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 THE 
 
 WILLIAM R. PERKINS 
 
 UBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 DUKE UNIVERSITY 
 
 Rare Books 
 
A M 
 
 EXTRACT 
 
 OF THl. 
 
 I 
 
 OF THE LATE 
 
 Rev. DAVID BRAINERD, 
 
 Mijfwnary ta the Indians^ 
 
 By J II N WESLEY, M. A, 
 
 THE THIRD EDITION. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed by G, P a r a m o R E, North-Green, Worffiip- 
 Strect; and fold by G. Whitfield, at the Chapel, City- 
 Road; and at the Meihodift Preaching-iloufes ia Tawij 
 and Ccuntiy. i7S;3. 
 

 487145 
 

 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 npHOSE parts of the following Hi/lory 
 that are included between brackets thu$ 
 [[ ], are the words of the publifher, Mr. 
 Jon^^than Edwards, minijler (^/'Northampton 
 in New-England, ybr the moji part famarily 
 reprejenting the chief things contained in Mr. 
 Brainerd's diary : the reft is the account that 
 he gives of himjelj in his private writings^ 
 in his own words. 
 
A N 
 
 E XT R A C T 
 
 O ? THE 
 
 LIFE 
 
 OP THE nATB 
 
 Hev. DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 PART I. 
 
 Irom his Birth, to the time he began it> devote him/eif 
 to the Study of Divinity*. 
 
 MR. David Brainerd was born April 20, 1718^ 
 at Haddam, a town belonging to the county 
 of Hartford, in the colony of Connefticut, New- 
 England. His father, who died when he waj 
 about nine years of age, was the Worfhipful 
 Hezekiah Brainerd, Efq; one of his Majcfly's 
 council for that colony, and the fon of Daniel 
 Brainerd, Efq: a jullice of the peace, and a deacon 
 of the church in Haddam. His mother was Mrs- 
 Dorothy Hobart, daughter to the Rev, Mr, 
 Jeremiah Hobart, who preached awhile at Tops- 
 field, and then removed to Hempftead on Long- 
 ifland, and afterwards came and fettled in the work 
 of the miniflry at Haddam ; where he died in the 
 85th year of his age : of which it is remarkable, 
 Uiai he went to the public worfhip in the for-e- 
 A 3. nooiv 
 
( 6 ) 
 
 noon, and died in his chair between meetings, 
 Mr David Brainerd, was the third fon of his 
 parents. They had five Tons and four daughters. 
 Their eldefl: fon is Hezekiah Brainerd, Efq; a 
 juftice of the peace, and for feveral years palt a 
 reprefentative of the town of Haddam, in the ge- 
 neral affembly of Connefticut colony; thefecond 
 was the Reverend Nehemiah Brainerd, a worthy 
 xninifter at Eaflbury in Connefticut, who died 
 of a Confumption Nov. lo, 1742; the fourth is 
 Mr. John Brainerd, who fucceeds his brother 
 David, as milTionary to the Indians, and pallor of 
 the fame church of Chriftian Indians in New- 
 Jerfey : and the fifth was Ifracl, late ftudent at 
 Yale-college in New-Haven, who died fince his 
 brother David. — Mrs. Dorothy Brainerd having 
 lived feveral year$ a widow, died when her fon 
 David was about 14 years of age : fo that in his 
 youth he was left both fatherlefs and motherlcfs. 
 [What account he has given of himfelf, and his 
 own life, may be feen in what follows.] 
 
 I Was, I think, from my youth fomething fober, 
 and inclined to melancholy, but do not remem- 
 ber any conviftion of fin, worthy of remark, 'till 
 J was feven or eight years of age ; when I grew 
 terrified at the thoughts of death, and was driven 
 to the performance of duties ; this religious con- 
 cern was fhort-livcd. However, I lometii»€# 
 attended fecret prayer; and thus livect at " eafe 
 jn Zion, though without God in the world,'* 
 till t was above thirteen years of age. But in 
 the winter 1732, I was iomcthm^ roufed by the 
 prevailing of a mortal ficknefs in Haddam. I 
 was frequent, conflant, and fomething fervent in 
 duties, and took delight in reading, e'pecially Mr, 
 Janeway's Token Jar Children ; 1 was fometimes. 
 much melted in duties, and took great delight irv 
 the performance of them. The Spirit of God at 
 this time proceeded far with me ; I was remarkably 
 dead to the world, and my tiioughts were almoft 
 wholly employed about my foui'§ concerns; I 
 
 juay 
 
( 7 ) 
 
 may indeed fay^ " Almofl: I was perfuaded to be 
 a Chriftian.'* I was alfo exceedingly diftreflcd 
 at the death of my mother, in March, 1732. But 
 afterwards my religious concern declined, and I by 
 degrees fell back into fecurity, though I flill atten- 
 ded to fecret prayer. 
 
 About the 15th of April 1 733, I removed from 
 my father's houfe to Eaft-Haddam, where I fpent 
 four years. Here I went in a round of fecret duty, 
 I was not much addifted to young company; but 
 when I did go into it, I never returned with fo 
 good a confcience as I went ; it always added nev/ 
 guilt to me, and made me afraid to come to the 
 throne of grace. 
 
 About the latter end of April 1737, being full 
 nineteen, I removed to Durham, and began ta 
 work on my farm, and fo continued till 1 was 
 twenty years old ; though frequently longing after 
 a liberal education. When 1 was about twenty, 
 I applied myfelf to ftudy, and was engaged more 
 than ever in the duties of religion. 1 became 
 very watchful over my thoughts, words, and 
 aftions ; and thought 1 mufl be fo, becaufe I 
 defi^ned to devote myfelf to the miniftry. 
 
 Some time in April 1738, I went to Mr. Fifke's^ 
 and lived with him during his life*. And 1 re- 
 member, he advifcd me wholly to abandon young 
 company, and aCTociate myfelf with grave elderly 
 people :' which counfel I followed; and my man- 
 ner of life was now exceeding regular. I read 
 my Bible moie than twice through in lefs than a 
 year, I fpcnd much time every day in fecret 
 prayer, and other fecret duties ; I gave great 
 attention to the word preached, and endeavoured 
 to my utmoft to retain it. So much concerned 
 was I about religion, that I agreed with fome- 
 young perions to meet privately on Sabbath* 
 evenings for religious exercifes ; and after our 
 meeting was ended, I ufed to repeat the difcourfes 
 of the day to myfelf, and recoUe£t what 1 could^ 
 though fometimes it was late in the night. Again,. 
 
 on 
 * Mr. Fiike was the paftor p{ the church ia Haddaip* 
 
( 8 ) 
 
 on Monday mornings I ufed fometimes to r6colle£t 
 the fame fermons. And I had fometimes con- 
 fiderable movingsofaflPeftions in duties, and much 
 pleafure therein. 
 
 After Mr. Fifke's death, I proceeded in my 
 learning with my brother; and was {till very 
 conftant in religious duties. Thus I proceeded 
 on 2i fdf-righteous foundation;* and fhould fliil, 
 had not the mere mercy of God prevented^ 
 
 Sometime in the beginning of winter, 1738, 
 it pleafed God, on one Sabbaih day morning, as 
 I was walking out for lome fecret duties, to give 
 me on a fudden, fuch a fenfe of my danger, and 
 the wrath of God, that I flood amazed, and was 
 much diflreffed all that day, fearing the vengeance- 
 of God would foon overtake me; I kept much 
 alone, and fometimes grudged the birds andbeafts 
 their happinefs, becaufe they were not expofed 
 to eternal mifery, as I faw I was. And thus I 
 lived from day to day, in great diftrefs : fometimes- 
 there appeared mountains befoie me to obilru£t 
 my hopes of mercy ; but I ufed, however, 10 pray 
 and cry to God ; and perform other duties with, 
 great earneftnefs. 
 
 Some time in February, 1-73&-9, ^ ^^^ apart a. 
 day for fecret fafting and prayer, and fpent the 
 day in almoft inceffant cries to God for mercy,, 
 that he would open my eyes to fee the evil of fin,, 
 and the v/ay of life by Jefus Chrifl. And God 
 was pleafed that day to maVe confiderable dif- 
 coveries of my heart to me, and to make nvy en- 
 deavours a means to fbew me my helpUJfnefs 'wt 
 fome meafure. — I conflantly drove after whatever 
 qualifications, I imagined others obtained before 
 the reception of Chrift. Sometimes 1 felt th& 
 Y}Ow^r of an hard heari, and fuppofed it muft be 
 fiTJ'tened before Chriil would accept of me; and 
 when I felt any meltings of heart, I hoped now 
 the work was almofh done ; and hence, when my 
 diflrefs dill remained, I was wont to murrriur at 
 God's dealings with me : and thought, when othejs. 
 
 felt 
 
 • t doubt that : I believe this was True Religion as far as it went* 
 
( 9 ) 
 
 felt their hearts foftened, God fliewed them 
 mercy ; but my diftrefs remain ilill. 
 
 Sometimes 1 grew remifs and Jluggijh, without 
 any great conviftions of fm, for a confiderablc 
 time together ; but after fuch a feafon, convi6lions 
 fcized me more violently. One night in par- 
 ticular, when I was walking folitarily abroad, I 
 bad fuch a view of my fin, that I feared the 
 ground would cleave afunder, and fend my foul 
 quick into hell« And though I was forced to go 
 to bed, left my diftrefs fhould be difcovered by 
 others, which I much feared ; yet 1 fcarce durft 
 flcep at all, for I thought it would be a great 
 wonder if I fhould be out of hell in the morning, 
 ' But though my diftrefs was thus great, yet I dread- 
 ed the lofs of conviftions, and returning back to 
 a ftate of fecurity, and to my former infenfibility 
 of impending wrath ; which made me exceeding 
 exa£l in my behaviour, left I fhould ftifle the mo- 
 tions of God*s fpirit. 
 
 The many dilappointments and diftrefTes I met 
 with, put me into a moft horrible frame of contejiing 
 with the Almighty ; with an inward vehemence, 
 finding fault with his ways of dealing with marv- 
 kind, I found great fault with the imputation 
 of Adam's fin to his pofterity ; and my wicked 
 heart often wiJhcd for fome other way of falvation, 
 than by Jefus Chrift, I wilhed fometimcs there 
 ^as no God, or that there were fome other God 
 that could controul him, Thefe thoughts were 
 frequently afted before I was aware ; but, when 
 I confidered this, it diftreffed me, to think, that 
 my heart was fo full of enmity againft God ; and. 
 it made me tremble, left God*s vengeance fhould 
 fuddenly fall upon me, I ufed before, to imagine 
 my heart was not fo bad, as the fcriptures repre- 
 fented. Sometimes I ufed to take much pains to 
 work it into an humble fubmifTive difpofition ; 
 but on a fudden, the thoughts of the ftriftnefs of 
 the law, or the fovereignty of God, would fo ir- 
 ritate the corruptions of my heart, that it would 
 break over all bounds, and burft forth on all fides, 
 like floods of waters when they break down 
 their dam While 
 
( »o ) 
 
 While I was In this diftrelTed flate of mind, the 
 corruption of my heart was efpecially irritated with 
 thefe things following. 
 
 1, The Jlriclnefs of the divine law. For I found 
 it was impoflible for me (after my utmoft pains) 
 to anfwer the demands of it. I often made re- 
 folutions, and as often broke them. I imputed 
 the whole to want of being more Watchful, and 
 ufed to call myfelf a fool for my negligence. But 
 when, upon a ftronger refolution, and greater en- 
 deavours, fafting and prayer, I found all attempts 
 fail, then I quarrelled with the law of God, as 
 unreafonable rigid. I thought, if it extended 
 only to my outward actions, I could bear with it ; 
 but I found it condemned me for the fins of my 
 heart, which I could notpoffibly prevent. I was? 
 extremely loath to give out, and own my utter 
 helpleffnefs ; but after repeated difappointment^^ 
 thought that, rather than perifh, I could do a 
 little more fbll, efpecially if fuch and fuch cin- 
 cumftances might but attend my endeavours; I 
 hoped, that I fhould ftrive more earneflly than 
 ever: and this hope of future more favourable 
 circumftances, and of doing fomething hereafter,, 
 kept me from utter defpair of myfelf, and from 
 feeing myfelf fallen into the hands of God, and 
 dependent on nothing but boundlels grace. 
 
 2. Another thing was, ih2kt faith alone was the 
 condition offalvation ; and that God would not 
 come down to lower terms, that he would not 
 promife life and falvation upon my fincere pray- 
 ers and endeavours. That word, Mark xvi. i6» 
 '* He that believeth not fhall be damned," cut 
 off all hope there ', and I found, faith was the 
 gift of God ; that I could not get it of myfelf, 
 and could not oblige God to beftow it upon me, 
 by any of my performances, (Eph. ii. i. 8.) 
 "This," I was ready to fay, " is a hard faying, 
 who can bear it ?'^ I could not bear, that all I had 
 done (hould ftand for mere nothing, who had been 
 very conlcicntioui in duty, and Kad been exceed- 
 ing religious a great while, and had ^as I thought) 
 
 done 
 
( »« ) 
 
 done much more than many othcM that had ob- 
 tained mercy. I confeffed indeed the vilenefs of 
 mv duties; but then, what made them at that 
 time feem vile, was my wandering thoughts in 
 them ; not becaufe I was all over defiled, and the 
 principle corrupt from wh'^nce they flowed, fo 
 that I could not poflibly do any thing that was 
 good. And therefore I called what I did, by the 
 name of faithful endeavours; and could not beaf 
 it, that God had made no promifes of falvation 
 to them. 
 
 3. Another thing was, that I could not find 
 out how to come to Chrift. 1 read the calls of 
 Chrift, made to the weary and heavy-laden ; but 
 tould find no way that he direfted them to come 
 in. I thought I would gladly come, if I knew kouff 
 though the path of duty direfted to was never fo 
 difncult. Mr. Stoddard's Guide to Chriji, did not 
 tell me any thing I could do, that would bring 
 me to Chrifl:, but left me as it were with a great 
 gulph between me and Chrifl, without any direc- 
 tion to get through. For 1 was not yet experif 
 mentally taught, that there could be no way prc- 
 fcribed, whereby a natural man could of his own 
 llrength, obtain that which is fupernatural, and 
 which the highefl angel cannot give. 
 
 All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully 
 at work with me ; and I was inwardly preffed to 
 felinquifh all f elf-confidence, all hopes of ever 
 helping myfelf by any means whatfoever ; and the 
 ■conviftion ©f my lojt eflate was fometimes fo clear, 
 thai it was as if it had been declared to me in fo 
 many words, *' It is done, it is forever impofTible 
 to deliver yourfelf." Foi- about three or four days, 
 my foul was thus diftreffed, efpecially at feme 
 turns, when for a few moments I feemed to my- 
 felf loft and undone ; but then would flinnk back 
 immediately from thefight, becaufe I dared not 
 venture myfelf into the hands of God, as wholly 
 helplels. I dared not fee that important truth, 
 that I was dead in trtjpajjes and Jms. But W^eti 
 1 -had thruft away thele views of myfelf ^r^y 
 
 time« 
 
( «* ) 
 
 time, I was diftreffedto have the fame difcoveries 
 again : for I greatly feared being given over of 
 God to final llupidity. When I thought of putting 
 it off to a more convenient Jeafon^ the convi6tioa 
 was fo powerful with regard to the prefcnt time, 
 that it was the befl time, and probably the otily 
 time thati dared not put it off. It was the fight of 
 truths concerning my felf, truth refpefting my Itatc, 
 as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and 
 that confequently I could make no demands on 
 God for mercy, my foul fhrunk away from, I 
 could fee no fafety in owning myfelf in the hands 
 cf God, and that I could lay no claim to any 
 thing better than damnation. 
 
 But after a confiderable time fpent in fuch 
 diftreffes, one morning, while I was walking in a 
 iolitary place, as ufual, I at once faw that all my 
 contrivances to procure falvation for myfelf, were 
 utterly in vain : I was brought quite to a ftand as 
 finding myfelf totally /t^?, I had thought many- 
 times, that the difficulties were very great ; but 
 now I faw, in very different light, that it was for 
 ever impollible for me to do any thing towards 
 delivering myfelf. I then thought of blaming 
 myfelf, that I had not done more, while I had 
 opportunity; (for it Teemed now as if the feafon 
 of doing was for ever over and gone ;) but 1 in- 
 ftanlly faw, that let me have done what J would, 
 it would no more have tended to my helping 
 myfelf, than what I had done; that I had made 
 all the pleas I ever could have made to all eter- 
 nity ; and that all my pleas were vain. The tumult. 
 that had been before in my mind, was now quieted ; 
 and I was fomcfning eafed of that dillrefs, which 
 I felt, while ffruggling againft a fighf of myfelf. 
 I had the greatell certainty that my Hate was for 
 ever miferable, for all that I could do: and was 
 almoft aftcnirncd that I had never been fcnfiblc 
 of it before. 
 
 In the time while I remained in this flate, my 
 notions refpeding my duties^ were quite different 
 from v/hat I had entertained in times pall. Now I 
 faw, there was no neceffary connexion between my 
 
 prayers 
 
( «8 ) 
 
 prayers and the divine mercy: that they laid not 
 the leaft obligation upon God to beflow his grace 
 upon me; and that there was no more goodnefs 
 in them, than there would be in my paddling 
 in the water, (which was the comparifon 1 had 
 then in my mind) : and this bccaufe they were 
 not performed from any love to God. 1 faw that 
 I had heaped up my devotions before God, fafl- 
 ing, praying, &c. really thinking I was aiming 
 at the glory of God ; whereas I never once truly 
 intended it, 
 
 I continued in this ftate of mind from Friday 
 morning *till the Sabbath-evening following, July 
 12, 1739» when I was walking again 4n the fame 
 folitary place, and attempting to pray, but found 
 f\o heart to engage in that or any other duty. 
 Having been thus endeavouring to pray for near 
 half an hour, (and by this time the fyn was about 
 half an hour high) as I was walking in a dark. ' 
 -thick grove, unfpeakab/e glory feemed to open to 
 the view of my loul : 1 do not mean any external 
 hrightnefs, nor any imagination of a hody of 
 light, or any thing of that nature; biit it was a 
 new inward apprehenfion or view that I had of 
 God. fuch as I never had before. I flood ftiil, 
 and admired. 1 knew that I had never fecn be- 
 fore any ihing comparable to it for excellency 
 and beauty; it was widely different from all the 
 conceptions tljat ever 1 had of God, or thing* 
 divine. 1 had no particular apprehenfion of any 
 one perfon in the Trinity, either the Father, the 
 Son, or the Holy Gholl; but it appeared to be 
 divine glory, that 1 then beheld; and my foul re- 
 joiced zidih joy unfpeakable, to fee fuch a God, fuch 
 a glorious divine being; and I was inwardly 
 pleafed and fatisfied, that he fhould be God over all 
 for ever and ever. My ioul was fo captivated 
 snd delighted with the excellency, lovelinefs, 
 greatn^fs, and other perfeftions of God, that i 
 was even fwdllowed up in him, to that degree, 
 that at^r/?, I fcarce reflected there was I'uch a 
 creature as myfeif. 
 
 B Thus 
 
( M ) 
 
 Thus God, I truft, brought me to a hearty dif- 
 pofition lo exalt hiviy and fet him upon the throne, 
 and ultimately to aim at his honour and glory, 
 as king of the uniyerfe. 
 
 I continued in this ftate *till near dark, without 
 any fenfibVe abatement ; and then began to think 
 \vhat I had feen ; and was fv/eetly covipofed all 
 the evening following. I felt myfclf in a new 
 world, and every thing about me appeared with 
 a different afpecb from what it was wont to do. 
 
 At this time the way e{ falvation opened to me 
 with fuch infinite wifdom, fuitablenefs, and ex- 
 cellency, that I wondered I fhould ever think of 
 any other way of falvation ; was amazed, that I 
 hai not dropped my own contrivances, and com- 
 plied with this blelTed and excellent way before. 
 If I could have been faved by my own duties, 
 or any other way that I had formerly contrived, 
 mv whole foul would now have refufed. I won- 
 dered, that the whole world did not fee and 
 comply with this way of falvation, entirely by 
 the mtrits of Chrift, 
 
 The fwect relifh of what I then felt, continued 
 with me for feveral days, in a greater or lefs de- 
 gree ; I could not but fweetly rejoice in God, 
 lying down and rifing up. The next Lord's day 
 I felt fomething of the fame kind, though not fo 
 powerful. But, not long after, was again under 
 great diltrefs ; yet not of the fame kind with my 
 diftrefs under conviftions. I was guilty, afraid, 
 and alhamed to come before God ; was exceed- 
 ingly preffed with a fenfe of guilt: but it was 
 not long before I felt (I truft) the true repen- 
 tance and joy in God, 
 
 In the beginning of September I went to Col- 
 lege,* and entered there ; but with fome degree 
 of reluftancy, fearing left I fhould not be able to 
 lead ^life of ftrift religion, in the midfl of fo 
 Uiany temptations.— —After this, before I went 
 ty tarry at college, it pleafed God to vifit toy foul 
 
 with 
 
 • Yale-College ia Ncw-Havea, 
 
( '5 ) 
 
 with clearer manifeflations of himfclf. I wa^ 
 fpcnding fomc time in prayer, and fclf-exami- 
 nation ; and the Lord by his gcace fo (hined into 
 my heart, that I enjoyed full afTurance of his fa- 
 vour ; and my foul was unfpeakably refreihed. At 
 this time cfpecially, as well as fome others, funr 
 dry paffages.of God's word opened to my fou' 
 with divine clearnefs, power and fweetnefs, fo 
 as to appear exceeding precious, and with deaf 
 and certain evidences of its being tkc word of Godi, 
 I enjoyed confiderable fweetnefs in religion aii 
 the winter following. 
 
 In Jan, 1739—40, the mcafles fpread much in 
 college; and 1 having taken the difliempeV, went 
 home to Hi'ddam. But fome days before I was 
 taken fick, ir.y foul mourned the abfence of the 
 Comforter : it feemed to me, all comfort was 
 gone ; I cried to God, yet found no relief. But 
 a night or two befor<: 1 was taken ill, while I was 
 "walkine alone and engaged in meditation and 
 prayer, 1 enjoyed a fwcet refreftiing vifit from a- 
 bove, fo that my (oul was raifed far above the fears 
 of death j O how much more refrclhing thisono 
 fealoa was, than all the pleafures that earth can 
 afford ! After a day or two I was taken with the 
 meafles, and almoit defpaired of life ; but had nt> 
 diftrefTing fears of death. However, I foon re- 
 covered : yet, by reafon of hard fludies, I had 
 little time, for fpiritual duties; my foul often 
 mourned for want of more time and opportunity 
 to be alone with God : In the fpring and fummer 
 following, I had better advantages for retirement 
 and enjoyed more comfort; though indeed my 
 ambition in my ftudies greatly wronged the vigour 
 of my fpiritual life ; yet " in the multitude of my 
 thoughts within me, God's comforts delighted 
 my foul." 
 
 One day in particular, (in June 1740) I walked 
 in the fields alone, and found, fuch unfpeakable 
 fweetnefs in God, that I thought, I muft continue 
 ftill in this evil world. I wanted always ^to be 
 there to behold God's glory : my foul dearly loved 
 B * all 
 
( *6 y 
 
 kll nratikind, an J longed exceedingly that they 
 fKould enjoy what I enjoyed.— It feemed to be 
 a little refemblance of heaven. 
 
 I» Auguft following, 1 became fo diforderej, 
 by too clofe application to my ftudies, that I was 
 advifsd by my tutor to go home, and difengage 
 iT\y mind from ftudy, as much as I could ; for I 
 began ta fpit blood. I took his advice, but being 
 brought very low, I looked death in the face 
 inore ftedfaftly ; the Lord was pleafed to give 
 me a fweet relifh of divine things, and my foui 
 look delight in the bleffed God. 
 
 Saturday, O£lober 18, In my morning devo- 
 tions, my foul was exceedingly melted for, ^nd 
 bitterly mourned ov^er my exceeding jin/w/n^ and 
 vileM/f, I never before felt fo deep a fenfe of 
 the odious nature of fm. My foul was then wn- 
 udially carried forth in love to God, and had a 
 lively fenfe of God's love to me. And this loye 
 and hope, cad out fear. 
 
 06lober 19. In the morning I felt my foul 
 himg&ring and thirJHng after righUouJnefs,, In the 
 forenoon, while 1 was looking on the facramental 
 tlemenls, and thinking that Jefus Chrift would 
 foon be *' fet forth crucified before me." my foul 
 ■was filled with light and love, fo that I was al- 
 raoib in an ecflafy j my body was fo weak, I 
 €tKild hardly ftand. I felt at the fame time an 
 exccading tendernefs and mofl fervent love to- 
 wards all mankind; fo that my foul and all the 
 powers of it feemed, as it were, to melt into foft- 
 nefs and fweetnefs. This love and joy caft out 
 fear ; and my foul longed for perfeft grace and . 
 glory. 
 
 Tuefday, Oftober 21. I had likewife experi- 
 ence of the goodnefs of G«d in " Ihedding abroad 
 his love in my heart,'* and all the remaining 
 part of the week, my foul was taken up with 
 divine things. I now fo lodged after God, and 
 to bt freed from fin, that when I felt myfelf re- 
 covering, and thought i mull return to college 
 3gain, which had proved fo hurtful to me the 
 
 year 
 
( '7 ) 
 
 year pad, I could not but be grieved, and I thought 
 I hadkjnuch rather have died ; but before I went, 
 1 enjoyed fcveral other fweet and precious feafons 
 of communion with God, wherein my foul en- 
 joyed unfpeakable comfort. 
 
 I returned to college about November 6, and 
 through the goodnefs of God, felt the power of 
 religion almoft daily. 
 
 November 28. I enjoyed precious difcovcri^fs 
 of God, and was u^Ipeakably refrcfhed with that 
 paffage, Heb. xli. 22, 23, 24, To ti^jt my foul 
 longed to wing away for the paradile of God ; 
 I longed to be conformed to God sn all things. 
 
 Tuefday, December 9. God was pleafed won- 
 derfully to affift and Ilrengthcn me; fa that I 
 thought nothing fhould ever move me from the 
 love of God in Chrift Jefus my Lord.— O ! on^ 
 hour with God infinitely exceeds all the pleafures 
 of this lower world. 
 
 Towards the latter end of January, 1740—41^ 
 1 grew more cold and dull in matters of religion, 
 by means of my old temptation, am-bltioa in my 
 fludies.— But through divine goodnefs, a great 
 and general awakening fpread itlcif over the col- 
 lege, about the latter end of February, in which 
 I was much quickened, and more abundantly en- 
 gaged in religion. 
 
 [This awakening here fpoken of, was at th6 
 beginning of that extraodinary religious com- 
 motion through the land, which is frefh in every 
 one's memory. This awaking was for a time 
 very great and general at New-Haven ; and the 
 college had nofmall fhare in it : that lociety was 
 greatly reformed, the ftudents in general became 
 ierious, and many of them- rcmaikably fo, an4 
 much engaged in the concerns of their eternal 
 falvation. 
 
 It could not h& oth-erwife than. that one whofe 
 heart had been fo drawn to God, ^jioiild be migh* 
 tily enlarged, animated, arxi' engaged at t-h<^ ligh^ 
 of f uch an alteration made in the ctwle^e, liie 
 town, and land; and fo greart iwi appeara«€e'of 
 B ^ iaea'5 
 
{ >8 ) 
 
 men's rePontiing their lives, and turning from 
 their profanenefs and. immorality, to I'eiioufncfs 
 and concern for their falvation, and of religion's 
 reviviog and flouriihing almoft every where. 
 But as an intemperate zeal, foon mingled itfelf 
 with that revival of religion; fo Mr. Brainerd 
 had the unliappinefs to have a tinfture of it. One 
 in fiance of which it is neceflary (bould be related, 
 with its circumftances. 
 
 In the time of the awakening at college, feveral 
 fludents aflbciated themfehes, who were wont 
 freely to open themfelves one to another. Mr» 
 Brainerd-was one of this company. And it once 
 happened, that he and two or three more of thcTc 
 bis intimate friends were in the hall together, 
 after Mr. Whittelfey, one of the tutors, had been 
 to prayer there with the fcholars ; no other per- 
 fon now remaining in the hall, but Mr. Brainerd 
 and thefe his companions. Mr. Whittelfey hav.- 
 ing been unufually pathetical in his prayer, one 
 of Mr. Brainerd's friends afked, him what h^ 
 thought of Mr. Whittelfey ; he made anfwer^ 
 •* He has no more grace than his chair.!* One 
 happening at that time to be near the. hall over-^ 
 heard thofe words, though he heard no name 
 mentioned, and knew not who the perfon was, 
 which was thus cenfured: he informed a certain 
 'Woman who weiit and informed the re£lor, who 
 fent for the man and examined him ; and he told- 
 the reftor the words that he heard Brainerd utter, 
 and informed him who were in the room with 
 liim at that time Upon which the i e^or fent for 
 them; they were very back v/ard to inform againft: 
 their friend, of that which they looked upon as 
 private converfation," yet the re6lor compelled" 
 them to declare what he faid, and of whom he 
 faid it.— Brainerd thought, that what he faid in 
 private, was injurioufly extorted from his friends,, 
 andthat it wa5.i#jurioully required of.'him to make 
 a public confeflion, before the whole college in 
 the hall, for what he had faid only in private corij- 
 vcrlation,— He not complying with this demand, 
 
 and 
 
( '9 ) 
 
 and having gone once to the feparate meeting 
 at New-Haven, when forbidden by the re6lor, 
 and alfo having been acculed of faying concern- 
 ing the re6lor, that he wondered he did not ex- 
 pe6l to drop down dead for fincing the fcholars 
 who followed Mr. Tennent to, Milford, though 
 there was no proof of it, (and Mr. Brainerd ever 
 profefled that he did not remember his faying 
 any thing to that purpofe;) he was expelled the 
 college. 
 
 The reader will fee, in the fequal of Mr. 
 Brainerd's life,* what his own thoughts after- 
 wards were of his behaviour in thefe things, and 
 in how chrillian a manner he condufted himfelf, 
 with refpeft to this affair: though he ever, as 
 long as he lived, fuppofed himfelf much abufed, 
 in the management of it, and in what he fulfercjd 
 in it. 
 
 [His expulfionwas in the winter anno 1741-42^ 
 while he was in his third year in college.J 
 
 PART II, 
 
 From the time that he began to devote himfelf to the 
 fludy of divinity, till he was examined and licenced 
 to preachy 
 
 [TV yfR. Brainerd, the fpring after his expulfion, 
 JlVX went to live with the Reverend Mr. Mills, 
 ©f Ripton, lo follow his fludies with him in order 
 to his being fitted for the work of the miniftry ; 
 where he Ipent the greater part of the time till 
 the alTociation licenced him to preach.J— The 
 following account is in his own words. 
 
 Thurfday, April 1, 1742. L feem to be declfn* 
 ing with relpedt to my life and warmth in divine; 
 things; O that God would huml^ie me deeply iiv 
 the dull I. L deferve hell every day, for not lov.- 
 
 ing; 
 
 ♦ Panicularly undcrtbe dat«, Wedncfday, Sept. i^, 4743* 
 
( »" ) 
 
 ing my Lord more, " who has loved me, and 
 given himfclf for me;'* and ever^ time I am en- 
 abled to exercife any grace, I am indebted ta the 
 God of all grace for fpecial affiftance. «' Where 
 then is boafting ?" Surely «' it is excluded," 
 fince we depend on God for the being and every 
 aft of grace. 
 
 Friday, April 2. In the afternoon I felt my- 
 felf, in fecret prayer, much refigned, calm, and 
 ferene. What are all the ftorms of this lower 
 world, '\i Jefus by his fpirit does but come walking 
 on thtftasi — Some time paft, I had much pleafure 
 in the profpeft of' the heathen's being brought 
 home to Chrifl. and deiired that the Lord would 
 Employ irtt in that work;— but now my foul more 
 frequently defires to die, to be with Chrifl, O that 
 my foul were wrapt up in love, and my longing 
 after God increafedl 
 
 Saturday, April 3. I had an ill night laft night. 
 I thought, if God would take me to himfelf, my 
 foul would exceedingly rejoice, O that I may 
 be always humble and refigned to God, and that 
 God woald caule my foul to be more fixed on 
 himfelf, that I may be more fitted both for doing 
 and fufferingl 
 
 Lord's-day, April 4. O my bleffed God ! Let 
 me climb up near to him, and love, and long, and 
 plead, and wreftle, and reach, and flretch after 
 him, and for deliverance from the body of fia 
 and death.— Alas ! my foul mourned to think I 
 fhould ever lofe fight of its beloved again. '* O 
 come. Lord Jefus, Amen.'* 
 
 Tuefday, April 6. I cried to God to wafh m^y 
 foul, and cleanfe me from my exceeding filthinefs. 
 — And 1 could think of undergoing the great- 
 eft fufferings, with pleafure ; and found myfelf 
 willing (if God {houid fo order it) to fuffer banifh- 
 ment from my native land, among the heathens, 
 that I might do fomcthing for their falvation,. 
 in diflreffes and deaths of any kind. — Then God 
 gave me to wreftle eaineftly for others, for the 
 kingdom of Chrift in the worlds and for my 
 
 dear 
 
( *' ) 
 
 dear Chriflian friends. — I felt tnyfelf weaned 
 from the world, and from my own reputation, 
 willing to be defpifed, and to be a gazing ftock 
 for the world.— "—'It is impoffible for me to cx- 
 prefs what 1 then felt : 1 had not much joy, but 
 a fenfe of the majefly of God, which made mc 
 tremble ; I faw myfelf mean and vile, which made 
 me more willing that God fhould do what he 
 would with me ; it was all infinitely reafonable, 
 Wednefday, April 7. I had not fo much fer- 
 vency in prayer. At noon I fpent fome time 
 
 in fecret, with fervency, but fcarce any fweet- 
 Yiefs. 
 
 Thuifday, April 8. I had hopes refpefting 
 the hejthen. O that God would bring in num- 
 bers of them to Chrift ! I cannot but hope 1 (hall 
 
 fee that gloriou^s day. Ever thing in this 
 
 world feems exceeding vile and little to me ; I 
 look (o to myfelf. 
 
 Saturday^ April 10. I fpent much time in fecret 
 prayer this morning, and not without fome com- 
 fort ; but am folow, and feel follttleof the fenfible 
 prefence of God, that I hardly know what to cal 
 faith, and am made to " poffefs the fins of my 
 youth," and the dreadful fin of my nature, and 
 am all fin ; 1 cannot think, nor aft, but every 
 motion is fin.— Yet I feel fome faint hopes, that 
 God will, of his infinite mercy, return. 
 
 Lord's day, April 11, Afterwards I had fweet- 
 nefs in the thoughts of ai riving at the heavenly 
 world. O for the happy day !—— After public 
 worfhip God gave me fpecial afliflance in prayer; 
 I wrellled with my dear Lord, with much fwcet- 
 ncfs ; and interceffion was a fweet and delightful 
 
 employment to me. In the evening, as I was 
 
 viewing the light in the north, I was delighted 
 in contemplation on the glorious morning of the 
 refurreftion. 
 
 Monday, April 12, This morning the Lord 
 was pleafed to lift up the light of his countenance 
 upon me- in fecret prayer, and made the feafoi^ 
 very precious to my foul, 1 felt myfelf exceed- 
 
{ « ) 
 
 ing calm, and quite refigned to God, refpefting 
 my future employment, when and where he pleafed : 
 my faith lifted me above the world, and removed 
 all thofe mountains, that I could not look over 
 of late : I wanted not the favour of men to leaa 
 upon ; for I knew Chrifl's favour was infinitely 
 better, and that it was no matter when, nor where^ 
 nor how Chrid (hould fend me, nor what trials 
 he fhould exercife we with, if i might be prepared 
 for his work and will. I now found Iweetly 
 revived in my mind the wonderful difcovery of 
 infinite wifdom in all the difpenfations of God 
 towards me, which I had a little before 1 met 
 with my great trial at college : every thing ap- 
 peared fujl of the wifdom of God. 
 
 Wednefday, April 14. My foul longed for com- 
 munion with Chrifl;, and for the mortification of 
 indwelling corruption, efpecially Ipiriti^l pride. 
 O there is a fweet day coming, wherein "the 
 weary will be at reft!" My foul has enjoyed 
 much fweetnefs this day in the hopes of its fpeedy 
 arrival. 
 
 Thurfday, April 15. My defires centered in 
 God, and I found a fenfible attraftion of foul after 
 him; / long for God^ and a conformity to his will, 
 in inward holinefs, ten thoufand times more than 
 for any thing here below. 
 
 Lord's day, April 18, I- retired early this 
 morning into the woods for prayer ; and was en- 
 abled to plead with fervency for the advance- 
 ment of Chriftr*s kingdom. At night I faw 
 
 myfelf infinitely indebted to God, and had a view 
 of my fhort comings : it feemed to me> that I had 
 done nothing for God, and that I had lived to him 
 but a few hours of my life, 
 
 Monday, April 19. I fet apart this day for 
 falling and prayer to God for his grace, to pre- 
 pare me for the work of the miniftry, and in his 
 own time to fend me into his harveft. I felt a 
 power of interceflTion for the advancement of th<j 
 kingdom of my dear Lord : and withal, a fweet 
 rcfignation, and even joy in the thoug^htsof (uf-< 
 
 fering 
 
( ^3 ) 
 
 fcYing hardflilps, diflreiTes, yea, death itfelf, intlie 
 promotion of it. In the afternoon, " God was 
 ^vith me of a truth." O it was blcffed company 
 indeed ! God enabled me fo to agonize in prayer, 
 that I was quite wet with fweat, though in the 
 (hade, and the wind cool. My foul was drawn 
 out very much for the world ; I grafped for 
 multitudes of fouis. I had more enlargment for 
 fmncrs, than for the children of God; though 
 1 felt as if I could fpend my life in cries for 
 both, I never felt fuch an entire weanednefs from 
 this world, and fo much refigncd to God in every 
 thing.— —O that I may always live to and upon 
 my bleffed God ! 
 
 Tuefday, April 20. This day I am twenty- 
 four years of age. O how much mercy have I 
 received the year pad! Plow often has God 
 <* caufed his goodnefs to pafs before me!'* And 
 how poorly have I anfwered the vows I made 
 this time twelvemonth, to be wholly the Lord's, 
 to be for ever devoted to his fervice ! The Lord 
 
 help me to live more to his glory.- This has 
 
 been a fweet day to me : Bleffed be God* I 
 think my foul was never To drawn out in inter-* 
 ccflion for others, I had a fervent wreftle with 
 the Lord for my enemies ; and I hardly ever fo 
 longed to live to God, Sind to be altogether devo- 
 ted to him. 
 
 Lord's day, April 25. This morning 1 fpent 
 about two hours in fecret, and was enabled more 
 than ordinarily to agonize for immortal fouls ; 
 though it was early in the morning, and the fun 
 fcarcely fhined at all, yet my body was quite 
 wet with fweat. I felt myfelf much preffed, 
 frequently of late, to plead for the meeknefs 
 -and calmnefs of the Lamb of God. O it is a 
 fweet difpofition, heartily to forgive all injuries, 
 to wifh our greatefb enemies as well as we do our 
 own fouls! Bleffed Jefus, may I daily be more 
 and mere confoimed to thee! At night I was 
 exceedingly melted with divine love, and had 
 a fenle of the blefl'ednefs of th<J upper woild, 
 
 Thofe 
 
( H ) 
 
 Thofe words hung upon me, with much fweet- 
 ncfs. Pfal. Ixxxiv. 7. " They go from llrcngth 
 to flrength, every one of them in Zion appeareth 
 before God." O the near accefs that God fome- 
 times gives us rn our addrcfles to him I This may 
 Well be termed appearing before God : it is fo in- 
 deed, in the true ("pirltual lenle. I have not had 
 fuch power of interccfTion the(c many months, 
 both for God's children, and for dead finners. 
 I longed for the coming of my dear Lord: I lon- 
 ged to join the angelic hofts in praifes, wholly 
 free from imperfection. O the blefTed moment 
 haftens! All I want is to be more holy, more 
 like my dear Lord. O for fanfclification ! My 
 very foul pants for the complete reftoration of 
 the blefl'ed image of my Saviour; that I may 
 be fit for the blefifed enjoyments and employ- 
 ments of the heavenly world. 
 
 Monday, April 26. I continued in a fweet 
 frame of mind; but in the afternoon felt fome- 
 thing of fptritual pride. God was pleafed to make 
 it a humbling feafon. My foul exceedingly longs 
 for that bleffed Itate of perfeftion, of deliverance 
 from all fm 1 At night, God enabled me to 
 
 give my foul up to him, to caft myfelf upon him, 
 to be ordered and difpofed of according to his fo- 
 vereign pleafure ; and I enjoyed great peace and 
 confolation in fo doing. My foul took fweet de- 
 light in God: my thoughts freely and fweetly 
 ■centered in him. O that I could fpend every mo- 
 ment of my life to bis glory ! 
 
 Tuefday, 27. I retired for fecret devotions; 
 and God was pleafed to pour fuch ineffable com- 
 forts into my foul, that I could do nothing for 
 fome time but fay over and over, " O my fweet 
 Saviour ! O my fweet Saviour^ whom have 1 in 
 heaven but thee ! And there is none upon earth, 
 that I defue befide thee," If I had a thoufand 
 lives, my foul would gladly have laid them all 
 down at once to have been with Ghrift. My foul 
 never enjoyed fo much of heaven before; it was 
 the moll refined communication with God I ever 
 
 felt: 
 
( =5 ) 
 
 hung heavy upon me: for God difcovcred to me 
 the corruption of my heart ; ib that I went to bed 
 with a heavy heart, becaufe I was a (inner: though 
 I did not in the leaft doubt of God's love. O that 
 God would " purge away all my drofs, and take 
 away my tin,'* 
 
 April 30. Nothing grieves me fo much, as 
 that 1 cannot live con{tantly to God's glory. I 
 could bear any fpirittial conflifts, if I had but my 
 heart all the while burning zvithin mc, with love lo 
 God. 
 
 May 2. God was pleafed this morning to give 
 me fuch a fight of myfclf, as made mcj appear 
 very vile in my own eyes : I felt corruption {lii- 
 ring in my heart, which 1 could -by no means lup- 
 prefs : 1 was exceeding weak, and almolt Tick 
 with my inward trials. 
 
 3. 1 fpent the day in fading and prayer : God 
 gave me much power of wrellling for his cauie 
 and kingdom: He was with me all the day, and 
 I was more above the world, than ever in my 
 life. 
 
 9. I never felt fo much of the curfed pride of 
 my heart, as well as the ftubbornnefs of my wiii 
 before. O what a wretch 1 am ! I couid not 
 fubmit to be nothing, and to lie down in the dulf. 
 Oh that God would humble me ! I felt mvfelf 
 fuch a finner, all day, that 1 had fcarcc any com- 
 fort. 1 greatly feared, left through llupidity, I 
 Ihould lofe the benefit of thefe trials. O that they 
 might be fandlified to my foul! Nothing feemed 
 to touch me but this, that I was a finnsr. 
 
 13. 1 faw fo much of the wickednefs of my 
 heart, that I longed to get away from myfelf. I 
 never before thought there was lo muchVpiritual 
 pride in my foul : 1 was almofl; prcfiTcd to death 
 ■with my vilenels. O what a body of death is there 
 in me ! Lord^ deliver my foul. (3 the clofeft walk 
 with God, is the fweeteil heaven that can be en- 
 joyed on earth ! 
 
 14. I waited on a council of miniflers, and 
 fpread before them the treatment 1 had met with 
 
 C from 
 
( ^5 ) 
 
 w^l 
 
 from the re£lor and tutors of Yale college ; who 
 thought it advifeable to intercede for me with the 
 re6lor and trudees, and to intreat them to redore 
 me to my former privileges in college. [The ap- 
 plication which was then made on his behalf, had 
 not the defired fuccefs.] 
 
 June 12. I fpent much time in prayer this 
 morning, and enjoyed much fweetnefs ; Felt in- 
 iatiable longings after God : I wondered how 
 poor fouls do to live, that have no God. The 
 world, with all its enjoyments, quite vaniflied. 1 
 fee myfelf very helplefs ; but I have a blefTed 
 God to go to. I longed exceedingly " to be dif- 
 folved, and to be with Chrift, to behold his glory.** 
 Oh, my weak weary foul longs to arrive at my 
 Father's houfe ! 
 
 14. I felt fomething of the fweetnefs of com- 
 munion with God, and the conflraining force of 
 his love. 1 fet apart this day for falling and pray- 
 er, to intreat God to blefs me with regard to the 
 great work of preaching the gofpel ; and that the 
 Lord would return to me, and fhew me the light 
 of his countenance. Jull at night, the Lord vifited 
 me marvelloufiy in prayer: I think my foul never 
 was in fuch an agony before : I felt no reftraint ; 
 for the treafures of divine grace were opened to 
 me : I wreftled for my abfent friends, for the in- 
 gathering of fouls, and for many that I thought 
 were the children of God, perfonally, in many 
 diftant places, I was in fuch an agony, till near 
 dark, that I was all over wet with Tweat : but yet 
 it fecmed to me that I had wafted away the day, 
 and had done nothing. Oh, my dear Jefus did 
 fweat blood for poor fouls ! I longed for more 
 compaffion towards them. 
 
 15. I had the moft ardent longings after God, 
 that ever I felt in my life : at noon, in fecret, I 
 could do nothing but tell my dear Lord, that he 
 knew I longed for himfelf, and for holinefs ; that 
 he had given me thefe dcfires, and he only could 
 give me the thing defircd. I never feemed to be 
 fo unhinged from myfelf, and to be fo wholly de- 
 voted 
 
( «7- ) 
 
 voted to God.. My heart was fwalloxAned up iiT 
 God mod of the day. In the evening I had fuch a 
 view of the foul's being enlarged, to contain more 
 holinefs, that my foul feemed ready to feparate 
 from my body, to obtain it. I then wrcftled in 
 an agony, for divine blefTings ; had my heart 
 drawn out in prayer for fome Chriftian friends, 
 beyond what 1 ever liad before. 1 feel different- 
 ly now from what ever I did under any fweet en- 
 joyments before, more engaged to live to God for" 
 ever. Oh how fhort do 1 fall of my duty in my 
 happiefl moments! 
 
 i8. Confidcring my great unfitnefs for the mi* 
 niflry, and total inability to do anything for the 
 glory of God that way. I fet apart this day for 
 prayer to God, and found God gracioufly near : 
 once in particular, while I was pleading for more 
 companion for immortal fouls, my heart feemed 
 to be opened at once, and I was enabled to cry 
 with great ardency. 1 was diftreffed, to think, 
 that I fhould offer fuch dead cold fervices to the 
 living Ood ! My foul feemed to breathe after ho- 
 linefs, and a life of conftant devotednefs to God. 
 But I am almoft loft fometimes in the purfuit of 
 this bleflednefs, and ready to fink, becaufe I con- 
 tinually fall {hort. O that the Lord would help me 
 to hold out, yet a little while, till the happy hour 
 oi deliverance comes ! 
 
 20. Spent much time alone. My foul longed 
 to be holy, and reached after God ; I hungred 
 and thirfted ; but was not fatisfied. My foul re- 
 lied on God, as my only portion. O that 
 I could grow in grace more abundantly every 
 day ! 
 
 2 2. I was fweetly compofed and refigned to 
 God's will : was enabled to leave myfelf and all 
 toy concerns with him, and to have my whole 
 dependence upon him. My fecret retirement was 
 very refrefhing ; it appeared fuch a happinefs to 
 have God for my portion, that I had rather be 
 any other creature in this lower creation, than not 
 come to the enjoyment of God : I had rather be a 
 C 2 beaft, 
 
( 2« ) 
 
 beaft, than a man, without God, if I were td 
 live here to eternity. Lord, endear thyfelf more 
 to me ! 
 
 30. Spent this day alone in the woods, in fail- 
 ing and prayer; underwent the moft dreadful con- 
 ilifts in my foul, that ever I felt -, I faw myfelf fo 
 vile, that I was ready to fay, " I (hall now perirti 
 hy the hand of Saul." I almofl concluded, 1 had 
 ho power to ftand for the caufe of God, but wag 
 afraid of the (baking of a leaf. Spent almoft the 
 whole day in prayer, incefTantly. I could not 
 bear to thinkof Chriftians fhewingme an^r refpetl, 
 I almofl defpaired of doing any fervice in tho 
 world : I could not feel any hope refpe6ling the 
 heathen, which ufed to afford me fome refrefh- 
 ment in the darkefl hours. I fpent the day in the 
 bitternefs of my foul. Near night I enjoyed fome 
 confolation in prayer. 
 
 July 3. My heart feemed again to fink. The 
 difgrace 1 was laid under at college, feemed to 
 damp mc. as it opens the mouths of oppofets. I 
 bad no refuge but in God. BlefTed be his name, 
 that I may go to him at all times, and find him a 
 prefenthelp. 
 
 Lord's day, July 4. In the evening I withdrew, 
 and enjoyed a happy fcafon in fecret : God was 
 pleafed to give me the ex srcife of faith, and there- 
 by brought the invihble and eternal world near to 
 my foul. I hoped, that my v/eary pilgrimage 
 would be fhort; that it would not be long before 
 1 was brought to my Father's houfe : but I was 
 fsveetly refigned to God's will, to tarry his time, 
 to do his work, and fufi^^er his pleafure. I felt 
 pleafed, to be liitle, to be nothing, and to lie in 
 the dufl. 1 enjoyed life and fweet coniolation in 
 pleading for the children of God, and the king- 
 dom of Chrifl in the world : and my foul earnelW 
 ly breathed after holinefs, and the enjoyment 
 of God. O come, Lord Jefus ! Come quickly. 
 Amen. 
 
 19. My defiresfeem efpecially to be carried out 
 after weanednefs fromi the woild, perfe6l dead- 
 
 ncfs 
 
( '9 ) 
 
 nefs to It, and to be even crucified to all its allure- 
 ments. My foul longs to feel itfelf more of a 
 pilgrim and flranger here below ; that no- 
 thing may divert me from prefling through 
 the lonely defert, till 1 arrive at my Father'* 
 houfe. 
 
 2 2. Journeying from Southbury to Ripton, I 
 called at a houfe, where being kindly entertained^ 
 I was filled with amazement and fhame, that God 
 Ihould flir up the hearts of any to (hew fo much 
 kindnefs to fuch a dead dog as 1 ; and was fenfi- 
 ble, hqw exceeding vile it is, not to be wholly 
 devoted to God. 1 wondered, that God would 
 fuflFer any of his creatures to feed and fuflain me 
 from time to time, 
 
 July 29. I was examined by the Aflociation 
 met at Danbury, as to my learning, and expe- 
 riences in religion, and received a licence from 
 them to preach the gofpel of Chrift. After- 
 wards I felt much devoted to God ; joined 
 in prayer with one of the minifters ; and went to 
 bed reiblving to live devoted to God all days. 
 
 PART III. 
 
 From the time of his being licenfed to preach, till he 
 xt) as examined in New-York, andappcinted Miflionary 
 among the Indians. 
 
 FRIDAY, July 30, 1742. I rode from Danbury 
 to Southbury ; preached there from i Pet iv. 
 (i. I had much of the comfortable preCence of 
 Cod in the exercife : I had power with God in 
 prayer, and power to get hold of the hearts ©f the 
 people. 
 
 Lord's day, Auguft 8. In the morning I felt 
 C 3 tomfortably 
 
( 3<5 ) 
 
 comfortably in fecret prayer ; my foul was re- 
 frefhed with the hopes of the Heathens coming 
 to Chrift; ; I was much refigned to God, and 
 thought it was no matter what became of 
 me ? 
 
 12. This morning I was exercifed with fore in- 
 ward trials ; I had no power to pray ; but feemed 
 fhut out from God. I had in a great meafure 
 loft my hopes of God's fending me among the 
 heathens, and of feeing them flock to Chrill. I 
 faw fo much of my hcllifti vilenefs, that I appear- 
 ed worfe to myfeif than any devil : 1 wondered 
 that God would let me live, and wondered that 
 people did not (lone me, much more that they 
 would ever hear me preach ! It feemed as though 
 I neither could nor flaould preach any more : yet 
 about nine or ten o'clock, the people came, and I 
 was forced to preach. And blelfed be God he 
 gave me his prefence and fpirit : fo that I fpoke 
 with power from Job xiv. 14. Some Indians 
 cried out in great diflrefs.* and all appeared great- 
 ly concerned. After we had prayed and exhorted 
 them to feek the Lord with conftancy, and hired 
 -an Englifh woman to keep a kind of fchool among 
 them, we came away about one o'clock, and came 
 to Judea, about fifteen or fixteen miles. There 
 God was pleafed to vifit my foul with much 
 comfort, Blelfed be the Lord for all things I meet 
 with. 
 
 17. I was exceedingly depreffed in fpirit ; it 
 cuts and wounds my heart, to think how much 
 fclf exaltation, fpiiitual pride, and warmth of 
 temper, I have formerly intermingled with my 
 endeavours to promote God's work : and fome- 
 times I long to lie down at the feef of oppofers, 
 and confefs what a poor creature I have been, 
 and ftill am. Oh, the Lord forgive me, and make 
 me for the future " wife as a ferpent, and harm- 
 lefs as a dove 1" 
 
 jg. This day, being about to go from Mr. Bel- 
 lamy's 
 
 ♦ It was in a place near Kent, in the wejlern borders of 
 CccneQicut, where there is a number of Indians » 
 
{ 3» ) 
 
 lamy's at Bethlem, where I had rcfidcd feme time, 
 I prayed with him, and two or three other Chrif- 
 tian friends, and we gave ourfelves to Ciod with 
 all cur hearts, to be his for ever ; eternity look- 
 ed very near to me. If I never fee them again 
 in this world, it feemed but a few moments before 
 I fhould meet them in another. 
 
 20. I appeared fo vile to myfelf, that I hardly 
 dared to think of being fcen, efpecially on ac- 
 count of foiritual pride. However, to night I 
 enjoyed a fweet hour alone with God, (at Rip- 
 ton :) I was lifted above the frowns and flatteries 
 of this world, had a fweet relifh of heavenly joys^ 
 and my foul did as it were get into the eternal 
 world, and really tafte of heaven, 
 
 Auguft 23. I had a fweet feafon in fecret pray- 
 er ; the Lord drew near to my foul, and filled me 
 with peace and confolation. My foul tafted the 
 fweetnefs of the upper world : and was drawn 
 out in prayer for the world, that it might come 
 to Chrift ! 
 
 Augufl 30. I prayed with a Chriftian friend or 
 two ; and, I think, fcarce ever launched fo far 
 into tlie eternal world. I got fo far out on tbc 
 broad ocean, that my foul triumphed over all the 
 evils on the fhores of mortality. — Time and all 
 its gay amufcments and cruel difappointments, 
 never appeared fo inconfiderable to me before > 
 I faw myfelf nothing, and my I'oul reached after 
 God with intenle defire. I knew, I had never 
 lived a moment to him, as I fhould do ; indeed 
 it appeared to me, I had never done any thing in 
 Chriftianity ; my foul longed with a vehement 
 defire to live to God. 
 
 September 2. I preached from John vi, 67. and 
 God aflifled me ; more efpecially in my firft 
 prayer : my foul feemed then to launch quite into 
 the eternal world, and to be feparated from this. 
 Afterwards 1 preached again from Ifaiah v. 4, 
 God gave me fome afliftance ; but 1 faw myfelf a 
 poor worm. 
 
 . 4. God enabled me to wreille ardently for the 
 
 Redeemei's 
 
( 3« ) 
 
 Rcde^TTiet's kingdom; and for my dear brother 
 John, that God would make him more of a pH- 
 grim and ftranger on the earth, and fit him far 
 fingular ferviceablenefs in the world ; and my 
 heart fweetly exulted in the Lord, in the thought 
 ©f any diftreflfes that might alight on him or me, 
 in the advancement of Chrift's kingdom. 
 
 8. I felt exceedingly weaned from the world. 
 In the afternoon I difcourfed on divine things 
 with a Chriftian friend, whereby we were both 
 rcfrefhed. Then I prayed with a fweet fenfe of 
 the bleffednefs of communion with God ^ I think 
 I fcarce ever enjoyed more of God in any one 
 prayer. 1 knew not that ever I faw fo much of 
 myownnothingnefsin my life; never wondered fo, 
 that God allowed me to preach his word ; never 
 was fo aftonifl-ied as rtow* 
 
 iO. I longed with intenfe defire after God ; 
 my whole foul feemed impatient to be conformed 
 to him, andto become "holy, as he is holy.*' In 
 the afternoon, I prayed with a dear friend, and 
 had the prefenee of God with us ; our fouls uni- 
 ted to reach after a bleifed immortality, to be un- 
 clothed of the body of lin and death, and to enter 
 the bleffed world, where no unclean thing enters, 
 O, with what intenfe delire did our fouls long 
 for that bleffed day, that we might be freed from 
 fin, and for ever live to and in our God ! 
 
 Sep. 16. I enjoyed much of God in fecret pray- 
 er : felt an uncommon refignation, to be and do 
 what God pleafed. Some days paft, I felt great 
 perplexity on account of my p^lt condu£k ; my bit* 
 iernefs, and want of Chridian kindnels and love> 
 has been very dijirejftng to my foul ; the Lord for- 
 give me my unchrijlian zvarmth, and want of a fpi- 
 rit of meeknefs ! 
 
 18. I felt compafTion for fouls, and mourned 
 I had no more. I feel much more kindnefs, 
 meeknefs, gentlenefs, and love towards all man- 
 kind, than ever. I longed to be at the fec^ 
 of my enemies and pcrfecutors, cnj^oyed fome 
 
 fweetnefs^ 
 
( 33 ) 
 
 fwcetnefs, in feeling my foul conformed to Chrifl 
 Jefus, and given away to him for ever. 
 
 [Through this, and the two following creeks, 
 he paffed through a variety of cxercifes ; he was 
 frequently deje6led, and felt inward diflrelTes : 
 and fometimes funk into the depths of melancho- 
 ly : at which turns, he was not exercifed about 
 the ftate of his loul, with regard to the favour of 
 God, but about his own finful infirmities, and 
 unfitnefs for God's fervice. His mind appears 
 fometimes extremely deprefled with a fenfe of in- 
 exprefiible vilenefs. But in the mean time, he 
 fpeaks of many feafons of comfort and fpiritual 
 refrefliment.] 
 
 Lord's day, Oft. 17. I had a fenfe of my help- 
 lefTnefs ; fdw that I muft be dependent on God for 
 all I want ; and efpecially when I went to the 
 place of public worfhip ; I found I could not 
 fpeak a word for God without his fpecial ailiiU 
 ance: I went into the affembly trembling, as I fre- 
 quently do, under a fenfe of my infufficiency to do 
 any thing, as I ought to do. But it pleafcd God to 
 afford me much aflfiflance, atid there feemed to be 
 a confiderable effe6l on the hearers. O that i 
 might be «• faithful to the death, fulfilling as an 
 hireling my day," till the fhades of the evening 
 of life fhall free my foul from the toils of the day! 
 This evening I felt fuch longing de(ires after de- 
 liverance from fin, and conformity to God, as 
 melted my heart. Oh, I longed to be " delivered 
 from this body of death !" to be conformed to 
 God entirely, fully, and for ever. I fcarce ever 
 preach without being fird vifited with inward con- 
 flifts and fore trials. Bleifedbcthe Lord for thefe 
 trials and diftreffes, as they are bieded for my 
 humbling. 
 
 18. I felt fome fweetnefs, but was Hill preffed 
 through trials of foul. My life is a conflant mix- 
 ture of confolations and conflids, and will be 
 fo till I arrive at the world of fpirits. 
 
 19. This morning and lad night, felt a fweet 
 longing in rny foul after holinefs : my foul 
 feemed fo to reach and flretch towards the 
 
 marli 
 
( 54 ) 
 
 Tftark of perfeft fandity, that it was ready to breaV 
 with longings. 
 
 21. 1 hdd a very deep fenfe of the vanity of the 
 world,' had iittle more regard to it, than if I had- 
 been to go into eternity the next hour. Through 
 divine goodnefs, 1 felt very ferious and folemn. 
 Oj I love to live on the brink of eternity ! This^ 
 gives me an awful, and reverential fenfe of God 
 and divine things, when I fee my (qU Jianding be* 
 fme tke judgment feat of Chrifi, 
 
 2 2. 1 was uncommonly weaned from the world: 
 my foul delighted to-be 2^.jiranger and a pilgrim orv 
 ihz earth ; I felt a difpolition never to have any 
 thing to do with this world : the character givenf 
 ofloine of the antient people of God, in Heb. 
 xi. 13, was very pleafing to me, " They confelT* 
 cd that they were pilgrims and ftrangers on the^ 
 earth ;" and O that I could always do fo !— It is 
 fweet ta be thus uteaned from friends^ and from 
 myfelf, and dead to the world, that I may live 
 "wholly to and upon the bleffed God. 
 
 25. [At Turky-Hills] In the evening I enjoyed 
 the divine p re fence : it w^s a comfortable feafon: 
 my foul longed for God^ for the living God : 1 en- 
 joyed a fweet Solemnity of fpirit, and longing de- 
 fiie after the recovery of the divine image: '<Then 
 ihall I be fatisficd, when I awak« in God's like, 
 nefs," and never before. 
 
 26. [At Wed Suffield] I underwent the mod 
 dreadful diftrelTes, under a fenfe of my own un- 
 worthinefs. It feemed to me, that I defcrved 
 rather to be driven out of the place, than to have- 
 any body to come to hear me preach. My fpirits 
 were fo deprefled, that it was impoflible I (hould 
 treat immortal fouls with faithfulnefs : I could 
 not deal clofely and faithfully with them, I felt 
 fo infinitely vile in myfelf. Oh, what dujt and 
 afhts I am, to think of preaching the gofpel to 
 others! Indeed I never can be faithful one moment, 
 but fhall certainly "daub with untempered mortar'* 
 il God. does not grant me fpeoial help. In the 
 
 evening 
 
( 35 ) 
 
 iTig, I went to the Meeting-houfc, and it looked 
 to me near as cafy for one to rife out of the grave 
 and preach, as for me. However, God was 
 pleafed to lift me up, and enable me to preach. 
 O the wonderful goodnefs of God to fo vile 
 a iinner ! 
 
 27. I was not a little concerned about preach- 
 ing in the afternoon : felt exceedingly zvithout 
 Jlrength, went into the houfe, afliamed to fee any 
 come to hear fuch an unfpeakably worthlels 
 wretch. However, God enabled me to fpeak 
 with clearnefs, power, and pungency. 
 
 Nov. 4. [At Lebanon] I was concerned that I 
 had no more fenfe of my inlufficiency and un- 
 worthincfs. O it is fwect lying in the dujl ! But 
 it is diflrefTing to feel in my foul that hell of cor- 
 ruption. — In the afternoon 1 had a fenfe of the 
 importance of a ftrift and conftant devotednefs to 
 Cod, and felt a pleafing, yet painful concern, left 
 I fhould fpend fome moments zvithout God, O 
 may I always live to God f In the evening 1 felt 
 an intcnfe defire to fpend every moment for God« 
 He is unfpeakably gracious to me continually : 
 In times paft, he has given me inexprefiiblc 
 fweelnefs in the performance of duty; frequently 
 ir.y foul has enjoyed much of God; but has been 
 ready to fay, " Lord, it is good to be here;" and 
 fo to indulge floth. But of late God has been 
 pleafed to keep my foul hungry, almoll con- 
 tinually; fo that I have been filled with a kind of 
 pleafing pain. When I really enjoy God, I feci 
 my delires of him the more iniruiable, and my 
 thirftings after holinefs the more, unquenchable ; 
 and the Lord will not allow me to feel as though 
 I were fully fupplied and fatisfied, but keeps me 
 {\{\\ reaching forward : and 1 feel barren and 
 empty, as though 1 could not live, without more 
 of God in me; I feci afhamed before God. Oil 
 for holinefs! for more of God in my foul! Oh 
 this pleafing pain ] It makes my foul prels after 
 God; the language of it is, '* Then fliall I be 
 fatisficd, when I awake in God's likenefs," but 
 
 never, 
 
( 35 ) 
 
 never, never before : and confequcntly I am en- 
 gaged to " prcfs towards the mark," day by day. 
 O that I may feel this continual hunger, and not 
 be retarded, but rather be anim^.ted by every 
 clufler fiom Canaan, to reach forward in the 
 narrow way, for the full enjoyinent and podelTion 
 of the heavenly inheritance ! O that 1 may never 
 loiter in my heavenly journey. 
 
 Lord's dcsy, Nov. 7. it feemed as if fuch an 
 unholy wretch as I never could arrive at that 
 bleffednefs, to be *' holy, as God is holy." At 
 noon 1 longed for fanftification, and conformity 
 to God. Oh, that is the all, the all! The 
 Lord help me to prefs after him for ever. 
 
 8. I longed for an arrival in the heavenly country^ 
 the blelTcd Paradife of God. Through divine 
 goodnefs, 1 have fcarce feen the day, for two 
 months, but death has looked fo pleafant to me, 
 that I could have rejoiced the prefent fhoulH be 
 n^iy lajt J and I truft that I fhall be able to fay, 
 •' O death, where is tiiy fling ! and, O grave, 
 Avhcre is thy vitlory !" 
 
 Nov. 19. At New-Haven, I received a letter 
 from Mr, Pemberton, of New-York, defning me 
 fpeedily to go down thither, and confult about 
 the Indian affairs in thofc parts, and to meet cer- 
 tain gentlemen there that were intrufledwilh thofc 
 affairs. I was enabled to leave myfelf and all my 
 concerns with God. 
 
 Nov. 24. I came to New-York ; felt ftill much 
 concerned about the importance of m^y bufmefs ; 
 put up many c^rncft. requelts to God ; Vvas con- 
 fufed with the noife and tumult of the city ; en- 
 joyed but little time alone with God ; but my foul 
 longed after him. 
 
 25. I fpent much time in prayer and fuppli- 
 cation : was examined by fome gentlemen of 
 my Chriftian experience, and my acquaintance 
 with divinity, and fome other (tudies, in order 
 to my improvement in that important affair 
 
 of 
 
E 37 ] 
 
 oFgofpelllzing the Heathen* : was made fenfible 
 of my great ignorance and unfilncfs for public fer- 
 Vice : I had the mod abaling thoughts of mylclf, 
 I think, that ever I had : I thought myfelf the 
 word wretch that ever lived : it pained my very- 
 heart, that any body fliould (hew me any rdpe^t:, 
 Alas ! 1 thought, how fadly they are deceived 
 in me ! how miferably would they be difappoint- 
 ed, if they knew my infide ! Oh my heart ! And 
 in this depreffed condition, 1 was forced to go and 
 preach to a confiderable alfcmbly, before iome 
 grave and learned miniflers ; but ^elt fuch a pref- 
 fu re from a fenfe of my vilenefs, ignoranct--, and 
 unfitnefs to appear in public, that 1 was almolt 
 overcome with it ; my foul was grieved for the 
 congregation, that they fhould fit there to hear 
 fuch a dead dog as I preach ; I thought myfelf in- 
 finitely indebted to the people, and longed that 
 God would reward them with his grace. 
 
 * Thefe gentlemen ikat examined Mr, Brainerdf 
 zoere the corrcfpondcnt^s in New-York, New-Je'rjey^ 
 amd Pennjylvania^ of the honour abie fociety in Scot-- 
 land for propagating Chrijlian knozckdge : to whom 
 was committed the management oj their affairs in thoft 
 parts, and zvho tuere now met at New-York, 
 
 PART IV. 
 
 From the time oJ kis being appointed Mi(^on^ry, to 
 his entrance on his miffion among the Indians at 
 Kaunaumeek. 
 
 FRIDAY, Nov. 26. 1 had ftiU a fenfeof my own 
 vilenefs, and endeavoured as much as I could 
 to keep alone. Oh, what a nothing, what duft 
 and aihes am 1 ! — I enjoyed fome comfort in 
 fprcading my complaints before God. 
 
 27, 1 committed my foul to God with fome 
 
 degree of comfort ; left New-York about nina 
 
 in the morning ; CAme away with a difhciring 
 
 D ienfa 
 
r 38 3 
 
 fenfe of my unfpeakablc unworthincfs. Surely I 
 may well love all my brethren : for none of them 
 all is as vile as I ; whatever they do outwardly, 
 yet it feems to me none is confcious of fo much 
 inward fin. O my leanncfs, my barrennefs, my 
 paR bittcrnefs, and want of a golpcl-tempcr ! 
 
 Dec. X' My foul breathed after God, in long- 
 Ing defires of conformity to him: my foul was 
 brought to reft itfelf, on his rich grace, and felt 
 ilrength to door fuffer any thing that divine pro- 
 vidence fliould alot me. 
 
 [Within the fpace of the next nine days, he 
 went from Newton to Iladdam, his native town ; 
 and after flaying there fome days, returned again 
 into the wcilern part of Conne6licut, and came to 
 Southbury.] 
 
