TIM BOB BIN'S
(ASHLRE DIALECT:
-
AND
--------------
RRN DERED INTELLIGIBLE To genera. READERS BY A LITERAL
Interpretatios, AN p THE onsolete WORDS EXPLAINED
BY QUOTATIONS FROM THE MOST EARLY of
The ENGLISH AUTHORS.
LO N DO N :
HENRY WASHBOURNE, NEW BRIDGE STREET,
BLACKFRIARS.
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INTRODUCTION.
THE two County Palatines of Lancaster
and Chester being, from a remote period,
separate jurisdictions from the remaining
counties, as “Principalities in them-
selves,” a pride of such distinction has
induced the inhabitants to keep, also,
within themselves; not even mixing in
marriage with those of other districts; as
the old Cheshire adage evinces, “it is better
to marry over the miacen (within their own
immediate precincts) than over the moor,”
—that is, your neighbour's daughter ra-
ther than a stranger: so that the manners,



iy INTRODUCTION.
customs, and old English language in these
counties, have experienced less changes
"- - - w
and innovations than in most other parts
of England.
Having had occasion, in the course
of interpreting the following pages, to
refer to the ancient English composi-
tions, such as Chaucer, Wicliffe, other
poets, historians, &c., I have been led
almost to conclude that the present
“ LAN CASHIRE DIALECT’’ was the univer-
sal language of the earliest days of Eng-
-
land ; and has induced me to select in-
stances from such authors, (to confirm, in
some measure, that opinion,) down to the
days of Dryden; preserving an alphabet-
ical arrangement, by the way of reference
to the passages in the Dialect, wherever
an authority could be obtained.



INTRODUCTION. V
To those who could understand the
idiom of this composition, its genuine
humour and drollery have afforded much
amusement ; and many have regretted
they could not enter into the spirit of the
work for want of such “humble know-
ledge;”—to supply this the present work is
undertaken. But even this translation, like
all others, must fall far short of the ori-
ginal; yet, if the “march of intellect”
keeps its pace, the present work may
prove an useful document to perpetuate
the genuine English Provincial Dialect.


- ( vii )
IN Aikin's History of Manchester a short Biogra-
phical Sketch is given of the Author of this work;
but neither when he was born, nor when he died,
and leaving doubtful the place of his birth—War-
rington and Mottram, in Lancashire, contending
for that distinction: but in referring to an edition
of his works and correspondence, published at
Rochdale, in 1819, I find he was born Decem-
ber 16, 1708.
His father, Mr. Collier, being a clergyman,
gave him an education which enabled him to
leave the loom, with which he was disgusted, and
follow the profession of a schoolmaster in a small
establishment at Rochdale, in his own county.
Mr. John Collier, alias Tim Bobbin, by which
appellation he is much better known, possessed a
versatility of talent which seldom centres in one
individual, being a humorous poet, an excellent
caricaturist, both of which his publications show,
a painter, a scientific musician, and his pencil,
his brush, and his pen, made his name and fame



( viii ) --
resound at home and through the adjoining dis-
tricts of York and Chester. We are given to
understand he died at the advanced age of near
eighty years, July, 14, 1786; and his mental
powers, conviviality, and humour, for which he
was much esteemed, were his good companions
to the last.


LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
WILLAGE EVENTS
-
SCENE I.
First Coming into Life.
—º-
Enter TUMMUs and MEARy.
Tum. ODDs me, Meary whooa the dickons
wou'd o thowt o’leeting othee here so soyne this
morning : Where has to bin? Theawºrt aw on
a swat, I think; for theaw looks primely.
Mea. Beleemy, Tummus, I welly lost my wynt;
for I've had sitch o'traunce this morning as eh
neer had emeh live: for Iwent to Jone's o’Harry's
o’ lung Jone’s, for’t borrow their thible, to stur th’
furmetry weh, an his wife had lent it to Bet o’my
gronny's: so I skeawrt eend-wey, an’ when eh
coom there, hoo'd lent it Kester o'Dick's, an the
dule steawnd 'im for a brindl’t cur, he'd mede it
intº shoon pegs Neaw wou'd naw sitch o moon-
shine traunce potter any body's plucks?



VILLAGE EVENTS.
SCENE I.
First Coming into Life.
–6–
Enter THOMAS and MARY,
º
Tho. Bless me! Mary, who the deuce would
have thought of finding thee here so soon this
morning 7 where hast thou been 7–thou art all in
a sweat, I think, for thou looks primely.
Mary. Believe me, Thomas, I have nearly lost
my wind; for Ihave had such a run this morning, as
I never had in my life; for I went to John Harris,
at Long Jones's, for to borrow their staff, to stir
the furmety with, and his wife had lent it to Bet at
my grandmother's: so I went straight forward, and
when I came there, she had lent it to Dick the
Cobbler; and, the devil take him for an ill-natured
eur, he had made it into shoe-pegs! Now, would
not such a moonshine tramp bother any body's wits ?














B 2
4. THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. Mark whot e tell the Meary; for I think
iunger ot folk liv'n anºth’ moor mischoances they
han.
Mea. Not awlus o goddil. But whot meys o't
’sowgh, on seem so dane-kest? For I con tell o'
I’d fene see o'wick an hearty.
Tum. Whick an hearty, too ! oddzo, but I con
tell the whot, it's moor in bargain ot Im oather wick
or hearty, for 'twur seign peawnd tº a tuppunny
jannock, I'd bin os deedd os o dur nele be this
awer ; for the last oandurth boh one me measter
had lik’t okillt meh; on just neaw, os sure os
thee and me are stonning here, I'm actilly running
meh country. - -
Mea. Why, whot's bin the matter, hanney fawn -
eawt withur measter 7 - -
Than. Whot there’s bin moort’ do in a gonnort
muck, I'll uphowd teyl—For, whot dust think?
both tother day boh yusterday, huz lads moot'n.
ha’ o bit on o hallidey (becose it wurth Circum-
cision onner Ledey, I believe), yet we munt do some
odds-on-eends; on I munt oather breedd mowdy-
warp-holes or gut’ Ratchdaw weh o keaw on o
why-kawve—neaw, loothy Meary, I’r lither ; on
had o mind on o jawnt : so I donn d meh sundey
jump o top o meh singlet, on wou'd goa with keaw

THE INTERPRETATION. 5
Tho. Mark what I tell thee, Mary; for I think
the longer that folks live, the more mischances
they have.
Mary. Not always, God willing.—But, what
makes thee sigh so, and seem so downcast? For
I can tell you, I would fain see you alive and
hearty, too
Tho, Alive and hearty, tool oddzooks but I
can tell thee what, it's more than the bargain I am
either alive or hearty, for it was seven pound to a
two-penny loaf, I’d been as dead as a door-mail by
this hour; for the last evening but one, my master
had like to have killed me ; and just now, as thou
art standing there, I’m actually running my country!
Mary. What's been the matter—hast thou
fallen out with thy master 7
Tho. What! why there's been more to do in a
gander's dung, I’ll assure thee! For, what dost
think?—But the other day but yesterdey, we lads
might have a bit of a holyday (because it was the
Circumcision of our Lady, I believe), yet we must
do some odds-and-ends; and I must either spread
in the fields mole-hillocks, or go to Rochdale with
a cow and a sucking-calf—now, lookye, Mary, I
was idle, and had a mind of a jaunt: so I put
my Sunday coat over my woollen waistcoat, and
º
º


6 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
on th’ kawve ; and the dule tey aw bad luck far
me, far eawer bitch Nip went winmey, on that
mede ill wurr.
Mea. I connaw gawm heavy that coud mey ill
luck, Tummus. -
Tum. Now, nor no mon elze till they known ;
boh here’s a fine droy canking pleck under this
thurn, let's keawer us deawn oth yeoarth obit, on
I’ll tell the aw heaW’t wur.
Mea. Wehaw meh heart, for meh deme's gon
fro whoam, on hoo'll naw cum ogen till bagging-
time.
Tum. Whau, os I’r telling the, I’d gut Ratch-
daw: so I geet up be strike o dey, on seet eawt;
on went ogreath tilly welly coom within a mile oth
teawn; when, os the dule woud height, o tit wur
stanning ot an eleheawse dur; on me kawve (the
dule bore eawt it een for meh) took th’ tit for it
mother, on would need seawk her: on I believe
th’ foolish tooad of a tit took th’ kawve far hur
cowt, hoo whinnit so when hoo saigh it; boh wen
hoo feld it seawke, hoo up with ºur hough on kilt
meh kawve os deedd os o mit !
Mea. E Lord;—whot otrick wur that
Tum. Trick odds flesh sitch o trick wur
newer plede eh Englondshair. -
º
*



THE INTERPRETATION, 7
would go with the cow and the calf; and the
* deuce take all bad luck for me, for our bitch, Nip,
went with me, and that made ill worse.
Mary. I cannot guess how that could make ill
luck, Thomas.
Tho. No, nor any man else till they know—
but here's a fine dry resting-place under this thorn;
let us sit down on the earth a bit, and I’ll tell thee
all about it.
Mary. With all my heart; for my mistress is
gone from home, and she'll not come again till
baiting-time.
Tho. Well, as I was telling thee, I’d go to
Rochdale, so I got up by strike of day, and set
out; and went well till I came within a mile of the
town; when, as if the devil would have it, a mare
was standing at the ale-house door; and my calf
(the devil bore out its eyes for me) took the mare
for its mother, and would needs suck her l and I
believe the foolish toad of a tit took the calf for.
her colt, she neighed so when she saw it; but,
when she felt it suck, she up with her hoof, and
killed my calf as dead as a nit!
Mary. Ey, Lord;—what a trick was that!
Tho. Trick! oddsflesh, such a trick was never
played in Englandshire -






















8 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Mea. Why, hark ye, Tummus, whot cudney doo
weet? yoad'n be quite broken
Tum. Doo! what cou’d eh do? 'sflesh in thad
bin kilt greadly, twou’d ha bin os good veeol os
e'er deed on a thwittle ; for me measter mood ha
had seignteen shillings on susepence for’t th' year-
durth ofcre.
Mea. On didney leedfit ith’ lone?
Tum. Ne, Meary; I’r naw sitch a gawby os tat
coom too, noather: for, as luck wou’d height, o
butcher wur ith elehouse, on he coom eawt when
he heard meh kawve bah. Boh estid o being
sooary, when he saigh it sprawling oth yeorth, th’
fly'ring karron seet up o gurd o leaWghing, on
cou’d for shawm tell meh he’d berry it meh for a
pint oele.
Mea. Whau, that wur pratty cheap; for Dicky
o’ Will’s o'Jone’s o' Sam’s towd me, at he berrit
o chilt tother dey of Ratchdaw, on he pede Jo.
Green o groat for a greave no bigger in ophip-
punny trunk.
Tum. Whau, that moot be: but I’d naw geet
in : for I borrot a shoo, on wou'd berrit meh selm.
I’r thrunk shoaving it in, when a thowt coom intº
meh noddle, of th’ hoyde cou’d be no war; so I’d
flee it; but the dule o thwittle wurt be leet on


THE INTERPRETATION. 9
Mary, Why, hark ye, Thomas, what could you
do with it? you’d be quite broken 1.
Tho. Do! what could I do? 'sflesh! had it been
killed kindly, 'twould have been as good veal as
ever died under a butcher's knife; for my master
might have had seventeen shillings and sixpence
for it the morning before.
Mary. And did you leave it in the lane :
Tho. No, Mary; I am not such a fool as that
comes to neither : for as luck would have it, a
butcher was in the alehouse, and he came out
when he heard my calf bleet. But instead of
being sorry, when he saw it sprawling on the
earth, the fleering fellow set up a burst of laughing,
and could for shame tell me he'd bury it for a pint
of ale.
Mary. Why, that was pretty cheap; for Dicky
o'Will's o'Jone’s o'Sam's told me, that he buried
a child the other day at Rochdale, and he paid
Joe Green (the sexton) a groat for a grave no
bigger than a fivepenny trunk.
Tºp. Well, that might be : but I’d not give it
him : for I borrowed a shovel, and would bury it
myself. I was just shoving it in, when a thought
came into my noddle, that the hide could be no
worse, so I’d flee it; but the deuce a knife could

B 5
10 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
boºth' butcher's, on the spoytfoo tike wou'd naw
leeond it me: neaw, Meary, what cou’d onny
mon doo?
Mea. Doo! I'st o gon stark woode.
Tum. I believe ot wou’d, or onney mon elze;
boh that wou'd doo nowt eb mykese: so Ibargint
with th' rascot; he'ur to tyth' hoyde grooing toth'
carcuss, on geh meh throtten pence: so I geet th’
brass, on went endway with keaw.
Mea. Neaw meh mind misgives meh otyooar’m
gooing a sleeveless arnt; on at felly wou’d naw
tak'th kah bateth' kawve.
Tum. Uddzo, Meary! theaw geawses within two
tumbles of a leavse; for it wur lung, on lunger,
ofore eh wou'd : boh when I towd him heavt. wur
knock oth sow with a tit coak’n os he coom, on
that he moot order weh meh Measter obeawt it,
he took her of lunglength: then I went on bowt
two peawnd o sawt, on on eawnce of black pepper
for eawr fok, on went toart whoam ogen
Mea. With o fearfoo heyvy heart, I’ll up-
howd'o.
Tum. Eigh, eigh, that's true—boh whottle to
sey when ot eh tell the he ne'er berrit kawvel boh

THE INTERPRETATION. I
be lighted on but the butcher's, and the spiteful
tike wouldn't lend it me ! Now, Mary, what could
any man do?
Mary. Do! I’d have gone stark mad.
Tho. (Solemnly.) I believe you would, or any
man else! but that would do nothing in my case :
so I bargained with the rascal; he was to take the
hide growing to the carcass, and give me thirteen-
pence: so I got the brass, and went away with
the cow.
Mary. Now my mind misgives me that you’re
going a sleeveless errand; and that the fellow
would not take the cow without the calf.
Tho. Adzooks, Mary, thou guesses within two
tumbles of a louse; for it was long and longer be-
fore he would : but when I told him how it was
knocked in the head with a tit’s shoe as I came,
and that he might order with my master about it,
he took her at long-length: then I went and bought
two pounds of salt and an ounce of black pepper
for our folks, and went towards home again.
Mary. With a fearful heavy heart, I’ll uphold
you.
Tho. Aye, aye, that's true—but what will you
say when I tell you he never buried the calf, but



12 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
sowd it et Owdum that oandurth, for two pence
haw penny opeawnd!
Mea. Sey! why be meh troth it wurfere cheeot-
ing; but it’s meet like their rascotly tricks ; for
there’s not an honest booan ith hoyde o newer o
greasy tyke on um aw.
Tum. Indeed, Meary, I’m eh thy mind; for it
wur reet rank; boh I think eh meh guts of rascots
ith ward ar os thick as wasps in o hummo-bee-
neeSt. - -

THE INTERPRETATION. 13
sold her at Oldham that morning, for twopence
halfpenny a pound !
Mary. Say! why by my troth it was fair cheat-
ing; but it’s just like their rascally tricks; for
there’s not an honest bone in the hide of never a
greasy tike in 'em all.
Tho. Indeed, Mary, I am of thy mind; for it
was right wrong; but I think in my guts, that
rascals in the world are as thick as wasps in a
humble-bee’s nest.



14
SCENE HI.
How to catch an Owl
–4-
-
TUMMUs and MEARY.
Mea. Its not tell, buh I'st marvil straungely an
ye leet on a wur kneave in this.
Tum. Alack a dey theaw knows boh little oth
matter, boh theawst hear: I’d naw gett’n forrud,
back ogen, oboon a mile or so, of re eh saigh o
parcel o lads on hobbletyhoys, as thrunk as
Thrap-wife : when ot he geet too um, I cou’d
naw gawm what tearn obeawt; for two on um
carrito steeigh other shilders, onother had o rid-
dle in his hont, on Hal o'Nab's ith Midge lone
had his knockus lapt in his barmskin: awth rest
on um had hoyts, or lung kibhoes, like swinging
sticks or raddlings.
Mea, Ith’ neme o' Katty, whot wurn the for?
Tum. Nowt ots awt, theaw mey be sure, if
that hawmpoing tyke Hal wus weh um: neaw
theaw mun know, ot one neet last shearing-time,


SCENE II.
How to catch an Owl.
-º-
THOMAS and MARy.
Mary. I can Not tell, but I marvel strangely
that you'll meet with a worse knave than this.
Tho. Alack-a-day! thou knows but little of the
matter, but thou’lst hear: I had gotten forward
above a mile or so, before I saw a parcel of lads,
or hobbledehoys, as thick as “Thrap's wife;” when
that I got to them, I could not guess what they
were about, for two of them carried a ladder on
their shoulders, another had a riddle in his hand,
and Hal at Nab's in the Midge Lane had his
hands lapt in his apron; all the rest of 'em had
sticks or long poles, like swinging sticks or rods.
Mary. In the name of Katty, what were that
for 2
Tho. Nought that's good, thou may’st be sure,
if that hampering lad Hal was with 'em. Now
thou must know, that one night last shearing-time,

16 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
when Jone's o' Harry's geete thear churn, this
seme scap-gallows wur taen eh ther pleawmtree;
on Wur en sitch o flunter eh getting deawn ogen,
ot he fell, on broke th’ collar-boan on his leg.
Mea. O wrang joyt, hong im I know him weel
enough, for th’ last great snow he'ur for honging
o hare e some hure gillers; on throttle eaw’r pool
Teawzer in o clewkin-grin,
Tum. The vara seme; so I asht him what tearn
far? Why, sed he, ween meet neaw seen on ewl
fly thro’ yon leavp-hoyl into th’ leath, on we'er
gooing tey hur: come, Tum, sed he, egad, iftle
geaw with us, theawst see sitch gam os tha newer
saigh eh the live: beside theawst howd the riddle.
—Sed I, I know naw what to meeons be howd-
ingth riddle, boh I’ll geaw we aw meh heart intle
teytch me—I con show the in a crack, sed he.
—So owey we went, on begun o cromming oth
leavp-hoyles, on th’ sliſters ith leath woughs full
o awts ; then we reeart th' steeigh sawfly ogen th’
wough under th’ eawl hoyle. Neaw, lads, sed
Hal, mind yer hits: I’ll lap meh honds eh meh
barmskin ot hoo cannow scrat meh when ot eh
tak’ ur ith hoyle: Tum o' Williams mun clime
th: steeigh, thrutch'd th' strey eawt oth leavp
hoyle, on howd the riddle cloyse on't. Awth'


THE INTERPRETATION. 17 -
when John at Harry's got their churn, this same
scape-gallows was taken in their plum-tree, and
was in such a fluster in getting down again, that -
he fell, and broke the collar-bone of his leg!
Mary. A wrong joint, hang him I know him
f
well enough, for the last great snow he was for
- hanging a hare in some hare-gillers, and throttled
| our poor Towzer in a worsted gin.
| Tho. The very same; so I asked him what they
|- - were about? Why, said he, we've just now seen
an owl fly through the loophole into the barn, and
we are going to take her: come, Tom, said he,
- egad, if thou’lt go with us, thou’lt see such fun as
- thou never saw in thy life: besides, thou’lt hold
the riddle.—Said I, I know not what thou means
| by “holding the riddle,” but I'll go with thee with
all my heart, if thou’lt teach me.--I can show
thee in a crack, said he. So away we went, and
began a cramming of the loopholes and crevices
- in the barn full of straw ; then we reared the lad-
der softly against the wall, under the owl-hole.
Now, lads, said Hal, mind your hits: I’ll wrap
.
my hands in my apron, that she cannot scratch
me, when that I take her in the hole: Tom Wil-
liams must climb the ladder, and push the straw
out of the loophole, and hold the riddle close upon
-

















18 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT-
rest mun be powlerers, on flay hur into’t.—So
owey they seete into th’ leath, on toynt dur; on
I—
Mea. Why neaw, I’ll be far, if I’d naw rether
ha seent in o puppy-show.
Tum. Good lorjus, Meary theawrt so hasty:
so I clum th’ steeigh in o snift, shoavt th' awts
eawt, on smakt me riddle oth’ hoyle : I’d no
soyner done sooa, but I heard one on um Sey—
see o see o, hoos teear ! Shu, sed one ; shu, sed
another.—Then they aw begun o hallowing on
whooping like hey-go-mad. I thowtit wer rear'st
spooart ot ewer mortal mon saigh; so I gran,
on I thrutcht, till meh arms wartcht ogen; still
they kept shuing, on powlering ith leath; on then
I thowt I felt summot nudge th' steeigh—I lookt
deawn, an there were an owd soo bizzy scratting
o one o'th’ strines.—'Sflesh, thinks I tº
meh seln, hool ha me deawn eend neaw:—just
then I thowt I heard th’ eawlcome into the hoyle;
on presently summot come with a greyt flusk thro'
th’ riddle.
Mea. Odds mine ! on didney let hur gooa, or
yo took’m hur !
hur
Tum. Took'n hur! ney, Meary; on eawl's naw
so sooyne tean: boh I con hardly tell the, I’m

THE INTERPRETATION. 19
it. All the rest must be pollerers, and frighten
her into it.—So away they set into the barn; and
shut the door, and I–
Mary. Why now, I’ll be far enough, if I’d not
rather have seen it than a puppet-show ! -
Tho. Good gracious, Mary! thou’rt so hasty :
so I climbed the ladder in a moment, and smacked
the riddle on the hole: I’d no sooner done so, but
I heard one of them say—see her, see her, she's
there ! Hush, said one ; shu, said another.-
Then they all began a hallooing and whooping,
like all going mad. I thought it was the rarest
sport that ever mortal man saw so I grinned, and
I pushed till my arms ached again; still they kept
shouting and pollering in the barn; and then I
thought I felt something push at the ladder—I
looked down, and there was an old sow busy
scratching herself against one of the sides. 'Sflesh!
thinks I to myself, she’ll have me down e'en now ;
—just then, I thought I heard the owl come into
the hole; and presently something came with a
great rush through the riddle.
Mary. Dear me! and did you let her go, or
you took her ?
Tho. Took her 1 nay, Mary, an owl is not so
soon taken : but I can hardly tell thee, I’m so




20 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
so waughish—for I’m ready’t cowk'n with th’
thowts ont;-there wur non tº tey, Meary.
Mea. What, no eawl?
Tum. Now, now—not teear; it wus nowt oth’
warldo God boh arron owd lant ot teyd'n mede
war weh loasing ther breeches in't: on that
hodge-podge coom eh me fease weh sitch o bor,
ôt osumheaw it mede meh meazy, on I feel off
th’ steeigh: boh moor be choance thin onney
good luck, I leet disactly oth soo wey sitch o
soltch, ot I think eh meh guts,ot hoor booath wur
flay’d on hurt in I wur.
Mea. E lord whot owofoo faw had'n yo!
Tum. Eigh, faw eigh; for I thowt I’d brok’m
, boh it wur better
in lickly; for I’d naw hurt boh th' tone theawm
th’ crupper-booan omeh
stunnisht, on th’ skin bruzz'd off the whirlbooan
o meh knee, ot mede meh thawmpoo o bit.
Mea. Awt upon um, whot unmannerly powse-
ments I’st obin stark-giddy at um, on ha raddlt
ther booans.
Tum. I’r os woode os teaw cou’d be, or onny
mon elze, boh theaw knows ev'ry mon’s not a
witch: heaweer I hawmpo’t rawnd th’ leath fort'
snap some oth bulloking basturts; boh none
cou’d eh leet on, for they'rn aw cropp'n into th’
THE INTERPRETATION. 2I
*
faintish—for I’m ready to be sick with the
thoughts of it—there were none to take, Mary
Mary. What! no owl º,
Tom. No 1 no! not there; it was nothing in the
world of God but arrant old lant, which they had
made warm with opening their breeches into it,
and that hodge-podge came in my face with such
a force, that somehow it made me mazy, and I
fell off the ladder: but, more by chance than any
good luck, I lighted exactly on the sow, with such
a thawck, that I think in my guts she was worse
frightened and hurt than I was. -
Mary, Eh Lord ' what a woeful fall had you !
Tho. Ay! fall! ay! for I thought I’d broken
the crupper-bone of my bottom; but it was better
than I expected, for I’d no hurt but one thumb
sprained and the skin bruised of the round bone
of my knee, that made me limp a bit.
Mary. Out upon them what unmannerly
rubbish I should have been stark mad at
them and have thrashed their bones.
Tho. I was as mad as thou could be, or any
man else, but thou knows every man is not a
witch : but however I limped round the barn, for
to catch some of the blackguard bastards; but
none could I fall on, for they were all crept into the



22 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
leath; on th’ durs os sefe os Beest’m Castle: boh
they med'n me’t hear, um efeath; far thearºn aw
wherrying on leavghing, whooping on sheawting,
like maddlocks ot ther new tean eawl, os teh
cawdºn meh. Wuns, Meary 1 in I’d had foyar I'st
o set th’ how leath on o halliblash in I’d deed for't;
boh then th’soo kept sitch o shrikeing reeking
din, os if hur back wur eteaw eh two spots, ot I
durst stey no lunger for fear o sumbody cumming,
on meying me necessary too hur deedth: so I
scamspoot owey as hard os eh cou’d pinn, on ran
o mile eh that pickle ofcre eh ga o gleten ben-
haund meh; then I leep o'er oryzºn hedge, on os
o rindle o wetur wur wheem, I washt aw meh
clooas, till it coom to meh hure: on aw little
enough too; for I think eh meh guts I'st stink like
a foomurt while meh neme's Tum.
Mea. Neaw, een be meh troath ! I thowt ye
savort’n feearfoo strung on o yarb: boh when aw’s
done, Tummus, this killing oth kawve, on eawl-
catching, wur non awlung o Nip.
Tum. Odds heart, howd teh tung, Meary; far
I oather angurt some he witch, or the dule threw
his club o'er meh that morning when eh geete up ;
far misfartins coom on me os thickos leet.



