THE 
 
 PROBLEM OF LIFE, 
 
 OR 
 
 RELIGION AND SOCIETY 
 IN GERMANY. 
 
 33 Y 
 
 HENRY W. CARSTENS, 
 
 BOSTON AND CAMBRIDGE: 
 JAMES MUNROE AND COMPANY. 
 1 8 5 8. 
 
Entered according to the act of Congress, in the year 1858, 
 
 Br Henry W. Carstens, 
 In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 
 
 HENRY J. HOWLAND, PRINTER, WORCESTER. 
 
THE PEOBLEM OF LIFE. 
 
 CHAPTER, I. 
 
 GENERAL REMARKS ON RELIGION. 
 
 Among the many treasures which the German 
 literature offers to us, there is one which has always 
 been particularly attractive to me — a drama, called 
 Nathan the Sage, written by the celebrated Lessing. 
 The principal characters in this piece are three good 
 men ; Sultan Saladin, a Mohammedan, Nathan, a Jew, 
 and a young Temple-Knight, a Christian. 
 
 Lessing not only reminds us by the whole piece in 
 general, of the fact that there are good men to be 
 found among the adherents of all the different creeds ; 
 he also gives us his opinion about these creeds them- 
 selves, and their relative value. The 3d act contains 
 a dialogue between Saladin and Nathan, where the 
 former asks the latter which religion he thinks is 
 the best? Nathan answers the question by the fol- 
 lowing story. 
 
 Many centuries ago, there lived in the East a man 
 who possessed a ring of an inestimable value. It 
 
4 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 was adorned with a precious stone, which glittered 
 with a hundred beautiful colors, and had the hidden 
 power of making acceptable before God and man 
 whoever wore it, with the belief that it would do so. 
 No wonder, therefore, that the man never left it off 
 his finger, and that he made arrangements which 
 would be likely to keep it forever in his family. He 
 left the ring to the most beloved of his sons, and 
 ordained that this son, in his turn, should bequeath 
 it to the one he liked best among his sons, and thus 
 in succession, the most beloved always should become 
 the chief, the head of the family, alone by virtue of 
 the ring. 
 
 Thus the ring devolved, from son to son, at last 
 on one who was father of three sons, all of whom 
 were equally obedient to him, and whom he, there- 
 fore, could not help loving equally. Yet from time 
 to time, now the one, then the other, and then the 
 third, seemed to him to be most worthy of the ring, 
 just as each was alone with him, and as the other two 
 did not share in the overflowings of his heart. He had 
 the tender weakness to promise the ring to each of 
 them. 
 
 This would do as long as things went their even 
 course ; but the time of death arrived, and the father 
 was placed in a great dilemma. It would have 
 grieved him to disappoint two of his sons who de- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 5 
 
 pended upon his word. What was he to do? He 
 secretly sends for an artist, and orders, after the pat- 
 tern of his ring, two other ones, and desires that 
 neither expense nor pains should he spared to make 
 them perfectly like the former. The artist succeeds. 
 As he hrings them, the father himself cannot distin- 
 guish the original ring. Full of joy he calls his 
 sons, each separately ; he gives to each separately 
 his "blessing and his ring, and — dies. 
 
 Hardly has the father died, when each son comes 
 with his ring, and desires to be the chief of the fam- 
 ily. They make inquiries, they quarrel, they com- 
 plain of each other. All is in vain ; they cannot prove 
 which ring is the right one, as little as we now, which 
 faith is the right one. 
 
 The sons went to law, and each swore before the 
 judge that he had received his ring directly from his 
 father's hand — which was true — after having been 
 promised long ago, that he, one of these- days, should 
 enjoy the prerogative of the ring — which was no less 
 true ! Each one asserted that his father could not 
 have been faithless towards him, and rather than to 
 allow such a thing to be suspected of so dear a father, 
 he would be obliged to accuse his brothers of foul play, 
 however willing he otherwise might be to think the 
 best of them ; however, he would know how to unmask 
 the traitors, and how to take vengeance on them. 
 
6 
 
 THE PROBLEM OP LIFE, OR 
 
 The Judge said : " If you do not soon bring your 
 father before me, I shall send you away from my 
 tribunal. Do you think I am here to solve riddles ? 
 Or do you expect the right ring to speak? But stop! 
 I understand that the right ring possesses the mirac- 
 ulous power of making any one beloved, acceptable 
 before God and men. This must decide, for the false 
 rings will not be able to do that ! Now, whom is it 
 that two of you like best ? Make haste, tell me ! 
 What, you are silent ? Have the rings only an influ- 
 ence upon their owners, and not upon others ? Does 
 each of you love himself the most ? Oh, then you 
 are all three deceived deceivers ! Not one of the 
 three rings is genuine. The original ring probably 
 was lost. In order to conceal the loss, and to make 
 up for it, the father had three rings made instead of 
 one. And therefore," continued the Judge, " unless 
 you wish for my counsel instead of my verdict, I bid 
 you, be gone ! My advice, however, is this ; take the 
 affair exactly as it is. If each of you has received 
 his ring from his father, then let each one firmly be- 
 lieve that his ring is the genuine one. It is possible 
 that the father intended no longer to tolerate in his 
 family the tyranny of that one ring ! And I am 
 sure he loved you all three, loved you equally, and 
 did not wish to oppress two of you for the sake of 
 favoring one." 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 7 
 
 " Well then, let each of you strive for being loved, 
 unbiased, free of all prejudice ! Let each one rival 
 with the others in endeavoring to bring to light the 
 power of the stone in his ring ; let him aid this pow- 
 er by meekness, by heart-felt tolerance, by charity, 
 by a confiding reliance upon his God. And if the 
 power of the stones should become apparent among 
 the children of your children's children, then I will 
 summon them again before my chair, thousands of 
 thousand years hence. Then a man, wiser than I, 
 will sit on this chair, and will pronounce judgment. 
 Go now I" Thus spoke the modest judge. 
 
 This story, necessarily, must lose a great deal of 
 its beauty by being translated into another language, 
 by being deprived of its poetical form, and severed 
 from the remainder of the drama. Those of my 
 readers who have seen it, or can enjoy it in the origi- 
 nal, will be likely to compare my version of it to a 
 diamond, which has lost a great deal of its splendor 
 by having its polished surface tarnished and broken, 
 and by being taken out of a diadem whose principal 
 ornament it was. Still, I doubt not the story, even 
 thus, appears to the reader exceedingly beautiful. I 
 have read it repeatedly, and have always found new 
 attractions in it. 
 
 There is only one instance, it seems to me, where 
 the essence of religion is so clearly pointed out, and 
 
8 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LTFE, OR 
 
 so accurately defined, as in this story. I mean the 
 words of Christ : " Love the Lord thy God, with all 
 thy heart, with all thy soul, with all thy strength, 
 and with all thy mind : and thy neighbor as thyself." 
 These words are so sublime in their simplicity and 
 comprehensiveness, that we cannot conceive of any- 
 thing so impressive as they are to a mind fully im- 
 bued with the spirit of Christianity. But as we are 
 not all so easily moved by a few words, and as we 
 are all in need of having our feelings awakened and 
 developed by human and terrestial affairs, events and 
 impressions, it is well for us at different times to 
 have the same truth conveyed to our minds in differ- 
 ent ways, and for this reason I like to consider Les- 
 sing's story, as a worthy illustration and corollary of 
 Christ's all-comprehending, simple words. Since the 
 contemplation of this story leads me most directly 
 to the object I have in view, I will give a few reasons 
 why I consider it so beautiful. 
 
 First, it expresses symbolically the idea, that no 
 human being knows or possesses truth in the abstract, 
 or, as we may call it, " the true religion." 
 
 I will not, here in the beginning, shock any one's 
 feelings by misleading him to think that I doubt 
 whether Christianity is the true religion. No, I be- 
 lieve that the essence of Christianity is true, but it 
 is doubtful to me whether there is any sect or de- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 g 
 
 nomination in existence, which has not added some- 
 thing human, perishable and erroneous, to the simple 
 christian truth. And even if we divest the latter of 
 all erroneous additions, even then we are not allowed 
 to think we possess truth in the abstract. Man, from 
 his very nature as a finite being, never can compre- 
 hend abstract, infinite truth. For instance, man can 
 never comprehend the essence of the Deity. There 
 may be many who believe they have the right idea 
 of God, who He is and what He is, but they substitute 
 a fancy, a semblance for the reality ; they have not 
 the power of thinking, free from the influence of im- 
 bibed and current impressions. 
 
 Any one who has learned to seek God, to seek God 
 himself, not through the medium of accepted creeds, 
 but in his own soul, and in the universe around him, 
 he truly finds God ; his belief in the existence of 
 the divine being is better founded, more ennobling, 
 more fructifying than the current belief, which is 
 merely transmitted from man to man. Still, the 
 more his mind is confirmed in the belief in God, and 
 the more his heart is filled with holy adoration of 
 God, the more he will be convinced of never being 
 able to comprehend the essence of the Deity, to com- 
 prehend that spirit which manifests itself in the uni- 
 verse and in man's soul, as infinite in power, wisdom 
 and love. 
 
10 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 Further, we cannot arrive at the abstract truth 
 concerning the universe. We never can comprehend 
 the infinitude of space. If space is a reality, meas- 
 urement must he a reality, and both, in fact, seem to 
 us to he real ; we cannot consider these ideas as mere 
 fancies, since our senses prove them to us as facts. 
 Still we cannot reconcile the ideas of space and infin- 
 itude, because we cannot fathom the idea of going 
 on measuring space without an end. What is there 
 beyond the remotest nebula which we discover through 
 the telescope, or which we imagine to see with our 
 mind's eye ? Empty space ? What is empty space ? 
 What is empty space without limits ? I am sure, no 
 human being ever will answer these questions. Space 
 and infinitude are two ideas which a human mind 
 cannot reconcile to each other. Still, the mind can- 
 not divest itself of either of these two ideas, and 
 must, therefore, acknowledge that there is something 
 which is beyond his comprehension. 
 
 The same is true in regard to infinitude of time. 
 Generation after generation, everybody talks of God 
 as an eternal being, of man's soul as an immortal 
 and eternal spirit — they speak of it, as of the sim- 
 plest thing, as if they understood all about it — and 
 still, as soon as one really investigates these ideas of 
 eternity and immortality, he will be obliged to con- 
 fess that he cannot fathom them. Time is an idea 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 11 
 
 of which we cannot divest ourselves, and yet, the 
 expression " infinite time " has no comprehensible 
 meaning in it. We cannot comprehend what it 
 means, " God never had a beginning." We cannot 
 comprehend that the world could have been created 
 out of nothing a definite number of years ago, and 
 that God should have existed before the world, alone 
 and from eternity. We cannot comprehend how the 
 divine spirit, or any spirit, should exist entirely dis- 
 connected from matter. 
 
 On the other hand, if we consider the material 
 world as co-existing with the Deity, and therefore as 
 eternal, we have no more a definite idea of a world 
 without a beginning, than of a Deity without a be- 
 ginning. And if we turn to the future, we find the 
 same difficulty. We may count ever so far by years 
 or by millions of years, we never come nearer the 
 end of time ; we cannot „find an end, and still we 
 cannot comprehend what it means, " there is no end." 
 Of the idea of time which is forced upon us by our 
 senses, we cannot rid ourselves, but we cannot recon- 
 cile the word " infinite" to it, and therefore no man 
 can ever comprehend the meaning of the word eter- 
 nity. 
 
 But we need not lose ourselves in the labyrinth of 
 these vast ideas, in order to be convinced that we 
 never can arrive at abstract truth. 
 
12 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 If we study geology, and try to investigate what 
 lias been the original shape and condition of the 
 earth ; how many and how long periods of develop- 
 ment this globe has gone through ; how the revolu- 
 tions it was subject to, were brought about, and how 
 they terminated ; what will be the next change the 
 earth will undergo ; what is the tendency and the 
 final destiny of this and of other planets, — if we inves- 
 tigate these and many other similar and connected 
 subjects, we shall get delightful glimpses, so to say, 
 into the workshop of the Almighty ; we shall be 
 filled with wonder and awe, and shall bow down in 
 adoration before the Creator ; but we shall have to 
 confess that we only try to follow his footprints, but 
 can never hope fully to trace whither he tends, and 
 what aim he will finally reach. 
 
 If we study mineralogy, we can notice and admire 
 the laws of crystallization and other similar objects, 
 but we never shall be able to find out why these 
 things are as they are, and what their essence is. 
 
 If we study botany, it will reveal to us the wonders 
 of vegetation ; we shall be enraptured by the beauty 
 and variety, and the many thousand combinations 
 of shape and color; we shall admire the wondrous 
 mode of propagation, the numerical, and, so to say, 
 artistic regularity upon which the classification de- 
 pends — all tliis . anH many other observations will 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 13 
 
 convince us that the Creator is a most powerful and 
 benevolent being, — but after all, we cannot really 
 comprehend much about it. We do not know whether 
 all those plants originated according to invariable 
 laws, or whether each species was created by an in- 
 dependent, momentary will and act of the Creator ; 
 we do not know why there is such a profusion of va- 
 riety and of beauty; what is the use and destination 
 of each species and of each individual plant. There 
 is evidently a higher purpose in them, than merely 
 to be " of use to man and beast," or even " to glad- 
 den man's heart." But this and many other things 
 concerning the vegetable kingdom, man never will 
 fully comprehend. 
 
 The same remark is applicable to the study of 
 zoology. If we closely observe and study all the 
 various kinds of animals around us, we find that an 
 inexhaustible source of delight and admiration i3 
 opened to us, and that here, even more beautifully 
 than in vegetable life, the evidences of the Creator's 
 power, wisdom and benevolence are laid open before 
 us. If we watch the birds, what a joyous, privileged 
 race do they seem to be ! How they seem to enjoy 
 their own singing ; for if they did not, they would 
 not repeat the same few sounds day after day, thous- 
 ands of times ! How gracefully and lightly they 
 move about, flitting through the air, an element in 
 
14 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 which man has only learned clumsily, rarely and im- 
 perfectly to move by the means of a balloon ! Really, 
 I have often wondered why the Creator had endowed 
 the birds almost exclusively with the capacity and 
 facility of choosing, for the winter and for the sum- 
 mer, a congenial climate ; why He, on the whole, be- 
 stowed so much of his bounteous care just on the 
 birds. I have often thought, if I did not rejoice in 
 being a man, I should like to be a bird. 
 
 Then if we watch the multitude of insects, how won- 
 drous do they appear ! If we had never noticed 
 anything about them, except, for instance, a spider 
 weaving his net in the field, this alone would be 
 enough to fill our minds with wonder. But now, 
 though we learn all these facts, and though this 
 knowledge has a very salutary influence upon us, 
 what do we really know about most of the animals? 
 Nothing but their existence, their appearances, changes, 
 &c. Why they are what and as they are, and how 
 they happened to be so, about all this we know ab- 
 solutely nothing. 
 
 Many a time have I tried to penetrate to the foun- 
 dation of important facts and of trifles ; for instance, 
 how do birds know, long before winter or summer 
 really approaches, that they have to go either north 
 or south, and how do they know in what direction 
 they have to travel? How does the spider know 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 15 
 
 beforehand whether the weather will be good or not> 
 so as to make it advisable to weave either a large 
 and substantial, or a small and imperfect net ? Why- 
 has this butterfly just these beautiful spots and de- 
 signs on its wings? Why has that bug just such a 
 horn on its head ? Why is there so great a variety 
 of species of animals, and why do just those exist 
 that do exist ? What is their destiny ? All such 
 questions allude to things which we never can com- 
 prehend. All we know consists in phenomena, in 
 facts, perhaps in facts so invariably repeated and 
 established, that we allow ourselves to call their order 
 and routine, natural laws. But the essence and the 
 foundation of these phenomena and laws we never 
 can comprehend. 
 
 Much less than these can we hope ever fully to 
 understand what we call imponderable agents : heat, 
 light, electricity, magnetism, gravitation, &c. I think 
 there is an infinite charm in trying to become ac- 
 quainted with the phenomena produced by these 
 powers, in trying to trace and to establish the laws 
 upon which they act, and in making them servicea- 
 ble to man's will and purposes. Still here again, 
 these agents themselves, their origin, essence, vitality 
 and destiny are beyond our comprehension. 
 
 As much, or perhaps more mysterious than all I have 
 as far as now alluded to, is the power which produces 
 
16 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 the phenomena we learn and apply in chemistry. 
 "What is the way in which two or more simple sub- 
 stances form a new chemical compound ? What real 
 meaning can we attach to the theory of atoms ? 
 "Why do some substances chemically attract, and why 
 do others repel each other? Why do some substances 
 combine in the proportion of one to eight, and others 
 in other proportions? The facts are known, but these 
 questions concerning their origin, &c, will never be 
 solved by man. 
 
 Quite as wonderful and mysterious as anything I 
 have mentioned, is to us our own self. If we study 
 anthropology and the physiology of man, we meet 
 with more enrapturing proofs of God's wisdom, power 
 and goodness, than in the study of zoology ; but at 
 the same time with more perplexing and irresolulle 
 questions. Not only are the origin, propagation and 
 development of man as a corporal being meie facts 
 to us, ^explained in their essence, but ev< n less 
 than these can we comprehend a host of singularities. 
 Who can, for instance, explain the resemblance we 
 find in the faces of different individuals, and on the 
 other hand the almost total absence of a real, perfect 
 likeness between any two faces? the origin and de- 
 velopment of cutaneous and many other diseases? 
 the circumstance that the hands and feet of the mem- 
 bers and generations of some families have six fin- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 17 
 
 gers and six toes ; the existence of moles and other 
 peculiarities of that kind ? 
 
 If we contemplate man as a rational being, and 
 enter into the labyrinth of psychology, perplexing 
 questions crowd in upon us from all sides. First, we 
 can arrive at the certainty that we have a soul, a 
 mind, a spirit ; but the essence of this being we can- 
 not comprehend in the least. We cannot even form 
 a definite idea of its qualities and functions. How 
 is it that our mind remembers anything ? Why is 
 the memory of some persons quick, that of others 
 tenacious ? Why do we sometimes suddenly and in- 
 voluntarily remember a thing, which shortly before 
 we were entirely unable to recall? Why are some 
 persons entirely destitute of musical talent, though 
 their physical ear seems to be as perfect as that of 
 any great musician ? 
 
 When is a child's mind so far developed that we 
 can say " this is the moment when the chr 1 begins 
 to be a rational being ?' ; Is man an accountable 
 being as soon as he is to be considered a rational 
 being? If not, when does his accountability begin? 
 What becomes of a person's mind in second child- 
 hood? What is the origin of madness and what is 
 madness in itself? What influence does it have on 
 man's rational and moral worth, and on his rights 
 and duties in his relations to his fellow-men, to the 
 2 
 
18 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 universe, and to its God ? What is the nature of 
 the process of falling asleep and of awaking? 
 What is sleep itself and the state of the soul during 
 sleep ? What are dreams and what is their connec- 
 tion with man's character and destiny ? In what 
 way is our soul connected with our body, and what is 
 the essence of the influence it exerts on the latter ? 
 How far is the body under the control of the mind ? 
 Where is the exact boundary line between the mind's 
 activeness and passiveness, and consequently the 
 boundary between man's accountability and unac- 
 countableness ? What is the nature of the separa- 
 tion of body and mind, and its effects on the latter ? 
 What is really the destiny of any individual as well 
 as of the whole human race ? Why was there ever 
 such an episode in the history and development of 
 the human race, as that, for instance, which Lamar- 
 tine so forcibly and vividly details to us in his his- 
 tory " des Girondins "? Why did God create just 
 such an incomprehensible compound of matter and 
 of spirit, as man on investigation proves to be ? 
 
 I might add more such questions, but I suppose 
 those expressed are sufficient to prove what I wished 
 to establish, as an important truth, viz., that any 
 one who tries thoroughly to investigate the physical 
 and spiritual world, will find that there are many, 
 many things which he has to acknowledge as facts, 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 19 
 
 but which he cannot fully comprehend. Perhaps 
 there are many persons who have some answers ready, 
 which, as they think, settle some of the above matters 
 very satisfactorily, but it is my conviction that their 
 answers will only satisfy those persons who believe 
 they think, but do not think. 
 
 This may seem a paradox to many, but real think- 
 ers will appreciate this remark. The world, in this 
 respect, is the same now as it was at the time of So- 
 crates. Eeal thinkers only can reach that state of 
 rational and moral circumspection, which leads them 
 to declare that they love and seek the truth, (that 
 they are philosophers,) but that there are many, many 
 things which are beyond their comprehension. 
 
 There are persons, (and this class of men is very 
 large,) who believe themselves to be thinkers, but 
 who are no thinkers in reality. And these persons 
 are always in danger of believing things which are 
 not beyond their comprehension, but against their con- 
 viction, against common sense. Their minds are far 
 enough developed to receive ideas, and often they 
 really understand these ideas ; but mistaking the 
 mental function of understanding for comprehending, 
 they believe they do comprehend, where they only un- 
 derstand. That is, they have some vague idea, or 
 even a clear perception of the literal meaning of the 
 words they hear or read, but they have not the fac- 
 
20 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 ulty within themselves, independently to investigate 
 whether the idea they receive, is true or not. They 
 have some preconceived riotions which they have im- 
 bibed by education, by tradition, or by other external 
 influences, unwillingly and unwittingly. Everything 
 that agrees with these preconceived notions, they 
 consider as true, everything that comes in collision 
 with them, as false. But whether those precon- 
 ceived notions are true or false, whether, therefore, 
 this standard of their's, of truth and falsehood, is a 
 reliable and infallible guide — this they have never 
 investigated. Thus they believe they think, but 
 really do not think themselves ; we might say, it is 
 only their authority — their living or departed guide — 
 that thinks through them. 
 
 We may here mention that this fact is the reason 
 why error is so easily propagated ; this fact explains 
 the existence of so much falsehood and wrong, of so 
 many lamentable and prejudicial actions, events, hab- 
 its, institutions and laws. For we ourselves must be 
 either very wicked or very shortsighted and narrow- 
 minded, if we believe all misfortunes and wrongs on 
 this globe to be produced by the wickedness and 
 malice, or the demoniac spirit of man. No, by 
 far the greater amount of evil is the consequence 
 of man's blindness ; much evil exists only because 
 so many human beings do not think at all, and 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 21 
 
 because so many believe they think, but do not 
 think. 
 
 If we could all at once remove from the physical 
 and moral world, all that is produced by man's ig- 
 norance, delusion and blind belief, there would not 
 be much left to complain of, and those evils which 
 then might remain, would lose their principal sup- 
 port and would also vanish by degrees. Wicked men 
 would not find any field for their wicked activity and 
 influence, if they had not the ignorance and credulity 
 of millions of fellow-men to speculate upon. 
 
 There is another class of men whom we might call 
 half-thinkers. They have been fortunate enough to 
 disenthral themselves from the dominion of outward 
 authority, of inherited and communicated belief. 
 They have succeeded in examining what was recom- 
 mended to them and urged upon them as worthy of 
 belief, and they have rejected everything that was 
 contradictory to their unbiased and uncorrupted 
 judgment and common sense. But they only suc- 
 ceeded in pulling down what they found to be erro- 
 neous ; the insufficient development of their mental 
 faculties, their want of knowledge concerning the 
 physical and spiritual world, perhaps even the per- 
 version of their hearts, were such as to prevent them 
 from penetrating to a higher sphere ; they would 
 not acknowledge that there are things which are be- 
 
22 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR. 
 
 yond their comprehension and which they would have 
 to believe on the strength of their being facts, un- 
 deniable and irrefutable facts. 
 
 The consequence is that such persons remain scep- 
 tics. If their state of mind is the result of a sincere 
 search for truth and not of a desire to free themselves 
 of moral obligations, their condition is a credit and 
 an honor to them, and is by far more valuable 
 in the sight of God and of true men, than blind be- 
 lief ; still it always is a lamentable one, for they 
 often taste only the bitterness of life. I cannot but 
 think that Schiller had this in view when he said 
 " Error only is life, and knowledge is death." I 
 hardly know of any one whom I pity more and whom 
 I should more strongly wish to assist, than a sincere 
 sceptic who is not able to emerge from his bewil- 
 dered and obscured state of mind to a serene and 
 trustful faith. I say faith and not knowledge, because 
 as I said before, it is not given to man ever to arrive 
 at the abstract truth. 
 
 I have tried to elucidate this fact in a somewhat 
 lengthy way, because I attach the utmost importance 
 to it. I consider it the fundamental principle upon 
 which, in doubtful cases, our final happiness depends. 
 A right view of truth in the abstract is the only 
 thing which in the hours of trial and temptation can 
 give any certainty, stability and efficacy to our re- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 23 
 
 ligions views and feelings, and all the minor subjects 
 I have alluded to, are, therefore, more closely con- 
 nected with the great subject under contemplation, 
 than they might at first seem to be. 
 
n 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 CHAPTER n. 
 
 GENERAL REMARKS ON RELIGIOUS SECTS. 
 
 I can now return to speaking of my subject more 
 directly. By proving that no human being is in pos- 
 session of abstract truth, we have shown how much 
 reason Lessing had to say that probably no one of 
 the three rings was genuine. No sect, no creed does 
 or can give us truth in the abstract ; the only thing 
 they ever can attain, or pretend to attain, is freedom 
 from error. And who is there that would be pre- 
 sumptuous enough to say that his mind is free from 
 error, or that his creed is the pure embodiment of 
 truth ? 
 
