Class COEXRIGUT OEPOSm elieve Me XMrtip 'ERICK BALLARD FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York ■:'.i^'W€y^sw^m,f'^M "i^Tr^m-: ■.ym ,W Believe Me, Xantippe A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS BY FREDERICK BALLARD Copyrighted U. S. A. and Great Britain by J. F. Ballard Copyright, 1918, By Samuel French ALL EIGHTS EESERVED CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that Belie\t] Me, Xantippe, being fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to royalty, and anyone presenting the play without the consent of the author or his authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Applications for the amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York. Applications for the professional acting rights must be made to the American Play Company, 33 West 42nd Street, New York. Nrw^ YoBK SAMUEL FRENCH PUBLISHTB 28-30 West 38th STREET LOWDOW SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 26 Southampton Stmbk STRAND Especial notice should be taken that the posseasioR ©f this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher, confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance of it may be given, except by special arrangement with Samuel French. SECTION 28.— That any person who wilfully or for profit shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, or who shall knowingly and wilfully aid or abet such infringement, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by im- prisonment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine of not less than one hundred dollars nor more than one thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the court. Act of March 4. 1909. V 25 1918 £)C1.0 49G77 TO WILLSIE AND DAVID BELIEVE HE, XANTIPPE THE ORIGINAL CAST As produced at The Thirty-Ninth Street Theatre, New York CitM. George MacFarland Mr. John Barryinore Arthur Sole Mr. Alonzo Price Thornton Brown Mr. Henry Hull " Buck " Kamman Mr. Theodore Roberts " Simp " Calloway Mr. Frank Campeaii " Wrenn " Rtgley Mr. At. Roberts William Air. M. Tello Webb Martha Mr. Alpha Beyers Violet Aliss Kathcrine Harris Dolly Kamman Miss Mary Young CHARACTERS George MacFarland Of New York Thornton Brown His friend William MacFarland' s Valet Arthur Sole Detective " Buck " Kamman A Colorado Sheriff " Wrenn " His jailer " Simp " Kalloway A desperado Dolly Kamman Buck's daughter Martha Her aunt Violet Sirup's friend Place: A^^^^t' York and Coiorado Time: The present 5 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Act I. Oct. 7th. MacFarland's apartments in New York. Act II. Sept. 30th, the following year. A hunting shack in southwestern Colorado. Act III. Two days later. The County Jail at Delta, Colorado. Act IV. Four days later. The same. Believe Me, Xantippe ACT I Scene: George MacFarland's bachelor apart- ments at Sherry's, New York City. A well furnished room with two entrances — l. 3, door leading to bedroom; rear R., door leading to vestibule, l. 2, fireplace. R. 2, window. Table down center. Telephone desk, near r. 2, window. The room is discovered, lighted. There is a slight pause, then MacFarland. (Angrily, off l. 3) William! (Enter William, the valet, from vestibule, rear door R. c. Sharply) William! William. (Deliberately, as he gases towards L. 3) Yes, sir. MacFarland. (Angrily) Where are my shirt- studs ? William. The burglars stole them, sir. MacFarland. (Savagely) Hang the burglars ! William. Yes, sir, I would if I could catch them, sir. (Starts to exit) MacFarland. (Angrily) William! William. (Re-entering) Yes, sir. MacFarland. Where is Minerva? William. Who? MacFarland. (Loud and angry) My cameo stick-pin. W^iLLTAM. The burglars got that, too, sir. MacFarland. (Hotly) I'll be — is there any- thing the burglars didn't get? 7 8 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE William. {Deliherately, as before) Not that I know of, sir. {Do or -he II rings.) MacFarland. (Angrily) Answer the bell! Thank the Lord they didn't get that. William. Yes, sir. MacFarland. (Sarcastically, as William is exiting) It's probably a policeman coming to ex- plain why he hasn't caught the burglars. (Exit Wil- liam, rear i.) (Brown enters, rear d. follozved by William. Brown is a well-drefssed lazvyer of thirty.) Brown. Mr. MacFarland in? William. He's dressing, sir. (Brown gives hat and stick to Williaai who exits rear. ) Brown. (Calling off l. jovially) Hello, George ! MacFarland. (Off-stage, somezvhat groiichily) Who's that? Brown. Thornt. (Enter MacFarland, l. 3. MacFarland is a wealthy young bachelor — good looking, likable. Wears a loose dressing gozvn.) MacFarland. Hello, Thornt! (Crosses R. to zvindozv, kneels and begins looking on floor for cameo pin — crazvls around on knees) Brown. What are you looking for? IMacFarland. Minerva. The burglars took her. Brown. Then what's the use of looking for her? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 9 MacFarland. The}^ might have dropped her as they crawled through this window. Brown. Nonsense ! MacFarland. (Testily) Burglars have been known to drop things, haven't they? Brown. Have the officers caught them yet? MacFarland. (Rising) No, and they never will, not in a hundred years ! (He takes cigar from box on table, bites end off angrily and lights cigar) Brown. (IVho has been watching him, amused, from in front of fireplace) Why this sudden effu- sion of optimism? MacFarland. (r. glancing at him, sharply) Cut the comedy. Brown. How much of it? MacFarland. All of it! (He paces r. toward telephone table) .Brown. (Dryly) Aren't you well? MacFarland. Fm sore. Brown. Where? MacFarland. (Pacing l., front) All over. Brown. You must have been here when the burglars arrived. MacFarland. (Glancing at him sharply, from R.) I wish I had been. I would have caught them. (Paces R. angrily) Brown. Is it too late now ? MacFarland. It wouldn't be if there were any policemen in New York. Brow^n. (Puzsled, surprised) Any policemen? MacFarland. (Sits r. c.) That's what I said. Brown. The streets are full of them. I passed ten as I came up here. MacP^arland. (Going towards him, from lozver r.) You mean you passed ten uniforms. I'm talk- ing about policemen — officers of the law — things that have brains and use them. Brown. Now look here, George. Simply because 10 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE the police haven't captured the burglars v/ho robbed this apartment MacFarland. It isn't just this apartment; it's all apartments. They never catch the burglars. They're a bunch of sleepy overfed house-cats. All of them. Brown. George, I'm a lawyer and the police are my best friends. MacFarland. I don't care what you are. They are about as intelligent as a soft-shell crab. Be- lieve me, Xantippe, a soft-shell crab! Brown. Then why don't you hire a detective? MacFarla:^:d. They're worse than the police. (Sits R. c.) Thornt, the rank and file of detectives in this country are a bunch of fakers. (With sup- pressed anger crossing to Brown) Do you want me to tell you what's the matter with the United States ? Brown. (Somewhat sarcastically) I suppose it's the detectives, MacFarland. Not altogether. Brown. The police, then. MacFarland. They help, but Brov/n. But what? MacFarland. The great arm of the law — the thing that reaches out and seizes criminals and drags them into the courts — the great arm of the law in this country is paralyzed. Brown. (Challengingly) Is it? MacFarland. That's what I said ! Not only the arm itself but the fingers of the arm — (Holding out fingers of right hand and turning them down one by one during follozving) Police, detectives, sheriffs, deputy sheriffs, town marshals. No good, absolutely no good ! Brown. (Dryly) That's what you think. MacFarland. (Hotly and aggressively) All right, then why is it that every time the arm reaches out to get a criminal it gets left ? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ii Brown. It doesn't. It gets the criminal. JMacFarland. It does like Brown. Our penitentaries are pretty well filled, aren't they? MacFarland. {Leveling finger at him) Why? Because criminals are like all other professional men. There are bound to be a few blockheads among them ; and the blockheads get caught. Brown. And only the blockheads, I suppose? MacFarland. If a crook isn't a blockhead, there's no more danger of his being caught than there is of a whale being crushed to death by a jelly-fish. I tell you, Thornt, a man of average intelligence and a little common sense can commit crime day in and day out in this country and get away with it. (Brown laughs heartily) You don't believe me, do you? Brown. I certainly do not. MacFarland. Why, confound it, Thornt, even you who could never keep away from anything in your life, you could keep away from the officers of the law. Brown. You couldn't. MacFarland. {Quickly and defiantly) I couldn't, eh? How much will you bet I couldn't? Brown. {Somewhat impatient zvith him. Rises) If you keep on talking, George, something interest- ing is going to happen. MacFarland. {Hotly) How much will you bet that I can't dodge every officer in this country? Brown. {Dryly) How many of them? MacFarland. All of them. Detectives ! Police ! Sheriffs ! Deputy Sheriffs ! All of them ! — How much will you bet ? Brown. How long can you dodge them? MacFarland. A week, a month, a year — any- thing you like. I haven't anything to do. 12 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Brown. How will you prove you can dodge them ? MacFarland. By doing it. I'll fake up a crime and get the officers on my trail. Then I'll show you what a man with a little common sense can do when the law tries to get him. Brown. (Frozvnhig, gravely) For how long did you sa}/? MacFarland. A 3/ear! Brown. A year is a long time, George. MacFarland. I have ten thousand "dollars that says I can do it. Brown. (After pause, during zuhich lie studies MacFarland) Are you in earnest? MacFarland. Just to prove I'm in earnest, I'll give you odds of two to one. Brown. George, I never took advantage of a monomaniac before, but I'm going to take advantage of one now. MacFarland. All right, sir. (Jerks check-book from desk r. and slaps it on r. end of table) Brown. (Calmly taking out check-book. He is iiozv L. end of table) Ten thousand? MacFarland. That's what I said. Brown. (Taking fountain pen from vest pocket as MacFarland takes Jiis) Two to one? MacFarland. (Jerking back chair from table) Two to one ! (He drops into chair and begins to write check rapidly.^, Brown calmly seats himself l. of table) Brown. (As he unites check calmly) I am going to teach you a lesson, George. MacFarland. (Quickly) And I'm going to teach you one. (As he blots check by noisily pound- ing blotter with fist) — Don't you want to make it twenty thousand instead of ten? Brown. (As he blots his check carefully) For your sake, no ! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 13 MacFarland. Never mind me. I can spare it. Brown. Very well, then. MacFarland. {Eagerly) You'll take it? Brown. No, but a friend of mine will. IMacFarland. (Rapidly) Who? Get him. Quick. Who is he? Brown. Arthur Sole. MacFarland. Shoeman? Brown. Detective. MacFarland. Burns or Pinkerton? Brown. Neither. He has a company of his own. MacFarland. Great ! Brown. {Rising) I shall ask him to come right over. MacFarland. Do ! The sooner he comes, the sooner I can get started on my little twelve month marathon. Brown. (As he crosses to 'phone table) It won't be twelve months. MacFarland. It won't, eh? Brown. (As he picks up 'phone) No. It'll be about tvv^enty-four hours. MacFarland. (Defiantly, as he takes fresh cigar from box c.) Will it! (During the follozv- ing, he lights cigar and smokes it) Brown. (In 'phone) Plaza 9087 — Yes — (Imita- tion) 9087 — if you please — Hello — 9087 Plaza? — Mr. Sole, please — Arthur? This is Thornt. A friend of mine has a foolish notion lodging in one of his brain cells, Art, and I want you to help me .G^et it out — Come over and I'll explain — George MacFarland's suite at Sherry's — Good-bye. (To MacFarland as he hangs up receiver) Pie will be right over. MacFarland. (Taking out fountain pen again) All right! I'll have that ten thousand waiting for him, believe me — (Pause, open's check-hook and prepares to write second check. Brown, meanwhile, 14 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE has placed 'phone on table, and during follozvmg, crosses to fireplace) Brown. George, you have convinced me of one thinfj. MacFarland. I'm glad of that. What is it? BroVvN. Either you need medical attention or you are in love. MacFarland, I never felt better in my life and there isn't a woman in New York I would look at. Brown. (LigJiting a cigarette) You talk as if you were immune. MacFarland. No — No man's immune to falling in love, but the woman who annexes my name must have brains. Brown. You mean a college degree? MacFarland. I mean brains-- Sometimes you find them with a college degree. (Abandoning his aggressiveness and assuming a confidential, though still emphatic air. Sits r. of table) What I admire in a woman, Thornt — and what my wife must have — is the ability to think for herself — she's got to have that little something we call life — vivacity, alertness — you know. Not this giddiness you see on the beaches, or the tee-hee ha-ha of the debutante. It has got to be the real article. L-i--f-e and B-r-a-i-n-s. Brown. You wouldn't know her if you saw her. MacFarland. Not at first sight, maybe, but I would soon find her out. I have the reputation of being a pretty clever man, even if I am called a rich idler. But, believe me, Xantippe ! when I pit myself against the future Mrs. MacFarland, she is going to make me feel about as insignificant as a mosquito on the brow of the Goddess of Liberty. If she doesn't, she won't be Mrs. MacFarland, that's all. Brown. And if she does MacFarland. She will be Mrs. MacFarland in spite of high-tide or hell. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 15 [Door-bell rings in a peculiar way.) Brown. (Rising) There's Sole now. MacFarland. (As William enters from door L.) How can you tell? Brown. (As William goes to rear door) The way he rings. (William opens door at rear and stands. Enter Arthur Sole. Sole is a detective — tall, slender, stern face, quiet manners. Forty-five. Brown salutes him familiarly. William closes door behind Sole) Arthur, I want you to meet my friend, MacFarland. Sole. {Deliberately, to MacFarland as they shake hands) Are you the gentleman who has the notion lodged under your brain cell? Brown. (As MacFarland offers Sole cigar- bo.t') Yes, he thinks that every officer of the law in the United States is a jelly-fish. MacFarland. (To Brown) I didn't say jelly- fish — 1 said a soft-shell crab. (To Sole) Have a cigar. (To Brown, as Sole takes cigar) See, they take anything. Sole. (Pledsantly, to MacFarland, as he trims cigar) So you think every officer is a soft-shell crab? MacFarland. Yes, and Fm willing to prove it, (He shozvs Sole second check) Sole. What is the game? MacFarland. I say I can commit a crime and escape arrest one year. Sole. Without leaving the United States? MacFarland. (Business-like) Yes — here's my proposition: I will commit a crime. That makes me a criminal. I will avoid arrest. That makes me a fugitive from justice. You advertise me in the Rogues' Gallery as you would advertise any other criminal — offer a reward for my capture, do any- thing you please. And yet I shall escape arrest one i6 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE year. If I don't, you two win. If I do, you two lose. Have I made myself clear? Sole. {Nodding) Yes, but I am too much of a sportsman to take money from the blind. MacFarlaxd. I beg your pardon! Sole. A true sportsman never bets on a sure thing. MacFarland. {Quickly and somewhat heatedly) So vou think Fm a sure loser, eh? Sole. {Laying kis hand friendly on MacFar- land's shoulder) My friend, just to prove to you that I have abiding confidence in the strong arm of the law, I will bet you — What's your bet? MacFarland. Ten thousand dollars. Sole. I'll bet you twenty thousand dollars even money, that if my detectives don't get you, a police- man, a town marshal, a sheriff or a deputy sheriff will get you. MacFarland. The quickest way to prove that is to put up your twenty thousand. {Seats himself quickly at l. end of table and jerking out check-hook and pen, begins to zvrite check) (Sole, shaking his head sympathetically, smiles at MacFarland and sits r. end of table. As Sole sits, MacFarland rises and goes to lozver L., thoughtfidly. Brown is at lozver l.) Brown. {To MacFarland, ziith formal air, as Sole prepares to zvrite check) What crime are you going to commit? MacFarland. {Solicitously, as he approaches Sole) Mr. Sole, for what crime have fewest men been shot? Sole. {As he zvrites) Forgery. MacFarland. Thanks. {To Brown, zvith formal air) Gentlemen, the crime will be forgery. Brown. {Dryly) Have you ever done it before? MacFarland. No, but I know how. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 17 Brown. What are you going to forge? MacFarland. a check. Brown. On whom? MacFarland. On you. Brown. (Bowled over with stir prise) Eh? MacFarland. Only a hundred. The City National Bank. You deposit there, don't you? Brovs^n. Yes, but MacFarland. Good! I'll make the check out to myself — George E. — (To Sole, zvho is nozv listening) What is a good alias? Sole. MacGinniss. MacFarland. That's it ! George E. MacGinniss — Irish patriot. (To Brown. Sole sits and writes) I'll make the check for one hundred dollars payable to George E. MacGinniss and sign your name to it. Then Sole will cash it for me, right here. To- morrow mornino- he'll ta.ke it to the City National: the Cashier there will compare the signature on the check with your signature already registered at the bank ; will declare it a forgery, and an hour later detectives and officers will be scouring the city for George E. MacGinniss — me. Meanwhile, Mac- Ginniss, — / — will have begun his little twelve-month joy-hike. And the big chase will be on. Do you get me? Sole. Yes, I get you now and I zvill get you later. MacFarland. (Sits at ftp-side of table, then to Brown) Give me your check-book. (Brown does so and goes back of table.) Sole. (To Brown, as he begins to write check) Are you to be our stake-holder? Brown. I suppose so. (Sole hands him his check.) i8 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacFarland. {To Sole, as Brown picks up MacFarland's last check) And you're to be our stake-holder — Thornt's and mine. Sole. All right. (Brown hands him his check and MacFarland hands him his first check. As Brown and Sole place checks in wallets, MacFarland resumes his forgery.) MacFarland. (To Brown, as he takes Brown's check from him as model to forge Brown's najne by) YoiL s\7:ar this is your signature? Brovvn. I do. (Puts up zvrong hand to szvear by, then changes) MacFarland. (As he writes the check, copying Brown's zvriting closely) Gentlemen, the coming year promises to be pleasantly exciting. Something doing every minute — new scenery, new faces, new experiences. It certainly should be an eventful year. Sole. (Satirically) It will be. MacFarland. For you two gentlemen it will be an expensive year. Brown. (To Sole) He really thinks he's going to win. Sole. (Winking at Bvs.o\ni^) Watch him! MacFarland. (Handing the forged check to Sole) Gentlemen, there's the crime ! Forgery with intent to defraud. Sole. (Giv^s MacFarland one hundred dollar bill) And there's your hundred. (As he takes the check, examining it, MacFarland rises) A very neat job. MacFarland. (Glancing at the check, zvhich Brown is also glancing at) You never saw a neater job in your life, did you? Sole. Don't know that I ever did. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 19 MacFarland. See ! Sole. That is, for an amateur. (As he places forged check in pocket-hook, to MacFarland) How tall are you? MacFarland. Six foot half inch. .Sole. Who says so? MacFarland. My tailor. Sole. {As he takes small silver-plated tape- measure from vest pocket) I am afraid your tailor flatters you. (He measures MacFarland, deftly, with tape — then) I thought so. MacFarland. How much? Sole. Six feet even. (To Brown, as he hands him a note book) Make a note of that. Under MacGinniss. Be careful. Accuracy is the secret of my success. (During the follozving, Brown seated at desk R. registers Sole's statements of measure- ments, observations, etc., concerning MacFarland, in note-book which Sole takes from inside coat pocket and gives to him. To MacFarland) What is yoLir specific gravity? MacFarland. (Pitzsled) My what? Sole. Hovv^ much do you weigh? MacFarland. One forty-eight. Sole. Stripped ? MacFarland. Dressed. Sole. (Smiling to Brown) Weight, one hun- dred forty-eight gross. (To MacFarland, as he measures his head) How old are you? MacFarland. Twenty-eight. Sole. Open your mouth. (MacFarla.nd does so. Sole looks at front teeth much as a horse trader looks at horses' teetJi. Then, to Brown) Age, twenty-eight years, three months, sixteen days. (E.i'amining tape) Girth of head, twenty-two inches Brown. To-day? MacFarland. It will be larger when I collect that thirtv thousand dollars. 