THE INTERPRETATION. 23
barn, and the door as fast as “Beeston Castle:”*but
they made me hear 'em, i'faith, for they were all re-
joicing and laughing; whooping and shouting like
mad folks, at their new-taken owl, as they called
me 1–Zounds, Mary, had I had fire, I’d have set
the barn in a blaze, if I’d died for it; but then the
sow kept such a shrieking, squealing noise, as if
her back was in two pieces, that I durst stay no
longer, for fear of somebody coming, and making
me accessary to her death; so I scampered away,
as hard as I could run, a mile in that pickle before
I got one look behind me; then I leaped over a
rising hedge, and as a gutter of water was near, I
washed all my clothes, till it came to my hair; and
all little enough too, for I think in my heart Ishall
stink like a polecat whilst my name's Tom
| - Mary. Now, even by my troth ! I thought thou
savoured fearful strong of an herb.: but when all's
. done, Thomas, this killing of the calf and owl-
i. catching was not all along of Nip 2 -
. Tom. Dear heart, hold thy tongue, Mary; for I
had vexed either some he-witch, or the devil threw
his club over me that morning when I got up, for
- misfortunes came on me as thick as lightning.
* On an elevated rock near Chester.





24
SCENE III.
April Fool.
—º-
TUMMUs and MEARY.
Mea. UDDZLUD ! non thro’ Nip, o Goddill
Tum. Thro' Nip, yigh thro' Nip: on Iwud hur
meek had bin brock’n en neen spots, wheen hoo’r
whelpt far me, (God fargi meh; the deawmp
cretur does no hurt, noather,) far I’d naw greadly
washt on fettl’t meh, on lipp'n into th’ lone ogen,
boh I met a fattish dowing felly in o blackish
wigg ; on he stoode on glooart ot Nip: ko he,
onnest mon, wilt sell the dog? Sed I, meh dog's
o bitch, on so’s ne'er odogith teawn : for be meh
troath, Meary, I’r os cross os of t.
Mea. Odd, boh yoarn bobbersome, on awnsurt
him awvishly too-to.
Tum. Well, boh dog or bitch, sedi’ felly, if
I'd known on hur three days sin, I’d o gen the
twenty shilling far hur, for I see hoos o reet
stawnch bandyhewit, on there’s o gentlemon ot



( 25 )
SCENE III.
The First of April.
–0-
THOMAS and MARY.
Mary. ODSBLooD not through Nip, egad!
Tho. Through Nip !—ay, through Nip: and I
would her neck had been broken in nine places
when she was whelped for me (God forgive me,
the dumb creature does not hurt neither), for I
had not decently washed and dressed, and limped
into the lane again, but I met a fattish-looking
fellow in a blackish wig; and he stood and stared
at Nip: quoth he, honest man, wilt thou sell thy
dog º Said I, my dog's a bitch, and so is never a
dog in the town : for, by my troth, Mary, I was as
cross as two sticks.
Mary. Egad! but you were bobbersome, and
answered roughly too much.
Tho. But, dog or bitch, said the fellow, if I
had known of her three days since, I'd have got
thee twenty shillings for her, for I see she's a right
C


26 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT
wooans abeawt three mile off, ot wants one meet
neaw. Neaw, Meary, to tell the true, I’d o mind
tº cheeot (God forgiº meh) on sell immeh sheep-
cur for o bandyhewit, tho, I no moor knew in th’
mon ith moon whot a bandyhewit wur.* Whaw,
sed I, hoose primely bred; for hur moother coom
fro Lunnun, tho' hoor whelpt ot meh master's ; on
tho' hoos os good os onny eh Englandshiar, I'll
sell hur if meh price come.
Mea, Well done, Tummus / whot sedeh, then 7
Tum. Wau, ko he, whot dust ax for hur ! Hoos
worth a gimny on o hawve o gowd, sed I; boh o
ginny I’ll ha far hur: kohe, I gem o ginny far
mine, on I’d rether ha thine be o creawn; boh iftle
gooa to justice—justice hum—le me see.—But I
freat'n heavy he het (boh o greyte matter on im,
far I think he's piece on o rascot, as weelost rest)
he'll be fene o'th bargin.
Mea. That wur clever, too-to; wur it maw’
Tum. Yigh, meeterly. Then I asht im whot
wey he munt gooa On he towd meh; on o wey
I seete, weh meh heart asleet os obit on o flaight;
* A pass-name for a dog, when sport is to be made with
his master on April-fools-day, &c.


THE INTERPRETATION. 27
staunch bandyhewit, and there’s a gentleman that
lives about three miles off, that wants one just now.
Now, Mary, to tell the truth, I’d a mind to cheat
(God forgive me!) and sell him my sheep-cur for
a bandyhewit; though I no more knew than the
man in the moon what a bandyhewit was.” Why,
said I, she's primely bred, for her mother came
from London, though she was whelpt at my mas-
ter's; and, though she’s as good as any in England-
shire, I’ll sell her if my price comes.
Mary. Well done, Thomas what said he, then?
Tho. Why, quoth he, what dost ask for her ?
She's worth a guinea and a half in gold, said I ;
but a guinea I’ll have for her: quoth he, I gave a
guinea for mine, but I would rather have thine by
a crown ; but, if thou’lf go to the justice—justice,
hum—let me see.—But I forget how he's named
(but a great matter on him, for I think he's a piece
of a rascal as well as the rest) he'll be glad of the
bargain.
Mary. That was clever, indeed, was it not ?
Tho. Ay, middling. Then I asked him what
way I must go? And he told me; and away I set
with my heart aslight as a feather: and carried Nip
* A name given to any dog in Lancashire, when persons
intend to make sport with his master. Wide Glossary.
--


C 2
28 - THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
on carrit Nip under meh arm; for neaw theaw
mun underston I'r feear o loysing hur; ne'er
deawting I cou’d be roytch enough tº pay meh
master for th’ kawve, an ha summot tº spere.
Mea. Odds-fish boh that wur breve; yoarn
eh no ill kele neaw, Tummus.
Tum. Whau, boh theawst hear : it wur o dree
wey too-to ; heave’er Igeete there by three o'clock;
on ofcre eh opp'nt dur, I covert Nip with th’
cleaWt ot eh droy me nese weh, tº let him see heavy
I stooart hur. Then I opp’nt dur; on who te
dule dust think, boh three littletyney bandyhewits,
os I thowt then, coom weawghing os if th’ little
rott’ns would ha worrit meh, on after that swollut
me whick. Then there coom o fine freshcullert
wommon of keckt as stiff as if hood swallut a
poker, on I took hur for o hoor justice, hoor so
meety fine; for I heard Rotchet o'Jack's o' Yem's
tell meh measter, that th” hoo justices awlus did
mooast o' th' wark. Heawe'er, I axt her if Mr.
Justice wur o whoam ; hoo cou’d naw oppºn hur
meawth tº sey eigh, or now ; boh simpurt on sed
iss (the dickons iss'ur, on him, too). Sed I, I
wudidd’n tell him I’d fene speyk too 'im.
Mea. Odd, boh yoar'n bowd; I'st o bin tim-
mersome —but let's know heaw ye went'n on.

THE INTERPRETATION. 29
under my arm ; for now thou must understand I
was afraid of losing her, ne’er doubting but I
should be rich enough to pay my master for the
calf, and have somewhat to spare.
Mary. Odds-fish but that was brave; you are
in no ill luck now, Thomas.
Tho. But thoul'st hear: it was a weary way to
it; however, I got there by three o'clock; and
before I opened the door I covered Nip with the
rag I dry my nose with, to let him see how I stored
her. Then I opened the door, and what the deuce
dost think, but three little tiny bandyhewits, as I
thought them, came barking as if the little stinkers
would have worried me, and, after that, swallowed
me alive. Then there came a fine fresh-coloured
woman, as stood as stiff as if she’d swallowed a
poker, and I took her for the she-justice, she was
so mighty fine; for I heard Roger Jackson tell my
master, that the she justices always did most of
the work. However, I ask’d her, if Mr. Justice
was at home; she could not open her mouth to
say aye or no, but simpered and said, Yes / (the
dickens yes her, and him, too). Said I, I would
you to tell him I would fain speak to him.
Mary. Egad, but you was bold; I should have
been timorous; but let's know how you went on.


30 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. Whau, weell enough, for theaw mey nip
on cheeotos ill os one other clarks, on they’m naw
meddle with the ; boh theaw munnaw frump, nor
teeos um, for they hat'n to be vext.
Mea. Boh heavy went'n ye on ? Wurth’ justice
o whoam 7
Tum. Eigh, on coom snap, on axt meh whot he
wantut? Whau, sed I, I’ve ovarra fine bandy-
hewitt'sell, on I hear yo want'n one, sur: humph,
sed he—a bandyhewit—prethee, let's look at.
Yigh, said I; on I pood th’ cleavt fro off on hur,
stroakt hur deawn th' back, on sed, hoos os fine o
bandyhewit os ewer run of)re o tele.
Mea. Well done, Tummust yo cud'n naw mend
fat, in eh had ºn it tº doo ogen: boh yo’re fit tº gooa -
eawt efeath. - -
Tum. Hoos a fine on, indeed, sed the justice;
on its o theawson pities boh I'd known on hur
yusterday: for of:lly coom, on I bown one naw
so good os this by hoave o ginny; on I'll uphowd-
tey theawºll tey oginny for this. On that I'll
hav’ in eh cou’d leet on a chapmon, sed I. Hoos
oytchly worth it, sed he, on I think I conteſſ
thee whear theaw map part with hur, if he be not
fittutawready. -
Mea. Odds-like, boh that wur o good neatert
justice, wur he naw


THE INTERPRETATION. 31
Tho. Why, well enough, for they may nip and
cheat as bad as any other clerks, and they’ll not
meddle with thee; but thou must not cross nor
tease them, for they ar’nt to be vexed.
Mary. But how went you on? Was the justice
at home
Tho. Ay, and came slap, and asked me what I
Wanted! Why, said I, I’ve a very fine bandy-,
hewit to sell, and I hear that you want one, sir!
Humph said he-a bandyhewit? pritheelet's look
at it. Ay, said I, and I pulled the handkerchief
from off her, stroked her down the back, and said,
she's as fine a bandyhewit as ever ran before a tail.
Mary. Well done, Thomas; you could not have
mended that, if you had it to do again; but you’re
fit to go out in faith.
Th9. She's a fine one, indeed, said the justice;
and it’s a thousand pities but I had known of her
yesterday ; for a fellow came, and I bought one,
not so good as this by half-a-guinea ; and, I’ll up-
hold you, you'll take a guinea for this. And that
I'll have, if I could light of a chapman, said I.
She's richly-worth it, said he , and I think I can
tell thee where thou may part with her, if he is not
fitted already.
Mary. Dear me ! but that was a good-natured
justice, was he not *
-
- - -



32 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. E, Meary, theaw tawks like o seely ninny-
hommer : for tey mey wort fort, nowt ot's owt con
come on’t, when o mon deedls weh rascolty fok:
boh, as I’rtelling thee, he meant a felley of wooant
obeawt two mile off on him (boh the dule forget
him os I done), so I munt gooa back ogen thro'
Ratchdaw. So I geet Nip under meh arm ogen,
mede o scroap weh meh hough, on bid the justice
good meet, weh o heyvy heart thew meh be shure :
on boh os eh thowt he cou’d ashelt sell hur eh this
tother pleck, it wou'd sartinly ha brock’n.
Meg. Lord bless us ! it wur lik’t trouble o
meetily: -
Tum. Boh theawsthear, I’d naw gon o’er aboon
a feelt or two, boh I coom to o greyt bruck, wee
o few narrow sappling brig o'er it. As it had
reint th’ meet afore, os th’ welk in wou'd ha op-
p'nt, th’ wetur wur bonkful; tho' it wur fegguro
deedl i'th mourning; on o someheaw, when I’r
obeawt hoave o'er meh shough slipt, on deawn
coom I, arsyversy, weh Nip eh me arm iºth wetur.
Nip I leet fend for hur sell’n, on flaskert intº eh
geete how'd on o sawgh, on so charr'd meh sell’n ;
or elze nother theaw, nor no mon elze had newer
ise Tum ogen: for be meh troth I’r welly werk’nt.

THE INTERPRETATION. 33
Tho. Aye, Mary, thou talkst like a silly dunce:
for take my word for it, nothing that’s good for any
thing can come of it, when a man deals with ras-
cally folk; but as I was telling thee, he named a
fellow that lived about two miles off him (but the
devil forget him as I do); so I must go back again
to Rochdale. So I got Nip under my arm again,
and made a scrape with my foot, and bid the jus-
tice good night, with a heavy heart, thou mayst be
sure: and, but as I thought I could as well sell her
in this other place, it would certainly have broken.
Mary. Lord bless us it was like to trouble
you mightily
Tho. But thou’lt hear: I had not gone over
above a field or two, but I came to a great brook,
with a narrow plank bridge over it. As it had
rained the night before, as if the sky would have
opened, the water was bank-full, tho' it was fairer
a deal in the morning; and somehow, when I
was about half over, my shoe slipped, and down
came I, topsy-turvy, with Nip in my arm, in the
water; Nip I let fend for herself, and flaskered
until I got hold of the willows, and so took care of
myself; or else neither thee nor any man else had
never seen Tom again, for by my troth I had very
near work of it.

34 THE LANGASHIRE DIALECT.
Mea. Good lorjus deys! th’ like wur never!
this had like to shad awth'tother 1 on yet yo
coom’n farrantly off marry, for it wur a greyt
marcy ye wur'n naw dreawnt.
Tum. I know maw whether’t wur or maw, moa-
ther: boh theawmeh be shure I'r primely boyrnt,
on os weet os ewer eh could sye : beside, ‘I’d no
com to keem meh hure, so ot. I lookt licker o
dreawnt meawse in o mon.
Mea. Beside, yoad'n be as cowd as iccles.
Tum. Eigh, theawmay geawse I’r non mough'n:
boh theawst hear. Id naw gone oboon o stone’s
thrut, efore eh wundurt whot teh pleague wurth’
matter wimmey, for I begun tº smart os if five hun-
durt pissmotes wur eh me breechus : I loast um
deawn, boh cou’d see now't ot wur which : on yet
I lookt as rey osſo fleed meawse; (for were seln
beawt th' scrat at my measter's) 'sflesh, I’r ready
tº gooa woode, on knew neaw whot eh eelt: on
then I unbethowtimeh o me sawt.
Mea. Ewea’s me I’d freatºn that too ! I deawt
it wou'd quite mar o’’
Tum. Now, now, Meary, I’r naw quite marr'd :
it's true I went wigglety-wagglety, for an eawer or
so, of re I’r ogreath ogen: on when he geet reet,
on coom tº groap eh meh singlet pocket for meh


THE INTERPRETATION. 35
Mary. Good gracious days! the like was never!
this had like to have overdone all the others' yet
you came pretty well off, marry, for it was a great
mercy you was not drowned.
Tho. I don’t know whether it was or not, nei-
ther: but thou mayst be sure, I was primely washed,
and as wet as a sieve, besides I’d no comb to comb
my hair, so that I looked liker a drowned mouse
than a man. -
Mary. Besides, thou’dst be as cold as icicles:
Tho. Aye, thou mayst guess I was in no sweat:
but thou’lt hear. I’d not gone above a stone's
throw, afore I wondered what the plague was the
matter with me, for I began to Smart as if five
hundred pismires (ants) were in my breeches: I
loosed them down, but saw nothing that was alive,
yet I looked as red as a flayed mouse (but We are
seldom without the itch at my master's); ’sflesh, I
was ready to go mad, and knew not what I ailed :
and then—Ibethought me of the salt!
Mary. Ah, woe's me! I’d forgotten that, too!
doubt it would quite spoil you ? -
Tho. No, no, Mary, I’m not quite spoiled: it’s
true I went wigglety-wagglety (limping) for an hour
or so before I was right again : and when I got
right, and came to feel in my waistcoat pocket for

36 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.

sawt, the dule obit a sawt wurthur, for it wur aw
run owey—on new it jumpt into meh mind ot I
saigh two rott'n pyenots (hongum) ottis seme brig
os eh coom.
Mea. Did ever ! that wur o sign o bad fartin :
far I heard my gronny sey, hoode os leef o seen
two owd Harries os two pyenots.
Tum. Eigh, so seys meh noant Margit, on o
meemy of k: on I know pyenots ar os cunning
eawls os wawk’n oth yeorth. Boh as I’r telling
thee, Meary, whot with smart, on one thing on on-
other, I’re so stract woode, ot. I cou’d ha fund eh
meh heart ta puncht th' bitches guts eawt: on
then I thowt ogen, Nip's eh no fawt! for be meh
troth I’r welly off at side.
Mea. Indeed, Tummus, I believe of boh o lack
o dey! purring th' bitch wou'd ha bin reet rank.
Tum. That’s true; boh theaw knows One Cun
boh doo whot tey cun doo.
THE INTERPRETATION. 37
my salt, the devil a bit of salt was there, for it was
all run away—and now it jumpt into my mind that
I saw two rotten pyenots (magpies), hang 'em! at
this same bridge as I came.
Mary. Did ever! that was a sign of bad for-
tune: for I heard my granny say, she’d as soon
see two old Harrys as two pyenots.
Tho. Aye, so says my aunt Margit, and a many
folks: and I know pyenots are as cunning owls as
walk on the earth. But I was telling thee, Mary,
what with smart, and one thing or another, I was
so stark mad, that I could have found in my heart
to have punched the bitch's guts out; and then I
thought again, Nip’s in no fault for by my troth
I was nearly beside myself.
Mary. Indeed, Thomas, I believe you ; but
alack-a-day, punching the bitch would have been
right wrong.
Tho. That's true; but thou know'st one can but
do what we can do.
-

(38)
SCENE IV.
Worse frightened than hurt.
TUMMUs and MEARY.
Mea. REET ; boh heavy didney doo withºr weet
clooas; wur'ney naw whelly parisht
Tum. Yigh, be metroth; I dithert of meh teeth
hackt eh meh heedd ogen: boh that wur naw aw; -
it begun tº be dark, on I’r beawt scoance in a
straunge country, five o Suse mile fro whoam ; so
that I maundert ith fields oboon two eawers, on
cou’d naw gawm where he wur; for I mootos weel
o bin in o noon : on in I’d howdºn up meh hont I
cou’d no moor ha seen’t in he con see o fleigh o
thee neaw On here it wur I geet into a gete:
for I thowt I heard summot coming, an if truth
mun be spok’n, I’r so feerfully breed, at meh hure
stood on eend, for theaw knows I noather knew
whooa nor whot it moot be
Mea. True, Tummus, no marvel ot owur so
fay’d ; it wur so fearfoo dark!

(39 )
SCENE IV.
Worse frightened than hurt.
—º-
THOMAS and MARY.
Mary. BUT how did you do with your clothes?
wasn’t you nearly perished :
Tho. Aye, by my troth: I quaked that my teeth
knocked in my head again; but that was not all;
it began to be dark, and I without a lanthorn in a
strange country, five or six miles from home : so
that I wandered in the fields about two hours, and
could not guess where I was, for I might as well
have been in an oven, and if I’d held up my hand
I could no more have seen it than I can see a flea
upon thee now ! And here it was I got into a
fright, for I thought I heard something coming,
and if truth must be spoken, I was so fearfully
frightened that my hair stood on end, for thou
knows I neither knew who, nor what it might be
Mary. True, Thomas, no wonder you was so
frightened: it was so fearful dark

40 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.

Tum. Heawe'er, I resolv’t meyth' best on't, an
up speek I—Wooas tat? A lad's voice answert,
in a crying din, “Elaw, dunnaw tey meh, dunnaw
tey meh P. Now, sed I, I’ll naw tey the, beleady :
whooas lad art to ? Whau, sed he, I’m Jone's
o'Lall's o'Simmy’s, o'Marriom's o'Dick's o'Ne-
thon's, o'Lall's o'Simmy's ith Hooms, an I’m goo-
ing whoam. Odd, thinks I’t meh sell, theaw's a
dree-er neme in me : an here, Meary, I cou’d naw
boh think whot lung nemes sum on us han; for
thine and mine ar meeterly ; boh this lad's wur so
mitch dree-er, ot I thowt it dockt mine tone hawve.
Mea. Preo na, tell meh are theese lung nemes
leet’n 7
Tum. Um—m—mn, le meh see—I connaw tell
the greadly, boh I think it's to tell folk by ?
Mea. Well, an ha didneh gooa on with him :
Tum. Then (as I thowt he tawkt so awkertly)
I’d ash him for th’ wonst whot uncoth’s he heard
sturrink. I here none, but ot Jack o’Ned's towd
meh, of Sam's oºjack's o’Yed's Marler, has wed
Mall o'Nan's o'Sall’s o'Peg's, of gus obeawto beg-
gink churn-milk with pitcher, with lid on. Then
I asht him where Jack o'Ned's wooant? Seys
he, he's 'prentice weh Isaac o'Tim's o'Nick’s oth’
Hough-lone; an he'd bin of Jammy's o'George's
THE INTERPRETATION. 41
Tho. However, I was resolved to make the best
of it, and up spoke I—Who's that? A lad's voice
answered in a crying din, “Aye, lawk | do not
take met do not take me !” No, said I, I’ll not take
thee, by our Lady; whose ladart thou? Why, said
he, I am John’s o’ Lall's o'Simmy’s, o'Marriom's
o'Dick's o’Nethon’s o’ Lall’s o'Simmy's in the lanes,
and I am going home. Odds, thinks I to myself,
thou'stalong name in thee: and here, Mary, I could
not but think what long names some of us have, for
thine and mine are moderate; but this lad’s was so
much longer, that I thought it cut mine into one half.
Mary. Prithee now, tell me how these long
names happen 7 -
Tho. Um—m—n, let me see ? I cannot tell
well, but I suppose it is to know folks by.
Mary. Well, and did you go on with him
Tho. Then (as I thought he talked so awk-
wardly) I’d ask him for the once what news he
heard stirring. I hear none, he said, but Sam
Marler has married Moll Pegs, and goes about
begging butter-milk with a pitcher with a lid on.—
Then I asked him where Jack at Ned's lived 2
Says he, he’s prentice with Isaac o'Tim's o'Nick’s
of the Hough-lane, and he'd been at Jemmy's
o' George's o'Peter's in the Dingles for half a pound

42 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.

o'Peter's ith’ Dingles for hoave a peawndo treacle
tº seawsºn a beest-puddink weh, on his feather and
moother wooan at Rossendow, boh his gromney's
alive an wooansweh his noant Margery a Grinfinit,
at pleck where his nown moother coom fro. Good
lad, sed I, boh heew far's tis Littlebrough off; for
I aint’ see it to-meet if he con hit. Seys tº lad,
it's obeawt a mile, on yo mun keep streight forrud
oyer lift hont, on yoan happ'n do. So a thissºn
We partit ; but I mawkint, an lost me gete ogen
snap. So I powlert o'er yetes on steels, hedges
on doytches, tileh coom to this Littlebrough on
there I’r ill breed ogen, for I thowt I’d seen a bog-
gart; bohitproofto monweh opiece-woo, resting
in on o stoop ith’ lone. As soon os eh cou’d speyk
for whackering, I asht him where ther wur an ele-
heavyse? on he shoud meh : I went in on fund two
fat troddy ſok, wun’nt teer: on theyd'm some oth’
warst fratchingts cumpany, ot e'er e Saigh, for
theyrºn warrying, banning, on cawing on another
leavsy eawls, os thick os leet : heave’er I pood o
cricket, on keaw’rt meh deawn ith nook, o side
oth hob : I’d no soyner done so, boh a feaw seawr
lookt felley, with o Wythen kibbo he had in his
hont, slapto sort of o wither meazzilt feast mon,
sitch othwang oth’ scawp, ot aw warra reetchtogen
THE INTERPRETATION. 43
of treacle to season a beest-pudding with, and his
father and mother live at Rossendow, but his
granny's alive and lives with his aunt Margery at
Greenfield, the place where his own mother came
from. Good lad, said I, but how far is Littlebo-
rough off, for I must see it to-night if I can hit it.
Says the lad, it's about a mile, and you must keep
straight forward on your left hand, and you’ll find
it. So in this way we parted; but I was stupid,
and lost my way again soon. So I scrambled over
gates and stiles, hedges and ditches, till I came to
this Littleborough; and there I was worse fright-
ened again, for I thought I had seen an apparition!
but it proved a man with a quantity of wool to
make a piece of cloth, resting himself on a stump
in the lane. As soon as I could speak for trem-
bling, I asked him where there was an alehouse !
and he showed me: I went in and found two fat-
bellied folks were there,and they’d some of the most
quarrelsome company I ever saw, for they were
cursing and swearing, and calling one another
lousy owls as thick as thee could meet with : how-
ever I pulled a stool, and stooped me down in the
corner aside of the grate : I’d no sooner done so
than a foul sour-looking fellow, with a willow stick
in his hand, slapt a sort of a lusty rough-faced
-


