CoEyright N° llAl. COKOilGHT DEPOSIT. "TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY" RHYMES BY ARTHUR V. DIEHL BOSTON MARSHALL JONES COMPANY 1921 ^^^ COPYRIGHT- 19 2 I BY MARSHALL JONES COMPANY THE PLIMPTON PRESS NORWOOD-MASS*U*S'A AUG 20 1921 e)Cl.A622474 ••vw I CONTENTS PAGE Prologue 1 In Flanders 4 Yer Money or Yer Life 6 Reminiscence 10 The Spy 12 On the Jambouree 16 Tommy Searches 18 On the Tryne 21 Softie 25 Rats 27 On 'Ampstead 'Eath 30 'Arf a Notion 33 The Lucky Blighter 35 'Ow Abaht THE Cook? 38 Tommy During a Thunderstorm .... 42 The World's Reorganizin' 45 Tryin' ter Ferget 47 Tommy to 'Is Wife . . .... 48 [v] CONTENTS PAGE Tommy's Fall 61 Tommy Won't Agree 54 The 'Arp of 'Eving 57 Sissy, the Pink-un 59 Tommy of the Sub 64 Tommy Wonders 67 Tommy' Blinded 70 The Woman Hater 73 Tommy Thinks it Out 76 Mud 80 The Harvest 83 'Tis They Who Went 86 He of Labor — and He of Capital ... 88 [vi] "TOMMY" RHYMES "TOMMY" RHYMES PROLOGUE iM 'ERE ter be dictyted to, I'm Tommy on the square, I don't know nothink, who I am, nor do I really care ; I only know that on this pyge I orter come ter life, Becos' the feller carvin' me 'as sharpened up 'is knife ; 'E trims me words so careful like, and cuts out all the damns, 'E just won't 'ave me cuss and swear, but squats me on me 'ams, And says ter me: "Now look 'ere, boy, — yer really must be'ave, Fer I 'ave took the liberty of givin' yer a shave. So please tyke notice from this out — yer got ter act yer part By cuttin' out and trimmin' down all cuss words from the start; [1] "TOMMY" RHYMES And then, I'll 'ave yer know, I want the everlastin' you, And not the dirt and camouflage which mykes yer look askew. I want the 'eart and soul of all j^er really think and feel; And if yer'll give that there ter me, — why, just this much, you're real; You'll live and breathe upon the pyge, and every one will 'ear The message that yer wants ter write, and 'ear it very clear. Now aint it worth yer while ter try and do yer wery best — Fergettin' why yer body sleeps, and why yer went out west? You are an 'ero, now, "says 'e," and died fer all of us! — "All right, "says I, "I'll do me best, fer better or fer wuss." So 'ere I am, the 'ole of me, dear lydies and dear gents, And please ferget the w'y I looks, in patches and in rents ; [2] PROLOGUE I earned 'em all, yuss, one by one, all through the blinkin' war — And now I've introdooced meself, I'd better s'y no more, But act the part of all of us, as went the self syme w'y, Ter find the only think worth while, the truth we knows ter-d'y. [ 3 ] 'TOMMY" RHYMES IN FLANDERS jt\ PORE little shiverin waif 'e wos, lorlummy ! 'ow 'aggard and pale, A crawlin' around on 'is 'ands and knees and a travelin' like a snail, But I couldn't 'ave fathomed the look in 'is eyes unless I 'ad gone ter war, They wos wiser by far than an 'undred years, aye, 'undreds, and then some more. 'E wos smeared ter the innerds wif Flarnders mud and covered with pimply sores, 'T wos all on account of the grub as 'e got a festerin' through 'is pores. And 'e clutched to 'is bosom an 'arf dead cat — and the two of 'em looked alike — There wos 'ell in their eyes, as we sloppered erlong, the regiment on the 'ike. It's a curious thing that I never fergit the look in that 'ere kid's eyes. Nor the look in the cat's, fer the matter o' that and yer couldn't 'ave called it wise, And yer couldn't 'ave said 'twas a cowerin' fear, or even a look of fright, [4] IN FLANDERS But a bit of 'em all, wif an extra thing, a kind of a "second sight" — You can s'y wot yer like, you can think as yer please, you can 'old up me words ter scorn — But the kid and the cat saw the end of the world as surely as you wos born ; They wos innercent things in the middle of 'ell, and Gawd wos a speakin' there, A tykin' them out of the jaws of death, to a plyce where there's peace — fer fair. [ 5 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES YER MONEY OR YER LIFE X 'AVEN'T got a lot of brains, not 'arf enough ter see The reason why we went ter war, except, 'tween you and me. We acted rather like a kid who's bullied at 'is school, So wants ter fight, regardless, when 'e's treated like a mule. The bully always 'as the most of everythink 'e craves. Until a bigger bully comes; just as the bigger waves Will swaller up the littler ones when there's a storm at sea. Or bigger fish eat littler fish, or so it seems ter me. If I 'ad got a lot of brains, I'd search around ter find The reason why one thing is first, and why one's left be'ind; I wouldn't be quite satisfied until I got ter know Why we must use a bigger fist ter down the bigger blow. The 'Uns were wrong ter fight at all, but we, I must suppose [ 6 ] ! YER MONEY OR YER LIFE Were really, truly, more than right ter fell 'em with our blows ; And yet, oh 'ell! it's 'ard ter know — the 'Un said: — 'might is right,' And we said: 'No, fer right is might, then started out ter fight. And now the war is over with, the fightin's just begun And 'eving knows, I'm sure I don't, when scrappin' will be done ; We'll firstly 'ave ter figure out the Av'y ter 'old our peace Is chuckin' out our interest, or we shall never cease. Fer money is the bully now, and interest its fists. If I could down it, I should like ter enter in the lists Ter prove a man could live without the money which 'e steals By striking down the poorer man with money in 'is deals. For money is the ghost be'ind the conscience of the man; 'E looks around and finds 'e 'as ter 'ave it if 'e can; [7] "TOMMY" RHYMES 'E finds 'e's glued ter common things without it, to be shore, And so 'e listens ter its voice, and listens more and more. It tells 'im first there's somethin' wrong with 'im who 'asn't got Enough ter buy the 'appiness which ought ter be 'is lot; Then, not content with this, it adds ; 'There aint no blintin' God Exceptin' me, so don't fergit 'tis me who 'olds the rod. I am the pow'r — I rule the world — all men must bow ter me — And I can buy the best of men, and women likewise, see, You knows I'm tellin' yer thei truth — you went through four years 'ell Ter 'elp ter put me on me throne, and did it very well. So now, me boy, you'd better use the little brains you've got [8] YER MONEY OR YER LIFE To serve yourself by servin' me, and get your wit- ties 'ot, For you're alive, and I can buy your 'unger or your bread ; So myke yer choice and do it quick — yer'll be a long time dead. [9] "TOMMY" RHYMES REMINISCENCE A. .N 'Un's an 'UN ! Gorblimy ! Don't fergit ! Yer think yer myde 'im over ! Wy te a bit 'E'll come agyne ! Yer 'aven't licked 'im yet. 'E's 'ardly touched, and that's the worst of it. And 'ere I am, a grocer. Not 'arf, I aint, — I carnt fergit, yer see. I tell yer wot The sight of blood once used ter myke me faint- And now I 'ungers for it, quite a lot. I'm like a beast that's tysted blood, yer know, Just raw fer more. I give me wife a fright And wyke the kids quite offen when I go A shoutin' and a swearin', in the night. Across the bloody wire. It's all a dream — I knows it is ; but tell me, wot's the dif Between a dream that wykes yer up ter scream And wot it wos — the syme old bang and biff.'' I wosn't 'it. I'm 'ere ter tell the tyle. But Gawd ! 'ow many of 'em 'ad ter die ! [10] REMINISCENCE Fer what ! Just nothink ! That's wot mykes me rile. And this 'ere League of Nations, oh my eye ! It fair gives me the 'ump. I'll stow me garf Or I might s'y too much. America ! Oh, wot's the use. You're right, it is to larf, Though I'm not syin' Wilson aint a star. Wot do I think of most since this 'ere war.'' Just this : I'd like ter 'ear the squelchin' noise Beneath me bayonet; — ter see the gore Pump aht and soak the mud; — ter see the boys Come back ter life that's dead and gone, — that's wot; — And arter that ter wipe the bloody 'Uns Clean off the earth fer good and all ; ter pot A few meself, and die among the guns. That's all. I'm just a grocer, bless yer 'eart; Just standin' 'ere and weighin' pounds of tea. This world's a rummy one. I'll play me part, — And die a grocer yet, it seems ter me. [11] "TOMMY" RHYMES THE SPY J I J ON't ever show me lydies ears, leastways, not white and cold, They'd set me creepin' any time, if they wos young or old; I'd 'ave ter start ter thinkin' back across the passin' years Ter see an 'uddled figure and the whiteness of its ears. There aint no bloomin' story much connected with the gell, She wos a woman spy, I knows, indeed I knows too well, Fer I wos detailed on the squad as sent 'er to 'er doom. And I can see 'er standin' 'ere, yuss, right in this 'ere room. This 'ere's the funny part of it, we didn't know 'er sex Until the thing wos over with, or we'd 'ave broke our necks Before we'd shoot a woman down, as 'adn't done no more [12] THE SPY Than love a blinkin' *Un too much, and prove it to the core. She'd myde a pal of all of us, and acted it so smart, We really 'adn't no idea that she just played 'er part; She 'adn't myde a single slip, until, one quiet night We caught 'er at a telephone she'd 'idden out of sight. 