French's International Copyrighted (in England, h( onies, and the United States) Edition of the Works of the Best Authors No. 411 THL TLNDERFOOT BY ELVA SAWYER CURETON Copyright, 1921, by Samuel French Amateurs may produce this play without payment of royalty. All other rights reserved. PRICE, 30 CENTS NEW YORK Samuel French Publishei- 28-30 West 38th Street LONDON Samuel French, Ltd. 26 Southampton Street . Strand BILLETED. Jk)medy in 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwood. 4 males, .emales. One easy interior scene. A charming comedy, constructed th uncommon skill," and abounds with clever lines. Margaret Anglin's I success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy to produce and popular th all audiences. Price, 60 Cents. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. A comedy in 3 acts. By James Montgomery. 5 males, 6 females. Cos- mes, modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 2J/2 hours. Is it possible to tell the absolute truth — even for twenty-four hours? It is — least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," accomplished the t. The bet he made with his business partners, and the trouble he got into— th his partners, his friends, and his fiancee— this is the subject of William llier's tremendous comedy hit. "Nothing But the Truth" can be whole-heartedly rommended as one of the most sprightly, amusing and popular comedies that s country can boast. Price, 60 Cents. IN WALKED JIMMY. A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z. Jaffa. 10 males, 2 females (although y number of males and females may be used as clerks, etc.) Two erior scenes. Costumes, modern. Plays 2^ hours. The thing into lich Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, when the clerks d all been fired, and when the proprietor was in serious contemplation suicide. Jimmy, nothing else but plain Jimmy, would, have been & mysterious figure i it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and his everlasting manness. H'i put the shoe business on its feet, won the heart of the girl rk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped that place as a permanent irding^house himself, and foiled the villain. Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature, just A dash of :itement and more than a little bit of true philosophy make "In Walked Jimmy" e of the most delightful of plays. Jimmy is full of the religion of life, the igion of happiness and the religion of helpfulness, and he so permeates the -nosphere with his "religion" that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimism, od cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull moment any of the four acts. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. MARTHA BY-THE-DAY. An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author of e "Martha" stories. .5 males, 5 females. Three interior scenes. Cos- mes modern. Plays 2^^ hours. It is altogether a gentle thing, this play. It is full of quaint humor, old- ;hioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who see the play will recall d chuckle over tomorrow and the next day. Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book -for stage service, d in doing this h?is selected from her novel the most telling incidents, infectious medy and homely sentiment for the play, and the result is thoroughly delightful. Price, 60 Cents. (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 1 The Tenderfoot By ELVA SAWYER CURETON Copyright, 1921, by Samuel French Amateurs may produce this play free of royalty. All other rights reserved. New York SAMUEL FRENCH Publisher , 28-30 West 38th Street London Samuel French, Ltd. Publisher 26 Southampton St., Strand ^"^ M & A APR25i32l ©CI.3 57534 -no i CHARACTERS Jim Fresh, alias Dorothy Dimple, a trouble-maker. Boy Scouts of Mastadon Patrol, San Jose, California : Percy Pickle — Tenderfoot. Jack Pierce — Patrol Leader and a regular fellozv. Caruso Grubb — Thinks he can sing. Peachy Bungle — Thinks he is a story- teller. Willie Bright — A little slow on seeing points. Fatiy Green^ — Handicapped by his appe- tite, • The Tenderfoot ACT I. Scene: Clearing in Santa Cms Mountains suit- able for camp site. Costumes : Boy Scout Uniforms. (Sounds of chopping, talking, laughing, off stage, singing. Jim Fresh enters in ordinary hoy's costume.) Jim. (Peering off into distance) Boy Scouts ! Good ! (Goes forzvard, then draws back) That IMastadon Patrol ! (Frowns) Making a camp, I'll bet a hat ! Shall I tell uncle to drive them off ? It would serve them right! I was too small for their patrol, was I ? I'll lick the whole bunch ! (Pause) No, I won't! (Slaps leg) I have a better scheme than that! A girl could raise hob! That patrol leader has Feminitus now ! I'll innoculate the rest ! Oh, baby ! What a lark ! (Sounds off stage grow louder) I must get out of this ! (Exit) (Enter Jack Pierce, patrol leader, followed by Caruso, Peachy and Willie, all dragging logs.) Jack. (Pausing) Here's the place we chose. It's clear of underbrush, handy to the creek, and shady. What do you fellows think of it? Caruso. Just the ticket. We can go to sleep listening to the murmur of the brook and the cooing of the wood-ticks! Peachy (Wriggling) Are there wood-ticks 5 6 THE TENDERFOOT here ? I don't like the Idea of chumming with those little pests ! Jack. Caruso's spooffing you. Put a bale-rope round your bed. Caruso. That'll keep off snakes, too. (Enter Percy dragging a tiny limb) Percy. (Stumbling over other boys' logs) Snakes ! They don't come out at night, do they ? Caruso. Not the garters; but, of course, you know that that's when the rattlesnake comes out to feed. Percy. Feed ! (Jumps off ground looking