 Dec. 11. I converfed with a dear friend, to 
 vhom I had thoughtof giving a liberal education 
 that he might be fitted for the gofpel-miniftry, I 
 acquainted him with my thoughts in that matter, 
 and fo left him to confider of it, till I fhould lee 
 him again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, to Mr* 
 Bellamy's lodgings ; and fpent the evening with 
 him in fweel convcrfation and prayer. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec 12. I felt a diltreiring need of 
 divine help ; I went to meeting trembling : but 
 it pleafcd God to aiTifb me in prayet and fermon ; 
 my foul fcarce ever penetrated fo far into the im- 
 material world, nor were my devotions ever fo 
 free from grofs conceptions and imaginations. I 
 preached with fome fwectnefs, from Mat. vi, 33, 
 ** Seek ye firft the kingdom of God," and in the 
 afternoon from Rom. xv. 30. Blcffed be God, I 
 have reafon to think, that my religion is become, 
 more fpiritual, by means of my late inward con- 
 {lifts. May I always be willing that God fhould 
 ufe his own methods with me !— I felt much of 
 ihelweetnefs of religion, and the tendernefs of the 
 gofpel-lemper: I found a dear love to all mankind 
 and was afraid of fcarcely anything fo much as left 
 
 font 
 
t 39 J 
 
 Tome motion of anger or refentment fhould, feme 
 time or other, creep into my heart. 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 19. At the Lord's fupper I 
 fecmed ftrong in the Lord : and the vvorld, witb 
 all its frowns and flatteries, in a great meafure, 
 difappeared, h that my foul had nothing to do- 
 with them : and I felt a difpofition to be wholly 
 and for ever the Lord's. 
 
 21. I had a fenfe of my infufficiency for any- 
 public woik, as well as to live to God, I roda 
 over to Derby, and preached there : it pleated 
 God to enable me to fpeak with a foft'and tender 
 power and energy. We had afterwards a com- 
 fortable evening in finging and prayer : God ena- 
 bled me to pray with as much fpirituali^y as I 
 have done for fome time : my mind feemed to be 
 unclothed of fenfe and imagination, and in a mea- 
 fure let into the world of Ipirits. This day wasy 
 1 trufl, made profitable to a number of us, to ad- 
 vance our fouls in holinefs and conformity to God: 
 the glory be to him for ever. How bleffed it is to 
 grow more and more like God ! 
 
 Lord's day, Dec. 26. I felt much tendernefs In 
 prayer ; efpecially my whole foul feemed to love 
 my worft enemies ; and I was enabled to pray for 
 thofe that are flrangers and enemies to God, with 
 a great degree of foftnefs and pathetic fervour. 
 
 27. I enjoyed a precious feafon ; I had a pleaf- 
 ing fenfe of the fpirituality of the religion of 
 Chrift Jefus. In the evening, 1 preached with 
 much freedom, power and pungency. O the ten- 
 dernefs I felt in my foul I If ever 1 felt the tem- 
 per of Chrifl, it was now. Bleffed be my God, I 
 have feldom enjoyed a more comfortable and pro- 
 fitable day than this. O that 1 could fpend all my 
 time for God ! 
 
 Jan. 14, 1742. My fpiritual conflifts were un- 
 
 fpcakably dreadful, heavier than the mountains 
 
 and overflowing floods : 1 feemed incluled. 
 
 Da iA 
 
r 40 ] 
 
 in hell itfelf : I was deprived of allfenfe of God, 
 even of his Being ; and that was my mifcry. This 
 was diftrefs, the ncare/> a kin to the damned's tor- 
 ments, that I ever endured : their torment, I am 
 fure, will confift much in a privation of God, 
 and confequently of all good. This taught mc 
 the abfolute dependence of a cieature upon the 
 Creator, for every crumb of happiriefs it enjoys. 
 Oh ! I feel that if there is no God, though I 
 might live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, 
 but all other worlds, 1 fhould be ten thoufand 
 times more miferable than a toad. My foul was 
 in fuch anguifh I could not eat, but felt, as I fup- 
 pofed a poor wretch would, that is j ill going to 
 the place of execution. I was almoil fwallowed 
 up with anguifh, when I faw people gathering 
 together to hear me preach. However, I went 
 to the houfe of God, and foimd not much relief 
 in the firft prayer : But afterwards God was plcaf- 
 ("d to give me freedom and enlargement, and I 
 Jpent the evening comfortably. 
 
 Lord's day, Jan. 23. I fcarce ever felt myfelf 
 fo unfit to exift, as now : I faw I was not worthy 
 of a place among the Indians, where 1 am going ; 
 1 thought I fhould be afhamed to look them in 
 the face, and much more to have any refpe£t 
 fhewn me. Indeed I felt myfelf banifiied from 
 the earth, as if all places were too good for fueh 
 a. wretch as I : I thought I fhould be afhamed to 
 go among the very favages of Africa ; I appeared" 
 10 myfelf a creature fit for nothing, neither hea- 
 ven nor earth. None knows, but thofe that feel 
 3tj, what the foul endures that is fenfibly fhut out 
 from the prefence of God, alas ! it is more bitter 
 than death. 
 
 26. I preached to a pretty large afTembly : in- 
 fiflcd on humility, and Itedfaftnefs in keeping 
 God's comm.ands : and that through humility we 
 fhould prefer one another in love. I felt fweetly 
 calm, and f;iil of brotherly love : and never more 
 free from party-fpirit. I hope, fome good v/ill 
 follow, that Chridians will be freed from party- 
 aedl and ccnfuring one another. 
 
C 4« ] 
 
 [On Thurfday, after a confiderable time fpcnt 
 iti prayer and chriftian converfation, he rode to 
 New-London.] 
 
 28, Here I found fome carried away with a 
 ialfe zeal and bitterners. Oh, the want of a gof- 
 pcl-temper is greatly to be lamented. I fpent the 
 evening in converling with fome about lome 
 points of conduft in both minifters and private 
 Chrillians ; but did not agree with them : God 
 had not taught them luith briars and thornsy to- be of 
 a kind difpofition toward mankind. 
 
 Feb 2. 1 preached my farewcll-fermon, at the 
 houfe of an aged man, who had been unable to 
 attend on the public worlhip for lome time ; and 
 this morning Ipent the time in prayer. Having 
 taken leave of my friends, I fet out on my jour- 
 ney towards the Indians ; though by the way I 
 was to fpcnd fome time at Laft-Ha»mptan on Long- 
 Ifland, by the leave of the commiffioners ; and 
 being accompanied by a meirenger from Raft- 
 Hampton, we travelled to Lyme. On the road 
 I felt an uncommon pveffure of mind: 1 ieemcd to- 
 ftruggle hard for fome pleafure here below, and 
 feemed loth to give up all ; 1 faw I was throwing 
 myfeif into all hardfhipsand difhefles: I thought. 
 it would be lefs difficult to lie dawn in the grave;, 
 but yet 1 chofe togo^rathcr than Hay.—— i came 
 to Lyme that night, 
 
 [He waited the two next days for a paSage over 
 tlie Sound, and fpent much of the time in inward 
 confli6ls. On Saturday he eroded the Sound^. 
 landed on Long-Ifland, and travelled to Eall- 
 Hampton. The feven following days he {pent 
 there, for the moll part, under extreme dejettion. 
 of mind.] 
 
 Lord's day, Feb 13.. I was under a great de- 
 gree of dilcouragement ; knew not how it was 
 poffible for rne to preach in the afternoon ; was. 
 ready to give up all forgone i; but God was picafcd 
 to afiiil m^, in the evening, my heart was fweet.*- 
 ly drawn out after God, and devoted to him. 
 
 D 3. 1^, Es^lj 
 
[ 4^ ] 
 
 J 5* Early in the day I felt fome comfort ; aftcr- 
 ivartis I waJked into a neighbouring grove, and 
 felt ii.ore ijs a llranger on earth than ever before; 
 dead to all of the enjoyments of the vi^orld, as if I 
 had been dead in a natural fenfe. In the evening 
 J had fvv eetnefs in fecrct duty : God was then my 
 portion, and my foul rofe above thofe deep waters, 
 into which I have funk fo low of late. 
 
 17. I preached at a little village belonging to 
 Eafl Hampton ; and God was pleafed to give me 
 his gracious prefenccand afli fiance, fothat I fpake 
 •with freedom, boldnefs, and power. In the even- 
 in? 1 Ipci^t fome time with a dear Chriftian 
 friend ; f^lt ^s on the brink of eternity ; my foul 
 enjoyed fwcetnefs in lively apprehenfions of lland- 
 in2 before the glorious God : prayed with my 
 clear friend ^^^ difcourfed with the utmoft fo- 
 lemnity. And truly it was a little emblem of hea- 
 ven itfelf. 
 
 1 8. Moft of the day, I found accefs to the throne 
 of grace. Bleffed be the Lord for any intervals of 
 heavenly delight and compofure, while 1 am en- 
 gaged in the field of battle. O that I might be 
 ferious, folemn, and always vigilant, while in 
 an evil world ! 
 
 During the next fortnight, he, for the moft 
 part, enjoyed much fpiritual peace and comfort. 
 It appears by his account, that this fpace of time 
 was filled up with great diligence and earneftnefs 
 in ferving God, in fludy, prayer, meditation, 
 preaching, and private inftruftingandcounfelling. 
 
 March 7. This morning when I arofe, I found 
 iny heart go forth after God in longing defires of 
 conformity to him : and in fecret prayer I found 
 myfelf fweetly quickened and drawn out in 
 praifes to God for all he had done for me, and 
 for al! my inward trials and diftreffes : my heart 
 afcHJbed glory, glory, glory to the bleffed God ! 
 and bid welcome to all inward diftrefs again, if 
 God favv meet to exeicife me with it : time ap- 
 peared 
 
r 43 1 
 
 peared but an inch long, and eternity at hand : 
 and I thought I could with patience and chear- 
 fulnefs bear any thing for the caufe of God ; for I 
 faw that a moment would bring me to a world of 
 peace and bleflednefs ; and my foul, by the 
 ftrength of the Lord, rofe far above this lower 
 world, and all the vain amufemcnts and difap- 
 pointments of it. 
 
 Lord's day, March 13. At noon, I thought it 
 impoffible for me to preach, by reafon of bodily 
 weakncfs and inward deadnefs ; in the firfl: pray- 
 er, I was fo weak that I could hardly ftand ; but 
 in fermon, God Itrengthened me, fo that I fpake 
 near an hour and half with freedom, clearnefs, 
 and tender power, from Gen, v. 84 " Enoch 
 walked with God." I was enabled to infdl on a 
 clofe walk with God, and to leave this as my part- 
 ing advice to God's people here, that they Jhould 
 walk zvith God, May the God of all grace fucceed 
 jny poor labours in this place ! 
 
 19. I was diftrefled under a fenfe of my ignor- 
 ance, darknefs, andunworthinefs ; got alone, and 
 poured out my complaint to God in the bitternefs 
 of my foul.— In the afternoon I rode to Newark, 
 and had fome fweetnefs in converfation with Mr, 
 Burr, and in praying together. O blefled be God 
 for ever and ever, for any enlivening and (Quick- 
 ening ! .' 
 
 20. I preached in the forenoon : the Lord ena- 
 bled me to fpeak with real tendernefs, love, and 
 impartiality. In the evening,^ I preached again ; 
 and, of a truth, God was pieafed to affift a poor 
 worm. I was enabled to fpeak with life, power, 
 and pafiionate defire of the edification of his peo- 
 ple. In the evening, I felt fomething fpiritual 
 and watchful, left my heart, {hould by any means 
 be drawn away from God. Oh, when fhall I come 
 to that blefled world, where every power of my 
 foul will be inccffantly and eternally woundup 
 in heavenly employments and enjoyments, to the 
 higheft degree J 
 
 Qn 
 
[ 44 ] 
 
 [On Monday he went to Woodbridge, where 
 the correfpondents^ inftead of fending him to the, 
 Indians at the Forks of Delaware, as they intend- 
 ed, ordered him to go to a number of Indians, at 
 Kaunaumeek, a place in the province of New- 
 York, in the woods between Stockbridge and Al- 
 bany. This alteration was occafioned by two 
 things, viz, i. Information that the correfpon- 
 dents had received of fome contention now fub- 
 fifting between the white people and the Indians 
 at Delaware, which they fuppofed would be a 
 hindrance at prefent to their entertainment of 
 a mifTionary, and to his fucccfs among them. And, 
 2. Some intimations they had received from Mr. 
 Sergeant, mifTionary to the Indians at Stockbridge, 
 concerning the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and the 
 profpefl of fuccefs that a mifTionary might have 
 among thera.J 
 
 P A R T V. 
 
 From his Jirji beginning to infiruEt the Indians at 
 Kaunaumtek, to his Ordination. 
 
 FRIDAY, April i, 1743., I rode to Kaunaumeek^ 
 near twenty miles from Stockbridge^ where 
 the Indians live, with whom I am concerned^ 
 and there lodged on a little heap of flraw : was 
 greatly exercifed with inward diflrefTes all day ; 
 and in the evening, my heart was funk, and I 
 feemed to have no God to go to. O that God 
 •would help me I 
 
 The place, as to its fituation, was fufEciently 
 lonefome, and unpleafant, being encompaffed 
 ■with mountainsand woods : twenty miles diflant 
 from any Englifh inhabitants ; fix or feven from 
 any Dutch ; and more than two from a family 
 that came fome time Gnce, from the Highlands of 
 Scotland, and had then lived about two years in 
 this wildernefs. In this family I lodged about 
 the fpace of three months, the mafler of it being^ 
 the only perfon with whom I could readily con* 
 verfe in thofe parts, except my interpreter ; other* 
 uiidcrlianding very little Englifh, 
 
 A^ril 
 
r 45 J 
 
 April 7. I appeared to myfelf exceediivg I'gno- 
 rant, helplefs, and unworthy, and altogether une- 
 qual to my work. It fecmcd to me I Qiould ne- 
 ver do any fervice, or have any fuccefs among the 
 Indians. I was weary of life ; and longed for 
 death, beyond meafure. When I thought of any 
 godly foul departed, my foul was ready to envy 
 him his privilege, thinking, *' Oh, when will my 
 turn come ! mud it be years firft !" — But 1 know 
 thofe defires rofe partly for want of refignation to 
 God. Towards night, I had faith in prayer, and 
 forrve afTiilance in writing. . O that God wouM 
 keep nie near him ! 
 
 8. I was exceedingly prefTed under* a fenfc of 
 my party fpir it, in times pad, while I attempted 
 tx) promote the caufc of God : its vile nature ap- 
 peared in fuch odious colours, that my very heart 
 was pained : I faw how poor fouls ft.unblcdover 
 it into everlafting dellruftion, and was conllrain* 
 ed to make that prayer in the bitternefs of my 
 fcul, "O Lord, deliver me from blood-guiltineft>.'* 
 I faw my defsrt of hell on this ticcount. My foul 
 was full of anguiih and fname before God, that I 
 had fpent fo much time in converfation tending 
 only, to promote a party -fpirit. I law I had not fuit- 
 ably prized mortiiication, felf-denial, refignation 
 under all adverlities, meeknefs, love, candour, and 
 holinefs of heart and life : and this day was almod 
 wholly fpent in fuch foul affli^ling refleflions on 
 my pad conduft. — Of late, 1 have thought much 
 of having the kingdom of Chrift advanced in the 
 world ; but now I faw I had enough to do within 
 myfelf. The Lord be merciful to me a finner, 
 and wafh my foul ! 
 
 10. I preached to the Indians, both forenoot^ 
 and afternoon. They behaved foberly in general : 
 two or three appeared under fome religious con- 
 cern ; with whom I difcourfed privately \^ and 
 . one told me, '< her heart had cried, ever firice 
 the heard mc preach fiift." 
 
 J 3. My 
 
C 48 ) 
 
 13. My heart was overwhelmed within me : 
 I veriiy thought 1 was the meanefl, vilefl, mofl 
 helplefs, ignorant creature living. And yet I 
 knew what God had done for my foul: though 
 fometim(=s I was affaulled with doubts whether it 
 was pofTible for fuch a wretch as I to be in a (late 
 of grace. 
 
 19. In the morning I enjoyed fome fweet re- 
 pofe and reft in God; felt (ome ftre«-j^h and con- 
 fidence in God ; and my foul was refrefhed and 
 comforted. I was lifted above the deep toatersf 
 wherein 1 had been fo long almoft drowned ; I 
 found myfelf engaged for the advancement of 
 Chrifl's kingdom in my own foul, more than in 
 others, more than in the Heathen world. 
 
 20. I fet apart this day for fafting and prayer, 
 to bow my foul before God for grace; efpecially 
 that all my inward diilreffes might be fanftified. 
 I endeavouied alfo to jemember the goodnefs of 
 God to me in the year paft, this day being my 
 birth-day. I am now arrived at the age of twenty- 
 five. My foul was pained, to think of my barren- 
 nefs and deadnefs ; that I have lived fo little to 
 the glcry of God. 1 fpent the day in the woods 
 alone, and there poured out my complaint to the 
 Lord. O that he would enable me to live to his 
 glory for the future 1 
 
 22, My leannefs teftifies againft me I my foul 
 abhors itfclf for its unl.kenels to God, its inafti- 
 vity and fluggifhnefs When I have done all, 
 alas, what an unprofitable fervant am 1 ! My 
 foul groans, to fee the hours of the day roll away, 
 becaufc I do not fill them, in fpirituality and 
 heavenly-mindednefs. And yet I long they fhould 
 fpeed their pace, to haften me to my eternal home, 
 where I may fill up all my moments, through 
 eternity, for God and his glory. 
 
 May 10. I was extremely pieffed with a fenfe 
 of guilt, pollution, blindnefs : *' The iniquity of 
 my heels have compaffed me about; the fins of my 
 youth have been fet in order before me ; they have 
 gone over my head, as an heavy burden, too 
 
 heavy 
 
( 47 ) 
 
 heavy for me to bear." Almoft all the atlions of 
 my life pafl feem to be covered over with fin and 
 guilt ; and thofc of them that I performed in tlie 
 moft confcicntious manner, now fill me with 
 fhame and confufion. Oh J the pride^ felfijhrefsj 
 ignorance^ bitterncfs, party-ztal^ and the want of 
 lyve, candour, meeknefs, and gentknefs, that have 
 attended my attempts to promote religion ; and 
 this when I have reafon to hope I had real aflilt- 
 ance from above, and fome fweet intorcourfe with 
 heaven ! But, alas, what corrupt mixtures at- 
 tended my beft duties ! 
 
 After feveral weeks I found my diflance from 
 the Indians a very great difadvantage to my work 
 amongft; them, and very burdenfome to myfelf ; 
 Zb I was obliged to travel forward and backward 
 almofl daily on foot, having no palture in which 
 I could keep my horfe for that purpofc. And 
 after all my pains, I could not be with the Indians 
 in the evening and morning, which were ufually 
 the bert: hours to find them at home, and when 
 they could befl attend my in{lru6lions. 
 
 I therefore refolved to remove, and live with 
 or near the Indians, that I might watch all oppor- 
 tunities, when they were generally at home, and 
 take the advantage of fuch feafons for their in- 
 ilru£lion. 
 
 Accordingly I removed foon after; and, for a 
 time, lived with them in one of their wigwams : 
 and not long after, built me a fmall houfe, where 
 I fpent the remainder of that year entirely alone ; 
 Tny interpreter (who was an Indian) choofing 
 rather to live in a wigwam among his own 
 countrymen. 
 
 But although the difficulties of this folitary way 
 of living are not the leaft, yet I can truly fay, the 
 burden I felt refpeding my great work among the 
 poor Indians, the fear and concern that continually 
 hung upon my fpirit, led they fhould be preju- 
 diced againft Chrlftianity, by means of the in- 
 finuations of fome who (although they are called 
 Chvijiians) feem to have no concern for Chrift's 
 
 kingdom^ 
 
( 48 ) 
 
 kingdom, but had rather the Indians fhould re- 
 main Heathens, that they may with more eafe 
 cheat, and enrich themfclves by them ; the fear 
 -and concern I felt in tlicfe refpefts, were much 
 more prefling to me, than all the difficulties that 
 attended the circumflances of my living. 
 
 As to the Jiate or temper of mind^ in which I 
 fbund thefe Indians, at my firfl coming among 
 them, it was much more encouraging, than what 
 appears among thofe who are altogether unculti- 
 vated. Their jealoufies and fufpicions, and their 
 prejudices again (i Chrl-ftianiiy, were in a great 
 meafure removed by the long continued labours 
 of the Rev. Mr. Sargeant, among a number of 
 the fame tribe, to a place more than 20 miles dif- 
 tant: by which means thefe were, in fome good 
 degree, prepared to entertain the truths of Chrif- 
 tianity, inftead of objefting againfl: them, and 
 appearing entirely untraftable, as is common with 
 them at firfl, and as thefe appeared a few years 
 ago. Some of them v/ere well difpofed toward 
 religion, and feemed much pleafed with my com- 
 ing among them. 
 
 May 18. My circumflances are fuch that I have 
 no comfort, of any kind, but what I have in God. 
 I live in the molt lonefome wildernefs ; have but 
 one fingle perfon to converfe with, that can fpeak 
 £nglifh.* Moft of the talk I hear, is either 
 Highland-Scotch or Indian. I have no fellow- 
 Chriftian to whom I might unbolom myfelf, and 
 lay open my fpiritual forrows, and with whom I 
 might take fweet counfel in converfation about 
 heavenly things, and join in prayer. I live 
 poorly with refpeft to the comforts of life : moft 
 
 of 
 
 * This perfon was Mr. Brainerd's interpreter ; an ingeni- 
 ous young Indian belonging to Stockbridge, whofe name was 
 John Wauwaumpequunnant : he was inftrufted in the 
 Chriftian Rel gion by Mr. Sergeant ; and bad lived with 
 Mr. Williams, of Long-Meadow, and had been further in- 
 ftrufted by him at the charge of Mr. Hollis of London. He 
 underftood both Englilh and Indian very well, and wrote a 
 good haadt 
 
r 49 ] 
 
 lifts of boiledcom, and hafly-puddin^. I lodge 
 on a bundle of Itravv, my labour is hard, and I 
 have little appearance of f'uccefs. The Indians 
 affairs are very difficult : having no land to live 
 on, but what the Dutch threaten to drive theoi 
 from ; they have no regard to the fouls of the 
 poor Indians; and, they hate me, becaufe I come 
 to preach to them, B\i< that which makes all my 
 difficulties grievous to be borne, is, that God iiides 
 his face from me. 
 
 [From this time forward he had various exer- 
 ciles of mind : but if fcems, in the general, to 
 have been with him much after the fame manner 
 as it had been hitherto from his firll coming to 
 Kaunr.umeek, till he got into his own houfe, (a 
 little hut, that he made chiefly with his own 
 hands, with long and hard labour,) which was 
 near feven weeks from this time. Great part of 
 this time, he was deprelfed with melancholy. 
 How it was with him in thofe dark feafons, he 
 further defcribes in his diary for July 2. *' My 
 foul has for a lon/^ time been in a piteo-is condi- 
 tion» "v^'ading through a feries of forrows, of va- 
 rious kinds. 1 have been io crufhed down fome- 
 timcs with a fenfe of my meanfiefs and infinite 
 unworthinels, that I have becnafhamed that any, 
 even the meanefi of my feilow-creutures, fl^ould 
 fo much as fpend a thought about me, and have 
 wiffied while 1 have travelled among the thick 
 brakes, to drop into everlaih"ng oblivion. In this 
 cafe, I have almofl reiolved never again to fee 
 any of my acquaintance; and really thought, 
 1 could not do it and hold up my face ; and have 
 longed for the remoteR: region, for a retreat from 
 all my friends, that I might not be feen or heard 
 of any more —Sometimes the confideration of my 
 ignorance has been a means of great dillreis and 
 anxiety. And elpecially my foul has bc"en in an- 
 guifli with fei^r. (hame, andguilr, that ever I had 
 preached, or had any thought that way. — Some- 
 times my foul has been in diilrefs on feeiirg fome 
 particular corruptions : having, at the lame time, 
 ten thpufand loimcr fins and follies preiented to 
 my view. And thele attended with luch external 
 E ciicumitancef 
 
C so ] 
 
 cir€um fiances as mine at prefenfc are ; deftitute ©f 
 mofl of th« conveniences of life, and I may fay, 
 of all the pleafures of it % without a friend to 
 communicate any of my forrows to, and fome- 
 times without any place of retirement, where I 
 may unburden my foul before God, which has 
 greatly contributed to my diflrefs. 
 
 ("One main occafion of that diftreffing gloomi- 
 nef" which he was fo much exercifed wfth at 
 Kaunaumeek, was reflefting on his paft errors 
 »nd mifguided zeal at college. Therefore he re- 
 peated his endeavours tliis year for reconciliation 
 with the governors of the college. Although he 
 had been at New-Haven, in June, this year, and 
 had attempted a reconciliation ; yet, in the be- 
 ginning of July, he made anothtrjourney thither, 
 awd renewed his attempt, but ftili in vain. J 
 ' J"^y 30* ^ moved into my own houfe, and lodged 
 there that night ; found it much better fpending 
 the time alone than in ih&zvigzoam where I wa« 
 before. 
 
 Augutl 1. I was bufy in farther labours on 
 my houfe. Felt a little of the fweetnefs of reli- 
 gion, and thought it was worth while to follow 
 after G^^ through a thoufand fnares, dcferts, and 
 death itielf. O that I might always follow after 
 holinefs, that I may be fully conformed to God ! 
 
 3. I am now uninterruptedly alone ; and find 
 my retirement comfortable. I have enjoyed more 
 fenfe of divine things within a few days paft, than 
 for fome time before, I longed after holinefs, 
 humility, and meeknefs : O that God would 
 enable me to " pafs the time of my lojourning 
 here in his fear," and always live to him ! 
 
 4. I have generally found, the more I do in 
 fiecret prayer, the tiwjrc I enjoy of a fpirit of pray- 
 er ; and I frequently have found the contrary, 
 when with journeying or otherwife, I have bjen 
 deprived of retirement. A feafonable fteady per- 
 formance of fecret duties in their proper hours, 
 and a careful improvement of all time, fiU'ng up 
 every hour with lorriC profitable labour, either of 
 
 heart, 
 
[ 5« ] 
 
 beart, head, or hands, are excellent means of fpi- 
 ritual peace and boldnels before God. «* Chrift" 
 indeed " is our peace, and by him we have bold- 
 nefs of accefs to God ;" but a. good confcience, void 
 of oj^cnce, is an excellent preparation for an ap- 
 proach to the divine prcfence. Filling up our 
 time zvith and for God, is the way to rile up and 
 lie' down in peace. 
 
 Auguft 13. I was enabled in fecret prayer to 
 raife my foul to God, with defire and delight. 
 It was indeed a bleffed feafon to my foul : I found 
 the comfort of being a chrillian : I counted the 
 fufferings of the prefent life not worthy to be 
 compared with the glory of divine enjoyments 
 even in this world. All my paft forrows leemed 
 to difappear, and I remembered no more the for- 
 row for joy. With what filial tendernefs, the foul 
 hangs on, and confides in the Rock of ages, at fuch 
 a feafon, that he will " never leave it nor forfake 
 it," that he will caufe «' all things to work toge- 
 ther for its good!" 1 longed, that others (liould 
 know how good a God the Lord is. My foul was 
 full of tendernefs and love, even to the moft in- 
 veterate of my enemies. 1 longed that God 
 ihould dp juft as he pleafed with me. I felt ex- 
 ceeding ferious, calm, and peaceful, and encoura- 
 ged to prefs after holinefs as long as I live, what* 
 ever difficulties and trials may be in my way. 
 
 15. In my weak ftate of body, I was not a little 
 diflreded for want of fuitable food. I had no 
 bread, nor could I get any. I am forced to go or 
 fend ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; 
 and fometimes it is mouldy and four before 1 eat 
 i^, if I get any confiderable quantity : and then 
 again I have none for fome days together, for 
 ■want of an opportunity to fend for it. And this 
 ■was my cafe now : but through divine goodnels I 
 had fome Indian meal of ■which I made little 
 cakes, and fried them. And I felt contented 
 ■with my circumftances, and fwcetly refigned to 
 God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and 
 blclled God as much for my prefent circumftances, 
 £ 2 as 
 
r 5* ] 
 
 as if I had been a king, and I never feel comfort* 
 ably, but when I find my foul going forth after 
 God : if I cannot be holy, I muftbe miferablefor 
 ever. 
 
 21. I fell down before the Lord, and groaned 
 under my own vilenefs, barren ncfs, deadnefs, and 
 felt as if I was guilty of foul-murder, in fpeaking* 
 to immortal fouls in fuch a manner as 1 had done. 
 I was very ill and full of pain in the evening ; 
 and my foul mourned that I had fpent {^6 much 
 time to fo little profit. 
 
 22. I had intenfe and paflionate breathing of 
 foul after holinefs, and very clear manifeftations 
 of my utter inability to procure, or work it in 
 myfelf : it is wholly owing to the power of God. 
 O, with whattendernefs the love and defire of ho- 
 linefs fills the foul J I wanted to wing out my- 
 felf to God, or rather to get a conformity to him : 
 but, alas ! I cannot add to my ftature in grace 
 one cubit. However, my foul can never leave 
 ftriving for it ; or at leaft groaning that it cannot 
 obtain more purity of heart, 
 
 23. I poured out my foul for all the world, 
 friends, and enemies. My foul was concerned 
 for Chiift's kingdom that it might appear, in the 
 whole earth. And I abhorred the very thought 
 of Si party in religion! Let the truth of God appear, 
 wherever it is; and God have the glory for ever. 
 
 24. I thought, if God (hould fay, <' Ceafe mak- 
 ing any provifion for this life, for you (hall in a 
 few days go into eternity," my foul would leap for 
 Joy. O that I may both <* defire to be difiblved 
 and *' wait patiently all the days of my appointed 
 time, till my change come !" — But, alas ! I am 
 very unfit for the bufinefs and bleffedncfs of hea- 
 ven.— O for more holinefs I 
 
 25. I find it is impoflible to enjoy peace and 
 tranquility of mind without a careful improve- 
 jnent of time. This is really an imitation of God 
 and Chrifl Jefus ; " My father worketh hitherto, 
 and 1 work," fays our Lord, But Hill, if we would 
 
 be 
 
r 63 1 
 
 be like Godj we muft fee that we fill up our time 
 for him. — I daily long to dwell in perfeft light 
 and love. In the mean time, my foul mourns 
 that I rnake fo little progrefs in grace, and prepa- 
 ration for the world of bleffednefs ; I fee and 
 know that I am a very barren tree in God's vine- 
 yard, and that He might juftly fay, " Cut it down.'* 
 O that God would make me more lively and vi- 
 gorous in grace, for his own glory ! 
 
 28. I was much perplexed with fome Dutch- 
 men. All their difcourfe turned upon the things 
 of the world. Oh, what a hell it would be to 
 fpend an eternity with fuch men ! Well might 
 David fay, " I beheld the tranfgreffors and was 
 grieved." — But adored be God, heaven is a place 
 <« into which no unclean thing enters." O I long 
 for the holinels of that world ! Lord prepare m« 
 for it. 
 
 31. Eternal things engrofled all my thoughts ; 
 and I longed to be in the world of fpirits. O how 
 liappy is it, to have all our thoughts fwallowed 
 up in that world ; to feel one's felf a ftranger ia 
 this, diligently feeking a road through it, a fure 
 road to the heavenly Jerufalem ! 
 
 Sept. 1. I always feel comfortably when God 
 realizes death, and the things of another world to 
 my mind : whenever my mind is taken ofFfrom the 
 things of this world, and fet on God, my foul is 
 at rejt, 
 
 13. I rode to New-Haven, I find though my 
 inward trials are great, and a life of folitude gives 
 them greater advantages to penetrate the inmoft 
 receffes of the foul ; yet it is better to be alone, 
 than incumbered with noife and tumult. I find 
 it very difficult maintaining a fenfe' of divine 
 things, while removing from place to place, di- 
 verted with new obj.efts, and filled with care and 
 bufinefs. A fettled fteady bufinefs is befl adapt- 
 ed to a life of drift religion, 
 
 14. This day I ought to have taken my degree^ 
 tut God fees fit to deny it me. And though I 
 
 £ 3 wa« 
 
r 64 1 
 
 was afraid of being overwhelmed with confufion, 
 when I fhould fee my clafs-mates take theirs ; 
 yet, in the very feafon of it, God enabled mc 
 with calmnefs to fay, " The will of the Lord be 
 done." Indeed, 1 have fcavcely felt my mind fo 
 fedatc and comfortable for fome time. I have 
 long feared this feafon, and expedled my humi- 
 lity, meeknefs, patience, and refignation would 
 be tried : but found much more pleafure and di- 
 vine comfort than 1 expelled. 
 
 15. It is always a comfort to me to hear fpiritu- 
 al difcourfe. O that miniflers and people were 
 more fpiritual and devoted to God ! — Towards 
 night, I offered the following refledtions in writ- 
 ing, to the reftor and truflees of the college, (the 
 fame that I had offered to the re6lor before, and 
 intreated him to accept :) and this I did, that if 
 pofTible I might cut off all occafion of offence, 
 from thofe that feek occafion. 
 
 *« Whereas I have faid before feveral perfons, 
 concerning Mr. Whittelfey, one of the tutors of 
 Yale-college, that I did not believe he had any 
 more gxace than the chair I then leaned upon ; I 
 humbly confefs that herein I have finned againfl 
 God, and afted contrary to the rules of his word, 
 »nd have injured Mr. Whittelfey, I had no right 
 to make thus free with his character ; and had no 
 jufl reafon to fay as I did concerning him. My 
 fault herein was the more aggravated, in that I 
 faid this concerning one that was fo much my fu- 
 perior, and one that I was obliged to treat with 
 fpecial refpe6l and honour, by reafon of the rela- 
 tion I flood in to him in the college. Such a man- 
 ner of behaviour, I confefs, did not become a 
 Chriflian ; it was taking too much upon me, and 
 did not favour of that humble relpeft, that I ought 
 to have expreffed towards Mr, Whittelfey, I have 
 often reflected on this aft with grief, on account 
 of the fin of it : and am willing to lie low, and 
 be abafed before God and man for it ; and hum- 
 Jaly afk the forgivenefs of the governors of the col* 
 lege, and of the whole fociety ; but of Mr, 
 
 Whittelfey 
 
( 55 ) 
 
 Whittelfey in particular. And -whereas I have 
 been accuTcd of faying concerning the reflor of 
 Yale-college, that I wondered he did not cxpe£t 
 to drop down dead for fining the fcholars that fol- 
 lowed Mr. Tenent to Nlilfoid ; 1 feiioufly pro- 
 fefs, that I do riot remember iny faying any thing 
 to this purpofe. But if I did, 1 utterly condemn 
 it, and deteft all fuch kind of behaviour. And I 
 now appear, to judge and condemn myfelf for go- 
 ing once to the feparate meeting in New-Plaven, 
 though the reftor had refufed to give me leave. 
 For this I humbly afk the re6lor's forgivenefs. 
 And whether the governors of the college fhall 
 ever fee caufe to remove the academical cenlure 
 I lie under, or no, yet I am willing to appear, if 
 they think fit, openly to own, and to humble my- 
 ielf 'for thofe things I have herein confeffed/* 
 
 God has made me willing to do any thing, that 
 J can do, confident with truth, for the fake of 
 peace, and that 1 might not be a flumbling-block 
 and offence to others. For this realon I can cheer- 
 fully give up what I verily believe, after the moft 
 impartial fearch, is my right. God has given me 
 that difpofition, that if this were the cafe, that a 
 man has done me an hundred injuries, and I 
 (though ever fo much provoked to it) have don« 
 him one, 1 am heartily willing humbly to confefs 
 jny fault to him, and on my knees to afk forgive- 
 nefs of him ; though at the lame time he fhould 
 juflify himfelf in all the injuries he has done me, 
 and fhould only make ufe of my humble confefTi- 
 on to blacken my character the more, and reprc- 
 fent me as the only perfon guilty ; yea, though he 
 fhould as it were infult me, and fay, *' he knew 
 all this before, and that I was making work for 
 repentance.'* Though what I faid concerning 
 Mr. Whittelfey was only fpoken in private, to a 
 friend or two ; and being partly overheard, was 
 related to the reftor, and by him extorted from 
 my friends ;yet, feeing it was divulged and made 
 public, I was willing to confefs my fault therein 
 publickly.* [The 
 
 *^ I was witnefs to the very Chriftian fplrlt Mr. Brainerd 
 ihewed at that time, being then at New-Haven, and being gnc 
 
[ S6 ] 
 
 The next day he went to Derb}r, then to South- 
 bury ; where he fpent the Sabbath ; and fpeaks 
 of fome fpirifual comfort; but complains much 
 of unfixednels, and wanderings of mind in re- 
 ligion. 
 
 Sep. 19. 1 felt ferious, kind and tender towards 
 all mankind, and longed that holinefs might flour- 
 ifti on earth, 
 
 20. I had thoughts of going forward on my 
 journey to my Indians ; but towards night was 
 taken with a hard pain in my teetir, andfhivering 
 cold, and could not pollibly recover a comfort- 
 able degree of warmth the whole night following, 
 I continued very full of pain all night ; and in 
 the morning had a fever, and pains almofl all over 
 my body, 1 had a fenfe of the divine goodnefs in 
 appointing this to be the place of my ficknefs, 
 among my friends. I ftiould probably have pe- 
 rifhed, if I had tirfl: got home to my own houfe 
 in the wilderneis, where I have none to converfc 
 with but the poor ignorant Indians. I continued 
 thus, moflly confined to my bed, till Friday night, 
 very full of pain ; but not afraid of death. On 
 Friday evening my pains went off fuddenly. 
 
 [From 
 
 that he faw fit to confulton that occafion. (This was the firft 
 time that ever I had opportunity of perfonal acquaintance 
 with him.) There appeared in him a great degree of calm- 
 nefs and humility ', without the leaft appearance of rifing of 
 fpiritforany ill treatment he had fufFered, or the leaft back- 
 wardneis to abafe himfelf before them whom he thought had 
 v^ronged him. What he did was without any objcftion or 
 appearance of reluftance, even in private to his friends. 
 Earneft application was made on his behalf to the authority 
 of the college, thatTie might have his degree then given him ; 
 and particularly by Mr. Burr of Newark, oneof thecorref- 
 pondents of the fociety in Scotland; he being fent from New- 
 Jerfey to New -Haven, by the reft of the commiffioners, for 
 that end ; and many arguments were ufed, but wiihout fuc- 
 cefs. — What manner of fpirit were thefe Governors of ? And 
 «lo thefe dare to call themfelvesChriftians ? 
 
I 57 I 
 
 f From this time, he gradually recovered ; and 
 on the next Tuefday was able to go forward on 
 his journey ; but was till the Tuefday following 
 before he reached Kaunaunieek.J 
 
 Oftober4. This day I rode home to my own 
 ~ houfe and people. The poor Indians appeared 
 very glad of my return. I prefcntly fell on my 
 knees, and blellcd God for my fafe return, I 
 have taken many Con fiderable journeys fince this 
 time laft year, and yet God has never fuffered. 
 one of my bones to be broken, or any diflrefling 
 calamity to* befal me, though I have been often 
 expofed to cold and hunger in the wildernefs, 
 where the comforts of life were not to be had; 
 have frequently been lofl in the woods; andfome- 
 times obliged to ride much of the night; and once 
 lay out in the woods all night. 
 
 16.1 retired and poured out my foul to God 
 "with much freedom ; and yet in anguifh, to find 
 myfelf Ibunfpeakably linful and unworthy before 
 a holy God. I was now much refigned under 
 God's difpenfations towards me, though my trials 
 had been very great. But thought whether I could 
 be refigned, if God ftiouldlet the French Indians 
 come upon me, and deprive me of my life, or 
 carry me away captive, (though I knew of nofpe- 
 cial reafon then to propofe this trial to myfelf,) 
 and my foul feemed fo far to reft in God, that the 
 fting and terror of thefe things was gone. Pre- 
 fcntly after I received the following Jetter by a 
 meffenger fent on purpofe. 
 
 "Sir, Juft now we received advices from Col, 
 Stoddard, that there is the utmoft danger of a 
 rupture with France. He has received the fame 
 from our governor, ordering him to give notice 
 to all the expofed places, that they may fecurc 
 themfelves the beft they can againft any fudden 
 invafion. We thought befl to fend direftly to 
 Kaunaumeek, that you may take the prudenteft 
 meafures for your fafety. 1 am, Sir, &c," 
 
 I thought, it came in a good feafon ; for my 
 heart feemed fixed on God, therefore I was not 
 
 iurpiizcd 
 
C 58 ] 
 
 furprized ; but this news only made me more fc- 
 rious, and taught me that I mufl not pleafe my- 
 felf with any of the comforts of life which I had 
 been preparing. 
 
 23. 1 had fome freedom and warmth, both parts 
 of the day. And my people were very attentive. 
 In the evening, two or three came to me under 
 concern for their fouls ; to whom I was enabled 
 to difcourfe clofely, and with fohieearneflnefs and 
 defire. 
 
 [He feems, through the whole of this week, to 
 have been greatly engaged to fill up every moment 
 in the fervice of God, and diligently employed 
 in ftudy. prayer, and inftrufting the Indians ; and 
 from time to time exprefles longings of foul after 
 God, and the advancement of his kingdom. "j 
 
 Oft. 31. My foul was fo Hfted up to God, that 
 I could pour out my defires to him, for more grace 
 and further degrees of fanftification, with abun- 
 dant freedom. I longed to be more abundantly- 
 prepared for that blelTednefs, with which I was 
 then in fome meafure refrefhed. 
 
 Nov. 3. I ipent this day in fecret fafting and 
 prayer, from morning till night. Early in the 
 morning, I had fome afli fiance in prayer. After- 
 wards I read the ftory of Elijah the prophet. My 
 foul was much moved, obferving the faith, zeal, 
 and power of that holy man ; and how he wreft- 
 led with God in prayer. I then cried with Eliftia 
 «« Where is the Lord God of Elijah !'* I longed 
 for more faith ! My foul bi-eathed after God, and 
 pleaded with him, that a double portion of that 
 fpirit, which was given to Elijah, might reft on 
 me, and I faw God is the fame that hi was in the 
 days of Elijah. I was enabled to wreftle with 
 God by prayer, in a more affeftionate, humble, 
 and importunate manner, than 1 have for many 
 months paft. Nothing feemed too hard for God 
 to perform ; nothing too great for me to hope for 
 from him.— I had for many months loil all hope* 
 of doing any fpecial fervice for God in the world; 
 
 it 
 
[ 59 ] 
 
 it appeared impoflible, that one fo vile fliould be 
 thus employed for God. But at this time God 
 was pleal'cd to revive this hope. Afterwards I 
 read the third chapter of Exodus and on to the 
 xxth, and faw more of the glory and majejly of 
 God difcovered in thole chapters, than ever 1 had 
 feen before ; frequently in the mean time falling 
 on my knees, and crying to God for the faith of 
 Mofes, and for a manifellation of the divine glory. 
 My foul was ardent in prayer, and I was enabled 
 to wrellle for myfelf, for my friends, and for the 
 church. I felt more defireto fee the power of 
 God in the converfion of louls, than I have done 
 for a long feafon. Bleffed be God for this feafon 
 of fading and prayer ! May his goodncfs always 
 abide with me, and draw my foul to him ! 
 
 7. This morning ray mind was folemn, fixed, 
 affeftionate, and ardent in defires after holinefs ; 
 and felt full of tendernefs and love. My afFe£lions 
 feemed to be diffolved into kindnefs and foftnefs. 
 My foul longed after God, and cried to him with 
 filial freedom, reverence, and boldnefs. O that I 
 might be entirely confecrated and devoted to 
 God! 
 
 10. I fpent this day in fafting and prayer. la 
 the morning I was dull and lifelefs; but after fbmc 
 time, reading 2 Kings xix. my foul was moved 
 and alfe6led. I faw there was no way for the af- 
 flidled to take, but to go to God with all their for- 
 rows. Hezekiah, in his great dIRrefs, went and 
 fpread his complaint before the Lord. I was then 
 enabled to fee the mighty power of God, and my 
 extreme need of that power ; and to cry to God 
 affeftionately and ardently for hrs power to be 
 ■exercifed towards me. 
 
 [The remaining part of this and the two fol- 
 lowing weeks, he was very ill, and full of pain ; 
 and yet obliged, to travel day and night, in flormy 
 and fevere ieafons. He fpeaks of feafons of di- 
 vine fwcctnels and comfort. And a conftant care, 
 
 fro£A 
 
C 60 ] 
 
 from day to day, not to lofe time, but to employ 
 it all fGr<;od.J 
 
 Nov. 29. I began to fludy the Indian tongue^ 
 with Mr. Ser>;eant at Stockbridge.* — I was per- 
 plexed for want of more retirement, I love to 
 live alone in my own little cottage, where I can 
 fpend much time in prayer. 
 
 Dec. 3. I rode home to my houfe and people. 
 Suffered much with extreme cold. I truil, I fhall 
 ere long arrive, where my toils fhall ceafe. 
 
 5. I rode to Stockbridge, but was almoft out- 
 done, with the extreme cold. I had fome re- 
 frefhing meditations by the way ; but was barren 
 and lifelefs, mucli of the day. Thus my- days 
 roll away, with but little done for God ; and this 
 is ray burden. 
 
 6. I was perplexed to fee the vanity and levity 
 of profeffed (Jhriftians : but I fpent the evening 
 with a Chriilian friend, that was able to fympa- 
 thize with me in my fpiritual conflicts. ' 
 
 8. My mind was lolt with different afFeftion?, 
 I was looking round in the world, to fee if there 
 was not fome happinefs to be derived from it, 
 
 God, and fome objeds in the world, feemed each 
 to invite my heart ; and my foul was dillrafted 
 
 between them, 1 have not been fo befet for a 
 long time ; with relation to fome objefts which I 
 thought myfelf mofl dead to. But while I was de» 
 firing to pleafe myfelf with any thing below, for- 
 row, and perplexity, attended the hril motions 
 
 * The commlflionershad tlirefled him to fpend much time 
 this winter with Mr. Sergeant, to learn the language of the 
 Indians; vhich neceffltatcd him very often to ride back* 
 wards and forwards, twenty miles through the uninhabited 
 woods between Stockbridge and Kaunaumeek. This many 
 times expofed him to extreme hardfiiip in the fevcre feafoo of 
 the winter, 
 
 of 
 
C 6' J 
 
 of defire.— I found no peace, or deliverance 'from 
 this didraftion, till I found accefs to the tlirone of 
 grace; and as loon as I had any fenfe of God, the 
 allurements of the world vanifhed. But my foul 
 mourned over my folly, that I fhould defire any 
 pleafure, but in God. God forgive my fpirituai 
 idolatry! 
 
 22. I fpent this day alone in faftlng and prayer, 
 and reading in God's word, the exercifes and de- 
 liverances of his children. I had realizing appie- 
 henfions of divine power, grace, and holinefs; 
 and alfo of the unchangeablenefs of God, that he 
 is the fame as he was, when he delivered his faint* 
 of old out of tribulation. My ioul was fundry 
 times in prayer enlarged for God's church and peo- 
 ple. O that Zion might become the ** joy of th« 
 whole earth !" 
 
 26. I rode to Stockbridge, but was very much 
 fatigued with my journey, wherein I underwent 
 great hardOiip : being much cxpofed and very wet 
 by falling into a river. I fpent the day and even- 
 ing without much fenfe of divine things : but per- 
 plexed with wandering thoughts. 
 
 2g. I fpent the day mainly in conyerfing with 
 friends; yet enjoyed little fatisfa^iion, becaufe X 
 could find but few difpofed to converle of heavenly 
 things. Alas, what are the things of this world, 
 to afford falisfaftion to the foul! — I bleficd God 
 for retirement, and that 1 am not always expclsd 
 to company. O that I could live in the fecrcL of 
 God's preience ! 
 
 30. I was in a folcmn devout fr.'.me, and won- 
 dered that earth, with all its charms, fhould ever 
 allure me in the lead degree. O that 1 could 
 always realize the being and holinefs of God ! 
 
 31. I rode from Stockbridge home: the air was 
 clear and calm, but as cold as ever J felt it. 1 
 was in great danger of pcrifhmg by the cxLieniiiy 
 of the feafon. 
 
 Lord's day, Jan. 1, 1743. Of a truth God has 
 
 been gracious to me the pail year, ilioi gh he has 
 
 cauCed ms to pafs through many fono\. s ; hs l>a& 
 
 F provided 
 
C 6. ] 
 
 provided for me bountifully, fo that I have been 
 enabled, in about fifteen months part, to beflovv 
 to charitable ufes, about an hundred pounds, Blef- 
 fcd be the Lord, that he has fo far ufed me as his 
 jhxjoard^ todiftribute 2i portion of his goods. May I 
 always remember, that all I have comes from God. 
 Bleffed be the Lord, that has carried mc through 
 all the toils, fatigues, and hardOiips of the year 
 paft. O that 1 could begin this year with God, 
 and fpend the whole of it to his giory, either in 
 life or death ! 
 
 3. My time pades away fo fwlftly, that I am 
 afloniOied when I reflcft how 111 tie I do in it. My 
 ilate of iolitude does not make the hours hang 
 heavy upon my hands. C) what reafon of thank- 
 Julndfs have I on account of this retirement ! I 
 do not lead a chrijliari life when I am abroad, and 
 cannot fpend time in devotion, Chriflian conver- 
 lation, and meditation, Thofe weeks that I am 
 obliged to be from home, in order to learn the In- 
 dian tongue, are moftly fpent in barrennefs ; and 
 I feel myfelf a ftranger at the throne of grace. 
 When I return home, and give myfelf to medita- 
 tion, prayer, and fafliing, a new fccne opens, 
 and my foul longs for mortification, ielf denial, 
 humility, and divoicement from all the things of 
 the world. 
 
 4. Time appeared a vioment, life a vapour, and 
 all its enjoyments as empty bubbles, and fleeting 
 blafts of wind. 
 
 6. Feeling my extreme weaknefs, and want of 
 grace, I let apart this day for fafling and prayer. 
 My foul intenfcly longed, that the dreadful fpots 
 and flains of my fin may be wafhed a.\ay,^ My 
 mind was greatly fixed on divine things ; my refo- 
 lution for a life of mortification, continual watch- 
 fulnefs, ielf-denial, ferioulnefs, and devotion to 
 God, were flrong and fixed ; my defires ardent 
 and intcnle : my confcience tender, and afraid of 
 every appearance of evil. My foul was grieved 
 with the rcfledi on on my pad levity, and want of 
 
 refolution 
 
C 63 ] 
 
 rcfolution for God. I folemnly renewed my de- 
 dication of myfelf to God, and longed for grace 
 to enable rac always to keep covenant with Fiim. 
 
 14. This morn'pg, I enjoyed a folemn ienion 
 in prayer : my foul fecmed enlarged, to pour out 
 itfelf to God for grace, and for every bleliing I 
 wanted, for myfelf, my dear chriftian friends, 
 and for the church of God ; and I was lo enabi d 
 to fee him uho isJnvi/Lbie, that my foul rejled upon him 
 for the performance of every thing I alked. it 
 was my happinels, to *' continue initant in prav- 
 cr." My foul was " fhrong in the Lord, and iri 
 The power of his might." I longed exceedingly 
 for angelic holinefs, and to have all my ]thoiight.s, 
 at all ti'ne?, employed in heavenly things. O 
 how blelfed is an heavenly temper ! O how un- 
 fpcakably blclTed it is, to feel a meafure of th^t 
 rrftitude, in which we were at firll created ! 
 
 [The next day he fpcaks of lome glimpies h« 
 had of the divine glories ; but feems to be hlled 
 with fears left he fhould return to a life of vanity, 
 to pleafe himfelf with fome of the enjoyments of 
 this world; and fpeaks of his being much troii- 
 bled, that he fhould addrefs immortal fouls wiih 
 no more ardency and defire of their lalvation.] 
 
 Feb. 2. I fpent this day in fading and prayer, 
 fecking the prefence and aflifiance 01 God, that r,« 
 would enable me to overcome all my corrupiioii*. 
 and fpiritual enemies. 
 
 4. I enjoyed freedom and fpiritual refrefhment-; 
 was enabled to pray with fervency, and longing 
 delires for Zion's profperity, and my faith and 
 hoi^^ittms to take hold of God, for the performance 
 of what I was enabled to plead for. San6iificatioa 
 in myfelf, and the ingathering of God's people 
 was all my deiire ; and the hope of its accomphlh- 
 ment, all my joy, 
 
 6. This morning, my foul again was flrength- 
 ened in God, and found fvveet repofe in him ; 
 longing efpecially for the complete mortification 
 of fenfuality and pride, and for refignation to God's 
 difpcnfations, ac all times, as through grace 1 felt 
 F 2 it 
 
[ 64 ] 
 
 it at this time. And I did not dcfire deliverance 
 from any difficulty that attends my circumftanccs, 
 unlefs God was willing, 
 
 7. I was much engaged in meditation on the 
 powers and affe^llons of the godly foul in the 
 puifuit of their beloved ohjefl: : wrote fomething 
 of the native language of fpiritual fenfaticn, in its 
 foft and tender whifpers; declaring, that it now 
 feels and tables that the Lord is gracious ; that he 
 is the fupreme good, the only fatisfying happi- 
 nefs ; that he is a complete, fufHcient, and almigh- 
 ty portion : faying, 
 
 '* Whom have I in heaven hut thee, and there is none 
 ifpjn earth that I defire befid-is thee, O, I feel it is 
 heaven to pJeafe himi, and to be juil what he would 
 have me to be ! O that my foul were holy, as he is 
 holy ! O that it were pure^ even as Chrijl is pure ; 
 and perJiEl, as my Father in heaven is perfeB. ! Thefe, 
 I feel, are the fweeteft commands in God's book, 
 comprifing all others. And (hall I break them ! 
 mufl I break them 1 am I under a necefiity of it 
 as long as I live in the world ! O my foul, wo, wo 
 is me that I ara a linner, becaufe I grieve and of- 
 fend this bleffed God, who is infinite in goodnefs 
 and grdce ! Oh methinks, if he would punifh me 
 for niy fins, it would not wound my heart fo deep 
 as to clfcnd him; but though I fin continually, 
 yet. he continually repeats his kindnefs to me ! I 
 could bear any fuffering ; but how can I bear to 
 grieve and difhonour th'S bleffed God ! How fhall 
 I yield ten thoufand times more honour to him ? 
 What fnall I do to glorify this bcft of beings ? O 
 that I could confccrate myfelf, foul and body, 
 to his fervice for ever ! O that I could give up 
 mvfelf to him, fo as never more to attempt to be 
 my own, or to have any will or affeftions that are 
 nut perfeftly conformed to him ! O ye angels, do 
 ye glorify him incelTantly : and if poiTible, pro- 
 ftrate yourfelves lower before the bleficd King of 
 heaven ? 1 long to bear a part with you ; and, 
 if it were poflible, to help you. Oh, when wc 
 have done all that we can, to all eternity, wc 
 ihall not be able lo offer the ten thoufandth part 
 
 of 
 
C 65 I 
 
 o»f the homage- that the glorious God dcferves!" 
 
 9. I obferved this as a day of falling and prayer, 
 intreating of God to enable me to live a life of 
 mortification to the world, as well as of refigna- 
 tion and patience. 1 enjoyed a realizing fcnic of 
 divine power and goodnefs in prayer, and w<is 
 enabled to cafl the burthen of myfelf and friends, 
 upon the goodnefs of God, 
 
 10. I was exceedingly oppreffed with fhame, 
 grief, and fear, under a fenle of my palt folly. 
 \Vhen God fets before me my mifcondutl, ei- 
 pecially any inllances ol mi/guided zeal, it links my 
 foul into {hame and confufion. — 1 have no con- 
 fidence to hold up my face, even before my fel- 
 low worms; but only when my foul confides iri 
 God, and I find the fweet temper of Chrift, the 
 fpirit of humility, folcmnity, and mortification, 
 alive in my fpul. 
 
 13. 1 rode to Stockhridge, and had a more re- 
 fielhing t-afle and rclifh of heavenly blelTednefs, 
 than I have enjoyed for many months pad. I 
 have many times, of late, felt as ardent defires 
 of holinels as ever ; but not fo much lenfe of the 
 unfpeakable piea(ure of the enjoyments of lieaven. 
 My loni longed to leave earth, and bear a part 
 with angels in their celeliial employments. Mv 
 loul laid, '• Lord, it is good to be here ;" and it 
 appeared to me better to die, than to loie the 
 reiilh of thefe heavenly delights. 
 
 VVedncfday, February 22. I had as clear a 
 fenfe of the pollution of my nature, as ever 1 re- 
 member to have had in my life. 1 then appeared 
 to myfelf inexprelTible lodthfome and defiled ; fins 
 of childhood, of early youth, and fuch follies as 
 I had not thought of for many years together, 
 came frcfh to my view, as if committed but yeiler- 
 day. Yet I WdS iupportcd under my burdens ; 
 and found it was Iwcet and comfortdble to lean, 
 on God. 
 
 Fiidjy, March 2. I never felt fo much love 
 
 to my enemies, (though at that time I found fuch 
 
 a di'polition, that 1 Icarce knew how to think 
 
 F 3 ihd« 
 
[ 66 1 
 
 tViat any fucli thing as enmity lodged in my foul ; 
 it feemcd as if all the world muft needs be fi lends ;) 
 and never prayed withjnore freedom and delight, 
 for myfeif, or dcarcll friend, than 1 did now for 
 them. 
 
 Saturday, March 3. I fpcnt an hour in prayer, 
 with great intenfenels and freedom, and with the 
 moft foft and tender affeftion towards mankind, 
 I longed that thofe who I have reafon to think 
 owe mc ill will, might be eternally happy: it 
 feemed refrefhing, to think of meeting ihem in 
 heaven, how much foever they had injured me on 
 earth : I had no difpofition to infill upon any 
 confeffion from them, in order to reconciliation, 
 and the exercife of love and kindnefs to them. O 
 it is an emblem of heaven, to love all the world 
 with a love of kindnefs, forgivenefs, and benevo- 
 lence ; to feel our fouls fedate, mild, and meek; 
 to be void of all evil furmifings and fufpicions, 
 and fcarce able to think evil of any man upon 
 any occahon ; to find our hearts hmple, open, 
 and free, to thofe that look upon us with a dif- 
 ferent eye. 
 
 Lord's day, March 4. I enjoyed the fame 
 intenfenels in prayer as yeflerday, though not in 
 lb great a degree : felt the lame fpirit of love, 
 univerial benevolence, forgivenefs, humilfty, rc- 
 fignation, mortification to the world, and comi- 
 pofure of mind, as then. '' My foul lefted, in 
 God; and I found, I wanted no other refuge or 
 friend. While my foul thus trulls in God, all 
 things feem to be at peace with me, even the 
 ilones of.the earth : but when 1 cannot appre- 
 hend and confide in God, all things appear v/ith a 
 different afpeft. 
 
 10. I felt exceeding dead to the world, and. all 
 its enjoyments : I was ready to give up life and 
 all its comforts, as loon as called to it ; and yet 
 then had as much comfort of life as almofl ever I 
 had. Life itfelf appeared but an emp^y bubble ; 
 the riches, honours, and enjoyments of it ex- 
 trtmely tafllefs, I longed to be entirely crucijicd 
 
 to 
 
C 67 ] 
 
 to all things here below. My foul was fvvcetl)'' 
 refjgnedto God's difpofal of mc ; and 1 law, there 
 had nothing happened to me but what was bed 
 for me. I confided in God, that he would '' ne- 
 ver leave me, though I (hould walk through the 
 valley of the fhadow of death. It was my meat 
 and drink to be holy, to live to tlie Lordj and 
 die to the Lord. And I then enjoyed fuch an hea- 
 ven, as far exceeded the moll fublimc conceptions 
 of an unrcgenerate foul ; and even unfpcikably 
 beyond what 1 myfelf could conceive at another 
 time. I did not wonder, that Peter faid, " Lord 
 it is good to be here, whenlh us refrclhed with 
 divine glories. My foul was full of love and 
 tendernefs in the duty of inteicelTion ; efpccially 
 of fweet affe61ion to fome godly mini Iters. I 
 prayed earnellly for thofe I have reafon to fear 
 arc my enemies; and could not have fpoken a 
 word of bitternels, or entertained a bitter thought 
 againft the vilell man living. I had a fenfe of my 
 own great unworthinefs. My foul feemed to 
 breathe forth love and prdife to God afrefh, when 
 I thought he would let his children love and re- 
 ceive me as one of their brethren and fellow citi- 
 zens ; and when I thought of their treating me in 
 that manner, I longed to lie at their feet ; and 
 could think of no way tocxprefsthe fincerity and 
 fimplicity of my love and efteem of tliem, as being 
 much better thanmylelf. — 1 longed to get on my 
 knees, and aik forgivencfs of eveiy b(jdy that ever 
 had fcen any thing amifb in my pait conduct, efpe- 
 cially in my religious zeal. 
 
 Lord's day, March 11. I preached from the 
 parable of theyo^t^^r, had fome frecd(;m. alfetlion, 
 and fervency in addreffing my poor people ; long- 
 ing that God (hould take hold of their hearts, and 
 make them fpiritually alive. And indeed 1 had 
 fo much to fay to them, that I knew not how to 
 leave off fpeaking.* 
 
 * This was the laji Sabbath that ever he performed 
 public fervice at Kaunaumeck^ andthcfe the laJl ferm:)ns 
 that ever he preached there, 12, My 
 
[ fcs ] 
 
 l«. My fpirit was full of quietnefs, and love ia 
 mankind; and I longed that peace fhould reigii 
 on the earth ; I was grieved at the very thoughtis 
 ofajiery, fznjry, and intemperate zesil in religion; 
 iT^ourned over my pafl follies; and confided in 
 God for ftrength and grace fufficient for my fu- 
 ture work and trials. Spent the day mainly in 
 hard labour^ making preparation for my intended 
 journey, 
 
 13. 1 enjoyed fome freedom and fervency, in- 
 treating that the divine prefence might attend me 
 in evtry place w'here my bufinefs might lead me ; 
 and had a particular reference to the trials that I 
 apprehended 1 might be more eminently expofed 
 to in particular places, 
 
 14. I enjoyed fo:ne intenfenefs of foul in prav- 
 er, repeating my petitions for God's prefence in 
 every place, and befoui^ht the liOrd that I might 
 not be too much pieafed with my dear friends 
 and acquaintance. Near ten I fet out on my jour- 
 ney, and before night came to Stockbridge. 
 
 15. 1 rode to Sheffield. Here I met a rneflenger 
 from Eafh Hampton on Long-Ifland ; who by the 
 unanimoias vote of that large town, wa^ fent to 
 invite me thither, in order to fetile with that 
 people ; I knew not what to do ; but endeavour- 
 ed to commit the cafe to God, 
 
 [The two next days, he went no further than 
 Saliihury, being much hindered by the rain. 
 When he came there, he was much indifpofed.— 
 He fpeaks of comfortable and profitable conver- 
 fation with Chriftian friends, on thefe days.] 
 
 18. [At SahTouryj I was exceeding weak and 
 fiiint, fo that 1 could fcarcc walk : but God was 
 pleafed to aiford me much freedom, clearnels, 
 and fervency in preach'ing. Here another mef- 
 fenger met me, and informed me of the vote of 
 another congregation, to give me an invitation 
 to come among them. J was fome:hing exeicifed 
 in m nd with a burden of care. O that God 
 would (end forth faithful labourers into his 
 ha;veitl 
 
 [After 
 
C 69 1 
 
 [Affer this, he went forward on his journey 
 towards New-York and New-Jsr(ey : in which 
 he proceeded flowly ; performing^ his journey 
 under great bodily indifpofuion. However, he 
 preached fcveral times by the way, in which he 
 had conhderable afiiflance: He (peaks of comfort 
 in converfation with Chriftjan friends ; but yet 
 complains of a decline of life, or vivacity ia 
 religion, by means of his conftant removal from 
 place to place, and want of retirement. He 
 came to Elifabeth-Town, where he waited till the 
 commiinoncis came together. J 
 
 April 5. I attended on the commifTioners in 
 tVieir meeting,* and refolved to go on dill with 
 the Indian aflair, if divine providence permitted; 
 although I had before felt fome inclination to go 
 to Eaft-Harnpton.f 
 
 * The Indians at Kaunaumcek being but few in number, 
 and Mr. Brainerd havirg now been labouring among thera 
 about a year, and having prevailed upon them to leave Kau- 
 naumeek, and remove to Stockbridge, to live under Mr. 
 Sergeant's miniflry; he thought he might now do more fer- 
 vice for Chrjft among the Indians elfewbere : and therefore 
 vent to Ncw-Jeifey, to lay the matter before the commif- 
 iioncis; who met at Elifabeth-Town on this occafion, and 
 detcTm'ned that he (houid forthwith go to the Delaware 
 Indians. 
 
 + By the invitations Mr. Brainerd had lately received, it 
 appears that it was not for want of opportunities to fettle in 
 the ininiflry among the Engliib, that he was detei mined to 
 forlake all outward comtorts, and fpend his life among the 
 brutifh Savages. He had, jufl; as he was leaving Kaunau- 
 meek, an earned invitation to a fettlement at Eail-Hampton 
 on Long-lfland, the pleafantell town on the whole ifland, and 
 one ot its mcfl wealthy pariflies. The people there were 
 unanimous to have him for their pallor, and ior a longtime 
 contiiiued in an earned purfuit of it. Bcfidcs he had an in- 
 vitation to Millington ; which Wc;s near his native town, and 
 in the micilt of his fiends. Nor did Mr. Brainerd chufe 
 the bufincfs of a niiffionary, rather than accept of thofe in- 
 vitations, becaufe he was unacquainted with the difficulties 
 and fufferings which attended fuch a fervice : for he had an 
 experience of thele difficulties in fummer and winter : hav- 
 ^ [After 
 
[ 7° ] 
 
 ["After this, he continued two or three day* in 
 the Jerfeys, -very ill ; and then returned to Ncvv- 
 Yo)k; and from thence into New-England ; and 
 went to his native town of liaddam. 
 
 April 17. I found more of God's prefence, 
 than I have done any time in my lare wcarifome 
 journey. Ett^rnity appeared very near ; my nature 
 was very weak, and feemed ready to be diifolved ; 
 the fun declining, and the (hadows of the evening, 
 drawing on apace. O I longed to fill up the re- 
 maining moments all for God ! Though my body 
 was fo feeble and wearied with preaching, and- 
 private converfation, yet 1 wanted to fit up all 
 tlie night to do fornething for God. To God, the 
 giver of thcfc relrcfhments, be glory ever and 
 ever. 
 
 [After this, he vifitcd feveral rainiflers in Con-- 
 nedlicut; and then came to Mr. be:geant*s al' 
 Stockbridge.J 
 
 April 28. I fpent fome time in difcourfing 
 with my people, (who were now moved down 
 from their own place to Mr. Sergeant's,) and 
 found them very glad to fee me returned. 
 
 30. I rode to Kaunautneek, but was extremely 
 ill ; and did not enjoy the comfort I hoped' for in 
 my oTvn houfe. 
 
 May 1. Having received new orders to go to 
 the Indians in Dela'ware river in Pennfylvania, 
 and my people here being moftly removed to Mr. 
 Sergeant's, I this day took all my clothes, books, 
 &c. and difpofed of them, and fet out for Dela- 
 ware river: but made it my way to return to Mr, 
 Sergeant's; Vvhich I did this day, jufl at night. 
 I rode feveral hours in the rain through the how- 
 ling wiltiernefs, although I was fo difordered in- 
 body, that-little or nothing but blood came from 
 mc. Tuelday, 
 
 ing fpent about a t\velvcmonth In a lonely defcrt among thefo 
 Savages, where he had gone through extreme haidiliij-s, and 
 a traiii of outward and inward forrows. Notwithfldnding all 
 thefe things, he chofe IHll to go on; and that although the 
 place he was now going to, was at a much greater diflanca 
 ftora mod of his friends, acquaintance, and nauve land. 
 
L 71 ] 
 
 Tuefday, May 3. I fpent mucli of my time, 
 while riding, in praver, that (iod would go with 
 me to Delaware. My heart fomctimes v/as ready 
 to fmk. with the thoughts of my work, and going 
 alone in the wildcrnefs, I knew not where : but 
 flill it was comfortable, to think, that others of 
 God's children hid *> wandered about in caves 
 and dens of the earth ;" and Abraham, when he 
 •was called to go forth, " went out, not knowing 
 whither he went." 
 
 [The next, day, he crofTed Hudfon's river, and 
 went to Gofhen in the Highlands ; and travelled 
 acrofs the woods, to Delaware, about an hundred 
 miles, through a defolate and hideous country, 
 above New Jerfey : where were very few fettle' 
 inents: in which journey he fuffered much fatigue 
 ^nd hardfhip.- He vifitcd fome Indians in the 
 way, and difcourfed with them concerning 
 Chriftianity, but was melancholy and difconfolate, 
 being alone in a ftrange wildernefs. Oh Satur- 
 day, he came to a fettlcment of Irifh and Dutch 
 people, about twelve miles above the Forks of 
 Delaware.] 
 
 On May 10th. I met with a number of Indians 
 in a place called Minniflinks, about an hundred 
 and forty miles from Kaunaumeek, and directly 
 in my way to Delaware river. With thefe In- 
 tlians I fpent fome time, fir/l addrelfing their Ain^ 
 , in a friendly manner ; and after fome difcourfe, I 
 told him 1 had a defire to inftruft them in Chrif- 
 tianity. At which he laughed, turned his back 
 upon me, and went away. I then addreffed 
 another principal man in the fame manner, who 
 laid he was willing to hear me. After fome time, 
 I followed the king into his houfe, and renewed 
 my difcourfe to'him ; but he declined talking, and 
 left the affair to another, who appeared to be a 
 rational man. He talked very warmly, and en- 
 quired why I defired the Indians to become Chrif- 
 tiansy feeing the Chriilians were fo much worlo 
 than the Indians. The Chriflians, he faid, would 
 lie, (leal, and drink, woife than the Indians. It 
 
 ^ was 
 
C 7» 3 
 
 vas they firfl taught the Indians to be drunk ; 
 and they ftole from one another, to that degree, 
 that their rulers where obliged to hang them for 
 it, and that was not fufEcient to deter other^from 
 the like pra6licc. But rhe Indians, he added, were 
 noTi':^ ort'nem ever hanged for Healing ; and he 
 fuppofedthat if the Indiansfhould become Chrif- 
 tians, they then would be as bad as thcfe. He ad- 
 ded, they would live as their fathers lived; BiV^d 
 go to \hc\r fathers when they died. , I then freely 
 cwned, lamented, and joined with him in condemn- 
 in g the ilt condu6l of fome who are called Chrif- 
 tiarts ; told him, thcle were not Chrijiians in heart; 
 that I hated fuch wicked praftices, and did not 
 defife the Indians to become fuch as thefe.— When 
 he appeared cajmer, I afked him if he was wil- 
 ling that I fhould come and fee them again: he re- 
 plied, he fl'ould be willing to fee me again, as a 
 friend, if I v.ould not defire them to become Chrif- 
 tians.'—'l then bid them farewell, and profecuted 
 irv journey towards Delavv*are. May 13th, I ar- 
 rived at a place called by the Indians, Sakhauwo- 
 tung, within the Forks of Delaware in Pcnfyl- 
 vania. 
 
