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THE
SPECTATOR




I








V
Y




The
SPECTATOR
No, i, Thursday, March 1, 1711
to
No, 80, Friday, June       1, 1711
VOLUME
I
The Text Edited and Annotated by
G, GREGORY SMITH
With an Introductory Essay by
AUSTIN DOBSON
LONDON
J, M, DENT & CO,, 67 S, JAMES'S ST,, S,W,
MDCCCXCVII




i
I
I








PREFACE
D   ID  Fashion require a dedication, in the appro,
priate manner of Mr, Spectator, to whom should
it be made but to that "eminent historian" who
so confidently proclaimed the enduring reputation of
"those little diurnal essays"?  It would be a tender
pleasure to feel that it might be agreeable to him
to hear that they are "still extant," and that these
"diversions and characters" have, to his eternal praise
as an ingenious critic, long survived the reign of
"Queen Anne the First" He might pardon a sentence
of prophecy,-prompted by his own excellent example,
-that his critical wisdom in this matter will be as
greatly honoured in the more learned reign of Queen
Anne the Third, But dedications are departed with
Old Style, and it is a vanity to say that Addison, in
masquerade as this "imaginary historian," has rightly
anticipated the verdict of posterity,  It may be more
to the purpose to state, as would have been done in
the dedication, the claims of this new edition upon
Mr, Spectator's later friends and "constant readers,"
The main intention of these volumes is to preserve
the original freshness of the text, to reject, in the
words of old Thomas Sprat, "all amplifications, digress
vii                   sions


i




viii           THE SPECTATOR
sions, and swellings of style," and to "return back to
the primitive purity and shortness,"  If some of our
classics have become corrupt in the careless hurry to
supply an eager public, the Spectator has suffered, in
a more leisurely way, from the attentions of a number
of editorial adepts, painfully solicitous of its reputation for
elegance, Even as early as 1764 "innumerable corrupt
tions" had crept in, to the sorrow of the editor of the
Reliques of Ancient Poetry, The laudable attempt at
reformation which he made in his edition was how,
ever soon forgotten; and it was left to the Bissets and
the Chalmerses, and the cheap retailers of their texts, not
only to undo his labours, but to set a detestable fashion
of flamboyant emendation, In this plight the Spectator
remained till 1868, when Mr, Henry Morley brought out
his one/volume edition, "reproducing the original text,
both as first issued, and as corrected by its authors,"
For many years it has remained the popular, perhaps
the only accessible, complete edition; and, if it has
somewhat failed of its purpose in its tangle of square
brackets, if the annotations are capricious, and some,
times erroneous, it has, notwithstanding, well deserved
the gratitude of students of English letters,-a gratitude;
which would have had ampler expression had the format
and type been less a matter of vexation,
The Spectator was published daily, in single sheets
of foolscap folio, printed in double columns on both sides,
The first number appeared on 1st March 1711, and the last
on 6th December 1712, The sheets were afterwards
republished in monthly parts, and in November 1711, a
revised edition in octavo volumes was announced, Two;
volumes




PREFACE


volumes, " well bound and gilt, two guineas," were issued
to the subscribers on 8th January 1712, by " S, Buckley,
at the Dolphin in LittleBritain, and J, Tonson, at
Shakespear'sHead, overagainst Catherinestreet in the
Strand," The third and fourth appeared sometime in
April of that year; and the fifth, sixth, and seventh early
in 1713, These seven volumes constitute the Second or
First Collected edition, and with an eighth, edited by
Addison in 1715, from the supplementary papers which
he had published from 18th June to 20th December
1714, supply the text of the present edition, It appeared
preferable to print from this edition rather than from
the original sheets, which have many shortcomings in
style and typography, inevitable in the circumstances
of their publication, It would have been necessary to
incorporate the many errata indicated in the columns of
the early issue, with the result that we should have
had neither the Spectator of the "teaequipage" nor the
carefully revised library edition,  For purely literary
considerations, the later text is interesting as being the
final form in which the writers desired to leave their
work, Historically, too, it is of first importance, for in
Vit and its immediate reprints, rather than in the stray
sheets of the earlier issue, the contemporaries of Steele
and Addison found their amusement and sought their
models of style,
It is to be hoped that the reproduction of the antique
manner of the original in regard to spelling, punctual
tion, italics, and capital letters will not be condemned
as antiquarian pedantry, A   slight perusal must con,
vince the reader that these are not to be excused as
the




THE SPECTATOR


the caprice of the printer or the lazy fancy of the core
rectors, Though Swift satirically reminds us that
"When Letters are in vulgar Shapes,
'Tis ten to one the Wit escapes
But, when in Capitals exprest,
The dullest Reader smoaks the Jest,"
we may quite seriously accept the capitals and commas
of the original, and even hope to learn from the oldfashioned emphasis and pause not a little of the de,
velopment of English prose technique, The punctual
tion is rhetorical rather than logical, and should not,
any more than should the bygone guise of a few
words, mar the simple enjoyment of the most modern
reader,  Printers' errors are, of course, not reproducedi and a few slight alterations have been made
to avoid misunderstanding, The most serious inters
ference is in the case of such plurals as Opera's, and
such possessives as Peoples, which have been changed
to Operas and People's, forms which the punctilious
critic may know are to be found in the company of
their antique sisters, The Latin and Greek mottoes and
quotations have been revised,  Many of them seem to
have been written down, like Steele's story of Mr, Inkle,
'as they dwelt upon the memory,' though not always
with the same literary pleasure to the reader, Verbal
errors and impossible verses in the quotations in the
text have been corrected; but the mere fashion of conw
temporary scholarship has been preserved, for it would
have been an historical impropriety to supplant the
worthy Tonson by the more learned Teubner,       The
extracts




PREFACE


xi


extracts from English writers have been left untouched,
The memorial ingenuity shown in these is often too
interesting to be lost; and sometimes the passages
were intentionally misquoted,  The reader will find
the chief deviations from the original texts indicated
in the Notes,   Verses, such as Pope's Messiah or
Addison's 'Pieces of Divine Poetry,' which were printed
for the first time in the Spectator, are given in the
ordinary type of the Papers; but the quoted passages
have been set up in type of a smaller size,      The
humorous 'Advertisements' which reappeared in the
Collected Edition will be found in their places in these
volumes, Some of the original advertisements, in small
type of the kind which Mr, Bickerstaff commended for
"giving the reader something like the satisfaction of
prying into a secret," are referred to in the Notes, when
they seem  to illustrate the text of the Papers,  The
page of this edition is smaller, but it contains a larger
portion of the letterpress,
When Eustace Budgell wrote his preface to the
Characters of Theophrastus, he chid La Bruy're for
"hinting at so many Grecian customs," which obliged the
i reader to peruse explanations which were longer than
the sentences in the text, I would fain impute to that
author and his greater associates in the Spectator a like
neglect of consideration towards a modern editor and
modern readers,  It is an increasingly difficult task to
know how much requires to be explained, and to do it
within the narrowest limit, I hope I shall not be found
guilty of those absurdities and superfluities which Addison,
in one of the Spectators, satirises as a common vice
in




THE SPECTATOR


in " a new edition of a Classick Author," I may at least
claim that I have avoided excess in the seductive record
of various Readings, and that I have made the few notes
of "different senses" and "new elegances" in respectful
obedience to Mr, Spectator's editorial canon,  In the
notes proper I have endeavoured, when possible, to
explain matters by the aid of contemporary writings,
Of these the Tatler stands first in importance, not
merely because it came as a kind of prelude to the
Spectator, but because it was the direct model for the
literary plan and details of the later journal,  It had
already introduced, in almost identical form, to the
public which welcomed the Spectator, the notion of
the Club, the types of the coterie, their policy of
reformation of manners, their polite attention to the
fair sex, their critical hobbies, their concern about
Italian Operas and the rudeness of Starers, and a
hundred other matters, even to the detail of the rural
Andromache who could take a gate in good style, or
of the Upholsterer who had gossip of the Indian
Kings,  This close relationship is indeed a serious
temptation to editorial excess, for there is hardly
a page of the earlier publication which does not afford i
some illustration of a passage in the later,  Further
aid has been derived from the writings of Steele,
Addison, Budgell, and others directly connected with
the Spectator, The works of Dryden, Shadwell, Swift,
and Pope have often given point to the commentary;
and certain books which were popular at the time or
were likely to be known to the writers,-such     as
Menagiana, the Characters of La Bruyere, and the
editions




PREFACE


Xlil


editions of the French critics, —have yielded not a little
information on matters which could not be explained
by the light of nature, To these contemporary
aids, together with the invaluable prints by Hogarth,
must be added the familiar collections of Nichols, the
Essays of Nathan Drake, and the theatrical histories of
Downes, Baker, and    especially Genest,  The  older
annotated editions of the Spectator have been examined
with some profit, though not without a fixed suspicion
of their authority, I gladly express my indebtedness for
many suggestions to Mr, Henry Morley's edition, and
to Mr, Austin Dobson's Selections from Steele and
his other well-known volumes, Of the value of Mr,
Dobson's contributions to the literature of the Spectator
and its time it would indeed be superfluous, if not
impertinent, to speak,  In all critical symposia on the
Eighteenth Century, we naturally pay "a particular
Deference to the Discourse of this Gentleman"; and,
for my own part, I may say, as Mr, Spectator did of
his worthy friend, that it is a particular pleasure that
he has "undertaken the cause" of the present edition
before a critical "Body of Friends," If I am confident
t that his collaboration will make them kindly disposed
at the outset, I am as confident that none will attach
any responsibility to him for the editorial shortcomings
which closer perusal may reveal,
The Biographical Index in the eighth volume contains
a brief account of all contemporary persons mentioned
in the Spectator, Those whose names were historical
to Addison's readers, and such of his time as are
historical to us, are entered for the sake of completeness,
but




xiv            THE SPECTATOR
but are not described, It would serve small purpose to
sketch Longinus, or Dryden, or even Addison, in
epitome; but it may be useful to put on record such
minor worthies as Kidney of the St, James's, Powell the
puppet showman, and even Sir Richard Blackmore, The
Subject Index, the latest of a long series since 1712, has
been specially prepared for this edition,  Only the page
references are given, as the addition of a brief description to each number would seriously increase the bulk
of the last volume,
The text is printed from the copy in the Library
of the University of Edinburgh,   The sixth volume,
which is missing, is supplied from the copy in the
British Museum, The volumes have been collated with
the complete and wellpreserved set of the original
sheets in the Advocates' Library, some of which once
graced the tables of Sam's Coffeehouse in Ludgate
Street  That the British Museum     does not possess
a perfect edition of the Spectator, either in sheet, or
in volume, before 1744, may be taken as an indication.
of the scarcity of the earlier editions,  It is also a
striking proof of the immense popularity of the work,
for there is nothing so fell as the thumb of popular
affection, Whether to pray for such a fate for these
volumes, or to hope against it, is a fascinating dilemma
which may be respectfully left to those who "give
their days and nights to the volumes of Addison,"
G, GREGORY SMITH.
August 1897,




INTR OD UCTIO N
A   MONG the items of intelligence in that un Pre,
rivalled newsletter which Swift was in thelimi^ary
habit of scribbling off periodically to Mrs Dingley
and Mrs Johnson at Dublin, there are frequent re,
ferences to the Spectator and its predecessor, the
Tatler, When Swift began his Journal in September
1710, the Tatler had already reached its two hundred
and nineteenth number, and must have been well"
known to his correspondents, since he speaks of
it much as folks might speak of any paper that
everybody is sure to see,    Have they "smoakt"
his letter (an admirable effort, by the way) about the
corruptions of style   I t is greatly liked/ and he
himself thinks it "a pure one," Next he is at work
on a "poetical Description of a Shower in London,"*
which he has finished-" all but the beginning,"
Why does "Madam      Stell" persist that he wrote
"Shaver7 " —he asks later,  Elsewhere is a reference
to his share in Addison's Adventures of a Shillting
the original hint for which its author admits was
given to him   by a friend with "an inexhaustible
Fund of Discourse," Then again Swift has drawn up,
jointly with Rowe and Prior, a protest against the substitution of the words "Great Britain " for "England,"
* Tatler, No. 238,  t Tatler, Na 249,  a
xv




xvi


THE SPECTATOR




Pre,    a proposal which, even in the present year of grace,
liminar  s still under debate,*  A  page or two farther on,
the long-pending misunderstanding with Steele has
reached an acute stage, and the record bears witness
to it,  The Tatlers have fallen off   he never sees
either Addison or Steele  he has sent them no more
hints,  After this final announcement (more deadly
even than St John's Stamp Act ), one is prepared to
hear of the collapse of the paper. Oddly enough,
it does collapse, in the very next entry. "Steele's last
Tatler came out to-day'" "It was time, for he.grew
cruel dull and dry,"   But Swift's love of letters is
greater than   his irritation  against his  alienated
friends, and two months after, he is writing enthu"
siastically of Steele's fresh venture, "Have you seen
the Spectator yet, a paper that comes out every day I
'Tis written by Mr Steele, who seems to have gathered
new life, and have a new fund of witi it is in the
same nature as his Tatlers, and they have all of
them had something pretty/" The praise was not
undeserved    By March 16, when      the above was
written the Spectator had been in vigorous existence
for a fortnight.  The shortefaced sage was already^
taking the measure of mankind I and if Sir Roger de
Coverley had been but broadly outlined, the " Vision
of Public Credit" had been penned, the story of Inkle
* "Ia Scotland 35,000 signatures have been put to a memorial
asking that 'Great Britain' and 'British' should be substituted
for 'England' and 'English' in State documents and official
references to national institutions like the Army" (St James's
Gazette, June 3, 1897),
and


I




INTRODUCTION                  xvil
and Yarico told, and Swift himself-though Mrs Pre,
Pilkington says he "had not laugh'd above twice" liminary
in his life-might reasonably have relaxed a little
over the humours of Nicolini and the Lion,   The
Spectator, in short, had become not merely an indispensable "Part of the Tea Equipage" (as claimed in
its tenth issue), but a necessary of intellectual life,
The smart young Templars (in their gorgeous dressingKgowns and strawberry sashes) were already
crying out for it at Serle's and the Grecian  it was
permanently en lecture at Will's and the St James's
Coffeeshouse  solemn quidnuncs and deliberate cluboracles (like Mr Nisby of the Citizen's Journal) were
beginning to take it for the text of their daily dissertations! while Mrs Betty carried it up at noon
with Clarinda's chocolate, between the newest patterns
of Mr Lutestring the mercer and the latest missive
from Mr Froth,
The farewell number of the Tatler appeared on The
the 2nd of January, 1711  the first number of the Tatler
and
Spectator on the Ist of March following, In appear- Spectator,
ance the two papers were not dissimilar, Both were
~single folio leaves in double column  both-at all
events when the Tatler was nearing its end-consisted of a single essay, headed by a Latin quotation,
and followed by advertisements,  Each was equally
open to the charge, which had been made by an
injured correspondent, of being offered to the world
on "Tobacco Paper" in "Scurvy Letter,"   The only
material difference was that the Tatler was published
three times a weekl and the Spectator was published
b               daily




XViii


THE SPECTATOR


The     daily-a difference scarcely enough in itself, one would
Taer    suppose, to justify a fresh departure, But why the
Spectator, Tatler was prematurely concluded at the two hundred
and seventy-first number, and the Spectator substituted
for it, remains a problem  the solution of which is
still to seek, Steele's story is, that he had become
individually identified with "Mr Bickerstaff,/ and that
his own fallible personality was powerless to give
authority to his office of Censor. "I shall not carry
my Humility so far as to call my self a vicious Man,
but at the same Time must confess, my Life is at
best but pardonables And with no greater Character
than this, a Man would make but an indifferent
Progress in attacking prevailing and fashionable Vices,
which Mr Bickerstaff has done with a Freedom - of
Spirit that would have lost both its Beauty and
Efficacy, had it been pretended to by Mr Steele,"
Upon the face of them  these are sufficient reasons,
and they would have sufficed had it not been for the
fact that the Tatler was almost immediately succeeded
by another paper which-as Swift says truly-was
" in the same nature," But it has also been suggested
that there were other reasons at which Steele himself,
in his valedictory words, hints vaguely,  "What I
find is the least excusable Part of all this Work,"-he
tells us, —"is that I have in some Places in it touched
upon Matters which concern both the Church and
State," This obiter dictum opens too long and intricate
an enquiry to be here pursued in detail. Briefly
stated, it would seem  that certain utterances of Mr
Bickerstaff (not of necessity from  Steele's pen) had
offended




INTRODUCTION


xix


I


offended Harley, who had come into power while The
the Tatler was in progress, and that with those aner
utterances its cessation was in some way connected, Spectator,
A  certain amount of colour is given to this contention in a tract by John   Gay which expressly
says that the Tatler was laid down as a sort of submission to, and composition with, the Government
for some past offences,  But here again it is to be
observed that the Spectator, though, at the outset, pros
fessing neutrality between Whigs and Tories, neither
observed nor engaged to observe a total abstinence
from politics, so that, after all, caprice, or the weariness
of the work which Swift alleges, may have played a
foremost part in those " Thousand nameless Things"
which made it irksome to Steele to continue to per,
sonate Mr Isaac Bickerstaff  One circumstance, however, is beyond all question, Whether Defoe's Review
or the Athenian Mercury or the London Gazette had
most to do with the establishment of the Tatler may be
debatable I but there can be no doubt that the Spectator
is the legitimate successor of the Tatler, The Tatler is
the Spectator in the making  and the Spectator is the
developed and perfected Tatler, which, beginning with
little save the Quicquid agunt Homines of its motto,
gradually grew more ethical and less topical, restricting itself at last almost exclusively to those separate
essays on single subjects which we are still wont to
associate with the name of the Spectator.
But if it can be proved that we owe the Spectator Steele
to the Tatler, it is equally demonstrable that we owe Addson.
Addison to Steele,   When that quondam    trooper,
"    Christian


I
I
i




XX


THE SPECTATOR


Steele   "Christian Hero," and stage-moralist, Queen Anne's
addison, Gazetteer, casting about for something to supplement
an income which had always consisted largely of
expectations, hit upon the project of a paper which
should combine the latest Foreign Intelligence with
the newest Gossip of the Town, Addison was Secretary
to the LordsLieutenant of Ireland,  At this date, his
contributions to literature consisted practically of an
Opera of Rosamond which had failed, of a volume of
travels on the Continent which might have been written
at home (like Du Halde's China), and of the Campaign,
a long incubated * "Gazette in Rhyme" concerning
the Battle of Blenheim, which included a fortunate
simile about an angel in a whirlwind, With Steele's
literary venture came Addison's literary opportunity,
When, in the new periodical which his old schools
fellow's inventive spirit had started, he recognised a
remark of his own, he sent him a contributions and
although it was some time before he began to write
regularly, it was clear from the first that he had found a
favourable vehicle for his unique and hitherto latentgifts
of humorous observation, Steele's own qualifications
were, of course, by no means contemptible, He was
a sympathetic critic S he had the true journalistic
faculty of taking fire readily! his knowledge of the
contemporary theatre was not only exceptional but
experimentall and he had the keenest eye for the
ridiculous, the kindest heart for sorrow and distress,
* "Next Week will be Published the long expected Poem, by
Joseph Addison, Esq, called The Campaign and sold by Mr,
Jacob Tonson " (The Diverting Post, Dec. 29, 1704).
But




INTRODUCTION


XXI




But there is little doubt that in the finely wrought La Steele
Bruyerelilke sketches of Tom Folio, Ned Softly, and Addison.
the Political Upholsterer, in the Rabelaisian Frozen
Voices and the delightful Adventures of a Shilling,
Addison attained a level higher than anything at
which his friend had aimed, Re-acting upon Steele's
own efforts, these papers stimulated him to new
ambitions, and gave to the latter half of the Tatler,
as he himself admitted, an elegance, a purity, and
a correctness which had been no initial part of his
hastilyconceived and hurriedly-executed scheme, "I
fared"-he said, in words which have become his,
torical —"like a distressed Prince who calls in a
powerful Neighbour to his Aid I was undone by my
Auxiliary! when I had once called him in, I could
not subsist without Dependance on him," And what,
ever may be the secret history of the cessation of the
Tatler, incapacity to carry it on can hardly be urged
as an explanation, For, when it came to an end, not
only had its original projector raised his own standard,
but during the course of his enterprise, he had
secured the services of an anonymous assistant
b whose equipment in the way of delicate irony and
whimsical fancy has never yet been surpassed,
Under these auspices then, the Spectator made its The
first appearance on the 1st of March, 1711, Of the Spectator.
circumstances  which   preceded  that  appearance
nothing definite has been recorded, Some outline,
some scheme of campaign, should-one would thinkhave been determined upon before publication, but
the information which has come down to us tends
rather




xxii


THE SPECTATOR


jThe     rather the other way, Tickell, who afterwards edited,Spectator Addison's works with a strong bias in his deceased
patron's favour, says, in apologising for including
one of Steele's papers among Addison's, that "the
Plan of the Spectator, as far as regards the feigned
Person of the Author, and of the several characters
that compose his Club, was projected in concert with
SIR RICHARD STEELE"-a statement which some later
critics have most unaccountably interpreted to mean
that the honours belong exclusively to Addison, But
almost in his next sentence Tickell goes on-"As
for the distinct Papers, they were never or seldom
shewn to each other, by their respective Authors" —
which is hardly in favour of any elaborate programme or associated action, Indeed, apart from  a
certain rough agreement as to the first two numbers,
or "Prefatory Discourses," there seems to have been
no such elaborate programme, and any assertion to
the contrary prompts the suspicion that the Spectator
notwithstanding the famous "noctura versate manu,
versate diurna " of Johnson, is more talked about than
read, In Number I, which is undeniably by Addison,
he sketched lightly and with his own inimitable touch,
that taciturn  "Lookerwon,"  whose  ' Sheetfull of
Thoughts" was to appear every morning, Sundays
excepted,  Following this, in Number 2, which is as
unmistakably Steele's, was dashed off the little group
of " select Friends," who were to make up the Spectator
Club, headed by the kit-cat of Sir Roger de Coverley,
The other five members were a Templar, a Clergyman, a Soldier (Captain Sentry), a Merchant (Sifr
Andrew




INTRODUCTION


xxili
10 0
XXInL


Andrew Freeport), and Will, Honeycomb, an elderly The
fine gentleman and Man of Pleasure. A CommitteeSpectator,  A
from this body was to sit nightly in order to inspect
"all such Papers as may contribute to the Advances     i
ment of the Publick   Weal"   Some of Addison's         |:
advocates have attempted to transfer the credit of this
second number from Steele to Addison by suggestingi
that the characters were "touched" by the latter.
But even if the style did not exhibit all the indications
of that hasty genius which contrived the "Trumpet
Club " in the Tatler, the paper is disfigured by a piece
of careless bad taste which makes it more than probe
able that Addison never saw it until it was published,
The passage concerning beggars and gipsies in the
description of Sir Roger, is one which Steele's rapid
pen may conceivably have thrown off in a hurryl
but it is also one to which Addison-supposing him
at this stage to have had the slightest mental idea
of the character whose last hours he was afterwards
to describe with such effective simplicity-could hardly
have given his imprimatur, It is an outrage far less
excusable than  the historical lapse committed by
Tickell, when, in No, 410, he allowed the Knight for
a moment to mistake a woman of the town for a           j
" Woman of Honour, —a mistake, after all, no worse
than that later, and more memorable misadventure,
where an entire family circle were deceived in the
identity of my Lady Blarney and Miss Carolina
Wilelmina Amelia Skeggs,
The truth would appear to be, that the character Sir Roger
of the Worcestershire baronet, so happily developed anlthe
in




xxiv          THE SPECTATOR
Sik Roger in the sequel under the pens of the two friends, was,
and the
Club.   at the outset, rather an accident of invention than the!        Ifirst stage in a preconceived creationl and many
numbers succeeded to Steele's description of the Club
before Sir Roger de Coverley was again seriously
presented to the reader, He is indeed mentioned
incidentally three or four times in subsequent Spectators, but it is not until No, 106 that he really begins
to assume the importance which has made him       a
personage in English Literature, In accordance with
a hint casually dropped in No, 46, Addison in No, 106
gives an account of the Coverley household with its
old-fashioned ways, which include an old chaplain
who understands "a little of BacksGammon,"* and
reads the sermons of Tillotson and Barrow from his
pulpit, Steele came after with another paper, on the
Coverley servants and Addison followed that by the
masterpiece of Will, Wimble, the poor gentleman and
younger brother, who is almost as well known in
letters as the Knight himself   In the next of the
series, Steele, with a hand scarcely less skilful than
that of his colleague, describes the family picture
galleryl and certainly nothing in Addison is happier
than its closing touch about the ancestor who "narrowly
escaped being killed in the Civil Wars" by being
"sent out of the Field upon a private Message, the
Day before the Battel of Worcester,"  Three papers
I       * Swift apparently thought this accomplishment a sine qua
non in a chaplain, "Can the parson of the parish play at backl
gammonl"-he asks Lady Queensberry, when he is proposing
to visit her at Amesbury,
farther


I




INTRODUCTION


XXv




farther on, Addison depicts a country Sunday/ and Sir Roger
Steele responds with an account of Sir Roger and the  lubhe
"perverse beautiful Widow " of the introductory sketch,
) Then we have Sir Roger harewhunting  Sir Roger on
his way to the CountyiAssizes delivering the times
honoured judgment that "much might be said on
both Sides"l and Sir Roger interviewing the Gipsies,
After this, very little is heard of the Knight until he
comes to London, and goes (by this time always with
Addison) to Westminster Abbey, to DruryLane Playhouse (to see Nance Oldfield as Andromache in the
Distrest Mother of Mr Phillips), and to the Springs
Garden at Vauxhall  The last record of him-for we
may neglect the ambiguous tavern-incident referred to
in the previous paragraph-is the admirable letter,
again by Addison, in which Mr Biscuit, the butler,
describes his master's last illness and death, It has been
sometimes asserted that Addison, after the fashion of
Cervantes, killed his hero to prevent greater liberties
being taken with him I but the interval between the
Tickell escapade and the butler's despatch is too wide
to establish any definite connection between the respective occurrences, and, moreover, the Club itself
was obviously being wound up,    Of its remaining
members the authors never made any material use,
In the allotment of the characters, it is but reason,
able to suppose that Addison (in addition to Sir
Roger) would have devoted himself to the Templar
and Will, Honeycomb, while the Soldier, the Merchant,
and the Clergyman would fall to the share of Steele,
In practice, however, nothing so definite ever came to
pass






I


xxvI


THE SPECTATOR


Sir Roger pass, After Steele's first sketch in No 2, the Clergy,
and the
Clbhe  man only once re/appears, while the Templar is
little but a name.   Sir Andrew   Freeport delivers
himself occasionally upon matters of trade, and
Captain Sentry occupies a couple of papers, As for
the gallant Will1 Honeycomb, though he can scarcely
be styled a personnage muet, his chief contribution to
the interest of the fable is the marriage to a country
girl (in a grogram gown) with which he quits both
the Town and the stage.     Whether these portraits
had actual originals is doubtful  Tickell, who should
have been well informed, regarded the whole of the
characters as "feigned"i and Steele, in No, 262,
expressly disclaims the delineation of his contemporaries. The reader, he says, would think the
better of him, if he knew the pains he was at in
qualifying what he wrote after such a manner, that
nothing might be interpreted as aimed at private
persons,  But his disclaimer has been as futile as
the disclaimers of Hogarth and Fielding  and, as usual,
Sir Roger and Will Wimble, Captain Sentry and the
Widow, have not been allowed to lack for models,
Concerning   these  exercises  in  "thought-readingl"
sufficient information will be found in the notes to
the present volume,
Other     The Coverley sequence and the proceedings of the
Papers   Club must not, however, be supposed to constitute the
sole theme of the Spectator, or even to present its
chief feature of interest, Something more than the
fitful apparition of a few  figures whose sayings
and doings scarcely occupy fifty papers out of five
hundred


I






INTRODUCTION


xxvil


'5


hundred and fifty-five must clearly have been required Other
to allure and retain the interest of subscribers whose Papers
enthusiasm  survived an increased price and a prohibitive Stamp Tax*  At this time of day, it is probable
that the graver and more critical papers of Addison,
and the edifying lay sermon   which represents the
"Christian Hero "side in Steele would not find a very
attentive audience, But it must be remembered that,
when they were first penned, it was a new thing to
discover poetry in Chevy Chase and the Children in
the Wood, or to include, in pages professedly occupied
by social sketches and sub-humorous satire, disquisitions upon Death, Benevolence, Ambition, and Solitude,
Under Anna Augusta, Steele's moral essays and
Addison's criticisms enjoyed and deserved a vogue
which new methods of analysis and other fashions of
exhortation have long made impossiblel and in the
old Beauties, they occupy a far larger place than the
studies of contemporary manners and the sketches of
individual types which to us now form     the main
attraction of the Spectator,  Of these sketches and
studies there are enough and to spare,       Neither
t Addison nor Steele, it is true, ever excelled the "first
sprightly runnings" of the Tatler, and it may be
doubted if either afterwards produced anything that
really rivals Mr Bickerstaff's " Visit to a Friend" or (in
its kind) the perennial "Ned Softly"of the earlier paper,
On the other hand, the "Meditations in Westminster
* The actual circulation of the Spectator is somewhat obscure,
Fresh enightenment on this head will no doubt be supplied in
the exhaustively-annotated libraryedition upon which Mr George
A, Aitken is understood to be engaged.




Abbey,




I


xxviii


THE SPECTATOR


Other   Abbey," the "Vision of Mirzah," the "Everlasting
Papers,  Club" the admirable "Citizen's" and "Fine Lady's
Journals,' and the various papers on Head-dresses,
Hoods, Patches, Fans and a hundred other themes
belong to Addison and the Spectator, while Steele, in
the same pages, has many essays which reach the
level of his excellent "Death of Estcourt," his "Ramble
from Richmond to London," his "Stage Coach Journey"
and his "Story of Brunetta and Phillis," Nothing can
give a better notion of the sustained fertility of the two
friends than the statement that, out of the above,
mentioned total of five hundred and fiftyefive numbers,
more than five hundred were written by Steele and
the still nameless "Auxiliary,"* to whom, at the close,
he again, over his own signature, pays grateful tribute,
"I am indeed much more proud of his long continued
Friendship, than I should be of the Fame of being
thought the Author of any Writings which he himself
is capable of producing, I remember when I finished
the Tender Husband, I told him there was nothing I
so ardently wished, as that we might some time or
other publish a Work written by us both, which should
bear the name of the Monument in Memory of our
Friendship "
Addison   But if Addison's assistance as an anonymous conandSteele trbutor to his friend's enterprise had its advantages,
it must be confessed that-as far as that friend is
* Concerning the other contributors, Pope, Eustace Budgell
(who is responsible for Sir Roger in the Hunting Field), John
Hughes and the rest, the reader is referred to the notes at the;
end of these volumes,




concerned








INTRODUCTION


xxix


concerned-it also had its drawbacks,    Although at Addison
and Steele i
first the result was to identify Steele with the entire again,
work much more comprehensively than the circum-               I
>stances warranted (the old folio titles of the Spectator,
in fact, attribute the whole of the papers to him),* upon
the other hand he occasionally became personally
responsible for utterances not his own, which had
given grave offence, So that if, in Swift's words, "he
flourish'd by imputed Witf" he also suffered by imputed
satire, "Many of the Writings now published as his
[Addison's]," he says in his letter to Congreve, "I have
been very patiently traduced and calumniated fort as
they were pleasantries and oblique strokes upon certain
of the wittiest men of the Age,"   When, in Tickell's
edition of 1721, Addison's contributions to the Tatler
were definitely identified, and their extent and import
thoroughly  apprehended, people     began- perhaps
naturally at first —to  transfer a   disproportionate
amount of the credit to Addison, and to assign a much
lower place to Steele, who was sometimes spoken of
as if he were no more than a merely colourless
mediocrity, to whose good fortune it had fallen    to
farm a genius,  This reaction, in spite of the protests
of such critics as Lamb, Hazlitt, and Leigh Hunt,
may be    said to have    culminated  in  Macaulay's
brilliant Edinburgh article of 1843 on Miss Aikin's
"Addison," Here Steele is systematically depressed
* One of these, now before us, runs-" A Compleat Sett of the
SPECTATORS, By Richard Steele, Esq  London  Printed for S,
ucley and J, Tonson, and sold by A. Baldwin near the OxfordArms in Warwick-Lane, MDCCXIII,"
to




I


XXX


THE SPECTATOR


Addison  to exalt his friend, whose worst essay-in the great
and Steele
again,  critical special pleader's opinion-was as good as
the best essay of any of his coadjutors,   Twelve
years after, in March, 1855, Mr John Forster valiantly
took up the cudgels for Steele in the Quarterly,
and from this date Steele's character may be said to
have  been  gradually rehabilitated,  That Addison
was the major contributor to the Spectator, and that
he had gifts of style and expression to which his
colleague could not pretend, may be granted, But
it must also be granted that, as compared with that
colleague, he had some very manifest advantages,
He was, and remained, a contributor only, working
at his ease   and, in   any  failure of fancy, he
could- as Tickell allows- fall back    upon longs
accumulated material (such as his essays on Milton,
Wit, Imagination and the like) to serve his turn,
Steele, on the contrary, was not only responsible
editor, but subeditor as well, and when matter or
invention ran short, he was obliged to "make up"
with the communications of his correspondents, In
the way of reserve "copy," he had nothing but a
few of his own old love-letters to his wife and a
quotation or two from the "Christian Hero," These
conditions were not favourable to "correctness," if
"correctness "had been his aim  and they should be
taken into account in assessing the relative merits of
the two friends, whof it must be noted/ never suc,
ceeded as well when they worked apart as they
succeeded when they worked together,     Although'
they may not have revised each other's writings, it was
the


I






INTRODUCTION


xxxI


the conjunction of their individualities which made Addison
the Spectator what it remains-the most readable of andSteele
the Eighteenth-Century EssayistsI and in this con
ijunction Steele was the originating, and Addison the
elaborating, intellect  The primary invention, the
creative idea, came from  Steele; the shaping power,
the decorative craft from Addison,* What Steele with
his " veined humanity  and ready sympathy derived
from  "conversation,"-to use the eighteenth-century
term for intercourse with the world-he flung upon
his paper then and there without much labour of
selection  what Addison perceived in his environment when-to use Steele's phrase-he began 'to
look about him  and like his company/ he carried
carefully home to carve into some gem of graceful
raillery or refined expression,   Each  writer has,
naturally, the defects of his qualities, If Addison
delights us by his finish, he repels us by his
restraint and absence of fervour if Steele is careless,
he is always frank and genial     Addison's papers
are faultless in their art, and in this way achieve
an excellence which is beyond the reach of Steele's
quicker and more impulsive nature, But for words
which the heart finds when the head is seeking
for phrases glowing with the white heat of a
generous emotion/ for sentences which throb and
tingle with manly pity or courageous indignation, we
must turn to the essays of Steele,
AUSTIN DOBSON,
August, 1897,
* What follows-to obviate laborious paraphrase-is borrowed
almost textually from the writer's life of Steele (1886),




S                                           n



TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE


YOHN LORD SOMMERS,
BARON OF EVESHAM,
My LORD,
SHOULD not act the Part of an impartial Spectator, if
I Dedicated the following Papers to one who is not
of the most consummate and most acknowledged Merit,
None but a person of a finished Character can be the
proper Patron of a Work, which endeavours to Cultivate
and Polish Human Life, by promoting Virtue and Know,
ledge, and by recommending whatsoever may be either
Useful or Ornamental to Society,
I know that the Homage I now pay You, is offering
a kind of Violence to one who is as solicitous to shun
Applause, as he is assiduous to deserve it, But, my
Lord, this is perhaps the only Particular in which your
Prudence will be always disappointed,
While Justice, Candor, Equanimity, a Zeal for the Good
of your Country, and the most persuasive Eloquence in
bringing over others to it, are valuable Distinctions, You
are not to expect that the Publick will so far comply
with your Inclinations, as to forbear celebrating such
extraordinary Qualities, It is in vain that You have
endeavoured to conceal your Share of Merit, in the many
National Services which You have effected, Do what
You will, the present Age will be talking of your Virtues,
tho' Posterity alone will do them Justice,
Other Men pass through Oppositions and contending
Interests in the Ways of Ambition, but Your Great
Abilities have been invited to Power, and importuned
to accept of Advancement Nor is it strange that this
should happen to your Lordship, who could bring into,rthe Service of Your Sovereign the Arts and Policies of
Ancient Greece and Rome; as well as the most exact
Knowledge of our own Constitution in particular, and of
A                      the




2


THE SPECTATOR


the interests of Europe in general to which I must also
add, a certain Dignity in Yourself, that (to say the least
of it) has been always equal to those great Honours
which have been conferred upon You,
It is very well known how much the Church owed
to You in the most dangerous Day it ever saw, that of
the Arraignment of its Prelates; and how far the Civil
Power, in the Late and present Reign, has been indebted
to your Counsels and Wisdom,
But to enumerate the great Advantages which the
publick has received from your Administration, would
be a more proper Work for an History, than for an
Address of this Nature,
Your Lordship appears as great in your Private Life,
as in the most Important Offices which You have born,
I would therefore rather chuse to speak of the Pleasure
You afford all who are admitted into your Conversation,
of Your Elegant Taste in all the Polite Parts of Learning,
of Your great Humanity and Complacency of Manners,
and of the surprising Influence which is peculiar to You
in making every one who Converses with your Lordship prefer You to himself, without thinking the less
meanly of his own Talents, But if I should take notice
of all that might be observed in your Lordship, I should
have nothing new to say upon any other Character of
Distinction,
I am,
My Lord,
Your Lordship's
most Obedient,
most Devoted,
Humble Servant,
THE SPECTATOR,




THE


SPECTATOR.
VOL, I,
No, 1,
[ADDISON.]                     Thursday, March 1, 171~  Tday,
Non fumum ex fulgore, sed ex fumo dare lucem   March 1,
Cogilat, ut speciosa dehinc miracula promat,-Hor.  1711,
HAVE observed, that a Reader seldom peruses a Book
with Pleasure, 'till he knows whether the Writer of
it be a black or a fair Man, of a mild or cholerick Disposi,
tion, Married or a Batchelor, with other Particulars of the
like nature, that conduce very much to the right under,
standing of an Author, To gratifie this Curiosity, which
is so natural to a Reader, I design- this Paper, and my
next, as Prefatory Discourses to my following Writings,
and shall give some Account in them of the several
Persons that are engaged in this Work, As the chief
Trouble of Compiling, Digesting, and Correcting will
fall to my Share, I must do myself the Justice to open
the Work with my own History,
I was born to a small Hereditary Estate, which, accord,
ing to the Tradition of the Village where it lies, was
bounded by the same Hedges and Ditches in William
the Conqueror's Time that it is at present, and has been
delivered down from  Father to Son whole and entire,
without the Loss or Acquisition of a single Field or
Meadow, during the Space of six hundred Years, There
runs a Story in the Family, that when my Mother was
gone with Child of me about three Months, she dreamt
that she was brought to Bed of a Judge: Whether this
might proceed from a LawSuit which was then depends
ing in the Family, or my Father's being a Justice of
the Peace, I cannot determine; for I am not so vain as
to think it presaged any Dignity that I should arrive at
3                       in




4


THE SPECTATOR, No,,   in my future Life, though that was the Interpretation
Thursday, which the Neighbourhood put upon it, The Gravity of
M1arch 1, my Behaviour at my very first Appearance in the World,
and all the Time that I sucked, seemed to favour my
Mother's Dream, For, as she has often told me, I threw
away my Rattle before I was two Months old, and would
not make use of my Coral 'till they had taken away the
Bells from it,
As for the rest of my Infancy, there being nothing in
it remarkable, I shall pass it over in Silence, I find, that,
during my Nonage, I had the Reputation of a very sullen
Youth, but was always a Favourite of my School-master,
who used to say, that my Parts were solid and would
wear well, I had not been long at the University, before I
distinguished my self by a most profound Silences For
during the Space of eight Years, excepting in the publick
Exercises of the College, I scarce uttered the Quantity
of an hundred Words; and indeed do not remember that
I ever spoke three Sentences together in my whole Life,
Whilst I was in this Learned Body I applied myself with
so much Diligence to my Studies, that there are very
few celebrated Books, either in the Learned or the Modern
Tongues, which I am not acquainted with,
Upon the Death of my Father I was resolved to travel
into Foreign Countries, and therefore left the University,
with the Character of an odd unaccountable Fellow, that
had a great deal of Learning, if I would but show it,
An insatiable Thirst after Knowledge carried me into
all the Countries of Europe, in which there was any thing
new or strange to be seen; nay, to such a Degree was
my Curiosity raised, that having read the Controversies
of some great Men concerning the Antiquities of Egypt,
I made a Voyage to Grand Cairo, on purpose to take
the Measure of a Pyramid; and as soon as I had set
my self right in that Particular, returned to my Native
Country with great Satisfaction,
I have passed my latter Years in this City, where I
am frequently seen in most publick Places, tho' there
are not above half a dozen of my select Friends that,
know me; of whom my next Paper shall give a more
particular Account  There is no place of general Resort,
I                                        wherein




THE SPECTATOR


5


wherein I do not often make my appearance; sometimes No. 1.
I am seen thrusting my Head into a Round of Politicians Thursday
at Will's, and listning with great Attention to the Nar M711ach 1
ratives that are made in those little Circular Audiences, 1  *
Sometimes I smoak a Pipe at Child's; and whilst I seem
attentive to nothing but the PostZMan, over-hear the
Conversation of every Table in the Room, I appear
on Sunday nights at St, James's Coffee-House, and sometimes join the little Committee of Politicks in the Inner
Room, as one who comes there to hear and improve,
My Face is likewise very well known at the Grecian,
the CocoaTree, and in the Theatres both of Drury-Lane
and the Hay-Market, I have been taken for a Merchant
upon the Exchange for above these ten Years, and
sometimes pass for a Jew in the Assembly of Stock,
Jobbers at Jonathan's,  In short, whereever I see a
Cluster of People I always mix with them, though I
never open my Lips but in my own Club,
Thus I live in the World, rather as a Spectator of
Mankind, than as one of the Species; by which means
I have made my self a Speculative Statesman, Soldier,
Merchant, and Artizan, without ever medling with any
Practical Part in Life,  I am  very well versed in the
Theory of an Husband, or a Father, and can discern the
Errors in the Oeconomy, Business and Diversion of
others, better than those who are engaged in them; as
Standers-by discover Blots, which are apt to escape those
who are in the Game, I never espoused any Party with
Violence, and am resolved to observe an exact Neutrality
between the Whigs and Tories, unless I shall be forced
to declare myself by the Hostilities of either Side, In
short, I have acted in all the Parts of my Life as a Lookers
on, which is the Character I intend to preserve in this
Paper,
I have given the Reader just so much of my History
and Character, as to let him  see I am  not altogether
unqualified for the Business I have undertaken, As for
other Particulars in my Life and Adventures, I shall
insert them in following Papers, as I shall see occasion,
In the mean time, when I consider how much I have
seen, read and heard, I begin to blame my own Taci,
turnity
S




6


THE SPECTATOR


I; No. L  turnity; and since I have neither Time nor Inclination: Thursday, to communicate the Fulness of my Heart in Speech, I am
March f resolved to do it in Writing; and to Print my self out,
if possible, before I Die, I have been often told by my
Friends that it is Pity so many useful Discoveries which
I have made, should be in the Possession of a Silent Man,
For this Reason therefore, I shall publish a Sheetfull of
Thoughts every Morning, for the Benefit of my Contemporaries; and if I can any way contribute to the Divers
sion or Improvement of the Country in which I live, I
shall leave it, when I am summoned out of it, with the
secret Satisfaction of thinking that I have not Lived in vain,
There are three very material Points which I have
not spoken to in this Paper, and which, for several im,
portant Reasons, I must keep to my self, at least for some
Time I mean, an Account of my Name, my Age, and
my Lodgings, I must confess I would gratifie my Reader
in any thing that is reasonable; but as for these three
Particulars, though I am sensible they might tend very
much to the Embellishment of my Paper, I cannot yet
come to a Resolution of communicating them   to the
Publick,  They would indeed draw    me out of that
Obscurity which I have enjoyed for many Years, and
expose me in Publick Places to several Salutes and
Civilities, which have been always very disagreeable to
me;.fot the greatest Pain I can suffer, is the being
talked to, and being stared at, It is for this Reason
likewise, that I keep my Complexion and Dress, as very
great Secrets; tho' it is not impossible, but I may make
Discoveries of both, in the Progress of the Work I
have undertaken,
After having been thus particular upon my self, I shall
in toMorrow's Paper give an Account of those Gentlemen
who are concerned with me in this Work, For, as I have
before intimated, a Plan of it is laid and concerted (as all
other Matters of Importance are) in a Club, However,
as my Friends have engaged me to stand in the Front,
those who have a mind to correspond with me, may
direct their Letters To the SPECTATOR, at Mr Buckley's
in Little Britain,  For I must further acquaint the
Reader, that tho' our Club meets only on Tuesdays and
Thursdays




THE SPECTATOR                      7
Thursdays, we have appointed a Committee to sit every No, I,
Night, for the Inspection of all such Papers as may con- Thursday,
tribute to the Advancement of the Public Weal,    C    ch
171L
No, 2,
[STEELE,]                           Friday, March 2.
-    Haec ali sex
Vel plures uno conclamant ore, —Juv,
T    HE first of our Society is a Gentleman of Worcestere
shire, of antient Descent, a Baronet, his Name Sir
ROGE DE CovERLY. His great Grandfather was Inventor
5f that famous Country-Dance which is call'd after him,
All who know that Shire are very well acquainted with
the Parts and Merits of Sir ROGER, He is a Gentleman
that is very singular in his Behaviour, but his Singularities
proceed from his good Sense, and are Contradictions to
the Manners of the World, only as he thinks the World
is in the wrong, However, this Humour creates him
no Enemies, for he does nothing with Sourness or
Obstinacy; and his being unconfined to Modes and
Forms, makes him but the readier and more capable to
please and oblige all who know him, When he is in
town he lives in Soho Squares It is said, he keeps
himself a Batchelor by reason he was crossed in Love,
by a perverse beautiful Widow of the next County to
him, Before this Disappointment, Sir ROGER was what
you call a fine Gentleman, had often supped with my
Lord Rochester and Sir George Etherege, fought a Duel
upon his first coming to Town, and kick'd Bully Dawson
in a publick Coffeehouse for calling him  Youngster,
But being ill used by the abovementioned Widow, he
was very serious for a Year and a half; and though, his
Temper being naturally jovial, he at last got over it,
he grew careless of himself, and never dressed afterwards;.he continues to wear a Coat and Doublet of the same
Cut that were in Fashion at the Time of his Repulse,
which, in his merry Humours, he tells us, has been
in and out twelve Times since he first wore it, 'Tis
said Sir ROGER grew humble in his Desires after he had
forgot this cruel Beauty, insomuch that it is reported
he
\I




8


THE SPECTATOR


I No 2,   he has frequently offended in Point of Chastity with
iFriday,  Beggars and Gypsies: But this is look'd upon by his
7   2 Friends rather as Matter of Raillery than Truth,  He is
now in his Fifty sixth Year, cheerful, gay, and hearty,
keeps a good House both in Town and Country       a
great Lover of Mankind; but there is such a mirthful
Cast in his Behaviour, that he is rather beloved than
esteemed  His Tenants grow   rich, his Servants look
satisfied, all the young Women profess Love to him,
and the young Men are glad of his Company     When
he comes into a House he calls the Servants by their
Names, and talks all the way up Stairs to a Visit, I
must not omit that Sir ROGER is a Justice of the Quorum l
that he fills the chair at a QuarterSession with great
Abilities, and three Months ago gain'd universal Ap,
plause by explaining a Passage in the GameAct,
The Gentleman next in Esteem and Authority among
us, is another Batchelor, who is a Member of the Inner
Temple; a Man of great Probity, Wit, and Understand,
ing; but he has chosen his Place of Residence rather
to obey the Direction of an old humoursom    Father,
than in pursuit of his own Inclinations, He was placed
there to study the Laws of the Land, and is the most
learned of any of the House in those of the Stage,
Aristotle and LongPnus arer much better understood by
him than Littleton or Cooke,   The Father sends up
every Post Questions relating to MarriageArticles, Leases,
and Tenures, in the Neighbourhood; all which Questions
he agrees with an Attorney to answer and take care of
in the Lump, He is studying the Passions themselves,
when he should be inquiring into the Debates among
Men which arise from them, He knows the Argument
of each of the Orations of Demosthenes and Tully, but
not one Case in the Reports of our own Courts    No one
ever took him for a Fool, but none, except his intimate
Friends, know he has a great deal of Wit, This Turn
makes him   at once both disinterested and agreeable
As few of his Thoughts are drawn from Business, they
are most of them  fit for Conversation, His Taste of
Books is a little too just for the Age he lives in; he
has read all, but approves of very few, His Familiarity
with




THE SPECTATOR


9


I


with the Customs, Manners, Actions, and Writings of No, 2
the Antients, makes him  a very delicate Observer of Friay,
what occurs to him in the present World,   He is an M    2
excellent Critick, and the Time of the Play is his Hour
of Business; exactly at five he passes thro' NewInn,
crosses thro' RusselCourt, and takes a turn at Will's
'till the play begins; he has his Shooes rubbed and his
Perriwig powder'd at the Barber's as you go into the
Roses It is for the Good of the Audience when he is
at a Play, for the Actors have an Ambition to please him,
The Person of next Consideration is Sir ANDREW
FREEPOT, a Merchant of great Eminence in the City of
London,   A  Person of indefatigable Industry, strong
Reason, and great Experience, His Notions of Trade
are noble and generous, and (as every rich Man has
usually some sly Way of Jesting, which would make
no great Figure were he not a rich Man) he calls the
Sea the British Common, He is acquainted with Come
merce in all its Parts, and will tell you that it is a stupid and
barbarous Way to extend Dominion by Arms; for true
Power is to be got by Arts and Industry, He will often
argue, that if this Part of our Trade were well cultivated,
we should gain from one Nation; and if another, from
another, I have heard him prove, that Diligence makes
more lasting Acquisitions than Valour, and that Sloth
has ruined more Nations than the Sword, He abounds
in several frugal Maxims, among which the greatest
Favourite is, 'A Penny saved is a Penny got,' A General
Trader of good Sense, is pleasanter company than a general
Scholar; and Sir ANDREW having a natural unaffected
Eloquence, the Perspicuity of his Discourse gives the same
Pleasure that Wit would in another Man, He has made
his Fortunes himself; and says that England may be
richer than other Kingdoms, by as plain Methods as he
himself is richer than other Men; tho' at the same Time
I can say this of him, that there is not a point in the Comn
pass but blows home a Ship in which he is an Owner,
Next to Sir ANDREW in the Club-room   sits Captain
S, a Gentleman of great Courage, good Under,
standing, but invincible Modesty, He is one of those that
deserve very well, but are very awkward at putting their
Talents




10


THE SPECTATOR


I No, 2,   Talents within the Observation of such as should take Notice
riay,  of them, He was some Years a Captain, and behaved
If 171,   himself with great Gallantry in several Engagements, and
at several Sieges; but having a small Estate of his own,
and being next Heir to Sir ROGER, he has quitted a Way of
Life in which no Man can rise suitably to his Merit, who
is not something of a Courtier as well as a Soldier, I
have heard him often lament, that in a Profession where
Merit is placed in so conspicuous a View, Impudence
should get the better of Modesty, When he has talked to
this Purpose I never heard him make a sour Expression,
but frankly confess that he left the World, because he was
not fit for it, A strict Honesty and an even regular
Behaviour, are in themselves Obstacles to him that must
press through Crowds, who endeavour at the same End
with himself, the Favour of a Commander, He will
however in his Way of Talk excuse Generals, for not
disposing according to Mens Desert, or enquiring into it:
For, says he, that great Man who has a Mind to help me,
has as many to break through to come at me, as I have to
come at him   Therefore he will conclude, that the Man
who would make a Figure, especially in a military Way,
must get over all false Modesty, and assist his Patron
against the Importunity of other Pretenders, by a proper
Assurance in his own Vindication, He says it is a civil:       Cowardice to be backward in asserting what you ought to
expect, as it is a military Fear to be slow in attacking
when it is your Duty,    With this Candour does the:       Gentleman speak of himself and others,   The same
Frankness runs through all his Conversation,    The
military Part of his Life has furnish'd him with many
Adventures, in the Relation of which he is very agreeable
to the Company; for he is never over-bearing, though
accustomed to command Men in the utmost Degree below
Ihim  nor ever too obsequious, from an Habit of obeying
Men highly above him,
But that our Society may not appear a Set of
Humourists   unacquainted  with the Gallantries and
Pleasures of the Age, we have among us the gallant
W' u W   HoNycoI, a Gentleman who according to his
Years should be in the Decline of his Life, but having
i  ever




THE SPECTATOR


11


ever been very careful of his Person, and always had No, 2,
a very easie Fortune, Time has made but very little Friday
Impression, either by Wrinkles on his Forehead, or Traces Mch 2,
in his Brain, His Person is well turn'd, of a good
Height   He is very ready at that sort of Discourse
with which Men usually entertain Women,     He has
all his Life dressed very well, and remembers Habits
as others do Men, He can smile when one speaks to
him, and laughs easily, He knows the History of every
Mode, and can inform you from which of the French
King's Wenches our Wives and Daughters had this
Manner of curling their Hair, that Way of placing their
Hoods; whose Frailty was covered by such a Sort of
Petticoat, and whose Vanity to shew her Foot made that
Part of the Dress so short in such a Year, In a Word,
all his Conversation and Knowledge has been in the
female World, As other Men of his Age will take
Notice to you what such a Minister said upon such and
such an Occasion, he will tell you when the Duke of
Monmouth danced at Court such a Woman was then
smitten, another was taken with him at the Head of
his Troop in the Park, In all these important Relations,
he has ever about the same Time received a kind
Glance or a Blow of a Fan from some celebrated Beauty,
Mother of the Present Lord sucha-one, If you speak
of a young Commoner that said a lively thing in the
House, he starts up, 'He has good Blood in his Veins,
Tom  Mirabell begot him, the Rogue cheated me in
that affair; that young Fellow's Mother used me more
like a Dog than any Woman I ever made Advances
to,' This way of Talking of his very much enlivens the
Conversation among us of a more sedate Turn; and I
find there is not one of the Company, but my self, who
rarely speak at all, but speaks of him as of that Sort of
Man, who is usually called a well-bred fine Gentleman,
To conclude his Character, where Women are not
concern'd, he is an honest worthy Man,
I cannot tell whether I am to account him whom I
am next to speak of, as one of our Company; for he
visits us but seldom, but when he does it adds to every
Man else a new Enjoyment of himself, He is a li.gy.
man,          |.             X




12


THE SPECTATOR


I No, 2,   man, a very philosophick Man, of general Learning,
Friday,  great Sanctity of Life, and the most exact good Breeding,
arch 2, He has the Misfortune to be of a very weak Constitution,
and consequently   cannot accept of such Cares and
Business as Preferments in his Function would oblige
him to 5 He is therefore among Divines what a Chamber,
Counsellor is among Lawyers, The Probity of his Mind,
and the Integrity of his Life, create him  Followers, as
being eloquent or loud advances others,    He seldom
introduces the Subject he speaks upon; but we are so
far gone in Years, that he observes, when he is among
us, an Earnestness to have him    fall on some divine
Topick, which he always treats with much Authority,
as one who has no Interests in this World, as one who
is hastening to the Object of all his Wishes, and conceives
Hope from his Decays and Infirmities, These are my
ordinary Companions,                                R
No, 3,
[ADDISON,]                          Saturday, March 3,
Et quo quisque fere studio devinctus adhaeret
Aut quibus in rebus multum sumus ante morati:          Atque in ea ratione fuit contenta magis mens,
In somnis eadem plerumque videmur obire,-Lucr, L, 4,
N one of my late Rambles, or rather Speculations, I
|         looked into the great Hall where the Bank is kept, and
was not a little pleased to see the Directors, Secretaries,
and Clerks, with all the other Members of that wealthy
Corporation, ranged in their several Stations, according
to the Parts they act in that just and regular Oeconomy,;       This revived in my Memory the many Discourses
which I had both read and heard concerning the Decay
of Publick Credit, with the Methods of restoring it, and
which, in my Opinion, have always been defective,
because they have always been made with an Eye to
I:      separate Interests, and Party Principles,
|:i          The Thoughts of the Day gave my Mind Employ,
ment for the whole Night, so that I fell insensibly into
a kind of Methodical Dream, which dispos'd all my
Contemplations into a Vision or Allegory, or what else
the Reader shall please to call it,
i                                       Methoughts,Il tV                                                  f




THE SPECTATOR


13


Methoughts I returned to the Great Hall, where I had No, 3,
been the Morning before, but, to my Surprize, instead of Saturda
the Company that I left there, I saw towards the upper 71r
end of the Hall, a beautiful Virgin seated on a Throne
of Gold,  Her Name (as they told me) was Publick
Credit,  The Walls, instead  of being adorn'd with
Pictures and Maps, were hung with many Acts of
Parliament written in Golden Letters, At the Upper
end of the Hall was the Magna Charta, with the Act of
Uniformity on the right Hand, and the Act of Toleration
on the left, At the Lower end of the Hall was the Act
of Settlement, which was placed full in the Eye of the
Virgin that sat upon the Throne, Both the Sides of the
Hal were covered with such Acts of Parliament as had
been made for the Establishment of Publick Funds, The
Lady seemed to set an unspeakable Value upon these
several Pieces of Furniture, insomuch that she often
refreshed her Eye with them, and often smiled with
a Secret Pleasure, as she looked upon them; but, at the
same time, showed a very particular Uneasiness, if she
saw any thing approaching that might hurt them, She
appeared indeed infinitely timorous in all her Behaviour s
And, whether it was from the Delicacy of her Constittu
tion, or that she was troubled with Vapours, as I was
afterwards told by one who I found was none of her
Wellwishers, she changed Colour, and startled at every,
thing she heard, She was likewise (as I afterwards          i
found) a greater Valetudinarian than any I had ever
met with, even in her own Sex, and subject to such
Momentary Consumptions, that in the twinkling of an
Eye, she would fall away from  the most florid Complexion, and the most healthful State of Body, and wither
into a Skeleton, Her Recoveries were often as sudden
as her Decays, insomuch that she would revive in a
Moment out of a wasting Distemper, into a Habit of
the highest Health and Vigour,
I had very soon an Opportunity of observing these
quick Turns and Changes in her Constitution1  There
sat at her Feet a Couple of Secretaries, who received
every Hour Letters from all Parts of the World, which
the one or the other of them was perpetually reading
to




14


THE SPECTATOR


i No, 3,  to her; and, according to the News she heard, to
i| Saturday which she was exceedingly attentive, she  changed
Marchj Colour, and discovered many Symptoms of Health or
1   Sickness,
Behind the Throne was a prodigious Heap of Bags
of Mony, which were piled upon one another so high
that they touched the Ceiling, The Floor, on her right
Hand and on her left, was covered with vast Sums of
Gold that rose up in Pyramids on either side of hers
But this I did not so much wonder at, when I heard,
upon Enquiry, that she had the same Virtue in her
Touch, which the Poets tell us a Lydian King was
formerly possess'd of; and that she could convert whatz
ever she pleas'd into that precious Metal,
After a little Dizziness, and confused Hurry of
Thought, which a Man often meets with in a Dream,
methoughts the Hall was alarm'd, the Doors flew open,
and there enter'd half a dozen of the most hideous
Phantoms that I had ever seen (even in a Dream) before
that Time, They came in two by two, though match'd
in the most dissociable Manner, and mingled together in
a kind of Dance, It would be tedious to describe their
Habits and Persons; for which Reason I shall only
inform my Reader that the first Couple were Tyranny
and Anarchy, the second were Bigotry and Atheism, the
third the Genius of a CommonWealth, and a young
Man of about twenty two Years of Age, whose Name
I could not learn, He had a Sword in his right Hand,
which in the Dance he often brandished at the Act of
Settlement; and a Citizen, who stood by me, whisper'd
in my Ear, that he saw a Spunge in his left Hand, The
Dance of so many jarring Natures put me in mind
of the Sun, Moon, and Earth, in the Rehearsal, that
danced together for no other end but to eclipse one
|-,       another,;        The Reader will easily suppose, by what has been
before said, that the Lady on the Throne would have
I      been almost frighted to Distraction, had she seen but
any one of these Spectres; what then must have been;      her Condition when she saw them     all in a Body?
She fainted and dyed away at the Sight
i                                          Et




THE SPECTATOR


15


Et neque jam color est mixto candore ruboris  No, 3,
Nec vigor, & vires, & quae modo visa placebant,  Saturday,
Nec corpus remanet —,-Ov, Met, Lib, 3,        March,
There was as great a Change in the Hill of Mony 171
Bags, and the Heaps of Mony, the former shrinking,
and falling into so many empty Bags, that I now found
not above a tenth part of them   had been filled with
Mony,   The rest that took up the same Space, and
made the same Figure as the Bags that were really
filled with Mony, had been blown up with Air, and
called into my Memory the Bags full of Wind, which
Homer tells us his Hero receiv'd as a Present from
/Eolus, The great Heaps of Gold, on either side the
Throne, now appeared to be only Heaps of Paper, or
little Piles of notched Sticks, bound up together in
Bundles, like Bath'Faggots,
Whilst I was lamenting this sudden Desolation that
had been made before me, the whole Scene vanished,
In the Room of the frightful Spectres, there now enter'd
a second Dance of Apparitions very agreeably matched
together, and made up of very amiable Phantoms, The
first Pair was Liberty with Monarchy at her right
Hand, The second was Moderation leading in Religion;
and the third a Person whom I had never seen, with
the genius of Great Britain, At their first Entrance
the Lady revived, the Bags swell'd to their former Bulk,
the Piles of Faggots and Heaps of Paper changed into
Pyramids of Guineas: And for my own part I was so
transported with Joy, that I awaked, tho', I must confess,
I would fain have fallen asleep again to have closed
my Vision, if I could have done it,                C
No, 4,
[STEEL,]                            Monday, March 5.
- Egregi' mortalem altique silentif-Hor.
A   N Author, when he first appears in the World, is
very apt to believe it has nothing to think of but       I. his Performances, With a good Share of this Vanity in         i
my Heart, I made it my Business these three Days to
listen after my own Fame; and, as I have sometimes
met
D'




16


THE SPECTATOR


'iNo. 4.   met with Circumstances which did not displease me, I
March 5, have been encounter'd by others which gave me as much
||: 1711.  Mortification, It is incredible to think how  empty I
have in this Time observed some Part of the Species
to be, what mere Blanks they are when they first
come abroad in the Morning, how utterly they are at
a Stand 'till they are set a going by some Paragraph
j       in a NewsPaper, Such Persons are very acceptable to
a young Author, for they desire no more in any thing
Ibut to be new to be agreeable, If I found Consolation
among such, I was as much disquieted by the Incapacity of others,  These are Mortals who have a
certain Curiosity without Power of Reflection, and perused my Papers like Spectators rather than Readers,
But there is so little pleasure in Enquiries that so
nearly concern our selves (it being the worst Way in
the World to Fame, to be too anxious about it), that
upon the whole I resolved for the future to go on in
my ordinary Way; and without too much Fear or
Hope about the Business of Reputation, to be very careful of the Design of my Actions, but very negligent
of the Consequences of them,
I     /    It is an endless and frivolous Pursuit to act by any
other RiuiIt     the Care of satisfying our own Minds
in what we do, One would think a silent Man, who
-c'concerned himself with no one breathing, should be;       very liable to Misinterpretations; and yet I remember I
was once taken up for a Jesuit, for no other reason but
my profound Taciturnity, It is from  this Misfortune,
that to be out of Harm's Way, I have ever since affected
Crowds, He who comes into Assemblies only to gratifie
his Curiosity, and not to make a Figure, enjoys the
Pleasures of Retirement in a more exquisite Degree,
than he possibly could in his Closet; the Lover, the
Ambitious, and the Miser, are followed thither by a
i worse Crowd than any they can withdraw from, To
be exempt from   the Passions with which others are, /tormented, is the only pleasing Solitude, I can very
justly say with the antient Sage, I am never less alone
W       than when alone, As I am insignificant to the Come
pany in publick Places, and as it is visible I do not
come




THE SPECTATOR


17


come thither, as most do, to shew my self; I gratifie No 4,
the Vanity of all who pretend to make an Appearance, Mondayl:
and have often as kind Looks from well dressed Gentle- March 5 i
men and Ladies, as a Poet would bestow upon one of
his Audience, There are so many Gratifications attend
this publick sort of Obscurity, that some little Distastes
I daily receive have lost their Anguish; and I did the
other Day, without the least Displeasure, overhear one
say of me, That strange Fellow; and another answer,
I have known the. Fellow's Face these twelve Years,
and so must yous but I believe you are the first
ever asked who he was,      There are, I must con,
fess, many to whom    my Person is as well known
as that of their nearest Relations, who give themselves
no further Trouble about calling me by my Name or
Quality, but speak of me very currently by Mr, Whatd'ye-call-him,
To make up for these trivial Disadvantages, I have
the high Satisfaction of beholding all Nature with an
unprejudic'd Eye; and having nothing to do with Men's
Passions or Interests, I can with the greater Sagacity
consider their Talents, Manners, Failings, and Merits,
It is remarkable, that those who want any one Sense,
possess the others with greater Force and Vivacity,
Thus my Want of, or rather Resignation of Speech,
gives me all the Advantages of a dumb Man, I have,
methinks, a more than ordinary Penetration in Seeing;
and flatter my self that I have looked into the Highest
and Lowest of Mankind, and make shrewd Guesses,
without being admitted to their Conversation, at the
inmost Thoughts and Reflections of all whom  I behold,
It is from hence that good or ill Fortune has no manner
of Force towards affecting my Judgment   I see Men
flourishing in Courts, and languishing in Jayls, with
out being prejudiced from their Circumstances to their
Favour or Disadvantage; but from their inward Manner
of bearing their Condition, often pity the Prosperous and
admire the Unhappy,
Those who converse with the Dumb, know from the
Turn of their Eyes, and the Changes of their Counten,,
ance, their Sentiments of the Objects before them  I         i
B                     have




18


THE SPECTATOR


No. 4,   have indulged my Silence to such an Extravagance,
Monday, that the few who are intimate with me, answer my
lMarch 5, Smiles with concurrent Sentences, and argue to the
very Point I shak'd my Head at without my speaking,
WILL. HONEYCOM  was very entertaining the other Night
at a Play to a Gentleman who sat on his right Hand,
while I was at his Left, The Gentleman believed WILL.
was talking to himself, when upon my looking with
great Approbation at a young thing in a Box before
us, he said, 'I am quite of another Opinions She has,
I will allow, a very pleasing Aspect, but methinks
that Simplicity in her Countenance is rather childish
than innocent' When I observed her a second time, he
said, 'I grant her Dress is very becoming, but perhaps
the Merit of that Choice is owing to her Mother; for
though,' continued he, 'I allow a Beauty to be as much
to be commended for the Elegance of her Dress, as a
Wit for that of his Language; yet if she has stolen the
Colour of her Ribbands from  another, or had Advice
about her Trimmings, I shall not allow her the Praise
of Dress, any more than I would call a Plagiary an
Author'   When I threw    my Eye towards the next
Woman to her, WILL spoke what I looked, according to
his Romantick Imagination, in the following Manner,
'Behold, you who dare, that charming Virgin, Behold
the Beauty of her Person chastised by the Innocence of
her Thoughts, Chastity, Good-Nature, and Affability, are
the Graces that play in her Countenance she knows she
is handsome, but she knows she is good, Conscious
Beauty adorned with conscious Virtue   What a Spirit
is there in those Eyes I What a Bloom in that Person I
How is the whole Woman expressed in her Appearance!
Her Air has the Beauty of Motion, and her Look the
Force of Language,'
It was Prudence to turn away my Eyes from this
Object, and therefore I turned them to the thoughtless
Creatures who make up the Lump of that Sex, and
move a knowing Eye no more than the Portraitures of
insignificant People by ordinary Painters, which are
but Pictures of Pictures,
Thus the working of my own Mind is the general
/                       Entertainment




THE SPECTATOR


19


Entertainment of-my Life; I never enter into the Comr  No, 4,
merce of Discourse with any but my particular Friends, Monday,
and not in Publick even with them, Such an Habit has Mach 5,
perhaps raised in me uncommon Reflections; but this
Effect I cannot communicate but by my Writings, As
my Pleasures are almost wholly confined to those of the Ii
Siht, I take it for a peculiar Happiness that I havefl$'"
always had an easie and familiar Admittance to the fair
Sex,  If I never praised or flatter'd, I never belyed or /
contradicted them, As these compose half the World, and
are by the just Complaisance and Gallantry of our Nation
the more powerful Part of our People, I shall dedicate a
considerable Share of these my Speculations to their
Service, and shall lead the Young through all the becoming
Duties of Virginity, Marriage, and Widowhood, When
it is a Woman's Day, in my Works, I shall endeavour at
a Stile and Air suitable to their Understanding, When I
say this, I must be understood to mean, that I shall not
lower but exalt the Subjects I treat upon, Discourse for
their Entertainment, is not to be debased but refined, A
Man may appear learned, without talking Sentences; as
in his ordinary Gesture he discovers he can Dance, tho'
he does not cut Capers,  In a Word, I shall take it for
the greatest Glory of my Work, if among reasonable
Women this Paper may furnish TeaTable Talk, In
order to it, I shall treat on Matters which relate to Females,
as they are concern'd to approach or fly from the other
Sex, or as they are tyed to them by Blood, Interest, or
Affection, Upon this Occasion I think it but reasonable
to declare, that whatever Skill I may have in Speculation,
I shall never betray what the Eyes of Lovers say to each
other in my Presence,  At the same Time I shall not
think myself obliged, by this Promise, to conceal any false
Protestations which I observe made by Glances in publick
Assemblies but endeavour to make both Sexes appear in
their Conduct what they are in their Hearts, By this
means Love, during the Time of my Speculations, shall be
carried on with the same Sincerity as any other Affair of
Vless Consideration, As this is the greatest Concern, Men
shall be from henceforth liable to the greatest Reproach
for Misbehaviour in it, Falshood in Love shall hereafter
bear




20


THE SPECTATOR


I No, 4,  bear a blacker Aspect, than Infidelity in Friendship, or
Monday, Villany in Business,   For this great and good End, all
Match, Breaches against that noble Passion, the Cement of
Society, shall be severely examined,  But this, and all
other Matters loosely hinted at now, and in my former
IPapers, shall have their proper Place in my following
Discourses: The present Writing is only to admonish
the World, that they shall not find me an idle but a very
busie Spectator,                                  R
No, 5,
[ADDISON,]                                 Tuesday, March 6,
Spectatum admissi risum teneatis?-Hor,
A  N Opera may be allowed to be extravagantly lavish
It   in its Decorations, as its only Design is to gratifie
the Senses, and keep up an indolent Attention in the
Audience, Common Sense however requires, that there
should be nothing in the Scenes and Machines which
may appear Childish and Absurd, How would the Wits
of King Charles's Time have laughed, to have seen
Nicolini exposed to a Tempest in Robes of Ermin, and
Isailing in an open Boat upon a Sea of PasteBoard?
What a Field of Raillery would they have been let into,
had they been entertain'd with painted Dragons spit,
ting Wildfire, enchanted Chariots drawn by Flanders
Mares, and real Cascades in artificial Landskips?  A
little Skill in Criticism would inform us, that Shadows and
Realities ought not to be mix'd together in the same
J IPiece; and that Scenes, which are designed as the Repre,
j sentations of Nature, should be filled with Resemblances,
and not with the Things themselves,   If one would
represefit a wide Champian Country filled with Herds
and Flocks, it would be ridiculous to draw the Country
|        only upon the Scenes, and to crowd several Parts of the
Stage with Sheep and Oxen, This is joining together
Ii Inconsistencies, and making the Decoration partly Real
and partly Imaginary, I would recommend what I have
/here said, to the Directors, as well as to the Admirers, of
our Modern Opera,
As I was walking in the Streets about a Fortnight ago,




THE SPECTATOR


21


I saw an ordinary Fellow carrying a Cage full of little No, 5
Birds upon his Shoulder; and, as I was wondering with Tuesday,
my self what Use he would put them to, he was met very March,
luckily by an Acquaintance, who had the same Curiosity, 1
Upon his asking him what he had upon his Shoulder, he
told him, that he had been buying Sparrows for the
Opera, Sparrows for the Opera, says his Friend, licking
his lips, what, are they to be roasted  No, no, says the
other, they are to enter towards the end of the first Act,
and to fly about the Stage,
This strange Dialogue awakened my Curiosity so far,
that I immediately bought the Opera, by which means I
perceived that the Sparrows were to act the part of Sing
ing Birds in a delightful Grove: though upon a nearer
Enquiry I found the Sparrows put the same Trick
upon the Audience, that Sir Martin Marall practised
upon his Mistress; for, though they flew in Sight, the
Musick proceeded from a Consort of Flagellets and Bird,
calls which was planted behind the Scenes, At the same
time I made this Discovery, I found by the Discourse of
the Actors, that there were great Designs on foot for the
Improvement of the Opera; that it had been proposed to
break down a part of the Wall, and to surprize the
Audience with a Party of an hundred Horse, and that
there was actually a Project of bringing the NewRiver
into the House, to be employed in Jetteaus and Watero
works, This Project, as I have since heard, is postponed
'till the SummerSeason; when it is thought the Coolness
r that proceeds from Fountains and Cascades will be more
acceptable and refreshing to People of Quality, In the
mean time, to find out a more agreeable Entertainment
for the WinterSeason, the Opera of Rinaldo is filled
with Thunder and Lightning, Illuminations and Fire,
works; which the Audience may look upon without
catching Cold, and indeed without much Danger of being
burnt; for there are several Engines filled with Water,
and ready to play at a Minute's warning, in case any
such Accident should happen,  However, as I have a
very great Friendship for the Owner of this Theater, I
hope that he has been wise enough to insure his
House before he would let this Opera be acted in it,
It        I




22


THE SPECTATOR


No, 5,    It is no wonder, that those Scenes should be very
Tuesday, surprizing, which were contrived by two Poets of different
March 6, Nations, and raised by two Magicians of different Sexes.
Armida (as we are told in the Argument) was an
Amazonian    Enchantress, and poor Signior Cassani
(as we learn from the Persons represented) a Christian,
Conjurer (Mago Christiano), I must confess I am very
much puzzled to find how an Amazon should be versed
in the Black Art, or how   a good Christian, for such
is the Part of the Magician, should deal with the Devil,
To consider the Poets after the Conjurers, I shall give
you a Taste of the Italian, from the first Lines of his
Preface, Eccoti, benigno Lettore, un Parto di poche
Sere, che se ben nato di Notte, non e pero aborto di
Tenebre, ma si fara conoscere Figlio d' Apollo con
qualche Raggio di Parnasso, Behold, gentle Reader,
the Birth of a few Evenings, which, tho' it be the
Offspring of the Night, is not the Abortive of Dark,
ness, but will make it self known to be the Son of
Apollo, with a certain Ray of Parnassus, He afterwards
proceeds to call Minheer Hendel the Orpheus of our
Age, and to acquaint us, in the same Sublimity of Stile,
that he Composed this Opera in a Fortnight, Such are
the Wits, to whose Tastes we so ambitiously conform
our selves,  The Truth of it is, the finest Writers
among the Modern Italians express themselves in such
a florid Form  of Words, and such tedious Circumlocuw
tions, as are used by none but Pedants in our own
Country; and at the same time fill their Writings with
such poor Imaginations and Conceits, as our Youths are
ashamed of before they have been two Years at the
University, Some may be apt to think, that it is- the
difference of Genius which produces this difference in
the Works of the two Nations; but to shew   there is
nothing in this, if we look into the Writings of the old
Italians, such as Cicero and Virgil, we shall find that the
English Writers, in their way of thinking and expressing
themselves, resemble those Authors much more than
the Modern Italians pretend to do,   And as for the
Poet himself, from whom the Dreams of this Opera
are taken, I must entirely agree with Monsieur Boileau,
that




THE SPECTATOR


23


that one verse in Virgil is worth all the Clincant or No. 5,
Tinsel of Tasso,                                    Tuesday,
But to return to the Sparrows; there have been so Marh 6,
1711,
many Flights of them let loose in this Opera, that it
is feared the House will never get rid of them; and that
in other Plays they may make their Entrance in very
wrong and improper Scenes, so as to be seen flying
in a Lady's Bed-Chamber, or pearching upon a King's
Throne; besides the Inconveniencies which the Heads
of the Audience may sometimes suffer from them, I
am credibly informed, that there was once a Design of
casting into an Opera the Story of Whittington and his
Cat, and that in order to it there had been got together
a great Quantity of Mice; but Mr, Rich, the Proprietor
of the PlayHouse, very prudently considered that it
would be impossible for the Cat to kill them  all, and
that consequently the Princes of his Stage might be as
much infested with Mice, as the Prince of the Island was
before the Cat's Arrival dpon it; for which Reason he
would not permit it to be Acted in his House, And
indeed I cannot blame him; for, as he said very well
upon that Occasion, I do not hear that any of the Per,
formers in our Opera pretend to equal the famous Pied
Piper, who made all the Mice of a great Town in
Germany follow his Musick, and by that means cleared
the Place of those little Noxious Animals,
Before I dismiss this Paper, I must inform my Reader,
that I hear there is a Treaty on foot with London and
Wise (who will be appointed Gardeners of the Plays
House) to furnish the Opera of Rinaldo and Armida
with an Orange Grove; and that the next time it is
Acted, the Singing Birds will be Personated by TomTits; The Undertakers being resolved to spare neither
Pains nor Mony, for the Gratification of the Audience,
C


Wednesday




24


THE SPECTATOR:'No 6    No. 66.
No, 6.
Wednes-o
g day,   [STEELE.]                         Wednesday, March 7.
Martch 7,       Credebant hoc grande nefas d morte piandum,
Si juvenis vetulo non assurrexerat —.-Juv,
KNOW no Evil under the Sun so great as the Abuse
I   of the Understanding, and yet there is no one Vice
more common, It has diffus'd it self through both Sexes
and all Qualities of Mankind; and there is hardly that
Person to be found, who is not more concern'd for the
Reputation of Wit and Sense, than Honesty and Virtue,
But this unhappy Affectation of being Wise rather than
Honest, Witty than Good-natur'd, is the Source of most
of the ill Habits of Life, Such false Impressions are
owing to the abandon'd Writings of Men of Wit, and
the awkard Imitation of the rest of Mankind,
For this Reason, Sir ROGER was saying last Night,
That he was of Opinion none but Men of fine Parts
deserve to be hanged.  The Reflections of such Men
are so delicate upon all Occurrences which they are
concerned in, that they should be exposed to more than
ordinary Infamy and Punishment, for offending against
|      such quick Admonitions as their own Souls give them,
Iand blunting the fine Edge of their Minds in such a
I Manner, that they are no more shocked at Vice and
Folly, than Men of slower Capacities,  There is no
greater Monster in Being, than a very ill Man of great
Partss He lives like a Man in a Palsy, with one Side
of him dead. While perhaps he enjoys the Satisfaction
of Luxury, of Wealth, of Ambition, he has lost the Taste
of Goodwill, of Friendship, of Innocence, Scarecrow,
the Beggar in Lincoln's-Inn-Fields, who disabled him,
self in his Right Leg, and asks Alms all Day to get
himself a warm Supper and a Trull at Night, is not half
II        so despicable a Wretch as such a Man of Sense, The
Beggar has no Relish above Sensations; he finds Rest
more agreeable than Motion; and while he has a warm
|      Fire and his Doxy, never reflects that he deserves to
I         be whipped, Every Man who terminates his Satisfactions
and Enjoyments within the Supply of his own Necessities
j    and Passions, is, says Sir ROGER, in my Eye as poor a
iI                                        Rogue




THE SPECTATOR


25


Rogue as Scarecrow, But, continued he, for the Loss of No. 6.,
publick and private Virtue we are beholden to your Wednes,
Men of Parts forsooth; it is with them no matter what day,
March 7,
is done, so it is done with an Air, But to me, who am 1711
so whimsical in a corrupt Age as to act according to
Nature and Reason, a selfish Man, in the most shining
Circumstance and Equipage, appears in the same Condi,
tion with the Fellow above-mentioned, but more con,
temptible, in Proportion to what more he robs the Publick
of and enjoys above him, I lay it down therefore for
a Rule, That the whole Man is to move together; that
every Action of any Importance is to have a Prospect i
of publick Good; and that the general Tendency of our
indifferent Actions ought to be agreeable to the Dictates
of Reason, of Religion, of good Breeding; without this,
a Man, as I before have hinted, is hopping instead of
walking, he is not in his intire and proper Motion,
While the honest Knight was thus bewildering him,
self in good Starts, I look'd intentively upon him, which
made him, I thought, collect his Mind a little, What I
aim at, says he, is to represent, That I am of Opinion,
to polish our Understandings and neglect our Manners
is of all things the most inexcusable,  Reason should
govern Passion, but instead of that, you see, it is often
subservient to it; and as unaccountable as one would
think it, a wise Man is not always a good Man, This
Degeneracy is not only the Guilt of particular Persons,
but also at some times of a whole People; and perhaps
it may appear upon Examination, that the most polite
Ages are the least virtuous, This may be attributed to
the Folly of admitting Wit and Learning as Merit in
themselves, without considering the Application of them,
By this Means it becomes a Rule, not so much to regard
what we do, as how we do it, But this false Beauty
will not pass upon Men of honest Minds and true Taste s
Sir Richard Blackmore says, with as much good Sense
as Virtue, It is a mighty Dishonour and Shame to
employ excellent Faculties and abundance of Wit, to
humour and please Men in their Vices and Follies,
The great Enemy of Mankind, notwithstanding his
Wit and Angelick Faculties, is the most odious Being
in




i        26            THE SPECTATOR
IjNo. 6.  in the whole Creation, He goes on soon after to say
HIWednes- very generously, That he undertook the writing of
daych 7 his Poem to rescue the Muses out of the Hands
IMarch 7,
t11711   of Ravishers, to restore them  to their sweet and
chaste Mansions, and to engage them in an Employs
ment suitable to their Dignity, This certainly ought
to be the Purpose of every Man who appears in
Publick; and whoever does not proceed upon that
Foundation, injures his Country as fast as he suc,
ceeds in his Studies, When Modesty ceases to be the
chief Ornament of one Sex, and Integrity of the other,
| Society is upon a wrong Basis, and we shall be ever
after without Rules to guide our Judgment in what is
really becoming and ornamental, Nature and Reason
direct one thing, Passion and Humour anothers To
follow the Dictates of the two latter, is going into a
Road that is both endless and intricate; when we purt
sue the other, our Passage is delightful, and what we
|        aim at easily attainable,
I do not doubt but England is at present as polite a
Nation as any in the World; but any Man who thinks
can easily see, that the Affectation of being Gay and
in Fashion has very near eaten up our good Sense and
our Religion, Is there anything so just, as that Mode
and Gallantry should be built upon exerting our selves
in what is proper and agreeable to the Institutions of
Justice and Piety among us?   And yet is there any
thing more common, than that we run in perfect Conttradiction to them? All which is supported by no other
i  Pretension, than that it is done with what we call a
I       good Grace,
i   Nothing ought to be held laudable or becoming, but
what Nature it self should prompt us to think so,
Respect to all kind of Superiors is founded, methinks,
upon Instinct; and yet what is so ridiculous as Age?
I make this abrupt Transition to the Mention of this
Vice more than any other, in order to introduce a little
Story, which I think a pretty Instance that the most
j I polite Age is in danger of being the most vicious,
'It happen'd at Athens, during a publick Representation of some Play exhibited in honour of the Commons
E                                       wealth




THE SPECTATOR


27


wealth, that an old Gentleman came too late for a No, 6.
Place suitable to his Age and Quality, Many of the Wednes
young Gentlemen who observed the Difficulty and day'?
March 7,
Confusion he was in, made Signs to him that they 1711.
would accommodate him if he came where they sate,
The good Man bustled through the Crowd accordingly;
but when he came to the Seats to which he was in,
vited, the Jest was to sit close, and expose him, as he
stood out of Countenance, to the whole Audience, The
Frolick went round all the Athenian Benches,   But
on those Occasions there were also particular Places
assigned for Foreigners% When the good Man skulked
towards the Boxes appointed for the Lacedemonians, that
honest People, more virtuous than polite, rose up all to
a Man, and with the greatest Respect received him
among them,   The Athenians being suddenly touch'd
with a Sense of the Spartan Virtue and their own
Degeneracy, gave a Thunder of Applause; and the \
old Man cried out, The Athenians understand what is 1i
good, but the Lacedemonians practise it,'        R
No, 7,
[ADDISON,]                       Thursday, March 8,
Somnia, terrores magicos, miracula, sagas,
Nocturnos lemures, portentaque Thessala rides?-Hor.
G   OING Yesterday to Dine with an old Acquaintance,
I had the Misfortune to find his whole Family very
much dejected, Upon asking him the Occasion of it, he
told me that his Wife had dreamt a very strange Dream
the Night before, which they were afraid portended
some Misfortune to themselves or to their Children,
At her coming into the Room    I observed a settled
Melancholy in her Countenance, which I should have
been troubled for, had I not heard from whence it
proceeded, We were no sooner sate down, but, after
having looked upon me a little while, My Dear, says
she, turning to her Husband, you may now see the
Stranger that was in the Candle last Night, Soon after
this, as they began to talk of Family Affairs, a little
Boy at the lower end of the Table told her, that he
was




28


THE SPECTATOR


NSJo 7~  was to go into Joinehand on Thursday, Thursday? says
|rhursday, she, No, Child, if it please God, you shall not begin
tarch 8, upon Childermasday; tell your WritingMaster that.71L
Friday will be soon enough,   I was Reflecting with
my self on the Oddness of her Fancy, and wondering
that any Body would establish it as a Rule to lose a
Day in every Week,       In the midst of these my
Musings she desired me to reach her a little Salt
upon the Point of my Knife, which I did in such a
Trepidation and Hurry of Obedience, that I let it drop
'I0      by the Way; at which she immediately startled, and
said it fell towards her,  Upon this I looked very
blank;       and, observing the Concern of the whole
Table, began to consider my self, with some Confusion, as a      Person that had brought a Disaster
upon the Family, The Lady however recovering her
self after a little space, said to her Husband with a
Sigh, My Dear, Misfortunes never come Single,
My Friend, I found, acted but an under Part at his
||       Table, and being a Man of more Goodnature than
Understanding, thinks himself obliged to fall in with
all the Passions and Humours of his YokeFellows
Do not you remember, Child, says she, that the
SPidgeon-house fell the very Afternoon that our careless Wench spilt the Salt upon the Table           Yes,
says he, My Dear, and the next Post brought us:    an Account of the Battel of Almanza,   The Reader
may guess at the figure I made, after having done
all this Mischief, I dispatched my Dinner as soon as
I could, with my usual Taciturnity; when, to my
utter Confusion, the Lady seeing me quitting my
Knife  and   Fork, and   laying  them  across  one
another upon my Plate, desired me that I would
|      humour her so far as to take them out of that Figure,
and place them side by side, What the Absurdity was
which I had committed I did not know, but I suppose
there was some traditionary Superstition in it; and
AI       therefore, in obedience to the Lady of the House, I
disposed of my Knife and Fork in two parallel Lines,
I        which is the figure I shall always lay them  in for
ithe future, tho' I do not know any Reason for it,
It
1i f3i




THE SPECTATOR


29


It is not difficult for a Man to see that a Person has No. 7.
conceived an Aversion to him, For my own part, I Thursday
quickly found, by the Lady's Looks, that she regarded M71ch 8,
me as a very odd kind of Fellow, with an unfortunate
Aspect s For which Reason I took my leave immediately
after Dinner, and withdrew to my own Lodgings, Upon
my Return Home, I fell into a profound Contemplation
on the Evils that attend these superstitious Follies of
Mankind; how they subject us to imaginary Afflictions,
and additional Sorrows, that do not properly come with,
in our Lot, As if the natural Calamities of Life were
not sufficient for it, we turn the most indifferent Cir,
cumstances into Misfortunes, and suffer as much from
trifling Accidents, as from real Evils, I have known
the shooting of a Star spoil a Night's Rest; and have
seen a Man in Love grow pale and lose his Appetite,
upon the plucking of a Merry thought, A ScreechOwl
at Midnight has alarm'd a Family, more than a Band
of Robbers; nay, the Voice of a Cricket hath struck
more Terror than the Roaring of a Lion, There is
nothing so inconsiderable, which may not appear dreads
ful to- an Imagination that is filled with Omens and
Prognosticks,  A rusty Nail, or a crooked Pin, shoot
up into Prodigies,
I remember I was once in a mixt Assembly, that
was full of Noise and Mirth, when on a sudden an
old Woman unluckily observed there were thirteen of
us in Company, This Remark struck a pannick Terror
into several who were present, insomuch that one or
two of the Ladies were going to leave the Room; but
a Friend of mine taking notice that one of our Female
Companions was big with Child, affirm'd there were
fourteen in the Room, and that instead of portending
one of the Company should die, it plainly foretold one
of them should be born, Had not my Friend found out
this Expedient to break the Omen, I question not but
half the Women in the Company would have fallen
sick that very Night
An old Maid, that is troubled with the Vapours,
produces infinite Disturbances of this kind among her
Friends and Neighbours, I know a Maiden. Aunt, of
i                                      a