'Twas Capting Jones from Camden Town who *eard 'er talkin' 'Un In our communicytion trench, and this is what 'e done, 'E clapped 'is pistol to 'er 'ead, — still thinkin' 'er a boy, — And marched 'er to 'Eadquarters at the muzzle of 'is toy. Well, arter that, of course we knowed the 'ist'ry of 'er end Yet all of us wos 'oping that the capting would un- bend; But no, they soon court-marshalled 'er, and sentenced 'er to die Fer practicin' espionage, when dawn showed in the sky. [13] "TOMMY" RHYMES I never carnt ferget the march that mornin' in the rain With 'er between the lot of us, nor shall I see again A little chin 'eld 'igher in the raw and chilly air, Or see a smile so confident, no matter 'oa,^ or where. She wouldn't 'ave no 'andkerchief nor nothink on 'er eyes, But fyced us all with levelled guns without the least surprise : "Good-bye," says she, as calm as that, "you're not a doin' wrong, "Fer I'm an 'Un and proud of it," she added clear and strong. I think she said those words to us ter myke us shoot ter kill, Becos' she saw us waverin' and lookin' sick and ill Ter see 'er standin' there so sweet — a bonnie, win- some slip. And know that we must cut 'er off, by silencin' 'er lip. The order cyme, and down she went, a riddled through and through. And when the orficer stepped back, why 'ell, we knew, we knew, [14] THE SPY By seein' of 'is 'aggard fyce, it wos a woman there A lyin' in an 'uddled 'eap, all crumpled up fer fair. Not 'arf a sickly crowd, m'ybe, not 'arf, so strike me pink, As marched back to 'Eadquarters, plus the fightin' and the stink; There wosn't one among us who could s'y a blinkin' word, And as fer eatin' breakfast, why, that 'ere wos just absurd. 'Twas in the line of dooty, yuss, of course that 'ere's all right ; We 'ad ter to do it; yuss, no doubt, just as we 'ad ter fight; But I, fer one, would give a lot, if I could quite fergit That 'uddled little figure, and the misery of it. [ 15 ] 'TOMMY" RHYMES ON THE JAMBOUREE II, TER lie in peace and listen, and just gaze — gaze — gaze, At 'er little feet a trippin' while they plays — plays — plays The intoxicytyn' fiddle and the drum — drum — drum, With a tyste or two occasional, of rum — rum — rum. O, the twinkle and the lightness of 'er feet — feet — feet Goes a tricklin' down me eart-strings like a beat — beat — beat ; 'Twill be 'ell termorrer mornink in the trench — trench — trench Down among the blinkin' minnies and stench — stench stench. But terd'y we are livin', and it's love — love — love ; 'Tis the billin' and the cooin' of the dove — dove — dove; Oh 'ell ! we're only tystin' of the sweet — sweet — sweet, And our 'ambones is the anchors to our meat — ^meat — meat. [16] ON THE JAMBOUREE Fer temorrer comes the whistle and the scream — scream — scream, When the memory of rollickin's a dream — dream — dream, We shall all be back and muckin' in the mud — mud — mud. In the splittin', and the crackin', and the thud — thud — thud. Can yer blyme a blinkin' Tommy when 'e's out — out — out. For 'is flirtin', and 'is guzzle, and 'is shout — shout — shout ? Can yer blyme 'im fer forgettin' 'e's a man — man — man? You're a blighter, and yer knows it, if yer can — can — can. [17] "TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY SEARCHES V^H, I dunno? I 'ardly think I knows just wot I think. It sometimes enters inter me that we are on the brink Of somethin' bigger than we knows, which mykes no blinkin' sound, Yet follers 'ard upon our 'eels as we goes round and round. It stands ter reason, don't it now, that wot's beyond our sight Is really there, just as we're 'ere; and wot we see at night, — Those throbbin' balls in empty spyce, — can only point the w'y To others far be^'ond 'em all, and so on, I might s'y. The four years 'ell 'as myde me think quite different of late. It 's myde me see that life at best is nothin' but a gate Ter some queer kind of garding, yuss, like Eden was, yer know, Before Eve found the apple there, and 'ate began ter show. [18] TOMMY SEARCHES Now every kid that's born right now knows nothink of the war, Will read it all as 'Istory, just that and nothink more, But you and me as sawed it all, the four years bleed- in' gyme. Are sure we knows the 'ole of it, but do we, just the syme? We knows the part we took in it, and that is all we knows, And all the rest outside o' that, is 'ears'y, I suppose ; So don't yer think wot's in ourselves, and wot we do, yer see. Is all we're shore of in this life and all eternity? I'd 'ate ter think those pals o' mine who died and left me 'ere 'Ave LOST all sense of 'appiness, who 'ad no sense of fear; Who, countin' nothin', went right on, ter bryvely meet their doom. Must lie there everlastin' in the darkness of the tomb. It don't seem right that this should be, and if not, why, they're 'ere, [19] "TOMMY" RHYMES Not sorrowln', lamentin' like, but bringin' us good cheer ; A tryin' 'ard ter myke us know, that wot we see and 'ear Is just ourselves, and nothink else, and wot we don't, IS FEAR. Wot worried me in this 'ere war, wos not the things I knew. But wot I just expected, see, might soon be orful true, I didn't think of dyin' wunce, and yet I wos afryde Of wot might 'appen to this flesh of which me body's myde. Ter sum it up; I aint afryde no more ter think the dead Comes in and out me room at night when I am in me bed; Fer when I sleeps, I seldom dreams these nights, but lie in peace. And when I wykes I seems ter know new wonders never cease. [20] G ON THE TRYNE ON THE TRYNE OOD mornin' Sir — I'll move me bag, There's lots of room in 'ere — Don't mention it — its quite all right, No, no ! I'd call it queer If I could 'ave the nerve ter think I owned this blinkin' tryne Becos' I've 'anded out the price Ter ride in one agyne. O' course 'twas "transportytion free" When I wos in the war, And lots of other things wos free Fer which I paid before; They didn't charge me nothink when I left me 'ome and wife, Nor did they s'y a word abart The riskin' of me life. This tryne goes f arst ! Perhaps It does ! It don't seem so ter me, Fer I wos in the flyin' gyme Out there in France, yer see ; There never wos a single time When I wos in the air [21] "TOMMY" RHYMES I didn't think wot blinkin' snails The trynes wos, over there; Like caterpillers on the move They crawled from plyce ter plyce, While, up above, I 'ummed erlong Me motor singin' nice, The puff balls from the Archies myde The artificial cloud Ter illustryte me angel wings Of which I wos so proud. And down below me wos the earth Where 'uming beings fought, Where every man that crawled erlong Wos either sold or bought. But I wos free, above the lot, A king in everythink, Above the roar, above the dirt, The trenches and the stink. I'd 'card of cooties, dugouts, filth — But that wos all I knew Of sich like things, fer I wos clean And 'ad a lovely view ; So there I sat, a droppin' bombs On top of 'Eine's 'ead ; [22] ON THE TRYNE (Not out of stinkin^ Zeppelins When children was in bed,) But in the sunshine and the blue, A livin', shinin' mark Fer any gun that might be trained — {Not sneakin' in the dark.) That's why I say that I wos free As any blinkin' bird; For, arter all, in times of peace A gun is there, I've 'eard, Fer every bird that's on the wing That 'uming beings eat ; And there I wos, the self syme thing, Ter serve as 'Eine's meat. Now, in this tryne, we, as it were. Are in the creature's guts That's breathin' steam and dirty smoke, Which covers us with smuts : But, up out there, above the clouds, I didn't 'ave no dirt. So I wos free and close ter Gawd Where death could do no 'urt. And bein' closer than the rest As burrowed in the earth, [23] "TOMMY" RHYMES I 'ad the charnce of findin' out 'Ow little life is worth. You're gettin' aht ? I'm sorry, Sir ! Of course I'll shyke yer 'and; I'm glad yer think the flyin' corps'. The finest in the land: Canydians, Austrylians, Yuss, 'Ighlanders as well, Wos all the syme in that there lot That tysted 'ev'n and 'ell. [ 24 ] SOFTIE SOFTIE A SORTIN' turnips in a field She stood, — and round 'er, — war! 