 Here alfo, when I came to the Indians, I 
 falutcd their king, in a manner I thought mod 
 engaging : and foon after informed him of my 
 defire to inftruft them in the Chrijlian religion. 
 After he had confulted a few minutes with two 
 or three old m.en, he told me, he was willing to 
 hear. I ihen preached to thoiefew that were pre- 
 fent ; who appeared very attentive. And the 
 king in particular feemed both to wonder, and *t 
 the fame time to be well pleafed with what I 
 taught them, refpt6ting the divine being. And 
 fmce that time he has ever Ihcwn himfelf friendly 
 to me, giving me free liberty to preach in his 
 houfe, whenever I think h:.— Here iherefoie I 
 fpcnt the greater part of the fuitimer, preaching 
 ufually in the king's houfe, 
 
 'i he number of Inclans in this place is but fmall ; 
 
 moll of lliofe that lormcriy beiongcd here, are rc- 
 
 4 moved 
 
C 73 ] 
 
 moved far back into the country. There arc not 
 more than ten houfes hereabouts, that continue to 
 be habited; and fome of thefe are feveral miles dif- 
 tant from others, which makes it difficult for the 
 Indians to meet together fo frequently as could be 
 de fired. 
 
 When I fiirfl began to preach here, the number 
 of hearers was very fmall ; often not exceeding 
 twenty, or twenty five perfons : but towards the 
 latter part of the fummer, tJieir number increafed, 
 fo that 1 have frequently had forty perfons, or 
 more, at once : and often the molt of thole be- 
 longing to thofe parts. 
 
 Lord's-day, May 13. Irofeearly; felt very 
 poorly after my long journey, and after being wet 
 and fatigued. I have fcarce ever feen fuch a 
 gloomy morning in my life ; there appeared to be 
 no Sabhath \ the children were all at play; I a 
 llranger in the wilderncfs, and knew not vrhere 
 to go; and all circumftances feemed to confpire 
 to render my affairs dark and difcouraging, I 
 mourned after the prefence of God, and feemed 
 like a creature banilhed from his fight! Yet he 
 was pleafed to fupport my finking foul, amidft ail 
 my lorrows : fo that I never entertained any 
 thought of quitting mv bufinefs among the poor 
 Indians; but was comforted, to think, thai death 
 would ere long fct me free from (hefe diftreffcs, 
 I rode about three miles to the Irifli people, where 
 I found fome that appeared fober and concerned 
 about religion. My heart then began to be a little 
 encouraged: I preached firft to the Irifh, and 
 then to the Indians ; in the evening, was a little 
 comforted; my foul feemed to reft on God, and 
 take courage. O that the Lord would be my fup« 
 port and comforter in an evil world ! 
 
 May 14. 1 felt myfelf loofe from all the wqiM • 
 all appeared " vanity and vexation of i'piiit." 
 I feemed loncfome, as if 1 was banilhed froju Ai 
 mankind, and bereaved of all that is called plea- 
 fiirablc in the world; but appeared to mylelf i'o 
 vile and unworthy, it feemed fitter for me to be 
 here than any where. 
 
 G i7« i vvas 
 
!* 74 1 
 
 17' I was greatly diftrefled with a fenfe of my 
 vilenefs; appearing lo myfelf too bad to walk on 
 God's earth. God w^s pleafed to let me lee my 
 inward pollution to fuch a degree, that I almoft 
 defpaired of being made holy. In the afternoon 
 I met with the Indians, and preached to them. 
 My foul feemed to confide in God; and had fome 
 enlargement in prayer: vital piety and bolinefs 
 appeared fweet to me, and I longed for the per- 
 feftion of it. 
 
 2o. I preached twice to the poor Indians, and 
 enjoyed fome freedom in fpeaking. My foul long- 
 ed for a0iflance from above, all the while ; for I 
 faw I had no flrength for that work. Afterwards 
 I preached to the Irifh people; and feveral fecm* 
 ed much concerned, with whom I difcourfcd after- 
 wards with freedom and power. Blefied be Go.d 
 for ariy affiftance to an unworthy worm. 
 
 27. I vifit.ed my Indians in the morning, and 
 attending upon 2i funeral among them, was affetl- 
 ed to fee their Ucathtnifn. proMiccs. O that they 
 might be turned from darknefs to ii^ht ! After- 
 wards I got a confiderable number of them 
 togetlier, and preached to them : and gbferved 
 them very attentive. I then preached to the white 
 people, and feveral feemed much concerned, efpe- 
 cially one who had been educated a Roman 
 catholic. BlelTed be the Lord for any help. 
 
 June 11. This d^y the prefoytery met' at Ne- 
 wark, in order to my ordinetion. I was very weak, 
 and difordered in body ; yet endeavoured to repofe 
 mv conhdence in God. I preaclicd my probation 
 feimon, from Atls xxvi. 17, i8. being a text given 
 me for that end. Afterwards I palled an examina- 
 tion before the prjbytery. My mind was burdened 
 with the greatrels of that charge I was about to 
 take upon me; fo that I cor.ld not fleep this night, 
 though very weary and in grezit need, of reil. 
 
 12. I was this morning further examined, re'f- 
 peding my experimental acquaintance with Chrif- 
 tianityii At ten o'clock my ordination was 
 attendLd ; the fcrmon preached by Mr. Pemberton. 
 
 At 
 
r 7'5 ] 
 
 At this time I was aflVfted wirh a fcn.fc of the 
 important truft committed to me ; vet was com- 
 pofcd, and Tolemn, without diflraft'on : mid I 
 then (as many times before^ gave mylelf up to 
 God, to be for him, and not fof another, O that 
 1 might always be engaged in the fcrvice of God, 
 and duly remember the folcinn cliarge I have re- 
 vived, in the prefence of God, and men. 
 
 P A R T TI. 
 
 From his Ordir.ation, 'till lie began to preach to the 
 Indians at Crosvveeksukg, 
 
 THURSDAY, June 14. I wondered, th:it 
 God fhould open the hearts of any to treat 
 me with kindnefs: and faw himfelf to be unwor- 
 thy of a^^y favour, from God or men. I had 
 much pain in my head; however determined to 
 fet out on my journey towards Delaware; but in 
 the afternoon my pain inerealed, fothat I was 
 obliged to take to my bed ; and the night follow- 
 ing, was greatly diftreiled with pain acd (icknefs, 
 and almoil bereaved of the exercife of reafon. 
 On Saturday I was fomething relieved: but un- 
 able to walk 'till th€ iMonday following. I often 
 admired the goodnefs of God, that he did not 
 fuffer me to proceed on my journey from this 
 place where 1 was fo tenderly ufed, and to be 
 fick by the way among flrangers. — God is very 
 gracious to me, both in health and ficknefs, and 
 intermingles much mercy with all my affli6lions, 
 
 [On ^luefday. He fet out, and in three days 
 reached his place, near the forks of Delaware.] 
 
 Lord's-day, June 24. I was fcarce able la 
 walk: however, vifited my Indians and took 
 much pains to inftruft them. But my mind was 
 burdened with the weight of my woik. My 
 whole dependence was on God ; who alone could 
 make them willing to receive inftruftion. My 
 heart was much engaged in fending up filcnt re- 
 G 2 quells 
 
L -6 J 
 
 Cfuefls to God, even while I was fpeaking to them. 
 O that I could always go in the Ihength of the 
 Lord ! 
 
 25. To an eye of reafon every thing that ref- 
 peth the converlion of the Heathen is as dark as 
 midnight : and yet 1 cannot but hope in God, for 
 the accomplifhment of lomcthing glorious among 
 them. My foul longed much for the advancement 
 of tlie Redeemer's kingdom an earth, and was 
 very fearful, led J fhould admit fome vain thought, 
 and fo lofe the fenfe 1 had of divine things. O 
 for an abiding heavenly temper! 
 
 26. 1 was much difcouraged with "the extreme 
 tlifficulty of the work : yet God fupporied me ; 
 fend though the work of their converhon appear- 
 ed impoffibie with man, yet with God, 1 faw all 
 things were pollible. My faith was much (trength- 
 cned, by obierving the wonderful afTidance God 
 afforded Nehemiah and Ezra, in reforming his 
 
 feople, and re-ellablifhing his ancient churcli, 
 was much affifted in prayer, efpecially for the 
 poor Heathen, and thofe of my own charge ; and 
 hoped that God would bow the heavens and come 
 down for their falvation. It leemed to me, there 
 could be no impediment to obltruft that glorious 
 work, Seeing the living God, as I ftrongly hoped, 
 was engaged for it. 1 continued folemnly lifting 
 up my heart to God, that I might be more mor- 
 tified to this world, that my foul might be taken 
 up continually in the advancement of Chrifl's 
 kingdom ; and longed that God would purge me 
 more, that 1 might be as a-ehofen veffel to bear 
 liis name among the Heathens. 
 
 27. In the afternoon, I rode feveral miles to 
 fee if I could procure any lands for the poor In- 
 dians, that they might live together, and be under 
 better advantages for inllruftion. I had a deep 
 ienfe of the difficulty of my work ; and my foul 
 relied wholly upon God for fuccefs, in the dili- 
 gent and faithful ufe of means. I faw with the 
 ^reatefl certainty, that thi arm of the Lord mull be 
 
 rcveakdf 
 
r 77 J 
 
 revealed, for the help of thefe poor Heathens, if 
 ever they were delivered from the bondage of the 
 powers of darknefs. 
 
 28. Towards noon I rode to the Indians ; and 
 while going, my heart went up to God in prayer 
 for them ; I could freely tell God he knew the 
 caufe was not mine, but his own, and it would 
 be for his own glory to convert the poor In- 
 dians : and bleffed be God, I felt no defire 
 of honour from the world, i^s the inllrument 
 of it. 
 
 30. My foul was much folemnized in reading 
 God's word; efpccially the ninth chapter of Da- 
 niel. I faw how God had called out hisfervants 
 to prayer, and made them wreflle with him, when 
 he deligned to beftow any great mercy o^ji his 
 church. And I was-afliamed of myfeif, to think 
 of my dulnefs and in36livity, when there fccmed 
 lo be fo much to do for the upbuilding of Zion. 
 Gh, hnw does Zion lie walle I I longed, that the 
 church of God might be enlarged : and was ena- 
 bled to pray, in faith; my foul Icnfibly confided 
 in God, and was enabled to wreflle with him. 
 Afterwards^ I went to a place of retirement, and 
 enjoyed alhdance in prayer again ; had a f;nfe 
 of my great need of divine help, and felt my foul 
 fenfibly depend on God. 
 
 Lord's-day, July 1. After I came to the Indians,, 
 my mind was ccmfufed; and I felt nothing of 
 that Iweet. reliance on God, ihat my foul has 
 been comforted with in days pafl. In the after- 
 noon I felt flill barren, when 1 began to preach; 
 I. feemcd torn) (elf to know nothing, and to have 
 nothing to fay to the Indians ;.bui foon after,. 1 
 found a fpirit ol love, and warmth, and power, 
 to addre/s the poor Indians; and God helped me 
 to plead ,with them, to turn from all the vanities 
 of the heathen, to the living God. I am perlua- 
 ded, the Lord touched their confciences ; fori 
 never faw fuch attention in them before. When 
 I.camp away, I fpentthe whole lime 1 was riding 
 in pruyc; a;id praifs to God. After I had rode 
 G o uvo. 
 
[ 78 ] 
 
 two miles, it came into my mind to dedicate my* 
 felf to God again ; which I did with great iolem- 
 nity, and unlpeakable faiisfa6lion ; elpeciaUy 
 giving up myfelf to him anew in the work of 
 tlie miniilry. And this I did without any excep- 
 tion or referve; not in the leail fhrinkmg back 
 from any difficulties, that might attend this bleff- 
 ed work. I was molt free, chearful, and full in 
 this dedication of myfelf. My whole foul cried 
 *' Lord, to thee 1 dedicate myfelf : O accept of 
 me, and let me be thine for ever. Lord, 1 defire 
 nothing more. O come, come Lord, accept a 
 poor worm. Jf'hom have J in heaven but thee ? 
 and there is none upon earth that I defire befides thee.'* 
 1 was enabled to praife Ciod with my whole foul, 
 that he had enabled me to confecrate all my pow- 
 ers to him in this lolemn manner. I rejoiced in 
 my particular work as a mijjionary : rejoiced in 
 my neceflily of felf-denial ; and ftill continued 
 to give up myfelf to God ; praying inceffantly, 
 every moment, with fweet fervency. My nature 
 being very weak of late, was now confiderably 
 overcome : my fingers grew very feeble, fo that 
 I could fcarcely Itretch them out fbait ; and 
 when lighted from my horfe, I could hardly 
 walk ; my joints feem.ing all to be loofed. But I 
 felt abundant y?rdw^'.. in the inner man, I preach- 
 ed to the white people, and God helped me much. 
 Sundry of my poor Indians were fo moved as to 
 come to meeting alfo ; and one appeared much 
 concerned. 
 
 3. This morning, I was enabled to pray under 
 a feeling fenfe of my need of help, and to plead 
 with God a confiderable time. Truly God is good 
 to me. But my loul was grieved at my finfuinefs 
 and barrennefs, and longed to be more engaged 
 ior God. Oh it is fweet to be the Lord's, to be 
 fenfibly devoted to him ! What a blclTcd portion 
 is God ! How glorious, how lovely ! my foul 
 longed to employ my time wholly for'Gc.d ! — in 
 the evening, was enabled again to wrcftie with 
 God in prayer with fervency, to nir.inlain a ielf- 
 
 C:f£dent 
 
L 79 ] 
 
 diffident and watchful frame of fpirlt; jealous and 
 afraid left I fhould admit carcleilnefi orfelf con- 
 fidence. 
 
 6. I am, of late, moft of all concerned for mi- 
 niilerial qualifications, and the converfion of the 
 Heathen : laft year, I longed to be prepared for 
 the world of glory, and fpeedily to depart out of 
 this world ; but of late my chief concern is for 
 the converfion of the Heathen ; and for that end, 
 1 long to live. But bleffed be God, I have lefs 
 defire to live for any of the pleafures of the world, 
 than ever I had : I long and love to be a pilgrim ; 
 and want grace to imitate the life, labours, and 
 fufferings of St. Paul among the Heathen. And 
 when 1 long for holinefs now, it is chiefly, that 
 thereby I may become an " able miniller of the 
 New Teftament,*' efpecially to the Heathen. I 
 fpent two houjs this morning in reading and 
 prayer ; and was in a watchful tender frame, 
 afraidof every thing that*Trii^;ht cool my affedlions, 
 and draw away my heart from God. 
 
 Lord's-day, July 8. 1 was watchful, tender, 
 and jealous of my own heart, left 1 ihouid admit 
 carelclTnefs and vain thoughts, and grieve the 
 bleffed Spirit, fo that he ihould witndiaw his 
 Iwcet, kind, and tender influences. 1 longed to 
 "depart, and be with Chrift," more than at any 
 time of late. My foul was exceedingly united to 
 the faints of antient limes, as well as thofe now 
 living ; efpecially my loui melted for the fociety 
 of Elijah and Eliflia. 
 
 n. My foul was difHdent, watchful, and ten- 
 der, left I ftiould offend my bleff^^d Friend, in 
 thought or behaviour. I confided in, and leaned 
 upon the blelTcd Cod. " Oh, what need did I 
 fee myfelf to fland in of God at all limes, to aflift 
 me and lead me ! 
 
 2i. Towards nijiht my burden refpefting my 
 work among the Indians began to incieaie much; 
 and was aggravated by hearing lundry things thut 
 looked very diicouragmg, in particular, that 
 they intended to meet together the ne.^t day for 
 
[ S-6 J 
 
 an idolatrous feaft and dance. Then I beer an to 
 be in anguifl:i : I thought I mufi in confcience go 
 and endeavour to break them up ; and knew not 
 how to attempt Tuch a thing. However, I with- 
 drew to praver, hoping for ftrength from above, - 
 And in prayer 1 was exceedingly enlarged, and 
 my foul was much drawn out. I pleaded with 
 fo much earnellnefs and importunity, that when 
 I rofe from m)'^ knees, I could icarcely walk 
 flraight, my joints were loofed, the fweat ran 
 down my face and body, and nature feemed as if 
 it would diifolve. 1 knew they were met toge- 
 ther to worfhip devils, and not God, and this 
 made m.c cry earnefUy, that God would appear 
 and help me in my attempts to break up tjiis ido- 
 latrous meeting. My foul pleaded long ; and I 
 thought God would go with me to vindicate his 
 own caufe :,And thus I fpent the evening, pray- 
 ing incelfantly that I might not be felf-dependcnt,. 
 but have my whole dependence upon God. What 
 I paiTed through was inexpreffible. All the things 
 here below vanifhed ; and there appeared to be 
 nothing of any importance to me, but holinefs of 
 heart and life, and the converllon of the Heathen 
 to God. All my cares, fears, and defires,. whicl> 
 might be faid to be of a worldly nature, difap- 
 peared ; and wereof little more importance than 
 a puff of wind. I exceedingly longed, that God 
 ■would get to himfcll a name among the Heathen;, 
 and I appealed to him with the greatell freedom, 
 thathe knew I «• preferred him above my chief 
 joy." Indeed, I had no notion of joy from this 
 world ; I cared not where or how I lived, or 
 what hardihips I went through, fo that I could, 
 but gain fouls to Chrift. 
 
 Lord's-day, July 22. When I waked, my foul 
 was burdened with what feemed to be before me: 
 1. cried to God, before 1 could get out of my bed;, 
 as foon as 1 was dreffed, I withdrew into th© 
 woods, to pour out my foul to him for affi fiance ; 
 and did wiih uufpcakable freedom give up myfelf 
 aficin to God. for life or deatli, for all liardfliips 
 
 iie 
 
I 8. ] 
 
 he fhould call me to among tlie Heathen ] and 
 felt as if nothing could difcourage my hope, 
 
 from this blefi'ed work. I had a llrong hope, 
 
 that God would " bow the heavens and conae 
 down,'* and do fomc marvellous work amon? the 
 Heathen. And when I was riding to the Indians, 
 my heart was continually going up to God ; and 
 lioping, that God would make this the day of his 
 power and grace amongft the poor Indians. 
 When I came to them, I found them engaged in 
 their frolic ; but through divine goodnels I got 
 them to break up and attend to preaching : yet 
 flill there appeared nothing of the fpeci^I pcwer 
 of God among them. I preached again to them 
 in the afternoon ; and obferved they were more 
 fober than before; but Hill faw nothing fpccial 
 among them ; from whence Satan took occafion 
 to buffet me with thefe curfed fuggeftions, There 
 is lip God, or if there be, he is not able to con- 
 vert the Indians, before they have mote know- 
 ledge. I was very weak and weary, and my foul 
 borne down with perplexity ; but WdS determined 
 flill to wait upon God. 
 
 24. I rode over a hideous mountain, to a num- 
 ber of Indians, at a place called Kaukfefauchung,., 
 more than thirty miles weflward from the place 
 where I ufually preach. I found about thirty 
 perfons, and propofed my defire of preaching to 
 them ; they readily comjjlied, and I preached to 
 them only twice, they being jud then removing 
 from this place, to Sufquahannah-river, 
 
 While I was preaching, they appeared fober, 
 and attentive ; and were fomewhat furpiized, 
 having never before heard of thefe things. There 
 were two or three, who fufpctled that 1 had fome 
 ill defign upon them, and urged, that the white 
 people had abufed them, and taken their lands 
 from them, and therefore they had no reafon to 
 think that they were concerned for their happi- 
 nefs ; but, on the contrary, that they defigned to 
 make them flaves, or get them on board their vef- 
 fcls, and make them fight with the people over 
 
 the. 
 
[ g2 ] 
 
 the water, (as they expreffed it,) meaning the 
 French and Spaniards. Plovvever, the moil of 
 them appeared very friendly, and told me, they 
 were then gaing. home to Sufquahannah, and de- 
 fired I would make them a vilit there,^ and mani- 
 feiled- a eonfiderable defire of inflruilion. 
 
 This rnvkatior/g-ave m.e fome encouragement in 
 my great work-; and made me hope, that God de- 
 figned to " open an- eftedtual door to me" for 
 fpieading the gofpel among, the poor Hc^dthcn fa»-- 
 ther weflward. 
 
 [From thefe lodians he returned to the Irilli 
 feitlement, and there preached to a numerous con- 
 gregation : where was a conliderable appearance 
 of awakening. Thurfday, he returned home, ex^- 
 ceedingly fatigued and Ipent ; Hill in the fame 
 mortification to the world, and folicitous for the 
 advancement of Chrift's kingdom.; and on this 
 day he fays: " i have felt^ this week, more of 
 the fpirit of a pilgrim on earth, than ever before ; 
 and yet fo defirous to fee Z ion's profperity, that 
 I was not fo willing to leave this fcene of forrov/ 
 as I ufed to be." — On the Sabbath^ he was con- 
 fined by iilnefs, not able to go out to preach. He 
 continued very ill all the week; and fays, that 
 *' he thought hejnever before endured fuch a fcafon 
 of diflrelhng weaknefs ; and that his nature was 
 fo fpent, that he could neither (land, fit, nor lie 
 with any quiet; that he was exercifed with ex- 
 treme faintnefs and ficknefs at his flomach ; and 
 that his mind was as much difordered as his body, 
 feeming to be fluped, and without all kind of af- 
 feftions; and yet perplexed, to think, that he 
 lived for nothing, that precious time rolled away, 
 and he could do nothing but trifle." — ^Concerning 
 the next five days he writes thus,, " On Lord's 
 day, Auguft 5. was flill very poor. But though 
 very weak, 1 vifited and preached to the poor 
 Indians tv.ice, and was ftrengthened. vaftly be- 
 yond my expeftations. And indeed, the Lord 
 gave me freedom and fervency in addreffing them ;: 
 though I had. not ftiength enough to Hand, but 
 
 was 
 
r 83 J 
 
 v/as obliged to fit down the whole time. To- 
 wards night I was extremely weak, faint, fick, 
 and full of pain. And I have continued much 
 the fame lalt week, through the mod of this, (it 
 being now Friday,) unable t^ engage in any buli- 
 nefs ; frequently unable to pray in the family. I 
 have neither ftrength to read, meditate, or pray : 
 and this perplexes my mind. I feem like a man 
 that has all his eftate embarked in one fmall boat, 
 unhappily going a drift, down a fwift torrent. 
 The poor owner ftands on the fhore, and looks, 
 «»nd laments hislofs. But, alas ! though all feems 
 to be adrift, and I fland and fee it, I dare not la- 
 ment ; for this finks my fpirits more, and aggra- 
 vates my bodily diforders. O that God v/ould 
 pity my dillrelTed Itale 1"" 
 
 [The next three weeks, his illnefs was not fo ex- 
 treme ; he was in fome degree capable of bufmefs : 
 he alfo had, for the molt part, much inward alFi fi- 
 ance ; he often exprelTes great longings for the 
 enlargement of Chrid's kingdom : he fpeaks of 
 his hope of this as all his delight and joy. He 
 continues lliU to exprcfs his ufual longings after 
 holinefs, and living to God, and his fenfe of his 
 own unworthincfs : he i'cveral times fpeaks of his 
 appearing to himfelf the vilefl creature on earth ; 
 and once fays, that he verily thought there were 
 none of God's children who fell io far fhort of 
 that holinefs, and perfc6lion in their obedience, 
 which God requires. J 
 
 Sept. 1. I enjoyed Tome; comfort and fwectncfs : 
 and as my bodily ilrength was a little refloied, 
 fo my foul fcemed to be more engaged in the 
 /things of God. 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. 2. I was enabled to fpeak to 
 my poor Indians with much concern and ferven- 
 cy and God enabled me to exercife faith in him, 
 ■while 1 was fpeaking to them, I perceived that 
 fome of them were afraid to embrace Chyijiianityy 
 left they fnould be inchanted" and poifoned by the 
 Fozvows: but 1 bid a challenge to all theie pozvers 
 •of dark) efs^ to do their woril upon 7nc firil j 1 told 
 
 my 
 
[ 84 3 
 
 my people, I was a Chrijlian, and afked them 
 why the Potj'otvs did not bewitch and poilon me? 
 1 fcarcely ever felt more fenfible of my own un- 
 worthinefs, than in this : but I faw the honour 
 of God was concerned; and I truded to be pre- 
 fervcd, for a tcflimony of the divine power and 
 goodnefs, and of the truth of Chriflianity. 
 
 Sept. 25. After a journey to New-England, I 
 rode home to the Forks of Delaware, What rea- 
 fon have 1 to blcfs God, who has preferved me in 
 riding more than four hundred and twenty miles, 
 my health likewife is greatly recovered, O that I 
 could dedicate my all to God 1 
 
 06lobcr 1. I was engaged this day in making 
 preparation for my journey to Sufquahahnah r 
 and withdrew feveral times to plead for the di- 
 vine prefence to go with me to the poor Pagans. 
 Towards night 1 rode about four miles, and met 
 my brother Byram ; who was come, at my defire, 
 to be my companion to the Indians. I rejoiced 
 to iee him ; and God made his converfation pro- 
 fitable to me. I faw him, as 1 thought, more 
 dead to the world, its cares, and alluring objecls, 
 thiin I was : and this made me look within my- 
 feif, and gave me a greater fenfe of my ingratitude, 
 and mifery. 
 
 2. I let out on my journey, in company with 
 my dear brother Byram, and my interpreter, and 
 two chief Indians from the Forks of Delaware. 
 We travelled about 25 miles, and lodged in one 
 of the laft houfes on our road ; after which 
 there was nothmg but a hideous and howling 
 vjildernefs, 
 
 3. We went on our way into the wildernefs, 
 and found far the mofl difficult and dangerous tra- 
 velling, that ever any of us had feen ; we had 
 fcarce any tiling clfe but lofty mountains, deep 
 valleys, and hideous locks, to make our way 
 through. However, I ftit fweemcls in divine 
 things, and had my mind intenfely engaged in 
 meditation. Near night, my beali that I lode 
 upon, hung one of her legs in the rocks, and 
 
 fell 
 
C 85 1 
 
 fell down under mc ; but through divine good- 
 nels, I was not hurt. However ftie broke her 
 leg ; and being near thirty miles from any houfe, 
 1 faw nothing that could be done to preferve her 
 life, and fo was obliged to kill her, and to profe- 
 cute my journey on foot. Jull at dark, we kind- 
 led a fire, cut up a few bullies, and made a fhel- 
 ter over our heads, to fave us from the froft, 
 which was very hard ; and committing ourfelves 
 to God we lay down on the ground, and flept 
 quietly. 
 
 [The next day, they went forward on their 
 journey, and at night took up their lodging in 
 the woods in like manner.] 
 
 5. We arrived at Sufquahannah-river, at a place 
 called Opeholhaupung : found there twelve In- 
 dian houfes : after I had fainted the king in a 
 friendly manner, I told him my bufinefs, and that 
 my defire vvas to teach them Chridianily. After 
 fome confultation, the Indians gathered, and I 
 preached to them. And when 1 had done, I 
 afked, if they would hear me again. They re- 
 plied, they would confider of it ; and foon after 
 lent me word, that they would immediately at- 
 tend, if 1 would preach ; which 1 did with much 
 freedom. When I aJkcd them again, whether 
 they would hear me further, they replied, they 
 would the n-^xt day. I was exceeding fenfible of 
 the impoffibility of doing any thing for the poor 
 Heathen without fpecial aiTillance: and my loul 
 relied on God, and left it to him, to do a.s he 
 pleafcdin his own caufe. 
 
 6. I preached again to the Indians : and in the 
 afternoon, vifited them from houfe to houle, and 
 invited them to come and hear me ngain liie next 
 day, and put off their hunting delign, till Mon» 
 dc:y. This night, the Lord ftood by me, to en- 
 courage and ftrengthen my foul ; i Ipcnt more 
 than an hour in lecret letirement ; and wds eiia- 
 bled to pour out my heart befoie God, for the tn- 
 creale of grace in my ioul, for the minillerial en- 
 
 H dowmenis, 
 
. C 86 1 
 
 dowments, and for fuccefs among the poor In- 
 dians. 
 
 Oftober 8. I vifited the Indians with a defign 
 to take my leave, fuppofing they would go out a 
 hunting early ; but beyond my expeftation and 
 hope, they defired to hear nie preach again. I 
 gladly complied with their requed, and endea- 
 voured to anfwer their objecliuns againll Chriftian- 
 ity. Then they went away ; and we fpent the af- 
 ternoon in reading and prayer, intending to go 
 homeward early the next day. 
 
 g. We rofe about four, and commending our- 
 felves to God by prayer, we fet out homewards 
 about five, and travelled till pall fix at night. We 
 then made us a fire, and a llitlter of barks, and 
 fo relied. In the night the wolves howled round 
 LIS ; but God preferved us. 
 
 Friday 12. I came to my lodging ; where I 
 poured out my foul to God, and endeavoured to 
 blefs him for his abundant goodnefs to me in my 
 late journey. I fcarce ever enjoyed more health ; 
 and Gad marvelouHy, and almoft mtraculoufly, 
 fupported me under the fatigues of the way, and 
 travelling on foot, Blefled be the Lord, that pre- 
 ferves me in all my ways. 
 
 Lord's-day 14. I was much confufcd and per- 
 plexed in rav thoughts ; and almoft difcouraged, 
 thinking I fhould never be able to preach any 
 .more. However, I went to the place of public 
 ^orfhip, lifting up my heart, and God was gra- 
 cious to me, and helped me to plead with him 
 for holinefs, and to ufe ftrong arguments with 
 him, drawn from the fufFerings of Chrift for this 
 very end, that men might be made holy. After- 
 wards I was much afiifted in preaching. I know 
 not that God ever helped me to preach in a more . 
 Ciofc manner. Through the infinite goodnefs of 
 God, I felt what I fpake ; and God enabled me 
 to fpeak with uncommon clearnefs : and yet I 
 was deeply fenfible of rr^y defefts in preaching ; 
 bleffed be the Lord for his mercy. In the even- 
 ing 1 longed to be entirely alone, to blefs God for 
 
 help 
 
L 87 ] 
 
 help in extremity ; and longed for greater de- 
 grees of holinels, that I might fhew my gratitude 
 to God. 
 
 i6, I felt a fpirit of folemnlty and watchful- 
 nefs ; and was afraid 1 fhould not live to and 
 upon God : 1 longed for more intenl'enels and 
 fpirituality. In the evening I enjoyed fweet 
 alii fiance in prayer, and thirited and pleaded to 
 be as holy as the bleifed angels. 
 
 19. I had an abafing fenle of my own unholl- 
 nels ; and felt my foul melt and mourn, that I 
 had grieved a gracious God, who was ftill kind 
 to me, notwithflanding all my unworthinefs. My 
 loul enjoyed a fweet feafon of iorrow, that I had 
 wronged that bleffed Ggd, who was reconciled 
 to mc in his dear Son. My foul was now tender, 
 devout, and folemn : and I was afraid of nothing 
 but fin ; and afraid of that in every action and 
 thought, 
 
 0'c\. 24. Near noon I rode to my people j 
 fpent fome time, and prayed with them ; fch tht 
 frame of a pilgrim on earth ; longed much to 
 leave this gloomy manlion ; but yet found pa- 
 tience and relignation. As I returned home from 
 ihe Indians, I {pent the whole time in lifting up 
 nay heart to God. 
 
 In the evening I enjoyed a bleffed feafon in 
 prayer ; was enabled to cry to God with a child- 
 like Ipirit : enjoyed a fweet freedom in fupplica- 
 ting for myfelf, and for my dear friends, and 
 longed to be as lively in God's fcrvice as the' 
 angels. 
 
 26. In the morning my foul was melted witli a 
 fenfe of divine goodnefs to fuch a vile worm .• 
 1 delighted to lean upon God, and place my 
 whole trufl in him : my foul was exceedingly 
 grieved for fin, and prized and longed after holi- 
 nefs ; it wounded my heart deeply, yet fweetly, 
 to think how I had abufed a kind God. I longed 
 to be pel fedlly holy, that 1 might not grieve a gra- 
 cious God : 1 longed for holinefs more for this 
 end, than for my happinefs fake ; and yet 
 H 2. ihis 
 
[ 88 ] 
 
 this was my greatefl happineTs, never more 
 to diOionour, but always to glorify the blctrcd 
 God. 
 
 OO;. 31. I was fenfible of my barrcnnefs : my 
 foul failed when I remembered the fervency I 
 had enjoyed. Oh (I thought) if I could but be 
 fpiritual, warm, heavenly-minded, and affec- 
 tionately breathing after God, this would be 
 better than life. to me i My foul longed exceed- 
 ingly for death, to be loofed from this dulnefs, 
 and made ever a6live in the fervice of God. I 
 feemed to live for nothing, and to do no good : 
 and Oh, the burden of fu'ch a life ! Oh death, 
 death, my kind friend, haften and deliver me from 
 dull mortality, and make me fpiritual and vigo- 
 rous to eternity ! 
 
 Nov, 1. I felt life, and longings after God ; I 
 longed to be always folemn, devout, and heavenly 
 minded : and was afraid to leave of pi'^iying, leil 
 I fhould again lofe a fenfe of the fwcet things of 
 God. 
 
 2, I was exercifed forely with fome things that 
 I thought myfelf moll of all freed from. And 
 thus I have ever found it, when I have thought 
 ihe battle was over, and the conqueil was gained, 
 and fo let down my watch, the enemy has rifen 
 up and done me the greateft injury. 
 
 [The next day he fet out on a journey to New- 
 York, to meet the Prefbytery there ; and was 
 gone from home more than a fornight. He teem- 
 ed to enter on this journey with great reluctance; 
 fearing it would cool his religious affeftions. But 
 yet, in his journey he hadfpecial fealons of God's 
 gracious prelence. He was greatly fatigued 
 therein by cold and ftorms : and when he return- 
 ed from New-York to New-Jerfey, was very ill 
 for fome time. J 
 
 Nov. 21.1 rode from Newark to Rockciticous 
 in the cold, and was almod overcome with it. 
 But I enjoyed fwectnefs in converfation with 
 Mr, Jones ; my foul loves the people of God, 
 
 and 
 
[ 89 1 
 
 and ' efpecially the minifterSj who feci the fame 
 trials that I do. 
 
 22. I came on my way to Delaware river, tho* 
 much ■ difordcred with a cold and pain in my 
 head. About fix at night, I loft my way in the 
 wildernefs, and wandered over rocks and moun- 
 tains, down hideous fteeps, through (wamps, and 
 xiioft dreadful and dangerous places : and the 
 night being dark, 1 was greatly expofed : I was 
 much pinched with cold, and diflreffcd with an 
 extreme pain in my head, attended with ficknefs 
 at my (lomach ; lo that every Hep I took was 
 diilrefTing to me. I had little hope, but that I 
 jnud lie in the woods all night. But about nine 
 o'clock I found a houfe, and wa^ kindly enter- 
 tained. Thus I have frequently been expofed f 
 but God has hitherto preferved me ; bleiled be 
 his name. Such fatigues and hardfliips ferve to 
 wean me from the earth ; and, will make heaven 
 thefweete:. Formerly, when I was thus expofed, 
 1 was ready to plcaie myfelf with the thoughts of 
 a comfortable houfe, a warm fire, and other out- 
 ward comforts ; but now thefc have lefs place in 
 my heart, (through the grace of God,) and my 
 eye is more to God for comfort. In this world 
 1 expedt tribulation : and it does not now appear 
 ilraiige to me ; I do not in .Icafons of difHculty 
 flaltei myfelf that it will be better hereafter ; but 
 rather think, how much worfe it might be ; how 
 much greater trials others of God's children have 
 endured ; and how much greater are yet perhaps 
 refeived for me. Blefled be God, that he makes 
 the thoughts of my journey's-end a great comfort 
 to me, under my iharpeft trials ; and fcarce ever 
 )ets thele thoughts be attended with terror ; but 
 frequently with great joy. 
 
 [Within the next twelve days he fpent much 
 time in hard labour, w.th others, to make 
 for himfelf a little cottage, to live in by him- 
 felf-l 
 
 Dec. 6, Having now a happy opportunity of 
 H 3 ' being 
 
r 90 3 
 
 being retired In a houfe of my own : L fct apart 
 this day for fecret prayer and failing, to implore 
 the blelTing of God on myfelf, on my poor peo- 
 ple, on my friends, and on the church of God, 
 And now God was pleafedto give me a dil'covery 
 oi the plague of my own heart, more affc6Hng thaa 
 I have of late had. And efpecially I faw my fm- 
 fulnefs in this, that when God had wiihdrazvn 
 himfelf, inflead of living and dying in purfait of 
 him, 1 have been difpofed lo one of thefe two 
 things, either to yield an unbecoming refpedl to 
 fome earthly obje£ls, as if happinefs were to be 
 derived from them ; or to be fecretly /bra-ar^ and 
 impatient, and unfuitably defirous of death. That 
 which often drove me to this impatient defire of 
 death, was a defpair of doing any good in life. 
 But now God made me fenhble of my fin, and 
 enabled me to cry to him for forgivenefs. Yet 
 this was not all I wanted ; for my foul appeared 
 exceedingly polluted : and I wanted to be puri- 
 fied " by the blood of fprinkling that cleanfeth 
 from all fin.'* And this I was enabled to pray 
 for in faith. I enjoyed much more intenfenefs, 
 fervency, and fpirituality than I expefted ; God 
 was better to me than my fears, I was enabled to 
 perfevere in prayer till the evening : I faw fo 
 much need of divine help, in every refpeft, that 
 1 knew not how to leave off, and had forgot that 
 1 needed food. 
 
 Lord's-day, Dec, 9. I preached, both parts 
 of the day, at a place called Greenwich, about ten 
 miles from my own houfc. In the firft difcourfe 
 I had Icarce any warmth. In the intermiiTion fea- 
 fon I got alone among the bufhes, and cried to 
 God being in great anguifh, that 1 could not ad- 
 drefs fouls v/ith more companion and tender 
 affe£lion : which I faw I could not get of myfeJf, 
 any more than I could make a world. In the 
 latter exercife, bleffed be the Lord, I had fome 
 fervency, both in prayer and preaching ; and in. 
 the application I was enabled to addrefs precious 
 fouls with affedion, tendernefs, and importunity. 
 
 The 
 
[ 9« 1 
 
 The fpirit of God was there ; tlie cflFciEls v.-cre ap- 
 parent, tears running down many checks. 
 
 lo. 1 preached agahi : God enabled me to be 
 in fome degree faithful ; I rode home in the 
 evening, and bleiled God for his goodnefs; and 
 rejoiced, that fo much of my work was done, and 
 1 fo much nearer my reward. 
 
 12, I was very weak. ; but aflifled in fecrct 
 prayer, and enabled with fweetnefs to cry, 
 "Come, Loid Jefus ! come quickly." My foul 
 <« longed for God, for the living God,'* O how 
 delightful it is, to pray under fuch influences ? 
 How much better than one's necejj'ary food I I 
 had at this time no difpofition to eat, (though 
 late in the morning!) for earthly food appeared 
 
 wholly talllefs. 1 vifited and preached to the 
 
 Indians, in the afternoon ; but under much dc* 
 jeftion. I found my interpreter under fome con- 
 cern for his foul ; which was Ibme comfort to me, 
 I longed greatly for his convcrlion, poured out 
 my-foul to God for him ; and was enabled, lo 
 leave all with God. 
 
 13. I fpent the day in failing and prayer, to 
 implore the divine bleihng, more cfpecially on 
 my poor people; in particular for my intt'rprettr, 
 and three or four more under fome concern f<jr 
 their fouls : but, in the evening it feemed as if I 
 had need to pray for nothing fo much as for the 
 pardon of fms committed in the day palh The 
 fins I had mod ienfc of, were pride, and wand- 
 ring thoughts. Yet after ail my furrows, I trud, 
 this day and the exeicifes of it have been for my 
 good and taught me more of my weakncfs with- 
 out Chrill. than I knew before. 
 
 Lord's-day, Dec. 16, 1 was fo overwhelmed 
 with dejeftion, that I knew not how to live : I 
 longed for death exceedingly : my foul w^s funk 
 into deeper zi-aters, and the Jlaods were ready to 
 drown vie'. 1 was fo much opprefled, that rny-foui 
 was in a kind of horror; I had no diflielTing 
 doubt about my own itate ; but would have chcar- 
 fully ventured (^as far as I could know) into eter- 
 nity. 
 
Z 9» 1 
 
 Ti\iy\ W'hile I was going to preach to the In- 
 dians, my foul was in anguifli; I defpaired of do- 
 ing any good. But at lafl I infilled on the 
 evidences of Chriftianity from the miracles of 
 Chriil : and God helped me to make a clofe aopli- 
 cation to thofc th.'-t refufed to believe. I was 
 encouragedj to find, that God enabled me to be 
 faithful once more. Then 1 went and preached 
 lo another company of them ; but was very wea- 
 ry and faint. In the evening, I was fomething 
 refrefhed, and enabled to pray and praife God 
 with compofure andaffeftion: I was now willing 
 to live, and longed to do more for God, than my 
 weak ftale of body would admit of. «.' 1 can do 
 all things through Chriil that flrengthens me ;'* 
 and I am willing to fpend and be f pent in his 
 fervice, 
 
 i8. I went to the Indians, and difcourfed to 
 them near an hour, and at lall God helped me to 
 fpeak with warmth. My interpreter alfo w^s 
 amazingly alTifted ; and I doubt not but the Spirit 
 of God was upon him. And prefently mod of 
 the grown perfons were much affeftcd, and the 
 tears ran down their checks ; and one old man (I 
 luppofe, an hundred years old) was fo affcded, 
 thdt he wept, and feemed convinced of the im- 
 portance of what 1 taught them. I ftaid with 
 ihem a confiderable time, exhorting them ; and 
 came away, lifting up my heart to God, and en- 
 couraged my interpreter to Ilrive to enter in at the 
 flrait gate. 
 
 January 3, 1744-5. Being fenfible of the great 
 want of the out-pouring of God's Spirit, 1 Ipent 
 this day in falling and prayer, to feek fo great a 
 mercy for myfelf and my poor people in particu- 
 lar, and for the church of God in general, 
 
 4. 1 rode up to the Indians, near noon ; fpent 
 fome time there under great diforder ; my foul 
 wasykwA dowyi into deep waters, and I was almoft 
 overwhelmed with melancholy. 
 
 5. 1 was much difordered with pain in my 
 head. 1 was diftreired with a lenf^ of my fpiri»- 
 
 lU:ll 
 
r 93 ] 
 
 tual pollution, and ten thoufand youthful,- yea, 
 and childifh follies : all which appeared now 
 
 frefli, and in a lively view, as if committed yefter- 
 day, and made my foul afliamed before God. 
 
 Jan. 9. In the morning, God was pleafed to 
 remove that gloom which has of late oppreded 
 my mind, and gave me freedom and fvveetnefs in 
 prayer. I was encouraged to plead for grace for 
 myfelf, and mercy for my poor Indians ; and was 
 fweetly afriftcd in my interceffions with God for 
 (•thers. Thofe things that of late feemed almofl 
 impoilible, now appear not only poffible, but ea- 
 fy. My foul fo much delighted to continue in- 
 flant in prayer, at this blefi'ed feafon; that 1 had 
 no defirc for my necejfary jcocl : I even dreatied 
 leaving off praying at all, left I fhould lofe this 
 fpirituality, and this blelTed thankfulnefs. 1 felt 
 now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials 
 that might remain for m^e in a world of lorrow ; 
 but ftill longed for heaven, that I might glorify 
 God in, a perfect manner. 
 
 Jan. 14. I fpent ihis day under a great degree 
 of bodily weaknefs and diforder. It pains me, 
 that I live fo much of my time for nothing. I 
 long to do much in a little time, and if it might 
 be the Lord's will, io Jinijh my zoork fpeedily in 
 this tirefome world. I am fuie, I do not defire 
 talive for any thing in this world; and through 
 grace I am not afraid to l^ook the kivg of terrors in 
 the face : I know, 1 fhall be afraid, if God leaves 
 me ; and therefore I think it always my duty to 
 lay in for that folemn hour. But for a confidera- 
 ble time, my foul has rejoiced to think of death 
 in its neareft approaches ; and even when I have 
 been very weak, and feemed neareft eternity. 
 <• Not uniome, notuntome, but to God be tlie 
 
 , gloiy." I feel that which convinces me, that if 
 God do not enable me to maintain a holy depen- 
 dence upon him, death will be a terror, but at 
 prefent 1 muft fay, " 1 long to depart, and to be 
 with Chrift." When I am in a fwect religne.d 
 frame of foul, I am willing to tarry in a world of 
 
 foirow, 
 
[ 94 ] 
 
 lorrow, I am willing to be from home as long af 
 God fees fit : but when 1 want the influence of 
 this temper, I am then apt to be impatient to be 
 gone. — Oh when will the day appear, that 1 
 Ihall be perfeft in holinefs. 
 
 January i6, 1-7. I fpent moft of the time in 
 writing on a divine fubjedl, and enjoyed freedom 
 and afiiflance. O what reafon have 1 to be thank- 
 ful that God ever helps me to labour and ftudy 
 for him ! He does but receive his own, when 1 am 
 enabled in any meafure to praUe him, labour for 
 -him and live to him. 
 
 Lord's-day, January 27. I had the greateft de- 
 gree of inwird anguifh, liiat almofl ever I endu- 
 red : I was perfedly ovcfwhclmed, ajid fo con- 
 fuled, that after I began to difcoaife to the- Indi- 
 ans, before I could finifh a fentence, fomeiunes 
 1 forgot entirely what I was aiming at. This 
 diftrefling gloom never went off the whole day ; 
 but was fo far removed, that I was enabled 10 
 fpeak with fome freedom to the Indians, at two 
 of their fettlements ; and there was fome appear- 
 ance, of the prefence of God with us. In the 
 evening the gloom continued flill, till at family- 
 prayer,* when I was praying for the converfion 
 of my poor people, the cloud was fcattered, fo that 
 1 enjoyed -fweetnefs and freedom, and con- 
 ceived hopes that God defigned mercy for 
 them. 
 
 Lord's-day. Feb, 3. In the morning, I was 
 fomewhat relieved of that gloom, that my mind 
 has of late been exercifed with : and was enabled 
 to pray with compofure and comfort. But, how- 
 ever, I went to my Indians trem.bling ; for my 
 foul " remembered the wormwood and the gall" 
 of Friday lad j and 1 was greatly afraid I fhould . 
 
 * Though Mr, Brainerd now dwelt by himfelf in 
 the little cottage, which he had built for his oton uje ; 
 yet that was near a family of white people with whom 
 he had lived before^ and with whom he Jtill attended 
 family prayer^ 
 
 be 
 
L 95 I 
 
 be obliged again to drink of that cup of trembling, 
 which was inconceivably more bitter tlia'n death. 
 But God was pleaf'ed to hear my cries, and to 
 afFord me great afli fiance ; fo that I felt peace in 
 my loul ; and was fatisficd, that if not one of 
 the Indians fliould be profited, yet I Ihould be 
 accepted and rewarded as faithful ; for 1 am 
 perfuaded, God enabled me to be fo, 
 
 Feb. II, In the evening I was in the moft fo- 
 lemn frame that I remember to have experienced: 
 I know not that ever death appeared more real 
 to me, or that ever I faw myfelf in the condition 
 of a dead corpfe, laid out, and dreffed for a lodg- 
 ing in the filent grave, fo evidently as at this 
 time. And yet I felt exceedingly comfortable ; 
 my mind was compofcd and calm, and death ap- 
 peared zoithout a jiing, 1 never felt fucli a uni- 
 verfal mortification to all created obj^^fts. Oh, 
 how great and folemn a thing it appeared to die ! 
 How it lays ihe greatefb honour in the duft ! And 
 how vain and trifling did the riches, honours, 
 and pleafures of the world appear ! I could not, 
 I dare not, fo much as think of any of them ; 
 for death, death, folemn (though not frightful) 
 death, appeared at the door. I could fee myfelf 
 laid out, and inclofed in my coffin, and put 
 down into the cold grave, without terror ! I fpcnt 
 the evening in converfing with aChrillian friend^ 
 and it was a comfortable evening to us both— 
 What are friends ? What are comforts ? \Vhat 
 are forrows ? What are diflrefifes ? — " Tlie time 
 is (hort : it remains, that they that weep, be as 
 though they wept not ; and they which rejoice, 
 as though they rejoiced not : for the fafhion of 
 this world pajfeth away." O come, Lord Jcfus^ 
 come quickly. 
 
 14. I fpent the day in writing on a divine fub- 
 je6l: enjoyed health, and freedom in my work : 
 had a folemn lenfe of death : as I have indeed 
 every day this week : what 1 felt on Monday lalt 
 has been abiding ever fince. 
 
 15. I had 
 
C 96 ] 
 
 15. I had a fweet fenfe of the free grace of the 
 gofpel : my foul was encouraged, uarmed, and 
 quickened, and my defires drawn out after God 
 in prayer : being afraid of lofmg fo fweet a gueft 
 asl then entertained. I longed to proclaim the 
 grace I then meditated upon, to the world of 
 linners. — O how quick and powerful is the word of 
 the blcifed God ! 
 
 I.ord's-day, Feb. 17, I preached to the ti^kite 
 people 'my interpreter being abfent) in the wil- 
 dernefs, upon the funny fide of a hill : I had a 
 confiderable affembly, confiding of people that 
 lived (at lead many of them) not lefs than thirty 
 miles afunder. I difcourfed to them, from John 
 vii. 37. " Jefus Rood and cried, faying, if any 
 man third," &c. In the afternoon it pleafcd God 
 to grant me great freedom and fervency in my 
 difcourfe ; and I was enabled to imitate the ex- 
 ample of Chrid, who Jiood and cried.-^l think I 
 was fcarce ever enabled to offer the free grace of 
 God to peridiing linners with more freedom and 
 plainnels. Oh that 1 could for ever olefs God 
 for the mercy of this day, who, " anfwered me 
 in the joy of my heart." 
 
 Lord's day, Feb. 24. My interpreter heln^ ab« 
 fent, I knew not how to perform my woik among 
 the Indians, However, I rode to the Indians, 
 and got a Dutchman to interpret, though he was 
 but poorly qualified. Afterw'ards I came and 
 preached to a few white people from John vi. 
 67. O the free grace of Chr.d, thai he feai'orabiy 
 minds his people of their danger of bachJUdin^, 
 and invites them to perlevere in their adhe- 
 rence to himfelf ! 1 faw that backjliding foals 
 might return, and welcome, to him ininttdiately ; 
 wifhout any thing to recommend them ; not- 
 withdanding all their former backfiidings. And 
 I felt lolenm and devour, reftihg on fiec grace 
 for allidance, acccpitincc, and pcjce of con- 
 ic ie nee. 
 
 March 6. I fpcnt moll: of Lhc Jay in prepaiing 
 
 fur 
 
C 97 ] 
 
 for a journey to New-England, and feme time in 
 prayer, with a reference to my journey. 1 was 
 afraid I (hould forfake the fountain of living waters^ 
 and attempt to derive fatisfa6lion from broken cif- 
 ternSf my dear friends and acquaintance, with 
 whom I may meet in my Journey, I looked to 
 God to keep me from this vanity, as well as 
 others. Towards night, I was vifited by fomar 
 friends^ who diTcovered an affeftionate regard to 
 me, and feemed grieved that I was about to leavt 
 them ; efpecially feeing 1 did not expe6l to make 
 any confiderable flay atriong them, if I fhould 
 live to return from New-England. [He had a 
 defign to remove and live among the Indians at 
 Sufquahannah river.] 
 
 O how kind has God been to me ! how has ho 
 raifed up friends in every place, where his provi- 
 dence has called me ! 
 
 LThe next day, he fct out on his journey ; and 
 it was above five weeks before he returned.— -The 
 fpecial defign of this journey was, *' To raife 
 fome money among Chriilian friends, in order to 
 fupport a colleague with me in the wildernefs, (I 
 having now fpcnt two years in a very folitary 
 manner;] that we might be together; as Chrifl 
 lent out his difciples two and two,'* He fird 
 went into various parts of New- Jcrfcy, then to 
 New-York; and from thence into New-England, 
 lie then returned into New-Jeifcy. He feems, 
 for the mod p^^<rt, to have been free from melan- 
 choly in this journey ; and many times to have 
 had extraordinary alhflance in public miniflra- 
 tions.J 
 
 April 13. I rode home to my own houfe. 
 Bleftcd be the Lord, who has preferved me in 
 this tedious journey. Verily it is God that has 
 upheld me, and guarded my goings. 
 
 |_This week, he went a journey to Philadelphia, 
 in order to ejigagc the Governor there to u{<i h;s 
 intcreft with the chief man of the Six Adtioni^ 
 (with whom he maintained a {il^tl fnendilii}),j 
 that he would give him kave to live at Sufq-a- 
 ^ haiiuah. 
 
[ 98 J 
 
 hannah, and inftiud the Inciiiins that are within 
 their territorici..* 
 
 Lord's-day, April 21. In the feafon of the 
 communion, I had comfortable apprehenfions 
 of the blifsful communion of Clod's people, when 
 they fliall meet at ihcir Father's table in his king- 
 dom.— In the afternoon I preached abroad, fro. a 
 Rev. xiv. 4. <' Tlcfe are they that follow the 
 Lamb," &c. God was plcafcd to give me greac free- 
 dom and clcarnefs, but not fo much warmth as 
 before. However, there was a inofl amazing at- 
 tention in the whole affembly ; and, as 1 was 
 informed afterwards, this was a fwcct feafon to 
 inaiiy. 
 
 23. I returned home to the Forks of Delaware ; 
 enjoyed fome fwcet meditations on the road, and 
 was enabled to lift up my heart to God in prayer 
 and praife. 
 
 26. I felt a fpirit of mortification to the world, 
 in a very great degree. Afterwards 1 was en- 
 abled to rely on Ciod fweeily, for "all things 
 pertaining to life and godlincfs.*' In the even- 
 ing, I was vifited by a dear Chriftian friend, 
 with whom 1 fpent an hour or two in conver- 
 fajion, on the very foul of religion. There are 
 many with whom I can talk about icligion ; but, 
 alasl 1 find few with, whom I can talk religion 
 iifelf : but, bleffcd be the Lord, there are fome tliat 
 love to feed on the kernel, rather than the fhell, 
 
 [The next day, he went to the Irifti fetilement 
 about fifteen miles diftant : where he fpent the 
 Sabbath, and preached with fome conliderable 
 affiftance. On Monday, he returned very weak, 
 10 his own lodgings.] 
 
 April 30* 
 
 * The Indians at Sufquahannah are a mixed 
 company of many nations, fpeaking various lan- 
 guages, and few of them properly of the Six Na- 
 tions. But yet the country having formerly been 
 conquered by the Six Nations, they claim the 
 land; and the Sufquahannah-Indians arc a kind 
 o^ valTuls to them. 
 
C 99 3 
 
 April 30. I was fcarce able to walk about 
 and was obliged'to betake mvfclf to tbc beri, much 
 of ihc day ; being neither able to read, meditate, 
 nor praV) and having none to converfe with in 
 this wilderneTs. Oh, how heavily does time pciTs 
 away when I can do nothing to any good pUr- 
 pofe ? ^ .. 
 
 May 2. In the evcninrr. being a little better 
 in health, I walked into the woods, and enjoyed 
 a fweet fcafon of meditation and praver. iMy 
 thoughts r»m upon Pfal, xvii. 15. " I 0)11' be 
 Tcitisfied, when I awake with thy likcnefs," And 
 it was indeed a precious text to me, I lorvged to 
 preach to the whole world ; and it Teemed to me, 
 they muft needs all be melted in hearing fuch pre- 
 cious truths, as I had then a view and relifh of. 
 
 .. BlcfTc'd be the Lord, that in my late and pre- 
 
 fent wcLiknefs, my mind is not gloomy, as at 
 feme other times. 
 
 May 7. I fpent the day ch.iefls' in miikinj pr-. 
 paration for a journey into the wildernefs. i was 
 ftill weak, and concerned how I Ihould perform 
 fo difficult a journey. I fpent Come time in pray- 
 er for the divine blefTing; but wanted bodily 
 flrength to fpend the day in fading and prayer. 
 
 [The next day, he fet out on his journey to 
 Sufquahannah, with his interpreter. He endnred 
 great hardfhips in his way thither through a 
 hideous wildernefs; where, after having lodged 
 one night in the open woods, he was overtaken 
 with a north eafterly ftorm, in which he was 
 ready to perilh, having no flielter, and not being 
 able to make a fire in fo great a rain, he could 
 have no comfort if he flopt ; therefore determin- 
 ed to go forward in hopes of meeting with fome 
 fhelter, without which he thought it iinpoffiblc 
 he fhould live the night through : but their borfcs 
 having eat fome poifonous plants, at a place 
 where they lodged the night before, were fo fick 
 that they could neither ride nor lead them, but 
 I 2 were 
 
I Ipo ] 
 
 were obliged to drive them before them, and tra- 
 vel or foot ; until through the mercy of God (jufl 
 at dufk) they came to a bark-hut, where they 
 lodged that night. After he came to Sufquahan- 
 nah, he travelled about an hundred miles on the 
 river, vifited many towns and fettlements of the 
 Indians ; and preached to different nations, by 
 different intei-preters. He was fometimes much 
 difcouraged, through the oppofition that appear- 
 ed in the Indians to Chriftianity. At other times, 
 he was encouraged by the difpofition, that fome 
 of them manifeffed to hear, and willingnefs to be 
 inftrufted. He here met with fame that had for- 
 merly been his hearers at Kaunaumeek, v;ho faw 
 and heard him again with great joy. He fpent a 
 fortnight among the Indians ; paffed through 
 confiderable hardfhips, frequently lodging on the 
 ground, and fometimes in the open air; and at 
 length fell extremely ill, as he was riding in the 
 wil-dernefs, being feized with an ague, followed 
 Avith extreme pains in his head and bowels, and a 
 great evacuation of blood ; fo that he thought he 
 Tnuft have perifhed. But at lafl coming to an In- 
 dian trader's hut, he got leave to flay there : and 
 though without phyfic or proper food, it pleul'cd 
 God, after about a week, to relieve him fo far 
 that he was able to ride. He returned home* 
 wards from Juncauta, an iHand far down tho 
 river; where was a confiderable number of 
 Indians, who appeared more free from prejudices 
 againft Chriftianity, than mod of the other In- 
 dians. He arrived at the Forks of Delaware on 
 May go, after having rode in this journey about 
 340 miles. He came home in a very weak ftate. 
 However, on the Sabbath, after having preached 
 to the Indians, he preached to the zvhite people, 
 with fuccefs, from Ifa. liii. 10. '< Yet it pleafed 
 the Lord to bruife him," iSc. fome being awaken- 
 ed by his preaching.] 
 
 June 5. I felt thirfting defires after God, and 
 enjoyed a precious feafon of retirement: divine 
 things opened with clearnef$ and certainty, and 
 
 had 
 
[ '0. ) 
 
 liar! a divine (lamp upon them : my foul was alfo 
 enlarged and refrcClied in prayer; I delighted to 
 continue in the duty; and was Iweetly aflirted 
 in pvaylng for my fcrtow-Chriflians, and my 
 dear brethren in the miniflry. O what a blelTcd- 
 nefi it is, to be as much like God, as it is podible 
 for a creature to be like his Creator! Lord, give 
 me more of thy likenefs ! 
 
 [7. He went a journey .of near fifty miles to 
 Nefhaminy, to afTift at a facramental occafion.j 
 
 , 8. I was exceeding weak and fatigued with ri- 
 ding in the heat yeflerday ; but being defired, I 
 preaclied in the afternoon, to a crouded audience, 
 from Ifa. xl. 1. '* Comfort yc, comfort ye my 
 people, faith your God." God was pleafed to 
 give me great freedom, in opening the forrows of 
 his people, and in f.:tting before them comforting 
 confiderations. And, blenfed be the Lord, it was 
 a fweet melting feafon in the afif^imbly, 
 
 Lord's-day, June 9. I difcourfed to the multi* 
 tude exWnipore, with fome reference to that facred 
 paffage, l!a. liii. \cr. " Yet it pleafed thel.oid 
 to bruile him." God gave me great affidance in 
 addredlng finners: and the word, was attended 
 with amazing power ; many fcores, if not hun- 
 dreds, tn that great affcmbly, confiding of three 
 or four thoufand, were much affe6.led ; fo that 
 there was a "vcr) great mourning, like the mourn- 
 ing of Hadadrimmon." In the evening, I 
 
 could hardly look any body in the face, becaufe 
 of the imperfedlions I faw in my performances in 
 the day pafl. 
 
 11. 1 fpent mofl of the day in converfation 
 with Chriitian friends; and enjoyed a fweet fenfa 
 of divine things. O how dehrable it is, to keen 
 company with God's children ! Thcfe are the 
 *' excellent ones of the earth, in whom" I can 
 truly fay, '* is all my delight." O what delight 
 will it afford, to meet them all in a {late of per- 
 fcftion ! Lord, prepare me for that (late. 
 
 June 18. 1 fet out from Ncw-Brunfwick with 
 ^ 3 a 
 
C 102 ] 
 
 a dcfign to vifit fomc Indians at Crofzoeekfun§ in 
 N cw' Jerfey, towards the fea.* 
 
 In the afternoon I came toCranberry, and meet- 
 ing with a ferious minifter, lodged thcie with 
 him. 
 
 * Mr. Brainerd having, when at Boflon, wrote 
 and left with a friend a brief relation of his la- 
 bours with the Indians, during the fpace of time 
 between November 5, 1744, and June 19, 1745. 
 concludes with this paflage : " As my body was 
 very feeble, fo my mind was fcarce ever fo much 
 difcouraged about the converfion of the Indians, 
 as at this time. And in this flate of body and 
 mind I made my firll vifit to the Indians in New- 
 Jerfey." 
 
 PART vir. 
 
 « 
 
 from his firfl beginning to preach to the Indians 
 at Crofvveekfung, till he returned from his laft 
 journey to Sufquahannah, 
 
 WE are now come to that part of Mr. Brai- 
 nerd's Life, wherein he had his greateft 
 Succefs. After all his agonizing in prayer, and 
 travelling in birth, for the converfion of Indians; 
 and after waiting in pcrfevering prayer, labour, 
 and fuftering, through a long night, at length the 
 day dawns : *' Weeping continues for a night, 
 but joy icomes in the morning. He went forth 
 weepixjg, bearing precious feed, and now he 
 comes with rejoicing, bringing his fheaves with 
 him." The defired event is brought to pafs at 
 laft ; but at a time, and in a place, that fcarce 
 ever ^ntered into his heart. An account of this 
 is here inferted, as it was drawn up by himlelf, 
 purfuant to the order of the fociety in Scotland, 
 June 19. Having fpent mod of my time for 
 more than a year pail among the Indians in the 
 Forks of Delav.'are in Penfylvania ; and having 
 
 in 
 
t i03 ] 
 
 in that time made two journeys to Sufqualiannah 
 river, far back in that province, in order lo trciit 
 with the Indiansthere, rcfpecling Chiiflianity; and 
 not having had any confiderable fucccfs in cither 
 of thofe places ; upon hearing that there was a 
 number of Indians in a place called Crofvveck- 
 fung in NeW'Jerfey, near 80 miles fouth-caft- 
 vvard from the Forks of Delaware, I determined 
 to make them a vifit, and fee what might be done 
 towards the Chrillianizing of them; and accord- 
 ingly arrived among thcrn this day. 
 
 I found very few perfons at the place I vifiicd, 
 and perceived the Indians in thefe parts were 
 riiuch fcattered, there being not more than two 
 or three families in a place, and tjiefe fmall feitle- 
 ments, fix, ten, fifteen, twenty, and thirty miles, 
 and fome more, from the place I was then at. 
 However, I preached to thofe few who appeared 
 well dilpofed, and, not inclined to cavil, as the 
 Indians had frequently done elfewhere. 
 
 When I had concluded niy difcourfe, I inform- 
 ed them (there being none but a few women and 
 children) that I would willingly vifil them again 
 the next day. Whereupon they readily let out, 
 and travelled ten or fifteen miles, in order to give 
 notice to fome of their friends at that di(tance. 
 Thele women, like the woman of Samaria, feem- 
 ed defirous that others might «« fee the man that 
 told them, what they Iiad done" in their lives 
 pall, and the mifery that attended their idolatrous 
 ways. 
 
 20. Towards night, I preached to the Indians 
 again; and had more hearers than before. In 
 the evening, I enjoyed peace and ferenity of 
 mind, compofure and comfort in prayer; and 
 was enabled to lift up my head with joy, under 
 "an apprehenlion that my redemption draws nigh. 
 Oh, blcffed be God, that there remains a reft to 
 his poor we^ry people ! 
 
 2.x. I was lefreflied in fecret prayer; but faw 
 myi'elf a poor worthlefs creature, without wifdoni 
 to dire^l, or flrength to help myfelf, BiefTed be 
 
 God, 
 
C 104 ] 
 
 Goclj lliat lays me under a happy necefTity of liv- 
 ing upon hlmfclf ! 
 
 22. About noon, I rode to the Indians again ; 
 and near night preached to about 30 of them. I 
 found my body much flrengthcned, and was 
 enabled to fpeak with abundant plainncfs and 
 warmth. And the power of (iod evidently at- 
 tended the word; fo that fundry perfons were 
 brought under great concern for their fouls, and 
 made to (hed many tears, and to wifh for Chrift 
 to fave them. My foul was much refrefhcd, and 
 quickened in my work; and I could not but fpend 
 much time with them, in order to open both 
 their mifery and remedy. While riding, before 
 I came to the Indians, I was enabled to cry to 
 God almoft inceirantiy. In the evening alio I 
 found the confolations of God were not imall : I 
 was then willing to live, and in fomc refpc6ls de- 
 firous of ir, that I might do fomething for the 
 kingdom of Chrill; and yet death appeared plea- 
 fant : fo that, I was in a itrait between two. I 
 am often weary of this world, but it is defirablc 
 10 be drav/n, rather than driven out of it. 
 
 Lord's-day, June 23. I preached to the In- 
 dians and fpent the day with them. — Their num- 
 ber ftill increafed ; and all with one confent feem- 
 ed to rejoice in my coming among them. Not a 
 word of oppofition was heard from any, alihough 
 in times pad they liad been quite oppOfite to any 
 thing of that nature. 
 
 24. I oreached to the Indians at their' defiire, 
 and upon their own motion. To fee poor Pagans 
 dcfirous of hearing the goipel of Chrill, animated 
 me to difcourfe to them, although I was very- 
 weak, and my fpirits much cxhaullcd. They at- 
 tended with the greateft fcrioulnefs and diligence; 
 and there was fomc concern apparent among them. 
 June 27. I preached to the Indians again. 
 Their number now amounted to zhout forty per- 
 fons. Their folemnity and attention (till con- 
 tinued ; and a confiderable concern for their louls 
 became very apparent among fundry of them. 
 
 28. The 
 
 1 
 
C 105 ] 
 
 28. The Indians being now gathered a con* 
 fiderable number of them, from their feveral dif- 
 tant habitations^ requeued me to preach twice a 
 day to them, being defirous to hear as much as 
 they could while I was with them. I chearfuUy 
 complied, and could hot but admire the goodnefs 
 of God, who had inclined them to inquire after 
 the way of falvation. 
 
 29. I preached twice to the Indians ; and could 
 not but wonder at their ferioufnefs, and the ftrifl- 
 nels of their attention.-— BleiTed be God that has 
 inclined their hearts to hear. And O how re- 
 frefhing it is to me, to lee them attend with fuch 
 uncommon diligence and afFe6lion. 
 
 I likewifeTaw the hand of God making provi- 
 fion for their fubfi Hence together, in order to 
 their being inftru6led. For this day and the day 
 before, with only walking a little way from the 
 place of our daily meeting, they killed three decr^ 
 which were a feafonable fupply for their wants, 
 and without which, they could not have fubfifted 
 together in order to attend the means of grace. 
 
 Lord's-day, June 30. I preached twice this 
 day alio, and obferved more concern and afFeftion 
 among the poor Heathens than ever *, fo that they 
 even tonltrained me to tarry longer with them ; 
 althougli my conftilution was exceedingly worn 
 out, and my health much impaired by the late fa- 
 tigues and labours, and efpecially by my late 
 jouMicy to Sufquahannah, 
 
 Jwly 1. I pt cached twice to a very ferious and 
 attentive alTembly, who had now learned tb^ at- 
 tend the worlhip of God with Chrijlian dccerCe^, 
 
 There were now hc^^N&cr\ forty d^nd Jijty pei^- 
 fons of them prefent, old and young. 
 