30


THE SPECTATOR


INo, 7,  a great Family, who is one of these Antiquated Sybils,
tThursday that forbodes and prophesies from one end of the Year,rch     to the other, She is always seeing Apparitions, and
|jif     hearing DeathWatches and was the other Day almost
frighted out of her Wits by the great HouseDog, that
howled in the Stable at a time when she lay ill of the
Toothach, Such an extravagant Cast of Mind engages
Multitudes of People, not only in impertinent Terrors,
but in supernumerary Duties of Life; and arises from
that Fear and Ignorance which are natural to the Soul
of Man, The Horror with which we entertain the
Thoughts of Death (or indeed of any future Evil) and
S    the Uncertainty of its Approach, fill a melancholy
Mind with innumerable Apprehensions and Suspicions,
and consequently dispose it to the Observation of such
groundless Prodigies and Predictions, For as it is the
|     I 1 chief Concern of WiseMen, to retrench the Evils of
Life by the Reasonings of Philosophy; it is the Employ,
ment of Fools, to multiply them by the Sentiments
of Superstition,
|       For my own part, I should be very much troubled
were I endowed with this Divining Quality, though
it should inform me truly of every thing that can
befal me, I would not anticipate the Relish of any
Happiness, nor feel the Weight of any Misery, before
it actually arrives,
I know but one way of fortifying my Soul against
Ithese gloomy Presages and Terrors of Mind, and
|        that is, by securing to my self the Friendship and
Protection of that Being, who disposes of Events, and:    governs Futurity, He sees, at one View, the whole
Thread of my Existence, not only that Part of it which
I have already passed through, but that which runs
forward into all the Depths of Eternity, When I lay
I    me down to Sleep, I recommend my self to his Care;
I    when I awake, I give my self up to his Direction,
Amidst all the Evils that threaten me, I will look up
to him for Help, and question not but he will either
avert them, or turn them to my Advantage, Though
I know   neither the Time nor the Manner of te
Death I am to die, I am not at all sollicitous about it;
because




THE SPECTATOR


31


because I am sure that he knows them both, and No. 7.
that he will not fail to comfort and support me under Thursday,
them.                                              C March 8,
1711,
No, 8,
[ADDISON,]                            Friday, March 9,
At Venus obscuro gradientis acre sepsit,
Et multo nebulae circum dea fudit amictu,
Cernere ne quis eos —,-Virg,
SHALL here communicate to the World a couple of
Letters, which I believe will give the Reader as good
an Entertainment as any that I am able to furnish
him with, and therefore shall make no Apology for
them,
'To the SPECTATOR, &C,
Sir,
I am one of the Directors of the Society for the
Reformation of Manners, and therefore think my self
a proper Person for your Correspondence,      I have
thoroughly examined the present State of Religion in
Great Britain, and am able to acquaint you with the
predominant Vice of every Market-Town in the
whole Island,    I can tell you    the Progress that
Virtue has made in     all our Cities, Boroughs, and
Corporations;  and know   as well the evil Practices
that are committed in Berwick or Exeter, as what is
done in my own Family.        In a word, Sir, I have
my Correspondents in     the  remotest Parts of the
Nation, who send me up punctual Accounts from
time to time of all the little Irregularities that fall
under their Notice in their several Districts and
Divisions,
I am  no less acquainted with the particular Quarters
and Regions of this great Town, than with the different
Parts and Distributions of the whole Nation,   I can
describe every Parish by its Impieties, and can tell
you in which of our Streets Lewdness prevails, which
Gaming has taken the Possession of, and where Drunk,
enness has got the better of them both, When I am
disposed to raise a Fine for the Poor, I know the
Lanes




32


THE SPECTATOR


Lanes and   Allies that are inhabited by common
Swearers,   When I would encourage the Hospital
of Bridewell, and improve the Hempen Manufacture,
I am very well acquainted with all the Haunts and
Resorts of Female Nightwalkers,
After this short Account of my self, I must let
you know, that the Design of this Paper is to give
you Information of a certain irregular Assembly
which I think falls very properly under your Observa,
tion, especially since the Persons it is composed of
are Criminals too considerable for the Animadversions
of our Society,  I mean, Sir, the Midnight Masque,
which has of late been very frequently held in one of
the most conspicuous Parts of the Town, and which
I hear will be continued with Additions and Improve/
ments, As all the Persons who compose this lawless
Assembly are masqued, we dare not attack any of
them in our Way, lest we should send a Woman
of Quality to Bridewell, or a Peer of Great-Britain
to the Counter. Besides that, their Numbers are
so very great, that I am afraid they would be able
to rout our whole Fraternity, though we were accompanied with all our Guard of Constables.  Both these
Reasons, which secure them from our Authority, make
them  obnoxious to yours; As both their Disguise and
their Numbers will give no particular Person Reason
to think himself affronted by you,
If we are rightly informed, the Rules that are
observed by this new Society are wonderfully contrived
for the Advancement of C(uckoldom,     The Women
either come by themselves or are introduced by
Friends, who are obliged to quit them, upon their first
Entrance, to the Conversation of any Body that addresses
himself to them,   There are several Rooms where
the Parties may retire, and, if they please, shew their
Faces by Consent,    Whispers, Squeezes, Nods, and
Embraces, are the innocent Freedoms of the Place,
In short, the whole Design of this libidinous Assembly
seems to terminate in   Assignations and Intrigues;
and I hope you will take effectual Methods, by your
publick Advice and Admonitions, to prevent such a
promiscuous




THE SPECTATOR                      33
promiscuous Multitude of both Sexes from meeting No, 8,
together in so clandestine a Manner, I am            Friday
March 9,
Your humble Servant,              1711
And Fellow-Labourer,
T, B1'
Not long after the Perusal of this Letter, I receiv'd
another upon the same Subject; which by the Date
and Stile of it, I take to be written by some young
Templer,
'Sir,                       MiddleTemple, 171~
When a Man has been guilty of any Vice or Folly,
I think the best Attonement he can make for it, is to
warn others not to fall into the like,  In order to this
I must acquaint you, that some time in February
last I went to the Tuesday's Masquerade, Upon my
first going in I was attack'd by half a Dozen female
Quakers, who seem'd willing to adopt me for a
Brother; but upon a nearer Examination I found
they were a Sisterhood of Coquets disguised in that
precise Habit,  I was soon after taken out to dance,
and, as I fancied, by a Woman of the first Quality,
for she was very tall, and moved gracefully, As soon
as the Minuet was over, we ogled one another through
our Masques; and as I am very well read in Waller,
I repeated to her the four following Verses out of his
poem to Vandike,
The heedless Lover does not know
Whose Eyes they are that wound him sot
But, confounded with thy Art,
Enquires her Name that has his Heart,
I pronounced these Words with such a languishing
Air, that I had some Reason to conclude I had made
a Conquest, She told me that she hoped my Face
was not akin to my Tongue; and looking upon her
Watch, I accidentally discovered the Figure of a Coronet
on the back Part of it,  I was so transported with the
Thought of such an Amour, that I plied her from one
Room to another with all the Gallantries I could invent;
c                       and




34


THE SPECTATOR


No, 8,   and at length brought things to so happy an Issue, that
Friday,  she gave me a private Meeting the next Day, without
March 9 Page or Footman, Coach or Equipage, My Heart danced
in Raptures; but I had not lived in this golden Dream
above three Days, before I found good Reason to wish
that I had continued true to my Laundress. I have since
heard, by a very great Accident, that this fine Lady does
not live far from Covent-Garden, and that I am not the
first Cully whom she has pass'd her self upon for a
Countess,
Thus, Sir, you see how I have mistaken a Cloud for a
Juno; and if you can make any use of this Adventure,
for the Benefit of those who may possibly be as vain
young Coxcombs as my self, I do most heartily give
you Leave, I am, Sir,
Your most humble Admirer,
B, L'
I design to visit the next Masquerade my self, in the
same Habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and 'till then shall
suspend my Judgment of this Midnight Entertainment,
C
No, 9,
[ADDISON,]                         Saturday, March 10,
— Tigris agil rablda cum tigride pacem
Perpetuam  saevis inter se coavenit ursis,-Juv,
M    AN is said to be a Sociable Animal, and, as an Instance
of it, we may observe, that we take all Occasions and
Pretences of forming our selves into those little Nocturnal
Assemblies, which are commonly known by the name
of Clubs, When a Sett of Men find themselves agree in
any Particular, tho' never so trivial, they establish themselves into a kind of Fraternity, and meet once or twice
a Week, upon the account of such a Fantastick Resemn
blance, I know a considerable Market-town, in which
there was a Club of fat Men, that did not come together
(as you may well suppose) to entertain one another with
Sprightliness and Wit, but to keep one another in Coun,
tenances The Room where the Club met was some,
thing




THE SPECTATOR


35


thing of the largest, and had two Entrances, the one by No, 9,
a Door of a moderate Size, and the other by a Pair of Saturday,
Foldingdoors,  If a Candidate for this Corpulent Club March f0,
could make his Entrance through the first, he was looked
upon as unqualified; but if he stuck in the Passage, and
could not force his Way through it, the FoldingDoors
were immediately thrown open for his Reception, and
he was saluted as a Brother, I have heard that this Club,
though it consisted but of fifteen Persons, weighed above
three Tun,
In Opposition to this Society, there sprung up another
composed of Scarecrows and Skeletons, who being very
meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the
Designs of their Bulky Brethren, whom they represented
as Men of Dangerous Principles; till at length they
worked them out of the Favour of the People, and consequently out of the Magistracy, These Factions tore
the Corporation in Pieces for several Years, till at
length they came to this Accommodation; that the two
Bailiffs of the Town should be annually chosen out of
the two Clubs, bv which means the principal Magis,
trates are at this Day coupled like Rabbets, one fat and
one lean,
Every one has heard of the Club, or rather the Con,
federacy, of the Kings, This grand Alliance was formed
a little after the Return of King Charles the Second, and
admitted into it Men of all Qualities and Professions,
provided they agreed in this Sirname of King, which,
as they imagined, sufficiently declared the Owners of it
to be altogether untainted with Republican and Anti,
Monarchical Principles,
A Christian Name has likewise been often used as a
Badge of Distinction, and made the Occasion of a Club,
That of the Georges, which used to meet at the Sign of
the George, on St George's Day, and swear Before
George, is still fresh in every one's Memory,
There are at present in several Parts of this City what
they call StreetClubs, in which the chief Inhabitants of
the Street converse together every Night, I remember,
upon my enquiring after Lodgings in  rmond-Street, the
Landlord, to recommend that Quarter of the Town, told
me




36


THE SPECTATOR!No, 9.  me, there was at that time a very good Club in it; he
Saturday1 also told me, upon further Discourse with him, that two
March l, or three noisie Country Squires, who were settled there
the Year before, had considerably sunk the Price of
HouseRent; and that the Club (to prevent the like
Inconveniences for the future) had Thoughts of taking
every House that became vacant into their own Hands,
till they had found a Tenant for it, of a sociable Nature
and good Conversation,
The Hum-Drum Club, of which I was formerly an
unworthy Member, was made up of very honest Gentle,
men, of peaceable Dispositions, that used to sit together,
smoak their Pipes, and say nothing till Midnight, The
Mum Club (as I am informed) is an Institution of the! same Nature, and as great an Enemy to Noise,
After these two innocent Societies, I cannot forbear
mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected
in the Reign of King Charles the Second I mean the
Club of Duellists, in which none was to be admitted
that had not fought his Man, The President of it was
said to have killed half a dozen in single Combat; and
as for the other Members, they took their Seats according to the Number of their Slain, There was likewise
a SideTable, for such as had only drawn Blood, and
shewn a laudable Ambition of taking the first Opportunity to qualifie themselves for the first Table0 This
Club, consisting only of Men of Honour, did not continue
long, most of the Members of it being put to the Sword,
or hanged, a little after its Institution0
Our Modern celebrated Clubs are founded upon Eating
and Drinking, which are Points wherein most Men
agree, and in which the Learned and Illiterate, the Dull
and the Airy, the Philosopher and the Buffoon, can all of
them bear a Part, The Kit-Cat it self is said to have
taken its Original from a MuttonPye, The Beef-Steak,
and October Clubs, are neither of them averse to Eating
and Drinking, if we may form a Judgment of them from
their respective Titles,
When Men are thus knit together, by a Love of Society,
not a Spirit of Faction, and don't meet to censure or
annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another;
When




THE SPECTATOR


37


When they are thus combined for their own Improves No, 9,
ment, or for the Good of others, or at least to relax Saturday,
themselves from the Business of the Day, by an innocent arch 1
and chearful Conversation, there may be something
very useful in these little Institutions and Establishments,
I cannot forbear concluding this Paper with a Scheme of
Laws that I met with upon a Wall in a little Alehouse:
How I came thither I may inform my Reader at a more
convenient time, These Laws were enacted by a Knot
of Artizans and Mechanicks, who used to meet every
Night; and as there is something in them which gives
us a pretty Picture of low Life, I shall transcribe them
Word for Word,
Rules to be observed in the Two-penny Club, erected
in this Place, for the Preservation of Friendship
and good Neighbourhood.
I Every Member at his first coming in shall lay down
his Two-Pence,
II Every Member shall fill his Pipe out of his own
Box,
IIL If any Member absents himself he shall forfeit a
Penny for the Use of the Club, unless in case of Sickness
or Imprisonment
IV, If any Member swears or curses, his Neighbour
may give him a Kick upon the Shins,
V, If any Member tells Stories in the Club that are
not true, he shall forfeit for every third Lie an Half,
penny,
VI, If any Member strikes another wrongfully, he
shall pay his Club for him,
VII, If any Member brings his Wife into the Club, he
shall pav for whatever she drinks or smoaks,
VIII, If any Member's Wife comes to fetch him home
from the Club, she shall speak to him without the Door,
IX, If any Member calls another Cuckold, he shall be
turned out of the Club,
X, None shall be admitted into the Club that is of the
same Trade with any Member of it,
XL None of the Club shall have his Cloaths or Shoes
made or mended, but by a BrotherMember,
XIL




38             THE SPECTATOR
No, 9,    XIL No Non.juror shall be capable of being a Member,
Saturday,  The Morality of this little Club is guarded by such
March 10,
1711,   wholesome Laws and Penalties, that I question not but
my Reader will be as well pleased with them, as he
would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben,
Johnson, the Regulations of an old Roman Club cited by
Lipsius, or the Rules of a Symposium in an ancient
Greek Author,                                     C
No, 10,
[ADDISON,]                         Monday, March 12,
Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum
Remigiis subigit, si bracchia forte remisit,
Aique ilium praeceps prono rapit alveus amni.-Virg
T is with much Satisfaction that I hear this great
City inquiring Day by Day after these my Papers,
and receiving my Morning Lectures with a becoming
Seriousness and Attention,  My Publisher tells me,
that there are already Three thousand of them distributed every Day, So that if I allow Twenty Readers to
every Paper, which I look upon as a modest Computa,
tion, I may reckon about Threescore thousand Disciples
in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care
to distinguish themselves from the thoughtless Herd of
their ignorant and unattentive Brethren, Since I have
raised to myself so great an Audience, I shall spare no
Pains to make their Instruction agreeable, and their
Diversion useful, For which Reasons I shall endeavour
to enliven Morality with Wit, and to temper Wit with
Morality, that my Readers may, if possible, both Ways
find their Account in the Speculation of the Day, And
to the End that their Virtue and Discretion may not be
short transient intermittent Starts of Thought, I have
resolved to refresh their Memories from Day to Day,
till I have recovered them out of that desperate State of
Vice and Folly into which the Age is fallen,    The
Mind that lies fallow but a single Day, sprouts up in.
Follies that are only to be killed by a constant and
assiduous Culture,  It was said of Socrates, that he
brought Philosophy  down from    Heaven, to inhabit
among




I


THE SPECTATOR


39


among Men; and I shall be ambitious to have it said No, 10.
of me, that I have brought Philosophy out of Closets Monda
and Libraries, Schools and Colleges, to dwell in Clubs March 12
and Assemblies, at TeaTables and in Coffee-Houses,
I would therefore in a very particular Manner recom,
mend these my Speculations to all well regulated Families,
that set apart an Hour in every Morning for Tea and
Bread and Butter; and would earnestly advise them for
their Good to order this Paper to be punctually served up,
and to be looked upon as a Part of the Tea Equipage,
Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well-written Book,
compared with its Rivals and Antagonists, is like Moses's
Serpent, that immediately swallow'd up and devoured
those of the /Egyptians, I shall not be so vain as to
think, that where the SPECTATOR appears, the other publick
Prints will vanish; but shall leave it to my Reader's
Consideration, whether, Is it not much better to be let
into the Knowledge of ones self, than to hear what
passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse our4 selves
with such Writings as tend to the wearing out of Ignore
ance, Passion, and Prejudice, than such as naturally conduce
to inflame Hatreds, and make Enmities irreconcileable I
In the next Place, I would recommend this Paper to
the daily Perusal of those Gentlemen whom I cannot
but consider as my good Brothers and Allies, I mean
the Fraternity of Spectators who live in the World
without having any thing to do in it; and either by
the Affluence of their Fortunes, or Laziness of their
Dispositions, have no other Business with the rest of
Mankind, but to look upon them, Under this Class of
Men are comprehended all contemplative Tradesmen,
titular Physicians, Fellows of the Royal Society, Templers
that are not given to be contentious, and Statesmen that
are out of Business; in short, every one that considers
the World as a Theatre, and desires to form a right Judge
ment of those who are the Actors on it,
There is another Set of Men that I must likewise lay,
a Claim to, whom I have lately called the Blanks of
Society, as being altogether unfurnished with Ideas, till
the Business and Conversation of the Day has supplied
them   I have often consider'd these poor Souls with an
Eye




40


THE SPECTATOR


No, 10, Eye of great Commiseration, when I have heard them
Monday, asking the first Man they have met with, whether there
March 12, was any News stirring? and by that Means gathering
together Materials for thinking, These needy Persons
do not know what to talk of, 'till about twelve a Clock
in the Morning; for by that Time they are pretty good
Judges of the Weather, know which Way the Wind sits,
and whether the Dutch Mail be come in, As they lie at
the Mercy of the first Man they meet, and are grave or
impertinent all the Day long, according to the Notions
which they have imbibed in the Morning, I would
earnestly entreat them not to stir out of their Chambers
till they have read this Paper, and do promise them that
I will daily instil into them such sound and wholes,
som Sentiments, as shall have a good Effect on their
Conversation for the ensuing twelve Hours,
But there are none to whom this Paper will be more
useful, than to the Female World, I have often thought
there has not been sufficient Pains taken in finding
out proper Employments and Diversions for the Fair
ones, Their Amusements seem contrived for them
rather as they are Women, than as they are reasonable
Creatures; and are more adapted to the Sex than to the
Species, The Toilet is their great Scene of Business,
and the right adjusting of their Hair the principal
Employment of their Lives, The sorting of a Suit of
Ribbons is reckon'd a very good Morning's Work; and
if they make an Excursion to a Mercer's or a Toyshop,
so great a Fatigue makes them unfit for any thing else
all the Day after, Their more serious Occupations are
Sowing and Embroidery, and their greatest Drudgery
the Preparation of Jellies and Sweetmeats, This, I say,
is the State of ordinary Women; tho' I know there are
Multitudes of those of a more elevated Life and Conversation, that move in an exalted Sphere of Knowledge and
Virtue, that join all the Beauties of the Mind to the
Ornaments of Dress, and inspire a kind of Awe and
Respect, as well as Love, into their MaleBeholders, I
hope to encrease the Number of these by Publishing
this daily Paper, which I shall always endeavour to
make an innocent if not an improving Entertainment,
and




THE SPECTATOR


41


and by that Means at least divert the Minds of my No, 10,
Female Readers from greater Trifles, At the same Time, Monday,
as I would fain give some finishing Touches to those  March12,
which are already the most beautiful Pieces in human
Nature, I shall endeavour to    point out all those
Imperfections that are the Blemishes, as well as those
Virtues which are the Embellishments, of the Sex, In
the mean while I hope these my gentle Readers, who
have so much Time on their Hands, will not grudge
throwing away a Quarter of an Hour in a Day on
this Paper, since they may do it without any Hindrance
to Business,
I know several of my Friends and Well-wishers are
in great Pain for me, lest I should not be able to keep
up the Spirit of a Paper which I oblige my self to furnish
every Day, But to make them easie in this Particular,
I will promise them faithfully to give it over as soon
as I grow dull, This I know will be Matter of great
Raillery to the small Wits; who will frequently put
me in mind of my Promise, desire me to keep my
Word, assure me that it is high Time to give over,
with many other little Pleasantries of the like Nature,
which Men of a little smart Genius cannot forbear
throwing out against their best Friends, when they
have such a Handle given them of being witty, But
let them remember that I do hereby enter my Caveat
against this Piece of Raillery,                   C
No, 11,
[STEELE,]                          Tuesday, March 13.
Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas.-Juv.
ARIETTA is visited by all Persons of both Sexes,
who have any Pretence to Wit and Gallantry, She
is in that time of Life which is neither affected with
the Follies of Youth, or Infirmities of Age; and her
Conversation is so mixed with Gi         d    nce,
that she is agreeable both to the Young and the
Her Behaviour is very frank, without being in the
least blameable  and as she is out of the Tract of any
amorous or ambitious Pursuits of her own, her Visit,
ants




42


THE SPECTATOR


No, i,  ants entertain her with Accounts of themselves very
Tuesday freely, whether they concern their Passions or their
March 3, Interests, I made her a Visit this Afternoon, having
been formerly introduced to the Honour of her Ac,
quaintance, by my Friend WILL HoNEYCOM, who has
prevailed upon her to admit me sometimes into her
Assembly, as a civil inoffensive Man,  I found her
accompanied with one Person only, a CommonPlace
Talker, who, upon my Entrance, rose, and after a
very slight Civility sat down again; then turning
to Arietta, pursued his Discourse, which I found was
upon the old Topick of Constancy in Love, He went
on with great Facility in repeating what he talks
every Day of his Life; and, with the Ornaments of
insignificant Laughs and Gestures, enforced his Arguw
ments by Quotations out of Plays and Songs, which
allude to the Perjuries of the Fair, and the general
Levity of Women,     Methought he strove to shine
more than ordinarily in his Talkative Way, that he
might insult my Silence, and distinguish himself before
a Woman of Arietta's Taste and Understanding, She
had often an Inclination to interrupt him, but could
find no Opportunity, till the Larum ceased of it self;
which it did not 'till he had repeated and murdered
the celebrated Story of the Ephesian Matron,
Arietta seemed to regard this Piece of Raillery as
an Outrage done to her Sex; as indeed I have always
observed that Women, whether out of a nicer Regard
to their Honour, or what other Reason I cannot tell,
are more sensibly touched with those general Asper,
sions which are cast upon their Sex, than Men are
by what is said of theirs,
When she had a little recovered her self from the
serious Anger she was in, she replied in the following
manners
Sir, When I consider how perfectly new all you
have said on this Subject is, and that the Story you
have given us is not quite Two thousand Years old,
I cannot but think it a Piece of Presumption to dispute
with you: But your Quotations put me in Mind of the
Fable of the Lion and the Man. The Man walking
with




THE SPECTATOR


43


with that noble Animal, shewed him, in the Ostentation No, 11,
of Human Superiority, a Sign of a Man killing a Lion, Tuesdayv
Upon which the Lion said very justly, We Lions are none 1711rch
of us Painters, else we could shew a hundred Men killed
by Lions, for one Lion killed by a Man, You Men are
Writers, and can represent us Women as Unbecoming as
you please in your Works, while we are unable to return
the Injury, You have twice or thrice observed in your
Discourse, that Hypocrisie is the very Foundation of
our Education. and that an Ability to dissemble our
Affections, is a professed Part of our Breeding, These,
and such other Reflections, are sprinkled up and down
the Writings of all Ages, by Authors, who leave behind
them Memorials of their Resentment against the Scorn
of particular Women, in Invectives against the whole
Sex, Such a Writer, I doubt not, was the celebrated
Pefronius, who invented the pleasant Aggravations of
the Frailty of the Ephesian Lady; but when we con,
sider this Question between the Sexes, which has been
either a Point of Dispute or Raillery ever since there
were Men and Women, let us take Facts from     plain
People, and from  such as have not either Ambition
or Capacity to embellish their Narrations with any
Beauties of Imagination. I was the other Day amusing
my self with Ligon's Account of Barbadoes; and, in
Answer to your wellwrought Tale, I will give you
(as it dwells upon my Memory) out of that honest
Traveller, in his fifty fifth Page, the History of Inkle
and Yarico,
Mr, Thomas Inkle, of London, aged twenty Years,
embarked in the Downs on the good Ship called the
Achilles, bound  for the   Westlndies, on the 16th
of June, 1647, in order to improve his Fortune by
Trade and Merchandize,     Our Adventurer was the
third Son of an eminent Citizen, who had taken
particular Care to instill into his Mind an early Love
of Gain, by making him a perfect Master of Numbers,
and consequently giving him a quick View of Loss
and Advantage, and preventing the natural Impulses
of his Passions, by Prepossession towards his Interests.
With a.MiWid thus turned, young Inkle had a Person
every




44


THE SPECTATOR


No 11,  every way agreeable, a ruddy Vigour in his Counten,
Tuesday, ance, Strength in his Limbs, with Ringlets of fair
Mach 13, Hair loosely flowing on his Shoulders, It happened,
in the Course of the Voyage, that the Achilles, in some
Distress, put into a Creek on the Main of America, in
Search of Provisions, The Youth, who is the Hero of
my Story, among others, went ashore on this Occasion,
From their first Landing they were observed by a
Party of Indians, who hid themselves in the Woods
for that Purpose, The English unadvisedly marched
a great distance from the Shore into the Country, and
were intercepted by the Natives, who slew the greatest
Number of them,     Our Adventurer escaped among
others, by flying into a Forest,  Upon his coming
into a remote arid pathless Part of the Wood, he threw
himself, tired and breathless, on a little Hillock, when
an Indian Maid rushed from a Thicket behind him:
After the first Surprize, they appeared mutually agrees
able to each other, If the European was highly Charmed
with the Limbs, Features, and wild Graces of the
Naked American; the American was no less taken
with the Dress, Complexion, and Shape of an European,
covered from  Head to Foot,   The Indian grew   immediately enamoured of him, and consequently sollicitous
for his Preservation, She therefore conveyed him to a
Cave, where she gave him a delicious Repast of Fruits,
and led him to a Stream  to slake his Thirst, In the
midst of these good Offices, she would sometimes play
with his Hair, and delight in the Opposition of its Colour
to that of her Fingers: Then open his Bosom, then
laugh at him for covering it, She was, it seems, a
Person of Distinction, for she every Day came to him
in a different Dress, of the most beautiful Shells, Bugles,
and Bredes, She likewise brought him a great many
Spoils, which her other Lovers had presented to her;
so that his Cave was richly adorned with all the spotted
Skins of Beasts, and most Party-coloured Feathers of
Fowls, which   that World afforded,   To make    his
Confinement more tolerable, she would carry him in
the dusk of the Evening, or by the favour of Moonlight, to unfrequented Groves and Solitudes, and shew
him




THE SPECTATOR


45


him  where to lye down in Safety, and sleep amidst No, 11
the Falls of Waters, and Melody of Nightingales, Her Tuesday,
Part was to watch and hold him awake in her Arms, M71 1
for fear of her Countrymen, and awake him on Occasions
to consult his Safety, In this manner did the Lovers
pass away their Time, till they had learn'd a Language
of their own, in which the Voyager communicated to
his Mistress, how happy he should be to have her in
his Country, where she should be Cloathed in such Silks
as his Wastecoat was made of, and be carried in Houses
drawn by Horses, without being exposed to Wind or
Weather, All this he promised her the Enjoyment of,
without such Fears and Alarms as they were there
tormented with, In this tender Correspondence these
Lovers lived for several Months, when Yarico, instructed
by her Lover, discovered a Vessel on the Coast, to which
she made Signals; and in the Night, with the utmost
Joy and Satisfaction, accompanied him to a Ship'sCrew
of his Countrymen, bound for Barbadoes, When a Vessel
from the Main arrives in that Island, it seems the
Planters come down to the Shoar, where there is an
immediate Market of the Indians and other Slaves, as
with us of Horses and Oxen,
To be short, Mr, Thomas Inkle, now coming into
Ehnglish Territories, began seriously to reflect upon
his loss of Time, and to weigh with himself how many
Days Interest of his Money he had lost during his
Stay with Yarico, This Thought made the young Man
very pensive, and careful what Account he should be
able to give his Friends of his Voyage, Upon which
Considerations, the prudent and frugal young Man sold
Yarico to a Barbadian Merchant; notwithstanding that
the poor Girl, to incline him to commiserate her Condition, told him that she was with Child by him  But he
only made use of that Information, to rise in his Demands
upon the Purchaser,
I was so touch'd with this Story, (which I think should
be always a Counterpart to the Ephesian Matron) that
I left the Room with Tears in my Eyes; which a Woman
of Arietta's good Sense, did, I am sure, take for greater
Applause, than any Compliments I could make her,  R
Wednesday




46


THE SPECTATOR


No, 12,  No, 12,
Wednes  [ADDISON.]                      Wednesday, March 14,.
day,
March 14,      -- Veteres avias tibi de pulmone revello,-Pers,
1711,
A  T     my coming to London, it was some time
before I could settle my self in a House to my
liking, I was forced to quit my first Lodgings, by reason
of an officious Landlady, that would be asking me every
Morning how I had slept, I then fell into an honest
Family, and lived very happily for above a Week; when
my Landlord, who was a jolly good-natured Man, took
it into his Head that I wanted Company, and therefore
would frequently come into my Chamber to keep me
from being alone, This I bore for two or three Days;
but telling me one Day that he was afraid I was melancholy, I thought it was high time for me to be gone,
and accordingly took new Lodgings that very Night,
About a Week after, I found my jolly Landlord, who,
as I said before, was an honest hearty Man, had put
me into an Advertisement of the Daily Courant, in the
following Words, Whereas a melancholy Man left his
Lodgings on Thursday last in the Afternoon, and was
afterwards seen going towards Islington / If any one can
give Notice of him to R, B, Fishmonger in the Strand, he
shall be very well rewarded for his pains, As I am the
best Man in the World to keep my own Counsel, and my
Landlord the Fishmonger not knowing my Name, this
Accident of my Life was never discovered to this very Day,
I am now settled with a Widow-woman, who has a
great many Children, and complies with my Humour in
every thing, I do not remember that we have exchanged
a Word together these Five Years; my Coffee comes into
my Chamber every Morning without asking for it; if I
want Fire I point to my Chimney, if Water to my Bason,
Upon which my Landlady nodds, as much as to say she
takes my Meaning, and immediately obeys my Signals,
She has likewise model'd her Family so well, that when
her little Boy offers to pull me by the Coat, or prattle in
my Face, his eldest Sister immediately calls him off, and
bids him not disturb the Gentleman, At my first entring
into the Family, I was troubled with the Civility of their
rising




THE SPECTATOR


47


rising up to me every time I came into the Room; but my No, 12,
Landlady observing that upon these Occasions I always Wednes,
cried Pish, and went out again, has forbidden any such dac 14,
Ceremony to be used in the House; so that at present I 1711,
walk into the Kitchen or Parlour without being taken
notice of, or giving any Interruption to the Business or
Discourse of the Family, The Maid will ask her Mistress
(tho' I am by) whether the Gentleman is ready to go to
Dinner, as the Mistress (who is indeed an excellent House,
wife) scolds at the Servants as heartily before my Face as
behind my Back, In short, I move up and down the
House and enter into all Companies, with the same Liberty
as a Cat or any other Domestick Animal, and am as little
suspected of telling any thing that I hear or see,
I remember last Winter there were several young
Girls of the Neighbourhood sitting about the Fire with
my Landlady's Daughters, and telling Stories of Spirits and
Apparitions, Upon my opening the Door the young
Women broke off their Discourse, but my Landlady's
Daughters telling them that it was no Body but the
Gentleman (for that is the Name which I go by in the
Neighbourhood as well as in the Family) they went on
without minding me, I seated my self by the Candle that
stood on a Table at one end of the Room; and pretending
to read a Book that I took out of my Pocket, heard several
dreadful Stories of Ghosts as pale as Ashes that had stood
at the Feet of a Bed, or walked over a Churchyard by
Moonlights And of others that had been conjured into
the Red-Sea, for disturbing People's Rest, and drawing their
Curtains at Midnight; with many other old Women's
Fables of the like nature, As one Spirit raised another,
I observed that at the End of every Story the whole Com,
pany closed their Ranks, and crouded about the Fire: I
took Notice in particular of a little Boy, who was so attentive to every Story, that I am mistaken if he ventures to go
to Bed by himself this Twelvemonth, Indeed they talked
so long, that the Imaginations of the whole Assembly
were manifestly crazed, and I am sure will be the worse
for it as long as they live, I heard one of the Girls, that
had looked upon me over her Shoulder, asking the Com,
pany how long I had been in the Room, and whether I
did




48


THE SPECTATOR


No, 12,  did not look paler than I used to do, This put me under
Wednes, some Apprehensions that I should be forced to explain
day,
ch 14 my self if I did not retire; for which Reason I took the
1711,   Candle in my Hand, and went up into my Chamber, not
without wondering at this unaccountable Weakness in
reasonable Creatures, that they should love to astonish
and terrifie one another, Were I a Father, I should take
a particular Care to preserve my Children from these
little Horrors of Imagination, which they are apt to cone
tract when they are young, and are not able to shake
off when they are in Years, I have known a Soldier
that has entered a Breach, affrighted at his own Shadow;
and look pale upon a little scratching at his Door, who
the Day before had marched up against a Battery of
Cannon, There are Instances of Persons, who have
been terrified, even to Distraction, at the Figure of a
Tree, or the shaking of a Bullsrush, The Truth of it is,
~/ I look upon a sound Imagination as the greatest Blessing
of Life, next to a clear Judgment and a good Conscience,
In the mean time, since there are very few whose Minds
are not more or less subject to these dreadful Thoughts
and Apprehensions, we ought to arm our selves against
them by the Dictates of Reason and Religion, to pull the old
Woman out of our Hearts (as Persius expresses it in the
Motto of my Paper) and extinguish those impertinent
Notions which we imbibed at a Time that we were not
able to judge of their Absurdity, Or if we believe, as
many wise and good Men have done, that there are such
Phantoms and Apparitions as those I have been speaking
of, let us endeavour to establish to our selves an Interest
in him who holds the Reins of the whole Creation in
his Hand, and moderates them after such a Manner, that
it is impossible for one Being to break loose upon another
without his Knowledge and Permission,
For my own Part, I am apt to join in Opinion with
those who believe that all the Regions of Nature swarm
with Spirits; and that we have Multitudes of Spectators
on all our Actions, when we think our selves most alone s
But instead of terrifying myself with such a Notion, I am
wonderfully pleased to think that I am always engaged
with such an innumerable Society, in searchingout the
Wonders




THE SPECTATOR                       49
Wonders of the dreation, and joining in the same Consort No, 12,
of Praise and Adoration,                               WednesMilton has finely described this mixed Communion of day,
March 14,
Men and Spirits in Paradise; and had doubtless his Eye 1711,
upon a Verse in old Hesiod, which is almost Word for
Word the same with his third Line in the following
Passage,
----     Nor think, though Men were none,
That Heav'n would want Spectators, God want Praise
Millions of spiritual Creatures walk the Earth
Unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep
All these with ceaseless Praise his Works behold
Both Day and Night, How often from the Steep
Of echoing Hill or Thicket have we heard
Celestial Voices to the midnight Air,
Sole, or responsive each to other's Note,
Singing their great Creator? Oft in Bands
While they keep Watch, or nightly rounding walk
With heav'nly Touch of instrumental Sounds,
In full harmonick Number join'd, their Songs
Divide the Night, and lift our Thoughts to Heav'n,
C
No, 13,
[ADDISON,]                         Thursday, March 15,
Dic mihi, si fias tu leo, quails eris -Mart,
T    HERE is nothing that of late Years has afforded
Matter of greater Amusement to the Town than
Signior Nicolini's Combat with a Lion in the Hay,
Market, which has been very often exhibited to the
general Satisfaction of most of the Nobility and Gentry
in the Kingdom of Great Britain, Upon the first Rumour
of this intended Combat, it was confidently affirmed, and
is still believed by many in both Galleries, that there
would be a tame Lion sent from the Tower every Opera
Night, in order to be killed by Hydaspes; this Report,
though altogether groundless, so universally prevailed in
the upper  egions of the Play-house, that some of the
most refined Politicians in those Parts of the Audience
gave it out in Whisper, that the Lion was a CousinGerman of the Tyger who made his Appearance in King
William's Days, and that the Stage would be supplied
with Lions at the publick Expence, during the whole
D                    Session




50            THE SPECTATOR
No, 13. Session, Many likewise were the Conjectures of the;Thursday, Treatment which this Lion was to meet with from the
March 15, Hands of Signior Nicolini; some supposed that he was
to subdue him in Recitativo, as Orpheus used to serve
the wild Beasts in his time, and afterwards to knock
him  on the Head; some fancied that the Lion would
not pretend to lay his Paws upon the Hero, by reason
of the received Opinion, that a Lion will not hurt a
Virgin, Several, who pretended to have seen the Opera
in Italy, had informed their Friends, that the Lion
was to act a Part in High-Dutch, and roar twice or
thrice to a Thorough Base, before he fell at the Feet of
Hydaspes, To clear up a Matter that was so variously
reported, I have made it my Business to examine whether
this pretended Lion is really the Savage he appears to
be, or only a Counterfeit,
But before I communicate my Discoveries, I must
acquaint the Reader, that upon my walking behind the
Scenes last Winter, as I was thinking on something else,
I accidentally justled against a monstrous Animal that
extreamly startled me, and upon my nearer Survey of
it, appeared to be a Lion Rampant, The Lion, seeing
me very much surprized, told me, in a gentle Voice,
that I might come by him if I pleased? For (says he)
I do not intend to hurt any body, I thanked him very
kindly, and passed by him, And in a little time after
saw him leap upon the Stage, and act his Part with very
great Applause, It has been observed by several, that
the Lion has changed his manner of Acting twice or
thrice since his first Appearance; which will not seem
strange, when I acquaint my Reader that the Lion has
been changed upon the Audience three several times.
The first Lion was a Candlesnuffer, who being a Fellow
of a testy cholerick Temper overdid his Part, and would
not suffer himself to be killed so easily as he ought to
have done; besides, it was observed of him, that he grew
more surly every time he came out of the Lion; and
having dropt some Words in ordinary Conversation, as
if he had not fought his best, and that he suffered himself
to be thrown upon his Back in the Scuffle, and that he
would wrestle with Mr, Nicolini for what he pleased,
out




THE SPECTATOR


51


out of his Lion's Skin, it was thought proper to discard No. 13.
him  And it is verily believed to this Day, that had he Thursdaa
been brought upon the Stage another time, he would Mrchl
certainly have done Mischief, Besides, it was objected
against the first Lion, that he reared himself so high
upon his hinder Paws, and walked in so erect a Posture,
that he looked more like an old Man than a Lion,
The second Lion was a Taylor by Trade, who be,
longed to the Play-house, and had the Character of a
mild and peaceable Man in his Profession, If the former
was too furious, this was too sheepish, for his Part;
insomuch that after a short modest Walk upon the Stage,
he would fall at the first Touch of Hydaspes, without
grapling with him, and giving him  an Opportunity of
showing his Variety of Italian Tripps: It is said indeed,
that he once gave him a Ripp in his fleshcolour Doublet,
but this was only to make Work for himself, in his
private Character of a Taylor, I must not omit that it
was this second Lion who treated me with so much
Humanity behind the Scenes.
The Acting Lion at present is, as I am informed, a
Country Gentleman, who does it for his Diversion, but
desires his Name may be concealed, He says very
handsomely in his own Excuse, that he does not Act
for Gain, that he indulges an innocent Pleasure in it,
and that it is better to pass away an Evening in this
manner, than in Gaming and Drinking: But at the
same time says, with a very agreeable Raillery upon
himself, that if his Name should be known, the illnatured World might call him, The Ass in the Lion's
Skin, This Gentleman's Temper is made out of such
a happy Mixture of the Mild and the Cholerick, that he
outdoes both his Predecessors, and has drawn together
greater Audiences than have been known in the Memory
of Man,
I must not conclude my Narrative, without taking
Notice of a groundless Report that has been raised, to a
Gentleman's Disadvantage, of whom I must declare my
self an Admirer; namely, that Signior Nicolini and the
Lion have been seen sitting peaceably by one another,
and smoaking a Pipe together, behind the Scenes by
w ihch




RI


7"TT-Tp   imPF1rT A TnP'I! No. 13  which their common Enemies would insinuate, that it
Thursday, is but a sham Combat which they represent upon the
MIch 1f Stage But upon Enquiry I find, that if any such Corre,
spondence has passed between them, it was not till the
Combat was over, when the Lion was to be looked upon
as dead, according to the received Rules of the Drama,
Besides, this is what is practised every Day in West,
minsterHall, where nothing is more usual than to see
a Couple of Lawyers, who have been tearing each other
to pieces in the Court, embracing one another as soon
as they are out of it
I would not be thought, in any part of this Relation,
to reflect upon Signior Nicolini, who in Acting this
Part only complies with the wretched Taste of his
Audience; he knows very well, that the Lion has many
more Admirers than himself; as they say of the famous
Equestrian Statue on the PontNeuf at Paris, that more
People go to see the Horse, than the King who sits upon
it, On the contrary, it gives me a just Indignation, to
see a Person whose Action gives new Majesty to Kings,
Resolution to Heroes, and Softness to Lovers, thus sinking
from the Greatness of his Behaviour, and degraded into
the Character of the London Prentice, I have often
wished, that our Tragoedians would copy after this great
Master in Action, Could they make the same use of
their Arms and Legs, and inform their Faces with as
significant Looks and Passions, how glorious would an
English Tragedy appear with that Action, which is cape
able of giving a Dignity to the forced Thoughts, cold
Conceits, and unnatural Expressions of an Italian Opera,
In the mean time, I have related this Combat of the Lion,
to shew what are at present the reigning Entertainments
of the Politer Part of Great Britain,
Audiences have often been reproached by Writers for
the Coarseness of their Taste, but our present Grievance
does not seem to be the Want of a good Taste, but of
Common Sense,                                     C
Friday




THE SPECTATOR


53


No, 14,                                             No. 14,
[STEELE,]                           Friday, March 16. Far
-  Teque his infelix exue monstris,-Ovid.  1711.
I WAS reflecting this Morning upon the Spirit and
Humour of the publick Diversions Five and twenty
Years ago, and those of the present Time; and lamented
to my self, that though in those Days they neglected
their Morality, they kept up their Good Sense; but that
the beau Monde at present is only grown more childish,
not more innocent, than the former, While I was in
this Train of Thought, an odd Fellow, whose Face I have
often seen at the Play-house, gave me the following
Letter with these Words, Sir, The Lion presents his
humble Service to you, and desired me to give this into
your own Hands,
'From my Den in the HayMarket, March 15,
Sir,
I have read all your Papers, and have stifled my
Resentment against your Reflections upon Operas, 'till
that of this Day, wherein you plainly insinuate that
Signior Grimaldi and my self have a Correspondence
more friendly than is consistent with the Valour of his
Character, or the Fierceness of mine, I desire you
would for your own Sake forbear such Intimations for
the future; and must say it is a great Piece of Ill-nature
in you, to shew so great an Esteem for a Foreigner, and
to discourage a Lion that is your own Country-man,
I take notice of your Fable of the Lion and Man, but
am so equally concerned in that Matter, that I shall not be
offended to which soever of the Animals the Superiority
is given. You have misrepresented me, in saying that
I am a Country Gentleman who act only for my
Diversion; whereas, had I still the same Woods to range
in which I once had when I was a Fox-hunter, I should
not resign my Manhood for a Maintenance; and assure
you, as low as my Circumstances are at present, I am
so much a Man of Honour, that I would scorn to be any
Beast for Bread but a Lion,
Yours, &c,'
I




54


THE SPECTATOR


No, 14,    I had no sooner ended this, than one of my Landlady's
Friday   Children brought me in several others, with some of
March 16, which I shall make up my present Paper, they all having
7  a Tendency to the same Subject, viz, the Elegance of
i our present Diversions,
Sir,                 CoventGarden, March 13,
I have been for twenty Years UnderSexton of this
Parish of St, Paul's CoventGarden, and have not missed
tolling in to Prayers six times in all those Years; which
Office I have performed to my great Satisfaction, till this
Fortnight last past, during which Time I find my Con,
regation take the Warning of my Bell, Morning and
Evening, to go to a PuppetShow set forth by one Powell
under the Piazzas, By this Means I have not only lost
my two Customers, whom I used to place for Sixpence
apiece overagainst Mrs. Rachel Eye bright, but Mrs,
Rachel her self is gone thither also, There now appear
among us none but a few ordinary People, who come
to Church only to say their Prayers, so that I have no
Work worth speaking of but on Sundays, I have placed
my Son at the Piazzas, to acquaint the Ladies that the
Bell rings for Church, and that it stands on the other
Side of the Garden; but they only laugh at the Child,
I desire you would lay this before all the World, that
I may not be made such a Tool for the future, and that
Punchinello may chuse Hours less canonical, As things
are now, Mr, Powell has a full Congregation, while we
have a very thin House; which if you can remedy, you
will very much oblige,
Sir,
Your, &c,'
The following Epistle I find is from the Undertaker
of the Masquerade,
'Sir,
I have observed the Rules of my Masque so carefully
(in not enquiring into Persons) that I cannot tell
whether you were one of the Company or not last
Tuesday; but if you were not, and still design to come,
I desire you would, for your own Entertainment, please
to admonish the Town, that all Persons indifferently
are




THE SPECTATOR


55


are not fit for this sort of Diversion, I could wish, Sir, No, 14,
you could make them   understand, that it is a kind of riday,
acting to go in Masquerade, and a Man should be able Mjrch16f
to say or do things proper for the Dress in which he
appears, We have now and then Rakes in the Habit
of Roman Senators, and grave Politicians in the Dress
of Rakes, The Misfortune of the thing is, that People
dress themselves in what they have a Mind to be, and
not what they are fit for, There is not a Girl in the
Town, but let her have her Will in going to a Masque,
and she shall dress as a Shepherdess, But let me beg of
them to read the Arcadia, or some other good Romance,
before they appear in any such Character at my House,
The last Day we presented, every Body was so rashly
habited, that when they came to speak to each other,
a Nymph with a Crook had not a Word to say but in
the pert Stile of the Pit Bawdry; and a Man in the Habit
of a Philosopher was speechless, till an Occasion offered
of expressing himself in the Refuse of the Tyring-Rooms,
We had a Judge that danced a Minuet, with a Quaker
for his Partner, while half a dozen Harlequins stood by
as Spectators, A  Turk drank me off two Bottles of
Wine, and a Jew eat me up half a Ham of Bacon, If
I can bring my Design to bear, and make the Masquers
preserve their Characters in my Assemblies, I hope you
will allow there is a Foundation laid for more elegant
and improving Gallantries than any the Town at present
affords; and consequently, that you will give your Ap,
probation to the Endeavours of,
Sir,
Your most obedient humble Servant,'
I am very glad the following Epistle obliges me to
mention Mr. Powell a second Time in the same Paper;
for indeed there cannot be too great Encouragement
given to his Skill in Motions, provided he is under
proper Restrictions,
'Sir,
The Opera at the HayMarket, and that under the
little Piazza in CoventoGarden, being at present the
two leading Diversions of the Town, and Mr, Powell
professing




56


THE SPECTATOR


INo, 14,  professing in his Advertisements to set up Whittington
Friday,  and his Cat against Rinaldo and Armida, my Curiosity
March 16, led me the Beginning of last Week to view both these
Performances, and make my Observations upon them,
First therefore, I cannot but observe that Mr. Powell
wisely forbearing to give his Company a Bill of Fare
beforehand, every Scene is new and unexpected; whereas
it is certain, that the Undertakers of the Hay-Market,
having raised too great an Expectation in their printed
Opera, very much disappoint their Audience on the Stage,
The King of Jerusalem is obliged to come from the
City on foot, instead of being drawn in a triumphant
Chariot by white Horses, as my OperaBook had pro,
mised me; and thus while I expected Armida's Dragons
should rush forward towards Argantes, I found the
Hero was obliged to go to Armida, and hand her out
of her Coach, We had also but a very short Allowance
of Thunder and Lightning; tho' I cannot in this Place
omit doing Justice to the Boy who had the Direction
of the Two painted Dragons, and made them spit Fire
and Smoke: He flash'd out his Rosin in such just Proportions and in such due Time, that I could not forbear
conceiving Hopes of his being one Day a most excellent
Player, I saw indeed but Two things wanting to render
his whole Action compleat, I mean the keeping his
Head a little lower, and hiding his Candle,
I observe that Mr. Powell and the Undertakers had
both the same Thought, and I think much about the
same time, of introducing Animals on their several
Stages, tho' indeed with very different Success.  The
Sparrows and Chaffinches at the Hay-Market fly as yet
very irregularly over the Stage; and instead of perching
on the Trees and performing their Parts, these young
Actors either get into the Galleries or put out the
Candles; whereas Mr. Powell has so well disciplin'd
his Pig, that in the first Scene he and Punch dance a
Minuet together. I am informed however, that Mr.
Powell resolves to excell his Adversaries in their
own Way; and introduce Larks in his next Opera of
Susanna, or   Innocence   betrayed, which   will be
exhibited next Week with a Pair of new Elders,
The




THE SPECTATOR


57


The Moral/of Mr, Powell's Drama is violated, I con- No, 14,
fess, by Punch's national Reflections on the French, Friday,
and King Harry's laying his Leg upon the Queen's March16,
Lap in too ludicrous a manner before so great an
Assembly,
As to the Mechanism and Scenary, every thing indeed
was uniform and of a Piece, and the Scenes were managed very dexterously; which calls on me to take notice,
that at the HayMarket the Undertakers forgetting to
change their SideScenes, we were presented with a
Prospect of the Ocean in the midst of a delightful Grove
and tho' the Gentlemen on the Stage had very much
contributed to the Beauty of the Grove by walking up
and down between the Trees, I must own I was not a
little astonished to see a welldressed young Fellow, in
a full-bottom'd Wigg, appear in the midst of the Sea,
and without any visible Concern taking Snuff,
I shall only observe one thing further, in which both
Dramas agree; which is, that by the Squeak of their
Voices the Heroes of each are Eunuchs; and as the Wit
in both Pieces is equal, I must prefer the Performance
of Mr, Powell, because it is in our own Language,
R                                   I am, tc,'
No, 15,
[ADDISON,]                        Saturday, March 17,
Parva Ieves capiunt animos,-Ovid.
WX HEN I was in France, I used to gaze with great
Astonishment at the Splendid Equipages, and
Party-coloured Habits, of that Fantastick Nation, I was
one Day in particular contemplating a Lady, that sate
in a Coach adorned with gilded Cupids, and finely
painted with the Loves of Venus and Adonis,     The
Coach was drawn by six milk-white Horses, and loaden
behind with the same Number of powder'd Footmen,
Just before the Lady were a Couple of beautiful Pages,
that were stuck among the Harness, and, by their gay
Dresses and smiling Features, looked like the elder
Brothers of the little Boys that were carved and painted
in every corner of the Coach,
The




58             THE SPECTATOR; No,15,    The Lady was the unfortunate Cleanthe, who afterSaturday, wards gave an Occasion to a pretty melancholy Novel,
Mach 17, She had, for several Years, received the Addresses of a
Gentleman, whom, after a long and intimate Acquaint,
ance she forsook, upon the Account of this shining
Equipage, which had been offered to her by one of
Great Riches, but a Crazy Constitution, The Circum,
stances in which I saw her, were, it seems, the Disguises
only of a broken Heart, and a kind of Pageantry to
cover Distress; for in two Months after she was carried
to her Grave with the same Pomp and Magnificence;
being sent thither partly by the Loss of one Lover, and
partly by the Possession of another,
I have often reflected with my self on this unaccountI able Humour in Womankind, of being smitten with
I every thing that is showy and superficial; and on the
i numberless Evils that befal the Sex, from  this light
fantastical Disposition, I my self remember a young
Lady, that was very warmly sollicited by a Couple of
importunate Rivals, who for several Months together
did all they could to recommend themselves, by Com,
placency of Behaviour, and Agreeableness of Conversa,
tion, At length, when the Competition was doubtful,
and the Lady undetermined in her Choice, one of the
young Lovers very luckily bethought himself of adding
a supernumerary Lace to his Liveries, which had so good
an Effect that he Married her the very Week after,
The usual Conversation of ordinary Women very
much cherishes this natural Weakness of being taken
with Outside and Appearance, Talk of a newmarried
Couple, and you immediately hear whether they keep
their Coach and six, or eat in Plates Mention the Name
of an absent Lady, and it is ten to one but you learn
something of her Gown and Petticoat, A Ball is a great
Help to Discourse, and a BirthiDay furnishes Conversation
for a Twelve-month after,   A  Furbelow  of precious
Stones, an Hat buttoned with a Diamond, a Brocade
Waistcoat or Petticoat, are standing Topicks, In short,
they consider only the Drapery of te Species, and never
cast away a Thought on those Ornaments of the Mind,
that make Persons Illustrious in themselves, and Useful
to




THE SPECTATOR


59


to others, When Women are thus perpetually dazling No, 15,
one another's Imaginations, and filling their Heads with Saturday,
nothing but Colours, it is no Wonder that they are more  arch f7
attentive to the superficial Parts of Life, than the solid 17
and substantial Blessings of it, A Girl, who has been
trained up in this kind of Conversation, is in danger of
every Embroidered Coat that comes in her Way, A
Pair of fringed Gloves may be her Ruin, In a word,
Lace and Ribbons, Silver and Gold Galloons, with the
like glittering Gewgaws, are so many Lures to Women
of weak Minds or low Educations, and, when artficially
displayed, are able to fetch down the most airy Coquet
from the wildest of her Flights and Rambles,
True Happiness is of a retired Nature, and an Enemy
to Pomp and Noise; it arises, in the first place, from the
Enjoyment of ones self; and, in the next, from the
Friendship and Conversation of a few select Companions,
It loves Shade and Solitude, and naturally haunts Groves
and Fountains, Fields and Meadows, In short, it feels
every thing it wants within it self, and receives no
Addition from Multitudes of Witnesses and Spectators,
On the contrary, false Happiness loves to be in a Crowd,
and to draw the Eyes of the World upon her, She does
not receive any Satisfaction from the Applauses which
she gives her self, but from the Admiration which she
raises in others, She flourishes in Courts and Palaces,
Theatres and Assemblies, and has no Existence but
when she is looked upon,
Aurelia, though a Woman of great Quality, delights
in the Privacy of a Country Life, and passes away a
great part of her Time in her own Walks and Gardens,
Her Husband, who is her Bosom Friend, and Companion
in her Solitudes, has been in Love with her ever since
he knew her, They both abound with good Sense, con,
summate Virtue, and a mutual Esteem; and are a perpetual
Entertainment to one another, Their Family is under
so regular an Oeconomy, in its Hours of Devotion and
Repast, Employment and Diversion, that it looks like a
little Commonwealth within it self, They often go into
Company, that they may return with the greater Delight
to one another; and sometimes live in Town, not to
enjoy




60


THE SPECTATOR


No, 15,  enjoy it so properly as to grow weary of it, that they
Saturday, may renew in themselves the Relish of a Country Life,
March17, By this means they are happy in each other, beloved
by their Children, adored by their Servants, and are
become the Envy, or rather the Delight, of all that know
them,
How different to this is the Life of Fulvia I she cone
siders her Husband as her Steward, and looks upon Discretion and good Housewifry as little domestick Virtues,
unbecoming a Woman of Quality, She thinks Life lost
in her own Family, and fancies her self out of the
World when she is not in the Ring, the Playhouse, or
the Drawing-Room, She lives in a perpetual Motion
of Body, and Restlessness of Thought, and is never easie
in any one Place when she thinks there is more Company in another, The missing of an Opera the first
Night, would be more afflicting to her than the Death
of a Child, She pities all the valuable Part of her own
Sex, and calls every Woman of a prudent modest retired
Life, a poorspirited unpolished Creature, What a Mortification would it be to Fulvia, if she knew that her
setting her self to View is but exposing her self, and that
she grows Contemptible by being Conspicuous,
I cannot conclude my Paper, without observing that
Virgil has very finely touched upon this Female Passion
for Dress and Show, in the Character of Camilla; who,
though she seems to have shaken off all the other Weaknesses of her Sex, is still described as a Woman in this
Particular, The Poet tells us, that after having made a
great Slaughter of the Enemy, she unfortunately cast
her Eye on a Trojan who wore an embroidered Tunick,
a beautiful Coat of Mail, with a Mantle of the finest
Purple, A   Golden Bow, says he, hung     upon his
Shoulderi his Garment was buckled with a Golden
Clasp, and his Head was covered with an Helmet of
the same shining Metal, The Amazon immediately
singled out this welldressed Warrior, being seized with
a Woman's Longing for the pretty Trappings that he
was adorned withs
totumque incauta per agmen
Femineo praedae d spolorum ardebat amore,
This




THE SPECTATOR


61


This heedless /Pursuit after these glittering Trifles, the No, 15,
Poet (by a nice concealed Moral) represents to have been Saturday,
the Destruction of his Female Hero,               C March 17,
1711,
No, 16,
[ADDISON,]                         Monday, March 19,
Quid verum atque decens curo & rogo & omnis in hoc sum,-Hor,
HAVE received a Letter, desiring me to be very
satyrical upon the little Muff that is now in Fashion;
another informs me of a Pair of silver Garters buckled
below the Knee, that have been lately seen at the
Rainbow Coffee-house in Fleetstreet; a third sends me
an heavy Complaint against fringed Gloves. To be
brief, there is scarce an Ornament of either Sex which
one or other of my Correspondents has not inveighed
against with some Bitterness, and recommended to my
Observation,  I must therefore, once for all, inform
my Readers, that it is not my Intention to sink the
Dignity of this my Paper with Reflections upon Redheels or Top-knots, but rather to enter into the Passions
of Mankind, and to correct those depraved Sentiments
that give Birth to all those little Extravagances which
appear in their outward Dress and Behaviour, Foppish
and fantastick Ornaments are only Indications of Vice,
not criminal in themselves, Extinguish Vanity in the
Mind, and you naturally retrench the little Superfluities of
Garniture and Equipage, The Blossoms will fall of themselves, when the Root that nourishes them is destroyed,
I shall therefore, as I have said, apply my Remedies
to the first Seeds and Principles of an affected Dress,
without descending to the Dress it self; though at the
same time I must own, that I have thoughts of creating
an Officer under me, to be entituled, The Censor of small
Wares, and of allotting him  one Day in a Week for
the Execution of such his Office, An Operator of this
Nature might act under me, with the same Regard as
a Surgeon to a Physician; the one might be employed in healing those Blotches and Tumours which
break out in the Body, while the other is sweetning
the Blood and rectifying the Constitution,  To speak
truly




62


THE SPECTATOR


Monday, fully apt to shoot out into long Swords or sweeping
arch 19, Trains, bushy Head-dresses or full-bottom'd Perriwigs,
with several other Incumbrances of Dress, that they
stand in need of being pruned very frequently, lest they
should be oppressed with Ornaments, and over-run
with the Luxuriency of their Habits, I am  much in
doubt, whether I should give the Preference to a
Quaker that is trimmed close and almost cut to the
Quick, or to a Beau that is loaden with such a Redundance of Excrescences, I must therefore desire my
Correspondents to let me know how they approve my
Project, and whether they think the erecting of such a
petty Censorship may not turn to the Emolument of
the Publick; for I would not do any thing of this
Nature rashly and without Advice,
There is another Set of Correspondents to whom I
must address my self in the second Place; I mean,
such as fill their Letters with private Scandal, and black
Accounts of particular Persons and Families,   The
World is so full of Ill-nature, that I have Lampoons
sent me by People who cannot spell, and Satyrs compos'd by those who scarce know how to write, By
the last Post in particular I received a Packet of Scandal
which is not legible; and have a whole Bundle of
Letters in Women's Hands that are full of Blots and
Calumnies, insomuch that when I see the Name Caelia,
Phillis, Pastora, or the like, at the Bottom of a Scrawl,
I conclude on course that it brings me some Account of
a fallen Virgin, a faithless Wife, or an amorous Widow,
I must therefore inform these my Correspondents, that
it is not my Design to be a Publisher of Intreagues
and Cuckoldoms, or to bring little infamous Stories out
of their present lurking Holes into broad Day-light, If
I attack the Vicious, I shall only set upon them  in a
Body; and will not be provoked by the worst Usage I
can receive from others, to make an Example of any
particular Criminal, In short, I have so much of a
Drawcansir in me, that I shall pass over a single Foe
to charge whole Armies, It is not Lais or Silenus,
but the Harlot and the Drunkard, whom    I shall endeavour




THE SPECTATOR


63


deavour to expose; and shall consider the Crime as it No, 16,
appears in a Species, not as it is circumstanced in an Monday,
Individual,  I think it was Caligula who wished the March 19
whole City of Rome had but one Neck, that he might711
behead them at a Blow, I shall do out of Humanity,
what that Emperor would have done in the Cruelty of
his Temper, and aim every Stroke at a collective Body
of Offenders, At the same time I am very sensible,
that nothing spreads a Paper like private Calumny and
Defamation; but as my Speculations are not under this
Necessity, they are not exposed to this Temptation,
In the next Place I must apply my self to my Party,
Correspondents, who are continually teazing me to take
Notice of one another's Proceedings,  How often am I
asked by both Sides, if it is possible for me to be an un,
concerned Spectator of the Rogueries that are committed
by the Party which is opposite to him that writes the
Letter, About two Days since I was reproached with an
old Grecian Law, that forbids any Man to stand as a
Neuter or a Looker-on in the Divisions of his Country,
However, as I am very sensible my Paper would lose its
whole Effect, should it run into the Outrages of a Party, I
shall take care to keep clear of every thing which looks
that Way, If I can any way asswage private Inflamations,
or allay publick Ferments, I shall apply my self to it with
my utmost Endeavours; but will never let my Heart
reproach me, with having done any thing towards en,
creasing those Feuds and Animosities that extinguish Re,
ligion, deface Government, and make a Nation miserable,
What I have said under the three foregoing Heads, will,
I am afraid, very much retrench the Number of my
Correspondents% I shall therefore acquaint my Reader,
that if he has started any Hint which he is not able to
pursue, if he has met with any surprizing Story which he
does not know how    to tell, if he has discovered any
Epidemical Vice which has escaped my Observation, or
has heard of any uncommon Virtue which he would
desire to publish; in short, if he has any Materials that
can furnish out an innocent Diversion, I shall promise
him my best Assistance in the working of them up for
a publick Entertainment
This




64             THE SPECTATOR
No, 16.   This Paper my Reader will find was intended for an
Monday, Answer to a Multitude of Correspondents but I hope he
March 19, will pardon me if I single out one of them in particular,
who has made me so very humble a Request, that I cannot
forbear complying with it,
'To the SPECTATOR.
Sir,                             March 15, 171~
I am at present so unfortunate, as to have nothing to
do but to mind my own Business; and therefore beg of
you that you will be pleased to put me into some small
Post under you, I observe that you have appointed your
Printer and Publisher to receive Letters and Advertises
ments for the City of London; and shall think my self
very much honoured by you, if you will appoint me to
take in Letters and Advertisements for the City of Westminster and the Dutchy of Lancaster, Though I cannot
promise to fill such an Employment with sufficient
Abilities, I will endeavour to make up with Industry and
Fidelity what I want in Parts and Genius,    I am,
Sir,
Your most obedient Servant,
C                                      Charles Lillie,'
No, 17,
[STEELE,]                         Tuesday, March 20.
---  Tetrum ante omnia vultum,-Juv,
SINCE our Persons are not of our own Making, when
they are such as appear Defective or Uncomely, it
is, methinks, an honest and laudable Fortitude to dare to
be Ugly at least to keep our selves from being abashed
with a Consciousness of Imperfections which we cannot
help, and in which there is no Guilt, I would not defend
an haggard Beau, for passing away much time at a Glass,
and giving Softnesses and Languishing Graces to Deformitys
All I intend is, that we ought to be contented with our
Countenance and Shape, so far, as never to give our
selves an uneasie Reflection on that Subject  It is to the
ordinary People, who are not accustomed to make very
proper




THE SPECTATOR


65


proper Remarks on any Occasion, matter of great Jest, if No. 17,
a Man enters with a prominent Pair of Shoulders into an Tuesday1
Assembly, or is distinguished by an Expansion of Mouth, Mach 0,
or Obliquity of Aspect, It is happy for a Man, that has
any of these Oddnesses about him, if he can be as merry
upon himself, as others are apt to be upon that Occasion s
When he can possess himself with such a Chearfulness,
Women and Children, who were at first frighted at him,
will afterwards be as much pleased with him, As it is
barbarous in others to railly him for natural Defects, it
is extreamly agreeable when he can Jest upon himself
for them,
Madam Maintenon's first Husband was an Hero in
this Kind, and has drawn many Pleasantries from the
Irregularity of his Shape, which he describes as very much
resembling the Letter Z, He diverts himself likewise
by representing to his Reader the Make of an Engine and
Pully, with which he used to take off his Hat, When
there happens to be anything ridiculous in a Visage, and
the Owner of it thinks it an Aspect of Dignity, he must
be of very great Quality to be exempt from Raillery
The best Expedient therefore is to be pleasant upon
himself,  Prince Harry and Falstaffe, in Shakespear,
have carried the Ridicule upon Fat and Lean as far as
it will go, Falstaffe is humourously called Woolsack,
Bed-presser, and Hill of Flesh  Harry, a Starveling, an
Elves-Skin, a Sheath, a Bow-case, and a Tuck, There
is, in several Incidents of the Conversation between them,
the Jest still kept up upon the Person, Great Tenderness
and Sensibility in this Point is one of the greatest Weak,
nesses of Self-love, For my own part, I am a little
unhappy in the Mold of my Face, which is not quite so
long as it is broad s Whether this might not partly arise
from my opening my Mouth much seldomer than other
People, and by Consequence not so much lengthning the
Fibres of my Visage, I am not at leisure to determine,
However it be, I have been often put out of Countenance
by the Shortness of my Face, and was formerly at great
Pains in concealing it by wearing a Periwig with an
high Foretop, and letting my Beard grow, But now I
have thoroughly got over this Delicacy, and could be
E            contented




66


THE SPECTATOR


No, 17.  contented it were much shorter, provided it might
Tuesday qualifie me for a Member of the Merry Club, which
71ch    the following Letter gives me an Account of, I have
received it from  Oxford, and as it abounds with the
Spirit of Mirth and good Humour which is natural to
that Place, I shall set it down Word for Word as it came
to me,
'Most Profound Sir,
Having been very well entertained, in the last of
your Speculations that I have yet seen, by your
Specimen upon Clubs, which I therefore hope you will
continue, I shall take the Liberty to furnish you with a
brief Account of such a one as perhaps you have not seen
in all your Travels, unless it was your Fortune to touch
upon some of the woody Parts of the African Continent,
in your Voyage to or from Grand Cairo, There have
arose in this University (long since you left us without
saying any thing) several of these inferior Hebdomadal
Societies, as the Punning Club, the Witty Club, and
amongst the rest the Handsome Club; as a Burlesque
upon which, a certain merry Species, that seem to have
come into the World in Masquerade, for some Years
last past have associated themselves together, and assumed
the Name of the Ugly Club: This illfavoured Fraternity
consists of a President and twelve Fellows; the Choice
of which is not confined by Patent to any particular
Foundation (as St, John's Men would have the World
believe, and have therefore erected a separate Society
within themselves) but Liberty is left to elect from any
School in Great Britain, provided the Candidates be
within the Rules of the Club, as set forth in a Table,
entituled, The Act of Deformity, A Clause or two of
which I shall transmit to you,
1, That no Person whatsoever shall be admitted
without a visible Quearity in his Aspect, or peculiar Cast
of Countenance; of which the President and Officers for
the time being are to determine, and the President to
have the casting Voice,
II, That a singular Regard be had, upon Examination,
to the Gibbosity of the Gentlemen that offer themselves,
as




THE SPECTATOR


67


as Founder's Kinsmen or to the Obliquity of their Figure, No, 17,
in what sort soever,                                Tuesday,
IIL That if the Quantity of any Man's Nose be eminently March 20
miscalculated, whether as to Length or Breadth, he shall
have a just Pretence to be elected,
Lastly, That if there shall be two or more Competitors
for the same Vacancy, caeteris paribus, he that has the
thickest Skin to have the Preference,
Every fresh Member, upon his first night, is to enters
tain the Company with a Dish of Cod-fish, and a Speech
in Praise of iEsop  whose Portraiture they have in full
Proportion, or rather Disproportion, over the Chimney;
and their Design is, as soon as their Funds are sufficient,
to purchase the Heads of Thersites, Duns Scotus, Scarron,
Hudibras, and the old Gentleman in Oldham, with all
the celebrated ill Faces of Antiquity, as Furniture for the
Club Room,
As they have always been professed Admirers of the
other Sex, so they unanimously declare that they will
give all possible Encouragement to such as will take the
Benefit of the Statute, though none yet have appeared
to do it,
The worthy President, who is their most devoted
Champion, has lately shewn me two Copies of Verses
composed by a Gentlemen of this Society; the first, a
Congratulatory Ode inscribed to Mrs, Touchwood, upon
the loss of her two Foreteeth; the other, a Panegyrck
upon Mrs, Andiron's left Shoulder,  Mrs, Vizard (he
says) since the Small Pox, is grown tolerably ugly, and
a top Toast in the Club; but I never heard him so lavish
of his fine things, as upon old Nell Trot, who constantly
officiates at their Table; her he even adores, and extols
as the very counterpart of Mother Shipton; in short,
Nell (says he) is one of the Extraordinary Works of
Nature; but as for Complexion, Shape, and Features, so
valued by others, they are all meer Outside and Symmetry,
which is his Aversion, Give me leave to add, that the
President is a facetious pleasant Gentleman, and never
more so, than when he has got (as he calls 'em) his dear
Mummers about him; and he often protests it does him
good to meet a Fellow with a right genuine Grimace in
his




68


THE SPECTATOR


4o. 17,  his Air (which is so agreeable in the generality of the
ruesday, French Nation) and, as an Instance of his Sincerity in
7arch 20, this particular, he gave me a sight of a List in his Pocket,
book of all of this Class, who for these five Years have
fallen under his Observation, with himself at the Head
of 'em, and in the Rear (as one of a promising and
improving Aspect)
Sir,
Oxford,            Your Obliged and
March 12, 1710,           Humble Servant,
R                                Alexander Carbuncle,
No, 18,
[ADDISON,]                       Wednesday, March 21.
-- Equitis quoque jam migravit ab aure voluptas
Omnis ad incertos oculos  gaudia vana,-Hor,
IT is my Design in this Paper to deliver down to
Posterity a faithful Account of the Italian Opera,
and of the gradual Progress which it has made upon the
English Stages for there is no question but our great
Grand-children will be very curious to know the Reason
why their Forefathers used to sit together like an
Audience of Foreigners in their own Country, and to
hear whole Plays acted before them in a Tongue which
they did not understand,
Arsinoe was the first Opera that gave us a Taste of
Italian Musick. The great Success this Opera met with,
produced some Attempts of forming Pieces upon Italian
Plans, which should give a more natural and reasonable
Entertainment than what can be met with in the elaborate
Trifles of that Nation, This alarmed the Poetasters and
Fidlers of the Town, who were used to deal in a more
ordinary kind of Ware; and therefore laid down an
established Rule, which is received as such to this Day,
That nothing is capable of being well set to Musick,
that is not Nonsense,
This Maxim was no sooner received, but we immediately fell to translating the Italian Operas and as there
was no great Danger of hurting the Sense of those
extraordinary Pieces, our Authors would often make
Words




THE SPECTATOR


69


Words of their own which were entirely foreign to the No, 18.
Meaning of the Passages they pretended to translate Wednes,
their chief Care being to make the Numbers of the dayh
March 21,
English Verse answer to those of the Italian, that both 1711,
of them might go to the same Tune, Thus the famous
Song in Camilla,
Barbara si t'intendo &c,
Barbarous Woman, yes, I know your Meaning,
which expresses the Resentments of an angry Lover,
was translated into that English Lamentation,
Frail are a Lover's Hopes &c,
And it was pleasant enough to see the most refined
Persons of the British Nation dying away and languish,
ing to Notes that were filled with a Spirit of Rage and
Indignation, It happened also very frequently, where
the Sense was rightly translated, the necessary Trans,
position of Words, which were drawn out of the Phrase
of one Tongue into that of another, made the Musick
appear very absurd in one Tongue that was very natural
in the other, I remember an Italian Verse that ran
thus Word for Word,
And turn'd my Rage into Pity
which the English for Rhime sake translated,
And into Pity turn'd my Rage,
By this means the soft Notes that were adapted to Pity
in the Italian, fell upon the Word Rage in the English;
and the angry Sounds that were tuned to Rage in the
Original, were made to express Pity in the Translation,
It oftentimes happened likewise, that the finest Notes in
the Air fell upon the most insignificant Words in the
Sentence, I have known the Word And pursued through
the whole Gamut, have been entertained with many a
melodious The, and have heard the most beautiful Graces,
Quavers, and Divisions bestowed upon Then, For, and
From; to the eternal Honour of our English Particles,
The next Step to our Refinement was the introducing
of Italian Actors into our Opera; who sung their Parts
in their own Language, at the same time that our
Countrymen




70


THE SPECTATOR


Io, 18,  Countrymen performed theirs in our native Tongue,
redness The King or Hero of the Play generally spoke in Italian,
lay'    and his Slaves answered him in English   The Lover
71h 1   frequently made his Court, and gained the Heart of his
Princess, in a Language which she did not understand,
One would have thought it very difficult to have carried
on Dialogues after this manner, without an Interpreter
between the Persons that convers'd together; but this
was the State of the English Stage for about three Years,
At length the Audience grew tired of understanding
Half the Opera, and therefore to ease themselves intirely
of the Fatigue of Thinking, have so ordered it at present,
that the whole Opera is performed in an unknown
Tongue, We no longer understand the Language of
our own Stage; insomuch that I have often been afraid,
when I have seen our Italian Performers chattering in
the Vehemence of Action, that they have been calling
us Names, and abusing us among themselves; but I
hope, since we do put such an entire Confidence in
them, they will not talk against us before our Faces,
though they may do it with the same Safety as if it
were behind our Backs, In the mean time, I cannot
forbear thinking how naturally an Historian who writes
two or three hundred Years hence, and does not know
the Taste of his wise Forefathers, will make the following
Reflection, In the Beginning of the Eighteenth Century
the Italian Tongue was so well understood in England,
that Operas were acted on the publick Stage in that
Language,
One scarce knows how to be serious in the Confutation
of an Absurdity that shews it self at the first Sight, It
does not want any great measure of Sense to see the
Ridicule of this monstrous Practice; but what makes it
the more astonishing, it is not the Taste of the Rabble,
but of Persons of the greatest Politeness, which has
established it,
If the Italians have a Genius for Musick above the
English, the English have a Genius for other Performances
of a much higher Nature, and capable of giving the
Mind a much nobler Entertainment   Would one think
it was possible (at a Time when an Author lived that was
able




THE SPECTATOR


71


able to write the Phaedra and Hippolitus) for a People to No, 18.
be so stupidly fond of the Italian Opera, as scarce to Wednes
give a third Day's Hearing to that admirable Tragedy I    2dy,
Musick is certainly a very agreeable Entertainment, but 1711,
if it would take the entire Possession of our Ears, if it
would make us incapable of hearing Sense, if it would
exclude Arts that have a much greater Tendency to the
Refinement of Human Nature; I must confess I would
allow it no better Quarter than Plato has done, who
banishes it out of his Common-wealth,
At present, our Notions of Musick are so very
uncertain, that we do  not know what it is we like;
only, in general, we are transported with any thing that
is not English% So it be of foreign Growth, let it be
Italian, French, or High-Dutch, it is the same thing.
In short, our English Musick is quite rooted out, and
nothing yet planted in its stead,
When a Royal Palace is burnt to the Ground, every
Man is at liberty to present his Plan for a new one; and
though it be but indifferently put together, it may furnish
several Hints that may be of Use to a good Architect, I
shall take the same Liberty in a following Paper, of giving
my Opinion upon the Subject of Musick; which I shall
lay down only in a problematical Manner, to be con,
sidered by those who are Masters in the Art,      C
No, 19,
[STEELE.]                         Thursday, March 22.
Di bene fecerunt, iaopis me quodque pusilli
Finxerunt animi, raro & perpauca loquentis —Hor,
(   BSERVING one Person behold another, who was an
utter Stranger to him, with a Cast of his Eye,
which, methought, expressed an Emotion of Heart very
different from what could be raised by an Object so agrees
able as the Gentleman he looked at, I began to consider,
not without some secret Sorrow, the Condition of an
Envious Man. Some have fancied that Envy has a cer,
tain Magical Force in it, and that the Eyes of the Envious
have by their Fascination blasted the Enjoyments of
the Happy, Sir Francis Bacon says, Some have been so
curious




72


THE SPECTATOR


No. 19.  curious as to remark the Times and Seasons when the
Thursda, Stroke of an envious Eye is most effectually pernicious,
March 22, and have observed that it has been when the Person
envied has been in any Circumstance of Glory and
Triumph, At such a time the Mind of the prosperous
Man goes, as it were, abroad, among things without him,
and is more exposed to the Malignity, But I shall not
dwell upon Speculations so abstracted as this, or repeat
the many excellent Things which one might collect out
of Authors upon this miserable Affection; but keeping in
the Road of common Life, consider the Envious Man with
relation to these three Heads, His Pains, His Reliefs, and
His Happiness,
The Envious Man is in Pain upon all Occasions which
ought to give him Pleasure. The Relish of his Life is
inverted; and the Objects which administer the highest
Satisfaction to those who are exempt from this Passion,
give the quickest Pangs to Persons who are subject to it,
All the Perfections of their FellowCreatures are odious.
Youth, Beauty, Valour and Wisdom are Provocations of
their Displeasure, What a Wretched and Apostate State
is thisl To be offended with Excellence, and to hate
a Man because we approve him I The Condition of the
Envious Man is the most emphatically miserable; he is
not only incapable of rejoicing in another's Merit or
Success, but lives in a World wherein all Mankind are in
a Plot against his Quiet, by studying their own Happiness
and Advantage. WilL Prosper is an honest Tale-bearer,
he makes it his Business to join in Conversation with
Envious Men, He points to such an handsom young
Fellow, and whispers that he is secretly married to a great
Fortunes When they doubt, he adds Circumstances to
prove it; and never fails to aggravate their Distress, by
assuring 'em, that to his Knowledge he has an Uncle
will leave him some Thousands, Will, has many Arts
of this kind to torture this sort of Temper, and delights
in it. When he finds them    change Colour, and say
faintly they wish such a Piece of News is true, he has
the Malice to speak some good or other of every Man
of their Acquaintance.
The Reliefs of the Envious Man are those little
Blemishes




THE SPECTATOR


73


Blemishes and Imperfections that discover themselves in No, 19.
an Illustrious Character, It is a matter of great Consolae Thursday,
tion to an Envious Person, when a Man of known Mach 22,
1711.
Honour does a thing unworthy himself, Or when any
Action which was well executed, upon better Information appears so altered in its Circumstances, that the
Fame of it is divided among many, instead of being
attributed to One, This is a secret Satisfaction to these
Malignants; for the Person whom they before could not
but admire, they fancy is nearer their own Condition as
soon as his Merit is shared among others, I remember
some Years ago there came out an excellent Poem
without the Name of the Author, The little Wits, who
were incapable of Writing it, began to pull in Pieces
the supposed Writer,  When that would not do, they
took great Pains to suppress the Opinion that it was his,
That again failed, The next Refuge was to say it was
overlooked by one Man, and many Pages wholly written
by another, An honest Fellow, who sate among a Cluster
of them in debate on this Subject, cryed out, Gentlemen,
if you are sure none of you your selves had an hand
in it, you are but where you were, whoever writ it,
But the most usual Succour to the Envious, in cases of
nameless Merit in this kind, is to keep the Property,
if possible, unfixed, and by that means to hinder the
Reputation of it from falling upon any particular Person,
You see an Envious Man clear up his Countenance, if in
the Relation of any Man's Great Happiness in one Point,
you mention his Uneasiness in another, When he hears
such a one is very rich he turns Pale, but recovers when
you add that he has many Children, In a word, the
only sure Way to an Envious Man's Favour, is not
to deserve it,
But if we consider the Envious Man in Delight, it is
like reading the Seat of a Giant in a Romance; the
Magnificence of his House consists in the many Limbs
of Men whom    he has slain,  If any who promised
themselves Success in any Uncommon Undertaking
miscarry in the Attempt, or he that aimed at what
would have been Useful and Laudable, meets with Contempt and Derision, the Envious Man, under the Colour
of




74


THE SPECTATOR


No. 19.  of hating Vainrglory, can smile with an inward WantonThursday, ness of Heart at the ill Effect it may have upon an honest
March 22, Ambition for the future,
Having thoroughly considered the Nature of this
Passion, I have made it my Study how to avoid the
Envy that may accrue to me from these my Speculations;
and if I am not mistaken in my self, I think I have a
Genius to escape it, Upon hearing in a Coffeehouse one
of my Papers commended, I immediately apprehended the
Envy that would spring from that Applause; and there,
fore gave a Description of my Face the next Day; being
resolved, as I grow in Reputation for Wit, to resign my
Pretensions to Beauty,  This, I hope, may give some
Ease to those unhappy Gentlemen, who do me the
Honour to torment themselves upon the Account of this
my Paper, As their Case is very deplorable, and
deserves Compassion, I shall sometimes be dull, in Pity to
them, and will from time to time administer Consolations
to them by further Discoveries of my Person, In the
mean while, if any one says the SPECTATOR has Wit, it
may be some Relief to them, to think that he does not
shew it in Company, And if any one praises his
Morality, they may comfort themselves by considering
that his Face is none of the longest,             R
No. 20,
[STEELE,]                          Friday, March 23.
-   Kvv6s 6camTr' XOwv ---Hom.
A MONG the other hardy Undertakings which I
have proposed to myself, that of the Correction of Impudence is what I have     very much at
Heart, This in a particular Manner is my Province
as SPECTATOR; for it is generally an Offence committed
by the Eyes, and that against such as the Offenders
would perhaps never have an Opportunity of injuring
any other Way,   The following Letter is a Complaint
of a young Lady, who sets forth a Trespass of this
kind, with that Command of herself as befits Beauty
and Innocence, and yet with so much Spirit as
sufficiently  expresses her Indignation,  The whole
Transaction




THE SPECTATOR


75


Transaction  is performed with the Eyes    and  the No. 20.
Crime is no less than employing them      in such a Friday
Manner, as to divert the Eyes of others from the best Mrh 23,
Use they can make of them, even looking       up to
Heaven,
'Sir,
There never was (I believe) an acceptable Man,
but had some awkard Imitators,      Ever since the
SPECTATOR appeared, have I remarked a kind of Men,
whom   I chuse to   call Starers; that without any
regard to Time, Place, or Modesty, disturb large
Company    with their impertinent Eyes,    Spectators
make up a proper Assembly for a Puppet-Show or a
Bear - Garden; but devout Supplicants and   attentive
Hearers are the Audience one ought to expect in
Churches.   I am, Sir, Member of a small pious
Congregation near one of the North Gates of this City;
much the greater Part of us indeed are females, and
used to behave ourselves in a regular attentive Manner,
till very lately one whole Isle has been disturbed with
one of these monstrous Starers; He's the Head taller
than any one in the Church; but for the greater
Advantage of exposing himself, stands upon a Hassock,
and commands the whole Congregation, to the great
Annoyance of the devoutest Part of the Auditory; for
what with Blushing, Confusion, and Vexation, we can
neither mind the Prayers nor Sermon, Your Animad,
version upon this Insolence would be a great Favour to,
Sir,
Your most humble Servant,
S. C,'
I have frequently seen of this sort of Fellows; and do
not think there can be a greater Aggravation of an
Offence, than that it is committed where the Criminal
is protected by the Sacredness of the Place which he
violates, Many Reflections of this sort might be very
justly made upon this kind of Behaviour, but a Starer
is not usually a Person to be convinced by the Reason
of the thing; and a Fellow that is capable of shewing
an impudent Front before a whole Congregation, and
can




76


THE SPECTATOR


No. 20.  can bear being a publick Spectacle, is not so easily
Fiday,  rebuked as to amend by Admonitions,      If therefore
March 2 my Correspondent does not inform    me, that within
seven Days after this Date the Barbarian does not at
least stand  upon his own Legs only, without an
Eminence, my friend Will, Prosper has promised to
take an Hassock opposite to him, and stare against him
in Defence of the Ldies,  I have given him Directions,
according to the most exact Rules of Opticks, to place
himself in such a manner that he shall meet his Eyes
where-ever he throws them: I have Hopes that when
Will, confronts him, and all the Ladies, in whose Behalf
he engages him, cast kind Looks and Wishes of Success
at their Champion, he will have some Shame, and feel
a little of the Pain he has so often put others to, of
being out of Countenance,
It has indeed been Time out of Mind generally
remarked, and as often lamented, that this Family of
Starers have infested Publick Assemblies% And I know
no other Way to obviate so great an Evil, except, in
the Case of fixing their Eyes upon Women, some Male
Friend will take the Part of such as are under the
Oppression of Impudence, and encounter the Eyes of
the Starers where-ever they meet them,    While we
suffer our Women to be thus impudently attacked, they
have no Defence, but in the End to cast yielding
Glances at the Starers  And in this Case, a Man who
has no Sense of Shame has the same Advantage over
his Mistress, as he who has no regard for his own Life
has over his Adversary,  While the Generality of the
World are fettered by Rules, and move by proper and
just Methods; he who has no Respect to any of them,
carries away the Reward due to that Propriety of
Behaviour, with no other Merit, but that of having
neglected it,
r take an impudent Fellow to be a sort of Outlaw in
Good-breeding, and therefore what is said of him no
Nation or Ierson can be concerned for,     For this
Reason, one may be free upon him, I have put myself
to great Pains in considering this prevailing Quality
which we call Impudence, and have taken notice that
it




THE SPECTATOR


77


it exerts it self in a different Manner, according to the No. 20.
different Soils wherein such Subjects of these Dominions, Friday9
as are Masters of it, were born,  Impudence in an March 23
Englishman is sullen and insolent; in a Scotch-man it 1711
is untractable and rapacious; in an Irish-man absurd and
fawning  As the Course of the World now runs, the
impudent Englishman behaves like a surly Landlord, the
Scot like an illreceived Guest, and the Irish-man like
a Stranger who knows he is not welcome, There is
seldom any thing entertaining either in the Impudence
of a South or North Briton  but that of an Irish-man is
always Comick: A true and genuine Impudence is ever
the Effect of Ignorance, without the least Sense of its
The best and most successful Starers now in this Town,
are of that Nation; they have usually the Advantage
of the Stature mentioned in the above Letter of my
Correspondent, and generally take their Stands in the
Eye of Women of Fortune       Insomuch that I have
known one of them, three Months after he came from
Plough, with a tolerable good Air lead out a Woman
from a Play, which one of our own Breed, after four
Years at Oxford, and two at the Temple, would have
been afraid to look at,
I cannot tell how to account for it, but these People
have usually the Preference to our own Fools, in the
Opinion of the sillier Part of Womankind,  Perhaps it
is that an English Coxcomb is seldom  so obsequious
as an Irish one; and when the Design of pleasing is
visible, an Absurdity in the Way toward it is easily
forgiveno
But those who are downright impudent, and go on
without Reflection that they are such, are more to be
tolerated, than a Set of Fellows among us who profess
Impudence with an Air of Humour, and think to
carry off the most inexcusable of all Faults in the
World, with no other Apology than saying in a gay
Tone, I put an impudent Face upon the Matter, No;
no Man shall be allowed the Advantages of Impudence,
who is conscious that he is such  If he knows he is
impudent, he may as well be otherwise; and it shall
be expected that he blush, when he sees he makes
another




78             THE SPECTATOR
No, 20,  another do it  For nothing can attone for the Want
Friday,  of Modesty; without which Beauty is ungraceful, and
Marcn 23, Wit detestable,
1711,
No, 21,
[ADDISON,]                         Saturday, March 24,
--- Locus est & pluribus umbris,-Hor,
AM   sometimes very much troubled, when I reflect
upon the three great Professions of Divinity, Law,
and  Physick;   how  they  are each of them     over,
burdened with Practitioners, and filled with multitudes
of Ingenious Gentlemen that starve one another,
We may divide the Clergy into Generals, FieldOfficers,
and Subalterns,   Among the first we may reckon
Bishops, Deans and ArchDeacons, Among the second
are Doctors of Divinity, Prebendaries, and all that wear
Scarfs, The rest are comprehended under the Subalterns,
As for the first Class, our Constitution preserves it from
any redundancy of Incumbents, notwithstanding Comr
petitors are numberless, Upon a strict Calculation, it
is found that there has been a great Exceeding of late
Years in the second Division, several Brevets having
been granted for the converting of Subalterns into
ScarfOfficerss insomuch that within my Memory the
Price of Lutestring is raised above two Pence in a Yard,
As for the Subalterns they are not to be numbred,
Should our Clergy once enter into the corrupt Practice
of the Laity, by the splitting of their Freeholds, they
would be able to carry most of the Elections in England,
The Body of the Law is no less incumbered with
superfluous Members, that are like Virgil's Army, which
he tells us was so crouded, many of them had not Room
to use their Weapons, This prodigious Society of Men
may be divided into the Litigious and Peaceable, Under
the first are comprehended all those who are carried
down   in   Coach-fulls to  WestminstereHall,  every
Morning in Termtime, Martial's Description of this
Species of Lawyers is full of Humours