20 BELIEVE AIE, XANTIPPE (Sole places tape in vest pocket, then takes out a nickel-plated pocket-size incandescent fask- lantern.) Sole. {To MacFarland) Open your mouth again. (jNIacFarland does so. Sole examines it zvith lantern) Teeth — second molar, upper left, mJssino-. Third molar Q-old filled. Otherwise, teeth sound and well swept. (He takes magnifying ten's from z'est pocket, zvipes it with handkerchief, tests it on hand, then, opening MacFarland's mouth again, examines the teeth closely, with lens and lantern) He washes his teeth with Hydrogen Peroxide and smokes straight Havanas. MacFarland. How did you guess? Sole. You just gave me one. (Replacing lens in pocket, he holds the lantern close to ^^JacFar- land's rigJit eye) Eyes — shape, round— size — (He takes a small pair of silver plated calipers from anotJier vest pocket, adjusts them, then places them carefully upon right eye of MacFarland) Size of eyes — right eye, diameter five-eighths ; left eye, six- eighths. MacFarland. Odd sizes. Sole. Color — both eyes, baby-blue. Nose MacFarland. Don't miss that. Sole. Length — (Measuring with calipers, tip to base) Total — tip to base, two and three-fourths. MacFarland. Feet or inches? Sole. Make that inches. Width of nose — base, one and two-tenths inch ; bridge, one — butt, one and one-half. Brown, How much the butt? Sole. One and one-half. Shape — a cross be- tween a John D. Rockefeller and a Gibson girl (MacFarland pats his nose fondly) Hair — color, brown. Texture, fine to medium. Parts it on the left side. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 21 MacFarland. Marvelous. Sole. (Examining scalp zvith lens and lantern) Uses Ed. Pinaud's Florida Water, and tortoise-shell comb. (To MacFarland, as he replaces lens in vest pocket) May I see one of your photographs? MacFarland. Certainly. (As he goes to door) You didn't get my temperature. Sole. I will when you pay that thirty thousand dollars. (Exit MacFarland l. 3. Quietly, to Brown) Has he a steady girl? Brown. He hasn't any. Sole. (Frozvning) That's going to make him a hard man to catch. Brown. Why? Sole. It puts the kibosh on the old reliable love- letter post-office trap. (He scratches his head wor- riedly) Has he a favorite expression? Brown. Yes. Sole. Biblical or slang? Brown. Slang. Sole. What is it? Brown. Believe me, Xantippe ! Sole. Believe me, Xantippe? Brown. Yes. Sole. (Who has been keeping an alert ear and eye on the l. door) Sh 1 Make a note of it! Great ! (Re-enter MacFarland zvith an arm-load of photo- graphs.) MacFarland. (As he dumps photos on table) From the cradle to the club. Take yoru" choice. Sole. (As he examines photos quickly, compar- ing them zvith MacFarland and selecting one) 1 think I'll take this one. MacFarland. Anything else? Sole. (Putting photo in pocket) I believe not — except perhaps a word of advice. (Pauses) 22 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacFarlaxd. What is it? Sole. When yon are arrestecl- i^.iAcFAP.LAND. AMiat? Sole. I say— when 3'ou are arrested, wire me. If you don't, you are liable to wind up in the peni- tentiary. i\lAcPARLAND. (Quickly) What's that? Sole. I s^iy, wire me or you are liable to wiuvd up in the penitentiary. MacFarland. How ? W^hy ? Sole. Because you are a criminal. MacFarland. Not really one. Sole. Yes, really one. I just cashed your forged check. MacFarland. But you and Thornt know that — Sole. Exactly ! Thornt and I know, but no one else knows it and if you should ever try to explain it to a jury, the chances are you would get a life sentence in the insane asylum instead of ten years in Sing Sing. MacFarland. (Stroking his face musinnl\, and smiling) This is beginning to look like the real thing. Sole. It will be the real thing if you don't wire me the minute you are arrested. Now, if you do wire, Thornt and I will fix it up with the proper authorities and keep you out of the penitentiary. MacFarland. That's very sweet of you and Thornt, but I won't wire. Brown. (Astonished) Wliy? MacFarlaisD. Simply because I'm not going to be arrested. Sole. (PVith an air of one dismissing the zuhch subject) Of course, if that is the way you feci about it MacFarland. That is the way I feel about it — Oh, before it slips my mind ! One point ! Sole. What is it? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 23 MacFarland. It's distinctly understood, isn't it, that there's to be absolutely no shooting in this little experiment ? Sole. There won't be any unless you start it. MacFarland. Thanks. I won't start it. vSoLE. {Glancing at zvatch) Now you will have until nine o'clock to-morrow morning to make your getaway. MacFareand. I can do it easily. Sole. This is October 5th. After nine o'clock to- morrow morning you'll be a fugitive from justice until nine A. M. October 6th, next year. MacFariand. Good ! Shall I send for your hats ? Brown. (Smiling) We're in no hurry. MacFarland. I am. William! Sole. {To IMacFarland) Just a moment. MacFarland. (To WTlliam, zvho.has entered rear i) Just a moment. William. Yes, sir. (Exit rear 1) Sole. (Confidentially to Mx\cFarland, Brown listening close by) If the facts of this foolish little experiment were to get out, it might cast some dis- credit on my profession. In fact, it would probably injure my business. Therefore, I am going to ask you to promise me that under all circumstances and at all times you will treat the matter with utmost secrecy. Will you promise? MacFarland. Yes, but upon one condition. Sole. What? MacFarland. That you and Brown don't ride in any aeroplanes or try to swim the East River. Sole. What do you mean? MacFarland. The way things are hooked up now, if anything should happen to you and Brown, I would land in the penitentiary. So, for heaven's sake, be good little mothers to yourselves, and look both ways before crossing a street. Promise? 24 BELIEVE ME, Xx\NTIPPE (^.IacFarland and Sole sJiakc hands.) Sole. {To MacFarland) All right. Now bring on the hats. ]MacFarlaxd. William! {Enter William) Fetch the gentlemen their hats. William. Yes, sir. (Exits) Sole. Oh, by the way, ]\IcGinniss MacFarland. Eh? Sole. During your travels, you might drop us a line from to time. MacFarland. A picture postal, I suppose Scr.E. Yc3 — something like that — just a little remeirxb ranee, you know. (Rc-cntcr William zcifh hats.) MacFarland. With my address on it? That would be very nice for you. Do I look like little Eva after a hard season? Sole. (Taking Jiis hat zdiich William offers to him)' The chances are you will the next time I see you. MacFarland. (To Sole. t7^' Brown takes hat from William) Next time you see me. Fll be writing a receipt for those thirty thousand dollar checks. Brown. (As tJiree of them go tozL'ards rear door zcJiere William stands) Not in a thousand years ! MacFarland. Just one year from to-day. Sole. (To ^IacFarland, ph-asantly, as William opens rear door) Pleasant journey. Raffles ! ]\IacFarland. Thank you, ]Mr. FTolmes. Brown. (As Sole exits, to ]\IacFarland) And many of them. Desperate Desmond! ^IacFarland. Thank you, Dr. Watson. (Exit Brown. AIacFarland goes quickly to desk r.) \Mlliam. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 25 William. Yes, sir. MacFarland. Shut the door. (Sits at desk and writes rapidly) I am leaving town to-morrow. William. Yes, sir. MacFarland. I shall be gone a year. William. Yes, sir. MacFarland. If anyone inquires for me, tell them that I am — that I am traveling. William. Yes, sir. Where, sir? MacFarland. None of your business, William, or theirs, either. William. Yes, sir. Is that all, sir? MacFarland. No, fetch me the latest time-table of every railroad in the United States. William. Yes, sir. When, sir? MacFarland. Now— right now. Hurry. If you can't do it alone, get an expressman to help you. William. (Hastening to rear d.) Yes, sir. (Door hell rings.) MacFarland. See who it is. William. Yes, sir. (Exits rear d. Returning) Mr. Brown and Mr. Sole returning, sir. MacFarland. (Surprised) That's strange. Show them in. (Exit William rear i. Mac- Farland rises, glances at watch, then relights cigar) (Re-enter Sole, followed by Brown, rear d. They carry their hats.) Sole. (Coming dozvn l. and exhibiting photo taken from coat pocket) The more I think of this photograph, the less I think of it. MacFarland. (Now at r. end of table. Sole at uh-side. Brown at l. end) What's wrong with it? ' 26 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Sole. Everything. I think I'd better take one myself. (Tosses photo on tabic) MacFarland. Have you a camera with you? Sole. I always have one with me. jNIacFarland. (As Sole takes small kodak from pocket) You'll bring a rabbit out of yourself in a minute. vSole. Please put on a coat. MacFarland. Certainly. (Starts up tozuards L.3) Sole. And a vest. MacFarland. Yes. I have my trousers on. (Goes off. Brovv'n and Sole start to ivhisper. Mac- Farland re-entering) Black or wdiite? Sole. To match your coat. MacFarland. Of course, certainly — to match my coat. (Exit l. 3) Brov/n. (Brown glances slyly l. 3, then steps close to Sole, zvho is adjusting kodak lens) I've got an idea. Let's play a little joke on him. We'll lock the doors and keep him here till morning. (Sole glances cautiously at l. 3.) Sole. (Sotto voce, to Brown) I've got a better scheme than that. (Brown glances l. 3.) Brown. (Curious, and anxious, in whisper) What is it? (Sole and Brown now stand at up-side of table zvith their hacks to L. 3. They are close to- gether. Sole glances at l. 3. Brown glances there, then Sole begins to speak.) Sole. (To Brown, sotto voce) I'll have my BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 27 men watch this house all night. When MacFarland — MacGinniss — comes out of the house, my men will shadow him until the clock strikes nine, then they'll nab our foxy friend before he starts. Brown. Great ! Sole. Sh! (He glances at h. 2,, then) Waiting! MacFarland. (Off l.) All right, coming! (Enters l. 3, in act of putting on coat) Sole. (As MacFarland comes dozvn, buttoning tip vest) May I use this tray for my flash-light? MacFarland. Certainly. Sole. (As he places flash-light cartridge, taken from pocket, on tray, to Brown) Get ready to turn out the lights. MacFarland. (To Sole, ds he fingers Sole's hat, on l. end of table, as Brown goes up c.) Shall I wear a hat? Sole. No. MacFarland. (Picking up hat from table) Nice hat. Where'd you get it? Sole. At the hat store. MacFarland. Very well. Just as you say. (Holds Sole's hat behind him) Sole. (Finding MacFarland in lens) Chin up, please. Head erect. That's it. MacFarland. Is this for the Rogues' Gallery? Sole. (Satirically) Yes. Just look natural. (To Brown, now near rear d.) All right. Turn them out. (Brown turns off lights, leaving the room in absolute darkness. Exit MacFarland, quickly but quietly l. 3. Closes door softly. Sole touches end of flash-light fuse with lighted cigar. Explosion, flash — then) Turn on the lights. Brown. (Obeying) All right. Sole. (Still looking into the finding lens of camera) That's all, thanks. (Dramatic pause.) 28 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Brown. (Surprised) Where is he? (Sole glances ct where MacFarland was. then sin lies.) vSoLE. (Dryly, as he shoz'cs kodak into pocket) He's playing a joke on us. (Glancing at l. 3) Come out of that bedroom, MacGinniss. (Pause. Sole starts to:.'ard l. 3. Indicating rear d. To Browx) Stand at that door while I shoo him out from under the bed. (Brown skips to rear door. Exit Sole l. 3, laugh- ing. Pause. Brown stands zvith back to door, rear, eyes riveted on l. 3.) Brown. Find him? (Pause) Find him. Art? (Pause) Hey! (Sole appears in l. 3 dooi'wav) Find him? Sole. (Entering, much perplexed) No. Brown. (Anxiously, as Sole inspects Z'jindozi's, rear l.) \Vhere is he? Sole. [luipetuously) How do I know^^ Brown. (Somewhat hotly) You ought to know ; you're a detective. (Loudly, hands to mouth like a megaphone) William! William! William! Sole. Now don't get excited. Brown. I'm not excited. (Telephone rings. Brown jumps straight up, as if shot, then dashes to 'phone, seizes it and places receiver to ear. Ex- citedly, in 'phone) Hello! — Yes — Yes — (Dumb- founded) Say, where in thunder are you? — Hello, hello, hello, hello ! Sole. (Matter-of-fact, as he comes dozvn l.) Who is it ? Brown. (To Sole) G-e-o-r-g-e ! Sole. (Surprised) What? Brown. George! MacFarland! MacGinniss ! Sole. (Quickly and eagerly) Where is he? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 29 Brown. Where are you? Sole. Well — well — well ! Where ? — Brown. Pie says — find out ! Sole. You bet I'll find out. (Trying to find hat. Brown jams rece'wcr in hook and hangs 'phone on desk) Do you know what that son-of-a-giin did? Brown. What? Sole. He stole my hat ! ! {They are dashing out of room, rear door, as cur- tain falls.) Curtain 30 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ACT II Scene : The interior of a small deserted cabin in the Rocky Mountains. Tzvo entrances — Rear c, a door leading outdoors, l. 3, a door leading to another room. To l. of rear d., a zmndow covered zvith boards. In upper r. corner of room, an old hand-made cupboard zvith door on hinges. Old stone fireplace, r. 2. Heavy, home- made table, lozver center. H ome-made chairs to R. and L. of table. Box for zvash-stand, near zvindozv. On box, a tin zvash-basin and zvater bucket. Dipper in bucket but not much zi'ater. Against l. zvall, and belozv l. d., a rustic bed- stead, made of saplings nailed together. It has rope springs and is covered zvith pine boughs. Upon the lozver end of bedstead, a canvas covered camp-bed, rolled up and tied zvith rope. It is the regulation cozvpuncher's bed — but rather narrozv, same zvidth as the bedstead. Time : Late afternoon, September 30^/1, of the next year. Rear d. c. is open revealing a landscape of oak brush, aspen and pine covered mountains in all the splendor of an auitimnal sunset. At rise: Pause. Buck Kamman enters rear d. c. Kamman is a big, bronze-skinned man of fifty. Sandy moustache. Wears corduroy clothes, riding boots and a large Stetson '' sheriff's " hat. Wears leather holster and belt under coat. He goes to the table, examining the cylinder of his Colts. He glances at his zimtch. Kamman. (Glancing l. 3) Dolly! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 31 Dolly. (0# l. 3) Yes? Kamman. Pack up your duds. Dolly. (In doorzvay l. c) What for? (She is a pretty, vivacious girl of nineteen, clad in a neat buckskin skirt and leggins and a blue flannel shirt) Kamman. We are going home. Dolly. {Coming to him) Not yet, pa. Kamman. Right now. Dolly. (Shaking her head prettily) Wait until I get a deer. Kamman. A sheriil is a sheriff, Dolly. Dolly. I know it, pa, but Kamman. The Fall Term of the District Court beo-ins to-morrow. We must s:et home to-ni9"ht. Dolly. I am going to stay until I get a deer. (She turns from him) Kamman. Now look here, Dolly, you are not going to stay up here alone. Dolly. (Facing him) Why not? Kamman. It isn't safe. Dolly. What's there to be afraid of? Bears, cowboys, and hunters. I can shoot the bears, feed the cowboys and — (She takes his hand in hers) There's nothing to be afraid of, pa. Kamman. I tell you, Dolly, you never can tell what is going to turn up in these mountains — especi- ally in the hunting season. Dolly. That's exactly why I want to stay. May- be I'll get a bear. Kamman. If there's any bears to be shot in the Kamman family, 77/ shoot them. Come on. Dolly. Please let me stay, pa. Kamman. It isn't safe. Dolly. It's perfectly safe and you know it. There is absolutely no danger. And even if there was, haven't I a brand-new rifle? Don't I know how to ride? Kamman. I won't argue with you. We're going 12 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE home. Come on. (Going to camp-bed) I'll pack your bed for you. Dolly. (Going to him) Why can't we stay just one more day? Kamman. I tell you a sheriff is a sheriff. He is hired to hunt men, not deer. {Standing bed on end) For all we know, I may be wanted at the other end of the county this very minute, so pack up your duds. (Shoulders the bed) Dolly. (Calmly, as Kamman starts towards door zvith bed) No use of your taking that bed out. (Kamman faces her) I am going to stay even if I have to sleep on the floor. Kamman. (Severely) Dolly! (She does not reply. He drops bed and goes to her) — Now, look here, Dolly ! Dolly. Pa, I am going to get a deer and that is all there is to it. (Crosses r.) Kamman. You can get one later on. Dolly. The season closes to-morrow night. (Turns her back on hitn) Kamman. (Significantly, over her shoulder) I knovv^ the game-warden. Dolly. (Facing him) But I want to get a deer in the open season. I want to be able to haul him down Main Street on my pack horse. And when his head is mounted and up in my room I want to be able to point to it with a clear conscience and say — (Extending her hands and pleading with a smile) Don't take me home, pa. Please don't. (Kamman frowns. Dolly infers that he is weak- ening) It may be the last deer hunt I will ever take. Kamman. (Gruffly) I reckon not. Dolly. You can't tell, pa. When Aunt Martha sends me off to that girl's school in New England — ■ (Turning from him) You never can tell what is going to happen to a girl after you send her away to BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 33 colle.^e. (Glancing over her shoulder at him) I might get married. (Kamman is scratching his chin. Dolly faces him) Don't take me home. (Dolly takes his hand in her own) Can't I stay just one more day? Please. I want to. Can't I? (She looks up into his face smiling) Can't I? There isn't any danger. You know that. Can't I stay ? Kamman. {Completely out-generaled) Yes, hang it all, stay a week if you want to. {He starts tip abruptly) Dolly. Goody. Kx\mman. {Severely, facing her, rear c.) But mind you, see that your Molly mare is well hobbled and your guns loaded. (Dolly skips to l. 3.) Dolly. {At l. 3) Wait a minute. I v/ill go a piece with you. {Exit Dolly l. 3) (Kamman stands in doorzvay, rear c, a moment looking out. The purple hue of night is en- veloping the mountains. Presently he goes to the cupboard.) Kamman. Got enough grub? Dolly. (Off l. 3) Tons of it. Kamman. {Opening cupboard door) Got enough candles? Dolly. {Off) Yes. Kamman. {Coming down zvith candle, which is in wooden block) I will put one here on the table for you. Dolly. {Re-entering) All right. {She wears a dark leather jacket, riding hat and is putting on buckskin gauntlets) Kamman. Better light it, I guess. {Starts to strike match on trouser leg) 34 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. (Coming doitm to him) I will light it when I get back. Kamman. Guess that would be better. {Blows out match. Dolly starts toward rear door) Just a minute, Dolly. Dolly. {Coming dozzm to him) What is it? Kamman. {Placing his hand on her shoulder) Dolly, this is the first time there's ever been occasion for it, but — listen: when you're alone in these hills you're alone. Chances are, nobody's near to help you. So if anyone gets fresh v/ith you, shoot. Chirccs are thf:y won't get fresh. Most men are gentlemen. But if anyone does get fresh, shoot, and shoot to hit. Don't ask any questions. We'll attend to that at the inquest. Let me see your gun, {She hands Jiim her revolver. He examines it care- fully) All right. {As he returns it to her) Now, don't forget what I tell you. Shoot. And don't be slow about it. Dolly. {Buttoning jacket) I won't. {Crosses R.) (Kamman replaces camp-bed on foot of bed zvhere he found it. Then — ) Kamman. {Going to Dolly at table) Now, I don't want to frighten you, Dolly, but some of the boys say Simp Calloway is in these parts again. Dolly. Who ? KA]\rMAN. Simp Calloway, a fellow who's wanted for shooting a sheep-herder in a poker game in this county and stealing a trottin' horse in Utah. If you see him, come right straight home and tell me. Understand ? Dolly. What does Simp look like? Kamman. He's a medium-sized, wiry cuss with black hair and a scar on his left cheek. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 35 Dolly. (Eyes 'shut) And he's fond of poker? EIamman. Yes. Dolly. (Opening eyes) I have him. Kamman. Now, mind what I tell yoii: Simp Calloway is wanted and he's wanted badly. I don't think there's one chance in a million that you will see him, — if I did, I wouldn't let you stay up here one minute, — but if you do see him, you ride straight home and tell me. Understand? Dolly. Yes. Kamman. All right. Come on. (He starts up, Dolly follo^mng) If you don't come home to- morrow, I'll send Wrenn out after you. Dolly. I will, tho. I will have a deer by to-morrow. (They exit, Dolly closing door rear c.) (Room is nozv dark. Marked pause. A coyote hozvls off rear. Pause. Coyote howls again. Presently a man knocks at the door. He knocks again and after a pause, again. Then the door opens.) ^.IacFarland, (In doorzvay) Anybody home? (Tired polite) Does anybody live here? (He strikes a match and holds it above his head. It is MacFarland, alias MacGinniss. He wears a badly torn hunter's uniform, heavy zvalking hoots, a four days' qrozvth of heard and a huiitinn belt containing Colts in holster on one side and a large knife in holster on the other. Between than are cartridges. He looks tired and hungry, and he walks that zvay. In his right hand he carries a big Win- che'ster rifle, .38.70 calibre. He glances around the room until the match, burnt short, burns his fingers. Strikes another snatch, comes dozvn to table and lights the candle. Returning to rear door, he closes it. Espying l. 3 ajar, he goes to it and raps) 36 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Anybody home? {Takes drink from water btickef, then bangs dipper on. zvalL Loudly) Anybody home? (Then taking a small badger from coat pocket, he returns to table upon zuhich he lays it. Taking watch from vest pocket, he glances at it, rubs his stoniash and sighs. Replacing watch, Ju shakes his head, lays rifle on table and sinks, ex- hausted, into chair r. Drawing his Colts — an iin~ usually large one — from his holster, he gases at it) You've blistered my hip enough for one day, you thirteen inch Krupps ! (Lays Colts on table. Tak- ing pipe from coat pocket he frisks himself for tobacco. His disappointment upon discovering that is has ben lost, is zvhimsically ludicrous. With a sigh of complete exhaustion, he removes hat, tosses it on Colts, picks up the badger, strokes it tenderly a few minutes, then) Would to God I were feeding you peanuts in dear old Central Park i I'm hungry enough to eat you raw. (Lie gazes meditatively at the animal several moments then, tossing it upon the table, rises and goes to the fireplace, lies flat on stomach in front of it and blows the ashes. When his blowing has reached vigorous proportions, Dolly enters quietly rear i. Closing the door noiselessly, she smiles at the blowing stranger. MacFarland with a violent puff, unaware of Dolly's presence) Burn, damn vou ! Dolly. (Shocked) I beg your pardon. (MacFarland flops over on his back and, support- ing himself on his hands, behind him, stares at her.) MacFarland. Wh — where did you come from? Dolly. (At up end of table) Where did you? MacFarland. From the top of the mountain. Dolly. When ? MacFarland. (Rising) Early this morninjr. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 37 Dolly. Are you a hunter? I\1acFarlakd. {Smiling) I am hunting. Dolly. Deer? MacFarland. (Bravely) Bear. Dolly. Do you call that a bear? MacFarland. That's a squirrel. Dolly. In Colorado we call that a badger. MacFarland. In Central Park we call it a squirrel. (She smile's at him as the veteran smiles at the tenderfoot) Is your father in? Dolly. Father's out. MacFarland. (r. of table) Is your mother in? Dolly. I have no mother. MacFarland. (Picking up his rifle) Very well, then. (Laying his hand on his hat) I shall be going. Dolly. (Frankly sincere) You needn't mind. MacFarland. (Piiszled) What? Dolly. I said, "Aren't you hungry?" (He studies her face, then smiles. Dolly severely) If not, I guess you had better be moving on. (She gazes at him sharply. For several moments they study one another. Presently MacFarland smiles boyishly) MacFarland. Let's cook the squirrel. (Dolly's eyes drop. She begins to pet the squirrel. They nozv stand at opposite sides of the table. He to r. and slie to l. She gazes at the squirrel. He gazes at her. Pre'sently he too begins to pet the sauirrel. The silence grows embarrassing) Nice "^Squirrel," isn't it? Dolly. Nice and fat. MacFarland. (Proudly) I killed it. Dolly. (Glancing at him-, reproachfully) Couldn't you find anything else to kill? I^JacFa'rland. It was the only thing that stood 38 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE still loner enoua'h. There are two things I can't do — ride a horse, and shoot straight. I am a nervous marksman. Dolly. {Smiling at his greenness) Did you ever see a deer? {She glances at liim) MacFarland. {Petting the squirrel, hut his eyes on Dolly) Not until this season. Dolly. (Quickly) Where was it? ]\IacFarland. Here. Dolly. Where? (MacFarland glances at her, then L. 3, thc}i at rear door c. He is noticeably em- barrassed) Where? MacFarland. (With ludicrous abruptness) Shall I skin the squirrel? Dolly. (Drolly) Do you think you could? MacFarland. (Confidently) Of course I can. I shot him. (Whipping out hunting knife, he feels its edge deftly, picks up the badger, examines the badger azvkzvardly to find a place to begin to skin it. Finally, as if inspired) Oh, yes, you have to singe it first. (Goes to fireplace and holds badger over fi.re. Exit Dolly l. 4. laughing to herself. Discovering, a fezv minutes later, that he is alone MacFarland returns to table, spreads handker- chief and lays badger on it. Then, removing coot, and rolling up sleeves, he zvhcts the knife a couple of tim^s on the edge of the table and tries to cut' the animal's limbs preparatory to skinning it. He never skinned anything before and his actions show it. In his effort to get the skin started, he pulls off the animal's tail, stretches its body tzuice its normal length and cuts Jiis fingers. Finally, in a supreme effort to start the skin by sheer force, he jerks vt so violently that the Jiead of the animal slips from his grasp, causing the whole thing to hit him. Ex- asperated, he rushes to rear d., opens it, flings the badger out. He slams door and goes to basin and washes hands) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 39 (Re-enter Dolly, she is again in her blue waist.) Dolly. (As she rolls up her sleeves) Did you slam the door? MacFarland. I closed it. Dolly. (Approaching him) Vv^here is it? MacFarland, The squirrel? Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. We will have him for breakfast. (Dolly looks at him puzzled.) Dolly. What? MacFarland. He begged to be allowed to see the sun rise once as^ain. Dolly. (Still puzzled) Did you throw that badger away? MacFarland. I deposited him gently upon the landscape. Dolly. Are you almost thru with the wash basin ? MacFarland. (Politely) Just this minute. {Facing her) May I please have something to dry my hands on? Dolly. (Going towards him) The back of the door. (MacFarland goes to door c, finds no towel. Then wipes his hands on door) No ! The other door. MacFarland. (Seeing towel on hack of cup- board door) Oh, this door. (He dries hands. Dolly picks up zuash basin, and starts to door c.) Let me empty that for you. (Emptying it off rear d., he returns with it to stand, fills it with water and, as Dolly approaches, he offers her the soap) Dolly. (Naively, as she accepts the soap) Did you ever go to boarding school? MacFarland. (Drying his hands on gunny- sack) Not exactly. Why? 40 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. {Lathering her hands) You are so polite. MacFarland. Thank you. Dolly. (Rinsing her hands) You are from the city, aren't you? MacFarland, (Apprehensive, but trying to con- ceal it) What city? Dolly. Denver. MacFarland. (Smiling, and relieved) Hardly. Dolly, (xis she dries her hands on sack) I know you are from some city. MacFarland. How can you tell? Dolly, (.ils LiacFarland dries hands on other end of sack) You are neither bashful nor fresh. MacFarland. Thank you. (Dolly goes to cup- board, takes a tin basin therefrom, MacFarland zvafches her admiringly. Still drying his hands) Dolly. (Filling basin with water) Were you ever in Boston? MacFarland. Yes. Dolly. Often? MacFarland. Not any oftener than absolutely necessary. Why ? Dolly. (Placing basin on table) My Aunt Martha insists that I shall go there to college. MacFarland. Don't you want to? Dolly. No, I want to go to New York City. MacFarland. (Going tozvards table) I don't blame you. (Idealistic ally) Oh, I don't blame you ! (Dolly is nozv at r. side of table. MacFarland is at up side.) Dolly. (Idealistically, facing front) New York must be the grandest city in the world ! (Pause. Dolly 'seems to be dreaming. MacFarland seems to be dreaming too) MacFarland. (Smiling idealistically) It is. Believe me, Xantippe, it is! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 41 (Dolly's jaw drops. Her expression of dreaminess instantly gives zvay to one of surprise. Site ga^es bezvildered front a moment, then, turn- ing abruptly to MacFarland, si::es him np at a glance, then:) Dolly. {Tactfully) Will you please put some twigs on the fire? (MacFarland is puzzled) It is turning colder. MacFarland. Certainly. Where are they? Dolly. In the twig box. (As he goes toward fireplace, Dolly jerks out her Colts and covers him. Emphatically arid quickly, hut calmly. As Mac- Farland picks up piece of wood) MacGinniss. (MacFarland drops the zvood, zvheels about end faces her) Throw up your hands ! Drop thnt knife! {He obeys) Kick it over here! (He obeys) Empty your pockets! (He obeys. A fezv r'fe cartridges, match-case, pipe and toothbrush falling to the floor) Take off your coat! (He obeys. She goes to him) Put it on the table! (He obeys) Pick up that rubbish ! (He drops on his knees and begins to slozdy pick up the contents of his pockcis) Hurry! (He hurries) Put it on the mantelpiece. (He obeys, zvalking sidezvays and keeping eyes riveted on Dolly. Is afraid she will shoot. S'l' indicates chair r. of table) Sit down. If you move from that chair, I'll shoot you. MacFarland. (Swallozmng zvith difficulty) I — I won't bat an eye. (Dolly takes rifle and coat to l. 3, desposits them inside, goes up to cup- board, opens it and takes out a tin basin. Mac- Farland is afraid to look at her) What are you doing — ^getting a rope to hang me with? Dolly. Potatoes. MacFarland. Potatoes ? Dolly. (Putting potatoes from sack into pa:i) I'm going to get supper and you're going to help 42 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE me. {Puts potato-knife in pan and brings pan down to MacFarland) Peel. MacFarland. {Mystified accepting the pan) Who are you anyhow? Dolly. It doesn't matter who I am; your name is MacGinniss. You are wanted in New York City for forgery. Peel ! (MacFarland picks up potato knife and a potato as if to peel it, then pauses and looks at Dolly.) MacFarland. Why do you think I am the man? Dolly. Your picture has been in my father's Rogue's Gallery almost a year. A man of your height, build, and complexion, whose favorite ex- pression is " BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ". MacFarland. {Disgusted zvith himself, dropping knife) Damn! Dolly. You are the man. There is a reward of five thousand dollars for you, and I am going to get it — Peel ! MacFarland. {Peeling slowly) There must be some mistake. Dolly, There is not. MacFarland. But Dolly, Peel ! {Shoves gun almost into his face) MacFarland. Gladly. {He peels very rapidly, whittling potato into strips) Dolly. {Examining coffee pot, zvhich is on mantel) Do you like coffee? MacFarland. Not for dinner. Dolly. This is supper. {Crosses to water bucket) MacFarland. Excuse me. {He glances at her. Her back is to him, she is filling coffee pot from-, water bucket, l. c. rear. Slipping his hand beneath his hat, MacFarland drazvs Colts from beneath it and lays gun in his lap, behind the basin. M.^c- BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 43 Farland examines a potato curiously) I beg your pardon, but is this potato spoiled? (Dolly glances at him) It looks as if something was wrong with one of its eyes. (Dolly goes to hint, on l. side of table. He hands her potato with left hand.) Dolly. {Examining potato) Nonsense! Noth- ing's the matter with — {As she examines it, he prodtices gun from his lap, quietly resting the end of the barrel upon the edge of table) MacFarland. Now just who are you? Dolly. {Pointedly) Never mind — {He raises gun, she sees it) Oh! (MacFarland springs to his feet, bdsin of potatoes falling to the floor.) MacFarland. {Covering her, he is so frightened that the gun shakes like a leaf) Throw up your hands ! {He seizes gun zvith hath hands to hold it steady) Sit down! (Dolly obeys frightenedly. MacFarland takes her gun from its holster) If you move from that chair — I'll shoot. {Shoves her gun into his pocket, then kneels and picks up potatoes quickly, puts them, in basin and hands basin to her) Peel. {She takes basin and begins peeling) Now just who are you anyway? Dolly. {Peeling nervously rapid) They — they call me Dolly. {Stops peeling) MacFarland. Dolly what? Peel, peel. Dolly. Dolly Kamman. MacFarland. {Suspiciously) Is your father sheriff of this county? (Dolly glances at him as if frightened, starts to rise, falls back in her chair,; limply, her hands falling to her side, her head for- zvard, the pan falling to the floor. MacFarland 44 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE fr'jhtened) What's the matter? (Rushing around bark to her side) Miss Dolly! {Chafing her hands vigorously) Dolly! Good Lord, Tve frightened til:; life out of her. {A fezu mordents elapse. She sc :ns to have fainted completely) Dolly. (Faintly) Water^Water. (Mac- Fi.'vLAND rushes to water bucket. Dolly raises her head, smiles zvisely at MacFarland's back, then fcirjns stupor again. Rushing back to her zvith dipper of zvater, MacFarland holds it to her lips. Si:e seems to be only semi-conscious. Sips a few sip 7 then, sitting up, gazes about dazedly) 2\IacFarlakd. What happened? Are vou bet- ter? Dolly. (Stupidly, gazing blankly straight ahead) L-I want to go to bed. I want to go to bed. (iirozving somewhat hysterical. Don't overdo it) "L ave me ! Leave me — I vv^ant to go to bed ! MacFarland. (Somewhat surprised, to him- self) Oh, she wants to go to bed! (MacFarland st.-.rts tozvard rear r. Dolly smiles triumphantly. Exit MacFarland rear door. Dolly is glancing ccutiously at rear door, zvhen — re-enter MacFar- l/ nd. Just inside doorzvay) I beg your pardon, A • ss Kamnian, but could you lend me a blanket fcr the night? (She glances at him) I can't start home until morning and it is growing colder all the ti ;'ie. (Closes door) Dolly. (Indicating l. 3 e.) You can sleep in th re if you want to. MacFarland. Where would you sleep? Dolly. (Indicating camp-bed) There. MacFarland. (After thinking it over a mo- ir.'^nt)- Thank you, but I do not believe that I can ac ;ept your hospitality. (Opens door) Dolly. Why not? MacFarland. It wouldn't be very — discreet. Dolly. This is not New York City. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 45 ]\IacFarland. That is why I hesitate. Dolly. (Pause) I don't understand you — I said you could sleep in that room. I'll sleep in this room. (MacFarland closes door and starts down l.) MacFarland. Yes, but suppose, just about the time I got well located for the night, your father should pop in. Dolly. Father won't pop in. He has gone to town to stay. MacFarland. Well, a friend or a neighbor, then. Dolly. There isn't a friend or a neighbor within twenty miles of here. MacFarland. Do you mean to tell me that you are going to be absolutely alone all night ? Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. Is that the truth? Dolly. Yes, unless MacFarland. Unless what? Dolly. Unless you — stay. (MacFarland cjases at her a moment, then goes abruptly l. 3. Dolly watches him, p^izzled, expectant, doubting. Arrived at L. 3 he stops, meditates) What are you going to do? MacFarland. I am going to stay. {He glances at her a moment, then goes abruptly rear D. and locks door. Dolly at soiind of the locking, clenches her hands. She is frightened but controls herself. Dolly rises and steps to dozvn end of table, gazing straight ahead, eyes half closed schcmingly. Mac- Farland contemplates her a fezv moments, admir- ingly, piizzledly, puts key in pocket, then comes down to her pen^sively. Over her shoulder, gently, — - he thinks she is absolutely straight but is going to be sure of it. He is a gentleman throughout the act) Dolly — {A trifle closer and smiling) Dolly — {He lays his hand gently on her shoulder, Dolly looks 46 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE at him quickly and with savage defiance like a little tigress at bay. MacFarland removes his hand from her shoulder. He is convinced that she is the girl he thought she was) I beg your pardon. I simply wanted to be sure you were the nice little girl I thought you were. You are. Good-night. Dolly. Good-night. (MacFarland goes quickly to rear d., unlocks it, then goes to l. 3.) MacFarland. (^^ l. 3) I shall put you on your honor not to run away. Dolly. Thank you. ]^>1acFarland. Pleasant dreams. Nighty nighty. {Exit MacFarland l. 3, closing door) (Dolly glances at door, pauses a moment, then goes quickly to her camp-bed, untie's the ropes and unrolls it. Turning back the down side lap of the bed cover, she thrusts her arm between the blankets and pulls out a small 22 Winchester repeating rifle, cocks it and lays it on the bed. She then crosses to table, picks up candle, places it on the mantelpiece, blows it out, and crosses to bed quietly.) Dolly. {Excitedly from the bed) Oh! — {Frightened) Oh! — {Hysterically) Mr. Mac- Ginniss ! Mr. Ginniss ! Mr. Ginniss MacFarland. {Rushing in from l. 3) What's the matter? Snakes in your bed? Dolly. Get a match — quick ! Quick ! Quick ! MacFarland. Where are they? Where are they? Dolly. On the mantelpiece. Quick 1 Quick ! {In rushing to mantelpiece, MacFarland falls over a chair.) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 47 MacFarland. Hang it! (Throws chair up- stage ) Dolly. Hurry ! (MacFarland at mantelpiece, strikes match. In his haste, he strikes too hard. Match lights but breaks.) MacFarland. Confound it ! (He lights another match) Dolly. Do hurry! Light the candle! (Mac- Farland R. of table, lights the candle. He is so occupied zvith lighting it that he does not look at Dolly tmtil she speaks to him. The lighted candle reveals her standing beside the bed zuith the 22 rifle levelled at MacFarland. Politely) Thank you very much. MacFarland. (Completely flabbergasted) Well, I'll be — (Holds flame in front of his heart. Smil- ing) Shoot! Dolly. Sit down. (MacFarland sits in chair, at R. of table) Where is my gun? MacFarland. In father's room. (He rises and starts toward l. 3) Dolly. Sit down ! MacFarland. I am going to get it for you. Dolly. Sit down ! MacFarland. (After sitting in chair at L. of table) I suppose you will take me to jail now. Dolly. Twenty-five miles in the dark, on horse back, with you? I guess not. MacFarland. I never rode a horse in my life. What next? Dolly. Go to bed. MacFarland. Gladly! (Jumps up and starts rapidly toward l. 3) Dolly. (Emphatically, indicating camp-bed) This bed. 48 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacFarland. (Petulant, after halting. He is now near l. 3) Say, you are disturbing my plans for the evening. (Comes dozvn l.) Dolly. Hurry ! MacFarland. Just as you say. (He begins to itnhiickle belt — as if to undress) Dolly. Roll in as you are. (He glances at her. She raises gun to threatening level) MacFarland. (Wincing at sight of gun) All right, if you are going to get fussy about it. (Opening the end of the bed, he sqrinns into it. Dolly sits in chair l. of table, MacFarland rest- ing on elhozv, zvatching Dolly. Pause, then — ) Are you sure you know who I am? Dolly. Go to sleep. MacFarland. Are you sure of it? Dolly. I tell you your picture has been in my father's Rogue's gallery for over eleven months. I have looked at it every day. MacFarland. (Surprised and pleased) You have looked at my picture every day for eleven months ? Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. You must have taken a fancy to me from the start. Dolly. I look at all of them. MacFarland. (Squelched) Oh! (Turns over and faces wall. Feigns sleep. Presently, without looking at her) Did you ever catch anyone before? Dolly. No one like you. (MacFarland grozvs big eyed — with pride and wonderment. He sits up.) MacFarland. (Looking at her — smiling) Just what do you mean " No one like you ? " Dolly. (Pointing gun at him, emphaticaly) Go to sleep. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 49 (AIacFarland drops as if shot, turns over qtiickly and faces zvall. Comedy business, killing fly on zvall, whistling to himself, etc., then — ) MacFarland. {Facing zvall) I won't go to sleep. You can make me go to bed but you can't make me go to sleep. (Turns over on back, comedy business zvith feet, ^spreading them apart and bring- ing them together, gasing up at ceiling, indignant but helpless) The idea! You, a little bit of a girl making a great big man like me go to bed with his clothes on. It isn't right! There's nothing in the Constitution that says a girl can put a man to bed simply because he looks like somebody else. I won't go to sleep. {Sitting up) I am going to sit right here and watch you all night. Dolly. Very well. You may. {Marked pause. MacFarland rivets his eyes on DoLLY^s face. Dolly, indifferent to his gaze, assumes the youthful carefree expression of the early part of the act. Marked pause. MacFarland toys zvith bed cover, glances at Dolly, other comedy business. Presently he levels his finger at her, arms length and threateningly.) MacFarland. {With the subdued emotion of a terrible threat) Dolly Kamman, if you don't get out of this room within the next ten seconds, I will kiss you. (Dolly remains perfectly calm, eyes fixed on him. He counts slozvly) One — two — three — four — five — I'm not afraid of your old gun — five — six — seven! {Throzvs back bed covers) eight — (Sits on edge of bed) eight — and a half — nine — {Rises. Dolly calmly cocks the rifle. MacFar- land hesitates. Dolly levels the rifle at him) Dolly. {Slozvly) One — (MacFarland sits on 50 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE edge of bed, his eyes on Dolly) Two — (He gets into bed) Three — (He covers himself with bed covers, pulls them up to chin) Four — {He covers his head zvith covers. Dolly stands the rifle against the table) Five — (He squirms down) Six — {He humps himtself like a snail) Seven — {The snail shifts position, its head now being down-stage) Eight — {His head protrudes beneath cover. He gasps for breath) Nine — {He grimaces zvith fear) MacFarland. {Plaintively) Don't shoot! For God's sake, don't shoot ! Dolly. Then go to sleep. MacFarland. Gladly! {The head disappears. The snail flattens out) Dolly. {Pledsantly, as she picks up rifle) Good- night, Mr. MacGinniss. Pleasant dreams to you. (MacFarland waves his hand to her. Nothing but the hand can be seen. Rest of body is com- pletely covered zvith bed cover. Dolly goes to L. D. opens it, looks at the covered prisoner, then closes door, to make him think she has left the room. Slight pause, then MacFar- land peeps slowly out from head of bed and, unconscious of Dolly's presence, gradually pushes the bed covers off himself and crazvls out of bed. As he starts tozvard table he espies Dolly zvhose gun is leveled at him. Madly he scrambles back into bed and jerks the covers over his head. Dolly exits l. 3, leaves rifle there and returns zvith her own revolver. She examines chambers to see that they are still loaded, then places gun in holster and, glancing frequently at the sleeping MacFarland throughout it all, replenishes the fire, puts on coffee pot, adds coffee from coffee can taken from cupboard and starts down to pick up the potatoes. As she is picking them up, her back BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 51 to rear d. the door opens slowly and noise- lessly, revealing Simp Calloway. Simp is a mean-looking desperado. Wears faded blue riding jumper and overalls, old leather schapps Mexican spurs or Mexican boots, and a large black Mountaineer's felt hat. Has a week's growth of beard. He glances about the room warily, then scrutinizes Dolly several mo- ments. She is picking up potatoes and is un- azvare of his presence until he speaks.) Simp. (With a slozv drazvl — standing inside door- way, hand on door) Beg pardon, but (Dolly glances at him, recognizes him and drops pan, startled.) Dolly. {Startled) Oh! {Rises quickly. Mac- Farland sits up) Simp. Didn't go to scare you. Dolly. {Laughing nervously) That's all right. You — you startled me, that's all. {To MacFar- LAND, emphatically) Lie down ! (Simp's hand goes to his gun. This is the first time he has .seen AIac- Farland. MacFarlnd obeys, resting on his side and elbozv and watching them during follozving: Dolly hospitably to Simp) Come on in. Simp. N' thanks — jist dropped in to borrow a couple of matches. Dolly. Certainly. {She goes up to the cup- board. Throughout the follozving. Simp keeps his eyes on MacFarland and Dolly and his hand on his hip, near his gun) Simp. {As Dolly is getting matches at cup- board) Is your husband sick? Dolly. {Going to him with box of matches) No. Simp. Hurt? 52 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. No, tired. {She hands him matches) Simp. {Putting rnatcJics in jtunpcr pocket with left hand) How much for the matches? Dolly. Nothing. {Sympathetically) Aren't you hur.,<:;ry? I\1acFarland. I am. Dolly. {Looks at MacFarlaxd) Lie down. Simp. {To Dolly) Do you Hve here? {Lights cigarette, striking match on inside of left arm) Dolly. No, sir. We are hunting. Simp. {Grinning. He thinks them tenderfeet) Easterners, eh? Dolly. Mr. MacGinniss is. {Quickly and very pleasantly) Won't you have just a cup of coffee with us? And some hot biscuits? — and some squirrel ? Simp. {Grinning, pleased at prospect) Reckon I Vvill. {He comes in, closing door after him) Dolly. W^on't you sit down? Simp. {Back against door) N', thanks. {He keeps furtive eye on l. 3) Dolly. You had better let me take your hat, then. Simp. N', thanks. Dolly. {Smiling) Supper won't be ready for quite a while. Simp. N' hurry. (Dolly goes to fire. Simp watches her clo'sely.) Dolly. {Looking into coffee pot) You might as well be resting. Simp. N', thanks. {Glancing l. 3) You two alone ? Dolly. {Replenishing the fire) Yes, sir. {She goes down to table and picks up the basin of potatoes. As she, goes up, smiling persuasively) Won't you please sit down? Simp. {Satisfied that it is safe) Reckon I will. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 53 (As he goes tozvards table, Simp glances at rear door significantly, and halts) Fetch it to me. Dolly. \Blankl\) What? Simp. {Indicating chair) The chair. I hurt my foot the other day. Dolly. (Obligingly) Certainly. (She takes chair to him) Simp. Thanks. (Places it against door and sits. Dolly goes to zvater bucket) Been havin' any luck huntin' ? Dolly. (Drolly but significantly) No, but I think I shall get a couple of bucks before the season closes. Simp. One apiece, eh? Dolly. (Puzzled) How do you mean? Simp. You and your husband. Dolly. Maybe. (Pause) Do you think I'll get them ? Simp. No, I don't think you will. Dolly. (Smiling) We'll see. (Approaches Simp, bucket in hand) You will have to excuse me a moment. MacFarland. (Jumping up) Let me get the water ! (Instantly Simp is on his feet, hand near to gun, zvatches MacFarland.) Dolly. (To MacFarland) Lie down ! (Mac- Farland obeys. To Simp) If you please. (Simp picks up chair zvith left hand. Dolly opens the door and exits. Simp zvatches her closely. MacFarland rises. Simp closes door and places chair against it. MacFarland gets out of bed and stretches himself. Dolly knocks on door. MacFarland sits on edge of bed, fearfully. Dolly knocks on door. Simp picks up the chair zvith left hand. Dolly re-enters. As she looks at MacFarland he ducks back into 54 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE hed, and pulls covers up to his chin. Dolly pleasantly to Simp) You play poker, don't you? Simp. Why? Dolly. Mr. MacGinniss is a dreadfully poor plaA^er. I want you to teach him the fine points of the game. (Setting the bucket on the chair. Dolly skips to the cupboard and takers a deck of cards therefrom. As she returns to Simp zvho has been watching her curiously) They say you Westerners know more about cards than anyone in the world. {Smiling as she hands him the pack) You will teach him, won't you? Simp. {With a contemptible drazvl as if despising anyone zvho can not play poker) Sure! {Accepts the cards. Dolly exits, bucket in hand. Simp closes the door, places the chair against it, and puts cards in jumper pocket. MacFarland throzvs covers back and sits up the moment Simp closes door. Simp, sitting) Where you from. Partner? MacFarland. New — {Catching self, suspects Simp) From the East. Simp. {Taking sack of tobacco and cigarette.: papers from jumper pocket) Must have some purty nice women folk back there. MacFarland. Yes, but they aren't as fine as your Colorado girls. If they wxre, I would have married long ago. Simp. {Surprised) Ain't this woman your wife? MacFarland. Not yet, but — {Smiles hopefully, rises and crosses r.) Simp. {Rolling cigarette) I see! {Grinning as he crimps end of cigarette) I see. {As Simp lights the cigarette, MacFarland nozv at r. of table, ga^cs at him puzzle dly) MacFarland. What ? Simp. {Rising and pulling up schapps, and grin- BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 55 ning) Then I guess she's just about as much mine as she is yourn. MacFarland. (Quickly) What do you mean? Simp. (Going towards him) You know what I mean. MacFarland. I do not. Simp. (Nozv at l. side of table) You brought her up here, but if you keep her you've got to prove yourself a better man than me. MacFarland. (At side of table) What the devil are you driving at? Simp. (Grinning) Have you got a gun? MacFarland. No. Simp. Then we'll play for her. MacFarland. We will not ! Simp. (Mildly emphatic, but with an oily smile) I say we will. Sit down. MacFarland. I tell you Simp. Sit down. (Jerks out gun. MacFarland sits. Then oily) I said we'd play for the girl, (MacFarland rises, Simp shoves gun at him) Sit down! (MacFarland obeys doggedly. Simp ''^;'tosses him the pack of cards) Shuffle! (Keeping his eyes constantly on MacFarland, Simp goes to rear d. He picks up chair which has been against door, starts down tozvards table again) MacFarland. (As Simp comes down) Now look here, this little ^irl is absolutely all right. Simp. I said shuffle. And I mean it, too. (Simp nozv at R. side of table, glares at MacFarland. MacFarland picks up cards, shuffles them. Simp puts gun in holster. MacFarland puts cards in front of Simp. Simp cuts them. MacFarland picks them up and begins dealing them one at a time, alternately. As he is dealing them, the rear door opens quietly and Dolly enters. Her revolver is leveled at Simp. Neither he nor MacFarland see Dolly) 56 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. {Calmly, from inside doorzvay) Simp! (Simp springs to his feet and grabs for his gun. Dramatically emphatic) Don't touch it! Don't touch it! (Simp's hands drop at his side) Throw up your hands. {With a powerful hloiv, Simp ^szveeps the candle from the table, extinguishing it. The men scuffle, upsetting chairs and table.) MacFakland. {As they scuffle) Don't shoot, Dolly ! Don't shoot ! {The fight continues a few moments, then Simp suddenly cries out with pain.) Simp. Stop ! ! Stop ! ! For God's sake, stop ! ! MacFarland. Kneel ! Miss Dolly ! Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. Light the gas. Dolly. Gas? Who ever heard of gas up here! {She rushes to the cupboard, and a motnent later, strikes a match and lights a candle taken from cup- board. As she comes down with candle, the men are revealed somezvhat to r. of c. MacFarland is sitting on Simp's back, with one of Simp's thumbs in each of his hands. Dolly, revolver in one hand, candle in other, goes to them. In amazement — to MacFarland) How in the world did you ever do it? MacFarland. Jiu Jitz. Dolly. " Juie " him some more till I find his gun. Simp. Who is that little devil? MacFarland. Dolly Kamman. Simp. Not Buck Kamman's kid? MacFarland. Yes. Is he a friend of yours? Simp. Not by a damn sight ! {Struggles to get loose) Let me go ! BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 57 Dolly. Simp, where's your gun? MacFarland. What did you do with it? Answer her. Simp. You knocked it out of my hand. It's on the floor. MacFarland. {To Dolly) Look under the table. (Dolly goes to table, zvhich is nozv on its side, and, among the legs, finds Simp's gun.) Dolly. I have it. MacFarland. (To Simp, as Dolly shoves his gun into her ozvn holster) Stand up or I'll break vour thumbs ! Simp. (Getting up, MacFarland pulling him) I'll get you for this ! MacFarland. I've got you first! (To Dolly) Tie his hands. Miss Dolly. (Dolly picks up one of the bed ropes and ties Simp's wrists together, behind his back) That's the stuff! Dolly. Now put him to bed. MacFarland. (To Simp, triumphantly) Now you go to bed. (Throzvs him into bed and juinps on top of him) Dolly. (Giving MacFarland another rope) Tie his feet, Mr. MacGinniss. (Simp kicks zvildly.) MacFarland. If he kicks me, shoot him. (Simp stops kicking and MacFarland ties his ankles together.) Dolly. (To MacFarland, ds he rises from his task) Thank you very much, Mr. MacGinniss. MacFarland. (Smiling) The pleastire is all mine. Now I shall help you guard him. 58 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. (Pleasantly) You shall go back to bed. MacFarland. (Dumb founded) What? Dolly. (Pleasantly commandatory) Go back to bed. MacFarland. (Indicating Simp) With himf Dolly. (With admiration) Mr. MacGinniss, you are a brave man, and I am deeply grateful for what you have done, but you are a fugitive from justice and it is my duty to take you to jail. (At "Fugitive from Justice'', Simp rolls over on side and stares at MacFarland, in amaze- ment.) MacFarland. Do you visit your papa's jail often ? Dolly. No, but I could. MacFarland. Will you? Dolly. Perhaps, but until you are in my father's jail — back to bed. MacFarland. (Humbly but pleasantly) Yes, ma'am. (To Simp, savagely, as he crawls into bed) Get over ! Dolly, (Leaning against edge of table) Well, I said I'd get a couple of bucks before the season closed. Curtain BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 59 ACT III Scene: Two days later. Sheriff Kamman's office in the Cotm'ty Jail Building, Delta, Colorado. Morning. It is an untidy room. Roughly furnished and seldom swept. Rear zvall c. A heavy black iron door with bolt, lock and white painted sign: ''No Admit- tance." When this door is opened the interior of the cell room can be 'seen. To r. of door, a black bulletin board upon zvhich are tacked several " Lost strayed or stolen " and '' Re- ward " bulletins. In the c. of the board, and well spaced from the other notices, is an un- usually large and boldly printed circular read- ing: " $5,000 Reward ! ! ! ! For the Capture of George MacGinniss. Description To L. of door a large clothes cabinet with double doors. It serves the dual purpose of clothes closet and arsenal. Contains rifles, shot guns, hand-cuffs, etc. Right zvall: r. 4. a door opening upon the street. On its exterior side in large black letters is painted " County Jail " . In smaller letters beneath that: ''Sheriff's Office '\ r. 2, a window with iron bars. Against the zvall, be- 6o BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE tween window and door an old, faded, black haircloth couch. Above the couch hangs a large map of Colorado. It is hung crooked. Left wall: A large map of the United States. It, too, hangs crooked. Rear corner, a medium- sized square iron safe upon the top of zvhich is a stack of old record books untidly arranged. Lozver c. an old flat top desk, letter littered, zvith a telephone upon it, a pivot chair behind it and a zvillozv zuaste-basket to r. of it. An old spittoon to l. of it. The zvalls and floor of the room are painted a lead gray. The room is discovered empty, both doors closed. Enter Wrenn the Jailer, singing '' Little Fishes in the Brook.'' Wrenn is lazy but good- natured. Wears old black trousers, and a black sateen shirt open at the throat. Big officer's star on breast. Wrenn is carrying an empty glass tumbler. He enters rear d. c, closes cell room door, comes dozvn to desk, opens upper drazver, takes a whiskey flask therefrom, holds flask up, admires its contents, pours some zvhiskey into the tumbler, replaces flask in desk and closes the drazver. Enter Dolly, r. d. She zvears dark skirt, light waist and is bareheaded. Very pretty and buoyant. As she enters — Dolly. {Jovially and buoyantly and zvith likable familiarity) Hello, Wrenn. Wrenn. {Jovially as Dolly closes door) Hello, Dol]y. Dolly. {Eagerly) How is my prisoner? Wrenn. Which one? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 6i Dolly. MacGinniss, of course. Wrenn. Stiff and sore. Dolly. (Quickly and anxiously) He isn't sick, is he? Wrenn. No, but he says he wishes he was dead. Dolly. (Astonished) What? Wrenn. He says, he wished you'd hit him back of the ear with a club and hauled him into town on a pack horse. Dolly. W^hy? Wrenn. He has blisters on his feet as big as flapjacks. (Chuckles) Dolly. I offered to let him ride Molly part of the way. Wrenn. He was telling me about it. Dolly. What did he say ? Wrenn. He said it was a case of getting blistered either way — riding or walking. (Chuckles) Dolly. It's no laughing matter. If it hadn't been for him I could never have gotten Simp Calloway down here alive. (Indicating tiunhler from wliicn Wrenn has been sipping) Is that for Mr. Mac- Ginniss ? Wrenn. (Conteinplating remainder of contents) Well, it 7vas for him. Dolly. I'll take it to him. Wrenn. No. I've had strict orders from your father not to let no one see the prisoners. Dolly. Give it to me. Wrenn. But your father said (Dolly takes tumbler from him, then — ) Dolly. Give me the key to his cell. W^renn. No, Dolly, I've had strict orders from your father not to let no one see the prisoners. Dolly. Whose prisoners are they, anyhow? Wrenn. But your father said Dolly. Give me that kev. 62 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE \Vrenn. ( Remonsfratk'cly) But your father said, — Dolly your father said Dolly. (After stamping her foot emphatically) I said, give me that key. Wrenn. (As he reluctantly places key on desk) There she is, but if you take her you take her at your own risk, Dolly. (Pleasantly as she picks up the key) Th'ink you. Wrenn. That lets me out. (Dolly goes to rear d. with key and tumbler.) Dolly. (At rear d.) Has father heard from the New York officers yet? Wrenn. Nope. (As Dolly exits rear d.) Now remember, you're doing that at your own risk. If anything happens (Exit Dolly rear door, closing it behind herself. Enter Kamman r. d. He is fresh shaven, zvears n, clean suit of light green corduroy, well oiled hoots zvith tops under trousers' legs, and a new Stetson hat. In one hand carries a box of cigars and in the other a telegram.) Kamman. (Jubilantly) He's the man, Wrenn. (Coming to desk) Listen to this: — (Reading tele- gram) " Hold MacGinniss. Am sending officers with extradition papers. Arthur Sole. New York City." (Slapping Wrenn on back) Now tell me my Dolly girl isn't a hero ! Wrenn. (Examining telegram) I always said the people of this here County should have elected her Sheriff instead of her Dad. Kamman. (Offering box of cigars to Wrenn) Have one on Dolly. (Wrenn takes one) Take a handful. Wrenn. (As he takes several) No, one's BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 63 enough ; one's enough. {Pocketing cigars) Thank you, Buck. Kamman. {Pocketing telegram') Thank Dolly. {He puts box of cigars in upper drazver of desk and taking another telegram from pocket frozvns at it) But here is a telegram that does put the blind bridles on me. (He rests his foot on bottom of pivot chair and reads:) " Handle MacGinniss tenderly. Give him three square meals, plenty of sleep and lots of exercise." Wrenn. {Biting off end of cigar) That is a heller. Kamman. And listen to this: "Deprive him of none of the luxuries of life. Signed Arthur Sole ". Wrenn. A blue-blooded crook, eh? Kamman. Looks that way — {As he pockets tele- gram) Well, give him anything he wants, Wrenn. New York's paying for it. Wrenn. Suppose he asks for a bucket of champagne ? Kamman. Wire to Denver and get it. But say, Wrenn, doesn't it strike you kind of queer that this New Yorker and Simp Calloway were feeding on the same range at the same time? Wrenn. No, no. They're pals. Working to- gether. For all we know, maybe they had some- thing framed up on the bank right here in tov/n. You know, vSimp is supposed to have had a hand in that bank robbery over near Salt Lake City. Kamman. I guess we'll keep a pretty close eye on that New Yorker even if he is blue-blooded. {He winks wisely at Wrenn and picks up telegram) Wrenn. {Goes up c.) I'll hobble him right now. Kamman. (In telephone as Wrenn starts up) Number 12, please. (Glancing up) Wrenn. (In 'phone as Wrenn comes down r.) Try it again, please. {To Wrenn) Would you call preserved peaches and custard pie luxuries? 64 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Wrenn. I sure would. Kamman. I'm 'phoning Martha to bring some down to MacGinniss. (In 'phone) Not in? — all right. {To Wrenn as he hangs up receiver) Wrenn, I laid awake all last night thinking of some way to show Dolly how much I appreciate the pluck she showed in landing this man MacGinniss, and do you know what I've decided to do ? Wrenn. Buy her a six-shooter? Kamman. I've decided to make her a deputy sheriff. Wrenn. Great. {They shake hands) Kamman. On my way down here this morning I dropped into Charley Frazier's store and told him to send down the best roll-top desk he had in the shebang. {Strutting l., hands behind hack) It's a dinger, too, a little fellow with lots of cubbyholes and a green felt blotting pad and a little oak chair. {Returning r.') I'm going to put it over there where the lounge is. Come on, let's toss this old incubator out of the jail right now. {They cross to the conch and pick it up. Kamman at the dozvn end and Wrenn in shirt sleeves at up end, zvhen — Enter Martha r. 4. She is a zvell-built zvoman of forty and zvears a calico honse-dress and a calico sun bonnet) Hello, Martha. I just 'phoned up to you. {They lift lounge.) Martha. {Alarmed) What has happened ? Kamman. Nothing, I just wanted you to send down some luxuries to MacGinniss. Martha. {Gravely going to desk) Is Dorothy here ? Kamman. Not yet. Martha. That disturbs me. Kamman. {Halting) Why? Martha. {Worried) She said she was coming down to administer to her prisoners. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 65 Kamman. She probably went to the post-cfiice first. Martha. Possibly. But when she comes, please do not let her talk to the prisoners. Kamman. (Resting his end of the couch on the floor) I have already given Wrenn strict orders not to let anyone see the prisoners in my absence. (Wrenn holds his end of couch.) Martha. That was very thoughtful of you, Bertram. (Kamman picks up end of couch) You know, girls at Dorothy's age are inclined to be a bit romantic. Kamman. Not Dolly. (Puts down his end of couch) She's a deputy sheriff now. (Wrenn gets angry but holds on to his end of couch.) Martha. (Going towards him) I do not wish to be severe with the child — (Kamman picks up couch) But if sister Belle were living (Kamman rests couch on floor. Wrenn drops it and sits on couch disgusted.) Kamman. (His hand gently on Martha^s shoulder) I understand, Martha. I won't let her see the prisoners. I've told Wrenn not to let any- one see them and he always obeys my orders. Wrenn. (Greatly agitated and trying to get Buck off the subject) Give me a light. Buck. (Kamman hands him his cigar. Enter Dolly rear d.) Martha. (Shocked) Dorothy! 