Joe Beefof Montreal, the Son of the People. He cares not for Pope, Priest, Parson or King William of the Boyne; all Joe wants is the Coin. He trusts in God in summer time to keep him from all Inirm; when he sees the frost and snow poor old Joetrnsts. in the Almighty Dollar and good old maple wood to keep his belly warm, for Churches, Chapels, Ranters, Preachers, Beechers and such stulf Montreal has already got enough. From the “Evening Star,” April 15th, 1876: Mr. .Tolm DougaU, in the Kew York Witness, makes an ajipeal for “ additional cajiitid to the extent of fifty thou- sand dollars.” He poiposes to i.ssue bonds of .?10, S50, SlOO and SoOO, payable in five years, and hearing 7 per cent, interest. JOE BEEF. Any Citizoua, this day, having any of their Bonds on Hand, will ]ilease call at iiiy Office from 10 a.m. to 12 a.in. daily, or at next door, the Bag Store, and they will get their lull value, as far as old paper goes 1 The Village Magistrate. The City Councillor. The Sunday School Bouncer. The. Blooming Rose, with the Temperance Nose. All you Clergymen, Captains, Sailors, Bums, and Senrvy- Tailors, if you can walk or crawl, when you go on the spree, go and ses JOE BEEF of Montreal. JOE BEEF’S ; PROCLAMATION TO THE EEOEEE. Awa^ with all hypocrites ; away with thoir prcachinfr; And away with their tracts and their religious teaching ; Away with all covetous hoarders of pelf. I haTo an ooen Bible and can judge for myself! You grazed-faced ranter, pray leave me alone, With “bless the Lord” on your Hps and your hearts made of stone; I want no more of your tracts or your “ lamps to the feet,” What I want is a shirt and something to eat I Away with imposters and their spiritual relief, And give me a man such as .Mr. Joe Beef. Who welcomes the poor man, let liim be black, white, or red, And ives lijm eating and drinking aud a comfortable bod. If you are Cold, wet and hungry, without a friend to be seen. Take five eent,<^ in ynnr poekor and go fn .Tne licef’s Uanteen ; There )ou arc sure to find your nauie iti Joe’s pot, Aud he won’t see you hungry, let you have money or not. No matter whether they call you “ Billy ” or “ Mick,” J oe will feed you if you arc hungry, and cure you if sick ; ile never frowns on the poor man or hmks with disdain, Just call on him once, aud you will call back again. For the sum of five cents, you can eat, drink and be merry ; Can drink whisky, gin, brandy, ale, porter or sherry ; And if you have no place to rest your wandering head, For the rouud sum of teu cents he will give you a bed. But before you retire, think of the sights to be seen, And the pleasure and comforts in Joe Beef’s Canteen ; No son of the world could ask to .see better. Although order and discipline are carried out to the letter. You can inspect his menagerie, see the bear in his cage, Take a walk through his ball-room, and dance on his stage ; Ten fM in his mcHe-room, can drink at his bar, Can IUMb ao music on piano, violin and guitar. Then away with the ranters and their religious pulf, liiv a Miad? -Mi’’'* Give me the man who will open hi.s door, And say, come in, my dear brother ! come, you are poor! One of the Boardehs. WAR DECLARED! JOE BEEF ON FREE BEEF, Corporation Legal Vermin to be Expropriated. .Joe ilrearls not war’s alarni.^. But calls on men to take nji arms. Joe announces that in recognition ot his services in and out of Thf Armt, and as a special mark of aj>preciai ion oi'his elibrts iti favor ol’a kukk ihnxkr TABLE, he was last night, l.y telegraph, added to the li.st of better known than respected Canadian Kniglits. ile is now SIU-LOrX BICEF, K. C. R., (Keeps Cooked Beef.) Joe regrets to say that lie iia.s been informed on good authority that 'I'wo poor devils in Montreal Jail Call their lute Bo.ss, Sir Jim Cow-Tail, And liint that if sume had tlieir desert.