*
* A
S
6




i
I




II
Ii








THE
CARISBROOKE LIBRARY.
XI.




THE TWELFTH       VOLUME
OF THIS LIBRARY,
MEMOIRS OF MY LIFE        AND WRITINGS,
BY EDWARD GIBBON:
WITH A SELECTION FROM GIBBON'S LETTERS,
Will be Published on the 25th of November 189o.




THE


CARISBROOKE LIBRARY
In Half-croe  n Volumes, published in alternate Months.
(Also in Roxburgh binding, gilt top, price 3s. 6d.)
VOL.
I. The Tale of a Tub, and other Works, by JONATHAN SWIFT.
CONTENTS: —Part l.-Introduction (I667-I713)-A Tale of a Tub-The
History of Martin —he Battle of the Books-Resolutions-Mrs.
Francis Harris's Petition-A  Tritical Essay-A Meditation upon a
Broomstick-Thoughts on 'Various Subjects-Baucis and PhilemonAn Argument against Abolishing Christianity in England-Predictions
for the Year 1708-An Answer to Bickerstaff-Mr. Bickerstaffs Predictions-A Grub Street Elegy-A  Description of the Morning-A
Description of a City Shower-A Project for the Advancement of
Religion.
Part II.-Introduction ( 7I3-1745)-The Little Legacies in Swift's WillHorace, Book I. Ep. VII.-The Author upon Himself-Horace, Book
II. Sat. VI.-Cadenus and Vanessa-A Rebus-The Dean's Answer
-In Sickness-Poems to Stella-Three Prayers-Three SermonsThoughts on Various Subjects (continued).
Supplement.-Swift's Journal to Stella (The First Seven Letters).
II. Tales of the Seven Deadly Sins, being the "Confessio
Amantis" of JOHN GOWER.
III. The Earlier Life and tne Chief Earlier Works of Daniel
DEFOE.
CONTENTS:-''he Earlier Life of Daniel Defoe (166I-I697)-An Essay on
Projects-'Ihe Earlier Life (1697-1702)-The True-Born EnglishmanThe Earlier Life (I702-1703)-The Shortest Way with the Dissenters
-A   Hymn to the Pillory-The Earlier Life (1703-70o6)-The Consolidator; or, Memoirs of Transactions in the World of the MoonA True Relation of the Apparition of Mrs. Veal.
IV. Early Prose Romances.
CONTENTS:-Introduction-Eleven of the Hundred Merry Tales-The
History of Reynard the Fox —Robert the Devil- Virgilius —The
History of Hamlet - The Famous History of Friar Bacon - The
History of Guy Earl of Warwick-The History of Friar Rush-More
of the Hundred Merry Tales.
V. English Prose Writings of John Milton.
CONTENTS:-Introduction. —God and:l/an. —Of Reformation Touching
Church Discipline in England-The Reason of Church Government
urged against Prelacy. Man and Wife.-The Doctrine and Discipline
of Divorce. AMan and Child.-Of Education-A Letter to Samuel
Hartlib. MAfan and MAan.-Areopagitica-A Speech for the Liberty of
Unlicensed Printing-The Tenure of Kings and Magistrates. Freedom
in Church and State.-A Treatise of Civil Power in Ecclesiastical Causes
-The Ready and Easy Way to Establish a Free Commonwealth.




iv


THE CARISBROOKE LIBRARY.


VOL.
VI. Parodies and other Burlesque Pieces by George Canning,
GEORGE ELLIS, and JOHN HOOKHAM FRERE, with the whole Poetry
of the Antijacobin.
CONTENTS:-Canning, Ellis, and Frere.-George Ellis: Verses for the
Vase at Bath-Easton-Poetical Tales by Sir Gregory Gander-(Introduction-The Power of Faith, a Tale)-Poetical Trifles-(Elegy written
in a College Library-Races, a Ballad-The Cock and the Horses,
a Fable-The Duke of Benevento, a Tale-Palinode to the Reviewers)The Rolliad, Number Two-Political Eclogues: Huc ades o formose
puer-Probationary Odes for the Laureatship-(Ode by Nathaniel
William Wraxall - Rondeau humbly inscribed to the Right Hon.
William Eden).-George Canning-John Hookham Frere: The Microcosm-The Beginning of the Microcosm-Contributions by George
Canning-The End of the Microcosm by Canning and Robert SmithA Contribution to the Microcosm by John Hookham Frere-(Proposal
for the Improvement of Shakespeare by Critical Rules).-Canning and
Frre from 1788 to I798-George Canning: Epitaph on Mrs. Crewe's
Dog-Lines in Mrs. Crewe's Album-To Mrs. Legh upon her Wedding
Day.-/ohn Hookham Frere-George Canning: The French Revolution
-The Poetry of the Antijacobin-George Ellis to Walter Scott on his
Marmion-John Hookham Frere: The Monks and the Giants.
VII. Jerusalem Delivered: A Poem by Torquato Tasso, translated by EDWARD FAIRFAX.
VIII. London under Elizabeth: A Survey of London, containing
the Originall, Antiquity, Increase, Moderne Estate, and Description
of that Citie, written in the year 1598, by JOHN STOW, Citizen of
London.
IX. Masques and Entertainments, by BEN JONSON.
X. Ireland under Elizabeth and James the First, described
by EDMUND SPENSER, by Sir JOHN DAVIES, Attorney-General for
Ireland, under James the First, and by FYNES MORYSON, Secretary
to the Lord Mountjoy, Lord-Deputy.
CONTENTS:-Introduction-A View of the State of Ireland, by Edmund
Spenser (I597)-A Discovery of the True Causes why Ireland was
never entirely Subdued nor brought under Obedience of the Crown of
England until the Beginning of His Majesty's Happy Reign, by Sir
John Davies, His Majesty's Attorney-General for Ireland (I6o2)-A
Letter from Sir John Davies to Robert, Earl of Salisbury, touching the
State of Monaghan, Fermanagh, and Cavan (i6o7)-Plantation of
Ulster: A Letter from Sir John Davies (I6io)-The Irish Parliament:
A Speech by Sir John Davies when appointed Speaker (I613)-A
Description of Ireland by Fynes Moryson, Secretary to the Lord Mountjoy, then Lord-Deputy-Appendix: The Geraldines-The O'NeillsLord Mountjoy.
XI. Gulliver's Travels, exactly reprinted from the First Edition, and
other Works, by JONATHAN SWIFT.
CONTENTS:-Introduction- Travels into Several Remote Nations of the
World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, first a Surgeon, and then
a Captain of several Ships-A Letter from Captain Gulliver to his
Cousin Sympson-An Account of the Court and Empire of Japan-An
Essay on the Fates of Clergymen-An Essay on Modern EducationHints toward an Essay on Conversation-A Letter of Advice to a
Young Poet-On the Death of Mrs. Johnson [Stella].
Appendix.-Cyrano de Bergerac and his Voyages to the Sun and Moon.




GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
AND OTHER WORKS.




SatIantene -prsj
BALLANTYNE, HANSON AND CO.
EDINBURGH AND LONDON








C;
zLl
C;
Z;




GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
EXACTLY REPRINTED FROM THE FIRST EDITION
AND OTHER WORKS
BY
JONATHAN SWIFT
WITH SOME ACCOUNT OF CYRANO DE BERGERAC, AND OF HIS
VOYAGES TO THE SUN AND MOON
EDITED BY
HENRY MORLEY, LL.D.
EMERITUS PROFESSOR OF ENGLISI-I LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE
UNIVERSITY COLLEGE, LONDON


LONDON
GEORGE ROUTLEDGE AND SONS, LIMITED
BROADWAY, LUDGATE HILL
GLASGOW, MANCHESTER, AND NEW YORK
1890




(~r             Zet -.              1I




CONTENTS.
PAGES
INTRODUCTION........    9-32
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.....  33-338
A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN
SYMPSON........  339-343
AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN 345-354
AN ESSAY ON THE FATES OF CLERGYMEN.. 355-362
AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.... 363-370
HINTS TOWARD AN ESSAY ON CONVERSATION.. 371-379
A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.. 381-400
ON THE DEATH OF MRS. JOHNSON [STELLA].. 401-410
BON MOTS DE STELLA...... 411-4I 2
APPENDIX.


CYRANO DE BERGERAC. 414-445








INTRODUCTION.
G  ULLIVER'S TRAVELS appear in this volume as they were
first published on the 28th of October I726. There was a
reprint of the book before the end of the year. The copy from
which the present edition has been prepared for press has the
same date, 1726, upon the title-page of both its volumes, but the
second volume, as shown here by the imitation of its title-page
on page 183, is inscribed "The Second Edition." In the original
volume tlere was a portrait of Lemuel Gulliver, the author, meant
to look very authentic.  There was also a little woodcut map
before each of the four parts, gravely determining the geographical
position of the countries visited, with the outlines of the countries
themselves. There were also, set in the text, figures to show the
movements of the flying island, and the form of the machine
which Captain Gulliver saw worked in the Academy of Lagado
for the diffusion of speculative knowledge, as described on pages
2I5 and 216 of this volume. References to these figures are left
in the text, from which not a word written by Swift has been
omitted, and in which not a word that he wrote has been altered,
in sense or spelling. The book has charm for readers of capacities and tastes so different that it has been variously adapted to
the use of old and young. But it is one of the masterpieces of
our literature that, like every such masterpiece, contains a main
part of the spirit of its time. It is amusing; but it was not written
only to amuse.
About a year before the book appeared, Swift wrote to Popeon the 29th of September 1725-"I have employed my time,




12


INTRODUCTION.


besides ditching, in finishing, correcting, amending, and transcribing my Travels, in four parts complete, newly augmented, and
intended for the press when the world shall deserve them, or
rather when a printer shall be found brave enough to venture his
ears. I like the scheme of our meeting after distresses and dispersions." Swift was coming from Ireland, where Stella had been
seriously ill, to London, where, as Pope's last letter had told him,
Arbuthnot lay in great danger of death, and Pope had said in
that letter, "After so many dispersions and so many divisions,
two or three of us may yet be gathered together, not to plot, not
to contrive silly schemes of ambition, or to vex our own or others'
hearts with busy vanities, such as at one time of life or other take
their tour in every man, but to divert ourselves, and the world
too, if it pleases; or at worst to laugh at others as innocently and
unhurtfully as at ourselves. Your Travels I hear much of." It
-— was to this passage that Swift replied, " I like the scheme of our
meeting after distresses and dispersions; but the chief end I propose to myself in all my labours is to vex the world rather than
divert it; and if I could compass that design without hurting my
own person or fortune "-say, by loss of ears, imprisonment, and
fine-"I would be the most indefatigable writer you have ever
seen, without reading." And truly he would not need to search
books for his matter. That was in the life before his eyes. Pope
had said that they would not vex their own or others' hearts with
silly vanities. Ay! but, thought Swift, the vanities, and worse than
vanities, that now degrade the daily lives of men, I write to make
them feel, I wish to vex them with the sense of their low aims,
and their false measures of worth and dignity. I do not live to
raise a laugh for-its own sake "innocently and unhurtfully."  I
want to make men flinch under the pain of their disease, avoid
its causes, and live wholesomely.
" Gulliver's Travels" is not a book standing alone in literature; it is only, through the genius of Swift, a more intense
expression of that sense of the corruption of society which was
rising in many minds, and found continuous expression in our
history, until conviction of the widesprca.d evil produced eagert




INTRODUCTION.


13


struggles for reform, and from the throes of the French Revolution the new life of our own century was born.
"When you think of the world," said Swift, in continuing the
same letter to Pope, of the 29th of September I725, "give it one
lash the more at my request.  I have ever hated all nations, proFinons, and communities, and all my love is towards individuals;
for instance, I hate the tribe of lawyers, but I love Counsellor
Such-a-one, and Judge Such-a-one: so with physicians,-I will
not speak of my own trade,-soldiers, English, Scotch, French,
and the rest. But principally I hate and detest that animal called
man, although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth.
This is the system upon which I have governed myself many
years, but do not tell, and so I shall go on till I have done with
them. I have got materials towards a treatise, proving the falsity
of that definition animal rationale, and to show it should be only
rationis capax.  Upon this great foundation of misanthropy,
though not in Timon's manner, the whole building of my Travels
is erected; and I never will have peace of mind till all honest
meii are of my opinion."  Swift's life showed that he loved his
friends, and after death there were found to be many kind recollections of them by bequest of little keepsakes in his will. The
tenderest affections are compatible with a deep sense of the
wrongs that fill the world. As deep a sense of them as Swift's
forced, years afterwards, from the gentle Cowper the pained cry
opening the second book of "The Task,"-the cry for
"A lodge in some vast wilderness,
Some boundless contiguity of shade,
Where rumour of oppression and deceit,
Of unsuccessful or successful war,
Might never reach me more I My ear is pained,
My soul is sick with every day's report
Of wrong and outrage with which earth is filled.
There is no flesh in man's obdurate heart,
It does not feel for man."
Four years after that was written in England, the Bastille was
stormed in France.




14


INTRODUCTION.


A generation earlier, Samuel Johnson, who loved his friend,
and of whom one who best knew him said that "no man loved
the poor as Johnson did," believed firmly that the conditions of
human society made happiness impossible on earth; and when
young Boswell asked him whether there were not. at least soro.
hours or minutes of life in which a man could have untainted
happiness, the reply was, "No, sir, unless he is drunk."  Man
/" having use of his reason could not, he thought, see what is done
in the world about him and be happy.
The growing of this consciousness of a widespread corruption
of society is a main feature in the literature of the'eighteenth
century.  It was an age of shams, but it was an age also of
deepening resentment against them.
In Queen Anne's reign the chief work of Steele and Addison in
Tatler and Spectator was, with a kindly playfulness, yet with religious purpose, to bring back right recognitionhof the woman's
place by man, and to correct those prevalent vices and follies
that could hardly belong to man as a rational animal, however he
might be ralionis cajax. jAt the same time Bernard Mandeville,
in his " Fable of the Bees," taught in his own way vigorously that
the whole framework of soiet was built upon' 'ie     and
follies, and that we must be content, if we would be good instead
of rich, to practise self-denial and live simple lives; to live as
simply as the horses, let us say, the Houyhnhnms. Mandeville's
"Search into the Nature of Society," the last prose piece appended
to the " Fable of the Bees," while it struck his usual note in saying that " the imaginary notions that men may be virtuous without
self-denial are a vast inlet to hypocrisy," showed in its own wyv
that the foundations of society were laid in Pride and Vanity, rni
in the " Amiable Virtues and Loving Qualities of Man," and tha
" what we call Evil in this world, moral as well as natural, is tti
grand principle that makes us sociable creatures, the solid basi
the life and support of all trades and employments without exce1
tion: that there we must look for the true origin of all ais s anr
sciences, and that the moment Evil ceases, the sc.ciety must be
spoiled, if not totally dissolved." So Mandeville 2,.ld the mirror




INTRODUCTION.


I1


up to the world as he found it, and the same foolish world, little
used to look to the heart of things-not yet, indeed, grown skilful
in that way of inquiry —looking at books and men, as William
Blake said,!ci/ the eyes instead of through them, by the voice
of a wise jury of Middlesex objected to this demoralising essay
only three years before Swift published "Gulliver's Travels."
Mandeville's book is to this day commonly read with the eyes
instead of through them. In one of his remarks appended to
the Fable he says rightly enough, " If I have shown the way to
worldly greatness, I have always, without hesitation, preferred
the road that leads to virtue." In some sense he interpreted
Christ's saying of the camel and the needle's eye, but he spoke
to a world unable to move from its position at the shrine of
Mammon. Mandeville pointed tplam living and   hi     oking,
but still in our own day there is no small part oflife that runs
directly in the opposite direction, true though it be that we have
outgrown much of the baseness of the days when " Gulliver " was
written.
Mandeville's "Search into the Nature of Society" puzzled a
Westminster jury three years before "Gulliver" was published.
In little more than a year after "Gulliver"-in January 1728 -John Gay, surely a good-natured man, poured scorn upon the
immorality of public and of private life in his "Beggars' Opera,"
mirrored statecraft in the counsel between thieves, and made his
Lockit sing"When you censure the age,
Be cautious and sage,
Lest the courtiers offended should be;
If you mention vice or bribe,
'Tis so pat to all the tribe,
Each cries-' That was levelled at me!"'
And if the good-humour of the "Beggars' Opera" conceal from
many eyes its sting, the sequel, "Polly," which the Government
kept from the stage, was as merciless in scorn of the corruption
of what passed for civilised society as Swift when he shaped
exclamations of disgust-" Yah!" "Ugh!" "Yahoo "-into a




INTRODUCTION.


name for the corrupted race. Gay made his poet say, in the
introduction to "Polly "-replying to a player, who said, "I ho;,pe
sir, in the catastrophe you have not run into the absurdity of
your last piece "-" I know that I have been unjustly accusec of
having given up my moral for a joke, like a fine gentlemanl in
conversation; but whatever be the event now, I will not so much
as seem to give up my moral."
He sent his Polly over the seas in search of Captain Macheath,
who had turned pirate. He brought her to an English colony on
a West India Island, steeped in the vices of the civilised. He
painted its corruption with unsparing hand. [He placed the
civilised men in peril from two sides-from MaTheath's pirates
and from the native savages-and then showed them to be rather
below the pirates, and immeasurably below the savages, in dignity
and worth. "With how much ease and unconcern," says the
savage Pohetohee, "these Europeans talk of vices, as if they
were necessary qualifications!"  But who calls Gay a misanthrope?
Swift in a day of many shams desired to make men feel, as
Ben Jonson's Hermes said of the fine courtiers at the close (of
Elizabeth's reign"How far beneath the dignity of man  -
Their serious and most practised actions are.":
Fielding showed not less scorn for the false estimates g f human
greatness when he wrote, in I743, his "Life of Jonathani Wild
the Great" to the hour of his final elevation on the gallows by.death "which, when we consider not only the great men who
have suffered it, but the much larger number of those whose
highest honour it hath been to merit it, we cannot call otherwise
than honourable. Indeed, those who have unluckily missed it
seem all their days to have laboured in vain to attain an end
which Fortune, for reasons only known to herself, hath thought
proper to deny them."  Swift, who said that his method of reforming was by laughing, not by storming, had expressed no morel
than the same feeling when he said



INTRODUCTION.


17


" I, as all the parish knows,
Hardly can be grave in prose;
From the planet of my birth,
I encounter vice with mirth;
Like the ever-laughing sage,
In a jest I spend my rage,
Though it must be understood
I would hang them if I could."
Well, Swift hanged nobody; and Dr. Delany said of him, that
"he laid himself out to do more charities in a greater variety of
ways, and with a better judging discernment, than perhaps any
other man of his fortune in the world." J
In "Gulliver's Travels" Swift wished that he might
-— " the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us,"
by taking points of view detached from our own familiar experiences and prepossessions. All conceptions of height and worth
are comparative. We test by our own standard. Reduce the
mere standard of size, and let an inch stand for a foot in every
measure. Bring an ordinary man into a nation like his own in
which all dimensions are reduced upon the uniform scale of ani
inch to a foot, but the social distinctions, ambitions, jealousies,
and-vanities remain unchanged, with only here and there a touch of
whimsical extravagance thrown in by way of parable. Then such
a change of scale, which is no more than reduction of a foot into
an inch, enables us to look down from our height upon the pride
and ambition that seem so ridiculous in Lilliputians/ If so, how
do we look ourselves in all our strut and struggle oa sordid life,
"Where glory is false glory, attributed
To things not glorious, men not wpthy fame?
'How does this glory of ours show in the).  of higher beings,
or of men who rise above the level of convenon and can know
things as they are, not as they seem?
The small representative of lordly man has a name of contempt
familiar in Swift's time; he was a "put." hBut he was of the
A —         B




I8


INTRODUCTION.


little-lilli-people, as Swift's "little language " phrased it, of '
land of Lilli-put.; "Put" may have been from the Latin " puts..i
a little boy, allied to puer. jBut it was used in Romance languages
-the put and pute of old French, the Spanish and Portuguc-.
puto and puta, the Italian putta-in the sense of boy or g:11
stained by the vices of menel This made it once current in English as a word of scorn; and it has been suggested that the rooc
of the word so used was in the Latin putidus, stinking, disgusting.
This use of the word was probably repeated in Laputa.  The
reader may observe throughout, Swift's care in the adjustment of
dimensions. As six feet make a man tall in England, so in Lilliput he is alike tall of his inches. Carrying the same proportions
into cubic measure, the Lilliputian hogsheads, &c., would be 1728
times smaller than our own. The mathematician, Professor De
Morgan, who was not only master of his art, but a man -of quick
wit, who delighted in the free fancy of fairy tales, and keenly
enjoyed "Gulliver's Travels," used often to amuse himself and
others with illustration of the consistent accuracy of Swift's arithmetic in his accounts of Lilliput and Brobdingnag.
In Brobdingnag Gulliver has the proportions of the Lilliputian.
For every foot of his height, the Brobdingnagian has twelve. An
Englishman six feet high would be represented by a Brobdingnagian seventy feet high, and so forth. In the heights of gr,~d
of trees, of tables, and in every detail of proportionate size, $wift
preserved an accurate consistency. It may be that the name of
Brobdingnag was formed by anagram, after thegnper of the
names in the " Account of the Court and Empire ofjapan," which,
in this volume, follows " Gulliver's Travels." At any rate!bohw
dingnag contains the letters of the words "Grandrg, noble,"
with the final le dropped out. That men might not feel large by
comparing themselves with the Lilliputians, it was necessary to go
on and show men as the Lilliputians in comparison with a race
larger in mind as well as body. Brobdingnag had a king who
could look down with pitv upon the vulgar estimate of hurmn
greatness, as set for.; 'y Cif:tain Gulliver in proud- recital of  ^
history of England.




INTRODUCTION.


I9,Gulliver's experiences in Laputa and adjacent islands were
designed to humble in  pride_ n  his intellect.; Experimental
science in Swift's time was learning its first lesssoris, with many
a fault by the way; but it had already produced a Newton, who,
although he might perhaps sometimes need a flapper to draw his
attention from his studies to his dinner, laid no claim to the
omniscience of those who believe chiefly in the falsest of false
gods-themselves.
"Patient of contradiction as a child,
Affable, humble, diffident, and mild,
Such was Sir Isaac, and such Boyle and Locke,Your blunderer is as sturdy as a rock."
But Newtons are few and blunderers are many. Swift's shafts
against the pride of little knowledge and the glorious army of
projectors, did not want game to follow. Let any reasonable
man, who is supposed to own some halfpence, meditate upon his
own waste-basket, and ask himself how often he has been invited to
take shares in a limited liability company for extracting sunbeams
out of cucumbers. And it is all whimsical and playful in this
third part of the Travels, except one painful touch upon the
wisdom that time and experience should bring to man, and its
humiliation when the years come of the strength that is labour
and sorrow. Then the horror is suggested of an immortality of
such old age, fatal exemption from the rest that follows when
life's work should have been done, and all that has been done
was done to empty life of its best purposes. There are two ways
of looking at the Struldbrug, in whose name it may be no
accident that the words "dust" and "grub" are contained, with
an / and r added to the anagram. WVhen man is as an oak
whose leaf fades, and as a garden without water, his pride of
intellect is humbled. Then let him enter into the rock, and hide
him in the dust. For "the lofty looks of man shall be humbled,
and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the Lord
alone shall be exalted in that day.";Is it nothing but a hard
misanthropy when Swift thus emphasises, after his own strong
way, the voice of Nature?i




20


INTRODUCTION.


Swift's attack upon the self-sufficiency of vice and folly that
infected the familiar usages of life, came properly to its clim.x::
in the last of the four "Voyages," with the vigorous suggestion:! pushed well home, that an intelligent horse, who lives a whci:,-a
some life according to his nature, is a nobler creature than crrupted and perverted man. The Houyhnhnms speak a language
in which frequent recurrence of " hn " suggests a voice of neighing
or whinneying, and their name is evidently formed out of the.
'thin " of the word "whinny." " Hou " represents "wh;" there
-s a similar transformation in Swift's anagram of the word "Whig '
in his "Account of the Court and Empire of Japan." Houyhn
spells therefore "whin;" and the Houyhnhnms must have been
pronounced by the contriver of the name not "Howinims," liut
"Whinnems."   The Yahoos are as evidently named, in manner
before said, from two familiar interjections of disgust. In carrying
out the whimsical idea of the reversal of position between- horse
and man-a horse's carriage drawn by men instead of a man's
carriage drawn by horses; skins of men used by animals, instead
of skins of animals used by men, and so forth-the difficulties of
detail were much greater than in any of the other "Voyages."
Chief difficulty was the suggestion of horses using their iore-hoofs
as hands. Swift grappled with it boldly. He gave the function
of thumb to the pastern, and endeavoured to make all other opetions probable by suggestion that a Houyhnhnm could, by this tse
of his pastern, thread a small needle. Swift's ingenuity was in this
"Voyage," no doubt, taxed to the utmost; but his design required
that he should face its difficulties, in giving reason to the horse,
whose instincts take the way of reason, and who often in this
actual world, even to-day, seems, like the dog, to live a worthier
life than his master. And in rcprese:ting man degraded by his
vices, " earthlv, sensuali devili:-b. as:.zr lower than the brutes,
there was no lowness of purpe!.  't was in harmony with the.
rest of the piece, which had worked ~ra:ually towards a close, like
that of some great symphony, which' gathers all its meaning and
its force of soul into a last thundering ialive with fire.
'Let me add a word upon th e few iunseemly" passage4 in




INTRODUCTION.


21


"Gulliver's Travels.", I have left them all untouched. Not one
of them offends against good morals. There should be no offence
to a sound and pure mind in plain mention of natural conditions
that are but an innocent part of our life as God fashioned it, and as
we know it, man and woman, old and young, by every day's experience. i Swift liked, no doubt, to defy convention where it clouded
the distinction between right and wrong; but in "Gulliver" it is
defied always to good purpose. In Gulliver's extinction of the
fire at the palace of Lilliput, Swift pours out his scorn upon the
vanities of earthly glory.,The whole aim of "Gulliver's Travels"
is to vex men into, consciousness of the false standards by which
they measure life and its duties, to make them look through evil'
that they count their good, use their best reason and hear
Chaucer's call: —
" Here nis none home, here nis but wilderness.
Forth, pilgrim, forth! Forth, beast, out of thy stall!
Know thy contree, look up, thank God of all;
Hold the highway, and let thy ghost thee lede;
And Truth thee shall deliver, it is no drede."
To moralise on life by playful shaping of it into new forms
under new conditions was an old device even in Swift's time.
Lucian in the second century devised "Voyages to the Moon."
I have edited a translation of them in the seventy-first threepenny volume of the " National Library;" and in the twenty-third
volume of my "Universal Library " there will be found the ideal
commonwealths of Lycurgus, of Sir Thomas More and Francis
Bacon, and also Campanella's " City of the Sun," with Dr. William
King's translation of a part of Joseph Hall's "Mundus Alter et
Idem," which describes Crapulia, the land of men who live
chiefly to eat and drink. LThere is one other framer of imagined
commonwealths who preceded Swift, and to whom it has often
been said that Swift was indebted for ideas in his "Gulliver."
That is Cyrano de Bergerac, who wrote playful voyages to
the sun and moon.   To this volume is, therefore, appended
an account of Bergerac, with a description of those voyages,




22


V INTRODUCTION.


which I contributed, to Fraser's Magazine some six-and-thirty
years ago.
Sir Isaac Newton died, eighty-five years old, in March 1727,
when "Gulliver" was newly published, and George the Seconc,
succeeded George the First on the IIth of the next following:
June. I Sir Robert Walpole remained Minister, and Swift's view
of the situation is expressed here in his "Account of the Cour:
and Empire of Japan." LHis satire against Walpole chiefly rest
upon his use of bribery to get a House of Commons that woulc:
carry out his policy., This was one of the many forms of genera
corruption that had come down from the days of the Restoration.
Sir Robert Walpole, in his own way patriotic, was really advancing
England by a policy of peace. But votes were merchandise, and
he bought freely in the open market. Fielding in 1736 caricatured that method in his "Pasquin," where Mr. Trapwit's comedy
called "The Election" and his tragedy called "The Life and
Death of Common Sense " were to be rehearsed. Lord Place and
Colonel Promise meet a Mayor and Corporation. Says my Lord,
"Gentlemen, you may depend on me; I shall do all in my power.
I shall do you some services which are not proper at present to
mention to you jin the meantime, Mr. Mayor, give me leave to
squeeze you by the hand, in assurance of my sincerity." Then
the author, Mr. Trapwit, intervenes in the rehearsal: "You, Mr.,
that act my lord, bribe a little more openly, if you please, or the
audience will lose that joke, and it is one of the strongest in my
whole play." Says the Mr. who represents Lord Place, "Sir, I
cannot possibly do it better at the table." " Then;" says Trapwit,
"get all up, and come forward to the front of the stage. Now,
you gentlemen that act the mayor and aldermen, range yourselves
in a line; and you, my lord and the colonel, come to one end
and bribe away with right and left." "Is this wit, Mr. Trapwit?"
Fustian asks. He is answered, "Yes, sir, it is wit; and such wit
as will run all over the kingdom."-" But, methinks, Colonel
Promise, as you call him, is but ill named; for he is a man of
very few words."-" You'll be of another opinion before the play
is over; at present his hands are too full of business, and you




INTRODUCTION.           3


23


may remember, sir, I before told you this is none of your plays
wherein much is said and nothing done. Gentlemen, are you all
bribed?"-"Yes, sir."-" Then, my lord and the colonel, you
must go off, and make room for the other candidates to come
and bribe too."
) It was Sir Robert Walpole who said " All men have their price,"
and he applied the doctrine frankly to his dealing, not only with
constituencies and members of Parliament, but with Ministers of
State and Kings and Queens. When George the Second became
King, after long opposition to his father, he had no good-will to
his father's Minister. Upon receiving news by courier of the
death of George the First at Hanover, Walpole went from his
house at Chelsea to bear the intelligence to the new King at
Richmond, kissed hands, and asked who should prepare the usual
declaration to the Council. 'It was equivalent to asking who was
to be First Minister at the opening of the new reign. "Sir
Spencer Compton," said his Majesty,-the "Nomtoc" of Swift's
"Account of the Court and Empire of Japan."  "He was," says
Horace Walpole in his "Reminiscences," "Speaker of the House
of Commons, and treasurer, I think, at that time, to his Royal
Highness, who by that first command implied his intention of
making Sir Spencer his Prime Minister. He was a worthy man,
of exceedingly grave formality, but of no parts, as his conduct
immediately proved. The poor gentleman was so little qualified
to accommodate himself to the grandeur [!] of the moment, and
to conceive how a new sovereign should address himself to his
Ministers, and he had also been so far from meditating to supplant
the Premier, that in his distress it was to Sir Robert Walpole
himself he had recourse, and whom he besought to make the new
draft of the King's speech for him." [The new King had a wife
who knew how to manage him in business affairs; part of her
secret being that she left him free to be immoral, and retained
his chief mistress, Mrs. Howard, a quiet woman of her kind, in
friendly companionship among the ladies of her bedchamber. j
Walpole offered to Queen Caroline to ask Parliament to give her
a jointure of ~ioo,ooo a year. Sir Spencer Compton dared not




24


INTRODUCTION.


ask for more than /60o,ooo.  On the King's behalf Walpole
offered to ask for an augmentation of.13O,ooo to the Civil List.
Her Majesty then easily persuaded her husband that Walpole
would serve him better than Sir Spencer Compton, who did not
even know how to draw up an address to the Council without Sir
Robert's help.
It was against this method of controlling public affairs by
bribery and corruption that Swift directed in 1728 his sketch of
the Court and Empire of Japan.J
The next piece in this volume is Swift's essay on "The Fates
of Clergymen." Here the lament was for the little power of
worth or learning, with a simple piety, to win advancement in the
service of the Church of Christ. In Swift's contrast of the two
careers of Corusodes and Eugenio, there was no extravagance,
but fair presentment of types very familiar in his day. The
names express the natures of these clergymen. Corusodes is
named from satiety, as one who has his mouth filled up, a state
leading to peevishness and insolence, which is, therefore, a second
sense of the word x6po;. Eugenio is named for'his good natural
parts, as noble-minded. Him the world passes on the other
side.
From the Church we turn to the Schools in the next essay, and
Swift notes, in the prevalent misapprehension of the use of life
among the nobles of the court, the neglect of a right training for
their sons. In the high offices of State, for want of any trained
ability, sons of the old aristocracy were yielding place to men of
the middle classes, who had been better taught at school to use
their minds, or had made better use of their time. There were
exceptions then, and such exceptions have become in our day
much more numerous; but the modern annals of the racecourseand the records of our courts of law bear witness that Swift's
warnings are not addressed only to the gilded, or the brazern
youth of his own day. "I do by no means," he says, "confine
my remarks to young persons of noble birth; the same errors
running through all families where there is wealth enough to
afford that their sons, at least the eldest, may be good for nothing.




INTRODUCTION.


25


Why should my son be a scholar, when it is not intended that he
should live by his learning? By this rule, if what is commonly
said be true, that 'money answers all things,' why should my son
be honest, temperate, just, or charitable, since he has no intention to depend upon any of these qualities for a maintenance?"
Swift sought to check the growing evil of a numerous nobility
impoverished alike in their minds and their estates. He laid
stress also upon study of the ancient classics. Surely he was
right. Without Latin, that, after Rome had fallen, was for centuries the living language of the men who formed among themselves one great republic of letters, we are as the blind with wisdom at one entrance quite shut out. Even a little Latin has its
use; and if that be not true of a little Greek, thereby the need is
shown for more care to advance the study, that it may remain
through life wherever youth has been happy in the full possession
of its time for quiet training of the mind.
Then follow Swift's "Hints toward an Essay on Conversation."
How would a misanthrope discourse upon the friendly intercourse
of men? In Swift's fashion? Surely not. The essay is goodnatured; its argument is wholly based on the consideration for
others, self-restraint, and unaffected kindliness that should unite
us when we meet in pleasant fellowship.
The blots hit are those which will remain until we have learnt
the two commandments well by heart, and govern life by love to
God and to our neighbour. The monopolist of talk may still take
Swift's hint by " making this easy and obvious reflection, that his
affairs can have no more weight with other men than theirs have
with him; and how little that is, is sensible enough."
From the monopoly of talk by one man in a company, Swift
goes on to the monopoly by two, who happening to find some
common interest between themselves, discourse regardless of their
neighbours, as if they were alone together, but not silent, on a peak
in Darien. Then there is the eagerness of witty men to avoid
plain walking upon level ground of thought, and seize every occasion of displaying themselves as intellectual contortionists. Then
comes the diner-out, who owes his welcome to his power of giving




26


INTR OD UCTION.


idle amusement to an idle world. With him, says Swift, "I only
quarrel when in select and private meetings, where men of wit
and learning are invited to pass an evening, this jester should be
admitted to run over his circle of tricks, and make the w!hole
company unfit for any other conversation."  What is the conversation that this misanthrope would have? Free play of every
mind, with wit and humour when they come unforced; raillery
that is playful turning of a show of blame into reality of praise; no
self-assertion and much active regard to the satisfaction of others;
exercise of the best, not of the worst, part of our human nature,
that we may not abuse that faculty which is held to be the great
distinction between men and brutes; valuing the friendship and
companionship of good women in exchange of thought, and
getting by our way of conversation all the advantage of "that
which might be the greatest, the most lasting, and most innocent
as well as useful pleasure in life."
Next follows the witty "Letter of Advice to a Young Irish
Poet," directed against false literature by a master of the true.
At the heart of it we still find the religious feeling that must be
recognised in Swift if we would know him fairly, and that few
could miss if there were less noise in Vanity Fair.
The last words of Swift in this volume were those which he began
to write on the day of Stella's death, continued on the night of
her funeral, and added to in the next following days. In the
former volume of Swift's writings which contained " The Tale of a
Tub" and other works, I endeavoured to set forth what I believe
to be the true view of the life of Swift, and the essential spirit of his
work. The more he is read by fresh minds, clear of the traditions
of a time of petty strife and petty scandal and corrupted sentiment, the nearer we shall come to a right judgment of the life
and writings of Jonathan Swift  His wit could trifle among
friends, and partly by taint of that insanity which he inherited,
-of which he came to know the symptoms and foresee the end,
and which he resolved, by not marrying as other men do, to avoid
transmitting4to a child,-there were touches of unseemliness that
outraged the conventional proprieties, and touches of half pas



INTRODUCTION.


27


sionate, half whimsical exaggeration in expression of what he
strongly felt. Most deeply of all he felt, when he understood the
meaning of the giddiness, deafness, and headaches that began their
occasional attacks upon him in his early manhood, the dread
of dying as his uncle Godwin died. It was that which caused
him to read on his birthday the third chapter of Job, in which
Job cursed his birth, and said, " Let the day perish wherein I was
born," and desired to be where the wicked cease from troubling
and the weary are at rest. "Why," says Job, "is the light given
to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?.
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that
which I was afraid of is come unto me." The recognition of that
hidden sorrow is the key to the cheif difficulties in interpretation
of the life of Swift. Hidden it had to remain. The revelation of it
in those miserable days would have struck down his influence for
good. "Why mind Swift?" it would be asked. "Has he not
told us himself that he is on the road to idiocy?"  When young
Johnson had such a dread, and sent a Latin statement of
his symptoms to Dr. Swinfen, his godfather and friend, it hurt
him deeply that his friend, in pride over its clear statement of
symptoms and its good Latinity, had shown to other friends the
paper that revealed the secret trouble of his soul. Swift's inner
dread, it was remembered afterwards, had not been wholly concealed. "I have often," wrote Lord Orrery in his twenty-first
letter on Swift to his son-" I have often heard him lament the
state of childhood and idiotism to which some of the greatest
men of this nation were reduced before their death. He mentioned as examples within his own time the Duke of Marlborough
and Lord Somers; and when he cited these melancholy instances,
it was always with a heavy sigh, and with gestures that showed
great uneasiness, as if he felt an impulse of what was to happen
to him before he died."
Think of Swift with his head bowed over his paper as he began,
an hour before midnight, to paint in words his picture of the
woman he had loved, and loved, and loves; within whose coffin
he seems to have contrived that he should lie by her. Many




28


INTRODUCTION.


years after his death the two bodies were found in the same coffin,
and by his own instruction Swift had been buried privately at
twelve o'clock at night. See how he loved her:-" The truest,
most virtuous, and valuable friend that I, or perhaps any other
person, was ever blessed with," who never swerved'from principles
of honour and virtue "in any one action or moment of her life."
She had "every feature of her face in perfection."  "Never was
any of her sex born with better gifts of the mind, or who more
improved them by reading and conversation.... I cannot call
to mind that I ever once heard her make a wrong judgment of
persons, books, or affairs."  Here is the glamour of love in the
youth of seventeen behind the tears of the old man. "She had
a gracefulness something more than human in every motion,
word, and action. Some of us have written down several of her
sayings, or what the French call bons mots, wherein she excelled
almost beyond belief."  We look at the little collection he has
made, that fills two pages, and think perhaps that love had blindfolded the judgment of the master-wit. Then he breaks down"my head aches and I can.write no more"-to begin again on
the night of the funeral which his sickness would not suffer him
to attend, removed to another room that he may not see the
lights in the church. So he went on recalling with his pen the
image of the woman among women who would never again in
this world, except through memories and hopes, speak peace to
his bruised spirit. -Yet still among good women Swift had many
friendships. "You would have smiled," wrote Lord Orrery to
his son, "to have found his house a constant seraglio of very
virtuous women, who attended him from morning till night, with
an obedience, an awe, and an assiduity that are seldom paid to
the richest or the most powerful lovers; no, not even to the
Grand Seignior himself." Why did good women gather about
Swift and honour him? Swift's writings, fairly read, enable us to
know.
When Swift, chiefly to endeavour to serve Ireland, partly to
see to the publishing of "Gulliver," returned to London, after
twelve years' absence, in March I726, Stella's health, long fail



INTRODUCTION.


29


ing, caused intense anxiety for news from Ireland, that should be
quick, frequent, and above all true. Of the possibility of her
death he said, "I look upon this to be the greatest event that
can ever happen to me; but all my preparations will not suffice
to let me bear it like a philosopher, nor altogether like a Christian."
He left London on the 5th of August to return to Stella, having
failed in his endeavours to move statesmen to his views of what
ought to be done for Ireland, and having sent " Gulliver" to press,
though keeping himself out of the negotiation. He returned to
England on the 9th of April I727, and was in London when
George the First died, on the Ilth of June. In September 1727,
troubled with ill news of Stella's health, Swift left London never
to return. His love for his friends remained. John Gay died in
December I732, and John Arbuthnot died in February I735.
"The death of Mr. Gay and the Doctor," Swift wrote to Pope
from Ireland, "have been terrible wounds near my heart. Their
living would have been a great comfort to me, although I should
never have seen them; like a sum of money in a bank, from
which I should receive at least annual interest, as I do from you,
and have done from Lord Bolingbroke."
When Swift was left to end his course of life alone, with nothing
left of Stella but the lock of hair in a paper upon which he wrote,
" Only a woman's hair," Swift did not sullenly forsake his friends
or turn from the duties of life; though the disease was growing
that would quench his reason, and the light was gone out of his
life, and he seemed to be harder in his loneliness. He sought to
maintain the old ways of playful kindliness among his friends, and
he wrote pamphlets, labouring with all his might, by reason and
fierce wit, to force men to know and to take thought for the distresses of the Irish people. In I735 Swift made his first will, in
which he bequeathed the whole of his savings-eleven or twelve
thousand pounds-to found an Hospital for Idiots and Lunatics.
Out of the sense of his own great affliction came this act of pity.
Such as these, if he had married, his own children might have
grown to be. He would have these for his heirs. There was
work at the details of this bequest till May 1740, when Swift's




30


INTROD UCTION.,


final will was signed. His intellectual life was then very near its
close. In the preceding year, failures of memory made conversation difficult. The disease of brain, which in his younger days had
produced attacks of giddiness and deafness and caused painful
headache, had been long growing, without " breaking down! theh
pales and forts of reason," but at last they fell. Here is a let-er
of Swift's written in July 1740 to Mrs. Whiteway, a first cousiu of
his, who came from her own house at the other end of Dublin
three days in each week to read and chat with him after Steqla's
death:"I have been very miserable all night, and to-day extrer.ely
deaf and full of pain. I am so stupid and confounded, that I
cannot express the mortification I am under both in body;:.d
mind. All I can say is, that I am not in torture; but I daily:<mnd
hourly expect it. Pray, let me know how your health is, and iour
family. I hardly understand one word I write. I am sure! my
days will be very few: few and miserable they must be.
"I am, for those few days, yours entirely,
"JON. SWIFrT.
"If I do not blunder, it is Saturday, July 26, 1740."
In January 1742 he paced his room in agony ten hours a Lay.
In March of that year guardians were appointed for him by the
Court of Chancery. Still he sought to pray, the Lord's Priyer
alone remaining in his mind. In September 1742 there was
violent inflammation that settled as a painful abscess in the:ye.
"In one night's time," says good Mrs. Whiteway, "his left eye
swelled as large as an egg, and the lid, Mr. Nichols (his surgeon)
thought, would mortify, and many large boils appeared upon his
arms and body. The torture he was in is not to be describ:ed.
Five persons could scarce hold him, for a week, from tearing out
his own eyes, and for near a month he did not sleep two hours in
twenty-four, yet a moderate appetite continued; and what is more
to be wondered at, the last day of his illness he knew me perfectly
well, took me by the hand, called me by my name, and showed




INTRODUCTION.                    31
the same pleasure as usual in seeing me. I asked him if he would
give me a dinner? He said, ' To be sure, my old friend.' Thus
he continued that day, and knew the doctor and surgeon and all
his family so well, that Mr. Nichols thought it possible he might
return to a share of understanding, so as to be able to call foi
what he wanted, and to bear some of his old friends to amuse
him. But alas! this pleasure to me was but of short duration;
for the next day or two it was all over, and proved to be only pain
that had roused him. He is now free from torture; his eye almost
well; very quiet, and begins to sleep, but cannot, without great
difficulty, be prevailed on to walk a turn about his room; and
yet in this way the physicians think he may hold out for some
time."
He held out until the i9th October I745, when he died at the
age of seventy-eight; and crowds of Irishmen gathered about the
door of the Dean, who had befriended them, to beg a hair of him
for memory.
H. M.












-






-


m


TRAVELS
INTO SEVERAL
Remote NATIONS
OF THE
WORLD.




i


In FOUR PARTS.




By LEMUEL GULLIVER,
Firft a SURGEON, and then a CAPTAIN of feveral SHIPS.
VOL. I.
LONDON.
Printed for BENJ. MOTTE, at the
Middle Temple-Gate in Fleet-ftreet.
MDCCXXVI...,,,,


* I




c




I




PART      I.
A Voyage to Lillizut.
PART      II.
A Voyage to Brobdizgza. -
PA R T    III.
A Voyage to Lapzta, Balnibarbi, Luggnagg, Glubdubdrib, and Japan.
PART      IV.
A Voyage to the Country of
the Hozuyhnhnms.




THE
PUBLISHER
TO    TH E
R E A D E R.
H E Author of thefe Travels, Mr. Lemuel
Gulliver, is my antient and intimateFriend; there is likewife fome Relation,:
between us by the Mother's Side. About'
three Years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the
Concourfe of curious People coming to him, at his
Houfe in Redriff, made a fmall Purchafe of Land,
with a convenient Houfe, near Newark in Notting-:
hamjhire, his Native Country; where he now lives
retired, yet in good Efteem among his Neighbours.
ALTHOUGH Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghanzmire, where his Father dwelt, yet I have heard&
him fay, his Family came from OxfordJhire; to cohfirtn




THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.


37


firm which, I have obferved in the Church-Yard at
Bannbury, in that County, feveral Tombs and Monuments of the Gullivers.
BEFORE he quitted Redriff, he left the Cuftody
of the following Papers in my Hands, with the
liberty to difpole of them as I fhould think fit. I
have carefully perufed them three Times: The
Style is very plain and fimple; and the only Fault I
find is, that the Author, after the Manner of Travellers, is a little too Circumftantial.  There is an
Air of Truth apparent through the Whole; and indeed, the Author was fo diftinguifhed for his Veracity, that it became a fort of Proverb among his
Neighbours at Redz'if, when any one affirm'd a
Thing, to fay, it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had
fpoke it.
BY the Advice of feveral worthy Perfons, to
whom, with the Author's Permiffion, I communicated thefe Papers, I now venture to fend them into
the World, hoping they may be at leaft, for fome
time, a better Entertainment to our young Noblemen, than the common Scribbles of Politicks and
Party.
THIs Volume would have been at leaft twice as
large, if I had not made bold to ftrike out innumerable




38      THE PUBLISHER tO THE READER.
rable Paffages relating to the Winds and Tides, as
well as to the Variations and Bearings in the feveral
Voyages; together with the minute Defcriptions of
the Management of the Ship in Storms, in the Style
of Sailors: Likewife the Account of the Longitudes
and Latitudes; wherein I have Reafon to apprehend
that Mr. Gulliver may be a little diffatisfied: But I
was refolved to fit the Work as much as poffible to
the general Capacity of Readers. However, if my
own Ignorance in Sea-Affairs fhall have led me to
commit fome Miftakes, I alone am anfwerable for
them: And if any Traveller hath a Curiofity to fee
the whole Work at large, as it came from the Hand
of the Author, I fhall be ready to gratify him.
As for any further Particulars relating to the
Author, the Reader will receive Satisfadion from
the firft Pages of the Book.
RICHARD SYMPSON.






TRAVELS
INTO SEVERAL
Remote NATIONS
OF THE
WORLD.
PART  I.
A VOYAGE to LILLIPUT.


LONDON.
Printed in the Year MDCCXXVI....











T H E
THE
CONTENTS.
CHAP. I.
T     HE Author gives fome Account of himfef and Family. His
firJft nducements to travel. He is Jlipwreck'd, andSwims
for his Life; Gets fafe on S/oar in the Country of Lilliput:
is made a Pri/oner, and carry'd up the Country.  Page 43.
CHAP. II.
The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by feveral of the Nobility, come
tofee the Author in his Confinement.  The Emperor's Perfon
and Habit defcribed.  Learned Men appointed to teach the
Author their Language.  He gains favour by his mild Difpofition.  lis Pockets are fearch'd, and his Sword and Piflols
takenfrom himn.                                   p. 54.
CHAP. III.
1he Author diverts the Emperor and his Nobility of both Sexes, in
a very uncommon manner.   The DiverJfons of the Court of
Lilliput defcrib'd.  The Author has his Liberty granted hilm,
upon certain Conditions.                          p. 64.
CHAP. IV




42


THE CONTENTS.


CHAP.     IV.
Mildendo, the Metropolis of Lilliput, defcrib'd, together wit, the
Emperor's Palace.   A  Converfation between the Author and
a principfal Secretary, concerning the Affairs of that Eivjirpi.
The Author's Ofers toferve the Emperor in his Wars. po 7.
CHAP. V.
The Author by an extraordinary Stratagem, prevents an Invafion.
A high Title of Honour is conferred upon him.  Embaffadors
arrive from the Emneror of Blefufcu and fue for Peace.  Te
Emprefs's Apartment on fire by an Accident.    The Author
inflrumental infaving the reft of the Palace.  '     p 77.
CHAP. VI.
Of the Inhabitants of Lilliput, their Learning, Laws and Cuftoa,
the Manner of educating their Children.  The Auzthos way
of living in that Country.  His Vindication of a great Lady.
P. 84
CHAP. VII.
The Author being inform'd of a Djign to accufe him    of Lio
Treafon, makes his Efcape to Blefufcu. lis Reception thre.
CHAP. VIII.
The Author, by a lucky Accident,finds Means to leave Blefufcy, ard
afterfome Difficulties returns fafe to his native Country.\








7Pla..e.IPart


1 Good' Fr- tune
-I Naffow
SULND A.4-6
BlefuA'cu
Dcovered,A-D.1699.
LI LLIPUT


Iace


[fI  Pt. I, Ih 43




TRAVELS.
PART I.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
CHAPTER I.
The Author gives some Account of himself and Family, his first
Inducements to travel. He is shipwzrecked, and swims for his
Life, gets safe on shoar in the Country of Lilliput, is made a
Prisoner, and carryed zup the Country.
M   Y Father had a small Estate in ANottinghamshire; I was the
Third of Fiveons. He sent me to Emanuel College in
Cambridge, at Fourteen Years old, where I resided three Years,
and applyed my self close to my Studies; But the Charge of
maintaining me (although I had a very scanty Allowance) being
too great for a narrow Fortune, I was bound Apprentice to Mr.
James Bates, an eminent Surgeon in London, with whom I continued four Years; and my Father now and then sending me
small Sums of Money, I laid them out in learning Navigation,
and other Parts of the Mathematicks, useful to those who intend
to travel, as I always believed it would be some time or other
my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down to my
Father; where by the Assistance of Him and my Uncle John,
and some other Relations, I got Forty Pounds, and a Promise of
Thirty Pounds a Year to maintain me at Leyden; There I studied
L.