'Er father wos a ne'er-do-well, 'Er mother — well ! — an 'aw, 'Er misty eyes — ('ow blue they wos !) Looked miles and miles away, As though they read and understood The night beyond the day; As though they fathomed why the man Wot goes ter war's a beast — She knew that, later, well enough, Ter s'y the very least. They faced a foe no crueller Than 'er's, — the kind she faced; Wot seal was worse upon 'er fate Than this, which war 'ad traced? Ter see 'er standin' there did this: Stripped bare the nyked fact That man 'as charged a toll on life By each forbidden act. [25] "TOMMY" RHYMES 'Twas ard ter watch 'er workin' there Till, som'ow, you could feel The 'avoc round 'er wos the dream, 'Er thoughts alone wos real. They called 'er "Softie," for, yer know, They didn't think 'er wise ; But I knew different, for I — Saw 'eving through 'er eyes. [ 26 ] RATS RATS I DISREMEMBER, seems ter me Me mjtey's second nyme, E 'ad one, ter be sure 'e 'ad, But there, it's all the syme, t doesn't matter, not a scrap; I alius called 'im Rats, lecos' 'e 'ad an 'orror, like, Of any kind of cats. S wos a most peculiar chap; I sometimes thought, at first, 5 'ad a screw loose somewheres, fer 'E suffered from a thirst s I 'ad never seen before, 'E'd drink all kinds of stuff hat you and me would 'ate ter touch And never get enough. le night we wos in number six, A blarsted list'nin post; ir only light a candle, which Would larst an hour at most, [27] "TOMMY" RHYMES When Rats looked parst me frigid, with A fyce as white as chalk, At somethink right be'ind me, which Wos there, but couldn't talk. I felt me 'air a risin', and A shiver down me back; And wyted, 'orror-stricken, in The darkness, the attack I felt wos comin' towards me, as I saw me mytey's fyce ; 'Is droppin' jaw wos frightful, and 'Is eyes, they wosn't nice; A chokin' fear just gripped me, fer It seemed I 'eard a scream Would turn yer blood ter water, if Yer 'eard it in a dream; And arter this a wailin', like An 'aunted soul in pain. Which froze yer to the marrow, yuss, Till you wos 'arf insane. We both of us stood shakin', no. Just quakin' is the word ; — Wot blinkin' fools the both of us — We must 'ave looked absurd! [28] RATS The reason wos so foolish that I 'ates ter stop and think Wot trifles may cause terror and Can put yer on the blink. Now Rats 'ad been a drinkin' 'ard Of stuff 'e tried tyr myke Of raisins, rice, and sich like things That 'e could steal or tyke : 'E'd stoppered up a shell case, where 'E kept the beastly mess, Which smelled like fifty corpses in A row, I must confess. The noise I 'eard be'ind me wos The stopper workin' loose; The wailin' wos the whistle of The farst escapin' juice; And as fer Rats — the D. T.'s laid 'Im low that wery night. And I 'ad all I wanted of That soul-possessin' fright. [29] 'TOMMY" RHYMES ON 'AMPSTEAD 'EATH T HERE'S a lonely little cross out there one end of Vimy Ridge, A little cross I myde meself, a piece of broken bridge — I carved Bill's nyme upon it, yuss, the wery d'y we went Ter jine the corps of engineers whose ranks wos well nigh spent. There isn't much of Bill out there within the lonely gryve, A shred or two of uniform, and bits I tried ter syve; I aint quite shore as all of it wos Bill, or someone's pa Among these kids on 'Ampstead 'Eath, that's plyin' where we are. I often thinks 'ow strynge it is I seems ter see 'is fyce Now 'ere, now there, among the crowd as wisits this 'ere plyce ; [30] ON 'AMPSTEAD EATH I'm back 'ere now, upon the job, right on me roundabout. The horgin jAys, the 'orses prarnce, the children larf and shout : But some'ow all the spirit's gone from everythink ter me, Fer Bill don't run the engine now, — although 'e's ^ere, yer seel Don't larf ! — I'm tellin' yer the truth I knows 'e comes and goes, Although 'is body went ter bits, — 'is 'ands as well as toes — 'E comes and tells me wot ter do when anythink goes wrong, And 'elps me in a 'undred w'ys each time 'e comes erlong. It's wery wonderful ter me ter 'ear 'im laugh and chat, 'E reely 'asn't chynged a bit; — that's wot I'm gettin' at! They thinks that since the war I'm cracked, a little off the top, Becos' I gets ter talkin' loud at times around the shop; [31] "TOMMY" RHYMES But they carnt 'ear the answers, which is loud enough ter me, Nor understand me when I says it's just "telepathy." There wos a time I didn't know that that there thing exists. Which now, ter me, is just as real as these 'ere grimy fists: I sees and feels me fists, it's true but why? — I alius arsks, Becos' when I am farst asleep they might as well be carsks — Fer all the good they do ter me or all I knows or cares ; Where is me mind when I'm asleep, which now me body shares? It's all too deep fer me, I know, and yet I'm satisfied That Vimy Ridge and 'Ampstead 'Eath ter Bill — are side by side. [32] 'ARF A NOTION 'ARF A NOTION V^H! yer 'aven't 'arf a notion 'ow yer next door neighbor feels, 'E might even be a poet, or a cove wot robs or steals. Or 'e might work on a railway, or the work'us, brykin' stones, But in a trench beside yer 'e's a 'eap of flesh and bones. We were all a lot of cog-wheels, in the varst machine of war And our energy wos needed, for it dwelt within our gore; So they knowed enough ter feed us with the necessary food That would set the wheels a whirrin*, and would keep 'em at it good. 'Twas the chap who functioned 'igher, who 'ad got ter 'ave the faith In a certain subtle somethink, which to us, wos like a wraith, Fer 'e 'ad ter furnish ideas, 'ow ter drive the varst machine, [ 33 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES That would do the work 'e called for — you can tell just wot I mean. Wot's the use of mincin' matters ; wars is cruel, fierce, unjust. And we're there as individuals fer the reason that we must Thrust aside our own conception of the proper w'y ter live, For the privilege of knowin' that our life is ours ter give. [ 34 ] THE LUCKY BLIGHTER THE LUCKY BLIGHTER V_//H ! the blinkin' path of glory Wos so everlastin' gory That it turned a Tommy's stummick as 'e trampled through the mud; It wos 'ard ter overwhelm it While 'is blarsted drippin' 'elmet Kept a soakin' of 'is shoulders till it chilled 'is wery blood: 'E wos comin' to it slowly In a w'y that wosn't 'oly That the blighters in 'eadquarters wos a sittin' round the fire, And 'e couldn't see no reason W'y the 'ell it wosn't treason Fer the lot to tyke it easy just becos' of rankin' 'igher. I'm a doin' of me dooty, Thinks 'e, reachin' fer a cootie Which 'ad some'ow lost it's bearin's, and wos crawlin' down 'is spine; [35] "TOMMY" RHYMES And I'm muckin' in the mire, While they squats around the fire — And I'd like ter know the reason why they 'as it all so fine. All that night 'e kept revolvin' And a spendin' time resolvin' 'Ow 'e wouldn't answer roll call if they gyve 'im arf a charnce; 'E wos sick and tired of servin', So 'e thought 'isself deservin' Of a little better billet than 'e 'ad that night in Frarnce. But 'e chynged 'is mind next mornin' In the front line trench 'e'd gone in, When 'e 'eard the thing that 'appened at 'eadquarters in the night, Fer the bally lot wos blown up In a cloud of debris thrown up When an extra 'eavy coal box came from 'Eine out of sight. Arter this 'e quit 'is grousin' Neither did 'e do no sousin' When at last 'e copped 'is blighty and 'e reached *is 'ome and wife, [36] THE LUCKY BLIGHTER Fer it started 'im ter guessin' And to arterwards confessin' That the only lucky blighter wos the one who syved 'is life. [ 37 ] TOMMY" RHYMES 'OW 'ABAHT THE COOK? J. WOS a regimental cook ; yer see, I aint a cove As knows wot's wot in everythink, and yet I think I've strove As 'ard ter understand the gist of all that 'appens now — (Fer war 'as myde a difference, a big one, you'll allow) — As any bloke who's 'ad the charnce ter know the in- side track Of policies and leagues and things which stytes 'ow white is black. We've licked the 'Un, but not fer long, — the Kaiser is alive And thinkin' too, I 'ave no doubt, 'ow 'e can best contrive Ter put 'isself where 'e belongs, and that is, in 'is mind, A notch ahead of all of us, so we are left be'ind. I'll tell yer this ; 'e aint alone in wantin' ter advarnce, Fer most of us would do the syme, if we 'ad 'arf a charnce. [38] OW 'ABAHT THE COOK? It stands ter reason, don't it now, that 'e 'as lots of time Ter think out w'ys and means a bit, and practice 'ow ter climb From out the pen 'e's in right now, the 'Olland type, I mean, Which gives a chap an 'oliday, a nice bright chynge of scene; Besides the time ter plot and scheme ter get back to Berlin; Rememberin' Napoleon, the fix tliat 'e wos in. I 'ave no doubt there's lots of folks in Rooshia would be glad Ter see old Willym back again with all 'e ever 'ad. And, in addition, wot the Tzar 'ad put aside fer 'im, Before the Bolshi's got it all, and tore it limb from limb. They've got the 'ole thing in their 'ands, both Trotsky and Lenine ; The w'y they growls is ominous, these bears be'ind the scene. There aint no question in me mind, that labor's now on top, Yet, underneath it, boilin' 'ard, another kind of slop [39] "TOMMY" RHYMES Is tryin' 'ard ter lick the scum from off the top, it seems, By boilin' over on the stove — (that's where the fire gleams) — Fer this, they think, will do the trick, and is the only w'y Ter get rid of impurities At least, that's wot they s'y. But all of them fergit the Cook! The one who 'olds the spoon; Who's managin' the 'eat and things, the one who, very soon. Will skim the stuff ter suit 'isself — and turn off all the 'eat, Ter give the best of us a charnce, fer '^'5 a coolcvrC MEAT. I don't care wot yer calls the cook, nor wot yer thinks 'e is, There's one thing sure, and that's enough — 'es really knows 'is biz. 