44 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.

with ; on deawn he coom oth’ harstone on his
heeod ith' esshole : his crunt wig fell off, on o
hontle o whot couks feel into’t, on brunt, on frizzlt
it so, ot when he ost don it, on unlucky karron gen
it opoo, on it slipt o'er his sow, on lee like o
hawmbark on his shilders. I glendurt like a stickt
tup, for fear on o dust meh seln: on crope fur into
th’ chimney. Oytch body thowt of mezzil fease
wou’d mey a flittink on't, on dee in a crack; so
sum on um cryd’n eawt, “a doctor a doctor,” while
others meadºn th’ landlort go saddle th’ tit to fotch
one. While this wur e dooink, some on um had
leet on a kin on a doctor of wooant o bit off, an
shew’d im th’ mon oth’ harstone. He leyd how’d
on his arm to feel his pulse I geawse, an pood os
if he’d sin death pooink at th’ tother arm, an wur
resolv’t o'er-poo him : after looking dawkingly-wise
a bit, he geete fro his whirly booans, and sed to
um aw, “While his heart beeots an his blood sar-
clates there's hopes, boh when that stops its whooup
with him eſcath” Mezzi fease hearink summon
o' whooup, startit to his feet, flote none, boh gran
like a foomurt-dog; on seete of black swarfly tyke
weh booath neaves, on wavtit him o'er into th’
galkeer, ful o new drink wortching: he begun o
possing, on peyling him intº so, ot aw wur blendit
THE INTERPRETATION. 45
-
fellow, such a bang of the chops that he fairly
reeled again with : and down he came on the
hearthstone, with his head in the ash-hole: his
besom wig fell off, and a handful of hot coals fell
into it, and burnt and frizzled it so, that when he
tried to put it on, an unlucky chap gave it a pull
and it slipt over his head, and lay like a horse’s
collar on his shoulders: I stared like a stuck tup,
for fear of a dust myself: and crept further into
the chimney. Each body thought the rough-faced
fellow would have made a departure of it, and die
in a crack; so some of them cried out, “a doctor!
a doctor” whilst others made the landlord go sad-
dle the tit to fetch one. While this was a-doing,
some of them found a kind of a doctor that lived
a bit off, and showed him the man on the hearth-
stone. He laid hold of his arm, to feel his pulse
I guess, and pulled as if he'd seen death pulling
at the other arm, and was resolved to over-pull him:
after looking foolishly wise a while, he got from his
knees and said to them all, “While his heart beats
and his blood circulates there's hope, but when
that stops it's all up with him in faith.” Fiery-
pimple-face, hearing somewhat of “allup,” started
to his feet, stopthone, but ran like a ferret dog; and
set at the black swarthy chap with both fists, and
-

46 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
tºgether snap. 'Sflesh, Meary theaw'd obepiss’t
teh, 'ta' seen heav'th gobbin wur awterf, when ot
tey pood’n him eawt; and whot ohobthrust eli
lookſ weh aw that berm obeawt im. He kept
droying his een : boh he moot as weel ha sowt um
in his a-e, tin th’ lonledy had mede an eawºrs
labbor on 'im of pump; when he coom in ogen,
he glooart awvishly of mezzil fease: on mezzil
fease glendurt os Wrythenly of im ogen ; boh noa-
ther warrit nor thrapt: so they seete um deawn,
on then the londledy coom in, on wou'd mey um’t
pay far th’ lumber of teydºn done ur. “Meh
drink’s war be o creawn,” sedhoo ; : beside, there’s
two tumblers, three quifting pots, on four pipes
masht, on o how papper o bacca shed: this mede
°umt glendor ot tone tother ogen; but black tyke's
passion wur coolt at’t pump, on th’ wythen kibbo
had quietnt tother; so ot teh camm'd little or
none, boh agreed tº pey aw meegn, then seet’n um
deawn, on wur friends ogen in o sniff.
Mea. This wur mad gawmbling wark; on welly
os ill os th’ teying th' eawl.

THE INTERPRETATION. 47
overturned him into the tub in which the drink
was working: he began a knocking and thumping
him into it so, that all blended together quickly.
‘Sflesh, Mary I thou’d have watered to have seen
how the gaby was altered when that they pulled
him out: and what an apparition he looked, with
all the yeast and froth of the drink about him.
He kept drying his eyes; but he might as well
have sought them in his bottom, until the landlady
had made an hour's labour upon him at the pump :
when he came in again he looked queerly at pim-
pled-face, and pimpled-face looked as illnaturedly
at him again; but neither swore nor blackguarded:
so they set 'em down, and then the landlady came
in and would make them pay for the mischief they
had done her, “My drink's worse by a crown,”
said she ; “besides, there’s two tumblers, three
half-gills, and four pipes smashed, and a whole
paper of tobacco shed:” this made them stare at
each other again ; but the black chap's passion
was cooled at the pump, and the willow stick had
quieted the other, so they grumbled little or none,
but agreed to pay all between them, then sat them
down, and were good friends again in a whiff.
Mary. This was mad rambling work; and
nearly as bad as the taking of the owl.


48 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. Ney, naw quite noather, Meary ; for
berm's o howsome smell; heave'er when aw wur
sattl’t, I crope narth’ foyar ogen; for I wantot o
whawm fearfully, for I'r booath cowd on weet, os
well as hongry on droy.
Mea. Beleemy, Tummus, yo mootn weell; boh
yoarn in o good kele too to, ot iddºn money eh
yer pocket.
Tum. Eigh, I thowt I'd money enough ; boh
theawst hear moor o that een na. So I cawd for
summot tº eat, on o pint o ele; on hoo browt me
some hog-muttºn on special turmits ; on as prime
veeol on pestil os ned be toucht: I creemt Nip
neaw on then o lunshun, boh Tum took care oth’
tother, steawp on reawp; for Ieet like o Yorshar-
mon, en cleeart th' stoo,


º
--
THE INTERPRETATION. 49
Tho. No, not quite, for yeast has a wholesome
smell: however, when all was settled, I crept near
to the fire again, for I wanted a warm sadly,–for
I was both cold and wet, as well as hungry and
dry.
Mary. Believe me, Thomas, you might well be
so ; but you're in a good place, too, and you had
money in your pocket. - º
Tho. Ay, I thought I had money enough; but
thou’lt hear more of that just now. So I called
for something to eat, and a pint of ale; and she
brought me some pork and raw turnips, and as
fine veal and ham as need to be touched : I
crammed Nip now and then with a luncheon, but
Tom took care of the other, every bit; for I eat
like a Yorkshireman, and cleared the table.

( 50 )
SCENE V.
Nought to Pay.
TUMMUs and MEARy.
|Mea. WELL done, Tummus yoad'n sure need
moree supper, for yo shaddºn wrynot, on slanst th’
charges frowt, I hear.
Tum. True; so I seete on restut meh, on drank
me pint oele; boh as I’r naw greadly sleckt, I
cawd for another, on bezzilt tat too, for I’r os
droy os soot ; on as t wur tº lete t'gooa anny whi-
ther weh meh bitch, I askt th’ londledey in eh
cou’d staw aw neet; hoo towd meh I moot in eh
wou’d. Sed I, I’ll geaw neaw, innin geaw win-
mey. I geaw with thee, koo hoo! whot ar to
feeard oboggarts, or theaw’rt naw Weynt yet, on
connaw sleep beawt o pap? 'Sflesh, sed I, whot
are ye tawking on? I want gut’ bed. Ho, ho,
if that be aw, sed hoo, Margits’t show thee. So


(
51 Y
SCENE V.
THOMAS and MARY.
Mary. WELL done, Thomas' you’d sure need
no second supper, for you eat so much that you
took the profits from it, I hear.
Tho. True; so I sat and rested myself, and
drank my pint of ale; but, as I had not well
quenched my thirst, I called for another, and
took that in, too, for I was as dry as soot ; and as
it was too late to go any where with my bitch,
poor Nip, I asked the landlady if she could let me
rest all night; she told me I might if I would.
Said I, I’ll go now, if you'll go with me. I go
with thee, say you? What, art thou afraid of
ghosts, or thou’rt not weaned yet, and cannot
sleep without the breast? 'Sflesh, said I, what
art thou talking of? I want to go to bed. Ho,


D 2
52 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Margit leet ocondle, on shewd meh o wistey
reawm, on o bed weh curtnurs forsuth ! I thowt
Margit pottert on ſettlt lung ith choamber of)re
ho laſt it, on I mistrust it ot hoor ’meawlt for obit
o tussling on teawing; boh o someheaw I’r so
toyart on healo, ot I'reh no fettle for catterweaw-
ing, so I sed nowt too ºur; boh I forthowt sin, for
hoor no daggletele I’ll uphowdtey, boh os snug o
loss os Seroh o’ Rutchots eary bit.
- - -
Mea. Marry kem eawt! like enough, why not?
Is Seroh o’Rutchots so honsome?
Tum. Eigh, hoos meeterly, Heawe'er, when
hoor gon, I doft meh donk shoon on hoyse, on
me doage clooas, on geet in ; on eh truth, Meary,
I newer lee eh sitch bed sin eh wur kersunt.
Mea. E dear Tummus, I cou’d ha lik’t obin
with o ; I warrant yoad'n sleep seawndly :
Tum. Ney, I connaw sey ot he did, for I’r
meetily troublt abeawt me kawve: besides, I’r
feeard o eawer fok seeching meh, on meh measter
beasting meh when he geet whooam; its true meh
carkuss Wur pratty yeasy, boh me mind moot os
weel o line on o pissimotehoyle, or in o rook ohol-



THE INTERPRETATION. * 53
ho, if that be all, said she, Marg’ret will show -
thee. So Margret lighted a candle, and showed
me a large room, and a bed with curtains forsooth !
I thought Margret was confused and lingered
long in the chamber before she left it, and I sus-
pected that she longed for a bit of pulling and
hauling; but somehow I was so tired and bashful
that I was in no humour for caterwauling, so I
said nothing to her; but I have forethought my-
self since, for she was no dirty one, I’ll assure thee,
but as nice a lass as Sarah at Richard’s, every bit.
Mary. Marry come up like enough, why not *
Is Sarah at Richard’s so handsome?
Tho. Ay, she's moderately. However, when
she was gone, I took off my wet shoes and hose,
and my wet clothes, and got in ; and in truth,
Mary, I never lay in such a bed since I was
christened.
Mary. O dear Thomas, I should have liked to
have been with you; I warrant you'd sleep soundly?
Tho. Nay, I cannot say that I did, for I was
much troubled about my calf: besides, I was
afraid of our folk seeking me, and my master beat-
ing me when I got home; it's true, my carcass
was pretty easy, but my mind might as well have
lain in an ant's hole, or on a heap of holly or

54 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
lins or gorses, for it wur one o’clock of reeh cou’d
toyn me een.
Mea. Well, on heavy went’nye on ith’ mourning
when eh wack’nt?
Tum. Whau, as I’r donning meh thwooanish
clooas, I thowt I'll know heavy meh shot stons
ofore I’ll wear moor o meh brass o meh brekfust:
so I cawd, on th’ londledey coom, on kest it up
to throtteen-pence . So, thowt I tº meh seln, o
weawnded deedl? whot strushon hav I mede here !
I cou’d ha fund meh seln o how wick weh hus for
that money. I’st naw hav one boadle tº sphere o
meh “ohyde silver: on neaw. I’r in os ill o kele
meetshad, wur eh maw’
Mea. Now marry! naw yo: in iddºn mede
strusshion, on bezzilt owey moor brass inney
haddºn, yo metºn ha tawkt.
Tum. I find teaw con tell true to a hure, into
will, Meary; boh, by th’ miss! when of eh coom’t
grope eh meh slop tº pey 'ur, I’r weawndedly
glopp’nt, for the dule o hawpunny had eh on
whether eh lost it ith bruck, or weh scrawming
o'er th’ doytch-backs, I no moor know in th’ mon
ith’ moon, boh gone it wur ! I steart like o wil-cat,
on wur welly gawmless: on of last I towd hur I’d
lost meh money. Sed hoo, whot dunneh meeon


THE INTERPRETATION. 55
gorse, for it was one o'clock before I could close
my eyes.
Mary. Well, and how got you on in the morn-
ing, when you wakened :
Tho. Why, as I was putting on my wettish
clothes, I thought I'll know how my shot stands
before I’ll spend more of my brass at my break-
fast: so I called, and the landlady came, and cast
it up to thirteen-pence So, thought I to myself,
it’s a plaguy deal; what destruction have I made
here! I could have found myself a whole week
with us for that money. I shall not have one
farthing to spare of my “Hide silver:” and now
I was in as bad a case as could be, wasn’t I now?
Mary. No, marry not you : if you had made
away with more money than you had, you might
have talked.
Tho. I find thou canst tell true to a hair, if
thou wilt, Mary; but, by the mass 1 when I came
to grope in the bottom of my pocket to pay her, I
was woundily frightened, for the devil a ha'penny
had Îl and whether I had lost it in the brook or "
with scrambling over the ditch-banks, I no more
knew than the man in the moon, but gone it was
I stared like a wild cat and was nearly motionless:
at last I told her I had lost my money! Said she,

56 . THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
mon; yoast naw put Yorshar o me? that tele
winnaw fit meh; for yoar like’t pey osumheaw.
Sed I, boh it's true, on yo mey grope eh meh
breeches in he win. Theawºrt some mismanert
jackonapes I’ll uphowd tey, Sey hoo: ney, ney, I'st
naw grope eh the breeches, not I. Whau, sed I,
yoar lik’t ha nowt, beawt yean tey meh woollen
mittins, and meh sawt cleawt. Thoos’n naw doo,
sed hoo, they’re naw booath worth aboon two
groats. I nowt elze, sed. I beawt yean ha meh
sneeze hurn, on I’m loath tº part weet, becose
Seroh o’Rutchots gaight me th’ last kersmuss.
Let’s see um, sed hoo, for theow’rt some arron
rascot I’ll uphowd teh. So I genum her; on still
this broddling fussock lookt feaw os tumor when
I’d done.
Mea. Good-lorjus-o-me! I thinkiddºn th’ warst
luck ot ewer kersun soul had.
Tum. Theaw’ll say so eend neaw! Well, I’r
toyart o that pleck, on crope owey witheawt bit or
sope, or cup o sneeze ; for Igawmbl’t on leet tat
gooa too. I soyn. Sperr'd this gentlemon's hoah
eawt; on when eh geete tear, I gan o glent into
th' shipp'n, on seed o mon stonning ith’ groop.
Sed I, is yer measter of whoam, prey of Eigh
THE INTERPRETATION. 57
what do you mean, man? you are now putting
Yorkshire on me; that tale will not suit me, for
you are like to pay it somehow. Said I, but it's
true, and you may feel in my breeches if you will.
Thou art some mismannered jackanapes, I’ll up-
hold thee, said she nay, nay, I’ll not feel in thy
breeches, not I. Well, said I, you are like to have
nought, without you’ll take my woollen gloves, and
my clout I had carried the salt in. Those will
not do, said she, they are not both worth above
two groats. I have mought else, said I, without
you’ll have my snuff-horn, and I’m loth to part
with it, because Sarah at Richards's gave it me
last Christmas. Let's see them, said she, for thou
art some arrant rascal, I’ll uphold thee. So I gave
them to her; and still this fat fussock of a woman
looked as black as thunder when I’d done.
Mary. Good gracious ! I think you'd the worst
luck that ever Christian soul had.
Tho. Thou'lt say so just now! Well, I was tired
of the place, and crept away without bite or sup,
or pinch of snuff; for I played the fool and let
that go, too. I soon spied the gentleman’s hall
out ; and when I got there, I gave a look into the
cow-house, and saw a man standing in the cow's
stall. Said I, is your master at home, pray ?


5 8
THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
sed he, I wou’d idd’m tell him I’d fene speyk at
him, sed I. Yigh, sed he, that I’ll do. So her
no soyner gooan, boh a fine, fattish, throbby gen-
tlemon coom in a trice, on axt meh whot he
wantutº Sed I, I understond yo wantºn o good
bandyhewit, sur, on I’ve a pure on tº sell here.
Let's see th’ shap on hur, sed he, so I stroakt
hur deawn th” back, on croob'd hur oth’ greawnd.
Hoos th’ fin'st otew’ry saigh, sed he boh I deawt
things’n leet unluckily for the ; for I geete two this
last week, on they mey’dn up meh keawnt. Neaw,
Meary, I'r ready tº cruttle deawn, for theaw moot
o knockt meh o'er with a pey. Boh whot's teh
price, sed he 7 I connaw thwooal hur tº mehnown
broother under o ginny, sed I. Hoos cheeopo
that, sed he 5 on no deawt boh theaw may sellhur.
Mea. Odds like | yoarn lung eh finding o chap-
mon ; oytchbody’r awlus fittut so. º
Tum. Eigh, fittut eigh; far they nedºn none no
moor in I need wetur eh meh shoon, not tey : but
theaw'st hear. Then, sed he, there’s an old cratch-
enly gentlemon, ot wooans of yon heavse, omung
yon trees, meet anent us; ot I believe 'll gi thee
the price: if not, justice sitch o one's olikely chap,
iftle goo thither, Sed I, I’r there last oandurth,
THE INTERPRETATION. 59
Ay, said he. I would you would tell I would
feign speak to him, said I. Ay, said he, that
I’ll do. So he was no sooner gone, but a fine
fattish bulky gentleman came in a trice, and
asked me what I wanted Said I, I under-
stand you want a good bandyhewit, and I’ve a
rare one to sell here. Let me see the shape of
her, said he so I stroked her down the back, and
gently put her on the ground. She's the finest
I ever saw, said he, but I doubt things fall un-
luckily for thee, for I got two this last week, and
they made up my count. Now, Mary, I was ready
to sink down, and thou might have knocked me
over with a pea. But what is the price, said he?
I cannot afford her to my own brother under a
guinea, said I. She's cheap at that, said he , and
no doubt but thou may sell her.
Mary. It’s not like, for you’re long in finding a
chapman, each body's always supplied so.
Tho. Ay, supplied, ay, for they wanted none,
no more than I did water in my shoes, not they :
but thou’lt hear. Then, said he, there is an old
feeble gentleman that lives at yonder house among
those trees, just opposite to us, that I believe will
give thee thy price; if not, justice such-a-one is a
likely chap, if thou’lt go thither. Said I, I was
-


60 THE IANCASHIRE DIALECT.
on he'd leet ooneth yeandurth of re. That leet
feawly for the, sed he. Eigh, sed I, so it e'en did;
for I mede o peaw'r o labber obeawt it, I’m shure.
Well, boh this owd gentlemon's lik’ly'st of onny I
know. So I mede 'immeh manners, on seete eawt
for this tother pleck. -

Mea. I hope in ha’ better luck, egodsnum.
Tum. Whau, I thowt eb cou’d, too : for neaw it
popt int’ mind, ot Nip did maw howd her tele
heeigh enough, on ot fols wou'd maw buy her be-
cose o' that. On intº has maw freeat’m, I bowt two
eawnce o' pepper when id meh sawt; on tho’’twur
os thodd’n os o thar-cake, I’d rub her a-se weet:
for I had seen Oamfrey o’ Matho's pley that tutoh
be his crewparst-mare, that dey ot Yem oth' Red-
bonk coom’t buy hur. So meet ofore eh geet teear,
I took Nip, on rubb’d hur primely efeath, een till
o' yeawlt ogen. I’r otheawse in o crack, on leet
oth’owd mon ith fowd, ossing tº geet otit back.
Sed I to him, is yoarn neme Mr. Scar 2 Sed he,
theawºr oather greedf, or greeof-by; but I gex I’m
him ot to meeons: what wants to winmey ! I’m
infarmed, sed I, ot yo wantºn o bandyhewit, on
I’ve o tiptop on eh meh arms here os omny’s eb
THE INTERPRETATION. 61
there last evening, and he had lighted of one the
morning before. That fell badly for thee, said he.
Ay, said I, so it even did for I made a deal of
talk about it, I’m sure. Well, but this old gentle-
man is the likeliest of any I know. So I made him
my manners (by bowing), and set out for this other
place.
Mary. I hope you’ll have better luck, in God's
name.
Tho. Why, I thought I could too, for now it
came into my mind, that Nip did not hold her tail
high enough, and that folk would not buy her on
account of that; and if thou hast not forgotten, I
bought two ounces of pepper when I'd my salt;
and although it was as sodden as an oaten cake, ,
I’d rub her with it ; for I’d seen Humphrey at
Mathews's play that trick by his bay-breeched
mare that day that Jem of the Red Bank came to
buy her. So just before I got there, I rubbed her
primely in faith; even till she yelled again. I was
at the house in a crack, and found the old man in
the yard, beginning to get on horseback. Said I
to him, is your name Mr. Scar 2 Said he, thou’rt
either right or very near it, but I guess I am he
that thou means; what wants thou with me? I am
informed, said I, you want a bandyhewit, and I’ve
-

62 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT-
Englandshiar. That's a greyt breedd, sed he ;
but prethe let’s hondle hur obit, for in eh tuteh
hur, I con tell whether hoo’s reet bred or maw.
Mea. Odd, but that wur o meety fawse owd
felly, too-to.
Tum. 'Sflesh, Meary I think eh meh guts ot
he’r th’ bigg'st rascot on um aw: boh I leet im
hondle’r, on he'r so seely, on his honds wackert so
despratly, ot he cou’d naw stick too hur, on hoo
leep deawn. Neaw fort, thowt I, Nip; cock the
tele on show the sell; boh estid ot that, hoo seet
up o yeawll, clapt th' tele between hur legs, on
crope into o hoyle ith horse-stone !
Mea. Fye onnºr, I'st ha bin os mad attur os o
pottert-wasp.
Tum. Whau, Iºr os mad os teaw could be, ot
hoode shawmt hur so wofully ; heave’er I sed to
th’owd mon, mumneh tak’ ur ogen for yoan find
hoose no foogoad on a bitch! Now, now, sed he,
I feel os fat os o smig, on os smoot os o mowde-
warp : on I find os plene os o pike-staff, be hur
lennock yeears, othoose reet bread: on I’d a had
ºur if hoode cost meh o moider, but ot offiend has
sentmeh one eawto Yorshar, on I need no moor:

THE INTERPRETATION. 6.3
a tiptop one in my arms as any in England. That’s
a great breed, said he, but prithee let’s feel her a
bit, for if I touch her, I can tell whether she is a
right breed or not. - -
Mary. Egad, but that was a mighty false old
fellow, to be sure, -
Tho. 'Sflesh, Mary, I think in my guts he was -
the biggest rascal of them all ; but I let him exa-
mine her, and he was so weakly, and his hands
shook so desperately, that he could not stick to
her, and she jumpt down. Now for it, thought I,
Nip, cock thy tail and show thyself: but instead
of that, she set up a yell, clapt the tail between her
two legs, and crept into the hole under the horse-
lock. - -
Mary. Fye upon her! I should have been as
mad at her as a vexed wasp.
Tho. Why, I was as mad as thou couldst be, that
she had showed herself so shamefully; however I
said to the old man, must I take her again, for
yon’ll find she's no lap-dog; No, no, said he, I
feel she's as fat as a snig, and as smooth as a mole:
and I find as plain as a pikestaff, by her pliant
slender ears, that she’s of the right breed: and I’d
have had her, if she had cost me a moidore, but
that a friend has sent me one out of Yorkshire,

64 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
boh I’ll swop with the into will. Now sed I, I’ll
swop none : for I'll oather have a ginny for hur
or hoost newer gooa while meh heedd stons o meh
shilders. Then I con chaffer none with thee, sed
he boh hast’ bin ot yon fine bigging anent us 2
| Eigh, sed I, boh he's onoo on um. Well but
"they’re os scant neawosewer the wureh this warld,
sed he; on there's one Muslin eh Ratchdaw, ot's
o meety lover on um. Whau, said I, I’st go see.
On neaw, Meary, I begun tº mistrust ot tearn’n
meying of)0 on meh 1
Mea. The firrups tak” um, boh tey ne'er wur be
aw o like.

THE INTERPRETATION. 65
and I need do more, but I’ll change with thee if
thou wilt. No, said I, I’ll swop none, for I'll either
have a guinea for her, or she never goes while
my head stands on my shoulders. Then I can
bargain none with thee, says he; but hast thou
been at that big house opposite? Aye, said I, .
(snappishly) but he's enough of them. Well but
they are as scarce now as ever they were in the
world, said he ; and there’s one Muslim at Roch-
dale, that is a mighty lover of them. Well, said
I, I'll go and see. And now, Mary, I began to
mistrust they were making a fool of me ! -
Mary. The deuce take them, but they never
could be all alike.
=







( 66 )
SCENE VI.
More thumps than aw'pence.
-º-
TUMMUs and MEARY.
Tum. Whau, boh howd tey tung o bit, on
theawsthear; for I thought I’d try this tother fel-
ley, on if her gett’n fittut too, I'd try no moor: for
then it wou’d be os plene os Blackstonehedge ot
tearn meying oh arron gawby on meh. So I went
t’ Ratchdaw, on sperr'd 'tis mon eawt. I found
im o back oth shopboort, weh o little dog ot side
on 'im : thowt I tº meh seln I would teaw "a choak’t
this felley 'll be fittut too, Ideawt. Well, sed he,
onnist mon, whot done yo pleeost hav? I want
nowt othe han, sed I, for I’m come’n tº sell ye o
bandyhewit. Neaw, Meary, this rascot os weel
ost” rest roost meh bitch to the warra welkin; but
ot tat time—he did maw want one.
( 67 )
SCENE WI.
More blows than looked for.
—º-
THOMAS and MARY.
Tho. WELL, but hold thy tongue a bit and
thou’lt hear; for I thought I’d try this other fellow,
and if he has got fixed too, I would try no more;
for then it would be as plain as Blackstone Hedge*
that they were making an arrant jack-ass of me.
So I went to Rochdale, and looked this man out.
I found him at the back of the shopboard, with a
little dog aside of him: thought I to myself I would
thou was choked, this fellow will be fixed too, I
doubt. Well, said he, honest man, what do you
please to have 7 I want nothing that you have,
said I, for I am come to sell you a bandyhewit.
Now, Mary, this rascal, as well as the rest, praised
my bitch to the skies; but at that time—he did
not want one /
* An extensive hill near Rochdale.