 I rpent forae rime in difcouifing with them in 
 private, inquiring what they remembered of the 
 great truths that had been taught them. It was a- 
 mazing to fee how they had received and retain- 
 ed the inlhuclions given them, and what a mea- 
 iure of knowledge fome of them had acquired in ^ 
 few days. 
 
 July 
 
[ .06 ] 
 
 July 2. I was obliged to leaVe thefe Indians 
 at Crofweekfang, thinking it my duty, as Toon as 
 health would admit, to vifit thofe at the Forks of 
 Delaware. When I came to take leave of thera, 
 they all earneftly inquired when I would come 
 again, and exprelTed a great dcfire of being far- 
 ther inllrufted : and of their own accord agreed, 
 that when I fhould come again, they would all 
 meet and live together during my continuance 
 with them ; and that they would do their utmoft 
 endeavours to gather all the other Indians in 
 thole parts that were farther remote. And when 
 I parted, one told me with many tears, *' She 
 wiftied God would change her heart ;" another, 
 that " fhe wanted to find Chrift:" and an old 
 man that had been one of their chiefsy wept bitter- 
 ly. I then promifed them to return as fpeedily 
 as my health, and bufinefs elfewhere would ad- 
 mit, and felt not a litiU concerned at parting, \t[\ 
 good impreflions then apparent upon them, might 
 wear off. 
 
 Afterwards I rode to Brunfwick, near forty 
 miles, and lodged there, I felt my heart drawn 
 out after God in prayer, almofl all the after- 
 noon. And in the evening, could not help cry- 
 ing to God for thefe poor Indians; and after I 
 went to bed, my heart continued to go out to 
 God for them, *till I dropped afleep. 
 
 [He was now fo beat out by conftant preach- 
 ing, that he found it neceffary to give himfelf 
 fome relaxation. He fpent therefore about a 
 week in New-Jerfey, vifiting feveral miniflers, 
 and performing fome neceffary bufinefs. And 
 though he was very weak in body, yet he feems 
 to have been flrong in fpirit. On July 12. he 
 arrived at his own houfe In the Forks of Dela- 
 ware ; continuing ffill free from melancholy ; and 
 from day to day enjoying freedom and refrefh* 
 ment.J 
 
 Lords-day, July 14. I difcourfed to the In- 
 dians twice, feveral of whom appeared convinced 
 
 of 
 
[ '07 ] 
 
 of their fin and mircry ; fo iLat they wept mucU 
 the whole time of divine fervicc. Afterwards I 
 difcourfed to a number of while people then prc- 
 fent. 
 
 July 18, I longed to fpcnd the little ineh of 
 time 1 have in the wcild for God. Felt a fpirit 
 of ferioufnefs, tenderncfs, and devotion ; and:* 
 wifhed to fpend hlie whole night in prayer and 
 communion with God. 
 
 19. Jn the evening I walked abroad for prayer 
 and meditation: and enjoyed compofure ar)d free- 
 dom in thefc Iweet excrcifes ; efpeciaily in medi- 
 tation en Rev. iii. 12. *• Him that overcometh, 
 will 1 make a pillar in the temple of my God," &c. 
 This was a delightful theme. Oh, when Ihall I 
 go no more out from the fervicc and enjoyment of 
 my dear Lordi Lord, haftcn the bkfled day. 
 
 Lord's-day. July 21. I preached to the In- 
 dians firft, then to a number of >'hlte people, and 
 in the afternoon to the Indians again. — Divine 
 truths feemed to make very confiderable impref- 
 fions upon fevcral of them, and caufed the tears 
 to flow freely. 
 
 Afterwards I baptized my interpretsr and his 
 wife, who were the firfl I baptized among the In- 
 dians. 
 
 They are both perfons of fome experimsn^al 
 knowledge in religion ; have both been awaken- 
 ed to a folemn concern for their fouls and brought 
 to a fenfe of their mifery and undonenefs j and 
 have both been comforted with divine confola- 
 tions. 
 
 It may perhaps be fatlsftiQory that I fliouldgive 
 fome relation of niy interpreter's experience fince 
 he has been with me. 
 
 When I iirft employed him in the beginning of 
 ftimmer 1744, he was well fitted for his work in 
 regard of his acquaintance with the h.dian and 
 Englifli language ; and in regard of his deiirc that 
 the Indians fliould conform to the culloms and 
 manners of the Englifh. But he feemed to have no 
 imprefiion of religion, and in that relp^dl was 
 
 vciv 
 
[ io8 ] 
 
 very uvjlt for his work, being uncapablc of un- 
 derftanding and communicating to others many 
 things of importance; fo that I laboured under 
 great difadvantages in addreffing the Indians, for 
 want of his having an experimental acquaintance 
 with divine truths; and, at times I was much 
 difcouraged, when I obferved that divine truths 
 made little or no impreflion upon him for many 
 zveeks together. 
 
 He indeed behaved foberly, (although before 
 he had been a hard drinker)^ and feemed honeflly 
 engaged as far as he was capable in the perform- 
 ance of his work, and efpecially he v/as very de- 
 firous that the Indians (hould conform to the 
 culloms of the chriftian world. But ftill feemed 
 to have no concern about his own foul. 
 
 Near the latter end of July 1744, I preached 
 to an affcmbly of white people, with freedom 
 and fervency : at which time he Vv'as prefent, and 
 was fomewhat awakened; fo that the next day he 
 difcourfed freely with me about his fpiritual con- 
 cerns, and gave me an oppoitunitv to ufe farther 
 endeavours to faften the impreffions upon his 
 mind; and I could plainly perceive alter this, 
 that, he addrelfed the Indians with more concern 
 and fervency, 
 
 But thefc imprefTions feemed to decline, 'till in 
 the fall of the year following he fell into a weak 
 ftate o^ body. At this feafon divine truth took 
 hold of him, and made deep impreflions upon hi» 
 mind. He was brought under great concern for 
 his foul, and was burdened from day to day. 
 Plis trouble prevailed, 'till at length his fleep de- 
 parted from him, and he had little red day or 
 night ; but v/alked about under great prcffure of 
 mind, and appeared like another man to his neigh- 
 bours, who could not but obferve his behaviour 
 with wonder. 
 
 After he had been fometirne flriving for mer- 
 cy, he fays, there feemed to be an impalTable 
 mountain before him. He was preiling towards, 
 heaven, but " his way was hedged up with thorns, 
 
 tJiac 
 
C 109 J 
 
 that he could not fllr an inch farther.** He look« 
 ed this way and that way, but could find no way 
 at all. He felt, «* it fignified juft nothing at all 
 to ftrive and ftruggle any more." And here, he 
 fays, he gave over ftriving, and felt that it was a 
 gone cafe with him, as to his own power, and 
 that all his attempts were, and for ever would be 
 vain and fruitlefs. 
 
 He knew, he faid, he was not guilty of fome 
 wicked adions as others were guilty of. He had 
 not been ufed to fteal, quarrel, and murder ; the 
 latter of which is common among the Indians. 
 He likewife knew that he had done many things 
 that were right. But ilill his cry was, " that he 
 had never done one good thing,'* (meaning that 
 he had never done any thing from a right princi^ 
 pkf and with 9. right view, though he had done 
 many things that were materially good.) And 
 now I thought, faid he, that I muftfmk down to 
 hell, that there was no hope for me, " becaufe I 
 never could do any thing that was good ; and if 
 God let me alone never fo long, and I ihould try 
 never fo much, flill I fhould do nothing but 
 what is bad. 
 
 There was one thing more in his view of things 
 that was very remarkable. He not only faw, 
 what a miferable Hate he himfelf was in, but he 
 faw the world around him were in the fame 
 periftiing circumftances. And this he faw clearly, 
 *' as if he now awaked out of fleep, or had a cloud 
 taken from before his eyes.'* He faw that tke 
 life he had lived was the way to eternal death, 
 that he was now on the brink of endlefs mifery : 
 and when he looked round he faw multitudes of 
 others who had lived the fame life with himfelf, 
 —had no moregoodnefs than he, and yet dreamed 
 that they were fafe enough, as he had formerly 
 done. 
 
 After he had been for fome time in this con- 
 dition, fenfible of the impoflibility of helping 
 himfelf; then, he fays, it was borne in upon his 
 mind as if it had been audibly fpoken, ** There is 
 K hope, 
 
[ «'o : 
 
 hope, there is hope." Whereupon his foulfeem- 
 ed to reft and be in feme meafure fatisficd, though 
 he had no confideraMe joy ; Neither can he re- 
 member diftinftly any views he had of Chrift, 
 or give any clear account of his acceptance 
 through him. 
 
 But thefe exeixrifes of -foul were followed by a 
 great change, fo that it might juftly be faid, he 
 was become another mart. He <was much altered, 
 and even the world could not but admire what 
 had befallen him to make fo great a change ia 
 Kis temper, difcourfe, and behavicMir.— — 
 
 Arwi efpecially there was a furprifing altera- 
 tion in his public performances. He now ad- 
 dreffed the Indians with admirable fervency, and 
 fcarce knew when to leave off; and fometiraes 
 when I had concluded my difcourfe, and was re- 
 turning homeward, he would tarry behind to re- 
 peat and inculcate what had been fpoken. 
 
 Hi^ change i^ abiding, and his life unblemipied 
 to this day, though it is now more than fix months 
 fince he experienced it; in which fpac€ he has 
 been as much expofed to Jirong drCak, as poflible, 
 in divers places ; and yet has never difcovered 
 *ny defire after it. 
 
 And upon llrifl obfervation of his Chriftiaa 
 temper, and unblemilhed behaviour for fo con- 
 fiderable a time, I think I have reafon to hope 
 that he is '* created anew in Chrill Jefus to good 
 works." 
 
 His name is MofesTindaTautamy; be is abou-t 
 fifty years of age, and pretty well acquainted 
 with the notions and culloms of his countrymen, 
 and fo is the bettC'r able to expofe them. He has 
 already been, and I troft will yet be a blefling to 
 other Indians. 
 
 July 26. In the evening, -God was plcafed to 
 help me in prayer, beyond what I have experi- 
 enced for fome time ; efpecially for the enlarge- 
 ment of Chrifl's kingdom, and for the converfioa 
 of my poor people : my foul relied on God for 
 ihe. accompliihment .of that great work. Oh, 
 
 ho"*v 
 
ht)w fweet were the thoughts of death to me st 
 this time ! How I longed to be with Chrift, to 
 be employed in the glorious work of angels, and 
 with an angel's freedom, vigour, and delight ! 
 And yet how willing was I to (lay awhile oa 
 earth, that I might do fomething, if the Lord 
 pleafed, for his intereft. My loul longed for the 
 in-gathering of the poor Heathen ; and I cried to 
 God for them mofl willingly and heartily. This 
 was a fwect feafon ; I had a livel:y tafte of hea- 
 ven, and a temper fuited in fome meafur^ to th« 
 entertain'ments of it» My foul was grieved to 
 leave the place ; but my body was weak and 
 worn out, I longed that the remaining part of 
 my life might be filled up with more fervency 
 and aftivity in the things of God. Oh the inward 
 peace, compofure, and God-like fcrenity of fuch 
 a frame I Heaven mufl needs differ from this 
 only in degree, and not in kind. 
 
 Lord's-day, July 28. I preached again, and per- 
 ceived my people, more thoughtful than ever. 
 I was told by fome, that feeing my interpreter and 
 his wife baptized, made them more concerned 
 than any thing they had ever feen or hear^. 
 There was indeed a confiderable appearance of 
 divine power among them at the time that ordi- 
 nance was adminiftered* 
 
 July 30. I difpourfed to a number of my peo- 
 ple, and gave thehi particular advice and direftion, 
 being now about to leave them for the prefent, in 
 ©rder to renew my vifit to the Indians at New- 
 Jerfey. They were very attentive, and earneflly 
 defirous to know when I defigned to return, 
 
 [On July 31. He fet out on his return to Crof- 
 weekfung, and arrived there the next day. In 
 his way he had longing dehres that he might come 
 to the Indians in the " fulnefs of the blefling of 
 the gofpel of Chrilt ;** attended with a fenfe of 
 his own great weaknefs, dependence, and worth- 
 lelTnefs.] 
 
 Augult 2. In the evening I retired, and my 
 
 foul was drawn out in prayer to God j efpecially 
 
 K a for 
 
tortny poor people, to whom I had fent word to 
 gather together, that I might preach to them the 
 »iext day. I was much enlarged in praying for 
 their converfion ; and fcarce ever found my de- 
 fires of any thing of this nature, fo fenlibly and 
 clearly, and free from felfilh views. I had no 
 defire to be the inftrument of fo glorious a work, 
 as I prayed for among the Indians ; if the blefled 
 "work might be accompliftied to the honour of 
 God, and the enlargement of the dear Redee- 
 mer's kingdom, this was all my defire and care | 
 and for this mercy I hoped, but with trembling. 
 My riling hopes, refpefting the converfion of 
 the Indians, have been fo often daihed, that my 
 fpirit is as it were broken, and I haraly dare 
 hope. 
 
 Augufl 5. I now found them ferious, and a 
 number of them under deep concern for an in- 
 tereft in Chrift : their conviftions of their finful 
 and perilhing ftate having, in my abfence been 
 much promoted by the labours of the Rev, Mr» 
 William Tennant, to whom I had advifed them 
 to apply, and whofe houfe they had frequented 
 much,— I preached to them this day on Rev. xxik 
 17. " And whofoever will, let him take the 
 water of life freely/' 
 
 I was enabled to fet l^fore them the Lord Jefuft 
 Chrift as a kind and compaffionate Saviour, in- 
 viting diftreffed and perilhing fmners to accept 
 cveilafting mercy, A furprizing concern fooa 
 appealed among them. There were about 20 
 adult perfons together, (many of the Indians at 
 remote places, not having as yet had time to come 
 fince my return,) and not above two that I could 
 fee with dry eyes. Some difcovercd vehement 
 longings after Chrift, to fave them from th« 
 mifery they felt and feared* 
 
 Lord's-day, Auguft 4. Being invited by a neigh* 
 bouring minifter to aflift in the adminiRration of 
 the Lord's-fupper, I complied with his requeft,ajad 
 took the Indians along with me ; not only thofo 
 that were together the day before, but many more 
 
 that 
 
C H3 ] 
 
 that were coming to hear me ; fo that there were 
 near fifty in all. 
 
 They attended the feveral difcourfes of the 
 day; fome of them were much affefted, and all 
 fcemed to have their concern raifed. 
 
 Now a change in their manners began to appear* 
 In the evening when they came to Cup together, 
 they would not tafte a morfel till they had fent 
 to me to come and alk a blefling on their food : 
 at which time fundry of them wept, efpecially 
 when I minded them how they had in times palt 
 «at their feafts in honour to dcviis, and negletted 
 to thank God for them. 
 
 Auguft 5, After a fermon had been preached 
 by another minifter, 1 preached, and concluded 
 the public work of the folemnity from John vii. 
 37. In my difcourfe I addreffed the Indians in 
 particular, wlio fat by themfelves in a part of the 
 houfc ; at which time one or two of them were 
 flruck with deep concern, who had been little 
 affected before : others had their concern in- 
 creafed to a confiderable degree. In the evening 
 I difcourfed to them, and found them univerfally 
 engaged, inquiring, <' What they fhould do to 
 be faved ?" And all their converlation among 
 themfelves turned upon religious matters, in which 
 they were much afTiIled by my interpreter, who 
 was with them day and night. 
 
 This day there was one woman, that had been 
 much concerned ever lince (he heard me preach 
 in June, who obtained comfort, I truft, folid and 
 well grounded : (he fcemed to be filled with love 
 to Chrift, at the fame time fhe behaved humbly and 
 tenderly, and appeared afraid of nothing fo much 
 as of grieving him whom her foul loved. 
 
 6. In the morning I difcourfed to the Indians 
 at the houfe where we lodged : many of them 
 were then much atfe£tcd, fo that a few words 
 about their fouls would caufe the teai^s to flow 
 freely, and produce many fobs and groans. 
 
 In the afternoon, they being returned to the 
 
 pkce where 1 have ufually preached among them, 
 
 K ^ 1 agviia 
 
C "4 1 
 
 I again difcourfed to them there. There wct^ 
 about fifty-five perfons in all, about forty that 
 were capable of attending divine fervice with 
 underflanding ; I infilled upon i John iv. low 
 " Herein is love,** &c. They feemed eager of 
 bearing ; but there appeared nothing very re- 
 markable, till near the clofe of my difcourfe ; and 
 then divine truths were attended with a furpri- 
 fing influence. There was fcarce three in fort^ 
 that could refrain from tears and bitter cries* 
 They all, as one, feemed in an agony of foul to 
 obtain an intereft in Chrift ; and the more I dif- 
 courfed of the love and compaflion of God in 
 fending his Son to fuffer for the fins of men ; and 
 the more I invited them to come and partake of 
 his love, the more their diftreis was aggravated.^ 
 
 It was furprifmg to fee how their hearts were 
 pierced with the tender invitations of the gofpel, 
 when there was not a word of terror fpoken to 
 them. 
 
 There was this day two perfons that obtained 
 comfort, which (when I came to difcourfe with 
 them) appeared folid, rational, and fcriptural. 
 After I had inquired into the grounds of their 
 comfort, I alked what they wanted God to do 
 further for them ? They replied, " They wanted 
 Chrill ihould wipe their hearts quite clean,'* 
 
 7.' I preached to the Indians from Ifa. Uii, 3-^ 
 10, There was a remarkable influence attending 
 the word. Moft were much afFefted, and many 
 in great dift:refs ; and fome could neither go nor 
 iland, but lay flat on the ground, as if pierced 
 at heart, crying inceflantly for mercy : feveral 
 were newly awakened, and it was remarkable, 
 that as fall as they came from remote places round 
 about, the Spirit of God feemed to feize them. 
 
 After public fervice I found two perfons more, 
 that had newly met with comfort, of whom I had 
 good hopes ; and a third that I could not but en- 
 tertain fome hopes of, fo that here were now fix 
 \vk all, that had got fome relief from their fpiiit- 
 
C "5 7 
 
 ©at diftreffes, and five whofe experience appeared 
 clear and fatisfatlory. 
 
 Aug. 8. In the afternoon I preached to the 
 Indians, their number was now about fixty-iive 
 perfons, men, women, and children. I difcourfed 
 from Luke xiv. 16—23. and was favoured with, 
 uncommon freedom. 
 
 There was much concern among them while I 
 Vras difcourling publicly ; but afterwards when I 
 Ipoke to one and another more particularly, 
 whom I perceived under concern, the power of 
 God feemed to defcend upon the afifembly "like 
 a ruftiing mighty wind," and with an aftonifhing, 
 energy bore down all before it. 
 
 I Hood amazed at the influence that feized the 
 audience almoft univerfally, and could compare 
 it to nothing more aptly than a mighty torrent, 
 that bears down and fwceps before it whatever is 
 in its Way. Almoft all perfons of all ages were 
 bowed down together, and icarce one was able to 
 withlland the JJiock of this furprifing operation. 
 Old men and women, who had been drunken 
 wretches for many years, and fome little children, 
 not more than fix or feven years of age, appeared 
 in diftrefs for their fouls, as well as perfons of 
 middle age. And it was apparent thefe children 
 were not merely frighted with feeing the general 
 concern ; but were made fenfible of their danger, 
 the badnefs of their hearts, and their mifery with- 
 out Chrift. The mofl ftubborn hearts were now 
 obliged to bow. A principal man among the 
 Indians, who before thought his flate good, be- 
 caufe he knew more than the generality of the 
 Indians, ' and who with great confidence the 
 day before, told me, " he had been a Chrif- 
 tian more than ten years," was now brought 
 under folemn concern for his foul, and wept 
 bitterly. Another man confiderable in years, 
 who had been a murderer^ a pawzuaw, and a noto- 
 rious drunkard, was likewife brought now to 
 cry for mercy with many tears, and to complain 
 much that he could be no more concerned vviherv 
 he f^w his danger fo great. They 
 
r nO J 
 
 Tliey were almoft univerfally praying and cryi 
 ing for mercy in every part of the houfe, and 
 niany out of doors, and numbers could neither go 
 nor ftand : iheir concern was fo great, each for 
 himfelf, that none feemed to take any notice of 
 thofe about them, but each prayed for themfelves j 
 and were, to their own apprehenfion, as much 
 retired as if every one had been by himfelf in a 
 defert, or, rather, they thought nothing about atiy 
 but themfelves, and fo were every one praying 
 cpart, although all together. 
 
 It feemed to me there was an exadl fulfilment 
 of that prophecy, Zech. xii. lo, ii, 12, for there 
 was now ** a great mourning, like the mourning 
 of Plddadn'mmon :"— and each feemed to "mourn 
 apart." Methought this had a near refemblance 
 to the day of God's power, mentioned J.ofti. x« 
 14. for I mufl fay, I never faw any day like it in 
 all refpeils ; it was a day wherein the Lord did 
 much deflroy the kingdom of darknefs among this 
 people. 
 
 This concern was moft rational and juft : thofe. 
 who had been awakened any conliderable time, 
 complained efpecially of the badnefs of their 
 hearts ; thofe newly awakened, of the badnefs 
 of their lives and aitions j and all were afraid of 
 the anger of God, and of everlalling raifery as the 
 defert of their fins. 
 
 Some of the zvkite people, who came out of 
 curiofity to " hear what this babbler would fay." 
 to the poor ignorant Indians, were much awaken- 
 ed, and appeared to be wounded with- a view of 
 their perilling Hate. 
 
 Thofe who had lately obtained relief, were 
 filled with comfort ; they appeared calm and re- 
 joiced in Chri^ft Jcfus ; and fome of them took 
 their diflrefTed friends by the hand, telling them 
 of the goodnefs of Chrifl, and the comfort that 
 3s to be enjoyed in him, and invited them to 
 come and give u}> their hearts to him. And I 
 could obferve fome of them, in the moli unaffec- 
 ted manner, lifting up their eyes to heaven, as if 
 
 crying 
 
r "7 3 
 
 crying for mercy, while they (aw iht diflrefs of 
 the poor fouls around them. 
 
 Therewasone remarkable inftance thisday, that 
 I cannot but take particular notice of. A young 
 Indian woman, who, I believe, never knew be- 
 fore fhe had a foul, hearing that there was lome- 
 thing ftrange among the Indians, came to fee 
 what was the matter, I had not proceeded far 
 in my difcourfe, before ih^e felt efekuaUy that {he 
 had a foul ; and before I had concluded, was fo 
 convinced of her fin and mifery, and fo diftreffed 
 with concern for her foul, that fhe feemed like 
 one pierced through with a dart^ and cried out 
 inceffantly. She could neither go nor Itand, nor 
 fit on her feat without being held up. After pub- 
 lic fervicc was over, fhe lay flat on the ground 
 praying earneflly, and would take no notice of, 
 nor give any anfwer to any that fpoke to her. I 
 hearkened to hear what Ihe faid, and perceived 
 the burden of her prayer to be, gutlummaukalum' 
 mek zcechaumeh kvielch Ndah, i. e. " Have mercy 
 en me, and help me to give you my heart.'* And 
 thus (he continued praying inceffantly for many 
 hours, 
 
 Auguft 9.1 fpent almoft thewholeday with the 
 Indians, the former part of it in difcourfing with 
 them privately, efpecially fome who lately receiv- 
 ed comfort, and endeavouring to enquire into the^ 
 grounds of it, as well as to give them fome proper 
 jnilruftions, cautions, and directions. 
 
 In the afternoon I difcourfed to them publick- 
 ly. There were now prefent about leventy 
 perfons, I opened and applied the parable of 
 the fower, and was enabled to difcourfe with 
 much plainnefs. There were many tears among 
 them while I was difcourfing, but no confidera- 
 ble cry : yet fome were much affefted with a few 
 words fpoken from Matth. xi. 28, with which I 
 concluded. But while I was difcourfing near 
 night to two or three of the awakened perfons, ^ 
 divine influence feemed to attend what was fpo- 
 ken, which caufed the perfons to cry out in an* 
 
 guifll 
 
C ..8 ] 
 
 guifh of foul, although I fpoke not a word' c?f 
 terror : but, on the contrary, fet before them the 
 fulnefs of Chnll's merits, and his willingnefs ta 
 fave all that came to him. 
 
 The cry of thefe was heard by others, who, 
 though fcattered before, immediately gathered 
 round. I then proceeded in the fame flrain of 
 gofpel-invitation, till they were all melted into 
 tears and cries, except two or three ; and feemed 
 in the greatefl diltreCs to find and fecure an in- 
 tereft in the great Redeemer. — Some who had but 
 little more than a rugle. made m th^'it pajjions the 
 day before, feemed now to be deeply affe6led»; 
 and the concern in general appeared near as pre- 
 valent as the day before. There was indeed a 
 very great mourning among them, and yet every 
 one feemed to mourn apart. For fo great was 
 their concern, that almolt every one was prayintg, 
 and crying for himfelf, as if none had been near* 
 Guttunnnaukalummeh, gitttummaukalummehi i. • e»- 
 ** Have mercy upon me, have mercy upon me-j 
 was the common cry." 
 
 It was very affctting to fee the poor Indians, 
 who the other day were yelling in their idolatrous 
 leafts, now crying to God with fuch importunity, 
 for an intercft in his dear Son ! 
 
 I found two or three who I hope had taken 
 comfort upon good grounds fince the evening be- 
 fore : and thefe, with others that had obtained 
 comfort, were together, and feemed to rejoice 
 much that God was carrying on his work with 
 fuch power upon others. 
 
 Aug. ID. I began to difcourfe privately with 
 thofe who had obtained comfort ; endeavouring 
 to inflruft;, direft, caution, and comfort them* 
 But others being eager of hearing* every word 
 that related to fpiritual concerns, foon came to- 
 gether one after another ; and when I had difcour- 
 fed to the young converts more than half an houF, 
 they feemed much melted with divine things, and 
 earneftly defirous to be with Chrift. 
 
 When 1 had fpeiit fome time with thefe, 1 tur- 
 ned 
 
C i«9 1 
 
 tied to tTie other Indians, and fpoke to them from 
 Luke xtx, lo. I had not difcourfed long before 
 tkeir concern role to a great degree, and the 
 houfe was filled with cries and groans. And 
 when I infifted on the compaflTion an-d care of the 
 Lord Jefus Chrifl for thoje that zoere Icjl and couM 
 find no way of efcap«, this melted them down 
 the more, and aggravated their didrefs, that they 
 could not come to fo kind a Saviour* 
 
 Sundry perfons, who before had been but flight- 
 ly awakened, were now deeply wounded. And 
 one man in particular, who was never before 
 awakened, was now made to feel, that *« the 
 word of the Lord was quick and powerful, fiiar- 
 per than any two-edged fword.** Pie feemed to 
 be pierced to the heart, and faid, ** all the wicked- 
 nefs of his pad life was brought frefh to his re- 
 membrance, and he faw all the vile aftions he 
 had done formerly, as if done but yeflerday." 
 
 I found one that had newly received comfort, 
 after prefTing diftrefs from day to day. I could 
 not but admire the divine goodnefs. There feems 
 to be fome good done by every difcourfe ; iome 
 newly awakened every day, and fome comforted, 
 
 Lord*s-day, Auguii ii, I difcourfed in the 
 forenoon from the parable of the prodigal f on* 
 
 In the afternoon 1 difcourfed upon part of St» 
 Peter's fermon, Afts ii, and at the clofe of my 
 difcourfe to the Indians, made an addrefs to the 
 white people, and divine truths feemed to be at- 
 tended with power both to the £nglifh and In- 
 dians. Several of the white Heathen were aw;aken- 
 cd, and could no longer be idle fpeftators, but 
 found they had fouls to iave as well as the In- 
 dians, and a great concern fpread through the 
 whole aflembly, fothat this alio appeared to be a 
 day of God's power. 
 
 The number of the Indians, old and youngs 
 was now upwards of leventy, and one or two 
 were newly awakened this day, who never ap- 
 peared to be moved before, 
 
 Thofc 
 
C »2<» 1 
 
 Thofe that had obtained comfort, and had given 
 evidences of a faving change, appeared humble 
 and devout, and behaved in an agreeable and 
 Chrillian manner. I was refreftied to fee the ten«» 
 dernefs of confcience manifeft in fome of them. 
 Perceiving one of them very forrowful in the. 
 morning, I enquired into the caufe of her forrow, 
 and found {he had been angry with her child the 
 evening before, and was in fear left her anger had 
 been inordinate, which fo grieved her, that fhe 
 walked and began to fob before day-light, and 
 continued weeping for feveral hours together. 
 .AtJguft 14. I fpent the day with the Indians. 
 There was one of them who had fome time fince 
 put away his wife, (as is common among them) 
 <ind taken another woman, and being now brought 
 under fome ferious impreflions, was earneftly de-. 
 firoui to know what God would have. him to do. 
 When the law of God refpe£ling marriage had 
 been opened to them, and the caufe of his leaving 
 his wife enquired into ; and when it appeared fhC' 
 had given him no juft occafion by unchajiity to de- 
 ffert her, and that {he was willing to forgive his 
 pafi mrfconduft, he was tlien told, that it was his 
 ihdifpen{iible duty to renounce the woman he had 
 laft taken, and receive the other who was his 
 proper wife, with which he chearfuUy complied, 
 and thereupon publicly renounced the woman ho 
 had laft taken, and publickly promifed to live 
 with his wife during life. ■ And here appeared 
 a clear denionftration of the power of God's word 
 upon their hearts. A few weeks before the whole 
 world could not have perfuaded him to a compli- 
 ance with Chriftian rules in this affair. 
 
 Auguft 15. I preached from Luke iv, 16. 
 The word was attended with power upon the 
 hearts of the hearers. There was much concern, 
 many tears, and aflPe6ling cries among them, and 
 fome were deeply wounded and dilbefted. There 
 were fome newly awakened who came but this 
 week, and convictions feemed to be promoted in 
 Others. — Thofe that had received comfort, were 
 
 likcwif« 
 
likewife refrefiied and flrengthenec!, and the work 
 ©f grace appeared to advance in all refpefts, 
 
 16, I fpent a confiderable time in converfing 
 privately with fundry of the Indians, I found 
 one that had got comfort, after prefTmg concern 
 and could not but hope, when I difcourfed with 
 her, that her comfort was of the right kind. 
 
 In the afternoon I preached from John vi. 26, 
 34, Toward the clofe of my difcourfe, divine 
 truths were attended with confiderable power 
 upon the audience, and more efpecially after pub- 
 lic fervice was over, when I particularly addreff- 
 «d the diftreTTed perfons. 
 
 There was a great concern for their fouls fpread 
 generally among them : but efpecially there were 
 two-perlons newly awakened to a fenfe of their 
 fin and mifery,orie of whom was lately come, and 
 the other had all along been very attentive, and 
 defirous of being awakened, but could never be- 
 fore have any lively view of ht:r periftiing ftate. 
 But now her fpiriiual diflrefs was fuch, that I 
 had never feen any more prefling. Sundry old 
 men were alfo in diflrefs for their (buls ; fo that 
 they could not refrain from weeping and crying 
 out aloud , and their bitter groans were the moft 
 convincing, as well as afFefting evidence of the 
 depth of their inward anguilh, God is powerfully 
 at work among them ! True and genuine con- 
 viftions of fin are daily promoted in many inftan- 
 ces, andfomc are newly awakened from lime to 
 time. 
 
 17. I fpeht much time in private conference 
 with the Indians. I found one who had newly 
 obtained comfort, after along feafon of fpiritual 
 diflrefs, (he having been one of »i)y hearers in the 
 Forks of Delaware for more than a year, and now 
 followed ;) e hither under deep concern : and I 
 had abundant reafon to hope that his comfort was 
 well grounded. 
 
 Augull 19. I rode to Fieehold, and preached 
 to a confiderable alfembly, from Matt, v, 3. It 
 
 L p leafed 
 
pleafed God to leave me dry and barren ; but be 
 has made my foul acquiefce in his will. It is 
 contrary to flefh and blood, to be cut off from all 
 freedom, in a large audity, where tlieir expefta- 
 tions are much raifed ; but fo it was with me ; and 
 God helped me to fay ; " Good is the will of the 
 Lord." 
 
 23. I fpent fome time with the Indians in pri- 
 vate diicourfe ; afterwards preached to them from 
 John vi. 44 — 50. There was a great attention 
 and fome afre6lion among them.- Several appear- 
 ed deeply concerned for thejri^Qyls, ami could not 
 but cxprefs their inward anguifla by tears and 
 cries. But the amazing influence .that has been fo 
 powerfully among them, feems, at prefent, in fome 
 degree abated. 
 
 24. 1 fpent the forenoon in difcourfipg to fome 
 of the Indians, in order to their receiving the or- 
 dinance of baptifm. When I had opened the na- 
 ture of the ordinance, the obligations attending 
 it, the duty of devoting ourfelves to^ God in it^ 
 and the privilege of being i;z covevant with him, 
 fundry of ihefn feemed to be HUed with love to 
 God, and delighted with the thoughts of giving 
 up themfelves to him in that folemn and public 
 rnanner. 
 
 Afterwards I difcourfcd publicly from 1 Thefif. 
 iv. 13 — 17. There was a folemn attention and 
 vifible concern in the time of public fervice, 
 which was afterwards increafed by fome further 
 exhortation given them to come to Chrift and 
 give up their hearts to him, that they might be 
 fitted to «• afccnd up and meet him in the air,*^ 
 when he fhall " delcend with a fhout, and the 
 voice of the archangel." 
 
 There were feveral Indians newly come, who 
 thought their flate good, becaufc they had lived 
 with the white people under gofpel light, alt'iough 
 they were altogether unacquainted with the 
 power of religion. 
 
 With 
 
With thofe I difcouiTed particularly after pub- 
 lic worlhip, and was furprized to fee their felf- 
 righteous dirpofition, their ftrong attachment to 
 the covenant of works, and the high value tliey 
 put upon their fuppofed attainments. Yet afier 
 hiuch difcourfe, one appeared convinced, that 
 " by the deeds of the law no flefh living ihould 
 be juflified/'and wept bitterly, inquiring, *' what 
 he mult do to be faved ?" 
 
 Lord's-day, Augufl25. I preached in the fore- 
 noon from Luke xv. 3 — 7. There being a multi- 
 tude of white people prefent, I made an addrefs- 
 to them at the clofe of my difcourfe : but could 
 not fo much as keep them orderly ; for fcorcs of 
 them kept walking and gazing about, and beha- 
 ved more indecently than any Indians I ever ad- 
 d re (Ted, 
 
 Afterwards I baptized tzventy-five pcrfons of 
 the Indians, fifteen adults, and ten childron, 
 Moll of the adults I have reafon to hope are re- 
 newed perfons ; Only the cafe of two or three 
 appeared more doubtful. 
 
 After the croud of fpefiators was gone, I call- 
 ed the baptized perfons together, and difcouifed 
 to them in particular, minded them of the folemn 
 obligations they were under to live to God, and 
 encouraged them to watchfulnefs and devotion, 
 by fetting before them the comfort and happy 
 conclufion of a religious life. This was a fweet 
 feafon indeed! Their hearts were engaged and 
 chearfulin duty, and they rejoiced that they had 
 in a public and folemn manner dedicated them- 
 felves to God. Love feemed to reign among 
 them ! They took each other by the hand with 
 tendernefs and afFeftion, as if their hearts were 
 knit together, while I was difcourfing to them : 
 and all their deportment towards each other, was 
 fuch, that a ferious fpeftator might juflly be ex- 
 cited to cry out with admiration, '* Behold how 
 they love one another V* Sundry of the other 
 Indians at feeing and hearing thefe things, were 
 L 2 much 
 
C 124 1 
 
 much affefted and wept bitterly, longing to be 
 partakers of the fame joy and comfort that thefe 
 difcovered by their countenance as well as con- 
 duft. 
 
 26. I preached to my people from John vi. 51^ 
 55. After I had difcourfed fome time, I addrefi- 
 cd thofe in particular who entertained hopes that 
 they were " paffed from death to life." I open- 
 ed to them the nature of thofe confolations 
 Chrift gives his people, (hewed them that fuch 
 have already the *« beginnings of eternal life,*' 
 f ver. 54.) and that their heaven ihall be fpeedily 
 compleated, 
 
 I no fooner began to difcourfe, but the Chrif- 
 tians in the congregation began to be melted with 
 affeftion to, and delire of the enjoyment of 
 Chrift, and of a ftate of perfeft purity. They 
 wept affe£lionately and yet joyfully, and their 
 teais and fobs difcovered hrokennefs of heart, and 
 yet were attended with comfort and fwectnefs ; 
 fo that this was a tender, affectionate, humble, 
 delightful melting, and appeared to be the genu- 
 ine effect of the Spirit of adoption ^ and very far 
 from the Spirit of bondage that they before la- 
 boured under. The influence fpread from thefe 
 through the whole affcmbly, and there quickly 
 appeared a wonderful concern among them. 
 Many who had not yet found Chrift, were fur- 
 prizingly engaged in feeking after him. Their 
 number was now about ninety-Jive perfons, and 
 almoft all affefted either with joy in Chrift, or 
 with the utmojt concern to obtain an intereft in 
 him. 
 
 Being convinced it was now my duty to take 
 a journey far back to the Indians on Sufquahan- 
 nah river, after having fpent fome hours in pub- 
 lic and private difcourfes with my people, I told 
 them that I muft leave them for the prefent, and 
 go to their brethren far remote,and preach to them, 
 that 1 wanted the Spirit of God Ihould go with 
 
 me, 
 
I ^^5 3 
 
 me, without whom nothing could be done to any 
 good purpofe, as they themfelves had had an op- 
 portunity to fee : and afked them, if they would 
 not fpend the remainder of the day in prayer for 
 me, that God would go with me, and fucceed my 
 endeavours. They chcarfully complied with the 
 motion, and foon after I left them (the fun being 
 then about one hour and a half high) they began 
 and continued praying all night 'till i^reak of day ^ 
 never miftrufting (they told me) 'till they went 
 out and faw the worKzw^^ar a confiderable height, 
 that it was later than common bed time. 
 
 There were, I truft, this day two diftreffed fouls' 
 brought to the enjoyment of folid comfort. 
 
 Likewife this day an old Indian, who has all 
 his days been an obftinate idolater, was brought 
 to give up his rattles (which they ufe for mufic 
 in their idolatrous feafts and dances) to the other 
 Indians, who quickly deflroyed them ; and this 
 without any attempt of mine in the affair, I hav- 
 ing faid nothing ^o him about it ; fo that it was 
 the power of God's word, without any particular 
 application to this fin, that produced this effett. 
 Thus God has begun, thus he has hitherto carried 
 on a work of grace amongd thefe Indians. May 
 the glory be afcribed to him, who is the fole au- 
 thor of it! 
 
 [The next day he fet out on a journey towards 
 the Forks of Delaware, dcfigning to go from 
 thence to Surqu?.hannah, before he returned to 
 Crofweekfung, It was five days from his de- 
 parture from Crofweekfung, before he reached 
 the Forks, going round by the way of Philadel- 
 phia, and waiting on the governor of Penfylva- 
 nia, to get a recommendation from hire to the 
 chiefs of the Indians. J 
 
 Forki of Delaware. 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. i. I preached to the Indians 
 
 here, from Luke xiv, 16 — 23. Afterwards I 
 
 L 3 preached 
 
r "6 1 
 
 preached to a number of white people, and ob- 
 •ferved many of them in tears, and fome who 
 had been formerly as carelefs and unconcerned 
 about religion as the Indians. 
 
 Towards night I difcourfed to the Indians 
 a^ain, and perceived a greater attention, and 
 more vifible concern among them, than has been 
 ufual in thefe parts, 
 
 3. 1 preached to the Indians from Ifa. liii. 3— 
 6. The divine prefence was in the midtt of the 
 aflTembly, and a confiderable concern fpread 
 among them. Sundry perfons were awakened, 
 among whom were two ftupid creatures, that I 
 could fcarce ever before keep awake while I was 
 difcourfing to them. 
 
 4. I rode 15 miles to an Irifti fettlement, and 
 preached there from Luke xiv. 22. ** And yet 
 there is room." God was pleafed to afford me 
 fome tendernefs and enlargement in the firfl pray- 
 er, and much freedom, as well as warmth, in the 
 fermon. There were many tears in the aflTembly: 
 the people of God feemed to melt, and others to 
 be in fome meafure awakened. Bleffed be the 
 Lord, that lets me fee his work going on in one 
 place and another. 
 
 5. I difcourfed to the Indians from the parable 
 of the fower, and afterwards converfed with fun- 
 dry perfons, which occafioned them to weep, and 
 even to cry out in an affefting manner, and (eized 
 others with furprize and concern. Several of 
 thefe had been with me to Crofweekfung, and 
 fome of them felt the power of God's word, I 
 afked one of them why he now cried? He repli- 
 ed, " When he thought how Chrift was flain 
 like a lamb, and fpilt his blood for fmners, he 
 could not help crying :" and thereupon burft 
 out into tears and cries again. 1 then afked his 
 wife, who likewife had been abundantly comfort- 
 ed, wherefore (he cried? She anfwered, " She 
 was grieved that the Indians here would not come 
 to Chrift, as well as thofe at Crofweekfung." I 
 &iked her if (he found a heart to pray for them, 
 
 and 
 
f ««7 1 
 
 and whether Chrid had been near to her of late 
 in prayer, as in time pafl ? (which is my ufual 
 method of expreffing a fcnfe of tlie divine prc- 
 fence.) She replied, " Yes, he had been near to 
 her ; and that at fome times when flie had been 
 praying alone, her heart loved to pray fo, that 
 ihe could not bear to leave the place, but wanted 
 to {lay and pray longer. 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. 8. I difcourfed to the In- 
 dians in the forenoon from John xii. 44 — 50 ; in 
 the afternoon from Afts ii. 36 — 39. The word 
 ©f God Teemed to fall with weight and influence 
 upon them, Moft of them were in tears, and 
 cried out under didrefling concern for their fouls. 
 One man was awakened, who never before dif- 
 covered any concern for his foul. There appear- 
 ed a remarkable work of the Spirit among them, 
 not unlike what has been of late at Croiweekfung. 
 It feemed as if the divine influence had fpread 
 from thence to this place. 
 
 Sundry of the carelefs white people now prc- 
 fent, were ilartled, feeing the power of God fo 
 prevalent among the Indians, I then made a 
 particular addrefs to them, which feemed to make 
 fome impreflion upon them. 
 
 In the evening God was pleafed to enlarge me 
 in prayer, and give me freedom at the throne of 
 grace : I cried to God for the enlargement of his 
 kingdom in the world, and particularly among my 
 dear people; and was enabled to pray for many 
 dear minillers of my acquaintance, both in thefff 
 parts and in New-England. My foul was fo en 
 gaged in that fweet exercife, that I knew not 
 how to leave the mercy feat. I faw, God was 
 both able and willing to do all that I defued, for 
 myfelf and friends, and his church in general. 
 And [afterwards, when I was juft going to bed, 
 God helped me to renew my petitions with ar- 
 dency and freedom. 
 
 Sept. 9. I left the Indians in the Forks of Dela- 
 ware, and fet out on a journey towards Sufqua- 
 hannah-river, direfting my courfe towards the 
 
 Ind<(in- 
 
C .28 ] 
 
 Inclian-town more than 120 miles weflward 
 from the Forks. 
 
 Sept. 13. Afler having lodged out three nights, 
 I arrived at the Indian-town on Sufquahannah, 
 called Shauiroking, (one of the places I vifued in- 
 May lafl) and was kindly received by the Indians ? 
 but had little fatisfaction by reafon of the Hea- 
 thenifh dance they then held in the houfe where 
 I was obliged lo lodge, which I could not fup- 
 prefs, though I often entreated them to defift, for 
 the fake of one of their own friends who was (ick 
 in the houfe. 
 
 This town lies partly on the eaft fide of the ri- 
 y.Tf partly on the weft, and partly on a large 
 ifldnd in it, and contains upwards of fifty houfes, 
 and near three hundred perions : but of three dif- 
 ferent tribes of Indians, fpeaking three languages 
 wholly vninUlligible to each other. About one 
 half of its inhabitants are Delawares, the others 
 called SenakaSj and Tutelas. The Indians of this 
 place are counted the moft drunken, mifchievous, 
 and ruffianly /e//i?a;j of any in thefe parts; and 
 Satan feems to have \\\sfcat in this toun in an emi- 
 nent manner. 
 
 Sept. 14. I vifited the Delaware king, (who 
 was iuppolcd to be at the point of death when I 
 was here in May la it, but was now recovered,) 
 and difcourfcd with him and others refpefting 
 Chriftianity, and fpent the afternoon with them, 
 and had more encouragement than I expedled. 
 The king appeared kindly difpofed, and willing 
 to be inllructed ; this gave me Tome encourage- 
 ment that God would open an ejf'cEiual door for my 
 preaching the gofpel here. This was a refrefh- 
 ment lo me in the wildernefs, and rendered my 
 folitary circumftances comfortable and pleafant. 
 
 In the evening my foul was enlarged in prayer, 
 efpccially, that God would fet up his kingdom \r\ 
 this place, where the devil now reigns. My faul 
 cried, " Lord, fet up thy kingdom, for thine owa 
 glory. Glorify thy fclf: and I Ihall rejoice. Get 
 honour to thy blelfed name : and this is all I de- 
 fire 
 
[ 129 3 
 
 (irc» Do with me juft what thou wilt. Blcflcd 
 be thy name for ever, that thou art God, and 
 that thou wilt glorify thyfelf. O that the whole 
 World might glorify thee ! O let thefc poor peo- 
 ple be brought to know thee, and love thee, for 
 the glory of thy evcr-bleffed name !'* 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. 15. I vifited the chief o( the 
 DeUv/ares again ; and difcourfed to the Indian* 
 in the afternoon, 1 hoped that God would open 
 their hearts to receive the gofpel,, though many of 
 tljem in the place were fo drunk from day to day^ 
 that I could get no opportunity to fpeak to 
 them, 
 
 Sept» 16, 1 fpent the forenoon with the Indians, 
 endeavouring to inftrudl them from houfe to 
 houfe, and to engage them, to be friendly to 
 Chriftianity. 
 
 Tov/ards night I went to a part of the town 
 where they v^&x^fobcr, and got together near fifty 
 perfons. There was a furprifing attention among 
 them, and they manifefted a defire of being fur- 
 ther inftrufted. There was alfo one or two that 
 fecmed to be touched, who appeared pleafed with 
 fome converfation in private, after 1 had con- 
 cluded my public difcourfe. 
 
 My fpirit was much refrefhed, and I could not 
 but return with my interpreter ^having no other 
 companion in this journey) to my poor hard lodg- 
 ings, rejoicing in hopes that God defigned to fet 
 up his kingdom here, and found uncommon free- 
 dom in addreffing the throne of grace for the ao- 
 "complifliment of fo glorious a work, 
 
 17. I fpent the forenoon in difcourfing to the 
 Indians. About noon I left Shaumoking, (mofl 
 of the Indians going out this day to hunt,) and 
 travelled down the river fouth-weftward. 
 
 19, I vifited an Indian town called Juneauta^ 
 fituate on an illand in Sulquahannah. 1 wa* 
 much difcouraged with the behaviour of the In- 
 dians here, although they appeared friendly when 
 I was with them laft fpring; yet they now feem- 
 ed refolved to retain their Pagan notions, and 
 dprfift in their idolatrous pradices, 20. I 
 
C ^30 3 
 
 20. I vifited thelndians again at Juneauta idand, 
 and found them bufy in making preparaiions 
 for a grcdii facrijice and darice. So I had no oppor- 
 tunity to gel them together in ordcV to difcourfe 
 with them about Chriftianity. My fpirits were 
 much funk, efpccially as I had now no interpret- 
 er but a Pagan, who was as much attached to 
 idolatry as any of them : fo thai I was under the 
 greateft difadvantages imaginable. However, I 
 attempted to difcourfe privately with fomc of 
 them, but without any appearance of fuccefs. 
 
 In the evening they met together, near an hun- 
 dred of them, and danced round a large fire, 
 having prepared ten fat deer for the /acrificct 
 The fat of whofe inwards they burnt in the fire 
 while they weie dancing, and fometimes raifed 
 the flame to a prodigious height, at the fame time 
 yelling and fhouting in fuch a manner, that they 
 might have been heard two miles or more. They 
 continued their facrtd dane all night; after 
 which they eat \.\\% fitjh of ihz Jacrijicc^ and retir- 
 ed each to his lodging. 
 
 I enjoyed little fatisfaflion this night, being' 
 entirely alone on the ifland, (as to any Chriftiaa 
 company,) and in the midfl of this xc^o/^/roztJ revet; 
 and having walked to and fro 'till body and mind 
 were much opprefTed, I at length crept into a 
 little crib made for corn, and there flept on the 
 poles. 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. 21. I fpent the day with the 
 Indians on the ifland. As foon as they were up 
 in the morning, I attempted to inllruft them, and 
 laboured to get them together, but quickly found 
 they had fomething elfe to do ; for they gathered 
 together all their powzvotvs, (or conjurers,) and fet 
 about half a do^en of them to playing their tricks, 
 and afting their frantic poftures, in order to find 
 out why they were fo fickly, numbers of them 
 teing at that time difordered with 2i fever, and 
 bloody flux. In this they were engaged for feve- 
 ral hours, making all the wild diftraftcd motions 
 imaginable: fometimes fingingj fometimes howl- 
 ing J 
 
C '3« 3 
 
 ing ; fometimes extending their hands to the ut- 
 moft fltetch, fpreading all their fingers, and 
 feemed to pufh with them, as if they defigned to 
 fright fomething away, or at leafl keep it off at 
 arms end ; fometimes (troking their faces with 
 their hands, then fpurting water as fine as mill; 
 fometimes fitting flat on the earth, then bowing 
 down their faces to the ground; wringing their 
 fides, as if in pain and anguifh : twifting iheir 
 faces, turning up their eyes, grunting, or puvfing. 
 Their monftrous a6lions feemed to have fome- 
 thing in them peculiarly fuited to raife the devil, 
 if he could be raifed by any thing odd and fright- 
 ful. Some of them were much more- fervent in 
 the bufinefs than others, and feemed to ckant, 
 peep, and mutter with a great degree of warmth 
 and vigour. 1 fat about thirty feet from them, 
 (though undifcovered,) with my Bible in my 
 hand, refolving, if poffible, to fpoil their fpoit, 
 and prevent their receiving any anfwers from the 
 infernal world. They continued their hideous 
 charms for more than three hours, until they had 
 all wearied themfelves out, although they had 
 taken fundry intervals of reft ; and at length 
 broljLe up, I apprehended, without receiving any 
 anfwer. 
 
 After they had done powwowing, I attempted 
 to difcourfe with them about Chriftianity ; but 
 they foon fcattered, and gave no opportunity. A 
 view of thefe things, while I was entirely alone 
 in the wildernefs, deftitute of the fociety of any 
 one that fo much as " named the name of 
 Chrift," greatly funk my fpiiits, fo that I had no 
 heart nor power to make any further atttempts 
 anr:ong them. 
 
 The Indians of this ifland, many of them un- 
 derftand the Englifh language, having formerly 
 lived in Maryland near the white people, but are 
 very vicious, drunken, and profane, although 
 not {o favage as thofe who have lefs ac |uaintance 
 with the EngUfti, Their method of charming or 
 
 conjuring 
 
C '3« J 
 
 conjuring over the fick, feems fomcwhat different 
 from that of other Indians : and the whole of it 
 perhaps is an imitation of what feems, by Naa- 
 man's exprelTion, 2 Kings v. 11. to havft been 
 the cuftom of the ancient Heathens. For it 
 chie{l|r confifts in their *• flriking their hands 
 ever tiie difeafed," repeatedly ftroking of them, 
 *' and calling upon tneir gods,** excepting the 
 fpurting of water, and fome other frantic cere- 
 ir.onies common to the other conjurations. 
 
 When I was in thefe parts in May laft, I had 
 an opportunity of learning many of the cudoms 
 of tiie Indians; I then travelling 130 miles 
 upon the river above the Englifh fettlements ; and 
 liiid in that.journey a view of perfons oifrven or 
 ei^ht fliflin^t tribes, fpeaking fo many different 
 languages. But of all the fights I ever faw among 
 them, none appeared fo near a-kin to what is 
 ufualiy imagined of infernal poiL'erSf as the appear- 
 ance of one who wasa devout and zealous reform* 
 cr, or rather reflorer, of what he fuppofed was 
 the ancient religion of the Indians. He made 
 his appearance in his pontijical garb, which wag 
 a coat of bear /kins, drelled with the hair on, 
 and hanging down to his toes, a pair of bear- 
 Ikin ftockings, and a great zvooden face, paint- 
 ed the one half black, and the other tawny, 
 about the colour of an Indian's fkin, with an ex- 
 travagant mouth, cut very much awry ; the face 
 fdflened to a bear-(kin cap, which was drawn 
 over his head. He advanced toward me with tli« 
 infliurnent in his hdud that he uied for mufic in 
 his idolatrous tuorjliip, which was a dry tortoiftJheU^ 
 Vvith iom3 corn in it, and the neck of it drawn 
 on a piece of wood, which made a very con- 
 venient handle. As he came forward, he beat 
 his tune with the rattle, and danced with all his 
 might, but did not futtcr any part of his body, 
 not lo much as his fingers, to be feen : and no 
 man would have guciied, by his appearance, that 
 he could have been a human creature. When he 
 came near me, 1 could not but fhrink away from 
 
 him 
 
C ^33 3 
 
 him, altliougl' it was then noon day, and 1 knew 
 who it was, his appearance and geflures were fo 
 frightful. He had a houfe confecrated to re- 
 ligious ul'cs, with divers images cut out upon the 
 leveral parts of it ; I went in and found the 
 ground beat almofl as hard as a rock with their 
 frequent dancing. I difcourfed with him about 
 Chriflianity, and fome of my difcourfe he feem- 
 ed to like, but fome of it he difliked entirely. 
 He told me that God had taught him his religion, 
 and that he never would turn from it, but want- 
 ed to find fome that would join heartily with him 
 in it ; for the Indians, he laid. Were grown very 
 degenerate. He had thoughts of leaving all his 
 friends, and travelling abibad, in order to find 
 foT;ne that would join with him ; for he believed 
 God had fome good people fome where, that felt 
 as he did. Ke had not always, he faid, felt as he 
 now did, but had formerly been like the reft of 
 the Indians, until about four or five years ago ; 
 then, he faid, his heart was very much diftrefled, 
 fo that he could not live among the Indians, 'but 
 got away into the woods, and lived alone for fcmie 
 months. At length, he fays, God fhewed him 
 what he fhould do; and fmce that time he had 
 known God, and tried to I'erve him ; and loved 
 all men, be they who they would, lo as he never 
 did before. He treated me with uncommon cour- 
 tefy, and (eemed to be liearty in it. I was told 
 by the Indians, that he oppofed their drinking 
 ilrong liquors with all his 'power; and if' at any 
 time he could not diffuade them from it, he would 
 leave them, and go crying into the "woods. It 
 was manifeft he had a fet of religious notions 
 that he had looked into /or him/elf, and not taken 
 for granted upon bare tradition ; and he relilh^d 
 or difrelilhcd whatever was fookcn of a religious 
 nature, according as it either agreed or difagreed 
 yNiih his Jiandard, While I was difc'ourfing he 
 would fometimes fay,'" Now that I like: fo God 
 has taught me." And fome of his fentiments 
 fcemed very juft. Yet he utterly denied the be- 
 M ing 
 
t ^34 ] 
 
 ing of a d^.vil, and declared there was no fuch a 
 cieature known among the Indians of old times. 
 He likewife told me, that departed fouls all went 
 ibuthward, aud that the difference between the 
 good and bad was this, that the former were ad- 
 mitted into a beautiful town with Jpi ritual walls, 
 or walls agreeable to the nature of fouls; and 
 that the latter would for ever hover round thofe 
 walls, and in vain attempt to get in. He feemed 
 to be Imcere, honeft, and conlcientious in his own 
 zi'aff which was more than I ever faw in any 
 Other Pagan ; and I perceived he was looked upon, 
 and derided amongil mod of the Indians as ^ pre.' 
 c.ift zealot, I muli fay there was fomething in his 
 temper that looked more like true religion than 
 any thing I ever obferved among other Hea- 
 thens. 
 
 Sept. 02. I made fome further attempts to in- 
 flruci the Indians on this ifland, but all to no pur- 
 pofe. They live fo near the v/hite people, that 
 they are always in the way of flrong liquor, as 
 w^cU as the ill examples of nominal Chiiflians; 
 which renders it unfpeakably difficult to treat 
 with them about Chriitianity. 
 
 [Next day he left the Indians, in order to his 
 return to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak 
 (late of body, and under deje6lion of mind, which 
 continued the two fiilt days of his journey.] 
 
 Sept. 26. I was (till much difordcred in body, 
 and able to ride but llowly, I continued my jour- 
 ney however. Near night, I arrived at the Irifh 
 fettlement, about fifteen miles from my own 
 houfe. I was much exercifed with a ferife of my 
 barrencfs : and verily thought, there was no crea* 
 tuie thrft had any true grace, but what was more 
 fpiritual and fruitful than I: I could not think 
 that any of God's children made io poor a hand 
 of living to God as I. 
 
 Forks of Delazt^are. 
 
 Q£lober 1. I difcourfed to the Indians here^ 
 and afterwards invited them to accompany, or to 
 
 follow 
 
I '35 1 
 
 follow me down to Crofweckfang as Toon as their 
 conveniency would admit ; with iiwitation fun- 
 dry of them chearfully accepted. 
 
 Oft. 5. I preached to my people at Crofweek- 
 fung, from John xiv. 1 — 6. The divine pre- 
 fence feemed to be in the alTembly. Numbers 
 were affefted, and fome comforted. 
 
 what a difference is there between thefe and 
 the Indians upon Sufquahannah ! To be with 
 thofe feemed like being baniflied from God, and 
 all his people ; to be with thcfe like being admitt- 
 ed into his family, and to the enjoyment of his 
 prefence ! How great is the change lately made 
 upon thefe Indians, who not many months ago 
 were as though tlefs, and averfe to Chriftianity, as 
 thofe upon Sufquahannah ! 
 
 Lord's-day, 061. 6. I preached in the fore- 
 noon from John x. 7 — 11. There was a con- 
 fiderabie melting among my people ; the young 
 Chrifiians were comforted and flrengthened, and 
 one or two pejfons newly awakened. 
 
 In the afternoon I difcouded on the ftory of 
 the jailor, A£ls xvi. and in the evening expound- 
 ed A6is XX. i<— 12. There was at this time a 
 melting through the whole afifembly. There was 
 fcarce a dry eye to be feen among them, and no- 
 thing but what tended to encourage and excite a 
 Chrillian ardour and fpiiit of devotion. 
 
 After public fervice I withdrew, and the In- 
 dians continued praying among themfelves for 
 near two hours together ; which exercifcs appear- 
 ed to be attended with a bleffed influence from on 
 high. 
 
 1 could not but earneftly wifh that numbers of 
 God's people had been prefent at this feafon to 
 fee and hear thefe things which I am fare mull 
 refrefh the heart of every true lover of Zion. 
 To fee thofe, who very lately were favage Pagans 
 and idolaters, '* having no hope, and without 
 God in the world," now filled wiih a lenfe of <li- 
 vine love and grace, and worfhipping the " Fa- 
 ther in fpirit ana iu truth," was not a little affed- 
 
 M a ing j 
 
C '36 ] 
 
 ing; and efpecially to fee them fo tender an^ 
 humble, as well as lively, fervent, and devout, 
 
 Ocl. 7. Being called by the church and peo- 
 ple of Eaft-Hampton on Long-Ifland, as a member 
 of a council, to affift and advife in affairs of dif- 
 ficulty in that church, I fat out on my journey 
 this morning, before it was well light, and travel- 
 led to Elifabeth-Town. 
 
 [He profecuted his journey with the other 
 mini iters that were fent for; and did not return 
 till Oaober 24.] 
 
 0£l. 24, 1 difcourfed from John iv. 13, 14. 
 There was a great attention, an unaffected melt- 
 ing in the affembly, — It is furprizing to fee how 
 eager they are of hearing the word of God. I 
 have often thought they would chearfully attend 
 divine worfhip twenty-four hours together. 
 
 25. I difcourfed to my people on the refuxreSlion, 
 from Luke xx. 27—36. And when 1 came to 
 mention the bleffednefs the good Ihall enjoy at 
 that feafon ; their final freedom from death, and 
 forrow ; their equality to the angels in regard oF 
 their nearnefs to, and enjoyment of Chrift ; and 
 their being the children oJGod^ openly acknowledg- 
 ed by him as fuch ; I fay, when I mentioned 
 thefe things, numbers of them were much affeft- 
 ed, and melted with a view of this blefled ftate, 
 
 26. Being called to afifift in the adminiftration 
 of the Lord's fupper, in a neighbouring congrega- 
 tion, I invited my people to go with mjs, who 
 embraced the opportunity chearfully, and attend- 
 ed the diicourfes of that Solemnity with diligence 
 and affeftion, moft of them now undcrflanding 
 fomething of the Englifh language. 
 
 Lord's-day, Oct. 27. While I was preaching 
 to a vaft affembly of people abroad, who appear- 
 ed generally eafy and fecure enough, there was 
 one Indian woman, a ftranger, who never heard 
 me preach before, nor ever regarded any thing 
 about religion, (being now perfuaded by fome of 
 her friends to come, though much againfl her 
 v/illi) was feized with a preCTing concern for her 
 
 foul. 
 
t ^37 J 
 
 foul, and Toon after exprefTed a great defire gf>ing 
 home, (more than forty miles diltant,) to call her ' 
 hufband, that he alfo might have a concern for 
 his foul. Some other of the Indians alfo appear- 
 ed to be affefted with divine truths this day. 
 
 The pious people of the Englifti (numbers of 
 whom I had opportunity to converfe with) feem- 
 ed refrefhed with feeing the Indians worfliip God 
 in that devout and folemn manner, and could not 
 but glorify God, faying, " Then hath God alfo to 
 the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.** 
 
 061:. 28. I difcoupfed from Matth. xxii. 1 — 
 13. I was enabled to adapt my difcourfe to the 
 capacities of my people, " I know not how," in 
 a plain, cafy, and familiar manner, beyond all 
 that I could have done by the utmoft ftudy : and 
 this, with as much freedom, as if I had been 
 addreflTing a common audience, who had been 
 inftrufted in Chriftianity all their days. 
 
 The word of God at this time feemed to fall 
 upon ths affembly with a divine power, efpecially 
 toward the clofe of my difcourfe : there was both 
 a fweet melting and bitter mourning in the au- 
 dience — The Chridians were refrefhed and com- 
 forted, conviftions revived in others, and fundry 
 perfons newly awakened who had never been 
 with us before; and fo much of the divine pre- 
 Icnce appeared in the afiTembly, that it feemed, 
 «« this was no other than the gate of heaven." All 
 that had any relifti of divine things were even 
 con drained to fay, «' Lord, it is good for us to b? 
 here!" If ever there was among my people an 
 
 appearance of the New Jerufalem " as a bride 
 
 adorned for her hufband," there was at this time. 
 And fo agreeable was the entertainmentj that I 
 could fcarce tell how to leave the place. 
 
 Lord's-day, Nov. 3. I baptized fourteen In- 
 dians, fix adults and eight children : one of thefe 
 was nzdiv four fcore years of age, and I have reaion. 
 to hope God has brought her home to himfelf : 
 two of the others were men oi fifty years old. who 
 had been fingular, even among the Indians, for 
 M 3 their 
 
C »38 ] 
 
 their wickednels ; one of them had been a murderer^ 
 and both notorious drunkards, as well as excef- 
 five quarrelfome ; but now. I cannot but hope 
 both are really changed. I deferred their baptifm 
 for many weeks, that I might have more oppor- 
 tunities to obferve the fruits of thofe impreflions 
 they had been under. Indeed there was not one 
 of the adults but had given me grounds to hope, 
 that God had wrought a good work in their 
 hearts. 
 
 Nov. 4. There were fundry of the perfons 
 lately come from remoter places, that were now 
 brought under deep concern for their fouls ; par- 
 ticularly one, who not long (ince came half drunk, 
 and railed on us, and attempted to difturb us 
 while engaged in divine worfhip, was fo diftref- 
 ied, that fiie feemed unable to get any eafe with- 
 out an intereft in Chrift. There were many tears 
 and afleftionate groans in the affembly in general, 
 ibme weeping for themfelves, others for their 
 friends. And tho* perfons are doubtlefs much 
 eafier affefted now than they were in the begin- 
 ning, to this religious concern, when tears and 
 cries for their fouls were things unheard of 
 among them ; yet, their affeftion in general ap- 
 peared genuine and unfeigned 's and efpecially in 
 thofe newly awakened. 
 
 I baptized a child this day, and perceived fe- 
 veral of the baptized perfons affefted, as being 
 thereby minded of their own folemn engage- 
 ments. 
 
 I have now \t2iyii\ztdforty'feven perfons of the 
 Indians, twenty-three adults, and twenty-four 
 children ; thirty-five of them belonging to thefe 
 parts, and the reft to the forks of Delaware ; they 
 have none of them as yet been a difgrace to their 
 profelhon by any unbecoming behaviour. 
 
 Before 1 proceed, I would make a few remarks. 
 
 And iji, It is remarkable that God began this 
 work among the Indians at a time when 1 had 
 the l^ft profpeft of feeing a work of grace among 
 
 them» 
 
C *89 1 
 
 them. My bodily ftrength being then much wafled 
 by a tedious journey to Safquahannah, my mind 
 exceedingly depreffed with a viewof the unfeafon- 
 ablenefs of my labours; had little reafon to hope 
 that God had made me inftrumental of the faving 
 converfion of any of the Indians, whence I was 
 ready to look upon myfelf as a burden to the 
 fociety that employed me in this bufinefs. I 
 began to entertain ferious thoughts of giving up 
 my mijfion; and almoft refolved I would do fo, at 
 the conclufion of the prefent year, if I had then 
 no better profpeft in my work than I had hitherto 
 had. 
 
 In this frame of mind I firft vifited thefe In- 
 dians at Crofweekfung, apprehending it was my 
 duty to make fome attempts for their converfion, 
 though I cannot fay, I had any hope of fuccefs, 
 my fpirits were now fo extremely funk. 
 
 And yet this was the very feafon that God faw 
 fit to begin this glorious work in ! And thus he 
 «« ordained ftrength out of weaknefs,'* by making 
 bare his almighty arm at a time when all hopes and 
 human probabilities molt evidently failed.— 
 «« Whence I learn, that it is ^ood to follow the 
 path of duty, though in the midft of darknefs and 
 aifcouragement." 
 
 2^/)', It is remarkable how God, in a manner 
 almofl unaccountable, called thefe Indians together 
 to be inflrufted ; and how he feized their minds 
 with the moft folemn concern as faft as they came 
 to the place where his word was preached. 
 When I firft came into thefe parts, I found not 
 one man at the place I vifited, but only four 
 women and a few children : but before I had been 
 here many days, they gathered from all quarters, 
 fome from more than twenty miles diftant ; and 
 when I made them a fecond vifit, fome came more 
 than forty miles to hear me. 
 
 And many came without any intelligence of 
 what was going on here, and conlequently 
 without any defign, fo much as to gratify their 
 curiofity 5 io that it feemed as if God had fum- 
 
 moned 
 
r HO ] 
 
 ttioned them together from all quarters to deliver 
 his meffage to them. 
 
 Nor is it lefs furprifing that they were one 
 after another affefted with a folemn concern for 
 their fouls, almoft as foon as they came upon 
 the fpot where divine truths were taught them. 
 I could not but think, their coming to this place 
 "was like Saul and his meiTengers coming among 
 the prophets ; they no fooner came but they pro- 
 Tjhefied : and thefe were almolt as foon affefted 
 Avith a fenfe of their fin and mifery, and with an 
 earneil concern for deliverance, as they made 
 their appearance in our aflembly. After this 
 ■work of ^rczc^ began with power among them, it 
 was common for ftrangers of the Indians, before 
 they had been with us one day, to be deeply 
 convinced of their fin and mifery, and to inquire 
 with great folicitude, « What they {hould do to 
 befaved?'' 
 
 ^dly. It is likewife remarkable how God pre- 
 ferved thefe poor ignorant Indians from being 
 prejudiced againll me, and the truths I taught 
 them. There were many attempts made by fome ' 
 of the zuhite people to prejudice them again (I, or 
 fright them from Chriftianity, They lometimcs 
 told them, the Indians were well enough already: 
 that there was no need of all this noife about 
 Chridianity : — that if they were Chriftians, they 
 would be in no better, no fafer, or happier (late, 
 than they were already in. 
 
 Sometimes they told them, that I was a knave, 
 a deceiver : that I daily taught them lies, and 
 had no other defign but to impofe upon them. 
 
 And when none of thefe fuggeiiions would 
 avail, they told the Indians, «' My defign was to 
 gather together as large a body of them as I pofTi- 
 bly could, and then fell them to England for 
 fldves.'* Nothing could be more likely to 
 terrify the Indians, they being naturally of 
 a jealous difpofition, and the mod averfe to 
 a Hate of fervitude perhaps of any people 
 living, 
 
 But 
 
[ 141 ] 
 
 But all thefe infinuations (through divine good- 
 nefs) conltantly turned againd the authors of them, 
 and only fcrved to engage the affe6i;ions of the 
 Indians more firmly to me : for they could not 
 but obferve, that the ^jetfons who endeavoured 
 to imbittcr their minds againil me, were alto- 
 gether unconcerned about their own fouls ; and 
 not only fo, but vicious and profane; and thence 
 could not but argue, that if they had no concern 
 for their own, it was not likely they fhould have 
 for the fouls of others. 
 
