with 
 spirit, the appearance of any character he 
 chose to assume. & case like his, as stated 
 by himself, required much stronger evidence 
 to render it credible, than the profession of 
 any called out of the world, and not previously 
 known as subtil and malicious enemies to the 
 Redeemer's cause. 
 
 It is true I had communicated to some of 
 them the contents of the letter I before re- 
 cited, but such was the general opinion con- 
 cerning the man, that it was supposed by 
 many to be part of a plan of deep-laid ar- 
 tifice, to worm himself into their confidence, 
 and by obtaining possession of their secrets to 
 be able more effectually to injure them ; but 
 Barnabas, who had corresponded with the 
 saints at Damascus, produced such convinc- 
 
108 
 
 ing proofs of his ardent attachment to that 
 Saviour whom he once hated, and of his hav- 
 ing boldly preached Christ in the face of his 
 enemies ; that they were at length con- 
 strained to credit his account, and with joy 
 admitted him to the most intimate fellowship, 
 admiring the grace that had subdued his 
 proud and prejudiced heart. 
 
 For my own part I had entertained no 
 doubts of the reality of his conversion ever 
 since the reception of his letter ; but my joy 
 at that happy event was much increased when 
 I beheld all those wonderful endowments 
 which I had so much admired in him, now 
 employed with all his constitutional ardour, 
 in the service of the Saviour. It was during 
 the residence of Saul in Jerusalem that a case 
 occurred of a very affecting nature, and which 
 very deeply interested the feelings of the 
 brethren. 
 
 There was one Hananiah, an amiable 
 youth, who had lost both his parents by death 
 at an early age ; a relation of his mother, who 
 was a considerable tradesman in the city, 
 took the orphan under his protection, brought 
 
109 
 
 him up with the tenderness of a parent, and 
 instructed him in his business. This young 
 man had for some time been betrothed to 
 Salome, the daughter and only child of his 
 patron ; she was a lovely woman, of the 
 most sweet and engaging natural temper, 
 possessed many elegant accomplishments, 
 and the affection betwixt the youthful pair 
 was of the most tender and ardent kind. 
 The young man heard the apostles preach, 
 and was called by grace soon after the return 
 of Saul from Damascus, and about the same 
 time the father of SalojSe was removed by 
 sudden death. This event, of course, tended 
 to delay the consummation of the intended 
 nuptials ; but the loss Salome had sustained 
 rendered her doubly dear to the heart of 
 Hananiah, and he strove, by every tender 
 office in his power, to soothe and support 
 her mind, knowing that she had no friend 
 nor protector on earth but himself, her mo- 
 ther having died some years before. She 
 tenderly felt the force of his kind attentions, 
 and all her care was to repay him with 
 equal affection, though she still was warmly 
 
110 
 
 attached to the Sadducean sentiments of her 
 late father, and could not listen to the sug- 
 gestions of her Hananiah, when he pointed 
 out to her Jesus, as the only source of abid- 
 ing consolation. 
 
 A month after the death of her father, Ha* 
 naniah heard Bartholomew preach, who, in 
 his discourse to the church, with the wisdom 
 and tenderness of a father, represented to the 
 young disciples, of both sexes, the many snares 
 and dangers which their age exposed them to, 
 and particularly cautioned them against the 
 formation of imprudent marriage connec- 
 tions, and uniting themselves in those tender 
 bonds, to the enemies of their Lord. 
 
 u Remember," said the venerable sage, 
 " that the more amiable in person and tem- 
 per, and the more kind and affectionate to 
 you, an unbelieving partner proves, the 
 more imminent your danger of being se- 
 duced by such an one from the paths of truth 
 and piety. What present enjoyment can 
 compensate a believer for the loss of the com- 
 forting presence of his Lord ? What an alloy 
 must it be to the happiness of the sweetest 
 
Ill 
 
 intercourse of souls, to reflect that it may 
 soon terminate in eternal separation? And 
 how dreadful must be the apprehension, that 
 your infant race would have early prejudices 
 against the only Saviour instilled into their 
 tender and susceptible minds, from those lips 
 whose dictates they were bound to regard 
 with reverence, and affection? Should dis- 
 tress assail you, what consolation can be ex- 
 pected from one who loves not Jesus? 
 What communion in devotional exercises can 
 subsist in a family, the heads of which are 
 divided? and what reason will there be to 
 expect dishonour to the name of the Re- 
 deemer, and many sorrows to yourselves, if 
 you attempt to form connections betwixt such 
 opposites as light and darkness, Christ and 
 Belial?" 
 
 The mind of Hananiah was sensibly af- 
 fected, by hearing these painful though neces- 
 sary and seasonable truths ; and, at the close 
 of the worship, when he retired from the as- 
 sembly, instead of returning to his home, he 
 directed his steps to the garden of Gethse- 
 mane, whose walks were opened to the 
 
112 
 
 citizens, though the evening was far advanced, 
 and it now promised him a scene of undis- 
 turbed solitude where he might indulge his 
 melancholy reflections. 
 
 He entered the garden, and walking to and 
 fro by the pale light of the moon in a gloomy 
 alley, formed by two rows of spreading cy- 
 press, thus began to give utterance to the op- 
 pressive sensations of his heart. 
 
 "How difficult, and how distressing is my situ- 
 ation, gratitude, compassion and love, unitedly 
 plead in favour of my lovely Salome, I have 
 sought and won her virgin affection, and I feel 
 that she possesses a place, alas, too high in 
 mine! what favours have I not received from her 
 father, favours it is impossible for me to repay 
 even in the least degree, save by returns of 
 kindness and tenderness to his dear orphan 
 daughter. She has now no parent, no friend, 
 no protector in a cruel world but myself, on 
 my supporting arm the destitute mourner hangs 
 as the feeble ivy on the cedar. A refusal on 
 my part to complete our promised union, 
 would probably break her fond, her feeling 
 heart, while the bear thought of forsaking her, 
 
113 
 
 racks with horror every anguishing fibre of 
 mine : but is she not, all lovely as she appears 
 to my imagination, a stranger, an enemy to 
 Jesus ; to that adorable Saviour whose name 
 is dearer than my life, my all ? There in this 
 garden, then the scene of unequalled sorrow, 
 he lay in agony on the ground, and pressed 
 by divine wrath, sweat great drops of blood 
 for me, on yonder hill whose bleak summit 
 reflects the moons soft ray, he bare my sins in 
 his own body on the tree. Here gratitude for 
 infinite obligations swallows up every debt I 
 can possibly owe to creatures, and can I dare 
 to espouse an enemy to my dearest Lord ? I 
 must tear the darling idol from my tortured 
 heart, yes my beloved Salome, I must leave 
 thee, but to what a state ; prejudiced against 
 the Christ of God ! and will not those prejudices 
 receive additional strength from the supposi- 
 tion that my attachment to the Saviour renders 
 me false to my vows, but were not those vows 
 unlawful ? No, surely, when I betrothed her in 
 the awful presence of God, we were both alike 
 Sadducees, and though infinite grace has since 
 wrought an amasing change in me, she remains 
 
114 
 
 unchanged as when she became nay betrothed 
 spouse. O labyrinth of difficulty, what clue 
 shall guide me out of thy perplexing mazes ! 
 Blessed Redeemer, let a ray of thy enlightening 
 Spirit, illuminate the darkness of my soul, 
 shew me the path of duty, and however pain- 
 fuMt may prove, yet assist me, my Lord, to 
 pursue with undeviating steps, the course in 
 which thou wilt have me to go, even though 
 its termination on earth should be misery, dis- 
 traction and death, yet it shall lead to life eter- 
 nal beyond the grave. Thus Hananiah con- 
 tinued to bemoan his perplexed situation till 
 the night was almost past, and at last quitting 
 the garden with feeble steps directed his way 
 to the house of his beloved Salome, and find- 
 ing its inhabitants retired to rest, silently en- 
 tered his chamber, where throwing himself on 
 a couch, he passed the time in restless and 
 melancholy reflections till the sun arose, with- 
 out closing his eyes in sleep. 
 
 When he arose in the morning he opened 
 the sacred word and read the saying of the 
 wise man, " in the multitude of counsellors is 
 safety." The words forcibly impressed his mind 
 
115 
 
 as suitable to his perplexed and bewildered 
 situation, and led him to the determination of 
 communicating the distressed state of his 
 mind to the church, and soliciting both their 
 counsel and their prayers ; this resolution gave 
 him a little present ease and composure, but 
 still there was an important difficulty whi£h 
 arose in his heart, how in the interim he should 
 be able to .support the sight of Salome at 
 breakfast, and in what manner he should con- 
 verse with her ; gladly would he have avoided 
 the interview, but he could form no just and 
 reasonable excuse for absenting himself from 
 her company, and his soul abhored a falsity. 
 
 On entering the room where she was sitting, 
 before he could accost her, she was struck 
 with the pale and gloomy appearance of his 
 countenance, and prevented him by saying, 
 "My dear friend Hananiah, what has befallen 
 you? your appearance indicates either disease 
 or dejection. What is the reason you look more 
 distressed than her you were wont so kindly 
 to console ? " 
 
 " My dear Salome" replied he, " I have been 
 rather restless te night, and perhaps the want 
 
116 
 
 of my usual repose may have occasioned some 
 little alteration in my countenance, which 
 your kind solicitude for me, magnifies into so 
 formidable an evil, but I trust it will soon 
 wear off, and I intreat you not to be concerned 
 on account of it." 
 
 »As he strove to appear more cheerful and to 
 give the conversation a general turn, she said 
 no more on that subject, but he cguld not but 
 observe that she continued to regard him with 
 a look of inquisitive tenderness which pierced 
 his very soul, and had almost overturned all 
 his resolutions, however, as soon as he could 
 with propriety, he left her, and went to the 
 house of Nicodemus, where he knew the 
 believers would assemble that day. 
 
 It was customary in our meetings after they 
 were opened by prayer and praise, for the 
 apostles and elders to enquire of the mem- 
 bers of the church whether any of them had 
 met with any difficulty as to the meaning of 
 the divine word, or any perplexity as to the 
 path of duty, or any circumstance in the course 
 of their experience concerning which they 
 were desirous to receive instruction ? Lebbeus 
 
117 
 
 who took the lead as presiding elder that da)", 
 desired any of the brethren or sisters who had 
 any thing on their minds to mention, to use 
 freedom ; on which invitation Hananiah rose 
 and stated the circumstances of his situation, 
 and the feelings of his mind in consequence 
 of the observations he had heard addressed to 
 them on the proceeding day by the venerable 
 Bartholomew, earnestly requesting informa- 
 tion how T he ought to act in the affair which lay 
 so near his heart, and the supplications of the 
 church on his behalf, that he might be strength- 
 ened to act according to the will of Christ 
 when it should be made known to him. Art 
 thou loosed from a wife said Saul of Tarsus, 
 seek not a wife ? art thou bound to a wife, 
 seek not to be loosed ? but if the unbelieving 
 will depart from their engagements let them 
 depart. A brother or sister is not under bon- 
 dage in such a case. 
 
