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ĶīIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII||I||I||I||I||I||I||I||I||I||I||I||I||İſää ÎÎÏÏĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪĪİ ÎîÏïĪīİï (TT Lºs ; ÉIIII (~~~~…*…”: x-xz.: --->~~~~ …:): * - *:', '~- ---------~~ ~~~~-----------r-s-,-- ----- - - - - ÎÏi § 2 S& \A as º "[C) YA 4- | 3 8 (e 47-4% Z% * : * 4% 24. 2% ºve *4-4*. ſ.4.2% 24.2׺rº Jºe, º cºs --- 2. º. --- was 4, ( / … , a ca 42 ºz. ea Z. …” º /... --~~~~ * º zºº 2. zºº ºs e - Zºº, A. º. sº a * * eaſ a wº º * * * - MEMORIALS OF FRANCES RIDLEY HAWERGAL. by HER #x. Mº’"...º. ..º. —4–4– TWO Aſ UND RED A WD SAEPAAVTEEAWTA THO USAAWD. L O N DO N : J AM E S N IS BET & CO., 2I BERNERS STREET, I886. PREFATORY NOT E. -O- THIS Cheap Edition contains the complete MEMORIALS of F. R. H. Two of the Engravings, and the Facsimile Pages, are necessarily omitted. As the principal Addresses in the Appendix, “All Things,” and “Church Decorations,” are issued at One Penny each, the rest is withdrawn. M. V. G. H. X’-2,3-3o P R E F A C E. —%– T is with a reverent hand that these “hidden leaves” of my dear sister's life are now laid at the Master's feet, for His acceptance and blessing. “Leaves which grave Experience ponders, Soundings for her pilot charts; Leaves which God Himself is storing, Records which we read, adoring Him, who writes on human hearts, Leaflets long unpaged and scattered Time's great library receives; When eternity shall bind them, Golden volumes we shall find them, God’s light falling on the leaves.” No attempt has been made to write a Biography, but rather to allow her to relate her own life-story—a sister's loving touch uniting the several links. Her letters, so kindly lent to me by many friends, have furnished abun- dant materials for this purpose. These pages will reveal, to some extent, her “true- hearted, whole-hearted” loyalty in the service of God. Often was it as unseen as the lonely watchfulness of the sentinel on some distant outpost; although in later years vi PRAEFA CE, s she seemed as one pacing the ramparts in the very pre- sence of the King. And so— “The joy of loyal service to the King Shone through her days, and lit up other lives With the new fire of faith, that ever strives, Like a swift-kindling beacon, far to fling The tidings of His victory, and claim New subjects for His realm, and honour for His Name. May Christ be magnified by this record of her life and death ! To her, Christ was indeed “all and in all ;” and she did but describe her own experience in the words: “There were strange soul depths, restless, vast, and broad, Unfathomed as the sea ; An infinite craving for some infinite stilling : But now Thy perfect love is perfect filling, Lord Jesus Christ, my Lord, my God, Thou, Thou art enough for me !” Yes, she was satisfied with Him, and knew what it was to “rest in the Lord,” whilst she worked for Him. May I not add that an equally joyous and blessed experience may be ours; and that His grace, which was sufficient for her, is sufficient for all who, possessing “like precious faith,” “follow His steps.” MARIA W. G. HAVERGAL. CASwell BAY ROAD, THE MUMBLES, SouTH WALEs, April 1880. C O N T E N T S PAGE. CHAPTER I. (1836–1844.) Introduction—Birth—Brothers and sisters—Name— Birthday wreaths — Astley Rectory, (illustration)—Her father's music—New home at Henwick—Flora's epitaph—Reading under the table—First rhyme . CHAPTER II. (1843–1848.) Autobiography from six years old—Wanting to be º chapters and prayer—Golden light—Waving boughs—“The caged lark”—No hypocrisy—Mother's last words—Death—No trance—The cry of the motherless—Wales—Oakhampton tº ſº & º º º sº & CHAPTER III. (1848–1852.) The new decade—Meteor flashes—“Oh for faith”— School at last— Showers, but no blessing — Breaking the ice — The climax — The school sunbeam—A gleam of hope—Trusting Jesus—School again— Illness and patience—Wales—Singing and responding at “Taffy services” . * e g s te se gº tº & g ſº CHAPTER IV. (1852–1855.) School at Dusseldorf–Journey to Westphalia—Leaving school-Numero I. — Autobiography resumed-Life in the pastor's family—The Countess zur Lippe—Letter from Pastor Schulze-Berge—The day of confirmation —In Worcester cathedral—“Thine for ever"—Home life—Oakhampton enjoyment—“Welcome home to my fathér” . {. . . . tº § CHAPTER W. (1856–1860.) Ireland—F. R. H. and the Irish Girls—Hebrew Studies—Grateful memory Øſ. Bible class teachings-iſ. Nearer, heaven "- Chapters learnt- “Touching the hemºLeaving St. Nicholas —The loving teacher— Last page in Sunday Scholar's register—Welcome to Shareshill . º CHAPTER VI. (1861–1869.) Oakhampton—A new power—Musical gifts—Deep borings—Subjects for prayer—Hiller's commendation—Remarkable power of harmonizing– Welcome to Winterdyne–Stormy petrelism—Sent empty away— Calmer waters — Joining Young Women's Christian Associaticn— London—“Guess my birthday treat l”—Signor Randegger—Epitome of his first singing lesson—New home at Leamington—How poems came—My Evelyn !—“The Two Rings”—Weary and sad—First sight of Alpine mountains * º tº º ſº tº ſº s CHAPTER VII. (1870–1871.) A father's holy teaching—Peaceful death—“Yet speaketh”—“Songs of Grace and Glory”—How harmony was learnt—Letter on tunes in “Hav- ergal's Psalmody"—The “hush of praise”—Sympathy—The great transi- tion—The most enjoyable trip to Switzerland—A real Alpine dawn— The Vaudois chaplain—Vivas on the Col de la Seigne—Christmas Day —Waiting, not working tº tº - g * * º & 3r 35 48 57 So viii COAV7'32 W7.S. PAG CHAPTER VIII. (1872–1874.) “The Right Way"—Snowdon—Evenings at Harlech—Jesus our Reality— Switzerland once more—Ascent to the Grands Mulets—Glissade peril and escape—Active service—Winterdyne—Bright sunshine—Full sur- render—r John i. 7—Definitive standpoint—Chimes in the night of “Ever, only, all for Thee”—No cheque—Songs, not sighs – How “Golden harps,” “Tell it out,” etc., came—Wayside enjoyments s CHAPTER IX. (1874.) Circular letters—Sunset on the Faulhorn—Ormont Dessus—Interruptions to poems — Other work done—“Little Pillows,” etc.—Swiss singing— That great transfer—A musical reverie—Return to England—Bright work and results º e ſº º º o º g º º e CHAPTER X. (1874–1875.) A dark enigma—Typhoid fever—“Waiting at the Golden Gates”—Coming - back from them—Winterdyne—Relapse—Oakhampton—The ministry of kind servants — Return to work — Letters – Gleams — Whitby— “Reality”—The old friend's letter—Kindness of friends . . º CHAPTER XI. (1876.) “The Turned Lesson”—Patient wº.º. with E. C., going to India—Upton Bishop Vicarage—The brother's organ and last singing— The last visit to §.º. £our Toi"—Bible reading to peasants—The Great St. Bernard–Champèry—Baroness Helga von Gramm-Alpine cards—Illness at Pension Wengen—Return home— {{ My King '—Pruning & ſº - e * º e & e g CHAPTER XII. (1877.) Letters—The mystery of pain—The Lord's graying tool–Loyal letters— “Won't you decide to-night?"—Manhood for Christ's service—Splen- did promises—“My silver and my gold”—Mildmay : its intercessions, greetings, hushing t;. — A crumb from the King's table — The Christian Progress Union. sº º & 93 II4 125 I53 18A CHAPTER XIII. (1878.) Sympathy with sorrowful suffering—“Just as Thou wilt.”—The mother's last smile—Called to rest—The home nest stirred up—Clear guidance— “Another little step"—Last days in Leamington—Nieces and nephews— Devonshire visits—The Welsh nest—“My study”—The harp-piano— More work—The sweep of Jehovah's pencil—Bible readings—“Take my love”—Songs in a weary Christmas night • * - * * CHAPTER XIV. (1879.) New Year's sunshine—Journal of mercies—Prayer and intercessions— Work “if the Lord will”—London—The law of the Lord a delight —Prospering—“Loving all along”—“ Bruey" success—Irish plans— Temperance work—The oldest friend's visit—“Can I go to India?” —Last Y. W. C. A. address—“Little Nony”—Last letters—Costly stones—The last “Sunday crumb" card º & o * º º CHAPTER XV. THE LAST WEEK. The donkey-boy—My Temperance regiment—Work on the village bank- Sailor friends—Helga's pictures—"God's will delicious”—Good Mary and kind nurse—“How good and kind to come”—The last Sunday- The last hymns—Last messages—“Do speak bright words for Jesus º º .* last song at the Golden Gate—With the King—Astley Church- yar º º º º tº º º e º º * APPENDIX . . . . . . . e e tº a º º 2O7 22O 236 349 " ) | | | º ||| t * ? tº: º ºil., tº MEMORIALS OF F. R. H. A- ~ CHAPTER I. (1836–1844.) Introduction — Birth — Brothers and sisters – Name — Birthday wreaths—Astley Rectory (illustration)—Her father's music —New home at Henwick—Flora's epitaph—Reading under the table—First rhyme. • E do not often see the risings of our rivers, the tiny spring lies hidden in some mountain home. Even when the stream gathers strength in its downward course, it meets with many an obstructing boulder, passes Jhrough many an unfrequented valley, and traverses here and there a sunless ravine. But the river deepens and widens, and is most known, most navigable, just as it passes away for ever from our gaze, lost in the ocean depths. And thus it was with the early life of that dear sister whose course I would now attempt to trace. Those who only knew her when her words were flowing deeply and widely, around, little guess the dark shadows on her early course. It is most difficult to know what to give, and what to withhold, in these pages. In simple dependence A 2 MEMORYAZS OF F. R. H. º -** **-*----- on God's overruling guidance, a selection is now made from what she little thought would ever be published. Remembering one of her latest whispers, “I did so want to glorify Him in every step of my way,” it is thought right to unfold these life-records. May her desire be fulfilled ! “Come nearer, Sun of Righteousness, that we, Whose dim, short hours of day so swiftly ruz, So overflowed with love and light may be, So lost in glory of the nearing Sun, That not our light, but Thine, the world may see, New praise to Thee through our poor lives be won." FRANCEs RIDLEY HAVERGAL was born on the 14th of December 1836, and was the youngest child of William Henry Havergal and Jane his wife. Her father was then Rector of Astley, Worcestershire. The names of her brothers and sisters, in the order of their birth, were — 1. Jane Miriam, who married Henry Crane, Esq., of Oakhampton, near Stourport. 2. Henry East, vicar of Cople, Bedfordshire, who died 1875. Married Frances Mary, daughter of George J. A. Walker, Esq., Norton, near Worcester. 3. Maria Vernon Graham. 4. Ellen Prestage, who married Giles Shaw, Esq., of Celbridge Lodge, county Kildare, now of Winterdyne, Bewdley. 5. Francis Tebbs, vicar of Upton Bishop, near Ross, Married Isabel Susan, daughter of Colonel W. Martin. On the 25th of January 1837, Frances was baptized in Astley Church by the Rev. John Cawood, incumbent of St. Ann's, Bewdley. Her godmothers were Miss Lucy Emra, of St. George's Vicarage, near Bristol, authoress of “Iawrence the Martyr,” “Heavenly Themes,” and other & tº ºrg/A 7" TATE • Å." DO 7A. A. A. PA ESAEA77." 3 poems; and Miss Elizabeth Cawood, whose clever and attractive brightness had ever great influence over her little goddaughter. Her godfather was the Rev. W. H. Ridley, rector of Hambleden. In the “Ministry of Song” we read how Frances loved her name of Ridley, and that she bore it from one descended from the godly and learned Bishop Ridley, of the noble army of martyrs. * * “But ‘what the R. doth represent’ I value and revere, A diamond clasp it seems to be, On golden chains, enlinking me In loyal love to England's hope, The Church I hold so dear.” “Our sweet baby,” her father wrote, “grows nicely. She was baptized last Wednesday, ‘Frances Ridley.’ All are eager for her to be called Fanny, but I do not like it.” However, as a child we called her Fanny, but from the time of the publication of her first book, “The Ministry of Song,” Frances was her usual signature, and she much preferred her baptismal name. Her unique surname was spelt Heavergill in 1694, afterwards Havergill, or Havergall, but always Havergal since Orthography in general ceased to vary. The derivation of the name is thought to be “Aeaver-gill, the heaving or rising of the brook or gill.” My sister Miriam supplies the next link. “My recollection of Frances begins with the first day of her life; a pretty little babe even then, and by the time she reached two years of age, with her fair com- plexion, light curling hair, and bright expression, a prettier child was seldom seen. At that age she spoke with perfect ° distinctness, and with greater fluency and variety of 4 A/E.1/OA&MAZS OF F. ſº. Aſ --~~. - ...<------ - - - - r * ~ * :- - ---- - - - - ----------- *-* * *-*º language than is usual in so young a child. She compre. hended and enjoyed any little stories that were told her. I remember her animated look of attention when the Rev. J. East told her about a little Mary who loved the Lord Jesus. We were all taught to read early, and to repeat, by our dear mother; but as I had now left school I undertook this charming little pupil: teaching her reading, spelling, and a rhyme (generally out of Jane Taylor's), for half an hour every morning, and in the afternoon twenty or thirty stitches of patchwork, with a very short text to repeat next morning at breakfast. When three years old, she could read easy books, and her brother Frank remembers how often she was found hiding under a table with some engrossing story.” The Rev. F. Jeffery, aſterwards vicar of Sway, was at this time our father's curate at Astley. The following is an extract from his letter, September 29th 1879 — “I well recollect Astley Rectory more than forty years ago. At that time your sister Frances was rather more than two years old, a very fairy-like creature. Her chief companion was then a white and tan Spaniel, such as Landseer might have loved, and this little favourite she called Flora or Flo. At morning prayers she always sat on her father's knee while he read the Scriptures. It is likely that she learned to read as a mere pastime. I well remember her sweet infant voice singing little hymns in imitation of her father. Her nursemaid was recom- mended by Miss Cawood, from the Bewdley Sunday School. The day she was four years old her little maid brought her down after dinner to dessert, crowned with a wreath of bay-leaves. I shall never forget the picture She was her dear mother in miniature, especially in the brightness of her expression and the sparkle of her eye. A line from a classic poet was quoted exactly expressing this. I mention this as well remembering the great beauty of your dear mother. . . . To-day it is exactly fourteen years since I saw the sun for the last time, but AſO UA' | E_4 RS O.L.D. 5 it would need many more years than that, to blot out my recollection of Astley Rectory. “Ah ! how each dear domestic scene I knew Charms with the magic of a moonlight view, Its colours mellowed not impaired by time !” Her sister Miriam continues: “At four years old, Frances could read the Bible and any ordinary book correctly, and had learned to write in round hand. French and music were gradually added; but great care was always taken not to tire her or excite the precocity of her mind, and she never had a regular governess. “Mr. Jeffery has referred to her wreath of bay on her fourth birthday, and I remember making a wreath of the pink china roses which grew among the ivy on the rectory on her third birthday. Alas ! the rose and the prophetic bay reappeared among her funeral wreaths.” e The surroundings of dear Frances' early days in our Astley home may as well be given in the descriptive lines of my sister Miriam, written in 1863, accompanying her sketch of the church and rectory.* “Behold thy birthplace, Frances ! The old house Entwined with ivy, roses, and the vine; 3eneath the shadow of the ancient shrine Where ministered our father twenty years. He built the northern aisle, and gave the clock, A musical memento of his love For time and tune and punctuality Fair is the garden ground, and there the flowers Were trained with care and skill by one who now Rests from her labours in the heavenly land. Here life and death together meet; the tombs * See Frontispiece, 6 MEMORALS OF F. R. H. Stand close beside the mossy bank, where once Sisters and brothers met in frolic play. Around, the wooded hills in beauty rise : Earth has not many scenes more fair than this, And none more dear to those who called it Home 1” Our Sunday evening hymn singing is vividly recalled, in which little Fanny soon took part. At this time our dear father was an invalid; music was his solace, and he composed cathedral services, also many hundreds of chants and tunes, and several sacred songs, the profits of which were always devoted to various Societies, home and foreign, and the restoration of churches.” Beside the rich chords and tuneful song in our home, there were wise and holy influences. Our parents' prayers and example in searching the Scriptures, and their loving cheery ways, activity, and punctuality, were the key. notes of our child-life. One of our mother's letters is given, written when Fanny was away on her first visit (1840). I AM so glad to hear how happy you are at Wycombe. Try and be very obedient to dear grandmamma and your sister Ellen, and I hope you will do all you can to please dear grandpapa. I miss you very much, and often think I hear you call “mamma,” or expect you are coming to me. You remember the three little babies at Dunley. Jane, the one that you nursed, is gone to heaven. May my Fanny know and love Jesus Christ then she will be sure to go to heaven whether she dies young or old. * My father's first published musical composition was a setting of Bishop Heber's hymn “From Greenland's icy mountains.” The proceeds amounted to £180, and were devoted to the Church Missionary Society. In 1836 the Gresham prize medal was awarded to him for a cathedral service in A. In 1841 a second gold medal was adjudged for his anthem, “Give Thanks.” * E/7 ERA R }^ AVO PECIA 7'E. 7 ----- Some of the seeds are come up in your garden; I love to watch them, because you helped me to sow them. Dear papa sends his love. Good-bye, dear Fanny. From dear Mamma. In 1842 the living of Astley was resigned, and Henwick House, in the parish of Hallow, was our temporary home till our dear father's appointment by Bishop Pepys to the Rectory of St. Nicholas, Worcester, in 1845. The only distinct remembrance of this time is of Frances' delight in the gardens and long terrace walk at Henwick, with sundry agile tree climbings. Perhaps her first grief was the death of her little dog Flo, which was buried under the snowy Mespilus tree in the back lawn. The sheet of paper is preserved on which she wrote: “Here lies little Flora. Died April 16th 1844. Aged 7. Reverence her remains.” Frances always took care to be in the drawing-room while a professor was giving German lessons. Without any one knowing it, she was listening and acquiring the language. When discovered, she had made such progress that Mr. Lorentz begged he might instruct her. The treasured little book in which she wrote her childish hymns and rhymes begins with the following verses written at the age of seven — SUNDAY is a pleasant day, When we to church do go ; For there we sing and read and pray, And hear the sermon too. On Sunday hear the village bells; It seems as if they said, Go to the church where the pastor tells How Christ for man has bled. 8 MEA/OA’AA LS OF F. R. Af. And if we love to pray and read While we are in our youth, The Lord will help us in our need And keep us in His truth, All her rhymes are dated, and also some simple tales, written in a copybook for the benefit of her little niece Miriam. From nine years old and upwards she wrote long and amusingly descriptive letters, in perfect rhyme and rhythm, to her brother Frank and her young friends. There would have been a long blank now but for the Autobiography of her inner child-life. It was written for her sister Maria, and unsealed only a few weeks ago. As the shadows on her morning pathway contrast with the light that shone more and more unto the perfect day, it is thought right to give these pages in all their truthful simplicity. C H A P T E R I. I. (1843–1848.) Autobiography from six years old—Wanting to be happy—Sunday chapters and prayer — Golden light — Waving boughs — “The caged lark”—No hypocrisy — Mother's last words — Death — No trance –The cry of the motherless—Wales— Oakhampton. AUTOBIOGRAPHY. (Written in 1859.) HAVE often already planned and half intended to write for my own amusement in coming years a sort of little autobiography of those which are past; but this idea, although my life would furnish plenty of small adventures and incidents, I have now for several reasons laid aside; I scarcely think it would repay the necessary outlay of many precious hours. For more and more do I feel what valuable capital Time is, capital which must not be put out at merely any interest, but as far as possible at the best and highest. In lieu, however, of a history of my outer life, I do think that a little account of my own inner life would be a not unprofitable invest- ment of an evening hour. And may He who has led me these twenty-two “years through the wilderness” send His blessing upon me while I “remember all the way” by which He, I trust, has brought me hitherto. My reasons for undertaking this little task are these: 1st. I have found it so very pleasant and profitable to look back frequently upon what have been God's deal. ings with me, that a written retrospect is likely, with His 9 I tº A&E MORIAA.S OF F. R. H. blessing, to prove still more useful and delightful, as being less cursory and more definite. 2nd. I have always avoided keeping a diary, feeling certain that it never would or could be a strictly faithful picture of passing-Soul life; yet I think an account of the fast, in a bird's-eye view, would be far easier to give in a true and uncoloured light than any memoranda of a present, which would be tinged with the prevailing hues of the moment, morning, noon, or twilight. Therefore, as I feel sure that I shall not retain such a clear recollection of each year's history when memory is more burdened, and as I believe that even our own “experience” is a thing given to be used and improved, it seems almost a duty to endeavour to preserve it as clear and ready for reference and use (at times when “His love in times past” may be an anchor for the storm- beset spirit) as may be. 3rd. A diary no eye but mine should ever see. But, for one reason, one eye shall read these pages, if it should be God's will that the volume of my life should soon close. It is this. While I do humbly trust, though tremblingly, that I am a child of God, I know, and knowing bewail it, that much in my life and conversation has not been, and is not “as be- cometh the gospel of Christ;” and there must be some, if not many, among my own beloved ones, who have no direct evidence concerning me, and whom I must have often grieved by my inconsistency. And it might be that no opportunity of any “deathbed evidence” may be given me, or that my remaining time may be so short that I may never be able to show, by a closer walk with God, that I am truly His. And as He has in His wonderful, most wonderful, mercy given me hope, I would not that any dear to me should sorrow for me as without hope. So I shall give this to my dear sister Maria, to be opened only in case of my death ; that she may have the comfort of hoping, that even in my darkest and most careless days I was not utterly forsaken of that Spirit, who I pray may never cease to strive with me. A UTOBIOGRAA’HFY. I I “Call to remembrance the days of old.” “Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God hath led thee.” 1843–1845. Up to the time that I was six years old I have no remembrance of any religious ideas whatever. Even, when taken once to see the corpse of a little boy of my own age (four years), lying in a coffin strewn with flowers, in dear papa's parish of Astley, I did not think about it as otherwise than a very sad and very curious thing that that little child should lie so still and cold. I do not think I could ever have said any of those “pretty things,” that little children often do, though there were sweet and beloved and holy ones round me who must have often tried to put good thoughts into my little mind. But from six to eight I recall a different state of things. The beginning of it was a sermon preached one Sunday morning, at Hallow Church, by Mr. (now Archdeacon) Phillpotts. Of this I even now retain a distinct im- pression. It was to me a very terrible one, dwelling much on hell and judgment, and what a fearful thing it is to fall into the hands of the living God. No one ever knew it, but this sermon haunted me, and day and night it crossed me. I began to pray a good deal, though only night and morning, with a sort of fidget and impatience, almost angry at feeling so unhappy, and wanting and expecting a new heart, and have everything put straight and be made happy, all at once. This sort of thing went on at intervals, not at all con- tinuously, for often a month or two would pass without a serious thought or anything like true prayer. At such times I utterly abominated being “talked to,” would do anything on earth to escape the kindly meant admonitions of dear M , or the prayers which she would offer for me. Any cut or bruise (and such were more the rule than exception in those wild days of tree-climbing, wall scaling, etc.) was instantly adduced as a reason why I I 2 MEMORYA LS OF F. A. H. G could not possibly kneel down. A chapter in the Bible was often a terrible bore. Then, after a time of this sort, Some mere trifle, very often the influence of a calm beautiful evening, or perhaps a “Sunday book” of some affecting kind, would rouse me up to uncomfortableness again. One sort of habit I got into in a steady way, which was persevered in with more or less fervour according to the particular fit in which I might be. Every Sunday afternoon I went alone into a little front room (at Henwick) over the hall, and there used to read a chapter in the Testament, and then knelt down and prayed for a few minutes, after which I usually felt soothed and less naughty. Once when Marian P. was spending a few days with me, she being my only little visitor at Henwick, I did not like any omission, and so took her with me, saying a few words of prayer “out of my head” without any embarrassment at her presence, I think I had a far more vivid sense of the beauty of nature as a little child than I have even now ; and its power over me was greater than any one would imagine. I have hardly felt anything so intensely since, in the way of a sort of unbearable enjoyment. Especially, and I think more than anything else, the golden quiet of a bright summer's day used to enter into me and do me good. What only some great and rare musical enjoy- ment is to me now, the shade of a tree under a clear blue sky, with a sunbeam glancing through the boughs, was to me then. But I did not feel happy in my very enjoy- ment; I wanted more. I do not think I was eight when I hit upon Cowpér's lines, ending “My Father made them all !” That was what I wanted to be able to say ; and, after once seeing the words, I never saw a lovely scene again without being teased by them. One spring (I think 1845) I kept thinking of them, and a dozen times a day said to myself “Oh, if God would but make me a Christian before the summer comes ſ” because I longed so to enjoy * His works as I felt they could be enjoyed. And I could A OVZ OAFAOGA*A PA/ P. 13 not bear to think of another summer coming and going, and finding and leaving me still “not a Christian.” I shall know some day why my Father left me to walk thus alone in my early childhood, why such long years of dissatisfaction and restlessness were apportioned me, while others fancied me a happy thoughtless child. But He must have been teaching me, and “who teacheth like Him?” Another soothing influence to me was the presence of any one whom I believed to be more than com- monly holy: not among those nearest and dearest to me at home, how perversely I overlooked them / but any very pious clergyman, or other manifest and shining Christian. The Rev. John