 Alas ! this question is not the right one, for there 
 are only too many who are presumptuous enough to 
 think and to say so without being enabled by their 
 education, their mental development, their experience 
 and their fate in general, to form an opinion inde- 
 pendent of outward authority. I should ask, whom 
 would an impartial observer think to be free from 
 error? The answer certainly would be, very, very 
 few, if any. Truth when coming to us through the 
 channel of a human mind, resembles too much the 
 pure light of the sun which reaches our eye through 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 25 
 
 the medium of the atmosphere, here less, there more 
 broken, deflecting, discolored, dissolved, but never in 
 its original simplicity and purity. And even if we 
 take it for granted that Christ was the embodiment 
 of pure, abstract truth, to how many christian sects 
 or individuals would an impartial observer grant that 
 they have not distorted and confounded the simple 
 truth which Christ communicated to the world ? 
 
 Lessing has admirably succeeded in explaining 
 what can be required of us, under circumstances as 
 they are, or may be. The judge advises the three 
 brothers that each should firmly believe his ring to 
 be the genuine one. This is the touchstone which 
 ought to decide the worth of any religion, of any 
 creed, of any individual instance of religious faith 
 and profession. Every one ought to be willing to 
 grant that all the religious sects differing from his 
 own, may also have received their rings from their 
 father though theirs may not be genuine. He ought 
 to acknowledge that God, for some unknown purpose, 
 allows different sects to exist, and at least for a time, 
 to flourish, though there may be many errors mixed 
 with the simple, essential truths which we can find 
 in almost every religion. Every one, however, not- 
 withstanding his duty of tolerating other sects, ought 
 firmly to believe that his own faith is the genuine 
 ring. This is essential. He ought to acknowledge 
 
26 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 that there are things which he must believe without 
 fully comprehending them ; he may even acknowledge 
 that for aught he knows, he may be erroneous in 
 some things he believes, or disbelieves ; but above 
 all he ought to be sure that he fall into no error, 
 nor disbelieve any truth, voluntarily, or through his 
 own perverseness. Every one must think, investigate 
 and choose according to the light that is given to 
 him. 
 
 If it is his lot to be born in a country, in a family, 
 in a century, (or whatever other outward agencies we 
 may name.) that make it impossible for him to choose 
 without any prejudice, or perhaps to choose at all, 
 then let him faithfully and sincerely accept the faith 
 that is offered him by his fellow-men and his God. 
 If he is fortunate enough to have been disenthralled 
 from outward bondage, let him compare the different 
 sects that are willing to receive him ; let him decide 
 whether any one seems to him really to embody truth 
 in perfect purity, and if he finds such a one, let him 
 join that brotherhood, pledging himself to it with 
 heart and hand. 
 
 If he find none that seems to be free from error, 
 then let him decide whether love to God and love to 
 man require him, for the sake of fulfilling his destiny 
 on earth to pledge himself to any sect. If so, then 
 let him adhere to that one which he finds to be the 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 27 
 
 most free from error. If lie is not prompted to do 
 so, then let him decide whether God has called him 
 independently to preach the truth as he sees and 
 views it. If the spirit move him not, then let him 
 simply and quietly walk hefore his God as an humhle 
 and trustful child, abstaining from evil and doing 
 good as much as lies within him. He will prove that 
 his ring is genuine ; he will follow the judge's advice, 
 and he will verify the judge's prediction. 
 
 This is the whole secret, or rather the open secret 
 about the worth of any religion, of any religious 
 profession — sincerity and consistency, that is, the 
 fact of having tried to find out one's true relation 
 to God, and the fact of endeavoring to regulate one's 
 whole life in accordance with this relation, or rather 
 as its natural result and effluence. Whatever a man, 
 therefore, may profess, his ring is not genuine, if he 
 is guilty of inconsistency and hypocrisy. 
 
 If I had written the foregoing pages ten or fifteen 
 years ago, I might have believed that I had now said 
 enough about this story of Lessing, and that it would 
 be enough for me to try living in accordance with 
 the spirit it breathes, and to wish that others might 
 do the same. At that time my state of mind, my 
 experience and my surroundings were such as to 
 make me only admire the beauty and truth I found 
 in this story. I was not then able or induced to take 
 
28 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 another view of the subject. At present, however, 
 I feel bound to state in what respects I find the story 
 deficient and where I think we ought to alter, or at 
 least to complete its meaning and import. 
 
 I will not lay great stress upon the circumstance 
 that there is no foundation for saying there was at 
 first only one genuine ring which was handed down 
 through generations, from son to son. Abstract 
 truth never has dwelt upon the earth, and the primi- 
 tive generations of mankind never had any percep- 
 tion of religion in all its simplicity and purity. 
 Still we may be easily satisfied with the way in which 
 Lessing states the subject. His supposition cannot 
 have any practical result and effect for the worse. 
 On the contrary, I find it has a very delightful effect 
 upon the mind, since it serves as a contrast to the 
 present transitory and ] amen table state of confusion 
 and degradation, and incites the mind to long for a 
 better and more perfect condition of mankind — no 
 matter whether such a state ever has existed or not 
 
 More important is the view we must take in devi- 
 ation from Lessing's representation, of the number 
 and the names of the sects we are obliged to compare. 
 In this country and at the present time, there is no 
 practical need of our taking the Jewish and Moham- 
 medan sects into consideration ; we must confine our 
 comparison to the different denominations of Christians. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 29 
 
 In Lessing's time and in the country that Lore 
 him, there would have been hardly any inducement 
 to take a comprehensive view of any other than the 
 Catholic, Lutheran and Eeformed churches. With 
 us, however, it is different. The sects which exist 
 around us, which lay claim to our attention and 
 invite us to join their ranks, are far more than three 
 in number, and this circumstance makes, therefore, 
 the matter more complicate and the decision more 
 difficult. 
 
 The principal things about which we must differ 
 from Lessing are the decision and the choice which 
 ought to be the result of our knowledge and views 
 concerning the different sects. When Nathan has 
 finished his story, he says to Saladin, " If you feel 
 within you that you are this wiser man who was 
 promised," — Saladin interrupts him, saying, "I — 
 dust ? I — nothing ? God ! — Nathan, dear Nathan ! 
 Thy judge's thousands of thousand years are not 
 yet past. His judgment's seat does not belong to me. 
 Go ! Go ! But be my friend V 9 
 
 I think we ought not to agree with the opinion 
 which this passage implies. As far as we, individu- 
 ally and personally are concerned, I think, we ought 
 to say that the judge's seat belongs to each and all 
 of us. As I said before, if Providence has enabled 
 us to compare the different sects, it is not only our 
 
30 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 right, but also our duty to decide whether any one 
 of them is an unalloyed embodiment of true religion, 
 or to find out Avhich of them comes nearest to our 
 standard of purity and perfection. And at the pres- 
 ent time most of us, at least in this country, are 
 enabled and induced to compare the different sects, 
 and we are not allowed to waive the question, " what 
 denomination we consider to be the best." 
 
 There is another passage in Lessing's work which 
 refers to the same subject. Saladin interrupts 
 Nathan's story with these words : " The rings ! — Do 
 not play with me ! — I should think that the religions 
 I named to thee, might be distinguished. Even as 
 to dress ; as to drink and meat !" Nathan replies ; 
 " Only not as far as their foundation is concerned. 
 For do they not all found themselves on history, 
 written, or delivered by tradition ? xVnd history, I 
 suppose , has to be accepted only on trust and faith, 
 is it not so ? Well, whose trustworthiness and faith- 
 fulness is one least apt to doubt ? I should think 
 that of one's own ? That of tli >se from whom we 
 descended — that of those who have given us from 
 our childhood proofs of their love — who never have 
 deceived us, except where it was more salutary for 
 us to be deceived ? How can I less trust in my fore- 
 fathers, than you in yours ? Or the reverse. Can 
 I expect that you should give the lie to your ancestors 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 31 
 
 for the sake of not contradicting mine? Or the 
 reverse. The same can be said of the Christians. 
 Is it not so ?" Saladin exclaims ; " By the living 
 One ! The man is right. I must be silent V 
 
 There is a great deal of beauty, force and truth 
 in this dialogue. Still, neither the views it expresses, 
 nor the whole work of which it is a part, ought to 
 lead us into the belief that it is entirely indifferent 
 or irrelevant what sect we belong to. We know that 
 God will accept every one, to whatever sect he may 
 belong, if he is only sincere in his belief, and dili- 
 gent in making his life the sincere expression of his 
 faith. But we ought not to say that all sects are 
 equal as to the probability of making it easy for us 
 to be sincere in our belief, or to make our life the 
 true and real effluence of our faith. 
 
 We live in a century and in a country and in cir- 
 cumstances that cannot fail to open our minds more 
 or less to reflection, and we cannot abide by the 
 traditions, by the history and by the opinions of our 
 fathers and grandfathers. We must compare ; we 
 must choose. And in doing so, we shall find a vast 
 difference between the various sects. Some will 
 seem to us repulsive, because our minds revolt 
 against subscribing to their tenets, or because their 
 rites and outward regulations in general do not 
 awaken any sympathy in our hearts. Others will 
 
32 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 have a contrary effect, and if we deliberately choose 
 to join any sect, we must bestow our preference where 
 we hope entirely, or almost entirely, to find ourselves 
 free from danger of subscribing to tenets which 
 seem erroneous or doubtful to us ; where we are sure 
 that the forms and regulations will not hinder us in 
 leading a sincere and godly life ; where on the con- 
 trary, everything will tend to assisting, inciting and 
 strengthening us in our endeavors to become perfect 
 as our Father in Heaven is perfect. 
 
 I know that Providence does not grant equal pow- 
 ers and equal opportunities to all men by their own 
 observation, investigation and experience to come to 
 a comprehensive view and decision concerning all or 
 even most of the many sects of Christians. Still, as 
 I have said before, at the present time, in this country 
 most persons are more or less enabled, obliged and 
 forced to decide and to choose for themselves on some 
 ground or other. It is their duty to use those means 
 which God may send them, by which he induces them 
 to think, and by which he assists them in choosing. 
 Thus I consider it to be the duty of every one who 
 has read the foregoing pages, carefully to examine 
 the following narrative of my experiences. 
 
 Providence has guided me so far in a strange 
 manner through a checkered life. On my way 
 through the past years I have had many occasions 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 33 
 
 and inducements to compare the different christian 
 sects, as well concerning their different creeds, as con- 
 cerning their different forms. I have probably had 
 more experience of this kind than commonly falls to 
 the lot of man, and finally the conviction slowly 
 ripened within me, that I should not have lived in 
 vain, if I had communicated to my fellow-men my 
 experiences and opinions concerning the two aspects 
 of religion I have mentioned. 
 
 If humility towards our Creator allows us to speak 
 of a special Providence, I might say, I have reason 
 to believe that my fate, my whole life has tended to 
 fit me for the task I have undertaken and to awaken 
 in me the sense of an imperative duty, pointing out 
 to me this task as the only way in which I could 
 make my life the truthful reflection of a sincere faith, 
 of a faith dearly bought through long years of doubt, 
 darkness and severe trials. 
 
 Under these impressions I write ; under these 
 impressions I trust in the issue of my undertaking. 
 May God destine it to assist individuals in their 
 search after holiness and truth ; or may it pass by 
 silently, unnoticed and as to the world at large, 
 ineffective — one happy result it will produce — it will 
 ease the conscience of one person ; — finished or unfin- 
 ished, it will prepare one person to die with the con- 
 viction of having tried to do his duty, and will 
 3 
 
34 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 thus enable him to die in tranquillity and peace. 
 
 I wish, therefore, as I have intimated, to relate 
 the incidents of my past life, as far as they seem to 
 be either directly or indirectly connected with the 
 subject of religion ; as far as they in themselves are 
 apt to show which religious sect seems to be the best 
 adapted to promoting through its tenets and its 
 forms, the aims of religion ; or at least as far as 
 they have given me occasion to meditate on this 
 subject. Among other subjects of general or particu- 
 lar interest I shall mention only those which seemed 
 to have some influence upon the development of my 
 individual religious life and thus indirectly upon my 
 opinions concerning religion in general. 
 
 I will not raise the reader's expectations so much 
 as to cause him to anticipate a narrative full of start- 
 ling facts and events : on the contrary, many things 
 may appear, in themselves, insignificant ; their only 
 claim to attention will be that they afford me an 
 occasion for making reflections, and that they may 
 induce the reader to look back upon his own life, to 
 compare his own experiences and opinions with mine, 
 and thus to come to a conclusion of his own. What- 
 ever this conclusion may be, God will bless it with 
 happy consequences, if it is only formed with sincerity 
 and with a good will towards God and humanity. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 35 
 
 CHAPTEK HI. 
 
 REMINISCENCES OF CHILDHOOD. 
 
 I was born in the year 1821 in Germany, in the 
 Northern part of the Granddukedoni of Oldenburg. 
 
 There is nothing that has so great an influence 
 upon a person's relations throughout his life, as the 
 circumstances connected with the beginning of his 
 earthly career. In what age or century a person is 
 born ; in what country and place ; who are his parents 
 and what their constitution, temperament, character 
 and condition ; whatever other agencies act upon a 
 person about the time of his birth — all this together 
 has such an influence upon his bodily and mental 
 constitution, upon his development, upon his feelings, 
 thoughts, character and fate throughout his life, that 
 it is very difficult to draw a line between the two 
 parts of his actions and fate which depend, or do not 
 depend upon his free will. 
 
 This general remark is applicable to a good many 
 things connected with religion ; particularly have the 
 circumstances connected with a person's birth, a great 
 influence as to the religious sect to which he after- 
 wards may belong. This is more noticeable in Europe 
 than in this country ; in fact, in any other country 
 
36 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 more so than in the United States. There are mil- 
 lions and millions of people on earth of whom it 
 could never be expected that they should have the 
 remotest idea of belonging to any other sect than 
 to that of their parents. And even if every indi- 
 vidual's mind were so far developed as to be able to 
 comprehend such a possibility, still there would be 
 millions of people left who would not be at liberty 
 to follow their own choice. This shows how little 
 difference it makes, as to acceptableness with God, to 
 what denomination a person belongs ; that is, not by 
 choice, but in fact. 
 
 In Germany, the inhabitants of the same region 
 belong almost exclusively to the same denomination. 
 The South is Catholic; the North Protestant. In 
 some large cities one may find considerable congre- 
 gations formed by people who do not belong to the 
 prevailing sect ; but in smaller towns and in the 
 country there are usually only a few dissenting indi- 
 viduals ; in many regions there is not one such person 
 to be found. In the Northern part of my native 
 state, the inhabitants belonged to the Lutheran 
 denomination. Probably, I did not see in my child- 
 hood any person who was not a Lutheran, except, 
 perhaps, a few Jews who lived here and there as 
 pedlers or hucksters. 
 
 Everything, therefore, which had a religious influ- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 37 
 
 ence upon me, or which, at least, was intended to 
 have such an influence, came to me through the 
 channel of the Lutheran creed and the Lutheran 
 rites. There and at that time every child was bap- 
 tized a few days, or a few weeks after its "birth. I 
 suppose, no parent would have heen at liberty to 
 deviate from this rule. At least, I recollect that 
 once, (even more than twenty years later) a child 
 was taken by the constable and carried to the church 
 to be baptized. Its parents had refused to have the 
 child baptized by the parish minister, since they had 
 been converted to a sect which just then began to 
 make proselytes in Germany without being tolerated 
 and without being allowed to withdraw from the 
 existing church and ritual. 
 
 During my childhood, however, there was no agi- 
 tation of any kind concerning religion. Most parents 
 had their children baptized, not exactly because the 
 government commanded it, nor because they them- 
 selves had investigated the doctrine of baptism and 
 had come to the conviction of its necessity. I sup- 
 pose, they were only prompted by a superstitious, or 
 at least a vague belief in the purifying power of 
 baptism, and by the desire of giving the child a 
 name. Perhaps they ventured upon choosing a 
 name sometime before baptism, and, though rarely, 
 upon using this name ; but nobody believed that the 
 
38 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 latter could be lawfully given except by the minister 
 while baptizing. I know of one instance where 
 the minister forgot to pronounce the name intended 
 to be given. The child's parents had no peace of 
 mind until the minister had come once more, had 
 baptized the child again and given it a name. 
 
 According to the rule I have spoken of, I was 
 baptized when about a fortnight old. Whether I 
 have reason to rejoice in this circumstance, I am 
 hardly able to decide. I know it has done me no 
 harm, and on the whole, I know only of two things 
 which might be said in opposition to such a rite. 
 The one which is merely local and outward, is this : 
 The life, or at least the health of children is often ex-' 
 posed to danger, if the baptism is performed in the 
 church, and if the children are carried there during 
 the winter, as it is done in Germany where the 
 churches are not warmed. And the immersion of 
 adults cannot fail to bo injurious under such circum- 
 stances as we sometimes hear of. It is true that 
 during an intense excitement a person can endure a 
 great deal ; still, such a power of endurance ought 
 not to be put to so severe a test. 
 
 The other objection is of a graver nature. People 
 are apt to have too high an opinion of the influence 
 of baptism, an opinion degenerating into superstitious 
 awe and hope. There are whole sects whose creed 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 39 
 
 enjoins the belief in the purifying effect of baptism. 
 We ought not to find fault with Luther for standing 
 still and halting half way ; for saying in his some- 
 what mystical explanation of the sacraments : " the 
 water does not do it, but the word of God which 
 cometh with and by the water." Luther was a great 
 man, a giant who dared to storm the fortress of the 
 Catholic hierarchy, formalism and superstition ; but 
 should we wonder, if he could not rid himself from 
 some preconceived notions? Truly, if Luther had 
 lived in the present day, he would have been a 
 reformer of a different stamp. 
 
 At the present time it seems to me infinitely more 
 easy to free one's self from the dominion of precon- 
 ceived notions. A clearer view ought now to be 
 expected even from thousands of men who are far 
 inferior to Luther in mental power and in genuine, 
 rational piety. Nothing but want of independent 
 thought can be the reason why millions of Christians 
 at present ascribe to baptism more than a symbolical 
 significance. 
 
 If I examine myself, with the best intention, I 
 cannot really ascribe to being baptized anything good 
 that I might find within me. The minister who 
 baptized me, was a very good man, but he could not 
 influence me at the time, neither personally, nor as 
 God's medium or mediator. I met him again when 
 
40 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 I was a youth, and I honored him as a good man, 
 but not because he had baptized me. What virtue 
 or power was there in the act of sprinkling my head 
 with a few drops of water? I was certainly after it 
 identically the same being in body and soul, as the 
 moment before. The sacred words the minister pro- 
 nounced, could not change me, and transform me in 
 that moment from a Heathen into a Christian. They 
 could not drive out the inherited sin, if there was 
 any in me. They could not protect me against the 
 influence of the devil, if I was exposed to the malice 
 of such a being. They could not change the aim 
 for which a kind Deity had created me, for God is 
 good and wise, and does not need the rite of baptism 
 to connect himself kindly and closely with the crea- 
 tures of his hand. 
 
 The only influence my baptism could have, was 
 that exerted on the grown persons concerned in it, 
 and I hardly venture to say that it had any decided 
 influence upon them. I suppose, my parents' con- 
 science was eased by having me baptized, but I do 
 not believe that their conduct towards me, their care 
 for me and their influence upon me were much affected 
 by that act, or by the recollection of it. The min- 
 ister who was afterward promoted to a higher dignity, 
 and in whose diocese I was teacher for some time, 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 41 
 
 treated me very kindly ; still, I am sure he would 
 have done so, if he had not "baptized me. 
 
 I do not think that my sponsors were much influ- 
 enced by that religious act ; at least, I do not remem- 
 ber that they ever tried, as such, to promote my 
 bodily or mental welfare. In fact, I am not sure 
 that I ever have known who they were. When I 
 commenced this part of my narrative, I did not know 
 their names, and wishing to know of my relation to 
 them, I was obliged, first to examine the certificate 
 of baptism in my possession. I find there one per- 
 son mentioned, whom, I think, I have never known, 
 and the other two were not at all remembered by me 
 as my sponsors. 
 
 My experience on this subject is no exception. 
 Persons in the most widely differing situations must 
 acknowledge to have had the same experience. The 
 poorer classes of my countrymen chose sponsors 
 principally with the expectation of most welcome 
 baptismal presents, and when the sponsors had given 
 these, they had done all that was expected from them. 
 In other cases, the sponsors were chosen on the 
 ground of consanguinity, or of other claims to re- 
 spect and attention. 
 
 I do not recollect often to have met with instances 
 where sponsors were chosen, or were acting in accord- 
 
42 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 ance with the principle of responsibility and guar- 
 dianship involved in this relation. 
 
 Still, after all, I would not very decidedly militate 
 against the continuance of the rite of baptism. I 
 know the Quakers have good reasons for maintaining 
 that baptism with water is no sacrament. John the 
 Baptist says that he himself baptizes with water, 
 but Christ will baptize with the Hohy Ghost and with 
 fire. (Matt, iii : 11. Lukeiii: 16.) 
 
 The Quakers are right when they say, there is no 
 proof that Christ's injunctions of baptizing and of 
 being baptized, include the necessity of baptizing 
 with water. They are right in saying there is no 
 record of Christ's having baptized anybody. They 
 have, therefore, some reason for explaining baptism 
 as a spiritual regeneration and for discontinuing the 
 rite of baptism as a mere form. 
 
 I agree so far with them, that I personally do not 
 attach any importance to having been baptized, and 
 that I think the most perfect state of the human 
 mind is the one in which an individual proves to be 
 religious independently of all outward forms. I can- 
 not help wishing, therefore, that all Christians might 
 adopt the view of the Quakers, and that everybody 
 might be baptized with the Holy Ghost and with fire, 
 and not with water. Still, I believe, that at present 
 the world at large is not prepared for leading a reli- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 43 
 
 gious life entirely independent of forms and rites, 
 and, therefore, I think we ought to be tolerant enough 
 to look without great disappointment upon the con- 
 tinuance of baptism among some sects, for an indefi- 
 nite space of time. 
 
 However, if I should express my opinion fully, I 
 ought to add that I should have much more sympathy, 
 in this respect, with the Baptists, than with the other 
 denominations who consider the baptism of infants 
 necessary. As I have stated above, the influence of 
 the latter upon the assisting grown persons is very 
 slight, very rare and very passing. The influence 
 upon the child I consider to be null at the time, and 
 problematic as to the future. In this country, I sup- 
 pose I have seen grown persons, at least, I know I 
 have seen children and youths, who never had been 
 baptized, and certainly there was nothing about them 
 by which to distinguish them from those that had 
 been baptized. 
 
 The Baptists have, at least, this in their favor, 
 that they can say, the baptism of adults is calculated 
 to have some good influence upon the baptized indi- 
 viduals. If it is not the fruit of superstition or of 
 hypocrisy, it is the result and evidence of a right 
 state of mind and probably a means of strengthening 
 and inciting a person to strive for a pure religious 
 faith and a pure religious life. 
 
44 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 Having thus expressed my opinion upon the most 
 important religious subject connected with my child- 
 hood, I have hut little more to add. My parents 
 were both quite as religious as anybody around them. 
 My father was a just, upright and active man. He 
 was organist in the church of a small village and 
 teacher in the parish school, and as such he had offi- 
 cially to take a part in all the customary religious 
 acts and performances. He did this without any 
 great amount of outward signs of devotion, but also 
 without any carelessness or levity. My mother went 
 only once or twice a month to church, but her life 
 was an uninterrupted exemplification of the true 
 character of a good wife, mother, mistress and 
 neighbor. 
 
 I can hardly remember any instance of having 
 been obliged or induced during my childhood, to join 
 in any religious exercises, or even to witness them. 
 I have a faint recollection of having been at church 
 and of listening to the organ, but I have not the 
 slightest recollection of having heard any sermon. 
 At home we had no morning or evening devotions. 
 As I intimated above, this does not prove that my 
 parents were not religious, or did not try to educate 
 their children well. They were what their time and 
 their country made them. I think there was not 
 in the whole neighborhood a family, where the mem- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 45 
 
 bers were wont to meet for any such religious exercises. 
 Thus it could not be expected of my parents, that 
 they should do so. 
 
 What in this country is left to parents and to 
 Sabbath- School Teachers, was in my native country 
 expected and required from the common schools. 
 There, the children are instructed in religion as soon 
 as they enter, which is at the age of six years, and 
 there I suppose I received my first definite impressions 
 concerning religion. Still I am unable to trace them. 
 Since my father allowed me to enter the school when 
 I was four years old, I learned all the first elements 
 of knowledge, (writing, reading, &c.,) without now 
 being able to recall that, when and how I learned 
 them. 
 
 Whatever course my parents pursued in my mental 
 and spiritual education, whether they could have 
 done more, or not, for the sake of making me a good 
 and pious man, so much is certain, that they did not 
 kill the spirit by formalism ; they did nothing to make 
 me hate outward religion ; they did not embitter my 
 early years- by useless and irksome attempts to foster 
 a precocious religious spirit. I have no recollection 
 of early griefs and sorrows, and believe, therefore, 
 to have spent a very happy childhood, a childhood 
 which made it less difficult for me, afterwards to 
 aspire to purity and simplicity in religious faith. 
 
