+M<$ -oV* *^~ l0v\ '<*CV ^°^ ^ -ate- *w #&•• St- * o s » 47 A LIMB O' THE LAW % Comrtig in Efoo Sets By m. r: ORNE AUTHOR OF u THE COUNTRY SCHOOL," " A BLACK DIAMOND," ETC. 4/tfZ * ^ BOSTON 1892 CHARACTERS. AUGUSTUS DE BENHAM ...... The " Limb o> the Law" MR. DE BENHAM The Parental Trunk CLEM BANCROFT A Stray Twig MR. GRAYHAM Who Trusts to the Limb KIT . . . . . . . . An Autumn Leaf JAMES . . . . . . . . '. A Green Leaf ALICE DE BENHAM A Flower JULIA GRAYHAM Another MRS. GRAYHAM A Third — a Little Faded "THE LADY IN BLACK" COSTUMES. Mr. De B. — Gray travelling-suit. Augustus. — Stylish modern costume. Mk. G. — Act I. — Modern costume. Act II. — Dressing-gown, gray wig. Mrs. G. — An elderly lady, richly dressed; cap and spectacles. Julia. — Young lady's modern dress. Alice.— Act /. — Travelling-costume, bag strapped across shoulders, etc. Act II. - Fashionably dressed. Clem . — Very fashionable. James. — Blue coat with brass buttons, top boots, etc. Kit. — Woolly wig, linen duster, large bright tie. Copyright, 189a, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 1M¥^ A LIMB O* THE LAW, ACT I. Scene. — Elegantly furnished lawyer's office of Augustus De Benham. Desk littered with writing-materials, etc. Small office opening from centre back. Augustus {walking floor with hands in his pockets). What in time is a fellow going to do in this world with no money in his pocket, I'd like to know? and how's he going to get along? Talk about marrying — I can't support myself, much less a wife. Yes, I've got plenty of clients, I know; but, confound it all, I can't make both ends meet ! No matter how much money I earn, my expense column is always the longest. I wish I'd never seen Miss Grayham ! No, I don't either! I wish — well, of course, if I can get her, the old gentleman will settle something handsome on her— but no, Gus, old fellow, you mustn't think of that. By Jove ! I wish some rich old uncle would turn up, or that some old-maid aunt would die and fill my pockets for me. Well, let me see, I ought to hear from that advertisement to-day. " Nothing venture, nothing have," — a rather desperate venture on my part, but the deed is done, and it's too late to retract now, come what may. I feel desperate enough for anything. {Calls.) Kit! {Enter Kit.) Kit {ducking his head). Yes, s'ah, Ps de pusson dat bears dat synonym. Gus. You black rascal ! It would be hard to find a synonym for you. Take my hat and coat from the chair there and hang them up; the coat will need brushing first ; then take care of the office, and don't cut up any of your shines. I'm going into the little room, where I don't want to be disturbed. I have some writing to do and don't wish to see any one — do you understand ? Kit. Yes, sah ! I isn't hard ob hearin' yet. (Gus turns to leave.) Say, Massa Bedlum, Ps got a conundrum fer you dis mawnin ! Where was potatoes fus found? Gus. That's no conundrum ; that's a question. They were first found in Peru, South America. Kit. No, sah. Guess again. 4 A LIMB O THE LAW, Gus. Have you been reading up about this, you rascal? It was either Chili or Peru. I'm very sure it was Peru. Kit. No, sah. Dey's found in de ground ! Yah ! yah ! yah ! {Turning somersault.) {Exit Gus hurriedly. Kit tries on Gus's coat, hat, gloves, etc. Finds candy in pocket, which he eats.) Kit. Specs I's Massa Bedlum now, for sho. Dis yer coat an' hat fit me zackly. Golly, heah's a letter ! Wonder ef I kin read it. I nebber hed a lub-letter, an 1 I 'd like ter know how it feels ter read one. {Glances about suspiciously, then listens at door of small office) Dat's all right. {Reads.) My dear Sally — {Looks surprised.) Dat's a new one, dat is. Dat's de name ob my gal ! {Jumps up.) Ef that villain in dar {shaking his fist) has been writin' a lub-letter ter my Sal, I'll — I'll hab de law on him! {Examines it again.) Dar, now, all dat steam up fur nuffin. It's "My — dear — Sam." No — no 'tain't. It's " My dear Son." Dat's it prezackly. Dere's no lub 'bout dis yer, bet yer life ! {Reads.) " I will pay you your next quarter in advance. You — must — make — this — do. Your — extravagance — is — a — great — source — of — annoyance — to — me, — and — in — spite — of — the — liberal — allowance which I give you — you" — Hark! what's dat? {Hastily puts letter in pocket and takes off hat, coat, etc.) {Enter Clem.) Clem. Well, Kit, what are you doing here? You look guilty. What pranks have you been up to, eh ? Kit. Golly, Massa Clem. I t'ought you's de debbil fur sartin. {Hurriedly arranging furniture, etc.) I's taking care ob de office. Clem. Do you think I look like his satanic majesty, Kit ? Where's your master ? Kit. Dunns, Massa Bancroff. S'pose his botanic majesty's gone out. Clem. Ha, ha, ha! That's a good one ! His "botanic maj- esty!" Ha, ha, ha! You say "you suppose he's gone out" — out where, you black domino ? « Kit. Dunno whar, Massa Bancroff. Specs he's down town, somewhar. Clem. Now see here, Kit, you're lying to me, and you know it. {Pointing to hat and coat, etc.) Does your master generally forget his hat and coat when he goes down town ? Kit {throwing up both hands in surprise and consternation). Well, I declar' ter gracious ef he ain't gone off widout his close ! He's a-gettin' orful absent-minded ob late, Mars Clem. You'll hab ter kind ob talk ter him. I's discouraged myself, I hab ter look after him so much. It's a awful 'sponsibility, sah. Now jest think ob dat dude a-wanderin' down town bareheaded. I's mos' dis- tracted ! Clem. Come, now, Kit, here's a quarter for you. I'm in a A LIMB O THE LAW. 5 hurry, and I want to see Mr. De Benham right off. Come, that's a good fellow ! Kit {taking money). Dunno whar he is, Mars Bancroff. He tole me he was gone out, — he didn't say whar, — an' was goin' ter be busy, an' couldn't see no one nohow ! Clem. Well, he'll see me, you scapegrace. I'll warrant he's no farther than the little office. Tell him that I'm in a hurry. (Kit peeps into small office and ducks his head just in time to escape a book thrown at him by Gus.) Gus {behind scenes). Shut that door ! Kit {to Clem). No, sah. He ain't in dar. {Exit.) Clem. I'll