F 2

68 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Mea. E wea’s me, Tummus ! I deawt tearn
meying o parfit neatril on ol
Tum. O, neatrill eigh, th’ big'st of ewer wur
mede sin Kene kilt Ebill on neaw. I’r so strackt
woode I’r arronly moydert, on cou’d ha fund eh
meh heart’t a jowd aw ther sows together. I’r no
soyner areawt, boh o threave o rabblement wer
watching on meh at tº dur. One on um sed, this
is im; onother, he's here ; on one basturtly-gullion
asht mey if I’d sowd meh bandyhewit? By th’
miss, Meary, I’r so augurt ot tat, ot I up weh meh
gripp'n neave, on hit him o good wherrit oth yeear,
on then weh meh hough puncht him into th’ rig-
got; on ill grim'd on deet th’ lad wur for shure:
then they aw seete ogen meh, on ofcre I’d gon o
rood, ih’ lad's mother coom, on crope sawfly be-
hunt meh, on geete meh by th’ hewer, on deawn
coom Nip on me ith rindle, on th' hoor of top on
meh; while th’ tuffle lastit, hurlad (on the basturts
ot took his part) kept griming, on deeting meh
weh sink durt, ot I thowt meh een would newer
ha done good ogen; for I moot os well ha bin
o'er the heedd in o midding spuce, or ot teying o
two eawls. -
Mea. E walla dey, whot obunnanze omisſartins
yo had n.
THE INTERPRETATION. 69
Mary. Eh! dear me, Thomas I doubt they
were making a perfect natural of thee!
Tho. A naturall aye, the biggest that ever was
made since Cain killed Abel; and now I was so -
stark-mad, I was downright bothered, and could
have found in my heart to have jolted all their -
heads together. I was no sooner out of doors but
a posse of rabble were waiting for me at the door.
One of them said, this is him ; another, he’s here;
and one bastardly bastard asked if I had sold my
bandyhewit? By the mass, Mary, I was so an- -
gered at that, that I up with my griffined fists and
hit him a good thump on the head, and them with
my foot kicked him into the channel ; and all be-
mired with dirt the lad was, for sure; then they all
set against me, and before I had gone a rood, the
lad’s mother came, and crept softly behind me, and
got me by the hair, and down came Nip with me
into the channel, and the at top of me: while
the struggle lasted, her lad (and the bastards who
took his part) kept besmearing me with street dirt,
and I thought my eyes would never have done
good again ; for I might as well have been over
head in a horse wash or at the taking of two owls. -
Mary. Ah! well-a-day! what abundance of mis-
fortunes you had.
º
- - -
_


70 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. Eigh, for if Owd Nick owt me a spite, he
pede me whoam weh use; for while the skirmidge
lastut, owth teawnwur clutturt obeawtus; I sheamt
os if I’d stown summut, on skampurt owey weh o
fleigh eh me yeear, on up th' broo into th’ church-
yort: there I'd o mind tº see if onney body follut
meh. I turn’d meh, on who te dule dust think?
boh I’d los Nip.
Mea. Whot senneh
Tum. It’s true, Meary; so I cawd, on I whew tit,
boh no Nip wur tº be fund, hee nor low : on far
aw I knew meh measter seete sitch stoar on hur,
becose o fotchink th’ beaoss on sheep, I durst os
tite o team o bear by th’ tooth ostta os seech hur
ith teawn. So I took eendwey, for it wur welly
neet; on I’d had noather bit nor sope, nor cup o
sneeze of aw that dey. -
Mea. Why, yoad'n be os gaunt os grewnt; on
welly famimisht.
Tum. I tell the, Meary, I’r welly moydart: then
I thowt meh heart wou’d ha sunk int’ meh shoon:
for it feld os heavy os o mustert boah, on I stanck
so, it mede meh os waugish os owt, on I’d two
or three weter tawms : beside aw this, meh belly
warcht; on eh this fettle I munt daddle whoam,
on fease meh measter |


THE INTERPRETATION. 71
Tho. Aye, for if Old Nick owed me a spite, he
paid me home with use : for while the skirmish
lasted, all the town was gathered about us: I was
shamed as if I’d stolen something, and scampered
away with a flea in my ear, and up the hill into the
churchyard: there I’d a mind to see if any body
followed me. I turned me, and what the devil
dost think? but I had lost Nip.
Mary. What say you?
Tho. It’s true, Mary 1 so I called and I whistled,
but no Nip was to be found, high or low, and for
all I knew my master set such store on her, be-
cause of fetching the beast and sheep, I durst as
soon have taken a bear by the tooth, as to attempt
to seek her in the town. So I took the straight
way, for it was nearly night; and I’d neither had
bit or sup, or pinch of snuff, all that day.
Mary. Why, you’d be as empty as the ground,
and nearly famished.
Tho. I’lltell thee, Mary, I was nearly non-plused;
then I thought my heart would have sunk in my
shoes, for it felt as heavy as a mustard ball, and I
stunk so I that it made me as faintish as any thing,
and I had two or three water vomits: besides all
this, my belly ached; and in this state I must dan-
dle home, and face my master!



72 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
-
Mea. E dear! whot okin of obeawt had'n ye
weh him 7
Tum. Whau, I'st tell the moor o that eend
neaw: b'o furst theaw mun know, that os I’r goo-
ing toart whom os demawnheartit on mallancholy
os a methodist of thinks he's in pig of Owd Harry,
o mon o’ertook meh riding o tit back on leedding
onother: thinks It’ meh sell, this is some Yorshar
horse jockey ; I wou’d he'd le meh ride; for theaw
mun know I’r wofoo weak on waughish. This
thought had hardly glentit thro’ meh nob before
ot felly sed, “ Come, honesty, theaw looks os if to
wur ill toyart, theawstride obit, into will.” That's
whot eh want, sed I, in ye pleeas'n, for I’m welly
done. So loothe Meary I geet on ; on I thought
eh neer rid yeasier sin eh cou’d geet o hump-
stridd’n o tit back.
Mea. A good deed, Tummus ; that wur no ill
felly; yoad'n ha no ill luck of tis beawt e goddil.
Tum, E, Meary, theaws een gext rank monny
on mony otime, on neaw theaw p—sses by the
bowogen : for I wou'd i’d ridden eawr Billy's
hobby horse a howdey tºgether estid o getting o
this tit: for hark the meh, we’d naw ridd’n oboon
five rood but felly asht meh heavy far I’r gooink
that wey! Seys I, obeawt a mile on o hoave.


THE INTERPRETATION, 73
Mary, Eh dear! what a sort of a bout had you
with him 7 -
Tho. Why, I’ll tell you more of that just now:
but first thou must know, that as I was going
towards home, as downhearted and melancholy as
a methodist, who thinks he's in pig of Old Harry, a
man overtook me riding on horseback and leading
another; thinks I to myself, this is some Yorkshire
horse jockey ; I would he'd let me ride; for thou
must know I was sadly weak and faintish. This
thought had hardly struck into my head before the
fellow said, “Come, honesty, thou looks as if thou
was badly tired, thou may ride a bit if thou hast a
mind.” That’s what I want, said I, if you please,
for I am nearly done. So look you, Mary, I got
on ; and I thought I never rid so easily since I
could get a cross-stride a horseback.
Mary. A good deed, Thomas; that was no ill
fellow; you'd have no ill luck at this turn however.
Tho. Aye, Mary, thou'st even guessed wrong
many and many a time, and now thou passes by the
right again; for I would I had ridden our Billy’s
hobby horse a whole day together, instead of
getting on this tit: for harkee me, we'd not rode
above five roods but the fellow asked me how far
I was going that way Says I, about a mile and
E




7+ THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
That's reet, seys he ; there's on eleheawse just
there obeawt; I’ll ride ofcre, on theaw mun come
sawfly after, on I'll stey for the there. So he seet
off like hey go mad; boh I kept ofoot's peese :
for me tit swat on semm'd os toyart os I wur.
Neaw loothe, Meary, after this I’d paw ridden
mitch o boon hawfe o mile, boh I heard some fook
cummink after meh o gallop, o gallop, os if the
deel had had halliday. Theydºn hardly o’erta'en
meh, boh one on una sweer by th’ mass, this is my
tit, on I'll heyt too, if Owd Nick ston not ith gap.
With that o lusty wither tyke pood eawt othink
like o piece on o bassoon, on slapping meh oth
shilders weet, sed, “friend, I’m o cunstoble, an
yore my prisner.” “The deel tey yer friendship,
on constableship too,” sed I; “whot dunneh meeon
monº what mun Ibe prisner for 7" “Yoan stown
that tit,” sedhe, “on yoast good back whimmey be-
fore o justice.” “I stown nont ont’,” sed I, “for
I boh meet neaw gett'n ont, on o monots gallopt
ofore, on whooa I took for th’ owner, ga'meh leedf;
so whot bishan oather yo or th’ justice weh meh!
“Stuff, stuff, meer balderdash,” sed the constable.
THE INTERPRETATION. 75
a half. That’s right, says he ; there's an alehouse
just thereabouts; I’ll ride on and thou must come
softly after, and I will stay for thee there. So he
set off like “hey go mad,” but I kept a footpace:
for my tit sweat and seemed as tired as I was.
Now look you, Mary, after this I hadn’t rode above
half a mile, but I heard some folks coming after
me on the gallop o gallop, as if the devil had had
holiday. They had hardly overtaken me, but one
of them swore, by the mass, this is my horse, and
I’ll have her too, if Old Nick stands not in the
gap. With that a lusty strong chap pulled out a
thing like a piece of a bassoon, and clapping me
on the shoulders with it, said, “friend, I’m a con-
stable, and you are my prisoner.” “The devil take
your friendship and constableship,” said I, “what
do you mean man, what must I be a prisoner for 7°
“You have stolen that tit,” said he, “ and you
must go back with me before the justice.” “I stole
none of it,” said I, “ for I but just now light on it,
and the man that is galloped before, and who I
took for the owner, gave me leave; therefore what
business has either you or the justice with me !”
* It is an extraordinary fact, that a similar trick with two
bullocks was practised on a young man, near London, in the
latter end of 1827, of the name of Gill, who was tried and
- E 2
aw



76 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
Wi’ that I leep off th’ tit in a greyt hig, on sed,
int be yoars tak’t o, to the deelo ; for I know now?
ont, nor yo noather, not I.
Mea. Weel actit, Tummus ; that wur monfully
sed, on done to, think I.
Tum. Boh husht, Meary, on theawst hear fur:
- “Cum, cum,” sed th’ constable; “that wifſo whaffo
stuff winnow doo for me : for gooa yo boath mun
on shan, oather be hook or crook.” On wi' that
he pood eawt some irºn trimkums, ot rick tº like
o parsil o cheeons. Weawns, thinks I tº me sell,
- whot at theese? In the bin shackils, I’m in orere
- scroap indeed; I’m wur off neaw in e'er eh wur ;
ſ’st be hong'd, or some devilement of tis very time.
Fo be meh troth, Meary, I heated th’ jingling of
, his thingumbobs os ill os if theaw or ony mon elze
had bin ringing my passing bell.
Mea. Good lorjus deys its not to tell heavy
camm'd things con happ'n
Tum. Heawe’er I mustert up my curridge, On
sed, “Hark o', yo cunstable, put up thoose things
ot rick’n so; on inneh mun gooa, I will goOa, On


THE INTERPRETATION. - 77
4.
“Stuff, stuff, mere balderdash,” said the constable.
With that I leaped off the tit in a great passion,
and said, “If it be yours take it you, to the devil
if you will; for I know nought about it, nor ye nei-
ther, not I.”
Mary. Well acted, Thomas; that was manfully
said and done too, I think.
Tho. But hush, Mary, and thou’lt hear further.
“Come, come,” said the constable, “ that shilly-
shally stuff will not do for me; for go you both must
and shall, either by hook or by crook.” And with
that he pulled out some trinkums, that rattled like
a parcel of chains. Zounds, thinks I to myself,
what are these ? If they are shackles, I’m in a
rare scrape indeed; I’m worse off now than I ever
was ; I shall be hanged, or some devilment, at this
very time. For by my troth, Mary, I hated the
very jingling of his thingembobs, as ill as if thou
or any man else had been ringing my passing bell.
Mary. Good Lord a days l its not to tell how
crooked things can happen
Tho. However, I mustered up iny courage, and
said, “ Hark ye, you constable, put up those
things that rattle so; and if I must go, I will go,
condemned, but afterwards, upon a strong representation
reprieved,

78 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
quietly too; for theaw knows ot force is meds'n
for o mad dog.
Mea. Whoo-who, whoo-who, whoo! why,
Tummus, its meet neaw buzz'd into meh heedd
ot tis seme horse-jockey had stown th’ tit, on for
fear o bene o’ertene geet yo tº ride tº seve his own
beak’n, on so put Yorshar on ye o thiss'n.

Tum. Why I think theaw guexes too o hure ;
for he slipt th’ rope fro obeawt his own neck on
don'd it omine, that’s sarten. Heawe’r it mede
pittifo wark indeed, to be guardit be two men
on o cunstable back ogen thro' Rachdaw, where
I’d so letely lost meh bitch, on bin so very maw-
kinly rowlt ith riggot! Heaweer, these cunstable
fok Wur meety meeverly on modest too to, on as
mute os modywarps, for wee geet thro' th' teawn
weh very little glooaring on less pumping, on wur
otjustices in a crack.
Mea. E deer, Tummus, did naw a hawter run
strawngely eh yer heedd 2 for summot runs eh
mine os int Wur full o ropes on pully-beawls.
Tum. Why loothe, Meary, I thought so pleaguy
hard, ot I cou’d think o nothing at aw; for se
the meh, I’r freetn’t aw macks o weys. Still, I’d
one cumfort awlus popt ud it heedd; for thinks


THE INTERPRETATION. 79
and quietly, too; for thou knowest that force is
medicine for a mad dog.” -
Mary. Oh, dear! oh, dear, dear ! why, Tho-
mas, it's just now come into my head that this
same horse-jockey had stolen the tit, and, for fear
of being overtaken, got you to ride to save his
own bacon, and so put Yorkshire on you in this
Inahºner.
Tho. Why, I think thou guesses to a hair; for
he slipped the rope from about his own neck and
put it on mine, that’s certain. However, it made
pitiful work, indeed, to be guarded by two men
and a constable back again through Rochdale,
where I had so lately lost my bitch and been so
very dirtily rolled in the gutter However,
these constable folks were mighty genteel and
modest, too, and as mute as moles, for we got
through the town with very little staring, and less
pumping, and were at the justice's in a crack.
Mary. O dear, Thomas I did not a halter run
strangely in your head : for something runs in
mine, as if it was full of ropes and pully-halls.
Tho. Why, look ye, Mary, I thought so plaguy
hard that I could think of nothing at all ; for see
thee me, I was frightened all sorts of ways. Still,
I'd one comfort always popped in my head; for

80 THE LANCAs HIRE DIALECT.
-
It’meh sell, I stown no horse, not I; on theaw
knows ot truth on honesty gooink “honteh hont,”
howd'm one onother's backs primely, on stom os
stiff os o gablock. -
Mea. True, Tummus, they're prime props at o
pinch, that's sartin. Boh Iyammer tº hear heavy
things turn'd eawt of eend of aw.
Tum. Theaws no peshunce, Meary; boh howd
te tung on theawst hear in o snift: for theaw mun
know, ottis some cunstable wur os preawd ot id
team poor Tum prisner, or if theaw'd tean o hare
on han hur eh the appern meet meaw; boh th’
gobbin ne'er considert of honging would naw be
cawd good spooart be ony body eh ther senses,
on wer enough fort’ edge o finer mon's teeth in
mine. Heawe'er he knockos bowdly ot justice's
dur, os if id ha hung it deawn. This fotcht o
preaw’d gruff felly eawt, whooa put us intº a pleck
we as money books an papers os a cart wou'd
howd. To this mon (whooa I soon perceiv't wur
th’ clark) th’ cunstable tow'd meh wofoo kese ;
an eh truth, Meary, I’r os gawmless os a goose,
on began o' whackering os if I’d stown o how
draight o' horses. Then this felly went eawt o
bit, on with him coom the justice, whooa I glen-
durt sooar, an thowt he favort owd John o' Dobs,
THE INTERPRETATION" 8}.
thinks I to myself, I've stolen no horse, not I; and
thou know'st that truth and honesty, going “hand
in hand,” hold up one another's backs primely,
and stand as stiff as an iron bar.
Mary. True, Thomas, they’re prime props at
a pinch, that’s certain. But I am anxious to hear
how things turned out at the end of all.
Tho. Thou'st no patience, Mary ; but hold thy
tongue and thou’lt hear in a minute ; for thou
must know this same constable was as proud that
he had taken poor Tom prisoner, as if thou’d
taken a hare and had it in thy apron just now ;
but the blockhead never considered that hanging
would not be called good sport by any body in
their senses, and was enough for to edge a finer
man’s teeth than mine. However, he knocked as
boldly at the justice’s door as if he would have
knocked it down. This fetch'd a proud, gruff
fellow out, who put us into a place with as many -
books and papers as a cart would hold. To this
man (who I soon perceived was the clerk) the con-
stable told my woful case; and in truth, Mary, I
was as stupid as a goose, and began a-trembling
as if I had stolen a whole draught of horses. Then
this fellow went out a bit, and with him came the
justice, whom I stared at sorely, and thought he

82 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
whoa theaw knows awlus wears a breawnish white
wig, ot hongs on his shilders like keaw-teals.
“Well, Mr. Cunstable,” sed justice, “whot han
ye brought me neaw?” “Why, pleeos yer wor-
ship, ween meet neaw tean o horse-steyler, whooa
wurmeying off with titos hard os he cou’d.” “Od,”
thought I’t meh seln, “neaw or never,” Tum !
speyke for the sell, or theawrt throttlt of tis very
beawt; so I speek up, an sed, “that’s naw true,
Mr. Justice: for I'r boh gooink of ot's pese.”
“Umph,” sed th’ justice, “there’s naw mitch dif-
ference as to that point. Heawe'er, howd teaw
the tung, yung mon, and speyk when theºrt spokkºn
to. Well, theaw mon ith breawn cooat, theaw!”
sed th’ justice, “whot has theaw to sey ogen this
felly here ! Is this tit thy tit, seys to?” “It is,
sur.” “ Here, clark, bring's that book, on lets
swear him.” Here th’justice sed onominy to 'im,
on towd 'im he munt tey kere owhot eh sed, or he
moot as helt be foresworn, or hong that yeawth
there. “Well, on theaw seys ot tis tit’s thy tit,
is it?” “It is, pleeos yer worship.” “On where
had teaw him, seys to?” “I bred im, sur.” “E
whot country?” “Cown-edge, sur.” “On when
wur he stown, seys to ?” “Last dey boh yuster-
day, abeawt three o’clock ith oandurth for eawr


THE INTERPRETATION. 83
favoured old John at Dobb's, who thou know'st
always wears a brownish white wig, that hangs on
his shoulders like cow-tails. “Well, Mr. Con
stable,” said the justice, “What have you brought
me now * “Why, please your worship, we’ve
just now taken a horse-stealer, who was making
off with a tit as hard as he could.” Odd, thought
I to myself, “now or never,” Tom! speak for thy-
self, or thou'lt be throttled at this very bout; so I
spake up, and said, “That's not true, Mr. Jus-
tice; for I was but going at a foot's pace.”
“Humph,” said the justice, “there’s not much
difference as to that point. However, hold thee
thy tongue, young man, and speak when thou’rt
spoken to. Well, thou man in the brown coat,
thou!” said the justice, “what hast thou to say
against this fellow here? Is this tit thy tit, say'st
thou?” “It is, sir.” “Here, clerk, bring us
that book, and let us swear him.” Here the justice
said a rigmarole to him, and told him he must take
care what he said, or he might as likely be fore-
sworn, and hang that youth there. “Well, and
thou say'st that this tit is thy tit, is it?” “It is,
please your worship.” “And where hadst thou
him, say'st thou?” “Ibred him, sir.” “In what
country (" “Coln-edge, sir.” “And when was


84 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
yem saigh 'im abeawt two, on we mist 'im abeawt
four o’clock.” “On fro Cown-edge, theaw seys ("
“Yus, sur.” Then the justice turn’d im to me,
on sed, “Is aw tis true ot this man seys, hears to
meh 7 “It is,” sed I, part on't; on part on't is
naw: for I did naw steyl this tit: nor ist oboon
two eawrs sin furst time ot ehbrad meh en on im.”
“Heaw coom theaw’t be riding owey wi'im then,
if theaw did maw steyl im?” “Why, o good deed,
sur; os I’r goink toart whom to dey, o felly wello
little reawnd hat, on o scrunt wig, cullur o yoars,
welly, boh shorter, o'ertook meh; he wur riding o
one tit on lad another. Neaw this mon seeink I’r
toyart, becose I went wigglety-wagglety ith lone,
he offer’t meh his lad tit tº ride on. I’r fene oth’
proffer, beleemy, on geet on: boh he rid off, whip
on spur, tho he cou’d hardly mey th’ tit keawnter,
on wou'd stey on meh ot on eleheawse ith road.
Naw, measter justice, I’d naw gon three-quarters
on o mile boh theese folk o’ertean meh; towd meh
I’d stown th’ tit, on neaw han brought meh hither,
os in I’r o ‘Yorshar horse-steyler.” On this is
aw true, master justice, or may I ne'er gut’ on ill
pleck when eh dee.”



THE INTERPRETATION, 85
he stolen, sayest thou?” “ Last day but yester-
day, about three o'clock in the afternoon; for our
Jem saw him about two, and we miss'd him about
four o'clock.” “And from Coln-edge* thou says *
“Yes, sir.” Then the justice turned him to me
and said, “Is all this true that this man says, hears
thou me !” “It is,” said I, “part of it, and part
of it is not : for I did not steal the tit; nor is it
above two hours since the first time I ever clapped
my eyes on it.” “How came thou to be riding
away with him, then, if thou did not steal him tº
“Why in good deed, sir, as I was going towards
home to-day, a fellow with a little round hat, and
a besom wig, the colour of yours, nearly, but
shorter, overtook me ; he was riding on one tit
and led another. Now this man, seeing I was
tired, because I went wigglety-wagglety' in the
lane, he offered me his led tit to ride on. I was
glad of the offer, believe me, and got on: but he
rode off, ‘whip and spur, though he could hardly
make the tit canter, and said he would stay for me
at an alehouse on the road. Now, master justice,
I had not gone three-quarters of a mile, but these
folks overtook me ; told me I had stolen the tit, and
now have brought me hither as if I was a ‘York-
shire horse-stealer.” And this is all true, master
* Near Pendle Hill, Lancashire.