44


G-ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Physick two Years and seven Months, knowing it would be useful
in long Voyages.
Soon after my Return from Leyden, I was recommended by my
good Master Mr. Bates, to be Surgeon to the Swallow, Captain
Abraham Pannell Commander; with whom I continued three
Years and a half, making a Voyage or two into the Levant, and
some other Parts. When I came back, I resolved to settle in
London, to which Mr. Bates, my Master, encouraged me, and by
him I was recommended to several Patients. I took Part of a
small House in the Old Jury; and being advised to alter my
Condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second Daughter to Mr.
Edmond Burton, Hosier in Newgate-Street, with whom 1 received
four Hundred Pounds for a Portion.
But, my good Master Bates dying in two Years after, and I
having few Friends, my Business began to fail; for my Conscience would not suffer me to imitate the bad Practice of too
many among my Brethren. Having therefore consulted with my
Wife, and some of my Acquaintance, I determined to go again to
Sea. I was Surgeon successively in two Ships, and made several
Voyages, for six Years, to the East and West-Indzes, by-which I
got some Addition to my Fortune. My Hours of LeisureI spent
in reading the best Authors antient and modern, being always
provided with a good Number of Books; and when I was ashore,
in observing the Manners and Dispositions of the People, as well
as learning their Language, wherein I had a great Facility by
the Strength of my Memory.
The last of these Voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew
weary of the Sea, and intended to stay at home with my Wife
and Family. I removed from the Old Jury to Fetter-Lane, and
from thence to Wapping, hoping to get' Business among the
Sailors; but it would not turn to account. After three Years
Expectation that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous
Offer from Captain William Prichard, Master of the Antelope,
who was making a Voyage to the South-Sea.    We set sail
from Bristol, May 4th, 1699, and our Voyage at first was veryprosperous.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


45


It would not be proper, for some Reasons, to trouble the
Reader with the Particulars of our Adventures in those Seas:
Let it suffice to inform him, that in our Passage from thence to
the East-Indies, we were driven by a violent Storm to the Northwest of Van Dicmen's Land. By an Observation, we found ourselves in the Latitude of 30 Degrees 2 Minutes South. Twelve
of our Crew were dead by immoderate Labour, and ill Food, the
rest were in a very weak Condition. On the fifth of November,
which was the Beginning of Summer in those Parts, the Weather
being very hazy, the Seamen spied a Rock, within half a Cable's
Length of the Ship; but the Wind was so strong, that we were
driven directly upon it, and immediately split. Six of the Crew,
of whom I was one, having let down the Boat into the Sea, made
a shift to get clear of the Ship, and the Rock. We rowed by my
Computation about three Leagues, till we were able to work no
longer, being already spent with Labour while we were in the
Ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the Mercy of the Waves,
and in about half an Hour the Boat was overset by a sudden
Flurry from the North. What became of my Companions in the
Boat, as well as of those who escaped on the Rock, or were left
in the Vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost. For
my own part, I swam as Fortune directed me, and was pushed
forward by Wind and Tide. I often let my Legs drop, and could
feel no Bottom: But when I was almost gone, and able to struggle
no longer, I found myself within my Depth; and by this time the
Storm was much abated. The Declivity was so small, that I
walked near a Mile before I got to the Shore, which I conjectur'd was about eight a-clock in the Evening. I then advanced
forward near half a Mile, but could not discover any sign of
Houses or Inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a Condition,
that I did not observe them. I was extreamly tired, and with
that, and the Heat of the Weather, and about half-a Pint of
Brandy that I drank as I left the Ship, I found myself much
inclined to sleep. I lay down on the Grass, which was very
short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remember to
have done in my Life, and as I reckoned, above nine Hours;




46


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


for when I awaked, it was just Day-light. I attempted to ri'se
but was not able to stir: For as I happen'd to lye on my Back,
I found my Arms and Legs were strongly fastened on each
side to the Ground; and my Hair, which was long and thick,
tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender
Ligatures across my Body, from my Armpits to my Thighs.  I
could only look upwards, the Sun began to grow hot, and the
Light offended mine Eyes. I heard a confused Noise about me,
but in the Posture I lay, could see nothing except the Sky. In a
little Time I felt something alive moving on my left Leg, which
advancing gently forward over my Breast, came almost up to my
Chin; when bending mine Eyes downwards as much as I could,
I perceived it to be a human Creature not six Inches high, with a
Bow and Arrow in his Hands, and a Quiver at his Back. In the
mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost Astonishment,
and roared so loud, that they all ran back in- a Fright; and some
of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the Falls they
got by leaping from my sides upon the Ground. However, they
soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as to get a
full sight of my Face, lifting up his Hands and Eyes by Way of
Admiration, cryed out in a shrill, but distinct Voice, Hekinah
Degul: The others repeated the same Words several times, but
then knew not what they meant. I lay all this while, as the
Reader may believe, in great Uneasiness: at length, struggling to
get loose, I had the fortune to break the Strings, and wrench out
the Pegs that fastened my left Arm to the Ground; for, by lifting
it up to my Face, I discover'd the Methods they had taken to
bind me, and, at the same Time, with a violent Pull, which gave,
me excessive Pain, I a little loosened the Strings that tied down
my Hair on the left Side, so that I was just able to turn my Head
about two Inches.  But the Creatures ran off a second time,
before I could seize them; whereupon there was a great Shout in
a very shrill Accent, and after it ceased, I heard one of them cry
aloud, Tolgo Phonac; when in an instant I felt above an hundred
Arrows discharged on my left Hand, which pricked me like so




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


47


many Needles; and besides they shot another Flight into the
Air, as we do Bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on
my Body, (though I felt them not) and some on my Face, which
I immediately covered with my left Hand. When this Shower of
Arrows was over, I fell a groaning with Grief and Pain, and then
striving again to get loose, they discharged another Volly larger
than the first, and some of them attempted with Spears to stick
me in the Sides; but, by gook luck, I had on me a Buff Jerkin,
which they could not pierce. I thought it the most prudent
Method to lie still, and my design was to continue so till Night,
when my left Hand being already loose, I could easily free
myself: And as for the Inhabitants, I had reason to believe I
might be a match for the greatest Armies they could bring against
me, if they were all of the same Size with him that I saw. But
Fortune disposed otherwise of me. When the People observed
I was quiet, they discharged no more Arrows: But by the Noise
I heard, I knew their Numbers encreased; and about four Yards
from me, over against my right Ear, I heard a knocking for above
an Hour, like that of people at work; when turning my Head
that Way as well as the Pegs and Strings would permit me, I saw
a Stage erected about a foot and a half from the Ground, capable
of holding four of the Inhabitants, with two or three Ladders to
mount it: From whence one of them, who seemed to be a Person
of Quality, made me a long Speech, whereof I understood not
one Syllable.  But I should have mentioned, that before the
principal Person began his Oration, he cryed out three times
Langro De/lZ san: (these Words and the former were afterwards
repeated and explained to me.) Whereupon immediately about
fifty of the Inhabitants, came and cut the Strings that fastened the
left Side of my Head, which gave me the Liberty of turning it to
the right, and of observing the Person and Gesture of him that
was to speak. He appeared to be of a middle Age, and taller
than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one was a
Page that held up his Train, and seemed to be somewhat longer
than my middle Finger; the other two stood one on each side to
support him. He acted every part of an Orator, and I could




48


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


observe many Periods of Threatnings, and others of Promises,
Pity and Kindness. / I answered in a few Words, but in the most
submissive Manner, lifting up my Left Hand and both mine Eyes
to the Sun, as calling him for a Witness; and being almost
famished with Hunger, having not eaten a Morsel for some
Hours before I left the Ship, I found the Demands of Nature so
strong upon me, that I could not forbear shewing my Impatience
(perhaps against the strict Rules of Decency) by putting my
Finger frequently on my Mouth, to signify that I wanted Food.
The Hurgo (for so they call a great Lord, as I afterwards learnt)
understood me very well. He descended from the Stage, and
commanded that several Ladders should be applyed to my Sides,
on which above an hundred of the Inhabitants mounted, and
walked towards my Mouth, laden with Baskets full of Meat,
which had been provided, and sent thither by the King's Orders
upon the first Intelligence he received of me. I observed there
was the Flesh of several Animals, but could not distinguish them
by the Taste. There were Shoulders, Legs and Loins shaped like
those of Mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the
Wings of a Lark. I eat them by two or three at a mouthful,
and took three Loaves at a time, about the Bigness of Musket
Bullets. They supplyed me as they could, shewing a thiA  d
Marks of wonder and astonishment at my Bulk and AppQtfle
I then made another Sign that I wanted Drink. They found:yd
my eating that a small Quantity would not suffice me, and bei'g
a most ingenious People, they slung up with great Dexterity one
of their largest Hogsheads, then rolled it towards my Hand, and
beat out the Top; I drank it off at a Draught, which I might well
do, for it did not hold half a Pint, and tasted like a small Wine of
Burgundy, but much more delicious. They brought me a second
Hogshead, which I drank in the same manner, and made Signs for
more, but they had none to give me. When I had performed
these Wonders, they shouted for Joy, and danced upon myl/ ias^
repeating several times as they did at first, Hekinah Degu. ' They
made me a Sign that I should throw down the two Hogsheadsi
but first warning the People below to stand out of the way, crying




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


49


aloud, Borach Mivola, and when they saw the Vessels in the Air,
there was an universal shout of Hekinah Degul. I confess I was
often tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards
on my Body, to seize Forty or Fifty of the first that came in my
reach, and dash them against the Ground. But the Remembrance
of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst they
could do, and the Promise of Honour I made them, for so I
interpreted my submissive Behavour, soon drove out these Imaginations. Besides, I now consider'd my self as bound by the
Laws of Hospitality to a People who had treated me with so much
Exp ence and Magnificence. However, in my Thoughts I could
not sufficiently wonder at the Intrepidity of these diminutive
Mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk upon my Body,
while one of my Hands was at liberty, without trembling at the
very sight of so prodigious a Creature as I must appear to them.
After some time, when they observ'd that I made no more
Demands for Meat, there appeared before me a Person of high
Rank from his Imperial Majesty. His excellency having mounted
on the small of my right Leg, advanced forwards up to my Face,
with about a Dozen of his Retinue. And producing his Credentials under the Signet Royal, which he applyed close to mine
Eyes, spoke about ten Minutes, without any Signs of Anger, but
with a kind of determinate Resolution; often pointing forwards,
which as I afterwards found, was towards the Capital City, about
half a Mile distant, whither it was agreed by his Majesty in
Council that I must be conveyed. I answered in few words, but
to no purpose, and made a Sign with my Hand that was loose,
putting it to the other (but over his Excellency's Head, for fear of
hurting him or his Train) and then to my own Head and Body,
to signify that I desired my Liberty. It appeared that he understoook me well enough, for he shook his Head by way of Disapprobation, and held his Hand in a Posture to shew that I must
be carried as a Prisoner. However, he made other Signs to let
me understand that I should have Meat and Drink enough, and
very good Treatment.  Whereupon I once more thought of
attempting to break my Bonds, but again, when I felt the Smart
D




So


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


of their Arrows, upon my Face and Hands, which were all in
Blisters, and many of the Darts still sticking in them, and observing likewise that the Number of my Enemies encreased, I gave
Tokens to let them.know that they might do with me what they
pleased. Upon this the Hurgo and his Train withdrew with
much Civility and chearful Countenances. Soon after I heard a
general Shout, with frequent repetitions of the Words, Peplom
Selan, and I felt great Numbers of the People on my Left Side
relaxing the Cords to such a degree, that,argable to turn upon
my Right, and to ease myself with making Water; which I very
plentifully did, to the great Astonishment of the People, who conjecturing by my Motions what I was going to do, immediately
opened to the right and left on that side to avoid the Torrent
which fell with such noise and violence from me. But before
this, they had dawbed my Face and both my Hands with a sort
of Ointment very pleasant to the Smell, which in a few Minutes
removed all the Smart of their Arrows. These Circumstances
added to the Refreshment I had received by their Victuals and
Drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I
slept about eight Hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was
no wonder, for the Physicians, by the Emperor'S. Order, had
mingled a sleepy Potion in the Hogsheads of Wine.
It seems that upon the first Moment I was discovered sleeping
on the Ground after my Landing, the Emperor had early Noti_"e
of it by an, Express, and determined in Council that I should '
tyed in the Manner I have related (which was done in the Nig.'
while I slept), that Plenty of Meat and Drink should be sent,
me, and a Machine prepared to carry me to the Capital City.;,:
This Resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dagroi,
and I am confident would not be immitated bany Prnc   in
Europe on the like Occasion; however, in my.Opnion it.
-ereamy           aswell as generous. For supposing these
People had endeavourid to kill me with their Spears and' Ar: ows
while I was asleep, I should certainly have waked with the first
sense of Smart, which might so far have rouzed my Rage and
Strength, as to have enabled me to break the Strings wherewith i




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


5I1


was tied; after which, as they were not able to make Resistance,
so they could expect no Mercy.
These People are most excellent Mathematicians, and arriv'd
to a great Perfection in Mechanicks by the Countenance and
Encouragement of the Emperor, who is a renowned Patron of
Learning. This Prince hath several Machines fixed on Wheels
for the Carriage of Trees and other great Weights. He often
builds his largest Men of War, whereof some are nine Foot long,
in the Woods where the Timber grows, and has them carried on
these Engines three or four hundred Yards to the Sea. Five
Hundred Carpenters and Engineers were immediately set at work
to prepare the greatest Engine they had. It was a Frame of
Wood raised three Inches from the Ground, about seven Foot
long and four wide, moving upon twenty two Wheels. The
Shout I heard was upon the Arrival of this Engine, which it
seems set out in four Hours after my Landing. It was brought
parallel to me as I lay. But the principal Difficulty was to raise
and place me in this Vehicle. Eighty Poles, each of one Foot
high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong Cords of the
bigness of Packthread were fastned by Hooks to many Bandages,
which the Workmen had girt round my Neck, my Hands, my
Body, and my Legs. Nine hundred of the strongest Men were
employed to draw up these Cords by many Pulleys fastned on the
Poles, and thus in less than three Hours, I was raised and slung
into the Engine, and there tyed fast. All this I was told, for
while the whole Operation was performing, I lay in a profound
sleep, by the force of that soporiferous Medicine infused into my
Liquor. Fifteen Hundred of the Emperor's largest Horses, each
about four Inches and an half high, were employed to draw
me towards the Metropolis, which, as I said, was half a Mile
distant.
About four Hours after we began our Journey, I awakened by
a very ridiculous Accident; for the Carriage being stopt a while
to adjust something that was out of order, two or three of the
young Natives had the Curiosity to see how I looked when I was
asleep; they climbed up into the Engine, and advancing very




52


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


softly to my Face, one of them, an Officer in the Guard:s,. puL:thi
sharp end of his Half-pike a good way up into my left Nosstrl,
which tickled my Nose like a Straw, and made me s  veeze violently: whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three
Weeks before I knew the cause of my awaking so suddenly. We
made a long March the remaining part of that Day, and rested at
Night with five hundred Guards on each side of me, half with
Torches, and half with Bows and Arrows, ready to shoot me if I
should offer to stir. The next Morning at Sun-rise we continued
our March, and arrived within two hundred Yards of the CityGates about Noon. The Emperor, and all his Court, came out
to meet us, but his great Officers would by no means suffer his
Majesty to endanger his Person by mounting on my Body.
At the Place where the Carriage stopt, there stood an antient
Temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole Kingdom, which
having been polluted some Years before by an unnatral Murder,
was, according-to the Zeal of those People, looked on as prophane,
and therefore had been' applied to common Use, and all the
Ornaments and Furniture carried away, In this Edifice it was
determined I should lodge.  The great Gate fronting to the
North, was about four Foot high, and almost two Foot wide,
through which I could easily creep. On each Side of the Gate
was a small Window not above six Inches from the Ground: into
that on the Left Side, the King's Smiths conveyed fourscore and
eleven Chains, like those that hang to a Lady's Watch in Europe,
and almost as large, which were locked to my left Leg with six
and thirty Padlocks. Overagainst this Temple, on t'other side of
the great Highway, at twenty Foot distance, there was a Turret at
least five Foot high. Here the Emperor ascended with many
principal Lords of his Court, to have an opportunity of viewing
me, as I was told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned
that above an hundred thousand Inhabitants came out of the
Town upon the same Errand; and in spight of my Guards, I
believe there could not'be fewer than ten thousand, at several
times, who mounted upon my Body by the help of Ladders. But
a Proclamation was soon issued to forbid it upon pain of Death.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.                 53
When the Workmen found it was impossible for me to break
loose, they cut all the Strings that bound me; whereupon I rose
up with as melancholy a Disposition as ever I had in my Life.
But the noise and astonishment of the People at seeing me rise
and walk are not to be expressed. The Chains that held my left
Leg were about two Yards long, and gave me not only the Liberty
of walking backwards and forwards in a Semicircle; but being
fixed within Four Inches of the Gate, allowed me to creep in, and
lie at my full length in the Temple.




54


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER II.
The Imperor of Lilliput, aftended by several of the Nobility, come
to see the Author in his Confinement.  The Emnperor's Person
and Habit describ'd.  Learned Men appointed to teach the
Author their Language. He gains Favour by his mild Disposition. His Pockets are searched, and his Sword and Pistols
taken from him.
W    HEN I found myself on my Feet, I lookedoabout me, and
must confess I never beheld a more entertaining Prospect.
The Country round appeared like a continued Garden, and the
inclosed Fields, which were generally forty Foot square, resembled
so many Beds of Flowers. These Fields were intermingled with
Woods of half a stang, and the tallest Trees, as I could judge,
appeared to be seyen Foot high. I viewed the Town on my
left hand, which lo ked like the painted Scene' of a City in a
Theatre.
I had been for some Hours extremely pressed by the Necessities of Nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two Days
since I had last disburthened myself. I was under great Difficulties between Urgency and Shame. The best Expedient I
could think on, was to creep into my House, which I accordingly
did; and shutting the Gate after me, I went as far as the length
of my Chain would suffer, and discharged my Body of. that uneasy
Load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly
an Action; for which I cannot but hope the candid Reader will
give some Allowance, after he hath maturely and impartially
considered my Case, and the Distress I was in. From this time
my constant Practice was, as soon as I rose, to perform that




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


55


Business in open Air, at the full Extent of my Chain, and due
Care was taken every Morning before Company came, that the
offensive Matter should be carried off in Wheel-barrows by two
Servants appointed for that Purpose. I would not have dwelt so
long upon a Circumstance, that perhaps at first sight may appear
not very momentuous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify
my Character in point of Cleanliness to the World; which I am
told some of myMaligners have beplea, upon this and
other Occasions, to call in question.
When this Adventure was at an end, I came back out of my
House, having occasion for fresh Air. The Emperor was already
descended from the Tower, and advancing on Horse-back towards
me, which had like to have cost him dear; for the Beast, though
very well trained, yet wholly unused to such a Sight, which
appeared as if a Mountain moved before him, reared up on his
hinder Feet: But that Prince, who is an excellent Horse-Man,
kept his Seat, till his Attendants ran in, and held the Bridle,
while his Majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he
surveyed me round with great Admiration, but kept without the
length of my Chain. He ordered his Cooks and Butlers, who
were already prepared to give me Victuals and Drink, which they
pushed forward in a sort of Vehicles upon Wheels till I could
reach them. I took these Vehicles, and soon emptied them all;
twenty of them were filled with Meat, and ten with Liquor, each
of the former afforded me two or three good Mouthfuls, and I
emptied the Liquor of ten Vessels, which was contained in
earthen Vials, into one Vehicle, drinking it off at a Draught, and
so I did with the rest. The Empress, and young Princes of the
Blood, of both Sexes, attended by many Ladies, sat at some
distance in their Chairs, but upon the Accident that happened to
the Emperor's Horse, they alighted, and came near his Person,
which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the
breadth of my Nail, than any of his Court, which alone is enough
to strike an Awe into the Beholders. His Features are strong
and masculine, with an Austrian Lip and arched Nose, his Complexion olive, his Countenance erect, his Body and Limbs well




GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his Deportment
majestick. He was then past his Prime, being twenty-eight
Years and three Quarters old, of which he had reigned about
seven, in great Felicity, and generally victorious. For the better
convenience of beholding him, I lay on - my Side, so that my Face
was parallel to his, and he stood but three Yards off: However,
I have had him since many times in my Hand, and therefore
cannot be deceived in the Description. His Dress was very
plain' and simple, and the Fashion of it between the Asiatick and
the European: but he had^on his Head a light Helmet of Gold,
adorned with Jewels, and a Plume on the Crest.  He held
his Sword drawn in his Hand, to defend himself, if I should
happen to break loose; it was almost three Inches long, the Hilt
and Scabbar, were Gold, enriched with Diamonds. His Voice
was shrill, but very clear and articulate, and I could distinctly
hear it when I stood up. The Ladies and Courtiers were all
most magnificently clad, so that the Spot they stood upon seemed
to resemble a Petticoat spread on the Ground, embroidered with
Figures of Gold and Silver. His Imperial Majesty spoke often to
me,t~and I returned Answers, but neither of is could understand
a Syllable. There were several of his Priests and Lawyers present
(as I conjectured by their Habits) who were commanded to address
themselves to me, and I spoke to them in as many Languages as
I had the least smattering of, which were High and Low;   Duch,
Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franca; but all to
no purpose. After about two Hours the Court retired, and I was
left with a strong Guard, to prevent the Impertinence, -and probably the Malice of the Rabble, who were very impatient to
croud about me as near as they durst, and some of them had
the Impudence to shoot their Arrows at me as I' sate orn the
Ground by the Door of my House, whereof one very narrowly
missed my left Eye. But the Colonel ordered six of the..ilgleaders to be seized, and thought no Punishment so proper as o
deliver them bound into my Hands, which some of his So> ers
accordingly did, pushing them forwards with the But-Einds of  ir
Pikes into my reach; I took them all, in my right Hand, pu  ive




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


57


of them into my Coat-Pocket, and as to the sixth, I made a
Countenance as if I would eat him alive.  The poor Man
squalled terribly and the Colonel and his Officers were in much
Pain, especially when they saw me take out my Penknife: But
I soon put them out of fear; for, looking mildly and immediately
cutting the Strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the
Ground, and away he ran; I treated the rest in the same manner,
taking them one by one out of my Pocket, and I observed both
the Soldiers and People were highly obliged at this Mark of my
Clemency, which was represented very much to my Advantage at
Court.
Towards Night I got with some difficulty into my House,
where I lay on the Ground, and continued to do so about a
Fortnight; during which time the Emperor gave Orders to have
a Bed prepared for me.  Six hundred Beds of the common
Measure, were brought in Carriages and worked up in my
House, an hundred and fifty of their Beds sown together made
up the Breadth and Length, and these were four double, which
however kept me but very indifferently rom the Hardness of the
Floor, that was of smooth Stone. By the same Computation
they provided me with Sheets, Blankets, and Coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long enured to Hardships as I.
As the News of my Arrival spread through the Kingdom, it
brought prodigious Numbers of rich. idle and curious People to
see me; so that the Villages were almost emptied, and great
Neglect of Tillage and Household Affairs must have ensued,
if his Imperial Majesty had not provided by several Proclamations and Orders of State against this Inconveniency.  He
directed that those, who had already beheld me, should return
Home, and not presume to come within fifty Yards of my House,
without Licence from Court; whereby the Secretarys of State
got considerable Fees.
In the mean time, the Emperor held frequent Councils to
debate what Course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a particular Friend, a Person of great Quality,




GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


who was looked upon to be as much in the Secret as any, that
the Court was under many Difficulties concerning me. They
apprehended my breaking loose, that my Diet would be very
expensive, and might cause a Famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me, or at least to shoot me in the Face and
Hands with poisoned Arrows, which would soon dispatch me:
But again they considered, that the Stench of so large a Carcase
might produce a Plague in the Metropolis, and probably spread
through the whole Kingdom. In the midst of these Consultations, several Officers of the Armywent to the Door of the great
Council Chamber; and two of them being admitted, gave an
account of my Behaviour to the six Criminals above-mentioned,
which made so favourable an Impression in the Breast of his
Majesty and the whole Board in my behalf, that an Imperial
Commission was issued out, obliging all the Villages nine hundred
Yards round the City, to deliver in every Morning six Beeves,
forty Sheep, and other Victuals for my Sustenance; together with
a proportionable Quantity of Bread, and Wine, and other Liquors:
for the due Payment of which, his Majesty gave assignments upon
his Treasury. For this Prince lives chiefly uon his_own Demesnes,
seldom excet uon reat Oc      s raising any Subsidues upon
his Subjects, whoareond to attend him in is Warsat their
own Expence. An Establishment was also mdeof six hundred
Persons to be my Domesticks, who had Board-Wages allowed for
their Maintenance, and Tents built for them very conveniently
on each side of my Door. It was likewise ordered, that three
hundred Taylors should make me a Suit of Cloaths after the
Fashion of the Country: That six of his Majesty's greatest
Scholars should be employ'd to instruct me in their Language:
And, lastly, that the Emperor's Horses, and those of the Nobility,
and Troops of Guards, should be frequently exercised in my sight,
to accustom themselves to me. All these Orders were duly put
in Execution, and in about three Weeks I made a great Progress
in learning their Language; during which time, the Emperor
frequently honoured me with his Visits, and was pleased to assist
my Masters in teaching me. We began already to converse




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


59


together in some sort; and the first Words I learnt were to
express my Desire that he would please to give me my Liberty,
which I every day repeated on my Knees. His Answer, as I
could apprehend it, was, that this must be a Work of Time, not
to be thought on without the Advice of Council, and that first
I must Lumos Kelmin pesso desmar ton Ermoso; that is, swear a
Peace with him and his Kingdom. However, that I should be
used with all Kindness, and he advised me to acquire by my
Patience, and discreet Behaviour, the good Opinion of himself
and his Subjects. He desired I would not take it ill if he gave
Orders to certain proper Officers to search me; for probably I
might carry about me several WTeapons, which must needs be
dangerous things, if they answered the Bulk of so prodigious a
Person. I said, his Majesty should be satisfied, for I was ready
to strip myself, and turn up my Pockets before him. This I
delivered, part in Words, and part in Signs. He replied, that by
the Laws of the Kingdom I must be searched by,, two of his
Officers; that he knew this could not be done without my Consent and Assistance; that he had so good an Opinion of my
Generosity and Justice, as to trust their Persons in my HITands:
That whatever they took from me should be returned when I left
the Country, or paid for at the Rate which I would set upon them.
I took up the two Officers in my Hands, put them first into ny
Coat-Pockets, and then into every other Pocket about me, except
my two Fobs, and another secret Pocket I had no mind should
be searched, wherein I had some little Necessaries that were of
no consequence to any but myself. In one of my Fobs there
was a silver Watch, and in the other a small Quantity of Gold in
a Purse. These Gentlemen, having Pen Ink and Paper about
them, made an exact Inventory of every thing they saw; and
when they had done, desired I would set them down, that they
might deliver it to the Emperor. This Inventory I afterwards
translated into English, and is word for word as follows.
Imprimis, in the right Coat-Pocket of the Great Man Mountfain
(for so I interpret the Words quinbus Flesh-in) after the strictest
search, we found only one great Piece of coarse Cloath, large




60


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


enough to be a Foot-Cloth for your Majesty's chief Room of
State. In the left Pocket, we saw a huge Silver Chest, with a
Cover of the same Metal, which we the Searchers were not able
to lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping
into it, found himself up to the mid Leg in a sort of Dust, some
part whereof flying up to our Faces, set us both a sneezing for
several times together. In his right Waistcoat-Pocket, we found
a prodigious Bundle of white thin Substances, folded one over
another, about the Bigness of three Men, tied with a strong cable,
and marked with black Figures; which we humbly conceive to
be Writings, every Letter almost half as large as the Palm of our
Hands. In the left there was a sort of Engine, from the Back
of which were extended twenty long poles, resembling the pallisado's before your Majesty's Court; wherewith we conjecture the
Man Mounlain combs his Head, for we did not always trouble
him with Questions, because we found it a great Difficulty to
make him understand us. In the large Pocket on the right
side of his middle Cover (so I translate the Word Ranf —Lo, by
which they meant my Breeches) we saw a hollow Pillar of Iron,
about the length of a Man, fastened to a strong piece of Timber,
large:- than the Pillar; and upon one side of the Pillar were huge
Pieces of Iron sticking out, cut into strange Figures, which we
know not what to make of. In the left Pocket, another Engine
of the same kind. In the smaller Pocket on the right side, were
several round flat Pieces of white and red Metal, of different Bulk;
* some of the white, which seemed to be silver, were so large and
heavy, that my Comrade and I could hardly lift them. In the
left Pocket were two black Pillars irregularly shaped: we could
not, without Difficulty reach the Top of them as we stood at the
Bottom of his Pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed
all of a Piece: But at the upper End of the other, there appeared
a white round Substance, about twice the bigness of our heads.
Within each of these was inclosed a prodigious Plate of Steel;
which, by our Orders, we obliged him to shew us, because we
apprehended they might be dangerous Engines. He took them or
of their Cases, and told us, that in his own Country his Practic




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


6I


was to shave his Beard with one of these, and to cut his Meat
with the other. There were two Pockets which we could not
enter: These he called his Fobs; they were two large Slits cut
into the top of his middle Cover, but squeez'd close by the pressure of his Belly. Out of the right Fob hung a great silver Chain,
with a wonderful kind of Engine at the bottom. We directed
him to draw out whatever was fastened to that Chain; which
appeared to be a Globe, half Silver, and half of some transparent
Metal: for on the transparent side we saw certain strange Figures
circularly drawn, and thought we could touch them, till we found
our Fingers stopped by that lucid Substance. He put this Engine
to our Ears, which made an incessant Noise like that of a WaterMill. And we conjecture it is either some unknown Animal, or
the God that he worships: But we are more inclined to the latter
Opinion, because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for
he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any
thing without consulting it. He called it his Oracle, and said
it pointed out the Time for every Action of his Life. From the
left Fob he took out a Net almost large enough for a Fisherman,
but contrived to open and shut like a Purse, and served him for
the same use: We found therein several massy Pieces of yellow
Metal, which if they be real Gold, must be of immense Value.
Having thus, in obedience to your Majesty's Commands, diligently searched all his Pockets, we observed a Girdle about his
Waist, made of the Hide of some prodigious Animal; from which,
on the left side, hung a Sword of the length of five Men; and on
the right, a Bag or Pouch divided into two Cells, each Cell capable
of holding three of your Majesty's Subjects. In one of these
Cells were several Globes or Balls of a most ponderous Metal,
about the bigness of our Heads, and required a strong Hand to
lift them: The other Cell contained a Heap of certain black
Grains, but of no great Bulk or Weight, for we could hold above
fifty of them in the Palms of our Hands.
This is an exact Inventory of what we found about the Body
of the Man-iounftain, who used us with great Civility, and due
Respect to your Majesty' Commission. Signed and Sealed on




62


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


the fourth Day of the eighty ninth Moon of your Majesty's
auspicious Reign.
Clefren Frelock, Afarsi h-delock.
When this Inventory was read over to the Emperor, he directed
me, although in very gentle Terms, to deliver up the several
Particulars. He first called for my Scymiter, which I took out,
Scabbard and all. In the mean time he ordered three thousand
of his choicest Troops (who then attended him) to surround me
at a distance, with their Bows and Arrows just ready to discharge:
but I did not observe it, for mine Eyes were wholly fixed upon
his Majesty. He then desired me to draw my Scymiter, which,
although it had got some Rust by the Sea-Water, was in most
parts exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the Troops
gave a Shout between Terror and Surprize; for the Sun shone
clear, and the Reflexion dazled their Eyes as I waved the Scy'miter
to and fro in my Hand. His Majesty, who is a most magnanimous Prince, was less danted than I could expect; he ordered
me to return it into the Scabbard, and cast it on the Ground as
gently as I could, about six Foot from the end of my Chain. The
next thing he demanded, was one of the hollow Iron Pillars, by
which he meant my Pocket-Pistols. I drew it out, and at his
desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the Use of it; and
charging it only with Powder, which by the closeness of my
Pouch happened to escape wetting in the Sea, (an Inconvenience
against which all prudent Mariners take special care to provide) I
first cautioned the Emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off
in the Air. The Astonishment here was much greater than at the
sight of my Scymiter. Hundreds fell down as if they had been
struck dead; and even the Emperor, although he stood his ground,
could not recover himself in some time. I delivered up both
my Pistols in the same Manner, as I had done my Scymiter,
and then my Pouch of Powder and Bullets; begging him that
the former might be kept from the Fire, for it would kindle
with the smallest Spark, and blow up his Imperial Palace into
the Air. I likewise delivered up my Watch, which the Emperor




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


63


was very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallest Yeomen
of the Guards to bear it on a Pole upon their shoulders, as Draymen in England do a Barrel of Ale. He was amazed at the
continual Noise it made, and the Motion of the Minute-Hand,
which he could easily discern; for their Sight is much more acute
than ours: and asked the Opinions of his learned Men about
him, which were various and remote, as the Reader may well
imagine without my repeating; although indeed I could not very
perfectly understand them. I then gave up my Silver and Copper
Money, my Purse with nine large Pieces of Gold, and some
smaller ones; my Knife and Razor, my Comb, and Silver SnuffBox, my Handkerchief and Journal Book. My Scymiter, Pistols,
and Pouch were conveyed in Carriages to his Majesty's Stores;
but the rest of my Goods were returned me.
I had, as I before observed, one private Pocket which escaped
their Search, wherein there was a pair of Spectacles (which I
sometimes use for the weakness of mine Eyes) a Pocket Perspective, and several other little Conveniences; which being of no
consequence to the Emperor, I did not think my self bound in
Honour to discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or
spoiled if I ventured them out of my Possession.




64


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER III.
The Author diverts the Emperor and his Nobility of both Sexes in
a very uncommon Mlanner. The Diversions of the Court of
Lillizut described.  The Author has his Liberty granted him
upon certain Conditions.
/ Y Gentleness and good Behaviour had gained so far on the
Emperor and his Court, and indeed upon the Army and
People in general, that I began to conceive Hopes of getting my
Liberty in a short time. I took all possible Methods to cultivate
this favourable Disposition. The Natives came by degrees to be
less apprehensive of any Danger from me. I would sometimes
lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my Hand. And
at last the Boys and Girls would venture to come and play at
Hide and Seek in my Hair. I had now made a good Progress
in understanding and speaking their Language. The Emperor
had a mind one day to entertain me with several of the Country
Shows, wherein they exceed all Nations I have known, both for
Dexterity and Magnificence. I was diverted with none so much
as that of the Rope-Dancers, performed upon a slender white
-Thread, extended about two Foot and twelve Inches from the
Ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the Reader's
Patience, to enlarge a little.
This Diversion is only practised by those Persons who are
Candidates for great Employments, and high Favour, at Court.
They are trained in this Art from their Youth, and are not always
of noble Birth, or liberal Education. When a grffi
vacant either by Death or Disgrace (which often happensv
six of those Candidates petition the Emperor to entertain)-s




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.                  65
Majesty and the CoU  LarLith -2anaQe oIntheRoQpe and whoever
jumps the highest without falling, succeeds in the Office. Very
often- te C-ief Ministers themselves are commanded to shew
their SkillT, and to convince theEmperor that they have not lost
their Faculty:, Nlinnap, the Treasurer, is allowed to cut a Caper
on the strait Rope, at least an Inch higher than any other Lord
in the whole Empire. I have seen him do the Summerset several
times together upon a Trencher fixed on the Rope, which is no
thicker than a common packthread in England. My Friend
Reldresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs, is, in my Opinion,
if I am not partial, the second after the Treasurer; the rest of the
great Officers are much upon a Par.
These Diversions are often attended with fatal Accidents,
whereof great Numbers are on Record. I my self have seen two
or three Candidates break a Limb.  But the Danger is much
greater when the Ministers themselves are commanded to shew
their Dexterity; for by contending to excel themselves and their
Fellows, they strain so far, that there is hardly one of them who
hath not received a Fall, and some of them two or three. I was
assured that a Year or two before my Arrival, Flimnadp would
have infallibly broke his Neck, if one of the King's Cushions,
that accidentally lay on the Ground, had not weakened the Force
of his Fall.
There is likewise another Diversion which is only shewn before
the Emperor and Empress, and first Minister, upon particular
Occasions.  The Emperor lays on a Table three_fine silken
Threadsof six Inches long._ One is Purple, the other Yellow,
and the third White. These Threads are proposed as'Prizes for
those Persons whom the Emperor hath a mind to distinguish by
a peculiar Mark of his Favour. The Ceremony is performed in
his Majesty's great Chamber of State, where the Candidates are
to undergo a Tryal of Dexterity very different from the former,
and such as I have not observed the least Resemblance of in any
other Country of the old or the new World. The Emperor holds
a Stick in his Hands, both ends parallel to the Horizon, while
the Candidates advancing one by one, sometimes leap over the
E




66


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Stick, sometimes creep under it backwards and forwards several
times, according as the Stick is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the Emperor holds one end of the Stick, and his first Mi5ister the other; sometimes the Minister has it entirely to himself.
Whoever performs his Part with most Agility, and hoidks out the
longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded wWth. the Purple
coloured Silk; the Yellow is given to the next, and the White to
the third, which they all were girt twice round about the middle;
and you see few great Persons about this Court, who are not
adorned with one of these Girdles. \.
The Horses of the Army, and those of the royal Stables, having
been daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come
up to my very Feet without starting. The Riders would leap
them over my Hand as I held it on the Ground, and one of the
Emperor's Huntsmen, upon a large Courser, took my Foot, Shoe
and all; which was indeed a prodigious Leap. I had the good
fortune to divert the Emperor one Day after a very extraordinary
manner. I desired he would order several Sticks of two Foot
high, and the thickness of an ordinary Cane, to be brought me;
whereupon his Majesty commanded the Master of his Woods to
give Directions accordingly, and the next Morning six Wood-men
arrived with as many Carriages, drawn by eight Horses to each.
I took nine of these Sticks, and fixing them firmly in the Ground
in a Quadrangular Figure, two Foot and a half Square, I took
four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each Corner, about
two Foot from the Ground; then I fastned my Handkerchief to
the nine Sticks that stood erect, and extended it on all sides till
it was as tight as the top of a Drum; and the four parallel Sticks
rising about five Inches higher than the Handkerchief, served as
Ledges on each side. When I had finished my Work, I desired
the Emperor to let a Troop of his best Horse, twenty four in
number, come and exercise upon this Plain.   His Majesty
approved of the Proposal, and I took them up one by one in my
Hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper Officers to
exercise them. As soon-as they got into order, they divided into
two Parties, performed mock Skirmishes, discharged blunt Arrows,




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


67


drew their Swords, fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in
short discovered the best Military Discipline I ever beheld. The
parallel Sticks secured them and their Horses from falling over
the Stage; and the Emperor was so much delighted, that he
ordered this Entertainment to be repeated several (lays, and
once was please — to be lifted up), and give the word of Command;
and, with great difficulty, persuaded even the Empress her self to
let me hold her in her close Chair within two Yards of the Stage,
from whence she was able to take a full View of the whole Performance. It was my good fortune that no ill Accident happened
in these Entertainments, only once a fiery Horse that belonged to
one of the Captains pawing with his Hoof struck a Hole in my
Handkerchief, and his Foot slipping, he overthrew his Rider and
himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and covering the
Hole with one Hand, I set down the Troop with the other, in
the same manner as I took them up. The Horse that fell was
strained in the left Shoulder, but the Rider got no hurt, and I
repaired my Handkerchief as well as I could; however, I would not
trust to the Strength of it any more in such dangerous Enterprizes.
About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
entertaining the Court with these kind of Feats, there arrived an
Express to inform his Majesty, that some of his Subjects riding
near the Place where I was first taken up, had seen a great black
Substance lying on the Ground very oddly shaped, extending its
Edges round as wide as his Majesty's Bedchamber, and rising up
in the middle as high as a Man; that it was no living Creature,
as they at first apprehended, for it lay on the Grass without
Motion, and some of them had walked round it several times:
That by mounting upon each other's Shoulders, they had got to
the top, which was flat and even, and stamping upon it they
found it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might
be something belonging to the AMfan-Mountain, and if his Majesty
pleased, they would undertake to bring it with only five Horses.
I presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to
receive this Intelligence. It seems upon my first reaching the
Shore after our Shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I




68


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


came to the Place where I went to sleep, my Hat which I had
fastned with a String to my Head while I was rowing, and had
stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I came to
Land; the String, as I conjecture, breaking by some Accident
which I never observed, but thought my Hat had been lost at
Sea. I intreated his Imperial Majesty to give Orders it might be
brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the Use
and the Nature of it: And the next Day the Waggoners arrived
with it, but not in a very good condition; they had bored two
Holes in the Brim, within an Inch and half of the Edge, and
fastned two Hooks in the Holes; these Hooks were tyed by a
long Cord to the Harness, and thus my Hat was dragged along
for above half an English Mile: but the Ground in that Country
being extremely smooth and level, it receiv'd less Damage than I
expected.
Two Days after this Adventure, the Emperor having ordered
that Part of his Army which quarters in and about his Metropolis
to be in a readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very
singular manner. He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with
my Legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his General, (who was an old experienced Leader, and a
great Patron of mine) to draw up the Troops in close Order, and
march them under me, the Foot by Twenty-four in a Breast, and
the Horse by Sixteen, with Drums beating, Colours flying, and
Pikes advanced. This Body consisted of three thousand Foot,
and a thousand Horse. His Majesty gae.Q rders upon pain of
Death that every Soldier in his March should observe the strictest
Decency, with regard to my Person; which, however, could not
prevent some of the younger Officers from turning up their Eyes
as they passed under me. And, to confess the Truthi,ny
reecheswre    at   at time n so ill  Condition, that they
afforded some Opportunities for Laughter and Admiration.
I hasent so many Memorials and Petitions for my Liberty,
that his Majesty at length mentioned the Matter first in the
Cabinet, and then in a full Council; where it was opposed by
none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any
Ag-X. Y7f ftQt<,^ \




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


69


Provocation, to be my mortal Enemy. But it was carried against
him by the whole Board, and confirmed by the Emperor. That
Minister was Galbet, or Admiral of the Realm, very much in his
Master's Confidence, and a Person well versed in Affairs, but
of a morose and sour Complection. However, he was at length
persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the Articles and Conditions upon which I should be set free, and to which I must
swear, should be drawn up by himself.  These Articles were
brought to me by Skyreshl Bolgolam in Person, attended by two
Under-Secretarys, and several Persons of Distinction. After they
were read, I was demanded to swear to the Performance of them;
first in the manner of my own Country, and afterwards in the
method prescribed by their Laws: which was to hold my right
Foot in my left Hand, to place the middle Finger of my right
Hand on the Crown of my Head, and my Thumb on the Tip of
my right Ear. But because the Reader may perhaps be curious
to have some Idea of the Style and Manner of Expression peculiar
to that People, as well as to know the Articles upon which I
recovered my Liberty, I have made a Translation of the whole
Instrument word for word, as near as I was able, which I here
offer to the publick.
GOLBASTO MOMAREN EVLAME GURDILO.SHEFIN MULLY ULLY
GUE, most Mighty Emperor of LiZlipzt, Delight and Terror of
the Universe, whose Dominions extend five thousand -B/ustrugs,
(about twelve Miles in Circumference) to the Extremitys of the
Globe; Monarch of all Monarchs, taller than the Sons of Men;
whose Feet press down to the Center, and whose Head strikes
against the Sun: At whose Nod the Princes of the Earth shake
their Knees; pleasant as the Spring, comfortable as the Summer,
fruitful as Autumn, dreadful as Winter.  His most sublime
Majesty proposeth to the Man-Mountain, lately arrived to our
Celestial Dominions, the following Articles, which by a solemn
Oath he shall be obliged to perform.
First, The Man-Mountain shall not depart from our Dominions, without our Licence under our Great Seal.




70


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


2d, He shall not presume to come into our Metropolis, without our express Order; at which time the Inhabitants shall have
two hours warning to keep within their doors.
3d, The said Man-Mountain shall confine his Walks to our
principal High Roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a
Meadow or Field of Corn.
4th, As he walks the said Roads, he shall take the utmost
care not to trample upon the Bodies of any of our loving
Subjects, their Horses, or Carriages, nor take any of our said
Subjects into his hands, without their own Consent.
5th, If an Express requires extraordinary Dispatch, the ManMountain shall be obliged to carry in his Pocket the Messenger
and Horse a Six Days Journey once in every Moon, and return
the said Messenger back (if so required) safe to our Imperial
Presence.
6th, He shall be our Ally against our Enemies in the Island
of Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their Fleet, which is
now preparing to invade Us.
7th, That the said Man-Muontain shall, at his times of
leisure, be aiding and assisting to our Workmen, in helping to
raise certain great Stones, towards covering the Wall of the
principal Park, and other our Royal Buildings.
8th, That the said Man-Mountain shall, in two Moons time,
deliver in an exact Survey of the Circumference of our Dominions
by a Computation of his own Paces round the Coast.
Lastly, That upon his solemn Oath to observe all the above
Articles, the said M1an-iMountain shall have a daily Allowance of
Meat and Drink sufficient for the Support of 1724 of our Subjects, with free Access to our Royal Person, and other Marks ol.our Favour. Given at our Palace at Belfaborac the twelfth Day
of the Ninety-first Moon of our Reign.
I swore and subscribed to these Articles with great Chearfulness
and Content, although some of them were not so honourable as
I could have wished; which proceeded wholly from the Malice
of Skyresh Bolgolam the High Admiral: whereupon my Chains




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


71


were immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty; the
Emperor himself in Person did me the Honour to be by at the
whole Ceremony. I made my Acknowledgments by prostrating
myself at his Majesty's Feet: But he commanded me to rise;
and after many gracious Expressions, which, to avoid the Censure
of Vanity, I shall not repeat, he added, that he hoped I should
prove a useful Servant, and well deserve all the Favours he had
already conferred upon me, or might do for the future.
The Reader may please to observe, that in the last Article for
the Recovery of my Liberty, the Emperor stipulates to allow me
a Quantity of Meat and Drink sufficient for the Support of I724
-Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a Friend at Court how
they came to fix on that determinate Number; he told me, that
his Majesty's Mathematicians, having taken the Height of my
Body by the help of a Quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in
the Proportion of Twelve to One, they concluded from the Similarity of their Bodies, that mine must contain at least I724 of
theirs, and consequently would require as much Food as was
necessary to support that number of Lillitians. By which, the>
Reader may conceive an Idea of the Ingenuity of that People, as
well as the prudent and exact Oeconomy so great a Prince.




GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER IV.
Milendo, the Metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
Emperors Palace. A Conversation between the Author and
a Principal Secretary, concerning the Afairs of that Empire: The Author's Ofers. to serve the Emperor in his
Wars.                                      '
HE first Request I made after I had obtained my Liberty,
was, that I might have licence to see Milendo, the Metropolis; which the Emperor easily granted me, but with a special
Charge to do no hurt, eipher to the Inhabitants, or their Houses.
The People had notice by Proclamation of my design to visit the
Town. The Wall which encompassed it, is two foot and an half
high, and at least eleven Inches broad, so that a Coach and
Horses may be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with
strong Towers at ten foot distance. I stept over the great Western
Gate, and passed very gently, and sideling through the two principal Streets, only in my short Waistcoat, for fear of damaging:
the Roofs and Eves of the Houses with the Skirts of my Coat.
I walked with the utmost Circumspection, to avoid treading on
any Stragglers, that might remain in the Streets, although the
Orders were very strict, that all People should keep in their
Houses, at their own peril. The Garret-windows and Tops of
Houses were so crowded with Spectators, that I thought in all
my Travels I had not seen a more populous Place. The City
is an exact Square, each side of the Wall being five hundred foot
long. The two great Streets which run cross and divide it into
four Quarters, are five foot wide. The Lanes and Alleys which I
could not enter, but only viewed them as I passed, are fron.




74


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of
the Window her Hand to kiss.
But I shall not anticipate the Reader with farther Descriptions
of this kind, because I reserve them for a greater Work, which is
now almost ready for the Press, containing a general Description
of this Empire, from its first Erection, through a long Series of
Princes, with a particular Account of their Wars and Politicks,
Laws, Learning, and Religion: their Plants and Animals, their
peculiar Manners and Customs, with other Matters very curious
and useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such
Events and Transactions as happened to the Publick, or to myself,
during a Residence of about nine Months in that Empire.
One Morning, about a Fortnight after I had obtained my
Liberty, IKedresal, Principal Secretary (as they style him) of
private Affairs, came to my House, attended only by one Servant-.
He ordered his Coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would
give him an Hour's Audience; which I readily consented to, on
account of his Quality, and Personal Merits, as well as the many
good Offices he had done me during my Sollicitations at Court.
I offered to lie down, that he might the more conveniently reach
my Ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand
during our Conversation. He began with Compliments on my
Liberty, said he might pretend to some Merit in it: but, however,
added, that if it had not been for the present Situation of things
at Court, perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. For,
said he, as flourishing a Condition as we may appear to be in
to Foreigners, we labour under two mighty Evils-ialdolent
Faction at home, and the Danger of an Invasion by a most
)otent Enemy from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for above seventy Moons past, there have been two
struggling Parties in this Empire, under the Names of Tramecksan, and Slamzecksan, from  the high and low Heels on
their Shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged
indeed, that the high Heels are most agreeable to our ancient
Constitution: But however this be, his Majesty hath determined
to make use of only low Heels in the Administration of the




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


73


twelve to eighteen Inches. The Town is capable of holding five
hundred thousand Souls. The Houses are from three to five
Stories. The Shops and Markets well provided.
The Emperor's Palace is in the Center of the City, where the
two great Streets meet. It is inclosed by a Wall of two foot high,
and twenty foot distant from the Buildings. I had his Majesty's
Permission to step over this Wall; and the Space being so wide
between that and the Palace, I could easily view it on every side.
The outward Court is a Square of forty foot, and includes two
other Courts: In the inmost are the Royal Apartments, which I
was very desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the
great Gates, from one Square into another, were but eighteen
Inches high, and seven Inches wide. Now the Buildings of the
outer Court were at least five foot high, and it was impossible for
me to stride over thel, without infinite Damage to the Pile,
though the Walls were strongly built of hewn Stone, and four
Inches thick. At the same time the Emperor had a great desire
that I should see the Magnificence of his Palace; but this I was
not able to do till three I)ays after, which I spent in cutting down
with my Knife some of the largest Trees in the Royal Park, about
an hundred Yards distant from the City. Of these Trees I made
two Stools, each about three foot high, and strong enough to bear
my Weight. The People having received notice a second time, I
went again through the City to the Palace, with my two Stools in
my Hands. When I came to the side of the outer Court, I
stood upon one Stool, and took the other in my Hand: This I
lifted over the Roof, and gently set it down on the Space between
the first and second Court, which was eight foot wide. I then
stept over the Buildings very conveniently from one Stool to the
other, and drew up the first after me with a hooked Stick. By
this Contrivance I got into the inmost Court; and lying down
upon my Side, I applied my Face to the Windows of the middle
Stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered the
most splendid Apartments that can be imagined. There I saw
the Empress, and the young Princes in their several Lodgings,
with their chief Attendants about them. Her Imperial Majesty




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


75


Government, and all Offices in the Gift of the Crown, as
you cannot but observe; and particularly, that his Majesty's
Imperial Heels are lower at least by a Drurr than any of his
Court; (Drurr is a Measure about the fourteenth Part of an
Inch.) The Animositys between these two Partys run so high,
that they will neither eat nor drink, nor talk with each other.
We compute the Tramecksan, or High Heels, to exceed us in
number; but the Power is wholly on our side. We apprehend
his Imperial Highness, the Heir to the Crown, to have some
Tendency towards the High-Heels; at least, we can plainly discover one of his Heels higher than the other, which gives him a
Hobble in his Gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine Disquiets, we are threatned with an Invasion from the Island of
Blefuscu, which is the other great Empire of the Universe, almost
as large and powerful as this of his Majesty. For as to what we
have heard you affirm, that there are other Kingdoms and States
in the World, inhabited by human Creatures as large as yourself,
our Philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture
that you dropt from the Moon, or one of the Stars; because it is
certain, that an hundred Mortals of your Bulk would, in a short
time, destroy all the Fruits and Cattle of his Majesty's Dominions.
Besides, our Historys of six thousand Moons make no mention
of any other Regions, than the two great Empires of Lilliput and
Blefuscu. Which two mighty Powers have, as I was going to tell
you, been engaged in a most obstinate War for six and thirty/
Moons past.  It began upon the following Occasion.  It ii
allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking Eggs
before we eat them, was upon the larger End: But his present
Majesty's Grandfather, while he was a Boy, going to eat an Egg,
and breaking it according to the ancient Practice, happened to
cut one of his Fingers. Whereupon the Emperor his Father
published an Edict, commanding all his Subjects, upon great
Penaltys, to break the smaller End of their Eggs. The People
so highly resented this Law, that our Historys tell us there have
been six Rebellions raised on that account; wherein one Emperor
lost his Life, and another his Crown. These civil Commotions


& 0.