 The observation of our brother Saul said 
 Lebbeus, applies directly my dear Hananiah, 
 to the statement thou hast given of thy situ- 
 ation, hadst thou been free from all engage- 
 ments at the time when the Lord Jesus called 
 
118 
 
 thee by his grace, it would have been highly 
 criminal to have formed a subsequent connex- 
 ion with a woman who was a stranger to the 
 Saviour, according to the observations of our 
 beloved Bartholomew in his discourse yester- 
 day ; but as marriage is not prohibited to un- 
 believers, but is honourable in all, it is certain 
 that the connexion betwixt thee and this young 
 woman was in no sense unlawfjjjL, and there- 
 fore that vow cannot now be lawfully dispensed 
 with, but on every principle of justice and 
 honesty the contract ought to be completed by 
 marriage, for the religion of Jesus Christ lays 
 its possessors under additional obligations to 
 walk honestly towards them that are without, 
 as well as among themselves. 
 
 It is true, that if on thy representation to 
 thy contracted spouse, a representation which 
 it is thy duty to make with all possible plain- 
 ness and fidelity, of the manner in which the 
 religion of Jesus Christ obliges thee to govern 
 thy house and instruct thy children, she should 
 refuse to fulfil the engagement, she has released 
 thee from thy obligations, and thou art no lon- 
 ger under bondage, but if on the other hand 
 
119 
 
 she submit to thy rules of domestic discipline, 
 thou art bound to complete the intended union, 
 and encouraged to hope that thy desire will be 
 granted in the conversion of thy wife, and the 
 united supplications of the church shall be 
 added to thy own, that the God of all grace 
 may speedily accomplish thy wishes by reveal- 
 ing his Son in her. 
 
 The you^g man heard these words with 
 much affection and many tears, and bowing his 
 head, returned his grateful acknowledgements. 
 When he left the meeting in the evening he 
 retired again to Gethsemane, to indulge the 
 feelings of his heart, and to implore divine di- 
 rection how to address his beloved at his re- 
 turn to her. 
 
 The evening was still and gloomy, the moon 
 was not yet risen, and not a single star emerg- 
 ing from the darkness, shot its feeble rays 
 across the sky; the awful silence uninterrupted 
 by the least sound, and the sable shades of 
 night succeeding to a day of brightness, bus- 
 tle, and activity in the city, presented a contrast 
 which seemed to render solemnity itself more 
 solemn. 
 
120 
 
 With some difficulty he traced his way to his 
 former walk, and while he sat down on the 
 mossy turf to wait the rising of the moon, 
 these were his soliloquies. 
 
 How changeable are the views of feeble 
 mortals ! how different are my present feel- 
 ings from those of last night ! then duty 
 seemed imperiously to forbid my indulging 
 the fondest wishes of my heart ; \aat now the 
 further light which has been afforded me into 
 the Divine will, assures me that I must pre- 
 pare to indulge them, but with caution and 
 trembling — a new and indispensable duty to 
 my Lord, my Salome, and myself, requires 
 new grace and strength from Jesus to enable 
 me to perform it aright ; I am freed from one 
 load of perplexity that pressed down my soul, 
 but another, no less trying, falls on me in its 
 stead ! If my love remains an enemy to my 
 Redeemer, ought I not, (dearly as I love 
 her) to wish that she may refuse me for avow- 
 ing my attachment to his commands, yet,- 
 alas ! how do I dread to hear the fatal refusal 
 from her lips ; be still my throbbing, my re- 
 bellious heart remember that a murmur 
 
121 
 
 against whatever may prove the event of duty 
 is treason to my Lord ; but O, thou dear ex- 
 alted Saviour ! have mercy on the immortal 
 spirit of her I love ; let her not perish in un- 
 belief; but whether I shall ever embrace her 
 or not as mine in this world, make her thine 
 for ever; and then, though we never meet 
 more below the skies, we shall meet above, 
 we shall be still more closely united in that 
 blessed region where there is neither marry- 
 ing nor giving in marriage. 
 
 But now especially strengthen me against 
 the power of temptation ; and should she re- 
 fuse to accede to the completion of our union, 
 except on the dreadful condition of my relax- 
 ing in my obedience to thee ; or refuse to unite 
 with me in the worship of the family, may I 
 lose her for ever, rather than forfeit my alle- 
 giance to the Saviour of my soul." 
 
 The moon now rising from behind the east- 
 ern hills, though her face was now obscured by 
 clouds, shed a faint light through the gloom, 
 and Hananiah, arising, turned his face 
 homewards. 
 
 When he entered the door he sighed in- 
 
 G 
 
122 
 
 wardly. " O Lord ! I beseech thee send now 
 prosperity !" and on going into the parlour, 
 he was much surprised to see Salome, who 
 he supposed had been retired to rest, sitting 
 in a musing posture with a book lying open 
 before her. At his entrance she started, and, 
 rising to come towards him, he saw her fine 
 eyes moistened with tears, which she, in 
 vain, endeavoured to conceal from his pe- 
 netrating glance. He accosted her in the 
 tenderest accents of sympathetic affection. 
 
 " It was but this morning," said he, " my 
 dear Salome supposed me to be melancholy, 
 but surely from her appearance and manner, 
 I have now much stronger reasons to suppose 
 that her tender heart is a prey to some 
 hidden sorrow. Tell me, my love, the cause 
 o/your distress, and whether any new event 
 has tended to disturb your tranquility. Be- 
 lieve me when I assure you that nothing lies 
 so near my heart as the tenderest concern 
 for your felicity, and yet you have sorrows to 
 which you keep your friend, your Hananiah, 
 a stranger." 
 
 " Dear, faithful friend of my soul," re- 
 
123 
 
 plied the weeping fair one, " you were not 
 wont to leave your Salome so long and so 
 frequently alone, as you have lately done ; 
 and yet when I inform you, with as much 
 composure as possible, of the surprising event 
 which has occurred during your absence the 
 past day, I am persuaded that you wilfrather 
 rejoice than regret that absence which, in the 
 course of Divine Providence, has led to such 
 amazing results. 
 
 " As ever since you have joined the Naza- 
 renes, you have so frequently left me under 
 colour of attending their meetings for the 
 worship of Jesus Christ, I have for some 
 weeks past entertained a suspicion that it 
 was only a pretext to disguise the real cause 
 of your absence, which I feared arose from an 
 abatement in the affection you had possessed 
 for me ; yet I could not reconcile this idea to 
 the tenderness you manifested in my com- 
 pany, which was so naturally expressed on 
 every occasion, that I found it impossible to 
 regard it as counterfeited ; but when you 
 left me yesterday morning, and remained out 
 all the day, and nearly the whole night, I 
 g2 
 
124 
 
 began to fear that you had commenced a secret 
 intrigue with some other woman, and that it 
 was, for her conversation, that you quitted 
 me. Tortured with jealousy, and almost 
 despairing of ever regaining your lost affec- 
 tions, I was a prey to the most bitter sensa- 
 tions of mind ; but when I gaw you in the 
 morning looking pale and almost dejected, 
 I could not reproach you, I felt how nearly 
 your welfare affected me, and I was sorry you 
 left me so soon. After your departure, feel- 
 ing myself perplexed and uneasy, I took up 
 the holy books of Moses, merely to search 
 for somewhat which might, for a while, divert 
 my thoughts from you, and while I was read- 
 ing the blessings our father Jacob pronounced 
 on his sons before his death, I was struck in 
 a manner I never felt before till that moment 
 with these words : — ' The sceptre shall not 
 depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from be- 
 tween his feet, until Shiloh come ; and unto 
 him shall the gathering of the people be.' 
 I know that by Shiloh must be intended the 
 long-expected Messiah, the hope of our fa- 
 thers ; and my conscience immediately told 
 
125 
 
 me that our tributary state, under the yoke 
 of the idolatrous Romans, was an undeniable 
 proof that the government was now departed 
 from Judah, therefore Shiloh must assuredly 
 be come ; but, then, who can be the person ? 
 All our national sects, though mutually averse 
 to each other, agree in asserting that he has 
 not yet appeared, and, with exception of a few 
 impostors, whose claims were instantly con- 
 futed at their first appearance, no one but your 
 Jesus has ever laid claim to the title, nor has 
 there been any extraordinary gathering of the 
 people but to him. 
 
 " My sceptical heart rejected this thought with 
 horror, but it returned so strongly that I was 
 induced at length to search the sacred books, 
 in order to collect from the prophets all the in- 
 formation they afford respecting the person 
 and character of the Messiah, and whether 
 their description accorded to Jesus or not, 
 and from the first revelation of him to Adam 
 and Eve in Paradise, I found he was to be a 
 bruised sufferer, though finally victorious over 
 the serpent ; from David, that God was to be 
 very wrath with his anointed; that he was to 
 
126 
 
 be betrayed by a pretended friend ; that his 
 hands and his feet were to be pierced, and that 
 he should be mocked and reviled in his suffer- 
 ings ; from Isaiah, that he should be despised 
 and rejected of men, a man of sorrows, bruised 
 and wounded for our transgressions, bear the 
 sins of many, and be numbered with the trans- 
 gressors ; from Zechariah, that the sword 
 should awake against the man, Jehovah's fel- 
 low, and that he should be wounded in the 
 house of his friends ; and from Daniel, that at 
 a period, exactly corresponding with the pre- 
 sent time, Messiah should be cut off, but not 
 for himself. The concurring force of these 
 divine testimonies, marking out the sufferings 
 of the Messiah, and the time of their occur- 
 rence, coinciding so exactly in every circum- 
 stance with the sufferings and death of Jesus 
 of Nazareth, with the force of an irresistible 
 torrent, bore down all my deep-rooted preju- 
 dices before it ; and with astonishment I cried 
 out, It is ! It must be he ! for there can be no 
 other to whom all these characters apply ; 
 but he who was the object of my blind aver- 
 sion ; surelv Jesus is the Son of God, he is the 
 
127 
 
 King of Israel ! Streams of penitential tears 
 gushed from my eyes, and I fell down before 
 him, fervently imploring him to pardon the 
 blindness of my prejudice, and admit me, 
 though the most unworthy, to a share of his 
 precious salvation. 
 