46 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 I ought, however, on this occasion to notice one 
 more thing which is of the greatest importance as to 
 the religious views which a child may imbibe, and 
 which may perhaps be fixed in his mind forever ; I 
 mean superstition. A child can be made to believe 
 anything, and what it does believe at the time — this 
 is entirely the work of outward influences. And 
 what the grown person believes, or disbelieves, may 
 be different from the belief of his childhood ; still, 
 the latter cannot be considered as entirely irrelevant. 
 Happy are those who in their childhood are neither 
 made to believe too little, nor too much ; for any one 
 is apt on coming to years of discretion to be driven 
 into an extreme either on the same side where he 
 erred in his childhood, or on the opposite. 
 
 My parents, as far as I recollect, did nothing to 
 make me superstitious in religious matters. I only 
 remember that my mother used to relate incidents 
 like the following. 
 
 One evening during her childhood, a gentleman 
 and his wife who had paid a visit at her father's 
 house, were accompanied home by a servant with a 
 lantern. On the way they were overtaken by a 
 thunderstorm, and the servant, in spite of all admoni- 
 tion, spoke about it in a very irreligious way, saying, 
 " light up, devil, &c." Because the weather was so 
 bad, he was persuaded to stay over night at the 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 47 
 
 neighbor's house. There, he lay down to sleep on a 
 bench in a front room. The lightning struck the 
 house, entered at the gable end, went down into that 
 room, killed that servant, and went out again without 
 injuring any one else, or setting the house on fire. 
 
 I know we ought not to judge others, and ought 
 not to call anybody's misfortunes, except our own, 
 punishments, judgments, admonitions of the Deity. 
 Still, I would rather have been taught by my mother 
 that God punishes the wicked directly on this earth 
 than to be told that money paid for a mass, will help 
 a soul sooner to get out of purgatory, &c. 
 
 From other children and from grown people of a 
 limited education I heard occasionally some things 
 which were superstitious and absurd enough. There 
 was more superstition among the people at large than 
 one would expect to find in the 19th century, in a 
 protestant community. Many there were who firmly 
 believed in ghosts, in forebodings, in places being 
 haunted &c. I will only give one specimen. 
 
 In our neighborhood there was an estate which in 
 feudal times had been owned by a noble family. 
 Several centuries ago there lived on this estate a man 
 who was a tyrant over his subjects. He built a 
 church, and when it was finished, and the preacher 
 was to preach in it for the first time, he told the 
 latter not to begin his sermon before he should arrive. 
 
48 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 The preacher waited a long time, but at last, when 
 he gave up all hope of seeing the nobleman, he began 
 his sermon. Very soon, however, his patron entered 
 the church, and finding that he had been disobeyed, 
 he killed the minister instantly in the pulpit. 
 
 This, and other such evil deeds showed his estrange- 
 ment from God ; he went on from one crime to 
 another, and at last, for some purpose or other, he 
 forfeited himself to the devil. However, when he 
 lay on his death-bed, he determined upon cheating 
 the devil out of his reward, and gave his directions 
 accordingly. 
 
 His servants, therefore, when their master had 
 died, placed him in a coffin upon the threshing floor. 
 Around it they drew a magic circle, and inside of 
 the circle they seated themselves to watch and to 
 pray over the corpse, and thus to keep off the devil. 
 At midnight, the lord of the infernal regions made 
 his appearance and demanded his own. However, 
 he could not break the spell and could not pass into 
 the circle. Enraged he disappeared. 
 
 The second night he was not much more successful. 
 Misfortune only befell a chanticleer, whom the ser- 
 vants had kept within the circle to tell by his song 
 the hour of the night ; he ventured across the line, 
 and the devil in his rage tore him into pieces. Dur- 
 ing the third night, by some unaccountable mistake, 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 49 
 
 the coffin had been placed too near the circumference. 
 The devil found it possible to lay hold of the corpse. 
 The servants, when they saw this, tried by fervent 
 and loud prayers to avert the impending evil. The 
 devil became so enraged at this that he knew no 
 bounds to his wrath ; he fleeced the dead body in 
 an instant, and threw the skin at the servants' heads. 
 The men stooped, and the skin hit the opposite wall. 
 It made a reddish spot there, and this spot can be 
 seen " up to the present day no whitewashing can 
 blot out the stain. 
 
 I will not say that I ever believed this and other 
 stories of the same stamp, but I know I listened to 
 them with infinite delight and " pleasant horror," 
 and I am sure there were many old people and chil- 
 dren who firmly believed them. 
 
 4 
 
50 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 BOYHOOD. 
 
 For several reasons early childhood is usually con- 
 sidered as terminating with the eighth year. For a 
 special reason I must consider this age still more 
 decidedly as the end of my childhood. At that time, 
 my father was promoted to a better situation in a 
 village about nine miles distant from my birthplace, 
 and this change of residence had a great influence 
 on me. At least it seems to me, as if it all at once 
 developed my mental faculties to a considerable 
 degree. 
 
 That event itself left a very lively impression on 
 my mind, and from that time on, I can not only 
 remember many single facts and occurrences, but can 
 also trace the effects these events had on me. On 
 the other hand, the years just preceding that change 
 are almost a blank in my memory. This leads me 
 to believe that it does not injure children to leave 
 their birthplace when young. It is true, they ought 
 not to travel much, nor ought they to be transplanted, 
 single and alone ; but their home need not always 
 be in the same place. If the family ties remain 
 unbroken, a change of residence is more influential 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 51 
 
 and desirable than the forming of local attachments 
 by remaining in one place. 
 
 Kelio-ious exercises did not enter into our domestic 
 life as a regular thing, any more than in our former 
 residence. For some reason or other, however, my 
 father attempted once, or twice to introduce prayers 
 before dinner. One, or two of us children had to 
 recite a short prayer which we had learned by heart. 
 This rule, however, was kept up only a few weeks or 
 months, and I recollect very well how delighted we 
 children were at being freed from such a duty. I 
 am not aware that any religious thought or feeling 
 ever was awakened in me, by and during those 
 prayers ; but I have not forgotten what an irksome 
 thing they seemed to be. 
 
 I do not know what induced my father to discon- 
 tinue this practice, but I should praise him and con- 
 sider him very judicious, if he gave it up, because he 
 found it a disagreeable task for us. I will not say 
 that parents ought to do nothing that displeases 
 their children, but I think children who are indiffer- 
 ent, or averse to frequent and regular praying, show 
 more good judgment and common sense than their 
 parents who insist upon forcing it upon their children 
 against their wishes. 
 
 At school, religion formed the principal part of 
 our exercises and instruction. Every morning and 
 
52 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 afternoon, the whole class sang at the "beginning, 
 three or four stanzas of a hymn ; thereupon one 
 scholar read a long prayer ; then the next recited 
 the Lord's prayer, and two or three others followed 
 reciting short prayers from a collection which each 
 of us possessed. At noon and in the evening the 
 school was closed by a short prayer, or by singing 
 one stanza of a hymn. My recollection of these 
 exercises is not a very pleasant one. I cannot trace 
 any good impression they made on me ; on the con- 
 trary, I know how anxious I often was to get through. 
 And I am sure I was no more irreligious or wicked 
 than the other scholars ; they all felt and spoke 
 about the subject as I did. 
 
 More favorable and cheerful are my impressions 
 of the religious instruction imparted at school. My 
 father had commenced teaching before the year 1810, 
 when the methods of instruction had not yet been so 
 much developed and perfectioned as they were when 
 I began teaching ; moreover, at that time, there ex- 
 isted no special institutions like the teacher's semi- 
 naries of a later date in which we younger teachers 
 were directly prepared for our business. Thus it 
 could not be expected from my father that he should 
 make his religious instruction as interesting and 
 useful, as I know from my own experience they can 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 53 
 
 be made. Still, even his labors, I think, were not 
 in vain. 
 
 The first school hour of two mornings in the week, 
 was dedicated to the catechism ; of two others, to 
 Bible history, and of the remaining two, to the Epis- 
 tles and to Hymns. The first branch of these in- 
 structions did not consist in the teacher's asking 
 questions from the book and the scholars' reciting 
 answers that were learned by rote. The teacher had 
 prepared a dialogue upon a definite plan. For exam, 
 pie, if he was to teach about Omnipotence, he first 
 tried to elicit from the scholars, or to develop in their 
 minds the idea of power and of omnipotence. Then 
 he made them find in the Universe around them and 
 in their own being, the proofs of God's Omnipotence. 
 Then he explained the verses in the Bible which 
 speak of God as the Almighty. Lastly, he tried to 
 bring this knowledge home to the scholars by helping 
 them to find out what influence this truth had, or 
 must have on every human mind. He exemplified 
 this by adducing or relating instances of historical 
 persons whose lives showed the impress of this truth, 
 and he finished by a short epilogue calculated to 
 awaken in the scholars a desire to let their lives be 
 influenced by the religious truth they had contem- 
 plated. If a teacher did not always succeed in warm- 
 ing the hearts of his scholars, at least he was apt to 
 
54 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 enlighten their minds, since he always instructed by 
 means of free and unembarrassed dialogues ; and 
 this seems to me to be doing a great deal. 
 
 The second branch oi religious instruction consisted 
 in reading, reciting, explaining and applying those 
 parts of the old and new Testament, which, connected 
 wi th occasional supplementary information, gave a 
 knowledge of the ante-Mosaic history, of the origin, 
 continuance and downfall of the Mosaic religion, and 
 of the origin of Christianity. To this was often 
 added an outline of ecclesiastical history up to the 
 present time. 
 
 The third branch consisted partly in reading, analyz- 
 ing, explaining and reciting hymns, but principally 
 in reading and explaining the Epistles of the Apostles, 
 impressing as much as possible upon the minds and 
 hearts of the scholars the importance and necessity 
 of regulating one's life in accordance with the precepts 
 given in the text. 
 
 Besides this instruction, complete in itself, we also 
 received instruction from the minister, and I recollect 
 distinctly what a useless and disagreeable addition 
 this seemed to us. On Sundays, the scholars of the 
 first class were obliged to go to church, and when the 
 sei vices were over, we had to place ourselves in the 
 aisle, the boys in a file on one side, and the girls on 
 the other. As I was at the head of the class, I had 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 55 
 
 first to say along prayer which. I had learned by heart. 
 Then the minister tried to give us religious instruction, 
 but he never made it interesting, or useful. On the 
 whole, never afterwards did I hear a minister instruct 
 the children so well in religion, as the primary teach- 
 ers. The former were not, like the latter, directly 
 prepared and trained for teaching children, through 
 the medium of dialogues, and failed, therefore, in 
 forming the right plan, in putting the right questions* 
 in making the right use of answers they received. On 
 the whole, they were deficient in tact, and the latter 
 makes the good teacher, much more than any amount 
 of erudition. 
 
 On Wednesdays and Saturdays the minister came 
 to the school. On the latter day, he explained to us 
 Luther's small catechism. On the former, he ques- 
 tioned us about the sermon of the preceding Sunday, 
 of which he expected us to have written, at least, the 
 text, the subject and the principal heads or subdivisions 
 "We did not like this much ; still if it did not make us 
 better, it obliged us, at least, to be partially attentive, 
 and it proved thus to be a good mental exercise. I 
 learned to give quite an extensive sketch of a sermon, 
 but the minister once made a great mistake, and spoiled 
 the pleasure I might have derived from it. Once, 
 when I showed him such a sketch, he said, he supposed 
 that " I had ploughed with another person's oxen," 
 
56 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 moaning that I had copied from the notes which he 
 knew my father's assistaut was wont to make. I do 
 not think I wrote again an extensive sketch of a ser- 
 mon, until I went to another school and heard other 
 ministers. 
 
 Truly, suspicion, or any kind of injustice, cuts sha/p- 
 ly into the heart of a child, and grown persons ought 
 to beware of hurting a child's feelings. I remember, 
 for instance, that some years later, one of my teachers, 
 in a fit of passion, threw a book at the head of a 
 scholar. The latter dodged, and the book hit me who 
 was sitting on the bench behind him. The teacher 
 did not say a word of excuse to me, and I remember 
 it took me a long time to forgive him this want of 
 justice and 'of kindness. Surely, the best way of 
 teaching children religion, is to be religious one's self, 
 and especially scrupulously religious in one's treatment 
 of children. And by " religious " I mean " wise, just 
 and kind," towards them, as God is towards us. 
 
 If I have confessed in the foregoing lines, that I 
 was not interested in most of the religious performan- 
 ces I participated in or witnessed, I think I do not 
 expose myself to the blame of having been more 
 irreligious than other children. I have noticed the 
 same spirit in most children wherever I have been. 
 Even in this country, in a family where the mother 
 was truly a pious woman, and the children were as good 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 57 
 
 and as well educated as in any other family, I noticed 
 that the children were not always interested in our 
 family devotions, (at least, not in tke long ones on 
 Sundays,) and that they really disliked heing taught 
 their catechism. 
 
 Instead of believing, as their mother did, that this 
 was owing to inherent sin, I thought they followed 
 their uncorrupted instinct and best guide. 
 
 As to public worship, I think the Quakers are, by 
 far, the most judicious. If I am rightly informed 
 they do not oblige their children to be present at the 
 Sunday meetings, but hold a meeting in the middle 
 of the week, which is appointed principally to meet 
 the wants of children. 
 
 I must notice one instance from my boyhood which 
 shows, in opposition to other things mentioned, that 
 I was neither thoughtless, nor inaccessible to religious 
 impressions. For several years, my father let me go 
 a part of the week, to a neighboring village for the 
 sake of taking Latin lessons from a candidate of 
 Divinity. I remember that every morning just after 
 having started, I recommended myself to God's pro- 
 tection, by repeating Christ's words : " Father, into 
 thy hands I commend my spirit." I suppose, I was 
 principally influenced by fear, to do so, for my path led 
 me through many meadows where there were herds of 
 cattle. Occasionally some of them became furious, 
 
58 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 and we heard now and then of instances where a person 
 had heen attacked by them. But even if it was fear, 
 and not the higher motive of disinterested love that 
 first led me thus to pray of my own accord, I look 
 hack upon that circumstance with great delight. It 
 showed that I spontaneously acknowledged God to he 
 my father and protector. And certainly my childish 
 religion was as good as that of most grown persons ; 
 for how many are there, who can say, " I am entirely 
 free from fear and from self-interest, and I pray to 
 God with disinterestedness and pure love ; my prayers 
 are not the result of mere hahit, nor prompted hy the 
 dread of impending evil, or by the hopes of future 
 gifts and rewards ? " 
 
 When I was about 12 years of age, my father sent 
 me to the gymnasium or college, in a neighboring 
 town. This change could not fail again to have a de- 
 cided influence on me ; it changed my whole course of 
 studies ; it forced me into entirely different associations ; 
 it taught me somewhat early to depend upon myself, 
 since my father hired a room for me in a private house 
 where the people had and exercised no control over 
 me. Still I was not entirely removed out of my fami- 
 ly's circle. I was only five miles from home and spent, 
 therefore, many a Satarday and Sunday with my 
 parents, besides all my vacations which came five times 
 a year, and lasted from one to three weeks each. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 59 
 
 For some time there occurred hardly anything of 
 which I could say that it had a decidedly new religious 
 influence upon me. At college we were instructed in 
 religion in a manner which has left no deep traces in 
 my mind, no more than^ the Sunday catechizations 
 which all the students under 14 years of age were 
 ohliged to attend. When I was at home, I often went 
 with my father to church/principally, I suppose, "because 
 I liked to hear the organ and occasionally to play it 
 myself. 
 
 When I was about 14 years of age, I applied, in 
 conformity with the laws of the state, for being con- 
 firmed. Confirmation is the act which allowed the 
 scholars of the common schools to leave off going to 
 school, and 14 years, or upward, was the age requisite 
 for being admitted to that religious act. 
 
 According to the law, we had previously to go to 
 the minister several times a week, for several months, 
 in order to be instructed in the catechism. This regu- 
 lation was a remnant of a former half-civilized age. 
 When there were no schools, or at best only miserable 
 ones, this regulation might have been very useful and 
 necessary, but when I went through this course, there 
 was not the slightest need of it, and it seemed espe- 
 cially aggravating to us college students thus to lose 
 so many beautiful and valuable hours which we could 
 have spent so much more usefully and pleasantly. 
 
60 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 The day usually appointed for confirmation was the 
 Sunday before Easter, Palm-Sunday. On this day, 
 after due preparation, we were confirmed in the church 
 surrounded by a large crowd of people. Such a con- 
 firmation, on the whole, seemed to fill a church more 
 than anything else ; on such an occasion there was 
 always a large congregation, in churches even that were 
 on other Sundays almost empty. From this, we may 
 infer that the confirmation was considered by old and 
 young as one of the most solemn religious acts. 
 
 After the usual prayers and the singing of hymns, 
 the " Confirmandi " ranged themselves in the aisle, 
 and the minister went through a kind of examination 
 or recapitulation of the instruction during the preced- 
 ing winter, intended to give the scholars an occasion, 
 by their answers to show that they had sufficient reli- 
 gious knowledge. This was followed by an exhorta- 
 tion, in which the minister partly addressed the con- 
 firmandi, partly their parents and other relations, and 
 partly the whole congregation. 
 
 Thereupon the minister took his stand at the altar ; 
 the confirmandi successively came up to him, perhaps 
 in the number of 8 or 10, and knelt round the altar. 
 By giving the right hand to the minister they promised 
 to keep the covenant, if I may thus term the signifi- 
 cance of the rite, which, in other words, is a comple- 
 tion and corollary of baptism, since the " confirmand ,, 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 61 
 
 declares that he now acknowledges the validity of 
 what has been done to him when an infant ; that he 
 now takes upon himself the responsibility which, be- 
 fore, rested upon his sponsors ; that he will try to lead 
 a true Christian life &c. Finally, the minister blessed 
 the confirmandi two by two, laying his hands on their 
 heads, and giving them some cardinal verse from the 
 Scriptures as a guide or as a treasure by which to 
 remember this moment. 
 
 I must, however, confess that I have long ago for- 
 gotten what verse was pronounced over me. By saying 
 this, I do not wish to intimate that this religious act 
 made no impression upon me. On the contrary, I 
 remember very few religious acts that have impressed 
 me so deeply as this one. In the afternoon, a friend 
 of mine and I planted each, in a flower-pot, a rose, 
 which each of us kept for a long time as a token of 
 remembrance. Such a thing I have not done on any 
 other occasion in my whole life. 
 
 What I have to object to this custom, is this : it 
 ought not to be subjected to law, but ought to be the 
 result of an inward necessity and of a person's free- 
 will. 
 
 Then the period of life appointed for it, was not the 
 right one. I do not think I was old enough fully to 
 realize the importance and significance of the act, 
 and I am sure there was not one out of a hundred 
 
62 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 who was at that age more able than I, to comprehend 
 the meaning of the act, to meditate on its consequences 
 and to form resolutions adequate to the circumstances. 
 Moreover, the thing has its dangers. Besides the 
 many who go thoughtlessly through such a ceremony, 
 and who consequently desecrate a solemn rite, there 
 are thousands who knowingly and intentionally do not 
 keep their promises, and swear thus a false oath before 
 their God. 
 
 My opinion, therefore, is that it is best not to have 
 any such ceremony at all, and to leave such declarations, 
 promises and resolutions to each individual, as a pri- 
 vate affair between him and his God. Still, if some 
 one should say that the generality of Christians need 
 some outward signs and forms, I would answer him, 
 that I consider the baptism of adults alone by far 
 superior to infant baptism combined with its completion 
 — compulsory and universal confirmation. 
 
 With us, the confirmation had a great influence up- 
 on a person's social relations ; directly after it every 
 one was admitted on an equal footing to the different 
 relations and branches of the life of adults. As to 
 religion, that act was followed by the first admission 
 to the communion-table which was again one of the 
 most important events of one's whole life. The 
 Thursday after Palm-Sunday (Maundy-Thursday) was 
 the day appointed for this act. The Germans call 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 63 
 
 that day Green-Thursday, because the ancient Jews 
 on that day ate their passover with green herbs. 
 
 The young Christian usually went to the first com- 
 m union together with his parents, sisters, brothers and 
 friends. This made it the more solemn. And one 
 other thing among the Lutheran ordinances, I con- 
 sidered to be especially useful. When they, after the 
 reformation, abolished the auricular confession which 
 is still kept up among the Catholics, a general public 
 confession was instituted in its stead. That is, all 
 those who wished on a certain day to go to communion, 
 met on the preceding day at the church. Here the 
 minister addressed them in such words as mi^ht be 
 calculated to lead his hearers to a rigid self-examina- 
 tion &c, so as to approach the communion-table on the 
 following day with a contrite heart, with a humble 
 mind and with good and strong resolutions. But it 
 was a pity that in many places a custom was connected 
 with this beneficial preparatory act which seemed to 
 me entirely to spoil the effect of the latter. 
 
 I went once to such a meeting in a strange place, and 
 with all the others who intended to go to the commu- 
 nion, I stood before the altar listening to the minister's 
 address. "When he had finished, he turned round and 
 laid his head upon the altar as if he was praying. 
 At the same time the file of communicants beo*an 
 to move, and walked in procession around the altar. 
 
64 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 I did not join the ranks and stood looking on in utter 
 amazement. Soon, however, the mystery was solved. 
 When the leader of the procession appeared again on 
 the other side of the altar, he deposited there a piece 
 of money, and all the others followed his example. 
 They payed for their communion, and the minister 
 depended for a part of his income upon the money 
 thus raised. 
 
 About the first communion, I must repeat what I 
 said about confirmation. For the same reasons it 
 ought not to be such a general thing, and young people 
 of 14 years rarely ought to be admitted to it. I do 
 not recollect whether on that day I really had already 
 investigated the doctrine of the sacrament of com- 
 munion ; if I had, I could not well have joined in the 
 communion with sincerity and in good faith. At least, 
 I do not recollect ever to have consciously believed in 
 the Lutheran doctrine of co-substantiation, and much 
 less, therefore, in the Catholic doctrine of transub- 
 stantiation. How any sane human mind ever could 
 believe the latter, has always been a mystery to me< 
 But even the Lutheran belief of " receiving Christ's 
 body in, with and by the bread " does not seem to me 
 much more comprehensible and acceptable than the 
 former. I know, ever since I had a belief of my own, 
 I looked upon communion as a mere symbolical rite — 
 according to the creed of the Eeformed Church. I 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 65 
 
 only went once, or twice again to communion, and that 
 only, for the sake of yielding to my parents' wishes ; 
 afterwards my conscience would not have allowed me 
 even tacitly and practically to assent to the Lutheran 
 doctrine of co-substantiation. 
 
 At present I should hardly feel able with sincerity 
 to join in communion with Christians of any denomi- 
 nation, at least if they call communion a sacrament. 
 
 First, I consider it to he of the greatest importance 
 that we should look upon tenets and forms, in the 
 true light and spirit of the Christian religion which 
 is expressed in Christ's words, " the true worshippers 
 shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth.' ' 
 The Christian religion is pre-eminently a spiritual 
 and inward religion, and does not depend upon forms 
 or types. The less it is alloyed with the latter, the 
 nobler and purer it is. And that sincere and pure 
 Christianity can and does exist independent of forms, 
 we see verified in the lives of many pious Quakers. 
 
 The Quakers have discontinued the rite of com- 
 munion. Among other things which justify them in 
 doing so, they adduce the following. On the same 
 occasion, when Christ broke the bread, he also washed 
 the disciples' feet, and insisted very earnestly upon 
 their doing to each other the same. Now, if all 
 Christian sects agree in explaining this act as a sym- 
 bolical one, and construe the injunction in a figurative 
 5 
 
G6 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 sense, why should not the other act of breaking bread 
 be explained in the same way, since it is not any more 
 plainly and solemnly performed than the former? 
 
 But even if we would grant that Christ meant to 
 institute a religious rite, which T verily believe he did 
 not mean to do — even then, it would not follow that 
 this rite ought to be performed in the mode it is per- 
 formed, or rather I ought to say, in any of the various 
 modes in which it is performed. The members of one 
 denomination believe they really eat the body and 
 drink the blood of Christ (what a shocking idea this 
 must seem to an intelligent " outsider 99 who thinks 
 of anthropophagi as only living on some islands in 
 the Pacific Ocean. ) 
 
 The members of another denomination believe they 
 mystically eat the body and drink the blood of Christ, 
 and others have various other, more or less exalted, 
 ideas of the Lord's supper. 
 
 Not only the doctrine, but also the rite itself varies 
 much. Some say the priest only, must perform the 
 rite. Others consider it necessary that the laity should 
 eat the bread. Some refuse the lay members the wine, 
 some insist upon giving it. Some consider it necessary 
 to give the bread in the shape of wafers, others give 
 pieces of common household bread. Some are of the 
 opinion that wax-candles must burn during the per- 
 formance, others are opposed to it. Some think the 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. G7 
 
 communicants ought to kneel around the altar ; others 
 think they may remain in their pews. 
 
 Surely, if we contemplate all this, and if we then 
 study the history of the Christian Church, we are 
 tempted to agree with an Author (a Quaker) who 
 says, " These ordinances which have been the cause 
 of endless divisions and contentions and persecutions, 
 cannot truly appertain to the law of God." 
 