fear- fully about) Did you say a rope would keep them off? Who has any rope? Jack. (Sternly) We can't waste rope on so trivial a matter. If you He perfectly still the rattler will merely cuddle down beside you and go peace- fully to sleep. Percy. Wh-what do you do when you w-want to get up ? Jack. (Scratching his head) Me ; I don't want to get up. I can lie as long as any old rattler! Percy. But I'm very restless. It — it would make me nervous, I fear. Peachy. Get someone to go catch a fish and then hold it near the snake's nose. Willie. Has a snake a nose? Peachy. It can smell fish. Snakes will go miles for fish. I heard of a man who led a snake all around Mt. Hamilton with one. Percy. (Nervously) It's a question whether to keep fish on hand or not. Willie. How's that? Percy. It would be handy to lure the snake away, but on the other hand it might draw it in the first place. I — I never did care for fishing. THE TENDERFOOT 7 Jack. We can't stand here discussing trifles. Willie, you and Peachy and Percy bring in the logs we chopped. Caruso, you and — say ! Where's Fatty ? All. Fatty ! You, Fatty ! (Enter Fatty as Peachy, Willie and Percy exit. He is empty-handed except for a btin he is eating.) Jack. Eating again! Where's your log? Fatty. I set it down a moment to rest, and — and Caruso. (Sarcastically) And you just inad- vertently dozed off and woke up with a bun in your hand ! Good work, old scout ! Jack. Here ! Get busy. Put the front log here and the back log over there. (^Caruso and Fatty obey, Fatty puffing and stag- gering under the weight. Sits down on end of log to rest.) (Enter Percy, hacking as before but with head twisted about to look forward. Walks carefully around logs but makes end of his log flop around and knocks Fatty off log.) Percy. Oh, excuse me ! I was looking where I was going so I couldn't see where the log was going. My mistake! (Enter Peachy and Willie with logs. Fatty creeps off and lies down back of a log at side. Percy gets in way of everybody.) Peachy. Look out, can't you? 8 THE TENDERFOOT Percy. Oh, excuse me. (Bumps into WillieJ Willie. For the love of Mike! Jack. That reminds me of Reggie Chesterfield. He never forgot his manners but once. He stepped on a dog's tail and politely said "excuse me," but the dog was a bit rude and in departing Reggie knocked an old lady down. He said "excuse me" to her too, but as the mob began to gather he ran into a steam-roller. That was the time he forgot his manners. Get me, Percy? Percy. (Saluting) Yes, Sir. What are my orders, sir? Jack. Caruso, you can cut some small poles for the top, and show Percy how to handle an ax. The rest of you fellows set up the lean-to frame. (Exit Caruso and Percy. Others start to work. Caruso, off stage, sings. Boys go through con- tortions of agony. Percy enters, holding ax wrong way) Percy. May I help here? I — I have a weak heart. Jack. Is that the way to hold an ax? Percy. (Twisting it so it is still pointed toward his neck) Excuse me, my mistake. The, ah, sing- ing confused me. Jack. Not that way, you boob. Do you want to commit suicide? (Burst of song off stage.) Peachy. I do ! Caruso ! Have a heart ! (Singing continues, getting fainter) Percy. (Fumbling with ax and dropping it on THE TENDERFOOT 9 his foot) Ow — ow ! (Takes foot in hand and dances about) Jack. (Sternly) Did you, a scout, drop an ax on your foot? Percy. No — oh, no! I just stepped on my toe! Jack. Well, step off and get to work. Your tender feet are more bother than a litter of pups. By-the-way, where's Fatty? (All look about and shake heads,) Peachy. Don't worry. He's perfectly safe. Jack. That isn't the point. He's come up here to reduce, not to rest. Percy, find the lazy slob and bring him in. (Rest work while Percy stumbles awkwardly about peering behind things too S7nall to hide a cat. At length he comes to log behind which Fatty lies. Stumbles over Fatty before seeing him.) Percy, Excuse me — that is (Looks fear- fully at Jackj Jack. Remember the steam-roller, Percy ! Fatty. (Sitting up and rubbing his eyes) What about the steam-roller? Peachy. (Goes over to Fatty while Percy goes back and helps on lean-to) Jack told us a peachy yarn about a fellow who was so polite he never forgot to say "excuse me." A dog bit him and he said "excuse me" ; he knocked an old lady down and apologized ; but the poor fellow was run over by a steam-roller. Ha ! ha ! Great, what ? Fatty. But I don't see — what's the point? Peachy. Eh? Point? Why — er — the point is — that is — ^you see — darn it, what was the point, Jack? lo THE TENDERFOOT Jack. The steam-roller smashed it flat. (To hoys) Come on, fellows. Get busy. Fatty, you too. No work, no eats. Fatty. (Bun in hand, takes big bite) When I finish this. Jack. Here you, Percy, hold this cross-piece. (The others get to zvork, Willie inside lean-to. Start to sing in concert. Percy stretches up his neck for a high note, gives a wild szvat with his hatchet and brings dozvn lean-to on others. Wild scramble. Willie lies still) Peachy. Willie's hurt. Come here, Caruso. You're the doctor. Caruso. (Kneeling down by him) Bring the ammonia. (^Peachy goes to bag for it) He got a pretty back knock on the head. (^Peachy hands him ammonia and he holds it to patienfs nose. Willie opens his eves) Willie. What is it? What's the matter? Peachy. You got a swat on the bean. We'll fix it up all right. Here. (Handing Caruso a bandage) Caruso. Jack, will you hold his head up a little? (Jack obeys) There, that's good. (Starts to band- age head) Jack. Percy, better watch this. You'll have to learn First Aid before you can become a First Class Scout. Caruso. Does that hurt, Willie? Willie. Not much. Go ahead. (Enter Dorothy