 " During this time my thoughts had been 
 occupied so entirely with these new and un- 
 expected discoveries, that you, my Hananiah, 
 and those jealous surmises concerning your 
 conduct, which had previously afflicted my 
 mind, were totally forgotten, nor did they once 
 occur to my recollection ; but after I had thus 
 prayed, I felt a sudden weight of peace and 
 serenity descend on my soul, and a new 
 warmth of affection kindling in my heart to- 
 wards the followers of Jesus ; then I thought 
 of you, not as before with jealous suspicions 
 of your infidelity, but with more endearing 
 sensations of affection than I had ever felt 
 before, as the friend of Jesus, the Christ with 
 whom I hope to spend not only time but eter- 
 nity ; and I longed for this happy moment of 
 your return, that you might rejoice to see your 
 
128 
 
 Salome desirous to be a follower of the Sa- 
 viour." 
 
 Surprise and joy rendered Hananiah for a 
 while silent and motionless, till at length, 
 recovering himself in some degree, he flew to 
 his beloved maid, and,* with a freedom he 
 had never attempted before, clasped her to his 
 bosom in a chaste embrace, mingling his tears 
 with hers. Thus relieved, he at length broke 
 silence in interrupted accents, and cried — 
 " Dearest friend of my heart, now doubly 
 mine in Christ Jesus, you know not, you 
 cannot know, half the joy I feel in contem- 
 plating the amazing change that grace has 
 wrought, till I have acquainted you with the 
 events that preceded it, and the dreadful 
 state of distress wherein my mind has been 
 involved during the two past days." 
 
 He then gave her an account of the effect of 
 Bartholomew's sermon on his mind, and the 
 succeeding events as related,, observing that 
 the mercy he had witnessed so far transcended 
 his hopes, that he was overwhelmed with 
 gratitude for the kindness of the great 
 
129 
 
 Redeemer, and as Salome was now delighted 
 to join with him in prayer and praise, they 
 fell down before the Lord, and Hananiah, hav- 
 ing offered up their united supplications and 
 acknowledgements, they separated, and re- 
 tired to their rest. 
 
 Their marriage was not long delayed, and 
 the whole church rejoiced with them, saying — 
 <' What hath God wrought." The zeal and 
 ardour of the disciples appeared evidently, 
 in their constant attendance on the frequent 
 meetings for prayer which were held from 
 house to house, as well as on their more 
 general and public assemblies. 
 
 In these social meetings, either of the apos- 
 tles or elders occasionally presided. The 
 word of Gk)d was read, and hymns of praise 
 sung, to the ascended Redeemer. The bre- 
 thren, when called on in rotation by the pre- 
 siding elder, offered up fervent supplications, 
 and as several in succession were engaged in 
 prayer, it was very observable that they were 
 remarkably free from vain repetitions, and 
 there was a beautiful and edifying variety in 
 the ground they went over; some were large 
 g 3 
 
130 
 
 and diffuse in pleading for spiritual^ bless- 
 ings ; others excelled in interceding for the 
 church in general, and the extension of the gos- 
 pel ; others were more led to state the trials and 
 temptations of their afflicted brethren before 
 the Father of mercies ; some excelled in 
 pleading the promises, others in thankful ac- 
 knowledgements of favours received, and 
 many of very different degrees of gifts, were 
 alike earnest in praying for those who laboured 
 in the word and doctrine, especially when 
 they were the subjects of persecution for the 
 Saviour's cause. 
 
 Though they depended on the promised in- 
 fluence of the Holy Spirit to direct and assist 
 them in prayer, they were sensible that his 
 aid was not promised in order to supercede the 
 use of means, and therefore the elders pri- 
 vately and affectionately pointed out to the 
 brethren any improprieties of matter or man- 
 ner in their prayers, which might tend to ob- 
 struct their mutual edification, and those 
 friendly hints were received with equal kind- 
 ness, and contributed much to the improvement 
 of their spiritual gifts. 
 
131 
 
 Many were the gracious and immediate an- 
 swers which our heavenly Father afforded them, 
 but none appeared more wonderful than that 
 which occurred after the martyrdom of James 
 the brother of John, when Herod at the time 
 of the passover apprehended Peter and con- 
 fined him in close prison. 
 
 As the numerous assemblies which that fes- 
 tival drew together afforded such superior op- 
 portunities of diffusing the knowledge of 
 divine truth among multitudes who had been 
 total strangers to it, the want of such a faith- 
 ful and succesful labourer as Peter, was deep- 
 ly felt by the whole church ; thousands of 
 whom owned him as their father in Christ, 
 and their joint petitions were offered up inces- 
 santly for his liberation ; again and again they 
 repeated their fervent cries that the God whom 
 they served would in some way interpose^ to 
 restore him to them : but still he remained in 
 prison, till the night previous to the day in 
 which Herod intended to bring him out to execu- 
 tion, many of them were assembled at the house 
 of Mary the mother of John, sirnamed Mark. 
 Never did I perceive on any occasion, such an 
 
132 
 
 effusion of the Holy Spirit as a spirit oi 
 prayer, as was then evident, in the fervent ad- 
 dresses of all the brethren who successivly en- 
 gaged as the mouth of the Church ; they wept> 
 they pleaded, they cried, and their mouths 
 were filled with arguments ; it was intended 
 to continue their supplications the whole night. 
 But soon after mid-night they were interrupted 
 by a violent knocking at the outer gate of the 
 court, when a damsel who was sent out to 
 hearken, lest it should be some of their ene- 
 mies, who had obtained an intimation of their 
 meeting, returned almost breathless, without 
 opening the gate, and told them that Peter 
 was there. Scarce could we credit her tidings, 
 though she persisted in it, till some said she 
 was certainly seized with a sudden attack of 
 insanity, and others cried out that Peter was 
 privately murdered in the prison, and an ap- 
 parition of him sent to announce his fate ; but 
 as the knocking still continued, some of the 
 brethren went out, and , to their surprise, found 
 him there, and introduced him, who calling for 
 attention, gave us the wondrous account of his 
 deliverance by an angel. 
 
133 
 
 An answer so immediate and glorious, 
 tended greatly to animate us in repairing to 
 the throne of grace, under all our difficulties 
 and trials, and many who had been weak in 
 faith, were strengthened and encouraged 
 thereby. 
 
 I pass by many interesting events which oc- 
 curred, in order to return more directly to the 
 narration of what especially regarded my own 
 family ; I lived much at home except when 
 duty required my absence from that sweet 
 retirement, where 1 enjoyed much pleasure, in 
 the pious and affectionate conversation of my 
 Nirza, now still more endeared to me as the 
 mother of two lovely infants, and where my 
 comforts were increased by beholding my 
 aged mother, though decaying in her health, 
 enjoying the consolations of the gospel, and 
 evidently influenced by the truth in all her 
 conduct. Called in advanced age, she was 
 making a rapid progress in spiritual minded- 
 ness, and looking forward with pleasure to the 
 approach of that day, which should set her 
 spirit free from the prison of mortal ffesh, and 
 introduce her to the immediate presence of her 
 
134 
 
 God. Long my mother did not remain on 
 earth, one evening when we were conversing 
 together on the delightful subject of the com- 
 munion of saints with their Lord, and each 
 other in abetter world, shesuddenly exclaimed, 
 " He comes ! He comes ! Immanuel calls me, 
 farewell my beloved children, love and follow 
 Jesus, we shall soon meet again," and fell 
 backward into the arms of Nirza. I flew to 
 her and raised her, but the happy spirit was 
 fled. We wept over the lifeless clay, but joy 
 was mingled with our tears, at the thought of 
 her happiness, and we felt grateful to our God, 
 for the kindness manifested to her in such a 
 delightful translation to the skies. 
 
 About six months after her death, my dear 
 friend Jonathan the Publican, who as I inform- 
 ed you, was called by grace, at the same time 
 the pride of my heart was subdued under Peter's 
 first sermon, and who had been two years 
 absent from Jerusalem, having accompanied 
 the Apostle Thomas on a mission to the dis- 
 tant regions of India, entered my house un- 
 expectedly, and saluting me, said, " My dear 
 brother, I have thought it my duty to call on 
 
135 
 
 you on my return, even before I delivered the 
 letters which I am entrusted with to the Apos- 
 tles, as I could not delay communicating to 
 you the tidings which I am persuaded will be 
 the most grateful news you could possible hope 
 to receive till your Redeemer calls you home 
 to the enjoyment of himself." Surprised at his 
 address, neither Nirza nor myself could form 
 any possible conjecture, as to the nature of 
 the intelligence he was the bearer of, but 
 after the first moments of surprise were over, 
 and we had provided some refreshment for 
 the traveller, we besought him to satisfy the 
 curiosity he had excited. 
 
 He replied, " I shall not then detail many 
 events of the journey, on which I accompanied 
 Thomas the Apostle, but reserve them to future 
 opportunities of leisure, and at once enter on 
 the narrative of an event which occured in 
 India, and wherein you are particularly in- 
 terested. 
 
 " We were travelling through a cultivated 
 part of the country, seeking an opportunity of 
 conversing with the natives, on the great sub- 
 ject of our mission, the crucified Jesus, when 
 
136 
 
 we beheld on a seat erected beneath a spread- 
 ing fig-tree, which stood in the court before 
 a noble mansion, alnan sitting, who appeared 
 to be about seventy years old, and, who had 
 totally lost his sight ; he was evidently a per- 
 son of distinction, and was attended by several 
 servants, who were using every effort to please 
 and amuse him; but it appeared with little 
 success, nothing seemed agreeable to him. 
 Upon his countenance sat the marks of rage, 
 disappointment, and chagrin ; and the loss of 
 his sight, instead of resulting merely from the 
 effects of age, was rather in our opinion, oc- 
 casioned by the continual ferment of violent, 
 and uncurbed passions, as his whole frame was 
 agitated with fretfulness and discontent. 
 
 "As he was incapable of discerning our ap- 
 proach, he continued talking hastily to his at- 
 tendants, and we drew near enough without 
 being observed, to hear him utter expressions 
 to this effect. 
 
 * Is it not sufficient that I have been plagued 
 so many years, by the desertion of my only 
 child, to follow the God of the circumcised 
 Jews, on whom may the curses of our affronted 
 
137 
 
 deities fall for ever, but you must all conspire 
 to torment a poor old man with your officious 
 nonsence ?' During this part of his narrative, 
 Nirza felt herself strangely affected and 
 changed colour several times, but neither of 
 us spoke, but in anxious silence listened, while 
 Jonathan went on with the old man's com- 
 plaint. * You wretched crew, I know you are 
 all squandering without concern, the wealth 
 which it has cost me so many years toil to 
 procure, and when you have wasted it all, you 
 will leave me to perish in darkness ; O that I 
 could satiate my revenge upon you ! had I 
 my sight, I would sacrifice you ye varlets, to 
 the god of riches, but it is all over and I must 
 be miserable for ever without deserving it.' 
 