 I must repeat, if Christ meant to institute a reli- 
 gious rite, he did not mean to institute such a sacra- 
 ment as the Church has made of it. His command 
 ought to he explained either as referring merely to 
 the annual passover, or to an act more universal and 
 common than the rite of communion. The example 
 of the disciples and of the first Christian society shows 
 that they put the latter construction upon it. 
 
 Still, though I believe the best Christians to be those 
 who are pious and good without depending upon the 
 rite of communion either for moral strength, or for 
 humility towards God, or for love to Christ, I grant 
 there are many Christians who are really benefited by 
 partaking of the Lord's supper, and we ought to admit 
 that those who cannot do without forms, are justified 
 in continuing the rite of communion. 
 
 We would only insist upon one thing. It is un- 
 worthy of an enlightened age, country and religious 
 society, that any one should look upon communion as 
 
63 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 anything more than a useful, symbolical rite. Nobody 
 ouo-ht to believe that the mere act should insure re- 
 demption, cleanse from all sins and open the gates of 
 heaven. Much less ought it to be relied upon as an 
 indulgence and as a pretext for deviations from the 
 right path, at other times. In Germany I once knew 
 a man who went one Sunday to communion, and the 
 following Sunday a poaching. I fear, that He who 
 reads clearly the history of every human life and 
 heart, finds many such sad contrasts and inconsistencies. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 69 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 V YOUTH. 
 
 Though confirmation and first communion, as I have 
 ohserved, admitted hoys and girls into the ranks of 
 grown persons, still they had not so much apparent 
 influence upon the outward life of us, college students, 
 since we had a rank of our own, which was graduated 
 according to the class we "belonged to. 
 
 The following year I was in a class where we had a 
 teacher upon whom I look as on a mystery, even at 
 the present day, after having had myself so much ex- 
 perience as a teacher. He was less capahle than any 
 other teacher I have ever seen, to govern, and morally 
 or intellectually to improve his class. He was intelli- 
 gent ; at least I do not think that any scholar ever 
 suspected him of not "being master of the subject he 
 taught. He was not negligent, for he performed his 
 duties as regularly, and carefully, as any of the other 
 teachers. We all gave him the credit of being a very 
 good man ; yea, we believed him to be strictly a pious, 
 a religious person. He had been a settled minister, 
 before he was appointed as our teacher, and we knew 
 that he had been a less worldly-minded minister, than 
 any other in the whole neighborhood. And still, he 
 
70 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 kept no discipline. It is incredible what liberties the 
 scholars took, what pranks and tricks, what mischief 
 and wickedness were practised in his classes. 
 
 Tn later years, I have often thought, and tried to 
 find out, what could have been the reason, that he 
 failed just where some others, an hour before, or after, 
 kept the most admirable discipline. I have never been 
 able to find a fully satisfactory explanation. He was 
 usually too impassive, too weak, or " too good"; he 
 allowed many things to pass a long time unnoticed, 
 but at long intervals he happened to be roused, and 
 then he became so passionate, that he lost all control 
 over himself. Once I noticed that his mouth foamed, 
 and even such scenes were rather a source of sport 
 for the scholars. If I recollect rightly, he once fell 
 upon his knees and prayed, but also without effect. 
 Whether his want of strength, and of the right degree 
 of equanimity explains all this, I do not know. I can 
 only surmise one other cause, which is the secret 
 reason of many failures in teaching, and in education 
 generally, viz., want of disinterested love towards the 
 single scholars ; but I have no right to accuse this 
 teacher of such a want ; on the contrary I owe him 
 much gratitude for private lessons which he gave me 
 gratuitously. 
 
 It will be easily comprehended, that religious in- 
 struction from such a man, could have no good effect 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 71 
 
 on us. I can picture hira to myself as standing before 
 us, with the beautiful book " Charity, Faith, and 
 Hope " of Draeseke in his hand, but I have no recollec- 
 tion of what he said ; I remember much better that 
 one of the students used to make all sorts of sport 
 during the lessons, of a picture of Christ, which was 
 in his book. 
 
 I remained only one year after my confirmation, in 
 this class ; at that time I left the college entirely. 
 My father had sent me there, wishing and expecting 
 that I should study divinity. For the sake of doing 
 this, I should have been obliged to remain two, or 
 three years longer at college, and then to go for three 
 years to the university. Although my father had not 
 the means of letting me go through such a course of 
 studies, still I could have done so ; the college was 
 richly endowed, and was able always to assist several 
 students throughout their stay at college and at the 
 university. Sometime before I left, one " stipendium " 
 was at the disposal of the consistory, and it was offered 
 to me. 
 
 Though my teachers wished me to accept it, though 
 it was my father's desire, one day to see me in the 
 pulpit, still I could not make up my mind to enter 
 upon the course proposed. I cannot say that I had 
 any weighty reasons for shunning the study of divinity, 
 nor do I recollect that my father required me to give 
 
72 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 any. When he saw me reluctant to remain at college, 
 he did not urge me any further ; he was probahly 
 wise enough to know that a youth ought not to he 
 forced into any vocation against his will. 
 
 I have never yet regreted my perseverance, or my 
 father's indulgence in this case. There is much pre- 
 judice in Germany concerning the standing which a 
 stay at the university gives. I say a stay, and not an 
 education, for the college gives the entire, regular and 
 general education. The university gives freedom. 
 Some, therefore, learn there merely what is necessary 
 in their profession; some learn what they just happen 
 to fancy ; others learn hardly anything at all except 
 fencing, drinking beer &c. 
 
 The usual course at the university of studying, or 
 of neglecting studies, or of misapplying study, is 
 particularly very little calculated to produce pious 
 and practical ministers, and this is one of the reasons 
 why Germany, especially Protestant Germany, has so 
 few good, practical and efficient ministers. 
 
 I have, therefore, often been led to think that a 
 regular course of the prescribed studies would have 
 made of me a minister of as little worth as so many 
 others, and I rejoice in having been preserved from 
 this fate. Otherwise I might have had reasons to 
 regret my course of action, at least as long as I lived 
 in Germany ; for as I said, the bare fact of having 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 73 
 
 been at the university procures many worldly privi- 
 leges, some of which another person never can enjoy. 
 And those even that he can reach, he has to conquer 
 by great perseverance, or extraordinary qualities and 
 attainments. 
 
 I left college with the intention of preparing my- 
 self in the regular and established way, at the Teach- 
 ers' Seminary of the State, for the profession of 
 teaching. At this institution they received new 
 students only once every two years, and in expectation 
 of such a new term I spent an intervening space of 
 six months at home. Once or twice every week I 
 went to town to take private lessons from my former 
 teachers ; on the other week days, I made some at- 
 tempts at teaching under my father's guidance. On 
 Sundays I went to church, but more for the sake of 
 playing the organ, than from any other motive. 
 
 The time I spent subsequently at the Teachers' 
 Seminary was one of the most influential periods of 
 my life, as far as my religious education is concerned. 
 Just as in all the other branches, our religious in- 
 struction had two aims ; the one to develop us individ- 
 ually for our own sake ; the other to impart to us, or 
 to develop in us all the sentiments, knowledge and 
 skill that would enable us to be good teachers. 
 
 We had one teacher of religion who was not a 
 minister and who taught us only the methodical part 
 
74 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 of religious instruction, i. e. the way of forming the 
 plan of a catichization ; the way of forming good 
 questions, of making the right use of a scholar's 
 answer, of adapting the right words to the different 
 subjects, times, scholars &c. &c. 
 
 A second teacher (he was one of the grandduke's 
 chaplains) seemed to me to be appointed to teach 
 us religion, for the sake of making us religious. If 
 he was, he missed his aim, or rather was faithless to 
 his task, because he gave us all the impression (by his 
 yawning, by his listless behavior and attitude &c.) 
 that he was not with heart and soul engaged in his 
 business. So it could not but be a failure. 
 
 A third teacher (he was also court chaplain and the 
 director of our Seminary) taught us Bible and ecclesi- 
 astical history. He was seriously engaged in what he 
 taught, and had, therefore, a decided influence upon 
 all of us. According to the bent of mind of the dif- 
 ferent students he made some very orthodox, and some 
 perhaps more heterodox than they would have been 
 without his teaching. He himself was a very orthodox 
 Lutheran. He believed and taught that the Mosaic 
 account of the Creation, of its six days, &c, were to 
 be understood literally ; he believed that Moses had 
 known more of natural sciences, than we moderns, 
 and was, therefore, right in saying that God created 
 the light on the first day, but the sun, moon, and star:; 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 75 
 
 on the fourth day, (the light being a substance in- 
 dependent of the heavenly bodies.) He taught us 
 that Balaam's ass really had spoken ; that the sun 
 really had stood still to give Joshua time to fight his 
 battle, which fact, he said, was corroborated by Chinese 
 records. 
 
 These few instances will be sufficient to give an 
 idea of the spirit in which this teacher tried to influence 
 us. He did not carry me the whole length of his 
 views. On the contrary, he awakened in me the 
 spirit of investigation and of doubt, if it had not been 
 awake before. I do not think that I was conscious at, 
 or before that time, of wishing to avoid all error, 
 superstition, and hypocrisy, and I am sure I did not 
 wish to throw off the imaginary, or real yoke of a 
 certain creed, or sect. But a spontaneous impulse, or 
 various influences led me to take my own views. 
 
 I recollect, one day while walking with a friend, I 
 said that " Father, Son, and Holy Ghost," certainly 
 were only three different names for three different 
 activities or influences of one single being. My friend 
 thought he agreed with me, but he would not like to 
 hear me say the same thing in the presence of our 
 teachers who did not think so. At that time, I had 
 never heard of the distinction between Unitarians and 
 Trinitarians, but my mind proved thus to have a 
 direction even then, which would not make it doubtful 
 
76 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 which of the two parties I should prefer in later years. 
 
 Our fourth teacher of religion was the general 
 Superintendent of the churches and schools, and as 
 such the supervisor of our Seminary. 
 
 He was a rationalist, and prohahly from fear that 
 we might be too much under opposite influences he 
 undertook to instruct us — nominally in catechetics, 
 hut effectually in anything he just happened to hit 
 upon. He engaged us in dialogues on theological 
 subjects, on education, on fine arts, &c. &c, and his 
 mode of instruction was most captivating and effective ; 
 he knew how to make us think and speak. His lessons 
 always seemed to be too short, too few, and too far 
 between. 
 
 In a model school which was connected with the 
 Seminary, we made, one after the other, attempts at 
 giving religious and other instruction, and derived 
 great benefit from the advice, hints, and criticisms of 
 our teachers, who were present during these exercises. 
 In tbe Seminary, we had regular morning and evening 
 devotions, and a part of our musical instruction was 
 dedicated to the singing of hymns in four parts. The 
 latter I recollect, made sometimes really a solemn 
 impression on my mind. 
 
 On Sundays we were obliged to go once to church. 
 The city (Oldenburg) contained only one Lutheran 
 church, though almost all its eight thousand inhabi- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 77 
 
 tants were Lutherans. There were two services in the 
 morning, and one in the afternoon. The sixty students 
 of the Seminary were divided into four divisions. 
 These had to go alternately, one to the first, two to 
 the second, and one to the third service — avowedly for 
 the purpose of leading the singing. 
 
 In order to complete my sketch of the religious in- 
 fluences of this period of my life, I must add one 
 thing, which will tend to prove that we are all more 
 or less the children of our time, of our country, and 
 of chance. We students at the Seminary whose every 
 movement was ordered and regulated by one of the 
 most orthodox and pious ministers of the country — we 
 were allowed now and then to go to the theatre on 
 Sundays, but on no other evening in the week. 
 
 After a stay of eighteen months, I was permitted to 
 leave the Seminary, and to accept the situation of 
 private tutor in the family of a civil officer who was 
 chief magistrate, or judge in the most southern county 
 of the State. The inhabitants of this portion of the 
 state were all Catholics ; only the family with which I 
 was to live, and a few other persons were Protestants. 
 
 I sent my baggage to my place of destination, and 
 set out alone to travel the distance of sixty miles on 
 foot. Towards the close of the first day, I had to 
 traverse a heath, where there were no houses and hard- 
 ly any trees in sight, on either side of the turnpike. 
 
78 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 In the midst of this heath, at some distance from the 
 turnpike, one sees a large number of enormous unhewn 
 stones placed in two rows. The legend calls them the 
 Bride of Visbeck. 
 
 It is told that a young lady in the parish of Visbeck 
 was urged by her parents to marry a young man whom 
 she did not like. She declined, remonstrated, refused, 
 but all in vain ; her parents insisted upon it. The 
 day for the wedding was appointed ; the bridegroom 
 and the guests repaired to the bride's house ; the bride, 
 though she declared she would rather be turned into 
 stone, than to be married to that unwelcome lover, 
 was dressed in bridal attire ; a procession was formed, 
 and the whole company set out to walk, two by two, 
 to the church. But lo ! on their way the bride's wish 
 was fulfilled ; all at once the whole company were 
 turned into stone ; and there they stand now, for cen- 
 turies, just as their fate overtook them. 
 
 The fact is, one finds here and there in that region 
 several similar collections of stones, and sometimes 
 there are several large stones in the midst between the 
 others, arranged as if they were intended to form a 
 rude altar. Historians affirm that here the ancient 
 Germans held their assemblies, and performed their 
 sacrifices in accordance with the description Tacitus and 
 later writers give of them. 
 
 Without taking these historical recollections into 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 79 
 
 consideration, one is apt to be peculiarly affected by 
 the appearance of such a large heath as I then 
 crossed ; and as I, moreover, was somewhat excited by 
 the expectation of what I knew to be before me, this 
 lonely walk of about six miles over the heath, is one 
 of the most interesting among the recollections of the 
 many excursions and rambles I have enjoyed, during 
 my life, as a pedestrian. 
 
 When I emerged from this solitary waste, I was in 
 a Catholic country. Near the first village I saw a 
 crucifix on the road side. 
 
 I knew from books how much reverence the Catho- 
 lics showed to these images, which are not only found 
 in the churches, and in small chapels outside of towns 
 and villages, but are also erected by private persons 
 anywhere, on the road side, or in the midst of their 
 fields. I did not know whether it was safe for a stran- 
 ger to deviate from the usual custom of making a cross, 
 or of taking off one's hat ; still my feelings revolted 
 against such an act of homage to an image. I looked 
 shyly around, and when I saw no one near enough to 
 notice me, I followed my inclination and passed by 
 " straight as an arrow." 
 
 This first success gave me courage, and I did not 
 comply with the custom mentioned. I found afterwards 
 that my Catholic friends and acquaintances, at least, 
 did not expect me to do as they did ; except perhaps to 
 
80 
 
 THE PROBLEM OE LIFE, OH 
 
 take off my hat, when passing a funeral, or one of the 
 grand processions that marched on certain holy days 
 through the streets hehind the host, which was carried 
 in pomp by priests walking under a baldachin. 
 
 Such an expectation I found reasonable, especially 
 if I put myself into the way of such things. Then 
 and ever since, I have considered it my duty, if possi- 
 ble, not to hurt any one's feelings, or to disturb his 
 devotions by not complying with the established forms 
 and rites. If it was my own free will, perhaps even 
 mere curiosity, that led me to be present at other peo- 
 ple's religious performances, I thought they had a 
 right, either to make me comply with their customs, 
 or to expel me. If I was forced by circumstances to 
 be present at such performances, I thought it was lau- 
 dable to behave like the rest, if I did so without being 
 guilty of hypocrisy, i. e. if I did not wish from selfish 
 motives to appear pious, but wished not to give offence, 
 or to be injurious to children, or to grown persons of a 
 childlike faith. I have, therefore, with a pure con- 
 science knelt as well at that time in Catholic churches, 
 as in later years during public and private devotions 
 of Episcopalians. 
 
 About six miles from my new residence there was a 
 small Protestant congregation. I sometimes went 
 over, induced by a feeling of equality, to pay a visit to 
 their teacher, and several times I also stopped at the 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 81 
 
 minister's house. The latter and his wife were both 
 from the same part of the state wmere I came from. 
 If I may say so, they did not feel much at home in 
 this oasis in a large Catholic desert, and they felt the 
 need of communing with congenial and kindred spirits. 
 They received me, therefore, always very kindly, and 
 we had many a pleasant conversation which naturally 
 often turned upon the difference between Catholicism 
 and Protestantism. 
 
 The Protestants and Catholics of this village made 
 use of the same church. The latter who were the more 
 numerous, used it Sunday mornings before eleven 
 o'clock, and in the evening. The former held their 
 service a little before noon, and contented themselves 
 with a little, very modest looking altar which was erect- 
 ed at some distance from the more splendid Catholic 
 altar. 
 
 On the whole, I did not go over very often to attend 
 this Protestant worship. I went more frequently to 
 the Catholic church of the place where I resided. Here 
 I found the services for several reasons much more at- 
 tractive. It is true, up to this time my life had been 
 a very happy one, but it had rather lacked an element 
 which I might call a combination of beauty, poetry, 
 romance and sensualism. 
 
 I had been born and raised in a fertile region where 
 the fields showed for a few summer months, the most 
 6 
 
82 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 exuberant beauty of plenty and utility, but nothing 
 else. I had never seen a hill, had never seen during 
 my childhood a collection of trees larger than an or- 
 chard. I had been a few times on the sea-shore, but 
 had never seen any fresh water except in ditches and 
 sluggish canals. My education had been plain, though 
 in no wise puritanical. The religious ceremonies and 
 other such things that I had witnessed, were not calcu- 
 lated to develop the element I have spoken of. Almost 
 all the inhabitants of that region bore in their char- 
 acter, temperament, customs and usages the impress 
 of their climate, soil, institutions &c. 
 
 It is true, I had been under the influence of some 
 circumstances which could not fail to develop the im- 
 agination and an appreciating sense of the beautiful. 
 In my childhood my mind had been nourished with 
 fairy tales which are certainly, though untrue, yet ad- 
 missible and even useful if they do not inculcate really 
 superstitious and irreligious views and sentiments. 
 When I was about eleven years old, there came a re- 
 spectable troop of actors into our place. Some of the 
 members were admitted into private society, and some 
 private persons assisted them as amateurs to perform 
 large pieces. The directress obtained from my parents 
 the permission for me to take some appropriate part 
 of some plays. I desired nothing more than this, and 
 entered into it with great enthusiasm. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 83 
 
 I was thus made familiar with the stage and with 
 dramatic poetry, and was led to read the whole of 
 Schiller's works in a very short time. This I suppose 
 was the cause of my taking it into my head at the 
 age of fourteen years, to write a tragedy in four acts 
 for a school exercise. My teacher declared it to be a 
 very successful attempt, except " in the love scenes." 
 
 Moreover, I had seen a few castles, the remnants of 
 feudal times which led my mind to the contemplation 
 of the middle ages, so full of chivalry and romance. 
 In the town where I went to college, there was a castle 
 with a tower 180 feet high and over 600 years old. 
 saw near it the entrance of a subterranean passage 
 which was said to lead one for 4 miles below the ground. 
 But nobody attempted to verify it. About this as 
 about other similar things there were wonderful stories 
 afloat. In spite of all such things, however, I think 
 I was surrounded in my younger years more by pro- 
 saic than by poetic influences. 
 
 Now all at once I was transported into a region 
 where the landscape was beautifully varied. I could 
 sit in the shades of a grove, could muse on the banks 
 of a murmuring brook, could wander through lovely 
 vales and climb on hills which seemed to me immensely 
 high, could look out upon a distant lake and beyond 
 upon a beautiful mountain range, could gather, exam- 
 ine and admire flowers which I had never seen before, 
 
84 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 could at night, for the first time in my life, listen to 
 the sweet and melancholy sounds of the nightingale, 
 which sang below my window in the garden, and very 
 soon I could satisfy the longing which the aspect of 
 the distant mountains awakened in me. 
 
 During a pedestrian excursion, I visited, among 
 others, the ancient cities of Osnabruck and Minden, 
 and saw the Porta Westphalica, one of the most beau- 
 tiful mountain sceneries in Germany, formed around 
 the Weser which flows here at right angles through a 
 gap in the mountain range. I recollect I said in a 
 description of this journey : If an atheist should 
 stand on this mountain top and look upon the land- 
 scape around him, I think he would bend his knee in 
 adoration., and confess there is a God, there must be a 
 God who made this great, beautiful and wonderful 
 globe. 
 
 The people with whom I associated about this time, 
 were under the influence of a different religion, climate 
 and soil, and seemed to me less cold, prosaic, material 
 and matter of fact than those of my native province. 
 
 I felt that this change had a great effect on me, and 
 the more so, because I had attained just that age, 
 (about 17 years) when a person must be influenced by 
 such a change if he is susceptible at all. I know I 
 have been visionary enough at different times of my 
 life, but never very poetic and romantic. Still if ever 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 85 
 
 a spark of such a quality appeared in my life, it must 
 have been at this time. And really it never was more 
 perceptible than at this period. 
 
 I liked, therefore> to attend the Catholic church. I 
 liked to look upon the large congregation which 
 thronged the spacious edifice, and filled every corner 
 and passage. I liked to hear the solemn chanting of 
 the priest if he had " music in him I liked to see the 
 thousands of people kneel in apparent humility, at a 
 given sign ; I liked the momentary deep silence during 
 the offering of the host, interrupted now and then by 
 the clear sound of the bell, while burning incense 
 seemed to transport one into another sphere ; I liked 
 to hear the strains of sacred song arising in unison 
 from thousands of voices. Especially did I like during 
 passion week to go to church in the evening, to seat 
 myself in a corner of the unilluminated edifice, to see 
 the priest and a dozen of acolytes approach the altar, 
 to hear the latter sing a Latin hymn,, and to see them 
 kneel around the altar, dressed in white robes, and 
 burning wax candles in their hands. 
 
 Truly there is a certain stage of development, a 
 certain state of the mind and heart to which the Cath- 
 olic service is admirably adapted. I did not wonder, 
 therefore, that my pupils liked to go to the Catholic 
 church, nor did I ever try to dissuade them from ac- 
 companying me. On the whole I liked the country, 
 
86 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 the people, and many of their customs and institutions 
 so much that the time I spent there, was one of the 
 happiest periods of my life, and that I should have 
 liked to prolong it, perhaps to the end of my days. 
 
 Nevertheless I can say that I never was tempted to 
 become a Catholic. My mind was too far developed to 
 be made a captive by appearances. Though at that 
 time the Catholic forms might seem to be congenial 
 to me, still, I could not accept them connected with 
 and inseparable from such monstrous superstition as I 
 knew the Catholic creed embodied and enforced. On 
 the contrary, by observation, meditation, arguments, 
 and occasional conversation with priests and laymen, 
 my protestant views became clearer, more decided and 
 deeply rooted. 
 
 Catholicism is for an enlightened and well disposed 
 mind, a sad subject to dwell upon. Without doubt it 
 has a good and salutary element within it. I cannot 
 help thinking that God would not have allowed it to 
 exist so many centuries, and still to extend over the 
 greater part of Christian lands, if it did not serve some 
 great end in the development of the human race ; I 
 am almost inclined to say, if it was not in itself wor- 
 thy to exist. Surely it has aided millions of human 
 beings to lead a pious and useful life, and to die in 
 peace with God, with the world, and with themselves. 
 And if these millions were guided and comforted by 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 87 
 
 a delusive and superstitious faith, what right have we 
 to take exception at it ? The only condemnable idola- 
 try, as Carlyle says, is insincere idolatry. 
 
 On the other hand, if we read the history of the 
 church and see what cruelties and crimes Catholicism 
 is guilty of ; if we examine the present spiritual, social 
 and political condition of the Catholic nations on the 
 earth ; if we consider what dangerous, incredible and 
 monstrous things the Catholic church forces individuals 
 to believe and to practise (transubstantiation, purga- 
 tory, indulgences, and remission, celibacy &c.) — really 
 we cannot help feeling sad at the existence of Cathol- 
 icism. If it could be purged of its enormities so that 
 a priest could be, at the same time, a priest and a think- 
 ing and sincerely pious man ; so that a layman could 
 be a good Catholic and a sincere, divinely rational 
 being ; then I should say, let Catholicism exist until 
 the end of the world as the best religion for children, 
 and for adults in the lowest stage of spiritual develop- 
 ment. But if Catholicism pretends that it is right 
 and perfect, as it now exists ; if it fears to fall as soon 
 as it changes one iota of its tenets ; then I should wish 
 it would fall as soon as possible, and be swept from 
 the earth and out of man's recollection. 
 
 After having resided about eighteen months in 
 the midst of . a Catholic community, I applied to 
 the director of the Seminary for another situation. 
 
83 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 The government did not usually furnish private fami- 
 lies with teachers, and I had only been excused from 
 teaching in the schools of the State, principally on 
 account of my health. Since the latter now allowed 
 me to teach larger classes, I considered it my duty to 
 enter into the public service for which I had been 
 educated. I was sent to a hamlet where the services 
 of a teacher were only needed for the winter. 
 
 My new situation seemed to be destined exactly to 
 force me into continuing my meditations and obser- 
 vations on the various religious sects. The place was 
 situated just on the confines of the catholic and prot- 
 estant sections of the State. One or two miles towards 
 the west, there was a village in which a protestant, 
 and a catholic teacher resided. I walked over once 
 or twice every week, and met these two colleagues 
 with whom I spent my time very profitably. 
 