^ The Boss would be placed in one of their berths. SIR-LOIN (LATE JOE) BEEF ADDRESSETH THE CITIZENS. A hi KlXO RoBKIiT THE Biu ce. .soY'j.-inreo 3Beer. Jm, — S cots AViia Hae. Citizens hut sparsely led, By double tuvt»s .onndy bled. Surely plenty has been said I’o uniax meat. He who yet would croak and groa*, Slave-like begging fur bis own, Such want of manliuod will Imve shown .\s earn,- ,|ffeat. ’Tis monstrous and beyond belief That men whu would ilelend a thiW Should pru.-eciite for .selling beef Yet legal vermin Are to be found, wIjo have done such And would again, the ca.“li to clutcli. But what such do don't matter much, When we determine. Up, Rose and Shamrock, .Maple, Heather, Up, as Canadians, ail-lugeliier, Rascality has run its tether, I’ts cojiie tu grief Stand as men who knot^ what’s right, Stand a.s men who know, tljeir might. Stand resolval to win, or fight, So, says Joe Beef. Lest any mistake (here should he, I've got to say, tliis was done for me. (A very great favor, to get from liim ; Wlio so deeply loves Sm Cow-tail Jim)? By the IlerahV •S' general in-chief; The Buzzum friend of SIR-LOIN BKEF. THE BLMMERS’ HOTEL. My name is MacDufH , J come from Oalore, I have a large family, ami I keep a big >tore; J rent tliis wliole house, sure the Gang knows it well. And tlie name tiiut they gave it was the “ Bummers' HoteL'^ Chorus. Tliere’s one cent for coffee, and two cents for bread ; I'hree for abeefsteak, and rive for your beeer in an old oyster can ; He shave and cut your hair. If pains or aches you have got, his Pain-Killer is a sure relief. Get one Bottle down your throttle, you can mount the stairs, say your prayers, .and you will dream of Joseph Beef. — On his stage- you can sing and dance, you can see the emblems of Old Ireland, America and France. — The British and Canadian Flags are also to be seen hanging with the Green, down in old “ Joe Beef’s Canteen.” — When. Bishops, Priests, P.arsons, Preachers and Religious Teachers last December passed the poor men in their woe, they found a friend in poor old Joe. He gave to them a helping hand, with a supper and a bed. He did not do as Religious People did with poor Noble, stretch him on the Refuge iloor, next morning he was found, dead ! He did his best to please you all, no harm what country or creed you may be. Let you be Cannon’s Guns, Cliiniquy s Bums or St. Patrick’s Sons, you are all the same to me, therefore I will me.ss the undermen- tioned Swells at the undermentioned iDrices. Cents. Aristocratic Bhickgmirtls disguised ns gontleiiion 5 Aristocratic Swells with swallow-tailed coats, 5 Aristocratic Cadgers 5 Adjutants General and Organ Grinders h Aristocrats who speak tlirough their nose in a whining mood, making pretensions of knowledge, wisdom and superiority whieii they do not possess 5 Anointed King and Two-legged Animals 5 Apish Aristocrats with the aristoeratic gout in their head and no.'-e ' and bulging out at their rotten toes 5 Aged and Moral Libertines 5 Amiable Loafers 5 Buffoons 5 Baronets, Lawyers, Doctors, Clergymen and Bums 5 Beggarly Half-pay Ijoafers 5 Bogus Legislators 5 Blackguard lin broadcloth 5 Brummagen Colonels 5 Bruisers and Ruffians wearing Policeman’s Uniform 5 Beaver Hall Powdered Footmen 5 Blu«-blooded Swell Convicts, 5 Blue-coated Ruffians 5 Brutes iu Blue uniform 5 Brockyille Painters, Paper-hangers, Perfumers and Informers 5 Bishops, Priests, Parsons, Bastards aud Harlots 5 Bu«k-devouriug Princes 5 Boguft Irishmen 5 Broken-down Blnckloirs .‘A. 5 Blustering, Bloated, Broad-faced, Full-bellied, Petulant, Hot-Headed, Stupid Recorders 5 Brazen-faced Rogues 5 Burlington Smellers 5 Blue-blooded Dominion Bogus Codfish 5 Beayer Hall would-be Ari.stocrats with brass-plates on their doors and boiTOwed plates inside 5 Bigots, Schemers and Adventurers.... 