'E stands so 'igh, this Cook of ours, above our silly 'eads That, knowin' that 'is 'ands is there, we still think we're the reds, [40] 'OW 'ABAHT THE COOK? The one pertic'ler brand of blood that's goin' ter syve the age, By boilin' over on the stove a lot of 'ate and rage. That shows 'ow foolish men can be who wants ter 'ave their w'y, They thinks they gets it, but, at last, the cheek's fer them ter p'y. A cook once told an awful truth, and this is 'ow it goes: 'Too many cooks will spoil the broth,' there's only one who knows. And in 'is 'ead the knowledge reigns, that we are nearly done. And so 'e regulytes the 'eat, and stirs us one by one Just round and round with 'is big spoon, a watchin' all the while Ter keep us in the pot, fer 'e, just knows we 'as ter bile. [41] "TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY DURING A THUNDERSTORM V^ W I wonders if I'm wiser, now this 'ere war 's at an end, Fer the fireworks from 'eving seems a puny thing ter send, All this thunderin' and lightnin' aint a marker 'gainst the war Which could rend a bloke ter mincemeat, leavin' nothin', even gore. I wos talkin' ter a sargint, yuss, 'twas out there Wipers w'y, And the larks wos singin' madly, fit ter split their throats, I s'y, When a minnie dropped from 'eving, and it copped the sargint fair, Fer a moment I wos blinded, then — the sargint wasn't there. All the 'ole of 'im wos missin', not a single thing ter show, 'E wos empty as a bubble when it's bursted, don't yer know. And it started me ter thinkin', and a doubtin', on the 'ole. If the man inside 'is carcass is the keeper of 'is soul. [42] TOMMY DURING THUNDERSTORM Now the sargint went out suddint, and 'e 'adn't time ter think 'Fore the bloomin' thing 'ad 'appened, while I'd 'ardly time ter blink ; Yet the 'ole of 'im wos missin' — 'e 'ad wanished, don't yer see ; 'Ow the 'ell 'is soul went with 'im is a mystery ter me. If yer sees a corpse beside yer, why, yer knows the man is dead, Yer can see 'is feet and stummick, and 'is eyes is in 'is 'ead; But this kind of disappearin', leavin' nothin', not a tryce, Is the thing ter set yer guessin' wot is wot in time and spyce. Now I longs fer educytion, like the chaps as knows wot's wot. When it comes ter doin' wonders with the cold and with the 'ot, Fer it seems ter me the sargint is a livin', though 'e's dead. And I 'ears 'im talkin' constant, when I'm lyin' in me bed. [43] "TOMMY" RHYMES 'E wos tellin' me a story just that moment when 'e went 'Bout a little kid of 'is'n that the dear good Lord 'ad sent; I could see 'is eyes a swimmin', when the blinkin' minnie cyme And it busted in 'is middle; — Gawd! — ^just think of dyin' gyme. Fer the fraction of an instant, like that lightnin' wos just now, I could see 'is fyce a glowin', and 'twas lighted up, I vow, With a light of blyzin' splendor that I'll never see agyne. Till in turn my soul goes uppards, leavin' earth and all it's pyne. No, — yer carn't tell me it's wisdom that the hody learns while 'ere, Or the sargint would 'ave knowed it, and would tell me, never fear. When 'is spirit seeks me pillow, and 'is woice sounds in the night Like a flock of shinin' angels, which is there, hut out of sight. [44] THE WORLD'S REORGANIZIN' THE WORLD'S REORGANIZIN' 1\| OW the world's reorganizin', f er it's 'ad its little spree, And it's got its little 'eadache fer its payment, don't yer see ; There's no doubt about the outcome when we does a thing too much. For we're bound ter come a cropper, and be 'untin' fer a crutch. Oh, wot a blinkin' chump 'e is Who tykes a drop too much; Fer 'e's bound ter come a cropper And be 'untin' fer a crutch. So we're leanin' on our crutches now, the riches that we found At the bottom of the muck-'eap, but they won't go all around. And there's lots of wretched beggars with not 'arf enough ter live And a mob of greedy duffers who would rather die than give. [45] "TOMMY" RHYMES Oh, wot a blinkin' chump 'e is Who hasn't learned ter give; Fer 'e's bound ter come a cropper When the beggars learn ter live. For there's somethin' comin', sure as fyte, ter iron out the rags, And ter smooth out all the wrinkles in the empty money-bags, And the world's reorganizin', not alone fer you and me. But for them as died ter syve us, and ter teach democracy. Oh, wot a blinkin' chump 'e is Who won't wyke up and see, Fer 'e's bound ter come a cropper When 'e meets democracy. [46] TRYIN' TER FERGET TRYIN' TER FERGET IV IGHT in the thick of it—lor ! I wos sick of it, Gawd ! 'ow I 'ated the blisterin' war, 'Ated the 'ole of it, clean ter the soul of it. Right in the middle of murderin' more. Loathin' each d'y of it, what can I s'y of it Other than call it a thunderin' shyme, 'Ow we wos 'urled in it, yuss, and wos whirled in it Whether or no we wos 'arf dead or gyme. Am I fergettin' it, all that I met in it, Would I be lyin' ter s'y that I am? Yuss, I am shore of it, fer I thinks more of it Now that it's done and I don't give a damn. What 'as your bayonet, red, got ter s'y on it When you are wipin' its length on some 'ay — 'Ot with the 'ell of it, rank with the smell of it — Other than 'atred and 'orror, I say? 'Ow can I tell of it, 'arf of the 'ell of it? 'Ow can I think when I'm wonderin' yet 'Ow I got out of it, is there a doubt of it, Seein' I'm 'ere tryin' 'ard ter ferget? [47] TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY TO 'IS WIFE X HE 'ouse is silent, Millie dear, the children is in bed, The clock's a tickin' peaceful like, so rest yer weary 'ead Against your 'usband's bosom, dear, and sit upon 'is knee, And let us think this hour, my dear, wos myde fer you and me. Do you remember, Millie dear, afore this blinkin' war, 'Ow I cyme reelin' 'ome one night a shoutin' out fer more; And 'cos yer 'adn't it I swore and struck yer on the fyce? Oh Gawd! me dear, I'll kiss yer now, right on the wery plyce. Yer needn't cry ! Yer 'usband's 'ere a better, better man, Who knows 'e loves yer, Millie dear, and mybe, if 'e can. [48] TOMMY TO IS WIFE 'E'll myke up fer the part 'e played by showin' 'er, 'is wife, The 'Uns 'ad brought 'er 'appiness by sparin' 'im 'is life. The war ain't misery to us, now is it, Millie dear. It brought us back together, love, and took aw'y yer fear. Look in yer 'usband's eyes right now, what do yer see in there.'' Not 'arf a beast, but just a man, the man as myde yer care. Look in the blyzin' coals, my dear, that there's a war yer see, The carbon is a strugglin' ter set the gases free, The fire burns up all the dirt and what is left is clean ; But for them wery ashes, dear, this world 'ad never been. Yer 'usband burned up in the war the dirty part of life, [49] "TOMMY" RHYMES The part as shouldn't He between the 'usband and the wife : Ah ! now you're smilin', Millie dear, the smile I used ter miss ; Let's start our life all over now, and seal it with a kiss. [50] TOMMY'S FALL TOMMY'S FALL A LEFT a missus aht at 'ome, a missus and a kid, You'd s'y she's rare ter look at too, I'll bet yer 'arf a quid; And as fer 'im, — well, I don't know, 'e's just a bit all right ; That's 'ow I knows I lost me 'ead, when I met 'er that night. I took 'er fer a Flarnders gal, she 'ad a twisted smile And ankles wot'd turn yer 'ead and 'old yer quite a P while ; Those wos the keys ter fit me lock, a feller wif