Dimple. Percy starts forward, sees her and stops short, staring with open mouth.) Percy. A girl! Boys. (Looking from her to one another) A girl! (Desert Willie and crowd forward) THE TENDERFOOT ii Dorothy. Hello, boys. Uncle told me to come down and see what you were doing. This is his land, you know. Jack. We're greatly honored, I assure you. Tell your uncle we shall be very careful to injure noth- ing. Scouts never start forest fires, though they often assist in putting them out. As Leader of Mastadon Patrol it gives me great pleasure Peachy. (Pushing forward) I'm a friend of your cousin, Jim Fresh. Dorothy. (Aside) Friend! The crust! Peachy. You remind me of Jim, but if you'll excuse my saying it, you put it all over him for looks. Dorothy. Really ? In what way ? Peachy. Well, he's got a coarse, brassy look, while you Dorothy. (Sweetly) While I? Peachy. Modesty's your middle name. Fatty. Have a bun, Miss? Dorothy. No, thank you just the same. Percy. (Who had been nervously fidgiting and listening) Can you walk on your hands. Miss? It's easy when you know how. Try it. This way. (Demonstrates, coming down so as to bang into Fatty and Peachy J Dorothy. (In natural voice) Sure, I can. That is (Remembers and claps hand to mouth) Of course not ! W^hat a question to ask a perfect lady ! (Looks coy) Percy. Excuse me. But I'll teach you, if you like. You Dorothy. (Hastily) No, thanks. (To Peach YJ What are you boys making? Peachy. A lean-to to sleep under. (Takes her hand) Come, I'll show you. Caruso. (Taking other hand) I'll show you. 12 THE TENDERFOOT Percy. See, this is the way we do (Stumbles over Willie ayid lifts up end of lean-to) Willie. Ow ! Look out, you big stiff ! Dorothy. (Seeing Willie for first time) Oh, you poor boy ! What happened ? Willie. The lean-to fell on my head. Jack. Go ahead with your First Aid, Caruso. It is very interesting, Miss Dorothy. Dorothy Dimple. Jack. Miss Dimple. Ill attend to our guest. (To hoys) Dorothy. (Kneeling down and smoothing Wil- lie's forehead with her hand) Poor boy ! Let me fielp. Percy. (Dropping pole on his head) Oh, my head ! (Holds it and looks out of corner of his eye at Dorothy) Dorothy. Did you break your head? It looks as if it would crack easily, (All laugh.) Percy. (Indignantly) No, but I will if you think it would amuse you. Jack. (Entertainingly to Dorothy, while Caruso and Peachy hind up Willie's head. Fatty has lain down hehind a log) That reminds me of a story my grandfather told. In those days they had neither electricity nor water upstairs. The ther- mometer was below zero. After he was all un- dressed my grandmother discovered that she had not filled the big water-pitcher. Of course she asked him to go downstairs and fill it. He wasn't enthusiastic, but she insisted, lighting him down- stairs by the feeble rays of a candle. When he got half-way down he stubbed his toe on a hole in the carpet and fell headlong to the bottom of the stairs. THE TENDERFOOT 13 He picked himself up and felt himself over gingerly to see if any bones were broken. "Henry," called grandmother. "Hen-ry ! Did you break the pitcher?" Grandfather choked. "No, but I will," he answered, and he did. (All laugh.) Caruso. That old bird believed in husband's rights, didn't he? Jack. You bet! Peachy. (To WillieJ Feel better now? Willie. (Rolling eyes at DorothyJ In heaven ! Jack. We must get him out of this so we can go on with our work. Get the stretcher. Willie. But — I am not so bad as that — I — -- Jack. Keep still. We are going to do this right. f Peachy and Caruso get canvas and poles.) Caruso. Percy, poke this pole through here. ('Percy pokes it through, giving Caruso a jab in the stomach) Percy. Excuse me! My mistake. (Pulls pole back while Caruso doubles up) Caruso. Oh, my dinner ! f Percy puts other pole through and he and Peachy go over to Willie.j Caruso. (Rolling his eyes at Dorothyj I feel faint. Dorothy. Somebody throw a bucket of water over him. Caruso. Cruel one! Dorothy. (Aside). Gee! I forgot! (Rushes 14 THE TENDERFOOT over to him) Poor, poor boy ! Can't I smooth away the pain? (Boys put Willie on stretcher in spite of panto- mimic protests, and carry him over to side.) Caruso. (Rolling his eyes up) It is better al- ready — that is a Httle better. In time it will effect a cure — plenty of time. (Sighs prodigiously ) Willie. (Bursting into a laugh) No, but I'll break it now ! Great ! Did you get that, Percy ? He deliberately broke it — the pitcher, you know. (Everybody looks blank at first, then laugh uproariously.) Jack. (Patting his head) Eh ? What was that ? What's the joke? (Takes out bun) Peachy. Jack told us a peachy story about his^ grandfather. He went downstairs after some water and fell and broke the pitcher. Fatty. Well ? Peachy. He broke the pitcher. Get it? The other fellows thought it a scream. Fatty. (Catching sight of Dorothyj You here yet? Want a bun? (Enter Percy, running. Stumbles over some- thing, recovers.) Caruso. What's chasing you, Percy? A bear? Percy. (Staring, open-mouthed) Did you see it, too ? Caruso. What? A bear? Others. A bear ! Percy. (Striking attitude) A monstrous brown bear ! THE TENDERFOOT 15 Dorothy. Gee whiz ! That is — mercy me ! Not a really, truly, honest-to-goodness bear? Percy. One and the same. Dorothy. What did you do ? Percy. (Importantly) I was strolling quietly along enjoying the beauties of nature and attuning my mind to higher things when suddenly some sixth sense informed me that an alien presence had^ in- truded into my little Eden. My legs grew weak, a queer prickly sensation ran up my spine, and I experienced an alarming shortness of breath. I glanced about to discover the phenomena and stared straight into the eyes of