DUKE 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 Treasure "Room 
 

 
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Jfeib* *&»j£&tsy<£ 
 
 J 
 
HUDIBRAS. 
 
 THE 
 
 Third and laffc 
 
 PART- 
 
 Written by the A u r h o r 
 
 of the 
 
 First and. Second Parts. 
 
 LO NT) N, 
 
 Printed for Simon Miller, at the Sign of the Sfar 
 at the Weft End of St. Pauls. 1678, 
 

 cry?/- ,, 
 
 ■/k- 
 
 <7^* ^ 4?H? i£z*. 4~~* , ~&*~*4 X- -^ < 
 
 
 'Syr C/<f~Z*3^2_2 
 
HUD I BR AS. 
 
 The Third and laft Part. 
 
 The ARGUMENT of the 
 
 FIRST CANTO of the Third Part. 
 
 The Knight and Squire refolve, at ome t 
 
 The one •, the other, to renounce ; 
 
 They both approach the Ladies Bower, 
 
 The Squire f inform, the Knight to xvooe her * 
 
 She treats them with a Masquerade, 
 
 By Furies, and Hobgoblins made, 
 
 From which the Squire conveys the Knight, 
 
 jdndfteals him, from himfe/f, hy Night. 
 
 • — i 
 
 1 
 
 CANTO I. 
 
 '■^TT^Is true, no Lover has tbatPow'r, 
 
 ': T' enforce a defperate Amour, 
 As he that has two Strings k? his Bom 
 And bOTS for lave, and Money too : 
 
 A 2 
 
9 CANTO I, 
 
 For then he's Brave, and Refolute, 
 
 Difdains to render in his Suit, 
 
 H'as all his Flames and Raptures double, 
 
 And Hangs or Drowns, with half the trouble. 
 
 While thofe who fillily purfiie 
 
 The fimple downright way and true, 
 
 Make as unlucky Applications, 
 
 And fleer, againft the Stream, their paflions ; 
 
 Sotne forge their Mtftreffesot Stars . 
 
 And when the Ladyes prove averfe 
 
 And more untoward to be won, 
 
 Then by Caligula, the Moon, 
 
 Cry out upon the Stars, for doing 
 
 111 Offices, to crofs their JVooing, 
 
 When only by themfelves, they're hindred 
 
 For trufting thofe they made her kindred : 
 
 And ftill the Ilarfner, and Hide-bounder 
 
 Jhe Pamfels prove, become the Fonder. 
 
 fe 
 
CANTO I. 3 
 
 For what Mad Lover ever 'dy'd, 
 To gain a fbft, and gentle Bride t 
 
 Or for a Lady tender-hearted, 
 
 'f. •■ 
 
 In Purling Streams '^ or /7e»a^ departed ? 
 
 Leap't headlong int' £liz,ium P 
 
 Through th' Windows of a Dazzling Room ? 
 
 But for fbme crofs Ill-natur'd Dame, 
 
 The Am'rous Fly burnt in his flame. 
 
 This to the Knight could be no Atews. 
 
 With all Mankind, fb much in ufe ; 
 
 Who therefore took the wiier courfe. 
 
 To mate the mort of his Amour s, 
 
 Refblv'd to try all forts of ways, 
 
 As follows in due Time and Placet 
 
 No fboner was the bloody Fight, 
 Between the fVtzard, and the Knight, 
 
 A 3 With 
 
4 CANTO I. 
 
 With all th' Appurtenances over, 
 
 But he relaps'd again t' a Lover: 
 
 As he was always wont to do, 
 
 When h' had difcomfited a Foe, 
 
 And us'd as only Antick Philters, 
 
 Deriv'd from old Herokk Tilters. 
 
 But now Triumphant, and Victorious, 
 
 He held th' Atchievement was too glorious 
 
 For fiich a Conquerour, to meddle 
 
 With PtttyQonfiabky or Beadle: 
 
 Or fly for Refuge, to the Hojiefi 
 
 Of th' Ins of Court, and Chanc'iy,^///?/^ : 
 
 Who might, perhaps, reduce his Caufe 
 
 To th' Ordeal Tryal of the Laws ; 
 
 Where none efcape, but fuch as branded 
 
 With red-hot Irons have pad Bare-handed i 
 
 And if they cannot read one Verfe 
 
 Iti) Pfelmsy jnuft fing it, and that's worie. 
 
 U* 
 
CANTO % 
 
 lie therefore judging it, below him, 
 To tempt a fhame, the Dev*l might owe Um\ 
 Refblv'd to leave the Squire for Bail 
 Arid Mainprise for him, to the Gaol^ 
 To anfwer, with his VefTel, all 
 That might dif aftroufly befall, 
 He thought it now the fitteft jun&ure-J 
 To give the Lady a Rencounter ; 
 T' acquaint her with his Expedition, 
 And Conquell, o're the fierce Magician 
 Defcribe the manner of the Fray, 
 And fhew the fpoils he brought away. 
 His bloody Scourging aggravate, 
 The Number of the Blows, and Weight \ 
 All which might probably, fucceed, 
 And gain belief, h' had done the d^cd. 
 Which he refblv'd to enforce, and fpaf e ? ; 
 No pawning of his Soul, to fwear ; 
 
 A 4 
 
6 CANTO I. 
 
 But rather then produce his Back, 
 
 To fcJt his Confcience on the Rack : 
 
 And in purfiiance of his urging, 
 
 Of Articles*pjerform'd, and fcourging : 
 
 And all things elfe, upon his part, 
 
 Demand delivery of her Heart, 
 
 Her Goodsj and Chattels, and good Graces, 
 
 And Perfbn, up to his embraces. 
 
 Thought he, the Ancient Errant Knights, 
 Won all their Ladies Hearts, in Fights, 
 And cut whole Gyants into fitters, 
 To put them into amorous twitters : 
 Whole flubborn Bowels fcorn'd to yield, 
 Until their Gallwts were half kilPd : 
 But when their Bones were drub'd fb fore, 
 They durft not tvooe cne Combat more ; 
 
CAHTO I. 
 
 The Ladies Hearts began to melt, 
 Subdu'd with Blows their Lovers felt. 
 So Spanifi Heroes, with their Lances, 
 At once wound Buffs, and Ladies fancies ; 
 And he acquires the nobleft Spoufe, 
 That Widdow'sgreateft Herds of Cows, 
 Then what may I expect to do, 
 Wh' have quePd fo vaft a Buffalo t 
 
 Mean while, the Squire was on his way, 
 The Knight's late Orders to obey ; 
 Who lent him for a Strong Detachment 
 Of Beadles, Conftables, and IVatchmen ; 
 T' attack the Cunning-man, for Plunder 
 Committed falfly on his Lumber, 
 When he, who had fo lately fack'd 
 Jhe Jfyiemy, had done the Facl:, 
 
 Had 
 
8 CANTO I. 
 
 Had rifled all his Pokes, and Fobs, 
 
 Of Gimcracfa IVkims, and figgtimbobs ; 
 
 Which He, by Hook, or Crook, had gather'd ; 
 
 And for his own Inventions, fathered : 
 
 And when fcheyfhould, at Gaol-delivery) 
 
 Unriddle one another's Thievery, 
 
 Both might have evidence, enough, 
 
 To render neither Halter-proof. 
 
 He thought it defperate, to tarry,' 
 
 And venture to be Acctftary : 
 
 But rather wifely flip his Fetters, 
 
 And leave them for the Knight, his Betters; 
 
 He call'd to mind th' unjufi foul play 
 
 He would have offer'd him, that day ; 
 
 To make hiin curry his own Hide, 
 
 Which no Beail ever did befide, 
 
 Widiout all poiTible evafion, 
 
 But of the Ridwg D'h$en[athn« 
 
 And 
 
 
CANTO I. 9 
 
 And therefore much about th' hour, 
 The Knight (for realbns told before) 
 Refolv'd, to leave him, to the Fury, 
 Of fltftice y and an unpackt,fary: 
 The Squire concur'd t'abandon him, 
 And ferve him in the felf-fame Trim. 
 T'acquaint the Lady what h' had done, 
 And what he meant to carry on ; 
 What Project 'twas he went about, 
 When Sidrophel and he fell out : 
 His firm, and ftedfaft Refblution, 
 To fwear her to an Execution : 
 To pawn his inward Ears, to marry her, 
 And Bribe the Dev'l himfelf to carry her. 
 In which both dealt, as if they meant 
 Their Party Saints toreprefent, 
 Who never faiPd, upon their fharing 
 in any Prosperous /Zrms-bww^ 
 
io CANTO I. 
 
 To lay themfelves out, to fiipplant 
 Each other Qouftn-Gtrmm Saint. 
 But e're the Knight could do his Part, 
 The Squire had got fb much the Start, 
 H 7 had to the Lady done his Errand, 
 And told her all his tricks afore-haiid. 
 Juft as he finifh'd his Report, 
 The Knight alighted in the Court ; ' 
 And having ty'd his Beaft t' a Pale, 
 And taken time, for both to ftale 
 He put his Band, and Beard in Order, 
 The Sprucer, to accoft, and board her. 
 And now began € approach the Door, - 
 When fhe, wh' had Ipy'd him out before, 
 Convey'd th' Informer, out of fight, 
 And went to entertain the Knight. 
 With whom encountring, Jfttr Zongees 
 Of humhk) and fubmijfive (Jongees, 
 
 Md 
 
CANTO J. i| 
 
 And all Due Ceremonies paid, 
 He flrok'd his Beard, and thus he laid, 
 Madam, I do, as is my Duty, 
 Honour the Shadow of your Shoo-tye. 
 And now am come, to bring your Ear 
 A Prefent, you'l be glad to hear ; 
 At leaft I hope lb, The things done, 
 Or may I never lee the Sun ; 
 For which I humbly now demand 
 Performance, at your gentle Hand : 
 And that yould pleale to do your pa.' t 
 As I have done mine, to my Imart, . 
 With that he fhrug'd his fturdy back, 
 As if he felt his Shoulders ake : 
 Butfhe who well enough, knew what 
 (Before he Ipoke) he would be at, 
 Pretended not to apprehend 
 The Myftery, of what he mean ? d i 
 
 And 
 
i2 CANTO I. 
 
 And therefore wifn'd Win to expound 
 His dark expreflions, left profound. 
 Ma^am^ quoth he, I come to prove 
 How much, I've fuffer'd for your Love : 
 Which (like your Votary) to win, 
 I have not fpar'd my tatter'd skin : 
 And for thofe meritorious Lafhes, 
 To claim your favour, and good Graces. 
 Quoth fhe, I do remember, once 
 I freed you, from th' Inchanted Sconce ; 
 And that you promised, for that favour, 
 To bind your Back to th' good Behaviour, 
 And for my Sake, and Service, vow'd, 
 To lay upon't a heavy Load, 
 And what 'twould bear, t' a fcruple, prove, 
 As other Knights do oft make love : 
 Which whether you have done or no, 
 Concerns your felf, potnie^tQtaow. 
 
 But 
 
CANTO I. i 3 
 
 But if you have, I fhall confefs 
 Y* are honefter, then I could guefs ; 
 Quoth he, if you fiifpect my troth, 
 I cannot prove it, but by Oath ; 
 And if you make a queftion on't: 
 I'le pawn my Soul, that I have don't. 
 And he that makes his Soul, his Surety 
 I think, does give the beft fecurity. 
 Quoth ihe, fbme lay, the SouVs ftctire, 
 jOgainft Diftreft, and Forfeiture ; 
 Is free from Action, and exempt 
 From Execution, and Contempt ; 
 And to be iummon'd to appear 
 In th' other world, 's illegal here : 
 And therefore few make any account, 
 In t 7 what incumbrances they run't. 
 For moft Men carry tilings fb even 
 Jtetween this \tVortt, and ffeU, and Havea ; 
 
 With- 
 
i4 CANTO I. 
 
 Without the leaft ofFencfrtd either, 
 
 .They freely deal in all together i 
 
 And equally abhor to quit 
 
 This World*, for both, or both for it. 
 
 AncJ when they pawn, and damn their Souls, 
 
 They axebut Prisoners on Parols. 
 
 For that, quoth he, 'tis rational 
 
 They may be accomptable, in all ; 
 
 For when there is that intercourfe, 
 
 Between Divine, and Humane Powers ; 
 
 That all that we determine here, 
 
 Commands Obedience every where ; 
 
 When penalties may be commuted, 
 
 For Fines, or Ears, and Executed^ 
 
 It follows, nothing binds fo faft 
 
 As Souls in Pawn, and Mortgage paft ; 
 
 For Oaths are th' only Ttfls, and Seals, 
 
 Of Might, and 7Vr<mg, and Tm,w& f0* 
 
 And 
 
CANT 01. 15 
 
 And there's no other way to try 
 
 The Doubts of Law, and Juftice by; 
 
 Quoth She, what is it you would Swear Z 
 
 There's no believing till I hear : 
 
 For till th' are underftood, all Tales 
 
 (Like Nonfenfe) are nor True, nor FMfei 
 
 Quoth he, when I refolv'd t' obey 
 
 What you commanded th' other day ; 
 
 And to perform my Elerciie,- 
 
 (As Schools are wont) for your fair eyes? 
 
 T' avoid all Scruples in the Cafe, 
 
 I went to do't upon the Place r 
 
 But as the Cafik is inchantedy 
 
 By Sidropbdtht TVitch, and haunted 
 
 With evil Spirits as you know, 
 
 Who took my Squire and me for two \ 
 
 Before I'd hardly time to lay 
 
 My Weapons by, and cjifarray, 
 
 $ fheard 
 
\6 CANTO I. 
 
 ■* » • — . _^___ 
 
 I heard a Formidable Noife 
 
 Loud as the Stentrophonick Voice, 
 
 That Roar'd far off ; Difpatch and Strip, 
 
 I'm ready with th' Infernal Whip, 
 
 That fhall diveft thy Ribs of Skin, 
 
 To expiate thy lingring Sin : 
 
 Th' haft broke perfldioufly thy Oath, 
 
 And not performed thy plighted Troth : 
 
 But fpar'd thy Renegado Back, 
 
 Where th' hadft fo great a Prize at Stake. 
 
 Which now the Fates have order'd me 
 
 For Penance and Revenge to Flea. 
 
 Unlefs thou prefently make haft, 
 
 Time is, Time was, and there it ceased. 
 
 With which though ftartled I confers 
 
 Yet th' Horror of the tiling was lefs ; 
 
 Than th' other Difmal apprehenfion, 
 
 Of Interruption or Prevention* 
 
 m 
 
CANTO L i; 
 
 And therefore (hatching up the Rod, 
 I laid upon my back a load ; 
 Refblv'd to fpare no Flefh and Blood, 
 To make my Word and Honour good i 
 till tyr'd, and taking Truce at length, 
 For new Recruits of Breath and Strength, 
 I felt the Slews, frill ply'd as faff, 
 As if th' had been by Lovers Plac'd, 
 In Raptures of PUtomqite Lajhmg, 
 And ehaft CotaemfUtht Bardajb'mg, 
 When facing haftily about^ 
 To ftand upon my Guard, and Seout ? 
 I found th' Infernal Cunning-mart, 
 Andth'Under-witch his Galiban, 
 With Scourges (like the Furies) Arm'd* 
 That on my outward Quarters ftorm'd i 
 In haft, I fhatch'd my weapon up, 
 And gave their HelUJh Rage a flop* 
 
 B a OlTd 
 
i8 CANTO I 
 
 CalPd thrice upon your Name, and fell 
 
 Couragioufly, on Sidrophel. 
 
 Who now transform'd himfelf t' a Bear, 
 
 Began to Roar aloud, and tear, 
 
 When I as furioufly preft on, 
 
 My weapon down his Throat to run, 
 
 Laid hold on him, but he broke loofe, 
 
 AndturnM himfelf into a Goofe : 
 
 Div'd under Water, in a Pond, 
 
 ,To hide himfelf from being found : 
 
 In vain I fought him, but as fbon 
 
 'As I perceiv'd him fled and gone ; 
 
 Prepar'dwith equal Haft and Rage, 
 
 I lis Under Sorcerer t' ingage ; 
 
 But bravely Scorning to defile, 
 
 My Sword with feeble blood and vile ; 
 
 I judg'd it better from a Quick- 
 
 Set-Hedge to cut a knotted Stick, 
 
CANTO I. 
 
 *9 
 
 Witli which, I furioufly laid on, 
 
 Till in a Harfh and Doleful tone, 
 
 It Roar'd, Oh Hold for pity Sir, 
 
 fram too great a Sufferer, 
 
 s4bus*d y as you have been P a Witch, 
 
 But conjur'd into a worfe Caprich 
 
 Who fends me out, on many a Jaunt, 
 
 Old Houfes in the Night to haunt : 
 
 For opportunities^ t' Improve 
 
 Defigns of Thievery or Love : 
 
 With Drugs convey'd in Drink, orMeat, 
 
 All Feats of 'Witches counterfeit, 
 
 Kill Pigs and Geefe with PouderedGlafs, 
 
 And make it for Inchantmnts Pais. 
 
 With Corvitch meazle like a Leper 
 
 And choak with Fumes ofGuiny-Pepper, 
 
 Make Leathers, and their Punks with Dewtry, 
 
 Commit Phantaftical Advowtry, 
 
 B 5 Bewitch 
 
20 CANTO I. 
 
 Bewitch Hermetique-men to Run 
 Stark flaring mad with Manicon^ 
 Believe Me-chanick Virtuofi, 
 Can raife 'em Mountains in Potofi ; 
 And fillier than the 4ntkk fools, 
 Take Treasure for a £&/*/> of Coals : 
 Seek out for Plants with Signatures 
 To Quack of Univerfal Cures : 
 With Figures ground on Pants otGlafs, 
 Make People on their Heads to pais ; 
 And mighty heaps of Coyn increafe, 
 Reflected from a fingle piece : 
 
 To Draw in Fools whofe Nat'ral Itches ; 
 Incline perpetually to Witches ; 
 And keep me in continual Fears 
 And Danger of my Neck and Ears: 
 When lefs Delinquent have bien fcourg'd 
 And Hemp on wooden Anvils forg\l 7 
 
 
CANTO I. 21 
 
 Which others for Cravats have worn. 
 About their Necks and took a Turn : 
 I pity'd the fad Punifhment, 
 The wretched Cait/ffe underwent, 
 And Held my Drubbing of his Bones, 
 Too great an honour for Pultrones ; 
 For Knights are bound to feel no Blows 
 From Paltry and unequal Foes, 
 Who when they flafh and cut to pieces, 
 Do all with civileft addrefTes ; 
 Their Horfes never give a blow, 
 But when they make a Leg and Bow : 
 I therefore Spar'd his Flefh, and Preft him 
 About the Witch with man' a Queftion, 
 Quoth he, For many years he drove 
 A kind of Broking-Trade in Love, 
 Employed in all th' Intrigues and TrttJ? 9 
 Of feeble Speculative Luft ; 
 
 B 4 Procurer 
 
22 CANTO I. 
 
 Procurer to th ? Extravagancy, 
 
 And crazy Ribaldry of Fancy ; 
 
 By thofe the Devil had forfook 
 
 As things below him, to proyoke 
 
 But b'ing a virtuofb, able 
 
 f To Smatter y Quack, and Cant, and Dabble, 
 
 He held his Talent moil Adroyt 
 
 For any My ft leal Exploit ; 
 
 As others of his Tribe had done, 
 
 And rais'd their Prices Three to One ; 
 
 For one Predicting Pimp has th ? Odds 
 
 QtChauldrons, of plain downright Bauds : 
 
 But as an £ If (the Devils Falet) 
 
 Is not fb flight a thing to get, 
 
 For thofe that do his Bufinefs belt, 
 
 In Hell, are us'd the kuggedeft : 
 
 Before fo meriting a Perfba 
 
 Could ffet a Grant, but in geverfton ; 
 
CANTO I. 23 
 
 ]HLe ferv'd two Prenticefhips and longer^ 
 Fth* Myft'ry of a Lady-Monger* 
 For (as fbme write) A Witches Ghofi, 
 As fbon as from the Body loos'd, 
 Becomes a Putney-Imp it felf, 
 And is another Witches Elf. 
 He after fearching far and near, 
 At length found one in Lancashire, 
 With whom he bargain'd before hand, 
 And after Hanging, entertain'd : 
 Since which, H' has playd a thoufand Feats, 
 And Pra&is'd all Mechanic!* Cheats : 
 Transformed himfelf, to th' ugly Shapes^ 
 Ot Wolves, and^e^j", Baboons, and sfpes ; 
 Which he has vary'd more than Witches, 
 Or Pharaohh Wizards could their Switches 1 
 And all with whom H' has had to do, 
 Tiira'd %o as Monftrous Figures too. 
 
 Witneis 
 
24 CANTO I. 
 
 Witnefs my felf whom h' has abus'd 
 And to this Beaftly fhape Reduc'd ; 
 By feeding me on Beans and Peafe, 
 He Cram's in Nafiy Crevices ■, 
 And turns to Comfits by his Arts, 
 To make me relilh for Differts, 
 
 And one by one with Shame and Fear, 
 Lick up the Candid Provender. 
 Befide — ■ — But as h* was running on y 
 To tell what other Feats h' had done, 
 The Lady ftopt his full Carier, 
 And told him, Now 'twas time to hear, 
 If half thofe things (faid (lie) be true, 
 (TV are all (Quoth he) /fivear by you :) 
 Why then (laid fhe) that Sidrophel 
 Has Damn'd himfelf to th' Pit of Hell : 
 Who mounted on a Broom, the Nag 
 \dnd Hackney of a Lapland Hag, 
 
 h 
 
CANTO I. 25 
 
 In Queft of you came hither Poft, 
 Within an Hour (f m fure) at mofl, 
 Who told me all you fwear and lay, 
 Quite contrary another way : 
 
 Vow'd that you came to him to know 
 If you fhould carry me or no ; 
 And would have hir'd him and his Imps, 
 To be your Match-makers and Pimps, 
 T' ingage the Devil on your fide, 
 And fteal (like Profevpwe) your Bride. 
 
 But he difHaining to embrace 
 So filthy a Defign and Bale, 
 You fell to vapouring and Huffing, 
 And drew upon him like a Ruffin, 
 Surpriz'd him meanly, unprepar'd, 
 Before h' had time to mount his Guard ; 
 And left: him dead upon the Ground, 
 With many a Brujfe and defperate wound. 
 
 Swore 
 
16 CANTO I. 
 
 Swore you had broke, and Rob'd his Houfe 
 And ftole his Talifmamqtte Loufe, 
 And all his *Nev? -found Old Inventions 
 With Flat Felonious Intentions : 
 Which he could bring out where he had, 
 And what he bought 'em for and Paid. 
 His Flea, his Morpion, and Punefe^ 
 H' had gotten for his Proper eafe, 
 And all in perfect Minutes made, 
 By th' Ableft Artifts of the Trade : 
 Which (he could prove it) fince he loft, 
 He has been eaten up almoft : 
 And all together, might amount 
 To many hundreds on account : 
 For which h' had got fufficient warrant, 
 To feize the Malefactors Errand ; 
 Without capacity of Bail, 
 But of a Orts, or Horfts Tail: 
 
CANTO I. 
 
 And did not doubt to bring the Wretches, 
 
 To ferve tor Pendulums to Watches : 
 
 Which modern Vertuofo's fay, 
 
 Incline to Hanging every way. 
 
 Befide he fwore, and fwore 'twas true, 
 
 That er'e he went in Quefl of you. 
 
 He fet a Figure to Difcover 
 
 If you were fled to Rye, or Dover , 
 
 And found it clear that to betray 
 
 Your felves and me, you fled this way, 
 
 And that he was upon purfuit 
 
 To take you fbmewhere hereabout. 
 
 He vow'd h' had had Intelligence, 
 
 Of all that paft before and fince : 
 
 And found that e're you came to him, 
 
 Y' had been Ingaging Life and Limb, 
 
 About a cafe of tender Confcience, 
 
 .Where both aboun4e4 in your own Senje : 
 
 27 
 
 Till 
 
28 CANTO I. 
 
 Till Ralpho by his Light and Grace, 
 
 Had cleared all Scruples in the Cafe : 
 
 And prov'd that you might fwear and owri 
 
 Whatever'sby the Wicked done : 
 
 For which moft bafely to requite 
 
 The Service of his Gifts and Light y 
 
 .You ftrove t* oblige him by main force 
 To fcourge his Ribs inftead of yours^ 
 
 But that he flood upon his Guard, 
 And all your vapouring outdar'd, 
 For which between you both, the Feat 
 Has never been perform'd as yet. 
 While thus the Lady talk'd, the Knight 
 Turn'd th' Outfide of his eyes to white, 
 (As men of Imvard light are wont 
 To turn their Of ticks in ufotft) 
 He wonder'd how fhe came to know, 
 What he had done and meant to do; 
 
 Held 
 
CANTO I. 29 
 
 Held up his Affidavit handy 
 As if h' had been to be arraign'd : 
 Caft t' wards the Door a Ghaftly look, 
 In Dread of Sidrophel, and fpoke, 
 Madam, if but one word be true, 
 Of all the Wizard has told you, 
 Or but one fingle Circumflance 
 In all th' apocryphal Romance : 
 
 May dreadful Earthquakes fwallow down, 
 This VefTel, that is all your own : 
 Or may the Heavens fall and cover, 
 Thtfe Relicks of your Conftant Lover : 
 You have provided well, quoth She, 
 (I h ink you) for your lelf and me : 
 Anr 1 Ihewn vour Presbyterian wits, 
 Jump punchial wkh the^e//wfe.f. 
 A mod compendious way and civil, 
 <At once to cheat the WqyU, the Devil, 
 
 And 
 
3 o CANTO t 
 
 And Heaven and Hell, your Selves and Thofe, 
 
 On whom you vainly think t' impofe^ 
 
 Why then (Quoth He) may Hellfurprize 
 
 That trick (faid fix) will not pafs twice, 
 
 I've learn d how far I'm to believe 
 
 Your Pinning Oaths upon your Sleeve* 
 
 But there's a better way of Clearing 
 
 What you would prove than downright Swearing, 
 
 For if you have perform'd the Feat, 
 
 The Blows are vifible as yet : 
 
 Enough to ferve for fatisfacliion 
 
 Of Niceft fcruples in the Action : 
 
 And if you can produce thole limbs 
 
 Although th'are but the Witches Drubs ; 
 
 I'le pais them all upon account, 
 
 f 
 As if your Natural Self had don't. 
 
 Provided that they pafs th' opinion, 
 
 £)f Abie Juries of old Women i 
 
CANT 01 ft 
 
 Who us'd to judge all matfr of Faffs 
 For Bellies , may do fo ? for Backs: , 
 
 Madam (quoth he) your Lovers a Million^ 
 
 To do is kfl, than to be willing. 
 
 As I am, were it in my Pow'r; 
 
 T* obey what you command and more I 
 
 But for performing what you bid, 
 
 I thank you as much, as if I did i 
 
 You know I ought to have a care 
 
 To keep my wounds, frorn taking Air ; 
 
 for wounds in thofe that are all Heart* 
 
 Are dangerous in any Parti 
 
 I find (quoth (he) my Goods and Chattels' 
 Are like to prove, but meer drawn Bdttels § 
 For ftill the longer We contend* 
 We are but farther off the end. 
 
 € B\it 
 
3 2 CANTO I. 
 
 But granting now, we fhould agree, 
 
 What is it you expect from me ? 
 
 Your plighted Faith (quoth he) and Word 
 
 You paftin Heaven, on Record. 
 
 Where all Contracts, to have, and t' hold 
 
 Are everlaftingly inrol'd, 
 
 And if 'tis counted Treafbn, here 
 
 To race Records, 'tis much more there. 
 
 Quoth fhe, there are no Bargains drivn 
 
 Nor Marriages clap'd up in Heaven , 
 
 And that's die reafbn as fbme guefs, 
 
 There is no Heav'n in Marriages : 
 
 Two things, that naturally prels 
 
 Too narrowly, to be at eafe : 
 
 Their bus'nefs there is only Love 
 
 Which Marriage is not like t' improve. 
 
 Love, that's too generous, t' abide 
 
 To be agajnftits Nature, ty'd: 
 
 £o* 
 
CANTO 1. 33 
 
 For where 'tis of it felf inclin'd 
 It breaks loofe, when it is confin'd : 
 And like the Soul its harbourer, 
 Debar'd the freedom of the Air - 
 Difdains, againft its will, to ftay, 
 But ftruggles out, and flies away. 
 And therefore, never can comply 3 
 T' indure the Matrimonial tye : 
 That binds the Female, and the Male, 
 Where th' one is but the others Bail. 
 Like Roman Gaolers, when they flept, 
 Chain'd to the Prifoners they kept. 
 Of which the True, and Faithful 1 ft Lover 
 Gives beft fecurity, to faffer: 
 
 Marriage is but a Btaft, lome fay, . 
 That carries double in foul tvay t 
 
 G i And 
 
54 CANTO I- 
 
 And therefore 'tis not to be admir'd, 
 It fhould fo fuddenly be tyr'd: 
 A bargain, at a venture made, 
 Between two Part'ners in a Trade, 
 (For what's infer'd by T* have, and ? hold, 
 But fbmething pall: away, and fold ? ) 
 That as it makes but one, of two, 
 Reduces all things elfe, as low : 
 And at the beft is but a Mart 
 Between the one, and th' other part, 
 That on the Marriage-day is paid, 
 Or, hour .of Death, the Bet it laid : 
 And all the reft of Bttfr or worfe 
 Both are but Iofers, out of Purfe. 
 For when upon their ungot Heirs 
 Th' intail themfelves, and all that's theirs, 
 What blinder Bargain e're was driven, 
 Or Wager laid at fix and /even I 
 
 w 
 
CANTO I. 35 
 
 To pafs themfelves away, and turn 
 
 Their Children's Tenants, e're th' are born I 
 
 Beg one another Idiot, 
 
 To Guardians e're they are begot ; 
 
 Or ever fhall, perhaps, by th' one, 
 
 Who's bound to vouch 'em for his own. 
 