Davies, of St. Clement's, I particularly reverenced; and his or any similar presence did me a sort of indefinite good. I used to want such to speak a word about good things to me, much as I hated it from those who would willingly have given it me. All this while I don't think any one could have given the remotest guess at what passed in my mind, or have given me credit for a single serious thought. I knew " was “a naughty child,” never entertained any doubts on the subject; in fact, I almost enjoyed my naughtiness in a savage desperate kind of way, because I utterly de- spaired of getting any better, except by being “made a Christian,” which, as months passed on, leaving me rather worse than better, was a less and less hoped for, though more and more longed for, change. Towards the end of these two years I think (though I do not dis- tinctly remember) that I must have become a shade quieter and happier, because of what is the first memory in my next little soul era. July 1845-Spring 1850. We went to St. Nicholas' Rectory in 1845, and it was in very great bitterness that I bade adieu to my pleasant country life, and became, as I remember dear papa calling me, “a caged lark.” This made a great difference to me, for I do think that the quiet everyday 14 A/EMOA&M A ZS OF F. A. H. beauty of trees and sunshine was the chief external influ. ence upon my early childhood. Waving boughs and golden light always touched and quieted me, and spoke to me, and told me about God. Being a “youngest” by so many years, and not knowing many children, I very rarely had a companion except my little Flora, in that large Henwick garden, where I first learned to think ; and that may have been the reason why trees and grass were so much to me. They were the first pleasant leaf in God's great lesson book with me. But at St. Nicholas' Rectory I had a little tiny room all my own, and that was quite the next best thing; its little window was my “country” (for a “walk” with another was never the same thing as those lonely loiterings in the garden), and soon the sky and the clouds were the same sort of relations to my spirit that trees and flowers had been. Soon after coming, a sermon by the curate on “Fear not, little flock,” etc., struck me very much, and woke me up again from a longer slumber to a more restless unhappi- ness than usual. I did so want to be happy and be “a Christian,” which term embraced everything I could possibly think of in the way of happiness. And I didn't at all see how I was to be, except by praying very hard; and that I had done so often that I got quite disheartened at its resultlessness. At this time I don't think I had any clear ideas about believing on the Lord Jesus, and so getting rid of the burden which had pressed so long upon my little soul. My general notion was that I didn't love God at all, and was very bad and wicked altogether ; that if I went on praying very much, something would come to me and change me all at once, and make me like many whom I read about and a few whom I saw. As for trying to be good, that seemed of next to no use; it was like struggling in a quicksand, the more you struggle the deeper you sink. To come back to the sermon. I had never yet spoken a word to any mortal about religion; but now I was so uneasy that, after nearly a fortnight's hesitation, taking the emboldening opportu- nity of being alone with the curate one evening when o A (WTOB/OGRAPH. P. 15 almost dark, I told him my trouble; saying especially that I thought I was getting worse, because since I had come to St Nicholas’ I had not cared at all for Sunday afternoon reading and prayer. His advice did not satisfy me. He said the excitement of moving and coming into new scenes was the cause most likely of my feeling worse, and that would soon go off; then I was to try and be a good child, and pray, etc., etc. So, after that, my lips were utterly sealed to all but God for another five years, or rather more. Even when feeling most, I fancied I could as soon speak Sanscrit or die, as utter a word to a human being as to what was only between me and God. This intense reserve must have grieved those who loved me. Consequently, too, anything like hypocrisy was the sin of all others which I could least understand, and imagined the most impossible to commit. How could any one say or seem more than they felt, when it was so impossible to say as much as one felt My dear mamma's illness and death (July 5th 1848) did not make the impression on me which might have been expected; I mean as regards my spiritual state, for my intense sorrow, childish though it was, seems even now, after the lapse of eleven years, a thing of which I do not like to speak or think. A mother's death must be childhood's greatest grief. But I am trying now to write only of my soul's life. I did not at all expect her departure, and shut my ears in a very hardened way to those who tried to prepare me for it; so when it came I was not ready, and there was nothing but bitterness in it to me. I did not, would not, see God's hand in it, and the stroke left me worse than it found me. One subject often occupied my mind in these years, which would seem unusual for a child—The Lord's Supper. After coming to St. Nicholas', almost every monthly sacrament made me thoughtful. I begged to be allowed to stay in the church and see it administered “only once,” but this apparently mere curiosity was not gratified, so I used to go round to the vestry and listen C to the service through the door. One Sunday the hymn, t 6 MEA/OA'AAA.S OF AZ, Aº’. H. “My God, and is Thy table spread?” was sung before 'sermon; it quite upset me, and I cried violently, though being in a corner of the pew I managed to conceal it. I used to reckon the years to the time when the invitation would extend to me too, not by any means happily, for I wondered what I should ever do; I could not stay away, but how could I dare to go? “Well, I hope I shall be a Christian by then ſ” was my only comfort. sºmº- Turning from the Autobiography, some of her mother's words are given. “You are my youngest little girl, and I feel more anxious about you than the rest. I do pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you. And remember, no- thing but the precious blood of Christ can make you clean and lovely in God's sight.” Frances. “Oh, mamma, I am sure you will get better and go to church again ſ” “No, dear child; the church mamma is going to is the general assembly and church of the firstborn in heaven. How glorious to know I shall soon see my Saviour face to face | Now go and play and sing some of your little hymns for me; there is one verse I should like you to sing twice over: “And when her path is darkened She lifts her trusting eye, And says, “My father calls me To mansions in the sky 1’” Before her mother's death (when she was eleven years old) her wish was gratified to see the Lord's Supper administered. We remember her grave flushed face, when kneeling at her mother's bed during the “Com- munion of the Sick.” * AO UAE A/4 PPP DA VS.” 17 The whole story of her child-life at this time is told in her “Four Happy Days,” in which, under the name of “Annie,” she reveals the bitterness of this first grief. We can almost see her in her tiny bedroom, “kneeling on the chair, leaning on her little arms on the window- seat, and feeling as if she wished she had something to lean her little heart on too. The clouds had been her great friends since she had had no trees to sit in and Imake up fancies about. Sometimes she watched the clouds and wondered all sorts of things about them, and especially wished she could reach the splendid white ones which looked like snow mountains that could be climbed and rested upon. But she found in a book that they were only vapour like the others, and that there would be nothing to rest upon and look down upon, only dismal thick mist and rain. Poor child ! there are other bright things besides shining clouds, which when reached are only mist and tears. . . . She was musing over some words which had just been spoken in her mother's room. ‘Fanny dear, pray to God to prepare you for all that He is preparing for you.’ Her mamma said them very feebly and solemnly when she said good-night, and now they seemed to sound over and over again, so that they never should or could be forgotten. “I wonder what He is preparing for me,’ she thought. ‘Oh, I do hope He is preparing one of the many mansions for me ! How I wish I knew whether He is . But I don’t think He is preparing me for it, else I should not feel naughty so often.' But her mamma meant something sadder and nearer, which she knew God was surely preparing day by day for her little girl; she knew it could not be very long before she would be singing the ‘new song’ in perfect joy, while all her child's little songs would be hushed in great sorrow, the greatest that a child can know. Her mainina B A 8 MEMOA’A.4/S OF AZ AC. H. saw how strangely she was unprepared for all this, and she never would stay to listen to anything her sisters said about their dear mamma being worse.” Only a few weeks before her own death, Frances referred to this: “The words mamma taught me in 1848 have been a life prayer with me. This ‘preparing’ goes on ; it is as when gaining one horizon, another and another spreads before you. So every event prepares us for the next that is prepared for us. Mamma's words I also remember, ‘Dear child, you have your own little bedroom now, it ought to be a little Bethel.’ I could not then make head or tail of what she meant, and often wondered, till some months after, when reading in Genesis I came to the chapter; and then I understood it. Having that small room to myself developed me much as a child; it was mine, and to me it was the cosiest little nest in the world.” We must take one more look (from the “Four Happy Days”) at St. Nicholas' Rectory, on the 11th of July 1848. “Annie [Frances] was standing by the window in a front room, looking through a little space between the window and blind. All the shops were shut up, though it was not Sunday. She knew it would be dreadful to look out of that window, and yet she felt she must look. She did not cry, she only stood and shivered in the warm air. “Very slowly and quietly a funeral passed out of the front [Rectory] gate, and in another minute was out of sight, turning into the church. Then she stood no longer, but rushed away to her own little room, and flung herself on her little bed, and cried, ‘Oh, mamma mammal mamma l' It seemed as if there was nothing else in her litttle heart but that one word. The strange hope which had lasted all that week was gone. She had found curious things in books, and one was that people THE cry of THE MOTHER/ Ess. 19 had sometimes been supposed to be dead, and yet it was only a trance, and they had revived and even recovered. And so, when no one was near, she had gone again and again into that room, and drawn the curtain aside, half expecting to see the dear eyes unclose, and to feel the cold cheek warm again to her kiss. But it was no trance. The dear suffering mother was at rest, seeing Jesus face to face. Only the smile of holy peace was left on that lovely face, and that remained to the last, telling of life beyond death; she had never seen the solemn beauty of that smile before. But now all hope was gone, and she knew that she was motherless.” In her little book of poems she wrote: Eye hath not seen, nor ear hath heard, Neither can man's heart conceive, The blessed things God hath prepared For those who love Him and believe. July 5th, 1848. And again : Oh I had I the wings of a dove, Soon, soon would I be at my rest; I would fly to the Saviour I love, And there would I lie on His breast, July 9th. On a marble tablet in St. Nicholas’ Church, Worcester, is this inscription— JANE, The beloved Wife of Rev. W. H. HAVERGAL, M.A., Rector of this Parish, and Hon. Canon of Worcester Cathedral, ** Died in holy peace, July 5th 1848, AGED 54 YEARS. “I give unfo them eternal life.” 20 MEMORAAES OF F. R. F. After this sorrowful time our dear father took us all away to North Wales. On our return Frances often visited her sister Miriam's home, Oakhampton, where she is remembered as a clever amusing child, sometimes a little wilful and troublesome from mere excess of animal spirits, but always affectionate and grateful for any little treat; reading a good deal of poetry, and leaving traces of her studies in volumes found in hayloft and manger and garden nooks. When at St. Nicholas' Rectory, she threw herself into the work of her society for providing warm clothing; and her chief coadjutor (whom she calls “Maria” in “Four Happy Days”) was the youngest daughter of Michael Thomas Sadler, M.P. Though her grief for her dear mother's death was very deep, she ever tried to conceal it. Not that it was always heavy upon her, for as she writes: “If anything else occupied my attention I had a happy faculty of forgetting everything else for the moment. And thus it happened that a merry laugh or a sudden light-heeled scamper upstairs and downstairs led others to think I had not many sad thoughts, whereas not a minute before my little heart was heavy and Sad.” C H A P T E R III. (1848–1852.) The new decade—Meteor flashes—“Oh for faith”—School at last — Showers, but no blessing — Breaking the ice — The climax—The school sunbeam—A gleam of hope—Trusting Jesus—School again—Illness and patience—Wales—Singing and responding at “Taffy services.” AUTOBIOGRAPHY RESUMED, KNOW I did not love God at this time, the very I thought of Him frightened me; but sometimes a feeling not unlike love would make me go to sleep with a wet pillow. It would often be thus. Going to bed I would determine I would try to think about God, hard as it was ; and after I lay down, as my thoughts did not flow at all naturally heavenward, any more than water flows upward, I forced them into a definite channel by a half whisper. “How good it was of God to send Jesus to die I" was my usual beginning, while I by no means felt or believed that wonderful goodness. Nevertheless it usually ended in my crying most heartily because I was so bad and He was so good, and because I didn't and couldn't love Him when He even died for sinners. Here I ought to say that, from preservation from one deadly error, I ought especially to be thankful to my ever watchful Keeper. Never for one moment, even from my earliest childhood, have I ever been tempted to think otherwise of myself than as a great and miserable and helpless sinner. Never have I dared to think myself “as good as others,” for even as a little child I knew and felt the sinfulness of my own heart. Never has the 21 22 MEMORIA LS OF F. R. H. shadow of a hope in my own righteousness, or of any trust in myself, crossed my mind. Yet even this I say with the reservation that it is and has been so, as far as my own consciousness goes, for every year shows me more and more the utter deceitfulness of the heart : “Who can know it !” Oh the comfort of thinking that there is One who knows it, and can therefore cleanse its most hidden chambers from their dark pollution. “O God, unto whom all hearts be open,” etc., is one of the sweetest things in our sweet Liturgy, to me; and it is wonderful what confidence it has often given me. So passed the five years till the spring of 1850, a time full of many recollections which I should like to retrace had I not determined to abide by my intention of recall- ing only the history of what I would now dare to hope, though for many years I doubted it, is God's own work in me, which He, according to His promise, will perfect in His own time. 1850 (Spring) to 1851 (February). The bells were ringing in the new year, and not year only but decade, when Maria awoke me and said, “It is 1850 now, Fanny l’ It was quite dark, and I lay listen- ing to the new year's birth-song in silence. A dim looking onward through a fresh “ten years” all the way till 1860 came before me; I should be grown up if I lived; I a woman, how curious it seemed ! Perhaps I should be dead, and where P If I lived should I be a Christian P. That was the great thing in all my anticipa- tions of coming years; but in a solemn hour, like a new year's midnight, it grew greater and more important than ever. The sound of the bells died away, and all was quiet again. I did not muse long, but fell asleep to wake up in the first gray twilight of 1850. Now the decade has nearly glided by (the first entire one in my recollection); the new year's bells of 1860 will soon be sounding forth ; God has preserved my life hitherto; and how shall I answer the great question then, A UTOBIOGRAPHY". 23 not “shall I be’” but “am I a Christian P” May I, trusting and believing in the Lord Jesus as I do hope He has taught me to do, answer this great question of my life with a humble yet confident “yes?” And, in entering upon another ten years, may I not hope that “to him that hath shall be given,” that He will give me more faith, hope, and love, more knowledge of Himself, more meetness for His presence? A men / I don't so much remember particular incidents in the early part of this year as general feelings and impres- sions, which were then rather altered in character, so much so as to form the beginning of a new division in my heart story. This much I know, that a soberizing thoughtful time seemed to fall on me like a mantle, and my strivings were no longer the passionate spasmodic meteor flashes which they had been, but something deeper, more settled, more sorrowful. All this was secret and only within my own breast, for not only at this time, but all through my early life, there were but a very few who knew me to be anything but a careless merry girl, light-hearted in the extreme. This spring a strange new sense of the vanity of life and earth and everything but the one thing came over me, and when alone I sat and mused till I often cried. I began to look onward more, and feel that I should not be a child much longer (I was thirteen); and then years would go by so quickly, people said they did, they went faster even then to me; and what would they bring P vanity and sameness and vexation ? And life began to seem such a little thing to me, such “a handbreadth,” and what was there in it to care for P I couldn't expect a happier lot than I had, and yet all I had was unsatisfactory; and I should always be myself too, and I hated myself, so what was to be done P Two or three things happened (though I do not at all remember what) which tended very strongly to confirm these sad thoughts; death seemed around me; “passing away” earth's motto; “vanity” life's keynote. As the beautiful spring came on there was a mist of melancholy 24 AMEA/OA’A,4/.S OF F. R. A. over the very flowers: they had opened; well, what matter? they would fade again, and so would every- thing ! I did not enjoy that spring as I had others, its charm was gone. In the end of May I joined Ellen in London, and we spent six weeks of gorgeous summer weather together at Wycombe with grandpapa. What brought it before me I don’t know, but now came a more definite and earnest prayer for faith. Oh to believe in Jesus, to believe that he had pardoned me ! I used to go to bed rather early, and lie awake in the long summer twilight till Ellen came up, praying for this precious gift. Oh for faith ! That was my cry; but it was not given, tº at least not as and when I asked. I read a great deal of the Bible at this time in a “straight on” sort of way, expecting to come to something which would set me free and bring the great gift of faith within my grasp. How I got it I can't in the least tell; but certainly about this time I had a clearer idea of salvation than ever be- fore, though I fancied myself farther than ever from its blessedness. - This reminds me that as a child I read a good deal ... of the Bible, Isaiah being nearly my favourite book from the time I was ten or eleven. I never succeeded in reading for any length of time on any regular plan, because if I missed at all in one I got disheartened and ennuyée, and after giving up altogether for a little while, began something else. Once I determined, if eternal life were in the Scriptures, find it I would, and resolved to begin giving an hour a day to very careful and prayer. ful reading of the New Testament. Then came the great break in the current of my outer life, and with it a development of the inner, August 15th 1850, to my great delight I went to school. And that single half-year with dear Mrs. Teed, formerly of Great Campden House, at Belmont now, was perhaps the most important to me of any in my life. The night before I went, Ellen, dear, gentle, heavenly sister that she was, stood by me, brushing my hair, and taking the last opportunity of loving counsel. She told me that I was A C/7 OAZOGRAPH. V. 25 going to begin a new chapter in my life: stay, her words were, “One of the great events of your life, Fanny " and then she was silent. I was captiously disposed, and rather wanted to avoid a serious conversation, so I answered carelessly, for I knew by the tone of her voice what she wanted to lead on to. But it would not do, she went on till I was softened,—a most unusual thing under the process of being talked to, which generally had the most opposite effect. She spoke of God's love, and of how pleasant and sweet a thing it was to love Him who first loved us. I could not stand it, and for the first time for five years I spoke out: “I can't love God yet, Nellie (" was all I said, but I felt a great deal II].OTC. Next day I went. Maria took me, and we reached Belmont quite in the evening. It was nearly prayer- time, and Maria and I were left to have some tea alone in the great drawing-room. We had just finished when voices reached us, and we tried to find our way in their direction. They came from the schoolroom, where the girls were singing their evening hymn prior to the weekly address of their chaplain. It sounded very sweet and soothing, as we stood behind the door in the last glow of sunset, and somewhat subdued the spirits and the curiosity which were exciting me considerably. Then Miss Teed came out and brought us in, just as Mr. Parker was beginning his sermon. It was from some text in Samuel which I forget; but the two leading ideas were, that we should begin the new half-year with the Saviour who loved us and gave Himself for us, and in a spirit of helpful love one toward another. It was a rather long address, and I was very tired and excited, so I know I did not listen to it nearly all ; but this much I have retained until now, and it was the keynote of my prayer that evening as I knelt for the first time beside my little school bed, so white and curtainless. How I should like to run on with many reminiscences of school life But I will not It was not long before I felt that Mrs. Teed's teaching was something more than 2 # ME MOA’AA LS OF A. R. A.F. º: it. Mary common, but, till towards the end of the half-year, things went on much as usual with me. After the middle of the half-year there was a difference. It was Mrs. Teed's finale to her long course of school work, and she longed and prayed that it might indeed be finished with joy through the outpouring of God's blessing upon her labours. That none might leave her roof unimpressed was her desire, and it was to a great extent fulfilled. She prayed and spoke with us, together and individually, with a fervour which I have never since seen equalled, and seemed a very St. Paul in the intensity of her yearning over us. The result is what might be really called a revival among her young charge. There may have been and probably was some excitement; but that the Holy Spirit was, even then and there, sent down into many a young heart, and that many dated from that time their real conversion to God, and went home that Christmas rejoicing in a newly and truly found Saviour, I have no doubt whatever. My own two dearest friends were among these. But, before the full tide of all this blessing set in, I was ..luch in earnest. To begin with ; it must indeed have been a heart of stone that could resist dear Mrs. Teed's sweet and holy power. Besides, we had pious teachers who often spoke on the best things to us, and had little meetings for prayer weekly in their own rooms. And there were many Christian girls too, easily recognised by their general “walk and conversation,” almost by their very countenances; these I knew “took sweet counsel together,” and I envied them and longed to dare to share was one of these; we were naturally a great deal together, and I longed to be able to speak and tell her how unhappy I often was ; but it was long before I summoned courage. At last I did. “Mary, dites-moi, est-ce que vous aimez Dieu ?” (We always had to speak French.) She looked almost surprised, there was no doubt about the matter with her. “Oui, certainement,” she said, “je l'aime plus que je ne pourrais vous dire.” Then I burst into tears and sobbed out, “Eh bien, c'est A C/7 OB/OGRAPHY. 27 cela que je désire tant, et moi je ne le puis pas!” The ice was broken, and dear Mary spoke very sweetly to me: I did not regret my confidence this time. “Pouvez vous ou woulez vous dire que vous étes encore un petit enfant?” “Oh, oui, je sais que je ne suis qu'un enfant.” “Alors, écoutez 1 Jésus disait, “Suffer the little children,” etc. C'est chaque petit enfant qui doit venir à Lui, chaque petit enfant qu'il appelle, qu'il veut embrasser.” She begged me to go to Jesus and tell Him I wanted to love Him and could not, and then He would teach me to. The words of wise and even eminent men have since then fallen on my ear, but few have brought the dewy refresh- ment to my soul which the simple loving words of my little Heaven-taught schoolfellow did. But as yet they were only as a “very lovely song,” etc., though I loved to listen to them, and acted upon them in darkness and trembling. After this I had many talks with Mary, but with no one else. Even with Diana, the goddess almost among my school friendships, and whom I believed to be like Mary, not a syllable could I utter on the subject; though I longed to hear her speak to me as Mary did. November came, and with it a marked increase of anxiety among undecided, and earnestness among decided ones. I remember a feeling of awe stealing over me sometimes, at the consciousness that the “power of the Lord was present” among us. For so indeed it was. As day after day passed on, one after another might be observed (even though little or nothing were said) to be going through the great sorrow which seemed to prelude the after-sent peace; and day after day one after another, hitherto silent, spoke out and told what peace and joy in believing they had found, and blessed God that they ever came to Belmont. Religious topics became the common subjects of conversation among the girls; for even those as yet untouched could not but be struck with what passed around them. In very general conversation I occasionally joined, but more reservedly than any almost, and never alluding to my own feelings, though I knew what it was for my heart to feel as if it must burst. I am 28 MEMORALS OF F. R. H. not quite sure, but I think, when Elizabeth told me that she too had found peace, I told her enough of my heart to establish confidence between us. As I heard of one and another speaking in such terms of confidence and gladness, my heart used to sink within me, it seemed so utterly unattainable. I prayed despair- ingly, as a drowning man cries for help who sees no help near. I had prayed and sought so long, and yet I was farther off than these girls, many of whom had only begun to think of religion a few weeks before. It was so very dark around me; I could not see Jesus in the storm nor hear His voice. They spoke of His power and willing- ness to save, but I could find nothing to prove that He was willing to save me, and I wanted some special personal evidence about it. To know, surely, that my sins were forgiven, and to have all my doubts taken away, was what I prayed and waited for. Every day as it passed, while more were added to the rejoicing ones around me, only left me more hopeless, more heartsick at the hope deferred and often almost lost. Yet I drank in every word (and they were many) that I heard about Jesus and His salvation. I came to see that it was Christ alone that could satisfy me. I longed intensely to come to Him, I wept and prayed day and night; but “there was no voice nor any that answered.” The climax came about the first or second week in December. I shall never, never forget the evening of Sunday, December 8th. Either the sermon at church or * Mrs. Teed's subject, or both, had been Mark ii. 1-12. Anyhow, I knew we had heard much of that palsied one in his lonely helplessness, and of Christ's words of forgive- ness, bringing joy and power and healing. Diana had hardly seen me all day, which was an unusual thing, (She was the sunbeam of the school, and a most parti. cular friend of mine, and I loved her with a perfectly idolatrous affection,-such as, until that time, I had never given to any one. I, and most others, always supposed that her charming disposition and general sweetness A U7'OB/OGAEA PA. P. . 