the 'ump When 'ome sweet 'ome avos stickin' in 'is gullet like a lump. The trenches wos fergotten as I walked the boulevard A cigarette between me lips, which I wos puffin' 'ard When, lookin' down, I saw 'er feet — (mybe they wosn't trim). And 'igher up two swellin' calves above 'er ankles slim. [51] [ "TOMMY" RHYMES But when I caught 'er eye I choked, — the 'ole of me gyve w'y And 'ome sweet 'ome went fadin' back ter some fer- gotten d'y, She 'ad me 'coked, I trailed erlong, and pretty soon I found The two of us wos steppin' far upon forbidden ground. No need fer me ter tell the truth, you know it, wot's the use ! A liar alius proves 'isself by mykin' an excuse. But 'ere's the queerest thing of all, I fell so 'ard fer 'er. And she fer me, I knew fer sure, that somethin' would occur. That mornin' when I left 'er in the midst of drizzlin' ryne I felt as mean as anythink, and partin' wos a pyne, , And when I joined me regiment, the word 'ad come fer us To 'old the front line trenches, and fer once I didn't 1 cuss. That night upon the firin' step, a watchin' no-man's- land, [52] TOMMY'S FALL I gyve meself a talkin' to, fer plyin' such a 'and Agyne the gyme of decency, a wonderin' the while 'Ow soon I'd get the punishment, and in wot kind of style. I 'adn't long ter wyte ter see ; the 'Un that wery night Thought best ter 'ope the gytes of 'ell, ter strafe us into fright, And pretty soon me blighty came, and copped me in the eye, And then fer extra measure like, just split apart me thigh. They rushed me to emergency, and so on to the base. Where I wos yellin' all the time I'd win the blinkin' race, Fer some'ow I wos dreamin' that I 'ad ter win or bust Against a 'undred demons who wos whackin' me for lust. There aint no use of argument, we pays up fer our I sins. And wunce we've done a dirty thing the punishment begins ; I But this I'll s'y, I don't deny I acted like a cur, What busts me now ter bits is this — the wrong I did to Vr. [58] 'TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY WON'T AGREE r\ CCORDIN' to the lytest chap, we are the 'alt and lame Who sees all things as others see, and merely play the game We should be different, it seems, not natural or sane, Fer that's the worst that we could do if freedom we could gain. We ought ter imityte the bloke who says that green is red, That every man should stay awake when others go ter bed, We orter focus on the light, not 'ang upon a strap To 'elp support us all the while, says 'e, this lyter chap. An everlastin' bug 'e 'as of reachin' up ter 'eights 'E wants to fly, 'e wants ter scream, so aeroplanes or kites Is far too 'eavy for 'is 'ead, and so 'e beats around A followin', just like a moth, the light 'e thinks 'e's found. [54] TOMMY WON'T AGREE 'E 'as, gorblim}' ! So 'ave we ; but we're content ter be Just 'uming beings in the light 'e's lookin' for, yer see. We're 'umble, so we tykes the gifts that Gawd sends down to us. And tykes as we tykes a wife, fer better or for wuss. Now what's the use in these 'ere d'ys of livin' hupside down, A searchin' fer a tragedy ter find a silly clown; Of teachin' kids that black is white, and wice-wersa too ; Of tellin' 'em that packs of lies is all there is that's true; Yer aint a goin' ter better things by jumpin' off the dock. You'll never put a bloke ter sleep by givin' 'im a shock. Unless yer do it with a jolt, intentioned, on the jaw, And then you'd be a fightin' man, just that, and nothing more. I aches fer knowledge, yuss, I do, but not the crazy kind [55] "TOMMY" RHYMES Which seems ter be the fashion now, so isn't 'ard ter find; So what I want ter know is this, ter bring me kids up right, That's stirred into this mucky mess, this feller's shinin' light. [56] THE ARP OF 'EYING THE 'ARP OF 'EVING X HERE'S a time that comes ter all of us when we knows quite a lot, When the 'arp of 'eving wykes us to the knowledge we aint got; Though the 'ole of life seems clearer than we ever saw before, We are swimmin' in deep waters, and we'd better myke fer shore. 'Tis the strongest who is drownded, yuss, just nine times out of ten, Fer the weaker grabs the stronger, and it's all up with 'im then. If 'e carnt avoid 'is clutchin' in this constant stream of air, Which we lives in, as the fishes lives in water everywhere. But 'ow few of us imagines, we, like minnows in a pool. Are a travelin' tergether, like they're doin', in a school ; We are all mixed up together, and the foolish and the wise [57] L "TOMMY" RHYMES Stands the charnce of being netted by a fisher in the skies. When 'E needs us we are goners and we 'as ter s'y good-bye To the breakfast, and the dinner, and the supper when we die ; We are yanked from out the ocean that we lived in, don't yer see, When the gryter power needs us fer 'Is livin', seems ter me. [ 58 ] SISSY THE PINK-UN SISSY THE PINK-UN X NEVER seen a nicer chap ter look at, don't yer know, All pink and white and frilly like, 'e surely was a beau, 'E 'ad a gentle biby voice, 'e 'ad, I do declare, And though 'e used 'igh-soundin' words, 'e 'ad a lot ter spare. M'ybe we didn't mimic 'im, us Tommies, on the sly, We didn't dare ter do it when the officers wos by ; 'E took it so good-natured like, just smilin' in a w'y, That myde us itch ter 'andle 'im quite roughly, you might s'y. 'E wos so blinkin' gentle that 'e myde yer grit yer teeth Ter stop from carvin' 'im alive ter see wot lay be- neath ; From Aldershot ter Salisbury Plain, from Salisbury Plain ter Frarnce 'Is sissy voice just 'aunted us, and fairly myde us prarnce. 'E'd mucked 'is w'y up through the ranks to non. com., it is true, [59] I "TOMMY" RHYMES And though we 'ated all 'is w'ys, we liked 'im, through and through ; No matter wot we did, or 'ow, 'e never showed no bile, And lookin' back, it seems ter me, 'twas that that myde us rile. Ter see the w'y 'e 'andled things, in slow and gryceful curves, And be so everlastin' nice, why, gryted on yer nerves ; We called 'im Sissy just at first, till Pink-un cyme erlong ; And though these nymes did seem to 'urt, we didn't mean no wrong. Ter'd'y I'd give these 'ands of mine, ter know 'e wosn't dead, Ter 'ear 'is voice come down the wind, and see 'is curly 'ead; I 'ates ter think 'e doesn't know 'ow much I think of 'im. Or 'ow I'd die ter syve 'is life and do it with a vim. It's all too late, fer now 'e's dead, and we are left be'ind Ter know 'ow blinkin' mean we wos ; 'ow none of us could find The 'ero that wos there ter show, before 'e showed us all The finest w'y a chap could die, and like a soldier fall. [60] SISSY THE PINK-UN It 'appened on a Friday night. We'd 'ad a quiet d'y, Just now and then a little noise when someone blyzed away, So, on the 'ole, we wos surprised, when suddenly the cry Went up the line the 'Uns wos loose ,and men began ter die. 'Twas 'ell ter p'y that night, indeed, it seemed we'd 'ave ter run, Fer soon we found the 'Uns in strength, wos more than ten ter one. But not so Pink-un, 'e withstood as calm as anythink With 'Uns ter left and right of 'im, and did'nt even blink When one great 'ulkin' Boche set out ter stamp upon 'is fyce, 'E girnned, and drove 'is bayonet clean to the 'ilt so nice That with a grunt, the beggar fell, but pinned 'im ter the ground As other 'Uns wos closin' in, attracted by the sound, 'E killed 'em all, yuss, one by one, with only one arm free, [61] "TOMMY" RHYMES But 'ow 'e managed it is yet a mystery ter me — And still they came, as thick as bees, and down went Leary first. And Pink-un saw it, dropped 'is gun, (not thinkin' if 'e durst) But leaped right in and with 'is fists laid one more of 'em out. Not mindin' us, or wot we saw, or 'ow we tried ter shout Ter warn 'im that 'e stood no charnce unless 'e quit and run, Fer 'e 'ad nothink but 'is 'ands ter fight with, — 'e wos done. 