 Though got b' Implicite Generation, 
 
 And General Club of all the Nation ; 
 
 For which (he's fortify'd no lefs 
 
 Than all the Ifland, with four Seas l 
 
 Exacts the Tribute of her Dow'r 
 
 In ready Infolence, and Pow'r ; 
 
 And makes him pafs away, to Have 
 
 -And Hold, to her, bimfelf, her flave, 
 
 More wretched than an Ancient Villain, 
 
 Condemn'd to Drudgery, and Tilling, 
 
 While all he does upon the By, 
 
 She is not bound to juftifle ; 
 
 . £ % ■ Nor 
 
$6 CANTO I. 
 
 Nor at her proper coft, and charge 
 Maintain the Feats, he does at large. 
 Such hideous Sots, were thofe obedient 
 Old /^ajfals, to their Ladies Regent ; 
 To give the Cheats, the Mdeft hand 
 In Foul Play, by the Laws o'th Land , 
 For which fb many a legal Quckol d 
 Has been rundown in Courts, and truckled. 
 
 A Law thatmoft unjuftly yokes, 
 All j? oh % s of Stiles, to ^oans of Nokes } 
 Without diftinction of degree, 
 Condition, Age, or Quality, 
 Admits no Po\v\ of Revocation y 
 Nor valuable Confederation, 
 Nor Writ of Error, nor Reverfe, 
 Oij^adgement paft^ For better, or rvorfe, 
 
 VV -i 
 
CANTO I. 37 
 
 Will not allow the Priviledges 
 
 That Beggers challenge under Hedges, 
 
 Who when th' are griev'd can make dead Horfes 
 
 Their Spiritual Judges of Divorces ; 
 
 While nothing elfe, but Rem in Re, 
 
 Can fet the prouder! Wretches free. 
 
 A flavery, beyond induring, 
 
 But that 'tis of their own procuring. 
 
 As Spiders never feek the Fly, 
 
 But leave him, of himfelf, t' apply : 
 
 So Men are by themfelves betray'd 
 
 To quit the freedom they injoy'd, 
 
 And runs their Necks into a Noofe, 
 
 They'ld break 'em after, to break loofe. 
 
 As fibme, whom Death would not depart, 
 
 Have done the Feat themfelves, by Art. 
 
 Like Indian IViddows gone to Bed 
 
 In Flaming Curtains, to the Dead, 
 
 C 4 And 
 
3 § CANTO I. 
 
 And Men as often dangled for't, 
 'And yet will never leave the Sport, 
 
 Nor do the Ladies want excufe, 
 
 For all the Stratagems they ufe. 
 
 ,To gain th' advantage of the Set, 
 
 'And lurch the Amorous Rook, and Cheat, 
 
 For as a Pytbagorem Soul y 
 
 Jtuns through all Beafts, and Fifh, and Fowl, 
 
 [And has a frnack of ev'ry one: 
 
 So Love do's, and has ever done. 
 
 And therefore,,though 'tis ere lb fond, 
 
 .Takes ftrangely to the Vagabond. 
 
 •Tis but an Ague that's reverft, 
 
 Whole hot fit takes the Patient firft, 
 
 That after burns with cold as much, 
 
 As Ir'n in Greenland^ does the touch? 
 
 ffe 
 
CANTO I: 59 
 
 Melts in the Furnace of defire, 
 Like Glafs, that's but the Ice of Fire, 
 And when his heat of Fancy's over 
 Becomes as hard, and frail a Lover, 
 For when he's with Love-powder laden, 
 And Prim'd, and Cock'd by Mi^ or Madam, 
 The fmalleft fparkle of an Eye 
 Gives Fire to his Artillery ; 
 And off the loud Oaths go, but while 
 Th' are in the very Act, recoyl : 
 Hence 'tis, fb few dare take their chance 
 Without a fep'rate maintenance, , 
 And Widdows, who have try'd one Lover, 1 
 Truft none again, 'till th' have made over; 
 Or if they do, before they marry, 
 The Foxes weigh the Gooie they carry ,• 
 And e're they venture o're a dream, 
 ■ Know how to fee themfelves, and them, 
 1 . Whence 
 
4 o CANTO I. 
 
 Whence witty'ft Ladies always choofe 
 To undertake the heavyeft Goofe. 
 For now the World is grown fb wary, 
 That few of either Sex dare marry , 
 But rather truft, on tick, £ Amours 
 The Crop and Pile, for Better or Worfe ; 
 A Mode, that is held honourable, 
 As well as French, and fafhionable. 
 For when it falls out for the heft, 
 Where both are incommoded leaft ; 
 In Soul, and Body too, unite, 
 To make up ofie Hermaphrodite ; 
 Still Amorous, and Fond, and Billing, 
 Like Philip and Mary, on a Shilling ; 
 Th' have more Punctilio's, and Capriches 
 Between th' Petticoat, and Breeches, 
 More potulant extravagancies, 
 Than Poets make 'em in Romances. 
 
 Though,. 
 
CANTO I. 4| 
 
 Though, when their Heroes, Ypoufe the Dames , 
 We hear no more of Charms and Flames : 
 For then their late attracts decline 
 And turn as eager, as Priced Wme. 
 And all their Catterwauling tricks 
 In earneft, to as jealous Piques, 
 
 Which th' Ancients wifely fignify'd 
 By th' yellow MantJs of the Bride. 
 For jealoufie is but a kind 
 
 Of Qlapy and Grincam of the mind> 
 
 The Natural effect: of Love, 
 
 As other Flames, and Aches prove ; 
 
 But all the mifchief is, the doubt, 
 
 On whofe account, they firft broke out: 
 
 For though Chwefes go to Bed, 
 
 And lye in, in their Ladies {lead, 
 
 And for the pains they took before, 
 
 Are nurs'dj and pamper'd to do more : 
 
 Our 
 
42 CANTO I. 
 
 Our Green-men do it worfe, when th' hap 
 
 To fall in labour of a Clap , 
 
 Both lay the Child to one another, 
 
 But who's the Father y who the Mother , 
 
 *Tis hard to fay in multitudes. 
 
 Or who imported the French Goods : 
 
 But Health, and Sicknefs,b'ing all one, 
 
 Which both ingag'd before to own ; 
 
 And are not with their Bodies bound, 
 
 To /Vorfhip ,ov\\y when th'art found. 
 
 Both give, and take their equal fhares, 
 
 Of all they fuffer by falfe Wares, : 
 
 A Fate, no Lover can divert 
 
 With all his caution, Wit, and Art, 
 
 For 'tis in vain, to think to guels 
 
 At Women, by appearances , 
 
 i 
 That Paint, and Patch their Imperfections 
 
 Of Inttlkftitd Complexions i 
 
 Ap4 
 
CANTO L 43 
 
 And daub their Tempers o're, with tVafoet, 
 As Artificial, as their Faces ; 
 Wear, under Vizard-Masks, their Talents 
 And Mother fFits, before their Gallants ; 
 Until th' are hampered in the Nooze, 
 Too fart, to dream of breaking loofe. 
 When all the Flaws they itrove to hide 
 Are made unready, with the Bride 
 
 That with her Wedding-clothes undrefTes 
 Her Complaifance, and GentilefTes * 
 Try's all her Arts, to take upon her 
 The Government, from th' eafie owner, 
 Until the Wretch is glad to wave 
 His lawful Right, and turn her Slave ; 
 Finds all his Having, and his Holding, 
 Reduc'd t' Eternal Afoife, and Scolding, 
 The Conjugal Petard, that tears 
 Down all Portcullhes of gar^ 
 
 And 
 
44 CANTO 1 
 
 And makes the Volly of one Tongue, 
 For all their Leathern Shields too ftrong, 
 When only arm'd with Noile, and Nails, 
 The Female Silk-worms ride the Males. 
 Transform 'em into Rams, and Goats, 
 Like Syrens with their charming Notes: 
 Sweet as a Screech-Owl's Serenade, 
 Or thole inchanting murmurs made 
 
 By th' Husband Mandrake^ and the TVifej 
 Both bury'd (like themfelves) alive. 
 
 Quoth he, thefe Reafons are but {brains 
 Of wanton, over-heated Brains, 
 Which Ralliers in their IVit, or Drink^ 
 Do rather wheedle with, than think ? 
 
 Man was not Man, in Paradije y 
 Until he was Created twice , 
 
 And 
 
CANTO I 45 
 
 And had his better half, his Bride, 
 Carv'd from th' Original, his fide. 
 T' amend his Natural defects 
 And perfect his recruited Sex, 
 Inlarge his Breed, at once, and lelfen 
 The Pains and labour of increapng. 
 
 By changing them, for other cares, 
 As by his drfd-up Paps appears. 
 His Body, that ftupendious Frame 
 Of all the World 7#e Anagram, 
 Is of two equal parts compact 
 
 In Shape, and Symmetry, exact. 
 Of which the Left, and Female fide, 
 Is to the Manly Right, a 3ride, 
 Both joyn'd togcher, with fuch Art, 
 That nothing elfe but Death can part : 
 Thofe Heavenly Attracts of yours, your Eyes 
 And Face, that ail the World fiirprize, 
 
 That 
 
4 6 CANTO I. 
 
 That dazJe all that look upon ye, 
 And fcoreh all other Ladies Tawny : 
 Thofe Ravifhing, and charming Graces^ 
 Are all made up, of two Half faces} 
 That in a Maihematkk Line, 
 Like thofe in other Heavens, joyn. 
 Of which if either grew alone 
 Twould fright as much, to look upon : 
 And fb would that fiveet Bud, your Lifo 
 Without the others fellowfhip. 
 Our Nobleft Senfes a£t by Pairs, 
 Two Eyes to fee, to hear, two Ears, 
 Th' Intelligencers of the mind, 
 To wait upon the Soul defign'd, 
 But thofe, that ferve the Body alone, 
 Are fmgle and confin'd to one : 
 The World is but two Parts, that meet, 
 £ad clofe at th' i£quinodial fit ; 
 
 And 
 
CANT 01. 4 7 
 
 And fb are all the works of Nature, 
 Stamped with her fignature on matter : 
 Which all her Creatures, to a Leaf, 
 OrfmalleftBladeof Grafs, receive. 
 All which fufficiently declare 
 How intirely Afarriage is her care, 
 The only method that fhe ufes, 
 In all the wonders fhe produces : 
 And thofe that take their rules from her 
 Can never be deceiv'd, nor err. 
 For what fecures the Civil Life 
 But pawns of Children, and a IVift ? 
 
 That lie, like Ho jl ages, at ftake, 
 To pay for aft, Men undertake ; 
 
 To whom it is as neceifary, 
 
 As to be born, and breath, to marry. 
 
 So Uftiverfal, all Mankind 
 
 In nothing eife, is of one mind : 
 
 J> '■ ' For 
 
4§ CANT 1 
 
 For in what ftupid Age, or Nation, 
 Was Marriage ever out of Fafhion I 
 Unlefs among the Amazons, 
 Or Fefial fryers, and Cloyflefd Nuns, 
 Or Stoichs, who to bar the Freaks, 
 And loofe Exceffes of the Sex ; 
 Prepofrroufly would have all Women, 
 Turn'd up, to all the World, in common : 
 Though Men would find fuch mortal JFen>ds 9 
 In fharing of their public!: Goods, 
 'Twould put them to more charge of Lives, 
 Then th 7 are fupply'd with now, by Wives. 
 Until they Graze, and wear their Cloaths, 
 As Beafts do, of their Native Growths^ 
 For fimple wearing of their Horns, 
 Will not fuffice to ferve their turns. 
 For what can we pretend to inherit, 
 Unlefs the Marriage-deed will bear it I 
 
 CouH 
 
'. CANTO I. 49 
 
 Could claim no Right to Lands, or Rents, 
 But for our Parents fettlements : 
 Had been but younger Sons o'tF £arth, 
 Debar'd it all, but for our Birth. 
 What Honours, or Eftates of Peers 
 Could be prelerv'd but by their Heirs I 
 And what lecurity maintains 
 Their Right, and Title, but the Banes I 
 What Crowns could be Hereditary, 
 If greatefr. Monarch s did not marry ? 
 And with their Qonforts^ confummate 
 Their weightyeft Inter efts of State 
 For all the Amours of Princes, are 
 But Garr amies of Peace, or War. 
 Or what but Marriage has a Charm, 
 The Rage of Empires to difarm ? 
 Make Blood, and Defblation ceafc? 
 And Fire, and Sword, unite in Peace ? 
 
 t> i Wheo 
 
So CANT 1. 
 
 When all their fierce contefts for Forrage, 
 Conclude in Articles of Marriage ? 
 Nor does the Genial Bed provide 
 Lefs, for the interefts of the Bride : 
 Who elfe had riot the lealt pretence 
 T' as much) as Due Benevolence, 
 Could no more Title take upon her 
 To Virtue, Quality, and Honour 
 Then Ladies Errant, unconWd, 
 And Feme-Coverts to all Mankind. 
 All Women would be of one piece, 
 The virtuous Matron, and the Mip. 
 The Nymphs of chafi Diana's Train, 
 The fame with thofe in Lc,vkners4ane ; 
 But for the difference Marriage makes 
 'Twixt /Fives, and Ladies of the Lakes* 
 Befides the joys of Place and Birth, 
 The Sexes Paradife on Earth } 
 
CANTO I. 51 
 
 A priviledge fo facred held 
 
 That none will to their Mothers yield, • 
 
 But rather then not go before, 
 
 Abandon Heaven at the Door. 
 And if the Indulgent Law allows, 
 A greater freedom, to the Spoule ; 
 The reafon is, becaufe the Wife 
 
 Runs greater hazards of her Life. 
 Is trufted with the Form^ and Matter 
 
 Of all Mankind, by careful Mature : 
 Where Man brings nothing, but die Stuff, 
 She frames the wondrous Fabrick of. 
 Who therefore, in a ftrait, may freely 
 Demand the Clergy of her Belly, 
 And make it fave her, the fame way, 
 It leldom mifTes to betray. 
 Unlefs bodi parties wifely enter 
 Into the, Liturgy-Indenture, 
 
 D 3 S And 
 
5 2 CANTO I. 
 
 And though fbme fits of fmall conteft. 
 Sometimes fall out among the Btfi 7 
 That is no more, then jevrtry Lover 
 Does, from his Hackney Lady fuffer. 
 That makes no Breach of Faith, and Love, 
 But rather (fbmetiine) ferves t' improve. 
 For as in running, ev'ry Pjtce 
 Is but between two Legs a Race, 
 In which, both do their uttermoft, 
 To get before, and win the Pofi : 
 Yet when th' are at their races ends, 
 Th' are Hill as kind, ancFconftant friends ; 
 And to relieve their wearinefs, 
 By turns give one another eafe : 
 So all thole falfe Allarms of ftrife, 
 Between the Husband, and the Wife : 
 And litde quarrels, often prove 
 To be but new recruits of Love : 
 
 When 
 
CANTO I. 53 
 
 Whenthofe, wh' are always kind, or coy, 
 In time, muft either Tire, or Cloy. 
 Nor are their ioudeft clamours, more 
 Then as th' are relifh'd, Sweet, or Sour, 
 Like Mufick y that proves bad, or good, 
 According as 'tis underftood. 
 In all Amours, a Lover burns, 
 With Frowns , as well as Smiles by turns, 
 And hearts have been, as oft, with fullen, 
 As charming looks, furprized, and ftollen, 
 Then why Ihould more bewitching clamour, 
 Some Lovers not as much enamour ? 
 For Dilcords make the fweeteft Airs, 
 And Curfes are a kind of Prayers. 
 Too flight Alloys, for all thofe grand. 
 Felicities, by Marriage gain'd. 
 For nothing elfe has Pow'r to fettle 
 Th' interefts of Love, perpetual. 
 
 D 4 An 
 
54 CANTO I. 
 
 An Act and Deed, that makes one Heart, 
 
 Become another's counter-part , 
 
 And pajjes Fines on Faith and Love 
 
 Inrol'd, and Regiftred above, 
 
 To leal the ilippery knot of Vows, 
 
 Which nothing elfe hut Death can lofe : 
 
 And what fecurity's too ftrong, 
 
 To guard that gentle Heart from wrong, 
 
 That to its Friend is glad topafs, 
 
 It felf away, and all it has : 
 
 And, like an Anchorite, gives over 
 
 This World, for th* Heaven of a Lover ? 
 
 I grant (quoth fhe) there are fome few 
 Who take that courfe, and find it true : 
 But Millions, whom the fame does fentence 
 To Heaven, b' another way, repentance. 
 
 Love's 
 
CANT 1- 55 
 
 Love's Arrows are but fhot at Rovers, 
 Though all they hit, they turn to Lovers, 
 And all the weighty confequents 
 Depend upon more blind events 
 Then Gamefters when they play a fet 
 With greater!: cunning at Piquet, 
 Put out with caution, but take in 
 They know not what, unfight-unfeen. 
 For what do Lovers, when th' are fall 
 In one another's Arms imbrac't ; 
 But ftrive, to plunder ; and convey 
 Each other, like a, Prize , away I 
 To change the property of felves, 
 As fucking Children are, by Elves ? 
 And if theyufe their Persons fb, 
 What will they to their Fortunes dot 
 Their Fortunes I the perpetual aims 
 Of all their Extafies, and Flames : 
 
 For 
 
5<S CANTOl. 
 
 For when the Money's on the Book, 
 'An&affwjr IVorldly Goods— but fpoke : 
 (The Formal Livery , and Sea_Jzn, 
 That puts a Lover. in pofleflioii) 
 To that alone the Bridegroom's 1 wedded, 
 ,The Bride a flam, that's fuperfeded 
 ,To that, their Faith is ftill made good, 
 And all the Oaths to lis they vow'd. 
 For when we once refign our Pow'rs, 
 W' have nothing left, we can call ours. 
 Our Money's now become the Mifi % 
 Of all your Lives and Services : 
 And we forfaken, and Pofrpon'd, 
 But Bawds to what before we own'd ; 
 Which as it made y' at firft Gallant us, 
 So now hires others to fupplant us, 
 Until 'tis all turn'd out of doors, 
 (As we had been) for New Jmotirs, 
 
 For 
 
CANTO I. 57 
 
 ■For what did ever Hezreflytt 
 
 By being born to tordfbips, get I 
 
 When the more Ladies fly* is of Manners, 
 
 She's but expos'd to more Treparmers, 
 
 Pays for their Projects, and Defigns, 
 
 And for her own deftruction Fines. 
 
 And does but tempt them, with her Riches^ * 
 
 To ufe her, as the Dev'l does Witches, 
 
 Who takes it for a fpecial Grace, 
 
 To be their Cully for a fpace 
 
 That when the time's expir'd, the Draze Is 
 
 For ever, may become his VafTals. 
 
 So fhe bewitch'd by Rooks and Spirits, 
 
 Betrays her felf, and all fh' inherits 
 
 Is bought and Ibid, like ftollen goods, 
 
 By Pimps j and Match-makers, and Bawds ; 
 
 Until they force her to convey, 
 
 And ileal the Thief himfelf away. 
 
 Thefe 
 
58 CANTO I. 
 
 Thefe arc the Everlafting Fruits 
 
 Of all your paflionate Love-fuits, 
 
 The effe£b of all your Amor out Fancies, 
 
 To Portions, and Inheritances. 
 
 YourLove-fick Raptures, for Fruition 
 
 Of Dowry, jfoynture, and Tuition ; 
 
 To which you make Addrefs, and Courtfhip, 
 
 jfnd with your Bodies, fir'we to JVorfbip : 
 
 That th' Infants Fortunes may partake 
 
 Of Love too, for the Mothers fake. 
 
 For thefe, you play at Purpofs, 
 
 And love your Loves with A*s, and l?s, 
 
 For thefe, at Beafi, and jOhombre, wooe, 
 
 And play for Love, and Money too. 
 
 Strive who fhall be the ableft Man, 
 
 At right Gallanting of a Fan : 
 
 And who the moft Gentilely bred, 
 
 At facking of a Wizard Bead ; • 
 
 How 
 
CANTO I. 59 
 
 How bell t? accoft us, in all Quarters 
 
 T' our qaeftion and-command-ATerv Garters, 
 
 And fblidly difcourfe upon 
 
 All Ibrts of drefles, Pro and Con. 
 
 For there's no Myftery, nor Trade, 
 
 But in the Art of Love is made. 
 
 And when you have more Debts to pay 
 
 Them Michaelmas and Lady-day, 
 
 And no way poflible to do't 
 
 But Love and Oaths, and reftkfiSuit, 
 
 To us y' apply, to pay the Scores 
 
 Of your cully 'd paft Amours : 
 
 A£fc o're your Flames ■, and Darts, again, 
 
 And charge us with your wounds and pain, 
 
 Which other's influences, long fince 
 
 Havecharm'd^^rA^ye/a^, and Shins. 
 
 For which, the Surgeon is unpaid, 
 
 And like to be, without our aid. 
 
 Lord 
 
6o CANTO I. 
 
 Lord ! what an Amorous thing is want, 
 
 How Debts, and Mortgages inchant, 
 
 What Graces muft that Lady have, 
 
 That can from Executions fave ! 
 
 What Charms ! that can reverfe extent $ 
 
 And Null Deer ee, and, Exigent \ 
 
 What Magical Attracts, and Graces 
 
 That can redeem from Scire Facias ? 
 
 From Bonds, and Statutes can difcharge, ; 
 
 And from contempts of Courts inlarge ? 
 
 Thefe are the higheft excellencies 
 
 Of all our true, or falfe pretences ; 
 
 And you would Damn your ielves, and fweaiy 
 
 As much, t' an Ho/left Dowager ; 
 
 Grown Fat, and Purfy, by Retail 
 
 Of Pots of Beer, and Bottled Ale ; 
 
 And find her fitter for your turn, 
 
 For fat i£ wondrous apt to burn. 
 
 Whtf 
 
CANT 1. 
 
 Who at your Flame would fbon take Fire, 
 Relent, and melt to your defire : 
 And, like a Candle in the Socket, 
 DiiTolve her Graces irit' your Poeket. 
 
 By this time, 'twas grown dark, and late, 
 When th' heard a knocking, at the Gate 
 Laid on in haft, with fuch a powder, 
 The blows grew louder, ftill, and louden 
 Which Hudibrasy as if th' had been 
 BeftowM, as freely on his Skin, 
 Expounded by his inward Light, 
 Or rather more Prophetick fright, 
 To be the tFizard, come to fearch, 
 And take him napping, in the lurch. 
 Turn'd pale as. Afhes, or a Clout, 
 But why, or wherefore, is a doubt : 
 
 For 
 
62 CANTO I. 
 
 For Men mil tremble i and turn paler 
 With too much, or too little Falour, 
 His Heart laid on, as if it try'd 
 To force a paffage through his fide, 
 Impatient (as he vow'd) to wait 'em> 
 But in a Fury, to fly at 'em : 
 And therefore beat,^ and laid about, 
 To find a cranny, to creep out. 
 But fhe, who law in what a taking 
 The Knight was, by his Furious Quaking^ 
 Undaunted, cry'd, Courage l Sir Knight , 
 Know Pm refolvd to break no Rite 
 Of Hofpitality, € a Strangef, 
 But to fecure you out of danger, 
 Will here my f elf ft and Sentinel y 
 To guard this Pafl, "*gainft Sidrophel ; 
 Women, yon know, do jeldom fail y 
 To make the fioutefi Men tmn fail ; 
 
 dm 
 
CANT 01: 6j 
 
 And bravely [corn to turn their Backs 
 Upon the defyerafft Attacks, 
 
 At this the Knight grew refolute, 
 As Iron fide jOtHardy-k nnte ; 
 His fortitude began to rally. 
 And out lie cry'd aloud, to Tally : 
 But fhe befbught him, to convey 
 His courage rather out 'oth way, 
 And lodge in Ambufh oil the Floor, 
 Or fortify'd behind a Door, 
 That if the enemy fhould enter 
 He might relieve her in th 5 Adventure: 
 
 Mean while, they knock'd agajnft the door 
 As fierce as at the Gate, before, 
 Which made the Renegado Knight 
 Relapfe agaut t' his former fright ; 
 
 fi H* 
 
6 j, CANTO I. 
 
 He thought it defperate to ftay 
 Till th' Enemy had forc'd his way. 
 But rather poft himfelf, to lerve 
 The Lady, for a frefi Referve, 
 His Duty was not to difpute, 
 But what fh' had order 'd, execute ; 
 Which he refolv'd in haft t* obey, 
 And therefore ftoutly march'd away e 
 And all h' encountred fell upon, 
 Though in th e dark, and alt alone. 
 Till fear, that braver Feats performs, 
 Then ever Courage dar'd in Arms : 
 Had drawn him up, before a Pals, 1 ' 
 Toftand upon his Guard, and Face. 
 This he.couragioufly invaded, 
 And having enter'd Barricado'd : 
 Infconc'd himfelf as formidable, 
 As could be, underneath a Table .; 
 
 Where 
 
C A hi TO I -6 5 
 
 Where he lay down in ambufh clofe, 
 
 T' expe'dt the arrival of his Foes ; 
 
 Few minutes, had he lain pordue, 
 
 To guard his defp'rate Avenue, 
 
 Before he heard a dreadful fhout, 
 
 As loud as putting to the Rout, 
 
 With which impatiently Alarm'd, 
 
 He fancy 'd, th' Enemy had ftorm'd, 
 And after entring Sidrophel 
 Was falFn upon thd Guards pell-mell. 
 He therefore fent out all his fences, 
 To bring him in, Intelligences, 
 Which vulgars out of ignorance, 
 Miftake, for falling in a Trance : 
 But thofe, that Trade in Geomancy, 
 Affirm to be the ftrength of fancy : 
 In which the Lapland-Magi deal 
 /\nd tilings incredible reveal. 
 
 E a Mean 
 
66 CANT 1. 
 
 Mean while, the Foe beat up his Quarters 
 
 And ftorm'd the out-works of his Fortrefs, 
 
 And as another of the lame 
 
 Degree, and Party, in Arms, and Fame, 
 
 That in the fame Caufe, had ingag'd, 
 
 And War with equal conduct wag'd, 
 
 By vent'ring only but to thruft 
 
 His Head, a Span beyond hisPoft : 
 
 B' a Gtnrd of the Cavallkrs ; 
 
 Was drag'd, through a window by th' Ears : 
 
 So he was ferv'd in his Redoubt, 
 
 And by the other end puli'd out. 
 
 Soon as they had him, at their mercy, 
 They put him to the Cudgel fiercely, 
 As if they fcorn'd to Trade and Barter, 
 By giving or by tajking Quarter : 
 
 They 
 
CANTO I. 6 7 
 
 They ftoutly on his Quarters Laid, 
 Until his Scouts came in t'his Aid : 
 For when a Man is pafi his Senfe, 
 There's no way tp Reduce him thence, 
 But twinging him by th' Ears, or Nofe, 
 Or laying on of heavy Blows, 
 And if that will not do the Deed, 
 To burning with Hot Irons proceed. 
 
 No fooner was he come t' himfelf, 
 But on his Neck, a Sturdy Elf 
 Clap'd in a Trice, his Cloven Hoof, 
 And thus attack'd him with Reproo £ 
 Mortal ; Thou art betraid to us, 
 B z 'our Friend, thy evil Genius, 
 Who for thy horrid Perjuries, 
 Thy Breach of Faith, and Turning lyes, 
 
68 CANTO I. 
 
 The Brethrens Priviledge, againjb 
 
 .The IVickel) on themftlves the Saint s, 
 
 Has here thy wretched Qarcafi fent, 
 
 por juji Revenge, and Punishment ; 
 
 tVhich thou haji now, no way to leffeu 
 
 But by an open, free Confeffion, 
 
 JFor if we catch thee failing once, 
 
 ^ Twill fall 'the heavy er on thy Bones* 
 JVhat made thee venture to betray^ 
 
 sdnd filch the Ladies Heart away ? 
 71? Spirit her to Matrimony-- ? 
 That which contracts all Matches, Money. 
 It was th' Inchantment of her Riches, 
 That made m.' apply t 7 your Croney Witches 7 
 That in return, would pay th' expence, 
 The IVear^and-tear of Confidence. 
 Which I could have patchM-up, and turn'd, 
 
 For th' Hundredth-part of what I earn'd. 
 
 Did'fi 
 
CANTO I. 69 
 
 Did 1 ]} thou not love her then ? Sped true. 
 
 No more (quoth he) then Hove you. 
 
 How wouWfi th 7 have us'd her, and her Money ? 
 
 Firft, turn'd her up, to Alimony, 
 
 And laid her Dowry out in Law, 
 
 To null her Joynture with a Flaw, 
 
 Which I before-hand had agreed, 
 
 T' have put, of purpofe, in the Deed. 
 
 And bar her Widows-making-over 
 
 T' a Friend in Trufr, or private Lover, 
 
 PVhat made thee pick and choose her out ? 
 
 T* imploy their Sorceries about ? 
 