29 arose from a purer and deeper fount than could dwell in her own nature; yet she never spoke on Sacred things, though she seemed as faultless as a child could be.) For some days previously she had mixed as little as possible with others, though apparently unintentionally, and there had been a slight depression about her which, though probably unnoticed by others, struck me, from being accustomed to watch every changing light on her face with something approaching adoration. That even- ing as I sat nearly opposite to her at tea, I could not help seeing—nobody could—a new and remarkable radiance about her countenance. It seemed literally lighted up from within, while her voice (I wonder whether it was as musical to others as to me?) even in the commonest necessary remarks sounded like a song of gladness. Something was coming I was sure. Diana was not the same. I looked at her almost with awe, as one would on some spirit visitant. As soon as tea was over she came round to my side of the table, sat down by me on the form, threw her arm round me, and said: “Oh, Fanny, dearest Fanny, the blessing has come to me at last. Jesus has forgiven me, I know. He is my Saviour, and I am so happy . He is such a Saviour as I never imagined, so good, so loving ! He has not cast me out, He said so, and He says so to you. Only come to Him and He will receive you. Even now He loves you though you don't know it.” Much more she said which I do not remember, but the tone of her voice is as clearly sounding in my ear as if she still spoke. Yes, she had found peace, and more than peace,—overflowing, unspeakable joy; yet, even in the first gush of its shining waters, she thought of those around, and almost her first impulse was to desire that her friends should possess what had been given to her to find. Then she told me how, while every one had supposed her to be a Christian, she had not been so, though she had been seeking and praying for a long time; and how, that day, the words “Thy sins be forgiven thee” had struck her suddenly, 30 MEA/OA’IA IS OF F. R. F. and she had thought them over all day till the time came when she could be alone with Him who spoke them; and then came the joyful power of believing in the love and might of that gracious Saviour, and His death- bought pardon. Afterwards, she told me how new and strange many things seemed to her. The way in which she spoke of motives particularly impressed me. It was a new light to me. Actions, words, and intentions had been enough for me before, but from that evening I felt that my , standard was raised, and that henceforth my strivings after a holy life must include more than I had dreamt of. A consciousness of the purity of heart required by God came over me; and, though more disheartened than ever, I had learnt a great lesson. The few remaining days, till the holidays, passed much as before, except that the last two or three unsettled me, and made me very much indisposed for a continuance of the earnest steady toil of the foregoing weeks; for the first coming home from school, at the end of an unbroken half-year, is not a little thing to a child. From that time till the spring of the present year I date a course of weary seeking, inconstant and variable; often departed from, but as often renewed, and by God's grace never entirely given up; brightened from time to time with a gleam of hope; sweetened from time to time with a drop, though but a drop, of the still fountain of heavenly peace; yet, as a rule, passed in the cold mists of doubt, and the chilly storms of temptation and inward strife, and the dim twilight of miserable and even dis- appointed longing. Oh, how gladly I would have exchanged my best things of earth, my happiest months and years, as far as outward things were concerned, with any one's lot, however wretched, who possessed that joy in the Lord which I could not find. At any time I would willingly have lost or suffered anything, might it but have brought me to the attainment of “full assurance.” And I am quite sure that nothing, in the way of earthly and external AUTOBIOGRAPHY 3i trials, could have been to me what the inner darkness and strife and utter weariness of spirit, through the greater part of these years, has been. Many may have thought mine a comparatively thornless path ; but often when the path was smoothest there were hidden thorns within, and wounds bleeding and rankling. February 1851. I feel that the beginning of this year ought to be marked as the commencement of a new life-chapter, because it was then that, for the first time, I ever knew what it was to have one gleam of hope or trust in Christ, or one spark of conscious faith. Not that I would date conversion exactly from this time; that I cannot fix. The time I know not, the fact I would desire to “make sure” more and more, Having broken the ice by speaking on sacred things with a few at Belmont, it was the less difficult to do so again, and before long I made a confidante of Miss Cooke (who afterwards became my loved mother). I think it must have been February when she was visiting at Oakhampton at the same time with me, and had several conversations with me, each of which made me more earnest and hopeful. At last, one evening (I remember it was twilight), I sat on the drawing-room sofa alone with her, and told her again how I longed to know that I was forgiven. She asked me a question which led to the hearty answer that I was sure I desired it above everything on earth, that even my precious papa was nothing in comparison, L-brothers and sisters, and all I loved, I could lose everything were it but to attain this. She paused, and then said slowly: “Then, Fanny, I think, I am sure, it will not be very long before your desire is granted, your hope fulfilled.” After a few more words she said: “Why cannot you trust yourself to your Saviour at once P Supposing that now, at this moment, Christ were to come in the clouds of heaven, and take up His redeemed, could you not trust Him P Would not 32 MEMORAA LS OF F. P. F. —- His call, His promise, be enough for you ? Could you not commit your soul to Him, to your Saviour, Jesus P” Then came a flash of hope across me, which made me feel literally breathless. I remember how my heart beat, “I could, Surely,” was my response; and I left her suddenly and ran away up stairs to think it out. I flung myself on my knees in my room, and strove to realize the sudden hope. I was very happy at last. I could commit my soul to Jesus, I did not, and need not, fear His coming, I could trust Him with my all for eternity. It was so utterly new to have any bright thoughts about religion that I could hardly believe it could be so, that I had really gained such a step. Then and there, I committed my soul to the Saviour, I dº not mean to say without any trembling or fear, but I did—and earth and heaven seemed bright ſrom that moment—I did trust the Zord Jesus. For the next few days my happiness continued. Over and over again, I renewed that giving up my soul to the Saviour which had made entrance for the joy. For the first time my Bible was sweet to me, and the first passage which I distinctly remember reading, in a new and glad light, was the fourteenth and following chapters of St. John's Gospel. We went to Bewdley in the large carriage, and I rode outside, so had no conversation to disturb me. In coming home I took out a little Testament from my pocket, and read those beautiful chapters, feeling how wondrously loving and tender they were, and that now I too might share in their beauty and comfort. We must again leave the Autobiography, to supply some needed links. - In July 1851, our father married Caroline Ann, daughter of John Cooke, Esq., of Gloucester. One of Frances' poetical letters lovingly describes her satis- faction at this event. Her great desire to go to school was again gratified, SCHOOZ, AGAIAW. 33 *- and on the 5th of August 1851, she went to Powick Court, near Worcester. Being one of the first arrivals, Frances was invited to tea in the drawing-room, and exceedingly astonished Miss Haynes by throwing her arms around her, exclaiming, “I am so delighted to come to school l’ Towards December, however, when enjoying her studies, the intensity of her application was checked by severe erysipelas in her face and head. She was soon removed home, and both school and home studies were prohibited by medical order. I well remember her patience even then, when almost blind, and passing many weeks of precaution, wearisome to her naturally active mind and body. She was so extremely agile in every movement, a very fairy with her golden curls and light step, her dear father, calling her his “Little Quicksilver,” that to “lie still” was no light trial. Extracts from letters to Elizabeth Clay, her schoolfellow and life-long correspondent, will here and elsewhere supply an otherwise lost link; they extend over a period of twenty-eight years, and are those referred to in future pages as letters “to E. C.” COLWYN, NORTH WALEs, August 1852. We came here on the 2nd. The change is doing us all good, and we think dear papa's eyes are a little better. Colwyn suits me much better than Llandudno, and I am as well as possible. We find pretty walks ad infinitum, The donkey-girl teaches me Welsh. I think I learn it very fast, and I have a Welsh Testament and Prayer Book. At what Mary calls the “Taffy service” I can sing and chant and respond as fully as the natives themselves. tº º Now for a little quiet bit, to tell you how I am getting on. I wish I were not so impatient as I am, at hearing the (to me) dreadful news that I must on no account go to school again till after Christmas, and perhaps not at Ç 34 MEMORIA LS OF F. R. H. all ! Oh, I am so disappointed 1 I cannot bear to be ignorant and behind others in learning, so this check is just what I most needed. Still, I am sure it will be all right; and if I receive good things at the hand of such a Father, shall I murmur at such a drawback, which is only to teach me a lesson I must learn after all. # tº How bright everything seems with you ! I fear I shall never have such joy, still I do not give up seeking; but there seem so many things in the way. I have been thinking a great deal about my confirmation, though it will not be for two years. It seems such a solemn vow. I fear I should never have strength to keep it; but it is one of my most constant prayers that, if I am spared to be confirmed, I may never act as if I had not been. C H A P T E R IV. (1852–1855.). School at Düsseldorf–Journey to Westphalia — Leaving school — Numero I.—Autobiography resumed—Life in the pastor's family—The Countess zur Lippe—Letter from Pastor Schulze- Berge—The day of confirmation—In Worcester Cathedral— “Thine for ever” – Home life—Oakhampton enjoyment— “Welcome home to my father.” N November she accompanied her parents to Germany. (To E. C.) GRAFRATH, Movember 1852. . . . We arrived here, that papa might consult the great oculist, Dr. De Leuw. The Hofrath is very good to his poor patients, and attends to them most carefully, and never charges them anything; the village is full of them. The country round Gräfrath must be pretty in summer, and I have found some nice walks. The master of our hotel has a partiality for cats and dogs, and, as they follow him up to bed every night, the gentle patter of fifty-two feet is extremely amusing. The Hofrath says papa has incipient cataract, which he hopes to be able to disperse. As we need remain here only three weeks, we shall winter in Düsseldorf. I will tell you about my school there, to which I am long- ing to return. The “Louisenschule” is so called from the Queen of Prussia. There are no private schools here, and all the young ladies seem to attend this school, which numbers one hundred and ten scholars. . h5 36 Aff ºf MOA WA LS OF F. R. H. (To E. C.) KöNIGSwiNTER, May 13, 1853. ºn tº Having had a month's holiday here, l am going back to the Louisenschule. Fraulein Quincke is a very excellent schoolmistress, and the masters are un- doubtedly very good. My music master is extremely particular. I find some harmonic scales by Mendelssohn good practice, but all my pretty English splashy pieces are interdicted. I have joined the drawing class and am so fond of it. The school is under the direction of that good man, Pastor Krafft, so altogether papa has decided to let me have my way and return to school, while he and mamma travel about. I can chatter pretty fast in German, and am so well in with all their lesson plans, that I should be sorry not to return. I had an excellent testimony at the Easter examination. Papa has taken us an excursion into Westphalia, partly in the hope of finding some interesting cousins there, inasmuch as Dr. De Leuw and others assure us our name is Westphalian. But so far we have not suc- ceeded. We were delighted with Münster, the capital, a curious old German town. The market place is sur- rounded with beautiful arcades of massive stone (instead of wood as at Chester), the light figurate pillars and open stonework are extremely elegant. While mamma rested at the hotel, papa took me to the cathedral. The bells were chiming confusedly. It was a lovely evening after sunset. We went in, and I never saw any- thing so enchanting. The light, soft and faint, streamed in through the western window, casting upon the pave- ment, beneath, the shadows of the marble pillars which supported the organ, in a peculiar way. Scattered about were a few solitary worshippers, some before a cross or image, and some with books and tapers. We listened to what seemed to be the sound of very sweet chanting in the choir, but on going nearer it had ceased, and was echoing in another part. It was, in fact, the sound of # º ū) * z; MUWS7 ER CA 7"H/EZ) R.A. L. 37 the bells, their extremely beautiful tones floating softly through the long aisles of the cathedral. Altogether I cannot describe the impressions made upon one, but I can well imagine how the worshippers, kneeling about the Cathedral, might mistake the quiet soothing feeling, which such a scene easily induces, for holy devotion. Popery knows well how to lull and deceive, knows well how to entrap the senses and feelings; and nothing can be better suited to the natural heart than such a religion. Next morning a confirmation was held in one of the churches we happened to visit, and there, for the first time, I saw the elevation of the host. Have you ever seen it P You should for once. It is so saddening, so dreadful, at the tinkling of a bell to see a whole congre- gation kneel and worship a wafer Afterwards there was a procession round the church twenty times, with the host, acolytes, and incense, which same incense gives everything the most heathenish look; and, while banners and crosses and pictures of Saints passed round, a litany to the saints was chanted, with “Ora pro nobis” coming over and over again. We have made other excursions, etc. How much pleasure I have had, all I wish and all I want; but am I having my good things here? I wish I knew which Master I am serving. Should I let go my hold on Christ so often and so readily, if mine were a true hold on Him? I began so well at school, and thought that earthly learning would not for this time tempt me to forget heavenly things; but day after day I grew more eager for my lessons, and less earnest in seeking Jesus. e . It is pleasant to get good news from England. I am so proud and pleased about my brother Frank. He was ordained at Christmas, and accepted a curacy at Hereford with good Mr. Hanbury. Six months afterwards he was appointed to a minor canonry at Hereford Cathedral ; so he is the youngest Minor Canon ever elected in England. My dear brother Henry has another little daughter; how I love my brothers 38 AMEMORYAZS OF F. R. H. Č. :* 'r (To E. C.) QBERCASSEL, September 17, 1853. tº . I have left school for ever I suppose, and came here from Düsseldorf. What a suffocating feeling it is, leaving school for ever—a period, an era, completely passed and left behind One feels that childhood is over now, and a sense of tenfold increased respon- sibility and independence, so to speak, is a weight upon the spirit. The strings seemed loosed which have hitherto bound and yet protected one, – a child's obedience and diligence. One's future education and formation of character, whether for good or evil, depends now upon oneself; indeed in a measure one's whole life, one's happiness or misery through the whole pilgrimage, must be very, very greatly influenced by, and dependent on, that important time, the first year after leaving school. Many a power of mind must be exercised which, as yet, has had little opportunity to try its flight; judgment and discretion in a thousand things are needful; one must think and act far more for oneself; self-denial must be learnt; oh so much has to be done ! As a child, the education of the mind was more in other hands, but now the education of mind and heart is confided to one's own care, and there will be an account to give of how this has been performed. One's spirit is a precious diamond; the rougher cutting work has been done by other hands, now one must undertake its further beautify- ing oneself, the polishing and grinding needs care and diligence and attention, and if neglected how shall we find an excuse with the great Master Jeweller, who had given the costly stone into our care? Now a different place in life, in society, and in one's own family must be occupied; more is expected from one, many a little burden from which the child is exempt must now be taken up voluntarily. Then the past years, as memory brings the long panorama slowly, one picture after another, before one's view, how spotted, how defiled are even the fairest of these scenes; every year having brought new guilt to A UTOBIOGRAPHY RESUMED, 39 be mourned over ! But thankfulness must not be for- gotten amid the whirl of conflicting feelings and thoughts; not drops but rich full measure of happiness filled my cup, at least through the greater part of this time ; and many blessings, which till now I have scarcely been aware of, ought to make me very grateful to Him, who does indeed let His sun shine on the most unthank- ful and evil. You experienced all this a year ago, and so will understand it. is tº You will like to know the result of my last examina- tion. Only fancy, when the testimonies were given out at the Louisenschule, amidst heart beating and cheek flushing (especially mine), “Frances Havergal, Mumero Fins /* broke the still silence of the awed assemblage. You understand German enough to know that eins means one. Proud I was, partly on account of being a daughter of Britain. I did not go to sleep till nearly midnight, for pure delight and satisfaction. I can’t be satisfied without telling my friend the whole of the history. In the Louisenschule, when a girl has not learnt everything (as you know I did not), she receives merely her testimony but no number. This half-year, however, it seems that all the masters, in council assem- bled, were so very pleased with the Engländerin's (English girl's) papers and conduct, that they agreed to break their rule for once, and honour me with AWumero I., a thing which they had never done before I AUTOBIOGRAPHY RESUMED. The year 1853 was unique in some things. I was at school at Düsseldorf part of it; and stood alone (as far as I know) among the IIo girls. I do not think there was one besides myself who cared for religion. This was very bracing. I felt I must try to walk worthy of my calling, for Christ's sake; and it brought a new and very strong desire to bear witness for my Master, to adorn His doctrine, and to win others for Him. It made me more watchful and earnest than perhaps ever before, for I knew 40 AMAEMORALS OF F. R. H. . * that any slip, in word or deed, would bring discredit on my profession. There was very much enmity to any profession, and I came in for more unkindness than would have been possible in an average English school, where I believe the tone is infinitely higher in every way and the supervision far more strict. Results were: as to my schoolfellows mone, I do not know that I did any good among them ; though, towards the end of the time. several were certainly disarmed, and left off the small persecutions in which they had delighted, and were even affectionate to me. As to teachers, I had the reward of leaving with the best zeugniss in the whole school, and with the highest praise and regret from every one. As to myself, it was a sort of nailing my colours to the mast. I had taken a higher standard than ever before, and had come out more boldly and decidedly on the Lord's side than I might have done for years under ordinary circumstances. Yet the tide ebbed again before many months had passed, and I remember longing to be able to say, “O God, my heart is fixed,”—in bitter mourn- ing over its weakness and wavering. (Zeffer to E. C.) OBERCASSEL, 1853. You will want to know, dear Elizabeth, what brings me here. Dear papa's eyes have been lately quite at a standstill as to improvement. He is now with mamma at Heidelberg, leaving me under the care of a good pastor and his wife. Obercassel is a pleasant village on the Rhine. We see the Drachenfels, with a peep into a narrow rock-shut-in valley, through which the Rhine flows from Coblenz. That you may glance into my room, I send herewith a Raphaelistic sketch thereof Busts of Goethe and Schiller, shelves and table covered with German and French books, etc., etc. It will soon be dusk, and then I go down and take my place by the Pastor Schulze-Berge, who will read aloud, while A 7TER 7"O Z. C. 41 the pleasant frau pastorin and Lottchen work or knit. Conversational interruption, serious or amusing, will take their turn ; and Goethe, whose life is the subject, will be criticised in every light. Now, is not this very pleasant? I like my quarters amazingly, and am very happy. I get up at five o'clock, breakfast at seven ; then I study for four hours. Of course my books are nearly all German, and I write abstracts ; I also give one hour to French literature. How I do enjoy myself when I get to the German poets and Universal History, which I dive into with avidity. If anything strikes me, I can always refer to the good pastor. . . . . . I have opportunities here of seeing a little of German high life. Close by is the “court” of the Count zur Lippe, a family worthy of their rank and title. They live very simply, because they give more than half their income away. The dowager countess is a perfect pattern of a Christian noble lady, also her gentle suffering daughter, Mathilde. The count and his wife are now travelling in Italy. Then there is an adopted daughter, Fraulein von Clondt, whom I like very much. To her I go now regularly from 9 to Io a.m., to read some German author, which is very nice for me, and very kind of her. Besides that, I am constantly invited there to tea, or for some excur- sions, so that I see many of the German aristocracy who are often there. One of the countess's daughters is a princess; I should like her to come while I am here, as I have never spoken to a princess in my life I am often on the Rhine, and I always row a little, it's such fun . . . The German language is very easy to me, for except on Sundays, which I spend with the English clergyman of Düsseldorf, I never hear or speak English. It is most absurd now when I begin to speak English ; I cannot get to think in it, and keep translating German expressions which seem so much more natural to me to use. I must go to Düsseldorf to visit Fraulein Quincke, whose especially beloved pupil I was. One of her friends, Herr Niessen, an artist, was to paint a portrait of me for her ; but he was ill, and could not do it till the 42 MAEMORYA/S OF F. R. E. . last day, and so he only sketched one.” Not many weeks more till I see you—hurrah! (Pastor Schulze-Berge to M. V. G. H.) September 24, 1879. It is a joy to myself to give you some information about your beloved sister Frances' progress in those studies in which I had the privilege of being her instructor. I had the greatest esteem for her while she was in our house, which only deepened each time I saw her again or heard of her work. She was committed to my care for her studies in 1853, at Obercassel. I instructed her in German composition, literature, and history; I learned to appreciate her rich talents and mental powers, so that the lessons were more pleasure than work. She showed from the first such application, such rare talent, such depth of comprehension, that I can only speak of her progress as extraordinary. She acquired such a knowledge of our most celebrated authors in a short time as even German ladies attain only after much longer study. They were precious moments when I unfolded to her the character of one of our noblest poets and thinkers, and let her have a glimpse into the splendour of his works. Stirred to the depths of her soul, she burst out enthusiastically, “Oh, what mental giants, what gifted men, these Germans are l’” What imprinted the stamp of nobility upon her whole being, and influenced all her opinions, was her true piety, and the deep reverence she had for her Lord and Saviour, whose example penetrated her young life through and through. Seldom have I been more touched than by the * This fact about the artist’s sketch led to recent search for it. After many failures, Messrs. Elliott and Fry traced it by some artist friends. The portrait was first heard of at Cologne, then at Bonn, and finally found in Fraulein Quincke's possession there, and sent to London. V cowr/RMATIOw Rzcord, 43 news of her early “going home,” but she is with Him to whom her soul belonged, her Lord. With the united remembrance of Adelheid (her goddaughter) and all my family, Yours very sincerely, PASTOR SCHULZE-BERGE, In December 1853, Fanny returned with her parents to England. Passing over many months, we come to the solemn and long anticipated time of her confirmation in Worcester Cathedral, by Dr. Henry Pepys, bishop of Worcester. [FROM HER SEALED PAPERS.] . July 17, 1854. Now, on the evening of my confirmation day, I will look back upon it, and briefly endeavour to write some little record of it, for my own interest and profit in coming years. Satan has been busy with me all this day. I rose early ; he then tried to persuade me to put off, little by little, my reading of the Bible and prayer, and to some extent succeeded in making me do other minor things first, and in preoccupying my mind. At length I knelt. I looked back on all my past life, and tried to thank God for all; but the praise was not so fer- vent as it should have been, nor the prayer so earnest, for a blessing not only on this day but on my future life, and my soul was grieved at this coldness. But, ere I rose, my heart did seem a little warmer and Jesus a little nearer. tº In the procession to Worcester Cathedral Ellen Wakeman was my companion. On reaching our seat very near the rails, I sunk on my knees, and for the first time to-day the thought of “whose I am” burst upon me, and I prayed “my God, oh, my own Father, Thou blessed Jesus my own Saviour, Thou Holy Spirit my own Comforter,” and I stopped. It 44 MEMORYALS OF F. R. H. Scarcely seemed right for me to use the language of such strong assurance as this, but