'E 'ad no ears fer anythink but savin' Leary's life, Fer 'e wos just a single man, and Leary 'ad a wife. Afore 'e went 'is larst words wos: "Did Leary get aw'y?" And when we told 'im yuss, 'e smiled; 'e 'ad no more ter s'y. We buried 'im particular, beside a clump of trees, Becos' we knew 'e loved the woods, the quiet, and the breeze ; [62] SISSY THE PINK-UN And when the chaplain read the part which says "and earth to earth" We knew wot blinkin' fools we wos, and 'ow much 'e wos worth. [ 63 ] "TT' -I m,-^^^ 'TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY OF THE SUB I F yer carried a 'od, Like a regular clod On the top of a dump in the scene. Now you're under the sod Your're a little tin god And the poppies above yer are clean; For yer did all and more In this glorious war And are one of it's 'eroes, I mean, For, of course, to be sure, there's an absence of gore In the guts of a tin submarine. If yer served on a sub You wos counted a dub With a gizzard as big as a pea ; And yer 'eard in your club As yer did in the pub You wos 'arf like an 'Un, don't yer see ; Fer the things that yer did And the w'y that yer 'id Sounded much like a cold-blooded gyme ; Yet from captain ter kid, when yer clapped down the lid You were 'arf of a corpse just the syme. [64] TOMMY OF THE SUB Oh, its all very well, But yer life wos like 'ell When you lay in the ooze and the mud, In the 'eat and the smell Of the stinkin' old shell And the grind and the noise and the thud ; You were much like a bloke Who's afraid of a stroke When he's 'itched ter 'is bed 'ard and f arst ; And yer called it a joke, this expectin' ter choke In a blinkin' tin fish at the larst. And if somethin' went wrong. Why you 'ad ter be strong Though yer 'eart pounded 'ard in yer ears. Like some 'ellish old gong. Though it wosn't fer long. It wos ages ter you, it appears; Fer there aint one who'd strive Ter be buried alive If 'e knew 'e 'ad choice of 'is death; But 'd far rather dive, as a bee ter 'is 'ive O'er the top ter be losin' 'is breath. If by charnce you 'ave been In a tin submarine, [ 65 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES Which wos rusty and leaky as 'ell; 'Tis the devil you've seen, You will know what I mean, If yer says it and means it as well ; Fer you 'arf dies of fright In the blackness of night When a bomb stands the thing on its 'ead; If yer dreams it, — all right, you will 'owl with delight When yer finds you are 'ome in yer bed. [ 66 ] TOMMY WONDERS TOMMY WONDERS 1 HERE'S a bit of good old Adam stirrin' in the best of men ; There's a bit of Eve remainin' in the blarsted feminine; And the generytions yet ter come in turn will tryce in us, The reason why they frets and fails and why their women fuss. I went ter war, I did me best, P and now I'm 'ome again Expectin' things ter be the syme, and yet — or I'm insane — I catch a look in Amy's eyes, P yuss. Amy is me wife, — That mykes me squirm, and digs down deep, and cuts me like a knife. And I, in turn, sees in 'er eyes a look, occasional. That sets me stummick quiverin' ; fer when I met the gal [ 67 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES I 'ad in Frarnce, so strike me pink, the self syme look I saw, As when me wife meets 'Arry now, and sees 'im to the door. Fer 'Arry was at 'ome while I was over there in Frarnce, And now and then took Amy out ter 'ave a little darnce; Of course there wosn't nothin' wrong in that, 'ow could there be ? And yet, gorblimy, if there was, I'd lick 'im, don't yer see. That there's the Adam in me 'ead, that there's the Eve in 'er ; I knows inside that I went wrong, that somethin' did occur; And she, per'aps, is thinkin' too, she dassent s'y a word, Because she thinks I smells a rat about wot 'as occurred. So there we are, the two of us, a sparrin' fer a charnce [68] TOMMY WONDERS Ter catch the other in a lie, or in a crooked glarnce ; The both of us is fit ter bust wif jealousy, no doubt; And yet the neither of us knows just wot it's all about. [69] TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY BLINDED I DIDN'T mean ter bump yer, Sir, yer see, I 'as ter grope. I'm sorry. Sir, — why thank'ee Sir, why, no, — I'd only mope If I sat by the fire at 'ome, and couldn't see the gryte — Yer see, — I 'aven't quite got used ter this 'ere kind of fyte. I alius loved ter look at things, and now I've got ter feel. And everythink I touch seems strynge- as though it wosn't real ; I carn't explain just 'ow I feel, it isn't like a joke Ter live in blackness like a pall until yer think you'll choke. Yer tries ter see, that's it, yer tries — and nothin' penetrates The thick black fog before yer eyes, and though yer waits, and waits, [70] TOMMY BLINDED No light can reach yer through the mist, and then yer want ter scream ; Just like yer does when wykin' up from some fierce, 'orrid dream. But worst of all, yer realize it aint a dream at all, And then the perspiration starts and beads begin ter fall ; Yer feel them 'ot upon yer 'ands, and wants ter shriek aloud, And wrestle with the octopus that 'olds yer in a cloud. All that's at first; for, presently, another kind of light Begins to glimmer in yer mind; — of course it isn't sight, — There aint no nyme fer wot it is, yet everythink yer touch Is lighted inwards, so ter speak, and so yer cease ter clutch, — But gently lay yer 'and on things, and see them in the dark ; Just like a man who 'ears its song can see a little lark. [ Tl ] "TOMMY" RHYMES I'm not so sure I 'ungers for the sight I've lost at all, Fer now I'm blinded all the folks tyke care lest I should fall; I found a lot of love in those I used ter 'ate before, And more than this, — I've found that love is right down in the core Of every man I meets ter-d'y, and every woman too ; Now when I 'ad me sight, yer see, just that I never knew. So why should I be sorry that I've lost the use of eyes. If, in me 'eart, I knows I've found another kind of prize ; The knowledge that I've lost, at last, the enemies I 'ad. By findin' out that all the lot are glad ter myke me glad. [ 72 ] THE WOMAN HATER THE WOMAN HATER i.\| doubt I'm free ter talk about the things I saw and 'eard All through the war, no doubt I am, and yet it seems absurd, — I know it does, yet, 'onor bright, I 'aven't got the 'eart . Ter give away the 'ole of it, but just one tiny part. The 'ole thing wos so 'ideous, so full of muck and slime. It isn't fit ter put in words, much less ter put in rhyme ; And yet there wos one spot, I think, that orter come ter light. And that is 'ow the women seemed ter down a lot of fright. I've seen a woman, in this war, do things ter myke yer quail. And do them with a steady 'and, not even turnin' pale When Tommy 'owled beneath the knife the surgeon 'ad ter use Without an anaesthetic or a little drop of booze. [73] "TOMMY" RHYMES The 'Uns 'ad lifted all the lot, and 'adn't left a thing Except a lot of dirty cloths which we must wash and wring Before we dared ter bind the wounds that cyme erlong so farst It looked as though we never could attend to them at larst. But 'ere the women dipped in quick, and took us all in charge, 'Twas Tommy 'ere, and Tommy there ; "Who left yer out at large? "There's work ter do ; why, man alive, 'op round and do yer bit !" And them a larfin' and the while, and smgin', think of it. I wonder wot there is inside a woman's 'eart and soul ; At 'ome they're nice, oh, I don't think ! at least, not on the 'ole ; They seems so selfish there ter me, ualess I'm in the wrong — Fer in the war they went beyond us men in bein' strong. I wos a woman-'ater wunce, but ever since the war, [ 74 ] THE WOMAN HATER Although I'm lookln' sideways yet, I'm really not so shore — Yet even though they did the things I've spoke of, and about, The very moment they gets 'ome they starts ter jaw yer out. [ 75 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES TOMMY THINKS IT OUT I 'M just an ordinary cuss, wot's got a tyste fer h'art And moosic and the likes of sich, and though I did me part All through the war ter down the 'Uns — I think that war is 'ell ; I saw some things, while over there, I wouldn't care ter tell. It got me thinkin', did the war, with death so blinkin' close Just all the while, that now I 'opes it aint myde me ^^morose." That wos the Capting's word, 'Morose,' which 'e said, kills a chap, And blymed near kills a company, if kept too long on tap. I didn't know just wot it meant, that narsty soundin' word. And so I arsked the Capting once, and this is wot I 'eard — As 'is blue eyes looked down at me, as blue as any steel — [ 76 ] TOMMY THINKS IT OUT "Me boy," 'e says, "it don't mean you. It isn't wot you feel. "It's wot the blighter 'as in 'im, wot's alius got the 'ump, "And 'ands out ter the rank and file a most f orbiddin' lump "Of stuff that ryses all their bile, and sets 'em gainst the law, "The only thing that kills morale is that 'ere line of jaw." But 'ere I 'ad ter interrup'; "Wot's that" says I, — 'morale' ? "Wot 'oly Moses sort of word is that", I says ter Carl. That wos the Capting's nyme, yer see, 'is father wos a 'Un, Which goes ter show 'ow strynge is war, when all is said and done. "Morale, says 'e, "is just like this: yer see the 'Uns out there "They've got it in their bones and blood — oh no, yer needn't stare, [77] "TOMMY" RHYMES "I mean it. When they're little chaps, they gets it like a dose "Of medicine each d'y, and so they 'ugs it close. "It means the Kaiser's allies first, then Fatherland, and then "The rest that's left, a mere machine, no matter 'ow or when, "When once 'is country calls out loud ter syve the Kaiser's life *'Just stiffens up and drops 'isself, 'is money, and 'is wife; " 'E's got ter do it, don't yer see, 'e 'as no other choice, "So loses all 'is self control, and even drops 'is voice. "Fergettin' everythink but this, 'is natural morale." "Good Lord," says I, "that's wot it is. Fergettin' 'ow ter snarl." You've got it, snapped the Captaing's eyes, as plain as plain could be, 'E didn't s'y another word, I understood, yer see ; And as I wos 'is Sargint then, I dropped a word or two To every man who wos 'morose,' which turaed 'is *me' ter *you.' [ 78 ] TOMMY THINKS IT OUT That 'ere's the 'ole of it, I think. A soldier is all right When once 'e sees it isn't 'ira that's got ter up and fight. 