a huge brown bear. My first impulse was to cry out, but I restrained it. One never knows just what attitude a bear will take toward a noisy demonstration. Next I thought of flying, but though I attempted this, using my arms as I have seen birds use their wings, so — (Illus- trates) it was not effective. Peachy. Why didn't you run? Percy. To be quite frank, my mind was willing, but my legs refused to execute the brain's behest. I was stricken with a — I might term it a temporary paralysis. However, I have always believed in the power of mind over matter. I said to myself, you are superior clay; this rude animal must succumb to the power of a greater will than his own. Others. (In breathless interest) Yes? Yes? Percy. So I looked him straight in the eye Dorothy. (Acting it) You looked him straight in the eye Percy. I didn't have any salt. Is salt as ef- fective with bears as with birds? Boys. (Relaxing and winking at each other) Sure ! Percy. Til carry it hereafter. Dorothy. Go on ! What did the bear do ? l6 THE TENDERFOOT Percy. I thought as even the superior human inteUigence is subject to flattery — ^the female por- tion, at least — it could do no harm to be courteous, so I said pleasantly, but firmly, "Nice beary, good beary, you'll have to excuse me for trespassing. My mistake. No hard feelings." Boys. (Nudging each other) Yes ? What then ? Percy. That's all. Boys. All ? Dorothy. (Blankly) All! Percy. Certainly. He excused me. Dorothy. (Going forzvard and taking his arm) I never thought I'd meet a real hero like you ! (Gases up at him with languishing eyes) Percy. (Bowing) It was nothing, I assure you. Mere presence of mind and psychology. A scout never loses his head under any circumstances. (They walk off right, heads together. Boys gather in angry group, sending black looks after them) Fatty. (Weakly) I need nourishment. (Takes out bun) Jack. Well, I'll be horn-swoggled. A hero ! Peachy. (Grimly) Cut out by a tenderfoot. Me! Willie. (Who sat up to listen, falling limply back) Women beat me ! Caruso. (Sings) "When you see another sweetie, hanging around" — etc. Willie. Ow ! (Howls like a dog. Caruso goes on) Jack. We might as well finish the lean-to. Come on, fellows. (All join in with Caruso and go to work) CURTAIN. ACT II Scene : Same. Lean-to finished — thatched zvith pine boughs. Cupboard for groceries at back. Rough table of logs. Boys discovered sitting about leaning on packs, some humming, some rummaging among things. (Enter PercyJ Percy. (Ignoring others and facing audience) The gibbous moon ! The gracious stars ! Peaches and periwinkles ! Cream-puffs and tutti-frutti ! Lollipops and love — eternal, delicious, luscious love ! Umm-um ! (Hugs himself) Peachy. Shut up ! (Throws something) Percy. Lo-ove ! Caruso. Stow it. Choke it off. Shut off the gas! (Throws rock) Percy. (Dodging but unruffled) Eyes of blue, brows of ink Jack. (Derisively) Mulligan stew, dinky, dink, dink. Percy. (Serenely) A mouth made for kisses! Peachy. (Licking his lips) Whose kisses? Caruso. (Disgustedly) Not yours, you big ham ! Willie. (Head still bound up) She was drawn to me from the first. I can still feel her soft touch Percy. Mere angelic charity. She would have 17 i8 THE TENDERFOOT done the same for a hurt puppy. She told me so with her own ruby Hps. Willie. (Angrily) She did, did she? Com- pared me to a puppy ? Wait till my head gets well, you tenderfoot, that's all ! (Exits muttering ) Caruso. The coarse stuff you fellows sling will never win a queen like Dorothy. Peachy. (Sarcastically) How would you go about it? Caruso. I'll take my uke under my arm, creep beneath her window when the moon is high, and fill her dreams with sweet melodies. She will awake, peep out to see the Peachy. And what will uncle be doing all that time? I'll tell you. Loading his little gat and filling you full of cute little bullets ! Jack. While little niece Dorothy stuffs her pretty ears with cotton. Caruso. (Indignantly, imitating playing ukulele) What's the matter with this ? (Sings) Boys. Tunk-a-tunk, tunk, tunk-a-tunk, tunk. Fatty. (Going up to Caruso j Have a bun, do! f Caruso takes it and others heave great sighs of relief) Percy. She is so sensitively attuned to harmonies outside your coarser ken that it is a positive pain to her to listen to you. Now, a refined tenor — (Sings a few lines in a high falsetto) Fatty. (Hopefully) Does she like buns? Percy. (Contemptuously) Buns! She dines on nectar and ambrosia, honey-dew and moon-beams ! Peachy. (Who has been busy over his pack) Beans? Who said beans? We'll cook her some pork and beans. Percy. (Throwing up his arms) Beasts! Swine! Bats! Soulless Snycopations ! Jack. We'll none of us have any souls, if we THE TENDERFOOT 19 don't get something to eat pretty soon. Percy, a scout should be able to build a fire with two matches. You need the practice. Take it over by that log. (Points) Percy. Yes, sir. (Goes out saying) Eyes of azure ! Beautiful, wonderful bits of heaven ! Tan- talizing, heart-breaking eyes ! (Boys begin unrolling blankets and making beds in lean-to.) Jack. Peachy, you may teach our tenderfoot to build a fire. Don't do any of the work. Just tell him. Peachy. (Sulkily saluting) Very well. Caruso. (Softly strumming ukulele which he has unpacked) "The Spanish cavalier sat in his re- treat" Jack. That wouldn't charm a sick cat. If you fellows knew your places — as Patrol Leader I am the host Percy. (Returns and stumbles over Fatty, throwing his sticks in all directions) Excuse me ! My mistake ! (Goes sprawling about picking up sticks. Peachy follows him to log) I can't con- centrate my mind on trivialities. In spite of me it will soar up into the blue. Peachy. If you don't watch