yet I did not retract. The Litany only was chanted; and, though my thoughts would fain have flown with each petition heavenward, yet every little thing seemed trebly a distraction, and the chanting was too often the subject of my thoughts. My heart beat very fast, and my breath almost seemed to stop, while the solemn question was being put by the bishop. Never I think did I feel my own weakness and utter helplessness so much. I hardly dared answer; but “the Lord is my strength” was graciously suggested to me, and then the words quickly came from (I trust) my very heart: “Lord, I cannot without Thee, but oh, with Thy Almighty help, I Do.” I believe that the solemnity of what had just been ut- tered, with its exceeding comprehensiveness, was realized by me as far as my mind could grasp it. I thought a good deal of the words, “Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling ;” and that was my chief comfort. We were the first to go up, and I was the fourth or fifth on whom the bishop laid his hands. At first, the thought came as to who was kneeling next to me, but then the next moment I felt alone, unconscious of my fellow can- didates, of the many eyes fixed upon us, and the many thoughts of and prayers for me, alone with God and His chief minister. My feelings when his hands were placed on my head (and there was solemnity and earnest- ness in the very touch and manner) I cannot describe, they were too confused ; but when the words “Defend, O Lord, this Thy child with Thy heavenly grace, that she may continue Thine for ever, and daily increase in Thy Holy Spirit more and more, until she come unto Thy everlasting kingdom,” were solemnly pronounced, if ever my heart followed a prayer it did then, if ever it thrilled with earnest longing not unmixed with joy, it did at the words “Thine for ever.” But, as if in no feeling I might or could rest satisfied, there was still a longing, “Oh that I desired this yet more earnestly, that I be- lieved it yet more fully.” We returned to our seats, and ~J wº ** 77AAWA FOR E VER." 45 for some time I wept, why I hardly know; it was not grief, nor anxiety, nor exactly joy. About an hour and a quarter elapsed before all the candidates had been up to the rails; part of the time being spent in meditation on the double transaction which was now sealed, and in thinking that I was now more than ever His ; but I still rather sadly wished that I could feel more. Many portions of Scripture passed through my mind, particularly part of Romans viii. . . Each time that the “Amen” was chanted in a more distant part of the cathedral, after the “Defend” had been pronounced, it seemed as though a choir of angels had come down to witness, and pour out from their pure spirits a deep and felt “Amen.” - The bishop pronounced the closing blessing so very impressively that it was like soothing balm to me, and the thought came, “Why should I doubt that my soul will indeed receive the blessing which God's minister is thus giving P why did God appoint him thus to bless if it were to be a mere idle form P May not His blessing accompany them, and . , , The paper was not finished, nor can any account of her first communion be found. In her manuscript book of poems she wrote: “THINE FOR EVER.” OH ! “Thine for ever,” what a blessed thing To be for ever His who died for me ! My Saviour, all my life Thy praise I'll sing, Nor cease my song throughout eternity. An the Cathedral, /uly 17, 1854. She always kept the anniversary of her confirmation day. When at Celbridge (1856), her juvenile instructor in Hebrew (John H. Shaw) remembers on one of these occasions missing her at their hour for study, and that she spent most of the day in holy retirement. So lately as 1876 and 1877, she seems to have renewed her confir- mation vow in the following verses:— 46 MEMORALS OF F. R. H. A Coven ANT. Now, Lord, I give myself to Thee, I would be wholly Thine; As Thou hast given Thyself to me, And Thou art wholly mine; Oh take me, seal me as Thine own, Thine altogether—Thine alone. -- July (1876.) ONLY for Jesus ! Lord, keep it for ever, Sealed on the heart and engraved on the life Pulse of all gladness, and nerve of endeavour, Secret of rest, and the strength of our strife July (1877.) We now return to her home life after her confirmation in 1854. She carefully kept up all her studies, her abstracts in German, French, and English showing the rapidity and variety of her reading. With her father's help she acquired sufficient knowledge of Greek to enjoy studying the New Testament. Her manuscript book contains twenty-five original German and English poems, beside poetical enigmas and charades, which she contributed to various pocket-books under the name of “Sabrina” and “Zoide,” and for which she often obtained prizes, the money thus gained being sent to the Church Missionary Society. OAKHAMPTON, May 14, 1855. Here I am in the height of enjoyment with my brother Frank. Little Miriam's absence is a drawback. My Evelyn is ill; but she is very gentle and patient, indeed I never saw a sick child so utterly without fretfulness. i. is lovely, a perfect Sunbeam, with golden wavy 3.11ſ. g How rife everything in spring seems with beautiful emblems I don't mean such as are already down in " wer.comre Howet" 4? sº *-*- ---º-º----------- poetry books, but those wildly, lovely, intangible similes which flit across the mind, like the shadows of a flying bird Our dear father had again been to Gräfrath in 1855, and returned with his eyesight much better. Frances writes: Is not this glorious P Such sudden improvement we hardly dared to hope for. We shall see papa in the reading desk on Sunday, where he has not been for nearly four years l Oh, we are so happy. Papa and mamma came home on Saturday. We welcomed them in style. I made a triumphal arch over the hall-door with flowers and greenery, over the study door papa's crest in flowers, and over the dining-room a banner with the words in rosebuds and leaves, “Welcome Home.” Oh it was so nice that dear papa was able to see it ; directly he came in he knelt down with us all, and offered such beautiful prayer, or rather praise ! C H A P T E R V. (1856–1860.) Ireland — F. R. H. and the Irish girls — Hebrew studies — Grateful memory of Bible class teachings—“Nearer heaven l’” — Chapters learnt — “Touching the hem” — Leaving St. Nicholas—The loving teacher—Last page in Sunday Scholar's Register—Welcome to Shareshill. N Irish school-girl pens the following recollections of meeting F. R. H. on her first visit to Celbridge Lodge, Ireland, May 1856: Five o'clock p.m. was the hour appointed for the elder girls from the school to arrive at the Lodge. Mrs. Shaw met us at the hall door with gentle words to each, and then brought us into the drawing-room, we being in a great state of delight at the thought of seeing “The little English lady.” In a few seconds Miss Frances, carol- ling like a bird, flashed into the room | Flashed 1 yes, I say the word advisedly, flashed in like a burst of sunshine, like a hillside breeze, and stood before us, her fair sunny curls falling round her shoulders, her bright eyes dancing, and her fresh sweet voice ringing through the room. I shall never forget that afternoon, never ! I sat perfectly spellbound as she sang chant and hymn with marvellous sweetness, and then played two or three pieces of Handel, which thrilled me through and through. She finished with singing her father's tune (Hobah) to “The Church of our fathers.” She shook hands with each, and said with a merry laugh: “The next time I come to Ireland I think we must get up a little singing class, and then you know you must all sing with me !” 48 VZSZ 7° 7'O IAEA2ZAAWD. 49 As we walked home down the shady avenue one and another said: “Oh, isn't she lovely? and doesn't she sing like a born angel !” “I love her, I do; and I’d follow her every step of the way back to England if I could.” “Oh, she's a real Colleen Bawn l’ Another of the class felt, all the time, that there must be the music of God's own love in that fair singer's heart, and that so there was joy in her face, joy in her words, joy in her ways. And the Secret cry went up from that young Irish heart: “Lord, teach me, even me, to know and love Thee too.” On her next visit to Ireland her singing class was formed. An invalid remembers at this time her “tender lovingkindness in lonely days of sorrow and suffering. It was Miss Frances who first taught me Greek, which was such an interest and help to me, and afterwards she gave me Hebrew lessons too. Truly can I say, ‘I thank my God on every remembrance of thee I’” Frances much enjoyed the study of Hebrew this summer with J. H. S. During a pleasant expedition through county Wicklow one of our party was a learned Hebrew scholar. It rather discomfited our good brother- in-law that Frances' attention seemed deeper in in- vestigating his knowledge of Hebrew psalms and gram- mar than in the surrounding geography of glens and passes. One other incident of her Irish visits was her attendance at a Bible class, conducted by the Rev. M. J. Bickerstaff (now vicar of Cookley). Side by side with the tiniest children Frances took her seat, and long after- wards referred to the pleasure and benefit of his instructions. • September 20, 1869. DEAR MR. BICKERSTAFF,- . . . I am So Sorry not to be well enough to D ge MEMORIA LS OF F. R. H. hear you preach this morning. Your sermons and Bible classes in 1865 were more real help to me than any I ever heard. I always look gratefully back to them as having done more to open my eyes to the “wondrous things” in God's word than any other human instrumentality. Yours affectionately and gratefully. The year 1858 had not much incident. She mentions her pleasure in listening to her father's Lent lectures on the Queen of Sheba, and tells her friend E : “the lectures are beautiful; you could not form an idea of their fulness and freshness without hearing them. These typical sermons are what papa specially excels in 1" She writes of —gleams and glimpses, but oh to be filled with joy and the Holy Ghost Oh, why cannot I trust him fully? How very sweet those words are, “I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for His name's sake.” They have comforted me, for I am but a little child, only a babe in the spiritual life, and this seems so tenderly addressed to such. But oh that I could grow up in Him | Sometimes I have felt almost happy in trying to realise what you write to me about, and at times I have gone on praying and pouring out all to Him, till time seemed forgotten, and I could scarcely rise and come back to earthly things. Once I had a strange thrill of joy at a passing, and may-be foolish, thought. You know how suffering I have been. Well, one evening, passing the looking-glass in the twilight, I caught sight of myself rather flushed, and I thought it looked like the hectic spot that foretells mortal disease. I know I am not in the remotest degree consumptive, but for an instant I thought it might be so. Oh the extraordinary thrill of delight the idea brought, that possibly I might be nearer heaven than I thought ! It was almost ecstatic gladness; and then a chill of . Nº. AOA/E LIFE. 51 disappointment came when my common sense told me it could not be so But in whatever way or time death comes to either of us, may our lamps be trimmed and burning. . . . From this time her letters tell of “The tremulous gleams of early days, The first faint thrills of love and praise, Vibrating fitfully.” She seems to have read and learned the Scriptures systematically with her friend E. C. In this I had joined them, and remember that in our country walks Frances repeated alternate verses with me. She knew the whole of the Gospels, Epistles, Revelation, the Psalms, and Isaiah, and the Minor Prophets she learned in later years. [ At this time she was taking the titles of Christ for her daily searchings and remarks, “Yesterday I took Christ our Advocate, it is one of the sweet titles. Alpha and Omega will be a very suitable one for Sunday. I like to think about the Lord Jesus as He is in Himself, not only in relation to myself.” T Incidental traces of holy walking as well as holy writ. ing come out naturally; e.g., “I said something yester. day, dear Elizabeth, which I much regret, though thought- lessly and not intentionally uttered. I thought, after, it seemed an imputation upon ; the faintest impression of which I would remove at oncefrom your mind. Perhaps you did not notice it; but I did, and grieved that I said it.” Her home life was beautiful, though often only One knew the self-restraint and the self-denial of actions, trivial in themselves, but springing from the desire to please God. I remember her refusing to go with me for a pleasant visit to Oakhampton, because she would not leave our dear mother alone, adding “if I can only go errands it will be of some use.” 52 A/EMORALS OF F. R. H. (To E. C.) August. As time passes on, dear Elizabeth, so does my hope strengthen that I really took a step onward when with you in the spring. It was then that (like the woman in the press) I was enabled to come and touch the hem of His garment. It was then that the truth made me free. I have lost that weary bondage of doubt, and almost despair, which chained me for so many years. I have the same sins and temptations as before, and I do not strive against them more than before, and it is often just as hard work. But, whereas I could not see why I should be saved, I now cannot see why I should not be saved if Christ died for all. On that word I take my stand and rest there. I still wait for the hour when I believe He will reveal Himself to me more directly ; but it is the quiet waiting of present trust, not the restless waiting of anxiety and danger. His death is really my confidence, and I have tasted the sweetness of one new thing, praise / In 1860 our father resigned the living of St. Nicholas, but not before the bishop had kindly promised that his successor should be his much esteemed curate and friend, the Rev. Charles Bullock. Many parting gifts from the parishioners flowed in, both for the Rector and his wife, whose organizing powers and activity had much endeared her to the parish. A most troublesome class of adult boys was quite a trophy of what loving words and gentle rule could effect, and their parting address and present to her came with more costly gifts. One of her class became a Scripture reader, another an ordained minister of our Church, and all brought forth good fruit in after years. Frances writes to E. C. : - What could be more conducive to spiritual improve- ** A GA VE MY LIFE FOR 7"HEE.” 53 Inent than what God has sent me lately, besides innu- merable mercies, extra gratifications in many ways; all these beautiful testimonials to my precious papa, and lovely ones to dear mamma, and my own undeserved share in them, and my success in writing (for I have just received a formal application from the Editor of Good Words for poetical contributions).” On the other hand, I have just enough bodily infirmity to keep me mindful and humble. Gold watches for dear Maria and myself came yesterday. The inscriptions are both the same inside the cases: “From the parishioners of St. Nicholas, Worcester, March 1860.” The teachers and children of the Sunday School have also sent us books, nicely chosen by Mr. Bullock. One special little token from my own children I shall ever treasure. Her Sunday School work was a loved employment. In the neatly kept register entitled “My Sunday Scholars, from 1846 to 1860,” each child's birthday, entrance date, occurrences in their home, general impressions of their character, and subsequent events in their life are all carefully noted. While absent for a few weeks, Frances writes to them, and says: “My dear children have kept up quite a correspondence with me, and print- ing all my answers is quite a work of time and patience, but one I do not grudge. Some of their letters are very sweet and encouraging, and all are at least affectionate and interesting. At one time I had desperately uphill * See “A Line Left Out,” in Appendix. Her well-known hymn, “I gave My life for thee,” first appeared in Good Words. It was written in Germany, 1858. She had come in weary, and sat down opposite a picture with this motto. At once the lines flashed upon her, and she wrote them in pencil on a scrap of paper. Reading them over, they did not satisfy her. She tossed them into the fire, but they fell out untouched 1 Showing them some months after to her father, he encouraged her to preserve them, and wrote the tune “Baca” specially for them. 54 MEMORAAES OF F. R. E. work, for mine was then the worst class in the school, and, out of fourteen, only a small minority were even hopeful. Sunday after Sunday I absolutely cry about them | Still, for some I thank God and take courage.” -- * MY SUNDAY SCHOLAR'S REGISTER,” [The last page.] I did not think when I ruled this page that it would be unfilled. Yet so it is, and the last of my dear second class fills its first space. He who appointeth the bounds of our habitation has, in manifest providence, removed our own after fifteen years' sojourn. And it will probably be some time ere I again have a regular class to care for, as other claims will fill my Sunday hours. Among all my St. Nicholas memories, none will be fonder or deeper than my class. I cannot tell any one how I loved them, I should hardly be believed; no one in the parish, either rich or poor, called forth the same love that they did. Neither could I tell how bitter and grievous any misbehaviour among them was to me, no one knows the tears they have cost me; and because no one guessed at the depth of either the love or the sorrow, I had but little sympathy under disappointments with them. I am wrong in one thing I know, but can- not help it; the feeling that, though I may have a very sincere love and interest in other children, yet I should never be able to give any future class the same intensity of affection which these have won and some of them have reciprocated. - It has been to my own soul a means of grace. Often, when cold and lifeless in prayer, my nightly intercession for them has unsealed the frozen fountain, and the bless- ings sought for them seemed to fall on myself. Often and often have my own words to them been as a message to myself of warning or peace. My only regret is that I did not spend more time in preparing my lessons for them, not more on their account than my ** SUWIDA Y SCHOLAR'S REGAS 7'EP." 55 own, for seldom have Bible truths seemed to reach and touch me more than when seeking to arrange and simplify them for my children. Therefore, I thank God that these children have been entrusted to me ! For some time past several of them have come to me, once a week, for separate reading and prayer. These times I have enjoyed very much. I rather dissuaded than otherwise, unless any real desire after salvation was manifested ; and I do think that this was so far effectual that nearly all of those who did come were, at least at the time, truly in earnest on the great question. I mark “ the regular, x the occasional comers. Nearly two years have already passed since they were “my children,” and I cannot say that my love and interest have yet diminished. I went to Oakhampton at Midsummer 1859, and on my return relinquished them with great secret regret for another class. I have one token of their love; given me, not by the then existing “2nd class,” but by those of both 1st and 2nd who were “my children.” This I treasure for their sakes, yet the remembrance of their love is more than its outward Sign. I trust it has been true bread which I have cast upon these waters; my Saviour knows, and He only, my earnest longings that these little ones should be His own. I think I am quite content now that others should see the fruit, so that it be but truly borne, that others should enter into my feeble and wanting labours. But, in dear papa's words, I do most fervently pray, “May all whose names are written here In the Lamb's Book of Life appear !” F. R. H., March 1860. Leaving St. Nicholas was to Frances a strange mixture of sorrow and thankfulness, “because I do care more for papa and his health than for anything else in all the whole world ! But it is not a trifle to leave the many, rich and poor, with whom one has necessarily become more 56 AMEA/OA’ WALS OF F. R. H. or less entwined in a way which none but a clergyman's family can. Yet I hope dear papa will find comparative rest and strength in consequence, by going to the little country parish of Shareshill. Papa is so very much to me, so much more than all besides | He has been very ill again, and this puts an end to all ideas of farewell sermons or visits. It is wonderfully thrilling to see him in illness, such utter peacefulness, such grand concep- tions of God's absolute sovereignty in everything, such quiet rejoicing in His will, be it what it may ; such shining trust in Him, in and for everything, personal or parochial.” The removal to Shareshill proved beneficial, and the welcome of the parishioners was pleasing and encourag- ing. Frances writes: “The first step, in the way of improvement at Shareshill, has been to abolish the Sunday post; to obtain this, the inhabitants were, as required, unanimous.” This subject was deeply felt by her, ever sympathising, as she did, with the men deprived of their Sunday rest: and she often grieved that some of her Christian friends did not take it up. Among the subjects upon which she intended writing, when called home in 1879, was “Sunday Postal Burdens.” And, in a letter the same year, she writes: “I do think we Church of England are more conscientious about Sunday post than some others. I was delighted when visiting ‘B. M.” to see with the notice of post times (in the hall) “no delivery or despatch on Sunday.” “No manner of work’ must include postal delivery, and it is not right to ignore it; it grieves me when some double- first-class Christians do not consider the subject.” CHAPTER VI. (1861–1869.) Oakhampton—A new power — Musical gifts — Deep borings — Subjects for prayer–Hiller's commendation — Remarkable power of harmonizing—Welcome to Winterdyne — Stormy petrelism — Sent empty away — Calmer waters — Joining Young Women's Christian Association — London — “Guess my birthday treat l”—Signor Randegger — Epitome of his first singing lesson—New home at Leamington—How poems came—My Evelyn !—“The Two Rings”—Weary and sad— First sight of Alpine mountains. N February 1861, by the wish of her sister and her I brother-in-law Henry Crane, Frances undertook the instruction of her two youngest nieces, and made Oak- hampton her second home. Her father approved of this plan, because he thought it would prevent her from pursuing the severe studies so prejudicial to her health. The lesson hours were very short, owing to the tempera- ment of both teacher and pupils, and she had many and long changes of scene, at the seaside, at home and abroad. She entered with zest into the recreations of her young companions, riding and scrambling, swimming and skat- ing, croquet and chess, each in its turn, and excelled in them all. Her needlework was exquisite, from the often despised darning to the most delicate lace work and embroidery. How she redeemed her time these few lines will prove: “Stirring you up, dearie, to mental im- provement is no new subject to me. I know, by my own 37 58 AZE MOR/A IS OF A. R. A. teaching days, how very much might be learnt in all the odds and ends of time, how (e.g.) I learnt all the Italian verbs while my nieces were washing their hands for dinner after our walk, because I could be ready in five minutes less time than they could.” The faithful old nurse well remembers “vexing over Miss Frances' hard studying, and that she found her at those Latin books long before breakfast.” Her one great object was the education of her nieces for eternity, not for time only; and not merely religious knowledge, but the realities of faith and holy living, were dwelt upon. - From the close of her Autobiography, darkness seems often to have clouded her path. From time to time she writes: I had hoped that a kind of table-land had been reached in my journey, where I might walk awhile in the light, without the weary succession of rock and hollow, crag and morass, stumbling and striving ; but I seem borne back into all the old difficulties of the way, with many sin-made aggravations. I think the great root of all my trouble and alienation is that I do not now make an un- reserved surrender of myself to God; and until this is done I shall know no peace. I am sure of it. I have so much to regret: a greater dread of the opinion of worldly friends, a loving of the world, and proportionate cooling in heavenly desire and love. A power utterly new and unexpected was given me [singing and composition of music], and rejoicing in this I forgot the Giver, and found such delight in this that other things paled before it. It need not have been so ; and, in better moments, I prayed that if it were indeed hindering me the gift of song might be withdrawn. And now that through my ill health it is so, and that the pleasure of public applause when singing in the Philharmonic concerts is not again 4-42 ! ---, **, *. DAE EA AORINGS, 59 to exercise its delicious delusion, I do thank Him who heard my prayer. But I often pray in the dark, as it were, and feel no response from above. Is this to test me P Oh that I may be preserved from giving up in despair, and yielding, as I so often do, to the floodtide enemy. I want to make the most of my life and to do the best with it, but here I feel my desires and motives need much purifying; for, even where all would sound fair enough in words, an element of self, of lurking pride, may be detected. Oh, that He would indeed purify me and make me white at any cost No one professing to be a Christian at all could possibly have had a more cloudy, fearing, doubting, sinning, and wandering heart history than mine has been through many years. The first part of this year (1865) I was very poorly, and on the old régime of having to give up everything, Sunday School and Saturday evening class, visiting, music, etc. It was very trying to me, specially so because I had rather built upon being stronger, and several points of interest had arisen which made me feel the more being shut off from all. But it was very good for me; I was able to feel thankful for it, and to be glad that God had taken me in hand as it were. I do not think I would have chosen otherwise than as He ordered it for me; but it seems as if my spiritual life would never go without weights, and I dread needing more discipline, Deep borings, even down into darksome depths, often precede the supply of unfailing springs of refreshing water. Thus my dear sister knew much of doubt and gloom, so that she might be able to comfort others and reveal to them God’s deep teachings in the darkness. Then, when she afterwards found such joy in the wells of salvation, she drew forth these teachings, refreshing other weary and thirsty ones with her words of sympathy both in poetry and prose. 