-1
76               GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.            l
were constantly fomented by the Monarchs of Blefuscu; an dc LL
when they were quelled, the Exiles always fled for Refuge to
that Empire. It is computed, that eleven thousand Persons
have, at several times, suffered Death, rather than submit to
break their Eggs at the smaller End. Many hundred large
Volumes have been published upon this Controversy: But the
Books of the Big-Endians have been long forbidden, and the
j  whole Party rendred incapable by Law of holding Employments.
During the Course of these Troubles, the Emperors of Btefuscu.
did frequently expostulate by their Ambassadors, accusing us of
making a Schism in Religion, by offending against a fundamental
Doctrine of our great Prophet Zusfrog, in the fifty-fourth Chapter
of the Blundecral, (which is their Alcoran.) This, however, is
thought to be a meer Strain upon the Text: For the Words are
these: That ai trZe BeZievers sza.lZ break thei/r  ggs at the convenient End: and which is the convenient End, seems, in my
humble Opinion, to be left to every Man's Conscience, or at least
in the power of the Chief Magistrate to determine. Now, the
Big-Endian Exiles have found so much Credit in the Emperor
of Blefuscu's Court, and so much private Assistance and Encouragement from their Party here at home, that a bloody War
hath been carried on between the two Empires for six and thirty
Moons with various Success; during which time we have lost
forty Capital Ships, and a much greater number of smaller
Vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best Seamen and
Soldiers; and the Damage received by the Enemy is reckon'd
to be somewhat greater than Ours. However, they have now
equipped a numerous Fleet, and are just preparing to make a
Descent upon us; and his Imperial Majesty placing great Confidence in your Valour and Strength, hath commanded Me to lay
this Account of his Affairs before You.
I desired the Secretary to present my humble Duty to the
Emperor, and to let him know, that I thought it would not
become Me, who was a Foreigner, to interfere with Parties; but
I was ready, with the hazard of my Life, to defend his Person
and State against all Invaders.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


77


CHAPTER V.
The Author by an extraordinary Stratagem prevents an Invasion.
A high Title of Honour is conferred upon him. Embassadors
arrivefrom the Emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for Peace. The
Empress's Apartment on fire by an Accident; the Author
instrumental in saving the rest of the Palace.
T HE Empire of Blefuscu is an Island, situated to the North
North-East side of Lilliput, from whence it is parted only
by a Channel of eight hundred Yards wide. I had not yet seen
it, and upon this Notice of an intended Invasion, I avoided
appearing on that side of the Coast, for fear of being discovered
by some of the Enemy's Ships, who had received no Intelligence
of me, all Intercourse between the two Empires having been
strictly forbidden during the War, upon pain of Death, and an
Embargo laid by our Emperor upon all Vessels whatsoever. I
communicated to his Majesty a Project I had formed of seizing
the Enemy's whole Fleet: which, as our Scouts assured us, lay at
Anchor in the Harbour ready to sail with the first fair Wind. I
consulted the most experienced Seamen, upon the Depth of the
Channel, which they had often plummed, who told me, that in
the middle at High-water it was seventy Glumzglufs deep, which
is about six Foot of European Measure; and the rest of it fifty
Glumgluffs at most. I walked towards the North-East Coast over
against Blefuscui; and lying down behind a Hillock, took out my
small Pocket Perspective-Glass, and viewed the Enemy's Fleet at
Anchor, consisting of about fifty Men of War, and a great Number
of Transports: I then came back to my House, and gave Order
(for which I had a Warrant) for a great Quantity of the strongest




0


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Cable and Bars of Iron. The Cable was about as thick as Packthread, and the Bars of the length and size of a Knitting-Needle.
I trebled the Cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason
I twisted three of the Iron Bars together, binding the Extremitys
into a Hook. Having thus fixed fifty Hooks to as many Cables,
I went back to the North-East Coast, and putting off my Coat,
Shooes, and Stockins, walked into the Sea in my Leathern Jerkin,
about half an hour before high Water. I waded with what haste
I could, and swam in the middle about thirty Yards till I felt
ground; I arrived to the Fleet in less than half an hour. The
Enemy was so frighted when they saw me, that they leaped out of
their Ships, and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer
than thirty thousand Souls. I then took my Tackling, and fastning a Hook to the Hole at the Prow of each, I tyed all the Cords
together at the End. While I was thus employed, the Enemy
discharged several thousand Arrows, many of which stuck in my
Hands and Face; and besides the excessive smart, gave me much
disturbance in my Work. My greatest Apprehension was for
mine Eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an Expedient. I kept among other little Necessarys a pair of Spectacles in a private Pocket, which, as I observed
before, had scaped the Emperor's Searchers. These I took out
and fastned as strongly as I could upon my Nose, and thus armed
went on boldly with my Work, in spight of the Enemy's Arrows,
many of which struck against the Glasses of my Spectacles, but
without any other Effect, farther than a little to discompose them.
I had now fastned all the Hooks, and taking the Knot in my
hand, began to pull; but not a Ship would stir, for they were all
too fast held by their Anchors, so that the bold part of my Enterprize remained. I therefore let go the Cord, and leaving the
Hooks fixed to the Ships, I resolutely cut with my Knife the
Cables that fastned the Anchors, receiving above two hundred
Shots in my Face and Hands; then I took up the knotted End
of the Cables to which my Hooks were tyed, and with great ease
drew fifty of the Enemy's largest Men of War after me.
The Blefuscudians, who had not the least Imagination of what




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


79


I intended, were at first confounded with Astonishment. They
had seen me cut the Cables, and thought my Design was only to
let the Ships run a-drift, or fall foul on each other: but when
they perceived the whole Fleet moving in Order, and saw me
pulling at the End, they set up such a scream of Grief and
Despair, that it is almost impossible to describe or conceive.
When I had got out of danger, I stopt a while to pick out the
Arrows that stuck in my Hands and Face, and rubbed on some
of the same Ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I
have formerly mentioned. I then took off my Spectacles, and
waiting about an hour till the Tide was a little fallen, I waded
through the middle with my Cargo, and arrived safe at the Royal
Port of Lilliput.
The Emperor and his whole Court stood on the Shore expecting the Issue of this great Adventure. They saw the Ships move
forward in a large Half-Moon, but could not discern me, who
was up to my Breast in Water. When I advanced to the middle
of the Channel, they were yet more in pain because I was under
Water to my Neck. The Emperor concluded me to be drowned,
and that the Enemy's Fleet was approaching in a hostile manner:
But he was soon eased of his Fears, for the Channel growing
shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up the end of the Cable by which the Fleet was
fastned, I cryed in a loud Voice, Long live the most puissant
Emperor of Lillizput/ This great Prince received me at my
Landing with all possible Encomiums, and created me a Nardac
upon the spot, which is the highest Title of Honour among
them.
His Majesty desired I would take some other Opportunity of
bringing all the rest of his Enemy's Ships into his Ports. And  '
so unmeasurable is the Ambition of Princes, that he seemed to
think of nothing less than reducing the whole Empire of Blefiscu
into a Province, and governing it by a Vice-Roy; of destroying
the Big-Endian Exiles, and compelling that People to break the
smaller end of their Eggs, by which he would remain the sole
Monarch of the whole World. But I endeavour'd to divert hib




80


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


from this Design, by many Arguments drawn from the Topicks
of Policy as well _ ustice: And I plainly protested, that I
would never be an Instrument of bringing a Free and Brave
People into Slavery. And when the Matter was debated in
Council, the wisest part of the Ministry were of my Opinion.
This open bold Declaration of mine, was so opposite to the
Schemes and Politicks of his Imperial Majesty, that he could
never forgive it; he mentioned it in a very artful manner at
Council, where I was told that some of the wisest appeared, at
least, by their Silence, to be of my Opinion; but others, who
were my secret Enemies, could not forbear some Expressions,
which by a side-wind reflected on me. And from this time began
an Intrigue between his Majesty, and a Junto of Ministers
maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two
Months, and had like to have ended in my utter Destruction.
Of so little weight are the greatest Services to Princes, Pwhen
put into the Ballance with a Refusal to gratify their Passions.
About three Weeks after this Exploit, there arrived a solemn
embassy from Blefuscu, with humble Offers of a Peace; which
was soon concluded upon Conditions very advantageous to our
Emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the Reader. There were
six Ambassadors, with a Train of about five hundred persons, and
their Entry was very magnificent, suitable to the Grandeur of their
Master, and the Importance of their Business. When their Treaty
was finished, wherein I did them several good Offices by the Credit
I now had, or at least appeared to have at Court, their Excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their
Friend, made me a Visit in Form. They began with many Compliments upon my Valour and Generosity, invited me to that
Kingdom in the Emperor their Master's Name, and desired me
to shew them some Proofs of my prodigious Strength, of which
they had heard so many Wonders; wherein I readily obliged
them, but shall not trouble the Reader with the Particulars.
When I had for some time entertained their Excellencies to
their infinite Satisfaction and Surprize, I desired they would do
me the Honour to present my most humble Respects to the




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


Emperor their Master, the Renown of whose Virtues had so
justly filled the whole World with Admiration, and whose Royal
Person I resolved to attend before I returned to my own Country:
accordingly, the next time I had the honour to see our Emperor,
I desired his general Licence to wait on the Blefuscudian Monarch,
which he was pleas'd to grant me, as I could plainly perceive, in
a very cold manner; but could not guess the Reason, till I had a
V'WThisper from a certain Person, that Flimnap and Bolgolam had
represented my Intercourse with those Ambassadors as a mark of
Disaffection, from which I am sure my Heart was wholly free.
/ And this was the first time I began to conceive some imperfect
dea of Courts and Ministers.
It is to be observed, that these Ambassadors spoke to me by
an Interpreter, the Languages of both Empires differing as much
from each other as any two in Europe, and each Nation rjiding
itself upon the Antiquity, Beauty, and Energy of their own
Tongues, with an avowed Contempt for that of their Neighbour;
yet our Emperor standing upon the advantage he had got by the
seisure of their Fleet, obliged them to deliver their Credentials
and make their Speech in the LilliZiutian Tongu.  And it must
be confessed, that from the great Intercourse of Trade and Commerce between both Realms, from the continual Reception of
Exiles, which is mutual among them, and from the Custom in
each Empire to send their young Nobility and richer Gentry to
the other, in order to polish themselves by seeing the World, and
understanding Men and Manners; there are few Persons of Distinction, or Merchants, or Seamen, who dwell in the Maritime
Parts, but what can hold Conversation in both Tongues; as I
found some Weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to
the Emperor of Blefuscu, which in the midst of great Misfortunes,
through the Malice of my Enemies, proved a very happy Adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper place.
The Reader may remember, that when I signed those Articles
upon which I recovered my Liberty, there were some which I disliked upon account of their being too servile, neither could any
thing but an extreme Necessity have forced me to submit. But
F




82


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


being now a 1Nardac, of the highest Rank in that Empire, such
Offices were looked upon as below my Dignity, and the Emperor
(to do him Justice) never once mentioned them to me. However,
it was not long before I had an Opportunity of doing his Majesty,
at least, as I then thought, a most signal Service. I was alarmed
at Midnight with the Cries of many hundred People at my Door;
by which being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of Terror.
I heard the word Burglum repeated incessantly: several of the
Emperor's Court making their way through the Croud, intreated
me to come immediatelyto the Palace, where her Imperial Majesty's
Apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a Maid of Honour,
who fell asleep while she was reading a Romance. I got up in
an instant; and Orders being given to clear the way before me,
and it being likewise a Moon-shine Night, I made a shift to get
to the Palace without trampling on any of the People. I found
they had already applied Ladders to the Walls of the Apartment,
and were well provided with Buckets, but the Water was at some
distance. These Buckets were about the size of a large Thimble,
and the poor People supplied me with them as fast as they could;
but the Flame was so violent, that they did little good. I might
easily have stifled it with my Coat, which I unfortunately left
behind me for haste, and came away only in my Leathern Jerkin.
The Case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable, and this
magnificent Palace would have infallibly been burnt down to the
ground, if, by a Presence of Mind, unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an Expedient. I had the Evening before drank
plentifully of a most delicious Wine, called Glimigrim, (the Blefuscudians call it Flunec, but ours is esteemed the better sort) which
is very diuretick. By the luckiest Chance in the World, I had
not discharged myself of any part of it. The Heat I had contracted by coming very near the Flames, and by my labouring to
quench them, made the Wine begin to operate by Urine; which
I voided in such a Quantity, and applied so well to the proper
Places, that in three Minutes the Fire was wholly extinguished,
and the rest of that noble Pile, which had cost so many Ages in
erecting, preserved from Destruction.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.                  83
It was now Day-light, and I returned to my House, without
waiting to congratulate with the Emperor; because, although
I had done a very eminent piece of Service, yet I could not tell
how his Majesty might resent the manner by which I had performed it: For, by the fundamental Laws of the Realm, it is
Capital in any Person, of what Quality soever, to make water
within the Precincts of the Palace. But I was a little comforted
by a Message from his Majesty, that he would give Orders to the
Grand Justiciary for passing my Pardon in form; which, however, I could not obtain.  And I was privately assured, the
Empress conceiving the greatest Abhorrence of what I had done,
removed to the most distant side of the Court, firmly resolved
that those Buildings should never be repaired for her Use; and,
in the presence of her chief Confidents, could not forbear vowing
Revenge.




84


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER VI.
Of the Inhabitants of Lilliput; their Learning, Laws, and Customs,
the Manner of educating their Children. The AuthorJs Way
of living in that County. His Vindication of a great Lady.
ALTHOUGH I intend to leave the Description of this Empire
to a particular Treatise, yet in the mean time I am content
to gratify the curious Reader with some general Ideas. As the
common Size of the Natives is somewhat under six Inches high,
so there is an exact Proportion in all other Animals, as well as
Plants and Trees: For instance, the tallest Horses and Oxen are
between four and five Inches in height, the Sheep an Inch and a
half, more or less; their Geese about the bigness of a Sparrow,
and so the several Gradations downwards, till you come to the
smallest, which, to my sight, were almost invisible; but Nature
hath adapted the Eyes of the Lilliputians to all Objects proper for
their view: They see with great exactness but at no great distance. And to show the sharpness of their Sight, toward Objects
that are near, I have been much pleased observing a Cook pulling
a Lark, which was not so large as a common Fly; and a young
Girl threading an invisible Needle with invisible Silk.  Tieir
tallest Trees are about seven foot high: I mean some of those
in the great Royal Park, the Tops whereof I could but just reach
with my Fist clenched. The other Vegetables are in the same
Proportion; but this I leave to the Reader's Imaginationo
I shall say but little at present of their Learning, which for
many Ages hath flourished in all its Branches among them: But
their manner of Writing is very peculiar, being neither fronr the
Left to the Right, like the Europeans; nor from the Right to the




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.                  85
Left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, like the Ch;inese;
nor from down to up, like the Cascagiatns; but aslant from one
Corner of the Paper to the other, like Ladies in England.
They bury their Dead with their Heads directly downwards,
because they hold an Opinion, that in eleven thousand Moons
they are all to rise again, in which Period the Earth (which they
conceive to be flat) will turn upside down, and by this means
they shall, at their Resurrection, be found ready standing on
their Feet. The Learned among them confess the Absurdity of
this Doctrine, but the Practice still continues, in compliance to
the Vulgar.
There are some Laws and Customs in this Empire very
peculiar; and if they were not so directly contrary to those of
my own dear Country, I should be tempted to say a little in
their justification. It is only to be wished, that they were as
well executed. The first I shall mention, relates to Informers.
All Crimes against the State are punished here with the utmost
severity; but if the Person accused maketh his Innocence plainly
to appear upon his Tryal, the Accuser is immediately put to an
ignominious Death; and out of his Goods or Lands, the innocent
Person is quadruply recompensed for the Loss of his Time, for
the Danger he underwent, for the Hardship of his Imprisonment,
and for all the Charges he hath been at in making his Defence.
Or, if that Fund be deficient, it is largely supplyed by tie Crown.
The Emperor does also confer on him some publick Mark of his
Favour, and Proclamation is made of his Innocence through the
whole City.
They look upon Fraud as a greater Crime than Theft, and
therefore seldom fail to pupish it with Death; for they alledge,
that Care and Vigilance, with a very common Understanding,
may preserve a Man's Goods from Thieves, but Honesty has no
fence against superior Cunning: and since it is necessary that
there should be a perpetual Intercourse of Buying and Selling,
and dealing upon Credit, where Fraud is permitted or connived
at, or hath no Law to punish it, the honest Dealer is always
undone, and the Knave gets the advantage. I remember when




86


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


'.:..e
I was once interceding with the King for a Criminal io' had
wronged his Master of a great Sum of Money, which he received
by Order, and ran away with; and happening to tell his Majesty,
by way of Extenuation, that it was only a Breach of Trust; the
Emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer, as a Defence, the
greatest Aggravation of the Crime: and truly I had little to
say in return, farther than the common Answer, that different
Nations had different Customs; for, I confess, I was heartily
s hamed.
/  Although we usually call Reward and Punishment the two
Hinges upon which all Government turns, yet I could never
observe this Maxim to be put in practice by any Nation except
that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring sufficient Proof that
he hath strictly observed the Laws of his. Country for seventy
three Moons, hath a claim to certain Privileges, according -to his
Quality and Condition of Life, with a proportionable Sum of
Money out of a Fund appropriated for that Use: He likewise
acquires the Title of Snilpal, or Zeal. whih is added to hs
/  Na n      does not descend to his Post   And these People
thought it a proigious Defect of Policy among us, when I told
them that our Laws were enforced only by Penalties without any
mention of Reward./ It is upon this account that the Image
of Justice, in their Courts of Judicature, is formed with- six Eyes,
two before, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify
Circumspection; with a Bag of Gold open in her Right Hand,
and a Sword sheathed in her Left, to shew she is more disposd
to Reward than to Punish.
In chusing Persons for all Employments, they have more regard
to good Morals than to great Abilities;. for, since Government
is necessary to Mankind, they believe that the common Size of
Human Understandings is fitted to some Station or other, and
that Providence never intended to make the Management of
publick Affairs a Mystery, to be comprehended only by a few
Persons of sublime Genius, of which there seldom are thre; born
in an Age: but they suppose Truth, Justice, Temperance, and
the like, to be in every Man's powar the Practice of which
P.          -.N ic




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


87


Virtues, assisted by Experience and a good Intention, would
qualify any Man for the service of his Country, except where a
Course of Study is required. But they thought the want of
Moral Virtues was so far from being supplyed by superior Endowments of the Mind, that Employments could never be put
into such dangerous Hands as those of Persons so qualifi'd; and
at least, that the Mistakes committed by Ignorance in a virtuous
Disposition, would never be of such fatal Consequence to the
Publick Weal, as the Practices of a Man whose Inclinations led
him to be corrupt, and had great Abilities to manage and multiply,
and defend his Corruptions.
In like manner, the Disbelief of a Divine Providence renders
a Man uncapable of holding any Publick Station; for since Kings
avow themselves to be the Deputies of Providence, the Lilliptlians
think nothing can be more absurd than for a Prince to employ
such Men as disown the Authority under which he acts.
In relating these and the following Laws, I would only be
understood to mean the original Institutions, and not the most
scandalous Corruptions into which these People are fallen by the
degenerate Nature of Man. For as to that infamous Practice of
acquiring great Employments by dancing on the Ropes, or Badges
of Favour and Distinction by leaping over Sticks, and creeping
under them, the Reader is to observe, that they were first introduced by the Grand-father of the Emperor now reigning, and
grew to the present height, by the gradual increase of Party and
Faction.
Ingratitude is among them a capital Crime, as we read it to
have been in some other Countries; for they reason thus, that
whoever makes ill Returns to his Benefactor, must needs be a
common Enemy to the rest of Mankind, from whom he hath
received no Obligation, and therefore such a Man is not fit
to live.
Their Notions relating to the Duties of Parents and Children
differ extremely from ours. For, since the Conjunction of Male
and Female is founded upon the great Law of Nature, in order
to propagate and continue the Species, the iilliputians will needs




88


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


have it, that Men and Women are-6ned together like other
Animals, by the Motives of Concupiscence; and that their
Tenderness towards their Young proceeds from the like natural
Principle: for which reason they will never allow, that a Child is
under any Obligation to his Father for begetting him, or his
Mother for bringing him into the World; which, considering the
Miseries of human Life, was neither a Benefit in it self, or intended
so by his Parents, whose Thoughts in their Love-Encounters were
otherwise employ'd. Upon these, and the like Reasonings, their
Opinion is, that Parents are the last of all others to be trusted
with the Education of their own Children: and therefore they
have in every Town publick Nurseries, where all Parents, except
Cottagers and Labourers, are obliged to send their Infants of
both Sexes to be reared and educated when they come to the
Age of twenty Moons, at which time, they are supposed to have
4 some Rudiments of Docility. These Schools are of several kinds,
suited to different Quaities, and to both Sexes.  They have
certain Professors well skilled in preparing Children for such a
condition of Life as befits the Rank of their Parents, and their
own Capacities as well as Inclinations. I shall first say something
of the Male Nurseries, and then of the Female.
The Nurseries for Males of Noble or Eminent Birth, are
provided with Grave and Learned Professors, and their several
Deputies. The Clothes and Food of the Children are plain and
simple. They are bred up in the Principles of Honour, Justice,
Courage, Modesty, Clemency, Religion, and Love of their Country;
they are always employed in some Business, except in the times
of Eating and Sleeping, which are very short, and two Hours for
Diversions, consisting of bodily Exercises. They are dressed by
Men till four Years of Age, and' then 'are obliged to dress themselves, although their Quality be ever so great; and the Women
Attendants, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform
only the most menial Offices. They are never suffered to converse
with Servants, but go together in small or greater numbers to take
their Diversions, and always in the presence of a Professor, or one
of his Deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad Impressions




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


89


of Folly and Vice to which our Children are subject. Their
Parents are suffered to see them only twice a Year; the Visit is
to last but an hour. They are allowed to kiss the Child at Meeting and Parting; but a Professor, who always stands by on those
occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling
Expressions, or bring any Presents of Toys, Sweet-meats, and
the like.
The Pension from each Family for the Education and Entertainment of a Child, upon failure of due payment, is levyed by
the Emperor's Officers.
The Nurseries for Children of ordinary Gentlemen, Merchants,
Traders, and Handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the
same manner; only those designed for Trades, are put out
Apprentices at Eleven years old, whereas those of Persons of
Quality continue in their Nurseries till Fifteen, which answers to
One and Twenty with us: but the Confinement is gradually
lessened for the last three Years.
In the Female Nurseries, the young Girls of Quality are
educated much like the Males, only they are dressed by orderly
Servants of their own Sex, but always in the presence of a Professor or Deputy, till they come to dress themselves, which is at
five Years old. And if it be found that    N  s ever presume to entertain the Girls with frightful or fool  Stories or the
common    olieg us, they
are publicily whipped thrice about the City, imprisoned for a
Year, and banished for Life to the rpost desolate Part of the
Country. 'Thus the young Ladies there are as much ashamed
of bein  Cowards and    ools, as the  en, an  despise all
personal Ornaments beyond Decency and Cleanliness   ther
did I perceive any Difference in their Education, made by their
Difference of Sex, only that the Exercises of the Females were
not altogether so robust; and that some Rules were given them
relating to domestick Life, and a smaller Compass of Learning
was enjoined them: For the Maxim is, that among People of
Quality, a Wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable
Companion, because she cannot always be young. When the




90o


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Girls are twelve Years old, which among them is the marriageable Age, their Parents or Guardians take them home, with great
Expressions of Gratitude to the Professors, and seldom without
Tears of the young Lady and her Companions.
In the Nurseries of Females of the meaner sort, the Children are instructed in all kinds of Works proper for their Sex,
and their several degrees: Those intended for Apprentices, are
dismissed at nine Years old, the rest are kept to thirteen.
The meaner Families, who have Children at these Nurseries,
are obliged, besides their annual Pension, which is as low as
possible, to return to the Steward of the Nursery a small monthly
Share of their Gettings, to be a Portion for the Child, and therefore all Parents are limited in their expences by the Law. For
the Lilliptutans tlhink nothing can be more unjust, than for
People, in subsemrvioene i —eioiwn Appetites, to bring Children
into the World, and leave th B surthem on the
Publick. As to Persons of Quality, they give Security to appropriate a certain Sum for each Child, suitable to their Condition;
and these Funds are always managed with good Husbandry, and
the most exact Justice.
The Cottagers and Labourers keep their Children at Home,
their Business being only to till and cultivate the Earth, and
therefore their Education is of little consequence to the Publick;
but the Old and Diseased among them are supported by Hospitals: for Begging is.a Trade unknown in this Kingdom.
And here it may perhaps divert the curious Reader, to give
some account of my Domestick, and my manner of living in this
Country, during a Residence of nine Months and thirteen Days.
Having a Head mechanically turned, and being likewise forced
by necessity, I had made for myself a Table and Chair convenient enough, out of the largest Trees in the Royal Park.
Two hundred Sempstresses were employed to make me Shirts,
and Linnen for my Bed and Table, all of the strongest and
coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were forced
to quilt together in several Folds, for the thickest was some degrees
finer than Lawn. Their Linnen is usually three Inches wide, and




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


9I


three Foot make a Piece. The Sempstresses took my Measure as
I lay on the ground, one standing at my Neck, and another at my
Mid-Leg, with a strong Cord extended, that each held by the end,
while the third measured the length of the Cord with a Rule of
an Inch long. Then they measured my right Thumb, and desired
no more; for by a mathematical Computation, that twice round
the Thumb is once round the Wrist, and so on to the Neck and
the Waist, and by the help of my old Shirt, which I displayed
on the Ground before them for a Pattern, they fitted me exactly.
Three hundred Taylors were employed in the same manner to
make me Clothes; but they had another Contrivance for taking
my Measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a Ladder from
the Ground to my Neck; upon this Ladder one of them mounted,
and let fall a Plum-Line from my Collar to the Floor, which just
answered the length of my Coat; but my Waist and Arms I
measured myself. When my Clothes were finished, which was
done in my House, (for the largest of theirs would not be able to
hold them) they looked like the Patch-Work made by the Ladies
in U'ngZand, only that mine were all of a Colour.
I had three hundred Cooks to dress my Victuals, in little
convenient Huts built about my House, where they and their
Families lived, and prepared me two Dishes a-piece. I took up
twenty Waiters in my Hand, and placed them on the Table, an
hundred more attended below on the Ground, some with Dishes
of Meat, and some with Barrels of Wine, and other Liquors,
slung on their Shoulders; all which the Waiters above drew up
as I wanted, in a very ingenious Manner, by certain Cords, as
we draw the Bucket up a Well in Europe. A Dish of their Meat
was a good Mouthful, and a Barrel of their Liquor a reasonable
Draught. Their Mutton yields to ours, but their Beef is excellent. I have had a Sirloin so large, that I have been forced to
make three Bits of it; but this is rare. My Servants were astonished
to see me eat it Bones and all, as in our Country we do the Leg of
a Lark. Their Geese and Turkeys I usually eat at a Mouthful,
and I must confess they far exceed ours. Of their smalier Fowl
I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my Knife.




92


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


One day his Imperial Majesty being informed of my way of
living, desired that himself, and his Royal Consort, with the young
Princes of the Blood of both Sexes, might have the Happiness
(as he was pleased to call it) of dining with me. They came
accordingly, and I placed 'em upon Chairs of State on my Tabl'e,
just over-against me, with their Guards about them. Fliimina
the Lord High Treasurer attended there likewise, with his whi.tc
Staff; and I observed he often looked on me with a sour Countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but eat more than
usual, in honour to my dear Country, as well as to fill the Cour
with Admiration. I have some private Reasons to believe, that
this Visit from his Majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing
me ill Offices to his Master. That Minister had always been my
secret Enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than was
usual to the Moroseness of his Nature. He represented to the
Emperor the low Condition of his Treasury; that he was forced
to take up Money at great Discount; that Exchequer Bills would
not circulate under nine per Cent. below Par; that in short I had
cost his Majesty above a Million and a half of Sprugs, (their
greatest Gold Coin, about the bigness of a Spangle;) and upon
the whole, that it would be advisable in the Emperor to take the
first fair Occasion of dismissing me.
I am here obliged to vindicate the Reputation of an excellent
Lady, who was an innocent Sufferer upon my account. The
Treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of his Wife, from the Malice
of some Evil Tongues, who informed him that her Grace had
taken a violent Affection for my Person, and the Court-Scandal
ran for some time, that she once came privately to my lodging.
This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous Falsehood, without
any Grounds, farther than that her Grace was. pleased to treat me
with all innocent Marks of Freedom and Friendship. I own she
came often to my House, but always publickly, nor ever without
three more in the Coach, who were usually her Sister and young
Daughter, and some particular Acquaintance; but this was common
to many other Ladies of the Court. And I still appeal to my
Servants round, whether they at any time saw a Coach at my




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


93


Door without knowing what Persons were in it. On those Occasions, when a Servant had given me notice, my Custom was to
go immediately to the Door: and, after paying my Respects, to
take up the Coach and two Horses very carefully in my hands,
(for if there were six Horses, the Postiilion always unharnessed
four) and place them on a Table, where I had fixed a moveable
Rim quite round, of five Inches high, to prevent Accidents. And
I have often had four Coaches and Horses at once on my Table
full of Company, while I sate in my Chair, leaning my Face
towards them; and when I was engaged with one Sett, the
Coachman would gently drive the others round my Table. I
have passed many an Afternoon very agreeably in these Conversations. But I defy the Treasurer, or his two Informers, (I will
name them, and let 'em make their best of it) Clustril and Drulio,
to prove that any Person ever came to me incognito, except the
Secretary Reldresal, who was sent by express Command of his
Imperial Majesty, as I have before related. I should not have
dwelt so long upon this Particular, if it had not been a Point
wherein the Reputation of a great Lady is so nearly concerned,
to say nothing of my own; though I had then the Honour to be
a Nardac, which the Treasurer himself is not; for all the World
knows he is only a Gluuwig;  Title inferiour by one Degree, as
that of a Marquiss is to aeDuke in E-laned alowughe
preceded-    in right of his Post. These false -itormations,
which I afterwards came to the knowledge of, by an Accident
not proper to mention, made Elimnaj, the Treasurer, shew his
Lady for some time an ill Countenance, and me a worse; and
although he were at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet
I lost all Credit with him, and found my Interest decline very
fast with the E eror himself, who was inI  too much oerned
by that Favourite.




94


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER VII.
The Author being informed of a Design to accuse him of HighTreason, makes his Escape to Blefuscu.  His Reception
there.
BEFORE I proceed to give an account of my leaving this
Kingdom, it may be proper to inform the Reader of a private
Intrigue which had been for two Months forming against me.
I had been hitherto all my Life a Stranger to Courts, for which
I was unqualified by the Meanness of my Condition. I had
indeed heard and read enough of the Dispositions of great
Princes and Ministers; but never expected to have found such
terrible Effects of them in so remote a Country, governed, as
I thought, by very different Maxims from those of Europe.
When I was just preparing to pay my Attendance on the Emperor
of Blefuscu, a considerable Person at Court (to whom I had been
very serviceable at a time when he lay under the highest Displeasure of his Imperial Majesty) came to my House very privately at Night in a close Chair, and, without sending his Name,
desired admittance: The Chair-Men were dismissed; I put the
Chair, with his Lordship in it, into my Coat-Pocket; and giving
Orders to a trusty Servant to say I was indisposed and gone to
sleep, I fastened the Door of my House, placed the Chair on
the Table, according to my usual Custom, and sate down by it.
After the common Salutations were over, observing his Lordship's
Countenance full of Concern; and enquiring into the reason, he
desired I would hear him with patience in a Matter that highly
concerned my Honour and my Life. His Speech was to the
following effect, for I took Notes of it as soon as he left me.




A A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


95


You are to know, said he, that several Committees of Council
have been lately called in the most private manner on your
account: And it is but two days since his Majesty came to a full
Resolution.
You are very sensible that Skyris Bolgolam (Galbet, or High
Admiral) hath been your mortal Enemy almost ever since your
Arrival: His original Reasons I know not; but his Hatred is
much encreased since your great Success against Blefuscu, by
which his Glory, as Admiral, is obscur'd. This Lord, in conjunction with 7Elirnap the High Treasurer, whose Enmity against
you is notorious on account of his Lady, Limtoc the General,
Lalcon the Chamberlain, and Balmnff the grand Justiciary, have
prepared Articles of Impeachment against you, for Treason, and
other capital Crimes.
This Preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my
own Merits and Innocence, that I was going to interrupt; when
he entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded.
Out of Gratitude for the Favours you have done me, I procured Information of the whole Proceedings, and a Copy of the
Articles, wherein I venture my Head for your Service.
Articles of Impeachment against Quinbus Flestrin (the
Man-Mountain.)
ARTICLE I.
Whereas, by a Statute made in the Reign of his Imperial
Majesty Ca/in Deffar Plune, it is enacted, That whoever shall
make water within the. Precincts of the Royal Palace, shall be
liable to the Pains and Penalties of High Treason: Notwithstanding the said Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the said
Law, under colour of extinguishing the Fire kindled in the Apartment of his Majesty's dear Imperial Consort, did maliciously,
traitorously, and. devilishly, by discharge of his Urine, put out the
said Fire kindled in the said Apartment, lying and being within
the Precincts of the said Royal Palace, against the Statute in that
case provided, etc. against the Duty, etc.




96


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


ARTICLE II.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin having brought the Imperial
Fleet of Blefuscu into the Royal Port, and being afterwards commanded by his Imperial Majesty to seize all the other Ships of
the said Empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that Empire to a Province, to be governed by a Vice-Roy from hence, and to destroy
and put to death not only all the Big-Endian Exiles, but likewise
all the People of that Empire, who would not immediately forsake
the Big-Endian Heresy: He the said Flestrin, like a false Traitor
against his most Auspicious, Serene, Imperial Majesty, did petition
to be excused from the said Service upon pretence of unwillingness
to force the Consciences, or destroy the Liberties and Lives of
an innocent People.
ARTICLE III.
That, whereas certain Embassadors arrived from the Court of
Blefuscu, to sue for Peace in his Majesty's Court: He the said
Flestrin did, like a false Traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert
the said Embassadors, although he knew them to be Servants to
a Prince who was lately an open Enemy to his Imperial Majesty,
and in open War against his said Majesty.
ARTICLE IV.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the Duty of a
faithful subject, is now preparing to make a Voyage to the Court
and Empire of Blefuscu, for which he hath received only verbal
Licence from his Imperial Majesty; and under colour of the said
Licence doth falsly and traitorously intend to take the said
Voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the Emperor of
B/efuscu, so late an Enemy, and in open War with his Imperial
Majesty aforesaid.
There are some other Articles, but these are the most umportant, of which I have read you an Abstract.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


97


In the several Debates upon this Impeachment, it must be
confessed that his Majesty gave many marks of his great Lenity,
often urging the Services you had done him, and endeavouring
to extenuate your Crimes. The Treasurer and Admiral insisted
that you should be put to the most painful and ignominious Death,
by setting fire on your House at Night, and the General was to
attend with twenty thousand Men armed with poisoned Arrows
to shoot you on the Face and Hands. Some of your Servants
were to have private Orders to strew a poisonous Juice on your
Shirts, which would soon make you tear your own Flesh, and die
in the utmost Torture. The General came into the same Opinion;
so that for a long time there was a Majority against you: but his
Majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your Life, at last brought
off the Chamberlain.
Upon this Incident, Reldresal, Principal Secretary for private
Affairs, who always approved himself your true Friend, was
commanded by the Emperor to deliver his Opinion, which he
accordingly did: and therein justify'd the good Thoughts you
have of him. He allowed your Crimes to be great, but that still
there was room for Mercy, the most commendable Virtue in a
Prine, and for which his Majesty was soJuslyTcel-btebd. He
said, the Friendship between you and him was so well known to
the World, that perhaps the most honourable Board might think
him partial: However, in obedience to the Command he had
received, he would freely offer his Sentiments. That if his
Majesty, in consideration of your Services, and pursuant to his
own merciful Disposition, would please to spare your Life, and
only give order to put out both your Eyes, he humbly conceived,
that by this Expedient, Justice might in some measure be satisfied,
and all the World would applaud the Lenity of the Emperor, as
well as the fair and generous Proceedings of those who have the
Honour to be his Counsellors. That the loss of your Eyes would
be no Impediment to your bodily Strength, by which you might
still be useful to his Majesty. That Blindness is an addition to
Courage, by concealing Dangers from us; that the Fear you had
for your Eyes, was the greatest Difficulty in bringing over the
G




98               GULLI VER'S TRAVELS
Enemy's Fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the
/   Eyes of the Ministers, simce the greatest Princes do nolmore.
This Proposal was received with the utmost Disapprobation by
the whole Board. Bolgolan, the Admiral, could not preserve his
Temper; but risin up in Fury, said, he wondered how the Secretary durst presume to give his Opinion for preserving the Life of
a Traytor: That the Services you had performed, were, by all true
Reasons of State, the great Aggravation of your Crimes; that you,
who were able to' extinguish the Fire, by discharge of Urine in her
Majesty's Apartment (which he mentioned with horror) might, at
another time, raise an Inundation by the same means, to drown the
whole Palace; and the same Strength which enabled you to bring
over the Enemy's Fleet, might serve, upon the first Discontent to
carry it back: That he had good Reasons to think you were a BigEndian in your heart; and as Treason begins in the Heart before
it appears in Overt-Acts, so he accused you- as a Tray-T oron that
account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.
The Treasurer was of the same Opinion; he shewed to what
streights his Majesty's Revenue was reduced by the charge of
maintaining you, which would soon grow insupportable: That
the Secretary's Expedient of putting out your Eyes was so far
from being a Remedy against this Evil, it would probably increase
it, as it is manifest from the common practice of blinding some
kind of Fowl, after which they fed the 'faster, and grew sooner
fat: That his sacred Majesty, and the Council, who are your
Judges, were in their own Consciences fully convinced of your
Guilt, which was a sufficient Argument to condemn you to Death,
without the formal Proofs required by the strict Letter of the Law.
But his Imperial Majesty fully determined against capital
Punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the
Council thought the loss of your Eyes too easy a Censure,
some other may be inflicted hereafter. And your Friend the
Secretary humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what
the Treasurer had objected concerning the great Charge his
Majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his Excellency,
who had the sole disposal of the Emperor's Revenue, might




A VOYAGE TO'4LLIPUT.                   99
easily provide against that Evil, by gradually lessening your
Establishment; by which, for want of sufficient Food, you would
grow weak and faint, and lose your Appetite, and consequently
decay and donsume in a few Months; neither would the Stench
of your Carcass be then so dangerous, when it should become
more than half diminished; and immediately upon your Death,
five or six Thousand of his Mlajesty's Subjects might, in two or
three days,;cut your Flesh from your Bones, take it away by
Cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts to prevent Infection,
leaving the Skeleton as a Monument of Admiration to Posterity.
Thus by the great Friendship of the Secretary, the whole
Affair was compromised. It was strictly enjoin'd, that the Project of starving you by degrees should be kept a Secret, b:lithe
Sentence of putting out your Eyes was entered on the Boobks;
none dissenting except Bolgolam the Admiral, who being a Creature of the Empress, was perpetually instigated by her Majesty
to insist upon your Death, she having born perpetual Malice
against you, on account of that infamous and illegal Method
you took to extinguish the Fire in her Apartment.
In three days your Friend the Secretary will be directed to
come to your House, and read before you the Articles of Impeachment; and then to signify the great Lenity and Favour of
his Majesty and Council, whereby you are only condemned to
the loss of your Eyes, which His Majesty doth not question you
will gratefully and humbly submit to; and twenty of his Majesty's
Surgeons will attend, in order to see the Operation well per —
formed, by discharging very sharp-pointed Arrows into the Balls
of your Eyes, as you lie on the Ground.
I leave to your Prudence what Measures you will take; and
to avoid Suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a
manner as I came.
His Lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many
Doubts and Perplexities of Mind.
It was a Custom introduced by this Prince and his Ministry,
(very different, as I have been assured, from the Practices of
former Times) that after the Court had decreed any cruel




I00


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Execution, either to gratify the Monarch's Resentment, or the
Malice of a Favourite, the Emperor made a Speech to his whole
Council, expressing his great Lenity and Tenderness, as Qualities
known and confessed by all the World. This Speech was immediately published through the Kingdom; nor did any thing terrify
the People so much as those Encomiums on his Majesty's Mercy;
because it was observed, that the more these Praises were enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the Punishment,
and the Sufferer more innocent. And as to myself, I must confess, having never been designed for a Courtier either by my
Birth or Education, I was so ill a Judge of Things, that I could
not discover the Lenity and Favour of this Sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle.
I sometimes thought ofstanding my Tryal, for although I could
not deny the Facts alledged in the several Articles, yet I hoped
they would admit of some Extenuations. But having in my Life
perused many State-Tryals, which I ever observed to terminate as
the Judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous
a Decision, in so critical a Juncture, and against such powerful
- -------- -
Enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon Resistance, for while
I had Liberty, the whole Strength of that Empire could hardly
subdue me, and I might easily with Stones pelt the Metropolis
to pieces; but I soon rejected that Project with Horror, by
remembering the Oath I had made to the Emperor, the Favours
I received from him, and the High Title of Nardac he conferred
upon Me. Neither had I so soon learned the Gratitude of
Courtiers, to persuade myself that his Majesty's present Severities acquitted me of all past Obligations.
At last I fixed upon a Resolution, for which it is probable I
may incur some Censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe
the preserving mine Eyes, and consequently my Liberty, to my
own great Rashness and want of Experience: because if I had
then known the Nature of Princes and Ministers, which I have
since observed in many other Courts, and their Methods of treat.
ing Criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should with great
alacrity and readiness have submitted to so easy a Punishment.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


IOI


But hurry'd on by the Precipitancy of Youth, and having his
Imperial Majesty's Licence to pay my Attendance upon the
Emperor of Blefuscu, I took this Opportunity, before the three
Days were elapsed, to send a Letter to my Friend the Secretary,
signifying my Resolution of setting out that Morning for Blefuscu
pursuant to the leave I had got; and without waiting for an
Answer, I went to that side of the Island where our Fleet lay.
I seized a large Man of War, tyed a Cable to the Prow, and
lifting up the Anchors, I stript myself, put my Cloaths (together
with my Coverlet, which I brought under my Arm) into the
Vessel, and drawing it after me between wading and swimming,
arrived at the Royal Port of Blefuscu, where the People had long
expected me; they lent me two Guides to direct me to the
Capital City, which is of the same Name. I held them in my
Hands till I came within two hundred Yards of the Gate, and
desired them to signify my Arrival to one of the Secretarys, and
let him know, I there waited his Majesty's Command. I had an
Answer in about an Hour, that his Majesty, attended by the Royal
Family, and great Officers of the Court, was coming out to receive
me. I advanced a Hundred Yards. The Emperor, and his Train,
alighted from their Horses, the Empress and Ladies from their
Coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any Fright or Concern.
I lay on the Ground to kiss his Majesty's and the Empress's Hand.
I told his Majesty that I was come according to my Promise, and
with the Licence of the Emperor my Master, to have the Honour
of seeing so Mighty a Monarch, and to offer him any Service in
my power, consistent with my Duty to my own Prince; not mentioning a Word of my Disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular
Information of it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant of
any such Design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the
Emperor would discover the Secret while I was out of his power:
wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.
I shall not trouble the Reader with the particular Account of my
Reception at this Court, which was suitable to the Generosity of so
great a Prince; nor of the Difficulties I was in for want of a House
and Bed, being forced to lie on the Ground, wrapt up in my Coverlet.




102


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER VIII.
The Author, by a lucky Accident, finds means to leave Blefiscu;
and, after some Difficulties, returns safe to his Na7tive Country.
HREE Days after my Arrival, walking out of Curiosity to
the North-East Coast of the Island, I observed, about half
a League off, in the Sea, somewhat that looked like a Boat overturned. I pulled off my Shoes and Stockings, and wading two
or three Hundred Yards, I found the Object to approach nearer
by force of the Tide; and then plainly saw it to be a real Boat,
which I supposed might, by some Tempest, have been driven
from a Ship: whereupon I returned immediately towards the
City, and desired his Imperial Majesty to lend me twenty of the
tallest Vessels he had left after the Loss of his Fleet, and three
thousand Seamen under the Command of the Vice-Admiral.
This Fleet sailed round, while I went back the shortest way to
the Coast where I first discovered the Boat; I found the Tide
had driven it still nearer. The Seamen were all provided with
Cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength.
When the Ships came up, I stript my self, and waded till I came
within an hundred Yards of the Boat, after which I was forced to
swim till I got up to it. The Seamen threw me the end of the
Cord, which I fastned to a Hole in the fore-part of the Boat, and
the other end to a Man of War: But I found all my Labour to
little purpose; for being out of my depth, I was not able to work.
In this Necessity, I was forced to swim behind, and push the
Boat forwards as often as I could, with one of my Hands; and
the Tide favouring me, I advanced so far, that I could just hold
up my Chin and feel the Ground. I rested two or three Minutes,




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


Io3


and then gave the Boat another Shove, and so on till the Sea was
no higher than my Arm-pits; and now the most laborious part
being over, I took out my other Cables which were stowed in one
of the Ships, and fastening them first to the Boat, and then to
nine of the Vessels which attended me; the Wind being favourable the Sea-men towed, and I shoved till we arrived within forty
Yards of the Shore, and waiting till the Tide was out, I got dry
to the Boat, and by the assistance of two thousand Men, with
Ropes and Engines, I made a shift to turn it on its Bottom, and
found it was but little damaged.
I shall not trouble the Reader with the Difficulties I was under
by the help of certain Paddles, which cost me ten days making,
to get my Boat to the Royal Port of BlRfscu, where a mighty
concourse of People appeared upon my arrival, full of Wonder,
at the sight of so prodigious a Vessel. I told the Emperor that
my good Fortune had thrown this Boat in my way, to carry me to
some place from whence I might return into my native Country,
and begged his Majesty's Orders for getting Materials to fit it up,
together with his Licence to depart; which, after some kind
Expostulations, he was pleased to grant.
I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of
any Express relating to me from our Emperor to the Court of
Blefuscu.  But I was afterwards given privately to understand,
that his Imperial Majesty, never imagining I had the least notice
of his Designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the Licence he had given me,
which was well known at our Court, and would return in a few
days when that Ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain
at my long absence; and, after consulting with the Treasurer,
and the rest of that Cabal, a Person of Quality was dispatched
with the Copy of the Articles against me. This Envoy had
Instructions to represent to the Monarch of B/efusczc, the great
Lenity of his Master, who was content to punish me no further
than with the loss of mine Eyes; that I had fled from Justice,
and if I did not return in two Hours, I should be deprived of my
Title of NTardac, and declared a Traitor.  The Envoy further




1o4


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


added, that in order to maintain the Peace and Amity between
both Empires, his Master expected, that his Brother of Blefuscu
would give Orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound Hand
and Foot, to be punished as a Traitor.
The Emperor of Blefuscu having taken three Days to consult,
returned an Answer, consisting of many Civilities and Excuses.
He said, that as for sending me bound, his Brother knew it was
impossible; that although I had deprived him of his Fleet, yet he
owed great Obligations to me for many good Offices I had done
him in making the Peace. That however both their Majesties
would soon be made easy; for I had found a prodigious Vessel
on the Shore, able to carry me on the Sea, which he had given
orders to fit up with my own Assistance and Direction; and he
hoped in a few Weeks both Empires would be freed from so
insupportable an Incumbrance.
With this Answer the Envoy returned to Lilipztt, and the
Monarch of Blefusac related to me all that had past; offering
me at the same time (but under the strictest Confidence) his
gracious Protection, if I would continue in his Service; wherein
although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put
any Confidence in Princes or Ministers, where I could possibly
avoid it; and therefore, with all due Acknowledgments for his
favourable Intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told
him, that since Fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a
Vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself in the Ocean,
rather than be an occasion of Difference between two such mighty
Monarchs. Neither did I find the Emperor at all displeased;
and I discover'd, by a certain Accident, that he was very glad of
my Resolution, and so were most of his Ministers.
These Considerations moved me to hasten my Departure somewhat sooner than I intended; to which the Court, impatient to
have me gone, very readily contributed. Five Hundred Workmen were employed to make two Sails to my Boat,-according to
my Directions, by quilting thirteen fold of their strongest Linnen
together. I was at the pains of making Ropes and Cables, by
twisting ten, twenty or thirty of the thickest and strongest of theirs.




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


Io5


A great Stone that I happen'd to find, after a long Search by the
Sea-shore, served me for an Anchor. I had the Tallow of three
hundred Cows for greasing my Boat, and other Uses. I was at
incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest Timber-Trees
for Oars and Masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by
his Majesty's Ship-Carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,
after I had done the rough Work.
In about a Month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his
Majesty's Commands, and to take my leave. The Emperor and
Royal Family came out of the Palace; I lay down on my Face to
kiss his Hand, which he very graciously gave me; so did the
Empress, and young Princes of the Blood.  His Majesty presented me with fifty Purses of two hundred Sprugs a-piece,
together with his Picture at full length, which I put immediately
into one of my Gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The Ceremonies at my Departure were too many to trouble the Reader
with at this time.
I stored the Boat with the Carcasses of an hundred Oxen and
three hundred Sheep, with Bread and Drink proportionable, and
as much Meat ready dressed as four hundred Cooks could provide.
I took with me six Cows and two Bulls alive, with as many Ewes
and Rams, intending to carry them into my own Country, and
propagate the Breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good
Bundle of Hay, and a Bag of Corn. I would gladly have taken
a Dozen of the Natives, but this was a thing the Emperor would
by no means permit; and besides a diligent Search into my
Pockets, his Majesty engaged my Honour not to carry away any
of his Subjects, although with their own Consent and Desire.
Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set
sail on the twenty-fourth Day of Septevmber I7or, at six in the
Morning; and when I had gone about four Leagues to the Northward, the Wind being at South-East, at six in the Evening, I
descryed a small Island about half a League to the North-West.
I advanced forward, and cast Anchor on the Lee-side of the
Island, which seemed to be uninhabited.  I then took some




xo6


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and I conjecture at least six Hours, for I found the Day broke in two Hours
after I awaked. It was a clear Night. I eat my Breakfast before
the Sun was up; and heaving Anchor, the Wind being favourable,
I steered the same Course that I had done the Day before,
wherein I was directed by my Pocket-Compass. My Intention
was to reach, if possible, one of those Islands, which I had reason
to believe lay to the North-East of Van Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all that Day; but upon the next, about three in
the Afternoon, when I had by my Computation made twenty-four
Leagues from Blefuscu, I descryed a Sail steering to the SouthEast; my Course was due East. I hailed her, but could get no
Answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the Wind slackned.
I made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spyed me,
then hung out her Antient, and discharged a Gun.  It is not
easy to express the Joy I was in upon the unexpected hope of
once more seeing my beloved Country, and the dear Pledges I
left in it. The Ship slackned her Sails, and I came up with her
between five and six in the Evening, September 26; but my Heart
leapt within me to see her Eng/ish Colours. I put my Cows and
Sheep into my Coat-Pockets, and got on board with all my little
Cargo of Provisions. The Vessel was an English Merchant-Man,
returning from Japan by the Nort/h and Soul/t-Seas; the Captain,
Mr. John Biddel of Deptford, a very civil Man, and an excellent
Sailor. We were now in the Latitude of 30 Degrees South, there
were about fifty Men in the Ship; and here I met an old Comrade
of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good Character to
the Captain.  This Gentleman treated me with Kindness, and
desired I would let him know what place I came from last, and
whither I was bound; which I did in few Words, but he thought
I was raving, and that the Dangers I underwent had disturbed
my Head; whereupon I took my black Cattle and Sheep out of
my Pocket, which, after great Astonishment, clearly convil'c ed
him of my Veracity. I then shewed him the Gold given nie by
the Emperor of Lilliput, together with his Majesty's Pic:ure;t




A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.


I07


full length, and some other Rarities of that Country. I gave him
two Purses of two hundreds-7,s each, and promised, when we
arrived in England, to make him a Present of a Cow and a Sheep
big with Young.
I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular Account of this
Voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. WAVe arrived
in the Downs on the I3th of April 1702. I had only one Misfortune, that the Rats on board carried away one of my Sheep;
I found her Bones in a Hole, picked clean from the Flesh. The
rest of my Cattle I got safe on shore, and set them a grazing in a
Bowling-Green at Greenweich, where the Fineness of the Grass
made them feed very heartily, though I had always feared the
contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved them in so
long a Voyage, if the Captain had not allowed me some of his
best Bisket, which rubbed to Powder, and mingled with Water,
was their constant Food. The short time I continued in England, I made a considerable Profit by shewing my Cattle to many
Persons of Quality, and others: and before I began my second
Voyage, I sold them for six hundred Pounds. Since my last
return, I find the Breed is considerably increased, especially the
Sheep; which I hope will prove much to the Advantage of the
Woollen Manufacture, by the Fineness of the Fleeces.
I stayed but two Months with my Wife and Family; for my
insatiable Desire of seeing foreign Countries would suffer me to
continue no longer. I left fifteen hundred Pounds with my Wife,
and fixed her in a good House at Redriff. My remaining Stock
I carried with me, part in Money, and part in Goods, in hopes to
improve my Fortunes. My eldest Uncle John had left me an
Estate in Land, near Epping, of about Thirty Pounds a Year;
and I had a long Lease of the Black-Bull in Fetter-Lane, which
yielded me as much more: so that I was not in any danger of
leaving my Family upon the Parish. My Son Johnny, named so
after his Uncle, was at the Grammar School, and a towardly
Child. My Daughter Betty (who is now well married, and has
Children) was then at her Needle-Work. I took leave of my




lo8


GULLIVER'S TRAA VELS.