 It feems yet the more wonderful that the In- 
 dians were preferved from once hearkening to 
 thefe fuggeftions, as I was an utter ftranger 
 among them, and could give them no affurance 
 of my fincere affeftion, by any thing that was 
 pafl :— while the perfons that infinuated thefe 
 things were their old acquaintance, who had had 
 frequent opportunities of gratifying them with 
 llrong drink, and confequently had the greatcft 
 intereftin their affe6lions. 
 
 ^thly, Nor is it lefs wonderful how God was 
 pleafed to provide a reincdy for my want of fkill in 
 the Indian language, by remarkably fitting my 
 interpreter for, and afTifllng him in the perform- 
 ance of his work. It might be fuppofed I rau(l 
 labour under a vaft dif^dvantage in addrefling the 
 Indians by an interpreter, and that divine truths 
 would unavoidably lofe much of their energy, by 
 coming to the audience from a fecond hand. But 
 although this hasoftcn been the cafe in times pad, 
 when any interpreter had lit^^e fenfe of divine 
 things, yet now it is quite otherwile. I cannot 
 think my addrelfes to the Indians ordinarily fince 
 the beginning of this feafon of grace, have lofl 
 any thing of the power wilh which they were 
 made, unlefs it were fometimes for want of per- 
 tinent exprelhons in the Indian language; which 
 difEculty could not have been much redreCfed by 
 my perfonal acquaintance with it. My interpre- 
 ter had before gained fome good degree of doC" 
 trinal knowledge, whereby he was capable of un« 
 derllanding and communicating the meaning of 
 
 my 
 
t 142 ] 
 
 my dlfcourfes, and ihat without being obliged to 
 interpret word for word. He had likewife an 
 experimental •dcqua.inta.nce with divine things ; and 
 it pleiifed God at this feafon to infpire his mind 
 with longing delires for the converfion of the In- 
 dians, and to give him admirable zeal and ferven- 
 cy in addreffing them. And it is remarkable that 
 when I was favoured with znyfpecial ajijtance, 
 and enabled to fpeak with more than common 
 j-reedom, fervency i and ^(jwer, he was ufually af- 
 fefted in the lame manner almolt inftantly, and 
 feemed at once quickened and enabled to fpeak 
 in the fame pathetic language, and under the fame 
 influence that I did. And a furprifing energy 
 often accompanied the word at fuch feafons ; fo 
 that the face of the whole affembly would be ap- 
 parently changed almoft in an inftant, and tears 
 and fobs became common among them. 
 
 He likewife took pains day and night to re« 
 peat and inculcate upon thje minds of the Indians 
 the truths I taught them daily ; and this not from 
 fpiritual pride, but from^ a fpirit of faithfulnefs, 
 and an honefl concern for their fouls. 
 
 And thus God has manifefled that, without be- 
 ftowing on me the gift of tongues^ he could find a 
 way wherein I might be eiletlually enabled to 
 convey the truths of his glorious gofpel to the 
 minds of thefe poor benigMed Pagans. 
 
 Laftly^ The tffids of this work have been very 
 remarkable. 1 doubt not but that many of thefe 
 people have gained more knowledge of divine 
 truths, fjnce June laft, than could have been in- 
 itillcd into their minds by themofl diligent ufe of 
 proper means for whole years together, without 
 fuch a divine influence. Their Pagan notions and 
 idolatrous praflices feem to be entirely abandoned. 
 They are regularly difpoi'ed in the aftairs of raar' 
 riage: an inflance whereof 1 have given in my 
 Journal of Augult 14. They feem generally 
 divorced from drunk enyiefs, their darling vice, and 
 the " fin that eafily befets them :'* fo that I do 
 not know of more than two or three who have 
 ■ been my Heady hearers, that have drank tp excefs 
 
 iinge 
 
C M3 ] 
 
 fince 1 firfl: vifited them, although before it was 
 common for fome or other of them to be drunk al- 
 mo ft every day ; and fome of them fee.n now tOr 
 fear this fin in particular more than death itfclf.- 
 A principle of lionelty and juflicc appears in. 
 many of them, and they feem concerned to dif- 
 charge their olddebts, which they have neglofted, 
 and, perhaps, fcarce thought of for years paft» 
 Their manner of living is much more decent and 
 comfortable than formerly. Love reigns amorg 
 them efpecially thofe who have expeiienccd a 
 real change : and 1 never faw any appearance of 
 bitternejs or ctnforioufnffs, nor any difpofition to 
 <«eilcem themfelves better than otheri." 
 
 As their forrows under convi6lions have been 
 great and pre (Ting, fo many of them have fince 
 appeared to " rejoice with joy unfpcakable.'"' 
 And yet their coniolations do not incline them to 
 lightnefs ; but are attended with JoUmnity^ and 
 with iiars, and brokennefs of heart. And in 
 this refpedl iome of them have been furprized 
 at themfelves; and have with concern obferved to 
 me, that ** when their hearts have been glad," 
 «« they could not help crying for all." 
 
 Upon the whole, here are all the evidences of 
 a remarkable work of grace, that can reafoiiably 
 be looked for. May the great Author maintain 
 and promote the lame A erf , and propagate it tvtry 
 zvhere, till *' the whole earth be filled with his 
 glory !" 
 
 1 have now rode more than three thoufand 
 miles fince the beginning of March lad : and al- 
 moil the whole of it has been in my own bufinefs 
 as a mijjionary^ upon the defign of propagating 
 Chrijlian knowledge among the Indians, 1 have 
 taken pains to look out for a colleague, or compa- 
 nion^ to travel with me : but have not as yet 
 found any peifon qualified and difpofed for this 
 good work. 
 
 As thefe poor Pagans flood in need of having 
 " line upon line, and precept upon precept," in 
 order to their being grounded in the principles 
 of Chriftianity ; io 1 preached «' publicly, and 
 
 ■ 'taught 
 
C 144 ] 
 
 tauglit from lioufe to houfe," almofl every day 
 for whole weeks together. And my public difcourfes 
 did not then make up the one half of my work, 
 while there were fo many conftantly coming to 
 me with that important inquiry, <« What muft 
 we do to be faved ?'* And yet I can fay, to the 
 praife of God, that the fuccefs with which my' 
 labours were crowned, unlpeakably more than 
 compenfated for the labour itfelf, and was like- 
 wife a great means of carrying me through the 
 bufinefs and fatigues, which my nature would 
 have funk under, without fuch an encouraging 
 profpeft. But although this fuccefs has afforded 
 matter of fupport, comfort, and thankfulnefs; yet 
 in this feafon I have found great need of aflif- 
 tance in my work, and have been much oppreffed 
 for want of one to bear c pari of my labours and 
 hardjhips, ■ 
 
 «* May the Lord of the harvefl fend forth other 
 labourers into this part of his harveft, that thofe 
 who fit in darknefs may fee great light, and that 
 the whole earth may be filled with the knowledge 
 Ofhimfelt!" 
 
 [Nov. 5. He left the Indians, and fpentthe 
 remaining part of this week in travelling to 
 various parts of New-Jerfey, in order to get a 
 collegian for the ufe of the Indians, and to obtain 
 ^fchool majter to inftruft them.] 
 
 Lord's-day, Nov. 10. [At Elifabeth-Town] 
 I preached in the forenoon from 2 Cor. v. 20. 
 (^od was pleafed to give mc freedom and fervency : 
 and the prefence of God feemed to be in the aflem- 
 bly ; numbers were affefted, and there were many 
 tears among them. In the afternoon, I preached 
 from Luke xiv. 22. " Yet there is room." I was 
 favoured with divine aflillance in the firft prayer, 
 and poured out my foul to God with a filial 
 temper : the living God alfo affiflcd me in the 
 fermon, 
 
 Nov. 15. I could not crofs the ferry by reafon 
 of the violence of the wind ; nor could I enjoy 
 any place of retirement at the fcrry-houfe. Yet 
 God gave me fome fatisfaftion in meditation, and 
 
 lifting 
 
r i45 ]^ 
 
 lifting up my heart to him in the midft of com- 
 pany. And although fome were drinking and 
 talking profanely; yet my mind was calm and 
 compofed. And I could not but blefs God, that 
 I was not like to fpend an eternity in fuch com- 
 pany. 
 
 Nov. 16. I crofled the ferry about ten o'clock ^ 
 arrived at Elifabeth-Town near night. I was iri 
 a compofed frame of mind, and felt an entire re- 
 fignation with refpe£k to a lofs I had lately fuf- 
 tained, in having my horfe ftolen from me the 
 laft Wednefday night. 
 
 Nov. 22, I rode to Mr, Tennent's, and from 
 thence to Crofweekfung. Oh that I could fill up 
 all my time, whether in the houfc or by the way, 
 for God! I was enabled this day to give up my 
 foul to God^ and put all my concerns into his 
 hands ; and found real confolation in the thought 
 of being entirely at his difpofal, having no will 
 or interefl: of my own. I have received my at, 
 from God : Oh that I could return my all to him ! 
 Surely God is worthy of my highefl: affeftion, 
 and mod devout adoration : he is infinitely 
 worthy, that I fhould make him my laft end, and 
 live for ever to him : Oh that I might never 
 more, in any one inflance, live tomyfelf! 
 
 Lord's-day, Nov. 24. I preached from the 
 ftory of Zaccheus, When I infilled upon the 
 fa Iv ation thsit comes to the /inner, upon his becom- 
 ing a true believer, the word feemed to be attend- 
 ed with divine power. Numbers were much af' 
 fefted, former conviftions were revived : one o. 
 two perfons newly awakened ; and a mod afi^ec* 
 tionate engagement in divine fervice appeared 
 among them univerfally. 
 
 Nov. 26. I v/as favoured with freedom and 
 fervency in my dlfcourfe. IVUny wept and fobbed 
 affeftionately, and fcarce any appeared uncon- 
 cerned in the whole alfemhly. The influence 
 that feized the audience appeared gentle, and yet 
 deeply affe6lcd the heart. It excited in the per- 
 fons under convidlions of their loll ftaie, heavy 
 groans and fears : and in others who had oblain- 
 N ed 
 
[ 146 J 
 
 €d comfort, a fwcet and humble melting. It feemed 
 like the gentle but fteady (howeis that eiFeftually 
 water the earth. 
 
 The perfons lately awakened, were deeply dif- 
 trelTed, and appeared earneflly folicitous to 
 obtain an intereft in Chrift : and fomeofthem, 
 in anguilh of fpirit, faid, " They knew not what 
 to do, nor how to get their wicked hearts 
 changed." 
 
 Nov. 28. After public fervice was over, I 
 afked one of the Indians who wept mofl: affec- 
 tionately, " What (he now wanted ?" She re- 
 plied, " Oh to be with Chrift ! fhe did not know 
 how to ftay." This was a bleffed refrefhing feafon 
 to the religious people in general. The Lord 
 Jefus Chrift feemed to manifeft his divine glory 
 to them, as when transjigurtd before his difciples. 
 And they were ready, univerfally, to fay, " Lord, 
 it is good for us to be here." 
 
 The influence of God's word was not conjined 
 to thofe who had given evidences of being truly 
 gracious, though I calculated my difcourfe for, 
 and direfted it chiejly to fuch : but it appeared to 
 be a feafon of divinepower in the whole aflembly ; 
 fo that moft were, in fome meafure affefted. And 
 one aged man in particular, lately awakened, was 
 now brought under deep and prefling concern, 
 iind was earneftly inquihlive *'how he might find 
 Jefus Chrift.'* God feems ftill to vouchfafe the 
 influence of his bleffed Spirit, in all our meetings 
 for divine worfhip. 
 
 Nov. 30. I explained the ftory of the rich 
 man and Lazarus, Luke xvi. ly. The word 
 made powerful impreflfions upon many, efpecially 
 while I difcourfed of the bieffednefs of " Lazarus 
 in Abraham's bofom." This I could perceive, 
 affefted them much more than what I fpoke of 
 the rich man*s torments. And thus it h<^s been 
 ufually with them. They have appe?.red much 
 more afFcfted with ih(^ comfortable ihdn the dreadful 
 truths of God's word. And that wliich has 
 diilrcffed many of them under convictions, is, 
 that they wanted, and could uot obtain the happi- 
 
C M7 ] 
 
 ftcfs of the godly ; they have often appeared to be 
 more affcded with this, than with the terrors of 
 hell. But whatever be the means of their awaken- 
 ing, it is plain, numbers are made deeply ftnjihlt 
 of their fin and mifery, the wickednefs of their 
 own hearts, their utter inabiUity to help themfel ves, 
 or come to Chrifl for help, without divine aflift- 
 ance. 
 
 Lord's-day, Dee. i. I gave them particular 
 cautions and direftions relating to their conduft 
 in divers refpe6ls. And preffed them to watchful- 
 ntfs in all their deportment, feeing they were en- 
 compafled with thofe that " waited for their 
 halting," and \^ho flood ready to draw thetn into 
 temptations of every kind, and then to expole re- 
 ligion on their account. 
 
 Dec. 9. I fpent rngfl of the day in procuring 
 provifionsj in order to my fetting up houfe-keep- 
 ing among the Indians. 
 
 Dec, 10, I was engaged in the fame bufinefs as- 
 yeflerday. Towards night I got into my own, 
 houfe.* 
 
 Dec. 12. I preached from the parable of the 
 ten virgins. The divine power feemed to attend 
 this difcourfe, in which 1 was favoured with wn- 
 common freedom and plainnefs of addrefs, and en- 
 abled to open divine tiruths, in a manner beyond 
 my/elf. 
 
 There appeared in many an afFe£lionate concern 
 for their fouls: And it was refrefhing to fee thenx 
 melted into tears ; fome with difenfe of divine love,. 
 V and fome for njant of it. 
 
 Lord's-day, Dec. 15. I preached to the In-; 
 dians from Luke xiii. 24, 28. Divine truths fell 
 with weight upon the audience. Near night L 
 difcourfed.to them again from Matth, xxv. 31. to 
 46. At which feafon alfo, the word appeared to 
 be accompanied with divine influence, and made 
 powerful i-mpreflTions upon t|ie affembly in general, 
 as well as upon divers pcrfons in a very particu- 
 
 * This is the third houfe that he bulk to dwell in by himfclf 
 among the Indians : the firft at Kaunaumeek in the county of Al- 
 bany : the fecond at the forks of Delaware ia Pejifylvania ; and 
 »ovr tbi* at Csofwcekfung in New-Jerfey. 
 
 N z Uy 
 
I 148 ] 
 
 )ar manner. This was an amazing feafon of 
 grace! The word of the Lord, " was quick 
 and powerful, (harper than a two-edged fword.** 
 The aflembly was deeply wrought upon ; and the 
 impreflions made by the word of God appeared 
 folid and rational, worthy of the folemn truths 
 by means of whicii they were produced, -^ 
 
 O how did the hearts of the hearers feem to 
 bow under the weight of divine truth ! And how 
 evident did it now appear that they received and 
 felt them, " not as the word of man, but as the 
 word of God!" 
 
 Titc, 16. There was much affeaion and con- 
 cern in the affembly ; efpecially one woman ap- 
 peared in great diflrefs. She was brought to fuch 
 an agony in feeking after Chrift, that the fweat 
 ran off her face for a confiderable time, although 
 the evening was very cold ; and her bitter cries 
 were the mofl afFefting indication of the inward 
 anguifh of her heart, 
 
 Dec. 21. My people having now attained to 
 2 confiderable degree of knowledge in the princi- 
 ples of Chriflianity, I thought it proper to fet up 
 a catechetical ItBure : and this evening attempted 
 loirething in that form ; propofing queflions to 
 them, receiving their anfwers, and then explain- 
 irfr as appeared proper upon each quellion. After 
 which 1 endeavoured to make fome praftical im- 
 provement of the whole.— They were able readily 
 i*nd ratiovally to anfwer many important queflions: 
 lo thfct I found their knowledge to exceed my 
 expectations. In the improvement of my dif- 
 courfe, when I came to open the blelTednefs of 
 thofe who have fo great and glorious a God, as 
 had been fpoken of, *' for their everlafling friend 
 and portion," lundry were much afFefted ; and 
 efpecially when I exhorted them " to be re- 
 conciled to God," through his dear Son, and 
 thus to fecure an interefl in his everlafling favour* 
 
 Lord's-day, Dec. 22. I dilcourfed upon theflory 
 of the young mari in the gofpel, Matth. ix. 16. 
 —-God made it a feafonable word, to fome fouls. 
 
 After 
 
C 249 ;i 
 
 After my labours with the Indians, I fpcnd 
 fome time in writing; and was much wearies 
 with the labours of the day. I am confciouy 
 that my labours are as great and conftant as me 
 nature will bear, and that ordinarily I go to tht 
 extent of my (Irength ; fo that I do all I can ; but 
 the mifery is, I do not labour with that heavenly 
 temper, that fmglc eye to the glory of God, that 
 1 long for. 
 
 There were fundry perfons of the Indians new- 
 ly come here, who had frequently lived among 
 Quakers; and being more civilized than the 
 generality of the Indians, they had imbibed fome 
 of the Quakers principles, efpecially this, That 
 if men would but live according to the diftates of 
 their own confciences, (or the Light zoithin,) there 
 is no doubt of their falvation. Thefe perfons I 
 found much worfe to deal with than thofe who are 
 wholly under Pagan darknefs, who make no pre' 
 fences to knowledge in Chriftiaaity, nor have 
 Sinyf elf -righteous foundation to (land upon. How- 
 ever, they all, except one, appeared now con- 
 vinced, that this was not fufficient to falvation ;. 
 ftnce Chrifl himfelf had declared it fo in the cafe . 
 of the young man. And feemcd in fome meafure- 
 concerned to obtain that change of heart which I 
 had been labouring to (hew them the neceflity of.. 
 
 This was likewife a. [^nfon of comfori to fome 
 fouls, and in particular to one, who never before 
 obtained any fettled comfort. When I c-ime to^ 
 enquire of her, hovv fhe got relief from the 
 diflrelfes fhe had lately been under, fhe anfwered 
 in broken Englifh,* " Me try, me try, fave my- 
 felf, lall my llrength be all gone, (meaning her 
 ability to fave hcrfelf,) could not me fcir bit fur- 
 ther. Den lafl;, me forced let Jefus Chrifl alone, 
 fend me hell if he pleafe," I faid, But you was 
 not willing to go to hell, was you ? She replied, + 
 
 * In proper Englilh thus, «' I tried and tried to fave myftlfV 
 till at laft my ftrength was all gone, aud I could not itir any iur- 
 ther. Then at lall I was forced to let Jefus Chriit aione lo Isiid 
 me to hell if he pleafed." 
 
 + In plain Englifh thus, I could not help it. My heart 
 
 ■would be VricKed for ail 1 could do. I could not make it good.'* 
 
 N 3 *^ Could 
 
«< CouW not me help it. My heart he would 
 >vicked for all. Could not me make him good :" 
 1 afked her, How Ihe got out of this cafe ?" Ihe 
 anfwered ftill in the fame broken languagc,J 
 •* By, by, my heart be grad defperately." I afk- 
 ed her why her heart was glad? She replied, 
 •< Grad ray heart Jefus Chrift do what you pleafe 
 with me. Den me tink, grad my heart Jefus 
 Chrift fend me to hell. Did not me care where 
 he put me, me love him for all.** 
 
 And (he could not readily be convinced, but 
 that Ihe was willing to go to hell, if Chrift was 
 pleafed to fend her there. Though the truth 
 evidently was, her will was fo (wallowed up in 
 the divine will, that fhe could not frame any hell 
 in her imagination that would be dreadful, pro- 
 vided it was the will of God to fend her to it# 
 
 Dec. 25. The Indians having been ufed upon 
 Chriftmas-days, to drink and revel among the 
 zuAtVtf people, I thought proper to call them 
 together, and difcourfe to them upon divine 
 things ; which I accordingly did from the parable 
 of the barren fig-tree, Luke xiii. 6. The power 
 of God appeared in the affembly, by awakening 
 *feveral flupid creatures, that were fcarce ever 
 mpved wiih any concern before. The impreftions 
 made upon the alTembly in general, feemed not 
 Jvperjiciali but deep and heart-affefting. O how 
 ready did they appear to comply with every thing 
 they were convinced was their duty ! God was 
 in the midft of us of a truth, bowing and melting 
 ilubborn hearts! How many tears and fobs were 
 then %o be ieen and heard among us ! Wliat live- 
 linefs and ftritl attention ! What eagernefs and 
 intenfenefs of mind ! They leemed to watch and 
 wait for the dropping of God's word, as the 
 thirfty earth for the *' former and latter rain," 
 
 X ** By and by my heart was exceeding glad. My heart 
 
 was glad thot Jefus Chrill would do with me what he pleafed. 
 Then I thought my heart would be glad although Chrift fhould 
 lend me to hell, I did not care wnere he put tnc, 1 ihould love 
 him lor ali J i, c do what he would with me." 
 
 Dec. 
 
r ts« J 
 
 Pec. 26. This evening I was vifited by ^ 
 pcrfon under great fpiritual exercife. She was 9, 
 woman of more ihdn four -f core years old, and ap- 
 peared to be much broken and very childijh through 
 aae, fo that it feemed impoilible for man to inftil 
 into hei; mind any notions of divine things.— .She 
 was le4 t>y the hand into my houfe, and appeared 
 in extreme anguiQi. I afked, what ailed her?. 
 She anfwered, " That her heart was didreffed, 
 and (he feared (he fhould never find Chrift." I 
 afked, when fhe began to be concerned? She 
 anfwered to this effedl. That fhe had heard me 
 preach many times, but never " felt it in her 
 heart" 'till the lafl Sabbath ; and then it came, fhe 
 faid, " all one as if a needle had been thruft into 
 her heart;'' fmce which time fhe had no reft day 
 or night. She added, that on the evening before 
 Chrillmas, a number of Indians being together at 
 the houfe where (he was, and difcourfing about 
 Chrijlf their talk pricked her heart, fo that flie 
 could not fit up, but fell down on her bed ; at 
 which time fie went away i (as fhe exprelfed it) and 
 felt as if fhe dreamed, and yet is confident fhe did 
 not dream. When fhe was thus gone, fhe faw 
 two paths, one appeared very broad and crooked ; 
 and that turned to the left hand. The other ap- 
 peared ftrait and very narrow; and that went up 
 the hill to the right hand. She travelled, fhe 
 faid, for fome time up the narrow right-hand path^ 
 'till at length fomething feemed to obftru^.t her 
 journey. She fometimes called it darknefs, and 
 fometimes feemed to compare it to a block or bar*. 
 She then remembered, ihe fays, what fhe had 
 heard me fay about " ftriving to enter in at the 
 Ilrait gate," (although fhe took little notice of it 
 at the time) and thought ihe would climb over 
 this bar. But juft as fhe was thinking of this, fhe 
 came back again, as fhe termed it, meaning that 
 fhe came to heifelf ; whereupon her foul was ex- 
 tremely diflrelTed, apprehc-nding fhe had now 
 turned back and forfaken Chrill,' and that there 
 was therefore no hope of mercy for her. 
 
 1 then propofed to her the provilion made in 
 the ^ofpeifor the falvatioji of finners^ and the 
 
 ability 
 
r >5« J 
 
 ability and willingnefs of Chrift « to fave to thfr 
 uttcrmoft all (old as well as young) " that come 
 to him.** To which ftie feemed to give a hearty 
 affent. But inftantly replied, ** Ay, but I can- 
 not come; my wicked heart will not come to 
 Chrift; T do not now how to come,'* And this 
 Iho {'poke in arguifh of ipirit, ftriking her breaft, 
 with tears in her eyes, and with fuch earnejlnefs 
 in her looks as was indeed afFefting. 
 
 She feems to be really convinced of her fin and 
 mifcry, and her need of a change of heart : and 
 her concern is abiding and conltant. So that 
 nothing appears but thaX this exercife may have 
 a faving iffue. And indeed there is ground to 
 hope for it, feeing (he is felicitous to obtain an 
 intereftin Chrift, that her heart, (as fhe expreffes 
 it) prays day and night. 
 
 Dec. 28. I dilco jrled to my people in the 
 catechetical method I lately entered upon. And 
 in the improvement of my difcourfe, wherein I 
 was comparing man's prifevt with his primitive 
 ftate ; and prefling finners to take a view of their 
 deplorable circumitances without Chrift ; as alfo 
 to ftrive that they may obiain an intereft in him ; 
 the Lord granted a remarkable influence of his 
 blefted Spirit, and theie was a great concern in 
 the alTembiy : many were malted into tears, and 
 the impreilions mdde upon them feemed deep and 
 heart affeftjng. And in particular, there were 
 two or three perfons who appeared to be reduced 
 almoft to extremity ; being convinced of the im- 
 poifibility ol helping themfelves, or mending their 
 own hearts ; and- upon the point of<^iving up all 
 hope in thtmfelvts^ and venturing upon Chrift as, 
 naked, helpiefs, and undone. 
 
 Lord's-day, Jec. 29 I preached from John 
 ii^i. 1-— 5. A number of white people were pre- 
 fent, as is ufual upon the Sabbath. The difcourfe 
 feemed to ht.ve it. JiUnl, but deep and piercing in- 
 fi^uerice upon the audience. Many wept and 
 fobbed affc6tiondteiy. And there were fome tears 
 among the while people, as well as the Indians. 
 Some could not refrain from crying out. But the 
 
 imp rc-fliona- 
 
C 153 } 
 
 imprefTions made upon their hearts, appeared 
 chiefly by the extraordinary earneflnel's of their 
 attention, and their heavy fighs and tears. 
 
 After public worlhip was over, I went to my 
 houfe, propofing to preach again after a fhort 
 intermiffion. But they foon came in one after 
 another, with tears in their eyes, to know ** what 
 they {hould do to be fav^d.'* And the divine 
 Spirit in fuch a manner, fet home upon their 
 hearts what I fpoke to them, that the houfe was 
 loon filled with cries and groans. They all 
 flocked together upon this occafion, and thofe 
 whom I had reafon to think in a Chriftlefs ftate^ 
 were almoft univerfally feized with concern for 
 their fouls. 
 
 It was an amazing feafon oi power among them, 
 and feemed as if God had " bowed the heavens 
 and comedown." So aftonifhingly prevalent was, 
 the operation upon old as well as young, that it 
 feemed as if God was about to convert all the loorldm 
 And I was ready to think then, that I ftiould 
 never again defpair of the converfion of any man 
 or woman living. 
 
 It is impoflTible to give a jufl defcription of the 
 appearance of things at this feafon, A number 
 were rejoicing that God had not taken away the 
 influence of his blelTed Spirit. Refredied to fee 
 lo many " ftriving toenter in at the (Irait gate ;'* 
 '—and animated with fuch concern for them, that 
 they wanted " to pufh them forward," as fome 
 of them expreffed it. — At the fame time numbers 
 both of men and women, old and youhg, might 
 be feen in tears', and fome inanguifh of fpirit, ap- 
 pearing in theirvery countenances, like condemn- 
 ed malefadiors going towards the place of execu- 
 tion: fo that there feemed a lively emblem of the 
 folemn day of accounts; a mixture of heaven and 
 hell, of joy unfpeakable, and anguilh inexpreili- 
 ble. 
 
 The concern was/uch, that I could not pretenj 
 to have anyyi^rwa/ religious exeicife among them; 
 but fpent the time in difcourfing to one and 
 another, fometimes all together, and concluded 
 
 witlj^ 
 
C 154 J 
 
 with prayer. »S«c^ were their circum fiances, that 
 I could Icarce have half an hour's reft from fpeak- 
 ing from about half an hour before twelve o'clock, 
 i^at which time I began public worftiip) 'U^ .p.ait 
 j^d^ at night, ^ • , .^^^^ , .!■ . 
 
 Dec. 30. ^ I was yifited by four or five young 
 perfonsi under qoncern for their fouls, mofl of 
 whQintWere very lately awakened. They wept 
 much while 1 difcourfed to thein, and endeavour- 
 ed to prefs upon them the necelBty oi Jlying to 
 Chrift, without delay, for falvation, 
 .31. 1 fpenlforae hours this day in vifiting my 
 people from houfe to houfe : and fcarce left a 
 houfe, without leaving fome or other of its 
 inhabitants in tears, folicitoufly engaged to obtain 
 an interefl in Chrift. 
 
 The Indians are now gathered together from all 
 quarters to this place, and have built them little 
 cottages, fo that more than twenty families* live 
 within a quarter of a mile of me. A very con- 
 venient fituation in regard of both public and 
 private inftruftion. 
 
 January 1, 1745 — I am this day beginning a 
 }^ew Year ; and God has carried me through 
 numerous trials and labours in thepaft. He has 
 amazingly fupported my feeble frame ; for " having 
 obtained help of God, I continue to this day." 
 
 that 1 might live nearer to God, this year than 
 
 1 did the laft! The bufinefs that I have been 
 enabled to go through, I know, has been as great 
 as nature could bear up under, and what would 
 have funk me quite, without fpecial fupport. 
 But alas ! though I have done the labours and 
 endured the trials, with what fpirit have 1 done 
 ^ne one, and borne the other? How cold has my 
 heart often been ! and how little have I eyed the 
 glory of God ! I have found, that I could have 
 no peace without filling up all my time wich 
 labours : and thus " neceflity has been laid upon 
 xne -," yea, in that r^fpefb, I have loved to labour : 
 but I could not fenfibly labour /or God, as X 
 would have done. May I for the future be en- 
 abled moie f«nlibly to make the glory of God my 
 tLllt This 
 
r ^55 1 
 
 This day I fpent foroe confiderable time in 
 vifiting my people again, and found fcaice one 
 but what was under fome ferious imprefTions. 
 
 Jan. 2. I vtfued fome perfons newly come a» 
 mong us, who had fcarce ever heard any thing of 
 Chriftianily, (but the name.) I endeavoured to 
 inftruft them in the firft principles of religion, in 
 the moft eafy and familiar manner I could. 
 
 There are Grangers from remote parts almoft 
 continually dropping in, fo that I have occalion 
 repeatedly to open and inculcate the/ry? ^nnci^/^j 
 of Chriftianity. 
 
 Near night I propofed to have proceeded in my 
 ufual method of catechifing. But while we 
 were engaged in the firft prayer, the power of 
 God came upon the aflembly in fo remarkable a 
 manner, and fo many appeared under prefTing 
 concern, that I thought it much more expedient 
 to infift upon the plentiful provifion made for the 
 redemption of perifhing Hnners, and to prefs 
 them to a fpttdy acceptance of the great falvation^ 
 than to afk them quertions about dodrinal points. 
 
 I baptized two perfons this day ; one adult and 
 one child. 
 
 The woman has difcovered an heavenly frame 
 of mind, from her firft reception of comfort. 
 One morning in particular fhe came to fee me, 
 difcovering an unufual joy in her countenance ; 
 and when I enquired the reafon of it, {he replied, 
 •* That God had made her feel that it was riglit 
 for hirn to do as he pleafed with all things." She 
 moreover enquired, whether I was not fent to 
 preach to the Indians, by fome good people a 
 great way off. I replied. Yes, by the good peo- 
 ple in Scotland. She anfwered, that her heart 
 Idved thofe good people fo, the evening before, 
 that fhe could fcarce help praying for them all 
 night, her heart would go to God for ihcnj." 
 
 Jan. 8. My heart was drawn out after God : 
 my foul was refiefhed and quickened; i had 
 great hopes of the ingathering of precious fouls to 
 Chrift ; not only among my own people, but 
 
 others 
 
C >56 ] 
 
 Others alfo. I was fweetly refigned and compofed 
 tinder my bodily weaknefs; and was willing to 
 live or die, and defirous to labour for God to the 
 utmoft of my Itrength. 
 
 Jan, lo. My foul was in a calm, compofed 
 frame, and filled with love to all the world ; 
 Chriliian fimplicity and tendernefs feemed to pre- 
 vail and reign with me. Near night, I vifited a 
 ferious baptift-minifter, and had fome agreeable 
 converfation with him. 
 
 Jan. 13. I was vifited by divers perfons undet 
 deep concern : one of whom was newly awaken- 
 ed,— It is a moft agreeable work to treat with 
 fouls who are folicitoufly enquiring " what 
 they fhall do to be faved." And as we are never 
 to " be weary in well-doing/' fo the obligation 
 is peculiarly ftrong when the work is fo lively. 
 And yet my health is fo much impaired, and my 
 fpirits fo wafted with my labours, and folitary 
 manner of living, (there being no human creature 
 in the houfe with me,; that their repeated and al- 
 moft inceffant application to me for help and 
 direiftion, are fometimes exceeding burdenfome. 
 And what fontributes much toward !his diiEculty 
 is, that I am obliged to fpend much time in com- 
 municating a little matter to them ; there being 
 often many things neceffary to be premifed, before 
 I can fpeak direftly to what I principally aim at ; 
 which things would readily be taken for grant- 
 ed, where there was competency of knowledge. 
 
 Lord's-day, Jan. 19. I catechifedin my ordi- 
 nary rnethod. Numbers were much aficfted.— 
 Conviftions powerfully revived.— Divers of the 
 Chriftians refreftied and ftrengthened.— And one 
 weary heavy laden foul, I have reafon to hopo was 
 brought to true reft and folid comfort in Chrift. 
 
 He told me, he had often heard me fay, that 
 perfons mufty^g and feel themfelves helpleis and 
 undone; that they muftgive up all hope of faving 
 themfelves by their own doings, in order to their 
 coming tq Chrift for falvation. And he had long 
 been llriving after this ; fuppofing this would be 
 an excellent frame of mind ; thai God would 
 
 hav« 
 
I IS7 1 
 
 have refpefl to this frame, and beftow eternal life 
 
 upon him. But when he came to feel himfelf 
 
 in this helplefs undone condition, he found it 
 quite contrary to all his thoughts: fo that it v/as 
 not the famr, nor indeed any thing like the frama 
 he had been feeking after. Inflead of its being 4 
 good frame ot mind, he now found nothing but 
 badnefs '\x\ himlelf, and faw it was for ever im- 
 pofl'ibie lor him to make himfelf any better, IJe; 
 was amazed he had never before leen that it was 
 utterly impofiible for him, by all his contrivances 
 
 and endeavours, to do any thing that taay, . 
 
 Inflead of imagining that God would be pleafed 
 with him for the fake of this frame of mind, he 
 faw clearly it would be jull with God to fend 
 him to eternal nrjifery ; and that there wdsnogood- 
 nefs in what he then felt ; for he could not help 
 feeing, that he was naked, finful, and miferable, 
 and there was nothing in fuch a fight to defervo 
 God's love or pity, 
 
 in this frame of mind he carae to public worlhip 
 this evening, and while I was inviting finners to 
 come to Chrifl naked and empty, without any 
 goodncls of their otvn to recommend them to hie 
 acceptance; he thought, that he had often tried 
 to come and give up his heart to Chrift, and he 
 ufed to hope, that fome time or other he fhould 
 be able to do fo. But now he was convinced hi 
 could not, and it feemed utterly vain for him ever 
 to try any more : nor did he now hope for a 
 better opportunity hereafter, as he had formerly 
 done, becaufe he faw, and was fully convinced,, 
 his own ftrength would for ever fail. 
 
 While he was mufing in this manner, he faw^ 
 he faid, with his heart, (which is a common 
 phrafe among them) fomething that was unfpeaka- 
 bly good and lovely, and what he had never fecn 
 before; and ** this ftole away his heart whether 
 he would or no." He did not, he iaid, know 
 what it was he faw. He did not fay, " this is 
 Jefus Chrift ;" but it was fuch glory and beauty 
 as he never faw before. He did not now give 
 away his heart /o as he had formerly attempced to 
 O '^ do. 
 
r >58 1 
 
 t!o, but it went amay of it/elf after that glory ho 
 then difcovered. He uied to try to make a bar- 
 gain with Chrift, to give up his heart to him, that 
 he might have eternal life /or it. But now he 
 thought nothing about himleif, but his mind was 
 "wholly taken up with the unfpeakable excellency 
 of what he tlien beheld. 
 
 After fome time he was wonderfully pleafed 
 with the way of falvation by Chrift: fo that it 
 feemed unfpeakably better to be faved altogether 
 by the mere free grace of God in Chrift, than to 
 have any hand in laving himfelf. And the confe- 
 <]uence is, that he appears to retain a relifti of 
 diviije things, and to maintain a life of true re- 
 ligion. 
 
 Lord*s-day, Jan. 26. After public worfiiip, I 
 was in a fweet and folemn frame of mind, thank- 
 ful to God that he had made me in fome raeafure 
 faithful in addrelTmg precious fouls, but grieved 
 that 1 had been no more fervent in my work ; and 
 tenderly affefted towards all the world, longing 
 that every finner might he faved ; and could not 
 have entertained any bitternefs towards the worft 
 enemy living. In the evening, 1 rode to Elifa- 
 beth-Town : while riding I was almod conftantly 
 engaged in lifting up my heart to God, left I 
 ftiould lofe that fweet heavenly folemnity and 
 compofure of foul I enjoyed. Afterwards, I was 
 
 ? leafed, to think, that God reigneth : and thought, 
 could never be uneafy with any of his difpenfa- 
 tions ; but muft be entirely fatished, whatever 
 trials he fhould caufe me or his church to encoun- 
 ter. 1 never felt more divine ferenity and com- 
 pofure of mind : I could freely have left the dear- 
 eft earthly friend, for the fociety of *' angels and 
 fpirits of juft men made perfect ;" my affections 
 foared aloft to the bleffed Author of every dear 
 enjoyment ; I viewed the emptinefs and unfatis- 
 fadlory nature of the moft defirable earthly objeds, 
 any further than God is feen in them ; and long- 
 ed for a life of fpirituality and inward purity; 
 without which, I faw, there could be no true 
 pleafure* 
 
 a8. 
 
E '59 J 
 
 28, The Indians in thefe parts having in times 
 paft run themfelves in debt by their exceflive 
 drinking ; and fome having taken the advantage 
 of them, and arrelled fundry of them ; whereby 
 it was fuppofed their hunting lands might fpecdily 
 be taken from them ; I being fenfible that they 
 could not fubfift together in thefe parts, if thefe 
 lands fhould drop out of their hands, thought it 
 my duty to ufe my utmofl endeavours to prevent 
 it. And having acquainted the gentlemen con- 
 cerned in this mijfion with the affair, they thought 
 it proper to expend the money they had been 
 coUefting for the religious interefts of the Indians, 
 (at leaft a part of it.) for the difcharging of their 
 debts, and fecuring thefe lands.— And having re- 
 ceived orders from them, I anfwered, in behalf 
 of the Indians, Eighty-two pounds Jive JkillingSy 
 New-Jei*fcy currency, 
 
 31. This day the perfon I had engaged for a 
 fchool-majter among the. Indians, arrived among us, 
 and was heartily welcomed by my people. 
 Whereupon I diftributed feveral dozen oi prirrurSy 
 among the children and young people, 
 
 February 1. My fchool-mafter entered upon 
 his bufinefs among the Indians. — He has generally 
 about thirty children and young perfons in his 
 fchool in the day-time, and ^}oo\^l Jij teen married 
 people in his evening-fchool. The number of the 
 latter fort of perfons being lefs than it would be, 
 if they could be more conftant at home. 
 
 In the evening 1 catechifed in my ufual method. 
 Towards the clofe of my difcourfe, a furprifmg 
 power feemed to attend the word. One man 
 conliderably in years, who had been a remarkable 
 diunkard, a conjurer and murderer, that was 
 awakened fome months before, was now brought 
 to great extremity, fo that he trembled for hours 
 together, and apprehended himlelf juft dropping 
 into hell, without any power to relcue or relieve 
 himfelf.— Divers others appeared under great 
 concern, as well as he, and folicilous to obtain a 
 Caving change. 
 
 £Feb, 10. He fet out on a journey to the 
 O 2 forka 
 
{ .60 1 
 
 Forks of Delaware, to vifit the Indians there, 
 ile performed the journey under great weaknefs, 
 and fometimes was exercifed with much pain : 
 He arrived at his own houfe at the Forks, on 
 Friday.] 
 
 I baptized three perfons, two adults, and one 
 child. There was a confiderabie melting in 
 the affembly, while I was adminillering the ordi- 
 nance. 
 
 God has been pleafed to own and blefs the 
 adminiftration of this, as well as of his other 
 crdinances, among the Indians. There are feme 
 here that have been powerfully awakened at fee- 
 ing others baptized. And feme that have obtain* 
 cd relief and comfort, juft in the feafon when this 
 ordinance has been adminiftered. 
 
 Towards night I catechifed, God made this 
 a powerful feafon. There were many affefted.— 
 Former convi^ions were powerfully revived. 
 There was likewile one, who had been a vile 
 drunkard, remarkably awakened. He appeared 
 to be in great anguifb of foul, wept and trembled, 
 and continued fo to do till near midnight. There 
 vas alfo a poor heavy laden foul, wlio had been 
 long under fpiritual diitrels, that wasnow brought 
 to a comfortable calm, and told me, " She now 
 favv and felt it was rigiit God fhould do with her 
 as he pleafed." And added, that \:he heavy burden 
 jfhe had lain under, v/as now removed: that fho 
 lelt {he never could do any thing to fave herfelf, 
 hut mufl perilh for ever if Chrill did not do all 
 for her. But Chrift could fave her, though Ihe 
 i:ould do not /ting I Q fave herfelf. 
 
 Lord's-day, Feb. 16. Knowing that divers of 
 the Indians in thofe parts were obllinately let 
 againfl Chiiflianity, 1 thought it pioper to have 
 Ibme of my people from Crofweekiung with me, 
 in order to converfe with them : hoping it might 
 be a means to convince them of the truth, to fee 
 and hear fome of their own nation difcourfmg of 
 divine things, and manifefting earneit dehres that 
 Others might be brought out of Hcathcoilh dark- 
 nefs, as themfeives "vyerc. 
 
 And 
 
C .6, 3 
 
 And having taken half a dozen of the mon: 
 ferious and knowing pcrfons, I this day met with 
 them and the Indians of this place, (fundry of 
 whom could not have been prevailed upon to at- 
 tend the meeting, had it not been for thefe In- 
 dians that accompanied me^ and preached to 
 them.— Some of them who nad, in times paft, 
 been extremely averfe to Chriftianity, now be- 
 haved foberly ; tho' others laughed and mocked. 
 However the word of God fell with fuch weight 
 and power, that feveral feemed to be dunned, 
 and expreffed a willingnefs to «' hear me again 
 of thefe matters." 
 
 After public worfhip I fpent fome time to con- 
 vince thofe that mocked, of the truth and im- 
 portance of what I had been infifting upon ; and 
 1 had reafon to think, that my endeavours took 
 cfFe£l upon one of the worib of them, 
 
 Thofe few Indians then prefent, who ufed to 
 be my hearers in thefe parts, (fome having re- 
 moved from thence to Crofv/eekfung,) feemed 
 glad to fee me again, although they had been fo 
 much attacked by fome of the oppohng Pagans, 
 that they were almoft afraid to manifeft their 
 friendfhip. 
 
 In the evening I was in a compofed frame of 
 mind. It was exceeding refrefliing to think, that 
 God had been with me, affording me ibme good 
 meafure of affiflance. I found freedom in prayer 
 and thankfgiving to God : and found my foul 
 fweetly enlarged in prayer for my dear friends 
 and acquaintance. Bleffed be the name of the 
 Lord, that ever I am enabled to do any thing for 
 his interefl and kingdom. Bleffed be God who 
 enables me to be faithful. I enjoyed more refolu- 
 tion for God, and more refrefhment of fpirir, 
 than I have been favoured with for many v^eek* 
 paft. 
 
 Feb. 17. r dilcourfed from A6ls viii. 5—8. 
 A divine influence feemed to attend the word» 
 Sundry of the Indians here appeared to be fome- 
 what awakened, and manifcfted a concern by 
 their earned attention, tears and fobs. My peo- 
 O a pie 
 
pie fiom Crofwrcekfung continued with them day 
 and night, repeating and inculcating the trurlis I 
 bad taught them : and fometimes prayed and fung 
 pfalms among them ; difcourfing with each other, 
 in their hearing of the great things God had done 
 for thcm^ and for the Indians from whence thev 
 came: which feemed to take more efFca upon 
 them, than when' they directed their difcourfes 
 immedidtely to them, 
 
 18. I preached to an affembly of Irifh people 
 near fifteen miles diftant from the Indians. - 
 
 19. I preached to the Indians again, after 
 having fpent a confiderable time in converfing 
 with them privately. There appeared a great fo- 
 Icmnity, and fome concern and affedion among 
 the Indians belonging to thefe parts, as well as a 
 fweet melting among thofe who came with me. 
 Divers of the Indians here -feemed to have their 
 prejudices removed, and appeared well difpofed 
 to hear the word of God. 
 
 20. I preached to a fmall afiTembly of High- 
 Dutch people, who had feldom heard the gofpel, 
 and ^*'ere (fome of them at leaft, very ignorant ; 
 but divers of them have lately b^en put upon an 
 inquiry after the way of falvation. They gave 
 wonderful attention, and fome of them were 
 much aife6ted, and afterwards laid, fas I was in- 
 formtd) that they never had been fo much en-, 
 lightened about the way of falvation in their 
 whole lives before. They requefled me to tarry 
 with them, or come again and preach to them. 
 And it grieved me that I could not comply with 
 their requefl : for I could not but be affefted with 
 their circumftances ; they being as " fheep not 
 Ji-iving a {hepherd.'* 
 
 ii. I preached to a number of people, many 
 «>F them Low-Dutch. Sundry of the foremention- 
 ed Pligh-Dutch attended the ferrnon, though eight 
 or ten rniles diftant from their houfes. Divers of 
 the Indians alfo belonging to thefe parts, came of 
 their own accord (with my people from Crof- 
 •wcekfung) to the meeting; two in particular, 
 
 who 
 
r 163 1 
 
 who in the la 11 Sabbath, oppofed and ridiculed 
 Chriftianity. 
 
 February 22. I preached to the Indians. 
 They leerned more free from prejudice, and more 
 cordial to Chiiftianity than before, and (ome ap- 
 peared much afie6led. 
 
 My fpirits were fupported, though my bodily 
 flrength was much walled. Q that God would 
 be gracious to the fouls of thefe poor Indians! 
 
 God has been very gracious to me this week : 
 he has enabled me to preach every day: and has 
 given me fome afliftance, and encouraging prof- 
 peft of fucccfs in almofb every (ermon. Bleffed 
 be his name. Divers of the white people have 
 been awakened this week ; fundry of the Indians 
 much cured of the prejudices and jealoufies they 
 had conceived againft Chriftianity, and feme 
 feemed to be really av/akencd. 
 
 [The next day he left the Forks of Delaware, 
 to return to Crofweekfung ; and preached by the 
 way every d^y, excepting one ; and was feveral 
 times greatly alrifted ; he had much inward com- 
 fort, and earned longings to fill up his time with 
 the fervice of God. J 
 
 Lord's-day, March 2. Someof my people who 
 went up to the Forks of Delaware with mc, being 
 now returned, were accompanied by two of the 
 Indians belonging to the Forks, who had pro- 
 mifed me a fpeedy vifit. They can fcarce go into 
 a houfe now, but they will meet with Chriftian 
 converfation, whereby they may be both inflruft- 
 cd and awakened, 
 
 I know of no affembly of Chriftians, where 
 there feems to be fo much of the prefence of God, 
 were brotherly love fo much prevails, as in my 
 own con^iegation : although not more than, nine 
 months ago, they were worfhipping devils and 
 dumb idols^ under the power of Pagan darknefs 
 and fuperflition. Amazing change ! effefted by 
 nothing lefs than divine power and grace ! 
 '. Their prefent fituation is fo compaft and com- 
 modious, that they are quickly called togethei 
 with only the found of a Conk-fhell, (a Ihell like 
 
 thsit 
 
[ »64 3 
 
 tKat of a periwinkle) fo that they have frequent 
 opportunities of attending religious exercifes pub- 
 licly : "which feems to be a great means, under 
 God, of keeping alive their impreffions of divine 
 things. 
 
 March 6, I walked alone in the evening, and 
 enjoyed comfort in prayer, beyond what 1 have 
 of late enjoyed : my foul rejoiced in my pilgrimage 
 Jlatc, I was delighted with the thought of labour- 
 ing and enduring hardnefs for God : and confided 
 an God that he <' never would leave me nor for- 
 fake me," to the end of my race. Oh. may I 
 obtain mercy of God to be faithful, to my dying 
 moment! 
 
 8, T catechifed in the evening. My people 
 anfwered the queftions proposed to them well. I 
 can perceive their knowledge in religion increafes 
 daily. And what is ftill more defirable, the 
 divine influence among them, appears ftill to 
 continue. The divine prefence feemed to be in 
 the aflembly this evening. Some who are Chrif- 
 tians indeed, were melted with a fenfe of the 
 divine goodnefs, and their own barrennefs and 
 ingratitude. Convi6lions alfo appeared to revive 
 in feveral ; fo it might jullly be called " an even- 
 ing of power.'* 
 
 Lord's-day, March 9, I preached from Luke 
 X. 38,-42. The word of God was attended with 
 energy. Numbers were affcfted and concerned to 
 obtain the one thing needful. Several that have 
 given good evidences of being truly gracious, 
 were much affefted with a fenfe of their want of 
 fpirituality ; and faw the need they flood in of 
 grounng in grace. And moftthathad had any im- 
 preffions of divine things in times pafl, now felt 
 thofe impreffions revived. 
 
 In the afternoon, I propofed to have catechifed 
 in my ufual method. But while we were en- 
 gaged in the firfl prayer, in the Indian language, 
 (as ufual) a great part of the aflembly was fo 
 much moved, that I thought it proper to omit 
 the queflion^, and inhft upon the molt praftical 
 truths* 
 
 Thcr« 
 
C '65 ] 
 
 There appeared to be a powerful influence la. 
 the congregation. Thofe truly pious, weje fo 
 deeply affc6led with a fctifc of their own barren' 
 nefsf and L'leir own unworthy treatment of the 
 bleffcd Redeemer, that they looked on him as 
 pierced by themfelves, and mourned, yea, fomc of 
 them were in hitlcrnejs as for a firjl ^^r/i.— Some 
 poor awakened finners cdlo appeared to be in an- 
 guilh of foul to obtain an interest in Chrift. So 
 that there was a great mourning in the affembly : 
 many heavy groans and tears ; and orie or two 
 perfons newly come among us, were confiderabiy 
 awakened. 
 
 After pubh'c worfiiip many came to my houfe, 
 where we fung and difcoijifed ; and the pre- 
 fence of God feemed here alio to be in the midH 
 of us. 
 
 While we were Tinging, there was one (the 
 woman mentioned in my Jojrnal of February 9,) 
 who, I may venture to fay, was *• filled with 
 joy unfpeakable and full of glorv'* and could not 
 but burft forth in prayer and praifes to God before 
 us all, with many tears, crying fometimes ia 
 £nglifh, and fometimes in Indian, ** O blefled 
 Lord, do come, do come} O do take me away, 
 do let me die and go to Jefus Chrifl ! I am afraid 
 if I live I fhall fin again i O do let me die now ! 
 O dear Jefus, do come 1 I cannot (lay, I cannot 
 Itay ! O how can I live in this world ! do take 
 my foul away from this finful place ! O let nic 
 never fm any more!" — In this ecllafy fhe con* 
 tinued fome time, uttering thefe and fuch like 
 expreflions inceffantly. 
 
 When fhe had a little recovered, I alked her, 
 if Chrifl: was now fweet to her foul ? Whereupon, 
 -turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with all 
 the tokens of deep humilityj fcc faid, *« 1 have 
 many times heard you fpeak of the goodnefs and 
 the fweetnefs of Chrift, thai he was better than 
 all the world* But O ! 1 knew nothing what 
 you meant, I never believed you 1 I never 
 believed you ! But now 1 know it is true !'"— t 
 anfwered, And do you fee enough in Chrift for 
 
 the 
 
E t65 1 
 
 the grcateft oF finners? She replied, " O! 
 enough,' enough ! for all the fmners in the world, 
 if they would but come." And when I alked her, 
 if flie could not tell them of the goodnefs of 
 Chriil : turning herfelf about to fome poor Chrifl- 
 lefs fouls who iiood by, and were much affected, 
 fhe faid, *' O ! there is enough in Chrifl for you, 
 if you would but come ! O llrive, flrive to give 
 up your hearts to him !"— And upon hearing 
 fomething of the glory of heaven mentioned, (he 
 again fell into the fame ecftafy, repeating her 
 former exprelTions, '* O dear Lord, do let me go! 
 O wiiat fliall I do, what Ihall I do ; I want to go 
 to Chrifl !. I cannot live ! O do let me die !" 
 
 She continued in this fweet frarrje for more 
 than two hours, before fhe wa» well able to 
 get home. 
 
 I am fenfible there may be great joys, where 
 there is no fubftantial evidence of their being well 
 grounded. But in the prefent cafe there feemed 
 to be no evidence wanting, in order to prove 
 this joy to be divine, either in regard of its pre- 
 paratives, attendants, or confequents. 
 
 Of all the perfons I have feen I fcarce ever faw 
 one more bowed and broken under conviftions o 
 lin than this woman. Nor fcarce any who feemed 
 to have a greater acquaintance with her own 
 heart than fhe had. She would frequently com- 
 plain to me of the hardnels and rebellion of her 
 .heart. That her heart was not willing to come 
 to Chrift for falvation, but tried every where elf« 
 for help. 
 
 And as (he was remarkably fenfible of her ftub- 
 bornnefs under conviftion, fo fhe appeared to be 
 no lefs remarkably reconciled to divine grace, 
 before fhe obtained any relief. Since which fhe 
 has conftantly breathed the fpirit and temper of a 
 new creature ; crying after Chrift, not through 
 fear of hed as before, but with llrong defires after 
 him as her only {dithfyxug portion ; and has many 
 times wept bitterly, becaufe fhe could not love 
 him. — When I have fometimes afked her, Why 
 ihe appeared fo forrowful| and whether it was 
 
 becaufe 
 
[ '% J 
 
 Ibccaufc (he was afraid oF hell? She 'wo^l<l( 
 anfwer, *< No, I be not ciinLrefTcd about t\\is 
 but my heart is fo wicked I cannot love ChT'^'t 
 and thereupon burfl out into tears— I^ut ahho^s^^ 
 this has been tlie habitual frame of her mind jw»k 
 feveral weeks, yet fhe never iiad any remarkabls 
 comfort till this evening. 
 
 The attendants of this comfort, were fuch as 
 abundantly difcovered that it was truly " joy in 
 the Holy Ghofl." Now ftie viewed divine truths 
 as living realities ; and could fay '* I know thefe 
 things are fo, I feel they are true P* NozohQV 
 foul was refigned to the divine will in the molt 
 tender points ; fo that when 1 faid to her, What 
 if God fhould take away your hufband from you, 
 (who was then fick,) how do you think you could 
 iDear that? She replied, *' He belongs to God, 
 and not to me *, he may do with him jufl what he 
 pleafes."— A^ort; fbe had the moft tender fenfe of 
 the evil of fin, and difcovered the utmoftaverfion 
 to it. Now (he could freely truft her all with 
 God for time and eternity. And when I queried 
 with her, how (he could be willing to die, and 
 leave her little infant: and what fhe thought 
 would become of it in cafe (he fhould ? She 
 anfwered, " God will take care of it. It belongs 
 to him, he will take care of it." — New fhe appear- 
 ed to have the mod humbling fenfe of her own 
 unworthinefs and inability to preferve herfelf 
 from fin, and to perfevere in holinefs. And I 
 thought I had never ieen fuch an appearance of 
 €cjiafy and humility meeting in any one perfon. 
 
 The confequents of this joy are no lefs dehrable 
 than its attendants. She fince appears to be a 
 moft tender, broken-hearted, afleftionate, devout, 
 and humble Chriftian, as exemplary in life 
 and converfation as any perfon in my congrega- 
 tion. 
 
 March lo. Toward night the Indians met to- 
 gether of their own accord, and fang, prayed, 
 and difcourfed of divine things. At this time 
 there was much affeftion among them. Some 
 appeared to be melted witii divine things, 
 
 and 
 
r .58 ] 
 
 ^t^d( vfome others feemed much concerned for theif 
 
 Scm/s.' 
 
 V^r baptized the woman mentioned in my Journal 
 
 on l«{l Lcrd's-day ; who appeared to be in a 
 
 devout, humble, and excellent frame of mind. 
 
 My houfe being thronged with people in the 
 evening, 1 fpent the time with them, till my 
 nature was almoll fpent. — They are fo unwearied 
 in religious exercifes, and unfatiable in their 
 thirflings after Chriftian knozvledge, that I can 
 fometimes fcarce avoid labouring fo, as greatly to 
 cxhaull my.flrength and fpiritt, 
 
 March 19. Some of the perfons that went 
 with me to the Forks of Delaware, having been 
 detained there by the dangerous iilnefs of one of 
 their company, returned home this day. Where- 
 upon my people met together of their own accord, 
 to give thanks to God for his preferving goodnefs 
 to th^fe who had been abfent from ihem for 
 fcveral weeks, and recovering mercy to him that 
 had been Tick. 
 
 Lord's-day, March 23. There being about 
 ?ihcer\ Jl rangers, adult perfons, come among us 
 in the zotek paft ; divers^ of whom had never been 
 in any religious meeting till nov/, I thought it 
 proper to difcourfe this day in a manner peculiar-* 
 ly fuited to, their circumflanccs, and accordingly 
 attempted it from Hof. xiii. 9. in the forenoon 
 opening in the plaineft: manner I could, man's 
 apodacy and ruined ftate, after having fpoken 
 fome things refpefling the being and perfeAions 
 of God, and his creation of man in a ftate of 
 uprightnefs and happinels. In the afternoon, I 
 endeavoured to open the glorious provifion 
 God has made for the redemption of apoltate crea- 
 tures. 
 
 Near fun-fet I felt an uncommon concern upon 
 my mind, cfpecially for the ^oor firangers : I 
 vifitcd fundry houfes, and difcourfcd with them 
 feverally, but without much appearance of fuccefs, 
 till I came to a houfe where divers of the flran- 
 gers were ; and there the word took eftci, firfl 
 upon fome children ; then upon divers adult 
 
 perfonft 
 
t »69 ] 
 
 p^rfons that had been fomewhat awalcened 
 before, and afterwards upon feverai of the Pagan 
 fir angers. 
 
 ' I continued my difcourfe till almofl: every one 
 in the houfe was melted into tears : and divers 
 wept aloud, and appeared earneflly concerned to 
 obtain an intereftin Chrift. Upon this, numbers 
 foon gathered from all the houfes round about, 
 and fo thronged the place, that we were obliged 
 to remove to the houfe were we ufually meet for 
 public worfhip. And the congregation gathering 
 immediately, and many appearing remarkably 
 affefted, I difcourfedfome time from Lukexix. io» 
 endeavouring to open the mercy, compafTion, 
 and concern of Chrift for Icji^ helpUfs^ and undone 
 finners. 
 
 There was much vifible concern in the affembly ; 
 and I doubt not but a divine influence accompani- 
 ed what was fpoken to the hearts of many. There 
 were five or fix of the grangers (men and women) 
 who appeared to be confiderably awakened. And 
 in particular one very rugged young man, who 
 feemed as if nothing would move him, was now 
 brought to tremble like the jailor, and wsep for a 
 long time. 
 
 The Pagans that were awakened feemed at once 
 to put off their fav age roughnefs, and became 
 fociable, orderly, and humane. When they firfl 
 came, I exhorted my people to take pains with 
 them (as they had done wiih other ftrangers from 
 time to time) to inftrucl them in Chriftianity. 
 But when fome of them attempted it, the ftran- 
 gers would foon rife up and walk to other houfes. 
 Whereupon fome of the ferious perfons agreed to 
 difperfe themfelvcs into the feverai parts of the 
 fettlemcnt. So that wherever the Jlrangers went, 
 they met with warm addrefl"es refpetling their 
 foul's concern. But now there was no need of 
 ufing policy in order to get an opportunity of con- 
 verfing with them : for they were fo touclied 
 with a fenfe of their periftiing ftaie, as tamely to 
 yield to the clofeji addreifes, refpcfting their fia 
 and mifery, and their need of an acquaintance 
 with the grcdt redeemer. 
 
 P Mar 
 
L i7cr ] 
 
 March 24. I numbered the Indians, to fee how 
 many fouls God had gathered together here, fince 
 my coming.; and found there was now about an 
 hundred and thirty perfons, old and young. And 
 fundry of thofe that are my ftated hearers, perhaps 
 JiJUtn or tzuenty, were abfent at this feafon. Where- 
 as /<rry were together at my firll coming into thefc 
 parts, the whole number not amounting to U* 
 perfons. 
 
 My people going out this day to clear fome of 
 their lands, above fifteen miles dillant, in ordei* 
 to their fettling there togjether, where they might 
 attend the public worfhip of God, have their 
 children fchooled, and at the iame time have a 
 conveniency for planting ; I thought it proper to 
 call them together, and (hew them the duty of la- 
 bouring with faithfulncfs and induflry ; and that 
 they muft not now '* be flothful in bufinefs," as 
 they had ever been in their Pagan flaie. And 
 having given them direftions for their work, and 
 recommfnded them to God, I difmilTed them to 
 their bufinefs. 
 
 In the evening I read and expounded the fub- 
 ftancc of the third chapter of the Afts. Numbers 
 feemed to melt under the word. When I afked 
 them afterwards, whether they did not now feel 
 that their hearts were wicked? One replied, 
 «< Yes, fhe felt it now." Although before fhe 
 came here, (he had faid, " Her heart was not 
 wicked, and fhe never had done any thing that 
 was had in her life." And /Aw. indeed ieems 
 to be the cafe with them univerfally, in the Pagan 
 flate. 
 
 They feem to have no conjcioufnefs of fin and 
 guilt unlefs they can charge themfelves with fome 
 ^rofs afis of fin. 
 
 March 25. After the Indians were gone to their 
 work, I got alone, and poured out my foul to 
 God, that he would (mile upon thefc feeble begin- 
 ners, and that he would fettle an Indian town, 
 that might be the ynountain of holinefs ; and found 
 my foul much refiefhed, and much enlarged for 
 ' Z ion's 
 
C '71 ] 
 
 .Zion's interefl;, and for numbers of clear friend* 
 in particular. My finking fpirits were revived, 
 and I felt animated in the fervice God has called 
 me to. This was the dearefl hour I have enjoyed 
 for many days, if not weeks. I found an encourag- 
 ing hope that fomething would be done for God, 
 and that God would ufe and help me in his work. 
 And Oh, how fweet were the thoughts of labour- 
 ing for God, when I had any hope that ever I 
 fhould be fuccefsful ! 
 
 [The next day, h\s fchool-majler was taken fick 
 with a pleurify ; and he fpent great part of the 
 remainder of this week in tending him : which 
 in his weak ftate was almoft too much for him : 
 he being obliged conftantly to wait upon him, all 
 day, from day to day, and to lie on the floor ae 
 night. His fpirits funk in a confiderable degree, 
 with his bodily flrength, under this burden."] 
 
 March 29. In the evening I catcchiCed as ula:*.K 
 —Treating upon the *' benefits wliich believers 
 receive from Chrill's death." — The queftiont 
 were anfwered with great readinefs and propriety. 
 And thofe who, I have reafon to think, are the 
 people of God, were fweetly melted in general. 
 There appeared fuch a livelinefs and vigour in 
 their attendance upon the word of God, and fuch 
 cagernefs to be made partakers of the htntjits thea 
 mentioned, that they feemed to be not only 
 *« looking for, but haftening to the coming of 
 the day of God." Divine truths feemed to diflil 
 upon the audience with a gentle, but melting 
 efficacy, as the refreftiing " ftiowers upon the 
 new mown grafs." The aflembly in general as 
 well as thofe who appear truly religious, were 
 aflFefted with an account of the bleffednefs of the 
 godly at death : and moft then difcovered an 
 afTeftionate inclination to cry, «* Let me die the 
 death of the righteous.** 
 
 March 31, I called my people together, as I 
 had done the Monday morning before, and dif- 
 courfed to them again on the neceflity of their la- 
 bouring induftrioufly, in order to their living to- 
 gether and enjoying the means of grace. And 
 P a having 
 
L »72 J 
 
 having engaged in folemn prayer to God amon^ 
 thero, I difmiffed them to their work. 
 
 Numbers of them ^both men and uomen) offer- 
 ed themfelves willingly to this fervice ; and feme 
 appeared affetlionatcly concerned that God might 
 go with them, and begin their little toton for tliem : 
 that by his blefling it might be a place comfortable 
 for them, and theirs, in regard both of procuring 
 the neceffarics of life, and of attending the wor- 
 fhip of God. 
 
 April~2. 1 was exercifed with a fplritlefs frame 
 of mind. Alas I my days pafs away as the chaff f 
 it is but little I do, or can do, that turns to any 
 account ; and it is my conflant mifery and burden, 
 that I am fo frultlefs in the vineyard of the Lord, 
 Oh that I were y/?znt, that I might be a6live for 
 God. This more than any thing elfe, makes me 
 long, that " this corruptible might put on incor- 
 ruption, and this mortal " put on immortality." 
 God deliver iiie from clogs, fetters^ and a body of 
 death, thst impede my fervice for him. 
 
 5. — After public vvorTnip, a number of my dear 
 Chriftian Indians came to my houfe ; with whom 
 1 felt a fweet union of foul ; my heart was knit 
 to them; and I cannot fay, I have felt fuch a 
 fweet and fervent love to tht brtthrtn, for fome 
 time pafl : and 1 faw in them appearances of the 
 fame love: This gave me fomething of a view of 
 the heavenly ftate ; and particularly that part of 
 the happinefs of heaven, which conlills in the 
 communion of faints, 
 
 Lord's-day, April 6, I preached from Mattlu 
 yii. 21,— -23. There were confiderable effefts of 
 the word vihble in the audience : an earnefl at*- 
 tention, a great folemnity, naany tears and fighs. 
 Divers were put upon ferions and clofe examina- 
 tion of their fpiritual flates, by hearing that 
 " not every one that faith to Chrift, Lord, Lord, 
 ftsall enter into his kingdom." And fome of 
 them expreffed fears leA they had deceived them* 
 fclves, and taken up a falfe hope, becaufe they 
 had done fo little of the « will of his Father who 
 16 in heaven,'* 
 
 There 
 
[ m 1 
 
 There was alfo one man brought under preHIng 
 concern for his foul j which appeared more efpe- 
 cially after his retirement from public worfhip. 
 And that which, he fay», gave him the greatefl 
 uneafinefs, was, not fo much any particular fin, 
 as that he had never done the will of God at all, 
 and fo had no claim to the kingdom of heaven. 
 
 In the afternoon I opened to them the difcipline 
 of Chrift in his church, and the method in which 
 offenders are to be dealt with. At which time the 
 religious people were much affefted, efpecially 
 when they heard, that the offender continuing ob- 
 ftinate, mufl finally be efteemed " as an Heathen 
 man, that has no part nor lot among God's vifible 
 people.** This they feemed to have the mofb 
 awful apprehenfions of; a ftate of Heathenifm, 
 out of which they were fo lately brought, appear- 
 ing very dreadful to them. 
 
 After public worlhip 1 vifited fundry houfes to 
 fee how they fpent the remainder of the Sabbath, 
 and to treat with them folemnly on the great con- 
 cerns of their fouls ; and the Lord feemed la 
 fmile upon my endeavours, and to make theCe 
 particular addreffes more effectual than my public 
 difcjourfes, 
 
 April 7. I difcourfed to my people from 1 Cor, 
 xi. 23 — 26, and endeavoured to open to them 
 the inllitution, nature, and ends of the Lord^^s 
 fupper, as well as the qualifications and prepara* 
 tions neceffary to the right participation of that 
 ordinance.— Sundry perfons appeared much af» 
 feded with the love of Chrilt manifefted in his 
 making this provifion for the comfort of his peo- 
 ple, at a feafon when himfelf was juft entering 
 upon his fharpeft fuff^erings. 
 
 [On Tuefday, he went to a meeting of the 
 Prefbytery appointed at Elizabeth-Town, In hi» 
 way thither, he enjoyed fome fweet meditations; 
 but after h6 came there, he was (as he eicprefTes it J 
 under an awful gloom, that opprelfed his mind. 
 And this continued till Saturday evening, when 
 tc began lo have lome relief. He fpent theSab- 
 P 3 bath 
 
i m J 
 
 bath at Staten Ifland ; where he preached to an 
 afletnbly of Dutch and England, and enjoyed 
 confiderable refrelhment and comfort, both in 
 public and private. In the evening he returned 
 to Elizabeth-Town.] 
 
 April 14. My fpirits were raifed and refreftied, 
 and my mind compofed, fo that I was in a comfort- 
 able frame of foul, moflof the day. In the even- 
 ing my head was clear, my mind ferene ; I enjoys 
 cd fweetnefs in fecret prayer and meditation. 
 Oh, how free, how comfortable, chearful, and 
 yet folemn, do I feel when I am in a good mea- 
 iure freed from thofe damps and melancholy 
 glooms, that I often labour under ! 
 
 April 15. My foul longed for more fpirituality : 
 and it was my burden, that I could do no more 
 for God. Oh, my barrennefs is my daily affliftion ! 
 Oh, how precious is time : and how it pains me, 
 to fee it Aide away, while I do fo very little to 
 any good purpofe ! Oh that God would make me 
 inore fruitful and fpiritual. 
 