Iras & verba locant,


Men




THE SPECTATOR


79


Men that hire out their Words and Anger that are more No. 21,
or less passionate according as they are paid for it, and Saturday,
allow their Client a quantity of Wrath proportionable Mc71a4
to the Fee which they receive from    him,   I must
however observe to the Reader, that above three Parts
of those whom I reckon among the Litigious, are such
as are only quarrelsome in their Hearts, and have no
Opportunity of shewing their Passion at the Bar, Nevertheless, as they do not know what Strifes may arise,
they appear at the Hall every Day, that they may show
themselves in a Readiness to enter the Lists, whenever
there shall be Occasion for them,
The Peaceable Lawyers are, in the first place, many
of the Benchers of the several Inns of Court, who seem
to be the Dignitaries of the Law, and are endowed with
those Qualifications of Mind that accomplish a Man
rather for a Ruler, than a Pleader,  These Men live
peaceably in their Habitations, Eating once a Day, and
Dancing once a Year, for the Honour of their respective
Societies.
Another numberless Branch of Peaceable Lawyers,
are those young Men who being placed at the Inns of
Court in order to study the Laws of their Country,
frequent the Play-house more than Westminster-Hall,
and are seen in all publick Assemblies, except in a Court
of Justice, I shall say nothing of those Silent and Busie
Multitudes that are employed within Doors' in the
drawing up of Writings and Conveyances; nor of those
greater Numbers that palliate their want of Business
with a Pretence to such Chamber-practice,
If, in the third place, we look into the Profession of
Physick, we shall find a most formidable Body of Men
The Sight of them is enough to make a Man serious,
for we may lay it down as a Maxim, that when a Nation
abounds in Physicians it grows thin of People, Sir
William  Temple is very much puzzled to find out
a Reason why the Northern Hive, as he calls it, does
not send out such prodigious Swarms, and over-run the
World with Goths and Vandals, as it did formerly  but
had that excellent Author observed that there were no
Students in Physick among the Subjects of Thor and
Woden




80


THE SPECTATOR


-No,21    Woden, and that this Science very much flourishes in
Saturday, the North at present, he might have found a better
March 2, Solution for this Difficulty, than any of those he has
made use of, This Body of Men, in our own Country,
may be described like the British Army in Caesar's
time r Some of them slay in Chariots, and some on Foot,
If the Infantry do less Execution than the Charioteers,
it is because they cannot be carried so soon into all
Quarters of the Town, and dispatch so much Business
in so short a Time, Besides this Body of Regular Troops,
there are Stragglers, who without being duly listed and
enrolled, do infinite Mischief to those who are so unlucky
as to fall into their Hands,
There are, besides the above-mentioned, innumerable
Retainers to Physick, who, for want of other Patients,
amuse themselves with the stifling of Cats in an Air
Pump, cutting up Dogs alive, or impaling of Insects
upon the Point of a Needle for Microscopical Observa,
tions; besides those that are employed in the gathering
of Weeds, and the Chace of Butterfliess Not to mention
the Cockleshell-Merchants and Spidercatchers,
When I consider how each of these Professions are
crouded with Multitudes that seek their Livelihood in
them, and how many Men of Merit there are in each
of them, who may be rather said to be of the Science,
than the Profession; I very much wonder at the humour
of Parents, who will not rather chuse to place their
Sons in a way of Life where an honest Industry cannot
but thrive, than in Stations where the greatest Probity,
Learning, and Good Sense may miscarry. How many
Men are CountryCurates, that might have made themselves Aldermen of London, by a right Improvement
of a smaller Sum of Mony than what is usually laid
out upon a learned Education? A sober, frugal Person,
of slender Parts and a slow Apprehension, might have
thrived in Trade, though he starves upon Physick; as a
Man would be well enough pleased to buy Silks of one,
whom he would not venture to feel his Pulse, Vagellius
is careful, studious and obliging, but withal a little thickskull'd he has not a single Client, but might have
had abundance of Customers, The Misfortune is, that
Parents




THE SPECTATOR


81


Parents take a liking to a particular Profession, and No. 21
therefore desire their Sons may be of it, Whereas, in Saturday,
so great an Affair of Life, they should consider the Genius March 4,
and Abilities of their Children, more than their own
Inclinations,
It is the great Advantage of a trading Nation, that
there are very few in it so dull and heavy, who may
not be placed in Stations of Life which may give them
an Opportunity of making their Fortunes. A wellregulated Commerce is not, like Law, Physick, or
Divinity, to be overstocked with Hands; but, on the
contrary, flourishes by Multitudes, and gives Employs
ment to all its Professors.  Fleets of Merchantmen
are so many Squadrons of floating Shops, that vend
our Wares and Manufactures in all the Markets of
the World, and find out Chapmen under both the
Tropicks.                                         C
No, 22,
[STEELE.]                         Monday, March 26.
Quodcunque ostendis mihi sic, incredulus odi,-Hor,
T   HE Word SPECrATOR being most usually understood
as one of the Audience at publick Representations
in our Theatres, I seldom fail of many Letters relating
to Plays and Operas.    But indeed there are such
monstrous things done in both, that if one had not
been an Eyewitness of them, one could not believe
that such Matters had really been exhibited.  There
is very little which concerns Human Life, or is a
Picture of Nature that is regarded by the greater Part
of the Company. The Understanding is dismissed from
our Entertainments.  Our Mirth is the Laughter of
Fools, and our Admiration the Wonder of Idiots; else
such improbable, monstrous, and incoherent Dreams
could not go off as they do, not only without the utmost
Scorn and Contempt, but even with the loudest Applause
and Approbation. But the Letters of my Correspondents
will represent this Affair in a more lively manner than
any Discourse of my own; I shall therefore give them
to my Reader with only this Preparation, that they all
F                     come




82


THE SPECTATOR


]No, 22,  come from  Players, and that the Business of Playing
]Monday is now so managed, that you are not to be surprised
]March 26 when I say one or two of them   are rational, others
sensitive  and vegetative Actors, and others wholly
inanimate,  I shall not place these as I have named
them, but as they have Precedence in the Opinion of
their Audiences,
'Mr, SPECrATOR,
Your having been so humble as to take notice of
the Epistles of other Animals, emboldens me, who am
the wild Boar that was killed by Mrs, Tofts, to re,
present to you, That I think I was hardly used in not
having the Part of the Lion in Hydaspes given to me,
It would have been but a natural Step for me to have
personated that noble Creature, after having behaved
my self to Satisfaction in the Part abovementioned:
But that of a Lion is too great a Character for one
that never trod the Stage before but upon two Legs,
As for the little Resistance which I made, I hope it
may be excused, when it is considered that the Dart
was thrown at me by so fair an Hand, I must con,
fess I had but just put on my Brutality; and Camilla's
Charms were such, that beholding her erect Mien,
hearing her charming Voice, and astonished with her
graceful Motion, I could not keep up to my assumed
Fierceness, but died like a Man,
I am, Sir,
Your most humble Servant,
Thomas Prone,'
'Mr, SPECrATOR,
This is to let you understand, that the Play-house
is a Representation of the World in nothing so much
as in this Particular, that no one rises in it according
to his Merit I have acted several Parts of Housholdstuff with great Applause for many Yearss I am  one
of the Men in the Hangings in the Emperor of
the Moon; I have twice performed the third Chair in
an English Opera; and have rehearsed the Pump in
the Fortune Hunters, I am now grown old, and hope
you will recommend me so effectually, as that I may
say




THE SPECTATOR


83


say something before I go off the Stages In which No, 22.
you will do a great Act of Charity to                Monday,
Your most humble Servant,         arch 2
William Screne, 1711
'Mr. SPECTATOR,
Understanding that Mr, Screne has writ to you, and
desired to be raised from dumb and still Parts; I desire,
if you give him Motion or Speech, that you would
advance me in my Way, and let me keep on in what
I humbly presume I am a Master, to wit, in representing  human  and   still Life together,  I have
several times acted one of the finest Flower-pots in
the same Opera wherein Mr, Screne is a Chair, therefore upon his Promotion, request that I may succeed him
in the Hangings, with my Hand in the OrangeTrees.
Your humble Servant,
Ralph Simple.'
'Sir,              DruryLane, March 24, 171~
I saw your Friend the Templer this Evening in
the Pit, and thought he looked very little pleased with
the Representation of the mad Scene of the Pilgrim, I
wish, Sir, you would do us the Favour to animadvert
frequently upon the false Taste the Town is in, with
Relation to Plays as well as Operas.     It certainly
requires a Degree of Understanding to play justly; but
such is our Condition, that we are to suspend our
Reason to perform our Parts, As to Scenes of Mad,
ness, you know, Sir, there are noble Instances of this
Kind in Shakespeare but then it is the Disturbance of
a noble Mind, from generous and human Resentmentss
It is like that Grief which we have for the Decease
of our Friends: It is no Diminution, but a Recom,
mendation of human Nature, that in such Incidents
Passion gets the better of Reason; and all we can
think to comfort our selves, is impotent against half
what we feel I will not mention that we had an
Idiot in the Scene, and all the Sense it is represented
to have, is that of Lust  As for my self, who have
long taken Pains in personating the Passions, I have
to Night acted only an Appetites The Part I pla'd is
Thirst




84


THE SPECTATOR


jlo, 22,  Thirst, but it is represented as written rather by a
]Ionday, Draysman than a Poet   I come in with a Tub about
4arc h 26' me, that Tub hung with Quartpots, with a full Gallon
at my Mouth, I am ashamed to tell you that I pleased
very much, and this was introduced as a Madness;
but sure it was not human Madness, for a Mule or an
Ass may have been as dry as ever I was in my Life,
I am, Sir,
Your most obedient
and humble Servant,'
'Mr. SPECTATOR,  From the Savoy in the Strand,
If you can read it with dry Eyes, I give you this
Trouble to acquaint you, that I am the unfortunate King
Latinus, and believe I am the first Prince that dated
from  this Palace since John of Gaunt,  Such is the
Uncertainty of all human Greatness, that I who lately
never moved without a Guard, am now pressed as a
common Soldier, and am to sail with the first fair Wind
against my Brother Lewis of France,    It is a very
hard thing to put off a Character which one has
appeared in with Applause   This I experienced since
the loss of my Diadem; for upon quarrelling with
another Recruit, I spoke my Indignation out of my Part
in recitativo;
i — -   -- Most audacious Slave,
Dar'sf thou an angry Monarch's Fury brave
The Words were no sooner out of my Mouth, when
a Serjeant knock'd me down, and asked me if I had a
Mind to mutiny, in talking things no body understood,
You see, Sir, my unhappy Circumstances; and if by
your Mediation you can procure a Subsidy for a Prince
(who never failed to make all that beheld him  merry
at his Appearance) you will merit the Thanks of
Your Friend,
The King of Latium,
ADVERTISEMENT.
For the Good of the Publick,
Within two Doors of the Masquerade, lives an
eminent Italian Chirurgeon, arrived from the Carnaval
at




THE SPECTATOR


85


at Venice, of great Experience in private Cures,  Ac- No, 22,
commodations are provided, and Persons admitted in Monday I
their Masquing Habits,                               March 26f
1711,
He has cured since his coming thither, in less than a
Fortnight, Four Scaramouches, a Mountebank Doctor,
Two Turkish Bassas, three Nuns, and a Morris Dancer,
Venienti occurrite Morbo,
N,B, Any Person may agree by the Great, and be
kept in Repair by the Year, The Doctor draws Teeth
without pulling off your Mask,                     R
No, 23.
[ADDISON,]                         Tuesday, March 27.
Saevit atrox Volscens, nec tel conspicit usquam
Auctorem, nec quo se ardens immiftere possit,-Virg,
T    HERE is nothing that more betrays a base un.
generous Spirit, than the giving of secret Stabs
to a Man's Reputation, Lampoons and Satyrs, that are
written with Wit and Spirit, are like poisoned Darts,
which not only inflict a Wound, but make it incurable.
For this Reason I am very much troubled when I see
the Talents of Humour and Ridicule in the Possession
of an ill-natured Man.   There cannot be a greater
Gratification to a barbarous and inhuman Wit, than to
stir up Sorrow in the Heart of a private Person, to
raise Uneasiness among near Relations, and to expose
whole Families to Derision, at the same time that he
remains unseen    and undiscovered.  If, besides the
Accomplishments of being witty and illnatured, a Man
is vicious into the bargain, he is one of the most
mischievous Creatures that can enter into a Civil
Society. His Satyr will then chiefly fall upon those
who ought to be the most exempt from     it   Virtue,
Merit, and every thing that is Praise-worthy, will be
made the Subject of Ridicule and Buffoonry.     It is
impossible to enumerate the Evils which arise from
these Arrows that fly in the dark, and I know no
other Excuse that is or can be made for them, than
that the Wounds they give are only imaginary, and
produce




86             THE SPECTATOR
JNo,23,  produce nothin  more than a secret Shame or Sorrow
lTuesday, in the Mind of the suffering Person,  It must indeed
March 27, be confess'd, that a Lampoon or Satyr do not carry in
them Robbery or Murder; but at the same time, how
many are there that would not rather lose a consider,
able Sum  of Mony, or even Life it self, than be set
up as a Mark of Infamy and Derision     And in this
Case a Man should consider, that an Injury is not to
be measured by the Notions of him that gives, but of
him that receives it,
Those who can put the best Countenance upon the
Outrages of this nature which are offered them, are
not without their secret Anguish, I have often observed
a Passage in Socrates's Behaviour at his Death, in a Light
wherein none of the Criticks have considered it That
excellent Man, entertaining his Friends, a little before
he drank the Bowl of Poison, with a Discourse on the
Immortality of the Soul, at his entering upon it says, that
he does not believe any the most Comick Genius can
censure him for talking upon such a Subject at such
a time, This Passage, I think, evidently glances upon
Aristophanes, who writ a Comedy on purpose to ridicule
the Discourses of that Divine Philosopher, It has been
observed by many Writers, that Socrates was so little
moved at this piece of Buffoonry, that he was several
times present at its being acted upon the Stage, and never
expressed the least Resentment of it But with Submission, I think the Remark I have here made shews us that
this unworthy Treatment made an Impression upon his
Mind, though he had been too wise to discover it,
When Julius Caesar was lampooned by Catullus, he
invited him to a Supper, and treated him  with such a
generous Civility, that he made the Poet his Friend ever
after, Cardinal Mazarine gave the same kind of Treat,
ment to the Learned Quillet, who had reflected upon
his Eminence in a famous Latin Poem, The Cardinal
sent for him, and after some kind Expostulations upon
what he had written, assured him  of his Esteem, and
dismissed him with a Promise of the next good Abby that
should fall, which he accordingly conferred upon him in
a few Months after, This had so good an Effect upon
the




THE SPECTATOR


87


the Author, that he dedicated the second Edition of his No, 23,
Book to the Cardinal, after having expunged the Passages Tuesda
which had given him offence,                        Mtch7f
Sextus Quintus was not of so generous and forgiving
a Temper,   Upon his being made Pope, the Statue of
Pasquin was one Night dressed in a very dirty Shirt, with
an Excuse written under it, that he was forced to wear
foul Linnen because his Laundress was made a Princess,
This was a Reflection upon the Pope's Sister, who, before
the Promotion of her Brother, was in those mean
Circumstances that Pasquin represented her,  As this
Pasquinade made a great Noise in Rome, the Pope offered
a considerable Sum of Mony to any Person that should
discover the Author of it The Author relying upon his
Holiness's Generosity, as also on some private Overtures
which he had received from him, made the Discovery
himself; upon which the Pope gave him the Reward he
had promised, but at the same time, to disable the Satyrist
for the future, ordered his Tongue to be cut out, and both
his Hands to be chopped off, Aretine is too trite an
Instance, Every one knows that all the Kings in Europe
were his Tributaries, Nay, there is a Letter of his extant,
in which he makes his Boasts that he had laid the Sophy
of Persia under Contribution,
Though in the various Examples which I have here
drawn together, these several great Men behaved themselves very differently towards the Wits of the Age who
had reproached them  they all of them plainly shewed
that they were very sensible of their Reproaches, and
consequently that they received them  as very great
Injuries, For my own part, I would never trust a Man
that I thought was capable of giving these secret Wounds;
and cannot but think that he would hurt the Person,
whose Reputation he thus assaults, in his Body or in his
Fortune, could he do it with the same Security, There
is indeed something very barbarous and inhuman in the
ordinary Scriblers of Lampoons, An innocent young
Lady shall be exposed, for an unhappy Feature, A
Father of a Family turned to Ridicule, for some domestick Calamity,  A Wife be made uneasie all her Life,
for a misinterpreted Word or Action, Nay, a good, a
temperate




88


THE SPECTATOR


No, 23,  temperate, and a just Man, shall be put out of Counten,
Tuesday, ance, by the Representation of those Qualities that should
lMarch 7, do him Honour, So pernicious a thing is Wit, when it is
not tempered with Virtue and Humanity,
I have indeed heard of heedless inconsiderate Writers,
that without any Malice have sacrificed the Reputation
of their Friends and Acquaintance, to a certain Levity of
Temper, and a silly Ambition of distinguishing themselves by a Spirit of Raillery and Satyr s As if it were not
infinitely more honourable to be a goodnatured Man,
than a Wit   Where there is this little petulant Humour
in an Author, he is often very mischievous without
designing to be so, For which Reason I always lay it
down as a Rule, that an indiscreet Man is more hurtful
than an ill-natured one; for as the former will only
attack his Enemies, and those he wishes ill to, the other
injures indifferently both Friends and Foes, I cannot
forbear, on this Occasion, transcribing a Fable out of
Sir Roger l'Estrange, which accidentally lyes before me,
'A Company of waggish Boys were watching of Frogs
at the side of a Pond, and still as any of 'em put up their
Heads, they'd be pelting them down again with Stones,
Children (says one of the Frogs) you never consider
that tho' this may be Play to you, 'tls Death to us,'
As this Week is in a manner set apart and dedicated
to Serious Thoughts, I shall indulge my self in such
Speculations as may not be altogether unsuitable to the
Season; and in the mean time, as the settling in our
selves a Charitable Frame of Mind is a Work very proper
for the Time, I have in this Paper endeavoured to expose
that particular Breach of Charity which has been gener,
ally overlooked by Divines, because they are but few who
can be guilty of it,                               C
No, 24,
[STEELE,]                       Wednesday, March 28,
Accurrit quidam, notus mih nomine tantum,
Arreptaque manu, Quid agis, dulcissime rerum — Hor,
T    HERE are in this Town a great Number of insignia
ficant People, who are by no Means fit for the
better sort of Conversation, and yet have an impertinent
Ambition




THE SPECTATOR


89


Ambition of appearing with those to whom they are not No, 24,
welcome, If you walk in the Park, one of them will Wednes"
certainly join with you, tho' you are in Company with day,
March 28,
Ladies; if you drink a Bottle, they will find your Haunts, 1711,
What makes such Fellows the more burdensome, is, that
they neither offend nor please so far as to be taken Notice
of for either, It is, I presume, for this Reason that my
Correspondents are willing by my Means to be rid of
them, The two following Letters are writ by Persons
who suffer by such    Impertinence,  A  worthy old
Batchelor, who sets in for his Dose of Claret every
Night at such an Hour, is teized by a Swarm of them;
who, because they are sure of Room and good Fire, have
taken it in their Heads to keep a sort of Club in his
Company; tho' the sober Gentleman himself is an utter
Enemy to such Meetings,
'Mr, SPECTATOR,
The Aversion I for some Years have had to Clubs
in general, gave me a perfect Relish for your Speculation
on that Subject; but I have since been extreamly morti,
fled, by the malicious World's ranking me amongst the
Supporters of such impertinent Assemblies, I beg leave
to state my Case fairly; and that done, I shall expect
Redress from your judicious Pen,
I am, Sir, a Batchelor of some standing, and a
Travelleri my Business, to consult my own Humour,
which I gratifie without controlling other People's; I have
a Room and a whole Bed to my self; and I have a Dog,
a Fiddle, and a Gun; they please me, and injure no
Creature alive, My chief Meal is a Supper, which I
always make at a Tavern, I am constant to an Hour,
and not illhumour'd; for which Reasons, tho' I invite
no Body, I have no sooner supp'd, than I have a Crowd
about me of that sort of good Company that know not
whither else to go,  It is true every Man pays his
Share; yet as they are Intruders, I have an undoubted
Right to be the only Speaker, or at least the loudest;
which I maintain, and that to the great Emolument
of my Audience, I sometimes tell them their own in
pretty free Language; and sometimes divert them with
merry




90


THE SPECTATOR


No, 24,  merry Tales, according as I am  in Humour,    I am
Wednesv one of those who live in Taverns to a great Age, by a
Mych 28 sort of regular Intemperance; I never go to Bed drunk,
1711.   but always fluster'd; I wear away very gently; am apt
to be peevish, but never angry,    Mr, SPECTATOR, If
you have kept various Company, you know there
is in every Tavern in Town some old Humourist or
other, who is Master of the House as much as he that
keeps it, The Drawers are all in Awe of him; and
all the Customers who frequent his Company, yield
him a sort of comical obedience, I do not know but I
may be such a Fellow as this my self, But I appeal
to you, whether this is to be called a Club, because so
many Impertinents will break in upon me, and come
without Appointment? Clinch of Barnet has a nightly
Meeting, and shows to every one that will come in
and pay; but then he is the only Actor, Why should
People miscall things? If his is allow'd to be a Consort,
why mayn't mine be a Lecture? However, Sir, I submit
to you, and am,
Sir,
Your most obedient, &c,
Tho, Kimbow,'
'Good Sir,
You and I were press'd against each other last Winter
in a Crowd, in which uneasie Posture we suffered together
for almost half an Hour, I thank you for all your
Civilities ever since, in being of my Acquaintance wher,
ever you meet me, But the other Day you pull'd off
your Hat to me in the Park, when I was walking with
my Mistress   She did not like your Air, and said she
wondered what strange Fellows I was acquainted with,
Dear Sir, consider it is as much as my Life is worth, if she
should think we were intimate; therefore I earnestly
intreat you for the future to take no manner of Notice
of,
Sir,
Your obliged humble Servant,
Will, Fashion,'
A like Impertinence is also very troublesom to the
superior and more intelligent Part of the fair Sex, It
is




I


THE SPECTATOR                      91
is, it seems, a great Inconvenience, that those of the No. 24.
meanest Capacities will pretend to make Visits, tho' ino Wednes'
deed they are qualified rather to add to the Furniture of day,
the House (by filling an empty Chair) than to the ConMach 28,1
versation they come into when they visit, A Friend of
mine hopes for Redress in this Case, by the Publication
of her Letter in my Paper; which she thinks those
she would be rid of will take to themselves, It seems to
be written with an Eye to one of those pert giddy unthinking Girls, who upon the Recommendation only of an
agreeable Person, and a fashionable Air, take themselves
to be upon a Level with Women of the greatest Merit
' Madam,
I take this Way to acquaint you with what common
Rules and Forms would never permit me to tell you
otherwise; to wit, that you and I, tho' Equals in Quality
and Fortune, are by no Means suitable Companions,
You are, 'tis true, very pretty, can dance, and make a
very good Figure in a publick Assembly; but alas,
Madam, you must go no further; Distance and Silence
are your best Recommendations; therefore let me beg
of you never to make me any more Visits, You come
in a literal Sense to see one, for you have nothing to say,
I do not say this, that I would by any Means lose your
Acquaintance; but I would keep it up with the strictest
Forms of good Breeding, Let us pay Visits, but never
see one another If you will be so good as to deny your
self always to me, I shall return the Obligation by giving
the same Orders to my Servants, When Accident makes
us meet at a third Place, we may mutually lament the
Misfortune of never finding one another at home, go
in the same Party to a BenefitPlay, and smile at each
other, and put down Glasses as we pass in our Coaches,
Thus we may enjoy as much of each other's Friendship
as we are capable For there are some People who are
to be. known only by Sight, with which sort of Friendship I hope you will always honour,
Madam,
Your most obedient humble Servant,
Mary Tuesday.
A         P, S




92             THE SPECTATOR
No, 24,   P,, I subscribe my self by the Name of the Day
Wednes. I keep, that my supernumerary Friends may know who
day, I am,'
March 28,
1711, ADVERTISEMENT,
To prevent all Mistakes that may happen among
Gentlemen of the other End of the Town, who come but
once a Week to St, James's Coffeehouse, either by miscalling the Servants, or requiring such things from them
as are not properly within their respective Provinces,
this is to give Notice, that Kidney, Keeper of the Book,
Debts of the outlying Customers, and Observer of those
who go off without paying, having resign'd that Em,
ployment, is succeeded by John Sowton / to whose Place
of Enterer of Messages and first CoffeeGrinder William
Bird is promoted  and Samuel Burdock comes as Shoe,
Cleaner in the Room of the said Bird,             R
No, 25,
[ADDISON,] Thursday, March 29,
--   Egrescitque medendo,-Virg,
THE following Letter will explain it self, and needs
no Apology,
'Sir,
I am one of that sickly Tribe who are commonly known
by the name of Valetudinarians; and do confess to you,
that I first contracted this ill Habit of Body, or rather of
Mind, by the Study of Physick, I no sooner began to
peruse Books of this Nature, but I found my Pulse was
irregular, and scarce ever read the Account of any Disease
that I did not fancy my self afflicted with, Doctor Syden,
ham's learned Treatise of Fevers threw me into a lingring
Hectick, which hung upon me all the while I was
reading that excellent Piece, I then applied my self to
the Study of several Authors, who have written upon
Phthisical Distempers, and by that means fell into a
Consumption; till at length, growing very fat, I was in a
manner shamed out of that Imagination, Not long after
this I found in my self all the Symptoms of the Gout,
except Pain; but was cured of it by a Treatise upon the
Gravel




I"1


THE SPECTATOR                     93
Gravel, written by a very Ingenious Author, who (as it No, 25,
is usual for Physicians to convert one Distemper into Thursday,
another) eased me of the Gout by giving me the Stone, March 29,
I at length studied my self into a Complication of Dis 1711,
temperss but, accidentally taking into my Hand that
Ingenious Discourse written by Sanctorius, I was resolved
to direct my self by a Scheme of Rules, which I had
collected from his Observations, The Learned World are
very well acquainted with that Gentleman's Invention;
who, for the better carrying on of his Experiments,
contrived a certain Mathematical Chair, which was so
Artificially hung upon Springs, that it would weigh any
thing as well as a Pair of Scales, By this means he
discovered how many Ounces of his Food pass'd by
Perspiration, what quantity of it was turned into Nourishment, and how much went away by the other Channels
and Distributions of Nature,
Having provided my self with this Chair, I used to
Study, Eat, Drink, and Sleep in it; insomuch that I may
be said, for these three last Years, to have lived in a Pair
of Scales, I compute my self, when I am in full Health,
to be precisely Two hundred Weight, falling short of it
about a Pound after a Day's Fast, and exceeding it as
much after a very full Meal; so that it is my continual
Employment to trim the Ballance between these two
Volatile Pounds in my Constitution, In my ordinary
Meals I fetch my self up to Two hundred Weight and
a half Pound; and if after having dined I find my self fall
short of it, I drink just so much Small Beer, or eat such
a quantity of Bread, as is sufficient to make me weight
In my greatest Excesses I do not transgress more than
the other half Pound; which, for my Health's sake, I do
the first Monday in every Month,  As soon as I find
my self duly poised after Dinner, I walk till I have perspired five Ounces and four Scruples and when I discover,
by my Chair, that I am so far reduced, I fall to my Books,
and study away three Ounces more, As for the remaining Parts of the Pound, I keep no accompt of them, I
do not dine and sup by the Clock, but by my Chair; for
when that informs me my Pound of Food is exhausted
I conclude my self to be hungry, and lay in another with
all




94


THE SPECTATOR


No, 25, all Diligence, In my Days of Abstinence I lose a Pound
Thursday, and an half, and on solemn Fasts am two Pound lighter
March 29, than on other Days in the Year,
711    allow my self, one Night with another, a Quarter
of a Pound of Sleep within a few Grains more or less,
and if upon my rising I find that I have not consumed my
whole quantity, I take out the rest in my Chair, Upon
an exact Calculation of what I expended and received the
last Year, which I always register in a Book, I find the
Medium to be Two hundred Weight, so that I cannot
discover that I am  impaired one Ounce in my Health
during a whole Twelvemonth, And yet, Sir, notwith,
standing this my great Care to ballast my self equally
every Day, and to keep my Body in its proper Poise, so
it is that I find my self in a sick and languishing
Condition, My Complexion is grown very sallow, my
Pulse low, and my Body Hydropical, Let me therefore
beg you, Sir, to consider me as your Patient, and to give
me more certain Rules to walk by than those I have
already observed, and you will very much oblige
Your Humble Servant,
This Letter puts me in mind of an Italian Epitaph
written on the Monument of a Valetudinarian; Stavo
ben, ma per star Meglio, sto quil Which it is impossible
to translate, The Fear of Death often proves Mortal,
and sets People on Methods to save their Lives, which
infallibly destroy themn This is a Reflection made by
some Historians, upon observing that there are many
more thousands killed in a Flight than in a Battel; and
may be applied to those Multitudes of Imaginary Sick
Persons that break their Constitutions by Physick, and
throw themselves into the Arms of Death, by endeavour,
ing to escape it  This Method is not only dangerous,
but below the practice of a Reasonable Creature, To
consult the Preservation of Life, as the only End of it, To
make our Health our Business, To engage in no Action
that is not part of a Regimen, or course of Physick; are
Purposes so abject, so mean, so unworthy human Nature,
that a generous Soul would rather die than submit to
them, Besides, that a continual Anxiety for Life vitiates
all the Relishes of it, and casts a Gloom over the whole
Face




THE SPECTATOR


95


Face of Nature; as it is impossible we should take Delight No, 25,
in any thing that we are every Moment afraid of Thursday,
losingy                                             March 29,
I do not mean, by what I have here said, that I think 171
any one to blame for taking due Care of their Healths
On the contrary, as Cheerfulness of Mind, and Capacity
for Business, are in a great measure the Effects of a
welltempered Constitution, a Man cannot be at too much
Pains to cultivate and preserve it But this Care, which
we are prompted to, not only by common Sense, but
by Duty and Instinct, should never engage us in grounds
less Fears, melancholy Apprehensions, and imaginary
Distempers, which are natural to every Man who is
more anxious to live than how to live, In short, the
Preservation of Life should be only a secondary Concern,
and the Direction of it our Principal If we have this
Frame of Mind, we shall take the best Means to preserve Life, without being oversollicitous about the Event;
and shall arrive at that Point of Felicity which Martial
has mentioned as the Perfection of Happiness, of neither
fearing nor wishing for Death,
In answer to the Gentleman, who tempers his Health
by Ounces and by Scruples, and instead of complying
with those natural Sollicitations of Hunger and Thirst,
Drowsiness or Love of Exercise, governs himself by the
Prescriptions of his Chair, I shall tell him a short Fable,
Jupiter, says the Mythologist, to reward the Piety of
a certain Countryman, promised to give him whatever
he would ask, The Countryman desired that he might
have the Management of the Weather in his own Estate
He obtained his Request, and immediately distributed
Rain, Snow, and Sunshine among his several Fields, as
he thought the nature of the Soil required, At the
end of the Year, when he expected to see a more
than ordinary Crop, his Harvest fell infinitely short of
that of his Neighbourss Upon which (says the Fable)
he desired Jupiter to take the Weather again into his
own Hands, or that otherwise he should utterly ruin
himself,                                          C


Friday




96


THE SPECTATOR


No.26,   No. 26.
March 30, [ADDISON,]                          Friday, March 30.
171,        Pallida mors aequo pulsat pede pauperum tabernas
Regumque turres, 0 beate Sesti,
Vitae summa brevis spem nos vetat incohare longam,
Jam te premet nox, fabulaeque manes,
Et domus exilis Plutonia —,-Hor,
W      HEN  I am  in a serious Humour, I very often
walk by my self in Westminster Abby; where
the Gloominess of the Place, and the Use to which it
is applied, with the Solemnity of the Building, and the
Condition of the People who lye in it, are apt to fill
the Mind with a kind of Melancholy, or rather Thoughts
fulness, that is not disagreeable, I Yesterday pass'd a
whole Afternoon in the Church-yard, the Cloysters, and
the Church, amusing my self with the Tomb-stones and
Inscriptions that I met with in those several Regions of
the Dead, Most of them recorded nothing else of the
buried Person, but that he was born upon one Day and
died upon another: The whole History of his Life
being comprehended in those two Circumstances, that
are common to all Mankind, I could not but look upon
these Registers of Existence, whether of Brass or Marble,
as a kind of Satyr upon the departed Persons; who had
left no other Memorial of them, but that they were born
and that they died, They put me in mind of several
Persons mentioned in the Battels of Heroic Poems, who
have sounding Names given them, for no other Reason
but that they may be killed, and are celebrated for nothing
but being knocked on the Head,
rXaVKdv Tr M4iov'r T4 'rE rEp'c(oXv -.-Hom.
Glaucumque, Medontaque, Thersilochumque,-Virg,
The Life of these Men is finely described in Holy Writ
by the Path of an Arrow, which is immediately closed
up and lost
Upon my going into the Church, I entertained my
self with the digging of a Grave; and saw in every
Shovelfull of it that was thrown up, the Fragment of
a Bone or Skull intermixt with a kind of fresh mouldering Earth that some time or other had a place in the
Composition




THE SPECTATOR


97


Composition of an human Body, Upon this, I began to No. 26.
consider with my self what innumerable Multitudes of Friday
People lay confused together under the Pavement of that March 30,
ancient Cathedral; how Men and Women, Friends and 1711
Enemies, Priests and Soldiers, Monks and Prebendaries,
were crumbled amongst one another, and blended together
in the same common Mass; how Beauty, Strength, and
Youth, with Oldage, Weakness, and Deformity, lay undistinguished in the same promiscuous Heap of Matter,
After having thus surveyed this great Magazine of
Mortality, as it were, in the Lump, I examined it more
particularly by the Accounts which I found on several
of the Monuments which are raised in every Quarter
of that ancient Fabrick, Some of them were covered
with such extravagant Epitaphs, that, if it were possible
for the dead Person to be acquainted with them, he
would blush at the Praises which his Friends have be,
stowed upon him, There are others so excessively
modest, that they deliver the Character of the Person
departed in Greek or Hebrew, and by that means are
not understood once in a Twelvemonth, In the Poetical
Quarter, I found there were Poets who had no Monu,
ments, and Monuments which had no Poets, I observed
indeed that the present War had filled the Church with
many of these uninhabited Monuments, which had been
erected to the Memory of Persons whose Bodies were
perhaps buried in the Plains of Blenheim, or in the
Bosom of the Ocean,
I could not but be very much delighted with several
modem Epitaphs, which are written with great Elegance
of Expression and Justness of Thought, and therefore do
Honour to the Living as well as to the Dead,  As a
Foreigner is very apt to conceive an Idea of the Ignore
ance or Politeness of a Nation from the Turn of their
publick Monuments and Inscriptions, they should be
submitted to the Perusal of Men of Learning and
Genius before they are put in Execution, Sir Cloudesley
Shovel's Monument has very often given me great
Offence  Instead of the brave rough English Admiral,
which was the distinguishing Character of that plain
gallant Man, he is represented on his Tomb by the
G                   Figure




98            THE SPECTATOR
No, 26,  Figure of a Beau, dress'd in a long Perriwig, and repose
Friday,  ing himself upon Velvet Cushions under a Canopy of
March 30, State, The Inscription is answerable to the Monument;
for instead of celebrating the many remarkable Actions
he had performed in the Service of his Country, it
acquaints us only with the Manner of his Death, in
which it was impossible for him to reap any Honour,
The Dutch, whom we are apt to despise for want of
Genius, shew an infinitely greater Taste of Antiquity
and Politeness in their Buildings and Works of this
Nature, than what we meet with in those of our own
Country,  The Monuments of their Admirals, which
have been erected at the publick Expence, represent them
like themselves; and are adorned with rostral Crowns
and naval Ornaments, with beautiful Festoons of Sea,
weed, Shells, and Coral,
But to return to our Subject, I have left the Repository
of our English Kings for the Contemplation of another
Day, when I shall find my Mind disposed for so serious
an Amusement, I know that Entertainments of this
nature are apt to raise dark and dismal Thoughts in
timorous Minds, and gloomy Imaginations; but for my
own part, though I am always serious, I do not know
what it is to be melancholy; and can therefore take a
View of Nature in her deep and solemn Scenes, with
the same Pleasure as in her most gay and delightful
ones, By this means I can improve my self with those
Objects, which others consider with Terror, When I
look upon the Tombs of the Great, every Emotion of
Envy dies in me; when I read the Epitaphs of the
Beautiful, every inordinate Desire goes out; when I
meet with the Grief of Parents upon a Tomb-stone,
my Heart melts with Compassion; when I see the
Tomb of the Parents themselves, I consider the Vanity
of grieving for those whom we must quickly follows
When I see Kings lying by those who deposed them,
when I consider rival Wits placed Side by Side, or the
holy Men that divided the World with their Contests
and Disputes, I reflect with Sorrow and Astonishment
on the little Competitions, Factions, and Debates of Mankind, When I read the several Dates of the Tombs,
of




THE SPECTATOR


99


of some that died Yesterday, and some six hundred No, 26,
Years ago, I consider that great Day when we shall Frday,3
all of us be Contemporaries, and make our Appearance 17r     0,
together,                                           C
No, 27,
[STEELE,]                           Saturday, March 31,
Ut nox longa quibus mentitur amica, diesque
Longa videtur opus debentibus, ut piger annus
Pupillis quos dura premit custodia matrum
Sic mihi tarda fluunt ingrataque tempora, quae spem
Consiliumque morantur agendi naviter, id quod
Aeque pauperibus prodest, locupletibus aeque,
Aeque neglectum pueris senibusque nocebit,-Hor,
T    HERE is scarce a thinking Man in the World,
who is involved in the Business of it, but lives
under a secret Impatience of the Hurry and Fatigue he
suffers, and has formed a Resolution to fix himself, one
time or other, in such a State as is suitable to the End of
his Being, You hear Men every Day in Conversation
profess, that all the Honour, Power and Riches which they
propose to themselves, cannot give Satisfaction enough
to reward them  for half the Anxiety they undergo in
the Pursuit, or Possession of them, While Men are in
this Temper (which happens very frequently) how in,
consistent are they with themselves? They are wearied
with the Toil they bear, but cannot find in their Hearts
to relinquish it; Retirement is what they want, but they
cannot betake themselves to its While they pant after
Shade and Covert, they still affect to appear in the most
glittering Scenes of Life: But sure this is but just as
reasonable as if a Man should call for more Lights, when
he has a mind to go to Sleep,
Since then it is certain that our own Hearts deceive
us in the Love of the World, and that we cannot com,
mand our selves enough to resign it, though we every
Day wish our selves disengaged from   its Allurements,
let us not stand upon a Formal taking of Leave, but
wean our selves from them, while we are in the midst
of them,
It is certainly the general Intention of the greater Part
of




100


THE SPECTATOR


No, 27,  of Mankind to accomplish this Work, and live according
Saturday, to their own Approbation, as soon as they possibly cans
March J, But since the Duration of Life is so uncertain, and that
has been a common Topick of Discourse ever since there
was such a thing as Life it self, how is it possible that
we should defer a Moment the beginning to Live accords
ingto the Rules of Reason?
The Man of Business has ever some one Point to
carry, and then he tells himself he'll bid adieu to all the
Vanity of Ambition, The Man of Pleasure resolves to
take his Leave at least, and part civilly with his Mistress
But the Ambitious Man is entangled every Moment in
a fresh Pursuit, and the Lover sees new Charms in the
Object he fancy'd he could abandon, It is therefore a
fantastical way of thinking, when we promise our selves
an Alteration in our Conduct from change of Place, and
difference of Circumstances; the same Passions will
attend us where-ever we are, 'till they are Conquer'd; and
we can never live to our Satisfaction in the deepest
Retirement, unless we are capable of living so in some
measure amidst the Noise and Business of the World,
I have ever thought Men were better known, by what
could be observed of them from a Perusal of their private
Letters, than any other way, My Friend, the Clergyman,
the other Day, upon serious Discourse with him con,
cerning the Danger of Procrastination, gave me the
following Letters from Persons with whom he lives in
great Friendship and Intimacy, according to the good
Breeding and good Sense of his Character, The first is
from a Man of Business, who is his Convert The second
from one of whom he conceives good Hopes: The third
from one who is in no State at all, but carried one way
and another by starts,
'Sir,
I know not with what Words to express to you the
Sense I have of the high Obligation you have laid upon
me, in the Penance you enjoined me of doing some Good
or other, to a Person of Worth, every Day I live, The
Station I am in, furnishes me with daily Opportunities
of this kinds And the Noble Principle with which you
have




THE SPECTATOR


101


have inspired me, of Benevolence to all I have to deal No, 27,
with, quickens my Application in every thing I undertake, Saturday,
When I relieve Merit from Discountenance, when I assist March 1,
a friendless Person, when I produce concealed Worth,
I am displeased with my self, for having designed to
leave the World in order to be Virtuous, I am sorry
you decline the Occasions which the Condition I am in
might afford me of enlarging your Fortunes; but know
I contribute more to your Satisfaction, when I acknowledge I am the better Man, from the Influence and
Authority you have over,
Sir,
Your most Obliged and
Most Humble Servant,
R, O/
'Sir,
I am intirely convinced of the Truth of what you
were pleased to say to me, when I was last with you
alone, You told me then of the silly way I was in;
but you told me so, as I saw you loved me, otherwise
I could not obey your Commands in letting you know:my Thoughts so sincerely as I do at present, I know
the Creature for whom     I resign  so much   of my
Character, is all that you said of her; but then the
Trifler has something in her so undesigning and harm,
less, that her Guilt in one kind disappears by the Come
parison of her Innocence in another, Will you, Virtuous
Men, allow no alteration of Offences? Must Dear Chloe
be called by the hard Name you pious People give to
common Women? I keep the solemn Promise I made
you, in writing to you the State of my Mind, after your
kind Admonition; and will endeavour to get the better
of this Fondness, which makes me so much her humble
Servant, that I am almost asham'd to Subscribe my self
yours,
T, D,
'Sir,
There is no State of Life so Anxious as that of a Man
who does not live according to the Dictates of his own
Reason, It will seem odd to you, when I assure you
that




102            THE SPECTATOR
No, 27,  that my Love of Retirement first of all brought me to
Saturday, Court; but this will be no Riddle, when I acquaint you
March 31, that I placed my self here with a Design of getting so
much Mony as might enable me to Purchase a handsome Retreat in the Country, At present my Circunv
stances enable me, and my Duty prompts me, to pass
away the remaining Part of my Life in such a Retires
ment as I at first proposed to my self; but to my great
Misfortune I have intirely lost the Relish of it, and should
now return to the Country with greater Reluctance than
I at first came to Court, I am so unhappy, as to know
that what I am fond of are Trifles, and that what I
neglect is of the greatest Importance% In short, I find
a Contest in my     own  Mind between    Reason  and
Fashion, I remember you once told me, that I might
live in the World and out of it, at the same time, Let
me beg of you to explain this Paradox more at large to
me, that I may conform my Life, if possible, both to
my Duty and my Inclination, I am
Your most humble Servant,
R                                               R, B1'
No, 28,
[ADDISON.]                            Monday, April 2,
Neque semper arcum
Tendit Apollo,-Hor,
SHALL here present my Reader with a Letter from
a Projector, concerning a new Office which he thinks
may very much contribute to the Embellishment of the
City, and to the driving Barbarity out of our Streets,
I consider it as a Satyr upon Projectors in general, and
a lively Picture of the whole Art of Modern Criticism,
'Sir,
Observing that you have Thoughts of creating certain
Officers under you, for the Inspection of several petty
Enormities which you your self cannot attend to; and
finding daily Absurdities hung out upon the SignPosts
of this City, to the great Scandal of Foreigners, as well
as those of our own Country, who are curious Specta,
tors




I


THE SPECTATOR                     103
tors of the same I do humbly propose, that you would No, 28,
be pleased to make me your Superintendant of all such Monday,
Figures and Devices as are or shall be made use of on April 2,
this Occasion; with full Powers to rectifie or expunge7
whatever I shall find irregular or defective, For want
of such an Officer, there is nothing like sound Litera,
ture and good Sense to be met with in those Objects,
that are every where thrusting themselves out to the
Eye, and endeavouring to become visible, Our Streets
are filled with blue Boars, black Swans, and red Lions;
not to mention flying Pigs, and Hogs in Armour, with
many other Creatures more extraordinary than any
in the Desarts of Africk, Strangel that one who has
all the Birds and Beasts in Nature to chuse out of,
should live at the Sign of an Ens Rationis I
My first Task therefore should be, like that of Hercules,
to clear the City from Monsters, In the second Place I
would forbid, that Creatures of jarring and incongruous
Natures should be joined together in the same Sign;
such as the Bell and the Neats/Tongue, the Dog and
Gridiron, The Fox and Goose may be supposed to
have met; but what has the Fox and the Seven Stars
to do together? And when did the Lamb and Dolphin
ever meet, except upon a SignPost t As for the Cat and
Fiddle, there is a Conceit in it; and therefore I do not
intend that any thing I have here said should affect it,
I must however observe to you upon this Subject, that
it is usual for a young Tradesman, at his first setting
up, to add to his own Sign that of the Master whom
he serv'd; as the Husband after Marriage, gives a Place
to his Mistress's Arms in his own Coat, This I take to
have given Rise to many of those Absurdities which are
committed over our Heads; and, as I am informed, first
occasioned the three Nuns and a Hare, which we see so
frequently joined together,  I would therefore establish
certain Rules, for the determining how far one Tradesman may give the Sign of another, and in what Cases
he may be allowed to quarter it with his own,
In the third Place, I would enjoin every Shop to
make use of a Sign which bears some Affinity to the
Wares in which it deals,  What can be more incon,
sistent




104           THE SPECTATOR
No, 28,  sistent, than to see a Bawd at the Sign of the Angel,
Monday, or a Taylor at the Lion? A Cook should not live at
lApil 2, the Boot, nor a Shoemaker at the roasted Pig; and yet,
for want of this Regulation, I have seen a Goat set up
before the Door of a Perfumer, and the French King's
Head at a SwordCutler's,
An Ingenious Foreigner observes, that several of those
Gentlemen who value themselves upon their Families,
and overlook such as are bred to Trade, bear the Tools
of their Forefathers in their Coats of Arms, I will not
examine how true this is in Facts But though it may
not be necessary for Posterity thus to set up the Sign
of their Forefathers; I think it highly proper for those
who actually profess the Trade, to show  some such
Marks of it before their Doors,
When the Name gives an Occasion for an ingenious
Sign-Post, I would likewise advise the Owner to take
that Opportunity of letting the World know who he is,
It would have been ridiculous for the Ingenious Mrs,
Salmon to have lived at the Sign of the Trout; for which
Reason she has erected before her House the Figure of
the Fish that is her Namesake, Mr, Bell has likewise
distinguish'd himself by a Device of the same Nature;
And here, Sir, I must beg Leave to observe to you,
that this particular Figure of a Bell has given Occasion
to several Pieces of Wit in this kind, A Man of your
Reading must know that Abel Drugger gained great
Applause by it in the Time of Ben, Johnson, Our
Apocryphal Heathen God is also represented by this
Figure; which, in Conjunction with the Dragon, makes
a very handsome Picture in several of our Streets, As
for the Bell$Savage, which is the Sign of a Savage Man
standing by a Bell, I was formerly very much puzzled
upon the Conceit of it, till I accidentally fell into the
reading of an old Romance translated out of the French;
which gives an Account of a very beautiful Woman
who was found in a Wilderness, and is called in the
French la belle Sauvage; and is every where translated
by our Country-men the Bell-Savage, This Piece of Philology will, I hope, convince you that I have made Sign,
Posts my Study, and consequently qualified my self for
the




THE SPECTATOR


105


the Employment which I sollicit at your Hands, But No. 28.
before I conclude my Letter, I must communicate to you Monday,
another Remark which I have made upon the Subject April2,
with which I am now entertaining you, namely, that I 17
can give a shrewd Guess at the Humour of the Inhabi,
tant by the Sign that hangs before his Door, A surly
cholerick Fellow generally makes Choice of a Bear; as
Men of milder Dispositions frequently live at the Lamb,
Seeing a PunchBowl painted upon a Sign near Charing,
Cross, and very curiously garnished, with a Couple of
Angels hovering over it and squeezing a Lemmon into
it, I had the Curiosity to ask after the Master of the
House, and found upon Enquiry, as I had guessed by
the little Agreemens upon his Sign, that he was a
Frenchman, I know, Sir, it is not requisite for me to
enlarge upon these Hints to a Gentleman of your great
Abilities; so humbly recommending my self to your
Favour and Patronage,
I remain, &c,'
I shall add to the foregoing Letter, another which came
to me by the same PennyPost
'From my own Apartment near CharingCross,
Honoured Sir,
Having heard that this Nation is a great Encourager of
Ingenuity, I have brought with me a RopeDancer that
was caught in one of the Woods belonging to the Great
Mogul, He is by Birth a Monkey; but swings upon a
Rope, takes a Pipe of Tobacco, and drinks a Glass of Ale,
like any reasonable Creature, He gives great Satisfaction
to the Quality; and if they will make a Subscription for
him, I will send for a Brother of his out of Holland that
is a very good Tumbler; and also for another of the
same Family whom I design for my Merry-Andrew, as
being an excellent Mimick, and the greatest Drole in the
Country where he now is, I hope to have this Enter,
tainment in a Readiness for the next Winter; and doubt
not but it will please more than the Opera or PuppetShow, I will not say that a Monkey is a better Man
than some of the Opera Heroes; but certainly he is a
better




106


THE SPECTATOR


No. 28,  better Representative of a Man, than the most artificial
Monday, Composition of Wood and Wire, If you will be pleased
April2, to give me a good Word in your Paper, you shall be
every Night a Spectator at my Show for nothing,
C                                         I am, &c,
No, 29,
[ADDISON.]                          Tuesday, April 3,
--   Sermo lingua concinnus utraque
Suavior, ut Chio nota si commixta Falerni est,-Hor,
HERE is nothing that has more startled our English
Audience, than the Italian Recitativo at its first
Entrance upon the Stage, People were wonderfully surprized to hear Generals singing the Word of Command,
and Ladies delivering Messages in Musick, Our Country,
men could not forbear laughing when they heard a Lover
chanting out a Billet-doux, and even the Superscription of
a Letter set to a Tune, The Famous Blunder in an old
Play of Enter a King and two Fidlers solus, was now
no longer an Absurdity; when it was impossible for a
Hero in a Desart, or a Princess in her Closet, to speak
any thing unaccompanied with Musical Instruments,
But however this Italian Method of acting in Recitar
tivo might appear at first hearing, I cannot but think
it much more just than that which prevailed in our
English Opera before this Innovations The Transition
from  an Air to Recitative Musick being more natural,
than the passing from a Song to plain and ordinary
Speaking, which was the common Method in Purcell's
Operas,
The only Fault I find in our present Practice, is the
making use of the Italian Recitativo with English
Words,
To go to the Bottom of this Matter, I must observe,
that the Tone, or (as the French call it) the Accent of
every Nation in their ordinary Speech, is altogether dif,
ferent from that of every other People; as we may see
even in the Welsh and Scotch, who border so near
upon us, By the Tone or Accent, I do not mean the
Pronunciation of each particular Word, but the Sound of
the whole Sentence, Thus it is very common for an
English




THE SPECTATOR


107


English Gentleman, when he hears a French Tragedy, No, 29,
to complain that the Actors all of them speak in a Tuesday,
Tone; and therefore he very wisely prefers his own April 3,
Country-men, not considering that a Foreigner comrn
plains of the same Tone in an English Actor,
For this Reason, the Recitative Musick, in every
Language, should be as different as the Tone or Accent
of each Language; for otherwise, what may properly
express a Passion in one Language, will not do it in
another, Every one who has been long in Italy knows
very well, that the Cadences in the Recitativo bear a
remote Affinity to the Tone of their Voices in ordinary
Conversation; or, to speak more properly, are only the
Accents of their Language made more Musical and
Tuneful,
Thus the Notes of Interrogation, or Admiration, in
the Italian Musick (if one may so call them) which
resemble their Accents in Discourse on such Occasions,
are not unlike the ordinary Tones of an English Voice
when we are angry; insomuch that I have often seen
our Audiences extreamly mistaken as to what has been
doing upon the Stage, and expecting to see the Hero
knock down his Messenger, when he has been asking
him a Question; or fancying that he quarrels with his
Friend, when he only bids him Good-morrow,
For this Reason the Italian Artists cannot agree with
our English Musicians, in admiring Purcell's Composi'
tions, and thinking his Tunes so wonderfully adapted to
his Words; because both Nations do not always express
the same Passions by the same Sounds,
I am therefore humbly of Opinion, that an English
Composer should not follow the Italian Recitative too
servilely, but make use of many gentle Deviations from
it, in Compliance with his own Native Language, He
may Copy out of it all the lulling Softness and Dying
Falls (as Shakespear calls them), but should still remember
that he ought to accommodate himself to an English
Audience; and by humouring the Tone of our Voices
in ordinary Conversation, have the same Regard to the
Accent of his own Language, as those Persons had to
theirs whom he professes to imitate, It is observed, that
several




108


THE SPECTATOR


No. 29.  several of the singing Birds of our own Country learn to
Tuesday, sweeten their Voices, and mellow the Harshness of their
April 3, natural Notes, by practising under those that come from
warmer Climates, In the same manner I would allow
the Italian Opera to lend our English Musick as much
as may grace and soften it, but never entirely to annihilate and destroy it,  Let the Infusion be as strong
as you please, but still let the Subject Matter of it be
English,
A  Composer should fit his Musick to the Genius of
the People, and consider that the Delicacy of Hearing,
and Taste of Harmony, has been formed upon those
Sounds which every Country abounds with, In short, that
Musick is of a Relative Nature, and what is Harmony to
one Ear, may be Dissonance to another,
The same Observations which I have made upon the
Recitative Part of Musick, may be applied to all our
Songs and Airs in general,
Signior Baptist Lully acted like a Man of Sense in
this Particular, He found the French Musick extreamly
defective and very often barbarous: However, knowing
the Genius of the People, the Humour of their Language,
and the prejudiced Ears he had to deal with, he did
not pretend to extirpate the French Musick and plant the
Italian in its stead; but only to Cultivate and Civilize
it with innumerable Graces and Modulations which he
borrowed from the Italian, By this means the French
Musick is now perfect in its kind; and when you say it
is not so good as the Italian, you only mean that it does
not please you so well, for there is scarce a Frenchman
who would not wonder to hear you give the Italian such
a Preference, The Musick of the French is indeed very
properly adapted to their Pronunciation and Accent, as
their whole Opera wonderfully favours the Genius of
such a gay airy People, The Chorus in which that Opera
abounds, gives the Parterre frequent Opportunities of
joining in Concert with the Stage,  This Inclination of
the Audience to sing along with the Actors, so prevails
with them, that I have sometimes known the Performer
on the Stage do no more in a Celebrated Song, than the
Clerk of a Parish Church, who serves only to raise the
Psalm




THE SPECTATOR


109


Psalm, and is afterwards drowned in the Musick of the No, 29,
Congregation, Every Actor that comes on the Stage is Tuesday,
a Beau, The Queens and Heroines are so Painted, that ApTil 3
they appear as Ruddy and Cherrycheek'd as Milk-maids,
The Shepherds are all Embroidered, and acquit them,
selves in a Ball better than our English Dancing-Masters,
I have seen a Couple of Rivers appear in red Stockings;
and Alpheus, instead of having his Head covered with
Sedge and BullRushes, making Love in a fair full,
bottomed Perriwig, and a Plume of Feathers, but with
a Voice so full of Shakes and Quavers that I should have
thought the Murmurs of a Country Brook the much
more agreeable Musick,
I remember the last Opera I saw in that merry Nation,
was the Rape of Proserpine, where Pluto, to make
the more tempting Figure, puts himself in a French
Equipage, and brings Ascalaphus along with him as
his Valet de Chambre, This is what we call Folly and
Impertinence; but what the French look upon as Gay
and Polite,
I shall add no more to what I have here offered, than
that Musick, Architecture and Painting, as well as Poetry
and Oratory, are to deduce their Laws and Rules from
the general Sense and Taste of Mankind, and not from
the Principles of those Arts themselves; or in other
Words, the Taste is not to conform to the Art, but the
Art to the Taste, Musick is not designed to please only
Chromatick Ears, but all that are capable of distinguishing
harsh from disagreeable Notes, A Man of an ordinary
Ear is a Judge whether a Passion is expressed in proper
Sounds, and whether the Melody of those Sounds be
more or less pleasing,                             C
No, 30,
[STEELE,]                          Wednesday, April 4,
S1, Mimnermus uti censet, sine amore jocisque
Nil est jucundum, vivas in amore jocisque,-Hor,
O   NE common Calamity makes Men extreamly affect
each other, though they differ in every other
Particular, The Passion of Love is the most general
Concern




110           THE SPECTATOR
No. 30,  Concern among Men; and I am     glad to hear by my
Wednese last Advices from Oxford, that there are a Set of Sighers
day,    in that University, who have erected themselves into a
4171f Society in Honour of that tender Passion, These Gentle,
men are of that Sort of Inamoratos, who are not so
very much lost to common Sense, but that they under,
stand the Folly they are guilty of; and for that Reason
separate themselves from all other Company, because
they will enjoy the Pleasure of talking incoherently,
without being ridiculous to any but each other, When
a Man comes into the Club, he is not obliged to make
any Introduction to his Discourse, but at once, as he is
seating himself in his Chair, speaks in the Thread of
his own Thoughts, 'She gave me a very obliging
Glance, She never looked so well in her Life as this
Evening,' or the like Reflection, without Regard to any
other Member of the Society; for in this Assembly they
do not meet to talk to each other, but every Man claims
the full Liberty of talking to himself,  Instead of Snuff,
boxes and Canes, which are usual Helps to Discourse
with other young Fellows, these have each some Piece
of Ribbon, a broken Fan, or an old Girdle, which they
play with while they talk of the fair Person remembered
by each respective Token, According to the Representation of the Matter from my Letters, the Company appear
like so many Players rehearsing behind the Scenes; one
is sighing and lamenting his Destiny in beseeching
Terms, another declaring he will break his Chain, and
another in dumbShow striving to express his Passion
by his Gesture,  It is very ordinary in the Assembly
for one of a sudden to rise, and make a Discourse concerning his Passion in general, and describe the Temper
of his Mind in such a manner, as that the whole
Company shall join in the Description, and feel the
Force of it, In this Case, if any Man has declared the
Violence of his Flame in more pathetick Terms, he is
made President for that Night, out of respect to his
superior Passion,
We had some Years ago in this Town a Set of
People who met and dressed like Lovers, and were
distinguished by the Name of the Fringe-Glove Club;
but




II


THE SPECTATOR                      111
but they were Persons of such moderate Intellects, even No. 30,
before they were impaired by their Passion, that their Wednes,
Irregularities could not furnish sufficient Variety of Folly day,
to afford daily new  Impertinences; by which Means 17 11
that Institution dropped,  These Fellows could express
their Passion in nothing but their Dress; but the
Oxonians are phantastical now they are Lovers, in
proportion to their Learning and Understanding before
they become such, The Thoughts of the ancient Poets
on this agreeable Phrenzy, are translated in honour of
some modern Beauty; and Chloris is won to Day, by
the same Compliment that was made to Lesbia a thousand Years ago, But as far as I can learn, the Patron
of the Club is the renowned Don      Quixote,   The
Adventures of that gentle Knight are frequently mentioned in the Society, under the Colour of laughing at
the Passion and themselves, But at the same time,
though they are sensible of the Extravagancies of that
unhappy Warrior, they do not observe, that to turn
all the Reading of the best and wisest Writings into
Rhapsodies of Love, is a Phrenzy no less diverting than
that of the aforesaid accomplished Spaniard, A Gentler
man who, I hope, will continue his Correspondence,
is lately admitted into the Fraternity, and sent me the
following Letter,
'Sir,
Since I find you take Notice of Clubs, I beg leave
to give you an Account of one in Oxford, which you
have no where mentioned, and perhaps never heard of.
We distinguish our selves by the Title of the Amorous
Club, are all Votaries of Cupid, and Admirers of the
Fair Sex, The Reason that we are so little known in
the World, is the Secresie which we are obliged to
live under in the University, Our Constitution runs
counter to that of the Place wherein we live: For in
Love there are no Doctors, and we all possess so high
Passion, that we admit of no Graduates in it,   Our
Presidentship is bestowed according to the Dignity of
Passion; our Number is unlimited; and our Statutes
are like those of the Druids, recorded in our own Breasts
only




112            THE SPECTATOR
No, 30,  only, and explained by the Majority of the Company,
Wednes,  A Mistress, and a Poem  in her Praise, will introduce
day, 4  any Candidate 5 Without the latter no one can be admitted;
A17.l    for he that is not in Love enough to rhime, is unqualified
for our Society, To speak disrespectfully of any Woman
is Expulsion from our gentle Society, As we are at
present all of us Gownsmen, instead of duelling when
we are Rivals, we drink together the Health of our
Mistress,  The Manner of doing this sometimes indeed
creates Debates; on such Occasions we have Recourse
to the Rules of Love among the Antients,
Naevia sex cyathis, septem Justina bibatur,
This Method of a Glass to every Letter of her Name,
occasioned the other Night a Dispute of some Warmth,
A young Student, who is in Love with Mrs, Elizabeth
Dimple, was so unreasonable as to begin her Health
under the Name of Elizabetha; which so exasperated
the Club, that by common Consent we retrenched it
to Betty,   We look upon a Man as no Company,
that does not sigh five times in a Quarter of an Hour;
and look upon a Member as very absurd, that is so
much himself as to make a direct Answer to a Question,
In fine, the whole Assembly is made up of absent
Men, that is, of such Persons as have lost their Locality,
and whose Minds and Bodies never keep Company with
one another, As I am an unfortunate Member of this
distracted Society, you cannot expect a very regular
Account of it; for which Reason, I hope you will
pardon me that I so abruptly subscribe my self,
Sir,
Your most obedient,
humble Servant,
T, B,
I forgot to tell you, that Albina, who has six Votaries
in this Club, is one of your Readers,'             R


Thursday




THE SPECTATOR


113


No, 31,                                              No, 31,
[ADDISONA]                                           Thursday,
ADDISON,]                          Thursday, April, April 5,
Sit mihi fas audita loquiL-Virg,       1711,
AST Night, upon my going into a Coffeehouse not
far from the Hay-Market Theatre, I diverted my
self for above half an Hour with overhearing the Dis,
course of one, who, by the Shabbiness of his Dress, the
Extravagance of his Conceptions, and the Hurry of
his Speech, I discovered to be of that Species who are
generally distinguished by the Title of Projectors, This
Gentleman, for I found he was treated as such by his
Audience, was entertaining a whole Table of Listners
with the Project of an Opera, which he told us had not
cost him above two or three Mornings in the Contriv,
ance, and which he was ready to put in Execution,
provided he might find his Account in it He said, that
he had observed the great Trouble and Inconvenience
which Ladies were at, in travelling up and down to the
several Shows that are exhibited in different Quarters
of the Town, The dancing Monkies are in one Place;
the Puppet Show in another; the Opera in a third; not
to mention the Lions, that are almost a whole Day's
Journey from the politer Part of the Town, By this
means People of Figure are forced to lose half the Winter
after their coming to Town, before they have seen all
the strange Sights about it, In order to remedy this
great Inconvenience, our Projector drew out of his Pocket
the Scheme of an Opera, Entitled, The Expedition of
Alexander the Great; in which he had disposed all the
remarkable Shows about Town, among the Scenes and
Decorations of his Piece, The Thought, he confest, was
not originally his own, but that he had taken the Hint
of it from several Performances which he had seen upon
our Stages In one of which there was a RaryShow; in
another, a Ladder-dance; and in others a Posture-Man,
a moving Picture, with many Curiosities of the like
Nature,
This Expedition of Alexander opens with his con,
sulting the Oracle at Delphos, in which the dumb
Conjurer, who has been visited by so many Persons of
H                   Quality




114


THE SPECTATOR


No, 31,  Quality of late Years, is to be introduced as telling him
Thursday, his Fortune, At the same time Clench of Barnet is
A7pil 5  represented in another Corner of the Temple, as ringing
the Bells of Delphos, for joy of his Arrival, The Tent
of Darius is to be Peopled by the Ingenious Mrs, Salmon,
where Alexander is to fall in Love with a Piece of
Waxwork, that represents the beautiful Statira,  When
Alexander comes into that Country, in which Quintus
Curtius tells us the Dogs were so exceeding fierce that
they would not loose their Hold, though they were cut
to pieces Limb by Limb, and that they would hang upon
their Prey by their Teeth when they had nothing but
a Mouth left, there is to be a Scene of Hockley in the
Hole, in which is to be represented all the Diversions
of that Place, the Bullkbaiting only excepted, which can,
not possibly be exhibited in the Theatre, by reason of
the Lowness of the Roof, The several Woods in Asia,
which Alexander must be supposed to pass through, will
give the Audience a Sight of Monkies dancing upon
Ropes, with the many other Pleasantries of that ludicrous
Species, At the same time, if there chance to be any
Strange Animals in Town, whether Birds or Beasts, they
may be either let loose among the Woods, or driven
across the Stage by some of the Country People of Asia,
In the last great Battel, Pinkethman is to personate King
Porus upon an Elephant, and is to be encountered by
Powell, representing Alexander the Great, upon a Drome,
dary, which nevertheless Mr, Powell is desired to call
by the Name of Bucephalus, Upon the Close of this
great decisive Battel, when the two Kings are thoroughly
reconciled, to shew  the mutual Friendship and good
Correspondence that reigns between them, they both
of them go together to a Puppet Show, in which the
ingenious Mr, Powell, Junior, may have an Oppor,
tunity of displaying his whole Art of Machinery, for
the Diversion of the two Monarchs, Some at the Table
urged, that a Puppet Show was not a suitable Entertain,
ment for Alexander the Great; and that it might be
introduced more properly, if we suppose the Conqueror
touched upon that Part of India which is said to be
inhabited by the Pigmies, But this Objection was looked
upon




THE SPECTATOR


115


upon as frivolous, and the Proposal immediately over, No. 31.
ruled, Our Projector further added, that after the Recon, Thursday,
ciliation of these two Kings they might invite one another April 5,
to Dinner, and either of them entertain his Guest with 17
the German Artist, Mr, Pinkethman's Heathen Gods,
or any of the like Diversions, which shall then chance
to be in vogue,
This Project was received with very great Applause
by the whole Table, Upon which the Undertaker told
us, that he had not yet communicated to us above half
his Design; for that Alexander being a Greek, it was
his Intention that the whole Opera should be acted in
that Language, which was a Tongue he was sure would
wonderfully please the Ladies, especially when it was
a little raised and rounded by the Ionick Dialect; and
could not but be acceptable to the whole Audience,
because there are fewer of them who understand Greek
than Italian,  The only Difficulty that remained, was,
how to get Performers, unless we could persuade some
Gentlemen of the Universities to learn to Sing, in order
to qualifie themselves for the Stage; but this Objection
soon vanished, when the Projector informed us that
the Greeks were at present the only Musicians in
the Turkish Empire, and that it would be very easie
for our Factory at Smyrna to furnish us every Year
with a Colony of Musicians, by the Opportunity of the
Turkey Fleet; besides, says he, if we want any single
Voice for any lower Part in the Opera, Lawrence can
learn to speak Greek, as well as he does Italian, in
a Fortniht's time.
The Projector having thus settled Matters, to the
good liking of all that heard him, he left his Seat at the
Table, and planted himself before the Fire, where I
had unluckily taken my Stand for the Convenience of
overhearing what he said, Whether he had observed
me to be more attentive than ordinary, I cannot tell,
but he had not stood by me above a quarter of a Minute,
but he turned short upon me on a sudden, and catching
me by a Button of my Coat, attacked me very abruptly
after the following manners Besides, Sir, I have heard
of a very extraordinary Genius for Musick that lives
in




116


THE SPECTATOR


No, 31,  in Switzerland, who has so strong   a Spring in his
Thursday, Fingers, that he can make the Board of an Organ sound
April 5  like a Drum, and if I could but procure a Subscription
of about Ten thousand Pound every Winter, I would
undertake to fetch him over, and oblige him by Articles
to set everything that should be sung upon the English
Stage, After this he looked full in my Face, expecting
I would make an Answer; when by good Luck, a
Gentleman that had entered the Coffeehouse since the
Projector applied himself to me, hearing him talk of his
Swiss Compositions, cry'd out with a kind of Laugh,
Is our Musick then to receive farther Improvements from
Switzerland?  This alarmed the Projector, who immediately let go my Button, and turned about to answer
him, I took the Opportunity of the Diversion, which
seemed to be made in favour of me, and laying down
my Penny upon the Bar, retired with some Precipitation,
C
No, 32,
[STEELE,]                             Friday, April 6,
Nil illi larva aut tragicis opus esse cothurnis,-Hor,
HE late Discourse concerning the Statutes of the
Ugly Club having been so well received at
Oxford, that, contrary to the strict Rules of the Society,
they have been so partial as to take my own Testimonial,
and admit me into that select Body; I could not restrain
the Vanity of publishing to the World the Honour which
is done me, It is no small Satisfaction, that I have given
Occasion for the President's shewing both his Invention
and Reading to such Advantage as my Correspondent
reports he dids But it is not to be doubted there were
many very proper Hums and Pauses in his Harangue,
which lose their Ugliness in the Narration, and which
my Correspondent (begging his Pardon) has no very
good Talent at representing, I very much approve of
the Contempt the Society has of Beauty  Nothing ought
to be laudable in a Man, in which his Will is not con,
cerned; therefore our Society can follow Nature, and
where she has thought fit, as it were, to mock her self,
we can do so too, and be merry upon the Occasions.
'Mr.




THE SPECTATOR


117


'Mr, SPECTATOR,                                 Nor 32,
Friday,
Your making publick the late Trouble I gave you, April 6,
you will find to have been the Occasion of this
Who should I meet at the Coffee, house Door t'other
Night, but my old Friend Mr, President  I saw some,
what had pleased him; and as soon as he had cast his
Eye upon me, "Oho, Doctor, rare News from London,
(says he); the SPECTATOR has made honourable Mention
of the Club (Man) and published to the World his sincere
Desire to be a Member, with a recommendatory Descrip,
tion of his Phiz: And though our Constitution has made
no particular Provision for short Faces, yet, his being
an extraordinary Case, I believe we shall find an Hole
for him to creep in at; for I assure you he is not against
the Canon; and if his Sides are as compact as his Joles,
he need not disguise himself to make one of us," I
presently called for the Paper to see how you looked in
Print; and after we had regaled our selves awhile upon
the pleasant Image of our Proselite, Mr, President told
me I should be his Stranger at the next Night's Clubs
Where we were no sooner come, and Pipes brought, but
Mr, President began an Harangue upon your Introduction
to my Epistle, setting forth with no less Volubility of
Speech than Strength of Reason, "That a Speculation of
this Nature was what had been long and much wanted;
and that he.doubted not but it would be of inestimable
Value to the Publick, in reconciling even of Bodies and
Souls; in composing and quieting the Minds of Men
under all corporal Redundancies, Deficiencies, and Irregu,
larities whatsoever; and making every one sit down
content in his own Carcass, though it were not perhaps
so mathematically put together as he could wish," And
again, "How that for want of a due Consideration of
what you first advance, viz, that our Faces are not of
our own chusing, People had been transported beyond all
good Breeding, and hurried themselves into unaccountable and fatal Extravagances% As, how many impartial
Looking-glasses had been censured and calumniated, nay,
and sometimes shivered into ten thousand Splinters, only
for a fair Representation of the Truth? how many Headstrings




118


THE SPECTATOR


No, 32,  strings and Garters had been made accessary, and actually
Friday,  forfeited, only because Folks must needs quarrel with
Alril 6, their own Shadows     And who (continues he) but is
deeply sensible, that one great Source of the Uneasiness
and Misery of human Life, especially amongst those of
Distinction, arises from nothing in the world else, but too
severe a Contemplation of an indefeasible Contexture
of our external Parts, or certain natural and invincible
Dispositions to be fat or lean? When a little more of
Mr. SPECrATOR'S Philosophy would take off all this; and
in the mean time let them observe, that there's not one
of their Grievances of this Sort, but perhaps, in some
Ages of the World has been highly in vogue; and may
be so again, nay, in some Country or other ten to one
is so at this Day. My Lady Ample is the most misers
able Woman in the World, purely of her own making:
She even grudges her self Meat and Drink, for fear she
should thrive by them; and is constantly crying out, In
a Quarter of a Year more I shall be quite out of all
manner of Shape! Now the Lady's Misfortune seems
to be only this, that she is planted in a wrong Soil for,
go but t'other Side of the Water, it's a Jest at Harlem
to talk of a Shape under eighteen Stone. These wise
Traders regulate their Beauties as they do their Butter,
by the Pound; and Miss Cross, when she first arrived
in the LowCountries, was not computed to be so hands
som as Madam Van Brisket by near half a Tun. On
the other hand, there's 'Squire Lath, a proper Gentleman,
of Fifteen hundred Pound per Annum, as well as of an
unblameable Life and Conversation; yet would not I be
the Esquire for half his Estate; for if it was as much
more, he'd freely part with it all for a Pair of Legs
to his Mind, Whereas in the Reign of our first King
Edward of glorious Memory, nothing more modish than
a Brace of your fine taper Supporters; and his Majesty,
without an Inch of Calf, managed Affairs in Peace and
War as laudably as the bravest and most politick of his
Ancestors; and was as terrible to his Neighbours under
the Royal Name of Long-shanks, as Cceur de Lion to
the Saracens before him, If we look farther back into
History we shall find, that Alexander the Great wore
his




THE SPECTATOR


119


his Head a little over the left Shoulder; and then not No, 32
a Soul stirred out till he had adjusted his Neck Bone; Friday,
the whole Nobility addressed the Prince and each other April 6
obliquely, and all Matters of Importance were concerted
and carried on in the Macedonian Court with their Polls
on one Side, For about the first Century nothing made
more Noise in the World than Roman Noses, and then
not a Word of them   till they revived again in Eighty
eight, Nor is it so very long since Richard the Third
set up half the Backs of the Nation; and high Shoulders,
as well as high Noses, were the Top of the Fashion,
But to come to our selves, Gentlemen, tho' I find by
my quinquennial Observations, that we shall never get
Ladies enough to make a Party in our own Country,
yet might we meet with better Success among some of
our Allies, And what think you if our Board sate for
a Dutch Piece? Truly I am of Opinion, that as odd as
we appear in Flesh and Blood, we should be no such
strange things in Metzo-Tinto, But this Project may
rest till our Number is compleat; and this being our
Election Night, give me leave to propose Mr. SPECTATOR
You see his Inclinations, and perhaps we may not have
his Fellow,'
I found most of them (as is usual in all such Cases)
were prepared; but one of the Seniors (whom by the
by Mr, President had taken all this Pains to bring over)
sate still, and cocking his Chin, which seemed only to
be levelled at his Nose, very gravely declared, "That in
case he had had sufficient Knowledge of you, no Man
should have been more willing to have served you; but
that he, for his Part, had always had regard to his own
Conscience, as well as other People's Merit; and he did
not know but that you might be a handsome Fellow;
for as for your own Certificate, it was every Body's
Business to speak for themselves," Mr, President immediately retorted, "A handsome Fellowl why he is a
Wit (Sir) and you know the Proverbs" and to ease the
old Gentleman of his Scruples, cried, "That for Matter
of Merit it was all one, you might wear a Mask," This
threw him into a Pause, and he looked desirous of three
Days to consider on it; but Mr. President improved the
Thought




120


THE SPECTATOR


No, 32.  Thought, and followed him up with an old Story, " That
Friday,  Wits were privileged to wear what Masks they pleased
April6, in all Ages; and that a Vizard had been the constant
Crown of their Labours, which was generally presented
them by the Hand of some Satyr, and sometimes of
Apollo himself," For the Truth of which he appealed to
the Frontispiece of several Books, and particularly to the
English Juvenal, to which he referred him; and only
added; "That such Authors were the Larvati, or Larva
donati of the Antients," This cleared up all, and in
the Conclusion you were chose Probationer; and Mr,
President put round your Health as such, protesting,
"That though indeed he talked of a Vizard, he did not
believe all the while you had any more Occasion for
it than the Cat-amountain;" so that all you have to do
now is to pay your Fees, which here are very reasonable if you are not imposed upon; and you may stile
your self Informis Societatis Sociuss Which I am desired
to acquaint you with; and upon the same I beg you to
accept of the Congratulation of,
Sir,
Oxford,           Your obliged humble Servant,
March 211                                      A, Co'
R
No, 33,
[STEELE,]                            Saturday, April 7.
Fervidus tecum puer & solutis
Gratiae zonis properentque Nymphae
Et parum comis sine te Juventas
Mercuriusque,-Hor, ad Venerem,
A     FRIEND of mine has two Daughters, whom I will
call Laetitia and Daphne; The Former is one of
the Greatest Beauties of the Age in which she lives,
the Latter no way remarkable for any Charms in her
Person, Upon this one Circumstance of their Outward
Form, the Good and Ill of their Life seems to turn,
Laetitia, has not from  her very Childhood, heard any
thing else but Commendations of her Features and Como
plexion; by which means she is no other than Nature
made her, a very beautiful Outside, The Consciousness
of




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121


of her Charms has rendered her insupportably Vain and No, 33,
Insolent towards all who have to do with her, Daphne, Saturday,
who was almost Twenty before one civil thing had April 7,
ever been said to her, found her self obliged to acquire
some Accomplishments, to make up for the want of
those Attractions which she saw in her Sister, Poor
Daphne was seldom submitted to in a Debate wherein
she was concerned; her Discourse had nothing to re,
commend it but the good Sense of it, and she was always
under a necessity to have very well considered what she
was to say before she uttered it; while Laettiia was
listened to with Partiality, and Approbation sat in the
Countenances of those she conversed with, before she
communicated what she had to say, These Causes have
produced suitable Effects, and Letitia is as insipid a
Companion, as Daphne is an agreeable one, Laetitia,
confident of Favour, has studied no Arts to please;
Daphne, despairing of any Inclination towards her Person,
has depended only on her Merit, Laetitia has always
something in her Air that is sullen, grave, and discon,
solate, Daphne has a Countenance that appears chear,
ful, open, and unconcerned, A Young Gentleman saw
Laetitia this Winter at a Play, and became her Captive,
His Fortune was such, that he wanted very little Intro,
duction to speak his Sentiments to her Father, The
Lover was admitted with the utmost Freedom into the
Family, where a constrained Behaviour, severe Looks,
and distant Civilities, were the highest Favours he could
obtain of Laetitia; while Daphne used him with the
good Humour, Familiarity, and Innocence of a Sister
Insomuch, that he would often say to her, Dear Daphne,
wert thou but as Handsome as Laetitia I —She received
such Language with that ingenuous and pleasing Mirth,
which is natural to a Woman without Design, He still
sighed in vain for Laettita, but found certain Relief
in the agreeable Conversation of Daphne, At length,
heartily tired with the haughty Impertinence of Lactitia,
and charmed with repeated Instances of good Humour
he had observed in Daphne, he one Day told the latter,
that he had something to say to her he hoped she would
be pleased with —   Faith Daphne, continued he, I am
in




122


THE SPECTATOR


No, 33,  in Love with thee, and despise thy Sister sincerely,
Saturday, The manner of his declaring himself gave his Mistress
7ril7.  occasion  for a very hearty Laughter,     Nay, says
he, I knew you would Laugh at me, but I'll ask your
Father, He did so; the Father received his Intelligence
with no less Joy than Surprize, and was very glad he
had now no Care left but for his Beauty, which he
thought he could carry to Market at his Leisure, I do
not know any thing that has pleased me so much a great
while, as this Conquest of my Friend Daphne's, All
her Acquaintance congratulate her upon her Chance,
Medley, and laugh at that premeditating Murderer her
Sister, As it is an Argument of a light Mind, to think
the worse of our selves for the Imperfections of our
Persons, it is equally below us to value our selves upon
the Advantages of them, The Female World seem to
be almost incorrigibly gone astray in this Particular;
for which Reason, I shall recommend the following
Extract out of a Friend's Letter to the Profess'd Beauties,
who are a People almost as unsufferable as the Profess'd
Wits,
'Monsieur St, Evremont has concluded one of his
Essays, with affirming, that the last Sighs of a handsom
Woman are not so much for the Loss of her Life, as
of her Beauty, Perhaps this Raillery is pursued too far,
yet it is turned upon a very obvious Remark, that
Woman's strongest Passion is for her own Beauty, and
that she values it as her Favourite Distinction, From
hence it is that all Arts, which pretend to improve or
preserve it, meet with so general a Reception among the
Sex, To say nothing of many false Helps, and Contra,
band Wares of Beauty, which are daily vended in this
great Mart, there is not a MaidenGentlewoman, of a
good Family in any Country of South-Britain, who has
not heard of the Virtues of MayDew, or is unfurnished
with some Receipt or other in Favour of her Come
plexion; and I have known a Physician of Learning
and Sense, after Eight Years Study in the University,
and a Course of Travels into most Countries of Europe,
owe the first raising of his Fortunes to a Cosmetick
Wash,
This




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123


This has given me Occasion to consider how      so No. 33.
Universal a Disposition in Womankind, which springs Saturday,
from a laudable Motive, the Desire of Pleasing, and lApil71
proceeds upon an Opinion, not altogether groundless,
that Nature may be helped by Art, may be turned to
their Advantage, And, methinks, it would be an ac,
ceptable Service to take them out of the Hands of Quacks
and Pretenders, and to prevent their imposing upon
themselves, by discovering to them the true Secret and
Art of improving Beauty,
In order to this, before I touch upon it directly, it
will be necessary to lay down a few Preliminary Maxims,
viz,
That no Woman can be Handsome by the Force of
Features alone, any more than she can be Witty only
by the Help of Speech,
That Pride destroys all Symmetry and Grace, and
Affectation is a more terrible Enemy to fine Faces than
the SmallPox,
That no Woman is capable of being Beautiful, who
is not incapable of being False,
And, That what would be Odious in a Friend, is
Deformity in a Mistress,
From these few Principles, thus laid down, it will
be easie to prove, that the true Art of assisting Beauty
consists in Embellishing the whole Person by the proper
Ornaments of virtuous and commendable Qualities. By
this Help alone it is, that those who are the Favourite
Work of Nature, or, as Mr, Dryden expresses it, the
Porcelain Clay of human Kind, become animated, and
are in a Capacity of exerting their Charms, And those
who seem to have been neglected by her, like Models
wrought in haste, are capable, in a great measure, of
finishing what She has left imperfect
It is, methinks, a low and degrading Idea of that Sex,
which was created to refine the Joys, and soften the
Cares of Humanity, by the most agreeable Participation,
to consider them meerly as Objects of Sight, This is
abridging them of their natural Extent of Power, to put
them upon a Level with their Pictures at Kneller's. How
much nobler is the Contemplation of Beauty heightened
by




124            THE SPECTATOR
No, 33,  by Virtue, and commanding our Esteem       and Love,
Saturday, while it draws our Observation? How faint and spirits
l7, less are the Charms of a Coquet, when compared with
the real Loveliness of Sophronia's Innocence, Piety, good
Humour and Truth; Virtues which add a new Softness
to her Sex, and even beautifie her Beauty  That Agrees
ableness, which must otherwise have appeared no longer
in the modest Virgin, is now preserved in the tender
Mother, the prudent Friend, and the faithful Wife,
Colours artfully spread upon Canvas may entertain the
Eye, but not affect the Heart; and she, who takes no
Care to add to the natural Graces of her Person any
excelling Qualities, may be allowed still to amuse, as a
Picture, but not to triumph as a Beauty,
When    Adam    is introduced by  Milton describing
Eve in Paradise, and relating to the Angel the Im,
pressions he felt upon seeing her at her first Creation,
he does not represent her like a Grecian Venus, by
her Shape or Features, but by the Lustre of her Mind
which shone in them, and gave them their Power of
charming,
Grace was in all her Steps, Heaven in her Eye,
In all her Gestures Dignity and Love,
Without this irradiating Power the proudest Fair
One ought to know, whatever her Glass may tell her
to the contrary, that her most perfect Features are Uninform'd and Dead,
I cannot better close this Moral, than by a short
Epitaph written by Ben, Johnson, with a Spirit which
nothing could inspire but such an Object as I have
been describing;
Underneath this Stone doth lye
As much Virtue as cou'd diel
Which when alive did Vigour give
To as much Beauty as cou'd live,
I am, Sir,
Your most humble Servantf
R                                               R, Bo'


Monday




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125


No. 34                                               No. 34,
N~, 4,                                 Monday,
LADDISON,]                           Monday, April 9. April,
Parcit               1711,
Cognatis maculis similis fera —,-Juv,
HE Club of which I am a Member, is very luckily
composed of such Persons as are engaged in dif,
ferent Ways of Life, and deputed as it were out of the
most conspicuous Classes of Mankind: By this Means
I am furnished with the greatest Variety of Hints and
Materials, and know every thing that passes in the
different Quarters and Divisions, not only of this great
City, but of the whole Kingdom, My Readers too have
the Satisfaction to find, that there is no Rank or Degree
among them who have not their Representative in this
Club, and that there is always some Body present who
will take Care of their respective Interests, that nothing
may be written or published to the Prejudice or In,
fringement of their just Rights and Privileges,
I last Night sat very late in Company with this select
Body of Friends, who entertained me with several
Remarks which they and others had made upon these
my Speculations, as also with the various Success which
they had met with among their several Ranks and
Degrees of Readers,  WILL HONEYCOMB told me, in the
softest manner he could, that there were some Ladies
(but for your Comfort, says WLL., they are not those
of the most Wit) that were offended at the Liberties
I had taken with the Opera and the PuppetShows
That some of them were likewise very much surprised,
that I should think such serious Points as the Dress
and Equipage of Persons of Quality, proper Subjects for
Raillery,
He was going on, when Sir ANDREW FREEPORT took
him up short, and told him, that the Papers he
hinted at had done great Good in the City, and that all
their Wives and Daughters were the better for them:
And further added, that the whole City thought them,
selves very much obliged to me for declaring my gener,
ous Intentions to scourge Vice and Folly as they appear
in a Multitude, without condescending to be a Publisher
of




126


THE SPECTATOR


No, 34,  of particular Intreagues and Cuckoldoms, In short, says
Monday, Sir ANDREW, if you avoid that foolish beaten Road of
April 9  falling upon Aldermen and Citizens, and employ your
Pen upon the Vanity and Luxury of Courts, your Paper
must needs be of general Use,
Upon this my Friend the TEMPLER told Sir ANDREW,
That he wondered to hear a Man of his Sense talk after
that manner; that the City had always been the Province
for Satyr; and that the Wits of King Charles's Time
jested upon nothing else during his whole Reign, He
then shewed, by the Examples of Horace, Juvenal,
Boileau, and the best Writers of every Age, that the
Follies of the Stage and Court had never been accounted
too sacred for Ridicule, how great soever the Persons
might be that patroniz'd them, But after all, says he,
I think your Raillery has made too great an Excursion,
in attacking several Persons of the Inns of Court; and
I do not believe you can shew me any Precedent for
your Behaviour in that Particular,
My good Friend Sir ROGER DE COVERLEY, who had
said nothing all this while, began his Speech with a
Pish I and told us, That he wondered to see so many
Men of Sense so very serious upon Fooleries, Let our
good Friend, says he, attack every one that deserves
it, I would only advise you, Mr, SPECTATOR, applying
himself to me, to take care how you meddle with
Country Squires: They are the Ornaments of the English
Nation; Men of Good Heads and sound Bodies! and let
me tell you, some of them take it ill of you, that you
mention Foxhunters with so little Respect,
Captain SENTRY spoke very sparingly on this Occasion, What he said was only to commend my Prudence
in not touching upon the Army, and advised me to
continue to act discreetly in that Point,
By this time I found every Subject of my Speculations was taken away from me, by one or other of
the Club; and began to think my self in the Condition
of the good Man that had one Wife who took a Dislike
to his grey Hairs, and another to his black, till by their
picking out what each of them had an Aversion to,
they left his Head altogether bald and naked,
While