Wife, and Boy and Girl, with Tears or both sides, and went on
board the Adv7eaure, a MIerchant-Ship of three hundred tons,
bound for Suvrah. CaptaiJon John   ichlas of Liverpool Commander.
But my Account of this Voyage ln-Lst be referred to the Second
Part of my Trave!e.


The End of the First Part.








TRAVELS
INTO SEVERAL
Remote Nations
OF THE
WORLD.
By Capltain LEMUEL GULLIVER.
PART II.
A VOYAGE to BROBDINGNAG.
LONDON:


Printed in the Year, MDCCXXVI.








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1703.


Sc Sebafhfin


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P. Monte~rey


BROBDINGNNAG


[face Pt. 11,1". I I'






TRAVELS.
PART II.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
CHAPTER I.
A great Storm described, the Long-Boat sent to fetch Water, the
Author goes zeith it to discover the Country. Hie is left on
Shore, is seized by one of the Natives, and carried to a Farmer's
House.  His Reception there, with several Accidents that happened there. A Description of the Inhabitants.
H   AVING been condemned by Nature and Fortune to an
active and restless Life, in ten Months after my Return, I
again left my native Country, and took Shipping in the Downs on
the 20oh Day of June 1702, in the Adventure, Capt. John Nicholas,
a Cornish Man, Commander, bound for Surat. We had a very
prosperous Gale till we arrived at the Cape of Good-hope, where
we landed for fresh Water, but discovering a Leak we unshipped
our Goods, and winter'd there; for the Captain falling sick of an
Ague, we could not leave the Caope till the end of March. We
then set sail, and had a good Voyage till we passed the Streights
of Madagascar; but having got Northward of that Island, and to
about five Degrees South Latitude, the Winds, which in those
Seas are observed to blow a constant equal Gale between the
North and West from the beginning of December to the beginning
3 lI0 ly~0        IIU       0~~~~I




112


G ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


of May, on the i9th of April began to blow with much greater
Violence, and more Westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty
Days together, during which time we were driven a little to the
East of the Molucca Islands, and about three Degrees Northward
of the Line, as our Captain found by an Observation he took the
2d of May, at which time the Wind ceased, and it was a perfect
Calm, whereat I was not a little rejoyced. But he being a Man
well experienc'd in the Navigation of those Seas, bid us all prepare against a Storm, which accordingly happened the Day
following: For a Southern Wind, called the Southern Monsoon,
began to set in.
Finding it was like to overblow, we took in our Sprit-sail, and
stood by to hand the Fore-sail; but making foul Weather, we
look'd the Guns were all fast, and handed the Missen. The Ship
lay very broad off, so we thought it better spooning before the
Sea, than trying or hulling. We reeft the Fore-sail and set him,
we hawl'd aft the Fore-sheet; the Helm was hard a Weather.
The Si'p wvore bravely. We belay'd the Fore-down-hall; but the
Sail was split, and we hawld down the Yard, and got the Sail
into the Ship, and;unboulnd all the things clear of it. It was a
very fiercc Storm; the Sea broke strange and dangerous. We
hawi'd off upon the Lanniard of the Whip-staff, and helped the
man at Helm. We would not get down our Top-mast, but let
all stand, because she scudded before the Sea very well, and we
knew that the Top-mast being aloft, the Ship was the wholesomer, and made better way thro' the Sea, seeing we had Searoom. When the Storm was over, we set Fore-sail and Mainsail, and brought the Ship to. Then we set the Missen, Maintopsail and the Foretop-sail. Our Course was East North-east, the
Wind was at South-west  We got the Star-board Tacks aboard,
we cast off our Weather-braces and Lifts; we set in the Leebraces, and hawl'd forward by the Weather-bowlings, and hawl'd
them tight, and belayed them, and hawl'd over the Missen
Tack to Windward, and kept her full and by as near as she
could lye.
During this Storm, which was followed by a strong Wind West




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I113


South-west, we were carried, by my Computation, about five
hundred Leagues to the East, so that the oldest Sailor on Board
could not tell in what part of the World we were. Our Provisions
held out well, our Ship was staunch, and our Crew all in good
Health; but we lay in the utmost Distress for Water. We
thought it best to hold on the same Course, rather than turn
more Northerly, which might have brought us to the North-west
parts of Great Tarfary, and into the frozen Sea.
On the i6th Day of June I703 a Boy on the Top-mast discovered Land. On the I7th we came in full View of a great
Island or Continent (for we knew not whether) on the South-side
whereof was a small Neck of Land jutting out into the Sea, and
a Creek too shallow to hold a Ship of above one hundred Tuns.
We cast Anchor within a League of this Creek, and our Captain
sent a dozen of his Men well armed in the Long Boat, with Vessels
for Water, if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with
them, that I might see the Country, and make what Discoveries
I could. When we came to Land we saw no River or Spring,
nor any sign of Inhabitants. Our Men therefore wander'd on
the Shore to find out some fresh Water near the Sea, and I
walked alone about a mile on the other Side, where I observed
the Country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary,
and seeing nothing to entertain my Curiosity, I returned gently
down towards the Creek; and the Sea being full in my View, I
saw our Men already got into the Boat, and rowing for Life to
the Ship. I was going to hollow after them, although it had
been to- little purpose, when I observed a huge Creature walking
after them in the Sea, as fast as he could: He waded not much
deeper than his Knees, and took prodigious strides: But our
Men had the start of him half a League, and the Sea thereabouts
being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the Monster was not able to
overtake the Boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not
stay to see the Issue of that Adventure; but ran as fast as I
could the way I first went; and then climbed up a steep Hill,
which gave me some Prospect of the Country. I found it fully
cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the Length of
H




II4


* GULLIVER'S TRA VEL S

the Grass, which in those Grounds that secnelec to be kept for
Hay, was above twenty Foot high.
I fell'into a high Road, for so I took it to i:., t'ough it served
to the Inhabitants only as a foot Path throuih;- Field of Barley.
Here I walked on for some time, but could see little on either
Side, it being now near Harvest, and the Corn rising at least forty
Foot. I was an Hour walking to the end of this Field, which
was fenced in with a Hedge of at least one hundred and twenty
Foot high, and the Trees so lofty that I could make no Computation of their Altitude. There was a Stile to pass from this Field
into the next. It had four Steps, and a Stone to cross over
when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me to
climb this Stile, because every Step was six Foot high, and the
upper Stone above twenty. I was endeavouring to find some Gap
in the Hedge, when I discovered one of the Inhabitants in the
next Field, advancing towards the Stile, of the same Size with
him whom I saw in the Sea, pursuing our Boat. He appeared..as tall as an ordinary Spire-steeple, and took about ten Yards
at every Stride, as near as I could guess. I was struck with the
utmost Fear and Astonishment, and ran to hide my self in the
Corn, from whence I saw him at the top of the Style, looking
back into the next Field on the right hand, and heard him call-in
a Voice many degrees louder than a speaking Trumpet; but the
Noise was so high in the Air, that at first I certainly thought
it was thunder. Whereupon seven Monsters like himself came
towards him with Reaping-hooks in their Hands, each Hook about
the largeness of six Scythes. These People were not so well clad
as the first, whose Servants or Labourers they seemed to be: For
upon some Words he spoke, they went to reap the Corn in the
Field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I
c6uld, but was forced to move with extreme Difficulty, for the
Stalks of the Corn were sometimes not above a Foot distant, so
that I could hardly squeeze my Body betwixt them. I made
a shift to go forward till I came to a part of the Field where the
Corn had been laid by the Rain and Wind. Here it was impossible for me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I I


that I could not creep thorough, and the Beards of the fallen Ears
so strong and pointed that they pierced through my Cloaths into
my Flesh. At the same time I heard the Reapers not above an
hundred Yards behind me. Being quite dispirited with Toil, and
wholly overcome by Grief and Despair, I lay down between two
Ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my Days.  I
bemoaned my desolate Widow, and Fatherless Children.   I
lamented my own Folly and Wilfulness in attempting a second
Voyage against the Advice of all my Friends and Relations. In
this terrible Agitation of Mind I could not forbear thinking of
LillZut, whose Inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest Prodigy that ever appeared in the World: Where I was able to
draw an Imperial Fleet in my Hand, and perform those other
Actions which will be recorded for ever in the Chronicles of that
Empire, while Posterity shall hardly believe them, although attested
by Millions. I reflected what a Mortification it must prove to
me to appear as inconsiderable in this Nation as one single Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the
least of my Misfortunes: For, as human Creatures are observed
to be more savage and cruel in Proportion to their Bulk, what
could I expect but to be a Morsel in the Mouth of the first
among these enormous Barbarians that should happen to seize
me? Undoubtedly Philosophers are in the right when they tell
us, that nothing is great or little otherwise than by Comparison.
It might have pleased Fortune to let the Lilliptians find some
Nation, where the People were as diminutive with respect to
them, as they were to me. And who knows but that even this
prodigious Race of Mortals might be equally overmatched in some
distant part of the World, whereof we have yet no Discovery?
Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going
on with these Reflections, when one of the Reapers approaching
within ten Yards of the Ridge where I lay, made me apprehend
that with the next Step I should be squashed to Death under
his Foot, or cut in two with his Reaping-hook. And therefore
when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as Fear
could make me. Whereupon the huge Creature trod short, and




i16


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


looking round about under him for some time, at last espied me
as I lay on the Ground. He considered a while with the Caution
of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous Animal
in such a manner that it may not be able either to scratch or to
bite him, as I myself have sometimes done with a Weasel in
England. At length he ventured to take me up behind by the
Middle between his fore Finger and Thumb, and brought me
within three Yards of his Eyes, that he might behold my Shape
more perfectly. I guessed his Meaning, and my good Fortune
gave me so much Presence of Mind, that I resolved not to struggle
in the least as he held me in the Air, about sixty Foot from the
Ground, although he grievously pinched my Sides, for fear I
should slip through his Fingers. All I ventured was to raise mine
Eyes towards the Sun, and place my Hands together in a supplicating Posture, and to speak some Words in an humble and
melancholy Tone, suitable to the Condition I then was in. For
I apprehended every Moment that he would dash me against the
Ground, as we usually do any little hateful Animal which we have
a mind to destroy. But my good Star would have it, that he
appeared pleased with my Voice and Gestures, and began to look
upon me as a Curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce
articulate Words, although he could not understand them. In
the mean time I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding
Tears, and turning my Head towards my Sides; letting him know,
as well as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by the Pressure of his
Thumb and Finger. He seemed to apprehend my Meaning;
for, lifting up the Lappet of his Coat, he put me gently into it,
and immediately ran along with me to his Master, who was a
substantial Farmer, and the same Person I had first seen in
the Field.
The Farmer having (as I supposed by their Talk) received
such an Account of me as his Servant could give him, took a
piece of a small Straw, about the size of a walking Staff, and
therewith lifted up the Lappets of my Coat; which it seems he
thought to be some kind of Covering that Nature had given me.
He blew my Hairs aside to take a better View of my Face. He




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


II7


called his Hinds about him, and asked them (as I afterwards
learned) whether they had ever seen in the Fields any little
Creature that resembled me? He then placed me softly on the
Ground upon all four, but I got immediately up, and walked
slowly backwards and forwards, to let those People see I had no
Intent to run away. They all sate down in a Circle about me,
the better to observe my motions.  I pulled off my Hat, and
made a low Bow towards the Farmer. I fell on my Knees, and
lifted up my Hands and Eyes, and spoke several Words as loud
as I could: I took a Purse of Gold out of my Pocket, and
humbly presented it to him. He received it on the Palm of his
Hand, then applied it close to his Eye, to see what it was, and
afterwards turned it several times with the Point of a Pin, (which
he took out of his Sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a Sign that he should place his Hand on the
Ground. I took the Purse, and opening it, poured all the Gold
into his Palm. There were six.Sanish Pieces of four Pistoles
each, besides twenty or thirty smaller Coins. I saw him wet the
Tip of his little Finger upon his Tongue, and take up one of my
largest Pieces, and then another, but he seemed to be wholly
ignorant what they were. He made me a Sign to put them again
into my Purse, and the Purse again into my Pocket, which after
offering to him several times, I thought it best to do.
The Farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational
Creature. He spoke often to me, but the Sound of his Voice
pierced my Ears like that of a Water-Mill, yet his Words were
articulate enough.  I answered as loud as I could, in several
Languages, and he often laid his Ear within two Yards of me;
but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other.
He then sent his Servants to their Work, and taking his Handkerchief out of his Pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left
Hand, which he placed flat on the Ground, with the Palm
upwards, making me a Sign to step into it, as I could easily do,
for it was not above a Foot in thickness. I thought it my part
to obey, and for fear of falling, laid my self at Length upon the
Handkerchief, with the Remainder of which he lapped me up to




GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


the Head for further, Security, and in this manner carried me
home to his House. There he called his Wife, and shewed me
to her; but she screamed and ran back, as Women in England.
do at the sight of a Toad or a Spider. However, when she had
a while seen my Behaviour, and how well I observed the Signs
her Husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees
grew extremely tender of me...t was about twelve at Noon, and a Servant brought in Dinner.
It was only one substantial Dish of Meat (fit for the plain Condition of an Husbandman) in a Dish of about four and twenty Foot:iameter. The Company were the Farmer and his Wife, three
Children, and an old Grandmother: When they were sat down,
the Farmer placed me at some Distance from him on the Table,
which was thirty Foot high from the Floor. I was in a terrible
Fright, and kept as far as I could from the Edge for fear of
falling. The Wife minced a Bit of Meat, then crumbled some
Bread on a Trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a
low Bow, took out my Knife and Fork, and fell to eat, which
gave them exceeding Delight. The Mistress sent her Maid for a
small Dram-cup, which held about three Gallons, and filled it
with Drink. I took up the Vessel with much difficulty in both
Hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her Ladyship's
Health, expressing the Words as loud as I could in English,
which made the Company laugh so heartily, that I was almost
deafned with the Noise. This Liquor tasted like "a small Cyder,
and was not unpleasant. Then the Master made me a Sign to
come to his Trencher-side; but as I walked on the Table, being
in great Surprize all the Time, as the indulgent Reader will easily
conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a Crust, and
fell flat on my Face, but received no Hurt,  I got up immediately, and observing the good People to be in much Concern, I
took my Hat (which I held under my Arm out of god- Manners)
and waving it over my Head, made three Huzza's% to shew I had
got no Mischief by my Fall. But advancing forwards toward my
Master (as I shall henceforth call him) his youngest Son who sate
next him, an arch Boy of about ten Years old, took me up by the




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


II9


Legs, and held me so high in the Air, that I trembled every
Limb; but his Father snatched me from him, and at the same
time gave him such a Box on the left Ear, as would have felled
an lEzropLcan Troop of Horse to the Earth, ordering him to be
taken from the Table. But being afraid the Boy might owe me a
spight, and well remembring how mischievous all Children among
us naturally are to Sparrows, Rabbits, young Kittens, and Puppy
Dogs, I fell on my Knees, and pointing to the Boy, made my
Master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his Son
might be pardoned. The Father complied, and the Lad took his
Seat again; whereupon I went to him and kissed his Hand, whici
my IMaster took, and mace him stroak me gently with it.
In the midst of Dinner, my Mistress's favourite Cat leapt into
her Lap, I heard a Noise behind me like that of a dozen StockingWeavers at Work; and turning my Head, I found it proceeded
from the purring of this Animal, who seemed to be three times
larger than an Ox, as I conmuted by the View of her Head, and
one of her Paws, while her Mistress was feeding and streaking
her. Tie Fierceness of this Creature's Countenance altogether
discomposed me though I stood at the further End of the Table,
above fifty Foot off, and altho' my Mistress held her fast for fear
she might give a Spring, and seize me in her Talons. But it
happened there was no Danger; for the Cat took not the least
Notice of me when my Master placed me within three Yards of
her. And as I have been always told, and found true by Experience in my Travels, that flying, or discovering Fear before a
fierce Animal, is a certain Way to make it pursue or attack you,
so I resolved in this dangerous Juncture to shew no manner of
Concern. I walked with Intrepidity five or six times before the
very Head of the Cat, and came within half a Yard of her;
whereupon she drew herself back, as if she were more afraid of
me: I had less Apprehension concerning the Dogs, whereof three
or four came into the Room, as it is usual in Farmers Houses;
one of which was a Mastiff, equal in Bulk to four Elephants, and
a Greyhound somewhat taller than the Mastiff, but not so large.
When Dinner was almost done, the Nurse came in with a Child




120


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


of a Year old in her Arms, who immediately spied me, and began
a Squall that you might have heard from Lontdon-Bridge to Chelsea,
after the usual Oratory of Infants, to get me for a Play-thing.
The Mother out of pure Indulgence took me up, and put me
towards the Child, who presently seized me by the Middle, and
got my Head in his MAouth, where I roared so loud that the
Urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly
have broke my Neck if the Mother had not held her Apron under
me. ''The Nurse to quiet her Babe made use of a Rattle, which
was a kind of hollow Vessel filled with great Stones, and fastned
by a Cable to the Child's Wast: But all in vain, so that she was
forced to apply the last Remedy, by giving it suck. I must confess no Object ever disgusted me so much _as_tLhesighL>h<i.r
monstrous Breast, which I cannot tell what to _copmparewith _o
as to give te -   curious Reader an Idea of its Bulk, Shape and
C6olour. ---I- boo c prominent six Foot, and could not be less than
sixteen —in  rciuifeence.- The Nipple was about half the Bigness
of my Head, and tie Hew. both of that and the Dua so varified
with Spots, Pimples and Freckles, that nothing could appear more
nauseous: For I had a near sigIt ofer,e ste s  'd'i0wi dW  the
more conveniently to give Suck, and I standing on the Table.
This made me reflect upon the fair Skins of our EnzglihA Ladies,
who appear so beautiful to us, only because they are of our own
Size, and their Defects not to be seen but through a Magnifyingglass, where we find by Experiment, that the smoothest and
whitest Skins look rough and coarse, and ill coloured.
I Remember when I was at Lilliput, the Complexions of those
diminutive People appeared to me the fairest in the World, and
talking upon this Subject with a Person of Learning there, who
was an intimate Friend of mine, he said that my Face appeared
much fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the
Ground, than it did upon a nearer View when I took him up in
my Hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was at first
a very shocking sight. He said he could discover great Holes in
my Skin; that the Stumps of my Beard were ten times stronger
than the Bristles of a Boar, and my Complexion made up of




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


121


several Colours altogether disagreeable: Although I must beg
leave to say for my self, that I am as fair as most of my Sex and
Country, and very little sun-burnt by my Travels. On the other
Side, discoursing of the Iadies in that Emperor's Court, he used
to tell me, one had Freckles, another too wide a Mouth, a third
too large a Nose, nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I
confess this Reflection was obvious enough; which however I
could not forbear, lest the Reader might think those vast Creatures were actually deformed: For I must do them Justice to say
they are a comely Race of People; and particularly the Features
of my Master's Countenance, although he were but a Farmer,
when I beheld him from the Height of sixty Foot, appeared very
well proportioned.
When Dinner was done, my Master went out to his Labourers,
and as I could discover by his Voice and Gesture, gave his Wife
a strict Charge to take care of me. I was very much tired and
disposed to sleep, which my Mistress perceiving, she put me on
her own Bed, and covered me with a clean white Handkerchief,
but larger and coarser than the Main-sail of a Man of War.
I slept about two Hours, and dreamed I was at home with my
Wife and Children, which aggravated my Sorrows when  awaked
and found my self alone in a vast Room, between two and three
hundred Foot wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a Bed
twenty Yards wide. My Mistress was gone about her household
Affairs, and had locked me in. The Bed was eight Yards from
the Floor. Some natural Necessities requiredme to gt
I durst not presume to call, and if I hadit would have been in
vain, wi suc a  oice as mine, at so great a Distance j froni
thwhre I lay to the Kitchen where the Family kept.
Wh      asunder tese Circumstances, two Rats crept up the
Curtains, and ran smelling backwards and forwards on the Bed.
One of them came up almost to my Face, whereupon I rose in
a Fright, and drew out my Hanger to defend my self. These
horrible Animals had the Boldness to attack me on both Sides
and one of them held his Fore-feet at my Collar; but I had the
good Fortune to rip up his Belly before he could do me any


z




-12-3


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Mischief. He fell down at my Feet, and the other seeing the
Fate of his Comrade, made his Escape, but not without one good
Wound on the Back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the
Blood run trickling from him. After this Exploit, I walked gently
to 'and fro on the Bed, to recover my Breath and Loss of Spirits.
These Creatures were of the Size of a large Mastiff, but infinitely
more nimble and fierce, so that if I had taken off my Belt before
I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces and
devoured. I measured the Tail of the dead Rat, and found it to
be two Yards long, wanting an Inch; but it went against my
Stomach to drag the Carcass off the Bed, where it lay still bleeding; I observed it had yet some Life, but with a strong Slash
cross the Neck I thoroughly dispatched it.
Soon after my Mistress came into the Room, who seeing me all
bloody, ran and took me up in her Hand. I pointed to the dead
Rat, smiling and making other signs to shew I was not hurt,
whereat she was extremely rejoiced, calling the Maid to take up
the dead Rat with a pair of Tongs, and throw it out of the
Window. Then she set me on a Table, where I shewed her my
Hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the Lappet of my Coat,
returned it to the Scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one
thing, which another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my Mistress understand that I desired to be set
down on the Floor; which after she had done, my Bashfulness
would not suffer me to express my self farther than by pointing to
the Door, and bowing several times. The good Woman with
much Difficulty at last perceived what I would be at, and taking
me up again in her Hand, walked into the Garden where she set
me down. I went on one side about two hundred Yards, and
beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid mIy sef
between two Leaves of Sorrel, and there discharged tNecesss
of Nature.
I hope the gentle Reader will excuse me for dwelling on these
and the like Particulars, which however insignificant they may
appear to grovelling vulgar Minds, yet will certainly help a Philosopher to enlarge his Thoughts and Imagination, and apply them




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.                 123
to the Benefit of publick as well as private Life, which was
my sole Design in presenting this and other Accounts of my
Travels to the World; wherein I have been chiefly studious of
Truth, without affecting any Ornaments of Learning or of Style.
But the whole Scene of this Voyage made so strong an Impression
on my Mind, and is so deeply fixed in my Memory, that in committing it to Paper I did not omit one material Circumstance.
However, upon a strict Review, I blotted out several Passages of
less Moment which were in my first Copy, for fear of being
censured as tedious and trifling, whereof Travellers are often,
perhaps not without Justice, accused.




124


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER II.
A Descrijtion of the Farmer's Daughter.  The Author carried to
a Market-Town, and then to the Mfetrotols. The Particulars
of his Journey.
M   Y Mistress had a Daughter of nine Years old, a Child of
toward Parts for her Age, very dextrous at her Needle,
and skilful in dressing her Baby. Her Mother and she contrived
to fit up the Baby's Cradle for me against Night: The Cradle was
put into a small Drawer of a Cabinet, and the Drawer placed
upon a Hanging-shelf, for fear of the Rats. This was my Bed
all the time I stay'd with those People, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their Language, and make
my Wants known. This young Girl was so handy, that after I
once or twice pulled off my Cloaths before her, she was able to
dress and undress me, though I never gave her that Trouble
when she would let me do either my self. She made me seven
Shirts, and some other Linen, of as fine Cloth as could be got,
which indeed was coarser than Sackcloth; and these she constantly washed for me with her own Hands. She was likewise
my School-Mistress to teach me the Language: When I pointed
to any thing, she told me the Name of it in her own Tongue, so
that in a few Days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind
to. She was very good-natur'd, and not above forty Foot high,
being little for her Age. She gave me the Name of Grildrig,
which the Family took up, and afterwards the whole Kingdom.
The Word imports what the Latins call Nanunculus, the Italians
Homunceletino, and the English Mannikin. To her I chiefly owe
my Preservation in that Country: We never parted while I was




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


125


there. I called her my Glumidalclitch, or little Nurse: And I
should be guilty of great Ingratitude if I omitted this honourable
Mention of her Care and Affection towards me, which I heartily
wish it lay in my Power to requite as she deserves, instead of
being the innocent but unhappy Instrument of her Disgrace, as
I have too much Reason to fear.
It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood,
that my Master had found a strange Animal in the Field about
the bigness of a Splacknuck, but exactly shaped in every part like
a human Creature; which it likewise imitated in all its Actions;
seemed to speak in a little Language of its own, had already
learned several Words of theirs, went erect upon two Legs, was
tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever it
was bid, had the finest Limbs in the World, and a Complexion
fairer than a Nobleman's Daughter of three Years old. Another
Farmer who lived hard by, and was a particular Friend of my
Master, came on a Visit on purpose to enquire into the Truth of
this Story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a
Table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my Hanger,
put it up again, made my Reverence to my Master's Guest, asked
him in his own Language how he did, and told him he was
welcome, just as my little Nurse had instructed me. This Man
who was old and dim sighted, put on his Spectacles to behold
me better, at which I could not forbear laughing very heartily,
for his Eyes appeared like the Full-Moon shining into a Chamber at two Windows. Our People, who discovered the cause of
my Mirth, bore me company in Laughing, at which the old
Fellow was Fool enough to be angry and out of Countenance.
He had the Character of a great Miser, and to my Misfortune he
well deserved it by the cursed Advice he gave my Master to shew
me as a Sight upon a Market-Day in the next Town, which was
half an, hour's riding, about two and twenty Miles from our
House. I guessed there was some Mischief contriving, when I
observed my Master and his Friend whispering long together,
sometimes pointing at me; and my Fears made me fancy that
I overheard and understood some of their Words. But, the




J26


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


next Morning Glumdtalclitchz my little Nurse told me the whole
Matter, which she had cunningly picked out from her Mother.
The poor Girl laid me on her Bosom, and fell a weeping with
Shame and Grief. She apprehended some Mischief would happen
to me from rude vulgar Folks, who might squeeze me to Death
or break one of my Limbs by taking me in their Hands. She
had also observed how modest I was in my Nature, how nicely
I regarded my Honour, and what an indignity I should conceive
it to be exposed for Money as a publick Spectacle to the meanest
of the People. She said, her Papa and Mamma had promised
that Gildrig should be hers, but now she found they meant to
serve her as they did last Year, when they pretended to give her
a Lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a Butcher. For
my own part, I may truly affirm that I was less concerned than
my Nurse. I had a strong Hope which never left me, that I
should one Day recover my Liberty; and as to the Ignominy of
being carried about for a Monster, I considered myself to be a
perfect Stranger in the Country, and that such a Misfortune
could never be charged upon me as a Reproach if ever I should
return to England; since the King of Great Britain himself, in
my Condition, must have undergone the same Distress.
My Master, pursuant to the Advice of his Friend, carried me
in a Box the next Market day to the neighbouring Town, and
took along with him his little Daughter, my Nurse upon a Pillion
behind him. The Box was close on every side, with a little Door
for me to go in and out, and a few Gimlet-holes to let in Air.
The Girl had been so careful to put the Quilt of her Baby's Bed
into it, for me to lye down on. However, I was terribly shaken
and discomposed in this Journey, though it were but of half an
Hour. For the Horse went about forty Foot at every Step,
and trotted so high, that the Agitation was equal to the rising and
falling of a Ship in a great Storm, but much more frequent: Our
Journey was somewhat further than from London to St. Alban's.
My Master alighted at an Inn which he used to frequent; and
after consulting a while with the Inn-keeper, and making some
necessary Preparations, he hired the Grultrud, or Cryer to give




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


127


lotice through the Town of a strange Creature to be seen at the
Sign of the Green Ea,,i not so big as a Splacnuck (an Animal in
that Country very finely shaped, about six Foot long) and in
every part of the Body resembling an human Creature, could
speak several words, and perform an hundred diverting Tricks.
I was placed upon a Table in the largest Room of the Inn,
which might be near three hundred Foot Square.  My little
Nurse stood on a low Stool close to the Table, to take care of
me, and direct what I should do. My Master, to avoid a croud,
would suffer only thirty People at a time to see me. I walked
about on the Table as the Girl commanded: she asked me
Questions as far as she knew my Understanding of the Language
reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about
several times to the Company, paid my humble Respects, said
they were welcome, and used some other Speeches I had been
taught. I took up a Thimble filled with Liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a Cup, and drank their Health. I drew
out my Hanger, and flourished with it after the manner of Fencers
in England. My Nurse gave me part of a Straw, which I exercised as a Pike, having learned the Art in my Youth. I was that
day shewn to twelve Sets of Company, and as often forced to go
over again with the same Fopperies, till I was half dead with
Weariness and Vexation. For, those who had seen me made
such wonderful Reports, that the People were ready to break
down the Doors to come in. My Master for his own Interest
would not suffer any one to touch me except my Nurse; and, to
prevent danger, Benches were set round the Table at such a distance as put me out of every body's reach. However, an unlucky
School-Boy aimed a hazel Nut directly at my Head, which very
narrowly missed me; otherwise, it came with so much violence
that it would have infallibly knocked out my Brains, for it was
almost as large as a small Pumpion: But I had the Satisfaction to
see the young Rogue well beaten, and turned out of the Room.
My Master gave publick notice, that he would shew me again
the next Market-day, and in the mean time he prepared a more
convenient Vehicle for me which he had reason enough to do;




I28


GULLIVER'S TRA VELt.


for I was so tired with my first Journey, and with entertaining
Company for eight Hours together, th  I could hardly stand
upon my Legs, or speak a Word. It was at least three Day:
before I recovered my Strength; and that I might have no rest at
home, all the neighbouring Gentlemen from an hundred Miles
round, hearing of my Fame, came to see me at my Master's bwn
House. There could not be fewer than thirty Persons with their
Wives and Children (for the Country was very populous;) and
my Master demanded the rate of a full Room whenever he showed
me at home, although it were only to a single Family: So that for
some time I had but -little ease every Day of the Week (except
Wednesday, which is their Sabbath) although I were not carried
to the Town.
My Master finding how profitable I was like to be, resolved to
carry me to the most considerable Cities of the Kingdom. Having
therefore provided himself with all things necessary for a long
Journey, and settled his affairs at Home, he took leave of his
Wife, and upon the I 7l of August 1703, about two Months after
my Arrival, we set out for the Metropolis, situated near the middle
of that Empire, and about three thousand Miles distance from our
House: My Master made his Daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind
him. She carried me on her Lap in a Box tyed about her waist.
The Girl had lined it on all sides with the softest Cloth she could
get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with her Baby's Bed,
provided me with Linen and other Necessaries, and made every
thing as convenient as she could. We had no other Company
but a Boy of the House, who rode after us with the Luggage.
My Master's Design was to shew me in all the Towns by the
way, and to step out of the Road for fifty or an hundred Miles,
to any Village or Person of Quality's House where he might
expect Custom. We made easy Journies of not above seven or
eightscore Miles a Day: For Glumdalclilch, on purpose to spare
me, complained she was tired with the trotting of the Horse. She
often took me out of my Box at my own Desire, to give me Air,
and shew me the Country, but always held me fast by a Leadingstring. We passed over five or six Rivers many degrees broader




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


129


and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges; and there was hardly
a Rivulet so small as the Thames at London-Bridge. We were
ten Weeks in our Journey, and I was shewn in eighteen large
Towns besides many Villages and private Families.
On the 26th Day of October, we arrived at the Metropolis,
called in their Language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe.
My Master took a Lodging in the principal Street of the City,
not far from the Royal Palace, and put out Bills in the usual
Form, containing an exact Description of my Person and Parts.
He hired a large Room between three and four hundred Foot
wide. He provided a Table sixty Foot in diameter, upon which
I was to act my Part, and palisadoed it round three Foot from
the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was
shewn ten times a Day to the Wonder and Satisfaction of all
People. I could now speak the Language tolerably well, and
perfectly understood every Word that was spoken to me. Besides,
I had learned their Alphabet, and could make a shift to explain
a Sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitchi had been my
Instructor while we were at home, and at leisure Hours during
our Journey. She carried a little Book in her Pocket, not much
larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a common Treatise for the
use of young Girls, giving a short Account of their Religion; out
of this she taught me my Letters, and interpreted the Words.


I




130


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER III.
The Author sentfor to Courl.  The Queen buys him of his Al ster
the IFarmer, and presents himl to the Kilg. He disputes with
his Majesty's great Scholars. An Apartment at Court provided for the Author.  ite is in high Favour with the Queen.
He stands uip for the Honour of his own Country. Isis
Quarrels wilh the Queen's Dwaucf
THE frequent Labours I underwent every Day made in a few
Weeks a very considerable change in my Health: The
more my Master got by me, the more unsatiable he grew. I had
quite lost my Stomach, and was almost reduced to a Skeleton.
The Farmer observed it, and concluding I soon must dye, resolved
to make as good a Hand of me as he could. While he was thus
reasoning and resolving with himself, a Slardral, or Gentleman
Usher came from Court, commanding my Master to carry me
immediately thither for the Diversion of the Queen and her
Ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and
reported strange Things of my Beauty, Behaviour, and good
Sense. Her Majesty and those who attended her were beyond
Measure delighted with my Demeanor. I fell on my Knees, and
begged the Honour of kissing her Imperial Foot; but this
Gracious Princess held out her little Finger towards me (after I
was set on a Table) which I embraced in both my Arms, and put
the tip of it, with the utmost respect, to my Lip. She made me
some general Questions about my Country and my Travels, which
I answer'd as distinctly and in as few Words as I could. She
asked whether I would be content to live at Court. I bowed
down to the board of the Table, and humbly answered that I was




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I3l


my Master's Slave, but if I were at my own Disposal, I should be
proud to devote my Life to her Majesty's Service. She then
asked my Master whether he were willing to sell me at a good
Price. He who apprehended I could not live a Month, was
ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces
of Gold, which were ordered him on the sp6t, each piece being
about the bigness of eight hundred Moydores; but, allowing for
the proportion of all Things between that Country and Europe,
and the high price of Gold among them, was hardly so great a
sum as a thousand Guineas would be in England. I then said
to the Queen, since I was now her Majesty's most humble
Creature and Vassal, I must beg the favour, that Gltmdalclitci,
who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and
understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her Service,
and continue to be my Nurse and Instructor. Her Majesty
agreed to my Petition, and easily got the Farmer's consent, who
was glad enough to have his Daughter preferred at Court: and
the poor Girl herself was not able to hide her Joy: My late
Master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me
in a good Service; to which I replied not a Word, only making
him a slight bow.
The Queen observed my coldness, and when the Farmer was
gone out of the Apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold
to tell her Majesty that I owed no other Obligation to my late
Master, than his not dashing out the Brains of a poor harmless
Creature found by chance in his Field; which Obligation was
amply recompenced by the gain he had made in shewing me
through half the Kingdom, and the price he had now sold me
for. That the Life I had since led, was laborious enough to kill
an Animal of ten times my Strength. That my Health was much
impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the Rabble
every hour of the Day, and that if my Master had not thought
my Life in danger, her Majesty would not have got so cheap a
Bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being ill treated under
the Protection of so great and good an Empress, the Ornament
of Nature, the Darling of the World, the Delight of her Subjects,




132


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


the Phoenix of the Creation; so, I hoped my late Master's
apprehensions would appear to be groundless, for I already
found my Spirits to revive by the Influence of her most August
Presence.
This was the sum of my Speech, delivered with great Improprieties and Hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in
the Style peculiar to that People, whereof I learned some Phrases
from GhumdalcZitch, while she was carrying me to Court.
The Queen giving great Allowance for my Defectiveness in
speaking, was however surprised at so much Wit and good Sense
in so diminutive an Animal. She took me in her own Hands,
and carried me to the King, who was then retired to his Cabinet.
His Majesty, a Prince of much Gravity, and austere Countenance,
not well observing my Shape at first View, asked the Queen after
a cold manner, how long it was since she grew fond of a Splacnuck; for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my
Breast in her Majesty's right Hand. But this Princess, who
hath an infinite deal of Wit and Humour, set me gently on my
Feet upon the Scrutore, and commanded me to give His Majesty
an Account of myself, which I did in a very few Words; and
Glumdalclitch, who attended at the Cabinet door, and could not
endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed
all that had passed from my Arrival at her Father's House.
The King, although he be as learned a Person as any in his
Dominions, had been educated in the Study of Philosophy, and
particularly Mathematicks; yet when he observed my Shape
exactly, and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a Piece of Clock-work, (which is in that Country
arrived to a very great Perfection) contrived by some ingenious
Artist. But when he heard my Voice, and found what I delivered
to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his Astonishment.
He was by no means satisfied with the Relation I gave him of
the Manner I came into his Kingdom, but thought it a Story
concerted between Glumdalcditch and her Father, who had taught
me a Set of Words to make me sell at a higher Price. Upon this
Imagination he put several other Questions to me, and still




A VO YAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I33


received rational Answers, no otherwise defective than by a foreign
Accent, and an imperfect Knowledge in the Language, with some
rustick Phrases which I had learned at the Farmer's House, and
did not suit the polite Stile of a Court.
His Majesty sent for three great Scholars who were then in
their weekly waiting (according to the Custom in that Country).
These Gentlemen, after they had a while examined my Shape
with much Nicety, were of different Opinions concerning me.
They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the
regular Laws of Nature, because I was not framed with a Capacity
of preserving my Life, either by Swiftness, or climbing of Trees,
or digging Holes in the Earth. They observed by my Teeth,
which they viewed with great Exactness, that I was a carnivorous
Animal; yet most Quadrupeds being an Overmatch for me, and
Field-Mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine
how I should be able to support my self, unless I fed upon
Snails and other Insects, which they offered, by many learned
Arguments, to evince that I could not possibly do. One of these
Virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an Embrio, or abortive
Birth. But this Opinion was rejected by the other two, who
observed my Limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had
lived several Years, as it was manifest from my Beard, the Stumps
whereof they plainly discovered through a Magnifying-Glass.
They would not allow me to be a Dwarf, because my Littleness
was beyond all Degrees of Comparison; for the Queen's favourite
Dwarf, the smallest ever known in that Kingdom, was near thirty
Foot high. After much Debate, they concluded unanimously
that I was only Relplum Scalcath, which is interpreted literally,
Lulsus Niture; a Determination exactly agreeable to the modern
Philosophy of Europe, whose Professors, disdaining the old
Evasion of occull Causes, whereby the followers of Arislotle endeavour in vain to disguise their Ignorance, have invented this
wonderful Solution of all Difficulties, to the unspeakable Advancement of human Knowledge.
After this decisive Conclusion, I entreated to be heard a Word
or two. I applied my self to the King, and assured His Majesty




I34


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


that I came from a Country which abounded with several Millions
of both Sexes, and of my own Stature; where the Animals, Trees
and Houses were all in Proportion, and where by consequence I
might be as able to defend my self, and to find Sustenance, as
any of his Majesty's Subjects could do here; which I took for a
full Answer to those Gentlemens Arguments. To this they only
replied with a Smile of Contempt, saying, That the Farmer had
instructed me very well in my Lesson. The King, who had a
much better Understanding, dismissing his learned Men, sent for
the Farmer, who by good Fortune was not yet gone out of Town:
Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted
him with me and the young Girl, his Majesty began to think that
what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the Queen
to order that a particular Care should be taken of me, and was of
Opinion, that Glznmlralclitch should still continue in her Office of
tending me, because he observed we had a great Affection for
each other. A convenient Apartment was provided for her at
Court; she had a sort of Governess appointed to take Care of
her Education, a MIfaid to dress her, and two other Servants for
menial Offices; but the Care of me was wholly appropriated to
her self. The Queen commanded her own Cabinet-maker to
contrive a Box that might serve me for a Bed-chamber, after the
Model that Gl/umda/clitc/ and I should agree upon. This Man
was a most ingenious Artist, and according to my Directions, in
three Weeks finished for me a wooden Chamber of sixteen Foot
square, and twelve high, with Sash-windows, a Door, and two
Closets, like a London Bed-chamber. The Board that made the
Cieling, was to be lifted up and down by two Hinges, to put in a
Bed ready furnished by her Majesty's Upholsterer, which Glumdaldcitch took out every Day to air, made it with her own Hands,
and letting it down at Night locked up the Roof over me. A
nice Workman, who was famous for little Curiosities undertook to
m-ake me two Chairs, with Backs and Frames, of a Substance not
unlike Ivory, and two Tables, with a Cabinet to put my Things
in. The Room was quilted on all Sides, as well as the Floor and
the Cieling, to prevent any Accident from the Carelessness of




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I35


those who carried me, and to break the Force of a Jolt when I
went in a Coach. I desired a Lock for my Door, to prevent
Rats and Mice from coming in: The Smith, after several Attempts,
made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I have
known a larger at the Gate of a Gentleman's House in England.
I made a shift to keep the Key in a Pocket of my own, fearing
Glumdalclitch might lose it. The Queen likewise ordered the
thinnest Silks that could be gotten, to make me Cloaths, not
much thicker than an  ngldish Blanket, very cumbersome till I
was accustomed to them. They were after the Fashion of the
Kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese,
and are a very grave and decent Habit.
The Queen became so fond of my Company, that she could
not dine without me. I had a Table placed upon the same at
which her Majesty eat, just at her left Elbow, and a Chair to sit
on. GlimZdalclitch stood up on a Stool on the Floor, near my
Table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire Set of
silver Dishes and Plates, and other Necessaries, which in Proportion to those of the Queen, were not much bigger than what I
have seen of the same kind in a London Toy-shop, for the Furniture of a Baby-house: These my little Nurse kept in her Pocket,
in a silver Box, and gave me at Meals as I wanted them, always
cleaning them her self. No Person dined with the Queen but
the two Princesses Royal, the elder sixteen Years old, and the
younger at that time thirteen and a Month. Her Majesty used
to put a Bit of Meat upon one of my Dishes, out of which I
carved for my self; and her Diversion was to see me eat in
Miniature. For the Queen (who had indeed but a weak Stomach)
took up at one Mouthful, as much as a dozen English Farmers
could eat at a Meal, which to me was for some time a very
nauseous sight. She would craunch the Wing of a Lark, Bones
and all, between her Teeth, although it were nine times as large
as that of a full grown Turkey; and put a Bit of Bread in her
mouth, as big as two twelve-penny Loaves. She drank, out of a
golden Cup, above a Hogshead at a Draught. Her Knives were
twice as long as a Scythe, set strait upon the Handle.  The




i36


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Spoons, Forks, and other Instruments were all in the same Proportion.  I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me out of
curiosity to see some of the Tables at Court, where ten or a
dozen of these enormous Knives and Forks were lifted up together,
I thought I had never, till then, beheld so terrible a Sight.
It is the Custom that every Wednesday, (which, as I have
before observed, was their Sabbath) the King and Queen, with
the Royal Issue of both Sexes, dine together in the Apartment
of his Majesty, to whom I was now become a great Favourite;
and at these times my little Chair and Table were placed at his
left Hand, before one of the Saltsellers.  This Prince took a
Pleasure in conversing with me, enquiring into the Manners,
Religion, Laws, Government, and Learning of Europe; wherein
I gave him the best Account I was able. His Apprehension was
so clear, and his Judgment so exact, that he made very wise
Reflexions and Observations upon all I said.  But, I confess,
that after I had been a'little too copious in talking of my own
beloved Country, of our Trade, and Wars by Sea and Land, of
our Schisms in Religion, and Parties in the State; the Prejudices
of his Education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking
me up in his Right Hand, and stroaking me gently with the
other, after an hearty Fit of laughing, asked me whether I-were a
Whig or a Tory. Then turning to his first Minister, who waited
behind him with a white Staff near as tall as the main-mast of the
Royal Soveraign, he observed how contemptible a thing was
human Grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive
Insects as I: And yet, said he, I dare engage, these Creatures
have their Titles and Distinctions of'Honour, they contrive little
Nests and Burrows, that they call Houses and Cities; they make
a Figure in Dress and Equipage; they love, they fight, theyjdispute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while
Imy Colour came and went several times, with Indignation to
hear our noble Country, the Mistress of Arts and Arms, the
Scourge of'rawce, the Arbitress of Europe, the Seat of Virtue,
Piety, Honour and Truth, the Pride and Envy of the World, so
contemptuously treated.




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


137


But, as I was not in a Condition to resent Injuries, so, upon
mature Thoughts, I began to doubt whether I was injured or no.
For, after having been accustomed several Months to the Sight
and Converse of this People, and observed every Object upon
which I cast mine Eyes, to be of proportionable Magnitude, the
Horror I had first conceived from their Bulk and Aspect was so
far worn off, that if I had then beheld a Company of English
Lords and Ladies in their Finery and Birth-day Cloaths, acting
their several Parts in the most courtly manner, of strutting, and
bowing, and prating; to say the Truth, I should have been
strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the King and his
Grandees did at me. Neither indeed could I forbear smiling at
my self, when the Queen used to place me upon her Hand
towards a Looking-glass, by which both our Persons appeared
before me in full View together; and there could nothing be
more ridiculous than the Comparison: So that I really began to
imagine myself dwindled many Degrees below my usual Size.
Nothing angred and mortified me so much as the Queen's
Dwarf, who being of the lowest Stature that was ever in that
Country (for I verily think he was not full thirty Foot high)
became insolent at seeing a Creature so much beneath him, that
he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed by
me in the Queen's Antichamber, while I was standing on some
Table talking with the Lords or Ladies of the Court, and he seldom
failed of a small Word or two upon my Littleness; against which
I could only revenge my self by calling him Brother, challenging
him to wrestle, and such Repartees as are usual in the Mouths of
Court Pages. One Day at Dinner this malicious little Cubb was
so nettled with something I had said to him, that raising himself
upon the Frame of her Majesty's Chair, he took me up by the
Middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let
me drop into a large silver Bowl of Cream, and then ran away
as fast as he could. I fell over Head and Ears, and if I had not
been a good Swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me;
for Glumdalclitch in that Instant happened to be at the other
End of the Room, and the Queen was in such a Fright that she




138


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


wanted Presence of Mind to assist me. But my little Nurse ran
to my Relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a
Quart of Cream. I was put to Bed; however I received no
other Damage than the Loss of a Suit of Cloaths, which was
utterly spoiled. The Dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a
farther Punishment, forced to drink up the Bowl of Cream, into
which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to
Favour: For, soon after the Queen bestowed him to a Lady
of high Quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great
Satisfaction; for I could not tell to what Extremity such a
malicious Urchin might have carried his Resentment.
He had before served me a scurvy Trick, which set the Queen
a laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed,
and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been
so generous as to intercede. Her Majesty had taken a Marrowbone upon her Plate, and after knocking out the Marrow, placed
the Bone again in the Dish erect as it stood before, the Dwarf,
watching his Opportunity, while GlundalcZlich/ was gone to the
Side-board, mounted upon the Stool she stood on to take care
of me at Meals, took me up in both Hands, and squeezing my
Legs together, wedged them into the Marrow-bone above my
Wast, where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous
Figure. I believe it was near a Minute before any one knew
what was become of me, for I thought it below me to cry out.
But as Princes seldom get their Meat hot, my Legs were not
scalded, only my Stockings and Breeches in a sad Condition.
The Dwarf, at my Entreaty, had no other Punishment than a
sound whipping.
I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my
Fearfulness, and she used to ask me whether the People of my
Country were as great Cowards as my self? The Occasion was
this: The Kingdom is much pestered with Flies in Summer;
and these odious Insects, each of them as big as a DZunstable
Lark, hardly gave me any Rest while I sat at Dinner, with their
continual humming and buzzing about mine Ears. They would
sometimes alight upon my Victuals, and leave their loathsome




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


139


Excrement or Spawn behind, which to me was very visible,
though not to the Natives of that Country, whose large Opticks
were not so acute as mine in viewing smaller Objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my Nose or Forehead, where they
stung me to the Quick, smelling very offensively, and I could
easily trace that viscous Matter, which our Naturalists tell us
enables those Creatures to walk with their Feet upwards upon a
Cieling. I had much ado to defend my self against these detestable'Animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on
my Face. It was the common Practice of the Dwarf to catch a
number of these Insects in his Hand, as School-boys do among
us, and let them out suddenly under my Nose on purpose to
frighten me, and divert the Queen. My Remedy was to cut
them in Pieces with my Knife as they flew in the Air, wherein
my Dexterity was much admired.
I remember one Morning when Ghlmmdalcitch had set me in
my Box upon a Window, as she usually did in fair Days to give
me Air (for I durst not venture to let the Box be hung on a Nail
out of the Window, as we do with Cages in ESngland) after I had
lifted up one of my Sashes, and sat down at my Table to eat a
piece of Sweet Cake for my Breakfast, above twenty Wasps,
allured by the smell, came flying into the Room, humming louder
than the Drones of as many Bagpipes. Some of them seized my
Cake, and carried it piece-meal away, others flew about my Head
and Face, confounding me with the Noise, and putting me in
the utmost terror of their Stings. However I had the Courage
to rise and draw my Hanger, and attack them in the Air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got away, and I presently shut
my Window. These Creatures were as large as Partridges, I
took out their Stings, found them an Inch and a half long, and
as sharp as Needles. I carefully preserved them all, and having
since shewn them with other Curiosities in several parts of Europe;
upon my Return to E~ngland I gave three of them to Greshamt
College, and kept the fourth for my self.