66 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. (Merrily) Hello, everybody. Kamman. (Severely going tozuard her) What are you doing in there? Dolly. (Closing door) Watering my five- thousand dollar prisoner. Martha. (To Kamman) There you are! Kamman. (To Wrenn) I thought I gave you strict orders not to Wrenn. (To Dolly) See! Dolly. (Prettily independent to Kamman) He's my prisoner. If I want to feed him I am going to feed him. If I want to talk to him I am going to talk to him. (Shaking finger playfully severe at him) And I am going to do it when I please — where I please — and if you don't like it ('Phone rings.) Kamman. (At 'phone, Dolly to r. of him) Hello — Yes, this is Buck Kamman. (Excited) What ? — The bank at Grand Junction ? — Headed this way? — You bet your life I'll chase them. (Hangs up receiver) Dolly. (At his side, intensely interested) What's happened? Kamman. The bank at Grand Junction was held up not fifteen minutes ago. Three masked men shot the cashier, held up the clerks and got away with twenty thousand dollars. (He rushes to cabinet) Dolly. Really ? Kamman. (Taking his Colts belt from cabinet) Thone for Monk ! Dolly. (In 'phone) 24 please. And hurry ! Wrenn. (To Kamman) Is there anything I can do, Buck? Kamman. (To Wrenn, as he puts on spurs) Put a ball and chain on MacGinniss. Wrenn. Put she is, Buck. (He pushes couch back where it was) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 67 Martha. {To Kamman zvho is putting on an old coat) Do be careful, Bertram. Dolly. (T,i 'phone) For heaven's sake, hurry! Martha. (Her hand on Kamman's shoulder) Don't get shot if you can help it, Bertram. (Enter MacFarland, rear i. Martha screams. Dolly startled, drops the receiver. Wrenn and Kamman instantly cover MacFarland zvith Colts) MacFarland. (Calmly, zvith palms upraised to Kamman and Wrenn) Don't slioot, don't shoot. I'm not going to run away. (To Kamman) What are the prospects of getting into communication with a real good cigar? Dolly. Bright. Martha. (Shocked) Dorothy! (Dolly goes quickly to her father, frisks his vest, takes a cigar and starts tozvard MacFarland. Martha abo2it to intercede) Dorothy! Dolly. (To Martha) They were made to smoke. (She gives it to MacFarland) MacFarland. (Taking cigar and hozvlng) I thank you. (To Wrenn, going tozvard him) Match please. (Wrenn hacks azvay from him. Dolly goes to her father. He Jiands her a match. She lights it on her father's gun and hands it to Mac- Farland. MacFarland accepting it) I thank you. (To Kamman, as he calmly lights cigar) Going some place, Sheriff? Martha. Your comrades in crime have robbed a bank. MacFarland. Not my comrades. I'm an Elk. (To Kamman, genially) Don't you want a nice, bright young man to help you. Sheriff ? Kamman. (Handing Dolly rifle from cabinet) Watch him. (To Wrenn, zvarningly) Come on! Maybe Simp is out, too. (Kamman rushes off rear) Wrenn. (Follozving him) Come on, she is. Buck. (Exits rear) 68 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacFarland. (To Dolly) You are looking very nice this morning. Martha. (Severely) Are you attempting to make bold with my niece ? ivIacFarland. I am not. (He hastens tozvard Dolly) M'^artha. Stop ! (Dolly covers him zvith rifle. He puts his hand to pistol pocket.) Dolly. Throw up your hands. MacFarland. (Holding up cell key zvhich he has taken from pocket) The key. (Dolly lozvers rifle. He goes to her) You left it in the lock of my cell. Martha. (Shocked) Dorothy! MacFarland. (Pleasantly) Don't do it again. If some one else had found it, it might have em- barrassed you. (Ptits key on end of Dolly's rifle) Dolly. (Deeply grateful) Thank you ! Oh, how I thank you ! Kamman. (Re-entering rear door) Get back to your cell. MacFarland. (To Kamman) Just a moment. (To Dolly, as she slips the key into the pocket of her zvaist) Did you send those telegrams to New York for me last evening? Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. (Anxiously) Sure you didn't make any mistake? Arthur Sole and Thornton Brown ? Dolly. Yes — Thornton Brown and Arthur Sole. MacFarland. Good! (To Dolly) You know they're my best friends and they said if I ever got arrested to Kamman. (Stepping betzveen MacFarland and Dolly) Get back to your cell. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 69 MacFarland. {To Kamman) Can't you see that you are interrupting a very pleasant conversa- tion ? Kamman. Shut up ! MacFarland. I am shut up. {Starting toward rear d. escorted by Kamman) Say, what right have you to try to make me stop talking? There's nothing in the Constitution that says you can make a man shut up, even if he is in jail. {Exits rear d. follozved by Kamman) Martha. {Severely) Dorothy Kamman, were you in that man's cell? (Dolly, as though not hearing her, takes key from pocket and ga.zes be- zvilderedly at it) Answer me! Were you in his cell? Dolly. Partly. Martha. {Shocked) Oh! Dolly. I handed him some water — and a s^lass. (Picks up the telephone receiver. In 'phone — ) Hello — haven't you got the livery stable yet? — Hurry — Hello, Gord — Send Monk down to the jail right away — Don't stop to feed him — And, Gord, if any of the hoys are there send them right down on fresh horses — Grand Junction's been held up — {As she hangs up receiver, Martha crosses to her and lays her hand gently on Dolly's shoidder) Martha. I trust this has taught you a lesson. (Dolly does not seem to hear her. Her mind is on the key) You must not think that simply because you fortunately captured two disreputable thieves 3''0u are a grov/n woman. That bold New Yorker is no gentleman and I am pained to see you Dolly. {Absent-mindedly but emphatic) Go to bed ! Martha. Dorothy ! Dolly. {Kindly) Oh, I didn't mean to say that. Please go home. Martha. {In mellozving voice which stimulates 70 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE genuine sympathy) You forget that I am your Aunt. Dolly. (Gently faking Martha's hand in her ozvn) No I don't, but when we are ourselves again wc will talk it over, calmly. (Dolly kisses her) Martka. That is better, much better. (]\Iartha kisses Dolly, and exits, R. 3) (Dolly gases at key and crosses to desk l. c. Re-enter Kamman, rear d. frowning per- plexedly.) Kamman. (Coming dozvn to desk zvhcre Dolly nozv stands) How did that man get out? (Dolly hands him the key) Did you give him this? Dolly. (Fingering lock of rifle zvhich lies on desk) I handed him a glass of water, and left it in the lock. Kamman. (Astonished at her carelessness) What? Dolly. That is why he came out. He was afraid someone else might find it there and embarrass me. Kamman. Did he say that ? Dolly. Yes. (Kamman scratches his chin pensively) Father, that man is no criminal. Kamman. (Quickly) What do you mean? Dolly. I mean he is not the criminal we think he is. Kamman. (Close to her) Now don't get senti- mental, Dolly. You pulled off something pretty good when you caught those two outlaws single- handed. Now don't up and spoil it. Dolly. (With simple sincerity, looking up into his face) I know what I know. Kamman. What do you know? Dolly. (Solemnly) I know that that man is a man. (Kamman pnts his hand to her forehead^ then picks up 'phone) I 'phoned for Monk. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 71 Kamman. I'm going to 'phone for a doctor. Dolly. {Puzded) What for? Kamman. The nervous strain of the past three days is getting the best of you. boLLY. Nonsense ! (Takes 'phone from him and sets it on desk) Wrenn. (Re-entering rear d. Marveling at MacFarland's nerve in asking such a question) Say, what do you know about that? (Chuckles) k A M M A N . What ? Wrenn. (Crossing toward couch) MacGinniss wants to know if he can go out walking this after- noon? (Sits on couch and laughs) Kamman. (To Wrenn) Take that key. I'm going after those bank robbers and I don't want anything else on my mind. Dolly, I have a little surprise for vou. Dolly. What? Kamman. Just to show how much I appreciate that little trick you turned the other night, I've made you a deputy sheriff. (Dolly springs at his neck, clasps her arms about it and hugs him.) (Kamman kisses her many times. Horses' hoofs are heard off r. They approach rapidly. Wrenn hastens to r. 2 window.) Kamman. Is it Monk? Wrenn. Yes, and a bunch of the boys. Kamman. (To Dolly, surprised, pleased) Did you tell them to come down? Dolly. Yes. Wrenn. (As Kamman kisses Dolly again) She's learning fast. Buck. Kamman. (Proudly) She doesn't have to learn ; she knows already. y2 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (Dolly khses him and he goes to r. d. quickly.') Kamman. {At R. D.) Now whatever you do, don't let anybody in; and for heaven's sake, don't let anybody out. Good-bye. {Exiting, off r. as Dolly foUozved by Wrenn hastens to r. 4) Hello, bovs ! Something doing ! Cov/BOYS. {Off right) Whoop-ee ! {The sound of many hoofs riding azvay. Dolly zvaves her handkerchief at the departing horse- men. Wrenn zvaves his blue bandana. They zvave until the sound of hoofs dies azvay.) Wrenn. {As they go dozvn tozjuards desk) Dolly, have you any idea how MacGinniss got out of his cell? Dolly. {Mysteriously) I shouldn't be a bit surprised. {Beckons him to her) Wrenn. {In bated breath) How? Dolly. He walked out. Wrenn. {Furious) This is no joking matter! Dolly. {Tidying the desk) Do you think a deputy sheriff would joke with a jailer? Wrenn. {At r. end of desk) Now don't get fresh, Dolly. Dolly. {Face to face zinth him, hands clenched) You may be several pounds heavier than I am, Wrenn Wrigley, but remember, in the absence of my father, I am sheriff. Wrenn. If you were a kid of mine, Dolly Kam- man, I would spank you good. Dolly. {Shaking her forefinger at him) I will give you just one minute to apologize. {Marked pause) Wrenn. {Fusses, then extending his hand and smiling broadly) I apologize. Ice cream or sodie water ? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 73 Dolly. (As they shake hands) Do you reully think Mr. MacGinniss is a bad man? Wrenn. I know it. Dolly. How do you know it? Wrenn. Your father heard from the New York officers. (Looking about desk for telegrams) Got two telegrams. Dolly. What did they say? Wrenn. (Looking in waste-basket) The first one said " He's the hoss, hold him. (Wrenn examines the contents of basket) The other said, '' Give him a good bed, and feed him lots of oats, and give him lots of currying." Dolly. (Crosses r. to windozv) They don't talk that way in New York City. Wrenn. (Crosses l. of desk) No, but that's what they meant. They called it the luxuries of life. I guess your father took them telegrams with him. Dolly. There must be some mistake. Mr. Mac- Ginniss is too much of a oentlemian to be a criminal. Wrenn. (Smiling) Oh, shucks ! How many criminals have you know'd? Dolly. (After short pause) Fetch him out. Wrenn. (Loudly) Your father said Dolly. Fetch him out ! Wrenn. (More quietly) But your father said Dolly. Fetch him out! I waiit to question him. Wrenn. (Exasperated but helpless) All right! All right ! But you do it at your own risk. Don't forget that. (He goes up to rear d. Dolly crosses L. and sits at desk) Shall I take off the ball and chain ? Dolly. No. Wrenn. (Lhmibly, as a last effort to dissuade her) Now, Dolly — (Dolly points at rear d. Wrenn sees it is useUss, and loses his temper) 74 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Let 'em all out ! I don't care. Let 'em all out ! (Exit Wrenn, closing door) (Slight pause during which Dolly sits at desk and begins to tidy it. Enter Violet r. 4. A tall chemical blonde zvearing a heliotrope skimp skirt, many rings, much rouge and a large picture hat ivith heliotrope plumes. She carries a nezvspaper cornucopia containing an immense bouquet of native flowers.) Violet. (Chirply, ds she closes the door) Hello ! Dolly. (With official dignity) How do you do. Violet. (Smiling blandly as she approaches desk) I just dropped in a few moments to give Mr. Calloway some flowers. Dolly. Is he a friend of yours? Violet. (Taking bouquet from cornucopia) An old sweetheart, Honey. (Holding up bouquet) Ain't them just luscious ! (The stem of the bouquet is quite long and heavily wrapped with tinfoil on which is wound black thread. ) Dolly. What is your name? Violet. Violet. Dolly. Violet what ? Violet. You're getting inquisitive, Honey. (She starts up) Dolly. (Follozving her) I will take them to him. Violet. (Smirking at her over her 'shoulder) You needn't mind. Dolly. (Emphatically) I said I would take them to him. Violet. (Pleasantly, without looking around) I heard you, Honey. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 75 Dolly. {Taking hold of her arm) I mean it, too. Violet. {Facing her and sizing her up, with arched eyebrozvs) Just who do you think you are? Dolly. The deputy sheriff of this county. Violet. You ? {She bursts out laughing. Dolly clenches hands. Volet chucks Dolly under the chin with bouquet) Say, I Hke you! Where's Wrenn .? Dolly. Never mind Wrenn. If those flowers are for Simp Calloway, give them to me. Violet. The nerve ! Dolly. Then leave this office. Violet. Why, you impudent little devil ! Dolly. You heard me, didn't you? Violet. Yes, and if you give me another word of your sass — {She drains back her hand. Dolly begins to roll up her sleeves) Going to throw me out, eh? {She laughs heartily. Dolly crosses to door R. Enter Wrenn rear d. c.) Hello, Wrenn. {She extends her hand familiarly and stops laugh- ing) Wrenn. {Perplexedly surprised) I thought you went to California. Violet. {Hand still extended) I did, but— (Ew^^r MacFarland. In his left hand an iron ball, the chain of which is fastened to an iron band about his ankle; in his right hand the cigar, still lighted, Violet recognises MacFarland, surprised but glad to see him) Well, look who's here? {Going to him, hand still extended) Why, how do you do? (Dolly crosses back to l. of desk.) MacFarland. {Calmly smoking) Nicelv, thank you, but have I ever seen 3^ou before ? Violet. {Smiling) Of course you have. MacFarland. {Casually surveying her) I don't recall you. 76 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Violet. {With affected coyness) Probably not. {Nipping a rose petal with her lips) The last time yoii saw me I was in a bathing suit. Dolly. {Shrezvdly) Where? \^iOLET. None of your business. IvIacFarland. Where ? Violet. {Pleasantly) Long Beach, California. Dolly. {Quickly to MacFarland) V/ere you ever there ? MacFarland. Once — but I am sure I didn't see this lady. Violet. {Smiling coquettishly) Oh yes you did. MacFarland. {Mimicking) Oh no I didn't. Violet. Last New Year's day. (MacFarland shakes his head) You saved my life. Dolly. Did you? MacFarland. {To Dolly) The woman I saved was a brunette. Violet. {Flecking a flower, zvith girlish modesty) Last winter, I was a brunette. (Wrenn up L. snickers. Dolly glances at him. He instantly becomes dignified.) Dolly. {To MacFarland) What were you doing at Long Beach? MacFarland. {Flecking his cigar gravely) Watching the waves come in. (Violet snickers, then bursts out laughing and slaps MacFarland on the back.) Violet. {Joshing him, broadly) Watching the waves come in ! Dolly. {To Wrenn, disgusted) Take him back. (Wrenn takes hold of MacFarland's arm. Dolly starts down c.) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE ^J'J MacFarland. Miss Kamman. (Dolly glances over her shoulder) Did you wish to speak to me? Dolly. I did but I don't now. MacFarland. Why not? Dolly. {To Wrenn) Take him back! (Wrenn tugs at MacFarland's arm.) MacFarland. {To Dolly) But you said- Wrenn. Come on! {He pulls MacFarland rear) Violet. {Blandly) Wait a mmute, Wrenn. (Wrenn stops. Violet goes to MacFarland) I want to give you these flowers as a hero medaL {She hands him the bouquet) MacFarland. Thank you, Miss Carnegie. Violet. Don't mention it. {She starts toward R- 4) Dolly. {To Wrenn, zvho is exiting zvith Mac- Farland) Stop! (To Violet) Wait! I thought you said those flowers were for Simp Calloway. Violet. What of it? Dolly. Is this man another old sweetheart of yours? (Violet laughs) Is he? Violet. He saved my life, Honey — that's all. Dolly. {Suspiciouslv) Is that all? Violet. That's what I said, didn't I? {She continues her zvay fo r. 4) MacFarland. " Just a moment, Miss ^ Carnegie. {Quietly to Wrenn) Does she know Simp? Wrenn. {Confidentiallv) Pals for twenty years. MacFarland. {To Wrenn) Watch me. Wrenn. Sure. That's what I'm paid for. MacFarland. {To Violet) I want you to tell me the names of these flowers, please. {He goes towards desk and puts hall in waste basket) Violet. {Going to desk) Sure — if I can. Dolly. {Going to Wrenn, zvho is at rear d. c.) I thought I told you to take him back ! y8 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE (Wrexn presses his forefinger to his lips and with a gesture tells her to let MacFarland alone. Together they watch the couple from rear l.) T'.TacFarland. (Laying bouquet on desk; to Violet nozv at r. end) I have studied botany but some of these Colorado flowers baffle me completely. Violet. {Sympathetically) That's too bad. I^IacFarland. They are pretty but puzzling. Violet. (Petting the bouquet) Oh, you puzzling posies ! IvIacFarland. (To Wrenn) Lend me your knife. Wrenn. (Giving knife to him) Sure. _ Violet. (As he takes knife) What are you going to do? MacFarland. Vivisect the flowers. (He opens knife and cuts the thread about the bouquet) Violet. (As MacFarland cuts the thread) The flowers ain't down there. MacFarland. (Returning knife to Wrenn) I know, but once, when I was wintering in Italy — (He has been imwrapping the foil. Suddenly he pulls the bouquet in twain, shredding it zvith his fingers. A large skeleton key and a small three- cornered file fall to the desk. Violet ^snatches them. MacFarland seises her by the zvrist and Wrenn ruTts to R. D.) Dolly. (Completely surprised) Oh! IMacFarland. (Tightening his grip on her wrist) Just a moment, if you please. (Uttering cry of pain, Violet drops the key and file. Mac- Farland hands them to Dolly) Permit me — a skeleton key — and a file. (To Violet) Did you know they were there ? Violet. No. Dolly. You are lying. (To Wrenn) Put her BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 79 in cell Number 3, and don't take your eyes off her until I come. Wrenn. (After taking her by wrist) Shall I search her? Dolly. No, a woman can't hide anything in that kind of a dress. Violet. (Scathingly to MacFarland, zvho is assorting the flozvers) I thought I was dealing with a man. Dolly. You were. Violet. AY. M. C. A. boy, not a man. MacFarland. (Perfunctorily) Thank you. Violet. (Enraged, jumps at MacFarland) You Wrenn. None of that now ! (He urges her up) Violet. (To Wrenn) I'll take my time to it. (To MacFarland, as Wrenn pulls her toward rear d.) Y. M. C. A! Mama's little baby boy! Y. M. C. A. Wrenn. (Tugging at her to pull her thru door- way) I Must C. U. (I must see you.) Violet. (To Wrenn) Stop jerking me ! (She hits him on jazv and they exit rowing. Dolly closes door) MacFarland. (To Dolly) Gee, I hated to do that, but our little jail must be protected. Dolly. (Coming dozvn) Mr. MacGinniss, you are the queerest criminal I ever knew. MacFarland. (Tying flozvers which he has been putting together) Thank you — and permit me to observe that you are the queerest officer I ever knew. (r. end of desk) Dolly. (Shrezvdly, at up side of desk) How many officers have you known ? MacFarland. Enough to convince me that a clever man can dodge all of them — unless he meets one like you. Dolly. Explain yourself. So BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacP'arland. (Wrapping foil about bouquet) I beg to be excused. Dolly. As an officer of the law, I demand an explanation. MacFarland. As your humble prisoner, I insist upon profound silence. Dolly. Why ? MacFarland. (Offering her bouquet) Will you accept this little bouquet with my compliments ? . Dolly. (Ignoring it) I can't understand you at all, Mr. MacGinniss. INIacFarland. (Picking up iron ball) No. Dolly. No. You are brave and polite and in- telligent, and yet you forged. MacFarland. (Smiling) A regular jig-saw puzzle. (With the iron ball in one hand and bouquet in other he starts up) Dolly. Wliere are you going? MacFarland. To enjoy the floral solitude of cell No. 2. Dolly. (Indicating couch. Commandiyigly) Sit down. MacFarland. Yes, ma'am. (He crosses to couch and sits) Dolly. (As she takes gun holster from cabinet) Just who are you, Mr. MacGinniss? (During the follozving, Dolly straps holster around her waist and going down to desk, lean's against r. side of it while cross-examining MacFarland) MacFarland. (Simply) MacGinniss. Dolly. Yes, but who are you? MacFarland. (Caressing ball and chain) Do I look like Washington crossing the Delaware? Dolly. Really, now MacFarland. (Proudly) I am a bird of pas- sage flitting hither and thither o'er the broad green expanse of America, and I — (He has risen in his enthusiasm) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 8i Dolly. Sit down. MacFarland. Yes, ma'am. {He sits, placing iron ball on the floor) Dolly. (Very gravely) You are a forger, Mr. MacGinniss ? MacFarland. I beg your pardon — I forged but I am not a forger. {He has risen) Dolly. Sit down. MacFarland. {Obeying) Yes, ma'am. Dolly. {Crossing to c.) You are a forger but you are something more. MacFarland. Now what have you discovered? Dolly. I have discovered that you are a man. (iMacFarland rises and bozvs politely) Sit dov/n. MacFarland. But Dolly. Sit down MacFarland. {Humbly) Yes, ma'am. {He sits) Dolly. I suspected you were a man the moment I saw you. MacFarland. Ah, Lady CHfford. You make me blush. {Hides face behind bonquet) Dolly. If you had not said what you did, I should never have suspected you of being anything else. MacFarland. {Rising anxiously) Am I any- thing else ? Dolly. If only you had not said " Believe me, Xantippe ". MacFarland. {Disgusted with himself) I'll never say it again — Believe me, X — {Checks him- self, then starts towards her penitently) Is that profanity out here? Dolly. No, but it told me who you were, and what you were. MacFarland. Miss Kamman — {Unable to drag the ball, MacFarland returns to it, picks it up and carrying it, goes to the desk, thoughtfully. Dolly 82 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE is gazing sadly front) Miss Kamman, I am not what you think I am. Dolly. Then why did you forge that check? MacFarland. I didn't really forge it. Dolly. You just said so. MacFarland. {Puts iron hall on table) There is a little — a little mystery connected with this affair, Miss Kamman. Dolly. {Watching him closely) There is a big mystery. MacFarland. {Humoring her) Very well — a big mystery. Dolly. Can't you clear it up? MacFarland. {Lower l. facing her) It will clear itself up. Dolly. When ? MacFarland. As soon as I hear from those telegrams you sent to New York last night. Dolly. To Arthur Sole and Thornton Brown? MacFarland. {Crossing to her) Yes. They are my friends and will explain everything — every- thing. Dolly. {Slozvly, joyfully apprehensive) Do you mean to tell me that MacFarland. I don't mean to tell you anything. {They are now face to face) Dolly. You just said MacFarland. In time the truth will all come out. I am an innocent man. Dolly. Then prove it. MacFarland. I can't. Dolly. You just said you could. MacFarland. And I can, too. Dolly. Then do it. MacFarland. I can't. I must not. I am honor- bound not to say a word until — (Dolly gazes at him with mingled mystery and contempt) You think I'm lyings don't you? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 83 Dolly. Can you blame me? You tell me you are innocent. I ask you to prove it. You say you can't. Then you say you can. Then you say you can't. Mr. MacGinniss, I want to believe that you are innocent, but — (She pauses a mornent, then shakes her head) MacFarland. (Resting ball on l. end of desk) Miss Dolly, when the proper time comes. Brown and Sole will explain everything — I promise you they will — (She looks at him zvith quiet emotion) Miss Kaniman, after I have proved to you that I am not a criminal — after I have proved beyond all doubt that I am an innocent, honest, honorable, hard- working citizen — (He lays his hand gently upon hers) Dolly. (With quiet firmness) Until you have proved that, remember you are a prisoner of the law and I the deputy sheriff of this county. (She takes his hand off hers and puts it on desk) MacFarland. Yes, ma'am. (They gaze into each other's faces several moments, gravely. ) Dolly. (Hopefully) Are you sure your friends can explain everything? MacFarland. Everything. Dolly. Can they explain — Violet? MacFarland. Violet who? Dolly. Violet Bathing Suit. MacFarland. Oh, I can explain that myself. Dolly. Then do it. MacFarland. I spent the holidays on the Pacific Coast. New Year's afternoon I was at Long Beach. Many were bathing. I wasn't. Violet ven- tured out too far, the undertow caught her and carried her to sea. I heard her scream, jumped in, swam to her assistance — And there you are. Dolly. It is strange you did not remember her. 84 B.ELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacFarland. Well — you see Dolly. Go on. P-IacFarland. I did not take a good look at her. Dolly. Why ? I'IacFarland. Didn't have time. Dolly. Why not? MacFarland. W^ell, you see — (Pauses) Dolly. Yes, go on. MacFarland. I am going on. Well, you see as I was carr^dng her out of the water, I saw a police- man. Dolly. And r- ? MacFarland. I was in a hurry so I dropped her and departed immediately. Dolly. Then you are a fugitive from justice ! MacFarland. (Starts up c.) I am a bird of passage — a wazza zu passage. Dolly. (Firmly) Sit down. MacFarland. Same place ? Dolly. Yes. (He thrusts bouquet into his pocket and, carrying ball in right hand, starts to- wards couch. Dolly, supreme master of the situa- tion, stands watching him, her arms folded. Shrewdly) If you are not really a criminal, how do you happen to know so many tricks of the trade ? MacFarland. (Halting) I used to read the New York papers. Dolly. (Shrezvdly) Is that all? MacFarland. I also went to every crook play that came to town. Dolly. What else did you do? MacFarland. That's all I had time to do. (The telephone rings.) Dolly. (In telephone) Hello — Yes — (To Mac- Farland nozv at couch) A telegram. MacFarland. For me ? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 85 Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. (Smiling) Good! It's from Sole and Brown, telling me they've fixed it up with the proper authorities to keep me out of Sing Sing. Dolly. (In telephone, as MacFarland 'sits on couch) Very well. Read it and I will take it down. (Seating herself in desk chair, she takes pencil and paper from drawer and places them conveniently on desk. Menzvhile — ) MacFarland. (Enthusiastically, as he pets the iron hall) It's only a question of time now when you will know the truth about everything. It is certainly bully to have friends who are always on the job ! What is your favorite kind of ring — one lone diamond all by himself or one completely sur- rounded by a flock of pearls? Dolly. (In telephone) All right. Read it — (As she writes the message — ) Yes — Yes — Yes — Is that all? — Now see if I have it right. (Reading message into 'phone) " George MacGinniss, County Jail, Delta, Colorado." MacFarland. (Smiling, as he places hall on floor) Yes, that's my hotel. Dolly. (Reading into 'phone — slozvly) " Thorn- ton Brown lost at sea." MacFarland. (Bewildered) There must be some mistake. Read it to the operator again. Dolly. (In 'phone) To make sure there is no mistake, I will read it to you again. (Reading) " Thornton Brown lost at sea. Signed, A friend." (MacFarland makes zvry face and swallozus as if he zvere swallowing a pumpkin. Dolly in 'phone) Word for word? — All right. Good-bye. (To Mac- Farland, as she hands up receiver) There is no mistake. MacFarland. (Stunned and disappointed) I never thought that of Thornt ! But thank God Sole is still alive. 86 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE {The telephone rings.) Dolly. {In 'phone) Hello— (To MacFar- laxd) Another telegram. MacFarland. {Surprised) For me? Dolly. Yes. {Writing as she speaks) "Arthur Sole lost at sea. {Sing song, Rhymed couplet) " He tried to save his dear friend Brown, Almost succeeded, then both went down." MacFarland. {Ghost-like) Sing Sing! {Com- pletely unnerved, he rolls limply hut comically off the couch as the curtain falls) {Curtain rises immediately discovering MacFar- land stretched out on floor, the flowers upon his breast. He is all in, down and out, hut funny. ) Curtain BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 87 ACT IV Scene: The same as Act III. Early morning a week later. The room is discovered in darkness. Pres- ently the dull gray light of dawn drifts in thru the zvindozvs. A rooster crozvs immediately off R. A moment later, a second rooster crows somezvhat farther off. A fezv moments later, a third rooster crozvs, barely audible. Rooster No. I then crozvs, Number 2 answers him, No. 3 anszvers No. 2. The rooin, meanwhile, has been grozving brighter. The new desk and chair are revealed standing against the zvall betzveen r. 2 and R. 3. The desk is a small roll-top affair with the top down. There is a 'small gold framed landscape picture above the desk and a pretty zvicker waste basket on its dozvn side. A wolf rug is in front of it. The couch is now against the wall betzveen l. 2 and l. 4. A large bear skin rug is hi front of it. The room is perceptibly more tidy than in Act II. The maps hang square with the world. The books on the safe are orderly arranged on a scalloped edged cloth. The c. desk has a nezv white blotting pad and a vase of flowers but no litter. And the spittoon has been re- placed by a small stand upon which, in an Indian flower pot, sits a fern. There is a bob- cat rug in front of the c. de^^. A Navajo rug in front of the cabinet. Two red Navajo rugs R. and L. center. The windows are draped with short lace curtains tied back with pink ribbon's. Dolly Kamman is discovered asleep on the 88- BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE couch. A large white pillozv is beneath her head and a pretty purple and ivhite Navajo blanket covers her. In front of the couch is a pair of high top tan shoes. At the foot of the couch, a pair of pretty moccasins, heavily beaded. Dolly's identity is not revealed until she rises to a sitting posture. Above the couch, and leaning against the zvall, is a green portable screen. The clcdter of hoofs, approaching at a steady trot, is heard off R. A dog barks, a shot rings out. The dog yelps. Dolly sits up. Tzvo more shots in rapid succession. Dolly springs out of bed. She is dressed in a pretty Japanese kimono and slippers. She hastens to R. 2 and peers out. The hoof clatteriyig is now very near. Dolly. Oh! {She hastens to couch, puts on moccasins and runs to r. 4. The clattering of hoofs meanwhile has ceased. Aj'rived at r. 4 Dolly un- locks it and swings it open) Father! {Enter Kamman, haggard and dirty, a zveek's grozvth of beard and his new pearl gray Stetson battered and torn — a limp felt thing. One coat sleeve is ripped frojn zvrist to shoulder. Dolly hugs him fervently) Kamman. {Holding her from him after having kissed her ardently) What the thunder are you domg here? Dolly. {Smiling) A deputy sheriff is a deputy sheriff, pa. {Closing door) Were you doing that shooting ? Kamman. {Crossing to cabinet) Yes. I scared Shorty WilHam's dog. Dolly. {Pained) What for? Kamman. {Opening cabinet door) If it hadn't BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 89 been, for him we'd got those bank robbers clean handed. Dolly. How is that? Kamman. (Taking Colts from holster and ex- tracting empty shells at desk l.) Shorty joined us the second day out. The dog tagged him. We found the gang's trail about three hours after Shorty found us ; tracked it four days ; surrounded the men up at your hunting cabin, and were just crawlin-; in on them — they didn't know we were around — when that blasted dog barked at a bob-cat. Out they rushed and — {Hanging holster belt in cabinet) Where's Wrenn? Dolly. {Deeply concerned) Did you lose them? Kamman. {Coming down) No, but — Where's Wrenn ? Dolly. {At his side, gemdnely concerned) Did they get away ? Kamman. We had to shoot 'em. (Dolly shud- ders, turns and goes tozuards couch) Where's Wrenn ? Dolly. Asleep. {Puts blanket on sofa l.) Kamman. {At desk c. surveying the room) All fussed up, eh? Dolly, {Folding Navajo blanket) I had to be doing something. Kamman. Any mail? Dolly, Nothing important except a telegram from the New York officers. Kamman. Where is it? {He begins to pull out drazvers of desk) Dolly. In my desk. Kamman. {Noticing new desk, going tozvard it, smiling) When did it come? Dolly. {Opening upper drawer) The day after you left. Kamman. Have you been here all that time? 90 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. (Handing him telegram) A deputy sheriff IS a deputy sheriff. (She goes to couch) Kamman. (Telegram in hand) The officers left Denver yesterday. That means they will ^et here on the noon train to-day. Dolly Unless they come on the early passen-er by way of Grand Junction. j f ^ Kamm^^n. (Crossing to desk) They won't do that. (Dolly spreads the screen at head of couch then turns to safe. Opening upper drawer of lus own desk) Are you sure MacGinniss and Simp didn t know each other before they met in your cabm that niQ-ht ? j y i P?^^^/ri {J^^^^'^^9 ^kirt and waist from top of safe) Why? ^ ^ ^ Kamman. (Taking cigar box from drawer) bimp and those bank robbers were member^ of the same gang and it looks like MacGinniss was in it too. ^ Dolly. (At screen with clothes) I don't belieye Kamman. (Opening box) You never can tell {Looking into box) Where in thunder are my cigars ? ^ ■.P^J:}^^: (^Mnd screen, looking over) Mr MacGinniss smoked the last one yesterday Kamman. That's a pretty note ! (Slamming the drawer shut) And they were straight Havanas, 1-^^^^^- , ^^"^ ^f ^^9^^^' behind screen) That's what Mr. MacGinniss said. ^ Kamman. Damn Mr. MacGinniss ! Dolly (Same) Wrenn said you said to mye him all the luxuries of life. Kamman. I didn't say to give him my Havanas. , Dolly. (Same) Mr. MacGinniss says your cigars and the Rocky Mountain sunrises are the only luxuries this town affords. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 91 Kamman. Haven't had a good smoke for a week. Bought that box brand new not thirty minutes be- fore I left town. Now look at it. (Dolly peeps over screen) Look at it! {He hurls it into waste- basket) Dolly. (Folding screen) Mr. MacGinniss was afraid you might not like it. (She is now dressed as in Act IL Her Colts is in holster, strapped about her zvaist) Kamman. (Going tozvards her as she replaces screen at head of conch) How would you like it if some one had smoked your cigars ? Dolly. I wouldn't mind it if that someone re- placed my cigars the wa.y Mr. MacGinniss replaced yours. (Going to her desk, she opens second drawer and, taking out a box of cigars, extends to Kamman opened) Kamman. (Delighted) Well, I'll be Dolly. Ah — ah — (Pokes a cigar in his month) Kamman. (Admiring cigar, zvhich he holds in hand) Dolly, it's a shame to let a man like that go to prison. Dolly. (Laying her hand gently upon his fore- arm as he unzvraps cigar's foil) Isn't there some way we can keep him from going to prison ? Kamman. The time to have thought of that was up in your cabin. Dolly. Couldn't — couldn't we just let him — ? (She hesitates) Kamman. What? Dolly. • (Going to c. desk) Nothing. Kamman. What's happened, Dolly? Dolly. (Taking him gently by the arm) Go home and get your breakfast. Kamman. You're coming v/ith me. Dolly. (Escorting him slozvly tozvards R. 4) I will come just as soon as I straighten up the office. Kamman. I'll stay and help you. 02 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. {Opening r. 4) Wrenn will help me. Kamman. I will. Dolly. You have been riding all night and I know it. Go home ! Kamman. {In r. 4) All right. I'll put up Monk and shave, and if you're not home by that time rU come down and get you. Dolly. All right. Kamman. {Exiting) Now remember. Dolly. Yes. Good-bye. {Exit Kamman r. 4. Dolly stands in tJie doorzuay watching him a fezu moments. Presently the hoofs of his horse are heard clicky-te-clicking at an easy canter off r. She zvaves her handkerchief at him a moment, closes the door, goes to rear d. c. and, unbolting it, opens it) Wrenn - —oh, Wrenn ! Wrenn. {Sleepily, off rear) Y-e-s ! Dolly. Aren't you up yet? \V^renn. {Off) Yes. (Dolly goes dozun to couch, picks up kimono and pillozv and takes them up to safe, places them on top of blanket and is re- turning to c. desk as Wrenn appears in rear d. Enter Wrenn. He zveafs a lay dozim linen collar, an orange colored tie and is half asleep. Yazvning) What is it, Dolly? Dolly. {A^ot looking at him) Fetch Mr. Mac- Ginniss out to see the sunrise. Wrenn. All right, Dolly. {He yazvns) Dolly. Wrenn ! Is Mr. MacGinniss comfort- able? Wrenn. He ought to be with all the new clothes and fixing he's got from Denver. {Starts up c. Dolly frozvns zvorriedly) Dolly. Wrenn, have you ever overheard Simp or Mr. MacGinnis say anything that led you to be- lieve they knew each other before they met at my cabin. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 93 Wrenn. Can't say I have, Dolly. But Violet's been talkin' a lot lately. Why? Dolly. What did she say? Wrenn. Well, I won't repeat all she said — but the jist of her profanity was that she knows some- thing so bad about MacGinniss that it makes Simp Calloway look like an angel. Why? Dolly. Some people suspect Mr. MacGinniss of being Simp's partner. Wrenn. (V/isely) I've suspicioned him all the time. Dolly. You never mentioned it before. Wrenn. You never asked me to. Dolly. Fetch him out to see the sunrise. Wrenn. All right. (Exit Wrenn. Going to windozv r. 2, Dolly opens it and, taking field-glasses from her desk, cleans the lens carefully, thought- fully, with her handkerchief. Re-enter Wrenn zvith MacFarland. To MacFarland) Come out and see the moonlight. (MacFarland is very much discouraged.) Dolly. Good-morning ! MacFarland. {Coming dozmi) Good-morning, Sheriff. {He salutes gravely) Dolly. Do wish to see the sunrise ? {She hands him the glasses) MacFarland. Thank you. Dolly. {As he goes to zvindozv, syinpathetically) You don't look very chipper this morning. MacFarland. {Glumly) I feel about as chipper as a piece of crepe. {Arrived at zvindozjo, Mac- Farland adjusts glasses to the viezju. The sun is rising above the mountains. Dolly and Wrenn cross to c. desk and zvatch him) Every time I look at those mountains I imagine I can see the cold gray walls of Sing Sing. 94 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. {To Wrenn^ handing him box of cigars) Take him a cigar. ]\IacFarland. (Still viczi'ing landscape, sadly) And to think that is the same old sun I used to see in New York ! V\^RENN. (Immediately behind him — bluntly) Have a cigar. JMacFarland. (Taking one) Thank you. Dolly. (Going to MacFarland zvith box of matches. To Wrenn) Fetch in Simp to beat the rugs. XVrenn. All right, Dolly. (He returns to c. desk zvith cigars) MacFarland. (Tenderly to Dolly as he takes match from box) YouVe been awfully good to me, Miss Dolly. (Lights match, then) I wish I didn't ever have to leave you. (As he lights cigar, Dolly, overcome with grief, impulsively lays her head on his shoulder and sobs. MacFarland attempts to embrace her. Remembering she is an officer and he a prisoner, she shoves him away from her') Dolly. How dare 3^ou! (Angrily to Wrenn) Fetch in Violet to do the dusting. V/renn. She ain't up yet. Dolly. (Stamping foot) Get her up. Wrenn. Up she is, Dolly. Up she is. (Starts up) Dolly. And fetch a bucket of water, and a sponge. (MacFarland sits in nezv desk chair.) Wrenn. (Pausing, rear d.) What yer goin' ter do, give someone a sponge bath? Dolly. Mr. MacGinniss is going to wash the windows. MacFarland. (Rising) What? Wrenn. Oh, house cleaning, eh? (Exit rear d., laughing) y* BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 95 (Dolly takes a ten foot dog chain with lock on one end and ring on the other from cabinet and goes to windozv.) MacFarland. Are you in earnest about the windows ? Dolly. (Fastening chain to iron window bar, by slipping chain through ring at end of it) I cer- tainly am. Take off your coat. (MacFarland steps to her desk, lays cigar on it, removes jacket, rolls lip shirt sleeves and trouser hems. Dolly, meanwhile, tests the wristlet lock on one end of chain and the lock on the other end. Then, turning to MacFarland, zvho is rolling tip sleeves) Your ankle, please. (MacFarland extends his right foot demurely to her. She locks the zvristlet about it.) MacFarland. Thank you. (As she goes iip fo safe, MacFarland tests length of chain. Dolly is hanging key in cabinet as Simp enters) (Enter Simp rear d. c. He is clad in overalls cud blue shirt. Wears half pace leather — and — chain hobbles about his shins.) Dolly. Good-morning, Simp. (He glares at her) MacFarland. Good-morning, Simpy. Dolly. (Indicating Navajo rug r. c.) Pick up that rug. (Simp goes sullenly tozvards the rug. Enter Wrenn, zvith a pail of water, sponge and drying cloth.) Wrenn. Here you are, Dolly. 