your step I'll be sore and blue too, believe me ! Make some shavings first. Percy. (Takes out knife and works. Cuts him- self) Ouch ! I'm killed ! I'm bleeding to death ! Help! Help! (Hops about holding bloody finger) Caruso. Our hero ! I'll fix it. Napoleon ! Goes to first aid kit. Gets bandage and then when he sees cut exclaims) Why it's nothing but a scratch ! (Wraps it up to accompaniment of Percy's moans) 20 THE TENDERFOOT Percy. (Holding fingers) Someone will have to build my fire for me. Jack. No, he won't! A scout doesn't give up for a scratch. Percy. (Saluting) As you say, sir. I'll be brave ! I will display fortitude. I will grit my teeth and proceed. (He kneels and begins to ar- range pile) Peachy. Leave a draft. Pile it against the back- log. That's it. Make one match do. Percy. I'm in no need of advice. (Lights match which goes out. Lights another and holds it to shavings, hut they don't light. After several at- tempts he makes a light. Blozvs prodigiously. Scat- ters fire and puts it out) Peachy. What do you think you are? A Kan- sas cyclone? Percy. Excuse me. My mistake. My lungs are so strong! I forgot to restrain them. (Slaps chest. Feels for matches. Slaps pockets. Tries again) Peachy, lend me a match, will you? Peachy. Sure. (Feels in pockets one after an- other. Turns to other hoys) Say ! Who brought matches ? (All look blank.) Jack. I cold Percy to bring the matches. Percy. I did, but I used them up. Jack. Used them up! You were to bring enough to last the trip! Percy. Excuse me. My mistake. Caruso. (Coming forward) We'll have to rub sticks together. These ought to work. (Rubs sticks — fire lights) (Enter Dorothy.J THE TENDERFOOT 21 Dorothy. " Hello, boys! Uncle asked me toJook in again to see if you were all comfortably fixed. Jack. How very kind of him. Your uncle must be a big-hearted man. Dorothy. (Looking queer) Inside, yes. But you'd never guess it to see him. Jack. I will return with you to thank him for his kind consideration. Dorothy. (Hastily) Oh, no ! You don't know him. He never likes to be thanked. Jack. Then I'll ask him if we can be of any service to him. A scout must do a good turn every day. Dorothy. No! no! He is very peculiar! I wouldn't be accountable for what might happen. Peachy. (To Willie j How odd ! Dorothy. (Drawing Jack to one side up front) I have to be very careful. Of course, if it were only you, but you understand, don't you? Sup- posing that scarecrow (Indicating PercyJ should come? Uncle, as like as not, would bring out his shot-gun, or loose the dogs ! I wish you could get away from this uncongenial crowd. It is easy to see you were made for better things ! Jack. (Darkly) I've been thinking of resigning. Peachy. (Busy getting out groceries, etc.) Do you drink chocolate or malted milk. Miss Dorothy? Dorothy. (Going over to him and speaking con- fidentially) Neither. Do they make you drink much slops ? Of course those ef¥eminite creatures wouldn't mind, but a real man like you Peachy. We can't do anything we want. We get up, cook, eat, wash dishes, exercise, go to bed, all at the whim of our cocky Patrol Leader. I'm thinking of pulling out Percy. (Nervously, to Jack J Don't you think it would be a good idea for me to show our guest 22 THE TENDERFOOT some of the natural beauties about here? I could explain what the different bird calls were (Quail call from off stage) Jack. What is that? Dorothy. (Joining them) What was that? Percy. That — ah — that is what we call the blue- jay. It is very common in these parts and sub- sists Peachy. Bluejay! Why, you bonehead, that's a quail! Percy. Excuse me! My mistake. (Another call sounds) That was what I meant. The bluejay has a most musical note and calls to its mate Caruso. (Winking at others) You meant whip- poorwill, didn't you? Percy. My mistake. Now you mention it (Off stage Cockadoodledo ! Jack. A meadow-lark, eh, Percy? Percy. (With dignity) If you don*t wish to study nature with me perhaps Miss — ah — Dimple will allow me to show her the flora and fauna of these parts. Dorothy. (Taking his arm) I'd be delighted. (They zvalk off. At side just before exit) How can you bear to remain with such coarse jesters? One of your refined nature (Exit) (Enter Willie.^ Willie. Those two make me sick! Peachy. Me, too. You fellows all give me a pain. (Gets pan and begins mixing some dough. Other boys go about preparations for meal) Jack. I wish I'd thought of tablecloth and nap- kins ! Caruso. On a scout camp ! Wouldn't you like finger-bowls, too? And a butler, perhaps? THE TENDERFOOT 23 Jack. Where's Fatty? Fatty. (From behind log, sticking up his head) Did you call me? Jack. Why aren't you helping? Fatty. (Indignantly) Helping! Didn't I help? I sat on that log and steadied it until I was worn out while you fellows tinkered about getting the top of the lean-to up ! I have to rest up some time ! Jack. That reminds me of a story my grand- father told. He and his men had been out in the blazing sun mowing the wheat with scythes and after awhile he came in to see if supper was ready. Grandmother was sitting in the cool parlor knitting. She said there was no kindling cut, so she hadn't started the meal. Grandfather was sore and said he thought when he'd been toiling like a nigger slave in the hot sun she might have managed to leave her cool parlor long enough to get a little kindling. He opined that women had a mighty soft snap. Grand- mother rose up in her wrath. Easy time ! She'd been watching them out in the fresh air, swing, swong, swing, swong, slow and easy, poking about the field in pleasant company, while there she sat, knitty-knit, knitty-knit, wracking every bone in her body ! (Enter Percy and Dorothy.J Percy. (Holding a piece of poison-oak) This is a species of Virginia creeper. It belongs to the family ampalopsis vecchi, of which Fatty. Get away ! Poison oak ! Dorothy. Oh, oh! Poison oak! You poor mutt! Caruso. (Leading her away) Saphead! Jack. Prune! Peruvian sheeny! 