140


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER IV.
The Country described. A Proposalfor Correcting modern Mayis.
The King's Palace, and some Account of the Metropolis.  The
Author's way of Travelling.  The chief Temple described.
I NOW intend to give the Reader a short Description of this
Country, as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two
thousand Miles round Lorbrulgrud the Metropolis.  For, the
Queen, whom I always attended, never went further when she
accompanied the King in his Progresses, and there staid till his
Majesty returned from viewing.his Frontiers. The whole Extent
of this Prince's Dominions reacheth about six thousand Miles in
Length, and from three to five in Breadth.  From whence I
cannot but conclude that our Geographers of Europe are in a
great Error, by supposing nothing but Sea between Japan and
California; for it was ever my Opinion, that there must be a
Balance of Earth to counterpoise the great Continent of Tartary,
and therefore they ought to correct their Maps and Charts by
joining this vast Tract of Land to the North-west Parts of America,
wherein I shall be ready to lend them my Assistance.
The Kingdom is a Peninsula, terminated to the North-east by
a Ridge of Mountains thirty Miles high, which are altogether
impassable by reason of the Volcanoes upon the Top. Neither
do the most Learned know what sort of Mortals inhabit beyond
those Mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the
three other Sides it is bounded by the Ocean. There is not one
Seaport in the whole Kingdom, and those Parts of the Coasts into
which the Rivers issue are so full of pointed Rocks, and the Sea
generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest of




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I4l


their Boats, so that these People are wholly excluded from any Commerce with the rest of the World. But the large Rivers are full of
Vessels, and abound with excellent Fish, for they seldom get any
from the Sea, because the Sea-fish are of the same Size with those
of Europe, and consequently not worth catching: whereby it is
manifest, that Nature in the Production of Plants and Animals
of so extraordinary a Bulk is wholly confined to this Continent,
of which I leave the Reasons to be determined by Philosophers.
However, now and then they take a Whale that happens to be
dashed against the Rocks, which the common People feed on
heartily. These Whales I have known so large that a Man could
hardly carry one upon his Shoulders; and sometimes for Curiosity
they are brought in Hampers to Lorbrulgrud.  I saw one of them
in a Dish at the King's Table, which passed for a Rarity, but I did
not observe he was fond of it; for I think indeed the Bigness
disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in
Greenland.
The Country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty one Cities,
near an hundred walled Towns, and a great number of Villages.
To satisfy my curious Reader, it may be sufficient to describe
Lorbrulg-rd. This City stands upon almost two equal Parts on
each side the River that passes through. It contains above eighty
thousand Houses, and about six hundred thousand Inhabitants.
It is in Length three Glonl2ungs (which make about fifty four English Miles) and two and a half in breadth, as I measured it my
self in the Royal Map made by the King's Order, which was laid
on the Ground on purpose for me, and extended an hundred
Feet; I paced the Diameter and Circumference several times
barefoot, and computing by the Scale, measured it pretty exactly.
The King's Palace is no regular Edifice, but an heap of buildings about seven Miles round: The chief Rooms are generally
two hundred and forty Foot high, and broad and long in Proportion. A Coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein
her Governess frequently took her out to see the Town, or go
among the Shops; and I was, always of the party, carried in my
Box; although the Girl at my own Desire would often take me




142


G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


out, and hold me in her Hand, that I might more conveniently
view the Houses and the People, as we passed along the Streets.
I reckoned our Coach to be about a Square of Westminster-hall,
but not altogether so high; however. I cannot be very exact.
One Day the Governess ordered our Coachman to stop at several
Shops, where the Beggars watching their Opportunity, crouded to
the sides of the Coach, and gave me the most horrible Spectacles
that ever an English Eye beheld. There was a Woman with
a Cancer in her Breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes,
in two or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered
my whole Body. There was a Fellow with a Wen in his Neck,
larger than five Woolpacks, and another with a couple of wooden
Legs, each about twenty Foot high. 'But, the most hateful Sight
of all was the Lice crawling on their cloaths. I could see distinctly the Limbs of these Vermin w:h my naked Eye, much
better than those of an European Locse through a Microscope,
and their Snouts with which they rooted like Swine. They were
the first I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough
to dessect one of them, if I had proper Instruments (which I
unluckily left behind me in the Ship) although indeed the Sight
was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my Stomach.
Beside the large Box in which I was usually carried, the Queen
ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve Foot
square, and ten high, for the Convenience of Travelling, because
the other was somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch's Lap, and
cumbersom in the Coach; it was made by the same Artist, whom
I directed in the whole Contrivance. This travelling Closet was
an exact Square with a Window in the middle of three of the
Squares, and each Window was latticed with Iron Wire on the
outside, to prevent Accidents in long Journeys. On the fourth
side, which had no Window, two strong Staples were fixed, through
which the Person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on
Horseback, put in a Leathern Belt, and buckled it about his Waste.
This was always the Office of some grave trusty Servant in whom
I could confide, whether I attended the King and Queen in their
Progresses, or were disposed to see the Gardens, or pay a visit to




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


143


some great Lady or Minister of State in the Court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of Order: For I soon began to be
known and esteemed among the greatest Officers, I suppose more
upon Account of their Majesty's Favour than any Merit of my
own. In Journeys, when I was weary of the Coach, a Servant
on Horseback would buckle my Box, and place it on a Cushion
before him; and there I had a full Prospect 6f the Country on
three Sides from my three Windows. I had in this Closet a Field
Bed and a Hammock hung from the Cieling, two Chairs, and
a Table, neatly screwed to the floor, to prevent being tossed about
by the Agitation of the Horse or the Coach. And having been
long used to Sea Voyages, those Motions, although sometimes
very violent, did not much discompose me.
Whenever I had a mind to see the Town, it was always in my
Travelling-Closet, which Gluhdalltitchi held in her Lap in a kind
of open Sedan, after the Fashion of the Country, born by four
Men, and attended by two others in the Queen's Livery. The
People who had often heard of me, were very curious to croud
about the Sedan, and the Girl was complaisant enough to make
the Bearers stop, and to take me in her Hand that I might be
more conveniently seen.
I was very desirous to see the chief Temple, and particularly
the Tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the
Kingdom. Accordingly one Day my Nurse carried me thither,
but I may truly say I came back disappointed; for, the height is
not above three thousand Foot, and reckoning from the Ground
to the highest Pinnacle top; which allowing for the difference
between the size of those people, and us in Europse, is no great
matter for Admiration, nor at all equal in Proportion, (if I rightly
remember) to Salisbury Steeple.  But, not to detract from a
Nation to which during my Life I shall acknowledge my self
extremely obliged, it must be allowed that whatever this famous
Tower wants in Height is amply made up in Beauty and Strength.
For the Walls are near an hundred Foot thick, built of hewn
Stone, whereof each is about forty Foot square, and adorned on
all sides with Statues of Gods and Emperors cut in Marble larger




144


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


than the Life, placed in their several Niches. I measured a little
Finger which had fallen down from one of these Statues, and lay
unperceived among some Rubbish, and found it exactly four Foot
and an Inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in an Handkerchief, and carried it home in her Pocket to keep among other
Trinkets, of which the Girl was very fond, as Children at her Age
usually are.
The King's Kitchen is indeed a noble Building, vaulted at top,
and about six hundred Foot high. The great Oven is not so
wide by ten Paces as the Cupola at St. Paul's.: For I measured
the latter on purpose after my Return. But if I should describe
the Kitchen-grate, the prodigious Pots and Kettles, the joints of
Meat turning on the Spits, with many other Particulars, perhaps
I should be hardly believed; at least a severe Critick would be
apt to think I enlarged a little, as Travellers are often suspected
to do. To avoid which censure, I fear I have run too much into
the other extream; and that if this Treatise should happen to be
translated into the Language of Brobdingnag, (which is the general
name of that Kingdom) and transmitted thither, the King and his
People would have reason to complain that I had done them an
Injury by a false and diminutive Representation.
His Majesty seldom keeps above six hundred Horses in his
Stables: They are generally frqm fifty four to sixty Foot high.
But when he goes abroad on solemn Days, he is attended for
State by a Militia Guard of five hundred horse, which indeed I
thought was the most splendid Sight that could be ever beheld,
till I saw part of his Army in Battalia, whereof I shall find another
occasion to speak.




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


s45


CHAPTER V.
Several Adventures that happened to the Author.  The Execution
of a Criminal. The Author shews his Skill in Navigaiion.
I SHOULD have lived happy enough in that Country, if my
Littleness had not exposed me to several ridiculous and
troublesome Accidents:some of which I shall venture to relate.
Glumdalclitch often carried me into the Gardens of the. Court in
my smaller Box, and would sometimes take me out of it and hold
me in her Hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before
the -Dwarf left the Queen, he followed us one Day into those
Gardens, and my Nurse having set me down, he and I being
close together, near some Dwarf Apple trees, I must need shew
my Wit by a silly Allusion between him and the Trees, which
happens to hold in their Language as it doth in ours. Whereupon, the malicious Rogue watching his Opportunity, when I
was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my Head,
by which a dozen Apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol
Barrel, came tumbling about my Ears; one of them hit me on
the Back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on
my Face, but I received no other hurt, and the Dwarf was pardoned at my Desire, because I had given the Provocation.
Another day Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth Grass-plot to
divert my self while she walked at some distance with her Governess. In the mean time there suddenly fell such a violent shower
of Hail, that I was immediately by the force of it struck to the
Ground: And when I was down, the Hail-stones gave me such
cruel Bangs all over the Body, as if I had been pelted with Tennis
balls; however I made a shift to creep on all four, and shelter
K




146             G ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.
myself by lying flat on my Face on the Lee-side of a Border of
Lemon Thyme, but so bruised from Head to Foot that I could
not go abroad in ten Days. Neither is this at all to be wondered
at, because Nature in that Country observing the same Proportion
thro' all her Operations, a Hail-stone is near eighteen hundred
times as large as one in Europe, which I can assert upon Experience, having been so curious to weigh and measure them.
But, a more dangerous Accident happened to me in the same
Garden, when my little Nurse believing she had put me in a
secure Place, which I often entreated her to do, that I might
enjoy my own Thoughts, and having left my Box at home to
avoid the Trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the
Gardens with her Governess and some Ladies ot her acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white
Spaniel belonging to one of the chief Gardeners, having got by
Accident into the Garden, happened to range near the Place
where I lay: The Dog following the Scent, came directly up, and
taking me in his Mouth, ran strait to his Master, wagging his
Tail, and set me gently on the Ground. By good Fortune he
had been so well taught, that I was carried between his Teeth
without the least Hurt, or even tearing my Clothes.  But the
poor Gardener, who knew me well, and had a great Kindness for
me, was in a terrible Fright: He gently took me up in both his
Hands, and asked me how I did; but I was so amazed, and out
of Breath, that I could not speak a Word. In a few Minutes I
came to my self, and he carried me safe to my little Nurse, who
by this Time had returned to the Place where she left me, and
was in cruel Agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she
called: She severely reprimanded the Gardiner on Account of
his Dog. But the Thing was hushed up, and never known at
Court; for the Girl was afraid of the Queen's Anger, and truly as
to my self, I thought it would not be for my Reputation that such
a Story should go about.
This Accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to
trust me abroad for the future out of her Sight. I had been
long afraid of this Resolution, and therefore concealed from her




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


147


some little unlucky Adventures that happened in those Times
when I was left by my self. Once a Kite hovering over the
Garden made a Stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn
my Hanger, and run under a thick Espalier, he would have
certainly carried me away in his Talons. Another Time walking
to the Top of a fresh Mole-hill, I fell to my Neck in the Hole,
through which that Animal had cast up the Earth, and coined
some Lie, not worth remembring, to excuse my self for spoiling
my Clothes. I likewise broke my right Shin against the Shell of
a Snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I was walking
alone, and thinking on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified, to
observe in those solitary Walks, that the smaller Birds did not
appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a
Yard distance, looking for worms, and other Food, with as much
Indifference and Security, as if no Creature at all were near
them. I remember, a Thrush had the Confidence to snatch out
of my Hand, with his Bill, a Piece of Cake that GlumdalcZitch
had just given me for my Breakfast. When I attempted to catch
any of these Birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to pick my Fingers, which I durst not venture within their
Reach; and then they would turn back unconcerned, to hunt for
Worms or Snails, as they did before. But one Day I took a
thick Cudgel, and threw it with all my Strength so luckily at a
Linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the Neck
with both my Hands, ran with him in Triumph to my Nurse.
However, the Bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so many Boxes with his Wings on both Sides of
my Head and Body, though I held him at Arms length, and was
out of the Reach of his Claws, that I was twenty Times thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our Servants, who wrung off the Bird's Neck, and I had him next Day
for Dinner, by the Queen's Command. This Linnet, as near as
I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English
Swan.
The Maids of Honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their




148


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on
purpose to have the Pleasure of seeing and touching me. They
would often strip me naked from Top to Toe, and lay me at full
length in their Bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted; because, to say the Truth, a very offensive Smell came from their
Skins; which I do not mention or intend to the Disadvantage of
those excellent Ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect;
but, I conceive that my Sense was more acute in Proportion to
my Littleness, and that those illustrious Persons were no more
disagreeable to their Lovers, or to each other, than People of the
same Quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found
their natural Smell was much more supportable than when they
used Perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I
cannot forget that an intimate Friend of mine in Lilliput took the
Freedom in a warm Day, when I had used a good deal of Exercise,
to complain of a strong Smell about me, although I am as little
faulty that way as most of my Sex: But I suppose his Faculty of
Smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of
this People. Upon this Point, I cannot forbear doing Justice to
the Queen my Mistress, and Glumdalclitch my Nurse, whose
Persons were as sweet as those of any Lady in England.
That which gave me most Uneasiness among these Maids of
Honour, when my Nurse carried me to visit them, was to see
them use me without any manner of Ceremony, like a Creature
who had no sort of Consequence. For, they would strip themselves to the Skin, and put on their Smocks in my Presence,
while I was placed on their Toylet directly before their naked
Bodies, which, I am sure, to me was very far from being a tempting Sight, or from giving me any other Emotions than those of
Horror and Disgust. Their Skins appeared so coarse and uneven,
so variously coloured, when I saw them near, with a Mole here
and there as broad as a Trencher, and Hairs hanging from it
thicker than Pack-threads, to say nothing further concerning the
rest of their Persons. Neither did they at all scruple while I
was by to discharge what they had drunk, to the Quantity of at
least two Hogsheads, in a Vessel that held above three Tuns.




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I49


The handsomest among these Maids of Honour, a pleasant
frolicksome Girl of Sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon
one of her Nipples, with many other Tricks, wherein the Reader
will excuse me for not being over particular.  But I was so much
displeased, that I intreated GIltudalclitch to contrive some Excuse
for not seeing that young Lady any more.
One Day, a young Gentleman, who was Nephew to my Nurse's
Governess, came and pressed them both to see an Execution.
It was of a Man who had murdered one of that Gentleman's
intimate Acquaintance.  Glumdalcitchl was prevailed on to be
of the Company, very much against her Inclination, for she was
naturally tender-hearted: And, as for my self, although I abhorred
such kind of Spectacles, yet my Curiosity tempted me to see
something that I thought must be extraordinary. The Malefactor was fixed in a Chair upon a Scaffold erected for the Purpose, and his Head cut off at a Blow with a Sword of about forty
Foot long. The Veins and Arteries spouted up such a prodigious Quantity of Blood, and so high in the Air, that the great
Jett d'eau at Versailles was not equal, for the Time it lasted; and
the Head, when it fell on the Scaffold-Floor, gave such a Bounce,
as made me start, although I were at least half an English Mile
distant.
The Queen, who often used to hear me talk of my Sea-Voyages,
and took all Occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked
me whether I understood how to handle a Sail, or an Oar, and
whether a little Exercise of Rowing might not be convenient for
my Health. I answered, that I understood both very well: For
although my proper Employment had been to be Surgeon or
Doctor to the Ship, yet often, upon a Pinch, I was forced to work
like a common Mariner. But I could not see how this could be
done in their Country, where the smallest Wherry was equal to a
First-rate Man of War among us, and such a Boat as I could
manage would never live in any of their Rivers. Her Majesty
said, if I would contrive a Boat, her own Joiner should make it,
and she would provide a Place for me to sail in. The Fellow
was an ingenious Workman, and, by my Instructions, in ten Days




I50


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


finished a Pleasure-Boat, with all its Tackling, able conveniently
to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the Queen was
so delighted, that she ran with it in her Lap to the King, who
ordered it to be put in a Cistern full of Water, with me in it, by
Way of Tryal; where I could not manage my two Sculls, or little
Oars, for want of Room. But the Queen had before contrived
another Project. She ordered the Joiner to make a wooden
Trough of three hundred Foot long, fifty broad, and eight deep;
which being well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed on the
Floor along the Wall, in an outer Room of the Palace. It had a
Cock near the Bottom to let out the Water when it began to grow
stale, and two Servants could easily fill it in half an Hour. Here
I often used to row for my own Diversion, as well as that of the
Queen and her Ladies, who thought themselves well entertained
with my Skill and Agility. Sometimes I would put up my Sail,
and then my Business was only to steer, while the Ladies gave
me a Gale with their Fans; and when they were weary, some of
the Pages would blow my Sail forward with their Breath, while I
shewed my Art by steering Starboard or Larboard, as I pleased.
When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my Boat
into her Closet, and hung it on a Nail to dry.
In this Exercise I once met an Accident which had like to
have cost me my Life: For, one of the Pages having put my
Boat into the Trough, the Governess, who attended Glumdalclitch,
very officiously lifted me up to place me in the Boat, but I
happened to slip through her Fingers, and should have infallibly
fallen down forty Foot upon the Floor, if by the luckiest Chance
in the World, I had not been stopp'd by a Corking-pin that stuck
in the good Gentlewoman's Stomacher; the Head of the Pin
passed between my Shirt and the Waistband of my Breeches, and
thus I was held by the Middle in the Air till Glumdalclitch ran to
my Relief.
Another Time, one of the Servants, whose Office it was to fill
my Trough every third Day with fresh Water, was so careless to
let a huge Frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his Pail. The Frog
lay concealed till I was put into my Boat, but then seeing a resting




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I5r


Place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one Side, that I
was forced to balance it with all my Weight on the other, to
prevent overturning. When the Frog was got in, it hopped at
once half the Length of the Boat, and then over my Head, backwards and forwards, dawbing my Face and Clothes with its odious
Slime. The Largeness of its Features made it appear the most
deformed Animal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while
with one of my Sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the Boat.
But, the greatest Danger I ever underwent in that Kingdom,
was from a Monkey, who belonged to one of the Clerks of the
Kitchen. Glumdalclilch had locked me up in her Closet, while
she went somewhere upon Business, or a Visit. The Weather
being very warm, the Closet-Window was left open, as well as the
Windows and the Door of my bigger Box, in which I usually
lived, because of its Largeness and Conveniency. As I sat quietly
meditating at my Table, I heard something bounce in at the
Closet-Window, and skip about from one Side to the other;
whereat, although I were much alarmed, yet I ventured to look
out, but not stirring from my Seat; and then I saw this frolicksome Animal, frisking and leaping up and down, till at last he
came to my Box, which he seemed to view with great Pleasure
and Curiosity, peeping in at the Door and every Window. I
retreated to the farther Corner of my Room, or Box, but the
Monkey looking in at every Side, put me into such a Fright, that
I wanted Presence of Mind to conceal my self under the Bed, as
I might easily have done. After some Time spent in peeping,
grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me, and reaching one
of his Paws in at the Door, as a Cat does when she plays with a
Mouse, although I often shifted Place to avoid him, he at Length
caught hold of the Lappet of my Coat, (which being made of that
Country Cloth, was very thick and strong,) and dragged me out.
He took me up in his right Fore-foot, and held me as a Nurse
does a Child she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same
sort of Creature do with a Kitten in Europe: And when I offered
to struggle, he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more




I52


G ULLI VER'S TRAVELS.


prudent to submit. I have good Reason to believe that he took
me for a young one of his own Species, by his often stroaking my
Face very gently with his other Paw. In these Diversions he
was interrupted by a Noise at the Closet Dooi; as if some Body
were opening it; whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the Window,
at which he had come in, and thence upon the Leads and Gutters,
walking upon three Legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he
clamber'd up to a Roof that was next to ours. I heard Glumdalc'iich give a shreek at the Moment he was carrying me out. The
poor Girl was almost distracted: That Quarter of the Palace was
all in an uproar, the Servants ran for Ladders; the Monkey was
seen by hundreds in the Court, sitting upon the Ridge of a
Building, holding me like a Baby in one of his Fore-paws, and
feeding me with the other, by cramming into my Mouth some
Victuals he had squeezed out of the Bag on one Side of his
Chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of
the Rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think
they justly ought to be blamed, for without Question the Sight
was ridiculous enough to every Body but my self. Some of the
People threw up Stones, hoping to drive the Monkey down; but
this was strictly forbidden, or else very probably my Brains had
been dashed out.
The Ladders were now applied, and mounted by several Men,
which the Monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed; not being able to make Speed enough with his three
Legs, let me drop on a Ridge-Tyle, and made his Escape. Here
I sat for some Time, three hundred Yards from the Ground,
expecting every Moment to be blown down by the Wind, or to
fall by my own Giddiness, and come tumbling over and over
from the Ridge to the Eves: But an honest Lad, one of my
Nurse's Footmen, climbed up, and, putting me into his BreechesPocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choaked with the filthy Stuff the Monkey had
crammed down my Throat; but my dear little Nurse picked it
out of my Mouth with a small Needle, and then I fell a vomiting,
which gave me great Relief. Yet I was so weak, and bruised in




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


153


the Sides, with the Squeezes given me by this odious Animal,
that I was forced to keep my Bed a Fortnight. The King,
Queen, and all the Court, sent every Day to enquire after my
Health, and her Majesty made me several Visits during my Sickness. The Monkey was killed, and an Order made that no such
Animal should be kept about the Palace.
When I attended the King after my Recovery, to return him
Thanks for his Favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal
upon this Adventure. He asked me what my Thoughts and
Speculations were while I lay in the Monkey's Paw; how I liked
the Victuals he gave me; his manner of Feeding; and whether
the fresh Air on the Roof had sharpen'd my Stomack. He
desired to know what I would have done upon such an Occasion
in my own Country. I told his Majesty, that in Europe we had
no Monkeys, except such as were brought for Curiosities from
other Places, and so small, that I could deal with a Dozen of
them together, if they presumed to attack me. And as for that
monstrous Animal with whom I was so lately engaged, (it was
indeed as large as an Elephant,) if my Fears had suffered me to
think so far as to make use of my Hanger, (looking fiercely and
clapping my Hand upon the Hilt as I spoke,) when he poked his
Paw into my Chamber, perhaps I should have given him such
a Wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it, with more
haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm Tone, like a
Person who was jealous lest his Honour should be called in
question. However, my Speech produced nothing else besides
a loud Laughter, which all the Respect due to his Majesty from
those about him could not make them contain. This made me
reflect how vain an Attempt it is for a Man to endeavour doing
himself Honour among those who are out of all Degree of
Equality or Comparison with him. And yet I have seen the
Moral of my own Behaviour very frequent in Ezng-land since my
Return, where a little contemptible Varlet, without the least
Title to Birth, Person, Wit, or common Sense, shall presume to
look with Importance, and put himself upon a Foot with the
greatest Persons of the Kingdom.




154             GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.
I was every Day furnishing the Court with some ridiculous
Story; and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to Excess, yet
was arch enough to inform the Queen, whenever I committed
any Folly that she thought would be diverting to her Majesty.
The Girl who had been out of Order, was carried by her Governess to take the Air about an Hour's Distance, or thirty Miles
from Town. They alighted out of the Coach near a small Footpath in a Field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling
Box, I went out of it to walk. There was a Cow-Dung in the
Path, and I must needs try my Activity by attempting to leap
over it. I took a Run, but unfortunately jumped short, and
found my self just in the Middle up to my Knees. I waded
through with some Difficulty, and one of the Footmen wiped me
as clean as he could with his Handkerchief; for I was filthily
bemired, and my Nurse confined me to my Box till we returned
home; where the Queen was soon informed of what had passed,
and the Footmen spread it about the Court; so that all the
Mirth, for some Days, was at my Expence.




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I55


CHAPTER VI.
Several Contrivances of the Author to please the King and Queen.
He shews his Skill in Musick. The King enquires into the
State of Europe, which the Author relates to him. The King's
Observations thereon.
I USED to attend the King's Levee once or twice a Week, and
had often seen him under the Barber's Hand, which indeed
was at first very terrible to behold: For the Razor was almost
twice as long as an ordinary Scythe. His Majesty, according
to the Custom of the Country, was only shaved twice a Week.
I once prevailed on the Barber to give me some of the Suds
or Lather, out of which I picked'forty or fifty of the strongest
Stumps of Hair. I then took a Piece of fine Wood, and cut it
like the back of a Comb, making several Holes in it at equal
Distance with as small a Needle as I could get from Glumdatcitch. I fixed in the Stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping
them with my Knife towards the Points, that I made a very
tolerable Comb; which was a seasonable Supply, my own being
so much broken in the Teeth, that it was almost useless: Neither
did I know any Artist in that-Country so nice and exact, as
would undertake to make me another.
And this puts me in Mind of an Amusement wherein I spent
many of my leisure Hours. I desired the Queen's Woman to
save for me the Combings of Her Majesty's Hair, whereof in
Time I got a good Quantity, and consulting with my Friend the
Cabinet-Maker, who had received general Orders to do little
Jobbs for me, I directed him to make two Chair-Frames, no
larger than those I had in my Box, and then to bore little




I56


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


Holes with a fine Awl round those Parts where I designed the
Backs and Seats; through these Holes I wove the strongest Hairs
I could pick out, just after the manner of Cane-Chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a Present of them to
her Majesty, who kept them in her Cabinet, and used to shew
them for Curiosities, as indeed they were the Wonder of every
one that beheld them.  The Queen would have had me sit
upon one of these Chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her,
protesting I would rather die a thousand Deaths than place a
dishonourable Part of my Body on those precious Hairs that
once adorned her Majesty's Head. Of these Hairs (as I had
always a Mechanical Genius) I likewise made a neat little Purse
about five Foot long, with her Majesty's Name decyphered in Gold
Letters, which I gave to Gluhndalclitch, by the Queen's Consent.
To say the Truth, it was more for Show than Use, being not of
Strength to bear the Weight of the larger Coins, and therefore
she kept nothing in it, but some little Toys that Girls are
fond of.
The King, who delighted in Musick, had frequent Consorts at
Court, to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my Box on
a Table to hear them: But, the Noise was so great, that I could
hardly distinguish the Tunes. I am confident that all the Drums
and Trumpets of a Royal Army, beating and sounding together
just at your Ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have
my Box removed from the Places where the Performers sat, as
far as I could, then to shut the Doors and Windows of it, and
draw the Window-Curtains; after which I found their Musick
not disagreeable.
I had learned in my Youth to play a little upon the Spinet.
Glumdalclitch kept one in her Chamber, and a Master attended
twice a Week to teach her: I call it a Spinet, because it somewhat resembled that Instrument, and was play'd upon in the same
Manner. A fancy came into my Head that I would entertain
the King and Queen with an EZnglish Tune upon this Instrument.
But this appeared extremely difficult: For, the Spinet was nearly
sixty Foot long, each Key being almost a Foot wide, so that, with




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I57


my Arms extended, I could not reach to above five Keys, and to
press them down required a good smart Stroak with my Fist,
which would be too great a Labour, and to no Purpose. The
Method I contrived was this. I prepared two round Sticks about
the Bigness of common Cudgels; they were thicker at one End
than the other, and I covered the thicker Ends with a Piece of a
Mouse's Skin, that by rapping on them, I might neither damage
the Tops of the Keys, nor interrupt the Sound.  Before the
Spinet a Bench was placed about four Foot below the Keys, and
I was put upon the Bench. I ran sideling upon it that Way and
this, as fast as I could, banging the proper Keys with my two
Sticks, and made a Shift to play a Jigg, to the great Satisfaction
of both their Majesties: But it was the most violent Exercise I
ever underwent, and yet I could not strike above sixteen Keys,
nor, consequently, play the Bass and Treble together, as other
Artists do; which was a great Disadvantage to my Performance.
The King, who, as I before observed, was a Prince of excellent
Understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought
in my Box, and set upon the Table in his Closet: He would then
command me to bring one of my Chairs out of the Box, and sit
down within three Yards Distance upon the Top of the Cabinet,
which brought me almost to a level with his Face.  In this
Manner I had several Conversations with him. I one Day took
the Freedom to tell his Majesty, that the Contempt he discovered
towards Euroje, and the rest of the World, did not seem answerable to those excellent Qualities of the Mind he was Master of.
That Reason did not extend it self with the Bulk of the Body:
On the contrary, we observed in our Country, that the tallest
Persons were usually least provided with it. That among other
Animals, Bees and Ants had the Reputation of more Industry,
Art, and Sagacity, than many of the larger Kinds; and that, as
inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do
his Majesty some signal Service. The King heard me with Attention, and began to conceive a much better Opinion of me than
he had ever before. He desired I would give him as exact an
Account of the Government of England, as I possibly could;




I58


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


because, as fond as Princes commonly are of their own Customs,
(for so he conjectured of other Monarchs by my former Discourses,) he should be glad to hear of any Thing that might
deserve Imitation.
Imagine with thy self, courteous Reader, how often I then
wished for the Tongue of Denmosthenes or Cicero, that might have
enabled me to celebrate the Praise of my own dear native Country
in a Stile equal to its Merits and Felicity.
-   I began my Discourse by informing his Majesty that our Dominions consisted of two Islands, which composed three mighty
Kingdoms under one Sovereign, besides our Plantations in America.
I dwelt long upon the Fertility of our Soil, and the Temperature
of our Climate. I then spoke at large upon the Constitution of
an English Parliament, partly made up of an illustrious Body
called the House of Peers, Persons of the noblest Blood, and of
the most ancient and ample Patrimonies. I described that extraordinary Care always taken of their Education in Arts and Arms,
to qualify them for being Counsellors born to the King and Kingdom; to have a Share in the Legislature; to be Members of the
highest Court of Judicature, from whence there could be no
Appeal; and to be Champions always ready for the Defence of
their Prince and Country, by their Valour, Conduct and Fidelity. -
That these were the Ornament and Bulwark of the Kingdom,
worthy Followers of their most renowned Ancestors, whose
Honour had been the Reward of their Virtue, from which their
Posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these werel )\
joined several holy Persons, as part of that Assembly, under the r
Title of Bishops, whose peculiar Business it is to take care of
Religion, and of those who instruct the People therein. These A
were searched, and sought out, through the whole Nation, by the
Prince and his wisest Counsellors, among such of the Priesthood -
as were most deservedly distinguished by the Sanctity of their
Lives, and the depth of their Erudition, who were indeed the
spiritual Fathers of the Clergy and the People.          '
That, the other Part of the Parliament consisted of an Assembly
called the House of Commons, who were all principal Gentlemen,




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I59


freely picked and culled out by the People themselves, for their
great Abilities and Love of their Country, to represent the Wisdom
of the whole Nation. And these two Bodies make up the most
august Assembly in Eiurope, to whom, in Conjunction with the
Prince, the whole Legislature is Committed.
I then descended to the Courts of Justice, over which the
Judges, those venerable Sages and Interpreters of the Law presided, for determining the disputed Rights and Properties of Men,
as well as for the Punishment of Vice, and Protection of Innocence. I mentioned the prudent Management of our Treasury,
the Valour and Atchievements of our Forces by Sea and Land.
I computed the Number of our People, by reckoning how many
Millions there might be of each religious Sect, or political Party
among us. I did not omit even our Sports and Pastimes, or any
other Particular which I thought might redound to the Honour
of my Country. And I finished all with a brief historical Account
of Affairs and Events in England for about an hundred Years
past.
This Conversation was not ended under five Audiences, each
of several Hours, and the King heard the whole with great Attention, frequently taking Notes of what I spoke, as well as Memorandums of all Questions he intended to ask me.,     '
When I had put an End to these long Discourses, his Majestyl  Gty +"
in a sixth Audience consulting his Notes, proposed many Doubts, ~  '
Queries, and Objections, upon every Article.  He asked what.
Methods were used to cultivate the Minds and Bodies of our \young Nobility, and in what kind of Business they commonly  i
spent the first and teachable Part of their Lives. What Course
was taken to supply that Assembly when any noble Family became
extinct. What Qualifications were necessary in those who are to
be- created new Lords: Whether the Humour of the Prince, a
Sum of Money to a Court Lady or a Prime  inister, or a Design V-t'  /
of strengthening a Party opposite to the publick Interest, ever
happened to be Motives in those Advancements. What Share of
Knowledge these Lords had in the Laws of their Country, and
how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the Pro



I6o


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


perties of their Fellow-Subjects in the last Resort. Whether they
were always so free from Avarice, Partialities, or Want, that a
Bribe, or some other sinister View, could have no Place among
them. Whether those holy Lords I spoke of were always promoted to that Rank upon account of their Knowledge in religious
Matters, and the Sanctity of their Lives, had never been Compliers
with the Times while they were common Priests, or slavish prostitute Chaplains to some Nobleman, whose Opinions they continued
servilely to follow after they were admitted into that Assembly.
He then desired to know what Arts were practised in electing
those whom I called Commoners: Whether a Stranger with a
strong Purse might not influence the vulgar Voters to choose him
before their own Landlord, or the most considerable Gentleman
in the Neighbourhood. How it came to pass, that People were
so violently bent upon getting into this Assembly, which I allowed
to be a great Trouble and Expence, often to the Ruin of their
Families, without any Salary or Pension: Because this appeared
such an exalted Strain of Virtue and publick Spirit, that his
Majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere:
And he desired to know whether such zealous Gentlemen could
have any Views of refunding themselves for the Charges and
Trouble they were at, by sacrificing the publick Good to the
Designs of a weak and vicious Prince in Conjunction with a
corrupted Ministry. He multiplied his Questions, and sifted me
thoroughly upon every Part of this Head, proposing numberless
Enquiries and Objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our Courts of Justice, his
Majesty desired to be satisfied in several Points: And this I was
the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a
long Suit in the Chancery, which was decreed for me with Costs.
He asked, what Time was usually spent in determining between
Right and Wrong, and what Degree of Expence.    Whether
Advocates and Orators had Liberty to plead in Causes manifestly
known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive. Whether Party in
Religion or Politicks were observed to be of any Weight in the
*^i      "^ '    ^,




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.                 I61
Scale of Justice. Whether those pleading Orators were Persons
educated in the general Knowledge of Equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local Customs. Whether they or their
Judges had any Part in penning those Iaws which they assumed
the Liberty of interpreting and glossing upon at their Pleasure.
Whether they had ever at different Times pleaded for and against
the same Cause, and cited Precedents to prove contrary Opinions.
Whether they were a rich or a poor Corporation. Whether they
received any pecuniary Reward for pleading or delivering their
Opinions. And particular;y, whether they were ever admitted as
Members in the lower Senate.
He fell next upon the Management of our Treasury, and said,
he thought my Memory had failed me, because I computed our
Taxes at about five or six Millions a Year, and when I came to
mention the Issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more
\an double; for the Notes he had taken we:e very particular in
this Point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the Knowledge
of our Conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be
'deceived in his Calculations. But, if what I told him were true,
he was still at a Loss how a Kingdom could run out of its Estate
like a private Person. He asked lne, who were our Creditors;
and where we should find Money to pay them. He wonder'd to
hear me talk of such chargeable and extensive Wars; that cer'tainly we must be a quarrelsome People, or live among very bad
Neighbours, and that our Generals must needs be richer than our
Kings. He asked what Business we had out of our own Islands,
unless upon the Score of Trade or Treaty, or to defend the Coasts
with our Fleet. Above all, he was aimazed to hear me talk of a
mercenary standing Army in the midst of Peace, and among a
free People. He said, if we were governed by our own Consent in
the Persons of our Representatives, he could not imagine of whom
we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight, and would hear
my Opinion, whether a private Man's House might not better be
defended by himself, his Children, and Family, than by half a dozen
Rascals picked up at a venture in the Streets, for small Wages,
who might get an hundred times more by cutting their Throats.
L




162


G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


He laughed at my odd Kind of Arithmetick (as he was pleased.
to call it) in reckoning the Numbers of our People by a Computation drawn from the several Sects among us in Religion and
Politicks. He said, he knew no Reason, why those who entertain Opinions prejudicial to the Publick, should be obliged to
change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it
was Tyranny in any Government to require the first, so it was
Weakness not to enforce the second: For a Man may be allowed
to keep Poisons in his Closet, but not to vend them about for
Cordials.
He observed, that among the Diversions of our Nobility and
Gentry, I had mentioned Gaming. He desired to know at what
Age this Entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was
laid down; how much of their Time it employed; whether it
ever went so high as to affect their Fortunes: Whether mean
vicious People, by their Dexterity in that Art, might not arrive
at great Riches, and sometimes keep our very Nobles in Dependance, as well as habituate them to vile Companions, wholly
take them from the Improvement of their Minds, and force them,
by the Losses they have received, to learn and practise that
infamous Dexterity upon others.
He was perfectly astonishes with the historical Account I gave
him of our Affairs during the3last Century, protesting it was only
an Heap of Conspiracies,'Rebellions, Murders, Massacres, Revolutions, Banishments, tle very worst Effects that Avarice, Faction,
Hypocrisy, Perfidiousnes Cruelty, Rage, Madness, Hatred, Envy,
Lust, Malice, or Ambition, could produce.
-His Majesty in another Audience was at the Pains to recapitulate the Sum of all I had spoken, compared the Questions he
made with the Answers I had given; then taking me into his
Hands, and stroaking me gently, delivered himself in these Words,
which I shall never forget, nor the Manner he spoke them in:
-My little Friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable Panegyrick upon your Country: You have clearly proved that Ignorance, Idleness and Vice may be sometimes the only Ingredients
for qualifying a Legislator: That Laws are best explained, inter



A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.                 163
preted, and applied by those whose Interest and Abilities lie in
perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among
you some Lines of an Institution, which in its Original might have
been tolerable, but these half erazed, and the rest wholly blurred
and blotted by Corruptions. It doth not appear from all you
have said, how any one Virtue is required towards the Procurement
of any one Station among you, mucih less that Men were ennobled
on Account of their Virtue, that Priests were advanced for their
Piety or Learning, Soldiers for their Conduct or Valour, Judges
for their Integrity, Senators for the. Love of their Country, or
Counsellors for their Wisdom. As for yourself, (continued the
King,) who have spent the greatest Part of your Life in Travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped
many Vices of your Country. But by what I have gathered from
your own Relation, and the Answers I have with much Pain
wringed and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the Bulk
of your Natives to be the most pernicious Race of little odious
Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the Surface of
the Earth.




I64


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER VII.
The Author's Love of his Country.  He mlakees a Proposal of much
Advantlage to the Kinfg, which is rejected.  The Ating's great
Ignorance in Politicks.  The Learning of that Counhty very
im.pefect and confined.  Their Laws and military Affairs,
and Parties in the State.
N  OTHING but an extreme Love of Truth could have hinder'd
me from concealing this Part of my Story. It was in vain
to discover my Resentments, which were always turned into
Ridicule; and I was forced to rest with Patience while my
noble and most beloved Country was so injuriously treated. I
am heartily sorry as any of my Readers can possibly be, that such
an Occasion was given: But this Prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every Particular, that it could not consist either with Gratitude or good Manners to refuse giving him
what Satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed
to say in my own Vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his
Questions, and gave to every Point a more favourable Turn by
many Degrees than the Strictness of Truth would allow. For I
have always borne that laudable Partiality to my own Country,
which Dioznysius Hahicarnasscnsis with so much Justice recommends to an Historian: I would hide the Frailties and Deformities
of my Political Mother, and place her Virtues and Beauties in t' -
most advantageous Light. This was my sincere Endeavour
those many Discourses I had with that Monarch, although}
unfortunately failed of Success.
But great Allowances should be given to a King who
wholly secluded from the rest of the World, and must ther:




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


i65


be altogether unacquainted with the Manners and Customs that
most prevail in other Nations: The want of which Knowledge
will ever produce many Prejudices, and a certain Narrowzness of
thinking, from which we and the politer Countries of Europe are
wholly exempted. And it would be hard, indeed, if so remote a
Prince's Notions of Virtue and Vice were to be offered as a
Standard for all Mankind.
To confirm what I have now said, and further, to shew the
miserable Effects of a confined Educafion, I shall here insert a
Passage which will hardly obtain Belief. In hopes to ingratiate
my self farther into his Majesty's Favour, I told him of an Invention discovered between three and four hundred Years ago, to
make a certain Powder, into an Heap of which the smallest
Spark of Fire falling, would kindle the whole in a Moment,
although it were as big as a Mountain, and make it all fly up in
the Air together, with a Noise and Agitation greater than Thunder.
That a proper Quantity of this Powder rammed into an hollow
Tube of Brass or Iron, according to its Bigness, would drive a
Ball of Iron or Lead with such Violence and Speed, as nothing
was able to sustain its Force. That the largest Balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole Ranks of an Army at
once, but batter the strongest Walls to the Ground, sink down
Ships, with a Thousand Men in each, to the Bottom of the Sea;
and, when linked together by a Chain, would cut through Masts
and Rigging, divide hundreds of Bodies in the Middle, and lay
all waste before them. That we often put this Powder into large
hollow Balls of Iron, and discharged them by an Engine into
some City we were besieging, which would rip up the Pavements,
tear the Houses to pieces, burst and throw Splinters on every
Side, dashing out the Brains of all who came near. That I knew
the Ingredieits very well, which were cheap, and common; I
understood the Manner of compounding them, and could direct
his Workmen how to make those Tubes of a Size proportionable
to all other Things in his Majesty's Kingdom, and the largest
need not be above an hundred Foot long; twenty or thirty of
which Tubes, charged with the proper Quantity of Powder and




I66


G ULLI VER'S TRAVELS.


Balls, would batter down the Walls of the strongest Town in his
Dominions in a few Hours, or destroy the whole Metropolis, if
ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute Commands. This
I h    y offered to his Majesty as a SIai Tribute of Acknowledgment in Return of so many Marks that I had received of his
Royal Favour and Protection.
The King was struck with Horror at the Description I had
given of those terrible Engines, and the Proposal I had made.
He was amazed how so impotent and groveling an Insect as I
(these were his Expressions) could entertain such inhuman Ideas,
and in so familiar a manner as to appear wholly unmoved at all
the Scenes of Blood and Desolation, which I had painted as the
common Effects of those destructive Machines, whereof he said,
some evil Genius, Enemy to Mankind, must have been the first
Contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few Things
delighted him so much as new Discoveries in Art or in Nature,
yet he would rather lose half his Kingdom than be privy to such
a Secret, which he commanded me, as I valued my Life, never
to mention any more.
A strange Effect of natrrow Principzes and short Views! that a
Prince possesssed of every Quality which procures Veneration,
Love, and Esteem; of stiong Parts, great Wisdom, and profound
Learning, endued with admirable Talents for Government, and
almost adored by his Subjects, should from a nice unnecessary
Scruple, whereof in Euiro-e we can have no Conception, let slip
an Opportunity put into his Hands, that would have made him
absolute Master of the Lives, the Liberties, and the Fortunes of
his People. Neither do I say this with the least Intention to
detract from the many Virtues of that excellent King, whose
Character I am sensible, will, on this Account, be very much
lessened in the Opinion of an English Reader: But I take this
Defect among them to have risen from their Ignorance, they not
having hitherto reduced Politicks into a Science, as the more
acute Wits of Europe have done. For I remember very well, in
a Discourse one Day with the King, when I happened to say
there were several thousand Books among us written upon the




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I67


Art of Gozterntnenlt, it gave him (directly contrary to my Intention) a very mean Opinion of our Understandings. He professed
both to abominate and despise all,flysty,s  Refinemlenf, and
lntri-gue, either in a Prince or a Minister. He could not tell
what I meant by Secrets of State, where an Enemy or some Rival
Nation were not in the Case. He confined the Knowledge of
(overning withiin very narrow Bolundts, to common Sense and
Reason, to Justice and Lenity, to the speedy Determination of
civil and criminal Causes; with some other obvious Topicks
which are not worth considering. And, he gave it for his Opinion,
that whoever could make two Ears of Corn, or two Blades of (
Grass, to grow upon a Spot of Ground where only one grew
before, would deserve better of M1ankind, and do more essential
Service to his Country than the whole Race of Politicians put
together.
The Learning of this People is very defective, consisting only
in Morality, Iistory, Poetry, and Mathematicks, wherein they
must be allowed to excel. But, the last of these is wholly
applied to what may be useful in Life, to the Improvement of
Agriculture and all mechanical Arts; so that among us it would
be little esteemed. And as to Ideas, Entities, Abstractions and
Transcendentals, I could never drive the least Conception into
their heads.
No Law of that Country must exceed in Words the Number
of Letters in their Alphabet, which consists only in two and
twenty. But, indeed, few of them extend even to that Length.
They are expressed in the most plain and simple Terms, wherein
those People are not mercurial enough to discover above one
Interpretation: And to write a Comment upon any Law is a
capital Crime. As to the Decision of civil Causes, or Proceedings against Criminals, their Precedents are so few, that they have
little Reason to boast of any extraordinary Skill in either.
They have had the Art of Printing, as well as the Chliese, Time
out of mind: But their Libraries are not very large; for that of
tile King's, which is reckoned the biggest, doth not amount to
above a thousand Volumes, placed in a Gallery of twelve hundred




i68


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


Foot long, from whence I had Liberty to borrow what Books I
pleased. The Queen's Joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's Rooms a kind of wooden Machine five and twenty Foot
high, formed like a standing Ladder, the Steps were each fifty
Foot long: It was indeed a moveable Pair of Stairs, the lowest
End placed at ten Foot Distance from the Wall of the Chamber.
The Book I had a mind to read was put up leaning against the
Wall: I first mounted to the upper Step of the Ladder, and turning my Face towards the Book, began at the Top of the Page,
and so walking to the Right and Left about eight or ten Paces,
according to the Length of the Lines, till I had gotten a little
below the Level of mine Eyes, and then descending gradually
till I came to the Bottom: After which I mounted again, and
began the other Page in the same manner, and so turned over
the Leaf, which I could easily do with both my Hands, for it was
as thick and stiff as a Pasteboard, and in the largest Folio's not
above eighteen or twenty Foot long.
Their Stile is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid, for
they avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary Words, or
using various Expressions, I have perused many of their Books,
especially those in History and Morality. Among the rest I was
much diverted with a little old Treatise, which always lay in
Glumdalclitch's Bed-Chamber, and belonged to her Governess, a
grave elderly Gentlewoman, who dealt in Writings of Morality
and Devotion. The Book treats of the Weakness of Human
Kind, and is in little Esteem, except among the Women and the
Vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an Author of that
Country could say upon such a Subject. This Writer went
through all the usual Topicks of European Moralists, shewing
how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an Animal was Man
in his own Nature; how unable to defend himself from Inclemencies of the Air; or the Fury of wild Beasts: How much he
was excelled by one Creature in Strength, by another in Speed,
by a third in Foresight, by a fourth in Industry. He added, that
Nature was degenerated in these latter declining Ages of the
World, and could now produce only small abortive Births in




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


169


comparison of those in ancient Times. He said, it was very
reasonable to think, not only that the Species of Man were
originally much larger, but also, that there must have been Giants
in former Ages, which, as it is asserted by History and Tradition,
so it hath been confirmed by huge Bones and Skulls casually dug
up in several Parts of the Kingdom, far exceeding the common
dwindled Race of Man in our Days. He argued, that the very
Laws of Nature absolutely required we should have been made in
the Beginning, of a Size more large and robust, not so liable to
Destruction from every little Accident of a Tile falling from an
House, or a Stone cast from the Hand of a Boy, or of being
drowned in a little Brook. From this way of Reasoning, the
Author drew several moral Applications useful in the Conduct of
Life, but needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not
avoid reflecting how universally this Talent was spread, of drawing Lectures in Morality, or, indeed, rather Matter of Discontent
and Repining, from the Quarrels we raise with Nature. And, I
believe, upon a strict Enquiry, those Quarrels might be shewn as
ill-grounded among us, as they are among that People.
As to their Military Affairs, they boast that the King's Army
consists of an hundred and seventy six thousand Foot, and thirty
two thousand Horse: If that may be called an Army which is
made up of Tradesmen in the several Cities, and Farmers in the
Country, whose Commanders are only the Nobility and Gentry,
without Pay or Reward. They are, indeed, perfect enough in
their Exercises, and under very good Discipline, wherein I saw
no great Merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every
Farmer is under the Command of his own Landlord, and every
Citizen under that of the principal Men in his own City, chosen
after the Manner of Venice by Ballot?
I have often seen the Militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to
exercise in a great Field near the City, of twenty Miles square.
They were, in all, not above twenty five thousand Foot, and six
thousand Horse; but it was impossible for me to compute their
Number, considering the space of Ground they took up. A
Cavalier mounted on a large Steed might be about one hundred




1'70


GULLIVER'S -TRA VELS.


Foot high. I have seen this whole Body of Horse, upon a Word
of Command, draw their Swords at once, and brandish them in
the Air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising,
and so astonishing: It looked as if ten thousand Flashes of
Lightning were darting at'the same Time from every Quarter of
the Sky.
I was curious to know how this Prince, to whose Dominions
there is no Access from any other Country, came to think of
Armies, or to teach his People the Practice of military Discipline.
But I was soon informed, both by Conversation, and reading
their Histories: For, in the Course of many Ages they have been
troubled with the same Disease to which so many other Governments are subject; the Nobility often contending for Power, the
People for Liberty, and the King for absolute Dominion. All
which, however, happily tempered by the Laws of the Kingdom,
have been sometimes violated by each of the three Parties, and
have once or more occasioned Civil Wars, the last whereof was
happily put an End to by this Prince's Grandfather by a general
Composition; and the Militia, then settled with common Consent,
hath been ever since kept in the strictest Duty.




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


17l


CHAPTER VIII.
The King and Queen nake a Progress to /te Frontiers.  The
Author aftends them. The Afanner in which hle leaves the
Counlhy zeiy parliculairly re/a/ed. Hle returnls to England.
I HAD always a strong Impulse that I should some Time
recover my Liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture
by what Means, or to form any Project with the least Hope of
succeeding. The Ship in which I sailed was the first ever known
to be driven within Sight of that Coast, and the King had given
strict Orders, that if at any time another appeared, it should be
taken ashore, and, with all its Crew and Passengers, brought in
a Tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to get me a
Woman of my own Size, by whom I might propagate the Breed:
But, I think, I should rather have died than undergone the Disgrace of leaving a Posterity to be kept in Cages like tame Canary
Birds, and perhaps, in Time, sold about the Kingdom to Persons
of Quality for Curiosities. I was, indeed, treated with much
Kindness: I was the Favourite of a great King and Queen,
and the Delight of the whole Court, but it was upon such a
Foot as ill became the Dignity of Human Kind. I could never
forget those domestick Pledges I had left behind me. I wanted
to be among People with whom I could converse upon even
Terms, and walk about the Streets and Fields without Fear of
being trodden to Death like a Frog or a young Puppy. But
my Deliverance came sooner than I expected, and, in a Manner,
not very common: The whole Story and Circumstances of which,
I shall faithfully relate.
I had now been two Years in this Country; and, about the




172


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Beginning of the third, Gluhzdalclitch and I attended the King
and Queen in a Progress to the South Coast of the Kingdom. I
was carried, as usual, in my Travelling-Box, which, as I have
already described, was a very convenient Closet of twelve Foot
wide. And I had ordered a Hammock to be fixed, by silken
Ropes, from the four Corners at the Top, to break the Jolts,
when a Servant carried me before him on Horseback, as I sometimes desired, and would often sleep in my Hammock while we
were upon the Road. On the Roof of my Closet, not directly
over the Middle of the Hammock, I ordered the Joyner to cut
out a hole of a Foot square, to give me Air in hot Weather, as I
slept; which Hole I shut, at Pleasure, with a Board that drew
backwards and forwards through a Groove.
When we came to our Journey's End, the King thought proper
to pass a few Days at a Palace he hath near Flanflasnic, a City
within eighteen Eng-lish Miles of the Sea-side.  Glumdalczitch
and I were much fatigued; I had gotten a small Cold, but the
poor Girl was so ill as to be confined to her Chamber. I longed
to see the Ocean, which must be the only Scene of my Escape, if
ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I really
was, and desired Leave to take the fresh Air of the Sea, with a
Page whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been
trusted with me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness
Glumdalclitch consented, nor the strict Charge she gave the Page
to be careful of me, bursting at the same Time into a Flood of
Tears, as if she had some Foreboding of what was to happen.
The Boy took me out in my Box about half an hours Walk from
the Palace towards the Rocks on the Sea-shore. I ordered him
to set me down, and lifting up one of my Sashes, cast many a
wistful melancholy Look towards the Sea. I found my self not
very well, and told the Page that I had a Mind to take a Nap in
my Hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and
the Boy shut the Window close down to keep out the Cold. I
soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, that while I slept, the
Page thinking no Danger could happen, went among the Rocks
to look for Bird's Eggs, having before observed him from my




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


173


Window searching about, and picking up one or two in the Clefts.
Be that as it will, I found my self suddenly awaked with a violent
Pull upon the Ring which was fastned at the Top of my Box for
the Conveniency of Carriage. I felt my Box raised very high in
the Air, and then born forward with prodigious Speed. The first
Jolt had like to have shaken me out of my Hammock, but afterwards the Motion was easy enough. I called out several Times,
as loud as I could raise my Voice, but all to no Purpose. I
looked towards my Windows, and could see nothing but the
Clouds and Sky. I heard a Noise just over my Head like the
clapping of Wings, and then began to perceive the woful Condition I was in, that some Eagle had got the Ring of my Box in
his Beak, with an Intent to let it fall on a Rock like a Tortoise
in a Shell, and then pick out my Body, and devour it. For
the Sagacity and Smell of this Bird enable him to discover his
Quarry at a great Distance, though better concealed than I could
be within a Two-Inch Board.
In a little Time I observed the Noise and Flutter of Wings to
increase very fast, and my Box was tossed up and down like a
Sign-Post in a windy Day. I heard several Bangs or Buffets, as
I thought, given to the Eagle, (for such I am certain it must have
been that held the Ring of my Box in his Beak,) and then all on
a sudden felt my self falling perpendicularly down for above a
Minute, but with such incredible Swiftness that I almost lost my
Breath. My Fall was stopped by a terrible Squash, that sounded
louder to mine Ears than the Cataract of Niagara; after which I
was quite in the dark for another Minute, and then my Box began
to rise so high that I could see Light from the Tops of my
Windows. I now perceived that I was fallen into the Sea. My
Box, by the Weight of my Body, the goods that were in, and the
broad Plates of Iron fixed for Strength at the four Corners of the
Top and Bottom, floated about five Foot deep in Water. I did
then, and do now suppose that the Eagle which flew away with
my Box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let
me drop while he was defending himself against the rest, who
hoped to share in the Prey. Tihe Plates of Iron fasten'd at the




174


G ULLI VER'S TRAVELS.