'E does it then fer others first, and thus 'e finds at larst 'E's wysted all 'is life before, and so fergets the parst. [ 79 ] TOMMY" RHYMES MUD N OW we all knows little blighters likes ter tell a pack o' lies, And its just imaginytion, which if anythink's a prize; And we all knows 'ow we mucked abart a playin' in the dirt And the two things went tergether, Lord! it didn't do no 'urt. It wos mud — mud — mud, Which wos born into our blood, We wos raised and fed upon it. And our lives we're spendin' on it. Why? O' course. Now we all know edicytion is supposed ter mean a lot. That the more we knows of everythink the 'igher up we've got; But I notice 'ow the knowin' ones is muckin' more than us, And is diggin' in the muck-'eap where it stinks a little wuss ! [ 80 ] MUD For it's mud — mud — mud, Which wos stirred into their blood, And their nurses kept 'im from it, So they wants ter gorge upon it. Why? O' course. Now we both fell in the Flarnders mud and landed side by side; Per'aps it wos the Flarnders mud which myde us both decide That wos the lesson we required ter teach us 'ow ter stick Against all odds ter lick the 'Un without a gettin' sick. It wos mud — mud' — mud, All around us like a flood. Every think wos jumble in it, Did we 'ave ter tumble in it? Why — o' course ! It wos wonderful ter watch the w'y we got erlong out there. For it brought us both ter realize we 'ad ter do our share [ 81 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES In the cleanin' of the dung-'eap that our civilyshun built, By the plycin' of the punishment right on the top of guilt. In the mud — mud — mud We both spilled our brains and blood, Till the 'Uns wos choked within it When America fell in it. Why? O' course. [82] THE HARVEST THE HARVEST 1 'AVEN'T lived too long, I know, but war *as myde me sure I am alive, and that's a lot, indeed it is a cure Fer all the foolish things in life — the things ter throw away; Fer though I knows I'm 'ere just now, I 'aven't long ter stay. A few more d'ys of 'appiness, not muckin' in a mess ; A few more charnces, as it were, of bringing 'appiness Instead of 'atred and its kind — ter get the biggest bite From off me neighbor's property — and do it out of sight ; I'm livin' now ter do me best — to be quite satisfied With 'arf a loaf, instead of all; — ter drop the silly pride That mykes a chap wyke up too late ter find 'e wos a fool Ter think the gifts 'e 'ad wos 'is : 'e does so, as a rule. [83] "TOMMY" RHYMES That is the foolishst idea, just think a moment — gift. Whoever gyve one to 'isself, would know the w'y ten drift Quite careless like erlong the stream ter finish at the bar; Tis there yer find the wrecks of men who knows just wot they are. The only things we 'ave in life are those we gets oni trust; We orter use them well, indeed, not only ought to — must — Fer if we don't, no matter 'ow we really seems ter gain. We're buildin' up, as sure as fate, a future store of pain. It isn't money mykes the man, it's wot 'e 'asn't got 'E's lookin' arter all the time, now aint it truly — wot.'' You never 'unt fer things ye r'ave, now do you, on the square.'' Unless you think you've lost 'em, or they ain't no longer there. [84] THE HARVEST Then, in a trice, yer stop and think — where can that thing 'ave got ! I know I put it down right 'ere — and now it's gone ter pot ; I wonder who 'as tyken it — some thief 'as been around ! And this you're thinkin' all the time until the object's found. It's givin' counts ! You 'ave a gift ! It's yours ter give away, You cannot 'old it fer yourself, not even fer a day; Fer if yer do — the reason's plain — it never grows a bit. But starts ter shrinkin' right away ; — that 'ere's the 'ole of it. Fer gifts is kin ter seeds, yer know, you plant 'em in the soil, And if you're wise yer chooses well, and aint afraid of toil ; And pretty soon yer see results — the crop begins ter grow. And then comes 'arvest time, and then: — oh well, the rest you know. [85] TOMMY" RHYMES 'TIS THEY WHO WENT X IS they who went who myde fer you the plyce yer 'ave terd'y, Who, by their orful sacrifice, 'ave pointed out the w'y Ter start ter myke yer peace on earth, with good- will toward all men; 'Ave you fergotten who it wos said that, and 'ow, — and when? Per'aps you'd like ter drown in tears, becos' yer can ferget So easily the only thing which conquers men as yet — The truth — the blyzin' truth — the light that dwells above — below, — And right within the 'eart of 'earts of all yer think yer know. Can you ferget, when fyce ter fyce with them as fell and died. They fell as men, ter rise as stars, which cannot be' denied? Can you ferget them, live erlong, with just yerself ini mind; [86] 'TIS THEY WHO WENT Or with the idea that you count becos' you're left be'ind? ARISE— AWAKE! Yer hour comes! They 'ave not died in vain Who gyve their lives fer other lives, — in suiferin' and pain! The worm 'as turned, fer Gawd is just; — ARISE — AWAKE !— I cry, The sword is 'angin' by a thread that does not fall ter-d'y. ARISE— AWAKE! Face TRUTH in time, and watch time's finger trace The 'istory that's bound ter come as race devours race; We all are one, and one is all ; each mucker 'as a soul ; ARISE— AWAKE ! fer 'e shall live, who first accepts the 'ole. [ 87 ] "TOMMY" RHYMES HE, OF LABOR— AND HE, OF CAPITAL Comrades In A Trench He, of Labor I never 'ad no scliooHn'. Now-a-dyes A kid 'as 'arf a charnce. 'E often plyes Wif other kids that's better than 'isself. You know wot I mean ! The coves wif wealf Who s'y : "I'll tyke it" when they're in a shop Wifout so much as blinkin' till they stop. I never 'ad no wealf — He, of Capital But stop and think Old top ! You have the best of it. We blink When you are sleepin — fearing that the day May bring disaster. Handing out the pay As we must willy-nilly, every week We sit and scan our books, with paling cheek Forgetting everything but you, your need; While we are charged with avarice and greed. He, of Labor 'Old on ! That aint the w'y I looks at it. You 'ave a lot of money. Well. We 'ooks at it [88] i HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL And gits a trifle fer our work — that's all. You 'ave a lot, and put it out ter myke A profit on the little that we tyke. Fer we carn't s'y as two and two mykes five. We've got ter spend our all ter keep alive. He, of Capital Perhaps you're right in one sense, in a way, For values should not change from day to day. And yet they do for both of us the same. If you demand and I supply — the game Is played the other way, for you supply Me with the coin to pay you with, and I Take for my profit — He, of Labor All ! That's wot I said : You tyke it all. We 'ave no profit. Just a bed Ter sleep on, Missis, and a lot of kids Ter feed and eddicate. He, of Capital, But who forbids That you employ men as I do? Just think A moment. Have you less to eat and drink Because you labor for it with your sweat? [89] "TOMMY" RHYMES To pay you what I owe, I have to get As many times as much, aye, every week, As men in my employ. Am I a sneak, A thief, because I make enough to fill Your stomachs and my own. I pay the bill. He, of Labor Ter 'ell yer do. You owns the wery shop We trydes in, 'cause we 'ave ter. Pay the top Fer everythink we get, because we must. While you fill up yer pockets till they bust. He, of Capital It seems to me your grievance is not just. You say you trade with us because you must. That is not so. You trade the cheapest way. As all men do, who, honest, wish to pay For all they get — not choosing to pay more Than Is demanded in the common store. And as to profits, you are far from right. We make no more — He, of Labor Gorblimy ! Wot a fright ! Yer myke no more ! Yer myke it all ! We lose All that we 'ave. A fat lot we can choose. [90] I HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL We 'ave our wyges. That is all we get And work like slyves. I carn't see that you sweat When you're at 'ome. You 'ave ter do it 'ere The syme as me. I wish we 'ad some beer ! Don't you? See 'ow it drizzles. Ain't it queer Ter think as you and me, wif 'Uns so near Should be a Talkin' bout the d'ys of peace.'