see for myself. Hello, Gus ! {Enter Gus.) Seems to me you're excited this morning ! Gus {shaking hands). Ah, Clem, is that you ? Take a seat, old fellow. Take a seat. Well, how do you do ? Haven't seen you since you returned from New York. How are you ? Clem. I'm all right, Gus, and how are you getting along? Gus. Same old story, Clem, — over head and ears in love and debt, that's all. Have a Havana ? Clem. Don't care if I do, but I'm not smoking as much as I did. Think I shall give it up by and by altogether. It's bad for the constitution. Well, and how's the governor? Gus. He's gone to Philadelphia for the next three months or more. He had let his city residence, you know, and was prepar- ing to reside at his country seat in Springville ; was looking round for servants, in fact, when he was called away on business. He secured a gardener, however, and the grounds and stables are well looked after. A fine dog-cart went down yesterday. He probably won't be home till November, though. Clem. I presume he went alone. Gus. Ah ! I see where the land lies now. Yes, my dear boy, Alice is visiting the Sanborns at Nahant. Clem. Ah, indeed ! Of course your father came down hand- somely, Gus ? Gus. He gave me a check for my quarter's allowance in ad- vance. That's all. Clem. Have you drawn the money? Gus. My dear fellow, it will take every cent of it to pay my lasi; quarter's debts. Clem. The deuce ! What a stupid proceeding ! Gus. Can't help it, Clem, my creditors were pressing. In fact {walking floor with ha7ids in pockets), I have had to compound with them for the credit of the bar. Clem. Does the governor know of this ? Gus. No, sir. {Aside.) And he never will, if I can help it. Clem. Well, this state of things can't last forever. At what hotel are you stopping? Gus. Oh, I'm trying to economize just now. I've taken up my lodgings here on the lounge, and dine at a cheap restaurant. 6 A LIMB O THE LAW. Clem. Pshaw ! a pleasant way of spending the next three months certainly. I came for you to take a run down to Long Branch with me, and I find you in this predicament, — confined to an office all day, eight hours' hard work at least, cheap food, your rest a narrow sofa — why, my dear fellow, you'll certainly break down under it ! Gus {slapping Clem on shoulder). On the contrary, Clem, I mean to make a change right off and live like a nabob. I shall shut up my office for a month at least, have a retinue of servants at my command, drive round in a dog-cart, eat the best dinners the market can provide, and have a little cash to spare. Clem. Ah ! what have you done ? bought a Louisiana lottery ticket? Gus. You are joking, but I never was more in earnest in my life. {Takes newspaper from the desk.) Just listen to this: {Reads.) '• To Let — Furnished. — A genteel country residence, four miles from town, with fourteen rooms furnished in modern style ; stable, granary, and large garden stocked with the choicest fruits, near a railroad and omnibus station. Part of rent will be taken out in board by advertiser. Terms made known on applica- tion to G. D., Transcript office." Clem. Hang it, man ! you aren't going to let your own father's house, are you ? - Gus {coolly). That's my plan. Why should the house remain empty a whole quarter, and no one get any good of it. It is said that fortune knocks at a man's door but once in a lifetime ; if he does not let her in then he loses her. I shall admit her. Clem. I sincerely hope that you will not open your door to mis- fortune. Have you thought what all this will entail ? You are about to take strangers in your father's new house ; the carpets and furniture will be spoiled, Gus. Gus. Oh, no! I shall see to it that the tenants are highly re- spectable. Clem. If you take my advice, you won't do anything of the sort. Gus. Well, then, I sha'n't take your advice. Clem ; my mind is made up, and your arguments will be of no avail. Clem. Well, it's none of my business, but I wouldn't do it for a thousand dollars. If it shouldn't succeed it won't be the first scrape you've got into, you know, and I advise you to look before you leap this time, Gus ; I don't suppose it's any use to talk if your mind's made up. By the way, when is Alice coming home? Gus. She's been gone only two weeks, you know, and she wrote last Tuesday that she intended to go to the " Mountains " with her . friends. So she's all right, you see. Clem. Well, your arrangements seem perfect enough. I'm sorry you've undertaken it, but since you have, may you be suc- cessful. (Looking at watch.) Nine o'clock, and I'm to take the 9.30 train for Hyde Park. {Shaking hands.) Well, good-by, old fellow. Hope you'll come out all right. A LIMB O THE LAW. J Gus. Good-day, Clem. {Airily.') Call up to the house and dine some day, and see tor yourself. Clem. Thank you, I'll do so. Good-morning. (Exit.) Gus {rubbing hands) . So far, so good. Now to cage my bird, in other words, secure a tenant. Kit ! Kit (limps in with one boot off, which he holds in o?ie hand and a blacking-brush i?i the other). Yes, sah, heah I is wid all my im- pedimenta, sah. Gus. Go to the Transcript office and see if there is anything there for me. Kit (drawing on boot). Yes, sah. Shall I tell dat Mr. Tran- script who it for ? Gus. Of course, you blockhead ! How'd' you suppose he'd know ? Kit. Yes, sah ! all right, sah. (Exit.) Kit (re-entering). Is dat Mr.Transcript de one wid — ? Gus. Confound it, stupid! Haven't you gone yet ? (Seizes his cane, upon which Kit makes a hasty exit.) Kit (as he goes). Yes, sah, I's mos' dar now! Gus. That confounded negro ! His impudence would exhaust the patience of Job himself, if he were here. Well, let me see what is to be done to-day. Those papers of Mrs. Mayo are finished, but there's Smithson's case to look up, some half-dozen letters to write, and — (Knock at door. Enter " Lady in Black.") Ah ! Good- morning, madam. Pray be seated ; those papers will be ready in a few moments. Please excuse me. (Goes to small office and re- appears with papers?) There is no doubt but that the jury will render a verdict in your favor, and the rightful heirs