 " We listened a while to his ravings with sen- 
 sations of mingled pity and terror, till at length 
 the Apostle calling him by his name, said, 
 < Calanus, that God against whom thou art 
 raging, because thou knowest him not, is the 
 Creator of all things, it is he who formed thine 
 eyes and can restore them to thee again, and 
 though thou art wishing to enjoy the light, only 
 that it may afford thee opportunity to gratify 
 
138 
 
 the malignity of thy wicked heart, in beholding 
 the misery of thy inoffending attendants, 
 whom thou wouldest sacrifice to thy accursed 
 lust of gold. Be it known to thee also, that 
 he can communicate to thee a new nature, and 
 bless thee with an happiness, the nature of 
 which it has never entered into thy heart to 
 conceive, and that thou mayest now know his 
 power, I say unto thee in the name of Jesus 
 Christ of Nazareth, look up, and behold the 
 sun." 
 
 The feelings of myself and my wife at this 
 moment were inexpressible, and at length af- 
 ter several fruitless efforts my Nirza cried out, 
 "O Jonathan, my father! my poor unhappy 
 father!" "Yes, my dear friend" said Jonathan, 
 "it was indeed your father, but endeavour to 
 hear the result. 
 
 " Calanus immediately opening his eyes, ut- 
 tered a loud cry of astonishment and sunk 
 down in a swoon ; his attendants endeavoured 
 to restore him, and on the first return of his 
 senses, beholding the Apostle who stood be- 
 fore him, he said, * O! who art thou that ap- 
 pearest by thy look and address to be one of 
 
139 
 
 that nation which 1 hated, and who is that 
 Jesus,* in whose name thou hast restored my 
 sight ? Is he the God of the Jews ' to worship 
 whom my only daughter left me? Tell me that 
 I may thank him for his mercy." 
 
 " Yes Calanus" replied Thomas, " he is the 
 God of the Jews, and of the Gentiles also,butit 
 was not to worship him, that thy daughter left 
 her father's house ; for though she was made 
 sensible of the vanity of depending on the false 
 gods whom thou hadst taught her to worship, 
 yet both she and her teacher Eleazar, were 
 then ignorant of the true glory of the God of 
 Israel, but now to her also is made known the 
 mystery of godliness, God manifest in the 
 flesh, even Jesus, who was crucified as an im- 
 postor by the blinded Jews, but being risen 
 from the dead and ascended to the throne of 
 his Father, he hath sent and commissioned us 
 his servants to preach repentance and remis- 
 sion of sins in his name among all nations, 
 beginning at Jerusalem, where many of his 
 murderers have obtained mercy, through the 
 merit of that blood which they wickedly shed, 
 
140 
 
 for he prayed for them to his Father when they 
 nailed him to the cross, saying, * Father for- 
 give them, they know not what they do.' And 
 while I call on thee to believe his testimonies, 
 and receive the remission of thy sins ; I exhort 
 thee to repent of thy malice and revenge, and 
 to love thine enemies for his sake, who died 
 to bring strangers home, and to reconcile 
 enemies through his blood." 
 
 " O thou messenger of glad tidings !" he re- 
 plied with tears, " I believe thy words, for I 
 feel more ardent love to this blessed Saviour for 
 opening the eyes of my mind, than for res- 
 toring my sight. O how changed is the dis- 
 position of my heart ! I hated God, myself, 
 and all mankind ; but now I seem to myself 
 to live a new life, to reside in a new world, 
 and to breathe the air of love: instead of 
 wishing evil as I once did to every one around 
 me, I feel an earnest desire for the w T elfare 
 and happiness even of mine enemies ! but 
 come in thou blessed of the Lord, and all that 
 are with thee, that while thou and thy com- 
 panions partake of the refreshments of ray 
 
141 
 
 house, I may hear more of Jesus, and that 1 
 may learn the situation of my dear and long 
 lost Nirza." 
 
 " We entered the house together, and beheld 
 all the domestics pleasingly surprised at the 
 unprecedented mildness of their lately fero- 
 cious master ; they hastened to provide a din- 
 ner, and we soon sat down to a well furnished 
 table, where after the Apostle had given 
 thanks, all our conversation related to the per- 
 son and love of our Redeemer, and Thomas 
 gave Calanus a particular account of your 
 marriage and the conversion of Nirza, with 
 the events that followed, a relation which while 
 it delighted, almost overpowered the feelings 
 of the poor old man. 
 
 " In your father's house we took up our abode 
 for a time, and as the Apostle saw it best to 
 continue there at his request to preach around 
 the neighbourhood, and your father was very 
 desirous of communicating the joyful tidings 
 of his conversion to you, I was dispatched 
 with this letter, and also with the further com- 
 munications of the Apostle to his brethren, 
 the Apostles and Elders at Jerusalem." 
 
142 
 
 It was a considerable time before either of 
 us, overcome with joy and gratitude, could be- 
 come sufficiently collected to read the letter, 
 and when I began, it was longer before we 
 could go through it ; after reading a sentence 
 or two, I was obliged to lay it down, till we 
 had both vented our feelings in joyful tears. 
 As nearly as I can recollect, it ran thus. 
 
 " Nirza my long lost ! long neglected child ! thy father, thy 
 cruel and bloody-minded, but now, thanks be to the Saviour 
 of sinners, thy penitent and affectionate father, employs 
 his sight which he had lost for several years, but which has 
 been miraculously restored to him by Thomas the Apostle of 
 Jesus, with whom thou art acquainted, to inform thee that 
 thy prayers are answered ; that thy unnatural parent has re- 
 ceived from the dear Redeemer, the forgiveness of his trans- 
 gressions, and the renovation of his soul. 
 
 "Tell thy beloved busband, that though the long distance 
 which divides us, and the advanced age of thy father, renders 
 it improbable that you should be able to take a journey to In- 
 dia in time to close his eyes ; an event which would be grate- 
 ful to his heart, yet he rejoices in the prospect of meeting you 
 both, my beloved children in a better world, and in the imme- 
 diate presence of our Saviour God. 
 
 " Jonathan can inform you the circumstances which led to my 
 conversion, but neither he nor myself can fully describe the 
 amazing change produced by the gospel of Christ, on my 
 
143 
 
 heart, especially respecting those two reigning abominations, 
 malice, and covetousness, which entirely governed me. 
 
 "After my Nirza, the object of my fondest care had left me, 
 enraged at her escape, I sought her in vain, to offer her 
 a sacrifice to our infernal deities. As I had no hope of discover- 
 ing her retreat, I left Judea under the power of enmity 
 against the God of Israel, and returned to this country, tor- 
 mented by raging passions. After I came home to my house, 
 .heir power over me seemed to augment daily. I grew more 
 and more savage and brutish in my conduct towards my do- 
 mestics, turbulent nnd conflicting passions kept my mind in a 
 state of continual agitation, like the waves of the ocean, 
 when its surface is swept by tempestuous winds, and at length 
 brought on a fever, which produced a disease of the eyes, 
 which ended in total blindness. 
 
 " Though I was more dependent than ever on the care of my 
 attendants, yet I repaid all their assiduities with execrations ; 
 though I was incapable of enjoying my weatlh, I grew more 
 attached to it than ever, and thought all my servants were 
 squandering it away ; miserable as my life was, I alike dreaded 
 its close, which would remove me for ever from a world which 
 was my all, and its continuance, lest I should be forced to 
 endure want and poverty. 
 
 " It was in this wretched situation, while panting with rage, 
 I sat under the fig-tree in the court, uttering fruitless ravings; 
 the beloved Thomas as an angel of mercy was sent by tbe 
 Lord Jesus to speak in his name, words which not only removed 
 the scales from my eyes, but also the veil from my heart. Yes 
 my children, the salvation of Jesus has entered the soul of 
 your father, and delivered him from the power of those sins 
 which seemed interwoven with his existance. I am become 
 
144 
 
 dead to the world, nor do I value its riches, hut that I may 
 impart supply to the needy ; and my rancorous heart is sub- 
 dued by the love of Jesus, so that I love mine enemies, and 
 and wonder how I could ever indulge a rancorous thought." 
 
 Expressions of gratitude to the Saviour, 
 and affection to us, concluded the epistle, 
 which when we had finished, we rejoiced for 
 the consolation. 
 
 To return to the affairs of the Church, it is 
 needful to look back awhile to the time when 
 Peter resided at Joppa. 
 
 Though the flood of light, which Jesus, 
 during the time of his sojourning here, had 
 poured into the souls of his disciples, and the 
 additional communications they had received 
 on the day of Pentecost, had given them lu- 
 cid views of his divine person, and of his pro- 
 phetic and priestly offices ; yet they as well as 
 the whole church, had still but faint and indis- 
 tinct views of the nature and glory of that 
 spiritual kingdom, to erect which was one 
 grand end of his coming into the world. And 
 they were not yet divested of their ancient 
 Jewish prejudices ; the peculiar favours which 
 God had bestowed on Israel, instead of humb- 
 
145 
 
 ling the generality of the people had been 
 abused by them, as food for the pride of their 
 hearts, and they were accustomed to regard 
 the Gentiles as an inferior rank of beings, 
 and though the disciples of the Saviour had 
 felt his love overcoming their self-righteous- 
 ness, and leading them humbly to expect eter- 
 nal life only on account of his merit, yet the 
 early prejudices they had entertained against 
 the Gentiles, were not instantaneously sub- 
 dued ; this appeared in those who where scat- 
 tered abroad by persecution, preached the gos- 
 pel to the Jews only. Even Peter was infected 
 with this national spirit, and an extraordinary 
 vision was necessary to prevail on him, to 
 visit even a proselyte, who had sent for him 
 by the direction of an angel. 
 
 The glorious and unexampled success which 
 attended his visit, in the descent of the Holy 
 Spirit on all his audience without exception, 
 'when related publicly by him on his return, 
 astonished the church, and wrought an amaz- 
 ing revolution in the views of those who had 
 blamed him for his conduct, insomuch that 
 they exclaimed with surprise, then hath God 
 H 
 
146 
 
 also unto the Gentiles granted repentance 
 unto life, and the result of this event was 
 that a new stimulus was given to missionary 
 zeal. 
 
 Those pious and zealous men who were in- 
 clined to devote themselves to missionary 
 work, did not run before they were sent ; they 
 made known their desire to the church, who 
 with the apostles and elders, examined strictly 
 their motives and qualifications, and those 
 whom they considered as fitted by the Lord 
 Jesus for the work, were solemnly designated 
 to it by prayer and fasting, accompanied with 
 laying on them the apostle's hands. 
 
