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 KING (William) 1685-1763. 
 
 5022. The Toast. An Heroick Poem in 
 four Books, written originally in Latin, by 
 Frederick Scheffer : now done into English, 
 and illustrated with Notes and Observations, 
 by Peregrine ODonald . . . 4 0 . Dublin pr., 
 Lond. reprinted , 1747. 
 
 With frontispiece. 
 
 By Wm. King, D.C.L., principal of St. Mary’s 
 Hall, Oxford. Thinking himself injured in a law¬ 
 suit, he attacked his enemies in this mock-heroic 
 poem, first published at Dublin, 1732, and (the 
 4 bks.) London, 1736. Swift, after seeing the MS., 
 declared that if he had read it when he was twenty, 
 he would never have written a satire. In his old 
 age King regretted many passages, and at his death 
 
 the remaining copies were burnt. (D. N. B.l 
 
 rw. o.i v ’ 
 
 
314 [KING (Dr. William)] The Toast. An Heroick Poem in four Books, 
 Written originally in Latin, by Frederick Scheffer : Now done into English, and illustrated 
 with Notes and Observations, by Peregrine Odonald Esq. 4 to, frontispiece by Gravelot 
 contemporary half red morocco, the back gilt in panels with comer and festoon centre 
 tools. /4 10 0 6 
 
 * ^ work of excessive rarity which was never published, and only sixty copies were ever 
 
 circulated, the remainder being destroyed at the author’s request. Dr. King, who became 
 Principal of St. Mary’s Hall, Oxford, considered he was injured in a law suit, and the chief 
 personage in this satire is “ Mira ” representing the Countess of Newburgh, who had secretly 
 married the author’s uncle, Sir Thomas Smyth. The work is dedicated to Swift under the 
 name of Cadenus. In his old age King regretted the writing of the many passages which 
 are, as a rule, almost disgusting. No other copy is known to have appeared for sale for the 
 last twenty-seven years. 
 
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 the 
 
 fytJUi Jli- 
 
 S T. 
 
 A N 
 
 HEROICK POEM 
 
 In four Books, 
 
 Written originally in Latin, 
 
 B Y 
 
 FREDERICK SCHEFFER: 
 
 Now done into Englifh, and illuflrated with Notes 
 
 and Obfervations, 
 
 B Y 
 
 PEREGRINE ODONALD Efq; 
 
 Si quis erat dignus defcribi, quod Malus, aut Fur, 
 $uod Moechus foref, aut Sicarius, aut alioqui 
 Famosus; mult a cum libertate notabant. Hor. 
 
 DUBLIN: Printed. 
 
 LONDON: Reprinted in the Year MdccxiiVii. 
 
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FREDERICI SCHEFF.ERI 
 
 EPISTOLA 
 
 A D 
 
 CADENUM. 
 
 S EMPER cultetnihi , fentper , CADENE , colende ; 
 
 0 decus & pair id? tutamen ! Crimma , curas , 
 Atque hominum mores, & quicquid pulpita damnant , 
 nunc tu melius traSlas irrifor acerbus , 
 
 Phcebi Jlimulis ignefcens fundis Iamb os , <5 
 
 SPELL Ah laudes recitas & a?nabile carmen: 
 
 Si locus ejl interpellandi , barbarus audet 
 Ire falutatum , veniamque expofcere nugis ! 
 
 Nee Mufa ojfendat , quod non limatior: aures 
 For Jit an & vejlras rerum novitate moretur. 10 
 
 mirere , quis hie novus impetus irte> 
 
 Aut cur matronas & JiSlos carmine SCHEFFER 
 Luferit heroas , c&r/ mens ignara nocendi ; 
 
 Prompt ins expediam. Si quern mala faga veneno , 
 y&r/ tollat ftcarius , fugit j annon j 5 
 
 Profcribunt Reges , queis ulla ejl cur a popelliP 
 Sic mea proferipfit (fuerit feu VOLLUS iniquus , 
 
 A 2 
 

 
 ■ 
 
 If 1 
 
 Seu MIRA inf amis* feuturba venefca Ml RM-, 
 
 Et moechi & Tribales, qui vatem life fatigant , 
 Infidiisque pet tint) inimicum pagina nomen. 20 
 
 JSfec we commont) quod rhythmica carmina damnet 
 PERSEUS ifte faber, cut mens &? crajfa Minerva 
 Nec callere fales dederant , nee feire Latine. 
 guis, bene qui novit PERSEI infdiasque dolosque , 
 Temper et a fatyraf Regis fe JaElat in aula\ 25 
 
 Ingenioque opifex alieno vivere doEtus , 
 guas non edidicit , fibi PERSEUS arrogat artes : 
 Cut res , &* titulus , fama labore 
 
 Pauperis heu ! CASTE ELI ; tfc bis milk Senatus 
 
 35 
 
 Decernit , dftgw quota pars donatur amico > 
 
 Omnia qui fecit , folusque meretur honorem ! 
 
 Sic vos non vobis ! Tantis fucceflibus auEium 
 Haud alias equitem puduit componere fraudes , 
 
 £/ quibus ipfe optat ditefeere : captat avari 
 Tefiamenta fenis , w/ denique fubjicit ; £§? /p* 
 
 Nomine vix MARTI notus, nunc feribitur hezres. 
 Nec bona fuffeiunt , quee poffidet omnia , MARTIS: 
 Quas MARS vendiderat terras , dona propinquis 
 
 Aut miferis dederat fervis y hie cunEla repofeit. 
 famque cedes vejlras , Camoence^ 
 
 Impius invadit KENANNO milite cinElus ; 
 
 Et famulos nojlrosque Lares deturbat inermes. 
 
 In jus judiciumque voco: defenders caufam, 
 
 40 
 
 
V 
 
 E P I S T O L A. 
 
 £$uos Jtbi MIRA par at, conduSlis tefibus audet 
 Munitus ; feelere atque fcelus firmare nefandum. 4y 
 
 'Tunc VOLLI exemplo monitus , fervare recentem 
 ^ua ratione queat preedam , raptoque potiri , 
 
 Provocat tile deos , juratque in verba fuorum , 
 
 “ Cogere vi nulla, nulla ipfutn inferre Latinis 
 u Arma, nec invitos veteres migrajfe colonos. qo 
 
 Lucra pudenda avidus decerpit PERSEUS ex re 
 ^ualibet: extent am nervos venalis adulter 
 Patricias JeElatur anus , MIRAMque falacem 
 Turpis init: nunquam MIRAE fatiata libido: 
 
 Mille etenim toties reparato robore poffet q q 
 
 Exhaurire viros , totamque vorare cohortem. 
 
 S$uin TRAULI quajfans le 5 lum 0 nec viribus impar 
 Balbe tuis CLOD I, tibi nec, REG 1 LLE, fecundus, 
 A LITIS extortum refupince corpore corpus 
 Corrigit', biformis dum fejnivir urget anhelum , 60 
 
 Rivalique fuo lenonia dextera fervit . 
 
 Prcemia quee folvi pro tanto digna labore 
 Pojfe putes equitif D at TURK monilia, gemmas", 
 
 Infuper & nummos : uxorcula ccetera mittit, 
 
 Callidaque affatu palpat Judcea maritum: 6 q 
 
 fa?nque domum & 1 moecho S*organa pr<ebet agellum . 
 MaSle ejlo virtute! tibi olim MIRA parabit. 
 
 Res quibus ampla domi, leBifima corpora matrum, 
 Concubitus faciles, PERSEU, & Danaes Hymenaos. 
 
 Alter 
 
vi E P I S T o L A. 
 
 Alter erit tunc TRAUL US, &altera, quce tibi campum 
 Delirante viro donabit moecha; nec uni, 7 1 
 
 Si magici cantus valeant, diElaberis hceres. 
 
 ^uinetiam excrucier, Ji MIRAL fautor tneptus 
 Nos infeBatur CAC US, blateratque furitque, 
 
 AnnagerensPE RSElfratris mentemquelocumque? 75 
 Vel quia de vetulis gufiavit, & ALES obefas 
 Auresque & fauces permulfit ; vel quia flexus 
 Infdiis VOLLI fElas firmare tabellas 
 Tent at lite nova, & > , quce olun damwverat ipfe , 
 
 MI RAC I DU Mfibi emit perjuria cunElafuamque 80 
 Legatis inhians nunc famam venditat affe. 
 
 Sfuid quod & ipfe domi plaudat fibi, juraque temnat, 
 Dmniaque mvolvat fumo caligine cceca, 
 
 Elerculeceque manus defintf male part a tropcea 
 Attamen baud impune feret: juravimus omnes 85 
 Sic Phoebi vates\ et, nofiri fiquid Iambi, 
 
 Semper, CACE, tuum nomen fraudesque manebunt. 
 
 Me quoque tu cornu pet is, 0 impure Sacerdos; 
 
 Et tibi funt odio mea carmina. Sed quis amicus 
 
 Fortunis nofiris adjit, fi, peffime, vati 
 
 Terr or em incut ias? Tibi enim nec corporis effe, 
 
 Nec mentis fanum donatur: vox quoque PAMMUM 
 Jpfa fugit: fagce PA M MI tetigere prior a. 
 Nequicquam coelum mutas \ nec profit adire 
 Borbonios fontes: nequeunt extinguere virus , 9 j 
 
 Pefiiferos' 
 
Vll 
 
 EPISTOLA. 
 
 Pejliferosque ignes, irati munera Amoris\ 
 
 Pumila dum fbi te Frokina inamabilis ALES 
 Alligat , & moechum jcedifjima MIRA coercet, 
 
 Tali digna viro !—Sed & hie verfatur in aula \ 
 
 Nec cajlum fimulat. Vidi , puduitque videre , ioo 
 
 P A MMU M inter Reges noftros, proceresque fedentem , 
 Sacratosque patres, dantem jura popello. 
 
 Heu! quem reSlorem terris dicamus inejfe f 
 Cum verfum fas atque nefas: cum turpis adulter 
 Ornatas teneat fedes, delubra Deorum ioj 
 
 Ditia, fplendenti redimitus tempora mitrd ; 
 
 Et, pretium feeler is, vel fumma altaria fperet. 
 
 Sic pietas , fic prifea fides , patriique Penates 
 Ritibus (infanduml) cedunt, furtisque Priapi. 
 
 At mihi quid tecum eft f aut cur,indoSle Magijler 11 o 
 OTTOR, aves ms & nojlras lacerare Camcenas f 
 Cur mea (namque emi) MAR S, te monitore , requirit 
 Prcedia t cur PERSEUS, CACUSq\,atq\ ignipotens VOL , 
 Cur MI RA hrec eadem f cur addis fpemque animumque 
 Furibus, rabidce faga pus atque venenum, 11 5 
 
 Ipfe idem hortator litis , judexque futurus f 
 Afperius nihil eft humili. De plebe fenator 
 Si quis erit ; fi quis miferis futoribus ortus 
 Incedat judex, tendatque urbanus haberi , 
 
 Et generofum mentiri ; tamen ufque recurrent 12 o 
 Barbariesque domus , moresque animique paterni. 
 
 ^uin 
 
f 
 
 viii EPISTOL A. 
 
 Quin faveant proceres ; nos cater a turba Poet a 
 Donandum phaleris tumidum ridemus afellum , 
 
 Qui Baldos fimulat , do£toratu^«f fuperbit. 
 
 Horum alios Jimiles , qui verbis bella lacejfunt, 125 
 Semiviro quos una facit mala caufa Jodales , 
 
 Preetereo 3 fed quos olim memorare licebit. 
 
 Nam neque I HR A S ONEM femper patiemur inulti , 
 Nec fraudeS) OLLARDE , tuas<> necfeeder a FUNGI. 
 Garrulus ipfe etiam cirratus Homuncio totd , 130 
 
 ra//V inops mentis , cantabitur urbe. 
 
 Hie quoque , qui favo MARI I fua crimina fuaft , 
 Semivirumque malas docuit qui jure tueri 
 jfurando lites , perjuria callida diElans , 
 
 ONDILLUS nojlro jam carmine nomen habebit . 135 
 
 £/ tu, qui MIR AH vocemque artemque locafii> 
 Ejfundis rapido qui dimidiata palato 
 Inter verba fecans, tituloque togaque fuperbus , 
 
 0 MELESINE , meas nunc experiere Camcenas. 
 
 Et fatya tu dignus^ hie ; quifquis inique 140 
 Vellicet ignotos , w/* fufeitet hofes. 
 
 Nec firepitus , ingentia nomina terrent. 
 
 Acrior opprobriis infenfos Mufa notabit 
 MI RAC I DA S: fint qui legionibus imperitarint ; 
 
 exprocerum numero; fit Epifcopus idem ; 145 
 cui cceruleus titulus per colla pependit. 
 
 Eft tener mollis^ fed &* arcum tendit Apollo \ 
 
 Et 
 
IX 
 
 E P I S T O L A. 
 
 Et fcelera ulfcifci Di concejfere Poetis. 
 
 Quod lex non potuit, verfus facit. Adfuit ultro 
 Calliope : Si, jam rapuit quas femivir atrox, 
 
 Hand revocavit opes, at cacos reppulit iBus, 
 Ingenioque rudi feeler at a r edarguit arma. 
 
 Ecce meo, nequicquam alios fpoliare parata, 
 
 Moechari juvenes, cajlas violare puellas., 
 
 Carmine viBa cadit, telluris pejlis Iernx, 
 
 Androgyne furibunda,, & crimine turpior omni. 150 
 ft fpe™ contra noftram, Jludiumque refur gat, 
 Suggerat ftP ww, MIRPEglJE Megxra petenti 
 Se infinuet ; yk# revocet perjuria, ///^ 
 
 Et percuffores mcechos; Ji toxica mitt at, 
 
 Tres quibus extulerat miferos mala fuga maritos j ^55 
 ‘Tunc adfs, CA DENE, favens! ac veftra meas res 
 (Gratior hand ulla eft) commendet epiftola Phcebo : 
 llle fuum vatem, ille tuum fervabit amicum. 
 
 Nec petulans uxor TRAULI impunitior exit 
 Poftica toties conata lacejfere fauna ] 6 0 
 
 Nos, &*, qua potuit, tetro noftra ore venenans . 
 
 Namque invita meos, ne fit perfeSla voluptas, 
 erficulos memorat, vetitos dum fuccuba tentat 
 Concubitus, corpufque novos ejfingit in ufus : 
 
 Inque dtes perculfa vovet, femperque vovebit . 165 
 SCHEFFERIDA S Mufas, jam jam major a movent es, 
 Et fatyra fruftra cupiat prcenofcere finem . 
 
 a 
 
 Res 
 
x EPISrOLA. 
 
 Res quoque qui primutn potuit confundere noftras, 
 
 Et verfare dolos , blandum mentitus amicum, 
 
 Palleret ; fi ulla pojfet pallefcere culpa ; 170 
 
 Cum VOL, VOL toties digit0 monjlretur euntis , 
 Ludibriumque Eblan#, & late fabula fiat. 
 
 Nec fine nomine eris } ne me afipernere canentem , 
 PAMMEy tuum vatem : parvo fi tinBa lepore , 
 TinBa Lycambeo nimium mea fanguine tela 175 
 
 Criminibus veftris portendmit carmina pcenas. 
 
 Atque erit ille dies , cum diBent plura Camcenat, 
 
 Et nos vel melius doceant tua pandere fiaBa ; 
 
 Tunc cum grandcevum te purpura tertia velet. 
 
 Eorfian & ipfia fuam tollat Comcedia vocem , 180 
 
 Semivirique lupanar , & A LITIS antra recludat, 
 Vefirasy PAMME , domos ; ac , qui nunc audis adultery 
 HORTATOR ficelerumy preecepta libidinis addes , 
 
 Et mcechos mcechis, fiagis leno malignis 
 Mificebis Tribadasy & permificeberis illis. 185 
 
 Tunc quoquey fit Venerem peteret tua MIRA nefiandam y 
 JEmula Pafiphaes • (quin eft furiofior illdy 
 Atque optat majora pati) tu D&dalus alter 
 En erhy longos tandem fiatiabis amores. 
 
 Hduam neque Lesbiadesy nec multi mi lit is ardor, 190 
 
 Non centum domuere anni, non mille Priapi , 
 
 Tu 
 
E P I S T O L A. 
 
 XI 
 
 Tu poteris, foilers facilem fguram, 
 
 Et vetulam immanent mcech'ts ajfuefcere tauris. 
 
 Non indigna cano. Debentur maxima MIRM\ 
 Maxima monJlriferi,Jludium quos cogerePAMMO, 195 
 Taurorum, & 1 tribadum, furumque, Deumque malorum 
 Me ccetus pofcunt; & me fecere poetam. 
 
 Quin nullarn fatyr<e ponam legemque modumque ; 
 
 Per populos donee volitet mea fama Britannos, 
 Efpciamque, viris ut quis dignofeere poffit 200 
 
 MIR ACID AS ; ut, quo me duxerat heul malus errors 
 Tutus ab infidiis jam fpeSlet lujlra per arum. 
 
 At non cunSla tamen voluit fibi Mufa licere : 
 
 Nee jiSlis aufa eft quenquam incufare querelis, 
 
 Nec genus innocuum Jlrinxit, fruitura jocandi 205 
 Scevitid. Semper maneant fua nomina cajlis, 
 IntaSlceque domus ! Nec belli queer ere caufas , 
 
 Lcedere nec fas Jit, qui non Ices ere priores. 
 
 a 2 
 
 NOT M 
 

 T M. 
 
 * "• • 
 
 Xll 
 
 N O 
 
 C UM Epijlolam SCHEFFERI ex Latino fermone 
 in linguam vernaculam non fatis digne poteram 
 vertere, earn tamen operi meo decrevi preefationem 
 dare. Sic enim rebus meis agundis quod foelix fau- 
 fiumque ejfet, me prcefari cenfebam ', Jiquid mihi ad 
 gloriam ingenium SCHEFFERI valeat, fiquid vene- 
 rabile CA DENI ?iomen. Adhibit is autem, qu<e fe- 
 
 quuntur, explanationibus, carte de exteris bene meri- 
 tus fum, qui produxi in eorum profpeBum turn nobiles, 
 fum obfcuriores hujus Satyr a perfonas \ bene etiam de 
 popularibus meis, quia nefariee MIRACIDUMgenti 
 & ipfe inujfi quafdam ignominice notas. 
 
 P. O. D. 
 
 Ver. i. Semper cube mihi, femper, CA DENE, 
 
 colende, &c. 
 
 Cad EM us. J. Swift S.T. P. S. P.D.D.fui feculi deliciae, nee tam 
 patriae, quam humani generis decus. Si virtutes illius contemplemur, nemini fe- 
 cundus; fi divinum mentis ingenium, omnibus major. Cujus humanitatem, elo- 
 quentiam & eruditionem merito colebat Schefferus nofter. Tales ehim 
 erant, quales fub Augufto principes viri, & ipfi in omni liberali dofirina politiflimi, in 
 fuis literatis diligenter coluerant. Linguam Anglicanam ufque ad faftigium venuftatis 
 provexit; & felicifiimis numeris lufit poeta. Quippe Cadeni fpiritum, vim, 
 & carminum fuavitatem vel Flacei curiofa ambitio fibi adoptaret. Sale face- 
 tiisque Attico lepore tin&is facile fuperabat omnes. Sed & in feriptis fuis utile dulci 
 fcmper permifeuit; nec placere magis inftituit, quam patriae prodefle. Hanc co- 
 
 loniam 
 
N 0 T A i. 
 
 Xlil 
 
 foniam femel iterumque in libertatem vindicavit, in aeternum vindicaturus, bona 
 fi fua norint coloni. 
 
 Ver. 17. Sic mea prefer ip fit, fuerit feuVOLLUS iniquus . 
 
 Vollus, Volcanus, five Vol Dublin ensis, legirupa b improbus ve- 
 terator. Peculatus olim damnatus erat. Nunc autem peregrinis & advenis in- 
 fidias collocat. Quin etiam b fuis obvertit cornua, & erga arnicas malus eft ; fi in- 
 gentis fceleris exequendi occafionem capiat. Leno impurus eft, & libidinofus fe- 
 nex, qui fornices b undlas popinas habitat fcorto diobolari contentus. Ex mce- 
 chis & miniftris MiRiE nequiflimus ; qui primus omnium vati noftro dolos rao- 
 litus eft ; & ne quid fufpeflum foret, amicitiam fimulavit. Nullos in orbe 
 Deos efle credidit; quare b artifex b inftin&or omnium flagitiorum vel Stygias 
 undas de afle pejeraret. Celebrem ignominiae locum obtinuit in Schefferi 
 fatyrico, quem b poft mortem haud dubitandum eft quin diu poftldeat.. 
 
 Ver. 18. Seu MIRA inf amis, &c. 
 
 Turpiflima anus b venefica, quae nobilem familiam, ex qua orta eft in An¬ 
 glia, vitiis fuis inquinavit. A prima adolefcentia proftratae erat pudicitiae, ne- 
 que unquam corpori aut famse pepercit. Tres illi fuerant viri, fed iftorum im- 
 potentia aut fua falacitas mille adulteros in auxilium vocavit. Marti Schef- 
 fereo noviflime nupfit: b tunc cum cornicis vetulae habuit annos, habuit & 
 ingenium b falacitatem caprse. Peregrinis & extraneis omnibus fefe ultro obtu- 
 lit: peregrina enim libidine ufque ad furorem flagrabat, & jam flagrat. In extre¬ 
 ma etiam plebe faepius quaerebat, quod amaret, hiftrionibus, le&icariis, gregariis 
 militibus & fervis fuccumbens. Schefferum, ut aiunt, olim deperibat; fed 
 amplexus petenti eopiam fui corporis denegavit caftiifimus poeta. Et quisvel minus 
 caftus fordibus caleret, aut voluptatem quaereret in*cloaca ? Jam vero fpretae injuria 
 formae vehementer excanduit ; & nihil reliquit intentatum, quo vel famae vel for- 
 tunis Schefferi noceret. Neque caruit fucceflu. A dhibitis enim mercenarily 
 teftibus, b ipsa b moechorum turba ampliter pejerante, opibus ac terris poetam no- 
 ftrum fpoliavit. Ferrum autem b venenum jam ultra jpinitata in hanc fatyram 
 cum fociis fuis conjicitur, b mediocres perfolvit fceleris p^nas. 
 
 Haec eft ilia Mira, quam G. Granville vir nobilis olim celebravit eJegaii' 
 tiori quidem carmine, quam probo b liberali ingenio needle erat, tali feeminae 
 certe parum idoneo. Verum excufationem quandam habeant amatoria culti illius 
 poetae elegidia: quippe iftis temporibus vixit, cum probi b ingenui viri vel inter 
 philofophandum meretriciis artibus captari folebant. 
 
 * Ventrem anus bibacis Sc libidinofae Plautus dixit cloacam. 
 
 Ver. 22. P E RSEUS if e Faber, cut mens crajfa 
 
 Minerva, See. 
 
 Eques auratus, qui b architeflus regius : archite&us, fi ad aedes, quas extrux- 
 erat, fpedes, imperitus ; fi ad fcelera, peritiftmus. .Miles etiam, b Capitanei 
 titulo infignitus eft: fed b rei militaris b virtutis omnis expers. Mcechus autem 
 
 luit 
 
\ 
 
 N 0 T AL. 
 
 fuit ftrenuus ; 6c ftipendia in eo bello meruit, nequaquam laborans de estate con- 
 tubernalis. Trauli uxorculx diu fervivit, ita & fuis commodis. Siquid enim 
 peteret, nihil ab ifta negatum fuit; auro, argento, fundis quoque donatus • quibus 
 omnibus anicula emunxerat virum luum. Porro autem in veneficx Mir^e milita- 
 vit legione, & non line gloria; etiam geminata mercede. Alieni appetens 6c pro- 
 fufus mutuum argentum rogavit undique; nec folvendo erat. Cum nufquam inve- 
 niret mutuum, vim armorum adhibuit, & de bonis extraneorum prxdatus eft. Fuit 
 Scheffero inimicillimus; ac perfonam 6c Mavortis partes poll obitum bella^ 
 toris fuftinuit. Leges regni perrumpens irruit temere in poetx noftri poflefliones; 
 cujus domos ac terras fpoliavit. In jus vocatus nec ipfe pejerare erubuit, nec per- 
 juria fua confirmare alios falfos teftes adornando. Et jam novas inlidias, malas 
 lites, 6c pejeratiunculas meditantem corripuit Perseum morbus immedicabilis, 6c 
 fe ac bella fua ad Martem tranftulit. 
 
 Ver. 29. Pauperis heu CASTELL 1 , &c. 
 
 Castellus five Castles fuit architedon, cujus confilio, ftudio 6c labore 
 nixus Perseus xdificavit Senaculum Dublinenfe . Poftea vero, cum ampliffimis 
 & indebitis prxmiis a Senatu donatus fit, padam mercedem Castello denega- 
 vit, 
 
 Ver. 36. Nomine vix MAR'TI notus nunc fcribl 
 
 tur IP ceres. 
 
 Quidam erat miles, & Baronettus, quern fub Martis nomine diflimulavit poeta 
 & per totum fuum fatyricon lufit. Cum Marti firmior effet xtas, a 
 Mira vocatus eft ad coenam: ubi epoto amor is poculo veneficam coepit ardere^ 
 qu$e poftea ita callide eum omnibus fervavit modis, ut baud alibi moechiflaret. 
 Quin etiam, cum languidus elfet 6c infirmus fenex, ita ilium blandimentis ineretriciis 
 peflum dedit, ut putidiflimx vetulx nupferit, veteris adulterii jam inde luiturus 
 pmias. Quid enim improbo 6c infortunato viro erant hx nuptix, nil! in Bara 
 thrum navigatio ? ubi famam perdidit, & aliena, qux rapuit bona, 6c fua omnia. 
 Inde rixx, lites, pugnx; pax rursum; qux poetx noftro prxbuere occafionem 
 jocandi, 6c fatyrici fui argumenta haud injucunda. 
 
 Fuit Mars ifte Scheffero noftro quadam cognatione jundus. Nequiorem 
 vero hominem 6c magis ingratum nunquam vidi. Quippe cum res familiaris vel 
 ad neceffaria deeilet, & illi Scheffer mutuo appendiffet mille 6c quingentas li¬ 
 bras, fyngrapham fuam, per quam xs creditum erat. Mars abjuravit. Dein mo- 
 riens delirus fenex, aut in ipsa morte maleficus omnia fua bona, qux rapax vene- 
 £ca indigent! permiferat, fimul ac prxdia, qux poetx noftro quam optime olim 
 vendiderat, Mir^e (nunc iterum redintegrata pace) Perseo 6c Caco Volcani filiis 
 legavir. Ni, quod verifimillimum mihi videtur, falfum teftamentum eftet fup- 
 poLtum Mir^e incantamentis, 6c Persei Cacique fraudibus. Hoc enim mali 
 iul'l icatus eft Schefferus, qui Miracidum ftudia penitus cognovit. 
 
 2 
 
 Ver. 41. 
 
N 0 T AL. 
 
 xv 
 
 Ver. 41. 
 
 KEVANN 0 milite 
 
 cinEtus. 
 
 Kevanni, fuburbancm vulgus. Vide Not. ad V. 281. L. 1. 
 
 Ver. 5 6 . - totamque vorare cohortem. 
 
 MSS. Tir—oen. Totumque vorare Priapum] quod 6c alii magis probant • quippe 
 Mir^e cubiculum ornabant Priapi fimulachrum ingentis fpeciei, necnon 5 pidune 
 ab Aretino quodam invents, quae parieti affixae erant, 6c ita difpofitse, ut, fiquando 
 cundatio effet aut inopia moechorum Tribadumve, faltem oculos fuos venefica li- 
 bidine fatiaret. Hie P/mmus (de quo infra) divina fua quotidie faciebat. Ad- 
 junda cubiculo erat cellula (ubi concumbi folebat) fpeculata, ut quocunque inter 
 coitus Mira refpiceret, grati operis imago fibi referretur, atque ut hoc artificio 
 (quod fe primam omnium excogitafle jadabat) voluptates conduplicarentur. Haud 
 abfurde poeta dixit [Vorare] qui Miram in lib. 3. Charybdin vocat, i. e. me- 
 recricem voraciffimam. Tabs enim fuerat Charybdis • fed nec voracior noftra 
 Mira, quae inter tot adulteros ne unum quidem invenit, qui longo 6c repetito 
 certamine ipfam fatigaret, etiam tunc cum centum-viros ipfa fatigaflet. 
 
 Ver. 57. Qum TRAULI quaffans le&um. 
 
 Traulvs fuit maritus Alitis. 
 
 Ver. 5 9. ALIEIS ex tor turn refupince cor pore corpus^ &c> 
 
 Ale’s, Ali, Al, Alenissa, diverfa nomina, quibus poeta dixit uxorem 
 Trauli; aniculam, cui deforme corpus, & facies rugofior ficu aridl Fuca- 
 tus autem ejus nitor & incruftatio lippos 6c meretriciae artis ignaros multum 
 fefellit. Adultera erat inextindae libidinis 6c in horas crefcentis, cujus falacitas 
 varietate figurarum vel Mir,e inventa fuperare poffet. 
 
 Ales infenfa erat 6c inimiciffima Scheffero, quem profeindebat quotidianis 
 mendaciis 6c feediffimis convitiis. Fidis etiam probris amariffime accufavit per 
 literas in Britarmiam miflks. 
 
 Ver. 61. Rivalique fuo lenonia dexter a fervit . 
 
 Perseus hie appellate Rivalis Mir^e; quia Ales erat 8c adultera Perset, 
 8c bafiballum Mir^e, tribas fcilicet famofa • quam, cum moechorum copia abef- 
 fet, venefica folebat permolere more Lesbiadum, ut utraque hujufeemodi colluda- 
 tionibus incenfa ad virorum coitus 6c folidam voluptatem fortius reverteretur. 
 
 Ver. 6y, 
 
XVI 
 
 NO T M, 
 
 Ver. 63. 
 
 Infuper & 1 nummos . 
 
 dat anus monilia , gemmas , 
 
 Anus i. c. Mira qux argentum quoquo modo mutuata eft, rogavit, corra 1 , 
 rapuit • ’ ut haberet unde mcechos, tribades, caufidicos, lenones, ficarios, Pammos 
 Vollos ,* Cacos , & iftiufmodi generis homines ad fua commoda compararet. 
 
 Ver. 6 y Callidaque affatu palp at Judaea marttum . 
 
 Trauli fcilicet uxor, qux Judaa erat gente. Blandimentis, & quotidianis, 
 quos commenta eft, dolis, Mir^e infuper veneficiis adjuta, fuo arbitratu ludihcata 
 eft Traulum, ita collide, ut nunquam fe ludos fieri fentiret. Quam malence au- 
 tem & fycophantiose agit, dum conquifitos undique mcechos, & viri fui emptos 
 peculio, mensa, te&o, thalamo recipit, vel tonforibus omnibus, oenopolis, Sc onto- 
 ribus notum eft. 
 
 Ver. 66. Jamque domum & mcecho S^organa pr£- 
 bet agellum. 
 
 S*organa eft villa Trauli, ubi contiguas aides & modum agri Perseus ha- 
 buit, quae jam pridem munera Traulus donaverat, gratiam & voluntatem ma- 
 riti conciliante adult era. 
 
 Ver. 71.- nec uni 
 
 Si magici cantus valeant , diftaberis hceres. 
 
 Alludit poeta ad teftamentum Martis. 
 
 Ver. 74. Nos inf eft at ur CACUS , blateratque furitque. 
 
 Perseo & Perse i malitiae fuit fucceffor Cacus (hoc enim nomen illi in- 
 ditum erat ad opprobrium vitae) quern nominis causa Vol pro filio fibi adoptavit, 
 6c fuas fallacias docuit. Minifterium Mir je fubiit infandum, ac fraudes 6c male- 
 ficia veneficae multum juvit. Dives erat nummis 6c agris, verum inops 6c infta- 
 bilis animi, de fuis identidera ac fociorum fceleribus paulo infirmius dubitantis. 
 •Belli igitur judicium blanditiis fagae 6c praeceptis Volcani facile permilit, addudtus 
 fpe praedae, ad quam Mira propofuit bona & fortunas poetae noftri. 
 
 Ver. 79.- quce olim damnaverat ipfe. 
 
 Veneficia Mir.e & falfas lites, quas rapax faga & fuus Perseus in Scheffe- 
 rum intendebant, olim improbafle Cacus traditur, neque ante obitum Persei 
 peccafle vel aperto fcelere vel nimia ineptia. 
 
 2 “ Ver. 83. 
 
N 0 T M 
 
 XVll 
 
 Ver. 83. Omniaque invohat fumo & caligine ceecd^ 
 
 Herculeceque manus dejint. 
 
 Vide fabulam Caci JEndd. lib. 3. qui ab Hercule occifus erat. Metiphorice Klc 
 
 poeta dixit fumo caligine cceca , i. e. firaudibus, infidiis aut artificiis, quibus diu cu U 
 parp fuam prxtexuerat Hibernicus Cacus. 
 
 Ver. 8 6.- nojlri Ji quid Iambi . 
 
 Haec intelligas die Schefferi comcedia, ubi Caci flagitia & officia apertiffime 
 planiiStneque dilatantur, & explicantur. 
 
 Ver. 88. Me quoque tu cornu pet is, 0 infulfe Sacer- 
 
 dosj 8cc. 
 
 Antiftitem hie aggreditur poeta famofum, qui Pammus vulgo appellatus eft, & 
 ftuprorum facerdos. Fuit gigantum filius, aut fi mavis, terrx tuber • qui in hanc 
 coloniam venit adulter venalis, & leno callidus. Propter artificium fuum in MiRiE, 
 amicitiam receptus eft. Mox uxorem Trauli coepit amare, & dedit operam, ut 
 aniculx fatisfaceret : cujus auxilio adjutus, ambito a principe e**patu , nadtus eft 
 prxdam. Ex plumbeo homine fit aureus flamen- neque diis gratias agit. Enim 
 vero ut a literis alienus, fie & ab omni virtute; qui cundta, quae didicit, nefeire de¬ 
 bet, cundta, qux nefeit, debet difeere. Morbo Venereo diu multiimque laboravit 
 (neque tunc lotium fuum valuit) & nafo jam periclitante, & fuffocati voce profedtus 
 eft in Galliam, ubi medicamentis novis & Borbonii fbntis aquis, affiduis etiam Soli- 
 bus afluetus, corpus & infamiam farfit. In patriam reverfus, vel aflentiente Alite, 
 uxorem duxit, & in novas tranflatus eft dignitates. 
 
 Rufticis convitiis a Pammo fxpiffime laceflitus poeta liberrimam tandem effudit 
 indignationem, & incultum & improbum virum acriter notavit. 
 
 Ver. 97. Pumila dum fibi te FROKINA inamabilis 
 
 ALES See. 
 
 Eadem Frokina ac Vrow pufilla, quo nomine donatur Ales, Ver. 154.1. 2. 
 Vrow & Frokina paffim appellatur, quippe ex Bata vis Judxis^ orta eft. Breviffi- 
 mi porro fuit ftatura, velbipedali. 
 
 Nulla fuit Pammo pietatis cura, aut Deorum reverentia. Neque modeftfc pec- 
 cavit, neque flagitia fua defendit aliqua excufatione} fed in fana 8 c aras ruit vino 
 madens, aut libidine fatigatus. Sxpius etiam nondum peradtis Divinis, ut aperte 
 Divos contemnere videretur, aflurrexit j 8 c indignante populo e templo exiit redta 
 currens ad quxftum lenonium. 
 
 b 
 
 Ver. no. 
 
no. At mihi quid tecum ejtf aut cur indoAe 
 Magifter 
 
 OTTOR aves &c. 
 
 Ottor (ni ipfe fallor) vox eft Punica , titulufque, quo gaudent do&ores Mauri. 
 Nofter Htbernicus Ottor fuit aut futoris aut fabri lignarii filius (non matre igno- 
 ta, quippe xythopol^) qui male quaelitis opibus do£toratum emit, Sc in antiftitis 
 cujufdam vicariatum elecftus eft. Inverecundum illi erat animi ingenium, & adula- 
 tione exercitum ' qui judex lites concire folitus eft, & in rem fuam vertere. Ne- 
 que convitiis provocatus, neque ulU fubadlus injurii, Scheffero noftro, quem 
 tantum Ottor viderat, fe profeffus eft adverfarium, Sc Miracid.um fcelera labore 
 & authoritate fui ultro auxit. 
 
 Ver. 124. £$ui Baldos Jimulat. 
 
 Petrus Baldus clariffimus jurifconfultus & philofophus, Perugii natus, floruit 
 circiter annum 1380. 
 
 Ver. 128. Nam neque T'HRASONEMfemper pa- 
 tiemur inulti. 
 
 Thraso, i. e. Miles gloriofus. Defignat Schefferus Me probrosa appellatione 
 longurionem quendam ex fatellitum numero, virum mali ingenii Sc procaciftimi oris ; 
 qui in conviviis & aulae circulis poetam vellicare folebat ita maligne Sc infcite, ut 
 per deridiculum femper audiretur. 
 
 Nec fraudes , OLLARDE , tuas~ 
 
 Rogavit Ollardus, ut Scheffero amicus adfcriberetur, quem Sc hofpitio in* 
 vitavit. Sed de recenti hujufce hominis fcelere & violate fidei crimine queritur 
 poeta. Quadringentas enim libras Schefferi nummos fraude intercepit. In alios 
 etiam focios amicofque vel graviora facinora edidit Ollardus per fcedam avaritiam. 
 Crevit tanquam falix- & quocunque modo crevit. De quo, le&or, plura audias, ni 
 reconciliatio Sc reparatio damnorum ejus crimen & poetx iracundiam extinxerint. 
 
 Ver. Id. 
 
 -nec feed era FUNGI. 
 
 Fungus, qui & Maccar appellatus, fuit mancipium & pocillator Mirte, fur 
 facrilegus, ficarius, & ad omnia fcelera promptus. Cum flagrantiori libidine te fluent 
 -hxc & altera faga, novos adulteros Fungus parat- cum iniquas inftruant lites, fal- 
 fos teftes adornat j cum caedes & parricidia decernant, ficarios & percuflores con¬ 
 vene, quin & ipfe inftruendis infidiis intentior, & dux fadti. In Schefferi 
 comoedia proprio munere perfungitur hie nequillimus verbero: in toto au- 
 tem Hermaphrodito femel unquam memoratur, ne ingenuam fatyram poeta fervili 
 nomine inquinaret • 1 * 
 
 Ver. 130. 
 
NO T AL 
 
 xix 
 
 Ver. 130. Garrulus ipfe etiam cirratus Homuncio &c.' 
 
 Quern poeta alibi Curculionem vocat. Sub hoc nomine parafitum defignat 
 militem Pigmasum, & Demi~Capitaneum, fed Patriciis fcortillis maxime idoneum - 
 quippequi percundator, & garrulus, & paftillos Temper debar. Ad arbitrium Miras 
 tribadumque fe totum accommodabat Curculio, ac Schefferum apertius & li- 
 berius maledicebat. Nain propter maledida, & quas garriit nugas, vivebat facilius 
 Temper etiam aliena quadra. De parafitante ifto Curculione dixit aliquis j 
 
 Graculus efuriens in ccelum jujferis, tbit : Juvenal. 
 
 Curculio efuriens, fijufieris, ibit in Orcum. 
 
 Ver. 135. ONDILLUS noflro &c. 
 
 Ondillus, five Dillus caufidicus a fecretis & pe||jeratiunculis Miracidum* 
 de quo vide plura ad not. Ver. 49. Lib. 4. 
 
 Ver. 139. 0 MELESINE, meas nunc experiere Ca~ 
 
 mcenas. 
 
 Melesinus, quiin Hermaphrodito Iocco appellatur (qutenomina fecit poeta juris 
 confulto cuidam Mir.-e fautori) fuit vir infulfus & maledicus, cujus ocuH aures & 
 vox venditaria ad fagas transfugere. In comcedia Schefferea fuas ipfe ineptias 
 fceleraque loquitur Melesinus. Tunc in orcheftri ftetis, O populares, 2c Mel e- 
 sini colorem atque geftus plenius intuemini. Tunc 2c verum hominis nomen 2c- 
 patriam vos docebo. 
 
 Ver. 145. S 'ive quis ex Procerum numero. 
 
 Veneficia Mir^e in Schefferum armaverunt magnatum quorundam potentiam.’ 
 Ex illis unum ingentis tituli invenias virum, vel regibus propiorem • fed in* 
 genii parvi, ac paternis virtutibus illuftriorem, quam fuis. Quin tecum cogita, mi 
 ledor, an tali liceat Schefferi mores criminari, cum nec veneficae recufet 
 comes ire, nec mcechus Aleniss^ ? an tali liceat Schefferea carmina culpare* 
 cui ignoratam latinitatem facile exprobraret poeta ? 
 
 Ver. 145. 
 
 Cum Miracid^e poetam noftrum ex infidiis occidere ftatuiflent (& quinam fine 
 illis animi, vel ex hoc colligere poflis) unus ex ficariis immane fcelus patefecit. De¬ 
 in alias proferiptiones & nefanda omnia Miracidum aperuit confilia. Evulgatio tam 
 fcedi facinoris, Mufis etiam inimicorum furias excipientibus, fcrupulum corruptiili- 
 
 b 2 
 
xx NOT AI,. 
 
 mis animis injecic, uc ne quid ultra ferro auderent tentare. Quin die qutefo, le&or, 
 annon cruentum hoc homicidium in poetam a Miraojdis cogitatum oc m iuc- 
 tum ftyli atrocitatem be totam carminis indignationeln exculet ? Aut quos reos elie 
 cenfeas & ultionem mereri, fi nocturnae cxdis authores abfolvas r 
 
 Ver. 147. Ecce meo, nequiequam aliosfpoliare parata> &c. 
 
 Cum primum poeta Tales fuos publico don'ffet, omnes matron# puelkeque nobi- 
 les, quot quot rei familiari aut fam^e coniulebant, colloquium Sc domicilium Mirae 
 effugere. Advenas etiam Sc peregrinos viros Schefferi mala fecerunt cautos : Sc 
 fruftra nunc in hofpites venefica infidias cogitat, aut quos ad adulteria illicit nil! ex 
 miferabili vulgo, majori etiam pretio ac mercede. Siquis vero haud dextro fydere 
 editus poetam audire noluerit, Sc fatyricae libertatis monita afpernatus veneficiis Mi- 
 jue aut folicitae Miracidum adulationi cedar, iftum cum ratione dicas infanire, qui 
 dum fomniat caelum Deofque, de Hecates coeni guftet, &Furiis permifeeatur. 
 
 Ver. 150 Androgyite ftcribunda , & crimme turf tor Omni . 
 
 Quicquid Scheffer jocose fabulatus eft in 1. 4. de jurgiis & imperio Veneris, 
 quae Miram ibi dicitur in marem mutafle, nullus dubitet, quin venefica 
 Sc hermaphroditus eftet, Sc immanis fpeciei monfirum ab umbilico ufque. Ipfe 
 sedepol fxpiftime notavi hirfutam Mir^e bar bam, viriles geftus, Sc vocem Stento- 
 ream. Cetera avent memorare tribades, quot quot incubonem Tunt paffae, Sc quae 
 nunquam afturrexerunt de toro ejus line robufta voluptate. 
 
 Crimlne turpior omni. Siquidem Mira foediftima fedta augebat obfccenitate ver- 
 borum vel in aulae circulis & coram principe. Porro pudicitiam fuam ufque adeo 
 proftituit, ut omnia membra contaminarentur. Neque vos miremini, populares, 
 ft paucorum verficulorum fatyra haud millefimam partem flagitiorum, quae perpe- 
 travit ifta androgyne, jam evulgaverit; cum omnes fuas impuritias, omnes fcelerum 
 formas vel ducentis voluminibus nemo eloqui poffit. Si autem quis polfet, an perlegi 
 auditive fas fit, nedum credi ? 
 
 Ver. 159. Necpetulans uxor TRAULI impunitior exit. 
 
 Ut Miram, ita mellillam Mir^e libidinofam Trauli uxorem, quafi in tabula, 
 produxit poeta ignominiofis certe coloribus, fed fuis. Neque nunc invenitur inter 
 Iernas nurus puellafque, quae amicitiam Alitis colit; fi paucas excipias, quae in 
 collegium tribadum. Sc novi ftupri fodalitium fe cooptari cupiunt. 
 
 Ver. 165. Inque diesperculfa vovet^ femperque vovebit 
 SCHEFFERIDAS Mufas ,, &c. 
 
 Furit Ales, &pallelcit, fiquando Schefferi fatyricon memoretur. Quippe quae 
 de feipsa nunquam non magnifi.ee cogitabat, Sc immania fcelera Sc fucatam formam 
 
 credebat 
 
NOT 
 
 % * 
 
 credebat nefciri a populo, corporis animique deformitatem nunc fateri cogitur. Haud 
 igitur mirere, mi le&or, fi poetse indiciis irata novas injurias litefque, fi vulnera & 
 mortem ipfam comminetur. Quin tuo more excandefcas, O infamis faga • Schef- 
 ferum noftrum contumeliis laceffas, laceres mendaciis, iterum iterumque infidias 
 ferrum, venenum moliare; attamen & te bellantem decipiant arma, & mox vel 
 tu^e canes in telatrent; dum novafatyrae argumenta, 6c idoneam jocandi materiem 
 ipfa fuggeras. 
 
 xxi 
 
 Ver. 172. huchbriumque Eblanse, & late fabula fiat. 
 
 Eblana, feu EblanaPortus nempe Dublinum. Jampridem ifte Scheffe- 
 reus Vol toti notus eft Kevannorum Suburra j quern 6 c fcurrae omnes 6c cau- 
 ponii pueri nunc ludificatui habent. 
 
 Ver. 179. Time cum grandcevum te purpura tertia velet. 
 
 Ambit Pammus ditiffimum facerdotium in feptentrionali regione fitum; & 
 hoc a veneficiis Mir^e & Alitis aflutiS exoptare aufus eft, quod Divum nemo pro- 
 mittere auderet; nifi inter Divos reperiantur, qui literas humaniores ac divinas flocci 
 faciunt, qui lenones colunt, qui fcelera mercantur. 
 
 Ver. 180. Forfan & ipfa fuam tollatComcedia vocem &c. 
 
 Poeta latine icripfit comcediam, quae vocatur Venefica, five TestameN- 
 tum Martis. Ecce autem tibi, ledor, 
 
 DRAMATIS PERSON!. 
 
 VOLCANUS, vuigo VOL, 
 
 PERSEUS, 
 
 CACUS, 
 
 PAMMUS, 
 
 MELESINUS, yfov IOCCO, 
 FUNGUS, five MACCAR, 
 MIRA, 
 
 ALES, 
 
 PSEUDOLA, ' 
 
 Malm Dens. 
 
 S' Eques & faber Adop- 
 
 1 tatitius Volcanl. 
 
 Eques Perfei frater. 
 Flamen Priapi. 
 
 Caufidicusi 
 
 C Pocillalor Mira & f~ 
 
 2 carius. 
 
 Saga & Androgyne. 
 
 Altera faga , tribas & 
 Mira contubernalis. 
 
 Ancilla Mira. 
 
 
 ACTUS 
 

 O' 
 
 xxii NOT AZ. 
 
 • i 
 
 ACTUS 1 : S C E N A I. 
 
 i. ;* 
 
 MIRA. MACCAR, 
 
 MIRA. 
 
 CDROBE atdepol defuddjli, neque fudorem perdes tuum: 
 
 Jam enim digna, Maccar, labore tuo perfolvam pramici) 
 Atque ex pedifequo mihi fies pocillator mifero. 
 
 £htin deponas vejlimenta fervilis nota, iff induas 
 Coccinea ; iff frons cirrata fiet, fericatum occiput : 
 
 Mach aram infuper geras, ut generoftores cuntii folent . 
 
 MACCAR. 
 
 Benignitati vejlra, Domina, gratias ago quam maximas : 
 Eccum gratiffimum repperifti virum, £sf otww tow 
 Nutus paratum ! £>uinetiam iff omnis nojlra families 
 Servitus tibi nunc debetur: mihi fratres duo funt domi, 
 
 Et cognati quatuor nafutiores, quos tu fortiffimos 
 Athletas dixeris ; nec unquam experti funt ?nalam Venerem. 
 Robujlam ex Mis, Domins, voluptatem queas capere : 
 Proporro me lenocinante parvi venditant bona fua. 
 
 MIRA. 
 
 Lepide diftum per concham Veneris / Cras ad cellulam meam 
 Adducas omnes, ut lautas pralibem, quas mihi offers, dapes; 
 Atque ut juvenes arrhabonem accipiant : fiquis vero erit 
 NuptuSj tu manda Hli, ut fine uxore hac nofte cubeit 
 Nunc adpenarium defeendas, iff temet ipfum accuses bene ; 
 Atque vinum ad reficiendas vires ufque ajfatim ebibas : 
 Quippe enim pojl prandium nervis iterum utendum *Ji tuis. 
 
 * 
 
 [Exit MACCAR; 
 
 ACTUS I. SCENAII. 
 
 MIRA. PSEUDOLA. 
 
 MIRA. 
 
 TiSeudolaf PSEUD. Num quid vis Domina? MIR, Die plane dt no flyt 
 r < Maccar e 
 
 Quid cenfeas ? Num monger us ejl nebulo, if moratus bene ? 
 
 Spcciem corporis fatis perfpexi , animum vero parum. 
 
 PSEU- 
 
NO TM 
 
 PSEUDOLA.’ 
 
 Sene moratus eft, (sf tuts rebus max 'tme idoneus. 
 
 Uti in le£io, ftc tibi in foro operam navabit ftrenuam t 
 Nam magis fcelerum caput., & perjurius nufquam eft gentiumi 
 
 MIRA. 
 
 Rem acu tetigifti! Sic enint liceat ulcifcier injurias, 
 
 %uas obtulit maledicus poeta, cut forma defpeila 'Jl meal 
 Nam ft iftum hominem non aliqua per dam, pol ipfa perii. 
 
 At at ubi eft Bombardomachides, quo nunc tota caleo. 
 
 PSEUDOLA: 
 
 yam hie aderit: dudum arcefft e caftuld, ubi mane potat . 
 
 MIRA. 
 
 Ut perdoiie omnia calles, Pfeudola, mihi es commoda t 
 
 Dabo tibi banc pallam, & aliquid peculi, ut fts ornatior. 
 
 Nunc autem in cubiculo Bombardomachidem opperiar. 
 
 Quin tu letfumfternas, modi quern Maccar concujftt fortiter ‘ 
 
 Ne nimis hngaftet nobis mora, quum miles adveneriu 
 
 [J Exit P S 
 
 MIRA cantat. 
 
 Hue ades, ne ilia rumpantur, mi Bom ! 
 
 Tufts mea capfts 
 Poftfeftfor redpfe, 
 
 Vel Perseo prcslatus, qui ftruxit Dom. Com, 
 
 Hue ades, ne ilia rumpantur, mi Bom ! 
 
 . ' II. 
 
 Si ipfe non Pammus tarn homo, tu quam. 
 
 Me fruftra petiftfet, 
 
 Nec hodie moechifjet: 
 
 At noftram tu folus habeto con-—cham ;■ 
 
 Si ipfe non Pammus tarn homo, tu quam . 
 
 III. 
 
 Haudtnam fapivi 0 cum Caci rem fat y 
 Ignaviam pertafa , 
 
 £{fod membra obefa 
 Ei nimio fopori , iff vino fe dat „ 
 
 Haud tuam fapivi , cum Caci rem fat 
 
 XXUI 
 
 -4 
 
 >'.a 
 
 EUDOLA^ 
 
XXIV 
 
 J 
 
 N 0 T JL 
 
 Nec tibi bircofus fe cmparet VoL 
 S$ui olim po-tuity 
 Sed ctudum fe-nnit; 
 
 Dum calet , dum init nosy annus efi poL 
 Nec tibi bircofus fe comparet VoL h 
 
 V. 
 
 Sin autem deficiasy en Maccar fiat pro-—! 
 Nam apte jjioecbatury 
 
 Et lenocinatury 
 
 Et alios invenit ex plebe * Mac. O. 
 
 Sin autem deficias, en Maccar fiat pro 
 
 Et lenocinatury 
 
 . \ 
 
 vr. 
 
 At quis Deus fecit me Androgy-num ? 
 
 Hpunm crifpus petfen is ! 
 Eons , ignis perennis ! 
 
 "1 c uV-..y* v \u:v.‘ 
 
 Fonsy ignis perennis f 
 
 Remotum utrinque , utrumquey neu-trum 7 
 At quis Deus fecit me Androgy-num ? 
 
 VII. 
 
 L 
 
 Poteffumy nam mea columna efi fal , 
 
 Amplexus virilesy 
 Vel dare [i-mileSy 
 
 Scenas hafce ab authoris MS. defcripfi, ut tibi, le&or, impertirem ; unde incefta 
 veneficx flagitia propius confideres, & novum fcenicas fux procacitatis ae impuden- 
 tix fpecimen habeas. 
 
 Ver. 183. HORT’ATOR fcelerum. 
 
 Probrofum & fi&um Pammi nomen, live titulus, fed vera hominis defignatio; & 
 ex qu^, qui artem anagrammaticam mediocriter caUet, verum Pammi nomen facile 
 eliciat. 
 
 Vcr. 184. Et mcechos mcechis , &fagis leno maltgnis &c. 
 
 • * 
 
 In Scheffer i comoedia Pammus impuriffimi Lenon is agit partes; nec non artifi- 
 cia nova lenocinandi excogitat, tribadum turmae libidinem, vires virufque anguibus 
 adjiciens. ' Vlr. 186. 
 
 * Illos innuit pocta, quorum nominibus Mat. vel 0 prscSeitur, ut Mae-Carty. Mat-Mabtn , 0 Suhvan , 
 0 Sncr, St c. 
 
 
 ._._ 
 
N 0 T AL. 
 
 xxv 
 
 Ver. 186. Tunc quoque fi peteret Fenerem tua MIRA 
 
 nefandam 
 
 /Emula Pajiphaes See. 
 
 fi^ a f°^b & uxor Minois regts Creta , qua taurl amore capta, & 
 Vadali arttficis ope vacca lignea inclufa , Minotaurum e tauro peperit femihominem & 
 Jenubovem. Ruxus. Tale, ut aiunt, adulterium fibi jam molitur Mira, tale etiam 
 cogere fperat Audio &opere Pammi. Vulgare eft hoc canticum a Guilielmo Neu- 
 brigenfe compphtum, & Pammo inferiptum. 
 
 * O Pamme, en Mira pru-rit! 
 Nec tu , neque tui fufficiant. 
 
 Adulter Pajiphaes adfit! 
 
 Nil vetulam vaccafufpiciant. 
 
 Sic belluam liceat domare: 
 
 Dum magis & magis calefcit y 
 
 Centum viri hand faiiare ; 
 At forfitan taurus potejjit. 
 
 * 2D Pam, ts tyv Mira in foatlf ? 
 
 jfrt’er offer flip fclf 0? flip JFellotos: 
 
 Bur sitae ijer Pafiphae’s ©allant; 
 
 fear, tt >at ijts fisaiitaes tuM be jealous- 
 
 Xts ottlp tilts tnap fijou canft pleafe ijer: 
 
 jfo? toiien file 010 Sffllttci) is briiwJuIl, 
 
 9n IjtintyeQ (lout $$en tooulo but fcijeIjer: 
 2Do eafe ijer t|je muft iiabe a Bulu 
 
 * Ad modulos ac diaftemata veteris iftius cantici (An old Woman cloathed in 
 Grey , &c.) hoc, 6c hoc alterum canas. 
 
 Ver. 190. IQuam neque Lesbiades. 
 
 Defignat tribados 6c concubinas M1R/E. Nonnullas enim, prater uxorem Trau- 
 li, venefica impudice amavit, 6c ad libidinem u(a eft more Sapphus Lesbrae, 
 
 Ver. 191. Non centum, domuere anni. 
 
 Tir-oen. M. S. Non feril] Si (centum) mavis, pro indefinite numero accipiaturj 
 quippe venefica tantum feptuaginta habuit annos, cum ab Ebland Schefferus dil- 
 celfic. 
 
 c 
 
 Ver. zo 2) 
 
xxvj NOT jE- 
 
 Ver. 202. Tutus ab infidiis jam fpeSiet luftra ferarum. 
 
 /. E. Luftra lagarum, moecharum & tribadum; fcilicet Mir^e & Alitis. Lu- 
 Jlra, ut ait Rutsus , metaphorice dicuntur popinae, & lupanaria. Vid. Not. ad 
 Ver. 471. Georg. L. 2. ad ufum Delphini. 
 
 Ver. 203. At non cunEia tamen voluit fibi Mufa li- 
 cere &c. 
 
 Brevis haec eft poetae pro fe apologia. Satyrae libertatem fibi indulfit Schefferus, 
 fuis verb injuriis prorfus dignam. Haud quid acerbi in aliquem fibi permifit, nifi qui 
 illi grave aliquod mali confecerit. Nec quid falfi de inimiciflimis viris aufus eft dicere, 
 Sicuti enim, ledor, nufquam reperies fi&as poetae exprobrationes, ita nec ementita 
 Miracidum fcelera; quae vel irafcendo ipfi confitentur. Sed nec fiias poeta ftudiofior 
 eft ulfcifcendi injurias, quam incautos homines dehortandi ab infidiis & fodalitio vene- 
 ficae. Et forfitan plura fcripfit in fpem propriae laudis, quam Miracidum infamiae. 
 Etiam tota Schefferei fatyrici indignatio perurbana eft, & multa comitate tetn * 
 perata. Inter jocos & rifus nafcitur, & in jocos & rifus exit. 
 
 THE 
 
xxvii 
 
 THE 
 
 TRANS LATOR’s 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 M R. Frederick Scheffer the Author of the 
 following Poem is a Swede y or, as foine fay, 
 a Native of Lapland. In the Beginning of Queen 
 Ann% Reign, when he was fcarce fixteen Years of Age, 
 he was fent by his Parents to Oxford, at which time 
 many of his Countrymen were Students in that Uni- 
 verfity. He continued there till 1710, when he mar¬ 
 ried an Englijh Woman; but his Wife dying foon after, 
 he returned to Sweden. We hear nothing of him again 
 till the Year 1723, when he came into Ireland to re¬ 
 cover a Sum of Money due to him for a Freight of 
 Copper. But as this happened unluckily for him, fays 
 one of his Commentators, at a Time, when our Peo¬ 
 ple had conceived fuch an Averfion to that Metal, that 
 they could not be perfuaded to revere even the Image 
 and Superfcription of Ccefar , if impreffed upon Copper, 
 Mr. Scheffer found himfelf engaged in great Diffi¬ 
 culties, and was obliged to profecute a long expenfive 
 Law-Suit, before he could recover any Part of his Mo- 
 
 c 2 ney. 
 
xxviii P R E E A C E. 
 
 ney. And what he did get at laft, was but a fmall Part 
 of his Debt; as appears from his own Account of 
 this Matter in a Letter to his learned Countryman Mr. 
 Serenius, the Minifter of the Lutheran Church in Lon¬ 
 don. For he tells that Gentleman, That after feven 
 Tears Sollicitation he had not recovered as much , as was 
 fujfcient to reimburfe him the Expences of his Voyage, and 
 defray the Cofs of his Law Suits. And that he had 
 been defrauded in the whole of 16000 * Rix-Dollars. 
 But he does not any where afcribe his Lofles to that 
 particular Jundure of Time, or the Prejudices of the 
 Irijh Nation, but to the Iniquity of his Contradors, efpe- 
 cially of the Perfon, to whom he had conligned his Ef- 
 feds. The Wife of this Man was an old Sorcerefs, the 
 lewdeft and the moft vicious Woman of the Age in which 
 fhe lived, or perhaps of any other Age fince the Creation 
 of the World. It was by her Influence and Diredion, 
 that the War was begun, and carried on againfl: our 
 Author. A War indeed I may properly call it: For the 
 fir A: Attempt was upon his Life; a fet of Villains having 
 been hired to afiaflinate him in the Streets of Dublin . 
 But this Defign being providentially difappointed, 
 they refolved to attack him in another Manner. They 
 filed at one Time no lefs than four long Chancery Bills 
 againfl him, in which they charged him with all the 
 
 * A Rix-Dollar is a German Coin worth about 4 s. 6 d. Sterling . 
 
 3 Frauds 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 'xxix 
 
 Frauds themfelves had been guilty of, and called him 
 to an Account for his own Money. They endeavoured 
 to make void the Securities they had given him upon 
 his Arrival in iyclciTid^ pretending the Deeds had been 
 made in Truft for themfelves. Even the Land, which 
 he had purchafed from them at a very high Price, and 
 of which he was in Poffeffion, they took from him again 
 by force of Arms, attempting to murder his Servants, 
 who oppofed them, and outrageoufly infulting the Royal 
 Authority. They had Evidence always ready to fupport 
 their Proceedings, nor did they want a * Wreathock 
 to marfhal the Witnefies, and methodize their Depofi- 
 tions. They imagined, that fuch continued Affaults 
 would drive a Stranger out of his Senfes, or out of the 
 Kingdom. But Mr. Scheff er bore up againfl all this 
 Violence with great Refolution. He took Pains to de¬ 
 tect the Impoftures and Perjuries of his Antagonifts: 
 And he fucceeded fo well, that their principal Depo- 
 fitions were fet alide with Marks of Infamy; and the 
 Irijh Chancery was at length obliged to pronounce a 
 Decree in his Favour. However he did not reap the 
 Benefit which he expedted, and which indeed was de¬ 
 signed him by the Judgment of that Court. For * one 
 of his Adverfaries, who was the Subftitute and chief 
 
 1 
 
 * An infamous Attorney in London , who acquired an Eflate by Subornation and 
 Perjury. He was at laft capitally convi&ed for robbing on the High-Way. 
 
 * The lame whom our Author calls Cacus, 
 
 Agent: 
 
xxx PREFACE 
 
 Agent of the Sorcerefs, prevented the Execution of the 
 Decree by infiSting on his Privilege, as a Member of 
 the * Houfe of Commons: And Parliament Privilege, 
 which is circumfcribed by no bounds, is a terrible thing 
 in this Country. Our Author being thus difappointed, 
 began now to be tired by the Length of his Suit, and 
 the great Expence which attended it. He was befides 
 grown very infirm. The Moiflure of our Climate, 
 which had damp’d his Wit, had alfo greatly impaired his 
 Conftitution. Being therefore determined to leave Ire¬ 
 land, he was prevailed upon to accept of a Compofition, 
 and to relinquish one half of his Debt to fecure the 
 other. But * to preferve the Memory of this Affair, 
 and tranfmit the Names of his Adverfaries to Poste¬ 
 rity, he wrote this Poem in Latin (the Language which 
 was molt familiar to him) and for the fame Reafons I 
 have turned it into EngliJJj. If I have not perform¬ 
 ed my Part with tolerable Skill, I deferve no Favour. 
 For I can affirm, without any kind of Oftentation, 
 that I understand the Author I have tranflated as well 
 as any Man in the Briti/h Dominions. I have not 
 only made myfelf perfectly acquainted with his Style 
 and Didtion; but 1 have confidered his Character, and 
 
 * I would not be underftood to mean any other than the Irish Houfe of Com¬ 
 mons: For in England fuch a Claim of Privilege would not have been allowed. 
 
 * Tir-oen fays, he wrote this Poem, to divert himfelf, in his Sicknefs: Poema bo% 
 feftivumfecit ad elevandam agrUudinm , cum tcrtiana labor aba t, 
 
 I have 
 
P R E F jl C E. xxxi 
 
 I have ftudied his manner with great Application. I 
 have gone yet further. I have interefted myfelf in all 
 his Concernments: I have been affeCted by his Com¬ 
 plaints: I have refented his Injuries: I have felt his Mis¬ 
 fortunes. So that, it muft needs be, my Spirit is con¬ 
 genial, or fome way very nearly related to my Author’s. 
 For this Reafon, I am certainly obliged to vindicate 
 him, if I think it of any eonfequence to juftify myfelfr 
 Since there are but few Objections, which lie either 
 againft his Writings or his moral Character, but may 
 with equal Truth and Juftice be urged againft mine. I 
 have not therefore been unattentive to the Voice of the 
 Publick. I have diligently colleded the various Cen- 
 fures, which in Writing or Converfation have been pafled 
 upon Mr. S c h e f f e r’s Poem ; and it lhall be my Bufi- 
 nefs in this Prefatory Difcourfe to take Notice of fuch 
 of them, as deferve a ferious Anfwer. 
 
 I. It hath been objected, That Mr. S c heffer hath 
 made Choice of unfit Subjects; that his Characters are 
 too low and too little interefting, beneath the Dignity 
 of an Epic Poem, and altogether unworthy the Labour 
 he hath bellowed on them. To this I anfwer. That it 
 is in Poetry, as in Painting: The Skill of the Artift, 
 and the Execution of his Defign muft recommend the. 
 Piece, and determine its Value. I have feen a Dutch 
 
 3 ' Droll, 
 
xxxii 5P R E E A C E. 
 
 Droll, that was rated higher than the whole Court of 
 a great King; and I have juftly preferred a Group of 
 Mfop\ Family to a Senate of Nobles. The Harlot’s 
 Progrefs by Hogarth would purchale an hundred Saints j 
 and his * Bifhops make a better Figure in their 
 Sculls, than they would do in any other Attitude, in 
 which they might be placed by a lefs skilful Hand. 
 Some of the beft Poems, which the Moderns have pro¬ 
 duced, are of the Burlefque Kind, and are formed upon 
 fuch trifling Incidents, as could not poflibly have en¬ 
 tertained the Publick, if they had not been wrought up 
 with excellent Wit and Judgment. Such are the Sec - 
 chia Rapita, the Lutrm, the Difpenfary^ and. the. Rape 
 oj the Loch In each of which the Pomp of Verle, the 
 Smoothnefs of the Numbers, the Clearnefs and Elegancy 
 of the Expreflion, and the happy Turns of the Words and 
 Thoughts have made the Ridicule moft agreeable. To 
 fpeak properly, there is no fuch thing in Poetry or 
 Painting, as a good or bad Subject. And the Workman, 
 who pretends to derive any Advantage from the Excel¬ 
 lency of his Characters, or from the Quality of the Per- 
 fons, whom he hath introduced, will findhimfelf greatly 
 miftaken. A King’s Head upon a Sign-poft does not 
 give any Pre-eminence to theHoufe where it hangs, nor 
 any Reputation to the Painter. Neither will our Loy- 
 
 * A Droll-Piece of three Bifhops rowing to Lambtth. 
 
 alty 
 
 
PREFACE. xxxiii 
 
 alty be called in queftion, if we find Fault with the 
 Dawbing. Shall we allow that Man to have any Tafte, 
 who doth not prefer Mother Hubbard's Tale to Dave - 
 nant's Gondibert> or any one Page in Hudibras to Black- 
 mores Arthurs ? To bring this Matter home, I per- 
 fuade myfelf, that I fiball neither offend my Superiors, 
 or be thought to flatter my Author, if I fay, that S c h e f- 
 FEr’s H ermaphrodite will be read, when the Holi¬ 
 day Works of the prefent Englijh Laureat (hall be forgot: 
 
 And yet Mr. C- - bers Characters are fublime beyond 
 
 all Degrees of Comparifon. 
 
 II. A fecond Objection is founded on what my Au¬ 
 thor values himfelf molt, the fcrupulous ExaCtnefs, with 
 which he hath adhered to the real Hiftory of his Heroes. 
 For excepting where in the fourth Book he hath called 
 a Synod of the Gods, he hath not aided his Story with 
 Fiction. Even the Battle of Sir Mars, and the Her- 
 maphrodit e, which is the chief ACtion and Cataftrophe 
 of the Poem, is related Amply without any poetical Or¬ 
 naments to embellifli the Narration. From hence fome 
 learned Criticks have too haftily concluded, that Mr. 
 Scheffer rather aimed to be thought an Hifto- 
 rian, than a Poet. Thus my Countryman Tir-Oen * 
 
 * Schefferus nofter Mavortis ac MiRiE monomacbiam cantando tie quidem 
 aliqujd affinxit , tieque vera falfis remifcuit ; fed res gejlas perfonafque tales exbibuit , 
 qualts ante Schefferi carmen nobis ihnotuere . Vtretur profetto vir bonus , ne ni ~ 
 mis Poet a effe videatur . Tir-Oeni Com. in Procemio. 
 
 d Mr. 
 
XXXIV 
 
 TREE-ACE, 
 
 Mr. Scheffer in his Dejcription of the Comb at between 
 Mars and Myra hath added nothing of his own t no? 
 mingled FiElion with the true Hijlory j but hath drawn 
 the Combatants fuch as they really were , and has related 
 the Particulars of the Fight exaBlly as they happened , 
 and which were well known to us , before he publifhed his 
 Poe?n. This honeft Gentleman feems afraid of being 
 thought too much a Poet. And Wttjlein in his Preface 
 
 to the Amflerdam Edition of our Authors Works gives 
 in to the fame Opinion. * Mr. Scheffer hath related 
 the Duel of Mars and the Hermaphrodite hap¬ 
 pily enough ; but he hath not invented any Circumjlances 
 to adorn and give aTVeight to his Song. He is a faith- 
 fid Hijlorian , but a timorous Poet. But with all due 
 Deference to the Judgment of thefe learned Criticks I 
 do not conceive, that a faithful Hiftorian and a good 
 Poet are incompatible Characters; or that a mighty 
 Warrior needs any adventitious Blazonry, when the true 
 Hiftory of his Life and Actions is fufficient to create Sur¬ 
 prize and Delight in the Reader. If I were difpofed. to 
 celebrate King Arthur and the Knights of his Round 
 Table, or to exalt fome other Worthies among his Royal 
 SuccefTors, I fhould certainly have recourfe to the In¬ 
 vention of my Mufe both to form the Hero, and to fur- 
 
 * Hermaphroditi et Martis iuellum fatis digne fcrip/it Schefferu$. 
 Haud quid autem comments eji de fua fententid , nec carmini addidit pondus, Fidus hi - 
 fifriola fcriptor timidus Pott a. Wetstein, Diflertat, 
 
 nifli 
 
 o 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 XXXV 
 
 nifh the Adventures. But if I were to delcribe Alexan¬ 
 der at Tyre, Cafar at Alexia ., or the late King of Swe¬ 
 den at Bender , I Ihould Icarce think I did any Honour 
 to the Heroes or to myfelf by involving the greateft • 
 Deeds, that ever were performed, in Fidion and Fable. 
 
 III. But there is another Objedion founded on this 
 Impartiality and Exadnefs of my Author, which I am 
 more concerned to anfwer; lince it wholly arifes from 
 the great Humanity of the Perfons, who make it. Thefe 
 Gentlemen do not condemn Mr. Scheffer for want 
 of Invention, or any fabulous Embellilhments. On the 
 contrary, they would rather he had fupprefled the great- 
 eft Part of the true Hiftory: At leaft they think it in- 
 excufable to publilh fuch Truths, as caft a Blemifh on 
 human Nature. Myra the principal Hero or Heroine 
 (for fhe was both a Man and a Woman) from whom the 
 Poet has denominated his Work, is reprefented as a de¬ 
 formed old Hag, a Monfter of Wickednefs, and the Sink of 
 all Pollutions. The Pidure of the Witch Dueffa in Spen¬ 
 cer is not lofhocking, as the Defcription of S chefpe r’s 
 Hermaphrodite. *Tistrue, the Charaders of M ars 
 and V o l are not lefs infamous and deformed, than the 
 Images of Myra and her Imp; but they are better dif- 
 guifed, as they are introduced under the Mask of Gods. 
 And Men are feldom difpleafed to fee the Gods appear 
 
 d 2 
 
 as 
 
xxxvi P R E E A C E. 
 
 as wicked as themfelves. Our Author feems to have beenp 
 fenfible of the Force of this Objedion, and that the In¬ 
 vective in his third Book is a little too ftrong, fince he 
 lings a Kind of a Palinody in the fourth, in that Speech 
 which he afcribes to Venus. He there bellows upon, 
 the Hermaphrodite the fame Quality, with which 
 he had honoured his other Heroes, and borrows a Title 
 for her from among the Gods. But for my part, tho’ 
 his Satire were not tempered with any Compliments,, 
 yet I could not agree with thefe Criticks, who are of 
 opinion, that the Charaders of Myra and her Imp 
 are an Injury or Offence to human Nature. For I 
 think, it may be fairly concluded, that the Spirit of the 
 Hermaphrodite was changed, and adapted to her 
 feveral Occupations long before the Transformation of 
 her Perfon. In the firft Stages of her Life fhe is re- 
 prefented as a Sorcerefs; and the fame Character re¬ 
 mains with her to the laft. The Vices, which fhe 
 pradifed, were not the Vices of Men; and fhe feldom 
 aded out of Charader, unlefs when fhe attempted a 
 ftubborn Chaftity, which refilling all open Sollicita- 
 tions could only be betrayed by an Appearance of Vir¬ 
 tue. So that in truth fuch a Creature cannot be laid 
 to bring a Reproach upon Mankind, who had nothing 
 in her whole Compofition that was human. As to 
 the Imp, it may be fufficiently proved from the Text, 
 
 that 
 
PREFACE. xxxvii 
 
 that flie was not born of a Woman; but only had the 
 Liberty of affuming an human Shape in common with 
 other Dcemons. Our Author needs no Excufe for this 
 Character; but rather demands our Acknowledgments 
 for his Care and Sagacity in tracing the Origin of this 
 little black Creature, and detecting the Counterfeit un¬ 
 der all her Paint and Embroidery. I fhould with in¬ 
 deed, that Mr. Scheffer had purfued the Irony, with 
 which he begun, provided the Objects of his Satire could 
 have been touched by Ridicule But although little 
 Vices may be laughed at, yet enormous Crimes de¬ 
 mand a Scourge. And let their Chaftifement be the 
 fevered, yet great Criminals are apt to forget the Oc- 
 cafion of it, as foon as the Smart is over; though they 
 are fure to remember the Hand, that dealt the Lafhes. 
 But after all I will not abfolutely juftify my Author on 
 this Head; nor affirm, that I am myfelf entirely fatife 
 fied with the Picture he has drawn for Myra, not- 
 withftanding the Likenefs of the Features and theLive- 
 linefs of the Colours. If he had confulted me, it fhould 
 not have exceeded an Half-Length. Inffead of expos¬ 
 ing a common Nuifance, one would endeavour to get 
 it removed. If that were impracticable, we fhould 
 then content ourfelves with warning Strangers not to 
 approach it too near. But who would rake into an 
 Heap of Filth, that he might be able to defcribe the 
 various Matter, of which it confided ? IV, There 
 
xxxviii PREFACE. 
 
 IV. There is liill another Charge brought againft my 
 Author by the fame Criticks, and proceeding from the 
 fame Principle of Humanity. It feems, one or two of 
 the Perfons, whom Mr. Scheffer hath charafterifed, 
 were dead before he published his Poem, and ’tis faid 
 he fhould therefore have fpared their Memories accord¬ 
 ing to that old Adage, De mortuis nil niji bonum. But 
 this Saying, in which by the way there is more good 
 Nature than good Senfe, can only be applied to reftrain 
 the malicious Tattle of common Slanderers. It can 
 never be urged as a Rule fit to be obferved by a judi¬ 
 cious Writer. At that rate all Hiftory would be con¬ 
 founded. Nero and our Harry the VUIth muft be repre- 
 fented as merciful Princes, and Erojlratus and Char¬ 
 tres as honeft Men. What Method can we take to do 
 ourfelves Juftice upon a Tyrant, or any great Man, 
 who oppreffed us, when he was living, and who was 
 then out of our reach, unlefs we are allowed to attack 
 his Memory ? I would not indeed have him charged 
 with any Crimes, but what are built upon Truth. 
 And is not that Vengeance juft, which hath fuch a 
 Foundation ? Is it not moft reafonable, when it ferves 
 for an Information to Pofterity, and a Monitory to fuc- 
 ceeding Princes \ It may perhaps be here objected, that 
 a wide Difference is to be made between publick and 
 
 private 
 
PREFACE. xxxix 
 
 private Perfons: That the latter, fuch efpecially as are 
 Subje&s of the BritiJJj Illands, are under the Protedion 
 of certain Laws; and if they fuffer any Injury in their 
 Goods or Perfons, there is a proper Judicature, to 
 which they may apply for Redrefs; but they are not 
 to be Judges in their own Caufe, or to execute the 
 Sentence, which themfelves have pronounced. I ac¬ 
 knowledge this Reasoning to be right in all Cafes, 
 where the Laws will afford us a fufficient Reparation. 
 But there are Crimes of a very high Nature, which are 
 not cognifable in the ordinary Courts of Juffice, fuch 
 as Ingratitude, the denying a* Depofit, the betraying a 
 Friend’s Secrets; and among thefe I may reckon fuch 
 Frauds, as for want of legal Evidence efcape with Impu¬ 
 nity. Thefe and all other Evils, which are not punifh- 
 able by the Civil Magiftrate, are furely the proper Ob. 
 jeds of Satire; nor is the Satirift obliged to flop fhort, 
 becaufe the Criminal may happen to die, while he is 
 telling his Story. Well! But are we not by our Reli¬ 
 gion required to forgive thofe who offend us, what¬ 
 ever the Offences are, or from whomfoever they come i 
 To fpeak ffridly as Chriffians, we ought to forgive all 
 perfonal Injuries, that is, all Infults and Affronts, which 
 are offered to ourfelves. But I doubt, whether our re¬ 
 ligious Duty lays us under any Obligation of forgiving 
 the Injuries, which are done to another; to our Friends, 
 
 our 
 
xl preface 
 
 our Family, and our Country. If I am deprived of 
 my Eflate by the Subornation of Witnefles, the Cor¬ 
 ruption of a Judge, or the Power of a Tyrant, my 
 Pofterity muft be hurt as much as I am. And is it not 
 fitting, they fhould be made acquainted with the 
 Names and Characters of the Perfons, who have done 
 them fo great a Wrong? Is it not juft, that the Infamy 
 of thefe Mifcreants fhould laft as long as we fuffer 
 by their Crimes ? Is not this neceflary in order to ex¬ 
 culpate myfelf, and prevent the Imputation of having 
 wafted my Patrimony by my own Folly and Extrava¬ 
 gance, which was wrefted from me by Violence and 
 Frauds 
 
 V. Some Rnglijh Gentlemen, who for their extraor¬ 
 dinary Merit are well penfioned in this Country, have 
 been pleafed to railly my Author for his Demonology 
 and Belief in Witches. It would be eafy to clear up 
 this Objection by demonftrating, that Evil Spirits and 
 Witches are abfolutely neceflary to the ACtion of an 
 Epic Poem. But not to infift on this Particular, I will 
 acknowledge, that Mr. Scheffer really believed old 
 M y r a to be a Sorcerefs, and to poflefs the Power of 
 transforming herfelf into a Cat, a Wolf, an Ape, or any 
 other Animal, whenever fhe pleafed, and in as little Time 
 as was required to put off* her Clothes. Wetflein the 
 6 Dutch 
 
PREFACE. xli 
 
 Dutch Commentator * * * § affents to Mr. Scheffer’s 
 Opinion; and Ttr-Oen *f* fpeaks of M y r as Witchcrafts 
 with the fame Affurance, with which the learned § Sir 
 Thomas Brown delivers himfelf concerning Witches in 
 general. As to my Author, his Faith is fufficiently 
 juftified not only by his perfonal Knowledge of the 
 Hermaphrodite, but by the Experience he muft 
 needs have had in his own Country, where two thirds 
 at leaft of the female Inhabitants are profeffed Witches, 
 and deal in fuch J Commodities, as ferve to evince 
 their Power, and fupport their Charader. However, 
 in decent Conformity to the Sentiments of the Britijh 
 Senate, I fhall not enter here into a Difcuflion of this 
 Point, or affert a Demonocracy in the Britijh I {lands. 
 Permit me only to fay, that the Ambition of the Englijh 
 Witches and the Negled of their Domeftick Affairs firft 
 raifed a Doubt concerning their Exigence. If inftead 
 of mixing in the Councils of Princes, bewitching Mi- 
 nifters of State, and confounding Treaties, a Troop of 
 them had fometimes appeared to the good People of 
 London riding in the Air upon Broomfticks, or crofling 
 
 * De Veneficiis Mirje in ed opinione femper fui, qua Schefferus nofler. 
 
 Wetftein. Difiert. 
 
 f Scio Mi ram Verftpellem ejje, Tir-Oen. Com. inProcem. 
 
 § Sir Thomas Brown the Author of Religio Medici hath this remarkable Expref* 
 fion, For my Part, I have ever believed^ and do now know, that there are JVitches. 
 Reh Med. Parti. Sett. 3°. 
 
 % The Witches in Lapland fell Winds, 
 
 e 
 
 the 
 
xlii P R E E A C R 
 
 the Thames in an Egg Shell, they had prevented the 
 Infidelity of our Legiflators, and maintained that Fi¬ 
 gure and Credit they acquired in the Reign of King 
 James the Firft. 
 
 VI. I come now in the laft Place to confider the 
 Exceptions, which the Criticks have taken againft this 
 Work on account of the Verfification, and for the 
 want of Delicacy and Politenefs in Mr. Scheffer's 
 Style and Manner. It is no Wonder, if the Jingle of 
 his Verfe offend many Perfons, who have a juft Efteem 
 for the old Clafticks, and are skilled in the Writings of 
 thofe great Authors. For Rhyme, however it may be 
 ufed to embellifh other Languages, is certainly the word: 
 Part of Latin Poetry. What Reafons determined my 
 Author to the choice of Rhyme, I do not know. In 
 his Preface he feems to condemn it; and yet in the 
 Beginning of the Firft Book he applauds himfelf, that 
 he had been able to fit the Metre to his Subjed, and 
 adorn the Figures, which he prefented to the View of 
 the Publick with a proper Drapery. I incline to think, 
 that in this refped he was willing to humour the Tafte 
 of his own Country, where no Poems are in any Repu¬ 
 tation, if Rhyme is wanting ; and a Laplander would 
 fcarce find any Harmony even in the Numbers of Vir¬ 
 gil As to Mr. Scheffer’s Style, I muft own, it 
 
 wants 
 
P REF AC E. xliii 
 
 wants a good deal of poli&ing. His Epithets and Me¬ 
 taphors are in many Places courfe and boifterous. He 
 frequently breaks out into unreafonable Apoftrophes, 
 and injudicioufly mingles trivial Things and low Con¬ 
 ceits with Matters of Moment. I fhall remark in my 
 Notes on thofe unpolite or indecent Terms, which he 
 hath ufed in his Perfonal Characters: And as to his 
 Quirks and Quibbles, his Apoftrophes, Soliloquies &c. 
 they can give no great Offence. The Reader, who has 
 too delicate a Tafte to be amufed by them, may pals 
 them over, as I have generally done in my Tranflation; 
 for they are no Ways effential to the main Defign of 
 the Poem. I fhould not here take Notice, that there 
 are in this Work fome Words of my Author’s own 
 coining, if I had not heard him cenfured on that Ac¬ 
 count ; as likewife for mixing other Languages with the 
 Latin: Tho’ in both he hath followed the Examples 
 of all the Comic and Burlefque Writers, whether an¬ 
 cient or modern. In /Inijlophanes and Plautus we meet 
 with many long Decompofites and fantaftick Terms. 
 And the latter in one of his Plays hath mingled old Punic 
 with the Latin. In Petronius we have many Words of 
 his own Invention; at leaft they are not to be found 
 in any other Roman Author. The modern Italians ,, 
 who have written more in Burlefque Poetry, than all 
 
 e 2 the 
 
xliv P REE ACE. 
 
 the Nations of Europe befides, affed a mixture of Lan¬ 
 guages, and the Ufe of odd Terms. They have many 
 Words peculiar to their Poetry, and which are never 
 introduced into their Profe-Writings: And their Bur- 
 lefque Poetry is a Language different from both the 
 other. However, to return to my Author, he hath 
 but feldom made Ufe of thefe Poetical Liberties; ne¬ 
 ver once, but when he wanted * proper Terms to fix an 
 Impreffion on the Reader’s Mind, and to convey a juft 
 Idea of the Thing he intended to defcribe. 
 
 Having thus mentioned all the Imperfections, which 
 have been charged upon this Gothic Performance, it 
 will be but Juftice to remark our Author’s Excellencies. 
 His SubjeCt is entirely new : and whatever Faults are to 
 be found in the Work, it can never be difputed to be 
 an Original. His Defign is regular, juft and uniform. 
 He has obferved a reafonable Compafs of Time, having 
 limited the ACtion of his Poem to the fpace of forty 
 eight Hours; fo that the Mind of an ordinary Reader, 
 without fuffering any DiftraCtion, will be able to com¬ 
 prehend the various Incidents and Tranfitions of the 
 
 y 
 
 * He calls the Lilliputians, Pjcm^ulum Popellum. L. 2. V. 289. And the 
 Brobdignaggians , Gigantissimos Gigantes. Ibid. In the 3d Book Myra’s 
 Imp, who was a Dutch Jewels, is called Frokina, and Shylockissa, and at 
 the End of the 4th Book, the old Hermaphrodite is called, Andro-anus. 
 Thefe, as well as I remember* are all the Words of our Author’s own coining. 
 
 whole 
 
PREFACE. xlv 
 
 whole Piece. None of his Adventures are out of Na¬ 
 ture or Probability. The Metamorpholis of Myra is 
 indeed a wonderful Event; but the Poet has called in 
 a Goddefs to perform the Operation. And yet if Cre¬ 
 dit may be given to the Relations of many learned Phi- 
 lofophers, Anatomifts, and Hiftorians, even fuch a 
 Change may be wrought without the Interpolation of 
 a Deity, and is not uncommonly the EffeCt of a natural 
 Caufe; of which I lhall produce lome Examples, when 
 I come to explain that Paflage, where the old 
 Matron’s Transformation is particularly reported. The 
 other Heavenly Machines, which the Poet has ufed, 
 are no more, than were neceflary to accomplilh his 
 A&ion: And they are but few,, if we confider that moll 
 of his Characters are Gods, Demons, Imps and In- 
 chanters. But what chiefly pleafes me,, who have cer¬ 
 tainly entered farther than any other into the Spirit of 
 this Author, istoobferve, that Mr. Scheffer has ju- 
 dicioufly reprefented many of his private Enemies in 
 the Perfons of his Heroes; as Virgil has drawn an hand- 
 fome likenefs for his Friends and Patrons at. the Court 
 of Auguftus in the Characters of his JEneid ; with 
 this difference, that the Compliments in the Roman 
 Poet are an ingenious Piece of Flattery, whereas Mr. 
 Scheffer’s Defcriptions are a fincere and juft Recri¬ 
 mination, Thus 
 
xlvi PREFACE. 
 
 Thus much I have thought proper to fay in behalf of 
 my Author. On my own Account I lhall only add, that 
 1 have endeavoured to render the exadt Senfe and Mean¬ 
 ing of this famous Gothic Poem. For whole Pages to¬ 
 gether 1 have followed him Step by Step; and there 
 my Verffon is almoft literal, as may be dilcerned by 
 comparing it with the Original. In other Places in¬ 
 deed I have been obliged to ufe greater Liberties, that 
 I might give a Grace to my Numbers, and make my 
 Author well underflood. I have left out (as I laid be¬ 
 fore) all his ruftick Epithets and Expreffions, Quirks 
 of Epigram and other Puerilities, which are ill forted 
 with his better Thoughts, and however they might 
 pleafe a Northern Ear, would certainly offend an En~ 
 glijh Reader. 1 have likewile changed the * Title of 
 the Poem, becaufe I thought it too long to be adapted 
 to the Voice of the Dublin Hawkers, on whole Addrels 
 I muff in fome Meafure depend for the Sale of my 
 Book. In Ihort, I have ftudied to make my Author 
 fpeak Englijhy and that Sort of Englijh , in which I 
 imagine he would have exprelfed himfelf, if he had 
 accommodated his Work to the Tafte and Manners of 
 the Britijh Nation. I once refolved to have imitated 
 
 * The Original is intitkd, Noctivagator,^' Hsrmaphr,o- 
 
 DIX U S i 
 
 him 
 
PREFACE. xlvii 
 
 him in his Numbers, and prefented my Tranflation to 
 the Publick in Hudibraftick Metre. But after two or 
 three Effays I dropt that Defign. I found my felf too 
 much confined by the fhortnefs of the Verfc j which 
 would neither allow me to exprefs Mr. Scheffers 
 Raillery with a tolerable Grace, nor his more ferious 
 Satire with any Dignity. And indeed, to enable one 
 to turn in fuch a narrow Compafs, requires a Genius 
 and Imagination, fuch as the Author of Hudibras pof. 
 fefied, that can furnifh Wit for every Line. I have 
 therefore chofe the Verfe of twelve Syllables in Defe¬ 
 rence to the Judgment and Authority of*^ one of our 
 own Kings, who in his Art of Poetry (which perhaps 
 he underftood as well as the Art of Government) calls 
 it Rouncefallts or Tumbling Verfe, and which he af* 
 fures us is the only proper Meafure for Poems of this 
 Kind. As by this means I pretend to fhew the pro¬ 
 found Refped; I bear unto Crowned Heads, efpecially 
 to thole among them, who are Wits and Poets, fo I 
 perfuade my felf, that this fingle Circumftance will en¬ 
 title me to the Favour of the BritiJJo Court, and to 
 the Patronage of all thofe Minifters, who are Perfons 
 of a refined Tafte and Monarchical Principles. 
 
 * K. James I. He publifhed a Work, intitled, Ane Schort Treztife eonteinins 
 Jome Reulis and Cautelis to be obfervit and ejcheuiit in Scottis Poejie. Imprinted at 
 Eambrugh in 1584, 
 
 3 As 
 
 I 
 
xlviii PREFACE . 
 