will come into possession of the property. I advise you to have as little to say about the matter as possible, as I have evidence that you are watched and that the prosecution mean to push the case as far as they can. L. in B. You are very kind, Mr. De Benham, and if you are successful in obtaining this suit for me, I shall reward you liber- ally. (Rising.) Gus. Don't mention it, madam. It is all in the way of busi- ness, you know. (Showing client to the door.) L. in B. Your office is open afternoons, I believe ? Gus. Yes ; for the present. L. in B. I will call for the other papers this afternoon. Gus (bowing her out). Very well, madam. Good-morning. (Enter Kit, out of breath.) Well, what did you learn? Stop your confounded acting and give me the letters, if there are any! You ought to belong to a minstrel show. It has taken you over five minutes to take a minutes' walk, and you come back out of breath. Come, speak ! Kit (wiping perspiration from face with a red ba?idanna). Golly, Massa Bedlum ! I's rund dis yer head mos' off, so it's 8 A LrMB O' THE LAW. stopped my bref. Dat yer man say I was jess in time, for dar was a gen'man dar what was enquiring fer you. Gus {impatiently}. Well, did you bring him up? Kit {rolling eyes in pretended surprise). Law, no, sah. Golly, he's too big ! Gus {sternly). Answer my question ! Kit {uneasily). Yes, sah, Fs gettin' roun 1 ter dat. You see, he couldn't come jess den, so I gib him your 'dress. Was dat all right, sah ? {Rap at door.) Gus. There's a knock; after admitting whoever it may be, you may take that package of letters on the table to the office, and mind you don't stop to play base ball on the way. Do you understand ? Kit {in surprise). Now, how'd you know I 's been playin' base ball dis yer mawnin' ? Gus. What's that sticking out of your pocket ? Kit {taking out a ball and looking at it in surprise). Some ob dem Irish hoodlums been playin' a joke on me. {Snatches letters and opens door, admitting MR. Grayham.) Gus. Ah, good-morning, sir. {Places chair.) Mr. G. Good-morning. Mr. De Benham, I believe? (Gus bows.) I called, sir, in consequence of your advertisement in the Transcript. Gus. You have an idea of spending a few months out of town ? Mr. G. Exactly, sir; for three months only. I hope your place will be satisfactory, for I have already looked at three places this morning, and none of them is what I desire. The price is no con- sideration whatever, provided I get something to suit me. Gus. It is one of the finest places you ever saw, sir. The rooms are large and airy ; the furniture entirely new ; scenery mag- nificent ; location healthy; grounds beautiful and well kept, and the driving and fishing everything that could be desired ; I think you will like it, sir. Mr. G. Well, if you have no objections, I will drive round this afternoon, and if everything is satisfactory we shall wish to take possession immediately. Gus. What family have you, sir? Mr. G. Only my wife, daughter, and self. Gus. And you have no objections to taking me to board ? I'm not much trouble in a house. Mr. G. None whatever. Pray, what are your terms ? Gus. One thousand dollars for the season ; that is for three months. I will allow you ten dollars a week for my board ; that takes off one hundred and thirty : balance eight hundred and seventy dollars. Mr. G. If I conclude to take it, I will call here to-morrow and pay you in advance. Gus. As you please, sir. Mr. G. {rising). My name is Grayham, of the firm of Godfrey, Grayham & Co. ' {Passing card.) My business card ; I am the senior partner. Good-morning. {Exit.) A LIMB O THE LAW. 9 Gus. Good-morning, sir. {Excitedly .) Grayham ! One daugh- ter ! What if it proved to be she I met at the Browns' the other night ! It can't be, and yet the name is an uncommon one. He might be her uncle or her cousin, but it cannot be her father. Why, it almost drives me mad to think of it — and I'm to board in the family, too ! (Sits at desk in deep revery. Door opois and his sister enters with small dag strapped across shoulders.) Alice. Hullo, Gus; how do you do? Poor fellow, I believe you've got the blues, moping in this old office all day long. O Gus ! I've had just the loveliest time you ever knew of in all your life ; but it does seem rather good to get back home again. I've sent all my trunks right on to Springville ; I thought the gardener would see to them all right, and didn't want to bother you. Why, Gus, what is the matter ? You don't seem very glad to see me, I'm sure. Gus. Alice, what in the name of common-sense are you here for? Alice. What am I here for ? Where should I be? We changed our minds about going to the mountains, so I came home — thought you'd be lonesome alone in the house and father gone away. Gus (pacing floor). Gracious, Alice! Come home! Then you'd better go back again ! Alice. The idea, Gus De Benham ! I've just as much right to stay at home as you have, and, what's more, I shall, too. (Sits.) Gus (aside). Well, I've got myself into*a pretty scrape ! What'n thunder am I going to do about it? Alice. Are you crazy, Gus, or practising for a pedestrian, or what's the matter ? I'm thoroughly out of patience with you. The .house hasn't burned down, has it? I hope it hasn't, for the San- borns are coming next Monday to stay the rest of the summer. I told them what a lovely romantic place we have, so they changed their minds about going to the mountains, and are coming here with all their servants and all the children. Won'Ht be lovely ! Papa said I might invite them, you know. Of course I wouldn't ask them on my own responsibility, although they are such old friends of the family. Gus (desperately). Alice, you may as well write and tell them they can't come, for the house is full of company now. Alice. I shall do no such thing! I'd like to know what right you have to invite company to papa's house without his permission. You needn't think that because he is away you are going to dictate to me. Gus. Alice, I don't know that it's any of your business whom I invite to the house. Alice. It is my business when papa's given me permission to have my