Bottom of the Box, (for those were the strongest,) preserved the
Balance while it fell, and hinder'd it from being broken on the
Surface of the Water. Every Joint of it was well grooved; and
the Door did not move on Hinges, but up and down like a Sash,
which kept my Closet so tight that very little Water came in.
I got with much Difficulty out of my Hammock, having first
ventured to draw back the Slip-board on the Roof already mentioned, contrived on Purpose to let in Air, for want of which I
found my self almost stifled.
How often did I then wish my self with my dear Glumdaclitc/h,
from whom one single Hour had so far divided me! And I may
say, with Truth, that in the midst of my own Misfortunes I could
not forbear lamenting my poor Nurse, the Grief she would suffer
for my Loss, the Displeasure of the Queen, and the Ruin of her
Fortune. Perhaps many Travellers have not been under greater
Difficulties and Distress than I was at this Juncture, expecting
every Moment to see my Box dashed in Pieces, or at least overset by the first violent Blast, or a rising Wave. A Breach in one
single Pane of Glass would have been immediate Death: Nor
could any Thing have preserved the Windows but the strong
Lettice-Wires placed on the out-side against Accidents in Travelling. I saw the Water ooze in at several Crannies, although the
Leaks were not considerable, and I endeavoured to stop them
as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the Roof of my
Closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sate
on the Top of it, where I might, at least, preserve my self some
Hours longer than by being shut up, as I may call it, in the Hold.
Or if I escaped these Dangers, for a Day or two, what could I
expect but a miserable Death of Cold and Hunger! I was four
Hours under these Circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing,
every Moment to be my last.
I have already told the Reader, that there were two strong
Staples fixed upon that Side of my Box which had no Window,
and into which the Servant who used to carry me on horseback
would put a leathern Belt, and buckle it about his Waste. Being
in this disconsolate State, I heard, or at least thought, I heard




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I75


some kind of grating Noise on that Side of my Box where the
Staples were fixed, and soon after I began to fancy that the Box
was pulled, or towed along in the Sea; for I now and then felt
a sort of tugging which made the Waves rise near the Tops of
my Windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me
some faint Hopes of Relief, although I was not able to imagine
how it could be brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of
my Chairs, which were always fastned to the Floor; and having
made a hard Shift to screw it down again directly under the
slipping Board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the Chair,
and, putting my Mouth as near as I could to the Hole, I called
for Help in a loud Voice, and in all the Languages I understood.
I then fastned my Handkerchief to a Stick I usually carried, and
thrusting it up the Hole, waved it several Times in the Air, that
if any Boat or Ship were near, the Seamen might conjecture some
unhappy Mortal to be shut up in this Box.
I found no Effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my
Closet to be moved along; and in the Space of an Hour, or
better, that Side of the Box where the Staples were, and had no
Window, struck against something that was hard. I apprehended
it to be a Rock, and found my self tossed more than ever. I
plainly heard a Noise upon the Cover of my Closet, like that of
a Cable, and the grating of it as it passed through the Ring. I
then found my self hoisted up by Degrees, at least three Foot
higher than I was before. Whereupon, I again thrust up my
Stick and Handkerchief, calling for Help till I was almost hoarse.
In return to which, I heard a great Shout repeated three Times,
giving me such Transports of Joy, as are not to be conceived but
by those who feel them. I now heard a Trampling over my
Head, and somebody calling through the Hole with a loud Voice
in the English Tongue, If there be any Body below, let them
speak. I answered, I was an EnglSishman, drawn by ill Fortune
into the greatest Calamity that ever any Creature underwent, and
begged by all that was moving, to be delivered out of the
Dungeon I was in. The Voice replied, I was safe, for my Box
was fasten'd to their Ship; and the Carpenter should immediately




176             GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
come, and saw an Hole in the Cover large enough to pull me
out. I answered, that was needless, and would take up too
much Time, for there was no more to be done, but let one of
the Crew put his Finger into the Ring, and take the Box out of
the Sea into the Ship, and so into the Captain's Cabbin. Some
of them upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad;
others la 6ned; for indeed it never came into my Head that I
was now got among People of my own Stature and Strength.
The Carpenter came, and in a few Minutes sawed a Passage
about four Foot square, then let down a small Ladder, upon
which I mounted, and from thence was taken into the Ship in a
very weak Condition.
The Sailors were all in Amazement, and asked me a thousand
Questions, which I had no Inclination to answer. I was equally
confounded at the Sight of so many Pigmies, for such I took
them to be, after having so long accustomed mine Eyes to
the monstrous Objects I had left. But the Captain Mr. Thomas
Wilcocks, an honest worthy Sh/ropshzie Man, observing I was
ready to faint, took me into his Cabbin, gave me a Cordial to
comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own Bed, advising
me to take a little Rest, of which I had great Need. Before I
went to sleep I gave him to understand that I had some valuable
Furniture in my Box too good to be lost; a fine Hammock, an
handsome Field-Bed, two Chairs, a Table, and a Cabinet: That
my Closet was hung on all Sides, or rather quilted with Silk and
Cotton: That if he would let one of the Crew bring my Closet
into-his Cabbin, I would open it there before him, and shew him
my Goods. The Captain hearing me utter these Absurdities,
concluded I was raving: However, (I suppose to pacify me,) he
promised to give Order as I desired, and going upon Deck sent
some of his Mien down into my Closet, from whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my Goods, and stripped off the
quilting; but the Chairs, Cabinet and Bed-sted being screwed
to the Floor, were much damaged by the Ignorance of the Seamen, who tore them up by Force. Then they knocked off some
of the Boards for the Use of the Ship, and when they had got




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


177


all they had a mind for, let the Hulk drop into the Sea, which by
Reason of many Breaches made in the Bottom and Sides, sunk
to rights. And indeed I was glad not to have been a Spectator
of the Havock they made; because I am confident it would have
sensibly touched me, by bringing former Passages into my Mind,
which I had rather forget.
I slept some Hours, but perpetually disturbed with Dreams of
the Place I had left, and the Dangers I had escaped. However,
upon waking I found my self much recovered. It was now about
eight a-Clock at Night, and the Captain ordered Supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained
me with great Kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk
inconsistently; and when we were left alone, desired I would
give him a Relation of my Travels, and by what Accident I came
to be set adrift in that monstrous wooden Chest. He said, that
about twelve a Clock at Noon, as he was looking through his
Glass, he spied it at a Distance, and thought it was a Sail, which he
had a mind to make, being not much out of his Course, in hopes
of buying some Biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That
upon coming nearer, and finding his Error, he sent out his LongBoat to discover what I was; that his Men came back in a Fright,
swearing they had seen a swimming House. That he laughed at
their Folly, and went himself in the Boat, ordering his Men to
take a strong Cable along with them. That the Weather being
calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my Windows,
and the Wire-Lattices that defended them. That he discovered
two Staples upon one Side, which was all of Boards, without any
Passage for Light. He then commanded his Men to row up to
that Side, and fastening a Cable to one of the Staples, ordered
them to tow my Chest (as they called it) towards the Ship. When it
was there, he gave Directions to fasten another Cable to the Ring
fixed in the Cover, and to raise up my Chest with Pullies, which
all the Sailors were not able to do above two or three Foot. He
said, they saw my Stick and Handkerchief thrust out of the Hole,
and concluded that some unhappy Men must be shut up in the
Cavity. I asked whether he or the Crew had seen any prodigious
M




GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


I78


Birds in the Air about the Time he first discovered me. To
which he answered, that discoursing this Matter with the Sailors
while I was asleep, one of them said he had observed three Eagles
flying towards the North, but remarked nothing of their being
larger than the usual Size, which I suppose must be imputed to
the great Height they were at; and he could not guess the Reason
of my Question. I then asked the Captain how far he reckoned
we might be from Land; he said, by the best Computation he
could make, we were at least an hundred Leagues. I assured
him, that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not left:the Country from whence I came above two Hours before I dropt
into the Sea. Whereupon he began again to think that my Brain
was disturbed, of which he gave me a Hint, and advised me to go
to Bed in a Cabbin he had provided. I assured him I was well
refreshed with his good Entertainment and Company, and as
much in my Senses as ever I was in my Life. He then grew
serious, and desired to ask me freely whether I were not troubled
in Mind by the Consciousness of some enormous Crime, for which
I was punished at the Command of some Prince, by exposing me
in that Chest, as great Criminals in other Countries have been
forced to Sea in a leaky Vessel without Provisions: For although
he should be sorry to have taken so ill a Man into his Ship, yet
he would engage his Word to set me safe on Shore ii the first
Port where we arrived. He added, that his Suspicions were much
increased by some very absurd Speeches I had delivered at first
to the Sailors, and afterwards to himself, in Relation to my Closet
or Chest, as well as by my odd Looks and Behaviour while I was
at Supper.
I begged his Patience,to hear me tell my Story, which I faithfully did from the last time I left England to the Moment he first
discovered me. And as Truth always forceth its Way into rational
Minds, so this honest worthy Gentleman, who had some Tincture
of Learning, and very good Sense, was immediately convinced of
my Candour and Veracity. But further to confirm all I had said,
I entreated him to give Order that my Cabinet should be brought,
of which I had the Key in my Pocket, (for he had already




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


179


informed me how the Seamen disposed of my Closet.) I opened
it in his own Presence, and shewed him the small Collection of
Rarities I made in the Country from whence I had been so
strangely delivered. There was the Comb I had contrived out of
the Stumps of the King's Beard, and another of the same Materials, but fixed into a Paring of her Majesty's Thumb-nail, which
served for the Back. There was a Collection of Needles and Pins
from a Foot to half a Yard long: Four Wasp Stings, like Joiners
Tacks: Some Combings of the Queen's Hair: A gold Ring which
one Day she made me a Present of in a most obliging Manner,
taking it fiom her little Finger, and throwing it over my Head like
a Collar. I desired the Captain would please to accept this Ring,
in Return of his Civilities, which he absolutely refused. I shewed
him a Corn that I had cut off with my own Hand, from a Maid
of Honour's Toe, it was about the Bigness of a Kentish Pippin,
and grown so hard, that when I returned to England, I got it
hollowed into a Cup, and set in Silver. Lastly, I desired him to
see the Breeches I had then on, which were made of a 'Mouse's
Skin.
I could force nothing on him but a Footman's Tooth, which I
observed him to examine with great Curiosity, and found he had
a Fancy for it. He received it with Abundance of Thanks, more
than such a Trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful
Surgeon in a Mistake from one of Gltumdalclitchl's Men, who
was afflicted with the Tooth-ach, but it was as sound as any in
his Head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my Cabinet. It was
about a Foot long, and four Inches in Diameter.
The Captain was very well satisfied with this plain Relation I
had given him, and said, he hoped when we returned to England,
I would oblige the World by putting it in Paper, and making it
publick. My Answer was, That I thought we were already overstocked with Books of Travels: That nothing could now pass
which was not extraordinary, wherein I doubted some Authors
less consulted Truth than their own Vanity, or Interest, or the
Diversion of ignorant Readers. That my Story could contain
little besides common Events, without those ornamental Descrip



i80


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


tions of strange Plants, Trees, Birds, and other Animals, or of the
barbarous Customs and Idolatry of savage People, with which
most Writers abound. However, I thanked him for his good
Opinion, and promised to take the Matter into my Thoughts.
He said, he wondered at one Thing very much, which was, to
hear me speak so loud, asking me whether the King or Queen of
that Country were thick of Hearing. I told him, it was what I
had been used to for above two Years past; and that I admired
as much at the Voices of him and his Men, who seemed to me
only to whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But
when I spoke in that Country, it was like a Man talking in the
Street to another looking out from the Top of a Steeple, unless
when I was placed on a Table, or held in any Person's Hand. I
told him, I had likewise observed another Thing, that when I
first got into the Ship, and the Sailors stood all about me, I
thought they were the most little contemptible Creatures I had
ever beheld. For, indeed, while I was in that Prince's Country,
I could never endure to look in a Glass after mine Eyes had
been accustomed to such prodigious Objects, because the Comparison gave me so despicable a Conceit of my self. The Captain
said, that while we were at Supper, he observed me to look at
every Thing with a sort of Wonder, and that I often seemed
hardly able to contain my Laughter, which he knew not well how
to take, but imputed it to some Disorder in my Brain. I answered,
it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I
saw his Dishes of the Size of a silver Three-pence, a Leg of Pork
hardly a Mouthful, a Cup not so big as a Nutshell; and so I
went on, describing the rest of his Houshold-stuff and Provisions
after the same Manner. For although the Queen had ordered a
little Equipage of all things necessary while I was in her Service,
yet my Ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side
of me, and I winked at my own Littleness as People do at their
own Faults. The Captain understood my Raillery very well, and
merrily replied with the old EnZglish Proverb, that he doubted
mine Eyes were bigger than my Belly, for he did not observe my
Stomach so good, althoughl I had fasted all Day; and continuing,




A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.


I8I


in his Mirth, protested he would have gladly given an hundred
Pounds to have seen my Closet in the Eagle's Bill, and afterwards
in its fall from so great an height into the Sea; which would
certainly have been a most astonishing Object, worthy to have
the Description of it transmitted to future Ages: And the Comparison of Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not forbear
applying it, although I did not much admire the Conceit.
The Captain having been at Tonquin was in his return to
England driven North eastward to the Latitude of 44 Degrees,
and of Longitude 143. But meeting a Trade Wind two Days
after I came on board him, we sailed Southward a long time,
and coasting N7ewzo-Holland kept our Course West-south-west, and
then South-south-west till we doubled the Cape of Good-hope.
Our Voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the
Reader with a Journal of it. Tile Captain called in at one or
two Ports and sent in his Long-boat for Provisions and fresh
Water, but I never went out of the Ship till we came into the
Downs, which was on the 3d. Day of June 1706, about nine
Months after my Escape. I offered to leave my Goods in Security
for Payment of my Freight; but the Captain protested he would
not receive one Farthing. We took kind leave of each other,
and I made him promise he would come to see me at my House
in Redrif. I hired a Horse and Guide for five Shillings, which I
borrowed of the Captain.
As I was on the Road, observing the Littleness of the Houses,,
the Trees, tie Cattle and the People, I began to think my self in ~
illiput. I was afraid of trampling on every Traveller I met,
and often called aloud to have them stand out of the way, so
that I had like to have gotten one or two broken Heads for my
Impertinence.
When I came to my own House, for which I was forced to
enquire, one of the Servants opening the Door, I bent down to
go in (like a Gooss under a Gate) for fear of striking my Head.
My Wife ran out to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her
Knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to reach my
Mouth. My Daughter kneeled to ask me Blessing, but I could




l82


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


not see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand with
my Head and Eyes erect to above sixty Foot; and then I went
to take her up with one Hand, by the Waste. I looked down
upon the Servants and one or two Friends who were in the
House, as if they had been Pigmies, and I a Giant. I told my
Wife she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved herself
and her Daughter to nothing. In short, I behaved my self so
unaccountably, that they were all of the Captain's Opinion when
he first saw me, and concluded I had lost my Wits. This I
mention as an Instance of the great Power of Habit and Prejudice.
In a little time- I and my Family and Friends came to a right
Understanding: But my Wife protested I should never go to Sea
any more; although my evil Destiny so ordered that she had not
Power to hinder me, as the Reader may know hereafter. In the
mean time I here conclude the Second Part of my unfortunate
Voyages.


The End of the Second Part.




I




TRAVELS
INTO SEVERAL
Remote Nations
OF THE
WORLD.
By Caflptai LEMUEL GULLIVER.
P A RT III.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI,
GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG, and
JAPAN.
PART      IV.
A VOYAGE to the HOUYHNHNMS.
The Second Edition.
LONDON.
Printed for BENJAMIN MOTTE, at the
Middle- Temple-Gate. M. DCC. xxvI.


M
















Plate]I.iiPart.tL

IPart Unkow


4 -

~,any$


I


J-Deje-r&OD,* 16
Ai U -ao
CAT"".1
'ftl


LAP'UTA, LtT(NA(GG, ETC.


[Ince 1"t. III, jh- IF5




TRAVELS.
PART III.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG,
GLUBBDUBDRIBB, AND JAPAN.
CHAPTER I.
The Author sets out on his Third Voyage; is taken by Fyrates.
The MalZice of a Dutchman. His Arrival at an Island. He
is received into Laputa.
I HAD not been at Home above ten Days, when Captain
William  Robinson, a Cornish Mlan, Commander of the
Hopewell, a stout Ship of* Three Hundred Tuns, came to my
House. I had formerly been Surgeon of another Ship where he
was Master, and a fourth Part Owner, in a Voyage to the Levant;
He had always treated me more like a Brother than an inferior
Officer, and hearing of my Arrival made me a Visit, as I apprehended only out of Friendship, for nothing passed more than
what is usual after long Absences.  But repeating his Visits
often, expressing his Joy to find me in good Health, asking
whether I were now settled for Life, adding that he intended a
Voyage to the East-Indies, in two Months, at last he plainly
invited me, though with some Apologies, to be Surgeon of the
Ship; that I should have another Surgeon under me besides our
two Mates; that my Sallary should be double to the usual Pay;




I86


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


and that having experienced my Knowledge in Sea-Afiairs to be
at least equal to his, he would enter into any Engagemrent to
follow my Advice, as much as if I had share in the Command.
He said so many other obliging Things, and I kle-w him to be
so honest a Man, that I could not reject his Proposl;. the Thirst
I had of seeing the World, notwithstanding my past Misfortunes,
continuing as violent as ever. The only Difficulty that remained,
was to persuade my Wife, whose Consent, ho,'cver, i at last
obtained by the Prospect of Advantage she lpoposcd to her
Children.
We set out the 5th Day of August, 1706. and arrived at Fort
St. George the nIth of A4ril, I707. stayed there three Weeks to
refresh our Crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we
went to Tonquin, where the Captain resolved to continue some
Time, because many of the Goods he intended to buy were not
ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched in some Months.
Therefore in hopes to defray some of the Charges he must be at,
he bought a Sloop, loaded it with several sorts of Goods, wherewith the Tonquiziese usually trade to the neighbouring Islands,
and putting fourteen Men on Board, whereof three were of the
Country, he appointed me Master of the Sloop, and gave me
Power to traffick for two Months, while he transacted his Affairs
at Tobzquin.
We had not sailed above three Days, when a great Storm arising,
we were driven five Days to the North-North-East, and then to
the East; after which we had fair Weather, but still with a pretty
strong Gale from the West. Upon the tenth Day we were chased
by two Pyrates, who soon overtook us; for my Sloop was so deep
loaden, that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a Condition
to defend our selves.
We were boarded about the same Time by both the Pyrates,
who enter'd furiously at the Head of their Men, but finding us all
prostrate upon our Faces, (for so I gave order,) they pinioned us
with strong Ropes, and setting a Guard upon us, went to search
the Sloop.
I observed among them a Dufc/hman, who seemed to be of




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


I87


some Authority, though he was not Commander of either Ship.
He knew us by our Countenances to be Englishlnen, and jabbering to us in his own Language, swore we should be tied Back to
Back, and thrown into the Sea. I spoke Dultch tolerably well; I
told him who we were, and begged him, in consideration of our
being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring Countries, in
strict Alliance, that he would move the Captains to take some
Pity on us. This inflamed his Rage; he repeated his Threatnings, and, turning to his Companions, spoke with great Vehemence, in the Japanese Language, as I suppose, often using the
Word Chlristianos.
The largest of the two Pyrate Ships was commanded by a
Jlpanese Captain, who spoke a little Duich, but very imperfectly.
He came up to me, and after several Questions, which I answered
in great Humility, he said we should not die. I made the Captain
a very low Bow, and then turning to the Dutchman, said, I was
sorry to find more Mercy in a Heathen, than in a Brother Christian. But I had soon Reason to repent those foolish Words, for
that malicious Reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to
persuade both the Captains that I might be thrown into the Sea,
(which they would not yield to after the Promise made me, that
I should not die,) however prevailed so far as to have a Punishment inflicted on me, worse in all human Appearance than Deati
it self. My Men were sent by an equal Division into both the
Pirate-Ships, and my Sloop new manned. As to my self, it was
determined that I should be set a drift in a small Canoe, with
Paddles and a Sail, and four Days Provisions, which last the
Japanese Captain was so kind to double out of his own Stores,
and would permit no Man to search me. I got down into the
Canoe, while the Dutchman standing upon the Deck, loaded me
with all the Curses and injurious Terms his Language could
afford.
About an Hour before we saw the Pirates, I had taken an
Observation, and found we were in the Latitude of 46 N. and of
Longitude i83. When I was at some Distance from the Pirates,
I discovered by my Pocket-Glass several Islands to the South



I88


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


East. I set up my Sail, the Wind being fair, with a Design to
reach the nearest of those Islands, which I made a Shift to do in
about three Hours. It was all rocky; however, I got many Birds
Eggs, and striking Fire I kindled some Heath and dry Sea-Weed,
by which I roasted my Eggs. I eat no other Supper, being
resolved to spare my Provisions as much as I could. I passed
the Night under the Shelter of a Rock, strowing some Heath
under me, and slept pretty well.
The next Day I sailed to another Island, and thence to a
third and fourth, sometimes using my Sail, and sometimes my
Paddles.  But not to trouble the Reader with a particular
Account of my Distresses, let it suffice, that on the 5th Day
I arrived at the last Island in my Sight, which lay South-SouthEast to the former.
This Island was at a greater Distance than I expected, and I
did not reach it in less than five Hours. I encompassed it almost
round before I could find a convenient Place to land in, which
was a small Creek, about three Times the Wideness of my Canoe.
I found the Island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with
Tufts of Grass, and sweet-smelling Herbs. I took out my small
Provisions, and after having refreshed my self, I secured the
Remainder in a Cave, whereof there were great Numbers. I
gathered plenty of Eggs upon the Rocks, and got a Quantity of
dry Sea-Weed and parched Grass, which I designed to kindle the
next Day, and roast my Eggs as well as I could. (For I had
about me my Flint, Steel, Match, and Burning-Glass.) I lay
all Night in the Cave where I had lodged my Provisions. My
Bed was the same dry Grass and Sea-weed which I intended
for Fewel. I slept very little, for the Disquiets of my Mind
prevailed over my Weariness, and kept me awake. I considered
how impossible it was to preserve my Life in so desolate a Place,
and how miserable my End must be. Yet I found my self so
listless and desponding, that I had not the Heart to rise, and
before I could get Spirits enough to creep out of my Cave, the
Day was far advanced. I walked a while among the Rocks; the
Sky was perfectly clear, and the Sun so hot, that I was forced to




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


I 9


turn my Face from it: When all on a sudden it became obscured,
as I thought, in a Manner very different from what happens by
the Interposition of a Cloud. I turned back, and perceived a
vast Opake Body between me and the Sun, moving forwards
iowards the Island: It seemed to be about two Miles high, and
hid the Sun six or seven Minutes; but I did not observe the Air
to be much colder, or the Sky more darkned, than if I had
stood under the Shade of a Mountain. As it approached nearer
over the Place where I was, it appeared to be a firm Substance,
the Bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from the Reflection of the Sea below. I stood upon a Height about two hundred
Yards from the Shoar, and saw this vast Body descending almost
to a Parallel with me, at less than an English Mile distance. I
took out my Pocket-Perspective, and could plainly discover
Numbers of People moving up and down the Sides of it, which
appeared to be sloping, but what those People were doing, I
was not able to distinguish.
The natural Love of Life gave me some inward Motions of
Joy, and I was ready to entertain a Hope, that this Adventure
might some Way or other help to deliver me from the desolate
Place and Condition I was in. But at the same Time the Reader
can hardly conceive my Astonishment, to behold an Island in the
Air, inhabited by Men, who were able, (as it should seem,) to
raise, or sink, or put it into a Progressive Motion, as they pleased.
But not being at that Time in a Disposition to philosophise upon
this Phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what Course the
Island would take, because it seemed for a while to stand still.
Yet soon after it advanced nearer, and I could see the Sides of
it encompassed with several Gradations of Galleries and Stairs,
at certain Intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the
lowest Gallery I beheld some People fishing with long Angling
Rods, and others looking on. I waved my Cap, (for my Hat
was long since worn out,) and my Handkerchief towards the
Island; and, upon its nearer Approach, I called and shouted
with the utmost Strength of my Voice, and then looking circumspectly, I beheld a Crowd gathered to that Side which was most




Igo90


G ULLI VER'S TRAVELS.


in my View. I found by their pointing towards me, and to each
other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no
Return to my Shouting. But I could see four or five Men
running in great Haste up the Stairs to the Top of the Island..
who then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture, that
these were sent for Orders to some Person in Authority upon
this Occasion.
The Number of People increased, and in less than half an
Hour the Island was moved and raised in such a Manner, that
the lowest Gallery appeared in a Parallel of less than an Hundred
Yards distance from the Height where I stood. I then put my
self into the most supplicating Postures, and spoke in the humblest
Accent, but received no Answer. Those who stood nearest overagainst me, seemed to be Persons of Distinction, as I supposed
by their Habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called out in a clear,
polite, smooth Dialect, not unlike in Sound to the ]talian, and
therefore I returned an Answer in that Language, hoping at least
that the Cadence might be more agreeable to his Ears. Although
neither of us understood the other, yet my Meaning was easily
known, for the People saw the Distress I was in.
They made Signs for me to come down from the Rock, and
go towards the Sloar, which I accordingly did; and the flying
Island being raised to a convenient Height, the Verge directly
over me, a Chain was let down from the lowest Gallery, with a
Seat fasten'd to the Bottom, to which I fixed my self, and was
drawn up by Pullies.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


I9r


CHAPTER II.
The Humours and Dispositions of the Laputians described. An
Account of their Learninh.  Of the King and his Court.  The
Authors Reception there.  The Inhabitants subject to Fears
and Disquieludes. An Account of the  omTllen.
AT my alighting I was surrounded by a Crowd of People; but
those who stood nearest seemed to be of better Quality.
They beheld me with all the Marks and Circumstances of Wonder;
neither, indeed, was I much in their Debt, having never till then
seen a Race of Mortals so singular in their Shapes, Habits, and
Countenances.  Their Heads were all reclined either to the
Right, or the Left; one of their Eyes turned inward, and the
other directly up to the Zenith. Their outward Garments were
adorned with the Figures of Suns, Moons, and Stars, interwoven
with those of Fiddles, Flutes, Harps, Trumpets, Guittars, Harpsicords, and many more Instruments of Musick, unknown to us
in Europe. I observed here and there many in the Habit of
Servants, with a blown Bladder fasten'd like a Flail to the End of
a short Stick, which they carried in their Hands. In each Bladder
was a small Quantity of dried Pease, or little Pebbles, (as I was
afterwards informed.) With these Bladders they now and then
flapped the Mouths and Ears of those who stood near them, of
which Practice I could not then conceive the Meaning: It seems,
the' Minds of these People are so taken up with intense Speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the Discourses
of others, without being rouzed by some external Taction upon
the Organs of Speech and Hearing; for which Reason, those
Persons who are able to afford it always keep a Flapper (the




192


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Original is Climenole) in their Family, as one of their Domesticks,
nor ever walk abroad or make Visits without him. And the
Business of this Officer is, when two or three more Persons are in
Company, gently to strike with his Bladder the Mouth of him
who is to speak, and the right Ear of him or them to whom the
Speaker addresseth himself. This Flapper is likewise employed
diligently to attend his Master in his Walks, and, upon occasion,
to give him a soft Flap on his Eyes, because he is always so
wrapped up in Cogitation, that he is in manifest Danger of falling
down every Precipice, and bouncing his Head against every Post,
and in the Streets of justling others, or being justled himself into
the Kennel.
It was necessary to give the Reader this Information, without
which he would be at the same Loss with me, to understand the
Proceedings of these People, as they conducted me up the Stairs,
to the Top of the Island, and from thence to the Royal Palace.
While we were ascending, they forgot several Times what they
were about, and left me to my self, till their Memories were again
rouzed by their Flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved
by the Sight of my foreign Habit and Countenance, and by the
Shouts of the Vulgar, whose Thoughts and Minds were more
disengaged
At last we enter'd the Palace, and proceeded into the Chamber
of Presence, where I saw the King seated on his Throne, attended
on each Side by Persons of Prime Quality. Before the Throne,
was a large Table filled with Globes and Spheres, and Mathematical Instruments of all Kinds. His Majesty took not the
least Notice of us, although our Entrance was not without sufficient
Noise, by the Concourse of all Persons belonging to the Court.
But he was then deep in a Problem, and we attended at least an
Hour, before he could solve it. There stood by him on each
Side, a young Page, with Flaps in their Hands, and when they
saw he was at Leisure, one of them gently struck his Mouth, and
the other his right Ear, at which he started like one awaked on
the sudden, and looking towards me, and the Company I was in,
recollected the Occasion of our coming, whereof he had been




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


193


informed before. He spoke some Words, whereupon immediately
a young Man with a Flap came up to my Side, and flapt me
gently on the right Ear, but I made Signs, as well as I could, that
I had no Occasion for such an Instrument; which as I afterwards
found gave his Majesty and the whole Court a very mean Opinion
of my Understanding. The King, as far as I could conjecture,
asked me several Questions, and I addressed my self to him in
all the Languages I had. When it was found, that I could neither
understand, nor be understood, I was conducted, by the King's
Order, to an Apartment in his Palace, (this Prince being distinguished above all his Predecessors for his Hospitality to Strangers,)
where two Servants were appointed to attend me. MAy Dinner
was brought, and four Persons of Quality, whom I remember'd
to have seen very near the King's Person, did me the Honour to
(line with me. We had two Courses, of three Dishes each. In
the first Course there was a Shoulder of Mutton, cut into an
FEquilateral Triangle, a Piece of Beef into a Rhomboides, and a
Pudding into a Cycloid. The second Course was two Ducks,
trussed up into the Form of Fiddles, Sausages and Puddings
resembling Flutes and Hautboys, and a Breast of Veal in the
Shape of a Harp. The Servants cut our Bread into Cones, Cylinders, Parallelograms, and several other mathematical Figures.
While we were at Dinner, I made bold to ask the Names of
several Things in their Language, and those noble Persons, by
the Assistance of their;lappers, delighted to give me Answers,
hoping to raise my Admiration of their great Abilities, if I could
be brought to converse with them. I was soon able to call for
IBread, and Drink, or whatever else I wanted.
After Dinner my Company withdrew, and a Person was sent
to me by the King's Order, attended by a FlapSfef. He brought
with him Pen, Ink, and Paper, and three or four Books, giving
me to understand by Signs, that he was sent to teach me the
Language. We sat together four Hours, in which Time I wrote
down a great Number of Words in Columns, with the Translations
over against them. I likewise made a Shift to learn several short
Sentences. For my Tutor would order one of my Servants to
N




194


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


fetch something, or turn about, to make a Bow, to sit, or stand,
or walk, and the like.  Then I took down the Sentence in
writing. He shewed me also in one of his Books, the Figures of
the Sun, Moon, and Stars, the Zodiack, the Tropics, and Polar
Circles, together with the Denominations of many Figures of
Planes and Solids. He gave me the Names and Descriptions of
all the musical Instruments, and the general Terms of Art in
playing on each of them. After he had left me, I placed all my
Words with their Interpretations in Alphabetical Order. And
thus in a few Days, by the help of a very faithful Memory, I got
some Insight into their Language.
The Word, which I interpret the Flying or Floating Island, is
in the Original Laputa, whereof I could never learn the true
Etymology. Lap in the old obsolete Language signifieth HZighk,
and Unlth a Governor, from which, they say, by Corruption, was
derived Laputa from Lapnnuhll. But I do not approve of this
Derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to
offer to the Learned among them a Conjecture of my own, that
Laputa was quasi Lap outed, Lap signifying properly the Dancing
of the Sun-Beams in the Sea, and outed a Wing; which, however,
I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious Reader.
Those to whom the King had entrusted me, observing how ill
I was clad, ordered a Taylor to come next Morning, and take my
Measure for a Suit of Clothes. This Operator did his Office
after a different manner from those of his Trade in Europe. He
first took my Altitude by a Quadrant, and then with a Rule
and Compasses, described the Dimensions and Out-lines of my
whole Body, all which he enter'd upon Paper, and in six Days
brought my Clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by
happening to mistake a Figure in the Calculation. But my Comfort was, that I observed such Accidents very frequent, and little
regarded.
During my Confinement for want of Clothes, and by an Indisposition that held me some Days longer, I much enlarged my
Dictionary; and when I went next to Court, was able to understand many Things the King spoke, and to return him some kind




-A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


i95


of Answers. His Majesty had given Orders that the Island should
move North-East and by East, to the Vertical Point over Lagado,
the Metropolis of the whole Kingdom below upon the firm Earth.
It was about ninety Leagues distant, and our Voyage lasted four
Days and an half. - I was not in the least sensible of the progressive Motion made in the Air by the Island. On the second Morning, about Eleven a-Clock, the King himself in Person, attended
by his Nobility, Courtiers, and Officers, having prepared all their
musical Instruments, played on them for three Hours without
Intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the Noise; neither!
could I possibly guess the Meaning till my Tutor informed me.
He said that the People of their Island had their Ears adapted to
hear the Musick of the Spheres, which always played at certain
Periods, and the Court was now prepared to bear their Part in'
what-ever Instrument they most excelled.                 I
In our Journey towards Lagado the capital City, his Majesty
ordered that the Island should stop over certain Towns and Villages, from whence he might receive the Petitions of his Subjects.
And to this Purpose several Packthreads were let down with small
Weights at the Bottom. On these Packthreads the People strung
their Petitions, which mounted up directly like the Scraps of
Paper fastned by School-Boys at the End of the String that holds
their Kite. Sometimes we received Wine and Victuals from below,
which were drawn up by Pullies.
The Knowledge I. had in Mathematicks gave me great Assistance in acquiring their Phraseology, which depended much upon
that Science and Musick; and in the latter I was not unskilled.
Their Ideas are perpetually conversant in Lines and Figures. If
they would, for~Example, praise the Beauty of a Woman, or any
other Animal, they describe it by Rhombs, Circles, Parallelograms,
Ellipses, and other Geometrical Terms, or by Words of Art drawn
from Musick, needless here to repeat. I observed in the King's
Kitchen all Sorts of mathematical and musical Instruments, after
the Figures of which they cut up the Joints that were served to
his Majesty's Table.
Their Houses are very ill built, the Walls bevil, without one




I96


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


Right Angle in any Apartment; and this Defect ariseth from the
Contempt they bear to practical Geometry, which they despise, as
Vulgar and Mechanick, those Instructions they give being too
refined for the Intellectuals of their Workmen; which occasions
perpetual Mistakes.  And although they are dextrous enough
upon a Piece of Paper in the Management of the Rule, the
Pencil, and the Divider, yet in the common Actions and Behaviour of Life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and
unhandy People, nor so slow and perplexed in their Conceptions
upon all other Subjects, except those of Mathematicks and Musick.
They are very bad Reasoneys, and vehemently given to Opposition, unless when they happen to be of the right Opinion, which
is seldom their Case. Imagination, Fancy, and Invention, they
are wholly Strangers to, nor have any Words in their Language
by which those Ideas can be expressed; the whole Compass of
their Thoughts and Mind being shut up within the two forementioned Sciences.
Most of them, and especially those who deal in the Astronomical Part, have great Faith in judicial Astrology, although they
are ashamed to own it publickly. But what I chiefly admired, and
thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong Disposition I
observed in them towards News and Politicks, perpetually enquiring into publick Affairs, giving their Judgments in Matters of
State, and passionately disputing every Inch of a Party Opinion.
I have indeed observed the same Disposition among most of the
Mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I could never
discover the least Analogy between the two Sciences, unless those
People suppose, that because the smallest Circle hath as many
Degrees as the largest, therefore the Regulation and Management
of the World require no more Abilities than the handling and
turning of a Globe. But, I rather take this Quality to spring from
a very common Infirmity of human Nature, inclining us to be
more curious and conceited in Matters where we have least Concern, and for which we are least adapted either by Study or. Nature.
These People are under continual Disquietudes, never enjoying




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197


a Minute's Peace of Mind; and their Disturbances proceed from
Causes which very little affect the rest of Mortals. Their Apprehensions arise from several Changes they dread in the celestial
Bodies. For Instance; That the Earth by the continual Approaches of the Sun towards it, must in Course of Time be
absorbed or swallowed up. That the Face of the Sun will, by
degrees, be encrusted with its own Effluvia, and give no more
Light to the World. That the Earth very narrowly escaped a
Brush from the Tail of the last Comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to Ashes; and that the next, which they have
calculated for one and thirty Years hence, will probably destroy
us. For, if in its Perihelion it should approach within a certain
Degree of the Sun, (as by their Calculations they have Reason to
dread,) it will conceive a Degree of Heat ten thousand times more
intense than that of red-hot glowing Iron; and in its Absence
from the Sun, carry a blazing Tail ten hundred thousand and
fourteen Miles long; tihrough which, if the Earth should pass at
the Distance of one hundred thousand Miles from the Nucleus or
main Body of the Comet, it must in its Passage be set on fire,
and reduced to Ashes. That the Sun daily spending its Rays
without any Nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly
consumed and annihilated; which must be attended with the
Destruction of this Earth, and of all the Planets that receive their
Light from it.
'Ihey are so perpetually alarmed with the Apprehensions of
these and the like impending Dangers, that they can neither
sleep quietly in their Beds, nor have any Relish for the common
Pleasures or Amusements of Life. When they meet an Acquaintance in the Morning, the first Question is about the Sun's
Health, how he looked at his Setting and Rising, and what Hopes
they have to avoid the Stroke of the approaching Comet. This
Conversation they are apt to run into with the same Temper that
Boys discover, in delighting to hear terrible Stories of Spirits and
Hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to
Bed for fear.
The Women of the Island have Abundance of Vivacity; they


9




I98


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


contemn their Husbands, and are exceedingly fond of Strangers,
whereof there is always a considerable Number from the Continent
below, attending at Court, either upon Affairs of the several
Towns and Corporations, or their own particular Occasions, but
are much despised, because they want the same Endowments.
Among these the Ladies chuse their Gallants: But the Vexation
is, that they act with too much Ease and Security, for the Husband is always so wrapt in Speculation, that the Mistress and
Lover may proceed to the greatest Familiarities before his Face,
if he be but provided with Paper and Implements, and without
his Flapper at his Side.
The Wives and Daughters lament their Confinement to the
Island, although I think it the most delicious Spot of Ground in
the World; and although they live here in the greatest Plenty
and Magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please,
they long to see the World, and take the Diversions of the
Metropolis, which they are not allowed to do without a particular
Licence from the King; and this is not easy to be obtained,
because the People of Quality have found, by frequent Experience,
how hard it is to persuade their Women to return from below.
I was told that a great Court-Lady, who had several Children, is
married to the Prime Minister, the richest Subject in the Kingdom, a very graceful Person, extremely fond of her, and lives in
the finest Palace of the Island, went down to Laeado, on the
Pretence of Health, there hid her self for several Months, till the
King sent a Warrant to search for her, and she was found in an
obscure Eating-house all in Rags, having pawned her Clothes to
maintain an old deformed Footman, who beat her every Day,
and in whose Company she was taken much against her Will.
And although her Husband received her with all possible Kindness, and without the least Reproach, she soon after contrived to
steal down again, with all her Jewels, to the same Gallant, and
hath not been heard of since.
This may, perhaps, pass with the Reader rather for an European
or Elrlis/z Story, than for one of a Country so remote: But he
may please to consider, that the Caprices of WTomenkind are not




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.                199
limited by any Climate or Nation, and that they are much more
uniform than can be easily imagined.
In about a Month's Time, I had made a tolerable Proficiency
in their Language, and was able to answer most of the King's
Questions, when I had the Honour to attend him. His Majesty
discovered not the least Curiosity to enquire into the Laws,
Government, History, Religion, or Manners of the Countries
where I had been, but confined his Questions to the State of
Mathematicks, and received the Account I gave him, with great
Contempt and Indifference, though often rouzed by his Flapper
on each Side.




200


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER III.
A  Plhcenomenon solved by modern Philosopphy and Ashtonomy.
The Laputians great Improvcmcnts in the la/ler. 7he King's
Methzod of suzjpressing Iizsurrecions.
I DESIRED leave of this Prince to see the Curiosities of the
Island, which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered
my Tutor to attend me. I chiefly wanted to know to what Cause
in Art, or in Nature, it owed its several Motions, whereof I will
now give a Philosophical Account to the Reader.
The Flying or Floating Island is exactly circular, its Diameter
7837 Yards, or about four Miles and an half, and consequently
contains ten thousand Acres. It is three hundred Yards thick.
The Bottom or under Surface, which appears to those who view
it from below, is one even regular Plate of Adamant, shooting up
to the Height of about two hundred Yards. Above it lie the
several Minerals in their usual Order, and over all is a Coat of
rich Mould ten or twelve Foot deep. This Declivity of the upper
Surface, from the Circumference to the Center, is the natural
Cause why all the Dews and Rains which fall upon the Island,
are conveyed in small Rivulets towards the Middle, where they
are emptied into four large Basons, each of about half a Mile in
Circuit, and two hundred Yards distant from the Center. From
these Basons the Water is continually exhaled by the Sun in the
Day-time, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides,
as it is in the Power of the Monarch to raise the Island above
the Region of Clouds and Vapours, he can prevent the falling
of Dews and Rains when ever he pleases: For the highest Clouds
cannot rise above two Miles, as Naturalists agree, at least they
were never known to do in that Country.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


20I


At the Center of the Island there is a Chasm about fifty Yards
in Diameter, from whence the Astronomers descend into a large
Dome, which is therefore called Flandona Gatgnole, or the Astronomers Cave, situated at the Depth of a hundred Yards beneath
the upper Surface of the Adamant.  In this Cave are twenty
Lamps continually Burning, which frqm the Reflection of the
Adamant cast a strong 'ight into I  y Part. The Place is
stored with great Variety of Sextants, Quadrants, Telescopes,
Astrolabes, and other Astronomical Instruments. But the greatest
Curiosity, upon which the Fate of the Island depends, is a Loadstone of a prodigious Size, in Shape resembling a Weaver's Shuttle.
It is in Length six Yards, and in the thickest Part at least three
Yards over. This Magnet is sustained by a very strong Axle of
Adamant passing through its Middle, upon which it plays, and is
poized so exactly that the weakest Hand can turn it. It is hooped
round with an hollow Cylinder of Adamant, four Foot deep, as
many thick, and twelve Yards in Diameter, placed Horizontally,
and supported by eight Adamantine Feet, each six Yards high.
In the Middle of the Concave Side there is a Groove twelve Inches
deep, in which the Extremities of the Axle are lodged, and turned
round as there is Occasion.
The Stone cannot be moved from its Place by any Force,
because the Hoop and its Feet are one continued Piece with that
Body of Adamant, which constitutes the Bottom of the Island.
By Means of this Load-stone, the Island is made to rise and
fall, and move from one Place to another. For, with Respect to
that Part of the Earth over which the Monarch presides, the
Stone is endued at one of its Sides with an attractive Power, and
at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the Magnet erect
with its attracting End towards the Earth, the Island descends;
but when the repelling Extremity points downwards, the Island
mounts directly upwards.  When the Position of the Stone is
oblique, the Motion of the Island is so too. For in this Magnet
the Forces always act in Lines parallel to its Direction.
By this oblique Motion the Island is conveyed to different
Parts of the Monarch's Dominions. To explain the manner of




202


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


its Progress, let A B represent a Line drawn cross the Dominions
of Balnibarbi, let the Line c d represent the Load-stone, of which
let d be the repelling End, and c the attracting End; the Island
being over C, let the Stone be placed in the Position c d, with its
repelling End downwards, then the Island will be driven upwards
obliquely towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the Stone be
turned upon its Axle till its attracting End points towards E, and
then the Island will be carried obliquely towards E; where, if the
Stone be again turned upon its Axle till it stands in the Position
E F, with its repelling Point downwards, the Island will rise
obliquely towards F; where, by directing the attracting End
towards G, the Island may be carried to G, and from G to 7,
by turning the Stone, so as to make its repelling Extremity point
directly downwards. And thus by changing the Situation of the
Stone as often as there is Occasion, the Island is made to rise
and fall by Turns in an oblique Direction; and by those alternate
Risings and Fallings (the Obliquity being not considerable) is
conveyed from one Part of the Dominions to the other.
But it must be observed, that this Island cannot move beyond
the Extent of the Dominions below, nor can it rise above the
Height of four Miles. For which the Astronomers (who have
written large Systems concerning the Stone) assign the following
Reason; That the magnetick Virtue does not extend beyond the
Distance of four Miles, and that the Mineral which acts upon
the Stone in the Bowels of the Earth, and in the Sea about six
Leagues distant from the Shoar, is not diffused through the whole
Globe, but terminated with the Limits of the King's Dominions;
and it was easy from the great Advantage of such a superior
Situation, for a Prince to bring under his Obedience whatever
Country lay within the Attraction of that Magnet.
When the Stone is put parallel to the Plane of the Horizon,
the Island standeth still; for in that Case, the Extremities of it
being at equal Distance from the Earth, act with equal Force, the
one in drawing downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and
consequently no Motion can ensue.
This ILoadstone is under the Care of certain Astronomers, who




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


203


from Time to Time give it such Positions as the Monarch directs.
They spend the greatest Part of their Lives in observing the celestial Bodies, which they do by the Assistance of Glasses far excelling ours in Goodness. For this Advantage hath enabled them
to extend the Discoveries much farther than our Astronomers in
Europe; for they have made a Catalogue of ten thousand fixed
Stars; whereas the largest of ours do not contain above one third
Part of that Number. They have likewise discovered two lesser
Stars, or Safellites, which revolve about Jlars, whereof the innermost is distant from the Center of the primary Planet exactly
three of his Diameters, and the outermost five; the former
revolves in the Space of ten Hours, and the latter in twenty one
and an half; so that the Squares of their periodical Times are
very near in the same Proportion with the Cubes of theii Distance
from the Center of 2Mars, which evidently shews them to be
governed by the same Law of Gravitation, that influences the
other Heavenly Bodies.
They have observed ninety three different Comets, and settled
their Periods with great Exactness. If this be true, (and they
affirm it with great Confidence,) it is much to be wished that
their Observations were made publick, whereby the Theory of
Comets, which at present is very lame and defective, might be
brought to the same Perfection with other Parts of Astronomy.
The King would be the most absolute Prince in the Universe,
if he could but prevail on a Ministry to join with him; but these
having their Estates below on the Continent, and considering
that the Office of a Favourite hath a very uncertain Tenure,
would never consent to the enslaving their Country.
If any Town should engage in Rebellion or Mutiny, fall into
violent Factions, or refuse to pay the usual Tribute, the King
hath two Methods of reducing them to Obedience. The first
and the mildest Course is by keeping the Island hovering over
such a Town, and the Lands about it, whereby he can deprive
them of the Benefit of the Sun and the Rain, and consequently
afflict the Inhabitants with Death and Diseases. And if the
Crime deserve it, they are at the same Time pelted from above




204


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


with great Stones, against which they have no Defence but by
creeping into Cellars or Caves, while the Roofs of their Houses
are beaten to Pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or
offer to raise Insurrections, he proceeds to the last Remedy, by
letting the Island drop directly upon their Heads, which makes
a universal Destruction both of Houses and Men. However,
this is an Extremity to which the Prince is seldom driven, neither
indeed is he willing to put it in Execution, nor dare his Ministers
advise him to an Action, which, as it would render them odious
to the People, so it would be a great Damage to their own
Estates, which lie all below, for the Island is the King's Demesn.
But there is still indeed a more weighty Reason, why the Kings
of this Country have been always averse from executing so terrible
an Action, unless upon the utmost Necessity. For if the Town
intended to be destroyed should have in it any tall Rocks, as it
generally falls out in the larger Cities, a Situation probably chosen
at first with a View to prevent such a Catastrophe; or if it abound
in high Spires or Pillars of Stone, a sudden Fall might endanger
the Bottom or Under-surface of the Island, which, although it
consists, as I have said, of one entire Adamant two hundred
Yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a Choque, or
burst by approaching too near the Fires from the Houses below,
as the Backs both of Iron and Stone will often do in our Chimneys. Of all this the People are well apprized, and understand
how far to carry their Obstinacy, where their Liberty or Property
is concerned. And the King, when he is the highest provoked,
and most determined to press a City to Rubbish, orders the
Island to descend with great Gentleness, out of a Pretence of
Tenderness to his People, but indeed for fear of breaking the
Adamantine Bottom; in which Case, it is the Opinion of all
their Philosophers, that the Load-stone could no longer hold it
up, and the whole Mass would fall to the Ground.
By a fundamental Law of this Realm, neither the King, n:r
either of his two elder Sons, are permitted to leave the Island;
nor the Queen, till she is past Child-bearing.








?lat~ r1f.?art.1I_.


BALNIBARBI


[face Pt. IIl, J. 205




A YOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


205


CHAPTER IV.
The Author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi,'arrives at the
Mletropolis. A Description of the Metropolis, and the Country
adjoining.  ihe Author hospitably receivcd by a great Lord.
His Conversation with that Lord.
ALTHOUGH        I cannot say that I was ill-treated in this
Island, yet I must confess I thought my self too much
neglected, not without some Degree of Contempt. For neither
Prince nor People appeared to be curious in any Part of Knowledge, except Mathematicks and Musick, wherein I was far their
Inferior, and upon that Account very little regarded.
On the other Side, after having seen all the Curiosities of the
Island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of
those People. They were indeed excellent for two Sciences for
which I have great Esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but
at the same Time, so abstracted and involved in Speculation, that
I never met with such disagreeable Companions. I convers'd
only with Women, Tradesmen, rlappers, and Court-Pages, during
two Months of my Abode here, by which, at last, I render'd my
self extremely contemptible; yet these were the only People from
whom I could ever receive a reasonable Answer.
I had obtained, by hard Study, a good Degree of Knowledge
in their Language; I was weary of being confined to an Island
where I received so little Countenance, and resolved to leave it
with the first Opportunity.
There was a great Lord at Court, nearly related to the King,
and for that Reason alone used with Respect. He was universally reckoned the most ignorant and stupid Person among them.