 As I do not defire to derive any Reputation from 
 the Merit of others, I think my felf obliged to acknow¬ 
 ledge, before 1 conclude my Preface, that the explana¬ 
 tory Notes and Obfervations, which I have fubjoined to 
 my Verfion of this Poem, are partly extracted from the 
 Comment of my Countryman Tir-Oen , and the cri¬ 
 tical Differtations of Meflieurs Cuper and Wetftein, 
 and partly compiled from the private Memoirs and In¬ 
 formations I have received from fome intelligent Friends, 
 touching the Lives and Adventures of Mr. Scheffers 
 H eroes, the furprizing Actions of the great Herma¬ 
 phrodite, and the Progrefs of Tribadijm in this King¬ 
 dom, 
 
 THE 
 

 ( xlix ) 
 
 THE 
 
 AUTHORS 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 a J Did not compofe the following Poem to acquire a 
 Reputation in Poetry, nor have I now made it pub- 
 lick at the Requeft of my Friends. But the only 
 Reafon, that hath induced me to commence an Au¬ 
 thor, is to teftify my Gratitude to fome Honourable 
 Perfonages, from whom I have received many, and 
 fome very extraordinary Favours during my Relidence in 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 * I did not compofe , See. 
 Verficulos hofee neque pro fama 
 feci, ut repente ficPoeta prodirem, 
 neque amicorum rogatu jam typis 
 mandavi. Cum autem innumera 
 maximaque in me beneficia contu- 
 lifient Comitissa quaedam perho- 
 norabilis, Sociique ejus maxime co- 
 lendi, ne ingratum dicerent, 
 
 Our Author here alledges a very 
 juftifiable Reafon for the Publication 
 of his Work, however he may have 
 fucceeded in the Opinion of the 
 Beaux Efprits. There are Benefits 
 
 which demand a publick Acknow¬ 
 ledgment, and which cannot properly 
 be returned in any other Manner. 
 As there are Crimes which the Hand 
 of Juftice cannot reach, and are 
 not otherwife to be punifhed, than 
 by being expofed; and which ought 
 to be expoled in Order to prevent 
 honeft Men from being deceived 
 by Appearances, and circumvented 
 under the Colour and Mafque of 
 Friendlhip. This in my Opinion is 
 the belt Apology for Perfonal Sa¬ 
 tire. 
 
 f Dublin . 
 
 
 
 
] The Author's Preface. 
 
 Dublin. Though the Gothic Mufe may have failed to 
 make her Compliments with a juft Delicacy, or in a 
 Manner fuitable to the elegant 1 afte of this Count!y, 
 yet I flatter my felf that my Endeavours will be thought 
 laudable ; and I hope the Dignity of my Subjeds 
 may excite fome abler Bard to treat them with a 
 greater Propriety, to illuftrate the CharaOers, and do 
 Juftice to the Merit of my noble Patrons and Bene¬ 
 factors. I may perhaps incur the Difpleafure of the 
 Learned for reviving a Species of Poetry, which hath 
 been in Difufe for more than two hundred Years paft. 
 
 I {hall liften with RefpeCt and Deference to their Ani- 
 madverftons. But I here declare once for all, that I 
 defy malevolent Criticks of all Denominations; thofe 
 only excepted fa who, when they fail to blaft a Man’s 
 
 Reputation, 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 b Who when they fail to blaft, &c. tunity to execute their Dcfign. It 
 
 Hominem, cujus fama Icedi non will not beamifs to mention here the 
 poffit, ex infidiis occidere meditan- Opinion of Wetftein, the learned 
 tur. Si forfitan Sicarios iftos, &c. Dutch Commentator. His Words 
 I have remarked before, that during are thefe, Patroni maxim'e colendi , 
 Mr. Scheffer’s Refidence in Dublin fimul C? ficarii nequijfimi , quos me- 
 he narrowly eicaped being aflaffina- morat Schefferus in procemio, nec non 
 ted.Oneofthe Ruffians,who washired dele Eli heroes, quos cecinii poeta, ’av- 
 for that Purpofe, either out of a Re- totxtoi, i. e. ipfifftmi funto. Mr. 
 morfe of Confcience, or in Hopes Scheffer’s moft honoured Patrons, 
 of a greater Reward, came private- and the wicked AJJaJftns, whom he 
 ly to our Author, and difcovered the mentions in his Preface, as likewife 
 Villany •, but not till they had lain the Heroes of his Poem, are the felf 
 in wait for him a Week or ten Days fame Perfons. Wetftein^ was pretty 
 without finding a convenient Oppor- well informed. Mars and* Myra pro- 
 
 * jefted 
 
The Author's Preface. li 
 
 Reputation, do not fcruple to aflaffinate his Perfon. 
 Such I know there are; and therefore, as often as I fhail 
 be obliged to approach the Habitation of thefe Savages 
 I will put my felf into as good a Pofture of Defence, 
 as I am able. c In the mean time I derive much Sa¬ 
 
 tisfaction from a Confcioufnefs of my Intentions, and 
 the Approbation of thofe ingenious and worthy Gen¬ 
 tlemen, to whofe Judgment I fubmitted this Poem, be¬ 
 fore I would venture to fend it abroad. Let it not be 
 thought any Vanity in me, that I have here prefixed 
 their Teftimonies; fince in this I am abundantly jufti- 
 fied by the Practice of many ancient and modern Bards, 
 my great Predeceffors and Contemporaries. 
 
 NOTES and O B 
 jefted the Afiaffination, and hired the 
 Villains that undertook it. Some 
 others of our Author’s Heroes were 
 privy to the Defjgn, particularly Vol 
 and Myra's Imp. The Reader, who 
 conceives, that the Profecution of a 
 Street-Robber, or the Execution of a 
 Murderer, is a piece of Juftice we owe 
 the Publick, will excufe the fevereft 
 StrokesofMr.ScHEFFER’sSatire. In 
 my Preface I have anfwered an Objec¬ 
 tion, that fome of my Author's He¬ 
 roes were dead , before he publijhed 
 his Poem •, that is, before he publilhed 
 the Second Volume: for all were a- 
 live, when the two firft Books were 
 publilhed; and Mr. Scheffer was 
 after that feen in the midft of them. 
 In truth, whofoever is pleafed to 
 charge him with Injuftice or Inhu¬ 
 manity for expofing thofe Perfons, 
 who happened to die while he was 
 printing or writing this Work, may 
 
 NERVATIONS. 
 
 as properly arraign the Wifdom of 
 that Judicature, which condemns an 
 Aflailin to be hung in Chains. 
 
 c In the mean Time / derive. See. 
 
 Haud quid autem mihi.eripiet ope- 
 rum meorum & laudis confcientiam, 
 quam amiciffimi clariffimique viri 
 mihi afientiuntur, &c. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer hath taken all Oc- 
 cafions to apologize for his Satire ; 
 and particularly in this place he urges 
 the Approbation of his learned 
 Friends. But does not this Part of his 
 Preface leem to contradid: what he fay s 
 above, that he did notpublifh his Poem 
 (Amicorum rogatuj at the Requeft of 
 his Friends? ’Tis podible indeed, 
 that fome of the difereeteft among 
 them might commend his Work, and 
 yet neither defire nor advife him to 
 publifh it. But I am fure the Authors 
 of the followingCom mendatory V erfes 
 were not of that Number. 
 
 f 2 1LLUS- 
 
(lii) 
 
 I L L U S T R I S S I M O VIRO 
 
 FREDERICO SCHEFFER, 
 
 T i r-O e n, Corcagienfis, 
 
 S. P. D. 
 
 q: 
 
 
 UIS genus, quis Semivirorum amores 
 Nefciat, rifum teneatve, feu Cra- 
 ticulam fumis celebrare, Scheffer, 
 feu Caliendrum f 
 Aptior ludo nova forma Mirae 
 Virgines urit; Veneremque matrona 
 Omnis explorans ftudet aemulari 
 Prodigiofam. 
 
 iEmulantur Dique Deaeque, quot funt, 
 
 Te canentem Mulciberumque Martemquej 
 Et rogant, ut tu fimili Camfina 
 Se quoque laudes. 
 
 To 
 
( Kii ) 
 
 To the Moft Illuftrious 
 
 O. • > f~S. 
 
 o L/ 
 
 FREDERICK SCHEFFER; 
 
 Tir-Oen, of the County of Cork; 
 Sendeth Greeting. 
 
 CHEFFER, ’tis to thee, we owe 
 All of Hermaphrodites we know. 
 
 7"hy jocund Mufe will never tire one , 
 Pleasd with thy Peruke and Gridiron. 
 Is there on earth a wanton dame , 
 
 JVho does not envy Myra’j frame? 
 
 Is there a God , that woud not be 
 Vol, or the Warriour, fung by thee ? 
 
 CL A- 
 
(liv ) 
 
 CLARISSIMO VIRO 
 
 * ■' * - " -■ - .V* « ■ 
 
 FREDERICO SCHEFFER, 
 
 *~r r-y r ■ r~T *- "■ r '* •* ' \ V f r ‘T “ r “T f ' 
 
 > - i - jf )->§ t~ > - •. . u* jt 1 ji i * • i 
 
 Vandalorum Poetarum preeglorioftftimo. 
 
 T ALIA cum referas plectro majore, Poeta, 
 
 Cinge caput. Phoebi laurea jure tua eft. 
 
 Aut nulli heroes, aut nunc ftne honore fuiflent; 
 
 Grandiloqui vatis ft periiftet opus. 
 
 Ante tuam Mufam quis Prachti detulit artes, 
 Impurumque Smythum credidit efle Deum ? 
 
 Nunc inter fagas fcriptusdeclamat Iocco : 
 
 Et genus, et magnos exhibet Ottor avos. 
 
 Gratia quantailli eft! Infans fe noverat ipfum: 
 
 Hie facit illuftrem, Sole micante, domum. 
 
 Quam bene conveniunt Perseus fur, atque Sacerdos! 
 
 Inftgnes titulis, ingenioque pares. 
 
 En! pafiim retegis fcelerati fcrinia Dilli ; 
 
 Atque antrum Caci, te praeeunte, patet. 
 
 Te praeeunte patent foediftima luftra ferarum, 
 
 * Semicanis vetulae, *j- Semiviriqpe canis. 
 
 f Uxoris Travli. 
 
 3 
 
 f Mirje. 
 
 Jam 
 
To the Illuftrious 
 
 FREDERICK SCHEFFER, 
 
 The moft Renowned of all the Vandal Poets. 
 
 W Hile the Peruke and Gridir’n the Mufes re¬ 
 found', 
 
 Let thy Temples, 0 Scheffer, with Laurel be crown df 
 Hadfl not thou, mighty Poet, fuch Wonders reveal’d. 
 The Exploits of our Heroes had fill been conceal d', 
 
 W<> Jhoud fill have believ d J— nn— y p T a ^ere 
 
 Clod ; 
 
 And whoe’er had fufpeSled old Smyth was a God f 
 
 You inform us, for what Mafler Ottor thus brags. 
 
 Interlining Iocco- between the two * Hags. 
 
 In Pleader what Grace! When an Infant, he knew it. 
 How illufrious OttV Houfe! for the Sun could Jhine 
 thro it . 
 
 Well befeemsyou the fThief, and the PAM-Prieft to digit, 
 Noiv the one is a Lord, and the other a Knight. 
 
 You difclofe en paffant the Conclulions of Dill, 
 
 The Attempts of Sir Cacus, and eke the quaint % Will. 
 Nor unaptly you point out the Tribadh Abodes , 
 
 Their Employments, their Configurations, and Modes. 
 
 * Myra and her Imp. f SirPiERcr. % The Will of Sir. Mars. 
 
 Other 
 

 
 ( Ivi ) 
 
 Jam tepet omnis anus, mcechifve tepebit Iernis: 
 
 At folum Mirae eft utraque nota Venus. 
 Fflminea indutus ftc vefte latebat Achilles; 
 
 st 
 
 Sic nymphas iniit, ftc et adulter erat. 
 
 Sic pueram fruftra mentito aftutus Ulyftes 
 Heroi impofuit nomen & arma viri. 
 
 Efte puta MirAm magni Chironis alumnum: 
 
 Hasc quoque Peliden ore, animoque refert. 
 Fervidus, aeque aptus Veneri, implacabilis ira, 
 Succubuit fato vi<ftus uterque pari. 
 
 Haud aliter, quam nunc Mirae jaculatus ocellos 
 Pulvis, Achilleum perculit hafta pedem. 
 
 Ruflini in Regno 
 Monaasdae. Kal. 
 
 Od:. 
 
 Philippus Christianas. 
 
C Mi ) 
 
 Other •wrinkled old Matrons fome Vigour may hoaJl\ 
 But the Virtue of Man is affix d to thy Toast. 
 
 Thus in Petticoats clad was Achilles unknown ; 
 
 Thus the Nymphs he deceivd—and all Wives were his 
 own. 
 
 Till, like thee, cunning Uly found out the Mock-dame , 
 And reflord to the Hero his Arms, and his Name. 
 One would think too, that Chiron thy M y r a had taught: 
 As his Pupil f 0 furious Jhe look'd—and Jhe fought : 
 
 Both impatient in JLove - and relentlefs in Hate ; 
 
 Nor unskilful their Foes - nor unequal their Fate: 
 
 Nor a Weapon more fure, thrown alike by Surprize, 
 Was the Dart in his Heel, than the Dufl in her Eyes. 
 
 Caftle Town in 
 the Kingdom of Man. 
 i. Oft. 
 
 Philip Christian. 
 
 \ 
 
 I N 
 
 * g 
 
( lviii ) 
 
 I N 
 
 FREDERICI SCHEFFERI 
 
 HERMAPHRODITUM 
 
 KNAPPUS GORCAGIENSIS 
 
 iENIGM A-A STROLOGUS. 
 
 D UM cceli faciem meditor, dum aenigmata fingo, 
 Grandia dodiloquus dicit fua carmina Scheffer : 
 Immanem memorat Miram, quae, publica cura, 
 Cundorumque uxor quondam famofa virorum 
 lndomita rabie, fada eft currentibus annis 
 (Sic Veneri placuit) cundarum vir puerarum. 
 
 Sic quoque Tireftam fertur mutafle jocofus 
 (Quis fuit ille ?) Deus; ftc maxima gaudia cepit 
 Alternis vicibus modo mas, modo fcemina vates. 
 
 Gothicus haec-8t jam paulo majora- 
 
 Exhibet Eblanae formafque artefque Deorum, 
 
 Quales nec cecinit Nafo, nec Jupiter optat. 
 
 Cailidus ecce fenex Vol computat aes alienum 
 More novo. Mox idem iEtnaeos evocat ignes, 
 
 Et tumidis buccis educit vitrea vafa. 
 
 Hie quoque Venator (neque nunc infamia terret 
 Gafnei fuftis) caliendro corniger adftat 
 Armatus Mavors: cedit vidricibus armis 
 Monftrum horrendum, ingens, olim pulcherrima conjux. 
 
 % 
 
- KNAPP, ./Enigmatical-Almanack 
 
 Maker of the City of Cork , 
 
 Upon reading the 
 
 HERMAPHRODITE 
 
 O F 
 
 Mr. FREDERICK SCHEFFER. 
 
 Q uaint Riddles i compofe, but Scheffer brings 
 
 - A nobler Verfe - The Britifh Myra fings \ 
 
 The mighty Thing, which Lesbian Loves began, 
 
 Whilom the wanton Wife of every Man; 
 
 Now hafly formd, in the decline of Life, 
 
 A vigrous Gallant jit for evry Wife. 
 
 Tirefias thus fome fportful God employs , 
 
 Changing the Sex, to try alternate foys. 
 
 Then in fublimer Strains he tells —— 
 
 What Forms and Arts fro?n Dublin Gods have fprungz 
 Such Jove ne’er praShs d, nor has Ovid fung. 
 
 How wily V o l new Rules of Counting taught. 
 
 And the Glafs Bottle to PerfeElmi brought : 
 
 How Mars Beperriwig d redeem d his Fame, 
 
 Subdu'd a Monfer, once his lovely Dame . 
 
 S 2 
 
 HE PI- 
 
X H 
 
 (i x ) 
 
 n e p i o 
 
 S I V E 
 
 argumenta 
 
 LIBRORUM QUATUOR 
 
 FREDERICI SCHEFFER / HERMAPHRODITE 
 
 THE 
 
 ARGUMENTS 
 
 TO THE 
 
 FOUR BOOKS 
 
 O F 
 
 The TOAST. 
 
 Argument to the Firft Book. 
 
 The Night Ramble of the Sun. 
 
 T HE Subject propofed. The Invocation. The Sun 
 arifes at Night from the Atlantic Ocean in the 
 Form of a Foupse-Beau, Comes to Dublin, Surveys 
 
 the 
 
 
( J xi ) 
 
 the Lights in the Streets. Goes to Court. Admires 
 the Splendor of the Place. A Defcription of the Vice- 
 Queen s Circle. Cupid in Claras Eyes. Phoebus re¬ 
 tiring meets with Vol (or Volcan ) and Mars , who had 
 long before been banifhed from Heaven. They invite 
 him to fup in Vol s Hole. They enquire of the prefent 
 State of Affairs, and cenfure the Conduct of the Gods. 
 The artful Anfwer made by Phoebus. Vol's Account 
 of Mars and himfelf, and of their Manner of living 
 on Earth. He fills a Bumper, and calls for a Toaft. 
 
 The Scene is firft in the Weftern Ocean, afterwards 
 changes to the Streets of Dublin , then to the Caftle, 
 and laftly to a Tavern, called Vol's Hole. 
 
 This Book and the next following take up the Space 
 
 of one Night. 
 
 n.' 
 
 Argument to the Second Book. 
 
 The Marriage of Mars and My a. 
 
 The Poet’s Infcription or Addrefs to Ottor and Iocco. 
 The feveral Orders of Toafts. The Rules of Toafting. 
 Why little Ali was rejected. Phoebus propofes a Poeti¬ 
 cal Toaft. The Out-cry thereupon. Mars relates the 
 Hiftory of his Marriage with Myra , her Amours, and 
 Extravagance. His unfortunate Encounter with the 
 
 Squire 
 
( Ixii ) 
 
 Squire of Gafny. How he was cheated by Prometheus 
 in the Make of his Body. The Fortitude and Adivity 
 of his Spirit, attefted by Pol ; who wilhes to become a 
 Poet in Order to celebrate his Brother’s Mental Ex¬ 
 ploits. The Advice which Phoebus gives him. Mars 
 proceeds in his Narrative. Sells his Commifiion by the 
 Perfualion of IMyra^ who fpends all the hdoney on her 
 Paramours, and denies her Husband a Subliftence. 
 Mars , reduced to great Straits, ftudies Kynogeticks, 
 and is appointed Chief Huntfman of Ireland. The 
 Excellency and Praife of his Hounds. Phoebus recants 
 his Poetical Toaft. Promifes Mars to punilh Prome¬ 
 theus ,, and to engage the Viceroy and the Goddefs of 
 Hunters in his Intereft. A new Round of Toafts. 
 Mars and Vol grow drunk, and talk Nonfenfe. 
 
 The fame Night continues, and the Scene is ftill in 
 Pol's Hole. 
 
 Argument to the Third Book. 
 
 The A6ts of My a and her Imp. 
 
 The Proportion. The Poet’s Addrefs to Peircy and 
 Lord Pam. He invokes Phoebus , and begs his Protec¬ 
 tion. A comparative Defcription of the Palace of the 
 Sun. His Chariot, his Hand-Maids and Horfes. His 
 2 excellent 
 
( lxiii ) 
 
 excellent Skill in driving. He ruminates by the Way 
 on his laft Night’s Adventure. Doubts the Truth of 
 Mars' s Relation, and refolves to furvey the Perfon of 
 Myra. Stops at UJhers Quay, and peeps into Myras 
 Bed-chamber, juft as She gets out of Bed. A Defcription 
 of her Figure, her Drefs, and the Qualities of her 
 Mind. Her Morning Oraifons, and Morning Exercifes. 
 A Defcription of Myras Imp. How Ihe was changed 
 into a Woman. The Ufe which Myra makes of her. 
 The Poet’s Apology to Clara. The Exclamation of 
 Phoebus . He haftens to finifh his Stage. Publilhes an 
 EdiCt, and interdicts old Myra all Commerce with 
 Men. 
 
 The Epifode of the Gridiron. 
 
 Mercury comes to viftt Phoebus in the Palace of The¬ 
 tis. Their Difcourfe concerning Mars and Vol. The 
 Hiftory of Vol' s Banishment. His Copper Countenance; 
 and the excellent Materials, of which his Head was 
 formed. His Requeft to Mercury , who inftruCts him 
 in the Art of Thieving. VoTs Arrival in Ireland. He 
 deceives the Viceroy, and is made Surintendant of the 
 Royal Finances. He dines at Sot's Hole. A Defcrip¬ 
 tion of that Place. Vol's Ad drefs to the Mafter of the 
 Houle. He purchafes a large Gridiron, and conveys 
 
 it to the Treafury Chamber. The Ufe he makes of 
 
 # 
 
 it 
 
( lxiv ) 
 
 it in counting the public Money. Vol s great Riches. 
 His Ambition. How he was difcovered by a Vice- 
 King that underftood Greek. Viof s Art on that Oc- 
 calion, and how happily he compounded his Pecula¬ 
 tion. This Epifode concludes with fome general Re¬ 
 flections made by Mercury and Thetis. 
 
 The Scene is firft in the Palace of the Sun, then 
 changes to Myras Bed-Chamber, and from thence to 
 the Palace of Thetis. 
 
 This Book takes up the Space of one Day, and about 
 half the following Night. 
 
 Argument to the Fourth Book. 
 
 The Combat of Mars and the Herma¬ 
 phrodite. 
 
 The Poet infcribes his laft Work to Cacus. He in¬ 
 vokes Fortune \ and propoles to confult the Sieur Dill. 
 A Defcription of the Morning. The AlTembly of the 
 Gods. Jupiter reviews his Vice-gerents. Momus drolls 
 on the Abfence of Vol and Mars. Juno is angry and 
 demands their Recall. Why Jupiter refufes to com¬ 
 ply with her Requeft. The Matter compromifed by 
 the Mediation of Momus. Venus expoftulates with the 
 Sun about his Edid. Praifes Myra , and changes her 
 into an Hermaphrodite. Fame flies to the Phcenix 
 2 Lodge, 
 
( Iwr ) 
 
 Lodge, and informs Mars of all that had paffed above. 
 Mars refolves to attack the Hermaphrodite. A De- 
 feription of his Arms. He drives to Ujher s Quay in 
 Dublin , and enters the Hermaphrodite’s Caflle notwith- 
 ftanding the Oppofition he met with. Surprizes the 
 Hermaphrodite and her Imp in a very indecent Poflure. 
 The taunting Speech of Mars. The Hermaphrodites 
 infolent Anfwer. The Imp is frightened, and runs un¬ 
 der the Hermaphrodite’s Petticoats. The Combat de¬ 
 ferred. Mars in danger of being drowned in the Imp’s 
 Pool. He fpits in the Hermaphrodite s Face. Avoids the 
 miflile Weapons, which the Hermaphrodite darts at his 
 Head, but is much incommoded by lofing the Waift-band 
 Buttons of his Breeches. The. Hermaphrodite endeavours 
 to wound him in the Groin. He is preferved by his 
 Muff, and wounds the Hermaphrodite. Her Rage. 
 The dreadful Weapon, with which fhe attempts to 
 finifh the Combat. Mars his Prefence of Mind. The 
 excellent Stratagem, by which he repels his Enemy. 
 The Hermaphrodite is deprived of her Sight, and ob¬ 
 liged to quit her Arms. Jupiter in his golden Ba¬ 
 lances weighs the Fates of the Combatants. Mars trips 
 up the Hermaphrodite , and while fhe lies in a Swoon, 
 binds her Hand and Foot. As foon as fhe revives, he 
 offers her Conditions of Ranfom, which at firft fhe re- 
 jeds with Indignation; but at length, in great Danger 
 
 h of 
 
( lxvi ) 
 
 of being eunuchated, Ihe fupplicates the Conqueror, 
 and fubmits at Difcretion. 
 
 The Scene (except where the Heavenly Machines are 
 ufed) is partly in the Phoenix Lodge near Dublin , and 
 partly in the Hotel of the Hermaphrodite. 
 
 The Time employed in this Book is one Day, 
 which is the third from the opening the Poem. 
 
THE 
 
 toast. 
 
 BOOK THE FIRST. 
 
 A 7ncf]@» cvTig tv- 
 
 • h&v A * * x &> ’aeai'ot. Pindar. 
 
 Nota magis nulli domus ejl fua, quam mihi Lucus 
 Mart is, & Molds victnum rupibus Antrum 
 Volcani. Juvenal. 
 
 \ 
 
THE 
 
 TOAST. 
 
 BOOK THE FIRST. 
 
 S ING, O Mufe, Phoebus Wrath! fay what Caufe 
 could perfuade 
 
 So polite a young God his own Toaft to degrade. 
 
 In a Matron fay how a new Furor began; 
 
 Who extended her Figure, and ftretch’d it to Man. 
 
 O refound 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. i. Sing , O Mufe y Phoebus’ 
 Wrath! 
 
 Iram Phcebi, Mufa, cane, 
 
 Et quce plane fcias, plane 
 Die : "Aeife ©e<% ur- 
 ' bane, quidnam caufse, cur &c. 
 
 Our Author opens his Poem in Imita¬ 
 tion of Homer , but not with equal Sim¬ 
 plicity, for he propofes the Arguments of 
 his whole Work here in the Invocation. 
 Either this manner of writing is moft a- 
 greeable to the Gothic Tall e^ or he intend¬ 
 ed to excite the attention of his Readers, 
 by offering fuch uncommon Subje&s. 
 Wetftein , (who now and then deals with 
 Mr. Scheffer and his Heroes too, with 
 great Freedom) fays, that it could have 
 
 entered in the Head only of a Laplander to 
 jumble together an Hermaphrodite, 
 a Gridiron, and a Peruke to form 
 the Plan of an Heroic Poem. 
 
 Ver. 3. In a Matron , fay how &c. 
 
 Quurex Vetula impura 
 
 Furor novus & figura : 
 
 Quis ex Mira finxit mirum ; 
 
 Ex Matrona Semivirum ? 
 
 Here is a low Pun on the Name of My¬ 
 ra ; a fort of Wit with which this Work 
 abounds. But I have carefully avoided it 
 in my Tranflation, without deviating how¬ 
 ever from the Senfe of my Author. 
 
 Myra , or Mira , who is the Heroine 
 of the Poem, was defeended from a good 
 
 B Family 
 
 
The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 O refoiind the Utenfil invented for Grilling ! 5 
 
 Let it henceforth be Splendid as Philips his Shilling! 
 
 Tell 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Family among the Coritani *. She was 
 a Womanof extraordinary Stature, and of 
 Vigour and Strength of Body fuperior to 
 mo ' of her Contemporaries. ’Tis faid that 
 at eighteen Years of Age, fbe was a Match 
 for Milo ? and like that famous W re filer, 
 could carry a full grown Bull. Though I 
 am apt to believe this is not to be under¬ 
 flood literally, but in that proverbial Senfe 
 in which pojje 'Tatuum tollere qucevitulum 
 JuJlulerit , is explained by art ilia in Pe- 
 tronius Arbiter. Nor was our noble Ma¬ 
 tron debilitated by Age, or her Concu- 
 pifcible Appetite decayed, though arrived 
 to her grand Clima£ter ck ; and fhe had fo 
 artfully repaired the Ruins which the Ma¬ 
 lice of Time had made in her outward 
 Form, that Apollo himf^lf was deceived by 
 her fir ft Appearance ; as he had been by 
 the finning Character which one of his fa¬ 
 vourite Bards'had bellowed on her. This 
 Miftake or Mi fin formation, and the In- 
 cidentswhich follow upon it, furnifti the 
 chief matter of Mr. Scheffers Poem. For 
 the God being rallied for toafting the old 
 Dame, and thereupon making a nearer 
 infpedtion, he difeovered all the Defedts 
 of her Perfon, and the various arts which 
 fhe uled to difguife them ; And examining 
 into her Conduct and Constitution, and 
 the Frame and Temper of her Mind, he 
 plainly perceived, that fhe had been guilty 
 of all kind of Pollutions; that, unfated by 
 her male Gallants, fhe daily pradifedthat 
 unnatural Adi the Spaniards call Donna 
 con Donna. His Godihip was foafhamed 
 and incenfed to be thus difappointed, that 
 in revenge he publiihed the famous Edict) 
 which our Author recites in his third Book; 
 where among other Prohibitions, our old 
 Matron was for the future interdicted all 
 
 * Coritani aie. a People of Aortlam^ U>*Jpire± 
 
 Commerce with Men. But this fevere 
 Sentence was defeated by the Interpofition 
 of Venus , who thought herfelf highly af¬ 
 fronted in the Perfon of her Votary. The 
 Goddefs was not unmindful of the Obliga¬ 
 tions which fhe owed t o Myra: And more¬ 
 over fhe rightly judged, that the Lofs of 
 fuch an indefatigable Servant, fo thorough¬ 
 ly experienced in all Venereal Rites and 
 Ceremonies, would be very prejudicial to 
 the Affairs of her Empire. She was in¬ 
 deed unable to refeind Apollo s Decree ; it 
 being a Handing Order of the Fates, that 
 one God may not undo the Adts of another. 
 She therefore changed our Matron into a 
 Man; transferring at the fame time to her 
 new Being all that Vigour and Vivacity*, 
 which file was wont to exert in her Wo¬ 
 manhood ; with all other Privileges and 
 Advantages ufually annexed to the Male 
 Sex. Myra after her Transformation, 
 was pofteffed with fo much Fire and Cou¬ 
 rage, that fhe engaged her quondam Hus¬ 
 band the God of War in afingle Combat. 
 But juft as the Victory inclined to her Side, 
 fhe was overcome by a Stratagem. See 
 Note on Ver. 3 1. 
 
 Ver. 5. O re found &c. 
 
 Ortas torret quod, cantato: 
 Crati-culum refonato : 
 
 Fulgur cujus vincat nil, ipfo 
 ius ne vel Jacci Philips 
 Nu nmuJus feu argente-us* 
 
 Seu verficulus aure-u$! 
 
 Craticula fignifies a Gridiron , a very 
 Convenient Kitchen Utenfil. 
 
 Patva Ubi curva Craticula fudet ofella . 
 
 Martial. 
 
 3 
 
 When 
 
3 
 
 Book ! Tie ; TOAST. 
 
 Tell us how twas apply’d to confound Calculation, 
 To enrich a great Artift and beggar a Nation : 
 Which to thy own Exchequer O * * tranflate, 
 
 To remain there confeft the chief Engine of State, io 
 To a Warrior of Fame my laft Labours belong : 
 Who will ever refufe the great Warrior a Song ? 
 
 Be fonorous the Lay, that no Grub may exceed it * 
 Nor a King may difdain at his Leifure to read it! 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS 
 
 When Nero was Emperor of Rome, the 
 Wealthy Courtiersand Men of Quality ge¬ 
 nerally ufed Silver Gridirons, upon which 
 they broiled Hogs Puddings. Fuerunt fcf 
 Tomacula fuper Craticulam Argent earn po- 
 fita. Petron. Arb. In a late Reign, fome 
 Great Men and Minifters of State inftitu- 
 ted the famous BeefSteak Club : And 
 their Pre dent, the facetious .D/ri Ejlcourt , 
 wore a Silver, Gridiron hanging at his 
 Bread as the Badge of his Oifice. This 
 Club has been lately revived by feveral 
 Noble Lords, who are true Lovers of their 
 Country, and Friends to Liberty. They 
 have indeed changed the Name, and now 
 call it the Rump-Steak Club, for a Rea- 
 fon which you may learn from any of 
 the Maids of Honour. But at no time, 
 whether by Cooks, Wits, or Minitlers of 
 State, has the Gridiron been applied to 
 fuch an excellent Ufe, as by one of Mr. 
 Scheffer* s Heroes. See Note on Ver. 25. 
 
 Jncci Philips. Mr. f ohn Philips wrote 
 an excellent Burlefque Poem in Miltonick 
 Verfe, called the Splendid Shilling. 
 
 Ver. 11. To a Warrior &c. 
 
 Nunc extremum mi laborem 
 O! concede : BeHatorem 
 Lauda meum : digne texe 
 Carmen, quod vel iegat Rex. E- 
 
 hodum ecquis fi Rex leget, 
 Bellatori paucaneget? ° * 
 
 Pauca — attamen fonora -j 
 
 Scribat V ates ; nec meliora C 
 
 Quis Grubaus, n?c majora. J 
 
 So it is in Grterjbn’s Edition. But in 
 the Amjlerdam Copy we read gluts Gothi- 
 cus. And Ttr-Oen , as well as the Dutch 
 Commentator, is of Opinion, that Gru - 
 bceus is a Corruption of the Text. 'Tis 
 abfurd, fays that great Critick, to ima¬ 
 gine, that Mr. Scheffer fhould rank him- 
 felf with the Authors of Grubjlreet ; a 
 Place of which he had probably never 
 heard ; but ’twas natural for him to wilh 
 he might excel all other Gothic Poets. So 
 if the Reader pleafes, he may infert Goth 
 in (lead of Grub. 
 
 T hL Part ot the Invocation, is a plain 
 Imitation of the beginning of Virgil's laft 
 Eclogue. 
 
 Extremum hunc, Arethufa , mibi concede 
 laborc?n . 
 
 Pauca mco Gallo ? fed qua legal ipfa 
 Lycoris y 
 
 C ar?nina funt die end a. Keget quis car - 
 min a Gallo ? 
 
 B 2 
 
 For 
 
4 The TOAST Book L 
 
 For a Combat I ling, by a Stratagem won, 15 
 
 And a Peruke which conquer d as fure as a Gun: 
 Wond’rous Peruke, which Jove in his Sky fhould have 
 plac’d, 
 
 Neared where Berenices fair Trefles are grac’d; 
 
 And have chang’d all the Curls into Ringlets of Stars, 
 Then have call’d’em, Thenevo Conjiellationof Mars. 20 
 While the Steeps of Parnafs thus advent’rous I climb, 
 Mighty things, tho’ unskilful, attempting in Rhyme, 
 
 On 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 15. For a Combat Ifing &c. 
 Duellum die ; quis fit vic¬ 
 tor ; quo dolo, Mufa, die. 
 
 Die Caliendrum , mirum opus. 
 Quo haud certius ferit fclopus; 
 Quod, fi Jupiter ornaret 
 Coelos fuos, collocaret, 
 
 Ubi coma;, quae vidtrices, 
 
 Flavx fulgent Berenices *, 
 
 Sic in fidera mutandum, 
 
 Aftrum Mart is appellandum. 
 
 Our Author feem$ to have borrowed 
 this Thought from Mufaus. 
 
 TiP dtyiAl P CClQfyiet, 
 
 Er/v^iot f/jir' Itt&hov ccytiv ofjovf/v po» us^oot 
 K«* fJOtV tTUKAWOU tV(/j(p 05 0 hot UfQOt ’EfCOTCOV' 
 
 Caliendrum , by which Mr^ Scheffer 
 means a Peruke, flgnifies any Ornament 
 for the Head made of counterfeit Hair ; 
 but properly the falfe Hair or Towers 
 which the Roman Ladies commonly wore 
 in the Reign of Auguftus , and which are 
 ftill frequently ufed by old Women to hide 
 their Baldnefs, 
 
 Altum Sagan a Caliendrum. Hor, 
 
 In the fourth Book, where the Peruke 
 is thrown in Myra's Face, 9 tis called Ca- 
 pillamentum. And this I think the more 
 proper Word. Thus Suetonius fpeaking 
 of Caligula's Night Rambles, Ganeas at- 
 que adulteria Capillamento celatus [difguifed 
 in a Peruke] iff vejle longa noftibus 0 hi ret. 
 
 Comes Berenices. Berenice , a Queen of 
 /Egypt ; who vowed to cut off her Hair, 
 if her Husband Ptolomy returned vidforious 
 from the War: Which he did ; and (he 
 performed her Vow; confecrating her 
 Trefles in the Temple of Venus . The 
 Gods, or the Aftronomers of that Coun¬ 
 try, have metamorphofed them into a 
 Conftellation called Berenice's Hair. 
 
 Ver. 2l. While the Steeps &c. 
 Sacrum montem fuperare, 
 
 Grandia tenues cantare 
 Dum conamur, Rhythmicorum 
 Nos indociles modorum ; 
 
 Vel quis Pegafus fit meus ; • 
 Velquis, qui interfit, Deus 
 
 Faxit, 
 
5 
 
 Book! The TOAST. 
 
 On a Pegafus mount me-or aid me fome God, 
 
 That unftumbling I tread in a Way that’s untrod ! 
 
 O! my Captain, Arch-Collier, or thee fhall I call 25 
 Vitriarious Volcan , or only plain Vol! 
 
 Ceafe. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Faxit, ut in tuto fiem ; 
 
 Ferque ardua monftret viam. 
 
 Our Author infinuates, that he never 
 compofed any Verfes in Rhyme before; 
 and that he attempted thijs kind of Metre, 
 as thinking it moft fuitable to the Digni¬ 
 ty of his Subje&s. Here, and more par¬ 
 ticularly in the Lines which immediately 
 follow, he makes a fort of Boaft, that no 
 Poet ever treated of fuch Arguments but 
 himfelf. 
 
 Veftram Vol, qui Crati-culam 
 
 Primus cano. 
 
 Me, the firft of all Mortals, who 
 fung thy Gridiron . 
 
 In this he has imitated the Expreflions 
 and Allufions of other great Poets ancient 
 and modern. 
 
 Avia Pieridum peragro loca nullius ante 
 
 Trita Solo . Luc ret. 
 
 And now infpird trace o y er the Mufes 
 Seat 
 
 Untrodden yet . Creech. 
 
 Virgil, in the third Georgic, makes ufe 
 of the fame Allegory. . T hus likewife Mr. 
 Cowley, 
 
 Guide my bold Steps ■- 
 
 In thefe untrodden Paths to facredFame. 
 
 Ver. 25. 01 my Captain, &c. 
 
 O Dux, Archi-Carbonarie! 
 
 Q Vol cane Vitriarie! 
 
 Seu audire magna nol¬ 
 ens Tu ames did Vol: 
 
 Lene mihi afpirato ; 
 
 Ambas buccas nec inflato *, . 
 
 Sicut foies, vitreas bullas, 
 
 Vitreas infles cum ampullas : 
 Halitufque gravis oris 
 Ceflet pauliim *, & aforis 
 Lene mihi afpirato ; 
 
 Ambas buccas nec inflato : 
 
 Lene mihi, qui bu-bulam 
 Veftram, Vol, qui Crati-culam 
 Primus cano, atque gulam. 
 
 Volcan, or Vulcan , the Son of Jupiter 
 and Juno, was the God of Fire. He 
 prefided over Mines and Metals, and was 
 the Patron of Smiths. He had his Forges 
 in the Iflands of Lemnos and Lipare, and 
 Mount /Etna, where he made Thunder¬ 
 bolts for Jupiter, and arms for the reft of 
 the Gods; as well as all other Utenfils 
 which they required. By Jupiter's Or¬ 
 der he was married to Venus . But he was 
 fo deformed, and always fo black and dirty, 
 that the Goddefs foon grew difgufted with 
 her Spoufe ; and made no Scruple to chufe 
 from among the other Gods or Men, 
 fuch Gallants as fhe fancied. Volcan , 
 when but a Boy, was kicked out of Hea¬ 
 ven by his Father Jupiter ; and breaking 
 his Leg by the Fall, he was lame ever after. 
 His Office in Heaven was to ferve in qua¬ 
 lity of Cup-bearer upon great Feftivals, 
 And Homer tells us, that the Gods were 
 much diverted with his Buffoonery. But 
 entring at length into a Confpiracy with 
 his Brother Mars, he was banifhed with 
 
 him. 
 
 3 
 
6 The T O A S T. Book I. 
 
 Ceafe thy Breath from thy Bottles awhile to afpire on 
 Me, the firft of all Mortals, who fung thy Gridiron : 
 So may long laft thy Pots 1 fo may all thy new Glafs, 
 Running fmooth, as my Lines, BrzftowBottles furpafs! 30 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 him Anno Mundi and had this 
 
 Ifland alfigned him for the Place of his 
 Exile. During the late Civil War he 
 ferved in the Army, where he was digni¬ 
 fied with the Title of Captain. But this 
 was not a Service which agreed .with his 
 Conftitution : For the Sight of a Sw r ord, 
 drawn in Anger, would make him fweat 
 more than the Labour of forging it. He 
 therefore fought an Employment, which 
 might not fufije£l him to the Fatigues 
 and Accidents of a Soldier’s Life ; and 
 having found means- to infinuate him- 
 felf into the Favour of the D. of O. then 
 Viceroy o {Ireland^ he was appointed Re¬ 
 ceiver General , and Surintendant of the 
 Royal Finances. 
 
 While he was in Pofieffion of this lucra¬ 
 tive Office, he counted the publick Mo¬ 
 ney over a large Gridiron , and all the Pieces 
 which fell through the Bars, he claimed as 
 Pcrquifites, and laid them apart for his own 
 Ufe. By this means he acquired immenfe 
 Riches in a few Years. But at laft being 
 fufpesfied, from the great Deficiencies in 
 the Exchequer, he declared himfelf a Bank¬ 
 rupt, and, pretending to give up all his Ef¬ 
 fects, compounded his Peculation for Six¬ 
 pence in the Pound. Then to conciliate 
 the Affe&ions of the Country, which he 
 had fofhamefully plundered, he undertook 
 to enrich it, by introducing a new Manu¬ 
 facture, and teaching us the A rt of making 
 Glafs Bottles. Hence he was called Vot- 
 canus Vitriarius . He had likewile the 
 Sirname or FitJe of Archi-Carbonarius 
 becaufe he firft dilcovered Coal Mfines in 
 Ireland. Buthe was belt known by the 
 
 Name of Vol, a Diminutive from Vole an , 
 as we fay Will, Tom , Kit y &c. Tho’ I 
 nuift not here omit, that fome learned 
 Criticks derive it from the French Vol or 
 Voleur , a Thief or Robber , which is no 
 unnatural Etymology. 
 
 The Hiftory of Vol and his Gridiron 
 forms the Epifodein the third Book. 
 
 Ver. 29. So may long lajl thy Pots, 
 &c. 
 
 UthicVerfus, poliatur 
 Vitrum *, Olla nec frangatur j 
 Nec lit molle lutum, vile. 
 Damnum irrepara-bile *, 
 Superemque Dublinenfes 
 Idas alias Briftonienfes 
 Ftf/-ampulte & craffitie, ^ 
 
 Et planitie, & duritie •, C 
 
 Quas £5? cunfii cupiant Bltice . J 
 
 Tir-Oen , who had frequently furveyed 
 VoPs Glafs-Houfe, affirms, that all the 
 Iron Inftruments ufed by his Workmen, 
 as Bars, Paddles, Rakes, Procers, Ladles, 
 finall Ladles, Strocals, Forks, Sleepers, 
 Perrets, Fafcets, Pipes, Pontee Stakes, 
 Shears, Scifters, Crannies, Towers, &c. 
 were excellently well made, being forged 
 byhimfef, or under his Infpe&ion. But 
 his Pots or Pans, in which the Metal was 
 contained, were wrought with fuch bad 
 Clay, that they would not bear the Fire, 
 but cracked after the firft or fecond Trial. 
 
 Brijlol is a rich and populous City in 
 Great Britain . A Place of great Trade; 
 and particularly famous for making Glafs 
 
 Betties, 
 
 
Book L The TOAST. 7 
 
 And O thou! whether moft thou delightefl to hear 
 Co-lonel or chief Huntfman, or Mars Chevalier, 
 
 Leave 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Bottles, of which large Quantities were 
 formerly imported into this Kingdom. 
 
 Bitice - Bitias was one of Queen 
 
 Dido 9 s Miniflers, a good Bottle Compa¬ 
 nion. 
 
 Turn Bit'uz dedit increpitans: ille impiger 
 haufit 
 
 Spumantem pater cun. Virgil. 
 
 Yer. 31. And O thou ! &c. 
 
 Et tu Colonelle , five 
 Mavis Eques, O Gradive , 
 
 Sea Venator jam vocari 
 Tu primarius : pol par pari. 
 
 MarSy the God of War, the great Hero 
 of this Poem, was the Son of Jupiter and 
 
 Z uno\ or, as others fay, of Juno alone. 
 
 e is fometimes defer ib’d by the ancient 
 Poets on Horfeback, with a Whip and a 
 Spear ; but more generally riding in an high 
 Chariot; Difcord going before him; Cla¬ 
 mour and Anger following him ; and the 
 Goddefs Fame with her Trumpet leading 
 the Proceftion. According to Ho?ner y 
 Man was the mod odious of all the Gods. 
 He was not only perfidious, impious and 
 unjuft; but like wife an Aflaftin and a 
 ^durtherer. He kill’d Hallirothius the 
 Son of Neptune , for which he was try’d 
 before a Tribunal of twelve Gods. The 
 Power and Intereft of his Relations fo di¬ 
 vided the Court that he was acquitted. 
 But being afterwards tried for other high 
 Crimes and Mifdemeanors before Jupiter , 
 he was convifted and banifned to the Earth. 
 As this Misfortune befel him at a time 
 when all the Nations of Europe were enga¬ 
 ged in Wars he acquired fome Reputati¬ 
 on in his own T rade, and was advanced 
 by the Favour of the D. of O. to a Poft 
 
 ofHonourand Profit in the Englijh Army 
 He was likewife Knighted ; and is there¬ 
 fore frequently called Movers EqncSy Sir 
 Marsy in our Author’s Works. But not- 
 withftanding the high Appellations he af¬ 
 firmed, both before and after his Fall, tho’ ' 
 he was acknowledged the God of War, 
 and feemedto delight in Arms and Blood, 
 ’tis certain he had but little military Skill, 
 and lefs Courage. Homer fays, Pallas 
 held him in fuch Contempt at the Siege 
 of Troy , that {he oppofed him with no 
 other Weapon than a great Stone, with - 
 which (he knocked him down ; and at an¬ 
 other time he was wounded by Diofnedy 
 a mere Mortal; when unable to bear the 
 Smart, and frightned at the Sight of his 
 Blood, he ran out of the Field roaring and 
 bellowing fo loud that he was remark’d 
 by both Armies. ’Tis not therefore to be 
 wonder’d at, if now being wholly ft ript 
 of his Divinity, and fubjecled to human 
 Infirmities, he fhould appear more pulil- 
 lanimous than he did in his primitive State, 
 However he fo well diftembled his Want of 
 Courage, that he obtained,as I faid before, 
 an handfome Command; and for fome time 
 poftefs’d a Character which he did not de- 
 ferve. If his evil Genius had not brought 
 him into this Country, he had probably 
 been promoted to the Degree of a Gene¬ 
 ral in the Britiftj 'Troops. Hut attending 
 here the Beginning of this Century on his 
 Patron, who was then our Lord Lieute¬ 
 nant, he was upon fome Occafion Caned 
 or Cudgelled by a young Gentleman of 
 the Family of B — w. Not refenting 
 this Affront as he ought, agreeably to the 
 Manners of the Age, and the Rules of 
 Honour obferved in the Army, he fell in¬ 
 to fuch Contempt, that he found it ne- 
 ceftary to quit his military Poft. Indeed 
 our Poet, who. has made Choice of Sir 
 
 Mars , 
 
8 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 Leave thy Doxies and Dogs, to attend to my Verfe, 
 And protect me, while I thy own Battles rehearfe. 
 
 So 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Mars for his chief Hero, gives an artful 
 turn to this Atftion; and imputes his Dif- 
 grace to the Malice or Ignorance of his 
 Operator Prometheus , who had formed his 
 Body of fuch coarfe matter, and had fo ill 
 proportioned the feveral Members, that 
 icarce one of them was ferviceable to him, 
 or could be us’d in a Gentleman like man¬ 
 ner. - After this Misfortune, by the 
 
 Advice of his Brother Vol, he pretended 
 To be an Adept in Cynogeticks , and propos’d 
 To hock the Country with an excellent 
 Breed of Hounds. Upon this, or feme 
 other Account^ he was appointed chief 
 Ranger or Huntfman General of Ire¬ 
 land ; in which Quality Mr. Scheffer knew 
 him, when he firli began to write this Poem. 
 
 Mars was of a very hot Conftituti- 
 on ; and various are his Amours record¬ 
 ed by the ancient Poets. His Intrigue 
 with Venus is a Story well known to every 
 School Boy. Homer and Ovid have in¬ 
 formed us, that he was taken in the very 
 A 61 , and expofed to the Deri lion of all 
 the Gods. Nor was he more fuccefsful 
 after his Fall. His Affair with Mrs. D. 
 is on Record in the Britijh Courts of Law ; 
 where he was tried and mulfled in the 
 Sum of Five thoufand Pounds. There 
 are indeed fome very ugly Circumftances 
 which blacken this Addion, and juflify 
 the Punifhment inflicted cn our Hero, 
 even in the Opinion of Men of the great- 
 eft Gallantry : For the Lady he debauch’d 
 was the Wife of his be l Friend, by whom 
 he was at that Time maintain’d, and in 
 whofe Houfe he lived. He perfuaded the 
 unfortunate Woman to rob her Husband, 
 that he might afterwards plunder her; 
 which having done, he turn’d her into the 
 Streets, and fuffered her to perifh for want 
 of common Necelfaries. Tir-Oen } who 
 
 has related the Particulars of this Affair, 
 concludes his Story with the following 
 Reflexion, Dubium ejl profetfo mihi , an 
 mulierem , an hofpitium violando plus vo- 
 luptatis cepit Mavors . Dubium quoque an 
 improbo minus doluit amicam y cujus amor 
 ejl perfpeftus , conficere , an virum , cut 
 maxima debet Beneficia , perdere. 
 
 I am really in doubt , whether Mars 
 took more Plea Jure in debauching his 
 Friend's Wife , or in violating the Rights 
 of Hofpitality ? Whether it concerned him 
 lefs to Jlarve an unhappy Woman , who 
 had given him the great ejl Proofs of her 
 Affe£t':on H or to deflroy the Peace of a Man 
 to whom he owed the greatejl Obligations ? 
 
 Wetjlein , in his Critical Differtation , 
 p. 23, has enumerated, in a farcaftical 
 Manner, the Exploits which our Hero 
 performed in the Low Countries 3 I mean 
 his Engagements with the Ladies. Ma¬ 
 dam de N. among others, became his Prey. 
 She was the Wife of a Dutch General, 
 the Count de N. a Man of great Honour, 
 and highly efteemed by all who knew him. 
 This Lady received from Sir Mars the fame 
 Marks of that Angular Humanity, with 
 which he had treated his Englifh Miftrefs.* 
 The Intrigue was publickly knownV, Ma¬ 
 dam de N. wasfeparated from the County 
 and her Gallant, who was obliged to fly 
 the Continent, to get out of the Reach of 
 an incenfed Husband, retired into this 
 I Hand. Here was the laft Scene of his 
 Action} and here he engaged in that unfor¬ 
 tunate Amour, which ended in his Mar¬ 
 riage ; a State that he always abhorred. In 
 fhort, he was compelled to make a Wife of 
 an old Miftrefs, with whom he had co¬ 
 habited for fourteen or fifteen Years before. 
 This was that famous Myra fo well 
 known throughout the Britijh Iflands. 
 
 Sir 
 
Book I. The TOAST. 
 
 So to read thy Memorial may Viceroy incline, g 
 
 And a Penlion beftow-or invite thee to dine ! 
 
 Sol was now in the Ocean ; his Horfes were dreft; 
 And the Houfhold of Thetis was order’d to reft. 
 
 When 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sir Mars was her third Husband. Even 
 during their Concubinage (he efteemed 
 him no otherwife than as one of her menial 
 Servants : But after their Marriage Ihe 
 treated him with the greateft Infolence: 
 She fquandered away his whole Fortune, 
 and reduced him to the loweft Circum- 
 flances. By repeated Provocations, our 
 Hero was at length roufed to Vengeance: 
 He was feized with that Sort of F ury and 
 Madnefs, which Homer afcribes to him ; 
 and which fometimes fupplies the Want 
 of true Courage: And on the very Day of 
 Myra's Metamorphofis, when by that 
 means fhe was become much more formi¬ 
 dable in her Perfon, he attacked her in 
 her own Caftle. For fome time the Battle 
 was doubtful, and Sir Mars was often in 
 great Peril. But at laft he obtained a com- 
 pleat Vi&ory, by fuddenly darting a full- 
 bottomed Peruke, powdered a la moderne , 
 in her Face; with which he had purpofe- 
 ly armed himfelf. A fubtle Invention, 
 fays Cuper , worthy the Genius of the 
 God of War, and the Imitation of all 
 modern Knights, who may hereafter be 
 engaged and unfortunately over-matched 
 by a Bearded Virago. This famous Battle, 
 which is the Argument of the fourth Book, 
 was fought 5 Iduum Martii , the Year be¬ 
 fore Mr. Scheffer publifhed his Poem, 
 
 Ver. 33. Leave thy Doxies and Dots , 
 &c. 
 
 Minus placeant; jam catu-li! 
 
 Neque cura fit pecu-li! 
 
 Peculi, i. e. Domejlicarum Meretricium. 
 
 All the Commentators juflify my Verlion 
 of this Word. Dornus Mortis Canibus 
 Venaticis Meretriculifique (in quas impetus 
 continue fiat) femper plena, fays Tir-Oen. 
 
 ^ er - 35 - So 1 ° read thy Memorial 
 See. 
 
 Sic & inter hellos bellus 
 Fias fenex ! Sic Libellus 
 Supplex tuus perlegatur ! 
 
 Rex Salarium largiatur, / 
 
 Coenam faldfm! - Cuunon r 
 
 datur ? \ 
 
 Sir Mars prefented a Memorial or Pe¬ 
 tition to every new Viceroy, fetting forth 
 the great Service and Honour he had done 
 the Government — by his Buck-Hounds: 
 and mode Illy praying an additional Penfion 
 not exceeding the Sum of ? 00 l.per annum to 
 be fettled on him for Life. His Memorial 
 was feldom read —— and never anfwered. 
 But he was fometimes invited to dine at 
 the CV'le, which gave him full Satisfacti¬ 
 on ; as it furnilhed the Occaf.on of that 
 famous Saying, which he had conflantly 
 in his Mouth, J’ay I’honneur de vivrt 
 avec les grands ! 
 
 Vcr. 37. Sol was now in the Ocean 
 
 &c. 
 
 Cum jam pridem in ocean- 
 uni ih condidiflet Pmn •, 
 Cimmfque equis, qui turn 
 Erar.t Thetidos, dormitum. 
 
 c Sd 
 
 v 
 
10 The T o A S T. Book I. 
 
 When his Godfhip, or curious to vifit old Night, 
 
 Xo fee how we fupply the Defedt of his Light 5 40 
 
 Or perhaps to invent a new Subject for Mirth, 
 
 Took a Fancy to ftrole for one Evening on Earth. 
 
 But he doft all his Rays, and his Bow he laid down: 
 For a God by his Enligns of Honour is known; 
 
 As an Idiot’s diftinguii&d by putting a Bib on, 45 
 And a great Chevalier by a Crofs and a Ribbon. 
 
 Tho’ the Magi allure us, the Sun is not proud, 
 
 Yet his Habit was made of the brighteft blue Cloud 
 Well embroider’d, and Ipangled: He feem’d a mere Beau; 
 For he knew that fine Clothes are a Paflport below. 50 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sol or Poean the Sun ; who was alfo 
 called Apollo , Phoebus , Cynthius , Delius y 
 &c. He is defcribed by the Poets and My- 
 thologifts as a beautiful Youth, his Hair 
 long and flowing with the Wind; his 
 Head crowned with Laurel, his Habit rich 
 and embroidered with Gold. In one 
 Hand he holds a Bow, and in the other 
 his Harp. When he appears as the Sun , 
 he rides in a magnificent Chariot drawn 
 by four Horfes, and ends his Stage in the 
 Weftern Ocean, This God was the Pa¬ 
 tron and Prelident of the Mufes, and the 
 Inventor of Mufic and Poetry. He was 
 well skilled in Phyfic and Divination. For 
 hi s peculiar Excellencies, he was the moft 
 honoured of all the Gods, and had the 
 richeft Temples. The Perfians (whofe 
 Priefts were called Magi J £ worfhiped the 
 Sun by the Name of Mitbra y and the 
 /Egyptians by that of OJyris. 
 
 Ver. 45. As an Idiot 9 s dijlingutjh'd 
 &c. 
 
 Ut cum falcias tu fa-tuis, 
 
 Bonanutrix, tuisfuis : 
 
 Ut cum phaleris Barones ; 
 
 Seu quos, O Rex bone, dones. 
 
 Cave auteiriy Mufa bona : 
 
 Sic deftgnas Regia dona ? 
 
 Pkalera mm PerifceUs ? 1 
 
 Cave tibi y Juris telis . C 
 
 Siccin 9 ? utrum, Leffor y velis. ^ 
 
 Our Author frequently interrupts him- 
 felf by a fhort Addrefs to his Mufe, as in 
 this Place. Thefe Digreflions, which are 
 all in the Gothick Manner, found well e- 
 nough in the Original, but cannot beea- 
 fily tranflated into Englijhy fo as to pre- 
 ferve the Dignity of the Poem. I have 
 therefore generally omitted them. 
 
 3 
 
 Nor 
 
Book L The T O A S T. 
 
 Nor his Trefles negle&ed now flow in the Wind, 
 
 But were furl’d, and with Art in a Silk Bag confin’d. 
 Who of all the fmart Toupees fo graceful appears ? 
 Who can pleafe the Nymphs more by producing his — 
 Ears? 
 
 From the Head of the Xiphias he cut off a Sword, 55 
 Fit to grace a new Mayor, tho’ he’s titled My Lord ; 
 For the Handle was Pearl, and the Scabbard Shagreen \ 
 And his Sword-Knot, unfully’d, had garter’d a Queen. 
 From a Tortoife-Shell Trident he fhap’d a neat Cane, 
 With a Gold Head adorn’d, tho’ the Work was but 
 plain. 60 
 
 Shone his Shoes with Gold Buckles: Well lin’d were 
 his Fobs 
 
 With a Watch of chas’d Gold, and a Purfe of Gold Cobs. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 55. From the Head of the Xi¬ 
 phias &c. 
 
 Occifoque Xiphi-a put- 
 a prtebere enfem caput•, 
 
 Quo vel novus Praetor gaudeat, 
 
 Si Mi-lordus idem audiat. 
 
 Xiphias , a Fift larger than a Dolphin , 
 by the Italians called Pefce Spada , by the 
 French , FEmpereur-, by the Germans , 
 Schwerdt Fijch y and by us the Sword-Fijh. 
 See a Defcription of it in Pliny, Oppian , 
 and in The Natural Hi/lory of 'Johan. 
 Johnjlon. In thelaft you have the Figure 
 ®f the Sword-Fj/h , which is alfo to be found 
 
 in the Hiftory of the Hottentots lately pub- 
 lifted. 
 
 Xiphia are likewife a Sort of Stars or 
 Comets which appear in the Form of a 
 Sword, in Mucronem faftieiata. Plin. 
 Nat. Hijl. 
 
 Ver. 62. — ■■ and a Purfe of Gold 
 Cobs. 
 
 Centum minte Philippe #, 
 
 Philippe#, fed au-reae, 
 
 Infuerunt in marfupio. 
 
 O ft hafce nit ! nii cupio. 
 
 A Gold Cob is a Spanijh Coin value 
 3 L H s. 
 
 C 2 Nor 
 
i2 The T o A S T. Book I. 
 
 Nor pronounce the good Mufe, who bedights him, too 
 bold : 
 
 For we know, when he pleales, the Sun can make Gold. 
 But he needs not to work, nor the Mule want a Plea; 65 
 For who doubts there is Plenty of Gold in the Sea ? 
 Thus his Godfhip equipt Tallies out from his Port, 
 
 And as fwift, as a Triton , thro’ Mare del Nort , 
 
 To thy Channel, O George! with aSpring-tide he flows; 
 And anon on Ierne 's fair Illand arofe. 70 
 
 Still the Stairs may be feen, in the Deep far extended, 
 (Mighty Work of the Sea Gods!) by which he afeended. 
 
 Giants Caufey -(For Sol, in his travelling Drefs, 
 
 Hieroglyphical Giants are us’d to exprefs.) 
 
 Over 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 72. (Mighty JVork of the Sea 
 GodsJ) — 
 
 Giants Caufey - 
 
 Mirum opus ccsrule-i 
 Viam extruxere Dei, 
 
 Giganteam nuncupantes : 
 
 Quippe exprimunt Gigantjes 
 Hieroglyp ici, curforis 
 Soiis robur & labores. 
 
 I need not here give any Account of 
 the Giants Caufey, a Place fo well known 
 to the Inhabitants of this Country. Such 
 however as are curious to fee a particular 
 Defcription of it may confult the Philojo - 
 phi cal Tranfaftions. But it will not be 
 amifs to inform the unlearned Reader, 
 
 \ 
 
 that the old ^Egyptians , who expreffed the 
 Meaning of whatever was facred among 
 them by myftical Characters, or the Pi¬ 
 ctures of various Creatures, ufed the Image 
 and Figure of a Giant to fignify the Sun. 
 The Greeks and Afiaticks (who derived 
 their Learning and moil of their Gods 
 likewife from the ^Egyptians) wherever 
 they built a Temple to the Sun, eredted 
 his Statue in the Form of a Giant : And 
 the Colojfus at Rhodes, one of the Wonders 
 of the World, was a Statue of the Sun 
 feventy Cubits high ; in which Illand he 
 was worfhiped with the greateft Venera¬ 
 tion. The Jews, after their Retreat 
 from /Egypt, tho’ they were forbid by 
 their Law to make Hieroglyphicks, or 
 theLikenefs of any Creatures, to exprefs 
 
 their 
 
Book I. The T O A S T. 13 
 
 Over Mountains and Bogs, fpeeding hence in a Line, 75 
 
 He arriv’d at Port Eblane exactly at nine. 
 
 Here he travers’d the Streets, every Bridge and each 
 Quay ; 
 
 (For the Turnings he often had noted by Day.) 
 
 Firft the Lamps he examin’d, concave and convex; 
 
 How the fame were fupply’d, with their various Af- 
 pe£ts: 8 a 
 
 But condemn’d the dull Glare, that would fcarcely fuffice 
 
 To diretft a Night-walker, who wanted good Eyes: 
 
 He remark’d, that fhort Links ferv’d to light home poor 
 Wits ; 
 
 That a Lanthorn mov’d {lowly before the rich Gits: 
 
 That the Traders become by their drinking more 
 dull, 85- 
 
 And the Bards debonnair, when their Bellies are full.. 
 
 " • To ; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 their Meaning and Devotion, yet intro¬ 
 duced the fame into all their Writings by 
 Way of Similies and Comparifons. T hus, 
 in the molt excellent Poem now extant in 
 the Hebrew Language, Pfalm xix. the 
 Sun is compared to a Giant rejoicing to run 
 his CourJ'e. 
 
 Yer. 76. He arriv'd at Port Eblane 
 &c. 
 
 Hora nona jam fonuit •, 
 
 Ad Eblanum portum fuit, - 
 
 Sed Eblana portus qui ? num y 
 Idem tortus, qui -Dublinum ? > 
 
 Ehem idem : nomen binum. > 
 
 Port Eblane, now called Dublin. 
 
 Ver. 85. That the Traders See. 
 
 His ingenium afininum ; 
 
 Bacchus illis dat divinum •, 
 
 Rifus, jocos. Quidni ita ? 
 Vinum Poetarum vita. 
 
 When this Poem was firft publilhed, 
 fome Bon Companions immediately cri- 
 
 ticifed 
 
14 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 To the God were more grateful the well fcented Flames 
 Of the Flambeaux, conducing the Chairs of high Dames: 
 How inviting the Belles! how diffulive the Blaze! 
 HowtheirEyes—and the Glafles reflected the Rays! 90 
 But aftonifh’d he look’d, where his Excellence fhone 
 In a Berlin, whofe Guard was a counterfeit Moon : 
 Such an Orb, as a Deluge of Rain had endur’d, 
 Unextinguifh’d by Winds, and by Clouds unoblcur’d: 
 Phoebe views with much Envy a Rival fo bright, 95 
 Who affumes her own Form, and eclipfes her Light! 
 How the Streets were adorn’d, when his Godfhip had feen, 
 He would know, how the Houfes were lighted within: 
 So to Court he repairs to make Obfervation; 
 
 For at Court muft needs be the grand Illumination. 100 
 Here the Bougies and Tapers foon drew his Attention: 
 Much the Form he admir’d, much he prais’d the In¬ 
 vention. 
 
 Such a Radiance can Matter, thus moulded, dilplay! 
 Can a Night-Beam be made to refemble the Day! 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 tkifed thisPaflage, and raillied our Author 
 as a Man unacquainted with the fociable 
 Difpofition and Cuftom of my Country¬ 
 men, fince he reprefents the Poets and 
 good Citizens of Dublin leaving their 
 Bottle fo early as nine o’ Clock.-But 
 
 Tir-Oen, apologizing for his Friend Schef- 
 fer, fays, it was the Eve of a Feftival ; 
 that they had all dined at the Tavern that 
 Day, and were then but coming from 
 Dinner, with Intent to return about ten 
 to their Evening’s Compotation. 
 
 As 
 
Book I. The TOAST. 15 
 
 As if this was his Noon-tide, his Sight was as clear; 105 
 Nor himfelf could caufe Obje&s more plainly appear. 
 He diftinguifh’d Lord John by his noble Greek Mien; 
 And obferv’d all who circled the graceful Vice Queen: 
 Haughty Dames fet with Di’monds, and ftiffen’d with 
 Gold ; 
 
 Whom to drefs for one Day half a County is fold : no 
 Mitred Priests, whobelidesagood Confcience and Wife, 
 Here enjoy all the other good things of this Life : 
 
 Who 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 107. He dijlinguijh'd Lord John 
 
 &c. 
 
 Eccum Regem GraecifTantem, 'J 
 Stantem, dantem, adulantem i > 
 Dantem fed & expettantem : J 
 Dum fe rebus fuis aptat, 
 
 Ac fuffragia omnium captat. 
 
 The Reader may find an Account of 
 this noble Perfon Book III. 
 
 Ver. 110. Whom to drefs for one Day 
 
 &c. 
 
 Et nunc bene parta patrum 
 Vendidit luxuria matrum : 
 
 Fiunt mitra, aurea palla, 
 Anadema, itwn» 
 
 Mr. Scheffer could not avoid obferving, 
 during his Refidence in Dublin , the Luxu¬ 
 ry and Extravagance of our Ladies, and 
 the Richnefs of their Habits, Equipage, 
 Furniture, &c. And it muft have afto- 
 nilhed him to fee a Woman’s Head-Drefs, 
 without any Ornament ofGold or Jewels, 
 fold for more Money, than a King of 
 Ulfler would formerly have demanded for 
 
 the Maintenance of himfelf and his Civil 
 Lift ; or, than at this Day would be fuf- 
 ficient to cloath a whole Nation of Lap¬ 
 landers. 
 
 Ver. hi. Mitred Priejls , who he¬ 
 ftdes &c. 
 
 Prope Nymphas Epi-fcopi , 
 
 Aulas munimenta, tropi : 
 
 Queis altifiima prudentia ; 
 
 Bona quoque confcientia: 
 
 (Quid prudentia ? Ars vivendi: 
 Confcientia? Transferendi :). 
 Ditat, ornat quos In-fula •, T 
 
 Capit fovet Uxor-cula •, > 
 
 Auget ingeniofa gula. J 
 
 Hierarchias O quarn colunt! 
 
 Sed quas colunt, quam mox I 
 nolunt! 
 
 Et quas nolunt, valde volunt. 
 Seni-jugi (fcit Hor ; fino ; J 
 
 Quod & chartis nunc illino) \ 
 Illis jure funt divino. J 
 
 Hor , according to Tir-Oen , is the Di¬ 
 minutive of Hortenfusy the Name of a 
 certain great Prelate. 
 
 Mr. 
 
16 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 Who refufe,what they ask, which to Lay-men foundsodd; 
 And are forc’d to accept, tho the Gifts are of God, 
 Fair Revenues and Lordfhips: Hortensius and I know 
 That Epifcopal Coaches are Jure Divino . 11 6 
 
 Then he view’d the fair Warriors, the Pride of ■ ■— 
 
 All be-powder’d a top, and be-broider d all over; 
 
 Ever ready for Honour to hazard their Lives, 
 
 To repel all our Foes, and to folace our Wives, i 20 
 And among ’em he noted a Wight of great Fame, 
 Who refembled the Heroes in colour and Name; 
 
 Bully 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer here exprefles the greateft 
 Refpe& for the Rt. Revd. Fathers of our 
 Church. And indeed it ought to be ac¬ 
 knowledged, even by thofe who are Ene¬ 
 mies to that Order, that the exemplary Pi¬ 
 ety and profound Erudition of thefe moft 
 excellent Prelates, juftly entitle them to the 
 Efleem of all Mankind. Such at leaft, 
 are my Sentiments. But I muft own, 
 that the Latin Commentators are of a dif¬ 
 ferent Opinion. They will not allow 
 this Paflage to be intended as a Compli¬ 
 ment to our good Bifhops. They explain 
 it in a ludicrous and ironical Manner; 
 and Tir-Oen particularly pretends to ju¬ 
 stify this Interpretation, by our Author’s 
 Addrefs to B. H. in his third Book. 
 But of that in its proper Place. In the 
 mean time, I muft defire the Reader to 
 make large Allowances when he meets 
 with any Heterodox Opinions in Mr. 
 Scheffers Commentators; and toconfider 
 them as prejudiced by Party and Educati¬ 
 on. 'Tir-Oen is a Papift, at leaft he is one 
 in his Heart ; and Cuper and IVetJiein are 
 rigid Calvinifts. 
 
 Ver. 121. And among 'tm he noted 
 &c. 
 
 Hifce en! permiftus (cui dem 
 Veftem, vultum, robur idem, 
 Titulumque, vanum, binum, 
 Militarem & bovinum) 
 
 Stat Bipemtifer Satelles ; 
 
 Plenus vini, gioriae, fcllis : 
 
 Cui lingua fine fine, 
 
 Pedtoreque corpus fine. V 
 
 Appelletur Milo — mi ne. J 
 
 Mi ne , i. e. ne ?nihi noceaty fays Tir- 
 Oen. This Captain Milo was a tall Mi¬ 
 litary-Civil Officer, a great Enemy to 
 our Author, and to all Men of Wit and 
 Learning. 
 
 For their Novids and Blutarchs, and 
 Omers and Stuffs 
 
 He affirms they don't fignify one Pinch 
 of Snuff, 
 
 Hamilton’* Bawn. 
 
 He was Myra's favourite Bully, and 
 expefted to be promoted to an higher 
 3 Poll 
 
Book I. The TOAST. i 7 
 
 Bully Milo I wot, a huge B-x Chief, 
 
 Who derives both his Title and Prowefs from Beef. 
 Then he mark’d the trim Pages, well skill’d in In¬ 
 
 triguing ; I25 
 
 And the noble Patricians Brib’d, Bribing and Briguing: 
 And the Patriots, whofe Speeches are honeft and bold; 
 Who are not to be bought — but with Places or Gold. 
 Next to thefe in Difguife flood a Dozen young Friers ; 
 And a Group of Long Robe-men, Knights, Sergeants 
 and Squires ; !^o 
 
 Solemn Sages, deep read in the Magic of Coke, 
 
 Who confound every Senfe by explaining his Book: 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 of Honour by her Intereft. I never faw 
 him wave his Bonnet to the Sorcerefs 
 without calling to mind thofe Lines of 
 Cleveland , 
 
 The T rees, like Teamen of the Guard, 
 Serving more for Pomp than Ward , &c. 
 
 The Reader may find a further Account 
 of this Gentleman in another Place, where 
 the Poet calls him Thrafo. 
 
 Ver. 127. And the Patriots, Sec. 
 
 £t qui nunquam nifi auro 
 Patriam vendunt •, digni lauro, 
 Pare cum ratiocinentur •, 
 
 Cruce, cum tergiverfentur. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer here exprefles a juft Abhor¬ 
 rence of all Mock-Patriots and Deferters. 
 
 Ver. 131. Solemn Sages deep read in 
 the Magic See. 
 
 Eccos nunc Praeftigiatores, 
 
 Vel Praeftitibus majores! 
 
 Qui obfeurius explanando, 
 
 Ac deterius emendando, 
 
 Quicquid commentatur Cokus 
 Ifte legum Hocus-Pocus , 
 
 Faciunt : audent, contra qua.' fas. 
 Quae corrigere eft nefas, 
 
 Famae ergo, feu euphonic, 
 
 Ut Rex ifte Tarraconia: 
 
 Apagefis! Textus hiat; 
 
 Nec vox fufficit Dei, at ’ V 
 Emendandum magnum Fiat, j 
 
 The Poet in the laft four Lines alludes 
 to a Saying of Alphonso X. King of 
 Arragon, which is reported by Lipftus , 
 viz. That if God had advifed with hun in 
 the Creation , he could have given him good 
 Counfel. 
 
 D 
 
 In 
 
T7 
 
 18 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 In the Grant made to Addin would find out a Flaw, 
 
 And amend the great Fiat -according to Law. 
 
 Ev’ry Belle he furvey’d, gave the God new Delight, 13 5 
 And inclin’d him to flay in the Caftle all Night: 
 
 When, to others unfeen, roguifh Cupid he fpies, 
 Shooting Arrows at random from Claras bright Eyes: 
 Rigid Dame! whom his Youth, nor his Voice might 
 perfuade, 
 
 By her Conquefts unmov’d, or the Wounds fhe had 
 made. 140 
 
 Hard the Fate of a Lover ! Winds temper the Heat \ 
 And our Hunger is quickly appeas’d, if we eat: 
 
 Water quenches the Thirft: Wine our Cares will remove: 
 
 But, alas! Love is only extinguifh’d by Love. 
 
 Well experienc’d, the God to fecure his own Heart, 145 
 Left again he be Daphne 'd, refolv’d to depart : 
 
 And in Night-Scenes intent to accumulate Knowledge, 
 He propos’d to examine each. Room in the College : 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 145. — — To fecure his own 
 
 Heart , 
 
 Left again he he Daphne’d &c. 
 Metuit quippe, ne (quae rara 
 Avis) cafta, bella Clara , 
 
 Ne aliena haec uxor 
 Violaret molle cor ; 
 
 Ne, quae ilium fie fic af- 
 fccit, fiat altera Daph -, 
 
 2 
 
 Bella Clara. Clara , or Clara Eugenia, 
 was a Woman of Quality who lived in 
 Dublin when Mr. Scheffer wrote his 
 Poem. She was a beautiful Perfon, and 
 a Lady of great Wit. and Virtue. 
 
 Altera Daph . Daphne was the Daugh¬ 
 ter of the River Peneus , who at her own 
 Defire was changed into a Laurel by her 
 Father, to avoid Apollo\ Amours. 
 
 He 
 
Book I. The TO AS T. 19 
 
 He had heard of hard Students deflroy’d by Night- 
 Damps ; 
 
 And had read many Authors, that fmelt of the Lamps; 
 But retiring in hafte, when they open’d the Ball, 151 
 In the Guard Room he joftled Sir Mars and old Vol: 
 And by Contact one God can difcover another; 
 
 As a learned Free-Mafon by Signs knows a Brother. 154 
 Now Sir Mars and old Vol (who had oft been forgiven) 
 For repeated Offences were exiled from Heaven; 
 
 On the Earth for fome Ages condemn’d to abide, 
 
 And imbodied as Mortals, in Flefh to be try d : 
 Cafuiftical Sages have offer’d great Odds, 
 
 That they ne’er will return to th’Affembly of Gods. 160 
 But Inquiries fublime, fo far out of thy reach, 
 
 O ! my Mufe leave to Clerks, who are skilful to preach: 
 And proceed now to fay, How polite was Sol s Greeting 1 
 How rejoic’d the Vejovites at fuch a Chance-Meeting ! 
 
 Mars 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. iKK. Now Sir Mars and old 
 Yol &?*. 
 
 Tandem, faepius cum peccafifent, 
 
 Vol & Majors exulaffent. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer does not any where men¬ 
 tion the Crimes for which Vd and Mars 
 were baniflhed from Heaven. But in the 
 following Lines he infinuates, tho’ with 
 great Modefty, that they have fcarce any 
 jchaiice to return thither again. 
 
 Yer. 163.- How polite was ScVs 
 
 Greeting! &c. 
 
 Quam benigne Sol falutat ? 
 
 R e-Vejovis Proles. Putat 
 Recte rem Venator fenex ; 1 
 
 Brevem praebeat tibi Phoenix S 
 Coenam, Pheebe-, vina, quaenix.J 
 
 Re-Vejovis proles, i. e. Refalutat. Virta> 
 qua nix. i. e, Vina , qua nix temperet. 
 
 D 2 Thus 
 
20 
 
 The TOAST. Book I 
 
 Mars invited the Stranger to flip in the Park. 165 
 “ ’Tis too far, (quoth the Collier ) too late and too dark: 
 “ For the Purpofe what Place is fo fit as a Tavern >" 
 And without a Word more he led on to the Cavern, 
 Where fo oft he vouchfafes with his 'Trulla to dine; 
 And where, Ne£tar furpafling, he promis’d old Wine. 
 Now the Supper befpoke, the Trium-dei fate j 1 71 
 
 Mars began to ask Queftions concerning 
 
 
 “ Who 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 IX, V 
 
 c nix. j 
 
 Thus it is in Grierfori s Edition. But 
 in the Amjlerdam Copy I find this Paflage, 
 as follows, 
 
 O quam cultum Solis! 
 
 Vejovis dum gaudet proles. 
 
 Incipit Venator fenex, 
 
 PiTebeat ccenam tibi Phoenix 
 
 Phoebe, brevem •, vina, quae 
 
 Here Mr. Scheffer calls his two Heroes, 
 Mars and Vcl, Vejovis Proles , the Off- 
 fpringof Vejupiter or Bad Jupiter, a God 
 whom the ancient Romans worlhipped, 
 not out of Hopes of any Favour, but 
 as the American Indians are faid to wor¬ 
 ship the Devil, that he might not do 
 them any Mifchief. Wetjlein is of Opi¬ 
 nion, that our Author, by this Appella¬ 
 tion would infinuate the ill Qualities of 
 his Heroes, and that they delighted in do¬ 
 ing Injury to all Perfons, who had the 
 Misfortune to be within their reach. 
 
 Phoenix is the Name of the King’s 
 Park near Dublin . 
 
 Ver. 167. — What Place is fo fit as 
 a tavern ? &c. 
 
 Jam migremus in tabernam, 
 
 Dixit: duxit ad cavernam ; 
 
 Ssepius ubi affumfitque 
 
 Vcl convivam, iniitaue 
 ' Trullam fuam ; ubi holpes 
 
 Vincet omnes (ut eft mos) ipes, 
 
 Dans potatum purif-fimum, 'y 
 
 Vinum bimum, velquadrimum, S 
 
 Nedtarique funil-limum. C 
 
 There is a littleobfcure Tavern in Dub¬ 
 lin, called Vil 's Hole. To this Place, 
 while he was Surintendant of the Finan¬ 
 ces, he frequently ufed to retire, to relax 
 his Mind, and folace with the Mud- 
 Nymphs of Liffy. 
 
 Trulla , a famous Mud-Nymyh, Voi\ 
 favourite Miftrefs. 
 
 Yer. 172. Mars began to ask Quefli- 
 ons &c. 
 
 Multa rogitabat Mavor.s: 
 
 An quid re in aliqua fora ? 
 
 Quid ZeuV Pater ? An lenelcit ? 
 
 Juno in immenfum crefcit ? 
 
 An quis Regi can it votiun ? 
 
 An Regina jam Fac-totum ? 
 
 Efto ! fed quid Rex turn ? O turn . J 
 
 Mars, after his Fall, fet up for a Pc 
 litician, and pretended to underftand d 
 Conftitution and Intereft of all Natior 
 better than any Man. 
 
 I ai 
 
21 
 
 Book I The TOAST. 
 
 <c Who has now the Afcendant in Jupiter's Houfe ? 
 “ Does the Monarch grow old, and fubmitto his Spoufe ? 
 “ Who is moft in his Favour, young Ganny or 
 Hebef 175 
 
 “ Has he found a fit Match for his Daughter Mifs Phcebe ¥ 
 “ Are your Triple Alliances like to hand good ? 
 w Are the 'Titan Pretenders yet wholly fubdu’d ? 
 
 “ Was 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 I am furprifed that the ( 0 turn) in the 
 laft Verfe Ihould not be underftood by the 
 Latin Commentators, when the Senle of 
 it appears fo plain. An Regina , See. Is 
 Queen Juno now the Factotum ? What 
 then is King Jupiter ? O turn. A mere 
 Cypher. 
 
 Yer. 175. Who is mop in his Favour 
 &c. 
 
 Quis nunc Regis pocillator 
 O wxivet ? Ardet Pater 
 Trois filium, fiveHeben? 
 
 Stabili conjugio Phasben 
 
 Adhuc junxit?-Pejeratum 
 
 Triplex foedus ? An firmatum ? 
 
 Young Ganny.] Gammedes the Son of 
 Tros, King of Troy. 'Jupiter having 
 transformed himfelf into an Eagle, feized 
 little Gantmede and carried him up into 
 Heaven, where he made him his Cup¬ 
 bearer. His Daughter Hebe likewife fer- 
 ved him in the fame Quality, who was a 
 Girl of extraordinary Beauty, and was 
 worfhipped by the Ancients as the Goddefs 
 ofYouth. Vol had formerly been Cupbear¬ 
 er to Jupiter , Jxit was removed to make 
 room for Gantmede . The Irijh Chrono¬ 
 logies may from hence be able to fix the 
 
 time when our black Hero firft began to 
 play his Tricks, and lofe the Favour of 
 the Gods ; for 'tis now more^han 3000 
 Years fnce the Rape of Ganjmede. 
 
 Phabe , called alfo Diana , Luna , Cyn¬ 
 thia, &c. the Daughter of Jupiter , and 
 Sifter of the Sun. T ho’ fhe was demanded 
 in Marriage by many of the greater Gods, 
 yet (he refufed to change her Condition, 
 and chofe to live for ever in a State of 
 Virginity. But fee what is faid of her 
 by Mars y Book II. 
 
 Triplex Foedus.- 
 
 Our Author here means the Original 
 League and Compadt between Jupiter , 
 Neptune and Pluto , which they entered 
 into for the better ordering and diredling. 
 the Affairs of .this World. 
 
 Ver. 178. Are the Titan Pretenders 
 &c. 
 
 An Titania pubes poicit 
 
 Regna fua ? an agnofeit 
 
 Magni nunc imperium Jovis ? 
 
 Magni nunc O. O vis! O Vis ! 
 
 Titan the Son of Ccelus and Terra , 
 was excluded from his Birthright by his 
 
 younger 
 
22 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 * Was there not a new Star very lately call d forth ? 
 
 “ For methinks I efpy a young Bear in the North. 180 
 « Can you tell a new Tale of a ^^-Transformation ? 
 « Or intriguing that Way, is it grown out of Fafhion ? 
 « Modern Spinfters, experienc’d in all Mafquerade, 
 
 “ Will no more by a Bull or a Swan be betray’d ; 
 
 “ But refiftlefs the Pow’r, tho’the Figure be old, 185 
 <c Which addreffes the Dame in a Shower of Gold.” 
 
 He proceeds next enquiring, “ What Gods are aflign’d 
 a To be Tutelars here, and to govern Mankind ? 
 
 a Are 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 younger Brother Saturn ; he afterwards 
 made an Attempt to recover his Kingdom; 
 but was defeated by Jupiter ; who upon 
 his Victory, made all the Gods fwear Fi¬ 
 delity to himfelf to confirm his Ufurpati- 
 on, and prevent any future Danger from 
 the Race of the Titans. 
 
 Magni nunc O. O is here to be ex¬ 
 plained in the fame Senfe as 0 turn. See 
 before Ver. 172. 
 
 Ver. 180. For methinks I efpy a young 
 Bear &c. 
 
 Nam Arctoi urfam poJi y 
 
 Tertiam vidi. Iftam coli ? C 
 
 Iftam lociari Soli ! j 
 
 There are two Conftellations called the 
 Greater and the Lefier Bear. Sir Mars 
 pretended to have difcovered a new Star, 
 which he called the Yeung Bear. But I 
 am inclined to think this Expreflion is to 
 he under flood literally, and that the 
 Knight intends it as a Compliment to 
 home great Prince or Prmcefsin the North, 
 
 Ver. 181. Can you tell a new Tale cf 
 a Jove &c. 
 
 Quid de Jove fecit Amor ? 
 
 Qtu ad atria coeli clamor 
 Jampervenit? anne bovis 
 Hem mugitus, bovis Jovis ? 
 Aureus imber, raucus cygnus, 
 Rex & Pater joco dignus ? 
 
 At at, quae in his diebus 
 -Melius cavent fuis rebus, 
 
 Haud afiuefeunt pati taurum 
 Nymphae noftrte j led vel Mau-/ 
 rum, C 
 
 SenemMaurum, qui fert aurum. j 
 
 Jupiter deceived Europa in the Shape of 
 a Bull; Lada in that of a Swan, and 
 dropt into Dauae’s Bofom in a Shower of 
 Gold. But Ia?n not of Opinion with Sir 
 Mars, fays my Countryman Tir-Oen, 
 that this laji Stratagem will always fuc- 
 ceed. Tho' I mujl allow, that the Knight 
 forms his Judgment from his own Experi¬ 
 ence, for he always prattifed this Method , 
 
Book I. The TOAST. 23 
 
 “ Are our Kindred intent to preferve, and deftroy 
 “ Mighty Kings, and their Kingdoms, as whilom at 
 
 Troy ? * 9 ° 
 
 “ Who has ta’en from the Perfian Ufurper his Trophies ? 
 “ Who fo kind to reftore the old Race of the Sophies P 
 “ Who fo wide has extended the Auftran Domain ? 
 
 “ Who inftrudted in King-craft the Donna of Spain P 
 u Who permitted the Romans to Fawn and Deceive ? 195 
 « Who has fix’d the light Gaul , and has taught him to- 
 Weave ? 
 
 u Who bellow’d on Britannia fo potent a Fleet ? 
 
 « Why fo fearlefs her Sons-but unskilful to Treat ? 
 
 « Have the Dutch any Gods ? or — perhaps they don’t 
 want ’em, *99 
 
 M Since fo faithful are found the good Pagods of Bantam P 
 « Why are Men of Ierne depriv’d of all Trade; 
 
 « Nor a Patron allow’d, but the Saint they have made 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 till at length he had not enough left to pur- 
 chafe a little Irilh Harlot — Nec habet 
 quod det Meretricula Hiberniece obolo 
 mer cabl'd. 
 
 Ver. 193. Who fo wide has extended 
 the Auftr’an Domain. 
 
 Quare Ccefar , qui Auflriacus, 
 
 (At fi mentem fpe&es, qui acus,) 
 
 Av«| Avtfuv, dura, pura 
 
 Per tot populos dat jura ? 
 
 Tuasres, O Caefar, cur a. 
 
 Our Author undoubtedly intends thefe 
 Lines as a Compliment to the prefent 
 Emperor of Germany. But the Cafe of 
 that Monarch hath been much altered 
 fince Scheffer wrote his Poem. 
 
 “ Who 
 
24 The TOAST. Book L 
 
 <c Who is ever controul’d by the Speech of Vice-King ; 
 
 “ Nor has yet obtain’d leave to reftore his own Spring ? 
 “ Ah! if thus ye reject your own People’s Complaints, 
 
 “ And to Mortals fubjed: the good Lares and Saints: 206 
 “ Even Pro-Excellencies will rule us with Rods, 
 
 “ And your Vice-Roys will fancy, that they are Vice- 
 Gods.” 
 
 Unconcern’d, as una&ive in War or in Peace, 
 
 (So the Danger’s remote, and himfelf be at Eafe,) 210 
 Heavy Vd, looking wifely, then cafting fide-leer, 
 Only ask’d a few Queftioris, and all with a Sneer. 
 
 £ ‘ Who 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Spe< 5 tans lumine obliquo 
 Congerrones, & iniquo ; 
 
 lpfutn , credit ores qui , quo. 
 
 Ver. 203. Who is ever controul'd 
 ■&c. 
 
 Sede fua nunc excufllu. 
 
 In magiftri verba Julius 
 Divus pauper heu! jurare, 
 
 Nefcit fontem reftaurare; 
 
 Nequic luos revocare. 
 
 St. Patrick’s Well in Dublin was fa¬ 
 mous for its excellent Water. And great 
 Numbers of Pilgrims reforted thither eve¬ 
 ry Year. But a little before Mr. Scheffer 
 wrote his Poem, this Spring became dry, 
 and has not yet been recovered. However, it 
 cannot with any Colour of Reafon be pre¬ 
 tended, that this Misfortune was owing to 
 the Tyranny and Oppreffion of the Go¬ 
 vernment, as Sir Mars here infinuates. 
 
 _ 
 
 7 er * c? 11 * Heavy \ol locking wifely 
 &c. 
 
 Philo-fophum ore, vultu 
 Vol mentitur, licet ftuitu’ * 
 
 Vol had fuch a Command of the Muf- 
 cles of his Face, that he could form his 
 Countenance to exprefs any Paflion or Cha¬ 
 racter he thought fit to afTume. He could 
 put on the Face ofBufinefs and Authori¬ 
 ty* of Indolence and Pleafure, as it fuited 
 his Defign or Inclination. To the Com¬ 
 panions of his idle Hours he appeared a 
 Buffoon . Among the Mud-Nymphs of 
 Tiffy , or the Mountain-Nymphs of Wick¬ 
 low he wore the Afpect of a Satyr. In his 
 Glafs-Houfe or Colliery he always looked 
 like a bufy Philofopher. In the Prefence 
 of the Lord Lieutenant or Lords Juftices 
 he always looked like a Fool . I remem¬ 
 ber to have heard the following Epigram, 
 when Sir Mars , (who was then a great 
 Favourite at Court) firft introduced Vol 
 to the D, of 0 . 
 
 V 
 
Book I The TOAST. 25 
 
 “ Who above are your Smiths? Are they Drunkards or 
 Fools, 
 
 “ Who, ufurping my Forges, have fpoil’d all my Tools ? 
 <c How dishonour'd is Jove by their Bungling and 
 Blunders? 215 
 
 “ For the Darts that fall here, are but fecond-rate 
 Thunders. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 If your Grace it may pleafe ! 
 
 Iprefentyou a Smithy who was ten Years 
 at Schooly 
 
 He’s a very wife Many tho’ he looks like 
 a Fool . 
 
 And (rejoin'd the rough Kern) all allow , 
 who have feen us y 
 
 It is thisy my good Lordy makes the Dif- 
 f’rence between us .. 
 
 Tir-Oen fays, that Vol had naturally a 
 grave, unmeaning Countenance. Cupery 
 in his Differtation de Imagine Voleani Hi - 
 herniciy affents, that Vol's natural Face 
 or Look was unmeaning ; but infills that 
 his Gravity was affected. 
 
 Vol vult videri Gravis , & ejl Gravis. 
 
 Cup. Difiert. Crit. 
 