THE SPECTATOR


127


While I was thus musing with my self, my worthy No. 34.
Friend the Clergyman, who, very luckily for me, was at Monday,
the Club that Night, undertook my Cause, He told us, A1il 9,
that he wondered any Order of Persons should think
themselves too considerable to be advis'd: That it was
not Quality, but Innocence, which exempted Men from
Reproof: That Vice and Folly ought to be attacked whereever they could be met with, and especially when they
were placed in high and conspicuous Stations of Life,
He further added, That my Paper would only serve to
aggravate the Pains of Poverty, if it chiefly exposed
those who are already depress'd, and in some measure
turned into Ridicule, by the Meanness of their Conditions and Circumstances, He afterwards proceeded to
take Notice of the great Use this Paper might be of to
the Publick, by reprehending those Vices which are too
trivial for the Chastisement of the Law, and too fantastical for the Cognizance of the Pulpit, He then
advised me to prosecute my Undertaking with Chearfulness; and assured me, that whoever might be disv
pleased with me, I should be approved by all those
whose Praises do Honour to the Persons on whom
they are bestowed,
The whole Club pays a particular Deference to the
Discourse of this Gentleman, and are drawn into what
he says, as much by the candid ingenuous Manner
with which he delivers himself, as by the Strength of
Argument and Force of Reason which he makes use
of,  WLL. HoNEYcoM   immediately agreed, that what
he had said was right; and that for his Part, he would
not insist upon the Quarter which he had demanded
for the Ladies,  Sir ANDRF     gave up the City with
the same Frankness,    The TEMPLER would not stand
out; and was followed by Sir ROGER and the CAPTAIN:
Who all agreed that I should be at Liberty to carry the
War into what Quarter I pleased; provided I continued
to combat with Criminals in a Body, and to assault the
Vice without hurting the Person,
This Debate, which was held for the Good of Mankind, put me in mind of that which the Roman Tri,
umvirate were formerly engaged in, for their Destruction,
Every




128


THE SPECTATOR


No, 34,  Every Man at first stood hard for his Friend, till they
Monday, found that by this Means they should spoil their Pro,
April 9, scription, And at length, making a Sacrifice of all their
Acquaintance and Relations, furnished out a very decent
Execution,
Having thus taken my Resolutions to march on boldly
in the Cause of Virtue and good Sense, and to annoy
their Adversaries in whatever Degree or Rank of Men
they may be found, I shall be deaf for the future to all
the Remonstrances that shall be made to me on this
Account, If Punch grows extravagant, I shall reprimand
him very freely? If the Stage becomes a Nursery of
Folly and Impertinence, I shall not be afraid to animadvert upon it, In short, If I meet with any thing
in City, Court, or Country, that shocks Modesty or good
Manners, I shall use my utmost Endeavours to make an
Example of it  I must however intreat every particular
Person, who does me the Honour to be a Reader of
this Paper, never to think himself, or any one of his
Friends or Enemies, aimed at in what is said, For I
promise him, never to draw a faulty Character which
does not fit at least a Thousand People; or to publish a
single Paper, that is not written in the Spirit of Bene,
volence, and with a love to Mankind,               C
No, 35,
[ADDISON,]                          Tuesday, April 10,
Risu inepto res ineptior nulla est,-Catull,
MONG all kinds of Writing, there is none in which
Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works
of Humour, as there is none in which they are more
ambitious to excel, It is not an Imagination that teems
with Monsters, an Head that is filled with extravagant
Conceptions, which is capable of furnishing the World
with Diversions of this nature; and yet if we look into
the Productions of several Writers, who set up for Men
of Humour, what wild irregular Fancies, what unnatural
Distortions of Thought, do we meet with? If they speak
Nonsense, they believe they are talking Humour; and
when they have drawn together a Scheme of absurd
inconsistent




THE SPECTATOR


129


inconsistent Ideas, they are not able to read it over to No, 35,
themselves without laughing. These poor Gentlemen Tuesday,
endeavour to gain themselves the Reputation of Wits Ail110'
and Humourists, by such monstrous Conceits as almost
qualifie them for Bedlam; not considering that Humour
should always lye under the Check of Reason, and that
it requires the Direction of the nicest Judgment, by so
much the more as it indulges it self in the most bounds
less Freedoms, There is a kind of Nature that is to be
observed in this sort of Compositions, as well as in all
other; and a certain Regularity of Thought which must
discover the Writer to be a Man of Sense, at the same
time that he appears altogether given up to Caprice
For my part, when I read the delirious Mirth of an
unskilful Author, I cannot be so barbarous as to divert
my self with it, but am  rather apt to pity the Man,
than to laugh at any thing he writes,
The Deceased Mr. Shadwell, who had himself a great
deal of the Talent which I am treating of, represents an
empty Rake, in one of his Plays, as very much surprized
to hear one say that breaking of Windows was not
Humour and I question not but several English Readers
will be as much startled to hear me affirm, that many of
those raving incoherent Pieces, which are often spread
among us, under odd Chymerical Titles, are rather the
Offsprings of a distempered Brain, than Works of Humour,
It is indeed much easier to describe what is not
Humour, than what is; and very difficult to define it
otherwise than as Cowley has done Wit, by Negatives,
Were I to give my own Notions of it, I would deliver
them after Plato's manner, in a kind of Allegory, and
by supposing Humour to be a Person, deduce to him all
his Qualifications, according to the following Genealogy,
TRUTH was the Founder of the Family, and the Father
of GOOD SENSE, GOOD SENSE was the Father of Wrr, who
married a Lady of a Collateral Line called MIRH, by
whom   he had issue HuMoUR,   HUMouR therefore being
the youngest of this Illustrious Family, and descended
from Parents of such different Dispositions, is very
various and unequal in his Temper; sometimes you see
him putting on grave Looks and a solemn Habit, someI                    times




130


THE SPECTATOR


No,35,  times airy in his Behaviour and fantastick in his Dress,
Tuesday, Insomuch that at different times he appears as serious as a
A7ril 10, Judge, and as jocula asas a MerryAndrew, But as he has
a great deal of the Mother in his Constitution, whatever
Mood he is in, he never fails to make his Company laugh,
But since there is an Impostor abroad, who takes upon
him the Name of this young Gentleman, and would
willingly pass for him in the World; to the end that
wellmeaning Persons may not be imposed upon by
Cheats, I would desire my Readers, when they meet
with this Pretender, to look into his Parentage, and to
examine him strictly, whether or no he be remotely
allied to TRUTH, and lineally descended from GooD SENSE;
if not, they may conclude him a Counterfeit, They
may likewise distinguish him by a loud and excessive
Laughter, in which he seldom gets his Company to join
with him, For as TRUE HuMouR generally looks serious,
while every Body laughs about him; FALSE HUMOUR is
always laughing, whilst every Body about him looks
serious, I shall only add, if he has not in him a Mixture
of both Parents, that is, if he would pass for the Offspring
of WIT without MmTH, or MmTrH without Wrr, you may
conclude him to be altogether Spurious, and a Cheat
The Impostor of whom I am speaking, descends Origin,
ally from FALSEHOOD, who was the Mother of NONSENSE,
who was brought to Bed of a Son called FRENZY, who
Married one of the Daughters of FOLLY, commonly
known by the Name of LAUGHTER, on whom he begot
that Monstrous Infant of which I have been here speaking, I shall set down at length the Genealogical Table
of FALSE HUMOUR, and, at the same time, place under it
the Genealogy of TRUE HUMOUR, that the Reader may at
one View behold their different Pedigrees and Relations,
FALSEHOOD,
NONSENSE,
FRENZY.-    LAUGHTER,
FALSE HUMOUR,
TRUTH,
GOOD SENSE,
Wrr, I- MNRTH
HUMOUR,                      I




THE SPECTATOR


131


I might extend the Allegory, by mentioning several No. 35.
of the Children of FALSE HUMOUR, who are more in Tuesda,
Number than the Sands of the Sea, and might in parti April 10,
cular enumerate the many Sons and Daughters which 1711
he has begot in this Island, But as this would be a
very invidious Task, I shall only observe in general,
that FALSE HUMouR differs from the TRUE, as a Monkey
does from a Man,
First of all, He is exceedingly given to little Apish
Tricks and Buffooneries,
Secondly, He so much delights in Mimickry, that it
is all one to him  whether he exposes by it Vice and
Folly, Luxury and Avarice; or, on the contrary, Virtue
and Wisdom, Pain and Poverty,
Thirdly, He is wonderfully unlucky, insomuch that
he will bite the Hand that feeds him, and endeavour to
ridicule both Friends and Foes indifferently, For having
but small Talents, he must be merry where he can,
not where he should,
Fourthly, Being entirely void of Reason, he pursues no
Point either of Morality or Instruction, but is Ludicrous
only for the sake of being so,
Fifthly, Being incapable of having any thing but
MockRepresentations, his Ridicule is always Personal,
and aimed at the Vicious Man, or the Writer; not at
the Vice, or at the Writing,
I have here only pointed at the whole Species of
False Humourists, but as one of my principal Designs in
this Paper is to beat down that malignant Spirit, which
discovers it self in the Writings of the present Age, I
shall not scruple, for the future, to single out any of
the small Wits, that infest the World with such Comr
positions as are ill-natured, immoral, and absurd, This
is the only Exception which I shall make to the General
Rule I have prescribed my self, of attacking Multitudess
Since eyery honest Man ought to look upon himself as
in a Natural State of War with the Libeller and Lame
pooner, and to annoy them where-ever they fall in his
way. This is but retaliating upon them, and treating
them as they treat others,                         C
Wednesday




132


THE SPECTATOR


NQ, 36, No, 36,
Wednes. [STEELE,]                          Wednesday, April 11,
day,
Apil 1                    --- Immania monstra
171,               Perferimus —,-Virg,
SHALL not put my self to any further Pains or this
Day's Entertainment, than barely to publish the
Letters and Titles of Petitions from the Playhouse, with
the Minutes I have made upon the Latter for my Conduct
in Relation to them,
'DruryLane, March the 9th,
Upon reading the Project which is set forth in one
of your late Papers, of making an Alliance between all
the Bulls, Bears, Elephants, and Lions, which are separ,
ately exposed to publick View in the Cities of London
and Westminster; together with the other Wonders,
Shows, and Monsters, whereof you made respective
Mention in the said Speculation; We, the chief Actors
of this Playhouse, met and sate upon the said Design,
It is with great Delight that we expect the Execution of
this Work; and in order to contribute to it, we have
given Warning to all our Ghosts to get their Livelihoods
where they can, and not to appear among us after Day,
break of the 16th Instant, We are resolved to take this
Opportunity to part with every thing which does not
contribute to the Representation of human Life; and
shall make a free Gift of all animated Utensils to your
Projector, The Hangings you formerly mentioned are
run away; as are likewise a Sett of Chairs, each of
which was met upon two Legs going through the Rose
Tavern at two this Morning, We hope, Sir, you will
give proper Notice to the Town that we are endeavouring at these Regulations; and that we intend for the
future to shew  no Monsters, but Men who are con,
verted into such by their own Industry and Affectation,
If you will please to be at the House to Night, you
will see me do my Endeavour to shew some unnatural
Appearances which are in vogue among the Polite and
Wellbred,  I am  to represent, in the Character of a
fine Lady dancing, all the Distortions which are frequently taken for Graces in Mien and Gesture, This,
Sir




THE SPECTATOR


133


Sir, is a Specimen of the Method we shall take to ex- No, 36,
pose the Monsters which come within the Notice of a Wednesregular Theatre; and we desire nothing more gross day,
April II,'
may be admitted by you Spectators for the future, We 1711,
have cashier'd three Companies of Theatrical Guards, and
design our Kings shall for the future make Love, and
sit in Council, without an Army; and wait only your
Direction, whether you will have them reinforce King
Porus, or join the Troops of Macedon, Mr, Pinkethman
resolves to consult his Pantheon of Heathen Gods in
Opposition to the Oracle of Delphos, and doubts not but
he shall turn the Fortunes of Porus, when he personates
him,  I am   desired by the Company to inform  you,
that they submit to your Censures; and shall have you
in greater Veneration than Hercules was in of old, if you
can drive Monsters from the Theatre; and think your
Merit will be as much greater than his, as to convince
is more than to conquer,
I am, Sir,
Your most obedient Servant,
T. D/
'Sir,
When I acquaint you with the great and unexpected
Vicissitudes of my Fortune, I doubt not but I shall obtain
your Pity and Favour, I have for many Years last past
been Thunderer to the Playhouse; and have not only
made as much Noise out of the Clouds as any Predecessor of mine in the Theatre that ever bore that
Character, but also have descended and spoke on the
Stage, as the bold Thunder in the Rehearsal,  When
they got me down thus low, they thought fit to degrade
me further, and make me a Ghost, I was contented
with this for these two last Winters; but they carry
their Tyranny still further, and not satisfied that I am
banished from  above Ground, they have given me to
understand that I am wholly to depart their Dominions,
and taken from me even my subterraneous Employs
ment, Now, Sir, what I desire of you is, that if your
Undertaker thinks fit to use Fire-Arms (as other Authors
have done) in the Time of Alexander, I may be a
Cannon against Porus, or else provide for me in the
Burning




134          THE SPECTATOR
No, 36,  Burning of Persepolis, or what other Method you shall
Wednes- think fit,
day,,
April,                        Salmoneus of Covent-Garden,'
1711,     The Petition of all the Devils of the Play-house in
behalf of themselves and Families, setting forth their Expulsion from thence, with Certificates of their good Life
and Conversation, and praying Relief,
The Merit of this Petition referred to Mr, Chr, Rich,
who made them Devils,
The Petition of the Grave-digger in Hamlet, to command the Pioneers in the Expedition of Alexander,
Granted,
The Petition of William Bullock, to be Hephestion
to Pinkethman the Great,
Granted,
ADVERTISEMENT,
A Widow Gentlewoman, well born both by Father
and Mother's Side, being the Daughter of Thomas
Prater, once an eminent Practitioner in the Law, and
of Letitia Tattle, a Family well known in all Parts
of this Kingdom, having been reduced by Misfortunes
to wait on several great Persons, and for some time
to be Teacher at a Boarding-School of young Ladies,
giveth Notice to the Publick, That she hath lately
taken a House near Bloomsbury-Square, commodiously
situated next the Fields in a good Airy where she
teaches all Sorts of Birds of the loquacious Kind, as
Parrots, Starlings, Magpies, and  others, to imitate
human Voices in greater Perfection than ever yet
was practised, They are not only instructed to pronounce Words distinctly, and in a proper Tone and
Accent, but to speak the Language with great Purity
and Volubility of Tongue, together with all the fashions
able Phrases and Compliments now in use either at
TeaTables or visiting Days, Those that have good
Voices may be taught to sing the newest Opera-Airs,
and, if required, to speak either Italian or French, paying something extraordinary above the common Rates.
They whose Friends are not able to pay the full Ptrces
may be taken as HalfeBoarders. She teaches such as
are




THE SPECTATOR


135


are designed for the Diversion of the Publick, and to No, 36,
act in enchanted Woods on the Theatres, by the Great Wednes,
As she has often observed with much Concern howday,
April It,
indecent an Education is usually given these innocent 1711,
Creatures, which in some Measure is owing to their
being placed in Rooms next the Street, where, to the
great Offence of chaste and tender Ears, they learn
Ribaldry, obscene Songs, and immodest Expressions
from Passengers and idle People, as also to cry Fish
and Card-matches, with other useless Parts of Learns
ing to Birds who have rich Friends, she has fitted up
proper and neat Apartments for them in the back
Part of her said House   where she suffers none to
approach them but her self, and a Servant Maid who
is deaf and dumb, and whom she provided on purpose
to prepare their Food and cleanse their Cages/ having
found by long Experience how hard a thing it is for
those to keep Silence who have the Use of Speech,
and the Dangers her Scholars are exposed to by the
strong Impressions that are made by harsh Sounds
and vulgar Dialects, In short, if they are Birds of
any Parts or Capacity, she will undertake to render
them so accomplished in the Compass of a Twelves
month, that they shall be fit Conversation for such
Ladies as love to chuse their Friends and Companions
out of this Species,
No, 37,
[ADDISON,]                       Thursday, April 12,
— Non ila colo calathisve Minervae
Femineas assueta manus --—,-Virg,
SOME Months ago, my Friend Sir ROGER, being in
the Country, enclosed a Letter to me, directed to a
certain Lady whom I shall here call by the Name of
Leonora, and as it contained Matters of Consequence,
desired me to deliver it to her with my own Hand,
Accordingly I waited upon her Ladyship pretty early in
the Morning, and was desired by her Woman to walk
into her Lady's Library, till such time as she was in a
Readiness to receive me, The very sound of a Lady's
Library




136.L"E SPECTATOR


No, 37,  Library gave me a great Curiosity to see it; and, as it
Thursday, was some time before the Lady came to me, I had an
Apil 12, Opportunity of turning over a great many of her Books,
which were ranged together in a very beautiful Order,
At the End of the Folios (which were finely bound
and gilt) were great Jars of China placed one above
another in a very noble piece of Architecture, The
Quartos were separated from the Octavos by a pile of
smaller Vessels, which rose in a delightful Pyramid,
The Octavos were bounded by Tea Dishes of all Shapes
Colours and Sizes, which were so disposed on a wooden
Frame, that they looked like one continued Pillar indented
with the finest Strokes of Sculpture, and stained with
the greatest Variety of Dyes, That Part of the Library
which was designed for the Reception of Plays and
Pamphlets, and other loose Papers, was inclosed in a kind
of Square, consisting of one of the prettiest Grotesque
Works that ever I saw, and made up of Scaramouches,
Lions, Monkies, Mandarines, Trees, Shells, and a thousand
other odd Figures in China Ware, In the midst of the Room
was a little Japan Table, with a Quire of gilt Paper
upon it, and on the Paper a Silver Snuffbox made in
the Shape of a little Book, I found there were several
other Counterfeit Books upon the upper Shelves, which
were carved in Wood, and served only to fill up the
Number, like Faggots in the Muster of a Regiment   I
was wonderfully pleased with such a mixt kind of Furni,
ture, as seemed very suitable both to the Lady and the
Scholar, and did not know at first whether I should fancy
my self in a Grotto, or in a Library,
Upon my looking into the Books, I found there were
some few which the Lady had bought for her own use,
but that most of them had been got together, either
because she had heard them praised, or because she
had seen the Authors of them, Among several that I
examined, I very well remember these that follow,
Ogleby's Virgil,
Dryden's Juvenal,
Cassandra,
Cleopatra,
Astraea,
Sir




THE SPECTATOR                     137
Sir Isaac Newton's Works,                          No, 37,
The Grand Cyruss with a Pin stuck in one of the Thursday,
middle Leaves,                                        pri 12,
Pembroke's Arcadia,
Lock of Human Understandings with a Paper of
Patches in it,
A Spelling Book,
A Dictionary for the Explanation of hard Words,
Sherlock upon Death,
The fifteen Comforts of Matrimony,
Sir William  Temple's Essays,
Father Malbranche's Search   after Truth, translated
into English.
A Book of Novels,
The Academy of Compliments,
Culpepper's Midwifery,
The Ladies' Calling,
Tales in Verse by Mr, Durfey: Bound in Red Leather,
gilt on the Back, and doubled down in several Places,
All the Classick Authors in Wood,
A Set of Elzivers by the same Hand,
Clelia  Which opened of it self in the Place that
describes two Lovers in a Bower,
Baker's Chronicle,
Advice to a Daughter,
The New Atalantis, with a Key to it,
Mr, Steele's Christian Heroe,
A  Prayer Book   With a Bottle of Hungary Water
by the side of it,
Dr, Sacheverell's Speech,
Fielding's Tryal,
Seneca's Morals,
Taylor's Holy Living and Dying,
La Ferte's Instructions for Country Dances,
I was taking a Catalogue in my PocketBook of these,
and several other Authors, when Leonora entred, and
upon my presenting her with the Letter from the Knight,
told me, with an unspeakable Grace, that she hoped
Sir ROGER was in good Health; I answered Yes, for I
hate long Speeches, and after a Bow or two retired,
Leonora




138


THE SPECTATOR


No, 37,   Leonora was formerly a celebrated Beauty, and is
Thursday, still a very lovely Woman,  She has been a Widow for
April 12, two or three Years, and being unfortunate in her first
Marriage, has taken a Resolution never to venture upon
a second, She has no Children to take care of, and leaves
the Management of her Estate to my good Friend Sir
ROGER, But as the Mind naturally sinks into a kind of
Lethargy, and falls asleep, that is not agitated by some
Favourite Pleasures and Pursuits, Leonora has turned
all the Passions of her Sex into a love of Books and
Retirement She converses chiefly with Men (as she has
often said herself) but it is only in their Writings; and
admits of very few Male Visitants, except my Friend
Sir ROGER, whom she hears with great Pleasure, and
without Scandal, As her Reading has lain very much
among Romances, it has given her a very particular Turn
of Thinking, and discovers it self even in her House,
her Gardens, and her Furniture, Sir ROGER has enter,
tained me an Hour together with a Description of her
CountrySeat, which is situated in a kind of Wilderness,
about an hundred   Miles distant from  London, and
looks like a little enchanted Palace, The Rocks about her
are shaped into Artificial Grottoes, covered with Woodbines and Jessamines, The woods are cut into shady
Walks, twisted into Bowers, and filled with Cages of
Turtles, The Springs are made to run among Pebbles,
and by that means taught to murmur very agreeably,
They are likewise collected into a beautiful Lake, that is
inhabited by a Couple of Swans, and empties it self by a
little Rivulet which runs through a green Meadow, and is
known in the Family by the Name of The Purling Stream,
The Knight likewise tells me, that this Lady preserves her
Game better than any of the Gentlemen in the Country
not (says Sir ROGER) that she sets so great a Value upon
her Partridges and Pheasants, as upon her Larks and
Nightingales,  For she says that every Bird which is
killed in her Ground, will spoil a Consort, and that she
shall certainly miss him the next Year,
When I think how odly this Lady is improved by
Learning, I look upon her with a mixture of Admiration
and Pity, Amidst these innocent Entertainments which
she




THE SPECTATOR


139


she has formed to her self, how much more Valuable No, 37,
does she appear than those of her Sex, who employ Thursday
themselves in Diversions that are less Reasonable, though Afil1 12
more in Fashion? What Improvements would a Woman
have made, who is so susceptible of Impressions from
what she reads, had she been guided to such Books as
have a tendency to enlighten the Understanding and
rectifie the Passions, as well as to those which are of
little more use than to divert the Imagination?
But the manner of a Lady's employing her self usefully
in Reading shall be the Subject of another Paper, in which
I design to recommend such particular Books as may be
proper for the Improvement of the Sex, And as this is a
Subject of a very nice Nature, I shall desire my Corre,
spondents to give me their Thoughts upon it,
No, 38,
[STEELE,]                            Friday, April 13,
--- Cupias non placuisse nmis,-Mart,
A    LATE Conversation which I fell into, gave me an
Opportunity of observing a great deal of Beauty
in a very handsome Woman, and as much Wit in an
ingenious Man, turned into Deformity in the one, and
Absurdity in the other, by the meer Force of Affectation,
The Fair One had something in her Person upon which
her Thoughts were fixed, that she attempted to shew to
Advantage in every Look, Word, and Gesture,    The
Gentleman was as diligent to do Justice to his fine Parts,
as the Lady to her beauteous Form, You might see his
Imagination on the Stretch to find out something un,
common, and what they call bright, to entertain her;
while she writhed her self into as many different Postures
to engage him, When she laughed, her Lips were to
sever at a greater Distance than ordinary to shew her
Teeth   Her Fan was to point to somewhat at a Distance,
that in the Reach she may discover the Roundness of her
Arm; then she is utterly mistaken in what she saw,
falls back, smiles at her own Folly, and is so wholly
discomposed, that her Tucker is to be adjusted, her Bosom
exposed, and the whole Woman put into new Airs and
Graces




140            THE SPECTATOR
No, 38,  Graces, While she was doing all this, the Gallant had
Friday,  time to think of something very pleasant to say next to
Apri 13  her, or make some unkind Observation on some other
Lady to feed her Vanity,   These unhappy Effects of
Affectation naturally led me to look into that strange
State of Mind which so generally discolours the Behavr
iour of most People we meet with,
The learned Dr, Burnet, in his Theory of the Earth,
takes occasion to observe, That every Thought is attended
with Consciousness and Representativeness; the Mind
has nothing presented to it but what is immediately
followed by a Reflection or Conscience, which tells you
whether that which was so presented is graceful or unbe,
coming, This Act of the Mind discovers it self in the
Gesture, by a proper Behaviour in those whose Conscious,
ness goes no further than to direct them in the just
Progress of their present Thought or Action; but betrays
an Interruption in every second Thought, when the
Consciousness is employ'd in too fondly approving a
Man's own Conceptions; which sort of Consciousness is
what we call Affectation,
As the Love of Praise is implanted in our Bosoms as a
strong Incentive to worthy Actions, it is a very difficult
Task to get above a Desire of it for things that should be
wholly indifferent Women, whose Hearts are fixed upon
the Pleasure they have in the Consciousness that they
are the Objects of Love and Admiration, are ever changing
the Air of their Countenances, and altering the Attitude of
their Bodies, to strike the Hearts of their Beholders with
new Sense of their Beauty, The dressing Part of our
Sex, whose Minds are the same with the sillier Part of
the other, are exactly in the like uneasie Condition to be
regarded for a well tied Cravat, an Hat cocked with an
unusual Briskness, a very wellchosen Coat, or other
Instances of Merit, which they are impatient to see un,
observed,
But this apparent Affectation, arising from  an ill1
governed Consciousness, is not so much to be wondered
at in such loose and trivial Minds as these  But when
you see it reign in Characters of Worth and Distinction,
it is what you cannot but lament, not without some
Indignation




THE SPECTATOR


141


Indignation, It creeps into the Heart of the wise Man as No, 38,
well as that of the Coxcomb, When you see a Man of Friday,
Sense look about for Applause, and discover an itching Atil13,
Inclination to be commended; lay Traps for a little
Incense, even from those whose Opinion he values in
nothing but his own Favour; Who is safe against this
Weakness? or who knows whether he is guilty of it or
not 1 The best way to get clear of such a light Fondness
for Applause, is, to take all possible Care to throw off the
Love of it upon Occasions that are not in themselves
laudable; but, as it appears, we hope for no Praise from
them, Of this Nature are all Graces in Men's Persons,
Dress, and bodily Deportment; which will naturally be
winning and attractive if we think not of them, but lose
their Force in proportion to our Endeavour to make them
such,
When our Consciousness turns upon the main Design
of Life, and our Thoughts are employed upon the chief
Purpose either in Business or Pleasure, we shall never
betray an Affectation, for we cannot be guilty of its But
when we give the Passion for Praise an unbridled Liberty,
our Pleasure in little Perfections robs us of what is due to
us for great Virtues, and worthy Qualities, How many
excellent Speeches and honest Actions are lost, for want
of being indifferent where we ought? Men are oppressed
with regard to their Way of speaking and acting, instead
of having their Thought bent upon what they should do
or say; and by that means bury a Capacity for great
things, by their fear of failing in indifferent things, This,
perhaps, cannot be called Affectation; but it has some
Tincture of it, at least so far, as that their fear of erring
in a thing of no Consequence, argues they would be too
much pleased in performing it,
It is only from a thorough Disregard to himself in such
Particulars, that a Man can act with a laudable Sufficiency I
His Heart is fixed upon one Point in view; and he comn
mits no Errors, because he thinks nothing an Error but
what deviates from that Intention,
The wild Havock Affectation makes in that Part of the
World which should be most polite, is visible where/ever
we turn our Eyes: It pushes Men not only into Imo
pertinences




142


THE SPECTATOR


No 38,  pertinences in Conversation, but also in their pre,
Friday,  meditated Speeches, At the Bar it torments the Bench,
ffil13, whose Business it is to cut off all Superfluities in what
is spoken before it by the Practitioner; as well as
several little Pieces of Injustice which arise from the
Law it self, I have seen it make a Man run from the
Purpose before a Judge, who was, when at the Bar
himself, so close and logical a Pleader, that with all the
Pomp of Eloquence in his Power, he never spoke a
Word too much,
It might be born even here, but it often ascends the
Pulpit it self; and the Declaimer, in that sacred Place, is
frequently so impertinently witty, speaks of the last Day it
self with so many quaint Phrases, that there is no Man
who understands Raillery, but must resolve to sin no more;
Nay, you may behold him sometimes in Prayer, for a
proper Delivery of the great Truths he is to utter, humble
himself with so very well turned Phrase, and mention
his own Unworthiness in a Way so very becoming, that
the Air of the pretty Gentleman is preserved, under the
Lowliness of the Preacher,
I shall end this with a short Letter I writ the other
Day to a very witty Man, overrun with the Fault I am
speaking of,
'Dear Sir,
I spent some Time with you the other Day, and must
take the Liberty of a Friend to tell you of the unsufferable
Affectation you are guilty of in all you say and do, When
I gave you an Hint of it, you asked me whether a Man is to
be cold to what his Friends think of him? No; but Praise
is not to be the Entertainment of every Moments He
that hopes for it must be able to suspend the Possession
of it till proper Periods of Life, or Death it self If you
would not rather be commended than be Praise-worthy,
contemn little Merits; and allow no Man to be so free
with you, as to praise you to your Face, Your Vanity
by this Means will want its Food, At the same time
your Passion for Esteem will be more fully gratified;
Men will praise you in their Actionss Where you now
receive one Compliment, you will then receive twenty
Civilities




THE SPECTATOR


143


Civilities, Till then you will never have of either further No, 38,
than,                                               Friday,
Sir,                         Apil 13,
R                             Your humble Servant,'
No, 39,
[ADDISON.]                          Saturday, April 14,
Multa fero, ut placem genus i'rtabile vatum,
Cum scibo, —    ---  Hor,
A  S a perfect Tragedy is the noblest Production of
human Nature, so it is capable of giving the Mind
one of the most delightful and most improving Entertain,
ments,  A virtuous Man (says Seneca) strugling with
Misfortunes, is such a Spectacle as Gods might look upon
with Pleasure  And such a Pleasure it is which one meets
with in the Representation of a wellwritten Tragedy,
Diversions of this kind wear out of our Thoughts
every thing that is mean and little, They cherish and
cultivate that Humanity which is the Ornament of our
Nature, They soften Insolence, sooth Affliction, and sub,
due the Mind to the Dispensations of Providence,
It is no Wonder therefore that in all the Polite Nations
of the World, this Part of the Drama has met with Publick
Encouragement,
The Modern Tragedy excels that of Greece and Rome,
in the Intricacy and Disposition of the Fable s but, what a
Christian Writer would be ashamed to own, falls infinitely
short of it in the Moral Part of the Performance,
This I may shew more at large hereafter; and in the
mean time, that I may contribute something towards the
Improvement of the English Tragedy, I shall take notice,
in this and in other following Papers, of some particular
Parts in it that seem liable to Exception,
Aristotle observes, that the lambick Verse in the Greek
Tongue was the most proper for Tragedy 1 Because at the
same time that it lifted up the Discourse from Prose, it
was that which approached nearer to it than any other
kind of Verse. For, says he, we may observe that Men
in ordinary Discourse very often speak lambicks, without
taking Notice of it, We may make the same Observation
of our English Blank Verse, which often enters into our
common




144


THE SPECTATOR


INo, 39,  common Discourse, though we do not attend to it, and is
Saturday, such a due Medium between Rhyme and Prose, that it
^Agril, seems wonderfully adapted to Tragedy, I am therefore
very much offended when I see a Play in Rhyme; which
is as absurd in English, as a Tragedy of Hexameters
would have been in Greek or Latin, The Solaecism is, I
think, still greater, in those Plays that have some Scenes
in Rhyme and some in Blank Verse, which are to be
looked upon as two several Languages; or where we see
some particular Similies dignified with Rhyme, at the same
time that every thing about them lyes in Blank Verse,
I would not however debar the Poet from concluding his
Tragedy, or, if he pleases, every Act of it, with two or
three Couplets, which may have the same Effect as an Air
in the Italian Opera after a long Recitativo, and give the
Actor a graceful Exit, Besides, that we see a Diversity of
Numbers in some Parts of the Old Tragedy, in order to
hinder the Ear from being tired with the same continued
Modulation of Voice, For the same Reason I do not
dislike the Speeches in our English Tragedy that close
with an Hemistick, or half Verse, notwithstanding the
Person who speaks after it begins a new Verse, without
filling up the preceding one; nor with abrupt Pauses and
Breakings-off in the middle of a Verse, when they humour
any Passion that is expressed by it
Since I am upon this Subject, I must observe that our
English Poets have succeeded much better in the Stile,
than in the Sentiments of their Tragedies, Their Language
is very often noble and sonorous, but the Sense either
very trifling or very common, On the contrary, in the
ancient Tragedies, and indeed in those of Corneille and
Racine, tho the Expressions are very great, it is the
Thought that bears them up and swells them, For my
own part, I prefer a noble Sentiment that is depressed
with homely Language, infinitely before a vulgar one that
is blown up with all the Sound and Energy of Expression,
Whether this Defect in our Tragedies may arise from
Want of Genius, Knowledge, or Experience in the Writers,
or from their Compliance with the vicious Taste of their
Readers, who are better Judges of the Lnguage than of
the Sentiments, and consequently relish the one more
than




THE SPECTATOR


145


than the other, I cannot determine, But I believe it might No, 39,
rectifie the Conduct both of the one and of the other, if the Saturda
Writer laid down the whole Contexture of his Dialogue in 171p1
plain English, before he turned it into Blank Verse; and
if the Reader, after the Perusal of a Scene, would consider
the naked Thought of every Speech in it, when divested
of all its Tragick Ornaments:   By this means, without
being imposed upon by Words, we may judge impartially
of the Thought, and consider whether it be natural or
great enough for the Person that utters it, whether it
deserves to shine in such a Blaze of Eloquence, or shew
it self in such a variety of Lights as are generally made
use of by the Writers of our English Tragedy,
I must in the next place observe, that when our
Thoughts are great and just, they are often obscured
by the sounding Phrases, hard Metaphors, and forced
Expressions in which they are cloathed, Shakespear
is often very faulty in this Particular, There is a
fine Observation in Aristotle to this purpose, which
I have never seen quoted, The Expression, says he,
ought to be very much laboured in the unactive Parts
of the Fable, as in Descriptions, Similitudes, Narrations,
and the like; in which the Opinions, Manners, and
Passions of Men are not represented; for these (namely
the Opinions, Manners, and Passions) are apt to be
obscured by pompous Phrases and elaborate Express
sions, Horace, who copy'd most of his Criticisms
after Aristotle, seems to have had his Eye on the
foregoing Rule, in the following Versess
Et tragicus plerumque dolet sermone pedestri
Telephus 6 Peleus, cum pauper 6 exsul uterque
Projicit ampullas & sesquipedalia verba,
Si curat cor spectantis tetigisse querela,
Tragoedlans too lay by their State, to grieve,
Peleus and Telephus, exil'd and poor,
Forget their swelling and gigantick Words,
Ld, Roscommon,
Among our Modern English Poets, there is none
who was better turned for Tragedy than Lee; if instead
of favouring the Impetuosity of his Genius, he had
restrained it, and kept it within its proper Bounds, His
K                  Thoughts




146


THE SPECTATOR


No, 39,  Thoughts   are  wonderfully  suited  to  Tragedy, but
Saturday, frequently lost in such a Cloud of Words, that it is hard; ^11, to see the Beauty of thems There is an infinite Fire
in his Works, but so involved in Smoak, that it does
not appear in half its Lustre, He frequently succeeds
in the passionate Parts of the Tragedy, but more parti
cularly where he slackens his Efforts, and eases the Stile
of those Epithets and Metaphors, in which he so much
abounds, What can be more natural, more soft, or more
passionate, than that Line in Statira's Speech, where
she describes the Charms of Alexander's Conversation?
Then he would falkl Good Gods how he would talkl
That unexpected Break in the Line, and turning the
Description of his manner of Talking into an Admiration
of it, is inexpressibly beautiful, and wonderfully suited to
the fond Character of the Person that speaks it, There
is a Simplicity in the Words, that outshines the utmost
Pride of Expression,
Otway has followed Nature in the Language of his
Tragedy, and therefore shines in the Passionate Parts,
more than any of our English Poets,      As there is
something Familiar and Domestick in the Fable of his
Tragedy, more than in those of any other Poet, he has
little Pomp, but great Force in his Expressions, For
which Reason, tho' he has admirably succeeded in the
tender and melting Part of his Tragedies, he sometimes
falls into too great a Familiarity of Phrase in those Parts,
which, by Aristotle's Rule, ought to have been raised
and supported by the Dignity of Expression,
It has been observed by others, that this Poet has
founded his Tragedy of Venice Preserved on so wrong
a Plot, that the greatest Characters in it are those of
Rebels and Traitors, Had the Hero of his Play discovered
the same good Qualities in the Defence of his Country,
that he shewed    for its Ruin  and   Subversion, the
Audience could not enough pity and admire hims But
as he is now represented, we can only say of him what
the Roman Historian says of Catiline, that his Fall would
have been glorious (si pro Patria sic concidisset) had he
so fallen in the Service of his Country,           C
Monday




THE SPECTATOR


147


No, 40,                                                No, 40,
[ADDISON,]                           Monday, April 16, Monday
Ac ne forte putes me, quae facere ipse recusem,    17,1.
Cum recte tractent ali, laudare maligne
Ille per extentum funem mihi posse videtur
Ire poeta, meum qui pectus inaniter aagit,
Iimtat, mulcet, falsis terroribus implet,
Ut magus, d modo me Thebis, modo ponit Athenis,-Hor,
T    HE English Writers of Tragedy are possessed with
a Notion, that when they represent a virtuous or
innocent Person in Distress, they ought not to leave him
till they have delivered him out of his Troubles, or made
him triumph over his Enemies,    This Error they have
been led into by a ridiculous Doctrine in Modern Criticism,
that they are obliged to an equal Distribution of Rewards
and Punishments, and an impartial Execution of Poetical
Justice, Who were the first that established this Rule I
know not but I am sure it has no Foundation in Nature,
in Reason, or in the Practice of the Ancients, We find
that Good and Evil happen alike to all Men on this Side
the Grave; and as the principal Design of Tragedy is to
raise Commiseration and Terror in the Minds of the
Audience, we shall defeat this great End, if we always
make Virtue and Innocence happy and successful, Whatever Crosses and Disappointments a good Man suffers in
the Body of the Tragedy, they will make but small
Impression on our Minds, when we know that in the
last Act he is to arrive at the End of his Wishes and
Desires, When we see him engaged in the Depth of his
Afflictions, we are apt to comfort our selves, because we
are sure he will find his Way out of them; and that his
Grief, how great soever it may be at present, will soon
terminate in Gladness, For this Reason the ancient
Writers of Tragedy treated Men in their Plays, as they
are dealt with in the World, by making Virtue sometimes
happy and sometimes miserable, as they found it in the
Fable which they made choice of, or as it might affect
their Audience in the most agreeable Manner, Aristotle
considers the Tragedies that were written in either of
these Kinds, and observe      that those which   ended
unhappily, had always pleased the People, and carried
away




148


THE SPECTATOR


o, 40,  away the Prize in the publick Disputes of the Stage, from
Aonda, those that ended happily,  Terror and Commiseration
leave a pleasing Anguish in the Mind; and fix the
Audience in such a serious Composure of Thought, as is
much more lasting and delightful than any little transient
Starts of Joy and Satisfaction, Accordingly we find, that
more of our English Tragedies have succeeded, in which
the Favourites of the Audience sink under their Calamities,
than those in which they recover themselves out of them,
The best Plays of this Kind are the Orphan, Venice
Preserved, Alexander the Great, Theodosius, All for
Love, Oedipus, Oroonoko, Othello, etc, King Lear is
an admirable Tragedy of the same Kind, as Shakespear
wrote it; but as it is reformed according to the chymerical
Notion of Poetical Justice, in my humble Opinion it has
lost half its Beauty, At the same time I must allow, that
there are very noble Tragedies, which have been framed
upon the other Plan, and have ended happily; as indeed
most of the good Tragedies, which have been written
since the starting of the abovementioned Criticism, have
taken this Turn  As the Mourning Bride, Tamerlane,
Ulysses, Phaedra and Hyppolitus, with most of Mr,
Dryden's, I must also allow, that many of Shakespear's,
and several of the celebrated Tragedies of Antiquity, are
cast in the same Form, I do not therefore dispute against
this way of writing Tragedies, but against the criticism
that would establish this as the only Method; and by that
Means would very much cramp the English Tragedy, and
perhaps give a wrong Bent to the Genius of our Writers,
The TragiComedy, which is the Product of the English
Theatre, is one of the most monstrous Inventions that
ever entered into a Poet's Thoughts, An Author might
as well think of weaving the Adventures of lEneas and
Hudibras into one Poem, as of writing such a motly
Piece of Mirth and Sorrow, But the Absurdity of these
Performances is so very visible, that I shall not insist
upon it
The same Objections which are made to TragicComedy,
may in some Measure be applied to all Tragedies that
have a double Plot in them; which are likewise more
frequent upon the English Stage, than upon any others
For




THE SPECTATOR                    149
For though the Grief of the Audience, in such Perform, No, 40,
ances, be not changed into another Passion, as in Tragi, Monday,
Comedies; it is diverted upon another Object, which April16,
weakens their Concern for the principal Action, and
breaks the Tide of Sorrow, by throwing it into different
Channels,   This Inconvenience, however, may in a
great Measure be cured, if not wholly removed, by the
skilful Choice of an UnderPlot, which may bear such
a near Relation to the principal Design, as to contribute
towards the Completion of it, and be concluded by the
same Catastrophe,
There is also another Particular, which may be
reckoned among the Blemishes, or rather the false
Beauties, of our English Tragedys I mean those par,
ticular Speeches which are commonly known by the
Name of Rants, The warm and passionate Parts of a
Tragedy, are always the most taking with the Audience;
for which Reason we often see the Players pronouncing,
in all the Violence of Action, several.Parts of the Tragedy
which the Author writ with great Temper, and designed
that they should have been so acted, I have seen Powell
very often raise himself a loud Clap by this Artifice, The
Poets that were acquainted with this Secret, have given
frequent Occasion for such Emotions in the Actor, by
adding Vehemence to Words where there was no Passion,
or inflaming a real Passion into Fustian,  This hath
filled the Mouths of our Heroes with Bombast; and
given them such Sentiments, as proceed rather from
a Swelling than a Greatness of Mind, Unnatural Ex,
clamations, Curses, Vows, Blasphemies, a Defiance of
Mankind, and an Outraging of the Gods, frequently pass
upon the Audience for tow'ring Thoughts, and have
accordingly met with infinite Applause,
I shall here add a Remark, which I am   afraid our
Tragick Writers may make an ill use of,     As our
Heroes are generally Lovers, their Swelling and Blustring
upon the Stage very much recommends them to the
fair Part of their Audience, The Ladies are wonderfully
pleased to see a Man insulting Kings, or affronting
the Gods, in one Scene, and throwing himself at the
Feet of his Mistress in another, Let him behave himo
self




150            THE SPECTATOR
No, 40,  self insolently towards the Men, and abjectly towards
Monday, the Fair One, and it is ten to one but he proves a
il 16, Favourite of the Boxes, Dryden and Lee, in several
of their Tragedies, have practised this Secret with good
Success,
But to shew   how  a Rant pleases beyond the most
just and natural Thought that is not pronounced with
Vehemence, I would desire the Reader, when he sees
the Tragedy of Oedipus, to observe how quietly the
Hero is dismissed at the End of the third Act, after
having pronounced the following Lines, in which the
Thought is very natural, and apt to move Compassion s
To you, good Gods, I make my last Appeal,
Or clear my Virtues, or my Crimes reveal
If in the Maze of Fate I blindly run,
And backward trod those Paths I sought to shun
Impute my Errors to your own Decree
My Hands are guilty, but my Heart is free,
Let us then observe with what Thunder-claps of Applause
he leaves the Stage, after the Impieties and Execrations
at the End of the fourth Act; and you will wonder to
see an Audience so cursed and so pleased at the same
time,
O that as oft I have at Athens seen,
[Where, by the way, there was no Stage till many
Years after Oedipus,]
The Stage arise, and the big Clouds descend/
So now, in very deed, I might behold
This ponderous Globe, and all yon marble Roof,
Meet, like the Hands of Jove, and crush Mankind,
For all the Elements, &c,
ADVERTISEMENT,
Having spoken of Mr, Powell, as sometimes raising
himself Applause from the ill Taste of an Audience
I must do him the Justice to own, that he is excellently
formed for a Tragcedian, and, when he pleases, deserves
the Admiration of the best JudgesI as I doubt not
but he will in the Conquest of Mexico, which is acted
for his own Benefit To-morrow Night,                C
Tuesday




THE SPECTATOR


151


No, 41,                                             No, 41
[STEELE,]                          Tuesday, April 17, Tues",
— Tu non inventa reperta es,-Ovid,         17l
COMPASSION for the Gentleman who writes the
following Letter, should not prevail upon me to fall
upon the Fair Sex, if it were not that I find they are
frequently Fairer than they ought to be, Such Impostures
are not to be tolerated in Civil Society; and I think his
Misfortune ought to be made publick, as a Warning for
other Men always to Examine into what they Admire,
'Si r,
Supposing you to be a Person of general Knowledge, I
make my Application to you on a very particular Occasion, I have a great mind to be rid of my Wife, and
hope, when you consider my Case, you will be of Opinion
I have very just Pretensions to a Divorce, I am a mere
Man of the Town, and have very little Improvement, but
what I have got from Plays, I remember in The Silent
Woman, the Learned Dr, Cutberd, or Dr, Offer (I forget
which) makes one of the Causes of Separation to be Error
Personae, when a Man marries a Woman, and finds her
not to be the same Woman whom he intended to marry,
but another, If that be Law, it is, I presume, exactly my
Case, For you are to know, Mr, SPECTATOR, that there
are Women who do not let their Husbands see their Faces
till they are married,
Not to keep you in Suspense, I mean plainly, that Part
of the Sex who paint, They are some of them so exquisitely skilful this Way, that give them but a tolerable
Pair of Eyes to set up with, and they will make Bosom,
Lips, Cheeks, and Eyebrows, by their own Industry, As
for my Dear, never Man was so inamour'd as I was of
her fair Forehead, Neck and Arms, as well as the bright
Jett of her Hair; but to my great Astonishment, I find
they were all the Effect of Art     Her Skin is so
tarnished with this Practice, that when she first wakes in
a Morning, she scarce seems young enough to be the
Mother of her whom I carried to Bed the Night before, I
shall take the Liberty to part with her by the first Oppor,
tunity




152            THE SPECTATOR:No, 41, tunity, unless her Father will make her Portion suitable
iTuesday, to her real, not her assumed, Countenance, This I thought
iA7rl, fit to let him and her know by your Means, I am,
' '                  Sir,
Your most Obedient Humble Servant,'
I cannot tell what the Law, or the Parents of the Lady
will do for this Injured Gentleman, but must allow he has
very much Justice on his side, I have indeed very long
observed this Evil, and distinguished those of our Women
who wear their own, from those in borrowed Complexions,
by the Picts and the British, There does not need any
great Discernment to judge which are which, The
British have a lively animated Aspect; The Picts, though
never so Beautiful, have dead uninformed Countenances,
The Muscles of a real Face sometimes swell with soft
Passion, sudden Surprize, and are flushed with agreeable
Confusions, according as the Objects before them, or the
Ideas presented to them, affect their Imagination, But the
Picts behold all things with the same Air, whether they
are Joyful or Sad; he same fixed Insensibility appears
upon all Occasions, A Pict, though she takes all that Pains
to invite the Approach of Lovers, is obliged to keep them
at a certain Distance a Sigh in a Languishing Lover, if
fetched too near her, would dissolve a Feature and a Kiss
snatched by a Forward one, might transfer the Complexion
of the Mistress to the Admirer, It is hard to speak of
these false Fair Ones, without saying something uncom,
plaisant, but I would only recommend to them to consider
how they like coming into a Room new Painted; they
may assure themselves, the near Approach of a Lady who
uses this Practice is much more offensive,
WILL. HONEYCOMB told us, one Day, an Adventure he
once had with a Pict,   This Lady had Wit, as well as
Beauty, at Will; and made it her Business to gain Hearts,
for no other Reason, but to railly the Torments of her
Lovers, She would make great Advances to insnare Men,
but without any manner of Scruple break off when there
was no Provocation, Her IllNature and Vanity made
my Friend very easily Proof against the Charms of her
Wit and Conversation; but her beauteous Form, instead
of




THE SPECTATOR


153


of being blemished by her Falshood and Inconstancy, No. 41.
every Day increased upon him, and she had new Attrace Tuesdaf
tions every time he saw her, When she observed WILLu 17ri  1
irrevocably her Slave, she began to use him as such, and
after many Steps toward such a Cruelty, she at last utterly
banished him, The unhappy Lover strove in vain, by
servile Epistles, to revoke his Doom; till at length he was
forced to the last Refuge, a round Sum of Mony to her
Maid, This corrupt Attendant placed him  early in the
Morning behind the Hangings in her Mistress's Dressings
Room, He stood very conveniently to observe, without
being seen, The Pict begins the Face she designed to
wear that Day, and I have heard him protest she had
worked a full half Hour before he knew her to be the
same Woman, As soon as he saw the Dawn of that
Complexion, for which he had so long languished, he
thought fit to break from his Concealment, repeating that
of Cowleys
Th' adorning Thee with so much Art,
Is but a barb'rous Skill,
'Tis like the Pois'ning of a Dart,
Too apt before to kill,
The Pict stood before him in the utmost Confusion, with
the prettiest Smirk imaginable on the finish'd side of her
Face, pale as Ashes on the other,  HONEYrCOM  seized all
her GallySpots and Washes, and carried off his Handkerchief full of Brushes, Scraps of Spanish Wooll, and Phials of
Unguents, The Lady went into the Country; the Lover
was cured,
It is certain no Faith ought to be kept with Cheats, and
an Oath made to a Pict is of it self void, I would therefore exhort all the British Ladies to single them out, nor
do I know any but Lindamira who should be exempt
from Discovery; for her own Complexion is so delicate,
that she ought to be allowed the Covering it with Paint,
as a Punishment for chusing to be the worst Piece of Art
extant, instead of the Masterpiece of Nature, As for my
Part, who have no Expectations from Women, and conw
sider them only as they are Part of the Species, I do not
half so much fear offending a Beauty as a Woman of Sense;
I




154            THE SPECTATOR
iNo, 41,  I shall therefore produce several Faces which have been in
1 Tuesday, Publick this many Years, and never appeared; it will be a
'pt7l     very pretty Entertainment in the Playhouse (when I
have abolished this Custom) to see so many Ladies, when
they first lay it down, incog, in their own Faces,
In the mean time, as a Pattern for improving their
Charms, let the Sex study the agreeable Statira, Her
Features are enlivened with the Chearfulness of her Mind,
and good Humour gives an Alacrity to her Eyes, She is
Graceful without affecting an Air, and Unconcerned without appearing Careless, Her having no manner of Art
in her Mind, makes her want none in her Person,
How like is this Lady, and how unlike is a Pict, to that
Description Dr, Donne gives of his Mistress?
----- Her pure and eloquent Blood
Spoke in her Cheeks, and so distinctly wrought,
That one would almost say her Body thought,
ADVERTISEMENT,
A young Gentlewoman of about Nineteen Years of
Age (bred in the Family of a Person of Quality lately
deceased) who Paints the Finest Fleshcolour, wants
a Place, and is to be heard of at the House of Minheer
Grotesque, a Dutch Painter in Barbican,
NB, She is also well skilled in the Drapery-partf
and puts on Hoods, and mixes Ribbons so as to suit
the Colours of the Face with great Art and Success,
R
No, 42,
[ADDISON,]                         Wednesday, April 18,
Garganum mugire putes nemus aut mare Tuscum,
Tanto cum strepitu ludi spectantur, & artes,
Divitiaeque peregrinae quibus obltus actor
Cum stetit in scena, concurrit dextera laevae,
Dixit adhuc aliquidl Nil sane, Quid placet ergo?
Lana Tarentino violas imitata veneno,-Hor,
RISTOTLE has observed, that ordinary Writers in
Tragedy endeavour to raise Terror and Pity in
their Audience, not by proper Sentiments and Express
sions, but by the Dresses and Decorations of the Stage,
There is something of this kind very ridiculous in te
English




THE SPECTATOR                     155
English Theatre,   When the Author has a mind to No 42,
terrifie us, it thunders; when he would make us melan- Wednes.
choly, the Stage is darkened, But among all our Tragick day,
Artifices, I am  the most offended at those which are 17i,
made use of to inspire us with magnificent Ideas of the
Persons that speak,  The ordinary Method of making
an Hero, is to clap a huge Plume of Feathers upon his
Head, which rises so very high, that there is often a
greater Length from his Chin to the Top of his Head,
than to the Sole of his Foot, One would believe, that
we thought a great Man and a tall Man the same thing,
This very much embarrasses the Actor, who is forced
to hold his Neck extreamly stiff and steady all the while
he speaks; and notwithstanding any Anxieties which
he pretends for his Mistress, his Country, or his Friends,
one may see by his Action, that his greatest Care and
Concern is to keep the Plume of Feathers from falling
off his Head, For my own part, when I see a Man
uttering his Complaints under such a Mountain of
Feathers, I am apt to look upon him rather as an unw
fortunate Lunatick, than a Distressed Hero,  As these
superfluous Ornaments upon the Head make a great
Man, a Princess generally receives her Grandeur from
those additional incumbrances that fall into her Tails I
mean the broad sweeping Train that follows her in all
her Motions, and finds constant Employment for a Boy
who stands behind her to open and spread it to Advantage, I do not know how others are affected at this
Sight, but I must confess, my Eyes are wholly taken
up with the Page's Part; and as for the Queen, I am not
so attentive to any thing she speaks, as to the right
adjusting of her Train, lest it should chance to trip up
her Heels, or incommode her, as she walks to and fro
upon the Stage,   It is, in my Opinion, a very odd
Spectacle, to see a Queen venting her Passion in a
disordered Motion, and a little Boy taking Care all the
while that they do not ruffle the Tail of her Gown,
The Parts that the two Persons act on the Stage at the
same Time, are very differents The Princess is afraid
lest she should incur the Displeasure of the King her
Father, or lose the Hero her Lover, whilst her Attend&
ant




156            THE SPECTATOR
No, 42,  ant is only concerned lest she should entangle her Feet
Wednes, in her Petticoat,:      1ay 8,  We are told, that an ancient Tragick Poet, to move
f17l  1  the Pity of his Audience for his exiled Kings and distressed Heroes, used to make the Actors represent them
in Dresses and Cloaths that were threadbare and decayed,
This Artifice for moving Pity, seems as ill contrived, as
that we have been speaking of to inspire us with a great
Idea of the Persons introduced upon the Stage, In short,
I would have our Conceptions raised by the Dignity of
Thought and Sublimity of Expression, rather than by a
Train of Robes or a Plume of Feathers,
Another Mechanical Method of making great Men, and
adding Dignity to Kings and Queens, is to accompany
them with Halberts and Battelaxes, Two or three
Shifters of Scenes, with the two CandleSnuffers, make
up a compleat Body of Guards upon the English Stage;
and by the Addition of a few Porters dressed in Red
Coats, can represent above a dozen Legions,    I have
sometimes seen a couple of Armies drawn up together
upon the Stage, when the Poet has been disposed to do
Honour to his Generals, It is impossible for the Reader's
Imagination to multiply twenty Men into such prodigious
Multitudes, or to fancy that two or three hundred thou,
sand Soldiers are fighting in a Room  of forty or fifty
Yards in Compass. Incidents of such a nature should
be told, not represented,
----— Non tamen intus
Digna geri promes in scenam s multaque tolles
Ex oculis, quae mox narret facundia praesens,-Hor.
Yet there are things improper for a Scene,
Which Men of Judgment only will relate,-Ld, Roscommon,
I should therefore, in this Particular, recommend to
my Countrymen the Example of the French Stage,
where the Kings and Queens always appear unattended,
and leave their Guards behind the Scenes,    I should
likewise be glad if we imitated the French in banishing from  our Stage the Noise of Drums, Trumpets,
and Huzzas; which is sometimes so very great, that
when there is a Battel in the HayMarket Theatre,
one may hear it as far as Charing-Cross,
I




THE SPECTATOR


157


I have here only touched upon those Particulars which No, 42.
are made use of to raise and aggrandize the Persons Wednes,
of a Tragedy; and shall shew   in another Paper the day,
several Expedients which are practised by Authors of 17f
a vulgar Genius to move Terror, Pity, or Admiration,
in their Hearers,
The Taylor and the Painter often contribute to the
Success of a Tragedy more than the Poet,      Scenes
affect ordinary Minds as much as Speeches; and our
Actors are very sensible, that a well-dressed Play has
sometimes brought them as full Audiences, as a well,
written one, The Italians have a very good Phrase
to express this Art of imposing upon the Spectators by
Appearances   They call it the Fourberia della Scena,
The Knavery or trickish Part of the Drama, But
however the Show   and Outside of the Tragedy may
work upon the Vulgar, the more understanding Part of
the Audience immediately see through it, and despise it,
A good Poet will give the Reader a more lively Idea
of an Army or a Battel in a Description, than if he
actually saw them drawn up in Squadrons and Battalions,
or engaged in the Confusion of a Fight,  Our Minds
should be opened to great Conceptions, and inflamed
with glorious Sentiments, by what the Actor speaks,
more than by what he appears, Can all the Trappings
or Equipage of a King or Hero, give Brutus half that
Pomp and Majesty which he receives from a few Lines
in Shakespear?                                    C
No, 43,
[STEELE,]                         Thursday, April 19,
Hae tibi erunt artes pacisque imponere morem,
Parcere subjectis, & debellare superbos,-Virg,
T     HERE are Crowds of Men, whose great Misfortune
it is that they were not bound to Mechanick Arts
or Trades it being absolutely necessary for them to be
led by some continual Task or Employment, These are
such as we commonly call Dull Fellows; Persons, who
for want of something to do, out of a certain Vacancy of
thought, rather than Curiosity, are ever meddling with
things




158


THE SPECTATOR


No, 43,  things for which they are unfit, I cannot give you a
Thursday, Notion of them better than by presenting you with a
Aril 19, Letter from a Gentleman, who belongs to a Society of
this Order of Men, residing at Oxford,
A Oxford, April 13, 1711,
Sir,                   Four a clock in the Morning,
In some of your late Speculations, I find some Sketches
towards an History of Clubs: But you seem to me to
shew them in somewhat too ludicrous a Light, I have
well weighed that Matter, and think that the most
important Negotiations may best be carried on in such
Assemblies, I shall, therefore, for the Good of Mankind
(which, I trust, you and I are equally concerned for)
propose an Institution of that Nature for Example sake,
I must confess, the Design and Transactions of too
many Clubs are trifling, and manifestly of no Consequence
to the Nation or publick Weal Those I'll give you up,
But you must do me then the Justice to own, that nothing
can be more useful or laudable, than the Scheme we go
upon, To avoid Nicknames and Witticisms, we call
our selves The Hebdomadal Meetings Our President
continues for a Year at least, and sometimes four or five:
We are all Grave, Serious, Designing Men, in our Way
We think it our Duty, as far as in us lies, to take care the
Constitution receives no Harm-Ne quid detrimenti
Res capiat publica-, To censure Doctrines or Facts,
Persons or Things, which we don't like   to settle the
Nation at home, and to carry on the War abroad, where
and in what manner we see fit s If other People are not
of our Opinion, we can't help that, 'Twere better they
were, Moreover, we now and then condescend to direct,
in some measure, the little Affairs of our own University,
Verily, Mr, SPECTATOR, we are much offended at the Act
for importing French Wines A Bottle or two of good
solid Edifying Port at honest George's, made a night
cheerful, and threw off Reserve, But this plaguy French
Claret will not only cost us more Mony, but do us less
Goods Had we been aware of it, before it had gone too
far, I must tell you we would have petitioned to be heard
upon that Subject But let that pass,
I




THE SPECTATOR


159


I must let you know likewise, good Sir, that we look No. 43,
upon a certain Northern Prince's March, in Conjunction Thursday,
with Infidels, to be palpably against our good Will and A  19,
Liking; and for all Monsieur Palmquist, a most dangerous
Innovation and we are by no means yet sure, that some
People are not at the Bottom on't, At least, my own
private Letters leave Room for a Politician, well vers'd in
matters of this nature, to suspect as much, as a penetrating
Friend of mine tells me,
We think we have at last done the Business with the
Malecontents in Hungary, and shall clap up a Peace there,
What the Neutrality Army is to do, or what the Army
in Flanders, and what two or three other Princes, is not
yet fully determined among us; and we wait impatiently
for the coming in of the next Dyer's, who, you must
know, is our Authentick Intelligence, our Aristotle in
Politicks, And 'tis indeed but fit there should be some
dernier Resort, the absolute Decider of all Controversieso
We were lately informed, that the Gallant Train'dBands had patroll'd all Night long about the Streets of
Londona  We indeed could not imagine any Occasion
for it, we guess'd not a Tittle on't aforehand, we were
in nothing of the Secret; and that City Tradesmen,
or their Apprentices should do Duty, or work, during
the Holidays, we thought absolutely impossible: But
Dyer being positive in it, and some Letters from other
People, who had talked with some who had it from
those who should know, giving some Countenance to
it, the Chairman reported from the Committee, appointed
to examine into that Affair, That 'twas Possible there
might be something in't, I have much more to say to
you, but my two good Friends and Neighbours, Dominic
and Slyboots, are just come in, and the Coffee's ready,
I am, in the mean time,
Mr, SPECTATOR,
Your Admirer, and
Humble Servant,
Abraham Froth.'
You may observe the Turn of their Minds tends
only to Novelty, and not Satisfaction in any thing
Ith




160


THE SPECTATOR


No, 43,  It would be Disappointment to them, to come to Cer,
Thursday, tainty n any thing, for that would gravel them, and
A7119, put an end to their Enquiries, which dull Fellows do
not make for Information, but for Exercise,  I do not
know but this may be a very good way of accounting
for what we frequently see, to wit, that dull Fellows
prove very good Men of Business, Business relieves
them from their own natural Heaviness, by furnishing
them with what to do; whereas Business to Mercurial
Men, is an Interruption from their real Existence and
Happiness, Tho' the dull Part of Mankind are harm.
less in their Amusements, it were to be wished they
had no vacant Time, because they usually undertake
something that makes their Wants conspicuous, by
their manner of supplying them,    You shall seldom
find a dull Fellow of good Education, but (if he happens
to have any Leisure upon his Hands) will turn his Head
to one of those two Amusements, for all Fools of
Eminence, Politicks or Poetry,  The former of these
Arts, is the Study of all dull People in general but
when Dulness is lodged in a Person of a quick Animal
Life, it generally exerts it self in Poetry, One might
here mention a few Military Writers, who give great
Entertainment to the Age, by reason that the Stupidity
of their Heads is quickened by the Alacrity of their
Hearts, This Constitution in a dull Fellow, gives Vigour
to Nonsense, and makes the Puddle boil, which would
otherwise Stagnate, The British Prince, that Celebrated
Poem, which was written in the Reign of King Charles
the Second, and deservedly called by the Wits of that
Age Incomparable, was the Effect of such an happy
Genius as we are speaking of, From     among many
other Disticks no less to be quoted on this Account,
I cannot but recite the two following Lines,
A painted Vest Prince Voltager had on,
Which from a Naked Pict his Grandsire won,
Here if the Poet had not been Vivacious, as well
as Stupid, he could not, in the Warmth and Hurry of
Nonsense, have been capable of forgetting that neither
Prince Voltager, nor his Grandfather, could strip a
Naked




THE SPECTATOR


161


Naked Man of his Doublet; but a Fool of a colder Constitu- No, 43,
tion would have staled to have Fleaed the Pict, and made Thursday,
Buff of his Skin, for the Wearing of the Conqueror,  17Ai,
To bring these Observations to some useful Purpose
of Life, what I would propose should be, that we imitated those wise Nations, wherein every Man learns
some Handicraft Work, Would it not employ a Beau
prettily enough, if instead of eternally playing with a
SnuffBox, he spent some part of his Time in making
one   Such a Method as this would very much conduce
to the publick Emolument, by making every Man
Living good for something; for there would then be
no one Member of human Society, but would have
some little Pretension for some Degree in it; like him
who came to Will's Coffeehouse, upon the Merit of
having writ a Posie of a Ring,                    R
No, 44,
[ADDISON,]                          Friday, April 20.
Tu quid ego & populus mecum desideret audi,-Hor,
MONG the several Artifices which are put in
Practice by the Poets to fill the Minds of an
Audience with Terror, the first Place is due to Thunder
and Lightning, which are often made use of at the
Descending of a God, or the Rising of a Ghost, at the
Vanishing of a Devil, or at the Death of a Tyrant, I
have known a Bell introduced into several Tragedies
with good Effect; and have seen the whole Assembly
in a very great Alarm all the while it has been ringing,
But there is nothing which delights and terrifies our
English Theatre so much as a Ghost, especially when
he appears in a bloody Shirt, A Spectre has very often
saved a Play, though he has done nothing but stalked
across the Stage, or rose through a Cleft of it, and sunk
again without speaking one Word,   There may be a
proper Season for these several Terrors; and when they
only come in as Aids and Assistances to the Poet, they
are not only to be excused, but to be applauded, Thus
the sounding of the Clock in Venice Preserved, makes
the Hearts of the whole Audience quake; and conveys


L


a




162            THE SPECTATOR
No, 44,  a stronger Terror to the Mind, than it is possible for
Friday,  Words to do, The Appearance of the Ghost in Hamlet
April 20, is a Masterpiece in its kind, and wrought up with all
the Circumstances that can create either Attention or
Horror, The Mind of the Reader is wonderfully pre,
pared for his Reception, by the Discourses that precede
it  His dumb Behaviour at his first Entrance, strikes
the Imagination very strongly; but every time he enters,
he is still more terrifying, Who can read the Speech with
which young Hamlet accosts him, without trembling?
Hor, Look, my Lord, it comes I
Ham, Angels and Ministers of Grace defend us
Be thou a Spirit of Health, or Goblin damn'dj
Bring with thee Airs from Heav'n, or Blasts from Hell/
Be thy Events wicked or charitable 1
Thou com'st in such a questionable Shape
That I will speak to thee, I'll call thee Hamlet,
King, Father, Royal Dane Oh I Oh I Answer me,
Let me not burst in Ignorance but tell
Why thy canoniz'd Bones, hearsed in Death,
Have burst their Cearments  Why the Sepulchre,
Wherein we saw thee quietly inurn'd,
Hath op'd his ponderous and marble Jaws
To cast thee up again I What may this mean
That thou dead Coarse again in complete Steel
Revisit'st thus the Glimpses of the Moon,
Making Night hideous?
I do not therefore find Fault with the Artifices above,
mentioned, when they are introduced with Skill, and
accompanied by proportionable Sentiments and Express
sions in the Writing.
For the moving of Pity, our principal Machine is the
Handkerchief; and indeed in our common Tragedies,
we should not know very often that the Persons are in
Distress by any thing they say, if they did not from time
to time apply their Handkerchiefs to their Eyes, Far be
it from me to think of banishing this Instrument of
Sorrow from the Stage; I know a Tragedy could not
subsist without it  All that I would contend for, is to
keep it from being misapplied, In a Word, I would have
the Actor's Tongue sympathize with his Eyes,
A disconsolate Mother, with a Child in her Hand, has
frequently drawn Compassion from the Audience, and
has




THE SPECTATOR


163


has therefore gained a Place in several Tragedies, A No, 44,
Modern Writer, that observed how   this had took in Friday
other Plays, being resolved to double the Distress, and A  il20,
melt his Audience twice as much as those before him had
done, brought a Princess upon the Stage with a little Boy
in one Hand and a Girl in the other, This too had a
very good' Effect, A third Poet, being resolved to out,
write all his Predecessors, a few Years ago introduced
three Children with great Success% And, as I am informed, a young Gentleman, who is fully determined to
break the most obdurate Hearts, has a Tragedy by him,
where the first Person that appears upon the Stage is
an afflicted Widow in her Mourning-Weeds, with half
a Dozen fatherless Children attending her, like those
that usually hang about the Figure of Charity, Thus
several Incidents that are beautiful in a good Writer,
become ridiculous by falling into the Hands of a bad one,
But among all our Methods of moving Pity or
Terror, there is none so absurd and barbarous, and
what more exposes us to the Contempt and Ridicule
of our Neighbours, than that dreadful butchering of
one another, which is so very frequent upon the
English Stage, To delight in seeing Men stabbed,
poisoned, racked, or impaled, is certainly the Sign of a
cruel Tempers And as this is often practised before
the British  Audience, several French Criticks, who
think these are grateful Spectacles to us, take Occasion
from them to represent us as a People that delight in
Blood, It is indeed very odd, to see our Stage strowed
with Carcasses in the last Scene of a Tragedy; and to
observe in the Ward-robe of the Play-house several
Daggers, Poniards, Wheels, Bowls for Poison, and many
other Instruments of Death, Murders and Executions
are always transacted behind the Scenes in the French
Theatre; which in general is very agreeable to the
Manners of a polite and civilised Peoples But as there
are no Exceptions to this Rule on the French Stage, it
leads them into Absurdities almost as ridiculous as that
which falls under our present Censure, I remember
in the famous Play of Corneille, written upon the
Subject of the Horatii and Curiatii; the fierce young
Hero




164


THE SPECTATOR


lo. 44,  Hero who had overcome the Curiatii one after another,,iday,  (instead of being congratulated by his Sister for his
ril 20, Victory, being upbraided by her for having slain her
Lover) in the height of his Passion and Resentment
kills her, If any thing could extenuate so brutal an
Action, it would be the doing of it on a sudden, before
the Sentiments of Nature, Reason, or Manhood could
take Place in him, However, to avoid publick Bloodshed, as soon as his Passion is wrought to its Height, he
follows his Sister the whole length of the Stage, and
forbears killing her till they are both withdrawn behind
the Scenes, I must confess, had he murder'd her before
the Audience, the Indecency might have been greater;
but as it is, it appears very unnatural, and looks like
killing in cold Blood, To give my Opinion upon this
Case; the Fact ought not to have been represented, but
to have been told, if there was any Occasion for it,
It may not be unacceptable to the Reader, to see how
Sophocles has conducted a Tragedy under the like
delicate Circumstances, Orestes was in the same Condition with Hamlet in Shakespear, his Mother having
murdered his Father, and taken Possession of his
Kingdom in Conspiracy with her Adulterer, That
young Prince therefore, being determined to revenge
his Father's Death upon those who filled his Throne,
conveys himself by a beautiful Stratagem into his
Mother's Apartment, with a Resolution to kill her,
But because such a Spectacle would have been too
shocking for the Audience, this dreadful Resolution is
executed behind the Scenes   The Mother is heard
calling  out to her Son  for Mercy; and the Son
answering her, that she shewed no Mercy to his
Father, After which she shrieks out that she is
wounded, and by what follows we find that she is
slain, I do not remember that in any of our Plays
there are Speeches made behind the Scenes, though
there are other Instances of this Nature to be met
with in those of the Ancients: And I believe my
Reader will agree with me, that there is something infinitely more affecting in this dreadful Dialogue between
the Mother and her Son behind the Scenes, than could
have




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165


have been in any thing transacted before the Audience, No, 44.
Orestes immediately after meets the Usurper at the Friday
Entrance of his Palace  and by a very happy Thought April 20,
of the Poet avoids killing him before the Audience, by
telling him that he should live some Time in his present
Bitterness of Soul before he would dispatch him, and by
ordering him to retire into that Part of the Palace where
he had slain his Father, whose Murther he would re,
venge in the very same Place where it was committed, By
this Means the Poet observes that Decency, which Horace
afterwards established by a Rule, of forbearing to commit
Parricides or unnatural Murthers before the Audience,
Nec coram populo natos Medea trucidet,
Let not Medea draw her murth'ring Knife,
And spill her Children's Blood upon the Stage,
The French    have therefore refined too much upon
Horace's Rule, who never designed to banish all Kinds
of Death from the Stage; but only such as had too much
Horror in them, and which would have a better Effect
upon the Audience when transacted behind the Scenes,
I would therefore recommend to my Countrymen the
Practice of the ancient Poets, who were very sparing of
their publick Executions, and rather chose to perform
them behind the Scenes, if it could be done with as
great an Effect upon the Audience, At the same Time
r must observe, that though the devoted Persons of the
Tragedy were seldom slain before the Audience, which
has generally something ridiculous in it, their Bodies were
often produced after their Death, which has always in
it something melancholy or terrifying so that the killing
on the Stage does not seem to have been avoided only
as an Indecency, but also as an Improbability,
Nec pueros coram populo Medea trucidet,
Aut humana palam coquat exta nefarius Atreus,
Aut in avem Progne vertatur, Cadmus in anguem,
Quodcunque ostendis mihi sic, incredulus odi,-Hor,
Medea must not draw her murth'ring Knife,
Nor Atreus there his horrid Feast prepare,
Cadmus and Progne's Metamorphosis,
(She to a Swallow turn'd, he to a Snake)
And whatsoever contradicts my Sense,
I hate to see, and never can believe —Ld. Roscommon.
I




166


THE SPECTATOR


o, 44,    I have now gone through the several dramatick In,
iriday,  ventions which are made use of by the ignorant Poets
Nr120, to supply the place of Tragedy, and by the skilful to
improve it; some of which I could wish entirely
rejected, and the rest to be used with Caution, It
would be an endless Task to consider Comedy in the
same Light, and to mention the innumerable Shifts that
small Wits put in practice to raise a Laugh, Bullock
in a short Coat, and Norris in a long one, seldom fail
of this Effect, In ordinary Comedies, a broad and a
narrow brim'd Hat are different Characters, Sometimes
the Wit of the Scene lies in a Shoulder-Belt, and sometimes in a Pair of Whiskers, A Lover running about
the Stage, with his Head peeping out of a Barrel, was
thought a very good jest in King Charles the Second's
Time; and invented by one of the first Wits of that
Age, But because Ridicule is not so delicate as Come
passion, and because the Objects that make us laugh
are infinitely more numerous than those that make us
weep, there is a much greater Latitude for comick than
tragick Artifices, and by Consequence a much greater
Indulgence to be allowed them,                    C
No, 45,
[ADDISON,]                         Saturday, April 21.
Natio comoeda est -.-Juv,
T   HERE is nothing which I more desire than a safe
and honourable Peace, tho' at the same time I
am very apprehensive of many ill Consequences that
may attend it, I do not mean in regard to our Politicks,
but to our Manners, What an Inundation of Ribbons
and Brocades will break in upon us? What Peals of
Laughter and Impertinence shall we be exposed to? For
the Prevention of these great Evils, I could heartily
wish that there was an Act of Parliament for Prohibiting the Importation of French Fopperies,
The Female Inhabitants of our Island have already
received very strong Impressions from this ludicrous
Nation, though by the Length of the War (as there is
no Evil which has not some Good attending it) they
are




THE SPECTATOR


167


are pretty well worn out and forgotten, I remember No, 45,
the time when some of our well-bred Country Women Saturday,
kept their Valet de Chambre, because, forsooth, a Man April 21l
was much more handy about them than one of their
own Sex, I my self have seen one of these Male
Abigails tripping about the Room with a LookingGlass
in his Hand, and combing his Lady's Hair a whole
Morning together,   Whether or no there was any
Truth in the Story of a Lady's being got with Child
by one of these her Hand-maids, I cannot tell, but I
think at present the whole Race of them is extinct in
our own Country,
About the time that several of our Sex were taken
into this kind of Service, the Ladies likewise brought
up the Fashion of receiving Visits in their Beds, It
was then looked upon as a piece of Ill Breeding, for a
Woman to refuse to see a Man, because she was not
stirring; and a Porter would have been thought unfit
for his Place, that could have made so awkard an
Excuse, As I love to see every thing that is new, I
once prevailed upon my Friend WILL. HNEYCOMB to
carry me along with him to one of these Travelled
Ladies, desiring him, at the same time, to present me
as a Foreigner who could not speak English, that so I
might not be obliged to bear a Part in the Discourse,
The Lady, tho' willing to appear undrest, had put on
her best Looks, and painted her self for our Reception,
Her Hair appeared in a very nice Disorder, as the Night,
Gown which was thrown upon her Shoulders, was
ruffled with great Care, For my part, I am so shocked
with every thing that looks immodest in the Fair Sex,
that I could not forbear taking off my Eye from her
when she moved in her Bed, and was in the greatest
Confusion imaginable every time she stirred a Leg or
an Arm, As the Coquets who introduced this Custom,
grew old, they left it off by Degrees; well knowing
that a Woman of Threescore may kick and tumble her
Heart out, without making any Impressions,
Sempronia is at present the most profest Admirer of
the French Nation, but is so modest as to admit her
Visitants no farther than her Toilet, It is a very odd
Sight




168


THE SPECTATOR:No. 45,  Sight that beautiful Creature makes, when she is talk,:Saturday, ing  Politicks with her Tresses flowing  about her
AAp1l 21, Shoulders, and examining that Face in the Glass, which
does such Execution upon all the Male Standerskby,
How prettily does she divide her Discourse between
her Woman and her Visitants? What sprightly Tran,
sitions does she make from an Opera or a Sermon, to
an Ivory Comb or a Pin Cushion? How have I been
pleased to see her interrupted in an Account of her
Travels, by a Message to her Footman; and holding
her Tongue in the midst of a Moral Reflexion, by
applying the tip of it to a Patch?
There is nothing which exposes a Woman to greater
Dangers, than that Gaiety and Airiness of Temper,
which are natural to most of the Sex, It should be
therefore the Concern of every wise and virtuous
Woman, to keep this Sprightliness from  degenerating
into Levity, On the contrary, the whole Discourse
and Behaviour of the French is to make the Sex more
Fantastical, or (as they are pleased to term it) more
awaken'd, than is consistent either with Virtue or
Discretion, To speak Loud in Publick Assemblies, to
let every one hear you Talk of Things that should
only be mentioned in Private, or in Whisper, are looked
upon as Parts of a refined Education, At the same
time, a Blush is unfashionable, and Silence more illbred than any thing that can be spoken,    In short,
Discretion and Modesty, which in all other Ages and
Countries have been regarded as the greatest Orna,
ments of the Fair Sex, are considered as the Ingredients
of narrow Conversation, and Family Behaviour,
Some Years ago, I was at the Tragedy of Mackbeth,
and unfortunately placed my self under a Woman of
Quality that is since Dead; who, as I found by the
Noise she made, was newly returned from France, A
little before the rising of the Curtain, she broke out
into a loud Soliloquy, When will the dear Witches
enter   and immediately upon their first Appearance,
asked a Lady that sate three Boxes from her, on her
Right Hand, if those Witches were not charming
Creatures,  A little after, as Betterton was in one of
the




THE SPECTATOR


169


the finest Speeches of the Play, she shook her Fan at No, 45,
another Lady, who sate as far on her Left Hand, and Saturday,
told her with a Whisper, that might be heard all over April 21
the Pit, We must not expect to see Balloon to Night,
Not long after, calling out to a young Baronet by his
Name, who sate three Seats before me, she asked him
whether Mackbeth's Wife was still alive; and before
he could give an Answer, fell a talking of the Ghost
of Banquo,   She had by this time formed a little
Audience to her self, and fixed the Attention of all
about her, But as I had a mind to hear the Play, I got
out of the Sphere of her Impertinence, and planted my
self in one of the remotest Corners of the Pit,
This pretty Childishness of Behaviour is one of the
most refined Parts of Coquetry, and is not to be attained
in Perfection by Ladies that do not Travel for their
Improvement, A natural and unconstrained Behaviour
has something in it so agreeable, that it is no wonder
to see People endeavouring after it, But at the same
time, it is so very hard to hit, when it is not Born with
us, that People often make themselves Ridiculous in
attempting it,
A very Ingenious French Author tells us, that the
Ladies of the Court of France, in his Time, thought it
ill Breeding, and a kind of Female Pedantry, to pronounce an hard Word right; for which Reason they took
frequent occasion to use hard Words, that they might
show a Politeness in murdering them, He further
adds, that a Lady of some Quality at Court, having
accidentally made use of an hard Word in a proper
Place, and Pronounced it right, the whole Assembly
was out of Countenance for her,
I must however be so just as to own, that there
are many Ladies who have Travelled several thousands
of Miles without being the worse for it, and have
brought Home with them all the Modesty, Discretion,
and good Sense, that they went abroad with, As on
the contrary, there are great Numbers of Travelled
Ladies, who have lived all their Days within the
Smoak of London, I have known a Woman that
never was out of the Parish of St, James's betray as
many




170


THE SPECTATOR


No, 45,  many Foreign Fopperies in her Carriage, as she could
Saturday, have Gleaned up in half the Countries of Europe,  C
iApril 21,
111,
No, 46,
[ADDISON,]                         Monday, April 23,
Non bene junctarum discordia semina rerum,-Ovid,
7WHEN I want Materials for this Paper, it is my
Custom to go Abroad in quest of Game; and
when I meet any proper Subject, I take the first Oppor,
tunity of setting down an Hint of it upon Paper, At
the same Time I look into the Letters of my Corre,
spondents, and if I find any thing suggested in them
that may afford Matter of Speculation, I likewise enter
a Minute of it in my Collection of Materials, By
this Means I frequently carry about me a whole
Sheet-full of Hints, that would look like a Rhapsody of
Nonsense to any Body but my self, There is nothing
in them but Obscurity and Confusion, Raving and
Inconsistency,  In  short, they are my Speculations
in the first Principles, that (like the World in its
Chaos) are void of all Light, Distinction and Order,
About a Week since there happened to me a very
odd Accident, by Reason of one of these my Papers
of Minutes which I had accidentally dropped at Lloyd's
Coffee-house, where the Auctions are usually kept,
Before I missed it, there was a Cluster of People
who had found it, and were diverting themselves with
it at one End of the Coffee-house, It had raised so
much Laughter among them, before I had observed
what they were about, that I had not the Courage
to own it, The Boy of the Coffeehouse, when they
had done with it, carried it about in his Hand, asking
every Body if they had dropped a written Paper; but
no Body challenging it, he was ordered by those
merry Gentlemen who had before perused it, to get
up into the AuctionPulpit, and read it to the whole
Room, that if any one would own it, they might,
The Boy accordingly mounted the Pulpit, and with
a very audible Voice read as follows,
Minutes




THE SPECTATOR


171


MINUTES,                       No, 46,
Sir ROGER DE COVERLY'S Country-Seat - Yes, for I A~prl  3
hate long Speeches-Query, if a good Christian may 1711,
be a Conjurer-Childermas$day, Saltseller, House-Dog,
ScreechOwl, Cricket,-Mr, Thomas Inkle of London,
in the good Ship called the Achilles,     Yarico -
/Egrescitque medendo - Ghosts - The Lady's Library
-Lion by Trade a Taylor —Dromedary called Bu,
cephalus - Equipage the Lady's summum     bonumCharles Lillie to be taken Notice of-Short Face a
Relief to Envy-Redundancies in the three Professions
-King Latinus a Recruit-Jew devouring an Ham
of Bacon - Westminster-Abby - Grand Cairo - Pro,
crastination - April Fools - Blue Boars, Red Lyons,
Hogs in Armour-Enter a King and two Fidlers solus
- Admission into the Ugly Club - Beauty, how improveable-Families of true and false Humour-The
Parrot's School-Mistress-Face half Pict half BritishNo Man to be an Hero of a Tragedy under six Foot
-Club of Sighers-Letters from   FlowerPots, Elbow,
Chairs, Tapestry Figures, Lion, Thunder-The Bell
rings to the Puppet-Show-Old Woman with a Beard
Married to a Smocksfaced Boy-My next Coat to be
turn'd up with Blue-Fable of Tongs and GridironFlower Dyers-the Soldier's Prayer-Thank ye for
nothing, says the Gally-Pot-Pactolus in Stockings,
with  golden  Clocks to them - Bamboos, Cudgels,
Drum-sticks-Slip of my Land-lady's eldest Daughter
-The black Mare with a Star in her Forehead-The
Barber's Pole-WILL HONEYCOMB'S CoatPocket-Caesar's
Behaviour and my own in Parallel CircumstancesPoem   in Patchwork- Nulli gravis est percussus
Achilles-The Female Conventicler-The OglecMaster,
The reading of this Paper made the whole Coffee,
house very merry; some of them concluded it was
written by a Madman, and others by some Body that
had been taking Notes out of the Spectator,    One
who had the Appearance of a very substantial Citizen,
told us, with several politick Winks and Nods, that he
wished there was no more in the Paper than what was
expressed




172


THE SPECTATOR: No, 46,  expressed in it, That for his Part, he looked upon
Monday, the Dromedary, the Gridiron, and the Barber's Pole,
A Ai 23, to signifie something more than   what was usually
meant by those Words; and that he thought the Coffee,
man could not do better, than to carry the Paper to
one of the Secretaries of State,  He further added,
that he did not like the name of the outlandish Man
with the Golden Clock in his Stockings,  A young
Oxford Scholar, who chanced to be with his Uncle
at the Coffee-house, discovered to us who this Pactolus
was; and by that Means turned the whole Scheme of
this worthy Citizen into Ridicule, While they were
making their several Conjectures upon this innocent
Paper, I reached out my Arm to the Boy, as he was
coming out of the Pulpit, to give it me; which he did
accordingly, This drew the eyes of the whole Com,
pany upon me; but after having cast a cursory Glance
over it, and shook my Head twice or thrice at the
reading of it, I twisted it into a kind of Match, and litt
my Pipe with it, My profound Silence, together with
the Steadiness of my Countenance, and the Gravity of
my Behaviour during this whole Transaction, raised a
very loud Laugh on all Sides of me; but as I had
escaped all Suspicion of being the Author, I was very
well satisfied, and applying my self to my Pipe and
the Post-Man, took no further Notice of anything that
passed about me,
My Reader will find, that I have already made use
of above half the Contents of the foregoing Paper; and
will easily suppose, that those Subjects which are yet
untouched, were such Provisions as I had made for his
future Entertainment, But as I have been unluckily
prevented by this Accident, I shall only give him the
Letters which relate to the two last Hints, The first
of them I should not have published, were I not in,
formed that there is many an Husband who suffers
very much in his private Affairs by the indiscreet Zeal
of such a Partner as is hereafter mentioned; to whom
I may apply the barbarous inscription quoted by the
Bishop of Salisbury in his Travels; Dum  nimia pia
est, facta est impia,
'Sir




THE SPECTATOR


173


'Sir,                                           No, 46.
I am  one of those unhappy Men that are plagued Monday
April 23,
with a Gospel-Gossip, so common among Dissenters 17jrl
(especially Friends), Lectures in the Morning, Church,
Meetings at Noon, and PreparationSermons at Night,
take up so much of her Time, 'tis very rare she knows
what we have for Dinner, unless when the Preacher
is to be at it,  With him come a Tribe, all Brothers
and Sisters it seems; while others, really such, are
deemed no Relations,   If at any time I have her
Company alone, she is a meer Sermon Popgun, repeat,
ing and discharging Texts, Proofs, and Applications so
perpetually, that however weary I may go to Bed, the
Noise in my Head will not let me sleep till towards
Morning, The Misery of my Case, and great Numbers
of such Sufferers, plead your Pity and speedy Relief;
otherwise must expect, in a little Time, to be lectured,
preached, and prayed into Want, unless the Happiness
of being sooner talked to Death prevent it,
I am, &c,
R, G,'
The second Letter, relating to the Ogling Master,
runs thus,
'Mr, SPECTATOR,
I am an Irish Gentleman, that have travelled many
Years for my Improvement; during which Time I
have accomplished my self in the whole Art of Ogling,
as it is at present practised in all the polite Nations of
Europe, Being thus qualified, I intend, by the Advice
of my Friends, to set up for an Ogling-Master, I teach
the Church Ogle in the Morning, and the Playhouse
Ogle by Candle-light, I have also brought over with
me a new flying Ogle fit for the Ring; which I teach
in the Dusk of the Evening, or in any Hour of the Day
by darkning one of my Windows, I have a Manuscript
by me called The compleat Ogler, which I shall be
ready to shew you upon any Occasions In the mean
time, I beg you will publish the Substance of this Letter
in an Advertisement, and you will very much oblige,
C                               Your, &c,'
Tuesday




174


THE SPECTATOR


No, 47,
Tuesday, No, 47,
April 24, [ADDISON,]                        Tuesday, April 24,
171,                 Ride si sapis ----— Mart,
/R, Hobbs, in his Discourse of Human Nature,
which, in my humble Opinion, is much the
best of all his Works, after some very curious Observa,
tions upon Laughter, concludes thus: 'The Passion of
Laughter is nothing else but sudden Glory arising from
some sudden Conception of some Eminency in our
selves, by Comparison with the Infirmity of others, or
with our own formerly: For Men laugh at the Follies
of themselves past, when they come suddenly to Remembrance, except they bring with them any present
Dishonour,
According to this Author therefore, when we hear
a Man laugh excessively, instead of saying he is very
Merry, we ought to tell him he is very Proud, And
indeed, if we look into the bottom of this Matter, we
shall meet with many Observations to confirm us in
his Opinion, Every one laughs at somebody that is
in an inferior State of Folly to himself,    It was
formerly the Custom for every great House in England to keep a tame Fool dressed in Petticoats, that
the Heir of the Family might have an Opportunity
of joking upon him, and diverting himself with his
Absurdities, For the same Reason Ideots are still in
request in most of the Courts of Germany, where
there is not a Prince of any great Magnificence who
has not two or three dressed, distinguished, undisputed
Fools in his Retinue, whom the rest of the Courtiers
are always breaking their Jests upon,
The Dutch, who are more famous for their Industry
and Application, than for Wit and Humour, hang up
in several of their Streets what they call the Sign of
the Gaper, that is, the head of an Ideot dressed in a
Cap and Bells, and gaping in a most immoderate
manner This is a standing Jest at Amsterdam,
Thus every one diverts himself with some Person
or other that is below him in Point of Understanding,
and triumphs in the Superiority of his Genius, whilst
he