96 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. Take them to Mr. MacGinnlss. Simp. (Contemptuously to MacFarland) Mis- ter ! H MacFarland. (To Simp, warningly) Easy! (The tzvo men glare at each other.) Dolly. (To Simp and MacFarland) You're not here to growl. You're here to work. (She is now R. door. Simp rolls up the rug. MacFarland prepares to zvash zvindozv, Wrenn having delivered bucket and drying cloth, sponge in bucket) MacFarland. Yes, Simpson, we're here to work. (Taking cloth) What's this for ? Oh, yes. (Tucks it under his chin) Dolly. (To Wrenn) Fetch Violet. Wrenn. (At r. 2) She's putting on her Mother Hubbard. Dolly. She's had enough time to put on a dozen Mother Flubbards. Fetch her out. Wrenn. Out she is, Dolly! (Exit Wrenn) Dolly, (l. of Simp observing him carefully as he rolls up rug lazily) Simp, it might interest you to know that the bank robbers at Grand Junction have been shot. (Simp glances at her quickly. MacFarland ceases his zvindozv znashing and gazes at Simp. Dolly glances first at one, then at the other. Dramatic pause.) Simp. (With great anxiety, but trying to conceal it; to Dolly) Who says they're shot? Dolly. Did you know them? Simp. (Taking step tozvard her — emphatically and insistently) Who told you they were shot? Dolly. (Calmly) Did you know them? (Simp gazes at Dolly several moments. A distant train BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 97 whistle is heard faintly off rear. She is satisfied that he knozvs them) You did know them, didn't you? (Simp returns to his rug-rolling. MacFarland resumes washing window. Dolly goes up to R. 4. As 'she is going up Simp makes his way to MacFarland. Arrived at the door, Dolly locks it quietly and puts the key in her waist pocket, keeping her eyes on Simp a7id Mac- Farland all the while.) Simp. If it hadn't been for you they wouldn't have a got them boys. I'd been there myself to help 'em out. If I ever get out of this jail there won't be enough left on you to call the buzzards. MacFarland. {To Dolly) Don't let him out. Dolly. Were they friends of yours, Mr. Mac- Ginniss ? MacFarland. They were not. Dolly. Were they, Simp ? Did Mr. MacGinniss know those bank robbers ? Simp. Sure he did. (MacFarland lunges at him hut the chain is too short.) Dolly. How do you know? Simp. (Sarcastic) Why, don't you suppose I know who he is? Dolly. Who is he? Simp. I'd hate ter tell you. (Crosses to L. with rug over arm) MacFarland. Please unlock my ankle. (Enter Violet, followed by Wrenn, carrying the iron ball. Violet is dressed in a denham Mother Hubbard and without her massive 98 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE blonde szvitch. She is nozv a woman of little hair and is rougelcss and zvan. She looks twenty years older than in Act III. The chain is attached to her right foot. Wrenn places hall on the floor to the right of her. She enters unnoticed by others and does not interrupt the action of the scene.) Dolly. (To Simp) How long have you known Mr. MacGinniss? Simp. Years. Dolly. How many years? Simp. Lots of 'em. Violet, (r. c.) Yes, and so have I. Dolly. (To Violet) How long have you known him? Violet. Long enough to know what a coyote he is. Dolly. I thought you said you met him last winter ? Violet. I was stuffing you when I told you that. Dolly. You were? Violet. Sure ! Why, you little hussy, if I was to tell you how long Fve known that turtle dove, and what I know about him MacFarland. (To Dolly) Unlock my ankle. Dolly. (To Violet) Did you know him before Simp knew him? Violet. (Looking meaningly at Simp) Met him 'bout the same time. Didn't w^e, Simp? Simp. Yeh. MacFarland. Please unlock my ankle. Dolly. Where did you meet him ? Violet. Cripple Creek. Wasn't it, Simp ? Simp. Yeh. MacFarland. (In a rage) Unlock my leg ! Violet. (To MacFarland) You will try to pose as a goody-goody, will you? ' BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 99 Dolly. (Calmly, to Simp and Violet) You are a pair of liars. Violet. What? (She rushes at her, dragging the iron hall. Wrenn puts foot on chain, suspend- ing Violet on one foot a fezv feet from Dolly) Dolly. {To Violet) You are a pair of malicious liars. {To Simp) I heard every word you said to Mr. MacGinniss up in my cabin when you thought I was out for water. (Simp stares at her) You never saw him until that night. {To Violet) And you never saw him until the day he saved your life. {Dramatic pause.) MacFarland. Wrenn, buy Dolly a carload of candy and charge it to New York. (Wrenn smiles. Crosses l. at hack. Violet, in extreme anger, opens and clenches hands.) Dolly. {To Simp) Put that down! (Simp drops ring. To Wrenn) Put him on bean soup for a week. And her, too. Wrenn. Bean soup it is, Dolly. (Simp starts to hit Wrenn) Now you start something! {They cross to c.) Simp. {To MacFarland) Hey there you damn dude! When you get through with them windows, you can black my boots. (MacFarland throzvs zvet sponge at Simp and hits his face, ad lih row as Wrenn drags Simp offc.) Dolly. {To Violet zvho has been glaring at her) Go to your cell. Violet. You little 100 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. Go to your cell or we'll carry you there on a stretcher. Violet. Oh, Fm not afraid of your old stretcher. MacFarland. The next time FU let you sink. Wrenn. {Enters c, taking Violet off) Now you start something. Violet. {To Wrenn and holding hall in a theatening position) Oh, wouldn't I like to bounce this ball on your bean ! (Wrenn seizes the hall and zvr angles her off. Another row as he and Violet exit rear i.) MacFarland. {As Dolly comes dozvn) Miss Kamman, won't you please take breakfast with me this morning? Dolly. Wash your window. MacFarland. It is washed. Now I'm going to dry it. {He uses curtains) Dolly. Stop that! MacFarland. Wrenn ! Oh, Wrenn ! Dolly. {Nozv at desk) Never mind Wrenn. Wash that window. Wrenn. {In doorway) What do you want? Dolly. {To Wrenn) Nothing. MacFarland. {To Wrenn) I want my break- fast. Come here. Sir Christopher. Wrenn. {Quickly, taking order pad from coat pocket ds he comes down — importantly) What will you have for breakfast? MacFarland. Two large juicy steaks — French fried potatoes — a little caviar — some mushrooms — four fried eggs — two on one side and two on the other — asparagus — a cup of coffee and a dish of strawberries and cream. Wrenn. You can't think of anything else, can you? MacFarland. Have you got anything else? Wrenn. I don't think we've got this. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE loi MacFarland. Then what are you writing it down for? Wrenn. I'm learning how to spell. Dolly. {Dryly hut with unmistakable emphasis) There has been more than one jailer jailed for dis- obeying orders. (Wrenn glances at her — sees she means business.) Wrenn. (Pocketing order book, starts up) All right, Dolly. MacFarland. (Remonstrating) But Dolly. If you say another word I'll put you on bean soup, too. MacFarland. (Demurely) Yes, ma'am. (He resumes window-drying — uses the cloth) Dolly. (To Wrenn, indicating rug l. c.) Take that rug and beat it until there isn't a speck of dust left. Wrenn. (Going to l. c.) Gee, I'd rather be a prisoner in this jail. (Wrenn picks up rug l. c. goes up R. 4, and exits) ('Phone rings.) Dolly. (At 'phone) Hello — Yes, this is the county jail — No, but this is the deputy — The sheriff will not be down until noon. He can't be disturbed. — No, he shot two men yesterday and is resting. Who is this? (Greatly surprised) Oh — Yes, we received your telegram but the sheriff was expecting you on the noon train — I see. By the way of Grand Junction — Certainly, come right on up. (Hanging up the receiver, Dolly goes to her desk, takes a hand towel from drawer, goes to MacFarland. Handing him towel) Dry your hands. (She picks up bucket, etc., and places them under her desk) MacFarland. (Glancing at windozv, then at her, discouraged) I never could wash windows, anyhow. Dolly. The window is all right. 102 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MacFarland. Then what's the matter? Dolly. The New York officers are coming. MacFarland. {Amazed) What? Dolly. The New York officers are coming. MacFarland. {Excited) When? Dolly. They are on their way up here now. Give me your ankle. jMacFarland. {Obeying eagerly) Why didn't you tell me before? Dolly. {UnlGcking wristlet) We weren't ex- pecting them until noon. {Risi7ig) Go to your cell. (Crosses c.) MacFarland. I shall do no such thing. Dolly. {Facing him, staniping foot) I told you to go to your cell. MacFarland. Yes, but I have something to say to you. {Crosses c.) Dolly. I don't want to hear it. {She is nozv at desk ) MacFarland. {Rapidly, earnestly) I insist I'm no criminal. I made a bet of thirty thousand dollars with Art Sole and Thornton Brown that I could commit a crime and escape every officer of the law for one year. I forged a check on my friend Brown — and here I am. Dolly. {Amazed) Are you telling me the truth ? MacFarland. Yes. Dolly. Honestly ? MacFarland. Upon my honor. They chased me from Portland, Me, to Puget Sound; from Newark to New Orleans, but they couldn't keep in sight of me. And I would have won if it hadn't been for you. Dolly. I'm awfully sorry I caught you. MacFarland. I'm not. I'm glad. It's worth thirty times thirty thousand dollars just to meet a girl like you. {Clenching hands) What I regret BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 103 is that Sole and Brown didn't have sense enough to stay away from the Atlantic Ocean. They're the ones that are sending me to prison, not you. Dolly. (With quiet determination) If you are not a criminal, you are not going to prison. MacFarland. How can I help it? The only men who know the truth are gone and Dolly. You are not going back to New York. MacFarland. {Dumbfounded) What? Dolly. (Quickly and anxiously) Can you ride a horse? MacFarland. If it is old enough. Dolly. Go back to your cell. Hurry. (Forcing him up c.) MacFarland. (Backing slowly tozvards rear door) What are you going to do? Dolly. Keep you out of prison. MacFarland. How ? Dolly. By letting you escape. MacFarland. You are not. Dolly. (Emphatically indignant) Whose prisoner are you, anyway? MacFarland. Yours, but Dolly. Go bapk to your cell. (MacFarland shakes head. Dolly tries to pull him upstage to- wards rear door. Exasperated) Every second you stand here talking puts you that much nearer Sing Sing. MacFarland. (Nodding slowly) And before I would let you disgrace yourself by turning me loose, I would walk all the way to Sing Sing and put on my own ball and chain. (Re-enter Wrenn, r. 4, zvith rug.) Wrenn. (Re-entering) What's next, Dolly? Dolly. Er — er — Get Mr. MacGinniss' breakfast. Wrenn. (Puzzled) But I thought you said 104 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. Never mind what I said. Get his break- fast. {She opens door r. 4) Wrenn. All right, Dolly — breakfast she is. {Looks for the place to put rug dozvn. To Mac- Farland) Here, you hold it. (Wrenn gives rug to MacFarland. He throzvs it on floor as Wrenn rims off r.) MacFarland. {As Dolly closes door) What are you trying to do? Dolly. {Coming down) Keep him away until you've escaped. MacFarland. I am not going to escape. Dolly. {Earnestly. MacFarland to l. of desk, she at up side) Mr. MacGinniss, you are my friend. You proved it that night up in the cabin when you had me dead to rights. You proved it when you saved me from Simp Calloway and helped me catch him. You proved it the day you brought me that key. You are my friend, and as my friend, I would rather see the sage brush grow- ing above you than to have you wearing prison stripes. {Laying her hand gently on his arm) Now I have lots of friends over in Arizona who will do anything I ask. I want you to go there. MacFarland. {Musingly) Just how far is it to Arizona ? Dolly. A seven days' ride. MacFarland. Horse back? Dolly. Yes. MacFarland. Count me out. Dolly. But it means your freedom. MacFarland. {Laying his hand gently on her forearm) I would rather be a live convict in Sing Sing than a dead free man in Arizona. Dolly. {Cross l.) Mr. MacGinniss, I have reasoned with you, I have pleaded with you. Now it is gonig to be either Arizona or the graveyard. Which will you take? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 105 MacFarland. Let me think it over. Dolly. (Drawing Colts) Which? MacFarland. (Swallowing with difficulty) Arizona. Dolly. (Hoist ering Colts) Run into the cell room and wait till I call you. Hurry ! (She ntns to rear d. c. and opens it) MacFarland. (At door c.) I won't budge an inch until you promise to give me a gentle horse with three big pillows in the saddle. Dolly. A dozen if you want them. And I'll giv^ you a letter of introduction along the line. (Sh- takes his arm and starts up zvith him) But hurry! MacFarland. (To Dolly, zvho stands beside the open door) I feel as tho something dreadful was going to happen when I get on that horse. Dolly. Nonsense. (Shoving him off, she closes door and holts it, hastens hack to desk, picks up 'phone. In 'phone) 24, please — Send a horse down to the jail right away — Something gentle bvi" fast. That's it. A cross between a Standpatter cin.l a Progressive — Hurry. (She shoves the receiver on hook, grahs a pad of zvriting- paper from desk dra-iver and dipping pen in ink-stand zvrites, rapidly hut carefully. Pause of several moments. There is knocking at r. 4. Gruffly) Come in. (Enter Brown and Sole, r. 4. Dolly keeps on zvritiui. Brown goes toward her. Sole inspects bulletin board) Brown. (Affably to Dolly zi'ho does not look up) I beg your pardon, but is the deputy sheriff in? Dolly. Yes. Brown. May we see him? Dolly. Yes. (Sole joins BroVv^n. They are r. , of desk. They glance at their watches, then at each other; then at Dolly. Returning zvatches to pocket, they glance again at each other then at Dolly, io6 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE writing, again take watches from pockets and glance at them. Dolly, writing, seems oblivious of their presence. Pause) Sole. {Watch in hand, sternly) When may we see him? Brown. {Pleasantly) Yes, zvhenf Dolly. {Writing) You have been looking at him- ever since you entered. Brown. {Amazed) Are you? Dolly. I am. {Blotting letter) I suppose you are the New York officials? Sole. We are. Dolly. {Taking envelope from drawer) Then w^hy didn't you introduce yourselves? {The men stroke their chins uncomfortably as Dolly folds letter. Putting letter in envelope) I am a lady even if I am a deputy sheriff. {She seals the letter with a bloiv of her fist) Sole. {Stiffly) We beg your pardon. Brown. We offer you our humble apologies. {Extending cigar case) Smoke? Dolly. {Taking cigar without looking at Brown) Thanks. {She lays cigar on desk and addresses envelope. Brown makes long face. It zvas his last cigar) I suppose you would like to see Mr. MacGinniss? Sole. {Somewhat sharply) That's what we came two thousand miles for. Dolly. {Blotting envelope) He's out at the Fair Grounds. Brown. The Fair Grounds? Dolly. Yes — out on the race track. {She lays cigar on envelope) Sole. I 'phoned up not fifteen minutes ago and you said he was here. Dolly. {Replacing zvriting pad) He was — but he is taking his exercises now. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 107 Brown. (Siniling broadly) Just what kind of exercise ? Dolly. Breaking broncos. (Brown laughs Dolly glances at hhn sharply) Sole. (Quickly) Where are the Fair Grounds? Dolly. Two miles and a half straight north. You can see them from here. (Points to window) Sole. (Looking from zvindow) Is there a taxi- cab in this town? Dolly. No. (Aiito horn heard off r.) Brown. There's one now. Dolly. That's an automobile. Sole. (Rushing to door R.) Stop it! (Sole and Brown rush to door and off shouting Stop that carl Stop it!) Dolly. (Running to door c. and calling off) All right. (MacFarland enters zvearing hat as in Act I. A horse is heard coining) Did you hear us? MacFarland. Not a word. Dolly. (Going quickly to desk R., gives Mac- Farland letter she has zvritten) Here's the letter of introduction. And here's a cigar from New York City. (Giving him cigar. MacFarland puts letter in pocket. Kisses cigar and puts it in mouth. Dolly rimning to door r.) Goody! There's your horse. MacFarland. (JVith a sickly smile) Oh yes, my horse. Dolly. (Extending hand) Good-bye. (Holds her hand out to him) MacFarland. (As they shake hands) Miss Dolly, won't you step over into Arizona once in a while for Sunday dinner? io8 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. {Smiling as she fries to get him aivay) This is no time for dinner arrangements — Hurry IMacFarland. Dolly, if I get out of this alive, v/on't you take all of your m.eals with me sometime? Dolly. Yes — but this is no time for sentiment Hurry! (She runs to cabinet) Wait a minute — • 3-our spurs. MacFarland. Gee, have I got to wear spurs? Dolly. {Giving MacFarland spurs zvhich he puts on wrong) Now, listen: Keep ud a steadv trot every day from sun-up to sun-down for a week. But whatever vou do, don't spur vour horse in the flank. MacFarland. Where are his flanks? I'll bet five thousand dollars I've drawn a buckin.f^ bron- cho ! Dolly. No you haven't, but be careful. Don't spur too far hack. {Opening door r.) Now re- member — three days West — four days South, and you are there. I\IacFarland. Dolly, I love you. Dolly, {Shoving him tozvard door) I like you too, but this is no time for — confessions. IMacFarland. {Turning in doorzvay) Dolly, if I get out of this alive, I'll come back,' but it won't be on horse-back. Good-bye, Dolly, and God bless you. (MacFarland exits r. Dolly closes door. MacFarland's voice is heard off. MacFarland off-stage) Is this the horse? Nice horsie. Nice horsie! I'm not going to hurt you. Nice horsie! {There is a violent noise of horse's hoofs. It clat- ters and then breaks into a zvild gallop) Whoa! Stop him ! Stop him ! Whoa ! Dolly. {Calling from door) Take 3^our spurs out of his flanks ! {Slams door and rushes back to desk and grabs telephone) 24. Gord ! What kind of a horse did you send down here? — You did not. Don't try to explain. Send me my Mollie BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 109 mare the quickest you ever did anything in your Hfe. I told you I wanted a gentle horse. You did not. {Slams receiver on hook) Kamman. (Entering r. 3, laughing) Ha, ha, ha ! Dolly. (Surprised) I thought I told you to take a nap. Kamman. (Closing door) A cup of coffee and a cold wash made me a new man. (Crossing to desk laughing) Did you see that tenderfoot going down the road a minute ago? Dolly. (Anxiously) What about him? Kamman. Funniest sight I ever saw. Horse on a dead run — cloud of dust — tenderfoot hanging on to the saddle horn hollerin' " Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa ! " Dolly. (Coming down) Did he fall off? Kamman. (Lighting cigar) He was still stick- ing on the last I saw of him. Dolly. Good. Kamman. (Puzzled) What? Dolly. I ahvays did feel sorry for a tenderfoot. Kamman. (Starting tozvards door c.) Guess I'll take a look at our five thousand dollar part- ridge. Dolly. (With forced calmness) Who do you Kamman. MacGinniss. How is he? Dolly. All right, the last time I saw him. Kamman. That's good. (He exits c. Dolly stands at desk, hands clenched. Kamman re-enters, quickly and angrily) Dolly! Where's MacGinniss? Dolly. You should know better than I. You saw him last. (She crosses to desk r.) Kamman. (Follozving her) Answer me! Where's MacGinniss ? Dolly. The last I saw of him, he was going down the road in a cloud of dust. Kamman. (Dumfounded) Was that him? no BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Dolly. Yes. Kamman. (Raging) Where's Wrenn? Dolly Getting Mr. MacGinniss' breakfast. Kamman. So, that was it? Wrenn on an errand ; the old man in bed ; and his deputy turning the prize prisoner loose ! So that was the game, was it! Dolly. It looks that way, doesn't it? Kamman. (With azvful calmness) Well, we'll soon knock that little romance in the head. (He reaches for the telehone. Dolly snatches it from hiiu) Give me that 'phone. DoLiY. I'll do no such thing. Kamman. Dolly — (He goes tozuards her. She is at L. of desk as far as the 'phone cord zuill permit) Give me that 'phone (She jerks 'phone from con- nection) Dolly ! ! Dolly. (Calmly) Mr. MacGinniss is an in- nocent man. (Tosses telephone in waste basket) Kamman. I am Sheriff of this County. (He starts for door r. Dolly gets to it first, locks it and stands with her back to door) Let me out ! Let me out ! Unlock that door ! I've got to get that man ! Dolly. Father, we are going to talk it over calmly first. Kamman. Dolly Kamman, you unlock that door ! I've got to get that man 1 (Tense pause, then sharp knocking at the door.) Dolly. Who is it? Sole. (Outside) The New York officers. Kamman. (Amazed) What!!! (Crosses i.. in dismay. Dolly unlocks the door. Enter Sole and Brown mopping faces and fanning selves with their hats) Sole. (Coming dozen angrily to Dolly) Mac- BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE iii GInnIss is not at the Fair Grounds. He never was there. (Mops face zvith handkerchief) Kamman. (Nozv at left center) Officers, as Sheriff of this County, it is my painful duty to in- form you that the prisoner has escaped. Brown. . (r.) What? Sole. (Louder, r. c.) What? Kamman. MacGinniss is gone. (Tense pause. Kamman ashamed hut brave, Sole angry. Brown amused, Dolly resolutely cclUu.) Sole. (To Dolly) Say, you're behind this! Kamman. (To Sole) If you have anything to say, say it to me — I'm Sheriff of this county. Sole. But your deputy let the prisoner escape. Kamman. (Going to him) It don't make any difference what my deputy did. If you have any- thing to say, say it to me. Don't try to jump on my little girl. Sole. (Now close to and face to face with him) If we were alone. Sheriff, I'd give you the worst — Kamman. (Angry) Well, it won't take very darned long to git alone. (To Dolly kindly) Dolly, you just step down and get the mail. Dolly. I will do no such thing. (She crosses to Sole) I am the cause of all this. I turned the prisoner loose. I don't deny it. I'm proud of it. He is as innocent as a dove! Sole. (With supercilious smile) How do you know? Dolly. Instinct tells me. Sole. (Looking at Brown cynically) Instinct? Dolly. (Indignant) Well, whose prisoner is he anyhow ? I caught him, didn't I ? You didn't catch him. You never would have caught him. (Brown and Kamman laugh) And yet you come out here 112 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE and try to tell me what I can and what I can't do with my own prisoner. I may be a lady, sir, but when it comes to getting personal, I can be just as much of a m.an as you are. Brown. {Drolly serious) Sheriff, just what is your deputy's name? Dolly. Dolly. Brown. Miss Dolly, permit me to introduce you to your vanquished foe, Mr. Arthur Sole. Mr. Sole will treat the crowd immediately. Dolly. (Staring at Sole in blank ajnazement) Sole? Arthur Sole? (Sole nods) I thought you were drowned? Sole. No, — I'm one of the souls that were saved. Dolly. But someone telegraphed Mr. Mac- Ginniss that you had been lost in the Atlantic Ocean. (A horse is heard approaching ojf rear.) Sole. That was a little joke on the part of my friend Brown. (Sole indicates Brown) Dolly. (Ga>s'f;z^ oi Brown) Brown? Thornton Brown? Brown. Who told you? Dolly. Then neither of you was drowned? Sole. No. Dolly. Not at all? Broow^n. Not once. Dolly. {Rnshing to cabinet for her hat) Oh, what have I done ! What have I done ! {She starts for door) Kamman. Where are you going? Dolly. To Arizona, to bring that poor lamb back. Sole. (Astonished) Did you send him to Arizona ? Dolly. (Jamming hat on her head) Yes. Brown. Horseback ? BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 113 Dolly. Yes. {She dashes out) Kamman. {Following to door) Dolly! {There is the sound of clattering hoofs on a dead run which dies azvay. Brown laughs. Kamman looks at them puzzled. He then hastens to desk and awk- wardly tries to connect telephone zuires) Brown. {Down l.) How far is it to Arizona? Kamman. {Busy with zvires) Seven days. {Receives shock from wires and drops them) Ouch ! Brown. Horseback ? Kamman. Yes. (Brown roars with laughter, and Sole zvho is dozvn r. smiles broadly) I don't see anything so darned funny about it. Brown. You don't know George. {He dives into couch face down, and roars zvith laughter) Seven days on a bucking broncho ! {Ad lib business and laughter. Imitates bucking broncho rider) Kamman. {To Sole) Will you tell me who the devil is MacGinniss ? Sole. {Dozvn r., lighting cigar) George M:ic Farland, one of the richest young men in New York. Kamman. That kind of a crook, eh? Sole. No crook at all. He never stole anything in his life. Kamman. Then what in thunder are you chas- ing him for? Sole. On a bet. Kamman. A what? Sole. He said he would escape every officer of the law for one year. So we faked up a crime, he beat it, and we've been chasing him ever since. Kamman. Is that straight goods? Brown. Yes, sir. {Enter Martha r. walking backzvards and carrying the end of a lariat. She pulls, keeping the line taut, and about ten feet behind her comes Mac- 114 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Farland. His arms arc zvrapped tightly to his sides by the lariat. He is hatless, dirty and torn. But the Nezv York cigar, altho broken^ is still in one corner of his month.) MacFarland. {When Martha has hauled him on and dozvn c. Dazed) Whoa! Nice horsie! I won't spur you in the flanks ! Brown. {With rising inflection) Georgie! Kamman. {To Martha) Where did you find him? Martha. Hanging on our picket fence. Kamman. {As the others laugh) What? Martha. I recognized him as the New York criminal, and wrapped him up and brought him back. MacFarland. {Stupidly looking at Brown) Zree days westh — four days souf — don't spur him in the flanks. Brown. {Holding out his hand) Georgie. (MacFarland looks at Brown. Blinks, looks at him again. Turns his head azvay, then tries it again. He seems to be hypnotized.) MacFarland. I'm seeing things. Brown! {Turns and sees Sole) Sole! Pinch me, some- body. Brown. Georgie. MacFarland. Thornt! — {Laughs hysterically and falls on Brown's shoulder) How did you get out of the Ocean? Brown. Did you get to Arizona? {Horse approaching.) MacFarland. No, it was fenced in. Take me down to Rector's. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 115 Sole. (Going to hhn) Mighty glad to see you George. Shake. MacFarland. (Whose hands are tied. Indicat- ing Brown) Give it to him — I don't want it. Dolly. (Rushing in very excited) Well, I found his horse, but I can't find him. MacFarland. Here I am, Dolly. Dolly. (Amazed) Where did you come from? MacFarland. Off the picket fence. (Clock strikes nine.) Sole. (Dozvn r.) Nine o'clock, the year is up. It was a fair bet, the strong arm of the law has you and you lose. MacFarland. Yes, I lose. Dolly. He does not lose. Sole. You caught him and you are a deputy sheriff. Dolly. I wasn't a deputy sheriff when I caught him. Sole. (Quickly and anxiously) What? Dolly. Father made me a deputy sheriff after I caught him. (Kamman and MacFarland laugh.) Sole. (Looking at Brown and sirokinq chin) Oh, hell. Brown. (Same business) Oh, ditto. (Brown and Sole take checks from wallets.) Sole. You won, MacFarland, but the next time we bet on the strong arm of the law, women won't count. MacFarland. Women always count. Thirty thousand dollars please, gentlemen. (Both hand it6 believe me, XANTIPPE MacFarland checks and Brown crosses to Sole at R.) Many happy returns of the day. Brown. {Smiling) Same to you and many of 'em. Sole. {To Brown) Come on, this is no place for a nervous man. Brown. {To MacFarland who is handing checks to Dolly) Georgie — we'll be waiting at the church. (Brown and Sole start for door r. arm in arm. They exit arm in arm during follozving.) MacFarland. Won't you please kiss me, Dolly ? Dolly. {To Kamman) Is that one of the duties of the deputy sheriff? Kamman. {Who is near door r. zvith Martha) I did it, when I was one. I^^Iartha. {Shocked) Bertram! (Kamman laughs as Martha pushes him off r. and follows him off) MacFarland. Dolly, I want to be your prisoner for life. May I? {As MacFarland embraces Dolly, Wrenn enters from r. with basket, sees situation, puts basket down and exits through c. door throwing up his arms in disgust) Curtain BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 117 THE SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT I Oct. 7th. MacFarland's apartment in New York. ACT II Sept. 30th. A hunting shack in Southwestern Colorado. ACT III Two days later. The County Jail at Delta, Colorado. ACT IV Four days later. The same. Place: Neiv York and Colorado. Time : The present. ii8 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE DESCRIPTION OF CHARACTERS George MacFarland, 28 of New York, well dressed, well built clubman. Well fed and per- fectl}^ satisfied with himself and apparently dis- satisfied with everything else. After the first act, play " MAC " for all the romance possible. Simp Calloway, 35, is a wiry man, with several days' growth of beard (this is optional with the actor playing the part, though he should not be "clean") He is quick as a cat, a bit stoop-shouldered ; every line of his body sug- gests alertness, and apprehension. Has a drawl. Arthur Sole, 45. Detective. Tall slender man, w4th deep set eyes, a stern face and quiet manners. Smooth shaven. Thornton Brown, 30. Friend of MacFarland. Jovial and breezy young lawyer. Bright and with a keen sense of humor. " Buck " Kamman, 50. A Colorado Sheriff. A big bronzed-skinned man. Rough, but tender- hearted. Has a gruff voice. " Wrenn " Rigley, 40. The Jailer. A bulky bald- headed man, smooth shaven, red faced, good natured. William, 35. A quiet manservant, used to the whims of MacFarland and meets each situation with the stoic sense of humor that is a genuine treat in a valet. Martha, 40. A lovable and motherly woman, very tender and thoughtful, and careful to say the right and proper thing at all times. A bit BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 119 perturbed and apt to be frightened, but at peace with the world in general. Violet, 35. A chemical " blonde " of uncertain vintage, and the type of " w^oman " that the cow men " take up " with for a time. Breezy and slangy, and not over-burdened with morals and view-points. In the last act all the " steam " is gone. Dolly Kamman, 18. A splendid type of the Western girl, full of life, and with an air and manner that would break a bronco or blaze her trail into a drawing-room. She speaks quickly, thinks quickly, and when a tense situa- tion presents itself, can master and dominate all others. A broad mind, a tender heart, believes in romance, and has a disposition and manner that makes her a " winner ". 120 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE COSTUMES PLOT George MacFarland: — Act L Tuxedo suit. Loose dressing gown. Act IL Badly torn hunter's uniform. Heavy walking boots. Four days' growth of beard. Hunt- ing belt containing Colts in holster on one side and large knife in holster on the other. Between them are cartridges. He carries a big Winchester rifle, 38.70 calibre. Act in. Same. Act IV. Same, with hat from Act I. For last entrance, arms are wrapped tightly with lariat, hatless, dirty and torn. Arthur Sole : — Act I. Wears dark blue clothes all through play. Thornton Brown : — Act I. Conventional clothes for lawyer all through play. Buck Kamman: — Act II. Heavy sandy moustache, much used suit of corduroy, riding boots, and a " Sheriff " Stetson hat. Revolver and watch. Bandana. Act III. Fresh shaven. Clean suit of light green corduroy. Well oiled boots with tops under trouser legs. A new Stetson hat. Act IV. Haggard and dirty. Week's growth BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 121 of beard. The new hat of Act III is now battered and torn, a limp felt thing. One_ coat sleeve is ripped from wrist to shoulder. Simp Calloway:— r . j Act II. Several days' growth of beard. Stoop shouldered. Faded blue riding jumper and overalls. An old pair of plain leather "schapps". Large Colts in holster. Blue bandana about the neck and Mexican boots. Act IV. Old blue flannel shirt and overalls without schapps. Wrenn Rigley: — Act III. Smooth shaven, red face. Loose fitting black linen coat, black baggy kneed pants, and a black sateen shirt. Green tie. Blue bandana. Act IV. Lay-down linen collar. Orange colored tie. William : — Act I. Black suit, black tie. Martha : — Act hi. Calico house dress and sun-bonnet. Violet : — Act III, A very flashy bright-colored skirt, many rings, much rouge and a large picture hat with large plumes. Act IV. Denham " Mother-Hubbard ". Rougeless and wan. Dolly Kamman: Act II. Neat buckskin skirt and leggins. Blue flannel shirt. Dark leather jacket, hat, gauntlets. 122 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Act III. Dark skirt, light shirtwaist, bare- headed. Act IV. Kimono, handkerchief. Back of the screen change to white skirt, shirtwaist, and colored necktie. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 123 124 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE PROPERTY PLOT ACT I Hardwood floor cloth to cover stage Large medallion Rugs to dress Large fur rug front of fireplace Baby grand piano Duet seat for same Popular music on piano Library table 5 ft. long Oblong table 2 Round tables, 24 in. 1,4 ft. bookcase I, 6 ft. bookcase 1 Cabinet Mantel Mirror over mantel Iron fire irons, dogs, etc. Large brass fender for fireplace 2 Extra large arm chairs I Arm cltair 4 Straight chairs I Settee I Pedestal 1 Statue for pedestal Heavy plush curtains for windows Lace curtains for windows Mahogany clock for mantel 2 Large brass candlesticks for mantel I Tobacco jar on mantel BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 125 9 i « ^ c:^ K ?: oo E- ■3- 'Z^. ^. z •■£.< UJ 1 . <^ -„a >i'/fi.,^ 126 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Box of cigars on table c. Matches in stand Ash receivers about stage Cheque book Writing materials on desk Large desk blotter, etc. Fountain pen for " BROWN " Fountain pen for " MAC " Cigarettes A "$100.00 bill" for "SOLE" Pocketbook for " SOLE " Silver-plated tape measure for " SOLE " Note book for " SOLE " Nickel-plated pocket-size flashlight for " SOLE " Magnifying lens for " SOLE " Small pair of silver-plated calipers for " SOLE Large batch of photographs for " MAC " Small pocket-size kodak for " SOLE " Desk telephone set New York Telephone book ACT II Ground cloth to cover stage Hood mantel Rough hand-made furniture throughout Table 48 in. x 30 in. 4 Chairs Washstand and water bucket Cupboard with dishes Rustic beadstead, made out of pine saplings roped together and provided with rope springs upon which are pine boughs Canvas covered camp bed, rolled up and tied ready to use Bench BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 127 ; I Blue steel 45-70 Cal. Colt revolver in holster. , Army and Navy model. New — " MAC " j 6 Cartridge belts with loaded cartridges j I Winchester rifle for '' DOLLY " | Wooden candlestick with candle j Matches \ Laro-e hunting knife in sheath for " MAC " \ Matches for " MAC " I Tin dipper for water bucket I Small badger for " MAC " (or squirrel) | Pipe and tobacco for " MAC " . AVash basin j Towel, on back of cupboard door I Bar of soap j Piece of gunny-sack j Tin basin in cupboard 1 Several pieces of kindlinc^ wood ' Silver match safe for "MAC" ' Tooth brush for " MAC " 1 % bushel of potatoes in sack l I Sharp potato knife I Heavy bolt and lock on c. door, with key 1 A small size 22 cal. Winchester is concealed in the ^ blankets of the camp bed \ Tin coffee pot, in cupboard : Tin coffee can containing coffee, ground ; in cup- j board ' Large box of parlor matches in cupboard ' Cigarettes for " SIMP " ; (preferably cigarette ! papers and tobacco) Deck of playing cards in cupboard Another wooden candlestick with candle in cup- i board ;;i 2, 45 cal. single action revolvers for " KAMMAN " ] and " SHERIFF " \ I, 32 cal. blue steel Smith & Wesson revolver for i " DOLLY " 128 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE oj BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 129 \ i ACT III ' Ground cloth to cover stage ] 4 Navajo blanket rugs \ I Flat-top desk, oak j I Sv/ivel chair for same ] I Leather cushion for same 5 I Office safe . ! I Old-fashioned desk i I High-back swivel chair for same i I Leather cushion in same ' I Clothes cabinet 1 Rifle or gun rack, with rifles and handcuffs hung '• on pegs j Great quantity of papers on desks j Materials for writing, etc., on both desks 2 Waste paper baskets, almost filled with material ; Heavy iron bolts on doors ,i White sign printed " NO ADMITTANCE " \ Black bulletin board on which are thumbed tacked . i notices of " REWARD ", " LOST, STRAYED , ■ or STOLEN " notices, etc. Also boldly printed 'i circular reading: ' $5,000.00 REWARD : i FOR TFIE CAPTURE OF GEORGE MAGGIN- 1 NISS ; ■\ Description ;: Door R. 2, sign painted " COUNTY JAIL ", below i that " SHERIFF'S OFFICE " ] Large faded map of Colorado, on r. wall "i Large map of the United States on l. wall ' Stack of old record books on top of safe i i I30 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Old spittoon 6 Remington rifles — 38-70 cal. Whiskey flask in drawer of desk Tumbler for " WRENN " Key Box of cigars for " BUCK " Telegram for " BUCK " Desk telephone set on desk Old-fashioned faded couch down r. Pair of large spurs in closet Clothes of various sorts in closet Matches Cell key Horse effect off r. Concealed in the tin foil Curtains and shade on window R. ^ is a large skeleton key, and small 3-cornered ^ file. Newspaper cornucopia containing immense bunch of mountain flowers, " VIOLET " The stem of bouquet is long, wrapped with tin-foil, and black thread Iron ball and chain, prac, with iron band for " MAC '' ankle Large pocket knife for " WRENN " Pencil and paper in drawer of desk ACT IV (Same set as Act III) Rooster crow off R., three different effects A new roll top desk and chair are now r. Small gold framed landscape picture over desk Pretty wicker waste basket near desk A wolf rug in front of couch which is now L. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 131 A large bear skin nig in front of it The entire room is more orderly and the maps hang- straight on the walls The books are arranged neatly on a sciUoped edge cloth New neat white blotters on desk Spittoon removed and replaced by small stand upon Avhich rests an Indian flower pot with a fern Bobcat rug in front of c. desk The windows are now draped with short lace cur- tains tied with pink ribbons Vase of flowers on desk Horse effect off R. I^arge white pillow on couch Earge Navajo blanket to cover " DOLLY " on couch Green portable screen leaning against the wa.ll in corner, above couch Dog bark off r. Shots off R. Empty shells for " BUCK " in Colts Telegram Box of cigars in desk drawer, 3 cigars wrapped in tin foil Set of field glasses Box of matches Ten feet of dog chain with lock and ring on one end Chain hobbles for " MAC " Pail of water, sponge and drying cloth for " WRENN " Order pad for " WRENN " Eland towel in desk drawee r Pad of writing paper in desk drawer Envelope in desk drawer The desk telephone in this act must be prac. to break connection Lonj; lariat which is used to tie ud '' MAC " 132 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Broken cigar for " MAC " Clock, and clock strike Cheques in wallets for " BROWN " and '' SOLE Basket for " WRENN " Auto horn off R. Train whistle BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 133 ELECTRICAL PLOT ACT I NOTE : The arrangement of your footlights and ceiling border for this play, should be as fol- lows : In your footlights have The first Six (6) globes RED The next Four (4) globes PINK The next Ten (10) globes AMBER The remainder of the globes STRAW In your ceiling border have The first Four (4) globes RED The next Four (4) globes PINK The next Eight (8) globes AMBER The remainder of the globes STRAW By using the lights in this manner the best lighting and results can be obtained. At rise: HANDSOME INTERIOR. Footlights FULL UP i: Ceiling border ^ UP j Blue arcs outside window at back c. i AMBER bunches in r. u. e. and l. u. e. j ORANGE glow in fireplace r. i. J 4, 2-light brackets with ROSE silk shades on i walls, LIGHTED. l 2 stand lamps on tables, LIGHTED. ' 134 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE Electric wall plate switch on wall u. l. Desk telephone, with PRAC. bell box on set, to ring from prompt. Electric vest pocket flash light to be used by character. " Your lights work changes in this act ". ACT II At rise : ROUGH INTERIOR Footlights y2. Ceiling border 3^. RED Arcs outside window and door at back, to change to Blue. Dull AMBER glow from room l. u. e. Fireplace r. u. is practical. " Your liehts work changes durins: this act." ACT III At rise : INTERIOR OF JAIL. Footlights FULL UP Ceiling border FULL UP Back border AMBER FULL UP AMBER Arc outside window and door r. AMBER bunches outside door at back c. Desk telephone set, and Prac. bell box on set. " Your lights stand throughout this act." ACT IV At rise: (Same as Act III) BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 135 Footlights 54 to work up with the Sunrise effect to FULL Ceiling border same to work up with the Sunrise effect to FULL Back border same to work up with the Sunrise effect to FULL BLUE FROSTED over AMBER Arcs at r. to work Sunrise to STRAW. In this act the telephone connection is " broken " on stage. Entrance lights as before. " Your liR-hts work in this act." 136 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE MEMO AND STAGE MANAGER'S WORKING PLOT ACT I Footlights FULL Ceiling border ^. Brackets and lamps and fire ON. No Music. Curtain. if I could catch them, sir. READY DOOR BELL Not that I know of, sir. DOOR BELL as if vou were immune. READY DOOR BELL in spite of high tide or Hell. DOOR BELL watch this house all night. READY LIGHTS Turn them out. BUS. LIGHTS OUT Turn on the lights. All right. LIGHTS ON Where is he ? READY TELEPHONE Where is he? (Second time) WARNING I'm not excited. TELEPHONE What. He stole my hat. CURTAIN (Ring Act II on the word "What") Foot lights and ceiling border at ^ RED Arcs on back drop ready to come to BLUE. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 137 No Music. Curtain. It isn't safe. DIM LIGHTS TO 1/3. if I have to sleep on the floor. READY LIGHT CHANGE TO BLUE ON BACK DROP. a week if you want to. BLUE ON BACK DROP. hobbled and vour guns loaded. DIM LIGHTS TO y4. don't be slow about it. DIM LIHTS TO Yg. straight home and tell me. Under- stand ? DIM LIGHTS DOWN AND OUT. Does anybody live here? BUS. ON TLIIS BUS. WORK YOUR LIGHTS UP TO REQUIRED PLAYING LIGHT. Anybodv home ? READY FIRE LIGHT. to eat you raw. BUS. ON THIS BUS. BRING ON YOUR FIRE. absolutely alone all night. READY LIGHTS OUT. Pleasant dreams. Nightv, nighty. BUS. LIGHTS OUT. Mr. MacGinniss. Mr. MacGinniss. Mr. MacGinniss. READY LIGHTS ON. Light the candle. BUS. LIGHTS ON. Have you got a gun ? READY LIGHTS OUT. Throw up your hands. BUS. LIGHTS OUT. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. 138 BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE READY LIGHTS ON, _. _ — Who ever heard of gas up here ? BUS. LIGHTS ON. if he kicks me, shoot him. WARNING. couple of bucks before the season closed. CURTAIN (Ring on the word " Before ") ACT III Footlights and ceiling border FULL AMBER Arcs outside window and door r. No Music. Curtain. She's a deputy sheriff now. READY TELEPHONE. and if I don't like it TELEPHONE. What do you know? READY HORSE EFFECT OFF r. 2 cues. getting the best of you. READY VOICES OFF r. Oh, vou. You. You. HORSE EFFECT. No. i. Something doing. VOICES OFF R. Whoop-ee. HORSE EFFECT. No. 2. swam to her assistance — and there you are. READY TELEPHONE. That's all I had time to do. TELEPHONE. by a flock of pearls. BELIEVE ME, XANTIPPE 139 KEADY TELEPHONE. WARNING. Thank God Sole is siili alive. TELEPPIONE. then both went down. Sing Sing. CURTAIN. ACT IV Lights at J4 J Sunrise effect to work outside window and door r. Horse effect ready. No Music. Curtain. — Do you wish to see the Sunrise ? BY THIS CUE YOU HAVE WORKED YOUR LIGHTS TO FULL. Pap"e 8 in the Act. Simpson we're here to work. READY TRAIN WHISTLE. ■ Did vou know them ? TRAIN WHISTLE FAINT. dish of strawberries and cream. READY TELEPHONE. be a prisoner in this jail. BUS. TELEPHONE. We beo- your pardon. READY AUTO HORN OFF r. taking his exercise now. READY HORSE EFFECT OFF r. Is there a taxi-cab in this town? No. AUTO HORN. All right. (Dolly caUing ojf door) HORSE EFFECT. have I got to wear spurs ? 140 BELIEVE ^,IE, XANTIPPE READY HORSE EFFECT. • I'm not going to hurt you. Nice horsie. HORSE EFFECT. step down and get the mail. READY HORSE EFFECT. had been lost in the Atlantic Ocean. HORSE EFFECT. part of my friend Brown. READY HORSE EFFECT. Horse back ? Yes. Dolly. HORSE EFFECT. CLATTER OF HOOFS. DEAD RUN. 1 won't spur you in the flanks. READY HORSE EFFECT. I'm seeing things. Brown. READY CLOCK STRIKE NINE. Did you get in Arizona ? HORSE EFFECT. Off the picket fence. CLOCK NINE (9) Women won't count. WARNING. to be your prisoner for life. May I? CURTAIN (Ring on the word "Life")