24 THE TENDERFOOT Percy. Excuse me. My mistake. (Throws poison-oak into fire) Caruso. Not there! Jack. Not in the fire! The smoke will poison us all ! Fatty. Get it out! Get it out! (All run for fi^e. Percy sprawls flat, jumps up and geiting branch throws it on to Dorothy's hat. She starts to grab hat off, looks scared and pushing it down tight shakes her head to dislodge poison oak) Jack. Let me take your hat, Miss Dorothy. Dorothy. (Hastily) No, no! My — my eyes are weak ! Caruso. (Solicitously) Is that so? Come over here in the shade. You can't be too careful of your eyes. Percy. Those beautiful eyes too delicate for the coarse light of day? I have just the thing. You can cool your throbbing head and still protect the orbs of heavenly blue. (He produces a pair of black goggles and starts to lift off her hat) Dorothy. Stop ! My — my head is very sensitive to cold. Percy. (Taking her hand) Come to the fire. There you can keep warm and be free of a burden- some encumbrance. Dorothy. (Pidling back) No, no! I — that is — I have a horror of fire. I can't bear to go close to it. Pd freeze first. (Aside) Gee, this is getting warm ! Jack. (To Peachy^ An extremely sensitive na- ture. Peachy. (Busily stirring) A regular night- blooming circus. Jack. Do you mean cereus? Peachy. Sure, Pm serious. Never more serious in my life ! THE TENDERFOOT 25 Percy. (To Dorothy — producing knitted skull- cap from his pocket) I have just the thing. These goggles and this cap will make you both warm and comfortable ! Dorothy. (Putting both hands on her hat and holding it down) Stop persecuting me! Percy. (Stepping back on Caruso's toes) Ex- cuse me ! My mistake. Caruso. (Giving howl) Vm not the State High- way, you bifurcated boob. Percy. (Jumping back and bumping into Dor- othy J Excuse ("Dorothy gives him an up- per cut that bowls him over) Dorothy. (Forgetting) Keep off my potato patch, see? Percy. (Staring up from ground) Wh — what ! Peachy. (Coming up, pan in hand) That was certainly some uppercut for a frail Httle skirt like you! Dorothy. (Straightening hat) Tm so impulsive. I hope I didn't hurt you, Percy — dear. (Kneels down beside him and feels of his jazv) Percy. (Edging away) Certainly not. Excuse me! My mistake. (Wriggles back, gives a quick flop over and jumps to his feet) Dorothy. (Following him up) It is queer the peculiar influence you have over me. I feel drawn to you by some strange force. Do you feel it, Percy ? Percy. (Still backing) Er — certainly. Very odd, very. Dorothy. I seem to have a desire to minister to you, soothe you, lean on you. What does it mean, Percy ? Percy. Couldn't say. Very queer. Mysterious. Dorothy. (Sidling closer) Would you fight for me, Percy, like the knights of Sir Arthur? 26 THE TENDERFOOT Percy. Yes, yes. Lay down my life for you ; do it for any lady. (Turns and jumps back) Dorothy. What is it? (Looks left) The bear! Save me ! Save me ! (Wild confusion. Boys running back and forth.) Peachy. A bear! Great flapjacks! (Throws dough all over Fatty, then hides behind the grocery cupboard) Fatty. Eh? What's this? Cake dough? (Be- gins to eat it off his face and fingers, but remem- bering bear rolls over behind a log and goes on eating) Dorothy. (To Willie J Save me! Willie. My head — Pd be delighted (Dis- appears) Dorothy. (To JackJ You will save me? Jack. I — I must look after my Patrol. Steady, boys. Don't get excited. Keep cool ! Be calm ! (Grabs a pole and backs off stage, peering back from behind a tree) (All the zvhtle Percy had been adding to the gen- eral confusion by dodging about in everybody's way, tripping, etc. Finally he shinnies up on top of lean-to, and squatting there looks down . at Dorothy, nozv deserted.) Percy. Get some salt, Dorothy. Look him in the eye. Dorothy. He's coming this way ! (Screams, grabs her hat and throws it off stage) Cowards! He's gone. Boys. Jim Fresh ! (All make rush. Percy, from lean-to makes spring and lands on top of wriggling THE TENDERFOOT 2^ mass. Finallv they all rise and stand in half circle about the intruder) Peachy. Well, the sneak can fight, I'll say that for him. Skirts don't hamper Dorothy. Caruso. Dorothy's no coward. She believes in Women's Rights, all right, all right. Fatty. She likes buns, don't you, sweety? Jim. You bet I do. Percy. (Rubbing his jazv) The dame has a con- vincing uppercut, I can assure you. I believe she's married ! Jim. That was a lapse of memory. Forgive me, Poicy. It was really unkind after all the pointers you gave me in the gentle art of making love! Jack. What was the idea, anyhow, Dorothy? Jim. I was sore because you wouldn't take me into your Patrol last year, and I vowed I'd make 3^ou sorry. Jack. I don't know but you have. You seemed to be pretty popular here. What do you say, boys ? Might we consider Dorothy's application? She strikes me as a pretty good scout. Boys. Sure ! You're on ! Jim. (In girl's voice) Oh, boys, I love you all! Percy. (Coming forzvard and striking attitude) But with a difference ! Boys, I'm for Dorothy, the new tenderfoot I (All join hands and circle around campfire singing ''Tenting To-night." ) Note : The campfire can be electric or made on an asbestos mat. CURTAIN. \ THE TOUCH-DOWN. A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short. S males. 