THE SPECTATOR


175


he has such Objects of Derision before his Eyes, Mr, No. 47,
Dennis has very well expressed this in a Couple of Tuesday,
humorous Lines, which are part of a Translation of a April 24,
Satyr in Monsieur Boileau,
Thus one Fool lolls his Tongue out at another,
And shakes his empty Noddle at his Brother,
Mr, Hobbs's Reflection gives us the Reason why the
insignificant People abovementioned are Stirrers up of
Laughter among Men of a gross Taste: But as the
more understanding Part of Mankind do not find their
Risibility affected by such ordinary Objects, it may be
worth the while to examine into the several Provoca,
tives of Laughter in Men of superior Sense and Know,
ledge,
In the first Place I must observe, that there is a Sett
of merry Drolls, whom the common People of all
Countries admire, and seem to love so well, that they
could eat them, according to the old Proverb% I mean
those circumforaneous Wits whom    every Nation calls
by the Name of that Dish of Meat which it loves best,
In Holland they are termed Pickled Herrings; in
France, Jean Pottages; in Italy, Maccaronies; and in
Great Britain, Jack Puddings,    These merry Wags,
from whatsoever Food they receive their Titles, that
they may make their Audiences laugh, always appear
in a Fool's Coat, and commit such Blunders and Mistakes in every step they take, and every Word they
utter, as those who listen to them would be ashamed
of,
But this little Triumph of the Understanding, under
the Disguise of Laughter, is no where more visible than
in that Custom which prevails every where among us
on the first Day of the present Month, when every Body
takes it in his Head to make as many Fools as he can,
In proportion as there are more Follies discovered, so
there is more Laughter raised on this Day than on any
other in the whole Year, A Neighbour of mine, who
is a Haberdasher by Trade, and a very shallow conceited
Fellow, makes his Boasts that for these ten Years suc,
cessively he has not made less than an hundred April
Fools




176


THE SPECTATOR


No. 47.  Fools,  My Landlady had a falling out with him about
Tuesday, a Fortnight ago, for sending every one of her Children
Arl 24, upon some Sleeveless Errand, as she terms it, Her
eldest Son went to buy an Half-penny worth of Inkle
at a Shoemaker's; the eldest Daughter was dispatched
half a Mile to see a Monster; and in short, the whole
Family of innocent Children made April Fools, Nay,
my Landlady her self did not escape him, This empty
Fellow has laughed upon these Conceits ever since,
This Art of Wit is well enough, when confined to
one Day in a Twelvemonth; but there is an ingenious
Tribe of Men sprung up of late Years, who are for
making April Fools every Day in the Year, These
Gentlemen are commonly distinguished by the Name
of Biters; a Race of Men that are perpetually employed
in laughing at those Mistakes which are of their own
Production,
Thus we see, in proportion as one Man is more
refined than another, he chuses his Fool out of a lower
or higher Class of Mankind; or, to speak in a more
Philosophical Language, That secret Elation and Pride
of Heart which is generally called Laughter, arises in
him from his comparing himself with an Object below
him, whether it so happens that it be a Natural or an
Artificial Fool,  It is indeed very possible, that the
Persons we laugh at may in the main of their Char,
acters be much wiser Men than our selves; but if they
would have us laugh at them, they must fall short
of us in those Respects which stir up this Passion,
I am  afraid I shall appear too Abstracted in my
Speculations, if I shew that when a Man of Wit makes
us laugh, it is by betraying some Oddness or Infirmity
in his own Character, or in the Representation which
he makes of others; and that when we laugh at a
Brute or even at an inanimate thing, it is at some
Action or Incident that bears a remote Analogy to any
Blunder or Absurdity in reasonable Creatures,
But to come into common Lifer I shall pass by the
Consideration of those Stage Coxcombs that are able to
shake a whole Audience, and take notice of a particular
sort of Men who are such Provokers of Mirth in Con,
versation




THE SPECTATOR


177


versation, that it is impossible for a Club or Merry- No, 47.
meeting to subsist without them; I mean, those honest Tuesday,
Gentlemen that are always exposed to the Wit and April24,
Raillery of their Well-wishers and Companions; that
are pelted by Men, Women, and Children, Friends, and
Foes, and, in a word, stand as Butts in Conversation,
for every one to shoot at that pleases, I know several
of these Butts who are Men of Wit and Sense, though
by some odd Turn of Humour, some unlucky Cast in
their Person or Behaviour, they have always the Misfortune to make the Company merry, The Truth of
it is, a Man is not qualified for a Butt, who has not
a good deal of Wit and Vivacity, even in the ridiculous
Side of his Character, A stupid Butt is only fit for the
Conversation of ordinary People, Men of Wit require
one that will give them Play, and bestir himself in
the absurd Part of his Behaviour, A Butt with these
Accomplishments frequently gets the Laugh of his Side,
and turns the Ridicule upon him that attacks him, Sir
John Falstaff was an Hero of this Species, and gives
a good Description of himself in his Capacity of a Butt,
after the following manner; Men of all sorts (says
that merry Knight) take a Pride to gird at me, The
Brain of Man is not able to invent any thing that
tends to Laughter more than I invent, or is invented
on me, I am    not only Witty in my self, but the
Cause that Wit is in other Men,                   C
No, 48,
[STEELE,]                        Wednesday, April 25,
— Per multas aditum sibi saepe figuras
Repperit --- —Ovid,
Y Correspondents take it ill if I do not, from time
to time, let them  know I have received their
Letters,  The most effectual way will be to publish
some of them that are upon important Subjects; which
I shall introduce with a Letter of my own, that I writ
a Fortnight ago to a Fraternity who thought fit to make
me an honorary Member,


M


'To




178


THE SPECTATOR


No, 48,   'To the President and Fellows of the UGLY CLUB,
Wednes,
day,        May it please your Deformities,
April 25,  I have received the Notification of the Honour you
1711.   have done me, in admitting me into your Society, I
acknowledge my Want of Merit, and for that Reason
shall endeavour at all times to make up my own
Failures, by introducing and recommending to the
Club Persons of more undoubted Qualifications than I
can pretend to, I shall next Week come down in the
Stage Coach, in order to take my Seat at the Board;
and shall bring with me a Candidate of each Sex, The
Persons I shall present to you, are an old Beau and a
modern Pict, If they are not so eminently gifted by
Nature as our Assembly expects, give me Leave to say,
their acquired Ugliness is greater than any that has
ever appeared before you, The Beau has varied his
Dress every Day of his Life for these thirty Years last
past, and still added to the Deformity he was born with,
The Pict has still greater Merit towards us; and has,
ever since she came to Years of Discretion, deserted the
handsome Party, and taken all possible Pains to acquire
the Face in which I shall present her to your Consideration and Favour, I am, Gentlemen,
Your most Obliged Humble Servant,
The SPECTATOR,
P, S, I desire to know whether you admit People of
Quality,'
'Mr, SPECTATOR,                     April 17,
To shew you there are among us of the vain weak Sex,
some that have Honesty and Fortitude enough to dare
to be ugly, and willing to be thought so; I apply my
self to you, to beg your Interest and Recommendation
to the Ugly Club, If my own Word will not be taken,
(tho' in this Case a Woman's may) I can bring credible
Witness of my Qualifications for their Company, whether
they insist upon Hair, Forehead, Eyes, Cheeks, or Chin
to which I must add, that I find it easier to lean to my
left Side, than my Right, I hope I am  in all Respects
agreeables And for Humour and Mirth, I'll keep up to
the




THE SPECTATOR


179


the President himself, All the Favour I'll pretend to No,48,
is, that as I am the first Woman has appeared desirous Wednes.
of good Company and agreeable Conversation, I may al25,
take and keep the upper End of the Table, And in,l7,,
deed I think they want a Carver, which I can be after
as ugly a Manner as they can wish, I desire your
Thoughts of my Claim as soon as you can, Add to my
Features the Length of my Face, which is full half Yard
tho' I never knew the Reason of it till you gave one for
the Shortness of yours, If I knew a Name ugly enough
to belong to the above described Face, I would feign one;
but, to my unspeakable Misfortune, my Name is the only
disagreeable Prettiness about me; so prithee make one
for me, that signifies all the Deformity in the World i
You understand Latin, but be sure bring it in with my
being, in the Sincerity of my Heart,
Your most frightful Admirer,
and Servant,
Hecatissa.'
' Mr. SPECTATOR,
I read your Discourse upon Affectation, and from
the Remarks made in it examined my own Heart
so strictly, that I thought I had found out its most secret
Avenues, with a Resolution to be aware of you for the
future,  But alas  to my Sorrow I now    understand,
that I have several Follies which I do not know  the
Root of, I am an old Fellow, and extreamly troubled
with the Gout; but having always a strong Vanity
towards being pleasing in the Eyes of Women, I never
have a Moment's Ease, but I am    mounted in high,
heel'd Shoes with a glased Waxleather Instep.  Two
Days after a severe Fit was invited to a Friend's House
in the City, where I believed I should see Ladies and
with my usual Complaisance crippled my self to wait
upon them   A very sumptuous Table, agreeable Company, and kind Reception, were but so many importunate
Additions to the Torment I was in, A Gentleman of
the Family observed my Condition; and soon after the
Queen's Health, he, in the Presence of the whole
Company, with his own Hands degraded me into an
old




180


THE SPECTATOR


No. 48.  old Pair of his own Shoes, This Operation, before fine
Wednes. Ladies, to me (who am   by Nature a Coxcomb) was
day, 2  suffered with the same Reluctance as they admit the Help
171 5, of Men in their greatest Extremity, The Return of Ease
made me forgive the rough Obligation laid upon me,
which at that time relieved my Body from a Distemper,
and will my mind for ever from a Folly, For the
Charity received I return my Thanks this way,
Your most humble Servant,'
'Sir,                       Epping, April 18,
We have your Papers here the Morning they come
out, and we have been very well entertained with
your last,,upon the false Ornaments of Persons who
represent Heroes in a Tragedy,    What made your
Speculation come very seasonably among us is, that we
have now at this Place a Company of Strolers, who are
very far from offending in the impertinent Splendor of
the Drama, They are so far from falling into these
false Gallantries, that the Stage is here in its Original
Situation of a Cart, Alexander the Great was acted by
a Fellow in a Paper Cravat, The next Day, the Earl
of Essex seemed to have no Distress but his PovertyJ
And my Lord Foppington the same Morning wanted
any better Means to shew himself a Fop, than by
wearing Stockings of different Colours, In a Word,
tho' they have had a full Barn for many Days together,
our Itinerants are still so wretchedly poor, that without
you can prevail to send us the Furniture you forbid at
the Play, house, the Heroes appear only like sturdy
Beggars, and the Heroins Gipsies,  We have had but
one Part which was performed and dressed with
Propriety, and that was Justice Clodpatet This was
so well done that it offended Mr, Justice Overdo, who,
in the midst of our whole Audience, was (like Quixote in
the Puppet Show) so highly provoked, that he told them,
If they would move Compassion, it should be in their
own Persons, and not in the Characters of distressed
Princes and Potentatess He told them, If they were so
good at finding the way to People's Hearts, they should
do




THE SPECTATOR


181


do it at the End of Bridges or Church-Porches, in their No, 48,
proper Vocation of Beggars, This, the Justice says, they Wednesmust expect, since they could not be contented to act day,
April 25,
Heathen Warriors, and such Fellows as Alexander, but 17 1,
must presume to make a Mockery of one of the
Quorum,
R                                     Your Servant,'
No, 49,
[STEELE,]                         Thursday, April 26,
--   Hominem pagina nostra sapit,-Mart,
IT is very natural for a Man, who is not turned for
Mirthful Meetings of Men, or Assemblies of the
fair Sex, to delight in that sort of Conversation which
we find in Coffeehouses, Here a Man, of my Temper,
is in his Element; for, if he cannot talk, he can still be
more agreeable to his Company, as well as pleased in
himself, in being only an Hearer, It is a Secret known
but to few, yet of no small use in the Conduct of Life,
that when you fall into a Man's Conversation, the first
thing you should consider is, whether he has a
greater Inclination to hear you, or that you should hear
him,   The latter is the more general Desire, and I
know very able Flatterers that never speak a Word in
Praise of the Persons from whom they obtain daily
Favours, but still practise a skilful Attention to whatever
is uttered by those with whom they converse, We are
very Curious to observe the Behaviour of Great Men
and their Clients; but the same Passions and Interests
move Men in lower Spheres; and I (that have nothing
else to do, but make Observations) see in every Parish,
Street, Lane, and Alley of this Populous City, a little
Potentate that has his Court, and his Flatterers who lay
Snares for his Affection and Favour, by the same Arts
that are practised upon Men in higher Stations,
In the Place I most usually frequent, Men differ rather
in the Time of Day in which they make a Figure, than
in any real Greatness above one another, I, who am
at the Coffee-house at Six in a Morning, know that my
Friend Beaver the Haberdasher has a Levy of more
undissembled




182


THE SPECTATOR


No, 49,  undissembled Friends and Admirers, than most of the
Thursday, Courtiers or Generals of Great Britain,  Every Man
Pi1 26, about him has, perhaps, a NewsPaper in his Hand but
none can pretend to guess what Step will be taken in
any one Court of Europe, 'till Mr, Beaver has thrown
down his Pipe, and declares what Measures the Allies
must enter into upon this new Posture of Affairs, Our
Coffeeehouse is near one of the Inns of Court, and Beaver
has the Audience and Admiration of his Neighbours
from Six 'till within a Quarter of Eight, at which time
he is interrupted by the Students of the House some of
whom are ready dress'd for Westminster, at eight in
a Morning, with Faces as busie as if they were retained in every Cause there; and others come in their
NightGowns to saunter away their Time, as if they
never designed to go thither,  I do not know  that I
meet, in any of my Walks, Objects which move both
my Spleen and Laughter so effectually, as those Young
Fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searle's, and all other
Coffee-houses adjacent to the Law, who rise early for no
other Purpose but to publish their Laziness, One would
think these young Virtuosos take a gay Cap and Slippers,
with a Scarf and Party-coloured Gown, to be Ensigns of
Dignity; for the vain Things approach each other with
an Air, which shews they regard one another for their
Vestments, I have observed, that the Superiority among
these proceeds from an Opinion of Gallantry and Fashion:
The Gentleman in the Strawberry Sash, who presides
so much over the rest, has, it seems, subscribed to every
Opera this last Winter, and is supposed to receive Favours
from one of the Actresses,
When the Day grows too busie for these Gentlemen
to enjoy any longer the Pleasures of their Deshabile,
with any manner of Confidence, they give place to Men
who have Business or good Sense in their Faces, and
come to the Coffeeehouse either to transact Affairs, or
enjoy Conversation, The Persons to whose Behaviour
and Discourse I have most regard, are such as are
between these two sorts of Men    Such as have not
Spirits too Active to be happy and well pleased in a
private Condition, nor Complexions too warm to make
them




THE SPECTATOR


183


them neglect the Duties and Relations of Life, Of these No, 49,
sort of Men consist the worthier Part of Mankind; of Thursday
these are all good Fathers, generous Brothers, sincere 7il26,
Friends, and faithful Subjects,  Their Entertainments
are derived rather from Reason than Imagination:
Which is the Cause that there is no Impatience or
Instability in their Speech or Action, You see in their
Countenances they are at home, and in quiet Possession
of the present Instant, as it passes, without desiring to
quicken it by gratifying any Passion, or prosecuting any
new Design, These are the Men formed for Society,
and those little Communities which we express by the
Word Neighbourhoods,
The Coffeehouse is the Place of Rendezvous to all
that live near it, who are thus turned to relish calm
and ordinary Life,  Eubulus presides over the middle
Hours of the Day, when this Assembly of Men meet
together, He enjoys a great Fortune handsomely, with,
out launching into Expence; and exerts many noble
and useful Qualities, without appearing in any publick
Employment, His Wisdom and Knowledge are services
able to all that think fit to make use of them; and he
does the Office of a Council, a Judge, an Executor, and a
Friend to all his Acquaintance, not only without the
Profits which attend such Offices, but also without the
Deference and Homage which are usually paid to them,
The giving of Thanks is displeasing to him,    The
greatest Gratitude you can shew him, is to let him see
you are the better Man for his Services; and that you
are as ready to oblige others, as he is to oblige you,
In the private Exigencies of his Friends he lends, at
legal Value, considerable Sums, which he might highly
increase by rolling in the Publick Stocks,  He does
not consider in whose Hands his Mony will improve
most, but where it will do most Good,
Eubulus has so great an Authority in his little
Diurnal Audience, that when he shakes his Head at any
Piece of Publick News, they all of them appear dejected;
and on the contrary, go home to their Dinners with a
good Stomach and chearful Aspect, when Eubulus seems
to intimate that Things go well Nay, their Veneration
towards




184


THE SPECTATOR


No, 49,  towards him is so great, that when they are in other
Thursday, Company they speak and act after him; are Wise in
Aril 26, his Sentences, and are no sooner sate down at their
own Tables, but they hope or fear, rejoice or despond
as they saw him  do at the Coffeehouse, In a word,
every Man is Eubulus as soon as his Back is turned,
Having here given an Account of the several Reigns
that succeed each other from Day.break 'till Dinner-time,
I shall mention the Monarchs of the Afternoon on an,
other occasion, and shut up the whole Series of them
with the History of Tom the Tyrant; who, as first
Minister of the Coffeehouse, takes the Government
upon him between the Hours of Eleven and Twelve
at Night, and gives his Orders in the most Arbitrary
manner 4o the Servants below him, as to the Dis,
position of Liquors, Coal and Cinders,            R
No, 50,
[ADDISON,]                          Friday, April 27,
Nunquam aliud natura, aliud sapientia dicit,-Juv,
W      HEN the four Indian Kings were in this Country
about a Twelvemonth ago, I often mixed with
the Rabble, and followed them a whole Day together,
being wonderfully struck with the Sight of every thing
that is new or uncommon0 I have, since their Depar,
ture, employed a Friend to make many Enquiries of
their Landlord the Upholsterer, relating to their Manners
and Conversation, as also concerning the Remarks which
they made in this Country, For, next to the forming
a right Notion of such Strangers, I should be desirous
of learning what Ideas they have conceived of us,
The Upholsterer finding my Friend very inquisitive
about these his Lodgers, brought him some time since
a little Bundle of Papers, which he assured him were
written by King Sa Ga Yean Qua Rash Tow, and, as
he supposes, left behind by some Mistake, These Papers
are now translated, and contain abundance of very odd
Observations, which I find this little Fraternity of Kings
made during their Stay in the Isle of Great Britain, I
shall present my Reader with a short Specimen of them
in




THE SPECTATOR


185


in this Paper, and may, perhaps, communicate more to No, 50,
him hereafter, In the Article of London are the follow, Friday,
ing Words, which without doubt are meant of the Aril27,
Church of St, Paul,
'On the most rising Part of the Town there stands a
huge House, big enough to contain the whole Nation
of which I am King, Our good Brother E Tow 0 Koam,
King of the Rivers, is of Opinion it was made by the
Hands of that great God to whom it is consecrated, The
Kings of Granajah and of the Six Nations believe that
it was created with the Earth, and produced on the same
Day with the Sun and Moon, But for my own Part, by
the best Information that I could get of this Matter, I am
apt to think that this prodigious Pile was fashioned into
the Shape it now bears by several Tools and Instruments
of which they have a wonderful Variety in this Country,
It was probably at first an huge mis-shapen Rock that
grew upon the Top of the Hill, which the Natives of the
Country (after having cut it into a kind of regular Figure)
bored and hollowed with incredible Pains and Industry,
till they had wrought in it all those beautiful Vaults and
Caverns into which it is divided at this Day, As soon
as this Rock was thus curiously scooped to their Liking,
a prodigious Number of Hands must have been employed
in chipping the Outside of it, which is now as smooth as
the Surface of a Pebble; and is in several Places hewn
out into Pillars that stand like the Trunks of so many
Trees bound about the Top with Garlands of Leaves, It
is probable that when this great Work was begun, which
must have been many Hundred Years ago, there was
some Religion among this People; for they give it the
Name of a Temple, and have a Tradition that it was de,
signed for Men to pay their Devotions in, And indeed,
there are several Reasons which make us think, that the
Natives of this Country had formerly among them some
sort of Worship; for they set apart every seventh Day as
sacred s But upon my going into one of these holy Houses
on that Day, I could not observe any Circumstance of
Devotion in their Behaviour There was indeed a Man
in Black who was mounted above the rest, and seemed
to utter something with a great deal of Vehemence but
as




186


THE SPECTATOR


No. 50,  as for those underneath him, instead of paying their
Friday,  Worship to the Deity of the Place, they were most of
ri' 2 7 them bowing and curtsying to one another, and a con,
siderable Number of them fast asleep,
The Queen of the Country appointed two Men to
attend us, that had enough of our Language to make
themselves understood in some few Particulars, But we
soon perceived these two were great Enemies to one
another, and did not always agree in the same Story,
We could make a Shift to gather out of one of them, that
this Island was very much infested with a monstrous
Kind of Animals, in the Shape of Men, called Whigs
and he often told us, that he hoped we should meet with
none of them in our Way, for that if we did, they would
be apt to knock us down for being Kings,
Our other Interpreter used to talk very much of a kind
of Animal called a Tory, that was as great a Monster as
the Whig, and would treat us as ill for being Foreigners,
These two Creatures, it seems, are born with a secret
Antipathy to one another, and engage when they meet
as naturally as the Elephant and the Rhinoceros, But as
we saw none of either of these Species, we are apt to
think that our Guides deceived us with Misrepresentations
and Fictions, and amused us with an Account of such
Monsters as are not really in their Country,
These Particulars we made a Shift to pick out from
the Discourse of our Interpreters which we put together
as well as we could, being able to understand but here
and there a Word of what they said, and afterwards
making up the meaning of it among ourselves, The
Men of the Country are very cunning and ingenious in
handicraft Works, but withal so very idle, that we often
saw young lusty rawboned Fellows carried up and down
the Streets in little covered Rooms by a Couple of Porters,
who are hired for that Service. Their Dress is likewise
very barbarous, for they almost strangle themselves about
the Neck, and bind their Bodies with many Ligatures,
that we are apt to think are the Occasion of several Distempers among them which our Country is entirely free
from. Instead of those beautiful Feathers with which
we adorn our Heads, they often buy up a monstrous Bush
of




THE SPECTATOR


187


of Hair, which covers their Heads, and falls down in a No. 50,
large Fleece below the Middle of their Backs; with which Friday,
they walk up and down the Streets, and are as proud of A7ri 27,
it as if it was of their own Growth,
We were invited to one of their publick Diversions,
where we hoped to have seen the great Men of their
Country running down a Stag or pitching a Bar, that we
might have discovered who were the Persons of the
greatest Abilities among them; but instead of that they
conveyed us into a huge Room lighted up with abundance of Candles, where this lazy People sate still above
three Hours to see several Feats of Ingenuity performed
by others, who it seems were paid for it,
As for the Women of the Country, not being able to
talk with them, we could only make our Remarks upon
them at a Distance, They let the Hair of their Heads
grow to a great Length; but as the Men make a great
Show with Heads of Hair that are none of their own,
the Women, who they say have very fine Heads of
Hair, tie it up in a Knot, and cover it from being seen,
The Women look like Angels, and would be more
beautiful than the Sun, were it not for little black Spots
that are apt to break out in their Faces, and sometimes
rise in very odd Figures,  I have observed that those
little Blemishes wear off very soon; but when they
disappear in one Part of the Face, they are very apt to
break out in another, insomuch that I have seen a Spot
upon the Forehead in the Afternoon, which was upon the
Chin in the Morning,'
The Author then proceeds to shew the Absurdity of
Breeches and Petticoats, with many other curious Ob,
servations, which I shall reserve for another Occasion, I
cannot however conclude this Paper without taking
notice, That amidst these wild Remarks there now and
then appears something very reasonable, I cannot likewise forbear observing, That we are all guilty in some
measure of the same narrow way of Thinking, which
we meet with in this Abstract of the Indian Journal,
when we fancy the Customs, Dresses, and Manners of
other Countries are ridiculous and extravagant, if they
do not resemble those of our own,                 C
Saturday




188


THE SPECTATOR


go, 5t, No, 51,
laturd  [STEELE,]                          Saturday, April 28,
V'I.         Torquet ab obscenis jam nunc sermonibus aurem,-Hor,
' Mr. SPECTATOR,
MY Fortune, Quality, and Person are such, as render
me as conspicuous as any young Woman in
Town, It is in my Power to enjoy it in all its Vanities;
but I have, from a very careful Education, contracted a
great Aversion to the forward Air and Fashion which
is practised in all Publick Places and Assemblies, I
attribute this very much to the Stile and Manners of our
Plays, I was last Night at the Funeral, where a Confident
Lover in the Play, speaking of his Mistress, Cries out —
Oh that Yarriot To fold these Arms about the Waste
of that beauteous, strugling, and at last yielding Fair!
Such an Image as this ought, by no means, to be presented to a Chaste and Regular Audience, I expect your
Opinion of this Sentence, and recommend to your
Consideration, as a SPECTATOR, the Conduct of the Stage
at present, with Relation to Chastity and Modesty,
I am, Sir,
Your Constant Reader,
and Well-wisher,'
The Complaint of this Young Lady is so just, that the
Offence is gross enough to have displeased Persons who
cannot pretend to that Delicacy and Modesty, of which
she is Mistress, But there is a great deal to be said in
Behalf of an Author: If the Audience would but consider
the Difficulty of keeping up a sprightly Dialogue for
five Acts together, they would allow a Writer, when he
wants Wit, and can't please any otherwise, to help it out
with a little Smuttiness, I will answer for the Poets,
that no one ever writ Bawdry for any other Reason but
Dearth of Invention, When the Author cannot strike
out of himself any more of that which he has superior
to those who make up the Bulk of his Audience, his
natural Recourse is to that which he has in common with
them; and a Description which gratifies a sensual
Appetite will please, when the Author has nothing
about




THE SPECTATOR


189


about him to delight a refined Imagination, It is to such No. 51,
a Poverty we must impute this and all other Sentences in Saturday,
Plays, which are of this Kind, and which are commonly April 28
termed Luscious Expressions,
This Expedient, to supply the Deficiencies of Wit,
has been used, more or less, by most of the Authors
who have succeeded on the Stage; tho' I know but
one who has professedly writ a Play upon the Basis
of the Desire of Multiplying our Species, and that is
the Polite Sir George Etherege; if I understand what
the Lady would be at, in the Play called She would if
she could, Other Poets have, here and there, given
an Intimation that there is this Design, under all the
Disguises and Affectations which a Lady may put on;
but no Author, except this, has made sure Work of
it, and put the Imaginations of the Audience upon
this one Purpose, from the Beginning to the End of
the Comedy,    It has always fared accordingly; for
whether it be, that all who go to this Piece would if
they could, or that the Innocents go to it, to guess
only what She would if she could, the Play has
always been well received,
It lifts an heavy empty Sentence, when there is
added to it a lascivious Gesture of Body; and when it
is too low to be raised even by that, a flat Meaning
is enlivened by making it a double one, Writers, who
want Genius, never fail of keeping this Secret in
reserve, to create a Laugh, or raise a Clap, I, who
know nothing of Women but from seeing Plays, can
give great guesses at the whole Structure of the fair
Sex, by being innocently placed in the Pit, and insulted
by the Petticoats of their Dancers; the Advantages of
whose pretty Persons are a great help to a dull Play,
When a Poet flags in writing Lusciously, a pretty Girl
can move Lasciviously, and have the same good Con,
sequence for the Author,   Dull Poets in this Case
use their Audiences, as dull Parasites do their Patrons;
when they cannot longer divert them with their Wit
or Humour, they bait their Ears with something
which is agreeable to their Temper, though below
their Understanding.  Apicius cannot resist bein
pleased




190            THE SPECTATOR
No, 51  pleased, if you give him  an Account of a delicious
~aturday, Meals or Clodius, if you describe a wanton Beauty:
ril2 2* Tho' at the same time, if you do not awake those
Inclinations in them, no Men are better Judges of
what is just and delicate in Conversation,  But, as I
have before observed, it is easier to talk to the Man,
than to the Man of Sense,
It is remarkable, that the writers of least Learning
are best skill'd in the luscious Way,  The Poetesses
of the Age have done Wonders in this kind; and we
are obliged to the Lady who writ Ibrahim, for intro,
ducing a preparatory Scene to the very Action, when
the Emperor throws his Handkerchief as a Signal for
his Mistress to follow him into the most retired Part
of the seraglio,  It must be confessed his Turkish
Majesty went off with a good Air, but, methought,
we made but a sad Figure who waited without, This
Ingenious Gentlewoman, in this piece of Bawdry, refined
upon an Author of the same Sex, who, in the Rover,
makes a Country Squire strip to his Holland Drawers,
For Blunt is disappointed, and the Emperor is understood to go on to the utmost,     The Pleasantry of
Stripping almost Naked has been since practised (where
indeed it should have begun) very successfully at
Bartholomew Fair,
It is not here to be omitted, that in one of the above,
mentioned Female Compositions, the Rover is very
frequently sent on the same Errand; as I take it, above
once every Act, This is not wholly unnatural; for,
they say, the Men-Authors draw themselves in their
chief Characters, and the Women-Writers may be
allowed the same Liberty,   Thus, as the Male Wit
gives his Hero a good Fortune, the Female gives her
Heroin a good Gallant, at the End of the Play, But,
indeed, there is hardly a Play one can go to, but the
Hero or fine Gentleman of it struts off upon the same
account, and leaves us to consider what good Office he
has put us to, or to employ our selves as we please,
To be plain, a Man who frequents Plays, would have a
very respectful Notion of himself, were he to recollect
how often he has been used as a Pimp to ravishing
Tyrants




THE SPECTATOR


191


Tyrants, or successful Rakes, When the Actors make No, 51,
their Exit on this good Occasion, the Ladies are sure Saturday,
to have an examining Glance from the Pit, to see how "Aprl 2,
they relish what passes; and a few lewd Fools are very
ready to employ their Talents upon the Composure
or Freedom  of their Looks, Such Incidents as these
make some Ladies wholly absent themselves from the
Playhouse; and others never miss the first Day of
a Play, lest it should prove too luscious to admit their
going with any Countenance to it on the Second,
If Men of Wit, who think fit to write for the Stage,
instead of this pitiful way of giving Delight, would turn
their Thoughts upon raising it from good natural Impulses as are in the Audience, but are choaked up by
Vice and Luxury, they would not only please, but
befriend us at the same time, If a Man had a mind
to be new in his way of Writing, might not he who is
now represented as a fine Gentleman, tho' he betrays
the Honour and Bed of his Neighbour and Friend, and
lies with half the Women in the Play, and is at last
rewarded with her of the best Character in it; I say,
upon giving the Comedy another Cast, might not such
a one divert the Audience quite as well, if at the
Catastrophe he were found out for a Traytor, and met
with Contempt accordingly? There is seldom a Person
devoted to above one Darling Vice at a time, so that
there is room enough to catch at Men's Hearts to their
Good and Advantage, if the Poets will attempt it with
the Honesty which becomes their Characters,
There is no Man who loves his Bottle or his Mistress,
in a manner so very abandoned, as not to be capable
of relishing an agreeable Character, that is no way a
Slave to either of those Pursuits, A Man that is Temperate, Generous, Valiant, Chaste, Faithful and Honest,
may, at the same time, have Wit, Humour, Mirth, good
Breeding, and Gallantry, While he exerts these latter
Qualities, twenty Occasions might be invented to shew
he is Master of the other noble Virtues, Such Characters
would smite and reprove the Heart of a Man of Sense,
when he is given up to his Pleasures, He would see
he has been mistaken all this while, and be convinced
that




192


THE SPECTATOR


'No. 51  that a sound Constitution and an innocent Mind are the
ASaturday, true Ingredients for becoming and enjoying Life,  All.April28, Men o   true Taste would call a Man of Wit, who
should turn his Ambition this way, a Friend and Bene,
factor to his Country; but I am at a loss what Name
they would give him, who makes use of his Capacity
for contrary Purposes,                             R
No, 52,
[STEELE,]                           Monday, April 30,
Omnes ut tecum merits pro talibus annos
Exigat, & pulchra faciat te prole parentem,-Virg,
N ingenious Correspondent, like a sprightly Wife,
will always have the last Word, I did not think
my last Letter to the deformed Fraternity would have
occasioned any Answer, especially since I had promised
them so sudden a Visit But as they think they cannot
shew too great a Veneration for my Person, they have
already sent me up an Answer, As to the Proposal
of a Marriage between my self and the matchless
Hecatissa, I have but one Objection to it; which is,
That all the Society will expect to be acquainted with
her; and who can be sure of keeping a Woman's Heart
long, where she may have so much Choice? I am the
more alarmed at this, because the Lady seems parti,
cularly smitten with Men of their Make,
I believe I shall set my Heart upon her; and think
never the worse of my Mistress for an Epigram a smart
Fellow writ, as he thought, against her; it does but the
more recommend her to me, At the same time I cannot
but discover that his Malice is stolen from Martial.
Tacta places, audita places, si non videare,
Tola places neutro, si videare, places,
Whilst in the Dark on thy soft Hand I hung,
And heard the tempting Syren in thy Tongue,
What Flames, what Darts, what Anguish I endur'd?
But when the Candle enter'd I was cur'd,
'Your Letter to us we have received, as a signal Mark
of your Favour and brotherly Affection, We shall be
heartily glad to see your short Face in Oxfords And
since the Wisdom   of our Legislature has been immorz
talized




THE SPECTATOR


193


talized in your Speculations, and our personal Deformi- No, 52,
ties in some sort by you recorded to all Posterity, we Monday,
hold our selves in Gratitude bound to receive, with the A7ril30
highest Respect, all such Persons as for their extra,
ordinary Merit you shall think fit, from Time to Time,
to recommend unto the Board,     As for the Pictish
Damsel, we have an easie Chair prepared at the upper
End of the Table; which we doubt not but she
will grace with a very hideous Aspect, and much
better become the Seat in the native and unaffected
Uncomeliness of her Person, than with all the supers
ficial Airs of the Pencil, which (as you have very
ingeniously observed) vanish with a Breath; and the
most innocent Adorer may deface the Shrine with a
Salutation, and, in the literal Sense of our Poets, snatch
and imprint his balmy Kisses, and devour her melting
Lips, In short, the only Faces of the Pictish Kind that
will endure the Weather, must be of Dr, Carbuncle's
Die; though his, in truth, has cost him a World the
Painting; but then he boasts with Zeuxes, In eternio
tatem  pingo; and oft jocosely tells the Fair Ones,
Would they acquire Colours that would stand kissing,
they must no longer Paint but Drink for a Complexion:
A Maxim that in this our Age has been pursued with
no ill Success; and has been as admirable in its Effects,
as the famous Cosmetick mentioned in the PostMan,
and invented by the renowned British Hippocrates of
the Pestle and Mortar; making the Party, after a due
Course, rosie, hale, and airy; and the best and most
approved Receipt now extant for the Fever of the
Spirits, But to return to our female Candidate, who,
I understand, is returned to her self, and will no longer
hang out false Colours; as she is the first of her Sex
that has done us so great an Honour, she will certainly,
in a very short time, both in Prose and Verse, be a
Lady of the most celebrated Deformity now living; and
meet with Admirers here as frightful as her self  But
being a long-headed Gentlewoman, I am apt to imagine
she has some further Design than you have yet
penetrated; and perhaps has more Mind to the SPECTATOR
than any of his Fraternity, as the Person of all the
N                    World




194


THE SPECTATOR


No, 52,  World she could like for a Paramour And if so, really
Monday, I cannot but applaud her Choice; and should be glad,
April, if it might lie in my Power, to effect an amicable
Accommodation betwixt two Faces of such different
Extremes, as the only possible Expedient, to mend the
Breed, and rectifie the Physiognomy of the Family on
both Sides, And again, as she is a Lady of a very
fluent Elocution, you need not fear that your first Child
will be born dumb, which otherwise you might have
some Reason to be apprehensive of, To be plain with
you, I can see nothing shocking in it; for though she
has not a Face like a JohnApple, yet as a late Friend
of mine, who at Sixty five ventured on a Lass of Fifteen,
very frequently, in the remaining Five Years of his Life,
gave me to understand, That, as old as he then seemed,
when they were first married he and his Spouse could
make but Fourscore; so may Madam     Hecatissa very
justly alledge hereafter, That, as long visaged as she
may then be thought, upon their Weddingday Mr,
SPECrATOR and she had but Half an Ell of Face betwixt
them   And this my very worthy Predecessor, Mr,
Sergeant Chin, always maintained to be no more than
the true oval Proportion between Man and Wife, But as
this may be a new thing to you, who have hitherto had
no Expectations from Women, I shall allow you what
Time you think fit to consider on it; not without some
Hope of seeing at last your Thoughts hereupon subjoined
to mine, and which is an Honour much desired by,
Sir,
Your assured Friend,
and most humble Servant,
Hugh Goblin, Praeses,'
The following Letter has not much in it, but as it is
written in my own Praise I cannot from my Heart suppress it,
'Sir,
You proposed in your SPECTATOR of last Tuesday Mr,
Hobbs's Hypothesis, for solving that very odd Phaes
nomenon of Laughter, You have made the Hypothesis
valuable




THE SPECTATOR


195


valuable by espousing it your self; for had it continued No. 52.
Mr. Hobbs's, no Body would have minded it  Now here Monday!
this perplexed Case arises, A certain Company laughed A7ril 0'
very heartily upon the Reading of that very Paper of
yours: And the Truth on it is, he must be a Man of
more than ordinary Constancy that could stand it out
against so much Comedy, and not do as we did, Now
there are few Men in the World so far lost to all good
Sense, as to look upon you to be a Man in a State of
Folly inferior to himself, Pray then, how do you justify
your Hypothesis of Laughter?
Thursday, the 26th of       Your most humble,
the Month of Fools,                         Q, R,'
'Sirt,
In answer to your Letter, I must desire you to recollect
your self; and you will find, that when you did me the
Honour to be so merry over my Paper, you laughed at
the Idiot, the German Courtier, the Gaper, the MerryAndrew, the Haberdasher, the Biter, the Butt, and not at
Your humble Servant,
The SPECTATOR.
No, 53,
[STEELE,]                            Tuesday, May 1,
-— Q  uandoque bonus dormitat Homerus,-Hor,
Y Correspondents grow so numerous, that I cannot
avoid frequently inserting their Applications to me,
'Mr, SPECTATOR,
I am glad I can inform you, that your Endeavours to
adorn that Sex, which is the fairest Part of the visible
Creation, are well received, and like to prove not unsuco
cessful, The Triumph of Daphne over her Sister Letitia
has been the Subject of Conversation at several TeaTables where I have been present; and I have observed
the fair Circle not a little pleased to find you considering
them as reasonable Creatures, and endeavouring to banish
that Mahometan Custom, which had too much prevailed
even in this Island, of treating Women as if they had no
Souls, I must do them the Justice to say, that there seems
to




196


THE SPECTATOR


No, 53,  to be nothing wanting to the finishing of these lovely
Tuesday, Pieces of human Nature, besides the turning and applying
May 1,  their Ambition properly, and the keeping them  up to a
Sense of what is their true Merit, Epictetus, that plain
honest Philosopher, as little as he had of Gallantry, appears
to have understood them, as well as the polite St, Evre,
mont, and has hit this Point very luckily, When Young
Women, says he, arrive at a certain Age, they hear
themselves called Mistresses, and are made to believe
that their only Business is to please the Men / they
immediately begin to Dress, and place all their Hopes
in the adorning of their Persons / it is therefore, con,
tinues he, worth the while to endeavour by all Means
to make them sensible, that the Honour paid to them
is only upon Account of their conducting themselves
with Virtue, Modesty, and Discretion,
Now to pursue the Matter yet further, and to render
your Cares for the Improvement of the Fair Ones more
effectual, I would propose a new Method, like those Applications which are said to convey their Virtue by Sym,
pathy; and that is, that in order to embellish the Mistress,
you should give a new Education to the Lover, and teach
the Men not to be any longer dazled by false Charms
and unreal Beauty, I cannot but think that if our Sex
knew always how to place their Esteem justly, the other
would not be so often wanting to themselves in deserving
it, For as the being enamoured with a Woman of Sense
and Virtue is an Improvement to a Man's Understanding
and Morals, and the Passion is ennobled by the Object
which inspires it; so on the other side, the appearing
amiable to a Man of a wise and elegant Mind, carries in
it self no small Degree of Merit and Accomplishment,
I conclude therefore, that one way to make the Women
yet more agreeable is, to make the Men more virtuous,
I am, Sir,
Your most Humble Servant,
R. B,'
'Sir,                               April 26,
Yours of Saturday last I read, not without some
Resentment; but I will suppose when you say you
expect




THE SPECTATOR


197


expect an Inundation of Ribbons and Brocades, and to No, 53,
see many new    Vanities which the Women will fall Tuesday,
into upon a Peace with France, that you intend only 1May
the unthinking Part of our Sex; And what Methods
can reduce them to Reason is hard to imagine,
But, Sir, there are others yet that your Instructions
might be of great Use to, who, after their best Endea,
vours, are sometimes at a Loss to acquit themselves to
a Censorious World: I am far from thinking you can
altogether disapprove of Conversation between Ladies
and Gentlemen, regulated by the Rules of Honour and
Prudence; and have thought it an Observation not ill
made, that where that was wholly denied, the Women
lost their Wit, and the Men their good Manners, 'Tis
sure, from those improper Liberties you mentioned,
that a sort of undistinguishing People shall banish from
their DrawingRooms the best bred Men in the World,
and condemn those that do not,    Your stating this
Point might, I think, be of good use, as well as much.oblige,
Sir,
Your Admirer, and
Most Humble Servant,
ANNA BELLA,'
No Answer to this, 'till Anna Bella sends a Descrip'
tion of those she calls the Best bred Men in the
World,
'Mr, SPECTATOR,
I am a Gentleman who for many Years last past have
been well known to be truly Splenatick, and that my
Spleen arises from having contracted so great a Delicacy,
by reading the best Authors, and keeping the most
refined Company, that I cannot bear the least Impropriety of Language, or Rusticity of Behaviour,  Now,
Sir, I have ever looked upon this as a wise Distemper;
but by late Observations find that every heavy Wretch,
who has nothing to say, excuses his Dulness by com,
plaining of the Spleen, Nay, I saw, the other Day, two
Fellows in a Tavern Kitchen set up for it, call for a
Pint




198


THE SPECTATOR.4o. 53.  Pint and Pipes, and only by Guzling Liquor to each
Tuesday, other's Health, and wasting Smoak in each other's Face,
y 1,     pretend    to throw  off the Spleen,  I appeal to you,
whether these Dishonours are to be done to the Distemper of the Great and the Polite, I beseech you, Sir,
to inform these Fellows that they have not the Spleen,
because they cannot talk without the help of a Glass
at their Mouths, or convey their Meaning to each other
without the Interposition of Clouds, If you will not
do this with all speed, I assure you, for my part, I will
wholly quit the Disease, and for the future be merry
with the Vulgar,
I am, Sir,
Your Humble Servant,'
'Sir,
This is to let you understand, that I am a reformed
Starer, and conceived a Detestation for that Practice
from what you have writ upon the Subject, But as
you have been very severe upon the Behaviour of us
Men at Divine Service, I hope you will not be so
apparently partial to the Women, as to let them  go
wholly unobserved, If they do every thing that is
possible to attract our Eyes, are we more culpable than
they, for looking at them?  I happened last Sunday
to be shut into a Pew, which was full of young Ladies
in the Bloom of Youth and Beauty, When the Service
began, I had not Room to kneel at the Confession, but
as I stood kept my Eyes from wandring as well as I
was able, till one of the young Ladies, who is a Peeper,
resolved to bring down my Looks, and. fix my Devotion
on her self, You are to know, Sir, that a Peeper works
with her Hands, Eyes, and Fan; one of which is con,
tinually in motion, while she thinks she is not actually
the Admiration of some Ogler or Starer in the Con,
gregation, As I stood utterly at a loss how to behave
my self, surrounded as I was, this Peeper so placed
herself as to be kneeling just before me, She displayed
the most beautiful Bosom imaginable, which heaved and
fell with some Fervour, while a delicate wellshaped
Arm held a Fan over her Face, It was not in Nature
to




THE SPECTATOR


199


to command one's Eyes from this Object, I could not No, 53,
avoid taking notice also of her Fan, which had on it Tuesday,
various Figures, very improper to behold on     that7y 1
occasion, There lay in the Body of the Piece a Venus,
under a Purple Canopy furled with curious Wreaths of
Drapery, half naked, attended with a Train of Cupids,
who were busied in Fanning her as she slept, Behind
her was drawn a Satyr peeping over the silken Fence,
and threatening to break through it, I frequently offered
to turn my Sight another way, but was still detained
by the Fascination of the Peeper's Eyes, who had long
practised a Skill in them, to recal the parting Glances
of her Beholders,  You see my Complaint, and hope
you will take these mischievous People, the Peepers,
into your Consideration, I doubt not but you will think
a Peeper as much more pernicious than a Starer, as
an Ambuscade is more to be feared than an open
Assault,
I am, Sir,
Your most Obedient Servant,'
This Peeper using both Fan and Eyes to be considered as a Pict, and proceed accordingly,
'King Latinus to the Spectator, Greeting,
Though some may think we descend from our Im,
perial Dignity, in holding Correspondence with a
private Litterato; yet as we have great Respect to all
good Intentions for our Service, we do not esteem it
beneath us to return you our Royal Thanks for what
you published in our Behalf, while under Confinement
in the inchanted Castle of the Savoy, and for your
Mention of a Subsidy for a Prince in Misfortune, This
your timely Zeal has inclined the Hearts of divers to
be aiding unto us, if we could propose the Means,
We have taken their Goodwill into Consideration, and
have contrived a Method which will be easie to those
who shall give the Aid, and not unacceptable to us
who receive it,  A Consort of Musick shall be pre,
pared at Haberdashers-Hall for Wednesday the Second
of May, and we will honour the said Entertainment
with our own Presence, where each Person shall be
assessed




200


THE SPECTATOR,No. 53,  assessed but at two Shillings and six Pence,  What
Tuesday, we expect from   you is, that you publish these our
May 1,   Royal Intentions, with Injunction that they be read at
1,      all TeaTables within the Cities of London and Westminster; and so we bid you heartily Farewel,
Latinus, King of the Volscians,
Given at our Court in Vinegar/Yard, Story the
Third from  the Earth, April 28, 1711'            R
No, 54,
[STEELE,]                         Wednesday, May 2.
Strenua nos exercet inertia,-Hor,
THE following Letter being the first that I have
received from  the learned University of Cambridge, I could not but do my self the Honour of
publishing it, It gives an Account of a new Sect of
Philosophers which has arose in that famous Residence
of Learning; and is, perhaps, the only Sect this Age
is likely to produce,
'Mr, SPECTATOR,          Cambridge, April 26,
Believing you to be an universal Encourager of
liberal Arts and Sciences, and glad of any Information
from  the learned World, I thought an Account of a
Sect of Philosophers very frequent among us, but not
taken notice of, as far as I can remember, by any
Writers either ancient or modern, would not be unacceptable to you.  The Philosophers of this Sect are,
in the Language of our University called Lowngers,
I am of Opinion, that, as in many other things, so
likewise in this, the Ancients have been defective;
viz in mentioning no Philosophers of this sort  Some
indeed will affirm that they are a kind of Peripateticks,
because we see them continually walking about, But
I would have these Gentlemen consider, that tho' the
ancient Peripateticks walked much, yet they wrote much
also; (witness, to the Sorrow of this Sect, Aristotle
and others)J Whereas it is notorious that most of our
Professors never lay out a Farthing either in Pen,
Ink, or Paper, Others are for deriving them from
Diogenes




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201


Diogenes, because several of the leading Men of the No, 54,
Sect have a great deal of the Cynical Humour in them, Wednes,
and delight much in   Sunshine.   But then   again, y 2,
Diogenes was content to have his constant Habitation 1711.
in a narrow Tub, whilst our Philosophers are so far
from being of his Opinion, that it's Death to them to
be confined within the Limits of a good handsome
convenient Chamber but for half an Hour,     Others
there are, who from the Clearness of their Heads
deduce the Pedigree of Lowngers from that great Man
(I think it was either Plato or Socrates) who after all
his Study and Learning professed, That all he then
knew was, that he knew nothing, You easily see
this is but a shallow Argument, and may be soon
confuted,
I have with great Pains and Industry made my
Observations, from time to time, upon these Sages; and
having now all Materials ready, am compiling a Treatise,
wherein I shall set forth the Rise and Progress of this
famous Sect, together with their Maxims, Austerities,
Manner of living, &c, Having prevailed with a Friend
who designs shortly to publish a new Edition of Diogenes
Laertius, to add this Treatise of mine by way of Supple,
ment; I shall now, to let the World see what may be
expected from me (first begging Mr, SPECTATOR's Leave
that the World may see it) briefly touch upon some of
my chief Observations, and then subscribe my self your
humble Servant, In the first Place I shall give you two
or three of their Maxims: The fundamental one, upon
which their whole System is built, is this, vz, That
Time being an implacable Enemy to and Destroyer of
all things, ought to be paid in his own Coin, and be
destroyed and murdered without Mercy, by all the
Ways that can be invented,  Another favourite Saying
of theirs is, That Business was designed only for
Knaves, and Study for Blockheads, A Third seems to
be a ludicrous one, but has a great Effect upon their
Lives; and is this, That the Devil is at home, Now
for their Manner of Living  And here I have a large
Field to expatiate in; but I shall reserve Particulars for
my intended Discourse, and now only mention one or
two




202


THE SPECTATOR


iNo. 54  two of their principal Exercises,  The elder Proficients
Wedness employ themselves in    inspecting mores   hominum
dyl, 2   multorum, in getting acquainted with all the Signs and
May 2,
1711    Windows in the Town, Some are arrived to so great
Knowledge, that they can tell every time any Butcher
kills a Calf, every time an old Woman's Cat is in the
Straw; and a thousand other Matters as important, One
ancient Philosopher contemplates two or three Hours
every Day over a SunDial; and is true to the Dial,
--     As the Dial to the Sun,
Although it be not shone upon,
Our younger Students are content to carry their
Speculations as yet no farther than BowlingGreens,
BilliardTables, and such like Places, This may serve
for a Sketch of my Design; in which I hope I shall
have your Encouragement,
I am, Sir,
Yours'
I must be so just as to observe I have formerly seen
of this Sect at our other University; tho' not distin,
guished by the Appellation which the learned Historian,
my Correspondent, reports they bear at Cambridge,
They were ever looked upon as a People that impaired
themselves more by their strict Application to the Rules
of their Order, than any other Students whatever,
Others seldom hurt themselves any further than to
ain weak Eyes and sometimes Headaches; but these
Philosophers are seized all over with a general Inability,
Indolence, and Weariness, and a certain Impatience of
the Place they are in, with an Heaviness in removing
to another,
The Lowngers are satisfied with being merely Part
of the Number of Mankind, without distinguishing themselves from amongst them, They may be said rather
to suffer their Time to pass, than to spend it, without
Regard to the past, or Prospect of the future, All they
know of Life is only the present Instant, and do not
taste even that, When one of this Order happens to be
a Man of Fortune, the Expence of his Time is transferred
to




THE SPECTATOR


203


to his Coach and Horses, and his Life is to be measured No, 54,
by their Motion, not his own Enjoyments or Sufferings, Wednes,
The chief Entertainment one of these Philosophers can day,
possibly propose to himself, is to get a Relish of Dress, 1711,
This, methinks, might diversifie the Person he is weary
of (his own dear self) to himself, I have known these
two Amusements make one of these Philosophers make
a tolerable Figure in the World; with Variety of Dresses
in publick Assemblies in Town, and quick Motion of
his Horses out of it, now to Bath, now to Tunbridge,
then to New-wMarket, and then to London, he has in
Process of time brought it to pass, that his Coach and
his Horses have been mentioned in all those Places,
When the Lowngers leave an Academick Life, and
instead of this more elegant way of appearing in the
polite World, retire to the Seats of their Ancestors, they
usually join a Pack of Dogs, and employ their Days in
defending their Poultry from  Foxes,  do not know
any other Method that any of this Order has ever taken
to make a Noise in the World; but I shall enquire into
such about this Town as have arrived at the Dignity
of being Lowngers by    the Force of natural Parts,
without having ever seen an University; and send
my Correspondent, for the Embellishment of his Book,
the Names and History of those who pass their Lives
without any Incidents at all; and how they shift Coffee,
houses and Chocolatehouses from Hour to Hour, to get
over the insupportable Labour of doing nothing,   R
No, 55,
[ADDISON,]                         Thursday, May 3,
-— Intus & in jecore aegro
Nascuntur domini —, ----Pers
M    OST of the Trades, Professions, and Ways of Living
among Mankind, take their Original either from
the Love of Pleasure, or the Fear of Want, The former,
when it becomes too violent, degenerates into Luxury,
and the latter into Avarice, As these two Principles of
Action draw different Ways, Persius has given us a
very humorous Account of a young Fellow who was
rouzed




204              THE SPECTATOR
No 55.    rouzed out of his Bed, in order to be sent upon a long
Thursday, Voyage by Avarice, and afterwards over-persuaded and
May 3,    kept at Home by Luxury.        I shall set down at length
the Pleadings of these two imaginary Persons, as they
are in the Original, with Mr, Dryden's Translation of
them,
Mane, piger, stertis  Surge, inquit Avaritia eja
Surge, Negas, Instati surge inquit, Non queo, Surge,
Et quid agami   Rogitas? Saperdas advehe Ponto,
Castoreum, stuppas, hebenum, thus, lubrica Coa,
Tolle recens primus piper e sitienie camelo,
Verte aliquids jura, Sed upiter audiet, Eheul
Baro, regustatum digito terebrare sailnum
Contentus perages, si vivere cum Jove tendis,
Jam pueris pellem succinctus & oenophorum aptas s
Ocyus ad navem, Nil obstat, quin trabe vasta.Egaeum rapias, nisi solers Luxuria ante
Seductum moneat Quo deinde, insane, ruis   Quo
Quid tibi vis  Caldo sub pectore mascula bills
Inlumuit, quam non extinxerit urna cicutae,
Tun' mare transilias? Tibi torta cannabe fulto
Coena sit in transtro  Veientanumque rubellum
Exhalet vapida laesum pice sessilis obba!
Quid petis  Ut nummi, quos hic quincunce modesto
Nutrieras, pergant avidos sudare deunces
Indulge genio  carpamus dulcia nostrum est
Quod vivis  cinis, & manes, & fabula fies,
Vive memor lethil fugit hora. Hoc quod loquor, inde est,
En quid agis! Duplici in diversum scinderis hamo,
Huncine, an hunc sequeris ---
Whether alone, or in thy Harlot's Lap,
When thou would'st take a lazy Morning's Nap,
Up, Up, says AVARICEI thou snor'st again,
Stretchest thy Limbs, and yawn'st, but all in vain,
The rugged Tyrant no Denial takes f
At his Command th' unwilling Sluggard wakes.
What must I do? he cries; What I says his Lord
Why rise, make ready, and go straight Aboard
With Fish, from Euxine Seas, thy Vessel freight;
Flax, Castor, Coan Wines, the precious Weight
Of Pepper, and Sabean Incense, take
With thy own Hands, from the tir'd Camel's Back,
And with Poste-haste thy running Markets make J
Be sure to turn the Penny I Lye and Swear,
Tis wholsom Sin: But Jove, thou say'st, will hear,
Swear, Fool, or Starve; for the Dilemma's even f
A Tradesman thou I and hope to go to Heav'n?
Resolv'd




THE SPECTATOR                       205
Resolv'd for Sea, the Slaves thy Baggage pack,  No. 55.
Each saddled with his Burden on his Back         Thursday,
Nothing retards thy Voyage, now  but He,         May 3,
That soft voluptuous Prince, call'd LUXURYI      1711
And he may ask this civil Question  Friend,
What dost thou make a Shipboard  To what end?
Art thou of Bethlem's noble College free?
Stark, staring mad, that thou would'st tempt the Sea?
Cubb'd in a Cabbin, on a Mattress laid,
On a brown George, with lowsie Swobbers fed,
Dead Wine that stinks of the Borachio, sup
From a foul Jack, or greasie Maple Cup?
Say, would'st thou bear all this, to raise thy Store,
From Six i'th'Hundred, to Six Hundred more?
Indulge, and to thy Genius freely give s
For, not to live at Ease, is not to live %
Death stalks behind thee, and each flying Hour
Does some loose Remnant of thy Life devour,
Live, while thou liv'st; for Death will make us all
A Name, a Nothing but an Old Wife's Tale,
Speak wilt thou Avarice or Pleasure chuse
To be thy Lord? Take one, and one refuse,
When a Government flourishes in Conquests, and
is secure from Foreign Attacks, it naturally falls into all
the Pleasures of Luxury  and as these Pleasures are very
expensive, they put those who are addicted to them upon
raising fresh Supplies of Mony, by all the Methods of
Rapaciousness and   Corruption; so that Avarice and
Luxury very often become one complicated Principle of
Action, in those whose Hearts are wholly set upon Ease,
Magnificence, and Pleasure, The most Elegant and
Correct of all the Latin Historians observes, that in his
time, when the most formidable States of the World were
subdued by the Romans, the Republick sunk into those
two Vices of a quite different Nature, Luxury and Avarice s
And accordingly describes Catiline as one who coveted
the Wealth of other Men, at the same time that he
squandred away his own, This Observation on the
Commonwealth, when it was in its height of Power
and Riches, holds good of all Governments that are
settled in a State of Ease and Prosperity. At such times
Men naturally endeavour to outshine one another in
Pomp and Splendor, and having no Fears to alarm them
from Abroad, indulge themselves in the Enjoyment of all
the Pleasures they can get into their Possession  which
naturally




206


THE SPECTATOR


No, 55,  naturally produces Avarice, and an immoderate Pursuit
Thursday, after Wealth and Riches,
May 3,    As I was humouring my self in the Speculation of
these two great Principles of Action, I could not forbear
throwing my Thoughts into a little kind of Allegory or
Fable, with which I shall here present my Reader,
There were two very powerful Tyrants engaged in
a perpetual War against each other, The Name of the
first was Luxury, and of the second Avarice, The
Aim of each of them was no less than Universal
Monarchy over the Hearts of Mankind, Luxury had
many Generals under him, who did him great Service,
as Pleasure, Mirth, Pomp, and Fashion, Avarice was
likewise very strong in his Officers, being faithfully
served by Hunger, Industry, Care and Watchfulnessf
He had likewise a Privy-Counsellor who was always
at his Elbow, and whispering something or other in
his Ear the Name of this Privy-Counsellor was Poverty,
As Avarice conducted himself by the Counsels of
Poverty, his Antagonist was entirely guided by the
Dictates and Advice of Plenty, who was his first
Counsellor and Minister of State, that concerted all his
Measures for him, and never departed out of his Sight,
While these two great Rivals were thus contending for
Empire, their Conquests were very various, Luxury got
Possession of one Heart, and Avarice of another, The
Father of a Family would often range himself under the
Banners of Avarice, and the Son under those of Luxury,
The Wife and Husband would often declare themselves
on the two different Parties; nay, the same Person
would very often side with one in his Youth, and revolt
to the other in his old Age, Indeed the wise Men of
the World stood Neuter; but alas I their Numbers were
not considerable, At length, when these two Potentates
had wearied themselves with waging War upon one
another, they agreed upon an Interview, at which neither
of their Counsellors were to be present, It is said that
Luxury began the Parly, and after having represented
the endless State of War in which they were engaged,
told his Enemy, with a Frankness of Heart which is
natural to him, that he believed they two should be very
good




THE SPECTATOR


207


good Friends, were it not for the Instigations of Poverty, No, 55,
that pernicious Counsellor, who made an ill use of his Thursday,
Ear, and filled him with groundless Apprehensions and May 3,
Prejudices, To this Avarice replied, that he looked upon 17
Plenty (the first Minister of his Antagonist) to be a
much more destructive Counsellor than Poverty, for
that he was perpetually suggesting Pleasures, banishing
all the necessary Cautions against Want, and consequently undermining those Principles on which the
Government of Avarice was founded, At last, in order
to an Accommodation, they agreed upon this Preliminary; That each of them should immediately dismiss
his PrivyCounsellor, When things were thus far ad,
justed towards a Peace, all other Differences were soon
accommodated, insomuch that for the future they resolved
to live as good Friends and Confederates, and to share
between them whatever Conquests were made on either
side, For this Reason, we now find Luxury and Avarice
taking Possession of the same Heart, and dividing the
same Person between them, To which I shall only add,
that since the discarding of the Counsellors above,
mentioned, Avarice supplies Luxury in the room of
Plenty, as Luxury prompts Avarice in the place of
Poverty,                                          C
No, 56,
[ADDISON,]                            Friday, May 4,
Felices errore suo -—,-Lucan,
HE      Americans believe that all Creatures have
Souls, not only Men and Women, but Brutes,
Vegetables, nay even the most inanimate things, as
Stocks and Stones, They believe the same of all the
Works of Art, as of Knives, Boats, Looking-glassess
And that as any of these Things perish, their Souls go
into another World, which is inhabited by the Ghosts
of Men and Women,      For this Reason they always
place by the Corpse of their dead Friend a Bow and
Arrows, that he may make use of the Souls of them
in the other World, as he did of their wooden Bodies
in




208


THE SPECTATOR


No, 56,  in this, How absurd soever such an Opinion as this
Friday,  may appear, our European Philosophers have main,
May ', tained several Notions altogether as improbable, Some
of Plato's Followers in particular, when they talk of
the World of Ideas, entertain us with Substances and
Beings no less extravagant and chymerical,   Many
Aristotelians have likewise spoken as unintelligibly of
their substantial Forms, I shall only instance Albertus
Magnus, who in his Dissertation upon the Loadstone
observing that Fire will destroy its Magnetick Virtues,
tells us that he took particular Notice of one as it lay
glowing amidst an Heap of burning Coals, and that he
perceived a certain blue Vapour to arise from it, which
he believed might be the substantial Form, that is, in
our West-Indian Phrase, the Soul of the Loadstone,
There is a Tradition among the Americans, that one
of their Countrymen descended in a Vision to the
great Repository of Souls, or, as we call it here, to the
other World; and that upon his Return he gave his
Friends a distinct Account of every thing he saw among
those Regions of the Dead, A Friend of mine, whom
I have formerly mentioned, prevailed upon one of the
Interpreters of the Indian Kings to enquire of them,
if possible, what Tradition they have among them of
this Matters Which, as well as he could learn by those
many Questions which he asked them at several Times,
was in Substance as follows,
The Visionary, whose Name was Marraton, after
having travelled for a long Space under an hollow
Mountain, arrived at length on the Confines of this
World of Spirits, but could not enter it by reason of a
thick Forest made up of Bushes, Brambles, and pointed
Thorns, so perplexed and interwoven with one another
that it was impossible to find a Passage through it,
Whilst he was looking about for some Track or Pathway that might be worn in any Part of it, he saw an
huge Lion crouched under the Side of it, who kept his
Eye upon him in the same Posture as when he watches
for his Prey. The Indian immediately started back,
whilst the Lion rose with a Spring, and leaped towards
him. Being wholly destitute of all other Weapons, he
stooped




THE SPECTATOR


209


stooped down to take up an huge Stone in his Hand; but No, 56.
to his infinite Surprize grasped nothing, and found the Friday,
supposed Stone to be only the Apparition of one. If he May 4,
was disappointed on this Side, he was as much pleased
on the other, when he found the Lion, which had seized
on his left Shoulder, had no Power to hurt him, and
was only the Ghost of that ravenous Creature which it
appeared to be, He no sooner got rid of his impotent
Enemy, but he marched up to the Wood, and after having
surveyed it for some time, endeavoured to press into one
Part of it that was a little thinner than the rest; when
again, to his great Surprize, he found the Bushes made
no Resistance, but that he walked through Briars and
Brambles with the same Ease as through the open Air;
and, in short, that the whole Wood was nothing else but
a Wood of Shades, He immediately concluded, that this
huge Thicket of Thorns and Brakes was designed as a
kind of Fence or quickset Hedge to the Ghosts it inclosed; and that probably their soft Substances might
be torn by these subtle Points and Prickles, which were
too weak to make any Im ressions in Flesh and Blood,
With this Thought he resolved to travel through this
intricate Wood; when by degrees he felt a Gale of Perfumes breathing upon him, that grew stronger and
sweeter in proportion as he advanced,   He had not
proceeded much further when he observed the Thorns
and Briars to end, and give Place to a thousand beautiful
green Trees covered with Blossoms of the finest Scents
and Colours, that formed a Wilderness of Sweets, and
were a kind of Lining to those ragged Scenes which he
had before passed through, As he was coming out of
this delightful Part of the Wood, and entering upon the
Plains it inclosed, he saw several Horsemen rushing
by him, and a little while after heard the Cry of a Pack
of Dogs, He had not listened long before he saw the
Apparition of a milk-white Steed, with a young Man
on the Back of it, advancing upon full Stretch after the
Souls of about an hundred Beagles that were hunting
down the Ghost of an Hare, which ran away before
them  with an unspeakable Swiftness, As the Man on
the milkwhite Steed came by him, he looked upon him
o                      very




210


THE SPECTATOR


No. 56,  very attentively, and found him to be the young Prince
Friday,  Nicharagua, who died about half a Year before, and by
May 4,  reason of his great Virtues, was at that time lamented
over all the Western Parts of America.
He had no sooner got out of the Wood, but he was
entertained with such a Landskip of flowry Plains, green
Meadows, running Streams, sunny Hills, and shady Vales,
as were not to be represented by his own Expressions,
nor, as he said, by the Conceptions of others. This
happy Region was peopled with innumerable Swarms
of Spirits, who applied themselves to Exercises and
Diversions according as their Fancies led them, Some
of them were tossing the Figure of a Coit; others were
pitching the Shadow of a Bar; others were breaking the
Apparition of a Horse; and Multitudes employing themselves upon ingenious Handicrafts with the Souls of
departed Utensils; for that is the Name which in the
Indian Language they give their Tools when they are
burnt or broken, As he travelled thro' this delightful
Scene, he was very often tempted to pluck the Flowers
that rose every where about him in the greatest Variety
and Profusion, having never seen several of them in his
own Country, But he quickly found that though they
were Objects of his Sight, they were not liable to his
Touch, He at length came to the Side of a great River,
and being a good Fisherman himself, stood upon the
Banks of it some time to look upon an Angler that had
taken a great many Shapes of Fishes, which lay flouncing
up and down by him,
I should have told my Reader, that this Indian had
been formerly married to one of the greatest Beauties of
his Country, by whom he had several Children, This
Couple were so famous for their Love and Constancy to
one another, that the Indians to this Day, when they give
a married Man Joy of his Wife, wish that they may live
together like Marraton and Yaratilda,  Marraton had
not stood long by the Fisherman when he saw the
Shadow of his beloved Yaratilda, who had for some time
fixed her Eye upon him, before he discovered her, Her
Arms were stretched out towards him, Floods of Tears
ran down her Eyes; her Looks, her Hands, her Voice
called




THE SPECTATOR


211


called him over to her; and at the same time seemed to No, 56
tell him that the River was unpassable, Who can de, Fridaly,
scribe the Passion made up of Joy, Sorrow, Love, Desire, My 4,
Astonishment, that rose in the Indian upon the Sight of1711
his dear Yaratilda? He could express it by nothing but
his Tears, which ran like a River down his Cheeks as he
looked upon her, He had not stood in this Posture long,
before he plunged into the Stream that lay before him;
and finding it to be nothing but the Phantom of a River,
walked on the Bottom of it till he arose on the other Side,
At his Approach Yaratilda flew into his Arms, whilst
Marraton wished himself disencumbered of that Body
which kept her from   his Embraces,   After many
Questions and Endearments on both Sides, she con,
ducted him to a Bower which she had dressed with her
own Hands, with all the Ornaments that could be met
with in those blooming Regions, She had made it gay be,
yond Imagination, and was every Day adding something
new to it, As Marraton stood astonished at the unspeakable Beauty of her Habitation, and ravished with the
Fragrancy that came from every Part of it, Yaratilda
told him that she was preparing this Bower for his
Reception, as well knowing that his Piety to his God, and
his faithful Dealing towards Men, would certainly bring
him to that happy Place, whenever his Life should be at
an End, She then brought two of her Children to him,
who died some Years before, and resided with her in the
same delightful Bower; advising him to breed up those
others which were still with him in such a manner, that
they might hereafter all of them meet together in this
happy Place
The Tradition tells us further, that he had afterwards a
Sight of those dismal Habitations which are the Portion
of ill Men after Death; and mentions several Molten Seas
of Gold, in which were plunged the Souls of barbarous
Europeans, who put to the Sword so many Thousands of
poor Indians for the sake of that precious Metals But
having already touched upon the chief Points of this
Tradition, and exceeded the Measure of my Paper, I shall
not give any further Account of it,             C
Saturday




212


THE SPECTATOR


%oo 57, No, 57,
aturday,
day s,  [ADDISON,]                          Saturday, May 5,
711,         Quem praestare potest muler galeata pudorem,
Quae fugit a sexu 7 ----Juv.
W     XHEN  the Wife of Hector, in Homer's Iliads,
V  discourses with her Husband about the Battel in
which he was going to engage, the Hero, desiring her to
leave that Matter to his Care, bids her go to her Maids
and mind her Spinnings By which the Poet intimates,
that Men and Women ought to busie themselves in their
proper Spheres, and on such Matters only as are suitable
to their respective Sex.
I am at this time acquainted with a young Gentleman,
who has passed a great Part of his Life in the Nursery,
and, upon Occasion, can make a Caudle or a Sack Posset
better than any Man in England, He is likewise a
wonderful Critick in Cambrick and Muslins, and will talk
an Hour together upon a Sweet-meat, He entertains his
Mother every Night with Observations that he makes
both in Town and Courts As what Lady shows the
nicest Fancy in her Dress; what Man of Quality wears
the fairest Wig; who has the finest Linnen, who the
prettiest Snuffbox, with many other the like curious
Remarks that may be made in good Company,
On the other hand I have very frequently the
Opportunity of seeing a Rural Andromache, who came
up to Town last Winter, and is one of the greatest
Fox Hunters in the Country.    She talks of Hounds
and Horses, and makes nothing of leaping over a Six,
bar Gate. If a Man tells her a waggish Story, she
gives him a Push with her Hand in jest, and calls
him an impudent Dog; and if her Servant neglects
his Business, threatens to kick him out of the House.
I have heard her, in her Wrath, call a Substantial
Trades-man a Lousie Cur; and remember one Day,
when she could not think of the Name of a Person,
she described him, in a large Company of Men and
Ladies, by the Fellow with the Broad Shoulders,
If those Speeches and Actions, which in their own
Nature are indifferent, appear ridiculous when they pro,
ceed




THE SPECTATOR


213


ceed from a wrong Sex, the Faults and Imperfections of No, 57,  i
one Sex transplanted into another, appear black and Saturday,
monstrous,  As for the Men, I shall not in this Paper My 5
any further concern my self about them; but as I
would fain contribute to make Womankind, which
is the most beautiful Part of the Creation, entirely
amiable, and  wear out all those little  Spots and
Blemishes that are apt to rise among the Charms
which Nature has poured out upon them, I shall
dedicate this Paper to their Service,  The Spot which
I would here endeavour to clear them of, is that Party,
Rage which of late Years is very much crept into
their Conversation, This is, in its Nature, a Male Vice,
and made up of many angry and cruel Passions that
are altogether repugnant to the Softness, the Modesty,
and those other endearing Qualities which are natural
to the Fair Sex,   Women were formed to temper
Mankind, and sooth them  into Tenderness and Cornm
passion; not to set an Edge upon their Minds, and
blow up in them those Passions which are too apt to
rise of their own Accord, When I have seen a pretty
Mouth uttering Calumnies and Invectives, what would
I not have given to have stopt it? How have I been
troubled to see some of the finest Features in the
World  grow   pale, and  tremble with  Party-,Rage?
Camilla is one of the greatest Beauties in the British
Nation, and yet values her self more upon being the
Virago of one Party, than upon being the Toast of
both,  The Dear Creature, about a Week ago, encountred the fierce and beautiful Penthesilea across a
TeaTable; but in the height of her Anger, as her
Hand chanced to shake with the Earnestness of the
Dispute, she scalded her Fingers, and spilt a Dish of
Tea upon her Petticoat, Had not this Accident broke
off the Debate, no Body knows where it would have
ended,
There is one Consideration which I would earnestly
recommend to all my Female Readers, and which, I
hope, will have some weight with them, In short, it
is this, that there is nothing so bad for the Face as
PartyZeal, It gives an ill-natured Cast to the Eye, and
a




214


THE SPECTATOR


No, 57.  a disagreeable Sourness to the Look; besides, that it
Saturday, makes the Lines too strong, and flushes them worse
May 5,  than Brandy, I have seen a Woman's Face break out
in Heats, as she has been talking against a great Lord,
whom   she had never seen in her Life; and indeed
never knew a PartyWoman that kept her Beauty for
a Twelvemonth,    I would therefore advise all my
Female Readers, as they value their Complexions, to
let alone all Disputes of this Nature; though, at the
same time, I would give free Liberty to all supers
annuated motherly Partizans to be as violent as they
please, since there will be no danger either of their
spoiling their Faces, or of their gaining Converts,
For my own part, I think a Man makes an odious
and despicable Figure, that is violent in a Party; but a
Woman is too sincere to mitigate the Fury of her
Principles with Temper and Discretion, and to act
with that Caution and Reservedness which are requisite
in our Sex, When this unnatural Zeal gets into them,
it throws them into ten thousand Heats and Extrava,
gances; their generous Souls set no Bounds to their
Love, or to their Hatred; and whether a Whig or
Tory, a LapDog or a Gallant, an Opera or a Puppet,
Show, be the Object of it, the Passion, while it reigns,
engrosses the whole Woman,
Iremember when Dr, Titus Oates was in all his Glory,
I accompanied my Friend WILL. HONEYCOMB in a Visit to a
Lady of his Acquaintance, We were no sooner sate down,
but upon casting my Eyes about the Room, I found in
almost every Corner of it a Print that represented the
Doctor in all Magnitudes and Dimensions, A little after,
as the Lady was discoursing my Friend, and held her
SnuffBox in her Hand, who should I see in the Lid of it
but the Doctor, It was not long after this, when she had
occasion for her Handkerchief, which upon the first open,
ing discovered among the Plaites of it the Figure of the
Doctor, Upon this my Friend WILL. who loves Raillery,
told her, That if he was in Mr, Truelove's Place (for that
was the Name of her Husband) he should be made as
uneasie by a Handkerchief as ever Othello was, I am
afraid, said she, Mr. HoNEYCOMB, you are a Tory/ tell me
truly




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215


truly, are you a Friend to the Doctor or not   WIL. No. 57,
instead of making her a Reply, smiled in her Face (for Saturday,
indeed she was very pretty) and told her that one of her May 5
Patches was dropping off, She immediately adjusted it,
and looking a little seriously, Well, says she, I'll be
hanged if you and your silent Friend there are not
against the Doctor in your Hearts, I suspected as much
by his saying nothing,  Upon this she took her Fan into
her Hand, and upon the opening of it again displayed to
us the Figure of the Doctor, who was placed with great
Gravity among the Sticks of it, In a word, I found that
the Doctor had taken Possession of her Thoughts, her
Discourse, and most of her Furniture; but finding my
self pressed too close by her Question, I winked upon my
Friend to take his Leave, which he did accordingly, C
No, 58,
[ADDISON,]                           Monday, May 7,
Ut pictura poesis erit ---,-Hor,
\    OTHING is so much admired, and so little understood,
as Wit, No Author that I know of has written pro,
fessedly upon it and as for those who make any Mention
of it, they only treat on the Subject as it has accidentally
fallen in their Way, and that too in little short Reflections,
or in general declamatory Flourishes, without entring into
the Bottom of the Matter, I hope therefore I shall perform
an acceptable Work to my Countrymen, if I treat at large
upon this Subject; which I shall endeavour to do in a
Manner suitable to it, that I may not incur the Censure
which a famous Critick bestows upon one who had
written a Treatise upon the Sublime in a low groveling
Stile, I intend to lay aside a whole Week for this Undero
taking, that the Scheme of my Thoughts may not be
broken and interrupted  and I dare promise my self, if
my Readers will give me a Week's Attention, that this
great City will be very much changed for the better by
next Saturday Night, I shall endeavour to make what I
say intelligible to ordinary Capacities but if my Readers
meet with any Paper that in some Parts of it may be a
little




216


THE SPECTATOR


little out of their Reach, I would not have them discouraged, for they may assure themselves the next shall be
much clearer,
As the great and only End of these my Speculations is
to banish Vice and Ignorance out of the Territories of
Great Britain, I shall endeavour as much as possible to
establish among us a Taste of polite Writing, It is with
this View that I have endeavoured to set my Readers
right in several Points relating to Operas and Tragedies
and shall from Time to Time impart my Notions of
Comedy, as I think they may tend to its Refinement and
Perfection, I find by my Bookseller that these Papers of
Criticism, with that upon Humour, have met with a more
kind Reception than indeed I could have hoped for from
such Subjects; for which Reason I shall enter upon my
present Undertaking with greater Chearfulness,
In this, and one or two following Papers, I shall trace
out the History of false Wit, and distinguish the several
Kinds of it as they have prevailed in different Ages of the
World, This I think the more necessary at present, be,
cause I observed there were Attempts on foot last Winter
to revive some of those antiquated Modes of Wit that have
been long exploded out of the Commonwealth of Letters,
There were several Satyrs and Panegyricks handed about
in Acrostick, by which Means some of the most arrant
undisputed Blockheads about the Town began to entertain
ambitious Thoughts, and to set up for polite Authors, I
shall therefore describe at length those many Arts of
false Wit, in which a Writer does not shew himself a
Man of a beautiful Genius, but of great Industry,
The first Species of false Wit which I have met with
is very venerable for its Antiquity, and has produced
several Pieces which have lived very near as long as
the Iliad it self, I mean those short Poems printed
among the minor Greek Poets, which resemble the
Figure of an Egg, a Pair of Wings, an Ax, a Shepherd's
Pipe, and an Altar,
As for the first, it is a little oval Poem, and may
not improperly be called a Scholar's Egg,   I would
endeavour to hatch it, or, in more intelligible Language,
to translate it into English, did not I find the Interpreta,
tion




THE SPECTATOR


217


tion of it very difficult; for the Author seems to have No. 58,
been more intent upon the Figure of his Poem, than Monday
upon the Sense of it,                                 y 7
The Pair of Wings consist of twelve Verses, or rather 1711
Feathers, every Verse decreasing gradually in its Measure according to its Situation in the Wing, The Subject
of it (as in the rest of the Poems which follow) bears
some remote Affinity with the Figure, for it describes
a God of Love, who is always painted with Wings,
The Ax methinks would have been a good Figure
for a Lampoon, had the Edge of it consisted of the most
satyrical Parts of the Work; but as it is in the Original,
I take it to have been nothing else but the Posie of an Ax
which was consecrated to Minerva, and was thought
to have been the same that Epeus made use of in the
building of the Trojan Horse; which is a Hint I shall
leave to the Consideration of the Criticks, I am apt to
think that the Posie was written originally upon the
Ax, like those which our modern Cutlers inscribe upon
their Knives; and that therefore the Posie still remains
in its ancient Shape, though the Ax it self is lost,
The Shepherd's Pipe may be said to be full of Musick,
for it is composed of nine different Kinds of Verses,
which by their several Lengths resemble the nine
Stops of the old musical Instrument, that is likewise the
Subject of the Poem,
The Altar is inscribed with the Epitaph of Troilus
the son of Hecuba; which, by the way, makes me
believe, that these false Pieces of Wit are much more
ancient than the Authors to whom they are generally
ascribed; at least I will never be perswaded, that so
fine a Writer as Theocritus could have been the Author
of any such simple Works,
It was impossible for a Man to succeed in these
Performances who was not a kind of Painter, or at
least a Designers He was first of all to draw the Out,
line of the Subject which he intended to write upon,
and afterwards conform the Description to the Figure
of his Subject The Poetry was to contract or dilate
it self according to the Mould in which it was cast, In
a Word, the Verses were to be cramped or extended to
the




218


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No. 58,  the Dimensions of the Frame that was prepared for
Monday, them; and to undergo the Fate of those Persons whom
May 7   the Tyrant Procrustes used to lodge in his Iron Bed;
if they were too short he stretched them on a Rack,
and if they were too long chopped off a Part of their
Legs, till they fitted the Couch which he had prepared
for them,
Mr. Dryden hints at this obsolete kind of Wit in one
of the following Verses in his Mac Fleckno; which an
English Reader cannot understand, who does not know
that there are those little Poems abovementioned in the
Shape of Wings and Altars,
-- Chuse for thy Command
Some peaceful Province in Acrostick Landi
There may'st thou Wings display, and Altars raise,
And torture one poor Word a thousand Ways,
This Fashion of false Wit was revived by several
Poets of the last Age, and in particular may be met
with among Mr. Herbert's Poems; and, if I am not
mistaken, in the Translation of Du Bartas, I do not
remember any other Kind of Work among the Moderns
which more resembles the Performances I have men,
tioned, than that famous Picture of King Charles I,
which has the whole Book of Psalms written in the
Lines of the Face and the Hair of the Head, When I
was last at Oxford I perused one of the Whiskers; and
was reading the other, but could not go so far in it as I
would have done, by reason of the Impatience of my
Friends and FellowoTravellers, who all of them pressed
to see such a Piece of Curiosity. I have since heard,
that there is now an eminent WritingMaster in Town,
who has transcribed all the Old Testament in a full,
bottomed Perriwig; and if the Fashion should introduce
the thick Kind of Wigs which were in Vogue some few
Years ago, he promises to add two or three super,
numerary Locks that shall contain all the Apocrypha,
He designed this Wig originally for King William,
having disposed of the two Books of Kigs in the two
Forks of the Foretop; but that glorious Monarch dying
before the Wig was finished, there is a Space left in
it






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219


it for the Face of any one that has a mind to pur No, 58,
chase it,                                          Monday,
But to return to our ancient Poems in Picture, I My 7,
would humbly propose, for the Benefit of our modern
Smatterers in Poetry, that they would imitate their
Brethren among the Ancients in those ingenious Devices, I have communicated this Thought to a young
Poetical Lover of my Acquaintance, who intends to present
his Mistress with a Copy of Verses made in the shape of
her Fan; and, if he tells me true, has already finished
the three first Sticks of it, He has likewise promised
me to get the Measure of his Mistress's MarriageFinger,
with a Design to make a Posie in the Fashion of a Ring
which shall exactly fit it, It is so very easie to enlarge
upon a good Hint, that I do not question but my in,
genious Readers will apply what I have said to many
other Particulars; and that we shall see the Town filled
in a very little time with Poetical Tippets, Handkerchiefs,
Snuff-Boxes, and the like FemaleOrnaments. I shall
therefore conclude with a Word of Advice to those
admirable English Authors who call themselves Pin.
darick Writers, that they would apply themselves to this
Kind of Wit without Loss of Time, as being provided
better than any other Poets with Verses of all Sizes and
Dimensions,                                       C
No, 59,
[ADDISON,]                          Tuesday, May 8,
Operose n/hil agunt,-Sen,
T  HERE is nothing more certain than that every
Man would be a Wit if he could, and notwith,
standing Pedants of a pretended Depth and Solidity are
apt to decry the Writings of a polite Author, as Flash and
Froth, they all of them shew upon Occasion that they
would spare no Pains to arrive at the Character of those
whom they seem to despise, For this Reason we often
find them endeavouring at Works of Fancy, which cost
them infinite Pangs in the Production, The Truth of
it is, a Man had better be a GallySlave than a Wit, were
one to gain that Title by those Elaborate Trifles which
have




220


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No, 59,  have been the Inventions of such Authors as were often
Tuesday, Masters of Great Learning but no Genius,
May 8,    In my last Paper I mentioned some of those false Wits
among the Ancients, and in this shall give the Reader
two or three other Species of them, that flourished in
the same early Ages of the World, The first I shall
produce are the Lipogrammatists or Letter-droppers of
Antiquity, that would take an exception, without any
Reason, against some particular Letter in the Alphabet,
so as not to admit it once into a whole Poem, One
Tryphiodorus was a great Master in this kind of Writing,
He composed an Odissey or Epick Poem on the Adventures of Ulysses, consisting of four and twenty Books,
having entirely banished the letter A from his first Book,
which was called Alpha (as Lucus a non lucendo)
because there was not an Alpha in it, His second Book
was inscribed Beta, for the same Reason, In short, the
Poet excluded the whole four and twenty Letters in their
turns, and shewed them, one after another, that he could
do his Business without them,
It must have been very pleasant to have seen this
Poet avoiding the reprobate Letter, as much as another
would a false Quantity, and making his Escape from it
through the several Greek Dialects, when he was pressed
with it in any particular Syllable, For the most apt and
elegant Word in the whole Language was rejected, like a
Diamond with a Flaw in it, if it appeared blemished with a
wrong Letter, I shall only observe upon this Head, that
if the Work I have here mentioned had been now extant,
the Odissey of Tryphiodorus, in all probability, would
have been oftner quoted by our learned Pedants, than the
Odissey of Homer, What a perpetual Fund would it have
been of obsolete Words and Phrases, unusual Barbarisms
and Rusticities, absurd Spellings and complicated Dialects?
I make no Question but it would have been looked upon
as one of the most valuable Treasuries of the Greek
Tongue,
I ind likewise among the Ancients that ingenious
kind of Conceit, which the Moderns distinguish by the
Name of a Rebus, that does not sink a Letter but a
whole Word, by substituting a Picture in its place,
When




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221


When Caesar was one of the Masters of the Roman No, 59,
Mint, he placed the Figure of an Elephant upon the Tuesday,
Reverse of the Publick Mony; the Word Caesar signify, Maly 8,
ing an Elephant in the Punick Language, This was
artificially contrived by Caesar, because it was not lawful
for a private Man to stamp his own Figure upon the
Coin of the Commonwealth, Cicero, who was so called
from the Founder of his Family, that was marked on
the Nose with a little Wenn like a Vetch (which is Cicer
in Latin) instead of Marcus Tullius Cicero, ordered the
Words Marcus Tullius with the Figure of a Vetch at
the end of 'em to be inscribed on a Publick Monument,
This was done probably to shew that he was neither
ashamed of his Name or Family, notwithstanding the
Envy of his Competitors had often reproached him with
both, In the same manner we read of a famous Building
that was marked in several Parts of it with the Figures
of a Frog and a Lizard, Those Words in Greek having
been the Names of the Architects, who by the Laws
of their Country were never permitted to inscribe their
own Names upon their Works, For the same Reason
it is thought, that the Forelock of the Horse in the
AntiqueEquestrian Statue of Marcus Aurelius, represents
at a distance the Shape of an Owl, to intimate the
Country of the Statuary, who, in all probability, was an
Athenian, This kind of Wit was very much in Vogue
among our own Countrymen about an Age or two
ago, who did not practise it for any oblique Reason, as
the Ancients abovementioned, but purely for the sake
of being Witty,  Among innumerable Instances that
may be given of this Nature, I shall produce the Device
of one Mr, Newberry, as I find it mentioned by our
learned Camden in his Remains, Mr, Newberry, to
represent his Name by a Picture, hung up at his Door
the Sign of a Yew-tree, that had several Berries upon
it, and in the midst of them a great golden N hung
upon a Bough of the Tree, which by the help of a
little false Spelling made up the Word NVeweberry,
I shall conclude this Topick with a Rebus, which has
been lately hewn out in Freestone, and erected over two
of the Portals of Blenheim House, being the Figure of a
monstrous




222            THE SPECTATOR
No, 59,  monstrous Lion tearing to Pieces a little Cock, For the
Tuesday, better understanding of which Device, I must acquaint
May 8    my English Reader that a Cock has the Misfortune to be
called in Latin by the same Word that signifies a FrenchMan, as a Lion is the Emblem of the English Nation,
Such a Device in so noble a Pile of Building looks like
a Punn in an Heroick Poem; and I am very sorry the
truly ingenious Architect would suffer the Statuary to
blemish his excellent Plan with so poor a Conceits But
I hope what I have said will gain Quarter for the Cock,
and deliver him out of the Lion's Paw,
I find likewise in ancient Times the Conceit of
making an Eccho talk sensibly, and give rational Answers,
If this could be excusable in any Writer, it would be in
Ovid, where he introduces the Eccho as a Nymph, before
she was worn away into nothing but a Voice, The
learned Erasmus, tho' a Man of Wit and Genius, has
composed a Dialogue upon this silly kind of Device, and
made use of an Eccho who seems to have been a very
extraordinary Linguist, for she answers the Person she
talks with in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, according as
she found the Syllables which she was to repeat in any
of those learned Languages, Hudibras, in Ridicule of this
false kind of Wit, has described Bruin bewailing the Loss
of his Bear to a solitary Eccho, who is of great use to
the Poet in several Disticks, as she does not only repeat
after him, but helps out his Verse, and furnishes him
with Rhymes,
He rag'd, and kept as heavy a Coil as
Stout Hercules for loss of Hylas/
Forcing the Valles to repeat
The Accents of his sad Regrets
He beat his Breast, and tore his Hair,
For Loss of his dear Crony Bear,
That Eccho from the hollow Ground
His doleful Wailings did resound
More wistfully, by many times,
Than in small Poets Splay~foot Rhymes,
That make her, in their rueful Stories,
To answer to Int'rogatories,
And most unconscionably depose
Things of which She nothing knows
And when she has said all she can say,
'Tis