5 Beayer Hull Wolfish Aristocrats 5 Bigoted Clergy 5 Beayer Hall Able-bodied Do-nothings 5 Brainless Boebies 5 Blubbering Blockheads 5 Blustering, Swaggering, Domineering Fops 5 Blooi-thirstj Two-legged Monsters 5 Bogus Counttf and Genuau Princes out of employment 5 Bleated Bishops 5 Blubbering Members of Parliament % Bigoted, Bloodj-ttiinded Lunatics 5 Gaaadian Serfs S Bunndlua Meeabers and Men of Straw 5 •awtiag Hjpoeritos...., 5 •anadian Skunks who prefer their own stink to the sweetest perfume from Paris 5 Canadian Colonels called gentlemen by mistake 5 Canadian Galoots with high-heeled boots and Corporation Blood Suckers 5 Canadian Members with trumpery titles 5 Canting, Whining, Shuffling Sneaks 5 City Poltroons City Big Wigs City Mayors and City Monkeys Clevor Democrats College Cubliugs Counterfeit Soldiers called Princes Corporation Pigs Corporation Apes Corporation Fussy Old Fools who dress like Buffoons Ceronetted Scoundrels Consecrated Whitewashers Coffee-colored Barbarians Corporatien Bullies in Uniform College Curs and Deaf Judges Corporation Cows Corporation Sow with lier six ears, thirty-six tits and one hundred aud twenty suckers Colonel Pacha Baker, the Convict Conyeried Prize-fighters Conyerted Thieyes Church Propounders of the Law and Gospel Chicken-hearted, Greedy, Grasping, Griping Old Hopocrites Chieken-hearted Volunteers Clerical Comedians and Ranting Actors Clerical Interlopers Clerical Apes Clerical and Cold-blooded Seducers Clerical Bigots Clerical Fanatics Clerical Policemen Clerical Jjiars and Poltroons Clerical Clerical Vigilance Informers Clergymen who sing like Angels, pray like Saints, aud he like Devils CIcrgymcM wlio, wlicn praying tor imscrable sinuers, keep looking at the Jbior ail the time Clergymen wiio laugli and weep at the same time Clerical W'olves who tear the skin of Foxes Craven, CVafiy, Clerical Culprits * Cents. Cjjifty Ranters 5 . Crookod-minded Bigots 5 Crowned Ruffians 5' Creepers, Crawlers 5^ Dimd 3 ' Do-notliings 5- D.iwdling, Lisping, Shallow-brained Human Drones J>ebased and Degraded Royal Blackguards 5>- Decayed I’oliticians and Worthless Well-dressed Brats 5 J)eceiving Preacliers 5 . Distinguished Transgressors 5 Dirt-eating, Bdl^’-crawling Hypocrites 5 Dignified Swells 5 > Disgusting Profligates 5^ Dominion Military Heroes, Half-Soldiers and Red River Warriors... 5 Dominion Spud Adjutants and Volunteer Colonels. 5- Dominion Empty-headed Military Noodles whose heads are filled with pride but void of brains 5 - Dominion would-be Aristocratic Barnabys 5 . Dominion Big and Little Bugs 5 - Dominion Barbarians ^ jominion Drill Instructc'-s with pendulous bellies, big heads, fat cheeks, oily aspect, swinish and lioggish 5 B'^miniou Warriors whose uniform hides their want of brains 5 Drawing-room Fops 5 Eloquent Scoundrels f) Emperorts, Kings, Queens, Princes, Nobles 5- Englishmen who lend money to the Tur ks and sta rve thj^oor Irish. & Empfy wl ... » L'. 5 - Empty-bellied, lean-shankea Workingmun 5 Fatted, Liiay Clerical Creatures b' Fashionable Christians 5- Fa,shioi):ible Sinners 5 - Fallen Preachers 5 - Fallen Swells 5 . Fashionable Ruffins 5 Fawning Fools 5- Fashionable Warrior? 5 Fat Prinees or Full-Blown Fools 5 Fat Parsons ^ Fawning Flatterer*. &■ Fashionable Sinners who subscribe money to convert the Heathen* who are not half so heathenish as themselves & Favored Dandies 5 - Fatted Lying Clerical Preachers 5- Feather Bed Soldier* and Butterfly Coloficls & First-okw Paupers » Fii'»t-elM* Criminal* 5 Fi*k/ AriitoeraU Fop* who think they are inestimable amongst the Ladies 5 Fops wlio are quizzed by the Ladies a»d don’t know it & Fops who depend on their Rothes, their rings, their cliains, their canes, us the only means of getting a belly-full 5' Fools, Drones aud Toadies 5 Fools, Knaves and Clowns 5 Fraudulent Tradesmen 5 - Gentlemen who believe their blood is very pure, and that when they go to Heaven they will not be called upon to associate with com- mon or vulgar people 5 - Genteel Paupers 5 . Gentlemen who have lost their Reputation 5 Generals who are mere puppets in the bauds of a few ignorant upstarts 5 German Princes who are sheltered and screened behind the Queen’s Petticoats 5 . Gaping Blockheads 5 - Government Bribe Takers {> Government Old Clothes Stool Pigeons 5 Gouty German Pudding-pMed Princes 5 , Goggle-eyed, Low-leggod, Pot-bellied, Big-headed Ari.stocruts 5 Goggle-eyed, Apish Ilypocriwi^who are only half Monkey and half Tiger. 