 But, however he looked, it is certain 
 that Vol was a fhrewd, cunning Fellow. 
 The Repartee above mentioned, upon his 
 being prefented to the D. of O. is a fufli- 
 
 cient Proof of his Wit-and how 
 
 could he want Undemanding, who was 
 able to cheat a whole Nation ? 
 
 Ver. 213. Who above are your Smiths 
 
 &c^ 
 
 Quinam fabri meas vices ? 
 
 Annon ebrii ? Opifices S 
 
 Di hofeine, tute dices ? j 
 
 It muff be allowed, that Vol was a 
 moft excellent Mechanick, and finifhed 
 his Work with fuch Art and Dexterity, 
 as not to be equalled by any of his Suc- 
 ceflors. It would be impoflible to re¬ 
 count the various Inftruments, Imple¬ 
 ments Utenfils, Tools, Arms, Toys, 
 as Swords, Bucklers, 7'hunderbolts, 
 Thimbles, Bracelets, Crooks, Hooks, 
 Helmets, Spears, Kettles, Pots, Cups, 
 Tripods, Chains, Chariots, Crowns, 
 Rattles, Sceptres, &c. which Vol had 
 made for the Ufeof the other Gods, or 
 for Prefents to fuch Heroes as he favoured. 
 But if the Reader is curious to be more 
 particularly informed, let him confult 
 Francifcus Junius de Piftura Veterum y 
 and his Catalogue of Mechanicks, among 
 whom he will find Vol making a very 
 confiderable Figure. 
 
 E 
 
 tc When 
 
2(5 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 “ When our Brother Mars bellows, more dreadful the 
 Voice! 
 
 “ Or when Elrington thunders, he makes as much Noife! 
 u Proper Weapons can fuch Operators devife 
 <£ For the Blue-ey’d Virago, fo curious and nice? 220 
 « I’m allur’d, that the Mgis is cover’d with Ruft, 
 
 « That the Gorgon s Head now only ferves for a Bull. 
 u Vol is gone, and there is not another has Skill 
 To reflore the dire Look, or its Virtue to kill ! 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 217. When our Brother Mars 
 bellows &c. 
 
 Hem inertia tela tua, 
 
 O ZsuV, cedunt tonitrua 
 Marti noftro reboanti * 
 
 Elringtono intonanti. 
 
 *Tis no wonder, that the Voice of Sir 
 Mars fhould be more dreadful than Thun¬ 
 der, fince we are allured by Homer , that 
 when our Hero was wounded by Diomede 
 he roared fo loud, that the Sound reached 
 the Heavens, and made the flouted: War¬ 
 riors tremble. 
 
 O S’ Ififccat %U?iKlOi ’AfUS 
 ^Oi T<rov %' S See. 
 
 Elringtono intonanti. Mx. Thomas El¬ 
 rington was a famous Actor, and for feme 
 time had the foie Management of the Dub¬ 
 lin Theatre. ’Tis laid, Vol was his 
 Thunder-maker. 
 
 Ver. 219. Proper Weapons &c. 
 Fruftra curiofa petit 
 Arma virgo : neque metit 
 Meffes fuas. Ifti fabri 
 Arma faciant ? fabri glabri. 
 Anne cafiidem TKoeoK<Hotio, 
 Quam nec ego, nec Steropes, 
 Induat apte ? Ferru-gine 
 certe te£t«s, fine 
 Qit# nil valeant Divae minse. 
 
 } 
 
 Mars bellows with the Pain , 
 
 Loud as the Roar encountring Armies yields 
 When Jhooting Millions Jhake the thundering 
 Field: 
 
 Both Armies ft art, and trembling gaze 
 around , 
 
 And Earth and Heavn rebellow to the 
 Sound. Pope. 
 
 Glaucopis is a Name given to Pallas or 
 Minerva . Seethe Note/ 7 ; 112. Book II. 
 
 The Eg is was the Shield of Pallas^ on 
 which die carried the Head of Medufa y 
 one of the Gorgons ; which turned all who 
 looked upon it int9 Stone. 
 
 Mgidaque horrifc&m turbatce Palladis 
 arma Virp- 
 
 “ But 
 
Book I. The TO AS T. 27 
 
 / 
 
 “ But for thee, my good Phoebus , is chiefly my Care 1225, 
 * Who thy Axle can mend, when ’tis out of Repair ? 
 
 “ Much I fear, that the Work is but clumflly done r 
 “For I’ve lately remark’d many Spots in the Sun. 
 
 “ For 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Yer. 226. Who thy Axle can mend &c. 
 Veftrum, vitium cum fece-rit, 
 Axem quis reftitu-erit ? 
 
 Vol made the Golden Chariot of the Sun, 
 aid kept it in repair to the Day of his 
 Exile. The Axle and Wheels of this 
 Glorious Vehicle are recorded as his Ma¬ 
 iler-piece by the old Poets and Mytholo- 
 g fts. But I have been informed by fome 
 ktelligent Mechanicks, that he hath late¬ 
 ly out-done himfelf, in an Axle and Pair 
 o' Wheels that he made for the Lord Vif- 
 count A. which move the greateft Weight 
 without the Aftiftance of Men, Horfes, 
 Oxen, Afies, tzfc. and in all refpedls ex¬ 
 cel the former. 
 
 This wonderful Machine may not im¬ 
 properly be here produced to vindicate that 
 famous Paffage in the eighteenth Book of 
 the Iliad (for which the old Bard has been 
 fc feverely raillied by the Criticks) where 
 our Vol is faid to have made for the Ufeof 
 his own Houfe twenty Tripods that would 
 rrove of themfelves from place to place, 
 and go and come as they were ordered. 
 
 Tpfoolttg yap iiUcirt ncA iTiVfcif 
 'Er&fJtjtPcti rnp) To?%op i6?ecGioi (Aiyupoto- 
 Xfvreec Jtj c r<p' Ino xyx-Aa S’*}*!*, 
 
 v O<Pp* cl ctvTof/jUTui Shop JvctocIxt 1 ayava 
 
 OLVTi$ laifJLOC VtCl'oLTO, SouifJljOL tlift&aci. 
 
 Full twenty Tripods for his Hall he fram'd. 
 That plac'd on living wheels of majfy Gold , 
 fiVond'rous to tell!) injlinft with Spirit roll'd 
 F^om place to place, around the hlejl abides, 
 Sdf-mov'd, obedient to the Beck of Gods. 
 
 Pope. 
 
 Arijlotle makes mention of thefe Tri¬ 
 pods in his Politicks, Book i.Chap . 4. and 
 ferns to give Credit to the Poet’s Relati¬ 
 
 on. And I am confident no body will 
 doubt the truth of it, who has feen Lord 
 A.’s Carriage. For if Vol in his fimple 
 State of Humanity, can invent fuch an 
 ufeful Machine, which has not only the 
 Power of Self-moving, but will likewife 
 carry or draw twenty or thirty Ton 
 weight from one place to another, ft) all 
 we doubt, when he was of the Number of 
 the Gods, whether he could make a few- 
 joint-ftools run upon Wheels about his 
 Hall ? Which indeed is no more than any 
 Jugler may undertake to do; and much 
 lefs than Harlequin Faujlus has frequently 
 performed without any Toil or Labour, 
 to the great Satisfaflion of the Spedlators.. 
 
 - A little after this Account of the' 
 
 Tripods, Homer relates (and by the way 
 ’tis a much more incredible Story, how¬ 
 ever it has efcaped the Cenfure of the Cri- 
 ti£ks) that Vol in a Vifit he made to The- 
 t£s, was fupported by two Female Statues 
 of Gold, which were likewife automatons , 
 and, moreover, endued with Speech anck 
 Underftanding. As he has conllantly af- 
 fe&ed . nee his Fall to approve himfelf as 
 great an Artift as he appeared above ; fo, 
 to refemble his Homerican Supporters, he 
 made half a dozen Statues of the fame 
 Metal, while he was Treafurer of Ireland , 
 which, to his great Comfort, are ft ill in 
 his Cuftody; but he prudently forbore ten 
 give them Speech or Motion, left they 
 Should tell Tales, or run away. 
 
 Ver. 228. For Fve lately remark'd &c. 
 Corpus ’tuum gloriofum 7 
 Modo vidi maculofum, > 
 
 Opacumque : claricr quo fum. j 
 E. Modern’. 
 
•28 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 “ For the reft_If you mind our Affairs here below, 
 
 “ Or to chance leave the World, I’m not curious to 
 
 know. 230 
 
 “ This I know, as Mars hinted, all Nations complain, 
 <c That ye feldom are prelent, where Lieutenants reign. 
 “ Little differs their Rule in the Eaft or the Weft: 
 
 M Whether Baiba w or Viceroy-the SubjedFs oppreft : 
 
 tc And the Gods in their Wrath never yet made two 
 Things, 235 
 
 “ That are fo much alike as two Deputy- 
 
 Thus the Collier. But Phoebus , unapt to difclole 
 The Arcana of Heaven, or enlighten Jove's Foes, 
 
 Here 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Modern Aftronomers haveobferved cer¬ 
 tain opaque Malles, which fometimes ap¬ 
 pear flicking to the Sun’s Body. Their 
 various Figures and Motions may be dif- 
 cerned by a Telefcope. VoP s Remark 
 therefore is certainly juft. But whether 
 this Defeft in the Sun is to be imputed to 
 the Unskilfulnefs of V ?/’s Succeflors, I will 
 not take upon me to determine. 
 
 Ver. 229.- If you mind our Af¬ 
 
 fairs &c. 
 
 Terras, Superi, curatis. 
 
 An mortalia cundla fatis 
 •Permififtis; jedepol 
 Inter-eft parum lcire Vol. 
 
 Scio tamen, fit Britannus, 
 Hilpanufve, eft Tyrannus 
 Quilque Prorex. Nam vicarius T 
 Omnis Prorex eft numarius ; V 
 
 Et numarius eft nefarius. \ 
 
 Omnis Prorex ? Veniam O Rex.') 
 Pafha fiat , aut Sancho Rex, V 
 Minusplacetit fi T o Prorex. J 
 Minor fimilis majori, 
 
 Veniens fimilis priori : 
 
 Regnet alter-ac per fidem 
 
 Alter erit femper idem. 
 
 It cannot pals unobferved with what 
 Difrefpea both Sir Mars and Voli peak of 
 the Government and the Adminiftration 
 of Viceroys. But their Invedives muft 
 be alcribed to their Spleen for want of 
 Power, and the feveral Repulfes which 
 they received in the Reign of Lord C*** 
 who difregarded the Ranger’s Memorial, 
 and detailed Vil’s Peculation. Mr. 
 Scheffer always makes honourable mention 
 of this Viceroy, as may be remarked Ver. 
 107 ofthis Book, but more particularly 
 hereafter in the Epifode of the Gridiron. 
 
Book I The TOAST. 29 
 
 Here obferv’d the wife Rule of Political Men, 
 
 And reply’d to their Queftions, by asking agen; 240 
 
 “ How they far’d in flefh-clothing, and how at fuch 
 diftance, 
 
 “ By the Gods unaflifted, they got a Subliftence ? 
 
 “ Are the Dons of Ierne averfe to a Stranger ? 
 
 “ Is the Warrior difarm’d, and but only a Ranger ? 
 
 « Still Unpenfion’d is Vol forc’d to drudge in a 
 Hole, 245 
 
 “ Or to melt down old Bottles, or mete out bad Coal ? 
 c c I furmife things go ill, if ’tis lawful to guefs 
 <{ By the Plight of your Bodies, Attendants and Drels. 
 ct And a dear-bought Experience has taught me to know, 
 “ Tho’ Divine are our Talents, they’re ufelefs below. 250 
 “ We are only rais’d high, that our Fall may be greater: 
 «< And a God in Difgrace is a very poor Creature. 
 
 “ For 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 He was a Perfon of great Sagacity and 
 Application, had a perfeft Knowledge of 
 the World, and was an excellent judge 
 of Men. 
 
 Yer. 251. -- that our Fall may be 
 
 greater : 
 
 And a God in Difgrace &c. 
 
 Lapfu graviorc ruit 
 Hie, qui modo Deusfuit. 
 
 Tolluntur in altum 
 
 Ut lapfu graviorc ruants Claudian. 
 
 Such is frequently the fate of Tyrants and 
 Great Minijlers , who afpire to Sovereign 
 Power . The Lofs of their Authority , 
 JVealth and Honours is a fvfficient Punijh - 
 menty tho 9 their Fall be attended with no 
 worfe Circumflances. Devils need no other 
 Torment than their own Reflexions. Vol 
 was a fallen Spirit , and a difgraced Mini - 
 Jler. Thus Wetflein. But my Country¬ 
 man Tir-Oen, who was better acquaint¬ 
 ed with Vol y s Circumflances and the Frame 
 of his Mind, makes a different Remark, 
 Spoliatorem ijlum nihil Infamia terret: 
 
 3 Salvis 
 
 
30 The T O A S T. Book I 
 
 <c For my Wifdom (6 fam’d, and fo tuneful a Bard, 
 
 « Was not I once reduc’d to a fimple Cow-herd ? 
 
 “ Nor my Temples or Priefts might a Refuge afford 5255 
 <c For my Living I work’d, where I then was ador’d.” 
 
 Voly oblerving the Knight eat his Nails, and grow pale, 
 (Ugly Omen! Prefage of a long winded Tale !) 
 
 Sudden anfwer’d: “ Tho’ now my good Brother looks 
 mean, 
 
 “ Pray review him to-morrow array’d in his Green ; 260 
 
 “ When 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Salvis nummis fruitur carcere. “ That 
 “ Plunderer ('meaning Vol) contemns his 
 4t Infamy , keeps his Money and enjoys his 
 Prifon. 
 
 Ver. 254. Was not /&c. 
 
 Ule ego fcientiarum 
 Omnium doflus, poetarum 
 Priiceps, Deus (pudet fari) 
 
 Olim vel bubulcitari &c. 
 
 Apollo deftroyed the Cyclopes to revenge 
 the Death of his Son /Fjculapius ; for 
 which he was banifhed from Heaven, de¬ 
 prived of his Divinity, and expofed to the 
 Calamities of this World. Thus diftref- 
 fed, he hired himfelf to Admetus King of 
 Tbejfaly in the Quality of a Cowherd ; 
 where his Conduit and Behaviour was fo 
 pleating to the Gods, that after nine Years 
 Exile, Jupiter recalled him to Heaven, 
 and reftored him to all his former Offices 
 and Honours. Happy had it been for Vol 
 and Sir Mars, lays Wetjlein, if they had 
 followed this great Example, 
 
 Yer. 257. Vol obferving the Knight 
 eat &c. 
 
 Pallidus, nec huic applodens, 
 (Dirum omen !) ungues rodens, 
 Dum fermonem meditatur 'y 
 
 Longum Mavors, raptim fatur V 
 Senex Vol ; & fatur fatur. j 
 
 Mars , as JVetJlein oblerves on this 
 Place, was the moll noify and ignorant 
 of all the Gods. When Pallas fpeaks to 
 him in Homer , fhe calls him M«i vopoivt, 
 tpfeotf tjAf, Fool and Madman. And 
 thro’ the whole Iliad the Poet never men¬ 
 tions his Name without an Epithet deno¬ 
 ting his Impetuofity and Want of Senfe. 
 Before his Fall, tho’ he'fpoke very loud, 
 he fpoke but little. But after, he became 
 infufferably talkative. If he was asked a 
 common. Queftion, he would always pre¬ 
 face his Anfwer with a long Story full of 
 Invectives, Egotifms, unmeaning Paren- 
 thefes and French Proverbs. Vol, who 
 was fenfible of his Brother’s Infirmities, 
 kindly endeavours to conceal them by re- 
 
 plying 
 
Book I. The TOAST. 31 
 
 “ When he mounts his Pad-Nag, and a flumes a new 
 Grace; 
 
 “ When he rides (how undaunted !) directing the Chace: 
 “ Thus acquiring at fixty more Honour unfought, 
 
 “ Than he got by his Battles,——tho'furious he fought. 
 “ He has now flung his Arms — and his Penfion is 
 fcant: 265 
 
 “ Yet fo wide his Domain, that he never can want. 
 “To his Office appendant are delicate Fees; 
 
 “ And he fits, the Chief Umbra^ at Feafts of Grandees.— 
 
 “ As 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 plying fof him, juft as he faw him ready 
 to break out. However we fhall find, 
 that the Warrior had his Share in the 
 Con ver fat ion, before they parted. 
 
 Ver. 261. When he mounts his Pad- 
 Nag &c. 
 
 Cum afcendat mox equulum, ^ 
 Te viderc vel lulum \ 
 
 Putes adolefcen-tulum. j 
 
 Sufpendifle arma gau Jet: T 
 
 At inermis quanta audet ? S 
 Dum venantem vulgus plaudit. J 
 
 Equulus is what the Spaniards calliV 
 quenno Cavallo , and the Italians , Cava - 
 lino. Tir-Oen fays, That he had frequent¬ 
 ly hunted with Sir Mars, who for his 
 own Security was always mounted on a 
 little Pad. I do not fee how this is to be 
 reconciled with the following Verfe, where 
 he is commended for riding boldly, unlefs 
 we fuppofe that Vol fpeaks ironically of 
 his Brother’s Courage. 
 
 Sufpendifle arma gaudet. 
 
 He rejoices that he has hung up his Arms] 
 
 When the Romans were paft their La¬ 
 bour, and had left the military Service, 
 they hung up their Arms in the Temples. 
 
 Vejanius armis 
 
 Herculis ad pojlem fixis. 
 
 Hor. Ep. 1. L. r.’ 
 
 So likewife, when they left off any 
 other Trade or Art which they had pro¬ 
 filed, they confecrated the Inftruments 
 of the fame to fome God. 
 
 Ver. 268. And he fits> the Chief 
 Umbra, &c. 
 
 Semper Mars , Umbrarum unus, 
 
 Sitiens venit, &jejuius. 
 
 It wascuftomary for the Roman Gentle¬ 
 men, when they were invited to a Dinner 
 or Supper, to carry with them one or two 
 
 Perfons, 
 
32 The T o A S T. Book I. 
 
 <c a s for me_had Apollo confulted his Books; 
 
 « Would he judge an old Smith by his Habit and 
 Looks ? 270 
 
 « Ought a Wight who is banifii d to make a fine Shew ? 
 tc Who above would contain to fee Volcan a Beau ? 
 
 « Yet allow to my Labours the Honour that’s due: 
 
 Ct If I melt down old Bottles, I likewife make new. 
 
 “ Be the Metal defpis’d, yet I caufe it to pafs; 275 
 
 “ And for Silver and Gold I can barter my Glafs. 
 
 “ If the Fuel be bad, which my Coal-Mine produces, 
 “ It is fold at low Rates, and it ferves for all Ufes. 
 
 « Lo ! the great Legiilators encourage my Trade ; 
 
 “ And remember no more the Mifreck’nings I made. 280 
 
 “ While 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Perfons, who were called their Umlra or 
 Shadows. And there was always room 
 allowed at every great Table for fuch 
 Guefts. Thus Horace , when he invites 
 Torquatus to fup with him, having named 
 the reft of the Company, adds, 
 
 Locus eft pluribus Urnbris. 
 
 The Followers of great Families ;n Ire¬ 
 land , are a Species of Men not unliie the 
 Roman Umbra:, 
 
 Ver. 272. JVho above would cantain 
 
 &c. 
 
 Vol fi comp urn videatis, 
 
 Rifum, Dei, teneatis ? 
 
 Vol was remarkably dirty and negligent 
 in his Drefs; and even at Court he always 
 appeared the fame. So that at firft Sight 
 you would conclude he wrought at the 
 Anvil, or lived in a Glafs-Houfe. 
 
 Ver. 279. Lo ! the great Legijlators 
 &c. 
 
 Legum-inclyti-latores 
 
 Noftros adjuvant labores : 
 
 Oblitufque nunc Senatus 
 
 Bonus noftri peculates. 
 
 The Houfe of Commons have frequent¬ 
 ly given large Sums of Money for the 
 Encouragement of the Irifh Colliery, of 
 which Vol had the chief Dire&ion. And 
 
 tho’ 
 
Book I. The TOAST. g j 
 
 “ While the Holyday Youths my Volcanos admire, 
 
 “ And, unknowing, confefs me the Father of Fire. 
 
 “ Thus among the Sicilians , when hr ft I appear’d; 
 
 “ Ere the Mountain had flam’d, or my Thunder was 
 heard; 
 
 * w . - * 
 
 u I was in vain to point upwards, and boaft of my Race; 
 “ For they laugh’d me to Scorn, when they look’d in 
 my Face: 2 86 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 tho* fome Members have now and then 
 threatned to call him to account for his 
 Embezzlement of the Publick Treafure, 
 yet he has always had the Cunning to di¬ 
 vert a Parliamentary Enquiry. 
 
 Ver. 281. - my Volcanos ad¬ 
 
 mire &c. 
 
 Ignis emlrantur domum , J 
 
 Me agnofcunt ignipromum, \ 
 
 Patrem omnes igni-vomum. j 
 
 TV etjlein will have Ignivomum to figni- 
 fy a Fire-eater . Sthii candentes carbones 
 comedit , & Ignes evomit Prcejligiatoris fub 
 doli more . Wetftein. Diflertat. 
 
 But with Submiflion to this learned Cri¬ 
 tic, I cannot comprehend how the Cha¬ 
 racter of a Fire-eater would heighten Vol's 
 Reputation, as feems to be the Intention 
 of the Poet. I make no Queftion, but 
 that Vol, who had liv’d in Fire and Smoke 
 .all his Life, could eat, and digell it too 
 much better than any of his Contempora¬ 
 
 ries : Tho’ I am well afliired, he thought 
 this beneath the Dignity of his Profeflion, 
 and not to be practis’d but on extraordi¬ 
 nary Occafions ; as at fome great Enter¬ 
 tainment when he afted the Part of a Buf¬ 
 foon, isle. I therefore retain my own 
 Verfion, The Father of Fire , which I 
 think is evidently Mr. Scheffer's Meaning. 
 Cuper , in his Epiftle, de Mdibus Vokani 
 juxta portum Eblaruz conditis , makes ufe 
 of this Epithet to commend Vols Glafs- 
 Houfe. 
 
 Sijhint , turba audax, populis infenfa 
 * Kevanm 
 
 Mir at i Artifices , ignivomam^ do¬ 
 mum. 
 
 Jupiter ipfe novas nefcit compellere nubes ; 
 
 Nec Sol Volcani clarior igne rnicat. 
 
 Here flop the faucy Kevan Crowds; 
 
 Vd and his Burning-Houfe admire. 
 
 Jove knows not to compel fuch Clouds, 
 
 Nor can the Sun furpafs this Fire. 
 
 * Kevanni were a Mob who call'd themfclves the Kevan Bail, and committed many 
 Outrages in the Streets of Dublin. 
 
 F 
 
 “ Yet 
 
34 The TOAST. Book I. 
 
 “ Yet, my Speech tho’ ungraceful, and Figure fo odd, 
 <£ When I open’d my Shop, they confefs’d me a God. 
 
 “ But a ferious Difcourfe, now we re met to caroufe, 
 “ Will defeat our Defign, and diftionour the 
 Houfe: 290 
 
 “ Nor ought I, in the Prefence of Phoebus , to boaft. ’ 
 So he fill’d up his Glafs, and demanded a Toast. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 28 9. But a ferious Difcourfe 
 &c. 
 
 Seria, cum plus nadti oti.- - - 
 
 Probe nunc, fi probe poti. 
 Convenienter conven-imus: 
 
 Piget dicere, Fu-imus. 
 
 Pudet quoque me jaftare: 
 
 Prasftat Nymphas memorare, 
 
 Et Supernas, & Infernas, 
 
 Et lernas — fed fecernas. 
 
 I quotethefeLinesfornoother Purpofe, 
 but to re&ify a grofs Error of Tir-Oen y 
 who makes Infernas to fignify the Furies , 
 or Female Devils , called Sue Cuba's , with 
 whom, according to the fame Commen¬ 
 tator, V ?/ ufed to folace, in the form of 
 Mud-Nymphs. Whereas it plainly ap¬ 
 pears, by the Account given of the Toafts 
 in the Beginning of the next Book, that 
 Infernas is ufed only in Oppofition to Su - 
 pernas , and fignifies the Terreftrial God- 
 delles, or the Beauties of the Earth. 
 
 THE 
 
 / 
 
THE 
 
 T O AST. 
 
 BOOK THE SECOND. 
 
 
 Credo re depot Solem appotum probe. 
 
 Mira —— Sed invitavit fefe in Coena plufculum. 
 
 Plaut. Amph. 
 
THE 
 
 TOAST. 
 
 BOOK THE SECOND. 
 
 H AD I Mouths a whole Hundred, an Hundred 
 loud Tongues, 
 
 Or the Voice of the Warrior , or Vol 's Iron Lungs; 
 Yet I could not unerring the Beauties recite, 
 
 Who in Bumpers were crown’d-happy Toafts of 
 
 this Night. 
 
 To my Aid learned Ottor ! thy Eloquence bring, 5 
 To fupport a weak Goth , and aflHE him to ling. 
 
 Long 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 1. Had I Mouths &c. 
 
 Non fi mihi centum ora. 
 
 Lingua centum, vox lonora 
 Martis , Volcaniopt ferrea j 
 Haud jam loca, quae Di, per ea, 
 Nec, quae Suavia Di, Scheffer , ea 
 Peragrare, memcrare, 
 
 Aut cantare, aut amare, \ 
 
 Nedum queas tu potare. J 
 
 Non mihi ft lingua centumfint^oraque centum , 
 Ferrea Vox. Virg. 
 
 2 
 
 Ferrea is a very proper Epithet here j; 
 for Vol ’s Lungs muft have been as hard a? 
 Iron to endure the Smoak of Sea-coal 
 Fires for fo many Ages. The fonorous- 
 Voice of the Warrior (Sir Mars) is de¬ 
 le rib’d before, Ver. 217 of thefirfl Book.. 
 
 Ver. 5. fo my Hid learned Ottor 
 &c. 
 
 Aures da, O Afinarie, 
 
 Opern, Ora, Tolutarie 
 
 O Vicarie E 
 
I 
 
 38 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 Long ago thy great Talents from far I difcerned : 
 
 Let it profit me fomething to fay, Thou art learned. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 OVicarie! Innotefcunt 
 ISTobis procul, indies crefcunt 
 Dodta tibi, cui tot, quot or- 
 a poetis, dodte Otter . 
 
 Profit dotftum tc dixiffe, 
 
 Et mi bardum me feci He ! 
 
 At, ne pereant carmina, quae 
 Dixit Scheffer potor aquae •, 
 Fas fit verba mutuare, 
 
 Atque ljythmis terminare, 
 Quae cum fuavis in convidtu, 
 Dicis mirabilia diftu ! 
 
 Ac facundia mi fit, qua tu 
 Semper vales in Senatu •, 
 Adverfarios qua finapis 
 Pol ad inftar tuos capis *, 
 
 Qua amicos molli-culi 
 Pol ad inftar coa-guli! 
 
 The Latin Commentators are greatly 
 divided about this Addrefs to Ottor. Cu - 
 per and Weifein take it for a ferious Com¬ 
 pliment. But Tir-Oen infills, that the 
 whole Pafiage is ironical. He informs us, 
 .that Ottor had early declared himfelf an 
 Enemy to Mr. Scheffer , and had greatly 
 injured him in his private affairs. And to 
 juftify his Interpretation he pretends, that 
 our Author would not have ufed fuch an 
 opprobrious Term as Afinarie in fpeaking 
 to a Man for whom he had the leaf! re- 
 ■fpeft. I am indeed of my Countryman’s 
 Opinion, but not for the fame Reafon. 
 For Ajinarius is not fuch an injurious Ap¬ 
 pellation as he takes it to be. This Word 
 properly lignifies a Leader or Driver of 
 .Affes; and as it muft be here underflood 
 in a metaphorical Senfe, we cannot furely 
 infer, that the Man is a Fool, becaufehe 
 makes Affes of other People. 
 
 Profit dodlum te dixiffe. 
 
 This feems to be an Imitation of 
 thefe Lines of Juvenal^ Book 4. 
 
 -- Narrate Pu elite 
 
 Picrides: Profit mihi vos dixiffe Puellas. 
 
 Dixit Scheffer Potor aquas ; 
 
 Tir-Oen tells us, That Mr. Scheffer 
 during the latter Part of his Refidence in 
 Dublin , and after his Return to his own 
 Country, drank nothing but Water. On 
 what Account he refrained from Wine 
 and all ftrong Liquors I am ignorant; but 
 I am inclined to think, ’twas only to give 
 us a Proof that Poetry and Sobriety are not 
 altogether incompatible, as fome old Poets 
 have thought them. 
 
 Nulla placere diujiec vivere carmina poffunf y 
 Shite feribuntur aqutepotoribus —- 
 
 Hor. 
 
 Adverfarios qua fcjV. 
 
 Thefe four Verfes are fuch a low image 
 of the Do&or’s Eloquence, that I have not 
 given them a Place in the Tranflation. 
 But if the Omiflion be thought material, 
 the following Epigram by my Friend Oneil 
 will fupply my Defeft, and gratify the 
 Reader’s Curiofity. 
 
 Ottor ’a Notes are J,harp and Jlrong^ 
 
 When he would fiubdue a Foe \ 
 
 But if Friends demand a Song , 
 
 Soft andfiweet his Accents flow 
 
 Thus the Wight who feeds on Beef 
 Oft is caught by force of Mujlard > 
 
 While the gentle City Chief 
 Is converted by a Cujiard. 
 
 Let 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 
 
 Let me change into Rhyme thy mellifluous Profe, 
 Which thou ufefl: in Senates to fllence thy Foes: io 
 
 Which thy Table fupplies with new Quirks and old Jefts, 
 To inftrud: or divert thy good Clients and Guefts. 
 
 Yet alas! who, that faw me in tilts diebus , 
 
 At a Banquet with Clio and Bacchus and Phoebus , 
 
 And beheld thee in Brogues at the Feet of thy Sire, 15 
 With a Bowl of Skim-milk, by a fmoaky Turf fire, 
 Could without fome horofcopal Knowledge divine, 
 That the Bard Ihould drink Water, when thou fliould’fl: 
 drink Wine ? 
 
 That the Fates fhould chip out, not regarding the Stock, 
 Both a Doftor and Judge from a Carpenter’s Block ? 20 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Yer. 19. That the Fates Jhould 
 chip out &c. 
 
 Ut mifellus (certe mirum !) 
 
 Procreet Faber tantum virum ; 
 
 Et ex vili ligno hoc tor- 
 
 natus fiat LL. Dodtor. 
 
 I do not think it any reproach to a Man 
 of Merit to be defcended from a Race of 
 Mechanicks. But if a worthlefs Son of a 
 Carpenter or Shoemaker, fhould by a turn 
 of Fortune be raifed to the Magiftracy, and 
 behave himfelf with Pride and Infolence in 
 his Office, it cannot be amifs now and 
 then to put him in mind of his Pedigree, 
 Ottor was a Carpenter’s Son, and is the 
 fame Perfon who is numbered among our 
 Author’s Enemies in the Epiftle to Cade- 
 
 nus . He is there faid to be defcended from 
 a Shoe-maker. Tir- Ocn informs us, That 
 his Mother's Father was a Shoemaker , gt 
 rather a Cobier ; hut his Father , tho 9 he 
 was only a poor Carpenter , had more learn¬ 
 ing than the Son . Maternus avus inferi- 
 oris ordinis Suior j pater autem , Rujlicus 
 licet ac Lignarius Faber , dodlo Dodiore do - 
 dlior. The following Epigram quoted by 
 Tir-Oen was addreffed to the younger Ot - 
 tor , when the Dodiorate was conferred 
 upon him, and is a handfome Compli¬ 
 ment to the Father, for giving his Son a 
 liberal Education. 
 
 Dcdiorem incertus Genitor faceretne Sca~ 
 helium, 
 
 Dodlorem Gnatum maluit ejfe Faber. 
 Ottor ave ! qui te Dodloremfecerat, idem 
 quovh ligno Mcr curium faceret. 
 
 2 Ex 
 
40 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 And, O thou, great Iocco, whole Logic I dread, 
 Who canfl make an Afs fpeak, or perplex a God’s Head, 
 Since alas 1 by thy Counfel I’m plunder’d and iDUtiteD, 
 Be appeas’d ; andinfult me no more in the Frows Head. 
 Nor my Incenfe difdain, while I’m bowing To low; 25 
 Nor refufe a good J ?££, tho’ Sir Piercys my Foe. 
 
 Nor 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ex quovis ligno non ft Mercurius , is an 
 old Proverb to fignify, that good Work 
 cannot be made out of bad Materials, or 
 as the Scots /ay. It is ill to make a Blawer 
 of a Tod s Tail This Epigram has been 
 thus tranflated or rather paraphrafed by 
 Oneil. 
 
 Goodman Ottor full of Care, 
 Doubtful how to form bis Heir y 
 Whether to adorn his Stocky 
 He fhould do&orate the Block ; 
 
 Or jhould neither hew nor round it , 
 
 But juft leave it as he found it , 
 
 Thought at length without a Jetty 
 That the Doftor founded beji. 
 
 At after Doctor now rejoice ; 
 
 Praife thy Sire's judicious Choicer 
 While we all conclude , that he 
 Who has made a Man of thee y 
 Crcjftng ancient Proverbs con'd 
 Alake a God of rotten Wood . 
 
 Ver. 21. Andy O thou 9 great locco, 
 
 &c. 
 
 Iccco A-—■ nate late, 
 
 Cate fed inflate, vah ! te : 
 
 Malcio qui Mallencis Mcdlas 
 Hadas, Hagas, Haias, 11 alias, 
 Meum ruses, fagse pus es, 
 
 IT’ < i u ‘ l Frow, nequiffimus es 
 01 non makciilan-dus es. ' \ 
 
 locco, or (according to IVetJlein) I. Occo 
 is the fame Perfon whom our Author calls 
 
 Melefinus in hisEpillle to Cadenus. A _ 
 
 nate lat , i. e. qui maximus es A —— 
 Malcio is the fame as Homo infulfus, a 
 Man, who has no Wit. Mallencis fig- 
 nifies, a Pleader, and Mallo, as, to im¬ 
 plead j Hadas , Lands, Hagas, Hedges or 
 Inclofures, Haias , Tenements, Hal/as 
 Manfion Houfes. Thefe are all barbarous 
 
 Words, or Common-Law Latin. _ 
 
 Meum Rus es, i. e. comedis. 
 
 By all this Jargon, Mr. Scheffer means 
 nothing more, than that he was di/po/Ief- 
 fed of his Eflate by the Advice of this 
 Lawyer, and the importunate Sollicati- 
 ons of Myra's, Frow. See a particular 
 Account of this Affair in the Epiftle to 
 Cadenus , and in the Note on our Au¬ 
 thor’s Addrefs to Sir Piercy, the Begin¬ 
 ning of Book III. as like wife what is faid 
 in the Appendixj 
 
 Of Myra's Frow hereafter. 
 
 Ver. 26. Nor refufe a good Fee , &c. 
 Quamvis Perfeus tibi Con_. 
 
 Minam auri fi j annon ? 
 
 Which Ttr-Oen explains thus, Si mi- 
 nam auri tibi obtulerim, annon tu accipias , 
 quamvis Perfeus tibi fit Contubernalis - 
 
 By tfi. ^ a 7 > Con for Contubernalis, is a 
 
 hold Figure. 
 
 The 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 41 
 
 Nor Uentttt to my Song, or me unjuft, 
 
 Or that lVe taken my Tale upon ; 
 
 Nor tlltplt&tl an old Bard, whom a King has refpedted; 
 Nor DCftttl) an old Toaft, whom the Gods have re¬ 
 jected. 3° 
 
 So Ierne s rich Suitors (hall ever fupply thee; 
 
 And allow thee thofe T. alents, which Britain s deny thee. 
 Till embarrafs’d no more by the Length of a TBtitfy 
 Thou impurpled fit high, and be titled a Chief : 
 
 Or 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 The fame Commentator informs us, I fear, that I have not fully exprefled 
 that Mr. Scheffer, on his firft Arrival in my Author’s Meaning in the Tranflation 
 Ireland, employed this Lawyer in all his of thefe Lines. By Cefttltqiie SErilft he 
 Bufinefs, and from time to time gave him probably alludes to a pretended Trujl, 
 large f ees - Yet when the Sorcerels and which his Adverfaries had let up againft 
 Sir Piercy attacked our Author, /. Occo him, and by which they attempted to de* 
 deferted him and went over to his Ad ver- prive him of all his Eflate in this Coun- 
 
 faries. To excufe this Proceeding, heal- try.-The Reader willfind a par- 
 
 ledged, that Sir Piercy was his Friend, ticular Relation of this Affair in another 
 and Myra his Patronefs. Place. 
 
 rfZ, *«“> ; . 
 
 Beginning of the third Book, and in the ^ not ; comprehend the Senfe of this 
 
 . «• \/nfLi _ * 1 l /*„ r__ _ 1* 9 m 
 
 Verfe. Tir-Oen indeed fo far explains it, 
 as to tell us, that laudato amat , or fome 
 fynonymous Verb is to be underftood. 
 But what does Rex here fignify ? A King, 
 or a Vice-King, or a Pro-Vice-King ? I 
 never heard, that Mr. Scheffer was a 
 Courtier either in his own Country, or 
 ours. 
 
 Appendix. 
 
 Ver. 27. Nor Demur &c. 
 
 Neque tu grandasvum Scheffer , 
 Mentem, carmen, nomen defer. 
 
 Eccum vatem, quern Rex quidam : Eccam fagam. fcil, Miram . 
 
 Eccum fagam hanc per-fidam, Ver. 34. Thou impurpledfit high , &c. 
 
 
 G 
 
 Praelatufque 
 
42 The T o A S T. Book II. 
 
 Or increafing in Wealth, and unaw’d by Appeals, 35 
 Be prefer’d to the Prime, and fucceed to the Seals. 
 Then the Donnybrook Naiads thy Temples fhall grace; 
 And (ball lengthen thy Wig, and thy Words, and thy 
 Face: 
 
 While the Birds of Minerva refound thy Succefs; 
 
 And, to pleafe thee, evn I Interline an Addrefs. 40 
 Now the Glaftes were match’d to the Breadth of an 
 Hair, 
 
 That the Gods might be juft to themfelves and the Fair; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS 
 
 Pradatufque huic, quinimo 
 Ambidextro ifti Primo, 
 
 (Olli, Rex, figillum ne da 
 Nunc vel olim, qui ex Tredach) 
 Toga fplendida veftitus, 
 
 Coma Jonga redimitus, 
 
 Queis & faciem, corpus fufcans, 
 Sis perhonorifi-cus Cane'. 
 
 Here Mr. Scheffer infmuates , or rather 
 frophefm, (fays Tir-Oen) that the Merit 
 an f •. earnin g rf this Gentleman will ex - 
 alt him above all his Brethren, and at 
 leugth raife him to the Dignity of Lord 
 Chancellor, or a Lord Chief Juflice at 
 leaf. J J J 
 
 Ambidextro (according to the fame 
 Commentator) is here ufed in a good 
 Senfe, to denote the Eminency of the 
 Perfon to whom it is applied : viz. That 
 he has Co much Bufinefs, as to be obliged 
 
 to receive Fees with both Hands. --—_ 
 
 IVetfein underftands this Word, as in¬ 
 tended to exprefs the gracefulnefs of the 
 Lawyer s Action in pleading. 
 
 ^ er - 37 ; "Then the Donnybrook 
 Naiads &c. 
 
 Com& — Naiades vicinse 
 Coment quam pec-tine fine. 
 Vultum, verba, gratiam Di 
 Addant. Qui ? qui, quam tu , 
 tarn Dt. 
 
 It is Tir-Oen , who pretends to know, 
 that by Vidua Naiades are meant the 
 Naiads of Donnybrook . 
 
 39 - While the Birds of Minerva 
 
 Tunc & viri laudes Bu- 
 bones dicant. Mufa tu, 
 
 Hac deberi mihi ipfe •, 
 
 Illius ergo Interscripsi. 
 
 The Bird of Minerva is the Owl, 
 
 ^Jfflffuipaia Minerva, the Emblem 
 of Wifdom. 
 
 See the Reafon in the Appendix, why 
 Mr Scheffer inferted (or interlined) this 
 Addiefs to Iocco in the fecond Edition of 
 his Poem. 
 
 They 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 43 
 
 They began (as ’twas meet) with the Houfhold of yove j 
 With the Goddefles all, and Court Ladies above. 
 
 But they hail’d the great Queen, who gives Charms to 
 the reft, 45 
 
 Still Herfelf of all Beings the Faireft confeft. 
 
 Then to Thetis they fill’d, and the Nymphs ofher Train, 
 Who inchant with their Voices, and fmooth the rough 
 Main; 
 
 Merry Nereids , by Venus well falhion’d to pleafe : 
 
 For the Goddefs remembers (he fprung from the Seas. 5 o 
 Next are toafted the Naiads , who murmuring glide, 
 
 Or in Rivers roll rapid, where Urn Gods refide. 
 
 Then the tall Hamadryads , who fport in the Groves: 
 Nor the Eyes of the Sun can difcover their Loves. 
 
 Then the little bright Donnas, who flit thro’ the Air: 55 
 Not a Silph was forgot, who was deem’d to be fair. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 43. They began (as 'twas 
 meet ) with the Houjhold &c. 
 Ducunt Di ab Jovis domo, > 
 Ut fas eft, principium. ^uo mo- > 
 do refcivi hose, qui homo ? J 
 
 Homo certe , fed & vates ; 
 
 Et mi Phoebus (fie in fatis) 
 Infufurrans dixit gratis. 
 
 I 
 
 The Poet here enumerates the various 
 
 Orders of their Toafts. The greater God- 
 defies are named fir ft; among whom Ve¬ 
 nus is particularly diftinguilhed : Thetis 
 and her Nereids or Sea-nymphs form the 
 fecond Clafs: To thefe fucceed the Nat* 
 ads or River-nymphs: Then the Hama¬ 
 dryads or Wood-nymphs : Next the 
 Silphs 9 or the little Spirits pf the Air : 
 Then the Mufes and Graces ; and their 
 Maids of Honour, who were young, 
 handfome and well-lhapU 
 
 G 2 
 
 Then 
 
44 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 Then in order they drink all the Mufes and Graces , 
 
 And the Dames of their Court, who had Shapes and 
 young Faces. 
 
 A Difpute here arole, if they fhould not pafs by 
 Both the Virgins of Vejla^ and Damfels of Dy ; 60 
 
 Of a Converfe too chafte to allow a fmall hint; 
 
 And wou’d kill a poor Man for but looking afquint. 
 But the Doubt was foon clear’d. Mars fwore they were 
 Prudes; 
 
 Nor fo fqueamifh were found, when alone in the Woods: 
 
 That 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 60. Both the Virgins of Vefta 
 an A &c. 
 
 Veftam, Virginefque Veftae, 
 Dianaeque Nymphas, quae fte- 
 riles, quippe nimis caftae : 
 
 Quin robuftae, bene paftae. 
 
 Sed fufurros lenes, jocos 
 Male audiunt : fugiunt Procos. 
 
 Ut Adtaeon, occidetur. 
 
 Si tranfverla quis tuetur. 
 
 Vefta was the Daughter of Saturn by 
 his Wife Rhea. This Goddefs was a 
 Virgin, and fo great an Admirer of that 
 Title, that when her Brother Jupiter 
 promifed to grant her whatever (he would 
 ask, (he requefted that (he might for ever 
 preferve her Virginity. 
 
 Diana, the Sifter of Phoebus, alfo cal¬ 
 led Luna and Hecate. She was reputed 
 the Goddefs of Chaftity, and (hun’d the 
 Converfation of Men. 
 
 Alt non, the Son of Arifteus, for im- 
 3 
 
 prudently looking on Diana when (he was 
 bathing, was immediately chang’d into a 
 Stag, and torn in pieces by his own Dogs. 
 
 Ver. 63. - Mars fwore they 
 
 were Prudes &c. 
 
 Ah ! Meherc’le, ait Mars, 
 Semper haec Foeminea ’ft ars 
 Pudicitiam fimulare. 
 
 An erubuit amare. 
 
 Quae fylvarum eft incola, 
 Nympha, Si cum folo fola ? 
 Phcehi pallidae Sororis 
 Caftae, cautae, quis amores 
 Nefcit varios, (vital cur nos ?) 
 Nefcit noftrum quis nodlurnos ? 
 Quoties vidi hanc furtivam 
 Se in gremium tuum Divam 
 O ! Endymion, rejicientem ; 
 
 More Veneris furentem. 
 
 The Sifter of Phoebus, notwithfland- 
 
 ing 
 
Book IL The TOAST. 45 
 
 That he knew, the pale Goddefs, To modeft, and nice, 65 
 Ev’ry Night to Endymion ftole down in Difguife. 
 
 Thus the merry Gods quaff’d, much commending 
 the Wine; 
 
 And debating with Freedom of Females divine. 
 
 Till at length having number’d high Dames of this fort all, 
 They vouchlaf’d to defcend unto Toafts that were 
 Mortal. 70 
 
 For (as Ovid records) they are often fo good, 
 
 To imprefs their own Image on plain Flelh and Blood. 
 O’er the Earth they range wide, ev’ry Country and Town-, 
 All Aflemblies and Temples, and Baths of Renown ; 
 Great Seraglios, ungallant, impervious Abodes, 75 
 
 For a Tyrant referv’d-or invihble Gods ,• 
 
 Where the Flowers of Beauty ungather’d decay, 
 
 And the faireft of Mortals are kill’d by delay ; 
 
 Or alas 1 with one Man Joys indelicate prove, 
 Unexperienc’d in Friendfhip, unpradtis’d in Love. 80 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 ing her pretended Chaftity, had a Gal¬ 
 lant, whofe Name was Endymion ; of 
 whom (he was fo paflionately fond, that 
 (he defcended every Night and met him 
 on Mount Latmos in Caria. 
 
 Nudfj ^ Endymion Phcebi cepijje Sororem 
 Dicitur , nuda concubuijfe Dta. 
 
 . > 
 
 But Wetjlein a flu res us, T his was a Ca¬ 
 lumny invented by Mars , who had a na¬ 
 tural Antipathy to a virtuous Woman or 
 a learned Man : And what gave occafion 
 for the Scandal was, That Endymion , 
 who was a famous Aftronomer, and had 
 his Obfervatory on Mount Latmos , was 
 the firft who found out the Courfe of the 
 Moca, and the Planetary Motions, 
 
 But 
 
 
4 6 The T O A S T. Book IL 
 
 But the Topers dwell long in the Courts of the Well; 
 Which are facred to F'enuSj by Venus are bleft. 
 
 Here her Younker his Train of Artillery brings, 
 
 To demolilh the Pride of uncircumcis’d Kings;: 
 
 Nor is Youth unemploy’d, nor of Beauty is wafte, 85 
 Nor are here Great Sultanas compell’d to be Chafte. 
 Thus enquiring, they toafted all Names they could 
 hit on, 
 
 From remoteft Japan to the Ides of Great Britain. 
 And as dignify’d thus were the Daughters of Earth, 
 
 So the Gods they infpir’d, and enliven’d their Mirth. 90 
 But unjuftly left proud Hypercriticks accufe, 
 
 Or untruths indecorous impute to the Mufe; 
 
 (For fo much cou’d three Gods; or for Gods was it fitting, 
 Thus to drink all the Toafts of two Worlds at a Sitting?) 
 Be my Patrons abfolv’d; yet my Song be unfeign’d, 95 
 While Calliope tells, how their Choice was reftrain’d. 
 
 With unanimous Voice they eftablilh’d this Rule, 
 
 To allow of no Beauty, which cover’d a Fool: 
 
 Yet 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 86. Nor are here great Sulta¬ 
 nas &c. 
 
 Nec Eunuchi Res noftrarum 
 Obferare Sultana rum. 
 
 Minus fapiat fi Re-gium ; *■ 
 
 Fas tentare Patri-cium, -1 
 
 Fafcinumque vel Pleheium. J 
 
 Thefe five Verfes I have comprifed ij 
 cne Line. I could not exprefs the Sen/ 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 47 
 
 Yet fo carnal were minded no Dame to admit, gty 
 Who was only adorn’d with the Charms of her Wit.~' 
 They excepted all Blacks, as offending the Sight; 
 
 And no Wonder, fince Females Divine are all White: 
 All with Auftrian -made Lips, Shapes and Udders Teu¬ 
 tonic, 
 
 Nofes Flat, or high -Roman, Chins Downy or Conic, 
 Danift) Legs, and Dutch Feet j (fuch howe’er wou’d not 
 pleafe, 105 
 
 As are moulded by Nurfe for the noble Chinefe:) 
 
 All above Venus' Standard, and all under Size : 
 
 All who wore yellow Locks, or who wanted black Eyes. 
 Hence infer, ye old Bards, that your Strokes are too bold, 
 Which have drawn the fair Paphian with Treffes of 
 Gold. no 
 
 Nor 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 of my Author more fully than I have dona, 
 for a Reafon which is obvious to every 
 Reader, who underftands the Original. 
 
 Ver. 106 . As are moulded by Nurfe 
 &c. 
 
 Pedes haud Mandarinorum 
 Seu Filiarum feu Uxorum, 
 
 Dis placere.-fi, ut (tarent, '1 
 
 Opus effe •, quae amarent, S 
 In officio claudicarent. J 
 
 The Wives and Daughters of the Chi- 
 fiefi Mandarins have fuch fmall Legs and 
 Feet, that they are not fufficient to fup- 
 
 port the Weight of their Bodies. This 
 is anefi'ential Mark of their Nobility. For 
 which Reafon they are kept fwathed all 
 the time they are growing; fo that when . 
 a Woman of Quality is married, thofe 
 Parts are but little bigger than they were 
 when (he was born.. The curious Reader 
 may fee a Chinefe Slipper in the College 
 Library, the Oxford Mufeeum , or in the 
 Cabinet of Sir Ham Sloan , and other great 
 Virtuofos* 
 
 Ver. i i^o. - the fair Paphian 
 
 with Treffes &c, 
 
 Reginamque 
 
48 The T O A S T. Book II. 
 
 Nor is Homers Report of Minerva more true, 
 
 That her Eyes, which contended for Beauty were Blue. 
 
 They rejected the Jilt> the Coquet , and the Prude j 
 And the Nymphs, who took Money, or who were too 
 lewd : 
 
 Pretty Cloe had fold herfelf twice to the Jews, 115 
 And Corinna had often been feen in the Stews. 
 
 They excepted more juftly all Nations of Pi 8 is y 
 Who fupply by Machin ry their various Defedts. 
 
 Not a Counterfeit Belle cou’d their prying elcape, 
 
 Who had made a new Face, or had mended her 
 Shape. 120 
 
 One was cenfur’d for combing her Eye-brows with Lead, 
 And another for fpreading a Grain of French Red. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Reginamque Paphi, Cnidi 
 Flavam, auri-comam qui di- 
 cis, ut ifti Homeriftce : 
 
 Nunquam Deam pol vidifti. 
 
 Paphos was a City of Cyprus , now cal¬ 
 led Baffo , where Venus had a famous 
 Temple, and from whence (he took this 
 Title. 
 
 Ver. hi. Nor is Homer’s Report 
 &c. 
 
 Annon turn irridet Deos, 
 
 Palladi cum c^erule-os 
 
 Dat ocellos, Masonides! 
 Ne fit vati ulla fides ! * 
 
 TAoi\)xu)7ns (ceeruleos habens oculos) the 
 Homeric tfttName of Pallas or Minerva has 
 generally been tranflated Blue-ey’d , and I 
 have rendered it fo above, Ver. 220. B . I. 
 as well as in this Place. But rA<xt>xa>7n? 
 properly fignifies one who has Grey or 
 Greenifh Eyes : Therefore, I would ra¬ 
 ther, that my Verlion of this Paflage 
 fhould run thus. 
 
 Nor believe him , whatever Father Homer 
 may fay , 
 
 That the Eyes of Bright Pallas were 
 Greenijh or Grey . 
 
 Little 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 49 
 
 Little Aliy whom erft I invok’d for my Goddefs, 
 
 Now alas! was untoafted for wearing fteel Bodice. 
 
 Yet the Dames, who pollute their own Sex, they lik’d 
 worfe, , 25 
 
 And the T’ribads were all fet afide with a Curfe : 
 
 Nor a Sappho, fays Phoebusy lhall pleafe with her Songs; 
 Nor Homajfay cries V ?/, would I touch with my Tongs* 
 By Exceptions fo nice, fuch fevere Regulation, 
 Scarce fuffic’d the whole Globe for one Night’s Com- 
 potation. j^o 
 
 Tho’ fo cautious, their Godlhips, as Beauties grew fcant, 
 Often laps d — but were never afham’d to recant. 
 
 Thus it happen d, that Phoebus was lo much put to it, 
 
 He attempted to borrow a Toaft from a Poet. 
 
 <c Have 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 \ er. 123. Little Ali, whoPl erjl &C, Man in Love with a Dwarfs he w ill aj- 
 Mihiolim All ilia Jure you, that his Mijlrefs is jmart and 
 
 Xacprr&jv let, & melilla, witty , and that he likes her the better for 
 
 Eheu ! nunc repudiata \ the fmallnefs of her Stature , becaufe the 
 
 Quippe ferro thorocata. Graces were all very little IVimen. 
 
 T riii Little Alt was not only crooked, and 
 
 I am perfuaded when our Author wrote a Pi&, but fhe was likewife a famous 
 thefe Lines, he had a View to this Verfe Tribad, as will be feen hereafter, 
 of Lucretius: 
 
 Parvola^PumilioJZotf’vm lot jot a merumfal 
 
 Where the Poet taking Notice of the 
 wayward Fancies of fome Men, who fell 
 in Love with Women that were deform¬ 
 ed, tells us, they juftify their Pafli- 
 on by extenuating the Faults of their ML 
 ftrefles. For Injlance , fays he, fuppofe a 
 
 Ver. 127. Nor a Sappho, (Ac. 
 Carmen Sapphus haud arridet; 
 Mille fuavia Tribas fi det : 
 
 An fuperfinf, quae mihi det ? 
 
 At Vol: nullam laflam, quafiam, 
 Maecham tango maecham paf-j 
 fain ; 
 
 Ne vel forcipe Homajjam . 
 
50 The TOAST. Book II 
 
 “ Have we fo long neglected a Nymph of great Fame, 
 “ Oris Myra forgot 1 Be immortal the Name / 136 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 See the Charafler of Sappho in the 
 third Book. 
 
 The Reader will pleafe to obferve the 
 Art of the Poet in making his Gods al¬ 
 ways fpeak as well as a<3 in Character. 
 Sappho, fays Phoebus, would difpleafe me r 
 when Jhe is playing the Tribady though at 
 the fame time Jhe were finging one of her own 
 Odes : And, lays Vol, I would not touch 
 Homafla (a Tribal) with a Pair of 
 Tongs . This faying, of which Vol was 
 the original Author, has been fince in¬ 
 troduced into all polite Converfation. 
 
 Ver. 135. Have we fo long neglected 
 &c.. 
 
 Calefcerrtes Sc potamus ? 
 
 Neque Nympham memorarnus, 
 Tua quse fonatur lyra, 
 
 Tua, O Granville, Mira, 
 Immortale nomen ! It a. 
 
 Si vitali vivam Vita ; 
 
 Si quid in me eft Ingenii, 
 
 Immortale fit nomen ei ! 
 
 A Kymyh offpotlefs Worth and Fame, 
 Myra fnall be th* immortal Name . 
 
 Ld. Z.’s Poems. 
 
 Our Author here acknowledges to have 
 borrowed thtNameofMyrafcomL&.Lanft 
 down, who compofed fome amorous Verfes 
 towards the latter End of the laft Century 
 in Praife of this Lady. The lively Turns, 
 the delicate Sentiments, and all (he Beau¬ 
 ty and Elegance of the old Elegiac Poets 
 fhine in the little Pieces of this noble Au¬ 
 thor : And his Myra would have been 
 rank’d with (he Corinnas , Lesbias, Nearas 
 &c. if Mr Scheffer had not detedied her 
 Sorceries, and unveil’d the Matron in her 
 old Age. I muft not here omit to inform 
 the Englijh Reader of the Difpute among 
 
 the Commentators concerning the Ety¬ 
 mology of the Name of Myra . T/r- 
 Oen will have it to be the fame Name 
 with Myrrha the Daughter of Cynaras 
 King of Cyprus, a Woman of fuch an in¬ 
 ordinate Appetite, that fhe lay with her 
 Father, and had a Son by him. Wetftein 
 derives it from M v^olivcc Mureena , i. e. 
 Salax & in Venerem proms. ^poSoTtj 
 ^ e&hfyuyc ^ /uv'pouvx cv. O thou 
 Traytor and Impoflor, and O thou who 
 art full of Lufl. In another Place the 
 fame Commentator conje&ures, that 
 Myra is a Corruption of Myrrhina 
 a famous Courtefan of Athens, who 
 fir ft practifed and taught in that City 
 Sappho's Manner and the Lesbian Gam¬ 
 bols. Cuper affures us, that Myra or 
 Mura is an old Teutonick Word (deriv’d 
 from the Latin Murus) fignifying a Wall, 
 a Name or Title, which the People of 
 Franconia in the Reign of the famous 
 Pharamond be flow’d on every tallmafcu- 
 line Woman among their Nobility, thofe 
 efpecially of the Mejfalina-k ind. Si fu 
 Mura, Wire he Wir TJphe thie Silver ine 
 were. If Jhe be a Mura (or Wall) let us 
 work or build upon her &c. Wefterhami 
 Par . This figurative Expreftion was ufed 
 by the Jews, and is to be found in the 
 Works of the beft Hebrew Authors; from 
 whom we may fuppofe the old Germans 
 borrowed it. But, if I may be allowed to 
 differ from thefe learned Men, I am of 
 Opinion that Myra ought to be wrote 
 with an (i) inftead of a (y), and that it 
 is either a Contraction of /xiccgd, which 
 fignifies Impure or Wicked, or elfe is the 
 Foeminine of Mirus. Wonderful ox Mon- 
 ftrous . Both thefe Epithets are applicable 
 to the Character of Mr. Scheffer's Hero¬ 
 ine; and well exprefs the Qualities of a 
 Sorcerefs or an Hermaphrodite. 
 
 4 
 
 “ Let 
 
Book II The T O A S T. $ ( 
 
 tC Let the Glafles refound it! ” Tho’ ferious he fpoke, 
 You’d have thought V ?/ and Man never heard fuch a 
 Joke. 
 
 Follow’d fuch a loud Laugh, fuch a Hoop, and a Hollow, 
 That it ihook the whole Houfe, and confounded 
 Apollo: 140 
 
 So ajloundtng the Roar, and their Sides were fo try’d; 
 ’Tis agreed, if they had not been Gods, they had dy’d.— 
 “ Pray excufe us, quoth Mars 1 for by Venus' bright 
 Eyes, 
 
 u By the Horrors of Styx, you had caus’d lefs Surprife, 
 
 “ Had 
 
 NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 141.- and their Sides 
 
 were fo trfd ; 
 
 9 Tis agreed &c, 
 
 Et fi mori potuiffent. 
 
 Ilia rifu diffolviflent. 
 
 Tho* Veil and Mars could not die; yet 
 they always difappeared after they had li¬ 
 ved in one Country about fixty or feventy 
 Years, then removing to fome Part of the 
 World where they were not known. 
 About the Time Mr. Scheffer publifhed the 
 firft Volume of his Works, Sir Mars de¬ 
 parted, and can never return into this 
 Ifland: But his Behaviour during his A- 
 bode here was fo very notorious and re¬ 
 markable, that I believe he will hardly be 
 ever forgotten. 
 
 Ver. 143. Pray excufe us , quoth 
 
 Mars, Off, 
 
 Pace veftra haec! fed mese 
 Per ocellos Cithereae, 
 
 Vel per Styga die, quid agis? 
 (Non invideo •, minor magis.) 
 Sic fic bibis ? Sagam colis. 
 Quae jam pridem inter-polis j 
 Vetula, & male fana, 
 
 Et edentula & cana ? 
 
 Minus noftros tu nympharum 
 Dedeco-res deleftar^m 
 Choros, fi quae inferatur 
 Velinferna ; fi bibatur 
 Vel Aledo ter aut quater. 
 
 } 
 
 Here Sir Mars begins the Hiftory of his 
 Misfortunes upon Earth, which Apollo 
 had the Politenefs and Patience to liften 
 to, tho’ he well knew every Circum- 
 ftance before. In the firft Book, Ver . 
 257. Vol prevented the Warrior from en- 
 tring into a Detail of his own Aflions, 
 H 2 which 
 
52 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 “ Had your Godfhip propos’d one of Pluto's Hag- 
 Ghofts: 14.5 
 
 u Nor Aletdo wou’d thus have difhonour’d our Toafts. 
 “ Tho’ fo famous is Myra in quaint Roundelay, 
 
 “ Twenty Winters have feen her deep Wrinkled and 
 Grey. 
 
 “ When afraid of a Man-if fhe e’er was afraid ; 
 
 “ When fhe bloom’d a young Maid-if fhe e’er was 
 
 a Maid ; 15© 
 
 s< Even then, if I guefs Phoebus ’ manner of thinking, 
 
 “ Tho’ fo dull my own Fancy, fhe was not worth 
 drinking. 
 
 u Did you mark a huge Matron, ybent like a Bow, 
 
 Ci In the Circle o’erfhad’wing a little Dutch Frow, 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 ugling 
 
 which he knew muft tire the Company, 
 and do his Brother no Honour. But 
 when the Knight heard the Name of My¬ 
 ra mentioned with fo much Refpeft, 
 he cou’d no longer contain.— The Read¬ 
 er will obferve how he ufhers in his Narra¬ 
 tion with a Volley of Oaths; a fort of 
 Expletives with which he conftantly em- 
 bellifhed his Difcourfe. 
 
 Alefto was one Of the three Furies . 
 
 Ver. 149. When afraid of a Man &c. 
 Tunc, cum noftra viros vi- 
 tafiet, unquam viros fi.. 
 Virgun-cula cum blan-dula y 
 Si fuifiet virgun-cula. 
 
 Mfra adhuc Inf am I'tbidine accenfa ; 
 vulgaris ejus circumfertur exclamatio. 
 
 Je veux que le grand Dieu Priape me 
 punifle, fije me fouviens d'avoir jamais eu 
 mon Pucelage! Tir-Oen. 
 
 “ Myra , when but an Infant, was 
 “ very wanton. It was a common Say- 
 “ ing with the old Matron — May the 
 “ .Great God Priapus punifh me, if I re- 
 te member that 1 ever was a Virgin. 
 
 The fame Thing is faid.by Shiartilla 
 Priellels of Priapus in Petronius. 
 
 Ver. 153. Did you mark a huge Ma¬ 
 tron, &c. 
 
 Tunc, cum ftetur in corona, 
 Nonne vilaeft matrona 
 
 Sicut. 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 53 
 
 “ Ogling all Men of Might, and of Appetites keen, 155 
 “ Talking loud, and unfeemly direding ^ 7 c^-Queen ? 
 “ But has Momus not told you, that this is the Dame, 
 “ Who has ruin’d my Fortune, and injur’d my Fame; 
 “ Who has caus’d all my Proje&s on Earth to mifcarry; 
 Whom the Caitif young Hymen entic’d me to 
 marry ? 160 
 
 “ ’Tis 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sicut arcus incurvata. 
 
 Ingens, bumeriique lata •, 
 
 Oculis falaces, forteis 
 Mcechos notans irretortis ? 
 
 Cujus lateri haerebat 
 ifroiJJ pufilla *, dum monebat 
 Hsec Reginam, turpe ridens, T 
 Obfcceneque loquax, cui dens S 
 Hie, hie, & alter-tridens. J 
 
 Hac mordaci deferiptione Caftellum Re- 
 glum jam primum intranti Andromache 
 Mavortis mihi innotuit. 
 
 .tfrofti punlla — cujufdam Trauli uxor 
 puinila, Juda:a,ex Batavorumgente oriunda. 
 Hac Muliercula fupra omnes amatores a- 
 micafque Mira: placuit, (A Primaria Tri- 
 badum feu Lesbiadum nomine infignita eji. 
 
 In Lib. 3. Damonium Mir* appella- 
 tur, ubi mores (A facinora ejus depinguntur. 
 Tir-Oen. 
 
 The fir ft Time I went to the Cajile (fays 
 Tir-Oen) I immediately dijlinguijhed the 
 huge Wife of Sir Mars by this farcajlical 
 DefcripUon . 
 
 iFrolt) pufilla, or the little Dutch jfrOto 
 is the Wife of one T raulus. She is a Jewefs 
 anda Dwarf However , this Utile Wo¬ 
 man gave Myra more Pleafure than all the 
 reft of Ur Lovers and Mijlrejfes . She was 
 
 therefore dignified with the Title of Chief 
 of the Tribades or Lesbians. 
 
 In the third Book Jhe is called the Imp 
 of Myra, and there her Manners and 
 Aliions are particularly deferihed . 
 
 This is the fame Perfon who before, 
 Ver. 123. is called Little AIL 
 
 Ver. 157. But has Momus not told 
 
 &c. 
 
 Annon Momus omnia dixit 
 De hac plane, ut quae (fic fit) 
 Cornua capiti affixit ? 
 
 Nempe haec eft ilia Mira y 
 Maecha -Mira, faga dira ; 
 
 Haec, quam Hymenaeus Hymen, 
 Ifte carnifex (molimen 
 Malum certe) eheu! dabat ^ 
 
 Nuptam mi *, quae fpoliabat S 
 
 Nummis, '-erris ; inquinabat J 
 Famam meam, & amplexus: 
 
 Nec font hifolvendi nexus. 
 
 Tantane in Deum hac fus ? 
 
 Momus was the Son of Nox and Som- 
 nus. He obferved the Aflions of the other 
 Gods, and cenfured them with Freedom. 
 Momus fignifies a Jefter or Scoffer. 
 
 Hymenaus the Son of Bacchus and Ve¬ 
 nus Urania , was the God of Marriage,, 
 
 and’ 
 
54 The T O A S T. Book II 
 
 “ Tis the fame, whom before me two Mortals had 
 wedded; 
 
 “ And (if Fame does her Juftice) two hundred had 
 bedded. 
 
 JNU1FS and 
 
 i lUAiy. 
 
 To him the The latter /he prepared by mixing the Juices 
 
 of divert Rnntt find Hark* . j 
 
 -And Protestor of Virgins, 
 new-married Women offered Sacrifice, of divers Roots andHerbs 7 'and lhif 7 d. 
 But this Ceremony was omitted by Myra, ding the Hippomanes. This Potion the 
 who never prayed to the Gods for Bene- Sorcerefs took an Opportunity of giving to 
 fits ; or invoked any Deities except Hecate the Perfonjhe loved in a Glafs of Wine in 
 and her Furies. This is fufficient to inva- Soup, See. By this means Jhe conquered the 
 hdate the Charge, which Sir Mars hath Averfton which Sir Mars had to Marriage 
 here brought a^rntt Hymen } whohadin- and prevailed on him to makeherbis wU 
 
 deed long ago fpied his Concubinage, but though Jhe was then a very difarreeable bid 
 knew nothing of his Marriage, till Mo- Woman ^agreeable old 
 
 onus acquainted him with it; and even Wetjlein rejeding this Story of the 
 Jongafter that, it was a Secret here on Philtre as a Fable, is of Opinion that 
 Earth. What Motive induced the Knight the Marriage of Mars and Myra was in! 
 
 lls Mi; flicled on them by the Gods as a Punilh- 
 
 U ^^ __ Aii • «.. 
 
 firels, is an Enquiry, which has exerched 
 the Pens of feveral learned Mythologies, 
 as well as the Commentators on our Au¬ 
 thor. For ’tis well known that Mars 
 before his Fall, and for many Years after, 
 was a profefled Marriage-hater ; and 
 though fo fond of other Men’s Wives, yet 
 he could not endure the Thoughts of be- 
 ing tied to one of his own. The Opinion 
 
 ment for their funner Adulteries, Aliena- 
 rum uxoru?n olim mimium appetens Mavors 
 fud ja?n diu nimiurn contentus. Sir Mars 
 who formerly coveted every Man's Wife 
 he faw, had now too much of his own m 
 And then adds the fame Commentator, 
 Mira, qua Mavortem Adulterum deperi - 
 bat, connubio fibi junttum odio habuit. 
 Myra, though fo fond of Mars , while he 
 
 SSfcJ a ,T’ W , hiC ^ 1£ com P°unded with Cuper, without enquiring into the Par 
 luch Skill, and which operated fo powerful- ticulars o fthkfimmndr™- til6 , " 
 
 ly, that the amorous F it laded thL Lunar S M^m t Z by 
 
 Months. Thus Tir-Oen, Sfe 
 
 Philirum feu Poculum Amoris parabat \ 
 ac Potionem Vino aut Cibis infufam nihil 
 fufpicanti Amato da bat Vcnefica. Hdc arte 
 objlinationem Martis, cum nuptiis averfare- 
 tur, pervidt ; & jam ex Schaniculd ft 
 
 r i j? i • r» /• jur ttje 
 
 fake ofhisPerfon, (for he was then grown 
 old) but to pojfefs herfelf of his Horfes , 
 Lands, Money, &c. J 
 
 Thefe are the Opinions of the three 
 Commentators, and for my part I am in- 
 
 Bellatoris Conjux. ~ Whenever Mvra L*' '-y«»tiicmaiore, ana tor my part I am in- 
 >'M in if lTZ A t aX) 'i Z f "T" *">'? «•» = 
 
 ‘“ d Rmurfi u Incmumm and Aula, reconciled m V aU ealll ) r 
 
 f But 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 55 
 
 u But her various Amours never gave me great Pain♦ 
 
 “ Things unpra&is’d perhaps in old Saturn's cold Reign. 
 tC Well I wot, modern Wives are refin’d in their 
 Tafte: 165 
 
 “ Who pretends, fince th’ Acceflion of Jove, to be 
 chafte ? 
 
 “ But the Matter, which made the poor Husband repent, 
 “ Was the State fhe affum’d, and the Money fhe fpent. 
 w For fhe now would be worfhip’d (a Goddefs by Mar¬ 
 riage !) 
 
 « Rich, as Juno's her Drefs, and as haughty her Car¬ 
 riage; 170 
 
 “ With Contempt looking down on fimple Mortality, 
 
 « What an Havock fhe made to fupport her new Quality! 
 « All my Jewels, and Plate, all my Goods, and my 
 Chattels, 
 
 « All the Pay, and the Prefents I got by my Battles; 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 164. ‘Things unpraRis'd perhaps Tir-Oen here remarks, ^that Six Mars 
 &c. 
 
 Haud Saturni forfan vidit 
 Regnum moechos. Sed uxores 
 Imperante politiores 
 Noftro Jove : jam Amicae 
 Cunttae fiunt impudicae. 
 
 « All 
 
 naa tnree general i opics oi v^unvciiauuji^, 
 viz. De Diis & Superioribus femper male 
 loqui? Matronam nullam ejfe pudicam jure 
 jurando affirmare , fe ac facinora fua longs 
 fermone j a Silt are. ‘To blafpbeme the Gods 
 and calumniate his Betters ; To jwear that 
 no married Woman is chajle ; To boaji im* 
 moderately of bimfelf and his Exploits. 
 
5<5 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 “ All I gain’d by exporting War-Horles to Gallia , 175 
 
 (( She accounted Para- (what d’ye call era ?) - phernalia . 
 
 (t Nor my Jewels, or Chattels, or Pay would fuffice: 
 
 “ Ev’ry Banker was wheedled to furnifh Supplies. 
 
 <l .As my Debts thus encreas’d, fhe enlarg’d her De¬ 
 mands ; 
 
 “ Till I fold my fine Stud ; and then mortgag’d my 
 Lands. x 80 
 
 “ Nor the Piftoles fhe lpar’d, when I beg’d for the 
 Few, 
 
 (i Which remain’d — My dear Mars> there are more 
 in Peru: 
 
 “ Canft not thou here import ’em by Magic Divine ? 
 
 £C Or elfe open on Bellewjlown Hills a Gold Mine ? 
 
 “ But 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 176. She accounted Para- {what 
 d'ye call 'em ?) -phernalia. 
 
 Nec luxurias modum fixit: 
 
 Omnia mea, fua dixit 
 Para- para-- (hem!) phernalia. 
 Haud in Coelis uxor talia. 
 
 Paraphernalia, or Paraphernalia, or 
 Parapherna , are thofe Goods which a 
 Woman brings her Husband over and a- 
 bove her Dower. 
 
 Ver. 180. ’Till I fold my fine Stud See. 
 Terras, equos, ac pulchrarum 
 wios vendidi equarum. 
 
 The Knight had once a very fine Stud, 
 and was growing famous for his Breed of 
 Horfes. He had already exported fome 
 into France, and had great Returns. But 
 this laudable Projeft of inriching himfelf, 
 was defeated by the Extravagance of My¬ 
 ra-. For he was obliged to fell at one time a 
 hundred of his choice Mares to pay her 
 Play Debts, &c. 
 
 Ver. 183. Canft not thou here import 
 Sec. 
 
 Heic Philippas importato : 
 
 Sive noftra perforato 
 
 Bellewftoni juga : verte ; 
 
 Aurum intus ■, plumbutn certe. 
 
 When 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 
 
 “ But to this I obje&ed-I live here Incogs 
 
 <£ And derive no more Pow’r from above than King Log. 
 “ I m Chevalier, ’tis true : But alas! modern Knight- 
 “ Hood’s become a mere Jeft, and there’s nothing got 
 
 by’t. 
 
 “ And your Highnefs would want a plain Dinner, and 
 Dwelling, 
 
 “ In my Youth had I not underftood Colonelling. 190 
 <£ But if thus you make wafte, I muft hide my old Head) 
 
 “ Or follicit the Sutler to truft us for Bread.- 
 
 <£ Sudden anfwer’d the Dame:— Unabafh’d who can hear 
 “ The renown’d God of Battle expreffing fuchFear; 
 
 “ With 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 When Myra had fquander’d away all Jilt modo defgnat, mo do meretricula cuipi - 
 
 Sir Mars's Money, and had fold all his am aureos montes pollicetur ? How often 
 Moveables, fhe propofes to him, as with- have I beheld that Braggadocio of a Soldier , 
 in the Power of his Divinity, to difpatch till I grew quite fick , while he was either 
 an invifible Agent to the Spanijh IVeJl In - marking out for himfelf a Kingdom , or pro¬ 
 dies for a Supply; or to open a Mine oh mifingfome little Harlot Mountains of Gold. 
 Bellewflown Hills near Drogheda , the In this Place indeed, Sir Mars replies 
 Jointure Lands of the old Sorcerefs. As to his Spoufe with great Humility, and 
 ridiculous as this Requeft may feem, fhe acknowledges his Incapacity and Want 
 was encouraged to make it, from the of Power ; but he foon relapfes, and in- 
 Knight’s vain-glorious Declarations be- fenfibly affumes his natural Character. 
 
 . Ut WUUIU LliCll UUaiT, TT . ^ 
 
 I Mars 
 
58 The T O A S T. Book II. 
 
 <c With his own loving Wife Money Matters dilput- 
 ing: 195 
 
 “ Is the Genius of Mars thus unskill’d in Recruiting ? 
 
 <c For Subffftence, to whom need a Soldier owe Thanks, 
 “ Where a King has Exchequers,and Subjects have Banks ? 
 “ Could I wear your bold Front, and your Breeches, 
 would I go 
 
 “ Into Flanders, and plunder, as you did at Vigo. 200 
 “ Modern Knighthood, I ween, much Relief may afford, 
 “ If, inftead of a Muff, you would wield a Broad Sword. 
 
 NOTES and O 
 Mars hrec ? Tecum mi fimultas. 
 Quod numaria difficultas ? 
 
 Verbis fide, quae ego do : 
 Aliquid, a-liquo inodo, 
 
 Alicunde, ab a-Jiqui, 
 
 Aliqua fpes eft. Ubique 
 Reges enim, Regii Fil'd, 
 Argentarife. Miles hifce 
 Te immifce! Audi quur ! 
 Aurifer , qui Aurifur. 
 
 Tir- Oen remarks. That in a little time 
 after the Sorcerefs had given this Advice 
 to her Husband, the Englijh Exchequer 
 was robbed of a great Sum of Money : 
 And our Commentator is of Opinion, that 
 Myra was Principal in the Action fmce 
 ’tis now more than probable that it was 
 effefled by Inchantment : Otherwife, 
 lbme of the Perfons who were concerned 
 m the Robbery, mull have been dif- 
 covered, confidering the Induftry ufed, 
 an the great Reward offered for that 
 urpo e. However, my Country-man 
 acquits the poor Knight of being in any 
 
 “ Is 
 
 BSERVATIONS. 
 
 Manner privy to this Affair, or of having 
 ever received the lead Benefit by it. 
 
 Ver. 200. —— and plunder , as you 
 did at Vigo. 
 
 Quas opima fpolia Vigo 
 Tibi olim, miles, mi go- 
 bio, detrahas Bel-gicis 
 Inimicis, feu amicis j 
 Si ex me a enatare 
 Concha calles -- ac pugnare. 
 
 Sir Mars was Quarter Maffer General 
 at the Vigo Expedition, and by that means 
 had many Opportunities of enriching him- 
 felf by P under. But (if I am rightly in¬ 
 formed) he brought nothing home more 
 than he carried out, except a Jar of Snuff 
 and a Silver Crucifix. He took away the 
 latter not fo much for the Value of the 
 Metal, as for the fake of committing a 
 piece of Sacrilege, which muff be allowed 
 a meritorious Adtion in a Pagan Divinity 
 
 Vei\ 202. If inftead of a Muff, See. 
 Grandes cogas jam divitias, 
 Manticatam fi abjicias 
 
 Pellem 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 
 
 “ Is not he a mere Rec’rant, whofe Wife is unfed, 
 
 “ When by ftorming a Windmill he’s fureto get Bread? 
 “ Thus reproaching fhe fir’d me. I fold my Deben¬ 
 tures ; 20 ^ 
 
 “ And equiptjlike St. George, went in queft of Adventures: 
 “ Having firft fwore by Styx not to Borrow, or Pay; 
 
 <c Or to bow at the Caftle, or fweat on the Quay ; 
 
 “ Till that T, by my Provvefs, a Kingdom had won ; 
 
 “ Or had forc’d from great Chymifts Philofopher's 
 Stone. 210 
 
 “ While 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Pellem iftam •, fi te fingas 
 Effe eras qui •, & ftringas 
 Enfem Martis. Namque fic cut- 
 ypios nobis, ipfe Quixot. 
 Qui^vel mola panem dare •, 
 Molam fi tu expugnare. 
 
 The Knight feldom appeared abroad 
 without a large Muffhanging at his Girdle. 
 See (in the 4th Book) the great Benefit 
 he received by wearing his Muff, when 
 he fought with Jldyra. 
 
 205; Thus reproaching fhe fir'd me, &£. 
 Probris fu'is me prole&at; 
 
 Et majori fic affeftat 
 Damno laga.^ Arma induo, 
 
 Quae haud Hb^Georgius quin duo 
 sEgre ferant Gecrgii Divi *, ^ 
 
 At concutere v quae quivi. \ 
 
 Tunc, ut mea vine ant, fivi.' J 
 
 See an Account of St. George in the 4th 
 Book. 
 
 Ver. 207. Having firft'fwore by Scyx* 
 &c. 
 
 Abjuravi nunc caftellum, 
 
 Et juravi ingens bellum ; 
 
 Quod per Styga iteravi, 
 
 Uti fieret via vi; 
 
 Ut nec tempus fit folvendi, 
 
 Neque mutuum petendi, 
 
 Nec fudandi, ubi, Vfher, 
 
 Tuus Cothon : ubi pus Her - 
 maphroditus ac venenum 
 Mifctt, quando dat — Quid ? The 
 num ? 
 
 Styx is a River of Hell, and fo facred 
 to the Gods, that when any of them 
 fwore by it, and broke their Oath, they 
 were deprived of their Divinity and ba- 
 nifhed. Why this particular Honour was 
 granted to Styx, fee Hcfiod's Thcogonia. 
 
 Caper is of Opinion, Thai the frequent 
 Perjuries of Mars were the real Caufe of 
 his Exile. 
 
 I 2 
 
 Gothvn 
 
60 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 <c While I thus form the Hero of future Romances; 
 
 “ Lo! a dire Difafter ruins all my gay Fancies. 
 
 “ For Minerva that Prude, on a filly Pretence, 
 
 “ That my Adtions on Earth gave her Highnefs Offence, 
 “ Here incites a young Squire, by my Prefence un¬ 
 aw’d, 215 
 
 “ To revile me in Publick-and Cudgel a God! 
 
 “ Nor fo great the Affront, fo malicious the Trick, 
 
 “ Which Ihe ferv’d me at Troy in defending the Greek ; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Cothon feu Caia Ufferi WUsfheri locus 
 ubi hahitabat Uxor Martis. Tir-Oen. 
 Usffier’r ^uay (in Dublin) is that Part of 
 the City where Myra then lived . 
 
 Sudare, i. e. Permolere My ram. 
 
 Ver. 215. Here incites a young Squire , 
 &c. 
 
 Dum juvenculo adfiiit, 
 
 Vultus Martis haud terru-it. 
 
 Nam opprobria hie Gafneus 
 
 Dixit — Vapulatque Deus! 
 
 John Bellew of Gafny , Efq; was the 
 Perfon who cudgelled Sir Mars. The 
 Knight had done this Gentleman fome 
 very ill Offices ; and had fecretly endea¬ 
 voured to hurt him in his private Fortune. 
 Of this Mr. Bellew being well informed, 
 demanded Satisfaction ; and fent a Chal¬ 
 lenge to our Hero by a Perfon of Honour, 
 one of his near Relations ; To which the 
 cautious Knight returned for Anfwer, 
 
 * c That he then was extremely indifpofed, 
 
 and therefore obliged to decline the 
 Ci Compliment: But would takeall imagi- 
 <c nable Care to recover as faft as he could ; 
 u and that as fbon as he found himfelf 
 c< in a fighting Condition, he would ap- 
 <c point the Weapons and place of Meet- 
 ing.” — - Thus the Matter refted for 
 about three Weeks; during which Time, 
 the Knight went every Day abroad, and 
 appeared at Court, in the Ring, and in 
 all publick Places, without any vilible 
 Mark of Sicknefs, except fometimes be¬ 
 ing wrapt up in a Cloak. Mr. Bellew 
 conceiving himfelf now doubly injured, 
 and that fuch a Slight and Infult demand¬ 
 ed another Sort of Satisfaction than what 
 he before intended, took the firft Opportu- 
 nity,hecould conveniently to approach our 
 moft noble Colonel, to give him without 
 Ceremony, the Correction of the Cudgel. 
 This memorable ACtion happened at 
 Dick’s Coffee-houfe in Skinner‘Row ; 
 where the old Woman ftill fhews the 
 Place and Pofture in which Sir Mars 
 flood, and the Manner in which Mr. Bel - 
 lew attacked him. 
 
 <c For 
 
61 
 
 Book II. The TOAST. 
 
 “ For the Wound that was giv’nmeby Diomed's Spear, 
 “ Was a Mark of my Courage — Fortune de la 
 Guerre ! 2 20 
 
 <c But a curs’d Baflinado imprints fuch Difgrace, 
 
 As my Merit can’t cover, nor Time can efface. 
 
 “ Nor if you, Sir, or Jove fhould be flain’d with this Blot, 
 “ And ye both were to die, would it e’er be forgot.” 
 Here Apollo enquir’d, “ Why he did not oppofe 225 
 “ All his Force to revenge, or to parry the Blows . 
 Thus the Knight anfwer’d fhrugging: — “ Nor could 
 I oppofe ; 
 
 “ Or had Force to revenge, or to parry the Blows. 
 
 “ When 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 219. For the Wound which was 
 given by Diomed’j Spear. 
 
 Certe lignum noftrae vir- 
 tutis, — Fortune de la Guerre f 
 Filii hafta cum Tydei 
 Nos percuffit. At Gafnei 
 Heu ! damnofa (certum trado) 
 Laefit famam Bajlimdo. 
 
 Tuos Phcebe , fi quis lurnbos. 
 
 Si vel Jovis (nifi qtium bos) 
 
 Fufte dolet-aut in-nuat; 1 
 
 Virtus, quanta quanta fuat v S 
 
 Haud jam maculam eluat: J 
 
 Tibi nec paretur quies, 1 
 
 Nec imminuat ulla dies V 
 
 Probrum — fi vel mortuus fies. j 
 
 As this Aflion at the Siege of Trey is 
 related by Homer , I cannot think it re¬ 
 dounds to the Honour of Sir Mars , tho ? 
 he urges it here as an inconteftible Proof 
 of his Courage. He fought indeed furl- 
 oufly for fome Time, and as long as he 
 met with little Reliftance; but as foon as 
 he receiv’d a flight Wound, hcroared'and 
 ran away. 
 
 At Gafnei — Damnofa — Baflinado. 
 To be cudgelled is certainly a grievous 
 Misfortune, efpecially to a Soldier: For 
 the Ignominy, as the Knight obferves, is 
 never to be wiped off. But this is to be 
 underftood, only, when the Wight, who 
 has received the Baflinado, fits down 
 quietly without relenting the Affronts 
 For any Man may repair his Honour by 
 
 afterwards 
 
6-2 
 
 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 “ When I fell from Olympus (unjuft was my Doom!) 
 
 * 
 
 “ For my Safety compel’d human Form to affume; 230 
 “ Well compacted, and nervous, becoming a God, I 
 <c To Prometheus gave Orders to make me a Body. 
 
 “ But my Grinders excepted, a little fine Blood, 
 cc And a favourite Member, that whilom was good; 
 
 “ H e ha§ work’d up my Garcafe with very coarfe 
 Pafte; 235 
 
 “ Or ’tis elfe fome old Stuff, which the Knave has new 
 caff 
 
 As you fee, I m Wrong-headed: Too thick is my Scull, 
 “ With a deep Pia Mater, that is not half full. 
 
 “ lVe within a white Liver, o’erflow’d with black Gall, 
 And a hollow falfeHeart, very hard, and too Small. 240 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 
 afterwards fighting his Adverfary. Wet- 
 jiein in his Note on this Place feems defi- 
 rous to be informed, whether the Stick 
 which Mr. Bellezv ufed, was Cane, Oak, 
 or Crab -7 ree; and is of Opinion that 
 the Value of the Wood alters the Nature 
 of the Affront. But I think our military 
 Courts, as well as the Courts of Honour 
 oftabhfhed in France , make no Difference 
 in this Cafe. 
 
 Ver. 232. To Prometheus gave Or¬ 
 ders See. 
 
 Et prtecepi Prome-theo, 
 
 Ut ex luto Herculeo 
 Eaciat corpus aptum Deo. 
 
 } 
 
 Pi ometheus the Son of Iapetus and the 
 I* ather of Deucalion , was the firft we find 
 m Hiffory, who formed a Man out of 
 Clay, which he performed with fo much 
 Art and Skill, that Adinerva offered him 
 any Thing in her Power to make it com- 
 pleat; and by her Affiftance he afterwards 
 hole Fire from Heaven to animate his 
 VVork It was probably owing to the 
 inlinuations and Artifice of this Goddefs 
 and the Influence Ihe had over Prometheus. 
 that the Body of our Hero was fo ill 
 made. 
 
 \ e.. 238.. With a deep Pia Mater, 
 that is not halj'full. 
 
 Laxa 
 
Eook II. The TOAST. 6 3 
 
 <c Pray obferve my foft Look, and howfupplemy Face; 
 “ (Tho’ the Rafcal pretends there’s a Mixture of Brafs] 
 “ How my Ears are the fame, you bellow’d on the King; 
 “ Him I mean, who deny’d, that Apollo could ling. 
 
 “ That, my Breath, and my Features are vaftly too 
 ftrong; 245 
 
 “ Full of Evil my Tongue, and three Inches too long. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Laxa neque femiplena 
 Via Mater . Sed per z yj'vcc. 
 
 Rabie plena ; nam innata , 
 
 Non a Prometheo data . 
 
 The Via Mater is a thin fine Mem¬ 
 brane, which inclofes the Brain and Cere- 
 helium. 
 
 Ver. 242. Tho 9 the Rafcal pretends &c. 
 Si ex nebulone quaeris 
 Aut fi fronti credide-ris, V 
 
 Pondo admifcetur IE ris. J 
 
 Meflieurs Cuper and Wctjlein , who had 
 both frequently feen Sir Mars in Holland , 
 are of Opinion, that Prometheus' truly 
 ufed a whole Pound of Brafs in the Com- 
 pofition of the W arrior’s F ront; tho’ they 
 allow the Accufation in all other refpects 
 to be juft. Certainly , fays Tir-Oen , if 
 cur Hero wanted Brafs , it was his own 
 Fault. Si non 4 henea caperat Frons He - 
 rois noftri, fibimet ipfi imputetur. Nam - 
 que ad Trojam , &c. For before his Fall 
 he was ufually adorned with fo great a 
 Quantity of that Metal, that at the Siege 
 of Troy he was commonly called XocAkcos 
 v Ap>7!;, or Colonel Brazen ; and when 
 Hojner fpeaks of him with molt refpewt, 
 he diftinguifhes him by this Title* 
 
 Ver. 243. How my Ears the fame &c* 
 Aures mihi impofu- 
 it, quas afininas tu 
 Regi, cujus mens infana 
 Tibi pnetuliffet Pana* 
 
 Pan the God of Shepherds had the Va¬ 
 nity to contend with Apollo for the Ma¬ 
 ttery in Singing; and Midas , King of 
 Phrygia , who was one of the Judges, 
 gave the Preference to Pan , for which 
 Apollo clapt a Pair of Afles Ears on his* 
 Head. Hence arofe the Proverb, 
 
 Auriculas Afini Midas Rex habet ... 
 
 Intimating, fuch as are incapable to judge 
 rightly of what they hear, yet can hear 
 at a great Hiftance. Afles Ears are very 
 inconvenient to a private Perfon ; but to 
 be dreaded when they appear on the 
 Head of a King. —- Cuper imagines, 
 that the feveral iVl isfortunes which befel 
 Sir Mars here on Earth, are to be afcribed 
 to the Gravitation of his Head, and the 
 Length of his Ears and Tongue • and not 
 to the want ofElafticity in his Hands and 
 Arms, as pretended by the Knight in the 
 following Verfes. 
 