THE SPECTATOR                       223
'Tis wrested to the Lover's Fancy,             No 59,
Quoth he, 0 whither, wicked Bruin,             Tuesda
Art thou fled to my -   Eacho, Ruint           May 8,
I thought th' hadst scorn'd to budge a Step    171L
For Fear, (Quoth Eccho) Marry guep,
Am not I here to take thy Part
Then what has quell'd thy stubborn Heart!
Have these Bones rattled, and this Head
So often in thy Quarrel bled!
Nor did I ever winch or grudge it,
For thy dear Sake  (Quoth she) Mum budget,
Think'st thou 'twill not be laid i th' Dish
Thou turn'dst thy Back! Quoth Eccho, Pish,
To run from those th' hadst overcome
Thus cowardly! Quoth Eccho, Mum.
But what a.vengeance makes thee fly
From me too, as thine Enemy?
Or if thou hadst no Thought of me,
Nor what I have endur'd for Thee,
Yet Shame and Honour might prevail
To keep thee thus from turning Tail,
For who wou'd grudge to spend his Blood in
His Honour's Cause! Quoth she, A Pudding,    C
*No, 60,
[ADDISON,]                           Wednesday, May 9.
Hoc est quodpalles? Cur quis non prandeat, hoc est!
Per. Sat, 3,
SEVERAL kinds of false Wit that vanished in the
refined Ages of the World, discovered themselves
again in the Times of Monkish Ignorance,
As the Monks were the Masters of all that little Learn,
ing which was then extant, and had their whole Lives
entirely disengaged from Business, it is no Wonder that
several of them, who wanted Genius for higher Perfor,
mances, employed many Hours in the Composition of
such Tricks in Writing as required much Time and little
Capacity,  I have seen half the.Eneid turned       into
Latin Rhymes by one of the Beaux Esprits of that
dark Age    who says in his Preface to it, that the /Eneid
wanted nothing but the Sweets of Rhyme to make it
the most perfect Work in its kind, I have likewise seen
an Hymn in Hexameters to the Virgin Mary, which
filled a whole Book, tho' it consisted but of the eight
following Words
Tot




224            THE SPECTATOR
No, 60,        Tot, tibi, sunt, Virgo, dotes, quot, sidera, Coelo,
Wednes-    Thou hast as many Virtues, 0 Virgin, as there are Stars in
day,        Heaven,
May 9,
711,    The Poet rung the Changes upon these eight several Words,
and by that Means made his Verses almost as numerous
as the Virtues and the Stars which they celebrated, It is
no Wonder that Men who had so much Time upon their
Hands, did not only restore all the antiquated Pieces
of false Wit, but enriched the World with Inventions of
their own, It was to this Age that we owe the Production
of Anagrams, which is nothing else but a Transmutation
of one Word into another, or the turning of the same Set
of Letters into different Words; which may change Night
into Day, or Black into White, if Chance, who is the
Goddess that presides over these Sorts of Composition,
shall so direct, I remember a witty Author, in Allusion
to this kind of Writing, calls his Rival, who (it seems) was
distorted, and had his Limbs set in Places that did not
properly belong to them, The Anagram of a Man,
When the Anagrammatist takes a Name to work upon,
he considers it at first as a Mine not broken up, which
will not shew the Treasure it contains till he shall have
spent many Hours in the Search of it, For it is his
Business to find out one Word that conceals it self in another,
and to examine the Letters in all the Variety of Stations
in which they can possibly be ranged, I have heard of a
Gentleman who, when this Kind of Wit was in fashion,
endeavoured to gain his Mistress's Heart by it, She was
one of the finest Women of her Age, and known by the
Name of the Lady Mary Boon, The Lover not being
able to make any thing of Mary, by certain Liberties
indulged to this kind of Writing converted it into Moll;
and after having shut him self up for half a Year, with
indefatigable Industry produced an Anagram, Upon the
presenting it to his Mistress, who was a little vexed in
her Heart to see her self degraded into Moll Boon, she
told him, to his infinite Surprize, that he had mistaken
her Sirname, for that it was not Boon but Bohun,
--— Ii omnis
Effusus labor ---
The




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225


The Lover was thunderstruck with his Misfortune, No, 60.
insomuch that in a little Time after he lost his Senses, Wednes
which indeed had been very much impaired by that Mf 9
continual Application he had given to his Anagram,  171 f
The Acrostick was probably invented about the same
time with the Anagram, though it is impossible to decide
whether the Inventor of the one or the other were the
greater Blockhead, The Simple Acrostick is nothing but
the Name or Title of a Person or Thing made out of the
initial Letters of several Verses, and by that Means
written, after the Manner of the Chinese, in a per,
pendicular Line, But besides these there are Compound
Acrosticks, where the principal Letters stand two or three
deep, I have seen some of them where the Verses have
not only been edged by a Name at each Extremity,
but have had the same Name running down like a Seam
through the Middle of the Poem,
There is another near Relation of the Anagrams and
Acrosticks, which is commonly called a Chronogram,
This kind of Wit appears very often on many modern
Medals, especially those of Germany, when they repree
sent in the Inscription the Year in which they were
coined, Thus we see on a Medal of Gusfaphus Adolphus
the following Words, CHRIsTVs DuX ERGO TRIVMPHVs, If
you take the pains to pick the Figures out of the several
Words, and range them in their proper Order, you will
find they amount to MDCXVVVII, or 1627, the Year
in which the Medal was stamped   For as some of the
Letters distinguish themselves from the rest, and overtop their Fellows, they are to be considered in a double
Capacity, both as Letters and as Figures, Your laborious
German Wits will turn over a whole Dictionary for one
of these ingenious Devices, A Man would think they
were searching after an apt classical Term, but instead
of that they are looking out a Word that has an L, an M,
or a D in it When therefore we meet with any of these
Inscriptions, we are not so much to look in 'em for the
Thought, as for the Year of the Lord,
The Bouts Rimez were the Favourites of the French
Nation for a whole Age together, and that at a Time
when it abounded in   it and Learning. They were a
P                List




226           THE SPECTATOR
No. 60,  List of Words that rhyme to one another, drawn up by
Wedness another Hand, and given to a Poet, who was to make a
May,    Poem to the Rhymes in the same Order that they were
1711.   placed upon the Lists The more uncommon the Rhymes
were, the more extraordinary was the Genius of the Poet
that could accommodate his Verses to them, I do not
know any greater Instance of the Decay of Wit and
Learning among the French (which generally follows
the Declension of Empire) than the endeavouring to re,
store this foolish Kind of Wit If the Reader will be at
the Trouble to see Examples of it, let him look into the
new Mercure Galant; where the Author every Month
gives a List of Rhymes to be filled up by the Ingenious,
in order to be communicated to the Publick in the Mercure for the succeeding Month, That for the Month
of November last, which now lies before me, is as
follows..   -            -   -   -   -   -   -   Lau4ers
- - - - --         -   -   -   - -  Guerrfers
-            -   -   - - - - - - - - - - -  Musette
-   -   -   -   -   - - - - - - - -       Lsette.        -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   Cesars
- - - -  - - - - - -  - - - - -   -  -  Etendars.............-  -           Houlette
-    -   -   -   - - - - - - - - -  Folette
One would be amazed to see so learned a Man as Menage
talking seriously on this Kind of Trifle in the following
Passage,
Monsieur de la Chambre has told me, that he
never knew what he was going to write when he
took his Pen into his Hand/ but that one Sentence
always produced another, For my own Part, I never
knew what I should write next when I was making
Verses,  In the first Place I got all my Rhymes
together, and was afterwards perhaps three or four
Months in filling them   up,   I one Day shewed
Monsieur Gombaud a Composition of this Nature, in
which among others I had made use of the four
following Rhymes, Amaryllis, Phillis, Marne, Arne,
desiring him to give me his Opinion of it, He told
me




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227


me immediately, That my Verses were good for No, 60, i
nothing, And upon my asking his Reason, he said, Wcdi     e
Because the Rhymes are too common       and for that May 9,
Reason easie to be put into Verse,    Marry, says I 1711
if it be so, I am very well rewarded for all the Pains
I have been at,  But by Monsieur Gombaud's Leave,
notwithstanding the Severity of the Criticism, the
Verses were good, Vid, MENAGIANA, Thus far the
learned Menage, whom     I have translated Word for
Word,
The first Occasion of these Bouts Rimez made them
in some Manner excusable, as they were Tasks which
the French Ladies used to impose on their Lovers, But
when a grave Author, like him above-mentioned, tasked
himself, could there be any thing more ridiculous? Or
would not one be apt to believe that the Author played
booty, and did not make his List of Rhymes till he had
finished his Poem?
J shall only add, that this Piece of false Wit has been
finely ridiculed by Monsieur Sarasin, in a Poem entituled, La Defaite des Bouts-Rimez, The Rout of the
BoutsRimez,
I must subjoin to this last Kind of Wit the double
Rhymes, which are used in Doggerel Poetry, and generally applauded by ignorant Readers, If the Thought
of the Couplet in such Compositions is good, the Rhyme
adds little to it; and if bad, it will not be in the Power
of the Rhyme to recommend it, I am afraid that
great Numbers of those who admire the incomparable
Hudibras, do it more on account of these Doggerel
Rhymes than of the Parts that really deserve Admiration, I am sure I have heard the
Pulpit, Drum Ecclesiastick,
Was beat with Fist instead of a Stick,
and
There was an antient sage Philosopher
Who had read Alexander Ross over,
more frequently quoted, than the finest Pieces of Wit
in the whole Poem                                  C
Thursday




228
4o, 6L    No, 61,
rsday, [ADDISON,]
a.y 10


THE SPECTATOR


Thursday, May 10,


/11I


Non equidem hoc studeo, bullatis ut mihi nugis
Pagina furgescat, dare pondus idonea fumo,-Pers.
T    HERE is no kind of false Wit which has been so
recommended by the Practice of all Ages, as that
which consists in a Jingle of Words, and is comprehended under the general Name of Punning, It is
indeed impossible to kill a Weed, which the Soil has
a natural Disposition to produce, The Seeds of Punning
are in the Minds of all Men, and tho' they may be
subdued by Reason, Reflection, and good Sense, they
will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest Genius,
that is not broken and cultivated by the Rules of Art,
Imitation is natural to us, and when it does not raise
the Mind to Poetry, Painting, Musick, or other more
noble Arts, it often breaks out in Punns and Quibbles,
Aristotle, in the Eleventh Chapter of his Book of
Rhetorick, describes two or three kinds of Punns, which
he calls Paragrams, among the Beauties of good Writing,
and produces Instances of them out of some of the
greatest Authors in the Greek Tongue, Cicero has
sprinkled several of his Works with Punns, and in
his Book where he lays down the Rules of Oratory,
quotes abundance of Sayings as Pieces of Wit, which
also upon Examination prove arrant Punns, But the
Age in which the Punn chiefly flourished, was the
Reign of King James the First, That learned Monarch
was himself a tolerable Punnster, and made very few
Bishops or PrivyCounsellors that had not some time
or other signalized themselves by a Clinch, or a
Conundrum,    It was therefore in this Age that the
Punn appeared with Pomp and Dignity, It had before
been admitted into merry Speeches and ludicrous Compositions, but was now  delivered with great Gravity
from the Pulpit, or pronounced in the most solemn
manner at the Council-Table, The greatest Authors,
in their most serious Works, made frequent use of
Punns,   The Sermons of Bishop Andrews, and the
Tragedies of Shakespear, are full of them, The Sinner
was




THE SPECTATOR                    229
was punned into Repentance by the former, as in the No, 61,
latter nothing is more usual than to see a Hero weeping Thursday
and quibbling for a dozen Lines together,           May 10,
I must add to these great Authorities, which seem to 17
have given a kind of Sanction to this Piece of false Wit,  I
that all the Writers of Rhetorick have treated of Pun,
ning with very great Respect, and divided the several
kinds of it into hard Names, that are reckoned among
the Figures of Speech, and recommended as Ornaments
in Discourse,  I remember a Country Schoolmaster of
my Acquaintance told me once, that he had been in
Company with a Gentleman whom he looked upon to
be the greatest Paragrammatist among the Moderns,
Upon Enquiry, I found my learned Friend had dined
that Day with Mr, Swan, the famous Punnster; and
desiring him to give me some Account of Mr, Swan's
Conversation, he told me that he generally talked in
the Paranomasia, that he sometimes gave into the
Ploce, but that in his humble Opinion he shined most
in the Antanaclasis,
I must not here omit, that a famous University of
this Land was formerly very much infested with Punns;
but whether or no this might not arise from the Fens
and Marshes in which it was situated, and which are
now drained, I must leave to the Determination of
more skilful Naturalists,
After this short History of Punning, one would
wonder how it should be so entirely banished out of the
Learned World, as it is at present, especially since it had
found a Place in the Writings of the most ancient
Polite Authors, To account for this, we must consider,
that the first Race of Authors, who were the great
Heroes in Writing, were destitute of all Rules and Arts
of Criticism; and for that Reason, though they excel
later Writers in Greatness of Genius, they fall short of
them in Accuracy and Correctness, The Moderns can,
not reach their Beauties, but can avoid their Imperfections,
When the World was furnished with these Authors of
the first Eminence, there grew up another Set. of Writers,
who gained themselves a Reputation by the Remarks
which they made on the Works of those who preceded
them




230


THE SPECTATOR


4o. 61.  them, It was one of the Employments of these Seconds!hursday, ary Authors, to distinguish the several kinds of Wit by
ay 10,  Terms of Art, and to consider them   as more or less
perfect, according as they were founded in Truth, It is
no wonder therefore, that even such Authors as Isocrates,
Plato, and Cicero, should have such little Blemishes as
are not to be met with in Authors of a much inferior
Character, who have written since those several Blemishes were discovered, I do not find that there was a
proper Separation made between Punns and true Wit
by any of the ancient Authors, except Quintilian and
Longinus, But when this Distinction was once settled,
it was very natural for all Men of Sense to agree in it,
As for the Revival of this false Wit, it happened about
the time of the Revival of Letters; but as soon as it was
once detected, it immediately vanished and disappeared,
At the same time there is no question, but as it has
sunk in one Age and rose in another, it will again
recover it self in some distant Period of Time, as
Pedantry and Ignorance shall prevail upon Wit and
Sense, And, to speak the Truth, I do very much apprehend, by some of the last Winter's Productions, which
had their Sets of Admirers, that our Posterity will in
a few Years degenerate into a Race of Punnsters: At
least, a Man may be very excusable for any Apprehen,
sions of this kind, that has seen Acrosticks handed about
the Town with great Secrecie and Applause; to which
I must also add a little Epigram  called the Witches
Prayer, that fell into Verse when it was read either
backward or forward, excepting only that it Cursed one
way and Blessed the other, When one sees there are
actually such Pains-takers among our Brftish Wits, who
can tell what it may end in?    If we must Lash one
another, let it be with the manly Strokes of Wit and:Satyr; for I am of the old Philosopher's Opinion, That
if I must suffer from one or the other, I would rather
it should be from the Paw of a Lion, than the Hoof of
an Ass. I do not speak this out of any Spirit of Party,
There is a most crying Dulness on both Sides, I have
seen Tory Acrosticks and Whig Anagrams, and do not
quarrel with either of them, because they are Whigs
or




THE SPECTATOR


231


or Tories, but because they    are  Anagrams and No. 61
Acrosticks,                                         Thusday
But to return to Punning, Having pursued the History May 10
of a Punn, fom its Original to its Downfal, I shall here171
define it to be a Conceit arising from the use of two
Words that agree in the Sound, ut differ in the Sense.
The only way therefore to try a Piece of Wit, is to
translate it into a different Language If it bears the Test
you may pronounce it true; but if it vanishes in the
Experiment you may conclude it to have been a Punn.,
In short, one may say of a Punn as the Countryman
described his Nightingale, that it is vox & praeterea nihil,
a Sound, and nothing but a Sound, On the contrary,
one may represent true Wit by the Description which
Aristinetus makes of a fine Woman, When she is
dressed she is Beautiful, when she is undressed she is
Beautiful% Or, as Mercerus has translated it more
Emphatically, Induitur, formosa est Exuitur, ipsa forma
est,                                              C
No, 62.
[ADDISON,]                            Friday, May 1L
Scribendi recte sapere est & principium  tfons,-Hor,
M    R, Lock has an admirable Reflection upon the
Difference of Wit and Judgment, whereby he
endeavours to shew the Reason why they are not
always the Talents of the same Person, His Words are
as follows And hence, perhaps, may be given some
Reason of that common Observation, That Men who
have a great deal of Wit and prompt Memories, have
not always the clearest Judgment, or deepest Reason,
For Wit lying most in the Assemblage of Ideas, and
putting  those together with Quickness and Variety,
wherein can be found any Resemblance or Congruity,
thereby to make up pleasant Pictures and agreeable
Visions in the Fancy  Judgment, on the contrary, lies
quite on the other Side, In separating carefully one
from  another, Ideas wherein can be found the least
Difference, thereby to avoid being mislled by Similitude,
and by Affinity to take one thing for another, This is
a




232


THE SPECTATOR


No. 62,  a Way of proceeding quite contrary to Metaphor and
Friday    Allusion  wherein, for the most Part, lies that Enter,
Ma7y,    tainment and Pleasantry of Wit which strikes so lively
on the Fancy, and is therefore so acceptable to all People.
This is, I think, the best and most philosophical
Account that I have ever met with of Wit, which gener,
ally, though not always, consists in such a Resemblance
and Congruity of Ideas as this Author mentions, I shall
only add to it, by way of Explanation, That every Re,
semblance of Ideas is not that which we call Wit, unless
it be such an one that gives Delight and Surprize to the
Reader % These two Properties seem essential to Wit, more
particularly the last of them, In order therefore that the
Resemblance in the Ideas be Wit, it is necessary that the
Ideas should not lie too near one another in the Nature
of things; for where the Likeness is obvious, it gives no
Surprize, To compare one Man's Singing to that of
another, or to represent the Whiteness of any Object by
that of Milk and Snow, or the Variety of its Colours by
those of the Rainbow, cannot be called Wit, unless, besides
this obvious Resemblance, there be some further Con,
gruity discovered in the two Ideas that is capable of giving
the Reader some Surprize, Thus when a Poet tells us,
the Bosom of his Mistress is as white as Snow, there is
no Wit in the Comparison; but when he adds, with a
Sigh, that it is as cold too, it then grows into Wit, Every
Reader's Memory may supply him with innumerable
Instances of the same Nature, For this Reason, the Similitudes in Heroick Poets, who endeavour rather to fill
the Mind with great Conceptions, than to divert it with
such as are new and surprizing, have seldom any thing
in them that can be called Wit, Mr, Lock's Account of
Wit, with this short Explanation, comprehends most of
the Species of Wit, as Metaphors, Similitudes, Allegories,
/Enigmas, Mottos, Parables, Fables, Dreams, Visions,
dramatick Writings, Burlesque, and all the Methods of
Allusions As there are many other Pieces of Wit (how
remote soever they may appear at first Sight from  the
foregoing Description) which upon Examination will be
found to agree with it
As true Wit generally consists in this Resemblance and
Congruity




THE SPECTATOR


233


Congruity of Ideas, false Wit chiefly consists in the Re, No 62,
semblance and Congruity sometimes of single Letters, as Friday
in Anagrams, Chronograms, Lipograms, and Acrosticks fM7 11
Sometimes of Syllables, as in  Ecchos and Doggerel
Rhymes: Sometimes of Words, as in Punns and Quibbles;
and sometimes of whole Sentences or Poems, cast into the
Figures of Eggs, Axes or Altars: Nay, some carry the
Notion of Wit so far, as to ascribe it even to external
Mimickry; and to look upon a Man as an ingenious Person,
that can resemble the Tone, Posture, or Face of another,
As true Wit consists in the Resemblance of Ideas, and
false Wit in the Resemblance of Words, according to the
foregoing Instances; there is another kind of Wit which
consists partly in the Resemblance of Ideas, and partly in
the Resemblance of Words; which for Distinction Sake
I shall call mixt Wit, This Kind of Wit is that which
abounds in Cowley, more than in any Author that ever
wrote, Mr, Waller has likewise a great deal of it,
Mr, Dryden is very sparing in it, Milton had a Genius
much above it, Spencer is in the same class with Milton,
The Italians, even in their Epic Poetry, are full of it,
Monsieur Boileau, who formed himself upon the Ancient
Poets, has every where rejected it with Scorn, If we
look after mixt Wit among the Greek Writers, we shall
find it no where but in the Epigrammatists, There are
indeed some Strokes of it in the little Poem ascribed to
Musaeus, which by that, as well as many other Marks,
betrays it self to be a modern Composition, If we look into
the Latin Writers, we find none of this mixt Wit in Virgil,
Lucretius, or Catullus; very little in Horace, but a great
deal of it in Ovid, and scarce any thing else in Martial
Out of the innumerable Branches of mixt Wit, I shall
chuse one Instance which may be met with in all the
Writers of this Class, The Passion of Love in its Nature
has been thought to resemble Fire; for which Reason the
Words Fire and Flame are made use of to signifie Love,
The witty Poets therefore have taken an Advantage from
the doubtful Meaning of the Word Fire, to make an infinite
Number of Witticisms, Cowley observing the cold Re,
ard of his Mistress's Eyes, and at the same Time their
Power of producing Love in him, considers them as Burnm
ing




234


THE SPECTATOR


No. 62.  ingGlasses made of Ice; and finding himself able to live
Friday  in the greatest Extremities of Love, concludes the Torrid
i lay    Zone to be habitable, When his Mistress has read his
i;        Letter written in Juice of Lemmon by holding it to the
Fire, he desires her to read it over a second time by Love's
Flames, When she weeps, he wishes it were inward
Heat that distilled those Drops from the Limbeck. When
she is absent he is beyond eighty, that is, thirty Degrees
nearer the Pole than when she is with him, His ambitious Love is a Fire that naturally mounts upwards; his
happy Love is the Beams of Heaven, and his unhappy
Love Flames of Hell. When it does not let him sleep, it
is a Flame that sends up no Smoak; when it is opposed
by Counsel and Advice, it is a Fire that rages the more
by the Wind's blowing upon it, Upon the dying of a
Tree in which he had cut his Loves, he observes that his
written Flames had burnt up and withered the Tree,
When he resolves to give over his Passion, he tells us
that one burnt like him for ever dreads the Fire, His
Heart is an iEtna, that instead of Vulcan's Shop encloses
Cupid's Forge in it  His endeavouring to drown his
Love in Wine, is throwing Oil upon theFire, He would
insinuate to his Mistress, that the Fire of Love, like that
of the Sun (which produces so many living Creatures)
should not only warm but beget Love in another Place
cooks Pleasure at his Fire, Sometimes the Poet's Heart
is frozen in every Breast, and sometimes scorched in
every Eye, Sometimes he is drowned in Tears, and
burnt in Love, like a Ship set on Fire in the Middle of
the Sea.
The Reader may observe in every one of these Instances, that the Poet mixes the Qualities of Fire with
those of Love; and in the same Sentence speaking of it
both as a Passion, and as real Fire, surprizes the Reader
with those seeming Resemblances or Contradictions that
make up all the Wit in this kind of Writing. Mixt Wit
therefore is a Composition of Punn and true Wit, and is
more or less perfect as the Resemblance lies in the Ideas
or in the Words. Its Foundations are laid partly in
Falsehood and partly in Truth s Reason puts in her Claim
for one Half of it, and Extravagance for the other, The
only




THE SPECTATOR


235


only Province therefore for this kind of Wit, is Epigram, No, 62,
or those little occasional Poems that in their own Nature Friday
are nothing else but a Tissue of Epigrams. I cannot con. May 1
dlude this Head of mixt Wit, without owning that the
admirable Poet out of whom I have taken the Examples
of it, had as much true Wit as any Author that ever
writ; and indeed all other Talents of an extraordinary
Genius.
It may be expected, since I am upon this Subject, that
I should take Notice of Mr. Dryden's Definition of Wit,
which, with all the Deference that is due to the Judgment
of so great a Man, is not so properly a Definition of Wit,
as of good Writing in general, Wit, as he defines it, is
'a Propriety of Words and Thoughts adapted to the Subject' If this be a true Definition of Wit, I am apt to think
that Euclid was the greatest Wit that ever set Pen to
Papers It is certain that never was a greater Propriety
of Words and Thoughts adapted to the Subject, than what
that Author has made use of in his Elements. I shall
only appeal to my Reader, if this Definition agrees with
any Notion he has of Wit s If it be a true one, I am sure
Mr. Dryden was not only a better Poet, but a greater
Wit than Mr. Cowley; and Virgil a much more facetious
Man than either Ovid or Martial.
Buourous, whom I look upon to be the most penetrat,
ing of all the French Criticks, has taken Pains to shew,
That it is impossible for any Thought to be beautiful
which is not just, and has not its Foundation in the
Nature of Things  That the Basis of all Wit is Truth;
and that no Thought can be valuable, of which good
Sense is not the Ground-work. Boileau has endeavoured
to inculcate the same Notion in several Parts of his
Writings, both in Prose and Verse, This is that natural
Way of Writing, that beautiful Simplicity, which we so
much admire in the Compositions of the Ancients; and
which no Body deviates from, but those who want
Strength of Genius to make a Thought shine in its own
natural Beauties, Poets who want this Strength of Genius
to give that Majestick Simplicity to Nature, which we so
much admire in the Works of the Ancients, are forced
to hunt after foreign Ornaments, and not to let any
Piece




236


THE SPECTATOR


No, 62.  Piece of Wit of what Kind soever escape them, I look
Friday,  upon these Writers as Goths in Poetry, who, like those
Mayitf in Architecture, not being able to come up to the beautis
ful Simplicity of the old Greeks and Romans, have endeavoured to supply its Place with all the Extravagances
of an irregular Fancy, Mr, Dryden makes a very hands
som Observation on Ovid's Writing a Letter from Dido
to /Eneas, in the following Words: 'Ovid (says he,
speaking of Virgil's Fiction of Dido and /Eneas)
takes it up after him, even in the same Age, and makes
an Ancient Heroine of Virgil's newcreated Dido; dice
tates a Letter for her just before her' Death to the uns
rateful Fugitive; and, very unluckily for himself, is
for measuring a Sword with a Man so much superior in
Force to him, on the same Subject, I think I may be
Judge of this, because I have translated both, The famous
Author of the Art of Love has nothing of his own; he
borrows all from a greater Master in his own Profession,
and, which is worse, improves nothing which he finds:
Nature fails him, and being forced to his old Shift, he
has Recourse to Witticism, This passes indeed with his
soft Admirers, and gives him the Preference to Virgil in
their Esteem.'
Were not I supported by so great an Authority as that
of Mr. Dryden, I should not venture to observe, That the
Taste of most of our English Poets, as well as Readers,
is extremely Gothick, He quotes Monsieur Segrals for
a threefold Distinction of the Readers of Poetry: In the
first of which he comprehends the Rabble of Readers,
whom he does not treat as such with regard to their
Quality, but to their Numbers and the Coarseness of
their Taste,  His Words are as follows 'Segrais has
distinguished the Readers of Poetry, according to their
Capacity of judging, into three Classes, [He might have
said the same of Writers too, if he had pleased,] In the
lowest Form he places those whom he calls Les Petits
Esprits, such things as are our UpperGallery Audience
in a Playhouse; who like nothing but the Husk and
Rind of Wit, prefer a Quibble, a Conceit, an Epigram,
before solid Sense and elegant Expressions These are
MobReaders, If Virgil and Martial stood for Parliaments
Men




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237


Men, we know already who would carry it, But though No, 62,
they make the greatest Appearance in the Field, and cry Friday
the loudest, the best on't is they are but a sort of French May 1,
Huguenots, or Dutch Boors, brought over in Herds, but 711
not Naturalized; who have not Lands of two Pounds per
Annum in Parnassus, and therefore are not privileged
to Poll, Their Authors are of the same Level, fit to re,
present them on a Mountebank's Stage, or to be Masters
of the Ceremonies in a Beargarden  Yet these are they
who have the most Admirers, But it often happens, to
their Mortification, that as their Readers improve their
Stock of Sense (as they may by reading better Books, and
by Conversation with Men of Judgment) they soon for,
sake them,'
I must not dismiss this Subject without observing, that
as Mr, Lock in the Passage abovementioned has dis,
covered the most fruitful Source of Wit, so there is
another of a quite contrary Nature to it, which does
likewise branch it self out into several Kinds, For not
only the Resemblance, but the Opposition of Ideas does
very often produce Wit; as I could shew in several little
Points, Turns, and Antitheses, that I may possibly enlarge
upon in some future Speculation,                     C
No, 63,
[ADDISON,]                            Saturday, May 12,
Humano capiti cervicem pictor equinam
Jungere si velit, 6 varas inducere plumas
Undique collatis membris, ut turpiter atrum
Desinat in piscem mulier formosa superne t
Spectatum admissi risum teneatis, amicil
Credite, Pisones, isti tabulae fore i1brum
Persimilem, culus, velut aegri somnia, ranae
Fingentur species ---,-Hor,
T  s very hard for the Mind to disengage itself from
a Subect in which it has been long employed, The
Thoughts will be rising of themselves from time to time,
tho' we give them  no Encouragement as the Tossings
and Fluctuations of the Sea continue several Hours after
the Winds are laid,
It is to this that I impute my last Night's Dream or
Vision,




238


THE SPECTATOR


No. 63,  Vision, which formed into one continued Allegory the
Saturday, several Schemes of Wit, whether False, Mixed, or True,
SMay 12  that have been the Subject of my late Papers,
Methoughts I was transported into a Country that was
filled with Prodigies and Enchantments, governed by the
Goddess of FALSEHOOD, and entitled The Region of False
Wit, There was nothing in the Fields, the Woods, and
the Rivers, that appeared natural, Several of the Trees
blossomed in LeafGold, some of them produced Bone,
Lace, and some of them precious Stones, The Fountains
bubbled in an Opera Tune, and were filled with Stags,
WildBoars, and Mermaids, that lived among the Waters;
at the same time that Dolphins and several kinds of Fish
played upon the Banks, or took their Pastime in the
Meadows, The Birds had many of them golden Beaks,
and human Voices, The Flowers perfumed the Air with
Smells of Incense, Ambergreese, and Pulvillios; and
were so interwoven with one another, that they grew
up in Pieces of Embroidery,   The Winds were filled
with Sighs and Messages of distant Lovers, As I was
walking to and fro in this enchanted Wilderness, I could
not forbear breaking out into Soliloquies upon the several
Wonders which lay before me, when to my great Surw
prise, I found there were artificial Ecchoes in every Walk,
that by Repetitions of certain Words which I spoke, agreed
with me, or contradicted me, in every thing I said  In
the midst of my Conversation with these invisible Cony
panions, I discovered in the Center of a very dark Grove
a monstrous Fabrick built after the Gothick manner, and
covered with innumerable Devices in that barbarous kind
of Sculpture, I immediately went up to it, and found it
to be a kind of Heathen Temple consecrated to the God
of Dullness, Upon my Entrance I saw the Deity of the
Place dressed i  the Habit of a Monk, with a Book in
one Hand and a Rattle in the other,   Upon his right
Hand was Industry, with a Lamp burning before heri
and on his left Caprice, with a Monky sitting on her
Shoulder. Before his Feet there stood an Altar of a very
odd Make, which, as I afterwards found, was shaped in
that manner, to comply with the Inscription that sure
rounded it Upon the Altar there lay several OfferingS
of




THE SPECTATOR


239


of Axes, Wins, and Eggs, cut in Paper, and inscribed No. 63.
with Verses, The Temple was filled with Votaries, who Saturay,
applied themselves to different Diversions, as their Fancies My 12u
directed them, In one Part of it I saw a Regiment of
Anagrams, who were continually in motion, turning to
the Right or to the Left, facing about, doubling their
Ranks, shifting their Stations, and throwing themselves
into all the Figures, and Counter-marches of the most
changeable and perplexed Exercise,
Not far from these was a Body of Acrosticks, made up
of very disproportioned Persons,  It was disposed into
three Columns, the Officers planting themselves in a Line
on the left Hand of each Column, The Officers were all
of them at least Six Foot high, and made three Rows of
very proper Men; but the Common Soldiers, who filled
up the Spaces between the Officers were such Dwarfs,
Cripples, and Scarecrows, that one could hardly look upon
them without laughing. There were behind the Acros,
ticks two or three Files of Chronograms, which differed
only from the former, as their Officers were equipped
(like the Figure of Time) with an Hour-glass in one Hand,
and a Scythe in the other, and took their Posts promisc
ously among the private Men whom they commanded
In the Body of the Temple, and before the very Face of
the Deity, methought I saw the Phantom of Tryphiodorus
the Lipogrammatist, engaged in a Ball with four and
twenty Persons, who pursued him by turns thro' all the
Intricacies and Labyrinths of a Country Dance, without
being able to overtake him.
Observing several to be very busie at the Western End
of the Temple, I enquired into what they were doing, and
found there was in that Quarter the great Magazine of
Rebus's. These were several things of the most different
Natures tied up in Bundles, and thrown upon one another
in heaps like Faggots. You might behold an Anchor, a
Night.rsil, and an Hobby-horse bound up together. One
of the Workmen seeing me very much surprised, told me,
there was an infinite deal of Wit in several of those
Bundles, and that he would explain them to me if -I
pleased  I thanked him for his Civility, but told him I
was in very great haste at that time. As I was going out
of




240            THE SPECTATOR
No. 63.  of the Temple, I observed in one Corner of it a Cluster of
Saturday, Men and Women laughing very heartily, and diverting
May 121  themselves at a Game of Crambo, I heard several Double
Rhymes as I passed by them, which raised a great deal of
Mirth,
Not far from these was another Set of merry People
engaged at a Diversion, in which the whole Jest was to
mistake one Person for another. To give Occasion for
these ludicrous Mistakes, they were divided into Pairs,
every Pair being covered from Head to Foot with the
same kind of Dress, though perhaps there was not the
least Resemblance in their Faces. By this means an old
Man was sometimes mistaken for a Boy, a Woman for a
Man, and a Blacklamoor for an European, which very
often produced great Peals of Laughter, These I guessed
to be a Party of Punns, But being very desirous to get
out of this World of Magick, which had almost turned my
Brain, I left the Temple, and crossed over the Fields that
lay about it with all the Speed I could make. I was not
gone far before I heard the Sound of Trumpets and
Alarms, which seemed to proclaim the March of an
Enemy; and, as I afterwards found, was in reality what
I apprehended it, There appeared at a great Distance a
very shining Light, and in the midst of it a Person of
a most beautiful Aspect; her Name was TRUTIH      On
her Right Hand there marched a Male Deity, who bore
several Quivers on his Shoulders, and grasped several
Arrows in his Hand, His Name was Wit        The Approach of these two Enemies filled all the Territories of
False Wit with an unspeakable Consternation, insomuch
that the Goddess of those Regions appeared in Person upon
her Frontiers, with the several inferior Deities, and the
different Bodies of Forces which I had before seen in the
Temple, who were now drawn up in Array, and prepared
to give their Foes a warm Reception, As the March of
the Enemy was very slow, it gave time to the several
Inhabitants who bordered upon the Regions of FALSEHOOD
to draw their Forces into a Body, with a Design to stand
upon their Guard as Neuters, and attend the issue of the
Combat,
I must here inform my Reader, that the Frontiers of the
Enchanted




THE SPECTATOR


241


i


Enchanted Region, which I have before described, were No, 63,
inhabited by the Species of MIxED Wrr, who made Saturday,
a very odd Appearance when they were musteredMaly 12
together in an Army, There were Men whose Bodies 1
were stuck full of Darts, and Women whose Eyes were
Burning - glasses, Men that had Hearts of Fire, and
Women that had Breasts of Snow, It. would be endless
to describe several Monsters of the like Nature, that comr
posed this great Army; which immediately fell asunder,
and divided itself into two Parts; the one half throwing
themselves behind   the  Banners of TRUTh, and the
others behind those of FALSEHOOD,
The   Goddess of   FALSEHOOD was of a     Gigantick
Stature, and advanced some Paces before the Front of
her Army; but as the dazling Light, which flowed from
TRUTH, began to shine upon her, she faded insensibly;
insomuch that in a little Space she looked rather like an
huge Phantom, than a real Substance, At length, as the
Goddess of TRUTH approached still nearer to her, she
fell away entirely, and vanished amidst the Brightness
of her Presence; so that there did not remain the least
Trace or Impression of her Figure in the Place where
she had been seen,
As at the rising of the Sun the Constellations grow
thin, and the Stars go out one after another, till the whole
Hemisphere is extinguished; such was the vanishing
of the Goddess? and not only of the Goddess herself
but of the whole Army that attended her, which sym
pathized with their Leader, and shrunk into Nothing, in
proportion as the Goddess disappeared, At the same
time the whole Temple sunk, the Fish betook them,
selves to the Streams, and the wild Beasts to the Woods;
the Fountains recovered their Murmurs, the Birds their
Voices, the Trees their Leaves, the Flowers their Scents,
and the whole Face of Nature its true and genuine Ape
pearance, Tho' I still continued asleep, I fancied my
self as it were awakened out of a Dream, when I saw
this Region of Prodigies restored to Woods and Rivers,
Fields and Meadows,
Upon the Removal of that wild Scene of Wonders,
which had very much disturbed my Imagination, I took
Q                         a




242


THE SPECTATOR


No, 63, a full Survey of the Persons of Wrr and TRUTH; for
Saturday, indeed it was impossible to look upon the first, without
Mlay 12,  seeing the other at the same time, There was behind
them  a strong and compact Body of Figures,     The
Genius of Heroic Poetry appeared with a Sword in her
Hand, and a Lawrel on her Head,        Tragedy was
crowned with a Cypress, and covered with Robes dipped
in Blood, Satyr had Smiles in her Look, and a Dagger
under her Garment,    Rhetorick was known by her
Thunderbolt and Comedy by her Mask, After several
other Figures, Epigram marched up in the Rear, who
had been posted there at the Beginning of the Expedil
tion, that he might not revolt to the Enemy, whom he
was suspected to favour in his Heart, I was very much
awed and delighted with the Appearance of the God of
Wit; there was something so amiable and yet so
piercing in his Looks, as inspired me at once with Love
and Terror, As I was gazing on him to my unspeakable Joy, he took a Quiver of Arrows from his Shoulder,
in order to make me a Present of it; but as I was
reaching out my Hand to receive it of him, I knocked
it against a Chair, and by that means awaked,     C
No, 64,
[STEELE,]                           Monday, May 14,
-— Hic vivimus ambitiosa
Paupertate omnes ---,-Juv,
THE      most improper things we commit in the
Conduct of our Lives, we are led into by the
Force of Fashion, Instances might be given, in which
a prevailing Custom makes us act against the Rules of
Nature, Law, and common Senses But at present I shall
confine my Consideration of the Effect it has upon Men's
Minds, by looking into our Behaviour when it is the
Fashion to go into Mourning, The Custom of repre~
senting the Grief we have for the Loss of the Dead by
our Habits, certainly had its Rise from the real Sorrow
of such as were too much distressed to take the proper
Care they ought of their Dress, By Degrees it pre,
vailed, that such as had this inward Oppression upon
their




THE SPECTATOR


243


their Minds, made an Apology for not joining with the No. 64,
rest of the World in their ordinary Diversions, by a Monday
Dress suited to their Condition, This therefore was at My 14f
first assumed by such only as were under real Distress,
to whom it was a Relief that they had nothing about
them so light and gay as to be irksome to the Gloom
and Melancholy of their inward Reflections, or that might
misrepresent them to others, In Process of Time this
laudable Distinction of the Sorrowful was lost, and
Mourning is now worn by Heirs and Widows,       You
see nothing but Magnificence and Solemnity in the
Equipage of the Relict, and an Air of Release from
Servitude in the Pomp of a Son who has lost a wealthy
Father,  This Fashion of Sorrow is now become a
generous Part of the Ceremonial between Princes and
Sovereigns, who in the Language of all Nations are
stiled Brothers to each other, and put on the Purple
upon the Death of any Potentate with whom they live
in Amity, Courtiers, and all who wish themselves such,
are immediately seized with Grief from Head to Foot
upon this Disaster to their Prince; so that one may
know by the very Buckles of a GentlemanwUsher, what
Degree of Friendship any deceased Monarch maintained
with the Court to which he belongs, A good Courtier's
Habit and Behaviour is hieroglyphical on these Occa,
sionsi He deals much in Whispers, and you may see
he dresses according to the best Intelligence,
The general Affectation among Men, of appearing
greater than they are, makes the whole World run into
the Habit of the Court,  You see the Lady, who the
Day before was as various as a Rainbow, upon the
Time appointed for beginning to mourn, as dark as a
Cloud,  This Humour does not prevail only on those
whose Fortunes can   support any Change in their
Equipage, not on those only whose Incomes demand
the Wantonness of new Appearances; but on such
also who have just enough to cloath them,   An old
Acquaintance of mine, of Ninety Pounds a Year, who
has naturally the Vanity of being a Man of Fashion
deep at his Heart, is very much put to it to bear the
Mortality of Princes, He made a new black Suit upon
the




244


THE SPECTATOR


40o, 64, the Death of the King of Spain, he turned it for the
Aonday, King of Portugal, and he now    keeps his Chamber
7yH14, while it is scowring for the Emperor,   He is a good
Oeconomist in his Extravagance, and makes only a
fresh black Button upon his irongrey Suit for any
Potentate of small Territories; he indeed adds his Crape
Hatband for a Prince whose Exploits he has admired
in the Gazette, But whatever Compliments may be
made on these Occasions, the true Mourners are the
Mercers, Silkmen, Lacemen and Milliners, A Prince
of a merciful and royal Disposition would reflect with
great Anxiety upon the Prospect of his Death, if he
considered what Numbers would be reduced to Misery
by that Accident only: He would think it of Moment
enough to direct, that in the Notification of his De,
parture, the Honour done to him might be restrained
to those of the Houshold of the Prince to whom it
should be signified, He would think a general Mourn,
ing to be in a less Degree the same Ceremony which
is practised in barbarous Nations, of killing their Slaves
to attend the Obsequies of their Kings,
I had been wonderfully at a Loss for many Months
together, to guess at the Character of a Man who came
now and then to our Coffee-house: He ever ended a
Newspaper with this Reflexion, Well, I see all the
Foreign Princes are in good Health, If you asked,
Pray, Sir, What says the Postman from   Vienna   he
answered, Make us thankful, the German Princes are
all well  What does he say from    Barcelona    He
does not speak but that the Country agrees very well
with the new   Queen,    After very much Enquiry,
I found this Man of universal Loyalty was a whole,
sale Dealer in Silks and Ribbons: His Way is, it seems,
if he hires a Weaver or Workman, to have it inserted
in his Articles, 'That all this shall be well and truly
performed, provided no foreign Potentate shall depart
this Life within the Time abovementioned,' It happens
in all publick Mournings, that the many Trades which
depend upon our Habits, are during that Folly either
pinched with present Want, or terrified with the
apparent Approach of it,  All the Atonement which
Men




THE SPECTATOR


245


Men can make for wanton Expences (which is a Sort No, 64,
of insulting the Scarcity under which others labour) Monday,
is, that the Superfluities of the Wealthy give Supplies May 14,
to the Necessities of the Poor; but instead of any other
Good arising from the Affectation of being in courtly
Habits of Mourning, all Order seems to be destroyed
by it; and the true Honour, which one Court does to
another on that Occasion, loses its Force and Efficacy,
When a foreign Minister beholds the Court of a Nation
(which flourishes in Riches and Plenty) lay aside, upon
the Loss of his Master, all Marks of Splendor, and
Magnificence, though the head of such a joyful People,
he will conceive a greater Idea of the Honour done
his Master, than when he sees the Generality of the
People in the same Habit, When one is afraid to ask
the Wife of a Tradesman whom     she has lost of her
Family; and after some Preparation endeavours to know
whom   she mourns for; how ridiculous is it to hear
her explain her self, That we have lost one of the
House of Austria?    Princes are elevated so highly
above the rest of Mankind, that it is a presumptuous
Distinction to take a Part in Honours done to their
Memories, except we have authority for it, by being
related in a particular Manner to the Court which pays
that Veneration to their Friendship; and seems to
express on such an Occasion the Sense of the Uncertainty of human Life in general, by assuming the
Habit of Sorrow   though  in the full Possession  of
Triumph and Royalty,                              R
No, 65,
[STEELE,]                           Tuesday, May 15.
--   Demetri, teque, Tigelli,
Discipularum inter jubeo plorare cathedras.-Hor,
A   FT ER having at large explained what Wit is, and
described the false Appearances of it, all that Labour
seems but an useless Enquiry, without some Time be
spent in considering the Application of it, The Seat of
Wit, when one speaks as a Man of the Town and the
World, is the Playehouse; I shall therefore fill this Paper
with




246


THE SPECTATOR


tNo, 65,  with Reflections upon the Use of it in that Place, The
_Tuesday, Application of Wit in the Theatre has as strong an Effect
May 15, upon the Manners of our Gentlemen, as the Taste of it
has upon the Writings of our Authors, It may, perhaps,
look like a very presumptuous Work, though not Foreign
from the Duty of a SPECTATOR, to tax the Writings of such
as have long had the general Applause of a Nation  But
I shall always make Reason, Truth, and Nature the
Measures of Praise and Dispraise; if those are for me,
the Generality of Opinion is of no Consequence against
me; if they are against me, the general Opinion cannot
long support me,
Without further Preface, I am going to look into some
of our most applauded Plays, and see whether they de,
serve the Figure they at present bear in the Imaginations
of Men, or not,
In reflecting upon these Works, I shall chiefly dwell
upon that for which each respective Play is most celebrated, The present Paper shall be employed upon Sir
Foplin Flutter, The received Character of this Play is,
That it is the Pattern of Gentile Comedy, Dorimant and
Harriot are the Characters of greatest Consequence, and
if these are Low and Mean, the Reputation of the Play is
very Unjust,
I will take for granted, that a fine Gentleman should
be honest in his Actions, and refined in his Language,
Instead of this, our Hero, in this Piece, is a direct
Knave in his Designs, and a Clown in his Language,
Bellair is his Admirer and Friend; in return for which,
because he is forsooth a greater Wit than his said Friend,
he thinks it reasonable to perswade him to Marry a young
Lady, whose Virtue, he thinks, will last no longer than
till she is a Wife, and then she cannot but fall to his
Share, as he is an irresistible fine Gentleman,  The
Falshood to Mrs, Loveit, and the Barbarity of Triumphing
over her Anguish for losing him, is another Instance of
his Honesty, as well as his good Nature, As to his fine
Language; he calls the Orange Woman, who, it seems,
is inclined to grow Fat, An Overgrown Jade, with a
Flasket of Guts before her; and salutes her with a
pretty Phrase of, How now, Double Tripe I Upon the
Mention




THE SPECTATOR


247


Mention of a Country Gentlewoman, whom he knows No. 65,
nothing of, (no one can imagine why) he will lay his Tuesday,
Life she is some awkward, ill fashioned Country Toad, May 15
who not having above four dozen of Hairs on her
Head, has adorned her baldness with a large white
Fruz, that she may look Sparkishly in the Forefront
of the King's Box at an old Play, Unnatural Mixture
of senseless Common Place!
As to the Generosity of his Temper, he tells his poor
Footman, If he did not wait better —he would turn
him away, in the insolent Phrase of, I 11 Uncase you,
Now for Mrs. Harriot She laughs at Obedience to an
absent Mother, whose Tenderness Busie describes to be
very exquisite, for that she is so pleased with finding
Harriot again, that she cannot chide her for being out of
the Way, This Witty Daughter, and Fine Lady, has so
little Respect for this good Woman, that she Ridicules her
Air in taking Leave, and cries, In what Struggle is my
poor Mother yonder? See, see, her Head tottering,
her Eyes staring, and her under Lip trembling, But
all this is atoned for, because she has more Wit than is
usual in her Sex, and as much Malice, though she is as
wild as you would wish her, and has a Demureness
in her Looks that makes it so surprising  Then to
recommend her as a fit Spouse for his Hero, the Poet
makes her speak her Sense of Marriage very ingeniously I
I think, says she, I might be brought to endure him,
and that is all a reasonable Woman should expect in
an Husband, It is, methinks, unnatural that we are not
made to understand how she that was bred under a silly
pious old Mother, that would never trust her out of her
sight, came to be so Polite,
It cannot be denied, but that the Negligence of every
thing, which engages the Attention of the sober and
valuable Part of Mankind, appears very well drawn in this
Piece s But it is denied, that it is necessary to the Character of a Fine Gentleman, that he should in that manner
Trample upon all Order and Decency, As for the Char,
acter of Dorimant, it is more of a Coxcomb than that of
Foplin, He says of one of his Companions, that a good
Correspondence between them is their mutual Interest
Speaking




248


THE SPECTATOR.o, 65,  Speaking of that Friend, he declares, their being much
ruesday, together makes the Women think the better of his
iay 15,  Understanding, and judge more favourably of my
Reputation, It makes him pass upon some for a Man
of very good 'Sense, and me upon others for a very
civil Person,
This whole celebrated Piece is a perfect Contradiction to
good Manners, good Sense, and common Honesty; and as
there is nothing in it but what is built upon the Ruin of
Virtue and Innocence, according to the Notion of Merit in
this Comedy, I take the Shooemaker to be, in reality, the
Fine Gentleman of the Play: For it seems he is an
Atheist, if we may depend upon his Character as given
by the OrangesWoman, who is her self far from being
the lowest in the Play, She says of a Fine Man who
is Dorimants Companion, There is not such another
Heathen in the Town, except the Shooedmaker, His
Pretention to be the Hero of the Drama appears still
more in his own Description of his way of Living with
his Lady, There is, says he, never a Man in Town
lives more like a Gentleman with his Wife than I do I
I never mind her Motions    she never enquires into
mine, We speak to one another civilly, hate one another
heartilyf and because it is Vulgar to Lye and Soak
together we have each of us our several SettleBed,
That of Soaking together is as good as if Dorimant had
spoken it himself and, I think, since he puts human Nature
in as ugly a Form as the Circumstance will bear, and is a
stanch Unbeliever, he is very much Wronged in having
no part of the good Fortune bestowed in the last Act,
To speak plainly of this whole Work, I think nothing
but being lost to a Sense of Innocence and Virtue can
make any one see this Comedy, without observing more
frequent Occasion to move Sorrow and Indignation, than
Mirth and Laughter, At the same time I allow it to be
Nature, but it is Nature in its utmost Corruption and
Degeneracy,                                      R


Wednesday




THE SPECTATOR                     249
No, 66,                                              No.66,
Wednes,,
[STEELE,]                         Wednesday, May 16, day,
Motus doceri gaudet Ionicos              May 16,
Matura virgo, & fingitur artibus
Jam nunc & incestos amores
De tenero meditatur ungui,-Hor.
HE two following Letters are upon a Subject of very
great Importance, tho' expressed without any Air
of Gravity,
'To the SPECTATOR,
Sir,
I take the Freedom of asking your Advice in Behalf
of a young Country Kinswoman of mine who is
lately come to Town, and under my Care for her
Education,  She is very pretty, but you can't imagine
how unformed a Creature it is, She comes to my
Hands just as Nature left her, half finished, and with,
out any acquired Improvements,   When I look on her
I often think of the Belle Sauvage mentioned in one
of your Papers, Dear Mr, SPECTATOR, help me to make
her comprehend the visible Graces of Speech, and the
dumb Eloquence of Motion; for she is at present a
perfect Stranger to both, She knows no Way to express
her self but by her Tongue, and that always to signifie
her Meaning,   Her Eyes serve her yet only to see
with, and she is utterly a Foreigner to the Language
of Looks and Glances, In this I fancy you could
help her better than any Body, I have bestowed two
Months in teaching her to Sigh when she is not concerned, and to Smile when she is not pleased; and am
ashamed to own she makes little or no Improvement
Then she is no more able now to walk, than she was
to go at a Year old, By Walking you will easily know
I mean that regular but easie Motion, which gives our
Persons so irresistible a Grace as if we moved to
Musick, and is a kind of disengaged Figure, or, if I
may so speak, recitative Dancing,   But the want of
this I cannot blame in her, for Ifind she has no Ear,
and means nothing by Walking but to change her
Place, I could pardon too her Blushing, if she knew
how




250


THE SPECTATOR


No, 66,  how to carry her self in it, and if it did not manifestly
Wednes, injure her Complexion,
day,      They tell me you are a Person who have seen the
1711,   World, and are a Judge of fine Breeding; which makes
me ambitious of some Instructions from  you for her
Improvement i Which when you have favoured me
with, I shall further advise with you about the Disposal
of this fair Forrester in Marriage; for I will make it
no Secret to you, that her Person and Education are
to be her Fortune,
I am, Sir,
Your very Humble Servant,
CELIMENE,'
'Sir,
Being employed by Celimene to make up and send
to you her Letter, I make bold to recommend the Case
therein mentioned to your Consideration, because she
and I happen to differ a little in our Notions, I, who
am a rough Man, am afraid the young Girl is in a
fair Way to be spoiled  Therefore pray, Mr, SPECTATOR,
let us have your Opinion of this fine thing called Fine
Breeding; for I am afraid it differs too much from that
plain thing called Good Breeding,
Your most humble Servant,'
The general Mistake among us in the Educating our
Children, is, That in our Daughters we take Care of
their Persons and neglect their Minds; in our Sons,
we are so intent upon adorning their Minds, that we
wholly neglect their Bodies, It is from this that you
shall see a young Lady celebrated and admired in all
the Assemblies about Town; when her elder Brother
is afraid to come into a Room, From this ill Management it arises, That we frequently observe a Man's
Life is half spent before he is taken Notice of; and a
Woman in the Prime of her Years is out of Fashion
and neglected, The Boy I shall consider upon some
other Occasion, and at present stick to the Girls And
I am the more inclined to this, because I have several
Letters which complain to me that my Female Readers
have not understood me for some Days last past, and
take




THE SPECTATOR


251


take themselves to be unconcerned in the present Turn No, 66,
of my Writings, When a Girl is safely brought from Wednes,
her Nurse, before she is capable of forming one simple day,
Notion of any thing in Life, she is delivered to the 1711,
Hands of her DancingMaster; and with a Collar round
her Neck, the pretty wild Thing is taught a fantastical
Gravity of Behaviour, and forced to a particular Way
of holding her Head, heaving her Breast, and moving
with her whole Body; and all this under Pain of never
having an Husband, if she steps, looks or moves awry,
This gives the young Lady wonderful Workings of
Imagination, what is to pass between her and this
Husband, that she is every Moment told of, -and for
whom she seems to be educated, Thus her Fancy
is engaged to turn all her Endeavours to the Ornament
of her Person, as what must determine her Good and
ll in this Life; and she naturally thinks, if she is tall
enough, she is wise enough for any thing for which
her Education makes her think she is designed,  To
make her an agreeable Person is the main Purpose of
her Parents; to that is all their Cost, to that all their
Care directed; and from this general Folly of Parents
we owe    our present numerous Race of Coquets,
These Reflections puzzle me, when I think of giving
my Advice on the Subject of managing the wild Thing
mentioned in the Letter of my Correspondent, But
sure there is a middle Way to be followed; the Manages
ment of a young Lady's Person is not to be overlooked,
but the Erudition of her Mind is much more to be
regarded, According as this is managed, you will see
the Mind follow the Appetites of the Body, or the Body
express the Virtues of the Mind,
Cleomira dances with all the Elegance of Motion
imaginable; but her Eyes are so chastised with the Sim,
plicity 4nd Innocence of her Thoughts, that she raises
in her Beholders Admiration and good Will, but no loose
Hope or wild Imagination, The true Art in this Case
is, To make the Mind and Body improve together; and
if possible, to make Gesture follow Thought, and not let
Thought be employed upon Gesture,                 R
Thursday




252


THE SPECTATOR


No, 67,  No, 67,
Thur;7ay, [BUDGELL]                          Thursday, May 17,
1711,          Saltare elegantius quam necesse est probae,-Sal,
UCIAN, in one of his Dialogues, introduces a PhilU
osopher chiding his Friend for his being a Lover
of Dancing, and a Frequenter of Balls, The other under,
takes the Defence of his Favourite Diversion, which, he
says, was at first invented by the Goddess Rhea, and pre,
served the Life of Jupiter himself, from the Cruelty of
his Father Saturn, He proceeds to shew, that it had
been approved by the greatest Men in all Ages; that
Homer calls Merion a Fine Dancer; and says, That the
graceful Mein and great Agility which he had acquired
by that Exercise, distinguished him above the rest in the
Armies, both of Greeks and Trojans,
He adds, that Pyrrhus gained more Reputation by
Inventing the Dance which is called after his Name, than
by all his other Actions: That the Lacedemonians, who
were the bravest People in Greece, gave great Encouragement to this Diversion, and made their Hormus (a
Dance much resembling the French Brawl) famous over
all Asia i That there were still extant some Thessalfan
Statues erected to the Honour of their best Dancers: And
that he wondred how his Brother Philosopher could
declare himself against the Opinions of those two Persons, whom he professed so much to Admire, Homer and
Hesiod; the latter of which compares Valour and Dancing together; and says, That the Gods have bestowed
Fortitude on some Men, and on others a Disposition
for Dancing,
Lastly, He puts him in mind that Socrates (who, in
the Judgment of Apollo, was the Wisest of Men) was not
only a professed Admirer of this Exercise in others, but
learned it himself when he was an old Man,
The Morose Philosopher is so much affected by these,
and some other Authorities, that he becomes a Convert
to his Friend, and desires he would take him with him
when he went to his next Ball,
I love to shelter my self under the Examples of great
Men; and, I think, I have sufficiently shewed that it is
not




THE SPECTATOR


253


not below the Dignity of these my Speculations, to take No, 67,
Notice of the following Letter, which, I suppose, is sent Thursday,
me by some substantial Tradesman about Change,     May 17,
'Sir,
I am a Man in Years, and by an honest Industry in
the World have acquired enough to give my Children a
liberal Education, though I was an utter Stranger to it
my self, My eldest Daughter, a Girl of Sixteen, has for
some time been under the Tuition of Monsieur Rigadoon,
a Dancing-Master in the City; and I was prevailed upon
by her and her Mother to go last Night to one of his
Balls, I must own to you, Sir, that having never been at
any such Place before, I was very much pleased and sure
prized with that part of his Entertainment which he called
French Dancing, There were several young Men and
Women, whose Limbs seemed to have no other Motion,
but purely what the Musick gave them, After this Part
was over, they began a Diversion which they call Country
Dancing, and wherein there were also some things not
'disagreeable, and divers Emblematical Figures, Composed,
as I guess, by Wise Men, for the Instruction of Youth,
Among the rest I observed one, which, I think, they
call Hunt the Squirrel, in which while the Woman
flies the Man pursues her, but as soon as she turns, he
runs away, and she is obliged to follow,
The Moral of this Dance does, I think, very aptly
recommend Modesty and Discretion to the Female Sex,
But as the best Institutions are liable to Corruptions,
so, Sir, I must acquaint you, that very great Abuses
are crept into this Entertainment  I was amazed to
see my Girl handed by, and handing young Fellows with
so much Familiarity; and I could not have thought it
had been in the Child, They very often made use of
a most impudent and lascivious Step called Setting,
which I know not how to describe to you, but by telling
you that it is the very reverse of Back to Back, At
last an impudent young Dog bid the Fidlers play a Dance
called Mol, Pately, and after having made two or three
Capers, ran to his Partner, locked his Arms in hers, and
whisked her round cleverly above Ground in such
manner




254           THE SPECTATOR
No, 67,  manner, that I, who sate upon one of the lowest Benches,
Thursday, saw further above her Shooe than I can think fit to
1Ma 17,  acquaint you with,  I could no longer endure these
Enormities, wherefore just as my Girl was going to
be made a Whirligig, I ran in, seized on the Child, and
carried her home,
Sir, I am not yet old enough to be a Fool, I suppose
this Diversion might be at first invented to keep up a
good Understanding between young Men and Women,
and so far I am not against it; but I shall never allow
of these things, I know not what you will say to this
Case at present, but am sure that had you been with
me you would have seen matter of great Speculation,
I am
Yours, &c'
I must confess I am afraid that my Correspondent
had too much Reason to be a little out of Humour at
the Treatment of his Daughter, but I conclude that he
would have been much more so, had he seen one of
those kissing Dances in which WILL HONEYCOMB assures
me they are obliged to dwell almost a Minute on the
Fair One's Lips, or they will be too quick for the Musick,
and dance quite out of Time,
I am  not able however to give my final Sentence
against this Diversion  and am of Mr, Cowley's Opinion,
that so much of Dancing, at least, as belongs to the
Behaviour and an handsome Carriage of the Body, is
extreamly useful, if not absolutely necessary,
-We generally form such Ideas of People at first Sight,
as we are hardly ever perswaded to lay aside afterwards
For this Reason, a Man would wish to have nothing
disagreeable or uncomely in his Approaches, and to be
able to enter a Room with a good Grace,
I might add, that a moderate Knowledge in the little
Rules of Goodbreeding gives a Man some Assurance,
and makes him   easy in all Companies, For Want of
this, I have seen a Professor of a Liberal Science at a
Loss to salute a Lady; and a most excellent Mathematician
not able to determine whether he should stand or sit
while my Lord drank to him,
It




THE SPECTATOR


255


It is the proper Business of a Dancing Master to No. 67,
regulate these Matters; tho' I take it to be a just Observa, Thursday,
tlon, that unless you add something of your own to 17117,
what these fine Gentlemen teach you, and which they
are wholly ignorant of themselves, you will much sooner
get the Character of an Affected Fop, than of a Well-bred
Man,
As for Country Dancing, it must indeed be confessed,
that the great Familiarities between the two Sexes on
this Occasion may sometimes produce very dangerous
Consequences; and I have often thought that few Ladies'
Hearts are so obdurate as not to be melted by the Charms
of Musick, the Force of Motion, and an handsome young
Fellow who is continually playing before their Eyes, and
convincing them that he has the perfect Use of all his
Limbs,
But as this kind of Dance is the particular Invention
of our own Country, and as every one is more or less
a Proficient in it, I would not Discountenance it; but
rather suppose it may be practised innocently by others,
as well as my self, who am often Partner to my Landlady's
Eldest Daughter,
POSTSCRIPT.
Having heard a good Character of the Collection of
Pictures which is to be exposed to Sale on Friday next;
and concluding, from the following Letter, that the Person
who Collected them is a Man of no unelegant Taste, I will
be so much his Friend as to Publish it, provided the
Reader will only look upon it as filling up the Place of an
Advertisement
'From the Three Chairs in the Piazza CoventGarden,
Sir,                             May 16, 1711,
As you are a SPECTATOR, I think we, who make it our
Business to exhibit any thing to publick View, ought to
apply our selves to you for your Approbation, I have
travelled Europe to furnish out a Show for you, and
have brought with me what has been admired in
every Country thro' which I passed, You have declared
in many Papers, that your greatest Delights are those of
the




256


THE SPECTATOR


No. 67,  the Eye, which I do not doubt but I shall gratifie with as
Thursday, Beautiful Objects as yours ever beheld, If Castles, Forests,
My 17,   Ruins, Fine Women, and Graceful Men, can please you, I
dare promise you much Satisfaction, if you will appear at
my Auction on Friday next, A Sight is, I suppose,
as grateful to a SPECTATOR, as a Treat to another Person,
and therefore I hope you will pardon this Invitation
from,
Sir,
Your most Obedient
Humble Servant,
J, GRAHAM,'
No, 68,
[ADDISON,]                            Friday, May 18,
Nos duo turba sumus —,-Ovid,
ONE would think that the larger the Company is
in which we are engaged, the greater Variety of
Thoughts and Subjects would be started in Discourse; but
instead of this, we find that Conversation is never so much
streightned and confined as in numerous Assemblies,
When a Multitude meet together upon any Subject of
Discourse, their Debates are taken up chiefly with Forms
and general Positions; nay, if we come into a more
contracted Assembly of Men and Women, the Talk
generally runs upon the Weather, Fashions, News, and
the like publick Topicks, In Proportion, as Conversation
gets into Clubs and Knots of Friends, it descends into
Particulars, and grows more free and communicatives
But the most open, instructive, and unreserved Discourse,
is that which passes between two Persons who are
familiar and intimate Friends, On these Occasions, a
Man gives a Loose to every Passion and every Thought
that is uppermost, discovers his most retired Opinions of
Persons and Things, tries the Beauty and Strength of his
Sentiments, and exposes his whole Soul to the Examination
of his Friend,
Tully was the first who observed, that Friendship
improves Happiness and abates Misery, by the doubling of
our Joy and dividing of our Grief; a Thought in which
he hath been followed by all the Essayers upon Friend
ship, that have written since his Time, Sir Francis Bacon
has




THE SPECTATOR


257


has finely described other Advantages, or, as he calls No. 68,
them, Fruits of Friendship; and indeed there is no Sub- Friday,
ject of Morality which has been better handled and more M~ 18
exhausted than this,  Among the several fine things
which have been spoken of it, I shall beg Leave to quote
some out of a very ancient Author, whose Book would be
regarded by our Modern Wits as one of the most shining
Tracts of Morality that is extant, if it appeared under the
Name of a Confucius, or of any celebrated Grecian Phil,
osophers I mean the little Apocryphal Treatise entitled,
The Wisdom of the Son of Sirach, How finely has he
described the Art of making Friends, by an obliging and
affable Behaviour? And laid down that Precept which
a late excellent Author has delivered as his own, 'That
we should have many Well-wishers, but few Friends,'
Sweet Language will multiply Friends; and a fair-speaking Tongue will encrease kind Greetings, Be in Peace
with many, nevertheless have but one Counsellor of a
thousand,  With what Prudence does he caution us in
the Choice of our Friends? And with what Strokes of
Nature (I could almost say of Humour) has he described
the Behaviour of a treacherous and self-interested Friend
If thou would'st get a Friend, prove him first, and
be not hasty to credit him: For some Man is a Friend
for his own Occasion, and will not abide in the Day of
thy Trouble, And there is a Friend who being turned
to Enmity and Strife will discover thy reproach,
Again, Some Friend is a Companion at the Table,
and will not continue in the Day of thy Affliction
But in thy Prosperity he will be as thy self, and
will be bold over thy Servants, If thou be brought
low he will be against thee, and hide himself from
thy Face, What can be more strong and pointed than
the following Verse?  Separate thy self from  thine
Enemies, and take heed of thy Friends, In the next
Words he particularizes one              of those Fits of Friend,
ship which is described at length by the two famous
Authors abovevmentioned, and falls into a general
Elogium  of Friendship, which is very just as well as
very sublime, A faithful Friend is a strong Defence/
he that hath found such an one, hath found a
R                 Treasure






258


THE SPECTATOR


No> 68r  Treasure, Nothing doth countervail a faithful Friend,
Friday,  and his Excellency is unvaluable, A faithful Friend
711 8    is the Medicine of Life I and they that fear the Lord
shall find him, Whoso feareth the Lord shall direct
his Friendship  aright f  for as he is, so shall his
Neighbour (that is his Friend) be also,  I do not remember to have met with any Saying that has pleased
me more than that of a Friend's being the Medicine
of Life, to express the Efficacy of Friendship in heal
ing the Pains and Anguish which naturally cleave to
our Existence in this World; and am wonderfully pleased
with the Turn in the last Sentence, That a virtuous
Man shall as a Blessing meet with a Friend who is as
virtuous as himself, There is another Saying in the
same Author, which would have been very much
admired in an Heathen Writer; Forsake not an old
Friend, for the new    is not comparable to him
A  new Friend is as new      Wine    when it is old
thou  shalt drink   it with   Pleasure,  With   what
Strength of Allusion, and Force of Thought, has
he described the Breaches and Violations of Friendship?  Whoso casteth a Stone at the Birds frayeth
them  away    and he    that upbraideth his   Friend,
breaketh Friendship,   Tho' thou drawest a Sword
at a Friend yet despair not, for there may be a ret
turning to Favourt If thou hast opened thy Mouth
against thy Friend fear not, for there may be a Reconciliation; except for upbraiding, or Pride, or disclosing of Secrets, or a treacherous Wound; for, for
these things every Friend will depart, We may ob
serve in this and several other Precepts in this Author,
those little familiar Instances and Illustrations which are
so much admired in the moral Writings of Horace and
Epictetus, There are very beautiful Instances of this
Nature in the following Passages, which are likewise
written upon the same Subject: "Whoso discovereth
Secrets loseth his Credit, and shall never find a
Friend to his Mind, Love thy Friend, and be faiths
ful unto him; but if thou bewrayest his Secrets, follow
no more after him f For as a Man hath destroyed
his Enemy, so hast thou lost the Love of thy Friend f
as






THE SPECTATOR                     259
as one that letteth a Bird go out of his Hand, so hast No, 68,
thou let thy Friend go, and shall not get him  again Fridaf,
Follow after him  no more, for he is too far off[ he is May 18
as a Roe escaped out of the Snare, As for a Wound,
it may be bound up, and after reviling there may be
Reconciliation  but he   that bewrayeth   Secretsf is
without Hope,
Among the several Qualifications of a good Friend,
this wise Man has very justly singled out Constancy
and Faithfulness as the principal, To these, others have
added Virtue, Knowledge, Discretion, Equality in Age
and Fortune, and as Cicero calls it, Morum  Comitas, a
Pleasantness of Temper, If I were to give my Opinion
upon such an exhausted Subject, I should join to these
other Qualifications a certain /Equability or Evenness
of Behaviour, A Man often contracts a Friendship with
one whom perhaps he does not find out till after a
Year's Conversation; when on a sudden some latent
ill Humour breaks out upon him, which he never
discovered or suspected at his first entering into an
'Intimacy with him, There are several Persons who in
some certain Periods of their Lives are inexpressibly
agreeable, and in others as odious and detestable, Martial
has given us a very pretty Picture of one of this Species
in the following Epigram
Difficilis, facies, jucundus, acerbus es idem,
Nec tecum possum vivere, nec sine te,
In all thy Humours, whether grave or mellow,
Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant Fellowl
Hast so much Wit, and Mirth, and Spleen about thee,
There is no living with thee, nor without thee,
It is very unlucky for a Man to be entangled in a
Friendship with one, who by these Changes and Vicissitudes of Humour is sometimes amiable and sometimes
odious, And as most Men are at some Times in an
admirable Frame and Disposition of Mind, it should be
one of the greatest Tasks of Wisdom to keep our selves
well when we are so, and never to go out of that
which is the agreeable Part of our Character,       C


Saturday




260            THE SPECTATOR
No. 69.  No, 69,
Saturday, [ADDISON,]                          Saturday, May 19,
May 19,
1711.           Hic segetes, illc veniunt felicius uvae
Arborei foetus alibi atque iniussa virescunt
Gramina, Nonne vides, croceos ut Tmolus odores,
India mittit ebur, molles sua thura Sabaeil
At Chalybes nudi ferrum, virosaque Pontus
Castorea, Eladum palmas Epirus equarum
Continuo has leges aeternaque foedera certis
Imposuit Natura locis --—,-Virg
THERE is no Place in the Town which I so much
love to frequent as the Royal Exchange, It gives
me a secret Satisfaction, and, in some measure, gratifies
my Vanity, as I am an Englishman, to see so rich an
Assembly of Countrymen and Foreigners consulting
together upon the private Business of Mankind, and
making this Metropolis a kind of Emporium      for the
whole Earth, I must confess I look upon High-Change
to be a great Council, in which all considerable Nations
have their Representatives,   Factors in the Trading
World are what Ambassadors are in the Politick World;
they negotiate Affairs, conclude Treaties, and maintain
a good Correspondence between those wealthy Societies
of Men that are divided from one another by Seas and
Oceans, or live on the different Extremities of a Coni
tinent, I have often been pleased to hear Disputes
adjusted between an Inhabitant of Japan and an Alders
man of London, or to see a Subject of the Great Mogul
entering into a League with one of the Czar of Muscovy,
I am infinitely delighted in mixing with these several
Ministers of Commerce, as they are distinguished by
their different Walks and different Languages s Sometimes
I am justled among a Body of Armenians: Sometimes I
am lost in a Crowd of Jews; and sometimes make one
in a Groupe of Dufch-men, I am a Dane, Swede, or
Frenchman at different times, or rather fancy my self
like the old Philosopher, who upon being asked what
Countryman he was, replied, That he was a Citizen
of the World.
Though I very frequently visit this busie Multitude
of Peopte, I am known to no Body there but my Friend
Sir




THE SPECTATOR


261


Sir ANDREW, who often smiles upon me as he No, 69,
sees me bustling in the Croud, but at the same time Saturday,
connives at my Presence without taking any further Ma7y 19
Notice of me, There is indeed a Merchant of Egypt,
who just knows me by sight, having formerly remitted
me some Mony to Grand Cairo; but as I am        not
versed in the Modern Coptick, our Conferences go no
further than a Bow and a Grimace,
This grand Scene of Business gives me an infinite
Variety of solid and substantial Entertainments, As I
am a great Lover of Mankind, my Heart naturally overflows with Pleasure at the sight of a prosperous and
happy Multitude, insomuch that at many publick Solemn
nities I cannot forbear expressing my Joy with Tears
that have stoln down my Cheeks, For this Reason I
am wonderfully delighted to see such a Body of Men
thriving in their own private Fortunes, and at the same
time promoting the Publick Stock; or in other Words,
raising Estates for their own Families, by bringing into
their Country whatever is wanting, and carrying out
of it whatever is superfluous,
Nature seems to have taken a particular Care to
disseminate her Blessings among the different Regions of
the World, with an Eye to this mutual Intercourse and
Traffick among Mankind, that the Natives of the several
Parts of the Globe might have a kind of Dependance
upon one another, and be united together by their
common Interest, Almost every Degree produces something peculiar to it, The Food often grows in one
Country, and the Sauce in another,   The Fruits of
Portugal are corrected by the Products of Barbadoesi
The Infusion of a China Plant sweetned with the Pith of
an Indian Cane, The Philippick Islands give a Flavour
to our European Bowls, The single Dress of a Woman
of Quality is often the Product of an Hundred Climates,
The Muff and the Fan come together from the different
Ends of the Earth, The Scarf is sent from the Torrid
Zone, and the Tippet from beneath the Pole, The
Brocade Petticoat rises out of the Mines of Peru, and the
Diamond Necklace out of the Bowels of Indostan,
If we consider our own_ Country in its natural Prospect,
without.




262


THE SPECTATOR


No, 69,  without any of the Benefits and Advantages of Commerce,
Saturday, what a barren uncomfortable Spot of Earth falls to our
Mayt19,  Sharel Natural Historians tell us, that no Fruit grows
originally among us, besides Hips and Haws, Acorns and
PigNutts, with other Delicacies of the like Nature; That
our Climate of it self, and without the Assistances of Art,
can make no further Advances towards a Plumb than to
a Sloe, and carries an Apple to no greater a Perfection
than a Crab, That our Melons, our Peaches, our Figs,
our Apricots, and Cherries, are Strangers among us, imr
ported in different Ages, and naturalized in our English
Gardens; and that they would all degenerate and fall
away into the Trash of our own Country, if they were
wholly neglected by the Planter, and left to the Mercy of
our Sun and Soil, Nor has Traffick more enriched our
Vegetable World, than it has improved the whole Face of
Nature among us, Our Ships are laden with the Harvest
of every Climate, Our Tables are stored with Spices, and
Oils, and Wines, Our Rooms are filled with Pyramids of
China, and adorned with the Workmanship of Japan:
Our Morning'sDraught comes to us from the remotest
Comers of the Earth s We repair our Bodies by the Drugs
of America, and repose our selves under Indian Canopies,
My Friend Sir ANDREW calls the Vineyards of France our
Gardens; the SpiceIslands our Hot-beds; the Persians
our SilkWeavers, and the Chinese our Potters, Nature
indeed furnishes us with the bare Necessaries of Life, but
Traffick gives us a great Variety of what is Useful, and
at the same time supplies us with every thing that is Conr
venient and Ornamental, Nor is it the least Part of this
our Happiness, that whilst we enjoy the remotest Products
of the North and South, we are free from those Extremities
of Weather which give them Birth  That our Eyes are re/
freshed with the green Fields of Britain, at the same time
that our Palates are feasted with Fruits that rise between
the Tropicks,
For these Reasons there are not more useful Members
in a Commonwealth than Merchants, They knit Matv
kind together in a mutual Intercourse of good Offices, dis"
tribute the Gifts of Nature, find Work for the Poor, add
Wealth to the Rich, and Magnificence to the Great, Our
English




THE SPECTATOR


263


English Merchant converts the Tin of his own Country No, 69.,
into Gold, and exchanges his Wooll for Rubies, The Saturdayi
Mahometans are cloathed in our British Manufacture, May 19,
and the Inhabitants of the Frozen Zone warmed with 17
the Fleeces of our Sheep,
When I have been upon the 'Change, I have often
fancied one of our old Kings standing in Person, where
he is represented in Effigy, and looking down upon the
wealthy Concourse of People with which that Place is
every Day filled, In this Case, how would he be sure
prized to hear all the Languages of Europe spoken in this
little Spot of his former Dominions, and to see so many
private Men, who in his Time would have been the
Vassals of some powerful Baron, Negotiating like Princes
for greater Sums of Mony than were formerly to be met
with in the Royal Treasury! Trade, without enlarging
the British Territories, has given us a kind of additional
Empire It has multiplied the Number of the Rich, made
our Landed Estates infinitely more Valuable than they
were formerly, and added to them an Accession of other
Estates as valuable as the Lands themselves,      C
No, 70,
[ADDISON,]                          Monday, May 21,
Interdum vulgus rectum videt,-Hor,
W    HEN I travelled, I took a particular Delight in
hearing the Songs and Fables that are come from
Father to Son, and are most in vogue among the common
People of the Countries through which I passed  for it is
impossible that any thing should be universally tasted and
approved by a Multitude, tho' they are only the Rabble of
a Nation, which hath not in it some peculiar Aptness to
please and gratifie the Mind of Man, Human Nature is
the same in all reasonable Creatures; and whatever falls
in with it, will meet with Admirers amongst Readers of
all Qualities and Conditions, Moliere, as we are told by
Monsieur Boileau, used to read all his Comedies to an
old Woman who was his House-keeper, as she sat with
him  at her Work by the ChimneyCorner; and could
foretel the Success of his Play in the Theatre, from the
Reception,




264


THE SPECTATOR


No. 70,  Reception it met at his FireSides For he tells us the
Monday, Audience always followed the old Woman, and never
y 21    failed to laugh in the same Place,
I know nothing which more shews the essential and
inherent Perfection of Simplicity of Thought, above that
which I call the Gothick Manner in Writing, than this,
that the first pleases all Kinds of Palates, and the latter
only such as have formed to themselves a wrong artificial
Taste upon little fanciful Authors and Writers of Epigram.
Homer, Virgil, or Milton, so far as the Language of
their Poems is understood, will please a Reader of plain
common Sense, who would neither relish nor comprehend an Epigram of Martial, or a Poem of Cowleys So,
on the contrary, an ordinary Song or Ballad that is the
Delight of the common People, cannot fail to please all
such Readers as are not unqualified for the Entertainment
by their Affectation or Ignorance; and the Reason is plain,
because the same Paintings of Nature which recommend
it to the most ordinary Reader, will appear Beautiful to the
most refined,
The old Song of Chevy/Chase is the favourite Ballad of
the common People of England/ and Ben, Johnson used
to say he had rather have been the Author of it than
of all his Works,  Sir Philip Sidney in his Discourse
of Poetry speaks of it in the following Words; I never
heard the old Song of Piercy and Douglas, that I found
not my Heart more moved than with a Trumpet and
yet it is sung by some blind Crowder with no rougher
Voice than rude Stile; which being so evil apparelled
in the Dust and Cobweb of that uncivil Age, what would
it work trimmed in the gorgeous Eloquence of Pindar
For my own Part, I am so professed an Admirer of this
antiquated Song, that I shall give my Reader a Critick upon
it, without any further Apology for so doing,
The greatest Modern Criticks have laid it down as a
Rule, That an Heroick Poem should be founded upon
some important Precept of Morality, adapted to the Con'
stitution of the Country in which the Poet writes. Homer
and Virgil have formed their Plans in this View, As
Greece was a Collection of many Governments, who
suffered very much among themselves, and gave the
PersiaP








THE SPECTATOR                    265
Persian Emperor, who was their common Enemy, many No. 70,
Advantages over them   by their mutual Jealousies and Monday,
Animosities, Homer, in order to establish among them an May 21
Union, which was so necessary for their Safety, grounds
his Poem upon the Discords of the several Grecian Princes
who were engaged in a Confederacy against an Asiatick
Prince, and the several Advantages which the Enemy
gained by such their Discords, At the Time the Poem
we are now treating of was written, the Dissentions of
the Barons, who were then so many petty Princes, ran very
high, whether they quarrelled among themselves, or with
their Neighbours, and produced unspeakable Calamities to
the Country % The Poet, to deter Men from such unnatural
Contentions, describes a bloody Battel and dreadful Scene
of Death, occasioned by the mutual Feuds which reigned
in the Families of an English and Scotch Nobleman, That
he designed this for the Instruction of his Poem, we may
learn from his four last Lines, in which, after the Example
of the modem Tragedians, he draws from it a Precept for
the Benefit of his Readers,
God save the King, and bless the Land
In Plenty, Joy, and Peace /
And grant henceforth that foul Debate
'Twixt Noblemen may cease,
The next Point observed by the greatest Heroic Poets,
hath been to celebrate Persons and Actions which do
Honour to their Country~ Thus Virgil's Hero was the
Founder of Rome, Homer's a Prince of Greece; and for
this Reason Valerius Flaccus and Statius, who were
both Romans, might be justly derided for having chosen
the Expedition of the Golden Fleece, and the Wars of
Thebes, for the Subjects of their Epic Writings,
The Poet before us has not only found out an Hero
in his own Country, but raises the Reputation of it by
several beautiful Incidents, The English are the first
who take the Field, and the last who quit it,    The
English bring only Fifteen hundred to the Battel, the
Scotch Two thousand, The English keep the Field
with Fifty threes The Scotch retire with Fifty five:
All the rest on each Side being slain in Battel  But
the most remarkable Circumstance of this Kind, is the
different




266             THE SPECTATOR
No, 70.  different Manner in which      the  Scotch   and  English
Monday, Kings receive the News of this Fight, and of the great;My 21,  Men's Deaths who commanded in it,
This News was brought to Edinburgh,
Where Scotland's King did reign,
That brave Earl Douglas suddenly
Was with an Arrow slain,
O heavy News, King James did say,
Scotland can Witness be,
I have not any Captain more
Of such Account as he,
Like Tydings to King Henry came
Within as short a Space,
That Piercy of Northumberland
Was slain in ChevyChace,
Now God be with him, said our King,
Sith 'twill no better be,
I trust I have within my Realm
Five hundred as good as he,
Yet shall not Scot nor Scotland say
But I will Vengeance take,
And be revenged on them all
For brave Lord Piercy's Sake,
This Vow full well the King perform'd
After on Humbledown,
In one Day fifty Knights were slain
With Lords of great Renown,
And of the rest of small Account
Did manyThousands dye, &c,
At the same time that our Poet shews a laudable Partiality to his Countrymen, he represents the Scots after
a Manner not unbecoming so bold and brave a People,
Earl Douglas on a milkwhite Steed,
Most like a Baron bold,
Rode foremost of the Company
Whose Armour shone ike Gold,
His Sentiments and Actions are every Way suitable to
an Hero, One of us two, says he, must dye        I am  an
Earl as well as your self, so that you can have no
Pretence for refusing the Combat      However, says he,
'tis Pity, and indeed would    be a Sin, that so many
innocent






4l


THE SPECTATOR


267


innocent Men should perish for our Sakes; rather let you No, 70,
and I end our Quarrel in single Fight                     Monday, i
May 21,
E'er thus I will out.braved be,                17T
One of us two shall dye
I know thee well, an Earl thou art,
Lord Piercy, so am L
But trust me, Piercy, Pity it were,
And great Offence, to kill
Any of these our harmless Men,
For they have done no Ill,
Let thou and I the Battel try,
And set our Men aside l
Accurst be he, Lord Piercy said,
By whom this is deny'd,
When these brave Men had distinguished themselves
in the Battel and in single Combat with each other, in
the Midst of a generous Parly, full of heroic Sentiments,
the Scotch Earl falls; and with his Dying Words encour,
ages his Men    to revenge his Death, representing to
them, as the most bitter Circumstance of it, that his
Rival saw him fall,
With that there came an Arrow keen
Out of an English Bow,
Which struck Earl Douglas to the Heart
A deep and deadly Blow,
Who never spoke more Words than these,
Fight on my merry Men all,
For why, my Life is at an End,
Lord Piercy sees my Fall,
Merry Men, in the Language of those Times, is no
more than a chearful Word for Companions and Fellows
Soldiers, A   Passage in the Eleventh Book of Virgil's
iEneids is very much to be admired, where Camilla in
her last Agonies, instead of weeping over the Wound
she had received, as one might have expected from       a
Warrior of her Sex, considers only (like the Hero of              X
whom   we are now    speaking) how the Battel should be
continued after her Death,
Tum sic expirans, &c,
A gathering Mist o'erclouds her chearful Eyes, #
And from her Cheeks the rosy colour flies,
Then, turns to her, whom, of her Female Train,:
She trusted most, and thus she speaks with Pain,
Acca




268             THE SPECTATOR
No. 70.          Acca, 'tis past! He swims before my Sight,
Monday,          Inexorable Deaths and claims his Right,
May 21,          Bear my last Words to Turnus, fly with Speed,:l711            And bid him timely to my Charge succeeds
Repel the Trojans, and the Town reliever
Farewel
Turnus did not die in so heroic a Manner; tho' our
Poet seems to have had his eye upon Turnus's Speech
in the last Verse,
Lord Piercy sees my Fall,
---    Vicisti & victum tendere palmas
Ausonii videreEarl Piercy's Lamentation over his Enemy is generous,
beautiful, and passionate; I must only caution the Reader
not to let the Simplicity of the Stile, which one may
well pardon in so old a Poet, prejudice him    against the
Greatness of the Thought,
Then leaving Life Earl Piercy took
The dead Man by the Hand,
And said, Earl Douglas for thy Life
Would I had lost my Land,
0 Christ I My very Heart doth bleed
With Sorrow for thy Sake)
For sure a more renowned Knight
Mischance did never take,
That beautiful Line    Taking   the dead   Man    by  the
Hand, will put the Reader in Mind of AEneas's Be/
haviour towards Lausus, whom he himself had Slain
as he came to the Rescue of his aged Father,
At vero ut vultum vidit morientis, & ora,
Ora modis Anchisiades pallentia miris,
Ingemuit, miserans graviter, dextramque tetendit, &c,
The pious Prince beheld young Lausus dead!
He grev'd, he wepti then grasp'd his Hand, and said,
Poor hapless Youth! What Praises can be paid
To Worth so great --— I
I shall take another Opportunity to consider the other
Parts of this old Song,                                 C
Tuesday




THE SPECTATOR                       269
No 71                                                     No, 71,
No, 71,                                                   Tuesday,
[STEELE,]                              Tuesday, May 22, May 22,
-— Scribere jussit amor,-Ovid,               171
T    HE entire Conquest of our Passions is so difficult a
Work, that they who despair of it should think of
a less difficult Task, and only attempt to Regulate them,
But there is a third thing which may contribute not
only to the Ease, but also to the Pleasure of our Life;
and that is, refining our Passions to a greater Elegance,
than we receive them   from  Nature, When the Passion
is Love, this Work is performed in innocent, tho' rude
and uncultivated Minds, by the mere Force and Dignity
of the Object, There are Forms which naturally create
Respect in the Beholders, and at once inflame and
chastise the Imagination,   Such an Impression as this
gives an immediate Ambition to deserve, in order to
please, This Cause and Effect are beautifully described
by Mr, Dryden in the Fable of Cymon and Iphigenia,
After he has represented Cymon so stupid, that
He whistled as he went, for want of Thought,
he makes him fall into the following Scene, and shews
its Influence upon him so excellently, that it appears as
Natural as Wonderful,
It happen'd on a Summer's Holiday,
That to the Greenwood-shade he took his wayt
His Quarter-staff, which he cou'd ne'er forsake,
Hung half before, and half behind his Back,
He trudg'd along unknowing what he sought,
And whistled as he went, for want of Thought,
By Chance conducted, or by Thirst constraind,
The deep Recesses of the Grove he gain'd
Where in a Plain, defended by the Wood,
Crept thro' the matted Grass a Crystal Flood,
By which an AlablasterFountain stood     J
And on the Margin of the Fount was laid
(Attended by her Slaves) a sleeping Maid,
Like Dian, and her Nymphs, when tir'd with Sport,
To rest by cool Eurotas they resorts
The Dame her self the Goddess well express'd,
Not more distinguish'd by her Purple Vest,
Than by the charming Features of her Face,
And ev'n in Slumber a superior Grace}
Her