 On Sundays I sometimes went to a village situated 
 five miles south of us. There I met with a most 
 remarkable fact : the Catholics and Protestants used 
 the same church, together, and at the same time. 
 The services were opened by the first part of the 
 mass ; thereupon the Protestants sang a hymn, which 
 was selected by their school-teacher (for they had no 
 minister of their own) ; then the mass was continued, 
 and after the Protestants had again sung one of their 
 hymns, the priest finished the mass, and finally 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 89 
 
 preached a sermon to both parties together. What I 
 heard there, was quite reasonable, and on the whole, 
 the parties got along quite well together, at that time, 
 though there had been occasional disputes and scuffles, 
 even in the church itself. 
 
 On other Sundays I went to the church of our 
 parish, situated four miles north of our hamlet. 
 There I spent some delightful clays. The teacher (at 
 the same time organist) with whom I associated, was 
 one of the most genial persons I ever met with. 1 
 often remained over night at his house ; we read and 
 conversed much together, and became very familiar, 
 and I think useful to each other. I never shall forget 
 one remark he happened to make to me. I wish and 
 hope, said he, that you sometime will become very 
 unhappy. His wish has been fulfilled, and I have 
 often thought whether my fate produced the effect 
 which I supposed he hoped from it. 
 
 My attendance at public worship I recollect to have 
 been sometimes not entirely without effect. My 
 friend had a great talent for music, and he played the 
 organ in an edifying style. The minister preached 
 better than most of those that I had heard before. 
 He was a learned man, and I received some useful 
 information from him in private conversation. He 
 was the first minister whom I heard venturing to say, 
 for instance, that the Mosaic account of the Creation 
 
90 
 
 TIIE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 ought not to be explained literally ; that the word 
 "deluge" was not " siindfluth (a flood to punish 
 sins, a universal flood) but " sindfluth " (derived from 
 the Syrian, or some other oriental language and 
 merely signifying a large flood.) 
 
 The remainder of my leisure time during this 
 winter I spent in close study and in solitary walks ; 
 on the whole, I think very beneficially. A journal 
 which I began to keep, gave at least a slight evidence 
 of thought and general development. 
 
 In this situation as well as in the preceding and in 
 several succeeding ones, my attention was particularly 
 directed to the investigation of religious subjects, and 
 I studied very carefully several commentaries of the 
 Bible, and other practical and theoretical works on 
 religion. I did this not from any inward necessity, 
 or inclination to piety, but merely because it was in- 
 cluded in a careful and conscientious preparation for 
 my daily business. 
 
 In the Spring one of my former teachers at the 
 Seminary who had always taken a great interest in 
 me, induced me again to accept a situation as private 
 tutor. In a town just about half way between my 
 parents' residence and the capital of the State, there 
 was a very wealthy man who intended to let his son, 
 a part of the time, go to a high school, which had been 
 newly established in the place ; he wished, however, 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 91 
 
 to keep a private tutor besides, who might he a com- 
 panion for the boy and try to conquer his very decided 
 dislike against study. 
 
 My patron thought, if I accepted this place, I might 
 become connected with the high-school, which he be- 
 lieved to be the right place for me. I found my new 
 situation in many respects a delightful one. My 
 salary was very liberal ; my accommodations comfort- 
 able, even splendid, and the attendance exceedingly 
 good ; only a small portion of my time seriously 
 occupied ; my access to refined society directly and 
 indirectly facilitated through the family with whom I 
 resided. Still the time I spent there, was one of the 
 most unhappy periods of my life. Several circum- 
 stances combined to deprive me of all peace of mind, 
 and where that is wanting, it would seem to me im- 
 possible ever to be happy through fortunate outward 
 circumstances. 
 
 First, I did not succeed in making my pupil like 
 his studies. I tried hard enough to teach him, but 
 my character was not calculated to attract him, and 
 to carry him along with me, through liveliness, mirth 
 and childlike simplicity, nor could I subdue the boy 
 into passive obedience and willingness, through stern- 
 ness, firmness, and manly superiority. Several years 
 afterwards, when I resided in another town, this pupil 
 of mine called on me, and his behavior showed that 
 
'92 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 he wished me well and had learned to appreciate what 
 I had tried to do for him. But while I was his teacher, 
 our relation became less and less satisfactory. 
 
 Secondly, it was every teacher's duty to show his 
 appointment to the minister of the place, in which he 
 was to reside. The minister was ex officio the inspector 
 of his school, and to the minister he was, for several 
 years, obliged every three months to show an essay 
 of his own. Now with the church of this town, there 
 were connected two ministers. 
 
 Unfortunately my employer introduced me to the 
 second, and not to the first. The former was a genial 
 person, and with him I remained on good terms, 
 though I wrote occasionally a few things in my essays 
 which he did not like. The latter, however, was a 
 cold, domineering man, and could not brook the slight- 
 est sign of neglect, or of independence. Moreover, 
 I suspect he knew about my wish of being connected 
 with the high school which was under his direction ; 
 incautiously I had spoken of it to a protege of his, 
 who unexpectedly feared me as a rival. 
 
 With the good intention of making up for former 
 neglect, and of originating at the same time a good 
 work, I had handed to this minister one of my essays, 
 about Sunday schools for apprentices. But instead of 
 accepting and viewing it kindly, he tried to use it as 
 a means of crushing me. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 93 
 
 He impeached my motives for writing it ; put a 
 wrong construction on some parts of it ; on the whole 
 criticised it in the hitterest and most malicious way. 
 This criticism did me good, because it roused me to a 
 deeper investigation of the disputed points and' to the 
 writing of a replication, and gave me more firmness, 
 independence and prudence. On the other hand, 
 however, it caused me great sorrow, about being mis- 
 understood, and I fear it also raised in me the spirit 
 of bitter opposition to the unjust and galling yoke of 
 clercial dominion, under which most of the teachers 
 in Germany were chafing with more or less intensity. 
 
 Thirdly, during my sojourn among Catholics the 
 spirit of negation had been fostered in me, and into 
 this direction my mind was turned more decidedly at 
 this time by the reading of Eousseau's Emile. I will 
 not condemn this book for I know how much good it 
 has done in the world. At present I can read it with 
 composure, and pleasure, and without danger. At 
 that time, however, I was too young to comprehend it 
 fully, and I was not in the right state of mind to be 
 benefited by it. 
 
 With books it is as with music, with food, medicine, 
 and many other things ; the same thing does not agree 
 with eve^body. The same thing does not even have 
 at all times the same effect upon the same individual. 
 Eousseau's Emile led me at that time only further 
 
94 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 into doubts about man's destiny, duties and rights, 
 into doubts about his relations to God, and to his 
 fellow-men. 
 
 These and perhaps some other influences all together 
 spurred me on to aspire to higher things, but I hardly 
 think that my feelings deserved a better name than 
 pride, or ambition. I wrote to my father that I could 
 no longer be satisfied with myself and my condition, 
 and asked him, if he could not do more, at least to 
 let me study for a year at Diesterweg's celebrated 
 Seminary in Berlin, or to allow me to come home, and 
 to stay there a year occupied in nothing but studying. 
 My father, however, would not accede to any of my 
 wishes, and desired T might remain in my advantage- 
 ous situation. 
 
 I held out for sometime longer until my state of 
 mind became utterly intolerable to me. I told my 
 employer that I wished to leave, because I thought 
 his son would be benefited by only and fully attending 
 the high school. I was told they were well satisfied 
 with me, and was urged to remain. This gentleman 
 on the whole, always treated me very kindly, as he 
 did everybody else. He seemed to be a very good 
 man, though he never went to church, nor, if I surmise 
 rightly, had any positive religious belief. Several 
 years afterwards he was led into commercial and in- 
 dustrial undertakings, and lost the greater part of 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 95 
 
 his property. He was said then to have attempted 
 suicide, which I lamented very much, since it might 
 prove that in prosperity he had only heen good from 
 habit, or from weakness. 
 
 I persisted in my resolution to give up my situation, 
 and asked my father to apply to the government to 
 appoint me as his assistant teacher, instead of a 
 stranger, who then held that place. My father did 
 so, and thus I returned once more under the parental 
 roof. 
 
96 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OB, 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 EABLY MANHOOD. FIRST PERIOD. 
 
 A considerable change was produced in my mental 
 condition by this change of residence and of outward 
 circumstances. First the renewal of the most inti- 
 mate connection with parents and brothers and sisters 
 could not fail to have a beneficial influence on my 
 mind. It is true, our family ties had never been 
 broken ; but for the last four years I had not been 
 able to visit my parents oftener than every six, twelve 
 or eighteen months, and thus our intercourse had 
 mostly been limited to written communications. 
 
 The possibility of corresponding with relations and 
 friends is perhaps sufficient for a satisfactory intellect- 
 ual relation between mind and mind, but not for a 
 satisfactory intimate relation between heart and heart. 
 The direct heartfelt influence of a loving spirit is not 
 apt to be transmitted by writing ; it needs, as an 
 adequate sphere, the multiplicity, the convenience, 
 the trivialities and conventionalities of common inter- 
 course and every-day life. In accordance with this 
 remark, my stay at home had the tendency to influence 
 me in a salutary way, bringing my troubled soul * 
 nearer to a desirable state of tranquillity and serenity. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 97 
 
 Secondly, my mind derived great advantage from 
 the circumstance, that I had an immense amount of 
 labor to perform. Early in the morning I instructed 
 a younger brother of mine, whom my father, on my 
 return home, had taken away from the burgher-school 
 of the neighboring city. During the day, I acted as 
 my father's assistant, and taught for six (during the 
 Summer for seven) hours, about one half of his one 
 hundred and seventy scholars. And teaching in a 
 public school in Germany is a very, very laborious work, 
 because the prevailing method there requires so much 
 oral instruction and direct exertion of the teacher. 
 In the evening I gave instruction to some private 
 scholars in several higher branches which needed much 
 preparation on my part. 
 
 Besides I was induced to open a gymnasium during 
 a part of the year. The exercises and duties devolv- 
 ing upon me through this institution made a consider- 
 able demand on my time, though on the other hand I 
 acknowledge that I owe to gymnastics, at this, and at 
 other times, the preservation of a sufficient degree of 
 health, perhaps of life itself. 
 
 Furthermore, I wrote some very elaborate essays 
 which I delivered to the minister of the parish, in 
 accordance with the regulation I have spoken of on a 
 former occasion. Now and then I also wrote some 
 articles for periodicals and newspapers, and tried, in 
 
98 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 addition, by reading to remain familiar with the pro- 
 gressive literature of my profession. 
 
 This vast amount of labor, however, did not entirely 
 absorb all my time. I could always eke out some 
 leisure hours. But as I was inclined, induced and 
 obliged to spend these hours in society, I was not 
 tempted to indulge in private and silent meditations, 
 and I must, therefore, adduce sociability as a third 
 cause for my being led into other channels of thought 
 and feeling. I will not decide whether the change 
 was entirely and exclusively for the better. 
 
 I will give the reader a picture of my life at that 
 time, as far as it related to society. This will be 
 partly applicable to German life in general. And, 
 though, of course, allowances must be made on all 
 sides for modulations according to places, times and 
 individuals, still I think the reader will be able to 
 form a somewhat correct idea of the influences for good 
 or bad which German life would seem to have on the 
 religion and morals of individuals. 
 
 My position in the midst of all the people around 
 me, was extremely flattering. Though I was only 21 
 years of age, and though I had been known at home 
 all along, as a boy, and as a youth, still I had not the 
 slightest difficulty in taking my position as a man, 
 and as the equal of the most prominent members of 
 the community. I certainly did not find the saying 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 99 
 
 verified " a prophet is not without honor, save in his 
 own country." My position, however, did not involve 
 me in a regular round and routine of " calls," such as 
 one's social position in any New England village inva- 
 riably requires. At home I never saw people go to 
 other people's houses, because their social duties re- 
 quired them to do so. They usually went either on 
 business, or on invitation. If they did go at any other 
 time, it was in the most unceremonious way, without 
 thinking whether it was " their turn v &c. They went 
 because they felt like it, and stayed as long as they 
 pleased. I had no idea at that time that I should ever 
 go into a house Jfor five or ten minutes merely for the 
 sake of " making a call." 
 
 My parents, the minister, the government's admin- 
 istrator, some merchants, a few of the better class 
 among the farmers, on the whole, the aristocracy of the 
 place, formed by mutual consent a circle of acquaint- 
 ances who invited each other, especially in the winter 
 about the time of beef and hog-killing. As there 
 were no butchers in places like that one, the latter 
 circumstance was an important item. 
 
 The company who had been invited several days 
 beforehand, met at their host's house about 4 o'clock 
 P. M., usually on Sundays. All the ladies and gentle- 
 men were seated around a large table ; they conversed 
 while they enjoyed a cup of coffee and a variety of 
 
100 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 cake. The gentlemen smoked a pipe at the same time. 
 
 About 6 or 7 o'clock the gentlemen were seated at 
 the card table, after having been out perhaps to admire 
 the horses and cattle belonging to the host, which were 
 always kept in fine stables being under the same roof 
 with the dwelling. 
 
 Sometimes one or the other of the ladies might assist 
 in making up the necessary number at a card table, 
 but usually they conversed in the mean time, knitting, 
 eating cakes and fruit and perhaps sipping their wine, 
 while the gentlemen drank theirs. 
 
 About ten o'clock the whole company sat down to a 
 sumptuous supper, consisting of several kinds of meat 
 and a variety of accompanying dishes, and of a suffi- 
 cient supply of wine. After supper the company re- 
 tained their seats, and while engaged in the most lively 
 conversation, they took tea somewhere about midnight, 
 and reached home, thereupon, at or sometime after one 
 o'clock. 
 
 If the fare on such occasions was rather sumptuous, 
 we must not conclude from this that the people usually 
 were high livers. On the contrary, these occasions were 
 only welcome interruptions in the routine of a most 
 simple, frugal and economical domestic life. 
 
 Most of these families were accustomed, on week 
 days to breakfast on coffee and brown bread, to dine 
 on one kind of vegetables and a very small piece of 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 101 
 
 meat, and to sup on boiled buttermilk. It is certainly 
 very desirable to have the facility of procuring ample 
 and luxurious means of sustenance at any time, and 
 every American ought to thank God that there has 
 hardly been a time when a healthy and industrious 
 man, within the limits of this Union, could not make 
 a little more than a comfortable living. Still, it is 
 doubtful whether it is best always to have so good 
 breakfasts and dinners as even the lower classes in this 
 country enjoy, or to be frugal in the main, and to in- 
 dulge one's appetite only at longer or shorter intervals. 
 
 Kabelais says with some truth " mirthfulness comes 
 from the stomach ; " and as dyspepsia, hypochondria, 
 gloominess and despondency are often the consequence 
 of high living, but never of frugality, a joyous temper 
 has much to do with a person's morals and religion. 
 The customs and habits I have mentioned, as well as 
 those I am about to mention, may therefore not be so 
 triflmg and so far out of the range of my present un- 
 dertaking, as they might, at first sight, seem to be. 
 
 A second and very prominent part of our social 
 enjoyments consisted in dancing. The landlords of 
 a few of the hotels and inns in our village and in the 
 surrounding places, arranged during the winter each 
 about four subscription balls, and the landlords of the 
 remaining public houses received permission from the 
 court each to hold at least one ball in the course of 
 
102 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 the season. These balls were only frequented by the 
 so called higher classes of the community, and though 
 these gatherings were not exclusive, still they were 
 not disturbed by any unwelcome intruders. In Ger- 
 many every one seems, so to say, to know his station, 
 and the lower classes do not have the desire to mingle 
 with the higher classes, and to rival with them in show, 
 expenses, modes of enjoyment &c. As a usual thing, 
 every one goes where he knows he finds his equals 
 and where he is welcome. 
 
 The court allowed the landlords on other days, 
 (always on Sundays) to give the farmers' helps and 
 others, an occasion to dance. 
 
 Most of us, young and old, attended balls quite reg- 
 ularly, and many a time we marched for a mile or two 
 across meadows and fields, through mud and rain, 
 through snow-drifts, storm and darkness, after having 
 danced from 8 o'clock in the evening until 3, 4, 5 or 
 6, in the morning. 
 
 During the winter, the roads in our alluvial soil were 
 often impassable, and no one could rely on horses for 
 locomotion ; but even at other times the farmers them- 
 selves and their ladies would walk in preference to 
 riding. Our ladies were as healthy and robust a set 
 of people as I have ever seen anywhere. 
 
 At a ball every young man danced first with his 
 mother and with other elderly female relatives and 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 103 
 
 acquaintances, and afterwards with his younger lady 
 friends. Among the latter it was not really the 
 youngest ones that were most desired as partners. Ger- 
 man girls are not so early developed as American girls, 
 and therefore not so early attractive and not so early 
 considered as equals in the society of grown people. 
 On the other hand, however, young ladies were not in 
 danger of being counted so soon among " old maids." 
 Thus, I think the age between 20 and 25 years was 
 the culminating period of a lady's attractiveness at 
 balls and other such places. 
 
 The fondness for dancing which we find to be preva- 
 lent among the Germans, has several causes, one of 
 which I will mention. Dancing is a necessary institu- 
 tion to produce and facilitate sociability between unmar- 
 ried people. In Germany a married lady is neither 
 under too little, nor too much restraint. The wedding 
 is for her not the event which closes the time " when 
 she could enjoy herself." On the contrary, she can 
 now participate in all that is going on around her, and 
 married and unmarried men pay her now more atten- 
 tion and homage than before. An unmarried lady 
 who is engaged, is also well provided for. As soon as 
 her betrothal is made public (and this is done forthwith 
 by sending cards, merely containing the two names, to 
 all her friends,) and as soon as she and her intended 
 have made the customary round of visits to their 
 
104 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 friends, they can go together to any place of amuse- 
 ment : on the whole, their social intercourse is unre- 
 strained. 
 
 But as for the rest, unmarried ladies in the hotter 
 classes of society are under great restraint. They do 
 not receive calls from young men all to themselves ; 
 they are not invited and would not dare to accept an 
 invitation from a young man to go with him alone to 
 a concert, a hall &c. ; at a party they have to he mod- 
 est, quiet, retiring ; on going home, no one of them 
 is ashed by a young man whether " he shall have the 
 pleasure to see her home." No, on all occasions the 
 mothers and aunts take care of the young ladies, or 
 send a faithful and trusty maid servant after them. 
 
 Under such circumstances, dancing is often the only 
 occasion where the young people can throw off their 
 reserve, and where they can fully enjoy each other's 
 society. No wonder, then, that they should often pro- 
 long their halls almost until the dawn of day. 
 
 No wonder that an occasion for dancing was welcome 
 at any time. The halls I have spoken of, were all held 
 during the winter ; but the summer also brought many 
 occasions for dancing — at fairs, target-shootings &c. 
 
 Even at the present time, with very different views 
 of life, I cannot say that T look back with sorrow upon 
 the many precious hours I have seemingly wasted in 
 dancing. Those occasions might induce many a young 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 105 
 
 man to indulge during the pauses too freely in drink- 
 ing and smoking. And though, on many occasions, I 
 may have entered the schoolroom on such mornings 
 after a hall, wearied in body, yet I recollect I felt 
 enlivened and refreshed in soul and spirit, and was, 
 therefore, working to greater advantage than at other 
 times. The dancing itself and the intercourse with 
 the other sex which it brought about, will ever be 
 remembered by me as a pure, innocent and desirable 
 social enjoyment, and though I know that it is liable 
 to be abused as well as every other good thing, I should 
 not like to condemn it in toto, as a snare of the devil. 
 
 Another source of enjoyment I found in a glee-club 
 which I formed soon after my return home, on the plan 
 of those, of which I had been a member in larger 
 places. 
 
 If Americans believe that the Germans are particu- 
 larly a Musical Nation, they are mistaken as far as 
 the North Western part of Germany is concerned. 
 There I should much sooner, even in this century, 
 renew the complaint of Bonifacius who compared the 
 singing of the ancient Germans to the rumbling of a 
 wagon over a road made of logs. It is true, almost 
 every boy and every girl of the higher classes learned 
 music as a part of a complete education, but as to the 
 lower classes in the cities and the country people on 
 the whole, there was very little music among them. 
 
106 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 My father had a harpsichord, but that was the only 
 instrument of that kind in the village and neighbor- 
 hood, and only here and there a single flute, or violin 
 might be found. There was not much singing to be 
 heard, and that which might be heard, was not of the 
 best description and not occasioned by the best motives. 
 
 It is true, in all my experience with hundreds of 
 scholars, I met very seldom a child that could not 
 sing a note, but such an entire absence of latent musi- 
 cal talent is also very rare among people of other 
 nations. 
 
 The glee-club, which I organized, was the first one 
 formed in a village, in that region. With persons, 
 many of whom did not know the notes, I had a very hard 
 time of it, and was obliged to use the violin to guide 
 one part, and to help with my voice in either of the 
 other parts. But it was a labor of love, and therefore, 
 it did not seem hard to me. By weekly exercises, I 
 succeeded so far that we could celebrate our first anni- 
 versary publicly and to every body's satisfaction, and 
 I had the pleasure to see that within a short time the 
 inhabitants of eight neighboring villages followed our 
 example, and that glee-clubs became one of the ele- 
 ments of social enjoyment in that region. 
 
 On days and evenings when I was not induced to 
 dedicate my leisure hours to any of the subjects I have 
 mentioned so far, I went to a club which was held every 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 107 
 
 evening alternately in the two principal hotels (or 
 rather inns) of the place. 
 
 During the winter, the time was spent in playing 
 cards. The minister, and a few other dignitaries of 
 the village, were the most regular attendants. A min- 
 ister was the person that induced me, when I was ahout 
 16 years old, for the first time to play cards at a pub- 
 lic house. We always played for money, though not 
 at a very high rate. It was very rare that one lost, 
 or gained more than half a dollar during an evening. 
 In summer, the cards rested for the most part, and the 
 evenings were spent in playing nine-pins. This game 
 was by itself a very healthy exercise, but it was some- 
 times rather too exciting, since it was played for 
 money, and always by two antagonistic parties who, of 
 course, watched every throw of their partners as well 
 as of their opponents, especially the last decisive 
 throws of every round. 
 
 From the whole preceding account it will be evident 
 that I had not a minute left to spend on independent 
 philosophical, abstract, or religious meditations, and 
 I have now only to show whether religion did not enter 
 into public life, or into my private life, in such a way 
 as to have at least now and then some influence on my 
 mind. To this end I will give a brief account of the 
 general state of affairs concerning religious matters. 
 
 To conclude from the footprints past times have left 
 
108 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 in that region, one would think that its inhabitants, 
 several centuries ago, were a very religious people. 
 There is one custom, which I think, is very beautiful, 
 and though it may be, for the most part, thoughtlessly 
 complied with, still I cannot help believing that it had 
 its origin in a truly religious spirit. When a person 
 passes by a garden, a field &c. where one, or several per- 
 sons are at work, he says " Good day, God help," and 
 the individuals spoken to reply " Good day, I thank !" 
 
 The churches there are numerous, and very few of 
 them were built during the last two centuries. The 
 parishes contain only from 300 to 1800 inhabitants, 
 and thus one meets on travelling through the country, 
 a " church village " every two or three miles. Most 
 of the churches are very spacious, and are built of 
 large granite blocks which are not found in the neigh- 
 borhood, and must have been brought from afar, at 
 great expense. 
 
 The belfry is usually built near the church, and the 
 latter is not adorned with a steeple. In the belfry 
 there are generally three bells, and these are rung 
 on all possible occasions, singly, or together in differ- 
 ent combinations. It required seven persons to ring 
 the bells which were under the charge of my father 
 (as teacher, organist and church warden), 4 persons 
 for one, 2 for the other, and 1 for the third. I re- 
 member with delight how beautiful it seemed to me 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 109 
 
 on a calm Sunday morning to hear the bells of 5 or 
 6 neighboring villages, sending their sweet and solemn 
 harmonies through the reposing atmosphere. 
 
 Almost all the churches are richly endowed with 
 real estate, which was given them by the builders, or 
 in subsequent times, (though not of late) by parish- 
 ioners as a legacy. There were churches that could 
 be supported without any taxes being levied for such 
 a purpose. 
 
 I do not know whether building churches and going 
 to church were then an index of the moral and re- 
 ligious state of communities and individuals, with 
 any greater or inferior accuracy than now. However, 
 so much is known, that in feudal times, the " Younk- 
 ers " (a princely aristocracy of our region) used the 
 churches as fortresses, when they, in their petty war- 
 fare, were urged too closely by their adversaries. 
 Many churches were perhaps built with this end in 
 view, or, at least, with an eye to such an emergency ; 
 the thick walls, the small and elevated windows &c. 
 prove this. 
 
 Moreover, the churches which were built on small 
 hills, were places of refuge when the North Sea broke 
 through the then very imperfect dykes, and inundated 
 the whole level region. As late as 1825 there was 
 such an inundation. As I was then 4 years old, I 
 have a slight recollection of seeing the water around 
 
110 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 our house, of our having the furniture carried into 
 the church and our cattle driven upon the grave-yard 
 which surrounded the church. And we ourselves 
 went to the minister's house which was situated higher 
 than ours. When the water subsided, and the roads 
 became passable, a number of drowned persons were 
 brought to the grave-yard. 
 