 That, which makes Gameiters play with thofe, 
 
 Who have leaft Wit, and moll to lofe. 
 
 But didfl thou fcourge thy fofjel thus 
 
 j4s thou hafi damned thy felf to us f 
 
 I fee, you take me for an Afs, 
 
 'Tis true ! I thought the trick would pafs 
 
 E 4 Upon 
 
7 o CANTO I 
 
 Upon a woman well enough, 
 As 't has been often found by Proof. 
 Whofe Humours are not to be won 
 But when they are Jmpos'd upon : 
 For Love approves of all they do, 
 That ftand for Candidates and woo. 
 TVhy didft thott forge thofefhameftd Lyes, 
 Of Bears and Witches in Difguife I 
 JThat is no more than Authors give 
 The Rabble credit to Believe : 
 A Trick of Following their Leaders, 
 To entertain their Gentle headers. 
 And we have now no other way 
 Of Palling all we do, or fay, 
 Which when 'tis Natural and True, 
 Will be believ'd t>' a very Few. 
 Eefide the danger of offence 
 Xhs Fatal enemy of Senle. 
 
 TVhy 
 
CANTO I. 7 i 
 
 Why didft thou chufe that cur fed Sin 
 
 Hypocrifie, tofetup in ? 
 
 Becaufe it is die Thrivingft Calling 
 
 The only S ts ' Bell that Rings all in. 
 
 In which all Churches are concern'd, 
 
 And is the Eafieft to be learned. 
 
 For no Degrees, unlefs th' Imploy\ 
 
 Can ever gain much or injoy't. 
 
 A Gift, that is not only able 
 
 To Domineer among the Rabbit 
 
 But by the Laws impowrM, to Rout 
 
 And awe the greateft that ftand out. 
 
 Which few hold forth againft, for fear 
 
 Their Hands lhould flip and come too near, 
 
 For no fin elfe among the Saints, 
 
 Is taught fb tenderly againft. 
 
 What made thee break thy Plighted Vows ? 
 
 That which makes others break a Houfe. 
 
 And 
 
?2 CANTO I. 
 
 And hang, and fcorn ye all, before 
 Indure the Plague of being poor. 
 Quoth he, I fee you have more tricks 
 Then all our doting Politicks 
 That are grown old, and out of fafhion; 
 Compared with your new Reformation : 
 That we mufl come to School to you, 
 To learn your more refind, and New. 
 Quoth he, if you will give me leave 
 To tell you, what I now perceive, 
 You'ld find your felf an arrant Choufe 
 If y' were but at a Meeting-Houfe, 
 9 Tis true, quoth he, we n£re come there j 
 Becaufe, w* have let them out by tlP year. 
 Truly, quoth he, you can't imagine 
 What wondrous things they will engage in, 
 That as your Fellow Fiends in Hell, 
 Were Angels all before they fell : 
 
 Sq 
 
CANTO I. 75 
 
 So you are like to be agen, 
 Compar'd with th' Angels of us Men. 
 Quoth he, I am refolv'd to be 
 Thy Scholar, in this My fiery. 
 And therefore firfi defire to know, 
 Some Principles, on which you go ; 
 IVhat makes a. Knave, a Child of God, 
 
 And one of us ? - A Livelyhood, 
 
 What renders beating-out of Brains^ 
 
 And murther Godlwefl ? -Great gains. 
 
 What's tender Confcknce ? ■ 'Tis a Botch^ 
 
 That will not bear the gentleft touch, 
 But breaking out, dhpatches more, 
 Then th' EpidemicaFft Plague-Sore. 
 What makes f encroach upon our Trade> 
 
 And damn all others f To be paid. 
 
 What's Orthodox, and true Believing 
 Again f a Confcknce? A good living. 
 
74 CANTO I. 
 
 What makes Rebelling againfi Kings f 
 A 'Good Old Cauft ? Adminiftrings. 
 What makes all DoUrines Plain and Clear ? 
 About two Hundred Pounds a Year. 
 And that which was proved true before, 
 Prove falfe again t Two Hundred more. 
 What makes the Breaking of all Oaths 
 A Holy Duty ? Food, and Cloaths. 
 What Laws, and Freedom, Perfection P 
 Blng out of Pow'r and Contribution. 
 What makes a Church a Den of Thieves I 
 A Dean, and Chapter, and white Sleeves ? 
 And what would ferve ifthofe were gone, 
 To make it Orthodox ? Our own. 
 What makes Morality a Crime, 
 The mofi Notorious of the Time ? 
 Morality, which both the Saints, 
 'And wicked too, Cry out againjl ? 
 
 'Caufe 
 
CANTO I. 75 
 
 'Caufe Grace and Virtue are within 
 Prohibited Degrees of Kin : 
 And therefore no true Saint allows, 
 They fhould be differed to efpoufe. 
 For Saints can need no Conference 
 That with Morality difpenfe ; 
 As vertue's impious, when 'tis Rooted 
 In Nature onl'and not imputed. 
 But why the wicked fhould do fb, 
 We neither know nor care to do. 
 /that's Liberty ofConfckncej 
 fth Natural and Gzminz Senfe ? 
 'Tis to reftore with more fecurity, 
 Rebellion to its ancient Purity : 
 And Chriitian Liberty Reduce, 
 To th' Elder Practice of xhej^ews. 
 For a large Confcience is all one, 
 And fignifies the fame with none. 
 
 .-^;- 
 
 // 
 
7 6 CANTO I. 
 
 It is enough (quoth he) for once, 
 Jlnd has reprieved thy forfeit bones : 
 JSlick Machiavel had nere a trick, 
 (Though he gave his Name to our Old Nkk) 
 But was below the leaf; of thefe, 
 ThatfafPth JVorld, for Holinef. 
 
 This laid, the Furies, and the Light^ 
 In th' inftant vanifh'd out of fight ; 
 And left him in the dark alone, 
 With ftinks of Brimftone, and his own. 
 
 The Queen of Nighty whole large command 
 Rules all the Sea, and half the Land ; 
 And over moift, and crafcy Brains, 
 In high Spririg-tides, at Midnight, Reigns. 
 
 Was 
 
CANT 1. 77 
 
 as now declining to the Weft, 
 
 ) go to Bed, and take her reft. 
 
 n Httdibras, whole ftubborn blows 
 ly'd his Bones; that foft repofe ; 
 itill expecting worfe, and more, 
 Jtretch'd out at length, up on the Floor: 
 And though he fhut his Eyes as faft, 
 As if h' had been to ileep his laft : 
 Saw all the fliapes, that Fear, or Wizards, 
 Do make the Devil, wear for Vizards. 
 And pricking up his Ears, to heark, 
 If he could hear too, in the dark ; 
 Was firft invaded with a groan, 
 And after, in a feeble Tone, 
 Thefe trembling words. Unhappy Wretch, 
 What haft thou gotten by this Fetch ? 
 Or all thy tricks in this Mew Trade , 
 The Holy Brother-hood oW Blade? 
 
 My 
 
7 8 CANTO I. 
 
 By Santringftillon fome Adventure, 
 
 ^nd Growing to thy Horfe a Cent am e f 
 
 To fluff thy Skin with Swelling Knobs > 
 
 Of Cruel and hard wooded Drubs ? 
 
 Forftilltl? haft had the worft On J tyetj 
 
 j4s well in Conqueft as defeat. 
 
 /Might is the Sabaoth of Mankind 
 
 To reft the Body and the Mind. 
 
 IVhich now thou art denyd to keepj 
 
 sfnd cure thy laboured Corps with Sleep. 
 
 The Knight who heard the words, explairi'd 
 
 As meant to him, this Reprimand 
 
 Becauie the Character did hit 
 
 Point Blank upon his Cafe fb fit 
 
 Believ'd it was fbme Drolling Sprite 
 
 That ftaid upon the Guards that Night, 
 
 And one of thofe fit' had teen and felt 
 
 The Drubs he had fo freely dealt. 
 
 Whetf 
 
CANT 01. 79 
 
 ■) 
 
 When after a fhort pauie and Grone 
 
 The Doleful Spirit thus went on. 
 
 This ^tisfingage with Dogs and Bears, 
 
 Pelmel together by the Ears. 
 
 And after Painful Bangs and Knocks, 
 
 To lye in Limbo in the Stocks : 
 
 And from the Pinacle of Glory, 
 
 Fall Headlong into Purgatory. 
 
 (Thought he, This Devil's full of Malice, 
 
 T ? -it on my late Diiafters Rallies) 
 
 Condemned to JVhifpng but dtclind it± 
 
 By being more Heroick-mwded, 
 
 And at a Riding handkdworfe, 
 
 IVith Treats more Slovenly and coxrfe'. 
 
 Ingagd with Fiends m Stubborn fVars, 
 
 Andhot Diffutes with Conjurers. 
 
 And when th* hadji bravely won the day, 
 
 PFaft fain to fed thy Jelfaway. 
 
 1 (I fee 7 
 
So CANTO I. 
 
 (I fee, thought he, this Shamelefs Elf, 
 
 Would fain ileal me too from my ielf ) 
 
 That impudently dares to own 
 
 What I have fuffer'd for and done. 
 
 j4nd n ow but venturing to betray, 
 
 Hajl met with Vengeance the fame way. 
 
 Thought he, how does the Devil know 
 
 What 'twas that I defign'd to do ? 
 
 His Office of Intelligence 
 
 His Oracles are ceafr long fince : 
 
 And he knows nothing of the Saints, 
 
 But what fbme treacherous Spy acquaints : 
 
 This is fome Pettifogging Fiend, 
 
 Some under door-keepers Friends Friend. 
 
 Thai undertakes to underftand, 
 
 And Juggles at the Second Hand: 
 
 And now would pafs for Spirit Po, . 
 
 And all Mens Dark Concerns foreknow. 
 
 I think 
 
CANTO I 81 
 
 I think I need not fear him for't, 
 Thefe Rallying Devils do no hurt. 
 With that He rouz'd his drooping Heart 
 And haftily cry'd out, I Vh.it art f 
 A ' fVretch (Quoth he) whom want of Grace $ 
 Has brought to this unhappy Place, 
 I do believe thee, Quoth the Knight, 
 Thus far, I'm fare, Th' art in die Right a 
 And knew what 'tis that troubles thee. 
 Better than thou halt gneft of me. 
 Thou art fbme Paultry Black-Guard Sprite 
 Condemn'd to Drudg'ry in the Night, 
 That haft no work to do in th' Houfe, 
 Nor Half -penny to drop in Shooes y 
 Without the Raifing of which Sum* 
 You dare not be fb Troublefome, 
 To Pinch the Slatterns black and blew, 
 For leaving you their Work to do* 
 
 f 3 
 
S3 CANT 1. 
 
 This is your Bufinefs Good Pug Robin, 
 And your Diverfion, dull Dry Bobbing 
 ,T intice Fanaticks in the Dirt, 
 And walh 'em clean in Ditches fort. 
 Of which Conceit you are fb proud, 
 Atev'ry Jeft you laugh aloud. 
 As now you would have done by me, 
 But that I bar'd your Rallery. 
 
 Sir j (Qjioth the Voice) T* are no fitch Sophy, 
 sis Ton would have the fVor Id judge of Te, 
 IfTou dejign to weigh our Talents, 
 ftp Standard of Tour ownfalfe Ballance :. 
 Or think it poffible to know. 
 Us Ghoflsy as well as we do you. 
 Wi) who have been' the. everlafli?ig 
 Companions offet/r Drubs and Bafiing : 
 
 sfnd 
 
CANTO I. 83 
 
 slnd never left yon in Contefi 
 IVith Male or Female, Man or Beafl, 
 But proved as true f ye, and intire 
 In all adventures as your Squire. 
 Quoth he, that may be laid as true, 
 By th' Idleft Pug of all your Crew : 
 For none could have betraid us worle, 
 Than thole Allyes of Gurs and yours. 
 But I have lent him for a Token 
 To your Low Countrey Hogen Mogen, 
 To whole Infernal Shores I hope 
 He ? l fwing like Skippers in a Rope. 
 And if y' have been more juft to me, 
 (As I am apt to think) than he ^ 
 I am afraid it is as true, 
 .What th' Hi-affected fay of you : 
 Y' have fpous/d the Covenant and Caufe 
 By holding up your Qaven Paws 1 
 
 V 3 Sir, 
 
84 CANTO I. 
 
 Sir, Quoth the voice, "*Tis true Igrant f 
 
 PFe wade and took the Covenant. 
 
 But that no more concerns the Caufe 
 
 Than other Perfries do the Laws : 
 
 fVhich when tl? areprovd in open Court: 
 
 IVtar wooden Peccadillo's for V. 
 
 And that's the JReafon Covenanters 
 
 Held up their Hands, like Rogues at Bars. 
 
 I fee, Quoth Hudibras, from whence 
 
 Thefe fcandals of the Saints commence r 
 
 .That are but Natural Eifects 
 
 Of Satans Malice and his SeO:s. 
 
 .Thole Spider Saints, that hang by Threads 
 
 Spun out of th' Entrails of their Heads. 
 
 Sir, Onoth the J^oice, that may as true 
 
 And properly belaid of you : 
 
 IVhofe Talents, may compare with either ^ 
 
 Or both the ether pxt together. 
 
 for 
 
CANTO I. 85 
 
 For all the Independents do, 
 Is only what y on forced them to. 
 Ton who are not content done, 
 With Tricks to put the Devil down : 
 But muft have Armies raised to bach 
 The Gofpel work you undertake. 
 As if Artillery, and Edge Tools, 
 Were th* only Engines to fave Souls. 
 While He, poor Devil, has no Pow'r 
 By Force to Run down and Devour, 
 Has nere a Qlajjls, cannot fentence 
 To Stools, or Poundage of Repentance. 
 Is tyd up only to dejign, 
 T Intice, and Tempt, and Undermine ; 
 In which you all his Arts out-do, 
 And prove your felves his Betters too. 
 Hence' } tis Pofieflions do lefevil 
 Than mere Temptations of the Devil; 
 
 V 4 Which 
 
. I 
 
 5 CANTO I. 
 
 
 Which all the Horridft Actions done. 
 Are chargd in Courts of Law upon ; 
 Becaufe unlefiyou help the Elf> 
 He can do little of himfelf: 
 And therefore where he's befi P off eft, 
 Acts moft aga'wft his Enter eft. 
 Swprifes none, but thpfe y>P- have Priefts, 
 To turn him out, and Exorcifts, 
 Supply y d with Spiritual Provijion, 
 And Magazines of Ammunition : 
 With Croffes, Relicks, Crucifixes, 
 Beads, Pictures, Pofaries and PixeS : 
 The Tools of working out Salvation, 
 By meer Mechanick Operation. 
 With Holy Water, like a Sluce, 
 To overflow all Avenues. 
 But thofe, wlP are utterly unarmed, 
 his Entrance if heftorrnd* 
 
 He 
 
CANTO I. 
 
 He never offers tofurprife, 
 Although hisfalfeji Enemies. 
 But is content to be their Drudge, 
 And on their Errands glad to Trudge. 
 For where are all your Forfeitures, 
 Intruded in ftfe hands but ours ? 
 
 IVho are but^jlors of the Holes, 
 And Dungeons, where you clap up Souls. 
 Like Under-keefers, turn the Keys, 
 T' 'your Mittimus Anathemas : 
 And never Boggle to Refiore 
 The Members you deliver (Pre 
 Upon Demand, with fairer ^ufi ice, 
 Than all your Covenanting Truflees : 
 llnleft to punifh them the worfe. 
 Ton put them in the feculir PovPrs, 
 Audpaf their Souls, asfome demife, 
 The fame EJlate in Mortgage twice. 
 
 JThe» 
 
CANTO I. 
 
 When to a Legal lit legation 
 Ton turn your Excommunication, 
 yfndfor a Groat unpaid, that's dite, 
 Difirain on Soul and Body too. 
 
 Thought He, 'Tis no mean part of Civil* 
 State Prudence, to Cajol the Devil, 
 And not to handle him too Rough, 
 When h' has us in his Cloven Hoof, 
 'Tis true, Quoth He, thatintercourfe 
 Has part between your Friends and ours^ 
 That as you truft us in our way, 
 To raife your Members and to lay : 
 We fend you others of our own, 
 Denounced to hang themfelves, or Drown., 
 Or frighted with our Oratory, 
 To leap down headlong many a ftory. - 
 
 Have 
 
CANTO I. 89 
 
 Have us'd all means to propagate 
 
 Your mighty interefts of State, 
 
 Laid out our Spiritual Gifts, to further 
 
 Your great defigns of Rage and Murther, 
 
 For if the Saints are Nam'd from Blood, 
 
 We onl' have made that Title good, 
 
 And if 't were but in our Power, 
 
 We fhould not Icruple to do more. 
 
 And not be half a Soul behind, 
 
 Of all Diflenters of Mankind. 
 
 Right , Quoth the Voice, ^nd as //'corn 
 
 To be ungrateful in return , 
 
 Of allthofe kind good Offices , 
 
 F 11 free you out of this Diftrefi: 
 
 j4ndfet yon down infafety, where 
 
 It is no time to tell you here. 
 
 The Cock crows and the Morn draws on t 
 
 IVhen )th Decreed Imufi be gone, 
 
 jdnd 
 
90 CANTO I. 
 
 sf/idif J leave you here till Day, 
 BotH find it hard to get away, 
 With that the Spirit grop'd about 
 To find th' Inchanted Hero out. 
 Aud try'd with haft to lift him up, 
 But found his Forlorn Hope, his Croop : 
 Unferviceable with Kicks and Blows, 
 Receiv'd from hardned-hearted Foes : 
 He thought to drag him by the Heels, 
 Like Grefham Carts, with Legs for JVheels. 
 But fear that fboneit cures thole Sores, 
 In danger of Relapfe to worfe ; 
 Came in € aflift him with its Aid, 
 And up his finking VefTel weigh'd. 
 No fboner was he fit to trudge, 
 But both made ready to diflodge : 
 The Spirit hors'd him like a Sack, 
 Upon the Vehicle, bis Back. 
 
 And 
 
CANTO I. 91 
 
 And bore him headlong into th' Hall, 
 
 With fome few Rubs againft the Wall : 
 
 Where finding out the Poftern lock'd 
 
 And th' Jfvtmies as ftrongly block'd, 
 
 H' attack'd the Window, frorm'd the Glafs/ 
 
 And in a Moment gain'd the Pais. 
 
 Through which- he drag'd the worfted Soldiers, 
 
 Fore quarters out by th' Head and Shoulders : 
 
 And cautioufly began to Scout, 
 
 To find their Fellow-Cattle out. 
 
 Nor was it half a Minutes Queft, 
 
 Ere he retrieved the Champions Beafl, 
 
 Ty'd to a Pale inftead of Rack, 
 
 But ne're a Saddle on his Back ; 
 
 Nor Piftols at the Saddle-bow, 
 
 Convey 'd away the Lord knows how. 
 
 He dioughtit was no time to fray, 
 
 And let the Night too fteal away, 
 
 But 
 
9 2 CANTO I. 
 
 But in a trice advanc'd the Knight, 
 Upon the Bare Ridge, Bolt upright, 
 And groping out for Ralpho's Jade^ 
 He found the Saddle too was ftraid : 
 
 And in the place a Lump of Sope, 
 On which he fpeedily leap'd up: 
 And turning to the Gate the Reiri, 
 He Kick'd and CudgePd on amain. 
 While Hudibras with equal haft, 
 On both fides, laid about as fail, 
 And fpur'd as Jockies u(e, to break, 
 Or Padders to fecure a Neck. 
 Where let us leave them for a time, 
 And to their Churches turn our Rhyme : 
 To hold forth their Declining State, 
 Which now come near an Even Rate. 
 
 The 
 
CANTO I 95 
 
 The ARGUMENT of the 
 
 SECOND CANTO of the Third Part, 
 
 The Surds engage m Fierce Contefs, 
 About their Carnal Interefls : 
 To {bare their Sacrilegious Preys, 
 According to their Rates of Grace, 
 Their various frenzies to Reform, 
 PFhen Cromwel left them in a Storm ; 
 Till in th* Ejfigie of Rmnps y the Rabble, 
 Bums all their Grandees of the Cabal. 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 "S He Learned Write, An Infeci Breeze, 
 Is bat a Mungrel Prince of Bees, 
 That Falls, before a Storra, on Cows, 
 And flings the Founders of his Houfe ; 
 From whole Corrupted Flelh, that Breed 
 Of Vermine, did at firir proceed : 
 
9 4 CANTO II. 
 
 So ere the Storm of war broke out 
 Religion fpawn'd a various Rout, 
 Of Petulant Capricious Seels, 
 The Maggots of Corrupted Texts, 
 That firft Run all Religion down, 
 And after every fwarm its own. 
 For as the Per pan Magi once, 
 Upon their Mother s y got their SonSj 
 That were incapable t' injoy, 
 That Empire any other way ; 
 So Presbyter begot the other, 
 Upon die Good Old Caufe his Mother. 
 That bore them like the Devils Dam, 
 
 Whole Son and Hush And are the fame. 
 And yet no Natural Tye of Blood, 
 Nor Int'reft for the common good, 
 Could when' their Profits interfered 
 Get Quarter for each others Beard. 
 
 For 
 
I CANT Oil $ 
 
 For when they thriv'd they never fag'd 
 Bat-only by the ears engag'd : 
 Like Dogs that fharl about a Bone, 
 And play together when th' have nonei 
 As by their trueft Characters 
 Their Conftant Actions plainly appears, 
 
 Rebellion now began for lack 
 Of Zealand Plunder to grow flafckj 
 The Cauft and Covenant to lerTen, 
 And Providence to b' out of Sealbn •* 
 For now there was no more to purchafe 
 O'th' Kings Revenue and the Churches, 
 But all divided, 1 fhar'd, and gone, 
 That us'd to urge the Brethren on. 
 Which fore'd the Stubbornft for the Cau% 
 To erofe the Cudgels to the Laws ; 
 
9 6 CANTO II. 
 
 That what by breaking them, th' had gain'd 
 
 By their Support, might be maintained 
 
 Like Thieves, that id a Hemp-plot lye, 
 
 Secur'd againft the Huon-cry, 
 
 For Presbyter and Independent 9 
 
 Were now turn'd Plaintiff and Defendant : 
 
 Laid out their Apoftolick Functions, 
 
 On Carnal Orders and Injunctions, 
 
 And all their Precious Gifts and Graces, 
 
 On outlawries, and Scire facias. 
 
 At Michaels Term had many a Tryal, 
 
 Worfe than the Drawn and St. Michael : 
 
 o 
 
 Where thoufands fell in fhape of Fees, 
 
 Into the Bottom/ef Abyft. 
 
 For when, like Brethren and Friends, 
 
 They came to fhare their Dividends, 
 
 And ev'ry Partner to Ifcffefs, 
 
 His Church and State Joynt-Purchaces 
 
 In 
 
CANTO II. 97 
 
 In which the Ableft Saint and Beft, 
 Was Nam'd in Truft by all the Reft, 
 To pay their Money, and inftead 
 Of ev'ry Brother pafs the Deed: 
 He {freight converted all his Gifts, 
 To pious Frauds and holy Shifts, 
 And fetled all die others Shares, 
 Upon his outward Man artd's Heirs, 
 Held all they claim'd as Forfeit Land*',' 
 Deliver'd up into his hands,' 
 And paft upon his Confcience, 
 By Pre-wtdil of Providence. 
 Impeacli'd the Reft for Reprobates^' 
 That had no Titles to Eftates ; 
 Bat by their Spiritual Atttaints, 
 Degraded from the Right of Saints. 
 This being reveafd • They now begun 
 With Law and Confcience to : fall on. 
 
9 S CANTOW. 
 
 And laid about as hot and Brain-fick, 
 As th' Utter Barrifier of Swmfwick. 
 Ingag'd with Moriey-bags, as bold 
 As men with Sand-bags did of Old : 
 That brought the Lawyers in more fees. 
 Than aP unianctify'd Truflees : 
 Till he who had no more to {how 
 I'th' Cafe, received the overthrow: 
 Or both fides having had the worft r 
 They Parted as they met at firft. 
 
 Poor Prefoyter was now Reduc'd 
 Secluded, and Cafhier'd,. and Chews'd^ 
 Turn'dout, and Excommunicate, 
 From all Affairs of Church and State, 
 ReformM t' a Reformado Saint, 
 And glad to turn Itinerant, 
 
 To 
 
CANTO II. 
 
 To ftrowl and teach from Town to Town, 
 
 And thofe he had taught up, Teach down, 
 
 And make thofe ufes ferve agen, 
 
 Againft the New-inlightned Men. 
 
 As fit, as when at firft, they were 
 
 Reveal'd againft the Cavalier : 
 
 Damn Jnahapifl, and Fanatick, 
 
 As Pat as Popijb, and PreLtick, 
 
 And with as little variation, 
 
 To ferve for any Se£t i'th' Nation,* 
 
 99 
 
 The good old Caufe, which fome believe 
 
 To be the Dev'l that tempted £ve 9 
 
 With Knowledge, and does ftill invite 
 
 The World to Mifchief with new light. 
 
 Had ftore of Money in Jier Purfe, 
 
 yvhen he took her for bett'r or worfe. 
 
 1 . -P | But 
 
ioo C A NT 11. 
 
 But now was grown Deform'd and Poor, 
 And fit to be turn'd out of Door. 
 
 The Independents whofe firft ftation, 
 
 Was in the Rere of Reformation, 
 
 A Mungrel kind of Church-Dragoons, 
 
 That ferv'd for Horfe and Foot at once : 
 
 And in the Saddle of one Steed, 
 
 The Sarazzn And Chrijlian rid. 
 
 Were Free of ev'ry Spiritual Order, 
 
 To Preach, and Fight, and Pray, zn&Mnrther* 
 
 No fooner got the Start to lurch, 
 
 Both Dilciplines of /Var and Church, 
 
 And Providence enough to Run 
 
 The Chief Commanders of 'em down: 
 
 But carried on the War agamft 
 
 The Common Enemy oth' Saints : 
 
 And 
 
CANTO II. 101 
 
 And in a while, PrevaiPd fb far, 
 To win of them the Game of War ; 
 And be at Liberty once more, 
 T' Attack themfelves as th' had before. 
 
 For now there was no Foe in Arms, 
 T' unite their Factions with Alarms, 
 But all Reduc'd and overcome 
 Except their wor/t, themfelves at home : 
 Wh' had compaft all they Praid and fwore ; 
 And Fought, and Preach'd, and Plunder'd for. 
 Subdu'd the Nation, Church and Sfate, 
 And all things, but their Laws and Hate. 
 Jkit when they came to treat and tranfad, 
 And mare the fpoils of all th' had ranfackt. 
 To Botch up what th' had torn and rent, 
 Religion^ and the Government, 
 
 Q 4 They 
 
iq2 G ANT Q II. 
 
 They met no fooner, but Prepar'd 
 To pull down all the War had fpar'd : 
 Agreed in Nothing, but t' Abolifh, 
 Subvert, £xtirpate, and Demol/fb. 
 For Knaves and Fools being near of Kin, 
 As Dutch-Boors are t' a Sooter-Km^ 
 Both Parties joyn'd to do their befr 3 
 iTo Damn the Publick tntereft. 
 And Hearded only in confults, 
 ( To put by one anothers Bolts: 
 jf outcant the Babylonian Labourers, 
 At all their Dialecls of Jabberers. 
 And tug at bo'th ends of the Saw, 
 To tear down Government and Law;. 
 For as two Cheats that play one Game, 
 Are both defeated of their Aim : 
 So thofe who play a Game of Si ate ; 
 And only Cavil in Debate. 
 
 Although 
 
 o 1 
 
CANT Oil 105 
 
 Although there's nothing loft nor won, 
 The Publick Bufinefs is undone, 
 Which ftill the longer. 'tis in doing, 
 Becomes the furer way toRuine. 
 This when the Royalties perceiv ? d, 
 Who to their Faith as firmly cleav'd : 
 And ownM the Right, they had paid down 
 So Dearly for, The Church and Cronm. 
 
 Th' united Conftanter, and Sided, 
 
 The more, the more their Foes divided. 
 
 For though out-number'd, overthrown, 
 
 And by the Fate of War, Run down : 
 
 Their Duty never was defeated, 
 
 Nor from their Oaths and Faith Retreated s 
 
 For Loyalty ; is ft ill the fame ■, 
 
 Whether it rvm or lofe the Game : 
 
 True as a Dyal to the 8m y 
 
 Although it he not {hind upon. 
 
 But 
 
io 4 CANTOR 
 
 But whenthele Brethren in evil, 
 Their Atlverfarks, and the Devil y 
 Began once more, to fhew them Play, 
 And Hopes, at leaft to have a day, 
 They Rallied in Parades of Woods, 
 And unfrequented Solitudes : 
 Conven ? d at midnight in out-Houfes, 
 jf* Appoint New-i?//&*g Reridtvouz.es, 
 And with a Pertinacy unmatch'd, 
 For new Recruits of Danger watch'd. 
 No fboner was one Blow diverted, 
 But up another Party ftarted 
 And as if Nature too in halt, 
 To furnifh out Supplies as fafr, 
 Before her time had turn'd Deflructions, 
 T' a New and Numerous Production : 
 No fboner thofe were overcome, 
 But up rofe others in their Rooir^ 
 
 That 
 
CANTO II. 105 
 
 That like the Chriftian Faith, increaft 
 The more, the more they were Suppreft. 
 Whom neither Chains nor Tranfportation, 
 Profcription, Sale, nor Confifcatiott, 
 Nor all die defperate events, 
 Of Former try'd Experiments, 
 Nor wounds could terrifie, nor Mangling, 
 To leave off Loyalty and Dangling : 
 Nor Death with all his Bones affright 
 From vent'ring to maintain the Right, 
 From ftaking Life and Fortune down. 
 'Gainft all together for the Crown : 
 But kept the Title of their Caufe, 
 From Forfeiture, like Claims in Laws, 
 And prov'd no Profp'rous Ufurpation 
 Can ever fettle on the Nation .• 
 Until in fpight of Force and Treafbn 
 They put their Loy'lty in PofTcflion, 
 
 And 
 
jo6 CANTO II. 
 