86 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
Mea. Primely spok'n, efeath, Tummus! yo
meet “shad'n Wrynot” eh tellink this tele, think
I ; whot sed th’ justice then :
Tum. Whau, he sed, “hears to me ogen, theaw
yungster: tell meh where theaw wur tº other dey
boh yesterday, especially ith oandurth, will to ?”
“Whau,” sed I, “I seet eawt fro whoam soon ith’
yoandurth wit okeaw on a kawve for Ratchdaw;
meh kawve wur kilt ith’ lone, with o tit coak’n os
he coom ; on ith oandurth I’r aw up on deawn eh
this neighbourhood, dooink meh best tº sell meh
bitch ot fokcaw'dno bandyhewit, tº see if he cou’d
mey th’kawve-money up for me measter; but waes
me, e'ery-body wur gett’n fittut with um ! So I’r
kest into th’ dark, on force ’t stey ot Littlebrough
aw neet.” “On where wur to yusterday?” sed
justice. “Wheau,” sed I, “I maundert up on
deawn hereobeawtogen, oth' seme sleeveless arnt,
on wur forc’t harbour awth' last neet in o barn
where boggarts swarm’n (Lord bless us) on breedºn,
I believe ; for oytch body seys its never beawtum;
on to dey os I’r gooink whom Ileet othis felly ot
I took for a horse-jockey, on so wur team up be
these folk for a tit-steyler.” Boh hark the meh,

THE INTERPRETATION. 87
justice, or may I never go to an ill place when I
die.” -
Mary. Primely spoken in faith, Thomas, you
might “out shadow Wry 7ot”* in telling this tale,
think; but what said the justice, then :
Tho. Why, he said, “hear thou me again, thou
youngster | tell me where thou was the other day
but yesterday, especially in the afternoon, wilt
thou?” “Why,” said I, “I set out from home
soon after morning with a cow and a calf for Roch-
dale; my calf was killed in the lane with a tit’s
kicking, as I came ; in the afternoon I was up and
down in this neighbourhood, doing my best to sell
my bitch that the folks called a bandyhewit, to see
if I could make the calf money up for my master :
but woe's me, every body had got supplied with
them. So I was cast in the dark, and forced to
stay at Littleborough all night.” “And where
was thou yesterday !” said the justice. “Why,”
said I, “I wandered up and down here again on
the same sleeveless errand, and was forced to
shelter all last night in a barn where ghosts swarm
(Lord bless us) and breed too, I believe, for each
body says it's never without them; and to-day as
I was going home I lighted on this fellow, that I
took for a horse-jockey, and so was taken up by
* A vulgar cant term. Wide Glossary.
88: THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
theaw prisoner,” sed th’ justice, “wur naw theaw
here tother dey boh yusterday wi' the dog, pre-
thee?” “I wur sur; boh yoad'n naw buy hur, for
yoarn fittut too.” “Whot time oth dey moot it
be, thinks to ?” “Between three on four o’clock,”
sed I. “ Beleemy mon, I think theawºrt oather
greeave or greeaveby,” sedhe. “Here, yo master
cumstable, follow me.” Neaw, Meary, whot dust
think? boh while theese two wur eawt obit, this
teastril, this tyke of o clark, caw’d me aside an
proffert bring meh clear off for have o ginney.
Seys I, “ mon, if I knew a hawter munt mey meh
neck os long os o gonner neck to morn, I cou’d
naw rease hoave a ginney for hong'd or naw
hong'd I ha' maw one hawp'ney tº seve meh neck
wi.” “Boh,” Seys he, “wilt gi’ the note for’t tº
“I’ll gi’ no notes, not I; for I’d os good tº be
hong'd for this job, ost steyl on be hong'd for
that; on I no other wey tº rease it boh steyling ot
I know on.”
Mea. Good Lord o marcy moor rogues on
moor! neaw awt upo' aw sitch teastrils for ever on
o dey lunger, sey I.
Tum. Hustt, hustt, Meary; for neaw th’justice
an th’ cunstable coom in.

THE INTERPRETATION. 89
these folks for a tit stealer.” “But, harkye me,
thou prisoner " said the justice, “was not thou
here the other day but yesterday with thy dog,
prithee?” “I was, sir, but you would not buy
her, for you was fitted too.” “What time of the
day do you think it might be, think you ?” “Be-
tween three and four o’clock,” said I. “ Believe
me, man, I think thou’rt there or thereabout,” said
he. “ Here, you master constable, follow me.”
Now, Mary, what do you think? but while those
two were out a bit, this cunning rogue, this tyke
of a clerk, called me on one side, and proffered
to bring me clear off for half a guinea. Says I,
“ man, if I knew a halter must make my neck as
long as a gander's neck to-morrow morning, I
could not raise half a guinea for hanged or not
hanged I have not one halfpenny to save my neck
with.” “But,” says he, “will you give your note
for it?” “I’ll give no note, not I; for I’d as good
be hanged for this job, as steal to be hanged for
that, and I have no other way of raising it but
stealing as I know of.”
Mary. Good lord have mercy more rogues
and more; now out upon all such cunning chaps
for ever and a day longer, say I.
Th9, Husht! husht! Mary, for now the consta-
ble and justice came in.

90 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
Mea. E law, I’ll be hong'd meh seln if he dun-
naw dither for fear: boh go forrud, Tummus.
Tum. Why, th’justice, after rubbing his broo
on droying his fease deawn, sed, “here, yo measter
cunstable, on yo fellow of owns this tit, I mun tell
ye, that yore booath ith' rang box, an han gett’n
th' rang soo by th’ yeer; for this youngster here
cou’d naw steyl this tit th’ last oandurth boh one,
for between three on four o’clock that dey I seed
him here me sell, on yo sen this tit wur stown
fro’ Cown-edge obeawt that time ; meaw he cou’d
naw bee eh two plecks of one time, yo known. So
hears to meh, yung mon, I mum quit thee as to this
job; so go the wey whoam, on be onnest.” “I
will,” sed I, “ on thonks, measter justice, for yoan
pood truth eawt on o durty pleck of lunglength.”
So I mede im o low bow, on a greyt scroap weh
meh shoough, on coom mey wey.
Mea. Brevely cumn off, Tum. / eigh, on merrily
too, I'll uphowd o'. Neaw een God bless aw
honest justices, sey I.
Tum. Eigh, eigh; on so sey I too: for I’d good
luck ot heel of aw, or Tum had naw bin here t'a
towd teh this tele. Boh yet, Meary, I think eh
meh guts ot teers meawse-neezes omung some on
um, os weel os omung other fok; or why shou'd tis
-
-

THE INTERPRETATION. 91
Mary. Eh lawſ I’ll be hanged myself if I do
not quake for fear; but go forward, Thomas.
Tho. Why, the justice, after rubbing his brow
and drawing his face down, said, “Hear, you mas-
ter constable, and you fellow that owns this tit,
I must tell you you’re both in the wrong box, and
have got the wrong sow by the ear; for this young-
ster here could not steal this tit the last afternoon
but one; for between three and four o’clock that
day I saw him here myself, and you say this horse
was stolen from Coln-edge about that time; now
he could not be at two places at one time, you
know. So harkye me, young man, I must acquit
thee as to this job; so go thy ways home, and be
honest.” “I will,” said I, “ and thanks, master
justice, for you’ve pulled truth out of a dirty place
at long-length.” So I made him a low bow, and
a great scrape with my shoe, and came away.
Mary. Bravely come off, Tom, aye, and merrily
too, I’ll uphold you. Now e'en God bless all
honest justices, say I.
Tho. Aye, aye, and so say I too, for I had good
luck at the heel of all, or Tom had not been here
to have told this tale. But yet, Mary, I think in
my guts, there's mouses’ nests, or knavish tricks
among some of them, as well as other folk; or why










92 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT
seme clark o his, when he perceiv't I’r innocent,
proffert bring meh off for hawve o ginney : Had
maw this o' strung savor of fere cheeoting ; ne
deawn-reet nipping o' poor fokº On does teaw
think of tees justices do naw know, when these
tykes plene o hundurt wur tricks thin this in o
yeer : Beside, Meary, I hard that fawse felly
Dick o' Yem's o owd Harry's sey, ot he kneaw
some on um of went snips witheese caterpillars
their clarks: on if so, shou'd they naw be hugg’d
oth’ seme back, on scutcht with seme rod wi'ther
clarks, hears to me?
Mea. Now, now, not tey marry : for if sitch
things munt be done greadly, on osteh aught to
bee, th’ bigger rascot shou’d ha’ th’ bigger smacks,
on moor on um, yo known, Tummus. Boh greyt
fok oft dun who te win wit littleons, reet or rank,
whot kere’n they. So let’s leedf sitch to mend
when the con hit on’t: on neaw tell meh heavy ye
went’m on wither measter?
Tum. Eigh by th’ miss, Meary, I'd freedt'n that!
Why then theaw mun know, eh sitch o kese os tat
I’d no skuse to mey, for I towd im heavthi kawve
wur kilt ith’ lone: on ot I’d sowd the hoyde for
throtteen-pence. On then, I cou’d tell im no
moor, for he mipt up the deashom, of stoode oth’
THE INTERPRETATION. 93
should this same clerk of his, when he perceived i
was innocent, proffer to bring me off for half a
guinea: Had not this a strong savour of fair
cheating; nay, downright biting of poor folk :
And dost thou think that justices do not know
when these tykes play a hundred worse tricks than
this in the year? Besides, Mary, I heard that
false fellow Dick o'Jem's at old Harry’s say, that
he knew some of them that went snacks with these
caterpillars, their clerks; and if so, should they
not be horsed on the same back and whipt with
the same rod as their clerks; hears thou me?
Mary. No, no, not they, marry; for if such
things must be done correctly and as they ought
to be, the bigger rogues should have the heavier
smacks and more of them, ye know, Thomas. But
great folks often do what they will, with little ones,
right or wrong, what care they. So let’s leave
such to mend when they can hit upon it: and now
tell me, how you went on with your master
Tho. Aye, by the mass, Mary, I’d forgotten
that! Why then, thou must know, in such a case
as that I had no excuse to make, so I told him
how the calf was killed in the lane; aud that I
had sold the hide for thirteenpence, and then I
could tell him no more; for he snatched up the
º





94 THE LANCAshire DIALECT.
harstone, on whirld it at meh : boh estid o hitting
me, it hit th’ reeam-mug of stoode oth’ hob; on
keywt awth reeam into th’ foyar: then th’ battril
coom, on whether it lawmt th' barn ot wur ith’
keather I know naw, for I laſt it rooaring on bell-
ing; so os I’r scamp'ring awey, eaw'r Seroh asht
meh “ where e wou'd gooa” I towd'r “ ot
Nitko oth' farmer's greyr leath wur next, an I’d
go thither.”
Mea. Of awth' spots ith ward, there wou'd not
I ha com’n for a yepsintle a ginneys.
Tum. I geawse theaw meeqns becose folk sen
boggarts awlus hawntit it: boh theaw knows I’r
wickitly knockt up, and force is meds'n for a mad
dog,
Mea. It matters naw; it wou’d never ha sunk’n
os I towd te afore.
into me ta harbort there.


THE INTERPRETATION. 95
poker that stood on the hearth-stone, and whirled
it at me: but instead of hitting me it hit the cream-
mug that stood on the hob of the grate, and turned
all the cream into the fire: then the batting staff
came, and whether it lamed the child that was in
the cradle I know not, for I left it roaring and bel-
lowing; so as I was scampering away Sarah asked
me, “where I would go?” I told her “ that old
Nick's, in the farmer's great barn, was the next
place, and I would go thither.”
Mary. Of all the spots in the world, there would
not I have gone, not for two heaped handfuls of
guineas' -
Tho. I guess thou means because folks say
ghosts always haunt it: but thou knows I was
wickedly knocked up, and force is medicine for a
mad dog, as I told thee before. -
Mary. It matters not; it would never have sunk
into me to have harboured there.

SCENE VII.
I’d as leaven be kilt, as freet'n'd to depth/
—º-
TUMMUs and MEARY.
Tum. WELL, but I went ; an just as Iºr gett'n
to th’ leath dur, whooa shou’d e meet boh Yed
o'Jeremy’s, their new mon.
Mea. That leet weel; for Yed's as greadly o
lad as needs tº knep oth hem of a keke.
Tum. True; so I towd immeh kese e short, an
sooary he lookt too-to. “I wish e durst lette lye
we me,”
sed he: ‘‘ but as I boh coom to Wun.
here this dey senmit, I dare naw venter : but I’ll
shew thee a prime mough o hey, an theaw mey do
meeterly frowt I know.” “Thattle doo,” sed I,
“shew it me, for I’m stark an ill done.” So while
he’ur shewing it me with scoance, he sed, “I sum-
mot tell thee Tºm, boh I’m loath tº “ Theavy
meedns obeawt boggarts,” sed I, “but I’m lik’t
-


( 97 )
-
-
SCENE VII.
* -
I’d as soon be killed, as frightened to death !
- -
T
THOMAS and MARy.
Tho. WELL, but I went ; and just as I was
getting into the barn door, who should I meet but
Ned at Jeremy’s, their new man
Mary. That lighted well; for Ned's as hand-
some a lad as needs to bite at the edge of a wed-
ding cake.
Tho. True ; so I told him my case in short,
and sorry he looked to know it. “I wish I durst
let thee lay with me,” said he ; “but as I but
come to live here this day se’night, I dare not ven-
ture: but I’ll show thee a prime mow of hay, and
thou may’st do worse for ought I know.” “That
will do,” said I, “show it me, for I’m stiff and
badly tired.” So while he was showing it me
with the lanthorn, he said, “I’ve somewhat to tell
thee, Tom, but I’m loath !” “Thou mean'st about



98 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
venter.” “Theaws meet hit it,” sed he; “an
con tell the, I cou’d like meh pleck primely but
for that: heave'er as th’ tits mun eawt very yarly,
I mun provon um o beawt one o'clock, an I’ll
cawt, see heavy tha goes on.” “’Shlid,” sed I,
“if theaw mun eawt so yarly, I’ll fodder an pro-
ven the tits for the, an theaw mey sleep, intle ley
th’ proven ready.” Then he shew'd me heavy th’
mough wur cut with a hey-knife, hawve wey
deawn like a great step, on that I moot come off
yeasily o that side: so we bid tone t'other good
meet. I’r boh meet sattlt when eh heard summot
ith leath. Good-lorjus, Meary, meh flosh crept
o meh booans, on meh yeears crackt ogen weh
hark’ning ! Presently I heard somebody caw
sawfly, “ Tummus Tummus ! Tummus * I
knew th’ voice, an sed, “Whooas tattee Seroh!”
“Eigh,” sed hoo, “an I stown a lyte wetur-
podditch, an some thrutchings, and a treacle-
butter-keke, if eh con eyght um.” “Fear me
not,” sed I, “for I’m as hongry as a rottºn.”
“Whau mitch-go-deet owith um,” sed hoo: “an
yo mey come on begin, for they need'n no keel-
ing.” Neaw I’re sitch o flunter e getting to th’
wark, of I’d freeatºn th’ spot ot Yet towd me on;
so I feell deawn off th’ heest side oth’ mough, and


THE INTERPRETATION. 99
ghosts,” said I, “but I’m like to venture.”
“Thou'st just hit it,” said he “ and I can tell
thee I could like my place primely but for that:
however, as the horses must be out very early,
I must provender them about one o'clock, and I’ll
call and see how thou goes on.” “’Sblood,” says
I, “if thou must out so early, I’ll fodder and pro-
vender the tits for thee, and thou may’st sleep, if
thou’lt lay the provender ready.” Then he
showed we how the mow was cut by a hay-knife,
half-way down like a great step, and that I might
come offeasily on that side: so we bid one another
“good night.” I’d but just settled myself, when
I heard something in the barn! Good gracious,
Mary, my flesh crept on my bones, my ears
cracked again with hearkening! Presently I*
heard somebody call softly, “ Thomas' Thomas!.
Thomas " I knew the voice, and said, “Who’s
that ? thee, Sarah?” “Ay,” said she “ and I’ve
stolen a light water-porridge, and some whey
custard, and a treacle butter-cake, if thou can'st
eat them.” “ Fear me not,” said I, “ for I’m as
hungry as a rat.” “Why much good may do you
with them,” said she “ and you may come and
begin, for they need no cooling.” Now I was in
such a fluster to get to the work, that I’d forgotten

F 2
100 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
sitch a floose o hey follut me, ot it driv meh shiar
deawn, an Seroh with meyt inner hont, o top o me
an quite hill'd us booath.
Mea. Cotsflesh, this wur a nice trick oth’ bookth
on’t, wur it naw Ż
Tum. Eigh, sot' wur; boh it leet weell atth’
podditch wur naw scawding; for when we’dºn
mede shift to heyve an creep fro underth' hey,
some oth podditch I fund had dawbt up tone o
meh neem ; thrutchings wur’m shed oth weastbant
o meh breeches, an th’ treacle butter-keke stickt
to Seroh's brat. Heawe'er, weh scrawming abeawt
ith dark, we geete up whot we cou’d, an I eet it
snap ; for beleemy, Meary, I’r so keen bitt'n I mede
no bawks at o heyseed. So while I’r busy cadg-
ing mey wen), hoo tow'd me hoo lipp’nt hur fea-
ther wur turn’d strackling, an if I went whom
agen Is’t be e dawnger o being breant: that me
deme wou’d ha me,tº run, for I shou’d be lose ot
Feersuns-een, on it matter’t maw mitch. I thowt
this wur good keawsil, so I geet Seroh tº fotch me
meh tother sark: hoo did so, an I thankt 'ur, bid
farewell, an so we partit. I soon sattlt meh sell
ith mough under a floose o hey, an slept so weel



THE INTERPRETATION. 101
-
the spot that Ned told me of; so I fell down on
the east side of the mow, and such a wisp of hay
followed me, that it drove me straight down on
Sarah with the meat in her hand, on the top of
me, and fairly covered us both.
Mary. Sflesh, but this was a mice trick in the
bulk of the hay, wasn’t it?
Tho. Ay, so it was; but it happened well that
the porridge wasn't scalding; for when we'd made
shift to heave and creep from under the hay, some
of the porridge I found had daubed up to my
eyes, the whey was shed over my breeches, and
the treacle butter-cake stuck to Sarah’s brat.
However, with scrambling about in the dark, we
got up what we could, and I eat it quickly; for
believe me, Mary, I was so sharp set I made no
hesitation at a hay-seed. So whilst I was busy
stuffing my guts, she told me how she expected
her father was turned mad, and if I went home
again I should be in danger of being burnt; that
my mistress would have me to run, for that I
should have served my time out at Shrovetide, and
that it mattered not much. I thought this was
good counsel, so I got Sarah to fetch me my other
shirt : she did so, and I thanked her, bid farewell,
and so we parted. I soon settled myself in the


102 The LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
ot when e wack’nt I’r feerd ot. I’d o'er sleept me
sell, on cou’d naw provom th’ tits e time.
Mea. It wur weel for yo ot e cou’d’n sleep at
aw, for I'st ne'er ha lede meh een tºgether I’m
shure.
Tum. Whau, but I startit up to go to th’ tits,
and slurr'd deawn to th’ lower part oth mough;
and by the maskins-lord, whot dust to think?—
boh I leet hump stridd’n up o summot ot feld
meety hewry, an it startit up weh me on its back,
(Meary much freeten’d here,) deawn th’ lower
part oth heymugh it jumpt; erost tºleath; eawt
oth dur wimmy it took; an into th’ watering-poo,
as if the deel o hell had driv'n it ! there it threw
me in, or I feel off. I connaw tell whether for th’
life on meh. -
Mea. Whoo-who, whoo-who, whoo! whot ith’
name o God winneh sey ! : -
Tum. Sey !—why I sey, true as tº gospil: an I’r
so freet’nt I wur war set to get éawt (if possible)
in e wur when Nip an me fell off th’ bridge.
Mea. I never heard sitch teles sin meh neme
wur Mall, nor no mon elze, think I



THE INTERPRETATION. 103
mow under a shock of hay, and slept so well, that
when I awakened I was afraid I had overslept
myself, and could not provender the beasts in
time.
Mary. It was well for you, you could sleep at
all, for I should never have laid my eyes together,
I’m sure. In ºn
Tho. Well, but I started up to go to the tits,
and slided down to the lower part of the mow ;
and by the mass, what dost thou think?—but I
fell astride with my legs on something that felt
mighty hairy, and it started up with me on its
pack, (Mary much agitated here,) down the lower
part of the hay-mow it jumped; cross the barn;
out of the door with me it took; and into the
watering pool it took me, as if the devil in h- had
driven it! there it threw me in, or I fell off, I can-
not tell which for the life of me.
Mary, Oh! oh! oh! oh! what in the name of
goodness will you say!
Tho. Say!—why I say, it's true as the Gospel;
and I was so frightened that I was worse puzzled
to get out (if possible) than I was when Nip and
me fell off the bridge. -
Mary. I never heard such tales since my name
was Mary, nor no one else, think I

104 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. Teles!—udds bud, takum awt gether an
theyd'n welly mey a mont ston oth' wrangeend.
Mea. Well! but wur it Owd Nick, think’n eb,
or it wur naw Ż -
Tum. I hete to tawk on"t, wilt howd te tung?
but if it wur maw Owd Nick, he wur th' orderer
on’t, to be shure!
Mea. Why, Tummus, pre’o' whot wur it?
Tum. Blees meh, Meary theawrt so yearnstful
otteaw’ll naw let meh tell meh tele. Why, I did
maw know me sell whot it wur of an eawr, if eh
know yet! -
Mea. Well, boh heavy went yo on then 7
Tum. Whau, weh mitch powlering I geete eawt
oth poo; an be meh troth, lieve meh as to list, I
could naw tell whether I’r in a sleawm or wak'n,
tilleh groapt at meh neen: an us I’r resolv'd to
come no moor ith leath, I crope under a wough,
and stoode like a gawmbling, or a perfect meatril,
till welly dey; an just then Ned coom.
- . . . . . . .
Mea. That wur passing weel, considering th’
kese or yoar’n in. -
Tum. True, lass : for I think I’r never feaner
tº see nobody sin I’rkersunt.





- THE INTERPRETATION, 105
Tho. Tales —odds bobs! take 'em altogether
and they would nearly make a man stand on the
wrong end.
Mary. Well! but was it Old Nick, think you,
or was it not 7 -
Tho. I hate to talk of it; wilt thou hold thy
tongue? But if it was not Old Nick, he had the
ordering of it to be sure l -
Mary. Why, Thomas, prithee what was it?
Tho. Bless me, Mary, thou’rt so anxious that
thou’lt not let me tell my tale. Why I did not
know myself what it was for an hour, if I know
yet !
Mary. Well, but how went you on then :
Tho. Well, with much struggling I got out of
the pool; and by my troth, believe me as you like,
I could not tell whether I was in a dream or
awake, till I felt at my eyes: and as I was re-
solved to go no more into the barn, I crept under
the wall and stood like a trembling fool, or a per-
fect natural, till near day; and just then Ned
Caille. - -
Mary. That was passing well, considering the
case that you were in.
Tho. True, lass; for I think I had never more
pleasure in seeing anybody since I was christened.



F 5
106 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Mea. Whot sed. Yed?
Tum. Why, he heeve up his honds, an he
blest, an he prey’d, an mede sich marlocks, that
if I’d naw bin eh that wofo pickle, I'st a bross’n
weh leavhing. Then he asht meh heavy I coom
tº be so weet? and why e stoode teer : an sitch
like. I towd him I cou’d gi no okeawnt o meh
sell; boh that I’r carrit eawt oth leath be Owd
Nick, as I thowt
Mea. I'd awlus a notion whot it wou’d prove
ith heel of aw ||
Tum. Pre'the howd te tung a bit, theaw puts
me eawt. I towd im I thowt it wur Owd Nick;
for it wur vast strung, very hewry, and meety
swift /
Mea. E, what a greyt marcy it is yore where
year, Tummus !
Tum. Eigh, Meary, so’t is ; for it’s moor in I
expectit. Boh theawst hear. Yed wur so flay'd
weh that bit at I'd towd im, of he geete meh by
th' hont, an sed, “ Come, Tummus ! let's flit fro
this pleck; for my part I’ll naw stey one minnit
lenger.” Sed I, “Iftle fotch me sark eawt oth’
leath, I’ll geaw with the.” “Ney !” sed he, “that
I’ll never do, while my nemes Yed!” “Whau,”
sed I, “ then I’m like to goa beawt it!” “ Dun-




THE INTERPRRTATION. 107
-
Mary. What said Ned?
Tho. Why, he hove up his hands, and he blest
himself, and he prayed, and he made such antics,
that if I had not been in that woful pickle, I
should have burst with laughing. Then he asked
how I came to be so wet? and why I stood there?
and such like. I told him I could give no account
of myself; but that I was carried out of the barn
by Old Nick, as I thought !
Mary. I had always a notion it would prove so,
in the end of all!
Tho. Prithee hold thy tongue a bit, thou puts
me out. I told him I thought it was Old Nick;
for it was vastly strong, very hairy, and mighty
swift'
Mary. What a great mercy it is you are where
you are, Thomas
Tho. Ay, Mary, so it is ; for it’s more than I
expected. But thou’lt hear. Ned was so cut up
with that bit that I told him, that he got me by
the hand, and said, “ Come, Thomas ! let's fly
from this place; for my part I’ll not stay one
minute longer.” Said I, “If you'll fetch my shirt
out of the barn, I'll go with thee.” “Nay!” said
he “ that I’ll never do, while my name's Ned!”
“Well,” said I, “ then I’m like to go without it!”