I


206              GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
He had performed many eminent Services for the Crown, had
great natural and acquired Parts, adorned with Integrity and
Honour, but so ill an Ear for Musick, that his Detractors reported he had been often known to beat Time in the wrong
Place; neither could his Tutors, without extreme Difficulty, teach
him to demonstrate the most easy Proposition in the Mathematicks. He was pleased to shew me many Marks of Favour, often
did me the Honour of a Visit, desired to be informed in the
Affairs of Europoe, the Laws and Customs, the Manners and
Learning, of the Several Countries where I had travelled. He
listned to me with great Attention, and made very wise Observations on all I spoke. He had two Flappers attending him for
State, but never made use of them except at Court, and in Visits
of Ceremony, and would always command them to withdraw
when we were alone together.
I intreated this illustrious Person to intercede in my Behalf
with his Majesty for Leave to depart, which he accordingly did,
as he was pleased to tell me, with Regret: For, indeed he had
made me several Offers very advantageous, which however I
refused with Expressions of the highest Acknowledgment.
On the i6th Day of February I took Leave of his Majesty and
the Court. The King made me a Present to the Value of about
two hundred Pounds English, and my Protector his Kinsman as
much more, together with a Letter of Recommendation to a
Friend of his in Lagado, the Metropolis: The Island being then
hovering over a Mountain about two Miles from it, I was let
down from the lowest Gallery, in the same manner as I had been
taken up.
The Continent, as far as it is subject to the Monarch of the
Flying Island, passes under the general Name of Balnibarbi, and
the Metropolis, as I said before, is called Lagado. I felt some
little Satisfaction in finding my self on firm Ground. I walked
to the City without any Concern, being clad like one of the
Natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I
soon found out the Person's House to whom I was recommended,
presented my Letter from his Friend the Grandee in the Island,




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207


and was received with much Kindness. This great Lord, whose
Name was Mftuodi, ordered me an Apartment in his own House,
where I continued during my Stay, and was entertained in a most
hospitable Manner.
The next Morning after my Arrival, he took me in his Chariot
to see the Town, which is about half the Bigness of London, but
the Houses very strangely built, and most of them out of Repair.
The People in the Streets walked fast, looked wild, their Eyes
fixed, and were generally in Rags. WFe passed through one of
the Town-Gates, and went about three Miles into the Country,
where I saw many Labourers working with several sorts of Tools
in the Ground, but was not able to conjecture what they were
about; neither did I observe any Expectation either of Corn or
Grass, although the Soil appeared to be excellent. I could not
forbear admiring at these odd Appearances both in Town and
Country, and I made bold to desire my Conductor, that he would
be pleased to explain to me what could be meant by so many
busy Heads, Hands, and Faces, both in the Streets and the
Fields, because I did not discover any good Effects they produced; but on the contrary, I never knew a Soil so unhappily
cultivated, Houses so ill contrived, and so ruinous, or a People
whose Countenances and Habit expressed so much Misery and
Want.
This Lord Miznodi was a Person of the first Rank, and had
been some Years Governor of Lagado; but by a Cabal of Ministers
was discharged for Insufficiency.  However, the King treated
him with Tenderness, as a well-meaning Man, but of a low contemptible Understanding.
When I gave that free Censure of the Country, and its Inhabitants, he made no further Answer than by telling me, that I
had not been long enough among them to form a Judgment; and
that the different Nations of the World had different Customs,
with other common Topicks to the same Purpose. But when
we returned to his Palace, he asked me how I liked the Building,
what Absurdities I observed, and what Quarrel I had with the
Dress and Looks of his Domesticks. This he might safely do,




208


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


because every Thing about him was magnificent, regular, and
polite. I answered, that his Excellency's Prudence, Quality, and
Fortune, had exempted him from those Defects which Folly and
Beggary had produced in others. He said, if I would go with
him to his Country House about twenty Miles distant, where his
Estate lay, there would be more Leisure for this kind of Conversation. I told his Excellency that I was entirely at his Disposal;
and accordingly we set out next Morning.
During our Journey, he made me observe the several Methods
used by Farmers in managing their Lands, which to me were
wholly unaccountable; for, except in some very few Places, I
could not discover one Ear of Corn or Blade of Grass. But, in
three Hours travelling, the Scene was wholly altered; we came
into a most beautiful Country; Farmers Houses at small Distances,
neatly built; the Fields enclosed, containing Vineyards, Corngrounds and Meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a
more delightful Prospect. His Excellency observed my Countenance to clear up; he told me, with a Sigh, that there his
Estate began, and would continue the same till we should come
to his House; that his Countrymen ridicul'd and despis'd him
for managing his Affairs no better, and for setting so ill an
Example to the Kingdom, which however was followed by very
few, such as were old, and wilful, and weak, like himself.
We came at length to the House; which was indeed a noble
Structure, built according to the best Rules of Ancient Architecture. The Fountains, Gardens, Walks, Avenues, and Groves,
were all disposed with exact Judgment and Taste. I gave due
Praises to every Thing I saw; whereof his Excellency took not
the least Notice till after Supper, when, there being no third
Companion, he told me, with a very melancholy Air, that he
doubted he must throw down his Houses in Town and Country,
to rebuild them after the present Mode, destroy all his Plantations,
and cast others in such a Form as modern Usage required, and
give the same Directions to all his Tenants, unless he would
submit to incur the Censure of Pride, Singularity, Affectation, Ignorance, Caprice, and perhaps increase his Majesty's Displeasure,




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209


That the Admiration I appeared to be under, would cease or
diminish, when he had informed me of some Particulars which,
probably, I never heard of at Court, the People there being too
much taken up in their own Speculations, to have Regard to
what passed here below.
The Sum of his Discourse was to this Effect.  That about
forty Years ago, certain Persons went up to Laputa, either upon
Business or Diversion, and after five Months Continuance, came
back with a very little Smattering in Mathematicks, but full of
Volatile Spirits acquired in that airy Region. That these Persons
upon their Return began to dislike the Management of every
Thing below, and fell into Schemes of putting all Arts, Sciences,
Languages, and Mechanicks upon a new Foot. To this End,
they procured a Royal Patent for erecting an Academy of PROJECTORS in Lagado; and the Humour prevailed so strongly among
the People, that there is not a Town of any Consequence in the
Kingdom without such an Academy. In these Colleges, the
Professors contrive new Rules and Methods of Agriculture and
Building, and new Instruments and Tools for all Trades and
Manufactures, whereby, as they undertake, one Man shall do the
Work of ten; a Palace may be built in a Week, of Materials so
durable as to last for ever, without repairing; all the Fruits of the
Earth shall come to Maturity at whatever Season we think fit to
chuse, and increase an hundred Fold more than they do at
present, with innumerable other happy Proposals. The only
Inconvenience is, that none of these Projects are yet brought to
Perfection, and in the mean time the whole Country lies miserably
waste, the Houses in Ruins, and the People without Food or
Clothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are
fifty times more violently bent upon prosecuting their Schemes,
driven equally on by Hope and Despair: That as for himself,
being not of an enterprizing Spirit, he was content to go on in
the old Forms, to live in the Houses his Ancestors had built, and
act as they did in every Part of Life without Innovation: That,
some few other Persons of Quality and Gentry had done the
same, but were looked on with an Eye of Contempt and ill Will,
o




210


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


as Enemies to Art, ignorant and ill Commonwealthsmen, preferring their own Ease and Sloth before the general Improvement
of their Country.
His Lordship added, that he would not by any further Particulars prevent the Pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the
Grand Academy, whither he was resolved I should go. He only
desired me to observe a ruined Building upon the Side of a
Mountain about three Miles distant, of which he gave me this
Account: That he had a very convenient Mill within half a Mile
of his House, turned by a Current from a large River, and
sufficient for his own Family, as well as a great Number of his
Tenants: That, about seven Years ago, a Club of those Projectors
came to him with Proposals to destroy this Mill, and build
another on the Side of that Mountain, on the long Ridge whereof
a long Canal must be cut ior a Repository of Water, to be
conveyed up by Pipes and Engines to supply the Mill: Because
the Wind and Air upon a Height agitated the Water, and thereby
made it fitter for Motion: And because the Water descending
down a Declivity, would turn the Mill with half the Current of a
River whose Course is more upon a Level. He said, that being
then not very well with the Court, and pressed by many of his
Friends, he complied with the Proposal; and, after employing an
ihundred Men for two Years, the Work miscarried, the Projectors
went off, laying the Blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever
since, and putting others upon the same Experiment, with equal
Assurance of Success, as well as equal Disappointment.
In a few Days we came back to Town, and his Excellency,
considering the bad Character he had in the Academy, would not
go with me himself, but recommended me to a Friend of his to
bear me Company thither. My Lord was pleased to represent
me as a great Admirer of Projects, and a Person of much Curiosity
and easy Belief; which, indeed, was not without Truth, for I had
my self been a sort of a Projector in my younger Days.




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211


CHAPTER V.
The Author permwitted to see the Grand Academy of Lagado.
The Academy largely described.  The Arts wherein the Professors enmploy themselves.
THIS Academy is not an entire single Building, but a Continuation of several Houses on both Sides of a Street, which
growing waste was purchased and applied to that Use.
I was received very kindly by the Warden, and went for many
Days to the Academy. Every Room hath in it one or more
Projectors, and I believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred Rooms.
The first Man I saw was of a meager Aspect, with sooty Hands
and Face, his Hair and Beard long, ragged and singed in several
Places: His Clothes, Shirt, and Skin, were all of the same
Colour. He had been eight Years upon a Project for extracting
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers, which were to be put into Vials
hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the Air in raw inclement
Summers. He told me, he did not doubt in eight Years more,
he should be able to supply the Governor's Gardens with Sunshine at a reasonable Rate; but he complained that his Stock was
low, and entreated me to give him something as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear
Season for Cucumbers. I made him a small Present, for my
Lord had furnished me with Money on purpose, because he knew
their Practice of begging from all who go to see them.
I went into another Chamber, but was ready to hasten back,
being almost overcome with a horrible Stink. My Conductor
pressed me forward, conjuring me, in a Whisper, to give no




212


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Offence, which would be highly resented, and therefore I durst
not so much as stop my Nose. The Projector of this Cell was
the most ancient Student of the Academy: His Face and Beard
were of a pale Yellow; his Hands and Clothes dawbed over with
Filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a very close
Embrace, (a Compliment I could well have excused.)  His Employment from his first coming into the Academy, was an Operation to reduce human Excrement to its original Food, by separating the several Parts, removing the Tincture which it receives
from the Gall, making the Odour exhale, and scumming off the
Saliva. He had a weekly Allowance from  the Society, of a
Vessel filled with Human Ordure, about the Bigness of a Brisfol
Barrel.
I saw another at work to calcine Ice into Gun-Powder, who
likewise shewed me a Treatise he had written concerning the
Malleability of Fire, which he intended to publish.
There was a most ingenious Architect who had contrived a
new Method for building Houses, by beginning at the Roof and
working downwards to the Foundation, which he justified to me
by the like Practice of those two prudent Insects the Bee and
the Spider.
There was a Man born blind, who had several Apprentices in
his own Condition: Their Employment was to mix Colours for
Painters, which their Master taught them to distinguish by feeling
and smelling. It was indeed my Misfortune to find them at that
time not very perfect in their Lessons, and the Professor himself
happened to be generally mistaken: This Artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole Fraternity.
In another Apartment I was highly pleased with a Projector,
who had found a Device of Plowing the Ground with Hogs, to
save the Charges of Plows, Cattle ai.d Labour. The Method is
this; In an Acre of Ground you bury at six Inches distance, and
eight deep, a quantity of Acorns, Dates, Chesnuts, and other
Maste or Vegetables whereof these Animals are fondest: then
you drive six hundred or more of them into the Field, where in a
few Days they will root up the whole Ground in search of their




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213


Food, and make it fit for Sowing, at the same time manuring it
with their Dung; it is true upon Experiment they found the
Charge and Trouble very great, and they had little or no Crop.
However, it is not doubted that this Invention may be capable of
great Improvement.
I went into another Room, where the Walls and Ceiling were
all hung round with Cobwebs, except a narrow Passage for the
Artist to go in and out. At my Entrance he called aloud to me
not to disturb his Webs.  He lamented the fatal Mistake the
World had been so long in of using Silk-Worms, while we had
such plenty of Domestick Insects, who infinitely excelled the
former, because they understood how to weave as well as spin.
And he proposed farther, that by employing Spiders, the Charge
of dying Silks should be wholly saved, whereof I was fully convinced when lie shewed me a vast number of Flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he fed his Spiders, assuring us, that the
Webs would take a Tincture from them; and as he had them of
all Hues, he hoped to fit every body's Fancy, as soon as he could
find proper Food for the Flys, of certain Gums, Oyls, and other
glutinous Matter to give *a Strength and Consistence to the
Threads.
There was an Astronomer who had undertaken to place a SunDial upon the great Weather-cock on the Town-House by adjusting the annual and diurnal Motions of the Earth and Sun, so as
to answer and coincide with all accidental Turnings by the Wind.
I was complaining of a small Fit of the Cholick, upon which
my Conductor led me into a Room, where a great Physician
resided, who was famous for curing that Disease by contrary
Operations from the same Instrument. He had a large pair of
Bellows with a long slender Muzzle of Ivory. This lie conveyed
eight Inches up the Anus, and drawing in the Wind, he affirmed
he could make the Guts as lank as a dried Bladder. But when
the Disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the Muzzle
while the Bellows were full of Wind, which he discharged into
the Body of the Patient, then withdrew the Instrument to replenish
it, clapping his Thumb strongly against the Orifice of the Funda



214


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


nent; and this being repeated three or four times, the adventitious
Wind would rush out, bringing the noxious along with it (like
Water put into a Pump) and the Patient recover. I saw him try
both Experiments upon a Dog, but could not discern any Effect
from the former. After the latter, the Animal was ready to burst,
and made so violent a Discharge, as was very offensive to me and
my Companions. The Dog died on the Spot, and we left the
Doctor endeavouring to recover him by the same Operation.
I visited many other Apartments, but shall not trouble my
Reader with all the Curiosities I observed, being studious of
Brevity.
I had hitherto seen only one side of the Academy, the other
being appropriated to the Advancers of speculative Learning, of
whom I shall say something when I have mentioned one illustrious Person more, who is called among them the universal Artist.
He told us he had been thirty Years employing his Thoughts for
the Improvement of human Life. He had two large Rooms full
of wonderful Curiosities, and fifty Men at work. Some were
condensing Air into a dry tangible Substance, by extracting the
Nitre, and letting the Aqueous or fluid Particles percolate; others
softening Marble for Pillows and Pincushions; others petrifying
the Hoofs of a living Horse to preserve them from foundring.
The Artist himself was at that time busy upon two great Designs;
the first to sow Land with Chaff, wherein he affirmed the true
seminal Virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several
Experiments which I was not skilful enough to comprehend.
The other was, by a certain Composition of Gums, Minerals, and
Vegetables outwardly applied, to prevent the Growth of Wool
upon two young Lambs; and he hoped in a reasonable time to,v it -  propagate the Breed of naked Sheep all over the Kingdom.
We crossed a Walk to the other part of the Academy, where,
as I have already said, the Projector in speculative Learning
resided.
The first Professor I saw was in a very large Room, with forty
Pupils about him. After Salutation, observing me to look earnestly
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A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


215


and Breadth of the Room, he said perhaps I migilt wonder to
see him employed in a Project for improving speculative Knowledge by practical and mechanical Operations. But the World
would soon be sensible of its Usefulness, and he flattered himself
that a more noble exalted Thought never sprung in any other
Man's Head. Every one knew how laborious the usual Method is
of attaining to Arts and Sciences; whereas by his Contrivance, tile
most ignorant Person at a reasonable Charge, and with a little bodily
Labour, may write both in Philosophy, Poetry, Politicks, Law,
Mathematicks and Theology, without the least Assistance from
Genius or Study. He then led me to the Frame, about the sides
whereof all his Pupils stood in Ranks. It was twenty Foot Square,
placed in the middle of the Room. The Superficies was composed of several bits of Wood, about the bigness of a Dye, but
some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender
Wires. These bits of Wood were covered on every Square with
Paper pasted on them, and on these Papers were written all the
Words of their Language in their several Moods, Tenses, and
Declensions, but without any Order. The Professor then desired
me to observe, for he was going to set his Engine at Work. The
Pupils at his Command took each of them hold of an Iron Handle,
whereof there were fourty fixed round the Edges of the Frame, and
giving them a sudden turn, the whole Disposition of the Words
was entirely changed. He then commanded six and thirty of the
Lads to read the several Lines softly as they appeared upon the
Frame; and where they found three or four Words together that
might make part of a Sentence, they dictated to the four remaining Boys who were Scribes. This Work was repeated three or four
times, and at every turn the Engine was so contrived, that the
Words shifted into new Places, or the square bits of Wood moved
upside down.
Six Hours a-day the young Students were employed in this
Labour, and the Professor shewed me several Volumes in large
Folio already collected, of broken Sentences, which he intended
to piece together, and out of those rich Materials to give the
world a compleat Body of all Arts and Sciences; which however




2I6


GULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


might be still improved, and much expedited, if the Publick would
raise a Fund for making and employing five hundred such Frames
in L-agado, and oblige the Managers to contribute in common
their several Collections.
He assured me, that this Invention had employed all his
Thoughts from his Youth, that he had employed the whole Vocabulary into his Frame, and made the strictest Computation of the
general Proportion there is in the Book between the Numbers of
Particles, Nouns, and Verbs, and other Parts of Speech.
I made my humblest Acknowledgment to this illustrious Person
for his great Communicativeness, and promised if ever I had the
good Fortune to return to my Native Country, that I would do
him Justice, as the sole Inventer of this wonderful Machine; the
Form and Contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate upon
Paper as in the Figure here annexed. I told him, although it were
the Custom of our Learned in Euro.pe to steal Inventions from
each other, who had thereby at least this Advantage, that it became
a Controversy which was the right Owner, yet I would take such
Caution, that he should have the Honour entire without a Rival.
We next went to the School of Language, where three Professors sate in Consultation upon improving that of their own
country.
The first Project was to shorten Discourse by cutting Polysyllables into one, and leaving out Verbs and Participles, because
in reality all things imaginable are but Nouns.
The other was a Scheme for entirely abolishing all Words whatsoever; and this was urged as a great Advantage in point of
Health as well as Brevity. For it is plain, that every Word we
speak is in some Degree a Diminution of our Lungs by Corrosion,
and consequently contributes to the shortning of our Lives. An
Expedient was therefore offered, that since Words are only Names
for Things, it would be more convenient for all Men to carry
about them, such Things as were necessary to express the particular Business they are to discourse on.  And this Invention
would certainly have taken Place, to the great Ease as well as
Health of the Subject, if the Wl'omen in conjunction with the




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


217    t


Vulgar and Illiterate had not threatned to raise a Rebellion,
unless they might be allowed the Liberty to speak with their
Tongues, after the manner of their Ancestors; such constant irreconcilable Enemies to Science are the common People. However, many of the most Learned and Wise adhere to the New
Scheme of expressing themselves by 7itings, which hath only this
Inconvenience attending it, that if a Man's Business be very
great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged in Proportion to
carry a great Bundle of T/hings upon his Back, unless he can
afford one or two.strong Servants to attend him. I have often
beheld two of those Sages almost sinking under the Weight of
their Packs, like Pedlers among us; who when they meet in the
Streets would lay down their Loads, open their Saddles, and hold
Conversation for an Hour together; then put up their Implements,
help each other to resume their Burthens, and take their Leave.
But for short Conversations a Man may carry Implements in
his Pockets and under his Arms, enough to supply him, and in
his House he cannot be at a loss: Therefore the Room where
Company meet who practise this Art, is full of all Things ready
at Hand, requisite to furnish Matter of this kind of artificial
Converse.
Another great Advantage proposed by this Invention, was that
it would serve as an Universal Language to be understood in all
civilized Nations, whose Goods and Utensils are generally of the
same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their Uses might easily
be comprehended. And the Embassadors would be qualified to
treat with foreign Princes or Ministers of State to whose Tongues
they were utter Strangers.
I was at the Mathematical School, where the Master taught his
Pupils after a Method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The
Proposition and Demonstration were fairly written on a thin Wafer,
with Ink composed of a Cephalick Tincture. This the Student
was to swallow upon a fasting Stomach, and for three Days following eat nothing but Bread and Water. As the Wafer digested,
the Tincture mounted to his Brain, bearing the Proposition along
with it.  But the Success hath not hitherto been answerable,




2I8              G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
partly by some Error in the Qzanzim or Composition, and partly
by the Perverseness of Lads, to whom this Bolus is so nauseous
that they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards before it
can operate, neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long
an Abstinence, as the Prescription requires.




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219


CHAPTER VI.
A further Account of the AcademTy.  Thle Autlor prooses some
Imnprovements which are honourably received.
N the School of Political Projectors I was but ill entertained,
the Professors appearing in my Judgment wholly out of their
Senses, which is a Scene that never fails to make me melancholy.
These unhappy People were proposing Schemes for persuading
Monarchs to chuse Favourites upon the Score of their Wisdom,
Capacity and Virtue; of teaching Ministers to consult the Publick
Good; of rewarding Merit, great Abilities, and eminent Services;
of instructing Princes to know their true Interest by placing it on
the same Foundation with that of their People: Of chusing for
Employments Persons qualified to exercise them; with many
other wild impossible Chimaeras, that never entred before into
the heart of Man to conceive, and confirmed in me the old
Observation, that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational
which some Philosophers have not maintained for Truth.
But, however I shall so far do Justice to this Part of the
Academy, as to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most Ingenious Doctor who seemed to be
perfectly versed in the whole Nature and System of Government.
This illustrious Person had very usefully employed his Studies in
finding out effectual Remedys for all Diseases and Corruptions, to
which the several kinds of publick Administration are subject by
the Vices or Infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the
Licentiousness of those who are to obey. For instance; whereas
all Writers and Reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal Resemblance between the Natural and the Political Body;




220


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


can there be any thing more evident, than that the Health of
both must be preserved, and the Diseases cured by the same
Prescription? It is allowed, that Senates and great Councils
are often troubled with redundent, ebullient, and other pecant
Humours, with many Diseases of the Head and more of the
Heart; with strong Convulsions, with grievous Contractions of
the Nerves and Sinews in both Hands, but especially the Right:
With Spleen, Flatus, Vertigos and Deliriums; with Scrophulous
Tumours full of fretid purulent Matter; with sower, frothy
Ructations, with Canine Appetites and crudeness of Digestion,
besides many others needless to mention. This Doctor therefore
proposed, that upon the Meeting of a Senate, certain Physicians
should attend at the three first Days of their sitting, and at the
Close of each day's Debate, feel the Pulses of every Senator;
after which having maturely considered, and consulted upon
the Nature of the several Maladies, and the method of Cure,
they should on the fourth Day return to the Senate House,
attended by their Apothecaries stored with proper Medicines,
and before the Members sate, administer to each of them Lenatives, Aperitives, Abstersives, Currosives, Restringents,. Palliatives, Laxatives, Cephalalgicks, Ictericks, Apophlegmaticks, Acousticks, as their several Cases required,. and according as these
Medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them at the
next Meeting.
This Project could not be of any great Expence to the Publick,
and would in my poor Opinion, be of much Use for the Dispatch of Business in those Countries where Senates have any
share in the Legislative Power, beget Unanimity, shorten Debates,
open a few Mouths which are now closed, and close many more
which are now open; curb the Petulancy of the Young, and
correct the Positivness of the Old; rouze the Stupid, and damp
the Pert.
Again, Because it is a general Complaint that the Favourites
of Princes are troubled with short and weak Memories; the same
Doctor proposed, that whoever attended a First Minister, after
having told his business with the utmost Brevity, and in the




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


221


plainest Words; should at his Departure give the said Minister
a Tweak by the Nose, or a kick in the Belly, or tread on his
Corns, or lug him thrice by both Ears, or run a Pin into his
Breech, or pinch his Arm black and blew, to prevent Forgetfulness: and at every Levee Day repeat the same Operation, till
the Business were done or absolutely refused.
He likewise directed, that every Senator in the great Council
of a Nation, after he had delivered his Opinion, and argued in
the Defence of it, should be obliged to give his Vote directly
contrary; because if that were done, the Result would infallibly
terminate in the Good of the Publick.
When Parties in a State are violent, he offered a wonderful
Contrivance to reconcile them. The Method is this. You take
an Hundred Leaders of each Party, you dispose of them into
Couples of such whose Heads are nearest of a size; then let two
nice Operators saw off the Occiput of each Couple at the same
time, in such a manner that the Brain may be equally divided.
Let the Occiputs thus cut off be interchanged, applying each to
the Head of his opposite Party-man. It seems indeed to be a
Work that requireth some exactness, but the Professor assured us,
that if it were dextrously performed, the Cure would be infallible.
For he argued thus; that the two half Brains being left to debate
the Matter between themselves within the space of one Scull,
would soon come to a good Understanding, and produce that
Moderation as well as Regularity of Thinking, so much to be
wished for in the Heads of those, who imagine they come into
the World only to watch and govern its Motion: And as to the
difference of Brains in Quantity or Quality, among those who are
Directors in Faction; the Doctor assured us from his own knowledge, that it was a perfect Trifle.
I heard a very warm Debate between two Professors, about the
most commodious and effectual Ways and Means of raising money
without grieving the Subject. The first affirmed the justest Method
would be to lay a certain Tax upon Vices and Folly, and the Sum
fixed upon every Man, to be rated after the fairest manner by a
Jury of his Neighbours. The second was of an Opinion directly




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contrary, to tax those Qualities of Body and Mind for which
Men chiefly value themselves, the Rate to be more or less according to the Degrees of excelling, the decision whereof should
be left entirely to their own Breast. The highest Tax was upon
Men, who are the greatest Favourites of the other Sex, and the
Assessments according to the Number and Natures of the Favours
they have received; for which they are allowed to be their own
Vouchers. Wit, Valour, and Politeness were likewise proposed to
be largely taxed and collected in the same manner, by every
Persons giving his own Word for the Qantum of what he possessed.
But as to Honour, Justice, Wisdom and Learning, they should
not be taxed at all, because they are Qualifications of so singular
a kind, that no Man will either allow them in his Neighbour, or
value them in himself.
The Women were proposed to be taxed according to their
Beauty and skill in Dressing, wherein they had the same
Priviledge with the Men, to be determined by their own Judgment. But Constancy, Chastity, good Sense, and good Nature
were not rated, because they would not bear the Charge of
Collecting.
To keep Senators in the Interest of the Crown, it was proposed
that the Members should raffle for Employments, every Man first
taking an Oath, and giving Security that he would Vote for the
Court, whether he won or no, after which the Losers had in their
Turn the liberty of Raffling upon the next Vacancy. Thus Hope
and Expectation would be kept alive, none would complain of
broken Promises, but impute their disappointments wholly to
Fortune, whose Shoulders are broader and stronger than those of
a Ministry.
Another Professor shewed me a large Paper of Instructions for
discovering Plots and Conspiracies against the Governments. He
advised great Statesmen to examine into the Dyet of all suspected
Persons; their times of eating; upon which side they lay in Bed;
with which hand they wiped their Posteriors; take a strict View
of their xcrements, and from the Colour, the Odour, the Taste,
the Consistence, the Crudeness, or Maturity of Digestion form a




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223


Judgment of their Thoughts and Designs. Because Men are
never so Serious, Thoughtful, and Intent, as when they are at
Stool, which he found by frequent Experiment: For in such
Conjunctures, when he used meerly as. a Trial to consider which
was the best way of murdering the King, his Ordure would have
A Tinture of Green, but quite different when he thought only of
raising an Insurrection or burning the Metropolis.
The whole Discourse was written with great Acuteness, containing many Observations both curious and useful for Politicians,
but as I conceived not altogether compleat. This I ventured to
tell the -Author, and offered if he pleased to supply him with some
Additions. He received my Proposition with more Compliance
than is usual among Writers, especially those of the projecting
Species, professing he would be glad to receive farther Information.
I told him, that should I happen to live in a Kingdom where
Plots and Conspiracies were either in vogue from the turbulency
of the meaner People, or could be turned to the use and service
of the higher Rank of them, I first would take care to cherish
and encourage the breed of Discoverers, Witnesses, Informers,
Accusers, Prosecutors, Evidences, Swearers, together with their
several subservient and subaltern Instruments; and when I had
got a competent Number of them of all sorts and Capacities, I
would put them under the Colour and conduct of some dextrous
Persons in sufficient power both to protect and reward them.
Men thus qualified and thus empowered might make a most
excellent use and advantage of Plots, they might raise their own
Characters and pass for most profound Politicians, they might
restore new Vigor to a crazy Administration, they might stifle or
divert general Discontents; fill their Pockets with Forfeitures,
and advance or sink the Opinion of Publick Credit, as either
might answer their private Advantage.  This might be done
by first agreeing and settling among themselves what suspected
Persons should be accused of a Plot. Then effectual care is
taken to secure all their Letters and Papers, and put the Criminal
in safe and secure Custody. These Papers might be delivered to




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a Sett of Artists of Dexterity sufficient to find out the mysterious
Meanings of Words, Syllables, and Letters.  They should be
allowed to put what Interpretation they pleased upon them,
giving them a Sense not only which has no relation at all to
them, but even what is quite contrary to their true Intent and
real Meaning; thus for Instance, they may, if they so fancy, interpret a Sieve to signify a Court-Lady, a lame Doo an Invader,
the Plague a standing Army, a Buzzard a great Statesman, the
Gout a High Priest, a Chtamber-pot a Committee of Grandees, a
Broom a Revolution, a AMouse-trap an Employment, a Bottomlesspit a Treasury, a Sink a Court, a Cap and Bells a Favourite, a
broken Reed a Court ofJustice, an emply Tin a General, a running
Sore an Administration.
But should this Method fail, recourse might be had to others
more effectual, by Learned Men called Acrosticks and Anagrams.
First, might be found Men of Skill and Penetration who can
discern that all initial Letters have political Meanings. Thus ZV
shall signify a Plot, B a Regiment of Horse, Z a Fleet at Sea.
Or secondly, by transposing the Letters of the Alphabet in any
suspected Paper, who can discover the deepest Designs of a discontented Party. So for Example, if I should say in a Letter to
a Friend, Our Brother Tom has just got ihe Piles, a Man of Skill
in this Art would discover how the same Letters which compose
that Sentence, may be analysed into the following Words; Resist
-     a Plot is brought Home -  --   7e obur. And this is
the Anagrammatick Method.
The Professor made me great Acknowledgments for communicating these Observations, and promised to make honourable
mention of me in his Treatise.
I saw nothing in this Country that could invite me to a longer
Continuance, and began to think of returning home to England.




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CHAPTER VII.
The Author leaves Lagado. arrives at Maldonada.  No Ship
read)y.  He takes a short Voyage to Glubbdubdrib.  His
Reception by the Governor.
THE Continent of which this Kingdom was a part, extends
itself, as I have reason to believe, Eastward to that unknown
Tract of America, Westward of California, and North to the
Pacifick Ocean, which is not above a hundred and fifty Miles
from Lagado, where there is a good Port and much Commerce
with the great Island of Luggnagg, situated to the North-West
about 29 Degrees North Latitude, and I40 Longitude. This
Island of Luggnagg stands South-Eastwards of Japan, about an
hundred Leagues distant. There is a strict Alliance between the
Japanese Emperor and the King of LZggnagg, which affords frequent Opportunities of sailing from one Island to the other. I
determined therefore to direct my Course this Way, in order to
my return to Europe. I hired two Mules with a Guide to shew
me the way, and carry my small Baggage. I took leave of my
noble Protector, who had shewn me so much Favour, and made
me a generous Present at my Departure.
My Journey was without any Accident or Adventure worth
relating. When I arrived at the Port of ilaldonada, (for so it is
called) there was no Ship in the Harbour bound for Luggnagg,
nor like to be in some time. The Town is about as large as
Portsmouth. I soon fell into some Acquaintance, and was very
hospitably received. A Gentleman of Distinction said to me that
since the Ships bound for Luggnagg could not be ready in less
than a Month, it might be no disagreeable Amusement for me to
P




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take a Trip to the little Island of Glubbdubdrib, about five Leagues
off to the South-West. He offered himself and a Friend to accompany me, and that I should be provided with a small convenient
Barque for the Voyage.
GLUBBDUBDRIB, as nearly as I can interpret the Word,
signifies the Island of Sorcerers or Magicians. It is about one
third as large as the Isle of Wigzt, and extremely Fruitful: It is
governed by the Head of a certain Tribe, who are all Magicians.
'This Tribe marries only among each other, and the eldest in Succession is Prince or Governor. He hath a noble Palace and a
Park of about three thousand Acres, surrounded by a Wall of
hewn Stone twenty Foot high. In this Park are several smaller
Inclosures for Cattle, Corn, and Gardening.
The Governor and his Family are served and attended by
Domesticks of a kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in Necromancy, he hath a Power of calling whom he pleaseth from the
Dead, and commanding their Service for twenty-four Hours, but
no longer; nor can he call the same Persons up again in less than
three Months, except upon very extraordinary Occasions.
When we arrived at the Island, which was about Eleven in the
Morning, one of the Gentlemen who accompanied me, went to
the Governour, and desired admittance for a Stranger, who came
on purpose to have the Honour of attending on his Highness.
This was immediately granted, and we all three entered the Gate
of the Palace between two Rows of Guards, armed and dressed
after a very antick manner, and something in their Countenances
that made my Flesh creep with a Horror I cannot express. We
passed through several Apartments between Servants of the same
sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the Chamber
of Presence, where after three profound Obeysances, and a few
general Questions, we were permitted to sit on three Stools near
the lowest Step of his Highness's Throne. He understood the
Language of Balnibarbi, although it were different from that of
his Island.  He desired me to give him some account of my
Travels; and to let me see that I should be treated without Ceremony, he dismissed all his Attendants with a turn of his Finger,




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227


at which to my great Astonishment they vanished in an Instant,
like Visions -in a Dream, when we awake on a sudden. I could
not recover my self in some time, till the Governor assured me
that I should receive no hurt; and observing my two Companions
to be under no Concern, who had been often entertained in the
same manner, I began to take Courage, and related to his Highness a short History of my several Adventures, yet not without
some Hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the Place
where I had seen those Domestick Spectres. I had the Honour
to dine with the Governor, where a new Set of Ghosts served up
the Meat, and waited at Table. I now observed myself to be
less terrified than I had been in the Morning. I staid till Sun-set,
but humbly desired his Highness to excuse me for not accepting
of his Invitation of lodging in the Palace. My two Friends and
I lay at a private House in the Town adjoining, which is the
Capital of this little Island; and the next Morning we returned to
pay our Duty to the Governor, as he was pleased to command us.
After this manner we continued in the Island for ten Days,
most part of every Day with the Governor, and at Night in our
Lodging. I soon grew so familiariz'd to the sight of Spirits, that
after the third or fourth time they gave me no Emotion at all;
or if I had any Apprehensions left, my Curiosity prevailed over
them. For his Highness the Governor ordered me to call up
whatever Persons I would chuse to name, and in whatever Numbers
among all the Dead from the beginning of the World to the
present time, and command them to answer any Questions I
should think fit to ask; with this condition, that my Questions
must be confined within the compass of the times they lived in.
And one thing I might depend upon, that they would certainly tell
me truth, for Lying was a Talent of no use in the lower World.
I made my humble Acknowledgements to his Highness for so
great a Favour. We were in a Chamber, from whence there was
a fair Prospect into the Park. And because my first Inclination
was to be entertained with Scenes of Pomp and Magnificence, I
desired to see Alexander the Great, at the Head of his Army just
after the Battle of Arbela, which upon a Motion of the Governors




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Finger immediately appeared in a large Field under the Window,
where we stood. Alexander was called up in the Room: It was
with great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but
little of my own. He assured me upon his Honour that he was
not Poisoned, but dyed of a Fever by excessive Drinking.
Next I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me he had
not a drop of Vinegar in his Camp.
I saw Caesar and Poomey at the Head of their Troops just
ready to engage. I saw the former in his last great Triumph. I
desired that the Senate of Rome might appear before me in one
large Chamber, and an Assembly of somewhat a latter Age, in
Counterview in another. The first seemed to be an Assembly of
Heroes and Demy-Gods; the other a Knot of Pedlars, Pickpockets, High-way-men and Bullies.
The Governor at my Request gave the Sign for Ccesar and
Brutus to advance towards us. I was struck with a profound
Veneration at the sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the
most consummate Virtue, the greatest Intrepidity, and firmness
of Mind, the truest Love of his Country, and general Benevolence
for Mankind in every Lineament of his Countenance. I observed
with much pleasure, that these two Persons were in good Intelligence with each other, and Ccesar freely confessed to me, that
the greatest Actions of his own Life were not equal by many
Degrees to the Glory of taking it away. I had the Honour to
have much conversation with Brutus, and was told that his
Ancestors Junius, Socrates, Ep2aminondas, Cato the Younger, Sir
Thomas More and himself, were perpetually together: a Sextumvirale to which all the Ages of the World cannot add a Seventh.
It would be tedious to trouble the Reader with relating what
vast numbers of illustrious Persons were called up, to gratify that
insatiable Desire I had to see the World in every Period of
Antiquity placed before me. I chiefly fed mine Eyes with beholding the Destroyers of Tyrants and Usurpers, and the Restorers of
Liberty to oppressed and injured Nations. But it is impossible
to express the Satisfaction I received in my own Mind, after such
a manner as to make it a suitable Entertainment to the Reader.




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CHAPTER VIII.
A further Account of Glubbdubdrib. Anlient and Modern
History corrected.
H   AVING a desire to see those Antients, who were most
renowned for Wit and Learning, I set apart one day on
purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle might appear at
the Head of all their Commentators; but these were so numerous
that some hundreds were forced to attend in the Court and outward Rooms of the Palace.  I knew and could distinguish those
two Heroes at first sight, not only from the Croud, but fror each
other. Homer was the taller and comelier Person of the two,
walked very erect for one of his Age, and his Eyes were the most
quick and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and
made use of a staff. His Visage was meager, his Hair lank and
thin, and his Voice hollow. I soon discovered that both of them
were perfect Strangers to the rest of the Company, and had never
seen or heard of them before. And I had a Whisper from a
Ghost, who shall be nameless, that these Commentators always
kept in the most distant Quarters from their Principals in the
lower World, through a Consciousness of Shame and Guilt,
because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of
those Authors to Posterity. I introduced Didymzus and Eustahzizus
to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps
they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a Genius to enter
into the Spirit of a Poet. But Aristotle was out of all Patience
with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I presented
them to him, and he asked them whether the rest of the Tribe
were as great Dunces as themselves.




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I then desired the Governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi,
with whom I prevailed to explain their Systems to Aristotle.
This great Philosopher freely acknowledged his own Mistakes in
Natural Philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon
Conjecture, as all Men must do; and he found, that Gassendi,
who had made the Doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could,
and the Vortices of Descartes were equally exploded. He predicted the same Fate to Attraction, whereof the present Learned
are such zealous Asserters. He said, that new Systems of Nature
were but new Fashions, which would vary in every Age; and
even those who pretend to demonstrate them from Mathematical
Principles, would flourish but a short Period of time, and be out
of Vogue when that was determined.
I spent five Days in conversing with many others of the
antient Learned. I saw most of the first Roman Emperors. I
prevailed on the Governor to call up Eliogabulus's Cooks to dress
us a Dinner, but they could not shew us much of their Skill,
for want of Materials. A leZlot of Agesilaus made us a Dish
of Spartan Broth, but I was not able to get down a second
Spoonful.
The two Gentlemen who conducted me to the Island, were
pressed by their private Affairs to return in three Days, which
I employed in seeing some of the modern Dead, who had made
the greatest Figure for two or three hundred Years past in our
own and other Countries of Eui-rope; and having been always a
great Admirer of old illustrious Families, I desired the Governor
would call up a dozen or two of Kings with their Ancestors in
order for eight or nine Generations. But my Disappointment
was grievous and unexpected. For instead of a long train with
Royal Diadems, I saw in one Family two Fidlers, three spruce
Courtiers, and an Italian Prelate. In another a Barber, an
Abbot, and two Cardinals. I have too great a Veneration for
Crowned Heads to dwell any longer on so nice a Subject. But
as to Counts, Marquesses, Dukes, Earls, and the like I was not
so scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some Pleasure
that I found my self able to trace the particular Features, by


-4




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231


which certain Families are distinguished up to their Originals.
I could plainly discover from whence one Family derives a long
Chin, why a second hath abounded with Knaves for two Generations, and Fools for two more; why a third happened to be
crack-brained, and a fourth to be Sharpers. Whence it came
what Polyodore Virgil says of a certain great House, lec Vir fortis,
ntec Fcemina Cas/a. How Cruelty, Falsehood, and Cowardice
grew to be Characteristicks by which certain Families are distinguished as much as by their Coat of Arms. Who first brought
the Pox into a noble House, which hath lineally descended in
scrophulous Tumours to their Posterity. Neither could I wonder
at all this, when I saw such an Interruption of Lineages by Pages,
Lacqueys, Valets, Coachinen, Gamesters, Captains, and Pickpockets.
I was chiefly disgusted with modern History. For having
strictly examined all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts
of Princes for an hundred Years past, I found how the World had
been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe the greatest Exploits
in War to Cowards, the Wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity to
Flatterers, Romazn Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, Piety to
Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers.  How many
innocent and excellent Persons had been condemned to Death
or Banishrient, by the practising of great Ministers upon the
Corruption of Judges, and the Malice of Faction. How many
Villains had been exalted to the highest Places of Trust, Power,
Dignity, and Profit: How great a share in the Motions and
Events of Courts, Councils, and Senates might be challenged by
Baw-ds, W hores, Pimps, Parisitec, and Buffoons: How low ani
Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly
informed of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprizes and
Revolutions in the World, and of the contemptible Accidents to
which they owed their Success.
Here I discovered the Roguery and Ignorance of those who
pretend to write Anecdotes, or secret History who send so many
Kings to their Graves with a Cup of Poison; will repeat the Discourse between a Prince and Chief Minister, where no Witness




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G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


was by; unlock the Thoughts and Cabinets of Embassadors and
Secretaries of State, and have the perpetual Misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the secret Causes of many great Events
that have surprized the World, how a Whore can govern the
Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council a Senate.
A General confessed in my Presence, that he got a Victory
purely by the force of Cowardice and ill Conduct: and an
Admiral that for want of proper Intelligence, he beat the Enemy
to whom he intended to betray the Fleet. Three Kings protested to me, that in their whole Reigns they did never once
prefer any Person of Merit, unless by Mistake or Treachery of
some Minister in whom they confided: Neither would they do it
if they were to live again; and they shewed with great strength
of Reason, that the Royal Throne could not be supported without Corruption, because that positive, confident restive Temper,
which Virtue infused into Man, was a perpetual Clog to publick
Business.
I had the Curiosity to enquire in a particular manner, by what
Method great Numbers had procured to themselves high Titles
of Honour, and prodigious Estates; and I confined my Enquiry
to a very modern Period: however without grating upon present
times, because I would be sure to give no Offence even to Foreigners (for I hope the Reader need not be told that I do not
in the least intend my own Country in what I say upon this occasion) a great number of Persons concerned were called up, and
upon a very slight Examination, discovered such a Scene of
Infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some Seriousness.
Perjury, Oppression, Subornation, Fraud, Pandarism, and the like
Irfrzilies were amongst the most excusable Arts they had to
mention, and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great Allowance. But when some confessed they owed their Greatness and
Wealth to Sodomy or Incest, others to the prostituting of their
own WVives and Daughters; others to the betraying their Country
or their Prince; some to Poisoning, more to the perverting of
Justice in order to destroy the innocent: I hope I may be pardoned if these Discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that




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233


profound Veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to Persons
of high Rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost Respect
due to their sublime Dignity, by us their Inferiors.
I had often read of some great Services done to Princes and
States, and desired to see the Persons by whom those Services
were performed. Upon enquiry I was told that their Names were
to be found on no Record, except a few of them whom History
hath represented as the vilest Rogues and Traitors. As to the
rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with
dejected Looks, and in the meanest Habit, most of them telling me
they died in Poverty and Disgrace, and the rest on a Scaffold or
a Gibbet.
Among the rest there was one Person whose Case appeared
a little singular. He had a Youth about eighteen Years old standing by his side. He told me he had for many Years been Commander of a Ship, and in the Sea Fight at Actium, had the good
Fortune to break through the Enemy's great Line of Battle, sink
three of their Capital Ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole
Cause of Anthony's Flight, and of the Victory that ensued; that
the Youth standing by him, his only Son, was killed in the Action.
He added, that upon the Confidence of some Merit, this War
being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the Court of
Augustus to be preferred to a greater Ship, whose Commander had
been killed; but without any regard to his Pretensions, it was
given to a Youth who had never seen the Sea, the Son of Libertina, who waited on one of the Emperor's Mistresses. Returning
back to his own Vessel, he was charged with neglect of Duty,
and the Ship given to a Favourite Page of Publicola the ViceAdmiral; whereupon he retired to a poor Farm, at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his Life. I was so curious to
know the truth of this Story, that I desired Agrippa might be
called, who was Admiral in that Fight. He appeared and confirmed the whole Account, but with much more Advantage to the
Captain, whose Modesty had extenuated or concealed a great
part of his Merit.
I was surprized to find Corruption grown so high and so quick




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in that Empire, by the force of Luxury so lately introduced, which
made me less wonder at many parallel Cases in other Countries,
where Vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where
the whole Praise as well as Pillage hath been engrossed by the
chief Commander, who perhaps had the least Title to either.
As every Person called up made exactly the same appearance
he had done in the World, it gave me melancholy Reflections to
observe how much the Race of human kind was degenerate among'
us, within these hundred Years past. How the Pox under all its
Consequences and Denominations had altered every Lineament
of an English Countenance, shortned the size of Bodies, unbraced the Nerves, relaxed the Sinews and Muscles, introduced a
sallow Complexion, and rendered the Flesh loose and Rancid.
I descended so low as to desire that some Engish Yeomen of
the old stamp, might be summoned to appear, once so famous
for the Simplicity of their Manners, Dyet and Dress, for Justice
in their Dealings, for their true Spirit of Liberty, for their Valour
and Love of their Country. Neither could I be wholly unmov'd
after comparing the Living with the Dead, when I considered
how all these pure native Virtues were prostituted for a piece of
Money by their Grand-children, who in selling their Votes, and
managing at Elections have acquired every Vice and Corruption
that can possibly be learned in a Court.




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235


CHAPTER IX.
The Authors Return to Maldonada. Sails to the Kingdom of
Luggnagg. The Author confined. He is sent for to Court.
The manner of his Admittance.  The King's great Lenity to
his Subjects.
THE Day of our Departure being come, I took leave of his
Highness the Governor of Ghlbbdubdribb, and returned with
my two Companions to. Maldonada, where after a Fortnight's
waiting, a Ship was ready to sail for Luggnago. The two Gentlemen and some others were so generous and kind as to furnish me
with Provisions, and see me on board. I was a Month in this
Voyage. We had one violent Storm, and were under a necessity
of steering Westward to get in to the Trade-Wind which holds for
above sixty Leagues. On the 21st of April, I71I, we sailed in
the River Clumegnig, which is a Sea-port Town, at the SouthEast Point of Luggnagg. We cast Anchor within a League of
the Town, and made a Signal for a Pilot. Two of them came on
board in less than half an Hour, by whom we were guided
between certain Shoals and Rocks which are very dangerous in
a Passage to a large Basin, where a Fleet may ride in safety
within a Cable's Length of the Town Wall.
Some of our Sailors, whether out of Treachery or Inadvertence,
had informed the Pilots that I was a Stranger and a great Traveller,
whereof these gave notice to a Custom-House Officer, by whom I
was examined very strictly upon my landing. This Officer spoke
to me in the Language of Balnibarbi, which by the force of much
Commerce is generally understood in that Town, especially by
Sea-men, and those employed in the Customs.  I gave him a




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G ULLI VER'S TRAVELS.


short Account of some Particulars, and made my Story as plausible
and consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise
my Country, and call my self an Hollander, because my Intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans permitted to enter into that Kingdom. I therefore told the
Officer, that having been Shipwrecked on the Coast of Balnibarbi,
and cast on a Rock, I was received up into Lapula, or the flying
Island (of which he had often heard) and was now endeavouring
to get to Japan, from whence I might find a Convenience of
returning to my own Country. The Officer said I must be confined till he could receive Orders from Court, for which he would
write immediately, and hoped to receive an Answer in a fortnight.
I was carried to a convenient Lodging, with a Centry placed at
the Door; however I had the Liberty of a large Garden, and was
treated with Humanity enough, being maintained all the time at
the King's Charge. I was invited by several Persons, chiefly out
of Curiosity, because it was reported that I came from Countries
very remote of which they never heard.
I hired a young Man who came in the same Ship to be an
Interpreter; he was a Native of Luggnagg, but had lived some
Years at M2aldonada, and was a perfect Master of both Languages.
By his Assistance I was able to hold a Conversation with those
who came to visit me; but this consisted only of their Questions,
and my Answers.
The Dispatch came from Court about the time we expected.
It contain'd a Warrant for conducting me and my Retinue to
Traldragdubh or Trildrogdrib, for it is pronounced both ways as
near as I can remember, by a party of Ten Horse. All my
Retinue was that poor Lad for an Interpreter, whom I persuaded
into my Service, and at my humble Request, we had each of us a
Mule to ride on. -A Messenger was dispatch'd half a day's Journey
before us, to give the King notice of my Approach, and to desire
that his Majesty would please to appoint a Day and Hour, when
it would be his gracious Pleasure that I might have the Honour
to lick the Dust before his Footstool. This is the Court Style, and
I found it to be more than matter of form. For upon my Admit



A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


237


tance two Days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl on
my Belly, and lick the Floor as I advanced; but on account of
my being a Stranger, care was taken to have it swept so clean
that the Dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar
Grace, not allowed to any but Persons of the highest Rank, when
they desire an Admittance. Nay, sometimes the Floor is strewed
with Dust on purpose, when the Person to be admitted happens
to have powerful Enemies at Court. And I have seen a great
Lord with his Mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the
proper Distance from the Throne, he was not able to speak a
Word. Neither is there any Remedy, because it is Capital for
those who receive an Audience to spit or wipe their Mouths in his
Majesty's Presence. There is indeed another Custom, which I
cannot altogether approve of. When the King hath a mind to
put any of his Nobles to Death in a gentle indulgent manner, he
commands to have the Floor strowed with a certain brown Powder,
of a deadly Composition, which being licked up infallibly kills
him in twenty-four Hours. But in Justice to this Prince's great
Clemency, and the care he hath of his Subjects Lives, (wherein
it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would
imitate him) it must be mentioned for his Honour, that strict
orders are given to have the infected parts of the Floor well
washed after every such Execution, which if his Domesticks
neglect, they are in danger of incurring his Royal Displeasure.  I
my self heard him give Directions, that one of his Pages should
be whipt, whose turn it was to give notice about washing the
Floor after an Execution, but maliciously had omitted it, by which
Neglect a young Lord of great Hopes coming to an Audience,
was unfortunately poisoned, although the King at that time had
no design against his Life. But this good Prince was so gracious,
as to forgive the poor Page his Whipping, upon promise that he
would do so no more, without special Orders.
To return from this Digression; when I had crept within four
Yards of the Throne, I raised my self gently upon my Knees,
and then striking my Forehead seven times on the Ground, I
pronounced the following Words, as they had been taught me the




238


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Night before, Icklpling Gloffthrobb Squutserumm blhiop Mlashnalt
Zwoin tnodbalkguffh Slhiophad Gurdlubh Ash/t. This is the Compliment established by the Laws of the Land for all Persons
admitted to the King's Presence.  It may be rendered into
English thus: May your cclestial Majesty out-live the Sun, eleven
Moons and an half. To this the King returned some Answer,
which although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had
been directed; Flufh drin Yalerick DiDuldom p6rastrad nmiplush,
which properly signifies, My Tongue is in the MAouth of my Friendl,
and by this Expression was meant that I desired leave to bring
my Interpreter; whereupon the young Man already mentioned
was accordingly introduced, by whose Intervention I answer'd as
many Questions as his Majesty could put in above an Hour. I
spoke in the Balnibarnian Tongue, and my Interpreter delivered
my Meaning in that of Luggnag;.
The King was much delighted with my Company, and ordered
his Blijfnarklub or high Chamberlain to appoint a Lodging in
the Court for me and my Interpreter, with a daily Allowance- for
my Table, and a large Purse of Gold for my common Expences.
I stayed three Months in this Country out of perfect Obedience to his Majesty, who was pleased highly to favour me, and
made me very honourable Offers. But, I thought it more consistent with Prudence and Justice to pass the remainder of my
Days with my W`ife and Family.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUIA, ETC.