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No, 71,        Her comely Limbs compos'd with decent Care,
Tuesday,      Her Body shaded with a slight Cymarrf
May 22,       Her Bosom to the View was only bare
1 1711.         The Fanning Wind upon her Bosom blows,
To meet the Fanning Wind the Bosom roses
The Fanning Wind and purling Streams continue her
Repose,
The Fool of Nature stood with stupid Eyes
And gaping Mouth, that testify'd Surprize,
Fix'd on her Face, nor could remove his Sight,
New as he was to Love, and Novice in Delights
Long mute he stood, and, leaning on his Staff,
His Wonder witness'd with an Ideot Laugh
Then would have spoke, but by his glimm'ring Sense
First found his want of Words, and fear'd Offences
Doubted for what he was he should be known,
By his ClownSAccent, and his CountryTone,
But lest this fine Description should be excepted against,
as the Creation of that great Master Mr, Dryden, and
not an Account of what has really ever happened in
the World; I shall give you, verbatim, the Epistle of
an enamoured Footman in the Country, to his Mistress,
Their Sirnames shall not be incerted, because their
Passion demands a greater Respect than is due to their
Quality,   James is Servant in     a great Family, and
Elizabeth waits upon the Daughter of one as numerous,
some Miles off of her Lover, James, before he beheld
Betty, was vain of his Strength, a rough Wrestler, and
quarrelsome CudgelPlayer; Betty a publick Dancer at
Maypoles, a Romp at Stool Balls He always following
idle Women, she playing among the Peasants? He a
Country Bully, she a Country Coquette,     But Love has
made her constantly in her Mistress's Chamber, where
the young Lady gratifies a secret Passion of her own,
by making Betty talk of James     and James is become
a constant Waiter near his Master's Apartment, in reads
ing, as well as he can, Romances, I cannot learn who
Molly is, who it seems walked Ten Mile to carry the
angry Message, which gave Occasion to what follows,
'To ELIZABETH
My Dear Betty,                      May 14, 1711,
Remember your bleeding Lover, who lyes bleeding
at the Wounds     Cupid   made with    the   Arrows he
borrowed


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271


borrowed at the Eyes of Venus, which is your sweet No 71,
Person,                                              Tuesday,
Nay more, with the Token you sent me for my 1712,
Love and Service offered to your sweet Person, which
was your base Respects to my ill Conditions, when
alasl there is no ill Conditions in me, but quite contrary; all Love and Purity, especially to your sweet
Person; but all this I take as a Jest
But the sad and dismal News which Molly brought
me, struck me to the Heart, which was, it seems, and
is your ill Conditions for my Love and Respects to
you,
For she told me, if I came Forty times to you, you
would not speak with me, which Words I am sure is
a great Grief to me,
Now, my Dear, if I may not be permitted to your
sweet Company, and to have the Happiness of speaks
ing with your sweet Person, I beg the Favour of you
to accept of this my secret Mind and Thoughts, which
hath so long lodged in my Breast; the which if you
do not accept, I believe will go nigh to break my
Heart,
For indeed, my Dear, I love you above all the
Beauties I ever saw in all my Life,
The young Gentleman, and my Master's Daughter,
the Londoner that is come down to marry her, sate in
the Arbour most part of last Night. Oh! dear Betty,
must the Nightingales sing to those who marry for
Mony, and not to us true Lovers   Oh my dear Betty,
that we could meet this Night where we used to do in
the Wood!
Now, my Dear, if I may not have the Blessing of
kissing your sweet Lips, I beg I may have the Happi,
ness of kissing your fair Hand, with a few Lines from
your dear self, presented by whom you please or think
fit  I believe, if Time would permit me, I could write
all Day; but the Time being short, and Paper little, no
more from your never-failing Lover till Death,
James
Poor Jamesl Since his Time and Paper were so
short




272


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INo. 71,  short; I, that have more than I can use well of both,
ITuesday, will put the Sentiments of his kind Letter (the Stile of
iMay 2, which seems to be confused with Scraps he had got
in hearing and reading what he did not understand)
into what he meant to express,
'Dear Creature,
Can you then neglect him who has forgot all his
Recreations and Enjoyments, to pine away his Life in
thinking of you? When I do so, you appear more
amiable to me than Venus does in the most beautiful
Description that ever was made of her, All this Kindness you return with an Accusation, that I do not love
you? But the contrary is so manifest, that I cannot
think you in earnest, But the Certainty given me in
your Message by Molly, that you do not love me, is
what robs me of all Comfort, She says you will not
see me: If you can have so much Cruelty, at least
write to me, that I may kiss the Impression made by
your fair Hand,  I love you above all things, and, in
my Condition, what you look upon with Indifference
is to me the most exquisite Pleasure or Pain,   Our
young Lady, and a fine Gentleman from London, who
are to marry for mercenary Ends, walk about our
Gardens, and hear the Voice of Evening Nightingales,
as if for Fashionesake they courted those Solitudes,
because they have heard Lovers do so,    Oh Bettyl
could I hear these Rivulets murmur, and Birds sing
while you stood near me, how little sensible should I
be that we are both Servants, that there is any thing
on Earth above us, Oh I I could write to you as long
as I love you, till Death it self,
JAMES,'
N.B, By the Words III Conditions, James means in
a Woman Coquetry, in a Man Inconstancy,           R


Wednesday




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273


No, 72,                                              No, 72.
[ADDISON,]                        Wednesday, May 23, day,
— Genus immortale manet, multosque per annos      May 23,
Stat fortuna domus, & avi numerantur avorum,-Virg.  1711.
AVING already given my Reader an Account of
several extraordinary Clubs both ancient and modern,
I did not design to have troubled him with any more Nar,
ratives of this Nature; but I have lately received Informa,
tion of a Club which I can call neither ancient nor modern,
that I dare say will be no less surprising to my Reader
than it was to my self; for which Reason I shall communi,
cate it to the Publick as one of the greatest Curiosities in
its kind,
A Friend of mine complaining of a Tradesman who is
related to him, after having represented him as a very idle
worthless Fellow, who neglected his Family, and spent
most of his Time over a Bottle, told me, to conclude his
Character, that he was a Member of the Everlasting Club,
So very odd a Title raised my Curiosity to enquire into
the Nature of a Club that had such a sounding Name;
upon which my Friend gave me the following Account
The Everlasting Club consists of an hundred Members,
who divide the whole twenty four Hours among them in
such a manner, that the Club sits Day and Night from
one end of the Year to another; no Party presuming to
rise till they are relieved by those who are in course to
succeed them, By this means a Member of the Everlasting Club never wants Company; for tho' he is not upon
Duty himself, he is sure to find some who are; so that if
he be disposed to take a Whet, a Nooning, an Evening's
Draught, or a Bottle after Midnight, he goes to the Club,
and finds a Knot of Friends to his Mind,
It is a Maxim in this Club That the Steward never
dies; for as they succeed one another by way of Rotation,
no Man is to quit the great Elbow.chair which stands at
the upper End of the Table, till his Successor is in a Readi,
ness to fill it; insomuch that there has not been a Sede
vacante in the Memory of Man,
This Club was instituted towards the End (or, as some
s                       of




I


274


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No, 72.  of them  say, about the Middle) of the Civil Wars, and
IWednes continued without Interruption till the Time of the Great
day2,   Fire, which burnt them    out, and dispersed them  for
iLY ', several Weeks, The Steward at that time maintained his
Post till he had like to have been blown up with a neigh,
bouring House (which was demolished in order to stop
the Fire); and would not leave the Chair at last, till he
had emptied all the Bottles upon the Table, and received
repeated Directions from the Club to withdraw himself,
This Steward is frequently talked of in the Club, and
looked upon by every Member of it as a greater Man,
than the famous Captain mentioned in my Lord Claren,
don, who was burnt in his Ship because he would not
quit it without orders, It is said that towards the Close
of 1700, being the great Year of Jubilee, the Club had it
under Consideration whether they should break up or
continue their Session; but after many Speeches and Debates, it was at length agreed to sit out the other Century,
This Resolution passed in a general Club Nemine Contradicente,
Having given this short Account of the Institution and
Continuation of the Everlasting Club, I should here en
deavour to say something of the Manners and Characters
of its several Members, which I shall do according to the
best Lights I have received in this Matter,
It appears by their Books in general, that since their
first Institution they have smoaked Fifty Tun of Tobacco,
drank Thirty Thousand Butts of Ale, One Thousand Hogsp
heads of Red Port, Two hundred Barrels of Brandy, and
a Kilderkin of small Beers There has been likewise a
great Consumption of Cards, It is also said, that they
observe the Law in Ben, Johnson's Club, which orders
the Fire to be always kept in (focus perennis esto) as
well for the Convenience of lighting their Pipes, as to
cure the Dampness of the ClubRoom, They have an
old Woman in the nature of a Vestal, whose Business it
is to cherish and perpetuate the Fire, which burns from
Generation to Generation, and has seen the Glasshouse
Fires in and out above an Hundred times.
The Everlasting Club treats all other Clubs with an
Eye of Contempt, and talks even of the KitCat and October
as






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275


as of a couple of Upstarts, Their ordinary Discourse (as No, 72, i
much as I have been able to learn of it) turns altogether Wedaes.
upon such Adventures as have passed in their own As, day,
sembly; of Members who have taken the Glass in their 171  '
Turns for a Week together, without stirring out of the
Club; of others who have smoaked an hundred Pipes at
a Sitting  of others who have not missed their Morning's
Draught for Twenty Years together s Sometimes they
speak in Raptures of a Run of Ale in King Charles's
Reign; and sometimes reflect with Astonishment upon
Games at Whisk, which have been miraculously recovered
by Members of the Society, when in all human Probability the Case was desperate,
They delight in several old Catches, which they sing
at all Hours to encourage one another to moisten their
Clay, and grow immortal by drinking; with many other
edifying Exhortations of the like nature,
There are four general Clubs held in a Year, at which
Times they fill up Vacancies, appoint Waiters, confirm
the old FireMaker, or elect a new one, settle Contribuo,
tions for Coals, Pipes, Tobacco, and other Necessaries,
The Senior Member has out-lived the whole Club
twice over, and has been drunk with the Grandfathers
of some of the present sitting Members,           C
No, 73,
[ADDISON,]                         Thursday, May 24,
------  Dea certe I-Virg,
IT is very strange to consider, that a Creature like Man,
who is sensible of so many Weaknesses and Imperfec,
tions, should be actuated by a Love of Fame That Vice
and Ignorance, Imperfection and Misery should contend
for Praise, and endeavour as much as possible to make
themselves Objects of Admiration,
But notwithstanding Man's Essential Perfection is but
very little, his Comparative Perfection may be very cons
siderable, If he looks upon himself in an abstracted Light,
he has not much to boast of but if he considers himself
with regard to others, he may find Occasion of glorying,
if not in his own Virtues, at least in the Absence of
another's




276


THE SPECTATOR


to, 73, another's Imperfections, This gives a different Turn to
bhursday, the Reflections of the Wise Man and the Fool, The first
lay 24, endeavours to shine in himself, and the last to outshine
others, The first is humbled by the Sense of his own
Infirmities, the last is lifted up by the Discovery of those
which he observes in other Men, The Wise Man con
siders what he wants, and the Fool what he abounds in,
The Wise Man is happy when he gains his own Approbation, and the Fool when he Recommends himself to the
Applause of those about him,
But however unreasonable and absurd this Passion for
Admiration may appear in such a Creature as Man, it is
not wholly to be discouraged; since it often produces
very good Effects, not only as it restrains him from doing
any thing which is mean and contemptible, but as it
pushes him to Actions which are great and glorious, The
Principle may be defective or faulty, but the Consequences
it produces are so good, that, for the Benefit of Mankind, it
ought not to be extinguished,
It is observed by Cicero, that Men of the greatest and
the most shining Parts are the most actuated by Ambition;
and if we look into the two Sexes, I believe we shall
find this Principle of Action stronger in Women than in
Men,
The Passion for Praise, which is so very vehement in
the fair Sex, produces excellent Effects in Women of
Sense, who desire to be admired for that only which deserves Admiration, and I think we may observe, without
a Compliment to them, that many of them do not only
live in a more uniform Course of Virtue, but with an in/
finitely greater Regard to their Honour, than what we find
in the Generality of our own Sex, How many Instances
have we of Chastity, Fidelity, Devotion? How many
Ladies distinguish themselves by the Education of their
Children, Care of their Families, and Love of their Husbands, which are the great Qualities and Atchievements
of Womankind As the making of War, the carrying on
of Traffick, the Administration of Justice, are those by
which Men grow famous, and get themselves a Name,
But as this Passion for Admiration, when it works
according to Reason, improves the beautiful Part of our
Species




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277


Species in every thing that is Laudable; so nothing is No, 73;
more Destructive to them when it is governed by Vanity Thursday
and Folly,  What I have therefore here to say, only M   24,
regards the vain Part of the Sex, whom for certain Reasons,
which the Reader will hereafter see at large, I shall
distinguish by the name of Idols,  An Idol is wholly
taken up in the Adorning of her Person, You see in
every Posture of her Body, Air of her Face, and Motion of
her Head, that it is her Business and Employment to gain
Adorers, For this Reason your Idols appear in all publick
Places and Assemblies, in order to seduce Men to their
Worship,  The Playhouse is very frequently filled with
Idols; several of them  are carried in Procession every
Evening about the Ring, and several of them set up their
Worship even in Churches, They are to be accosted in
the Language proper to the Deity, Life and Death are in
their Power j Joys of Heaven and Pains of Hell are at their
disposal: Paradise is in their Arms, and Eternity in every
Moment that you are present with them,      Raptures,
Transports, and Extasies are the Rewards which they
confer: Sighs and Tears, Prayers and broken Hearts are
the Offerings which are paid to them, Their Smiles make
Men happy; their Frowns drive them to despair, I shall
only add under this Head, that Ovid's Book of the Art of
Love is a kind of Heathen Ritual, which contains all the
Forms of Worship which are made use of to an Idol,
It would be as difficult a Task to reckon up these different
kinds of Idols, as Milton's was to number those that were
known in Canaan, and the Lands adjoining. Most of them
are Worshipped, like Moloch, in Fires and Flames, Some
of them, like Baal, love to see their Votaries cut and
slashed, and shedding their Blood for them, Some of
them, like the Idol in the Apocrypha, must have Treats
and Collations prepared for them  every Night, It has
indeed been known, that some of them have been used by
their incensed Worshippers like the Chinese Idols, who
are Whipped and Scourged when they refuse to comply
with the Prayers that are offered to them,
I must here observe, that those Idolaters who devote
themselves to the Idols I am here speaking of, differ very
much from all other kinds of Idolaters, For as others fall
out




278


THE SPECTATOR


No, 73,  out because they Worship different Idols, these Idolaters
hursday, quarrel because they Worship the same,
May 24,   The Intention therefore of the Idol is quite contrary to
7       the wishes of the Idolater  as the one desires to confine
the Idol to himself, the whole Business and Ambition of
the other is to multiply Adorers, This Humour of an
Idol is prettily described in a Tale of Chaucere He repre,
sents one of them sitting at a Table with three of her
Votaries about her, who are all of them  courting her
Favour, and paying their Adorationss She smiled upon
one, drank to another, and trod upon the other's Foot which
was under the Table, Now which of these three, says the
old Bard, do you think was the Favourite? In troth, says
he, not one of all the three,
The Behaviour of this old Idol in Chaucer, puts me in
mind of the Beautiful Clarinda, one of the greatest Idols
among the Moderns, She is Worshipped once a Week by
Candle-light in the midst of a large Congregation generally
called an Assembly, Some of the gayest Youths in the
Nation endeavour to plant themselves in her Eye, while
she sits in form with multitudes of Tapers burning about
her, To encourage the Zeal of her Idolaters, she bestows
a Mark of her Favour upon every one of them, before they
go out of her Presence, She asks a Question of one, tells
a Story to another, glances an Ogle upon a third, takes a
Pinch of Snuff from the fourth, lets her Fan drop by
accident to give the fifth an occasion of taking it up, In
short, every one goes away satisfied with his Success, and
encouraged to renew his Devotions on the same Canonical
Hour that Day Sevennight,
An Idol may be Undeified by many accidental Causes,
Marriage in particular is a kind of Counter-Apotheosis, or
a Deification inverted, When a Man becomes familiar
with his Goddess, she quickly sinks into a Woman,
Old Age is likewise a great Decayer of your Idol  The
truth of it is, there is not a more unhappy Being than a
superannuated Idol, especially when she has contracted
such Airs and Behaviour as are only Graceful when her
Worshippers are about her,
Considering therefore that in these and many other
Cases the VWoman generally outlives the Idol, I must
returnt




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279


return to the Moral of this Paper, and desire my fair No. 73.
Readers to give a proper Direction to their Passion for Thufaday
being admired; In order to which, they must endeavour May 24,
to make themselves the Objects of a reasonable and
lasting Admiration, This is not to be hoped for from
Beauty, or Dress, or Fashion, but from those inward
Ornaments which are not to be defaced by Time or
Sickness, and which appear most amiable to those who
are most acquainted with them,                    C
No, 74,
[ADDISON,]                           Friday, May 25,
--  Pendent opera interrupta —,-Virg,
IN my last Monday's Paper I gave some general
Instances of those beautiful Strokes which please the
Reader in the old Song of Chevy;dChase; I shall here,
according to my Promise, be more particular, and shew
that the Sentiments in that Ballad are extreamly Natural
and Poetical, and full of the majestick Simplicity which
we admire in the greatest of the ancient Poets   For
which Reason I shall quote several Passages of it, in
which the Thought is altogether the same with what
we meet in several Passages of the lEneid; not that I
would infer from thence, that the Poet (whoever he
was) proposed to himself any Imitation of those Passages,
but that he was directed to them  in general, by the
same kind of Poetical Genius, and by the same Copyings
after Nature,
Had this old Song been filled with Epigrammatical
Turns and Points of Wit, it might perhaps have pleased
the wrong Taste of some Readers; but it would never
have become the Delight of the common People, nor
have warmed the Heart of Sir Philip Sidney like the
Sound of a Trumpet; it is only Nature that can have
this Effect, and please those Tastes which are the most
unprejudiced or the most refined, I must however beg
leave to dissent from  so great an Authority as that of
Sir Philip Sidney, in the Judgment which he has passed
as to the rude Stile and evil Apparel of this Antiquated
Song; for there are several Parts in it where not only
the




280             THE SPECTATOR
(No, 74,  the Thought but the Language is majestick, and the
lPtidaY, Numbers sonorous; at least, the Apparel is much more
1M7  5    gorgeous than many of the Poets made use of in Queen
Elizabeth's Time, as the Reader will see in several of
the following Quotations,
What can be greater than either the Thought or the
Expression in that Stanza,
To drive the Deer with Hound and Horn
Earl Piercy took his Ways
The Child may rue that was unborn
The Hunting of that Day!
This Way of considering the Misfortunes which this
Battel would bring upon Posterity, not only on those
who were born immediately after the Battel and lost
their Fathers in it, but on those also who perished in
future Battels which took their rise from this Quarrel of
the two Earls, is wonderfully beautiful, and conformable
to the Way of Thinking among the ancient Poets,
Audiet pugnas vitio parentum
Rara juventus.-Hor,
What can be more sounding and poetical, or resemble
more the majestick Simplicity of the Ancients, than the
following Stanzas?
The stout Earl of Northumberland
A Vow to God did make,
His Pleasure in the Scottish Woods
Three Summer's Days to take,
With fifteen hundred Bowmen bold,
All chosen Men of Might,
Who knew full well, in Time of Need,
To aim their Shafts aright,
The Hounds ran swiftly thro' the Woods
The nimble Deer to take,
And with their Cries the Hills and Dales
An Eccho shrill did make,
--- Vocat ingenti clamore Cithaeron,
Taygetique canes, domitrixque Epidaurus equorums
Et vox assensu nemorum ingeminata remugit,
Lo, yonder doth Earl Dowglas come,
HIis Men in Armour brightf
Full twenty hundred Scottish Spears,
All marching in our Sight,






All




THE SPECTATOR                         281
All Men of pleasant Tividale,                   No, 74,
Fast by the River Tweed, &c,                  Friday,
The Country of the Scotch Warriors, described in these May25,
two last Verses, has a fine     romantick   Situation, and
affords a Couple of smooth Words for Verse,         If the
Reader compares the foregoing six Lines of the Song
with the following Latin Verses, he will see how much
they are written in the Spirit of Virgil,
Adversi campo apparent, hastasque reductis
Protendunt longe dextris, & spicula vibrants
Quique altum Preneste vrir, quique arva Gabinac
Junonis, gelidumque Anienem, & roscida rivis
Hernica saxa colunts
-— qui rosea rura Velini,
Qui Tetricae horrentes rupes, montemque Severum,
Casperiamque colunt, Forulosque 6 flumen Himellae;
Qui Tiberim Fabarimque bibunt,But to proceed,
Earl Dowglas on a milk-white Steed,
Most like a Baron bold,
Rode foremost of the Company
Whose Armour shone lke Gold,
Turnus ut antevolans tardum praecesserat agmen, tc,
Vidisti, quo Turnus equo, quibus ibat in armis
AureusOur English Archers bent their Bows,
Their Hearts were good and true
At the first Flight of Arrows sent,
Full threescore Scots they slew,
They clos'd full fast on ev'ry Side,
No Slackness there was foundl
And many a gallant Gentleman
Lay gasping on the Ground,
With that there came an Arrow keen
Out of an English Bow,
Which struck Earl Dowglas to the Heart
A deep and deadly Blow,
/Eneas was wounded after the same Manner by an
unknown Hand in the midst of a Parly,
Has inter voces, media inter talia verba,
Ecce Vrro stridens alis allapsa sagitta est,
Incertum qua pulsa manu --


But




282              THE SPECTATOR
No, 74,   But of all the descriptive Parts of this Song, there are
Friday,   none more beautiful than the four following Stanzas,
May 25, which have a great Force and Spirit in them, and are
1    filled with very natural Circumstances,     The Thought
in the third Stanza was never touched by any other
Poet, and is such    an  one as would    have shined in
Homer or in Virgil,
So thus did both those Nobles die,
Whose Courage none could stain s
An English Archer then perceiv'd
The noble Earl was slain,
He had a Bow bent in his Hand,
Made of a trusty Tree,
An Arrow of a Clothiyard long
Unto the Head drew he,
Against Sir Hugh Montgomery
So right his Shaft he set,
The greysgoose Wing that was thereon
In his Heart-blood was wet,
This Fight did last from Break of Day
Till setting of the Sunl
For when they rung the Evening Bell
The Baitel scarce was done.
One may observe likewise, that in the Catalogue of the
Slain the Author has followed the Example of the
greatest ancient Poets, not only in giving a long List
of the Dead, but by diversifying it with little Characters
of particular Persons,
And with Earl Douglas there was slain
Sir Hugh Montgomery,
Sir Charles Carrel, that from the Field
One foot would never flyl
Sir Charles Murrel of Ratcliff too,
His Sister's Son was he,
Sir David Lamb, so well esteem'd,
Yet saved could not be,
The familiar Sound in these Names destroys the Majesty
of the Description; for this Reason I do not mention
this Part of the Poem but to shew the natural Cast of
Thought which appears in it, as the two last Verses
look almost like a Translation of Virgil,
-- Cadit & Ripheus justissimus unus
Qui fuit in Teucris & servantissimus aequi,
Diis aliter visum —
In








THE SPECTATOR                      283
In the Catalogue of the English who fell, Witherington's No. 74,  i
Behaviour is in the same Manner particularized very Friday,
artfully, as the Reader is prepared for it by that Account May 25,
which is given of him in the Beginning of the Battel;     '
though I am  satisfied your little Buffoon Readers (who
have seen that Passage ridiculed in Hudibras) will not
be able to take the Beauty of its For which Reason I
dare not so much as quote it,
Then stept a gallant Squire forth,
Witherington was his Name,
Who said, 1 would not have it told
To Henry our King for Shame,
That e'er my Captain fought on Foot,
And I stood looking on,
We meet with the same Heroick Sentiments in Virgil,
Non pudet, 0 Rutuli, pro cunctis talibus unam
Objectare animam  numerone an viribus aequi
Non sumus I
What can be more natural or more moving, than the
Circumstances in which he describes the Behaviour of
those Women who had lost their Husbands on         this
fatal Day?
Next Day did many Widows come
Their Husbands to bewail,
They wash'd their Wounds in brinish Tears,
But all would not prevail
Their Bodies bath'd in purple Bloodt
They bore with them away
They kiss'd them dead a thousand times,
When they were clad in Clay,
Thus we see how     the Thoughts of this Poem, which
naturally arise from the Subject, are always simple, and
sometimes exquisitely noble; that the Language is often
very sounding, and that the whole is written with a
true Poetical Spirit,
If this Song had been written in the Gothic Manner,
which is the Delight of all our little Wits, whether
Writers or Readers, it would not have hit the Taste of
so many Ages, and have pleased the Readers of all
Ranks and Conditions,    I shall only beg Pardon    for
such


I






284


THE SPECTATOR


No, 74,  such a Profusion of Latin Quotations; which I should
Friday,  not have made use of, but that I feared my own Judg,
May 25   ment would have looked too singular on such a Subject
had not I supported it by the Practice and Authority
of Virgil,                                         C
No, 75,
[STEELE,]                            Saturday, May 26,
Omnis Aristippum decuit color & status & res,-Hor,
T was with some Mortification that I suffered the
Raillery of a Fine Lady of my Acquaintance, for Calls
ing, in one of my Papers, Dorimant a Clown, She was
so unmerciful as to take Advantage of my invincible
Taciturnity, and on that occasion, with great Freedom to
consider the Air, the Height, the Face, the Gesture of him
who could pretend to judge so arrogantly of Gallantry,
She is full of Motion, Janty and lively in her Impertinw
ence, and one of those that commonly pass, among the
Ignorant, for Persons who have a great deal of Humour,
She had the Play of Sir Fopling in her Hand, and after
she had said it was happy for her there was not so
charming a Creature as Dorimant now living, she began
with a Theatrical Tone of Voice to read, by way of
Triumph over me, some of his Speeches, 'Tis she, thatf
lovely Hair, that easie Shape, those wanton Eyes, and
all those melting Charms about her Mouth, which
Medley spoke of I'll follow the Lottery, and put in for
a Prize with my Friend Bellaair,
In Love the Victors from the Vanquish'd fly/
They fly that wound, and they pursue that dye,
Then turning over the Leaves, she reads alternately, and
speaks,
And you and Loveit to her Cost shall find,
I fathom all the Depths of Womankind,
Oh the Fine Gentleman    But here, continues she, is the
Passage I admire most, where he begins to Teize Loveitt
and Mimick Sir Fopling, Oh the pretty Satyr, in his
resolving to be a Coxcomb to please, since Noise aad
Nonsense have such powerful charms!










THE SPECTATOR


285


I, that I may Successful prove,               No, 75,
Transform my self to what you love,           Saturday,
Then how like a Man of the Town, so Wild and Gay is Ma7 26;
that
The Wife will find a Difference in our Fate,
You Wed a Woman, I a good Estate,
It would have been a very wild Endeavour for a Man
of my Temper to offer any Opposition to so nimble a
Speaker as my Fair Enemy is, but her Discourse gave me
very many Reflections, when I had left her Company,
Among others, I could not but consider, with some Attenw
tion, the false Impressions the generality (the Fair Sex
more especially) have of what should be intended, when
they say a Fine Gentleman  and could not help revolving
that Subject in my Thoughts, and settling, as it were, an
Idea of that Character in my own Imagination,
No Man ought to have the Esteem of the rest of the
World, for any Actions which are disagreeable to those
Maxims which prevail, as the Standards of Behaviour, in
the Country wherein he lives,  What is opposite to the
eternal Rules of Reason and good Sense, must be excluded
from any Place in the Carriage of a Well-bred Man, I
did not, I confess, explain my self enough on this Subject,
when I called Dorimant a Clown, and made it an Instance
of it, that he called the Orange Wench, DoubleTripe, I
should have shewed, that Humanity obliges a Gentleman
to give no Part of Humankind Reproach, for what they,
whom they Reproach, may possibly have in common with
the most Virtuous and Worthy amongst us, When a
Gentleman speaks Coarsly, he has dressed himself Clean
to no purpose: The Cloathing of our Minds certainly ought
be regarded before that of our Bodies, To betray in a
ans Talk a corrupted Imagination, is a much greater
Offence against the Conversation of Gentlemen, than any
Negligence of Dress imaginable, But this Sense of the
Matter is so far from being received among People even
f Condition, that Vocifer passes for a Fine Gentleman,
ie is Loud, Haughty, Gentle, Soft, Lewd, and Obsequious
y turns, just as a little Understanding and great Impu.
ence prompt him  at the present Moment, He passes
among


i






286


THE SPECTATOR


No, 75,  among the Silly Part of our Women for a Man of Wit,
Saturday, because he is generally in Doubt  He Contradicts with a
May 26  Shrug, and confutes with a certain Sufficiency, in profess,
ing such or such a Thing is above his Capacity, What
makes his Character the pleasanter is, that he is a professed
Deluder of Women; and because the empty Coxcomb has
no Regard to any thing that is of it self Sacred and Inviol
able, I have heard an unmarried Lady of Fortune say,
it is Pity so fine a Gentleman as Vocifer is so great an
Atheist,  The Crowds of such inconsiderable Creatures
that infest all Places of Assembling, every Reader will
have in his Eye from his own Observation; but would it
not be worth considering what Sort of Figure a Man who
formed himself upon' those Principles among us, which
are agreeable to the Dictates of Honour and Religion,
would make in the familiar and ordinary Occurrences of
Life
I hardly have observed any one fill his several Duties
of Life better than Ignotus,  All the Under parts of his
Behaviour, and such as are exposed to common Observation, have their rise in him from great and noble Motives
A firm and unshaken Expectation of another Life, makes
him become this; Humanity and good Nature, fortified
by the Sense of Virtue, has the same Effect upon him, as
the Neglect of all Goodness has upon many others, Being
firmly Established in all Matters of Importance, that certain
Inattention which makes Men's Actions look easie appears
in him with greater Beauty By a thorough Contempt of
little Excellencies, he is perfectly Master of them, This
Temper of Mind leaves him under no necessity of Studye
ing his Air, and he has this peculiar Distinction, that his
Negligence is unaffected,
He that can work himself into a Pleasure in considering
this Being as an uncertain one, and think to reap an
Advantage by its Discontinuance, is in a fair way of doing
all Things with a graceful Unconcern, and Gentlemanlike
Ease, Such a one does not behold his Life as a short,
transient, perplexing State, made up of trifling Pleasures,
and great Anxieties; but sees it in quite another Light;
his Griefs are Momentary and his Joys Immortal, ReflecS
tion upon Death is not a gloomy and sad thought of Resigning






I
f
I




THE SPECTATOR


287


signing every Thing that he Delights in, but it is a short No, 75.
Night followed by an endless Day, What I would here Saturday,
contend for is, that the more Virtuous the Man is, the May 26,
nearer he will naturally be to the Character of Genteel
and Agreeable, A Man whose Fortune is Plentiful, shews
an Ease in his Countenance, and Confidence in his Be,
haviour, which he that is under Wants and Difficulties
cannot assume. It is thus with the State of the Mind he
that governs his Thoughts with the everlasting Rules of
Reason and Sense, must have something so inexpressibly
Graceful in his Words and Actions, that every Circum,
stance must become him, The Change of Persons or
Things around him do not at all alter his Situation, but he
looks disinterested in the Occurrences with which others
are distracted, because the greatest purpose of his Life is to
maintain an Indifference both to it and all its Enjoyments,
In a word, to be a Fine Gentleman, is to be a Generous and
a Brave Man, What can make a Man so much in con,
stant good Humour and Shine, as we call it, than to be
supported by what can never fail him, and to believe that
whatever happens to him was the best thing that could
possibly befal him, or else he on whom it depends would
not have permitted it to have befallen him at all?  R
No, 76,
[STEELE,]                           Monday, May 28,
Ut tu fortunam, sic nos te, Celse, feremus,-Hor,
T   HERE is nothing so common as to find a Man whom
in the general Observation of his Carriage you take
to be of an uniform Temper, subject to such unaccountable
Starts of Humour and Passion, that he is as much unlike
himself, and differs as much from the Man you at first
thought him, as any two distinct Persons can differ from
each other, This proceeds from the Want of forming
some Law of Life to our selves, or fixing some Notion of
things in general, which may affect us in such manner, as
to create proper Habits both in our Minds and Bodies,
The Negligence of this, leaves us exposed not only to an
unbecoming Levity in our usual Conversation, but also
to the same Instability in our Friendships, Interests, and
Alliances






288


THE SPECTATOR


No. 76. Alliances. A Man who is but a meer Spectator of what
Mondayf passes around him, and not engaged in Commerces of any
May 28, Consideration, is but an ill Judge of the secret Motions of
the Heart of Man, and by what Degrees it is actuated to
make such visible Alterations in the same Person s But at
the same time, when a Man is no way concerned in the
Effect of such Inconsistences in the Behaviour of Men of
the World, the Speculation must be in the utmost Degree
both diverting and instructive; yet to enjoy such Observa,
tions in the highest Relish, he ought to be placed in a Post
of Direction, and have the dealing of their Fortunes to
them, I have therefore been wonderfully diverted with
some Pieces of secret History, which an Antiquary, my
very good Friend, lent me as a Curiosity, They are
Memoirs of the private Life of Pharamond of France,
'Pharamond,' says my Author, 'was a Prince of in,
finite Humanity and Generosity, and at the same time
the most pleasant and facetious Companion of his Time,
He had a peculiar Taste in him   (which would have
been unlucky in any Prince but himself), he thought
there could be no exquisite Pleasure in Conversation but
among Equals; and would pleasantly bewail himself that
he always lived in a Crowd, but was the only Man in
France that never could get into Company, This Turn
of Mind made him delight in Midnight Rambles, attended
only with one Person of his Bed-chamber He would in
these Excursions get acquainted with Men (whose Temper
he had a Mind to try) and recommend them privately to
the particular Observation of his first Minister, He genera
ally found himself neglected by his new Acquaintance, as
soon as they had Hopes of growing great; and used on
such Occasions to remark, That it was a great Injustice to
tax Princes of forgetting themselves in their high Fortunes,
when there were so few that could with Constancy bear
the Favour of their very Creatures,' My Author in these
loose Hints has one Passage that gives us a very lively
Idea of the uncommon Genius of Pharamondi    He met
with one Man whom he had put to all the usual Proofs
he made of those he had a Mind to know throughly, and
found him for his Purposes In Discourse with him one
Day, he gave him Opportunity of saying how much would
satisfie






THE SPECTATOR


289


satisfie all his Wishes, The Prince immediately revealed No, 76,
himself, doubled the Sum, and spoke to him in this Mondayf
manner, "Sir, You have twice what you desired, by     y 28,
the Favour of Pharamond / but look to it that you are
satisfied with it, for 'tis the last you shall ever receive,
I from this Moment consider you as mine / and to make
you truly so, I give you my Royal Word you shall never
be greater or less than you are at present, Answer me
not (concluded the Prince smiling) but en/oy the Fortune
I have put you in, which is above my own Condition f
for you have hereafter nothing to hope or to fear,"
His Majesty having thus well chosen and bought a
Friend and Companion, he enjoyed alternately all the
Pleasures of an agreeable private Man and a great and
powerful Monarch: He gave himself, with his Companion,
the Name of the merry Tyrant; for he punished his
Courtiers for their Insolence and Folly, not by any Act of
publick Disfavour, but by humorously practising upon
their Imaginations, If he observed a Man untractable to
his Inferiors, he would find an Opportunity to take some
favourable Notice of him, and render him insupportable,
He knew all his own Looks, Words and Actions had their
Interpretations; and his Friend Monsieur Eucrate (for so
he was called) having a great Soul without Ambition, he
could communicate all his Thoughts to him, and fear no
artful Use would be made of that Freedom, It was no
small Delight, when they were in private, to reflect upon
all which had passed in publick,
Pharamond would often, to satisfie a vain Fool of
Power in his Country, talk to him in a full Court, and
with one Whisper make him despise all his old Friends
and Acquaintance, He was come to that Knowledge of
Men by long Observation, that he would profess altering
the whole Mass of Blood in some Tempers, by thrice
speaking to them, As Fortune was in his Power, he
gave himself constant Entertainment in managing the
mere Followers of it with the Treatment they deserved,
He would, by a skilful Cast of his Eye and half a Smile,
make two Fellows who hated, embrace and fall upon each
other's Neck with as much Eagerness, as if they followed
their real Inclinations, and intended to stifle one another,
T                   When






290


THE SPECTATOR


No, 76,  When he was in high good Humour, he would lay the
Monday, Scene with Eucrate, and on a publick Night exercise the
May 2    Passions of his whole Court  He was pleased to see an
haughty Beauty watch the Looks of the Man she had
long despised, from Observation of his being taken notice
of by Pharamond; and the Lover conceive higher Hopes,
than to follow the Woman he was dying for the Day
before, In a Court, where Men speak Affection in the
strongest Terms, and Dislike in the faintest, it was a
comical Mixture of Incidents, to see Disguises thrown
aside in one Case and encreased on the other, according
as Favour or Disgrace attended the respective Objects of
Men's Approbation or Disesteem, Pharamond, in his
Mirth, upon the Meanness of Mankind, used to say, 'As
he could take away a Man's Five Senses, he could give
him an Hundred, The Man in Disgrace shall immediately lose all his Natural Endowments, and he that
finds Favour have the Attributes of an Angel,' He would
carry it so far as to say, ' It should not be only so in the
Opinion of the lower Part of his Court, but the Men
themselves shall think thus meanly or greatly of thenv
selves, as they are out or in the good Graces of a Court,'
A Monarch who had Wit and Humour like Pharamond,
must have Pleasures which no Man else can ever have
Opportunity of enjoying, He gave Fortune to none but
those whom he knew could receive it without Transport;
he made a noble and generous Use of his Observations;
and did not regard his Ministers as they were agreeable
to himself, but as they were useful to his Kingdom  By
this Means the King appeared in every Officer of State i
and no Man had a Participation of the Power, who had
not a Similitude of the Virtue of Pharamond,       R
No, 77,
[BUDGELL,]                           Tuesday, May 29,
Non convivere
licet, nec urbe tota
Quisquam est tam prope tam proculque nobis,-Mart,
Y Friend WLL. HoNEYCOMB is one of those Sort of
Men who are very often absent in Conversation,
and what the French call a reveur and a distrait, A
little






THE SPECTATOR


291


little before our Club-time last Night we were walking No. 77,
together in Somerset Garden, where WILL. had picked Tuesday,
up a small Pebble of so odd a Make, that he said he May 29,
would present it to a Friend of his, an eminent Vir 171
tuoso, After we had walked some time, I made a full
stop with my Face towards the West, which WILL.
knowing to be my usual Method of asking what's a
Clock, in an  Afternoon, immediately pulled out his
Watch, and told me we had seven Minutes good, We
took a turn or two more, when, to my great Surprize,
I saw him squir away his Watch a considerable way
into the Thames, and with great Sedateness in his
Looks put up the Pebble, he had before found, in his
Fob, As I have naturally an Aversion to much Speaks
ing, and do not love to be the Messenger of ill News,
especially when it comes too late to be useful, I left him
to be convinced of his Mistake in due time, and con,
tinued my Walk, reflecting on these little Absences and
Distractions in Mankind, and resolving to make them
the Subject of a future Speculation,
I was the more confirmed in my Design, when I
considered that they were very often Blemishes in the
Characters of Men of excellent Sense; and helped to
keep up the Reputation of that Latin Proverb, which
Mr, Dryden has Translated in the following Lines:
Great Wit to Madness sure is near ally'd,
And thin Partitions do their Bounds divide,
My Reader does, I hope, perceive, that I distinguish
a Man who is Absent, because he thinks of something
else, from  one who is Absent, because he thinks of
nothing at alls The latter is too Innocent a Creature
to be taken notice of; but the Distractions of the former
may, I believe, be generally accounted for from one of
these Reasons,
Either their Minds are wholly fixed on some par,
ticular Science, which is often the Case of Mathematicians
and other Learned Men; or are wholly taken up with
some Violent Passion, such as Anger, Fear, or Love,
which ties the Mind to some distant Object or, lastly,
these Distractions proceed from a certain Vivacity and
Fickleness




292           THE SPECTATOR
No, 77,  Fickleness in a Man's Temper, which while it raises
Tuesday, up infinite Numbers of Ideas in the Mind, is continually
Ma1129  pushing it on, without allowing it to rest on any par,
ticular Image,  Nothing therefore is more unnatural
than the Thoughts and Conceptions of such a Man,
which are seldom occasioned either by the Company
he is in, or any of those Objects which are placed
before him, While you fancy he is Admiring a Beau
tiful Woman, 'tis an even Wager that he is solving a
Proposition in Euclid; and while you may imagine he
is reading the Paris Gazette, 'tis far from being impossible,
that he is pulling down and rebuilding the Front of his
Country-House,
At the same time that I am endeavouring to expose this
Weakness in others, I shall readily confess that I once
laboured under the same Infirmity my self, The Method
I took to Conquer it was a firm Resolution to learn some'
thing from whatever I was obliged to see or hear, There
is a way of Thinking, if a Man can attain to it, by which
he may strike somewhat out of any thing, I can at
present observe those Starts of good Sense and Struggles of
unimproved Reason in the Conversation of a Clown, with
as much Satisfaction as the most shining Periods of the
most finished Orator; and can make a shift to command
my Attention at a PuppetfShow or an Opera, as well as
at Hamlet or Othello, I always make one of the Company
I am in; for though I say little my self, my Attention to
others, and those Nods of Approbation which I never
bestow unmerited, sufficiently shew that I am among
them, Whereas WILL. HoNEYcoMa, tho' a Fellow of good
Sense, is every Day doing and saying an hundred Things,
which he afterwards confesses, with a well-bred Franky
ness, were somewhat mal a propos, and undesigned,
I chanced the other Day to go into a Coffeehouse,
where WILL. was standing in the midst of several Auditors
whom he had gathered round him, and was giving them
an Account of the Person and Character of Moll Hinton
My Appearance before him just put him in Mind of me,
without making him reflect that I was actually present
So that keeping his Eyes full upon me, to the grea
Surprize of his Audience, he broke off his first Harangue
an(




THE SPECTATOR


293


and proceeded thus, -'Why now there's my Friend No, 77,
(mentioning me by Name) he is a Fellow that thinks a Tuesday,
great deal, but never opens his Mouth I warrant you he May 29,
is now thrusting his short Face into some Coffee-house
about 'Change, I was his Bail in the time of the PopishPlot, when he was taken up for a Jesuit,' If he had looked
on me a little longer, he had certainly described me so
particularly, without ever considering what led him into
it, that the whole Company must necessarily have found
me out; for which reason, remembring the old Proverb,
Out of Sight out of Mind, I left the Room; and upon meeting him an Hour afterwards, was asked by him, with a
great deal of good Humour, in what Part of the World I
had lived, that he had not seen me these three Days,
Monsieur Bruyere has given us the Character of an
absent Man, with a great deal of Humour, which he has
pushed to an agreeable Extravagance; with the Heads of
it I shall conclude my present Paper,
'Menalcas (says that excellent Author) comes down in
a Morning, opens his Door to go out, but shuts it again,
because he perceives that he has his Night-cap on; and
examining himself further, finds that he is but half shaved,
that he has stuck his Sword on his Right Side, that his
Stockings are about his heels, and that his Shirt is over his
Breeches, When he is dressed he goes to Court, comes
into the Drawing-room, and walking bolt upright under a
branch of Candlesticks, his Wig is caught up by one of
them, and hangs dangling in the Air, All the Courtiers
fall a laughing, but Menalcas laughs louder than any of
them, and looks about for the Person that is the Jest of the
Company, Coming down to the Court-gate he finds a
Coach, which taking for his own he whips into it; and the
Coachman drives off, not doubting but he carries his
Master, As soon as he stops, Menalcas throws himself
out of the Coach, crosses the Court, ascends the Stair-case,
and runs thro' all the Chambers with the greatest
Familiarity, reposes himself on a Couch, and fancies
himself at Home, The Master of the House at last comes
in, Menalcas rises to receive him, desires him to sit down;
he talks, muses, and then talks again, The Gentleman of
the House is tired and amazed; Menalcas is no less so,
but






294


THE SPECTATOR


No, 77,  but is every Moment in hopes that his impertinent Guest
Tuesday, will at last end his tedious Visit, Night comes on, when
May 29, Menalcas is hardly undeceived,
17When he is playing at Backgammon, he calls for a full
Glass of Wine and Water; 'tis his turn to throw, he has
the Box in one Hand, and his Glass in the other, and being
extremely dry, and unwilling to lose Time, he swallows
down both the Dice, and at the same Time throws his
Wine into the Tables, He writes a Letter, and flings the
Sand into the Inkbottle; he writes a second, and mistakes
the Superscription, A Nobleman receives one of them,
and upon opening it reads as follows, I would have you,
honest Jack, immediately upon the Receipt of this, take in
Hay enough to serve me the Winter, His Farmer receives
the other, and is amazed to see in it, My Lord, I received
your Grace's Commands with an intire Submission to —
If he is at an Entertainment, you may see the Pieces of
Bread continually multiplying round his Plates 'Tis true,
the rest of the Company want it, as well as their Knives and
Forks, which Menalcas does not let them keep long, Some~
times in a Morning he puts his whole Family in an
hurry, and at last goes out without being able to stay for
his Coach or Dinner and for that Day you may see him
in every part of the Town, except the very Place where
he had appointed to be upon a Business of Importance,
You would often take him for every thing that he is not
for a Fellow quite Stupid, for he hears nothing; for a Fool,
for he talks to himself, and has an hundred Grimaces and
Motions with his Head, which are altogether involuntary;
for a proud Man, for he looks full upon you, and takes no
Notice of your saluting him  The Truth on't is, his Eyes
are open, but he makes no use of them, and neither sees
you, nor any Man, nor any thing else, He came once
from his Country-house, and his own Footmen undertook
to rob him, and succeeded, They held a Flambeau to his
Throat, and bid him deliver his Purse; he did so, and
coming home told his Friends he had been robbed they
desire to know the Particulars, Ask my Servants, says
Menalcas, for they were with me,'                X


r


Wednesda)


I




No, 78,
[STEELE,]


THE SPECTATOR


295


No, 78,
Wednesday, May  dnes
Wednesday, May 30,    day', _




Cum tails sis, utinam noster esses I
HE following Letters are so pleasant, that I doubt
not but the Reader will be as much diverted with
them as I was, I have nothing to do in this Day's
Entertainment, but taking the Sentence from the End of
the Cambridge Letter, and placing it at the Front of my
Paper; to shew the Author I wish him my Companion
with as much Earnestness as he invites me to be his,
' Sir,
I send you the inclosed, to be inserted (if you think
them  worthy of it) in your SPECTATORS; in which so
surprising a Genius appears, that it is no wonder if all
Mankind endeavours to get somewhat into a Paper
which will always live,
As to the Cambridge Affair, the Humour was really
carried on in the Way I describe it, However, you have
a full Commission to put out or in, and to do whatever
you think fit with it, I have already had the Satisfaction
of seeing you take that Liberty with some things I have
before sent you,
Go on, Sir, and prosper, You have the best Wishes of,
Sir,
Your very Affectionate and
Obliged Humble Servant,'
'Mr, SPECTATOR,                    Cambridge,
You well know it is of great Consequence to clear Titles,
and it is of Importance that it be done in the proper
Season; On which Account this is to assure you, that the
CLUB OF UGLY FACES was instituted originally at CAM,
BRIDGE in the merry Reign of K-g Ch-les II, As in
great Bodies of Men it is not difficult to find Members
enow for such a Club, so (I remember) it was then feared,
upon their intention of dining together, that the Hall
belonging to CLARE HALL, (the ugliest then in the
Town, tlo' now the neatest) would not be large enough
HNDsoMEL   to hold the Company,. Invitations were made
to


May 3j,
1711,




296


THE SPECTATOR


No. 78.  to great Numbers, but very few accepted them without
Wedneso much Difficulty, ONE pleaded, that being at London in a
My 30    Bookseller's Shop, a Lady going by with a great Belly
1711,   longed to kiss him, HE had certainly been excused, but
that Evidence appeared, That indeed one in London did
pretend she longed to kiss him, but that it was only
a Pickpocket, who during his kissing her stole away
all his Mony, ANOTHER would have got off by a
Dimple in his Chin; but it was proved upon him,
that he had by coming into a Room made a Woman
miscarry, and frighted two Children   into Fits,  A
THIRD alledged, That he was taken by a Lady for another
Gentleman, who was one of the handsomest in the
Universityl But upon Enquiry it was found, That the
Lady had actually lost one Eye, and the other was
very much upon the Decline,     A   FOURTH  produced
Letters out of the Country in his Vindication, in which
a Gentleman offered him his Daughter, who had lately
fallen in Love with him, with a good Fortune, But it
was made appear that the young Lady was amorous,
and had like to have run away with her Father's
Coachman; so that 'twas supposed, that her Pretence of
falling in Love with him was only in order to be well
married, It was pleasant to hear the several Excuses
which were made, insomuch that some made as much
Interest to be excused, as they would from   serving
Sheriff; however, at last the Society was formed, and
proper Officers were appointed; and the Day was fixed
for the Entertainment, which was in Venison Season,
A pleasant Fellow of King's College (commonly called
CRAB from his sour Look, and the only Man who did
not pretend to get off) was nominated for Chaplain;
and nothing was wanting but some one to sit in the
ElbowChair, by way of PRESIDENT, at the upper end of
the Table; and there the Business stuck, for there
was no Contention for Superiority there, This affair
made so great a Noise, that the K-g, who was then
at New-Market, heard of it, and was pleased merrily and
graciously to say, HE COULD NOT BE THERE HISELF, BUT HE
WOULD SEND THEM A BRACE OF BUCKS,
I would desire you, Sir, to set this Affair in a true
Light




THE SPECTATOR


297


Light, that Posterity may not be misled in so important No, 78,
a Points For w      hen the wise Man who shall write Wednes
your true History shall acquaint the World, That you day,
May 30,
had a DIPLOMA sent from the Ugly Club at OXFORD, 17       f
and That by Vertue of it you were admitted into it;
what a learned War will there be among future
Criticks about the Original of that Club, which both
Universities will contend so warmly for   And per,
haps some hardy Cantabrigian Author may then boldly
affirm, That the Word OXFORD was an Interpolation
of some Oxonian instead of CAMBRIDGE, This Affair
will be best adjusted in your Lifetime; but I hope
your Affection to your MOTHER will not make you
partial to your AUNT,
To tell you, Sir, my own Opinions Tho' I cannot
find any ancient Records of any Acts of the SoclETY
OF THE UGLY FACES, considered  in a publick   Capa-,
city; yet in a private one they have certainly Antiquity
on their Side,  I am perswaded they will hardly give
Place to  the  LOWNGERS, and   the  LOWNGERS are  of
the same Standing with the University it self,
Though we well know, Sir, you want no Motives
to do Justice, yet I am commissioned to tell you, that
you are invited to be admitted ad eundem   at CAM,
BRIDGE; and I believe I may venture safely to deliver
this as the Wish of our whole University,'
'To Mr, SPECTATOR,
The humble Petition of WHO and WHICH,
Sheweth,
That your Petitioners being in a forlorn and destitute
Condition, know not to whom    we should apply our
selves for Relief, because there is hardly any Man
alive who has not injured us, Nay, we speak it with
Sorrow, even You your self, whom   we should suspect
of such a Practice the last of all Mankind, can hardly
acquit your self of having given us some Cause of
Complaint, We are descended of ancient Families, and
kept up our Dignity and Honour many Years, till the
Jacksprat THAT supplanted us,   How   often have we
found




298


THE SPECTATOR


No, 78,  found our selves slighted by the Clergy in their Pulpits,
Wednes, and the Lawyers at the Bar?    Nay, how often have
Mday3   we heard in one of the most polite and august Assemblies
May 30,
1711,   in the Universe, to our great Mortification, these Words,
That THAT that noble L-d urged? which if one of
us had had Justice done, would have sounded nobler thus,
That WHICH that noble L-d urged, Senates themselves, the Guardians of British Liberty, have degraded us, 4
and preferred THAT to us; and yet no Decree was ever
given against us,  In the very Acts of Parliament, in
which the utmost Right should be done to every Body,
WORD, and Thing, we find our selves often either not
used, or used one instead of another, In the first and best
Prayer Children are taught, they learn to misuse us: Our
Father WHICH art in Heaven, should be, Our Father
WHO art in Heaven; and even a CONVocATION, after
long Debates, refused to consent to an Alteration of it,
In our general Confession we say,-Spare Thou them, 0
God, WHICH confess their Faults; which ought to be,
WHO confess their Faults, What Hopes then have we
of having Justice done us, when the Makers of our very
Prayers and Laws, and the most learned in all Faculties,
seem to be in a Confederacy against us, and our Enemies
themselves must be our Judges?
The Spanish Proverb says II sabio muda conscio, ii
necio no; L e, A wise Man changes his Mind, a Fool
never will, So that we think You, Sir, a very proper Person
to address to, since we know you to be capable of being
convinced, and changing your Judgment, You are well
able to settle this Affair, and to you we submit our Cause,
We desire you to assign the Butts and Bounds of each of
us; and that for the future we may both enjoy our own,
We would desire to be heard by our Council, but that we
fear in their very Pleadings they would betray our Cause,
Besides, we have been oppressed so many Years, that we
can appear no other Way, but in forma pauperis, All
which considered, we hope you will be pleased to do that
which to Right and Justice shall appertain,
R                          And Your Petitioners, &c,'


Thursday




THE SPECTATOR                   299
No, 79,
No, 79,                                             Thursday1l
[STEELE,]                          Thursday, May 31, May 31, Ar
1711.
Oderunt peccare boni virtutis amore,-Hor,
IHAVE received very many Letters of late from my
Female Correspondents, most of whom are very angry
with me for Abridging their Pleasures, and looking
severely upon things, in themselves indifferent, But I
think they are extreamly Unjust to me in this Imputation
All that I contend for is, that those Excellencies, which are
to be regarded but in the second Place, should not precede
more weighty Considerations, The Heart of Man de,
ceives him in spite of the Lectures of half a Life spent in
Discourses on the Subjection of Passion; and I do not know
why one may not think the Heart of Woman as unfaithful
to it self, If we grant an Equality in the Faculties of both
Sexes, the Minds of Women are less Cultivated with
Precepts, and consequently may, without Disrespect to
them, be accounted more liable to Illusion in Cases wherein
natural Inclination is out of the Interest of Virtue, I shall
take up my present Time in commenting upon a Billet or
two which came from Ladies, and from thence leave the
Reader to judge whether I am in the right or not, in
thinking it is possible Fine Women may be mistaken,
The following Address seems to have no other Design
in it, but to tell me the Writer will do what she pleases for
all me,
Mr, SPECTATOR,
I am  Young, and very much inclined to follow the
Paths of Innocence; but at the same time, as I have a
plentiful Fortune, and am of Quality, I am unwilling to
resign the Pleasures of Distinction, some little Satisfaction
in being Admired in general, and much greater in being
beloved by a Gentleman, whom I design to make my
Husband,   But I have a mind to put off entring into
Matrimony 'till another Winter is over my Head, which
(whatever, musty Sir, you may think of the Matter) I
design to pass away in hearing Musick, going to Plays,
Visiting, and all other Satisfactions which Fortune and
Youth




300


THE SPECTATOR


No, 79,  Youth, protected by Innocence and Virtue, can procure
Thursday, for,
May 31,                Sir,
17         Your most Humble Servant,
M, T
My Lover does not know I like him, therefore having
no Engagements upon me, I think to stay, and know i
whether I may not like any one else better,
I have heard WILL. HoNEYcoM  say, A  Woman seldom
writes her Mind but in her Postscript,      I think
this Gentlewoman has sufficiently discovered hers in
this, I'll lay what Wager she pleases against her present
Favourite, and can tell her that she will Like Ten more
before she is fixed, and then will take the worst Man she
ever liked in her Life, There is no end of Affection taken
in at the Eyes only; and you may as well satisfie those
Eyes with seeing, as control any Passion received by them
only, It is from Loving by Sight that Coxcombs so
frequently succeed with Women, and very often a Young
Lady is bestowed by her Parents to a Man who weds her
(as Innocence it self), tho' she has, in her own Heart,
given her Approbation of a different Man in every Assembly she was in the whole Year before, What is
wanting among Women, as well as among Men, is the
Love of laudable Things, and not to rest only in the
Forbearance of such as are Reproachful,
How far removed from a Woman of this light Imagina/
tion is Eudosia I  Eudosia has all the Arts of Life and
good Breeding with so much ease, that the Virtue of her
Conduct looks more like an Instinct than Choice, It is
as little difficult to her to think justly of Persons and
Things, as it is to a Woman of different Accomplishments
to move ill or look awkard, That which was, at first, the
effect of Instruction is grown into an Habit; and it would
be as hard for Eudosia to indulge a wrong Suggestion of
Thought, as it would be for Flavia the Fine Dancer, to
come into a Room with an unbecoming Air,
But the Misapprehensions People themselves have of
their own State of Mind, is laid down with much discerning in the following Letter, which is but an Extract of a
kind




THE SPECTATOR                      301
kind Epistle from my charming Mistress Hecatissa, who No. 79,
is above the Vanity of external Beauty, and is the better Thursdaya
Judge of the Perfections of the Mind,                 Ma 31
1711.,
'Mr. SPECTATOR,
I write this to acquaint you, that very many Ladies, as
well as my self, spend many Hours more than we used
at the Glass, for want of the Female Library of which
you promised us a Catalogue, I hope, Sir, in the Choice
of Authors for us, you will have a particular Regard to
Books of Devotion, What they are, and how many, must
be your chief Care; for upon the Propriety of such Writ-,
ings depends a great deal, I have known those among us
who think, if they every Morning and Evening spend an
Hour in their Closet, and read over so many Prayers in
Six or Seven Books of Devotion, all equally nonsensical,
with a sort of Warmth (that might as well be raised by a
Glass of Wine, or a Drachm of Citron) they may all the
rest of their time go on in whatever their particular
Passion leads them  to, The Beauteous Philauthia, who
is (in your Language) an Idol, is one of these Votaries;
she has a very pretty furnished Closet, to which she re,
tires at her appointed Hours l This is her Dressing-room,
as well as Chappel; she has constantly before her a large
Lookingglass, and upon the Table, according to a very
witty Author,
Together lye her PrayervBook and Paint,
At once t'improve the Sinner and the Saint,
It must be a good Scene, if one could be present at it,
to see this Idol by turns lift up her Eyes to Heav'n, and
steal Glances at her own dear Person, It cannot but be
a pleasing Conflict between Vanity and Humiliation,
When you are upon this Subject, chuse Books which
elevate the Mind above the World, and give a pleasing
Indifference to little things in it, For want of such Instructions, I am apt to believe so many People take it in
their Heads to be sullen, cross and angry, under Pretence
of being abstracted from the Affairs of this Life; when at
the same time they betray their Fondness for them by
doing their Duty     as a Task, and Pouting and reading
good




302


THE SPECTATOR:o, 79.  good Books for a Week together, Much of this I take to
LThursday, proceed from  the Indiscretion of the Books themselves,,lay31, whose very Titles of Weekly Preparations, and such
limited Godliness, lead People of ordinary Capacities into
great Errors, and raise in them a Mechanical Religion,
intirely distinct from Morality, I know a Lady so given
up to this sort of Devotion, that tho' she employs six or
eight Hours of the twenty four at Cards, she never misses
one constant Hour of Prayer, for which time another
holds her Cards, to which she returns with no little
Anxiousness 'till two or three in the Morning,   All
these Acts are but empty Shows, and, as it were, Complil
ments made to Virtue the Mind is all the while un,
touched with any true Pleasure in the Pursuit of it,
From hence I presume it arises that so many People call
themselves Virtuous, from no other Pretence to it but an
Absence of 11, There is Dulcianara is the most insolent
of all Creatures to her Friends and Domesticks, upon no
other Pretence in Nature, but that (as her silly Phrase is)
no one can say Black is her Eye, She has no Secrets,
forsooth, which should make her afraid to speak her Mind,
and therefore she is impertinently Blunt to all her Acquaintance, and unseasonably Imperious to all her Family,
Dear Sir, be pleased to put such Books in our Hands, as
may make our Virtue more inward, and convince some
of us that in a Mind truly Virtuous the Scorn of Vice is
always accompanied with the Pity of it This, and other
things, are impatiently expected from you by our whole
Sex, among the rest by, SIR,
Your most humble Servant,
B, D,
No, 80,
[STEELE,]                              Friday, June 1,
Coelum, non animum mutant, quf trans mare currunt,-Hor,
TN the Year 1688, and on the same Day of that Year,
were born in Cheapside, London, two Females of
exquisite Feature and Shape; the one we shall call
Brunetta, the other Phillis, A close Intimacy between
their Parents made each of them the first Acquaintance
the








THE SPECTATOR


303


the other knew  in the World: They Played, dressed No, 80,
Babies, acted Visitings, learned to Dance and make Friday
Curtsies, together, They were inseparable Companionsune 11
in all the little Entertainments their tender Years were
capable of: Which innocent Happiness continued till the
Beginning of their fifteenth Year, when it happened
that Mrs, Phillis had an Headdress on which became
her so very well, that instead of being beheld any more
with Pleasure for their Amity to each other, the Eyes
of the Neighbourhood were turned to remark them with
Comparison of their Beauty,    They now no longer
enjoyed the Ease of Mind and pleasing Indolence in
which they were formerly happy, but all their Words
and Actions were misinterpreted by each other, and
every Excellence in their Speech and Behaviour was
looked upon as an Act of Emulation to surpass the
other, These Beginnings of Dis-inclination soon improved into a Formality of Behaviour, a general Coldness,
and by natural Steps into an irreconcileable Hatred,
These two Rivals for the Reputation of Beauty, were
in their Stature, Countenance and Mein so very much
alike, that if you were speaking of them in their Absence,
the Words in which you described the one must give
you an Idea of the other,  They were hardly distinguishable, you would think, when they were apart, tho'
extreamly different when together,  What made their
Enmity the more entertaining to all the rest of their Sex
was, that in Detraction from each other neither could fall
upon Terms which did not hit her self as much as her
Adversary, Their Nights grew restless with Meditation
of new Dresses to outvie each other, and inventing new
Devices to recall Admirers, who observed the Charms
of the one rather than those of the other on the last
Meeting, Their Colours failed at each other's Appearance
flushed with Pleasure at the Report of a Disadvantage,
and their Countenances withered upon Instances of Applause, The Decencies to which Women are obliged,
made these Virgins stifle their Resentment so far as not
to break into open Violences, while they equally suffered
the Torments of a regulated Anger, Their Mothers, as
it is usual, engaged in the Quarrel, and supported the
several


I




304


THE SPECTATOR


No,80,   several Pretensions of the Daughters with all that ill,
Friday,  chosen sort of Expence which is common with People
of plentiful Fortunes and mean Taste, The Girls pre,
1    ceded their Parents like Queens of May, in all the
gaudy Colours imaginable, on every Sunday to Church,
and were exposed to the Examination of the Audience
for Superiority of Beauty,
During this constant Struggle it happened, that Phillis
one Day at publick Prayers smote the Heart of a gay
WestIndian, who appeared in all the Colours which can
affect an Eye that could not distinguish between being
fine and tawdry, This American in a Summer-Island
Suit was too shining and too gay to be resisted by Phillis,
and too intent upon her Charms to be diverted by any
of the laboured Attractions of Brunetta,  Soon after,
Brunetta had the Mortification to see her Rival disposed
of in a Wealthy Marriage, while she was only ad,
dressed to in a Manner that shewed she was the Admira,
tion of all Men, but the Choice of none, Phillis was
carried to the Habitation of her Spouse in Barbadoess
Brunetta had the ill Nature to enquire for her by
every Opportunity, and had the Misfortune to hear of
her being attended by numerous Slaves, fanned into
Slumbers by successive Hands of them, and carried from
Place to Place in all the Pomp of barbarous Magnificence,
Brunetta could not endure these repeated Advices, but
employed all her Arts and Charms in laying Baits for
any of Condition of the same Island, out of a meer Ambi
tion to confront her once more before she died, She at
last succeeded in her Design, and was taken to Wife by a
Gentleman whose Estate was contiguous to that of her
Enemy's Husband, It would be endless to ennumerate the
many Occasions on which these irreconcileable Beauties
laboured to excel each other; but in Process of Time it
happened, that a Ship put into the Island consigned to a
Friend of Phillis, who had Directions to give her the
Refusal of all Goods for Apparel, before Brunetfa could
be alarmed of their Arrival, He did so, and Phillis was
dressed in a few Days in a Brocade more gorgeous and
costly than had ever before appeared in that Latitude,
Brunetta languished at the Sight, and could by no Means
come








THE SPECTATOR


305


come up to the Bravery of her Antagonist  She come No, 80,
municated her Anguish of Mind to a faithful Friend, who Friday,
by an Interest in the Wife of Phillis's Merchant, procured 7ne,
a Remnant of the same Silk for Brunetta, Phillis took
Pains to appear in all publick Places where she was sure
to meet Brunetta; Brunetta was now prepared for the
Insult, and came to a publick Ball in a plain black Silk
Mantua, attended by a beautiful Negro Girl in a Petticoat
of the same Brocade with which Phillis was attired, This
drew the Attention of the whole Company; upon which
the unhappy Phillis swooned away, and was immediately
conveyed to her House, As soon as she came to herself
she fled from her Husband's House, went on board a Ship
in the Road, and is now landed in inconsolable Despair at
Plymouth,
POSTSCRIPT,
After the above melancholy Narration, it may perhaps
be a Relief to the Reader to peruse the following Expostulation,
To Mr, SPECTATOR,
The just Remonstrance of affronted That
Tho' I deny not the Petition of Mr, Who and Which,
yet You should not suffer them to be rude, and to call
honest People Names: For that bears very hard on some
of those Rules of Decency, which You are justly famous
for establishing,  They may find Fault, and correct
Speeches in the Senate and at the Bar, But let them try
to get themselves so often and with so much Eloquence
repeated in a Sentence, as a great Orator doth frequently
introduce me,
My Lordsl (says he) with humble Submission, That
that I say is this: that, That that, that Gentleman has
advanced, is not That, that he should have proved to your
Lordships, Let those two questionary Petitioners try to
do thus with their Whos and their Whiches,
What great Advantage was I of to Mr, Dryden in his
Indian Emperor,
You force me still to answer You in That,
u                      to


I




306


THE SPECTATOR


No,80,  to furnish out a Rhime to Morat?   And what a poor
Friday,  Figure would Mr, Bayes have made without his Egad and
June i,  all That?  How can a judicious Man distinguish one
thing from another, without saying This here, or That
there? And how can a sober Man, without using the Exz
pletives of Oaths (in which indeed the Rakes and Bullies
have a great Advantage over others) make a Discourse
of any tolerable Length, without That is; and if he be a
very grave Man indeed, without That is to say? And
how instructive as well as entertaining are those usual
Expressions, in the Mouths of great Men, Such things as
That and The like of That,
I am not against reforming the Corruptions of Speech
You mention, and own there are proper Seasons for the
Introduction of other Words besides That; but I scorn as
much to supply the place of a Who or a Which at every
Turn, as they are unequal always to fill mine; and I
expect good Language and civil Treatment, and hope to
receive it for the future  That, that I shall only add is,
that I am,
Yours,
R                                           THATI


The End of the First Volume,




NOTES






A. =Original Daily Issue.
B.. = Biographical Index.






NOTES
ADDISON dedicated his Poem to his Majesty (1695) and his Remarks Dedicaon Several Parts of Italy (I705) to Lord Somers: and wrote a fuller tion,
appreciation in No. 39 of the Free-Holder, published on the day of
Somers's funeral. Steele, in No. 438 of the Spectator, speaks of him as
"one of the greatest Souls now in the World."  Cf. Swift's 'Bookseller's Dedication' prefixed to the Tale of the Tub, and Pope's panegyrical
footnote to 1. 77 of the Epilogue to the Satires. See B. L
PAGE 3. Motto. Horace, Ars Poet. I43.                           No, 1I
- Below the motto of No. I of the original issue is printed, 'To
be Continued every Day.'
PAGE 4. The 'taciturnity' of Mr. Spectator, which would appear to be a
good-natured transcript of Addison's personal manner, is humorously
sustained throughout the subsequent papers.  The 'dumb man'
is the counterpart of the 'old astrologer' of the Tatler.  "She
gave out, with good success, that I was an old astrologer; after
that a dumb man; and last of all she made me pass for a lion."
(Guardian, No. I41.)
-Addison alludes, in the third paragraph, to the Oriental
savant, John Greaves (I602-1652), Professor of Geometry at
Gresham College, London, and afterwards Savilian Professor of
Astronomy at Oxford, who published Pyramidographia, or a
Discourse of the Pyramids of Egypt (I646) and several other
works, chiefly on Weights and Measures (collected and edited by
Birch, I737). His argument, an anticipation of that of Mr.
Piazzi Smyth, is explained in the title of a pamphlet printed in
I706, The Origine and Antiquity of our English Weights &
Measures discovered by their near agreement with such Standards
that are now found in one of the Egyptian Pyramids. Addison
returns, in Nos. 8, I7, 69, o10, 159, etc., to his joke about the
voyage to Grand Cairo.
PAGE 5. Cf. the descriptive paragraph in Steele's first paper in The
Tatler. " All accounts of Gallantry, Pleasure, and Entertainment
shall be under the article of White's Chocolate-house; Poetry,
under that of Will's Coffee-house; Learning, under the title of the
Grecian; Foreign and Domestic News you will have from Saint
James's Coffee-house."  Will's Coffee-house, in Russell Street,
Covent Garden, had been the chief rendezvous of the Wits since
Dryden's association with it, but by 17II its literary reputation
was on the decline. Swift, in his Rhapsody On Poetry, pictures its
"tribe of circling Wits," and, in the Tale of a Tub, refers satirically
to the low tone of conversation at this house at this time. So, too, in
Pope's correspondence of this period, there are several references to
the house and to its ruling spirit Tidcombe, whose "beastly laugh309




___


310               THE SPECTATOR
No, 1,    able life " was " at once nasty and diverting " (Elwin and Courthope,
vi. 84). Addison, who had been a habitue, withdrew in 1712 to
Button's, a new house on the other side of the street.  Child's in
St Paul's Churchyard, had, from its proximity to Doctors' Commons,
the Royal Society (then at Gresham College), and the College of
Physicians, a large clientele among the clergy and professional
classes, mostly of the Tory party (cf. Nos. 556 and 609).  St.
amoes's was a fashionable Whig house at the south-west corner of
St James's Street; and the Cocoa- Tree, in the same street, attracted
the Tories. The Grecian, in Devereux Street in the Strand (originally carried on by a Greek who had come to England with an
English merchant in 1652), was chiefly a lawyers' resort, but was
frequented by the learned for the discussion of questions of philosophy and scholarship (cf. Nos. 49 and 403). Pope addresses his
paper 'To the Learned Inquisitor Martinus Scriblerus: the Society
of Free Thinkers Greeting' from the Grecian, and satirises the
the second book of the Dunciad (11. 379, etc.).  There is a
pedantic symposia of the College Sophs and 'pert' Templars in
companion sketch in the humorous advertisement in the 78th Tatler,
which describes the 'seat of learning' in the Smyrna Coffee-house
in Pall Mall. Jonathan's, in Change Alley, was the favourite Coffeehouse of the merchant and stock-jobbing class ('that General Mart
of Stock-Jobbers,' Taller, No. 38), just as Garraway's, in the same
street, well-known for its wine sales, was the recognised rendezvous
of their more fashionable customers (see later papers).
-  The Post-Man newspaper-which, according to the 'Upholsterer,' wrote "like an angel" (Tatler, No. 232), and was "the
best for everything," according to John Dunton (Life and Errors,
1705)-was carried on by a M. Fonvive, described in the General
Postscript (1709, No. 12), as "M. Hugonotius, Politicus GalloAnglus, a spiteful Commentator." It had some reputation for its
foreign news and correspondence (cf. Tatler, No. 178).  Steele
imputed the loss of the 'Upholsterer's' intellect to its 'Way of
going on in the Words, and making no Progress in the Sense'
(Taller, No. 178); and Defoe criticised it in his Review ofthe Affairs
of France. See Swift's Journal to Stella, 7th letter: also Nichols's
Literary Anecdotes, iv. 61 etc., 84.
PAGE 6. The letters of correspondents became a feature of the
Spectator. Addison states his editorial position in Nos. I6, 46,
428, and 442 (with 450), and in No. 271 pleasantly refers to the
critical readers who, like Nick Doubt of the Taller (No. 91),
suspected the genuineness of these contributions. Steele was, as
Johnson tells us, much beholden to outside 'copy' (Lives, ed.
1790, ii. 343, 365). Two volumes of Orziinal and Genuine Letters
sent to the Taller and Spectator, were published in 1725 by Lillie,
the perfumer, with Steele's name on the title-page.
No, 2, PAGE 7. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. vii. 167.
- Johnson's statement (based on a paragraph by Budgell, which
Addison is said to have revised) that the personages of the Spectator were not "merely ideal," but "known and conspicuous in
various stations" (Lives, ii. 348), is probablyresponsible for the almost




NOTES                           311
morbid ingenuity of later editors in identifying the characters of No, 2,
these papers. Sir Roger's original, as generally held, was Sir John
Pakington, a Tory squire of Worcestershire (I671-1727). Captain
Sentry and Will. Honeycomb are said to be portraits of Colonels
Kempenfelt and Cleland.   Will Nimble, like Tom   Folio of
the Taller, has been traced (No. Io8, note), and even the," perverse
beautiful widow" has been claimed by History (No. II3, note).
"Theophrastus," says Budgell, " was the Spectator of the age he
lived in. He drew the pictures of particular men; and while he
was describing, for example, a miser, having some remarkable
offender of this kind in his eye, he threw in a circumstance or two,
which, tho' they might not possibly be proper examples of Avarice,
served to make the Picture of the man Compleat" (Pref. to The'
Moral Characters of Theophrastus, I714). The popular interpretation of this passage would appear to be somewhat forced; and
the difficulty of finding biographical analogies, especially in the
case of Sir John Pakington (see Dict. of Nat. Biog.), is a very
serious argument against its justness. Steele anticipated this antiquarian ingenuity, and endeavoured to thwart it (see No. 262), just
as Fielding later declared against the 'malicious applications' to his
characters in Joseph Andrews (III. i.). The characters are general,
as Addison hints in No. 34, and their literary kinship with Sir
Jeoffrey Notch and the company of the Tatler is obvious. And if
we consider that in the Spectator these personal types take the place
of the interests associated in the Tatler with each Coffee-housethat the gossip of the Grecian is in the Spectator the wisdom of
the Templar, and that of White's the opinions of Will. Honeycomb
-we are still further at issue with the antiquaries. The literary
intention of the Spectator is so manifest, that there is as little to be
gained by speculating on the possible models as by individualising
the earlier 'humours' of Jonson and Etheredge, or the later
sketches of the Novel of Character.
- In a tract of 1648 against a knight, Sir Hugh Caulverley, there
is reference to a tune called Roger of Caulverley (Ashton's Social
Life in the Reign of Queen Anne, ii. 268-9). It appears as Roger
of Coverly in the Second Part of the Dancing Master (1696), and
is referred to as a popular air in the Life of Robert Powel, the
Puppet-Showman (see note on p. 320).  It is called Roger de
Caubly in the 34th Tatler. The tune was later associated with
the country-dance, known since the days of the Spectator by that
name. Country-dances became fashionable in France during the
Regency (1715-23), under the name contre-danse, which has been
erroneously supposed to be the original form of the word. See
Budgell's references in No. 67; also No. 148.
- Soho Square, originally King Square, built in I68i, was still
a fashionable quarter for 'Lady Dainty' and her set (Taller, No.
37). See Shadwell's Plays, passim.
-John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester (1648-1680). His verses
on Nothing are referred to in No. 305, and his Imitations of Horace
are quoted in No. 9I. See the Advertisement in No. 87, A.
- Sir George Etheredge (1635?-1693?), author of the Comical




312               THE SPECTATOR
No. 2.    Revenge or Love in a Tub (see Nos. 44 and 127), She Would if
She Could (No. 51), and The Man of Mode or Sir Fopling Flutter
(No. 65).
PAGE 7. A duel. See p. 316.
- Bully Dawson is, on the authority of Oldys, received at second
hand, the model of Captain Hackumn, a 'Block-headed Bully,'
in Shadwell's Squire of Alsatia (1688).
The Treatise On the Sublime, by Longinus, had been edited by
Langbaine (I636), and Hudson (I71o), and translated by Hall (I662),
by Pulteney (i680), and anonymously (1690); but it was chiefly
through the French editions and translations, too numerous to mention, and notably the commentaries and translations of Boileau
(Englished in 1711) and Dacier, that Longinus affected critical
theory and literary practice in England. At the time of this paper,
Edmund Smith's translation, which Johnson praised so highly
(Lives, ii. 242), was in MS., and Welsted was preparing his
version for the press (1712). The reader will recall Swift's witty
lines on the cult of Longinus in his Rhapsody On Poetry.
- The Templar treats his father's wishes after the manner of
Young Maggot in Shadwell's True Widow (I. ii.).
PAGE 9. The Rose Tavern (cf. No. 36) was an actors' house in Brydges
Street, close to Drury Lane Theatre. It is referred to by Swift in
his Verses on the Death of Dr Swift, 1. 299, and frequently in Shadwell's plays (especially the Scowrers), as the scene of rowdy episodes;
and it is probably the scene of the third plate of Hogarth's Rake's
Progress.
- Captain Sentry is said to be, as hinted above, a sketch of
Colonel Kempenfelt, the father of the hero of the Royal George
(see Steele's reference to Colonel Camperfelt in 544).  Will.
Honeycomb has been explained to be a Colonel Cleland, who
seems to have had the amorous bent of his more notorious namesake, the ' biographer' of "Fanny Hill."  See the Diet. of Nat.
Biog., Pope's Works (passim), and Steele's Correspondence, ed.
Nichols, p. 358. The last volume of the Spectator is dedicated
to Will. Honeycomb.
No, 3, PAGE 12. Motto. Lucretius, iv. 962.
Addison's allegory refers to the financial crisis in party government after the Revolution.  The Whigs, supported by 'Sir
Andrew  Freeport' and his friends, represented  the monied
interests; the Tories, with 'Sir Roger,' upheld the landed
interests (cf. No. I74). It was the obvious policy of the former
to maintain that Public Credit (as expressed by the Bank of
England and the National Debt) would be imperilled if the Stuarts
gained the ascendant.  The 'young man of about twenty-two
years of age,' menacing the Act of Settlement, is James, son of
James II., whose probable policy of repudiation is signified by the
'spunge.' The third person, whom the dreamer 'had never seen,'
is the Elector of Hanover, who came to the throne in 1714. With
him is associated the Whig ' Toleration' ('Moderation leading in
Religion') which Locke had enunciated in 1689. Cf. the reference
to the 'Figure of Moderation' in the 257th Tatler. The happy








NOTES                             313
change from 'Heaps of Paper' to 'Pyramids of Guineas' finds its No, 3,
historical original in Montagu's scheme for the restoration of
the currency. One of the characters in Steele's allegory in the
48th Taller is 'Umbra, the Daemon or Genius of Credit.' The
Tory hatred of 'commodious gold' and 'blest paper credit'
has its full expression later in Pope's Third Epistle of the Moral
Essays. See also Pope's Imitations of Horace (Ep. I. i. 65-133),
his versified Satires of Donne, and Swift's Letter to Pope, Ioth
Jan. 1721.
PAGE 14. Rehearsal. The reference is to the scene in the last act,
where an Eclipse, Luna, Orbis, and Sol are introduced.
PAGE 15. Ovid, Metam. iii. 49I-3.
- Line 12. Homer, Odyssey, x. 19.
PAGE 15. Motto. Horace, Sat. II. vi. 58.                        No, 4,
PAGE I6. Jesuit.  See p. 293.
- Numquam se minus otiosum esse, quam quum otiosus, nec
minus solum, quam quum solus esset.-Cicero, De Officiis, III. i.
(cf. Rogers's Human Life (Aldine ed. p. I30), and Byron's Childe
Harold's Pilgrimage, III. xc.).  A fair proportion of the many
allusions to Cicero (which so embarrassed Simon Honeycomb)
refer to the De Officiis. Cookman's 'Tully's Offices in English,'
published by Buckley, reached a third edition in 17I4.
PAGE 18.  Young thing.  ' Blooming Beauty' in A.
PAGE 19. The Tatler in its opening number had likewise announced
its interest in feminine affairs. The Spectators polite attention to
the ladies prompted Swift to say, 'I will not meddle with the
Spectator.  Let him fair sex it to the world's end,' (Journal to
Stella, 8th Feb. I7II-2). Compare Addison's further plea in No.
o0, and Belvidera's letter in No. 205.    Addison's delicate
pleasantries on feminine foibles, in the Taller and Spectator, so
took the public fancy that they became the prevailing topics of the
humorous and light literature of his time. Much of the Rape of the
Lock, for example, is distinctly inspired by these witty sketches.
(See No. 69 n.). The 'Tea-Table' represented the domestic and
feminine interests in contrast to those associated with the ' Coffeehouse,' and references to this antithesis are numerous in the Spectator
and contemporary literature ("Here no Chit-Chat, here no TeaTables are."-Shadwell's Squire of Alsatia, Epilogue). Steele
wrote a short-lived paper called the Tea- Table (founded on I7th Dec.
1715), and another called Chit-Chat (6th March, 1716); and Allan
Ramsay, in I724, published his Tea-Table Miscellany. The TeaTable (36 Nos.) appeared in London in 1724.
PAGE 20. Motto. Horace, Ars Poet. 5.                            No, 5,
-Addison's papers on the Opera and dramatic mise en scene
generally emphasise the sentiments of the Tatler and anticipate the
criticism  of Pope (Dunciad, Bk. iii., and Epistle to Augustus).
They may have a personal interest in connection with the disaster
to Addison's opera of Rosamond in April I706. See No. i8, in
especial. The raillery of the Spectator recalls the jibes in SaintEvremond's Les Opdras.
- Nicolini. See Grimaldi, Nicolino, in B. I.








314        /      THE SPECTATOR
No, 5, PAGE 20. Addison illustrates his criticism of histrionic absurdities from
the opera of Rinaldo (see below), in which we have fire-spitting
dragons (I. v. vii.), a boat in an open sea (II. iii.), a 'real' waterfall (III. i.), and thunder and lightning (III. ii.). In his satire
on the introduction of living birds, he is referring to the stage direction in I. vi., where ' birds are heard to sing, and seen flying up and
down among the trees,' during the Flute symphony Augelletti
che cantate. See also No. 14, and the advertisement to No. 36.
PAGE 21. Sir Martin Mar-all, or the Feigned Innocence, a popular
comedy (first acted on I6th Aug. 1667), adapted by Dryden from
the Duke of Newcastle's translation of Moliere's L'Etourdi, and
from  Quinault's L'Amant Indiscret.  The reference is to the
first scene of the fifth act, where Sir Martin, after the conclusion
of the serenade to Mrs. Millisent, sung and played by his man
Warner in the next room, " continues fumbling, and gazing on his
mistress."  Whereupon she says-" A pretty humoured song.
But stay, methinks he plays and sings still, and yet we cannot
hear him. Play louder, Sir Martin, that we may have the fruits
on 't."
-The opera of Rinaldo, Handel's first venture on the English
stage, was produced at the Haymarket on 24th Feb. 1711, and ran
for fifteen nights.  The libretto, which is founded on a wellknown episode in Tasso's Gerutsalemme Liberata, was by Rossi, and
was translated by Aaron Hill: hence " the two Poets of different
Nations."  See No. 14. Addison refers to, and quotes from, the
English and Italian edition of the libretto published in 171I by
Thomas Howlatt.
PAGE 22. Hendel or -IHandel, the composer, incorrectly known as
Handel to later generations.  Aaron Hill writes Hendel in his
preface to Rinaldo. In the original issue Addison had given
Handel the Italian title of Seignior, which he corrected in an
erratum in the following number.
- Boileau, Sat. ix.
Tous les jours i la cour un sot de qualit6
Peut juger de travers avec impunit6;
A Malherbe, i Racan, pr6f6rer Th6ophile,
Et le clinquant du Tasse at tout l'or de Virgile.
See also L'Art Poetique, iii. 205, etc.; Rflyexions sur Longin,
ii. Addison makes a like comparison in Nos. 279 and 369.
PAGE 23.  Whittington and his Cat.  Cf. No. 14, which informs us
that Powell, the showman, had (probably on this hint from
Addison) set up Whittington against Rinaldo and Armida; also
Tatler No. 78.
- Christopher  Rich, manager of Drury Lane, the      'Kit
Crotchet' of No. 258, and the ' Divito' of the Tatler (Nos. 12, 42,
and 99). He was the father of ' Harlequin' Rich, the 'immortal
Rich' of the Dunciad (iii. 261). See B. I.
- London &o Wise, a famous firm of gardeners (see B. I.),
referred to at greater length in No. 477, and eulogised by
Evelyn in the Advertisement to his translation of Quintinye's
Compleat Gard'ner (I693). Their nursery at Brompton Park,






NOTES                          315
near Kensington, so impressed the author of Sylva Sylvarum, No, 5,
that he wrote, "I cannot therefore forbear to publish...
what we can and are able to perform in this part of Agriculture;
and have some Amcenities and advantages peculiar to our own,
which neither France, nor any other Country can attain to; and
is much due to the industry of Mr. London and Mr. Wise, and to
such as shall imitate their Laudable Undertakings." London and
Wise expounded their views in The Retir'd Garfdner (a translation of Sieur Louis Liger's book) in I7II, and gave a minute
description of Count Tallard's formal garden at Nottingham. See
the description of Leonora's garden in No. 37.  They made
fashionable the formal Dutch style, which in its later years of
excess was satirised by Pope in his 4th Moral Essay, (11. I 2, etc.).
Pope, too, 'twisted and twirled' (to borrow Horace Walpole's
phrase) his Twickenham Garden in direct protest to the formal
ideas of the earlier decades.  This later and contrary style,
practised by the gardeners Bridgeman and Kent, and applauded by
Walpole, gave to the Continent, through the Duke of Nivernois's
translation of Walpole's Essay on Modern Gardening, the jardin a
Panglaise. For information on orange-groves and orange-trees,
so frequently named in these papers, the reader is referred to
Evelyn's supplementary Treatise of Orange-trees, which deals
with this "Master-Piece of Gard'ning." An interesting copperplate of a formal garden introduces the Essay.  Cf. also Sir W.
Temple's description of the garden of Moor Parl(Miscellanea);
The Dutch Gardener: or the Compleat Florist, from the Dutch of
Henry Van Oosten " the Leiden Gardener," advertised in No. 32
(A); and Kip's plates in Atkyns's Gloucestershire (fol. I712).
PAGE 24. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. xiii. 54.                       No, 6,
PAGE 25. The words in italics are not, as Mr H. Morley has stated, a
resume of Blackmore's forthcoming poem on the Creation, but a
quotation (verbatim from three sentences) from the Preface to his
Prince Arthur (3rd Edit., 'corrected,' I696). Steele's approving
reference supplements the Tatler's quizzical apology for the
ridicule of the Advice to the Poets (Nos. 3, 14), and may be
considered as a puff preliminary to Sir Richard's 'philosophical
poem,' which Addison, prompted by stronger religious sympathies, praises in No. 339 of the Spectator. This critical favour,
and that shown by Dennis, and later by Johnson (Lives, iii. 74),
stand in marked contrast to the contempt entertained for 'Quack
Maurus' by Dryden, Swift, Pope, and Grub Street generally
-a contempt which may not be entirely explained by Blackmore's
attack on the coterie at Will's in his Satyr against Wit (1700).
Addison, if we believe Swift, heartily despised the man (Scott's
Swift, xii. 140).
PAGE 26. Budgell apologises for the coarseness of the Character of the
' Sloven ' from Theophrastus,-a coarseness " which the Politeness
of the present age would never have endured" (Characters of
Theophrastus, Pref.).
PAGE 27. Motto. Horace, Epist. II. ii. 207.                   No, 7,
PAGE 28. Childermas or Innocents' Day (28th Dec.) was, like Friday,




316              THE SPECTATOR
No, 7.    a 'cross day,' on which " it was impossible to have good luck,"
especially if work was attempted (cf. Swift, Directions to Servants:
The Cook). If the 'little boy' had comported himself according
to Strype (1720), he would have gone to 'Paul's Church' on that
day. Mr. Spectator's reflection on the losing of a day 'in every
week' is not clear. J. Rayner, the well-known writing-master at
Paul's School, published at this time, from his house at the sign
of the Hand and Pen, ' The Paul's Scholars Copy-Book, containing
the Round and Round-Text hands, with Alphabets at large of the
Greek and Hebrew, and Joyningjpieces of each....'
- Lord Galway was defeated at Almanza on 25th (I4th, O.S.)
April I707.
PAGE 28. Quitting. 'Cleaning.' A.
No, 8, PAGE 31. Motto. Virgil, AEn. i. 415.
- The Society for the Reformation of Manners (founded in
1690) was, in the words of antiquary Strype, " designed to controul
Looseness" and to punish those "distempering themselves by
excess of drink and breaking the Sabbath." It boasted, in the
report for 1708, of having made no less than 3299 prosecutions.
This number fell in I714 to 2571, and in I716 to 1820: which
decline is accepted as a proof that "a visible reformation hath
ensued," despite the opposition of the "advocates for Debauchery."
(See Strype's Stowe's Survey, 1720, II. v. 30.) Steele, in No. 3
of the Tatler, confesses his sympathy with the Society.
PAGE 32. The Masquerades, referred to again in Nos. 14, 22 (advt.),
and I58, had become a cause of scandal under the management
of the notorious Swiss Count Heidegger (q.v. B. I.). Hogarth
satirises these entertainments in his engravings, "Masquerades
and Operas " or the " Taste of the Town " (1724) and the " Large
Masquerade Ticket" (I727), and Fielding attacks them in his
Masquerade (1728). Pope alludes in the Dunciad to the 'strange
bird from Switzerland' (i. 290).  An advertisement in No. 53
announces that a Masquerade will be held "at the request of
several foreigners" on 1st May at Old Spring Garden.
- The Counter was a prison attached to a city Court.
PAGE 33. Waller, To Vandyck, 11. 5-8.
PAGE 34. Grand Cairo, ante, p. 3I.
- Mr. Spectator's humorous decision to visit the Masquerade
is in exact parallel with Mr. Bickerstaff's reply to the Petition of
the Linendrapers against low dresses. (Tatler, No. 215.)
No, 9, PAGE 34. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. xv. I63.
-Addison's description of the eccentric clubs (perhaps in part
mythical) will readily be compared with Goldsmith's humorous
sketches in his Essays (especially No. i) and in his Citizen of the
World (29, 30). The more fantastic of these clubs call to mind
the parallels in the Edinburgh of that day-the Easy, the Pious
(for pies, not piety), the Dirty, the Black-Wig, the Hell-Fire, the
Industrious, and many others.
PAGE 36. The Duellists. The subject of the Duello is discussed in
Nos. 84, 91, 97, 99, and more fully in the Tatler, Nos. 25, 26, 28,
29, 3I, 38, and 39, and in the Preface to the fourth volume of




I






NOTES                            317
the collected Tatters.  Steele returns to his criticism of it in the No, 9'
Guardian, and in The Lying Lover (v. i.).
PAGE 36. The Kit-Cat Club, founded in 1700, was composed of a
number of Whig peers and men-of-letters, who met weekly at the
house of one Christopher Kat, a pastry-cook in Shire Lane.
Christopher was an artist in mutton pies, and so tempted the
public palate that, says the Prologue to The Reformed Wife
(I700)'though the town all delicates afford,
'A Kit-Kat is a supper for a lord.'
Jacob Tonson primus, 'obstetrix Musarum,' acted as secretary, and
about I703 transferred the club to his villa at Barn-elms in Surrey.
In this house were hung the famous set of portraits of the members
by Kneller, which had been presented to Tonson by the sitters.
The membership of forty included the Whig leaders Halifax and
Somers, and Dryden, Vanburgh, Congreve, Addison, Garth, Steele,
and Walsh. Pope and Gay sometimes visited the club, and on one
occasion drank the health of Swift, who had set up the Tory Society
of Brothers as an antidote to the political influence of the Kit-Cat.
The verses written to be engraved on the 'toasting-glasses' are
perhaps the only literary records of the Club, but the literature of
the time is strewed with witty references to its proceedings. See,
in especial, Blackmore's verses on the Kit-Cat and the epigram (by
Pope?) in the Miscellanies of 1727 (Elwin and Courthope, iv. 446).
A handsome volume by Faber, entitled The Kit-Cat Club, done
from the original paintings of Sir Godfrey Kneller, was published
by Tonson in 1735. See Nichols. Anecd. i. 293 etc. The name
is preserved in the familiar size of canvas (36 in. by 28 in.), which
Tonson's space is said to have made Kneller's choice.
- The Beaf-Steak Club, the first of that name, met in a tavern
in Old Jewry, and had Dick Estcourt, the actor, for its providore
(see No. 264 etc., and B..). Cf. Dr. King's Art of Cookery" He that of honour, wit, and mirth partakes,
May be a fit companion o'er beef steaks.
His name may be to future times enrolled
In Estcourt's book, whose gridiron's made of gold."
Estcourt wore a small gold gridiron as the badge of his office.
-The October Club, the Tory rival of the Kit-Cat, met at the
Bell Tavern in King Street, Westminster, and drank to the confusion of Whig politics in October ale. See Swift's Advice to the
Members of the October Club.  The Secret History of the October
Club, by a member, was published in I7II (A. No. 45, advt.).
AGE 37.   Cf. Goldsmith's account of the laws of the club of Moral
Philosophers (Essays, I.). Ben Jonson's Leges Convivales were cut
in gold letters over the chimney of the Apollo Club room in the
old Devil Tavern at Temple Bar. The text is printed in Gifford's
Jonson, ix., and in Cunningham's, iii. 364. Addison again refers
to the Jonsonian code in No. 72. See also Tatter, No. 79.
AGE 38. Justus Lipsius, commentator and antiquary. His works
were published in three thick volumes in I675. His 'De ritu
conviviorum apud Romanos' will be found in vol. iii. p. I476.