 And by their Conftancy and Faith, 
 Deftroyed the Mighty Men of Gatb, 
 
 Tofs'd in a Furious Hurricane, 
 Did Other give up his Reign ; 
 And was beiievM as well by Saints, 
 As Moral Men and Mifcreants, 
 To Founder in the Stygian Ferry. 
 Until he was retriev'd by Sterry. : 
 Who in a falfe Erroneous Dream, 
 Miftook the New jferufalem : 
 Prophanely, for th' Afochryfhal, 
 Falfe Heaven, at the £nd (ftP Hall: 
 Whither, it was decreed by Fate, 
 His Pretious Relicks to Tranflate, 
 So Romulus was feen before, 
 B* as Orthodox a Senetor. ; 
 
 From 
 
CANTO II. 107 
 
 From whofe Divine Illumination, 
 He Hole the Pagan Revelation. 
 
 Next him, his Sort and Heir Apparent, 
 Succeeded, though a Lame Vicegerent : 
 Who firft, laid by the Parliament, 
 The only Cratch on which he leant, 
 And' then Sunk underneath the State, 
 That Rode him above Horfemans /Veigh, 
 
 And now the Saints began their Reign, 
 For which th' had yearn'd fb long in vain, 
 And felt fuch Bowel-Hankerings, 
 To fee an JEmpirt all of Kings : 
 Deliver'd from tli* oAZgyptian Ave, 
 Of^ujlice, Government, and Law, 
 And free t' erecT: what Spiritual Cantons , 
 Should be reveal'd, Or Gojpd Ham-Towns, 
 
 To- 
 
io8 CANTO II. 
 
 To Edify upon the Ruines 
 O^fohn of Leiden s old out -goings, 
 Who for a Weather-Cock hung up; 
 Upon their Mother Churches Top, 
 Was made a Type by Providence, 
 Of all their Revelations fince : 
 And now fulfill'd by his SuccefTors, 
 Who equally miftook their meafures ; 
 For when they came to fhape the Model j 
 Not one could fit ariothers Noddle. 
 But found their Light and Gifts more wide 
 From Fadging, than th' unfanctified. 
 While ev'ry Individual Brother 
 Strove hand to fift again!! another. 
 And ltill the Maddeft and moll: Crackt, 
 Were found the bufieft to Tranfacl:. 
 For though moft Hands difpatch'd apace, 
 And make light work (the Proverb fays) 
 
 Yet 
 
CANTOR 109 
 
 Yet many different Intellect, 
 Are found t' have contrary Effects: 
 And many Heads t' obftrucl: Intrigues, 
 As floweft. Infects have molt Leggs. 
 
 Some were for letting up a King, 
 But all the reft for no fuch thing, 
 Unlefs King jfefas ; others tamper'd 
 Tot Fleetwood, Defborough, and Lambard, 
 Some for the Rump, and fbme more crafty* 
 For Agitators, and the Safety : 
 Some for the Gofpel, and Maffacres, 
 Of Spiritual Affidavit makers. 
 That fwore to any Humane 'Regence 
 Oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance. 
 Yea though the Ableft (wearing Saint, 
 That vouched the Bulls oth' Covenant. 
 
 OtJiers 
 
no CANTO II. 
 
 Others for Pulling down th' High Places 
 Of Synods? and Provincial GLiffes ; 
 That us'd to make fuch HolHIe Inroads? 
 Upon the Saints, like Bloody Nimrods? 
 Some for Fulfilling Prophecies, 
 And th' Extirpation of th' Exciie ; 
 And fbme againft th' nALgjpitw Bondage? 
 Of Holy-days j and Faying Poundage? 
 Some for the Cutting down of Groves y 
 And Rectifying Bakers Loaves': 
 And fbme for finding out Expedients* 
 Againft the Slav'ry of Obedience ; 
 Some were for Gofpel-Minijltrs? 
 And fbme for Red-Coat Seculars : 
 As Men moft fit t' hold forth the Word, 
 And wield the one, and th* other Sword, 
 Some were for carrying on the Work, 
 Againft the Pope? and fometbe/VL 
 
f CANTO II. in 
 
 Some for engaging to fupprefs, 
 
 The Camifado of Surplices ', 
 
 That Gifts and Difpenfations hinder'd, 
 
 And turn'd to th' Outward Mt.n the Inward; 
 
 More proper for the Cloudy Night, 
 
 Of Popery, than Gojpel Light. 
 
 Others were for Abolifhing/ 
 
 That Tool of Matrimony, a Ring, 
 
 With which th' unfan&ify'd Bridegroom, 
 
 Is marry'd only to a Thumb ; 
 (As wife as Ringing of a Pig, 
 That is to break up ground and Dig) 
 The Bride to nothing but her Will, 
 That Nuls the After marriage ftill. 
 Some were for th' utter Extirpation 
 Of L'wfy-Woolfy in the Nation. 
 And fome againft all Idolizing 
 ( The Croft in Shop-Books i or Baptizing • 
 
 H Others 
 
ii2 CANTO II. 
 
 Others to make all things Recant 
 The Chriftian, or Sir name of Saint. 
 And force all Churches, Streets, and Towns, 
 1 he Holy Title to Renounce ; 
 Some 'gainft a Third Eft ate of Souls, 
 And bringing down the Price of Coals: 
 Some for Abolishing Black-Pudding, 
 And eating nothing with the Blood in i 
 
 To Abrogate them, Roots and Branches, 
 
 While others were for Eating Haunches ; 
 
 Of TVarriors, and now and then, 
 
 The Ftejb of Kings, and Mighty Men - 
 
 And fotne for Breaking of their Bones, 
 
 With Rods of Ir'n, by Secret ones. 
 
 For Thrafhing Mountains, and with Spels, 
 
 For Hallowing Carriers Packs, and Bells. 
 
 Things that the Legend never heard of, 
 
 Bat made the wicked for© afraid of. 
 
 The 
 
CANTO II. u 5 
 
 The Quacks of Government, who fate 
 
 At tli* unregarded Htlm of Stdfc ; 
 
 And underftocd, this wild Confufiori 
 
 Of Fatal Madnefs, and Delufion, 
 
 Mufr. fooner than a Prodigie, 
 
 Portend Deftruclion to be nigh; 
 
 Confider'd timely, how t' withdraw, 
 
 And fave their Wind-pipes from die Law : 
 
 For one Rencounter at the Bar, 
 
 Was worfe than all, th? had fcap'd in War ; 
 
 And therefore met in Confuitation, 
 
 To Cant and Quack upon the Nation : 
 
 Not for the fickly Patients fake, 
 
 Nor what to give, but what to take, 
 
 To feel the Pulfes of their Fees, 
 
 More wife than fumbling Arteries : 
 
 Prolong the Swiff of Life in pain, 
 
 And from the Grave Recover Gain, 
 
 Ha • 'Mong 
 
ii4 CANTOR 
 
 'Mong thefe there was a Politician, 
 
 With more heads than a Be*/I- in Fifion, 
 
 And more Intrigues in ev'ry one, 
 
 Than all the IVhores of Babylon: 
 
 So politick, as if one eye 
 
 Upon the other were a Spy ; 
 
 Tliat to trapan the one to think 
 
 The other Blind, both drove to blink : 
 
 And in his dark Pragmatick Way, 
 
 As Bufie as a Child at Play. 
 
 v K'had feen three Governments Run down, 
 
 And had a Hand in ev'ry one, 
 
 Was for 'em, and againit 'em all, 
 
 But Barb'rous when they came to fall : 
 
 For by Tr&f&nning th' old to Ruine, 
 
 He made his Lit'reft with the New one. 
 
 Plaid true and faithful, though againft 
 
 Hi's Con feience, and was dill advane'd: 
 
 For 
 
CANTO II. 115 
 
 For by the Witch-craft of Rebellion, 
 
 Transform'd t' a feeble State Camdion, 
 
 By giving aim from fide, to fide, 
 
 He never fail'd to fave his Tide, 
 
 But got the ftart of ev'ry State, 
 
 And at a Change, ne're came too late. 
 
 Could turn his Word, and Oath, and Faith , 
 
 As many ways, as in a Lath, 
 
 By turning, wriggle, like a Screw 
 
 Int' higheft Truft, and out, for New ; 
 
 For when h' had happily incur'd 
 
 Inftead of Hemp, to be prefer'd, 
 
 And parr, upon a Government 
 
 He play'd his trick and out he went, 
 
 But being out, and out of hopes, - 
 
 To mount his Ladder (more) of Ropes, 
 
 Would ftrive to raife himfelf,upon 
 
 The publick rujne, ajjd his own ; 
 
 H 3 So 
 
i56 CJNTOU. 
 
 So little did he underffand 
 
 The Defp'rate Feats he took in hand, 
 
 For when h' had got himfelf a Name 
 
 For Fraud, and Tricks ; He fpoyld his Game 
 
 Had forc'd his Neck into a Noofe, 
 
 To fhew his Play, at fail and loofe, 
 
 And when he chanc'd t' efcape, miflook 
 
 For Art, and Subtlety, His Luck, 
 
 So right his Judgment was cut fit, 
 
 And made a Tally to his wit, 
 
 And both together moft Profound 
 
 At Deeds of Dar kncfs under ground : 
 
 As th' Earth is eafieft under min'c) 
 
 By vermine Impotent and Blind. 
 
 By all thele Aits, and many more 
 
 H' had pra£tic'd long and much before, 
 
 Our 
 
CANTO II. 
 
 117 
 
 Our State-Artificer forefaw, 
 
 Which way the World began to draw: 
 
 Fox as Old Sinners have all Poynts 
 
 O'th'Compafs in their Bones and Joynts, 
 
 Can by their Pangs and Aches find 
 
 All Turns and Changes of the wind : 
 
 And better than by Napier s Bones, 
 
 Feel in their own the Age of Moons : 
 
 So guilty Sinners in a State, 
 
 Can by their Crimes Prognofticate 
 
 And in their Conferences feel Pain, < 
 
 Some days before a ShowV of Rain, 
 
 He therefore wifely caft about, 
 
 All ways he could, t ? infitire his Throat ; 
 
 And hither came t' obferve and fmoke 
 
 What Courles other Rifcers took : 
 
 And to the utmofl do his Beft 
 
 To Save himfelf and Hang the Reft. 
 
 H 4 To 
 
n8 CANT Oil. 
 
 To match this Saint, there was another, 
 
 As bulk, and perverfe a Brother, 
 
 An Haberdafher of fmall Wares, 
 
 In Politicks, and State-affairs : 
 
 More Jew then Rabbi *4chitophd y 
 
 And better gifted to Rebel : 
 
 For when h' had taught his Tribe, to Spoufe 
 
 ,The Caufe, aloft, upon one Houfe, 
 
 He fcorn'd to let his own in Order 
 
 But try'd another, and went further, 
 
 Suddenly addicled ft'ill 
 
 To's only principle, His Will: 
 
 That whatfbe're it chanc'd to prove, 
 
 No force of Argument could move : 
 
 Nor Law, nor Cavalcade of Ho burn, 
 
 Could render half a grain lefs ftubbom \ 
 
 
 For 
 
CANTO II. n 9 
 
 For he, at any time would hang, 
 
 For th' opportunity tfffarwgm 
 
 And rather on a Gibbet dangle, 
 
 Then mifs his dear delight, to wrangle, 
 
 In which his Parts were fb accomplifht 
 
 That right, or wrong, he ne/re was non-pluftV 
 
 But ftill his Tongue ran on, the lefs 
 
 Of weight it bore, with greater eafe ;. 
 
 And with it's EverlafKng Clack, 
 
 Set all Mens Ears upon the Rack. 
 
 No fboner could a hint appear, 
 
 But up he ftarted to Piekere, 
 
 And made the irouteft yield to mercy, 
 
 When he engag'd in Qontroyerjki 
 
 Not by the force of carnal realbn, 1 
 
 But indefatigable teazing ; 
 
 With Volleys of Eternal Babble, 
 
 And clamour, more unanfwerable. 
 
 For 
 
i2o CANTO II. 
 
 For though hisTbpiques Frail and Weak, 
 Could nere amount above a Freak : 
 He ftill maintained 'em like his Faults, 
 Againft the Defperat'ft AlTaults ; 
 And back'd their Feeble want of Senfe, 
 With greater Heat and Confidence : 
 As Bones of Hetfors when they differ, 
 The more th' are QtdgePd, grow the Stiffer. 
 Yet when his Profit moderated, 
 The fury of his Heat abated : 
 For nothing but his Intereft, 
 Could lay his Devil of Conteft. 
 
 It was his Choice, or Cbavce, vrOtrfe, 
 T' eipoufe the Caufe, for Better or JVorfe : 
 And with his worldly Goods and wit, 
 And Soul and Body worfhip'd it : 
 
 But 
 
CANT Oil. i2i 
 
 But when he found the fallen Trapes 
 PofTeft with til* Devil \ IVorms and Claps ; 
 The Trojan Mare in Fole with Greeks, 
 Not half fb full o£fadifb Tricks ; 
 Though Squemifh in her outward woman, 
 As loole and Rampant as Dol common : 
 He ftilf refolv'd to mend the matter, 
 T' Adhere, and Cleave the Obftinater : 
 And ftill the skittifher and looter, 
 Her Freaks appear'd,to fit the Clofer: 
 For Fools are Stubborn in their way ? * 
 As Coy »s are hardned by ttf Allay : 
 And obftinacy's ne're fb ftifF, 
 As when 'tis in a wrong Belief. 
 
 Thefetwo, with others, being met 
 And clofe in Conlultation let ; 
 
 After 
 
122 CANTO II. 
 
 After a difcontented paufe 
 And not without fuf&cient caufe, 
 The Oratour we mentWd late, 
 Lefs troubled with the pangs of State : 
 Then with his own impatience, 
 t To give himfelf firft Audience. 
 After he had a while look'd wife, 
 At laft broke filence, and the Ice. 
 
 Quoth he, there's nothing makes me doubt, 
 Our laft Out-goings brought about, 
 More then to fee, the Characters, 
 Of real jPealonjies and Fears, 
 Not feign'd, as once, but fadly horrid, 
 Scor'd upon ev'ry Members Forehead : 
 Who, caufe the Clouds are drawn together, 
 And threaten fudden change of Weather* 
 
 Feel 
 
CANTO II. 123 
 
 Feel Pangs, and Aches, of State-turns, 
 
 And Revolutions in their Corns. 
 
 And fince our workings-out are croft, 
 
 Throw up the Caufe, before 'tis loft. 
 
 Was it to run away, we meant, 
 
 Who taking of the Covenant y 
 
 The lameft Cripples of the Brothers, 
 
 Took Oaths, to run before all others ; 
 
 But in their own fenie only fwore 
 
 To ftrive to run away before ? 
 
 And now would prove, the Words, and Oath, 
 
 Ingage us to renounce them both ? 
 
 'Tis true ! the cauf® is in the lurch, 
 
 Between a right, and Mungrel-Church : 
 
 The Presbytery and Independent, 
 
 That ftickle, which fhall make an end on't. 
 
 As 'twas made out to us, the hft 
 
 JExpedient" — . I mean Margrets F A fi ; 
 
 When 
 
i24 CANT-0 II. 
 
 When Providence had been fuborn'd, 
 
 » 
 
 What anfwer was to be return'd r 
 Elfe why mould Tumults fright us now, 
 We have fb many times gone through ? 
 And underrrand as well to Tame, 
 As when they ferve our turns t' inflame. 
 Have prov'd how inconfiderable 
 Are all Engagements of the Rabble, 
 Whofc Frenzies miift be Reconcil'dj 
 With Drums and Rattles like a Child. 
 But never prov'd fo prosperous, 
 As when they were led on by us : 
 For all our Scouting of Religion^ 
 Began with Tumults and Sedition : 
 When Hurricanes of Fierce Commotion, 
 Became ftrong Motives to Devotion : 
 (As Carnal Sea-men in a Storm, 
 Turn Pious Converts, and Reform.) 
 
 When 
 
CANTO II. 125 
 
 When Rufty weapons with chalk'd Edges, 
 Maintain'd our Feeble Priviledges : 
 And brown Bills, Levied in the City, 
 Made Bills to pais the Grand Committee : 
 When Zeal with Aged Clubs and Gleaves, 
 Gave chafe to Rochets and White Sleeves, 
 And made the Church, and State, and Laws, 
 Submit t' old Iron and the Caufe. 
 And as we thriv'd by Tumults then, 
 So might we better now agen, 
 If we know how as then we did, 
 To ufe them rightly in our need. 
 Tumults, by which the Mutinous, 
 Betray themfelves inftead of us ; 
 The Hollow Hearted Dtfaffetfed, 
 And Clofe Malignant are dete&ed i 
 Who lay their Lives and Fortunes down, 
 For Pledges to fecure our own, 
 
 And 
 
ji6 CANTO II. 
 
 And freely facrifice their Ears, 
 T appeafe our Jealoufies, and Fears; 
 And yet for all thefe Providences, 
 W are offer'd, if we had our fenfes, 
 We idly fit, like itupid Blockheads, 
 Our hands committed to our Pockets. 
 And nothing, but our Tongues, at large, 
 To get the Wretches a difcharge. 
 Like Men condemned to Thunderbolts 
 Who, e're the Blow, became meer Dolts ; 
 Or Fools befbtted with their Crimes, 
 That know not how to fhift betimes. 
 And neither have the hearts to fray, 
 Nor wit enough to run away. 
 Who, if we could refolve on either 
 Might ltand, or fall (at leaft) together; 
 No mean, nor trivial folaces, 
 To Partners, in extreme diflrefs { 
 
 Who 
 
CANT Oil 127 
 
 Who ufeto leCFen their Defpairs ? 
 By parting them int' equal fhares : 
 As if the more there were to bear? 
 They felt the weight the eafier : 
 And ev'ry one the gentler hung, 
 The more, he took his turn among, 
 
 But "'tis not come to that, as yet^ 
 
 If we had Courage left, or wit. 
 Who, when our Fate Can be no worfe, 
 Are fitted for the braved courfe ; 
 Have time to Rally, and Prepare 
 Our laft, and beft defence, Dejpxir^ 
 Dejpair, by which the gallant'ft Feats ? 
 Have been atchievM in greater! {traits ? 
 And horridit dangers fafely wav'd, 
 By b'ing Couragioufly out-brav'd. 
 
 ] As 
 
128 CANTO II. 
 
 As wounds, by wider wounds are heal'd, 
 AndPoyfbns, bythemfelves, expel'd. 
 And fb they might be now agen, 
 If we were, what we fhould he, Men ; 
 And not fb dully defperate, 
 To fide, againft our felves, widi Fate. 
 As Criminals condemn'd to f uffer, 
 Are blinded firft, and then, turn'd over. 
 
 This comes of Breaking Covenants, 
 And letting up Exams of Saints, 
 
 That Fine, like Aldermen, for Grace, 
 To be excus'd the Eflicace ; 
 For Spiritual Men are too Transcendent, 
 That mount their Banks, for Independent. 
 To hang like Mahomet, in tV Jir 7 
 Or St. Ignatius, at his Prayey, 
 
9 
 
 CANTO 11. is 
 
 By Pure Geometry, and hate 
 
 Dependence, upon Churchy or State, 
 
 Difdain die Pedantry oW Letter, 
 
 And fince obedience is better, 
 
 (The Scripture fays) then Sacrifice, 
 
 Prefume the lefs on't, will fuffice. 
 
 And fcorn, to have the moderat'ft flints, 
 
 Prefcrib'd their peremptory Hints ; 
 
 Or any opinion, true or falle, 
 
 Declar'd as fuch, in Doflrwals : 
 
 But left at large to rrfake their beft on, 
 
 Without being call'd to account, or queftion. 
 
 Interpret all the Spleen reveals, 
 As Whittington explain'd the Bells ; 
 And bid themielves, turn back agen 
 Lord Mayors of New-^erurfalem y 
 
 I i But 
 
130 CANT Oil. 
 
 But look fb big, and Over-grown, 
 
 They fcorn their Edifiers t' own. 
 
 Who taught them all their fir inkling Lejfons, 
 
 Their Tones, and fan&ify'd expreilions, 
 
 Beftow'd their Gifts upon a Saint, 
 
 Like Charity, on thofe, that want. 
 
 And learn'd th' Apocryphal Bigots, 
 
 T' infpire theitifelves with Short-hand Notes, 
 
 For which they fcorn, and hate them worfe, 
 
 Than Dogs and Cats do Sowgelders. 
 
 Tor who firiVbred them up to Pray, 
 
 And teach -tire Ho aft of Commons way f 
 
 Where had they all their gifted Phrafes, 
 
 But from our Calamfs and Cafes ? 
 
 Without whole Sprinkling and Sowing, 
 
 \ ho e're .had heard of Ny or Owen ? 
 
 1 iteir difpenfations had been ftifled, 
 
 But for our Monk am Bifield> 
 
 And 
 
CANTO Ii: 131 
 
 And had they not begun the War, 
 
 Th' had ce're been Sainted as they are. 
 
 For Saints in Peace degenerate, 
 
 And dwinled down to Reprobate : 
 
 Their Zeal corrupts like ftanding Water, 
 
 In th' Intervals of war and {laughter : 
 
 Abates the fharpnefs of its Edge, 
 
 Without the Porff of Sacr Hedge : 
 
 And though th' have Tricks to caft their Sins, 
 
 As eafie as Serpents do their Skins, 
 
 That in awhile grow out agen, 
 
 In Peace they turn mere Carnal Men, 
 
 And from the moft Refin'd of Saints, 
 
 As Naturally grow Mifcreants, 
 
 As Barnacles turn Soland-Geefe, 
 
 In th' Ulands of the Or cades. 
 
 Their Difpenfation's but a Ticket, 
 For their conforming to the Wicked, 
 
 I 3 With 
 
i& C J NT Oil 
 
 . — — — — i 
 
 With whom, their greateft difference, 
 
 re in words, and fhew, then fenfe : 
 For a: the Pope, that keeps the Gate 
 Of Heaven, wears three Crowns in ftate ; 
 So he that keeps the Gate of Hell, 
 Proud Qerbertu, wears three Heads, as well. 
 And, if the World has any troth, 
 Some have been Canoniz'd in both. 
 But that which does them greateft harm, 
 Their Spiritual Gizzards are too warm, 
 Which puts the over-heated Sots 
 In Feavers ftill, like other Goats, 
 For though the Whore bends Hereticks, 
 With Flames of Fire, like crooked fticks, 
 Our Schifmaticks fo vaftly differ, 
 Th' hotter th' are, they grow the ftiffer: 
 Still fetting-of, their lpiritual goods, 
 With fierce and pertinatious feuds, 
 
 For 
 
CANT Oil 133 
 
 For Zeal's a dreadful Termagant, 
 That teaches Saints to Tear, and Rant, 
 And Independents, to profefs 
 The Doctrine, of Dependences : 
 Turns meek, and fheaking Secret ones, 
 To Raw-heads fierce, and Bloody Bones : 
 And not content with endlefs quarrels 
 Againft the Wicked, and their Morals ; 
 The Gibellins, for want of Guelfs, 
 
 Divert their rage upon themfelves : 
 For now the War is not between 
 The Brethren, and the Men of fin : 
 But Saint, and Saint, to fpill the Blood, 
 Of one anothers Brotherhood ; 
 W T here neither fide can lay pretence 
 To Liberty of Conference, 
 Or zealous frffring for the Caufe, 
 To gajji one Groats- worth of Applaufe. 
 
 I 4 For 
 
 r 
 
i34 CANT Oil. 
 
 For though endur'd with Refohttion, 
 'Twill ne're amount to Persecution, 
 Shall Precious Saints and Secret ones. 
 Break one anothers outward Bones ? 
 And eat the Flefh of Brethren, 
 Inftead of Kings and Mighty men ? . 
 When Fiends agree among themfelves, 
 Shall they be found the greater Elves ? 
 When BelPs at union with the Dragon, 
 And Baal-Peor Friends with Dagon, 
 When Savage Bears agree with Bears, 
 Shall Secret ones lug Saints by tF Ears £ 
 And not Atone tjieir Fatal wrath, 
 When common Danger threatens both ? 
 Shall Maftives by; the Collars pull'd, 
 Jngag'd with Bulls, let go tlieir hold ? 
 And Saints whofe Necks are pawri'd at ftafce, 
 No notice of the Danger take I 
 
 But 
 
CANT Oil: 155 
 
 But though no Pow'r of Heaven or Hell, 
 
 Can Pacifie Phanatick Zed : 
 
 Who would not guefs there might be hopes, 
 
 The Fear ofGallowfes and Ropes , 
 
 Before their Eyes might Reconcile 
 
 Their Animofities a while ? 
 
 At leaft until th' had a Clear Stage, 
 
 And equal Freedom to Ingage : 
 
 Without the Danger of Surprife, 
 
 By both our common Enemies ? 
 
 This none but we alone could doubt, 
 Who underftand their Workings -out, 
 And know 'em both in Soul and Conscience* 
 Giv'n up t' as. Reprobate a Non-fence, 
 As Spiritual Out-laws whom the Pow'r 
 Of Miracle can ne're Reftorc, 
 
 We 
 
136 CANTO II. 
 
 We whom, at firft, they fet up under, 
 In Revelation only of Plunder, 
 Who fince have had fb many Tryals 
 Of their encroaching Self-deny als y 
 That rook'd upon us with defign 
 ToO Hit - Reform y and Undermine : 
 Took all our Interefts and Commands 
 Perfidioufly, out of our hands, 
 Involv'd us in the Guilt of Blood, 
 Without the Motive-gains allow'd, 
 And made us ferve as Minifltrkl, 
 
 Like younger Sons of Father Belial. 
 
 •c 
 
 And yet for all th' inhumane wrong, 
 Th' had done us, and the Caufe, fb long, 
 We never faiPd, to carry on 
 The work ftill, as we had begun ; 
 
 But 
 
C A NT Oil 137 
 
 But true and faithfully obeyM, 
 And neither Preached them hurt, nor Prafd : 
 Nor troubled them to crop our Ears, 
 Nor hang us like the Cavaliers \ 
 Nor put them to the charge of Gaols, 
 To find us Pillories, and Carts-tails, 
 Or Hangmans Wages, which the State 
 Was forc'd (before them) to be at, 
 That cut like Tallies, to the Stamps 
 Our Bars for keeping trite accounts : 
 And burnt our VefTeJs, like a Ne\v- 
 SeaPd Peck, or Bufhel, for tf'tng true. 
 But hand in hand, like fakhful Brothers/ 
 •Held forth the Caule, againft all others 
 Difdaining equally to yield 
 One Syllable, of what we held : 
 And though we differM now and then, 
 'Bout outward things, and outward Men ; 
 
 Our 
 
138 CANTOR 
 
 Our inward Men and Conflant Frame 
 
 Of Spirit, ftill were near the fame. 
 
 And till they firft began to Cant, 
 
 AndSprinkk down the Covenant ; 
 
 We ne're had G*//in any Place, 
 
 Nor Dream'd of Teaching down Free-grace. 
 
 But joyn'd our Gifts perpetually, 
 
 Againlt the Common Enemy : 
 
 Although 'twas ours and their Opinion, 
 
 Each others Church was but a Rimmon, 
 
 And yet for all this Gojpel Union, 
 
 And outward fhew of Church Communion, 
 
 They'ld ne're admit us to our fhares, 
 
 Of Ruling Church or State Affairs : 
 
 Nor give us leave t' abfolve, orfentence 
 
 T' our own Conditions of Repentance. 
 But fhar'd our Dividend o'th' Crown, 
 We had fb painfully Preached down. 
 • And 
 
CANTO II. 
 
 39 
 
 And forc'd us though againft the Grain, 
 
 T' have Calls to teach it up again. 
 
 For 'twas but Juftice to Reftore 
 
 The Wrongs we had receiv'd before, 
 
 And when 'twas held forth in our way, 
 
 W had been ungrateful not to pay : 
 
 Who for the Right w 1 have done the Nation, 
 
 Have earn'd our Temporal Salvation : 
 
 And put our VefTels in a way, 
 
 Once more to come again in Play ': 
 
 For if the turning of us out, 
 
 Has brought this Providence about. 
 
 And that our only Suffering, 
 
 Is able to bring in the King : 
 
 What would our Actions not have done, 
 
 Had we been furfer'd to go on t 
 
 And therefore may pretend t' a ftiare, 
 
 At leail in Carrying on th' Affair ; 
 
 But 
 
 i 
 
i 4 o CANTO II. 
 
 But whether that be fb, or not, 
 
 W have done enough, to have it thought 
 
 And that's as good, as if w' had don't, 
 
 And eafier paft upon account. 
 
 For if it be but half deny'd, 
 
 'Tis half as good as juftify'd. 
 