company ; but I'm not going to quarrel with you. Where are the keys to the house ? Gus. You can't have them. Alice. Then I'll telegraph to father ! IO A LIMB O THE LAW. Gus. Confound father ! Alice {looking horrified). Fine language to use in the presence of a lady, and that lady your sister. What would poor mamma say to hear you talk so. Gus. Come, now, Alice, I beg your pardon ; but it's no use, the Sanborns can't come. Alice. Why not, sir, pray? I have papa's permission. I believe yours is not necessary, since he owns the house. Gus {aside). I've got myself into a tight fix, and I might as well tell her the whole story. I think she'll help me out. ( To Alice.) Well, I'll tell you, if you'll listen to reason. Alice. When a man deigns to give a woman a reason, he has some selfish motive for it. Gus. You are sarcastic, but I'll overlook it and proceed. The fact is, I am some two or three hundred dollars in debt — Alice. That's no news. I never knew you to be out of debt. Gus {without noticing the interruption). And I want to get out of it. Alice. Well that is news ! but filling the house with company won't do it. Gus {curtly). It isn't polite to interrupt, remember! I've let the house to a Mr. Grayham for the season. Alice {rising). Augustus De Benham ! Gus. And now what are you going to do? I've made arrange- ments to board in their family. Alice. What will father say ? Gus {dubiously). I know it, but it can't be helped now. And he'll never know it unless you tell him. Alice. Well, I've just as much right to board in the family as you have. Gus. But you can't. It's all arranged. Alice. But I will. See if I won't. Gus. Now, Alice, don't go and make a fuss. Alice {laughing). It's becoming in you to talk about making fusses. You can make arrangements with this Mr. Graybeard or Grayham — whatever his name is — to take another boarder, that's • all. Gus. But supposing he won't ? Alice. Then you'll either tell him the whole story, or — or — r — r — I'll hire myself out to them as waiting-maid, or something of that sort. Now, how romantic that would be, wouldn't it ? A wealthy young heiress, whose father and brother are prominent lawyers, hiring herself out as waiting-maid. It's perfectly lovely ! How I hope they won't want another boarder ! You wouldn't dare to write papa about it, you know. Oh, I'm real glad I came home! Gus {in despair). Alice, you won't do anything of the sort. Alice. Try it. Gus. But the Sanborns ? Alice. Oh, yes ! I'll write to them immediately, and relieve A LIMB O THE LAW. T I you of that ; but you must arrange about the board, remember. {Aside.') I wonder what they'll think? If I write them that the house is already full of company, they'll be sure to mention it to papa the next time they see him, and then will come the denoue- ment. If I were Gus I should feel that the sword of Damocles hung over my head all the time. Well, it is none of my affair any- way. He'll have to get out of the scrape the best way he can. He can wheedle papa into believing almost anything, so I'll do it. {Looking over desk.) Are the paper and ink here, Gus ? Gus. In the little office you'll find what you want. {Puts on coat and hat. Aside.) By Jove ! this is the worst scrape I ever was in. {To Alice.) I'll be back within an hour. You can give your letter to Kit to mail. {Exeunt both.) CURTAIN. ACT II. {Two months supposed to have elapsed.) Scene. — Handso?nely famished drawing-room of the De Benham ma?ision. Alice and Julia near window working with bright- colored silks and worsteds. Mr. Grayham asleep in chair. Julta. So you say that Augustus does not own this house, Alice? I am greatly surprised. Alice. Yes, but don't let Gus know that I told you, and don't for the world tell your mother and father about it. Gus is so headstrong. He never stops to" consider consequences, and is always getting himself into scrapes. You see, father went away two months ago to stay till October, possibly till November, and Gus thought it would be fine to let the house while he was gone, and not let him know anything about it. The fact is, he was two or three hundred dollars in debt, and he wanted to clear himself. I honor him for his motive, but I fear his method was not the best. Julia. No ; "Two wrongs never made aright." He made a great mistake in getting into debt, and another in his means of freeing himself from it. If your father finds it out, which is quite likely, he will be very angry. Of course he cannot attach any blame to my father, as he is entirely ignorant of the way matters stand. There is a carriage coming up the avenue. Who can it be ? It's a stout gray-haired gentleman in a light suit. Alice {looking out). Why, it's father De Benham! What shall we do, Julia? Julia. Your father! Alice. Yes — poor Gus ! Come, let's not meet him yet. We'll go to our rooms and come down when the excitement's over. 12 A LIMB O THE LAW. {Exeunt Alice and Julia at oite door. Enter Augustus at another with newspaper ; sits at window.) Gus. This is rather comfortable. A fellow can enjoy life and take comfort living in this style. What a delightful two months I've spent ! and Julia has promised to be my wife. Her father is going to give her a handsome dowry, and she promises that the wedding-day shall come off soon. How soundly the old gentleman sleeps ! Surely this is dolce far niente ! I think it must have been an inspiration that put the idea into my head of letting the place. As soon as the time expires I shall put everything in apple-pie order, and the governor will be none the wiser for it. {Enter Mr. De Benham with travelling-bag.') Gus {springing up) . You here, sir ! Mr. De B. You here, sir? How came you to think of opening the house ? I have travelled day and night. Did you expect me so soon ? Gus. N — no, sir, — I — but — I — I thought you would not dislike it! Mr. De B. Oh, no ! Not at all — not at all! Very thoughtful on your part. Saved me a vast amount of trouble. Went up to your office, but you were gone. Servants here ? Gus. Yes, sir. Mr. De B. Pretty good ones, eh ? Gus. Well, they average pretty fair. {Aside.) How'n the deuce shall I