108 “I HE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
maw trouble the nob abeawt tat; I two o whoam,
an I’ll gi’ the th' tone; come, let’s get off,” sed
he. So were n marching awey; but, before wedin
gon five rood, I seed summut an seete up a greyt
reedk, (for I thowt I’d seen Nick agen, Lord
bless us!) Seys Yed, “Whot ar to breed we
neaw, Tummus * I pointit th’ finger, an sed,
* Is naw tatte dule?” “Which?” sed he. “That,
under th’ hedge,” sed I. “Now, now, naw hit;
that’s eawer yung cowt ot lies reawt,” sed Yed.
“The dickons it is l’’ sed I; “ boh I think emeh
guts ot that carrit me eawt oth leath !” Then
Yed axt meh if th’ dur wur opp'n ; I towd im I
thought it wur. “But I’m shure I toynt it,” sed
Yed. “That moot be,” sed I; “ for after theaw
laſt me, eawr Seroh browt me meh supper an hoo
moot leeave it oppºn.” “By th’ miss!” sed Yed,
“if so, Tum, this very cowtill prove th' boggart!
Let's into the leath an see, for it’s naw, so dark
as’t wur.” “With aw meh heart,” sed I; “boh
let's stick toth’ tone tother’s hond then.” A
thissºn we went into th’ leath; and by meh truth,
Meary, I know naw whot think; there wur a yep-
sintle a cowt tooarts upoth’ lower part oth' hey-
mough, an th’ pleck where it had leyn, as plene as
a pike-staff. But still, ift' wur hit ot carrit meh,


THE INTERPRETATION. 109
“Do not trouble thy head about that; I’ve two
at home, and Ill give thee one ; come let us be
off,” said he. So we were marching away, but,
before we had got five roods, I saw something,
and set up a great shriek, (for I thought I had
seen Old Nick again, Lord bless us!) Says Ned,
“What art thou in egg with now, Thomas” I
pointed my finger, and said, “Is not that the
devil?” “Which tº said he. “That, under the
hedge,” said I. “No, no, not it; that’s our young
colt, that lays out,” said Ned. “ The deuce it
is ſº said I; “ but I think in my guts, it was that
which carried me out of the barn.” Then Ned
asked me if the door was open ; I told him I
thought it was. “But I’m sure I closed it,”
said Ned. “That might be,” said I; “ for
after thou left me, our Sarah brought me my
supper, and she might leave it open.” “ By
the mass!” said Ned, “if so, Tom, this very colt
will prove to be the ghost! Let’s into the barn
and see, for it’s not so dark as it was.” “With
all my heart,” said I. On this we went into the
barn ; and by my troth, Mary, I know not what to
think; there was two handfuls of colt's dung upon
the lower part of the hay-mow, and the place
where it had lain as plain as a pike-staff. But still,
if it was it that carried me, I marvel how I could
-



110 THE LANCAsHIRE DIALECT.
I marvil heav I cou’d stick on so lung, it wureh
sitch a hurrey to get awey!
Mea. Whot te firrups it signifies nowt, for
whether ye stickt on, or feel off, I find that eawr
Owd Nick wur th’ cowt at lies reawt.
Tum. Whau, I connaw sey a deedl abeawt it,
it looks likely, as teaw seys: but if this wur not a
boggart, I think there never wur none, if teydºn
bin reetly sifted into.
Mea. Marry, I’m mitch eh yore mind,-but
hark ye, did neh leet o' yer sark?
Tum. Eigh, eigh; I height eh meh pocket, se
the, for its boh meet neaw at eh took me leave
o Yed, on neaw theaw sees I’m running meh
country.
Mea. On whot dunneh think tº doo?
Tum. I think tº be an ostler; for I con mex'n,
keem, on fettle tits, os weel os onny one on um
aw, tho’ theaw mey think its gawstring.
E law, whot o
cank han we had I mennaw eem tº stey onney
Mea. Ney, I con believe o'
lunger. God be with of for I mum owey.
Tum. Howd:—Ney, Meary, le meh ha one
smeawtch of parting, for theawºrt none sich of aw
whean nother.
Mea. Ney, neaw,-so, Tummus, go teaW On
slaver Seroh o'Ratchot’s in ye bin so kipper.

THE INTERPRETATION. 111
stick on so long, it was in such a hurry to get
away !
Mary. What the deucel it signifies nought,
for whether you stuck on, or fell off, I find that
our Old Nick was the colt that lies out.
Tho. Why, I cannot say a deal about it; it does
look likely, as thou says: but if this was not a
sprite, I think there never was none, if they had
been rightly sifted into.
Mary. Marry, I'm much of your mind, but
hark ye, did you not light of your shirt'
Tho. Ay, ay; I have it in my pocket, look
thee, for it’s but just now I took my leave of Ned,
and now thou sees I’m running my country.
Mary. And what do you think to do?
Tho. I think to be an ostler, for I can mixen,
comb, and dress horses, as well as any of them all,
although thou may think it's boasting.
Mary. Nay, I can believe you—Eh law, what
a talk we have had, I have not time to stay any
longer. God be with you; for I must away.
Tho. Hold! Pray, Mary, let me have one kiss
at parting, for thou’rt not such an ugly one nei-
ther. -
Mary. Nay, now, so, Thomas, go away and
slobber Sarah at Ratchot's, if you are so fond.


1] 2 THE LANCASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. Why neaw, heavy spytfoo theaw art 2
Whot in o body doo like Seroh there's no body
boh the lik'n somebody.
Mea. Eigh, true, Tummus ; boh then sometimes
somebody likes somebody elzel
Tum. I geawse whot te meons: for theawrt
glenting ot tat flopper meawth’t gob-slotch Bill
o’ Owd Katty's : becose of folk sen Seroh hankers
after im. I marvil whot te dule hoo con see in
him : I'm mad at hur !
Mea. Like enough ; for its o feaw life tº luff
those ot luff”n other fok: boh yoar o niny hom-
mer tº heed ºur ; for there’s none sitch farrantly
£awk abeawt’rl
Tum. Why, whot done they say :
Mea. I mennaw tell: beside yoan haply tey’t
non so weel in o body shou’d.
Tum. Whaw, I connaw be angurt ot tee, chez
whot tey seys, os lung os to boh harms after other
fok.
Mea. Why then, they sen, ot hoos o mawkinly
dagg’d a-st, wisktelºt wheam; on-on-
Tum. On whot, Meary: Speyk eawt.
Mea. Why, to be plene with o, tey sen ot hur
moother took Bill o Owd Katty's on hur eh bed
tºgether, last Sunday morning.
THE INTERPREſ ATION. 113
Tho. Why now how spiteful thou art? What
can a body do, if he likes Sarah : there’s nobody
but likes somebody.
Mary. Ay, true Thomas; but then sometimes
somebody likes somebody else
Tho. I guess what thou means; for thou'rt look-
ing after that blubber-lip'd blockhead Bill at old
Katty's : because that folks say Sarah hankers
after him. I marvel what the devil she can see in
him : I’m mad at her.
Mary. Like enough; for it’s a weary life to
love those that love other people: but you are a
silly fellow to heed her; for there’s none such de-
cent talk about her |
Tho. Why, what do they say?
Mary. I musn't tell; perhaps you might hap-
pen to take it mone so well if a body should.
Tho. Why, I cannot be angry at thee, chuse
what thou says, as long as thou but speaks after
other folk.
Mary. Why then, they say, she's a dirty drag-
gle-tailed quean; and—and—
Tho. And what, Mary 2 Speak out.
Mary. Why, to be plain with you ; they say
her mother took this Bill in bed with her last
Sunday morning.

114 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT.
Tum. E—the dev–(good Lord bless us) is tat
true 2
Mea. True! heavy should it be otherways, for
hur moother wur crying on soughing to me deme
last Munday year durth obeawt it.
Tum. 'Sflesh, Mearyſ I’m fit cruttle deawn in-
to th’ yeoarth: I’d leefer o team forty eawls!
Mea. Why luck it neaw; I’m een sooary for’t:
God help it, will it topple o'er 2 munneh howd it
heedd while it heart brasts obit?
Tum. E., Meary; theaw little gawms heavy it
thrutches me plucks! for if tº did, theaw’d naw
mey sitch o hobbilon meh,
Mea. Neaw eh meh good troth, I con heardly
howd meh unlaight, tº see heavy fast yore en luff’s
clutches | Boh I thowt I’d try o.
Tum. Meary, whot dus to meeon.
Mea. Why I towd o parcil o thumping lies o
purpose to pump or
Tum. The dickons tey the, Meary—whot on
awkert whean ar teaw! whot teh plague did tº flay
meh o thiss’n far ! theawrt o wheant lass—I’d
leefer ogon the arnt forty mile.
Mea. Eigh, o hundurt, rether than o had it o
bin true: but I thowt I’d try o



THE INTERPRETATION. , 115
Th9. The dev–, (Good Lord bless us!) is that
true? *
Mary. True! how should it be otherwise, for
her mother was crying and sobbing to my mistress
last Monday afternoon about it.
Tho. 'Sflesh, Mary! I’m ready to sink down
into the earth : I’d rather have taken forty owls!
Mary. Why look ye now; I'm even sorry for
it: God help it, will it tumble o'er' must I hold
its head whilst its heart breaks a bit 2
Tho. Ah, Mary; thou little knows how it hurts
my feelings for if thou did, thou’d not make a
fool of me.
Mary. Now in my good truth, I can hardly
keep from laughing, to see how fast thou art in
love's clutches! but I thought I'd try you.
Tho. Mary, what dost thou mean? -
Mary. Why, I told a parcel of thumping lies
on purpose to pump you.
Tho. The deuce take thee, Mary—what an
awkward wench art thou! what the plague didst
thou flee me alive this way for thou art a comical
lass—I’d rather have gone the errant forty miles.
Mary. Ay, a hundred, rather than had it been
true; but I thought I'd try thee.

I 16 THE LAN CASHIRE DIALECT,
-
Tum. Well; on if I dunnaw try thee, titter or
latter, ittle be o marvel ! º
* Mea. It's o greyt marcy yo connow doot neaw
for cruttling deawn—Boh I mun owey: for if
meh deme be cumn whoam there'll be ricking.—
Well, think on ot yoad'n rether ha tene forty
eawls l (laughing.)
Tum. I’s think on of teaw looks obit whisky,
chez whot Seroh o Rutchots is.
Mea. I heard um sey ot gexing's o kint lying,
on of proof oth’ pudding's ith’ eyghting.—So fere
weel, Tummus. -
Tum. Meary, fere the well heartily; on gi’ meh
luff to Seroh, let’t leet heavt will. -
Mea. Winneh forgi’ meh then? º
Tum. By th’ Miss well eh, Meary, froth' bothum
O me CrOp.

THE INTERPRETATION. - 117
-
Tho Well; and if I do not try thee sooner or
later it will be a marvel! -
Mary. It’s a great mercy you can’t do it now
without stooping down--But I must away : for if
my dame be come home there’ll be scolding.—
Well, think on that, thou’d rather have taken forty
owls! (laughing.)
Tho. I think that thou looks a bit waggish,
chuse whatever Sarah at Ratchot’s is.
Mary. I heard 'em say that guessing's a kin to
lying, and that proof of the pudding is in the eat-
ing.—So farewell Thomas.
Tho. Mary, fare thee well heartily ; and give
my love to Sarah, let it happen how it will.
Mary. Will you forgive me, then :
Tho. By the Mass, will I, Mary, from the bot-
tom of my heart?


OBSERVATIONS,
WHICH MAY BE USEFUL TO THOSE WHO ARE
STRANGERS TO THE LANCASHIRE PRONUNCIA-
TION.
IN some places in Lancashire we sound a instead
of 0, and 0 instead of a. For example, we say
far, instead of for ; shart, instead of short ; and
again, we say hort, instead of heart; and port,
instead of part ; hont, instead of hand, &c.
Al and all are generally sounded broad; as,
aw (or o) for all; haw (or ho) for hall; Awmeety,
for Almighty; awlus, for always, &c.
In some places we sound k, instead of g; as,
think, instead of thing; wooink, for wooing, &c.
The letter d at the end of words, and the ter-
minationed, are often changed into t , as, behint,
for behind; wynt, for wind; awkert, for awk-
ward; awtert, for altered, &c.
In some parts it is common to sound ow and ow
as a as, tha, for thou; ka (or ca) for cow. In


( 120 )
-
other places we sound the ou and ow as eu ; as,
theaw; for thou ; keaw, for cow ; heavse, for
house; meawse, for mouse.
The Saxon termination en is generally re-
tained, but mute; as, hat'n, lov'n, desir'n, think'n,
boughtºn, &c.
In general we speak quick and short; and cut
off a great many letters, and even words, by apos-
- trophes; and sometimes sound two, three, or more
words as one. For instance, we say, I’ll got' (or
I'll gut') for I'll go to ; runt’, for run to ; hoost,
for she shall; intle (or int'll) for if thou will ; 1
wou’didd’n, for I wish you would, &c.
But as trade in a general way has now flou-
rished for near a century, the inhabitants not only
travel, but encourage all sorts of useful learning;
so that among hills, and places formerly unfre-
quented by strangers, the people begin, within the
few years of the author's observations, to speak
much better English, if it can properly be called
SO, -
joHN COLLIER.



GLoss ARY
or THE
O B S O L E T E W O R D S
L. A. N. C. A. S. H I R E D I A L E C T,
ILLUSTRATED BY QUOTATIONS
FROM THE EARLIEST ENGLISH WRITERS.
—º-
AGATE, agoing, from gait.
I pray you, memory, set him agate again.-Shakspeare.
Agog, anxiously, begun.
On which the saints are all agog,
And all this for a bear and dog.—Hudibras.
An, if, and,
He will, an he live to be a man.—Shakspeare.
Anent, or aneenst, opposite.
An right anenst him a dog snarling-er.—B. Jonson.
Anon, coming. #
Th’ anon, Sir, doth obey the call.—Shakspeare.
Another-gates, another sort.
And his bringing up another-gates marriage than such a
minion.—Lilly's Mother Bombie.
Ark, a chest or coffer.
Then first of all came Sir Satyrane,
Bearing that precious relic in an ark
Of gold, that bad eyes might not it profane.
Spenser's Faëry Queen.
-



122 GTOSSARY
Arrant, bad in a high degree.
Country folks, who hallooed and hooted after me, as at the
arrantest coward that ever shewed his shoulder to the
enemy.—Sidney.
Astound, to astonish, confound with fear and wonder.
These thoughts may startle well, but not astound
The virtuous mind.— Milton,
Auf, or oaf, a foolish child, or fairy changeling.
Says that the fairy left this auf
And took away the other.—Drayton.
Balderdash, to mix or adulterate any liquor.
When monarchy began to bleed,
And treason had a fine new name ;
When Thames was balderdash'd with Tweed, -
And pulpits did like beacons flame. -
The Geneva Ballad, 1674.
Bam, a curse or interdiction.
Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
With Hecate's ban thrice blasted, thrice infected.—Hamlet.
Bang, a blow, a thump.
With many a stiff thwack, many a bang,
Hard crabtree, and old iron rang.—Hudibras.
Barn, that is things born, a child.
On St. John's evyn the Baptist,
The best barn was under Christ. -
Gwaine and Gawin, Ritson's Met, Romances.
Bate, to lessen or lower any thing, except.
Nor envious at the sight will I forbear
My plentedus bowl, nor bate my plenteous cheer.—Donne.
Bate me some, and I will pay you some.—Shakspeare.
Batter, a mixture of which pancakes, &c. are made.
Turkey poults fresh from the egg in batter fried.
Beck'n, to call with the fingers.
Alexander beckoned with the hand, &c,+Acts.

GLOSSARY 123
Beest, undigested milk, first given by the cow after
calving.
And twice besides her beestings never fail
To store the dairy with a brimming pail.-Dryden.
Belling or bellowing, loud noise, roaring."
The beasts that haunt those springs
From whom I hear those dreadful bell'ings.
Brown's Pastorals.
Bench, or stool, or seat.
The seats and benches shone of ivory.—Spenser.
Blain, a little boil or pustule.
Botches and blains must all his flesh imboss
And all his people.—Milton.
Blend, or blent, to mingle together.
'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
Nature's own sweet and cunning hand has laid on-Shak,
Blinkart, blind of one eye, or bad eyes.
Brainless blinkarts that blow at the Cole.—Shelton’s Poems.
Blur, a blot; to stain, to sully.
Sarcasms may eclipse thine own,
But cannot blur my lost renown.—Hudibras, i. 3.
Bode, did abide, also to foretell.
This bodes some strange eruption to our state.—Shakespeare.
Boggle, to be afraid, Boggart an apparition.
You boggle shrewdly, every feather starts you.-Ibid.
Brabble, Brabblement, a squabble or falling out.
This is not a place
To brabble in ; Calianax, join hands.-Beaumont and Fletcher
Braggot, or braket, new ale spiced with sugar.
Her mouth was sweet as braket, or the nieth or hord of ap-
ples, laid in hay or heth-Chaucer.
Brast, burst, broken.
But dreadful furies which their chains have brast.—Spenser.
Brat, a child, also a coarse apron.
The brat is none of mine !—Shakespeare,

G 3

124 GLOSSARY.
Brindlt or brindled, a mixture of colours in animals.
Thrice the brindled cat hath mewed.—Shakespeare.
Britchel or brittle, apt to break.
A wit quick without brightness, sharp without brittleness-
- R. Ascham's S. Mr.
Bruit, to report a rumour.
A thousand things besides, she bruits and tells.
Mirrour for Magistrates.
Burly, thick, heavy, clumsy.
*Twixt their burly sacks and full stocked barns they stand.
Drayton's Pol.
Canker, cankered, corrosion, virulence, ill-natured.
As with age his body uglier grows,
So his mind with cankers.-Shakespeare.
Cark, to be careful and diligent.
Hark, my husband' he's singing and hooting,
And I’m fain to cark and care, and all little enough.
Beaumont and Fletcher.
Carl or clown.
The carle beheld an saw his guest.—Spenser.
Carlings, pease boiled on Coare Sunday, i. e. the Sun-
day before Palm Sunday.
There be all the lads and all the lasses,
Set down in the midst of the Ha’,
With sybows, (onions,) and rifarts, (radishes), and carlings,
That are both sodden (boiled) and raw.—Old Scottish Song.
Carron or carrion, a term of reproach. -
Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mrs. Quickly, to him
Shakespeare.
Catterwauling, cattermaw, by Chaucer, rambling in the
night after the manner of cats.
What a catterwauling do you keep here *—Shakespeare.
Char, a small job of work, also to stop.
His hand to woll, and arras worke, and women's chares he
laid.—Warner’s Akh, Emre.
GLOSSARY. 125
Chargers, platters, dishes.
Give me here John Baptist's head in a charger—St.Matthew.
Chary, careful, nicely cautious.
Nor am I chary of my beauty's hue,
But that I am troubled with the tooth-ache sore.
George a Greene, O.P.
Chieve, to prosper, to succeed.
You have used a doctor fame-worn, and therefore look for ill
chieving.—Ulysses upon Ajaw.
Churn-getting, or Churn-supper.
Because at harvest home, from immemorial time, it was cus-
tomary to produce, in a churn at supper, a great quantity of
cream, and to circulate it in cups to each of the rustic com-
pany, to be eaten with bread.—Brand's Pop. Ant. vol. i.
p. 449.
Clammer, to climb, also a noise.
Methinkes they might beware by others' harmes,
And eke eschue to clammer up so hye.-Mirr, for Magis.
Clammy, glutinous, adhesive, ropy. -
Cold sweats in clammy drops his limbs o'erspread.—Dryden.
Clemmed, famished, starved.
Hard is the choice, when the valiant must eat their arms,
or clem.—Ben Jonson.
Clough, a wood or valley between two hills.
The other Clym of the Clough
An archer good enough.-Ballad of Adam Bell.
Clutter, all on heaps.
He saw what a clutter there was with huge overgrown pots,
pans, and spits.-L’Estrange.
Cockers and Trashes, old stockings without feet, worn
as spatterdashes over the shoes; some years back
known as Welsh boots.
Nowe doth he inly scorn his Kendall greene,
And his patch'd cockers now despised beene.
- Bp. Hall's Satires.
Cocket, brisk, pert, or saucy.
To wax cocket, Sherwood.


125 GLOSSARY.
Coil, a great stir; also, a lump on the head by a blow.
You will not believe what a coil I had the other day to com-
pound a business between a Kattern pear-woman and him,
about snatching.—Ben Jonson.
Crackling, or cracknels, a thin wheaten cake.
Take with thee ten loaves and cracknels.-1 Kings, xiv. 3.
Cratch, a rack for hay in a stable.
She leyde him in a cratch.-Wicliffe; Luke, ii.
Crevis, or crevice, a hole or crack.
I pried me through the crevice of a wall.—Titus And,
Crib, a place to hold calves or oxen.
Where no oxen are the crib is clean,—Proverbs, xiv. 4.
Cricks and howds, pains and strains.
'Tis nothing, she'll tell you, but a crick she has got in her
back.-Quevedo's Wisions.
Cricket, a small stool; also a house insect.
Far from all resort of mirth,
Save the cricket on the hearth.-Milton, Il Pen.
Crinkle, to rumple a thing; also to bend under a
weight.
Comely crinkled,
Wondrously wrinkled.—Skelton.
Crony, an old acquaintance or companion.
So when the Scots, your constant cronies,
Th” espousers of your cause and monies.—Hudibras.
Dab, being active at any thing.
The third is a dab at an index –Goldsmith.
Daggled-tale, bemired; a dirty slut.
To see the dung'd folds of dag-tail'd sheep.–Hall's Satire.
Dickons, an interjection, much the same with “the
devil l’’
I cannot tell what the dickons his name is 1–Shakespeare.

GLOSSARY. 127
Din, a constant, tiresome noise.
While the cock with lively din.-Milton.
Ding, to bluster, to bounce, to huff.
He huffs and dings.-Arbuthnot.
Doff, to put off dress, or hat.
Daff those tinks.
Nature, in awe to him,
Had doff'd her gaudy trim.—Milton.
Draff, grains or sediments of ale.
No, give them grains their fill,
Husks, draff, to drink and swill,—Ben Jonson.
º
Elder, one of Cromwell’s Justices of the Peace.* A
cow's udder.
Flea-bitten Synod, an assembly brew’d
Of clerks and elder's ana; like the rude
Chaos of Presbytery, where laymen ride
With the tame woolpack clergy by their side.-Cleveland.
Fag-end, the tail-end ; a remnant.
At the world's fag-end
A land doth lie.—Fanshaw.
Famish, to starve by famine.
What, did he marry me to famish me?—Shakespeare.
Farrenkly, fair and clean; handsome.
A farrenkly looking body.—Anon.
Farrow, to bring forth pigs.
The thirty pigs at one large litter farrow'd.—Dryden.
Fettle, to put in order or condition.
Nor list he now go whistling to the car,
But sells his team, and fettleth to the war. - -
Bishop Hall's Satire.
* Collier

1287 GLOSSARY.
Fey, to remove the earth.
By feying and casting that mud upon heaps,
Commodities many the husbandman reaps.--Tusser.
Flet, skimmed milk.
The drink flet milk, which they just warm.–Mortimer.
Flick, a flitch of bacon.
Another brought a splycke
Of a bacon flicke.—Tusser.
Flit, to remove from a house, &c.
at last it flitted is,
Whither the souls of men do fly that live amiss.—Spenser.
Fob, a pocket.
Who pick’d a fob at holding forth.-Hudibras.
Fog, young, strong, or latter-grass, after mowing.
The thick and well-grown fog doth mat my smoother slades.
- Drayton's Pol. xiii. 294.
Foist, stinking, fusty, or mouldy.
The old moth-eaten, leaden legend, and the foisty and
finowed festival.—Favour Antiq. &c. 1619, p. 334,
Foo-goad, a plaything, or a trifling person.
Didst thou ever see such a foo-goad felly 7–L. D.
Foomart, polecat or fitchat.
Foxes and foumarts, with all other vermine.
Ascham, Tozoph.
Foir-new, fine; very new, or span new.
A man of fire-new words, Fashion's own knight.
Shakespeare.
Frap, to crack, or fall into a passion.
Whose heart was frapp'd with such surprising woe.
Palace of Pleasure, vol. ii.
Frim, rich, thriving.
Through the frim pastures, freely at his leisures.—Drayton.
Frump, a mock or jeer.
Pray leave these frumps, sir, and receive this letter.
Beaumont and Fletcher.


GLOSSARY. 129
Fussock, a term of reproach for fat idle women.
A fussock of a woman, sir, she was.-Anon.
Gad, to run about, as cows in hot weather.
Give the water no passage, neither a wicked woman liberty
to gad abroad.—Eccles. xxv. 25.
Gam, gammon, fine sport, diversion; also game.
The same definition in Ritson's Glossary to Metrical Romances.
Gan, began to ; gane, go or gone.
Dore ne window was thar nane,
Whar he myght oway game.—Ritson's Met, Rom, i. 34,
Gar, to make, or fence.
Tell me, good Hobind, what gars thee greet (weep)?
What! has some wolf thy tender lambs y torn
Or is thy bagpipe broke, that sounds so sweet?
Or art thou of thy loved lass forlorn ?—Spenser's Shep. Cal
Garth, a hoop for tubs, a girdle, an enclosure, &c.
Wide Johnson's Dictionary, by Todd.
-
Gash, a large cut or wound.
And from the gash
A stream of nectareous humour issuing flow'd.
Milton’s Paradise Lost.
Gate-away, gone forward, or on his way.
He runne fast on his gate,
Tyl he cam to the castel yate.
Gaunt, lean, empty, meagre, &c.
Gawby, or gawky, stupid, awkward, ungainly, &c
Refer to Brande's Popular Antiquities, where he denominates
gawby, or cuckoo, as a name of contempt; as, “ April
gawks.”
G 5

130 GLOSSARY.
Gawm, understand or comprehend; also, unhandsomely
looking.—Todd's Johnson.
Gawpe, galp, or gape, to stare with open mouth.
The king gaped and gazed upon her with open mouth.
1 Esdras, iv. 31.
Gawster, an expressive word for to boast; gawstring,
hectoring, bragging -
Gibberidge, or gibberish, stammering, or imperfect
speech; fustian language.—Wide Todd's Johnson.
What, methynk ye be clerkyshe,
For ye speak good gibberish.-Interlude of Youth, 1557.
Giggle, to laugh wantonly.
The giggler is a milk-maid.—Herbert.
Glead, a kind of hawk or kite.
Ye shall not eat the glead, the kite, or the vulture.—Deut.
Glimmer, to shine a little.
The west yet glimmers with some streaks of day.—Milton.
Glister, to shine or sparkle.
The helmets glister brightest in the fairest sunshine.
Spenser.
Glopp’nt, frightened, astonished.
Gob, a large piece of meat, a mouthful.
Such a gob of money.-L’Estrange.
Gobbet, as much as can be swallowed at once.
Full of great lumps of flesh and gobbets raw, Spenser.
Gog, agog, haste, desire to go.
You have put me in such a gog of going, I would not stay
for all the world.— Beaumont and Fletcher.