 But 
 
 / 
 
 
6 \ The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 ££ But behold thefe curs’d Members, the Source of my 
 Harms, 
 
 “ Inoffenfive weak Hands, and unmufcular Arms ; 
 t£ Vileft Parts, unendu’d with a Power elaftic, 
 
 ££ Thatinleniible fuffer the Preffures of a Stick! 250 
 “ Yet the Cudgel unfeen, and the Foe at a Diftance ; 
 
 ‘‘ How they brandifh a Weapon, and feign a Reliftance! 
 
 “ Better form’d was Sir Hudi -and eke his low Squire; 
 
 Ct More robuft in their Limbs (tho’ they wanted my Fire) 
 <£ Which undaunted have oft a dry Bailing withftood; 255 
 ££ Tho’ afraid of cold Iron, durft rife againft Wood. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 247. But behold thefe &c. 
 
 Sed ignavam hanc cundtorum 
 Caufam afpice malorum 
 Dexcram ; hofce nec torolos, 
 
 Nee lacertos bellicofos ! 
 
 I am very unwilling to differ from the 
 three Learned Gentlemen, to whom I am 
 obliged for the belt Part of my Notes on 
 this Author. But I muft maintain, that 
 Sir Mars 's Accufation of Prometheus is not 
 altogether fojuft as they allow it to be. If 
 we examine his Charader by the Iliad, 
 which is the Touchllone to prove him by, 
 we fhall find, that, even in his State of 
 Glory, he had a Wrong Head, an Hard 
 Heart, and a Bad Tongue. I refer to his 
 feyeral Titles, and Actions, as related by 
 Homer, for the Truth of this After tion. 
 As to the Weaknefs of his Hands and 
 Arms, and the want of Mufcles and E- 
 lafticity, of which the Knight complains, 
 ’tis a merejeft; and urged by him, only 
 to cover his Poltroonery. The Truth is, 
 that he would not, either before ox fince 
 
 his Fall, engage where he was likely to 
 meet with any ftrong Oppofition : And 
 it cannot be in (lanced from Hiftory, that 
 this mighty Hero ever fl ruck again, after 
 he had been once wounded, or had re¬ 
 ceived two or three Blows. The Romans 
 had a much greater Veneration for him, 
 than the Greeks , yet they could not con¬ 
 ceal the ill Qualities of their God. For, 
 to omit at prefent all the hard Words 
 which Virgil , Ovid, Lucan, Statius , St¬ 
 ilus Italicus, Claudian , and many other 
 of the old Latin Poets have given him, 
 Juvenal diredly charges him with want 
 of Courage ; or an Inability to defend ei¬ 
 ther his Goods or Perfon, when he was 
 attacked in his own Temple. 
 
 Px quo Mars TJltor Galeam quoqite per- 
 didit , & res 
 
 Non potuit fervare fuas, Juv. Sat. 14. 
 
 Since Mars, whom we the Great Reven¬ 
 ger call, 
 
 Lojl his own Helmet, and was Jlript of all. 
 
 Dryd. 
 
 « Now 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 6e, 
 
 “ Now fo weak in the Flefh, yet, by Jupiter , I am 
 “ In my Spirit, as brave, as when we fought for Priam. 
 <c Foly who knows all my Thoughts, if he pleafes, can 
 tell you, 
 
 « Many times, in my Mind, I have kill’d that Jack 
 Bellew. 260 
 
 “ Vol 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 257. Now fo weak in the Flejh , plentiful Dinner, being well heated with 
 &c. Wine, his Guefts departed, and Servants 
 
 Quantus, qualis (tyixlcf difmilfed, carefully locked his Parlour 
 
 Cum oro Troia ftarem. flares. Door : Then fuppofing his Adverfarv to 
 
 <uiu iiicdLilcu It Wltn great V.OITI- 
 
 placency; fung an Io Triumphe fitting 
 
 upon his Enemy, whom he had thus mor¬ 
 tally wounded, and fell fall afleep. Tir- 
 Oen, who had frequently feen this Chair, 
 declares, it was ragged and tattered, and 
 that he had obferved the Sun to fhine 
 through it in feveral Places. And a skil¬ 
 ful Operator of my Acquaintance allures 
 me, that upon a certain Occalion he had 
 probed and examined thefe Holes or 
 Wounds; and plainly difcovered, that 
 they could not have been made by any 
 other Weapon than a Spanijh Rapier. But 
 alas! this was not the Fate of poor Mr. 
 
 Ver. 259. Vol, who knows all my 
 
 Thoughts, See. 
 
 Tibi dicat, bone Sol, 
 
 (Dicere fi lubeat Vol, 
 
 Ubi ego, Vol eft domi, 
 
 Ac mi melior, quam ego mi ; 
 Meam infpicitque mentem) 
 Quoties inlcium ac ablentem 
 Provocavi ad Duellu’; 
 
 Et occidi Jaccum Bellew. 
 
 Oen, who had frequently feen this Chair, 
 
 It was a Cuftom inviolably obferved by Bellew only. For in like manner our 
 Sir Mars, after he bad been cudgelled by Hero revenged himfelfon all other his re- 
 Mr. Bellew, to kill that Gentleman puted Enemies; and on all Perfons in 
 MENTALLY, once at lead, every Day. high Stations, who did not pay him 
 This gallant Aftion was performed in the what he thought a proper Refpeci, or 
 following manner. The Knight, after a whofe Opinions or Principles were not 
 
 K 
 
 conformable 
 
 
66 The T O A S T. Book II. 
 
 Vol attefted the Fact, fwearing hard, “ That he knew, 
 
 “ All his Brother had urg’d, to a tittle was true.- 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 conformable to his own. Some he killed 
 by overturning his Table; others by flit¬ 
 ting a Pannel of the Wainfcot. And 
 thofe, who were moft hateful to him, he 
 deftroyed by running his Head with a true 
 martial Fury through the Safh Windows. 
 
 In thefe lafl: Encounters he was fometimes 
 defperately woundted : Particularly, once 
 in attempting to flay a perverfe Englijh - 
 man 9 with whom he had fome Law Dif- 
 putes, the noble Knight was in Danger 
 of lofing both his Ears. 
 
 For the Reader’s Satisfaction, I have here added an Alphabetical Lift of 
 * the Perfons, who have been mentally killed by Sir Mars<> from die 
 Year 1708 to the Year 1728 ; faithfully extracted from the Encomium 
 MartiSy or Killing no Murder . 
 
 Aldermen ■ - - — - 6—0 
 
 
 3 ^ 
 
 T C\ 1 
 
 
 10 i 
 
 X/uKCIo 
 
 3 0 
 
 
 4—0 
 
 
 
 :>—^ 
 
 
 
 
 70 
 
 
 
 V/tHLix Jl UIvO . ■' 
 
 2 3 2 
 
 
 4 0 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 S ' 0 
 
 Jaylors - 1—0 
 
 Judges- 
 
 Keepers of the Phoenix Park - 
 Kings-— 
 
 Knights --- 
 
 Lords, Lords Lieutenants, 
 
 Lords Juftices--— 
 
 Milliners-Women- 
 
 Pari iament-Men- 
 
 Pawn-Brokers--- 
 
 Pimps -■ — ■■■ -- 
 
 Poets- 
 
 Popes —..—-- 
 
 Priefts •-*- 
 
 and 
 
 -23—0 
 
 - 9 —i 
 -2—o 
 
 Sheriffs and Under-Sheriffs • 
 
 Surgeons-— 
 
 Vifcountefs . . . — -—_ 
 
 Vintners -—■ — - ■ 
 
 Wine Merchants 
 
 In all 
 
 • Males — 
 Females * 
 
 Total of the Slain 
 
 
 1 7—0 
 
 — 3 ~o 
 —59—0 
 
 — 6—o 
 
 — 18—o 
 
 — 2—o 
 
 — 4—0 
 -365—0 
 
 — 6—o 
 
 — 2—o 
 
 — I-o 
 
 — 2——O 
 
 4—o 
 
 667 
 
 -14 
 
 681 
 
 N. B. Several Perfons in the above Lift were killed by Miftake, others after they 
 were dead: And fome few, who found the means of being reconciled to the old 
 Knight, were fuffered to live again, and pafs the reft of their Days unmolefted 
 Particularly a tall Keeper called Halpen , or Halfpenny , after he had been killed 
 or mortally wounded a hundred and ten Times, grew into fuch Favour with 
 our Hero, that he preferred him to a Place of Truft and Profit within his 
 Jurifdi&ion. 
 
 N. B. In this Lift are not reckoned the Knight’s Domeftick Servants, who were flam 
 for every trifling Offence, without regard to Sex, or Age. 
 
 ^uare. Whether the Doftor of Law, and the two Poets Ihould not be included in 
 the Article of Devils ! 
 
 (if 
 

 Book II. The T O A S T. 
 
 (If the Knight’s at a Lofs, Vol unfolds the Affair, 
 
 Ever ready, when Seconds are wanting, to swear.) 
 
 And he added, -- “ Hard Fate ! that fo gallant a 
 
 Mind 265 
 
 “ Should be thus to a vile Habitation confin’d. 
 
 “ How Heroic his Thoughts, tho’ his Figure is mean! 
 “ How his Spirit would fhine, if it could but be feen! 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 263. If the Knight's at a Lofs> 
 Vol &c. 
 
 Res nodofas explicare 
 Vol paratus, ac jurare 
 Vera, falfa, quot & quae Tint, 
 Teftes fi famofi defint. 
 
 Among all the Inhabitants of this Ifland, 
 no one was more unjuft in his Dealings 
 than the Knight. He never paid his Debts 
 or performed his Contrafts but by Com- 
 pullion. He never acknowledged the Re¬ 
 ceipt of Monies, but even denied his Own 
 Signature, ifproducedagainfthim. When 
 he fold or mortgaged his Lands or Houfes, 
 he would endeavour afterwards to make 
 void .the Deeds figned, by affirming 
 they were only in Truft for himfelf; or 
 that he had been impofed on and cheated, 
 for he never would remember what he 
 had figned and fealed. In all thefe infa¬ 
 mous Retractations Vol was his faithful 
 Confederate, and never fcrupled to invent 
 Circumftances, and atteft them publickly, 
 if by fuch a Method he could be fervice- 
 able to his Brother’s Caufe. This is what 
 the Poet infinuates here: But I fhall 
 have Occafion to enlarge on this Subject 
 in another Place. 
 
 Vcr. 268. How his Spirit wouldJhine y 
 &c. 
 
 Qualis fplendor, gratia qualis. 
 
 Si Martialis , immortalis 
 Spiritus jam compareret! vy 
 
 Qualis vis, fi quid a-geret! s 
 Si quid agat, quis videret! J 
 
 Our Author feems to have taken this 
 Hint from an Epiflle to Sir Mars> written 
 in the Name of V ?/, and in the old Irijh 
 Language, by Benedict Mulhollan a Druid 
 of Wicklew , which was publifhed a little 
 before Mr. Scheffer’s Poem. I have here 
 tranflated the Beginning of that Epiftle, to 
 give the Englijh Reader a Specimen of 
 Mulhollan’s Manner. I intend fhortly to 
 tranflate the whole; as alfo fome other 
 Pieces of this eminent Druid , to do far¬ 
 ther Honour to Mr. Scheffer’s Heroes. 
 
 Vol to the Chevalier Mars S. D. 
 
 Knight , here are fancy Gypftes , who divine , 
 Our Wealth and Pafftons by a fingle Line * 
 Thus theyforetelyour Courage by your Mien y 
 And counfel Mars to combat Harlequin. 
 Me, undifeerning , too the fades uncafe , 
 And fuuear my Soul is blacker than my Face . 
 But well I ken y your Mind , /Ethereal Spark y 
 Like heart of Oak’s inclos’d in wrinkled 
 Bark . 
 
 As you perceive my inward Man to Jhine : 
 Foul Bottles thus contain the brightejl Wine 
 
 K 2 “ His 
 
< 58 , The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 “ His Afiaflins thus hide in dark Lanterns their Light: 
 “ Thus his Scabbard, tho’ rufty; his Sword, it is 
 bright. 270 
 
 « But be juft, O ye Gods! Let his Talents be known; 
 “ And the Conquefts he makes, when the Chieftain’s 
 alone! 
 
 tc Let his mental Atchievements, which O^uixoth furpafs, 
 4< Or be writ in Gold Letters, or graven on Brafs! 
 
 “ Or to me lend thy Pipe, and Poetical Power; 275 
 
 w And an Iliad I’ll frame — with the Ads of one 
 Hour. 
 
 « While my Works in full Brightnefs his Spirit pro¬ 
 duce ; 
 
 « Tho’ you fancy at prefent ’tis fit for no Ufe: 
 
 “ As you fee me extrad a bright Flame from a Flint, 
 
 <{ When perhaps not a Spark to your thinking is in’t. 280 
 « Well, O V 9/, haft thou fpoke, faid Apollo , and fmil’dt 
 “ Yet be not by falfe Fire, or thy Genius beguil’d! 
 
 “ Nor can I tune thy Voice, orinftrud thee to play: 
 
 4< For attempting to chaunt, I’m afraid, thouwould’ft 
 bray. 
 
 « If an Iliad you want, and are truly inclin’d 285 
 « To extol the bold Knight, and to image his Mind; 
 
 “ Go 
 
 1 
 
Book II. The T O A S T. 69 
 
 iC Go addrefsthe great Bard, whom I’vechofen toflng; 
 “ To exalt Men of Merit, but flatter no King. 
 
 “ Lilliputians who feign’d, pretty Pygmy Dwarf 
 People; 
 
 u And the Brob-dig-nag Giants built high as a 
 Steeple. - 290 
 
 NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 287. Go addrefs the great Bard. 
 &c. 
 
 Hunc orate (juvent te DiJ 
 Artem carminis cui dedi; 
 
 Bonos folers qui cantare, 
 
 Nefcit Reges adulare. 
 
 Lilliputice fingit bellum 
 Qui pigmceulum popellum r 
 Condit Brobdignag-giantes 
 Gigantijfimos gigantes 
 Turrium inftar. Hand nefarii 
 Terrent mince Jufticiarii 
 Nec quid verba , quoe Rex dedit ; 
 Et Salmonei fulmen cedit 
 Tuo Yates : Suum te fens- 
 it haec Urbs praefidium praefens. 
 
 O quam digne, led jocole* 
 
 Res non geftas, animofe, 
 
 Dicas, quas excogitavit, 'l 
 
 Et, quam fortiter pugnavit \ 
 Mens Mavortis •, qui fit , qua fit.J 
 
 The Poet here alludes to an Attempt 
 that was made about the Year 1723, by 
 one Wood and his Accomplices, to im- 
 pofe an unlimited Coinage of bafe Half¬ 
 pence upon this Kingdom; by which 
 means they would in a little Time have 
 infallibly drawn all the Gold and Silver 
 Species out of the Country. This ini¬ 
 quitous Project was defeated chiefly by 
 fome excellent Papers called The Drapier's 
 Letters, which were wrote by Dr. S ~—/ 
 
 Dean of St. P -- V; than whom no* 
 
 Country can boaft a truer Patriot, nor any 
 Age a greater Genius. 
 
 Et Salmonei fulmen cedit. 
 
 Salmoneus was King of Elis , a Province 
 in the Peloponnefus , now called Belvidere. 
 He was fo prefumptuous that he affe&ecf 
 to be thought a God; and to this End he 
 built a Brazen Bridge over his Capital 
 City, upon which he ufed to drive hiV 
 Chariot, that he might imitate the Thun¬ 
 derer by the Sound and Noife. Jupiter , 
 provoked at his Impiety, ftruck him dead 
 with a real Thunderbolt. This Allufion 
 our Author has borrowed from the fol¬ 
 lowing Epigram quoted by Tir Oen . 
 
 Mentiturque Jovem & fingit Salmoneus 
 arma : 
 
 Sic quoque Woodus inops intonat /Erefuo . 
 Ecce ruit Moles ! £hiid non facundia vincit / 
 Juppiter hoc potuit fulmine , voce Maro. 
 
 1. 
 
 Salmon for a Jove would pafs ; 
 
 Forg’d his Arms and feign’d his Voice • 
 Silly Wood thus fir ikes his Brafs , 
 
 And alarms us with the Noife, 
 
 2 
 
 Lo the Fabrick falls afunder ! 
 
 Who would Eloquence provoke ? 
 
 Jove was forc’d toufe his Thunder 
 But our Maro only fpoke . 
 
 « 
 
 Who. 
 
70 The T O A S T. Book II. 
 
 <c Who repell’d the Brafs Thunder, by darting his own; 
 <c And, deftroying Salmoneus , preferv’d the poor Town. 
 “ How facetious he’ll tell the great Deeds, you have 
 thought; To Mars. 
 
 c< And the Battles record, which your Fancy has 
 fought!” 
 
 Ceas’d the God. — When, in Accents uncouth, Che¬ 
 valier 295 
 
 Thus proceeds — and Apollo has Patience to hear_ 
 
 “ This Milhap being paft, I retreat to my Houfe 
 “ Much abafh’d, and fore dreading the Taunts of my 
 Spoufe: 
 
 tC But how great my Surprife, when I mark’d the 
 Alarm, 
 
 “ And the Footmen, and Women preparing to arm 1300 
 “ When the Dame thus begun, looking piteous and 
 fighing, 
 
 “ (Nor fhe feem’d to grieve more, when her Monkey 
 was dying) 
 
 “ How uncertain is War, and how vain are our Cares! 
 
 « 
 
 “ How the Fates have inverted all human Affairs! 
 
 “ Sinceafaucyraw Squire may infult a good Knight; 305 
 ** And a Col’nel be cudgel’d, and Jockeys dare fight. 
 
 “ Yet 
 
7i 
 
 BookJI. The TOAST. 
 
 “ Yet ’tis fome Confolation, and kfiens my Pain, 
 tc That you only were drubb’d — For you might have 
 been flain. 
 
 “ Then be cheary, my Mars / Be affur’d, at my fuit 
 <c That their High Excellencies fhall end the Difpute 5310 
 <c If you look not too fierce, or unaptly inter- 
 
 “ Mix a martial long Speech-and refufe to refer, 
 
 C{ But as Cudgels are wont to change mortal Condition;, 
 “ I advife, ’tis expedient to fell your Commifiion. 
 
 “ Go, and feign a Dilguft, well diflembling your 
 Fears, 315 
 
 <c That Cadogan and Temple are made Brigadeers. 
 
 NOTES and 
 
 Ver. 311. If you look not toofierce , 
 Torvus vultum fi exu-as ; 
 
 Si referre non abnu-as •, 
 Vanosmifceas nec fermones 
 Tuo more, ^nec perfones ^ 
 Aures noftrjjs. Norton es. j 
 
 Myra here alludes to a remarkable 
 Speech made by her Husband when he 
 was a Member of the Houfe of Com¬ 
 mons; where, on a Motion for a Con¬ 
 ference with the Lords, he rofe up and 
 with great Warmth inveighed againfl 
 all References', declaring, That he ne¬ 
 ver knew any Good proceed from a Re¬ 
 ference ; and that all great Bodies, as well 
 as private Perfons, ought to determine 
 their Differences in a more Gentle¬ 
 man like manner. Tir-Oen excufes 
 this Blunder or Lapfus (as he terms it) 
 
 “ Quit 
 
 OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 and thinks, it fhould not have expofed our 
 Hero to fo much Ridicule, confidering 
 the Analogy between a Reference ^Con¬ 
 ference ; and that every Reference neceffa* 
 rily implies one Conference at leaft. 
 
 It will be proper in this Place to ob¬ 
 serve, that Myra , by her Addrefs and Ap¬ 
 plication, prevailed with the Lords Ju- 
 Ifices to order Mr. Bellew into Cuftody, 
 till he had given his Honour not to drub 
 the Knight any more. 
 
 Ver. 316. That Cadogan and Temple 
 &c. m 
 
 Annontibi verba data, 
 
 Templi virtus cum praelata 
 Tuse ? Tuis Cadogmni , 
 
 Junior qui fit, ars & anni ? 
 
 Our Author means the late Lord Ga~ 
 
72 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 “ Quit the Army in Ire, where you have not your Right: 
 
 il As Achilles be flout, and refolve — not to fight.- 
 
 “ Thus fhe guileful befpoke me.— Again I believ'd, 
 <l Tho’ fooft by a Semblance of Kindnefs deceiv’d. 320 
 Then the Staff of my Age and my Office I fold ; 
 u And refign’d my laft Stake, but my Wife feiz’d the 
 Gold; 
 
 u Which one Winter confum’d, fcarce fupplying her 
 Wants, 
 
 ** To retain learned Pandars , and purchafe Gallants ; 
 
 <t c To adorn her for Birth-Nights, and furnifh for 
 Play ; 3 25 
 
 e( While I could not obtain her own Grenadier’s Pay. 
 
 “ Now 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 dogan and the prefent Lord Cobham , two 
 great and gallant Officers, who were in 
 every A&ion during the laft War in 
 Flanders , while our Hero was fighing at 
 the Feet of Myra> or fighting Battles in 
 his own Parlour. 
 
 Ver. 321. Now the Staff &c. 
 Splendidoque nunc Bacillo 
 Yiduus Prcetoriano illo. 
 
 The Silver Staff, which a Colonel of 
 the Guards carries when he is in waiting 
 at Court. 
 
 Ver. 326. While I could not obtain 
 
 &e. 
 
 Nee ftipendium mihi tantuP, 
 ipfe meruifti quantuP, 
 
 O Pileate , O nervofe 
 Miles, tu libidinofe 
 Amor & deliciae Anus : 
 
 An ex ilia abis fanus ? 
 
 Mr. Scheffer here alludes to our Hero¬ 
 ine’s well known Amour with a common 
 Soldier; as thus related by Tir-Oen. 
 Myra, as Jhe went into the Caffe one 
 Evening , fell in Love with a tall Grena¬ 
 dier, who flood Centinel at the Gate . The 
 force of this new Paffon was fo fuclden and 
 violent , that having drfmiffed her Attend¬ 
 ants , Jhe made no Scruple of fiepp'mg into 
 the Gentry Box for immediate Relief ; Ne 
 tentigine rumpatur. She afterwards al¬ 
 lowed the good Soldier a zveekly Penfon ; 
 till his Strength failing him , he became un¬ 
 fit for her Ladyjhip's Service ; Or accord¬ 
 ing 
 
Book II* The X O A S X. 
 
 “ Now forlorn and defpis’d, when I had not a Friend, 
 “ Who my Signet would truft, or a Moidore would lend; 
 “ Brother V ?/, (who has Skill to diverfify Shapes, 
 
 “ N°r fo wily is Proteus> or boafts fuch Efcapes, 330 
 
 “ Who 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 ing to Wetjleiriy Cum libidine Mirae fati- 
 gatus recefferit ftipendio militari contentus . 
 This is the fame Perfon, who in the third 
 Book is called Bombardomachides. The 
 Hiftory of this Adventure is carefully pre- 
 ferved in the Archives of the Dublin Bar¬ 
 racks : And the Centry Box, now called 
 the Temple of Myra 2 is (hewn to all 
 Strangers. 
 
 Ver. 327. Now forlorn and defpis’d 
 &c. 
 
 Pannos meos jam comedi : 
 
 Nec quis mi auxilio •, ne Di. 
 
 Ne vel aflem mutuum dedit, 
 
 Nec per Syngrapham quis credit. 
 Ah! infelix Scheffer, ijli 
 Tute male credidifti. 
 
 That is, How unhappy wajl thou , 0 
 Scheffer, to truji this Knight , when no 
 body elfe would truji him. I could not 
 well tranflate this Soliloquy without in¬ 
 terrupting Sir Mars in his Speech. But 
 I mu ft defire the Reader to remark it : 
 For, as Tir-Oen affuresus, it ferves to ex¬ 
 plain a great Part of the fecret Hiftory con¬ 
 tained in this Poem. 
 
 Ver. 329. Brother Vol, &c. 
 
 Vol Fraterrimus , qui catus 
 Cunftos fallere ; mutatus 
 Nunc in novas formas *, nunc 
 Hunc mentitus, atque hunc : 
 
 Hoc mentitus, atque hoc •, 
 
 Et iftunce, & iftoc. 
 
 Modo Vol ConftabulariuSi 
 CapitaneuSy Thefaurarius , 
 
 Omnia magna elo-quitur 
 Coenam regibus largitur. 
 
 Jam Cuniculus carbones 
 
 Vol effodit : jam baronis ** 
 
 Tument buccae Vitriarii . 
 
 Jam impurior os nefarii 
 Teftis pejerat impune : 
 
 Proteu, fic impune tune ? 
 
 An effiugias vinc’la Deus, 
 
 Quae callidior ifte reus ? 
 
 Proteus tire Son of Neptune Was the 
 Keeper or Conftable of the Sea. He could 
 transform himfelf into any Shape he plea- 
 fed ; by which means he efcaped his Pur- 
 fuers. See Ovid. Met. Lib , 8. Some 
 Mythologifts make Proteus a cunning Po¬ 
 litician, who deceived the People, and 
 enriched himfelf with the Plunder of hi s 
 Country. 
 
 Horace beftows this Name on a crafty 
 knavifh Debtor, who could not be bound 
 by any Obligations, or fecured by the 
 Hand of Juftice. 
 
 Scribe decern a Nerio : non ejl fatis: add* 
 Cicutee 
 
 Nodojitabulas centum ; mille adde catenas: 
 Effugiet tamen heecfeeleratus vincula Pro¬ 
 teus. 
 
 Cum rapies in jus mails ridentem alienis 9 
 Fiet aper , modo avis 2 modo faxum 2 & cum 
 volet , arbor. 
 
 Bind 
 
74 The TOAST. Book II. 
 
 Who a Conftable, Captain, or Treafurer fliines, 
 
 Or defcends to blow Glafs, or to delve in Coal Mines) 
 Thus Uncol’nell’d, inftru&s me, to adt a new Part, 
 To pretend, 1 had learnt Cynogetical Art. 
 
 And behold my Succefs 1 where fo grofs an Affront 335 
 I had whilom receiv’d, I commenc’d the ChiefHunt. 
 Well I wot, that above ye are molt of Opinion, 
 
 That we ought, who have over all Beafts the Dominion,. 
 Or to hunt the wild Boar, or to roufe the fierce Lion ; 
 But to leave fearful Bucks to the Handmaids of 
 
 Dian. 34° 
 
 Yet the Youth of Ierne the Ranger revere, 
 
 Who alone is intruded to kill Royal Deer ; 
 
 Ever praifing my Hounds: Nor a Pack of more lpeed 
 Or thy Gratius has fung, or Britannia can breed. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Bind him in Bonds: Or let the Knave 
 confefs 
 
 A Judgment: Yet the Debt Jhall ne’er be lefs. 
 Send him to Jayl: the next Day he efcapes , 
 And fneers his Creditors in various Shapes . 
 Now he’s a Boar , a Crab Tree } or a Clod, 
 Anon a Collier, Captain, or a God. 
 
 I forgot to mention before, that Vol 
 wasfome time Conftable of Dublin Cattle. 
 
 Ver. 344. Or thy Gratius has fung, 
 
 &c. 
 
 Tuus Gratius quos cantavit, 
 
 Seu Britannia generavit. 
 
 Gratius was an excellent Poet of the 
 Auguflan Age. and contemporary with 
 Virgi: and Ovid. He wrote a Poem upon 
 Hunting called Cynogeticon. Ovid, in the 
 laft hlegy of his fourth Book de Ponto , 
 where he reg! q ers the Wits of his Age, 
 ranks this Author with Virgil. 
 
 Tytirus anti qua s tsf erat quipafceret herbas ; 
 Aptaquq Vsnanti Gratius anna daret. 
 
 “ Dogs 
 
Book IL The TOAST. 75 
 
 « Dogs, you know, in my Glory were facred to Man ; 3 4.5 
 « And are now the good Creatures, I chufe for Converfe. 
 « Be recorded my Pets, all ye Nations Canine! 
 
 « Be your Manners, and Genius’ the Emblems of mine !’* 
 Here the Ranger concluded, and feem’d to wax wroth; 
 Mutter’d fomething, and trembling, turn’d white as 
 the Cloth. 35 ° 
 
 When Apollo rejoin’d.—(But the God firft knock’d under; 
 And the Table refounded, as if it were Thunder.) 
 
 “ Lo! 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 345. Dogs, you know , &c. 
 Nonne populos caninos, 
 
 Ufque coluere qui nos. 
 
 Cum ccelicolus fuiffem, 
 
 Noftri gregis turn fcripliffem ? 
 Exulantis idem Dei 
 Socii, Petti audiant mei *, 
 
 Queis ingenium, mens Martialis, 
 Feri mores, mihi quales. 
 
 It was ufual for the Pagan Gods to fe¬ 
 te# and confecrate to themfelves fome 
 particular Beafts and Birds (whofe Quali¬ 
 ties and Manners (as they conceived) 
 nearly refembled their own ; which were 
 therefore judged to be proper Symbols and 
 Hieroglyphicksofthe Divinity, by whofe 
 Favour they were thus diftinguilhed. 
 Dogs and Wolves were facred to Mars , 
 and are generally honoured by the old 
 Poets with the Title of Martii and Mar¬ 
 ti ales. We need only confult Homer to 
 be informed what Analogy and Similitude 
 of Manners there was between the War¬ 
 rior and his Beafts. 
 
 Petti, Pets , a Word ufed in this Coun¬ 
 try to fignify any Creatures that are our 
 Favourites} fucha » Monkeys, Dogs, Par¬ 
 
 rots. ’Tis probably derived from the 
 French Petit. 
 
 Yer. 349. Here the Ranger &c. 
 Jam finierat Venator: 
 
 Cum, ut folet, irafeatur. 
 Quidpiam mufiat} exfanguifque 
 Olli facies, fimilifque, 
 
 Menffe queis inftratse, mappis; 
 Aut {tie rjythmus defit ) pappis. 
 
 Pallidus ird ; ('fays Tir-Oen,) He was 
 pale with Anger, for Sir Mars always 
 fpoke in a Paflion, although the Subject 
 Matter of Converfation was jocofe and 
 trifling, and did not in the leall relate to 
 himfelf. 
 
 Pappis. The Down or Flower of a 
 Thiltle. 
 
 Pappofque volant es. Lucret. 
 
 Yer. 351. — But the Godjirjl knock d 
 tinder. 
 
 Subternaque, ter pulfante 
 Phcebo, quali fulminante, 
 
 Menfa fonuit quaffata: 
 
 Turpi Mira recantata. 
 
 When a controverted Point was yielded 
 L 2 U P 
 
 1 
 
7 6 Th'e TOAST. Book II. 
 
 “ Lo! I give up my Toast; and enough has been faid, 
 “ To convince me, your Conforms unworthy your Bed: 
 “ I confefs, I was dup’d by George G — n — lie's Re- 
 port; 35-5 
 
 “ Yet the Dame you defcribe, made a Figure at Court: 
 u In the Circle no Belle was lo Gorgeous, and Gay 
 
 “ And, by Wax Light, Ihe Teem’d neither Wrinkled, nor. 
 Grey. 
 
 “ Long ago we had heard your unmartial Exploit r 
 “ But the Caufe was unknown, why you’re thus un- 
 adroit. 3 6 o 
 
 c< I m amaz’d the good Maid, rather apt to cards, 
 
 “ Than infult an old Friend-or a Foe in Diftrefs, 
 
 “ Should a Stripling incite (horrid Deed!) to-cudg-el you : 
 “ If he is not a Greek, how could Ihe know Jack Eellew P 
 “ But hereafter be fafe; eat and drink, liveatEafe; 365 
 And in fpite of Minerva, ad: juft as you pleafe: 
 
 “ While 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS 
 
 up to the Knight, which was frequently Virginemque benevo km 
 done, m order to put a Stop to his Noife lu;™,- r • ri 1 
 
 and Clamour, he obliged his Opponent to Mir0r adv£rfan f ° km - 
 
 knock under the Table in Token of Sub- 
 
 million and Recantation. Hence it be- the good Maid he means Pallas 
 
 came a Proverb in the Provinces of Lein- whom he feems to juiify, infmuating the 
 fier and UIJier, — I knock under ; that is, & reat Improbability of her a flitting Mr. 
 
 I give up the Argument. Bellew, l’nce he was not a Greek anti 
 
 V Pr 7, ,, , , conlequently unknown to her. 
 
 Ver - 3 °i- i m amazd, the good Maid, 
 
 C ' Ver * 3 6 5 - But hereafter be fafe ! &c. 
 
 4 Poft- 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 77 
 
 “ While the Man-making Knave I reward for his Pains; 
 “ For I’ll fend him a Vulture, and lay him in Chains. 
 “ As for hunting the Buck, which you fo much delight in, 
 
 “ Tho’ I think it low Game-yet ’tis better than 
 
 fighting. 370 
 
 “ But to make more important your Office of Ranger; 
 “ And fo bold fince you ride, that you mayn’t ride m 
 Danger; 
 
 “ I’ll prevail on Lord John to falute you at Court, 
 
 “ And I’ll order my Sifter to favour your Sport.” 
 
 The Debate was thus ended : New Toasts went 
 
 about, 
 
 Till the Wine tailed flat, 
 
 375 
 
 and their Wit was all out. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Poflhaec gratior eat Dies: 
 
 Bene paftus, potus fies ; 
 
 Dam Minerva inco-lumis 
 Vel invita facies, fumes, 
 Quicquid vis tu, quicquid quis tu a 
 E t hie fis tu, quicquid vis tu. 
 
 f This is a double Entendre. And Phee- 
 bus fneers the Knight, while hefeems to 
 comfort him. To ad in Opposition to 
 Minerva was a Proverb among the. Ro - 
 mans , alluding to thofe who undertook a 
 Bufinefs, which they were neither form¬ 
 ed by Nature, or qualified by their Edu¬ 
 cation to perform. 
 
 Tu nihil invita dices faciefve Minerva . 
 
 Hor. 
 
 Ver. 368. For Pll fend him a Vul- 
 
 ture , &c. 
 
 Nebulonem hunc conjiciam 
 In vin-cula rurfus : bis-iam 
 Pedtus pafeat Pfometheum 
 Jovis ales. Sic in Deum > 
 
 Male audet ? Sfuis non Reum ! j 
 
 The Poets feign, that Jupiter refenting 
 the Aftions of Prometheus ordered Mercury 
 to chain him to Mount Caucafus , where 
 a Vulture or Eagle came every Day and 
 eat up his Liver, which grew again every 
 Night. He was at laft delivered by Her¬ 
 cules^ who fhot the Eagle with one of his 
 Arrows. 
 
 Quis non reum ? i. e quis non iftum 
 Prometheum reum coarguit? 
 
78 The TOAST. Book II 
 
 Mars began an old Tale of a little TP'tdch Queen; 
 
 Of a Battle and Siege, which he never had feen : 
 
 Like a T*ully he’d fpeech it!— like Phoebus he’d ling f— 
 And the World fhall be mended ■ when he is a 
 
 King!- 380 
 
 Voly who likewise was tipfy, talk’d out of his Trade • 
 Of the Vows, and the Cures, and the Horns he had made: 
 
 He’d 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 377. Mars began an old &c. 
 Nunc anilem Mars fabellam 
 Garrit * Regis Ap f^mellam 
 Laudat; clam at; mo do mingit *, 
 Obfidiones, bella fingit ; 
 
 Marcum fuperat dicendo ; 
 
 Phcebum fuperat canendo ; 
 
 Orbem moribus ornaret, 
 
 Regnum fiquis fibi daret. 
 
 Sir Mars was a great Braggadocio, 
 even when fober ; as remarked above,. 
 Ver. 183. But when a little mellow, 
 which happened generally once a Day, 
 he was outragious in hi$ Converfation ; 
 and would exalt himfelf far above all other 
 Gods or Men. At fucli times, he was 
 fully perfuaded, that he excelled, not on¬ 
 ly in Arms, but in all Arts and Sciences. 
 Tir~ Oen fays, that he had perufed a large 
 Folio written by our Hero, entituled, 
 The Commentaries of Sir Mars, or the 
 Hi/lory of his own Times , which afforded 
 him no fmall Diverfion. And fince I be¬ 
 gan this Tranflation, I have feen the Firft 
 Book of a Poem compofed by our Knight 
 in praife of himfelf, which he calls the 
 Marti ad. I remember the firft fix Verfes, 
 as follow:. 
 
 I will praife the great God Mars, for of all 
 Gods he’s mofi worthy to be prais’d. 
 And Pllfing Deeds fo mighty , as Jhall caufe 
 ev’ry Reader tofiand amaz’d 
 Pll relate , how he was much Jlouter than 
 Horfa, who firjl landed in Kent; 
 
 And how he made better Speeches than any 
 Member of Parliament . 
 
 How that he cou’dhave a Countefs or twain 
 when his Honour inclin’d to kifs : 
 
 And that he cou’d write better Verfes than 
 Homer: for he himfelf zurote This . 
 
 It plainly appears from this Exordium 
 of the Martiady that our Hero defpifed 
 Apollo’s Advice, and that he thought no 
 Perfon fo capable of writing hisown Pane- 
 gyrick as himfelf. 
 
 Ver. 381 • Vol, who likewife was 
 tipfy , &c. 
 
 Incudemque jam Volcanus 
 Ultra fapit, Bacchi Anus: 
 
 Quae effutit, omnia, vovit; 
 Moechus, medicus quae novit : 
 Mox martello cryftallina 
 Faciet, pocula divina! 
 
 Dum foecundant (olim feges 
 Eritj alinarum greges 
 
 Newton 
 
Book II. The TOAST. 79 
 
 He’d invent a new Cryftal! and hammer his Glades! 
 And his Mountains improve by a Stock of She Affes !— 
 
 fudden Sur- 
 
 3 8 5 
 
 Phoebus here, 
 
 i( Oh! my Friends, fee the Phofphor juft ready to rife: 
 
 “ Tho’ 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Newton montem, prata P -/. wrought by the Incantations of Myra, 
 
 who imagined the Volcanos oiVol to re¬ 
 ferable Purgatory ; the T hough ts of which 
 
 Iloccirt illi nomen ? Bat . 
 
 Whiled/was fober, he was fecret and always made the Sorcerefs tremble. But 
 filent. But when tipfy, he would blab this I take to be a Monkilh table. The 
 out every thing he knew. He then made moft probable Account is the following. 
 Vows of Vengeance ; prefcribed Cures for which I have lately received from my 
 the Gout; bragg’d of his Intrigues with worthy Friend the learned Dr. Lewis An~ 
 Women of Quality • and projected a thou- tbony Oneil ; — Civibus quibufdam fa ft a 
 fand extraordinary Whims. In one of Dublinenfis Volcani propius explorantibus 
 thefe Fits he publifhed that pompous Ad- facile innotuit Vtteratorem ifhim omnia mo - 
 vertifement recited by Tir-Oen ; in which liri & magna loqui ad captandum Populum . 
 our Bottle-maker undertakes to produce a J §>'uapropter extinftis fubito ignihus, occlu- 
 Sort of Glafs, that {hould be equal to ffque fornacibus Cyclopas omnes vitriarios 
 Cryftal; and declares, that he had reco- expellerejlatuerunt. Some of our Citizens, 
 vered the Art of making it malleable, who more nearly infpefted Vol 's Conduft, 
 Vitrea Vafa fafturus tenacitatis tanta, ut difcovered all his Tricks ; and plainly per- 
 fi in Pavimentum maximo impetu projician - ceived, that he had no other Intention than 
 tur, collifa forent, at non frafta , fays to amufe and deceive the People . Where - 
 Tir-Oen . That he would make Glafs Vef fore , they immediately rrf lved to Jhut up 
 fels of fuch Solidity, that although they the Glafs-Houfe, and drive away all the 
 jhould be thrown upon a Stone Pavement Bottle-Makers. 
 
 with the greatejl Force, they would be only Afmarum Greges. Vd had a Mountain 
 bruifed, but not broken. This extrava- Farm called Newtown P. which he ftock- 
 eant Boaft railed the Expectation of all ed with She Affes ; and was the firlt who 
 People; and we hoped to fee Rivers of taught that Method of improving Lands 
 Gold flow into our Country, in confe- in Ireland . 
 ouenee of fuch an ufeful Invention : When 
 
 4 
 
80 The T O A S T. Book II. 
 
 “ Tho’ I’m tipling with you To remote in the Weft, 
 
 “ I muft fet out exactly at Six from the Eaft: 
 
 <c And befldes-1 have promis’d to call by the Way, 
 
 “ With the Mules to chat, ere I open the Day. 390 
 So the God took his Leave, flying ftrait to Parnaffus' y 
 To the Lodge drove Sir Mars , and Vol trudg’d to his 
 Glafs-Houfe. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Prodromus quid me abfente ? 
 
 Ego quid in occidente, V 
 
 Cum ad fextam ab oriente ? J 
 
 Phofphorus is the Morning Star, which 
 rifes juft before the Sun. Phofphore redde 
 die?n. Martial. 
 
 Tangomenas facere, is to make a Debauch, 
 or to drink till Day Light. Pet. Arb. 
 
 Ver. 391. So the God took his Leave, 
 &c. 
 
 Deus vale dicens defiit ; 
 
 Fugit, ac Parnaffum petiit: 
 iEdes fuas Mars Equefter, 
 Fornacemque Vol Pedefter. 
 
 /Edes fuas . —To his Lodge in the 
 Phoenix Park near Dublin, ., where Sir 
 Mars then lived. 
 
 Vol Pe defer. - Vol after his Bank¬ 
 
 ruptcy affedted great Humility, and all out¬ 
 
 ward Marks of Poverty : He appeared 
 meanly clad; he pretended to feed on 
 Roots and other Vegetables; and generally 
 walked the Streets, even in the midft of 
 Winter. Thus Tir-Oen , Claudicat licet 
 V ?/, pedibus tamert fe portat fuis , pluvia - 
 rumincurfus & brumalis frigor is patiens.— 
 And then he quotes the following Lines 
 out of that famous Ode faid to be writ¬ 
 ten by Trulla, the Mud-Nymph, in 
 Praifeof Vol, with which my Country¬ 
 man concludes the fecond Chapter of his 
 Commentary. 
 
 Sexagefimum agens , atque opulentior 
 Craffo, nunc Vitreus fe patitur vafer 
 Uri, nunc Luteus fub Jove frigido 
 Eblanoe peragrat loca 8 
 
 Crafty Vol, tho y waxen old , 
 
 And as rich as Conful Craflus, 
 
 Foots it now in Wet and cold , 
 
 Now is frying in a Glafs-Houfe . 
 
THE 
 
 TOAST. 
 
 BOOK THE THIRD. 
 
 Indicio Solis — $uh Solem fallere pojjit ? Ovid. 
 
 rwij fierce yvvcux.cs as Ai itjp dvfycyvviss ipujcts dtrxnpmvrd,. Lucian. 
 
 Apollo fubveni mihi atque adjuva ; 
 
 Configefagittis Fures Thefaurarios. Plaut. Aulular. 
 
 
 v 
 
THE 
 
 5 ' 
 
 BOOK THE THIRD. 
 
 M IGHTY Goddefs, who whilom thro’ Hudibras 
 fpoke, 
 
 You, who taught Frier Ihon , and Panqa to joke; 
 
 NOTES and 
 
 Ver. x. Mighty Goddefs , &c. 
 
 Quae formafti Hudibras, 
 
 Magna Dea •, tu, quae das 
 Rifus, Atticofque fales, 
 
 Habet Ihon, Pan?a quales, 
 
 (Armiger Armigerorum , 
 Monacbufque Monachorum ) 
 
 Eja age, verfus unde- 
 libet joculares funde. 
 
 Nec in te fit ulla mora; 
 
 Nec exorfa longiora •, 
 
 Nec nos, Dea per ambages, 
 
 Ut ut opus majus magis, 
 
 Fieto carmine teneto: 
 
 Veftro vati O fa veto! 
 
 Monti-colae mi favete 
 Mufe omnes! exhibete 
 Phcebi turpem —tiffcrn anum, 
 
 Et Vol Ihfaurarium planum. 
 
 The chief Aclion of the Poem begins 
 
 To 
 
 >*rl ft 
 
 OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 with this third Book, the firft and fecond 
 being little more than an Introduction. 
 
 Phcebi turpem —anum. 
 
 The Commentators are at a lofs how 
 to explain this Verfe. 1 hey all imagine 
 that tijfam is an Error of the Prefs. TzV- 
 Oen therefore reads it mijfam , and under- 
 flands it, as it is ufed by Suetonius in this 
 Phrafe, mijfam facets uxorem 5 that is, the 
 old Toaft, whom Phoebus repudiated or 
 recanted. Mr. Cuper thinks it ought to 
 be JciJfam anum , the old Woman, who is 
 rent and torn, or as we commonly fay, 
 pulled to Pieces “"by Scheffer* s Satire. Or 
 by JciJfam anu?n y fays the fame Commen¬ 
 tator, may be underftood the Wrinkles 
 and Furrows in old Myra* s Face, in the 
 fame Senfe as we ufe fcindere humum . 
 Mr. JVetjlcin , who does not approve 
 thefe Interpretations, will have it to be 
 fijjjam anum \ and is of Opinion, that it 
 
 M 2 was 
 
84 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 To my Cottage repair, and my Carol renew : 
 
 Let the Prelude be fhort, and the Story be true: 
 
 Let me borrow your Spirit to dight the old Toast, 5 
 And advance a foul Kern to a Treafurer’s Port. 
 
 Half remains yet unfung, and I grieve ’twas delay’d: 
 ’Tis a Tribute I owe, and the Debt muft be paid. 
 
 O! do thou, mofl redoubtable Piercy , attend, 
 Whilft a Column I raife to thy Miftrefs and Friend. 10 
 
 Nor 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 they had fufficiently obferved the Manner t?. C f ^ ^ C ' c 
 
 in which- tijfam is written, with a tl \ un S e ’ ^ crox Perfeu, 
 
 Dafh before it, they had perceived, that Haud ut olim ?egre fer, feu 
 
 if" 10 nnl \r kolf WT _ J T y* 1 .1 ninic film 
 
8 5 
 
 Book III. Tie TOAST. 
 
 Nor impatient, as whilom, my Merit deny : 
 
 Such a Builder as thou ; fuch a Poet am I. 
 
 Tho’ a Goth, and unbred, and unfafhion’d by Fol ; 
 In our Manners I trow, the Refemblance is fmall. 
 
 To the Great I ne’er cring’d ; nor am dubb’d by his 
 Grace; 
 
 Nor betray’d my old Friend to fucceed to his Place; 
 Nor the Stranger’s Pofleffions unjuftly 1 fought; 
 
 Nor my Verfe is the Work of another Man’s Thought* 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 He aflerted, that there could not pollibly 
 be any Wit in a Poem, where the Verfes 
 were all too long or too fhort. 
 
 HoL.i. e. O Holophanta , a Word ufed 
 by Plautus to fignify a Knight of the Poft. 
 
 Yer. 16. Nor betray'd my old Friend 
 
 &c. 
 
 Me ingratum dixit quis ? quis 
 Me prasdonem ? ex meis quis 
 Arte mea proditur, cum 
 ProdidilTes bonum Burkum ? 
 
 The bafe Manner in which Sir Piercy 
 ufed hisF riend and PredecefTor Mr. Bourke , 
 is a Story fo well known in Dublin , that 
 I need not enlarge on it in this Place. I 
 fhall only take leave to fay, that although 
 our Knight were a Perfon of Intereft in 
 the Vice-roy's Court, yet he was never 
 held in any great Reputation among Men 
 of Honour. But after he had perjured 
 himfelf in the Face of the whole Town 
 (as is related in the following Note) he 
 was defpifed and deteiled by his own 
 Friends and Relations. 
 
 Ver. 17 . Nor the Stranger's PoJJeJfions 
 &c. 
 
 An quis vates, O Per feu , 
 
 Fuit, fecit, nunc quod tu ? 
 
 Eccas falfas lites creas ! 
 
 Ut cum aedes Scheffereas 
 Violafies, expugnafies, 
 
 Litigafles, pejerdjfes .. 
 
 Our Author here alludes to Sir Piercf s 
 famous Expedition, when at the Head of 
 a Troop of Banditti, armed with Car¬ 
 bines, Piftols, Hatchets, &c. he forced 
 the Pofleffion of Mr. Scheffer's Houfe: 
 And when afterwards this Violence was 
 complained of to the Court of Chancery, 
 our Knight made an Affidavit, that he 
 ufed no Force, but on the contrary, that 
 quiet Pofleflion was delivered to him by 
 Mr. Scheffer's Servants. And to corro¬ 
 borate this Oath, and obviate all Difficul¬ 
 ties, he fwore further, that Mr. Scheffer 
 himfelf had affured him, that he did not 
 defire the Poffeffion of his own Houfe . 
 
 On occasion of this heroic Exploit, a 
 young Lad of the College acldreiled a con¬ 
 gratulatory Ode, in Imitation of Horace 
 Book I. Ode 6. To the Chevalier Piercy* 
 which the Reader will find in the Ap¬ 
 pendix, 
 
86 The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 And do thou, O Lord Pam, thy Anathemas fpare, 
 And to fecond Sir Piercy s rude Infults forbear: 20 
 
 Nor be mov’d, if I hand at thy Elbow next Winter; 
 Nor endeavour to bribe, or to frighten my Printer: 
 
 Nor pronounce me prophane, and my Poem a Libel; 
 Since Hermaphrodites no where are found in the Bible. 
 
 For, unfeemly if thus on a Tribad you fawn, 25 
 And unhallow the fair Hierarchical Lawn ; 
 
 Or 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 19. And do thou, O Lord Pam, 
 &c. 
 
 Et quid cenfeas, velim, nolim, 
 Pamme , papa, paftor olim, 
 Reverende modo quodarn, 
 Reverende nunc admodum, 
 Parciiis die : ten’ adverlari ? 
 
 Tene Perfeum imitari ? 
 
 The Perfon here intended was a famous 
 B. known through the whole Kingdom 
 by the Name of Lord Pant. He was a 
 great Enemy to our Author, and indeed 
 to all Men of Wit and Learning, being 
 himfelf the moft ignorant as well as the 
 moll vitious P. of all who had ever been 
 honoured with that Title from the Days 
 of the Apoftles to thisprefent Year of the 
 Chriftian ALra. He teas promoted, fays 
 Tir-Oen, by the Iniquity of the Times, 
 Non tarn providentid d'mind, qudm tempo- 
 rum iniquitate * * * * E—fcopus. 
 
 Ver. 21. Nor he mov'd See. 
 
 Nec te rnoveas, quod impurus 
 Scheffer jamjam rediturus ? 
 
 Nec tu noftro die, ne da fo- 
 rashcec feripta Typo- grapho. 
 
 When the fecond Edition of Mr. Schef¬ 
 fer's Poem was advertifed, Lord Pam fent 
 for feveral Publifliers and Printers, and 
 endeavoured to prevail on them by Bribes 
 or Threats, not to publifh or fell it, be- 
 ftowing on our Author at the fame Time, 
 all thofe fcurrilous Appellations, with 
 which hislowEducation had fumilhed him. 
 
 Yer. 25. For, unfeemly if thus See. 
 Nam, fi 1'agae fautor tu fis. 
 
 Comes ire nec recufes 
 Al nequiflinife Tribadi ; 
 
 (Tibi talia curanda Di ?) 
 
 Si dum linteatus, lacer •, 
 
 Si lacertus facer, facer 
 Si ridendoseftu effer- 
 vefeis, latras, rodis Scheffer. 
 [Rodis — latras -— an latrare 
 E—fcopus? Patriflare.] 
 
 Noftri fi nunc vim car-minis 
 Verbis rufticis, caninis, 
 Convitiifque redar-guis ; 
 
 Tuo capiti htec fuis. 
 
 Quid quod Arch’ E—fcopatum 
 Tu obtineas, vel Primatum ? 
 
 Me canente Hiftrioniam 
 Facies, digne facies, quoniam 
 
 Con- 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 87 
 
 Or defame the good Bard, to exalt the black Frow, 
 
 In the Language thou learn ft from thy Father at Plow; 
 I’ll record thee in Farce: Tho’ again thou’rt * tranflated, 
 
 And again, and fo oft, till your Pamjhip\ Primated; 30 
 I’ll tranflate thee once more, left thy Works Ihould 
 efcape us, 
 
 And create thee High-prieft of our Irijh Priapus. 
 HERE, by changing the Scene, now my Fancy grows 
 ftrong, 
 
 O aftift me, my Mufe, to embellilh my Song ! 
 
 As a Sibyl pronounce, but without Agitation 
 Of your Body or Mind, Scheffer’s Vaticination. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 35 
 
 For, 
 
 * Confecrafti afininum 
 Mir* dirae Priapinum. 
 
 Many Perfons have expreflfed their Sur¬ 
 prize, that a B. Ihould fo warmly intereft 
 himfelf in the Caufe of two fuch infamous 
 Creatures, as Myra and her Imp. ^uidni 
 aute?n pergat , quo ccepit (fays Tir-Oen) 
 nempe feruire Veneficee, cujus incantamen - 
 tis dignitatem adeptus eft ? IVhy Jhould 
 not be go on, as he bad begun , to ferve the 
 Sorcerefs , by whofe Incantations he obtained 
 his Preferment ? The fame Commenta¬ 
 tor tells us, that Myra had gained to her 
 Party fome others of the Clergy, by flat¬ 
 tering their Ambition, and pretending by 
 the Power, which was given her, that flie 
 was at all times able to reward her Fa¬ 
 vourite with a Mitre. Did not thefe 
 Men believe What a great and witty Au¬ 
 thor faid on another occafion, That there 
 is fome Analogy between cloven Tongues, 
 and cloven Feet ? 
 
 J ' l 1 
 
 Hijlrioniam facies. This alludes to a 
 Farce, which Mr. Scheffer had then be¬ 
 gun, and which he has fince finifhed. It 
 is written in Latin. Lord Pam is a prin¬ 
 cipal Perfon of the Drama. See Part of 
 the firft A6I in the Notes on the Epiftlc 
 to Cadenus . 
 
 * Lord Pam hath been twice tranflat¬ 
 ed fince the firft Edition of this Poem. 
 
 Ver. {33. Here , by changings &c. 
 Mula, tanquam ipfa ilia 
 Sis Cumaea tu Sibylla, 
 
 Rhythmos ede : digrediare'. 1 
 Fas fit mi vaticinari: > 
 
 Opus queam qui ornare. J 
 
 Facias, fingas verfus, modos, 
 Epos magnum, feu epodos j 
 Carmen laudis habeat fatis, * 
 
 Si, cui fcripfit, vere ’ft vat;es; 
 
88 The TOAST. Book IIL 
 
 For, of Epode or Epic higher rais d Is the Merit, 
 
 In the Bard if there breathe a prophetical Spirit. 
 
 Nor obfcure be my Numbers : no Cenfure I fear : 
 
 ’Tis Apollo , who whhpers thefe Truths in my Ear. 40 
 
 When the P-y fhall lofe all its Splendor and Power, 
 
 And a brutal Beotian command in the lower ; 
 
 When the Lords, of the Mountains their Forces affemble,. 
 And Britannia, as flaook by an Earthquake, {hall tremble; 
 When the Drums ecclehaftic, unheard in this Age, 45 
 Beat to Arms in all Pulpits, and kindle our Rage ; 
 
 While 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 Id fi gravius, doftius, preflius, 
 
 Is futuri fi non nefcius. 
 
 The old Poets valued themfelves much 
 On the Spirit of Prophecy, with which 
 they pretended to be infpired : 
 
 Ejt Deus in nobis \ fmt et commertia cceli. 
 Ovid. 
 
 Hence they affirmed a Name (Vcites) which 
 fignifies both a Poet and a Prophet. 
 
 Ver. 1 42. And a brutal Beotian &t. 
 Ex Bceotid cuftos is ? At 
 Sane pol Hibtrm ciffat. 
 
 Ver. 43. When the Lords &c. 
 Tempus erit, cum monticolre 
 (Hos honore tu om-ni cole) 
 Cogant fuos, gaudeant caftrisy 
 Ducibufque novis aftris. 
 
 Horum motus quantus! quotus 
 Enim quifque horum motus 
 Non formidet, hercle quales 
 Terrae motus exitiales ? 
 
 When I'tranflated this Poem, which I 
 ftnilhed and publifhcd in the year 1736, 
 
 I rejected this Part of it called the Pro¬ 
 phecy, which I confidered as an imper¬ 
 tinent Rhapfody, and foreign to my Au¬ 
 thor’s Subjedt. But, what I then defpifed 
 I now admire, and begin to think, Mr. 
 Scheffer was really infpired ; fince I have 
 lived to fee (in April 1746, when I am 
 writing this Note) every Part of this 
 wonderful Prediction fulfilled. I have 
 therefore, after fo many Years, made it 
 Englijh, and, in this fecond Edition, P 
 have inferted the Text’ and my Verfior* 
 in its. proper Place. 
 
 Ver. t 4g- When the- Brums &c. 
 Hos, et illos- facerdates, 
 
 Parvos, magnos tibi notes. 
 Cavillantur, criminantur,. 
 
 Scite pol fycophantantur. 
 
 Preces, iras, diras fundunt, 
 Tympanaque ftia tundunt. 
 Fundunt,tundunt;quare? quo? he- 
 faria dudti ambitione. 
 
 In one of our Author’s MSS. the two 
 laft Verfes run thusy 
 
 Fundunt, tundunt qtiur, vrrbone?- 
 
 Mala 
 
Book III. The TOAST. *89 
 
 While the Warrior A-p his Province alarms, 
 
 And inftru&s Saints and Sinners to handle their Arms, 
 And impels Knights and Squires, whether fobcr or Sots, 
 
 To renounce the Fox-chace, and to hunt down the Scots ; 
 
 When unmilitant Peers by a warlike Cockade, 51 
 
 Or, allur’d by the Gain, fudden Heroes are made; 
 
 When 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 Mala du&i ambitione. 
 
 But the various Readings do not alter the 
 
 Tu es, Arch;, o quam bellus 
 Concionator, Colondlus! 
 
 Senfe. I Ihall here obferve, that the . Thefe Lines are a juft Panegyric on 
 Zeal, which the Clergy have manifefted the prefent A—p of T. who firft raifed 
 at this Time, and at all Times, in . De- that Spirit againft Popery, which hath 
 fence of the Church of England , is very fmce fpread itfelf over all England. By 
 commendable. But, when I meet with his Influence the famous Troop of Torkc- 
 any of their Sermons (and I believe there fare Fox-hunters was formed ; who were 
 have been lately more than an hundred invincible Champions all, both Knights 
 published, all in the fame Strain) filled and Efquires; three Efquires attending 
 with Calumnies Or low fcurrilous Invec- on every Knight, as well armed and 
 tives, or, what is more naufcous, fluffed mounted, as their Matters. For a full 
 with the moft fulfome Praife and grofleft Account of their magnanimous Refolu- 
 Flatteries; I cannot perfuade myfelf, that tions, their perilous Expeditions, Battles, 
 the Authors of fuch Difcourfes are the Sieges, Purfuits and Retreats, and all their 
 MinifterS of God : I am fure their Lan- notable Feats in Chivalry, by which they 
 gu'age is not the Language of the Gofpd acquired the Appellation of the Briltifc 
 
 o fChri/f. ’ 
 
 Worthies, I muft refer the Reader to our 
 Englijh Annals. 
 
 Ver. t 47. White the Warrior Sic. 
 
 Tu es. Arc hi, 6 quam belluS .Ver. $.$h When unrmlilani Peers &c. 
 
*9° The TOAST. Book III- 
 
 When a Group of young Templars {hall adl a grave 
 
 Farce, 
 
 And bedight Father Coke with the Armour of Mars ; 
 And the ftout Leather sellers no Perils £hall fhun, J 5 5, 
 Since Bello?ra has taught ’em to (hoot in a Gun; 
 
 When 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 Seu vir fiet, feu lOngurio.: ture of three Colours, which, hath over- 
 
 Sic, fi Marti non, Mercurio. powered the white. And this Charm 
 
 was pra&ifed. by the Ancients ; as we 
 I. e. Mercurio aptus. Our Author may learn from the Pharmaceutria of 
 here foretels the Creation of a Number of Virgil , 
 
 Heroes at once in a new and extraordi- Nttte tribus nodis terms , Amarylli,c*W 
 nary Manner ; not, as the Fox-hunters, 
 
 by an A-p’s Blefling, but by a Charm 
 
 confifting in a Knot of black Ribands, 
 neatly fixed to the Button-hole of the 
 Hat. It hath been found by frequent 
 Experience, that this Charm, in a Quar¬ 
 ter of an Hour, hath infpired as much 
 Courage and military Skill, as could have 
 
 Ver. J 53. When a Group &c. 
 
 r 
 
 been acquired in twenty Campaigns. Omnibus fit deridiculo. j 
 
 However, it is not at prefent in fuch high 
 
 Reputation, as not being fo efficacious, This Part of our Author’s Predio* 
 as it was formerly, by reafon of a Coun- don hath been literally fulfilled. In the 
 ter-charm, lately invented by a Scotch Months of January and February in 1745^ 
 Wizard, of the fame Matter, Shape and I f aw a valiant Set of Lawyers play the 
 Size, but of a different Colour. For Soldiers, every Morning, in the Middler 
 the Ribands, which compofe the Counter- Temple Hall. They were at laft fo per- 
 charm, are white : a Colour, which is f e & in dieir Parts, that they afted by 
 more efteemed, and will generally pre- Beat of Drum, without the Affiftance of 
 vail over black. White is the Colour any other Prompter, 
 of Mirth, the other of Mourning. White 
 
 is an Emblem of Virtue and Innocence ; Ver. J 55. And the ftout Leather- 
 
 the other of Malice and Wickednefs ; fellers &c . 
 
 and we cannot defcribe a bad Man in Hos pellarios timidiores 
 
 ftronger Terms, than by faying, he has 
 a black Heart, or a black Soul. Hie 
 nigev eft ; hunc tu , Romane, caveto . Yet, 
 after all, I have been allured by an old 
 
 Leporeque fugaciores 
 Spe&ans, dixi, En qui jadtant,- 
 Qui virilia arma tradlant! 
 
 dlLCI dll, X ildVC UCCI1 (U1U1CU Uy dll UJU _ 
 
 Officer, that a Charm hath fometimes Tu, Mors^ cave, tormen-ta cut des: 
 been ufed, which was an artificial Mix- Si quis tamen Bombomachides 
 
 Forfan 
 
Book III. The T O A S T. * 9 z 
 
 When the City is govern’d by Time-ferving H- -, 
 
 And the Nation is farm’d by a G -;z and G -; 
 
 When 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Forfanfiat, ac Eellom 
 Viro adfit, ei dona. 
 
 I. e. Bombardam Jive tormentum dona , 
 furnifh him with a Gun. The Volun¬ 
 teers, our Author here fpeaks of, were 
 called Milites pellarii , Leatber-fellers ; 
 becaufe their chief Place of Parade was in 
 Leather-fellers Hall. They were of all 
 Orders and Ranks of Citizens ; and, al¬ 
 though formerly they could not bear the 
 Sight of a Gun, they were now as adroit, 
 and as well trained in the Exercife of 
 the Firelock, as the Lawyers ; over 
 whom they had this Advantage, that they 
 always appeared in an uniform, military 
 Habit, and in the molt confpicuous Places, 
 inviting their Fellow-Citizens to fee their 
 Performance. Whereas the Lawyers, 
 who were always drefled in their ordi¬ 
 nary Habits, like new-raifed Recruits* 
 locked themfelves in, while they were 
 performing, as if they had been afhamed 
 of their new Profeflion. 
 
 Ver. % 57. When the City &c-. 
 
 Hie, qui magnas, urbi praseft, 
 Sibi hercle nunquam deefl, 
 
 Numularius ille //--. 
 
 Numularius iHe.G- 
 
 Mihi, tibi, cuique.quid lov 
 
 Aurum aufert ? Auri G - n 
 
 PaCto quantum vult nefario 1 
 Doli architeftus pari, 6 > 
 
 Di, decuffit ex serario. J 
 
 Vafer doli archite&us 
 O fi effet diereCtus ! 
 
 The Reader may learn from a famous 
 Debate in the H* of C. which happened 
 
 the Beginning of March 1745-6, that 
 this Part of Scheffer' s Prediction hath a U 
 fo been fulfilled. Or, for a more parti¬ 
 cular Information, let him confult the* 
 Marble Statue, erefted in Honour of Sir 
 yohn Barnard. 
 
 In the laft Lines our Author wiflies a - 
 Punifhment to the Money-monger, which» 
 I think he does not deferve half fo much,, 
 as thofe who employed him. 
 
 Ver. t 59. When the Patriots an 
 Placemen &c. 
 
 Magnus ille quum fenator,, 
 
 Clarus ille quurn orator 
 Nauci, nihili pendantur. 
 
 Quod et emant et emantur, 
 
 Quod corrumpant, corrumpan- 
 tur. 
 
 At, at, nos ingenuatos 
 Videas nunc collutulatos. 
 
 Si queramur; inforamur, 
 Elinguamur, exculcamur. 
 Adverfamur ? fufpendamur. 
 
 Is there* an honeft Man in England ,. 
 who is not moft heartily grieved, when 
 he confiders, that by a Defection of fuch 
 a Number of Patriots, that honourable 
 Appellation is now become a Word of 
 Reproach and Contempt ? In Truth thefe 
 Gentlemen have'done more Hurt to the 
 Caufe of Liberty, than Sir R. W—pole's 
 long and corrupt Adminiftration : Since 
 they have convinced us, that (in- their 
 Opinion) Virtue is only a Name, and, by 
 the Love of their Country, they never 
 meant any thing but the Love of-Mo¬ 
 ney. . 
 
 Ver* * 
 
 \ 
 
*9 2 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 When the Patriots are Placemen, the People are Slaves; 
 
 When the P — s are Kings, and the-s are Knaves; $ 60 
 
 When a Youth (this I add, left ye fancy, I rage, 
 
 As the Prophets, who always dire Evils prefage) 
 Crown’d with Laurel appears, who, the Deftinies tell us, 
 If his Thread they ftiall lengthen, will be a Marcellusy 
 Then expedt, in the Senate, where L^lius ftiall ftt, 165- 
 For his Virtues rever’d, and renown’d for his Wit, 
 
 On 
 
 NOTES and OBSE R VAT IONS. 
 
 Ver. t 60. When the P- sarc King-, 
 
 Quum poteftas penes miros 
 Siet omnis Duumviros, 
 
 Potentifiimos P - s\ 
 
 r Regi qui injiciunt camos. 
 
 I am Something puzzled how to ex¬ 
 plain thefe Verfes. Have we ever feen a 
 Duumvirate in England? 
 
 Ver. t 60. - and the ——s are 
 
 r Knaves . 
 
 En, qui nobis olim cultys. 
 
 Fit repente turpis, ftultus ! 
 Dumque vocem,vultum mutat, 1 
 , Suos prodit, grave nutat, > 
 IIoAiifuWOsi fe putat. J 
 
 Quin bovinum fratrem, ellum, 1 
 Cui deeft cerebellum, > 
 
 Die—Poldicutrurnque^cljelm* J 
 
 k §tljeftn h a Dutch Word, a Term of 
 the greateft Reproach and Ignominy. It 
 has always been applied to thofe, who 
 have loft their Honour by betraying their 
 Truft, their Friends, or their Country i 
 or to fuch as have deferred their Colours* 
 .and have been guilty of notorious Cow¬ 
 ardice in the Day of Battle. Thus Co¬ 
 
 lonel Apptus , and the other Dutch Oflh 
 cers, who ran away at the Battle of Foun* 
 tenoy , Were declared ; and this 
 
 was Part of the Sentence of the Court- 
 Martial. Our Author does not here give 
 us the leaft Hint, againft whom this Part 
 of his fatirical Predi£Hon is pointed. He 
 only infinuates, by the bovinum fratrem , 
 that they were two Brothers, who looked 
 like a Pair of huge Oxen. But their Bo* 
 vinities may be well fatisfied, while they 
 are not diftinguifhed by any other Mark. 
 
 Ver. j 61. When a Youth &V. 
 
 E j\, Mareelius ! annos oh 
 li candidius fatum fi det. 
 
 Quo nil majus, melius Sol 
 Oriens occidenfve videt : 
 
 En, Mavortis gladio cindtus, 
 Lauro triumphali vinftus ! 
 
 Si qua fata afpera rumpas , 
 
 Tu Marcellus eris : Virgil. L; 6. 
 
 Ver. t 65. Where L^lius Jhallfit . 
 Ubi Ltelius meus fedit, 
 
 Ubi fepius verba dedit 
 Suis, nobis, rex Atrides \ 
 
 Aptum doftis fcamnum vides. 
 
 LiELIUS 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 
 
 On the Bench, for rare Merit defign’d, fhall be feen 
 Other Pams, puff’d in Lawn, but ignoble their Mien ; 
 
 Who difdaining, like H -/, old Apoftolic Marks, 
 
 Are become faered BiLhop*, yet never were Clerks. | 70 
 How the Goddefs, who rules the vaft Dunciad\ will fmile, 
 When fhe robes with bright Efmin her M —*—and 
 
 When, around the old K— while her Bat-wings are 
 fpread, 
 
 She adorns with a Mitre a Bufto of Lead ! 
 
 J ud ge, 
 
 NOTES and O B S E R VAT IONS 
 
 Ljelius is the Name, by which our 
 Author, in all his Latin Works, has de~ 
 figned the prefent Earl of Orrery. See 
 his Lordfhip’s Chara&er in the Scamnum , 
 and in the firft and fecond Book of the 
 Templum Libertatis . But more particu¬ 
 larly in a Prefentation Speech, delivered 
 in the Convocation Houfe in Oxford , 
 when this learned Nobleman was admit¬ 
 ted to the Degree of Do&or of Laws. 
 
 Ver. t 6 &'• Other Pa m's' fcfir. 
 
 Eccos alios Pamnos putres ! 
 
 Ex his, Mufa, jube tu tres 
 Prodeant, tu meant tanquam li¬ 
 tres. 
 
 Perge, Mufa, porro die. 
 
 Hie, et hie, et: alter hie 
 Non (hoc fubolfacio),quo mo- 
 do jam caudex fit, non homo ; 
 Sed cur (voce omnium utorj. 
 
 Sit epifeopus, non futor. 
 
 Quern fi forfan quis cathoheum, 
 Nemo fentiet apoftolicum. 
 
 I have been aflifted in my Verfiort of 
 thefe Lines, as Well as of thofe which- 
 follow in the next Note, by my worthy 
 Kinfman Mr. Andrew ATdonctid, a Na¬ 
 tive of the Ifle of Skye, who is' generally 
 efteemed td be a gifted or fecond-lighted' 
 Man. 
 
 Ver. % f i . How the Goddefs f*?r. 
 Ride; gaude, O Moria ! 
 
 Rideam, gaudeam quare ? Quia 
 Tuum Johan-nulum ££>aff( 
 
 Tuum ‘Johan-nulum Sfapfj, 
 £patque, atque Gilberlinos 
 Plumbeos omnes (nofti, qyi nos) 
 Palla, mitra ornes tali! 1 
 
 Ornem quali ? matronali ? > 
 
 Bombax! Pol epifcopali. J. 
 
 My Kinlrnan Mr. Mdb'rtald allures 
 me,’that and are? the 
 
 Gothic Names of three leaden Statues, 
 which will be honoured herd as Peers-of the 
 Realm, before the Beginning of the next' 
 
 Century.. 
 
*94 "The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Judge, my Friends, of the reft by the Men I here name, 
 And believe ev’ry Pam -Prieft in Britain the fame : £ 76 
 Nor an Argus can fpy in that Caft any Odds, 
 
 Who fubmit to all Kings, and who worlhip all Gods. 
 
 Is a Hengifi our Ruler ? the Crofs they abhor, 
 
 And begin a Te Deum to Woden and 'Thor . % 80 
 
 Or fuppofe a young Bacchus (obferve, ’tis a Thing, 
 Which I only fuppofe) here receiv’d as a King ; 
 
 They attend on his Car with Evohes and Hollas . 
 
 Or, is Mahomet come ? they are Mufties and Mollas. 
 
 Be 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 Century. At the fame Time many 
 other wonderful Things may be expected 
 to happen in this Ifland. How far my 
 Scotch Kinfman may fee into Futurity, 
 or whether his Divinations be juft, will be 
 proved by manyPerfons,who are nowborn. 
 In the mean time, I think myfelf much 
 obliged to him, by whofe Help I have 
 made the moft obfcure Part of Scheffers 
 Prediction intelligible to an Englijh Rea¬ 
 der. 
 
 Ver. t 76. And believe &c. 
 
 Praefill, prefbyterve qui fit, 1 
 
 Ex Pammorum fece fi fit, > 
 
 Studia fprevit, facra rifit. . J 
 Hujus fafciae omnes quidem 
 Faciunt, garriunt, fentiunt idem 
 Deque Deo, deque te, Rex, 1 
 Deque(me immifGeam)me,Rexj l 
 Volunt fed, tu velis quae, Rex. j 
 
 Hujus fafcia, of this Bundle, or Bench, 
 or Bunch, or Caft, or Tribe. Petr on , 
 
 • Ver. t 79. Is a Hengifi: our &c. 
 Nobis fi Hengifia dux fit -, 
 
 Pan,mis odio Chrift i crux fit: 
 Rhythmicam incipiunt oderi, 
 Cdebrantque Thor, et Woden. 
 
 Hengifi and Her fa were the firft Sax¬ 
 ons, who fettled in England. Woden and 
 Thor were two of their principal Deities ; 
 who ftill retain fo much Honour among 
 us, that two Days of the Week are con- 
 fecrated to their Names. 
 
 Ver. t 81. Or fuppofe &c. 
 
 Adfit Bacchus: Regem puta. 
 
 - Puta : Eft oratio tuta. 
 
 Regem quern cognofcunt, amant, 
 Eum Deum Pammi clamant. 
 
 " Evohe! titubantque pedes : 1 
 
 Evohe! Gaudia quse, Bacche, des! > 
 Quid fi veniat Mahumedes ? J 
 Thyrfos ponunt & corollas: 
 Pammi fiunt Muftis, Mollahs. 
 
 Evohe ! 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 
 
 * 
 
 9 $ 
 
 Be a Pharaoh the Lord of the Britijh Dominions : £85 
 Lo ! the Pams oiler Incenfe to Oxen and Onions. 
 
 Or, imagine a Tartar poflefs’d of the Throne; 
 
 See ’em croud to a Pagod, and worihip a Stone! 
 
 Nor accufe, ye great Priefts, my oracular Rhymes: 
 
 Nor alledge, that all Craftfmen conform to tbeTimes: £90 
 Nor iniift, thro’ all Changes this Merit you’ve gain’d; 
 When your Gods have been falfe, all your Prayers have 
 been feign’d. 
 
 3 contend, (and I borrow my Logic from Paul) 
 
 If ye honour one Idol, ye honour ’em all. 
 
 , '.. * 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 • Evohe f Evan / Acclamations, which O fanttas gentes! qulbus bac nafcantur in 
 
 Were often repeated by the Priefts of Bac- hortis 
 
 thus , when they celebrated his Feftival. Numina • Juvenal. 
 
 Mufties , Mcllabs , or Meullas , are the • ’ . J V <; >•. 
 
 dignified Clergy, as alfo the Judges and Ver. X 87. Or, imagine a Tartar tic. 
 Magiftrates, among the Mahometans. Furiae nos donarint rege. 
 
 Ver. t 85. Be a Pharaoh &c. 
 Pharaoh , feu quis Ptolemem 
 
 „Quo fe vertent noftri Panmi ? 
 Chrifto infeftiores, quam mi, 
 Saxeum adorabunt fignum, 
 Saxeum numen, aut ilignum. 
 
 9 
 
 Anglia rex fit •, quis turn Deus ? 
 
 The feveral Nations of Great Tarta¬ 
 ry are Pagans* and worfhip Stocks and 
 
 The /Egyptians worfhipped Apis (who S toncs# 
 is alfo called Serapis , and Oftris) in the 
 
 >n fervit nunc temporibusj? 
 * N Quis 
 
* 9 6 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 And there is (nor it moves you, that two or three Jews, 
 Or the wild Carrieronians Obedience refufe) $96 
 
 What your Pamships approach with Rev’rence and 
 Pleafure : 
 
 ’Tis the Image fet up by King Nebucadnezzar. 
 Whether Englijh or Irijb , young Pam -Priejis and old. 
 Ever worfhip in Truth, if the God be of Gold. £ ioo 
 “ Future Adds, through thy Favour, while thus I relate.; 
 “ Is it lawful to afk. What will be my own Fate ? 
 
 « Shall 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Quis non, artifex fi probus, 
 
 (Reges duo fintXduobus ? 
 
 The learned Reader will obferve, not 
 only in this Place, but in many others, 
 I have not been able to exprefs the 
 Strength and Beauty of the Original, 
 
 Ver. J 95. And there is &c. 
 
 Hunc et Angli et lerni, 
 
 Quem a ceteris fecerni, 
 
 Pofuit quem Nabuchadonofor y 
 (Quid ? quod reicit Idolon ofor 
 Sbadrach , Mefach , Ahednegc y 
 Scotus iile, plane ego) 
 
 Uno ore Pamnii ^olunt f 
 Ac non fidto ore colunt. 
 
 Quid fit vivere, ne-fciat *, 
 
 Eum fiquis repu-diat, 
 
 Qui ex auro Deus fiat. 
 
 I fhould be extremely concerned, if 
 this prophetical Digreflion were mifun- 
 
 derftood; or, that any Men of Senfe 
 fhould fufpeft > my Author here intended 
 to caft a general Reflection on the En¬ 
 glijh Clergy. This was far from'Mr. 
 Scheffer's Thoughts, who in all his Writ¬ 
 ings, as well as in his whole Conven¬ 
 tion* hath ever exprefled die greateft Re- 
 fpeCt and Reverence for pious and learn¬ 
 ed Clergymen; and with fome of that 
 Order he hath cultivated a ftriCt Friend- 
 fhip and Correfpondence. This Part of 
 our Poet’s InveCtive is plainly levelled 
 againft bad Priefts, who by the Iniquity 
 of the Times have attained to the higheft 
 Dignities in the Church. Is any Perfon 
 fo properly an Object of Satire, as a 
 proud, illiterate Prelate ; who treats his 
 poor Brethren with the greateft Infolence 
 and Contempt, when at’the fame Time 
 he is a moft abjeCt Flatterer of all in 
 Power, Men and Women too of all De¬ 
 nominations ? I have feen B. G. make 
 a lower Bow to Mifs S her ret , than he 
 ever made at the Name of Jefus . 
 
 Ver- 
 
Book III. The TOAST. * 97 
 
 “ Shall my Eyes, facred Pee an, thefe Wonders behold ? • 
 “ Will thy Kindnefs Hill laft, if I live to be old ? 
 
 “ My Predictions, I fear, will be hardly believ’d, J 105 
 “ Or in Jeft, as a Star gazing Knave’s, be receiv’d ; 
 
 “ If fo knowing I feem, to myfelf yet. unknown; 
 tc If I tell others Fortunes, unlkill’d.in my own.; 
 
 Thus, unlefs ’twas a Vilion, his Godfhip I tried; 
 
 Thus, methought, from his Tripod Apollo replied. % too 
 “ In thy Days will all happen, which here is foretold ; 
 “ Nor my Favour fhall fail thee, whertthoti art grown 
 “ old. 7 . 
 
 u Where the Mufes and I oft have chofen our Seat, 
 
 “ I’ll provide thee (’twas always thy With) a Retreat. 
 
 “ Unambi- 
 
 NOTES and OBSE RVAT IONS. 
 
 Ver. % 106. Or in &c. 
 .Similifque iig videar, 
 
 (Videar hercle, et irridear) 
 
 Qui, per aftra dofti, doceatit 
 Me, qute mihi profint, noceant; 
 Bona, quae a Diis donentur. 
 
 Sibi aftra quae minentur. 
 
 Plane nefeiunt •, nifi quae feiunt, 
 Yiri callidi haec nefeiunt. 
 
 Tu pol , fi fapis , quod feis tiefeis neque 
 de Eunucho &c. Terent. Eunuch. 
 
 The Tricks of pretended Aftrologers 
 are fo well known, that I need not fay 
 any thing of them here. 
 
 Yer. t 113- Where the Mufes and 
 I fcfr. 
 
 Tu a puero quam recle! 
 
 Sedes mece fit feneftee! 
 
 Hasc, quara nofmet nobislegimus-, 
 Hasc, cui magnam gloriam de- 
 dimus. 
 
 Haec, en volumus quam refte, 
 Tuae fedes fit fenedtae. 
 
 * 
 
 Tibur Argeo pofitum colono 
 
 Sit me a: fedes utinam feneftie! Horat* 
 
 Our Author means the Univerfky of 
 Oxford \ which he calls the Seat of Apollo 
 and the Mufes. 
 
 *‘N2 ’ ‘ Ver. 
 
* 9 s The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 “ Unambitious, unftain’d by Corruption thy Breaft, $115 
 “ And the PaiTion, which moft has difturb’d thee, at 
 “ Reft; 
 
 “ Looking down on the Great, and defpifing thy Foes, 
 “ There enjoy, O my Scheffer, a learned Repofe. 
 
 “ And, as now you difcufs, with a Freedom of Mind, 
 c< What is worthy yourfelf, what is due to Mankind;+12 o 
 “ I will hallow thy Lips with a Spark of my Fire, 
 
 “ And the Love of thy Country the Theme fhall infpire. 
 <c Lo! to Britain’s great Goddefs a Temple you raife: 
 “ Lo ! I deck thee, old Bard, with a Chaplet of Bays. 
 
 “ While 
 
 NOTES and OBSE RVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. t 115- Unambitious &c, 
 
 Tibi otia Di fecere : 
 
 Cujus animum movere 
 . Nulla potuit ambitio. 
 
 Nulla potuit largitio. 
 
 Heic tu veteres diurna 
 Manu verfa, et nodturna. 
 
 Viridis fenedtae dices 
 Solas literas altrices: 
 
 I is folis deledtere. 
 
 Tibi otia Di fecere. 
 
 Letters are certainly the moft rational 
 Pleafures of Youth : but they are the real 
 and, indeed, the only Pleafutes of old 
 Age. SeHeCiutem abletfont, fays Cicg&o. 
 
 Ver. f 116. And the PaJJion &e. 
 Balnea fugiens, cunfta quin ea 
 Tela fpernens Cupidinea, ' 
 
 Dixis, animo quieto, 
 
 Mihi, illi, Gallo, Paeto; 
 
 Solus Phyllida habeto. 
 
 Et Phyllida folus habeto. Virgil. 
 
 The Paffion our Author means is fuf- 
 ficiently intimated in thefe Lines, and 
 is indeed generally quieted by old Age. 
 
 Ver. t 123. Lo ! to Britain ’s great 
 Goddefs &c. 
 
 Pia facra (fic in fatis) 
 
 Colas, canas Libertatis. 
 Britannorum magnas aedem 
 Ponas Deas. Dumque, quse dem, 
 Laureis fertis exornaris, 
 
 Deque iis tu gloriaris. 
 
 More fenum ; dum forores 
 Templo dona et honores 
 
 Novem 
 
 1 
 
Book III. ft 'TO A S T. *99 
 
 a While the Mufes their Tribute to Liberty bring; ;£ 125 
 <c And, protected by us, you may cenfure a King. 
 
 “ As you link into Age, you fhall rife into Fame; 
 
 * And the nobleft of Britons fhall honour thy Name : 
 
 “ Fane, and Tufton, and Lee to thy Verfe fhall attend; 
 “ And a Boyle fhall be known thy Companion and 
 “ Friend. +130 
 
 Then, whene’er thouVt perplex’d, or of Bus’nefs afraid, 
 u See Aristo 1 how kindly he lends thee his Aid : 
 
 <c How polite and humane! in his Honour what Truft f 
 <c Did he e’er urge the Caufe, which he knew was 
 “ unjuft ? 
 
 . - « Did: 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Novem ferunt; tutus nae tu es* 
 Nec a regibus quid metues. 
 
 This alludes to a Latin Poem, end- 
 tuled ‘Templum Liber tat is, which our Au¬ 
 thor publhfhed about the Year 1741. We 
 fee feveral other Latin Poems by the fame 
 Hand, all written in Defence of Liberty. 
 
 Yer. t .128. And the whkft &c. 
 
 Viris en eruditiffimis, 
 
 Et iifdem nohilifiinds 
 Tua pagina quam grata ! 
 Carminaque quam probata! 
 Laudes tibi quis negarit, 
 
 Modo Atticus laudarit? 
 Carmen tuum quis culparit, 
 
 Lee, et Tufton fi arivarit ? 
 
 Si divinus ille L^lius, 
 
 Quo amico nil fidelius ? 
 
 By Atticus our Poet intends the 
 prefent Earl of Westmoreland, ta 
 whom he hath given the fame Name, in 
 2l Latin Epiftle. Tufton and Lee are 
 the Earls of Thanet and Litchfield*- 
 and by L^lius, as I obferved before, 
 the prefent Earl of Orrery is defigned. 
 Thefe four Noblemen are not more be¬ 
 loved for their Integrity, and their ftea- 
 dy Adherence to the Caufe of Liberty,, 
 than they are admired for their fine Parts*, 
 and their excellent Tafte and Judgment: 
 in all Branches of polite Literature. 
 
 r - v • - v.. t- • 
 
 Ver. X 131. 'Then., whene'er &c. 
 
 Si* 
 
* iQo *The T OAST. Book III. 
 
 « Did he ever fair Virtue and Merit expofe, 1 135 
 
 (c Like I erne’s -rude Pleaders, like — ? — * and B - s ? 
 
 “ Tho’ unread- in no Law, for the Bar how unfit, 
 
 “ .Who with Truth mingles Learning, and Manners 
 - « »“ with Wit! 
 
 “ Nor forget thy old Chum ; who, whene’er thou 
 “ complain, 
 
 “ Still attends thy fick Couch, and relieves thee from 
 “ Pain. + 14° 
 
 “ That a Spirit fo blith in thy Numbers is found, 
 
 <c And at Sixty thy Mind, as thy Body, is found, 
 
 “ To his Skill and his learned Prefcriptions you owe: 
 li What Machaon was once, fuch is now my Monro. 
 
 This 
 
 NOTES and O B S E R VAT IONS. 
 
 Si, qua nihil gravius pefte, 
 Quocum tibi fint moleftas 
 Lites, adeft rebus tuis 
 En, Aristo; nec quid duis. 
 
 Seu nugatur, convivatur, 
 
 Sive nunc rhetoricatur j 
 Omnia dicit erudite 
 Et ornate, et polite. 
 
 Et (in aurem hoc, vir bone) 
 Semper ulus qui fermone 
 Dofto, comi, et decoro, 
 
 •Quam non aptus ille foro ! 
 
 Aristo was an eminent Lawyer, an 
 intimate Friend of my Author; whom he 
 
 affifted in his Law Affairs. Aristo was 
 an honeft Man, and a polite Scholar. He 
 could never be prevailed on to undertake, 
 or defend an unjuft Caufe; or to engage 
 in any dirty Job: which, as I have fre¬ 
 quently obferved, the greateft Men of his 
 Profeffion have not declined, if the Fee 
 or Reward were proportioned to their 
 Labour. 
 
 Ver. 1 1 29.Nor forget tby old Chum &c. 
 Sed glorieris tu de ceteris 
 Quicquid, Scheffer ■■> Temper veteris 
 Memor fis contubernalis, 1 
 
 Et amici, et fodalis : S- 
 
 Qui Machaon qualis, talis. J 
 
 Qui 
 
*101 
 
 Book III. The T O A S T. 
 
 This obfervant I heard, and was pleas’d with the 
 Theme: X 145 
 
 Yet, if haughty Court-Chaplains imagine, I dream, 
 And pronounce my prophetical Proem a Crime, 
 
 I appeal, to confound all their Cavils, to Time. 
 
 But I’m fure, I’m awake, while my Tale I purfue; J 149 
 And the Wonders, which follow, are known to be true. 
 
 In th p Champain above, which old Poets defcry,. 
 Overlooking vaft Worlds, and adorning the Sky, 
 
 Stands 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 Qui fit, ut (quo nihil rarius) 
 
 Vates fis fexagenarius ? 
 
 Infit lepos, et in ore 
 Vis dicendi ? In cor-pore 
 (Pol aperte hoc explano). 
 
 Quod mens fana eft in fano. 
 
 Quod eft, par eft te fateri, 
 
 Meo Monro id deberi. 
 
 Dr. James Monro had his Educa¬ 
 tion in the fame College with our Author: 
 and they were for fome Time Chamber- 
 fellows. Their Friendfhip, which began 
 in the Univerfity, continued to the End 
 of their Lives. Dr. Monro was a Man 
 of Parts, a very agreeable Companion, 
 and an excellent Phyficiaii. He was cha¬ 
 ritable and generous, and always lived 
 with great Hofpitality. He had, in his 
 whole Converfation and Behaviour, that 
 Kind of Opennefs, which never fails to 
 engage, and is generally the Index of a 
 good Heart. 
 
 Ver. t 146. Tet^if haughty &c. 
 
 Si fuperbi facerdotes 
 Forfan voti jam com potes. 
 
 Non virtutum, neque laudis, 
 
 Tibi, Scheffer, ftruant fraudes ; : 
 Quod hie meus fermo ’ft ferius, 
 Et augurio nihil verius, 
 
 Scibitur, quum feient, quo nos 
 Apte refervarit Xfov©->. 
 
 I have tranflated, fuperbi facerdttes ,, 
 Court-Chaplains, becaufe to me they 
 feem to be the proudeft Men in Eng¬ 
 land. I do not mean, that they are 
 proud of their Birth, or their Learning, 
 but of their Place and Office. I re¬ 
 member the good Advice, which was 
 given to G . and L . when they were made 
 Bifhops, by a great Man, to whom, in 
 fome Meafure, they owed their Prefer¬ 
 ment: “ Try, my Lords, to become 
 
 “ as humble Bijhops , as you have been 
 46 proud Chaplains > and then you may 
 
 “ perhaps 
 
102 
 
 
 The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 Stands a fpacious fair Palace, poffefs’d by the Sun ; 
 
 •Built before Time was meafur’d, or Ages begun ; 
 
 And, as Connoifleurs own, in an excellent Taft, + * 55 
 Of Materials fo firm, it for ever mull laft. 
 
 Nor to this be compar’d any Fabric below, 
 
 Whether falhion’d for Ufe, or invented for Shew: 
 
 Nor the new Houfe of Commons, nor Pamends Folly, 
 Nor the College, or Caftle, or Villa -Conolly ; + 160 
 
 Nor Britannia's ftrong Towers, where refide the Lord- 
 Jaylors, 
 
 Nor the Courts fhe has made for her Kings and her 
 Sailors ; 
 
 Nor 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 without any Tafte, and very ill fituated. 
 
 Ver. t 161. Where refide the Lord- 
 Jay lors. 
 