 But though such only who were thus sanc- 
 tioned, were considered as regular mission- 
 aries, a portion of the spirit, was felt by the 
 whole church, and each individual employed 
 his energies in the diffusion of divine truths in 
 various ways. 
 
 Some devoted their leisure to the instruc- 
 tion of children in the holy scriptures, which 
 they taught them to read, and endeavoured to 
 explain to them in familiar language, suited to 
 their ages and capacities. 
 
147 
 
 Others visited the afflicted, and while they, 
 by every kind office in their power, sought to 
 alleviate their sorrows, improved the interest 
 they acquired in their affection, by their tender 
 attentions, by communicating to them spiritual 
 instruction; and pointed them to the only 
 source of abiding consolation, the compas- 
 sionate Saviour. 
 
 Not a few employed themselves, in trans- 
 cribing portions of the scriptures, to distribute 
 gratuitously to the poor. Some visited every 
 house in their neighbourhood in succession 
 where they could gain admittance, and sought 
 the most favourable opportunities of gradually 
 introducing religious conversation in such 
 a manner, as might least offend their prejudices 
 to whom they addressed themselves, and lead 
 their attention to the concerns of their immor- 
 tal souls. 
 
 Others watched with tender care, those who 
 appeared to have received serious impressions 
 by their occasional attendance, on the preach- 
 ing of the apostles and elders, earnestly so- 
 licitous that their blossoms might produce 
 H2 
 
148 
 
 e 
 
 abiding fruit, and not terminate in a rn^re 
 formal or legal profession, nor subsiding 
 entirely leave them under increased hardness 
 of heart. 
 
 Nor were the most abandoned sinners neg- 
 lected, the prisons were explored by those 
 sons of christian benevolence, and their 
 wretched inhabitants exhorted to flee from the 
 wrath to come, and directed to the friend of 
 sinners for salvation. 
 
 Though in many pleasing instances, the di- 
 vine blessing attend these varied labours of 
 love, and many real converts were added to the 
 Lord, yet they who thus imitated the conduct 
 of him who went about doing good, were often 
 exercised with severe trials of their faith and 
 patience. 
 
 But perhaps the most severe trial of these 
 graces, was that, which believing parents felt, 
 when the children of their house discovered 
 awful proofs of the depravity of the heart, and 
 neither parental nor divine authority had any 
 influence to restrain them from indulging pro- 
 phane and licentious dispositions ; my Nirza 
 
 ' 
 
149 
 
 and myself were for years severely pained with 
 the conduct of some of our own children, on 
 whom correction, instruction, and example ap- 
 peared totally lost; yet amidst our distressing 
 fears on their account, this painful dispensation 
 of providence, was a most instructive one, for 
 while it led us often with tears to the throne 
 of grace, and taught us earnestly to plead tin 
 promises of a covenant God on their behalf, 
 it gave us deep humiliating views of our re- 
 bellions against our Heavenly Father, and 
 especially of our ungrateful requitals of his 
 love by our manifold backslidings, after calling 
 grace, and led us to bewail the imperfections 
 we discerned in our conduct towards our chil- 
 dren, and to seek strength from our Redeemer, 
 to enable us so to walk before our house, as t< ■ 
 induce them to view religion in a favourable 
 light, while we waited in humble faith for the 
 gracious display of that sovereign power, whirl i 
 alone could make them a willing people. 
 
 And when in either of them, we discern any 
 favourable appearance of concern for their eter- 
 nal welfare, our cries to God were redoubled 
 on their behalf, that thev might not rest in 
 
150 
 
 convictions without an actual experience of the 
 Saviour's Jove, and blessed be God, in one or 
 two instances, we had at length satisfaction 
 that the God of Abraham, was indeed the God 
 of our seed. 
 
 After the return of Thomas from India, to 
 relate the particulars of his succesful mission, 
 and to solicit the assistance of some fellow- 
 labourers to accompany him thither, my heart 
 and that of Nirza, were strongly inclined to 
 accompany him and his fellow-missionaries on 
 their journey, with the view of seeing and con- 
 versing with our beloved father Calanus. 
 
 I pass the circumstances of our journey, the 
 protection afforded us amidst dangers and 
 wanderings ; the occasional opportunities 
 which the apostle and his companions met 
 with, of pursuing the grand object of their 
 mission, and the success with which they were 
 favoured. In this we rejoiced, but the particular 
 object of our journey was continually on our 
 minds, and as we drew nearer the end of it, 
 we felt more impatient than we ought to arrive 
 at the habitation of him whom we sought, and 
 the consequence of our eager impatience wms 
 
151 
 
 an abatement of the fervor of our affection 
 for tfie Saviour. Ah, how true is it, that the 
 christian's greatest dangers arise from placing 
 the dearest of creatures too near our heart ! 
 
 But God knows well how to break the snare 
 of heart idolatry. We were now arrived 
 within three day's journey of the mansion of 
 our father, and Thomas and his companions 
 had just parted from us for different stations 
 in the neighbourhood, when my beloved wife 
 was suddenly attacked by a violent fever, which 
 rendered her, at least for the present, incapable 
 of travelling farther. 
 
 The afflictions of the people of God, how- 
 ever severe, are always accompanied with 
 mercies ; and we could but see that goodness 
 and mercy was still following us, for we were 
 now arrived at a pleasant village called Ebri, 
 where we could procure much better accom- 
 modations than we could have done, had my 
 wife's sickness befallen her at any former part 
 of our journey, after we had left the land of 
 Israel. 
 
 This painful dispensation was however a 
 profitable one, it leads us both to a close ex- 
 
152 
 
 amination of our hearts and conduct, that we 
 might be led into the cause and design of the 
 chastisement, and we saw clearly that the most 
 lawful pursuits when followed with to much 
 avidity, tend to draw away the heart from God, 
 as certainly, and more secretly and impercep- 
 tibly than gross evils. 
 
 One day as I was sitting pensively by the 
 side of the couch on which Nirza lay, I said 
 tenderly to her, my love you are very ill ; our 
 worldly comforts are at a great distance from 
 us ; your sufferings are heavy, are you not 
 ready to regret the long journey you have taken, 
 and wish yourself at home ? 
 
 " I shall never be at home till I behold the 
 Saviour above, that is the only desirable attain- 
 ment, but as to other things is it of much 
 import in what particular stage of his travels 
 the weary pilgrim receives his final dismission 
 from the perils of the way ; and are we not 
 travelling in the path of duty, and where our 
 Lord would have us to be?" 
 
 Alas I fear my Nirza, I have been the 
 cause of the painful sufferings of her I love, my 
 hasty impatience to see our father, has I fear 
 
153 
 
 caused my Lord to rebuke my folly, by keep- 
 ing us prisoners here. 
 
 " If this be the cause my husband, thy wife 
 is equally to be blamed, for she has been as 
 restless or more so for the sight of her father . 
 than thou canst possibly be." 
 
 Let us then both attend to the important 
 lesson we are taught by the events, to pla*c 
 our happiness more entirely in our God, and 
 leave all inferior concerns in his hands. 
 
 " Yes, as he has given us himself as oni 
 everlasting portion, let us ever consider our 
 unspeakable happiness, and think whatever 
 disappointments or trials here assault us, our 
 best interest is secure." 
 
 But my love as submission to the divine 
 will, and thankfulness for whatever befals us. 
 by no means prevent our using every lawful 
 means of alleviating or removing the pressure 
 of calamity, I think it highly prudent that as 
 I leave you in the hands of kind and carefu I 
 attendants, I should hasten forward to apprise 
 your father of your situation, and to request 
 him to return hither with me. 
 
 " Go then," said she, " my beloved, for as I am 
 h3 
 
154 
 
 apprehensive my present sickness will termi- 
 nate in death, I earnestly wish to see him 
 before I die." 
 
 I departed with all possible speed not will- 
 ing to lose a moment, though with a most pain- 
 ful pressure on my heart from her last words, 
 for I had not conceived the idea before of the 
 immediate danger of her removal, but had 
 flattered myself that a few days rest would 
 restore her ; her own apprehensions therefore 
 seemed to me too certain indications that I 
 should speedily be separated from what I held 
 dearest on earth. 
 
 I travelled day and night in silence, lifting 
 up my heart to God in earnest sighs for her 
 restoration, but intreating that if it was his 
 sovereign pleasure to deprive me of a blessing 
 which I had forfeited by idolizing it, my stub- 
 born heart might be bowed to meek submis- 
 sion to a father's will ; but yet I feared it was 
 almost impossible that I could survive the 
 heart rending stroke. 
 
 On arriving in the neighbourhood, I enquired 
 of the first man I met, the way to the mansion 
 of Calanus ; who expressed much pleasure in 
 
155 
 
 the hope of being permitted to accompany me 
 thither — raying " that man who was once the 
 terror, yet contempt of the country around us 
 for his oppression and covetousness, is now 
 the most esteemed and beloved of all men, for 
 the extent of his unostentatious charities, the 
 father of the poor, the friend of man.'* 
 
 But how came this wondrous change of 
 character ? What has transformed him from 
 a miser to a liberal man ? — 
 
 "I will inform you Sir," said he "by relating 
 my own obligation to this wondrous man. I 
 had formerly known him, and worked in his 
 fields, but such was his oppressive tyranny, 
 that I could bear his yoke no longer, but left 
 him, and removed to some distance, and sought 
 an employment else where. 
 
 I had(lostjightj)f) him for some time, and 
 was totally unacquainted with the change 
 which had taken place in him. I heard that he 
 had losUusslghfc, and was since more furious 
 and raging than ever, 
 
 " Some time since I was visited with a vio- 
 lent fever, which soon spread through my 
 family, so that my wife and children as myself 
 
156 
 
 were in great extremity and in want of com- 
 mon necessaries ; we were also deserted by 
 our neighbours, from an apprehension they 
 had entertained of the fever being infectious. 
 " Judge then my surprise, when one morn- 
 ing Calanus, the blessed Calanus, came into 
 my cottage, leaning on the arm of a domestic, 
 in possession of his sight, and with a counte- 
 nance full of tenderness, enquired into our 
 situation, sent his servant home for such re- 
 freshments as we needed, and also entered into 
 conversation with me and my wife, and taught 
 us what we. were before totally ignorant of, 
 that there(was)one God who (was) holy and 
 just, and that we as sinners against him, 
 deserved his vengeance ; but such was his pity 
 and love to the wretched and lost, that he had 
 sent his son Jesus Christ to save sinners 
 by his death ; that this blessed Saviour had 
 restored his sight and saved his soul, and that 
 the influence of his love had rendered him 
 desirous both to adminster to the temporal 
 necessities of his afflicted neighbours, and to 
 direct them to that Redeemer who alone could 
 make their souls both holy and happy for ever. 
 