 The World is Nat'rally averfe 
 
 To all the truth, it Sees or Hears, 
 
 But fwallows Non-fenfe, and a Lie, 1 
 
 With Greedinefs, and Gluttony ; 
 
 And though it have, the Pique, and long, 
 
 * Tis ftill for fomething in the wrong : 
 
 As Women long, when th' are with Child 
 
 For things extravagant and wild : 
 
 For Meats ridiculous, and fulfbme, 
 
 But feldom, any thing that's wholefome ; 
 
 And like the World, Mens fobbtrnoks, 
 
 Turn round upon their Ears> the Poles ; . 
 
 And 
 
CANTO II. i 4 i 
 
 And what th' are confidently told, 
 By no fenle elfe, can be controuf d. 
 
 And this, perhaps, may prove the means, 
 Once more, to Hedge-in Providence, 
 For as Relapfes make Difeafes 
 More defp'rate then their firft AccefTes, 
 If we but get again in Pow'r, 
 Our work is eafier then before , 
 And we more Ready and £xpert ? 
 Fth' Myftery, to do our Part. 
 We, who did rather undertake 
 The Firfi PVar to create, then make : 
 And when of Nothing 'twas begun, 
 Rais'd Fmds, as ftrange to carry't on ; 
 Trepan'd the State, and fac'd it down, 
 With Plots, and Projects of our own : 
 
 And 
 
142 CANTO II. 
 
 And if we did fiich Feats at firft, 
 What can we now w' ire better vers'd ? 
 Who have a Freer Latitude, 
 
 Then Sinners give themfelves allow'd : 
 
 And therefore likelieft to bring in 
 
 On faireft Terms our Difcipline. 
 
 To which it Was Reveal'd long fincc, 
 
 We were ordain'd by Providence : 
 
 When Three Saints Bars, oar PredeceJJors, 
 
 The Qaufes Primitive Confejfors, 
 
 I?ing Crucified, The Nation flood 
 
 Jn'yifl fo many years of Blood : 
 
 That mdtiflfd by Six, exprefi 
 
 The Perfect Number of the Beafi. 
 
 Ad Proved that we mufl be the Men, 
 
 To bring this work about agen : 
 
 Ad thoft who laid the frfi Foundation 
 
 Qomfleat the thorow Reformation : 
 
 For 
 
CANTiOll 149 
 
 For who have Gifts to carry on,. 
 So great a work but we alone ? 
 WhatChurches have fuch dbk Pajtors ? 
 And Precious," Powerful, Preaching M afters ? 
 
 PofTefr. with abfblute Dominions,. 
 O're Brtthrens Pttrfes, and Opinions ? 
 And trufted with the Double Keys 
 Of Heaven, and their IVare-Houfts : 
 Who when the Caufe is in diflrefs, 
 Can furnifh out what Sums they Pleafe, 
 That Brooding lye in Bankers hands,' 
 To be Difpos'd at their Commands : 
 And daily inereafe and Multiply, 
 IVith Doctrine, Ufe 9 and Ufiiry. 
 Can fetch in Parties (as in War, 
 All other Heads of Cattle are.) 
 From th' Enemy of all Religions, 
 As well as High and Low Conditions,' 
 
 , K And 
 
i 4 4 CANTO II. 
 
 And fhare them from Blew Ribands down, 
 
 To all Blew Akrons in the Town. 
 
 From Ladies hurried in Calleches, 
 
 With Cornets at their Footmens Breeches, 
 
 To Bawds as fat as Mother Nab y 
 
 All Guts and Belly like a Crab. 
 
 Our Party's great, and better ty'd, 
 
 
 
 With Oaths and Trade than any fide .* 
 Has one confiderabl' Improvement, 
 To double Fortifie the Cov'nant : 
 I mean our Covenant to Purchafe 
 Delinquents Titles and the Churches : 
 That Pais in Sale, from Hand to Handy 
 Among our Selves, for Current Land. 
 Arid Rife or Fall, like Indian Actions? 
 According to the Rate of Factions : 
 Our beft Referve for Reformation, 
 When New-outgoings give occafion : 
 
 That 
 
CANTOR 145 
 
 That keeps the Loyns of Brethren Girt, 
 Their Covenant (their Creed) t'aflert: 
 And when th' have Pack'd a Parliament; 
 Will once more try th' Expedient, 
 Who can already Mufter Friends 
 To ferve for Members to our Ends : 
 That Reprefeht no part o'th' Nation ; 
 But Fifotrs Folly Congregation : 
 Are only Tools to our Intrigues, 
 And fit like Geefe, to hatch our Eggs'; 
 Who by their Precedents of Wit, 
 T' OHt-faftj out-loiter and out- fit : 
 Can order Matters under hand. 
 To put all Bus'nefs to a ftand : 
 Lay Publick Bills afide, for Private, 
 And make 'em one another Drive dut 
 Divert the Great and Afecejfary, 
 .With Trifles to conteftarrd vary 
 
 K % And 
 
i4< CANT Oil. 
 
 And make the Nation Reprefent, 
 
 And ferve for us, in Parliament, 
 
 Cut out more work then can be done> 
 
 On Plato's Tear, butfiniih none 
 
 Unlefs it be the Bulls of Lenthall 
 
 Tliat always pail for Fundamental. 
 
 Can fet up Grandee, againft Grandee. 
 
 To fquander Time away, and Bandy. 
 
 Make Lords and Commoners lay fieges 
 
 To one another's Priviledges ; 
 
 And rather then compound the quarrel 
 
 Ingage, to th' inevitable peril, 
 
 Of both their mines ; th' only fcops 
 
 And confolation of our hope • 
 
 Who though we do not play the Game. 
 
 Atfirt as much, by giving aim. 
 
 Can introduce our ancient Arts, 
 
 For Heads of Factions, t' ad their p*m. 
 
 Know 
 
CANTO II. r 47 
 
 Know what a Leading-yoke is Worth, 
 A Seconding^ 2. Third, or Fourth, 
 How much a Cafting-Vote comes to 
 7"^W ftfrw »p Trump, of I, or Afr ; 
 And by adjufting all, at th' end, 
 Share ev'ry one his Dividend, 
 An Art, that fo much ftudy coft 
 And now's in danger to be loft ; 
 Unlefs our ancient Firtuofis, 
 That found it out,ge^ into tW Houfes. 
 Thefe are the Courfes, that we took 
 To carry things, by Hook, or Crook : 
 And pra&ic'd down from Forty four, 
 Until they turn'd us out of Door, 
 Jtefides the Herds of Boutefeus, 
 We let on work, without the Houfe. 
 When ev'ry Knight, and Citizen 
 Kept Legijlatiwe jponmey-men, 
 
 K I To 
 
jiS C A NT on. 
 
 To bring them in Intelligence, 
 Fit "i ail Points of the Rabbles Senfe ; 
 Ancj fill the Lobbys of both Houfes, 
 With Politick Important Buzzes: 
 Set qp Committees of Cabals, 
 To pack deiigns without the Walls: 
 Examine and draw up all News, 
 And fit it to our prefent ufe. 
 Agree upon the Plot oil? Farce*} 
 And every one his Part Rehearfe. 
 Make (Vs of Anfwers, to way-lay 
 What th' other Parties like to fay : 
 What Repartees and [mart Reflections, 
 Shall be return'd to all Objections. 
 And who (hall break the Mafter-jeft, 
 And what, 2nd bow, upon the Reft: 
 Kelp Pamphlets out, mthfafe Editions. 
 Of Proper Slanders and Seditions : 
 
 dnJL 
 
CANTO II. 149 
 
 And Treafonfor a Token fend 9 
 
 By Letter to a Country Friend. 
 
 Difpci le Lampoons, the only wit, ', 
 
 That Men, like Burglary Commit : 
 
 Wit, falter than a P adders Faee, 
 
 That all its owner does^betrays : 
 
 Who therefore dare not truft it, when 
 
 He's in his Calling, to be feen. 
 
 Difperfe the Dung on Barren Earth, 
 
 To bring new Weeds of Difcord forth. 
 
 Be fiire to keep up Congregations 
 
 In Spight of Laws and Proclamations , 
 
 For Chiarlatans can do no good, 
 
 Until th' are Mounted in a Crowd : 
 
 And when th' are Punifh'd ; All the Hurt, 
 
 Is but to fare the better for't : 
 
 As long as ConfeiTors are fure 
 
 Of double Pay for all th' endure : 
 
 K 4 And 
 
IXO 
 
 CANT Oil 
 
 And what they earn in Perfections 
 Are paid t' a Groat in Contribution. 
 Whence fbme Tub-holders -forth have made 
 In Powdring-Tttbs, their richeft Trade ; 
 And while they kept their Shops in Prifbn, 
 Have found their Prices ftrangely rifen. 
 Difciain to own theleaft regret 
 For all the Chriftian Blood, w' have let ; 
 
 'Twil lave our credit 2 and maintain 
 
 Our Title, to do fb again : 
 
 That needs not cofl one Drxm of Strife , 
 
 But Pertinacious Impudence : 
 
 Our constancy t' our Principles 
 
 In time, will wear out all things elfe., 
 
 Like Marble Statues, rub'd to pieces, 
 
 With Gallantry of Pilgrim's kifTes : 
 
 While thole who turn, ana* wind their Oaths, 
 
 Have fwelld, and funk lilje other froths. 
 
 fm 
 
CANT Oil 151 
 
 Prevailed a while : but 'twas not long, 
 Before from JVorld to World they fwung : 
 As they had turn'd from fide, to fide, 
 And as the Changelings lived they died. 
 
 This faid ; the impatient Stattf-Monger 
 Could now contain himfelf no longer, 
 Who had not fpar'd to fhew his Piques, 
 Againft th* Haranguers Politicks ? 
 With fmart remarks of Leering Faces 
 And Annotations of Griwafbes, 
 After h' had miniftred a Dofe 
 Of Smff-MundimgHSy to his Nole : 
 And Powder'd th' infide of his Soul, 
 Inftead of th' outward Jobbernoll : 
 He fhook it, with a fcornful look 
 On th' Adverfary, and thus he fpoke. 
 
 In 
 
152 CANTO II. 
 
 In Dr effing a Calves Head, Although 
 The Tongue and Brains together go, 
 Both keep lb great a diftance here, 
 'Tis ftrange, if ever they come near : 
 For who did ever play his Gambols, 
 With fuch unfufferable Rambles ? 
 ,To make the Bringing in the King, 
 And keeping of him out, One Thing f 
 Which none can do, but thofe who (wore 
 T* as Point-Blank Nonftnfe heretofore : 
 ,That to Defend was to Invade ', 
 And to ^ffaffinate, to Aid-. 
 Unlefs becaufe you drove him out, 
 (And that was never made a Doubt) 
 No Pow'r is able to Reftore 
 And bring him in but on your Score. 
 A Spiritual Doctrine, that Conduces 
 Moft properly, to all your Ufes. 
 
 'Tis 
 
CANT Oil i 53 
 
 T'is true, A Scorpions Oyl is f aid 
 
 To cure the JVounds the Vermine made ; 
 
 And Weapons drejl with Salves y Reflate ; 
 
 And heal the hurts they gave before : 
 
 But whether Presbyterians have 
 
 So much Good Nature as the Salve : 
 
 Or Virtue in them as the Vermine^ 
 
 Thofe who have try'd 'em can Determine. 
 
 Indeed, 'Tis pity you fhould mifs 
 
 Th' Arrears of all your Services, 
 
 And for th' Eternal Obligation, 
 
 Y' have laid upon th' Ungrateful Nation: 
 
 Be us'd s' unconfcionable Hard, 
 
 As not to find a Juft Reward. 
 
 For letting Rapin loofe, and Murdier, 
 
 To Rage juft fo far, hut no further : 
 
 And fetting all the Land on Fire, 
 
 To burn t' a Scantling, but no higher : 
 
 For 
 
i54 CANTO II. 
 
 For ventring to ^jfaffinate, 
 
 And cut the I hroats of Chare h and Stated 
 
 And not be allow'd the fitteft Men, 
 
 To take the charge of both agen. 
 
 Efpecially, that have the Grace, 
 
 Of Self-denying, Gifted Face ; 
 
 Who when your Projects have mifcarry'd, 
 
 Can lay them with undaunted Fore-head, 
 
 On thofe you painfully trepan'd, 
 
 And fprinkled in at fecond hand. 
 
 As we have been to fhare the guilt, 
 
 Of Chriftian Blood devoutly fpilt ; 
 
 For fo our Ignorance was flam'd 
 
 To damn our felves, t' avoid being damn*d : 
 
 Till finding your old Foe, the Hangman, 
 
 Was like to lurch you at Back-gammon; 
 
 And win your Necks, upon the Set, 
 
 As well as Ours, mho did fat Btti 
 
 For 
 
CANTO II. 
 
 For he had drawn your Ears before, 
 (And Nicfc'd 'e#z, on the felf-fame fcore ,) 
 We threw the Box, and Dice away, 
 Before y' had loft us, at foul Play: 
 And brought you down to Rook, and Lye, 
 And Fancy, only on the By. 
 Redeemed your forfeit Jobbernolls, 
 From perching upoa lofty Poles : 
 And refcued all your Outward Traytors 
 From hanging up like Jltgators : 
 Fo£ which ingenioufly y 1 have fhew'd 
 Your Presbyterian gratitude : 
 Would freely have paid us home in kind, 
 And not have been one Roj>e behind. 
 Thofe were your motives, to divide* 
 And fcruple, on the other fide, 
 To turn your zealous Frauds, and Force, 
 To Fits of Conference, andRemorfe. 
 
 55 
 
 To 
 
156 CANTO II. 
 
 t To be convinced they were in vain , 
 
 And face about for New again : 
 
 For Truth no more unveil'd your Eyes^ 
 
 ,*Than Maggots are convinced to plies : 
 
 And therefore all your Lights and Calls, 
 
 Are but Apocryphal and Fals, 
 
 To charge us with the Confequences, 
 
 Of all your Native inferences. 
 
 That to your own Imperious Wills, 
 
 Laid Law and Go [pel Aleck and Heels : 
 
 Corrupted the Old Tejlamentj 
 
 Toferve the New for Precedent: 
 
 7* amend its Errors and Defects, 
 
 JVith Murther And Rebellion Texts i 
 
 Of which there is not any one, 
 
 In all the Book to fow upon : 
 
 And therefore from (your Tribe) the Jews 1 
 
 Held Chriftian Do&rine forth and Uie : 
 
 As 
 
CANT Oil i 75 
 
 As Mahomet (your Chief) began, 
 
 To mix them in the Alchoran : 
 
 Denounc'd, and Pray'd, with Fierce Devotio^ 
 
 slnd bended Elbows on the Cnfhion : 
 
 Stole from th$ Beggars, 411 your Tones, 
 
 And Gifted fortifying Groans .• 
 
 Had Lights where better Eyes were blind, 
 
 As Pigs are faid to fee the Wind : 
 
 FilPd Bedlam with Predestination, 
 
 j4nd Knights-Bridge with Illumination : 
 
 Made Children with your Tones to Run for% 
 
 As bad as Bloody Bones or Lunsford. 
 
 While women great with Child, Mifcarri'cf,- 
 
 For being to Malignants marry'd : 
 
 Transform'd all Wives to Dalilahs, 
 
 Whole Husbands were not For the Caufe i 
 
 And turn 7 d the Men to Ten-HornM Cattle, 
 
 Becaufe they came not out to Battle : 
 
 Made 
 
158 CANTO II. 
 
 Made Taylors Prentices turn Heroes, 
 For fear of being transformed to Merdz, ; 
 And rather forfeit their Indentures 
 Then not efpoufe the Saints Adventures'. 
 
 Could Tranfubflantkt, Met amor phofe; 
 
 And charm whole Herds of Beafts, like Orpheus; 
 
 Inchant thzKings, and Churches Lands y 
 
 7° obey ^ and follow, your Commands : 
 
 And fettle on a New Free-hold ,' 
 
 As Marclty~hi!lh.zd done of Old. — 
 
 Could turn The Covenant, and Tranflate 
 
 The Gofpel) into Spoons, and Plate, 
 
 Expound upon all Merchants Cajbes, 
 
 And open th' Intrkatefi Places : 
 
 Could Catefhife a Money-Box, 
 
 And prove all Powches Orthodox, > 
 
 Until 
 
CANT Oil. 159 
 
 Until the Caufe became a Damon, 
 And Pythias , the wicked Mammon, 
 
 And yet in fpight of all your Charms 
 To conjure Legion up, in Arms, 
 And raifemore Devils in the Rout, : 
 Then e ? re y' were able to call: out : 
 Y' have been reduc'd, and by thofe Fools, 
 Bred up (you fay) in your own Schools^ 
 Who though but gifted at your Feet, 
 Hav^ made it plain ; they have more Wit; 
 By whom you have been fb oft trepan'd, 
 S?nd Held-forth out of all command : 
 Out-Lifted, out-impulsed^ out-done, 
 Ad out-reveaPd, at carryings-on. 
 Of all your Difpenfations fVorrnd 
 Ovt-Providenc'd, and ouf -Reformed, 
 
 . 
 
 MttfeA 
 
i6o CANTO II. 
 
 Ejected out of Church, and State, 
 Ad all things, hut the Peoples hate • 
 s4nd fpirited out of th* enjoyments 
 
 Of precious, edifying employments ; 
 
 By thofe who lodgd their Gifts, and Graces 
 
 Like better Bowlers in your Places 
 
 All which you bore, with Refblution 
 
 ChargM on th' Accompt of Perfecution; 
 
 And though, moil righteoufly oppreft, 
 
 j4g&infi your IVills, Rill Acquieft : 
 
 And never HimPd, and HaPd Sedition, t 
 
 Nor fnuffled 7reafon, nor 'Mijfirifion. 
 
 That is becaufe you never durlt, 
 
 For had you Preactfd, and Prayd your )vorfi : 
 
 Alas, you were no longer able 
 
 To raife your Pojfe of the Rabble : 
 
 One fingle Red-Coat Sentinel \ 
 
 Out-charm'd the Magick of the Spelt, 
 
 • And 
 
CANTO II. tit 
 
 A iid with his Squirt-fire, could difperfe 
 
 Whole Troops, with Chapter rais'd, and Verfe : 
 
 We knew too well thofe tricks of yours 7 
 
 To leave it ever in your powers : 
 
 Or truft our Safeties, or Undoings, 
 
 To your Difpcfwg, of Outgoings ; 
 
 Or to your ordering Providence, 
 
 One Farthings-Worth of Confluence, 
 
 For had you pow'r, to undermine.. 
 Or wit to carry a defign, 
 Or correfpondence, to Trepan, 
 Inveagle, or betray one Man, 
 | There's nothing elfe, that intervenes, 
 And bars your zeal, to ufe the means. 
 And therefore wondrous like, no doubt, 
 To bring in Kings, or keep them out 'i 
 
 it I %t£v6 
 
i6a CANT Oil 
 
 Brave Undertakers to Refiore, 
 
 That could not keep your felves in Pow'r : 
 
 T' advance the Intr eft's of the Crown, 
 
 That wanted Wit to keep your own. 
 
 'Tis true/you have (for fid be loth . 
 To wrong ye) done your Parts, in Both ; 
 To keep him out, and bring him in, 
 As Grace is introduced by Sin, 
 For 'twas your zealous want of fenfe,, 
 j4nd Sanctify* d Impertinence: 
 Your carrying bufinefs in a Huddle 
 That forc'd our Rulers, to New-model, 
 Oblig'd the State to tack about 
 And turn you Root, and Branch, all out 
 To Reformado One, and All> 
 T' your Great Croyfado General : 
 
 Your 
 
CANTOR 163 
 
 Your greedy {Wring to devour 
 Before, 'twas in your Clutches, Pow'r. 
 That fprang the Game you were to fet. 
 Before y' had time to draw the Net : 
 Your fpight to fee tjie Churches Lands 
 Divided into other hands. 
 And all your Sacrilegious ventures 
 Laid out on Tickets, and Debentures ; 
 Your envy to be fprinkled down, 
 By Under Churches, in the Town. 
 And no courfe us'd to ftop their Mouths 
 Nor th' Independents fpreading Growths : 
 All which confider'd, 'tis moft true 
 None bring him in fb much as you. 
 Who have prevaiPd, beyond their Plots, 
 Their Midnight juntos, and feaPd knots. 
 That thrive more by your zealous Piques 
 Then all their own rafh Politicks. 
 
 L 3 An4 
 
j 64 CANT Oil 
 
 Ayd this way you may claim a (hare, 
 
 In carrying (as you brag) TV. affair ■, 
 
 Elie Frogs, and Toads, that croak'd the Jews 
 
 From Pharo, and his Brick-kills- loofe : 
 
 And Flies, and Mange, that fet diem free, 
 
 From Task-Mafters, and ilavery : 
 
 Were likelyer to do the Feat, 
 
 In any indifrent Man's conceit ; 
 
 For who e're heard of Restoration^ 
 
 Until your thorough Reformation, 
 
 That is the Kings y and, Churches Lands 
 
 JVere Seqwftred in? other hands .<* 
 
 For only then, and not before, 
 
 Your eyes were opened to reflore. 
 
 And when the work was carrying on, 
 
 Who croft it, but your felves alone ? 
 
 As by a World of hints, appears, 
 
 AH plain, and extant, as your Ears : 
 
 But 
 
CANT Oil 165 
 
 . — — «. 
 
 But firft- o'th' firft ; The Ifle of Wight 
 Will rife up, if you fhould deny't ; 
 Where Hinderfon, and th* other Maffes 
 Were fent to Cap Texts, and Put Cafes : 
 To pafs for deep, and Learned Scholars, 
 Although but Paltry, Ob-and-Sollers : 
 Asifth'unfeafonable Fools, 
 Had been a Courfing in the Schools ; 
 Until th' had prov'd, The Devil Author 
 O^th 1 Covenant y and the Caufe his Daughter : 
 For when they charg'd him, with the guilt 
 Of all the Blood, that had been fpilt 2 
 They did not mean, He wrought th* effufion } 
 In Perfon, like Sir Pride, and Hughfon : 
 But only thofe, who firft begun 
 
 The Quarrel, were by him fet on. 
 And who could thofe be, but the Saints, 
 Thofe Reformation-Termegants ? 
 
 L 4 Bat 
 
\66 CANT Oil. 
 
 But e're This paft ; the wife Debate 
 
 Spent fb much time it grew too late : 
 
 For Oliver had gotteen ground, 
 
 T° enclofe them, with his Warrfers., round. 
 
 Had brought his Providence about , 
 
 ytnd turned the untimely Sophifls out. 
 
 Nor had the Uxbridge bus^nef lefs 
 
 Of Non-fence in't, and fbttifhnefs, 
 
 When from a Scoundrel Holder forth, 
 
 The Scum, us well as Son o'ttf Earth y 
 
 ,Your Mighty Senators tcok Law 
 
 At his Command, were forc'd C withdraw ; 
 
 And facrifice the Peace o'th' Nation, 
 
 To Doctrine, life, and application. 
 
 So when the Scots, your conftant Crony es, 
 
 TIP Ffyoufrs of your Caufe, and Monies : 
 
 \Vho had fo often, in your Aid, 
 
 §o many ways been foundly paid ; 
 
 Came. 
 
CANT Oil x6j 
 
 C?me in at laft, for better ends, 
 
 To prove themfelves your trufty Friends, 
 
 You bafely left them, and the Church, 
 
 Th' had train'd you up to, in the lurch : 
 
 And fuffer'd your own Tribe of Chrijlians, 
 
 To fad before as true Philijtines. 
 
 This fhews, what Utenfils y' have been ; 
 
 To bring the King's concernments in ; 
 
 Which is fo far from being true, 
 
 That none but He, can bring in you. 
 
 And if he take you into trull, 
 
 Will find you moft exactly juft ; 
 
 Such as will punctually Repay 
 
 IVith double Inter eft y And Betray. 
 
 Not that I think thofe Pantomimes., 
 Who vary Action, with the Times : 
 
 Are 
 
i68 CANTO II. 
 
 Are lefs ingenuous in their Art, 
 Then thofe, who dully Aft one Part, 
 Or thole who turn from Side, to Side, 
 
 More guilty, then the Wind, and Tide. 
 All Countries are a Wife-mans home, 
 And fb are Governments to fbme 
 Who change them for the fame Intrigues, 
 That Statef-Men ufe in breaking Leagues ; 
 While others in Old Faiths, and Troths, 
 Look odd, as Out-of-FaJhiorfd Qloaths ; 
 And Nattier, in an Old Opinion, 
 Then thofe, who never fhift their Linntn, 
 
 For True and Faithful's fure to lofe, 
 Which way fbever, the Game goes : 
 And whether Parties, loofe or win, 
 Is always Nktfd, or elfe hedged in. 
 
 While 
 
CANT Oil 169 
 
 While Pow'r ufurp'd like ftoln delight, 
 Is more bewitching then the right. 
 And when the Times begin to ^Iter, 
 None rile lb high as from the Halter. 
 
 And fb may we, if w' have but fenfe 
 
 To ufe the necefTary means 
 
 And not your ufual Stratagems, 
 
 On one another ', Lights, and Dreams., 
 
 To ftand on terms as pofitive, 
 
 As if we did not take, but give ; 
 
 Set up the Covenant, on Crutches 
 
 'Gainft thole, who have us in their Clutches, 
 
 And dream of pulling Churches down, 
 
 Before w 1 are fure, to prop our own : 
 
 Your conftant Method of Proceeding, 
 
 Without the Camal means of Heeding; 
 
 W 7 ho 
 
170 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 Who 'twixt your Inward fenfe, and Outward, 
 Are worfe, then if y' had none. Accoutred. 
 
 I grant, all courfes are in vain, 
 
 Unlefs we can get in, again : 
 
 The only way that's left us now, 
 
 But all the difficulty's, How ? 
 
 *Tis true ! w' have Money, th' only Pow*r, 
 
 That all Mankind falls down btfore ; 
 
 Money t that like the Swords of Kings, 
 
 Is the laft reafon of all things ; 
 
 And therefote, need not doubt our Play 
 
 Has all advantages, that way 
 
 As long as Men have Faith to Jell, 
 
 And meet with thofe that can Pay well. 
 
 Whofe half-ftarv'd Pride, and Jvarice y 
 
 One Church, and State will not fuffice, 
 
 T' ex< 
 
CANTO II. 171 
 
 T' expofe to Sale ; Befide the Wages, 
 Of ftoring Plagues to after Ages. 
 Nor is our Money lefs our own, 
 Then 'twas, before we laid it down : 
 For 'twil return, and turn t' account, 
 If we are brought in Play upon't : 
 Or but by Cafiing Knaves get in, 
 What pow'r can hinder us to win ? 
 We know the Arts, we us'd before, 
 In Peace and, JVar, and fomething more : 
 And by the unfortunate events, 
 Can mend our next experiments. 
 For when w' are taken into truffc, 
 How eafie, are the wifefi: chouft ? 
 Who fee but th' out-fides of our Feats, 
 And not their fecret Springs and Weights, 
 And while th' are bufie at their £afe> 
 Can carry what defigns, we pleafe ; 
 
 How 
 
ifb CANTO II. 
 
 How eafie Pft to ferve for Agents, 
 To profecate our old Engagements ? 
 To keep the good Old Canje on foot 
 jlnd prefent Power from taking root ? 
 Inflame them both, with falfe Alarms, 
 Of Plots, and Parties, taking Arms : 
 To keep the Nations wounds too wide. 
 For healing up of Side to Side. 
 Profefs the paflionat'ft Concerns, 
 For both their Intereftsby Turns, 
 The only way t' improve our own 
 By dealing faithfully with none. 
 ( As Bowls Run true, by being made 
 Of Purpofe Falfe, and to be fway'd ) 
 For if we Ihould be true to either, 
 T' would turn us out of both together i 
 And therefore have no other means^ 
 To fland upon our wa Defence ; 
 
 But 
 
CANTO II. i 73 
 
 But keeping up our Antient Party 
 In 0gor, Confident, and Hearty : 
 To Reconcile our late Diffenters, 
 Our Brethren, though by other venters. 
 Unite them, and their Different Maggots, 
 As long, and Short Sticks, are in Faggots* 
 And make them Joyn again, as Clole, 
 As when they firft began t' Efpoufe ; 
 Erect them into Separate, 
 New Jewifh Tribes, in Church and State ; 
 To Joyn in Marriage and Commerce '. 
 And only among themfelves, Converfe* 
 And all, that are not of their Mind, 
 Make Enemies to All Mankind 
 Take All Religions in, and Stickle, 
 From Conclave down to Conventicle 
 Agreeing ftiil, or disagreeing, 
 
 According to the Light in Being. 
 
 Some- 
 
i 7 4 CANTO II. 
 
 Sometimes, for Liberty of Conscience 
 And Spiritual Mif-rule^ in one Senfe. 
 But in another quite contrary, 
 As Difpenlations chance to Vary : 
 And ftand for, as the times will bear it; 
 All contradictions of the Spirit : 
 Protect their Tzmiffaries, Impower'd 
 To Preach Sedition, and the IVord, 
 And when th' are hamper'd by the Laws,^ 
 Releafe the Lab'rers for the Caufe, 
 And turn the Perfeeution back, 
 On thofe, that made the firft Attack, 
 
 To keep them equally in awe, 
 From breaking, or maintaining Law ; 
 And when they have their Fits too foony 
 Before the Full-tides of the Moon .- 
 
 Put 
 
tMNtOlt. 175 
 
 Put off their zeal, t' a fitter feafon, 
 
 For fbwingr Faction in, and Treafbn : 
 
 And keep them hooded and their Churches, 
 
 Like Hawks from bating on their Perches. 
 