 Neque turris Londinenfis. 
 
 Cave, intres: cave dentes 
 Lupi-, namquepraeft lupus: 
 
 Cujus cave, Scheffer, tupus. 
 
 The three laft Verfes, which are print¬ 
 ed in Italics , I have not tranflated, be- 
 caufe in this Place they feem to lefTen 
 the Dignity of the Poem. However, I 
 lhall bellow a fhort Note on them, as 
 they ferve to illuftrate the Character of 
 the prefent Deputy-Governor of the T. 
 of L. whom our Author, f. 42. calls a 
 Boeotian , but at the fame Time, by the 
 Word Hibernicijfat , intimates his true 
 Country. This Man was formerly an 
 
 Apothecary, 
 
 “ perhaps recover fome Degree of that 
 “ Refpeit and Reverence, which is due 
 “ to your Function.” 
 
 Ver. t 151. Stands a Jpaclous fair Pa- 
 dace &c. 
 
 Celfa erat, coeli decus, 
 
 Regia Solis. Nemo [ecus 
 Dicet, ni fit Miras moechus. 
 
 1 
 
 See the Defcription of the Palace of the 
 Sun in Ovid’s Metamorpbojis , B. 2. 
 
 Ver. t 159. Parmeno ’s Folly. * 
 Neque Parmenonis redes. 
 
 Grata quae Moriae fedes. 
 
 Tir-Oen informs us, that this was the 
 Houfe of a new Lord, which was built 
 
Book III. .The TOAST. *103 
 
 Nor a Chat/worth , or Blenheim^ nor Paul's Houfe of 
 Prayer, 
 
 Nor the Manlion defign’d for a London Lord-Mayor ; 
 Nor the Plans, which on Paper Palladio projected, +165 
 Nor the Stru&ures Friend Gibbs hath fo neatly erected; 
 Nor the Chapels of Rome, or the Inns of Almain ,. 
 
 Nor the gaudy Verfailles , or Efcurial of Spam ; 
 
 Nor a Nerd s huge Pile (may we never behold 
 
 Such an Architect here !). cover’d over with Gold. J 170 
 
 Much 
 
 NOTES and O B 
 
 Apothecary, or a Barber-Surgeon. Hav¬ 
 ing got tome Money in the laft Reign, 
 he purchafed this Poll, in which he be¬ 
 haves himfelf with the greateft Infolence 
 and Cruelty. And I am well allured, 
 there is not a more rapacious Jay lor in 
 the Britijh Dominions. This Character 
 is indeed very agreeable to his low Edu¬ 
 cation (Afperius nihil ejl humili he.) 
 But then, it certainly renders him very 
 unfit for fuch an Office; which fhould 
 never be exercifed but by a Man of great 
 Humanity and Good-manners, by a Gen¬ 
 tleman and an Englishman. 
 
 Yer. % 166. Nor the Structures Friend 
 Gibbs &c. 
 
 Quas aedificavit mille,. 
 
 Quas Vitruvius alter ille, 
 
 Metis Gibbs, vir eruditus, 
 
 Rerum veterum peritus. 
 
 James Gibbs, an excellent Architect; 
 ^hich the many elegant Fabricks he hath 
 
 SERVATIONS. 
 
 raifed in England , as well as the Plans he 
 hath publdhed, fufficiently teftify. He is a 
 Man of great Humanity and Good-nature, 
 a polite Scholar, and a particular Friend 
 of our Author. 
 
 Since the firft Edition of this Poem. 
 Mr. Gibbs hathfinilhed the Ratcliff Li¬ 
 brary in Oxford , which will be a lading 
 Monument of his great Skill, as it is,, 
 without Exception, the nobleft Room in 
 the Britijh Dominions.. 
 
 Ver. t 167. —or the Inns of Almain. . 
 Nec Germania *, quse emporia 
 Lauta jaftat, diverforia. 
 
 In fome of the Hans- Towns in Ger¬ 
 many the Inns are very fpacious and 
 magnificent: particularly in Augjburg 
 there is an Inn, which is capable of. 
 receiving and entertaining a fovereign . 
 Prince and bis wholo Court. 
 
 Yer, t169. Nor a Nero*j &c. 
 
 *0 Nec 
 

 
 , The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Much inferior I deem that magnificent Houfe, 
 
 By Aladdin contriv’d, to oblige his fair Spoufie; 
 
 Or the vaft Pandcemonium^ in Story fo fam’d, 
 
 Which the Cunning of Mammon , or Milton hath fram’d. 
 
 All 
 
 *104 
 
 NOTES and O BSE RVAT IONS. 
 
 Nec quid ultra meditari 
 Poflimt reges •, (fas fit fari) 
 
 Nero fi sedificaret, 
 
 Aurea tefta vel novaret. 
 
 Abfit nobis 6 feralis, 
 
 Abfit archite&on talis ! 
 
 Nero’s golden Houfe was a mod ex¬ 
 travagant Work, and coft fuch immenfe 
 Sums, that Suetonius fays, he oppreffed the 
 People as much by his Building, as by any 
 other A <51 of Tyranny. In nulla re dam - 
 nojior , quam in adificando. And Nardini , 
 in his Roma Antica , after having particu¬ 
 larly defcribed this Fabric, with the Of¬ 
 fices, Gardens, Fifh-Ponds, &c. makes 
 the following Reflection : Vi fi raffigura 
 al vivo rimmanita di Nerone forfe non mi*- 
 nore in quefta fabrica cbe nell’ incendio 
 poi commejfo della cittd. From hence one 
 might form a juft Notion of Nero’r Inhu¬ 
 manity : And perhaps he did not give a 
 greater Proof of it, when he burnt the City , 
 than when he built this Houfe . 
 
 Otho expended in finilhing a fmall Part 
 of it £htinge?ities H. S. which amounts 
 to 403645 /. 16 x. 8 d. of our Money. 
 
 The two lafl: Verfes (Abfit See.) which 
 I have tranflated in a Parenthefis, contain 
 a pious Ejaculation, proceeding from the 
 Patriot Spirit of our honeft Swede s and 
 
 in which everyone, who is a Lover of his 
 Country, will moft heartily join. Princes 
 of Nero’s Caft, who diveft themfelves of 
 all Humanity, in which Number I rank 
 thofe Heroes and Conquerors, who make 
 their Glory confift in the Invafion of their 
 Neighbours Territories, and in plunder¬ 
 ing and murdering the Inhabitants, are 
 very properly called by Seneca , Lions and 
 Bears ; £htte alia vita effet , ft Leones 
 Ursi^h* regnarent ? But yet, it would 
 more juftly exprefs their Chara&er, if we 
 were to compare them to a Plague, or 
 Peftilence ; fince they facrifice Millions 
 to their Ambition and Cruelty, and fpread 
 Deftru£ion and Defolation as fax, as their 
 Power reaches. 
 
 Ver. % 171. Much inferior &c. 
 
 Neque Pandcemonium vatis, 
 
 Nec his aedes conferatis, 
 
 Quas Aladdin. His im-pares, 
 
 Nec fie fui fiti Lares, 
 
 Nobiles quas colunt Mu fie ; 
 
 Seu quas habitant empufie 
 Ture, D’AnoiSy feu quas ftel- 
 lis fafturus Sydrophel ; 
 
 Seu quas delineavit Picrcy 
 Reip. bono ; feu quas Circe 
 Suis mcechis. Cedant iftae, 
 
 Quas aerii Alchymifite . 
 
 I muft 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 89 
 
 ♦ 
 
 All the Seats, where rich Mufes have lodg’d their own 
 Lares, 
 
 And the Domes Madam D'Anois has rais’d for her 
 Fairies; 
 
 All ere&ed by Syd for the Planets’ Debate; 
 
 All invented by P - ce for the Good of the State ; 50 
 
 All the Grottos, where Witches for Solace repair, 
 
 And the Caftles, which Alchymifts build in the Air. 
 
 But perhaps you’ll fufped, that my Song is a Fable, 
 When I tell you this Hotel is only a Stable; 
 
 That capacious Gold Mangers, with Rubies thick 
 
 fer ’ 55 
 
 In the Salon are plac’d, like a modern Buffet; 
 
 NOTES' and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 I muft refer the (Reader to Milton for 
 a Defcription of the Pand#monium y or 
 the Stadt-Houfe of the Devils, and to the 
 Arabian Nights Entertainments for a De¬ 
 fcription of Ala dins Palace, which was 
 built by Magic, and adorned with Gold 
 and Jewels of ineftimable Value. The 
 Fairy Houfes of Madam D'Anois are con¬ 
 trived much after the fame Model. But 
 I am a little at a Lofs where to find the 
 Habitations of the rich and noble Mufes: 
 Perhaps the Poet alludes to the Sic fiti la :- 
 tcmtur Lares , which we read in St. James's 
 
 park.- The Planetary Houfes, the 
 
 Grottoes of Witches, and the Caftles of 
 Alchymifls, are all fufficiently defcribed 
 by feveral learned and ingenious .Aftrolo- 
 g6rs, Hi(foriographers, and Poets. But I 
 muft own I am not fo well acquainted 
 with thefe inchanted Fabricks, as with 
 
 thofe which our Author intimates, were 
 ere&ed for the Service of the State by the 
 late Surveyor Sir E. P. Tir-Oen , who is 
 of Opinion, that Mr. Scheffer does not in¬ 
 tend any Compliment to the Surveyor by 
 ranking him in this Clafs of Builders, af¬ 
 firms very ferioufly, that Sir E. P. knew 
 fo little of his Trade, that he bought all 
 his Models from the Paftry Cook, and 
 particularly, that a great Goofe Pye fer- 
 ved for the Model of the new Parliament 
 Houfe. From hence a merry Friend of 
 mine, who loves punning, took occafion 
 one Day to vindicate our Knight’s Skill 
 in Architecture, and to prove that he had 
 
 a Grand Gout. -- However, I have 
 
 heard a different Relation of this Matter, 
 and that one Mr. Caftles furnifhed the Sur¬ 
 veyor with the Plan, by which this Houfe 
 was built: See Scheffer's Epiftle to Cadenus. 
 
 N That 
 
po The TOAST. Book III 
 
 That his Godfhip’s fair Daughters fweep clean all the 
 Rooms, ' > 
 
 And, excelling all Houfe-wives, are Hand-maids, and 
 Grooms; 
 
 That his fiery fierce Steeds, with Ambrofia high fed, 
 
 At their Pleafure thefe Virgins can guide with a 
 Thread; 6 0 
 
 That fo fwift are the Courfers, they think it mere Play, 
 Or a Breathing —— to meafure the Globe in a Day. 
 Nor unween I, that modern Copernican Sages 
 Ridicule the Suns Hotel, his Chariot and Stages; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 57. That his Godjhip's fair 
 Daughters &c. 
 
 Filias Solis , fed & illas 
 Solis etiam font ancillae, 
 
 Bellas Horcz ; indies curant 
 Solis equos, & fat-urant. 
 
 The Hora or Hours were the Daugh¬ 
 ters of Sol and Chronis : And the Sun 
 himfelf was called Horus by the /Egypti¬ 
 ans. According to Hejiod they were the 
 Daughters of Jupiter and Themis. But 
 notwithstanding their high Birth and Qua¬ 
 lity, Ovid tells us, they were the Servants 
 and Hand-maids of the Sun, and had 
 likewife the Care of his Horfes. 
 
 ungere equosTitan vehcihus imperat Horis. 
 ujja Dea celtres per a gun t: ignemque vq- 
 mentes 
 
 Ambroftce fuccofaturos prafepibus altis 
 
 Quadrupedes jungunt , adduntque fonantia 
 frcena . 
 
 He bade the Light-foot Hours without He- 
 lay 
 
 To join his Steeds. The Goddejfes obey. 
 And from their lofty Mangers forthwith led 
 His fiery Horfes with Ambrofiafed. Sandys. 
 
 Ver. 63. • that modern Coperni¬ 
 can Sages , &c. 
 
 Flocci faciunt maledici 
 Seftatores Copernici 
 Regiam Solis, currum, equos, 
 Solis omnia, omnes, quae, quos &c. 
 
 According to the Syftem revived by Co¬ 
 pernicus, the Sun is fuppofed to be fixed 
 and placed in the Centre, and the Planets 
 with the Earth are fuppofed to move a- 
 bout the Sun. 
 
 And 
 
Book IIL .The TOAST. 91 
 
 And pretend, with their Glafles his Nags may be feen; 65 
 That they travel above, like our Horfe on the Green, 
 Made to prance and curvet with fo martial a Grace, 
 Yet unable to move half an Inch from his Place. 
 
 But advance thefe new Sophiftsfuch Doctrines as lift ’em; 
 Let the Poet adhere to Dan Ovid's old Syftem. 70 
 Now it dawn’d — and the vigilant Purple-face Morn- 
 mg. 
 
 Of the Suns near Approach, gave his Houlhold due 
 Warning. 
 
 All the Horce look’d out; drove away ev’ry Star, 
 
 And, before his Arrival, got ready his Car. 
 
 Tho’ fo late he had tippled, he had not mifreckon’d: 75 
 When he mounted, of Six it juft wanted a Second. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver, 66. ■■ ■ — Like our Horfe on the 
 Green , &c. 
 
 Video* Regem gloriofum ? 
 
 Video’ equum bellicofum ? 
 
 Verum equum hunc putares, 
 
 Vultum Regis formidares 
 
 Trucem. Sed heu! quid Rex? 
 nil is. 
 
 Equus quoque immo-bilis. 
 
 The Poet in this Place alludes to the 
 Equeftrian Statue of K. William, which 
 Hands on College Green, over’againft the 
 P. H. Tir-Oen is of Opinion, that the 
 prancing Pofture of the Horfe, is the Hi- 
 eroglyphick of a verbofe,tautological Speak¬ 
 
 er, who declaims in the Pulpit or Senate 
 with great Volubility, but without any 
 Meaning. If fuch was the Intention of 
 the Founders, this Statue is appofitely 
 placed. 
 
 Ver. 71. Now it dawn'd —- and the 
 vigilant &c. 
 
 Vultum vigilis Aurorce 
 Rubefcentis vident Horce i 
 Quas acce flus figna dabant 
 Dei, aftra dum fugabant. 
 
 See hereafter an Account of Aurora 
 (the Morning) in the Note on the firft 
 Verfe of the fourth Book. 
 
 Ver. 76. When he mounted , of Six See. 
 M 2 Sextas 
 
 
92 The T o A S T. Book III. 
 
 In his Mounting what Grace ! in his Driving what Skill! 
 Nor his Horfes he fpar’d, tho’ the Way was up Hill; 
 Never flopping to kifs a young Wife, or to drink; 
 Never whiffling or {wearing, - becaufe he can t 
 
 think. 
 
 IiJ. 
 
 So 
 
 As he urg’d on his Stage, he revolv’d in his Mind 
 All the Toasts of laft Night, — how his own was defin’d : 
 And refolv’d to inlpedt, fince fhe liv’d in his Way, 
 
 If, as Mars had aflerted, his Confort was Grey.. 
 
 For in Matters important, the God is too wife, S5 
 When his own are the beft, to truft other Folks Eyes. 
 Well he wot too, the Warrior was apt to defame 
 Holy Rites of young Hymen, and ev’ry chafleDame; 
 
 To 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sextae haud momentum deeft, 
 
 O Sol, quis exattior te eft ? 
 
 By this Paflage we learn, thatthe Sun’s 
 Vifit to Myra, was either at the Vernal or 
 Autumnal Equinox. 
 
 Ver. 87. Well he wot too the Warrior 
 &c. 
 
 Jura Manors cafta folet 
 (Noftro Phcelo hoc fub-olet) 
 Hymenad infamare •, 
 
 Convivafque nunc captare, 
 
 Nugas tumidas dicendo ; 
 
 Nunc feipfum, repetendo. 
 
 Ratas lie fabellas iri 
 Putat, neque fe mentiri. 
 
 Sir Mars (as Tir-Oen obferves) was lo 
 great an Enemy to Hymen, that he did 
 not confummate with Myra till two 
 Months after their Marriage, which gave 
 Occation for the following Sonnet of Be- 
 nedi£i Mulhollan, which I have tranflated 
 from the Irijh Original. 
 
 Sir Mars had now been two Months wed. 
 And felt fome Symptoms in his Head, 
 rThen in the Circle it was faid. 
 
 His Spoufe had juji mijcarried. 
 
 This put our Knight into a Flame : 
 
 He/wore, tho\ftill he lov'd that fame, 
 He never had enjoy'd the Dame ; 
 
 Not — not —fence they were married, 
 
 But by the Way, this is a dire# Con- 
 4 tradition 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 93 
 
 r- r - j- , 
 
 To relate an old Tale, but to fwear it was new; 
 
 And repeat it fo oft, till he fancied ’twas true. go 
 True fuppofe it; his Spoufe fail’d in conjugal Duty; 
 Was expenfive and lewd, yet (he might be a Beauty. 
 Many Belles are obferv’d to lead whimfical Lives, 
 
 And fome excellent Toafts, who are very bad Wives. 
 So to judge for himfelf, and the Donna furvey 5 95 
 
 As he roll’d over Dublin , he ftopt on the Quay ; 
 
 And difpelling the Clouds, which obftru&ed his Sight, 
 Darted in at her Bed-Chamber Windows his Light. 
 
 There he faw — How unpleahng the Scene I unfold l 
 But the Tale will be fpoil’d, or the Truth muft be 
 told,. j qo 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 tradition to the Story of the Philtre. See 
 the Note Ver. 157. Book II. And as it is 
 not mentioned by either|of the Dutch 
 Commentators, I conje&ure it was writ¬ 
 ten by the Druid to railly the old Knight, 
 whom he did not love, and for the Sake of 
 the double entendre in the laft Verfe. 
 
 Ver. 90. True fuppofe it &c. 
 
 Prodiga, libidinofa! 
 
 Quid turn, conjux fi formofa ? 
 
 Et quid mirum (fit acutus) 
 
 Eques fenex fi cornutus ? 
 
 The Poet here fpeaks in the Language 
 of our Irijh Gallants, whoexcufeall Faults 
 in sl beautiful Woman. 
 
 Ver. 99. Hozvunpleafngthe Scene &c. 
 Dicam crimina turpiffima, 
 
 Sed & crimina verilTima ; 
 
 Mordax carmen, & ingratum ; 
 Sed fic opus fore ratum. 
 
 JMordax carmen fadito non 
 Sine causa ; fine quo non. 
 
 Mithra , femper mi colende, 
 Arcum tende, vim defende. 
 
 It cannot pafs unobferved here, that 
 Mr. Scheffer has infer ted this Apoftrophe to 
 apologife in fome Meafure for the Liber¬ 
 ties of the Satire, which immediately fol¬ 
 lows. But I fhall enlarge on this Matter 
 hereafter. 
 
 Sacred 
 
9 4 The TOAST- Book III. 
 
 Sacred Mithra , iince now I have brought thee fo nigh, 
 Be propitious —and keep me a while in thine Eye: 
 Nor thy Name I invoke, (well I know the vaft Odds) 
 As before I addrefs’d to thofe foolifh old Gods. 
 
 Be propitious; for lo! the rude Satire I frame 105 
 Adds a Topic of Praife, and enlarges thy Fame. 
 
 Since to emulate thee, the foul Fiends I defied ; 
 
 Give me Courage: — But ftill let me fight by thy Side. 
 So (hall I, unappal’d, meet Hermaphrodites Form, 
 Tho’ {he rides in a Whirl-wind, and fpouts out a 
 Storm, no 
 
 Arm’d 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 103. Nor thy Name I invoke &c. 
 Dones rite quae precamur! 
 
 Neque vos nunc veneramur, 
 
 Sicut holies tuos, meos, 
 
 Quos jocole dixi Deos, 
 Homunciones, fceliones, 
 
 Et nequifiimos prasdones. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer here plainly tells us, that 
 his Invocation or Addrefs to Sir Marw nd 
 Vol in the firft Book, is a mere Irony. 
 
 Ver. 109. So Jhall I, unappal’d , &c. 
 Sic apolattizem Sagas, 
 
 Et quas tendunt, malas plagas j 
 Metuens nec Hermaphroditi, 
 
 Vel E—fcopis muniti 
 Sive equitat in vcntis 
 Furens, ut in moechis lentis: 
 
 Dum ex ore torrens ruit 
 Faedo, & me foede fpuit. 
 
 Sive blennum Vol capiftrat; 
 
 Sive Perfeus nunc miniftrat; 
 
 Aut qui quit, fcit -ret cnravloc, 
 
 Ifte alter Holophanta. 
 
 Induat arma fi feralia, 
 
 Furialia, Avcrnalia •, 
 
 Queis tres viros occidifle 
 Aut infanos quos fecifle 
 Fertur. Tres num ? Corrige nos : 
 Mcechos , Mufa , die trecenos. 
 
 Nec nos terreat, quas S - organ 
 
 Habitat, pumilio Gorgon; 
 
 Cum devoveat caput meum, 
 Quaflet fuum vipereum, 
 
 Jaciat angues : haud me plot ,; 
 
 Tute tete, O Harpyia. 
 
 In this Place we are informed by Tir- 
 Oen , that immediately after th e Vo¬ 
 lume of this Work was puyilhed, the 
 
 Sorcerefs threatned to poifon the Author, 
 
 4 this 
 
Book III. The T O A S T. 9$ 
 
 Arm’d with all the dire Spells, which three Husbands 
 deftroy’d, 
 
 When the Wretches grew weak, or the Beldam was 
 cloy’d; 
 
 Tho’ fhe comes, well fupported by all her black Hoft, 
 
 / 
 
 By the Piercy , and t’other fierce Knight of the Poll; 
 Felly raging, and vengeful, imputing to me, 115 
 That unbid, I recorded thy righteous Decree. 
 
 Nor I’ll fear the Imp-Fury, tho’ dreadful fhe fhakes, 
 And commands her black Locks to be chang d into 
 
 Snakes: 
 
 On herfelf fhed the Venom, unable to fling 
 Any Bard, who from thee has a Licence to fing. 120 
 But beware, my good Mufe, left thy Work grow too 
 long, 
 
 And, digrefiing fo oft, thou embarrafs the Song. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 this being a Trade in which Ihe was very 
 expert, and by which Means, it is faid, 
 fhe had deftroyed three Husbands, and a 
 great Number of her Gallants. In the 
 mean time, her Imp Ali was employed to 
 Invent Calumnies, and pour out her Male- 
 diaions in all Places, where fhe was fup- 
 pofed to have any Credit or Influence. 
 Without all doubt, fhe was capable of do¬ 
 ing Mr. Scheffer great Injuries, with thofe 
 efpecially, who were unacquainted with his 
 Character. I believe he was truly fenfible 
 of the Effects of her Malice, fince in the 
 little he has faid of her, he has treated her 
 
 with more Acrimony (if poflible) than her 
 Miff refs Myra. Some Military Men, 
 who could not fpell, and B. H. who could 
 not read, were indeed at all times ready to 
 depofe upon Oath, that the Imp Ali had 
 a great deal of Wit; and that if fhe pleafed, 
 fhe could be a Match for our Author at 
 his own Weapons. Tir-Oen pleafantly 
 ridicules the Judgment of thefe fine Fel¬ 
 lows, whom he calls Bardos Buccones , qui 
 ingenium latere putant in inguine , and 
 allures us, that if the Imp had any 
 Wit, it was like her Beauty, borrowed 
 or counterfeit. 
 
 To 
 
96 The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 To the Quay, where you left our great Mailer, repair; 
 And be bold to report what his Godlhip faw there. 
 
 There he law the huge Mafs tumble out of her Bed ; 
 Like Bello?ias her Stature, the Gorgon % her Head; 126 
 
 Hollow 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Yer. 125. There he faw the hu 
 Mafs &c. 
 
 Carnis en ! de cubi-li de- 
 icendit mafia fubran-cidae. 
 
 Ingens bellua, Bellona, 
 
 Ore referens Gor-gona. 
 
 Cava ("nihil mar tropis) 
 
 Torquet lumina Bourne. 
 
 Cana coma : frons turpata 
 Cruftis, rugis exarata. 
 
 Rari dentes. Denfis*fima 
 Barba, caprae fimil-lima, 
 Cogiturin mentum. Cutis 
 Scabra, lutea ; corium putes. 
 Gibbus. Putres mamma* tales, 
 Ubera equina, quales. 
 
 Valga : Craflos dt Sicryjhe 
 Poftes luflinebant pedes. 
 
 I tranflated this Part of my Author’s 
 Poem with much Relu&ancy. ' The De¬ 
 fection of Myra's Perfon, and of her 
 Morning Exercifes j and the Figure and 
 Character of her Imp are a little too grofs, 
 and [ fear will (hock the Folitenefsof fome 
 Men, who have my Way of thinking: 
 For I profefs to have the greateft Vene¬ 
 ration for the fair Sex. And therefore, I 
 fhould certainly have omitted many of the 
 Verfes which I have juft now quoted, as 
 well as thofe which follow, if fuch a 
 Chafm would not have rendered the whole 
 Work lame and imperfea. Thofe Paf- 
 fages, which gave me the greateft Difguft, 
 fuch efpea ly as I found would not break 
 tne I bread of the Narration, I have en¬ 
 
 tirely left out. And the reft of my Ver- 
 (ion I have managed in fuch a Manner, 
 that I hope it may now be read without 
 giving any great Offence to a modeft Ear; 
 however, it may offend a weak Stomach, 
 or (as I faid before) be difagreeable to fuch 
 Perfons, as pretend to a very refined and 
 polite Tafte. Having made this Apology 
 for my felf, I mud beg the Reader’s In¬ 
 dulgence, while I offer fome Excufe for 
 my Author. He was born in a Country, 
 where the People have little Delicacy ei¬ 
 ther in Writing or Converfation. Les 
 Laponnois , fays a French Traveller, font 
 f l S r 0 Jf ers i qu'ils ne ffavent nommer les 
 chofes que par leur nom . The Laplanders 
 are fo barbarous , that they call every thing 
 by its proper Name. This was the Man¬ 
 ner of all the Gothic Nations; and is ftill 
 pra&ifed by fome of the Northern People, 
 who would not be thought to want Breed¬ 
 ing. Even among the Englijh , till to¬ 
 wards the End of Qh Elizabeth's Reign, 
 the plaineft Speaker was reckoned the moft 
 hone ft Man. But particularly the old 
 Englijh Poets made no Scruple of deferr¬ 
 ing I hings, as they really were : efpecially 
 when they repeated another Man’s Story. 
 And for this Reafon Chaucer excufes ail 
 that Ribaldry, which we find in his Can¬ 
 terbury Tales. I may borrow his Words, 
 where he apologizes for making his Wife 
 of Bath fpeak fo broad, to juftify Mr. Schef¬ 
 fers Defcription and Character of Myra. 
 
 ■—— 3 prai? pen of pour Courts, 
 SCitft pr ne arreffeif noncrfjt m? wi* 
 
 ianr, 
 
 
Book III. 
 
 The TOAST. 
 
 Hollow Eyes with a Glare, like the Eyn of an Ox; 
 And a Forehead deep furrow’d, and matted grey Locks; 
 With atoothlefs wide Mouth, and a Beard on her Chin, 
 And a yellow rough Hide in the Place of a Skin; 130 
 Brawny Shoulders up-rais’d; Cow-Udders j Imp’s Teat; 
 And a Pair of bow’d Legs, which were fet on Splay Feet. 
 With the Figure the God was furpriz’d and offended, 
 When he mark’d how thefe various Defeats were a- 
 mended; 
 
 How her Back was laid flat with an Iron Machine, 
 
 And her Breads were lac’d down, with a fweet Bag 
 between : 
 
 How 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Etoug!) ttat 3J plainly Cpeafc m tljtc 
 #atte re, 
 
 #iid tellers you fj£r Words, and the 
 tier Cljere. 
 
 I have obferved before, that Mr. Schef¬ 
 fer , though he was a Man of Fancy and 
 Invention, has related his Story juft as 
 it happened : But particularly in this third 
 Book, in which he has chara&erifed the 
 old Matron, he has adhered as* ftridtly to 
 the T ruth, as if he had flood in the Pre¬ 
 fence of his High Excellency the 
 Lord Chancellor of Ireland . Our 
 
 Poet was fen fible, that all the Deeds he 
 has recorded, were performed within the 
 Memory of many of our Citizens, who 
 are ft ill living, and who mud: like wile 
 well remember the Perfon and Figure of 
 the great Enchantrefs. He would not 
 therefore beftow upon her any other 
 Dawbings than fuch as he found on her 
 own Toilet, (thefe indeed he has ufed 
 
 with no unfparing hand) or put any other 
 Words into her Mouth, than fuch as made 
 aPart of her daily Orailbns. Yet after all, 
 
 I wifh there had not been Occafion to in¬ 
 troduce this Charafler. But a: Writer of 
 Heroics will fcarce ever think his Work 
 compleat, unlefs fome eminent Witch or 
 Enchanter has a principal Share in the 
 A&ion. And the greateil of all our mo¬ 
 dern Bards, good Chriftians and Catho- 
 licks, have not fcrupled upon fbme Oe- 
 cafions to call up a whole Legion of Devils 
 for their Heroes to encounter. Our Au¬ 
 thor has here raifed only one and a half: 
 And they were ready made to his Hands. I 
 mull own indeed, that they were as wicked 
 and deformed, as he could in Confcience 
 defire them to be. So that he could not 
 poflibly have been better furnilhed from 
 his own Invention. 
 
 Ver. 136. And her Breafts &c. 
 
 O Eademque 
 
98 The TOAST. Book III 
 
 How flie /haded her Eyes, and the fqualid black Beard 
 Was fo fmoothly fhav'd off, fcarce a Bridle appear’d ; 
 How £he clear’d the old Ruins, new plaifter’d her Face, 
 And apply’d Red or White, as it fuited the Place: 140 
 With a Set of TVatts Teeth, and a Cap of Deard's Hair, 
 Like a Virgin fhe bloom’d, and at fixty feem’d Fair. 
 
 Thus 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Eademque rufas facit -, 
 
 Ac quacunque olida fir. 
 
 Plus odoribus, quam fatis 
 Se & fuffit medicatis ; 
 
 Suffit alas, mammas, nates. 
 
 Eadem rufae facit. 
 
 i e. Eadem facit ac rufa. She does 
 what a Red-head is ufed to do. 
 
 Nenipe eadem. facit (ac feimus facere 
 amnia) turpi . i. e. ac turpis. Lucret, 
 
 Laeves, candidos praebente 
 Dentes elephant! dente; 
 
 Quos Pigmseus operator 
 Tornat Wittus, dentium lator. 
 
 The Attitude in which Mr. Scheffer 
 hath placed the Sorcerefs at her Toilet 
 gives us greater Offence than the Defcrip- 
 tion of her Perfon, when (he was getting 
 out of Bed : And therefore, the Poet does 
 not make Phoebus angry with her, becaufe 
 (he was old and ugly, but becaufe fhe en¬ 
 deavoured to appear young andhandfome. 
 
 1 tr-Uen, m explaining this Paffage, 
 makes ufe of a very ftrong Expreflion, 
 ht hircus tn alis cubat , iff hircina libidine 
 joetet venejica . 
 
 The learned Reader will obferve, how 
 carefully I avoid all Occafions of giving 
 Oifence by leaving out many curious 
 Paffages both in the Poem itfeif, and in 
 the Notes of the Latin Commentators. 
 
 
 
 Perriwigs or Locks of falfe Hair, made 
 by the famous Deard , who keeps a Toy- 
 (hop in London ., and fells all Sorts of Or¬ 
 naments or Implements for the Ufe of La¬ 
 dies of Quality or Pleafure. 
 
 Pigmaeus Wattus .. 
 
 Ver.139. Newplaifter'dber Face, &c. 5 ' a ^ amous Operator 
 
 Frons rugofa incruftata ; 1 eeth > ,s a ve T lktk IV!an. 
 
 ' VW '&c' ^ * Vir P n J h,bllm ’’% 
 
 Ik Thu p°i fci 
 
 Celae afeititius"ink !' C forn.ofa, 
 
 Et impexam hie canidem, {“S S? ru S“ fa ' 
 
 Ec cfcfonnem hicca.™™, 
 
 Tir-Qen 
 
Book III The TOAST. 99 
 
 Thus you fee an old Hulk, many Years Weather¬ 
 beaten, 
 
 All the Timbers grown rotten, the Plank all Worm- 
 eaten ; 
 
 Which the Owners, who doom her to make one more 
 
 Trip, 145 
 
 Scrape and calk, tar and paint, till fhe feems a new 
 Ship. 
 
 But alas l for the Wretches, whofe Gods have forgot ’em, 
 That are bound to adventure in fuch a foul Bottom. 
 
 Here his Godfhip (inclin’d to examine the whole, 
 Which compos’d this odd Creature) look’d into her 
 Soul. 150 
 
 He conceiv’d a faint Hope, that within he Ihould find 
 Hidden Beauties, good Senfe, and a virtuous fair Mind: 
 Which, he knew, for Exteriors would make full Amends, 
 And enrol her a Toast among Platonic Friends. 
 
 But 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Tir-Oen obferves, that this Simile juft- 
 ly correfponds in all its Parts and Cir- 
 cumftances to the Thing before defcribed. 
 Corbita properly fignifies a great old foul 
 Ship. Corbit0 is a Word ufed by Plau¬ 
 tus, and fignifies, to freight or lade a Ship, 
 or to fill an huge Paunch : This Word 
 is aptly applied to the Character of Myra , 
 who, as Scheffer tells us in another Place, 
 
 Mille viros potuit totumque vorare Priapum . 
 
 Ver. 154. And enrol her a Toajl &c. 
 Cyathoque (anum ligna 
 Die Plato ) rifu digna 
 Philofophico bibatur; 
 
 Cum Philofophus potator. 
 
 Platonick Love, is a Love abftra&ed 
 from all corporeal and fenfual Appetites, 
 and con fills wholly in Contemplation. 
 So that a Plalonij} may be allowed to fall 
 in love with an old Woman for the Sake 
 v O 2 of 
 
ioo The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 ' V V 
 
 But again he was baulk’d: — Fora Soul he ofpy d 155 
 Full of Envy, black Malice, bafe Leafing, and Pride; 
 Hypocritical, fordid, vain-glorious, in grate ; 
 
 In her Frienfhips rnofi; falfe, and relentlefs in Hate. 
 
 He beheld, at one View, all the Adts of her Life; 
 How experienc’d a Mifs; how abandon’d a Wife! 160 
 
 That 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 of her Mind. But few Poets are able 
 to comprehend the Nature and Excellen¬ 
 cy of this exalted Paflion. Mr. Cowley , 
 though he was a modeft Man and a good 
 Chriftian, has raillied this Sort of Love in 
 h/s Anfwer to the Platonicks. 
 
 So Angels love ; Jo let them love for me, & c. 
 
 Ver. 155. — For a Soul heefpied &c. 
 Mentem vidit Di Di qualem ! 
 Exitialem, furialem &c. 
 
 According to Tir-Oen , this is a very 
 jnodeft and imperfect Defcription of My¬ 
 ra's Soul. For he tells us, that Mr. Scheffer 
 has not given us a Catalogue of half her 
 Vices and bad Qualities. 
 
 Ver. 160. How experienc'd aMiJs,&cc. 
 Quos puellulse calores, 
 
 Nuptre vidit quos furores! 
 
 Quae libido, cum vetu-la. 
 
 Infiat tetra & Majcu-la ! 
 
 Meffalina fi certaret, 
 
 Meflalinam fuperaret 
 Mira , Priapeium decus, 
 
 Moechi, moech as, moecha, m oechus. 
 Quid, quod juvenes protervi ? 
 Quod fuorum rigent nervi ? 
 Tribadem dum Shylockiffa , 
 
 Venere non intermilsa,/ 
 
 Miram patitur, amorum 
 Haud indocilis novorum. 
 
 If I have not exafitfy prefervfcd the Sen*- 
 timents and Images of the Original in my 
 Tranflation of this Pailage, the Reader 
 muft impute it to the Modefty of my 
 Mufe. 
 
 Libido Mafcula. 
 
 Tir-Oen , who is well skilled in the Do- 
 ftrine of Witchcraft, allures us, that all 
 Witches, whether black or white, or of 
 what Order or Degree foever, have that 
 fame mafeuline Appetite, which Mr. 
 Scheffer aferibes to Myra , and by which 
 the Sorcerefs Folia is particularly diftin- 
 guilhed in Horace. 
 
 Non defuiffe mafculae libidinis 
 Ariminenjem Foliam 
 
 Et otiofa credidit Neapolis , 
 
 Et omne vicinum oppidu?n. 
 
 Mr. Dacier’s Note on this Place will 
 bed ferve to explain our Author’s Mean¬ 
 ing. Folie eft le nom propre d'une forciere * 
 Horace dit , qiielle etoit jnafculx libidinis, 
 cejl a dire , qu elle arnoit les femmes , 
 comme les hommes les aiment , quelle etoit 
 Tribade . Folia is the proper Name of a 
 Sorcerefs. Horace fays y Jhe was a Woman 
 mafculae libidinis, that is to fay , Jhe loved 
 3 , Wmen 
 
Book III. The TOAST. ioi 
 
 That advancing in Years, all her Wants fhe fupply’d, 
 By an Art, which the fam’d Meffalina ne’er try’d. 
 
 Tho’ her Gallants were few, or not made to her Mind; 
 Yet her Joyance was full, if the Jewefs was kind. 
 While the God, that no Room might be left for a 
 Doubt, 165 
 
 Turn’d her upffde and down, and then infide and out; 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Women in the fame Manner as Men love 
 them } fht was a Tribad. 
 
 Meffalina fi certaret. 
 
 The famous Story of Meffalina , Wife to 
 the Emperor Claudius , is told by Juvenal 
 in his fixth Satire, tranflated by Mr. Dry- 
 den. I refer the Reader to that Paflage, in 
 order to form a right Notion of the Pow¬ 
 ers and Abilities of Scheffer’s Myra . 
 
 Shylockifla. 
 
 All the Latin Commentators have Rum¬ 
 bled at this Word, and offer various Con¬ 
 jectures concerning the Etymology of it. 
 But in my Opinion, the Matter does not 
 admit of the leaft Doubt. Shylockiffa is not 
 a proper Name, as Meflieurs Cuper and 
 Wetflein conceive. But in this Place, it 
 lignites a Jewefs, or one who is the 
 Daughter of a Jew, and is a Derivative 
 from Shy lock, the wicked old Jew in 
 Shakefpeare. The Reader may be affined, 
 that the Poet here defigns the fame Per- 
 fon, who in the fecond Book is called 
 Frow pufilla , the little Dutch Frow and 
 who hereafter is charadrerifed by the Name 
 er Title of Myra’s Imp . 
 
 Ver. 165. While the God , that no 
 Room &c. 
 
 Dubitatio quo tollatur 
 Omnis, Mira dum miratur 
 Faftum, formam, fucum, frontem, 
 Modum, molem, mentem, mon- 
 tem *, 
 
 Et quae ultra haud effari 
 Fas fit, necquae meditari 
 
 Cupit Deus :- 
 
 Ah ! offend it cogitantis 
 Secum, fibi indignantis 
 Aures Sagae vox lethalis, 
 Horifon\ Harpyim qualis ; 
 
 Bonos diris agens. Dira 
 Dcteftatio veftra, Mira , 
 
 • Cui fit inaudita, qua ve- 
 tus jam expugnatur Ave ? 
 
 I found it impoffible within the Com- 
 pafs I have all along preferibed to myfelf, 
 to tranflate the four firft Lines of this 
 Quotation literally; but I think I have 
 exprefled our Author’s Meaning. 
 
 Faftum, formam, &c. 
 
 There are many Verfes in Scheffer’ sPoem 
 in which every Word begins with the fame 
 Confonant. The learned Dr. Hickes in¬ 
 forms us, that the Northern People were 
 always fond of this Manner of Writing, 
 and efteemed fuch Ingeminations to be 
 
 the 
 
102 
 
 T ZJ 
 
 The TOAST. Book III 
 
 And furvey’d all her Parts-many more, than is fit 
 
 For the Bard to defcribe ;— but ftill found himfelfbit: 
 
 While he ponder’d, by Turns, much enrag’d and alham’d 
 To behold the fine Toast, which his Highnefs had 
 nam’d: j^o 
 
 Heark! the Voice of a Fury invades his nice Ear; 
 Andfo dreadful her Curfes! — he trembled tQ hear. 
 Such the Morning Oraifons fhe us’d to repeat, 
 
 Since the Bead-roll of Aves were grown obfolete. 
 
 She began with great Jove, whom fhe curs’d for his 
 Spleen, 
 
 Fiere to fix her Abode, and not make her Vice-Queen: 
 And fhe curs’d him again for his Meannefs of Spirit, 
 Who aflign’d her a Penfion far fhortofher Merit. 
 
 Then, 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 the greateft Beauties in their poetical Ver. 178. Who affixn'd her a PenCm 
 
 Compofitions: Some Examples of which si. M * er a renjio 
 
 he has evhihitpd in iP ..... 1 T 
 
 r -- WillLIl 
 
 he has exhibited in the old Runick Lan¬ 
 guage. Since the refining of the Englijh 
 Tongue, the lame Thing hath been pracli- 
 fed by our beft Poets, and is thought to 
 add no fmall Harmony to their Numbers. 
 Eu.rpyias qualis. 
 
 Like the Voice of a Fury. Tir-Oen 
 informs us, that the Sorcerels Myra had 
 an harlh, hoarfe, hollow Voice, fuch as 
 exadly refembled the Voice of her Siller- 
 vv itches in Mackbeth . 
 
 Expugnatur Ave. 
 
 The Poet here infinuates, that Myra 
 
 &c. 
 
 Divitiarum cui affatim, 
 
 Parca manu annuatim 
 
 Libras dat. Quid tricentence ? 
 
 Parva merces tali lence. 
 
 We are told by Tir-Oen, thatnotwitl 
 Itanding the Sorcerefs was polTelled of 
 Kent Charge of 1 zoo l. per annum, ft 
 had the Addrefs to procure a yearly Per 
 fion of 300 /. — The unequal Diftribi 
 tion of Royal Favours mult furprife 
 Man who does not give himfelf Leiftn 
 to reflea, that a great Prince cannot poi 
 iibly be acquainted with the real Circum 
 l ances of all thofe Perfons, who receiv 
 his Bounty: Otherwife it could no 
 
 happer 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 103 
 
 Then, becaufe at Threefcore file was out of her Prime, 
 And her Trefles were hoary, fhe curs’d Father Time. 180 
 Ought her Head-, like Mount TEtnd$) be cover’d with 
 Snow, 
 
 While fhe feels the fierce Flames, which confume her. 
 
 below ? 
 
 Then {he curs’d her next Kin, who refus’d to abjure ., 
 And theufelds old Matrons, untaught to procure. 184 
 All the Bankers {he curs’dfor they weigh foreign Gold: 
 And fhe curs’d the poor Players; — for their Houie is too 
 
 old, 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 happen, that any Part of the Revenue of 
 fo poor a Country fhould be applied to 
 fupport the Pride and Luxury of fuch a 
 Creature. 
 
 Ver. 181. Ought her Head , like Mount 
 iEtna 9 s &c. 
 
 Capitis dum nives rides, 
 
 JEtnce pol cacumen vides, 
 
 Tunc, cum nullae juvent artes: 
 
 At at, infra quae funt, partes, 
 Quibus feetor, fordes, fqualor, 
 Coquit vel JEuv^us calor. 
 
 The Tops of Mount /Etna are cover¬ 
 ed with Snow all the Yean 
 
 x 
 
 iEtn^us calor. 
 
 Sappho^ in her Epillle toPhaon tells him, 
 that her Love is as hot as the Fire of 
 iEtna . 
 
 Me calor /Etnao non minor igne coquit. 
 
 Ovid, 
 
 Since the Days of Sappho , this Expref- 
 fion hath been familiarly ufed by ail Tri- 
 bads. 
 
 Ver. 185. All the Bankers &c. 
 
 And Jhe curs'd the poor Players ; 
 
 &c. 
 
 Argentarios, & Daniftas ; 
 Hiftriones, iftos, iftas : 
 
 Argentarii exa-minant 
 Nummos aureos, & tru-tinant. 
 Hiftriones — faciunt quoniam, 
 Ubifolent, hiftrioniam.. 
 
 All foreign Coins (and there are fcarce 
 any other) are received in Ireland accord¬ 
 ing to their Weight. 
 
 At that Time, the old Theatre was 
 (landing. ButanewPlay-Houfehath fince 
 been built in Dublin , under the Direction 
 of that wife and honejl Architect, who 
 built the new Parliament Houfei In the 
 latter, you cannot hear, and in the new 
 Theatre you can neither hear nor fee. 
 
 3 Then. 
 
104 Fhe T O A S T# Book TXT. 
 
 Then fhe curs’d from her Soul, fmce her Luck was fo ill, 
 Ace of Hearts, and Groom Porter, and odious Quadrille; 
 All the Duns, who want Manners, or Patience to wait; 
 
 All the Rich, who pafs by, and the Poor at her Gate; 190 
 Little Priefts, and great Prelates, who fix the Church- 
 
 Pales, 
 
 From the Red-Hats of Rome , to the Fidlers of Wales ; 
 All the Belles of this I fie, who abhor the French Mode; 
 And the Bards, who addrefs an old Witch in an Ode. 
 Next, the Morning fhe curs’d, ’twas fo hot and lb 
 light 5 195 
 
 (If the Sun had been fet, fhe had then curs’d the Night) 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 193. All the Belles of this ljle 8tc. 
 
 Execratur jam pulchellis 
 Furias invocans puellis, 
 
 Quse nec Gallicarum mores 
 Colunt, fuco nec colores \ 
 
 Mentiuntur. Tu adores. j 
 
 Myra firft taught the Irijh Ladies the 
 Ufe of French Wafhes, Paint, &c. She 
 allured them, that in all polite Courts, a 
 natural Beauty was looked upon as a ve¬ 
 ry ill-bred Woman. Is it any Wonder 
 that a Fiend fhould endeavour to fpoil the 
 feirell Part of God’s Creation ? 
 
 Ver. 194. And the Bards , who addrefs 
 
 &c. 
 
 Tunc devovit PoetiLlam> 
 
 Supplex qui rogayit illam* 
 Blandi-loquenjs vene-ficam, 
 Probam vocans & pudicam . 
 
 Myra here alludes to a famous Ode, 
 which was addrefled to her and fung a- 
 bout the Streets of Dublin , while Mr. 
 Scheffer was there. It was written by an 
 Englijh Gentleman, who had fuffered great¬ 
 ly in his Fortune by hejj Witchcrafts and 
 Subornations. As this Ode is now become 
 very fcarce, and was never before publilh- 
 ed from the Author’s own Copy, it will 
 not perhaps be unacceptable to the Reader 
 to fee it reprinted in the Appendix} es¬ 
 pecially, lince it ferves to illutf rate this 
 Part of the Poem, and is indeed an ex¬ 
 cellent Picture of the old Sorcerefs. 
 
 Little 
 
Bookin' The TOAST. 105 
 
 Little thinking Don Phoebus that Inftant was near her, 
 That the God, whom fhe thus was blafpheming, could 
 hear her. 
 
 Let us. honour the God, who to Mortals To kind, 
 Order’d all her vain Curfes be ftopt by the Wind! 200 
 And I fancy, fince now he hath mark’d her mad Airs, 
 He’ll enforce this Command, if fhe offers up Prayers. 
 
 Here fhe ceas’d for a while to unlock the Canteen : 
 Sure Relief! when loud Talk has created the Spleen. 
 Twas the Price fhe receiv’d for a Virgin betray’d, 205 
 Fill’d with Liquor ne&areous, true Eau de Barbade . ♦ 
 When, imbibing frefh Vigour, the Dame at a Sup 
 Had exhaufted the large aromatical Cup; 
 
 How her hollow Orbs redden’d, recruiting their Ire, 
 And her Breath from her drinking redoubled its Fire! 210 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 207. When imbibing frefh Vigour While Phillis is drinkings Love and Wine 
 
 in Alliance, 
 
 With Forces united, bid rejijllefs Defiance : 
 By the Touch of her Lips, the Winefparkies 
 higher. 
 
 And her Eyes by her drinking redouble their 
 Fire . 
 
 Her Cheeks glow the brighter recruiting 
 their Colour, &c. 
 
 At leaft, by making a clofe T ranflation of 
 thefe Verfes of Scheffer, I fell into a kind 
 When our Author wrote thefe Lines, of Parody on Lord Lanfdowris Song. ’Tis 
 I imagine he had juft read ( Phillis Drink - an eafy Tranfiticn from the Eyes to the 
 jng) in my Lord Lanfdown . Mouth, and from the Cheeks to the Eyes, 
 
 P Now 
 
 &c. 
 
 Verba, vires duplicat, cum 
 Largius citreum, aromat’cum 
 Poculum exhaurit Mira . 
 
 Anus jam crudefcit ira •, 
 Gculoique fcintillare, 
 Halitumque exudare 
 Ore gravem, iulphyreum 
 Sentit Phcebus. Ter ret Deum. 
 
I O 6 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Now flie fwells with new Matter, devoting whole 
 Nations/ 
 
 And the Caftle re-ecchoes her dire Imprecations. 
 
 But behold what a Change Love is pleas’d to perform ! 
 £Nor a Power lefs mighty, could quiet the Storm] 
 
 She has heard the foft rap. Lo! her Gallants appear: 
 Firft approaches majeftic the tall Grenadier. 216 
 All her Fury the Sight of fuch Manhood fupprefs’d; 
 And a train of loft Paffions re-enter her Breaft. 
 
 She embrac’d the great Soldier; (he meafur’d his Length; 
 Into Atftion fhe warm’d, and experienc’d his Strength: 
 Nor fb much had falfe Dahlah's Spoufe in his Locks: 2 21 
 Nor the Witch was more pleas’d, when fhe ftrove in the 
 Box. 
 
 Introduc’d in good Order, fucceed to the Fight 
 A Mechanic, a Courtier, a Collier, and Knight: 
 
 As 
 
 NOTES md OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 224. • — a Collier and Knight: 
 
 Et turn Aulicus, pedifleques, 
 Carbonarius Vol , & quis eques. 
 
 It leems, though Vol always railed at 
 the Sorcerels in Publick, and feconded 
 the Invectives of his Brother Mars , yet 
 he was wholly devoted to the old Dame, 
 and was employed by her in all her private 
 Pleafures and domeftic Negotiations. For 
 thisPurpofe, he went every Morning and 
 
 Evening 
 
 Ver. 216. Firft approaches majeftic 
 the tall Grenadier. &c. 
 
 Intrat Bombardomachides : 
 Quantus! Qualis! Frond fides. 
 Rabiem, logos, mores feros " 
 Vertit Priapeius Heros. 
 
 The Hiftory of Myra and her Grena¬ 
 dier is related before in the Note on Ver. 
 326. of the feeond Book. 
 
Book III The TOAST. 107 
 
 As he finifti’d to each fhe afligif d a new Day, 255 
 And, extolling his Labours, advanc’d a Week’s Pay. 
 Thus difmifs’d the Male Gallants, in-crawl’d her own Imp 
 In a fcaly fmall Body, contors’d like a Shrimp. 
 
 Jn a Rapture fhe ftroak’d it, and gave it the Teat, 
 
 By the Su&ion to raife fympathetical Heat. 230 
 Then by Hecate fhe fwore, jhz was fated with Men 5 
 Sung a wanton Sapphoic , and ftroak’d it agen; 
 
 ; And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Evening to receive her Commands, gene¬ 
 rally difguifed and muffled up in an old 
 Red Cloak and a Weather-beaten Wig. 
 Tho’ he was paft the Labour of a St-ion, 
 yet he was a very proper Introduflor. 
 Tir Oen concludes this Part of Vd’ s Cha¬ 
 racter in the following Words. Infidio - 
 fus ftmul ac impurijfimus ijie Viterator quo - 
 tidiana Mirae adulteria, meretriciam dif 
 £iplinam> domejlicum lenocinium , ac bgr~ 
 bar a veneficia multum adjuvabat. 
 PedifTeques 3 
 
 Signifies a Footman ; and the Poet here 
 defigns one Maccar 9 who had ferved the 
 Sorcerefs in that Quality. He was after¬ 
 wards a Mechanick in Dublin , and was 
 retained by Myra to fuborn Evidence 
 for the Purpofe of her Law Suits. T his 
 Fellow had like to have been hanged for 
 ravifhing an old Woman. See a further 
 Account of him in the Epiftle to Cadenus ; 
 and hereafter in the Addrefs to Ondillus or 
 Dill 
 
 By quis Eques , or the Knight, the 
 Poet means Sir Piercy or Cacus. 
 
 Ver. 229. — She gave it the Teat .. 
 Mammam Saga cui mammofa 
 Putrem dat. Libidinofa \ 
 
 Quce mammofa *, fit annofa . J 
 
 Ales at, cui mammam dat *1 
 
 Hsec annofa, quid fugat ? \ 
 
 Libi-dinetn. Ohe! Sat . J 
 
 [ muft own, that my Vcrfion of thefe 
 fix Lines, which I have comprifed in a 
 Verfeanda half, is very defe&ive, and 
 thct I have neither given the full Senfe, 
 nor entered into the Spirit of the Original. 
 Infome future Editions I may perhaps be 
 abh to perform better. 
 
 dies. This is the Name of Myra’s Imp, 
 who is likewrfe called AH and Al in other 
 Pats of our Author’s Work. 
 
 [t is allowed by Glanville and others, 
 who have written Jearnedly of Witches, 
 thst every Witch is attended by an Imp, 
 who is called her Familiar, and who af- 
 funes any Shape to do her Pleafure or 
 Service. As foon as the Imp approaches 
 her, the Witch immediately gives it the 
 Breaft. This is a Ceremony which muft 
 beconftantly obferved. Without it, all 
 her Spells and Incantations would be in-« 
 effectual. 
 
 Ver. 231. Then by Hecate fhe fwore* 
 
 •&c. 
 
 Longo ludo haud laflata, 
 
 Viris licet fatiata, 
 
 P 2 
 
 Jam 
 
T_7 
 
 108 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 And agen — And then thrice fhe ereded her Rod: 
 (For the Numbers in Magic muft always be odd.) 
 
 See the Force of her Spells mighty Circe s furpals, 235 
 And the Beldams, which made Apuleius an Afs! 
 
 See a Reptile transform’d to a Shape near the Human, 
 And the Imp, that erft enter’d, referable a Woman ! 
 Not a Woman — like thofe, which the Muffulmenufe, 
 
 Or the Grandees of Britain for Miftreffes chufe: 240 
 The indelible Mark, on her Forehead imprefs’d, 
 
 God’s Revenge, and old ShylocK s curs’d Lineage confefs’d; 
 
 With 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Jam per Hecaten jurabat; 
 
 Obfcoenaque jam cantabat, V 
 
 Lesbium carmen. Sic amabat.fi 
 
 Hecate was a Goddefs, the Daughter 
 of Night. She was skilful in Poifons and 
 Philtres. She poifoned her Father, and 
 married her Uncle. She was the Patronefs 
 of Witches, and prefided in all their Af- 
 femblies. In Shakefpeare's Macbeth , the 
 Figure and Office of this Goddefs are pro¬ 
 perly reprefented. 
 
 Myra , whenever fhe would be thought 
 to fpeak Truth, fwore by the Name of 
 her Miflrefs Hecate , whom fhe always 
 propofed as the beft Pattern for her own 
 Imitation. 
 
 Ver. 235.- Mighty Circ t'sfur- 
 
 pafs , &c. 
 
 Seu quas focios Ulyjjei , , 
 
 Seu quas formam Apulei (, 
 
 Mutant. Ml moxpetant. me hei! > 
 
 The Companions of XJlyJfes were chan¬ 
 ged into Swine by Circe , who was a pow¬ 
 erful Sorcerefs. She poifoned her Hus¬ 
 
 band the King of the Scythians : And was 
 the lewdeft Woman of her Age. There 
 is a great Analogy between the Actions 
 of. Circe and Scheffer's Myra.. 
 
 Formam Apulei; 
 
 Apuleius has given us the Relation of his 
 own Metamorphofis, and of all that hap¬ 
 pened to him under the Figure of an Afs. 
 ’Tis a witty and inftru&ive Story. He 
 borrowed the Plan of it from Lucian. 
 
 Ver.. 238. And the Imp , that erfi en¬ 
 ter'd &c. 
 
 Haec, Dasmonium quae intravit 
 Cubi-culum, Succuba fit. 
 
 Succuba h a Devil that affumes a Wo¬ 
 man’s Shin to lie with a Man, or to lie 
 with a Woman, when the hSt of Tri- 
 badifm is to be performed, as in this 
 Place. Succuba likewife fignifies any no¬ 
 torious Adultrefs. ’Tis a Word, which 
 is very properly applied to the Character 
 of Myra's Imp. 
 
 Ver. 241. The indelible Mark &c. 
 
 Lutea 
 
Book in. The T O A S T. 
 
 109 
 
 With the Locks of a Negrefs half mingled with Grey, 
 And a Carcafe ill-moulded of dirty Red Clay ; 
 
 Clammy, livid, cold Lips, with a crooked long Nofe; 245 
 And a Skin full of Spots from her Head to her Toes. 
 Nor a Daughter of Eve has a Body fo foul; 
 
 Nor has Envy herfelf fo envenom’d a Soul. 
 
 But to Myra moft dear l nor fo fair in her Sight, 
 
 Was AnaSihon or Cydno thus form’d for Delight :• 250 
 
 0 ma 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Lutea, ac incompo-fita, 
 
 Sicut Maura, eft crinita ; 
 
 a l Aevjc^i h. Signat earn 
 
 Dei ira : Frons Judceam . 
 
 Tct ‘X&Kyi 7TgAiJW Jg, 
 
 JV pis' poMpoi ft' 
 
 (Turpia haec, ridemus quae nos!) 
 
 *OAVf S' olz*70 TOU OLVXJLMq 
 roi y cvoH a vrotqSoiKet 
 
 E fat AHMHNAS2A AH. 
 
 Alt, Myra’s Imp, is here called De- 
 monajfa, which Tir- Oen imagines is a De¬ 
 rivative from Damon or Damonium, and 
 ia,ufed by Mr. Scheffer toexprefs the Qua¬ 
 lities of an Imp or Familiar . But I ra¬ 
 ther think, our Author borrowed this 
 Word from Lucian: For in his Dialogues 
 of the Courtefans, we find a Woman of 
 this Name, who had the fame uncouth 
 Appetites, and was exercifed in the fame 
 Manner, as Myra’s Imp is ufed in this 
 Place. I therefore chufeto refer this Ap¬ 
 pellation to the Aft of Tribadifm. 
 
 In this third Book, we meet with ma¬ 
 ny Greek Verfes. By thus blending the 
 Languages, our Author, it may be, con¬ 
 ceives, that he has added a greater Dig¬ 
 nity to his Work. 
 
 Yer. 248. Nor has Envy herfelf &c. 
 Olli mens Irrvidia qualis , 
 
 Qualis Mira , Ales tails. 
 
 See the Defcrip/ion of Envy in the fe- 
 cond Book of Ovid's Metamorphofis. 
 
 Ver. 249. But to Myra moft dear! &rc, 
 Miras vifa eft divina 
 Impuriflima Frokina: 
 
 Ecca nunc pumilio Al 
 Sal eft , tot a merum fal : 
 
 Quam nec Lesbides viciffent, 
 Neque toties potuiflent, 
 
 Dum tu Sappho , Suada fuades, 
 Praeftantiflimae Tri-bades, 
 Anafthone, feu, quae quid no- 
 viffet reftius, bella Cydno. 
 
 AnaSihon (or AnaSiorie) and Cydno, 
 were two of Sappho’s MiftrefTes. Ovid 
 has introduced her making a Sacrifice-of 
 thefe Ladies to Phaon . 
 
 Vilis Ana Si hone, Vilis mihi Candida Cydno ; 
 Non oculis grata eft Atthis ut ante meis y 
 Atque a lire cent urn : quas non fine crimine 
 
 mavi . 
 
 Sappfa 
 
 6 
 
no The TOAST. Book lit 
 
 0 ma Vie , ma Femme! What a Shape, and a Face! 
 Then impatient file rufti’d to a clofer Embrace. 
 
 Let the reft be untold !— And thus ever forbear, 
 
 Left thy Numbers, O Scheffer , offend the chafte Fair. 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sappho was a famous Tribade, as appears 
 by the Teftimonies of all the old Poets, 
 but particularly from that beautiful Ode 
 (addrefled to one of the Ladies, with whom 
 file was in Love) which Longinus has pre- 
 ferved, and which has ever been fo high¬ 
 ly efteemed by all the Critics. But tho’ 
 fhe had acquired fo much Glory by her 
 Verfes,as tobeftiled the Tenth Mufe, yet 
 fhe acknowledges, that her Love of the 
 Lesbian Women had deflroyed her Repu¬ 
 tation, 
 
 Hesbides in^famem qua me fecijiis amata. 
 
 As amorous and vicious as the Greeks 
 were, yet they accounted this a moft in¬ 
 famous Pafllon. And there feems to have 
 been a peculiar Aft of Juft ice in the Pu- 
 nifhment of Sappho , who killed herfelf at 
 laft for the Love of a Man. 
 
 Ver. 251. O ma Vie , &c. 
 
 O ma vie , 0 mon ame ! 
 
 O ma mie , ma chere Femme, 
 
 Utriufque oris decor 
 
 O quam urk meum jecur! 
 
 Tu tapanta mi; & fi me 
 
 Ames, To 7rxv A’v^p et/jii. 
 
 I muft here again confefs, that I have 
 not done my Author Juftice in my Ver- 
 fion of thefe Lines. The Truth is, I 
 could not find out a Manner of exprefting 
 the four laft Verfesin Englijh Metre with 
 a decent Propriety. 
 
 0 ma vie , &c. 
 
 The Sorcerefs generally faluted her Imp 
 in French , that (he might not be under- 
 flood by her Irijh Servants. 
 
 Tu tapanta mi ; 
 
 Tx 7rctv1oCj A Fa£lotum> or as we fay- 
 in Englijh , (he is all in all with her. Pe - 
 tronius calls Fortunata the Wife of Tri- 
 malchio , his Tapanta . 
 
 TO 7TCCV dvei/M. 
 
 That is, I am all Man. This Expreflion 
 is borrowed from Lucian , who in one of 
 his Dialogues introduces an impudent 
 Woman of Quality, who is there called 
 yvvvj Setviag ci\ and makes her ex¬ 
 plain herfelf in this Manner, *H yvcipn 
 xx y hn6v[A,let} xdi rxAAoc vroivloo 
 
 dvfyog isl fAQi - to zeoiv uv^ eifM, 
 
 I have all the Appetites and Defires of a 
 Man , I am all over Man . Tir-Oen ac¬ 
 quaints us, that the French Refugees, who 
 lived in Dublin , when Mr. Scheffer pub- 
 lifhed his Poem, gave Myra the Sir* name 
 or Title of Homeffe or Homaffe , quia tri~ 
 has diffamata fuit . 
 
 Ver. 252. Then impatientfhentfh'd&cc. 
 
 Let the reft be untold ! &c. 
 Corpus avide adfigit, 
 
 Et in furias ruit : viget 
 Flamma mutua. Al fubare, 
 
 Sed haud pondus tolerare, 
 Salientis. —•Semipagan* 
 
 Ohe 1 fat. Si amplius, *Ayc 6 v. 
 
 I have 
 
Ill 
 
 Book III. The TOAST. 
 
 And do thou, O my Clara, this Freedom excufe; 225 
 Since a Vengeance fo juft has created the Mufe; 
 
 Or a Paftion more noble. I hang out my Lights, 
 
 To dire<ft foreign Sailors in dreery long Nights: 
 
 I expofe to their Ken (and dear-bought was my Wit) 
 Both the Pools, which ingulph’d me, and Rocks, where 
 I fplit. 260 
 
 When a Pair of foul Tribads I rudely unveil, 
 
 ’Tis Charybdis I fhew you, ’tis Scylla s Dog-Tail. 
 
 Shall 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 I have likewife comprifed the Senfe of 
 thefe fix Verfes in one Line and a half, 
 for the fame Reafon which obliged me 
 to fhorten my Tranflationof the fix Verfes 
 which immediately precede them. 
 
 Ohe! fat. 
 
 Semipagan’ 
 
 i. e, O Semipagane Poeta, 
 
 Ver. 255. And do thou , O my Clara, 
 
 &c. 
 
 Injuriaeque noftrte gnara 
 Parce Vati, mea Clara. 
 Veri-dicos, fi non terfos, 
 
 Facit indignatio verfus. 
 
 Indignatio : fed & ratio : 
 
 Quippe vos commonefacio. 
 
 Qua folertia moli-minis. 
 
 Si quis exeat patrios fines, 
 (Hyeme quum navigatur) 
 Scopulos praetervehatur, 
 
 Ego olim queis illifus: 
 
 Arti noftrae nauta fifus 
 
 Etnunc aequor iterare, 
 
 Et incolumis tranare 
 Queat, quafi levis cortex, 
 
 Ubi vel exaeftuat vortex ; 
 
 Crebro quo & ipfe tortus, 
 Rapidoque fum abforptus. 
 
 Here again Mr. Scheffer makes an Apo¬ 
 logy for his Satire. Firft, he intimates, 
 that the great Injuries he had received from 
 Myra and her Aflbciates, had provoked 
 him to this Manner of Writing, and ought 
 to juftify him in the Opinion of all his 
 Friends. B ut immediately feeming to re¬ 
 coiled! bimfelf, he declares that he had a 
 more generous Defign in expofing the old 
 Sorcerefs, viz. That his Example might 
 warn others.to avoid the Rocks and Quick- 
 lands, where himfelf had fuffered Ship¬ 
 wreck. — If this were his principal View, 
 I am of Opinion, that his perfonal Satire 
 is not only excufable, but ought to entitle 
 him to publick Favour. 
 
 Ver. 262. 'Pis Charybdis 1 Jkew 
 you &c. 
 a 
 
 %i£uL*n m/rtuffra-in, 
 
 ausrrt. 
 
 . / M ,7 /ft? 
 
112 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Shall it therefore concern me, who blames or com- 
 mends ? 
 
 Friends to Virtue, I know, will be ever my Friends. 
 
 For 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Scylla is a dangerous Rock in the Straits 
 of Mejjina . The Poets feign, that Scyl- 
 la was the Daughter of Phorcus , and was 
 changed by Circe from the Navel down¬ 
 wards into a Company of barking Dogs, 
 at the Horror of which fhe caft-herfelf in¬ 
 to the Sea and was turned into a Rock. 
 Near this Rock is a dreadful Whirlpool 
 formerly called Charybdis , now Calo Fa - 
 ■ro. The Poets fay, that Charybdis was 
 once a paflionate lewd Woman, or as 
 Ruaus calls her,. meretrix voraciffwia , a 
 moji voracious Strumpet . The great He¬ 
 roes and Warriors of Antiquity, who 
 plundered all the reft of the World, were 
 plundered by her. She ftript even Hercu¬ 
 les , and took from him all his Cattle. For 
 this Fadt file was Thunder-ftruck by 
 Jupiter , ,and changed into this Abyfs. 
 Myra , who is more voracious, and hath 
 been guilty of as many Thefts and Rob¬ 
 beries as Charybdis , is very apprehenfive 
 that fhe (hall one Day fuffer the fame Fate. 
 And therefore, fhe is feized wiih a Panick, 
 whenever it thunders. The fine Defcrip- 
 tion of Charybdis in the third JEneid , is 
 judicioufly applied by Tir-Oen to Myra> 
 "when fhe is in the Heat of Adtiom 
 
 Imo barathri ter gurgite vajlos 
 Sorbet in abruptum fuff us y rurfufque per 
 auras 
 
 E rig it alter no s<> iff fidera verberat undd. 
 
 Scylla and Charybdis being fo near each 
 other, occafioned the Proverb 
 
 Incidit in Scyllam cupiens vitareCharybdin. 
 
 As we fay in Englifh , He leaps out of the 
 Frying-pan into the Fire . 
 
 Will. Burdon , a merry Companion, 
 who was lately Surgeon of the Dublin 
 Yatcht, paraphrafed it thus : 
 
 Helm alee ! no nearer fail , 
 
 Where the Monfler Harlots rule; 
 Lef you re bit by A\\y's Tail y 
 Or elfefink in Myra\f Pool . 
 
 Ver. 263. Shall it therefore &c. 
 
 ME A AO NT A A' EIH <t>IAEIN 
 KAI TOI2 ATA0OI2 OM1AE1N. 
 
 Nec infulfos pill facio, 
 
 Queisnec virtus, neque ratio. 
 
 Si quis noftras damnet artes, 
 Tranfeat & in Mirce parte$ 
 Triveneficae *, nigelte 
 Seu qui moechus fit matellae ; 
 
 Illi bellum jam denuntio. 
 
 Sit Milordus , feu homuncio. 
 
 Sit Curculio , feu Hortenfius , 
 
 Seu qui improbus impenftus. 
 
 Curculio was a Bully and a Parafite. 
 He was one of thofe Criticks who cenfured 
 our Author, tho’ he could not read a Line 
 in the whole Poem. After the firft Vo¬ 
 lume was publifhed, he threatned the 
 Book feller, and fought with fome of the 
 Hawkers. Mr. Scheffer hath been blamed 
 by fome of his Friends, and I think very 
 jjuftly, for taking any Notice of fuch an 
 infignificant Perfon: For the Man was of 
 the loweft Order of the Human Species, 
 and was in Truth rather an Objedt of Pity 
 than Satire. He was fed in the Family 
 of Myra's Imp, and was therefore obliged 
 to bark for his daily Bread. 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 113 
 
 For the reft— Let me view ’em with equal Regard, 265 
 
 Whether B-ps, or Bravos, who threaten the Bard : 
 
 For the vitiousand proud, whether Statefmen, or Fools; 
 Whether Myras old Gallants, or Dili's new Tools, 
 Whether Red -Coats, or Black-Coats, are all of one Sort j 
 
 And we lee in Curculio the Image of- 270 
 
 Now the God (and who doubts it ?) grown ftck of his 
 Station, 
 
 Paus’d a while — and then broke into this Exclamation 5 
 <c Could the Sins ofthylke People make "Jove thus fevere, 
 
 To unhallow the Land, and caufe Venom live here? 
 
 “ Who’d believe fuch a Creature from B -/ had 
 
 fprung ? 275 
 
 <c Or that this is the Myra , George Gr—ville hg.th fung ? 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 —— In Mira: partes 
 Triveneficse. 
 
 Trivenefica f:gnidtsa.great Sorcerefs. This 
 Word is to be found in Plautus. 
 
 -Nigellas 
 
 Seu qui moechus fit matellae ? 
 
 That is, IVhoever is a Gallant to the little 
 
 black Imp . 
 
 Matella is properly a Chamber-Pot. 
 But in Petromus 5 itfgnifies a little lewd 
 Woman. It is uled here in the fame 
 
 Scnfe. 
 
 Yer. 273. Could the Sins &c* 
 
 Sic a populo peccatur ? 
 
 Sic a Jove violatur 
 
 Iracundo, alienis 
 Calens infula venenis ? 
 
 Talem quis putaret bello 
 
 Natam efle B - denello ? 
 
 An hasc ilia Mira ? an vil- 
 is hasc, quam canebat Gr—ville ? 
 
 ’Tis a thing well known, that no poi- 
 fonous Animal can breathe in Ireland : 
 Wherefore, our Author imputes it to the 
 Wrath of the Gods, that Myra had been 
 permitted to live fo long in Dublin. 
 
 Natam efle B - denello ? 
 
 The Sorcerefs was defcended from a noble 
 Family in the Ifle of Britain, but fhe was 
 difowned by all her Relations, who were 
 Perfons of Probity and Virtue, and had a 
 juft regard for the Honour of their Houfe. 
 
 ' As 
 
x i^. The T o A S T. Book III. 
 
 As he fpake, to the Weftward he hied him away ; 
 Left beyond the due Bounds he fhould lengthen the Day. 
 But his Steeds knew their Work ; and To fwift was their 
 
 Motion, 
 
 That exa<ft to a Minute they plung’d in the Ocean. 280 
 Here faluting fair "Thetis , he funk in her Lap; 
 
 And, to ad without Paflion, he took a ftiort Nap. 
 
 For whenever he cenfures, he makes it a Rule, 
 
 That his Fancy be warm, but his Judgment be cool. 
 Then diftin&ly conftd’ring all Matters as predid, 285 
 He commanded his Heralds to publifh this Edid. 
 
 Forasmuch as George G — ville, forgetting his Duty, 
 Has impos’d a foul Creature on me for a Beauty; 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 277. As he fpake to the Weft- 
 ward &c. 
 
 Dixit: & citato axe 
 Yiam pervolat, ne haecce 
 Longior dies imputetuty 
 Si diutius hie moretuiv 
 Currus properat: equorum 
 Fervet opus anhelorum. 
 
 Sextavix praeteriit, (euge!) 
 
 Gum in mare quadrijugi. 
 
 Xa“f£ Thetil belle fitum 
 Implet gremium. Tuncdormitum; 
 
 Thetis, the Goddefs of the Ocean, was 
 the favourite Miftrefsof the Surr, and, as 
 the old Poets inform us, he flept every 
 Night in her Bofom. Thetis was charm¬ 
 ing both in her Perfon and Manners, and 
 
 yet his Godfhip’s Conftancy is much to be 
 admired. 
 
 Yer. 2.87. Forasmuch as , &c. 
 Cum egregie impo-fuit 
 Nobis G—ville ; cumque duit 
 Formam, gratiam virgi-neam 
 Turpi Sagae: freeggeppe Deam! 
 
 i. e. Putat ejfi deam ! 
 
 basggepne, or Haegtrre is a Saxon 
 Word, andfignifiesaWitch, or a wicked, 
 deformed, old Woman. From hence is 
 derived the Englijh Hag. In the Dutch 
 Edition ’tis fjiocfelfc Deam. Hackle is 
 Dutch , and is the fame with Haggere. 
 
 By the Way, I muft obferve, that the. 
 Charge which is brought here againtt my 
 
 Ld. L, 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 11 $ 
 
 And befpoke me fo fair, that I taught him my Trade, 
 And, as oft as he fung, ne’er refus’d him my Aid : 290 
 And whereas modern Lays (to my Sorrow) difcover, 
 
 That the blinded: of all is the Rhythmical Lover, 
 Who implores my Afliftance, unfeemly to laud 
 Or the crooked Coquet, or the Quality-Bawd: 
 
 Now, for better preventing fuch heinous Abufes, 295 
 I the Lord of Parnafs (with Advice of the Mufes ) 
 
 Make it known to all People, both Commons and Peers, 
 From the Writers of Epic to low Sonneteers; 
 
 That hereafter no Bard, on Pretence he’s in Diftrefs, 
 Shall prefume on his Judgment, and chufe his own 
 
 Miftreis; 3 00 
 
 Or invoke mortal Females of any Degree, 
 
 Who have not been approv’d by the Graces , and me. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ld. L. is very unjuft, and occafioned the 
 Expoftulation of Venus in the fourth 
 Book. Ld. L. wrote in Praife of Myra , 
 when {he was young, and when perhaps 
 {he might be allowed to pafs for a Toaft. 
 Though, if you allow what Sir Mars 
 fays of her Ver. 15 0 . Book II. (he never 
 was handfome. But be this as it will, I 
 am convinced if Ld. L. had feen her in 
 the Days of Scheffer , and had remark¬ 
 ed her Aflions and Converfation, he had 
 probably treated her with as little Com- 
 plaifance, as our Poet has done. 
 
 Ver. 294. Or the crooked Coquet &c. 
 Sive curvam Aleniffam , 
 
 Sive lenam Comitiffam &c. 
 
 The Latin Commentators are not agreed 
 about the Meaning and Etymology of Ale- 
 niffa . Mr. Cuper derives this Word from 
 Ales, five quod nigra: Aliti fimillima (as 
 black as a Crow) Sive quod mala lingua 
 uxorcula , & pica pulvinaris . IVetJlein 
 
 derives it from Alec or Halec , an Her¬ 
 ring or Sprat, quia mulier foetida , fcf in 
 pijcem definens. But I rather agree with 
 Tir-Oen , who is of Opinion, that Ale - 
 niffa is not a proper Name, but is a Word 
 invented by Mr. Scheffer to iignify a little 
 prattling wanton Woman, qua a lend 
 Jlat , five qua a lend Jecunda , an Aflociate 
 or Adiflant to the Comitiffa . I have 
 therefore rendred it in Englijh a Coquet . 
 
 
 And 
 
n 6 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 —** 'X. 
 
 And whereas wicked Myra hath brought me to fhame ; 
 I command the faid G-ville to rafe out her Name, 
 And the beautiful Clara infert in her Place, 305 
 
 Or the bright Patronefs of the Oxford Borlace. 
 
 And whereas, maugre all the old Creature’s Difguifes, 
 I difcern her true Form, and unnatural Vices; 
 
 ’Tis my Will, lince to wayward Amours the s inclin’d. 
 She be only permitted to mix with her Kind : 310 
 
 Tho’ the Fates to an Hundred fhould lengthen her 
 Span, 
 
 Let the Matron no more be comprefs’d by a Man. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 305. And the beautiful Clara &c. 
 Or the bright Patronefs &c. 
 
 Et in locum (locus detur) 
 
 .Mira jam inauguretur 
 Clara , decus Grenovici ; 
 
 Seu Borlacii amat dici 
 Quae patrona Oxonienfis. 
 
 Quid tu de liturd cenfes ? 
 
 Clara , deeus &c. 
 
 We find this Name mentioned in three 
 Places, and always with great Refpect. 
 This Lady was much admired by our 
 Author, and well deferved the Character 
 which he has given her. 
 
 Seu Borlacii . 
 
 The Borlace, is an Anniverfary Meet¬ 
 ing of feveral Noblemen and Gentle¬ 
 men in Oxford , on the eighteenth of Au- 
 gujl* Among other Cuftoms, they chufe 
 
 a Toaft Paramount, who is called the 
 Lady Patronefs of the High Borlace . 
 This is reckoned a great Honour, and is 
 always conferred by Balloting. 
 
 The laft Verfe is an Apoftrophe to the 
 Reader. 
 
 Ver.. 112* Let the Matron no ?nore 
 &c. 
 
 Nec matronam tangat Tyro •, 
 
 Nec cui fit conjun&a viro. 
 
 This Interdiction was the Caufe of that 
 famous Metamorphofis, which the Poet 
 has exhibited to us in the Beginning of the 
 fourth Book. We read that the Empe¬ 
 ror Caligula ufed the fame Kind of Cru¬ 
 elty to his Wife Paulina. Miffarn fecit 
 inter ditto cujufquam in perpetuum coitu. 
 
 Tir-Oen remarks, that Tyro is a Word 
 v<5ry properly ufed in this Place- for the 
 Sorcerefs was extremely fond of young 
 Soldiers, 
 
 And 
 
 1 
 
"7 
 
 Book III. The TOAST. 
 
 And whereas I forefee, that a Mind fo impure 
 Will incite the decrepit old Dame to procure ; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 314. Will incite &c. 
 
 Haud nequitiae modum fuae 
 fEtas ponet. Melli-fluas 
 Cantilena, lenas mores, 
 
 Seu veneficae labores ; 
 
 Seu pudicam fi mentita, 
 
 Artis aulicae perita &c. 
 
 This Predidion was fulfilled to a Tittle ; 
 and all the Commentators have been very- 
 copious in their Obfer vat ions on this Place. 
 
 Jam Anus Mira Dublinenfium meretri- 
 cularum mater appellata eft. Namque ar¬ 
 il preefuit meretricice, adultafque puellas 
 in ea infituensperegrinis iff hofpitibus, qui 
 femet ipfarn ob maturas rugas tangere note - 
 bant, pro fe fubjlitit . Tir Oen. Myra, 
 when Jhe grew old, was called the Mother 
 of the Dublin Court efans. For (he injlrutt - 
 ed great Girls in the Arts of Harlotry : 
 And Jhe had always a Number of them 
 ready, to fubjlitute in her <nvn Room for the 
 Service of Foreigners, and for fuch of her 
 Guefs as were too delicate to be fatisfied 
 with the Perfon of an old Woman . 
 
 Mr. Cuper has applied to Myra thefe 
 Lines of Claudian . 
 
 b Juvenumflammis Coritanica Mira 
 E gemino ditata mari, dum ferta refundit 
 Canities, dum turba procax, noftifquerecedit 
 Ambitus, IA raro pulfatur janua tattu-, 
 
 Stat tamen, atque alias Juccingit lend mi - 
 nijlras ; 
 
 Dileftumque diu quamvis longceva lupanar 
 Circuit, & retinet mores, quos perdidit atas . 
 
 Myra, long practis'd in the Harlots Wiles, 
 Had drain'd theYouth of both the Britifh IJlcs. 
 But now unable to afford Delight, 
 
 To charm the Stranger, or to fell a Night, 
 
 * Gofodifnikttrervska, is a Polifh Word of the fame 
 Latin+ 
 
 She trains up Dublin Nymphs for publick 
 Vfe ; 
 
 And/lands confeji the Mother of the Stews 5 
 Feeding her Paffions thus Jhe fates her Rage y 
 And fpite of Wrinkles, Jhe enjoys her Age. 
 
 Wetfein compares old Myra to the 
 Mule (which is mentioned by Plutarch) 
 that always walked before the Chariots 
 and other Wheel Carriages, in order to in- 
 firud and encourage the Beads who drew 
 them. For which Reafon, it was order¬ 
 ed by the Government of Athens, that this 
 Mule fhould be maintained at the publick 
 Expence. The fame Commentator is of 
 Opinion, that Myra's Penlion was ob¬ 
 tained and continued to her through lb* 
 many Reigns, for the great Services which 
 fhe rendered the Publick in that Quality, 
 which Apollo has here condemned. 
 
 . But after all, there is nothing which 
 gives us fo juft a Charader of this wicked 
 old Woman, and fo exad an Account of 
 her Adions and Inclinations, when fhe 
 was bending under the Grand Climade- 
 rick, as a Letter from Mr. Scheffer him- 
 felf. This Letter, which has fince been 
 printed in Motraye's Anecdotes, was writ¬ 
 ten in the Year 1729 to a Polijh Noble¬ 
 man in the Train of King Stanifaus atr 
 Chambord. It feems the Polander , about 
 forty Years before, had met our Myra in 
 Dido's Cave near the Spaw, and knowing 
 that Mr. Scheffer was now in Dublin , lie 
 was curious enough to make fome Enqui¬ 
 ries about her. The whole Letter is too 
 long to be inferted; but the following Part 
 of it will ferve for a Comment on thofe 
 Verfes which are here quoted. 
 
 La Comteffe * Gofpodifnikurewska fe 
 
 Signification with Mayti. relle in French, or Lena in 
 
 mioit 
 
ix3 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 By the Force of her Spells, with a forward Court 
 
 Air, 3*5 
 
 And the Semblance of Virtue to ruin the Fair. 
 
 By a fpecial Grace mov’d, I enjoin and command 
 You the Tutelar Gods, who bear Sway in that Land, 
 All her Actions to watch, all her Witchcrafts to crofs, 
 And to fave other Nymphs, as ye fav’d Lady R-Jfe. 3 20 
 Thus APOLLO decreed— When to flop further Fury, 
 Who fhould enter the Clofet but little Mer-cury. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 voioit toute delabree, quand elle cotfultoit 
 fon miroir. Elle fentoit encore les fkmmes 
 de Vimpurete. Elle fe plaignoit d avoir 
 touted les envies lafcives de la Jcuneffe ) dans 
 un corps prefque decrepit . Cela etoit fort 
 facheux. And then reciting the \arious 
 Stratagems which Myra ufed to e.ifnare 
 the Irijh Virgins, Mr. Scheffer concludes 
 his Epiftle with this Reflection. Sa pro - 
 Jlitution etoit moins pernicieufe que fon ma - 
 querellage. 
 
 Ver. 319. All her Aftians &c. 
 Quicquid lena meditatur, 
 
 Nuptias malas li moliatur 
 Malefuada ; vos objices ; 
 
 Ne Tint nymphre meretrices. 
 
 Sagae fcelera arcete *, 
 
 Et acceflus prohibete : 
 
 Omnes virgines tuemini •, 
 
 Sicut olim (ipfe memini) 
 
 ReCte ex infidiis vos 
 Eripuiftis pulchram R-s . 
 
 Lady R-Jfe was a beautiful and a virtu¬ 
 ous Woman. The Snares, which :he old 
 ;§orceref$ had laid to entrap her, the Cou¬ 
 
 rage and Refolution of the latter in break¬ 
 ing through them at a very critical Jun¬ 
 cture, and her Efcape out of Myra’ s Circle, 
 are Anecdotes, of which no body is igno¬ 
 rant, who has lived any Time in Dublin . 
 
 Tir-Oen here obfervesvery judicioufly, 
 that it was not difficult for Apollo to pre¬ 
 dict old Myra’s Maquerellage , fince the 
 praCtifed this Trade long before this De¬ 
 cree was pronounced. Nova marita , ne- 
 que adhuc barbata y omnibus fui corporis copi- 
 am Mira ferity omnibus quoque copiam ef- 
 fecit adpuellas iff uxores alienas. Tir-Oen. 
 
 Ver. 322.- Little Mercury? 
 
 Quin de lena dum furebat, 
 
 Eccum fratrem, quern volebat > 
 Maia natum : turn gaudebat. J 
 
 Mercury was the Son of Jupiter and 
 Maia. He had Wings on his Feet, and 
 a golden Rod called Caduceus in his Hand. 
 He was the Meflenger of the Gods ; and 
 we find him making grievous Complaints 
 (in Lucian) that he was over employed, 
 and had not Time to take any Reft 
 either by Day or Night. 
 
 Here begins the Epifode of the Grid¬ 
 iron , 
 
 As 
 
Book III. ft TOAST. *113 
 
 Ken ye not the young Thief ?- But you’ll think my 
 
 Head wrong, 
 
 If without a new Patron I ling a new Song : 
 
 And 'Thalia confents, that inftead of a Fee + 3 2 5 
 I infcribe this quaint Epifode, Bocca , to thee: 
 
 That with Patience I fit, where the C-r dotes ; 
 
 Where the Regijler Lion fcowls over his Notes j 
 And prefiimes, tho’ unafk’d, his own Rules to report, 
 To inftrudt hoarfe Iocco, and biafs the Court. X 33° 
 
 NOTES and O B S E R VAT IONS. 
 
 Yer. %. 325. And Thalia confents , &c. 
 Te, quod optes, explorante, 
 
 Me Thalia adjuvante, 
 
 Eccos mitta aureorum 
 Verfus vice Philipporum 
 Tibi, Bocca , (fie in fatis) 
 
 Tui jWrV^uo'-o-uvov vatis. 
 
 Bocca, or Sol Bocca , an illiterate 
 Pleader. He was educated in a Cheefe- 
 monger’s Shop near Billinfgate , where he 
 learned his Oratory, and colle&ed all thofe 
 Flowers of Rhetorick, which he occafio- 
 nally throws out at the Irijh Bar, to fup- 
 ply the Want of Law and Argument. 
 In the 4th B. v. 38. our Author calls him 
 and his Brother Iocco (Io and Bo) in - 
 cult os Oratores . 
 
 Aureorum—— Philipporum, 
 
 Spani/h Piftoles, or fome other Gold 
 Coin of Spain . 
 
 MvvtpoTvw fignifies a Pledge or Token 
 fent to a Friend, by which we defire to 
 be remembred. 
 
 Quod me non movet afiimatione ; 
 
 Vn’um ejl y Mwporuvov mei Sodalis. 
 
 Catullus. 
 
 Ver. j. 327. That with Patience I fit. 
 Ut patienter, dum dormitat, 
 Atque magnas gerras citat 
 Magnus, gravis, vir primarius. 
 Quis eft ille ? Cancellarius. 
 
 Our Author means the Lord Chancel¬ 
 lor IV—ham . He was firft Chief Juftice 
 of the Common Pleas in Ireland ,, and 
 upon Mr. Wefi 's Death was made Chan¬ 
 cellor. 
 
 Ver. J. 328. Where the Regifter Li¬ 
 on, &V. 
 
 Ubi rogitabat nuper 1 
 
 Multa his & illis fuper i 
 
 Ifte leoninus C—r. j 
 
 Cunfta male notat: heu mos ! 1 
 
 Numos meos maluit fumos, > 
 
 'Mara maluit efle numos. J 
 
 Maluit, interjefto nodo •, 
 
 Maluit vel quocunque modo. 
 
 In this Place Mr. Scheffer cenfures 
 the Behaviour of a certain Officer of the 
 Court, where his Caufe was pleaded, who 
 was remarkably officious and partial in 
 giving his Opinion unafk’d, and contrary 
 to his Duty often prompted the Advocates, 
 that were engaged againft our Author. 
 
 * Q_ While 
 
# ii 4 The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 While Miracides gapes like an Idiot at ftool: 
 
 How unhappy the Bard, who contends with a Fool 1 
 See the Orator there in his Glory appear ! 
 
 See me tremble, great Bocca , to view thee fo near ! 
 
 Let the Stagy rite yield, when the Pleader difputes 5 + 335 
 And avaunt my black Hero, when Bocca computes! • 
 When he proves by his Brief (and the Problem is new) 
 
 'That a Dozen and ten will make Thirty and two. 
 
 Or, if ten from the Thirty and two you fubjlrafl: , £339 
 Nought remains. “ This, my Lord ., is a Jiate of the FaEt. 
 
 Then 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. +. 3 31. While Miracides gapes, 
 &c. 
 
 Ubi fedet cervicofus 
 Is Milordus odiofus j 
 Cui fuit faga mater, 
 
 Cui pol ignotus pater ; 
 
 Verba rhetorum inflatiV 
 Captat oris qui hiatu. 
 
 Stultum dixeris amantenr, 
 Stultum dixeris cacantem. 
 
 Nomen, Mufa, nunc illi des : 
 
 Sit a Mira Miracides! 
 
 Atiracidesvns the Son of Myra the Her¬ 
 maphrodite, ignoto patre, as is teftified 
 fey other Writers, as well as our Author. 
 After the Death of. his Mother, Miraci¬ 
 des profecuted the Suit againft Mr. 
 Scheffer. He was vain of his Title and 
 very covetous, with a very weak Under- 
 ftanding ; fo that he was eafily drawn into 
 the Confederacy by Cacus and My rah 
 Imp. 
 
 Ver. J. 335. Let the StagyritejvV/d, &c. 
 Tute ipfe major ifto 
 Eris, Bocca Sol , Arifto- 
 tele ; major Vol. nigerrimo, 
 
 Meo Vollo Vol facerrimo. 
 