5 Government Miscreants 5 Gouty Dominion Adjutants 5 . Government Bribe Fathers 5 Gutter-blood Swells 5 . Greasy City Fathers 5 ^ Great Strong White Brutes who kick their poor wives with hobnailed boots 5 Grand Trunk Smellers.. 5 Great St, James Street Swells who are continually taking off their hats and bobbing their heads up and down to every lady who passes like Chinese Mandarins 5 Greasy Toad-eating Ranters 5 Grand Master of Orange Lodges and Fenian Generals 5 Half-witted Nobility 5 Haughty Jackasses who walk about Great St. James Street as if they had swallowed a broomstick 5 Hard-shell Baptists 5 Hardy Sons of Toil 5 Heartless Monsters in the Guise of Men 5 . Ileuvy-headod brninlesH Armtocrats Henry Ward Beecher and tlio Holy Saints from Brooklyn (tlie good man) who went nest hiding, put the baby to sleep, put her soul in leading strings, showed her the groom of her youth 5 Iligh-blood Swells 5 Higii-blood I’rinees, Nobles, Profligates, Luyatics, Idiots and Fools... 5 lligli-cluss Rowdies 5 High-born Fools 5 Cents. .... 5 .... 5 ... 5 .... 5 ... 5 .... 5 ... 5 ... 5 Jligh-cla.ss Out-door Paupers High and l^Iighty Personages Hiuh-born People Honest Bigots Holy Joe of the Steamship Prussian aud his Angels Honest Tories and Sham Radicals Hungry human l^ocnsts Huntington Roosters Human Ferrets, Manufactured Pcrjurer.s and Informers, also Sneak- ing Spies, who are smelling after Public Houses Human Vermin Idle Drones Idlers wlio arc determined never to work Idle, worthless Paupers, uicknamed Princes, Dukes, etc Ignorant Upstarts Immoral Men Imitation Soldiers Imaginary Snobs and Military Heroes Imported Titled Blackguards. Imported Titled Roughs Informers ami Would-be Tyrants Incompetent Judges . Incompetent Generals Imperious Barbarians Iron-plated Ranters who know no shame Joe’s Pain-Killer, good for body and soul; it will fiirlit its way tlirough steel, and as Joe is a famous doctor it will either kill or cure Joe Beef pays his Laborers twice as much as the Prince of AValos Joe pays one dollar per day and their grub, the Prince pays 2s and Is for Sunday, as the Prince thinks they should not eat so much as they do not work ackass Cnuntr}' Judges Judges who are above Public Opinion Kings, Lords and Clowns, also Niggers Kings and Sanctimonious Rogues Lazy Fat-sided Prelates Land Sharks Laborers and Loafers Lanter-jawed, Cold Water Ranters, wlio have been in and out of petticoats all their life Lazy Ari>tocrats Lecherous Divines Lazy Aristocrats who cannot work Legal Harpies Lecherous old Preachers Lunatics, Idiots and Fools Lunatic Priests... Loafcr.s and Street Corner Vermin Loutish Coi'DoraUon Snobs Makers of Law who are rich and thievish Magistrates who can neither read nor write Married Profligates Methodist Thicve.s who refuse to smoke a cigar Medical Rouglis Men who walk backward like crabs in the presence of Royalty Miserable Creatures wlio walk backward like crabs when presented to Lord Dufferin lUilitary Drones Jlilitary Grubbers Military Washerwomen, Colonels of the Soap Suds, wliose duty it is to keep the Dominion Volunteer Blankets from running awa 3 \... Middle-class Rogues Military Pimps Military Kecoraers who will stand no nonsense with lamishea Men and Women Military Poltroons -AI odd -Delecoives M ui ai i‘ui Li'ooij.