 Not far from us there was a bay which had been 
 formed several centuries ago during such an inundation 
 which had swept away seven parishes. 1 visited this 
 bay several times. During ebb-tide one could go out 
 a distance beyond the dyke to a small hill which still 
 showed the foundation of one of the churches that 
 were destroyed. As I spoke of not knowing whether 
 there was really more religion in old times than now, 
 I will notice one tradition connected with the event, I 
 have just recalled. It is related that those 7 parishes 
 were swept away, because their inhabitants were so 
 wicked. Among others things, it is said, for instance, 
 that a farmer sent for a clergyman to administer the 
 rite of " communion " to his dying wife ; but the 
 minister on his arrival found on the supposed death- 
 bed, a — pig, instead of a woman. 
 
 The inhabitants of my native province, while I 
 lived among them, did not thus boldly defy and mock 
 religion and its ministers, but on the other hand they 
 envinced very little interest in them, and had on the 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. Ill 
 
 whole very little to do with them. There was always 
 a sufficient number of young men who acquired at 
 college a thorough education, and who went thereupon 
 to a university there to study theology. After their 
 return home, they were examined by the consistory 
 (the state's church government), and if they passed 
 this examination, they were allowed to preach occa- 
 sionally. According to the evidence of scholarship 
 they had given in this first examination, they could 
 apply for a second examination; the best of them 
 after one, the others after two, or three years. Having 
 passed this second ordeal, they were allowed not only 
 to preach, but also to administer the sacraments. But 
 they had to bide their time to become settled ministers. 
 
 When a minister died, or if a parish needed, for 
 some other reason, a minister, the government selected 
 a person to fill this vacancy. If the place was one 
 richly endowed, the government chose from out of the 
 ministers who were not quite so well paid, that one 
 who had been the greatest number of years in his 
 actual situation. The place then vacated was again 
 filled on the same principle, and so on, until a place 
 for a beginner was opened, and there the government 
 sent the oldest of the unemployed candidates of 
 divinity. It was a rarity, if any minister, or candi- 
 date was preferred and advanced on any other ground 
 than age and length of service. 
 
112 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 It is true, the ministers lived principally on the 
 income of the landed estate with which their places 
 had been endowed in old times, and on fees, which had 
 to be paid for every funeral, marriage and baptism, 
 and on produce, (grain, bread, cheese, milk, meat &c.) 
 which the farmers were obliged to contribute every 
 year (as a kind of tithe I suppose.) Thus the largest 
 salaries of the ministers were not made up by the 
 heaviest direct taxes. Still it was hard for the parishes 
 with the richest churches and parsonages, in conse- 
 quence of the above-mentioned arrangement always 
 to have the oldest and most inefficient ministers, and 
 thus to derive very unwelcome fruits from their parish 
 treasures. 
 
 The oldest ministers were the most inefficient, not 
 only on account of their age. A young man who 
 had recently and freshly come from his books and 
 from other sources of learning, might hold out for a 
 few years and show some scientific zeal, though he 
 might not have the remotest idea that religious zeal 
 was the kind of enthusiasm he and others ought to 
 wish to find in him. But even that scientific zeal 
 could not fail to vanish very soon. What was there 
 to keep his zeal alive, or to infuse any into him, if 
 there wa3 none ? The people had not wished, or 
 bidden him to come ; perhaps they had never seen him, 
 or heard of him before his installation. They took 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 113 
 
 him because they could not help it, or because they 
 thought it was none of their business to have any 
 opinion about the matter. Why should he try to do 
 anything particularly for his parishioners ? He had 
 not come among them, because he liked them, or 
 because he thought he had a mission from God, for 
 the welfare of immortal souls. 
 
 To be a minister was the way he had chosen for the 
 sake of getting through this life. There was a parish ; 
 he was sent to be its minister until he should get a 
 better situation. And then, why should he even strive 
 to deserve and soon to reach a better situation, by 
 good behavior, good preaching &c. ? He knew he 
 would be promoted, anyhow, in his turn. 
 
 The consequence was this. The ministers preached 
 once every Sunday, and on every Christian festival 
 (Christmas &c.) because this was a business imposed 
 upon them by the church laws. They had received a 
 good education, and their sermons, therefore, could 
 not be all poor ; still, on the whole, I think the preach- 
 ing was not effective, because it was a mere matter of 
 routine, a sounding brass. 
 
 The ministers performed the baptismal and mar- 
 riage rites, and officiated at funerals if they were 
 particularly called upon and paid. They kept the 
 parish registers of these events, and they acted as 
 superintendents of the parish schools, and as chairmen 
 8 
 
114 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 of the boards of overseers of the poor. Very few of 
 them had any idea of ever paying* pastoral visits. 
 They went where they were invited, to such feasts as I 
 have described above. And the minister of whom I 
 have spoken as my companion in playing cards and 
 nine-pins, dancing and drinking at balls &c., was no 
 exception. Most other ministers did the same. 
 
 The people looked upon such worldliness either 
 with indifference, or with approbation. Their indif- 
 ference, or submissiveness, or want of feeling (or 
 whatever one may call it) went even so far, that I 
 know of instances where they were satisfied with 
 keeping for many years, a minister among them, who 
 was known to have committed flagrant crimes. It 
 was a thing hardly ever heard of, that a minister 
 should be removed on the wish of his parishioners. 
 What did they care, who was their minister ? If he 
 let them alone, and if he was a man they could toler- 
 ably well get along with, he might stay if he liked, 
 take it easy and preach to empty pews if this pleased 
 him, or sometimes not at all, if he liked that better. 
 
 I was once told of a minister in a small parish who 
 went for a month to the church always with the same 
 sermon in his pocket without finding an audience 
 before which to deliver it. The parish in which my 
 father was organist, consisted of about 1800 persons, 
 and the usual attendance at church on common Sun- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 115 
 
 days ranged between 30 and 50 individuals. Later I 
 played the organ in a town of 4 or 5000 inhabitants 
 with only one church. There were morning and 
 afternoon services. In the former, I counted usually 
 about 50 persons present, in the latter about 6 or 10. 
 
 Under such circumstances, ministers could hardly be 
 expected to be zealous in their calling, for as I have 
 intimated, there was nothing that would be likely 
 inwardly to develop religious sentiments in their souls 
 individually ; there was nothing in their surroundings 
 that could act as a stimulus outwardly ; the govern- 
 ment even provided her foster children only with plenty 
 of food and raiment, but did hardly anything to develop 
 their spiritual life and influence. All it did, consisted 
 in sending every two, three, or four years a committee 
 successively into all the parishes. It was composed of 
 the general superintendent, (somewhat like a bishop) 
 and a civil officer or magistrate. The former was to 
 look into the spiritual concerns of the churches and 
 schools, and the latter into the management of their 
 temporal affairs. Accordingly one day was appointed 
 for " school visitation " and another for church 
 visitation. 
 
 The latter was hardly more than a mere form. The 
 minister had to preach and to catechize in the presence 
 of the superintendent. The principal event of the 
 day was a grand dinner which the minister gave to his 
 
116 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 guests and to the dignitaries of the parish, and for 
 which he was reimbursed from the church funds. The 
 people, therefore, liked to call these stated visitations, 
 Kwclicn (kitchen) visitations instead of Kirchen 
 (church) visitations. 
 
 Thus religion entered into public life and into the 
 life of individuals for the most part only so far as the 
 laws of the state made it obligatory. The few even 
 who voluntarily engaged in some act of public wor- 
 ship, seemed hardly to be animated by any spiritual 
 or religious thought or feeling. And private worship 
 there was none, for neither single households were in 
 the habit of keeping family worship, nor did friends 
 or neighbors meet for any such purpose. If they had 
 done the latter, the police, probably, would have dis- 
 turbed their meetings. This happened, at least, a few 
 years after the time I have been speaking of, when 
 the Methodists began to send emissaries into that part 
 of the country. 
 
 Considering these circumstances I cannot find it 
 strange that religion, at that time, should have entered 
 into my life, merely as a matter of business. More- 
 over, since my father was so sickly that he was entirely 
 confined to the house during the greater part of the 
 year, I had to perform that part of his duties (or his 
 business) which related to the religious institutions of 
 the community. This caused me still more decidedly 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 117 
 
 to have no spiritual concern in religious matters. 
 
 On Sunday mornings, I went to church to play the 
 organ which I liked very much and which was really 
 now and then edifying to me, viz. if on a festive occa- 
 sion there was a larger congregation than usual, so 
 that their singing would rise majestically and sol- 
 emnly above the sounds of the organ. Congregational 
 singing, or a large choir is necessary to bring out the 
 character and effect of a simple hymn ; the singing of 
 a small choir and especially of a quartett is a lament- 
 able innovation as to this kind of music. I was, 
 therefore, glad that there was hardly anywhere a choir 
 in the churches of my native country. The singing, 
 however, was spoiled by another thing ; it was too 
 slow, and the organist, moreover, had to play a short 
 interlude, not only between every two stanzas but even 
 between every two lines ; a means of badly mangling* 
 and destroying the thoughts and feelings of almost 
 every sentence. 
 
 The other parts of the services I hardly noticed. 
 The minister read his prayers from a book containing 
 a collection of formulas, probably published by the 
 government ; but about their style and contents I rec- 
 ollect nothing. The sermons were not calculated to 
 arrest my attention, or that of any other person. 
 
 After the sermon, the minister catechized the older 
 scholars of the parish school collected in the aisle, but 
 
lis 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 all the younger teachers of that time, who had "been 
 educated in the teacher's Seminary, believed to under- 
 stand " that business " much better than the ministers, 
 i 
 
 and looked with compassion upon their crude and 
 unskilful mode of teaching. If there was a baptism 
 to be performed after the services, I had to send warm 
 water to the font, for which service my father received 
 4 cts, while the minister made 8 cts by the perform- 
 ance itself. Both of us were usually as expeditious 
 as possible in performing all these duties, and as soon 
 as the door of the church was locked, I should almost 
 say, religion was laid aside for the remainder of the 
 day, and if possible for the remainder of the week. 
 
 Daring the week, however, we were sometimes sum- 
 moned to attend a marriage; the minister in his offi- 
 cial capacity, since civil marriage was not allowed ; I, 
 . usually as a guest, except on particularly splendid 
 occasions, where I was required to take about a dozen 
 of school-boys with me to sing before and after the 
 wedding ceremony. The latter, however, was always 
 the most unimportant part of the whole celebration. 
 Sometimes the dancing began soon after the religious 
 act and lasted often until the next morning. The 
 father of the bride, or the minister used to open the 
 ball with the bride. The wedding sometimes lasted 
 three days, though of late not so often as in old times. 
 
 The way in which the minister and I and the 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 119 
 
 church-bells were concerned in funerals, depended upon 
 the* money that was paid. I forget what fees the min- 
 ister received. My father was paid 30 cts for the funer- 
 al of a child (the hells ringing a quarter of an hour) ; 
 GO cts for the funeral of a grown person in the evening, 
 unattended by the minister and organist, (the hells 
 ringing an hour at noon) ; 72 cts for a funeral in the 
 afternoon. On the latter occasions the hells rang 
 during the burial, as well as the day before at noon, 
 one hour. I had to meet the funeral procession at the 
 gate of the church-yard. The minister and I went in 
 front of it with a dozen or two of boys, singing while 
 we slowly walked round the cemetery and into the 
 church. Here the bier was placed in the aisle ; some 
 hymns were sung ; the minister preached a funeral 
 sermon, and read a short sketch of the life of the 
 deceased which had been written by the organist. 
 Then the procession was formed again and proceeded 
 to the grave where the coffin was deposited while a 
 hymn was sung. 
 
 Now and then there was a funeral with some 
 additional solemnities on which occasion the organist 
 received $5,00. The minister and I and the singers 
 must then go to the house of mourning. There 
 the former and I were placed in the seats of honor 
 among the numerous guests. We and all the other 
 men smoked out of long, white, earthen pipes, drank 
 
120 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 coffee, and partook afterwards of a frugal repast of 
 bread, cheese and small-beer. Then after the funeral 
 sermon had been preached over the corpse, I and the 
 boys were seated on the vehicle which opened the train, 
 and before every house we passed on the road, we must 
 sing a stanza of a hymn. 
 
 The coffin was placed on a second vehicle, and this 
 was followed by other carriages, containing the mourn- 
 ing friends and guests. At the church, the same rites 
 were performed which I have described above, but in 
 addition the organ was played, and the church (as it 
 was now evening) was illumined by a great many can- 
 dles. At the grave, one boy who was usually chosen 
 on account of being the best singer, had to stand very 
 near the grave and to sing a solo alternating with the 
 chorus of the others, and representing the departed 
 spirit. 
 
 I have thus given a description of the mode in which 
 religion was connected with public life, and as it 
 appeared on the surface in the life of individuals. And 
 I have very little reason to believe that there was much 
 internal and invisible religious life. It is true, a per- 
 son may make very little show of religion and may 
 still have built an altar in his heart. Thus I remem- 
 ber that my mother who made no pretensions to 
 appearing as a religious person, once said to me : " she 
 had prayed many a time that I might become a good 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 121 
 
 man, and hoped her prayer might be granted." This 
 one word was to me a greater proof of her inward reli- 
 gious life, than many so called religious acts would 
 have been. 
 
 Of myself, I also must say that I was not entirely 
 lost to religious thoughts, feelings and conversation. 
 
 I remember, I came home one evening from the club 
 later than usual. My mother who had been waiting 
 and watching for me, expressed her fear that I had 
 been dissipated. I told her " quite the contrary." I 
 had forgotten the time over a conversation with a 
 friend who had said among other things, " if there 
 was no God, the government ought to make one," and 
 I had tried to strengthen him in the belief in the 
 existence of God. 
 
 From this incident, it appears that I was not an 
 atheist, or an infidel. Still I think I could not have 
 called myself a religious man. I say this not on 
 account of my not believing in all the doctrines of the 
 Catholic, the Lutheran, or the Calvinistic church, but 
 because I think religion was not the only, or even prin- 
 cipal motive of my actions. I did a vast deal of 
 labor, and I hope I did a great deal of good and but 
 little harm. I say, but little harm, because I think 
 that teachers and physicians ought not to be too sure 
 of doing no harm. A person belonging to either of 
 these professions, may he be ever so skilful and con- 
 
122 
 
 THE PKOBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 scientious, is apt sometimes to make a mistake in the 
 treatment of those he practises on. Still this fact need 
 not discourage him ; he is allowed to continue his pro- 
 fession, if he knows he is as fit for it as most other 
 people would be in his stead. 
 
 Whatever good I did, was, however, not the embod- 
 iment of a really religious feeling. A part of my 
 labors I performed merely because it was my business ; 
 a part because I earned advantages and honor from it, 
 and a part because I liked to do it. As to that part of 
 my time which I spent in society, I cannot look back 
 upon it with remorse, taking it on the whole. Over 
 those enjoyments I did not neglect my duties, since I 
 was no idler, but bore at least the average share of 
 the work mankind has to perform. I withheld from 
 nobody what was due to him ; 1 earned enough to have 
 ample means to meet all my expenses. I did not set 
 a bad example, because the national conscience, so to 
 say, did not condemn our mode of enjoying ourselves. 
 Thus on the one hand I must say, that considering the 
 circumstances, my life at that time was not a worthless 
 one, though on the other hand, I should not allow my- 
 self now to live it over again exactly in the same way. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 123 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 EARLY MANHOOD. SECOND PERIOD. 
 
 How long I should have wished to remain in the 
 position I have described, I do not know. I was called 
 away from it, when I had as yet no desire to leave it. 
 The college in the neighboring town had lost its teacher 
 of gymnastics who had received a call to the capital 
 of the state. It was hard to find a successor to fill his 
 place, as teachers of gymnastics were rare at that time. 
 The director of the college, my former teacher there, 
 had heard of my being engaged in teaching this branch 
 of education, and desired to procure my services. He 
 could not offer me a sufficient salary, but there hap- 
 pened to be a vacancy, at the girls' school of the city. 
 He mentioned, therefore, to the superintendent of the 
 schools the expediency of inducing the government to 
 appoint me as teacher in that school, so that he at the 
 same time might avail himself of my services as 
 teacher of gymnastics. His wish was granted, and 
 I received the appointment quite unexpectedly. 
 
 My father and I were not pleased with it. Perhaps 
 the government would not have forced me to accept 
 the situation, if I had refused it. But my father did 
 not like to injure the feelings of the superintendent. 
 
124 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 The latter was his friend ; he was the minister who 
 had baptized me, had known and liked me as a child, 
 and had believed now to confer a favor upon me. 
 Moreover, my father thought the city would be a better 
 place for me to enter upon a successful career. I 
 accepted, therefore, the offered situation. 
 
 I was connected with the girls' " town school 99 for 
 five years. I entered as the youngest or the fifth in 
 the corps of teachers, but about eighteen months later 
 there was another vacancy, and I was promoted to the 
 place of the fourth teacher, and about two years after- 
 wards I was made third teacher. Our school contained 
 about three hundred girls. The first class was a select 
 school with twenty scholars, the second contained sixty, 
 the third eighty, the fourth and fifth each seventy 
 pupils. "We taught five hours a day. Most of the 
 time I was engaged in my own class, but the French, 
 writing, drawing and (for some time)the singing lessons 
 in the two upper classes, were entrusted to me. In 
 consequence of this, I had always a number of private 
 pupils from the second class who wished especially to 
 prepare themselves for entering the select class. 
 
 During the day, I gave some other private lessons; 
 I was appointed as writing master in one of the classes 
 of the college ; in the evening I directed the gymnas- 
 tic exercises of the seventy students of the college. 
 Besides, I taught gymnastics to a private class of small 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 125 
 
 boys, and for some time to a class of grown men. For 
 two summers, I walked once every week over to another 
 town, to teach gymnastics there for two hours, and 
 walked hack the six miles, the same day. For several 
 years, I walked on Saturdays over to my parents' home, 
 to lead the glee-club there whose members thought 
 they could not do without me. 
 
 Thus I led again a very active life, and the affair 
 turned out much better than I had expected. I had 
 hesitated to accept the situation of fifth teacher there, 
 partly on account of the pitifully small salary connect- 
 ed with it (eighty dollars a year and free lodging) 
 and still even during the first year, I made money 
 enough. And a few years later, at the age of twenty- 
 six years, I had an income as large as most teachers 
 obtained only at the age of forty or fifty years, and 
 some, perhaps, never in their whole lives. My social 
 life became, from year to year, more satisfactory. 
 
 In the higher classes of German society, there exists 
 a prejudice which I might call partly the effect of a 
 real aristocracy of learning, partly the remnant of 
 ancient barriers of custom, rank and privileges. I 
 have no personal experience of the pride and haughti- 
 ness of a feudal aristocracy of nobility, since my native 
 state fortunately had got rid of this aristocracy of the 
 " shot-pouch," as Carlyle calls it. There were some 
 noblemen at court, who had mostly come over from 
 
126 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 other states, but they were dependent 011 court favors 
 and salaries, and had no prerogatives out of their 
 proper sphere. 
 
 We had, however, a half real, half imaginary aris- 
 tocracy of learning. The government officers, minis- 
 ters, lawyers and physicians who had all been obliged 
 to spend three or four years at the university, usually 
 considered themselves superior to everybody who had 
 not " studied." There may have been a time when 
 knowledge and education were found nowhere except 
 among the " studied " classes, but that time had passed. 
 Especially had the teachers' Seminaries for the last 
 thirty years educated a class of men who had in some 
 respects a superior education, and the burgher schools 
 began in opposition to colleges and universities to send 
 forth their pupils educated by the means of mathe- 
 matics and natural sciences, in preference to the ancient 
 languages. Still, the aristocracy of learning were gen- 
 erally not willing to admit any persons thus educated, 
 into their society as equals. Some of the wealthier 
 merchants were admissible on account of their money 
 and their daughters. Very few others succeeded in 
 gaining admittance. I was, however, fortunate enough 
 to overcome this prejudice, and was admitted on equal 
 terms into all the circles of the higher classes of society 
 in the city. 
 
 Nevertheless, this circumstance had not the effect 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 127 
 
 to separate me from the primary teachers, and espe- 
 cially it did not prevent me from sharing in their gen- 
 eral antipathy against ministers as a class. According 
 to law, ministers were the local superintendents of all 
 the schools, and very ample power was given them to 
 assist, or to check the teachers, to interfere, to rule, 
 to domineer. This might have been a wise measure 
 in former centuries. But now the teachers understood 
 and performed their business infinitely better than the 
 ministers could or would understand and perform either 
 their own business, or that of the teachers. No won- 
 der, therefore, that the latter should chafe under the 
 galling yoke imposed upon them, especially if this 
 yoke was made more oppressive by perverseness, or 
 haughtiness on the part of the superintendent. I sup- 
 pose many of the teachers would have been willing to 
 have superintendents chosen from among the people, 
 or chosen by the people from among the ministers, 
 but they could not be satisfied with being made, indis- 
 criminately, the subjects and humble servants of the 
 ministers. 
 
 As soon as I had accepted the situation I have 
 spoken of, I had ample reason for being, for my part, 
 strengthened in this aversion against the existing reg- 
 ulations. The school committee, and the second min- 
 ister of the parish church who was our local superin- 
 tendent, had a grudge against one of the older teachers 
 
128 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 of our school, and had hired two very miserable lodg- 
 ing rooms for him. He refused to take them, and as 
 they did not dare to force him, they thought they had 
 a good opportunity of getting rid of the matter by 
 giving those rooms to me, a new comer and a young 
 man. I disappointed them by refusing in my turn. 
 The minister tried to persuade me, then to frighten 
 me into yielding. 
 
 Thereupon I was ordered to appear before the con- 
 sistory (our ecclesiastical tribunal) where they also 
 tried to persuade and to threaten me into acquiescence. 
 As there was no inclination on either side to give up, I 
 told them I should appeal to the central government 
 and even to the Grandduke himself. So I did, explain- 
 ing very minutely how shabbily my superiors intended 
 to treat me. The result was, that they received a 
 warning admonition, and that they had to pay me a 
 sufficient sum of money wherewith to procure lodgings 
 for myself. 
 
 Still the government was so partial to the consistory 
 and the minister, that l was not even directly informed 
 of having gained my cause. The very people against 
 whom I had petitioned, were the only ones who received 
 the above decision and directions. 
 
 This incident had the good effect to rid me of all 
 further trouble. In fact, I had afterwards not a single 
 disagreeable experience with any minister, and since 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 129 
 
 my social position on the whole was so very satisfactory, 
 I had no right to complain of suffering, personally, 
 from unjust laws and regulations and prejudices con- 
 cerning teachers. Still, from principle, I continued 
 to side with the teachers whenever there was an occa- 
 sion for showing one's sentiments and views. 
 
 From what T have said, it is apparent that my situ- 
 ation was one that might he envied by many of my 
 colleagues, and it would not be difficult for me to add 
 some more remarks which would prove that my lot 
 was really — outwardly — a very, very happy one. And 
 yet within five years this happiness became an intoler- 
 able burden to me and was mingled with the bitterest 
 grief and mental agony. It will perhaps be impossi- 
 ble fully to describe and to explain this, still I will 
 make an attempt at doing so. 
 
 During the first summer that I taught gymnastics 
 at the college, I found that many students were much 
 more skilful than I, for I had never been taught by 
 any one, and had practised but little by myself after 
 having sought information from books. Moreover I 
 was hardly older than some of the students. I found 
 it, therefore, hard to be useful to the scholars, as well 
 as to retain the relation of superiority which a teacher 
 always ought to maintain. 
 
 Thus I felt the necessity of perfecting myself in 
 gymnastics, and consequently I took a leave of absence, 
 9 
 
130 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 and went to the capital where I received permission 
 to practise with the subaltern officers of the garrison. 
 This happened just at the time when gymnastics were 
 the favorite and most flourishing part of martial train- 
 ing, and my stay there produced the desired effect. 
 Practising for six weeks, every day four or five hours, 
 gymnastics, fencing, bayonet-fighting and common 
 evolutions, I became much more expert in these 
 matters. 
 
 At the same time, however, I had an opportunity 
 to see human life under a new aspect. In the after- 
 noon and evening I frequented several circles of 
 military and literary men, into which the lieutenant 
 who was my teacher, introduced me. I will not say 
 that I met there persons who weakened my faith in 
 human goodness and virtue, still I associated, more 
 than ever before, with people who had not a very 
 exalted idea of man's destiny and man's duties, but 
 made great demands on life as a source of enjoyment. 
 
 Thus, I think, I returned home a better teacher of 
 gymnastics but also, more than ever before, inclined 
 to aspire to obtaining worldly treasures, honor, fame, 
 rank, money — though, the latter not for its own sake, 
 but only as a means of enjoyment. 
 
 During the following summer, I did not yet succeed 
 in teaching gymnastics entirely to my satisfaction. 
 I told, therefore, the director of the college that I 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 131 
 
 must see other large institutions for this branch of 
 education, so as to know where the secret was of ruling 
 and guiding a large number of boys who were scat- 
 tered over a large place and practising at many dif- 
 ferent instruments at the same time and thus escaping 
 the teacher's immediate notice. 
 