GLOSSARY, 131
Gorse, furze, a prickly shrub.
And for fair corn-ground are our fields surcloy'd with worth-
less gorse.—Kyd, am. 1594.
Greadly, graythly, well, right handsomely.
Ritson's Met. Rom.
Grig, or grippen, clenched hand or fist; strength.
Submit to those who are of grip or might.—Drayton.
Grits, sand; or groats, oats husked, sauce to goose.
Plague him give him goose without groats 1–4non
Grope, to feel awkwardly, in the dark.
We grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we
had no eyes.—Isaiah, lix. 10.
Groin, a swine's snout.
Solomon likeneth a fair woman, that is a fool of hire body,
to a ring of gold that is worn in the groine of a sowe.
Chaucer
Gry, an easy ague-fit, or a small measure.—Todd's
Johnson
Gurd (burst) of laughter.—Ibid.
Gutt’, an abbreviation for “Go to ſº frequently found
in Shakspeare, &c.
Guzzett, a four-squared piece of cloth, whereby the arm-
pit of a shirt is widened.—Cotgrave's Dictionary.
Hackt, or hack'd, to cut bunglingly.
I'll fight till from my bones my flesh be hack'd.—Shakespeare.
Had-loon't-rean, the gutter or space between the head-
lands and others.
Haft, or heft, the handle of a knife; heft, is also life.
But yet ne fond I nought the haft, -
Which might unto the blade accord.-Gower.




132 GLOSSARY.
-
Hag, or haggus, the belly.
A word of Scottish immortality, by a well-known delicate
dish—haggis.
Haigs, or hawes, the whitethorn berry, or hawthorn.
Store of haws and hips portend cold winter.—Bacon.
Hal o' Nabs, Henry of Abrahams.
Son of, as Ap, De, or Fitz.
Halliblash (blaze), a great light.
As Hallimas means All-souls, and Hallidom, Holy-dame, so
may this mean Holy-light.
Halloo, to shout. º *
If I fly, Marcius,
Halloo me like a hare.—Shakspeare.
Hammil, a hamlet or village.
Hanker, to long for, to covet.
And felt such bowel hankerings -
To see an empire all of Kings –Hudibras.
Hap, to cover; also, to pat or encourage a dog.
He should not be the better hapt, or covered from cold.
* More's Utopia, 1551.
Haply, perhaps, it may be.
This love of theirs myself have often seen,
Haply when they have judged me fast asleep.–Shakspeare.
Harbour, to entertain, to shelter.
My lady bids me tell you, that though she harbours you as
her uncle, she's nothing allied to your disorders.
Shakspeare.
Harr, to snarl like an angry dog ; a storm proceeding
from the sea.—Todd's Johnson. .
Harry, to hurry, to tease, to vex.
I repent me much
That I so harry'd him.-Shakspeare.

GLOSSARY. 133
Haver, oats; as, haver-bread, for, oaten-bread.
When you would anneal, take a blue stone, such as they
make haver, or oat-cakes, upon, and lay it upon the cross
bars of iron.—Peachum.
Haust, a cough or cold.—Todd's Johnson.
Hawmes, the collar by which a horse draws.
Hey-go-mad, like mad; to do anything to excess.
Todd's Johnson.
Hilling, a bed hilling, a coverlet.
Cease, then, all you that aim at the hilling-up of fatal gold.
Hewyt.
Hobbling, limping, awkward gait; also, stammering.
The friar was hobbling the same way, too.—Dryden.
Hobnob, rashly; a term in drinking, proceeding from
beer, in old times, being on the hob, or stones at
either end of the fire, to warm ; and cold beer on a
round table, or what is called a nob; by which is
meant, “Will you have cold or warm drink ''
Hobgoblin, an apparition, fairy, or spirit.
Crier hobgoblin, make the fairy O yes!—Shakspeare.
Hose, stockings.
He being in love, could not see to garter his hose.
Shakspeare.
Hough, a foot, or, more properly, the leg or hock.
Thou shalt hough their horses.—Joshua, xi. 6.
Huckster, a seller of herbs, roots, or small ware.
A merchant shall hardly keep himself from doing wrong, and
an huckster shall not be freed from sin.-Ecclus. xxvi. 29.
Hugger-mugger, peevish, uncomfortable, cross-grained.
The patrimony which a few
Now hold in hugger-mugger in their hand,
And all the rest do rot of goods and land.—Spenser.
Hummobee, the large round, or stingless, bee.
The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees.—Shakspeare.


134 GLOSSARY.
Hurley-burley, tumult, commotion, bustle.
When the hurley-burley's done,
When the battle's lost and won.--Shakspeare.
Inkling, a hint; a tendency or liking to any thing.
He had lytle inklinge that it was a speciall friend of his who
kyll'd the deer.—Archb. Cranmer's Answer to Gardner.
Jackanapes, a term of derision, from Jack and ape.
He played Jackednapes, swearynge, by his ten bones (his fin-
gers or toes.)—Bale.
Jingum-bobs, play-things, nick-nacks.
He rifled all his pokes and fobs,
Of gimcracks, whims, and jingum-bobs.-Hudibras.
Kackle, or cackle, the noise of a hen after laying.
Johnson.
Kee, or kye, cows, or kine.
A lass, that Cicely hight, had won his heart,
Cicely, the western lass, that tends the kee.—Spenser.
Keen, keen-bitten, sharp or well-edged.
Here is my keen-edged sword.—Shakspeare.
Kemb, a comb; perhaps more proper.—Johnson.
Yet are there men more loose than they,
More kemb’d and bath'd, and rubb’d and trimm’d,
More sleek.- Ben Jonson.
Kest, cast; still used in Scotland.
The rosie mark, which she remembred well,
That little inſant had, which forth she kest.—Spenser.
Kibe, a chap in the heel, caused by cold.
If 'twere a kibe, 'twould put me to my slipper.—Shakspeare.
Kīn, kind, sort; relations.
Some kin affray,
Envie or pride, passion or offence.—Chaucer.

GLOSSARY - 135
Kindly, a kindly cow, or kindly tree.
The kindly fruits of the earth-Litany.
Kink-haust, or chink-cough, a violent cold.
Todd's Johnson.
Lamm, to beat.
Lamm'd you shall be ere we leave you, -you shall be beaten
sober.-Beaumont and Fletcher.
Lant, urine. -
Your frequent drinking country ale with lant in't.
Glassthorne's Wit in a Constable, 1639.
Lap, to wrap over.
Lap me in soft Lydian airs.-Milton.
Largess, much ; a present, a bounty.
And liberal largess are grown somewhat light.—Shakspeare.
Latch'd, infecting, catching.
From bough to bough he leaped light,
And oft the pumies latch'd, Spenser. -
Leawp-holes, or loop-hole, to give air in barns, or alight
in passages.
From her cabin'd loop-hole peep.–Milton.
Leedſ (leef), I’d as leef, I would as soon.
All were the lief or loth.-Spenser.
Lick, a blow; rough usage.
And gave me a lick across the face.—Dryden.
Ling, a kind of long heath.
Heath, and ling, and sedges.—Bacon's Nat. Hist.
Loathe, unwilling.
Egyptians shall loathe to drink the waters.-Exodus.
Loft, a chamber, or upper room. -
Eutychus fell down from the third loft.—Acts.
Lopper'd milk, curdled milk.-Ainsworth.
Lug, to pull by the hair.
With hair in character and lugs in text.—Cleveland.

136 - GLOSSARY.
Lurdin, or Lord Dane, an idle lubberly fellow.
Lourdains or clowns attired in their ordinary working-day
clothes.—Florio.
Mar, to spoil a child, &c., or injure.
Take care to marnot, when thou think'st to mend.—Fairfax.
Masht, broke to pieces.
They would even mash themselves, and all things else, to
pieces.—More.
Maskin, a sort of petty oath.
By the maskin, methought they were so indeed,—Chapman.
Maukin, a bundle of rags to sweep an oven, a dirty
WOImall.
A crooked carcass, a maukin, a witch, &c.—Burton.
Maunder, to grumble, or walking stupidly.
Maundering as if I had done him a discourtesy.—Wiseman.
Maw, a stomach, or inclination.
I have no maw to marriage.-Beaumont and Fletcher.
Mes'n, or minen, heap of dung or cleaning of a stable.
The sunne that shineth on the micene.—Chaucer.
Midding, or midden, heap of muck.
A very midden, or mucke heape, of all the grossest errors
and heresies of the Romish Church.-Favour, 1619.
Moider, to confound, to distract.—Todd's Johnson.
Mowdywarp, or moldwarp, a mole.
And like a moldwarp, make him lose his eyes.
Harrington's Ar.
Mullock, dirt, rubbish.
The mullock on an hepe ysweped was.-Chaucer.
Murth, of corn, plenty of grain.-Ainsworth.
Nesh, tender, a weak subject; used by Chaucer.
Of cheese-he says, it is too hard--he says, it is too mesh.
Choise of Change, 1585.


GLOSSARY. 137
Nice, neat, comical, fastidious, &c.
Think not I shall be nice.—Milton.
Nifle, a nice bit, also trifling.
He serv'd them with nifies and with fables.—Chaucer.
Over-bodit, a new upper part to the skirts of an old
garment.—Coles.
Pee, is to squint queerly.
He pees, he looks with one eye.—Ray.
Pumping, asking of questions. -
The ones the learned knight seek out,
And pump them what they come about.—Hudibras.
Punch'd, kicked, beat, &c.
By thee was punch'd full of deadly holes.—Shakspeare.
Quandary, at a loss, in a brown study.
I leave you to judge in what a quandary Pericles was
brought.—Greene, 1583.
Quean, a strumpet, a female reproach.
This well they understand, like cunning queans.—Dryden.
Rabblement, the crowd, or mob.
Such wondrous rabblement of rhymsters new.
Bp. Hall's Satires.
Rack, a neck of mutton, also a frame to hold fodder
(hay) for cattle.
A chicken, a rabbit, rib of a rack of mutton, &c.—Burton.
Raddle, or Raddling-sticks : a raddle-hedge is a hedge of
pleached or twisted sticks and boughs.-H. Tooke.
Rank, wrong, gross, coarse.
Deserves a name as rank as any flax wench.-Shakspeare.

138 GLOSSARY.
Rap and rend, do all they possibly can.
All they could rap and rend and pilfer.—Hudibras.
Reast or Reasty, the outside of bacon.
Much bacon is reasty-Tusser.
Reek, or Reech, smoke, steam, &c.
'Tis as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln-Shakspeare.
Rick, a stack of corn.
In the north they make small ricks of them in the field.
Mortimer's Huso
Riddle, a coarse sieve.
Horse beans and tares, sown together, are easily parted with
a riddle.—Ibid.
Ripe, common, prevailing, abounding.
The plague was then ripe in Hungary.—Herbert.
Riff-raff, lumber, low people, the refuse.
Thwick-thwack and riff-raffroars he out aloud.
Bp. Hall's Satires.
Rift, to belch or break wind.—Todd's Johnson.
Rive, to split, to divide.
His heart asunder riveth.-Chaucer.
Roos, a rest for poultry.
A fox spied out a cock at roost upon a tree.—L’Estrange.
Rut, the paths of wheels.
From hills huge waters headlong fall,
Shall alwayes eat huge ruts.-Chapman.
Sark, a shirt. -
Haunting beaus gang with their breasts open, and their sarks
over their waistcoats.-Arb.
Scampo, or Scamper, to run away.
A fox seized a fawn and fairly scampered away with him.
- L'Estrange.
Scant, very scarce, rare.
— like the ant, -
In plenty hoard for time of scant.—Carew,


GLOSSARY. 139
-
Scar, a steep, bare, and rocky place on a hill side.
And eke full oft a little scar
Upon a bank-Gower.
Seely, weak, trifling, empty-headed.
If thou lust to holden chat
With seely shepheard's swain.-Spenser.
Shaftman, length of a fist with the thumb standing up.
- Raye and Lye's Dictionary.
Shift, a contrivance, a device, a woman's garment.
Know ye not Ulyssese shifts?–Denham.
Schippen, a cowhouse. -
Schepenes and dairies.—Chaucer.
Schoo, or Shough, a term to frighten poultry.
Shough 1 shough 1 up to your coop pea-hen.
Beaumont and Fletcher.
Sib, related to, akin.
(He) was sibbe to Arthour of Bretaigne.—Chaucer.
Sift, examine scrupulously.
We have sifted your objections.—Hooker.
Sike, a gutter or water-furrow.—Todd's Johnson. . - -
Sleeveless-arnt, a going to no purpose.
One morning, timely, he took in hande
To make my house a sleeveless errande-Heywood, 1566.
Slotch, or Slouch, a greedy clown.
A foul, great, stooping slouch with heavy eyes.
More's Life of the Lord.
Slough, a deep dirty place, skin of an adder, &c.
The ways being foul, twenty to one,
He's here stuck in a slough and overthrown.— Milton.
Sneap, to check, to reprimand.
My lord, I will not undergoe this sneap without reply.
Shakespeare.
Sneck, the latch or bolt of a door-Prompt Paro.




140 GLOSSARY.
--
Snig, an eel, to catch, to snare.
Yes, Sir, I have sniggled him.—Beaumont and Fletcher.
Snite, to blow the nose. -
Nor would any one be able to snite nis nose.-Grew's Cosmed.
Sops, toast, placed hot in ale or wine, or in the pan of
roasting meat.
Sops in wine, quantity for quantity, inebriate more than wine
of itself.-Bacon,
Sperr'd, inquired; also, to be sperred, is to be published
in the Church; used by Chaucer.
Whych openeth and no man spereth.
God's Promise, Old Play.
Span-new, or Bran-new, never worn.
This tale was all span-newe to begin.—Chaucer.
This is a spell against the spick-and-span-new.—B. Jonson.
Stannyel, a hawk.
With what wing the stannyel sets at it.—Shakespeare.
Starke, very stiff.
Whom when the good Sir Guyon did beholde
His hart gan waxe as starke as marble stone.—Spenser.
Stark giddy, or mad, in the highest degree.
He is stark mad, who ever says
That he hath beene in love an hour.—Donne.
Stickle, to stand stiffly to a thing. º
There had been bloodshed had I not stickled. -
The Ordinary, Old Play. -
Stingy, sneaking, mean.
A stingy narrow-hearted fellow.—L'Estrange.
Stint, to set bounds to.
Our stint of woe is common.—Shakespeare.
Strike, or Stroke, two pecks, or bushel.
What dowry has she Scme two hundred bottles (bundles
of straw)
And twenty strike of oats.-Beaumont and Fletcher.



GLOSSARY. 141
Suds, a lather of soap, or to be taken in a scrape.
Will you forsake me now and leave me i' the suds—Ibid.
Swad, a bean or pea husk.
Take pulse out of the swads.-Cotgreave.
Swaith, or Swath, a row of grass cut by a mower
With tossing and raking, and setting in cox,
Grass lately in swaths is meat for an ox-Tusser.
Sweal, to kindle, to blaze, to burn.
Men swaliden with greete heete.-Wicliffe, Revelations, xvi.
Swinging, great, huge, heavy; a swinging-stick for beat-
ing or opening wool. -
The countryman seeing the lion disarmed, with a swinging
cudgel broke off the match.--L’Estrange.
Swither, to burn fiercely, or move hastily.
They sighen Marye, that sche roos swithe (hastily), and
went out.—Wicliffe, St. John, xi. 31.
Swop, to exchange one thing for another.
I would have swopped youth for old age.—Dryden.
Talemed's father, the author of Talleamed or the Indian
Philosopher.
Teathy, or teachy, cross, like a peevish child.
Tetchy and wayward was thy infancy.
Shakespeare's Richard III.
Teawse, or towse, to pull, to tear, to haul.
What sheepe that is full of wooll
Upon his back they tose and pull.–Gower.
Teem, to pour, a Scottish word; Johnson observes, a
low word which Swift uses.
Teem out the remainder of the ale into the tankard-Swift.
Teen, or teeny, fretful; also, very little.
Religion's reverence doth burial teene,
Which whoso wants, wants so much of his rest.—Spenser.

142 - GLOSSARY,
Th'arcake, hearth-cake, from being baked on the hearth.
Twitter, to fret, to laugh secretly; within a twitter, is
within a little. - -
And cut whole giants into fritters, -
To put them into amorous twitters.-Hudibras.
Tyny, very little.
He that has a little tyny wit,
Must make content with his fortunes fit.—Shakespeare,
Uncoth, or unkert, strange.
All cleane dismay’d to see so uncoth sight.—Spenser.
Uphold, to maintain, to warrant a thing.
While life upholds this arm,
This arm upholds the House of Lancaster.—Shakespeare.
Urchin, or urchen, a hedge-hog.
Urchins shall, for that vast of night that they may work,
All exercise on thee.—Shakespeare.
Waddle, or waggle, to shake in walking, to go like
ducks.
She could have run and waddled all about.—Shakespeare
Waker, easy to be awakened.
Late watchers are no early wakers.-Ben Jonson.
Wag, to move to and fro; also, an arch person.
All that hiss and wag their heads at thee.—Samuel, xi. 15.
Was not my lord the verier wag o' th' two 7–Shakespeare.
Wamble, the stomach; to roll with nausea or sickness.
When your cold sallads, without salt or vinegar,
Be warnbling in your stomachs.-Beaumont and Fletcher.
War and war, worse and worse.
They sayne the world is much war than it wont.—Spenser
Wattles, the lowest part of a cock's comb,
The cock's comb and whattels are an ornament becoming
his martial spirit.—More.






GLOSSARY. 143
War, to grow, to become bigger.
They war and wane
*Twixt thrift and penury.—Carew.
Welkin, the sky.
Nein all the well-in was no cloud.-Chaucer.
Wheeze, to make a noise in breathing. -
The contraction of the trachaea straitens the passage of
the air, and produces the wheezing in the asthma-Floyer.
Wherrit, a box on the ear; also did laugh,
—— How meekly
This other fellow here receives his werrit. -
Beaumont and Fletcher.
Whinnit, horse neighing.
The horse while he is winneying.—More's Im. of Soul, xi. 13.
Whirl-boan, the round bone of the knee, the Patella.
Ainsworth.
Whisk-telt (tailed), light of carriage, a courtezan.
He whisk'd his party-colour'd wings,
And down to earth he comes.—Raleigh.
Whiz, to hiss as a flying bullet.
Turn him about,
I know him, I know him ; he’ll but whig and then go out.
Dryden.
Whoo-up, shouting when all's over; word spoke to a
horse to stop which they soon learn to obey in those
counties.
With that the shepherd whoop'd for joy.—Mayhon.
Whoo-whoo, an interjection of great surprise.
Howl ye, wo worth the day.—Ezekiel, xxx, 2.
Wisket, a basket.—Ainsworth.
Woode, or wode, almost mad with anger.
Calm the tempest of his passion woode.—Spenser.
Wort, a word ; also, new ale in fermentation.
If in the wort of beer.—Bacon


144 GLOSSARY.
Wrynot, a surname, a cant term.
He shad (shaded) wrynot, and wrynot shad the devil
Yean, you will a sheep is said to yean when she brings
forth.
I love thee better than the careful ewe the new-year'd lamb.
- Fletsher's Faith. Shep.
Yawl, or Yelp, like a dog when hurt.
To gaulpe and bark like a dog or a fox-Barret. Alv. 1580.
Yule-tide, or Yulegams, Christmas time, or Lammas.
Masks, singing, dancing, yule-games.-Burton's Anat.

THE
BATTLE
F L Y IN G D R A G O N
MAN OF HEATON.
-
-
Spectatum admissi risum teneatis 2–Hor. Ars Poet, ver, 5.




TO THE READER.
I HAVE very little to say to thee, O my
Friendſ only, I hope by the following
short Poem thou wilt see that I wish
Englishmen would be content to be Eng-
lishmen, both in dress and politics.
FAREWELL |





-
THE ARGUMENT.
—º-
A LANCAsHIRE beau being at London, fell in love with the
large pig-tails and ear-locks, and consequently brought the
French toys with him to Lancaster: business calling him to
Sunderland, on that coast, and the day being uncommonly
boisterous, he mounts his courser, dressed in the pig-tail, ear-
locks, &c. d-la-mode François. The toy rolled on his shoulders,
till the blasts blew away both that and the ear-locks, they being
fastened to the tail with black ribbons. -
A countryman coming that way, and seeing them blowing
about in the lane, takes the French medley for a flying-dragon,
and, after mature deliberation, resolved to kill it. This pro-
duced three battles; at the latter end of which (the wind ceas-
ing, and the pig-tail lying still) he thought he had manfully
performed. Elated with the exploit, he twists his stick in the
ear-locks, and carries all before him aloft in the air, as boys
commonly do adders; till meeting the Rector of Heysham,
he was, with much ado, convinced : and then in great con-
fusion sneaked away, leaving his reverence in possession of
the monster, who still keeps it at Heysham, and often shows it
with much diversion to his friends.



( 149 )
THE FLYING D R A G O N
AND THE
MAN OF HEATON.
—3–
PART I.
WHAT man alive, tho' eer so wise,
With spaniel's nose and eagle's eyes,
Can tell this hour what th' next will fling us,
Or whether joy or sorrow bring us.
That no dispute there needs of this,
The man of Heaton witness is ;
A man he was and very stout,
But whether quite so wise, some doubt;
And as my muse dare not decide,
The following facts must be our guide;
So leaving him in doubtful mood,
Let’s hint at one more understood.
Our other hero, for we’ve two,
Hight Mijnheer Skyppo Vanderloo,
Was late arriv'd from that fam'd city,
Half French, half English—ah, what pity


150 - THE FLYING DRAGON.
Where courtiers, pensioners, and placemen,
By frequent ins and outs disgrace men:
Where doughty squires to knights are vamp'd ;
Where half-thick lords to earls are stamp'd;
Where all the arts of jockeyship
Are us’d as at the turf and whip;
Where one throws out his dearest brother,
And statesmen jostle one another ;
Who lay their meagrim brains together
To make our feet find their own leather;
Our eyes must see, sans sun or candle,
And in the day mope—dingle dangle :
Where bribery’s the chiefest trade,
And laws against our interest made;
Where Britain's fate is—hum—decided 2
And all 'mongst w s and r s divided.
But stay—should I their actions paint,
Our heads would ach, our hearts wou’d faint;
So leaving them, and their grand squabble,
My muse of better things shall babble.
This man, I say, was just come down,
From that French pig-tail foppish town,
As gay as daw, in borrowed plumes,
And all the airs of fop assumes.
His ramille, secundum artem,
Was toss'd up—bless me, ah—ad


AND THE MAN OF HEATON. 151
His earlocks too!—near eyebrows plac'd,
His countenance genteelly grac'd;
A pig-tail dangling to his -
(O truth, 'tis thou that shames my verse ()
Being tagg'd with curious shining hair,
In various colours did appear;
With powder dusted, smooth'd by tonsure,
He look’d as grand as monkey monsure
His nag high-mettl’d shin’d like raven,
Both sire and dam, of blood in craven :
He mounted—hem’d—fill’d cheeks with wind;
Spurr'd mag—(who answered from behind)—
Away he flew—now boisterous Boreas,
Vext to see man so vainly glorious,
Resolv’d this champion’s pride to humble,
And make his furious courser stumble 5
But finding soon this scheme to fail,
He aimed his force at the pig-tail,
And whisk’d it round both back and shoulder,
Still he rode on—and still look’d bolder
Boreas, chagrin’d and gall'd with pain,
At ear-locks blew with might and main,
Not dreaming of their being ally'd,
And to the tail so closely ty’d.
All Skyppo's head attire so gay,
The blast had nearly blown away,

152 THE FLYING DRAGON
When fortune raising ruffl’d hand,
Kept wig and beaver on their stand;
--
But pig-tail, with the ear-locks new
Away with Boreas waving flew.
Our hero spruce ne'er miss'd the toy,
But rode for Sunderland with joy;
Thinking to show the fashion new,
Which sight would make one laugh—or -
PART II.
But who comes next!—the man of Heaton,
Whose very name old time hath eaten.
For authors in this point do vary,
Some call him Roaf, some Will, some Harry;
But I incline, for private reason,
To call him Oamfrey, at this season;
And sometimes Noamp perhaps may fit
As suits my rhyme, or helps my wit.
But on he comes; and fame rehearses
His nose two feet before his is ;
A trusty knob-stick fill'd his hand,
And thought no power could him withstand.
When lo! his lifted eyes assail
A long black thing with wings and tail;





AND THE MAN OF HEATON. 153
The wings quick moving with the wind,
The tail in curls, turn’d up behind.
So Oamfrey stops his sauntering course,
And unto musing had recourse;
Then stamp'd his knob-stick on the ground,
And crying in amaze profound:
** I’th meme o'mercy, say—whot art;
That two black tungs from mouth con dart?
Whooas twisted body’s like the hurn
O’ that fem’d beeost the unicorn
I say, whot art 7 Ith’ neme o
My stick shall—howd—I’ve heard a rod
Of willow will demolish soon
2
The direst snake below the moon.”
With that, stout Noamp his thwittle drew,
And on the edge three times he blew;
Then from the hedge he in a crack
Brings a tough willow with him back;
But whilst the leaves he from it strips,
Across the lane the Dragon skips!
Quoth he-‘‘ I see theawºrt marching off,
Boh howd o bit; this willow tough
Shall, if strength ſail not, stop thy flight.”
So strikes the pig-tail with his might,
And cries out, “ Boh!” then quick returns,
Then gives a stroke—then backward runs.