manage this affair now? Mr. De B. Well, it's about dinner-time, isn't it? Travelling makes a man hungry. Gus. Yes, sir, it is, — that is, I believe it is — almost. Mr. De B. {impatiently). Well, well, then let's have dinner ; I'm hungry as a bear. Gus {nervously). Just one moment, father ; I — desire — a — to explain that I have some friends staying with me, — very respectable people, I assure you, sir, — the Grayhams ; do you know them? Mr. De B. Grayham, Grayham — no, but I've heard the name. {Enter Mrs. Grayham.) Gus. This is my father, Mrs. Grayham. Mrs. Grayham, Mr. De Benham. {Bow and shake hands.) Mrs. G. I am very glad to meet you, Mr. De Benham. Feel yourself welcome, and make yourself at home. Mr. De B. {in surprise) . Eh ? Thank you, ma'am. Mrs. G. Won't you stop with us and take dinner? It will soon be ready. Mr. De B. Well, ma'am, I had intended to do so. {Aside.) Very hospitable, considering this is my own house. {Enter Julia with note.) Gus. Father, this is Miss Grayham. {They bow and shake hands.) A LIMB O THE LAW. 13 Julia. I am glad to meet you, Mr. De Benham. Mr. De B. {pleasantly}. Thank you, Miss Gray ham ; you do me honor. Julia. Mother, here is a note which a boy just brought, and is now waiting for an answer. Mrs. G. A note ? Thank you, Julia. I wonder whom it is from. If you will excuse me, Mr. De Benham, I will — Mr. De B. {bowing). Certainly, certainly, Mrs. Grayham. Do not let me detain you. I trust you will proceed as you would have done before my arrival. Mrs. G. Thank you, sir. {Aside?) What a queer old fellow ! {Exit.) Julia. You will dine with us, sir? Mr. De B. {coolly). I rather think I shall, young lady. Gus {hastily). You're tired and dusty, father ; won't you come to my room ? Mr. De B. {testily). No, sir! I'll go to my own room, and I'll call the butler to dust me when I'm ready. I want to see how things look. With what taste would your poor mother, it she were alive, have arranged everything. {Enter Alice.) Alice. Why, papa De Benham! How delighted I am to see you! I have been just pining to have you come home! (Gus shows his vexation in pantomime.) Mr. De B. Well, well, Alice, you here too ? I thought you were at the Sanborns'. Alice. Oh, well, I was ; but — why, — a — I concluded to return home sooner than I had planned. Thought Gus would be lone- some, you know. Mr. De B. Humph ! He seems to have plenty of company, just now. (Julia wakes her father .) Julia. Father ! Here is a gentleman. Mr. G. Eh ? {Hastily rising and rnbbing eyes.) Mr. De B. '{aside to Gus). Clodhoppers on my new velvet chairs ! Julia. This is Mr. De Benham, father. Mr. G. Bless me, sir! I'm afraid I was vulgar enough to doze. Mr. De Benham, I'm happy to see you. Pray sit down, sir. Mr. De B. Thank you. I prefer walking about. {Aside to Gus.) Curse his impudence ! asking me to be seated in my own house. Are these people all lunatics ? Gus {aside to his father). He is odd; very peculiar, but one of the best of men. {Aside to Mr. G.) He is eccentric, very ; always was, but you mustn't mind it. Mr. G. (looking at watch). Why, bless us, it's nearly dinner- time ! You will dine with us, will you not, enfamille? Mr. De B. {arranging books, chairs, and so forth, to his own satisfaction). I intended to, most certainly. Travelling makes a 14 A LIMB O THE LAW. man hungry, and as the country air probably produces a similar effect on you, I shall make no apology for ordering dinner imme- diately. {Rings. Enter James.) Dinner directly, Sam. {Exeunt Alice and 'Julia laughing?) James {loftily). James, sir ! {Looks to Mil. G.) Mu. G. Serve the dinner if it is ready, James. {Aside.) Con- found the man's impudence ! {Exit ]amf.s, followed by Mr. G.) Mr. De B. Hang his insolence ! Must he tell my servants what to do ? Gus (nervoztsly). Don't mind him ! He — he's my best client. I — I mustn't lose him, you know. He doesn't mean anything. I — he doesn't know any better, you know. Mr. De B. What'n the deuce ! Do you suppose I keep open house, sir, for your crazy clients? No, sir. I'll turn him out, and you, too, you vagabond ! Gus. There, don't get excited, father. You — you're tired. Sit down and rest, sir. Mr. De B. {excitedly). What! Am I to be ordered about, by my own son, too ! I'd like to know the meaning of these strange proceedings ! Explain yourself ! How long do these people pro- pose to remain here ? Gus. I — I — 1 haven't asked them, sir. Mr De B. Well, the sooner they leave, the better. Gus. Sir, I — I hope you will treat them with the respect they merit. Mr. Grayham belongs to one of the best known, and one of the most respectable firms in the city. They are here at my invitation and — and — Mr. De B. And you expect me to support them and bear their insolence ! Why, their confounded impudence would be ludicrous if it were not exasperating. The idea of their inviting me to sit at my own table, and trying to make me feel at home in my own house ! Gus. Yes, sir, I — I feel your position, sir. {Aside.) Confound it all ! I've a mind to make a clean breast of it. {To his father.) Hem ! — the fact is — {Enter Mr. G.) Mr. G. I hope you will make yourself at home, Mr. De Ben- ham. I presume you will pass the night with us. Mr. De B. {astonished). Where'n the name of common-sense did you suppose I'd pass it, if not here? Mr. G. {with dignity). Very well, sir, when you are ready I will show you to your room — the blue chamber. Mr. De B. I am much obliged ! but if it is all the same to you, sir, I prefer to select my own apartment. Mr. G. Mr. De Benham ! your — {Enter Clem, Bancroft, Alice, and Mrs. G. Mr. G. turns and walks to window.) A LIMB O THE LAW. 1 5 Mr. De B. Ah! Clem, how do you do? Shake hands. Glad to see you, my boy. Well, you look happy. Clem. Never was more so in my life, sir. {With a sly look at Gus.) Gus and I have been enjoying ourselves hugely. I don't believe Gus has had such a good time since he played that joke on me at college once. (To Gus.) You remember it, old fellow, of course. I'm only waiting to get square with you, you know. Gus. Oh, you must let bygones be bygones, Clem. You were having all the game to yourself, and we wanted a little fun too. By the way, Mr. Grayham, allow me to present to you my friend Mr. Bancroft. You have never happened to meet him when he has been here before. {Aside.) I do believe he is up to some game. Clem. I'm happy to make your acquaintance, Mr. Grayham. Mr. G. {stiffly). Thank you. Mr. De B. You are just in time, Clem, to take dinner with us. Clem. Thank you, sir ; I shall be most happy. Mr. G. Really ! Mr. De — (Julia seizes his arm and whispers in his ear. Mr. G. shows his resentment to her in pantomime.) Clem. Well, Gus, how do you like boarding nowadays ? Gus. Well enough. {Aside.) Let up now, Clem, and give me a rest. Clem. It's a good thing for a change, don't you think so, Mr. De Benham ? Mr. De B. Well, I never tried it much myself. I should think it might be though. Mr. G. {To Clem significantly). It isn't necessary for some people to board, young man ; they live on the incomes of their friends. Mr. De B. Ah ? {Adjusting eyeglasses.) You are right there, Mr. Grayham ! A truer thing never was said. Julia {interrupting hastily) . O father! we've been proposing to take a long drive to the lakes this afternoon ; are you willing? Mr. G. {sarcastically). Ask Mr. De Benham, my dear. Mr. De B. I have no objections to you using the horses, pro- vided you — Mr. G. {starting from chair angrily). Sir! Although your son and I have lived in this house peaceably and pleasantly for two months, it is very evident that you and I cannot, and — Mr. De B. Indeed ? and I presume that you are about to sug- gest that /take up my residence elsewhere. Mr. G. Mr. De Benham, you as a lawyer must be aware that I have a right to make the suggestion. Mr. De B. A right to make it ! Mr. G. Yes, sir; but I scorn to make use of my right, and I merely give your son notice that I shall go to-morrow, leaving it to his sense of justice to accord me reasonable damages. Mr. De B. Reasonable damages ! Haven't you taken up your quarters here, bag and baggage ; ordered my servants about ; ap- propriated whatever rooms you saw fit, for your own use, as if you were master here ? — and now talk of reasonable damages ! l6 A LIMB O' THE LAW. Mr. G. Well, sir ! and haven't I paid my rent in advance ? Mr. De B. Rent in advance, you crazy old fellow, you ! I'll — Gus (hastily}. Father! Mr. Grayham! Let me explain. lam the unhappy cause of all this misunderstanding between two whom I would have the best of friends. (Mr. De B. and Mr. G. look defiantly at each other.} When you went away, father, I was sadly- in debt. At first I thought that by uring my office as a lodging- place, and taking my meals at a cheap restaurant, I might, by a little economy, lay by enough to pay them all off; but while medi- tating upon this plan, an advertisement for a country residence met my eye. The thought immediately occurred to me that, as ours was to be vacant for three or four months, I might offer that and thus pay my debts ; and on the impulse of the "moment, without a thought as to consequences, I sent an advertisement to the Tran- script. The next day Clem called and remonstrated with me, reminding me of certain past experiences, and advising : me to keep out of it ; but then it was too late, and although I began to realize what I had done, I could not retract. The rest you already know. This gentleman applied, and all the arrangements being satisfactory to the parties concerned, myself in particular, he has taken up his residence here for the season. I know I have done wrong. I — Mr. De B. You rapscallion, you! You vagabond! You — {Walking floor :) If these ladies were not present, I'd — I — I — I — Mr. G. Mr. De Benham, calm yourself, I beg. He meant no harm ! I've been a boy myself, and I dare say you've cut up a prank or two also. Now that we understand the matter, I — here's my hand, sir. Mr. De B. (shaking hands). Mr. Grayham, I beg a thousand pardons. If I had but understood — (Dubiously.*) I thought the boy'd outgrown these freaks. I never could tell what he'd be up to next, and — Mr. G. Don't mention it, sir; don't mention it. It's a mild way of sowing wild oats ; but it's I who should beg your pardon. It was I who was guilty of losing temper. Mr. De B. You had plenty of provocation, sir. Mr. G. Let us forget it and be friends. Gus. Father, Mr. Grayham, I sincerely ask your forgiveness for being the cause of all this trouble. I really meant no harm, and had I but looked before leaping, I should never have done it. This has taught me a lesson, however, and should my debts ever increase to a hundred-fold of what they were, I would take a more honest method of liquidating them. Mr. G. My dear boy (shaking him by the hand), I know you meant no harm, therefore I freely forgive you. Mr. De B. Young man, you, as a lawyer, know that you have committed an offence that in courts of law would be looked upon as a crime. The fact of our relationship I do not look upon as an extenuating circumstance. This might have led to serious results. A LIMB O THE LAW. \J I advise you to be more careful in future ; yet, if Mr. Grayham can overlook the affair and forgive you, here is my hand. Gus {humbly). Thank you, sir. Thank you, Mr. Grayham. Mr. De B. But who the dickens sent me that telegram to be home by the 20th? All. Telegram ? Mr. De B. Telegram ? yes, telegram ! I received it several days ago, and after settling up my business hurried home. No name was signed, but I supposed it was all right. Mr. G. This looks like conspiracy. Clem, /sent the telegram, sir. I should have mentioned it to Gus, but wished to get even with him for a practical joke he once played on me at college. You see, about a year ago a lady and gentleman stepped into my office and desired me to make out a will. To my surprise the will, which named several hundred thou- sand dollars, was in favor of you, sir (to Mr. De B.), and your two children. Upon enquiry I found that the lady was your maiden sister ; the gentleman was her physician. She desired me to say nothing of this will, so of course I have not ; but two weeks ago I received word that she was dead, having been the victim of a steamer accident while crossing the Atlantic. She told me at the time of the making of the will, that the relations between yourself and her had not been pleasant, but she did not wish her property to go out of the family ; so your son and daughter are now indepen- dently wealthy. Allow me to congratulate you. This is why I sent the telegram, as there is much business which will require your supervision. I beg your pardon for any unpleasantness I may have caused, (Mr. De B. grasps his hand.') Mr. G. (shaking hands). Don^ mention it, Mr. Bancroft. Allow me to congratulate you, Mr. De Benham (shaking hands) ; and you, too, my dear, (to Alice), Well, Augustus, you'll have no more worry about debts, my boy. Ha, ha, ha ! Mr. De B. (sadly). So your poor Aunt Maria has gone, Alice. (Putting arm about her.) Alice. Yes, but I never saw her, did I, papa ? Mr. De B. No, my dear. She was displeased with my mar- riage, and has never come near me since. What a day of develop- ments this has been, Mr. Grayham ! If there are no more (smiling), perhaps one of us had better see why the dinner is delayed so long. Mr. G. (laughing). I told my servant James a while since, that I was entertaining a crank or a lunatic here, and he was to take orders from no one but myself. Til countermand it now. (All laugh . ) Gus. There is one more development, father. Mr. Grayham has promised that his daughter shall be my wife. Shall we not keep our friends here until — Mr. De B. After the wedding ? By all means ; I could not think of letting them leave until we too return to the city. Miss 1 8 A LIMB O' THE LAW. Julia, I could not have selected a better wife myself, and I'm sure Alice will welcome you. And, Clem, I have seen certain symp- toms in your direction which I could not misinterpret. If there is any young man whom I esteem more than another, it's yourself, and I willingly give Alice into your charge ; but do not take her away. Consider your home with me. Mr. Grayham, I take it for granted that you will remain until we close up the house here. Do you agree ? Mr. G. Certainly, most certainly, if Mrs. Grayham is content, and thinks she can manage a double wedding — and what woman couldn't ? I — Mrs. G. There, there, pa, you don't know what your saying — of course I can ! Mr. De B. Then we will atone for what might have ended most disastrously; but, young men, since you have been the cause of all this misunderstanding, let me impress it upon your minds while the events are still fresh, to always look before you leap. James {throwing open folding doors and bowing). Dinner ready, sir ! CURTAIN. A New Comedy. COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF. A COMEDY IN TWO ACTS. By ST. CLAIR HURD. For four male and five female characters. Scenery, two interiors, easily arranged; costumes modern and simple. Plays an hour and a half. This little piece has more plot than is usual in plays of its length, and works up to an exciting climax. Solomon Nathan is a capital comedy part, and Phineas Phunnel and Phcebe Stopper excellent eccen- tric character parts. This piece has been many times successfully per- formed from manuscript. Price .... 15 cents. FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY. A VISION OF FAIR WOMEN. A DRAMATIC PARAPHRASE IN ONE SCENE, Based upon Tennyson's " Dream of Fair Women." By EDITH LYNWOOD WINN. (As presented by the Polymnia Society, of Shorter College, Home, Ga., April, 1889.) Thirty-nine girls are called for by the full text of this excellent entertainment, besides the " Dreamer " who has the vision ; but a smaller number may be used, at pleasure, by simply reducing the num- ber of tableaux. No scenery is required, and the costumes can be easily contrived by home talent. This is a very picturesque and enjoyable entertainment, and by giving a large number of pretty girls a chance to look their best, is sure to please them and every one else. Price .... 15 cents. WHO'S TO INHERIT? A COMEDY IN ONE ACT. FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY. For nine female characters. Scene, an easy interior; costumes, modern and simple. Margery is a "rough diamond," who always speaks her mind. Miss Chatter, Miss Pry and Miss Nicely are a very amusing trio of gossips, to whom Mrs. Fitzfudge's sharp tongue is a terror. Price .... 15 cents. A NEW PLAY FOR GIRLS. The Chaperon, A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS, By RACHEL E. BAKER, PART AUTHOR OF " AFTER TAPS," ETC. Fifteen female characters. Scenery not difficult. Costumes, tennis gowns and modern street and evening gowns, with picturesque Gypsy costumes for Miriam and Jill. Time in playing, two and a half hours. Price SYNOPSIS: ACT I. Jack and Jill. A love game. Cousins for sale. " My kingdom for a hairpin." The French teacher. A few conundrums. Miriam and Jill. The Gypsy's blessing. Nora and the French language. JlllUt-'foux and Billy Manahan. An invitation. "I will be -your chaperon ! " Telling for- tunes. The. Tennis Drill. Tales out of school. Joyce and the beggars. The accusation. Joyce to the rescue. " I cannot look into your eyes and believe you guilty." Under a cloud. The Gypsy's prophecy. "Miriam the Gypsy has spoken, and she never breaks her word." ACT II. Tm? Chaperon. In the studio. Nora and the man in armor. A spiritual manifestation. Eavesdropping, Locked in. The artist's model. A little lark. The bogus chaperon. The skeleton in the closet. Ilomeo and Juliet adapted. Miriam the Gypsy. The secret of the papers. " God be with them and w.th those to whom they belong!" Masquerading. Nora's jig. A surprise and an escape. The sciiool-ma am outwitted. The Minuet. Jill and Joyce. The locket. " It means that the waif has found a home at last ! " Sisters. The Gypsy again. " Your duty lies with them, make the:r lives as happy as you have mine." ACT III. "Like Other Girls." A five o'clock tea. Anticipations. The French teacher again. A lesson in politeness. A tiice hot cup of tea. Nora's revenge. Apologies. Mademoiselle's confession. I took it ; it was only for ze revenge." Forgiveness. " Rushing tea." Confessions. From grave to gay. An Adamless Eden. Superfluous man: a few portraits of him. Explanations. The fulfilment of Miriam's prophecy. A mystery eleared. "The little one I mourned as dead is alive." Our chaperon. ANOTHER "COUNTRY SCHOOL." THE OLD-FASHIONED HUSKING BEE. AN OLD FOLKS ENTERTAINMENT IN ONE SCENE. By NETTIE H. PELHAM. For eleven male and five female characters, and as many more as desired. Scene, the interior of a barn, easily arranged ; costumes, old fashioned. Plays forty minutes or more, according to number of songs and specialties introduced. Very easy to get up, and very funny. An excellent introduction for a dance, supper or sociable, where a mixed entertainment is desired. Price 15 Cents. SYNOPSIS: SCENE. — Uncle Nathan's barn. Bobby and Scipio. In black and white. A few conundrums. " Silence am gold." Gathering of the neighbors. Music and fun. Thomas Jefferson is heard from. " Von leedle song," by Solomon Levi. Betsy and Josiah. A leap-year courtship. Algernon Fitznoodle and Little Lord Fauntleroy. The dude and the darling. Fitznoodle takes a tumble. Patrick and Ah Sin. Race prejudices. Harmony out of discord. Music. Betsy and the swing. A little mistake. Betsy recites. The Humanipho>'E. Pat and Kitty. The red ear. " Hurrah for supper ! " A DOUBLE SHUFFLE .A. COMEDY I2sT ONE ACT, By HARRY O. HANLON, Three male and two female characters. Scenery and costumes very simple. An admirable little parlor piece, playing about thirty-five minutes. Fred Somers, a collegian, with a taste for practical joking, tries to play a little joke on his sister and his fiancee, but they succeed in turning the tables completely upon him and his two college chums. Very bright and amusing. A sure hit. Price, .... 15 Cents. TWO NEW COMEDIES By the Author of "A RICE PUDDING." M A utograph I etier. By ESTHER B. TIFFANY, The author of "Anita's Trial," "Young Mr. Pritchard,' "That Patrick," etc. Price, ------- 515 cents. A comedy drama in three acts for five male and five female charac ters. This latest play of Miss Tiffany is by far the strongest work from her pen, and unites to the brilliancy and grace -which characterized heb earlier pieces, dramatic power of a high order. A charming little love- story, tender in sentiment but without mawkishncss, is cleverly combined with a plot of a graver nature which is developed in. a series of scenes c; great interest and power. As in all her pieres, th 2 dialogue is uistin- guished by brilliancy, and its humor genuine but refined. Two scenes only, both interiors, are required, and the properties and dresses are simple, modern in character, and easily gotten up. Equally suitable for stage or parlor performance. Plays ?bout two hours. THE WAY TO HIS POCKET. By thf. Same Author. Prfice, -------15 cents. ■ A comedy in one act for two male and three female character^. Scene an interior, costumes modern. All its requirements are simple to the last degree and offer no difficulties. This little play is in Miss Tiffany's best veim and admirably continues the series of parlor pieces, refined in humov «>4 clever in plan, of which she is the author. Plays about an hour- For Other Novelties Bee Other Side, Baker's Descriptive Catalogue. GEORGE RIDDLE'S READINGS. A representative collection of the most popular selections of thi . most popular elocutionist. Many of the readings contained in this vol ume were written expressly for Mr. Riddle, and are here printed for the first time. 197 pp., cloth. Price, $1.00, net. By mail, $1.10. CONTENTS : COME HERE! From the German . . By Genevieve Ward A CURE FOR DUDES . . By John T. Wheelwright A SEWING "SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL" " UNCLE MICAJAH'S TREAT AT SLAMBASKET BEACH ..." And other choice pieces, original and selected. THE VON BOYLE RECITATIONS. The dialect recitations of Ackland Von Boyle, vocalist and character delineator, arranged by himself. An excellent collection of humorous recitations, comprising German and Chinese dialect. 68 pp., paper covers . . Price, 15 cents. BAKER'S A. B. C. LEAFLETS. A series of selected recitations, published singly, for the economy and convenience of readers. These are published occasionally, as material offers. The series now contains : — THE ADVANCE By F. H. Gassaway AN INNOCENT DRUMMER . COMPANY K 4 pp. each, paper . . Price, 5 cents each. THREE POPULAR SONCS. SHAMROCK AND ROSE. MY IRISH QUEEN. MA BOUCHALEEN BAWN. And other music incidental to the favorite Irish drama, " Shamrock and Rose." By R. W. Lanigan and Leo A. Munier. The three published together at 60 cents, obtainable only of the publishers. Something for " Secret Societies.' JOINING THE TINPANITES, OR, PADDY MCFLING'S EXPERIENCE. (PART I.) A MOCK INITIATION. FOR THE AMUSEMENT AND INSTRUCTION OF SECRET SOCIETIES. ADAPTED TO ALL ORDERS, AND CONTAINING NOTHING TO OFFEND ANY SECRET ORGANIZATION. B^r David Hill, Author of " Forced to the War," " Bound by an Oath," " Out of his Sphere," "Placer Gold," "The Granger," etc. For thirteen male characters and supers. Scenery unimportant, the stage representing the interior of a lodge-room. Costumes, burlesque regalia. Plays forty-five minutes. This is an uproarously funny travestie of the forms of initiation, and is just the thing for a lodge-room entertainment. Any number of men can assist as members, etc. , Price, ... 15 cents. By the Author of " A Box of Monkeys." The Corner-Lot Chorus. A FARCE IN ONE ACT. F0R • FEMALE » CHARACTERS • 0NL2Y By Grace Livingston Furniss. As Originally Performed by "The Twelfth -Night Club," at the Lyceum Theatre, New York, on May 7, 1891. Seven female characters who speak, and ten Jury Girls. Costumes, modern and tasteful. Scenery of little or no importance. Plays about forty minutes. This clever little piece, by the author of "A Box of Monkeys," satirizes with a two-edged blade a foolish social exclusiveness and the weak side of amateur actors, and with bright and clever performers is a sure success. It affords a chance for elegant dressing, if desired, and for telling local hits. In its original performance by professional actresses it was a laughing success. Price, ... 35 cents. e • • - *"^ 4.°^