 April 17. I enjoyed fome comfort in prayer, 
 fome freedom in meditation, and compofure in 
 my fludies. I fpent fome time in writing, in the 
 forenoon, and in the afternoon in converfation 
 with feveral dear.minifters. In the evening I 
 preached from Pfal. Ixxiii. 28. *' But it is good 
 for me to draw near to God.'* God helped me to 
 feel the truth of my text, both in the firft prayer 
 and in fermon. I was enabled to pour out my 
 foul to God with great freedom, fervency, and 
 affection : and to fpeak with lendernefs, and yet 
 with faithfulnefs : and divine truths feemed to 
 fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. 
 My heart was melted for the dear affembly, and I 
 loved every body in it ; and fcarce ever felt more 
 love to immortal fouls in my life ; my foul cried, 
 «' Oh that the dear creatures might be faved ! O 
 that God would have mercy on them !'* 
 
 Lord*s-day, April 20.* I enjoyed fome free- 
 dom, and exercife of faith and prayer, in the 
 
 f ♦ This day he entered into the 2^thjsar of his age,"] 
 
 morning ; 
 
C >7S J 
 
 ttiorning ; erpecially when I came to pray for. 
 Zion. 1 was free from that gloomy difcourage- 
 ment, that fo often opprefTes my mind ; and my 
 foul rejoiced in the hopes of ZIon's proiperityj 
 and the enlargement of the dear kingdom of the 
 great Redeemer. 
 
 21, I was compofed and comfortable moft of 
 the day ; free from thole gloomy damps that 1 an 
 frequently exercifed with : had freedom and com- 
 fort in prayer, feveral times ; efpecially for Zion's 
 enlargement and profperity. And Oh, how re- 
 frelhing were thefe hopes to my foul ! Oh that 
 the kingdom of the. dear Lord might come. 
 
 April 22. My mind was remarkably free, from 
 melancholy damps, and animated in my work. 
 I found fuch frefh vigour and refolution in the 
 fervice of God, that the mountains feemed to be- 
 come a. plain before me. Oh, bleffed be God for 
 an interval of refrefhment, and fervent refolution 
 in my Lord's work ! In the evening, my foul 
 was refrefhed in fecret prayer, and my heart 
 drawn out for divine blefhngs ; efpecially for the 
 church of God, and his intereft among my own 
 people, and for dear friends in remote places. 
 Oh that Zion might .profper, and precious fouls 
 be brought home to God ! 
 
 April 25. Having appointed the next Lord's 
 day for the adminiflration of the Lord's-fupper, 
 this day, was fet apart for folemn fajiing and 
 prayer, to implore the blcfifing of God upon our 
 defigri of renewing covenant with him, and with 
 one another; and to intreat that his divine pre- 
 fence might be with us in oar defigned approach 
 to his table. 
 
 The folcmnity^wasobferved, not only by thofe 
 who propofed to communicate, but by the whole 
 congregation. — In the former part of the day, I 
 endeavoured to open to my people the nature of 
 a/ay?, and to inltrud them in the duties of fuch 
 a folemnity. — In the afternoon 1 infifted uoon 
 the fpecial reafons there were for our now engag- 
 ing in thefe folemn exercifes^; both in regard of 
 the need we ilood in of divine afliltance, in order 
 
 to 
 
L «76 J 
 
 to a due preparation for the facred ordinance 5 
 and in refpeft of the manifefl decline of God's 
 work here, as to the effeftual conviftion andcon- 
 verfion of finners, there having been few of lats 
 deeply awakened out of a flate of fecurity. 
 
 The worfliip of God was attended with great 
 folemnity and reverence, with much tendernefs 
 and many tears, by the truly religious : and there 
 was fome appearance of divine power upo-n thofe 
 who had been awakened fome time before. 
 
 After repeated prayer and attendance upon the 
 word of God, I led them to a folemn renewal of 
 their baptifmal covenant, wherein they had explif 
 citly and publlckly given up themfelves to God, 
 the Father, Son, and Holy Ghoft, avouching 
 him to be their God; and at the fame time re- 
 nouncing their Heathenifh vanities, their idola- 
 trous Sind fuperjiitious pradices, and folemnly eri- 
 gaging to lake the word of God for the rule of their 
 lives, promifing to walk together in love, to 
 watch over themfelves, and one another; to lead 
 lives of ferioufnefs and devotion, and todifcharge 
 the relative dyities incumbent upon them. 
 
 This folemn tranfaftion was attended with 
 much ferioufnefs ; and at the fame time with the 
 utmolt readinefs and dfearfulnefs ; and an union 
 and harmony of foul, feemed to crown the 
 whole. 
 
 April 26. In the evening I catechifed thofe 
 that weredefigned tp partake of the Lord's-fupper 
 the next day, upon the inftitution, nature, and 
 end of that ordinance, and had abundant fatisfac- 
 lion refpe6ling their knowledge. They likewifc 
 appeared, in general, to have an affefting fenfe 
 of the folemnity of this facred ordinance, and to 
 be humbled under a fenfe of their own unworthi- 
 nefs to approach to God in it; andearneftly corv- 
 cerned that they may be duly prepared for an at- 
 tendance upon it. Their hearts were full of love 
 one toward another, and that was the frame of 
 mind they feemed much concerned to maintain, 
 and bring to the Lord's table with them. 
 I adminiftercd ihc/acramcnl of the Lord's fup- 
 
 pcr 
 
C '77 J 
 
 per to tnjtnty three pcrfons of the Indians, (the 
 number of men and women being near equal) 
 divers others, to the nuruber o^ Jive or fix, being 
 now abfent at the Forks of Delaware, 
 
 Tlie ordinance was attended with great folem*- 
 nity, and with a moft defirable tendernefs and 
 aflPeition. And it was remarkable, that in the 
 performance oi the/acrameniai actions, efpecially 
 in the diflribution of the dread, they feemed to be 
 affefted in a moft lively manner, as if " Chrift 
 had been" realljv " crucified before them.." And 
 the words of the inllitution, v/hen repeated and 
 enlarged upon, feemed to be entertained with 
 the fame full and frm belief and affeftionale en- 
 gagement of foul, as if the Lord Jelus Chrillhim* 
 lelf had perjonally fpoken to them. 
 
 Having re fled Tome time after the adminiftraticn 
 of the facrament, 1 walked from houfe to houfe, 
 and converfed particularly with mofl of the com^ 
 iuunicanis^ and found they had been almoft univer- 
 fally refrefhed at the Lord's table ** as V7iiu nc-^T" 
 wine." And never did I fee fuch an appearance 
 of Chrifian love among any people in all my life. 
 It was fo remarkable, that one might well hav6 
 cried with an agieeable furprize, *' Behold hov<r 
 they love one another!" 
 
 Toward night I difcourfed oh Tit. ii 14, and 
 infifled on the immediate defign of Chrift^s death^ 
 viz» " That he might redeem his people from ali 
 iniquity." 
 
 This appeared to be a feafon of divine power. 
 The religious people were much refreftied, and 
 feemed remarkably tender and affe6tionate, full of 
 love, joy, peace, and defires of being compleatly 
 <* redeemed from all iniquity ;" fo that fome of 
 them afterwards told me-, " they had never fck 
 the like before." — ConviftionS alfo appeared to be 
 revived in many inftances ; and divers perfons 
 "were awakened whom \ had never obferved 
 under any religious impreflions before. 
 
 Such was the influence which attended our 
 affembly, that it feemed grievous to conclude the 
 public worfhip. And the congregation when dif- 
 
 miffed'j 
 
C ,78 J 
 
 ftiined, although it was then almofl dark, appear- 
 ed fo loth to leave the place that had been render- 
 cdfo d ar to them by the benefits enjoyed, while 
 that quickening influence diflilled upon them. 
 
 April 28, 1 concluded the folemnity with a 
 difcourfe upon John xiv. 15. " If ye love me, 
 keep my corBmandments." At which time there 
 appeared great tendernefs in the audience in 
 general, but efpecially in \.\\q communicants*— -—^(y 
 how free, how engaged and affeftionate did thefe 
 appear in the fervice of God! they feemed will- 
 ing to have their ««^ ears bored to the door-pods 
 of God's houfe," and to be his fervants for 
 ever. ^ 
 
 Obferving numbers in this excellent frame, I 
 thought it proper to improve this advantageous 
 leafon, as Hezekiah did his great pajovtr^ 
 (2 Chron. xxxi.) in order to promote the bleffed 
 reformation begun among them; and accoidingly 
 propofed to theiu, that they fhould rtntwtdly enter 
 into covenant before God, that they would watch 
 over themfelves and one another. And efpecially 
 that they would watch againft the fin of drunken* 
 ne/s, (the fin that eafily befets them.) — They 
 chearfuUy complied with the propofal, and expli- 
 citly joined in that covenant: whereupon I pro- 
 ceeded in the raoft folemn manner to call God to 
 zvitne/s, their facred engagement, minded them of 
 the greatnefs of the guilt they would contrafl: in 
 the violation of it ; and that God would be a 
 terrible zt>z7w^ again ft thofe who fiiould prefum« 
 to do fo, in the ** great and notable day of the 
 Lord." 
 
 It was a feafon of amazing folemnity, and a 
 divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole 
 aflembly 1 Affeftionate fighs, and tears were fre- 
 quent in the audience ; and I doubt not but many 
 filent cries were fent up to the fountain of grace^ 
 for grace fufficient to thefe folemn engagements. 
 
 £On Tuefday he went to Elifabeth-Town, ta: 
 attend the meeting of the Prefbytery and fpent 
 tKe time, while abfent from his people, in a free 
 and comforiable Hate of mind.J 
 
 May 
 
i m 1 
 
 May 3. I rode from Elifabeth«Town home t<j 
 my people, at Cranberry ; whither they are now 
 removed, and where, I hope, God will fettle 
 them as a Chriilian congregation. I was rcfrefh- 
 ed in lifting up my heart to God, while riding ; 
 and enjoyed a thankful frame of fpirit. 
 
 . May 4. My people being now removed to their 
 lands.', I this day vifited them, and preached to 
 them from Mark iv. 5- Endeavouring to fhew 
 the reafon there was to fear, left many hopeful 
 beginnings in religion, might prove abortive, like 
 the " feed droped upon Ilony places.** 
 
 May 5. I vilited them again, and took care of 
 their worldly concerns, giving them diredions rc- 
 lating*to their bufinefs. 
 
 1 daily difcover more and more of what impor- 
 tance it is to their religious interefls, that they be- 
 come induftrious, acquainted with the affairs of 
 hujbandry, and able, in a good meafure, to raife 
 the neceffaries of life within thtmjdvts \ for their 
 prefent method of living greatly expofcs them to 
 temptations of various kinds. 
 
 May 7* I fpent mod of the day in writing, as 
 ufual, and enjoyed fome freedom in my work. I 
 was favoured with fome comfortable meditations, 
 this day, and in the evening, was in a fweet com- 
 pofed frame of mind : plealed and delighted to 
 leave all with God, refpc6ling myfelf, for lime 
 and eternity^ and refpefting the people of my 
 charge and dear friends : I had no doubt but that 
 God would take care of me, and of his own in- 
 tereft among my people ; and was enabled to ufe 
 freedom in prayer, as a child with a tender 
 father. 
 
 8, In the evening I was refrefhed and enjoyed 
 a tender melting frame in fecret prayer, wherein 
 my foul was drawn out for the interefl of Zion, 
 and comforted with the lively hope of the appear- 
 ing of the kingdom of the great Redeemer. Thefe 
 were fweet moments : I felt almoll loth to go to 
 bed, and grieved that fleep was necelfary. How- 
 ever, I lay down with a tender reverential fear o^ 
 Godj fenfible that *' his favour is life," and his 
 
 fmilei 
 
I -So ] 
 
 fTTiiles better than all that earth can boafl of, in- 
 finitely better than life itfelf. 
 
 9. I preached from John v. 40. in the open 
 wildernefs ; the Indians having as yet no houfe 
 for public worfliip in this place, nor fcarce any 
 Jhdter for themfelves. , Divine truth made confi- 
 derable impreflions upon the audience, and it was 
 a feafon of folemnity, tcndernefs, and affeftion, 
 I baptized one man this day, (the conjuierand 
 niurderer mentioned before) who appears to be 
 fuch a remarkable inflance of divine grace, that I^ 
 cannot omit fome brief account of him. 
 
 He lived near, and fometimes attended me in 
 the Forks of Delaware for more than a year to- 
 gether : but was extremely attached to llrong 
 drink, and feemed to be no ways reformed by the 
 means 1 ufed with him. In this time he likewile 
 murdered a young Indian, which threw him into 
 a kind of horror and defperation, fo that he kept 
 at a diftance from mc, and re f ufed to hear me 
 preach for feveral months together, till I had an 
 opportunity of converfing freely with him, and 
 giving him encouragement, that his fin might 
 be forgiven for Chrifl's fake. 
 
 But that which was the worft, was his conjura" 
 tion. He was one of them who are called />oa;- 
 zvozos among the Indians: and notwithftanding 
 his frequent attendance upon my preaching, he 
 flill followed his old charms^ *' giving out that he 
 himfelf was fome great one, and to him they gave 
 heed," fuppofing him to be poffefTed of a great 
 poToer, So that when I have inllru6led them 
 refpefting the miracles wrought by Chrift, and 
 mentioned them as evidences of his divine 
 miffion, they have quickly obferved the wonders 
 of that kind which this man had performed by 
 his mairic charms ; whence they had a high 
 opinion of him, which leemed to be a fatal ob- 
 ftruftion to their receiving the gofpel. And I 
 often thought, it would be a great favour to the 
 #ndians, if God would take that wretch out of the 
 world : butGod only, whofe thoughts are not as 
 
 man's 
 
C .8. I 
 
 jnan*s thoughts," has been pleafed to take a much 
 more defirablc method ; a method agreeable to hi« 
 own merciful nature, and, I trufl, advantageous 
 to his own intereft among the Indians, as well at 
 to the poor foul himfelf. 
 
 The firft genuine concern for his foul that ever 
 appeared in him, was excited by feeing my inter* 
 preter and his wife baptized at the Forks of Dela- 
 ware, July 21, 1745. Which fo prevailed upon 
 him that he followed me down to Crofweekfung 
 in the beginning of Auguft in order to hear mc 
 preach, and there continued for leveral weeks, in 
 the feafon of the moft pov/erful awakenings 
 among the Indians ; at which time he was mor« 
 effeftually awakened : and then, upon this "feel- 
 ing the word of God in his heart," (as he ex- 
 prelTes it,) his fpirit of conjuration left him entire- 
 ly ; that he has had no more power of that nature 
 fince, than any other man. And he declares that 
 he does not fo much as know how he ufed to 
 charm and conjure ; and that he could not do 
 any thing of that nature if he was ever fo de- 
 iirous. 
 
 He continued under conviftions all the fall, 
 and former part of the winter paft, but was not 
 fo deeply exercifed till January; and then the 
 word of God took fuch hold upon him, that he 
 knew not what to do, nor where to turn.— He 
 told me, that when he ufed to hear me preach 
 from time to tijnc in the fall of the year, my 
 preaching pricked, his heart, but did not bring 
 him to {0 great diftrefs, bccaufe he ftill hoped he 
 could do fomething for his own relief: but now, 
 he faid, 1 drove him up into '' fuch a (harp cor- 
 ner," that he had no way to turn. 
 
 He continued conftantly under the heavy bur- 
 den of a wounded Jpirit, till at length he was 
 brought into the utmoft agony of foul. 
 
 After this he was brought to a kind of calmnefs, 
 
 his heavy burden was removed, and he appeared 
 
 perfeaiy fedate ; although he had no furc hope of 
 
 falvation. 
 
 1 obferved him to appear remarkably compofed, 
 
 Q and 
 
r i82 T 
 
 and thereupon aiked him how he did? He re- 
 plied, " It is done, it is done, it is alt done novv^." 
 I aflced him what he meant ? He anfwered, «< I 
 can never do any more to fave mylelf ; it is all 
 done for ever, I can do no more." I queried 
 ^ith him. whether he could not do a littU more 
 rather than go to hell. He replied, ^' My heart 
 is dead, 1 can never help myfelf." I aflced him, 
 wJiat he thought would become of him then ? 
 He anfwered, " 1 mud go to hell." I afked 
 him, il he thought it was right that God fhould 
 fend him to hell ? He replied, " Oh it is right. 
 The devil has been in me ever fince I was born." 
 I afked him, if he felt this when he was in fuch 
 great diftrefs the evening before ? He anfwered, 
 " No, I did not then think it was right. I 
 thought God would {zx\6 mc to hell, and that I 
 was then dropping into it ; but my heart quarrel- 
 led with God, and would not fay it wzs right h« 
 ihould fend me there. But now I know it is 
 right, for I have always ferved the devil, and my 
 heart has no goodnefs in it now, but it is as bad 
 as. ever it was.— —I thought I had fcarce ever 
 feen any peifon more effectually brought oif from 
 a dependance upon his own endeavours for falva- 
 tion. 
 
 In this frame of mind he continued for feveral 
 -days, pafling fentencc of condemnation upon 
 himfelf, and conftantly owning, that it would be 
 right he fhould be damned, and that he expelled 
 this would be his portion. And yet it was plain 
 he had a fecret hope of mercy, which kept him 
 not only from defpair, but from prefling diflrefs: 
 fo that inflead of being f^d and deje6led, his 
 very countenance appeared pleafant and agree- 
 •able. 
 
 It was remarkable in this feafonlhat he feemed 
 to have a great love to the people of God, and 
 noth:ntT aliened him fo much as the thoughts of 
 being fcperated from them. This feemed to be a 
 very dreadful part of the hell he thought himfelf 
 doomed to.' It was likewife remarkable, that 
 
 in this feaion he was moH diligent in the ufe of 
 
f »»3 ] 
 
 all means for his foul's falvation : although he 
 had the clearcfh view of the infujjickncy of means 
 to afford him help. 
 
 After he had continued in this frame of mind 
 more than a zoeek, while I was dilcourfing pub- 
 licly, he feemed to have a lively view of the ex- 
 cellency of Chrift, and the way of falvation by 
 him, which melted him into tears, and filled him 
 with, admiration, comfort, and praife to God; 
 fince which he has appeared to be an humble, 
 devoted, and affeftionate Chriflian ; ferious and 
 exemplary in his converfation and behaviour, fre- 
 quently complaining of his barrenncfs, his want 
 of fpiritual warmth, life, and aftivity, and yet 
 frequently favoured with quickening influenses. 
 And in all refpedls he bears the marks of one 
 *^ created anew in Chrill Jelus to good works." 
 
 His zeal for the cauie of Ciod was plcafiTig to^ 
 me, when he was with me at the Forltfs of Dela- 
 ware in February lall. There being an old In- 
 dian at the place, who threatened to bewitch me 
 and my people who accompanied me % this maa 
 prefently challenged him to dp his worfl, telling 
 him, that himfelf had been as great a conjurer ?^s he, 
 and that notwithftanding as foon as he felt that 
 word in his heart which th-jTe pcsph: loved, iuf 
 
 power of conjuring immediately left him And 
 
 lb it would you, faid he, if you did but once feel 
 it in your heart; and you have no power to 
 hurt them, not fo much as to touch one of them. 
 
 May lo. I rode to Allen's-Town, to afhfl in 
 the adminiflration of the Lord's fupper. In the 
 afternoon I preached from Tit. ii. 14. God wa^ 
 pleafed to carry me through with fome freedom : 
 and yet to deny me that enlargement I longed for. 
 In the evening my foul mourned, that I had 
 treated fo excellent a fubjeft in fo defeftive a 
 manner. And if my difcourfe had met with the 
 Utmofl applaufe from all the world, it would not 
 have given me any fdtisfa6Hon. Oh, it grieved 
 mc to think, that I had no more holy warmth^ 
 that I had been no more melted in difcourfing of 
 C-hrill's death, and the defign of it J Aher- 
 Q 2 wards 
 
r >84 ] 
 
 ^ards, I enjoyed freedom and fervency in fecret 
 ■and family prayer, and longed much for the pre- 
 fence of God to attend his word and ordinances 
 the next day. 
 
 Loid's day, May ii, I afiifted in the admini- 
 ftration of tlie Lo,id's fupper; but enjoyed little 
 enlargement. In the afternoon I went to t!ie 
 houfe of God weak and fick in fpul, as well as 
 ieeble in body : and longed, that the people 
 might be edified with divine truths, and that an 
 jboneft fervent leilimony might be borne for God; 
 .but knew not how it was pofhble for me to do 
 .any thing of that kind, to any good purpofe. 
 Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleafed to 
 give me affiftance, both in prayer and preaching} 
 God helped me to wreftie for his prefence in 
 prayer, and to tell him, that he had promifed, 
 «' "Where two or three are met together in his 
 name, there he would be in the midfl of them ;** 
 and pleadied, that for his truth's fake he would be 
 with us. And blcded be God, it was fweet to my 
 Joul, thus to plead, and rely on God*s promifes. 
 J difcourfed upon Luke ix. 30; ** And behold 
 there talked with him two men, which were 
 Mofes and Elias; who aDoeareci in glory, and 
 Ipake of his 'iefriafe, which^he ftiould accomplifh 
 :;^jfra^alcJI.^' l enjoyed rpe<;ial freedom, from 
 the beginning to the end of mv difcourfe. Things 
 pertinent to the fubjcft were abundantly prefented 
 to mv view ; and fueh a fullnefs of matter, that I 
 fcarce knew how to difmifs the various heads I 
 had occafion to touch upon. And, blefled be 
 ,the Lord, I was favoured with fome fervency and 
 power, as well as freedom; fo that the word of 
 God, feemed to awaken the attention of a flupid 
 audience, to a conhderable degree. I was in- 
 wardlv refrcihed with the confoUtions of God; 
 and could with my whole heart fay, " Though 
 there be no fruit in the vine, &c, yet will I re- 
 joice in the Lord." 
 
 May 16. Near ni^ht, I enjoyed fome agree- 
 able converfation with a dear minifler, which, I 
 truft, was blelled to my foul; and my heart was 
 
 warmedy 
 
C «»« .1 
 
 warmed, and my foul engaged to live to God; fo 
 that I longed to exert myfelf with more vigour, 
 than ever I had done in his caufc; and thofo 
 words were quickening to me, " Herein is my 
 Father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit.'* 
 Oh, my foul longed, and wiihed, and prayed, to 
 be enabled to live to God with conflancy and 
 ardour ! In the evening, God was plcafed to 
 fhine upon me in fccret prayer, and draw out my 
 
 . foul after himlelf ; and I had freedom in fupplica- 
 tion for myfelf, but much more in interceffioa 
 for others : fo that I was fwcetly conllrained to 
 fay, ** Lord, ufe me as thou wilt ; do as thoii 
 
 . wilt with me ; but Oh, promote thine own caufe I 
 Zion is thine ; Oh, viiit thine heritage ! Oh let 
 thy kingdom come 1 Oh let thy blefl'ed intercfl be 
 advanced in the world !" ' VVhen 1 attempted to.\ 
 look to God, refpe6ling my fettling in my congre- 
 gation, which. feems to be necelTary, and yet very 
 difficult, and contrary to my fixed intention for 
 years pad, as well as my difpofition, which has 
 been, and flill is, to go forth, and fpend my life 
 in preaching the gofpel from place to. place, and 
 gathering fouls afaroff'to jESusthe gr^at redeemer; 
 when I attempted, to look to God with regard to 
 thefe things, I could only fay, " The will of 
 the Lord be done : it is no matter for me.'* 
 The fame frame of mind I felt with rcfpeO; to- 
 another important affair I have lately had fomc 
 ferious thoughts of: 1 could fay, with the utmoll 
 cahnnefs and compofure, " Lord, if it be mofb 
 for thy glory, let me proceed in it;, but if thoU; 
 feefl that it will in any wife hinder my ufefulnefs 
 in thy caufe. Oh prevent my proceeding, lor all 
 I want, is luch circumflances as may beil capaci- 
 tate me to do lervice for God in the world.'*' 
 Oh, ^how Iweet was this evening to my foul ! I: 
 knew not how to go to bed ; and when got to bed^ 
 longed for fome way to improve time for God, ta 
 fome excellent purpofe,. 
 
 May 1^. 1 w^ajked out in the morning, and; 
 
 feli much of the fame fran:>e I enjoyed. the even-. 
 
 2 3 ii^S 
 
-I -^f 2 
 
 ing before: had my heart enlarged in praying for 
 the advancement of the kingdom of Chrifl,, and 
 found the utnioft freedom in leaving all my con- 
 cerns with God, 
 
 I find ciifcouragement to be an exreed Ing hindrance 
 to my fpJTituctl lervency and afieftion : but when 
 God enables me to find that 1 have done fome- 
 thing for himj this refrefhcs and animaies me, lo 
 that I could break through all hardfhips, undergo 
 any labours, and nothing feems too much either 
 to da or fufFer. But Oh, what a death it is, to 
 ihive, and drive : to be always in a Az^rrjy, and 
 yet do nothing. Alas, alas that time flies away, 
 and I do fo little for God! 
 
 Lord's-day, May 18. I felt my own utter in- 
 fufiiciency for my work: G(jd made me to fee, 
 that I was a child ; yea, that I was a fool. I dif- 
 courfed, both parts of the day, from Rev. iii. 20. 
 ** Behold, 1 itand at the door, and knock." 
 God gave m^e freedom and power in the latter 
 part of my (forenoon's difccurfe ; although, in 
 the former part of it, I felt pee vi{h and provoked 
 with the unmannerly behaviour of the luhite peo- 
 ple, who crouded in between my people and me. 
 But blefieci be God, I got thefe lliackles oil be- 
 fore the middle 6f m.y difcourfe, and w<is favour- 
 ed with a fweet frame of Ipirit in the latter part 
 of the exercife: was full of love, warmth, and 
 tcndernefs, in addrefTing my dear people.— In 
 the intermifhon-feafon I could not but difcourfe 
 to my people on the kindnefs and patience of 
 
 Chriit injlanding and knocking at the door, In 
 
 the evening, 1 was grieved, that I had done fo 
 little for God. Oh that I could be a flame ojf re 
 in the lervice of my God ! 
 
 May 22. In the evening I was in a frame fome- 
 what remarkable : I had apprehended for leveral 
 days, that it was a defign of providence 1 fhould 
 dwell among my people; and had in my own mind 
 thought totake provifion for it: and yet was never 
 quite plcafed with the thoughts of being confined 
 to one place. Neverthelels I feemcd to have 
 iome freedom^ becaufe the congregation was one 
 
 that 
 
C «l7 ] 
 
 that God bad enabled mc to gather from among 
 Pagans. For I never could feci any heedfim to 
 <« enter into other men's Liboais, and fettle 
 where the " gofpel was preached before;'* God 
 hds never given me any liberty in that rcipe^^ 
 either fincc, or for fome years before I be^^an ta 
 preach. But God having fucceeded my labours 
 and made me inftrumental of gathering a church 
 •for him among thefe Indians, I was ready to 
 think, it might be his defign to give me a quiet 
 fetilement. And this, conlidering the late fre- 
 quent failure of my fpirits, and the need 1 /hood 
 in of fome agreeable lociety, and my great defire 
 of enjoying conveniences for profitable (ludies 
 was not altogether dilagreeable to me. And al- 
 though I (till wanted to go about far and wide in 
 order to Ipicad the bleffed gofpel among benighted 
 fouls: yet I never had been fo willing to lettle 
 for more than five years paft, as J was in the 
 foregoing part of this week. But now thefe 
 tlioughts feemcd to be wholly dafhed to-pieces* 
 not by necefiity, but of choice; for it appeared 
 to me, that God's dealings towards me had fitted 
 me for a lifie of folitarinefs and hardlhip; it ap- 
 peared to me 1 had nothing te lofe, nothing to do 
 with eaith, and confequently nothing to lofe, by 
 a total renunciation of it: and it appeared jufl 
 right, that I Ihould be deflitute of houfe and 
 home, and many coiTiforts, which I rejoiced to 
 fee others of God's people enjoy. 
 
 At the fame time, I faw lo much of the excel-, 
 lency of Chrift's kingdom, and the infinite defi*^ 
 ratilcnefs of its advancement in the world that 
 it 1 wallowed up all my other thoughts ; and mav^e 
 me wdlmg to be a pilgrim or hermet in the wilder- 
 nefs, to my dyings moment; if 1 might thereby 
 promote the blclfed iitereil of the great Redeemer. 
 And if ever my foul prefented itfelf to'God for 
 his fcrvice, without any leferve of any kind, it 
 did fo now. The language of my thoughts (al- 
 thoLigh I fpake no words) now was, <• Here J am 
 Li) u, fend me j fend me to the ends of the earth; 
 fena me to the rou^h, the lavage Pagans of the 
 
 "wildexnef* j 
 
r '88 J 
 
 tvildcrnefs ; fend me from all that is called com- 
 fort in earth! fend me even to death itfelf, if it 
 be but in thy fervice, and to promole thy king- 
 dom," And at the fame time 1 had as quick and 
 lively a fenfe of the value of worldly comforts, 
 as ever I had ; but faw them infinitely over-match- 
 ed by the worth of Chrifl's kingdom, and the pio- 
 pagation of his bleffed gofpel. The quiet fettle- 
 ment, the certain place of abode, the tender 
 friendfliip, which I thought I might be likely to 
 enjoy, appeared as valuable to me, confidered 
 abfolutely and in themfelves, as ever before ; but 
 confidered comparatively, they appeared nothing ; 
 compared with an enlargement of Chrifl's king- 
 dom, they vanifhed like the flars before the rifing 
 fun. And the comfortable accommodations of life 
 appeared valuable and dear to me, yet I did fur- 
 render myfelf foul and body, to the fervice of 
 God, and promotion of Chrifl's kingdom ; though 
 it fhould be in the lofs of them all. I was con- 
 strained, and yet chofe, to fay, " Farewell, 
 friends and earthly comforts, the dearefl of them 
 all, if the Lord calls for it ; adieu, adieu; I'll 
 fpend my life, to my latefl moments, in caves. 
 and dens of the earthy if the kingdom of Chrift 
 may thereby be advanced.'* 
 
 I found extraordinary freedom at this time in 
 pouring out my foul to God, for his caufe ; and: 
 efpecially that hi« kingdom might be extended 
 among the Indians; and I had a ilrong hope, that 
 God would do it, I continued wrellhng with 
 God in prayer for my dear little flock here ; and 
 more efpecially for the Indians elfewhere ; as 
 well as for dear friends in one place and another ; 
 till it was bed time, and I feared I fhould hinder 
 the family. But Oh, with what relu6lancy did I 
 find myfelf obliged to confume time in fleep ! I 
 longed to be as ^jlame ojjire, continually glowing 
 in the divine fervice, preaching and building 
 «p Chrifl's kingdom, to my lateli^ my dying 
 moment. 
 
 May 23. In the afternoon I was in the fame 
 frame of mind, as in the evening before. The 
 
 gloiy 
 
t '89 3 
 
 glofy of Chrift's kingdom fo mucTi outfhone the 
 pleafure of earthly accommoJaiions an 1 enjoy- 
 ments, that they appeared comparativ'ely nothing^, 
 though in themlelves good and dehrabk^. My 
 foul was melted in fccret meditation and prayer, 
 and I found myfelf divorced from any part ia 
 this world ; fo that in thofe affairs that feemed of 
 the greated importance, in the prefent life, and 
 thofe wherein the lender powers of the mind are 
 moft fenhbly touched, I could only fiy, ** The 
 will of the Lord be done." Juft the fame that I 
 felt the evening before, I felt now the fame 
 freedom in prayer for the people of my charge, 
 for the propagation of the gofpel among the In- 
 dians, and for the enlargement of Zion in general, 
 and my dear friends in particuKir ; and longed to 
 burn out in one continued flame for God. In 
 the evening I was vifued by my Brother, John 
 Brainerd ; the firfl vifit I have received from any 
 near relative fince I have been a milBonary. 
 Blefled be God, if ever I filled up a day with 
 ftudiesand devotion, I was enabled to fill up this 
 day, 
 
 Lord's-day, May 25. I difcourfed both parts 
 of the day from John xii. 44 — 48. There was 
 iome degree of divine power attending the word 
 of God. Sundry wept and appeared confiderably 
 afFe£led : and one who had long been under fpiri- 
 tual trouble, obtained clearnefs and comfort, 
 ■and appeared to '' rejoice in God her Saviour.*^ 
 
 1 have reafon to hope, that God has lately 
 brought home to himfelf fundry fouls who had 
 long been under fpiritual trouble: tho' there 
 have been few inftances of perfons lately awaken- 
 ed out of a flate of fecurlty. And thofe comfort- 
 ed of late, feem to be brought in, in a move fi^.eni 
 way, neither their Concern nor coniolation being 
 fo powerful znd remarkable, as -appeared among 
 thofe wrought upoii in the beginning, 
 
 June 6. I difcouifed to my people from part of 
 Ifa. liii. The divine prefence appeared to bo 
 amongft us. Divers perfons were much melted 
 and refrcfhed ; and one man in particular, wai 
 
 now 
 
I *9« J 
 
 now brought to fee and feely in a very lively 
 manner, the impoiribility of his doing any thing 
 to help himfelf, or to bring him into the favour 
 of God by his tears, prayers, and other religious 
 performances. 
 
 June 7. I lode to Freehold to alTift Mr. Ten- 
 nent in the adminillration of the Lord's-fuppcr, 
 In the afternoon I preached from Plal. Ixxiii* 
 28. God gave me fome freedom and warmth in 
 my difcourfe; and I truft, his prefence was in 
 the affembly. I was comfortably compofed, 
 and enjoyed a thankful frame of fpirit ; and my 
 foul was grieved that 1 could not render 
 fomething to /God for his benefits beftowed. 
 O that I could be fwallowed up in his praife! 
 Lord's-day, June 8. I fpent much time, in 
 the morning, in fecret duties; but between hope 
 and fear refpetting the enjoyment of God in th« 
 bufmefs of the day, I was agreeably entertained, 
 in the forenoon, by a difcourie from Mr. Tennent, 
 and felt melted and refrelhed. In the feafon of 
 communion, I enjoyed fome comfort; and efpe- 
 cially in ferving one of the tables. Bleffed be 
 the Lord, it was a time of refrejhing to me, and I 
 truft to many others. A number of my dear peo- 
 ple fat down by themfelves at the laft table ; at 
 which time God fecmed to be in the midft of 
 them. And the thoughts of what God had don» 
 among them v/ere refrelhing and nieiting to mo. 
 In the afternoon, God enabled me to preach with 
 uncommon freedom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. Through, 
 the great goodnefs of God, I was favoured with 
 a conltant flow of matter, and proper expreffions* 
 In the evening, I could not but rejoice in GocL 
 and blefs him for the manifeftations of grace iii 
 the day paft. Oh it was a fweet and folemn day ! 
 a feafon of comfort to the godly, and of awaken- 
 ing to other fouls. 
 
 June 9. I preached the concluding fermon from 
 Gen, V, 24. " And Enoch walked with God.'* 
 God gave me enlargement and fervency in my 
 difcourie ; fo that 1 was enabled to fpeak with 
 plainnefs and power. Praifed be the Lord, it 
 
 wag 
 
[ >9« T 
 
 was a fweet meeting, a defirable afTembly, f 
 found m) ttrength renewed, and .engthened out, 
 even to a wonder ; fo that 1 felt much flronger 
 at the conclufion, than in the beginning. I have 
 great reafon to blefs God for this folemnity, 
 wherein 1 have found alliflance in addrefling 
 others, and fweetnefs in my own foul. 
 
 To-day a confiderable number of my people 
 met together early in a retired place in the 
 woods, and prayed, fang, and converfed of di- 
 vine thing* ; and were feen by fome of the while 
 people to be afFe6led and engaged j and divers 
 of them in tears. 
 
 Afterwards they attended the concluding ex« 
 ercifes of the facramental folemnity, and then 
 returned home, " rejoicing for all the goodnefs 
 of God," they had feen and felt : fo that this 
 appeared to be a profitable, as well as a comforta- 
 ble feafon to many of my congregation, 
 
 June 13. I came away from the meeting of 
 the, Indians this day, rejoicing and blefling God 
 for his grace manlfelted at this fealon. 
 
 The fame day I baplized jive perfons, three 
 adults and two children. One of thefe was the 
 very agtd zvoman of whom I gave an account in 
 my Journal of Dec. 26. She now gave mc a 
 very punftual, rational, and fatisfa^lovy account 
 of the remarkable change fhe experienced fome 
 months after the beginning of her concern. And 
 although fhe was become fo childiih through old 
 age, that I could do nothing in a way of quef- 
 tioning with her ; yet when 1 let her alone to 
 go on with her own (lory, flie could give a very 
 diftin6t relation of the many and various exercifes 
 of foul Ihe had experienced ; fo deep were the 
 impreffions left upun her mind by that influence 
 fhe had been under. And 1 have great reafon to 
 hope, (he is dorn anew, in her old age, (he being, 
 I preiume, upwards of /ow7yc<?r^, 
 
 June J 4. 1 rode to Kinglton, to adifl the Rev. 
 Mr. Wales in the adminillration of the Lord's 
 fupper. In the afternoon I preached ; but almoft 
 fainted in the pulpit ; yet God llrengthened me 
 
 when 
 
I 192 3 
 
 Vlien I was jufl gone, and enabled me to fpeak 
 bis word with freedom, fervency, and application 
 to the confcience. And pyaifed be the. Lord; 
 *« out of wec.knefs I was made ftrong" I enjoyed 
 fweetnefs, in and after public worfhip ; but was 
 extremely tired. Oh, how many are the mer- 
 cies of the Lord ! « To them that have no mighty 
 he increafeth ftrength." 
 
 Lord's-day, June 15. I was in a deje£led 
 fpiritlefs frame, that I could not hold up my 
 head, nor look any body in the face. Yet I ad- 
 miniilered the Lord's iuppcr at Mr. Wales's de- 
 fire.: and found myfelf in a good meafure re- 
 lieved of my preffing load, when 1 came to afk 
 a blethng on the elements. Here God gave me 
 enlargement, and a tender afFeftionate fenfe of 
 fpiritual things: To that it was a feafon of com- 
 fort to me, and I trufr, more fo to others. In 
 the afternoon I preached to a vaR multitude 
 from Rev. xxii. 17. God helped me to ofier a 
 teflimony for himfelf, and to leave Tinners inex- 
 cufable in neglecting his grace. I was enabled 
 to fpeak with fuch freedom, fluency and clear- 
 nefs, as commanded the attention of the great, I 
 was extremely tired, in the evening, but enjoyed 
 compofure and fweetnefs. 
 
 June 16. I preached again ; and God helped 
 me amazingly, fo that this was a refrefhing lea- 
 fon to my loul and others. For ever blefied be 
 God for help afforded at this time, when my 
 body was fo weak, and there was lo large an af- 
 fembly to hear. 
 
 June 19. 1 vifited my people with two of the 
 Reverend correfpondents : 1 fpent fome time in 
 converiation with them upon Ipirirual things ; 
 and took care of their worldly concerns. 
 
 This day makes up a complete year from the 
 firft time of my preaching to ihefe Indians in 
 New-Jerfey. What amazing things has God 
 wrought in this time for thcfe poor people ! 
 What a furprifing change appears in their tem- 
 pers and behaviour! How are lavage Pagans 
 transformed into affectionate, and humble Chrif*» 
 
 tians ! 
 
[ '93 ] 
 
 tians ! and their drunken and Pagan bowlings, 
 turned into fervent prayers and praifes to God ! 
 They ". who were fometimes darknefs, are now 
 become light in the Lord*'* May they walk as 
 children of the light, and of the day/ And now 
 to him that is of power to (lablifh them according 
 to the gofpel, and the preaching of Chrifl, to 
 God only wife, be glory through Jefus Chrifl, 
 for ever and ever ! Amen." 
 
 Before I conclude, I would make a few gene- 
 rat remarks upon what to me appears worthy of 
 notice. 
 
 And, firji, I cannot but take notice that I 
 ha-ve ever fince my firft coming among theic In- 
 dians, been favoured with that adi fiance, which 
 (to me'^ is uncommon, in preaching Chrijl crucified, 
 and making him the centra and rnark to whicii Ai 
 my difcouries were directed. 
 
 It was the principal fcope of all my difcourfcs 
 for feveral months, (after having taught the peo- 
 ple fomething of the being and perfe6liorr3 of 
 God, his creation of man in a ftate of rettitude 
 and happinefs, and the obligations mankind were 
 thence under to love and honour him,) to lead 
 them into an acquaintance with their deplorable 
 flate by nature ; tneir inability to deliver them- 
 felves from It : the utter infuHiciency or any ex- 
 ternal reformation, or of any religious perform- 
 ances to bring them into the favour of God, 
 And thence to fhew them their abfolute need of 
 Chrift to fave them from the mifery of the fdlleri 
 
 ftate. To open his all-fufficiency and willmg- 
 
 nefs to fave the chief of Tinners — Thc/rf.'«^/j 
 and riches of his grace, propofed " without mo- 
 ney, and without price." — And thereupon to 
 prels thfcm zvithout dtiay to betake themiclves to 
 him, under a ienie of their mifery and undone 
 
 eftate, foi relief and everlafling falvation. .' 
 
 And to fhew them the abundant encouragement 
 the gofpel propofes toperifhing, hclplels linners, 
 fo to do. 
 
 And I have often remarked, that whatever 
 
 fubje6tlhave bsen upon, after having fpent time 
 
 R fuificicnt 
 
[ 194 1 
 
 TufTicient to explain the truths contained therein, 
 I have heen naturally and eafly led to Ghrift, as 
 "the fubjiance oF every one. If I treated on the 
 being and glorious perfeftions of God, 1 was 
 thence naturally led to difcourfe of Chrift as the 
 only " way to the Father. "~lf I attempted to 
 open the mifer\^ of our fallen iiate, it was na- 
 tural from thence to fhew the neCeflity of Chrift 
 to undertake foi us, to atone for our fins, and to 
 redeem us from the power of them.— If I taught 
 the commands of God, and fhevved our violation 
 of them, this brought me in the moft eafy way, 
 to fpeak of the Lord Jefus Chrift, as one who 
 had '* magnified the law" we had broken, and 
 who was " become the end of it for righteoufnefs, 
 to every one that believes," And never did I 
 iind fo much freedom and afiiflance in making all 
 the various lines of my difcourfes meet together, 
 and centre in Chrift, as 1 have frequently done 
 among thefe Indians, 
 
 I have frequently been enabled to reprefentthe 
 diyine glory, the infinite precioufnefs, and tran- 
 Tcendent lovellnefs of the great Redeemer; the 
 fuitableneis of his pcrfon and purchale to fupply 
 the wants, and anlwer the utmofl defires of im- 
 mortal fouls.— To open the infinite riches of his 
 grace, and the wonderful encouragement pro- 
 pofed in the gofpel to unworthy, helplefs fin- 
 ners. — To call, invite, and befeech them to come 
 and give up themfelves to him, and be reconci- 
 led to God through him.— To expoftulate with 
 them refpe£ling their negleft of one fo infinitely 
 lovely, and freely offered. — And this in fuch a 
 manntr, with fuch freedom, pertinency, pathos, 
 and application to the confcience, as I never 
 could have made myfelf mafter of by the moft 
 affiduous application. And have often at fuch 
 feaions been furprizingly helped ivx adapting my 
 difcourfes to the capacities of my people, and 
 bringing them down into fuch eafy, vulgar, and 
 familiar methods of expreflion, as has rendered 
 them intelligible even to Pagans, 
 
 Secondly, 
 
i 
 
 C »95 ] 
 
 Sf.condfy, It is worthy of remark, that numbers 
 ©f thefe people are brought to a ftrift compliance 
 with the rules of morality and fodriety, and to a. 
 confcientious performance of the external duties 
 of Chriftianity ; without their having them fre* 
 quently inculcated upon them, and the contrary 
 vices particularly expofed. 
 
 God was pleafcd to give the grand gofpel 
 truths fuch a powerful iiifluence upon their 
 minds, that their lives were quickly reformed, 
 without my fpending time in repeated harangues 
 upon external duties. There was indeed no room 
 for any difcourfcs but thofe that refpefted the 
 ejfentials of religion, and the experimental know- 
 ledge of divine things, while there were fo ma- 
 ny inquiring daily, not how they fhould regu- 
 late their txternal cov\6.\.\€t : but how ihey fhould 
 efcape from the wrath to come, — obtain an effec- 
 tual change of heart,— get an interefl in Chrift, 
 and come to the enjoyment of eternal bleflednefs. 
 So that my great work flill was to lead them into 
 a further view of their total depravity ; to (hew 
 that there was no manner of goodnefs in them : 
 no good difpofitions nor dehres ; no love to God, 
 nor delight in his commands ; but on the con- 
 trary, hatred, enmity, and all manner of wicked- 
 nefs : And at the fame time to open to thetn the 
 glorious remedy provided in Chrift for helplefs 
 perifhing finners, and offered freely to thofe who 
 have no goodnefs of their own, no " works of 
 righteoufnefs," to reconimend them to God, 
 
 When thefe truths w'ere felt at heart, there 
 was no vice unreformed, no external duty neg- 
 
 lefted.i Drunkennefs, the darling vice, was 
 
 broken off, and fcarce an inflance of it known 
 for months together. The practice oi hujbands 
 and wives in putting away each other, and taking 
 others in their (lead, was quickly reformed. The 
 fame might be faid of all other vicious praftices. 
 The reformation was general : and all Ipringinj^ 
 from the internal influence of divine truths upon 
 their hearts; not becaufe they had heard thefe 
 R 2 vices 
 
t '96 ] 
 
 vices particularly expofed, and repeatedly fpoken 
 
 againl'l. 
 
 So that happy experience, as well as the word 
 of God. and the example of Chrift and his apof- 
 lles, have taught me, that the preaching, which 
 is befl fuited to awaken in mankind a lively ap- 
 prehenfion of their depravity and milery, to ex- 
 cite them earneftly to feek after a change of 
 heart, and \o Jly for refuge to Chrift. as the only" 
 hope Jet before ihcm^ is like to be moft fucc?fsful 
 toward the reformation of their external conduft. 
 I have found that clofe addrelfes and (olemn ap- 
 plications of divine truths to the confcience. ftrike 
 death to the root of all vice ; while fmooth and 
 plaulible harangues upon moral virtues and ex- 
 ternal duties, at bcfl do no more than lop off the 
 branches of corruption. 
 
 I do not intend, by what I have obferved, ta 
 reprefent the preaching of morality, and prelling 
 perfons to the external performance of duty, to 
 be unnecefTary and ufelefs at any time; and cf- 
 peciaily at times when there is lefs of divine 
 power attending the means of grace. It is doubt- 
 lels among the things that "ought to be done, 
 «' while others are not to be left undone.** 
 But what I principally dcfign is to difcover a 
 plain matter of fatl, viz. That the external com- 
 pliance witl) the rules of Chrifiianity, appearing 
 among my people, are not the effeft of any merely 
 ^rational view of tlie beauty oi morality y but of the 
 internal influence that divine truths liave had 
 upon their'hearts. 
 
 Thirdly^ It is remarkable, that God has fo con- 
 tinued diid renewed the fnowers of his grace : So 
 quickly let up his kingdom among theTe people; 
 and fo frniled upon them in relation to their ac- 
 quirement of knowledge, hot h di .'ineand human. 
 It is now near a year iince the beginning of this 
 gracious out-pouring of the divine Spirit among 
 them : and although it has often feemed to de- 
 cline for lome fhori time, yet the fliower was re- 
 newedj and the work of grace revived again : 
 io that a divine influence feems flill to attend the 
 
 means 
 
[ *97 3 
 
 means of grace, in a greater or lefs degree j 
 whereby religious perfons are refrefhed, ftrength- 
 cned, and eltabliftied, conviftions revived and 
 promoted in many inftances, and fome newly 
 awakened from time to time. Although it muft 
 be acknowledged that for fome time paft, there 
 has appeared a more manifeft decline of this 
 "work. Yet (bleffed be God) there is ftill an ap- 
 pearance of divine power, a defirable degree of 
 tendernefs and devotion in our affemblies. 
 
 And as God has continued the fhowers of his 
 grace among this people ; fo he has with un- 
 common quicknefs fet up his vifible kingdom in 
 the midit of them. I have now baptized, fince 
 the conclufion of my lafl Journal, thirty perions, 
 fifteen adults, and fifteen children. Which ad- 
 ded to the number there mentioned, makes fe- 
 venty-feven perfons ; whereof thirty-eight are 
 adults, and thirty-nine children ; and all within 
 the fpace of eleven months paft. And have bap- 
 tized no adults, but fuch as appeared to have a 
 work of grace in their hearts; I mean fuch as 
 have had the experience not only of the awaken- 
 ing, but of the renewing and comforting influ- 
 ences of the divine Spirit. 
 
 Much of the goodnefs of God has appeared \n 
 relation to their acquirement of knowledge, both 
 in religion and in common life. There has been 
 a. wonderful third after Chrijlian kiiowltdge. among 
 them, and an eager defire of being inflru6led. 
 This has promoted them to aflc many pertinent as 
 well as important queflions. Many of the doc- 
 trines I have delivered, they have queried with 
 me about, in order to gain furtherlight into them: 
 and have from time to time manifeiled a good 
 underftanding of them, by their anfwers to the 
 queftions propofed. 
 
 They have likewife taken pains, and appeared 
 remarkanly apt in learning to fing Plaims, .;nd 
 are now^ able to fmg with a good degree of de- 
 cency in the worfhip of God. 
 
 They have alfo acquired a confiderable decree 
 of ufci'ul knowledge in the affairs of co.nmoni 
 ^Z life; 
 
C 198 1 
 
 Jife : fo that they now appear like rational crea- 
 tures, fit for human fociety, free fiom that fa- 
 vage roughnefs and brutifh llupidity, which ren- 
 dered them very difagreeable in their Pagan 
 ftate. 
 
 And as they are defirous of inftruftion, and 
 furprifingly apt in the reception of it, fo divine 
 providence has fmiled upon them in regard of 
 
 proper means in order to it.. The attempts 
 
 made for a fchool among them have fucceeded, 
 and a kind providence has fent them a fchool- 
 mafter, of vi^hom I may juftly fay, T know of 
 '* no man like-minded, who will naturally care 
 for their ilate." 
 
 He has generally thirty or thirty- five children 
 in his fchool ; and when he kept an evening 
 fchool (as he did while the length of the evenings 
 would admit of it) he had fifteen or twenty peo- 
 ple, married and fingle. 
 
 The children learn with furprifing readinefs ; 
 fo that their mafier tells me, he never had any 
 Englifli fchool that learned, in general, near fo 
 fall. There were not above two in thirty, al- 
 though fome of them were very fmall, but what 
 learned to know all the letters in the alphabet 
 diflinftly, within three days after his entrance 
 upon his bufinefs ; and divers in that fpace learn- 
 ed to fpell confiderably ; and fome of them fince 
 the beginning of February laft (at which time 
 the fchool was fet upi have learned fo much, 
 that they are able to read in a Pfalter or Tefta- 
 ment without Ipelling. 
 
 They are inftruftedin the duty of fecret prayer, 
 and moff of them conftantly attend it night and 
 morning, and are very careful to inform their 
 mailer if they apprehend any of their little fchool 
 mates negleft that religious exercife. 
 
 Fourthly, It is -worthy to be noted, that amidfl 
 Jo peat a work of convi6lion, — fo much concern 
 and religious affeftion, there has been no prevo' 
 Uncy, nor indeed any confiderabl-e appearance of 
 fafje religion, (if 1 may fo term it) or heats of 
 imaginatiQiij intemperate zeal, and fpiritual pride ; 
 
 which 
 
h >99 ] 
 
 winch corrupt mixtures too often attend the revi- 
 val of religion ; and that there have been fo very- 
 few inflanccs of fcandalous behaviour among 
 thole who have appeared lerious. The religious 
 concern that perlons have been under, has gene- 
 rally been rational and jvji ; arifing from afenfeof 
 their finSj and the divine difplealure on the ac- 
 count of them ; as well as their utter inability to 
 deliver themfelves from the mifery they felt and 
 feared. And it is remarkable, although the con- 
 cern of many peifons has been very great and 
 prelTmg, yet 1 have never feen any thing like dcf- 
 pair attending it in any one infiance : whence it 
 is apparent, there is not that danger of perfons 
 being driven into defpair under fpirituai trouble^ 
 (unlefs in cafes of melancholy,) that the world in 
 general is ready to imagine. 
 
 The comfort perfons have obtained after their 
 diftreffes, has likewifc in general appeared folid, 
 well-grounded, and fcriptural ; arifing from a 
 fpirituai znd fupernatural illumination of mind, — a 
 view of divine things as they are, — a complacency 
 of foul in the divine perfe6lions — and a peculiar 
 iatisfaftion in the zvay oj falvaiion by free grace in 
 the great Redeemer. 
 
 Their joys have feemed to rife from a variety of 
 views and confiderations of divine things, al- 
 though for fubftance the lame. 
 
 Some have at firft appeared to rejoice efpecially 
 in the unjdom of God, dilcovered in the way of 
 fdlvation by Chrift : it then appearing to them 
 <« a new and living way," a way they had 
 never thought, nor had any jufl conception of, 
 until opened to them by the fpecial influence of 
 the divine fpirit. And fome of them, upon a 
 Yiw ely fpirituai view of this way of falvation, 
 have wondered at their pafl folly in feeking falva- 
 tion other ways, and have admired that they 
 never faw this way of falvation before which now- 
 appeared fo plain and eajy. 
 
 Others have had a more general view of the 
 beauty and excellency of Chriil, and have had 
 their fouls delighted with an apprchenfion of his 
 
L «oo ] 
 
 glory, as unfpeakably exceeding all they had ever 
 conceived before ; yet without Tingling out (as it 
 were) any one of the divine perfections in parti- 
 cular ; fo that although their comforts have feem- 
 ed to arife from a variety of views of divine glories, 
 Hill they vf^xQ fpiritual ^ndfupcrnatural views of 
 them. 
 
 What the Indians notions of God are, in their 
 Pagan-ftate, is hard, precifely to determine. I 
 have taken much pains to inquire of ray Chriftian 
 people, whether they, before their acquaintance 
 with Chriftianity, imagined whether there was a 
 plurality of great invilible powers, or whether 
 they fuppofcdbut one luch being, and worfhipped 
 him in a variety of fhapes : but cannot learn any 
 thing of them fo dillinft as to be fully fatisfying 
 upon the point. Their notions in that flate were 
 fo prodigioufly dark and confuted, that they 
 feemednot to know what they thought themfelves. 
 But fo far as 1 can learn, they had a notion of a 
 plurality of invihble deities, and paid fome kind 
 of homage to them promifcuoudy, under a great 
 variety of fhapes. And it is certain, thofe who 
 yet remain Pagans, pa v fome kind of fuperftitious 
 reverence to beafts, birds, fifhes, and even rep- 
 tiles ; that is, fome to one kind of animal, and 
 fome to another. They do not indeed fuppofe a 
 divine power ejferitial to thefe creatures, but that 
 fome invifible beings (I cannot learn that it is al- 
 ways one fuch being only, but divers) communi- 
 cate to thefe animals a great power, either one or 
 other of them, (juft as it happens) and fo make 
 thefe creatures the imnjediate authors of good lo 
 certain perfons. Whence fuch a creature be- 
 comes /acred to the perfons to whom he is fuppofed 
 to be the immediate author of good, and through 
 him they rauft worfhip the invifible powers, 
 though to others he is no more than another 
 creature. And perhaps another animal is looked 
 upon to be the immediate author of good to another^ 
 and confequently he muft worfhip the inviftble 
 powers in that animal. And I have known a 
 Pagan burn fine tobacco for inccnfe, in order to 
 
 appcafe 
 
L 201 ] 
 
 app^afe tl-.e anger of that, invi'fible power which 
 he fuppofed prefided over rattU-fnakes, bccaufe 
 one of thefe animals was killed by another Indian 
 near his houfe. 
 
 But I find, that in antient times, before the 
 coming of the white people, fome fuppofed there 
 was four invifible powers, who prefided over the 
 four corners of the earth. Others imagined the 
 Jltn to be the oniy deity, and that all things were 
 made by him : others at the fame time having a 
 confufed notion of a certain hody or fountain of 
 deity, fomewhat like the anima mundi, fo fre- 
 quently mentioned by the more learned antient 
 Heathens, diffufing itfelf to various animals, and 
 even to inanimate things, making them the im- 
 mediate authors of good to certain perfons. But 
 after the corning of the white people, they feem- 
 cd to fuppofe there were three deities, and three 
 only, becaufe they faw people of three different 
 kinds of complexion, i;i2. Eniglifii, Negroes, and 
 themfelves. 
 
 It is a notion pretty generally prevailing among 
 them, that it was not the fame. God marie them, 
 who made us ; but that they were made after the 
 white people ; which further fhews, that they 
 imagine a plurality of divine powers.——— 
 And I fancv they fuppofe their God gained fome 
 fpecial fkill by feeing the white people made, 
 and fo made them better; for it is certain they 
 look upon themfelves, and their methods of 
 living, (which, they fay, their God exprefsly 
 prefcribed,! as vaTiiy preferable to the white peo- 
 ple, and their methods. And hence they will 
 frequently fit and laugh at them, as being good 
 for nothing but to fatigue- themfelves with hard 
 lalDOur; while they enjoyed the fatisfaflion of 
 flretching themfelves on the ground, and fleeping 
 as much as they pleafe-; and have rio other trouble 
 than now and ihen to chafe the deer. Hence, by 
 the way, rrany of them look upon it as difgr^ceful 
 to ': cfii !•» "become Chriflian?. as it would be 
 e:''< .-^m.^d imong Chridians to become a Pagan: 
 and though they fuppofe our religion will do well 
 
 enough 
 
r 20* ] 
 
 enough for us, becaufe prefcribed by our Cod, 
 yet it is no ways proper for thern, becaufe not of 
 the fame make and original. 
 
 Tney feem to have fome confufed noiion of a 
 future ftatc, and many of tliem imagine that the 
 chichang, (i. e. the fhadovv,; or what furvives the 
 body, will at death go fouthward, and in an un- 
 known but curious place, will enjoy fome kind 
 of happinefs, fuch as hunting, feafling, dancing. 
 And what they fuppofe will contribute much to 
 their happinefs ia that ftate is, that they fhall 
 never be weary of thofe entertainments. It feems 
 by this notion of their going fouthward to obtain 
 happinefs, as if they had their courfe into thefe 
 parts from fome very cold climate, and found the 
 further they -wenl Jhuthtvard the more comfortable 
 they were: and thence concluded, that perfeft 
 felicity was to be found further towards the fame 
 point. 
 
 They feem to have fome faint notion oi rewards 
 9ind punifimentSf or at leaft happinefs and miftry in 
 a future ftate, that is, fome that I have converfed 
 "with, tho* others feem to know no fuch thing, 
 Thofe that fuppofe this, imagine that moft will 
 be happy, and thofe that are not fo, will be 
 punifhed only with privation, being excluded the 
 ^valls of that good world where happy fouls fhall 
 dwell. 
 
 Thefe rewards and punifhments they fuppofe 
 to depend entirely upon their conduft with rela- 
 tion to the duties of the fecond table, i. t* their 
 behaviour towards mankind, and not to have any 
 reference to any thing that relates to God. I 
 once confulted a very antient, but intelligent In- 
 dian upon this point, whether the Indians of old 
 times had fuppofed there was any thing of the man 
 that would furvive the body ? He replied, Yes. 
 I afked him, where they fuppofed its abode would 
 be? He rejilied, " It would go fouthward.'* I 
 afked him further, whether it would be happy- 
 there ? He anfwered, after fome confiderable 
 paufe, " that the fouls of good folks would be 
 happy, and the Couls of bad folks miferable.*' I 
 
 then 
 
r 'og 3 
 
 then afked him, w i o . called had folks f Hi& 
 anTwer was, "Thole olie. Real, quarrel w^th. 
 their neighbours, arc aukind to their friends and 
 efpecidUy lo aged parents, and, in a word, are a 
 plague to mankind." Theic were his bad f^^oiksj 
 but not a word was faid of iheir negletl of divine 
 woifhip, and their badnefs in that refpecl. 
 
 They have indeed lome kind of worQiip, are 
 frequently o^Qx'xn^ facrifices to fome fuppoled in- 
 vifib'wC powers, and are very ready to impute 
 their calamities iri the prefcnt world, to the 
 negieft of thefe facrifices ; but there is no appear- 
 ance of reverence and devotion in the homage 
 they pay them ; and what tney do of this nature, 
 feems to be done only to appeaic the anger of 
 their deities, to engage them to do them no hurt, 
 or at mod, only to invite thefe powers to fucceed 
 them in thofe enterprifes they are engaged in. 
 So that in offering thefe facrifices, they feem to 
 have no reference to a future ftate. And they 
 feem to imagine, that thole they call bad Jolks^ 
 are excluded from the company of good people 
 in that ftate, not fo much becaufe God is deter- 
 mined to punifh them for their fins of any kind, 
 as becaufe they would render others unhappy if 
 admitted to dwell with them. So that they are 
 excluded rather of necejfity, than by God atting as 
 a righteous judge* 
 
 Tliey give much heed to dreams, becaufe they 
 fuppofe thefe invifible powers give them diretlions 
 therein. They are likewife much attached to 
 the traditions of their fathers, vi^ho have iiiform- 
 ed them of divers miracles anciently wroupht, 
 which they firmly believe. They aifo mention 
 fome wonderful things which, they fay, have 
 happened fince the memory of fome who are now 
 living. One affirmed to me, that himfelf had 
 onre been dead four days, thatmofl of his friends 
 weie gathered together to his funeral, and that he 
 fhould have been buried., but that fome of his re- 
 lations who were fent for were rot arrived, 
 before whofe coming he came to life aorain. In 
 this time, he fays, he went to the place where 
 
 the 
 
C 204 1 
 
 ilie fun rifts^ (imagining the earth to be plain,) 
 and dire6llv ovc 'hdt pbce. at a great height in 
 the air, he was admitted, he (ays. into a great 
 houfe, which he fuppofes was feveral miles 
 in length, and (aw many wonderful things, j 
 
 What incieafe.^ their averfion to Chriftianity 
 is the influence their powmows have upon them, 
 Thefe are fuppofed to have a power of foretelling 
 future events, of recovering ihefick, and of charming 
 perfons to deaths And their l^^irir, in its various 
 operations, (eems to be a Saranical imitation of 
 the fpirit of prophecy that the church in early ages 
 was favoured with. 
 
 I have laboured to gain fome acquaintance with 
 this affair, and have for that end conCulted rhe 
 man mentioned in my Journal of Miy 9, who, 
 fmce his converfion to Chridianity, has en- 
 deavoured to give me the belt intelligence he 
 could of this matter. But it feems to be fuch a 
 myftcry of iniquity, tl^at 1 cannot well underliand 
 it; and, fo far as 1 can learn, he himfelf has not 
 any clear notions of the thing, now his fpirit of 
 divination is gone from him. However the 
 manner in which he fays he obtained this fpirit 
 was, he was admitted into the piefence ola great 
 man, wlio infor'tied him, that he loved, pitied, 
 and defired to do hira good. It was not in this 
 world that he^^faw the gredt man, but in a world 
 above at a vail dili^mce from this. The great 
 man, he fays, was cloathed with the day ; yea, 
 with the brighteil day he ever faw ; a day of 
 many years, yea, of everlafting continuance ! 
 this whole world, he fays, was drawn upon him, 
 fo that in him, the '^artJi, and all things in it, 
 miglu be feen, I afked him, if rocks, mountains, 
 and icds was drawn upon, or appeared in him i* 
 He replied, that every ihings that was beautiful 
 and lovely in the eaith was upon him, and might 
 be feen by looking on him, as well as.if one was 
 on the eaith to take a view of them there. By 
 the fide of the great man, he fays, ftood his 
 {hadow or fpirit. Ihls fhadow, l;e lays, was as 
 lovely as the man himielf, and filled all places, 
 
 and 
 
f 105 1 
 
 and was mod agreeable as well as wonderful to 
 
 him. Here he Itiys, he tarried lojne tinr.j, 
 
 and was unTpeakably entertained and delighted 
 with 2 view of the great man, of his fhadow or 
 fpirit, and of all things in him. And what is 
 mo(t of all aflonifning, he imagines all this to 
 have paffed before he was born. lie never had 
 been, he fays, in this world at that time. And. 
 what confirms him in the belief of this, is, tha^ 
 the great man told him, that he muft come down 
 to earth, be born of fuch a woman, meet with fuch 
 and fuch things, and in particular, thatheftiould 
 Once in his life be guilty of murder. At this 
 he was difpleafed, and iKjld tlie great man, he 
 -would never murder. But the great man replied, 
 « I have faid it, and it fhall be fo." Which 
 has accordingly happened. At this time, he fays, 
 the gi'cat man afked him what he would chufe 
 in life. He replied, firft to be a hunter, and af- 
 terwards to be a powwow or diviner. Whereupon 
 the great man told him, he ihould have what he de- 
 fited, and that his fliadow fliould go along with 
 him down to earth, and be with him fv)r ever. 
 There was, he fays, all this time no words fpo- 
 Icen between them. The conference was not 
 carried on by any human language, but they had 
 a kind of mental intelligence of each others 
 thoughts. After this, he (ays, he faw the grc t 
 man no more; but fuppofes he came down to 
 earth to be born, but the fpirit or fnadow of the 
 great man flill attended hnn, and ever after con- 
 tinued to appear to him in dteams and other 
 wavs^ until he felt the power of (iod's word 
 upon his heart; hnca which it has entirely left 
 him. 
 
 This fpirit, he fays, ufed fomclimes to direct 
 him in dreams to goto fuch a place and hunt, ailur- 
 ing him he Oiould there meet witli fuccefs, which 
 accordingly proved fo. And when he had been 
 there fome time, the Ipirit would order him to 
 another place. So that he had fi,iccefs in hui;t:ngj 
 according to the great man's promjfc made to 
 him at lh« time of his chufing thig emplovment. 
 S Ihtro 
 
There were fometimcs when this fplrit cam 
 ^pon him in a fpecial manner, and he was ia'A 
 of what he faw in the great mian ; and then, he 
 fays, he was all light, and not only light him- 
 felf, but it was light all around him, fo that he 
 could fee through men, and know the thoughts 
 of their hearts. Thefe depths of Satan I leave 
 to others to fathom, and do not know what ideas 
 to affix to fuch terms, nor can guefs what con- 
 ceptions of things thefe creatures have at the 
 times when they call themfelves all light. But 
 my .interpreter tells me, that he heard one of 
 them tell a certain Indian the fecret thoughts of 
 his heart, which he hi»d never divulged. The 
 ofe was this, the Indian was bitten with a fnake, 
 and was in extreme pain. Whereupon the di- 
 viner (who was applied to for his recovery) told 
 him, that at fuch a time he had propofed, that 
 the next deer he killed he would facrifice it to 
 fome great power, but had broken his promife* 
 And now, faid he, that great power has ordered 
 this inake to bite you for your negleft. The 
 Indian confeffed it was fo, but faid he had never 
 told any body of it. But as Satan, no doubt, 
 excited the Indian to make that promife, it was 
 ■no wonder he fhould be able to communicate the 
 matter to the conjurer. 
 
 On Friday and Saturday, he was very much 
 amifs ; but yet preached to his people on Satur- 
 day. His illnefs continued on the Sabbath ; but 
 he preached notwithflanding both parts of the 
 day; and'-after the public woifhip, endeavoured 
 to apply divine truths to the confci-ences of fome, 
 and addreU'cd them perfonally for that end ; fe- 
 veral were in tears, and fome appealed much af- 
 fefted. But he was extremely wearied with the 
 fervice, and was fo j1.1 at night, that he could 
 have no bodily reft ; but remarks, tliat << God 
 was his fupport, and that lie was not left (\e(~ 
 titute of -comfort in him." On Monday, he con- 
 tinued very ill : but fpeaks of his mind's being 
 calm and compofed, refigned to the divine dif- 
 ccnfaiions^ and content with his feeble lUte. 
 ^ Lord'g 
 
I >°7 J 
 
 Xord's-day, June 29. I prciiched both parts of 
 the day, from John xiv. 19. *' Yet a liltle vvhile^ 
 and the world leeth me no more," &c. God waSi 
 pleafed to afford me both freedom and power ; 
 and his power, appeared in the alfembly, in botlv 
 exercifes. Numbers of God's people were re- 
 frefhed and melted with divine things : one or 
 two comforted, who had been long under dif- 
 trefs ; conviftions, in divers inflances, power- 
 fully revived ;. and orie man in years much 
 awakened, who had not long frequented our 
 meeting, and appeared before as ftupidas a flock* 
 God amazingly renewed my Itrength, 1 was fo 
 fpent at noon, that I could fcarce walk, and alt 
 my joints trembled^ fo that I could not fit, nor 
 fo much as hold my hand ftill : ai.d yet God. 
 ftrengthened me to preach with power in the af- 
 ternoon. 1 fpent fome time afterwards in con- 
 verfing particularly, with feveral peii^ons. I 
 prayed afterwards with a fick child, and gave a 
 word of exhortation, and returned home with 
 more health than I went out ; although my linen 
 was wringing wet upon me, from a little after 
 ten in the morning, 'till pall five in the afternoon* 
 My fpirits alfo were confiderably refrelhed ; and 
 xny foul rejoiced in hopes that 1 had through 
 grace done iomething for God, In the evening 
 1 walked out, and enjoyed a fweet feafon in fe- 
 cret prayer and praile. But oh, I found the 
 truth of the Pfalmift's words, " My goodnefs ex- 
 tendeth not to thee !'* I could not make any 
 returns to God: I longed to live only to him, 
 and to be in tune for his praile and fervice for 
 ever. Oh, for fpirituality and holy fervency, 
 ■that I might fpend and be fpent for God to my 
 latell moment I 
 
 July 1. In the afternoon I vifited and preached 
 to my people, from Heb. ix, 27, on occafion of 
 ibme perfons lying at the point of death, in my 
 congregation, God gave me alTi fiance ; and his 
 word made an imprelhon upon the audience in 
 general. 
 
[ io8 T 
 
 "^On Wednefday he went to Newark, to a 
 meeting of the Prefbytery. The remaining part 
 of the week he fpent there, and at Elizabeth- 
 Town.] 
 