157 
 
 At first his words seemed very strange to us, 
 and though we were glad to receive his tem- 
 poral favours, we w T ould very willingly have 
 dispensed with his conversation, but as he 
 frequently repeated his visits, it pleased God 
 at length to open our hearts to receive the 
 truth, and as his instrument, we owe both our 
 lives and our souls to the kindness of Calanus." 
 
 During this interesting conversation, we 
 arrived within sight of the mansion, when I 
 parted with my guide, and walked on to the 
 gate of the court, where I saw Calanus seated 
 under the fig tree reading. 
 
 I entered, and approached him with a low 
 obeisance, when, looking earnestly on me, 
 he said, " My heart tells me there is some- 
 thing in that countenance not totally unknown 
 to me, connected with very distant and affect- 
 ing ideas, and yet I cannot say when or 
 where I have seen you." 
 
 " Where Sir," I replied, " we were both 
 very different characters from what renewing 
 grace has since made us. Where I was a 
 proud Pharisee, and you were a blind and 
 stupid idolater." 
 
158 
 
 Awaking as from a dream, he rose hastily, 
 and threw himself on my neck, crying out, 
 " O, my son ! my Eleazar ! I rejoice to be- 
 hold thy face before I die; but where — O 
 where is my Nirza V* 
 
 " She is not far oft^ my dear father," I 
 replied again, " but I am truly sorry to in- 
 form you that she was taken ill at Ebri, where 
 she now lies in a state of pain and weakness, 
 desiring to see her father, but unable to pro- 
 ceed further on her journey to you." 
 
 " Then, my beloved son, we will go with 
 all the speed my age permits to see my dear, 
 my long-lost daughter. Come in and refresh 
 yourself after your journey, and I will be 
 ready immediately to accompany you, Al- 
 mighty Saviour ! how dost thou blend joy and 
 sorrow — severity and kindness, in thy dis- 
 pensations toward thy pardoned ones ! Thou 
 forgivest their sins, but thou takest vengeance 
 on their inventions. I kiss thy rod, I adore 
 thy wisdom, and amidst the most painful 
 feelings, I rejoice in the prospect of a world 
 where perfect and unmixed delight shall be 
 enjoyed for ever." 
 
159 
 
 We were soon ready, and travelled as 
 speedily as possible to Ebri. On the road, 
 we related to each other many of the dealings 
 of God with our souls, and though our feel- 
 ings were strongly excited, both in Hie rela- 
 tion of past, and the thought of present cir- 
 cumstances, yet, when speaking of the love 
 of the dear Redeemer, our souls were some- 
 times raised above all earthly troubles, and 
 we felt the peace of God descending on our 
 spirits, and fortifying us against the painful 
 dread of approaching trials. 
 
 When we arrived, and enquired of the do- 
 mestics concerning the state of my beloved, 
 we were informed that no amendment had 
 taken place in her disorder, but she was 
 rather weaker than at my departure. I en- 
 deavoured to allay the eagerness of my father 
 to see her till I had first gone in to prepare 
 her feeble spirits to sustain the affecting in- 
 terview. I directed her maid to inform her 
 that I was returned, and not to mention who 
 accompanied me, but to tell her I would wait 
 on her in a few minutes. 
 
 When I entered, I was struck with the 
 
160 
 
 sight of her altered countenance ; she was 
 sitting up on her bed supported by pillows, 
 with an hectic flush on her cheek, which, at 
 my appearance, was succeeded by a death- 
 like paleness, but the expression manifested 
 in her eyes was unutterable. 
 
 " You must lose me for a while, most dear 
 and amiable of men ; my heavenly lover calls 
 me to his own embrace, but be not distressed, 
 we shall meet again to enjoy sweeter com- 
 munion with him and with each other, in a 
 world where we shall never suffer nor fear sepa- 
 ration from each other to eternity. Blessed 
 be his dear name who has washed us in his 
 blood, that he has permitted us this last 
 interview below. Could my father come and 
 behold his happy daughter, it would be all I 
 wish till 1 see my Saviour's face." 
 
 Seeing her in this frame, I answered, " he 
 is come, my dearest, and waits to see you as 
 soon as you can support so tender a scene." 
 
 " Let him come immediately ; I feel my 
 time here is very short, more so than my 
 Eleazar imagines ; but the Holy Spirit's wit- 
 ness, the love of Christ felt in the heart, the 
 
161 
 
 foretastes of the happiness awaiting an un- 
 worthy sinner, the approach of death dis- 
 armed and smiling, all conspire to render me 
 superior to the pangs of parting ; and I trust 
 I shall not be so much overcome by the feel- 
 ings of filial tenderness, as not to enjoy a 
 sight so much desired." 
 
 I went out, and led in her father ; he ap- 
 proached her with tenderness, but could only 
 articulate " Nirza !" His feelings choaked his 
 voice. " Father, cried my dying saint, 
 reaching out her feeble arms to embrace him, 
 " we have been long separated on earth, but, 
 united to Jesus, we shall enjoy everlasting 
 communion in glory ; and though we must 
 now, as soon as blest with each other's com- 
 pany again, endure a fresh separation, it 
 will be shorter than our former one, and this 
 is our comfort, it is the last." 
 
 Recovering his speech, as he fondly bent 
 over her, and gently clasped her to his aged 
 bosom, he said, " After all the sovereign mercy 
 bestowed on us, the vilest of the vile, shall we 
 venture to repine at any part of the conduct 
 of a covenant God ? No, his will be done, 
 
162 
 
 however it rend our hearts with anguish : thy 
 father and thy spouse must resign thee ; 
 enough that we are following in the same 
 road, and we shall soon rejoin thee." 
 
 " O my beloved companion !" said 1, 
 •I how can I part with so profitable a partner ? 
 how lonesome will my path be the little re- 
 mainder of my pilgrimage : what' shall I do ?" 
 
 " When you gave up your all to Christ did 
 you except your wife ? are we not both his 
 property ? O ! if you would render my last 
 moments still happier, let me hear you say 
 * the will of the Lord be done.' My father 
 has resigned me." 
 
 " I dare not controvert his will ; I must 
 submit ! Lord help me to acquiesce ! the Lord 
 Jesus receive thy departing spirit !" 
 
 " 'Tis done," said the expiring angel, " all 
 is well ; — one parting embrace— I am gone." 
 
 Then, after embracing us both, she lay 
 back in the bed in expressive silence, till at 
 length she broke it in these words : — 
 
 " The object of eternal love ! a gift of the 
 Father to the Son ! redeemed by blood ! called 
 by grace ! justified by faith ! sanctified by the 
 
163 
 
 Holy Spirit ! matured for the blessed inhe- 
 ritance ! I hear his chariot wheels coming to 
 fetch me ! — I come, my Lord, I come !" 
 
 A gentle sigh released her happy soul, and 
 left us wrapt in sorrow, gazing on the breath- 
 less clay. 
 
 Here I must pause ; the recollection affects 
 me so much at this distance of time : I must 
 take another day to resume the history. 
 
ELEAZAR 
 
 ^i^ 
 
 The venerable old man the next day re- 
 sumed his narration : — 
 
 " After the departure of my wife, supported 
 by the recollections of the sweet and consola- 
 tory expressions which dropped from her 
 dying lips, and/ the joyful hope of soon meet- 
 ing her in a better world, the painful stroke 
 was alleviated to a degree beyond what I 
 could have conceived possible, both to myself 
 and her father ; we felt keenly the loss we 
 had sustained, but we were enabled to bless 
 a taking God. 
 
165 
 
 Ever since the promise of the land of 
 Canaan for an inheritance had been given to 
 Abraham, and more especially after he had 
 purchased the field and cave of Machpelah for a 
 family burying place, you well know my friends 
 that our fathers were strongly desirous of de- 
 positing their mortal remains in the promised 
 land, taking thus a kind of possession on be- 
 half of their posterity, who were to inherit the 
 promise in the faith of which they died, and 
 when their God had delivered Israel from 
 Egypt, and led them through the wilderness 
 to the enjoyment of the promised possession, 
 they there buried the remains of Joseph which 
 they had embalmed and brought with them, 
 and through all succeeding ages, every 
 Israelite was desirous to be buried in the hal- 
 lowed ground. 
 
 But the spiritual kingdom of the Messiah, 
 having now succeded to that earthly kingdom 
 which was only a shadow of it, the same prin- 
 ciple which had so influenced the saints, as to 
 induce many of them to sell their inheritance 
 and devote the produce to the relief of the 
 poor, led me as my spouse had departed at so 
 
166 
 
 great a distance from our native country, to 
 inter her dear remains near the spot whence 
 her happy spirit had ascended to her Redeemer, 
 after which, as duty directed me to return to 
 my children, I took a tender and weeping leave 
 of my father-in-law, and travelled home- 
 ward. 
 
 I pass over the incidents of my journey, 
 and the affecting interview with my motherless 
 children on my return, to notice the concerns 
 of the church. 
 
 During my absence, several important 
 events had occured, among which was the tre- 
 mendous death of Herod, in the plenitude of 
 his power ; having concluded an advantageous 
 peace with the Tyrians and Zidonians, he was 
 desirous of receiving the congratulations of 
 their ambassadors in public, and displaying 
 both the magnificence of his court, and the 
 power of his oratory. But when he had con* 
 eluded his pompous harangue, the people 
 shouted, " It is the voice of a God, and not of 
 a man ! "A moment only had he to enjoy the 
 flattery of the multitude, ere smitten with an 
 incurable stroke by the invisible hand of an 
 
16; 
 
 angel, he fell from his throne with ajt horrid 
 yell, and was carried off by his terrified attend- 
 ant, and laid on his bed, where he lay a monu- 
 ment of divine vengeance, in unutterable 
 agonies, while a multitude of worms, devour- 
 ing his- putrid carcase, and crawling from his 
 eyes, his mouth, and ears, rendered him a/i 
 (horricl) spectacle for the sight, and the intolera- 
 ble stench he exhaled made, it impossible for 
 his dearest connections to approach him, till 
 uttering the most dreadful blasphemies he ex* 
 pired. 
 
 Though the christians were not devoid of 
 pity to their most inveterate foes, yet on an 
 event in which the hand of God was so emi- 
 nently seen in their deliverance from his per- 
 secuting rage, the death of Herod led them to 
 meet together to acknowledge the divine inter- 
 position on their behalf, and to intreat wisdom 
 and energy to enable them to improve the 
 temporary ease they enjoyed, by more aetive 
 labours to extend the boundaries of the king- 
 dom. Missionaries went forth in every 
 direction and the word of the Lord mightly 
 prevailed. 
 