 That when, the bleffed time fhall come 
 
 Of quitting Baby fori, and JRome y 
 
 They may be ready to reftore 
 
 Their own Fift- Monarchy, once more ; 
 
 Mean while, be better Arm'd .to Fencs 
 
 Againft Revolts of Providence ; 
 
 By watching narrowly, and (happing 
 
 All blind-fides of it, as they happen : 
 
 For if fuccefs could make us Saints,- 
 
 Our Ruine turn d us Mifereants : 
 
 A fcandal that wouleUfall to hard 
 
 Upon AFe\v y and unprepard. 
 
 M Thefe 
 
i 7 6 CANTO II. 
 
 Thefe are the courfes we mufi: run, 
 Spight of our Hearts, or be undone : 
 And not to ftand on Tearms, and Freaks, 
 Before we have fecur'd our Necks. 
 But do our work, as out of fight, 
 As Stars by Day, and Suns by Night : 
 All Licence of the people own, 
 In oppofition, to the Crown. 
 And for the Crown, as fiercely fide, 
 The Head and Body, to divide, 
 The end of all we firft defign'd, 
 And all that yet remains behind : 
 Be fare to (pare no Publick Rapine, 
 On all emergencies, that happen ; 
 For 'tis as eafie to fupplant 
 Authority, as Men in want : 
 
 As 
 
CANTO II. i 77 
 
 As fbme of us, in trufts, have made 
 The one hand, with the other Trade ; 
 Gam'd vaftly, by their foynt-endeavour^ 
 The Right a Thief, the Left Receiver ; 
 And what the one, by tricks Fore-fiaPd < 
 The other, by as fly, Retailed. 
 For Gain has wonderful effects 
 T' improve the Factory of Secl:s i 
 The Rule of Faith in all ProfeflionsV 
 And great Diana of the Ephefians : 
 Whence turning of Religion's made, 
 The means, to Tarn, And wind a Trade. 
 And though fome. change it for the wor% 
 They put themfelves into a Courfe : 
 And draw in ftore of Cuftomers 
 To thrive the better in Commerce 
 For all Religions, flock together, 
 Like Tame, and JVdd-Fowl of a Fether, 
 
 M 2 To 
 
178 CANTOR 
 
 To nab the Itches of their Sects : 
 As Jades do one anothers Necks. 
 Hence 'tis ; Hypocrifie, as well, 
 Will ferve t' improve a Church, as zeal : 
 As Pc iecution, or Promotion, 
 Do equally advance devotion. 
 
 Let Bufinefs like 111 watches, go, 
 
 Some time too fail, fometime too flow, 
 
 For things in order, are put out 
 
 So eafie, £afi it felf> will do' V. 
 
 But when the Feat's defign'd, and meant, 
 
 What Miracle can bar th' event ? 
 
 For 'tis more eafie to betray, 
 
 Then ruine any other way. 
 
 All poflible occafions ftart, 
 
 The weighty'ft matters to divert: 
 
 Obftrutf 
 
I CANTO II. 179 
 
 Obfiruct, Perplex, Diftracfj Int angle , 
 And lay Perpetual Trains to wrangle t 
 But in affairs of lefs import, 
 That neither do us good, nor hurt, 
 And they receive as little by, 
 Out-fawn as much, and out-comply : 
 And leem as fcrupuloufly juft, 
 To bait our Hooks for greater Truft. 
 
 But frill be careful to cry down 
 Jill publick Actions, though our own^ 
 The lead mifcarriage aggravate 
 And charge it all, upon the State : 
 Exprefs the horridft deteftation, 
 And pitty the diftra&ed Nation. 
 Tell ftories , Scandalous, and Falfe, 
 Fth' proper Language of Cabals ; 
 
 M 3 Where 
 
180 CJNTOll 
 
 Where all a fubtle Statef-man fays, 
 
 Is half in. /Vords y and half in Face : 
 
 (As Spaniard talk in Dialogues, 
 
 Of Heads y und Shoulders, JVods, and Shrugs) 
 
 Entruft it under fblemn vows 
 
 Of Mum, and. Silence, and the Rofe 
 
 To be Re-tail'a again in whifpers 
 
 For th' eafie credulous, to difperfe. 
 
 Thus far die Satef-man. When a Shout, 
 Heard at a diftance, put him out, 
 And ftrait another all agaft, 
 Rufli'd in with equal Fear, and Haft : 
 Who ftar'd about, as pale as death, 
 And for a while, as out of Breathy 
 Till having gathered up his Witsj 
 He thus began his Tale by fits. 
 
 That 
 
CANTO II. 181 
 
 That beaftly Rabble, that came down 
 
 From all the Garrets in the Town, 
 
 And Stalls, and Shop-boards in vaft fwarms, 
 
 With new-chalk'd Bills— and rufty Arms, 
 
 To cry the Caufe— -up, heretofore, 
 And Baul the Bifhops out of Door, 
 
 Are now drawn up, — in greater Shoals, 
 
 To Roaft and Broil us on the Coals : 
 
 And all the Grandees — : — of our Members 
 
 Are Carbonading on the Embers ; 
 
 Knights, Citizens, and BurgefTes 
 
 Held-forth by Rumps of Pigs, andGeefe. 
 
 That ferve for Characters— and Badges, 
 
 To reprefent their Perfonages. 
 
 Each Bone-fire is a FiweralPile, 
 
 In which, they Roaft, anci Scorch, and, Broil i 
 
 M 4 And 
 
2 CANT Oil 
 
 And ev'ry Reprefentative 
 
 Have vowM to jRoaft— and Broil alive, 
 
 And 'tis a miracle, we are not 
 
 Already, facrifie'd Incarnate. 
 
 For while we wrangle here, and Jar, 
 
 W' are GrillyM all at Temple-Bar, 
 
 Some, on the Sign-Poll of an Ale-houie, 
 Hang in Effigy, on the Gallows, 
 Made-up of Rags, to perfbnate 
 Refpe&ive Officers of State ; 
 That henceforth, they may Hand reputed, 
 Profcrib'd in Law, and Executed, 
 And while the work is carrying on, 
 Be ready lifted under Dun, 
 That worthy Patriot, once the Bellows, 
 j4nl Tinder-box, of all his Fellows. 
 The a&ivTt Member of the Five, 
 <d$ well as the moft Primitive^ 
 
 Who 
 
CAN-TOIL 183 
 
 Who for his faithful fervice, then ; 
 Is chofen for a Fift agen,. 
 (For fince the State has made a Quint 
 Of Generals, he's lifted in't) 
 This Worthy, as the Worlcl will fay, 
 Is paid in Ipecie, his own way ; 
 For moulded to the Life in Clouts, 
 Th' have pick'd from Dunghils hereabouts ; 
 He's mounted on a Hazel Bavin, 
 A Cropt malignant Baker gave 'em. 
 v And to the largeft Bonefire, riding 
 
 Th' have Roafted Cook already, and Pride-m. 
 
 On whom in Equipage, and State, 
 
 His icare-crow fellow-Members wait, 
 
 And march in order, two and two, 
 
 As at Thanksgivings, th"* m^d to do 
 
 Each in a tatter'd Tali[mane % 
 
 Like Vermine in Effigie (lain. 
 
 But 
 
184 CANTO II. 
 
 But (what's more dreadful then the reft) 
 Thofe Rumps are but the Taylottf Beaft, 
 Set up by Popifh Engineers, 
 As by the Crackers plainly appears : 
 For none y but jfefuits, have a Mijjion, 
 To Preach the Faith with Ammunition ; 
 And propagate the Church with Powder, 
 Their Founder was a blown-up Souldier : 
 Thefe Spiritual Pioneers o'th' IVhores, 
 That have the charge of all her ftores ; 
 Since firft. they failVJ in their Defigns, 
 To take in Heaven, by fringing Mines ; 
 And with unanswerable Barrels 
 Of Gun-powder difpute their quarrels : 
 Now take a courfe more practicable, 
 By laying trains to fire the Rabble, 
 
 And 
 
CANTO II. 185 
 
 And blow us up, in th' open ftreets ; 
 Difguis'd in Rumps, like Sambemtes, 
 More like to ruine, and confound, 
 Then all their Doctrines under-ground, 
 
 Nor have they chofen Rumps amifs ' 
 For Symbols of State-myfteries 
 Though fbme fuppofe, 'twas but to fhew. 
 How much they fcorn'd the Saints, The Few, 
 Who, 'caufe th' are waited to the Stumps 
 Are reprefented beft by Rumps : 
 But Jeluits have deeper reaches 
 In all their Politick Far-fttcbes„ 
 And from their Coptick-Prieft, Kirkerus, 
 Found out this Myftick way to jeer us. 
 
 For as the tJEgypims usd by Bees, 
 T"* expref their /4ntick Ptolomks, 
 
 e-f#d 
 
iB6 CANTO II. 
 
 sfnd by their Stings, the Swords they wort 
 Held-forth Authority and Poiv'r : 
 Becaule thefe fubtile Animals 
 Bear all their Intrefts in their Tails, 
 And when th' are once impair'd in that, 
 Are banifh'd their well order'd State i 
 They thought, all Governments were beft 
 By Hieroglyphick Rumps, exprelt. 
 
 For as in Bodies Natural, 
 The Rump's the Fundament of all, 
 So in a Common-wealth, or Realm, 
 The Government is calPd the Helm, 
 With which, like VelTels under Sail, 
 Th' are tum'd and winded by the Tail, 
 The Tail, which Birds and Fifties freer 
 Their courfes wjth, through Sea and Air 
 
 To 
 
CANTO II. 187 
 
 To whom, the Rudder of the Rump, is 
 
 The fame thing with the Stern, and Company 
 
 This thews, how perfectly, the Rump, 
 
 And Common -wealth in Nature jump ; 
 
 For as a Fly, that goes ^ Bed, 
 
 Refts with his Tail above his Head % 
 
 So in this Mungril State of ours, 
 
 The Rabble are the Supream Powers. 
 
 That Hors'd us on their Backs to fhow us 
 
 A Jadifh trick at laft, and throw us, 
 
 The Learned Rabins of 'the few *, 
 Write there's a Bone, which they call Luez? 
 I'th' Rump of Man, of fiich a virtue, 
 No force in Nature can do hurt to, 
 And therefore, at the laft great Day, 
 All ttf other Members fhall, they fiy, 
 
 Spring 
 
1*38 CANTO II. 
 
 Spring out of this, as from a Seed, 
 All forts of Vegetals proceed, 
 From whence, the Learned Sons of Art 
 Os Sacrum, juftly ftile that part 
 
 Then what can better reprefent, 
 Than this Rump-bone, the Parliament f 
 That after feveral Rude Ejections, 
 And as ProdigiomRefurrcciions, 
 With new Reverfions of nine Lives' 
 Starts up, and like a Cat Revives ? 
 
 But now, alas, th r are all expirM, 
 And TIP Hofue, as well as Members, fir'd 
 Confum'd in Kennels, by the Rout, 
 With which they other Fires put out : 
 Condemn'd t' un-governing diitrefs, 
 And Paultry, Private wretchednefs* 
 
 Worfe 
 
CANTO II. 189 
 
 Worfe than the Devil to Privation, 
 Beyond all hopes of Reftoration ; 
 And parted like the Body, and Soul, 
 From all Dominion, and Controul. 
 
 We, who could lately, with a look, 
 JEnatf, Eftablijh, or Revoke ; 
 Whofe Arbitrary Nods gave Law, 
 And frowns kept multitudes in awe ; 
 Before the bluffer of whofe huff, 
 All Hats, as in a Storm flew off. 
 Ador'd and bow'd to, by the Great, 
 Down to the Foot-man, and valet. 
 
 Had more bent knees, then Chappel-Mats, 
 And Prayers , then the Crowns of Hats. 
 Shall now be fcorn'd as wretchedly, 
 For Rum£s ytft as low, as high, 
 
 Which 
 
190 CANTO II. 
 
 Which might be fuffer'd, were it all 
 The honour, that attends our fall : 
 Forfbme of us, have (cores more large, 
 Then Heads and Quarters can difcharge. 
 And others who by Refllefi '{craping 
 With Publick frauds, and Private Rapine, 
 Have mighty heaps of Wealth amafs't 
 
 Would gladly lay down all, at laft. 
 And to be but undone, Entail 
 Their VefTels on perpetual Jayl, 
 And blefs the Devil to let them Farms 
 Of forfeit Souls, on no worfe terms. 
 
 This faid, A near and louder {bout 
 Put all th' AlTembly to the Rout, 
 Who now begun € out-run their fear, 
 As Horfes do, from thole they bear ' 
 
 But 
 
CANTO II. i 9 i 
 
 But crouded on, with fo much haft, 
 
 Until th' had blocked the pafTage faftj 
 
 And Barricadoed it with Haunches^ 
 
 Of outward Men, and Bulks, and Paunches : 
 
 That with their Shoulders, ftrove to fqueeze, ! 
 
 And rather fa ve a Crimed piece; 
 
 Of all their cmftfd, and broken Members, 
 
 Then have them Grillied on the Embers t 
 
 Still prefling-on, with heavy packs, 
 
 Of one another, on their Backs, 
 
 The Van-guard could no longer bear 
 
 The charges, of the Forlorn-Rere, 
 
 But bom down head -long by the Routj 
 
 Were trampled forely under-foot. 
 
 Yet nothing prov'd fo formidable, 
 
 As the horrid Cookery of the Rabble : 
 
 «fear that keeps ail feeling out; l 
 
 W fee- 
 
i 9 2 CAN TOll 
 
 Relieved 'em with a frefh fiipply 
 Of rallied Force, enough to fly ; 
 And beat a Tujcan running Horfe f 
 Whofe Jocky-Rider is all Spurs. 
 
 HUDIBRAS 
 
 
HUD I BRAS, 
 
 The Third and laft Part. 
 
 The ARGUMENT. 
 
 The [Ought and Squires Prodigious flighty 
 To quit th' Inch anted Boxtfr, by Nighty 
 He plods to turn his amorous Suit y 
 T a Plea in Taw, and 'prof esute : 
 Repairs to Counfel, to advife 
 ''Bout managing the Tnterprife, 
 But fir fi refolves to try by Tetter, 
 j4nd once more, fair Addrefi, to get her, 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 I ▼ jt THo would believe, what ftrange Bug-bears 
 
 V V Mankind creates it felf, of Fears ? 
 That fpring like Fern, that Infefr-weed 
 Equivoeally, without iked; 
 
 N i And 
 
i94 CANTO III. 
 
 And have no pofftble Foundation, 
 But merely in th' Imagination i 
 And yet can do more Dreadful Feats> 
 Than Hags with all their Imps and Teats : 
 Make more bewitch and haunt themfelve .. 
 Than all their Nurferies of Elves. 
 For fear do's things fo like a Witch, 
 'Tis hard t' unriddle which is which •.- 
 Sets up communities of Senfes. 
 
 To chop and change Intelligences, 
 As Rofi-cntfian f^trtuofifs, 
 Can fee with Eof s 9 and hear with No[ts ; 
 And when they neither fee nor hear, 
 Have more than Both fupply'd by Fear. 
 That makes 'em in the darkle f^ijions, 
 And hag themfelves with apparitions : 
 And when their eyes difcover leaft, 
 Difcern the fubtleft Objects beft. 
 
 Do 
 
CANTO 111 195 
 
 Do things not contrary alone 
 
 To th' courfe of Nature but its own s 
 
 The courage of the Braveft Daunt 
 
 And turn Pultroons as valiant ; 
 
 For men as Refolute appear, 
 
 JVith too much as too little Fear : 
 
 And when th' are out of hopes of Flying, 
 
 Will run away from death by dying : 
 
 Or turn again to ftand it out, 
 
 And thofe they fled like Lions, Rout. 
 
 This Hudibras had proved too true, 
 
 Who by the Furies left Perdue. 
 
 And haunted with Detachments, lent 
 
 From Marshal-Legions Regiment, 
 
 Was by a Fiend, as Counterfeit, 
 
 Reliev'd and Refcu'd with a Cheat : 
 
 When nothing but himfelf and fear 
 
 Was both the Imps and Conjurer : 
 
 S 3 ' As 
 
j 9 6 CANTO III. 
 
 As by the Rules o'th' F"muofi, 
 It follows in due Form of Poefie. 
 
 Difguis'd in all the Masks of Night, 
 We left our Champion on his flight : 
 At Blind, Mans Buff y to grope his way, 
 In equal fear, of Night and Day : 
 
 Who took his dark and defp'rate courfe 
 He knew no better than his Horfe, 
 And by an unknown Devil led, 
 f He knew as little whither J fled. 
 He never was in greater need, 
 Nor lefs capacity of Speed : 
 Difabled both in Man and Beaftj, 
 To fly, and run away, hi* kft, 
 To keep the Enemy, and fear, 
 From equal falling on his Rere. 
 
 And 
 
CANTO III 197 
 
 And though with kicks, and bangs, he pty'd 
 
 The further, and the nearer fide, 
 
 (As Stamen ride with all their force, 
 
 And Tug as if they Rowed the Horfe, 
 
 And when the Hackney Sails moft fwift, 
 
 Believe they lag, or run a drift) 
 
 So though he polled e're fo fait, 
 
 His fear was greater then his haft : 
 
 For fear, though fleeter then the Wind, 
 
 Believes 'tis always left behind. 
 
 But when the Morn began to appear, 
 
 And fhift t* another Scene his fear; 
 
 He found his new officious fhade. 
 
 That came fb timely to his Aid : 
 
 And fore'd him from the Foe t' efcape, 
 
 Had turn'd it felf, to Ratyhoh Jbape. 
 
 So like in Per/on, Garb, and Pitch, 
 
 'Twashardt' interpret which was which, 
 
 N 4 For 
 
i 9 8 CANTO III 
 
 For Ralpho bad no (boner told 
 The Lady all he had t' unfold, 
 But fhe convoyM him out of fight, 
 To entertain the Approaching Knight. 
 And while he gave l^imfelf Diverfion, 
 T' accommodate his Beafi and Per [on,, 
 And put his Bta> d into a pofture. 
 At beft advantage to accoft her, 
 She order'dth' Jntimafyierade, 
 (For his Reception) afortfaid, 
 But when the Ceremony was done, 
 The Liqhs^atouty and furies gone , 
 And Hudibras among the Reft, 
 Convcy'd away as Ralph guelt, 
 The wretched Caitiff all alone, 
 (As he bdiev'd) began to moan, 
 
 And 
 
CANTO III 199 
 
 And tell his Story to himfelf, 
 The Knight miftook him for an Elf. 
 And did fb ftilltill he began, 
 To fcruple at Ralphs outward man* 
 And thought becaule they oft agreed, 
 T' appear in one anothersftead, 
 And aQ: the Saints and Devils part, 
 With undiftinguifhable Art. 
 They might have done fb now perhaps, 
 And put on one anothers Shapes ? 
 And therefore to refblve the doubt, 
 He ftar'd upon him and cry'd out. 
 What art ? My Squire or that bold Sprite, 
 That took his Place and Shape to Night .<* 
 Some Bufie Independent Pug 7 
 Retainer to his Synagogue I 
 
 yflas 
 
2oo CANTO III. 
 
 Alas, quoth he, fm none of thof, 
 
 Tour Bofom Friends, as you fuppofe, 
 
 But Ralph himfelf, your trufiy Squire, 
 
 JVl? has drag'd your Dun-(hip out o^th* Mire, 
 
 And from the Inchantments of a Widow 
 
 MV had turned you int* a Beafi, have freed you. 
 
 And though a Prifoner of War, 
 
 Have brdught you fafe, where now you are. 
 
 Which you would gratefully Re-pay, 
 
 Tour conftavt Presbyterian way. 
 
 That* s ftranger fquoth the Knight) and Jlr anger, 
 
 Who gave thee notice of my danger ? 
 
 Quoth he, TV Infernal Conjurer 
 
 Purfud, and took me Prifoner, 
 
 And knowing you were here about, 
 
 Brought me along, to find you out 
 
 Where I in hugger-mugger hid, 
 
 Have noted all they faid and did ; 
 
 And 
 
CANTO III. 201 
 
 And, though they lay to him, the Pageant ? 
 I did not fee him, nor his Agent, 
 Who plaid their Sorceries out of fight 
 T* avoid a fiercer, fee ond Fight. 
 
 But didft thou fee no Devils then ? 
 Not one (quoth he) but carnal Men. 
 A little worfe then Fiends in Hell 
 And that {he-Devil tfezabel, 
 That Laughed, and Tee-he* d with derifio# f 
 To fee them take your Depofition. 
 What then (quoth Hudibras) was he, 
 That plaid the Dev'l to examine me I 
 A Rallying JVeaver, in the Town, 
 That did it in a Parfons Gown, 
 IVhom all the Parifb takes for gifted, 
 But for my part I nfre believed it. 
 
 In 
 
202 CANTO III. 
 
 In which y on told them all your Feats, 
 
 Tour Confciencious Frauds and Cheats, 
 
 Deny 'd your whipping and confefl 
 
 The naked truth of all the reft, 
 
 Afore -plainly than the Reverend writer 
 
 That to our Churches veiPdhis Miter. 
 
 y4U which they took in Black and IVhite, 
 
 s4nd cudgePd me to under-write. 
 
 What made thee, when they all were gone 
 
 And none, but thou, and I alone, 
 
 To A£t the Devil, and forbear 
 
 To rid me, of my hell/jb Fear ? 
 
 Quoth he, / knew your confi ant Rate 
 
 j4nd Frame of Spirit e, too obfiinate, 
 
 To be, by me prev.iy?d vpon, 
 
 With any motives, of my own: 
 
 <dnd therefore fir ove to Counter ft, 
 
 7 he Dtv 7 awhile, to Nick your wit. 
 
 Tfc 
 
CANTO III. 205 
 
 The Devil, that is your confiant Crony \ 
 That only can prevail upon ye 7 
 £lfe we ?night fill have been diluting, 
 And they with weighty drubs confuting. 
 
 The Knight who now began to find 
 
 Th' had left the Enemy behind ; 
 
 And law no farther harm remain. 
 
 But feeble wearinefs and pain ; 
 
 Perceiv'd by lofing of their way, 
 
 Th' had gain'd th' Advantage of the Day, 
 
 And by declining of the Rode. 
 
 They had by chance their Here made good. 
 
 He ventured to difmifs his Fear, 
 
 That parting's wont to Rant and Tear, 
 
 And gives the defperat'ft Attack, 
 To danger frill behind its Back. 
 
 For 
 
204 CANTO III. 
 
 For having pawsM to recollect, 
 
 And on his pari: fuccefs reflect* 
 
 T' examine and confider why, 
 
 And whence, and how, he came to fly, 
 
 And when no Devi had appeared, 
 
 What elfe, it could be faid, he fear'd ? 
 
 It put him in fo fierce a Rage, 
 
 He once refblv'd tore-ingage, 
 
 Toft like a Foot-ball back again, 
 
 With /barney and vengeance , and difdain * 
 
 Quoth he, It was thy Coward/ft, 
 That made me from this Leaguer rife ; 
 Slnd when I had half-reduced the p/ace^ 
 To quit it infamoufly hafe. 
 PVas better covered, by thy New- 
 s4rriv*d Detachment then I knew ; 
 
 >^ 
 
 z? 
 
CANTO III 205 
 
 To flight my new-Acquefts, and run 
 Vii~loriou(ly,from BattUs won. 
 And reckoning all I gained or loft y 
 To fell them cheaper then they cofl. 
 To make me put my felf to flight : 
 And Conquering) run away, by N'ight. 
 To drag me out, which th haughty Foe, 
 Durjl never have prejurrtd to do. 
 To mount me in the dark, by force, 
 Upon the bare Ridge of my Horfe. 
 Exposed in Querpo to their Rage, 
 Without my Arms, and Fquipage^ 
 Left if they ventured to purjue, 
 /might the unequal Fight renew. 
 And, to preferve thy outward Man, 
 Affum'd my Place, and led the Fan* 
 
 M 
 
2o6 CANTO III 
 
 All this, quoth Ralph, / did, ''tis true; 
 Not to preferve my [elf, but you: 
 Tou> who were damned to bafer drubs; 
 Then fVretches fiel in Powdering Tubs 
 To mount two wheel? d Carroches y worfe 
 Then managing a wooden Horfe t 
 Dra£dout through fir ait er Holes, bj tP Earsj 
 'Erased, or Coufd, for Perjurers. 
 Who though the: Attempt had proved in vain- 
 Had had no reajon to complain. 
 But ftnct it profper' *d "'tis iwhandfcme 
 
 To blame the hand that paid your Ranjome. 
 And rescued your obnoxious Bones, 
 From unavoidable Batoons. 
 The Enemy was Re-infor?d, 
 A??dwe di fabled, and unhorsed : 
 
 Difarm'd, 
 
CANTO III 207 
 
 ** ** ' I ■ ' 
 
 t)ifarnid, unqualified for Jight 
 ^4nd no way /eft, but hafty flight. 
 IVhich, though &s defter ate in th J attempt j 
 Has givn you freedom to condemn V, 
 
 But were our Bones in ft condition, 
 To re-inforce the Expedition. 
 *Tis now unfeafonable, and wain, 
 To think of falling on, again : 
 No Martial project to fur prize, 
 Can ever he attempted twice, 
 Nor cajl defign ferve afterwards, 
 <ds Gameflers tear their loofmg Cards. 
 Be fide, our hangs of Man, andBeafl^ 
 j4re fit for nothing now but reft. 
 Jlnd for a while will not be abU 
 To tally * and prove ferviceable. 
 
208 CJNTOlll 
 
 And therefore I with reajon choje 
 
 This Jlratagem, t* amufe our Foes. 
 
 To make an honourable Retreat ; 
 
 And wave a total Jure defeat : 
 
 For thofe that fly, may fight again, 
 
 fVhich he can never do thafs flain. 
 
 Hence timely Runnings no mean fart 
 
 Of conduct, in the Martial Art. 
 
 By which fome glorioM* Feats atchieve 7 
 
 As Citizens, by breaking, thrive. 
 
 And Cannons conquer Armies, while 
 
 They ftem to draw-off, and re coy I. 
 
 Is held the gallantefl courfe, and bravef f 
 
 To great exploits, as well as fafefi : 
 
 That /pares the expence of time, and pains, 
 
 And dangerous beating out of Brains, 
 
 And in the end prevails ; at ceruin 
 
 As thofa that never trnfi to fortiwt. 
 
 But 
 
CANTO lit. 209 
 
 $ut make their Fear do execution') 
 
 Beyond the ftouteft Refolution, 
 
 j4s Farth-quakes kill, without a blow I 
 
 j4nd only trembling overthrow. 
 
 If th* Ancients crown A their braveft Men 7 
 
 That only fav*d, a Citizen^ 
 
 lYhat Victory could ere be won 
 
 If ev'ry one would fave but one ? 
 
 Or fight Manger* d to be loft 
 
 IVhere allrefolve to fave the mo ft .? 
 
 By this means when a Battles won, 
 
 The fVar's as far from being done : 
 
 For thofe that fave themfelves, and fijfl 
 
 Go half's at leift in the Victory : 
 
 And fometirne, when their loft is finally 
 
 And danger great, they challenge all: 
 
 Print new Additions to their Fedts^ 
 
 Zitid Bntmdationi in Gazets; 
 
 4 a £ 
 
2io C J NT III 
 
 And when for furious haft to runt 
 They durfl not flay to fire a Gun : 
 Have don't with Bonefires, and at home 
 Made Squibs, and Cr ackers overcome. 
 
 • 
 
 To fet the Rabble on a Flame, 
 And keep their G over now s from blame, 
 Difperfe the News, the Pulpit tells, 
 Confirmed with Fire-works, and with Bells, 
 
 And though reduced to that extream, 
 
 Tljey have been forced to ftng Te Deum, 
 
 Tet with Religious Blajphemy 
 
 By flattering Heaven, with a Lie, 
 
 And for their Beating, giving thanks, 
 
 77/ have raifd recruits, and filPd their Banks. 
 
 For thofe who run from the Bnemy, 
 
 Ingage them equally, 4 "o fly, 
 
 And 
 
CANTO III. 211 
 
 y4nd when the fight becomes a chace, 
 Thofe win the day, that vain the Race ; 
 u4nd that which would not p aft in Fights, 
 Has done the Feat with eafie flights, 
 Recovered many a, deffrate Campain, 
 fVith Burdeaux, Burgundy, and Champaign. 
 Refior*d the fainting High' and Mighty 
 IVith Brandy- Wine, and Aqua-vita. 
 And made them fioutly overcome, 
 JVith Bacracky Hocamore, and Mum, 
 JVhom, the uncontroupd decrees- of Fate 
 To ViHory neceffitate. 
 JVith which although they run or burn, ' 
 
 They unavoidably return : 
 Or elfe, their Sultan-Populace's 
 Still fir angle all their routed Baffa^s. 
 
 O 3 Quoth 
 
213 CANTO III. 
 
 Quoth Hudibras, / under f and 
 
 IVhat Fights thou mean* ft at Sea, and Land 
 
 And rvho tho fewer e that run away, 
 And yet gave out tP had won the day : 
 Although the Rabble foufd them for't, 
 CPre Head, and Ears, in Ji-fud and Dirt, 
 Tit true, our Modern way of War 
 Is grown more politick by far. 
 But not fo refolute, and bold, 
 JSfor ty*d to Honour, as the old. 
 For now they laugh, at giving Battle 
 Mnlefl it be to Herds of Cattle : 
 Or fghting conroys of Provision , 
 The whole defign of the Fxf edition, 
 And not with down-right blows to rout 
 The Fnemy^ but eat them out : 
 
 As 
 
CANTO HI. 213 
 
 -^r Fighting in all Beafts of Prey, 
 
 Aid Fating, art performed one way 7 
 
 To give defiance to their teetJj, 
 
 And fight their ftubborn Guts tg Death, 
 
 And thofe atchieve the high* ft renown, 
 
 That bring the other Stomachs down. 
 