 July 7. My fpirifs were confiderably refrefh- 
 ed, Tliero is no comfort, I find, in any enjoy- 
 ment, without enjoying God, and being engagett*- 
 in his fervice. In the evening I had the molt 
 agreeable converfation that ever I remember in 
 all my life, upon God's being all in all, and all 
 enjoyments being juft that to us which God 
 makes them, and no more. It is good to" begin 
 and end with God. 
 
 July 12. This day was fpent in failing and 
 prayer by my congregation, as preparatory to 
 the facranrent, I dilcourfed, both parts of tht 
 day, from Rom. iv. 25. *' Who was delivered for 
 our offences," ^c, God gave me afhftance in 
 my difcourfcs, and divine power attended the 
 word; lo that this was an agreeable feafon. Af- 
 terwards I led them to a foiemn renewal of their 
 covenant, and frefh dedication ofthemfelves to 
 God. This was a feaion both of iblemnity and 
 fweetnefs, and God feeined to be *' in the midft 
 of us.'* 
 
 Lord's-day, July 13, In the forenoon I dif* 
 courfed on the bread of life, from John vi. 35. 
 God gave me afhflance ; and there appeared 
 feme tender affeftion in the affembly. I admi- 
 niltered the facrament of the Lord's fupper to 
 ihirtv-one perfons of the Indians. God feemed 
 to be prefent in this ordinance : the communi- 
 cants were fvveetly refrcflied.^ Oh, how they 
 melted, even when the elements were firfl un- 
 covered ! There was fcaicely a dry eye among 
 them, when I took off the linen, and (hewed 
 
 them the fymbols of Chrill-'s broken body. 
 
 Having reded a little after the adininillratiovi of 
 the facraraent, I vifitcd the communicants, and 
 found them gt^ncraliy in a ivveet loving haine* 
 In the afternoon I difcourlcd upon coming to 
 Chriii, and the fatisfa6lion of thofe who do fo. 
 This was iikcwife an agreeable leafon, a feafon 
 
r '09 1 
 
 of much tendernefs, and I returned home much 
 fpent, yet rejoicing in the goodnefs of God. 
 
 14. 1 difcourfed f rom Pfal, cxix. to6. "I have 
 fworn, and I will perform it," &c. There ap- 
 peared to be a powerful influence on the affem- 
 bly, and confiderable melting under the word. 
 Afterwards, 1 led them to a renewal of their co- 
 venant before God, (that they would watch over 
 themfelves and one another, left they fhould fall 
 into fin and difhonour the name of Chrifl,)juft 
 as I did on Monday, April 28. This tranl"a6iion 
 was attended with great folemnity : and God 
 owned it by exciting in them a fear and jea- 
 loufy of themfelves, left they fnould hn againfV 
 God. 
 
 ("The next day, he fet out on a journey towards 
 Philadelphia ; from whence he did not return 
 till Saturday. He went this journey,, and fperjt 
 the week under great iihiefs of body and dejec- 
 tion of mind.] 
 
 July 21. I preached to the Indians, chiefly for 
 the fake of fome ft rangers. I then propofed my 
 defign of taking a journey to Sulquahannah ; and* 
 exhorted my people to pray for me, that God 
 wduld be with me on that journey, and chof-e 
 divers perfons of the congregation to travel with 
 me. 
 
 July 28i I was very weak, and fcarce able to 
 perform any bulinefs, but I enjoyed fweetnefs 
 and comfort in prayer; and was compofed and 
 eomfortable through the day : my mind was in- 
 tenfe, and my heart fervent in fecret duties; and 
 I, longed to fpend and be fpent for God. 
 
 July 29, My mind was cheerful, and free 
 from thoie melancholy damps, that I am often 
 exercifed with. In the evening I enjoyed a com- 
 fortable feafon in. fecret prayer, was helped to 
 plead with God for my own dear people : and 
 ix>r the divine prefence to attend me in my intend- 
 ed journey to Su-^^uahannah. 
 
 July 30, I was uncommonly eafy, both irrbody 
 
 and mind : my mind was (olemn, I was adiUed 
 
 in my work, and God feemed to bp near me : 
 
 S 3 Co 
 
t no 3 
 
 fo that the day was as comfortable as mofl I have 
 cdjoyed for fometime. 
 
 Auguft 1. In the evening I enjoyed a fweet 
 feafon in fecret prayer: clouds and perplexing 
 cares were fweetly I'cattered, and nothing anxi- 
 ous remained. Oh, how Terene w.is my mind at 
 this feafon ! how free from that diftra6ting con- 
 cern I have often felt! " Thy will be done, was 
 a petition fweet to my foul ; and if God had bid- 
 den me chufe for mylelf in any affair, 1 Ihould 
 have chofen rather to have referred the choice 
 to him; for I law he was infinitely wife, and 
 could not do any thing amifs, as 1 was in dan- 
 ger of doing. 
 
 Augud 2. I preached from Matt. xi. 19. and 
 the preCence of God feemed to be remarkably in 
 the affembly. Bleffed be God for fuch a re- 
 vival among us. In the evening 1 was very 
 weary, but found my fpirils fupported and re- 
 £re{hed. 
 
 Auguft 5, I preached at the funeral of one of 
 my Chrifiians, fiom Ifa. Ivii. 2, was oppreffed 
 with the nervous head-ach, and confiderably de- 
 jeded ; however, I had a litile freedom^ I was 
 extrercseLy weary in the evening ; but notwith- 
 itandi-ng enjoyed fome liberty m prayer, and 
 found the dcjeftion that I feared, much removed 
 «nd my fpirits confiderably refreftied. 
 
 Auguft 7. I rode to my houfc, where I fpent 
 ihelafl winter, in order to bring fome things I 
 needed for my Sufquahannah journey: I wa& 
 refrcfhed to fee that place, which God fo mar- 
 vclloufly vifited with the fjiowers of his grace. 
 How amazingly did the power of God appear 
 there ! " Blefs the J^ord, O my foul." 
 
 Auguft 9. In the afternoon, I vifited my peo- 
 ple, let their affairs in order, and contrived for 
 ihem the management of their worldly bufinefs : 
 difcourfed to them in a folemn manner, and 
 concluded with prayer. I was compofed in the 
 evening, and fervent in fecret prayer.* had a 
 \iew of the eternal world, and much fcrenity 
 
«tf mind. OH that I could magnify the Lord for 
 any freedom he affords me in prayer! 
 
 Auguft II. Being about to fet out for Sufqua- 
 hannah the next day, I fpent fome time this day 
 in prayer with my people, that God would blcfs 
 ana fucceed my journey : and fet up his kingdom 
 among the poor Indians in the wildernels. Whi'e 
 I was opening and applying part of the cxth 
 Pfdlm, the power of God defcended on the aflTcm- 
 bly ; and while I was making the firfl prayer, 
 numbers were melted, and I found affeftionatc 
 cnlargercent of foul. God helped me, and my 
 interpreter alfo : there was a fliaking and melting 
 among us ; and divers, I doubt not were in fome 
 meafure ** filled with the Holy Ghoft ;" efoecially 
 while I infifted upon the promife of all nations 
 hlejjing the great Redeemer : my foul was refreftied 
 to think, that this glorious I'eafon fhould furely 
 come ; and numbers of my dear people were alfo 
 refrelhed. Afterwards 1 prayed ; and had fome 
 freedom, but was alfo fpent : then I walked out, 
 and left my people to carry on religious exercife 
 among themfelves : they prayed repeatedly, and 
 iung, while I rcfted and refrefned myfelf. After- 
 wards I went to the meeting, prayed with, and 
 difmiffed the aflembly. BlelTed be Goc, this has 
 been a day of grace. 
 
 The next day, he fet out on his journey towards 
 Sufquahannab, and fix of his Chriilian Indians 
 ■with him, whom he had chofen out of his congre- 
 gation, as thofe that he judged moft fit to aflift 
 him. He took his way through Philadelphia, in- 
 tending to go to Sufquahanrwh-river, far down, 
 where it is fettled by the white people, below 
 the country inhabited by the Indians ; and fo 
 to travel up the river to the Indian habitations : 
 for although this was much farther about, yefe 
 hereby he avoided thehuge mountains and hideous 
 tvildernefs, which in time paft he had found to 
 be extremely fatiguing. He rode this wtek as 
 far as Charieftown, a place of that name about 
 thirty miles wellward of Philadelphia ; where he 
 arrived on Friday, and in to way hither, wai 
 
 for 
 
for the mofl; part in a compofed pomfortable^ftat«i 
 ©f mind. 
 
 Auguft 16. [AtChaileftown.] It being a 
 day kept by the people of the place where I now 
 >vas, as preparatory to the celebration of the 
 Lord's fupper, I tarried, heard Mr. Treat preach, 
 and then preached myfelf. God gave me fome 
 freedom and helped me to difcourle with »v-armth, 
 and application, to the confcience. Afterwards 
 I was refrefhed in fpirit, though much tired; and 
 fpent the evening agreeable in prayer, and- 
 Chriftian converfation, 
 
 AuguR 18. I rode or^my way towards Paxton^ 
 upon Sufquahannah river, hut felt my fpirits finkj 
 towards night. 
 
 19. I rode forward ftill ; and at night lodged^ 
 by the fide of SuCquahannah, 
 
 20. Having lam in a cold fweat ail night, L 
 coughed much bloody matter t]>is morning -, but 
 what gave me encouragement, was, I had a 
 fccret hope that I might fpeedily get a difmilTion- 
 from earth, and all its forrows. 1 rode this day 
 to one Chamber s upon Sulquahannah, andther* 
 lodged, but was much afflicted, in the evening, 
 with an ungodly crew, drinking and fwearing^ 
 Oh, what a ^^^ would it be, to be numbered with, 
 the ungodly ! 
 
 21. I rode »p the river about fifteen mileSj and. 
 there lodged, in a family that appeared quite 
 deftitute of God, I laboured to difcourfe with. 
 the man about the life of religion, bur found. him- 
 very artful in evading it. Oh, what a death it ii- 
 to fome, to hear of the things of God ! 
 
 22. 1 continued my courfe up the river : my 
 people now being with me, who before were, 
 parted from me -^^ travelled above all the Engliftj. 
 fettlements ; at night, lodged in the open woods, 
 and ftept with more comfort, than while among 
 an ungodly company of white people. 
 
 Lord's-day, Auguft 24. Towards noon I vifit- 
 cd fome of the Delawares, and difcourfed with 
 them about Chriftianity. In the afternoon I dif- 
 courled to the King^ and oihers^ upon divine 
 
 things. 
 
C "3 J 
 
 things, who feemed difpofed to hear. I fperrt 
 
 moll of the day in thcfe exercifes. In the even- 
 incr I enjoyed fomc comfort and fatisfattion : 
 cipecially in fccret prayer; this duty was made 
 fa agreeable to me, that I loved to walk abroad, 
 and repeatedly engage in it, 
 
 -^^'5'. i lent out my people to talk with the In- 
 dia'riis, ' and contratl a familiarity with them. 
 Some good feemed to be done by their vifit this 
 day, and divers appeared willing to hearken to 
 Ghriftianity. 
 
 26. About noon I difcourfed to a confiderabFc 
 number of Indians : I was enabled to fpeak with 
 much plainncfs, warmth, and power. The dif- 
 courfehad impreffion upon fome, and made them 
 appear very ferious, 
 
 27. There having been a thick fmoak, in the 
 houfe where I lodged, I was this morning diftrcffed 
 ■with pains in my head and neck. In the morning 
 the imoak was lull the fame ; and a cold eaflerly 
 ftorm gathering, I could neitiier live withia 
 doors nor without any long time together ; I wes 
 pierced with the rawnefs of the air abroad, in 
 the houfe diflrcfied with the fmoak. 1 this day 
 lived in great dillrels, and had not health enough 
 to do any thing to purpofe, 
 
 • 28. I was under great concern of mind. I was 
 vifited by fome who defired to hear me preach : 
 and difcouried to them in the afternoon, with 
 iome fervency, and laboured to perfuade them to 
 turn to God, 1 fcarce ever law more clearly, that 
 it is God's wo7'k to convert fouls. I knew 1 could 
 not touch them, I faw I could only fpeak to, dry 
 ioneSf but could give them no fcnfe of what I 
 faid. My eyes were up to God for help : I could 
 iay, the work was his, 
 
 29. I travelled to the Delawares, found few at 
 home : felt poorly, but was able to fpend fome 
 time alone in reading God's word and in prayer. 
 
 Lord's-day, Augult 31. I fpake the word of 
 God, to fome few of the Sufquahannah Indians. 
 In the afternoon, 1 felt very weak and feeble. 
 Oh, how heavy is my work, when faith carinot 
 
 tak 
 
C »H J 
 
 take hold of an almighty arnti for the pcrfarmanc* 
 ©fit. 
 
 Sept. 1. I fct out on a journey towards a place 
 called The great IJland, about fifty miles diftant 
 from Shaumoking, in the north weftern branch 
 of Sufquahannah. At night I lodged in the 
 woods, I was exceeding feeble, this day, anct 
 fweat much the niglit following. 
 
 Sept. 2. I rode forward ; but no fafter than 
 my people went on foot. I was fo feeble and 
 faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out in 
 the open air; and fome of our company being, 
 parted from us, fo that we had now no axe with 
 us, I had no way but to climb into a young pine- 
 tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, and 
 fo made a fhelter from the dew, I fweat much ii>^ 
 the night, fo that my linen was almoll wringing 
 wet all night. I fcarce ever was more weak and 
 ^\'eary than this evening. 
 
 3. I rode to Delaware town ; and found diver* 
 drinking and drunken, I difcourfed with fom^ 
 of the Indians about Chriftianity ; obferved my 
 interpreter much engaged in his work ; fome few 
 perfons feemed to hear with great earneftnefs* 
 About noon 1 rode to a fmall town of Shauwau^ 
 noes, about eight miles diftant ; fpent an hour or 
 two there, and returned to the Delaware town^. 
 Oh, what a dead, barren, unprofitable wretch 
 did I now fee myfelf to be ! My fpirits were fo- 
 low, and my bodily ftrength fo wafted, that I 
 could do nothing at all. At length, being much 
 overdone, I lay down on a buffalo Jkin\ but fweat 
 much the whole night, 
 
 4. I difcourfed with the Indians about Chrif- 
 tianity : my interpreter, afterwards, carrying on 
 the difcourfe, to a confiderable length : fome fev>F 
 appeared well difpofed, and fomcwhat affefted. 
 I left this place, and returned towards Shaumo- 
 king ; and at night lodged in the place where I 
 lodged the Monday night before: but my people 
 being be-lated, did not come to me till paft ten at 
 night ; fo that I had no fire to drefs any viftuals, 
 or to keep me warm ; and I was fcarc? ever more 
 weak and worn out in my life, 5. X 
 
t i«5 1 
 
 5. I was fo weak, that I could fcarcely ride ; 
 it feemed fometimes as if I muft fall off from my 
 horfe : however, I got to Shaumoking, toward* 
 night, and felt thankfulncfs, that God had fo far 
 returned me. 
 
 6. I fpent the day tn a very weak ftate ; cough- 
 ing and fpitting blood, and having little appetite 
 to any food I had with me ; I was able to do very 
 Uttle, except dirco>.'.rfe awhile of divine things 
 to my own people, and to fome few I met with. 
 
 Monday, Sept. S, I fpent the forenoon among 
 the Indians ; in the afternoon, left Shaumoking, 
 and returned down the river a few miles, I had 
 propofed to have tarried a confiderablc time 
 longer among the Indians upon Sufquahannah ; 
 but was hindered by the weakly circumftances of 
 my own people, andefpecially my own extraordi- 
 nary weaknefs, having been exercifed with great 
 no£lurnal fweats, and a coughing up of blood, ia 
 almoft the whole of the journey, i was a great 
 part of the time fo feeble and faint, that it feemed 
 as though I never fhould ^e able to reach home; 
 and at the fame time deftitute of the comforts, 
 yea, neceflaries of life : at leaft, what was 
 neceffary for one in fo weak a ftate. In this 
 journey 1 fometimes was enabled to fpeak the 
 word of God with power, and divine truths 
 made fome imprelhons on divers that heard me ; 
 fo that feveral, both men and women, old and 
 young, feemed to cleave to us, and be well dif- 
 pofed towards Chriftianity ; but others mocked 
 and ftiouted, which damped thofe who before 
 feemed friendly : yet God, at times, was evident- 
 ly prefcnt, aliifting me, my interpreter, and 
 other dear friends who were with me. God gave 
 fometimes a good degree of freedom in prayer for 
 the ingathering of fouls there ; and 1 could not 
 but entertain a ftrong hope, that the journey 
 ihould not be wholly fruitlefs. 
 
 9. I rode down the river, near thirty miles, 
 was extreme weak, much fatigued, and met with 
 a thunder ftorm. I difcourfed with fome warmth 
 and clofenefs to fome poor ignorant fouls, on the 
 
 life 
 
C "5 3 
 
 life and power of religion. They fecmed much 
 a/loniflied, when they faw my Indians afk a blef- 
 fing, and give thanks at dinner; concluding that 
 a very high evidence of grace in them ; but were 
 more aftonifhed, when I infilled, that neither tliat, 
 nor yet (ecret prayer, was any iure evidence of 
 grace. Oh the ignorance of the world! Plow arc 
 ibme empty outward forms, miflaken for true 
 religion. 
 
 10. I rode near twenty mAes homeward ; and 
 xvas much folicited to preach, but was utterly 
 unable. I was extremely overdone with the 
 heat and fhowers, and coughed up confiderable 
 quantities of blood. 
 
 11. 1 rode homeward; but was very weak, 
 and fometimes fcarce able to ride, I had a very 
 importunate invitation to preach at a meeting- 
 houfe I came by, but could not, by reafon of 
 "weaknefs, I was refigned under my weaknefs ; 
 but was much excrcifed for my companions in 
 travel, whom I had left with much regret, fom« 
 lame, and fome fick. 
 
 12. I rode about fifty miles ; and came juft at 
 nioht to a Chriflian friend's houfe, about twenty- 
 five miles weflward from Philadelphia. I was 
 kindly enteitained, and found myfelf much 
 refrefhed in the niidft of my weaknefs and fa- 
 tigues. 
 
 Lord's day, September 14. I preached both parts 
 of the davr (but (hort) from Luke xiv. 23. God 
 gave me freedom and warmth in my difcourfe; 
 and helped me to labour in finglenefs of heart. 
 1 was much tired in the evening, but wiis com- 
 forted with the moil tender treatment I ever 
 met with in my life. My mind, through the 
 whole of this day, was exceeding calm ; and I 
 conld alk for nothing but that *' ihe will of God 
 might be done." 
 
 Sept. 17. I lode into Philadelphia, but was 
 very weak, and my cough/ and fpilting ot blood 
 continued. 
 
 Saiurday, Sept. 20. I arrived among my own 
 people; found them praying togeihex ; wentin, 
 
 and 
 
r »'r ] 
 
 and gave them fome account of God's dealings 
 with me and my companions in the journey. I 
 then prayed with them, and the divine prefence 
 was among us; divers were melted into tears. 
 Being Very weak, I was obliged foon to repair 
 to my lodgings. Thus God has carried me through 
 the fatigues and perils of another journey toSuf- 
 quahannah, and returned me again in fafety, 
 though under a great degree of bodily indifpo- 
 fition. Many hardftiips and diflrelTcs I endured 
 in this journey : but the Lord Supported me under 
 them all. 
 
 PART VIII. 
 
 After his ^durn Jrom his lafl Journey to SuftjuahaH' 
 nahj until his Death, 
 
 HITHERTO Mr. Brainerd had kept a con. 
 ftant diary, giving an account of what paf- 
 fcd from day to day: but henceforward his diary 
 is much interrupted by his illnefs; under which he 
 was often brought fo low, as not to recoUedt, iri 
 the evening, wHat had paffed in the day, and fet 
 down an orderly account of it in writing. How- 
 ever, he took fome notice of the moft material 
 things concerning himfelf even 'till within a few 
 days of his death,]] 
 
 Lord*s-day, Sept. 21, 1746. I was 'fo weak 
 1 could not preach, nor ride over to my people 
 in the forenoon. In the afternoon I rode out ; 
 fat in my chair, and difcourfed to my people 
 from Rom. xiv. 7, 8. I was ilrengthened in my 
 difcourfe : and there appeared fomething agree- 
 able in the affcinbly. I returned to my lodgings 
 extremely tired ; but thankful, that I had been 
 enabled to fpeak a word to my poor people, i 
 was able to flcep little, through wearinefs and 
 T pain. 
 
t =^'8 J 
 
 pain. Oh, how blcOTcd fhould I be, if the little 
 I do were all done wiili rioht views I ' 
 
 Sept. -27. I fpent this as the week pall, under 
 a great degree of bodily weakncfs, exercifed witli 
 a violent cough, and a confiderable fever ; had 
 no appetite to any kind of food; and frequent- 
 ly brought up what I eat, as foon as it was 
 down ; I was able, however, to ride over to my 
 people, about two miles, every day, and take 
 fome care of thole who were then at work upon 
 .a imall houfc for me to refide in amongft the 
 Indians, 1 was fometimes fcarce able to walk, 
 and never able to fit up the wliole day. Yet I 
 v,'3S calm and compofed. and but little exercifed 
 with metancholvj as in former feafons. It was 
 many times a comfort to me, that life and death 
 did not depend upon my choice, I was pleafed 
 to think, that he who is infinitely wife, had the 
 determination of this matter: and that 1 had no 
 trouble, to confider and weigh tilings upon ail 
 fides, in order to make the choice, whether I 
 would live or die. 1 could with great compo- 
 fuie look death in the face, and frequently with 
 fenlible joy. Oh, how bleifed it is, to be habi- 
 tually prepared for death ! The Lord grant, 
 that I may be aftually ready alfo J 
 
 Lord's-day, Septetnher 21. 1 rode to my peo- 
 ple ; and, though under much weaknefs, dif- 
 eourfed about half an hour; at which leafon di- 
 vine power feemed to attend the word ; but being 
 extreme weak, 1 was obliged to dcfift" ; and after 
 a turn of faintnefs, with much drtriculiy rode to 
 my lodgings where betaking myfeif to my bed, I 
 Ijy in a burning fever, and almofl delirious, 
 for feveral hours, tiii towards morning, mv fever 
 went cfF with a violent fvveat. I have often been 
 feveriih after preacliing : but this was the molt 
 djftrelling turn, that ever preaching brought upon 
 vac. Yet 1 felt perfectly- at relt in my own 
 mind, bccjufe I had made my ulmolt attempts 
 to (peak .ni God. 
 
 Sept. '^o. Yeflerday and to-day I was fcarce 
 able to lit up half the day. But I was in a com- 
 pofed 
 
C 219 J 
 
 poifed frame, and remarkably free from dejeftion 
 and melancholy ; as God has been pleafed 10 de. 
 iiver me from thefe unhappy glooms, in the gene- 
 ral courle of my prefent weaknefs hitherto, and 
 alio from a peevifli fpirit. O that 1 may always 
 .fee able to fay, " Lord, not my will, but thine 
 fee done !" 
 
 Saturday^ Oft. 4, I fpent the former part of 
 this week under a great degree of diforder, as I 
 had done feveral weeks before ; was able, how- 
 ever, to ride a little every day, althougli unabic 
 to At up half the day, and took fomccare daily 
 of peiions at work upon my houfe. On Friday 
 afternoon I found mylelf wonderfully revived 
 and (Irengthened ; and having fomq time befor-e 
 given notice to my people, and thofe atthe Forkd 
 of Delaware in particular, that I defigned, to 
 adminider the facrament of the Lord's fupper 
 upon the firft fabbath in Oftober. On Friday 
 afternoon I preached preparatory to the facra- 
 ment from 2 Cor. xiii. 5. I was furprizingly 
 Irrengthencd in my work, while I was fpeaking : 
 but was obliged immediately after to repair to 
 bed, being now removed into my own houfe 
 among the Indians; which gave me fuch fpeedy 
 relief, as 1 could not well have lived without. 
 I fpeni fome tune on Friday night in convcriing 
 "With my people as I lay upon my bed : and 
 found my foul refrelhed. This being Saturday, 
 1 dilcourled particularly with divers of the com» 
 municdnis ; au.d this afternoon preached fro^n 
 Zech. xii. ro There feemed to be a tender 
 melting, and hearty mourning for lin in the con- 
 gregation. My loul was in a comfortable frame, 
 and 1 was mylelf, as well as molt o\ the congre- 
 gation, much attetled with, the humble confelTion, 
 and apparent bioken-heartednefs of a backflider ; 
 and could not but rejoice, that God had given- 
 him iuch a lenfe of his fin and unworthinefs. I 
 was extremely tired in the evening; but lay on 
 my bed. and difcourfed to my people. 
 
 Lord's-day, Oct. 5, I was if ill very weak ; and 
 
 in tlie morning afraid I (hould not be able to go 
 
 T 2 throuiih 
 
through the work of the day. I difcourfed hc^ 
 fore the adminiftration of the facrament from 
 John i. 29. " Behold the Lamb of God, that tak» 
 
 eih away the fin of the world." —The divine 
 
 prefence attended this difcourfe ; and the anfem'^' 
 bly was confiderably melted. After fermon I 
 baptized two pcrfons, and then adminiflered the 
 Lord's fupper to near forty communicants of th« 
 Indians, befides diveis dear Chriftians of ih6 
 while people. It was a feafon of divine power 
 and grace ; and numbers rejoiced in God. Ohj 
 the fweet union and harmony then appearing 
 among the religious people ! My foul was re- 
 f rcfhed, and my friends of the white people^ 
 with me. After the facrament I could fcarcely 
 get home ; but was fupported by my friends, and 
 Jaid on my bed ; where I lay in pain till th« 
 evening : and then was able to fit up and dif- 
 courfe with my friends. Oh, how was this day^ 
 ijpent in prayers and praifes among my dear peo- 
 ple ! One might hear them all the morning be- 
 fore public worftiip, and in the evening till near 
 inidnight, praying and finging praifes to God, in 
 one or other of their houfes. 
 
 Oft. 11. Towards night I was feized with at» 
 ague, which was followed with a hard fever, 
 and much pain ; I was treated with great kind- 
 Tiefs, and was afhamed to fee fo much concern 
 about fo unworthy a creature, I was in a com- 
 fortable frame of mind, wholly fubmiflive, with 
 regard to life or death. It was indeed a peculiar 
 iatisfadlion to me, to think, that it was not my 
 bufinels to determine whether I fhould live or 
 die. I likewife felt peculiarly fatisfied, while 
 under this uncommon degree of diforder ; being 
 now fully convinced of my being really unabl© 
 to perform my work. Oh, how precious is time I 
 And how guilty it makes me feel, when I think 
 1 have trifled away and mifemploy'd it, or ncg- 
 lefted to fill up each part of it with duty, to 
 the utmoft of my ability f 
 
 Oft. 19. I was willing either to die or live; 
 but found, it hard. to. thwik of living ufclefs. Oh 
 
L 2" ] 
 
 that I might never live to be a burden to God's 
 creation ; but that I might be allowed to repair 
 home, when my fojourning work is done! 
 
 Oft. 24. I fpent the day in ovcrfecing and 
 directing my people about mending their fence, 
 and fecuring their wheat.— I was ibmewhat re- 
 frelhed in the evening, having been able to do 
 iomething valu(iblc in the day-time. Oh, how it 
 pains me, to fee time pafs away, when I can do 
 not 111 ng to any purpofe! 
 
 Ocl. 25. 1 vilited fome of my people : fpent 
 fome time in writing, and felt much better in 
 body, than ufual : when it was near night, I felt 
 fo well, that I had thoughts of expounding : but 
 in the evening was much difordercd again, and 
 fpent the night in coughing, and Ipitting of 
 blood. 
 
 LordVday, Oft, 26. In the morning I was 
 exceeding weak, and fpent the day til! near 
 night, in pain to fee my poor people wandering 
 as jhttp not having a Jhe.phe.rd. But towards night, 
 iinding myfelf a little better, I called them toge- 
 ther to my houfe, and fat down, and read and ex- 
 pounded Matt. v. 1 — i6. This difcourfe, though 
 delivered in much weaknefs, was attended with 
 power;" efpecially what waslpoken upon the laft 
 of thefe verfcs, where 1 in (i lied on the infinite 
 ■wrong done to religion, by having our lij^ht 
 become darknefs, in Head of Jkining UJorc mcit. 
 As many were deeply afifefted with a fenfe of 
 their deficiency, in regard of a fpiritual corrverfk- 
 tion, and a fpirit of concern and watchfulnefs 
 feemed to be excited in them : lo there was one 
 that had fallen into drunke-nncls. feme time before, 
 who was now deeply convinced of his fin, and 
 dilcovered a great degree of grief and concern on 
 that account. My (o<x\ was refr'Jhea to fee thi's. 
 And though T had no flrength to fpeak lo much 
 as I would have done, but was obliged to lie 
 down on the bed : yer I rejoiced to fee fuch aW' 
 humble melting in the congregation •,. and that' 
 divine truths, ihou^jh faintly delivered, wero 
 attended with fo-much efficacy, 
 
 T 3 oa. 
 
Oa. 27. Ifpentthe day indirefting the Fndians,. 
 about mending the fence round their wheat : and 
 was able to walk with them, and contrive their 
 bufinefs, all the afternoon. In the afternoon I 
 was vifited by two dear friends, and fpent fome 
 time in converfation with them. Towards night 
 1 was able to walk out, and take care of the In- 
 dians again. 
 
 28. 1 rode to Prince-Town, in a very weak 
 ilate ; had fuch a violent fever, by the way, that 
 I was forced to alight at a friend's houfe, and lie 
 down for fome time. Near night I was vifited by 
 Mr. Treat, Mr. Eeaty, andhls wife,, and another 
 friend ; my fpirits were refreflied to fee them ;- 
 but I was furprized, and even afhamed,. that they 
 had taken fo much pains as to ride thirty or forty 
 miles to fee me, 
 
 Nov. 1, 1 took leave of my friends and return* 
 cd home, 
 
 Lord's-day, Nov. 2. I was unable to preach, 
 and fcarcely able to fit up the whole day. I was 
 almofl funk, to fee my poor people deftitute of 
 the means of grace ; and efpeciaiiy confidering 
 they could not read, and fo were under great dil- 
 advantages for fpending the Sabbath comfortably* 
 Oh, methought,. I could be contented to be fick, 
 if my poor flock had a faithful paftor to feed 
 them. A view of their wast of this was more 
 affljclive to me, than all my bodily illnefs^ 
 
 Nov. 3. Being now in fo low a ftatc, that I 
 was utterly uncapable of performing my work, 
 and having little hope of recovery,, unlcfs by 
 much riding, 1 thought it my duty to ^ke a 
 journey into New-England,. 1 accordingly took 
 leave of my congregation this day. — Before I left 
 my people, I viiued them all in their refpetliva 
 houles, and difcourfed to each one,, as 1 thought 
 moft fuitable for their ciFcum4lances,. and found 
 great freedom in fo doing : 1 fcarce left one houfe 
 but fonie were in tears, not only affetted with my 
 being about to leave them, but with the folemn 
 addrefles I made : for 1 was helped to be fervent 
 in fpirit. When X had ihu> gone through my" 
 
 congregati oa 
 
[ 223 3 
 
 corrgrcgation, (which took me moft of the day) 
 and had taken leave of them, and of the fchool, 
 I rode about two miles, to the houfe where X 
 lived in the fummer pad, and there lodged. 
 
 4. 1 rode to Woodbridge, and lodged with 
 Mr, Pierfon. 
 
 ^, 1 rode to Elizabeth-Town, intending as 
 foon as pofiible to profecute my journey. But I 
 was in an hour or two taken much worle. — For 
 near a week I was confined to my chamber, and 
 mod of the time to my bed ; and then fo far revi-« 
 vcd as to be able to walk about the houfe ; but 
 "was ftili confined within doors. 
 
 I was enabled to maintain a calm, compofed^ 
 and patient fpirit, as I had from the beginning of 
 my weaknefs. After I had been in Elizabeth- 
 Town about a fortnight, and had fo far recovered 
 that I was able to walk about the houfe, upon a 
 day of thankfgiving kept in this place, 1 was en- 
 abled to recount the mercies of God, in fuch a. 
 manner as greatly affefted me, and filled me with* 
 thankfulnefs to God *, efpecially for his work of 
 grace among the Indians, and the enlargement of 
 his kingdom. *« Lord, glorify thyfelf," was the 
 cry of my feul. Oh that all people might lov« 
 andpraife the bleffed God. 
 
 After this comfortable feafon, I frequently en- 
 joyed enlargement of foul in prayer for my dear 
 congregation, very often for every family, and 
 every perfon in particular ; and it was a great 
 comfort to me, that 1 could pray heartily to God 
 for thofe whom 1 was not allowed to fee. 
 
 In the latter end of December, I grew ftill 
 weak, and continued to do fo,- till the latter end 
 of January 1746 — 7. And having a violent cough, 
 a confiderable fever, and no appetite for any 
 manner of food, 1 was reduced to fo low a ftaie, 
 that my friends generally difpaired of my life;, 
 and for fome time together,, thought 1 could 
 fcarce live a day 10 an end. 
 
 On Lord's-day, Feb, i. " If ye, being evil,, 
 know how to give good gifts to your chiiaren, 
 hovf much mors will your heavenly Father give 
 
 the 
 
t 22^ J 
 
 tfic holy Spirit to them that afk him ?" ThiV 
 text I was helped to plead, and faw the divine 
 faithfulnefs engaged for dealing with me better 
 than any earthly parent can do with his child. 
 This feafon fo refrefhed my fouF, that my body 
 fecmed alfo to be a gainer by it. ^nd from this 
 time, I began gradually to amend. And as I re^^ 
 covered feme flrength, vigour, and fpirit, I- 
 found at times fome life in the exercifes of devo- 
 tion, and longings after fpirituality and a life of' 
 tifefulnefs. 
 
 -• Feb. 24. I was abfe fo ride as far as Newark^ 
 (having been confined within Elizabeth-Town al- 
 Bioft four months,) and the next day returned to- 
 Elizabeth-Town. Myf^irits were fomewhat re- 
 frefhed with the ride, though my body was 
 weary. 
 
 Feb. 28. I was vifited by an Indian of my own 
 congregation, who brought me letters, and good* 
 news of the behaviour of my peopla^p general ; 
 this refrefhedmy foul, and I could not^.but retire 
 and blefs God for hisgoodnefs. 
 
 March 11. Being kept in Elizabeth'-Tow.n as 
 a day of fafting and prayer, I was able to atfend' 
 public worfhip, which was the firft time Rnt*' 
 December 21. Oh, how much diftrefs did God' 
 Carry me through in this fpace of time ! But 
 having obtained help from him, l yet live-: Oh- 
 that 1 could live to his glory ! 
 
 March 18. I rode lo my people: and on Fri-- 
 day morning walked about among them, and in- 
 Cjuirtd into (heir irate and concerns; and found" 
 an addition?tl weight on my Ipirits upon hearing 
 fome things difagrceable. I endeavoured to go to 
 God with miy dillrelles : but nofvvithllanding my 
 mJnd continued very gloomy. About ten o'clock, 
 I called my people togeilier, and after having ex- 
 plained and fung a pfalm, I prayed with ihcm.- 
 Thcre was a confiderable deal of afPcdlion among- 
 them •, I doubt not, that which was more ihair 
 merely natural, 
 
 [This was the laji interview tlia^ he ever had" 
 vrith his people. About eleven (/""clock the fatre 
 
 day, 
 
r 225 1 
 
 day, he left them : and the next day came td 
 Elizabeth-Town. *] 
 
 •March 28. I was taken this morning with a 
 violent griping. Thefe pains were extreme and 
 cotiftant, for feveral hours; fo that it Teemed 
 impofTible for fne, without a miracle, to live 
 twenty-four hours. I lay confined to my bed, 
 the whole day : but it pleafcd God to bleis means 
 for the abatement of my didrels. I was exceed- 
 ingly weakened by this pain, and continued fo 
 for feveral days following. In this diftreffed 
 cafe, death appeared agreeable to me ; as an en- 
 trance into a place *' where the weary are at reft;** 
 and, I had fome reliih of the entertainments of 
 the heavenly ftate ; fo that by thefe I was allured 
 and drawn, as well as driven by the fatigues of 
 life. Oh, how happy it is, to be drawn by de- 
 fires of a ftate of perfeft holinefs ! 
 
 April 4. I was uneafy, by reafon of the mif- 
 employment of time ; and yet knew not what to 
 do! I longed to fpend time in falling and prayer; 
 but, alas, I had no bodily ftrength ! Oh, how 
 bleffed a thing is it, to enjoy peace of con* 
 fcience ! how dreadful is a want of inward peacel 
 It is impoflibl'^, I find, to enjoy this happincfs 
 without redeeming time, and maintaining 4 fpi* 
 ritual frame of mind. 
 
 Lord's-day, April 5, It grieved me, to find 
 myfelf fo inconceivably barren. My foul thirfted 
 for grace ; but, alas, how far was I from obtain- 
 ing what I faw fo excellent ! I was ready to 
 difpair of ever being holy ; and yet my foul was 
 ^ehrous of following hard after God; but never 
 did I fee myfelf fo far from having apprehended^ 
 or being already perfedl. The Lord's fupper 
 being this day adminiftered, in the feafon of 
 communion, I enjoyed warmth: of affeftion, and 
 felt a tender love to the brethren ; and, to the 
 glorious Redeemer, the firft born among them, 
 1 endeavoured then to bring forth mine and his 
 enemies, and flay them before him ; and found 
 great freedom in begging deliverance from this 
 ipiritual death^ as well as in afking favours for 
 
 tnf 
 
[ 226 ] 
 
 my friends, and congregation, and the church 
 
 of Chrift in general. 
 
 April 17. In the evenfng, God helped me to 
 •* draw near to the throne of grace/* and gave 
 me a (enfe of his favour, which gave me inexpref- 
 fible fupport and encouragement ; I could not but 
 rejoice, that ever God fhould difcover his recon- 
 ciled face to fuch a vile finner. Shame and con- 
 fufion, at times, covered me ; and then- hope, 
 and joy, and admiration of divine goodnefs. 
 
 April 21. I fet out on my journey for New- 
 England ; I travelled to New-York, and there 
 lodged. 
 
 ("This proved his final departure from New-Jer- 
 fey.— He travelled llowly. and arrived among his 
 friends at Eaft-Haddam, about the beginning of 
 May.J 
 
 Lord's-day, May 10. (A^t Had-Lime) I could 
 not but feel gratitude to God, that he had always 
 difpofed me, in my miniflry, to infrft on the 
 great doftrines of regeneration, a. nczo creature^ faiih 
 in Chrijl, progreJive/a7i£ilficaiiDn, Jupreme iove to God, 
 living entirely to the glory of God^ being not our own, 
 and the like. God has helped me to fee, from 
 time to time, that thefe, and the like doftrines, 
 neceffarily connefted with them, are the onty^ 
 foundation of fafety and falvation for perifhing 
 Tinners ; and that thofe divine difpohlions which 
 areconfonant hereto, are that holinejs, *' without 
 which no man {hall fee the Lord :" the exercife of 
 thefe God-like tempers, wherein the foul afts in 
 a kind of concert with God, and would be and 
 do every thing that is pleafing to God ; this, I 
 faw, would Hand by the foul in a dying hour : 
 for God muft deny himfctj, if he call away his own 
 image, even the foul that is one in defires with 
 himf-ilf. 
 
 Lord's-day, May 17. Though I felt much dul- 
 nels this week ; yet I had fome glimpfes of the 
 excellency of divine things ; and elpecially one 
 morning, the beauty of holinefs as a likenefs to 
 the glorious God, was fo difcovered to me, that 
 \ longed earnellly to be in that world where holi- 
 
 .seLs 
 
r "7 ] 
 
 nefs dwells in perfe6lion, that I might pleafc God, 
 live entirely to him, and glorify him to the ut- 
 moft ftretch of iny capacities. 
 
 LordVday, May 24. (At long-Meadow in 
 Spring-field) I could not but think, as I have 
 often remarked toothers, that much more of iru* 
 religion confifls in deep humility^ brokennefs of hearty 
 and an ahajing f<^r\fe of want oj hoimejs^ than moft 
 who are called ChriJlianSy imagine, 
 
 [On May 28. lie came from Long-Meadow 
 to Northampton ; appearing vaftly better than he 
 had been in the winter; indeed fo well, that 
 he was able to ride twenty-five miles in a day, and 
 to walk half a mile ; but yet he was undoubteoiy, 
 at that time, in a confirmed, incurable confump- 
 tion J 
 
 I had much opportunity before this of particu- 
 lar information concerning him, but now I had 
 opportunity for a more full acquaintance with 
 him. 1 found him lemarkably fociable, pleafant, 
 and entertaining in his converfation ; yet folid, 
 favoury, Ipiritual, and very profitable : appeari^ 
 ing meek, modeft, and humble, far from any 
 ftitfnefs, morofenefs, fuperllitiousdemurenefs, or 
 affefled fingularity in fpeech or behaviour. We 
 enjoyed not only the benefit of his converfation, 
 but had the comfort of hearing him pray in the 
 family, from time to time. His manner of pray- 
 ing was becoming a worm of the dud, and a dif- 
 ciple of Chrifl addrefling to an infinitely great 
 and holy God, and Father of mercies ; not with 
 florid exprefTions, or a fludied eloquence ; not 
 with any intemperate vehemence, or indecent 
 boldnels: at the greateftdiftance from any appear- 
 ance of oftentation, and from every thini; that 
 might look as though he ment to recommend him- 
 felf to thofe that were about him, or fet himfelf 
 off to their acceptance ; fieefrom vain repetitious, 
 without impertinent excurfions, or needlefs mul- 
 tiplying of words. He exprelTed himlolf with 
 the Rtidefl propriety, with weight and p .ngencv j 
 and yet what his lips utterea leemed to 11. w from 
 thQ fubidfs of his heart, as deeply ;mpreffoa with <i 
 
 great 
 
t 225 3 
 
 great and folemnfenfe of our neceflitics, unworthi- 
 ncfs, and dependence, and of God's infinite great- 
 nefs, excellency, and fufRciency, rather than 
 merely from a warm and fruitful brain. And I 
 kno'AT not, that ever 1 heard him fo much as afk 
 a blefTing or return thanks at table but there was 
 fomething remarkable to be obferved both in the 
 matter and manner of the performance. In his 
 prayers he infifted much on th^ profperity of 
 Zion, the advancement of Chrifl's kingdom in 
 the world, and the flourifliing and propagation of 
 religion amon^ the Indians. And he generally 
 made it one petition in his prayer, " that we 
 might not outlive ourufcfulnefs.^J 
 
 [This week he confulted Dr. Mather, at my 
 houfe, concerning his illnefs ; who plainly told 
 him there were great evidences of his being in a 
 confirmed conjumpdon^ and that he could give 
 him no encouragement, that he fhould ever reco- 
 ver! But It feemed not to occafion the leaft dif- 
 compofure in him, nor to make any alteration as 
 to the freedom or plcafantnefs of his converfation.J 
 Lord's-day, June 7. My foul was fo drawn 
 forth, this day, by what I heard of the *< exceed- 
 ing precioufnefs of the grace of God*s Spirit,'* 
 that it almoft overcame my body ; I faw that true 
 grace is exceeding precious indeed : that it is 
 very rare; and that there is but a very fmaU 
 degree of it, even where the reality of it is to be 
 found. 
 
 In the preceding week, I enjoyed fome com- 
 fortable feafons of meditatic.i. One morning 
 the caufe of God appeared exceeding precious to 
 me: I faw alfo, that God has an infinitely 
 greater concern for it, than I could poflTibly have 3 
 that if I have'any true love to this blefled interelt, 
 it is only a di'op derived from that ocean ; hence, 
 I was ready to *' lift up my head with joy ;" and 
 conclude, " Well, if God's caufe be fo dear 
 and precious to him, he will promote it*" 
 
 fHe was advifed by phyiicians ftill to continue 
 riding, as what would tend to prolong his life, 
 "lie was at a lofs for fome time which way to bend 
 
 his 
 
t 229 ] 
 
 his courfe ; but finally determined to ride to 
 Bofton ; we having concluded that one of this 
 family fhould go with him and be helpful to him 
 in his low Hate."} 
 
 June 9. I fet out on a journey from Northamp- 
 ton to Bofton. Having now continued to ride 
 for fome confiderable time, I felt myfelf much 
 better, and I found, that in proportion to the 
 profpett I had of being reftored to si ftate of ufe- 
 fulnefs, fo I delired the continuance of life : but 
 death appeared, inconceivably more defirable to 
 me, than a ufelefs life ; yet blefted be God, I 
 found my heart fully refigned to this greatefl of 
 affliftions, if God faw fit thus to deal with me, 
 July 12. I arrived in Boflon this day, fome- 
 Avhat fatigued with my journey. I'hereis no rejly 
 but in Gob: fatigues of body, and anxieties of 
 mind, attend us, both in town and country, 
 
 June i8. I was taken exceeding ill, and 
 brought to the gates of death, by the breaking of 
 fmall ulcers in my lung?, as my phyfician fuppof- 
 ed. In this extreme weak flate I continued 
 feveral weeks, and was frequently fo low, as to 
 be utterly fpeechlefs : and even after I had fo far 
 revived, as to ftep out of doors, I was exercifed 
 every day with a faint turn, which continued 
 ufually fouror five hours; at which times, though 
 I could fay Yes or No, yet I could not fpeak one 
 fentence, without making itops for breadth ; and 
 divers times in this feafon, my friends gathered 
 round by bed, to fee me breathe my laft. 
 
 How I was, the firil day or two of my illnefs, 
 with regard to the exercife of reafon, 1 fcarcely 
 know; but the third day, and conftantly after- 
 wards, for four or five weeks together, I enjoyed 
 much ferenity of mind, and clearnefs of thought^ 
 as perhaps 1 ever did in my life ; and I think, my 
 mind never penetrated with fo much eafe and free- 
 dom into divine things, and I never felt fo capa- 
 ble of demonfhrating the truth of many important 
 dotlrincs of the gofpel as now. 
 
 As God was pleafed to afford me clearnefs of 
 
 thought almoft continually, for feveral weeks 
 
 U together; 
 
[ 230 ] 
 
 together; fo he enabled me, in fome meafure, to 
 employ my time to valuable purpofcs. I was 
 eciabied to write a number of important letters, to 
 friends in remote places: and fometimes I wrote 
 when 1 was fpeechlels, i, c. unable to maintain 
 convcrfation with any body. — Befidcs this, I had 
 many vifitants ; with whom, when I was able to 
 fpeak, 1 always converfcd of the things of religion ; 
 and was peculiarly afliltcd in diliinguifhing be- 
 tween true -dvAJatfe religion. And efpecially, I 
 clifcourfed repeatedly on the nature and necefhty 
 oi ih^t humiiiution, felf eviptincfs, or full conviction 
 of a perfon's being utterly undone in himfelf, 
 which is necelTary in oiJcr to a faving/^zM, and 
 the extreme diJiciiUy of being brought to this, and 
 the great clanger there is of pcrlons taking up 
 with fome fcLf-righteovs appearances of it. The 
 danger of this I elpecially dwelt upon, being per- 
 fuaded that multitudes perifh in this hidden way ; 
 and becaufe fo little is laid from molt pulpits to 
 di (cover any danger here : fo that perfons being 
 never effeclually brought to die to themfelves, 
 are never truly united to Chrill. . I alfo difcourfed 
 much on what I take to be the effence of true re- 
 ligion, that God-like temper and difpofuioii of 
 foul, and that holy convcrfation and behaviour 
 that may ju/lly claim the honour of having God 
 for its original and patron. And 1 have rcafon to 
 hope God bleffed my difcourfing to fome, both 
 minilters and people; fo that my time was not 
 wholly iofl. 
 
 ("Alfo the honourable Commidioners in Bofton, 
 ef the ineojporated fociety in London for propa- 
 gating the gofpel in New-Englaod, and parts 
 adjacent, having a legacy of the late Dr. Daniel 
 Williams of London, for the (upport oi two mif- 
 fj-.naries to the Heathen, were pleated, while he 
 was in Bollon, to confult him about a mifhon to 
 thofe Indians called the Six Natioixs j and were fo 
 fatisfied with his fentiments on this head, and 
 had that confidence in his faithfulnefs, and judge- 
 ment, that they defired him to recomm.end a cou- 
 ple of perfons ht to be employed in this bufinefs. 
 
 Mr, 
 
r 2^1 J 
 
 Mr. Brainerd's refloration from his extremely 
 low (late in Boflon, fo as to go abroad again and 
 ■to travel, was very un ex peeled to him and his 
 friends. My daughter wlio was wi^h him, writes 
 thus concerning him, in a letter, dated June 23. 
 
 • " On Thurfday, he was very ill of a violent 
 
 fever, and extreme pain in his head and brftalV., 
 and, at turns, delirious. So he remained till 
 Saturday evening, when he feemed to be in the 
 agonies of death : the family was up with him 
 'till one or two o'clock, expefting every hour 
 would be his laft. On Sabbatlvday he was a 
 little revived, his head was better, but very full 
 of pain, and exceeding fore at his breaft, much 
 put to it for breath. YeOierday he was better 
 upon all accounts. Laft night he flept but little. 
 This morning he is much worfe. Dr. Pynchoa 
 iays,* he has no hopes of his life ; nor does he 
 think it likely he will ever come out of his cham- 
 ber.'' 
 
 His phyfician, Jofeph. Pynchon, Efq; whea 
 he vifited him in Bofton, attributed his finking 
 fo fuddenly into a flate fo nigh unto death, to the 
 breaking of ulcers, that had been long gathering 
 in his lungs, and there difcharging and diffufing 
 their purulent matter; which, while nature was 
 labouring and flruggling to throw off, (thatcould 
 be done nootherwife, than by a gradual llraining 
 of it through the fmall veflels of thofe vital parts,) 
 this occafioned an high fever, and violent cough- 
 ing, and threw the whole trame of nature into 
 the utmofl diforder ; butfuppofed, if the flrength 
 of nature held 'till the lungs had this way gra- 
 dually cleared themfelves of this putrid matter, 
 he might revive, and continue better, 'till new 
 ulcers gathered and broke; but then he would 
 furely fink again ; and that there was no hope of 
 his recovery ; but (as he exprelTed himfelf to one 
 of my neighbours} he was as certainly a dead man^ 
 as if he was fiiot through the heart. 
 
 But lo it was ordered in divine providence^ 
 
 that the llrength of nature held out through this 
 
 great conflift, fo as juft to efcapc the grave at that 
 
 U 2 turn : 
 
I 232 ] 
 
 turn : and then he revived, to the aftoniflimeat 
 of all that knew his cafe. 
 
 After he began to revive, he was vifited by hi» 
 youngeft brother, Mr. Ifreal Braineid, a fludent 
 at Yale-College ; who having heard of his extreme 
 illnefs, went from hence to Bofton, in order to 
 fee him. 
 
 •This vifit was attended with a mixture of joy 
 and forrovv to Mr. Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced 
 to fee his brother, efpecially becaufe he had 
 defired an opportunity of fome religious con verfa- 
 lion with him before he died. But this meeting 
 was attended with forrow, as his brother brought 
 to him the tidings of his filler Spencer's death at 
 Haddam ; a filter, between whom and him had 
 long fubfifted a peculiar dear affection, and much 
 intimacy in fpiritual matters. He had heard 
 nothing of her ficknefs 'till this report of her 
 death. But he had thefe comforts together with 
 the tidings, a confidence of her being gone to 
 heaven, and an expe£lation of his foon meeting 
 her there. — His brother continued with him 'till 
 he left the town, and came with him from thence 
 lo Northampton. 
 
 Concerning the laft Sabbath Mr. Brainerd 
 fpent at Bolton, he writes in his diary as follows. 
 
 Lord's-day, July 19, I was juft able to attend 
 public worfhip, being carried to the houfe of 
 God in a chaife. I heard Dr. Sewall preach in 
 the forenoon; partook of the Lord's fupper at 
 this time. In the facrament, I faw aftonifhing 
 suifdom difplayed ; fuch wifdom as required the 
 tongues of angels and glorified faints to celebrate ; 
 it feemed to me I never fhould do any thing at 
 adoring the infinite wijdom of God difcovered ia 
 the contrivance of man's redemption, until I 
 arrived at a world of perfeftion ; yet I could not 
 help flriv ing to *' call upon my foul, and all with- 
 in me to blefs the name of God." 
 
 The next day he fet out in the cool of the after- 
 jioon, on his journey to Northampton, attended 
 by his brother, and my daughter that went with 
 iiim to Bofton ; and would have been accompanied 
 
 out 
 
[ 233 1 
 
 out of the town by a number of gentlemen, had 
 not his averfion to any thing of pomp andihew 
 prevented it. 
 
 July 25. I arrived here (at Nortliampton) 
 having let out from Bodon on Monday, about 
 four o'clock P. M. In this j-ourney, I rode about 
 fiKtecn nnle^ a day^ one day with another, I 
 was fometimes extremely tired^. fo that it fcemed 
 irnpoihble for me to proceed any further: at 
 other times 1 was confiderably better, and felt 
 fome freedom both of body and mind. 
 
 Lord's-day, July 26. This day, I faw clearly, 
 that God himfelfcouJd not make me happy unleis 
 I could be in a capacity to " plcaie and glorify 
 }um for ever;" take away this^ and admit me 
 into all the fine heavens that can be conceived 
 by men or angels, and I.fhould ftill be mifcrabii 
 for ever. 
 
 Though he had fo far revived, as to be able 
 to travel thus far, yet he manifefted no expecta- 
 tion of recovery : he fuppofed, as his phyhcian 
 did, that his being brought fo near to death at 
 Bolton, was owing to the breaking of ulcers in 
 his lungs : he told nie that he had had feveral fuch 
 ill turns befpre, only not to fo high a degree, but 
 as he fuppofed, owing to the fame caufe ; and 
 that he was brought lower and lov/er every time; 
 and it appeared to him, that in his lail lickncls 
 (m Boflon) he was brought as Low as pollibls, 
 and yet alive ; and that he had not the leail ert- 
 pcdlation of furviving the next return of this 
 breaking: of ulcers: but Ibill appeared perfe6l!y 
 calm. 
 
 On V/ednefdjy morning, the week after he 
 came to Northampton, he took leave of his 
 brother I freal, never expecting to fee him- a<Tain 
 in this world. 
 
 When Mr. Brainerd. came hither, he had fo 
 much firength as to be able, from day to- day, tK> 
 ride out two or three miles, and to return ; and 
 fometimes to pray in the family; but from this 
 time he fenfibly decayed, and became w-cakcraad 
 Wwaker^ 
 
 V 3 While 
 
L 234 J 
 
 While he was here, his converfation from firft 
 to lafl was much on the fame fubjefts as it had 
 been in Bofton : he was much in fpeaking of the 
 nature of true religion of heart and practice, as 
 diftinguifhed from its various counterfeits ; expref- 
 fing his great concern, that the latter did fo much 
 prevail in many places. He often manifefted his 
 great abhorrence of all fuch doEirines znd principles 
 in religion, as in any wife favoured of, and had 
 any (though but a remote) tendency to Antino- 
 mianifm ; of all fuch notions as feemed to dimi- 
 nifti the neceffity of holinefs of life, or to abate 
 men's regard to the commands of God, and a 
 flrift, diligent, and univerfal, praftice of virtue, 
 under a pretence of depreciating our works, and 
 jnagnifying God's free grace. He fpake often, 
 with much deteflation, of fuch dijcoxxeries and joys 
 as have nothing of the nature ofJanSiificationf in 
 them, and do not tend to ftriftnefs, tendernefs, 
 and diligence in religion, and meeknefs and 
 benevolence towards mankind ; and he alfo 
 declared, that he looked on fuch pretended humi- 
 lity as worthy of no regard, that was manifefted 
 by modejly of conduB dir\d coyiverfation. 
 
 After he came hither, as long as he lived, he 
 was much in fpeaking of the future profperity of 
 Zion that is fo often prom.ifed in fcripture ; and 
 his mind feemed to be carried forth with intenfe 
 -dchres, that religion might fpeedily revive and 
 flourifh ; yea, the nearer death advanced, flill 
 the more did his mind feem to-be taken up with 
 this fubjcdc He told m.e, when near his t.ndy 
 that *' he never in all his life had his mind fo 
 led forth in defires and earnell prayers for the 
 flourifhing of Chrijfs kingdom on earth, as fmce 
 he was brought fo exceeding low at Bofton,'* 
 He feemed much to wonder, that there appeared 
 no more of a difpofition in minifters and people 
 to pray for the flouriftiing of religion through 
 the world ; that fo little a part of their prayers 
 was generally taken up about it, in their families, 
 andelfewhere : and particularly, he feveral times 
 exprelfed his wonder, that thjwe appeared no 
 
 xnoie 
 
[ ^35 ] 
 
 more forwardnefs to comply with the propofat 
 lately made, in a memorial from a number of 
 minillers in Scotland, and fent over into America, 
 for united extraordinary prayer^ among Chrifl's 
 minillers and people, for th« coming of Chrijl's 
 kingdom: and he ient as his dying advice to his 
 ozvn congregation, that they lhouldpra6life agreeably 
 to that propofal.* 
 
 Though he was exceeding weak, yet there 
 appeared in him a continual care well to employ 
 time, and fill it up with fomething that might bs 
 profitable ; either profitable converfation, or 
 writing letters to abfent friends, or noting fome- 
 thing in his diary, or looking over his former 
 writings, correcting them, and preparing them 
 to be left in the hands of others at his death, or 
 giving fome direftions concerning a future manage- 
 ment of his people, or employment in fecret 
 devotions. He feemed never to be eafy, however 
 ill, if he was not doing fomething for God, or 
 in his fervice. 
 
 In his diary for Lord's-day^ Augufl 16, he 
 fpeaks of his having fo much refrefhment of foul 
 in the houfe of God, that it feemed alfo to refrefli . 
 his body. And this is not only noted in his 
 diary, but was very obfervable to others ; it was 
 very apparent, not only, that his mind was exhi- 
 larated with inward confolation, but alfo that his 
 animal fpirits and bodily ftrength were remarkably 
 
 reflrored. But this was the laft time that ever 
 
 he attended public vvorfhip- on the Siibbath, 
 
 On Tuefday morning that week (I being abfent 
 en a journey) he prayed, v/ith my family ; but 
 not without much difficulty; and this was the 
 laft family prayer that ever he made. 
 
 * His congregation, fince this, have with great chearfuU 
 nefs and unaniminy fallen in with this advice, and have praC" 
 tifed agreeably to the propofal from Scotland j and have at 
 times appeared with uncommon engagcdnefs and fervency o£ 
 fplrit in their united devotions, purluant to that propofal* 
 Alfo the prefbyteries of New-York, and New-Brunfwick, 
 fmce this, have with one confent, fallen in with die pro- 
 pofal; as likewife fome otli^rs of God';* people in thofe parti. 
 
 He 
 
c ^36 r 
 
 f He had been wont, till now, frequently t» 
 ride out, two or three miles ; but this week, on 
 Thurfday, was the laft time he ever did fo.") 
 
 Lord's-day, Augufl 23. This morning I wa3 
 confiderably refreftied with the thought, yea,, 
 the expeftation of the enlargement of Chrijl's king* 
 dom ; and I could not but hope, the time was at 
 hand, wfeen Babylon the great would fall, and 
 rife no more. I was unable to attend public 
 worftiip : but God was pleafed to afford me fatis- 
 faftion in divine thoughts. Nothing fo refrefties 
 my foul, as when 1 can go to God, yea, to God 
 my exceeding joy. ' . 
 
 In this week paft, I had divers turns of inward 
 refrefhing, though my body was inexprefTibly 
 weak. Sometimes my foul centered in God, as 
 my only portion ; and I felt that I fhould be for 
 ever unhappy, if he did not reign ;• I faw the 
 fweetnefs and happinefs of being his fubjeft, at 
 his difpofal. This made all my difficulties quick- 
 ly vanifh. 
 
 [Till this week he had been wont to lodge in a- 
 room above ftairs ; but he now grew fo weak-, 
 that he was no longer able to go up ftairs and 
 down. Friday, Augufl: 28, was the lafl time he 
 ever went above flairs, henceforward he betook, 
 himfelf to a lower room. 
 
 Sept. 2. Being the day of our public leftura, 
 he leemed to be refrefhed with feeing the neigh- 
 bouring minifters, and exprefled a great dehrc 
 once more ta go to the houfe of God ; and accord- 
 ingly rode 10 the meeting, and attended' divine 
 fervice, while the Reverend Mr. Woodbridge of 
 Hatfield preached. He fignified that he fuppofed 
 it to be the lad time that ever he fhould attend 
 ^be public worfhip. as it proved. And indeed it 
 wasVne lafl time that ever he went out- at our 
 gate alive. 
 
 On Saturday evening, he was vifited- by hi» 
 brother Mr. John Brainerd. He was much re- 
 frcPned by this unexpefted vifit, this brother 
 being peculiarly dear to him ; and he feemed to 
 rejoice in a devout- manner, to fee him, and so 
 
 hear 
 
[ ^37 J 
 
 Jiear the comfortable tidings he brought concern* 
 ing the ftatc of his dear Indians : and a circum- 
 ftance of this vifit, that he was exceeding glad 
 of, was, that his brother brought him fome of his 
 private writings from New- Jerfey, and particu- 
 larly his diary that he had kept for many years 
 paft.] 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. 6. I began to read fome of 
 my private writings, which my brother brought 
 me ; and was conftderably refrelhed with what I 
 met with in them. 
 
 Sept. 7. I proceeded further in reading my 
 old private writings, and found they had the 
 fame efFeft upon me as before • I could not but 
 rejoice and blefs God for what paffed long ago, 
 which without writing had been entirely loft» 
 
 This evening when I was in great diitrefs of 
 body, my foul longed that God fhould be glorified : 
 I faw there was no heaven but this. • I could not 
 but fpeak to the by-ftandcrs then of the only 
 happinefs, viz. pleafing God. Oh that I could 
 ever live to Gqd ! The day, I truft, is at hand, 
 the perfe£l day : Oh, the day of deliverance from 
 all fin. 
 
 Lord's-day, Sept. 13. I was much refreflied 
 and engaged in meditation and writing, and found 
 a heart to aft for God. My fpirits were refrefhed, 
 and my foul delighted to do fomething for God* 
 
 [On the evening following, his feet began to 
 fwell, which thenceforwards fwelled more and 
 more. A fymptom of his dilTolution coming on. 
 
 The next day his brother left him, being obliged 
 to return to New- Jerfey •n fome bufinefs of great 
 importance, intending to return again with all 
 pofhble fpeed, hoping to fee his brother yet once 
 more in the land of the living. 
 
 Mr. Brainerd having now with much delibera- 
 tion confidered the important affair forementioned, 
 left with him by the commifTioners in Bolton, 
 viz. the recommending two perfons proper to be 
 employed as miffionaries to the fix Nations, he 
 about this tirrje wrote a letter, recommending 
 two young gentlemen of his acc[uaintance Mr.Elihu 
 
 Spencer 
 
C =38 ] 
 
 Spencer of Eaft-IIaddam, and Mr. Job Strong of 
 Northampton, The commifTioners on the receipt 
 of this letter, unanimoufly agreed to accept of 
 the perfons he had recommended. 
 
 He alfo this week, wrote a letter to a gentle* 
 man in Bofton, relating to the growth of the In- 
 dian fchool, and the need of another fchool- 
 mallcr. The gentleman, on the receipt of this 
 letter, had a meeting, and agreed with chearful- 
 nefs to give 200I. (in bills of the old tenor) for 
 the fupport of another fchool-mafter ; and defired 
 Mr. Pemberton of New-York, as foon as poflTible 
 to procure a fuitable perfon for that fervice ; and 
 alfo agreed to allow 75I, to defray fome fpecial 
 charges that were requihte to encourage th* 
 miffion to the fix Nations. 
 
 Mr. Brainerd fpent himfelf much in writing 
 thofe letters, being exceeding weak : but it feem- 
 ed to be much to his fatisfaclion, that he had been 
 enabled to do it; hoping that it was fomething 
 done for God, and which might be for the 
 advancement of Chrift's kingdom and glory. In 
 writing the laft of thefe letters, he was obliged to 
 ufe the hand of another, not being able to write 
 himfelf. 
 
 On Thurfday (Sept. 17.) was the laft time that 
 ever he went out of his lodging-room. That day, 
 he was again vifited by his brother Ifreal, who 
 continued with him thenceforward till his death. 
 On that evening he was taken with a diarrheas 
 which- he looked upon as another fign of hi* 
 approaching death s whereupon he exprreffed him. 
 felf thus ; «' Oh, the glorious time is now coming ! 
 I have longed to ferve God perfeftly : now God 
 will gratify thofe defires!" And from time to 
 time, at the feveral new fymptoms of his diOblu- 
 tion, he was fo far from being damped, that he 
 feemed to be animated; as being glad at the 
 appearances of death's approach. He often ufed 
 the epithet, glcrious, when fpeaking of the day of 
 his death, calling it that glorious day. And as he 
 faw his difTolution gradually approaching, he was 
 much in talking about it, and alfo fettling all his 
 
 affairsji. 
 
[ 239 ] 
 
 affairs, very particularly and minutely giving 
 direftions concerning what he would have done. 
 And the nearer death approached, the more de(i- 
 roushe feemcd to be of it. He feveral. times fpake 
 of the different kinds o( loillingnejs to die : and 
 fpoke of it as a mean kind of willingnefs to die, to 
 be willing to leave the body only to get rid^f pain. 
 Sept. 19.* While I attempted to walk a little, 
 my. thoughts turned thus ; •' How infinitely fwcet 
 it is, to love God, and be all for him !*' Upon 
 which it was fuggefled to me, ** You are not aa 
 angel^ lively and a6live," To which my foul im- 
 mediately replied, I as fincerely defire to love 
 ana glorify God, as an angel in heaven." JLJpou 
 which it was fuggefled again,' *< But you are 
 filthy, and not fit for heaven." Hereupon in- 
 itantly appeared, the bleflfed robes of Chrilt's 
 ^ighteonfnefs, which I could not but exult and 
 triumph in; and I viewed the infinite excellency 
 of God, and my foul even broke with longings, 
 that God fhould he glorified. I thought of dignity 
 in heaven : but inflantly the thought returned, 
 *' I do not go to heaven to get honour, but to 
 give all pofiTible glory and praife." Oh, how I 
 longed that God fhould be glorified on earth alCol 
 Oh, I was made, for eternity, if God might be 
 glorified ! Bodily pains I cared not for; though 
 1 was then in extremity, I never felt eafier ; I 
 felt willing to glorify God in that Hate, as long 
 as he plcafed. The grave appeared really fweet, 
 and I longed to lodge my weary bones in it ; but ■ 
 Oh, that God might be glorijiid ! this was the 
 burden of all my cry. Oh, I knew, I Ihould be 
 aSlive as an angel, in heaven ; and that I fhquld 
 
 be ftrlpped of my filthy garments ! But Oh, 
 
 to love and praife God more, to pleaft him for 
 ever ! this my foul panted after, and even now 
 pants for while I write. Oh that God might be 
 ghrified in the whole earth ! " Lord, let thy 
 kingdom come." I longed for a fpirit oi preach' 
 ing to defcend and reft on viinijlers^ that they 
 might addrefs the confciences of men with clofe- 
 nels and power, I faw, God had the refidue of 
 
 the 
 
I 240 1 
 
 the Spirit ; and my foul longed it ftiould be 
 « poured from on high.'* I could not but plead 
 with God for my aear congregation, that he 
 would preferve it, and not fuffer his great namz to 
 lofe its glory in that work; my foul fbill longing, 
 that God might be glorified, 
 
 [In the evening, " his mouth fpake out of 
 the abundance of his heart, expreffing in a veiy 
 affefting manner much the fame things as are 
 written in his diary: and among many other 
 extraordinary expreflions, were thefe ; " My hta' 
 ven is to pleaje God, and glorify him, and to give 
 all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory^'; 
 that is the heaven I long for; this is my religion^ 
 and that is my happinefs, and always was, ever 
 fince I had any true religion ; and all thofe that 
 are of that religion (hall meet me in heaven. I 
 do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to give 
 honour to God, It is no matter where I fliall be 
 ftationed in heaven, whether I have a high or a 
 low feat there; but to love, and pleafe, and 
 glorify God is all : had I a thoufand fouls ^ if they 
 were worth any thing, I would give them all to 
 God ; but I have nothing to give, when all is 
 done. It is impofTible for any rational creature 
 to he happy without afting all/or God: God him^ 
 felf could, not make him happy any other way. 
 I long to be in heaven, praijing and glorifying 
 God with the holy angels: all my defire is to 
 glorify God. My he^rt goes out to the burying- 
 place : it feems to me a defirahle place : but Oh to 
 glorify God! that is it ; that is above all. It is 
 a great comfort to me, to think that I have done 
 a little/or God in the world : Oh! it is but a 
 very fmall matter ; yet I have done a littk; and I 
 lament it, that I have not done Tnort for him. 
 There is nothing in the world worth living 
 for, but doing good ^ndfinijhing God's work, I fee 
 nothing elfe in the world, that can yield any 
 fatisfaftion, befides living to God, pkafing him, 
 and doing his whole will. My greateft joy and 
 comfort has been, to do fomething for promoting 
 the interell of religion, and the iouls of particu- 
 lar 
 
I =41 ] 
 
 l^r peiTons: and now, in my illnefs, wTiile T am* 
 full of pain and diilrefs, from day to day, all the 
 comfort I have, is in being able to do fome little 
 char (orjmali piece of work; /<?? Cod; either by 
 fbmething that 1 fay, or writing, 6r fuiue other, 
 way. 
 