6o MEMORIALS OF F. R. H. It may be useful to copy the paper kept in her Bible, showing how she arranged the subjects of her prayers. For daily Morning Prayer. Watchfulness. Guard over temper. Consistency. Faithfulness to opportunities. For the Holy Spirit. For a vivid love to Christ. - Mid-day Prayer. Earnestness of spirit in desire, in prayer, and in all work. Faith, hope, love. Evening Prayer. Forgiveness. To see my sinfulness in its true light Growth in grace. Against morning sleepiness as hind. rance to time for prayer. The initials of all her relatives and friends are dis. tributed to each day, and various items of intercession added, such as: That my life may be laid out to the best advantage as to God’s glory and others' good. For the Church Mis- sionary Society and Zenana work. For success and use- fulness with my subscribers. For the poor whom I visit. For the Irish Society. Guidance and (if it is God's will) success as to music. For my Sunday School class. For the servants. In the winter of 1865-6 Frances revisited her German friends, and also resided some time with her parents at Bonn. - Having composed many songs, she was anxious for some verdict on their merit. The following letter de- scribes her interview with Hiller, the German musician;– CLAPTON SQUARE, February 1, 1866. DEAR MIRIAM, - I must take up my history where I left off, and give AVTER VIEW WWTH AE/IECZEA. $1 you the Cologne story at last. To begin at the begin. ning, Elizabeth C. told the Schulzeberges of my composing, and so they were curious about it, and wanted me to go to the Musical Academy of Cologne. As I declared that out of the question, they hoped I would go to Ferdinand Hiller, whom they consider the greatest living composer and authority, and show him my songs. I shrunk from this because I expected nothing but utter quenching from such a man; still I thought that after all I might as well know the worst, and if he thought scorn of all I had done, that would decide me to waste no more time over it; while, if I got a favourable verdict, if ever opportunity should arise of prosecuting the study of composition, I should do so with a clearer conscience and better hopes. To my utter amazement, papa quite urged me to go, and a pleasant mirage of a possible musical term at Cologne Screwed my courage up to writing to Hiller, who replied kindly, and made an appointment with me. I went with mamma, such a queer way among the Rhine wharfs, and through narrow streets scarcely wide enough for the droschky to pass, till we emerged in a more open part, and found Hiller's abode. He is a small elderly man, quiet in manner, , of handsome and peculiar Jewish physiognomy (he is a Jew), with a forehead remarkably like papa's, and terribly clever looking eyes; I think one would single him out as a genius among any number. He was in a double room full of musical litter, with a handsome grand piano in the middle. He received us very politely, and asked me a few questions (he is a man of few words), and then took my book of songs and sat down to read it through, giving me a volume of poetry to amuse myself with mean- while. You may imagine I didn't read much He made no remark till he was about three quarters through, when he turned and said: “What instruction have you had P” I told him of Hatherley's having corrected my first six songs, and that I had a musical father, to whom I occa- sionally referred difficult points, and with whom I had musical talk in general, “I do not care anything about 62 MEMORALS OF F. R. F. that,” said he ; “I mean what regular musical course have you gone through, and under what professor?” I told him I had done nothing of the sort. He looked very hard at me, as if to see if I was telling the truth, and then turned back to my music, saying, “In that case I find this very remarkable !” When he had finished he delivered his verdict, the worst part first. He said my melodies bore the stamp of talent, not of genius. “In the early works of great composers,” he said, “one comes across things that startle and strike you; ideas so utterly fresh and novel that you feel there is great creative * * power. I do not find this in your melodies; they are not bad; on the contrary I find them very pleasing and many really very good, but they are thoroughly English in character and type; I do not consider that English melodies rank highest. But, as for your harmonies, I must say I am astonished. It is something singular to find such grasp of the subject, such power of harmoniza- tion, except where there has been long and thorough study and instruction; here I can give almost unlimited praise.” I told him my question was (for I thought I would take a high standard at once) not, had I talent enough to make music a mere pleasure to myself and my friends? but had I enough to make it worth while to devote myself to music as a serious thing, as a life work? Was there promise enough to make it an advisable in- vestment of my life, in case I wished to do so P. He said: “Sincerely and unhesitatingly I can say that you have.” I remarked how much I should like to study at Cologne, and under himself. He said he should like to have the training of me; but, if distance were a difficulty, there were reliable men in London, and he would re- commend his friend Macfarren. But I was to go to no second-rate man, that would be simply no use to me; I could only gain the polish and “form” which my work wanted, from some one really first-rate. He recom- mended me a book on harmony (which I procured in Cologne), and then wrote a few lines to papa, saying he had found a good deal of musical talent in my composi- T_r AZZ}_A.R.S COMMEMDA 7TWOAV. 63 tions, and that “but a short time would be sufficient to place me in a state to give a good form to the musical ideas with which I was gifted.” I did not expect all this ; and though I shall not do anything at present, it is pleasant to know I have a talent, which I may some day develop to some purpose, for I never quite believed what Dr. Marshall said about it, and I thought if I had the talent he said I had, I should feel cleverer, somehow, than I do. Papa is vexed because when Hiller asked “Spielen sie gut?” (do you play well?) I replied simply “No, not well,” because I thought he would judge by a professional standard, Papa says I ought to have then offered to play one of my things, but I had not the pluck or the presence of mind. . . . I supposed you would like to hear all about Hiller, else it seems con- ceited to have written so much. Now for the home journey to Lille and a pleasant visit to Mons. and Madame V 's. Their country house is about a mile out of the town. . . . It was pleasant to meet old friends, and it is quite fascinating to get, also, a spice of fresh characters and life. Next morn- ing Mons. V. took me about the lower rooms, and gave me an amusing description of Lille life. He is a sort of chieftain of the clan, which consists of about 270 nephews and nieces, and their children. He keeps them all in order. “On a grand peur demon oncle Emile,” says he; “if I see what I do not like I lecture them de manière qu'on s'en souviendra.” But, on the other hand, “mon oncle Emile” is rich, and can be very gracious, and is worth keeping on good terms with. Every Sunday there are thirty-eight who “ have the right” to dine with him, and every Wednesday evening he receives a wider circle in a large galerie, glass above and all around, like an immense enclosed verandah, so pretty with creepers and fancy plants all about. It overlooks his orangery and greenhouses, ornamental water with two bridges, pretty trees, a most charming view alto- gether. e tº Such a good crossing from Calais; the sea quite glassy 64 • AMAZMORALS OF F. R. H. I leaned over the side and watched the foam and curl of the water behind the paddles, and wrote verses [“Travelling Thoughts”] in my account book. I was ° able to see the white cliffs of Dover for the first time, and was almost sorry to leave the boat. º * Your loving sister. It may not be out of place here to mention that such was the strength of her musical memory, that she would play through Handel, much of Beethoven and Mendelssohn, without any notes. A pupil of Beethoven thought her rendering of the Moonlight Sonata perfect; her touch was instinct with soul, as also was her singing. During her stay at Oakhampton her brother-in-law engaged Dr. Wm. Marshall to give her singing lessons; and she attended the meetings of the Philharmonic Society at Kidderminster, of which he was the conductor. The practice of sacred music was an extreme gratification to her, and she soon became a valued solo singer. Her rendering of Mendelssohn’s “Woe unto them,” “But the Lord is mindful of His own,” are remembered as s peculiarly effective, though it was in Handel's music that she more particularly delighted. - The ease with which Frances constantly versified family events is shown in the following lines, written when Mr. and Mrs. Shaw left Ireland, for their English home at Winterdyne:- - WELCOME TO WINTERDYNE, (For ZXecember 14th 1866.) FRANCIE and Willie, welcome to you ! Alfred and Alice, welcome too ! To an English home and English love Welcome each little Irish dove : Never again we hope to be Kept apart by an angry Sea. WEzco ME TO WINTERD YAVE. - 65 * *=== A thousand welcomes, O darlings mine, When we see you at Winterdyne. Welcome all to a warm new nest, Just the place for our doves to rest, Through the oaks and beeches looking down On the winding valley and quaint old town, Where ivy green on the red rock grows, And silvery Severn swiftly flows, With an extra sparkle and glitter and shine Under the woods of Winterdyne. Qn a quiet evening in lovely spring, In the tall old elms the nightingales sing; Under the forest in twilight grey I have heard them more than a mile away, Sweeter and louder and far more clear Than any thrush you ever did hear; Perhaps when the evenings grow long and fine They will sing to you in Winterdyne. Little to sadden, and nothing to fear; Priest, and Fenian, never come here; Only the sound of the Protestant bells Up from the valley pleasantly swells, And a beautiful arch, to church, is made Under the sycamore avenue's shade; You pass where its arching boughs entwine, Out of the gates of Winterdyne. Welcome to merry old England 1 And yet We know that old Ireland you will not forget; Many a thought and prayer will fly Over the mountains of Wales, so high, Over the forest and over the sea, To the home which no longer yours must be, But farewells are over, O darlings mine, Now it is Welcome to Winterdyne ! Her own words will continue the record of her inner 3c. life in the year 1866. Few things have a more salutary eſſect upon me than E - 66 A/EMORAAAZS OF F. A. Fy. reading secular biographies. For, successful or unsuc- cessful alike, “vanity of vanities” seems the truest characteristic of every life not devoted to the very highest aim. “Queens of Society,” “Autobiography of Louis Spohr,” and others, have left this feeling strongly upon me, and have been auxiliary in making me wish that my life may be laid out for Him, whose it is by right. Oh, that He may make me a vessel sanctified and meet for the Master's use ! I look at trial and training of every kind in this light, not its effect upon oneself for oneself, but in its gradual fitting of me to do the Master's work. So, in very painful spiritual darkness or conflict, it has already comforted me to think that God might be leading me through strange dark ways, so that I might afterward be His messenger to some of His children in similar distress. My ill health this summer has been very trying to me. I am held back from much I wanted to do in every way, and have had to lay poetizing aside. And yet such open doors seemed set before me. Perhaps this check is sent that I may consecrate what I do more entirely. I have a curious vivid sense, not merely of my verse faculty in general being given me, but also of every separate poem or hymn, nay every line, being given. It is peculiarly pleasant thus to take it as a direct gift, not a matter of effort, but purely involuntarily. . . . I suppose that God’s crosses are often made of most unexpected and strange material. Perhaps trials must be felt keenly, or it would not be powerful enough as a medicine in the hands of our beloved Healer; and I think it has been a medicine to me latterly. You may wonder that I write thus, when I was so merry with you at L–; but, among the best gifts of God to me, I count a certain stormy petrelism of nature, which seems to enable me to skim any waves when I am not actually under them. I have an elasticity which often makes me wonder at myself, a power of throwing myself into any present interest or enjoyment, though the Borrow is only suspended not removed. But once I seemed permitted to suffer mentally in an STORMY PAE TRAE Z/SM. 67 unmitigated sort of way, which I never knew before, Perhaps to teach me how to feel for others who have not that stormy petrelism which bears me through most things. For that forsook me utterly, and I felt crushed and forsaken of all or any help or cheer, to an extent I never felt before, I wish I rejoiced more, not only on my own account, but if I may so say, on His, for surely I should praise Him more by both lip and life. Mine has been such a shady Christian life, yet “He led them forth by the right way” must somehow be true here, though I don't see ; , , , , how. I ought to make one exception; I have learned a real sympathy with others walking in darkness, and some- times it has seemed to help me to help them. I send you this text, Matthew xxv. 40, and I want you to let it brighten all your work; but one can never come to the end of the graciousness of it. Some months ago, I called on one of my dear old women in Worcester. She talked of the King; and, coming away, I felt impelled to give her something which I had not intended for her, and knew I could not afford without a trifling self-denial. She took it silently, paused, and then said, with a simple sweet solemnity, “Inasmuch l’’ Well, ever since I have revelled in that wonderful “Inas- much.” Only think of His really considering all our poor little services as done unto Him 1 And this is quite apart from what we consider success or results. It is not only spiritual ministrations, but all other little kind- nesses. How one would have liked to have been one of the women who ministered unto Him, but it is so marvellously gracious of Him to give you and me, to wit, opportunities of doing what He considers the same thing. . . . . You may think it strange, but I have long almost shrunk from going to the sacrament, dreading the being sent empty away. Oh, if He would but grant me my request just once—that I might “taste and see I’ Communion Sundays are so often my saddest days; great tension of feeling, longing, unsatisfied desire, and sorrowful pleading, followed by the reaction of miserable 68 MEMORIALs or P. R. H. apathy. . It is only one or two who know about my clouds, though many know what I believe about sunshine. . . . . Sunday is over. “Sent empty away.” Just empty, no other word seems to express it; not full of anything. I would rather even have been full of distress than thus empty. Not one sweet verse or comforting thought seemed given me. All the beautiful service seemed to pass through the ear and never reach my heart. Oh, if He would only show me “wherefore He contendeth with me.” It has brought me to the terrible old feeling, “how can I be one of His sheep if I never hear the Shepherd's voice, if He never meets me where {He meets others P” Her nieces Evelyn and Constance went to school in 1866-7 ; and, in consequence, Frances then left Oak. hampton, and always afterwards resided at home. (From F. R. H.’s manuscript papers, May 1867.) It seems as if the Lord had led me into a calmer and more equable frame of mind; not joy, but peace. And texts light up to me very pleasantly sometimes. Why should I not take for granted all I find in the Bible? why should I hesitate and tremble over it, as I have been doing for years? I have been appropriating all the promises with a calm sort of twilight happiness, waiting for a clearer light to show me their full beauty and value. It does seem to me that “free grace” does not mean there is nothing on our side. We may phrase it “coming,” “accepting,” “believing,” “touching the hem ;” but there is something which these words repre- sent, which is necessary to salvation; and then comes the question, have / this condition ? Yet as soon as Z in any form comes in, there is shadow upon the light. Still, this shadow need not fall when the eye is fixed upon Christ as the Substitute, the Lamb slain; then all is clear. But it is in reading, when one's heart leaps at some precious promise made to the children of God, | IAA yovyc houſews carrszaw Associa Trow 69 that a cold check comes, “Am I one of them P what is my title?” Answer, “Ye are all the children of God by faith in Jesus Christ.” Have I faith? Once introduce that I, and you get bewildered between faith and feeling. When I go on and grapple with the difficulty, it comes to this. As far as I know, I have come to Jesus, not once but many times. I have knelt, and literally prostrated myself before Him, and told him all, that I have no other hope but what His written word says He did and said, that I know it is true, that the salvation it tells of is just what I want and all I want, and that my neart goes out to it, and that I do accept it; that I do not fully grasp it, but I cling to it; that I want to be His only and entirely, now and for ever. (The last entry.) I have been so happy lately, and the words “Thou hast put gladness in my heart” I can use, as true of my own case; especially as to one point, I am sure now (and I never was before) that I do love God. I love Him distinctly, positively; and I think I have loved Him more and longer than I thought, only I dared not own it to myself. Oh that I loved Him more and more How I abhor myself for having loved, for loving, so little. In the autumn of 1867 she enjoyed a visit to the lakes with her former schoolfellow, J. H. E., and J. T., a charming poetess. Frances writes: “I had every possible variety of effects, from grey lake mists and rain to silver and gold, and rosy transparent purple and soft dreamy hazes, and marvellous clearness and veilings and unveilings, and everything that is lovely except snow.” (F. R. H. to Miss Clara Gedge, September 1867.) I thank you very specially for having asked me to join the Young Women's Christian Association, On my side it will be an extra strong link; because, 7o MEMORAAES OF F. R. H. whatever help and blessing for myself and others I may find through it, I shall not forget that I owe my membership to you. I have written the date of my joining in the cover of my Bible, as a continual reminder (if any could be needed) of such a privilege; and under it the names of all whom I know to be members, yours of course standing first. How little we know each other's need . How often the text we want to send must be a bow drawn at a venture Yet again, how alike are our needs, and how pleasant to know that we may ask Him, to whom each heart is open, to guide us to choose the right gem from the precious mine of His word I do not feel inclined to send you anything out of the way to-day, dear Clara, but just one of the dear old rock-texts, which are always something to stand upon, and this one especially so for your birthday: “He hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.” For this embraces all our years; if true at all, it has been so all along, even when we felt far off. He was near when we felt alone; He was surely, though hidden, beside us. . The date on the Y. W. C. A. card of membership is September 23, 1867; No. 2181. This Association proved a lifelong rivet; and manifold were her efforts to link others in its helpful fellowship. It is impossible to give even an idea of her efforts for many societies. Just at this time, she was wishful to give lessons in singing, for the Church Missionary Society; and her steady work in collecting for it never ceased. The Jews', the Church Pastoral-Aid, and the Bible Society were alike valued. Skilfully did she induce others to take an interest in them; and in the February of her last winter (1879), one bitter night, she headed a number of Welsh neighbours and lads to go, forthefirst time in their lives, to a Bible Society meeting at the Mumbles. We again give some extracts from her letters. A.OAVICOA/ 71 PEMBRIDGE CRESCENT, November 1867. o Among other pleasures in London, I have made acquaintance with the authoress of “Doing and Suffering.” She gave me a good deal of practical advice about my schemes for milliners’ classes. I want very much to give singing lessons for the Church Missionary Society, and German lessons for the Irish Society; this would be clear gain, and also give me opportunities for influence among the class which interest me so much. . . . I must tell you about the east window in Mr. Bickersteth's church at Hampstead. Nothing in the window line ever made such an impression upon me. It is all filled in with simple arabesque and diaper work, merely quiet harmonious colour, nothing to arrest the eye, except the centre light, and in that is a white scroll on a blue ground, with just the words in crimson and gold letters, “Till He come.” It sent quite a thrill through me. It is so exactly what one would like to look up to from the holy table. . . . I must send you “In whom we have the forgiveness of sins,” because I have just had a glimpse of the beauty and power of it, and I like best to send you what has been given me. Of course I lost it again; but, in praying for forgiveness, and sorrowfully enough, as usual, I remembered your quotation from Adelaide Newton, and then this flashed upon me, “in whom—zwe have,” and was so satisfactory. Perhaps you don't feel the utter need of it that I do, but still I know it is precious truth for every one. GoDSTONE, December 1867. Guess my birthday treat? To the Zoological Gardens. I don't know anything I would rather see in London. I am a perfect baby as to animals | I managed to get three more singing lessons, though I was never in voice, and had a bad cold. Signor Randegger says I have many mechanical difficulties to overcome, but gives me credit for “talent, taste, feeling, and brains.” I might improve if under him for a year, and he consoled me by saying 72 MEMORIA LS OF F. R. F. “I might always calculate on expressive singing.” His first lesson was a lecture on the formation of the throat and production of sound, which he told me to write out as an abstract. I was very poorly in bed the next day; so, having nothing to do, it occurred to me to rhyme it. Afterwards I was afraid lest he might be touchy and think I was making game of it. However it was quite the other way, and he asked for a copy to show his pupils. MY SINGING LESSON. (Abstract.) HERE beginneth, Chapter the first of a series, To be followed by manifold notes and queries; So novel the queries, so trying the notes, I think I must have the queerest of throats, And most notable dulness, or else long ago The Signor had given up teaching, I trow. I wonder if ever before he has taught A pupil who can't do a thing as she ought ! The voice has machinery (now to be serious), Invisible, delicate, strange, and mysterious, A wonderful organ-pipe firstly we trace, Which is small in a tenor and wide in a bass : Below an AEolian harp is provided, Through whose fairy-like fibres the air will be guided. Above is an orifice, larger or small, As the singer desires to rise or to fall; Expand and depress it, to deepen your roar, But raise and contract it, when high you would soar. Alas for the player, the pipes, and the keys, If the bellows give out an inadequate breeze 1 So this is the method of getting up steam, The one motive power for song or for scream. Slowly and deeply, and just like a sigh, Fill the whole chest with a mighty supply; Through the mouth only, and not through the nose; And the lungs must condense it ere farther it goes. (How to condense it I really don't know, And very much hope the next lesson will show.) THE AWA W HOME. 73 Then, forced from each side, through the larynx it comes, And reaches the region of molars and gums, And half of the sound will be ruined or lost If by any impediment here it is crossed. On the soft of the palate beware lest it strike, The effect would be such as your ear would not like. And arch not the tongue, or the terrified note Will straightway be driven back into the throat. Look well to your trigger, nor hasten to pull it, Once hear the report, and you’ve done with your bullet. In the feminine voice there are registers three, Which upper, and middle, and lower must be; And each has a sounding-board all of its own, The chest, lips, and head, to reverberate tone. But in cavities nasal it never must ring, Or no one is likely to wish you to sing. And if on this subject you waver in doubt, By listening and feeling the truth will come out. The lips, by-the-bye, will have plenty to do In forming the vowels Italian and true; Eschewing the English, uncertain and hideous, With an o and a u that are simply amphibious. In flexible freedom let both work together, And the under one must not be stiffened like leather. Here endeth the substance of what I remember, Indited this twenty-sixth day of November. The following extracts will illustrate my dear sister's life at this time:– PyRMONT WILLA, LEAMINGTON, December 27, 1867. dº º is My first note in my new room in our new home must be to you. It is solemn to think of what I may go through in this room : probably many happy hours, certainly many sorrowful ones. In all human probability it will be my room until the great sorrow falls which has already often seemed imminent, unless I die before my precious father. I have just been praying 74 AME}#OA' NAAS OF F. A. A. words from my own mamma's lips, when I was a little girl, “Prepare me for all that Thou art preparing for me.” Yet, in spite of these thoughts, I have not been at all in a good frame of mind; oh, how often hidden evil is brought to light by some unexpected Ithuriel touch. Every one calls me sweet tempered; but oh, I have been so ruffled two or three times, that I wonder and grieve at myself. I always suffer for being naughty ; I lose all enjoyment in prayer directly. “Oh, for a heart that never sins !” January 18th, 1868, after describing her room : Can you fancy me there? The only drawback is that, being at the top of the house, it will not be available for classes. I do wish all good carpets and furniture were at the bottom of the sea They are among the devices to hinder usefulness. I have done nothing about a class yet, and do hope I shall not be wilful in choosing for myself! . . . I never saw such a place as Leamington, every hole and corner seems dusted out ! Such a number of earnest loving workers; some are wonderful, I am not worthy to sit at their feet. (To E. C.) LEAMINGTON, February 22, 1868. “Grace unto you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.” I send for your birthday the result of a year's daily and loving thought for you [a Bible marked]. It is the worse for wear, having been with me in boxes, bags, and pockets. I have marked what struck me as containing food, light, and teaching of some sort. I do hope you will find my markings a help and pleasure, because not one chapter has been read without prayer for the Holy Spirit's teaching. . . . Can you not take Psalm xxiii. 6, as a birthday text? only, the goodness and mercy are following all the days, * even when their bright outline is lost in the shadow of My EVELYN 75 closely pressing trials, and sometimes in our own shadow. e I am getting on with my book, and might finish it in a week or two by putting on steam ; but I am reso- lutely not hurrying it. . . . February 1868. . . . I have not had a single poem come to me for some time, till last night, when one shot into my mind. All my best have come in that way, Minerva fashion, full grown. It is so curious, one minute I have not an idea of writing anything, the next I have a poem ; it is mine, I see it all, except laying out rhymes and metre, which is then easy work I rarely write anything which has not come thus. “Hidden Leaves” is the title; I wonder how you would work it out after this beginning: “Oh, the hidden leaves of life, Closely folded in the breast !” The illness and death of her niece, Evelyn Emily Crane, was deeply felt. We may not give full details; but it was her Aunt Frances who had led her to Christ some three years before, and her dying message con- firmed the reality of her joyful trust in the Lord Jesus, April 14, 1868. DEAREST MARIA, That is indeed a precious message. The tension of this last week has been terrible. I think it so excessively kind of you to tell me all you do. I hunger for it; you will understand how. My Evelyn's ring!” This is kind! I shall always wear it. Once she wanted to wear mine. I have had most beautiful and comforting notes from J. H. E. and many others. The Hebrew word J. H. S. sent me pleased me much. I have had such sympathy from my new friends here. Oh, Marie dear, it is answer * See “The Two Rings,” in “Under the Surface,” page 221. 