H 5
154 THE FLYING DRAGON
The monstrous animal up flew,
And Oamfrey starting, quick withdrew ,
His eyes oth’ stare, his face grew pale,
With open mouth he view'd the tail,
Which briskly wanton'd in the wind;
Then swore, “It’s of the Dragon kind tº
On deep reflection he grew tardy,
And thought it sin to be fool-hardy.
“If I con seve meh-sell,” quoth he,
“Whot's flying Dragons unto me?
There can mo wisdom be, I trow,
In feighting things we dunnaw know ;
---
For should it chonce fly e meh fece,
I’m doeo'd ostripe—witheawt God's grece.”
$o Oamfrey he the wand threw down,
Took up his stick, and march'd for town. -
PART III. - |
Two roods he had not gone, before |
A blast of wind the monster bore
Within two yards of Oamfrey's stick,
Which vex'd our hero to the quick.
Quoth Noamp, “Be this I plenely see
It mun be oather thee or me:










AND THE MAN OF HEATON. 155
And sin 'tis so, I'll never run,
Boh kill or dee before eh done.”
Then, in a passion, from his hand
He threw his stick, and fetch'd the wand :
And poor pig-tail with courage fresh,
And all his might began to thresh ;
But still the Dragon kept the field,
Cock’d up his tail, and scorn'd to yield.
This furious combat, by report,
Did last till Oamfrey's stick grew short,
And a cessation, as fame reckons,
Continued till he got fresh weapons.
But Oamfrey, having luck to find
A weapon to his murdering mind,
Says softly thus unto himself:
“Theaw feights for honour, not for pelf:
And if theaw gets this direfoo beawt,
Thy feme will bieze, on ne'er gooa out.” -
Then hemming twice—spits on his hand,
And snatches up the magic wand,
Resolved to do a feat to brag on,
So strikes with all his might the Dragon:
And thus the battle was renew’d,
And both sides to their tackle stood.
Again fierce Oamfrey's stick did dwindle
Into the length of common spindle:
-


156 THE FLYING DRAGON
But thinking now the battle gain'd,
Because he with no blood was stain'd,
Resolv’d to fetch another switch,
To kill outright this Dragon-witch.
Now while this third great duel lasted,
Fierce Oamfrey's strength was almost wasted.
The Dragon, too, now wanting breath,
Had symptoms of approaching death ;
And ev'ry member seem'd to fail,
He hardly stirring wing or tail,
For Boreas likewise, tired at length
Had quite exhausted all his strength,
And all was hush: so fortune gave
The field and battle to the bravel
And pig-tail lies as still as stone,
As tho’ to live it ne'er had known.
And thus the Dragon here was slain,
Whilst Oamfrey lives to fight again.
º
º





AND THE MAN OF HEATON. 157
PART IV.
Our hero's courage none can doubt;
Nor love of fame was he without ;
For when this glorious feat was done,
And such a victºry fairly won,
Ambitious Oamfrey in a crack,
Put kersey coat on sweating back;
And then with cautious stare he view’d
The Dragon, which he’d hack’d and hew’d ;
But still it proved above his ken,
As it might do to wiser men. -
Here Oamfrey musters all his senses,
And pride threw down all meek pretences;
So he resolved he'd boldly bear
In triumph all the spoils of war.
With this intent, his ample foot
Held down the pig-tail, whilst he put
His stick within the frizzled hair,
And thus before him did it bear.
Ten furlongs he’d triumphing past,
But met no mortal man or beast :
When, lo he met, with heart full gleesome,
The reverend rector, styled of Heysham.
The parson stared, whilst Oamfrey held
The Dragon, which he’d lately kill'd :



158 THE FLYING DRAGON
And after clearing up his Weasand,
He query'd thus, to know the reason:
“Why Oamfrey, man! what have you got
Upon your stick?” “That I know not.”
“Where did you find the tawdry thing?”
“Tawdry!” quoth Noamp, “ why’t has a sting!”
“A sting, man!—nay, no more than you.”
“Byth’ mass good parson, that's may true:
Look at its tungs; its sting's ith tele,
Or else I’m sure my senses ſail ſ”
“True,” quoth his rev'rence, “ that may be,
And in that point we both agree;
But if my eyes, like thine, don’t fail,
It is, tho’ large, a French pig-tail.”
“A pigtele, parsºn that’s good fun!
No moor thin bacco-pipe’s a gun.
Why ’twas alive ten minutes since,
An that I’ll swear be king or prince
Nay, more thin that, it flew abeawt,
An that no swine-tele, or his sneawt,
Could ever do sin Noah's flood,
An this I will maintene for good.”
The rector laugh'd, and Noamp look’d sour
For to convince he wanted pow'r ;
Nor could Noamp to his thoughts give vent,
As anger cork’d up argument.



AND THE MAN OF HEATON. 1.59
His rev'rence then began again
To reason, thus: “Why, look ye, man,
This is black silk, and this is hair : º
Feel, and believe—you need not stare ſº
“Not stare : Why, parsºn, did naw you
Affirm just neaw othing maw true,
Did naw yo sey it wur a pig-tele?
Which 'tis no moor thin 'tis a snig-tele.”
“Why, man! but so they call the thing
You see’t has neither head nor sting ;
These ribands are to tie it on,
As you shall see I’ll do anon.”
His rev'rence then his wig took off,
And Noamp began to hem and cough;
His doubts he found to disappear,
And that he’d got wrong sow by th’ ear: .
For as the parson was adjusting,
Things grew the more and more disgusting
But when he put o'er all his wig–
“The d–l ta’yer tele of pig!
What sense is there e tele so black
That’s teed toth' heedd, an rows oth back :
If they’d ha things weh netur jump,
The tele should awlus ston oth rump;
That fok moot know oytch foolish brat
For munkey greyt, or meawntin cat;



160 THE FLYING DRAGON.
Boh gawbies neaw gin kers’n nemes,
To things naw hardly fit for flames.”
So Oamfrey grumbling, budged away,
But neither bade good night or day.
The rector laugh'd, and laugh’d again,
At Oamfrey's motions thro’ the scene;
And took the pig-tail with him home,
For sport to friends in time to come;
And keeps it to this very day
At Heysham, as my authors say.

THE
B L A C K-B T R D.










THE
D. E. D. I. C. A. T.I.O. N.
To
THE MOST HIGH AND MIGHTY
STERN-VISA G D PLUTO,
| PRINCE of stygian DARKNEss, chief ENGINEER of Nocturnal -
THUNDER, AND GENERALISSIMO of ALL THE DEPARTED
GHosTS IN THE INFERNAL Regions, &c. &c
- - - —º-
SULPHUROUS AND DREAD PRINCE!
I AM very sensible 'tis the highest presump-
tion in me imaginable to address the following
Poem to your grisly majesty; but I humbly con-
ceive I have not done it without strong induce-
ments; for where could the Whistling Ouzel have
found an asylum, to screen her from the British
Minos (her austere and implacable enemy) but in
your swarthy dominions? Though at the same time
she flies to you for protection, she's possessed
with an ominous fear, that when her adversary
makes his exit out of these terrestrial regions,


164 N THE BLACK-BIRD.
you’ll immediately degrade AEacus, advance him
to the Bench, and assign to his profound and
equitable care all the European provinces; or at
least constitute him itinerant judge in your shady
jurisdictions. -
But to leave this to your profounded wisdom,
I must presume to tell you, most awful monarch,
that 'tis my humble opinion, that every carping
Momus, and snarling critic, will acquiesce with
me in my second motive for electing you my ad-
vocate, since ’tis the d–l of a Poem, on a black
subject, written by a Collier in an obscure style,
and therefore none so proper for its patron para-
mount, as your gloomy majesty.
Another reason is, because I don’t remember
that any of the ancientor modern higlers in rhyme
ever dedicated any of their productions to your
dusky godship: though they have not failed to
celebrate your tremendous name, extol your su.
preme power, and (if I may so speak) have given
us the cosmography of your ample dominions.
While you are thus slighted, there are not
wanting those who are busy making puny gods
and goddesses of mere terrestrial lumps; and the
press has given us a modern proof of a thresher,
who has thrown down his unwieldy flail, and taken





THE BLACK-BIRD. [65
up the pliant nimble pen, to make one, who has
lately passed through your sooty territories, as
powerful, and more indulgent to us, than the god-
dess CYBELE was to the ancients.
Since the clumsy flail has presumed to address
a terrene queen, accept, great Prince of Dark-
ness, of the first-fruits of the swift-paced shuttle;
which was a scion that blossomed, and whose fruit
came to maturity this keen benumbing storm,
when looms were more terrible to cringing, thin-
bellied weavers, than ever the pillory was to those
obsequious and loyal subjects of yours, Pryn and
Bastick. - º -
And now, methinks, I have almost beaten that
modish and much-frequented path of dedication
enough ; though I neither have nor can con-
descend to that nauseous and servile flattery which
is so redundant in addresses of this kind; and I
hope you'll not reject the patronage. If I could
have found a more powerful protector than your
great self, you had never heard of the Whistling-
Ouzel: neither would I have you think that I
have played the timid Indian, and offered the
Black-bird to your Ghastliness as a propitiation
for some enormous crime committed against your
Majesty; no, 'twas not this, but your ability to


166 THE BLACK-BIRD.
defend, that prompted me, and entirely banished
that modesty which otherwise would never have
permitted me to have sent the Black-bird, on her
well-balanced sable pinions, to your Sootiness for
protection—the which I hope you will grant her,
and that you will permit her to flutter at your feet,
and perch and nestle about your awful throne: if
your dreadful Majesty will do this, Sir Minos
may do that which he would not suffer her to do,
i.e. go whistle. I am,
Tremendous Sir
Now and ever will be,
TIMOTHY BOBBIN.
From the Chimney-corner,
Jan. 15, 1739.

T H E B L A C K-B I R. D.
—º-
THE INVOCATION.
Thou who with ale or vile liquors,
Didst inspire Withers, Pryn, and Vicars,
And force them, tho' it was in spite
Of nature and their stars, to write:
Assist me but this once, I implore,
And I shall trouble thee no more.-HUD.
—º-
WHEN bright Apollo's flaming car had run
The southern course, and in our climes begun
To perfect blossoms, and the budding flow’rs
To paint the fields and form the shady bow’rs,
The distant prospects all around were seen
To wear a curious eye-delighting green;
And school-boys stood, while Sloth put on the reins,
And with cramm’d satchels saunt’red in the lanes:
The younger sort would stroll about to get
The daisy, primrose, and the violet;
While Tom and Will, with eager eyes would view
Each bush and tree, from whence a linnet flew ;
"And every hedge did pry into, to find
The downy structure of the feather'd kind.

168 the black-bird.
Such were the days when Minos would be drest
To look more awful on a day of rest;
His sapient head he deck’d in perriwig
Of three tails dangling, to look quorum big ;
His beaver cock'd, plain-dealing-wise he pull’d
So low, his forehead in it seem’d involv’d ;
But this was done his visage more to grace,
And coup’d a third part from his pouting face:
Being cloak’d and booted, they who knew him not
Thought HUDIBRAs o'er gloomy Styx had got :
And as that knight, so he’d a 'squire to wait,
Whene'er he sally’d forth thro’ creaking gate.
This for his outward-man; but I must strain
For to dissect his wonder-working brain ;
Unless I can get Cibber's fawning muse
To bathe my skull in crowning laurel-juice!
But since I’ve ventur'd the outside to scan,
I’ll slightly touch upon his inward man.
(But know, my angry muse reflects not on
This tinkling cymbal for its jarring tone;
But for affecting those celestial airs,
By which the organ charms the list’ning ears.)
If speech be the true index of the mind,
And doth denote with what the head is lin'd,
We may conclude, that since his speech is clipp’d,
His moving garret is but half equipp'd ; -


THE BLACK-BIRD. j69
But lest a pub won't please the would-be-wise,
His wit wants ballast, and his judgment eyes;
For nature made him without care or art,
And left unfinish’d much the better part:
Or else in forming, tir’d with too much pain,
She nodded o'er him, and so spoil’d his brain.
If any wonder why as judge he’s plac'd,
Or how the bench comes with his worship grac'd,
That thought’s submerg'd in this, to think that we
Are sway’d by fools, much greater knaves than he.
We grant, he seems a genuine chip of those
Convention-wits, who lead us by the nose;
'Tis true, we go like BRUIN to the stake,
Who knows his task, and fain his bonds would break,
But forced on, he shakes his shaggy fur,
And looks with fury on each bridl’d cur;
Craftsman,” the bearward, doth promulgate law,
And threatens wounds from deep Panonian jaw ;
Asserting ne'er a collar’d—whelp doth play
The game that’s fair, but runs a thievish way;
And thinks with justice, in this dire contest,
Each cur should run with fawning tail the first :
Or, if you please, smooth-chins should rule the roast,
And hairy-ruffins kick’d from ev’ry post.
* Wide Gent. Mag, for Jan. 1740, page 20.



170 THE BLACK-BIRD.
Which scheme before all others I prefer,
If my old grannum may be Treasurer,
For I’m her only favºrite, and must taste with her.
But, lest some critic thinks my Ouzel’s flown,
And from a Black-bird, 'tis a Bear-bait grown,
I’ll to his worship once again repair,
That's going now to snuff the country air.
After a turn or two, within the room,
A hem breaks forth—and then he calls his groom,
Here Jack 1 where's Jack / I’m here, his man
replies;
Bring out my horse: and straightway.John complies.
He being gone, the knight must see the glass,
To fix some upright airs in oblong face :
His hand adorn'd with rufil’d shirt, he drew
Unto his head, and set his wig askew :
Then gently strok’d his manly beard, and then
Adjusted three-tail'd peruke once again.
The bob before he’d often toss behind,
As pleas'd his curious self-admiring mind:
He lower'd his eye-brows, made a furrow’d brow,
Pull'd in his chin, more majesty to show :
Pleas'd with the sight, he set aside the man,
Bow’d low, and this soliloquy began:
“I’ll say’t, thou’rt graceful;-very graceful—and
Thy very look will reverence command
THE BLACK-BIRD. 171
Thy dress is handsome, very genteel:—still
Not the least foppish , if I’ve any skill:
| Besides, ’tis known this head can penetrate
Into dark things, and solve each hard debate;
Or, as the proverb says, can see as far
Into a millstone”—here the gate did jar;
For John had done according to command,
And waiting stood with nag, and cap in hand.
The steed was sleek, and bore a lofty crest,
And worth a troop of HUDIBRAS's beast;
Nor ever was Don QUIxot'TE’s dapple fit,
- For speed and beauty, to be nam'd with it;
So this, you’ll say, was fit to bear a pack
Of precious ware, as they, upon his back.
And all agree his worship's teeming full
Of just such wit, as they bore in the skull.
This bonny nag Sir MINOs did bestride,
And thro’ the town with solemn pace did ride;
About ten furlongs they had pass'd, before
The knight and 'squire of silence broke the door.
And then it was the justice came tº himself,
From contemplating on his wit and pelf:
With lisping accent, and emphatic voice
(While pate and bum on thigh kept equal poise,)
He put these queries to his cunning 'squire,
And then sly John to knight rode something nigher.













I 2
172 THE BLACK-BIRD.
“ Jack, thou must tell me true what now I ask,
Since ’tis no wicked or ungodly task.”
“Sir, there's no doubt,” says John. “ Then tell
me, pray,+
What says the world that now I bear such sway?”
“Why, sir, they speak exceeding well of you,
As wise and good—to king and country true.”
“Thou answer'st well; and glad I am to know,
The world such thoughts so justly do bestow.”
Here Jack, with wry mouth, turns his eyes askew,
As he came on, “But hark thee, Jack—tell true—
When I appear, don’t wicked rascals quake?”
“Yes, that they do—and like an aspen shake.”
“What do they think, when I’m upon the bench?”
“You knockdown sin, and burning lustdo quench.”
“Whose judgment is't a knotty matter clears?”
* Sir yours alone sinks twice as deep as theirs.’,
Jack bites his lip ; that while the knight goes On—
* Thy words are good; I'll mend thy wages, John.”
* I thank you, sir–I’m much obliged to you.”
Now th’ Ouzel whistles, wheet-wit, wheet-wit,
whee’u ; -
And so went on like a shrill flute, to play
That gleesome tune, the Twenty-ninth of May.
* Hold, Jack stand still; I hear a whistling noise
Within that house; 'tis sure some atheist's voice


THE BLACK-BIRD. 173
n
Tho' Catholics, I’ve heard my father say,
Would whistle, dance, and sing o'th. Sabbath-day
But who can this be?” Says John, “I cannot tell;
But, man or maid, it whistles very well.”
“Some Papist, Jack!” “In that I gree to you.”
Then comes the prelude,-wheet-wit, wheet-wit,
whee’u.
Both list’ned, while the tune was whistling o'er:
The knight, more vex'd than e'er he was before,
Turn’d short his horse, and in a furious mood,
Said, “I’ll commit him, he’s the serpent’s brood;
He sees me stand, and yet he whistles on
This Sabbath-day :—was such a thing eer known?
'Tis Papist-like to whistle against me,
Or, what's the same, against his Majesty
No doubt he knows I represent the King,
And that we both are but the self-same thing.”
“Sir,” says the 'squire, “this thing I know’t be
true.”
Now comes the flourish,_wheet-wit, wheet-wit,
whee'u,
And so proceeds with the old tune again.
The knight cries out, “O monstrous and profane!
Was ever antichristian impudence
So base, to give both God and man offence

174 - THE BLACK-BIRD.
'Tis most seditious! Jack, light off thy horse,
And bring the rascal, else use all thy force;
For I this moment will commit him safe,
Where he'll not whistle, dance, or sing, or laugh.”
Scarce sooner spoke than John was in, but made
Such queer demands, they knew not what he said
But he repeats, “ The whistling man must go
Before a justice, for he'd have it so.”
The man replies, “ The whistler's good and true,
And serves me well; but what’s all this to you ?
He takes no bribes, he asks for nought but meat,
Fawns on no king, nor doth his country cheat:
He’s not encumber'd with perplexing cares,
Nor meddles with mysterious state affairs;
He'll whistle on, altho' a justice stand
Within the room, and slight his stern command.”
Jack, hearing this, began to smell a rat;
Howe'er he goes and tells the justice flat,
The whistler would not comé ; he fear'd no law,
Or king or justice valued not a straw.
But when the knight heard this, he rav'd and tore,
And several times thus by ASTREA swore:
“I’ll make him like a beacon on a hill,
An everlasting monument of ill;
A sad example of seditious tools,
Of pagan knaves, and antichristian fools.”



THE BLACK-BIRD. 175
And with these words he nimbly quits his horse,
Raging with passion,-never fury worse
And in he flies, with “Where’s this profane wretch
That slights the law, whom I myself must fetch?
Where is this whistling Turk—this stinking he-
Jew 2°
And now the bird sings, wheet-wit, wheet-wit,
whee’u ;
And then the Twenty-ninth of May begun.
“What!” quoth the knight, “ was such a thing
e'er known
And, puppet-like, he whisks himself about,
To see if he could find the whistler out.
The tune went bravely on, whilst he, amazed,
Sought ev'ry corner, and about him gazed;
But still this whistler was not to be Seen,
Which filled the justice with tempestuous spleen :
He stamped with foot, and lift his eyes above,
As tho’ he called on thunder-ruling Jove,
And then burst out in this emphatic strain:
“ Ungodly' wicked! heath'nish and profane !
To break the sabbath l whistle against heav'n,
The king, and me! 'twill never be forgiven
A disaffected tune too!—shameless man,
Notorious rogue –he's of the Jesuits’ clanſ’
And then once more towºrds heav'n his eyes he sent,
And saw the Black-bird in a wire cage pent,



176 THE BLACK-BIRD.
Most sweetly whistling the concluding strain
Which stunn'd the knight, as tho' with lightning
slain. -
He motionless as old Lot's wife did stand,
And still stretch'd out his sense-directing hand;
But at the last he wheels himself about,
His mouth he open'd, and his thoughts flew out.
“Is this the whistler Nay, I scarce believe
But both my eyes and ears do me deceive!
I’ll say’t, 'tis strange, surpassing strange a bird
To whistle tunes l—the like was never heard
I thought it was not possible for art
To teach birds music—nor th’ easiest part
Sure this is some Italian ouzel, brought
O'er Seas, and was by wicked Jesuits taught!
Why poz,” I ne'er was so deceived in all
My life before, and with a thing so small !
I’ll say’t, I took it for some Jacobite
That whistled thus, but who is always right?
A Solomon may play some foolish tricks,
And British CATo f err in politics.”
Then, beckºning finger, makes the man draw
Ilear;
And in soft tone thus whispers in his ear:
* A favourite Word of the knight's for positively.
# Walpole.
-


THE BLACK-BIRD. 177
“Here, honest man, I’ll give thee half-a-crown,
To promise me this thing must not be known;
For should the wicked ever hear this thing -
'Twould shame both me and our most gracious
king.”
The fellow took the piece and made a bow ; ;
But, wiseman-like, in promising was slow.
And knight perceiving that the bird was put
In close confinement, and in limbo shut,
Old Oliverian and fanatic zeal
Grew cold, and did to crusted ice congeal :
- And calm as midnight took his leave, -but said,
“Be sure this thing be never public made.”
Thus MINOs left the Black-bird closely pent,
And, mounting steed, on new adventures went.
3-
T-


LAN CASHIRE HOB
AND
THE QU A C K DOCTOR.
–4–
A TALE. 1762.


-- - ( 181 )
LAN CASHIRE HOB
THE QUA C K DOC TO R.
A TALE. 1762.
—º-
A THRIFTY carl was tired of lonely cot,
Because the tooth-ache he so often got.
six teeth were all he had to chew his food;
All gave him pain, but none could do him good.
Hob hearing Rochdale town did then contain
A famous quack, that drew teeth without pain :
To him he flies, and in a voice as loud
As Stentor's, thus bespoke him thro’ the crowd,
“ Ho–onist mon, what munneh gi’ ye to drea
A twish of pleagues me awmust meet on deaf”
“Sixpence,” the quack replies.—Hob spoke again,
“ On conneh do’t me, thinkmeh, beawt mitch pein?”
“ Ho, weel enough.”—Quoth Hob, “ Suppose
I two,
Yoan do for meenpunce?” “That I will not do.”



182 LANCASHIRE HOB AND
“ Heaw monny then for twelvepunce winneh poo?”
“ All that thou hast.”—Quoth Hob, “ They’re
just enoo.”
The doctor took this for a country joke,
*Till he saw Hob hard pressing thro’ the folk,
And mount the stage.—Quack now some mirth
intends, *
And slily for a pair of pincers sends ;
Thinking he'd met one of those puny fools
Would run away from such inhuman tools.
Hob takes the pincers: “ Vara weel,” said he,
“If they’m fit yo, I'm Shure they win fit me.”
Hob now aloft is seated in a chair,
With open mouth, in which the quack did stare;
Who laughing said, “You have but six, I find,
And they’re so loose, they’ll wag with ev’ry wind.”
“ Better for yo, yo known; do yo yer job.”
“Yes, yes, and quickly too, my honest Hob:
Hold up your head–Oh 1–here is one, you see;
Come, hold again; here's two—would you have
three ?”
“I think of mon's a foo; we bargint plene,
Poo these aw eawt, or set thoose in ogen.”
“If that be th’ case, hold up again, my friend,
Come, open wide, and soon the work we'll end.”


THE QUACK DOCTOR. 183
Hob now extends his spacious jaws so wide,
There's room for pincers, and good light beside.
Cries quack, “Here's three, here's four?”—Hob
bawls out, “Oh ſ*
“Hold, hold,” says quack, “there's something
more to do : -
Come, gape again;–here's five-here's six-and
th’ last,
And now I’m sure thy tooth-ache pains are past.”
“That’s reet,” quoth Hob, “gi' me meh teeth, on
them - -
I’ll pey os freely ossom roycher men."
The quack complies, and Hobhis twelve-pence paid;
Then, in dismounting, to the mob thus said:
“ They’re arron foos of sixpence pein for one,
While for o shilling I ha six jobs done.
But still they're bigger foos that live e pein,
When good seawnd teeth may choance to come
ogen.”
The doctor stares—and hastily replies, -
“They come again : not till the dead shall rise.
| One single tooth no more thy jaws shall boast,
I hold a crown thou ev’ry tooth hast lost.”
“'Tis done,” quoth Hob :—and stakes a Charles's
CrOWn;
The quack as nimbly throws five shillings down.


| 84 LANCASHIRE HOB, &c.
Hob takes up all, and in a neighbour's hand
Secures the total: then makes his demand.
“Measter, yo know eawr bet is, that I’ve lost
My teeth; and that I have not none to boast.”
The quack replies, “'Tis true; and what by
hat 7”
“ Why, see I’ve six neawo eh meh owd scull-hat.
Ne, sur, if yoan geaw wimmy whoam, I’ll shew
Yo ery tooth ot e meh meawth did groo.”
The quack ill-vex'd he such a bite should meet,
Turn’d on his heel, while Hob said, “ Sur—good
meet.”
G. H. Davidson, Printer and Stereotype Founder
Hreland Yard, Blackfriars.
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