168 
 
 Though after the death of the tyrant, the 
 raging persecution which he had instigated 
 much abated, yet there were still many ways 
 practised of harrassing the disciples, many of 
 whom supported themselves and families by 
 the produce of their manual labour ; these, when 
 at any time they were destitute of employ- 
 ment were pressed with severe distress, and as 
 every kind of artifice was resorted to by the 
 Jews, to deprive the followers of Jesus of 
 their means of subsistence, there were many 
 of them whose cases attracted the notice of 
 the church, among which was that of Jonadab 
 at Nazareth, who was dependent for the em- 
 ployment of himself and family, on a man to- 
 tally averse to the profession of Christianity, 
 and who basely took the opportunity of an 
 epidemical disease having attacked his wife 
 and several of his children to injure him the 
 more deeply by withdrawing the whole of his 
 employ. 
 
 At a meeting of the apostles and elders, 
 Prochorus the deacon took the opportunity of 
 mentioning the distress Jonadab and his 
 family were in, and stirring them up to a con- 
 
169 
 
 tribution for their present relief, and to adopt 
 some measures for procuring him employment 
 in future 
 
 The readiness with which this was acceded 
 to, encouraged Prochorus further to observe 
 that as cases of this kind were already not 
 unfrequent, and were liable to increase, it 
 would be adviseable to institute a fund for 
 future benevolence in similar cases, but how 
 was this to be accomplished among those 
 who were generally so poor in the world as 
 the followers of Jesus ? Economy and fru- 
 gality alone could supply the means of benevo- 
 lence. " My carriage and horses" said Minu, a 
 christian, who had been called from an higher 
 circle of society than his brethren, shall go 
 for this purpose, and I will walk as Jesus did. 
 " I will do the work of the house myself" said 
 Sadoc, "and the expence of a servant shall be 
 applied to the fund." 
 
 " These jewels" said a young female, " were 
 presents from my grandmother, but had she 
 been living, I am sure she would have approved 
 my conduct in thus devoting them." 
 
 "Mother" said another, "I imagined I wanted 
 I 
 
170 
 
 new garments, and you had promised to buy 
 me some, but I relinquish the promise, I will 
 wear the old ones, and let the money be given 
 to those poor sufferers." 
 
 " I will work " said a brother " two hours ex- 
 traordinary every day, and devote these earn- 
 ings to this purpose." Many others adopted 
 different economical expedients to increase the 
 fund, and thus this work of christian charity 
 was completed. 
 
 For a long period after this, my attention 
 and concern were engaged much in my do- 
 mestic connexions. My wife had left me with 
 three children, two sons and a daughter ; the 
 latter was the counterpart of her mother in 
 piety and temper : in her I had much comfort 
 while she remained with me, but a connexion 
 being formed betwixt her and a zealous young 
 missionary, I could not, as I discerned much 
 of a missionary spirit in her, but consent to 
 their union, though the consequence of it, was 
 to deprive me of all hopes of ever seeing her 
 more in the present state, for soon after their 
 marriage, they departed for Ethiopia to assist 
 the Eunuch, who had written to Phillip to 
 
171 
 
 solicit the aid of some pious missionary in 
 propagating the faith of Jesus amongst his 
 countrymen. 
 
 It is but seldom that I can hear from them, 
 nor in the present state of our country, can 
 I expect intelligence to reach me ; what I have 
 already heard satisfies me that both my 
 daughter and her partner are blessed with 
 extensive usefulness, and that though I expect 
 no more to behold them on earth, yet when I 
 meet them in glory, I trust they will be ac- 
 companied with a numerous train of souls 
 called by their instrumentality, out of darkness 
 into the glorious light of the gospel of Christ. 
 
 My son Cephas, whom I had so named from 
 his birth, from a respect to that dear apostle 
 who was my father in Christ, was a comfort 
 to me ; he had always been a dutiful and obe- 
 dient child, and his morals were correct, his 
 temper placid, his affection to me ardent, but 
 I discerned no decided proofs of the converting 
 grace of God having taken possession of his 
 heart, till after the death of his mother whom 
 he tenderly loved, at so great distance from 
 him, the relation of her happy exit not only 
 i 2 
 
172 
 
 excited in his heart the wish of Balaam, " Let 
 me die the death of the righteous," but also 
 influenced him to intreat of the ascended 
 Saviour a present conformity to their character, 
 a restoration to the divine favour in and through 
 the righteousness of the Redeemer, and to the 
 divine image by the work of the Almighty 
 Spirit; and the Lord Jesus graciously conde- 
 scended to answer his request ; for from 
 that period, never did I behold in a young per- 
 son, and seldom in an aged experienced chris - 
 tian, more steadiness and consistency of cha- 
 racter, more just views of divine truth, nor a 
 higher degree of devotedness to God, than in 
 him. 
 
 But he too is gone before me, he fell by the 
 hand of an assassin, a martyr to his attach- 
 ment to the Saviour ! 
 
 But one son remained, and he was the 
 greatest trial that I ever experienced ; obsti- 
 nate, perverse, rebellious to the last degree. 
 Nothing appeared to affect his heart, the death 
 of his mother, and that of Cephas, did not cost 
 him a sigh or a tear, parental authority he 
 despised, religion he ridiculed, and he left his 
 
173 
 
 paternal home, to be freed from all restraint, 
 and to be at a distance from my remonstrances 
 and reproofs; joined with a set of abandoned 
 characters, he united in all their excesses, and 
 indulged every criminal passion without re- 
 morse, till his licentious life had reduced him 
 to want and disease, and he ventured to return 
 in a miserable situation to die. 
 
 Happy should I have been could I have seen 
 him returning a sinner penitent, but, alas ! 
 though 1 received him with equal tenderness, I 
 could not welcome him with the joy of the father 
 in our Lord's affecting parable. My prayers, 
 my tears, my repeated representations to him of 
 the Saviour's boundless grace to the chief of sin- 
 ners, did not appear suitably to affect and in* 
 terest his mind ; true he did not as formerly 
 oppose and contradict me, but he maintained 
 a constant and as I feared a sullen silence, 
 though his bodily disease increased and threat- 
 ned a speedy dissolution approaching. I 
 mourned before God on his account; I lamented 
 every instance I could recollect, wherein I had 
 not acted with sufficient firmness and prudence 
 towards him ; I repeatedly committed him to 
 
, 174 
 
 a covenant God ; I earnestly implored that 1 
 might yet see some token for good concerning 
 him, but, alas ! though towards the last he did 
 assent to the justice of his sufferings, he de- 
 parted without my being able to indulge a 
 hope that he was brought to Jesus, and I felt 
 at his death what David did when he lamented 
 over Absalom." 
 
 After a long pause accompanied with tears 
 and sobs, Eleazar proceeded with his nar- 
 rative. 
 
 " Insulated as I now was respecting all 
 worldly connections, I sold my estate, and be- 
 stowing the principle part of the produce on 
 the poor of Christ's flock, I reserved a little 
 for my necessary support, and devoted the 
 whole of my time to visiting the sick, instruct- 
 ing the ignorant, and comforting those who 
 were exercised with trials and temptations, 
 waiting till my Lord shall be pleased to call 
 me to rejoin my departed friends in the world 
 of the spirits of the just made perfect. Thus 
 I continued employed, and under all my sor- 
 rows was favoured abundantly with the graci- 
 ous presence of our ascended Lord, and the rich 
 
175 
 
 foretastes of future glory lie was pleased to 
 indulge me with, often raised me above all my 
 troubles, and enabled me to glory in tribula- 
 tion. 
 
 But when the Roman armies, according to 
 our Lord's prediction, approached towards 
 Jerusalem, as my flight was unincumbered, 1 
 soon sought and found with you my dear 
 christian friends a safe retreat in this retired 
 Pella, this little Zoar. 
 
 Having finished my story, permit me to re- 
 mark, that the words of the Lord Jesus will 
 be fulfilled, obstinately as Jerusalem is de- 
 fended, it will fall. Our deluded countrymen 
 have filled up the measure of their iniquity in 
 rejecting the word of life preached by the 
 apostles of the ascended Redeemer, where- 
 fore wrath is come upon them to the uttermost, 
 but the church of Christ is safe, it will extend 
 widely among the Gentiles, and increase 
 amidst opposition and persecution ; but when 
 ease and plenty are enjoyed, and the great 
 men of the earth profess Christianity while 
 strangers to its influence, the purity of its 
 doctrines will be corrupted, its worship pol- 
 
176 
 
 luted with the addition of human inventions, 
 and such a secular kingdom erected, as the 
 Pharisees expected Messiah to introduce. 
 
 But a remnant shall remain to bear witness 
 to the truth; they shall endure longer and 
 more violent persecutions from the perverters 
 of the Gospel than they had suffered from Jews 
 or Heathens, till at length this opposing power 
 shall be consumed by the breath of the Mes- 
 siah's mouth, and destroyed by the brightness 
 of his coming ; then shall the veil be removed 
 from the hearts of the remnant of Israel, and 
 all the nations shall bow to the Sceptre of our 
 glorified Lord." 
 
 FINIS 
 
THE BACKSLIDER. 
 
 (A TRUE NARRATIVE.) 
 
 In a congregation in the north of England 
 there were twelve serious young men, who 
 weekly met together for prayer, reading the 
 Scriptures, and conversing on the concerns of 
 eternity. 
 
 Among them was one youth, who not only 
 possessed a great superiority of talent beyond 
 his companions, but also appeared to surpass 
 them all in the ardour of his zeal, and the 
 piety of his general deportment. Often did 
 they all admire the apparent deep humility and 
 astonishing propriety of his expressions when 
 13 
 
he was addressing the God of grace as their 
 mouth ; and while they all felt and lamented 
 the hardness of their hearts, their backward* 
 ness to duty, and the difficulties they expe- 
 rienced in approaching the throne of grace, 
 and saw him constantly pouring out his soul 
 to God with the reverence and freedom of a 
 child, they were often struck with painful 
 doubts of the reality of their own religion, 
 and each one earnestly wished he was like 
 Erford. 
 
 These feelings, by leading them to more 
 careful self-examination, might have proved 
 useful to themselves without injury to the 
 object of their admiration, had they carefully 
 concealed them from him, but alas ! they were 
 too ready to express them. They discovered 
 so high an opinion of him, that he began to 
 have an high opinion of himself, and from 
 thence commenced an awful series of trans- 
 gressions. 
 
 In proportion as spiritual pride took pos- 
 session of his heart, he began to attend more 
 to the culture of his talents, than to the spi- 
 rituality of his affections, and soon to look 
 
179 
 
 down on his associates as far below him, and 
 consider it as a great condescension on his 
 part to converse with them on terms of 
 equality. 
 