76 MEMORYALS OF F. R. H. assºsºmºsº to prayer indeed, Don't think me selfish in letting out a little to you, or that I do not intensely feel for them because I feel so much myself. I wrote some verses Saturday evening (which I intended no one to see), “Dying? Evelyn, darling ! Dying? can it be P”* but will send them you; and, if you think they would be more pleasure than pain, show them poor The memorial card made me realize it at last. Last night I sat long with it before me, with such an utter flood of love for that child in my heart. It rose and rose, and the sorrow and sense of loss with it, and how I last saw her in all her graceful beauty. Then, at last, came a sudden glimpse, almost a vision, of seeing her again and having such a full and loving welcome from her above | . . . Your loving sister. LEAMINGTON, May 1868. . . . I am not ill, but overdone and tired. A nice letter even to you is an impossibility. This has been trial, but as yet I see no “nevertheless afterwards.” I have been falling back on “O Lord, Thou knowest.” ſº I only send you two words; but they are, and will be seen to be, the true “theme” or “subject,” speaking musically, carried through all the majors and minors of life ; “MARVELLOUS Lov1NGKINDNESS.” . . . (Tb E. C.) | LEAMINGTON, February. Another birthday! so I send you another note of birth- day love; “Surely my judgment is with the Lord, and my work with my God.” That word “work” seems to include and imply “reward of work,” so the whole thing is with your God; it is as if you carry home your daily portion of work to Him, and He lays it up safe with what preceded it; and some day He will bring it out all in —w- * See “Under His Shadow,” page 167. º: SAVO W MOUAVTA/AWS. 77 one beautiful completed piece, with many finishings and beautifyings beyond what your hand wrought; and His “Well done !” will be your reward, whether it be delayed till he adds “Enter thou” or not. At last I have had my longed for “pause in life,” but as yet I am not well enough to enjoy it. Maria will tell you how wretchedly ill I have been. May 8th. I only heard of your accident last night. My dear old text flashed upon me the instant I heard of it, “Meet, for the Master's use;” surely it is for that He has taken His vessel away from active use, that it may be made more meet. I feel so disposed to look out for much marked blessing upon you and your work when He permits you to resume it. Let me give you another, “He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry.” That has comforted me often, more than any promise of answer; it includes answers and a great deal more besides; it tells us what He is towards us, and that is more than what He will do. And the “cry” is not long, connected, thoughtful prayers; a cry is just an unworded dart upwards of the heart, and at that “voice” He will be very gracious. What a smile there is in these words I º In May 1869 our brother-in-law, Mr. Crane, took Frances, with his wife and eldest daughter Miriam, to Switzerland, by the Rhine route to Heidelberg, Freiburg, Basle, and Schaffhausen. Her neatly kept journal has photographs of the several places visited, and the Alpine flowers she dried for its pages. THE RHINE FALLs, June 9th. It was fascinating to look down at the wild rapids, sheets of glass-like transparency, flowing Swiftly over rock tables, then a sudden precipice below water, which might go down to any depth, only that you are not looking down into darkness, but into emerald and snow 78 MEMORIAA.S. O.F. A. R. H. mingled and transfused marvellously. The rocks be: neath are not a smooth ledge; thus the water is thrown out into a chaos of magnificent curves and leaps, infinitely more beautiful than any single chute could be. You look up, and see masses of bright water hurled ever- lastingly irresistibly down, down, down with a sort of exuberance of the joy of utter strength; you look across, and see shattered diamonds by millions leaping and glittering in the sunshine; you look down, and it is a tremendous wrestling and overcoming of flood upon flood, all the more weirdly grand that it is half hidden in the clouds of spray. Every drop is so full of light that the eye is soon dazzled and weary: oh if one were only all spirit ! The next day it was great luxury to sit on the terrace overlooking the falls. I jotted some verses (“He hath spoken in the darkness”),” which have been Haunting me for two or three days. The text was sent me lately, “What I tell you in darkness that speak ye in light.” I never noticed it before; how strange it is what treasures we miss every time we read His word BERNE, June 12th. At last ! Miriam crept quietly to the window about 5 a.m., and I woke as she passed. “Anything to see?” “Oh yes, I really do believe I see them 1" Of course I was up in a second. The sun had risen above the thick mist, and away in the south-east were the weird giant outlines of the Bernese Oberland mountains bending towards the sun, as if they had been our mighty guardian spirits all night, and were resigning their charge ere they flew away into farther light. The very mist was a folding of wings about their feet, and a veiling of what might be angel brows, quiet and Serene. It is no use laughing at “fancies;” wait till you have seen what we did from the roof of the Berner Hof So now the dream of all my life is realised, and I * See “Under the Surface,” page 161. º SAVO W MOUNTAIAWS. 79 have seen snow mountains ! When I was quite a little child of eight years old I used to reverie about them, and when I heard the name of the snow-covered Sierra de la Summa Paz (perfect peace) the idea was completed; and I thenceforth always thought of eternal snow and perfect peace together, and longed to see the one and drink in the other. And I am not disappointed. They are just as pure, and bright, and peace-suggestive as ever I dreamt them. It may be rather in the style of the old women who invariably say, “It’s just like heaven,” when they get a tolerably comfortable tea-meeting; but really I never saw anything material and earthly which so suggested the ethereal and heavenly, which so seemed to lead up to the unseen, to be the very steps of the Throne; and one could better fancy them to be the visible founda- tions of the invisible celestial city, bearing some wonder- ful relation to its transparent gold and Crystal sea, than only snow and granite, rising out of this same every-day earth we are treading, dusty and stony | . . . In the autumn of this year Frances went to Scotland, and extremely enjoyed the Highland scenery; at the same time visiting various friends. CH A P T E R W II. (1870-1871.) A father's holy teaching—Peaceful death—“Yet speaketh”— “Songs of Grace and Glory”—How harmony was learnt— Letter on tunes in “Havergal's Psalmody”—The “hush of praise” — Sympathy — The great transition — The most enjoyable trip to Switzerland — A real Alpine dawn—The Vaudois chaplain—Vivas on the Col de la Seigne—Christ- mas Day—Waiting, not working. ANY pictures could be drawn of Frances' home life at Leamington. Especially did she value the sympathy of her dear father in all her studies. With him she delighted to talk out hard questions; and his classical knowledge, his poetic and musical skill, settled many a point. She would rush down with her new poems or thoughts, awaiting his criticisms. And very charming was it to hear her lively coaxing that he would “just sing,” as she accompanied his sacred songs; while at other times I have seen her absorbed with his improvised melodies, fugues and intricate progressions, thrilling yet passing. His holy and consistent example, ever holding forth the word of life and sound doctrine, had been as a guiding light on his child's path; of this Frances writes in “Yet Speaketh.” “Deep teachings from the Word he held so dear, Things new and old in that great treasure found, 80 A FATHER”S HOLY Z'EACHAVG. 81 A valiant cry, a witness strong and clear, A trumpet with no dull uncertain sound; These shall not die, but live; his rich bequest To that beloved Church whose servant is at rest.” Another daughter describes him very truthfully; and her lines are also given. A Tribute to my Father, on his Birthday, 1866. WHILE we reckon up thy years, Balancing our hopes and fears, Praise we our Redeemer's grace Shining on thy pilgrim race. He hath given thee work to do, And the task to suffer too. He hath given thee art to twine Music-chords with song sublime, Holy chant and choral hymn, Praise-notes fit for seraphim ; Tuneful voice and ready pen Charm and teach the souls of men; And thy God hath given thee skill, Guiding youth to do His will; And, as pastor in His fold, Christ's salvation to uphold. Now a time for rest is thine In the land of Beulah's shine, Where the angels come and go, Bringing help and hope, and low Sweet echoes of the heavenly chime, Cheering on the flight of time. Oh may health and peace be given, Till the ties of earth be riven, And this birthday happy be With the light of heaven on Thee! J. MIRIAM CRANE. The shadow of death fell swiftly and stealthily on our dear father's path. The care of his devoted wife had, By §2 MEMORALS OF F. R. H. doubtless, warded off many an attack of serious illness. On Easter Even, 1870, he was unusually well and had walked out during the day. Later on he sat down to his harmonium, playing and singing the tune composed by him in the morning.” He rose early, as usual, on Easter Day; but apoplexy ensued; and, after forty-eight hours of unconsciousness, he passed away. “Yet speaketh !” there was no last word of love, So suddenly on us the sorrow fell; His bright translation to the home above Was clouded with no shade of farewell; His last Lent evening closed with praise and prayer, And then began the songs of endless Easter there. In Astley churchyard, under the fir tree (the place which he had chosen years before), he rests “till that day.” The epitaph on the white marble tomb is as follows: The Rev. WILLIAM HENRY HAVERGAL, M.A., Vicar of Shareshill and Hon. Canon of Worcester Cathedral. Died at Leamington, 19th April 1870, aged 77. Curate 7, and Rector 13 years, of this parish, 1822 to 1843. “A faithful minister in the Lord” (Eph. vi. 21). Memorial tablets were also placed in Worcester Cathedral, St. Nicholas and Shareshill Churches. Some weeks after, Frances wrote to Elizabeth Clay: I was terribly upset last night, and yet not all sadness; one of papa's chants was gloriously sung at the West- minster Abbey evening service; such a scene and such music . . . “I know their sorrows” (Exod. iii. 7) is full of intensest comfort when it is needed; it is the climax in it which has so much struck me as correspond- ing to three degrees of sorrow which I suppose all know; anyhow, you do and I do. That sorrow which can be seen is the lightest form really, however apparently heavy; * * No. 163 in “Havergal's Psalmody.” * ALA PERGAZ’S PSAEMODY.” 83 then there is that which is not seen, secret sorrows which yet can be put into words, and can be told to near friends as well as be poured out to God; but there are sorrows beyond these, such as are never told, and cannot be put into words, and may only be wordlessly laid before God: these are the deepest. Now comes the supply for each : “I have seen” that which is patent and external; “I have heard their cry,” which is the expression of this, and of as much of the external as is expressible ; but this would not go deep enough, so God adds, “I know their sorrows,” down to very depths of all, those which no eye sees or ear ever heard. Is it not a beautiful climax P It was soon after her father's death that my sister undertook the preparation for the press of “Havergal's Psalmody,” which afterwards was largely used in connec- tion with the Rev. C. B. Snepp's Hymnal, “Songs of Grace and Glory.” The preparation for the work of harmonising she alludes to in a letter to her friend Mary C. in 1866. How I should like to teach you harmony I do believe I could make it lucid ; you can’t think what exquisite symmetry there is in chords and intervals, so that I always feel, as well as believe, that man by no means invented harmony, but only found out God's beautiful arrangements in it. As for my own composi- tions, I am (at some cost of resolution) abstaining en- tirely. Hiller, of Cologne, recommended me an excellent book, which I got, and determined to write no more till I had gone through it; this I am steadily doing, and enjoy writing the exercises. I suppose, after Hiller's pro- fessional opinion, it would be affectation to say I had no talent, and I certainly do feel I have at least a sort of inherited instinct for seeing into harmonies. The way I studied harmony was rather unique; some years ago (at home) I kept a treatise on harmony in my bedroom, read as much as I could conveniently grasp the last 84 MEMORIAA.S OF F. R. H. Nº -* thing, and then worked out the exercises in my head before going to sleep. This I did for several weeks, and suppose I must have taken it in very comfortably under this system, inasmuch as I had some work to persuade Hiller that I had gone through no “academical course 1" Frances writes (1870) of difficulties in the work: I was so struck this morning with “Thou art the Helper of the fatherless,”—the very first time one of those special orphan promises has come home to me. I had been puzzling over a tune which papa would have decided about in a minute, and missed him so much, , when suddenly this verse flashed upon me brightly. I think that even in music the Lord is my helper now ; much more in other things. When composing some tunes at this time, I selected six about which I felt doubtful, and sent them to Sir Frederick Ouseley, asking him to say if they were all right. This he most kindly did ; to my great delight he endorsed them every one, and praised them too. Very prayerfully did she write several Hymns for “Songs of Grace and Glory;” and, when she heard from time to time of their being blessed, she wrote in answer to a friend's communication: It does seem wonderful that God should use and bless my hymns; and yet it really does seem as if the seal of His own blessing were set upon them, for so many testimonies have reached me. Writing is praying with me, for I never seem to write even a verse by myself, and feel like a little child writing; you know a child would look up at every sentence and say, “And what shall I say next?” That is just what I do; I ask that at every line He would give me, not merely thoughts and power, but also every word, even the very rhymes, Very often I have a most distinct and happy consciousness of direct answers. As you use “Havergal's Psalmody,” I thought you might be interested to know a little more about my dear father, so will you accept a “Memorial” of him * WRITING FOR THE GREAT COAVGRAEGATION. 85 Literal “singing for Jesus” is to me, somehow, the most personal and direct commission I hold from my beloved Master; and my opportunities for it are often most curious, and have been greatly blessed; every line in my little poem “singing for Jesus” is from personal experience. . . . I was so overwhelmed on Sunday at hearing three of my hymns touchingly sung at Perry Church. I never before realized the high privilege of writing for “the great congregation;” especially 633, “I gave my life for thee” to papa's tune “Baca ;” the others were 120 and 921 in “S. G. G.” (To Margaret W-.) º . Last night they sang “To Him who for our sins was slain,” to my little tune “Tryphosa ;” it went so deliciously, and choir and Congregation really rang out the Alleluias so brightly that it suddenly came over me, as it never did before, what a privilege it is even to have contributed a bit of music for His direct praise. It was a sort of hush of praise, all alone with Jesus, for His great goodness. I had no idea “Tryphosa” was such a pretty tune before | . . . About coming to hear , I see that I shall glorify Him most by staying away. Fruits of my profession are looked for, and what will be looked for in this case is submission to known wishes and the yielding up of my own. It is sure to be all right. I don't think He will let me lose the blessing and the help I had looked for in coming. . . . One result of her own trials was sympathy with others, beautifully expressed in the following letter: LEAMINGTON, December Io, 1870. DEAR, DEAR MRS. SNEPP,- What can one do but just weep with you ! I can only guess what this sorrow is. Only I know it must be the greatest except one, which could come to you. That 86 AZE MORIAZS OF A. R. R. dear little beautiful thing; He looked so sweet and happy when I saw him at the station : no baby face ever haunted me as, somehow, his did. If you could only see him now, how beautiful he must be now that he has seen Jesus and shines in the light of God. It is even more wonderful to think of that great transition for a baby than for a grown person; one cannot imagine the sudden expansion into such knowledge and conscious joy. I was looking back early this morning, upon long memories of Soul trials, years of groping and stumbling and longing, sinning, and sorrowing, of heart weariness and faintness, temptation and failure; all these things which I suppose every Christian must pass through, more * or less, at some stage or other on the way home ; and the first distinct thought which came through the surprise and sorrow at the sad news was, “that the little redeemed one is spared all this, taken home without any of these roughest roughnesses of the way; he will never fear or doubt or sin, never grieve the Saviour. Is it not the very best and kindest thing that tender Saviour could do for him P Only it is not what you mean when you prayed that he might be His own, But better, for he is with Him at once and for ever, and waiting for you to come home too. I am only writing all this because my heart is full, and must pour out a little. I know we can't comfort, only Jesus can ; and I shall go and plead long and intensely for this as soon as I have closed my letter. He must be specially, “touched” in such a sorrow, for He knows by actual experience what human love is. Three such great sorrows in one year ! how specially He must be watching you in such a furnace . . . Yours with deepest sympathy and love. In June of 1871 Frances and her friend Elizabeth Clay spent some weeks in Switzerland; with no encumbering luggage, just carpet bags and knapsacks, they often diverged from beaten routes. Frances always spoke of this as the most enjoyable of all her Swiss tours. Walk- ing up the Reuss valley she writes from Geschenen — MOST EN3OYABLE SWISS TOUR. S7 Hurrah we are in a most exhilarated state of mind, just like children; and, except a little undercurrent. of general thanksgiving, we don't feel solemn at all, and have been in the wildest spirits. From Andermatt we took the diligence to the Furca Pass. It is so early that, in some places, the road lay between walls of snow. We were obliged to take a guide up the Furca Horn, as there is no vestige of a track; the Snow slopes were most entertaining to cross, and I enjoyed the scramble excessively. Going up the Aeggischhorn (she continues), an Alpine Clubbist with the guide Fischer was before us, and he afterwards told our guide, Alexander, that he watched us from above, and that I “went up like a chamois l’ and he was quite astonished how quickly I got up a difficult climb; but I always had an instinct I should find myself a rather extra good climber. The glissades down are simply delicious. BEL ALP, July 8. To-day has been the best of all We secured Anton Walden for the Sparrenhorn, which is nearly Io, ooo feet. Another lady, Miss Anstey, joined. Coffee at 3.30, started before 4 a.m. Now I have seen it at last, a real Alpine dawn and sunrise to perfection | When we came out we saw the “daffodil sky,” which Tyndall describes, in the east a calm glory of expectant light as if something positively celestial must come next, instead of merely the usual sun. In the south-west the grand mountains stood, white and perfectly clear, as if they might be waiting for the resurrection, with the moon shining pale and radiant over them, the deep Rhone valley dark and grave-like in contrast below. As we got higher, the first rose flush struck the Mischabel and Weisshorn, and Monte Leon came to life too; it was real rose-fire, delicate yet intense. The Weisshorn was in its full glory, looking more per- fectly lovely than any earthly thing I ever saw. When the tip of the Matterhorn caught the red light on its evil- looking rocky peak, it was just like a volcano, and looked 88 MAE MOAC/A/S OA' F. R. H. t I'. Mº', ; rather awful than lovely, giving one the idea of an evil ° angel impotently wrathful, shrinking away from the Sérene glory and utter purity of a holy angel, which that Weisshorn at dawn might represent if anything earthly could. The eastern ridges were almost jet, in front of the great golden glow into which the daffodil sky height- ened. By 4.30 a.m. it was all over, and thenceforth we devoted ourselves to getting up the Sparrenhorn. After many other excursions they went down into the Italian valleys, July 28th. CourMAYEUR. I have been writ- ing in a delicious den, under a rock, cool and shady, a discovery of Elizabeth's. It commands a grand front of Mont Blanc. We had a stiff climb to the shoulder of a mountain whose Courmayeur face is a striking precipice. There is a tolerable path up a gorge, leading to a ride just below the cone of Mont Chétif. From this point we had a face-to-face view of the most precipitous side of Mont Blanc, with the ice fall of the Glacier de Brevna. The summit of Mont Blanc was veiled, but I think that added to the weird sublimity of the view. One evening the English chaplain and Mrs. Phinn asked us to come to tea, to meet Costabel the Vaudois missionary pastor stationed here. This was very inter- esting; he is a nice, simple, good man, and told us a great deal about Vaudois work. Costabel is very isolated here (but Mr. Phinn has quite taken him up), for he has only a few poor Christian friends, and never any superior society unless the English find him out. He told us that the fear of death among the people here is awful, and that he is frequently present at the most painful death scenes. During life and health they leave everything to the priest, and believe that he will make it all right for them; and, except complying with certain forms, do not think or trouble themselves about religion at all. Then, when they are dying they get alarmed, and see that this natural shifting of their religion upon another (the priest) 3 will not do; they lose confidence in him, and have no TAZE VA UDO/S CHAPLA/M. 89 other; they want peace and have none; they would like to feel assured, but they have no assurance; and they die in agonies of terror. It was terrible to hear Costabel's description of what he says is the rule as to Romish deathbeds. “Unto the poor the gospel is preached,” and he says it is so here. Qnly the poor will listen to him, and those in the outlying villages where no priest resides. We find the people here quite different from ; the Swiss, and not at all so ready to accept Gospels. It is the first place where, on offering any, we have been asked “whether it was a Protestant book;” however they always end by taking them. Mont Blanc is more than ever supreme to me; it is quite strange what a difference in effect there is between him and Monte Rosa, though this is second in height and only 500 feet lower. Monte Rosa is quite disappointing and unimposing; and, as there are four other mountains round Zermatt very nearly as high, and seven or eight more not much lower, there is nothing of this imperial supremacy which makes Mont Blanc so unmistakable from anywhere. I think that, either for strong or weak folk, Courmayeur is the very best place I know of for making a long stay at ; the walks and excursions are inexhaustible, there are any amount of grand things to do for mountaineers, and lovely little easy walks, as short as you like, for mere invalids. Valleys and gorges fork and re-fork in all directions. Another advantage is that it lies on a gentle slope some little height above the noisy, foaming * Dora, and so one has not the perpetual roar which I always think the greatest drawback to Swiss enjoyment. If the rivers would but go to sleep at night, what a relief it would be I certainly have not been so well for years, and except for some wakeful nights I should have done the whole tour without flagging at all. Saturday, 5.30 p.m. CHAPIU. We have got off at last; it was not at all hopeful yesterday, and I began the day rather anxiously (as I should really have been in a fix if we could not have left till Monday), and there 90 MEAEORYA Y.S OF F. R. A. was the clearest, most transparent, dawn sky imaginable; not a cloud ; and a delicious north wind, which is an infal- lible sign of first-rate weather. We got off exactly at five, in great spirits, as the views must be first-rate on such a morning, and the cool wind would make walking very easy. As we passed our old hotel, we found a caravan of about eighteen mules and nearly as many guides, as all the Italians pensioning there were going up the Col de la Seigne for the day. We hastened on, as we of course did not want to be mixed up, and succeeded in keeping ahead the whole way, five hours, though we were alternately on foot and they all riding, and got to the top just before them. We chose our spot to lunch, and they camped at a little distance with many bows and “Bon appetits 1” and other small foreign civilities, as they passed us. When we had finished and were moving off, they shouted to us to stay, and all rose and came to us offering us wine and fruit, and saying they wished to propose a toast and drink with us before we left. It was far too gracefully done to refuse ; so red wine was poured, and all raised a most cordial “Vive l’Angleterre P’ with great enthu- siasm and clinking of glasses, to which we responded with a “Viva l'Italia 1" which seemed to please them. Then an old priest said, “Mesdemoiselles, étes vous catholiques P Viva Roma P to which I replied in Italian, “We can at least say, Viva Roma capitale d’ Italia /* which response he quite understood and said, “Ah well, ah well, viva Christianity,” to which we of course responded con amore. Then two or three more (probably freethinkers, I'm afraid) said, “Oui bien, but no more Popery,” and two or three similar exclama- tions, at which we were very much astonished, as at least three priests were in the party. Then we were allowed to depart, with no end of hat wavings and good wishes. We were so taken by surprise with the whole thing, and all passed so quickly, and so many rapid exclamations and vivas firing off in French and Italian, that I was quite sorry afterwards that I had not recollected all quite distinctly. It was such a curious little episode, and * CAE/RAS 7TMA.S DA Y. 91 occurring too at such a superb spot, and close to the cross which marks the boundary and bears on one side “France” and on the other “Italia.” We reached Chapiu at two, having only been eight hours in actual progress, as we stayed nearly an hour on the col, as we hoped it might be possible to put on steam and get over the Col de Bonhomme this afternoon, and thereby be yet able to do Chamounix. But we found that, owing to the great Snow, it would take five hours from Chapiu, and that all on foot, as a mule could not go at all; so we were obliged to give it up (though feeling quite equal to it), as the guide said we could not do it before dark, and it would not do to risk that. So we have put up here for Sunday, at a funny little inn, many miles from any village. It has been a glorious day, as clear as crystal, almost too clear, as it rather takes from the sublimity, the sum- mits look so near. We passed the Lac de Combat, an exquisitely soft-tinted lake, pearly blue (but less intense than Geneva), reflecting a grand and lovely group of snow summits and ridges, more like a fairy fancy than a reality in its unique loveliness. That lake was red in Napoleon's days, and a wretched garrison was kept freezing there four whole winters, guarding the pass at the boundary. The ruins of their rough fortifications are reflected in one corner, a melancholy contrast. The col is 8450 feet high, but the ascent was unusually gradual, and we were as fresh when we got to the top as when we started. But then we had ignominiously descended to having a mule between us: So it was only two hours and a half walking for each. There is no post at all here, but any chance guide or traveller takes letters on to Bourg St. Maurice We pass on to Christmas Day of this year, 1871; which was spent at Leamington, and in connection with which she writes to her old friend as follows: (To E. C.) tº 0 Christmas has as much of pain as of joy in it 92 MAZMORYALS OF F. A. H. l now, more perhaps, and yet one would not blot out the memories which cause the pain. I have found this second return home after my dear father's death fully as trying as the first. . . . One or two pet schemes are defeated ; but let me rather dwell on Christmas mer- cies, and much that can infinitely satisfy one's cravings. Subsequent ill health obliged Frances to give up much pleasant work, and especially the training of the St. Paul’s voluntary choir, which had been committed to her. But (she writes) “when a disappointment comes in that way it must be His appointment l” (To M. W.) º I am stopped in every attempt at consecutive work. It has for years been special discipline to me, because I am naturally fond of going through with a thing, and have always had a strong yearning for definite * Settled work. Yet I have never been permitted anything but desultory work; either ailments or something beyond my own control has always interfered ever since I was about twenty. . . . Margaret, is it that He cannot trust me with any work for Him, even after all these years? I have been feeling very down, and I hope really humbled; it seemed rather marked, His not letting me write at all this year; and, now, taking away all work from me seems another sentence of the same lesson. I feel such a “cumberer,” every one doing more and better than myself. Pray for me, that I may really learn all He is teaching me. . . . (To the same.) I am always getting surprises at my own stupidity Why could not I have seen that lovely trio of texts P This only confirms my strong belief that if I am to write J to any good, a great deal of living must go to a very little writing, and that this is why I have always been held back from writing a tithe of what I wanted to write; and I see the wisdom of it. CHA P T E R V III, (1872–1874.) “The Right Way”—Snowdon—Evenings at Harlech — Jesus our Reality — Switzerland once more — Ascent to the Grands Mulets—Glissade peril and escape—Active service—Winter- dyne — Bright sunshine — Full surrender — 1 John i. 7 — Definitive standpoint—Chimes in the night of “Ever, only, all for Thee” — No cheque — Songs, not sighs — How “Golden harps,” “Tell it out," etc., came—Wayside enjoy. ments. N the summer of 1872 we enjoyed a few weeks' tour together in North Wales, the change being desirable for my dear sister, who immediately recovered her health and buoyancy. She writes from Barmouth, July 6, 1872 : DFAR G–, Surely “The Right Way” will be the shining inscription on every Christian's home path at last; all will be alike in this one thing, however diverse in all else. . . . We have been two nights at Dolgelly; it is lovely, and so different in character, that it no more suffers after Switzerland than a forget-me-not beside a rose. . . . My sister has the scent of a Red Indian for good old widow women and people needing consolation. . . . o P.S.