6 females, but any number of characters can be introduced in the ensembles. Costumes mod- ern. One interior scene throughout the play. Time, 2^ hours. This play, written for the use of clever amateurs, is the story of life in Siddell, a Pennsylvania co-educational college. It deals with the vicissitudes and final triumph of the Siddell Football Eleven, and the humorous and dramatic incidents connected therewith. "The Touch-Down" has the true varsity atmosphere, college songs are sung, and the piece is lively and entertaining throughout. High schools will make no mistake in producing this play. We strongly recommend it as a high-class and well-written comedy. Price, 30 Cents. HURRY, HURRY, HURRY. A comedy in three acts, by LeRoy Arnold. 5 males^ 4 females. One interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 2% hours. The story is based on the will of an eccentric aunt. It stipulates that her pretty niece must be afifianced before she is twenty-one, and married to her 5ance within a year^, if she is to get her spinster relative's million. Father has nice notions of honor and fails to tell daughter about the will, so that she may make her choice untrammeled by any other consideration than that of true love. The action all takes place in the evening the midnight of which will see her reach twenty-one. Time is therefore short, and it is hurry, hvirry, hurry, if she is to become engaged and thus save her father from impending bankruptcy. The situations are intrinsically funny and the dialogue is sprightly. The characters are natural and unaffected and the action moves with a snap such as should be expected from its title. Price, 30 Cents. THE VARSITY COACH. A three-act play of college life, by Marion Short, specially adapted to performance by amateurs or high school students. 5 males. 6 females, but any number of boys and girls may be introduced in the action of the play. Two settings necessary, a college boy's room and the university campus. Time, about 2 hours. Like many another college boy. "Bob" Selby, an all-round popular college man, becomes possessed of the idea that athletic prowess is rriore to be desired than scholarship. He is surprised in the midst of a "spread" in his room in Regatta week by a visit from his aunt who is putting him through college. Aunt Serena, "a lady of the old school and the dearest little woman in the whole world," has hastened to make this visit to her adored nephew under the mistaken impression that he is about to receive the Fellowes prize for scholarship. Her grief and chagrin when she learns that instead of the prize Robert has received "a nink card." which is equivalent to suspension for poor scholarship, gives a touch of pathos to an otherwise jolly comedy of college life. How the repentant Robert more than redeems himself, carries oflf honors at the last, and in the end wins Ruth, the fnithf'il Uttle <;weptl-«pn'-t of the "Prom" and the class- room makes a storv of dramnttc interest and brings out very clearly certain phases of niodern college life. There are several opportunities for the^ introduction of college songs and "stunts." Price, 30 Cents. (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) THE RETURN OF HI JINKS. A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short, author of "The Varsity Coach," "The Touch-Down," etc. 6 males, 8 females. Costumes modern. One interior scene. This comedy is founded upon and elaborated from a farce comedy in two acts written by J. H. Horta, and originally produced at Tuft's College. Hiram Poynter Jinks, a Junior in Hoosic College (Willie Collier type), and a young moving picture actress (Mary Pickford type), are the leading characters in this lively, modern farce. Thomas Hodge, a Senior, envious of the popularity of Jinks, wishes to think up a scheme to throw ridicule upon him during a visit of the Hoosic Glee Club to Jinks's home town. Jinks has obligingly acted as a one-day substitute in a moving picture play, in which there is a fire scene, and this gives Hodge his cue. He sends what seems to be a bona fide account of Jinks's heroism at a Hoosic fire to Jinks's home paper. Instead of repudiating his laurels as expected. Jinks decides to take a flyer in fame, confirms the fake story, confesses to being a hero and is adored by all the girls, to the chagrin and discomfiture of Hodge. Oi course, the truth comes out at last, but Jinks is not hurt thereby, and his romance with Mimi Mayflower comes to a successful termination. This is a great comedy for amateurs. It is full of funny situations and is sure to please. Price, 30 Cents. JUNE. A most successful comedy-drama in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of "The New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," "Dorothy's Neighbors," etc. 4 males, 8 females. One interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. This p?ay has a very interesting group of young people. June is an appealing little figure, an orphan living with her aunt. There are a number of delightful, life-like characters: the sorely tried, likeable Mrs. Hopkins, the amusing, haughty Miss Banks of the glove department, the lively Tilly and Milly, who work in the store, and ambitious Snoozer; Mrs. Hopkins's only son, who aspires to be Presi- dent of the United States, but finds his real sphere is running the local trolley car. The play is simplicity itself in the telling of an every-day story, and the scenic requirements call for only one set, a room in the boarding house of Mrs. Hopkins, while an opportunity is aflforded to introduce any number of extra characters. Musical numbers may be introduced, if desired. Price, 30 Cents, TEMPEST AND SUNSHINE. A comedy drama in four acts, by Marie Doran. 