 The Reader will obferve from thefe 
 Lines, that Vol is.to be underftood by the 
 Black Hero,. 
 
 ^ er - t- 337 - When he proves by his 
 Brief, &c. 
 
 Computat nam, lucri ne fim 
 Ipfe reus, modo fuo. 
 
 Decem fed & duo-decim 
 Facient-quot ? Triginta duo. 
 Decem li- deducas tota ~j 
 
 Summa, die, pars manet quota ? > 
 Ne gry quidem, nec Iota. J. 
 
 Dedi lie, quod erat dandum, 1 
 Ac quod erat demonftrandum, > 
 Demonftravi. O ! infandum ! j 
 
 How 
 
Book III. The TOAST. *n S 
 
 Then behold, how fagacious he points out the Flaws, 
 While his Figures and Tropes heavy hang on my Caufe ! 
 To fupply all Defeats, and develope the Truft , 
 
 How polite his Remarks, and his Reas’ning how juft ! 
 His Conclufton fo apt, it admits no Reply! % 345 
 For, my Lord, in a Word, the whole Deed is a Lie. 
 
 But alas ! if your Logic, O Bocca , fhould fail ye, • 
 
 And the Judge turn averfe ; Crier, call P-r D- 
 
 To expound the Knight's Will, and fupport the Imps 
 League, 
 
 Who, of all the uncoifpd, is fo fit as the Teague ?% 350 
 
 The 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 How abfurd and ridiculous foever thefe 
 Computations may appear to the Reader, 
 yet they were with great Warmth and 
 Pofitivenefs infilled on by Sol Bocca , in 
 the Courfe of his Pleadings, to invalidate 
 our Author’s Claim. I fhould not indeed 
 have believed the Orator had been in ear- 
 neft, if his Logical Reafoning had been 
 in any refpedt fuperior to his Arithmetical 
 Calculations. 
 
 Ver. %. 346. For, my Lord , in a Wcrd, 
 &c. 
 
 Verbo, magne cuftos, (tu no- 
 tafti omnia) dicam uno. 
 
 Nequid ineft pol Schefferi 
 A&. is, fadtis, padtis veri. 
 
 Ne quid adtis, fadtis, padtis ; 1 
 
 Ne quid fadtis, padtis, adtis ; i 
 Ne quid padtis, adtis, fadtis. J 
 
 The Poet in this Place gives us ah Ex¬ 
 ample of Bocca "s Scurrility, of which 
 
 other Suitors have frequently complained. 
 The three laft Verfes, Ne quid aft is, £sV. 
 where our Author rings the Changes, are 
 plainly intended to expofe the Pleader’s 
 tautological Manner of fpeaking, 
 
 Ver. f. 347- But alas,if your Logic , &c. 
 At fi errat parum cavens, 
 
 Adfis, O Tegee, favens ! 
 Repetatque praeco avens, 
 
 Adfis , O Tegee, favens ! 
 
 Quis ex venditariis hifce 
 Linguis foedus AleniJJ<e 
 Melius firmet ? quis, inventum 
 Mir re dolis, tefi amentum ? 
 
 The fecond Verfe, Adfis O Tegee fa¬ 
 vens, is borrowed from Virgil, Georg . 
 B, 1. v. 18. Tegeus , or Tegeacus is one of 
 the Nam^s of Pan, the God of Clowns, 
 and Shepherds. Pat\ was fo vain of his 
 Skill in Oratory and Mufic, that he con¬ 
 tended with Afotlo, and m the Judgment 
 *Q 2 of 
 
*fi6 The T O A S T\ Book III. 
 
 Hear Iocco, and Prime / chufe ye, Sirs, utrum horum ! 
 
 Arrha ! P-r is faft after coming before um. 
 
 Tho’ the Dean laughs afide, and Apollo detefts 
 'Teagues unmuiical Voice, and his wretched low Jells; 
 To the Force of his Brogue all his Brethren fubmit,j 355 
 And the Juries of Connaught have found him a Wit. 
 This Addrefs now fuffice: Nor repute it a Crime j 
 
 Since the Mufes can make my low Numbers fublime ; 
 
 Crown 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 ©f Midas excelled him ; for which Apollo 
 clapt on the Head of that foolifh Judge 
 a Pair of Afs’s Ears. I have tranflated 
 Tegee , Teague 5 and I know no other 
 Word, which can better exprefs my Au¬ 
 thor’s Meaning. 
 
 Fcedus Aleniflae, the Imp's League , 
 alludes to the PradKces of Myra's Imp, 
 after the Death of the Sorcerefs. By tef 
 tamentum the Poet means the Will of Sir 
 Mars , of which I have fpoken fufficiently 
 in other places. 
 
 Ver. t. 351. Heqr Iocco* and Prime, 
 &c. 
 
 Maximifque major qui or¬ 
 ator es, & Pritno prior. 
 
 Prior Primo ! quin* Iocco 
 Si jam Primus erit, hoc oh! 
 
 Arrha! alios oratores, 
 
 Pofteriores & priores, 
 
 Longe fequeris & praeis ; 1 
 
 Praeteris, feu ftas, fi-ve is. i 
 O quam bene Tege-e is ! j 
 
 Thefe five laft Verfes, Arrha! alios, &c. 
 are that Sort of Nonfenfe, which the 
 Irijh call a Bull, I have endeavoured to 
 imitate the Original in this Line* 
 
 Arrha ! P-r is fajl after coming before um. 
 I think the Provincial Criticks cannotr 
 juftly except againft my Tranflation. 
 
 Ver. J. 353. Tbo*tbeD* an laughs, See. 
 Ridet orationis genus 
 Amiciflimus Cadenus r 
 Ridet verba, quae mihi det 
 Cunque Petrus , Phoebus ridet- 
 Verum ifte nomenclator 
 Ex ConnaHid , &jurator 
 Laudant, Pet re, tuos fales, 
 
 Ha ! ha ! he! fefquipedales, 
 Tin&os ruftico lepore* 
 
 Tali dignos oratore. 
 
 Arnicijfimus Cadenus.'] Dr. Swift. See 
 the Note below, v. 367. 
 
 Verum ifle, fcrV.] This Teague-Pleader 
 feafoned all his Harangues with PunSj 
 Quibbles, Clenches, and Conundrums, 
 which got him the Reputation of a great 
 Wit among his Countrymen* in the Pro¬ 
 vince of Connaught . But there is lately 
 fprung up in Kerry a certain Attorney* 
 who in a late Trial of Skill, excelled. 
 Matter P -» ■ r in his own way. 
 
 Ver, 357.. 
 
Book III. The TOAST. *117 
 
 Crown with Ivy my Head, and a Monument raife, 
 Tho’ my Theme be defpis’d; tho’ an Infeft I praife, J 360 
 By Corruption produc’d, like a Mite, in old Cheefe, 
 
 Or exhal’d by thy Sun beams, 0 TV —y?, from foul Lees. 
 With Apoflrophes thus I repair my Negleds; 
 
 Thus I pay you, great Robemen, my grateful Refpe&s. 
 Ariojlo as oft his high Subject fufpends % 365 
 
 And deferts all his Heroes, to honour his Friends. 
 
 And 
 
 NOTES and O B S E RVAT IONS. 
 
 Ver. X . 3 57 .This Addrefs nowfuffice , &c. 
 Haec fat erunt. Parva feci 
 Tibi infaceta •, quse, fi 
 Velint Mufse, maximaque 
 Tibi faciant jucundaque. 
 
 This is imitated from Virgil , Eel. 3C. 
 Hac fat erity Div&, veftram cecinijfe 
 poetam 
 
 Pieridts. Vos bacfacietis maxima Gallo . 
 
 Ver. J. 361. By Corruption produc'd^ &c. 
 Seu ex putri cafeo fefe, 
 
 Seu popelli tu ex faece, 
 fVeJte, tu creafti virum 
 Impudentem, philargyrum,.. 
 Maledicum, lo lo-loqua- 
 cemque iftum Bo-Bo-Bocea. 
 
 Nothing moves our Indignation fo 
 much, as the Pride and Infolence of a 
 Man, who was bafely born, and who at 
 the fame time, he treats Gentlemen and 
 Scholars with ill Language, fhelters him- 
 felf in an Office of Power, or under a 
 Profeffion. I have faid before, that a 
 mean Defcent is no Reproach, andfhould 
 
 never be objected to a Man of Merit: But 
 to all the Boccas of the Age it may 
 ferve for a proper Monitory. 
 
 Wejle tud\ Mr. W- -y?, who was 
 
 formerly Chancellor of Ireland , intro¬ 
 duced this Pleader into Bufinefs. But 
 he was unacquainted with Bocca 9 s 
 Talents. For, Mr. W—Jl was a Man of 
 Modefty and Learning, and therefore he 
 would not, but thro’ a Mif-informa- 
 tion, have recommended an Orator, who 
 wanted both, 
 
 Ver. J. 365. Arioflo as oft , &c. 
 Stant, fteterunt loco, quo fto,. 
 Alii ; certe Ariojlo . 
 
 Arbjlo was a famous Italian Poet, the 
 Author of Orlando Furiofo ; in which 
 Work he frequently interrupts his Nar¬ 
 ration to make a Compliment to his Pa¬ 
 trons. Ariojlo 9 s Defcriptions are very 
 beautiful : But the Criticks object, that 
 his Digreffions are too affe&ed, and too 
 long ; and that he fays too much in his 
 own Perfon contrary to the Rules of an 
 Epic Poem. The fame Faults may per¬ 
 haps be imputed to our Author. 
 
*n 8 The TOAST. Book III 
 
 And a greater than he, learned Sirs, ye know, who 
 Left the Mufes and Phoebus , to wait upon you. 
 
 But, refuming my Tale, 
 While Apollo fat frowning, 
 
 NOTES and O B 
 
 Ver. t. 367. And a greater then he> &c. 
 Et noviftis, talia fi vos * 
 
 Meminifle juvet, qui vos, 
 
 Et quo *, tunc, cum rifit veftram 
 (Et aftores vos) orcheftram, 
 Linquens (ledtor, mihi credes ?) 
 Phoebi, ac Mufarum fedes. 
 
 Hie eft ille, qui (amavit 
 Nofmet tatnen) occupavit 
 Mufis haud inferiores, 
 
 Phoebo proximos, honores. 
 
 This is fpoken of Dr. Swift who at¬ 
 tended in the Court, while Mr. Schef¬ 
 fer's Caufe was pleading, to keep a 
 Stranger in Countenance; and perhaps, to 
 give a publick Teftimony of the Friend- 
 fhip, with which he honoured our Au¬ 
 thor. It was a Matter worthy of re¬ 
 mark, that the Prefence of this Gen¬ 
 tleman reftrained the Licentioufnefs of 
 the Irif) Pleaders* and awed them into 
 iuch a Decency of Behaviour, as the Au¬ 
 thority of the Lord C-r could never 
 
 before oblige them to obferve. 
 
 Bocca indeed, was not much difeon- 
 certed by the Dean’s Prefence, for he ut¬ 
 tered a great deal of Nonfenfe very flu¬ 
 ently, and loaded Mr. Scheffer with 
 perfonal Invedlives. Wherefore I think 
 our Author’s Refentment is gentle and 
 delicate enough, fince he hath no other- 
 wife revenged himfelf for the Infults, which 
 Bocca offered him, than by publishing 
 them to the World. I remember once to 
 have dined with this Pleader at the Table 
 of a Man of Quality in London , where 
 the Marquis de -a French Gentleman, 
 
 now again I begin, 
 young Hermes came in. 
 
 S E R VAT IONS. 
 
 a very good Judge of Men and Manners, 
 was prefent. Bocca entertained the Com¬ 
 pany with a Relation of his Travels in 
 Ireland , and acquainted us with the Fi= 
 gure he made in that Country. He allured 
 us, the Irijh Lawyers were the greateft 
 Lawyers in Europe , and modeftly infinu- 
 ated, that himfelf was the greateft Law¬ 
 yer in Ireland . Upon which the Marquis 
 laid to me in a low Voice, peut-etre qu'en 
 Irlandois ce Monfieur Bocca ejl fort fca - 
 vant & un grand perfonnage , mais en Ang- 
 lois cejl un grand Sot. 
 
 Ver. t. 369. But re fuming my Tale. Sec. 
 Illuc redi, quo coepifti. 1 
 
 Longe, Mufa, divortifti: t 
 
 Longe mores mi, ac ifti! J 
 
 I. E. Longe mores divortunt mihi , ac ijli. 
 
 Bocca’s Manners , and ?nine differ 
 greatly. 
 
 This Apojlrophe , or Addrefs to Bocca y 
 is not to be found in the firft Edition of 
 our Author’s Work. I believe the Inci¬ 
 dent, - which occafioned it, did not happen 
 till fome Years after the Poem was pub- 
 lifhed. The Addrefs to Ottor and 
 
 Iocco> in the beginning of the fecond 
 Book, is an Addition or Amendment of 
 the fame kind. All thefe Advocates (one 
 only excepted) who were engaged by the 
 old Sorcerefs againft Mr. Scheffer , ac¬ 
 ted in fo extraordinary a Manner, and 
 mingled fo much Malice in all their 
 Pleadings, that a Man, who was capable 
 of telling his own Story, could never pate 
 them by without a proper Animadverfion. 
 
 As’ 
 
ii 9 
 
 Book III. The TOAST. 
 
 As it happen’d, the Courier, fcarce ever at reft, 
 
 Had by 'Jovs been commanded to fettle the TVcjl j 
 To unite a Free-State, make the Prime Scientifick, 325 
 And to render a War-breathing Monarch pacifick. 
 
 For My thologifts fay, that this excellent God 
 Can incline all to Peace by the Touch of his Rod - y 
 Caufe a Fleet or an Army to ferve for a Shew, 
 
 And prevent the fierce Warriors from ftriking a Blow: 3 30 
 Or in cafe he permits the hot Youth to engage ; 
 
 ’Tis a Battle in Jeft, without Mixture of Rage: 
 
 As among the Train-Bands, not a Soldier fliall fall; 
 And the Fight, as at Mulberg, fhall end in a Balk 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 328. Can incline all to Peace &c. 
 
 Pacem terris Caduceus 
 Semper dat. Si volet Deus, 
 Noftra acies, & navalis 
 Gloria fiat Theatralis. 
 
 Si juventus militarit, 
 
 Pugnas ludicras pugnarit * 
 Placidofque rotans enfes, 
 
 Sicut cohors Londinenfis •, 
 
 Aut Angufti exer-citus 
 Comptus, fplendide veftitus, 
 Simulatis gaudens bellis, 
 
 Et idoneus mox puellis. 
 
 Mercury , by virtue of the Caduceus , 
 could flop all Strife and Contention, pre¬ 
 vent a War, that was juft ready to break 
 
 out, and in an Inftant reconcile the great- 
 eft Enemies. 
 
 Aut Augufti exer-citus. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer here means the Army cf 
 the late King Auguftus of Poland , which 
 was encamped at Mulberg in Saxony in 
 the Year 1727 or 1728, with no other 
 Defign but to fhew the Germans the 
 Magnificence of that Monarch, and to 
 entertain the Ladies with the Sight of fo 
 many fine Fellows. I have been told by 
 a Saxon , that the Balls and Entertain¬ 
 ments during, the ftiort Time of this En- 
 campment, coft more than 150,000 /. 
 I do not know, whether our Author does 
 not defign in this Place to tax the Vanity 
 of Auguftus . Mr, Scheffer was a true 
 Swede, and did not love the Germans** 
 
 Whem 
 
120 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 When the Nuncio had fped, and his Bus’nefs was 
 done; 335 
 
 He refolv’d, now fo near him, to Tup with the Sun. 
 They faluted, as Gods well defcended, well-bred : 
 How the Wit flew about! how polite all they laid! 
 One reported the Errand, on which he was Tent here, 
 And the other related his laft Night s Adventure. 340 
 Thety raillied her Gallant about the old Toast ; 
 
 And fhe vow’d, the Debauch made him look like a Ghoft. 
 Much delighted fhefeem’d (fora Goddefs may judge ill) 
 With the Warrior’s Mifhap, and the Tale of the Cudgel. 
 Tho’ I hate (quoth young Hermes) that Bully Sir 
 
 Mars \ 3+5 
 
 And would fain unteach Mortals all Knowledge of Wars: 
 
 Yet difgrac’d, and deferted, I pity my Foe • 
 
 . And we all fhould be touch’d, when a God falls fo low. 
 
 Had I known the Knight’s Body unfitly was made, 
 
 Of Materials fo courfe, fo unfuiting his Trade; 350 
 
 When he march d into Dick' s, I’d have mix’d in the 
 Crowd, 
 
 And enwrap d him, when Bellew approach’d, in a Cloud. 
 
 Better 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 ' er * 352 - And enwrap’d him , when 
 Bdlew &c. 
 
 Multo nebulae amidtu 
 Circum fundens, nullo idtu 
 Violandum. * * Sic tu. 
 
Book III. The TOAST. Tai 
 
 Better furnifh’d was Vol — from his Cradle accurft, 
 Ever confciousof Guilt, and prepar’d for the worft. 
 
 For the Moment our Smith-God had learnt his Diforrace, 
 From an old Plate of Copper he cut out a Face; 356 
 Made a Scull of call Iron, and lin’d it with Lead: 
 
 Nor a Bomb is fo heavy and hard, as his Head. 
 
 Then to me thus befeeching — “ Dear Hermes my 
 Child, 
 
 “ Since (how juftly, Heav’n knows) I again am exil’d, 360 
 “ And Mechanicks (hard Fate!) tho’ divine is their Birth, 
 “ Very rarely grow rich, or refpe&ed on Earth ; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 The Pagan Deities frequently fcreened 
 their favourite Heroes , and preferved them 
 from imminent Dangers, by .throwing 
 a Cloud about them, or (as we generally 
 exprefs it) by calling a Mift before the 
 Eyes of their Enemies. Thus Paris was 
 preferved by Venus , Iliad. 3. And thus 
 / Eneas was proteded by the fame Goddefs, 
 JEtieid . 1. However (fays Tir-Oen ) this 
 is not always a Condition to he envied. I 
 have known fome Heroes and other great 
 Men , who were very uneafy , while they 
 were under a Cloud . Nee heroas nec iffos 
 reges invideo nuhihus , nehulis , nehulonibus 
 drcu?nfufos prefjofque, &c, 
 
 Ver. 356. From an old Plate &c. 
 j£re faciem excuditque, 
 
 Ferreum fibi induitque 
 Caput fiber: quam pulchellum, 
 
 Si haberet cerebellum ! 
 
 .For this Reafon, while Vol was in the 
 Army, he was called the Copper Captain , 
 
 and fometimes Iron Head. The latter Is 
 a Title of great Diftindion, and was finpe 
 given by the Turks to the late King of 
 Sweden after the Adion at Bender . 
 
 Ver. 360. Since ( how juftly , Heav'n 
 knows ) &c. 
 
 Coelo rurfus me detrufit 
 
 Zw •, ne faber, promus neu fit > 
 
 Nec qui veftros curet focos ; 
 
 Nec qui vobis moveat jocos : 
 
 An hie rede, ipfe viderit. 
 
 Factum pofthac de me quid erit, 
 (Quoniam Bjoto/<t opi-fices 
 Cuncli fordent) melius dices. 
 
 I have remarked before, that Vol, when 
 he was an Infant, was kicked out of Hea¬ 
 ven for his Deformity. When he was 
 grown up he was banilhed for high Crimes 
 and Mi/demeanors. See Note Ver. 25. 
 Book I. He would here infinuate, that 
 his fecond Expulsion from the Seat of the 
 Gods, was as unjult as his firft. 
 
The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 “ To a Brother be gracious; thy Science reveal; 
 
 “ Tune my Voice to thy Notes, and inftrud me to Real. 
 Much I pitied the Kern; and to fcreen him from 
 Want, 3615 
 
 All my Craft I infus’d, and I taught him to cant; 
 
 How to bubble rich Bankers, and Senates deceive; 
 How to make a Retreat, when he ventured to thieve. 
 And fo faft he improv’d ; tho’ he feems a non fol\ 
 
 Not a Robber on Earth fares fo well, as old Vol: 370 
 Many Chefts of good Moidores are funk in his Hole; 
 And unenvy’d he keeps all the Treafure he Hole. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 364. Tune my Voice &c- 
 Vocem tua forma voce. 
 
 Mi mellille : Furta doce ; 
 
 Doce fratrem tuos mores, 
 
 Fraudes cundlas lucrofiores. 
 
 Mercury , who was the God of Elo¬ 
 quence, was likewife the God and Pro- 
 teftor of Thieves and Robbers. He was 
 himfelffoexpert in the Trade of Thieving, 
 that, when he was but an Infant, he 
 Hole Apollo's Bow and Arrows, Neptune's 
 Trident, Mars's Sword, and Vulcan's 
 Tongs. See Lucians Dialogues of the 
 
 Gods. - Monlieur Huet , in his Book 
 
 De la Demonjlration Evangelique , will 
 have Mercury and Mofes to be the fame 
 Perfon ; and lays, that the Pagans called 
 Mercury the God of Thieves, from what 
 they had read of Mofes , who inflrufted 
 his People to rob the /Egyptians. 
 
 Ver. 366. —and 1 taught him to cant. 
 z 
 
 Veterator verba dare, 
 
 Parler Narqucis, fcius fari. 
 
 Fur quascunque: qui novorum, 
 
 Et bhndorum fur verborum. 
 
 ^ All thefe Expreflions fignify the lame 
 T hing, viz. That Vtl had acquired a par¬ 
 ticular Cant very fuitable to his prefent 
 Undertaking. Fur verborum, isaPhrafe 
 ufed by Suetonius. 
 
 Tir- Oen obferves upon this Place, That 
 Mr. Scheffer has given us contradictory 
 Characters of V ?/ : That he lometimes 
 makes him an heavy ftupid Fellow, and 
 here he infinuates, that he was a Man of 
 Addrefs, a cunning old Fox, and a Shar¬ 
 per. But thefe Charaders are, in my O- 
 pinion, eafily reconciled. At leaf! I have 
 known many a cunning Fellow (as he 
 was called) that is, one who washable to 
 cheat all his Neighbours, and yet wanted, 
 common Senfe. 
 
 Donna 
 

 'I 
 
 Book III. The TOAST. 1.23 
 
 Donna "Thetis, admiring'how Vol got his Gold, 
 
 Here requefted fair Hermes the Scheme to unfold : 
 
 Nor fhe ask’d him in vain - For the wing-footed 
 
 Youth 375 
 
 Thu’S began with a Smile ; and his Tale was all Truth. 
 Many Figures and Changes poor Vol had effay’d ; 
 
 But was ever by fome Poetafter betray’d: 
 
 Till at length having travers’d the Globe all around, 
 
 He fele&ed a Spot of Unclaflical Ground. 380 
 
 * Such Ierne was then; till by Jove s high Command, 
 All the Mufes defcended to hallow the Land; 
 
 And a Genius arofe, with a Voice fo divine, To Apollo. 
 
 We imagin’d his Numbers were Clio 's or * Thine. 
 
 Here affuming a Title, and changing his Name, 385 
 Vol addrefs’d the good Viceroy, a Man of great Fame. 
 
 As 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Yer. 378. But was ever by fome Poe- 
 tafter &c. 
 
 Homerijlis temper no;us; 
 
 Aliis, fi plus fatis pctus. 
 
 Vol after his Banifhment from the Seat 
 of the Gods, vifited all the great Cities of 
 the Earth, and tried his Fortune in vari¬ 
 ous Shapes, fuch as he imagined would 
 belt anfwer his Purpofe. But notwith- 
 flanding all the Care he ufed to conceal 
 his Birth and Quality, yet he was con- 
 flantly difcovered by the Poets} even by 
 every one who had the leal Smattering of 
 Homer : For fo Homerijl'is notus is to be 
 
 explained. Vol thought himfelf very fe- 
 cure in Ireland , but the fame Fate pur- 
 fued him here. However, before this 
 happened, he had done his Bulinels, and 
 plundered the Country. 
 
 Ver. 3 8 3. — With a Voice fo divine , & c . 
 Ecquis ille ore Dio ? 
 
 Vidtam fefe dixit Clio ; > 
 
 Ego, Phoebus certe ’ft : fcio. | 
 
 Our Poet means Dr. Swift, the prefent 
 Dean of St. Patrick's, to whom he lias 
 infcribed his Work. 
 
 Ver. 385. Here affuming a Title Sec. 
 R 2 ' Et 
 
i 24 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 As the Heroes and Gods, he was honed and brave; 
 
 Yet alas! he prefer’d both the Coward.and Knave : 
 For the Man who fpeaks Truth, is inclin’d to believe ; 
 And a Fool, who can flatter, will often deceive. 390 
 Vol diffembled his State, and cajol’d the Grandee] 
 
 By pretending long Service at Land and at Sea; 
 
 That he fled into England , and fought at the Boyn> 
 And is now an Adept in all Species of Coin. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Et jam nomine mutato, 
 
 Titulifque decorato &c. 
 
 Tir-Oen informs us, That when Vol 
 was firjl appointed Vice-Treafurer, he took 
 a Name of one Syllable, that he might not 
 have too tnuch Trouble in /igning his Let¬ 
 ters, Accompts , &c. Vol Dublinenfis, 
 
 cum primum ghiaflor fatiusfit, nomen fibi 
 rnduit monofyllabum, ne plus opera ac la¬ 
 bor! s in objignandis epijlolis & numariis 
 rationibus nunc atque olim, &c. But the 
 Commentator adds, That Vol at the fame 
 time ajfumed many high founding Titles, 
 and Jome of an immoderate Length. Va¬ 
 ries autem fibi titulos indidit magnificos & 
 palyfyllabos ; nempeamabat did, Capitaneus, 
 Cotiflabularius , Pro-vice- Thefaurarius. 
 b. veil after his Bankruptcy, he difeovexed 
 the fame Vanity, and I find him deno¬ 
 minated from his feyeral Occupations, 
 Vitriarius, Archi-Carbonarius, Ale abuet ci¬ 
 der, Epicr-kos , Sic. 
 
 Ver. 38 y. As the Heroes and Gods &*c. 
 Quo nec videas juftiorem, 
 
 Armis, bello nec majorem. 
 
 At at murcos, multos ftultos, 
 t't ignavos, & incuitos 
 
 Heu ! airavit: federates 
 
 Heu ! ditavit, & ingratos. 
 
 The Poet hear means the D. of O. 
 who was VoFs Patron, and raifed him to 
 the Poft of Deputy-Treafurer. It mu ft 
 be allowed that the D. of O. had many 
 great and good Qualities, yet by a flrange 
 fatality, the moft worthless Fellows of 
 the Age in which he flourilhed, were en¬ 
 riched by his favour. ’Tis. no wonder, 
 that fuch Wretches fhould betray their 
 Benefactor. They would have fold him* 
 if he had been their God. 
 
 Ver * 393 - — an( lfought at the Boyn, 
 &c. 
 
 Et ad Boinam tunc pugnabam j 
 
 Pro Auriacoque ftabam. 
 
 Si.quid dederis, deinceps. 
 
 Pro te quoque, magpe Princeps.. 
 
 When Vol was introduced to the D. of 
 O. he recommended himfelfto his Favour* 
 by pretending He had ferved in King Wil¬ 
 liam's Army at the Battle of the Boyne. 
 
 P10 te quoque, i. e. Pro teflarem. 
 
 That 
 
I2 5 
 
 Book III The TOAST. 
 
 That he ever was firmly attach’d to his Grace; 395 
 
 As he Toon would perceive-if he gave him a Place. 
 
 So the good-natur’d Duke my Difciple advances, 
 Makes him Sur-intendant of the Royal Finances. 
 
 Now behold him look big at the Head of his Board, 
 With the Sneer ofa Courtier, and Train of a Lord; 400 
 But difdaining' like Men to grow rich by Degrees, 
 All his Craft well applying to multiply Fees : 
 
 Such a Craft, as to * * and me was unknown. 
 
 Let the Glory be Vol y s! for the Scheme was his own. 
 
 Thine, O Vol, be the Glory, and mine be the Bays! 
 While fo trimly I fing,. and thus eccho thy Praile. 406 
 Criticifing like Piercy ,, with.Tdeinful Regard, 
 
 Ne aread me a mean, unmechanical Bard : 
 
 Tho’ to arch the wide Dome, 1 perchance am unfit, 
 And diftafte the rough Works of Unclaflical Wit; 410 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Yer. 405. Tbine? 0 Vol, be the Glo- 
 ry , &c. 
 
 Singular!, joculari 
 Verfu tu A poll inart' 
 
 Laurea egomet donandus; 
 Quicquid cenfeat nunc mfandus, 
 Quicquid minitetur Perfeus , 
 lit e ingens heros tertius. 
 
 Here the Pcet interrupts Mercury ; and 
 addrefes himfelf in an Apojircphc to Vol. 
 Idefeems to have inferred thefe Verfes for 
 
 a Memento to Sir Piercy , who pretended* 
 to criticife our Author’s Works, of wtoch 
 I have taken Notice above, 
 
 Heros tertius. 
 
 Scheffer here fl iles Sir Piercy the third He¬ 
 ro. I take it for granted, that Mars , 
 Vol and Sir Piercy formed the T riumvirate: 
 And after the Departure of Sir Mars , his 
 Place was fupplied by Sir Cflcvs, of whom 
 hereafter* 
 
126 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Tho’ abhorring bafe Fraud, I have furely no Skill, 
 
 To fupplant the right Heir, or to frame a quaint Will ; 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 411. Tho 9 abhorring bafe Fraud , 
 
 &c. ^ 
 
 Nec aliensm teneo fedem ; 
 
 Nec hsereclem exhaeredem 
 Hasredipet’ ego feci, 
 
 Teftamenta didtans ; quae fi 
 Olim, haud impune. Tamen, 
 
 Si fim fraudis nefcius, amen 
 Amen, nati ut natorum, 
 
 Numeri fie numerorum 
 Hi veftrorum teftimonia, 
 
 Et prasconia funt idonea ; 
 
 Maxime idonea. Si gv 
 UgKTlziv dixis, vivant diu. 
 
 T o explain this Apoflrophe , it will be 
 neceflary to inform the Reader, that im¬ 
 mediately after the Death of Sir Mars 
 (for he really feemed to die, when he de¬ 
 parted from Ireland , having left behind 
 him his earthly Frame) a Will was pro¬ 
 duced, which was called Sir Mars's Will , 
 in which the Chevaliers Piercy and Cacus 
 were appointed Executors. Tir- Oen fays, 
 That the Sorcerefs Myra made this Will 
 for her oivn Betiefit , Venefica ifta fenem 
 captavit emolument fuo, & tefia/ftentum 
 Juppofuit; and indeed ithathfince appear¬ 
 ed, that file was to have thegreateft Share 
 of the Profits, if by any means (he could 
 contrive to make good the feveral Devifes. 
 Cuper , however, is not of Opinion, that 
 the Will was forged. He tells us, that 
 Sir Mars , whom he calls fenem bnprobum 
 & impurifimum , really figned this Will, 
 hoping by that means to entail a Law-fuit 
 on our Author, his next Heir and neareft 
 Relation, and to whom he owed infinite 
 Obligations. And fo far this wicked At¬ 
 tempt fucceeded, that Mr. Scheffer was 
 actually deprived of his Lands in Ireland , 
 which he did not claim by the Right of 
 
 Inheritance, but which he had really and 
 bond fide purchafed with his Money. For 
 when after the Death of Sir Mars , he 
 was in PofTeflion of this Eftate, it was 
 forced from him by a Troop of Banditti , 
 with Sir Piercy at their Head. See the 
 Note Ver . 17. Book II 0 And our Au¬ 
 thor, to recover his Right, was obliged 
 to profecute a long expenflve Law-fuit; 
 fo expenfive indeed, that he fpent more 
 Money than the whole Concern was after¬ 
 wards fold for. Mr. Wetfiein , in the Ac¬ 
 count he gives of this Will^ differs from 
 both the other Commentators. He does 
 not conceive, that the W ill was made af¬ 
 ter the Death of Sir Mars , nor does he 
 think the old Knight could be guilty of 
 fuch Inhumanity, as to contrive in his 
 laft Hours to do a fignal Injury to the 
 Man, who had given him his daily Bread 
 for many Years. He rather believes, the 
 Will was figned when Sir Mars was out 
 of his Senfes, and that the old Sorcerefs 
 conduced his Mind, though {he did not 
 conduit his Hand. This 1 find is the O- 
 pinion, which generally prevails in Dublin . 
 And our Author, I believe, means no 
 more when he inveighs againft the Iniqui¬ 
 ty of this Proceeding, and charges the 
 Sorcerefs and her Accomplices with For¬ 
 gery. For my Part, I cannot help think¬ 
 ing, that whoever will take the Advantage 
 of another’s want of Memory, and will 
 influence a weak Mind, and determine it 
 to any Acts of Oppreflion and Injuftice, 
 would make no Scruple to counterfeit a 
 Man’s Hand and Seal to ferve the fame 
 Purpofes. 
 
 If the Reader will be pleafed to confider 
 Mr. Scheffer's Injuries, he will be at no 
 Lofs to difcover the Motives of his Satire, 
 that Part of it efpecially, which isinter- 
 fperfed in the third, and fourth Books. 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 127 
 
 Yet, if aught fuch a Prophet as I can divine, 
 
 Long my Numbers fhall live, to be Records of thine. 
 Near the Bridge, where, high-mounted, the Biafs 
 
 Monarch rides, 4 r S 
 
 Looking down the rough Liffy , and marking the Tides; 
 Near the Dome, where great Publicans meet once a Day, 
 To collect Royal Impofts, and flop their own Pay ; 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 415. Near the Bridge , &c. 
 Prope pontem, Eleftori, 
 
 Fidei magno Defenfori, 
 
 Statua ubi confecratur 
 Bafileo •, contemplatur 
 Dum aheneus Rex immundas, 
 
 Ac Libnceas fecat undas : 
 
 Juxta Dom. ubi quaeftores. 
 Publicani fuperiores, 
 
 Nunc tributi leges figunt; 
 Veftigalia nunc exi-gunt, 
 Mercedefque fuas — Focus 
 (In feceflii longo locus) 
 
 Eft perennis. Ibi Dea 
 Cornucopiae Amalthea 
 Nobili, ignobilique,. 
 
 Ebrio, fobrio, tibi, mique 
 Indies miniftrat, bubulas 
 Parvo venditans o-fulas 
 Toftas, gratas •, Britannorum 
 Turba quas carnivororum, 
 
 Cibos fuos& agnofcunt, 
 
 Et in brevia. prandia pofcunt. 
 
 This is a Defcription of Set’s Hole in 
 Dublin , a famous Houfe fo called, which 
 is fituated between EJfex Bridge and the 
 Cuftom-Houfe. I am told that the Land¬ 
 lord of this Houfe has acquired a good fi¬ 
 nale by felling nothing but Beef-Steaks, 
 which he dreffesin the greateft Perfection. 
 
 He is a Man of fome Humour, and I have 
 frequently heard him repeat the Converfa- 
 tion he had with Vol , when the latter 
 carried off the Gridiron. He takes a par¬ 
 ticular Pleafure in fhewing Strangers the 
 Box in his Kitchen, where Vol dined on 
 that memorable Day. 
 
 Aheneus Rex. 
 
 He means the Equeftrian Statue of King 
 George the Firft, which Hands on EJfex 
 Bridge: But whether it be made of Brafs, 
 or of what other Metal, I do not know, 
 
 --- immundas 
 
 __fecat Libtueas undas. 
 
 The River Liffy is called by the old 
 Geographers, Bubinda , Libinius , and 
 Libnius. It is a rapid foul Stream, tyhich 
 runs through the City of Dublin. 
 
 Cornucopiae Amalthea. 
 
 Amalthea , was the Daughter of Meliffus 
 King of Crete , and the Nurfe of Jupiter^ 
 whom fhe fed with Goat s Milk and Ho¬ 
 ney. Jupiter , when he was grown up, 
 tranflated the Goat and her Kids into the 
 Sky, and gave one of her Horns to Amal¬ 
 thea , endued with this Property, that fhe 
 fhould be furnifhed with all Sorts of Pro- 
 vifion out of this Horn, and with what¬ 
 ever elfe fhe defired, 
 
 Fav 
 
128 The T o A S T. Book III. 
 
 Far within a Recefs, a large Cavern was made, 
 
 Which to Plenty is facred, the Place of Grilliade: 420 
 Here the Goddefs fupplies a Succefiion of Steaks, 
 
 To Mechanicks and Lordlings, old Saints and young 
 
 Rakes % 
 
 Here Carnivorous Kerns find a prefent Relief, 
 
 And the Britains with Glee recognize their own Beef. 
 By the tame of the Houfe, VqIiwv ited to dine, 425 
 (So the Fates had decreed it) here form’d the Defign 
 Of accompting his Treafure by Ferru initiation, 
 Unafiified by Figures, or Book-Calculation. 
 
 For the Collier, whofe Stomach incites him to look in 
 Jy Kitchen of Note, tp remark on the Cookino - 
 
 o’ 
 
 (Where 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 429. For the Collier, whofe Sto¬ 
 mach &c. 
 
 Lautas ccenas fi quis dat, , 
 
 Vel inju inis obit P ~ , ( 
 
 ^otat, vorat, vomit, nat, } 
 
 Neque fua officina 
 Sibi magis, qnam culina, 
 
 •Qi!® celebrior, nota. Parcit 
 Vol gulofus (pauper Mars felt ) 
 Nec dis daprbus parads, 
 
 Nec dis cadis deftinatis, 
 
 Vol was an eminent Glutton, and was 
 prefent at all great Feafts, whether pub- 
 hick or private, where he generally devour¬ 
 ed more than half a Dozen ordinary Mor¬ 
 tals. He dined fo frequently with his 
 other Mar's , that *the Expence of his 
 5 
 
 Table kept the great Hero always poor, 
 which is what our Author means by 
 Pauper Mars feit. 
 
 Vol was well skilled in the Art of Cook¬ 
 ery, and often drefled his own Dinners, as 
 (a little lower) he informs the Landlord of 
 Sol's Hole. Wetjlein will have it believed, 
 that V?l had learnt his Cookery in the 
 Army, where he was formerly a Sutler, 
 and never arrived to an higher Poft, tho’ 
 he has flnee, for fome political Reafons, 
 aflumed the Title of Captain. But I 
 fancy the Dutch Commentator has related 
 this upon Hearfay, and that it is a Calum¬ 
 ny invented by VoVs Enemies. For it is 
 certain, he was efteemed a moil excellent 
 Cook, even before his Fall; and Apulei - 
 //j tells us, that he drefled that magnificent 
 Supper, which was prepared for thegreat 
 
 Council 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 129 
 
 (Where the Glutton no Difh, that was dainty e’er fpar’d, 
 Tho’ to welcome a Vice-roy, the Feaft were prepar’d) 
 Here furvey’d with Attention the Grilling Utenlil; 
 Which he meafur’d, and sketch’d on a Card with his 
 Pencil. 
 
 Half a Rump he devoured, and drank off his Pot foie 5435 
 Then befpoke with a Leer the good Mafter of Sots Hole . 
 " Honeft Landlord, your Steaks were exceeding well 
 dreft : 
 
 “ Since I now know the Way, I’ll be often your Gueft. 
 t{ On the Faft-Days and Lord’s-Days, I’ll fend in my 
 Wine; 
 
 “ And I’ll bring you a Club of young Courtiers to 
 dine. 440 
 
 “ Many thanks to your Honour ! O ever depend 
 “ On a Treafurer’s Word ! But to bind me your Friend, 
 “ As a Token between us, I’ll take this Machine: 
 (Here he feiz’d a huge Gridir’n the Cook had made clean. 
 
 Nor 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Council of the Gods, to celebrate the 
 Nuptials of Pfyche. Volcanos c$e- 
 nam coquebat: HorarcfuIs cateris 
 floribus pur purab ant omnia : Gratiafparge- 
 bant balfama , &c. Apul. Met. Lib. VI. 
 
 Ver. 444. Here hefeiz’da huge Grid¬ 
 ir’n &c. 
 
 Injicitque magnse manus 
 Crati-culas, cum jam anus 
 Lixa multum exterfiflet; 
 Nobiliorena qua feciffet 
 Cyclops nec quis Liparcnfs ; 
 
 M# Sla, nec Binninghamenfes. 
 
 Cyclops Liparenfs. 
 
 S Lipari 
 
130 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Nor a nobler can Birmingham Artifts produce, - 445 
 Nor a Cyclops could forge one fo fit for his Ufe.) 
 
 “ For in Parliament Time, when to fix the Taxation, 
 Ci I prepare with great Labour the Debts of the Nation; 
 “ In the Hurry, if e’er I find Leifure to eat, 
 
 “ I’m oblig’d in my Office to cook my own Meat. 450 
 “ There I pay due Attendance both early and late! 
 
 “ There I dine upon Chops —for the good of the State! 
 sc But miftake me not, Friend: Be it far from my 
 Thought, 
 
 <c Or to beg, or to borrow the Goods you have bought: 
 u I ll refund the whole Sum this Utenfil firft coft: 455 
 “ To befriend me no Man ffiall complain he has loft. 
 Thus the Bargain concluded, the Money is paid; 
 
 To the Treafury Board the Gridiron’s convey’d : 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ltpare, or (as it is now called) Lipari Ver. 450.— to cook my own Meat 
 an I (land near Sicily, where Vol had for¬ 
 merly his chief Forge. Coenam, cibum ipfe coquo. 
 
 Birmingham is a Town in Britain , fa- Sed ex meis paucos voco. 
 mous for its Iron Works. 
 
 In the Dutch Edition, you have mag - 
 nas ?nanus , and JVetftcin infills, that it 
 was thus written in the Author’s Manu¬ 
 script. But I think thefe various Read¬ 
 ings are not of Confequence enough to re¬ 
 quire any particular Differtation. I am 
 much more follicitous to know where this 
 famous Gridipon is at prefent depofited. 
 
 I have faid before, that Vol underftood 
 the Art of Cookery. But this Manner 
 of dreffing Vi&uals in his Office, was a 
 particular Affe< 5 iation. He would appear 
 to be a Minifter of Importance, and over 
 diligent in his Bufmefs. By thefe means 
 likewife he concealed the true Ufe of his 
 Gridiron. 
 
 Upon 
 
 6 
 
Jj 
 
 Book III. The TOAST. \ 31 
 
 Upon which the Cafhier now incefiantly pours 
 All the Wealth of Ierne: defcend the rich Showers 460 
 From the Cup-boards, Scrutoirs, and the wide Canvafs 
 Bags, 
 
 From the long Leathern Purfes, and dirty coarfe Rags. 
 Here mifhapen thick Cobs, and odd Pieces of Gold, 
 (Once the hoard of a Mifer) grown fqualid and old, 
 
 And a few, which the Gods (tho’ their Faces were 
 new) 465 
 
 With a Virtue magnetick were pleas’d to endue, 
 
 That appearing felf-balanc’d remain’d on the Bars, 
 
 Vol afiign’d the good Queen for the Ufe of her Wars: 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 46c. —f Defcend the rich Showers . 
 Deciditque aureus imber 
 Sic concrdcens. Viderim ber- 
 ones, faccos, & fac-ulos, 
 
 Pelles, pannos, panni-culos 
 Semet ipfos invertentes, 
 
 Undique & expuentes 
 Nummos aureos, ac enormes, 
 
 Et Philippos mukifbrmes. 
 
 If we believe Tir-Oen , Vol always kept 
 the publick Cafh in a very carelefs Man¬ 
 ner. Sums of Money were left upon the 
 Table in his Office, and others were 
 ffrewed upon the Shelves. In one Corner 
 there was a Parcel tied up in an old dirty 
 Clout, and in another there lay three or 
 four old Gloves, fluffed with Gold Cobs 
 and Moiddres. We are told by the fame 
 Commentator, that this was an Inflance 
 
 of Vo? s political Craft, and that he hoped 
 by this pretended Negleft to leffen the 
 Sufpicion of a defigned Embezzlement, 
 and to induce a Belief, that inftead of rob* 
 bing the Treafury, he had himfelf been 
 robbed by his Clerks and Domefticks. 
 
 Ver. 468. Vol ajjigrtd the good Queen 
 &c. 
 
 JufTit Vol\ feribantur minas 
 Hae piiffimse Reginas. 
 
 77 r-Oen doubts, whether Vol began to 
 practife with the Gridiron fo early as in 
 the Days of Queen Anne. He rather i- 
 magines, that the Treafurer deferred this 
 Work till the Reign of her Succeffor, 
 when he might claim fome Merit for ha¬ 
 ving betrayed hisPatro^i, and for this and 
 fome other Reafons, have a Chance to ef- 
 cape with Impunity. 
 
 s 2 
 
 But 
 
132 The T O A S T. Book III. 
 
 But the Coins, that flipt thro’, he accounted mere Pelf; 
 Proper Perquifites thofe he allotted himfelf. 470. 
 
 Thus encrealing in Wealth, and advancing in Years, 
 He refolv’d to rife higher, and roll with the Peers: 
 
 When arriv’d a young Viceroy well skili’d in Greek Books, 
 Who difcover’d the Smith by his Leer, and ill Looks: 
 
 He 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 472. He refolv'd to rife higher , 
 &c. 
 
 Jam fenefcit — non eft fatis, y 
 Nifi novas dignitates V 
 
 Vol adjungat * atque gratis . J 
 
 *T is probable, that Vol would have been 
 created both a Peer and a Privy Counfel- 
 lor, if he could have maintained his 
 Ground in the Treafury a little longer. 
 He was fond of multiplying his Honours 
 without confidering his want of Merit. 
 Tho’ it muft be acknowledged (fays Tir- 
 Oen) that he was altogether as well qua¬ 
 lified for the Titles and Employments 
 which he wanted, as for thofe, which he 
 already poflefled. For Vol 9 when he was 
 in his Glory, was a Senator without 
 Speech, a Captain without Courage, a 
 * Doflor without Learning, an Accompt- 
 ant without Figures, a Treafurer with* 
 out Money, a Conffable without a Staff, 
 and a Husband without a Wife. After 
 his Bankruptcy, he had a Colliery with¬ 
 out Coals, and a Glafs-Houfe without 
 Fires. He was moreover a Sollicitor with¬ 
 out Law, a Farmer without Land, a 
 St-llion without Tools, and an Evi¬ 
 dence without Truth. 
 
 Vet. 473. When arriv'd a young 
 Viceroy &c. 
 
 At at venit. Quis ? Lcgatns 
 Graecas cal lens, cluens, catus ^ 
 
 * An Honorary Degree of DoSItr had keen conferred 
 
 Qui multorum vidit mores ; 
 
 Noftri notat qui Quaeftoris 
 Rem, ^'v, rifum, rufitum, ritftum, 
 Veftem, vultum, fritftum, fiftum : 
 Et— quot pondo caput: qui fur : 
 Quur non cerebellum trifur. 
 Quidninotet? cum vidiffet, 
 
 Vifum quoque perlegiflet 
 Apud L,emnum claudicantem, y 
 Juxta iEtnam laborantem, v 
 Hie & illic moechiffantem. j 
 
 The Poet feems to intend this as a Com¬ 
 pliment to the Viceroy, who had fo fre¬ 
 quently read the Hiftory of Vol 9 and the 
 Defcription of his Perfon and Offices in 
 Homer and other Greek Poets, that he 
 knew him at firft Sight. This Lieute¬ 
 nant was a Scholar, and a Man of Bufi- 
 nefs. See the Note, Ver. 229. Book I. 
 
 I muft beg my Reader’s Patience, if, 
 in endeavouring to explain this Paflage, 
 I enlarge my Note beyond the ufual 
 Bounds. Ever fince I firft began to tran¬ 
 slate this Poem, I have ftudied with, 
 uncommon Application, the Hiftory of 
 Mr. Scheffer'S Heroes, and I have now 
 collected out of the ClaJJicks a confiderable 
 Number of important Teftimonials con¬ 
 cerning the Lives and Adventures of thefe 
 great Perfonages. This elaborate Work 
 I propofe to drgeft into Chronological 
 Tables, and to publifh them as a proper. 
 Supplement to my Notes. Thefe will 
 
 on Vd by the Univerfity of Dublin* 
 
 exhibit 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 
 
 He had read him at Lemnos ycleped God Hop , 475 
 
 And remark’d him near JEtna at Work in his Shop: 
 
 / 
 
 He 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 exhibit at one View, all the memorable fame Perfon as he appears among us, and 
 
 AS ions of Sir Mars and Vol from the 
 Deftru&ion of Troy (about which Time 
 the molt learned among the Commenta¬ 
 tors date their Banilhment) to the Year 
 1730 of the Chrifiian Mr a. Upon Exa¬ 
 mination of thefe Tables, it will be per¬ 
 ceived, that there hath been little Varie¬ 
 ty in their Lives during the Space of ^ooo 
 Years and upwards ; that in other Coun¬ 
 tries, and other Ages of the World, they 
 generally followed the fame Profeffions 
 and Occupations, and acted the fame 
 Parts which they lately performed in Ire¬ 
 land. For Example; Vol fpent near 1000 
 Years in Rome, yet I never find him in 
 any other Quality than that of a Mecha- 
 nick. At one Time he was a Bottle-ma¬ 
 ker, at another Time he was a Collier; 
 and he frequently worked at the Forge, 
 either in his own, or elfe in the Shop of 
 fome other eminent Blackfmith. He is 
 defcribed by Juvenal as exercifing and 
 teaching all thefe three T rades at once, 
 as in our Time he has been obferved to 
 do in Dublin. 
 
 A Carbone, &forcipibusgladiofque par ante 
 Incude (A V itreo Volcano. 
 
 In fome Editions of Juvenal, it is /«- 
 teo Volcano, by which we are to under¬ 
 hand, that Vol made the Pans which 
 were ’ ufed in his Glafs Houfe. Or per¬ 
 haps luteo Volcano fignifies Vol the Potter. 
 For when all his other Trades failed him, 
 he ufed to make Earthen Ware of all 
 Sorts, both in Rome and in Dublin. 
 
 Vol had always a bad Heart, and we 
 do not find, that any Circumitance or 
 Change of Time or Place ever altered 
 the- Qualities of his Mind. In theReiga 
 of Augujha Cajar, he was. exactly the 
 
 as he is defcribed by Mr. Scheffer. 
 
 Vol es :■ accedes ficcus ad unftum. 
 
 Hor. Epift. ad Scaevam* 
 
 Thou art Vol ; and thou Jhalt eat 
 At the Tables of the Great. 
 
 Horace in thefe few Words deferibes 
 Vol’ s Gluttony, and his Manner of in¬ 
 truding into great Men’s Houfes for the 
 Sake of eating and drinking; the very 
 Thing which our Author has juft now 
 remarked concerning him. The molt 
 learned among the Commentators of Ho¬ 
 rae e, for want of nnder{landing Vol’s Hi- 
 ftory, and this Particular in his Charafterj 
 have entirely miftaken the Paftage, which 
 I have here quoted. They have fucceed- 
 cd little better in their Interpretation of 
 the following} 
 
 Hlnc avidus Jletit 
 
 Volcanus. Hor. Od. 4. Lib. 
 
 They generally render avidus coura- 
 gious, or greedy of fighting, defiring, 
 tiiat pugnee may be underftood. They 
 might as well defire that common fhould 
 be underftood, and cry Horns, Horns, 
 Vol’ s Horns. Befides, I do not remember, 
 that avidus is ufed in this Senfe in any 
 other Place, either by Horace , or by any 
 other W riter of the Augujlan Age. With¬ 
 out all doubt, the Words are tQ be tran- 
 fiated literally, and according to their ge¬ 
 nuine Signification, Hinc avidus Jletit 
 Volcanus, There Jlood that covetous , or ra¬ 
 pacious Fellow VoL-Farther, the ge¬ 
 
 neral Chara&er of Vol, is a manifeft Con-- 
 tradi&ion to the Senfe of this Paflage, as 
 it is explained, by the Commentators., 
 
 Foe 
 
134 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 He was early inform’d, how my Brother was bred; 
 And difcern’d the Materials, which furnifh’d. his Head. 
 
 He 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 For though Vol had been a Sort of Cap¬ 
 tain, yet he never had an Inclination for 
 Fighting. And I obferve he is raillied 
 by Horace , Sat . 3. Lib. 2. for preferring 
 the Trade and Reputation of a Bottle- 
 maker, to all the Honour and Profit 
 that were to be got by a Military Life. 
 
 Quem r^/VViTREA fama , 
 Hunc circumtonuitgaudens Bellona cruentis. 
 
 Glafs-Works, and brittle Fame now pleafe 
 the Wight 9 
 
 Whom thundering Bell would fain have 
 taught to fight . 
 
 I am aftonifhed that Dacier , Fere Tar- 
 teron, the Editor of the Dauphin’s Ho - 
 race , and many other learned Criticks, 
 fhould not better comprehend the Mean¬ 
 ing of thefe Lines, which they agree to 
 render thus, The Man who fujfers himfelf 
 to be blinded by his Vanity , is immediately 
 feized with that Martial Fury which Bel¬ 
 lona infpires . 
 
 Would Horace , who had himfelf been 
 a Tribune in the Army, have fpoken 
 this Language to a Nation of Warriors, 
 or dared to ridicule the Profeflion of a Sol¬ 
 dier among a People, who had juft then 
 finifhed the Conqueft of the World ? This 
 Interpretation is fo very abfurd, that it 
 quite inverts the true Senfe of the Roman 
 Poet. 
 
 It would be endlefs to reckon up the 
 Errors, which the Greek and Latin Com¬ 
 mentators have fallen into for want of be¬ 
 ing well acquainted with the real Hiffory 
 and Character of Vol. But nothing pro¬ 
 vokes me fo much, as when I obferve them 
 explaining the Claftical Name of this He¬ 
 ro in a figurative Senfe, when a literal 
 Tranflation would give us the true Mean¬ 
 
 ing of the Author. I fhall content my 
 felf at prefent with mentioning one Place 
 more in Horace , where the Beauty is 
 quite fpoiled by a metonymical Interpre¬ 
 tation. ? Tis in the fifth Satire of the firft 
 Book, where he deferibes his Journey to 
 Brundufium. 
 
 Tendimus hinc redid Beneventum , ubi fedu- 
 lus hofpes 
 
 Pene arfit, macros du?n turdos verfat in 
 igne. 
 
 Ham vaga per veterem dilap foflamma cu - 
 linam 
 
 Volcano fummum properabat lamb ere 
 tedium. 
 
 From hence we went diredily to Bene¬ 
 ventum > where our Landlord being over 
 officious to ferve us, and bufy in dreffing 
 fome Thrujhes which he had provided for 
 our Supper , fet his Chimney on Fire , and 
 had like to have burnt down his Houfe . 
 
 This is the Senfe of thefe four Verfes 
 according to all the Commentators. But 
 is it probable, that a Cook would make 
 fuch a Fire to broil a few Thrufhes, as 
 was fufficient to roaft an Ox, and there¬ 
 by hazard the burning his Houfe ? Or 
 was fuch an Incident, if it had happened, 
 worth the Poet’s while to record? Now, 
 let us tranflate thefe Lines in fuch a Man¬ 
 ner, as to allow Vol his proper Name, 
 and the Share he had in this A&ion, and 
 we fhall find they include a Piece of pri¬ 
 vate Hiftory, worthy the Obfervation of 
 the Satirifi , and fit to be communicated 
 to the Publick. 
 
 Tjndimus hinc redid &c. 
 
 We flipp'd this Night at Beneventum 
 On Thrujhes: Sure the Devil fent 'urn ; 
 
 Or 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 135 
 
 He efpied, now infpedting with Care the Finances, 
 Many Blanks, large Arrears, but no Sort of Ballances: 480 
 And forbid the Cafhier to revifit his Mount, 
 
 Till the Troops were all paid, and he clear’d his Account. 
 
 Undifmay’d 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Or elfe old Vol the Incendiary , 
 
 Who came unfeen here like a Fairy: 
 
 And now when nonefufpefied him nigh , 
 
 He was conceal'd in Kitchen Chimney . 
 
 But while our Hojl , as quick as neat , 
 
 To do us Honour , drefs’d our Meat ; 
 
 Vol, as a flaming Fiend, appear’ d y 
 And fmg d ojfl half the poor Man’s Beard : 
 Then fpreading wide , and rifling higher , 
 The Caitiff fet the Houfle on Fire. 
 
 That F ather Vol was an Incendiary , and 
 frequently burnt Houfes, and fometimes 
 whole Cities, is fufficiently teftified by 
 the Poets of all Ages. Martial confider- 
 ing him in this ignipotent Quality, ad- 
 drefles to him to fpare the City of Rome, 
 after it had been rebuilt by Domitian . 
 
 Parce precor - flc te - 
 
 Jgnoflcat conjux , patienter amet . 
 
 0 
 
 So may’Jl thou gain thy Spoufle’s Heart , 
 
 As old and ugly as thou art . 
 
 But in order to confirm my Explana¬ 
 tion of that PafTage, which I laft quoted 
 from Horace , and further, to charge upon 
 Vol a premeditated Defign to burn the Inn 
 at Beneventum, I muft take Notice, that 
 lie had an infuperable Averfion to all 
 Poets. He knew that Virgil and Horace 
 were to fup together that Evening ; and 
 he imagined, that if he fet fire to the. 
 Houfe, he might have a Chance to burn 
 them in it. About a hundred Years ago 
 he endeavoured'to ferve Ben Johnjon the. 
 very lame Trick; as I find it remarked 
 
 in one of Howel’s Familiar Letters to Fa¬ 
 ther Ben (dated Weflminfler, June 27th 
 1629) which concludes thus : So defining 
 you to look better hereafter to your Charcoal 
 Fire and Chimney , which , I am glad to 
 be one that preflerved from burning, this 
 being theflecond Time that Volcan hath 
 threatned you , it may be, becaufle you have 
 flpoken ill of his Wife , and been too bufly with 
 his Horns. I refl &c. J. H. 
 
 The fame Antipathy remains with 
 Vol to this Day ; infomuch that he hath 
 frequently threatned to burn Mr. Scheffer , 
 and hath a&ually burnt all our Author’s 
 Works, though they arethebeft Records 
 of his own A&ions, and may perhaps 
 tranfmit his Name to a late Polterity : 
 efpecially, when they fhall be aided and 
 explained by the Chronological Tables, 
 and the new Comment, which I am pre¬ 
 paring to publifh; and of which 1 have 
 given the Reader a Specimen in this Note* 
 And a very imperfect Specimen it is, 
 fince I have here only difcourfed upon 
 fome few Texts of Horace and Juvenal. 
 But when I defcend into other Particulars, 
 and deferibe the Figure and Chara&er of 
 Volj his Titles, Offices and Occupations, 
 as I have extracted the fame from the Co¬ 
 mic Poets, and from Homer, Virgil , Ov'uf 
 See. I am vain enough to think, that I 
 fhall abundantly juftify Mr. Scheffer s 
 Narrative, and render no inconfiderable. 
 Service to the Republick of Letters. 
 
 Ver. 481. —— to revifit his Mount. 
 Nec monticulum revifat, 
 
 .Sua rura; prius ni ik- 
 
 is* 
 
13<S The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Undifmay’d Vol appear’d; but affedted Delay; 
 
 Ask'd a Month, and then two — then another long Day : 
 Till imprifon’d atlength, he produc’d a falfe Rental. 485 
 Unavailing that Fraud, he pretended, “ ’Twas fpentall; 
 “ That in all his bell Projedts, he met with Difafters, 
 
 “ As was ever the Fate of good-natur’d Pay-Mailers; 
 
 “ That except his Apparel £and mean he was clad J 
 “ He agreed to affign all the Chattels he had. 490 
 Then a Largefs among the poor Courtiers bellows, 
 And the Gifts, that were needful to foften his Foes; 
 Till he finds fo much Favour; fome think him a Fool; 
 Politicians report him an Englijhmaris Tool; 
 
 And the Viceroy perfuaded (whotho’ he had feen, 495 
 Ne’er fufpedted the Ufe of the Grilling Machine) 
 
 That a Chub, in his Trade fo unknowing, mull fail, 
 His Excufes accepting, believ’d the feign’d Tale; 
 
 Or 
 
 >JOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 is fe-cerit, debet quibus, See the laft Note, Book II. 
 
 Et officio, & legi-bus. , r 
 
 Ver. 491. Then a Largefs &c. 
 
 T .f ol r had a Mountain Villa near Pauperes, feu inimicos 
 IVicklow , to which Place he repaired Palpat munere auli-cos. 
 early every Sunday Morning. 
 
 v Vol could not purchafe his Quietus too 
 
 Ve *\ • [and mean hewas clad.'] dear, fays Tir-Oen. Quanti, quantibe - 
 Malis fatis pauper faflus i ne emitur. And yet according to the fame 
 
 Ad tuniculam redadus, Commentator, he effefled his Bufmefs for 
 
 Et mifella femoralia : a vei 7 inconfiderable Sum. 
 
 Nec eft, unde emat alia. Ver. 497. That a Chub See, 
 
Book III. The TOAST. 137 
 
 Or the State being fuch, that he could not retrieve it. 
 Nor recover the Money, he feem’d to believe it. 50O 
 O! ye Quaestors hence learn, that no Peril environs 
 Wily Wight, who computes by the Help of Gridirons: 
 Who was ever convid of Male-adminiftration, 
 
 That fo rightly had judg'd, as to rob a whole Nation > 
 Thus the finny huge Monfters, the Pride of the Sea, 505 
 Fancy all the fmall Fry were created for Prey ; 
 Unrefifted, unpunifli’d, your Regions they fcowr; 
 Like a Fleet of Dutch Bufles, their Millions devour. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sed nec duri capitones 
 Supputare rationes ; 
 
 Nec curare militares 
 Res, nec etiam familiares. 
 
 Vol did not confider, whether he was 
 fit for his Employment, but whether the 
 Employment was fit for him. Indeed 
 no other would have anfwered his Pur- 
 pofe. 
 
 Duri capitones. 
 
 Signify hard Heads, Grout Heads, foolijb 
 objlinate Fellows. 
 
 Yer. 505. Thus the finny huge Mon¬ 
 fters , &c. 
 
 Afpice immania cete 
 Quae Oceanum, & tete 
 Comitantur: quam impura 
 Monitra haecce, tua cura ! 
 
 The Whales are reckoned by Virgil a 
 Part of Neptune’s Court, and in the firft 
 Rank of his Attendants. 
 
 Turn varice comitumfacies : immania Cete, 
 Et fenior Glauci chorus , Inoufque Palamon , 
 Tritonefque citi , Phorcique exercitus omnis. 
 
 iEneid. j. 
 
 Yer. 508. Like a Fleet of Dutch 
 Bujfes See. 
 
 Haud vel Batavorum claffis 
 Plures vorat, Nunquam laflis 
 Viae, maris dant pifeari; 
 
 Batavis Di praeftant mare. 
 
 The Herring Filhery is tlie chief Branch 
 of the Dutch T rade; and according to a 
 Computation which hath been lately made, 
 brings yearly more Wealth into Holland 
 than their Indian Fleet. 
 
 T 
 
 Sure 
 
138 The TOAST. Book III. 
 
 Sure the Nereids are cruel, and pleas’d with the Sport; 
 
 Or the Robbers have brib’d my good Uncle’s whole 
 Court. 510 
 
 Quick reply’d the Sea-Goddefs: Youth, fpare your 
 courfe Gibes! 
 
 Nor the Nereids are cruel, or dare to take Bribes. 
 
 All he meets in Diftrefs, the good Sea-God relieves: 
 
 Nor among us is found a Proteddor of Thieves. 
 
 I confefs, as our Realms are well peopled, the Great 515 
 
 Make a Havock too oft — but ’tis only to eat. 
 
 And for this we exile ’em to Gree 7 tland by Troops ; 
 
 Give their Flefh to make Oil, and their Bones to make 
 Hoops. 
 
 But I beg you look up, and behold the fine Things, 
 
 You entrufl with Command-Whom, I think, you 
 
 call-* 520 
 
 Who 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 514. Nor among us is found a 
 Protestor &c. 
 
 Nec praedonum hie patronus, 
 
 Ut in coelis ; neque onus 
 Noftri Di imponunt fuis. 
 
 Quale Rex & tute tuis. 
 
 This is a Reflexion on Mercury , the 
 God and Patron of Thieves; and who 
 juft before had applauded Vol for robbing 
 the Irijh Treafury. 
 
 Ver. 519. But I beg you look up &c* 
 Eccos quos dixiftis Reges, 
 
 Nos Tyrannos (ubi leges 
 Cedunt armisj qui funguntur 
 Veftras vices ; qui coluntur •, 
 
 Qui fpoliant hos, & rapiunt has : 
 Pro ratione ftat voluntas: 
 Pleftunturque cives, five 
 Proes fient, feu Achivi. 
 
 Our Author means thofe arbitrary 
 4 Princes, 
 
B >ok III. The TOAST. 139 
 
 Who opprefs for their Pleafure; whofe Reafon is might; 
 
 Who, where’er they get Footing, eflablifh a Right: 
 
 Who to Regions remote their new Weapons have 
 hurl’d, 
 
 And to feize a few Toys, have unpeopled a World. 
 
 See the Deputy-Tyrants, your Godfhip extols, 525 
 
 Plaughty Vizirs , and Cofcias , Volf ones and Vols ; 
 
 Who deftroy what their Mailers in Confcience may 
 fpare, 
 
 And attempt greater Ills, than a Monarch would dare; 
 
 Where they govern, fuch Marks oi fell Vengeance be¬ 
 llow, 
 
 As the Furies hereafter lhall deal them below. 5 30 
 Since the Rulers of Earth thus are fuffer’d to plunder, 
 
 Unrellrain’d by their Laws, and unlindg’d by your 
 Thunder; 
 
 I fufpeft, that Corruption hath reach’d all above, 
 
 And the Incenfe of * * has blinded great Jove. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Princes, who know no other Law but 
 their own Will and Pleafure. Scheffer 
 ' was not a Friend to ablolute IVlonarchy j 
 and IVetftein informs us, that immediate¬ 
 ly after the Death of Charles XII. of Swe - 
 Jen 9 he wrote feveral Pieces in Defence of 
 Liberty, exhorting his Countrymen tore- 
 ftore their ancient Form of Government* 
 
 &c. 
 
 Ver. 523 .Who to Regions remote 
 Auro, gerris deledlantur : 
 
 Novum orbem populantur. 
 
 He means the Conqueft of America by 
 the Spaniards , who, according to fbme of 
 their own Hiftorians, deftroyed near twen. 
 ty Millions of the Natives. 
 
 T 2 
 
 Ceas’d 
 
v •>;: 
 
 737 
 
 140 TTfc TOAST. Book in. 
 
 Ceas’d the Goddefs, and frown’d. But her jocund 
 young Gueft, 535 
 
 Finding Matters grow ferious, turn’d all to a Jeft. 
 Soon the Fair one was calm’d by his Piping and Prating; 
 When a 'Triton gave Notice, that Supper was waiting. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 436. ■ turn’d all to a JeJl. 
 &c. - 
 
 Canit cantilenam dnlc’, et 
 Novam Hermes. Deam mulcet. 
 Inftat •, concha fonat Triton : 
 Coena lauta (quid di v) 
 
 Apponenda, quando lubet: 
 Thetis nunc apponi jubet. 
 
 Dulc’, et. i. e. D.ulcem et &c. 
 
 This Figure, called Ecthlip/h, 'our Au¬ 
 thor hath but feldom ufed. I have not re¬ 
 marked it in above three or four. Places 
 through the whole Poem. 
 
 Concha fonat Triton. 
 
 The Tritons were the Sons of Neptune 
 ami Ampbitrite. They ferved the Sea- 
 Gods in the Quality of Trumpeters. 
 Their Trumpets were made of Shells. 
 
 T H EC 
 

 
 THE 
 
 TOAST. 
 
 BOOK THE FOURTH. 
 
 Eft aliquid [Mira] Mira novitatis in ifta 
 
 Alternare vices, & qua modo Famina tergo 
 
 Pajja marem eft, nunc efte marem miremur Ovid, 
 
 . - ■ — Ire per ignes 
 
 Per gladios auftm, nec in hoc tamen ignibus ullis j 
 Aut gladiis opus eft: opus eft mihi Crine.— Ovid. 
 
THE 
 
 TOAST. 
 
 BOOK THE FOURTH. 
 
 T HIS thelaft of my Works, this my nobleft Defign, 
 Now the Warriors are gone, haughty Cacus , be 
 thine. 
 
 Hear 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. i. This the lafi of my Works , &c. 
 N unc cum Martem fata (flere 
 Quidni pofiim ?) rapuere 
 Atque iftum ducem furum 
 Habet Acheruns perjurum •, 
 Meum hoc extremum opus, 
 Operumque omnium fcopus 
 (Nec quid majus pofiim j frater 
 PerJ'ei, tibi deftinatur; 
 
 Tibi, Cace tarde, barde, 
 
 Dignitofe Edou - 
 
 Pugnas memorem, quas Mars iam, 
 (Nec centones tibi farciam) 
 
 Et qucecunque quit duellica 
 Arte contra Saga bellica. 
 
 O fubveni mi — nec, qui fim, 
 Quaere •, fed Mufarum vieem 
 Exple, imple, me canente, 
 
 Me refponde refpondente. 
 
 Parva enim vobis fides 
 Apud nos eft, Pie-rides, 
 
 Dum fublime feror: nota 
 Vobis, vatis vitia, vota: 
 
 Si quis mi fit amiciflimus. 
 
 Ego tunc importuniffimus. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer intended to have add relied 
 this fourth Book to Sir Mars y fince the 
 greateft Actions of that Hero’s Life are re¬ 
 lated here. But before the Work was 
 finifhed. Mars difappeared, or according 
 to the general Opinion, he died j having 
 full appointed Sir Piercy and Cacus his 
 Succelors, and the Executors of his Ven¬ 
 geance. See the Note, Ver. 411. Book Ilf. 
 
 Some little Time after the Departure 
 of Sir Mars, Piercy likewife died, having 
 furvived the great Hero ju't long enough 
 to lliew the Irijh Nation, that he was 
 equal to the Office to which he had been 
 nominated. [See his Character in the E- 
 pifllc to Cadenus, and what is faid of him 
 in the third Book.] Cacus, who had been 
 Coadjutor to Piercy in his Life-time, was 
 
 after 
 
144 The TOAST, Book IV. 
 
 Hear the Battle I fing; nor thy Succour refufe 
 To the Bard, who invokes thee inftead of his Mufe. 
 For, importunate ever, I dare not rely 5 
 
 On my Friends of Parnafs\ when I’m foaring fo high; 
 Or expert, the fair Virgins fliould give me a Lift, 
 
 And obey ev’ry Call, as they wait upon Swift. 
 
 Nor diftruft, great Patrician, thy Force to infpire; 
 Lo! thy Name makes me glow with Poetical Fire; 10 
 And thy Language fo pure, tho’ for Rhyming unfit, 
 Gives a Grace to thy Truth, and an Edge to my Wit: 
 For an Edge mull be given by a Thing, which has 
 
 none; 
 
 As a Razor, you know, mull be let by a Hone. 
 
 But alas! if with wicked old Vol thou combine, 15 
 And the Spirit of Piercy be mingled with thine ; 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 after his Death appointed by the Sorcerefs 
 the foie Manager of thofe iniquitous Pro- 
 jefts, which Ihe had formed againft our 
 Author. It was generally believed at 
 firft, that Cacus would have withdrawn 
 himfelf from the Witch’s Circle, For, 
 being poflefledof a good Eftate, he did not 
 want her Affiftance; and on fome Occa- 
 fions, he had endeavoured to appear a 
 Man of Honour. He had likewife been 
 frequently heard to rail at Myra \ and 
 among other Things he had faid in the 
 Hearing of fome eminent Citizens, Jhe 
 was become a pub lick Nufance . But the 
 Sorcerefs, who knew his Paffion for Mo¬ 
 ney, bribed him with a ftnall Sum, and the 
 
 Hopes of a new Office, to do all her 
 Drudgery, even the moft infamous Jobs. 
 
 See his Character in Mr. Scheffer 's E- 
 piftle to Cadenus. 
 
 Ducem furum. Sir Piercy. 
 
 Ver. 14. As a Razor , you know , &c. 
 Sic novaculse cos dabit. 
 
 Quod non hercle ipfa habet. 
 
 This Simile is borrowed from Horace . 
 
 Fungar vice cot is , acutum 
 Reddere qua ferrum valet , exfors ipfafe - 
 candi. Hor. Art. Poet. 
 
 if 
 
 6 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 145 
 
 If entic’d by the Imp, by thy Confcience unaw’d, 
 Thou haft fought newPofleflions by Rapine and Fraud; 
 If thy Juftice and Honour be fuch, as ne’er fcorn d 
 To aflift the bafe Villains, whom Myra fuborn’d; 20 
 To eftablilh the Will, which her Witchcrafts had made, 
 And deny a plain Fad, That the Money was paid: 
 Then attend me, fair Fortune; revenge the great Wrong: 
 Or at leaft—Here aflift me to finifti my Song. 
 
 For the Mufes, as all our great Criticks agree, 25 
 Often leave the beft Part of their Bufinels to thee. 
 Thou haft aided old Monks, in Unclajfical Times, 
 When their Heads were in Labour, to bring forth quaint 
 Rhymes: 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 17. If entic'd by the Imp, &c. 
 Si amorem fimulavit. 
 
 Si te Succuba captavit. 
 
 Tir-Oen fays, that Cacus was not one 
 of Alt’s Gallants, as our Author infinu- 
 ates, but that (he confirmed him in Myra’s 
 Service, by promifing him her Interefi at 
 the Caftle. 
 
 Ver. 21 .To efiablifh the Will , &c. 
 Teftamentum fi firmare, 
 
 Atque nummos abnegare, c. 
 Our Author alludes here to Sir Mars 's 
 Will, and the pretended Trull; of which 
 fee the Account , Ver. 411. B. III. and 
 what is faid hereafter • 
 
 Ver. 23. Then attend me, fair Fortune , 
 &c. 
 
 Tunc, Fortuna, hunc incufa, 
 Atque eris mihi Mufa : 
 
 Atque erit, fi tu praeis, 
 
 Honos verfi-culis meis. 
 
 This Addrefsto Fortune was occafion- 
 ed by an Obfervation which Mr. Scheffer 
 could not avoid making during his Reli- 
 denceinthis Country, That Preferments 
 are very (eldom bellowed according to 
 the Merit of the Candidates. Even Poets 
 (as he has obferved very truly) are fome- 
 times created and dignified by Chance and 
 f avour. Jobnfon , Davenant , and Dty- 
 den, were honoured with the Laurel, be- 
 caufe they were Poets, C. C. the A&or, 
 becaufe he was the Child of Fortune. 
 Hunc incufa —Sc. Cacutn. 
 
 u 
 
 And 
 
14 6 - The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 And to humour our Tafte, or to honour thefe Days, 
 Thou haft furniftid whole Epicks,and all the new Plays. 
 Unconcern’d, that Apollo thy F&ncy explodes, 31 
 
 Thou haft made the great Laureat, and all his Court- 
 Odes. 
 
 And-to help a weak Bard fhould not you be inclin’d, 
 
 Who fo oft have exalted the Dregs of Mankind ? 
 
 You adorn’d * * * *, whom Nature made ugly ; 35 
 
 You aflign’d a Lord’s Table to parafite- 
 
 To declaim in the C- 1 Lord Traulus you chofe; 
 
 You rewarded the Babble of * * and *. 
 
 In the College you fometimes have made a Bear fing, 
 And transfer’d gentle E — wood 's Politenefs to —; 40 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS 
 
 Ver. 38. You rewarded the Babble of 
 &c. 
 
 Ditas 10 & BO majores, 
 
 Sed incultos Oratores •, 
 
 Quos popellus dicat melleos, 
 Verum egomet Vagellios. 
 
 Sic dixiffe fertur Io ; 
 
 (Euge ! refpondijfe Bo 
 44 lllius eflo tu defenfor 
 “ (§£uid ft pauper vates cenfor?). 
 
 #t Qui meliorem audax vocet 
 46 In jus *, jus fi tibi profit. 
 
 Egomet Vagellios. 
 
 Vagellius was a Modenefe Lawyer, whom 
 Juvenal mentions in his Sixteenth Satire. 
 
 For his Fee he would plead any Caufe 
 right or wrong. 
 
 Pauper vates cenfor . 
 
 Nempe poeta nojier , quern defticiebant , iff 
 agreftem , indottumque prce fe putabant ma- 
 ledici ijli Oratores . Tir. Oen. Mean¬ 
 ing our Author , whom thofe foul-mouthed 
 Orators defpifed , looking on him as Illi¬ 
 terate, and a meer Rujlick , in Comparir 
 fon of themfelves. 
 
 Ver. 39. In the College &c. 
 
 Ut, ut homo, K - us dudum 
 
 Cultum fimulat E - woodum: 
 
 Dr.. E — wood, a Fellow of T. C. D. 
 and Member of Parliament for the Uni- 
 verfity, is a Gentleman of great Huma^ 
 nity, and a polite Scholar. 
 
 You 
 
i47 
 
 Book IV. The TOAST. 
 
 You efpy’d, tho’ we fancy, your Sight is fo fhort, 
 
 Rare E-pal Virtues in * * and 
 
 For another B-h too you have fhewn a due Care, 
 
 Since, encoiff d by your favour, Dorn Fufcus fits there: 
 
 You 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 41, Ton efpy 9 d ? &c. 
 
 Pietate quali quali, 
 
 Certe tu facerdotali, 
 
 Literifque Hor & Ho. 
 
 Imbuifti. Oh! Oh! Oh! 
 
 Sed anteferendus uter 
 Utri, dice: utri neuter. 
 
 Novimus £5? qui te , Ho, 
 
 Teque Hor, facello quo. 
 
 Fuit olim hie , iff ill 9 imus \ 
 
 FatOyforma polfimillimus , 
 Moribufque , huic Ho Me Hor : 
 Aqua aqua baud fimilior. 
 
 Qui nonodit piuvi H— 
 
 Hercle amet feium H - 
 
 Et eundem vel in mari 
 
 Jubeat Deus quis venari , V 
 
 Vel in aere pifeari. j 
 
 ill 9 imus , i. e. ille imus 
 
 There is not any Paflage in the whole 
 Poem, which hath puzzled the Latin 
 Commentators fo much as this. The dif¬ 
 ficulty is how to explain the two Mono- 
 fyllables Hor and Ho. Fir. Oen will have 
 them to fignify, Hortatores Honora- 
 tos. But this Interpretation is too gene¬ 
 ral, and I may as well call them Horridos 
 Homunciones. Wetfein fays, they are 
 Chineje Words, and Appellations of Ho¬ 
 nour, by which two of the High Prieffs 
 of Confucius are diftinguifhed. Cuper 
 mode ft ly owns he does not know the 
 meaning of the Words ; but imagines, 
 that fylr. Scheffer intending in this Place 
 
 to compliment two great Men, who are 
 eminent for their Piety and Learning, 
 hath made ufe of Cant Names, and has 
 left it to the Judgment of the learned 
 Reader to apply his Defcription. 
 
 It is proper to inform the Reader, that 
 the Verfes which are printed in Italic Cha¬ 
 racters, are fuppofed to be fpurious. For 
 Tir-Oen affirms, they are wanting in the 
 original Manufcript. But for my part, I 
 think, they are as much in Mr. Scheffers 
 Manner, as any other Parts of the Poem. 
 I have therefore thought it proper to trans¬ 
 late them ; tho’ in deference to Tir-Oen' 3 
 Judgment, I have not inferted my Ver- 
 fion in the Text. 
 
 Novimus iff qui te , Ho, &c. 
 
 Be it Ho, be it Hor ; they are equal in 
 
 Fame , 
 
 And their Manner r, and Fortune , and Fi¬ 
 gure the fame. 
 
 Like to Like, as you know who faid thus to 
 his Brother ; 
 
 And the Man who loves this H, mujl ho¬ 
 nour the other : 
 
 And the fame Jhould be ferity would the Gods 
 grant my Prayer , 
 
 Or to hunt in the Sea , or to fijh in the Air • 
 
 In mari venari , in aere pifeari , fignify 
 in Plautus , to attempt impoffibilities , or 
 to labour in vain. Here thefe Phrafes 
 mean fomething more. 
 
 Ver. 43. For another &c. 
 
 Tu alterius curas B - ci 
 
 Res, haud nunc, ut olim, manci. 
 U 2 Tua 
 

 148 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 You fupply’d him with Law, which had never been us’d, 
 And a Stock of Socratical Patience infus’d: 46 
 
 Nor could elfe fo much delicate Honour have born it, 
 When the skinny old Wife had leduc’d the young 
 Cornet. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Tua providentia bardi 
 
 Iftius ornat caput- 
 
 (Sit Dom . Fufcus : hoc no-men do, 
 Ne me pet at innuendo .) 
 
 Quem fecifti virum-Trium ; 
 
 Cui dedifti efTe fcium, 
 
 Et callere leges : Quas ? non T 
 Anglic as. An lernas ? non. V 
 Has? illas? non. An ullas? non.J 
 
 Fufcus was the Name of a Judge men¬ 
 tioned by Martial and Juvenal . The 
 latter in his T welfth Satire, likewife men¬ 
 tions the Wife of Fufcus , but not much 
 to her Honour; for he places her in 
 Company with Pholus the Centaur. In 
 the Margin of the Manufcript, from 
 which Grierfon publifhed the firft Edition 
 of this Poem, I read the following Note 
 under the Word (Fufcus), which I think 
 is to be found fomewhere in Buffy Rabu - 
 tin 9 s Letters, Je vcudrois bien vous faire 
 connoitre U perfonnage fans vous le nommer . 
 11 n 9 efl pas Ji beau qu 9 Aftolfe ni que 
 Joconde, mais en recompenfe il eji quatre 
 fois plus malheureux . Ne le connoijfez 
 vous pas d tela ? C’efl un Mari tout a 
 fait infenfible . 5 Tis certain, that Fufcus 
 is a borrow’d Name, as our Author him- 
 felf tells us in that Parenthefis (Sit Dom . 
 Fufcus , &c.) but whether it be applicable 
 to any particular Perfon, or whether this 
 Chara6ter is Panegyrick or Satire, I will 
 not determine., Tir-Oen , tho’he knew 
 no more of the Matter, than I do, has yet 
 had the Afiiirance to fill up the Blank at 
 the end of the fourth Verfe; and afferts 
 
 that Fufcus , or by what other Name he 
 is pleafed to call him, was an Enemy to 
 Mr. Scheffer^ and upon fome occafion 
 treated him with great Rudenefs. 
 
 Ver. 46. And a Stock of Socratical 
 &c. 
 
 At uxoris fit amentia 
 Eevior viri patientia : 
 
 Uxor enim illi quippe, 
 
 Qualis Socratis Xantippe. 
 
 Xantippe was the Wife of Socrates , and 
 a very bad one. When Socrates was asked, 
 how he could bear with her, heanfwered, 
 fhe exercifed his Patience, and fo ufed 
 him to endure the Humours of other 
 troublefome People. However I do not 
 find, that Xantippe was falfe to her Huf- 
 band s Bed: And therefore the Poet had 
 done better, ifinflead of comparing Fuf¬ 
 cus to Socrates , he had compared him to 
 Cato, who was fo complaifant, as to lend 
 his Wife to a young Fellow of his Ac¬ 
 quaintance, who was in Love with her. 
 
 Yer. 48. When the skinny old Wife , 
 &c. ‘ 
 
 Urbe tota m^cha nota* 
 
 Oflfa atque pellis tota : 
 
 Quae dum vexillarium vexit, ^ 
 Virum palpans flexk, sex it: V 
 
 Sitcornutus, fi judex fit. J 
 
 OfTa atque pellis tota, Jhe is nothing 
 but Skin and Bones . This Ex predion is. 
 as ancient as Plautus , and is ufed by him 
 in two or three places. 
 
 Stop 
 
V 
 
 Book IV. The TOAST. 149 
 
 Stop a while here, old Bard, to confult the Sieur Dill j 
 Left he cenfure your Work, by reviving the Bill: 50 
 
 Left he fpy in your Proem Scan. Mag. or Sedition, 
 And difcredit your Tale by a quaint Depojition. 
 
 Can you queftion his Conference, or Art to enfnare, 
 Who inftru&ed the Collier and Myra to fwear ; 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 49. Stop a while here , &c. 
 Pergin, fenex, quo coepifti ? 
 Qhoniam in judicium fifti. 
 
 At at (credo) facies nil, ov- 
 
 ev ni confulas tu - 
 
 V entriofum : ille ilia 
 Omnia poffiet : ecca Billa 
 Renovata *, & clientes 
 Eccos Dilli jam petentes 
 Falfas lites teftimoniis 
 Falfis, fibi fed idoneis. 
 
 Tuos, hie eft, bellicofos ^ 
 
 Verfus reddat qui dolofos ; > 
 
 Mores moros, & morofos. J 
 Olli quotuplex feientia, 
 Confcientia, ac fententia ? 
 
 Vollo, Mira , haud incuria, 
 
 Sua didlat qui perjuria \ 
 
 Qui humanam plumbo dedit 
 Yocem *, Deum qui comedit ; 
 (Dcum quern ? egenum Martem) 
 Fungum viri qui artem, 
 Fruftum viri fceleftiffimum, 
 
 Cruce aedepol dignifiimum, 
 Docuit: docuit, fi non bibere, 
 Mortuum loqui* fed & feribere. 
 
 Dill, or (as he is called in the Epiflle to 
 Cadenus) Ondillus was a tall fat Law¬ 
 yer, who without any kind of Learning 
 or Skill in his Profeffion, had cunning 
 enough to create Suits in all Places, where 
 he was admitted, and to turn them to his 
 
 own Profit. He advifed the Method of 
 cheating Mr. 1 Scheffer, and drew that in¬ 
 famous Bill, by which it was pretended, 
 our Authors Purchafe was in Trull for 
 another. To fupport the Allegations of 
 this Bill, he fuggefted to Vol and Myra 
 all the Matter, out of which he framed 
 their Depofitions: And to fecond this Evi¬ 
 dence, he chofe for their Alfociate the 
 greateft Villain in the Kingdom; a Fel¬ 
 low who had formerly been Myra's Foot¬ 
 man, and was fufpedted to condudl the 
 Alfaflins, who were hired to murder our 
 Author. See the Note , Ver. zz\. Book III. 
 Tir-Oen gives us a Charadler of Dill in 
 the following Words, Haud pejor alter 
 ufqua?n ejl gentium , qudm ijle Dill us, qui 
 fcelefiis confiliis & fallaciis dilaceravit res 
 Schefferi, machos, fures , pradones le - 
 nones , ftcarios & Acherunticas fagasfemper 
 paratus juvare , fi, quod dent , ha bent. 
 
 Qui humanam plumbo dedit 
 
 Vocem. 
 
 In this and the laft Verfe, the Poet al¬ 
 ludes to Sir Mars' s Will, which accord¬ 
 ing to common Fame, was made after 
 the Warrior was departed. Tir-Oen 
 fays, that by DilFs Advice, the Teftator 
 was -reprefented by an Image of Lead, 
 which was furnifhed by the Sorcerefs out 
 of her own Colle<ftion. But Jee what is 
 fiaid before of this Affair . Ver. 411. 
 Book III. 
 
 
 
 Who 
 
150 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 Who, to eat up Sir Mars , yet to ftrengthen his Party, 
 
 From the Scum of the Kevans feledled M c -; 56 
 
 Who bellow’d human Speech on an Image of Lead; 
 And has fhewn how a Ranger may write when he’s dead ? 
 But approach him with awe: To enfure your Succefs, 
 Send a Rouleau of Gold, ere you make your Addrefs. 60 
 Then the Sage fhall opine, you are foft as a Lyrick, 
 That a Latin Burlefque is the bed; Panegyrick; 
 
 That a Tribad is chafte, who is crooked and paints; 
 That an Imp is an Angel, and Witches are Saints; 
 
 That the Knights, Lords and Heroes, and ev’ry great 
 Name, 65 
 
 Which hath here been invok’d, fhall be facred to Fame: 
 Or—fhou’d this not fuffice, he fhall make it appear, 
 That the Man, cleped Scheffer , has never been here. 
 
 T Hrice Aurora was call’d, ere fhe quitted her Bed: 
 Overclowded fhe rofe, and hung mournful her 
 Head, 70 
 
 Like 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 69. thrice Aurora was call'd 
 &c. 
 
 Viduam referens mortalem 
 Ore, noftem feu feralem, 
 Triftiorfurgens jam Aurora, 
 
 (Tervocatam tenuit moraj 
 Parco lumine fpargebat 
 Terras, chari dum linquebat 
 Conjugis cubile; bonus 
 Senior quamvis vir Tithonus. 
 
 This 
 
 6 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. i$i 
 
 Like a Widow in Weeds: And fo fcant was her 
 Light, 
 
 That (he feem’d to have borrow’d the Face of old 
 Night. 
 
 Was the caufe, that the Goddefs, to Tithon fo true, 
 
 Lefs inclin’d to rife from him, the older he grew ? 
 
 Or fhe deem’d it ill Manners to broiderher Veil; 75 
 To be buskin’d with Gold; (as in Tajfo fhe’s dreft.) 
 
 Or to deck her with Rofes, look ruddy and gay, 
 
 When fhe now ulher’d in fo important a Day. 
 
 From Olympus Jove view’d (and who queftions his 
 Ken ?) 
 
 All the Regions of Earth, all the A&ions of Men : 8 0 
 Ev’ry Chief he mark’d well, with his Virtues inherent, 
 Whom himfelf, or the People had made his Vicegerent. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 This Fourth Book begins here (Ver. 
 69 ) in the fir ft Edition of our Author’s 
 Work. The Addrefs to Cacus and For¬ 
 tune , and the Praifes of Dill , &c. were 
 added by Mr. Scheffer , when he publifh- 
 ed the fecond Edition. 
 
 Aurora (the Morning) was the Daugh¬ 
 ter of Titan and Terra. She had a rud¬ 
 dy or rofy Completion, and (according 
 to Homer) rofy Fingers. The Horfes 
 which drew her Chariot were likewife of 
 the fame Colour. She always opened the 
 Day, and was therefore called the Har¬ 
 binger of the Sun % This Goddefs was 
 
 fo fond of Tithonus , the Son of Laomedon 
 King of Troy , that fhe loved him even 
 when he was arrived to an extreme old 
 Age. A rare Example of Conjugal Fi¬ 
 delity ! Ovid indeed tells us, that once 
 during her Cohabitation with Tithonus y 
 fhe fell in Love with a young Man, 
 whofe Name was Cephalus . But Cepha - 
 lus was fo fond of his own Wife (whofe 
 Virtue was not in the fame manner Proof 
 againft Temptation) that he refufed the 
 Embraces of a young and handfome God¬ 
 defs: An Inftance of Conjugal Fidelity 
 almolt as incredible as the other! 
 
 But 
 
c. 
 
 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 But he thought, tho’ the Moor oft repeated his Alla, 
 He was ill reprefented by Muley Abdallah. 
 
 Nor Madona the Rufs could hisGodfhip approve: 85 
 
 For a Female he deem’d a feint Image of Jove. 
 
 Many others, who rul’d with an abfolute Sway, 
 
 (But are not to be nam’d, till their Grandfons are grey, 
 Or at lead: till their Honours are laid in the Dull) 89 
 Tho’ fo God-like their Port, were unworthy their Truft. 
 When inverted with all, that his Highnefs could fpare, 
 Did he fee one among ’em content with his Share ? 
 And in truth fhould he choofe out the Man he likes beft, 
 
 Stanijlaus or Carlos -to govern the reft; 
 
 Even he like young Ammon , would ask a new Boon; 95 
 And poflefs’d of this World, he would cry for the Moon. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 83. But he thought, tho ’ the Ver. 95. Even he like young Am- 
 
 Moor &c. 
 
 mon, &c. 
 
 Nunc Philippi, mox Ammonis 
 Filius, haud contentus donis, 
 
 Dii, veftris, furit, moeret ; 1 
 Viftor novos orbes quasrit: \ 
 
 Orbem Lunae pol haberet. J 
 
 Alexander the Great, Son of Philips 
 
 Centies repetatur Alla: 
 
 Meas vices an Abdallah 
 
 Gerit ? an, quae RuJJue Dux eft ? 
 
 Suis lux eft, led & crux eft. 
 
 } 
 
 Abdallah is the prefent Emperor or King of Macedon, called himfelf the Son 
 King of Morrocco. The Emprefs of Ruf- of Jupiter Ammon. When he had con- 
 fia or [ Czarina, (as Ihe is generally ftiled) quered all Greece and the Perftan Empire, 
 makes a great Noife even in this remote he cry’d becaufe he had no more Worlds 
 Part of the World. to conquer. This was a vain Affedlation: 
 
 Is it not Blafphemy to call a Tyrant For all his Conquefts did not extend to a 
 
 God’s Vicegerent? 
 
 tenth Part of our Globe. 
 6 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 
 
 Say, ye Vice-Gods, for what ye thus daily contend ? 
 
 Not—to win a young Wife, or proted an old Friend, 
 Or to fave your fat Beeves, like the Heroes of old ,• 
 But to fill, by Opprefiion, your Coffers with Gold, i oo 
 The Infe&ion fpreads down: Hence the People’s 
 Difafters ; 
 
 For in all, that is Evil, we copy our Matters. 
 
 ’Tis for this we regard neither Honour, nor Health: 
 From the Prince to the Peafant, our Paflion is Wealth: 
 And Corruption in Subjects, Ambition in Kings, 105 
 Tho’ in Sound they may differ, yet are not two Things. 
 Have we all that we ask ? Yet a little we crave; 
 
 And we mean by Enough fomething more, than we have. 
 Should the Gods, who are righteous, a Mifer e’er fpare, 
 
 When, to punifh, they need only grant him his 
 
 Prayer ? no 
 
 Let the Man, who loves Gold, like a Scot with his Pack, 
 Never move, but with all his full Bags at his Back! 
 To diftinguifh King Midas, who can’t have too much, 
 Let him turn all to Gold, which he offers to touch! 
 But, my Mufe> ceafe your Preaching: Your Labours 
 will fail, n5 
 
 If you mingle grave Morals with fuch a light Tale. 
 
 X And 
 
154 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 And aStatefman will fay, you’re unskill’d in your Trade; 
 Or perhaps, to affront you, he’ll call you old Maid. 
 What concerns it a Monk, if a Monarch does wrong ? 
 Or d’ye think, you can mend the whole World with a 
 Song ? .120 
 
 Be advis’d; and no more interrupt your Narration: 
 Tell us how Jove behav’d on the prefent Occafion. 
 
 On his Brow fate alternate a Smile and a Frown; 
 ’Till at length he directed his Eyes to our Town. 
 
 Tho’ (at leafl ’tis thus floried by thofe, who were by) 
 
 He beheld us askaunce; not to fay he look’d fly. 116 
 Near the God flood the gibing Buffoon of the Court, 
 Ever feeking Occafions to make himfelf Sport. 
 
 “ How I want (quoth the Droll) the great Soldier, and 
 Tinker; 
 
 “ Mars toferve for a But, and old Vol for a Skinker! 
 
 “ But 
 
 NOTES and 
 
 Ver. 119. What concerns it &c. 
 
 At ineptias Mufa effert. 
 
 Certe mea parum refert, 
 
 Quod in Reges nunc fnquiro. *) 
 Currant curfus more miro: v 
 
 Et tu, Mula, tuo gyro. J 
 
 i. t. Et tu, Mufa, cu xxt—Makt hafle, 
 and finijh your Work. 
 
 OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 124, He directed his Eyes to our 
 Town, &c. 
 
 Jam defixit malefanas 
 Urbi lumina Eblana y 
 Verum lumina obliqua. 
 
 Dixit audax quis, iniqua. 
 
 Urbi Eblana , Dublin, which I call 
 our Town, for the fake of the Rhyme, 
 Ver. 129. How I want (quoth the 
 Droll) the great &c. 
 
 Momus 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 
 
 u But I fear, we muft reckon our Brothers, as dead. 131 
 Then he look’d upon Jove —and 'Jove nodded his Head. 
 When the Confort (who fears neither Jove, nor his Nod; 
 Tho’ it (hakes the whole Globe) thus accofted the God: 
 “ Muft Iftill be thus treated ?—Unheeded their Birth, 
 “ Shall my Sons be for Ages diftrefs’d on the Earth ? 135 
 While your own dear Adopted, ufurping their Place, 
 “ May offend, as they pleafe, and not forfeit your Grace. 
 “ Or reverfe your hard Doom, and my Children reftore 
 “ To their Heaven, and their Honours; or know me 
 no more. 1 4 ° 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Momus. Ucinam afferent 
 f Si feipfos melius norint) 
 
 Nofter Mars adaman-tinus, 
 
 Et Vol sere crepi-dinus! 
 
 Ut queis ludos faciam: is & 
 Nobis faber cyathiflfet. 
 
 * 
 
 See the Chara£ler of Momus, Ver. 157. 
 Book II. 
 
 jF reer epidinus figniiies a Perfon, who 
 makes a great Noife by beating upon 
 Brafs: And may properly be F.nglifhed 
 either a Brafser or Tinker. Plautus caUs 
 thofe Places, where there was a great 
 Number of Slaves at work, Infulas Fer- 
 ricrepidinas, on account of the Noife 
 which was made by the rattling of their 
 Fetters. 
 
 Faber cyathiffet. 
 
 Vol was not only Cook to the Gods up¬ 
 on extraordinary Occafions, as I have re¬ 
 marked before; but he likewife frequent¬ 
 ly ferved in the Office of a Butler, or 
 was rather what the Danes call a Skenker 
 or Skinker, for fo Cyathiffet properly figni- 
 fies. On thefe Occafions he diverted the 
 Company by playing the Buffoon, as we 
 are informed by Homer. 
 
 Ver. 133. When the Confort &c. 
 Juno increpavit eum, 
 
 ‘ Deum, 
 
 Dei nutum, quantum quotum : 
 Tremefecerit ut totum ^ 
 
 Gcelum nutu, cui ignotum ? 3 
 
 Juno was the Daughter of Saturn and 
 Ops, and the Sifter and Confort of Jupi¬ 
 ter. Tho’ (he was a great Queen and a 
 Goddefs, yet (he had many bad Qualities. 
 
 X 2 Thus 
 
15<J The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 Thus the Thunderer anfwer’d; <£ What Fits of the 
 
 Spleen, 
 
 “ To difturb the great Synod, poffefs our good Queen >. 
 “ Tho’ the Lofs of your Favours we nightly deplore, 
 
 “ Yet we cannot in Confcience fuch Spirits reftore. 
 
 Even tho on Mount Ida your Highnels requeft us 
 “ In the Language of Love, and adorn’d with the 
 
 Ce ft us ' 146 
 
 “ Shou’d a God be unrighteous, and grant a Relief 
 
 “ To a Bully and Bravo, a Juggler and Thief > 
 
 Has not Mars in all Tryals of Honour mifcarried > 
 
 “ Ever beaten, or bubbled! Gods! how he is married ! 
 “ Did he not (moft ungrateful!) deferthis own Bail ? 15 1 
 “ Did he not rob the Mortal, who fav’d him from Jayl > 
 
 “ Does 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 ^er. 151. Did he not (moft ungrate¬ 
 ful!) &c. 
 
 Opes, reftauratas aedes. 
 
 Omnia Manors cui de-buit, 
 
 Nonne vadem dele-ruit ? 
 
 Nonne vadem fpoliavit? 
 Infidiafque colJocavit 
 His & illis, hinc illinc, qui 
 Amiciffimi propinqui, 
 
 Lites novas intendendo, 
 
 Seu ficarios conducendo ? 
 
 Wetftein hath fully explained this P 
 lage He tells us, that Mr. Scheffer, 
 fejs Arrival in Inland, made a VSt to l 
 
 Mars, who was his near Relation • But 
 to his great Surprife, he found the old 
 Knight in the utmoft Diftrefs, without 
 Money or Credit enough to purchafe even 
 theNeceiTariesofLife for himfelfand his 
 hamily. Our Author commiferating his 
 Condition, immediately fupply’d him 
 with Five Hundred Pounds. And 
 being informed, that the Houfe in which 
 bir Mars lived, was mortgaged for almoft 
 as much Money as it was worth, and 
 that the Mortgagee was about to foreclofe 
 the Equity of Redemption, he difcharged 
 that Debt likewile. Butas all this was 
 not fufficient to make the Knight’s Cir- 
 cumftances perfeflly eafy, Mr. Scheffer 
 lent him One Thousand Pounds 
 
 morej 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 157 
 
 “ Does he not for the Rights of his Neighbour contend, 
 
 And inftrudt curs’d Aflafiins to murder his Friend ? 
 “ Even now—when the Wretch is confin’d to his Bed: 
 
 whofe Bounty alone he is fed. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 more ; and even after this bail'd him, three Villains were hired for this Purpofe. 
 when he was fued for a Debt of Four They watched Mr. Scheffer for a whole 
 Hundred Pounds, which Sum our Week, without meeting with an Oppor- 
 Author afterwards paid. For all the Mo- tunity to put their Defign in Execution, 
 ney thus advanced by him, he took no At length one of the Affafftns , being 
 other Security, than a Reverfional Grant flruck with a Remorfe, came to him, 
 of the Houfe and a little Piece of Land, of and difcovered the Plot, which by this 
 which Sir Mars was then poflelfed, being means was defeated, 
 contented to let the Knight enjoy both dur- The Sorcerefs however was not at all 
 
 inghisLife. The wicked old Sorcerefs, per- difconcerted. Since the Train (he had 
 ceivingher Husband’s Circumftances were laid to take away Scheffers Life had failed 
 fo much mended, reconciled herfelf to of Succefs, (he obliged her Husband to 
 him; and tho* (hehad been the real Oc- declare.open War againft him. And to 
 cafion of all his Misfortunes, and had carry it on with Succefs, fhe employ’d : 
 treated him in a moft infolent and inhu- her Privy Counfellors Ondill and j. Oc-* 
 man manner during his Diftrefs, yet he co> to draw a Bill, in which they 
 was either fo weak, or fo wicked as to fub- were ordered to charge him with Fraud, 
 mit himfelf again to her Direction. The and a Breach of Trull ; to demand that 
 firft thing fhe advifed him to do, was to the Securities he had obtained from Sir 
 acquit himfelf of the Obligations he owed Mars , fhould be fet afide, infilling that 
 to Scheffer . And this could not be ef- Mr. Scheffer had never lent him one Shil- 
 fe&edany other way, than by removing ling. To fupport the Allegations of this 
 his Benefa&or out of the World. She Bill, fhe undertook to procure Evidence , 
 reprefented to him, that Scheffer be- if her own were not fufficient. For this 
 ing a Stranger, his Death could not purpofe Vcl was taken into the Confedera- 
 make any great Noife, nor would cy. ( See the following Note.) And the 
 any Body give themfelves the Trouble to Lawyer Ondill (as we have laid before/ 
 enquire into the Caufe of it: That the was appointed to methodize their Depoff 
 Moment he was dead, he (Sir Mars) tions , and J. Occo to plead their Caufe. 
 fhould immediately poflefs himfelf of all The Reafons which Jupiter afligns for 
 his EffeQs, which he had a Right to do, his refufing to recall Sir Mars and Vcl 
 and which no one would difpute with are certainly very juft. Such Wights 
 him. In purfuance of this Advice, it was would make but a bad Figure in an Af- 
 refol ved to assassinate our A uthor, by fembly of G ods, 
 
 (hooting him in his Chair at Night, and 
 
 But 
 
i 
 
 158 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ But recoil all their Darts! And, whate’er that Surveyor 
 “ For his Profit projects, or the other fhall fwear ; 
 e( Be abortive their Plots f nor to Scheffer unknown j 
 Ci And attempting his Life let ’em forfeit their own 1 160 
 c< Then the Sons of I erne ftiall honour the Bard ; 
 cc And the Juftice of Talbot his Virtue reward. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 157. — And whatever that 
 Surveyor &c. . 
 
 Quicquid Sinon fimulando, 
 
 Quicquid Perfeus pejerando, &c. 
 
 The Perfon, whom the Poet calls Sinon , 
 •was an Englijh Member of Parliament, 
 and a General-Surveyor, as well as Sir 
 Piercy. * He entered into the Confederacy 
 againft Mr. Scheffer at the fame time that 
 he profefled the greateft Friendihip and 
 Efleem for him. Sinon had no Virtues, 
 but an infatiable Thirft for Money. He 
 fcrupled no Undertakings, which af¬ 
 forded him an Opportunity of amafling 
 Wealth. Mars , who knew his Avarice, 
 gained him to his Party, by promifing to 
 leave him a great Eftate; to which, as he 
 pretended, he had a very good Title. 
 With the fame AlTurance, he might have 
 promifed him the Crown of Poland , after 
 the Death of Auguftus . 
 
 Ver. 160. And attempting his Life 
 &c. 
 
 Nunc, dum ferrum moliuntur, 
 
 Palam fcelera dicuntur. 
 
 Impii duces jam fugere ; 
 
 Arte fua periere. 
 
 In a little Time, after the Attempt on 
 our Author’s Life, Sir Mars departed, 
 and Sir Piercy furvived him but a few 
 Months, as is /aid above: About the fame 
 Time Sinon alfo died, exprefling fome 
 
 Concern for the Part he had afled, in 
 Conjun&ion with Mars and his wick¬ 
 ed Aflociates. 
 
 Ver. 161. Then the Sons of Ierne 
 fhall honour the Bard *, 
 
 And the Juftice of Talbot &c. 
 
 Fulgeat fed intaminatis 
 Multis hono-ribus vates.* 
 
 Vatis damna jam rependat, 
 Quijuftitia res emendat, 
 
 Tuus Talbot, O Aftrsea : 
 Proprium mi dicato, Dea ; 
 
 Quin & tuas iances cedo *, 
 
 IUi, Pallas, (tibi quse do) 
 
 Sapere, ratiocinari *, 
 
 Suada,, quicquid fentiat, fari. 
 DiT^bottum adjuvate, 
 Propriumque mi dicate. 
 
 By the Death of Sinon , Mr. Scheffer 
 became entitled to a Legacy of 4000 
 Pounds which he hath fince recovered by 
 a Decree of the prefent Lord Chancellor 
 of England . 
 
 - - O Aftnea, &c. 
 
 AJlraa was the Daughter of Jupiter 
 zn&Tbemis, and the Goddefs of Juftice ; 
 Pallas was the Goddefs of Wifdom, and 
 Suada the Goddefs of Eloquence. 
 
 * Sir.on was not privy to the intended Assassination; lut he engaged in all the Mcafures which 
 •Sir Mars and the old Sorurejs had concerted to plunder nur Author. 
 
 Here 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 159 
 
 « Here enrol that great Name / And, ye Godr, blefs my 
 Choice! 
 
 “ Lend Minerva her Judgment, and Suada her Voice! 
 « Be as pure his Decrees , as vijlrcca s Commands! 165 
 « And herBallance forever remain in his Hands! 
 
 “ Now a Word of old Vol -In all Dealings unjuft : 
 
 “ Did he not fteal the Treafure aflign d him inTruft ? 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 167. Now a W'ord of old V ol*—■ 
 &c. 
 
 Tis H<t>AlSTO£ ; Exul faftus 
 Scelio, baro, planus, Prachtus , 
 Dolos, modo peculator, 
 Peregrinis meditatur *, 
 
 Nomen teftis pejerati 
 Nullustimens, impiis itfoirret ; 
 Quamvis parvae fint mercedes. 
 Hiccin ’ free mi a mereat , quee des ? 
 
 The Latin Commentators are all a- 
 greed, that J3?acf)t, which is one of the 
 Appellations here bellowed upon Vol, is 
 an old Teutonick Word, which fignifies a 
 Bragging or Boa/ling, from whence the 
 Belgick Verb^?atCU (to Tattle or Tri¬ 
 fle) and the Englijh Prate is derived. And 
 thus I likewife find it explained in Skin¬ 
 ner’s Etymologicon Anglicanum. But how¬ 
 ever, I incline to think, that this Word 
 comes from the Greek ot^drretv, which 
 Mr. Scheffer makes ufe of a few Verfes 
 lower on purpofe, as I conceive, to point 
 out the Radix of |B?aCt)t n$*TT«v is a 
 Word of fuch a large Signification, that 
 it may be very properly applied to denote 
 any of Vol’s Offices or Occupations, or 
 any Affairs, whether of good Report or 
 
 of evil Report, in which he has been enga¬ 
 ged fince his Arrival in this Country. 
 Thus when he was Treafurer of Ireland 
 and Conftable of the Caftle, when he was 
 fearching for Coals, or building his Glals- 
 Houfe, he might be faid 7rp«TT«r, i. e. 
 Rebus ad Rem publicam pertinentibus ope- 
 ram dare , and in this Senfe it is ufed by 
 Herodotus and Thucydides, n^ir-rai' in 
 Ariftophanes , fignifies, Lites intendere, and 
 may therefore be well applied to exprefs 
 Vol’s Character, as he was the chief Pro¬ 
 moter and Manager of thofe unjuft and 
 wicked Law-Suits, which were carried on 
 againft Mr. Scheffer ; upon which Occa- 
 fion he furnilhed Evidence, and gave his 
 own Tejlimony in Matters, of which 
 he had no Cognifance. And this is the 
 Meaning of thefe Lines j 
 
 Nomen Teftis pejerati 
 Nullus timens Impiis 
 
 That is, He fupports a wicked Caufe, by 
 giving falfe Evidence , and without fear 
 of Punijhment fands up in Defence of a 
 Set of People, who have no Honour or Pro¬ 
 bity. In this Senfe itidsseiv <t>iAiWa', a. 
 Philippi partibus fare, is ufed by Dtmof 
 theneSj &c. 
 
 “ Are 
 
i 6 o The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ Are his Friendfhips not made with Intent to betray ? 
 <c Will he not be fuborn’d,—and for very fmall Pay ? 170 
 <{ Don’t you hear him blafpheme in revenge, that he 
 fell, 
 
 “ Ridiculing the Pow’rs both of Heaven, and of Hell ? 
 lt And if haply his Wit but half equal’d his Spite, 
 a Or his Head was new moulded, the Caitif wou’d 
 write: 
 
 He wou’d argue in Print, and my Edidts deny; 175 
 <£ Or infult the good Bard, who records this Reply. 
 
 a Wretched Mortals, made frail, fin agen and agen; 
 <c Yet we find Sparks of Virtue in very bad Men : 
 
 “ Not a Spark in thefe Wights! If your Highnefs can 
 fhew, 
 
 “ From the Day they were fentenc’d to wander be¬ 
 low, 180 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 171. Don't you hear himblaf- 
 pheme &c. 
 
 Atque idem, qui ri^anw, 
 
 Audet etiam 
 
 Audet ipfus hie matseus, 
 
 (Nam mataeus, qui athe-usj 
 Neque pili facit-Quos ? 
 
 Deos magnos, nos, vos, hos. 
 Neque coelum, coelum putat: 
 Ccelum, at non mores mutat. 
 
 Vol t after the Manner of the Epicureans , 
 maintained, that all things were made by 
 chance, and that all Religion was Prieft- 
 craft. It muft be acknowledged, that 
 VoT s Adlions exadtly correfponded to his 
 Creed. 
 
 Mataus (from MoItxios) fignifies a 
 wrong-headed Man, or a Fool. Matje- 
 us Jum : Vtnum mibi in Cerebrum abiit. 
 Pet. Arb. 
 
 “ Any 
 
V 
 
 Book IV. The TOAST. \ 6 i 
 
 “ Any Good, any where, either Exile hath done; 
 
 “ I’ll abfolve him that inftant, and own him my Son. 
 Here again the old Joker: “ ’Twas haftily faid; 
 
 “ Nor intend you, great Madam, to part from Jove s 
 Bed. 
 
 “ Have you not of his favourite Pleafures bereft 
 him? 185 
 
 ** Nor a Concubine now to converfe with is left him: 
 <£ And wou’d you, fince he leads here fo virtuous a 
 Life, 
 
 N 
 
 “ Force him down in Difguife on another Man’s Wife ? 
 ££ Or provoke him, when thus you’re fo coy, and fo loud, 
 ££ To create a new Confort—-perhaps of a Cloud ? 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 188. Force him down in Dif- 
 
 guife , &c. 
 
 Aut maechiflet ubi ubi; 
 
 Autex rofea quavis nubc 
 Nova effingatur Juno. 
 
 Alio cantharo & uno 
 Sic potetur. At obfcurum 
 Fore difcri-men futurum 
 Magnas Deae, & mortalis. 
 
 Verse, fi&ae, qualis, qualis, 
 Nube-culae, & Juncnis, 
 
 Docuit fatum Ixionis. 
 
 Ixion was the Son of Pblegyas , a King 
 in Theffaly. Jupiter took him into Hea¬ 
 ven, feated him at his own Table, and 
 made him his chief Companion. Here 
 
 Ixion fell in Love with Juno , and was fo 
 audacious, as to make his AddrefTes to 
 her directly. The Goddefs immediately 
 acquainted her Husband with his Prefump- 
 tion, and urged him to punilh Ixion in 
 an exemplary Manner. But Jupiter , who 
 was fenfible of the Force of Love, and 
 knew the Frailties of human Nature, fent 
 him a Cloud in the Likenefs of Junn % 
 which Ixion enjoy’d, and of w T hom the 
 Centaurs were born. 
 
 Ixion afterwards bragging, that he had 
 lain with Juno , was hurled down to Hell, 
 and there bound to a Wheel, which was 
 perpetually whirled about, fo that he 
 could never have any reft. 
 
 Ixion was not punifked. for his Amour, 
 but bccaufe he did not keep it fecrec. 
 
 Y 
 
 £C And 
 
 
 / 
 
\ 6 % The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ And the Fate of Ixion y methinks, fhould make you 
 know, 191 
 
 “ That a Cloud in the Dark is as good, as a Juno . 
 
 “ When the Humours are peccant provoking to fcold; 
 
 Your Phyfician fhould order an Apple of Gold. 
 
 <c But without his Afliftance I’ll now make you 
 Friends; 195 
 
 “ Tho’ fo arduous the Task, you fhall both have your 
 Ends. 
 
 “ Sire, to pleafe the Queen Confort the Exiles recall r 
 “ Yet prevent their Return, that you thus may pleafe all. 
 <c Let Accompt-Books in Folio be pil’d at our Gate ! 
 
 {i In a Sheriff’s Form there let a Demi-god wait 200 
 “ With the Cudgel of Bellew y or Diomed's Spear; 
 
 “ And annihilate me, if they ever come here ! 
 
 All the Synod laugh’d loud: Then a Silence enfu’d* 
 Till the Droll thus to Phoebus his Gibing renew’d. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 194. Your Phyfician Jhould &c. 
 
 Et rixari quoties lubeat, 
 
 Aureum malum dari jubeat *, 
 Aureum malum (ni nefapius) 
 
 Ifte nofter Ailculapius. 
 
 &{culapius 3 the Son of Apollo and the 
 
 Nymph Coronis , was the God of PhyficlC 
 He freed Rome from the Plague, for which 
 the People built him a Temple, and wor- 
 fhipped him in the Form of a Serpent. 
 
 The Judgment of Paris , and the Hif- 
 tory of the Golden Apple, which occa- 
 fioned the Trojan War, is fo well known* 
 that I need not repeat it here. 
 
 6 
 
 “ I perus’d 
 
Book IV. The TO AS T. 163 
 
 <c I perus’d the rough Edidyou publilh’dlaft Night: 205 
 <{ But the Stile is uncouth; nor your Sentence is right. 
 
 “ And belides-ought you flop, Sir, fo long in one 
 
 place 
 
 “ To behold an old Hag, while (he painted her Face > 
 “ But, I find, all Love Matters you turn to a Farce, 
 
 “ And expofe Old or Young-Mum for Venus and 
 
 Mars: 210 
 
 Here the Paphian grew red; and when Momus had done, 
 In a Paflion fhe rofe, thus upbraiding the Sun : 
 
 “ Tho’ fo curious to pry, what Delight can you take 
 
 “ To prevent better Sport, than you’re able to make ? 
 
 “ And (becaufe you forgot, when his Myra was 
 
 young) 215 
 
 “ To reproach gentle George , who fofweetly has fung? 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 209. But I find all Love-mat¬ 
 ters , &c. 
 
 Sit puella, fit ve-tula. 
 
 Si amarit, fit fa-bula 
 Tuo, Sol, indicio. Sic fi T 
 Mars & Venus —furtis nixi. \ 
 Eccos laqueos—jocos —Dixi. J 
 
 Momus here alludes to the famous In¬ 
 trigue of Mars and Venus, which was 
 difcovered by the Sun. See the F able at 
 large in the OdyJJ'eyzad in Ovid. 
 
 Ver. 211. Here the Paphian grew 
 red , &c. 
 
 Paphkfi Veneris decora 
 Confcius rubor notat ora. 
 
 See Ver. 11 o. Book II. why Venus was 
 called the Paphian. 
 
 Ver. 213. - what Delight can 
 
 you take , &c. 
 
 Quid nos curas, quid gerarnus ? 
 Invidefne, quod amamus ? 
 
 Qui nil poteft, fi quis a met, 
 Annon poflit, quin exclamet ? 
 
 Venus here tacitly reproaches die Sun 
 for difeovering her own Amour ; tho’ 
 fhe would be thought to be angry with 
 him on Myra's Account only. 
 
 Y 2 “ If 
 
i < 4 - The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ If the Women are Bald, or their Trefles are Grey; 
 
 “ Father Time, and the Fates are in Fault—and not 
 they. 
 
 “ Shall the want of a Tooth, when a Dame is well born, 
 
 “ Or perhaps a few Wrinkles expofe her to Scorn 220 
 “ You confefs (and we know you furvey’d ev’ry Place) 
 
 u She’s as young as your Godfhip-except in the Face. 
 
 “ For the Secrets-we ufe to preferve the Complexion; 
 
 “ They are none of your Drugs, nor create an Infection. 
 
 “ Paints and Lotions on all Royal Toilets are feen: 221; 
 
 “ Mark the Court of young Lewis, and cenfure his Queen. 
 “ Shou’d I make your Decree, Sir, a Matter of Quarrel; 
 “ While I fpeak it, my Myra-OaoxtA. change to a laurel. 
 “ Then your Rhymers in Doggrel her Beauties wou’d 
 prize,. 229 
 
 “ Proud to wear the bright Locks, they are bid to defpife. 
 
 “ But 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 223, For the Secrets—we ufe 
 &c. 
 
 Quod ad forma; medicamina; 
 Quamvis parva hfec conamina* 
 Nec ex veftra officina 
 Quaeftuosa, nec divina, 
 
 Nec ex pyxide Pandora;: 
 
 Hifce tamen pol decora; 
 
 Vel Regin*, dum comuntur, 
 Familiariter utuntur. 
 
 Apollo was the God of Phyfick. Venus 
 raillies him in that Quality, infinuating, 
 that the Paints and Walhes, which the 
 Ladies ufed to mend their Complexions, 
 are left hurtful than his Prefcriptions. 
 
 Ver. 229. Then your Rhymers in 
 Doggrel &c. 
 
 Si in laureas crefcant crines ; 
 
 O quam magni ? Tunc re-cines 
 
 Mira 
 
 6 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 165 
 
 “ But you know I love Peace; nor my Manners incline 
 <( To impertinent Medling, like you and your Nine. 
 
 <c Be the Matron reftrain’d, as your Edidl directs; 
 w But allow me to make her more fit for her Sex. 
 
 “ Let her thus be ere& ! (Here Jhe held out her Fan ) 235 
 “ And be fuperinduc’d all the Virtue of Man! 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Mr* nomen Tu, & Mas, 
 Rythmicique poetillae, 
 
 When Daphne was changed into a 
 Laurel, her Arms were the Branches, 
 and her Hair the Leaves. 
 
 Irfyrondem crines , in ramos hrachia 
 erefcunt . Ovid Met. 
 
 Of thefe were afterwards made the 
 Crowns of Viftory for Emperors and 
 Poets. 
 
 O quam magni ? 
 
 i.e. O quam magni afimes ? Tir. Oen. 
 
 Tu & illae—/. e. Tu iff Mufa tux. 
 
 You and your Nine. You and your 
 Mufes. 
 
 Ver. 235. Let her thus be Ereft ! 
 
 &c. 
 
 Ut flabellum hoc, C 
 Novi genetrix amor is, 
 
 Ut hoc meum producatur, 
 
 Requies cui, nec mora datur : 
 Sefquipede vel longa fit; 
 
 Viri virtus indita fit ; 
 
 Nec Priapi valdior mos fit, T 
 Nec Chau cert toties poffit S 
 
 Cantoclarus ne> ft bos ft. J 
 
 I am furprifed to find all the Latin 
 
 Commentators fo much puzzled how t <3 
 fill up thefirft Verfe, where the Blank is 
 left. It muft be a Rhime to Amoris . I 
 think there is but one Word, and that 
 a Term of Art, which can properly fup- 
 ply it. 
 
 Nec Priapi, &c. 
 
 Priapus was the Son of Bacchus and 
 Venus . The Romans made him the God 
 and Keeper of their Gardens, which he 
 was to defend from Robbers and Crows. 
 Cufos Furum atque Avium. He was wor- 
 fhipped with peculiar Honours at Lamp - 
 facusy where Ofris having confecrated to 
 him a Phallus of Gold in Memory of a 
 Wound he had received in the Groin, 
 the Priefts of this God, forgetting the 
 Reafon of the Confecration of the Phallus , 
 introduced a great many Impurities into 
 their religious Ceremonies : And when 
 afterwards the Statue of Priapus was e- 
 re&ed in any Place, the Pudenda were 
 always made of an enormous Size. 
 
 Chau cert ■■■■ • Cantoclarus. 
 
 The Poet here alludes to the following 
 Verfe in Chaucers Tale of the Nuns 
 Prief : Or, The Cock and the Fox. 
 
 1fetljereD tier a IjunD^eD time* a Dap. 
 
 Chanticleer is the Name of the Cock. You 
 may find this Tale among Dry dens Fa¬ 
 bles finely turned into modern Englijh. 
 
 ‘‘ Not 
 
 1 
 
1 66 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ Nor Priapus in Adion fhall equal her Fame; 
 
 “ Nor fo oft fhall Dan Chanticleer feather his Dame. 
 
 “ Let her PafTions be ftrong, as her Form is compleat, 
 « AndherNameof Diftindlion be FRiGAthe Great! 240 
 
 “ And? 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 240. And her Name of Dijiinc- 
 tionbe Frig a &c. 
 
 Hac mutata, hem mutetur 
 Nomen quoque : appelletur 
 Friga magna, magna Frcea, 
 
 Friga Frcea, Semi-Dea. 
 
 The principal Gods among the Saxons, 
 before their Converfion to Chriftianity, 
 were the Sun , Moon, Tuifco , Woden, 
 Thor, Friga or Fra a, and Seator. To 
 thefe were confecrated the feven Days of 
 the Week, as appears by the prefent 
 Names of thefe Days among the Germans, 
 Fle?nings and Englijh . Woden was the 
 God of War, becaufe the firft Saxons 
 came out of their Country under his Con¬ 
 duct, and made large, Conquefts. Friga 
 was the Venus of the Saxons, and the 
 Goddefs of all Impurities. She was wor- 
 fhipped in the Shape of an Hermaphrodite, 
 and her Statue reprefented both Sexes. 
 Some Hiftorians call her Freea , and make 
 her the Wife of Woden , the Sir Mars of 
 the Saxons. But the famous Antiquary 
 Verjiegan infills, that her proper Name 
 was Friga , and that from her our Saxon 
 Anceftors called Friday, Frigedeag . In 
 Verjicgan\ Antiquities, you have like wife 
 the Figure or Statue of Friga, (landing on 
 a Pededal, with a Sword in one Hand, 
 and a Bow in the other. She there ap¬ 
 pears more like a Man than a Woman : 
 Only (he wears a kind of Petticoat. 
 W hen I call Friga the Vmus of the Sax¬ 
 ons, you muft not from thence conclude, 
 that (he was a beautiful Perfon, but on 
 
 the contrary, that (he had flrong mafeu* 
 line Features, with a great Beard. For 
 as fuch a Perfon, even Venus herfelf, was 
 reprefented in all thofe Places where fhe 
 was worfhipped, as an Hermaphrodite ; 
 and particularly at Amathus in Cyprus, her 
 Statue was remarkable for its Beard, as 
 Theophrajius informs us. The Verfes 
 which immediately follow thofe I have 
 quoted above, jutlify my Obfervation. 
 
 Nec libido fatiata ! 
 
 Ipfa dixit, quae barbata. 
 
 At affidua fit libido! 
 
 Ipfa, Ipfe fic, quae, qui do. 
 
 That is, “ Let her Appetite be never 
 “ fatisfied! This is my Will and Plea- 
 cC fure ; and I pronounce it with my 
 cc Beard on. I fay again, Let her concu- 
 tc pifcible Appetite continue to the End 
 “ of her Life.” This is the Ipfe, or Ipfa 
 dixit of Hennaphrodite Venus . 
 
 Neque lata, longa veftis, 
 
 Nifi rebus bene geftis, > 
 
 Friga , fepiat id, qui eftis. J 
 
 That is, iC Neither the Petticoats or 
 cc Farthingales (he wears fhall conceal her 
 Cc Metamorphofis , unlefs upon fome ex- 
 “ traordinary Occalions.” 
 
 The Reader will be apt to cenfure me 
 for having tranflated thefe feven Latin 
 Verfes in one Line, which is far (hort of 
 the Original. The Truth is, I was in 
 hade to get rid of this Story of the Meta - 
 morphofts . 
 
 Before I conclude this Note, I think 
 
 my 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 167 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 my felf obliged to inform my Reader, 
 that in the original Manufcript now in the 
 Cuftody of Mr. Grietfon, who firft pub- 
 lifhed this Poem in Latin , are to be found 
 thefe Lines which follow immediately 
 after 
 
 Ne fi bos fit. 
 
 Sit maximitas immanis •, 
 
 Nec, ut alia, fit inanis. 
 
 Seu uxori , feu forori 
 Capaciori , voraciori , 
 
 Cuique commoda fit hcecce : 
 
 Si inire Vaccam, Vaccae. 
 
 I was fome time in doubt whether I fhould 
 mention thefe Verfes, confidering Mr. 
 Scheffer himfelf thought fit to fupprefs 
 them. But they are fo eflential a Mark 
 of the Hermaphrodite’s Transformation, 
 that I could not forbear communicating 
 them to the Publiek. However I have 
 paid fo much Deference to my Author’s 
 Judo-ment, that I have neither tranflated 
 them, or added any explanatory Remarks. 
 
 Some Criticks are of Opinion, that 
 Mr. Scheffer had noOccafion to make ufe 
 of a Goddcfs to effeauate this famous 
 Metamorphofis , but that he {hould rather 
 have permitted the Sorcerefs to transform 
 her felf either by the Power of her own 
 Magic, or the Force of her Fancy; fince 
 thisFvent (as extraordinary as it may feem) 
 is not without an Example in this Coun¬ 
 try: And ifwe examine the natural Hifto- 
 ries of other Nations, we (hall foon be able 
 to furnilh our felves with a long Catalogue 
 of Hermaphrodites. Wanly in his Wonders 
 cf the little World , Chap. 3 3. B. I. reckons 
 up more than 20 Changes of this Kind, 
 and for which he produces his Vouchers. 
 Among the reft he inftances one, related 
 by Pontanus , of a Woman who was 
 changed into a Man, after (he had been 
 delivered of a Son, which fell out in the 
 Year 1496. Another Story is told by 
 
 the fame Author, of a Nun, whofe Name 
 was Magdalena Mugnoz, who in the 7th 
 Year after Ihe had been profefled in the 
 City of XJbeda , was turned into a Man, 
 and thereupon expelled the Nunnery. A 
 Beard grew upon her Chin, and (he called 
 her felf Francifcus Mugnoz. This Francis 
 afterwards committed a Rape, and got a 
 Woman with Child. I chufe to quote 
 thefe two Examples, becaufe they are ex¬ 
 actly parallel to the Cafe of Scheffer’s Her¬ 
 maphrodite, who before (he was changed 
 into a Man was delivered of a Son, and 
 after her Metamorphofis committed a Rape 
 upon one Woman, and got another with 
 Child. 
 
 But to make it evident that fuch a 
 Change may really happen, let me re¬ 
 fer the curious Reader to an Arret of the 
 Parliament of Paris which was iflued no 
 longer ago than laft Summer, I will give 
 you the Story in the Words of a Daily 
 News-Writer, who at prefent is in much 
 Efteem in England. 
 
 London , Saturday , Aug. 24. 1734. 
 
 The following being a very extraordi¬ 
 nary Occurrence, pleafe to take it in the ' 
 Words of our Correfpondent at Paris. 
 
 “ The Daughter of a famous Attorney 
 “ of this City {Paris) who waschriftned 
 “ as fuch, and whofe Sex was never 
 “ queftion’d to the Age of 16, has iince 
 “ changed her Sex; and having thereup- 
 c ‘ on made application to the Parliament 
 “ to be confirm’d in the Privileges of 
 “ Manhood, the Courts, after due Ex- 
 lC amination, iflued laft Week their Arr^t, 
 
 “ that the Perfon heretofore a Girl, (hall 
 
 11 be henceforth deem’d a Man; that the 
 
 “ Baptifmal Name (hall be chang’d at the 
 ‘ c Font to one proper to Men; and that 
 “ (he (hall take Place in the Inheritance 
 “ of her.Father’sEftates accordingly. But 
 “ to this laft Article of the Sentence her 
 ‘ c Younger Brother has enter’d an Appeal, 
 “ alledging, that he is ftill the Elder 
 Son.” Daily Advertifer, 
 
 As, 
 
i 68 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ And, my Friga, to thee, ere revolve many Years, 
 
 “ Shall the Man moft renown’d of Iernes new Peers, 
 
 “ In Return for thy Labours, to honour his Bed, 
 
 “ i Nor * * * * has done more to exalt the great Head) 
 <c In the Plains of S—l—gan a Monument raife, 245 
 <c Where the Centaurs and Satyrs fhall envy thy Praile. 
 What intends the quaint Figure, few Clerks fhall divine j 
 But the Tribads fhall ken it an Emblem of thine. 
 
 For the reft-Don t imagine 1 11 patient endure, 
 
 That my Rightsyou invade, and forbid us procure. 250 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 is 
 
 As for thofe Ladies, who affect to treat 
 Mr. Scheffer as a Villon ary, and ftill con¬ 
 tinue to converfe with the Hermaphrodite, 
 as if Are was a perfect Woman, I am fully 
 perfuaded, that they are not infenfible of 
 her Virility, of which they could give 
 better Proofs than my Author, or any of 
 his Commentators. 
 
 Ver. 241. And my Friga to thee, &c. 
 
 Tempus erit (meis fides 
 Di&is fit) cum pyra-midis 
 Moles tute limil-lima 
 (Laus fed enim tuae prima) 
 
 Alta furgat inftar fani ; 
 
 Quam in agro S - rorgani 
 
 Nunc Milordus, olim J-s 
 
 (Olli nec fublino os) 
 
 Tibi, mea Friga , ponet: 
 
 Sic uxorcula, fic monet. 
 Monimentum hoc amoris, 
 
 Propter capitis honores; 
 pcfignanda tua quo Res. 
 
 1 
 
 This Prophecy hath fince been fulfilled. 
 For about the Time that Mr. Scheffer pub¬ 
 lished thefirft part of his Work, or a little 
 after, a certain great Man of a moft ex¬ 
 traordinary Tafte in Building, creeled an 
 Obelisk in a Field near his Country Seat. 
 All our great Clerks were puzzled to find 
 out the real Meaning of this curious Fa- 
 brick, being fituated in a Place, where it 
 neither ferved for Ufe or Ornament. No 
 one could then penetrate into the Founder’s 
 excellent Deftg'n. Now every Body is 
 furprized, that this.was not fooner dif- 
 covered to be the Symbol of old Myra's 
 Transformationfince it could not pofli- 
 bly mean any thing elfe. 
 
 Tir-Oen, who is full of his Jokes upon 
 this Occafion, hath given us here a very 
 long Note, which he concludes thus: 
 
 Nimirum mihi falfa ref, videtur, 
 
 Inguini fimilis Columna Mir^e. 
 
 ^ er. 250. Float my Rights you invade, 
 &c. 
 
 Tune 
 
 / 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 1 69 
 
 “ Is it fitting that Youth fhould be thus over-aw’d, 
 c< And the Pilgrim, and Stranger depriv’d of a Bawd ? 
 
 “ Tho’ fo bright a Toupee no Afliftance can need; 
 
 « And where’er you addrefs, you are fure to fucceed: 
 
 “ Yet—a Word in your Ear-pretty Daph had been 
 
 won, 2 55 
 
 <f Had the Matron Latona made Love for her Son. 
 
 « But hereafter be cautious, nor cenfure Old Age, 
 
 « Nor, to injure my Friends, interrupt your own Stage. 
 
 “ Let the Tutelar Gods interfere, if they dare! 
 a if I catch ’em—But firft I’ll admonifh the Fair. 260 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 255. Yet- - a Word in your 
 
 Tune noftra lenocinia 
 
 Ear - pretty Daph &c. 
 
 Sed nec Daphne te vitafifet j 
 Miniftrafiet, adjuvafiet. 
 
 Si qua callida matrona. 
 
 Si lenocinans Latona, 
 
 Quos experta eft, amores ; 
 
 Here Venus animadverts with great 
 Warmth on the laft Prohibition contained 
 in Apollo’s Decree, by which old Myra 
 
 was forbid to procure. The Goddefs Suis tUOS fl labores. 
 
 calls this an Invafion upon the Rights of her Latona was the Daughter of the Giant 
 
 Empire, and threatens the Tutelar Gods, Caus and his Sider phcebe, and the Mo- 
 
 if they execute Apollo’s Orders. 
 
 ther of Apollo and Diana . 
 
 See the Story of Daphne , Ver. 145. 
 Book I. 
 
 Ver. 253. The 9 fo bright a Toupee, 
 
 &c. 
 
 Ver. 260. If 1 catch 'em— But firft 
 &c. 
 
 Ego quos.—At at monere 
 Prseftat nurus, & docere, 
 
 Qui, qua, quo nunc pofiint quid ; 
 Ac ut bene curent id. 
 
 Parvo debes nil Amori! 
 Nimium credis tu colori, 
 Crinibufque religatis, 
 Odoratis, fericatis. 
 
 Verms here alludes to Apollo's Beau- 
 Drefs, his Toupet, (Ac. in his Night Ram¬ 
 ble. The whole is fpoken ironically ; for 
 tho’ Apollo was ever young, and the moft 
 beautiful of all the Gods, yet he was un¬ 
 
 beautiful of all the Gods, 
 fortunate in his Amours. 
 
 . ftuUus. 
 
 z 
 
 This is in imitation of Virgil , Mneld. 
 I. where the fame Figure is ufed. 
 ghtos ego. Sed mot os prajlat comp onere 
 
 Thus 
 
170 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 Thus the Goddefs: When Phoebus fmil’d on her, and 
 bow’d : 
 
 Too polite to reply, he withdrew in a Cloud. 
 
 Fame, who heard all that pafs'd, tho’ fhe feem’d to 
 mind nought, 
 
 Flew away to the Phoenix , as fwift as a Thought. 
 
 But for Reafons of State fhe affum’d a Difguife, 265 
 And refembled a Dwarf, with a Pair of Jews Eyes ; 
 Crooked, painted, and broider’d, like Trauluss own 
 Dame; 
 
 And the Servants, who faw her, wou’d fwear, (he’s the 
 
 fame; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 266. And refembled a Dwarf jeaion, which feems to be of more Weight 
 
 is that, which is made by the Dutch Com 
 
 &C. 
 
 Aderat fub ima-g'me 
 Nigra?, duplicis Frokities , 
 
 TijV n<36vw<J6 @- fylvse crebras 
 Cur 'Judaica paJpebrse ; 
 
 V- fcum corpus, fed nec reftum, 
 Tui pi tabe & in tectum ; 
 
 IUuaeque fuco mala?•, 
 
 Pitta vdlis, Aii quali 
 G. u let ;—nec deformior All 
 Et cx gente hasc in- fima ; 
 
 Sic & All ffmil-lima ; 
 
 Ipfa certe-Ipfis-fima. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer’s Defcripfion of Fame is 
 agreeable to what is faid of her in the 
 fourth stneid. 
 
 mentators, who charge it, as an impro¬ 
 priety, upon our Author, for introducing 
 Fame to Sir Mars, in the Perfon of the 
 Frokina , who was the Imp of Myra, and 
 an Enemy to our Hero: Wherefore the 
 Sight of her was always mod hateful to 
 him. But Tir-Oerij in my Opinion, 
 clears this Difficulty He tells us, that 
 the Frokina could ailume what Form fhe 
 pleafed ; that lhe was fometimes the Wife 
 of an Irijh Peer, a grave Matron, and the 
 Mother of many Children ; and at other 
 times (he was brisk and wanton, and put 
 on all the Airs of a Duke's Concubine, or 
 a General’s Miltrefs. In thefe Ia.fl Cha- 
 - 1 _ " ratters, fhe always feemed to have a irieat 
 
 bi IS h “ for si. Mar,, and pre«E, 
 
 y lome k^riticks for in— A ii_r r ... 
 
 } 
 
 } 
 
 , r \ . - J ^Jias 
 
 been cenfured by fome Criticks for in¬ 
 ferring this ( haracter. But this was like- 
 wffie the^ , ate of Virgil, who is feverely 
 repiehended by Macrohius, and others, 
 tor maxing lame a Monfter —An Ob- 
 
 to difcover to him Secrets of States which 
 fhe had drawn from her Gallants Thus by- 
 flattering his Vanity, and treating him as 
 a Perfon of Importance, fhe made him the 
 Inltrument of her ownPIeafures. 
 
 6 
 
 If 
 
Book IV. The TOAS T. 
 
 If the Goflip in propria perfona appears; 
 
 Like a Monfter fhe looks, with athoufand long Ears, 270 
 With a thoufand fharp Tongues, and a million of Eyes, 
 With her Feet on the Earth, and her Head in the Skies. 
 
 Nor a Wonder I deem it, the Donna fhou’d tell 
 All that paffes in Heaven, upon Earth, or in Hell; 
 
 All Advices laft Night in the Cabinet read; 275 
 All the Monarch has whifper’d to Juno in Bed : 
 
 For fhe fees, what no other is able to fee, 
 
 Hears and knows what ne’er happen’d, nor ever will be. 
 Nor fhe drives to oblige, nor fhe fears to offend 
 Whether Mortals, or Gods—Yet to Mars a faft Friend : 
 When he drove the War-Chariot yclad, as a God, 281 
 Spreading Terrors and Death, his Poflilion fhe rode: 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 275. All Advices laft Night See. 
 Quod in aurem Rex Reginae : 
 
 Oh! Regina, qua non fine. 
 
 Et tu, pica pulvinaris. 
 
 Quod cum Jove fabularis. 
 
 Quod nequis videre quivit, 
 
 Nec audire, ilia feivit. 
 
 Quod nec fa&utn eft, nec fit, 
 
 Nec futurum, ilia feit. 
 
 Our Author has borrowed this Part of 
 his Chara&er of Fame from the Trinum- 
 nus of Plautus , where old Megaronicles in¬ 
 veighs againft the Famigeratorts or Tale- 
 Bearers, who make fo much mifehief by 
 meddling impertinently in every Body’s 
 Bufinefs. 
 
 Ver. 281. When he drove the War * 
 Chariot See. 
 
 Currum agit, Se Du&orem 
 
 jEre ciet graviorem. 
 
 That is, whenever fhe found him flow 
 or indifpofed to fight (for fo I underfland 
 graviovetn to fignify here) fhe excited his 
 Courage by the warlike Notes of her 
 T rumpet. 
 
 In the Jmfterdam Edition, for Dutto- 
 rem we read Dofloreffly and the fir ft Line 
 runs thus; 
 
 Currum agit ad Dvfforem : 
 
 jEre ciet, &c. 
 
 which wholly alters the ,Senfe ; and re¬ 
 quires a very different Interpretation. . 
 
 Z 2 Sounding 
 
172 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 Sounding dreadful her Trump, all his Foes (he de¬ 
 fied : 
 
 And altho’ he’s ungodded, file ftill is his Guide. 
 
 Still fhe ventures her Neck, to demonftrate her Love, 
 By revealing Court-Secrets debated above. 285 
 
 Firft fhe told him, How Phoebus furvey’d the old 
 Wife, 
 
 And obferv’d all her Arts, and examin’d her Life; 
 
 And condemn’d all he faw, or pretends to forefee. 
 (Here fhe read and expounded the famous Decree.) 290 
 Then minutely relating, How Jove was provok’d 
 By the Confort’s Addrefs, and how Momus had jok’d. 
 She allur’d him (but fpoke it with Tears in her Eyes) 
 That he ne’er cou’d have Hopes to revifit the Skies. 
 With a Smile fhe proceeds; to a tittle repeats 2 95 
 All the Paphian had utter’d, her Taunts and her 
 Threats ; 
 
 When fhe raillied the Sun for his Edict Imperial, 
 
 And prefuming to meddle in Matters Venereal 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 285. Still Jbe ventures &c. 
 
 Quae, ut olim, nunc arcana 
 Cceli prodit male fana ; 
 
 Vera falfa fabulatur; 
 
 Capite periclitatur, 
 
 Martis ergo j net donatur. 
 
 } 
 
 He means, that fhe now hazards her 
 Neck by her Treafon, in difcovering the 
 Councils of the Gods, as fhe did former¬ 
 ly by her furious Manner of Driving. 
 
 Here 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 173 
 
 Here (lie added, That Venus (andtho’ fhe fpoke faft, 
 Her Defcription was clear, and her Language was 
 chafte) 300 
 
 Male-creating, had made the old Toast Reparation: 
 And (he fhew’d him the Length of his Wife’s— 
 Transformation. 
 
 Here {hedropt a fhort Curt’fy, and haften’d to Town 
 To report the ftrange News, and old Myras Renown, 
 In the College and Senate, the Tholfel and Court; 305 
 Still enlarging her Theme, as {he made her Report. 
 
 The Chevalier mean while, after lilent Debate, 
 Wifely judg’d this Event was the Cribs of Fate. 
 
 In a Rage he rofe up and caft off his old Frize ; 
 
 And the Flame, was like Lightning, which flafh’d from 
 his Eyes. 34 0, 
 
 Like a Drum his Heart beat, and it burnt like a 
 
 Coal; 
 
 Equal Courage and Hatred polTefling his Soul. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 299. . and tho' Jhe fpoke 
 
 fafi &c. 
 
 Raptim—fed & verba plena, 
 
 Nec obfeura, nec obfeoena. 
 
 The Poet feems to applaud himfelf, that 
 he has been able to deferibe the Metamor- 
 phofts of Myra without making ufe of 
 any Terms, that can pofiibly offend a 
 model! Ear, 
 
 I 
 
 “ What! 
 
* 7 + 
 
 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 What! becaufe in his Cups he once mention’d her 
 
 Name, 
 
 <c Shall Apollo (he cry’d) thus chaftife the old Dame ? 
 “ And {hall 1 God of War, to whom Vengeance be¬ 
 longs, 315 
 
 iC Ever patient forbear, and fubmit to my Wrongs ? 
 
 < c Cou’d 1 now at threefcore a Wife-Monfter defeat; 
 
 “ (Be the Labour Herculean^ the Glory is great!) 
 
 « Such a Conqueft wou’d furely loft Honour reftore; 
 
 « And the Drubbing might then be remember’d no 
 more. 32a 
 
 Thus the Warrior—And grafping his Couteau de Chajfe , 
 Thrice he brandifh’d the Weapon, and thrice made a Pafs. 
 Then he flung on his Muff, which no other cou’d wield, 
 Of a Sable fo thick, it might ferve for a Shield: 
 
 And altho’ the bright Fur to his Belt was made faft, 325 
 Yet it haply thus prov’d to be Armour well plac’d. 
 
 Then 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 313. What! becaufe in his Cup 
 &c. 
 
 Cafu forte vefpertina 
 Quod Apollo inter vina 
 Nomen Mirce pronuntiavit, 
 Nonne Mir am caftigavit ? 
 Omnia Phabo an licere ? 
 
 I.iceat Deum me praebere. 
 Virum faltem :—ft non ; tier c 
 
 l 
 
 Tir-Oen here remarks, that the War¬ 
 rior wou'd infinuate the Injuftice of Apol¬ 
 lo's Edict, tho’ he rejoiced that the Sor- 
 perefs had been thus chaftifed. He did 
 not allow any A£ts of Vengeance to be 
 lawful, in which he was not principally 
 concerned, 
 
 Ver. 325. -- to his Belt was made 
 
 faft , &C. 
 
 Sed, 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 175 
 
 Then a Full-bottom’d Peruke with care he unfolded, 
 By the Fates long preferv’d, elfe his Confort had fold it: 
 ’Twas invented by Pallas , and fafhion’d by Van> 
 
 As Tradition reports, in the Firft of Queen Ann : 3 30 
 So enormous the Bulk, and fo pond’rous the Hair; 
 Such a Cov’ring no Head, that was mortal, could bear : 
 
 Modern Mortals, I ween, as are born in our Days, 
 
 To adorn a Court- Circle, Aflemblies and Plays. 
 
 Nor unequal the Length, for it flow’d to his Knees: 3 3.5 
 Fifty Bobs it wou’d make, or a hundred Toupees. 
 Then he kemb’d it with Art; and, as Beaux Alamode 
 Dight their Fore-locks and Tails, fo unfparing he 
 ftrew’d,. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Sed, de cingulo dum-pendet 
 Pellis ifta, vim defendit. 
 
 See Ver. 202. Book II. 
 
 Ver. 329. 9< Twas invented by Pallas, 
 &c. 
 
 Quantum hoc Capillamentum 
 Multi-color ! quod inventum 
 Arte Palladis, & Vanned 
 Studio textum Primo Annce. 
 
 Nec fubiret quis cervice 
 Illud, immortalis nifi. 
 
 Haud mortals bis fex tales. 
 
 Nunc producit tellus quales. 
 
 Thefe Full-bottomed Perukes were in 
 Fad.ion at the beginning of Queen Amis 
 Reign. The Price- commonly, paid for 
 
 one of them was 40 or 50 Guineas. I 
 fuppofe it was intended to preferve the 
 Fattiion and Remembrance of thefe fa¬ 
 mous. Periwigs, that we find a Pattern of 
 them carved in Stone, and placed in JVeJl- 
 mirifter Abbey. It ferves there to cover the 
 Head of a brave rough Admiral. Me- 
 thinks I could have directed the Statuary 
 to a fitter Subject. 
 
 Vanned' 
 
 Studio 
 
 Van Horutener , a Dutchman , a noted 
 Periwig-maker in thole Days. 
 
 Neciubiret, &c. 
 
 This is imitated from Virgil , ALneid 1 2. 
 Ver. 899. But it is much more judici- 
 oufly applied here than in the Koman 
 Poet. With all due Reverence to the 
 Afhes of that divine Author be it fpoken! 
 
 Well 
 
17 6 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 Well diffus’d thro’ the whole, a full Bag of fine Meal; 
 More than erft the fam’d ‘Trompington Miller durft 
 fteal. 34° 
 
 Molly trembled to fee, nor was able to fpeak, 
 
 Such a Wafte, as deftroy’d all the Pies of the Week. 
 
 But the Hero this Lore in a Vifion was .taught: 
 
 And perhaps it was Phcebus> wh rj 4 nfp g=d the Thought. 
 Me the Bard let him alfo inftrud in a Dream! 345 
 
 Let me fancy the Liffy> like Helicons Stream! 
 
 Let my Notes, as my Subjed is martial, be fhrill! 
 And the Mufes here fhape to a Trumpet my Quill! 
 Now the Warrior impatient his Arms to eBay, 
 
 Drove as furious, as Jehu , to UJhers new Quay. 350 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 340. More than erjl the fam'd 
 Trompington ifc. 
 
 Et menfuram hercle tantam, 
 
 Ifte Trompingtomits quantam 
 Haud furatus dim, polli¬ 
 ng. Timore pallet Molly. 
 
 See an Account-of the Miller of Trom¬ 
 pington in the Reves Tale in Chaucer. 
 Molly was the Knight’s Houfe-keeper. 
 
 Ver. 347. Let my Notes , as my Sub¬ 
 ject is martial , &c. 
 
 Bella plufquam hasc civilia, 
 
 Di£tu licet difficilia, 
 
 Mufa, die: 
 
 Sed materire aequi-para 
 
 Carmen- Laratantarara ! 
 
 Mufa, fic. 
 
 This feemsto bean Imitation of Tajfo, 
 Cant. 6. 
 
 Hor qui, mufa rinforza in me la voce , 
 Et furor pari a quel furor m’ infpira: 
 
 Si che non fan de Popre indegni i Car mi, 
 EtP efprimail mio Canto il fuon de Par- 
 mi. 
 
 Ver. 349. Now the Warrior impatient 
 &c. 
 
 Rem tentare jam optabat 1 
 
 Armis; & cui Ufher dabat S 
 Nomen (iras nec fraenabat) j 
 
 Curru vehitur in vicum : i 
 
 Verbum dicam haud iniquum, > 
 Conferatur Jehu fi cum. J 
 
 I have before informed the Reader, that 
 the Hermaphrodite lived in a Street (in 
 Dublin) which is called Vjher’s if toy. 
 
 Here 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 177 
 
 Here alighting he enter’d Androgynes Dome; 
 
 Tho’ a Brazen-Head fwore, That fhe was not at Home, 
 Nor recall’d him a Voice, as he mounted the Stairs; 
 Tho’ the Treble fqueak’d thrice. Sir, my Lady s at 
 Prayers. 
 
 Nor abated his Rage, when he reach’d the firft Floor: 
 But, without previous Rap, he forc’d open the Door; 3 5 6 
 And furpriz’d (well-a'day!) the great Friga and Frow 
 
 In a Pofture-the Mufe muft not venture to (hew 1 
 
 So uncommon, it fcap’d Peter Aretines Touch; 
 
 Nor was practis’d before, but on Sappho's own 
 Couch. 360 
 
 Thus the Warrior began ; “ Pretty Lambkins at play ! 
 
 « Lo the Fervour, with which great Hermaphrodites pray! 
 The Virago bounc’d up ; and, her Jmpy bedight, 
 Unabafh’d fhe advanc’d, thus upbraiding the Knig'ht: 
 
 “ What intends this Antique? What are you, who 
 
 prefume 3^5 
 
 « To difturb my Repofe, and intrude to my Room ? 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 358 .In a Pofture - the Mufe 
 
 &c. 
 
 Queis figuris, quibus modis, 
 Viribus, Venereis nodis. 
 Inter fefe amplexantur, 
 
 Inter fefe implicantur j 
 Mu las nefas caftae fari. 
 
 Tales aufus nec tentare 
 
 Ifte Petrus -at al-ibi 
 
 Forfan Sappho fecit fibi. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer here alludes to a Set of ob- 
 fcene Pictures, which are called Peter 
 Aretines Poftures. Myra invented many 
 others, and made Additions and Improve¬ 
 ments to Aretine 's CoHedtion. 
 
 A a 
 
 “ Do 
 
i 7 8 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 “ Do you come here to rob, or my Manhood to try ? 
 u Or has Traulus prevail’d on your Knightfhip to Ipy ? 
 
 Boaft the noble Adventure; indulge your mad Spleen; 
 “ Bid your Trumpeter found the rare Feats, you have 
 feen ! 37a 
 
 “ Say, to help the good Wife, I have form’d a new Plan, 
 “ And, as thou art turn’d Child, I am ripen’d to Man; 
 a That I double the Favours, which now I bellow, 
 u And create two Cornuto f, embracing one From ; 
 
 Thus infulting Ihe Ipake. Al Icornfully hill, 375 
 Till the Ellin he lilenc’d by lhaking his Fill. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS, 
 
 Ver. 368. Or has Traulus prevail'd 
 &c. 
 
 Anne doles nunc molitus, 
 
 Novos hofce concu-bitus 
 Juflit Traulus explorare ?' 
 
 Anne palam praedicare ? 
 
 TheSorcerefs mortally, hated the Huf- 
 band of her Imp, and ever abufed him in 
 the grofleft manner behind his Back. 
 And yet Ihe had fuch an Afcendant over 
 him, that he did not dare to go abroad 
 but in her Leading-firings. 
 
 Ver. 370. Bid the Trumpeter found 
 
 &c. 
 
 Infla buccas ; buccinato ; 
 Buccinaeque hoc mandato 
 Fames opus : indici-a des : 
 
 Die, quae pofiumus Tri-bades . 
 
 Fame was Sir Mars his Trumpeter; 
 and employ’d by him to fpread all his 
 Stories, whether political or amorous, true 
 or falfe. 
 
 Ver. 379. And create two Cornuto’s 
 Hanc mellillam ineundo, 
 (Ineundo, dum abundoj 
 Eccos duos foedos feros. 
 
 Senes faciam corni-geros: 
 
 Sic & aliis nuptis fiet ; 
 
 Sic mcechorum minus fiet. 
 
 Here the Hermaphrodite boafts of the 
 great Benefit Ihe had received by her Me- 
 tamorphofis, as being now in a Condition 
 to make two Cornuto's (meaning Sir 
 ■Mars and Traulus) by embracing one 
 Wife. At the lame time Hie infinuates, 
 that Ihe was able to do rhe Work of an 
 hundred Men, and could in her own Per- 
 fon, fupply the Neceflities of all the mar¬ 
 ried Women in Dublin . 
 
 4 Thus 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 179 
 
 Doubled hard was his Fift, and tremendous it {hook; 
 And fo felly he {lamp’d ; and fo Hern was his Look! 
 For a Shelter fhe fled under Frigas broad Hoop; 
 
 As a Biddy-Chick flies to the Hen in a Coop. 3 80 
 
 Here we leave her (thus lings my Friend Kelly) 
 
 Like the Daughters of Sin in the Semivirs Belly. 
 
 But 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 } 
 
 Ver. 281. Here we leave her ySttytt 
 &c. 
 
 Belle habet; nam ha-bet 
 
 Concham Frigce. Sic ? 
 
 Sic, fic, fi qua fides Kelly , 
 
 Qui primordia belli belle 
 
 Scripfit, fales tindlos felle. 
 
 Habet Concham, i. e. tenet , po/Jidet. 
 Pifciculi parvi in Concham hiantem inna- 
 tant. Cicero. This Expreffion gives us 
 a proper Idea of our Author’s Meaning. 
 
 igeJbet; The Dutch Commentators 
 pretend, that Be/het is an Error of the Prefs, 
 it being neither a Latin ora Greek Word; 
 and they think, that in the Place of it 
 we ought to read Latet. But Tir-Oen 
 allures us, that he faw a Manufcript in 
 Scheffer's own Hand-writing, which has 
 Be/het. He adds, that Be/het is an old 
 Englijh Word frequently ufed by Chau¬ 
 cer, which fignifies, Hid, or Shut up. 
 Andfo we find it explained in the Glofla- 
 ries. I wonder it fhould have efcaped the 
 Notice of Cuper and Wetjlein, becaufe 
 the Word is originally Dutch. 
 
 Si qua fides Kelly. 
 
 Father Kelly of Sligo, wrote a Poem in 
 Hexameter Verfe, intitied, Man Crtm- 
 tus, feu, Duellum Joculare. jThis Poem 
 was publilhed in Dublin in the Year 17 3 
 The Reader by comparing it with this^ 
 
 laft Book of Scheffer , will perceive how 
 far our Author has been obliged to the 
 Reverend Father. The Place particular¬ 
 ly hinted at by Mr. Scheffer , is in thefc 
 Lines. 
 
 Indignat a viri gejlus a/Jibilat Ali. 
 
 At ftmul ac Pygmcea infiat, pugnumque 
 minatur , 
 
 Iliafugit retro mitigens, £sT (credite vati) 
 
 Afcendit molem , latitat que in gurgitt 
 vajlo 
 
 Immanis MiRiE* 
 
 Our Author, vfrho has all along been 
 careful to relate only Matters of Fad, 
 queftioned perhaps the Verilimilitude of 
 this Circumftance, and therefore would 
 not venture to mention it without a 
 Voucher. But notwithftanding his Doubts, 
 yet the Truth of this Account has never 
 been fufpeaed by the moll knowing Na- 
 turalifts of this Hand. And 1 well re¬ 
 member the following Epigram, which 
 was written upon the Marriage of Mars 
 and Myra. 
 
 Why fay you, Sirs, thylke Knight’s pof- 
 fell? . „ rJJ - 
 
 Since Venus kindly made the Wedding ; 
 That her old Servant, fo d.ftrefs d. 
 
 Might have a Hole to put his Head in. 
 
 Ver. 382. Like the Daughters of Sin 
 a 2 &C ‘ Monftra 
 
180 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 But the flippery Floor, over-flow’d by her Fright, 
 
 To revenge the Affront, had nigh tript up the Knight: 
 Tho , in wreftling well skill’d, he recover’d his Feet; 
 Yet his Vifage turn’d pale, and he felt his Heartbeat. 386 
 111 prefage! And had Friga but made a right Ufe 
 Of a Hint fo inftru&ive, and op’d her own Sluice; 
 Swelling high the Imp's Pool in a Torrent had run; 
 And the Battle had ended, as foon as begun. 390 
 Tho fo fearlels, the Knight muft have quitted his Ground, 
 Or oppofmg the Deluge (ftrange hap!) have been 
 drown’d, 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Monftra quae inferna genuit 
 Filias Mors : (nec adhuc fenuit.) 
 Mortem Milton fecit marem. 
 
 Quid ni ego Frigam parem ? 
 
 See in Milton'sParadife-Loft , Book II. 
 the Defcription of the Hell Hounds be¬ 
 got by Death , by ingendering with his 
 Mother Sin. 
 
 Ver. 383. But theflippery Ploor &c. 
 Martem mala terrent lata j 
 Qui veftigia titubata 
 Vix te-nuit; vix evafit. 
 
 Nunc dum turpis madefacit 
 Pavimentum ani-cula 
 Ales, quafi meiens mula.. 
 
 Imnc, mcecha, nec callidior, 
 
 Sed nec mcecha •, te putidier 
 
 Verba dat. 
 
 I nunc , probri me incuja : 
 
 Quam tm, rixam tibi Mufa 
 Exci-tat. 
 
 Te, quee tuos lumbos fregit, 
 
 In Iambos meos egit, 
 
 Plus quam fat. 
 
 The Beginning of this famous Combat 
 affords a moft ridiculous Image, and 
 would be a proper Subject for a Droll 
 Painter. 
 
 The Verfes in Italic Chara&ers are an 
 Apoftrophe to Myra's Imp. They are 
 not amifs in the Latin: But the Nar¬ 
 ration would be too much interrupted by 
 a Tranflation. 
 
 Meiens mula. 
 
 qualem defejfus in aflu 
 
 ivlcicntis J 2 iulf£ e Catullus# 
 
 But 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 181 
 
 But a Conqueft unmanly great Friga rejected, 
 
 Nor the Force of her Arm or her Prowels fufpe&ed. 
 Too fecure ! that Sir Mars durft not offer a Blow, 395 
 She employ’d all her Thoughts how to raiily her Foe. 
 With her Foot a long Stream from the Puddle ffie drew: 
 <c Lo 1 a Granic, or Boyne for a Warrior like you ! 
 
 “ Or a Sea, if I pleafe; and as Hercules thus, 
 
 “ Or his Pillar I Band, and pronounce my Ne plus. 400 
 Scoffing thus as ffie fpake, making aukward Grimace; 
 At a Ford the Knight pafs’d, and fpit full in her Face. 
 Such a fudden Affault the Virago alarms, 
 
 Turns her Scorn into Rage : Rage furniffies Arms. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 397.. With her Foot &c.. 
 
 Pes (ex pede Frig am!) magno 
 Duxit ex urince ftagno 
 Lineam rectam : rivum finxit. 
 Quis commodius metuit, minxit ? 
 Granicus, feu Boyna hie fit! 
 
 An tranare, miles ? dixit. 
 
 Si-Hercu-lem eccam Free am, 
 
 Aut.columnam Herculeam ! 
 Viden’ ? Hie oceanus fit: A 
 
 Marfquc musfit, fi Mars mullet. £ 
 Mars fit, mus fiti hie, NeT 
 Plus sit. j 
 
 The Granicus is a River of the lelfer 
 Phrygia, which Alexander parted, when 
 he fought the great Army of the Perfians. 
 
 The Boyne is a River, which hath been 
 fufficiently celebrated by the Vi&ory ob¬ 
 tained by King William. 
 
 Columnam Herculeam! 
 
 The two Hills, which are feen as you 
 enter the Streights of Gibraltar , one on 
 the Barbary Side, and the other on the 
 Side of Spain, are called Hercules’s Pillars: 
 Becaufe ’tis faid, that here Hercules end¬ 
 ed his Travels, and fet up two Pillars, 
 as the Bounds of the World, with this 
 Infcription, Ne Plus Ultra, fince there 
 was no going further by Land. 
 
 Ver. 404. Furns her Scorn into Rage: 
 
 Rage &c, 
 
 Siccin’audes ? Sputouror, 
 
 Spurce, tuo ? Duro, duror j 
 En! miniftrat arma furor. 
 Whoever hath read Scheffer’s Poem in 
 the Original, muft have obferved, that 
 our Combatants are apt to beftow very 
 foul Names on each other. It would be. 
 indecent to give them any Room in my 
 Tranflation; but they found well enough 
 in Latin, and I believe they were proper¬ 
 ly applied. 
 
182 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 In the Room were two Tables: One rich in decay, 405 
 Lac’d and mantled with Velvet, was hollow’d for Play: 
 Here the Bales of new Cards in good Order were plac’d, 
 And the Surface with Shoals of Pearl-Fifties was grac’d. 
 But the other, rare Work of the Artifts of Inde, 
 
 Bore a Service for Tea-Compotations deflgn’d ; 410 
 
 Cups and Saucers well-fuited, and call in a Mould ; 
 All inlaid with bright Flourets, and border’d with 
 Gold: 
 
 Nor thy Toilets, great * *, fuch Colours difplay y 
 Nor thy Perfon is form’d of fo noble a Clay. 
 
 Now a handful of Fifties old Friga fnatch’d up, 415 
 Aiming right at his Head ; now a Saucer or Cup: 
 
 But his Caution in War the Knight had not forgot, 
 And by opportune Ducking avoided the Shot. 
 
 Tho’ his Cranium efcap’d, not unhurt he remain’d: 
 
 For by bending fo oft the Back-Mufcles were drain’d; 
 
 And a Motion fo vi’lent rais’d afthmatick Cough, 421 
 Forc’d the Buttons from old Galligaskins fly off. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 413. Nor thy Toilets, great * * 
 fuch Colours &c. 
 
 * * * * nec colores* 
 
 Quos fumpfifti, fplendidiores ; 
 Nec praecordia veftra puto 
 JFingi meliore luto. 
 
 Tir-Oen pretends to know the Lady, 
 to whom Mr. Scheffer addrefles himfelf in 
 this Place. But then, fays my Country¬ 
 man, Haud nojirum eft Commentariolo 4±- 
 vulgare , quod tpfe Poeta vel nos celare vo - 
 luit. It does not become me to difcover 
 “ what the Poet has endeavoured to con - 
 “ ceal even from us. 
 
 Thus 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 183 
 
 Thus embarrafs’d, and pain’d by his Strains and his 
 Stitches, 
 
 Ere the Knight could recover his Breath or his Breeches, 
 The Virago remarking his Points were untrufs’d, 425 
 Sudden drew out her Bodkin, and made a Home- 
 
 thruft: 
 
 Cou’d fhe touch the foft Part, where he fuffer’d before, 
 Like a Cur-Dog, fhe knew, he wou’d run and he’d 
 
 roar. 
 
 But her Effort was vain: For the fhagged old Muff 
 Well refilled the Point, as a Sev’n-fold of Buff. 430 
 And, as now fhe endeavour’d to draw back the Spear, 
 With a brawny broad Palm twice he meafur’d her Ear. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 42 7. Cou'd fhe touch the foft 
 Part, &c. 
 
 Ah! ft acu, utTydides 
 Haft a olim, (feria rides ?) 
 
 Magna Martis tangat rem •, 
 
 (Res nudata auget lpem :) 
 
 Tunc, quifortiter pugnabat, 
 
 Et minaciter latrabat, 
 
 Caudam trahens ulularet j 
 Ulularet, terga darer. 
 
 Canisenim eft viUaticus 
 Ille n.ofter Mars venaticus. 
 
 Homer tells us, that Mars was wound¬ 
 ed by Diomed in the Groin, which made 
 him run away and roar, as is defcribedin 
 the Note on Ver. 217. Book I. 
 
 7 k mffer exc lamas, ut Steutora vincere 
 
 PW*> 
 
 Velpotius quantum Gradivus rio- 
 
 MERICUS. J U V- 
 
 Rem acu tangere , in Plautus, fignifies, 
 T7 hit the Nail on the Head. It has a 
 different Senfe in this Place. 
 
 Ver. 430.- as a Sev’n-fold of Buff. 
 
 That is, as a Shield or Buckler lined 
 with feven-folds of Leather j for fo it is 
 in the Original. 
 
 Ut ieptemplex clypeus; quafi 
 Mars hie lim'd is Ajaci. 
 
 Dominus clypei feptemplicis Ajax. Ovid. 
 
 The Buckler of Turnus was made in 
 the fame manner. 
 
 Orafque recludit 
 
 Lorica , df clypei extremos feptemplicis 
 Orbcs . iEneid. Lib. XII. 
 
 Di’mond 
 
184 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 Di’mond Ring, that was Pendant, imprefs’d a deep 
 Wound, 
 
 And the Walls of the Hotel re-eccho’d the Sound. 
 Such a Rage, as provokes the old Fifh-Wife to fcold, 
 Or a Mifer, or Gamefter, for Lofs of his Gold; 436 
 
 As defcends from the Moon into * *’s great Head, 
 
 Or his Confort has practis’d with * in Bed ; 
 
 Or as Elrington feigns, if in Buskins he’s dreft : 
 
 Such the Fury, which now mighty Frig a pofleft. 440 
 To fupply the Defedt of her Bodkin and Shot, 
 
 From the Grate fhe lug’d out a long Poker red-hot: 
 Nor unskilfull (he couch’d it, and ran at the Knight; 
 Thus at once well effaying to finilh the Fight. 
 
 Fend, ye Gods, your own Hero! In Flanders nor 
 Spain, 445 
 
 Nor where’er in his Youth he had made a Campaign, 
 Was his Danger fo great ; nor in War had he feen, 
 
 By a Daemon invented, this dreadful Machine ! 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 443. Nor unskilful Jhe couch'd 
 it , &c. 
 
 Et igniferam, & vaftam 
 Jam corufcat Saga haftam * 
 
 Et perita coruieare, 
 
 Peritiffima pugnare. 
 
 Tir-Oen informs us, that he hath feen 
 an excellent Picture of the Hermaphrodite 
 by Vanderbank , with a long Poker couch¬ 
 ed in her Reft ; as the Knights-Comba¬ 
 tants with their Spears are generally drawn 
 in Romances. % 
 
 4 
 
 But 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 1815 
 
 But-as feeble Court-Beaux lufty Wood-Nymphs fur- 
 
 prife, 
 
 And prevail by the Snuff, which they caft in their Eyes • 
 Or, as African Monkies will make a bold Stand, 451 
 And repulfe the fell Lion with Handfuls of Sand: 
 
 Such the Art of Sir Mars, when he found his Diftrels, 
 Such his Prefence of Mind, and as great his Succefs! 
 
 For remembring the Arms, which he kept in Re- 
 
 ferve, 455 
 
 Lo ! he fnatch’d off his Wig, tho’ he {train’d ev’ry Nerve; 
 Then retiring three Steps, to avoid the dire Pafs, 
 
 And collect his whole Force, threw it right in her Face. 
 
 Pointed Atoms of Powder, in Friga’s red Orbs 
 Deep infix’d, unrefifting the Fluid abforbs: 460 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 451. Or as African Monkies &c. 
 Aut montana callidorum 
 Sicut cohors fimiorum, 
 
 Peperit quos Jubae, vel uf- 
 ta Abiffinorum tellus. 
 
 Ludolphus , in his Hi (lory of /Ethiopia, 
 informs us, that when a Troop of Mon- 
 kies are purfued by a Lion, which fre¬ 
 quently happens, they immediately run 
 to a Sand-hill, and defend themfelves, by 
 throwing Sand in the Lion’s Eyes. 
 
 Ver. 454. Such his Prefence of Mind, 
 &c. 
 
 Viris, fimiis haud impar his 
 Arte, animoque’'Aj>if. 
 
 Tir-Oen will not allow the Praife here 
 bellow’d upon Sir Mars to be juft: Be- 
 caufe it appears, that he put on the full- 
 bottom’d Peruke with Malice-Propenfe, 
 and with an intent to ufe it in this hoftile 
 manner, tho’ he had not been aflaulted 
 with the Poker. 
 
 Ver. 456. Lo! he fnatch'd off his IVig, 
 
 &c. 
 
 Igneam haftam inhibebat 
 Mars •, in frontem intorquebat 
 Belluae hoc pulverulentum | 
 
 (En rplleftum robur! en turn! V 
 Rabijc Capillamentum. j 
 
 By Pulverulentum, he means, a Wig 
 full of Powder. _ 
 
 B b And 
 
186 The TOAST, Book IV. 
 
 And a Torrent of Tears, while fhe bellows and raves,. 
 Now impetuous defcending, the Salt-Water Waves 
 Roll a dreery wide Wafte all a down her broad Cheeks^; 
 And of all the fine Red only leave a few Streaks. 
 
 Thus a gorgeous crown’d Head, hung aloft for a Sign 
 To invite thirfty Mortals to tipple-bad Wine, 466 
 By the Tempefts of Jove fo disfigur’d I’ve feen, 
 
 That theMufe wou’d fpeak Treafon to call it a Queen. 
 
 Thro’ impatience of Pain, or the fudden Surprife, 
 That her Hands might be free to give Eafe tb her 
 Eyes, 470 
 
 Friga threw down the Poker, which brent, where it lay; 
 And the Mark (that to Strangers is fhewn at this Day) 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 465. 'Thus a gorgeous crown'd 
 Head dec. 
 
 Sic (nam vidi) fie Regina 
 (Qufenam dice ? oh! oh!— Ina.) 
 Purpurata, coronata, 
 
 Cerufiata & aurata-, 
 
 Delicatis dat coenare, 
 
 Vinolentis dat potare^y 
 Quam miratur Regies tribus, 
 
 Et adorat multi-bibus. 
 
 At quum hyemata ploret, ^ 
 
 Jovis nimbo cum laboret ; C 
 
 Tunc Reginam quis adoret ? \ 
 
 O quam foeda tunc Regilla! ^ 
 
 Manet formae pars quantilla! V 
 
 Die viator--Fuit ilia! \ 
 
 Et tu voces mitte moeftas, 1 
 Mufa, pro Regina quae ftas; > 
 
 Si non ;—laefa fit Majeftas. J 
 In moil Countries of Europe , it is cuf- 
 tomary to hang up Royal Heads for Ta¬ 
 vern-Signs, efpecially the Heads of Prin¬ 
 ces Regnant: And this is accounted an 
 high Refpeft, however wretched the 
 Daubings may be. The Heads of Sub¬ 
 jects are never honoured in this Manner 
 while they are living, unlefs they have 
 rendered fome eminent Services to their 
 Country, or are otherwife diftinguilhed 
 by fome fuperior Excellencies, and ex¬ 
 traordinary Merit: Of which I remem¬ 
 ber but three Inftances in my Time, 
 Prince Eugene’s Head at Brujfels, Sir 
 Ifaac Newton’s in London, and the Dra¬ 
 pier s in Dublin. 
 
 4 
 
 Uneffac’d 
 
Book IV. 77 ;? TOAST. 
 
 Uneffac’d by the Rubber, or Carpenters Plane, 
 Like the Blood of St. Becket fhall ever remain. 
 
 Now it was, that great Jove, who the Combat furvey’d. 
 Putting forth his Gold Scales, both the Combatants 
 
 weigh’d; 47 6 
 
 Here he plac’d the huge Friga, there dangled the 
 Knight ; 
 
 And the Gods, who beheld them, were pleas’d with the 
 Sight: 
 
 Mars afcended, as if from the Greeks he had fled; 
 And the Semivir funk like a Statue of Lead. 480 
 Sure Prefage of their Fates!—But fhou’d Scheffer pretend 
 To declare in a Word, how the Battle wou’d end; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Yer. 474. Like the Blood of St. 
 Becket &V. 
 
 Maculifque fanguineis 
 Ut infigne marmor, queis 
 •Quidam Thomas Divus faftus, 
 Quidam Rex eft reus adtus. 
 
 In the Church of Canterbury they fhew 
 fome red Spots upon the Pavement near 
 the Altar ; which, they fay, is the Blood 
 of Thomas a Becket , and cannot be wafh- 
 ed out. 
 
 Ver. 475. Now it was See. 
 
 Ac, ne bellum fine fine. 
 
 Nunc asquato exa-mine 
 JDuas lances, fed au-reas, 
 
 Quas haud fuftinere queas, 
 
 Sator Divum fufti-nuit; 
 
 Horum fata impo-fuit. 
 
 Ecce furgit Mars velocius *, 
 
 Vel, cum fugiat holies, ocyus : 
 Ingens Frigce moles, dum bum- 
 ammacadit, quafi plumbum. 
 Rident Dei Mortem ,, mulam . 
 
 0 rem vere ridi- culam ! 
 
 This is imitated from Homer , Iliad 
 XXII. where Jupiter weighs the Fates of 
 Heitor and Achilles; and from Virgil \ 
 /Eneid XII. where he weighs the Fates 
 of Aineas and Turnus . 
 
 Bumamma , or Bumajlus^ properly fig- 
 nifies a kind of Grape, which is like a 
 Woman’s Teat. But here it fignifies a 
 Woman with great Breads, refembling 
 the Udders of a Cow; Vacca mammam 
 magnitudine referens . Ruaus . 
 
 B b 2 You’d 
 
188 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 You’d objeft, he wants Skill to eke out the Relation, 
 
 Or has fpoil’d a good Tale by an Anticipation: 
 
 Yet you wot here what Homer , or Maro wou’d fay; 485 
 And in Staticks perhaps I’m as learned, as they. 
 
 Well! behold the Don Donna depriv’d of her Arms! 
 What remains for Defence, but to mumble her Charms ? 
 
 Thrice fhe ftampt-and invok’d all the Furies below, 
 
 Or to open her Eyes, or to fetch off her Foe; 490 
 
 Or to change the old Knight to a little grey Rat, 
 
 And herfelf (fuch fhe often hath been) to a Cat. 
 
 But a Damon, when call’d for, but rarely attends, 
 
 And, as Sages remark, flill betrays his belt Friends. 
 This fhe prov’d to her Cofl: Nor herCurfes, nor Prayers 
 Aught availing to raife him, the defpairs, 496 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 491 .Or to change the old Knight 
 &c. 
 
 Ipfe fit exigu-us mus, 
 
 Rufticus mus, vetu-lus mus! 
 
 Ipfa fiem fords felis ! 
 
 Quanta, Hecate, tu velis! 
 
 It is, I think, allowed by all, who have 
 any Skill in the Doflrine of Witchcraft, 
 as the fame is now pradifed in the Bri - 
 ti/h Iflands,and all the Territories thereun¬ 
 to belonging, that Witches, by the Affift- 
 ance of their Imps or Familiars, are at any 
 time able to change themfelves into Cats; 
 that they chufe the Form of thofe Ani¬ 
 mals preferable to all others. At leaft the 
 Truth of this hath never been queftioned 
 
 by thofe learned Men, who have written 
 with the greateft Perfpicuity on this ab- 
 ftrufe Subjed; as the Reader will find, 
 by confulting Glanvil , the Hiftory of the 
 New-England Witches, &c. 
 
 Ver. 496. Aught availing to raife him , 
 the Hockle &c. 
 
 Opem Hecate negabat; 
 
 Vidor iamque dei'perabat, 
 
 Fugam quoque Heterocli- 
 ton. Tig ; Hie, hasc Hockle. 
 
 is a Dutch Word, of the fame 
 Signification with Haeggerre , which our 
 Author ufes in another Place: In Eng - 
 lijh an Hag, 
 
 Moving 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 189 
 
 Moving cautious and flow, or to this or that Side ; 
 
 As a Whale among Rocks, when he lofes his Guide. 
 Now to feize the old Warrior, or find out a Chair, 
 She extends both her Arms; but (he fill’s ’em with 
 
 Air: 
 
 And the Knight, as around her thus darkling (he feels, 
 Steals behind her on Tip-toe, and trips up her Heels. 
 Heavy falls the vaft Lump with a greater rebound, 
 
 Than the Giant, who cover’d nine Acres of Ground. 
 By fo rude a Blow ftun’d, without Motion fhe lies, 505 
 And indignant her Soul feems to ru(h from her Eyes. 
 
 But the Hero well judging, that mafculine Wives 
 Often rife from the Dead, and like Cats have nine Lives,. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver 408. As a Whale among Rocks, Cui porredtum giganteum 
 
 “ r^rrvio praf fnnpm 7.fut reum 
 
 Sic in rupes bellua ruit, 
 Socius pifcis fi abfuit. 
 
 Corpus erat (quern Zw reum 
 Jam peregit) tota novem. 
 Tot a novem ? Sic per Jovem. 
 
 The Poet here means the Giant Tityus, 
 
 nine Acres of Ground. See Odyf.it. 
 
 JEneid. 6 . Ovid. Met. 4 - 
 
 'T'Ko Reader cannot but remark the 
 
 Pondereque (ego ajlo) 
 
 Concidit ad terram vafto, 
 Graviterque Friga fera v 
 Qualiterque, per ju-gera 
 
 4 
 
190 The TOAST. Book IV. 
 
 To affure his Succefs, and the Conqueft compleat, 
 With her Garters faft bound both her Hands, find her 
 Feet: 5 1 o 
 
 Singing loud lo Pceans , when thus he had tied her, 
 Like the Saint on the Dragon, he ftraddled aftride her. 
 
 Happy Thought! For as thus Hood triumphant our 
 Knight, 
 
 The Virago recovring her Senfes, and Sight, 515 
 Strives to break her new Bonds, and the Poker regain; 
 And applies all her Strength: But her Struggles are vain. 
 Such the impotent Effort, which makes an old Goat, 
 Lying bound on his Back, and the Knife at his 
 Throat; 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 V er. 512. Like the Saint on the Dra¬ 
 gon, &c. 
 
 Ut terribilem prsedonem 
 O! Georgi, tu Draconem. 
 
 O ! Georgi! Quid hcec vox ? T 
 Oh ! Non Rex — Sed Cappadox :> 
 Divus idem ■, fed atrox. \ 
 
 St. George the Patron of Eng 1 and. He 
 was a famous Warrior of Cappadocia,^ ho 
 among other great Aaions, flew the mod 
 terrible Dragon that ever appeared in the 
 World, in Defence of a fair Maid. He 
 afterwards fought in Defence of the Chri- 
 ftian Faith, and was crowned with Mar- 
 tyrdom. For a more particular Account 
 P 11s Life and Ail ions, I muft refer the 
 .Header to the curious Hi/lory of the Scoen 
 
 Champions of Chriftendon. There ar c 
 very fair Monuments of his Victory ove** 
 the Dragon to be feen at this Day in eve - 
 jy Town in England. 
 
 The famous Order of the Garter was 
 inftituted in Honour of this Saint. And 
 the Knights Companions are obliged to 
 wear the Image of St. George , trampling 
 on the Dragon, appendant to a Blue Rib¬ 
 bon. 
 
 Ver. 517. Such the impotent Effort , 
 &c. 
 
 Capri fruftra fic barbati. 
 
 Cum jam pedes alligati, 
 
 Ciedi jubet quos tyrannus, 
 
 Lanio viz. Camhro-Britannus , 
 
 Vires, 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 191 
 
 Or a Tortoife, when turn’d to fecure the frefh Prey: 
 So indecent her Pofture! To helplefs fhe lay! 520 
 
 While the Victor infulting now whiftles, now gibes; 
 And at length thefe Conditions of Ranfom prefcribes. 
 Firft, To beg in low Terms ofSubmiflion, her Life; 
 To renounce all the Rights, and the Title of Wife; 
 Reftitution to make him in Bills, or in Gold, 5 25 
 For the Horfes, and Patents, and Plate fhe had fold; 
 Never more to accufe him of Madnefs or Folly; 
 
 Or (J ^uerelie cTAlmcmd) to be jealous of Molly. 
 
 But the Hero’s Demands, tho’ fo juft they were fram’d, 
 The Virago rejecting, thus furious exclaim’d: 5 30 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Vires, vincula ten-tant. 
 
 Tutum iter currunt, nant 
 Mexicans teftu-dines ; 
 
 (Nare, currere fi fines) 
 
 Sin has nautae refupinant, 
 Neque currunt, neque (hei!) nant 
 Malos nautas fed fagi-nant. 
 
 Ut teftudo vi£ta, ita 
 Turpis Friga nunc eft fita : 
 Turpe fita; nec quid quita. 
 
 ■} 
 
 } 
 
 The Manner of taking the Land and 
 Sea Tortoifes, is by turning them on their 
 Backs. See D ampler , &c. 
 
 Ver. 527. 
 &c. 
 
 Never more to accufe 
 
 him 
 
 Tuum Xotty, iaga, dele. 
 
 Nec prastexas veftram culpam ; 
 
 Nec objicias mihi, pulpam 
 
 Crimi'nique noftram Molly ; 
 
 Neeme (f^uerelled*Almandl) olli. 
 
 The two firft'Verfes are varioufly in¬ 
 terpreted by the Commentators. I under- 
 ftand them in this Senfe, You are not at a- 
 ny Time hereafter to call me Fool and 
 Madman, which hitherto have been the 
 ufual Appellations you have given me . 
 
 I have before remarked, that Molly 
 was the Knight’s Houfe-keeper. The 
 Sorcerefs pretended to be jealous of this 
 Wench, whenever (he quarrelled and 
 fought with her Husband, 
 
 “ O ye 
 
The TOAST. BookIV. 
 
 192 
 
 <c O ye Powers of Dis be for ever accurft! 
 
 <c Falfe, ungrateful to all 1 To your own ftill the Worft 1 
 <c Have I conquer’d the Mighty, the Rich, and the Brave, 
 < c Thus inglorious to fall by the Hands of my Slave ? 
 w Ought ye not, ye foul Fiends, to prevent my Dif- 
 
 grace, 535 
 
 u When fo oft, to oblige you, I’ve flood in your Place ? 
 
 “ Will 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 531. <c O ye Powers of Dis 
 &c. 
 
 Furiae! Manes! atri Dim, 
 
 Vos, qui juTa capef-fitis. 
 
 The old Hermaphrodite s Export ulation 
 with the Powers of Dis is very pathetick, 
 and a remarkable Inftance of their Ingra¬ 
 titude. Every Body wondered that fhe 
 would truft them again, after they had 
 deferted her in fuch a critical Jundlure. 
 But Tir-Oen fays, that after the Battle, 
 fhe made a very advantageous League 
 with them — by threatning to repent , 
 and abfolutely refufing to poijon any Man , 
 or ravijh any Woman , or betray any 
 Friend , or Juborn any Evidence , till they 
 agreed to her own Terms. She likewife 
 infilled, that the Articles Ihould be drawn 
 vp by Dill, or /. Occo. 
 
 ■--Atri Dins. 
 
 # °r Pluto, was the Brother of Ju¬ 
 piter and Neptune , and the God and So¬ 
 vereign of Hell. He was likewife the 
 God of Riches, from whence he received 
 his * Name. On that account he was 
 held in great Veneration by the old Pa- 
 and had a principal Share in the 
 •Government of this World. He hill re¬ 
 
 tains his Power in many Places, even in 
 fome Chriftian Countries. In Ireland 
 indeed he has but few Votaries; which 
 I attribute to the excellent Lectures, and 
 exemplary Lives of our Right Reve¬ 
 rend, Self-denying Prelates. Altho’ they 
 are Jhining Lights , and golden Candle - 
 flicks^ yet no-body will prefume to lay 
 they were lighted by Pluto 9 s Fire, or are 
 made of his Metal. 
 
 Ver. 536. When fo oft , to oblige you , 
 &c. 
 
 Vices veftras—Cum in-cubus ; 
 Cum mi barba, horrens rubus : 
 Vices veftras—Cum fuc-cuba ; 
 Cum civilis belli tuba. 
 
 My Verfion of thefe Lines is very im¬ 
 perfect. The Engli/h of them is this— 
 When I fupplied your Place , and was an 
 Incubus with a great black Beard like a 
 Phorn-bufh ; When I fupplied your Place y 
 and was a Succuba , raijtng a Civil War 
 in all Places where I have lived. This 
 lart is a truly diabolical Quality, and for 
 which the Sorcerefs was eminently ditfin- 
 guilhed. She was never admitted into a 
 Houfe, where Ihe did not in a very few 
 Days deftroy the Peace of the Family. 
 
 There 
 
 He is called Dis , in Latin, fn.m Diviti 5^ and Pluto in Greek, from H),qCtgs; which fignifies the fame thing. 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 193 
 
 “ Will ye fuffer this Wretch on my Body to dance; 
 
 “ Nor a Cloven-Foot now to my Succour advance? 
 
 <c You! Who erft, to divert me, have come at a Call, 
 
 “ To imprifon Lord/- s y or to juggle old Vol\ 540 
 
 <£ Or to link a Rake’s Nofe, or to break a Fool s Shins; 
 £C Or to pinch the fat Cook, and make Children fpit Pins: 
 “ But exert, Knight or Devils, your Malice and Wit! 
 
 “ Yet my Mind is Hill free, and I’ll never fubmit. j 44 
 This enrag’d the Chevalier: He chang’d his mild Note; 
 And his Eyes, while he fpake, were as red as his Coat. 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 There are at this Time fubfifting innu¬ 
 merable Quarrels between Fathers and 
 Sons, Brothers and Sifters, Husbands and 
 Wives, &c. which were created by the 
 Artifices of this wicked Hermaphrodite. 
 Father Kelly , in the lame Poem, from 
 which I have quoted fome Lines above, 
 introduces one of the Furies pronouncing 
 her Panegyrick in a great Council held in 
 the Pandamonitim. 
 
 I intend next Winter to publilh a new 
 Edition of Father Kelly 's Poem with 
 Notes, &c. 
 
 Ver. 540. To imprifon Lord I-—-’s, 
 or to juggle old V ol •, 
 
 Sive Traulum occaecantes, 
 
 Sive Vollo verba dantes. 
 
 The Sorcerefs (fays Tir-Oen ) that Ihe 
 might enjoy her Imp Alt with the greater 
 Freedom, ufed to lock up Traulus in a 
 Garret, and confine him there for a 
 
 Month or fix Weeks together by the 
 Power of her Spells. 
 
 Sive Vollo , &c. 
 
 Vol, after his Bankruptcy, was a Slave 
 to the Sorcerefs. He purveyed for her 
 Pleafures, and ferved in the lowed and 
 bafeft Offices; as I have remarked, Ver. 
 224. Book III. 
 
 Ver. 546. And his Eyes -while he fpake 
 &c. 
 
 Tov, Ttjv Pxirocy. ecjues (c|uin fit 
 Fortior) ita farier infit, 
 
 Sanguin* oculos lu lie tills, 
 
 Ut, cum militant, pethis 
 Pectus ;—iagum cum coccineum 
 Sibi induat, non fanguineum. 
 
 Tov, tu'v S'oixay, i. 
 
 VOf . I fuppofe our Author imagined, that 
 
 every School-Boy could fill up ro'v <PdTrxy. 
 
 By tov t j?v he intends to exprels the dou¬ 
 ble Sex of the Hermaphrodite. 
 
 Cc “ It 
 
The TOAST. Book IV, 
 
 « Is it thus, when my Offers are civil, you dare me ? 
 
 « Do you think, at Noon-Day, that your Goblins can 
 fcare me ? 
 
 “ Or fubmit-Or by Styx [here he drew the broad 
 
 Blade) 
 
 “ Shall your Manhood as fmooth, as black Eunuch’s, 
 be made. 550 
 
 Friga heard him, and trembled: The fame PanickFear 
 Seiz’d the Imp in her Hole j if the Imp was ftill there l 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 549. Or fubmit &c. 
 
 Quum infanda, digna ftrige. 
 Vox percuffit aures Friges •, 
 
 Te mi mea ! dixit, ultra 
 Strifto venatorio cultro. 
 Refilieris ? Per Styga 
 Jam inane nomen Friga ! 
 
 Ibi erat - Dum pugnabat 
 
 Friga, Ales febilabat. 
 Nonne feedam illius os 
 (Marti credere ft vos) 
 
 The three firft Words, which have V j dit ^ ter r ext f/ e ' 
 caufed fome Doubts among the Latin e J* VI J US J e 'Vidijfe > 
 
 Commentators, Tir-Oen explains thus, Etiamter occuluijfe ? 
 
 Te mihi ?ned lege dedas . 
 Eunucho Mauro. 
 
 The Verfes in Italic are only in the firft 
 Dutch Edition of this Poem : And Tir- 
 
 Oen fays, they are an Interpolation. I 
 I muft refer my Reader to the Eajlern hare therefore rejected them to my Notes. 
 Travellers, more particularly to thofe, Ibi erat, &c. 
 
 1 1_ _!L„ J _O 7* _ /*f 
 
 who have deferibed the Seraglio at Con- 
 Jlantinople , to be informed in what man¬ 
 ner the black Eunuchs are made, and how 
 they differ from the white . 
 
 And the Imp was Jiill there , if we credit 
 the Knight; 
 
 For he heard her hifs loud in the Heat of 
 the Fight . 
 
 hied: The fa?ne Panick Fear 
 Seiz'd the Imp in her Hole , &c. 
 
 Yer. 551. Friga heard him and trem- 
 
 And as Friga lay Jlretch'd y and was 
 thought to be dead y 
 
 Thrice he faw her peep out ; thrice Jhe 
 drew m her Head. 
 
 As 
 
 > 
 
Book IV. The TOAST. 
 
 As a bold Britijh Sailor, far diftant the Shore, 
 
 All the Sea-Gods defies, bids the Elements roar; 
 
 But defcendsto hisPrayers, is confounded, aghaft, 555 
 When he hears the dire Order to cut down the Maft : 
 So the mighty Virago, whom nought cou’d affright ; 
 Nor the Duns of the Day, nor the Damons of Night; 
 Nor Difeales, old Age, nor a Satire cou’d move, 
 
 Nor the Anger of Phcebus , nor Thunder of Jove , 560 
 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 558. Nor the Duns of the Day , 
 &c. 
 
 Quam nec medici, nec fares, 
 
 Creditores, nec le-mures, 
 
 Nec fenedtus, nec fa-tira ; 
 
 Nec commoveat Phoebi ira. 
 
 Vitiis fais uti callet : 
 
 Ad fal-gura nulla pallet. 
 
 Nimis indlligenter hacfcripfit Schef- 
 ferus. Hermaphrodito difplicet 
 fua feneftusy difplicent denftfftma ruga : 
 rodit animum fatira quantulacunque. Si 
 forte acus vet exiguum digito imprimat 
 vulnus , dolore meiu opprimitur , & ca- 
 tapotium pofiit. Quin etiam perpetua illi 
 anxietas , & mens fcelerum confcia: ad to * 
 nitruum murmura pallet trepidatque : le¬ 
 mur es & Acberuntica monjlra , qua in fom- 
 nis videt , putres artus gelidis urgmt Judo - 
 ribus , qui teterrimo odore and lias de cu- 
 biculo fape depellunt . Tir-Oen. 
 
 Mr. Scheffer, did not well confidcr 
 what he hath faid here . The Hermaphro- 
 dite could not behold her Wrinkles with 
 Patience , and every little Piece cf Satire 
 vext her to the Heart. If by chance Jhe 
 
 pricked her Finger , jhe was fo frightened 
 and afflict ed^ that jhe immediately called 
 for a Phyfcian . A Confcioufnefs of her 
 Crimes created a. perpetual Horror and 
 Anxiety of Mind. She trembled and grew 
 pale , if Jhe heard but a diflant Noife of 
 Thunder. Her Sleep was interrupted by 
 Speftres and Apparitions , which threiv her 
 every Night into a cold Sweaty and ccca- 
 fioned fuch a foul Savour , as frequently 
 obliged her Attendants to quit the Room. 
 
 1 have quoted this Remark of 77 r- 
 Oen y s, to juftify my Note, Ver. 262. 
 Book III, where I fay, that the Herma¬ 
 phrodite is f ixed with a Panicky as often 
 as jhe hears it Thunder : Which indeed, 
 contradicts the Character which Mr. 
 Scheffer gives her in the Conclufion of his 
 Poein. However, he is not to be con¬ 
 demned. He formed his Judgment of 
 the Hermaphrodite by his Knowledge of 
 Men. He did not conceive, that a ra¬ 
 tional Creature could be capable of com¬ 
 mitting daily the moft atrocious Crimes, 
 and yet be afraid of the Gods, or future 
 Punifhments : Lefs hill did he imagine, 
 that a Witch fhould tremble at the Ap¬ 
 pearance of thofe Spirits, who by Com¬ 
 pact were fubjecied to her Commands. 
 
 C c 2 Was 
 
1 9 6 The TOAST. BookIV. 
 
 Was appal’d at the Sight of a rufty fhort Sword, 
 
 And alas i was fubdu’d by the Force of one Word. 
 
 Me an Eunuch! fhe cries; And with fuppliant Hands, 
 Yet indignant fubmits to the Vidor’s Demands. 
 NOTES and OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 Ver. 563. Mean Eunuch! iAc. 
 Me Eunuchum ! malum fucum! 
 Iteratque, me Eunuchum! 
 
 Et turn fupplex tendens manus, 
 Mira-Friga, Andro-Anus 
 Male fita, & ter-rita, 
 
 Indignata, & invita 
 
 Suum cedit jus vidlori j 
 
 Omnia cedit heu ! minori. 
 
 Andro-amu, is a Word compounded by 
 our Author, to fignify an old Hermaphro¬ 
 dite. 
 
 I will conclude with the following 
 Verfes,which, Tir-Oert fays, hetranfcrib- 
 ed from Mr. Scheffer's Manufcript. 
 
 Haec ego jam fenior puerilia carmina lufi. 
 
 Haze, cum Scheffer eram: macerat dum febrisj iniqui 
 Dum me caufidici vexant; dum, nigra lacefUt 
 
 Dente malo Trauu conjux; dum toxica mifeet, 
 
 Accenditque virum cantu, ferrumque dolofque 
 Androgyne molitur atrox; dum denegat audax 
 Depofitum, haud uno contentus crimine, Mavors 
 Hofpitium violans, & avitas Vatis amici 
 
 Res moriens lacerat; dum Perseus pejerat omnes 
 
 Conceptis Divos verbis; dum raucus Iocco 
 
 Bacchatur; VoLLusque fremit; CACusque, nefandos 
 Improbus ipfe juvans Persei MiRAEque labores, 
 
 Dat venum mea regna, abjuratafque rapinas . 
 
 i 
 
 FINIS. 
 
THE 
 
 APPENDIX. 
 
 / N my Notes on the Epiftle to Cadenus, 1 have mentioned a Latin Farce 
 written by Mr. Scheffer ; and I have there fubjoined a Specimen of that 
 Dramatic Performance, as I tranfcribed it from the Authors Copy. 
 This Farce is dedicated to a Woman of Quality, whom Mr. Scheffer files 
 The Great Countess; who, on Account of her many rare and excellent 
 Vertues, is known through all the Britifh lfands by that Title. 
 
 Without any Fee or Reward, or any Intention of flattering this Lady, I 
 tranflated Mr. Scheffer ’j Dedication. At that time, indeed, I refolved to 
 tranflate the whole Farce, and endeavour to bring it on the Englifh Stage ; 
 but when I had examined it with more Attention, I found, that fuch an Un¬ 
 dertaking was not practicable ; or if it were, neither the Times, or my own 
 Circumftances would admit of it. Neither did I intend that the Dedication , 
 which I had turned into Englifh, fhould be made publick ; for no other 
 Reafon, but that I thought then, as I do now, that it wants the Fire and 
 Spirit, which appear in other Parts of Mr. Scheffer ’j Writings. However, 
 I was fo uncautious, as to allow one of my female Friends to take a Copy of it ; 
 and fie let it flip through her Fingers to the Prefs. But it was fo imperfectly 
 printed, that fome particular Paffages, where the Panegyrick was beft turned, 
 were wholly omitted. This hath induced me to republifh it here, to do flu flic e 
 to my own Performance, as well as to the Merit of that great Lady, for 
 whom Mr. Scheffer expreffes fuch a profound Veneration. 
 
 A'-N* 
 
A N 
 
 Epiftle Dedicatory 
 
 T O T H E 
 
 GREAT COUNTESS. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 I Was not long confidering to whom I fhould infcribe this Comedy, 
 fince, whatever I can produce as a Writer, muft naturally belong to 
 your Ladyfhip, who firft infpired me with a Paffion for the Mufes, and 
 infuled that verfifying Spirit, which my own Genius had denied me. 
 The kind Reception, which my firft Effay met with from the Town, I 
 am not fo vain as to impute to my own Merit, but to your great Name, 
 which I took the Liberty of prefixing to that little Piece. And I perfuade 
 ■snyfelf, that the fame Method will again recommend me to the Favour of 
 the Public, and that your Judgment, like the Approbation of other great 
 Connoiffeurs, will ftamp a Value on this Work, much beyond what it 
 may inti infically be worth ; efpecially, fince it is wholly calculated for 
 tlie Infoi mation and Entertainment of your Admirers 
 When I fate down to make this Addrefs to your Ladyfhip, I intended 
 to draw the Portraiture of your incomparable Perfon, and to furprife the 
 World with the Hiftory of your Life and Actions. But while I was in a 
 profound Reverie, meditating the Plan of my future Work, * Cynthiuj 
 
 
 * Cynthius aurem 
 
 llit) admonuit. Virg. Eel. 6. 
 
 fulled 
 
 I 
 
r 
 
 The APPENDIX. 199 
 
 pulled me by the Ears, and in a kind of Pindaric Fury, uttered fome 
 Greek y erfp%J n the Ionic Dialed, which (if I rightly remember them) 
 may be c»v,M«rd thus, though I do not pretend to imitate that Elegance and 
 Energetic Force of Expreflion, which I remarked in his Godlhip’s Num¬ 
 bers. 
 
 Me, and the Mufes could’ft thou bribe. 
 
 And caufe us all our Pow’rs unite. 
 
 To teach thee in Heroic Strains to write i 
 
 •> 
 
 Yet, Scheffer , thou could’ft ne’er defcribe 
 Her matchlefs Figure, her exalted Deeds, 
 
 And the amazing Theme purfue 
 But thou muft make ’em lefs, to make ’em true. 
 
 The fimple Hiftory all Faith exceeds. 
 
 When her own Knight incircled moves. 
 
 He doubts the Virtues, which he proves. 
 
 Old P. -t y who boafts the Nerves of Youth, 
 
 (Renown’d for Probity and Truth) 
 
 Wou’d be fufpeded, Ihould he tell, 
 
 How he attack’d, and how he fell. 
 
 And A — too, once Rival of her Fame, 
 
 By Man unconquer’d, when fhe tries 
 The puiffant Genius of this wond’rous Dame, 
 
 Tinges her fable Cheeks, and raptur’d cries j 
 In Woman can there be fuch Might! 
 
 In Female Friendfhip fuch Delight! 
 
 This Admonition awaken’d me into a Senfe of my own Infulftciency, 
 
 I was convinced, that it would be vain for me to attempt your Panegyric, , 
 when all I could fay, even with the utmoft Stretch of Fancy, would be 
 far fhortofyour tranfcendent Merit, and yet would found like a Romance- 
 to the molt candid and courteous Readers. I lhall therefore refill my 
 prefent Impulfe, call a Veil over your exquifite Form, and leave the molb 
 fhining Part of your Character untouched, till I may be allowed, without 
 the Sufpicion of Flattery, to paint you in your own Colours, and ta re¬ 
 count thofe Herculean Labours, and eminent Abilities, which diftinguifh* 
 
 you* 
 
200 The APPENDIX. 
 
 you from all the other Women of Quality in this, or the neighbouring 
 Ifland. But I mull; beg of you to be affured, that I am deeply-afSiCbed to 
 lye under fuch ReftriCtions, and my Difappointment is the greater, becaufe I 
 fhall not now have an Opportunity of interweaving in this Epiflle a thoufand 
 beautiful Tropes, Metaphors and Allegories, which I had exaCt ly fuited 
 to your Complexion ; befides a choice Collection of exotic Similes, Ala- 
 bafter and Ivory, the Rofes of Sharon , and the Lilies of the Valley, to. 
 gether with the brighteft Jet and Gems of the Orient, 
 
 t And the rich Spangles which adorn the Sky. Waller. 
 
 For die prefent likewife, I muft lay afide tliofe great Examples of An¬ 
 tiquity, thofe finifhed Pieces, which I had ranged in great Order, 
 and which I intended to introduce in this Place, to give the curious a 
 juft Idea of your Ladyfhip’s Perfections. I mean thofe noble Matrons, 
 and ^ Royal Dames, who have been celebrated by Poets and Hiftorians 
 for their unwearied Application of the fame excellent Talents, of which 
 you are Miftrefs. In the Front I had placed that renowned * Eni- 
 prefs, your great Pattern and Prototype, who in the Space of one 
 Night fuccefifvely defeated twenty five ftout Romans , and yet was fb 
 greedy of Fame, that ihe could not be fatisfied with the Number of her 
 Vi£tories. 
 
 However, drat I may with a tolerable Grace acquit myfelf like a modern 
 Dedicator, and pay your Ladyfhip a fmall Part of the Debt I owe you, 
 permit me. Madam, to mention a few of your Chriftian Vertues, and to 
 affure all, who fhall have the Pleafure of reading this Addrefs, that your 
 Goodnefs is equal to your Beauty, and if you are the greateft, you are 
 likewife the beft Woman of the Age in which we live. This is a SubjeCt, 
 which I think is not properly within the Cognizance of Cynthius , fo 
 that I need not fear to be reprimanded by him again •, nor indeed fhould I 
 think myfelf obliged to obey his Voice on this Occafion, (unlefs he was to 
 fpeak from his Tripod, or to bend his Bow againft me) fince I could im¬ 
 mediately call upon all the reputable Inhabitants of our great Metropolis to 
 fecond my Teftimonies, if any Perfon fhould be fo ignorant or unpolite as 
 
 f Atque cnirea fidera cceli. 
 
 * Claudii uxor ; tot nofte *viros pereglt una> 
 
 Au&or obfccejui carminis. 
 
 to 
 
 
 I 
 
VJ 
 
 The APPENDI X. 201 
 
 to charge me with Hyperbole and Fiftion. I begin with that exemplary 
 Piety, which accompanies all your Aft ions, and fhews itfelf to your Morn¬ 
 ing Yifitants in a magnificent Pile of Bibles, 'Common-Prayer Books, and 
 all the moft excellent Manuals of Devotion •, which adorn your Toilet, in- 
 ftead of Implements for Drefs, and thofe falfe Ornaments, which are fo 
 ftudioufly fought after by other Women of your Age and Figure. How 
 often hath that learned and moft religious Prelate, the excellent Hortenfius , 
 beheld with Admiration this beautiful Arrangement ? How often hath he 
 facrificed in your Temple, and warmed his own Zeal by the Fire of yours ? 
 And indeed is there any other among the Dignified Clergy of this Realm, who 
 can behold fuch a glorious Sight, and yet dare to queftion your Care and 
 Concern for the National Church, or the Sincerity of your Converfion from 
 the Errors of Popery ? A Converfion, which was not the Effeft of any 
 Free-thinking Principles, and of a general Indifference for all Religions ; 
 but was the Refult of a long Courfe of Reafoning, and a painful Search 
 after Truth for above forty Years. And I am amazed, that your Example 
 has not yet wrought a Conviftion in the Minds of all the Catholics of Di- 
 ftinftion in this Kingdom, who are nearly allied to your Ladyfhip, or 
 who may have the Benefit of your Inftruftion. 
 
 Your unbounded Charity, which alas! but very few Women of your 
 Quality are inclined to imitate, fhould be celebrated by the Pen of a great 
 Clerk, and fet off with the choiceft Flowers of Pulpit Rhetoric. How 
 many Men are at this Day fupported by your Bounty, and receive from 
 your Hands their daily Bread ; who would otherwife, in this prefent De¬ 
 cay of Trade, be unemployed, and perhaps be looked on as fturdy Beg¬ 
 gars and Vagrants ? Yet you do not by an indifcreet Liberality, give any 
 Encouragement to Luxury and Idlenefs. You relieve no Man’s INecefii- 
 ties, till you have fufficiently tried him, and till you know what Spirit he is 
 of: And whoever is retained in your Service, muft finifh his daily Tafk, 
 before he can claim his Reward. In a Word, Charity is become in you, 
 by the manner in which you praftile it, an Heroic Virtue. For you do 
 not only aflift the Fatherlefs and Widow, but Pilgrims and Strangers, in¬ 
 jured Wives, and diftreffed Damfels, who always find under your Roof a 
 moft commodious and agreeable Retreat •, where their Wants are immedi¬ 
 ately fupplied, and where they enjoy, without Interruption, all the Pleafures 
 of Society, and the Liberties of a free Converfation. 
 
 D d 
 
 Not- 
 
202 
 
 The APPENDIX.- 
 
 Notwithftanding you are here placed in the higheft Rank of Nobility, 
 and have the Soul and the Capacity too of a great Queen, yet you are a s 
 Mod est and as Humble as a Cloiftered Nun. How often doyou vouchfafe 
 to familiarize even with the meaneft of the People? A poor Mechanic 
 hath been fometimes as welcome to you, as the talleft Peer, and a private 
 Centinel has fhared your Favours with the Governor of the Kingdom. 
 When you was lately pleafed to honour with your Prefence the Britijh 
 Court, how was every body charmed with the Politenefs of your Manners, 
 and the Angular Delicacy of your Converfation! How did the Bom Mots ,. 
 which you daily uttered with an inimitable Grace, and in the chafteft Lan¬ 
 guage, command the Attention and Applaufe of all that heard you! But 
 though you are aflured to be thus diflinguifhed, whenever you appear in 
 the Royal Circle, yet you are not a falhionable Courtier, but on the contrary, 
 a profefied Enemy to Battery and Faljhood. You would not defcend to 
 compliment a Minifter for Qualities which he wants, to be Vice-Queen of 
 Ireland-, nor would you proftitute your Honour and Confcience by attefling 
 Falls, of which you are not perfectly well informed, to gain the whole World. 
 When you were lately engaged in a Law Suit, the Succefs of which de¬ 
 pended on your own Teftimony, how unwilling were you to fwear ? And 
 how often did you affirm, even in my Hearing, that you were an utter 
 Stranger to the Matters in Difpute ? Nothing could have led you to 
 make thofe Depofitions, which appear in your Name, but the prevalent 
 Example of the two Great * Captains, and thehoneft Advice of thofe emi¬ 
 nent Lawyers, who are retained in your Caufe. The only Truths, which 
 you neither fpeak, or can fufler to be fpoken in your Prefence, are thofe 
 which concern your felf. For as it muft neceffarily happen, that as often 
 as we approach your Ladyfhip, you muft produce in us the higheft Vene¬ 
 ration, and force from our Lips the ftrongeft Eulogies in Admiration of 
 fo much Beauty, and fuch Accompliffiments : So the Uneafinefs you con- 
 ftantly exprefs in hearing but a Part of your real Character, immediately 
 checks our Addrefles, and filences the moft forward of your Votaries. 
 Then it is, that with Wonder we contemplate your fuperlative Modest v, 
 which like a Burning Glafs, that collects the Rays of the Sun into a fmall 
 Focus, a&s upon us with the Heat and Luftre of all your other Virtues. 
 
 ’Tis this Confideration, and the Fear of incurring your Difpleafure, that 
 
 * in T. S. and Capt. / . 
 
 6 
 
 makes 
 
^7 
 
 The APPENDIX. 203 
 
 makes me haften to a Conclufion, and -omit a long Catalogue of Virtues, 
 which being heightened by a true Spirit of your new Religion, if they 
 were divided among an hundred other Women, would be fufficient t!o 
 infpire them all with the mofi violent Love for one another, and with an uni- 
 verfal Benevolence for Mankind. Juft fo the lovely Colours, which adorn 
 your Face, if they were diftributed and applied by the Hand of Art, or 
 by the Power that made them, would give the fineft Complexions to a 
 whole Afifembly of Females. The Pale, the Yellow, the Alb-coloured, 
 the Livid, or even the Aged and Wrinkled Dame, would be fuddenly 
 changed into a firft-rate Beauty by fuch a Participation of your Charms. 
 
 What I have hitherto laid or intimated, muft be underftood to relate 
 only to your publick Vertues, and thofe pious A6ts, by which you have 
 fo freely communicated yourfelf for the Benefit of your Country. Though 
 on this Account you are here placed in the rnoft confpicuous Eminence, 
 and lhine like a Star of the firft Magnitude : Yet a new World, or rather 
 a Conftellation of Glories would open to my View, were I to defcend into 
 your private Life, and produce you, as a Pattern to your Sex, in the feve- 
 ral Charaflers of an Affectionate Wife, an Indulgent Mother, a Beneficent 
 Mifirefs,. and a Faithful Friend. But thefe are Topics of Praifb I reletve 
 for your Epitaph, which I hope to have the Honour of writing •, when the 
 Gothic Mufe (if perchance her Faculties are not clouded by an Excefs of 
 Grief) fhall confecrate your Alhes, and" raife up to you a Monument of 
 Glory more durable than Brafs or Marble. I am. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 Tour Ladyfhip's 
 mofi obliged, 
 
 mofi humble, and 
 
 mofi obedient Servant, 
 
 Frederick Scheffer. 
 
204 The APPENDIX. 
 
 A * 
 
 LETTER 
 
 FROM 
 
 Mr. Lems O Neil, 
 
 T o 
 
 PEREGRINE 0 DONALD Efq; 
 
 WITH 
 
 Mr. 0 DONALD' s Answer. 
 
 To Peregrine O Donald, m 
 
 SIR, 
 
 Ccording to your Defire, I have dketted Mr. C. to advertile the 
 
 new Edition of the Toast in all our News Papers. Several inge¬ 
 nious Gentlemen, who apprehended, that the third and fourth Books would 
 never be publifhcd, have fince been with me, and exprels much Impati, 
 ence for a Sight of this complete Tranflation. f The mention of the Cop¬ 
 per Plates hath raifed their Curiofity. They expect to fee feme Droll 
 
 * Some People in Dublin pretended to take great Offence at a very harmlefs Adver- 
 tifement, which was lately publifhed there, concerning the new Edition of the Toast ; 
 which occafioned this Letter and the Anfwer. 
 
 f The Copper Plates will not be finifhed till next Winter. Forfeveral Reafons, I could 
 not defer the Publication of my Book till that Time. Wherefore, I fhall be obliged to 
 publifh the Prints feparately. The Reader hath a Specimen of the Engraver’s Skill in the 
 Frontifpiece. 
 
 6 
 
 Figures 
 
The APPENDIX. 205 
 
 Figures in the Frontifpieces, and that the whole will exhibit a juft Repre- 
 fentation of the Charadters and Principal Aftions of the Poem. If yon 
 would be pleafed to fend me a Sketch or Defcription of thefe Engravings, 
 you would put it into my Power to oblige fome of my beft Friends. 
 
 I take this Opportunity of acquainting you with an Incident, which has 
 made no fmall Noife in this City, and in which you are fo immediately 
 concerned, that I think you cannot well avoid taking fome Notice of it; 
 A certain great Lady, who is here diftinguifhed by a Right Honourable 
 Title, has adopted the Character of Myra , and infifts, that Mr. Scheffer 
 has drawn the Pi&ure of her Ladyfhip in the Perfon of his Heroine. She 
 pretends to make this Charge plainly appear from the exadt Refemblance 
 of their Stature, Features, Age and Complexion *, from the Conformity of 
 their Manners, and the Samenefs of their Appetites, Temper and Confti. 
 tution. And farther, as an inconteftible Proof and Explication of the Poet’S 
 Invedtive, fhe is pleafed to urge thofe various-Acts and Exercifes, which 
 are afcribed to Myra ; viz-, her Marriage with an old Gallant) her Love 
 in the Centry Box, her Affair with the Frokin , and her Combat with her 
 third Husband; which, as fhe alledges, are the moft remarkable Anec¬ 
 dotes of her own Life. Nay, fhe lays claim to the very Name of Myra? 
 which, fhe affirms, is her own Property, and was impudently borrowed 
 by our Author, with no other Intent but to traduce it, and point her out 
 in fuch a manner, that no one may poffibly miftake his Meaning. Upon 
 the whole, fhe has pronounced this Poem to be a Mock-Epic, or rather a 
 virulent Satire, levelled againft her Ladyfhip and her faithful Confederates. 
 And fhe has fworn by all her Gods, that both Mr. Scheffer and you fhall 
 be puniffied in a moft exemplary Manner ; and that her Vengeance fhall 
 • purfue you, though you were to retire to a Cave in Lapland. Even poor 
 C. the innocent Publiffier of this Work, fhe has threatned with the Effeds 
 of her Refentment : and for that Purpofe, fhe lately took into her Service a 
 Pair of Knights the moft formidable in this Kingdom, who were equal to 
 any Tafk fhe thought fit to impofe upon them. And if one of thefe 
 Heroes had not been providentially fnatched away, we ffiould all, long be¬ 
 fore this Time, have been made fenfible of the Power of his Miniftry, and 
 have found by fatal Experience, that the Rhetoric of a few Affidavits is far 
 fuperior to the ftrongeft Lines in your Tranflatiom* I don’t know who is 
 
 appointed to fupply the Place of this mighty Warrior, or whether the Right 
 rr Honourable 
 
206 The APPENDIX. 
 
 Honourable may think any Perfon worthy to fucceed him. But be that as 
 it will, you may be allured, that I remain firm to my Engagements ; and 
 that I am neither to be intimidated by the frequent Menaces I receive, or to 
 be corrupted by any Rewards, which may beoffered me, to betray my Trull 
 However, I Ihould acknowledge it as a Angular Favour, if you would fur- 
 nilh me with a Key to the Poem. I imagine, that by unfolding the Cha¬ 
 racters, I lhall immediately undeceive the Right Honourable , and calm her 
 Fury, as well as prevent any bloody Defigns, which may be formed againft 
 us by her new Agents and Bravoes. I have obferved, that a Confcioufnefs 
 ol Guilt is very apt to Apply , and will often find out a Meaning which was 
 never intended. I have alfo been taught, that every Likenefs is not the 
 fame. There was fuch a Refemblance betwixt the two Sofia's, that they 
 could not be diftinguilhed, when they flood together: And yet, the one 
 was a God of fine Parts, and die other a mere mortal Buffoon. I hope 
 therefore, that your Anfwer will fet this Matter in a clear Light -, efpeci- 
 ally, if you will allow me to publilh it, for the InftruClion of the Right 
 Honourable , her Allies, and Advocates. For if I can convince this Myra, 
 that Ihe is not the other Myra , I may expeCt to live in Peace, and to pro- 
 fecute my Bufinefs without Interruption. I am, 
 
 SIR, 
 
 Dublin, 
 Feb. 9. i73f. 
 
 Tour moft obedient, and 
 mofi humble Servant, 
 
 Lewis ONeil, 
 
 P. S. Since I finilhed my Letter, I have received certain Information, 
 that the B. of**, my Lord of*. Captain **, Mr. ***, and Mr. *** 
 have agreed in the Manner of Decyphering Mr. Scheffer's Poem, and are 
 come to a Refolution to fix the Character of Myra upon the Right Honou¬ 
 rable . 
 
 Mr. 
 
The APPENDIX. 
 
 207 
 
 Mr . O Donald’j* Anfwer . 
 
 SIR , 
 
 I Thank you for your Diligence in advertifing the new Edition of the 
 Toast. I have indeed received fo many prefling Letters to haften 
 the Publication of this Work, that I cannot any longer difappoint the Ex¬ 
 pectations of the Town. I confider, befides, that we all grow old ; and 
 if any more of the chief ACtors fhould quit the Stage, before they have 
 gone through their Parts, my Audience would not be fo properly enter¬ 
 tained. Poets and Philofophers are generally in greateft Efteem after they 
 are dead : But a Scaramouch and Harlequin muft be feen in order to be ad¬ 
 mired. When the Curtain is dropt, they are foon forgot; and a bare Re¬ 
 lation of their Feats is feldom worth the Hearing. 
 
 As to the Copper Plates, I believe they may afford a new Diverfion. 
 Burlefque Figures (and Scheffer 's Subjects can furnilh out a fufficient Num¬ 
 ber; fometimes make a more lafting Imprefiion on the Reader’s Mind, 
 than the moft lively Defcriptions.. Even the excellent Wit of Don ghiixot, 
 though it certainly wants no adventitious Ornaments, hath been read with a 
 double Pleafure, fince the Knight has been exhibited in all his different 
 Attitudes by the Pencil of Coypel. I am only concerned, that I could not 
 prevail with the Painter to fend you a Sketch of this Part of the Work : 
 He has conceived a Jealoufy, that his Defigns may be hurt by fuch an An¬ 
 ticipation. But perhaps it may in fome Meafure fatisfy the Curiofity of your 
 Friends to perufe Mr. Scheffer 's original Inftruttions •, which I here inclofe 
 tranflated into Englijh , for the Benefit of my good Lord of * and other 
 great Perfonages, who are highly pleafed with our Author’s Manner •, but 
 by reafon of the Delicacy of their Tafte and Education, cannot be fup- 
 pofed to underftand his barbarous Latin. How far the Painter has varied 
 from thefe Inftruftions, or what he has added or left out, I have not yet. 
 enquired.. 
 
 E X- 
 
The APPENDIX. 
 
 208 
 
 EXCERPTA 
 
 E X 
 
 Schefferi Epiftola Prima ad H--garthum 9 
 pi6lorem apud Britannos celeberrimum. 
 
 I. 
 
 Ptngatur, fac, H—gar the, Sol noftivagus, 
 
 Et no Bis fuperbia, ignefque varii. 
 
 Compotores ajfumat Sol Carbonarium, 
 
 Militemque malum, in lucem ufque canitans. 
 
 Pingatur irrifi gravion vultus Dei 
 Et turpata rugis capitifque nive 
 Mira largiore bibatur poculo. 
 
 II. 
 
 Pingantur eques imps, dives fcelio, 
 
 C — mitijfa Bombardomachide calens, 
 
 Vitriarius Vol, £2? arma Volcania , 
 
 Et Trulla morbis effrafta Venereis, 
 
 Et Mavortis fpolia, pellex , £2? canes, 
 
 Et, qitacunque in corde gejfit, bella horrida. 
 
 A N 
 
209 
 
 The APPENDIX. 
 
 A N 
 
 extract 
 
 OUT OF 
 
 Mr. Scheffer’j' firfi Epiftle to H-garth, 
 a famous Britifh Tainter. 
 
 i. 
 
 RAW the Sun without a Ray, 
 Rambling by a borrow’d Light, 
 Tippling till the Dawn of Day, 
 
 With a Collier and a Knight: 
 Paint his Looks, when he was roafted ; 
 Paint the Donna , whom he toafted. 
 
 II. 
 
 Dra'w a Cully Chevalier, 
 
 Near a crafty, wealthy Fox ; 
 Then a Centry-Grenadier, 
 
 With a C——tefs in his Box. 
 Shew the Bottle-maker’s Gear ; 
 
 And his 'Trulla with a P——x. 
 Paint the Warrior’s Arms and Chatties, 
 And his Bloody-minded Battles. 
 
210 
 
 The APPENDIX. 
 
 EXCERPTA 
 
 E X 
 
 Schefferi Epiftola Secunda ad H--gar- 
 thum pidlorem. 
 
 T)I N G E mihi varias, Hog art he jocofie, figuras ; 
 1 Hie Miram, Mirceque Priapum : 
 
 Jllic aufugiens vaftum fe condat in antrum 
 Androgyni fua parvula conjux. 
 
 Hie ponantur opes •, hie Jlet craticula, qua jam 
 Pergratis fudavit ofellis. 
 
 Hie matrona furens cupiat (mirabile !) Nymphas 
 Permolere , uxorefque alienas. 
 
 Arrigat hie fefe Gafnai fujlis, & heros 
 Magnanimus patienfque feriri. 
 
 'Artibus atque armis aptus feribatur equifque 
 Iracundus homuncio •, cujus 
 Ttemiffum ad talos caput altum ornet caliendrum, 
 Mille latent ubi mille fagitta ! 
 
 Extremam hanc, Hogarthe, mihi concede figuram : 
 
 Adjit qua:dam hirfutior hirco, 
 
 Contemptrix Divum, nulli ante domabilis uxor % 
 Qua me turns, refupina , fpadonem 
 St fieri, tendat fupplex ad fydera pahnas, 
 
 Imbelli devitta marito. 
 
 A N 
 
The APPENDIX. 211 
 
 A N 
 
 EXTRACT 
 
 FROM 
 
 Mr. Scheffer ’sfecond Epifile to Mr. H-- 
 
 GARTH. 
 
 I. 
 
 TjOgarth, draw a Gothic Group ; 
 
 ^ Here old Myra and her Meafure, 
 
 * Hiding Impy in her ■ ■ — Hoop : 
 
 There the Gridir’n, and the Treafure : 
 
 II. 
 
 Here a Wife or wanton Maid, 
 
 With a Matron fpread upon her •, 
 
 There a mighty Hero laid 
 
 In the truckle-bed of Honour: 
 
 III. 
 
 Here a little angry Wight, 
 
 Fam’d for Hunting, Arms, and Arts, 
 
 With an Ell of Wig bedight. 
 
 Which conceal’d a thoufand Darts : 
 
 IV. 
 
 There a bulky bearded Shrew, 
 
 Nor of Men or Gods afraid, 
 
 ■f Yielding to a feeble Foe, 
 
 Left an Eunuch fhe be made. 
 
 * See the Beginning of the Battle in ti e fourth Book. 
 
 + See the Conclufion of the Toast. 
 
 E e 2 Itt 
 
ai2 The APPENDIX, 
 
 In anfwer to the reft of your Letter concerning the Right Honourable , 
 who fancies herfelf to be Scheffer' s Myra , I muft allure you, that his Poem 
 does not require a Key i there being no Allegory in his Hiftorical Rela¬ 
 tions, nor any Deceit or Difguife in his Characters : And all other Diffi¬ 
 culties are fufficiently explained by the Commentator’s Notes. It happens 
 indeed odly enough, that two different Ladies ffiould preteqd to the fame 
 poetical Name ; and that they ffiould be fo much alike in their Perfons, as 
 not to be diftinguiffied from each other. But ’tis ftill more remarkable, 
 that there ffiould be fuch ah exaCt Correfpondence in their Lives and Man¬ 
 ners -, that they ffiould have the fame Appetites and Inclinations; and 
 laftly, that they ffiould carefs the fame Woman, and marry the fame 
 Man. However, we muft examine further into the Actions of your Right 
 Honourable , and bring her to another Teft, before we can allow her to 
 ftand in the Place of Scheffer* s Myra. If ffie is the fame Perfon who rob¬ 
 bed our Author of two thoufand Pounds i and afterwards, in Conjunction 
 with a wicked old Fellow, who is fince departed to anfwer for his Crimes, 
 hired a Villain to Affaffmate Scheffer in the Streets of Dublin : If,, when 
 ffie did not fucceed in this Attempt, ffie affociated with * three other Spirits 
 as wicked as herfelf, and by the vileft Artifices endeavoured to blaft his 
 Reputation, and by Subornation and Perjury, to deprive him of all the 
 little Eftate, which he had in this Kingdom : I fay, if fuch is the Right 
 Honourable , then is ffie the true and original Myra ; otherwife ffie is a 
 Counterfeit, and has no Pretence to that Title. Wherefore, as foon as you 
 receive this Letter, it will be expedient for you to enquire,, if ffie is inclined 
 to acknowledge the Truth of this Accufation. If ffie ffiould not, we are 
 all acquitted 5 if ffie ffiould, I am apt to believe, that her Complaints will 
 have but little Weight with the Publick. 
 
 As to the reft,-Let us fuppofe this Work to be, what it is called by 
 
 Scheffer's Enemies, a Mock-Epic or Satire •, yet I think there is room 
 enough to vindicate the Author. If he had no other Motive in writing it, 
 but to do himfelf Juftice, his Defign was unblameable, and I fancy 
 he has not laboured in vain. I ffiall ever be of Opinion, that the^ 
 Man who is incapable of being warmed with a proper Refentment, or 
 is infenfible to fuch Injuries, as Scheffer received during his Refidence in 
 Dublin , that Man, I fay, muft have a Soul that is equally void of Love, 
 ratitude, or any other noble Pafllon. 1 do not by this intend to ex- 
 
 * Vol. Piercy and Cacus. 
 
 cite. 
 
 6 
 
The APPENDIX. 213 
 
 cite Men to' Revenge upon ordinary Occafions, or to refent every Affront 
 that may be offered by an impertinent Woman, or a common Brawler. 
 Such a Proceeding is as much beneath a Gentleman, as it is unbecoming a 
 Philofopher and a Chriftian. But when a premeditated Defign hath been 
 formed by Perfons, who hold feme Rank and Eftimation in the World, to 
 defame a Neighbour, to rob him of his Property, and even to murder him 
 in the High-way •, furely the Man who is thus injured, has a Right to com¬ 
 plain in what Manner he pleafes. He has a Right, efpecially if the Law is 
 not fufficient to procure him a Reparation, to examine into the Lives of his 
 Adverfaries, and to expofe their Condud to the Cenfure of the Publick. I 
 may be allowed to carry this farther, and affirm, that this is a Duty which 
 we owe to our Country. ’Tis hanging out a Light to dired Travellers in 
 a dark Night •, and a Signal to Mariners, to avoid thofe Rocks upon which 
 others have fplit. And this is the very Apology, which Mr. Scheffer 
 makes in a fhort Apoftrophe to Clara , about the Middle of the third Book, 
 for the Liberties he has uffed in defcribing the Perfons, and' the Morning 
 Exercifes. of Myra and her Imp. Give me leave to add, that no Confide- 
 ration of Family or Fortune ought to divert our Enquiry, or fcreen any Per- 
 fon, who hath been guilty of the Crimes I have mentioned. At leaft, for 
 my Part, I fhall never pay that Regard to human Diftindions, as to honour 
 the Enemies of Mankind. No exterior Quality, or the Bulk of the 
 Figure, fhall influence metofpare that Woman, becaufe fhe is a Countefs, 
 or that Man, becaufe he is a Knight: When perhaps the firft may be ren¬ 
 dered as infamous by her Adions, as any Female upon the Irijh Records ; 
 and the other may be a Knight of that Appellation (for there are Knights 
 of feveral Appellations) with whom an honeft Cobler would not exchange 
 either his Trade or his Title. However, in thefe Recriminations, I would 
 not have my Author exceed the Truth, or load his greateft Enemies with 
 an Accufation, which they do not deferve-. I think it was a great Error in 
 the Primitive Zeal, to charge even Judas with Inceft, becaufe he betrayed 
 his Mafter. If our Poet had invented a String of Calumnies, or had drawn 
 his Heroine out of Charader •, I would not juftify him by the ufual Plea of 
 a^ poetical Licence, notwithftanding the Infults and Depredations, which 
 have been made upon him. But, as I have obferved in another Place, he 
 has not gone a Step out of his Way, in order to enlarge his Subjed. He 
 hath contented himfelf with relating fuch notorious Fads, as were committed 
 
214 The APPENDIX. 
 
 in the Face of the Sun. Thefe indeed he has embellifhed with a whimfical 
 Verification, left a bare and dry Narrative fhould not fufficiently engage 
 the Reader. It may not perhaps be always fafe or feafonable to fpealc Truth, 
 or expofe ftich a malevolent Creature as Scheffer's Myra. But furely, 
 fuch an Attempt, though the Author had not received any perfonal Inju¬ 
 ries, ought not to be charged upon him as a fcandalous InveCtive or Male¬ 
 diction. Indignis ft maledicitur, malediSum id effe ■puto : verum ft dignis 
 dicilur , henedidlum eft meo quidem animo. By what Law or Logic can an 
 honeft Man be arraigned of Malice or Slander for placing a Witch in her 
 Circle, or calling the Devil by his own Name ? 
 
 As to the Share which I have had in putting Scheffer's Poem into an Englifh 
 Drels, I have no Caufe to repent it, fince I find my Labours are fufficiently 
 compenfated by the Approbation of the beft, and the moft learned Men in this 
 Kingdom. Ought I not therefore to difregard the Cenfures of an * Ignorant 
 Prieft , whom the Caprice of Fortune has raifed from the Plough to the 
 Purple, and who ftands up in Defence of Myra's Actions, for no other 
 Reafon that I know of, but becaufe they are analogous to his own ? As little 
 am I to be moved by the Bounces of a Bully Captain, who takes upon him 
 to condemn a Work, which he is not able to read ; and prefumes to threaten 
 a Gentleman, whom he does not know, and from whom he never received 
 any Injury or Offence. Leaft of all fliall I be affeCted by the Menaces 
 and Imprecations of Thofe, who are really charaCterifed by our Author, if 
 any fuch Perfons are now in .being. They-muft furely be too infamous to 
 conciliate the Favour of the Publick, or to intereft in their Quarrel any 
 Number of Men or Women, who have a juft Regard for their own Cha¬ 
 racters, and lo much Senfe as not to be deceived by falfe Colours. How¬ 
 ever, if any of thefe Schefferean Heroes or Heroines, Hermaphrodites, 
 Imps or Witches fhould ftill exift, I will at prefent return no other An- 
 fwer to their Threats and Curfes, than what is contained in the following 
 Ode, which I have borrowed from my Author, and which (in all the lat e 
 Editions) I find printed at the End of his Works. 
 
 I muftacquaint you, that this Ode was written fometime after the Publica¬ 
 tion of the firft Volume of Scheffer's Poem. It was occafioned by fome outra¬ 
 geous Speeches, which were thrown out againft him by a certain old Kern, 
 and a little farcaftical Lady. The firft pretended that he was defigned by 
 V ?/, becaufe that Character would not fit any Body elfe. The Lady ac- 
 
 cufed 
 
 * Lord Pam. 
 
 6 
 
The APPENDIX. 215 
 
 cufed our Author for a quite contrary Reafon. She applied to herfelf 
 thefe Lines in the fecond Book, 
 
 Little Mi, whom erft I invok’d for my Goddefs, 
 
 Now, alas! was untoafted for wearing Steel Boddice ; 
 
 becaufe (he was as ftrait as an Arrow, and had never once in her Life 
 employed a Black-fmith to make her Stays. 
 
 When People are weak enough to apply to themfelves Characters, which 
 at the fame time they afiure us with folemn Afieverations do not belong 
 to them, they make a Difcovery, which they might otherwife have conceal¬ 
 ed. Murders, and other great Crimes, have frequently been detected by 
 this means, the Authors of which would not elle have been known till the 
 Day of Judgment. I remember an old Herb-Woman in Dublin , who had 
 taught her Mag-pie to pronounce articulately thefe Words, Pam is a Knave. 
 A Reverend Lord walking one Day by her Door, juft as the Pie had repeat¬ 
 ed his Leffon, fell into a great Paflion, and told die Woman, She ought to 
 be feverely punifhed for inftrutting her Bird to call Perfons of his Quality and 
 Station fuch opprobrious Names. She replied incontinently, My Lord, I have 
 long had a Curiofity to know the true Pam. I am heartily glad to fee him here. 
 I affure your Lordjhip I will make my Pie change his Note , and pay that 
 Refpecl, which is due to your Sleeves. For hereafter hefhall tell every one^ 
 •who paffes this Way , that Pam is a B - p. 
 
 But to return to the Ode. I have endeavoured to exprefs the Senfe of my 
 Author in the fame Metre, and in as few Lines, as the Original contains. 
 But I fear you will not much approve my Verfion. 
 
 ODE 
 
21(5 
 
 The APPENDIX 
 
 ODE. 
 
 A M ferox P — —ttus mlnitatur enfem ; 
 
 Ingerii telum jaculatur Ales j 
 Ac fuum nobis inimica mifcet 
 
 Mira venerium. 
 
 Invocant manes equitis fcelefii ; 
 
 Intonans fed quos agiiat Megcera , 
 
 Si jam in Oreo debit a pejeratos 
 
 Pcena fequatur. 
 
 Natus ille in perniciern fuorum 
 
 Bella quot movit C- . mitiffce adulter ? 
 
 Quas fenex lites ; avidufque, ipsa in 
 
 Morte cruentus ? 
 
 Temit nec me gladius , neque atrcs 
 AUtis dirum recinentis omen ; 
 
 Nec Smythi quicquid potuit minifiro 
 
 ' 
 
 Dcemone Mira. 
 
 Devovet vatis caput immerentis , 
 
 Mox fibi neftil laqueum Lycambes. 
 
 Me mens fervat patrice Diifque 
 
 Phcebus amicum. 
 
 Spiritum Phcebus tenuem jocofi 
 Carminis nobis dedit , atque P -Hum 
 -Ludere invifum ; dedit & malignas 
 
 Lcedere fagas. 
 
 O 
 

 The APPENDIX. 
 
 ODE 
 
 T H E Captain draws as fierce as ftout. 
 
 And A —— throws her Wit about; 
 
 With Poifon, Myra too gives out. 
 
 She’ll work us. 
 
 They all invoke the wicked Sprite, 
 
 Which dwelt in Body of * Sir Knight, 
 
 Compell’d with Furies now to fight 
 
 In Onus. 
 
 Bane of his Houfe, in Blood and Strife, 
 
 Inflam’d by B - lew's wicked Wife, 
 
 He ftudied Vengeance all his Life, 
 
 And dying. 
 
 I value not the Sword of P - 
 
 The Croak of Raven, A -’s Chat, 
 
 The Witch — and by her Imps all that 
 
 She’s trying. 
 
 An Hempen String may chance reward 
 Thofe Curfes, which I difregard. 
 
 Pbcebus preferves the pious Bard 
 
 From Fate here. 
 
 phdbus inftru&s me how to joke. 
 
 The f Hags, and § Collier to provoke. 
 
 And make ’em feel the keeneft Stroke 
 
 Of Satire. 
 
 •Sir Mam. + Myra anther Imp.; $ V< 
 
 
21 8 The A P P E N D I X. 
 
 If I receive any farther Advices from you in Confirmation of thefe violent 
 Schemes, which feem at prefent to be forming againlt us, I may perhaps 
 think it neceffary to trouble you with another apologetical Epiftle, in 
 which I will enlarge upon fome particular Faffs, which I have but flightly 
 mentioned here. In the mean time, whether you publifh this Letter or 
 not, (which is a Matter I leave wholly to your Difcretion) it would not be 
 amifs to communicate it to the Right Honourable , if you imagine you can 
 by that means remove the Doubts, which at prefent perplex her. How¬ 
 ever, if what I have here faid fhould not be fufficient to convince her 
 that fire is not the Myra intended by Scheffer , let her only have Patience, 
 till the new Edition of the Toast appears ; and then I’ll forfeit all my 
 Reputation as a Writer, if any Man in the Britijh Dominions, who hath a 
 fingle Grain of Sagacity, fhall miftake the Pifture of Myra , or apply any 
 of the Poet’s Characters to Perfons, for whom they were not originally de- 
 figned. I am. 
 
 S I R, 
 
 London 
 Feb. 14. 1734 
 
 Tour moft humble Servant., 
 
 P. O Donald. 
 
 P. S 
 
 I had al moft forgot to inform you, that there are two Sets of Draw¬ 
 ings ; the firlt, in purfuance of Mr. Scheffer’s Inftruftions, by Ho- 
 garth • -1 u__ ^ J - 
 
 Baron. 
 
 The fecond is defigned by Graveeot and engraved by 
 
 p. S. I fhall return to Dublin in a Month or Six Weeks at fartheft, when 
 a will put my x ranslation to the Prefs. 
 
 SUP- 
 
219 
 
 The APPENDIX. 
 
 SUPPLEMENTAL NOTES and 
 OBSERVATIONS. 
 
 BOO 
 
 Ver. 234. Whether Bajhaw or Vice - 
 roy &c. 
 
 Pash a fiat, aut Sancho Rex &c. 
 
 The Viceroys who are fent by the 
 Grand Signior to govern the Provinces of 
 that Empire, are called Beglerbegs fome, 
 and others Pajhas or Bajhaws . 
 
 By Sancho , the Poet means Sancho 
 Panfa , the Squire of Don Quixote, who 
 was Governor or Viceroy of the Ifland of 
 Barataria. 
 
 Yer. 277. If the Fuel he had which 
 my Coal Mine &c. 
 
 BOO 
 
 Ver. 40. And to pleafe thee even I In- 
 
 TERLINE &C. 
 
 Illius ergo Interscripsi. 
 
 Iocco, when he was declaiming again ft 
 our Author, produced a Deed in which 
 there was an Interlineation ; and this he 
 insinuated had been made by Mr. Schef¬ 
 fer or his Agent. Scheffer, who 
 was then prefent, was extremely furprifed 
 to hear himfelf charged with fuch a Crime. 
 He defired the Liberty of viewing*the 
 Deed , which having done, he declared, 
 that it was not his Deed , nor had ever 
 been in his Pofleflion; and hoped the 
 Court would order Satisfaftion to be made 
 him for the Attack upon his Character. 
 The C. upon this, examining into the Af¬ 
 fair,'it appeared, that the Deed belonged 
 
 K I. 
 
 Si carbones minus lenti, 
 
 Emas numulo argenti. 
 
 T he Irijh Coals are not fo good as thofe 
 of. Whitehaven or Newcajlle ; but they 
 are fold much cheaper, and have reduced 
 the Price of the Englijh Coals. So that 
 Vo l had good Reafon to value himfelf on 
 the Share he had in this Difcovery. To 
 reward his diligent Attendance, he hath 
 lately been appointed Clerk of the Coal- 
 Yard. Upon his rifing one Morning early 
 from Myra’s Bed to direcfi the Sale of 
 his Coals, this Adage of Tertullian was 
 applied to him ; De Calcarid in Carbonari - 
 a?n> Out of the Lime Kiln into the Coal Pit • 
 
 K II. 
 
 tolocco’s Client, that it had always 
 been in Iocco’s Cuftody, that it did not 
 concern the Matters in difpute, and 
 (which made the Charge ftill moreabfurd) 
 that the Words which were faid to be in¬ 
 terlined, were of no Confequence, and 
 did not in any Manner vary the Senfe of 
 the Deed . This confounded our Pleader, 
 though he had a competent Stock of Af- 
 furance. He retraced the Charge ; he 
 acknowledged the Interlineation muft 
 have been made before the Deed was ex¬ 
 ecuted ; and de fired his Brethren of the 
 Bar to make no farther Mention of it: 
 Though he had not Honour enough to 
 beg Mr. Scheffer’s Pardon. 
 
 I could never form to myfelf a colour¬ 
 able Reafon for fuch an Infult thus pub- 
 lickly offered to a Gentleman and a Stran- 
 
 F f 2 £ en 
 
220 
 
 The A P P 
 
 ger: And it is hard to fay, whether the 
 Folly, or the Bafenefs of the Charge was 
 the greater. In Truth, this Pleader was 
 an infolent, illiterate Man with a flow 
 Apprehenfion, and without any Judg¬ 
 ment. He had moreover the moft un¬ 
 graceful Manner of Speaking, that I ever 
 
 BOO 
 
 Ver. t. Mighty Gcddefs 8rc. 
 
 Quas for mart i Hud i bras, 
 
 Magna Dea •, tu quae das 
 
 Rifus Atticofque fales, 
 
 Habet Ihon, Pan$:a quales. 
 
 Our Author here invokes the Goddefe, 
 who infpired thofe three great Burlefque 
 Wits, Rabelais, Cervantes and 
 Hudibras. 
 
 Frier Ihon, or (as he is there called) 
 Frier Ihon of the Funnels, was a brave 
 Fellow, and a witty Droll in Rabelais. 
 
 P ANf a or Sancho pANf a, Don 
 Quixote *s Squire, is now well known to 
 every Englijh Reader. 
 
 V. 9. Sen in te exemplum , Hol. 
 
 If Hol here flgnifies Holophanta (a 
 Knight of the Poft,) as I have fuppofed, 
 it does, our Author hath beflowed a hard 
 Name on Sir Piercy; but no other, 
 than his notorious Perjury deferved. For 
 I believe he was the hrft Man, who had 
 the Effrontery to make an Affidavit in a 
 Court of Juft ice • when at the fame time 
 he was fenfible, that not only the Judge 
 and Council at the Bar, but even every 
 By-Stander muft neceflarily know, there 
 was not a word of Truth contained in 
 
 ENDIX. 
 
 obferved even at the IriJ}) Bar. 
 
 The Addrefs to Iocco is not to be 
 found in the fir ft Edition of our Author’s 
 Works; for the Matter, which occafton- 
 ed it, did not happen till juft before the 
 fecond Edition was publifhed. 
 
 K III. 
 
 it. Such a flagitious Crime would not 
 have pafied with Impunity in any of the 
 Brit ip} J udicatories. N either SirPiERcy’s 
 Title, nor his Office, nor his Senatorial 
 Dignity would have fcreened him there. 
 But the Knight as well as his Accompli¬ 
 ces, would in all probability have fuffered 
 
 the fame fate, as Hackney IV - d . And 
 
 yet this infamous proceeding was defended 
 by Iocco, and fupported by Cacus. 
 The firft was of Opinion, that there was 
 no Work fo dirty, k which a good Fee 
 would not gild over: And the other was 
 in hopes to {hare the Plunder and Pro¬ 
 fits of Sir Pi e r c y’s Perjury. May I not 
 be allowed to fay of either of thefe Men, 
 Nofcitur ex Socio ; which is a Max m, 
 that generally holds good from the highelt 
 to the loweft Station in human Life? 
 
 Altho’ the Gentleman, who compofed 
 the following Ode, hath made himfelf 
 merry with Sir Piercy’s Expedition 
 (when he took Pofleffion of Mr. Schef¬ 
 fer’s Houfe by force of Arms, and af¬ 
 terwards un-fwore the Part he had a&ed) 
 yet our Author had much more reafon to 
 weep than to laugh, flnce in confequence 
 of that Affair he fuffered the Lofs of 
 Three Thousand Pounds and up¬ 
 wards in his private Fortune. 
 
 ODE 
 
W : • 
 
 The APPENDIX. 221 
 
 ODE 
 
 TO THE 
 
 Chevalier PIERCT\ 
 
 (To which the Note on Ver. 17. Book III. refers.) 
 
 In Imitation of Ho race, Ode 6. L. i. 
 
 Scriberis Vario fortis, & hojlium 
 Victor , &c. 
 
 S Onorous Bards in Epic Verfe 
 
 Thy matchlefs Virtues may rehearfe * 
 Extol the gallant * Kevan Band, 
 
 Proud to march under thy Command ; 
 
 And tell what great Exploits were done. 
 Both with the Pole-axe and the Gun. 
 
 But fhall a Ballad-fmging Swain, 
 
 Who never try’d an higher Strain, 
 
 Say, how a Don of muckle Might, 
 
 Full fraught with Craft, and prone to fight. 
 Led forth his Troops to fpoil and burn, 
 
 Refolv’d to conquer, or-return ? 
 
 How fome f ill-fated Trees, that dar’d 
 Appear at Diftance like a Guard, 
 
 (For Danger multiplies our Fear 
 And makes each Shrub a Grenadier) 
 
 * A Mob in Dublin, who call themfelves the Kevan Bail. 
 
 + Sir Piercy, when he forced the Pofleffion of Scheffer s Houie, 
 Trees in the Avenue, thePalifades about the Court Yard, and the Pump* 
 
 cut down fome 
 After 
 
222 
 
 The APPENDIX. 
 
 After a Council duly held. 
 
 The Gen’ral order’d to be fell’d. 
 
 His Sword, by this Succefs grown vain, 
 
 He flourifh’d thrice, and thrice again ; 
 
 Both to exprefs his Joy and Rage, 
 
 Like Kindred Heroes of the Stage : 
 
 Then fearlefs charg’d the Palifade •, 
 
 Which little Oppofition made, 
 
 Tho’ rais’d by Mars at vaft Expence, 
 
 Well form’d, and pointed for Defence. 
 
 For down he fmote at ev’ry Stroke 
 A Pale — tho’ all were Heart of Oak! 
 
 And next, to cut off frefh Supplies, 
 
 Or haply to prevent Surprize, 
 
 (For might not. Sirs, an Ambufcade 
 In a huge wooden Pump be laid. 
 
 As treach’rous Greeks , an armed Force, 
 
 Were whilom hid in wooden Horfe?) 
 
 The Chieftain, in the Voice of Thunder, 
 
 Commands the Pump be cleft afunder. 
 
 Then round the Houfe with martial Grace 
 Marching to fpy the weakeft Place, 
 
 He mark’d, how many Panes were crack’d, 
 
 **• The W indows muft be firft attack’d! ” 
 
 So, tho’ his Vet’rans thought him ralh. 
 
 He points his Guns againft a Safh. 
 
 The Frame was old, the Glafs was thin, 
 
 And no Refiftance from within : 
 
 A Breach was made, thro’ which he ventur’d. 
 
 After his Soldiers all had enter’d. 
 
 Thus fifty Wights, arm’d Cap-a-pee, 
 
 By dint of Courage conquer’d Three. 
 
 Tho’ Men of * Chapel-Izzod fay. 
 
 The Gen’rals Conduct gain’d the Day. 
 
 * A Village near Dublin adjoining to the Park, where Scheffer’s Houfe Hood, 
 
 Now, 
 
'C 
 
 The APPENDIX. 223 
 
 Now, fince the Poet has been crufh’d, 
 
 9 Tis beft, the Matter fhould be hurtl’d. 
 
 I hope the f K—g, who lives fo far. 
 
 Will hear no Tidings of this War : 
 
 For Kings, as well as Ample Knights, 
 
 Are fometimes jealous of their Rights. 
 
 And you, great Guardian of the Laws, 
 
 Gracious review the Hero’s Caufe. 
 
 Tho’ it may feem a rafti Affair, 
 
 Confider, Piercy is Surveyor! 
 
 Do not conceive, he claims a Right, 
 
 Or ftorm’d the Royal Lodge in fpite: 
 
 He ftrove to burn it, ere it yielded. 
 
 In hopes hereafter-to rebuild it. 
 
 But hark, ye Warriors, how this Battle 
 Inclines my gofiip Mufe to prattle ! 
 
 Tho’ I have told her, ’tis not fit 
 Tofpoil great Deeds for want of Wit ; 
 
 By Scraps and Hints to tell a Story, 
 
 And thus to fully Piercy’s Glory. 
 
 When Phcehus will not lend a Beam, 
 
 Nor match the Numbers to the Theme i 
 What Bard can aptly draw Sir Mars 
 Adting the Hero of a Farce ? 
 
 Or who defcribe his dreadful Note, 
 
 His warlike Strut, and broider’d Coat ? 
 
 Who can relate the Rile and Fall, 
 
 The various Shapes of Dublin Vol ? 
 
 Shew him among the Mud-nymphs gay, 
 
 Or a grave Evidence for Pay ? 
 
 Or elfe, majeftic in his Hole, 
 
 Meting out Bally-Cajlle Coal ? 
 
 No Britijh Collier is fo black, 
 
 Or can produce ■ ■■ ■ a broader Back. 
 
 f Scheffer’s Houfe and Land was held by Patent of the Crown: And; this Attack 
 was an Infult upon the Government. g ut> 
 
 
224 The A P P E N DIX. 
 
 But, Piercy, greateft of the Three ' 
 
 Mirror of modern Chivalry! 
 
 What Verfe is equal to your Merit, 
 
 Who can difplay your aftive Spirit ? 
 
 Whether, exerting all your Skill, 
 
 You plan a Houfe, or — * make a Will: 
 
 Or, aided by the § Beldam’s Charm, 
 
 You bid your Mercenaries arm : 
 
 Take Caftles without Lofs of Man, 
 
 As Spanijb Quixots took Oran. 
 
 Shall it fuffice-thou haft a Place, 
 
 That thou art dubb’d by D -Grace ? 
 
 Or, fince the Danger all is paft. 
 
 Shall this bold Aftion be thy laft ? 
 
 No —— thou fhalt higher —— higher rift. 
 
 Till thy great Head fhall touch the Skies ; 
 
 Till Jove fhall fmile with gracious Nod, 
 
 And Scheffer change thee to a God. 
 
 Whilft I, content with humble Lays, 
 
 Repeat the fable Frokin’s Praife ; 
 
 Defcribe her Face, her Shape, her Carriage j 
 Her Art of Love, and Art of Marriage. 
 
 Or-ever mindful of my Wrongs, 
 
 At Leifure to compofe new Songs, 
 
 I couple Donnas a-la-mode , 
 
 Anddrefsold -f Myra in an Ode. 
 
 * The Author here alludes to Sir Mars’s Will. 
 
 § He means the C. of N. 
 
 •f He probably alludes to the following Ook. 
 
Tht APPENDIX. 22$ 
 
 O D E 
 
 T O 
 
 MYRA 
 
 (To which the Note on Verfe 194. Book III. refers) 
 
 In imitation of Horace’s Ode to Canidia. Lib. Ep. Od. 17. 
 
 Jam jam ejjicaci do manus fcientiee, &c. 
 
 C EASE! thy direful Vengeance ceafe! 
 
 Mighty Sorc’refs, give me Eafe l 
 Like thy felf a * Convert grown. 
 
 Now thy Magic Power I own. 
 
 See the Bard with fupp’lant Hands j 
 
 Meaneft Slave of thy Commands! 
 
 Be thou pleas’d! my Voice I’ll raife. 
 
 Tune my Lyre to found thy Praife j 
 I will form thee all Divine j 
 And no Mufe ihall lie like mine. 
 
 By thy facred Self I’ll fwear. 
 
 Thou art faireft of the Fair ; 
 
 That thy Morn- or Evening Face 
 Modeft fhines with native Grace 
 Thy Complexion, when ’tis Pale, 
 
 Shews the Lilies of the Vale ; 
 
 When thy Cheeks are over-fpread 
 With a bright Vermilion-red, 
 
 Greater Beauties they difclofe. 
 
 Charming, as the op’ning Rofe. 
 
 Myra profefled herfclf a Roman Catholick, till fhe was fifty years of age J when fhe chang¬ 
 ed her Religion, and got a Penfion. 
 
 G g 
 
 Then 
 
22 6 The APPENDIX. 
 
 Then thy TrelTes I’ll difplay 
 Swear, they are unmixt with grey 
 That thy hollow Eyes are Jet, 
 
 Brilliant Di’monds, tho’ ill fet : 
 
 Or, low Similes to fhun. 
 
 Either Orb fhall be a Sun. 
 
 With thy Rays, like Cupid' s Darts, 
 
 Thou fhalt pierce the ftouteft Hearts ; 
 
 Change us, when thy Work is done,. 
 
 (Like * Medufa ) into Stone. 
 
 Next I’ll frnooth thy wrinkled Skin, 
 
 Paint, without a Beard, thy Chin ; 
 
 Swear, thy Breath (which never fails y 
 Is as fweet as fpicy Gales : 
 
 That thy Teeth are all thy own, 
 
 (’Tis a Set that’s newly grownJ 
 But I think I fhall not Lie, 
 
 If I fwear, they’re Ivory. 
 
 Then a well turn’d Neck I’ll fhew,. 
 
 Whiter than the falling Snow : 
 
 And each Breaft fhall be as fmall. 
 
 Round, and hard, as Billiard-ball. 
 
 Then Pll mould thy muckle Waiil, 
 
 Shape it to a Critick’s Tafte : 
 
 If he fancies, ’tis too wide 
 To be compafs’d with an Hide ; 
 
 Let him meafure, J* as did Dido ; 
 
 Or elfe let him lie, as I do : 
 
 For I’ll with a Span furround it; 
 
 Swear, that Venus' § Girdle bound it. 
 
 Wou’d the modeft Fair excufe 
 Some few Freedoms in the Mufe ; 
 
 * Scheffer fays, fhe had a Gorgon's Head. 
 
 ■+ Dido at her firft Arrival in Africa bought as much Land, as fhe could compafs with the 
 Hide of an Ox, which cutting into fmall Thongs, lhe inclofed with it 22 Furlongs, and 
 by means of that craftie Bargain, lhe built the City of Carthage. 
 
 $ See the beautiful Defcription of the Cejius or Girdle of Venus in the fourteenth Book 
 •f Homer’s Iliad, and the fine Imitation of that Fiftion by PaJJ'o in his Gierufalemme libera- 
 la Cant. 16. Mr. Pipe's Tranflation of that Paflage in Homer is not to be equalled. 
 
 I’d 
 
The APPENDIX. 227 
 
 I’d unveil a nobler Part, 
 
 Touch it with Dan Ovid’s Art; 
 
 Not compare it, like a Sloven, 
 
 To a Furnace, or an Oven ; 
 
 To a Bufhel,- or a Bowl, 
 
 Large as thy capacious Soul: 
 
 But a Figure I’d devife. 
 
 Which fhou’d dignify my Lies, 
 
 By neat Metaphors exprefs’d. 
 
 In a Virgin’s Likenefs drefs’d i 
 Such as Anch’rets wou’d infpire i, 
 
 Reconcile the angry Frier ; 
 
 Teach an Irijh King to love. 
 
 And even make a Bull of Jove. 
 
 But ah! then a Damp I’d caft ; 
 
 For I’d fwear, that thou art chafte «, 
 
 True to every ** Hufband’s Bed, 
 
 To their Mem’ry, when they’re dead 5 
 That thou never had’ft Affair 
 With a Porter, or a Player •, 
 
 With the * Bully Chevalier, 
 
 Or with Centry Grenadier ; 
 
 Pam or Piercy -f* P-or § Gore; 
 
 With --about an hundred more, 
 
 Whom the faucy People name, 
 
 Eccho’d by that Brazen Fame. 
 
 Then I’ll falfify Report, 
 
 Standing Jeft of Viceroy’s Court -, 
 
 Fabled in the )| Comic Play, 
 
 Tattled over Cards and Tea *, 
 
 % Myra had three Husbands. An Account is given in ray NoteJ, howdhe dealt with 
 them. 
 
 * Sir T. S. 
 
 f He is called Vol in our Author’s Poem. 
 
 One of Myra’s Chairmen. 
 
 | He means the Lectin Farce written by Scheffer* or Tome other of the fame kind. 
 
 G g 2 Always 
 
228 The APPENDIX; 
 
 % 
 
 Always whifper’d with a Sneer, 
 
 When thy •j'.J. F row and thou art near. 
 
 What if Sappho was fo naught ? 
 
 I’ll deny, that thou halt taught 
 How to pair the Female Doves, 
 
 How to pradtife Lefbian Loves: 
 
 But when little * Al is fpread 
 In her ft Grove, or on thy Bed, 
 
 I will fwear, ’tis Nature’s Call, 
 
 ’Tis exalted Friendlhip all. 
 
 Then, becaufe I’m often told. 
 
 Mighty Sorc’rels, thou grow’ft old j 
 That, few Bards in Days of Yore 
 Fancied Beauties of Threefcore •, 
 
 I’ll unbend the Work of Time,, 
 
 I’ll reftore thee to thy Prime, 
 
 Feign, that now thou art as young,. 
 
 As when am’rous G - ville fung. 
 
 Then I’ll ftrike an higher String, 
 
 And thy matchlefs Virtues fing; 
 
 Singing fwear, that thou art Juft, 
 
 Grateful, Faithful to thy Truft: 
 
 That thy Piety excels 
 
 All that Romijh Legend tells; 
 
 That thou’rt Difciplin*d with Rods, 
 
 Tho’ thou haft abjur’d thy Gods : 
 
 That thy Purfe, and ——eke thy § Door 
 Ever opens to the Poor 
 
 - 14 - The fame, who is called the fable Frokin in the Ode to Piercy. The Author of 
 that Ode mentions her Art of Marriage. She made Traulus drunk, and perfuaded him to 
 marry her. But he repenting his Bargain the next Morning left her, and difowned his Mar¬ 
 riage. And, as lhe was not able to prove it, fhe caufed a Report to be fpread, that fhe was 
 dead; which filly Traulus believing, put himfelf and his Family.into Mourning and 
 pubhckly declared lhe had been his lawful Wife. She then appeared, claimed, and recovered 
 her Hulband. She had often play’d the fame Trick before, but had never found fo fit a Sub- 
 jedl to work on. 
 
 * The Wife of Traulus. 
 
 ft The Grove at S - grin . 
 
 * r Myra ’ s Ga ' es a L re l al ' va y s . ftut during her Dinner, to prevent the Importunity of hun¬ 
 gry Beggars, with which the City of Dublin abounds. 
 
 3 That: 
 
229 
 
 The APPENDIX. 
 
 That thou giveft without Meafure, 
 
 In exchange for heav’nly Treafure. 
 
 Then to prove thy Truth and Wit, 
 
 I’ll repeat what || thou haft writ •, 
 
 In my Numbers Both lhall Ihine, 
 
 And be priz’d as much as ■■ mine. 
 
 Indian Priefts avert all Evil, 
 
 By cajoling angry Devil •, 
 
 Praife his Beauty, and his Youth, 
 
 Give him Virtue, Wit and Truth 
 Flatter, facrrfice and lie, 
 
 And old Satan deify: 
 
 So let me thy Wrath appeafe! 
 
 So do thou thy Vengeance ceafe ! 
 
 Soften’d by my lying Lyre, 
 
 Gracious imitate thy Sire •, 
 
 And at leaft fuch Favour fhew,. 
 
 As the Devil wou’d beftow. 
 
 || She pretended to write a Poem in Praileof her own Beauty. 
 
 This Ode was publilhed fome Years 
 before Mr. Scheffer began his Poem. From 
 it he has taken fome ufeful Hints, which 
 however he hath much improved. Here 
 old Myra is compared to a Furnace , an 
 Oven, a Bufhel , and a Bowl. But our 
 Author, who better underftood the Rules 
 of Proportion, hath compared her in one 
 place to /Etna, and in another to Cha- 
 r\bdis, which gave Occafion for the fol¬ 
 lowing Epigrams. 
 
 Ad Mavortem cum primum Mires fer- 
 viret. 
 
 *Fato,quo centum, Mavors, peri ere, peribis: 
 En tibi, quodpetis, ejUEXia-, Charyb- 
 dis erit. 
 
 Bully Mars, here expert, what hath hapt 
 to an Hundred: 
 
 In a 7 *rice you are p—x’d, and anon you II 
 he plunder’d 
 
 * k Alii legunt, Scorte. 
 
 Ad Pediflequos & Lecficarios Mirer Adul- 
 teros. 
 
 Contingat vacua avidam tranare Charyb- 
 din; 
 
 Huttos mcechos ardens attamen /Etna voret _ 
 
 Tho’the Gulf you may pafs , who have nothing 
 to give ; 
 
 In a fry fierce Furnace, how long, can you- 
 live ? 
 
 Ad P or cum quer.dam, qui in Mira Cha~- 
 rybdi laborans, immaturus obiit. 
 
 Plangite Libniades 1 rapido feje eripit igne 
 Porcus, ut immundis obrUeretur aquis. 
 
 Wail ye Mud-Nymphs of Liffy the Fate of 
 poor Hog ! 
 
 Who efcap'd Mvra’j Fire, to be drown’d, 
 in her Bog-. 
 
 Ver;. 
 
230 The APPENDIX 
 
 Ver. 224. A Mechanick, a Courtier , 
 a Collier, and Knight. 
 
 Et turn Aulicus, pedifleques, 
 
 Carbonarius Vol, et quis eques. 
 
 Upon a Review of this Note, I have 
 remarked a great Error of the Prefs, which 
 .hath run thro’ all the Editions of this 
 Work, and hath not been obierved by 
 any of the Commentators. 
 
 Pedijfeques is not a Latin Word, and 
 altho’ our Author hath fometimes coined 
 Words, yet he hath never taken this Li¬ 
 berty for the Sake of the Rhyme. Where!* 
 fore Jet thefe Verfes be thus amended, 
 ■free periculo, 
 
 Eques, Aulicus, & his aequus 
 
 Carbonarius, & pedihequus. 
 
 Ver. 238. And the Imp, that erjt en¬ 
 ter'd, refemhled a Woman. 
 
 Haec, Daemonium qua2 intravit 
 Cubi-culum, Succuba fit. 
 
 In a former Note on thefe Lines I 
 have explained the Word Succuba, the 
 name, which Mr. Scheffer ufually 
 bellows on Myra’s Imp. To give the 
 greater weight to what I have advanc¬ 
 ed in that place j let me here add the 
 Opinion of a very learned Phyfician, 
 whofe Authority I have quoted in my 
 Preface to prove the real Exiflence of 
 Witches ; I mean the Author of Re- 
 ligio Medici. / could believe , lays he, 
 that Spirits ufe with Man the att of Car¬ 
 nality, and that in both Sexes, l conceive they 
 may ajfume, Jlealor contrive a Body t where- 
 in there may be action enough to content de¬ 
 crepit Lujl, orPajfion to fatisfie more a£iive 
 Vimeries. This is an eafy and rational Me¬ 
 thod of accounting for the Tribadifin of 
 Myra and her Imp. 
 
 BOOK IV. 
 
 Ver. 234. But allow me to make her 
 more fit for her Sex. 
 
 At aperte hcc vos moneam ; O 
 Magis foeminis idoneam, j> 
 Faciam, ToV’Av^o'j/mveam. J 
 
 I have quoted thefe Verfes, and add 
 -this Note to correct a Millake I have fal¬ 
 len into in my Note on Verfe 3. Book I. 
 and in other parts of my Comment, where 
 I take it for granted, that alter Apollo’s 
 -I nterdiaion Myra could not podibly 
 have any Commerce with Men: and 
 therefore I fuppofe, that her Metamorpho- 
 /w was total. Whereas it appears from 
 this Paffage that fhe was perfea Male and 
 Eemale^nd could exercife both Sexes with 
 equal Ability.That (he praaifed with Men 
 long after Apollo's, Edia, and her change of 
 _ igure by the Favour of Venus, is manifeft 
 fiomS cheffer’s Epillle IoCaden us, 
 ■«nd more particularly from his Farce (a 
 
 * Ke means M acc ak’s Relations, Wi 
 
 Specimen of which I have given in my 
 Notes on that Epillle) Where Mac car 
 Myra’s Footman introduces to her in 
 one Morning feven robuft young Fellows 
 his Relations, who were All immediate¬ 
 ly received into her Service. And Lord 
 Pam in his Soliloquy (A£t Seen, i ) 
 lamenting, that Myra’s Fame was not 
 more publick, concludes with thefe Lines 
 of Ovid: 
 
 Res obfacra quidem eft * ignobilitate vi- 
 rorwn , 
 
 Mira tamcn : vidi prafens Stagnum- 
 que Lacumque 
 
 Prodigio notum. 
 
 I have feen an Irilh Song by Benedict 
 Mullhollan, in which he aflerts the double 
 Sex and Abilities of our Heroine. Tir- 
 Oen has tranflated th s Song into Latin, 
 and topreferve th elrifh Mealure concludes 
 each Stanza in this Manner. 
 
 vers. Porters, Footmen and Chairmen* 
 
 Use 
 
\J 
 
 The APPENDIX. 231 
 
 ffloj moYit has 
 
 Nunc Mira, nunc mas $ 
 
 Cut vismafcu'ina , 
 
 Cut vis faeminina * 
 
 Genitalia nam habet Androgyne bina. 
 
 As to what may be obje&ed concerning 
 the Difficulty of refcinding Apollo's Decree 
 by a fubfequent Sentence of Venus , I an- 
 fwer, 1 if, that it does not appear this Decree 
 had been ratified by the ufual Oath of the 
 Gods, the only Circumftance that could 
 render it immutable. But 2dly, the Word 
 Viro (nec cui fit conjunSla Viro. Ver. 
 112. Book 3.) is to be underdood in the 
 fame Senfe as in this Line of Virgil ; 
 
 Parcius [fta Viris tarnen objicienda me¬ 
 mento : 
 
 That is, Men of any Figure, Worth or 
 Honour. And fo far indeed Apollo's In¬ 
 terdiction was literally fulfilled y for after 
 the Publication of it, All Myra’s Gallants 
 were hired from the Scum of the People. 
 
 The Candid Reader will be pleafed here 
 to obferve how ready I am to retra& my 
 Errors : And therefore I hope the Criticks 
 will fpare me, if they flhould difcover any 
 other contradictory Remarks in this 
 Work, and impute them to the Variety 
 of Opinions, which are to be found among 
 the Latin Commentators. 
 
 Ver. 492. And herfelf (fuch Jhe often 
 
 hath been) to a Cat, 
 
 Ipfa fiem fords Felts! 
 
 Quanta, Hecate, tu velis. 
 
 Concerning the Powers given unto 
 Witches, there are three things neceflary to 
 be believed.Firft that they can ride Poft up¬ 
 on Broomlticks in the Air, and as much 
 at their Eafe, as if they were carried in a 
 Horfe-Litter, or an Indian Palanquin. Se¬ 
 condly that they can fail, in the Space of 
 five or fix Days, round the World in an 
 Egg-fhell, as commodioufiy as in a Royal- 
 Yacht, without any Danger, and without 
 being Sea-Sick. Thirdly that they are able, 
 as often as they pleafe, to transform them- 
 
 felvesinto Cats * This lad is a Truth,which 
 had never been controverted before the Re*- 
 Iteration of King Charles . Till that Time 
 one Witch at lead was conftantly Red- 
 dent in every Parifh in the Britijh Blands, 
 who appeared in the Shape of a Cat y as 
 frequently as in her own Peifon. So that 
 in thofe Days to call a Woman old Cat was 
 the fame thing as to call her old IVitch : 
 and even in this Age of Infidelity that 
 Appellation is fometimes ufed in politeCon- 
 verfation, to denote a lewd and deformed old 
 Woman. But to apply this to my pre- 
 fent Subjed: I could produce ioo credi¬ 
 ble Witnefles,whohave feen Scheffer’s 
 Witch dancing upon the Ridge of her 
 Houfe in the Shape of a Cat . She is known 
 by her mondrous Size, and her long black 
 Beard. Some People who have ventured 
 to approach her very near, affirm that 
 whateverSex {he is of in her human Form, 
 fhe is always a Boar Cat . When (he is 
 caterwauling , (which is an Exercife {he 
 never fails to praiSife every Full-Moon) 
 {he may eafily be didinguiffied in the 
 Night; for her Notes are terrible, and 
 very different from all other Beads of the 
 Cat-Kind. Mr. Scheffer in one of his 
 Familiar Letters gives a particular Account 
 how he was once attacked by her, under 
 this form, in his Lodgings in Dublin .' 
 Take the Relation in his own Words. 
 
 Nudiuftertius , cum bene mane de lefto y 
 furrexijfem y nigra ac ingentis fpeciei Felis, 
 caprind barba ac deformi pelle induta in - 
 travit cubiculum, & in caput meum inva - 
 ft. Servus , qui tunc forte aderat y novi- 
 tate rei primo turbatus ef \ mox autem y 
 cum multum clamarem , frifto gladio traje- 
 cit befits nates, ^uaf lupus , ululare ccepit y 
 & per angufias fenefrarum y quas fregit 
 mentis impetus , ex cubiculo aufugit , jafta 
 de corpore intolerabili odor is feeditate. Sta - 
 tim ut ad Forum profeftus fum y quippe 
 Miram fufpicabar verftpellem ejft , in 
 eam y quid ageret y inquiritur. In ore omnis 
 
 populi , nobilem matronam y dum in S -■ 
 
 organico lit ore multo mane ambulabat (ibi 
 enim nunc rufticatur) a prtsdonibus viola - 
 tamfuijfe , fcf nates ejus ferro trajeftas. Heri^ 
 X. vefperi 
 
232 The A P P 
 
 vefperiChirurgum conveni,qui Mjr^e vulnus 
 Curabat.Ille vir fagax,cum in ej us familiar i- 
 tate?n me inftnudjfem,ridebat vetulam de com - 
 mcntitid fabuld, de pradonibus (A flupro; 
 fed nec veram vulneris caufam auguratus 
 dl. At poflquam fingula de Fele narra- 
 yi & pericula mea , haud color is fui fuit ; 
 
 ‘ ncque dubium erat, quin turpes frig is na¬ 
 tes altreSiaverit. 
 
 The Day before yejlerday I rofe very 
 early. I was but jujl out of Bed, when a huge 
 ugly black Cat with a Beard like a Goafs 
 came into my Room and flew direClly at my 
 Head . My Servant, who by good Fortune 
 was prefent, was at firfl extremely furpized ; 
 but recovering himfclf, when he heard me 
 cry out, he drew my Sword, and run the 
 Beafl into the Buttocks. She howled like 
 a lVolf ; and quitting her Hold bounced 
 through the SaJhTVindow, andejcaped from 
 us \ but left an intolerable Stench behind her. 
 Now, becaufe I always fufpeded Myra to 
 he a Witch, as foon as I went to the* Four- 
 Courts, I made fame enquiry concerning 
 her State of Health . Every one told me, that, 
 as Jhe was walking that Morning on the 
 Strand by S -organ (for Jhe is retired 
 
 ENDIX. 
 
 thither for the Summer Seafon)She was fet 
 upon by a Company of Robbers, who firfl 
 ravifhed her, and then wounded her in that 
 Part, where my Servant had wounded the 
 Cat. Yejlerday Evening I fpoke to the 
 Surgeon, who dreff d her Wounds . He is 
 a Man of good Senfe ; who finding he might 
 be free with me, laughed at the Story of 
 the Robbers and the Rape, which he treated 
 as a mere Fiction: and yet he could not con¬ 
 jecture by what accident the old Woman was 
 wounded . But when I acquainted him with 
 the Danger I had been in the Day before, and 
 related all the Particulars about the Cat, 
 he changed Colour: for he was now convin¬ 
 ced his Patient was a Witch. 
 
 It may here be ask’d, if Myra could 
 fo eafily transform herfelf into a Cat, 
 why did not (he exert this Power, when 
 (he was conquered by Sir Mars, and fo 
 make her efcape from him, as {he efcap- 
 ed from Scheffer’s Servant? I anfwer, 
 (he was in Bonds; and in that condition 
 even a God would lofe the Force of his 
 Divinity, and be obliged to fubmit to a 
 weak Mortal,as may be fufficiently proved 
 from the fixth Eclogue of Virgil. 
 
 Ji . . ft' 
 
 * The Place in Dublin w^ere Civil and Crimiaal Caufes axe try'd. 
 
 I have now brought my Work to a Period; which hath been 
 drawn into a greater Length, and hath proved a more difficult 
 Talk, than I at firfl imagined. But I will not make any more 
 Apologies, nor attempt to raife my Merit by magnifying my La¬ 
 bours. I will only add at taking my leave, what I may be al¬ 
 lowed to fay without an imputation of Vanity, That by this 
 Time my Enemies mufl be convinced, I have ufed my befl En¬ 
 deavours to give them a proper Satisfaction ; and I am fure, my 
 Friends are obliged to me, who have put my felf into a very pe¬ 
 rilous Situation to afford them two or three hours Entertainment. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
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