—Isaiah xlviii. 17 : do suck all the honey out of this full and sweet text. (To E. C.) PEN-y-GURYD, July 16. º . It seems very natural to scribble to you, after 99 94 MEMORAAES OF F. R. E. º our Swiss experiences last summer. I leave circulars and generalities to Maria. I see by my little register that I have received above 6oo letters between January and July 1st. It would be impossible, unless you were with me day by day, to give you a notion of the unaccountable variety of things that people will persist in writing to me about. tº I think Wales will put me out of conceit of Switzer- land One gets so very much beauty and enjoyment with so much less expense or fatigue. This year, too, I had such a craving for rest rather than for exertion, that our plan suits me far better. I intensely enjoyed the feeling of rest and leisure at Harlech, without having to “do” any places next day or next I am glad you were at the Mildmay Conference. I did so want to go, but dear mother so strongly advised me not that I thought it clear duty to refrain. I think the very thing which would be pleasure and help to you, would be a serious spiritual drawback to me, meeting those you know or could speak to. The human element, however delightful, would distract and hinder me from meeting “Jesus only.” How all these differences of need and desire will be overflowed in the glorious assembly above I do like to think of that. I prayed that Wales might be my conference, and that I might not miss a blessing; and in some degree it has been answered, for I have been rather specially happy. I seemed to have arrears of prayer, things I wanted as it were to talk over and talk out with God, and especially the three last evenings at Harlech, when I went out alone for the purpose; I found two or three hours none too long for uninterrupted communion of this kind. -- I am finishing this at the top of Snowdon; the ascents are all so easy; no need of ponies or guides when we can walk twelve to fifteen miles. We shall run down from this the Llanberis side, and camp for a week, half way down, with one of my sister's charming old women. I have had such interesting openings for work the last few weeks, some only beginnings, others I trust real 3. SAVO WDOAV. 95 conversions; I tell my sister what I could not write. So He gives us different work to do, but all His work. We must return from Wales to be present at the wedding of my dear niece, Miriam Crane, the end of July. From Moel Siabod we had series of glimpses of the sunny world below, and magnificent veilings and un- veilings of . Snowdon, soft white wreaths folding and unfolding among the massive heights. In Llyn Dinas I saw an effect quite new to me. The Slanting sunlight took the ripples at just such an angle that an exquisite gold network, waving and gleaming upon the dark brown stones, was produced, in some places concentrating like a golden web, in others like open trellis work. The harmony of colour, the rich warm brown of the stones with the intense gold, was not a combination we should have struck out. My favourite mountain verse is : “Unto Thee, O Lord, do we give thanks, for that Thy name is near Thy wondrous works declare.” Thoughts from various Zetters, 1873. “How I should like to be with you now it would be so nice to throw one little flower among your thorns. However, I think He would send me, impossible as it seems, if really best ; so, as I am not sent, I know it is better so.” “So your fiery trial is still unextinguished. But what if it be but His beacon light on your upward path !” “This is bitter desolation for you, so I send you ‘I will not leave you comfortless.’ It was a greater loss than any, which the disciples were to endure, His own personal presence withdrawn. Can He have changed since He spoke those loving words P What a test of the disciples' faith ! What could make up for this greatest loss of all? How could He go away, and yet not leave them comfortless P You are called now to the same sort of trial of faith; can you not trust the truth and love of the Master who sends it? And then ‘I will 96 MEMORIAA.S OF A. R. F. come to you.’ You know something of how He can ‘come,’ but do you think you have reached the end of His gracious comings P” “It is a question whether a really thoughtful mind could possibly yield the homage of its entire being to a God whom it could understand and fathom, The instinct of such a mind would revolt from it.” “‘As for thee, the Lord thy God has not suffered thee to do so.” What a stepping stone ! We give thanks, often with a tearful doubtful voice, for our spiritual mercies positive, but what an almost infinite field there is for mercies negative | We cannot even imagine all that God has suffered us not to do, not to be.” “. . . Did you ever hear of any one being vely much used for Christ who did not have some special waiting time, some complete upset of all his or her plans first; from St. Paul's being sent off into the desert of Arabia for three years, when he must have been boiling over with the glad tidings, down to the present day ? You were looking forward to tell about trusting Jesus in Syria; now He says, “I want you to show what it is to trust Me, without waiting for Syria.' Even if you never say one word, it will be seen your trust is a reality, because Jesus is a Reality. “My own case is far less severe, but the same in principle, that when I thought the door was flung open for me to go with a bound into literary work, it is opposed, and doctor steps in and says simply ‘Never ! She must choose between writing and living, she can’t do both.” That was in 1860. Then I came out of the shell with ‘Ministry of Song,’ in 1869, and saw the evident wis- dom of having been kept nine years waiting in the shade. “God’s love being unchangeable, He is just as living when we do not see or feel His love. Also His sovereignty and His love are co-equal and universal ; so He withholds the enjoyment and conscious progress, because He knows best what will really ripen and further His work in us.” SWYZZERA.4 WD OAVCAE MORE, 97 “‘Ye shall be gathered one by one, O ye children of Israel' (Isa. xxvii. 12). Hence, individual love and care, personal calling and guidance. Yet this is only for the wilderness journey, for the ‘one by one’ will blossom at last into a grand answer to His prayer, ‘that they all may be one,’ no longer ‘one by one.’” “Tired, disappointed, and depressed, I thought of Matthew xi. 28, ‘Come unto Me all ye that labour,” but felt quite tantalized at it because “labour’ did not apply to me. I took up my Greek Testament and Lexicon, and to my delight saw that the very same word is used in John iv. 6, “Jesus therefore being wearied.’ Just human, natural, physical fatigue ! So I didn't see why I should not take the comfort of it, and I did not trouble to think, but He let the words rest me altogether.” In the summer of 1873 Frances accompanied her friends Mr. and Mrs. Snepp and their daughter Emily to Switzerland. She describes her ascent to the Grands Mulets on Mont Blanc, arriving at its desolate rocks in the midst of an ocean of Snow. We had some lovely effects, such as I had never seen before, in passing the colossal ice blocks on the shady side, the sun behind them touching the edges with a sort of transparent aureole, and shining through a glittering drip from the overhanging ones. On their descent from Mont Blanc, Frances' delight in glissading led to most perilous and imminent danger, from which Mr. Snepp's instantaneous presence of mind saved her life and also the life of one of the guides. She writes: They would not unrope me; when we got to Pierre à l'Echelle, I was so enjoying my glissades, and pre- sently thought we were come to a sufficiently easy part to go carelessly, whereupon I slipped, and Payot the G 98 MŽMORIAA.S OF F. R. Af. guide, who was next to me, totally lost himself too. Below us was a dark abyss ; we both started a decidedly too rapid spin down a very steep incline to sheer pre- cipice below; when, instantaneously, Mr. S. did the only possible thing which could have saved all four of us, flung himself right on his back with his heels in the snow, the orthodox thing to do if only any one has the presence of mind to do it. Thus he was enabled to bear the immense strain on the rope, and check our im- petus; thank God, we soon recovered our footing, After this I was unroped, which I greatly prefer; it is so hampering, and had some splendid glissades alone, and we returned to Chamounix in two hours less than the regulation time. Returning from Switzerland to Oakhampton, our dear mother being at the seaside, Frances at once began most diligent work. Her active service had no intervals of dreamy enjoyment; but cottage visitations, and four Bible classes weekly, attended with unwearied exertions, at last culminated in crowded attendances in the servant's hall. Soon after this, she assisted in preparatory work for a Mission at Bewdley. With the late Vicar's consent, the Rev. G. Everard had promised to come; but the fever in his family and the death of his dear children frustrated this arrangement, and the Rev. C. B. Snepp undertook all the services. My sister, though very fragile, gave much help in the choir and other opportunities for work. The family at Winterdyne will ever have reason to thank God for Frances’ visit, though no words here may tell of its lasting influence and blessed results. During a Mission Week at Liverpool she was again at work. (To Margaret W.) ECCLESTON HALL, October 23, 1873. To think of my actually being here ! J is so good THE WAAV7 SA TYSEAZA). 99 to me, nursing me after my Liverpool work, which rather used me up. I had a young women's meeting on Wednes- day, was at work all Thursday morning, and intended to make sure of an hour's very needful rest and preparation for my hymn meeting, when some callers came who had, I trust, really got a blessing the night before. I am hardly as much used up as I feared, after five days' incessant work, but it is long since I had any real rest. . . . I have just been writing my request for praise. What can I do? I can’t curtail it ! Oh, how I wish I could have come over to your praise meeting, and just tried to tell you all how gracious, and faithful, and near, God has been all this summer | If I kept a diary it would be just a record of answers to prayer, and such great ones too ! I wish you would tell the members of the Y. W. C. A., because they would be encouraged to hear how wonder- fully God has answered one of their members, and He is the same God, rich to all that call upon Him. . We now reach a period in the life of dear Frances that was characterized by surpassing blessing to her soul. The year 1873 was drawing to a close, and she was again visiting at Winterdyne. One day she received in a letter from N a tiny book with the title “All for Jesus !” She read it carefully. Its contents arrested her attention. It set forth a fulness of Christian experience and blessing exceeding that to which she had as yet attained. She was gratefully conscious of having for many years loved the Lord and delighted in His service; but her experience was not up to the standard of full consecration and spiritual power, or of uniform brightness and continuous enjoyment in the Divine life. “All for Jesus” she found went straight to this point of the need and longing of her soul. Writing in reply to the author of the little book, she said: “I do so long for * “All for Jesus !” S. W. Partridge & Co, gº. * * * *s … IOO AMEMOA IA LS OF F. R. F. !. deeper and fuller teaching in my own heart. “All for Jesus' has touched me very much. . . . I know I love Jesus, and there are times when I feel such intensity of love to Him that I have not words to describe it. I rejoice, too, in Him as my ‘Master’ and ‘Sovereign,' but I want to come nearer still, to have the full realization of John xiv. 21, and to know ‘the power of His resurrec- tion,” even if it be with the fellowship of His sufferings. And all this, not exactly for my own joy alone, but for others. . . . So I want Jesus to speak to me, to say ‘many things’ to me, that I may speak for Him to others with real power. It is not knowing doctrine, but being with Him, which will give this.” sº God did not leave her long in this state of mind. He Himself had shown her that there were “regions beyond” of blessed experience and service; had kindled in her very soul the intense desire to go forward and possess them ; and now, in His own grace and love, He took her by the hand, and led her into the goodly land. A few words from her correspondent on the power of Jesus to keep those who abide in Him from falling, and on the continually present power of His blood (“the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin,”) were used by the Master in effecting this, Very joyously she replied: “I see it all, and I HAVE the blessing.” The “sunless ravines” were now for ever passed, and henceforth her peace and joy flowed onwards, deepening and widening under the teaching of God the Holy Ghost. The blessing she had received had (to use her own words) “lifted her whole life into sunshine, of which all she had previously experienced was but as pale and passing April gleams, compared with the fulness of summer glory.” **º-º-º: * I John i. 7. 7"AAA. HZGAZWA W OF ANOLAVES.S. IOI The practical effect of this was most evident in her daily, true-hearted, whole-hearted service for her King, and also in the increased joyousness of the unswerving obedience of her home life, the surest test of all. To the reality of this, I do most willingly and fully testify. Some time afterwards, in answer to my question, when we were talking quietly together, Frances said: “Yes, it was on Advent Sunday, December 2nd, 1873, I first saw clearly the blessedness of true consecration. I saw it as a flash of electric light, and what you see you can never unsee. There must be full surrender before there can be full blessedness. God admits you by the one into the other. He Himself showed me all this most clearly. You know how singularly I have been withheld from attending all conventions and conferences; man's teaching has, consequently, had but little to do with it. First, I was shown that ‘the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin,” and then it was made plain to me that He who had thus cleansed me had power to keep me clean ; so I just utterly yielded myself to Him, and utterly trusted Him to keep me.” I replied that “it seemed to me, if we did thus yield ourselves to the Lord, we could not take ourselves back again, any more than the Levitical sacrifices, once accepted by the priest, were returned by him to the offerer.” “Yes,” she rejoined, “just so. Still, I see there can be the renewal of the surrender, as in our Communion Service, where we say: ‘And here we offer and present unto Thee, O Lord, ourselves, our souls and bodies.’ And there may also be a fuller surrender, even long after a surrender has once, or many times before, been made. And then as to sanctification: that it is the work of the Holy Spirit, and progressive, is the very thing I see and IC3 MeMozzazs or F. R. A. rejoice in, . He has brought me into the ‘highway of holiness,' up which I trust every day to progress, con- tinually pressing forward, led by the Spirit of God. And I do indeed find that with it comes a happy trusting, not only in all great matters, but in all the little things also, so that I cannot say ‘so and so worries me.” Some months afterwards I received the following letter on the same subject: DEAREST MARIA, - ſº Certainly your letters have filled me with gladness and thanksgiving. Loving thanks to Mr. Shaw for his message. . . . I have long wanted to explain to you and others in writing (which is easier to me to be clear in, than in con- versation, with its natural interruptions) what I see as to the subject which to me was undoubtedly the portal into a happy life. As to “perfectionism” or “sinlessness,” ‘I have all alóng, and over and over again, said I nevel did, and do not, hold either. “Sinlessness” belongs only to Christ now, and to our glorified state in heaven. I believe it to be not merely an impossibility on earth, but an actual contradiction of our very being, which cannot be “sinless” till the resurrection change has passed upon us. But being kept from falling, kept from sins, is quite another thing, and the Bible seems to teem with com- mands and promises about it. First, however, I would distinctly state, that it is only as and while a soul is under the full power of the blood of Christ that it can be cleansed from all sin; that one moment's withdrawal from that power, and it is again actively because really sinning; and that it is only as, and while, kept by the power of God Himself that we are not sinning * Him; one instant of standing alone is certain fall ! But (premising that) have we not been limiting the cleansing power of the precious blood when applied by the Holy Spirit, and also the keeping power of our God? . Have we not been limiting I John i. 7, by practically making it * & F.YPL4 AVA TORY ZE 7'7"E.R. Ro3 refer only to “the remission of sins that are past,” instead of taking the grand simplicity of “cleanseth us from all sin?” “All” is all; and as we may trust Him to cleanse from the stain of past sins, so we may trust Him to cleanse from all present defilement; yes, all / If not, we take away from this most precious promise, and, by refusing to take it in its fulness, lose the fulness of its application and power. (Then we limit God's power to “keep ;” we look at our frailty more than at His omni- potence, ) Where is the line to be drawn, beyond which He is not “able?” The very keeping implies total help- lessness without it, and the very cleansing most distinctly implies defilement without it. It was that one word “cleanseth” which opened the door of a very glory of hope and joy to me. I had never seen the force of the tense before, a continual present, always a present tense, not a present which the next moment becomes a past. It goes on cleansing, and I have no words to tell how my heart rejoices in it. Not a coming to be cleansed in the fountain only, but a remaining in the fountain, so that it may and can go on cleansing, Why should we pare down the commands and pro- mises of God to the level of what we have hitherto experienced of what God is “able to do,” or even of what we have thought He might be able to do for us? Why not receive God's promises, nothing doubting, just as they stand? “Take the shield of faith, whereby ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked;” “He is able to make all grace abound toward you, that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things;” and so on, through whole constellations of promises, which surely mean really and fully what they say. One arrives at the same thing, starting almost from any- where. Take Philippians iv. 19, “your need;” well, what is my great need and craving of soul? Surely it is now (having been justified by faith, and having assurance of salvation) to be made holy by the continual sanctifying power of God's Spirit; to be kept from grieving the Lord Jesus; to be kept from thinking or doing whatever is not I C4 MEMORYA LS OF F. R. H. .” accordant with His holy will. Oh what a need is this And it is said, “He shall supply all need;” now, shall we turn round and say “all” does not mean quite all P Both as to the commands and the promises, it seems to me that anything short of believing them as they stand is but another form of “yea, hath God said P” Thus accepting, in simple and unquestioning faith, God’s commands and promises, one seems to be at once brought into intensified views of everything. Never, oh never before, did sin seem so hateful, so really “intoler- able,” nor watchfulness so necessary, and a keenness and uninterruptedness of watchfulness too, beyond what one ever thought of, only somehow different, not a distressed sort but a happy sort. It is the watchfulness of a sentinel when his captain is standing by him on the ramparts, when his eye is more than ever on the alert for any sign of the approaching enemy, because he knows they can only approach to be defeated. Then, too, the “all for Jesus” comes in ; one sees there is no half-way, it must be absolutely all yielded up, because the least unyielded or doubtful point is sin, let alone the great fact of owing all to Him. And one cannot, dare not, temporize with sin. I know, and have found, that even a momentary hesitation about yielding, or obeying, or trusting and believing, vitiates all, the communion is broken, the joy vanished; only, thank God, this never need continue even five minutes, faith may plunge instantly into “the fountain open for sin and unclean- ness,” and again find its power to cleanse and restore. ſº one wants to have more and more light; one does shrink from painful discoveries of evil, because one so º to have the unknown depths of it cleansed as well *------~~ what comes to the surface. “Cleanse me throughly from my sin;” and one prays to be shown this. But so far as one does see, one must “put away sin” and obey entirely; and here again His power is our resource, enabling us to do what without it we could not do. One of the intensest moments of my life was when I saw the force of that word “cleanseth.” The utterly un- AEXPZAAWA 7TOR P ZAZ 77A2 R. Io; expected and altogether unimagined sense of its fulfilment to me, on simply believing it in its fulness, was just in- describable. I expected nothing like it short of heaven. I am so thankful that, in the whole matter, there was as little human instrumentality as well could be, for certainly two sentences in letters from a total stranger were little. I say only two sentences, for nothing else seemed to make much difference to me; all the rest was, I am sure, God's own direct teaching. And you know I had read no books and attended no meetings or conferences ! I am so conscious of His direct teaching and guidance, through His word and Spirit, in the matter that I cannot think I can ever unsee it again. I have waited many months before writing this, so it is no new and untested theory to me; in fact, experience came before theory, and is more to me than any theory. But, understand me, it is “not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect; but I follow after, I press toward the mark, for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Frances wrote to her friend J E. I send you my own New Year's motto and message. It is a wonderful word, “from glory unto glory.” May we more and more claim and realize all that is folded up in it. I know you have prayed for me, so I must tell you that your prayers are answered. 1873 has been a year of unprecedented blessing to me. I think you will see this in “From Glory unto Glory.” So now will you join me in praise. is This hymn was written at Winterdyne, and Mr. Shaw well remembers Frances bringing it and reading it to him, saying, “There ! I could not have written this before.” And as she stood, even in the twilight, the sunny radiance of her countenance was sealing her words: “The fulness of His blessing encompasseth our way; The fulness of His promises crowns every brightening day; - foë A/EMORIA LS OF F. R. E. *. i. The fulness of His glory is beaming from above, While more and more we realize the fulness of His love.” Every visit seemed now to open doors for her loving words, and she longed for whole households to taste with her of the goodness of the Lord. One extract must be as it were a glimpse of many others. Perhaps you will be interested to know the origin of the consecration hymn, “Take my life.” I went for a little visit of five days. There were ten persons in the house, some unconverted and long prayed for, some converted but not rejoicing Christians. He gave me the prayer, “Lord, give me all in this house !” And He just did / Before I left the house every one had got a bless- ing. The last night of my visit I was too happy to sleep, and passed most of the night in praise and renewal of my own consecration, and these little couplets formed themselves and chimed in my heart one after another, till they finished with, “Fwer, only, ALL for Thee I’” The beautiful couplet in the same hymn, “Take my voice, and let me sing, Always, only for my King,” was thenceforth (from December 1873) really carried out. She writes: Let us sing words which we feel and love, sacrificing everything to clearness of enunciation, and looking up to meet His smile all the while we are singing; our * songs will reach more hearts than those of finer voices and more brilliant execution, unaccompanied by His power. A Sacred song thus sung often gives a higher tone to the evening, and affords, both to singer and listeners, some opportunity of speaking a word for Jesus. tº ſº tº I was at a large regular London party lately, and I was so happy. He seemed to give me “the secret of His presence,” and of course I sang “for Jesus,” and did not I have dead silence P Afterwards I had two 's {} Avoz' A FEAR, or DoDBT, or CARE, Ioy really important conversations with strangers; one seemed extremely surprised at finding himself quite easily drifted from the badinage with which he started into a right- down personal talk about his personal danger and his only hope for safety; he took it very well, and thanked me. Perhaps that seed may bear fruit. Somehow it is wonderful how the Master manages for me in such cases. I don’t think any one can say I force the subject; it just all develops one thing out of another, quite naturally, till very soon they find themselves face to face with eternal things, and the Lord Jesus can be freely “lifted up” before them. I could not contrive a conversation thus. And the following letter gives another reference to the reality of her experience. January 26, 1874. DEAR MR. S.