5 males and 3 females. One exterior and three interior scenes. Plays about 2 hours. Every school girl has revelled in the sweet simplicity and gentleness of tho characters interwoven in the charms that Mary J. Holmes commands in her story of "Tempest and Sunshine." We can strongly recommend this play as one of the best plays for high school production published in recent years. Price, 30 Cents. (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) W' THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. The famous comedy in three acts, by Anne Warner. 7 males, 6 females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2% hours. This is a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aunt Mary," "Jack," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England ancient maid of all work; "Jack's" three chums; the Girl "Jack" loves; "Joshua," Aunt Mary's hired man, etc. "Aunt Mary" was played by May Robson in New York and on tour for over two years, and it is sure to be a big success wherever produced. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. MRS. BUMSTEAD-LEIGH. A pleasing comedy, in three acts, by Harry James Smith, author ol "The Tailor-Made Man." 6 males, 6 females. One interior scene. Cos- tumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. Mr. Smith chose for his initial comedy the complications arising from the endeavors of a social climber to land herself in the altitude peopled by hyphenated names— a theme permitting innumerable complications, according to the spirit of the writer. This most successful comedy was toured for several seasons by Mrs. Fiske with enormous success. Price, 60 Cents, MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. A most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt and William Morris. 5 males, 4 females. One interior scene stands throughout the three acts. Costumes modern. Plays 2>< hours. "Mrs. Temple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there is an abund- mce of fun without any taint of impropriety or any element of offence. As loticed by Sir Walter Scott, "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!" • There is not a dull moment in the entire farce, and from the time the curtain rises until it makes the final drop the fun is fast and furioits. A very exceptional farce. Price, 60 Cents. THE NEW CO-ED. A comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of "Tempest and Sunshine," etc. Characters, 4 males, 7 females, though any number of boys and girls can be introduced in the action of the play. One interior and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one interior scene. Costumes modern. Time, about 2 hours. The theme of this play is the coming of a new student to the college, her reception by the scholars, her trials and final triumph. There are three especially good girls' parts, Letty, Madge and Estelle, but the' others have plenty to do. "Punch" Doolittle and George Washington Watts. a gentleman of color, are two particularly good comedy characters. We can strongly recommend "The New Co-Ed" to high schools and amateurs. "■ Price, 30 Cents. (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 2 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS DOROTHY'S NE: A brand new comedy in four acts, b 017 400 934 A New Co-Ed," "Tempest 'and Sunshine," a. ^ 4 ;nales, 7 females. The scenes are extremely easy to arrange; two pi interiors and one exterior, a garden, or, if necessary, the two interi will answer. Costumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. The story is about vocational training, a subject now widely discussed; a the distribution of large wealth. Back of the comedy situation and snappy dialogue there is good logic a sound moral in this pretty play, which is worthy the attention of the exp enced amateur. It is a clean, wholesome play, particularly suited to high scV production. Price, 30 Cei MISS SOMEBODY ELSE. A modern play in four acts by Marion Short, author of 'The ToU' down," etc. 6 males, 10 females. Two interior scenes. Costumes m( ern. Plays 2^4 hours. This delightful comedy has gripping dramatic moments, unusual charac types, a striking and original plot and is essentially modern in theme and trt ment. The story concerns the adventures of Constance Darcy, a multi-milli aire's young daughter. Constance , embarks on a trip to find a young man v had been in her father's employ and had stolen a large sum of money, almost succeeds, when suddenly all tracels of the young man are lost. At 1 point she meets some old friends who are living in almost want and, in order assist them through motives benevolent, she determines to sink her owti ari: cratic personality in that of a refined but humble little Irish waitress with family ^hat are in want. She not /only carries her scheme to success in assist the family, but finds romance and much tense and lively adventure during period of her incognito,/aside from capturing the young man who had defrau her father. The story is full of bright comedy lines and dramatic situations 19 highly recommended for amateur production. This is one of the best cot dies we have ever offered with a large number of female characters. The dialo is bright and the play is full of action from start to finish; not a dull moment it. This is a great comedy for high schools and colleges, and the wholesc story will please the parents and teachers. We strongly recommend it.- Price, 30 Cei PURPLE AND FINE LINEN. An exceptionally pretty comedy of Puritan N«w England, \\\ th acts, by Amita B. Fairgrieve and Helena Miller. 9 male, 5 female qli acters. / This i.s the Lend A Hand Smith College prize play. It is an admirable P for amateurs, is rich in character portrayal of varied types and is not too diffic while thoroughly pleasing. Price. 30 Cer (The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced)