The Nuptials of Mr, Oliver Greenwood and 
 Miss Sparling. 
 
 MARRIED — “Tuesday last, at Kirby-le-Soken, by the Rev. W, 
 Coxbead, Oliver Greenwood, Esq., of Langley, near Halstead, to 
 Jane Agnes, youngest daughter of the late William Sparling, Esq. 
 ■olicitor, of Colchester.’* — Ipswich Express, August 27, 1844. 
 
 BfMC-S aiRB 
 
 ADDRESSED TO CHARLES CLARK. 
 
 GOOD morning, dear Sir, I believe Fm your debtor 
 For a well-wishing, kind, and poetical Letter, — 
 
 An EPITHALAMIUM of musical measure. 
 
 The perusal of which gave me infinite pleasure. 
 
 Allow me to thank you— which I do with sincerity. 
 
 And so does my wife^ Sir,— with parallel verity. 
 
 May the prayers of true friendship, so candidly given. 
 
 Be fully wrought out, ^neath the blessing of Heaven ! 
 
 And may they return^ with a dove-pinion'd lightness. 
 
 To shed round your pathway a halo of brightness ! 
 
 —For a number of years I have falter'd and tarried. 
 
 But I’ve done it at last. Sir, — Fv been and got married I 
 ’Tis pleasant, Fm told, Sir, to get thus entangled 
 In Hymen’s silk meshes, like a fish neatly angled ; 
 
 To find oneself hook’d by the gills, like a salmon, 
 
 Or hung up to dry, like a huge piece of gammon ! 
 
 But I can’t say, at present — Fve not had much practice. 
 Though I dare say you know, very well, what ih^fact is! 
 I think, when the match is well made and assorted. 
 There’s every chance of one’s being transported! 
 
 That is, when a man has a nice little wife, Sir, 
 
 I guess that he’s fix'd, and transported for life. Sir: 
 
 1 don’t mean to say that he’s chain’d like a felon. 
 
 And sent o’er the sea with the deuce of a smell on. 
 
 Which makes the poor biped as ‘‘ sick as a beer-tap,” 
 And from the heart’s fountains doth many a tear tap; — 
 No, no. Sir, — the man who has prudently wedded 
 Will find that in roses and joys he’s embedded ! 
 
 Or, like a green fly— (a comparison funny)— 
 
 He’ll find that he’s up to his chin in new honey ! 
 
 Of course, all this is while the honeymoon’s shining. 
 
 These roses and joys, that so check all r epining ; 
 
 When thaV^ over, I dare say, there’s sorrow and trouble. 
 And he wishes enough that he’d never grown double ! 
 
 He’ll be just like the fly, who was happy as thought. Sir, 
 Till he tried to take wing, and then — he was caught. Sir! 
 It’s of no use, his buzzing and scolding and kicking. 
 
 To his legs and his wings the new honey is sticking! 
 
 No more, oh ! no more can he flutter and hummer. 
 
 Or flirt with the Lady-flies, through the bright summer ; 
 He has rush’d — like a blind and impetuous rider — 
 
 Slap into the soft silken web of a spider 1 
 Poor thing ! how he’s riggling and skriggling and dangling, 
 Just like a sad worm on the hook, when you’re angling! 
 —Ah ! here comes the “ rub,” — and it’s one that much 
 rankles— 
 
 We must leave off admiring the beautiful ankles! 
 
 If a laughing blue eye should but beam on us brigthly. 
 
 Or a fairy white hand touch us ever so lightly. 
 
 We mustn’t feel “cos” it would’nt be graceful; 
 
 But look very glum, and of care have a face full ! 
 
 If we see a ripe lip with a summer smile beaming, 
 
 Or snowy white shoulders through golden hair gleaming; 
 If we see a fair bosom. Sir, thrill’d with emotion. 
 
 And throbbing with beauty, like an untroubled ocean, 
 
 We must mind what we’re at ; or, by the measure of Moses ! 
 We shall find that we’ve placed on the grindstone our noses! 
 And our good Lady wife, Sir, will give them a doing, 
 
 And spoil our nice “beaks” soon for billing and cooing; 
 Yes, she’ll grind. Sir, and grind, till she’s not left a particle 
 Of skin on our once much-admired leading article! 
 
 —To be serious though, I believe it’s a blessing 
 To have a good wife, wbo is kind and caressing ; — 
 
 Who will comfort and soothe when the world has been 
 cruel. 
 
 And when you’ve a cold. Sir, will make you some gruel ! 
 —Well, I’m getting, I see, to tbe end of my paper. 
 
 So I’ll look for some wax, and a nice little taper, 
 
 Werewith to shut out from the eyes of Jim Graham 
 These crooked ideas, — he's quite welcome to weigh ’em I 
 But I cannot conclude. Sir, without repetition 
 Of my unfeigned thanks, for your kind recognition. — 
 
 May ev’ry good thing which you’ve pray'd may be our’s 
 Fall in blessings on yoUy like tbe dew upon flowers !— 
 Now, Sir, I will finish, — and I wish that our Queen would ! 
 I am your’s very truly. Sir, — 
 
 OLIVER GREENWOOD. 
 
 LANGLEY, NEAR HALSTEAD, ESSEX, 
 AUGUST 28, 1844.