 There s now no Fear of wounds nor maiming^ 
 
 All dangers are reduced to Famine. 
 
 And Feats of Arms, to Plot, Defign, 
 
 Surprize, and Stratagem, and Mine. 
 
 But have no need, nor uje of courage, 
 
 Mnlefi it be for Glory, or Forrage : 
 
 For if they fight, 'tis but by chance, 
 
 When one fide venturing to advance, 
 
 And come uncivilly too near, 
 
 Are charged unmercifully fth' Rere : 
 
 And for? d with terrible refiftame? 
 
 To keep hereafter at a (lijlance, 
 
 O 4 To 
 
ai4 CANT QUI 
 
 To pick out ground to incamp upon 
 Where flore of largefl Rivers run, 
 Th<it ferve infleadof peaceful Barriers 
 To part tti* engagements of their Warriors , 
 Where both from fide to fide may skip, 
 And only encounter at Bo-peep. 
 For Men are found the flout er -hearted, 
 The certainer tP are to be parted. 
 And therefore pofl themf elves in bogs, 
 As the ancient Mice attacked the frogs, 
 And made their mortal Enemy, 
 The Water-Rat, their great Allie. 
 For "'tis not now, who's flout and bold,] 
 But who bears qmger beft, and cold: 
 And hts approved the mofl deflerving 
 Who longeft can hold out at flarving : 
 But he that routs mofl Pigs, and Cows, 
 The formidable fi Man of Prcw§. 
 
 So, 
 
CANTO III. 215 
 
 So, the Emperour Caligula, 
 That triumphed ore the Britijb Sea ; 
 Took Crabs y and. Oyflers Prisoners, 
 slnd Lobfltrs, ^fiead of Curafitrs„ 
 Ingagd his Legions in fierce buflles, 
 IVith Ptrywinkles, Prawns, and Mufcles, : 
 sfnd led his Troops with furious gallops, 
 To charge whole Regiments of Scallppc. 
 Not like their ancient way of IVar 7 
 To wait on his triumphal Qarr ; 
 But when he went to dine or fup ;f 
 More bravely eat his Qaptrues. up ; 
 sfnd left all Wars by his example, 
 Reditcd to vi of ling of a Camp well. 
 
 Quoth Ralph, by all that you have faid 
 And twice as much that I could add,, 
 
 9* 
 
 io 
 
ai6 CANTO III. 
 
 >Tis plain, you cannot now do worfe, 
 Then take this out-of-fafhion'd courfe : 
 To hope by ftratagem to wooe her, 
 Or waging Battle to fubdue her. 
 Though fbme have done it in Romances , 
 And bangd them into Amorous Fancies, 
 As thofe, who won the Amazons, 
 By wanton drubbing of their bones : 
 And flout Rinaldo gain'd his Bride, 
 By courting of her back, and fide. 
 But flnce thofe times and Feats are over, 
 They are not for a Modern Lover : 
 When Mifireffes are too crofs-grain'd, 
 By fuch addrefles, to be gain'd : 
 And if they were, would have it out, 
 With many another kind of bout. 
 Therefore I hold no courfe s' infefihle 
 As this of force to win the jpefM. 
 
 To 
 
CANTO III 317 
 
 To {form her heart, by th' Antick charms 
 Of Ladies Errant, force of Arms, 
 But rather Arrive by Law to win her, 
 And try the Title you have in her. 
 Your Cafe is clear, you have her word. 
 And me to wimefs the accord. 
 Befides two more of her retinue 
 
 To teftifie what pall: between you. 
 More probable, and like to hold> 
 Then Hand or Seal, or breaking Gold ; 
 
 For which fo many that renounc'd 
 
 Their plighted Contracts have been trounc'd. 
 And Bills upon Record been found, 
 
 That forc'd the Ladies to compound ; 
 And that unlefs I mils the matter, 
 Is all the bufinefs you look after, 
 Befides, Encounters at the Bar, 
 Are braver now, then thofe in Wan 
 
 In 
 
ai8 CANTO HI. 
 
 la which the Law does execution, 
 With lefs Diforder aad Confufion : 
 Has more of Honour in't fbme hold, 
 Not like the New way, but the Old. 
 When thofe the Pen had drawn together, 
 Decided quarrels with the Feather, 
 And winged Arrows kilPd as dead, 
 And more then Bullets now of Lead. 
 So all their Combats now, as then, 
 Are manag'd chiefly by the Pen. 
 That does the Feat, with braver vigours,, 
 In words at length , as well as Figures. 
 Is Judge of all the World performs, 
 In voluntary Feats of Arms. 
 And whatfo'ere's atchiev'd in Fight 
 Determines which is wrong or right 
 For whether you Prevail, or lofe, 
 All muft be tryM there in the clofe. 
 
 And 
 
CANTO III. 219 
 
 And therefore 'tis not wife to fhun, 
 What you muft truft to, ere y' have done. 
 
 The Law, that fettles all you do, 
 And marries where you did but wooe. 
 That makes the moft perfidious Lover, 
 A Lady,' that's as falfe, recover : 
 And if it judge upon your fide, 
 Will fbon extend her for your Bride : 
 And put her Perfon, Goods ', or Lands, 
 Or which you like belt, int' your hands, 
 
 For Law's the Wifclom of all Ages 
 And manag'd by the ableft Sages, 
 Who though their bus* nefi at the Bar 
 Be but a kind of civil IVar> 
 In which th' ingage with fere er Dudgeons 
 Then e're the Grecians did 9 and Tro)*ns. 
 
 They 
 
a2 6 CANTO III 
 
 - 
 
 They never manage the conteft, 
 T' impair their publick intereft, 
 Or by their controversies, leiTen 
 
 The dignity of their Proftffton : 
 
 Not like us Brethren, who divide 
 
 Our Common-wealth, The Caxfe, and fide, 
 
 And though w' are all as near of kindred 
 
 As th' outward Man is to the inward, ; 
 
 We agree in nothing but to wrangle 
 
 About the flighteft Single fangle, 
 
 While Lawyers.have more ibber ferifey 
 
 Then to argue at their own expence. 
 
 But make their heft advantages, 
 
 Of other quarrels, like the Swift, 
 
 And out of Foraign controversies, 
 
 By aiding both Mes,f II their Purfcs. 
 
 But have no int'rert in the Caufe, 
 
 fox which, th 5 fflgage, and, wage the jLaivs ; 
 
 Ho? 
 
CANTO III. 221 
 
 Nor further ProfpecT: then their Pay 9 
 Whether they loofe or win the Day. 
 And though th' abounded in all Ages, 
 With fundry Learned Clerks, and Sages. 
 Though all their buiincfs be difpute, 
 With which they canvafs every fuit ; 
 Th' have no difputes about their Art 
 Nor in Polemicks controvert. 
 While all ProftJJtons elfe are found, 
 With nothing but Dilutes t' abound t 
 Divines of all forts, and- Phyficians, 
 Pbilofopbtrs, Mathematicians, 
 The Gallenijly and Paractlfian^ 
 Condemn the way, each other deals irt* 
 Anatomifis DhTect and Mangle 
 
 To cut themfelves out work to wrangle* 
 
 kflrok- 
 
222 CANTO III. 
 
 y?[hologers difpute their Dreams: 
 That in their deeps they talk of, Schemes. 
 And Heralds fiickle, who got who* 
 So many hundred years ago. 
 
 Sut Lawyers are too wife a Nation,' 
 T* expofe their Trade toDifputation : 
 Or make the bufie Rabble Judges, 
 Of all their fecret Piques, and grudges? 
 In which whoever wins the day, 
 The whole ProfeflioiVs fure to Pay. 
 
 Eeiide, no Mountebanks, nor Cheats 
 Dare undertake to do their FeAts i 
 When in all other Sciences, 
 They fwarm, Xikzlnfccis, and Increafe. 
 
 For what Bigot durft ever draw 
 Zy Invar d Light, a Deed in Law? 
 
 Pi 
 
CANTO 111 223' 
 
 t)r could Hold fortl^ by Rtvel.ition, 
 An Anfiver to a Declaration ? 
 For thofe that meddle with their Took 
 Will Cut their Fingers, if -th' are Fools. 
 And if you follow their Advice, 
 In Bills, and Anfwers, and Reply's i 
 They'l write a Love-letter in Qhancery 
 Shall bring her upon Oath to An fiver ye; 
 And foon Reduce her to b' your Wife,' 
 Or make her weary of her life* 
 
 The Knight, who us'd witli tricks and fbiffiS] 
 
 To Edifie,by Ralphos gifts : 
 
 But in Appearance, cry'd him down, 
 
 To make them better feeiri his ownv 
 
 ( AH PUgiarfs Conftant Courfe. 
 
 Of finking,- when they tnke a furfe J 
 
 RcfoVd 
 
224 C J NT III 
 
 Refblv'd to follow his advice, 
 But kept it from him, in Difguife : 
 And after ftubborn Contradi&ion, 
 To Counterfeit his own Convi&ion, 
 And by Tranfition, fall upon 
 The Reiolution, as his own 
 
 Quoth he ; This Gambol thou Advifeft, 
 Is, of all others, the umvifeft ; 
 For if I think by Law to gain her, 
 There s nothing Sillier, nor T'ainer. 
 *Tis but to hazard my Pretence ', 
 /Vheref nothings certain, but tPFxpence. 
 To Act againfi my [elf, and Traverfe 
 My Suit, and Title, to her favors. 
 And if /he jjjould, which heaven forbid, 
 Cfytthrop me, as the Fidltr did. 
 
 mat, 
 
CANTO III. 225 
 
 /^W after-courfe have I to take, 
 Gainfl loo ftag all I have at flake ? 
 He that with injury is grieved, 
 slnd go's to Law, to be Relieved ; 
 •Is Syllier then a fottifh Chews, 
 IVho when a thief has RolPd his houfe * * 
 Ally's himfelf to Cunning-men 
 To help him to his goods agen. 
 IVhen all he can expect to gain. 
 Is but to fquander more, in vain. 
 jdndyet I have no othtr way. 
 But is as difficult, to play. 
 For to reduce her, by main force, 
 Is now in vain, by Fair means, worfe : 
 But worfl of all, to give her over, 
 Tillfbis as Dcffrat to recover. 
 For bad games are thrcwn-up too foon^ 
 Until ttfare never to be won, 
 
 P a But 
 
225 C J NT III 
 
 But [met I have no other courje. 
 But is as bad t* attempt, or rvorfe '* 
 He that complies againft his JVW. 
 Is of his own opinion fill, 
 Which he may adhere to, yet difown, 
 For Reafons to himfelf be ft known > 
 'But 7 tis not to be avoided now, 
 JFor Sidrophel refolves to fue r 
 Whoml muft anfwer, or begin 
 Inevitably, firft with him „ 
 For Fve received advertisement, 
 By-times enough, of his intent ; 
 slnd knowing, he that ftrft complains, 
 TW advantage of the bufwe ft gains. 
 For Courts of jjfuftice under ft and 
 The Plaint iff, to be eldeft hand ; 
 IVho what he pleafes may aver. 
 The other nothing till hs fwear : 
 
 A 
 
CANTO III. 2 2 7 
 
 Is freely admitted to all grace, 
 
 And lawful Favor by his place : 
 
 And for his bringing cufiom in, - . • ' 
 
 Has all advantages to win 5 • - 
 
 I who Refolve, to overfee 
 
 Alb Lucky opportunity, 
 
 Will go to Qounfel, to Advife 
 
 Which way f'weounter, or furprife. 
 
 And after long consideration : 
 
 Have found out one toft ttfoccafton, 
 
 Mofl apt, for what I have to do. 
 
 As Qounfellor, and<fuftice, too. 
 
 And truly fb, ho doubt, he was, 
 
 A Lawyer fit for fiich a Cafe. 
 
 AdOldDulSots wh' had told the Clock, 
 For many years, at fyidewel-Dock. 
 
 P 3 At 
 
228 CANTO III. 
 
 At PVefimmfter y and Hie kfes-hall y 
 And Hiccius-Dockius play'd in all ; 
 Where in all govermnent s y and times, 
 H'had been both friend, and/fl to Crimes, 
 And us'd two equal ways of gaining, 
 By hindring jufiice, or maintaining : 
 ; To many a Whore gave Priviltdge, 
 And whip'd, for want of Quarter idge. 
 Cart-loads ofBmdfs^ to Prifbn lent 
 For b'ing behind a fortnights Rent. 
 And many a trufty Pimp, and Croney, 
 To Puddle-deck, for want of Money. 
 Ingag'd the Confiable to ceafe 
 All thofe, that would not break the Peace. 
 Nor give him back his own foul words, 
 Though fpmetimes Commoners, or Lords r 
 And kept 'cm Prifbners, of Courfej 
 Fox being fohr at HI hours ^ 
 
 1W 
 
CANTO III 229 
 
 That in the Morning he might Free, 
 
 Or Bind 'ern over, for his Fee. 
 
 Made Modifiers Fine, and Puppet-plays, 
 
 For leave to practice, in their ways : 
 
 Farm'd out all Cheats, and went a Share, 
 
 With tK Head-burrow, and Scavenger 
 
 And made the Durt ith' Streets Compound, 
 
 For taking up the PuHkk Ground : 
 
 The Kennel, and the Kings High-way, 
 
 For being unmolefted, Pay. 
 
 Let out the Stocks, and Whipping Poft, 
 
 And Cage, to diole that gave him moft 
 
 Impos'd a Tax on Bakers Ears, 
 
 And for Falfe Weights on Chandelier s. 
 
 Made Victuallers, and Vintners Fine 
 
 For Arbitrary Ale, and Wine. 
 
 But was a kind and Conftant Friend, 
 
 To all that Regularly offend : 
 
 P 4 Ai 
 
s 5 o CANTO m. 
 
 As Refident'tary Bawds,, * 
 And Brokers, that receive fioln Goods ; 
 That cheat in Lawful Myfteries, 
 And pay Church-duties, and his Fees, 
 But was Implacable, and Auker'd 
 To all that Interloped, and Hatcher* 'd. 
 
 To this brave Man, the Knight repairs 
 For Counfel, in his Law-affairs, 
 
 And found him mounted, in his Pen:, 
 
 With Books, and Money plac'd, for fhew, 
 
 like Ntft-eggs, to make Clients lay 
 
 And for his falfe Opinion, pay : 
 
 To whom the Knight, with comely grace> 
 
 Put off his Hat, to put his Cafe, 
 
 Which he as proudly entertain'd. 
 
 As the other courteously ftrain'd: 
 
 And 
 
I CANTO III. 231 
 
 And to allure him, 'twas not that, 
 He look'd for 5 Bid him put on's Hat. 
 
 Quoth he, there is one Sidrophel 
 
 Whom I have cudgel'd l r try n>tK. 
 
 And now he brags, t' have beaten me. 
 Better , and better ft ill, quoth he, 
 And vows to flick me, to a Wall 
 Where e're he meets me — be ft of all. 
 'Tis true, the Knave has taken's Oath, 
 That I rob'd him — /Veil done in troth. 
 When h' has confeft, he ftole my Cloak, 
 And pick'd my Hob, and what he took, 
 Which was the caufe, that made me bang him, 
 And take my Goods again — marry hang him : 
 Now whether I fhould, before hand 
 Swear he rob'd me I I under ft and 
 
 Or 
 
2 }2 CANTO III. ]f 
 
 Or bring my ^tfion of conversion 
 
 And Trover for my Goods ? Jh IVhorfcn. 
 
 Or if 'tis better to Indite, 
 
 And bring him to his Trial ? Right, 
 
 Prevent what he defigns to do, 
 
 And Iwear for th' ftate againft him ? True, 
 
 Or whether he that is Defendant 
 In this Cafe, has the better end on't ; 
 Who putting in a new crofs-bill, 
 
 May traverfe th' Action ? better ft ill. 
 
 Then there's a Lady too. ■ » I marry y 
 That's eafily prov'd acceflary. 
 A Widow," who by lolemn Vows, 
 Contracted, to me, for my Spoufe, 
 Combin'd with him to break her word, 
 And has abetted all- — Good Lord, 
 Suborn'd the aforefaid Sidropbel, 
 To tamper with the Dev'l of Hell, 
 
 Who 
 
CANTO III 233 
 
 Who put m' into a horrid fear, 
 
 Fear of my Life.- — Make that appear. 
 
 Made an afTault, with Fiends and Men. 
 
 Upon my body. Good agen. 
 
 And kept me in a deadly fright 
 
 And falfelmprifonmentall Night, 
 
 Mean while, they rob'd me, and my Horfe, 
 
 And ftole my Saddle, worfe and worfe 5 
 
 And made me mount upon the bare-ridge, 
 T' avoid a wretcheder mifcarriage : 
 
 Sir, quoth the Lawyer, not to flatter ye, 
 You have as Good, and Fair a Rattery, 
 As heart can wifh, and need not (hame, 
 The prouder*. Man alive to claim. 
 For if th' have us'd you, as you fay, 
 Marry, quoth \Godgtve you joy, 
 
234 CANTO III. 
 
 I would it were my Cafe, I'd give, 
 More then He fay, or you'l believe. 
 I would lb trounce her, and her Purfe, 
 Fid make her kneel for better or worfe 5 
 For Matrimony, and Hanging here 5 
 Both go by Deftiny fb, clear, . 
 That you asfiire, may Pick and Cboofe, 
 As Croft I win, and Pile you looje. 
 And if I durft, I would advance 
 As much, in Ready Maintenance ; 
 As upon any Cafe I've known, 
 But we that practice dare not own, 
 The Law feverely contrabands y 
 Our taking bufinefs, of Mens bands ; 
 Tis Common barratry, that bears 
 Point blank an Action ^gAtnfi our Ears 
 And crops them, till there is not Leather, 
 To flick a Pen in, left of either 5 
 
 Tor 
 
CANTO III. 255 
 
 For which, fbme do die Summer-fault 
 
 And ore the Bar, like Tumblers, vault. 
 
 But you may fwear at any rate 
 
 Things not in Nature, for the State : 
 
 For in all Courts of jfuftice here 
 
 A Witnefs is not laid to fvear, 
 
 But make Oath, that is, in plain terms, 
 
 To forge whatever he affirms : 
 
 (I thank you, quoth the Knight, for that, 
 
 Becauftis to my purpofe pat J 
 
 For Juftice, though Die's painted blind* 
 
 Is to the weaker fide, enclin'd 
 
 Like charity, elle right, and, wrong, 
 
 Could never hold it out fo long 
 
 And like blind Fortune, with a flight, 
 
 Conveys Mens Intereft, and Right, 
 
 From Stile's Pocket, into Nokefes ; 
 
 As eafily, as Hocus Poem. 
 
 Plavs 
 
^6 CANTO 111 
 
 Plays fart, and loofe, makes Men Obnoxious, 
 And Clear again, like Hiccms-Doffitis 
 Then whether you would take her life, 
 Or but recover her for your wife : 
 Or be content, with what fhe has, 
 And let all other matters Pafs, 
 The Bufinefs to the Law's alone, 
 The Proof is all it look's upon. 
 And you can want no wknefTes, 
 To Swear to any thing you pleafe : 
 That hardly get their mere Expences . 
 By tip Labor of their Confciences> 
 Or letting out to hire, their Ears, 
 To ^jfdavit-cnfomers : 
 At inconfiderable values, 
 Toferveforjfury-men, or Tales 
 Although Retain'd in th%trdefi matters, 
 OfTrqfiees, and ^dminifirafoM, 
 
 For 
 
CANTO III 227 
 
 For that, Quoth he, Let me alone, 
 
 W have ftore of flich, and all our own ; 
 
 Bred-up and tutor'd, by our Teachers, 
 
 The Able ft of all Conscience- ftr etchers. 
 
 That's well I Quoth he, But I fhould Guefs : 
 
 By weighing all Advantages. 
 
 Your fureft way is firft to Pitch 
 
 On Bongey, for a IVater-mtch : 
 
 And when y 1 have hang'd the Conjurer, 
 
 Y' have time enough, to deal with her. 
 In thTntrim ; Spare for No 'Trepans, 
 To draw her Neck, into the Banes : 
 Ply her with Love-letters, and Billets, 
 And Bait 'em well, for Quirks, and Quillets 
 With Trains t'inveagle, and furprife, 
 Her Heedlefs Jnfwers, and Replfs . 
 And if fhe Mils the Moufirap- Lines, . 
 They'l ferve for other by-Defigm y 
 
 And 
 
238 CANTO III. 
 
 And make an drtift understand, 
 To Copy out her Seal, or Hand : 
 Or find voy'd Places in theVaper, 
 To fteal in fbmething to Intray her. 
 Till with her worldly Goods, and iody, 
 Spight of her Heart, Hie has indow'd ye; 
 
 Retain all forts of fVitne ffcs, 
 That Ply ith' Temples, under trees, 
 Or walk the Round, with Knights oth"* Vcftsj 
 About the Qrofs-le£d Knights, their hofis 
 Or wait for Quftomers, between 
 The Viller-Rows in Lincolns-Inn. 
 Where Vcwchtr 'i. Forgers, Common-bay fy 
 And hffidavit-mtn y ne're fayl 
 T'expofe to Sale, all forts of Oaths, 
 According to their £ars, and Cloatfrs.J 
 
 Theitf 
 
CANTO III. 239 
 
 Their only Necejfary Tools, 
 
 Befides the Go/pel, and their Souls. 
 
 And when y' are furnifh'd with all Purveys . 
 
 * fhall be ready, at your fervice. 
 
 I would not give, quoth Hudibras, 
 
 A ftraw, to underftand a Cafe, 
 
 Without the admirabler skill 
 
 To PVind, and. Manage it at I Villi 
 
 To Vtre> and Tack, and ftear a Caufe, 
 
 Againft the feather-gage of Laws ; 
 
 And Ring the Changes upon Cafes, 
 
 As plain, as Notes upon Faces. 
 
 As you have well inftru&ed me 
 
 For which you have earn'd (here 'tis) your Fee, 
 
 I long to practice your advice, 
 
 And try the fiibtle Artifice : 
 
 CL To 
 
240 CANTO III. 
 
 To bait a Letter, as you bid, 
 As not long after, thus he did, 
 For having pump'd-up all his Wit, 
 And hum'd upon it, thus he Writ 
 
 AN 
 
241 
 
 AN 
 Heroical Epiftle 
 
 O F 
 
 HUDIBRAS 
 
 TO HIS 
 
 L A. LJ Y . 
 
 IWho was once as great as Cafar, 
 Am, now reduc'd to Nebachadnezar. 
 And from as fam'd a Conquerour, 
 As ever took degree in War, 
 Or did his £xercife, in battle. 
 By you turn'd out to Graf with Ott/e. 
 For fince I am deny'd accefs 
 To all my Earthly happinefs 
 
 Q 2 Am 
 
242 An Heroical Efiftle 
 
 — — y 
 
 Am fallen from the Par ad ft 
 
 Of your good Graces , and fair Eyes 
 
 Loft to the World, and you, f me fent 
 
 To Everlafting Banifhment 
 
 Where all the Hopes I had, t" have won 
 
 Tonr Heart y being dafh'd, will break my own. 
 
 Yet if you were not fb fevere 
 
 To pafs your doom, before you hear, 
 
 You'ld find, upon my juft defence, 
 
 How much y' have wrong'd my Innocence. 
 
 That once I made a f^oiv to you. 
 
 Which yet is unperformed Vi* true - 7 
 
 But not, becaufe it is unpaid, 
 
 >Tis Violated, though delayed ; 
 
 Or if it were, it is no fault 
 
 So hainous, as you'ld have it thought, 
 
 Jo undergo the lofs of Ears, 
 
 Like vulgar Hackmy Perjurers^ 
 
 For 
 
of Hadibr^s to bis Lady, 245 
 
 For there's a difference in the cafe 
 Between the Noble, and the Bafe : 
 Who always are obfervM t' have don't, 
 Upon as different an account ' 
 The one for great, and weighty Caufe f 
 To falve in Honour ugly Flaws. 
 For none are like to do it fooner, 
 Then thofe, who are fliceft o^ their Honour. 
 The other, for bdfe Gain, and Pay t 
 For/wear, and Perjjire, by the Day ; , 
 And make th' expofing, and retailing 
 Their Souls, and Conferences, a Calling. 
 
 It is no Scandal, nor udfperfwn; 
 
 Upon a Great , and noble Perfox,- 
 
 To -fay, he Nat'rally abhor'd 
 
 th' old falhiorfd trick, to keep his Word. 
 
 CL3 Though 
 
244 <dn Heroical Epjlle 
 
 Though 'tis perfidioufnefs, and flume, 
 In meaner Men, to do the lame. 
 For to be able to Forget, 
 Is found more ufeful, to the Great : 
 Then Gout, or Deafnefi, or bad £yes', 
 To make 'em pafs for wondrous wif* 
 But though the Larv t on Perjurers, 
 Inflicts, the Forfeiture of Ears ; 
 It is not jujt, that doas exempt 
 The Guilty , and pm/Jh the Innocent ; 
 To make the Ears, repair the wron_ 
 Committed by th' ungovernd Tongue 
 And when one Member is forfworn, 
 Another to be cropt, or torn. 
 And if you fhould, as you defign, 
 By courfe of Law recover mine. 
 You're like, if you confider right, 
 To Gain but little Honour by't. 
 
of Hudibras to his Lady. 245 
 
 For he that for his Ladies fake 
 Lays down his Life, or Limbs, at Stake, 
 Does not fb much deferve her Favour, 
 As he, that Pawns his Soul to have her. 
 This y' have acknowledged I have done, 
 Although you now difdain to own : 
 But fentence, what you rather ought 
 
 T efteem good Service, then a Fault. 
 Befides, Oaths are not bound to bear 
 That Literal Stnje, the words infer, 
 But by the practice of the Age, 
 Are to be judg'd how far th' engage. 
 And where the Senfe by Cuftom's checkt, 
 Are found void, and of none effect. 
 For no Man takes, or keeps a vow, 
 But juft as he fees others do. 
 Nor are th' oblig'd to be fo brittle, 
 As not to yield, and bow a little, 
 
 Ct4 Fo^ 
 
246 An Her oicalEfi file 
 
 For as beft temper'd Blades are found 
 
 Before they break, to bend quite round, 
 
 So trueft Oaths are ftill tnoft tough, 
 
 And though they bow, are breaking-proof* 
 
 Then wherefore fhould they not b' allow'd 
 
 In Love a greater Latitude ? 
 
 For as the Law of Arms approves 
 
 All ways to Conqueft, fb Jbou/d Loves ; 
 
 And not be ty'd to true, or falfj, 
 
 But make that jufteft, that prevails. 
 
 how can that which is above, 
 All Empire, High and Mighty Love, 
 Submit it's great Prerogative, 
 To any other power alive ? 
 I tail Love, that to no Crown gives place 
 Become the fubjeft of a Cafe? 
 
 The 
 
of Hudibras to his Lady. 247 
 
 The Fundamental Law of Nature, 
 Be over-rul'd ! by thofe made after ? 
 Commit the cenfure of its Caufe 
 To any, but it's own Gnat Laws f 
 Love, that's the Worlds prefervative, 
 That keeps all Souls of things alive I 
 Controuls the Mighty pow'r of Fate, 
 And gives, Mankind, a longer date, 
 The Life of Nature, that reftores, 
 As fall and Time, and Death devours, 
 To whofe free gift, the World does owe 
 Not only Earth but Heav'n too : 
 For Love's the only Trade that's driven 
 
 tin 
 
 The Inter eft of State in Heaven, 
 Which nothing but the Soul of Man, 
 Is capable to entertain. 
 For what can Earth produce, but Love 
 
 To reprefent the foys dove ? 
 
 Or 
 
248 An Heroical Efifile 
 
 Or who, hut Lovers, can converge, 
 Like Angels, by the Eye Difcourfe ? 
 ^4ddre§, and complement by vifwn, 
 Make Love, and Court, by intuition t 
 And burn in amorous Flames as fierce, 
 As thofe Celeitial Minifters ? 
 Then how can any thing offend 
 In order, to fb great an end ? 
 ©r Heav'n it felf a Sin refent, 
 That for its own fiipply was meant ? 
 That merits in a kind miftake, 
 A Pardon for the offences fake. 
 Or if it did not, but the Canfe 
 Were left to'th injury of Laws, 
 What tyranny can disapprove 
 There fhould be Equity in Love ? 
 For Laws, that are Imaninate 
 And feel no fenfe of ■ Love, or Hate : 
 
 That 
 
of Hudibras to his Lady. 249 
 
 That have no Paflion of their oww 
 Nor pity to be wrought upon, 
 Are only proper to inflict 
 Revenge, on criminals, as ftricl : 
 But to have Power to forgive, 
 Is Empire, and Prerogative ; 
 And 'tis in Crowns, a ?jobler^fem, 
 To grant a Pardon, then condemn. 
 Then fince fb few do what they ought, 
 'Tis great, t' indulge a well meant fault. 
 For why fhould he, who made address 
 All humble ways, without fuccefs : 
 
 And met with nothing in return, 
 But Infolence, Affronts, and Scorn, 
 Not ftrive by Wit to counter-mine , 
 And bravely carry his Defign ? 
 He who was us'd fo unlike a Soldier, 
 Blown up with Philters of Love-Po#dtr ? 
 