––, I have just had such a blessing in the shape of what would have been only two months ago a really bitter blow to me; and now it is actual accession of joy, because I find that it does not even touch me ! I was expecting a letter from America, enclosing 435 now due to me, and possibly news that “ Bruey” was going on like steam, and “Under the Surface” pressingly wanted. The letter has come, and, instead of all this, my publisher has failed in the universal crash. He holds my written promise to publish only with him as the con- dition of his launching me; so this is not simply a little loss, but an end of all my American prospects of either cash, influence, or fame, at any rate for a long time to come. I really had not expected that He would do for me so much above all I asked, as not merely to help me to acquiesce in this, but positively not to feel it at all, and only to rejoice in it as a clear test of the reality of victorious faith which I do find brightening almost daily. Two months ago this would have been a real trial to me, for I had built a good deal on my American prospects, now “Thy will be done” is not a sigh but only IO8 MEMORAA LS OF F. R. A. a song / I think if it had been all my English footing, present and prospective, as well as the American, that I thus found suddenly gone, it would have been worth it, for the joy it has been to find my Lord so faithful and true to all His promises. With regard to many of the promises, there seems no room for even the exercise of faith. It is not that I believe or grasp them, but that I find them all come true as I never did before. The sense of His unutterable lovingkindness to me is simply overwhelming. . . . Several times lately I have felt literally overwhelmed and overpowered with the realiza- , tion of God's unspeakable goodness to me. I say it ° deliberately, and with thankfulness and joy for which I have no words. I have not a fear, or a doubt, or a care, or a shadow upon the sunshine of my heart. Every day brings some quite new cause for thankfulness; only to-day He has given me such a victory as I never had before, in a very strong temptation; He lifted me above it in a way I never experienced yet. - Two months afterwards she writes: March 19, 1874. DEAR MR. W 3. • * I can never set myself to write verse. I believe my King suggests a thought and whispers me a musical line or two, and then I look up and thank Him delightedly, and go on with it. That is how the hymns and poems come. Just now there is silence. I have not had the least stir of music in my mind since I wrote that tiny consecration hymn, a most unusually long interval; and till He sends it there will be none. I am always ready to welcome it and work it when it comes but I never press for it, And the following letter confirms this statement: DEAR MR. W-, I can't make you quite understand me! You say “F. R. H. could do ‘satisfied’ grandly " Mo, she couldn't Not unless He gave it me line by line HYMN MEMORAAWDA. Io9 gººmssº-sº-m->ss That is how verses come. The Master has not put a chest of poetic gold into my possession and said, “Now use & it as you like l’ But He keeps the gold, and gives it me . piece by piece just when He will and as much as He will, and no more. Some day perhaps He will send me a bright line of verse on “Satisfied” ringing through my mind, and then I shall look up and thank Him, and say, “Now, dear Master, give me another to rhyme with it, and then another;” and then perhaps He will send it all in one flow of musical thoughts, but more likely one at a time, that I may be kept asking Him for every line. There, that is the process, and you see there is no “I can do it” at all. That isn't His way with me. I often smile to myself when people talk about “gifted pen” or “clever verses,” etc.; because they don’t know that it is -neither, but something really much nicer than being “ talented” or “clever.” Nearly every poem would verify the above. Some instances are given. When visiting at Perry Barr she walked to the boy's schoolroom, and being very tired she leaned against the playground wall while Mr. Snepp went in. Returning in ten minutes, he found her scribbling on an old envelope, and at his request she handed him the hymn just pencilled, “Golden harps are sounding.” In my dear sister's copy of the “Ministry of Song” she has written particulars which may be interesting, in connection with others of her well-known hymns. “This same Jesus” is founded on a recollection of one sentence in a sermon of my father's, at St. Nicholas, which struck me most vividly and happily. I shall not forget the thrill which went through me when he said, “it will be “this same Jesus.” It also developed a much earlier impression of the same kind in 1851. “This same Jesus” is one of the chief watchwords of my faith. I constantly recur to it, and I think it will be my comfort I HO MEMORALS OF F. R. A. in the dark valley. I wrote the lines at Oakhampton, one Sunday, when detained from church by a slight accident, and gave them to my niece Miriam. “Daily Strength.” The New Year's bells were ring- ing (1859), when Maria awoke me to hear them, and quoted to me the text, “As thy days, so shall thy strength be,” as a New Year's motto. I did not answer, but presently returned it to her in rhyme. She was pleased; so the next day I wrote it in her album. “Making Poetry” was suggested by a nice little girl, Charlotte Kirke, who was spending her holidays in Wales, when I was there in 1863. She made some really pretty little quatrains, and repeated one, about a daisy, to me sitting on the window seat. She called it “making poetry,” as children always do. “Adoration” (“O Master, at Thy feet I bow in rapture sweet”) was written on December 31, 1866. I felt that I had not written anything specially in praise to Christ; a strong longing to do so possessed me. I wanted to show forth His praise to Him, not to others; even if no mortal ever saw it, He would see every line, would know the unwritten longing to praise Him, even if words failed utterly. It describes, as most of my poems do, rather reminiscence than present feeling. “O Master 1" It is perhaps my favourite title, because it implies rule and submission; and this is what love craves. Men may feel differently, but a true woman's submission is inseparable from deep love. I wrote it in the cold and twilight in a little back room at Shareshill Parsonage. As I began my book (“Ministry of Song”) with the expression of its devotion to God’s glory, I wished to close it with a distinctive ascription of praise to the Lord © AMORA. OPAEAW DOORS. I I I Jesus, and therefore at once decided to place “Adora- tion” at the close. Her missionary hymn “Tell it out among the heathen” was written at Winterdyne, when unable to go to church one snowy Sunday morning. She asked for her Prayer- Book (in bed), always liking to follow the services for the day. On Mr. Shaw's return from church, he heard her touch on the piano. “Why, Frances, I thought you were upstairs I” “Yes; but I had my Prayer-Book, and in the Psalms for to-day I read “Tell it out among the heathen that the Lord is King.’ I thought, what a splendid first line ! and then words and music came rushing in to me. There it's all written out.” With copperplate neatness she had rapidly written out the words, music and harmonies complete. Only those who heard her could imagine the brisk ringing time with which she sang this tune. It distressed her when told how slowly and drowsily it was sometimes given. Further extracts from the correspondence of the period will close the present chapter. MY DEAREST G–, I am waiting for the carriage to take me back to Oak- hampton, having been spending a few hours in Worcester, and seeing some old parishioners of years ago, who re- collect me as “little Miss Fanny.” . . . The last two days I have been very busy, having spent the whole day before at Winterdyne, and even a day always throws me behind in letters, etc. I meant to rest here, but somehow there always seems to be too much to do. Such a very nice “open door” is set before me that I cannot but enter in, and so I have four different Bible classes a week 1 besides which, as many cottagers as I can possibly visit are grateful for reading. Yesterday I I2 Aſ EMORYALS OF F. R. A. ~ ; Ç evening I had a “farmers' daughters” class; twelve came, but I think a few more will join. I enjoyed it extremely, was frightened and nervous beforehand, and unavoidable visitors detained and distracted me up to the last minute, which seemed most unfortunate, but probably cast me all the more upon Jesus and His strength. . . . Dear G , will you pray for my little work here? I do think that in each of my classes here there is something going on, and a most earnest spirit of attention among the servants. And will you ask that I may be kept near to Jesus. I have brought you a crystal and amethyst locket from Geneva. . . . They told me it was a quite new device, but somehow the novelty did not weigh with me in choosing for you, so much as the suggestiveness of the stones; the very words “crystal and amethyst” are like a far gleam from the heavenly city. I have been thinking much lately of the Lord's loving kindness in giving us so much wayside enjoyment, and so much present reward in all our work for him. In spite of dark life enigmas, and real and heavy trials, and often keen inner conflict, not to mention daily burdens of weariness or anxiety or worry, we can set to our seal that “His ways are ways of pleasantness.” For, over and above the great gifts, the “blessed hope” set before us, and the quiet “peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,” what numbers of bits and drops of pleasure and delight one gets, which simply would not exist for us if we were not His children. Just look at Christian inter- course, the meetings without any cloud of suspicion or doubt of each other, the consciousness of true sweet sympathy, the thrill that one does feel when His beloved name is named ; all this, even with Christian acquaint- ances, is a great deal more than all the pleasure or good to be got out of any worldly intimacy or friendship so called. I want to hand over to you what I have been enjoying very much this week, a simple thought enough, Wut so nice. Dr. Candlish gives (in his beautiful book “A-EZZO WSAVA.” - I 13 on the First Epistle of St. John) as one of the proofs of “fellowship with the Father,” etc., our sympathy of aim, His cause being our cause, His kingdom and its advance- ment our interest, what interests Him interests us, and so on. This seemed at once to transfigure all one's daily life, and poor little small efforts to speak or write or work for God, and to éxalt it into “fellowship.” I cannot convey to you how much I enjoyed it, and what a bright reality and force it gave to the words “TRULY our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.” I like to think how impossible it would be to untwine Christ and the things of Christ from our life, inner and outer; when one comes to think about it He is so really and truly interwoven with our life that one seems to feel the “no separation” not merely as a grand promise, but an actuality which cannot be otherwise. H 's C H A P T E R IX, (1874.) Circular letters — Sunset on the Faulhorn—Ormont Dessus— Interruptions to poems—Other work done—“Little Pillows,” etc. — Swiss singing — That great transfer — A musical reverie—Return to England—Bright work and results. E give extracts from F. R. H.'s circular letters on her journey to Switzerland in 1874, with her niece Constance Crane, other friends (Elizabeth, Mar- garet, and Bessie) joining in their mountain excursions. “Sunset on the Faulhorn 1” All day there had been strange rifts in the clouds, and sudden pictures of peaks or of abysses framed in white and grey; but towards seven o'clock the wind rose, and there was a grand outpour of colour upon everything, sky, clouds, and mountains. Imagine yourself midway between heaven and earth, the sharp point of rock on which we stood hardly seem- ing more of earth than if we had been in a balloon, the whole space around, above, and below filled with wild, weird, spectral clouds, driving and whirling in incessant change and with tremendous rapidity; horizon none, but every part of where horizon should be, crowded with un- imaginable shapes of unimagined colours, with rifts of every shade of blue, from indigo to pearl, and burning with every tint of fire, from gold to intensest red; shafts of keen light shot down into abysses of purple thousands of feet below, enormous surging masses of grey hurled up from beneath, and changing in an instant to glorified brightness of fire as they seemed on the point of swallow- 114 SC/NSE 7" WOAZO EA’.S. 115 ing up the shining masses above them ; then, all in an instant, a wild grey shroud flung over us, as swiftly pass- ing and leaving us in a blaze of Sunshine: then a bursting open of the very heavens, and a vision of what might be celestial heights, pure and still and shining, high above it all; then, an instantaneous cleft in another wild cloud, and a revelation of a perfect paradise of golden and rosy slopes and summits; then, quick gleams of white peaks through veilings and unveilings of flying semi-transparent clouds; then, as quickly as the eye could follow, a rim of dazzling light running round the edges of a black castle of cloud, and flaming windows suddenly pierced in it; oh, mother dear, I might go on for sheets, for it was never twice the same, nor any single minute the same, in any one direction. At one juncture a cloud stood still, apparently about 200 yards off, and we each saw our own shadows gigantically reflected on it, sur- rounded by a complete rainbow arch, but a full circle of bright prismatic colours, a transfiguration of our shadows almost startling, each moreover seeing only their own glorification | When the whole pageant, lasting nearly an hour, was past, we sang “Abide with me,” and then the dear old joyous “Glory to Thee, my God.” ORMONT DESSUs, September. This second month of my Swiss journey is altogether different from the first, for now I am making writing the first thing instead of idleness. I am doing it quite in moderation, and taking plenty of fresh air as well; one can be out half the day and yet get four or five good hours' writing as well, under these circumstances, when there are no other calls upon time or strength whatever; and this combination of work and leisure is very delightful. Besides, I feel as if I had got quite a fresh start with that month's rest; it seems as if nature had then walked into my brain and taken possession (turning me out mean- while), and given it a kind of spring cleaning 1 rubbing up the furniture, and fresh papering some of the rooms, 1 : é AfEA/OA-AA D.S OF F. R. H. and cleaning the windows 1 That perpetual “moving on,” which some so delight in, does not suit me nearly So well as staying in a place and taking it easy. The weather has been so much colder and more variable, since I changed my tactics, that the two things coincided beautifully; for, except two days, it has been too cold the last fortnight for any sitting out of doors. I don't know why I always seem to shrink from writing much, or even anything, of the “under the surface” life (which is so much more than the “on the surface” and the mere surroundings), in my circulars. They would be much fuller if I told one tithe of the hourly bits of gentle guidance and clear lovingkindness which make the real enjoyment, or of the perpetual little opportunities of a “word for Jesus” which He seems to give me, and often of real work for Him, which yet seems to come so unsought, so easily and naturally, so altogether without any effort, as to be not felt to be any working at all. Now I will give you an instance of how He took me at my word the other day. It was one of the few warm days, and I established myself with pen and ink in a shady nook by a little, steep, down-hill torrent. I had suddenly got that sort of strong impulse to write on a certain theme, without which I never do my best, but with which I always do my best poems. The theme was a grand one (“The Thoughts of God”); I had thought of it for months, and never before had this impulse to begin upon it; though, once begun, I expected it to be one of my best poems. I spent a little time in prayer first, and then the warning and the promise in Jeremiah xv. 19 came strongly to my mind : “If thou take forth the precious from the vile, thou shalt be as My mouth.” I felt that wanted looking into; I wanted Him to take forth the precious from the vile for me, and to reveal and purge away, then and there, all the self and mingled motive which would utterly mar the work that I wanted to be for His glory. After that the question came, was I–had He made me—just as willing to do any little bit of work for Him, something for little children or poor people, simple Aſ CHAAVGE OF WORA. 117 and unseen, as this other piece of work, which might win something of man's praise? Then, I was intensely happy in feeling that I could tell HIM that I had no choice at all about it; but would really rather do just what He chose for me to do, whatever it might be. However, there seemed nothing else to do, so I began my poem. I don't think I had written four lines when a labourer with a scythe came along a tiny path to drink at the stream a few yards below me. He did not see me, and started when I hailed him and offered him a little book. He climbed up to receive it, and then, instead of departing as I expected, deliberately sat down on a big stone at my feet, and commenced turning over the leaves, and evidently laying himself out to be talked to. So here was clearly a little call; and I talked to him for some time, he being very interested and responsive. Just as he was going to move off, two lads, of about fifteen and eighteen, his sons, came crashing through the bushes; I don’t recollect whether the father beckoned them or not, anyhow up they came, and he quietly sat down again, and they sat down too, and seemed quite as willing to listen to the “old, old story” as he had been, only I could not get so much out of them. At last the whole crew departed, and I was just collecting my thoughts and reviving the aforesaid “impulse,” when in about ten minutes the younger lad reappeared, with his sister, a girl about seventeen. They did not say a word, but scrambled straight up to me, and seating themselves at my feet, looked up into my face, saying by their look as plain as any words, “Please talk to us !” What could one do but accede 1 and they stayed at least another half hour, so quiet and interested that one could not but hope the seed was falling on “good ground.” The girl, Félicie, was more communicative than the lads, very simple, but intelligent. By the time they departed a good part of the morning was gone, and the “impulse” too ! but I enjoyed the morning probably twice as much as if I had done a good piece of my poem; and it seemed so clear that the Master had taken me at my word, and come I 18 A/EMOR/4 LS OF F. R. H. ~J and given me this to do for Him among His “little ones,' and that He was there hearing and answering and accept. ing me, that it was worth any amount of poem-power. However, next day the “impulse” came again, which is by no means always the case when once interrupted; and once fairly started, I have worked out what I think is perhaps the best poem I ever wrote, so far as I can judge. But this is only one of constant instances which I could tell, /I do so feel that every hour is distinctly and definitely guided by Himy I have taken Him at His word in everything, and He takes me at my word in everything. Moh, I can say now that Jesus is “to me a living bright Reality,” and that He really and truly is “more dear, more intimately nigh, than e'en the sweetest earthly tie.” No friendship could be what I find His to be. I have more now than a few months ago, even though I was so happy then ; for the joy of giving my- self, and my will, and my all to Him seems as if it were succeeded, and even superseded, by the deeper joy of a conscious certainty that He has taken all that He led me to give; and “I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him:” so having entrusted my very trust to Him, I look forward ever so happily to the future (if there be yet much of earthly future for me) as “one vista of brightness and blessed, ness.” (Only I do so want everybody to “taste and see.} Yesterday I somehow came to a good full stop in my writing much earlier than I expected, and asked what He would have me do next, go on, or go out at once P Just then a young lady came in ; “Had I just a few minutes to spare P” So I went out with her at once. She had overheard a short chat I had had some days ago with another, didn't know what, but it had set her longing for something more than she had got. She had started out for a walk alone, thinking and praying, and the thought came to her to come straight to me, which she seemed to think an unaccountably bold step. Well, God seemed to give me exactly the right message for her, just as with Miss M last week, the two cases starting from a very * LITTLE PILLOWS.” 119 different level but the result the same, a real turning point. Don't conclude, however, from these that I am always seeing results, because I am not ; but that I am entirely content about, just as He chooses it to be. . It has occurred to me that, as I proſess to be “writing,” you will expect a new book as the result, and will be disappointed; so I tell you simply what I have written, and what I am going to write. “Our Swiss Guide.” Article for Sunday Magazine, on the spiritual analogies in all sorts of little details of mountaineering.” i “For Charity.” Song for Hutchings and Romer. “Enough.” Short sacred poem. “How much for Jesus?” A sort of little true story for children; for an American edition. “True Hearted.” New Year's Address (in verse) for Y. W. C. A., for January 1875. “Tiny Tokens.” A small poem for Good Words. “Precious Things.” A poem. “A Suggestion.” Short paper for Home Words. “The Precious Blood of Jesus.” A hymn. “The Thoughts of God.” The aforesaid poem. “Shining for Jesus.” Verses addressed to my nieces and nephews at Winterdyne. “New Year's Wishes,” by Caswell's request, for a very pretty card. These are all written, and copied, and done with. Next week, D.V., I set about what I have long wanted to do: “Little pillows,” thirty-one short papers as a little book for children of, say, twelve years old; a short, easily recollected text, to go to sleep upon for each night of the month, with a page or two of simple practical thoughts about it, such as a little girl might read every night while having her hair brushed. I think this will take me about a fortnight to write and arrange for press; adding probably a verse or two of a hymn at the end of each of the little papers. There are lots of little monthly morning and evening books for grown up people, but I don't know of one for children except those containing [2O MEMORALS OF F. R. H. only texts, I dare say I shall get in somehow three other little poems that want writing (being on the simmer): “The Splendour of God's Will,” “The good Master,” and (don't be startled at the transition) “Play- things;” also “Johann von Allmen,” a little article for the Dayspring. I can clear off things easily here, especially through not having so many letters. If I could manage three months every year in a Swiss or Welsh valley, I should keep my printer going. ORMONT DESSUs, September 29, 1874. DEAREST MOTHER,- I don't know whether there is enough of interest for a final circular. Not being sure of your address, the last went to Maria. . . . The last week at the Ormont Dessus the weather was perfect, and, without being un- pleasantly hot, was warm enough for sitting out not merely in the sunshine but in the moonlight too. Sunday was one of the most exquisite days imaginable, brilliantly clear, the autumn tints throwing in touches of crimson and gold in splendid contrast to the pine woods, and (what is so rare in Switzerland) the noon and afternoon as glowing as the morning, everything vivid all day. At the little French service I soon saw we had “somebody” in the pulpit, and it was M. de Pressensé, who is, I have been told, one of the first French orators. His sermon was both eloquent and good. The people sing beautifully, a downright treat, in German choral style as to music, slow rich harmonies that bear dwelling on ; one tune was Cassel, No. 190 in “Havergal's Psalmody.” It was such sweet singing, every one keeping to cres, and dim., neither instrument nor apparently any stated choir, but all the parts correctly sung by the congregation of peasants. . . . I have finished not only “Little Pillows,” but a little companion to it for morning use, “Morning Bells ;” both manuscripts are ready for press. I do not think it is nearly so easy to write for children as for adults; constantly I refrained from what I would WORK" AAWD RAEST. - | 2 | most like to say about the texts, because it would not be simple enough for the little ones. I have purposely avoided any stories or anecdotes, lest children should skim the book through in search of them, instead of reading them night and morning steadily. At least I know that is what I should have done ! I do so hope these books will be really helpful to some of His little ones. . . . I am so sorry that I shall not see Miss - Whately at Montreux; I have a nice letter from her; she has been delayed in England. You ask me how I am, dearest mother. Very well indeed; those pleasant mountain ascents with Constance were delightful. She is a first-rate Alpinist, and we both enjoyed getting over crevasses and glissading. Since then I have done nothing to tire myself, and in every way have set health first; I do wish to be very prudent, only by prudence I don’t mean idleness. I sought to gain health and strength, that I might use it on my return. . . . I had a short conversation with two respectable men from West Bromwich, who had been for a Swiss holiday with Cook's tickets. They applied to me to interpret something for them, and this led to a little talk which drifted as usual into better things, and I found a decided response. I had alluded to Christ's finished work for us, when one of them answered quietly, “Yes, it's a transfer, that’s the word. The last three days I have had that word always on my mind; that's just what it is, c a transfer, He takes our sins and makes over to us His righteousness.” Then he told me that he had met on the Rigi an invalid Irish clergyman, who seemed full of that one thing; that he began telling him of Christ's finished work and he ended with it, “And I never saw it so clearly before, though I’ve been, so to say, looking about for it this long time ; it was worth all my journey to get hold of this truth. It seemed curious that such an excellent clergyman should be obliged to give up his living from ilk health and ordered abroad; but he was sowing the seed in fifty places instead of one. Yes, that great transfer | It's blessed ''' - I22 MEMORIAA.S OF AZ. K. F.