318               THE SPECTATOR
No, 9, PAGE 38. Humdrum Club. Goldsmith refers to a Club of this name in
his Essays, i. "If he be phlegmatic, he may sit in silence at the
Humdrum Club in Ivy Lane."
No, 10, PAGE 38. Motto. Virgil, Georgics, i. 201.
- The circulation of the Spectator is said to have risen from
3000 to 4000, 20,000, and even to 30,000 copies.  10,000 copies
probably represented the average issue during the closing months
of the daily issue. See the particulars in Addisoniana in Hurd's
edit. vi. 688, and Drake's Essays, i. 82, iii. 326. To this musts
be added the sale in volume form, which up to the date of
the cessation of the daily issue amounted to 9ooo copies. (Nos.
227 (advt.), 283 (advt.), 488, and 555.)
- For the compound 'Tea-Equipage' cf. Tatler, No. 86.
-  Bacon, Advancement of Learning, ii. Introd. ~ 14.  Pope
uses the same simile, but more correctly, in the Essay on Man,
ii. I32.
PAGE 40. Muscovy and Poland.      This is a sly reference to the
'Upholsterer' of the Tatler, whose " crack towards politics" made
him "much more inquisitive to know what passed in Poland than in
his own family," and caused him to be concerned "by some news
he had lately read from  Muscovy" (Nos. I55, I60, and I78).
"Oh, I love Gazettes extreamly...," says Clodpate, in Shadwell's Epsom Wells, "they are such pretty penn'd Things; and I
do love to hear of Wisnowisky, Polosky, General Wrangle, and
Count Tot, and all those brave fellows" (I. i.).
-  The Female World. See No. 4 and note, and No. 205.
No, 11 PAGE 41. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. ii. 63.
PAGE 42.   The story of the Ephesian matron is first told in the
Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter (Paris ed. 1587, p. 64).  It
reappears in the Middle Ages in the popular Historia Septel
Sapientum (ed. G. Buchner, I889, p. 64).  La Fontaine's 'La
Matrone d'Ephese' was printed with the 12th Book of Fables
published by Barbin, Paris, 1694.
-  The Fable of the Lion and the Man is La Fontaine's 'Le
Lion abattu par l'Homme' (Fables, Bk. III. x.).
PAGE 43. 'A True and Exact History of the Island of Barbados
By Richard Ligon, Gent.' was published in folio, in I657
and in a second edition in I673.  Steele's reference applies to
either edition. Poor Yarico, who "for her love lost her liberty,'
is thus described-'An Indian woman, a slave in the house, whoc
was of excellent shape and colour, for it was a pure bright
bay; small breasts, with the niples of a porphyrie colour: thi!
woman would not be woo'd by any means to wear Cloaths:
'Inkle' does not appear in Ligon's book, and may have beet
satirically invented, as Mr Dobson suggests (Selections from Steek
p. 483), from the name of an inferior kind of tape. The word
here so suitably applied to such a haberdasher, will be found it
its ordinary sense on p. 176 (see note). Steele's interest in th
Barbadoes was more than literary, for he had inherited, in I7do
from his first wife, Mrs. Margaret Stretch, a plantation there, wort
~85o per annum.




NOTES                           319
PAGE 46. Motto. Persius, Sat. ii. 63.                         No, 12,
- The Daily Courant, printed by Sam. Buckley, 'the learned
printer' of the Gazette, the Monthly Register-and the Spectator.
Steele praises it in the 178th Tatler.
PAGE 49. This is the first hint in the Spectator of Addison's critical
interest in Paradise Lost (No. 262 onwards), of which he had
already shown a youthful appreciation in the Account of the
Greatest English Poets (1693).  The quotation is from  Book
iv. 675-688, and the reference is to i. 252-3 of Hesiod's Works
and DaysTrps ya&p pVpLOC EtLoLV Er.7L XOovl 'rrovXv1poTc'Cp
cOivaTLoL ZiVOs 4vXCaKES OvqrCVv avOpw'rrv.
Addison's admiration of Paradise Lost had been anticipated in
the Tatler (passim, espec. No. 237); and both authors may have
known Patrick Hume's Commentary, Lond. 1695.
PAGE 49. Motto. Martial, Epig. XII. xciii.                    No, 13,
-Hydaspes (L'Idaspe Fedele), an opera in three acts, was first
produced on 23rd May I7IO. The edition of the Italian-English
libretto (1712) contains a dedication by Nicolino Grimaldi (ante,
p. 20), who took the part of Hydaspes. He is thrown naked to a
lion and, after expostulation in the minor key, overcomes the stage
brute by the musical valour of the major.  (See Sutherland
Edwards, Hist. of the Opera, i. II7). There was ample opportunity for Nicolini to display his range of voice and his 'Italian
Tripps,' when the lion showed commendable spirit. Addison's
'exhortation' to English actors is on the lines of Steele's account
of Grimaldi in the II5th Tatler-' Our best Actors are somewhat
at a loss to support themselves with proper Gesture, as they
move from   any considerable Distance to the Front of the
Stage.'
PAGE 50. Recitative-See p. io6, n. Cf. Rehearsal, "I make 'em,
sirs, play the battle in recitativo " (v. i.).
PAGE 52. This is the earlier equestrian statue of Henri IV. on the
Pont Neuf.  It was erected in i635, and demolished and melted
into cannon in 1792.
PAGE 53. Motto. Ovid, Metam. iv. 590.                         No, 14,
-Fable of the Lion, etc., ante, p. 42.
PAGE 54. Addison in his College days had made merry in Latin
hexameters on ' Machinae Gesticulantes, anglice A Puppet-show'
(Hurd, I. 251), and Fielding, eighteen years after the writing of
this paper, complains " when the theatres are puppet-shows, and
the comedians ballad-singers; when fools lead the town, would a
man think to thrive by his wit" (The Author's Farce). It was
indeed, in the words of Charles Magnin, the historian of Marionettes, the golden age of puppets in England.
-Martin Powell had already (I709) supplied the Tatler with a
subject for satire (Nos. 44, 50, 77, and 1I5), and his continuedi
success as the leading puppet showman is further borne out by the
satirical attentions of the Spectator. He was then exhibiting in the
Piazza at Covent Garden, close by the site of the present Tavistock




320                THE SPECTATOR
No, 14,    Row, to the great hurt of the regular drama (cf. Hogarth's plate of
aJust View of the British Stage, I725). I-e wrote a number of
plays for his puppets, and established the traditions of action of
the modern 'Punch and Judy,' though his Punchinello retained
many of the characteristics of its Italian ancestry.  See the
engraving in Burnet's Second Tale of a Tub, or the History of
Robert Powel, the Puppet-Showman (I715). He is called simply
'Powell' or 'Mr. Powell' in the Tatler and Spectator: the name
' Robert' appears in Burnet's pamphlet, which was a satire on
Robert Harley, Earl of Oxford.  He must not be confounded with
his contemporary George Powell, the actor. (See B..)
-The Undertaker of the Masquerade is referred to ante, p. 316.
PAGE 55. Arcadia. See note, p. 329.
PAGE 56.  See the reference to the mise en scene of Rinaldo, ante,
p. 314.  Whitting~ton and his Cat, ib. Defoe in his Groans of
Great Britain, I713, gives Powell's advertisement of Whittington
(H. Morley's Spectator, 52 n.).
- Motion is the old word for either a puppet or a puppetshow.   Cf. Shaks. Wint. Tzle, IV. iii. I03, Two Gentlemen, II.
i. Ioo, etc.; Ben. Jonson, Barth. Fair, V. sc. i. and iii.
-Pig. Powell's repertoire included " the pleasant and comical
humours of Valentini, Nicolini, and the tuneful warbling pig of
Italian race." (Dedication to Burnet's pamphlet, mentioned
above.)
-Susanna was a favourite subject for puppet plays. Mr Henry
Morley quotes a copy of verses, dated 1665, describing these entertainments:Their Sights are so rich, is able to bewitch
The heart of a very fine man-a;
Here's Patient Grisel here, and Fair Rosamond there,
And the History of Susanna.
PAGE 57. Punch soon set himself up as a censor morum and gained no
little reputation as a political oracle. Perhaps his most successful
blow was levelled against the French Prophets of Moorfields.
Addison, in No. 34, threatens to reprimand the puppet-moralist
if he grow too extravagant. The Tatler had complained of the
attacks of the 'rake-hell' puppet.
-The original issue contains the following advertisement-'0n
the first of April will be performed at the Play-house in the Haymarket, an Opera cal'd The Cruelty of Atreus.  N.B.  The Scene
wherein Thyestes eats his own children, is to be performed by the
famous Mr. Psalmanazar, lately arrived from    Formosa: The
whole Supper being set to Kettle-drums."' This joke at the expense
of the notorious George Psalmanazar, the 'Formosan convert'
(I680-1763), was not reprinted till some time after Steele's death.
Swift introduces him in his Modest Proposalfor Preventing the
Children of Poor People in Irelandfrom being a Burden to their
Parents or Country (I729).
No, 15, PAGE 57. Motto. Ovid, Ars Amat. i. I59.
-This paper shows at many points a kinship with La Bruybre''
'Des Femmes' in the Caracteres (ch. iii.). See especially No. 77 -



NOTES                            321
La Bruy6re was a favourite also with the Tatler: e.g. the trans- No, 15,
cription in No. 57.
PAGE 60. zEneid, xi. 781-2.
PAGE 6I. Motto. Horace, Ep. I. i. I.                           No, 16,
- The muff was an ornament of the male fashionable. " Cibber
ingross'd the fops, the men of muffs, red heels and ribbons " (Orig.
Letters to Tatler, etc., I725). It was even one of the "shabby
superfluities" of the 'Upholsterer' (Tatler, No. 155).               I
- The Rainbow in Fleet Street, near the gate of the Inner
Temple, was established in 1656 by a barber, James Farr, who
carried on his double business for a time (H. Morley).
- Fringed Gloves. See Nos. 30 and 3II. Red heels and red
stockings were fashionable.  Cf. Tatler, No. II3. The 'rivers'
in No. 29 appeared in red stockings.
PAGE 62. Drawcansir, the hero of the Rehearsal, whose bombast is
intended as a parody of the extravagances of the character of
Almanzor in Dryden's Conquest of Granada.
PAGE 64. Motto. Juvenal x. I9I.                                 No, 17,
- Further disquisitions on 'Ugly Clubs' will be found in Nos.
32, 48, 52, 78, and 87.
PAGE 65. Paul Scarron (i6Io-I660), author of the Roman Conique,
married in 1652 Mlle. d'Aubigne, afterwards Madame de Maintenon.
He was deformed by rheumatism     from his 27th year.   His
pleasantries on himself are in the Preface to the Reader 'who
has never seen me,' prefixed to the 'Relation Veritable,'-" Les
autres [disent] que mon chapeau tient a une corde qui passe dans
une poulie, et que je le hausse et baisse pour saluer ceux qui me
visitent. Je pense etre oblige en conscience de les empgcher de
mentir plus longtemps, et c'est pour cela que j'ai fait faire la
planche que tu vois au commencement de mon livre... Mes
cuisses et mon corps en sont un autre, et ma tote se penchant sur
mon estomac, je ne ressemble pas mal A un Z."
- The Prince and Falstaff in Henry IV. II. iii. 235-240.
- Steele is quizzing at his own expense. The familiar portraits
by Kneller and Thornhill show the 'shortness of his face,' to
which there is constant reference throughout these Papers.
PAGE 66.-Grand Cairo, ante, p. 309.
PAGE 67. 2Esop's ugliness is described with realistic detail in his Life
by Maximus Planudes, and is referred to in the Life by La Fontaine,
prefixed to the Fables. The ill-favoured Thersites appears in the
second book of the Iliad. The deformities of Duns Scotus were
probably the exaggeration of his opponents the Thomists, and
through them became a tradition.  The personal appearance of
Hudibras is drawn in Pt. I. c. i. 1. 240 etc. 'The old Gentleman'
is Loyola in Oldham's Satyrs upon the Jesuits (III.).
- Mother Shipton's prophecies, first published in I641, were a
favourite chap-book subject.  See Ashton's Chap Books of the
I8th Cent. p. 88.
PAGE 68. Motto. Horace, Ep. II. i. I87.                        No, 18
- The English Opera of Arsinoe, Queen of Cyprus, partly a
translation from the Italian and partly an adaptation of a piece by
X




322               THE SPECTATOR
No, 18,    Peter Motteux, was produced at Drury Lane on I6th January I705.
The score was written by Thomas Clayton, whose musical incapacity, two years later, ruined Addison's Rosamond.  The
Spectator's italics, which may be compared with Cibber's statement
in the note to p. 149, recall the disaster. In concert advertisements in the Spectator, Clayton is described as " the author of
Arsinoe " (A).
PAGE 68.   Cf. 'Aujourd'hui ce qui ne vaut pas la peine d' etre dit on
le chante' in the later words of Beaumarchais (Le Mariage de
Figaro).  Boileau, speaking of Quinault's verses, had said,
" c'etait leur faiblesse meme qui les rendait d'autant plus propres
pour le musicien " (RIfexions sur Longin, II.).
PAGE 69. Camilla was the second opera in the Italian manner sung
in England. It was composed by Marco Antonio Buononcini,
and was produced at Drury Lane by subscription on 29th March
1706. It was sung half in English and half in Italian. Mrs.
Tofts, who had taken the leading part in Arsinoe, played 'Camilla'
in English, while Valentini, as the hero, sang in Italian.  (See
Sutherland Edwards, I. p. I09.) The libretto, supposed to be by
Owen MacSwiney, bears the imprint ' London I706.'
PAGE 71. Addison's friend Edmund Smith (ante, p. 312) produced
Phaedra and Hz'politus in I709,-"a consummate tragedy" excelling the Greek and Latin Phaedra and " the French one," says
Johnson (Lives, ii. 236).  It ran only four nights, even with
Betterton, Booth, Mrs. Barry, and Mrs. Oldfield in the cast.
Addison wrote the Prologue, in which he joined issue with the
lovers of Italian Opera. See Genest, II. 368-372.
- Plato, Republic, III.
No, 19, PAGE 71. Motto. Horace, Sat. I. iv. 17.
-Bacon, Essays, ix. (' Of Envy'), ~ I.
No, 20, PAGE 74. Motto. Homer, Iliad, I. 225.
-This is a companion paper to No. 145 of the Tatler, which
discusses these "professed Enemies to the Repose of the Fair
Sex." It may be compared with Nos. 22 and 262 of the Tatler,
and Nos. 46, 53, and 250 of the Spectator.
No, 21, PAGE 78. Motto. Horace, Ep. I. v. 28.
- Virgils army,,Eln. x. 432-3.
PAGE 79. Northern Hive.    "This part of Scythia, in its whole
northern extent, I take to have been the vast hive out of which
issued so mighty swarms of barbarous nations" etc. Temple's
Works (ed. 1754) ii. p. 273.
PAGE 80. A more elaborate hit at the Virtuosi had been made in the
Tatler (Nos. 216, 221), where Steele gave the will of Sir Nicholas
Gimcrack, whom Shadwell had introduced to the public in his
comedy The Virtuoso.
No, 22, PAGE 8I. Motto. Horace, Ars Poet. 188.
PAGE 82. The wild boar in Camilla (supra) is slain by a dart
thrown by the heroine, played by Mrs. Tofts (see B.I.). It is included in the humorous inventory of Theatre effects in No. 42 of
the Tatler.
- Lion in Hydaspes. See p. 319.




NOTES                          323
PAGE 82.  The Emperor of the Moon, a three-act farce, was an adap- No, 22,
tation by Mrs. Aphra Behn of a French Harlequin play, entitled
Harlequin liEmpereur dans le Monde de la Lune. It was produced
in 1687, and was often revived. (See below.)
-  The Fortune Hunters, or Two Fools Well Met, by James
Carlile, was first played at Drury Lane in I689. The reference is
to the farcical situation in Act II., where the inebriated Mr. Spruce
encounters'his wife's gallant by the pump in the garden and
mistakes an arm for a pump-handle. (See Genest, I. 473). It
was performed at the Haymarket on Ioth June and 3Ist Oct.
1707.
PAGE 83. The last line of Ralph Simple's letter refers to Act II. iii.
of the Emperor of the Moon, in which Scaramouch places a
company of masqueraders " all in the Hanging, in which they make
the Figures, where they stand without Motion in Postures."
Harlequin is "placed on a Tree in the Hangings," and the ambitious Simple hopes to pose by an orange tree in this fantastic
Tapestry. See the account in Genest, I. 457-8.
- Fletcher's Pilgrim, III. v.-"the interior of a madhouse."
Mr. Spectator's correspondent played the part of the English madman, who calls from his cell-" Give me some drink." The first
keeper interposes, " Oh, there's the Englishman," who thereupon
exclaims "Fill me a thousand pots, and froth 'em, froth 'em."
The piece had been recently played at the Haymarket on Ioth
Oct. 1710.
PAGE 84. 'Ass,'-' horse,' A.
- King Latinus is a character in the opera of Camilla (supra)
who speaks a number of lines in recitative in ii. o1, including
these given in the text. The unfortunate actor, who had been
sent off to the French War, is not named in the book of the play
(see No. 53). He is also the butt of the Tatler (see No. I45).
- The Advertisement satirises the Masquerade (ante, p. 32).
PAGE 85. Motto. Virg. /En. ix. 420.                           No, 23,
PAGE 86. Plato, Phcedo. ~ 40: Aristophanes, The Clouds.
- Catullus, Carmina, xxix.
- Claude Quillet's (Calvidii Leti) Calliptedia, in Latin verse
(Leyden 1655), contained a scoffing reference to Cardinal Mazarin's
Sicilian origin, iv. p. 48 (10-I3) and p. 50 (21-2), the latter as
follows:"Quid loquar ut blande Galla excipiatur in Aula
Advena, Trinacriis etiam devectus ab oris."
This was omitted in the second (i656) and later Paris editions.
Quillet's recompense was, as Addison says, a 'good abby' worth
400 pistoles. An English verse translation, conjoined with one
of St. Marthe's Paedotrophice, appeared on 5th May 171 (see
advt. in original issue).
PAGE 87. The statue of Pasquin in the Piazza di Pasquino by the Braschi
Palace in Rome, so-called from its having been found below the
stall of the satirical cobbler Pasquino, was a place dear to the
Roman populace for the publication of lampoons ('pasquinades,'




324               THE SPECTATOR
No, 23,    'pasquills') on public men and events (cf. No. 427).  Opposite
this idle corner stood the statue of Marforio, which, according to the
ready wit of the mob, conversed with its neighbour.  In this
lively play of question and answer on the pedestals of the statues
the public preserved the tradition of the libellous gossip of the
cobbler's booth.  Pope Sixtus V. had by his elevation brought
fortune and state to his sister Camilla, who, like the later Madame
Sans-Gene, had been a laundress.  Hence the joke about the
'dirty shirt.' For the historical evidences of this tale see Ranke's
Hist. of the Popes, III. ~ iv. and the notes in Mr T. Arnold's
Addison (Clar. Press) pp. 487-8.  Steele introduces Pasquin in
the Tatler, notably in Nos. 129, I40, and 187 (Letters from
Pasquin of Rome to Isaac Bickerstaff of Great Britain) and the
'Advertisement' to No. 130: and Fielding entitled one of his
minor pieces "Pasquin; a dramatick satire on the Times"
(1736).
PAGE 87. Pietro d'Arezzo (1492-1557), known as Aretino.
PAGE 88. Sir Roger L'Estrange's ' Fables of.Esop,' etc., 2nd Edition,
1694, p. 368.
-Easter Day in I711 fell on April I (Old Style) or April 5
(New Style).
No. 24, PAGE 88. Motto. Horace, Sat. I. ix. 3.
PAGE 89. 'Such Fellows,'-' these People,' A.
PAGE 90. Clinch of Barnet, showman, referred to in No. 31. See B. I.
PAGE 92. 'The Day I keep.' References to this new fashion are
plentiful in contemporary literature. Cf. 'Visiting Days' in the
Advt. on p. 134; also p. 303. " A well-bred Man would as soon
call upon a Lady (who keeps a Day) at Midnight, as on any Day
but that on which she professes being at home" (Tatler, No.
166).  Cf Shadwell's A   True Widow, III. i.   The Ladies
Visiting Day, a comedy attributed to Burnaby, from which Cibber
took material for his Double Gallant, was played in 170I (see
Genest, II. 241).
-  Kidney, the waiter at the St. James's Coffee-house (see
Tatler, passim).
No, 25, PAGE 92. Motto. Virgil,,En. xii. 46.
Mr. Spectator returns to his fun at the expense of the Valetudinarians in Nos. 143, 429, 440, and 573. See also No. ioo; and
Tatter, Nos. I6 and 77.
- Thomas Sydenham, the physician, wrote a treatise on Fevers
which appeared in Latin guise (Methodus Curandi Febres) in i666.
A brief account of his life was written by Dr. Sam. Johnson
(Boswell, ed. Hill, I. I53).
PAGE 93. Santorio (Sanctorius Sanctorius) of Padua (d. 1636) first
demonstrated the bearing of Perspiration in the 'animal economy'
in his De Medicina Statica Aphorismorum Sectiones vii. (8vo,
Venice, 1614). A reprint, with a Latin commentary by M. Lister,
was published in London in 1701, but it had been Englished by
'J. D.' as early as I676. It was again translated into English, in
1712, by John Quincy.  Cf. Young Maggot in Shadwell's True
Widow, who cures his fatness by "the exercise of the mind," and




I


NOTES                          325
has "an engine to weigh himself when he sits down to write No, 25,
or think."
PAGE 94. Stavo, etc. Addison probably borrowed this from Dryden.
It is given in the Dedication of the zEneis (Works, ed. Scott and
Saintsbury, xiv. I49). Mr. H. Morley says " the old English reading
is: 'I was well; I would be better; and here I am.'" Shakespeare's "Striving to better, oft we mar what's well" (King Lear, I.
i. 347) is much the same.
PAGE 95. Addison refers to a line in Martial's Epigrams, X. xlvii.Summum nec metuas diem nec optes,-a sentiment exactly expressed by Milton in Par. Lost, xi. 553.
PAGE 96. Motto. Horace, Odes, I. iv. 13.                      No, 26,
- rXavKov, etc.-Homer, Iliad, xvii. 216; Glaucumque, etc.Virgil, AEneid, vi. 483.
PAGE 97. Sir Cloudesley Shovel's monument stands in the south aisle
of the Choir of St. Paul's.
PAGE 98. Mr. Austin Dobson has well compared the concluding
paragraph with the well-known apostrophe to Death by Raleigh,
to show the difference in style between the eighteenth century and
the seventeenth (Eighteenth Century Essays, p. 260).
PAGE 99. Motto. Horace, Ep. I. i. 20.                         No, 27,
PAGE oo00. The 'Clergyman' is introduced in the second paper.
PAGE 102. Motto. Horace, Odes, II. x. 19.                     No, 28,
- In A. lines 5 and 6 read, 'It is as follows.'
- Cf with this paper No. I8 of the Tatller, where the supervision
of street signs is humorously proposed. The prevalence of signboards in London is a familiar feature of Hogarth's street-scenes.
The numbering of the doors in the streets was almost unknown.
Prescott Street, Goodman's Fields, is mentioned as being marked
by numbers in I708 (Halton's New View, quoted by H. Morley),
but the fashion did not set in till Parliament had, in 1762, condemned the swinging sign-boards as a public nuisance. In 1764
New Burlington Street was numbered in the modern way.
PAGE I04. The ingenious Mrs. Salmon's waxworks are referred to
again in Nos. 31 and 609, and are advertised in the Tatler of 30th
Nov. I7I0. She had just opened her new premises in Fleet Street
at the sign of the 'Golden Salmon.'
- The rebus of Abel Drugger's sign will be found in Ben Jonson's
Alchemist, II. i.
PAGE io6. Motto. Horace, Sat. I. x. 23.                       No, 29,
- Addison justly marks the contrast between Henry Purcell's
musical dramas and the Italian Operas.   It is nevertheless
interesting to note that in Purcell's first opera (the Dido and
rEneas of Nahum Tate), composed at the age of 17, all the
dialogue is recitative, not spoken (Grove, Dict. of Music, III. 46.)
Purcell had died in Nov. 1695, aged 36.
PAGE I07.   Dyingfall-" That strain again! it had a dying fall"Twelfth Night, I. i. 4.
PAGE io8.   Jean Baptiste Lulli (1633-1687), surintendant de la
musique to Louis XIV., set himself, as Addison says, to add the
grace and modulation of the Italian Opera to the national music




326               THE SPECTATOR
No, 29,    of his adopted country. He wrote twenty operas, one of which,
Proserpine, in five acts (produced Nov. I9, I68o) is referred to
by Addison in the next paragraph. An account of Lulli will be
found in Grove, II. I72, and Sutherland Edwards, I. passim.
Is the ' lulling softness' (p. I07) a pun?
PAGE I09. Ist par. Cf. p. 57, 2nd par.
-Red stockings. See note on p. 321.
-An advertisement in the original issue informs readers that
they can have 'Compleat setts' of the Spectator for March.
Other monthly parts followed.
No, 30, PAGE 109. Motto. Horace, Ep. I. vi. 65.
PAGE I IO.  For other references to the modish Fringe-Glove see
note on p. 321.
PAGE II2. Duelling. Ante, p. 316.
-The line is from Martial, Epigrams, I. 71.  'Naevia' is
generally read 'Laevia.'
No, 3L PAGE I 13  Motto. Virgil, JEn. vi. 266.
-  The Dancing Monkies, ante, p. 105; the Lions, ante,
p. 49.
-  The popular Rival Queens or Alexander the Great, by Nat
Lee (see No. 92) had been burlesqued at the Haymarket (29th
June I7I0) by Colley Cibber, with Bullock as Roxana, and Bullock
Junior as Statira (Genest, II. 455).
- Duncan Campbell, the 'dumb conjuror,' referred to in Nos.
323 and 474. See B. I.
PAGE 114. Clench or Clinch of Barnet, ante, p. 90.
- Mrs. Salmon, ante, p. I04 and note.
- Quintus Curtius, IX. i. 3I-33.
- Hockley-in-the-Hole, now Ray Street (formerly Rag Street),
near Clerkenwell Green, was in great repute with the mob for its
bear-baiting and prize-fights. In No. 436 Steele refers to it as
a "Place of no small Renown for the Gallantry of the lower
Order of Britons," and describes an encounter there between
"two Masters of the Noble Science of Defence"; and the writer
of No. 630 alludes to "the Gladiators of Hockley in the Hole."
Cf. Tatler, No. 28, ".. till oblig'd to leave the Bear-garden
on the Right, to avoid being borne down by Fencers, Wild Bulls
and Monsters, too terrible for the Encounter of any Heroes, but
such whose Lives are their Livelihood;" also Dunciad, i. 326,
the Beggars' Opera, i., and Johnson's Letters, ii. 30. Jonathan
Wild was son-in-law of " Scragg Hollow, of Hockley in the Hole,
Esq." (Jon. Wild, I. ii.).
- William Pinkethman, comedian and showman, is referred to
in Nos. 36, 370, 455, 502, 539 (see B. I.). In No. 44, and in subsequent sheets at intervals, appears the following advertisement"Mr. Penkethman's Wonderful Invention call'd the Pantheon: or,
the Temple of the Heathen Gods. The work of several years, and
great Expense, is now perfected; being a most surprising and
magnificent Machine, consisting of 5 several curious Pictures, the
Painting and contrivance whereof is beyond expression admirable.
The Figures, which are above Ioo, and move their Heads, Legs,




NOTES                           327
Arms, and Fingers, so exactly to what they perform, and setting No, 31,
one Foot before another, like living Creatures, that it justly deserves
to be esteem'd the greatest Wonder of the Age.... In the Little
Piazza, Covent Garden, in the same House where Punch's Opera
is...."
PAGE 114. Pope satirises the popular liking for " spectacle" in Imit.
of Hor. Ep. II. i. and there refers to the " bear or elephant."
- Powell, the actor. See B. I.
PAGE 115.   The German Artist.    The Tatler gives a would-be
account of a Waxwork of the Religions of Great Britain, exhibited
by a German Artist (No. 257).  Shadwell in Bury-Fair makes
fun of German jugglers.
- Lawrence, the actor. See B. I.
PAGE II6. The satire is directed against IHeidegger (ante, p. 316).
PAGE I I6. Motto. Horace, Sat. I. v. 64.                       No, 32,
- Ugly Club, ante, p. 66.
- Alexander the Great's wry neck.  Cf Tatler, No. 77.
PAGE I I9. 'Eighty Eight' (I688), an allusion to William III., who
had, in Burnet's words, "a Roman Eagle Nose."
PAGE I20.  The frontispiece of the third edition of Dryden'sJuvenal
and Persius (1702) represents Apollo giving the mask of Satire
to Juvenal. The first edition, 1693, is without ' Sculptures.'
- Larati, in the primary sense, 'bewitched.' Larva-a ghost;
then a mask.
PAGE 120. Motto. Horace, Odes, I. xxx. 5.                       No, 33,
PAGE 122. Saint-Evremond's Essays were done into English in I694
by Brown.    The sentiment will be found in the section of
vol. II. "Of the Pleasure that Women take in their Beauty."
Saint-Evremoniana was published in I710.
PAGE 123. Porcelain C/ay"Ay; these look like the workmanship of heaven;
This is the porcelain clay of humankind,
And therefore cast into these noble moulds."
-Don Sebastian, I. i.
- Kneller's-See the letter in No. 555.
PAGE 124.    Par. Lost. viii. 488-9.  More correctly "in every
gesture."
- From Ben Jonson's 'Epitaph on Elizabeth, L. H.' (Epigrams,
cxxiv.). Steele's memory is out: it runs" Underneath this stone doth lie
As much beauty as could die*:
Which in life did harbour give
To more virtue than doth live."
- Who is R. B.? Chalmers suggests John Hughes (B. I.)
as the author of it and one in No. 53. May not this be the
moral vein of Richard Blackmore?
PAGE 125. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. xv. 159.                        No, 34,
- For the first and last paragraphs of this paper see note on p. 3 I.
- The Roman Triumvirate. Cf. Shakespeare, Julius Caesar,
IV. i.
- Punch.   See notes on p. 320.




328                THE SPECTATOR
No, 35, PAGE I28. Motto, Catull. Carm., xxxix. I6; erroneously ascribed to
Martial in the original.
PAGE I29. 'Window-breaking' and 'scowring,' as the humour of the
'gay empty sparks,' are frequent topics in Shadwell's Plays. See
e.g. The Woman-Captain, The Squire of Alsatia, The Scowrers
passim.  In the Fiddler's Song in his Epsom Wells he speaks of
"The cheats of the City,
The rattling of coaches,
And the Noise of the Men they call Witty!"
The Tatler describes the breaking of windows with halfpence as
"a generous Piece of Wit" (No. 77).
- Cowley's Ode, Of Wit (ed. Grosart, I. I35-6), in which these
lines occur in the 7th stanza"What is it then, which like the Power Divine
We only can by Negatives define? "
PAGE 130. Line 6, 'are several imposters' A.; line, Io 'Counterfeits,' A.
PAGE I3I. Last paragraph. See note to p. 125.
No, 36, PAGE 132. Motto. Virgil,,En. iii. 583.
- April the 9th must be intended: the letter refers to No. 31
(p. I 3).
- The Hangings, ante, p. 82 and note; The Rose Tavern, p. 9;
Make love, etc., cf. p. I56; King Porus, p. II4; Mr. Penkethman,
ib.; Oracle of Delphos, ib.; Hercules, etc., p. I03.
PAGE 133. ' T. D.' may stand for Thomas Doggett (see B. I.).
-  The Rehearsal, I. i.
Enter Thunder and Lightning.
Thun.-I am the bold Thunder.
Bayes.-Mr Cartwright, prithee speak that a little louder, and with a
hoarse voice. I am the bold Thunder: pshaw! speak it me in a voice that
thunders it out indeed: I am the bold Thunder.
Thun.-I am the bold Thunder.
The Rehearsal was played at the Haymarket on I8th Nov. 1709,
with Johnson in the part of Thunder, and at Drury Lane on 29th
Jan. 1711, with Johnson in the same part and Miss Younger as
Lightning.
- The nom-de-guerre 'Salmoneus' is happily chosen, for the son of
AEolus had imitated lightning, and had been hurled to the nether
world by a thunderbolt from Jove. See Dryden's,Eneis, VI. 787.
PAGE 134. Chr. Rich., ante, p. 314.
- William Bullock, see B. I. At Pinkethman's Summer Theatre
at Greenwich, the Rival Queens had been played on 6th July
1710, with Powell as Alexander, and BullockJunior as Hephestion.
On 7th April 1711, Bullock had appeared as Sir Bookish Outside,
and Pinkethman as Tipple, a servant, in Injured Love, a new play
by an anonymous author (see Genest, II. 478).
- Visiting days-ante, p. 324.
PAGE I35.-Enchanted Woods-ante, Nos. 5 and 14.
- Card-matches, matches made of card dipped in sulphur. The
cry of the vendors is referred to in No. 251, and in the Taller, No. 4.
No. 37. PAGE I35. Motto. Virgil, /En. vii. 805.
PAGES 136-7. John Ogilby, who is satirised in Mac-Flecknoe and The




NOTES                           329
Dunciad, published two translations of Virgil, one in 1649, the No, 37,
other in I654. The I684 edition of the second had "such excellent
sculptures; and (what added great grace to his works) he printed
them all on special good paper, and in a very good letter" (note
to Dunciad, i. I4I). Dryden's Juvenal (ante p. 120 and note)
first appeared in 1693.
Cassandra, by La Calprenede (1642, I0 vols.), was translated
by Charles Cotterell (fol. Lond. 1676), and "By several Hands"
(3 vols. 8vo, Lond. 1703); Cleopatra, by the same (I647-63, 10
vols.), by Robert Loveday (vols. i.-vi.), John Coles (vii.), James
Webbe (viii.), and J. Davies (ix.-xii.), from I652 to I665, and in
a two-volume folio edit. in 1674; Astraca, by Honore D'Urf6
(1616-20), by a 'Person of Quality,' with the Preface signed J. D.
(3 vols. I657); Artamene or The Grand Cyrus, by Madame de
Scuderi (I649-53, 10 vols.), by 'F. G.' in 5 fol. vols.; and Clelia,
by the same (I656-60, Io vols.), in five parts by John Davies
(i.-iii.), and by G. Havers (iv.-v.) 1656-61.  It is difficult to
over-rate the popularity, especially with the ladies, of these 'vast
French Romances' for the most part in folio size (Cf. Dunciad,
ii. 38). In Steele's Tender Husband (I. i.) Captain Clerimont
says knowingly-" Cassandra, Astrawa, and Clelia are my intimate
acquaintance,"-in reply to the warning that the young lady "has
spent all her solitude in reading romances" and has her head "full
of shepherds, knights, flowery meads, groves, and streams." So,
too, Tatler Nos. 75 and I39. Many of the most popular English
plays were derived from them (see the list in Ward's Eng. Dram.
Lit., ii. 469 n.). The thirteenth edition of Pembroke's Arcadia
(ante, p. 55), appeared in 1674. This romance is studied by
Lettice, 'by a small candle,' in Steele's Lying Lover (IV. ii.)" the faithful Argalus was renowned all over the plains of ArcaArca-Arcadia-for his loyal and true affection to his charming
paramour, Parthenia."
Of the works of Newton, Locke (note the pun, destroyed in H.
Morley's text), Temple, and Taylor, nothing need be said. The
Dictionary may refer to Glossographia Anglicana Nova; or a
Dictionary interpreting such hard words of whatever language as
are atpresent used in the English Tongue (Lond. I707). Sherlock's
Practical Discourses concerning Death, which passed through
many editions is referred to in No. 289.  The Fifteen Comforts
of Matrimony, an English version, published anonymously in
1682, of the popular fifteenth century Quinze Joies de mariage,
was the first of a series of books of its kind.  Its antidote,
The Fifteen Comforts of Real Matrimony, appeared in 1683;
and The Fifteen Comforts of Rash and Inconsiderate Marriage, 4th
edit. in 1694, and another in I706, and the Fifteen Comforts of
Cuckoldom in I706.   Malebranche's Recherche de la Veritd was
Englished by Thomas Taylor in 1694, and by R. Sault in the same
year. (See No. 94.) There was a number of editions of The Academy
of Compliments. Two appeared before 1713, viz.: The Academy of
Compliments, or a new way of Wooing.  (Lond. i685, 8vo), and
The Compleat Academy of Compliments, containing choice sentences




330               THE SPECTATOR
No. 37... (Lond. I705, I2mo). Nicolas Culpepper's Compleat Midwife's
Practice, appeared in an 'enlarged edition' in 1663, and again in
1698, and his Directory for Midwives in 1651 and 1693. The
Ladies Calling, By the Author of the Whole Duty of Man, was
a popular octavo, of which the 7th edition was published at Oxford
in I700. Abigail, in Shadwell's Scowrers, praises it as one of
'" these godly Books [which] quiet the Conscience mightily " (I. i.).
Thomas Durfey, 'that ancient Lyrick' of the Tatler (No. 214),
published, among other pieces, Tales Tragical and Comical, in
verse, in 1704. It may add point to the satire to quote Pope
(Letters, ioth April I7o0) —"Any man of any quality is heartily
welcome to the best toping-table of our gentry who can roundly
hum out some fragment or rhapsodies of his works."   Baker's
Chronicle of the Kings of England, printed in 1643, and in a ninth
edition in 1696, is mentioned in No. 269 as always to be found on
Sir Rogers's Hall-window (cf. also Tatler, No. 264).  The Advice
to a Daughter may be the translation of Fenelon's Traitd de
l'gducation des filles, referred to in No. 95.  Secret Memoirs
and Manners of Several Persons of Quality of both Sexes from
the New Atalantis... appeared in 1709 from the pen of
the notorious Mary Manley. A second edition, in 2 vols., was
published in I709; and her Court Intrigues in 1711.     The
'Key' may be supposed to be in MS., like the one, noted
by Mr. Thomas Arnold, in the Rawlinson Collection in the
Bodleian Library (Addison, p. 496). References will be found in
The Tatler, No. 243, and Pope's Rape of the Lock, line I65.
Steele's Christian Hero was published in 170I.  The Speech of
Henry Sacheverell D.D. upon his Impeachment.. is a small
folio of io pages (Lond. I7I0); see infra, p. 214. Of the Trial of
Robert ('Handsome') Fielding for "having two wives," three
different short accounts appeared in I706; but the reference is
probably to The Arraignment, Tryal and Conviction, published
in 1708. Seneca's Morals, by Sir Roger L'Estrange, appeared in a
seventh edition in 1699, and in a tenth in 1711. La Ferte's Instructions may not refer to a book, though there appeared in I696
a Second Part of the Dancing Master [1652], or Directions for
Country Dances.   Mr. Ferte advertises his school in Compton
Street, Soho, in No. 52 and later numbers of the Spectator.
PAGE 137. Hungary Water was a popular compound of spirits of wine,
lavender, and rosemary, which was used as a cure-all as well as a
restorative perfume.  It was applied for a squirrel bite (Tatler,
266); Swift rubbed his rheumatic shoulder with it (. to Stella,
March 29, 1712); and Mr Bickerstaff grouped it as a necessary
with tea and snuff (Tatler, No. 125). For its more frivolous use
see Tatler (No. 245).-" A spunge dipped in Hungary Water left
but the Night before by a young Lady going upon a Frolick Incog."
PAGE I39. Addison makes good in No. 92 his promise to discuss the
equipment of a Lady's Library. See also p. 301. The Tatler,
in No. 248, had introduced the consideration of a 'Female
Library.' In I7I4 Steele published, or gave his name to, The
Ladies Library (3 vols. I2mo), in the preface of which he wrote,




NOTES                            331
"The Reader is to understand that the Papers which compose No, 37,
the following volumes came into my hands upon the frequent
mention in the Spectator of a Ladies Library." The volumes
deal not with books but with topics as Employment, Dress,
Chastity, and Charity, "supposed to be collected out of the
several writings of our greatest Divines."
PAGE I39. Motto. Martial, Epzg. VI. xxix. 8.                   No, 38,
-Dr. Thomas Burnet's Telluris Theoria Sacra appeared in
translation in 1690. Its thesis, that the primitive records might
be interpreted allegorically, was opposed by Whiston in 1696
in his New Theory of the Earth, which maintained that they
were " perfectly agreeable to religion and philosophy." See Leslie
Stephen's English Thought in the i8th Cent. I. ii.
PAGE 142. Line 6. Lord Cowper (H. Morley).
PAGE 143. Motto. Horace, Ep. II. ii. 102.                      No, 39,
- Tragedy is the noblest, etc. Addison here follows Aristotle
(Poetics, xxvi.) in defiance of Dryden (Dedication of the eneis) and
the French critics, notably Chapelain, Rapin, and Le Bossu.
- Seneca, De Providentia, ~ 2.
- Aristotle observes. Poetics, iv. (Vahlen, p. 12) and Rhetoric
iii. I.  The question of Iambic and Blank Verse had been
already discussed by Dryden in his Essay of Dramatic Poesy,
XV., pp. 359, 364, and 369; that of Plays in Rhyme, ib. p. 355
onwards; that of the Hemistich, the Pauses, and "Variety of
Cadences," as Dryden has it, ib. pp. 363, 371, and 372.
Addison probably had in mind the closing speeches of the
third act of Dryden's (Edipus, which illustrates all the points
of his thesis. He quotes a portion in his next paper.
PAGE 145.  Turning into prose.  Cf. Boileau, Reflexions sur Longin,
XI. ~ I.
-  Aristotle's 'observation' is reproduced in Horace, Ars
Poetica, 11. 95-98.
- Nathaniel Lee (I650-I690). His popular play of The Rival
Queens or the Death of Alexander the Great (1677) has been referred to, p. 326. He collaborated with Dryden in CEdipus (1679).
Dryden's Fifth Epistle is addressed to 'Mr. Lee, on his tragedy
of the Rival Queens.'
PAGE 146.  Thomas Otway (I65I-I685).   Venice Preserved or A Plot
Discovered was first acted at the Duke's Theatre in 1682.
-  Si pro patria, etc.  Ann. Florus, IV. i. Cf. Ben Jonson's
Catiline, V. vi.
PAGE I47. Motto. Horace, Ep. II. i. 208.                        No, 40,
- Poetical Justice. This paper was, according to Pope, the
occasion of John Dennis's "deplorable frenzy" in Lintot's bookshop on 27th Mar. I712. "Opening one of the volumes of the
Spectator, in large paper, [he] did suddenly, without the least provocation, tear out that of No. -, where the author treats of poetical
justice, and cast it into the street" (Narr. of Dr. Rob. Norris, Pope's
Works, X. 459).
- Aristotle. Poetics, XIII.
PAGE 148.  The Orphan or the Unhappy Marriage, by Otway (I680);




332                THE SPECTATOR
No, 40,     Venice Preserved, ante, No. 39; Alexander the Great (ib.);
Theodosius or the Force of Love, by Nat Lee, drawn from the
Romance of Pharamond (I680); All for Love or the World Well
Lost, by Dryden (1678) a transcript of Shakespeare's Antony and
Cleopatra; Oroonoko, by Thomas Southerne (I696), founded on
Mrs. Aphra Behn's novel of that name.
PAGE I48. King Lear, 'as Shakespeare wrote it,' had been acted at
Lincoln's Inn Fields Theatre between 1662 and 1665. Since
1681 Nahum Tate's wretched adaptation had held the stage.!
- The MourningBride, Congreve's only tragedy ( 697); Tamerlane, by Rowe (1702); Ulysses, by the same (I705); Phcdra and
Hippolitus (ante, p. 322).
- Tragi- Comedy. Sidney, in his Apologie for Poetrie, denounces
"the mingling Kings and Clownes" in "mungrell TragyComedie," and adds "I knowe the Auncients have one or two
examples of Tragy-comedies, as Plautus hath Amphitrio.  But if
we marke them well, we shall find that they never, or very daintily,
match Horn-pypes and Funeralls" (p. 54, ed. Shuckburgh). He
had previously argued, rather inconsistently, " if severed they be
good, the coniunction cannot be hurtfull" (p. 28). Whetstone's
Dedication of Promos and Cassandra, 1578 (which may have preceded the Apologie by two or three years) alludes to this " indiscreet working" of the English drama, and Hall, in his Satires, I.
1597, refers to the 'goodly hoch-poch.' Cf. Dryden, Dedications
to the Spanish Friar (vi. 4o0), Love Triumphant (viii. 376), and the
Rival Ladies, but especially the Essay of Dramatic Poesy, which
directly suggests the passage in the Spectator.  " There is no
theatre in the world," says Lisideius, "has anything so absurd as
the English tragi-comedy; 'tis a drama of our own invention, and
the fashion of it is enough to proclaim it so" (XV. pp. 317
and 321). "I cannot but conclude, to the honour of our nation,"
replies Neander (i.e. Dryden) "that we have invented, increased,
and perfected a more pleasant way of writing for the stage, than was
ever known to the ancients or moderns of any nation, which is tragicomedy" (p. 332). We cannot here discuss the justice of the English
claim to have inaugurated a form, which appears in France in Garnier's Bradamante (I 580), an adaptation from Ariosto, and is known
in Spain as early as 1492, in the Celestina of Fernando de Rojas.
- For the Double Plot and Under Plot see also the dialogue
between Lisideius and Neander in Dryden's Essay of Dramatic
Poesy; also the Preface to Cleomenes and to Love Triumphant.
PAGE 149. Rants. Cf. Colley Cibber's remarks on the Rival Queens
(Apology, p. 89). "When these flowing Numbers come from the
Mouth of a Betterton, the Multitude no more desired Sense to
them, than our musical Connoisseurs think it essential in the
celebrated Airs of the Italian Opera."
- George Powell, the actor. See B. L.
PAGE I50.-(a) (Edipus, III. i. Scott and Saintsbury's edition reads,
(2) virtues, crimes, (3) If wandering in the maze of fate I run, (4)
the paths: (b) ib. IV. i. —(4) pondr'ous earth, (5) hands. The
third act was written by Dryden; the fourth by Lee.




NOTES                           333
PAGE 150. Dryden's Conquest of Mexico (Powell's benefit piece) is No, 40,
advertised in the next number by its first and better known title
of the Indian Emperor.
PAGE I51. Motto. Ovid, Metant. i. 653. The usualreading is with- No, 41,
out 'es,' but the Codex Harl. and other MSS. preserve it (see
Robinson Ellis, Anecd. Oxon. Class. Ser. i. pt. 5).
- Ben Jonson's Epiccne or The Silent Woman, V. i.
Cut. The first is impedimentum erroris.
Ott. Of which there are several species.
Cut. Ay, as errorfiersone.
Ott. If you contract yourself to one person, thinking her another.
PAGE 153. Cowley's 'The Wayting Maid,' in the Mistress, 4th
Stanza.
- "The exact manner of Lindamira."- Taller, No. 9.
PAGE 154. Donne's Anatomy of the World (The Second Anniversary),
11. 244-6.-' That one might almost say.'
PAGE 154. Motto. Horace, Ep. II. i. 202.                        No 42
- Aristotle's Poetics, chap. xiv.
PAGE 156. Cf. Sidney's Apologie for Poetrie-'two Armies flye in,
represented with foure swords and bucklers' (p. 52, ed. Shuckburgh); Shakespeare's Henry Fifth-' with four or five most
vile and ragged foils,' etc. (iv. Prol. 1. 50 et seq.); Ben Jonson's
Every Man in his Humour —'with three rusty swords,' etc.
(Prol. 9 et seq.) See also The Rehearsal, V. i.
- Horace, Ars Poet. I82-4.
PAGE I57. The additional notion of Admiration appears in Sidney's
Apologie.-" Tragedy... that with stirring the affects of admiration and commiseration teacheth the uncertainety of this world"
(p. 3I).  Boileau, in the famous letter to Ch. Perrault (I700),
writes —" Corneille n' a point songe...  emouvir la pitie et la
terreur, mais a exciter... une certaine admiration," and refers
to this as " un nouveau genre de tragtdie."
PAGE I57. Motto. Virgil,,En. vi. 854.                          No, 43,
PAGES I58-9.  The formula, which granted unlimited authority to
the consuls, included these words —'ne quid respublica detrimenti capiat.'  Mr. H. Morley is wrong in thinking that
Abraham Froth's Act 'for importing French Wines' is a muddleheaded reference to the Methuen Treaty of 1703, which favoured
Port at the expense of Claret. An Act was passed in 17Ii for
the importation of French wine. See Burnet's reflections upon it
(Hist. of His Own Time, II. 565-6). The 'Northern Prince' is
Charles XII. of Sweden, and the references are to the campaign
with the Czar Peter.  Palmquist may be, as Mr. H. Morley
suggests, the 'Hebdomadal Meeting' variant for Count Poniatowski. The ' Neutrality Army' may refer to England, Germany,
and Holland, which were signatories to a treaty of neutrality
after Pultowa.
PAGE I59. Dyer's News-Letter (cf. Nos. 127 and 457), published
by John Dyer, was discontinued on his death in Sept. 1713.
PAGE 160.   The British Princes: An Heroick Poem, by Edward




334                THE SPECTATOR
No, 43,     Ioward, one of the butts of the Rehearsal, was ridiculed by
Rochester and by Sprat.   It was the latter who called it an
"Incomparable, incomprehensible Poem." Mr. H. Morley quotes
Howard's lines," A vest as admir'd Vortager had on
Which from this Island's foes his Grandsire won,"
Edward King took it upon him to defend the burlesque
couplet as sober sense (Munimenta Antiqua, III. I86).
No, 44, PAGE I6I. Motto.   Horace, Ars Poet. I53.
- In the 5th Act of Otway's Venice Preserv'd (1682), where,
during the scene between Jaffeir and Belvidera, the 'Passing
bell' tolls for Pierre.
PAGE 162. Hamlet, I. iv. 38-54 (2nd, or later, Folio).
PAGE I63.   "Les Anglois nos voisins aiment le sang, dans leurs jeux,
par la qualite de leur temperament, ce sont des insulaires, separes
du reste des hommes: nous sommes plus humains...       Les
peuples, qui paroissent avoir plus de genie pour la Tragedie de
tous nos voisins, sont les Anglois, par l'esprit de leur nation
qui se plaist aux choses atroces, et par le caracthre de leur langue
qui est propre aux grandes expressions.-Rend Rapin's Refjxians
sur la Podtique d'Aristote, etc. 1674, pp. I83, 20I.  The same
reference occurs in the I34th Tatler. Le Vavasseur controverts.
Rapin's statement about "grandes expressions" in his Remarques
sur les nouvelles Reeflxions. Paris 1675, p. II7. See note to p.
235.
- Corneille's Horace (I640).
PAGE 164. Sophocles, Electra. See the Remarks in Roscommon,
at the passage referred to below.
PAGE 165. Horace, Ars Poet. 185. The second version of the Latin
and English is as in Roscommon, but with the second line (' And
spill' etc.), given in the first quotation, omitted.
- Bullock: Norris.   See B. I.
- Etheredge's Comical Revenge, or Love in a Tub, was played
at Lincoln's Inn Fields in I664.
No, 45, PAGE I66. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. iii. Ioo.
- Shadwell, in A True Widow (I. i. passim), jests at ' French
Fopperies.'
PAGE I67.   Visits in their beds. The ruelle du lit is originally the
narrow passage on either side of the bed, but under Louis XIV.
it came to signify the bedrooms or boudoirs of fashionable ladies,
where morning conversation, generally of the prgcieux tone, was
held with their visitors. Cf. Moliere, Les Prdcieuses ridicules,
Ecole des femmes; Boileau, Sat. xii.; and the humorous anecdote
in Menagiana, II. 334.   Hence the phrases, courir les ruelles,
homme de ruelle (Spectator, No. 530).  Cf Dryden, Dedication of
the AEneis, p. I39, and Pope, Rape of the Lock, III. I66.
PAGE I68. L. 21. A translation of dveill.
- Macbeth (Davenant's version) was acted at the Haymarket on
27th Dec. I707. Betterton played Macbeth; and Norris, Bullock,
and Bowen the Witches. The reference to Balloon is obscure.




NOTES                           335
PAGE I70. Motto. Ovid, Metam. I. i. 9.                         No, 46,
- Edward Lloyd's Coffee-House, originally in Tower Street,
from which it was removed in 1692 to Lombard Street, was a wellknown house for wine-sales (see advts. A) and ship-broking business.
It attracted customers from John's in Birchin Lane, and even from
Garraway's, and acquired a reputation with merchant shippers
which is now historic. See Taller, No. 268.
PAGE 171. Charles Lillie, perfumer, at the corner of Beaufort-Buildings
in the Strand, acted as agent for the sale of the Spectator (see
advts. A, No. I6 onwards), as he had done for the Taller (see
Nos. 138 and I42).    He issued the two volumes of Original
and Genuine Letters sezt to the Tatler and Spectator (1725).
PAGE 172. The Postman, ante, p. 310.
- Gilbert Burnet, the historian, wrote a description, in the form
of Letters, of his Continental Travels in 1685-6.
PAGE 173.  The Art of Ogling. Cf ante, No. 20.
- The Ring. A fashionable resort in Hyde Park for promenaders and horsemen. Cf. Nos. 73, 88, 377.
PAGE 174. Motto. Martial, Epigr. II. xli.                      No, 47,
- Hobbes's Human Nature, ch. ix. ~ 13 (Molesworth, iv. 46).
PAGE 175. Boileau's 4th Satire.
-  The soubriquet Jack-Pudding, for a 'Merry-Andrew,' which
appears in Milton's Defence of the People of England, i., was much
in vogue in the literature at the end of the I7th cent. Cf. Shadwell's
plays, passimr; Jones's Elymas (1682). Addison has not added the
German equivalent Hans Wurst.
PAGE 176. Sleeveless Errand (Troilus and Cressida, V. iv. 9). Inkle
(ante, p. 43 note). The burning of blue Inkle as a restorative is
referred to in Shadwell's Sullen Lovers, ii.; The Amorous Bigot, V.
i.; etc.
- The Biter is discussed in No. 504. A bite (as in No. 156)
is the eighteenth century for our colloquial ' sell'; a biter, one who
humbugs.  " I '11 teach you a way to outwit Mrs. Johnson," writes
Swift to Dr. Tisdall (I6th Dec. 1703): "it is a new-fashioned way
of being witty, and they call it a bite. You must ask a bantering
question, or tell some damned lie in a serious manner, and then
she will answer or speak as if you were in earnest; and then
cry you, 'Madam, there's a bite!'"  See Swift's verses, passim.
Rowe's comedy, The Biter, was produced on Dec. 4th, 1704,
when the author, according to Dr. Johnson, "sat in the house
laughing with great vehemence, whenever he had in his own
opinion produced a jest" (Lives, ii. 3I3).
PAGE I77. Henry IV. Pt. II., I. ii. 6.
PAGE I77. Motto. Ovid, Metam, xiv. 652.                         No, 48,
PAGE 180.  The Unhappy Favourite, or Earl of Essex, by Banks, was
first produced at the Theatre Royal in 1682, and was played at
Drury Lane on 25th Dec. 1709. It was a popular piece, and
supplied the basis for the later plays, The Earl of Essex, by Jones
(I753) and Brooke (176I). See the Preface to Fielding's Tom
Thumb the Great (730). Lord Foppington was Colley Cibber's
part in his own play, The Careless Husband, first acted 7th Dec.




336                THE SPECTATOR
No, 48,     I704. Justice Clodpate, "an immoderate hater of London," is a
character in Shadwell's.Epsom- Wells (1672), revived at Drury
Lane on I8th Dec. 1708, with Powell, Johnson (as the Justice),
Bullock, and Pinkethman in the cast. Justice Overdo is in Ben
Jonson's Bartholomew Fair (1614), which was acted at the Hay.
market on I2th Aug. I707.
No, 49, PAGE I8I. Motto. Martial, Epigr. X. iv.
- Beaver, the haberdasher, is James Heywood, linen draper, Fish
Street Hill, the 'James Easy' of the letter in No. 268, and the
author of a volume of 'Letters and Poems.' (See Mr. Dobson's
Steele, 468, 473.)
PAGE 182. The Grecian (ante, p. 3Io). Squire's was near Gray's Inn,
and Searle's at Lincoln's Inn. See Nos. 269 and 271.
PAGE 184. Dinner-Time.    "In my own Memory the Dinner has
crept by Degrees from Twelve a Clock to Three, and where it will
fix no Body knows" (Taller, No. 263). Lady Dainty, conceiving
"it necessary for a Gentlewoman to be out of order," dined in her
closet at twelve (ib. No. 77).  Cf. Swift's Journal of a Modern
Lady (1728).
- Tom the Tyrant was the head waiter of White's Coffee-house,
of sufficient authority to be classed with Mr. Kidney of the
St. James's. He is the 'Sir Thomas' of the Tatler (Nos. I6,
26, and 36).
No, 50, PAGE 184. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. xiv. 321.
- On the morning after the appearance of this paper, Swift
wrote in hisJournal to Stella-" The Spectator is written by Steele
with Addison's help: 'tis often very pretty. Yesterday it was
made of a noble hint I gave him long ago for his Tatlers, about an
Indian supposed to write his travels into England. I repent he
ever had it. I intended to have written a book on that subject.
I believe he has spent it all in one paper, and all the under hints
there are mine too; but I never see him or Addison."  Addison,
who, it will be noted, is the author of the paper, cannot well have
been indebted to Swift for the 'under hints.' The paper in the
Tatler (No. I7I, 12th May 1710) gives an account of the manner
in which the Indian Kings "who were lately in Great Britain,"
did honour to their landlord, the Upholsterer in King Street,
Covent Garden. This man, whom they styled 'Cadaroque,' is
the ' Upholsterer' of the present paper. The four Iroquois chiefs
(including Tee Yee Neen Ho Ga Row, "Emperor of the Mohocks")
had come to England to hear
"-their doom
Secur'd against the threats of France and Rome."
See the Epilogue spoken 'before the four Indian Kings' at the
Haymarket after the performance of Macbeth on 24th April I710
(Genest, II. 452). As to the distinction between the 'Upholsterer'
and the 'Political Upholsterer,' and the identification of the
former with one of the Ames, see Dict. Nat. Biog., Thos.
Arne.
The motif of the paper may have suggested Goldsmith's Citizen




NOTES                           337
of the World; but Montesquieu's Lettres Persanes (172I), named No, 50,
by Mr. T. Arnold as indebted to this happy 'hint,' more probably drew its inspiration from Du Fresny's Amusements sdrieux
et comiques daun Siamois (I707), and Galland's translation of the
Thousand and One Nights (I708).
PAGE 185. Line 26, 'polished marble' A.
PAGE 8I7. Line 8, 'Persons, etc.' 'Men of the greatest Perfections
in their Country.' A.
- For the 'black spots' or patches, see No. 8I.
PAGE I88. Motto. Horace, Epist. II. i. 127.                     No, 51,
- Steele criticises his own play by way of prelude to his
strictures on several popular comedies. (See Nos. 65, 75.) The
passage is from the first edition of The Funeral (published Dec.
1701). The later text, Act II. sc. i., reads;Campley-0 that Harriot! to embrace that beauteous
Lord Hardy-Ay Tom; etc.
PAGE 189. Line i, ' About him to delight '-' Else to gratify' A.
She Would If She Could, by Sir George Etheredge, had been
last acted on 5th Dec. I706, at the Haymarket.
PAGE 190. Ibrahim I3th Emperour of the Turks (corrected in the
Preface to ' 2th') was written by Mrs. Pix. It was produced at
Drury Lane in I696, and again on 20th Oct. 1702 (See Genest, II.
p. 74). Settle had written a play entitled Ibrahim in 1676, founded
on Scuddri's romance of that name.
- The 'throwing of the handkerchief' supplied many a metaphor
in the plays of the day. Cf., e.g. Shadwell's Scowrers, I. i. It is
probable that not a little of the Eastern 'colour' of contemporary
literature was derived from a treatise on the Seraglio written by
John Greaves (ante, p. 309).
-  The Rover or the Banished Cavaliers, by Mrs. Aphra Behn, of
which the Ist Part was licensed on 2nd July I677, and the second
acted in 168I. The first part was the best, and the most popular.
The scene where Blunt falls "into the common shore" is taken
from Boccaccio, II. v. (Genest, II. 210).
At Bartholomew    Fair.  This may    refer to the popular
acrobatic exhibitions at the Fair, or, according to some editors,
to the display of figure by ' Lady Mary,' a rope-dancer of the time.
PAGE 192. Motto. Virgil,.En. i. 78.                            No. 52.
- Martial, vii. IoI; one of the three doubtful epigrams not printed
in the later texts.
PAGE I93. The Postman (ante, p. 3IO). The Spectator (A) frequently
advertises "rosy" cosmetics, especially "the famous Bavarian
Red Liquor."
PAGE 195. Motto. Horace, Ars Poet. 359.                         No, 53,
PAGE 196. Epictetus his Morals, with Simplicius his Comment, was
done into English, in 1694, by George Stanhope.   A second
edition was printed in  700o. The passage in italics is a resumd of
ch. 62. For Saint-Evremond see ante, p. 327.
- 'R. B.' Cf. note to letter in No. 33; where there is also a
reference to Saint-Evremond.
Y




338               THE SPECTATOR
No, 53, PAGE 197. The style of Steele's correspondent well illustrates his
horror of "the least Impropriety of Language."
PAGE 199. King Latinus, ante, p. 323.
No, 54, PAGE 200. Motto. Horace, Epist. I. xi. 28.
PAGE 201. Plato's Apology, chap. vi.
PAGE 202. Hudibras, III. ii. I75-6.-' Shin'd upon.'
- "This Letter [and that in No. 78] may be by Laurence
Eusden." (H. Morley).
- Any distinction between Coffee-house and Chocolate-house, a
in respect of their names, must be somewhat arbitrary.  Pepys
says, 'To a coffee-house to drink jocolatte' (Diary, 20th Nov. 1664).
At the 'Coffee-houses,' which became more numerous and more
club-like, " the guests were supplied with newspapers" (Johnson's
Dict.).  White's and The Cocoa- Tree were Chocolate-houses.
No, 55, PAGE 203. Motto. Persius, Sat. v. 129.
- The passage is 11. 132-155 of the same Satire. The quotation
from Dryden's translation will be found in vol. xiii., p. 258, of
Scott & Saintsbury's edition.  Line 5, ' The tyrant Lucre no
denial takes'; lines 20-I
'Nothing retards thy voyage now, unless
The other lordforbids, Voluptuousness.'
[Brown george=a brown loaf (Johnson); borachio='a bottle
commonly of a pigges skin, with the hair inward, dressed inwardly
with rozen, to keep wine or liquor sweet' (Minsheu)-Cf. Jonson's
The Devil is an Ass, II. i.; jack = the old English waxed leather
bottle or cup.]
PAGE 205. Sallust, Bell. Catil. v.-'alieni appetens, sui profusus.'
No, 56, PAGE 207. Motto. Lucan, Pharsalia, i. 454.
- The works of Albertus Magnus ( I93-1280) were published in
21 vols. at Leyden in I65I.
PAGE 208. A Friend of mine, ante, p. 184.
PAGE 208.   That precious metal. Cf. the Christian 'thirst for gold'
in the well-known passage on the 'poor Indian' in Pope's Essay
on Man, i. 107-8.
No, 57, PAGE 212. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. vi. 252-3.
- Iliad. vi. 490.
-The 'rural Andromache' recalls Mrs. Alse Copswood "the
Yorkshire Huntress," who is described in the 37th Tatler as
"come to town lately, and moves as if she were on a Nag, and
going to take a Five-Bar Gate; and is as loud as if she were
following her Dogs."
PAGE 214. The Whig Dr. Titus Oates is a clever disguise for the
Tory Dr. Henry Sacheverell. The enthusiasm of the Tory ladies
for the Doctor during his trial (Feb. 27-Mar. 23, 1710) is
described in the Tatller (No. I42). " In the mean Time it is not
to be expressed, how many cold Chickens the Fair Ones have
eaten since this day [Mar. 6] seven-night for the Good of their
Country."  Dr. Sacheverell's Speech had its place in Leonora's
Library, ante, p. 330.
- Snuff-box.  See note on p. 343.




NOTES                           339
PAGE 215. Motto. Horace, Ars Poet. 361. The original is "Ut No, 58,
pictura poesis: erit," etc.  It is conceivable that Addison intentionally tampered with Horace's syntax for his immediate
purpose. The same error is made by Voltaire in the Dict. philosophique (art. ' Police des Spectacles').
-  Longinus begins his Treatise on the Sublime with an
adverse critique of the book on that subject by Csecilius, the
Sicilian rhetorician and friend of Dionysius of Halicarnassus.
C    He holds that it is written in a humbler style than the argument
demands.
PAGES 216-7.  The "short poems printed among the minor Greek
Poets" will be found on pp. 314-329 of Poeta Minores Grceci,
edited by Radulph Winterton, Cambridge, 1684. Addison must
have had these pages before him when he wrote the paper, as the
'Figures' are given by him in the same order, and as all the details
refer to the texts in that edition. A full account of these and
other 'Figures' will be found in Puttenham's Art of English
Poesie (1589).
PAGE 218. Dryden's Mac-Flecknoe, 11. 205-8.
- George Herbert's Tentple, e.g. 'The Altar' (No. I) and
'Easter Wings' (No I x).
- Joshua Sylvester's Translation of Du Bartas, Dedication.
PAGE 219.   Cowley in his Pindarique Odes had set a fashion of
deshabillg in English verse, to which the later Caroline poets,
Dryden, and the contemporaries of Addison turned for relaxation
from the rigorous etiquette of the Heroic Couplet. A more ample
denunciation of Pindarick writers will be found in No. i60.
Addison expresses too, in No. 147, his 'classical' hatred of those
whom he calls 'Pindarick readers.'
PAGE 219. Motto. Seneca, De Brev. Vitae, xiii.                  No, 59,
PAGE 220. The work of Tryphiodorus (c. A.D. 400), a grammarian
and epic poet, is described by Hesychius of Miletus as follows:NeorTop firoirolbs, 6 (K AVKCaS, ypac+IEV 'IXAi48c X ELiroyplpJ.ia.rov.
"EaorL yap Iv T6 a plh V epC(aKE<rciL a, Kal Kaccr& paC8Ccav o0h0
rb Kdo-TrllS KXLLF7rVELV oroLXEtOV. 'Ero('tc 8i KalM TpuV+co8(opos
'O086crErLcav 6oo(Cos aCrT (Fragmenta Historicorum  Groecorum,
ed. Muller, IV. p. 171).  His only extant work, on the Fall of
Troy, was printed by H. Stephanus, in folio, in 1566.
PAGE 22I. Addison has borrowed most of his details in illustration of
the 'rebus' from Camden's Remains concerning Britain, first
published anonymously in I605.
PAGE 222. Ovid, Metam. 356-369.
-Erasmus, Colloquia Familiaria, ' Echo.'
- Hudibras, Pt. I. Canto III. 11. 183-220. It is Orsin who
bewails his loss. Butler, according to Warburton, refers, in the
lines about 'splay-foot rhymes,' to Sidney's Arcadia.  He may
have had in mind such poems as Herbert's ' Heaven' (The Temple,
No. 159).
PAGE 223. Motto. Persius, Sat. iii. 85.                         No, 60,
PAGE 224. The making of Anagrams (avaypcapp.arCEL of the Greek
Grammarians) was older than monkish times, though the word




340                THE SPECTATOR
No, 60,     'anagram' (Fr. anagramme) came in in the I6th century. See
Puttenham's Art of Eng. Poesie, ('of the Anagrame or Poesie
transposed') and Camden ut supra.
- Anagram of a Man.    Cf.
Though all her parts be not in th' usual place,
She hath yet an anagram of a good face.
-Donne, Elegies, ii. 15-6.
Cf also Hudibras, III. i. 77I-2.
- Virg. Georg. iv. 491-2.
- Like a seam-e.g. No. 58 in Herbert's Temple.
PAGE 226.   The Mercure Galant, by Vise, was established for the
criticism of belles lettres and those lighter matters which the
Journal des Sravans did not discuss.
- See Menagiana, I. pp. 174-5 (3rd edit. 1713). An account
of the 'learned' Gilles Menage (d. I692) will be found in Bayle.
He was probably Moliere's model for Vadius in Les Femmes
Savantes.
PAGE 227.  ' Played booty'-' played double' A.
- The works of Jean Francois Sarazin were printed by Menage
in 1656, after their author's death (Menagiana, I. 30, 347).
- Hudibras, I. i. 11-12; I. ii. 1-2.  Cf. Tatler, No. I32.
No, 61, PAGE 228. Motto. Persius, Sat. v. 19.
- One of the most deliberate and lengthy exercises in punning
by the 'learned monarch' is his speech to the Professors of the
College of Edinburgh during his visit in I6I7 (see The Muses
Welcome, I618).
- Lancelot Andrewes (1555-1626).
PAGE 229. Paronomasia, pun; Ploce (irXoKi), lit. a twining, more
familiarly the Aristotelian dramatic antithesis to Xavors; Antanaclasis, the repetition of the same word in a different, if not in a
contrary sense.
PAGE 231. The saying of Aristenetus, with the rendering by Mercerus,
is taken by Addison from Menagiana, I. p. 32I. Mercerus, or
Mercier, was the father-in-law of Salmasius, or Saumaise, the
opponent of Milton.
No, 62, PAGE 231. Motto. Horace, Ars Poet. 309.
- Locke's Essay concerning the Human Understanding, ed.
1690, ' Of discerning etc.,' ch. xi. p. 68.
PAGE 232. Cf. Addison on Cowley, in An Account of the Greatest Eng.
Poets, Hurd, I. 22-7,-" He more had pleased us had he pleased
us less," which is borrowed from Boileau (Ep. ix.).
PAGE 233. Cowley's Mistress, passim.
PAGE 235. "The definition of Wit... is only this: That it is a
propriety of thoughts and words: or, in other terms, thoughts and
words elegantly adapted to the subject"-Dryden's Apology for
Heroic Poetry, prefixed to The State of Innocence.  Dryden, in
the Preface to Albion and Albanius, states that this definition, if
true, "will extend to all sorts of poetry."  In the Preface to the
Second Miscellany he says that he drew his definition from the




NOTES                           341
consideration of Virgil's art. " This evening," says the 62nd Taller, No, 62,
" was spent at our Table in Discourse of Propriety of Words and
Thoughts, which is Mr. Dryden's Definition of Wit."
PAGE 235. The Dialogues of Bouhours, entitled La Manidre de bien
penser dans les ouvrages de l'esprit, wherein this sentiment occurs,
appeared in 1687, and was translated into English in 1705 by a
'Person of Quality.'  Bouhours quotes from the 9th Epistle of
Boileau 'Rien n'est beau que le vrai,' etc., an idea which is
r   familiar enough in Boileau's Art of Poetry. The vogue of Bouhours
and Rapin among the lesser Wits is illustrated in the Tatler, No.
87. Rapin was translated by Rymer.
|PAGE 236.  Dryden, Dedication of the zEneis, Scott & Saintsbury,
xiv. I80. Segrais (I624-I701), the friend of Mme. de la Fayette,
translated the SEneid and Georgics into French verse, to which he
prefixed a dissertation. Dryden makes ample reference to this in
his Ded. to the Eneis.
PAGE 237. Motto. Horace. Ars Poet. I.                           No, 63,
PAGE 238. Pulvillio (It. polviglio: Lat. pulvillus), a sachet of scented
powder. "All sorts of Essences, Perfumes, Pulvilios, Sweet-Bags,
perfum'd Boxes for your Hoods and Gloves" (Shadwell's BuryFair, II. ii.).
- Dulness, the eighteenth century antithesis to Wit, Good Sense,
Invention, etc., which dwelt in 'Caves' and fantastic 'Temples.'
We have the most emphatic critique in Pope's Essay on Criticism
and in the Dunciad.
PAGE 239. Tryphiodorus, ante, p. 339.
PAGE 242. Motto. Juvenal, Sat. III. 182-3.                      No, 64,
- This day Swift enters in his Journal to Stella-" Dr. Freind
was with me, and pulled out a twopenny pamphlet just published,
called 'The State of Wit,' giving a character of all the papers that
have come out of late. The author seems to be a Whig... But
above all things he praises the Tatlers and Spectators; and I
believe Steele and Addison were privy to the printing of it. Thus
is one treated by these impudent dogs."
PAGE 244. Charles II. of Spain had died in 1700; Peter II. of Portugal
in I706; and the Emperor Joseph I. quite recently, on I7th April
1711.
PAGE 245. Motto. Horace, Sat. I. x. go.                         No 65,
PAGE 246. Sir George Etheredge's popular comedy, The Man of Mode
or Sir Fopling Flutter (licensed 3 June i676) is referred to in
Dryden's Mac-Flecknoe, I5I-4. See No. 75.
PAGE 248. In A. is an advertisement, in large type, of Pope's Essay
on Criticism.  "This day is publish'd. An Essay on Criticism.... Price IS."
PAGE 249. Motto. Horace, Odes, III. vi. 21-4.                   No, 66,
- Belle Sauvage, ante, p. 104.
- 'John Hughes is the author of these two letters, and, Chalmers
thinks, also of the letters signed R. B. in Nos. 33 and 53' (H.
Morley). See note to p. I24.
PAGE 252. Motto. Sallust, Catalina, 25.                         No, 67,
-  Lucian's Dialogue on Dancing was translated, in the Works,




342               THE SPECTATOR
No, 67,    by Ferrard Spence ( 684), and again " By several Eminent Hands"
(I7I1).
PAGE 253. Budgell, in the name 'Monsieur Rigadoon,' hints, pro.
bably correctly, at the French origin of this lively dance, just
as, later in the essay, he is right in stating that the country-dance
(called contre-danse on its introduction into France) is 'an
invention of our own country.' The rigadoon was a dance for
two. Cf. Guardian, No. I54. Mol. Pately was a popular English
dance of the early seventeenth century. The description of they
French dancing may be compared with that in the Tatler, No. 88.
See also Spectator, No. 37 note (La Ferte).
PAGE 254. " In foul weather, it would not be amiss for them to
learn to dance, that is, to learn just so much (for all beyond is
superfluous, if not worse) as may give them a graceful comportment of their bodies "-Cowley's Proposition for the Advancement
of Experimental Philosophy (~ The School).
-  The sale of Italian paintings at 'the Three Chairs' is
advertised in No. 64 and subsequent papers.
No, 68, PAGE 256. Motto. Ovid, Metam. i. 355.
- Cicero, De Amicitia, vi. 22.
- Bacon, Essays (Of Friendship), ed. Wright, p. 107.
- Ecclesiasticus, chaps. vi., ix., xxii., and xxvii.
PAGE 259. AMorum comitas. Cicero, passim, especially De Officiis, ii.i
Cf. the motto of the II2th Tatler.
- Martial, Epig. xii. 47.
No, 69, PAGE 260. Motto. Virgil, Georgics, i. 54.
- With this paper on the power of Trade compare No. I74.
- A reference to Diogenes the Cynic, who claimed to be of no
country but KorL.o'rroX'nrqs (Diog. Lert. vi. 63). Goldsmith later
adopted the phrase ' Citizen of the World' as a title to the papers
which appeared in the Public Ledger.
PAGE 261.  Grand Cairo, ante, p. 309.
- The description of the toilet, which may be compared with
that in the II6th Tatler, may have suggested 11. 129-136 of the
Rape of the Lock. See note to p. I9.
- Pyramids of china. Cf. No. 37.
No, 70, PAGE 263. Motto. Horace, Epis. II. i. 63.
- Boileau gives this well-known anecdote of Moliere in his
Reflexions sur Longin, I.
-  Sidney's Apologie for Poetrie (ed. Shuckburgh, p. 31).
"Addison," says Percy, in his Reliques "is mistaken with regard
to the antiquity of the common-received copy; for this, if one may
judge from the style, cannot be older than the time of Elizabeth,
and was probably written after the elogium of Sir Philip Sidney:
perhaps in consequence of it" (I. 19). Percy gives the text of " the
genuine antique poem" (ib.); the errors in it are corrected in Mr.
Skeat's Specimens of English Literature.
PAGE 264. The greatest Modern Criticks would seem to a generality
for Le Bossu, the author of the Traite du Poeme Epique (1675). I
am indebted to Mr. D. Nichol Smith for pointing out the following
passages which Addison adopts-" La premiere chose... est de




NOTES                           343
choisir l'instruction et le point de Morale" (p. 37); "... il No, 70,
emploie momins la force du raisonnement que l'insinuation et le
plaisir, s'accommodant aux coutumes et aux inclinations particulieres
de ses auditeurs " (p. 44). Chaps. viii. and xi. show that Homer
and Virgil "have formed their plans in this view." The allusion
to the Greek States is also borrowed (p. 66).
PAGE 267. Virgil, AEn. xi. 820 et seq.
PAGE 268.  Vicisti etc., En. xii. 936-7; At vero etc., AEn. x. 821-3.
1  - Addison returns to this ballad in No. 74.
>AGE 269. Motto. Ovid, Her. Epist. iv. 10.                      No, 71,
- Dryden's Works (ed. Scott & Saintsbury) xi. 488, lines 79
et seq. Steele omits line 8i (after 2nd in quotation).
'For Cymon shunned the Church, and used not much to pray'
and lines 102-3 (after the 22nd in the same)
'Where two beginning paps were scarcely spied,
For yet their places were but signified.'
- The letter of the 'enamoured footman' is believed to be
genuine. James Hirst, a servant of Steele's and Addison's friend
the Hon. Edward Wortley, had by mistake enclosed a letter to
his 'mistress' in a parcel which he delivered to his master. Mr.
Wortley refused to return it, saying, 'No, James. You shall be a
great man. This letter must appear in the Spectator' (Chalmers,
I. 434).
PAGE 273. Motto. Virgil, Georgics, iv. 208-9.                  No, 72.
- Whet. Cf. Advt. in the Tatler (No. 138). 'Whereas Mr.
Bickerstaff.. has received Information, That there are in and
about the Royal-Exchange a sort of Persons commonly known
by the name of Whetters, who drink themselves into an intermediate State of being neither drunk or sober...'  See also
Tatler, No. 141.
-  Ben Jonson's Club, ante, p. 317.  The twenty-fourth and
last rule ran " Neminem reum pocula faciunto. Focus perennis esto."
- Kit-Cat and October. Ante, p. 317.
- Whisk or Whist. It is so spelt in the Country Gentleman's
) Vade-Mecum, Lond. 1699, p. 63 (Halliwell).
-  To moisten (or 'wet') their clay, as a humorous synonym
for ' to drink' does not seem to be older than the first decade of
the eighteenth century. (See the New Eng. Dict.)
AGE 275. Motto. Virgil, zEn. i. 332.                          No, 73
AGE 276. Cicero, Tusc. v. 24.
AGE 277. The Ring, ante, p. 335.
- Paradise Lost, i. 376 et seq.
- The History of Bel and of the Dragon, ver. 3 et seq.
AGE 278. From the pseudo-Chaucerian poem, The Remedie of Love
(c. 1530), printed in Chalmers's Poets, I. p. 539 (stanzas 8 and 9).
-Snuff-taking by ladies was quite a la mode in the days of the
Spectator.  See Nos. 57, 91, and especially 344.  " My sister... sits with her nose full of snuff... reading Plays and
) Romances" (Tatler, No. 75). "After this, we turned our Discourse into a more gay style, and parted: But before we did so, I




344               THE SPECTATOR
No, 73,     made her resign her Snuff-box for ever, and half drown her self
with washing away the Stench of the Musty" (Tatler, No. 79).
See also Nos. 35 and I40; Swift's Journal to Stella, Nov., 3, I7I1.
No, 74, PAGE 279. Motto. Virgil,.En. iv. 88.
- The earlier paper will be found on pp. 264-8.  See notes
thereon.
PAGE 280. Horace, Odes, I. ii. 23-4.
-  Vocat etc. Virgil, Georgics iii. 43-5.
PAGE 28I.   The lines Adversi etc. are printed by Addison and hil
editors as one passage.  11. I-2 are from -En. xi. 605-6; 3-5,En. vii. 682-4; and 5-8, ib. 712-5.
-  Turnus etc. zEn. ix. 47; Vidisti etc. ib. 269-70.
-' A deep and deeply Blow,' a printer's error in the original
edition.
- Has inter etc.  nEn. xii. 3I8-20.
PAGE 282.  Cadit etc. -En. ii. 426-8. The 1712 text prints est after
visum.
PAGE 283. Hudibras, I. iii. 94-6.
'And, being down, still laid about:
As Widdrington in doleful dumps
Is said to fight upon his stumps.'
- Non 5udet etc.,En. xii. 229-31.
No, 75, PAGE 284. Motto.   Horace, Epist. I. xvii. 23.
-This paper is supplementary to No. 65.
No, 76, PAGE 287. Motto. Horace, Eplist. I. viii. I7.
PAGE 288. La Calprenede's romance of Pharamond was published in
Paris in I66I and was translated into English in I677 by John
Phillips, Milton's nephew.
No, 77, PAGE 290. Motto. Martial, Epigr. I. lxxxvi. 8-Io. In the 1712 tex
it is printed in two lines.  'Non convivere licet' etc.
PAGE 291. The sketch of Will. Honeycomb as a reveur or distrait
borrowed from   La Bruyere-'II se promene sur l'eau, et
demande quelle heure il est: on lui presente une montre, A pein
l'a-t-il reque, que ne songeant plus ni a l'heure, ni A la montre
il la jette dans la rivibre, comme une chose qui l'embarrasse
(Caractdres: Chap. xi., De 'Homme, ii. p. 8, ed. I790). Budgel
gives this episode an English colour; the other freaks of Menalca
he acknowledges (p. 293) as a direct transcript from his Frenc
original (ib.). De Brancas, brother of the Duc de Villars, is said t
have been La Bruyere's model for Menalcas.
-Dryden's Absolom and Achitophel. Part I. 11. I63-4.
Great wits are sure to madness near allied, etc.
'Nullum  magnum   ingenium  sine mixtura dementiae' —Senec
De Tranquillitate Animi. xv.
-Mathematicians.    Perhaps an allusion to the familiar tal
about Sir Isaac Newton.
-Jesuit. Ante, p. I6.
No, 78, PAGE 295. Motto. See first paragraph.
-Laurence Eusden has been named as Steele's Cambridc
correspondent. (H. Morley.) See No. 54.




NOTES                           345
PAGE 297.  The Lowngers. Ante, p. 202.                          No, 78,
— You, your self.   Steele doubtless revised the  humorous
'petition' and 'remonstrance' (No. 80) with increased amusement,
for the chief task of emendation which fell to him and his
collaborators in the preparation of these volumes was the readjustment of the Whos and Thats. For example, in No. 72, of
eight alterations seven are the substitution of 'who' and 'which'
for 'that.'
PAGE 299. Motto. Horace, Epist. I. xvi. 52.                      No, 79,
PAGE 300.   'M. T.' Is this 'Mary Tuesday' of No. 24?
PAGE 301. Hecatissa. Ante, p. 179, etc.
- Female Library. Ante, p. I39.
-  Dr. Johnson quotes the first line of this couplet, and adds
Anon.'
PAGE 302.   Weekly Preparations.  This is perhaps a reference to
A Week's Preparation etc. (Lond. 1679; 47th edit., 2nd Pt.,
I736), a popular devotional work, one of several of its kind bearing
similar titles.
-   To say black in the eye, to find fault with.  " I defy anybody to say black in my eye" (Fielding, Tom Jones, IX. iv.).
PAGE 302. Motto. Horace, Epist. I. xi. 27.                      No, 80,
PAGE 303. Babies, dolls.   Cf  Nos. 478 and 500 ('Little girls
tutoring their Babies'), and Tatler, No. 95.
-  Visitings. Ante, p. 328.
PAGE 305. The line, which Steele gives incorrectly, is not in the
Indian Emperor, but in Aurung-Zebe (IV. i.).
'You love the name
So well, your every question ends in that;
You force me still to answer you, Morat.'
' Egad,' '1 vow to gad,' ' And all that ' are constantly on
the lips of Failer, the 'hanger-on' of Sir Timorous in Dryden's
Wild Gallant. These mannerisms are burlesqued in the Rehearsal
in the speeches of Bayes, who is intended for Dryden.


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