 And 
 
2*0 
 
 An Heroicdl Epifile 
 
 And after letting Blood \ and Purging, 
 Condemn'd to voluntary Scourging? 
 Alarm'd with many a horrid Fright, 
 
 And claw'd, by Goblins f in the Night ? 
 Infulted on, Revil'd, and Jear'd, 
 With rude Invafion of his Beard ? 
 And when your Sex was fouly fcandat'd, 
 As fouly by the Rabble handled ? 
 Attacked by defpicable Foes, 
 And drubM with mean and vulgar blows? 
 
 And after all, to be debar'd, 
 So much as (landing on his Guard ? 
 When Horfes, being Spur'dy and Prichd, 
 Have leave to kick, for being kicked f 
 
 Or why fhould you, whole Mother IVitSj 
 Are furnifh'd with all Perquifits ? 
 
 That 
 
of Hudibras to his Lady. 2 5 1 
 
 That with your Breeding Tttth begin, 
 k nd Nurfing Babies, that Lye in ? 
 
 B' allow'd to put all tricks upon 
 Our Cully-Sex, and we life none ? 
 
 We, who have nothing, but frail vows, 
 Againft your ftratagems t! oppofe ? 
 Or Oaths, more feeble then your own, 
 By which, we are no lefs put down ? 
 You wound, like ParthUns, while you fly, 
 And kill, with a Retreating £ye, 
 Retire the more, the more we prefs, 
 To draw us into Ambufhes. 
 As Pyrites all f life colours wear, 
 T' intrap th' unwary Mariner : 
 So Women to iiirprize us, fpread 
 Their borrowed Flags, of PFhite and Red. 
 Difplay 'em thicker on their Cheeks, 
 Then their old Grandmothers, the Pi . 
 
 And 
 
252 An Heroical Fpiflle 
 
 And raife more Devils, with their looks, 
 Then Conjurers left fubtle Books. 
 Lay Trains of Amoyous Intriegms \ 
 In Tows, and Curls, and, Perriwigs. 
 With greater Art, and cunning rear'd, 
 Then Philip Nys Thank s-giving-beard. 
 PrepofFroufly t' intice, and Gain, 
 Thofe to adore 'em they difdain : 
 And only draw 'em in, to clog 
 With idle Names, a Catalogue. 
 
 A Lover is, the more he's brave, 
 T' his Miftrefs, but the more a Slave, 
 And whatfbever fhe commands 
 Becomes a favour from her hands 
 Which he's oblig'd to obey, and mult, 
 Whether it be unjufr P or juft. 
 
 Then 
 
of Hudibras to his Lady. 253 
 
 Then when he is compel'd by her 
 T' Adventures, he would elfe forbear, 
 Who with his Honour, can withftand, 
 Since force is greater then command ? 
 And when Neceility's obey'd 
 Nothing can beunjuft, or bad 
 And therefore, when the mighty Pow'rs 
 Of Love, your great Allie^ and yours ; 
 Joyn'd Forces, not to be withflood, 
 By frail enamoured Flefh, and Blood, 
 All I have done unjuft, or ill, 
 Was in obedience to your will : 
 And all the blame that can be due 
 Falls to your cruelty, and you. 
 
 Nor are thofe fcandals I confeft, 
 Againft my Will, and Intereft, 
 
 More 
 
2 5 4 ^ n H crotca l Epijile 
 
 More then is daily done of courl? 
 By all Men, when th' are under force 
 Whence fbme, upon the Rack, confefs 
 What th' Hangman, and their Prompters pleafe, 
 But are no fboner out of pain 
 Then they deny it all again. 
 But when the Devil turns ConfefTor, 
 Truth is a. Crime, he takes no pleafure, 
 To Hear, or Pardon, like the Founder 
 
 Of Lyars y whom they all claim under. 
 And therefore, when I told him none, 
 I think it was the wifer done. 
 Nor am I without Precedent, 
 The firftthat on th' Adventure, went : 
 All Mankind ever did of courfe, 
 And daily does the fame, or worfe. 
 For what Romance can fhew a Lover, . 
 That had a Lady to recover. 
 
 And 
 
of Hudibras to hk Lady. 255 
 
 And did not fleer a nearer courfe, 
 
 To fall aboard in his Amours ? 
 And what at firfl was held a crime, 
 Has turn'd to Honourable in time, 
 
 To what a height did Infant Rome, 
 By Ravifhing of Women come ? 
 When Men upon their Spoufes feiz'd, 
 And freely Marry'd where they pleas'd • 
 They ne're Forfwore tnemfelv es nor Lfd, 
 Nor in the Minds they wereitf, Dy i d ; 
 Nor took the pains, ? addrefi, and fue, 
 Nor flaid the Mafquerade to wooe. 
 Difdain'd to flay for Friends contents. 
 Nor juggled about fettlements : 
 Did need no Zicenfe, nor no PrkJ}. } 
 Not Friends, nor Kindred toaffiir. ; 
 
 ft Nor 
 
2^6 An Heroical Epflk 
 
 Nor Lawyers, to joyn Land, and Money, 
 
 In th' Holy State of Matrimony : 
 
 Before they fettled Hands and Hearts : 
 
 Till sfl'mony, or Death departs ; 
 
 Nor would indure to ftay, until 
 
 ,Th' had got the very Brides good will. 
 
 But took a wife, and fhorter courfe, 
 
 To win the Lady's, Down-right Force. 
 
 And juftly made 'em Prifoners then 
 
 As they have often, fmce us Men, 
 
 With doling Plays and Dancing ffiggf* 
 
 The Luckier! of all Loves Intrigues: 
 
 And when they had them at their Pleaflire, 
 
 Then talk'd c&Lovc, and Flames, at Leifure. 
 
 For after Matrimony's over, 
 
 He that Holds out, but Haifa Lover $ 
 
 Deferv's forev'ry ^/;;;//^e,more 
 
 Then half a year of Love before : 
 
 For 
 
gf Hudibf as to his Lady, 257 
 
 For with the Dames, in Contemplation 
 
 Of that beft way of Application, 
 
 Proved Nobler wives, then ere were known 
 
 By Suite, or treaty, to be won : 
 
 And fuch as all Pofterity, 
 
 Gould never equal nor come nigh. 
 
 For Women firft were made for Men, 
 
 Not Men for them. It follows then* 
 
 That Men have right to every one, 
 And they no freedom of their own : 
 And therefore Men have pow'r to chufe* 
 But they no Charter to refute : 
 Hence 'tis apparent, that what courfe 
 So e're we take, to your Amours^ 
 Though by the Indire£teft way 
 "Tis no fvjuftice, nor Foul Play, 
 
 R 4 And 
 
258 An Her ok al Eprfile 
 
 And that you ought to take that courfe, 
 As we take you for Better or worfe, 
 And Gratefully fubmit to thofe, 
 Who you, before another chofe : 
 For why fhould every Savage Beail: 
 Exceed his Great Lord's Inter tfi f 
 Have freer Pow'r , then he, in Grac e, 
 sfnd Nature, o're the Creature has f 
 Becaufe the Laws, he fince, has made 
 Have cut off all the Pow'r he had 
 Retrenched the abfblute Dominion 
 That Nature gave him, over Women. 
 When all his Pow'r will not extend, 
 One Law of Nature to fufpend » 
 And but to offer to repeal 
 The irnalleft claufe, is to rebel . \ 
 
 This, 
 
#f Hudibras to hit Lady. 259 
 
 This, if Men rightly underftood 
 
 Their Priviledge, they would make good, 
 
 And not, like Sots, permit their Wives 
 
 T' encroach, on their Prerogatives. / 
 
 For which Sm, they deferve to be 
 
 JCept, as they are, in flavery. 
 
 And this, lome precious Gifted Teacher s f 
 
 Unrev'rendy reputed Leachers, 
 
 And difobey'd in making Love 
 
 Have vow'd to all the World, to prove 
 
 And make ye fiirTer, as you ought, 
 
 For that uncharitable fault. 
 
 But, I forget my felf, and rove, 
 Beyond th' Inftru&ions of my Love 1 
 Forgive me (Fair) and only blame, 
 Th' extravagancy of my FUme 3 
 
 it '3 Since 
 
2 6o An Heroical Epjlle 
 
 Since 'tis too much, at once, to (how 
 
 Excefs of Love, and temper too : 
 
 All I have laid, that's ba d y and true,, 
 
 Was never meant to aim at you : 
 
 Who have fo Sov'raign a controul, 
 
 O'rethat Poor Slave of yours, my Soul: 
 
 That rather then to forfeit you, 
 
 Hasventur'd lofiof Heaven too. 
 
 Both with an equal Pow'r poffeft 
 
 To render all, that ferve ye bleft 
 But none like him, who's deflin'd, either 
 To have, or loofi you, both together. 
 And if you'l but this fault releafe, 
 (For fo it mufl be, fince-you plealej 
 He pay down all that vow, and more 
 Which you commanded, and I Jivore. 
 And expiate upon my Skin, 
 The Arreers in full of all my Sin. 
 
 For 
 
oj Hudibras to bis Lady. 2&1 
 
 For 'tis but juft, that I Ihould pay, 
 Th' acerewing penance, for delay, 
 V i (hall be done, until it move 
 Your equal pity, and your Love. 
 
 The Knight, perufing this Epifile, 
 
 Believ'd, h' had brought her to his Whifile 7 
 
 And read it, like a jocund Lover, 
 
 With great applaufe, t' himfelf, twice over, 
 
 Subfcrib'd his Name, but at a Fit, 
 
 And humble diftance, to his wit : 
 
 And dated it with wondrous Art, 
 
 Givn from the bottom of his heart : 
 
 Then feaf d it, with his coat of Love 
 
 A fmoaking Faggot — and above 
 
 Upon a Scrol — Iburn y and, weep 
 
 And near it — For her Ladyjhip 
 
 R 4 °f 
 
2j5 2 An Her died Epifile 
 
 Of all her Sex, moft excellent, 
 Thefe to her gentle hands prefent. 
 Then gave it to his faithlefs Squire 
 With LefTons, how t' obferye, and eye her. 
 
 She firft confider'd which was better, 
 ,To fend it back or burn the Letter : 
 But guefling that it might import 
 Though nothing elfe, at leaft, her fgort 
 She open'd it and read it out, 
 With many a fmile, and learing flout : 
 Refblv'dto anfwer it in kind 
 And thus perform'd what fhe defign'd, 
 
 THE 
 
263 
 
 ' ■ ■ " * 
 
 — - „...-. ..... 
 
 THE 
 
 LADIES 
 
 Anfwer 
 
 TO THE 
 
 KNIGHT. 
 
 THat you'r a Be*/}, and turnd to Graf, 
 Is no ftrange News, nor ever was, 
 At leaf!:, to me, who once you know 
 Did from the Pound, Replevin you. 
 When both your Stvord, and Spurs, were won 
 In Combat, by an Amazon ; 
 That Sword, that did (like Fate) determine 
 Th' Inevitable Death of Vermine : 
 
 And 
 
264 The Ladies Anfwer 
 
 And never dealt its furious blows, 
 Butcutthethredsof Pigs, and Cows, 
 By TruILtj was in mgle Fight, 
 Difarm'd, and wrefted from its Knight : 
 Your Heels Degraded of your Spurs, 
 And in the Stocks, Clofe Prifbners. 
 Where ftill th' had Layn, in bafe Reitraint, 
 If I, in Pitty 'of your Complaint, 
 Had not on Honorable Conditions, 
 Releaft 'em from the worft of Prifbns, 
 And what Return that favour met, 
 You cannot (though you would) forget 
 When being free, you ftrove t' evade 
 The Oaths you had in Prifon made ? 
 
 Forfwore your felf, and firfr. deny'd it, 
 But after own'd, and jufrify'd it : 
 'And when y' had falfly broke one Vow •• 
 Ablblv'd, your felf, by breaking two. 
 
 For 
 
To the Knight. 265 
 
 For while you iheakingly fubmit, 
 And beg for Pardon, at our feet : 
 Difcourag'd by your guilty fears, 
 To hope for Quarter, for your Ears. 
 And doubting 'twas in vain, to fue. 
 You claim us boldly as your due- 
 Declare that Treachery, and Force, 
 To deal with us, is th' only courfe. 
 Who have no T itle, nor Pretence, 
 To Body j Soul, or Confcience : 
 But oudit to fall to that Man's fhare, 
 That claims us, for his proper Ware : 
 Thefe are the motives, which t' induce, 
 Or fright us into Love, you ufe, 
 A pretty new way of Gallanting, 
 Between Soliciting, and Ranting, 
 Like fturdy Beggers, that intreat, 
 For Charity, at once, and threat? 
 
 But 
 
166- The Ladier Answer 
 
 But fince you undertake to Prove 
 Your own Propriety, in Love 
 As if we were but Lawful Prize 
 In JVar, between two Enemies ; 
 Or Forfeitures , which ev'ry Lover 
 That would but fue for, might Recover 
 It is not Hard to underftand ' 
 The My fir* y of this Bold Demand : 
 That cannot at our Perlbns aim ; 
 But fbmething capable of Claim. 
 
 ■> 
 
 Tis not, Thofe Poultry counterfeit, 
 
 French Stones, which in our Eyes, you fet : 
 
 But our Right Diamonds, that Inlpire, 
 
 And fet your Amo'rous Hearts on fire. 
 
 Nor can thofe Falie S. Martins beads 
 
 Which on our Lips, you lay for Reds 
 
 And 
 
To the Knight. 26 7 
 
 And make us wear, like Indian Dames, 
 Add Fewel, to your Scorching Flames. 
 But thofe true Rubies of the Rock, 
 Which in our Cabinets, we lock, 
 
 'Tis not thofe Orient pearls our Teeth, 
 That you are fo tranfported with. 
 But thofe we wear about our Necks, 
 Produce thofe Amorous Effects. 
 Nor is't thole Threads of Gold, our Hair 
 The Perewigs you make us tt>ear 
 But thofe bright Guinneys in our Chefls 
 That light the wild fire in your Brefts. 
 Thefe Love-tricks I've been vers't in fb, 
 That all their fly Intrigues, I know. 
 And can unriddle, by their Tones 5 
 Their Myftiqne Cabals, and forgone s. 
 
 On 
 
268 The Ladies Avfoer 
 
 Can tell what Paffions, by their Sounds, 
 Pine for the Beauties, of my Grounds : 
 What Raptur'sFond, and Amorous, 
 OMi' CJj 'arms , and Graces of my Houfe. 
 What JSxftacy, and Scorching Flame 
 Burns for my Money, in my Name. 
 What from th'unnatural Defire 
 To Beafls, and Cattle, takes it's fire. 
 
 What Tender Sigh,, and Trickling ttarj 
 Longs for a Thoufand Pound a year. 
 And Languishing Tranfports, are Fond 
 Of Statute, Mortgage, BUI, and Y>ond. 
 
 Thefe are th' Attracts, which mod men fall 
 Inamour'd, at firft fight, with all ; 
 To thefe th'Addreis with Serenades 
 And Court with fytlls, and Masker -ades 
 
 fM 
 
To the Knight. 269 
 
 And yet, For all the yearning Pain 
 
 Y' have furTer'd for their Loves, in vain : 
 
 I fear they'l prove fb nice and Coy 
 
 To have and fHold, and tojfnjoy : 
 
 That all your Oaths, and labor loft 
 
 They'l n'ere turn Ladys of the Poft. 
 
 This is not meant, to Difapprove 
 
 Your Judgment, in your Choice of Love 
 
 Which is fo wife, The greater!: Part 
 
 Of Mankind, ftudy't as an Art, 
 
 For Love fhould, like a Deodand, 
 
 Still fall to downer of the Land : 
 
 And where there's Subflance, for it's Ground, 
 
 Cannot but be more Firm, and Sound, 
 
 Then that which has the {lighter Bams, 
 
 Of Airey virtue, wit, and graces : 
 
 Which is of fuch thin Subtlety, 
 
 It Steal's, and Creep's in at the eye. 
 
 And 
 
2 jo The Ladies Anfrper 
 
 ; — , , . -, — 
 
 id as it can't ihdure to flay, 
 \ls out again, as nice, a way. 
 
 But Love, that its extraction owns 
 From fblid Gold, and precious Stones 
 Mult, like its fhining Parents prove, 
 As folidy and as Glorious Love : 
 Hence 'tis, you have no way, t' exprefs 
 Our Charms , and Graces, but by thefe : 
 for what are Lips, and Eyes, and Teeth, 
 Which Beauty invades, and conquers with ? 
 With Rubles, Pearls, and Diamonds 
 With which a Philter Lcve commands t 
 
 This is the way all Parents prove, 
 In managing their Childrens Love 
 That force 'em t' inter-nwry and wed> 
 As if th' were Bkfitig of the Dead. 
 
 ? 
 
 Cai 
 
To the Knight] 271 
 
 Caft Earth, to Earth, as in the Grave, 
 
 To Joyn in Wedlock all they have. 
 
 And when die fettlement's in Force, 
 
 Take all the reft, For, Better or rwrfe, 
 
 For Money has a Power, above, 
 
 The Stars, and Fate, to manage Love : 
 
 Whole Arrows, Learned Poets hold, 
 
 That never mils, are Tift with Gold. 
 
 And though fome fay the Parents claims, 
 
 To make Love in their Childrens Names. 
 
 Who, many times, at once, Provide, 
 
 The JVurfe, the Husband, and the Bride. 
 
 Feel Darts, and QJjarms, Attracts, and Flames } 
 
 And woo, and contract, in their Names. 
 
 And as they Qhrijlen, uie to marry 'em, 
 
 And, like their GoJJips, anfwer for 'em, 
 
 Is not to give in Matrimony, 
 
 P*t$eM, and Projlitute, for Money* 
 
 S Tis 
 
j2 The Ladies Anfwer 
 
 111 
 
 Tis better then their own Betrothing, 
 Who often do't for worfe then Nothing, 
 And when th' are at their own Difpofe^ 
 With greater Difadvantage, choofe. 
 All this is Right ! But for the Courfe, 
 You take to do't, by Fraud, or Force s 
 'Tis lb Ridiculous, As fbon y 
 As told, 'tis never to be done. 
 No more then Setters can Betray, 
 That tell what Tricks they are to Play, 
 Marriage, at belt is but a Vow, 
 Which all men, either B>W', or Bow, 
 Then what will diofe forbear to do, 
 Who Per jure j when they do but Woo I 
 Such as before hand, Swear , and lye r 
 For Earnejt to their Treachery : 
 And rather then a Grime confefs, 
 With greater jftrive to/nake it left. 
 
 Like 
 
To the Knight: 
 
 Like Thieves, who after fentence pair, 
 
 Maintain their Innocence to the lair. 
 
 And when their Crimes were made appear.; 
 
 As Plain as witneffes can fwear. 
 
 Yet when the wretches come to Dy, 
 
 Will take upon their Deaths a Ly* 
 
 Nor are the virtues, you Confeft, 
 
 T' your Ghofily Father, as you Gueft, 
 
 So flight, as to be Juftify'd, 
 
 By being, as fhame fully, Deny'd. 
 
 As if you thought your word would Pafs * 
 
 Poynt-blanc, on both fides^ of a Cafe, 
 
 t)r Credit were not, to be loft, 
 
 B' a Brave Knight Errant of the Pojl. 
 
 That Eats, perfldioufly, his/^rV; 
 
 Andfivears his Ears, through a two Inch Board 7 
 
 tan own the fame thing, and Difbwn, 
 
 And Perjure booty, Vro and Qon. 
 
 S i Can 
 
274 T^ Ladies Anfwer 
 
 Can make the Gofpel lerve his turn, 
 And help him out, to be forfworn. 
 When 'tis lay*d hand's upon, And kiji. 
 To be betrayed, and fold, like Qhrifi. 
 
 Thefe are the virtues, in whole name, 
 A Right to all the World, you claim : 
 And boldly challenge a Dominion, 
 la Grace, and Nature, © 7 re all Women. 
 Of whom no lels will latisfie, 
 Then ail the Sex, your Tyranny. 
 Although you'l find it, a Hard Province, 
 With all your Crafty Frauds, and Covins, 
 To Govern fiich a num'rous Crew, 
 Who one by one now governs you, 
 For if you all were Solomons, 
 And Wife and Great as he was once. 
 
Anfiver to the Knight. 275 
 
 You'l find Th'are able to fubdue, 
 (As they did him) and baffle you, 
 
 And if you are impos'd upon, 
 'Tis by your own Temptation done : 
 That with your Ignorance invite, 
 And teach us how to ufe the flight. 
 For when we find y' are ftill moft taken, 
 JVithfalfe Attracts of om own makings 
 Swear that's a Roft and that a Stone, 
 Like Sots to us that laid it on, 
 And what we did but (lightly prime, 
 Moll ignorantly daub in Rhime : 
 You force us in our own defences, 
 To Copy Beams and Influences, 
 To lay Perfections on and Graces, 
 And draw Attracts upon our faces ; 
 
 S 3 And 
 
ay 6 The Ladies Anfoer 
 
 And in compliance to your wit, 
 Your own falfe Jewels counterfeit. 
 For by the Practice of thole Arts, 
 We gain a greater fhare of Hearts, 
 And thofe defer re inreafbn moft, 
 
 That greateft pains and ftudy coft, 
 For great Perfections are like Heav'n, 
 Too rich a Prefent to be given : 
 Nor are thofe Majler-Jlrokes of Beauty, 
 To be perform'd, without hard dray. 
 Which when th' are nobly done and well, 
 The fimple Natural excell. 
 
 How fair and fweet, the Planted Rcfe, 
 Beyond the Wild in Hedges grows ? 
 For without Art the Noblefr. Seeds 
 
 Of Flow'rs, degenerate to Weeds ; 
 
 . \ •• .... . ■ . 
 
 How 
 
To the Knight. 277 
 
 How Dul and Rugged, 'ere 'tis Ground, 
 And Polifh'd looks a Diamond ? 
 Though Parndife were ere fo fair, 
 It was not kept fb, without Care, 
 The whole World without Art, m&Drefi, 
 Would be but one great IVildernefs. 
 And Mankind but a Savage Heard, 
 For all that Nature has ConfercL 
 That do's but Rough-hew, and Dejign, 
 Leave Art to Polijb, and Refine. 
 
 r 
 
 Though Women firft were made for Men. 
 Yet Men were made for them agen : 
 For when ( out mtted by his iVift ) 
 Man firft turn'd Tenant, but, for life. 
 If Women had not Interven'd, 
 How foon had Mankind had an end } 
 
 m 
 
278 The Ladies Anfiper 
 
 — \ — — 
 
 And that it is in Being yet, 
 To us alone, you are in Debt. 
 Then where's your Liberty of Choyce, 
 And our unnatural No-voyce ? 
 Since all the Vriviledge you TSoaft, 
 And Falfly ufurp'd, or vainly loft : 
 Is now our Right, to whofe Creation, 
 You ow your Happy Reftoration. 
 And if we had not weighty Caufe 
 To not Appear, in making Laws, 
 We could, in fpight of all your Tricks, 
 And (hallow, Formal \ Politicks*, 
 Force, you our Managements t* obey, 
 As we to yours ( in fhew ) give way. 
 Hence 'tis, that while you vainly ftrivej 
 T ? advance your high Prerogative. 
 You bafely, after all your Braves, 
 Submit, and own your (elves, our Slaves. 
 
 And 
 
To the Knight. 279 
 
 And caufe we do not make it known 
 Nor PuHickly our Intrefts own 
 Like Sots, fuppofe we have no fharos 
 In Ordr'mg you, and your A fairs : 
 When all your Empire, and Command 
 You have from us, at Second Hand. 
 As if a Pilot, that appears 
 To fit ftill only, while he ftear's : 
 And does not make a Noyle, and ftir, 
 Like every Common Mariner : 
 Knew nothing of the Card, nor Star, 
 And did not Guide the Man of war-. 
 Nor we, becaufe we do'nt appeare 
 In Councils, do not govern there. 
 While like the Mighty Prefier fahn 
 Whole Perfbn, none dare's look upon : 
 But is Preferv'd in Qlofe Dijguife, 
 From being made cheap to vulgar eye si 
 
si8o The Ladie? Anfrver 
 
 W' Injoy as large a Pow'r, unfeen, 
 To Govern hitn, as He dos men. 
 And in the Right of our Pope f one, 
 Make Emperors, at our Feet, fell down. 
 Ox f one the PucePs Braver Name, 
 Our Right to 4rms, and Conduct chime 
 Who, though a Spin/ler, yet was Able 
 To ferve France, for a Grand Con fl able. 
 
 We make and Execute all Laws., 
 Cm fudge the fudges, and the Caufe. 
 Prefcribe all Rules, of Right, or Wrong, 
 To xtiLmg-Robe, and the Longer Tongue : 
 'Gain'ft which the world has no Defence, 
 But our more Vow'-rful Eloquence. 
 We Manage things of Greateft weight, 
 
 In all the world's Affairs of State. 
 
 Are 
 
To the Knight 28 
 
 Are Minifters in War, and Peace, 
 That (way dl Nations how we Pleafe, 
 We rule all Churches, and their Flocks, 
 Heretical, and Orthodox. 
 And are die Heavenly vehicles, 
 O' th' Spirit, in all conventicles. 
 By us is all Commerce , and Trade, 
 Improved, and Mana£d, aud Dtca/d. 
 
 For nothing can go of, lb well, 
 Nor bears that Price, as what we Set!. 
 We Rule in ev'ry Publique Meeting, 
 And make Men do, what we Judge Fitting 
 Are Magiftrates, in all great Towns, 
 Where Men do nothing, but wear Gowns. 
 We make die Man of fVarftrih Sxi/, 
 And to our Braver Conduct vail. 
 And, when H'ha'schacM his Enemies, 
 Submit to us, upon his Knees. 
 
 2s 
 
2§2 The Ladies Anfiver 
 
 Is there an Officer of Stat a, 
 Untimely Raipd 5 or Magiftrate, 
 That's Haughty, and Imperious ? 
 He's but %.jfor»y-man to us. 
 That as he^ives-us Gaufe to Do't, 
 Can keep him in, or turn him out. 
 
 We are your Guardians, that increafe. 
 Or waft your Fortunes, how we Pleafe, 
 And as you Humour us, can Deal, 
 In all your Matters, ill or well. 
 
 Tis wee, that can Difpofe alone, 
 Whether your /&/rj fhall be your own. 
 To whofe Integrity, youmuft. 
 In fpight of all your Caution, truft. 
 And 'lefs you Fly beyond the Seas : 
 Can fit you with what Heirs we Pleafe. 
 
 And 
 
To the Knight. 285 
 
 And force you t'own 'em ; Though Begotten 
 
 By French Valets, or Iriflj Foot'men. 
 
 Nor can the Rigoroufeft Courie, 
 
 Prevail, unlefs to make us woife. 
 
 Who ftill the harfher we are us'd, 
 
 Are Further off from being Reduc'd : 
 
 And (corn t' Abate, for any Ills, 
 
 The leaft Punt i Rio of our fVills. 
 
 Force do's but whet our wits to Apply 
 
 Arts, "born with us, for Remedy : 
 
 Which all your Politicks as yet, 
 
 Have ne're been Able to Defeat : 
 
 For when y'have Try'd all forts of ways 
 
 IVhat Fools D'we make of you in VUys ? 
 
 JVhile all the Favors we Afford. 
 
 jire hut to Girt you with the Sword, 
 
 To Fight our Battels, in our Jleads 
 
 And have your Brains, beat out $ pur ffwds 
 
 /mounter 
 
284 * A* Ladies Anfwer 
 
 Incounter in defpite of Nature , 
 
 And fight at oncej with Fire y and IVater, 
 
 IVtth PyratSy Rocks^ and Storms, and Seas; 
 
 Our Pride, aud vanity f appeafe. 
 
 Kill one another, And cut throats; 
 
 For our Good Graces, and befi Thoughts; 
 
 To do your Fxerc/fe for Honor 
 
 And have your Brains beat out) thefoonerj 
 
 Orcrackt, as Learnedly r , upon 
 
 Tilings that are never to he known y 
 
 And ft ill appear the more Jnduftrious 
 
 The more your Projects, are Vrepoftrous. 
 
 To Square the Circle of the Arts; f 
 
 And Run ft ark-mad, to fljew your Parts. 
 
 Expound the Oracle of Laws, 
 
 And turn *em, which way, we fee Qauje. 
 
 To be our Solicitors, and Agents, 
 
 And ft and 'fir us, in all Engagements; 
 
 And 
 
To the Knight, 285 
 
 And thefe are all the Mighty Powers, 
 You vainly Boaft, to cry down ours 
 And what in real Value's wanting, 
 Supply with vapouring and Ranting : 
 Becaufe your felves are Terrifyd, 
 And Stoop to one anothers Pride : 
 Believe we have as little Wit, 
 To be Out-Hector* d, and Submit : 
 By your Example Loofe that Right, 
 In Treaty s 7 which we Gain'd in Fight. 
 
 And Terrify'd into an Awe, 
 Pais on our felves a Salique Law : 
 
 Or, as fome Nations ufe, Give Place, 
 
 And Truckle, to your Mighty Race : 
 
 LetMenufurpTh'unjuft Dominion, 
 
 As if they were the Better Women. 
 
 FINIS. 
 

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