 By degrees he began to frame slight ex- 
 cuses for occasionally absenting himself from 
 their social meetings ; mingled with men of 
 talent and literature, who were enemies to 
 Christianity, and began to take pleasure in 
 their conversations, undervaluing the faithful 
 ministers of Christ for their plainness of 
 speech, and their disregard of ornament in 
 their discourses, and soon beginning to neg- 
 lect a constant attendance on the public wor- 
 ship of the Sabbath. 
 
 His evenings, which had been previously 
 spent at home in reading to, and conversing 
 with his pious mother, he now devoted to the 
 pursuit of dissipating amusements, though for 
 awhile he sought to conceal his conduct from 
 his religious friends, but it could not be long 
 concealed ; from listening to, and regarding 
 with pleasure, the prophane and licentious 
 conversation of his companions, he at length 
 began to imitate it, and having once loosed 
 
180 
 
 the bridle from his tongue, could soon utter 
 without a blush, the grossest ribaldry — the 
 most daring falsehood — the most blasphe- 
 mous oath — the most tremendous curse. 
 
 The ordinances of God being totally de- 
 serted, his sabbaths were spent in the tavern 
 or the brothel, and he herded with the most 
 abject and profligate of mankind. 
 
 His young friends lamented the dreadful 
 change that had taken place, but he now ab- 
 sented himself so completely from their com- 
 pany, and from his mother's house, that 
 they had no opportunity to reason with 
 him ; all they could do was to pray for him, 
 which they did with much concern and 
 affection for a long season ; but at length, 
 on continually hearing fresh accounts of 
 his enormities, they, in general gave him 
 up as an hypocrite and apostate, and ceased 
 to petition the throne of grace for his re- 
 covery. 
 
 One of them, however, was an exception ; 
 dreadfully as Erford had fallen, and aban- 
 doned as his present conduct was, this friend, 
 recollecting the past fervency of his prayers, 
 
181 
 
 and the clear views he had received of 
 evangelical truth, with the influence those 
 truths appeared to have over the whole of 
 his conversation for a long season, could 
 not give up the belief that he had received the 
 grace of God in truth, and therefore still en- 
 tertained the hope that the wretched back- 
 slider would be restored, nor ever neglected, 
 for succeeding years, to pray daily for the 
 return of the fugflfre. 
 
 Meantime the wretched wanderer was sel- 
 dom heard of but as intoxicated, quarrelling 
 and fighting at the neighbouring fairs and 
 revels. 
 
 At length, in a state of inebriety, he en- 
 listed into a regiment under orders for speedy 
 embarkation for the East Indies. 
 
 Just before his departure, he came to take 
 leave of his distressed mother, and appeared 
 totally regardless of her tears and lamenta- 
 tions, and it was with great difficulty she pre- 
 vailed on him to take a pocket bible in his 
 havresack. 
 
 Hardened and remorseless, he left his na- 
 tive shores, and during the voyage contracted 
 
182 
 
 an intimacy with some of his comrades who 
 avowed infidel principles, which he endea- 
 voured to embrace, as a last resource against 
 any serious reflections which might intrude, 
 into his mind, and render him uneasy. Ar- 
 rived at the continent of India, the regiment 
 was soon called into actual service, as it was 
 soon after the commencement of the war with 
 Hyder Ally. 
 
 Notwithstanding the harcjjhips he endured, 
 and the dangers he was 'exposed to in the 
 field, he continued for a long time in the same 
 dreadful state of mind, till one memorable 
 night, when the hostile armies were encamped 
 at no great distance from each other, he was sta- 
 tioned as an out sentinel alone, in a cloudynight, 
 by the side of a deep jungle, with probably not 
 a praying soul within a thousand miles of the 
 spot, when suddenly his mind was irresistibly 
 impressed with the words of the prophet Je- 
 remiah, which fell on him like a thunderbolt : 
 — " Hast thou not procured this unto thyself, 
 in that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God 
 when he led thee by the way ? and now what 
 hast thou to do with Egypt, to drink the 
 
183 
 
 waters of Sihor ? or what hast thou to do with 
 Assyria to drink the waters of the river ? thine 
 own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy 
 backslidings shall reprove thee. Know, 
 therefore, and see that it is an evil thing and 
 bitter, that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy 
 God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the 
 Lord of hosts." 
 
 Filled with inexpressible horror, and seized 
 with an universal tremor through his frame, 
 he dropped his musket and fell to the ground, 
 where he lay trembling under a deep sense 
 of his accumulated guilt, and with nothing 
 before his view but a fearful looking-for of 
 judgment; yet not all the terrors of that 
 eternity of misery he saw before him and 
 felt he had deserved, struck him with such 
 bitter anguish as the sense of his vile ingra- 
 titude to that compassionate Redeemer, the 
 infinite glories of whose divine character, and 
 the unparalleled condescension of whose love 
 to lost sinners, he now beheld in the most 
 striking light, and though he considered 
 himself as having, by a vile apostacy, for ever 
 excluded himself from all hope of mercy, yet 
 
184 
 
 he felt it impossible to regard the Saviour 
 without feelings of the highest admiration. 
 
 Scarcely was he able to rise and resume his 
 arms in time to be relieved from his post, im- 
 mediately after which he retired to a soli- 
 tary spot near the camp, where he gave a 
 loose to sorrow. 
 
 Several succeeding days and nights were 
 spent in this miserable situation ; his long- 
 neglected bible was now his only companion ; 
 for some time he durst not pray, but at length 
 encouraged by that gracious word, " Though 
 thou hast played the harlot with many lovers, 
 yet now return again unto me saith the Lord," 
 he ventured to pour out his soul at the 
 Saviour's feet, in humble hope of pardoning 
 mercy, though still mixed with many fears. 
 Now the grief he had occasioned to his mo- 
 ther, and his young companions in religious 
 exercises, fell with peculiar weight on his 
 mind, and he felt the w T ant of society like 
 theirs, nor was there a single individual within 
 his reach who could participate in the least 
 degree the feelings of his mind, or afford him 
 any relief or consolation . 
 
185 
 
 When engaged in his miliary duties he was 
 obedient and silent, his comrades remarked 
 at length a difference in his manner and con- 
 duct, though what it was, and whence it ori- 
 ginated they were totally ignorant. When 
 released from duty he was always alone, 
 with no companion but the bible, and at 
 length he found its precious promises the sup- 
 port of his soul, and began to rely on the obe- 
 dience and sacrifice of the Saviour, with some 
 degree of humble confidence. 
 
 Now enjoying somewhat of the consoling 
 influence of a Saviour's love, though mingled 
 with so many painful regrets, he felt the 
 power of that love inspiring his breast with 
 the most tender sentiments of piety to his fel- 
 low-sinners, and leading him to embrace 
 every proper opportunity of conversing with 
 them on the important concerns of their 
 souls. 
 
 The impressive hints he frequently dropt 
 on this subject to his fellow soldiers, com- 
 ing so unexpected from a person, who though 
 now his conduct was irreproachable, had been 
 
186 
 
 so lately a ringleader in vice, struck them 
 with astonishment, and in several instances 
 was evidently accompanied with the influences 
 of the Divine Spirit, so that in a little time 
 he had a society of companions in the hea- 
 venly road, among whom he was loved and 
 esteemed, and to whom his former falls 
 were made the means of rendering the cau- 
 tions which the remembrance of them led 
 him to give his new associates more impres- 
 sion on their minds, and more conducive to 
 their stedfastness. 
 
 But it is time to return to England, where 
 all his former friends had long supposed him 
 dead. That one solitary youth, who had so 
 long continued to pray for him, still continued 
 his supplications on behalf of the poor back- 
 slider if yet alive. Himself had left his 
 former place and business, and after a course 
 of studies at the late Countess of Hunting- 
 don's college at Trevecca, was preaching in 
 that connexion, when one evening, going to 
 preach at a village in the west, he found his 
 mind diverted from the subject on which he 
 
187 
 
 intended to address the people, and power- 
 fully attracted to the consideration of Jere- 
 miah ii. 17, &c. already quoted. 
 
 Just before he had began his discourse he 
 observed a pale, thin, and apparently declin- 
 ing young man, enter the place, and take a 
 seat in an obscure corner under the gallery, 
 and as he passed, he thought the features, 
 though altered by fatigue and disease, were 
 not totally unknown to him, yet he could not 
 recollect when or where he had seen him. 
 
 During the sermon he observed the stran- 
 ger much affected, and at the close of the 
 worship, when he descended from the pulpit, 
 he was much surprised when he advanced to- 
 wards him, and discovered features long en- 
 deared to his remembrance. " Surely," said 
 he, " it is not, cannot be." " Erford," in- 
 terrupted the stranger, " the vile apostate ; 
 yet O amazing grace! the wonderfully re- 
 stored Erford greets you on his return, and 
 intreats you to inform him if his poor mother 
 still lives — and what of those pious youths 
 I so basely deserted." " She lives," re- 
 turned the preacher, " and notwithstanding 
 
188 
 
 all our companions have long given you up 
 as dead, and they feared lost, your mother 
 and I have never ceased praying for the 
 happy event I now witness." " Then," 
 said he, " I will hasten to morrow to fall 
 down at her feet, and intreat her forgiveness ; 
 but O my dear friend, when I entered this 
 place, and heard your well-recollected voice 
 read the very passage by the impression of 
 which on my memory and my heart in the 
 Indies, the Divine Spirit effected my return 
 to the Saviour from whom I had so basely 
 revolted, my feelings almost totally over- 
 powered me, and I could scarcely retain life 
 to listen to your just observations on the 
 text ; but though I trust Immanuel has gra- 
 ciously pardoned my sins, he has taken just, 
 yet merciful vengeance on my inventions, 
 for my profligate life in an eastern climate 
 has undermined my once healthy constitu- 
 tion, and I feel so debilitated that I cannot 
 long survive; yet I trust, though we shall 
 soon be separated again by my death, I 
 shall meet you in the world of eternal purity 
 and bliss. How merciful a dispensation 
 
189 
 
 has my sickness been, since it procured my 
 discharge and return to England, to afford 
 you a proof of the Redeemer's ability to save 
 to the uttermost a vile, rebellious, and un- 
 grateful backslider. 
 
 The two friends spent the evening together, 
 and the next day travelled in company to 
 their native place. The interview of Erford 
 with his mother, my feeble powers of descrip- 
 tion cannot paint, nor the joy with which his 
 former associates received him. He lived 
 not long, but a sufficient time to evidence 
 fully that he was the subject of restoring 
 grace, and his exit was tranquil and serene. 
 
 This narration was related to the writer by 
 his friend, the preacher, who has since re- 
 joined him in heaven. 
 
 Glory to God, 
 
 Amen. 
 
 THE END. 
 
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