 [He intermingled with thefe and other i kc ex- 
 prelTions, many pathetic counjds to tho^fe that 
 v/ere about him ; particularly to my children aad 
 fervants. He applied himlelf lo Tome of my 
 younger children at this, time ; calling them to 
 him, and fpeaking to them one by one.^ feuing 
 before them in a very plain manner, the nature 
 of true piety, and its great impoitance ; earnellly 
 warning them not to reil in any thing iLort of 
 that true and thorough change of heart, and a 
 life devoted to God ; counfeliing them not to be 
 ilack in tlic great bufinefs of religion, nor in the 
 lead to delay it: enforcing his counfels with this, 
 that his words were the words of a dyin^ man : 
 faid he, *« 1 fhall die here, and here ihall 1 be 
 buried, and here you will lee my grave, and do 
 you remember what 1 have laid to you. 1 am go- 
 ing into eternity : and it is fvveet to nie to think 
 of eternity ; the endleflnefs of it makes it fweet : 
 but Oh, what fhall 1 fay to tlie eterriiy of the 
 Tuicked I 1 cannot mention it, nor think of it ; 
 the thought is too dreadful. \V;ien \ou fee my 
 grave, then remember what I faid to you when. 
 1 was alive ; then think with yourielf, hovv that 
 n;an that lies in that grave, couniellcd and warn- 
 ed me to prepare for death." 
 
 liii. body fcemed to be marvclloufly flrerig?hrned, 
 through the itiward vigour of his adnd j fo that, 
 although befoie he was fo weak r.e could hardly 
 utter a fcntence, yet now he continued his moit 
 afTedting difcourfe for inort than an hour, v\ ilh 
 Icarce any intermiflion ; and laid of it, when he 
 had done,- '' it was the-lali icrmon that ever he 
 fliouid prca'ch." 
 
 [It appears by what is noted in his di.^ry both 
 
 of this day and the evening piecvdmg, that his 
 
 mind was at this time much impreficd with aier.fe 
 
 W of 
 
f *42 I 
 
 f)f the importance of the work of the minijlry^ 
 ^nd the need of the grace of God, and his fpecial 
 a (Ti (lance in this work : and it alfo appeared in 
 what he exprefllcd in converfation ; particularly 
 in his difcourfe to his brother Ifrael, who was 
 then a member of V^alc-collegc at New-Haven, 
 and had been profecuting his ftiidies there, to 
 that end, that he might be fitted for the work, of 
 the miniflry, and was now with him, Ke now, 
 and from time to time, recommended to his 
 brother a life of ielf-denial, of weanednefs froin 
 the world, and devotednefs to God, and an 
 earnefl endeavour to obtain much of the grace of 
 God's Spirit, and God's gracious influence on 
 his heart ; reprefenting the great need which 
 minifiers fland in of them, and the unfpeakable 
 benefit of them from his own experience. Among 
 many other exprefiions he faid, " When minifters 
 feel thefe gracious influences on their hearts, it 
 wonderfully afliftsthem to come at the confciences 
 of men, and as it were to handle them with 
 hands; whereas, without them, whatever reafon 
 and oratory we make u(e of, we do but make ufe 
 of Itumps inflead of hands. "J 
 
 Sept. 21. 1 began to correft a little volume of 
 fny private writings : God, I believe, remarkably 
 helped me in it ; my ilrength was furprilingly 
 lengthened out, and my thoughts quick and live- 
 ly, and my foul refrelhed, hoping it might be a 
 work for God. Oh, how good, how fweet it is 
 to labour for God ! 
 
 Sept. 22. 1 was again employed in reading and 
 correfting, and had the fame fuccefs, as the day 
 before. 1 was exceeding weak ; but it feemed to 
 refrefh my foul thus to fpend time. 
 
 23. 1 finiftied my correftions of the little piece 
 foremcntioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful : 
 It feemed as if 1 had now done all my work in 
 this world, and flood ready for my call to a better. 
 As long as 1 fee any thing to be done for God, 
 life is worth having: but Oh, how vain and un- 
 worthy it is, to live for any lower end I 
 
 25. This day i was unfpeakably weak, and 
 
 iitllc 
 
 J 
 
[ H3 1 
 
 little better than fpeechlefs all the day : however^ 
 I was able to write a little, and felt comfortably. 
 Oh, it refrcfhed my foul, to think of former 
 things, of defires to glorify God, of the pleafures 
 of living to him I " Oh my dear God, I am- 
 ipeedily coming to thee, I hope, haflen the day, 
 
 Lord, if it be thy bleffed will: Oa come, Lord 
 Jefus, come quickly. Amen."+ 
 
 Sept. 27. He felt an unufual appetite to food; 
 with which his mind I'eemed to be exhilerated, as 
 a fign of the very near approoich of death; he faid 
 upon it, '• I was born on a Sabbatli-day ; and I 
 have reafon to think I wasnev/-born on a Sabbath^ 
 day s and I hope 1 (hall die on this Sabbath-day j 
 
 1 Ihall look upon it as a favour, if it may be the 
 will of God that it iliould be fo : I long for the 
 time. Oh, why is the chariot Jo long incoming? 
 tohy tarry the tuheds of his chariot ? I am very- 
 willing to part with all: 1 am willing to part 
 with my dear brother John, and never to fee 
 him again, to go to be for ever with the Lord, 
 Oh, when 1 go there, hgw will God's dear 
 church on earth be upon my mind !" 
 
 Afterwards the fame morning, being afked how 
 hfi did? he anfwered, '* I am almoft in eternity : 
 1 long to be there. My work is done : I have 
 done with all my friends : all the world is nothing 
 to me. I long to be in heaven, praifmg and giori* 
 Jying God with the holy angels : all my defire is to 
 glorify God." 
 
 During the whole of thefe lafl two weeks o£ 
 his life, he feemed to continue loole from all the 
 world, as having done his work, and done witl^r 
 all things here below, having nothing to do but 
 to die, and abiding in an earnefl defire and ex- 
 peftation of the happy moment, when his foul 
 ihould take its flight, and go to a ftate of perfec- 
 tion, of holinefs, and perfect glorifying and en- 
 
 + This was the laft that ever he wrote in his diary with hi* 
 own hand : though it is continued a little farther, in a bro- 
 ken manner; written by his brother Ifrael ; but indifted by 
 hi^ mouth. 
 
 W 2 joying 
 
C 244 ] 
 
 joying God. He faid, <' That the confideration 
 of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had 
 a long time been peculiarly fwcet to liini.** He 
 from lime to time fpake of his being willing, to 
 leave the body and the world imrncaiately that 
 moment, if it was the will of God. He alio was 
 much in expreffing his longings that the church of 
 Chrift on earth might flourini, and Ch rift's king- 
 dom here might be advanced, notwith (Ian ding he 
 was about to leave the eari/iy and fhould not with 
 his eyes lu-'hold the defirable event. He faid to 
 me, one morning. " My thoughts have been em- 
 ploved on the old dear theme, the profperity of 
 God's church on earth. As I waked out of fleep, 
 I- was led to cry for the pouring out of God's 
 fpirit. and the advancement cf Chrifl's kingdom, 
 which the dear Redeemer did, and fuffered fo 
 much for. It is that efpccially makes me long 
 ior u." 
 
 He once told me, that <* he had formerly long- 
 ed for the out-pouring of the Spirit of God, and 
 the glorious times of the church and hoped they 
 were coming : and fiiould have been willing to 
 have lived to promote religion at that time, if 
 that had been the will of God ; but (fays he) I am 
 willing it fhould be as it is : I would not have the 
 choice to make for myfcif, for ten thoufand 
 worlds." He exprefTed on his deaih bed a full 
 perfuafion that iie fnouid in heaven^ fee ihe prof- 
 perity of the church on earth, and fliould rejoice 
 with Chrift therein : and the confideration of it 
 feemed to be highly p^leafing to his mind. 
 
 He alfo ftill dwelt much on the great importance 
 of the work of minijiers ; and exprefied his long- 
 ings, that they might hcjilttd with tht Sprit of God ; 
 aifid manifefted much deliie to lee fome of the 
 r/cighbounr(g minifters, whom he had fome ac- 
 qa nntance with, thai he might converle freely 
 with them on th<it fubjed: before he died. And 
 it fo happened, that he had opportunity with 
 iome of tliem, according to his defire. 1 
 
 Another thing that lay much on his heart, and 
 that he fpake of, from time to time, in thefe near 
 
 approaches 
 
r 245^ j 
 
 approaches of death, was the fpiritaal profperity 
 of his own congregation *, and when he Ipake of 
 them, it was with peculiar tendernefs, fo that his 
 fpeech would be prefently interrupted and drown* 
 ed with tears. 
 
 He alfo expreffed much fatisfa6tion in th€ difpo- 
 fals of providence, with regard to the circum- 
 flances of his death', particularly that God had 
 before his death given him the opportunity he 
 had in Boflon, with fo many confiderable pcrfons, 
 minillers, and others, to give in his teflimony 
 for God, and again ft falfe religion ; and there to 
 lay before charitable gentlemen, the (late of the 
 Indians, to fo good e(fe6l: and that God had 
 fince given him opportunity to write to them fur- 
 ther concerning thefe affairs; and to write other 
 letters of importance, that he hoped might be of 
 good influence with regard to the flate of religion 
 among the Indians, and elfewhcre. after his death* 
 He alio mentioned it as what he accounted a mer- 
 ciful circumftance of his death, that he fliould die 
 here. And. (peaking of thefc things, he faid, 
 <* God had granted him all his defire;*' and 
 fignified^ that now he could with the greater 
 alacrity leave the world. 
 
 Sept. 28* I w^s able to read, and make fame 
 few correftions in my private writings; but 
 found I could not write, as I had done ;, 1 found 
 xnyfelf fenfibly declined in all reluefts. It has 
 been only from a little while before noon, till 
 about one or two o'clock, that I have been able 
 to do any thing for fome time pall : yet this re- 
 ftefhed my heart, that 1 could do any thing, 
 either public or private for God, 
 
 This evening, he was fuppofed to be dying : 
 he thought fo himfelf, and was glad at the a|^)pear- 
 ance of death. He v/as almoft fpeechlels, but 
 his lips appeared, to move ; one that fat veiy^near 
 him, heard him utter, " Come, Lord Jefus, 
 come quickly.— -Oh, why is his chariot fo long in 
 coming !" — After he revived, he blamed himfelf 
 for having been too eager to be gone. In expreff- 
 ing what he found in his mind at- that time, he 
 'W 3 faid. 
 
r 246 1 
 
 f<iid. he then found an inexprefTibly fvvcct love 
 to thole that he looked upon as belonging to Chri/f, 
 beyond all that ever he felt before ; io that it 
 *^ fcemed (to ufe his own words) like a little 
 piece of heaven to have one of them near hiin." 
 Being afked, whether he heard the prayer that 
 was fat his defire^ made with him ; he faid '-'Yes, 
 he heard every word, and had an uncommon 
 fcnfe of the things that were uttered in that prayer, 
 and that every word reached his heart/' 
 
 On the evening of Sept. 29, a; he lay in his 
 bed, he feemed to be in an extraordinary frttme ; 
 bis mind greatly engaged concerning the profpe- 
 r5iy of Zion 1 there being prefent at that time two 
 rnrdidat^'s for the vjiniftry^ he dcfired us all to 
 unite in finging a Pfahn on that fnbjc6l, even 
 Zion's profperity. And on his defire we fung a 
 part of the i02d Pfalm. This feemed much to re- 
 frefh him, and ga-'e him new ftrength ; fo that, 
 though before he could fcarce fpeak at all, now 
 he proceeded, ni«h fome freedom of fpeech, ta 
 give his dying counl'els to thofe two young gentle- 
 men, relating to that great work of the minifliy 
 they were dcfjgned for •, and in particular, earnefl- 
 ly recommended to them frequent [ecici fa/? ing 
 and prayer : and enforced his counfel with regard 
 to this, from his own experience of the great com- 
 fort and benefit of it; which (faid hej I fliould 
 not men' ion, were it not that I am a dying perfon. 
 And after he had finifhed his counfel, he made 
 a prayer, in the audience of us all ; wherein, be- 
 fid«'s praying for this family, for his brethren, 
 a-'id- thofe candidates for the miniftry, and for 
 his own congrega'.ion, he earneftly prayed for the 
 r.'viving and flourifhing of religion in the world. 
 
 Till now, he had every day fat «ip part of the 
 dav ; but after this he never rofe from his bed. 
 
 Sept. 30. I was obliged to keep my bed the 
 whole day, through weaknefs. However I re- 
 deemed a little time, and with help of my brother, 
 read and corre£led about a dozen pages in my 
 M. S. giving an account of my converlion. 
 
 06lober 2, My foul was this day, at turns, 
 
 fweetly 
 
[ 247 1 
 
 fvveetly fet on God : 1 longed to be with him, 
 that I might behold his glory : I felt fweetly difpo- 
 fed to commit all to him, even my dearefl friends, 
 my deareft flock, and my abfent brother, and all 
 my concerns for time and eternity. Oh, that his 
 kingdom might come into the world ; that they 
 might all love and glorify him ; and that the 
 blefTed Redetmer might '* fee of the travail of 
 his foul » and be fatisfied ! Oh come, Lordjefus, 
 come quickly I Amen."+ 
 
 The next evening we expefted his brother 
 John from New-Jerley ; ii being about a week 
 after the time that he propofed for his return. 
 And though our expectations were flilLdilappoint- 
 ed ; yet Mr. Brainerd feemed to continue unmov- 
 ed, in the fame calm frame, that he had before 
 manifefted ; as having refigncd all to God, and 
 having done with his friends, and with all things 
 here below. 
 
 On the morning of the Lord's day, Oftober 4, 
 as my daughter Jeruflia who chiefly tended him) 
 came into the room, he looked on her very 
 pleafantly, and faid, " X^tdiC Jerufha, are you 
 willing to part with me ? — I am quite willing to 
 part with you; I am willing to part with all my 
 friends; 1 am.,willing to part with my dear bro- 
 ther John, although 1 love him the befl of any 
 creature living ; 1 have committed him and all 
 my friends to God, and can leave them with God, 
 Though, if I thought 1 fhould not fee you, and 
 be happy with you in another world 1 could not 
 bear to part with you. But wTi fhall fpend aft 
 happy eternity together !"* In the evening, as 
 one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, 
 he faid, '* Oh, that dear book ! that lovely book I 
 I fliall foon fee it opened ! the myfleries that are 
 
 + Here ends his diary : thefe are '.he lad words, that are 
 written in it, either by bis own hand, or from hismouih. 
 
 * Since this, it haspleafed God to take away this nrry dear 
 child by deeth, on the 14th of l^ebruary following, after a 
 fhort illnefs of five days, u; the eighteenth year of her age. 
 She was a perfon of much the lame fpirit with Mr. Braiuerd. 
 
 io 
 
C 248 T 
 
 in it, and the my fleries of God's providence, will 
 be all unfolded !" 
 
 His dillemper now apparently preyed on his 
 vitals : not by a fudden breaking of ulcers in his 
 lungs, as at Bofton, but by a conftant difcharge 
 of putulent matter, in great (Quantities ; fo that 
 what he brought up by expeftoration, feemed to 
 be as it were mouth fuls of almoft clear ^«.j ; which 
 was attended with very great inward pain and 
 diftrefs. 
 
 06lober 9, he lay for a confiderable time, as if 
 he was dying.. At which time, he was heard to 
 utter in broken whifpers, fuch expreffions as 
 ihefe ;. " He will come, he will not tarry. — I 
 fhall foon be in glory. — I fhall loon glorify God 
 with the angels.** But afterfome time he revived. 
 
 The next day,, his brother John arrived from 
 Nevv-Jerfey, where he had been detained much 
 longer than he intended,, by a mortal hcknefs. 
 prevailing among the Chiittian Indians. Mr. 
 Brainerd was refrefned with feeing him, and. 
 appeared fully fatisfied with the realons of his-, 
 delay ; feeing, the intercfl of religion and of the. 
 fouls of his people required it. 
 
 She had conftantly. taken care of, and attended him in hi3> 
 ficknefs, for nineteen weeks before his death , devoting her- 
 felf to it with great delight, becaufe fhe looked on him as an 
 eminent fervantof Jefus Chrift. In this time, he had much> 
 converfation with heron things of religion; and in his dying 
 flate, often exprelled to us, herparents, his great fatisfafti on , 
 concerning her true pieiy, and his confidence that he (hould, 
 meet her in heaven : and his high opinion of her, not only as • 
 a true chriftian, but a very eminent faint; one whofe foul, 
 was uncommonly fed and entertained with things that apper- 
 tain to the moft fpiritual parts of religion ; and one who, by 
 the temper of her mind, was fitteft to deny herfclEfor God, 
 and to do good beyond any young woma 1 that he knew of. 
 She had manifefled a heart uncomuioniy devoted to God, ia =' 
 thecourfeof her life, many years before her death i and faid ^ 
 on her death-bed, that *' (he had not fee n one minute for 
 feveral years, wherein (he defined to live one minute longer^ 
 for the fake of any other good in life, but doing good, living- 
 to God, and doing. what might be for his glory.'* 
 
 Thurfday, 
 
f 249 J 
 
 ThinTday, Oft, 8. He told me it was impof- 
 fible For any one to conceive the diflrefs he felt 
 in his bread. He manifefled much concern left 
 he fhould difhonour God by impatience. He 
 defired that others would be much in lifting up 
 their hearts to God for him. He fignificd, that 
 he expe6led to die that night ; but fcemed to fear 
 a longer delay : and the difpohtion of his mind 
 with regard to death appeared {till the fame that 
 it had been all along. And notwithflanding his 
 bodily agonies, yet the intered of Zion lay flill 
 with great weitrht on his mind; as appeared by 
 ibme conhderable difcourfe he had that evening 
 with Mr. Billing, one of the neighbouring rainif- 
 ters, concerning the great importance of the work 
 of the miniflry. Afterwards, when it was very 
 late in the night 5 he had much difcourfe with his 
 brother John, concerning his congregation in 
 New-Jerfey, and the mterell of religion among 
 the Indians. In the latter part of the night, his 
 bodily didreues feemed to rife to a greater height 
 than ever ; and he faid to thofe then about him, 
 that *' it was another thing to die than what peo* 
 pie imagined ;" explaining himlelf to mean, that 
 they were not aware what bodily pain and anguifh 
 is undergone before death. Towards day, his 
 eyes were fixed ; and he continued lying immove- 
 able, 'lill about fix o'clock in the morning, and 
 tlien expired, on Friday, October 6, 1747. when 
 his foul was received by his dear Lord and MaPter, 
 as an eminently fai'hful fervant, into a (1 ale of 
 perfcftion, of holinefs, and fruition of God, 
 which he had fo often and fo ardently longed for. 
 
 Much refped was fhewn to hib memory at his 
 funeral \ which was on the Monday following, 
 after a fermon preached the fame day, on that oc« 
 cafion. His funeral was attended by eight of 
 the neighbouring minillers, feventeen other gen- 
 tlemen of liberal education, and a great concourfe 
 of people. J 
 
 LETTERS 
 
[ 250 ] 
 
 LETTERS 
 
 WRITTEM BY 
 
 Mr. B R A I N E R D. 
 
 To his Brother John, then a Student at Yale- 
 College in New-Haven. 
 
 Kaunanmeekf April ^o^ i743» 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 I Should tell you, ** I long to fee you," but that 
 my own experience has taught me, there is no 
 happine(s to be enjoyed in earthly friends, though 
 ever fo near and dear, or any other enjoyment 
 that is not God himfelf. Therefore, if the God 
 ef all grace would be pleafed gracioufly to afford 
 us each his prcfence and grace, that we may per- 
 form the work, and endure the trials he calls us 
 to, in a tirelome wildernefs, 'till we arrive at our 
 journey's end; the dillance at which we are 
 held from each other at prefent, is a matter of no 
 great moment. But, alas! the prcfence of God 
 is what I want. I live in the mofl lonely melan- 
 choly defert, about eighteen miles from Albany, 
 I board with a poor Scotchman ; his wife can 
 talk fcarce any Englifh. My aiet confifts moftly 
 of hafly-pudding, boiled corn, and bread baked in 
 the afhes. My lodging is a little heap of ftraw, 
 laid upon fome boards, a little way from the 
 ground ; for it is a log-room, without any floor, 
 that I lodge in. My work is exceeding hard: I 
 
 travel 
 
L 25> ] 
 
 travel on foot a mile and half, the worfl: of way, 
 almoft daily, and back again ; for I live fo far 
 from my Indians. I have nol feen an Englifh 
 perfon this moath. Thcfe and many other cir- 
 currftances, as uncomfortable, attend me ; and 
 yet my fpirituaf. conjlitis and diflrejfcs fo far exceed 
 all thefe, that I fcarce think of them. The Lord 
 grant that I may be enabled to *• endure hardnefs, 
 as a good foldier of Jefus Chrift !" As to my 
 fuccefs here, 1 cannot fay much : the Indians 
 feem generally well difpofcd towards me, and are 
 moftly very attentive to my inJlruEiions ; two or 
 three are under fome cdnvtBions ; but there feems 
 to be little of the fpecial wornings of the divine 
 Spirit among them yet; which gives me many a 
 heart-finking hour. Sometimes I hope, God has 
 abundant bleffings in ftore for them and mc ; but 
 at other times I am fo overwhelmed with diflrefs, 
 that I cannot fee how his dealings with me are 
 confident with covenant love and faithfulnels, 
 and 1 fay, ** Surely his tender mercies are clean 
 gone for ever." But however, I fee, I needed all 
 this chajiifement already ; " It is good for me," 
 tha^t I have endured thefe trials. Do not be dif- 
 couraged by my diftreifes: I was under great 
 diilrefs, at Mr. Pomroys, when I faw you lall ; 
 but *' God has been with me of a truth," fince 
 that. But let us always remember, that wc mult 
 through much tribulation enter into God's eternal 
 kingdom. The righteous areycflrc^/y faved : It is 
 an infinite wonder, that we have hopes of being 
 faved at all. For my part, I feel the moll vile of 
 any creature living and I am fure, there is not 
 fuch another exifiing on this fide hell. Now all 
 you can do for mc, is, to pr^y inccifantly, that 
 God would make me humble, holy, rchgned, 
 and heavenly minded, by all my trials. ** Be 
 llrong in the Lord, and in the power of his might." 
 Let us run, loreflle, andjf^/^i, that we may obtain 
 the prize , and obtain that compleat happinefs, to 
 be ** holy, as God is holy," So wilhing and 
 
 praying 
 
[ 252 T 
 
 praying that you may advance in learning and 
 grace, and be fit for fpecial fervice for God, 
 
 I remain. Your afFeftionate Brother, 
 
 David Bra,ikerd. 
 
 To his brother John, at Yale-College in New- 
 Haven. 
 
 Dear Brother, Kaunaumeek, Dec. 27, 1743. 
 
 I Long to fee you, and know how you fare in 
 your journey through the world of forrow, 
 where we are compafl'ed about with " vanity, 
 confufion, and vexation of fpirit." I am more 
 %veary of life than ever I was. The whole world 
 appears to me like a valt empty fpace, whence 
 nothing defirable, or at leafl latisfatlor)', can 
 polTibly be derived, and 1 long, daily to die more 
 and more to it ; even though 1 obtained not that 
 comfort from fpiritual things which I earnefliy 
 defire. Worldly plcafures, fuch as flow from 
 greatnefs, riches, honours, and fenfual gratifica- 
 tions, are* infinitely icorfc than none. May the 
 Lord deliver us more and more from thefe vanities ! 
 1 have fpent inofl of the fall and winter in a very 
 weak flate of body ; and fometimes under pref- 
 fing -inward trials, but " having obtained heljp 
 from God, I continue to this ^ay :" and am noW 
 fomething better in health. I find nothing more 
 conducive to a life of Chnjiianiiy, than a diligent 
 and faithful improvement of precious time. Let 
 us then faithfully perform that bufinefs, whicli is 
 allotted us by divine ^^rovidence, to the utmoft of 
 our bodily flrength and mental vigour. Why 
 fhould we fink with ar>y particular trials, and per- 
 plexities, we are calleTd to encounter in the world ? 
 JJeath <iud eternity aie. juii before us ; a few toll- 
 ing billows more will waft us to the world of 
 fpirits, and w6 hope (through infinite grace) into 
 endlefs pleafufes. Let us then " run with 
 
 patience 
 
C »53 ] 
 
 patience th^ race that is fct before us." And Oh 
 that we could depend more upon the liuing God^ 
 and lefs upon our own wifdom and flrength! — 
 Dear brother, may the God of all grace comfort 
 your heart, and fucceed your ftudles, and make 
 you an inftrument of good to bis people. This i$ 
 the conllant prayer of 
 
 Your afFeftionate Brother, 
 
 David Brainerd. 
 
 To his Brother Ifracl, at lladdam. 
 
 My dear brother, Kaunaumeck, J^an, 21 ^ 1743-4^ 
 
 —J — T^HERE is but one. thing, that deferves 
 JL our highcft care ; and that is, that vye 
 may anfvver the great end, for which we were 
 made, viz, io glorify that God, who has given us 
 our beings and all our comforts, and do all the 
 good we polfibly can to our fellow creatures, while 
 we live in the world : and verily life is not worth 
 the having, if it be not employed for t}>i5 noble 
 end. Yet, alas, how little is this thought of [ 
 Mod merl love to live to them/elveSf without 
 regard to the glory of God, or the good of their 
 fellow creatures : they earneiUy defire, and eager- 
 ly purfue the riches, honours, and pleafures of 
 life, as if they really fuppofed that wealth, or 
 greatnefs, or merriment, could make their immor- 
 tal fpuls happy. But, alas, what falfe and delii- 
 five dreams are thefc ! And how miferable will 
 thefe ere long be, who are not awaked out of 
 them, to fee, that all their happinels confifls in 
 living to Ood, and becoming *• holy, as he is 
 holy !" Oh, may you never fall into the tempers 
 and vanities, the feniuality and folly of the pre- 
 fent world ! You are left, as It were, alone in a 
 wide world, to a£l for yourfelf ; be Cuve then to 
 remember, it is a world of temptation. You have 
 no earthly parents to form your^outh to piety. 
 
r 254 3 
 
 by tlielr examples and feafonable counfels ; let 
 this exckc you with great diligence and fervency 
 to look up to the Father of mercies for grace and 
 afTiftance againfl nil the vanities of the world. 
 And if you would glorify God, anfvver his jufl 
 expeflations from you, and make your own foul 
 happy in this and the coming world, obferve 
 thefe few direclions ', though not from a father, 
 yet from a brother who is touched with a tender 
 concern for your prefent and future happinefs. 
 And, 
 
 Firft, Refolve upon, and daily endeavour to 
 praftife a life of ferioufne/s. Think of the life of 
 Chrifh ; and when you can find that he was 
 pleafed with jelling, then you may indulge itrin 
 yourfelf. 
 
 Again, Be careful to make a good improvement 
 of precious time. When you ceafs from labour, 
 fill up your time in reading, meditation, and 
 prayer; and while your hands are laboui'ing, let 
 your heart be employed, as much as polTibie, in 
 divine thoughts. Further, Take heed that you 
 faithfully perform the bufinefs you have to do in 
 the world, from a regard to the commands of God, 
 \Ve Ihould always look upon ourfelves as God's 
 fervanfs, placed in God's world to do his work ; 
 and accordingly labour faithfully for him ; not 
 with a defign to grow rich and great, but to glo- 
 rify God, and do all the good we poffibly can. 
 
 Again, Never expe£l happincfs from the world. 
 If you hope for happinefs in the world, hope for 
 it from God, and not from the world. Do not 
 think you (hall be more happy, if you live tofuch 
 or fuch a date of life, if you live to be for your- 
 felf, to be fettled in the world, or if you fhould 
 gain an eflate in it: but look upon it that you 
 Ihall thea be happy, when you can be conllantly 
 employed for God, and not for yourfelf; and 
 defire to live n the world, only to do and fuffef 
 what Go i alluis to you. When you can be of 
 the rpirii . nd temper of angels, who are willing 
 to Ci me own into this lower world, to perforrA 
 \vhal Gjq commands them, though their defires 
 
 arc 
 
C ^55 ] 
 
 Sire hidvenfyy and not in the leaft fet'on earihfy 
 tilings, then you will be of that temper that you 
 ©ught to have. ^|^ 
 
 Once more, Never think that you can live to 
 God by jy our own ftrength ; but always look to, 
 and rely on him for afFiflance, yea, for all 
 itrength and grace. There is no greater truth 
 than this, that " we can do nothing of ourfelves ;*' 
 yet nothing but our own experience can eflFeclually 
 teach it to us. Indeed we are a long time in, 
 learning, that all our flrenglh and falvation is in 
 God, This is a life, that no unconverted man can 
 live ; yet it is a life that every godly foul is prcf- 
 fing after. Let it then be your great concern to 
 devote yourfelf and your all to God. 
 
 I long to fee you, that I may lay much more to 
 you than I now can, but I defire to commit you 
 to the Father oj mercies, and God of all gract\ pray-i 
 ing that you may be direfted fafely through aa 
 tvil uiorld^ to God's heavenly kingdom. 
 
 1 am your afteftionate loving brother, 
 
 David Brainerd* 
 
 To a fpecial Friend. 
 
 Forks of Delaware, jfuly^x, 1744« 
 
 •*— /^ Ertainly the greateft, the nobleft plea- 
 V^ fure of intelligent creatures muft refult 
 from their acquaintance with the blelfed God, 
 and with their own immortal fouls. And Oh, 
 how divinely fweet is it, to look into our own 
 fouls, when we can find all our paflions united 
 and engaged in purfuit after God, our whole 
 fouls paflionately breathing alter a conformity to 
 him, and the full enjoyment of him ! Verily 
 there »c no hours pafs away with fo much plea- 
 fure, as tht)fe that are fpent in communing with 
 God and our own hearts. Oh, how fweet is a 
 fpirit of devotion, a fpirit of ferioufnefs and 
 divine folemnity, a fpirit of gofpel fimplicity, 
 love, tendernefsj Oh, how defirable, and how\ 
 X 2 profitable 
 
profitable to the Chriftian life, is a Tpirlt of hoty 
 watch fjlnefs, and godly ji^aloufy over ourfelves j 
 wbrn we are afraid of nothing fo much as that wo 
 fhall grieve and offend the blelfed God, whom w« 
 apprehend, to be < father and a friend ; whom we 
 then love and long to pleafe ! Surely this is a 
 temper, worthy of the highefk ambition and 
 clofeft purfuit of intelligent creatures. Oh, how 
 vallly (upeiior is the peace, ar)d fatisfaftion deri- 
 ved from thefe divine frames, to that which wa 
 fomeiimes puilue in things impertinent and trifl- 
 ing ! our own bitter experience teaches us, " that 
 in the midd of fuch laughfrr the heart is forrow- 
 fi;l," and there is no true fjt'sfaflion but in God. 
 But, abs! how fhall we obtain and retain thi* 
 fweet fpirit of religion ? Let us follow the 
 Apoflle's direclion, Phil. ii. 12, .and labour upon 
 the encouragement he there mentions, for it is 
 God only can afford us this favour ; and he will 
 hejbitgkt, and it is fit we Should wait upon him 
 for fo 1 ich a mercy. Oh, may the God of all 
 grace afford us the influences of his Spirit ; and 
 help us that we may from our hearts, eftccm it 
 our greatefl liberty and happinefs, that " whether 
 we live, we may live to the Lord, or whether we 
 die, we may die to the Lord ;'* that in life and 
 death, we may be his ! 
 
 I am in a very poor flate of health : but through 
 divine goodnefs. I am not difcontcnted : I blefi 
 God for this retirement I 1 never was more thank* 
 ful for any thing, than I have been of late for the 
 necenfity I am under of felf-denial : I love to be 
 a pilgrim and flranger in this wildernefs ; it 
 feemsmoflfit for fuch a poor, ignorant, worthlefs 
 creature as L I would not change my prefent 
 mifTion for any other bufinefs in the whole world, 
 I may tell you freely, God has of late given me 
 great freedom and fervency in prayer when I have 
 been fo weak and feeble, my nature feemed as if 
 it would fpeedily diffolve. I feel as if my all was 
 Jofl, and I was undone, if the poor Heathen be 
 not converted. I feel d^erent from what I did 
 when I faw you lall, more crucified to all the en 
 
 joy meat 
 
f «57 1 
 
 Uvments of life* It would be very refrefhing to 
 me to fee you here in this dcfert ; efpecially m 
 my weak difconfolate hours; but, 1 could be 
 content never to fee you, or any of my f riendi 
 «feain in this world, if God would blefs my labours 
 to the converfion of the poor Indians. 
 
 'I have much that I could willingly communi- 
 cate to you, which I muft omit, till providence 
 •gives us leave to fee each other. In the meaa 
 
 time, I reft 
 
 Your obliged friend and fervant, 
 
 David Brainerp. 
 
 <^ 
 
 To his Brother John, -at College. 
 
 Crofweekfung, in New-Jerfey, Dec. 28, 1745, 
 Very Dear brother, 
 
 . TAm in one continued and uninterrupted 
 X hurry ', and divine providence throws fo 
 much upon me, that I do not fee it will ever be 
 otherwife. May I *' obtain mercy of God to be 
 faithful to the death !" I cannot fay, I am weary 
 of my hurry ; I only want ft-rength and grace to 
 do more for God. 
 
 My dear brother. The Lord of heaven, that has 
 
 carried me through many trials, i>lefs yow, blefs 
 
 »you for time and elernity ; and fit you to do fer- 
 
 vice for him in his church below, and to enjoy 
 
 his blifsful prefence in his churc'h triumphant. 
 
 My brother: " the time is (hort :'* Oh let ns 
 
 fill it up for God ; let us " count the fufferings 
 
 of this prefent time" as nothing, if we can but 
 
 ** finilli our couife with joy.'" Oh, let us ftrivc 
 
 to live to God. I blefs the Lord, I have nothing 
 
 to do with earthf but only to labour h'oneitly in 'it 
 
 for God, till I (hall »• acccmplifh as an hir^liftg 
 
 my day," J do not defire to live one miniueflr 
 
 ♦^ 3 any 
 
moment 
 
 I 258 1 
 
 «Tiy thing that earth can afford. Oh, that I 
 could live for none but God, till my dying 
 
 mnrr»*»nt- I 
 
 I am your affeftionate brother, - 
 
 David BRAiNEa»» 
 
 To his Brother Ifrael, at College, written a few 
 months before his deaths 
 
 My dear brother, Bojton, June 30, i747» 
 
 IT is from the fides of ^/^rwzV^ I now addrefsyou* 
 I am heartily foiry, that I have fo little 
 ilrength to write what I long to communicate to 
 you. But let mc tell you, my brother, eternity is 
 another thing than we ordinarily take it to be. 
 Oh, how vail and boundlefs! Oh, how fixed 
 and unalterable ! Oh, of what infinite impor- 
 tance is it, that we be prepared for eternity / I 
 have been juft dying for more than a week ; and 
 all around me have thought fo. But in this time 
 I have had clear views oi eternity : have feen the 
 bleffednefs of the godly ; and have longed to fhare 
 their hapj>y flaie ; as well as been comfortably 
 fatisfied, that I (hall do fo ; but Oh, whatanguifh 
 is raifed in my mind, to think of an eternity for 
 thofe who are Chrijllefs, for thofe who brin^ 
 their falfe hop^^s to the grave with them! The 
 fight wasfo dreadful, I could by noineans bear it: 
 my thoughts recoiled, and I faid, " Who caa 
 dwell with evei lading burnings T' Oh, methought,. 
 that I could now fee my friends, that I might 
 warn them, to fee to it, that they lay their 
 foundation for eternity fure. And you rry dear 
 brother, 1 have been particularly concerned for : 
 and have wondered I fo much neglefted converf- 
 ing with you about your Ipiritual ftate at our lalt 
 »eeting. Oh, let me befcech you now to examine, 
 ^whether you arc indeed a new creature ? Whetlier 
 tht glory of Cod has ever been thehighefl concern 
 « witk 
 
[ *59 3 
 
 with you ? whether you have ever been reconcrl- 
 cd to all the perfeftions of God? In a word, 
 •whether God has been your portion, and a holy 
 conformity to him your chief delight ? If you 
 have reafon to think you are gracelefs, Oh give 
 yourfelf and the throne of grace no reft, till God 
 arife and fave. But if the cafe ihould be other- 
 wife, blefs God for his grace, and prcls after 
 holinefs. 
 
 Oh, my dear brother, flee flefhly lujis^ and the 
 inchanting amuftmtnis^ as we\l as corrupt ifo<fZri/2fi 
 ©f the prcfent day ; and ftrive to live to God^ 
 Take this as the lafi line from 
 
 Your aife6iionate dying brother, 
 
 Davic Brainbrus^ 
 
 To a young Gentleman, a Candidate for the Mini/" 
 try written at the fame time. 
 
 Very Dear Sir, 
 
 HOW amazing it is, that the living who know 
 theymuji die, fhould notwithilanding " put 
 far away the evil day," in a fcafon of health and 
 profperity : and live at fuch an awful diilance 
 from the grave, and the great concerns beyond it ! 
 And efpecially, that any whofe minds have been 
 divinely enlightened, to behold the important 
 things of eternity^ fhould live in this manner. 
 And yet, Sir, how frequently is this the cafe ? 
 How rare are the inftances of thcfe who live and 
 aft, from day to day, as on the verge of eternity ; 
 flriving to fill up all their remaining moments, in 
 the fervice, and to the honour of their great 
 Mafler ? We infenfibly trifle away time, while 
 we feem to have enough of it ; and are fo ftrange- 
 ly amufed, as in a great meafure to lofe a fenfe of 
 the holinefs. neceffary to prepare us to be inha- 
 bitants of the heavenly /^^zra^//^. But, Oh, dear 
 Sir, a dying bed, if we enjoy our reafon will give 
 another view of things, 1 have now, for more 
 
 .5than 
 
r »6o ] 
 
 ilian three weeks, lain under the greateft weak* 
 Tiefs ; the greater part of the time, expefting 
 daily and hourly to enter imo the eternal world : 
 fometimes I have been fo far gone, as to be 
 fpeechlefs for fome hours together. And Oh, of 
 what vaft importance has a holy fpiritual life 
 appeared to me to be in this feafon • I have long- 
 €d to call upon all my friends, to make it their 
 bufincfs to live to God: and efpecially all that ar« 
 defigned for, or engaged in the fervice of the 
 fanftuary. O dear Sir, do not think it enough, 
 to live at the rate of common Chrijlians, Alas, td 
 how little purpofe do they often converfe; when 
 they meet together ! The vifits, even of thofa 
 *who are called Chriflians indeed, are frequently 
 quite barren ; and confcience cannot but condemn 
 us for the mifemployment of time, while we 
 liave been converfant with them. &ut the way 
 to enjoy the divine prefence, and be fitted for his 
 fervice, is to live a life of great devotion and 
 conftantf elf dedication to him; obferving the mo- 
 tions and difpofitions of our own hearts, whence 
 we may iearn the corruptions that lodge there, 
 and our conflant need of help from God for the 
 performance of the lead duty. And Oh, dear 
 Sir, let me befeech you frequently to attend the 
 great and precious* duties oi fecrtt fajling and 
 prayer, 
 
 I have a fecret thought from foTne things 1 
 have obfsrved, that God may perhaps defign you 
 for fome fmgular fervice in the world. Oh then 
 labour to be prepared and qualified to do much 
 for God. Sufter me to intreat you edrnellly to 
 ** give yourfelf to prayer, to reading and medita- 
 tion'* on divine truths : flrive to penetrate to the 
 bottom pf them, and never be content with a 
 fuperficial knowledge. By this means, your 
 thoughis will grow weighty and! Judicious ; and 
 you thereby will be polfefied of a valuable irea- 
 fure, out of which you m.iy produce " things new 
 and old," to the glory of God, 
 
 And noWj <' 1 commend you £0 the grace of 
 
 God;" 
 
God;** earneftly defiring, that a plentiful portion 
 of the divine Spirit may reft upon you ; that you 
 may live to God in every capacity, and do abundant 
 for him in public, if it be his will ; and that you 
 may be richly qualified for the *' inheritance of 
 the faints in light,'* 
 
 I fcarce expc6l to fee your face any more in the 
 body ; and therefore intreat you to accept this at 
 the laft token of love, from 
 
 Your finccrely affeftionate dying fiiend, 
 
 David Brainerd. 
 
 To his brother John, at Bethel, the Town ofChrif- 
 tian Indians in New-Jerfey, written at Bofton, 
 before his death. 
 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 I AM now juft on the verge of etermiy,. expect- 
 ing very fpeedily to appear in the unfcen 
 world, I feel myfelf no more an inhabitant on 
 earth and fometimes earneflly long to <* depart 
 and be with Chrift,'* I blefs God, he has for 
 fomc years given mean abiding conviction, that it 
 is impoffible for any rational creature to enjoy 
 true happinefs without being entirely " devoted 
 to hrm.'* Under the influence of this convitlion 
 I have in fome meafure afted : Oh that I had 
 done more fo ! I faw both the excellency and 
 neceffity of holinefs ; but never in fuch a manner 
 as now, when I am juft brought to the fides of the 
 grave. Oh, my brother, purfue after holinefs: 
 prefs towards the bleffed mark ; and let your 
 thirfty foul continually fay, *' I Iball never be 
 fatisfied till I awake in thy likenefs," 
 
 And now, my dear brother, as I muft prefs 
 you to purfue after perfotial holinefs, to be aa 
 much in/^en^and^roycr as your health will allow, 
 and to live above the rate of common Chrijlians : 
 Ui I muft intreat you to attcad to your public 
 
 wprk 5 
 
I 2.6* J 
 
 W.ork ; labour to diftinguifh between true and\ 
 falfe religion; and to that end, watch the motions 
 of God's Spirit upon your own heart ; look to 
 him for help, and impartially compare your ex- 
 periences with his word. 
 
 Charge my people in the name of their djying 
 tninijler, yea, in ihe namQ of him who was dead and 
 is alive, to live and walk as becomes the gofpel. 
 Tell them, how great the expectations of God and. 
 his people are from them, and how awfully they 
 will wound God's caufe, if they fall into vice : 
 as well as fatally prejudice other poor Indians, 
 Always infill, ihtti their joys tiro, ddufive. although 
 they may have been rapt up into the third heavens, 
 unlefs the main tenour of their lives be fpiritual, 
 "watchful and holy, in prelTing thefe things, 
 <« thou {halt both fave thyfelf and thofe that hear 
 thee."— 
 
 God knows, I was heartily willing to hav« 
 ferved him longer in the work of the miniftry, 
 although it had ilill been attended with all the la* 
 hours and hardfiips of paft years, if he had feea 
 fit that it (hculd be fo : but as his will no<v 
 appears otherwifc, 1 am fully content, and can 
 \vith the utmofl freedom fay, " The will of tho 
 Lord be done.** It affefts me, to think of leav- 
 ing you in a world of ftn : my heart pities you, 
 that thofe ftorms and tempeils are yet before you, 
 which through grace I am almoll delivered from 
 But «« God lives, and bleflfed be my Rock :*' he 
 18 the fame Almighty friend ; and will, I tnifl, 
 be your guide and helper, as he has been mine» 
 
 And now, my dear brother, «» I commend yon 
 to God and to the word of his grace, which is 
 able to build you up, and give you an inheritance 
 among all them that are fanfiified,'* May you 
 enjoy the divine prefcnce, both in private and 
 public ; and may <« the arms of your hands be 
 made ftrong, by the right hand of the mighty 
 God of Jacob!'* Which are the paffionata 
 ^fires and prayers of 
 
 Your affe^ionate dying brother, 
 
 David Bkaineius' 
 SOM£. 
 
SOME 
 
 Refleftions and Obfervatloha 
 
 ON T H . 1 
 
 Preceding Memoirs of Mr. BRAINERD. 
 
 I, T X 7^^ have here an opportunity, in a very 
 V V lively injiance, to lee the nature of true 
 religion ; and the manner of its operation when 
 •exemplified in a high degree and powerful exer- 
 cife. Particularly it may be obferved, 
 
 1. How greatly Mr. Brainerd's religion differ- 
 -ed frotn that of fome pretenders to faving conver- 
 Jton ; >vho depending on that, fettle in a cold, 
 -carelefs, and .carnal frame of mind, and in a 
 negle£l of the thorough earnefl religion. Although 
 his convictions and converfion were in all refpedts 
 exceeding clear, yet how far was he from a6Un|r 
 as though he thought he had got through his zvorky 
 when once he had obtained comfort and fatisfac- 
 tion of his interefl in Chrifl ? On the contrary, 
 that work on his heart, by which he was brought 
 to this, was with him but the beginning of his 
 work, his firil entering on the great bufinefs of 
 religion, his firfl fetting out in his race. His 
 -obtaining rell in Chrifl, after eatnefl ftriving to 
 enter in at the flrait gate, he did not look upon 
 as putting an end to any further occahon for 
 driving and violence in religion : but thefe were 
 continued, and maintained conilanily, through 
 
 all 
 
L *«4 3 
 
 all changes to the very end of life. He continued 
 prefTing iorwdrd, forgetting the things that were 
 i)ehind, and reaching forth towards the thing that 
 "were before. His pains and earneftnefs in religion 
 were rather increafed than diminifhed, after he 
 had received fatisfatlion concerning the fafety of 
 his ftare. Thofe divine principles, love to God, 
 and longings after holinefs, was more efFettual to 
 engage him to pains and activity in religion, thaa 
 the fear of hell had been before. 
 
 And as his converlion was not the end of his 
 work, or of his diligence and ftrivings in religion j 
 fo neither was it the end of the xaork of the Spirit 
 pf God on his heart : but on the contrary, the 
 beginning of that work ; the firfl dawning of the 
 light, which thenceforward increafed more and 
 more; the beginning of his holy affedlions, his 
 forrow lor fin, his love to God, his rejoicing in 
 "Chrift, his longings after holinefs. And the 
 powerful operations of the Spirit of Cod herein, 
 "Were carried on, from the day of his converfion, 
 to his dying day. His religious experiences, his 
 ■admiration, joy, and praife, did not only hold 
 for a few days, "weeks, or months, whil-e hope 
 and comfort were new things with hira : and 
 then gradually die away, till they came to leave 
 him without any fenfible experience or holy and 
 divine affeftions, for months together; as it is 
 "with many, who after the newnefs of things 18 
 over, foon come to that pafs, that it is again 
 ■with them much as it is ufed to be before their 
 fuppofed converfion, with refpcdl to any prefent 
 views of God's glory, or ardent out-goings of 
 iheir fouls after divine objefts ; but only now and 
 then they have a comfortable reflcflion on times 
 part; and fo reft eafy, thinking all well; they 
 nave had a good clear work, and they doubt not 
 but they (hall go to heaven when they die. How 
 far other wife was it with Mr. Brainerd, than it 
 is with fuch perfons I Hh experiences, inftead 
 of dying away, v\ ere evidently of an incre*(ing 
 nature. His firft love, and other holy affedions, 
 even at the beginning were very great.; but after 
 
 month 
 
r 26s ] 
 
 months and years, became much greater, and 
 more remarkable ; and the fpiritual exercifes of 
 his mind conlinued exceeding great, (though not 
 equally fo at all times) without remilfnefs, and 
 without dwindling and dying away, even till his 
 deceafe. They began in a time of general dead- 
 nefs, and were greatly increafed in a time of 
 general reviving of religion. And when religion 
 decayed again, and a general dcadnefs returned, 
 l^is experiences were flill kept up in their height, 
 and fo continued to be, in a general courfe whcre- 
 ever he was, in ficknefs and in health, living and 
 dying. The change that was wrought in him at 
 his converfion, was agreeable to fcripture repre- 
 fentations, a great change, and an abiding change, 
 rendering him a new man, a new creature : not 
 only a change as to hope and comfort ; and at 
 tranfient change, confifling in paffing affcftions j 
 but a change of naturt^ a change of the abiding 
 liabit and temper of his mind. Not a partial 
 change, merely in point of opinion, or outward 
 reformation, much lefs a change from one error 
 to another, or from one fin to another ; but an 
 univerfal change, both internal, and external, 
 from the habits and ways of fin, to univerfal holi- 
 nefs. 
 
 It appears plainly, from his converfion to his 
 death, that the great objeft of the new fenfe of 
 his mind, and new appetites given him in his con- 
 verfion, and thenceforward maintain and increaf- 
 ed in his heart, was holiness, conformity to God^ 
 living to God, and glorifying him. This was 
 what drew his heart; this was the centre of his 
 foul ; this was the ocean to which all the flreams 
 of his religious affeftions tended : this was the 
 objeft that engaged his eager defires and earneft 
 purfuits: he knew no true excellency or happi- 
 nefs, but this : this was what he longed for moft 
 vehemently and conllantly on cartli. ; and this 
 was with him the beauty and blelTednefs of heaven, 
 to be perfectly holy, and perfeftly exercLfed in 
 the holy employments of heaven ; to glorify God, 
 •nd enjoy him for ever. 
 
 Y Hi: 
 
r .66 : 
 
 His religious afFeftions were attended with 
 evmigdical humiliation ; con filling in a fenfe of his 
 o»vn infufficiency, defpicablenefs, and odioufnefs. 
 How deeply afFcfted was he almofl continually 
 with his great defedls in religion ; with his vaft 
 diftance from that fpirituality that became/ him ; 
 with his ignorance, pride, deadnefs, unfteadincfs, 
 barrennefs? He was not only afFe£led with the 
 rememberance of his former finfulnefs, but with 
 the fenfe of his prefent vilenefs and pollution. 
 He was not only difpofed to think meanly of him- 
 felf as before God, and in com pari fon of him ; but 
 amongfl men, and compared with them. He was 
 apt to think other faints better than he ; yea, to 
 look upon himfelf as the meaneft and leaft of 
 faints ; yea, very often as the vileft and worft of 
 mankind. And notwithllanding his great attain- 
 ments in fpiritual knowledge, yet we find there 
 is fcarce any thing he is more frecjuently abafed 
 with, than his ignorance. 
 
 How eminently did he appear to be of a meek 
 and quiet fpirit, refembling the lamb-like, dove- 
 like Spirit of Chrift ! how full of love, meeknefs, 
 quietnefsj forgivenefs, and mercy ! Hislovewas 
 not merely fondnefs for a party, but an univerfal 
 benevolence; often exercifed in the moft fenfibic 
 and ardent love to his greateft oppofers and 
 enemies. His love and meeknefs were not out- 
 ward paffion and fhevv ; but they were effeftual 
 things, manifeft in expenfive and painful deeds 
 of love and kindnefs; readily confeffing faults 
 under tht greateft trials, and humbling himfelf 
 even at the feet of thofe from whom he had fuffer- 
 ed moft : and from time to time praying for his 
 enemies, abhorring the thoughts of bitternefs and • 
 refentment towards them. I fcarce know were 
 to look for a parallel inftance of felf-denial, in 
 thefe refpeds, in the prefent age. He was a per-, 
 fon of great zeal ; but how did he abhor a bitter 
 zeal, and lament it where he law it ! and though 
 he was once drawn into fome degrees of it, by the 
 force of example ; yet how did he go about with 
 a heart bruifed and broken in pieces for it all his 
 life after ! 
 
 Of 
 
r 267 ] 
 
 Of how [oft and tender a fpirit was he ! How 
 fai were his experiences, hopes, and joys, fiom 
 having a tendency to leiTen corivi6lion and Icn- 
 .dernefsof confciencc, to caufc him to be lels A\(it\.- 
 ed with prefent and pad fins, and Icis conftien- 
 tiouswiih refped to future fins, more eafy in the 
 negletH: of duties that are troublcfome and incon- 
 venient, lefs apt to be alarmed at his own defeats 
 and tranfgreffions, more cafdy induced to a com- 
 pliance witli carnal appetites ! On the contrary, 
 how tender was his confcience ! how greatly 
 was he alarmed at the appearance of evil ! hcnv 
 great and conllant was his jealoufy over his own 
 heart ! how ftri6l his care and watchfulnds 
 againfl fin ! how deep and ftjnfible were iha 
 wounds that fin made in his confcience ! thoftt 
 evils that are generally accounted fmall, were al- 
 moft an infupportable burden to him ; luch as his 
 inv/ard deficiences, his having no more love ta 
 God, finding within himfelf any flacknefs or dul- 
 nefs, any unfleadinefs, or wandring frame of 
 mind, how did the confideration of fuch things a* 
 thefe abafe him, and fill him with fhameand ccn- 
 fufion ! His love and hope, though they were 
 fuch as cad out a fervile fear of hell, yet were 
 attended with, and promoted reverential filial 
 fear of God, a dread of fin, and of God's holy 
 difpleafure. His joy feemed truly to be rejoicing 
 with trembling. His affurancc and comfort pro- 
 moted and maintained mourning for fin : holy 
 mourning with him, was not onlv the work of aa 
 hour or a day, at his fird converfion ; but he was 
 a mourner for fin all his cays. He did not, after 
 he received latisfaftion of the forgivenefs of his 
 fins, forget his pad fins, that were committed be- 
 fore his converfion ; but the remembrance of 
 them from time to time, revived his heart with 
 renewed grief : And how iadingly did the fins 
 committed after his converfion, affecl and break, 
 his heart ! if he did any thing whereby he thought 
 lie had in any^ refpedi difhonoured God, he had 
 never done with calling it to mind with forrow : 
 though he was affured that God had forgiven it, 
 Y 2 yet 
 
I_ 268 5 
 
 yet he never forgave himfelf. And his prefcnt 
 fins, that he daily found in himfelf, were an oc- 
 cafion of daily forrow of heart. 
 
 His religion was not like a blazing meteor, fly- 
 ing through the firmament with a bright train, 
 and then quickly going OHt ; but like the fleady 
 lights of heaven, that are conftant principals of 
 light, though fometimes hid with clouds. Nor 
 like a land-flood, which flows far and wide, 
 with a rappid ilream, bearing down all before it, 
 and then dried up ; but like a fliream fed by 
 living fprings ; which though fometimes in- 
 creafcd and at other times diminifhed, yet is a 
 conji ant Jir tarn, 
 
 Mr. Brainerd's comforts were not like thofe of 
 fome other perfons, which are attended, with a 
 fpiritual fatiety, and put an end to their religious 
 defires and longings, at leafl to the ardency of 
 them ; refting fatisfied, as having obtained their 
 chief end, which is to extinguifh their fears of 
 hell. On the contrary, how were they always 
 attended with longings and thirftings after greater 
 degrees of conformity to God ! And the greater 
 and fweeter his comforts were, the more vehe- 
 ment were his defires after holinefs. For his 
 longings were notfo much after joyful difcoveries 
 of God's love ; as after greater fpirituality, an 
 heart more engaged for God, to love, and exalt, 
 and depend upon him : an ability better to ferve 
 him, to do more for his glory. And his defires 
 were powerful and effeftual, to animate him to 
 the earneil, eager purfuit of thefe things. His 
 comforts never put an end to his feeking after 
 God. but greatly engaged and enlarged him therein. 
 His religion did not confift only in experience^ 
 without pratiice. All his comforts had a direft 
 tendency to practice ; and this, not merely a 
 praftice negatively good, but a praftice pofitively 
 holy and chrillian, in a ferious. devout, humble, 
 meek, merciful, charitable, and beneficent con- 
 verfation ; making the iervice of God, and our 
 Lord Jefus Chritt, the great bufinefs of life, 
 which he purfued with the greateft earnellnefft 
 sind diligence to the end of his days; 
 
[ *^9 ] 
 
 "ill. The foregoing account may afford matter 
 of convifiion, tJiat there is indeed facli d thini? as 
 true experimental religion, arifing from immediate 
 divine influences, lupernaturally enlightenincr* 
 andconvincingthemind, and powerfully quicken- 
 ing, fandif'ying, and governing the heart ; which 
 feligion is indeed an amiable thing, of happy ten- 
 dency, and of no hurtful conlequence to human 
 fociety ; notwithltanding there have been manv 
 pretences to experimental religion, that havo 
 proved lo be nothing but enilwfiafm. 
 
 If any infift, that Mr. Brainerd's religion was 
 enthufiafmy I \voul"d afk, if fuch things as thefa 
 are the fruits of enthufiafm, 1^22. honefty and 
 fimplicity, fmcere and earneil deilres and endea- 
 vours, to know and do what ever is right, and to 
 avoid every thing that is wrong; an high degree 
 of love to God, placing the happinefs of life in 
 him ; not only in contemplating him, but in 
 being aftive in pieaiing, and ferving him ; a 
 firm and undoubting belief in the Mcihah, as the 
 Saviour of the world ; together with great love 
 to hn"n, delight and complacency in the way ef 
 falvation by him and longing tor enlargement of 
 his kingdom : uncommon relignation to. the will 
 of God, and that under vaft trials ; univerlal 
 benevolence to mankind, reaching all forts of 
 perfons without diflin£lion, mani felted in Iwcet- 
 nels of fpeech and behaviour, kind trealmenr, 
 mercy, liberality, and earned feeking the good 
 of the fouls and bodies of men; attended with 
 extraordinary humility, meeknels, forgivcnefs of 
 injuries, and love to enemies ; a modelt, defcreet, 
 and decent deportment, amongfuperiors, inferiors, 
 and equals, a diligent improvement of time, and 
 carnelt care to lofe no part of it ; great watchful- 
 nelsagainft all forts or tin, of heart, fpeech, ajnl 
 aftion : and the foregoing amiable virtues all end- 
 ing in a marvellous peace, unmoveable calmnefs, 
 and refignation, in the fenfible approaches of ■ 
 death : I fav, if all thefe things arc the fruits of 
 inthufiafin, why fiiould not enthufiafm be thought a 
 defnablc and excellent thing? 
 
 y 3 And 
 
[ 270 J 
 
 And whereas there are many who are not 
 profefled oppofers af what is called experimental 
 religion, who yet doubt of the reality of it, from 
 the iad lives of fome profefTors ; and are ready to 
 determine that there is nothing in all the talk 
 about being born again, brought to Chriji, &c, 
 becaufe many that pretend to thefe things manifeft 
 no abiding alteration in their difpofition and 
 behaviour; are as carelefs, carnal, or covetous as 
 ever; yea, fome much worfe than ever: it is 
 acknowledged, that this is the cafe with fome ; 
 but by the pieceding account they may fee itis not 
 fo with ail.. There are fome indifputalale inflances 
 of fuch a change, a " renovation of the fpirit of 
 the mind," and a '* walking in newnefs of life," 
 In the foregoing; iiiftance particularly, they may- 
 fee the abiding infl-uence of fuch a work of con- 
 verfion ; the fruits of fuch experience through a 
 courfe of years ; under a great variety of circum- 
 flances and the blelTed event of it in life and in 
 death. 
 
 IV. Is there- not much in the preceding me- 
 moirs to teach, and excite to duty, us who are 
 called to the work of the minijiry ? What a deep 
 fenfc had he of the greatnefs and importance o£ 
 that woik, and with what weight did it lie on his 
 mind ! how fenfiblc was he of his own infuffi- 
 ciency for this work ; and how great was his 
 dependence on God's fufticiency ! how felicitous^ 
 that he might be fitted for if! and to this end^ 
 how much time did he fpend in prayer and fad- 
 ing, as well as reading and mediiation : giving. 
 himfelf to thcfe things ! how did he dedicate his_ 
 %vhole life,, all his powers and talents to Gad: 
 and forfake and renounce the world, with ail it5» 
 picafing and enfnaring enjoyments, that he might 
 be wholly at liberty, to ferve Chrlilin this work;; 
 and to " plcafe him who had chofen him to be a 
 foldier, under the Captain of our falvation !" 
 "With what folicitude, folemnity, and diligence 
 did he devote himfeif lo God our Saviour and 
 ieek his pcelenc.e and blefling, at the time of his^ 
 
 ordination! 
 
C 27' ] 
 
 ordination ! and how did his whole heart appear 
 to be conftantly engaged, his whole time employ- 
 ed, and his whole {Irength fpent in the buhne(s 
 
 he then undertook : And his hiflory fhews us 
 
 the right way \ofuccefs in the woik of the minif- 
 try. He fought it as a refolute foldier leeks 
 viftory, in a hegc or battle •, or as a man that rung 
 a race for a prize. Animated with love to Chrift 
 and fouls, how did he <' labour always fervently," 
 not only in word and do6lrinc, in public and 
 private, but in ^r^yfrj day and night, "^wreftling 
 with God" in lecret, and <' travailing in birth," 
 with unutterable groans and agonies, " until 
 Chrill were formed" in the h-earts of the people 
 to whom he was fent ! IIovv^ did he thirit for a- 
 blefling on his miniltry : and '• watch for fouls 
 as one that mud give an account !" How d'd he 
 «< go forth in the flrength of the Lord God ;•» 
 depending on a fpecial influence of the Spirit to 
 alTift him ! and what was the happy fruit at laf}^ 
 though after long waiting, and many difcouraging 
 appearances ! Like a true fon of Jacob, he per- 
 fevered in wreiUing, until the breaking of the day, 
 
 V. The foregoing account may afford indruc- 
 tion to Chri/iians in general J as it fhews, in many 
 refpe6ls, the right way of praBiftng religion, in 
 order to obtain the ends of it ; or how Chriflians 
 ihould " run the race fet before them," if they 
 would not " run as uncertainly," but would 
 honour God in the world, adorn their profeiTion,, 
 be ferviceable to mankind, have ihe comforts of 
 religion while they live, be free from difquieting 
 doubts ; enjoy peace in the approach of death, 
 and *' hniQi their courfe with joy." In gene- 
 ral, he much recommended, for this purpofe, 
 the redsmpiion of time j and great diligence in watch* 
 fulnefs. 
 
 And his example and fuccefs with, regard ta 
 one duty in fpecial, may be of great ufe to both 
 minillers and private Chriflians: I mean ttio 
 duty of fecret fading. The reader has feen how 
 routh Mr. Brainerd recommends this duty, how 
 fre(juenlly he exerciiea iiimfelf in it), and how: 
 
C 272 J 
 
 much he was owned and blefled in it, and of 
 what great benefit it evidently was to his foul. 
 Among all the days he fpent in fecret fading and 
 prayer, there is fcarce an inflance of one, but 
 what was attended with apparent fuccels, and a.; 
 remarkable blefiing, in fpecial incomes and con-ro 
 folations of God's fpirit. ■ But it mud be 
 
 obferved, that when he fet about this duty he did 
 it in good earneft ; " flirring up himfelf to take 
 hold of God," and " continuing inftant in 
 prayer," with much of the fpirit of Jacob, who 
 faid to the angel «' 1 will not let thee go, except 
 thou blefs me." 
 
 VI. One thing more may be obferved in the 
 preceding account of Mr. Brainerd ; and that is 
 the remarkable difpofai of Divine Providence, with 
 refpe61 to the arcuynjianccs of his laiijic/inefs and 
 death. 
 
 'Though he had been long infirm, his conftitu- 
 lion being much broken by his fatigues and hard- 
 fhips; and though he was often brought very 
 lov/ by illnefs, ye^ his life waspreferved, 'till he 
 had feen that which he had fo long and great'.y 
 defired, a glo; lous work of grace among the In- 
 dians. 
 
 And thoui;;h it was the pleafureof God, that ha 
 fhould be t.iken r^ff-^rom his labours among that: 
 people, who were fo dear to him; yet this was 
 riot before they were wellinilrutled in the Chrif- 
 tian religion, confirmed and fixed in the Chrif- 
 tian faith and manners, formed into a church : 
 brought into a good way with rcfpett to the 
 education of children; collected in a town by 
 themfelveSj on a good piece of land of their ovv-n ; 
 and introduced into the w,ay of living by huf» 
 bandry. Thefe things v/ere but jufl brought to 
 pafs by his indefatigable applications, and then 
 he was taken off from his work. If this liad 
 been but a littie fooner, they would by no means 
 have been prepared for fuch a difpenfation ; and 
 it probably would have been more to their fpiri- 
 tual intereil, and of the caufe of Chriltianity 
 among them. 
 
 The 
 
C 273 3 
 
 The time and circum (lances of his illnefs wcr« 
 fo ordered, that he had jufl opportunity to finifh 
 his journal. A foundation was hereby laid for a 
 concern in others for that caufe, and proper care 
 and meafures to be taken for the maintaining it 
 after his death. As it has a6lually proved to be 
 of great benefit in this refpeft : it having excited 
 many in thofe parts, and alfo more diftant parts 
 of America, to exert themfel ves for the promoting 
 fo glorious a work, remarkably opening their 
 hearts and hands: and not only in America, but 
 in Great Britain, where that Journal has been an 
 occafion of fome large benefaftions, made for the 
 promoting the intereft of Chriflianity among the 
 Indians. 
 
 He was not taken off from the work of the mi- 
 niftry among his people, 'till his brother was in 
 a capacity and circumftances Xofucceed him in his 
 care of them : who fucceeds him in the lik« 
 fpirit, and under whofe prudent and faithful care 
 his congregation has flourifhed, and been very 
 happy, fi nee he left them ; and probably could 
 not have been fo well provided for otherwife. If 
 Mr. Brainerd had been difabled fooner, his 
 brother would by no means have been ready to 
 fland up in his place ; having taken his firll 
 degrees at college but about that very time that he 
 was feized with this very fatal confumption. 
 
 Though in that winter that he lay fick at Mr. 
 Dickinfon's in Elizabsth-Town, he continued 
 for a long time in an extremely low (late, fo that 
 his life was almoft defpaired of, and his ftate was 
 fometimes fuch that it was hardly expefted he 
 would live a day to an end; yet his life was 
 fpared awhile longer; he lived to fee his brother 
 arrived in New-Jerfey, being come to fuccced 
 him in the care of his Indians ; and he himfelf 
 had opportunity to aflifl in his examination and 
 introduftion into his bufinefs : and to commit 
 the conduft of his dear people to one whom he 
 well new, and could put confidence in, and ufe 
 freedom with in giving him particular inftruftions 
 and charges, and under whole care he could 
 
 leave 
 
I 274 1 
 
 leave his congregation with great chearfulnefs. 
 The providence of God \vas remarkable in fo 
 ordering of it, that before his death he (hould 
 take a journey into New-England, and ^o to 
 Bofton : which was, in many refpefts, of very 
 great and happy confequences to the intereft of 
 rcligioHj and cfpecially among his own people. 
 By this means, as has been oblerved, he was 
 brought into acquaintance with many perfons of 
 note and influence, miniflers and others, belong- 
 ing both to the town and various parts of the 
 country; and had opportunity under the bell 
 advantages, to bear a teilimony for God and true 
 religion. 
 
 1 he providence of God was obfcrvable in his 
 going to Bofton at a time when not only the 
 honourable commiflloners were feeking milTiona- 
 ries tpthe Six Nations, but juft after his journal, 
 which gives an account of his labours and fuccefs 
 among the Indians, had been fpread at Bofton ; 
 whereby his name was known, and the minds of 
 ferious people were well prepared to receive his 
 perfon, and the teftimonieshe there gave for God; 
 to exert themfelves for the upholding and promot- 
 ing the intereft of religion in his congregation, 
 and amongft the Indians ellewhere : and to regard 
 his judgment concerning the qualifications of 
 miffionaries. If he had gone there the fall before, 
 (when he had intended to have made his journey 
 into New-England, but was prevented by a fuddea 
 great increafe of his illnefs) it would not have 
 been likely to have been to fo good effeft ; and 
 alfo if he had not been unexpeftedly detained in 
 Bofton ; for when he went from my houfe, he 
 intended to make but a very ihort ftay there ; but 
 Divine Providence by his being brought fo low 
 there, detained him long ; thereby to make way 
 for the fulfilling his own gracious defigns. 
 
 Thus, although it was the pleafure of God, 
 that he (hould be taken away from his congrega- 
 tion ; yet it was granted to him, that before he 
 died he fhould fee them well provided for every 
 way : Le faw them provided for with one to 
 
 inftrua 
 
^75 J 
 
 inflruft them, and take care of their fouls ; hi» 
 own brother, whom he could confide in : he faw 
 a good foundation laid for the fupport of the 
 fchoof among them: thofe things that before 
 were wanting in order to its being fupplied ; and 
 he had alfo opportunity to leave all his dying 
 charges with his fucceffor in the padoral care of 
 his people, and by him to fend his dying counfslj 
 to them. 
 
 Another thing, wherein appears the merciful 
 dlfpofal of Providence, was, that he did not die 
 in the wildernefs, among the favages, at Kaunau- 
 meek, or the Forks of Delaware, or at Sufqua- 
 hannah : but in a place where his dying behaviour 
 might be obferved, and fome account given for 
 the benefit of furvivers: and alfo where care 
 might be taken of him in his ficknefs, and proper 
 honours done him at his death. 
 
 I would not conclude my obfervations on the 
 merciful circumftances of Mr, Brainerd's death 
 without acknowledging with thankfulnefs, the 
 gracious difpenfations of Providence to me and 
 my family in fo ordering, that he (though the 
 ordinary place of his abode was more than two 
 hundred miles diftant) fhould he cafl hither to my 
 houfe, in his laft ficknefs, and (hould die here : 
 fo that we had opportunity for much acquaintance 
 and converfation with him, and to lliew him 
 kindnefe in fuch circumftances, and to fee hia 
 dying behaviour, to hear his dying fpeeches, to 
 receive his dying counfels, and to have the bene- 
 fit of his dying prayers. May God in infinite 
 mercy grant, that we may ever retain a proper 
 remembrance of thefe things, and make a due 
 improvement of the advantages we ha.wQ had ! 
 The Lord grant alfo, that the foregoing account 
 may be for the fpiritual benefit of all that read it 
 and prove a happy means of promoting true 
 religion in the world 1 Amen. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
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