>. i^ioral Religious Monsters Montreal Donkey Dragoons Montreal Seedy Swells Montreal Aristocratic Codgers I'lontreal Coxcombs Montreal Aristocratic Paupers Montreal Stool Pigeons Montreal Young Men’s Chri.stian A.ssociation Mouldy Old Englisli Judges with their Cauliflower Wigs Mudd^'-Brained Farmers 5 Mutton-Headed Scullions 5 Mule Contractors 5 Mu.shroom Colonels 5 Cents. 5 M cn's r> 5 Mild Lunatics. Newspaper Elnukeys Noble Jiiinatics Noble Tramps Noble Bastards ! Noodle-pated Ranters Officers and Non-Commi.ssioned Officer.s of the Montreal Y i Cliristian Association ; Oily-fongued, Putty-hcaded old Rocordcr.s; I Old Walking Cheese in Heavy Marchiim Order, so that one pound ; of it will turn out more Catiadian Riflemen tlian the Countrv’ can ! feed 1 Old Country AiTstocratic Adventurers ! Old Judges who sit listening to a ease blinking like Jackdaws ; Old Country Big Wigs and Cauliflower Judges ] Oily, Greasy, FaKsided old Recorders Oppressors of the Great Unwashed One-rior.«e Lawyers Old Ladies called Noble Lords Oily-tongued Hypocrites Officers who were never in Battle, except witli graveyard stones and Barbers’ Poles D. I. K. Riiie, who did not drink beer or wine, onl}* water and next morning went for the Bricklayer’s Daughter Royal Babies sent out from England . *** Royal Princes who support strumpets taken off the stag^with* the money wrung from the poor Royal Rakes Royal Toadies and Tuft Hunters Royal Dwarfs and Dead-heads Royal Loafers Royal Idiots Royal I^oodlos Royal Rascals . Royal Runaways Royal Nootlles . Rowdy Swells Roy li Bruts . , RogiU’.-, i'yrani.*?, ^i•ound^el8, Miscieunts Royal Humbugs Recor'Urs who arc blind with one eye, and won’t see with the otlier EeveronJ and Clerical Numbskulls, also ignorant Law Dispensers ^ Red Republicans Royal Monsters Royal Locusts Rogues in rags Rogues in good clothes Royal Bustards Royal Bee:gar? Koyal Rakes J^oyal Bummers Royal R.uitlings Pwyal Clowns with moon facc-^ Royal Crazy Captains willi eyes in ihcir stern Royal Posts Royal Dances Royal Chuckle-headed Idiots i^oyul loadies and Tuft Hunters Spanish Royal Bruts and Spanish Royal She Cat’s" 1 I Swells who cuimot see much further tlian tlie tips of their noses 5 Street Preachers supplied with a Bolli'-full of the Book of Bevelation 5 fiT the small sum of. 5 Stinkpot Warriors I Scandal Preachers and Holy Men of God.....*!!**"*. !!!!!!!!!!!!.*.'.*! 5- ! Scoundiels in broad-cloth, scented, and dressed to kill 5 j Small-fry Advocates, Swindlers and Tliimbie Riugers 5 j Small-trv round the City ' I Soap 8ud ColohcL with their Soft Soap Medal. 5 .Smi.ll-tVy I.awjcrs or Sharpers with a black boT to hoid'thrtai'l ,) ■ ol their gowns..... 0 ; SwelH who are not sufficiently big bred !.!!! !.’.!!! 5 i Scheming Lawyers Saintly, Sloppy. Slippery’ ULLops Scurvy’ Jjawyers Snobs of .Montreal Artificial Society !_!! Sham Radical? Small-fry Pudding-headed Montreal Lawyers !.!!!!!!!!! Swells who prefer lasting dishonor to poverty Slanderei's of tlie living as well as the dead Swells who get into debt Stupid, Insignificant J*uppies and Grand I’runk Nobodies Stuck up Religious A isitors with words of cliarity on their glib tongues but no charity in their licavts Small-fry Lawyers who swarm about the City like flies on *a heap 'of iiiaiiurc. and get fat on roguery Swells wlio live williout fortune, profession or business Slanderers of Dumb AnimuR Sleek-faced, Ranting, Canting Pretenders Solid Saints and Spotted Puritans Siuiday' School Bouncers IT'EEI> Oily-tongued, Flint-hearted Parsons .i Old, Toothle.ss, Gouty Generals .. :> j Offsprings of the Great Unwashed .0 ! Poor People who have been swindled by Small-fry Lawyers 5 • Parson.s, Fools and Parish Rogues 6 : Petty Parsons 0 ; Parsons, Priests and Parrots 0 , People who trust their money to rotten Institutions 5 Proven Profligates 0 1 Princes who preter pig sticking to figliting * Poor people who are obliged to be submissive to tlie Press, Pulpit and i Police . :i | I^rinces and Brutalized Buffoons fi i Perambulating Tailors with heads on them like Clialk Rabbits 5 ; Private rooms for Informers and would-be Tyrants A 1 Policemen who kick Women, knock Children about, smash poor ; People's lieads, take up Sober People, and swear thev were drunk j next day 5 1 Pious Men ;> ' Perfumed Dandies J o ^ Puffy, Turtle Soup Devouring Aldermen 5 • Poor Men who live by honest labor a | Poor Noodles who arc called Kings 5 i Puppets who live in idleness, laziness and at the Poor’s expense 5 ] Puddle-headed Pacific Railway i’oliticians 5 I Press Reporters with long hair who can supply regiments I’riucely Cadgers and Sturdy Beggars Princes or Gilt Gingerbread Dummies......... Princes and Russian Doll.'^ Poor People made in tlie likeness of God, and equal iu the sight of God to either King or Queen Prayerful Men Perfumed Dunces pale-faced. Saintly-looking Hypocrites Pig-sticking Princes Prie.sts, Parsons, Saints, and Sinners Public Thieves Princes who made Buffoons of themselves Pious, Psalm-singing Rogues J’rofessional Hypocrites I’cople who liuve to remain unconverted in wet weaflicr when the Parson has no umbrella Rambling Preachers Ranters aud the Devil’s Disciples Ranters and Disturbers of tlie Public Peace Ranters who are only wolves in sheep's clothing Ranters who live by fraud, imposition and hypocrisy Ranters who preach morality and practice swindling Ranters with backs like flour-barrels, comfortable .stomachs, substan- tial calves and bruwney shoulders Rank Royalists Ranters who lick, crawl, lie, howl, and whelp at tlie same time Reformed Tipplers Reformed Rum-sellers..., Recognized Rogues Reckless and Roguish Adventurers Recorders, Recorder’s Clerks, Perjurers Respectable, God-fearing, Cliurch-going Teu Dealers Religious Snobs Respectable Hypocrites wlio cheat and rob the people six days, and go to church on the seventh Recorders with cocked huts, and decked in their corporation trumpery robes of office Respectable Grocers w'bo put sand in their sugar Recorders who are as ignorant as Spanish Mules Reporters of Weights and Measures Respectable Rascals in broad-cloth Religious Lunatics who are to have an Asylum in Heaven Religious Frauds Religious Roobies Real Soldiers Rich, Great and Infamous People Rich and Privileged Vagabonds. “ Temiioranoo Pro, ackers wlio neither drink beer, wine or water, but "o tiir ilic poor Bricklayer's daughter 5 Temp ■Vance Preacliers who can about cleansing any "rest City of Sin, and then go asking some poor young iiiaiilen for her little The Brooklyn Holy Bam tliat wants to keep the Man’s Wife at home and send the husband to convert the .Jews in Jerusiileni 'fitli'il or Worthless Knaves Tlie Jmrd’.s Anointed Kings Thieves with brass buttons Tenrlcr Kids of Plymouth Cimrch - Tiger-hunting Princes Tea Kittle Purgeas Tract Ifi>tribiitors llie Gieat Unwa.-shed, liic Working jieople, the Unberdrod people, tlie A ulgai people, the people who cannot lake care of themselves but rccjuire John and Jtihn’s Son and every other loafing, rantin*:; Son a Gun to take care of them ” Tiger-hearted Kanfiers and Renegade Turneoa-ts Two-legged Hawks who prey on the Poor Teetotal Drunkards Tin Pot Aristocrats Thick-skulled Jteportcr.'^ Two-legged Animals culled Bummers !!!!!!!!!!!! Tiger-hunting Princes . . The Poor People, or wliat tlie London Times calls them, “ the Scum ; ” or, as Lord Macaulay calls them, the Vermin of the Earth” . J he Prince of Heaven and the Prince of WLdcs Three-tailed Swells UngoJly Meu like Joe Beef Ulii.uCoict.1 li Uneducated Ruffians Uneducated and lliick-.slculicd Rustics !!!!. Volunteer Monkeys with red coats and cocked hats Vulgar Evil Doers Vile-tongued, Flint-hearted Ifiir.sons Volunteer Coffee, three cents per bowl; there is no milk in this coffee and very little sugar Volunteer Cnlonels, who know ns much about soldiering as a pi n . rt> p