* He, of Capital, [^raising himself and peering cauti- ously into the mist over No Man's Land, while drops of moisture fall with clock-like precision from his dripping helm£t'\ Don't talk of peace ! This war will never cease Until we've licked the Hun for good and al'. Come here a moment ! Don't forget you're tall And let them pot you. What d'you make of that — Right over there? He, of Laboe Where? Oh, there! That's the fat Old Boche we got a week ago. I swear 'E stinks as rotten as a mule. [91] 'TOMMY" RHYMES He, of Capital Forbear ! You make me ill. It's bad enough to know The thing is there without your talking so. Shh ! Keep quiet ! \^He takes careful aim and fires, as his companion hastily grabs his rifle and joins him on the firing-step^ They're on us ! I was sure that something moved — He, of Labor [^firing^ Yer ain't said nothink truer! They're thick as bees. They'll 'ave us in a trice. I bagged another. Ah, that's wery nice ! Yer would surprise us, would yer? Tyke it now Right in yer guts, yer b y sow! He, or Capital Good Lord ! — we're cut off from the rest. Look out, It's death for us. What's best to do.? Don't shout. You're wasting breath. What's best to do — and quick .'' He, of Labor What's best to do! Good Lord! You myke me sick. [92] HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL Ter down the 'Uns ! What's best ter do ! Ter send A few more 'ome, and stick it ter the end. Down that there one, 'e's comin' straight — [They both continue firing, as the din of musketry increases on every side^ 'Urrah! They've broke. There goes the whistle. 'Ere we are Come on, old pal — [^At this moment a shell bursts near, wounding both seriously, one in the head and arm, the other in the leg and thigh^ He, of Capital They've got me. Are you hurt.? He, of Labor Yuss — in me leg. It's covered up wif dirt. He, of Capital Just wait. I'll help you when I fix my arm. It's nothing much, I guess. A scratch — no harm. He, of Labor [ Watching with dilating eyes, as he sees the bone of [93] "TOMMY" RHYMES his comrade's arm sticking through the sleere'\ Yer call that nothin' much. My Gawd — my Gawd! Yer got yer blighty now, fer fair. — Oh Lord! You'll 'ave to 'elp me, I carn't ryse me leg — It feels just like a bloomin' wooden peg. I'd 'elp if I could use me pins ter stand. Ugh ! Don't that 'urt yer, when yer touch that 'and.? Gawd! Wot a mess. I'm wuss orf than I thought — Me leg's a jelly. My larst battle's fought. I'm gettin' f'ynt. Where are yer, pal,'* — He, of Capital I'm here. But getting faint myself. Our end is near. * * * Night fell athwart the pair within the trench. While both were senseless, dawn arose. The stench Of rotting corpses failed for once to rouse The two who sprawled, like drunkards from carouse. Inert and limp. Noon passed. Then afternoon. And evening brought to light a sickly moon Before one stirred and broke to feeble groans, Accented by the other's feebler moans [94] HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL For water — mother — wife — and all the rest That, at the worst, still prove the last and best. Despite their wounds, they suffered hunger, thirst, And so, recalled to life, they thought at first. More of a keen desire to drink and feed, (Forgetting for the moment, surgeon's need.) One had his iron ration still intact, And in their dug-out cigarettes were packed; But both were now so weak from loss of blood, A yard or two apart in sticky mud. That neither felt the strength to move an inch — An inch of movement meant an ell of flinch For two so badly wounded. Through the night They spoke in wonder of their awful plight. And pledged 'tween man and man the soul of man. Alone with God and neath His starry span. At break of dawn, they realized their trench Lay now in No Man's Land, between the French And British, and the Huns. It meant they'd starve. Unless one side attacked again, or die In misery of wounds. They could not try To reach their lines themselves in any case, (For now of courage, both had lost a trace,) Unless they crawled, with injured limbs entwined Across the gap twixt them and humankind. The hours passed — and slowly strength returned And then they spoke, as both with thirst were burned : [95] "TOMMY" RHYMES He, of Capital It's — rotten — isn't it ! How far away You are ! — It's funny, — isn't it ! — I say. You know, — you mustn't — He, of Labor — 'Ow I want ter die. Gawd — Gawd! I've licked the mud until it's dry! For Gawd's sake, water — He, of Capital All right, pal o' mine. I'll get it — somehow. Cheero ! Don't — don't whine — You mustn't — He, of Labor Do yer think it's goin' to — rine.'' Oh — I carn't stand it. Oh — this awful pyne! He, of Capital I'll — get — it! Somehow. Wait — a — bit. Let's see; I'll try — it. Oh — good Lord! I can't. Just three [96] HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL Yards — more. Ah ! Wait — a — bit. For God's sake wait. He, of Labor Go on — old pal — and leave me to my fate. He, of Capital Hah ! Got — it ! Wait a bit. Just — wait — a —bit. And very — soon — Oh God ! — be — drink — ing — it. Don't struggle — ^boy — I'm coming — He, of Labor Oh, — my Gawd! He, of Capital [frenzied^ No — I — lay me — down to — sleep. Oh Lord! Our Father, — who — art in — Heaven — Wait a bit- Hallowed — be — thy — name. Christ ! I'm — bringing it ! Thy — kingdom come. Hold on a minute — please, Hold on. Thy — will — be — done — God! Oh, my knees. Are weak. Hold on — Oh God ! hold on — hold on. [97] "TOMMY" RHYMES He, of Labor \^almost unconscious^ Mamma Mamma ! He, of Capital \liolding the canteen to his comrade's lips, who swallows greedily, his eyes bidging'\ There — there, old pal, at — last. He, of Labor [^reviving with the water^ Yes, mother! This is 'im. Oh Mamma! 'Old me f arst I He, of Capital [fai7its. A minute or two passes^ Ah! He, of Labor [^pulli/ng at his companion's body, which has fallen^ Hi — hi — pal ! Ye're lyin' in the mud — Tyke out yer fyce — You'll choke ! Look ! That's 'is blood! Tyke out yer fjj^ce — I s'y. [He shakes his paVs body, and with a superhuman effort, man- ages to turn him over on his sideJi Where's that canteen? It wos right 'ere. I sore it. Lor! 'Ow mean! Oh, 'ere it is ! It's empty ! Not a drop ! I must 'ave drunk it all. Wyke up — ol' top! [98] HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL Good Gawd ! Oh beast — beast — beast I wos ter drink It all ! 'E's comin' out of it, I think, 'Is eyes is flutterin'. Don't let 'im die. Oh Gawd ! 'E is my my te ! I got ter cry ! Don't let 'im go ! He, of Capital Good bye, old pal ! Good bye. I'm going. Look ! Alice ! There she is. I — I'm coming, Alice. Wait, oh wait ! Don't go ! He, of Labor [jriglitened at deathly Good Gawd! Oh, bloody 'ell. Good Gawd! Oh— Oh! He, of Capital Not — bloody — ^hell. It's easy, — dying. Look! See ! There he sits. Still writing in a book. He's counting out your time. You have to live. I'm sorry, pal o' mine. What would I give To take you with me — He, of Labor Don't go, pal ! Not yet. And leave me all alone ! [ 99 ] HE, OF LABOR— HE, OF CAPITAL He, of Capital I'll not forget Find me my little book, and — ^let — me — ^write — Before my strength is gone. No more we'll fight Together — you and I. [He, of Labor takes a small note-hook from his com- panion's tunic, and supports him while he writes, frequently pausing for breath, until he feebly signs his name at the end of a page^ Keep it with care. [^Jie gives him the book^ And guard it well. It gives to you a share Of Capital. More than you ever had To spend. — 'Twill spoil you, I'm afraid. Too bad! But then, you'll need an artificial leg And cannot labor, — so — you'd have — to — beg. I'm — sleepy. Let — me — down. Go — easy, pal! He, of Labor [breaking into tears and rending sobs'\ Oh— Oh! O bloody— 'ell. 'E'sgone! No gal Loved me like 'im! Wot's that.'' Wot's that I 'ear.'' [100] LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 015 907 101 J_Jf_