 The director who was always a most kind patron 
 and friend to me, offered, if possible, to procure for 
 me the " nervus rei " as he called it, and although I 
 departed before he could do so, he really handed me 
 on my return, after an absence of six weeks, a sum of 
 money which almost reimbursed me for my expenses ; 
 it was a present, solicited and received from the Grand- 
 duke. 
 
 During my journey, I visited Bremen, Hanover, 
 Brunswick, Magdeburg, Dessau, Berlin, Leipsic and 
 Dresden. I saw the gymnasiums of the different places, 
 and was exceedingly interested in the arrangement, 
 management and working of some of these institu- 
 tions. In Berlin, I visited the place where Jahn, the 
 father of gymnastics, had trained the youths of the 
 city and of the university to become strong and bold 
 defenders of their fatherland, against the invading 
 foe, against the victorious French. 
 
 This place was now laid out in beautiful terraces, 
 filled with a gymnastic apparatus of every description 
 and variety where eight hundred youths practised, all 
 
132 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 dressed in the " Turner's " costume — white pantaloons, 
 and white, or bluejackets. 
 
 In several of the places I visited, I was disappointed, 
 finding the teachers of gymnastics to be persons of 
 no culture or refinement, and the exercises to be con- 
 ducted without any order or propriety. Thus I had 
 the consolation to find out that my own unpleasant 
 experience was not a solitary fact, but a general one ; 
 that it was either natural and unavoidable, or that 
 there was a flaw in the system. 
 
 I was fully satisfied only in one place viz. in Dessau, 
 in the gymnastic and orthopaedic Institute of Pro- 
 fessor Werner. And this Institute was decried by the 
 Turners in general as a humbug. It is true, there 
 was much show ; still, while dancing and conversing 
 with the young ladies there, I was convinced that Mr. 
 W. had produced wonderful cures of deformities. 
 And during the daily exercises and performances the 
 strictest order was enforced, and beauty and grace 
 were the end in view rather than mere force. During 
 the present civilized age, I think the latter ought 
 never to be tolerated when being rude and brutal, but 
 always ought to be combined with the former. 
 
 During my journey, I did not turn my attention 
 exclusively to my principal object. I tried to see and 
 to learn as much as possible of life in its various 
 aspects and phases. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 133 
 
 Wherever I stopped I went to the opera, to the 
 theatre, to concerts, to museums, to dancing halls and 
 other places of amusement for the higher and lower 
 classes of society. In Berlin, I made it my particular 
 object to become familiar with the life and pursuits 
 of university students. Some of my friends were 
 studying there at the time ; I went with them to their 
 lectures, and heard Neander, Mitscherlich and other 
 celebrated men. I entered fully into the students' 
 mode of spending and enjoying their leisure time, 
 and as the students in Berlin were said to be rather 
 sober and hardworking, compared with those of most 
 other German universities, I was confirmed in my 
 opinion, first, that the German universities afford an 
 opportunity of hearing the most erudite men in the 
 world ; secondly, that the regulations of the univer- 
 sity, however, do not make it easy for, and incumbent 
 on the students to derive full benefit from these 
 facilities ; thirdly, that very many students spend their 
 three or four years very unprofitably at the university 
 as to advancement in book-learning and thorough 
 scientific education ; fourthly, that it is altogether a 
 false notion to make a stay at a university the cri- 
 terion of a man's moral, intellectual, social, politic 
 and civic worth. 
 
 In Berlin, I also went to see Diesterweg to whom I 
 gained access by a letter of introduction. 
 
134 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 D. was, at that time, one of the most celebrated 
 men in the department of education, and I rejoiced 
 in seeing and examining the Seminary and model 
 school which were under his direction. 
 
 One of the most important incidents of my journey 
 was the last meeting of the " friends of light " which 
 I attended in Dessau. Some time before, Johannes 
 Kongo had stirred up the general interest in religious 
 matters by his attacks upon the Jesuits, upon the 
 pilgrimages to the wonderworking seamless coat of 
 Christ at Treves &c. I do not know whether he was 
 not capable, or not worthy of being leader of a new 
 religious sect, or whether the impediments which the 
 governments placed in the way of his followers, were 
 sufficient to kill the flower in the bud ; the fact is, the 
 new German catholic congregations soon decreased in 
 number, size and internal life. Still, I think Konge's 
 movement bore a share in producing, or at least in 
 eliciting a greater interest in religion among the 
 protest ants. 
 
 In and about Magdeburg especially, several liberal 
 ministers and literary men began publicly to deliver 
 speeches on religious subjects. This was done outside 
 of the church — taking this word as well in the mean- 
 ing of " edifice " as of " institution. " The meetings 
 were generally held at the different railway stations 
 where the beautiful and spacious halls of the usually 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 135 
 
 splendid depots afforded a convenient place, easy of 
 access. The tendency of all the speeches was as well 
 to induce the people to free themselves from the 
 cramping fetters of an established church, as to free 
 themselves from the fetters of a creed which could no 
 longer satisfy the minds and consciences of an enlight- 
 ened age and of an enlightened nation. 
 
 This was certainly the tendency, though on the 
 other hand everything was conducted with great pro?- 
 priety and loyalty. I am convinced, there were many 
 men engaged in this movement who sincerely believed 
 they had hit upon the right means of making their 
 fellow-men wiser and better — more religious. 
 
 The different governments, however, could not look 
 with indifference upon the existence of the societies 
 of these " friends of light " and upon their rapid 
 extension and propaganda. They forbade these meet- 
 ings in one state after another. The duke of Dessau 
 was the last to put in his veto, and thus the people of 
 the surrounding states flocked several times together 
 on his territory. But in the meeting at which I was 
 present, it was known, that that would be the last one 
 they should be allowed to hold. Thus an indescribable 
 sorrow and gloom pervaded the whole assembly and 
 its proceedings. 
 
 Personally, I concurred in the liberal views and 
 iieterodox opinions which all the speakers expressed, 
 
136 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 but at that time I could not make up my mind to 
 believe that the common people were prepared for 
 seeing pulled down the whole structure of time- 
 hallowed creeds and institutions. Still, I could not 
 help thinking that the German people were not to be 
 blamed if they kept aloof from religion as it was 
 forced upon them. I felt sure that I admired Frederic 
 the Great, the friend of Voltaire, more than his 
 " pious 93 descendant Frederic William IV, were it only 
 for that word of his " Let every one become blessed 
 after his own fashion. 99 
 
 The assembly dispersed quietly and orderly with a 
 sad farewell, and I was more than ever convinced that 
 religion and true piety could not be expected to flourish 
 where state and church are united, where the heads 
 and the officials and the sycophants of the two recipro- 
 cally abet and aid each other in using and abusing 
 the people as a means of promoting their own worldly 
 interests. 
 
 Another incident occurred in Dessau which very 
 forcibly led me to think of my own state of mind and 
 character. One morning, while taking a walk in the 
 suburbs, I noticed a building, which, according to an 
 inscription, was a school for poor and neglected chil- 
 dren. I walked in, and being introduced to the director, 
 I asked permission from him to see the institution. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 137 
 
 I found him to be a very affable man and a true- 
 hearted imitator and follower of Pestalozzi. 
 
 He politely showed me the different parts of the 
 institution. By entreaty and persuasion he had 
 gathered together about two hundred poor children. 
 He taught them not only all the branches of a com- 
 mon school education, but he gave the older boys an 
 opportunity to learn any trade they had a particular 
 liking for ; he let the girls learn whatever was practi- 
 cally useful for them, housework, sewing &c, and the 
 smaller children were employed, a few hours daily, in 
 assorting rags, bones, broken glass &c. Each one 
 thus contributed a little to supporting the institution ; 
 yea, it was almost entirely supported by itself. The 
 children were allowed to sleep at home, and I was 
 told the instances were not rare, where it was evident 
 that they had a good influence at home and had dif- 
 fused a better spirit through a whole family. 
 
 I met in the institution four young men who took 
 a part in the labors of teaching &c. They were vol- 
 unteers ; they had come from different parts of Ger- 
 many to make themselves acquainted with the working 
 of the system of this school, and then, probably, to 
 transplant it into their native places. I could not help 
 asking myself whether I would be willing to do the 
 same, and was obliged to confess that I was not hum- 
 
138 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 ble and good enough to sacrifice my actual position to 
 such an undertaking. 
 
 This thought overpowered and confused me so much 
 that on taking leave of the director aud expressing 
 my admiration, I added, " I hope this visit will do me 
 good." He smiled and dismissed me with kind wishes. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 139 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 EARLY MANHOOD. THIRD PERIOD. 
 
 The state of mind I have alluded to, developed 
 itself more and more after my return home. The 
 greater number of the girls I taught, belonged to the 
 poorer classes, and I found that teaching them became 
 more and more a burden to me, so that I disliked to 
 have this duty for the principal part of my business. 
 Certainly, therefore, I should have been much less 
 willing to dedicate myself entirely to teaching these 
 children. 
 
 If I should say how this dislike could spring up and 
 grow in me, I believe an explanation may be found in 
 the following circumstances. Though I might believe 
 in the existence of a God, still this belief was no prac- 
 tical faith. My mind was biased and was bent rather 
 upon denying and combatting those parts of our reli- 
 gion and creed which I believed to be erroneous, than to 
 be satisfied with the simple, essential, and incontestable 
 part of the Christian religion. I could not, therefore, 
 believe that God had destined me to remaining in the 
 station I held, and could not in humility perform my 
 duties as a labor made easy by love and obedience to 
 God. Nor did love to man enter into my character 
 
140 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 in such a way as to be a motive for self-sacrificing 
 charity. 
 
 I loved those that loved me, and did good to them 
 whenever I could do so without encountering any par- 
 ticular difficulty. About the remainder of society, at 
 least considering them as individuals, I concerned my- 
 self very little. 
 
 Worldly considerations there were none that could 
 attach me more strongly to my principal business. Its 
 pecuniary advantages were very small ; by teaching 
 one hour gymnastics I earned more than by teaching 
 school a whole day. Since my education had been 
 better than that of most of the primary teachers, I 
 considered myself worthy of teaching other branches 
 than the common ones. With the parents of my 
 scholars I had hardly any intercourse and connection ; 
 I mingled in society with a class of persons who looked 
 down upon most of those people as their inferiors, and 
 in this social position I maintained myself, therefore, 
 in spite of my official position. 
 
 When I became fully aware of this condition, I 
 resolved upon extricating myself from such a dilemma 
 by giving up school teaching, and by dedicating myself 
 entirely to gymnastics. This branch began to be so 
 popular in the country that it seemed to open to me 
 a career satisfactory in a two-fold aspect. First, I 
 might expect such worldly rewards from it as I then 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 141 
 
 aspired to obtain ; secondly, I looked upon gymnastics 
 with more trust as to their usefulness and efficiency 
 than upon any other branch of education. 
 
 However, when I revealed my intention to my 
 parents, I met wdth such decided opposition that I felt 
 obliged to give up this idea. 
 
 Thus I went on plodding in the usual way, without 
 being with heart and soul engaged in the most impor- 
 tant part of my work. No observer could be aware of 
 this fact, because I performed my duties with the utmost 
 punctuality, more so than several of the other teachers 
 with whom I was connected. Yea, I did more. Once 
 when one of our teachers, my particular friend, was 
 dangerously sick, I united his scholars with mine, and 
 thus I taught one hundred and forty children for three 
 months without asking any of the other teachers to 
 aid me. 
 
 Since my mind was not absorbed in my daily busi- 
 ness, it turned itself to other objects. Though, as I 
 said, my actions were not prompted by charity to indi- 
 viduals, by a practical philanthropy, still the objects I 
 chose, pertained to philanthropy in the abstract, in 
 theory. I succeeded in most of them ; if not always 
 in the form, at least in the substance viz. as far as 
 they had not been prompted by really selfish motives. 
 
 For instance, I published an article endeavoring to 
 show that singing ought not to be the prerogative of 
 
142 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 the higher classes, as it was then and there ; but that 
 the burghers and even the journey-men (Gesellen) 
 ought to have their glee-clubs. 
 
 A few days after, a gentleman called on me, saying, 
 a number of citizens had resolved upon following my 
 advice ; he asked me to join the glee-club they were 
 ahout to form. Sometime afterwards the journeymen 
 also formed a singing society of their own. If I had 
 had some expectation of being called upon to act as 
 leader of these societies, I was disappointed in this 
 respect ; a man older and more experienced than I, 
 was chosen. 
 
 At another time, I published anonymously an arti- 
 cle showing the'necessity of controlling the organ-grind- 
 ers, in regard to the songs they brought before the 
 public. A few weeks later the government issued a law 
 enjoining upon the magistrates not to allow the organ- 
 grinders &c. to bring any immoral songs and pictures 
 before the public. 
 
 When the different glee-clubs in the city and in the 
 country were firmly established, I proposed to them to 
 meet once every year, for a grand festival. I offered 
 to be a medium for interchanging the songs which 
 each society would like to have sung by all the others. 
 I am not sure that I sought personal aggrandizement by 
 this measure, since it seemed to be a necessary practi- 
 cal expedient, and I do not feel obliged to accuse my- 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 143 
 
 self of ambition. Still I was violently attacked upon 
 this ground by some anonymous writer, apparently a 
 secret enemy, and I bad to fight a literary feud. It 
 was quite an ordeal for me, but on the whole it did 
 me good in every respect. My proposals were not 
 passed by unheeded. Another gentleman took up the 
 affair, declaring to me that he acted upon hints received 
 from me, and the following summer we celebrated, 
 with great success, our first annual singers' festival. 
 
 When I saw Diesterweg in Berlin, he was very enthu- 
 siastic about preparing and causing all over Germany 
 a grand celebration of the centennial anniversary of 
 Pestalozzi's birth-day. 
 
 He asked me to work for it at home. Accordingly 
 I invited some teachers to meet for a consultation. We 
 agreed upon the necessary expedients, and the result 
 of our exertions was most gratifying. The teachers 
 of the whole province responded to our invitation and 
 met in full numbers on the appointed day. We had 
 not invited any ministers, even not the teachers of the 
 college who were men educated at a university. Thus 
 entire harmony, equality, freedom and conviviality 
 reigned during our festival which began with speeches, 
 poems, discussions and singing, and ended with a din- 
 ner which was enlivened by appropriate toasts aud 
 refreshing, unreserved conversation. The fruit of this 
 festival was the formation of teachers* conferences viz. 
 
144 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 monthly meetings 'of the teachers of several small 
 districts, and annual meetings of the teachers of the 
 whole province. 
 
 I had the pleasure of witnessing, for a few years, 
 the beneficent results of these institutions, and later, 
 I have had friendly greetings from them sent over to 
 me across the ocean. 
 
 If I was thus partly engaged in unwelcome duties 
 and partly in self-chosen and welcome labors, still I 
 had plenty of time left to employ for some other pur- 
 pose, and this time I did employ most fully and assid- 
 uously in — worldly enjoyments. Before dinner, I went, 
 as others did, to a club to " sharpen one's appetite," 
 to hear the news, to pass away the time. On those 
 afternoons which were free from school-duties, I went 
 to some coffee garden outside of the city where play- 
 ing ninepins was the usual amusement. In the eve- 
 ning I went, once every week, or every fortnight, to 
 the " aristocratic " glee-club, once to the burghers' 
 glee-club, once to a singing society for ladies and gen- 
 tlemen, once to the glee-club which I had formed while 
 living with my parents. 
 
 On those evenings which brought nothing particular, 
 I went to a club where we conversed and drank, and 
 played cards and lotto ; or I passed the evening with 
 some friends at home over a glass of beer, or wine, or 
 a bowl of punch. I was a member of three different 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 145 
 
 dancing societies or casinos, the aristocratic, the citi- 
 zens', and the young men's casino. 
 
 These societies had monthly festivities, and thus I 
 danced on three Sunday evenings, every month. Be- 
 sides I went to almost all the balls which were arranged 
 on other days, on some particular occasion. 
 
 Thus days, months and years of my life passed 
 away — apparently the most delightful source of activ- 
 ity and happiness, and yet in fact only a whirl, a 
 constant change of burdensome duties and of a round 
 of enjoyments and gaieties. The latter seemed to be 
 the only means of appeasing the soul's longing for 
 something to interest itself in. When I, sometimes 
 during a conversation with my parents, hinted at this 
 unsatisfactory state of things, my mother always 
 recommended to me, as she believed, a panacea by 
 advising me to take a situation as teacher and organist 
 in the country, to get married and thus quietly to 
 settle down. But I would not listen to such an advice. 
 I would not leave the city again. And while in the 
 city I could not think of getting married. I was not 
 willing to deny myself the worldly enjoyments for 
 which I was then, as a single person, fully able to pay, 
 but which I could not have afforded in married life. 
 Moreover, any of the ladies with whom I associated, 
 and who then considered me as their equal, would 
 hardly have been willing to descend into the station 
 10 
 
146 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 of a primary teacher's wife. And to marry any one 
 who would have seemed inferior to these ladies — this 
 idea was too revolting to me, seriously to occupy my 
 thoughts. 
 
 Fortunately an event happened which brought to a 
 close (or at least to a crisis) this dangerous state of 
 wavering between moral and spiritual life and death. 
 Like a thunderbolt the news of the French revolution 
 (Feb. 1848) burst upon our quiet and peaceful lives. 
 
 It produced in me, as well as in others, an enthu- 
 siasm, almost a delirium, such as I had never experi- 
 enced and witnessed before. Nor do I think that I 
 should be able ever to experience such a feeling 
 again ; it was too beautiful, too intense 'to bless a man's 
 life more than once. Truly if it is as poets say, that 
 man can love only once, it is no less certain that such 
 a patriotic enthusiasm never can be rekindled when it 
 has died away. And alas ! the flames which the 
 French revolution in '48 kindled in so many hearts, 
 were extinguished so very, very soon ! 
 
 However, if the events of that Spring afterwards 
 seemed to be but a pleasant fleeting dream; at the 
 time, at least, they were as intense a reality as any- 
 thing can be. To me they were for a short time 
 identified with life itself, because they opened to me 
 a new world, or rather a new era into which the thirst- 
 ing soul could look with new hopes of universal regen 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 147 
 
 oration and of finding a stay and contents for an 
 individual life, full of meaning and utility. 
 
 I must not attempt to give an outline of the 
 events of that time in general. We, in our remote 
 part of Germany, could take only a general, sympa- 
 thizing interest in the general affairs of Europe, or 
 even of our fatherland ; but we had besides enough to 
 do — practically, in our own state. Though our gov- 
 ernment had not treated its subjects quite so badly as 
 many others in Germany had done, still, this was only 
 the consequence of the Grand-duke's forbearance and 
 of other accidental circumstances. 
 
 Our civil rights had not been established; we had 
 no guarantee for being governed with justice and 
 equity. The sovereigns of Germany had promised 
 their subjects a constitution when the nation had so 
 heroically risen to free the country from Napoleon's 
 dominion. But the Grand-dukes of Oldenburg had 
 not fulfilled that promise ; they had not even given a 
 mock constitution as most other German sovereigns 
 had done. We had no jury, no freedom of the press, 
 no militia. We were not allowed to hold meetings of 
 any kind without permission from government officers. 
 No parish, or county business could be transacted; 
 no institutions could be carried on by the people them- 
 selves without the supervision and interference of the 
 government. 
 
148 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 The sovereign gave no account of the use he made 
 of the taxes which were, moreover, imposed and col- 
 lected without the people's consent ; nohody knew how 
 much of the public revenues was used for government 
 purposes, and how much for the Grand-duke's own 
 court. 
 
 All this flashed upon the minds of the people as 
 soon as the French revolution gave an impulse to 
 political discussion and activity. And as our govern- 
 ment, as well as the others, seemed to he paralyzed, 
 we felt entirely free to follow the impetus of the 
 moment. The town in which I lived, was the foremost 
 in the movement. 
 
 From one of the mass meetings we held, we sent a 
 deputation of five citizens to the Grand-duke to peti- 
 tion for a constitution. We requested them to send 
 word if the Grand-duke did not yield, and we would 
 come at a minute's warning to support their petition 
 by the threats, and if need be, by the use of arms. 
 
 The Grand-duke yielded, and, I think, in better 
 faith than most of the other sovereigns, for we had 
 very soon almost all we wished for at the moment. 
 A legislature was chosen on tolerably liberal princi- 
 ples ; it framed a constitution, and the Grand-duke 
 accepted the same, though it granted, perhaps, more 
 to the people than any other limited monarchy on the 
 continent. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 149 
 
 In all the movements which accompanied and im- 
 mediately followed this great change, I took an intense 
 interest and as active a part as circumstances allowed. 
 I cannot tell with what sanguine hopes I advocated 
 and assisted the formation of a burgher-guard, or 
 opened and recommenced in the Spring the military 
 and gymnastic exercises of the college students, or 
 tried to do some good by speaking in public meetings 
 and by writing for the press. And when the legis- 
 lature had almost finished its general work and was 
 expected soon to deliberate about special laws and 
 institutions, there were new incentives for hopeful 
 activity. 
 
 I engaged in bringing about a general conference 
 of the primary teachers of our province where the 
 future organization of the schools was discussed. A 
 committee was chosen to draft a sketch of a " school- 
 law and to send it with a petition to the legislature. 
 I acted as secretary and was busy day and night, until 
 the matter had been discussed, indicted, accepted, 
 signed by the whole body, and dispatched to the legis- 
 lature. 
 
 While being thus concerned about the institutions 
 of my native state, I watched as most others did, the 
 progress of national affairs with the intensest interest. 
 We believed our most sanguine hopes would be realized. 
 At national and provincial singing festivals we had so 
 
150 
 
 TIIE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 often sung our beautiful national hymn : " what is 
 the German's fatherland"? We believed that this 
 question would now be answered in a satisfactory 
 manner; that Germany would be one in fact and not 
 only in name ; that it would be harmonious and free 
 within and respected abroad, its national flag " black, 
 red and gold" being admitted, recognized and saluted 
 on all the oceans of the globe. Alas ! how cruelly 
 were such hopes deceived ! The Parliament in Frank- 
 fort talked while they ought to have acted, and soon 
 all prospects of national greatness, unity, freedom 
 and honor were lost, buried under the political, if not 
 the moral ruin of the popular and truly democratic 
 movement. 
 
 The governments awoke from the lethargy into 
 which fear and momentary impotence had thrown 
 them, and either guided by base love of tyranny, 
 or deluded by a blind belief in their own rights and 
 usefulness, they drew the reins of law and violence 
 tighter than ever before, and crushed the national 
 movement. And very soon, when the "reaction" felt 
 its own strength, the new liberal institutions of the 
 single states were also abolished, or at least greatly 
 modified. In my native state the constitution was 
 revised, and robbed of many of its best features ; and 
 the special laws we had expected, were either given up, 
 or appeared mangled and curtailed. The people and 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 151 
 
 their leaders made all this easy for the governments. 
 The masses, on the whole, showed no energy, and in 
 the few instances where they did show their strength, 
 there it ended in deeds of violence and cruelty against 
 the life and property of their oppressors, and some- 
 times even of innocent persons. 
 
 The leaders of the democratic party were not all 
 pure patriots ; many tried to use the masses merely 
 as a pedestal for their own aggrandizement. The 
 well-meaning and virtuous among the people and its 
 leaders, were either too slow to move and to act at 
 the right time, or too trustful, hoping that the govern- 
 ments and everybody else would now do right with- 
 out being watched, urged, or subdued, as if all on a 
 sudden the time had come when the lion and the 
 lamb would peacefully lie down together. If there 
 were any men who were free from all selfishness, and 
 had at the same time a large heart and a clear head, 
 they .were either crashed by the pressure from above 
 and from below, or their efforts were at least fruitless, 
 because they were isolated and badly supported. 
 
 I do not mention these sad occurrences and experi- 
 ences, for the sake of blaming others, and of complain- 
 ing about the ignorance, perverseness and meanness 
 of individuals, or of the masses. No man has a right 
 to complain of others, until he has exhausted all the 
 means for guiding and improving them, that are at 
 
152 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 his command. When a man sees that the leaders of 
 the people are not wise, or virtuous enough to carry 
 their fellow-citizens to the goal of liberty, justice and 
 prosperity, then he ought to aspire to being leader 
 himself, if he will deserve the name of a true patriot. 
 He ought not to give up struggling for such a posi- 
 tion, as long as there is a breath of life in him, and 
 he may be sure, if he is the man, if he is wise, coura- 
 geous and sincere — then he will be the chief, and he 
 will lead his people gloriously, through all difficulties 
 and dangers, to the goal before them — if it is God's 
 will. 
 
 If a man fails in any undertaking, though he 
 thinks he has acted prudently and has used all the 
 means he could use, then let him be sure of this thing : 
 he has failed either because his undertaking was not 
 in accordance with God's plan for the universe, for the 
 earth, for the human race, for the destiny of individ- 
 uals, or because the undertaking was intended to pro- 
 mote some selfish end. Accordance with God's will 
 and absence of egoism, these are the two things which 
 make a man infallible and sure of success ; within the 
 sphere prescribed by these limits, he is christlike, god- 
 like — almighty. He may lose his life in the cause 
 he struggles for, but his death will be the victory of 
 his cause; the individual may perish, but the spirit 
 will live ; short-sighted mortal witnesses may deem 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 153 
 
 such a hero and martyr unfortunate and his attempts 
 a failure ; but future ages and their history will un- 
 fold the secret and testify to his success. 
 