P- a. o v; d j'ojEm cfj!LJsrrr':HSMSJsr. Come all ye roystering blades that dwell in gay old Montre.al, And listen, while to you I’ll tell what chanced me to betal ; For once, like you, I used to bum, and tight was often seeu, And drank my whiskey, beer and rum, at old Joe Beef’s Canteen. (Chorus:) For T liave travelled east and west, I ut none that could at all compare, And many siglits I've seen. | R Hoys, witli Joe Jteef’s Canteen ! Vlu'le money lasts he’ll lure you on, with sweet and honeyed smile ; But when its gone your race is run to hell for many a mile ; He’ll tell you then before you’d think (for he’s a cute old 1ml.) “ Your clothes don’t fit — your feet they stink !” ’twould make a preacher mad ! “ Drink less of beer ; secure each night your ten cents’ worth of sleep — If not, register at the Hotel which Mr. Lumber keeps ! Your supplications he won’t mind — as well plead to his cub— And if you blarney much you’ll find he’ll smash you with his club ! At Joe’s Canteen you’ll find three bears, some parrots and an owl. ' An eight-legged l.amb, and human skulls — ’twould make a mad- man howl. He’s trying hard, now, to collect a gh.astly museum Of victim's skulls who croaked their last by drinking of his old rum. On Sunday Joe Beef turns a saint, and helps them sing and pray. And converts hums that through the week he’s helped to lead astray If Satan — just to try his luck — his net were to let fall, I have no doubt but he’d scoop up, Joe Beef, Canteen and all ! My shirt-tails fluttered out behind, ray boots were out at toes, And I was steeped up to ray ears in miseries and woes ; l\Iy children toddled round in rags, my wife grew poor and lean ; ’Twas all because I patronized, each night, Joe Beef’s Canteen ! Now, boys, pr.ay warning take by me — no longer be Joe’s dupe. And spend your time in getting drunk atid eating five-cont soup ; For he’s sure to get what cash you’ve got, your hat, your boots and clothes Your character, and the devil knows what, at that Canteen of Joe’s Pat Hooligan. Late in the month of March, 1878, D. E. K. Byne did begin to clean Stratford, that great city of Sin, He caught a young girl by the breast — Fathers and Mothers, Sisters and Brothers, you may guess the rest ! He then seized her by the arm, he felt her young blood warm ; He took her to the looking-glass, and gazed upon the Stratford Lass. With fright, the child was nearly detal, When be was dragging lier on the bod 1 Still he is ready to begin to cleanse Strat- ford, Bedford, or Montreal, that great city of Sin. Whilst in his bed-room till 10 o'clock basking. He will be asking some other poor young girl for her pin. THE EVANGELIST WANTS THE POOR HUNGRY MAN TO PRAY, AND WHAT THE POOR HUNGRY MAN DID SAY. biv. save tie : In~fhat Church or that Bible you r.'jver trusted' VVith good old roast aud port the buttons of your coat !>re getting bursted. You are fat ,und strong. Your hair is long. My feet are sore. My pants are tore. My knees are bended witk cold and hunger. My days are nearly ended. List week in the Young Men’s Chri.stian A-isociation Hemling Itoom f prayed early, I prayed late. I wore out ray kneecaps until tnv back stuck to tlie seat, .and all 1 got was tracts for to eat. Here I •am a poor Nayie that is starving whilst Bishops, Prie.sts, nud puddiug'headed Parsons tlieir roast beef ami turkeys ai'c carving. On the Railroads they call me “Black Bill.” If I liad only five cents I could hold up my head instead of a Soe . Kitchen tu; face getting red. I could go down amongst God’s own people. I could sit and eat tnv fill iu Joe Be.if’s Canteen at tlie h.ittmu of the hill. ■yi CJ r-| CJ CJ r-; 4-> UU G bX) G CJ 0 03 u 03 o3 CJ C 03 'J S y) 03 u CJ . -H 'C G CJ < tL c 'O c c £ cd ♦ —V -Q H-] ' 0 o c V o H rd V o ^ CJ -a c c CJ ^ CJ 'V u, o t/1 o u c/: o £ o V -o o CJ u CJ & o ns' u 15 u. Xi CJ CJ u lA S CJ > n bjQ G CJ