 This truth we find verified in the history of the 
 heroes and martyrs of all ages — and in no instance 
 more strikingly, more divinely true than in the histo- 
 ry of the founder of our religion. 
 
 At the time of which I have been writing, this 
 truth had never been clearly brought home to my 
 mind, and there was not a vestige of such a genuine 
 heroism in me. No wonder, therefore, that I then 
 thought I had a right to complain of others, to grieve 
 about the mistakes and crimes that were committed, 
 to be discouraged by the sorrowful and miserable end 
 of a political and social revolution which seemed so 
 bright and promising in the beginning. 
 
 The last tie which had retained me in a worthy and 
 ennobling union with my fellow-men, began to loosen ; 
 the last star which had shone in the firmament of my 
 moral and spiritual world, faded away, and all around 
 me became darkness and utter ruin. 
 
 For the sake of merely making a living, I could 
 not continue my business ; or with other words, my 
 maxim was not that which Werner advocates in his 
 letter to Wilhem Meister : " Perform your business, 
 make money, enjoy yourself with your kindred, and 
 concern yourself about the remainder of the world no 
 
154 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 more than as far as you can make it subservient to 
 your own advantage.' 7 
 
 On the one hand teaching seemed, therefore, to me 
 too hard a business to undertake it for so mean an 
 object. 
 
 And really it began to be harder and harder for me. 
 I would not give up being punctual and faithful ; still 
 I could not interest myself in the duty of the hour, 
 and consequently could not interest my scholars, so 
 that it was hard for me to make them progress in 
 their studies, and without rigorous measures to keep 
 them in as strict obedience and order as I wished to. 
 On the other hand teaching seemed to me too noble a 
 task to be undertaken without an inward calling, 
 without faith, without love. This love of children, 
 love of individuals on the whole which is so necessary 
 for a teacher — I was destitute of it ; I knew I was 
 destitute of it, and I knew, therefore, that I could 
 not be successful and happy as a teacher. 
 
 My love to mankind in general, my faith in its 
 worthiness of being cared for, had been shaken. I 
 know I did not lose my faith in the perfectibility of 
 mankind. I recollect I spoke one day of the causes 
 which made the revolution of that epoch a failure. I 
 said it would take a long time to prepare the nations 
 of Europe for a republican government ; education 
 ought first to dispel ignorance and immorality. A 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 155 
 
 friend replied to this : " Thus you think that we 
 teachers are the real revolutionists of the future?" 
 1 replied in the affirmative. Still I did not feel the 
 mental and moral capacity in me, to do a great work 
 as a teacher, and I was not self-sacrificing enough 
 willingly to be a humble member of that noble band 
 of revolutionists, to resolve upon a life of toil and 
 resignation, and yet to be insignificant, to disappear 
 like a drop of water in the Ocean. 
 
 My religion was at that time purely negative in its 
 influence upon my actions. I believed in God's 
 supremacy over the world and mankind, so far that I 
 considered it man's duty to look upon his life as a 
 gift from God, which he had no right wilfully to 
 give up. Consequently I never was in danger of de- 
 termining upon suicide as the means of ridding my- 
 self of my earthly existence, though during that 
 gloomy period, life seemed to me a riddle, or perhaps 
 a thing without meaning, yea, an intolerable burden. 
 
 I went even further in the path of duty. I 
 acknowledged to myself that man had no right to do 
 evil, and ought not, therefore, to harm any of his fel- 
 low creatures. But I settled down into a state of 
 mind which enforced no other religious or moral obli- 
 gations. I looked upon the world as an institution, 
 which for aught I knew, might be ruled on a fixed 
 plan by a supreme intellect, but where minor human 
 
156 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 affairs certainly were ruled by mere superiority of 
 intellect. 
 
 At that time I suppose I had no clear idea of the 
 practical difference between faith, belief, and creed. 
 Otherwise I could not have dared to do what I did 
 during the last public examination I participated in, 
 at the school where I taught. When I reviewed the 
 religious instruction I had given to my class, I ven- 
 tured publicly to affirm that the " spirit " (or intellect 
 rather than faith) was the victory which overcometh 
 the world. 
 
 I will not dwell upon the mental agony which I 
 endured during that period where outward reality and 
 inward conviction most flagrantly contrasted with each 
 other; where one feeling of duty urged me in one, 
 and another in another direction ; where conflicting 
 feelings prompted me to wish for a change, and then 
 again for the permanency of actual circumstances. 
 For some time I tried to reconcile myself to my condi- 
 tion, but it was in vain. My duties became more and 
 more burdensome to me ; every day I counted the 
 hours and minutes which my duties required me to 
 spend in teaching, and wished every evening the last 
 minute would come. 
 
 I sought gay society for the sake of losing myself 
 and of escaping from the tantalizing consciousness of 
 an unwelcome slavery. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 157 
 
 At last, however, this state began to be really insup- 
 portable, and after a long inward struggle I burst 
 my bonds, and resolved upon leaving off teaching at 
 all hazards. I had no definite idea of what I should 
 do, after that. I only knew I would not be a teacher 
 for merely worldly ends, and I was not and thought I 
 could not be a teacher with philanthropic, charitable 
 and self-sacrificing views and feelings, so that I thought 
 I could neither submit to being a teacher, nor dare to 
 be one. 
 
 I cannot express my state of mind in any better 
 way, than by saying that I resolved upon making a 
 compromise with the human race, with the outside 
 world, and with its Creator. I would patiently bear 
 the burden of life ; I would spend it in a harmless 
 way ; would not require and claim from others any- 
 thing except the mere permission to exist, but would 
 also not allow anybody to require anything from me 
 except noninterference. Thus I disclaimed all human 
 and social rights and duties. 
 
 The causes which urged me into such a resolution, 
 were so weighty, and I had considered the matter so 
 seriously, that my determination could not be shaken 
 by any influence, that was brought to bear upon it 
 and to work against it, as soon as I made it known to 
 others. My parents tried to persuade me to remain 
 in my situation, by counting up all the outward 
 
158 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 advantages I derived from it, but I told them these 
 were just what I did not wish for; I would not abuse, 
 for worldly purposes, the business of training dozens 
 and hundreds of intellects and hearts without having 
 myself a heart for them. 
 
 Further, my mother's advice of settling in the 
 country I could not heed, though now for reasons 
 differing from former ones. I was now willing to 
 give up city life and city enjoyments, but I was not 
 willing to give them up, and yet to continue teaching. 
 My eldest sister warned me not to grieve our parents 
 by giving up the future they had augured for me ; 
 but I told her our parents would not require me to 
 be unhappy all my life, merely for the sake of not 
 acting contrary to their wishes and expectations; they 
 would rather see me made happy by following my own 
 convictions, than sure of being unhappy by following 
 theirs. 
 
 There were very few other friends to whom I com- 
 municated my resolution at this stage of its develop- 
 ment, for I found very soon that it was of no use to 
 do so. It was too difficult to make any one fully 
 understand the inward necessity which forced me into 
 this resolution without revealing to them my whole 
 mode of thinking and feeling. And this I did not 
 like to do, because I thought it could not do anybody 
 any good, and might do harm to some. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 159 
 
 For the sake of carrying out my views and plans I 
 had now to choose some employment which would 
 afford me the means of existence, without laying upon 
 me any other duty, hut that of honesty, especially 
 without engaging me in any labor directly tending 
 to the intellectual, or moral improvement of man- 
 kind. But here many difficulties arose in my path. 
 
 The laws and customs of my native country make 
 it very difficult for any one to change his place of 
 residence, and still more difficult to change his occupa- 
 tion. All professions and trades must be learned in 
 a regular way by going through a prescribed course 
 of education or training. To become a minister, a 
 physician, an apothecary, a surgeon, a veterinarian, a 
 lawyer, a civil officer &c, one must have been at 
 college and the university, or in some particular 
 institution. To become a merchant of any kind, even 
 a retail grocer, one must have been apprenticed in 
 that business. 
 
 To be allowed to settle as an artisan of any kind, 
 one must have been an apprentice, a journey-man, a 
 travelling-artisan (for two years) ; one must have 
 made a master-piece, and even then it depends upon 
 the court's particular opinion whether there is room 
 for one, whether to allow him to settle even in his 
 native place, and to open a shop for himself. Clerk- 
 ships in government offices &c, are usually given to 
 
160 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 officers and subalterns who wish, or are expected to 
 retire from military service. Farming is hardly 
 taken up by any one who is not trained for it. The 
 law does not really forbid doing so, but makes it very 
 difficult, and then public opinion does not think very 
 highly of " latin farmers as the country people 
 used to call persons of a liberal education who took 
 up farming without a previous practical knowledge 
 of it. 
 
 On the whole, public opinion was apt to hold in 
 low estimation every one, who gave up the occupation 
 which he had chosen in his early life, or into which 
 he had perhaps been driven in his youth. The only 
 business which did not seem peremptorily to require 
 a particular training, and which was open to any one, 
 was that of keeping a tavern, i. e. not of opening one 
 when, and where a person might choose, but of buy- 
 ing, or renting one of those hotels, taverns, inns, 
 club-houses, or coffee-gardens which the courts might 
 allow to exist, (with an occasional permission of 
 adding a new one.) Still even here, public opinion 
 was in favor of persons who had been for years wait- 
 ers in hotels &c. 
 
 With this state of affairs, I found very soon, that 
 there was not much hope for me to find another 
 occupation. I applied to the government for the 
 situation of clerk in the post office in our town, where 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 161 
 
 there was a vacancy just then. This place would not 
 have yielded me half of the income which I had at 
 that time. It would have made it impossible for me 
 to continue my expensive mode of living and of 
 enjoying myself. Through this circumstance and 
 through its own social inferiority it would probably 
 have compelled me to leave the " first and best soci- 
 ety/ 7 in which I had moved so far. Still I was wil- 
 ling to make such a sacrifice only for the sake of no 
 longer having the responsibility of teaching. The 
 situation, however, was not given to me ; some one 
 was preferred because he had been " trained " in that 
 business. 
 
 I met with no better success when I applied for the 
 place of auctioneer, which the government advertised 
 as being vacant in another province of the state. 
 Afterwards I wrote to one of the Grand-duke's coun- 
 sellors who knew about me. I asked him to procure 
 for me some situation in any government office, what- 
 ever it might be, where I might support myself by 
 writing. 
 
 This also proved to be of no avail, and I began by 
 degrees to become familiar with the idea that I should 
 be obliged to leave the country, as I would not con- 
 tinue my actual business, and could not find any 
 other. 
 
 I knew it would be infinitely more grievous to my 
 11 
 
162 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 parents to see me leave my home and country, than 
 to see me change my business, and I was, therefore, 
 willing to descend into any station of insignificance 
 and inferiority at home, rather than to emigrate. It 
 would have been preposterous in me, at my age and 
 in my condition, to begin learning a trade according 
 to law and custom, but I really made up my mind to 
 be an inn-keeper. In a village, a few miles from my 
 parents' home, an inn was advertised for sale, or to 
 let. The evening before the day appointed for the 
 public sale I walked home, and entreated my father 
 to consent to my taking that place, and asked him to 
 become my security. He would not listen to the 
 project, and thus my last hope seemed to be cut off. 
 I think at least this was the last expedient I could 
 devise. 
 
 It occurs to me I forgot above to mention that 
 peddling needed no special training and no other 
 permission than a license, and it is really a fact that 
 I looked upon a few peddlers with some thoughts .of 
 myself, meditating whether I should follow their 
 example. But I could not seriously resolve upon 
 doing so, because peddling was no regular trade ; it 
 was not resorted to except perhaps by half a dozen of 
 persons in a whole province, and on account of small 
 profits and poor trade, they were obliged to carry so 
 large burdens on their backs, that I knew I should 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 163 
 
 not be able to lead such a life from want of strength. 
 
 When I saw that there was no other alternative ; 
 that I had either to continue my business, or to 
 emigrate, I resolved upon the latter. But truly, I 
 did not resolve upon this joyfully or willingly. I 
 had never before been conversant with the idea of 
 existing and maintaining myself in a doubtful and 
 adventurous way ; I had never been reckless or uncon- 
 cerned about the future, or courageous enough to 
 think of striking out a path for myself, and calmly 
 to encounter vicissitudes, dangers and misfortunes. 
 Thus I wished, just as little on my own account as on 
 that of my parents, to leave my native country. 
 Still as I believed to owe it to myself and to the 
 world to give up teaching, I could without scruples 
 resign to the necessity of emigrating which seemed 
 to be the unavoidable consequence of my previous 
 determination. 
 
 When this necessity was to my mind a fixed fact, 
 I had some difficulty in choosing between several ways 
 that were open to me, or rather in finding any way 
 that might seem to be practicable. At that time the 
 discovery of the gold mines in California was of a 
 recent date, and I noticed what effect this news had 
 on thousands of minds that were as unsettled as 
 mine. Still I was never for a minute tempted to 
 join the throng that hastened to the Eldorado. The 
 
164 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 rapid acquisition of wealth had nothing tempting for 
 me; what I wanted and needed was tranquillity and 
 peace of mind, and I knew that gold could not give 
 that to me. 
 
 Australia was also much talked of, at that time ; 
 its gold mines had not yet been discovered, hut it 
 seemed to be the most desirable part of the globe, for 
 farming purposes. A person could in no way be 
 successful there, if he could not rely upon himself 
 alone, particularly on his bodily self. This considera- 
 tion prevented me from fixing my hopes on the plan 
 of going there. 
 
 More seriously I turned my thoughts and desires 
 towards the West Indies and South America, where I 
 might hope to find some solitary spot, which under 
 the benign influence of a mild and propitious climate 
 would easily afford me shelter and the means of 
 supporting a frugal, simple life. I happened just 
 then to read Indiana by George Sand, and I have 
 even now a lively recollection of the entire satisfac- 
 tion the end of the story gave me, if I except the 
 attempt of the lovers to destroy their lives, by throw- 
 ing themselves down the precipice. Surely it was 
 nothing but want of independence, of courage and of 
 self-reliance, that prevented me from going to the 
 tropical regions for the sake of leading there the life 
 of an anchorite. 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 165 
 
 At last I fixed upon the idea that a person might 
 live a solitary life in a large city more easily than 
 anywhere else, if he could avoid being engaged in a 
 business which would bring him into close relations 
 to his fellow-men. I resolved, therefore, upon going 
 to the United States, to the land of religious, political, 
 social and individual freedom, and to live there, in a 
 large city, without forming any more acquaintances, 
 than I could help forming ; without taking more 
 duties upon me, than I could help taking ; without 
 expecting from the world around me anything for my 
 enjoyment ; without trying to earn anything beyond 
 what was necessary merely to clothe and feed me. 
 The best way in which I could attain this end, seemed 
 to be the employment of book-keeper ; this would 
 not bring me in contact with many persons, and would 
 not impose any duty upon me, except regularity, 
 exactness and honesty. 
 
 When I had settled the whole affair in my mind, 
 I made my intention known wherever I was obliged 
 to do so, but I received no approval from any side. 
 My parents, it is true, gave up contending against 
 my fixed purpose, but their silent grief was more 
 eloquent than serious remonstrances would have been. 
 
 When I asked the consistory to dismiss me from 
 the State's service without obliging my father, or 
 myself to refund to the Seminary a certain sum which 
 
166 
 
 THE PROBLEM OE LIFE, OR 
 
 was stipulated for such cases, my request was granted, 
 and an honoring testimony of dismissal was sent to 
 me. Previously to obtaining this, I had corresponded 
 with the director of the Seminary concerning this 
 matter, and received from him the following private 
 letter : 
 
 " My dear Carstens, 
 
 Your letter in which you announce to me your 
 intention of leaving the school (i. e. the State's 
 service as teacher), has surprised me — not in a pleas- 
 ant way — and also our inspector G. whom I informed 
 of it yesterday. We both are convinced that the 
 scJiool has had an efficient laborer in you, and that it 
 would continue to find you such a one, if you would 
 remain faithful to it. I must, therefore, really con- 
 sider it my duty, once more most seriously to urge 
 upon you the question whether you have very care- 
 fully considered everything which was to be considered 
 in this case. 
 
 As far as I could see into it, you allege as the sole 
 motive for your determination, a want of internal 
 satisfaction with the efficacy of your labors, or — what 
 I suppose to be the same — the consciousness of the 
 incapability of realizing an ideal which exists in your 
 imagination. It seems to me — allow me to say this 
 — you act neither reasonably nor rightly, if by such 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 167 
 
 a feeling — however noble it may be, considered from 
 another side — you allow yourself to be induced to 
 give up a vocation which, as far as I know, you have 
 hitherto discharged to the great satisfaction of your 
 superiors and of the parents of your scholars. 
 
 An ideal includes the conception of a perfection 
 which needs not to be in actual existence, though it 
 may be imagined to exist. But pray, my dear C, to 
 what mortal is it granted to realize his ideal ! What 
 minister, for instance, could ever laud himself for 
 preaching as our Lord Jesus Christ preached, or for 
 being such a pastor as St. Paul, or St. John was ! 
 Or to take for an example a vocation of a lower 
 order : what watchmaker could ever boast of furnish- 
 ing, as often as he chose, a watch of an entirely 
 faultless motion? Does not also the apostle who 
 could congratulate himself upon having worked and 
 effected the most, say explicitly : ' Not as though I 
 had already attained &c.' ? Now, what would become 
 of the world, if every one whom the relative imperfec- 
 tion of his labors grieves, would directly give up and 
 relinquish, on this account, the business which has 
 been allotted to him ? Our activity, if it shall cor- 
 respond to the principle of the moral law which is 
 founded in the nature of man, must be regulated 
 by rules, concerning which we ought to desire that 
 they should be the universal maxim of human activ- 
 
168 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 ity. With great and decided pertinence says, there- 
 fore, a noble German poet ; 1 He who has done enough, 
 according to the opinion of the noblest of his own age, 
 has lived for all ages/ Such a one may certainly be 
 satisfied with his own efforts, though he himself may 
 feel most strongly that they do not correspond to the 
 ideal in his head and heart. 
 
 Herein also lies the truth of the paradox : 1 The 
 better Christian, the greater sinner ; ' — because 
 nobody is more distant from true Christianity, than 
 the self-righteous who is not willing to find himself 
 guilty of any sin. 
 
 But why should 1 give you still more examples and 
 proofs of a truth which you surely must acknowledge 
 yourself? Whether you, therefore, can justify it 
 before yourself, before the school, before the children 
 who are to be educated, before their parents &c, to 
 give up laboring as a teacher, merely on account of 
 that feeling of not being satisfied with yourself as 
 such, in spite of the consciousness of having satisfied 
 competent judges of your labor, of your results — this 
 certainly deserves to be weighed very seriously, 
 before you carry out your intention. 
 
 Besides, I think I ought also to ask you what your 
 good father says to it, for although you are no longer, 
 in the common acceptance of the term, under the con- 
 trol of parental power, still, just as every son and 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 
 
 169 
 
 daughter whose father is living, you stand in a filial 
 relation to him which certainly requires you not to do 
 anything by which a father's heart might he grieved, 
 or offended, or filled with uneasiness and care. You 
 do not mention your father in your letter to me,- 
 which, as I must frankly confess, has surprised me a 
 little, since I know that he is still living. Nor do 
 you say to what vocation you will turn, if you give 
 up teaching — which at all events ought to be a call- 
 ing of which you would be sure beforehand, that your 
 endeavors in it would correspond to the ideal which 
 might be formed of it. 
 
 I should be exceedingly rejoiced, if, after another 
 revision and investigation of your motives for relin- 
 quishing the vocation of teacher, you could look upon 
 the affair in another way, and could change the reso- 
 lution you have now formed. I cannot imagine that 
 you would find any cause for repenting of such an 
 inconstancy, if you would like to call it thus. But I 
 can very well imagine the opposite. " 
 
 After having given some kind advice about the 
 technicalities connected with the request of being 
 allowed not to pay the stipulated sum to the Seminary, 
 the letter concludes thus : 
 
170 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 " Although with regret, still I should willingly coun- 
 tenance your request, since I should be obliged to 
 believe that you could not act differently. But may 
 God grant that I need not do it ; — I mean, that you 
 take another, a better view of the matter, and that 
 we retain you as a co-laborer in the service of the 
 schools of our country. With this hope I bid you, 
 for the mean time, adieu, and beg you to keep me in 
 kind remembrance." 
 
 This letter, however cogent and affecting I felt it to 
 be, could not make me waver in my determination. 
 
 From the people with whom I had daily intercourse, 
 I had to hear various opinions about myself and about 
 my intention of going to America. Some thought 
 they were sure I should soon come back; others 
 thought I was born to be a teacher ; others believed 
 I was too proud any longer to be a teacher ; some sup- 
 posed that I had a desire to become rich, and that I 
 hoped to attain this end in America. Truly, they all 
 knew very little about the state of my mind, or if 
 they did, they could not appreciate it. 
 
 The superintendent of the schools told me, I might 
 depart, but if I should, within a short time, change 
 my mind, I might return ; they would keep the situa- 
 tion at my disposal. 
 
 All comfort I had from others, was that several 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 171 
 
 friends expressed a hope I might succeed in America, 
 and many thought I could easily make my way in the 
 mercantile world. My former teacher of mathemat- 
 ics said, I could go West, and be a surveyor, if I could 
 find no other employment. My landlady came one 
 morning after a ball into my room, and after compli- 
 menting me on a speech I had made at table, she 
 added, that her husband said, I could not be badly off 
 in America ; if I failed in every thing else, I might 
 turn to preaching. 
 
 To notice that all other people doubted the necessi- 
 ty, or even the wisdom of the step I intended to take, 
 was a source of great grief to me, and a thing not 
 easily to be borne, but it led me also to a more serious 
 investigation, and finally to greater confidence in my- 
 self, and to a firmer belief in the necessity of persist- 
 ing in my resolution. It was, therefore, the very 
 means to make the execution of my plan less grievous 
 and difficult to me. 
 
 My departure did not need much preparation. At 
 the end of the winter term of our school (March 1849) 
 I resigned my situation. I sold my piano and the 
 few articles of furniture I had, and thus I procured 
 money enough to pay my passage, and to support my- 
 self for a month or two in America, if I should not 
 find some occupation at once. I also sold my little 
 library, not only because I might need the trifling sum, 
 
172 
 
 THE PROBLEM OF LIFE, OR 
 
 which I knew it would bring, but because I wished to 
 get rid of the books, which I thought I should never 
 desire again to look at. 
 
 I will not dwell upon the feelings with which, very 
 soon after, I parted from niy parents, and from other 
 relatives and friends, or as I ought to say perhaps, 
 the feelings with which they saw me departing. I 
 suppose I have no idea of what my parents suffered. 
 As for myself, I might have had cause enough for 
 being overpowered by grief, for I knew that I gave up 
 a great deal, and did not know what fate I should 
 meet with. I did not expect, and could not believe 
 that I should ever have the means to return home, if 
 I should wish sooner or later to do so, and thus I 
 could not hope ever to see my parents and friends 
 again upon this earth. Moreover, I had no guarantee 
 that I should be able to make my way clear in Amer- 
 ica ; I had hardly any acquaintances there, and pos- 
 sessed very few practical capacities whereupon to build 
 my hopes. 
 
 Still, after all, I must say, that I parted from my 
 kindred, my home, and my country, with a heart not 
 so heavy as such circumstances would seem to indicate. 
 Life had been such a burden to me, that any change 
 whatever could not fail to be welcome, and that I had 
 fortitude enough to bear up under the pressure of the 
 saddening feelings which were awakened within and 
 
RELIGION AND SOCIETY IN GERMANY. 173 
 
 around me, when I thus exchanged an apparently 
 bright reality, against a dark and gloomy future. 
 
 In order to make my narrative complete, I ought 
 to add, what I gained, or lost hy this important 
 change. A recital of the principal events of the fol- 
 lowing nine years of my life, and of their influence on 
 my mind, would show in what direction my religious 
 views and feelings were developed, as well concern- 
 ing the life of an individual as concerning the princi- 
 pal denominations of Christians in general. How- 
 ever, I cannot attempt such an undertaking at present. 
 So much, nevertheless, I know, if it is God's will yet 
 to spare my life and strength for sometime, I shall try 
 to accomplish this task. 
 
 In the meantime, I will wish that all my readers 
 may he graciously preserved from ever falling into 
 such a deplorable state of mind as that one by which 
 I was driven away from my home and my native 
 country. But if God in his wisdom should allow any 
 of them to be thus afflicted, I wish them to come out 
 of the labyrinth of doubt and sorrow, by a shorter 
 and less rugged way than the one I have been obliged 
 to travel for nine long, weary years. 
 
 THE END. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Chap. I. General Remarks on Religion 3 
 
 Chap. II. General Remarks on Religious Sects 24 
 
 Chap. III. Reminiscences of Childhood 35 
 
 Chap. IV. Boyhood 50 
 
 Chap. Y. Youth 69 
 
 Chap. VI. Early Manhood. First Period 96 
 
 Chap. VII. Early Manhood. Second Period 123 
 
 Chap. VIH. Early Manhood, Third Period 139 
 
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