239


CHAPTER X.
The Luggnuggians cormmended. A particular Description of the
Struldbrugs, with many Conversations between the Author
and some eminent Persons upon thal Subject.
THE Luggnuggians are a polite and generous People, and
although they are not without some share of that Pride
which is peculiar to all Eastern Countries, yet they shew themselves courteous to Strangers, especially such who are countenanced
by the Court. I had many Acquaintance among Persons of the
best.Fashion, and being always attended by my Interpreter, the
Conversation we had was not disagreeable.
One Day in much good Company I was asked by a Person of
Quality, whether I had seen any of their Strnddbrugs or lmmortals. I said I had not, and desired he would explain to me
what he meant by such an Appellation applyed to a mortal
Creature.  He told me, that sometimes, though very rarely, a
Child happened to be born in a Family with a red circular Spot
in the Forehead, directly over the left Eyebrow, which was an
infallible Mark that it should never dye. The Spot, as he described it, was about the compass of a Silver Threepence, but in
the course of Time grew larger, and changed its Colour; for at
twelve Years old it became Green, so continued till five and
Twenty, then turned to a deep Blue; at Five and Forty it grew
coal Black, and as large as an English Shilling, but never admitted any farther Alteration. He said these Births were so rare,
that he did not believe there could be above Eleven Hundred
Struldbru.gs of both Sexes in the whole Kingdom, of which he
computed about fifty in the Metropolis, and among the rest a




240


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


young Girl born about three Years ago. That these Productions
were not peculiar to any Family but a meer effect of Chance, and
the Children of the Struldbruggs themselves, were equally mortal
with the rest of the People.
I freely own my self to have been struck with inexpressible
Delight upon hearing this Account: And the Person who gave it
me happening to understand the Balnibarbian Language, which
I spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out into expressions perhaps a little too Extravagant. I cryed out as in a Rapture;
Happy Nation where every Child hath at least a chance for being
immortal! Happy People who enjoy so many living Examples
of antient Virtue, and have Masters ready to instruct them in the
Wisdom of all former Ages! But, happiest beyond all comparison
are those excellent Struldbruggs, who born exempt from that
universal Calamity of human Nature, have their Minds free and
disengaged, without the weight and depression of Spirits caused
by the continual Apprehension of Death. I discovered my Admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious Persons
at Court: the black Spot on the Fore-head, being so remarkable
a Distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: And it
was impossible that his Majesty, a most Judicious Prince, should
not provide himself with a good number of such wise and able
Councellours. Yet perhaps the Virtue of those Reverend Sages
was too strict for the Corrupt and Libertine Manners of a Court.
And we often find by Experience that young Men are too opinionative and volatile to be guided by the sober Dictates of their
Seniors.  However, since the King was pleased to allow me
Access to his Royal Person, I was resolved upon the very first
occasion to deliver my Opinion to him on this Matter freely, and
at large by the help of my Interpreter; and whether he would
please to take my Advice or no, yet in one thing I was determined, that his M[ajesty having frequently offered me an Establishment in this Country, I would with great thankfulness accept
the Favour, and pass my Life here in the Conversation of those
superiour Beings the Struldbrugs, if they would please to
admit me.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


24I


The Gentleman to whom I addressed my Discourse, because
(as I have already observed) he spoke the Language of Balnibarbi, said to me with a sort of a Smile, which usually ariseth from
Pity to the Ignorant, that he was glad of any occasion to keep
me among them, and desired my Permission to explain to the
Company what I had spoke. He did so, and they talked together for some time in their own Language, whereof I understood
not a Syllable, neither could I observe by their Countenances
what impression my Discourse had made on them. After a short
Silence the same Person told me, that his Friends and mine (so
he thought fit to express himself) were very much pleased with
the judicious Remarks I had made on the great Happiness and
Advantages ot immortal Life, and they were desirous to know in a
particular manner, what Scheme of Living I should have formed to
my self, if it had fallen to my Lot to have been born a Struldbrugg.
I answered, it was easy to be Eloquent on so copious and
delightful a Subject, especially to me who have been often apt to
amuse my self with Visions of what I should do if I were a King,
a General, or a great Lord: And upon this very Case I had frequently run over the whole System how I should employ my self,
and pass the time if I were sure to live for ever.
That, if it had been my good Fortune to come into the World
a Struldbrugg, as soon as I could discover my own Happiness by
understanding the difference between Life and Death, I would
first resolve by all Arts and Methods whatsoever to procure my
self Riches. In the pursuit of which by Thrift and Management,
I might reasonably expect in about two Hundred Years, to be
the Wealthiest Man in the Kingdom. In the second place, I
would from my earliest Youth apply myself to the study of Arts
and Sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all others
in Learning. Lastly I would carefully record every Action and
Event of Consequence that happened in the Publick, impartially
draw the Characters of the several Successions of Princes, and
great Ministers of State, with my own Observations on every
Point. I would exactly set down the several changes in Customs,
Languages, Fashions, Dress, Dyet and Diversions. By all which
Q




242


G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Acquirements, I should be a living Treasury of Knowledge and
Wisdom, and certainly become the Oracle of the Nation.
I would never marry after threescore, but live in an hospitable
manner, yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in
forming and directing the Minds of hopeful young Men, by convincing them from my own Remembrance, Experience and Observation, fortified by numerous Examples, of the usefulness of
Virtue in publick and private Life. But, my Choice and constant
Companions should be a sett of my own immortal Brother hood,
among whom I would elect a dozen from the most Ancient down
to my own Contemporaries. Where any of these wanted Fortunes, I would provide them with convenient Lodges round my
own Estate, and have some of them always at my Table, only
mingling a few of the most valuable among you Mortals, whom
length of Time would harden me to lose with little or no Reluctance, and treat your Posterity after the same manner, just as a
Man diverts himself with the Annual Succession of Pinks and
Tulips in his Garden, without regretting the loss of those which
withered the preceding Year.
These StruldbZuggs and I would mutually communicate our
Observations and Memorials through the Course of Time, remark
the several Gradations by which Corruption steals into the World,
and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual Warning and
Instruction to Mankind; which, added to the strong Influence of
our own Example, would probably prevent that continual Degeneracy of Human Nature so justly complained of in all Ages.
Add to all this, the pleasure of seeing the various Revolutions
of States and Empires, the Changes in the lower and upper World,
antient Cities in Ruins, and obscure Villages become the Seats of
Kings. Famous Rivers lessening into shallow Brooks, the Ocean
leaving one Coast dry, and overwhelming another: The Discovery of many Countries yet unknown. Barbarity over-running
the politest Nations, and the most barbarous become civilized.
I should then see the Discovery of the Longilude, the perpetual
Motion, the Universal Medicine, and many other great Inventions
brought to the utmost Perfection.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


243


What wonderful Discoveries should we make in Astronomy,
by outliving and confirming our own Predictions, by observing
the Progress and Returns of Corets, with the changes of Motion
in the Sun, Moon and Stars.
I enlarged upon many other Topicks, which the natural desire
of endless Life and sublunary Happiness could easily furnish me
with. When I had ended, and the Sum of my Discourse had
been interpreted as before, to the rest of the Company, there was
a good deal of Talk among them in the Language of the Country,
not without some Laughter at my Expence. At last the same
Gentleman who had been my Interpreter said, he was desired by
the rest to set me right in a few Mistakes, which I had fallen into
through the common Imbecillity of human Nature, and upon that
allowance was less answerable for them. That, this Breed of
S/ruldbruggs was peculiar to their County, for there were no such
People either in Balzibarbi or Japan, where he had the Honour
to be Embassador from his Majesty, and found the Natives in
both these Kingdoms very hard to believe that the Fact was
possible, and it appeared from my Astonishment when he first
mentioned the matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly
new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two Kingdoms
above mentioned, where during his Residence he had converse
very much, he observed long Life to be the universal Desire and
Wish of Mankind. That whoever had one Foot in the Grave,
was sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could. That
the eldest had still hopes of living one Day longer, and looked on
Death as the greatest Evil, from which Nature always prompted
him to retreat; only in this Island of Luggnagg, the Appetite for
living was not so eager, from the continual Example of the Struldbrugs before their Eyes.
That the System of Living contrived by me was unreasonable
and unjust, because it supposed a Perpetuity of Youth, Health,
and Vigour, which no Man could be so foolish to hope, however
extravagant he may be in his Wishes. That the Question therefore was not whether a Man would chuse to be always in the
Prime of Youth, attended with Prosperity and Health, but how




244


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


he would pass a perpetual Life under all the usual Disadvantages
which old Aie brings along with it. For although few Men- wil
avow their Desires of being immortal upon such hard Conditions,
yet in the two Kingdoms before-mentioned of Balnibarbi and
Japan, he observed that every Man desired to put off Death for
sometime longer, let it approach ever so late, and he rarely heard
of any Man who died willingly, except he were incited by the
Extremity of Grief or Torture. And he appealed to me whether
in those Countries I had travelled as well as my own, I had not.observed the same general Disposition.
After this Preface he gave me a particular Account of the
Slruldbywggs among them.  He said they commonly acted like
Arortals, till about thirty Years old, after which by degrees they
grew mei.anchoiy and dejected, encreasing in both till they came
to four-score. This he learned fiomn their otwn Confession; for
otherwise there not being above two or three of that Species born
in an Age, were too few to form a general Observation by. When
they came to four-score Years, which is reckoned the Extrer.ity
of living in this Country, they had.rct (c nl!y al1 the Fllies and
Infirmities of other old Men, but many more which arose from
the dreadful Prospects of never dying. They were not only
Opinionative, Peevish, Covetous, Morose, Vain, Talkative, but
uncapable of Friendship, and dead to all natural Affection, which
never descended below their Grand-children. Envy and impotent
Desires, are their prevailing Passions. But those Objects against
which their Envy seems principally directed, are the Vices of the
younger sort, and the Deaths of the old. By reflecting on the
former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of Pleasure; and whenever they see a Funeral, they lament and repine
that others are gone to an Harbour of Rest, to which they themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no Remembrance of
any-thing but what they learned and observed in their Youth and
middle Age, and even that is vepy imperfect. And for the Truth
or Particulars of any Fact, it is safer to depend on common
Traditions than upon their best Recollections. The least miserable among them appear to be those who turn to Dotage, and




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


245


entirely lose their Memories; these meet with more Pity and
Assistance, because they want many bad Qualities which abound
in others.
If a Struldbrugg happen to marry one of his own kind, the
Marriage is dissolved of course by the Courtesy of the Kingdom,
as soon as the younger of the two come to be four-score. For
the Law thinks it a reasonable Indulgence, that those who are
condemned without any Fault of their own to a perpetual Continuance in the World, should not have their Misery doubled by
the Load of a Wife.
As soon as they have compleated the term of eighty Years,
they are look'd on as dead in Law; their Heirs immediately
succeed to their Estates, only a small Pittance is reserved for
their Support, and the poor ones are maintained at the publick
Charge. After that Period they are held incapable of any Employment of Trust or Profit, they cannot purchase Lands or take
Leases, neither are they allowed to be Witnesses in any Cause,
either Civil or Criminal, not even for the Decision of Meers and
Bounds.
At Ninety they lose their Teeth and Hair, they have at that
age no Distinction of Taste, but eat and drink whatever they can
get, without Relish or Appetite. The Diseases they were subject
to still continuing without encreasing or diminishing. In talking
they forgot the common Appellation of things, and the Names of
Persons, even of those who are their nearest Friends and Relations. For the same reason they never can amuse themselves
with reading, because their Memory will not serve to carry them
from the beginning of a Sentence to the end; and by this Defect
they are deprived of the only Entertainment whereof they might
othenrise be capable.
The Language of this Country being always upon the Flux, the
StruZdbruggs of one Age do not understand those of another,
neither are they able after two hundred Years to hold any Conversation (farther than by a few general Words) with their Neighbours the Mortals, and thus they lye under the Disadvantage of
living like Foreigners in their own Country.




346


G ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


This was the Account given me of the Struldbruggs, as near as
I can remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different Ages,
the youngest not above two hundred Years old, who were brought
me at several times by some of my Friends; but although they
were told that I was a great Traveller, and had seen all the World,
they had not the least Curiosity to ask me a Question; oinly
desired I would give them Slumskiidask, or a Token of Remembrance, which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the Law that
strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the Publick,
although indeed with a very scanty Allowance.
They are deprived and hated by all sort of People; when one
of them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their Birth is recorded
very particularly; so that you may know their Age by consulting
the Registry, which however hath not been kept above a thousand
Years past, or at least hath been destroyed by time or publick
Disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they
are is by asking them what Kings or great Persons they can remember, and then consulting History, for infallibly the last Prince,
in their Mind, did not begin his Reign after they were four-score
Years old.
They were the most mortifying Sight I ever beheld, and the
Women more horrible than the Men. Besides the usual Deformities in extreme old Age, they acquired an additional Ghastliness
in Proportion to their Number of Years, which is not to be described, and among half a Dozen I soon distinguished which was
the eldest, although there was not above a Century or two between
them.
The Reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard
and seen, my keen Appetite for Perpetuity of Life was much
abated. I grew heartily ashamed of the pleasing Visions I had
formed, and thought no Tyrant could invent a Death into which
I would not run with Pleasure from such a Life. The King
heard of all that had passed between me and my Friends upon
this Occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly, wishing I would
send a couple of S/ruldbruggs to my own Country, to arm our
People against the Fear of Death; but this it seems is forbidden




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.                247_
by the fundamental Laws of the Kingdom, or else I should have
been well content with the Trouble and Expence of transporting
them.
I could not but agree that the Laws of this Kingdom, relating
to the Struldbrutggs, were founded upon the strongest Reasons,
and such as any other Country would be under the Necessity of
enacting in the like Circumstances. Otherwise, as Avarice is the
necessary Consequent of old Age, those Immortals would in time
become Proprietors of the whole Nation, and engross the Civil
Power, which, for want of Abilities to manage, must end in the
Ruin of the Publick.




248


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER XI.
The Author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he
returns in a Dutch Ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam
to England.
I THOUGHT this Account of the Struldbruggs might be some
Entertainment to the Reader, because it seems to be a little
out of the common Way, at least, I do not remember to have
met the like in any Book of Travels that hath come to my Hands:
And if I am deceived, my Excuse must be, that it is necessary
for Travellers, who describe the same Country, very often to
agree in dwelling on the same Particulars, without deserving the
Censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote
before them.
There is indeed a perpetual Commerce between this Kingdom
and the great Empire of Japan, and it is very probable that the
Japanese Authors may have given some Account of the Struldbruggs; but my Stay in Japan was so short, and I was so intirely
a Stranger to that Language, that I was not qualified to make
any Enquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this Notice, will be
curious and able enough to supply my Defects.
His Majesty having often pressed me to accept some Employment in his Court, and finding me absolutely determined to
return to my Native Country, was pleased to give me his Licence
to depart, and honoured me with a Letter of Recommendation
under his own Hand to the Emperor ofJapan. He likewise presented me with four hundred forty four large Pieces of Gold (this
Nation delighting in even Numbers) and a red Diamond, which I
sold in England for eleven hundred Pounds.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


249


On the sixth Day of May, 1709, I took a solemn Leave of his
Majesty, and all my Friends. This Prince was so gracious, as to
order a Guard to conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a Royal
Port to the Soulh- West Part of the Island. In six Days I found
a Vessel ready to carry me to Jfaan, and spent fifteen Days in
the Voyage. We landed at a small Port-Town called Xamoschi,
situated on the South-East Part of Japan, the Town lies on the
Western Point, where there is a narrow streight, leading Nortih
ward into a long Arm of the Sea, upon the North- West Part of
which Yedo, the Metropolis, stands. At Landing, I shewed the
Custom-house Officers my Letter from the King of Luggnagg to
his Imperial Majesty. They knew the Seal perfectly well; it was
as broad as the Palm of my Hand. The Impression was, A
King ift/ing up a Lame Beggarfronm the Earth. The Magistrates
of the Town hearing of my Letter, received me as a Publick
Minister; they provided me with Carriages and Servants, and
bore my Charges to Yedo, where I was admitted to an Audience,
land delivered my Letter, which was opened with great Ceremony,
and explained to the Emperor by an Interpreter, who then gave
me notice, by his Majesty's Order, that I shou'd signify my
Request, and whatever it were, it should be granted for the sake
of his Royal Brother of Luggnagg. This Interpreter was a Person
employed to transact Affairs with the Hollanders; he soon conjectured by my Countenance that I was an European, and therefore repeated his Majesty's Commands in Low-Dutch, which he
spoke perfectly well. I answered, (as I had before determined,) that
I was a Dutch Merchant, shipwrecked in a very remote Country,
from whence I travelled by Sea and Land to Luggnagg, and then
took Shipping for Japan, where I knew my Countrymen often
traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an Opportunity of
returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly entreated his
Royal Favour to give Order, that I should be conducted in Safety
to Nangasac: To this I added another Petition, that for the
sake of my Patron the King of uggnagg, his Majesty would condescend to excuse my performing the Ceremony imposed on my
Countrymen of trampling upon the Crucifix, because I had been




250


G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


thrown into his Kingdom by my Misfortunes, without any Intention of Trading. When this latter Petition was interpreted to the
Emperor, he seemed a little surprized, and said, he believed I
was the first of my Countrymen who ever made any Scruple in
this Point, and that he began to doubt whether I was a real
Hollander, or no, but rather -suspected I must be a CHRISTIAN.
However, for the Reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify
the King of LuZgginacg, by an uncommon Mark of his Favour,
he would comply with the Singularity of my Humour; but the
Affair must be managed with Dexterity, and his Officers should
be commanded to let me pass, as it were, by Forgetfulness. For
he assured me, that if the Secret should be discovered by my
Countrymen, the Dut-c/, they would cut my Throat in the Voyage.
I returned my Thanks by the Interpreter, for so unusual a Favour,
and some Troops being at that Time on their March to Vangasac,
the Commanding Officer had Orders to convey me safe thither,
with particular Instructions about the Business of the Crucifix.
On the 9th Day of Ji/e, 1709, I arrived at Na.ingasac, after a'
very long and troublesome Journey. I soon fell into Compan
of some Dutc/l Sailors, belonging to the Amboyna of Amosterdamn
a stout Ship of 450 Tuns. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing
my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutciz well. The Seamern
soon knew from whence I came last; they were curious to
enquire into my Voyages and Course of Life. I made up a Story
as short and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest Part.
I knew many Persons in Holland; I was able to invent Names
for my Parents, whom I pretended to be obscure People in the
Province of Gelderland. I would have given the Captain (one
Thzeodorus Vang'rull) what he pleased to ask for my Voyage to
Holland; but understanding I was a Surgeon, he was contented
to take half the usual Rate, on Condition that I would serve him
in the way of my Calling. Before we took Shipping, I was often
asked by some of the Crew, whether I had performed the Ceremony above-mentioned: I evaded the Question by general
Answers, that I had satisfied the Emperor and Court in all Particulars. However, a malicious Rogue of a Skipper went to an




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.


251I


Officer, and pointing to me, told him, I had not yet trampled on
the Crucifix: But the other, who had received Instructions to
let me pass, gave the Rascal twenty Strokes on the Shoulders
with a Bamboo, after which I was no more troubled with such
Questions.
Nothing happened worth mentioning in this Voyage.  We
sailed with a fair Wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we
staid only to take in fresh Water. On the i6th of April we
arrived safe to Amsterdam, having lost only three Men by Sickness in the Voyage, and a fourth who fell from the Fore-mast
into the Sea, not far from the Coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in-a small Vessel belonging
to that City.
On the Ioth of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I
landed the next Morning, and saw once more my native Country,
after an Absence of five Years and six Months compleat. I went
strait to Redriff, where I arrived the same Day at Two in the
Afternoon, and found my Wife and Family in good Health.


The End of the Third Part.




I
I




I   C e  - I




TRAVELS
INTO  SEVERAL
Remote Nations
OF THE
WORLD.


By Cazptain LEMUEL GULLIVER.
P ART    IV.
A Voyage to the HOUYIINHNMS.
l:


LON DON:


Printed in the Year, MDCCXXVI.


- '' L


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LewinV  Lau1d


Isepl-_-:.l.
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Snerirf


i*<&oler I.


THE LAND OF TH4E HouYHNHNMS


[ fi7ce Pt. I I, h. 25 5




TRAVELS.
PART IV.
A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE
HO U YHNHNMS.
CHAPTER I.
The Author sets out as a Captain of a Ship.  His Afen conspire
against hit, confine him a long titme to his Cabbin, set him on
shore in an unknown Iand. He travels up in/ thle Countlr.
The Yahoos a strange Sort of Animal described. The Author
meets tlvo Houyhnhnms.
I CONTINUED at home with my Wife and Children about
Five Months in a very happy Condition, if I could have
learned the Lesson of knowing when I was well. I left my poor
Wife big with Child, and accepted an advantagious Offer made
me to be Captain of the Adventure, a stout AMerchant-man of 350
Tuns: For I understood Navigation well, and being grown weary
of a Surgeon's Employment at Sea, which however I could exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young Man of that Calling,
one Robert Purefoy, into my Ship. We set sail from Portsmouth
upon the Second Day of Azugust, 1710; on the Fourteenth, we
met with Captain Pocock of Bristol, at Tenariff, who was going to
the Bay of Campechy, to cut Logwood. On the Sixteenth, he




256


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


was parted from us by a Storm; I heard since my Return, that
his Ship foundered, and none escaped, but one Cabbin-Boy.
4   He was an honest Man, and a good Sai'or, but a little too positive in his own Opinions, which was the Cause of his Destruction,
as it hath been of several others. For if he had followed my..   Advice, he might have been safe at home with his Family at
this Time, as well as myself.
I had several Men died in my Ship of Calentures, so that I
was forced to get Recruits out of Barbadoes, and the Leeward
Islands, where I touched by the Direction of the Merchants who
employed me, which I had soon too much cause to repent; for
I found afterwards that most of them had' been Bucaneers. I
had Fifty Hands on board, and my Orders were, that I should
trade with the Indians, in the Sozutl-Sea, and make what Discoveries I could. These Rogues whom I had picked up debauched my other Men, and they all formed a Conspiracy to
seize the Ship and secure me; which they did one Morning,
rushing into my Cabbin, and binding me Hand and Foot,
threatning to throw me over-board, if I offered to stir. I told
them, I was their Prisoner, and would submit. This they made
me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening one
of my Legs with a Chain near my Bed, and placed a Centry at
my Door, with his Piece charged, who was commanded to shoot
me dead, if I attempted my Liberty. They sent me down Victuals
>.and Drink, and took the Government of the Ship to themselves.
(         Their Design was to turn Pyrates, and plunder the Spaniards,
which they could not do, till they got more Men. But first they
resolved to sell the Goods in the Ship, and then go to Madagascar
for Recruits, several among them having died since my Confinement. They sailed many Weeks, and traded with the Indians,
but I knew not what Course they took, being kept a close Prisoner
in my Cabbin, and expecting nothing less then to be murdered,
as they often threatned me.
Upon the Ninth Day of May I7II, one James Welch came
down to my Cabbin; and said he had Orders from the Captain
to set me a-shore. I expostulated with him, but in vain; neither




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMiS.


would he so much as tell me who their new Captain was. They
forced me into the Long-boat, letting me put on my best Suit of
Cloaths, which were as good as New, and a small Bundle of
Linnen, but no Arms except my Hanger; and they were so civil
as not to search my Pockets, into which I conveyed what Money
I had, with some other little Necessaries. They rowed about a
League, and then set me down on a Strand. I desired them to
tell me, what Country it was. They all swore, they knew no more
than myself, but said, that the Captain (as they called him) was
resolved, after they had sold the Lading, to get rid of me in the
first Place, where they could discover Iand. They pushed off
immediately, advising me to make haste, for fear of being overtaken by the Tide, and so bad me Farewell.
In this desolate Condition I advanced forward, and soon got
upon firm Ground, where I sate down on a Bank to rest my self,
and consider what I had best to do. When I was a little
refreshed, I went up into the Country, resolving to deliver my
self to the first Savages I should meet, and purchase my Life
from them by some Bracelets, Glass-rings, and other Toys, which
Sailors usually provide themselves with in those Voyages, and
whereof I had some about me: The Land was divided by long
Rows of Trees not regularly planted, but naturally growing; there
was great plenty of Grass, and several Fields of Oats. I walked
very circumspectly for fear of being surprized, or suddenly shot
with an Arrow from behind or on either side. I fell into a beaten
Road, where I saw many Tracks of human Feet, and some of
Cows, but most of Horses. At last I beheld several Animals in
a Field, and one or two of the same kind sitting in Trees. Their
Shape was very singular, and deformed, which a little discomposed
me, so that I lay down behind a Thicket to observe them better.
Some of them coming forward near the place where I lay, gave
me an Opportunity of distinctly marking their Form. Their
Heads and Breasts were covered with a thick Hair, some frizled
and others lank, they had Beards like Goats, and a long ridge of
Hair down their Backs and the fore-parts of their Legs and Feet,
but the rest of their Bodies were bare, so that I might see
R




GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


their skins, which were of a brown buff Colour. They had no
Tails, nor any Hair at all on their Buttocks, except about the
Anus; which, I presume, Nature had placed there to defend
them as they sate on the Ground; for the Posture they used, as
well as lying down, and often stood on their hind Feet. They
climbed high Trees, as nimbly as a Squirrel, for they had strong.
extended Claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points,
hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap with
prodigious Agility. The Females were not so large as the Males,
they had long lank Hair on their Faces, nor any thing more than
a sort of Down on the rest of their Bodies, except about the
Anus and Pudenda. Their Dugs hung between their Fore-feet,
and often reached almost to the Ground as they walked. The
Hair of both Sexes was of several Colours, brown, red, black and
yallow. Upon the whole, I never beheld in all my Travels so
disagreeable an Animal nor one against which I naturally conceived so strong an Antipathy. So that thinking I had seen
enough, full of Contempt and Aversion, I got up and pursued the
beaten Road, hoping it might direct me to the Cabbin of some
Indian. I had not gone far when I met one of these Creatures
full in my way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly Monster,
when he saw me, distorted several ways every Feature of his
Visage, and started as at an Object he had never seen before;
then approaching nearer, lifted up his Fore-paw, whether out of
Curiosity or Mischief, I could not tell. But I drew my Hanger,
and gave him a good Blow with the flat Side of it, for I durst
not strike him with the Edge, fearing the Inhabitants might be
provoked against me, if they should come to know, that I had
killed or maimed any of their Cattle. When the Beast felt the
smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a Herd of.at least
forty came flocking about me from the next Field, houling and
making odious Faces; but I ran to the Body of a Tree, and
leaning my Back against it, kept them off, by waving my Hanger.
Several of this cursed Brood getting hold of the Branches behind
leapt up in the Tree, from whence they began to discharge their:Excrements on my Head: However, I escaped pretty well, by




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


259


sticking close to the Stem of the Tree, but was almost stifled with
the Filth, which fell about me on every side.
In the midst of this Distress, I observed them all to run away
on a sudden as fast as they could, at which I ventured to leave
the Tree, and pursue the Road, wondring what it was that could
put them into this Fright. But looking on my Left-hand, I saw
a Horse walking softly in the Field: which my Persecutors having
sooner discovered, was the cause of their Flight. The Horse
started a little when he came near me, but soon recovering himself, looked full in my Face wi:h manifest Tokens of Wonder:
He viewed my Hands and Feet, walking round me several times.
I would have pursued my Journey, but he placed himself directly
in the way, yet looking with a very mild Aspect, never offering
the least Violence. We stood gazing at each other for some
time; at last I took the Boldness, to reach my Hand towards his
Neck with a Design to stroak it using the common Style and
Whistle of Jockies when they are going to handle a strange Horse.
But this Animal seeming to receive my Civilities with Disdain
shook his Head, and bent his Brows, softly raising up his right
Fore-foot to remove my Hand. Then le neighed three or four
times, but in so different a Cadence, that I almost began to think
he was speaking to himself in some Language of his own.
While He and I were thus employed, another Horse came up;
who applying himself to the first in a very formal Manner, they?y  J.
gently struck each others right Hoof before, neighing several
times by turns, and varying the Sound, which seemed to be almost
articulate. They went some Paces off. as if it were to confer
together, walking Side by Side, backward and forward, like Persons deliberating upon some Affair of Weight, but often turning
their Eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not
escape. I was amazed to see such Actions and Behaviours in
Brute Beasts, and concluded with myself, that if the Inhabitants
of this Country were endued with a proportionable Degree of  t
Reason, they must needs be the wisest People upon Earth. This
Thought gave me so much Comfort, that I resolved to go forward
until I could discover some House or Village, or meet with any




A                     '- t~t6t- f^ L  > 'Y  rCt
26               G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.
of the Natives, leaving the two Horses to discourse together as
they pleased. But the first, who was a Dapple-Gray, observing
me to steal off, neighed after me in so expressive a Tone, that I
fancied myself to understand what he meant; whereupon I turned
back, and came near him, to expect his farther Commands. But
concealing my Fear as much as I could, for I began to be in
some Pain, how this Adventure might terminate; and the Reader
will easily believe I did not much like my present Situation.
The two Horses came up close to me, looking with great
Earnestness upon my Face and Hands. The grey Steed rubbed
my Hat all round with his right Fore-hoof, and discomposed it
so much, that I was forced to adjust it better, by taking it off,
and settling it again; whereat both he and his Companion (who
was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprized, the latter felt
the Lappet of my Coat, and finding it to hang loose about me,
they both looked with new Signs of Wonder. He stroked my
Right-hand, seeming to admire the Softness, and Colour; but he
squeezed it so hard between his Hoof and his Pastern, that I was
forced to roar; after which they both touched me with all
possible Tenderness. They were under great Perplexity about
my Shoes and Stockings, which they felt very often, neighing to
each other, and using various Gestures, not unlike those of a::  ( Philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new and
\ difficult Phoenomenon.
Upon the whole, the Behaviour of these Animals was so
orderly and rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded, they must needs be Magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some design, and seeing a stranger
in the way, were resolved to divert themselves with him; or
perhaps were really amazed at the sight of a Man so very different
in Habit, Feature and Complection from those who might probably live in so remote a Climate. Upon the strength of this
Reasoning, I ventured to address them in the following manner:
Gentlemen, if you be Conjurers, as I have good Cause to believe,
you can understand any Language; therefore I make bold to 1i;
your Worships know, that I am a poor distressed English Ma*.'



A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


26I


driven by his misfortunes upon your Coast, and I entreat one of
you, to let me ride upon his Back, as if he were a real Horse, to
some House or Village, where I can be relieved. In return of
which Favour, I will make you a Present of this Knife and
Bracelet (taking them out of my Pocket). The two Creatures
stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great Attention;
and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each
other, as if they were engaged in serious Conversation. I plainly
observed, that their Language expressed the Passions very well,
and their Words might with little Pains be resolved into an
Alphabet more easily than the Chinese.
I could frequently distinguish the Word Yahoo, which was repeated by each of them several times; and altho' it was impossible
for me to conjecture what it meant; yet while the two Horses were
busy in Conversation, I endeavoured to practice this Word upon
my Tongue; and as soon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced
Yahoo in a loud Voice, imitating, at the same time, as near as I
could, the Neighing of a Horse; at which they were both visibly
surprized, and the Gray repeated the same Word twice, as if he
meant to teach me the right Accent, wherein I spoke after him
as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve every
time, though very far from any Degree of Perfection. Then the
Bay tried me with a second Word, much harder to be pronounced; but reducing it to the English O/rhograph)y, may be
spelt thus, Houyhnhnmss. I did not succeed in this so well as in
the former, but after two or three farther Trials, I had better
fortune; and they both appeared amazed at my Capacity.
After some farther Discourse; which I then conjectured might
relate to me, the two Friends took their Leaves, with the same
Compliment of striking each other's Hoof; and the Gray made
me signs that I should walk before them, wherein I thought it
prudent to comply, till I could find a better Director. When I
offered to slacken my Pace, he would cry Rhuun, Hhuun; I
guessed his meaning, and gave him to understand, as well as I
could, that I was weary, and not able to walk faster; upon which,
he would stand a while to let me rest.




26^


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER     II.
The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his HZouse. The House
described. The Author's Reception. The Food of tlhe Houyhnhnms.  The Author in Distress for WZant of Meat, is at last
relieved. His AManner offeedizg in this Country.
H   AVING travelled about three Miles, we came to a long kind
of Building, made of Timber, stuck in the Ground, and
Wattled a-cross; the Roof was low, and covered with Straw. I
now began to be a little comforted, and took out some Toys,
which Travellers usually carry for Presents to the Savage Indians
of A4merica and other Parts, in hopes the People of the House
would be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly. The Horse
made me a sign to go in first; it was a large Room with a smooth
Clay Floor, and a Rack and Manger extending the whole length
on one side. There were three Nags, and two Mlares, not eating,
but some of them sitting down upon their Hams, which I very
much wondered at; but wondered more to see the rest employed
in domestick Business. They seemed but ordinary Cattle, however this confirmed my first Opinion, that a People who could so
far civilize brute Animals, must needs excel in Wisdom all the
Nations of the World. The Gray came in just after, an(d Itc;reby
prevented any ill Treatment, which the others might have -riven
me. He neighed to them several times in a sty'e of Autr'ority,
and received Answers.
Beyond this Room there were three others, reachinig the lenmt-i
of the House, to which you passed through three Doors opposite
to each other, in the manner of a Vista; we went throurh tie
second Room towards the third, here the Gray wal.-;d in first,




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMIS.


263


beckoning me to attend: I waked in the second Room, and got
ready my Presents, for the Master and Mistress of the House:
They were two Knives, three Bracelets of false Pearl, a small
Looking-glass and a Bead Necklace. The Horse neighed three
or four times, and I waited to hear some Answers in a human
Voice, but I observed no other Returns, than in the same Dialect,
only one or two a little shriller, than his. I began to think that
this House must belong to some Person of great Note among
them, because there appeared so much Ceremony before I could
gain Admittance. But, that a Man of Quality should be served
all by Horses, was beyond my Comprehension. I feared my
Brain was disturbed by my Sufferings and Misfortunes: I roused
my self, and looked about me in the Room where I was left
alone; this was furnished like the first, only after a more elegant
manner. I rubbed my Eyes often, but the same Objects still
occurred. I pinched my Arms and Sides to awake myself, hoping
I might be in a Dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all
these Appearances could be nothing else but Necromancy and
5Magick. But I had no time to pursue these Reflections; for the
Gray Horse came to the Door, and made me a sign to follow him
into the third Room, where I saw a very comely Mare, together
with a Colt and Fole, sitting up on their Haunches, upon Matts
of Straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.
The Mare soon after my Entrance, rose from her Matt, and
coming up close, after having nicely observed my Hands and
Face, gave me a most contemptuous Look; then turning to the
Horse, I heard the word Yahoo often repeated betwixt them; the
meaning of which word I could not then comprehend, although
it were the first I had learned to pronounce; but I was soon
better informed, to my everlasting Mortification: For the Horse
beckning to me with his Head, and repeating the word Hhuun,
]huzun, as he did upon the Road, which I understood was to
attend him, led me out into a kind of Court, where was another
Building at some Distance from the House. Here we enter'd,
and I saw three of these detestable Creatures, whom I first met
after my Landing, feeding upon Roots, and the Flesh of some




264


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Animals, which I afterwards found to be that of Asses and Dogs,
and now and then a Cow dead by Accident or Disease. They
were all tyed by the Neck with strong Wyths fastened to a Beam;
they held their Food between the Claws of their Fore-feet, and
tore it with their Teeth.
The Master Horse ordered a Sorrel Nag, one of his Servants,
to untie the largest of these Animals, and take him into the Yard.
The Beast and I were brought close together; and our Countenances diligently compared, both by Master and Servantr,who
thereupon repeated several times the word Yahoo. My Horror
and Astonishment are not to be described, when I observed, in
this abominable Animal, a perfect human Figure; the Face of it
indeed was flat and broad, the Nose depressed, the Lips large,
and the Mouth wide. OFut these Differences are common to all
Savage Nations, where the Lineaments of the Countenance are
distorted by the Natives suffering their Infants to lie grovelling
on the Earth, or by carrying them on their Backs, nuzzling with
their Face against the Mother's Shoulders. The Fore-feet of the
Yahoo differed from my Hands in nothing else, but the Length
of the Nails, the Coarseness and Brownness of the Palms, and
the Hairiness on the Backs. There was the same Resemblance
between our Feet, with the same Differences, which I knew very
well, tho' the Horses did not, because of my Shoes and Stockings;
the same in every Part of our Bodies, except as to Hairiness and
Colour, which I have already described.
The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two Horses,
was, to see the rest of my Body so very different from that of a
Yahoo, for which I was obliged to my cloaths, whereof they had
no Conception: The Sorrel Nag offered me a Root, which he
held (after their manner, as we shall describe in its proper place)
between his Hoof and Pastern; I took it in my Hand, and having
smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He
brought out of the Yahoo's Kennel a piece of Ass's Flesh, but it
smelt so offensively that I turned from it with loathing; he then
threw it to the Yahoo, by whom it was greedily devoured. He
afterwards shewed me a Whisp of Hay, and a Fetlock full of




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


265


Oats; but I shook my Head, to signify, that neither of these were
Food for me. And indeed, I now apprehended, that I must
absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own Species:
For as to those filthy Yaloos, although there were few greater
Lovers of Mankind, at that time, than myself; yet I confess I
never saw any sensitive Being so detestable on all accounts; and
the more I came near them, the more hateful they grew, while I
staid in that Country. This the Master Horse observed by my
Behaviour, and therefore sent the Yahoo back to his Kennel.
He then put his Fore-hoof to his Mouth, at which I was much
surprized, although he did it with Ease, and with a Motion that
appeared perfectly natural, and made other signs to know what I
would eat; but I could not return him such an answer as he was
able to apprehend; and if he had understood me, I did not see
how it was possible to contrive any way for finding myself Nourishment. While we were thus engaged, I observed a Cow passing
by, whereupon I pointed to her, and expressed a Desire to let me
go and milk her. This had its Effect; for he led me back into
the House, and ordered a Mare-Servant to open a Room, where a
good store of Milk lay in Earthen and Wooden Vessels, after a
very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a large Bowl
full, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself well
refreshed.
About Noon I saw coming towards the House a kind of Vehicle
drawn like a Sledge by Four Ya/oos. There was in it an old
Steed, who seemed to be of Quality, he alighted with his Hindfeet forward, having by Accident got a Hurt in his Left Fore-foot.
He came to dine with our Horse, who received him with great
Civility. They dined in the best Room, and had Oats boiled in
Milk for the second Course, which the old Horse eat warm, but
the rest cold. Their Mangers were placed circular in the middle
of the Room, and divided into several Partitions, round which
they sate on their Haunches upon Bosses of Straw. In the
middle was a large Rack with Angles answering to every Partition
of the Manger. So that each Horse and Mare eat their own
Hay, and their own Mash of Oats and Milk, with much Decency




266


G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


and Regularity. The Behaviour of the young Colt and Fole
appeared very modest, and that of the Master and Mistress extremely chearful and complaisant to their Guest. The Grey
ordered me to stand by him, and much Discourse passed between
him and his Friend concerning me, as I found by the Stranger's
often looking on me, and the frequent Repetition of the Word
Yahoo.
I happened to wear my Gloves, which the Master-Gray observing, seemed perplexed, discovering signs of Wonder what I
had done to my Fore-feet; he put his Hoof three or four times
to them, as if he would signify, that I should reduce them to their
former Shape, which I presently did, pulling off both ny Gloves,
and putting them into my Pocket. This occasioned farther Talk,
and I saw the Company was pleased with my Behaviour, whereof
I soon found the good Effects. I was ordered to speak the few
Words I understood, arid while they were at Dinner, the Master
taught me the Names for Oats, Milk, Fire, Water, and some
others; which I could readily pronounce after him, having from
my Youth a great Facility in learning Languages.
When Dinner was done, the Master Horse took me aside, and
by signs and wonders made me understand the Concern that he
was in, that I had nothing to eat. Oats in their Tongue are
called /hluinh. This Word I pronounced two or three times; for
although I had refused them at first, yet upon second Thoughts,
I considered that I could contrive to make of them a kind of Bread,
which might be sufficient with Milk to keep me alive, till I could
make my Escape to some other Country, and to Creatures of my
own species. The Horse immediately ordered a White Mfareservant of his Family to bring me a good Quantity of Oats in a
sort of Wooden Tray. These I heated before the Fire as well as
I could, and rubbed them till the Husks came off which I made
a shift to winnow from the Grain; I ground and beat them
between two Stones, then took Water, and made them into a
Paste or Cake, which I toasted at the Fire, and eat warm with
Milk. It was at first a very insipid Diet, though common enough
'-j-   in many Parts of Eurofe, but grew tolerable by Time; and having
7




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYNHNHNS.


267


been often reduced to hard Fare in my Life, this was not the first
Experiment I had made how easily Nature is satisfied. And I
cannot but observe, that I never had one Hour's Sickness, while
I staid in this Island. 'Tis true, I sometimes made a shift to
catch a Rabbet, or Bird, by Springes, made of Ya/ioos Hair, and
I often gathered wholesome Herbs, which I boiled, or eat as
Salads with my Bread, and now and then, for a Rarity, I made
a little Butter, and drank the Whey. I was at first at a great loss
for Salt; but Custom soon reconciled the want of it; and I am
confident that the frequent use of Salt among us, is an Effect of
Luxury, and was first introduced only as a Provocative to Drink;
except where it is necessary for preserving of Flesh in long Voyages, or in Places remote from great 5Markets. For we observe
no Animal to be fond of it but Man: And as to myself, when
I left this Country, it was a great while before I could endure the
Taste of it in any thing that I eat.
This is enough to say upon the Subject of my Dyet, wherewith
other Travellers fill their Books, as if the Readers were personally
concerned, whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention this Matter, lest the World should think it impossible that I could find Sustenance for three Years in such a Country,
and among such Inhabitants.
When it grew towards Evening, the Master Horse ordered
a Place for me to lodge in: it was but Six Yards from the House,
and separated from the Stable of the 'Yahoos. Here I got some
Straw, and covering myself with my own Cloaths, slept very sound.
But I was in a short time better accommodated, as the Reader
shall know hereafter, when I come to treat more particularly
about my way of living.




268


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER III.
The Author studious to learn the Language, the Houyhnhnm,
his Alaster assists in teaching him.  The Language described.
Several Houyhnhnms of Quality come out of Curiosity to see
the Aulhor.  He gives his Master a short Account of his
Voyage.
M   Y principal Endeavour was to learn the Language, which
my Master (for so I shall henceforth call him) and his
Children, and every Servant of his House were desirous to teach
me. For they looked upon it as a Prodigy that a brute Animal
should discover such Marks of a rational Creature. I pointed to
every thing, and enquired the Name of it, which I wrote down in
my Journal Book when I was alone, and corrected my bad Accent,
by desiring those of the Family to pronounce it often. In this
Employment, a Sorrel Nag, one of the under Servants, was very
ready to assist me.
In speaking, they pronounce through the Nose and Throat,
and their Language approaches nearest to the ffigh-Dutch or
German, of any I know in Europe; but is much more graceful
and significant. The Emperor Charles V. made almost the same
Observation, when he said, That if he were to speak to his Horse,
it should be in Hiagh-Dutch.
The Curiosity and Impatience of my Master were so great,
that he spent many Hours of his Leisure to instruct me. He was
convinced (as he afterwards told me) that I must be a Y'ahoo,
but my Teachableness, Civility and Cleanliness astonished him;
which were Qualities altogether so opposite to those Animals, he
was most perplexed about my Cloaths, reasoning sometimes with




'    i" iS if o
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNIS.                 269
himself, whether they were a part of my Body; for I never pulled
them off till the Family were asleep, and got them on before they
waked in the Morning. My Master was eager to learn from
whence I came, how I acquired those Appearances of Reason,
which I discovered in all my Actions, and to know my Story from
my own Mouth, which he hoped he should soon do by the great
Proficiency I made in learning and pronouncing their Words and
Sentences. To help my Memory, I formed all I learned into the
English Alphabet, and writ the Words down with the Translations. This last, after some time, I ventured to do in my Master's
Presence. It cost me much Trouble to explain to him what I was
doing; for the Inhabitants have not the least Idea of Books and
Literature.
In about Ten Weeks time I was able to understand most of his
Questions, and in three Months could give him some tolerable
Answers, he was extremely curious to know from what Part of
the Country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a rational
Creature, because the Yahoos, (whom he saw I exactly resembled
in my Head, Hands and Face, that were only visible,) with some
appearance of Cunning, and the strongest Disposition to Mischief,
were observed to be the most unteachable of all Brutes. I answered, That I came over the Sea, from a far Place, with many
others of my own Kind, in a great hollow Vessel made of the
Bodies of Trees. That my Companions forced me to land on
this Coast, and then left me to shift for myself. It was with some
Difficulty, and by the help of many Signs, that I brought him to
understand me. He replied, That I must needs be mistaken, or
that I said the Tihing which was not. For they have no Word in
their Language to express Lying or Falsehood. He knew it was
impossible that there could be a Country beyond the Sea, or that
a parcel of Brutes could move a Wooden Vessel whither they
pleased upon Water. Ife was sure no Houyhnhnm alive could
make such a Vessel, nor would trust Yahoos to manage it.
The Word Hyhuh       -eir   Tongue, signifies a Horse, and
in its Etymology, The Perfection of Nature. I   toliIy Master,
that I was at a loss for Expression, btwould improve as fast as I


J -
'?w
4'.4




270


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


could; and hoped in a short time I should be able to tell him
Wonders: He was pleased to direct his own Mare, his Colt and
Fole, and the Servants of the Family to take all Opportunities of
instructing me, and every Day for two or three Hours, he was at
the same Pains himself: Several Horses and Mares of Quality in
the Neighbourhood came often to our House upon the Report
spread of a wonderful Yahoo, that could speak like a Houyhnh/im,
and seemed in his Words and Actions to discover some Glimmerings of Reason. These delighted to converse with me; they put
many Questions, and received such Answers, as I was able to\
return. By all these Advantages, I made so great a Progress,
that in five Months from my Arrival, I understood whatever was
spoke, and could express myself tolerably well.
The HouyknhZnms who came to visit my Master, out of a
Design of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me
to be a right Yahoo, because my Body had a different Covering
from others of my Kind. They were astonished to observe me
without the usual Hair or Skin, except on my Head, Face and
Hands; but I discovered that Secret to my Master, upon an
Accident, which happened about a Fortnight before.
I have already told the Reader, that every Night when the
Family were gone to Bed, it was my Custom, to strip and cover
myself with my Cloaths: It happened one Morning early, that
my Master sent for me, by the Sorrel Nag, who was his Valet
when he came, I was fast asleep, my Cloaths fallen off on one
side, and my Shirt above my Waste. I awaked at the Noise he
made, and observed him to deliver his Message in some Disorder;
after which he went to my Master, and in a great Fright gave
him a very confused Account of what he had seen: This I
presently discovered; for going as soon as I was dressed, to pay
my Attendance upon his Honour, he asked me the meaning of
what his Servant had reported, that I was not the same Thing
when I slept as I appeared to be at other times; that his Valet
assured him, some part of me was White, some Yellow, at least
not so White, and some Brown.
I had hitherto concealed the Secret of my Dress, in order to




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMSS.


27I


distinguish myself as much as I could from the cursed Race of
Ya/hoos; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides,
I considered that my Cloaths and Shoes would soon wear out,
which already were in a declining Condition, and must be supplied
by some Contrivance froml the Hides of Ya/oos or other Brutes;
whereby the whole Secret would be known: I therefore told my
Mlaster, That in the Country from whence I came, those of my
kind always covered their Bodies with the Hairs of certain
Animals prepared by Art, as well for Decency, as to avoid the
Inclemencies of Air both hot and cold; of which, as to my own
Person I would give him immediate Conviction, if he pleased to
command me; only desiring his Excuse, if I did not expose those
Parts, that Nature taught us to conceal. He said my Discourse
was all very strange, but especially the last part; for he could not
understand why Natliu should teach us to conceal what Nature
had given. That neither himself nor Family were ashamed of
an   artsof their Bodies; but however I might do as I pleased.
Whereupon, I first unbuttoned my Coat, and pulled it off. I did
the same with my Waste-coat; I drew off my Shoes, Stockings
and Breeches. I let my Shirt down to my Waste, and drew up
the Bottom, fastning it like a Girdle about my middle to hide my
Nakedness.
My Master observed the whole Performance with great Signs
of Curiosity and Admiration. He took up all my Cloaths in his
Pastern, one Piece after another, and examined them diligently;
he then streaked my Body very gently, and looked round me
several times, after which he said, it was plain I must be a perfectIah/oo; but that I differed very much from the rest of my Species,
in the Softness, and Whiteness and Smoothness of my Skin, my
want of Hair in several Parts of my Body, the shape and shortness
of my Claws behind and before, and my affectation of walking
continually on my two Hinder-feet. He desired to see no more,
and gave me leave to put on my Cloaths again, for I was shuddering with Cold.
I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the Appellation of Yahoo, an odious Animal, for which I had so utter an


-T




272


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Hatred and Contempt, I begged he would forbear applying that
WIord to me, and take the same Order in his Family, and among
his Friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise,
that the Secret of having a false Covering to my Body might
be known to none but Himself, at least as long as my present
Cloathing should last; for, as to what the Sorrel Nag his Valet
had observed, his Honour might command him to conceal it.
All this my Master very graciously consented to, and thus the
Secret was kept till my Cloaths began to wear out, which I was
forced to supply by several Contrivances, that shall hereafter be
mentioned. In the mean time, he desired I would go on with
my utmost Diligence to learn their Language, because he was
more astonished at my Capacity for Speech and Reason, than at
the Figure of my Body, whether it were covered or no; adding,
that he waited with some Impatience to hear the Wonders which
I promised to tell him.
From thenceforward he doubled the Pains he had been at to
instruct me; he brought me into all Company, and made them
treat me with Civility, because, as he told them privately, this
would put me into good Humour, and make me more diverting.
Every Day when I waited on him, beside the Trouble he was
at in teaching, he would ask me several Questions concerning
myself, which I answered as well as I could; and by these means
he had already received some general Ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate tie several Steps, by which I
advanced to a more regular Conversation: But the first Account
I gave of myself in any Order and Length, was to this purpose:
That I came from a very far Country, as I had already attempted
to tell him with about Fifty more of my own Species; that we
travelled upon the Seas, in a great hollow Vessel made of Wood,
and larger than his Honour's House. I described the Ship to
him in the best terms I could, and explained by the help of my
Handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the Wind.
That upon a Quarrel among us, I was set on shore on this Coast,
where I walked forward without knowing whither, till he delivered
me from the Persecution of those execrable Ya/oos. He asked




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


273


me, Who made the Ship, and how it was possible that the
Hoziyhnhzinms of my Country would leave it to the Management
of Brutes? My Answer was, That I durst proceed no farther in
my Relation, unless he would give me his Word and Honour that
he would not be offended, and then I would tell him the Wonders
I had so often promised. He agreed; and I went on by assuring
him, that the Ship was made by Creatures like myself, who in all
the Countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, were the
only governing, rational Animals; and that upon my Arrival
hither, I was as much astonished to see the Houyinhnims act like
rational Beings, as he or his Friends could be in finding some
Marks of Reason in a Creature he was pleased to call a Yahoo,
to which I owned my Resemblance in every Part, but could not
account for their degenerate and brutal Nature. I said farther,
That if good Fortune ever restored me to my native Country, to
relate my Travels hither, as I resolved to do, every body would
believe that I said thie Thing which eias io /; that I invented the
Story out of my own Head; and with all possible respect to
Himself, his Family, and Friends, and under his Promise of not
being offended, our Countrymen would hardly think it probable,
that a Rouyhnh~im should be the presiding Creature of a Nation,
and a Yahoo the Brute.


s




274


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER IV.
The Houyhnhnms NAotion of_ Ttlh and Falsehood.  The Author's
Discourse disapproved by his Maslter. --- -Tl'-hAlhor gives a
more particular Account of himself, and the Accidents of his
Voyage.
[TY Master heard me with great appearances of Uneasiness in
his Countenance, because Doubtiong or not believin, are
so little known in this Country, that the Inhabitants cannot tell
how to behave themselves under such Circumstances.  And I
remember in frequent Discourses with my Master concerning the
Nature of Manhood, in other Parts of the World, having occasion
to talk of Lyig,, and false Representation, it was with much Difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although he had
otherwise a most acute Judgment. For he argued thus: That
the Use of Speech was to make us understand one another, and
to receive Information of Facts; now if any one said fthe7Thinl
which cas not, those Ends were Defeated; because I cannot properly be said to understand him, and I am so far fiom receiving
Information, that he leaves me worse than in Ignorance, for I am
led to believe a Thing Black when it is White, and Short when it
is Long. And these were all the Notions he had concerning that
Faculty of Lying, so perfectly well understood among human
Creatures.
To return from this Digression; when I asserted that the
Yahoos were the only governing Animals in my Country, which
my Master said was altogether past his Conception, he desired to
know, whether we had Houyhnhnms among us, and what was
their Employment: I told him, we had great Numbers, that in




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


275


Summer they grazed in the Fields, and in Winter were kept in
Houses, with Hay and Oats, when Yt/aoo-Servants were employed
to rub their Skins smooth, comb their Manes, pick their Feet,
serve them with Food, and make their Beds. I understand you
well, said my Master, it is now very plain, from all you have spoken,
that whatever share of Reason the Yahoos pretended to, the
Houyhn/inms are your Masters; I heartily wish our Yahoos
would be so tractable.  I begged his Honour would please to
excuse me from proceeding any farther, because I was very certain that the Account he expected from me would be highly
displeasing. But he insisted in commanding me to let him know
the best and the worst: I told him, he should be obeyed. I
owned, that the Houy/hnh/ ms among us, whom we called Horsesd
were the most generous and comely Animal we had, that they
excelled in Strength and Swiftness; and when they belonged to
Persons of Quality, employed in Travelling, Racing, or drawing
Chariots, they were treated with much Kindness and Care, till
they fell into Diseases, or became foundred in the Feet; and
then they were sold, and used to all kind of Drudgery till they
died; after which their Skins were stripped and sold for what
they were worth, and their Bodies left to be devoured by Dogs
and Birds of Prey. But the common Race of Horses had not so
good Fortune, being kept by Farmers and Carriers and other
mean People, who put them to greater Labour, and feed them
worse. I described as well as I could, our way of Riding, the
shape and use of a Bridle, a Saddle, a Spur, and a Whip, of Harness and Wheels. I added, that we fastned Plates of a certain
hard Substance called Iron at the Bottom of their Feet, to preserve their Hoofs from being broken by the Stony Ways on which
we often travelled.
My Master, after some Expressions of great Indignation, wondered how we dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnms's Back, for
he was sure, that the meanest Servant in his House would be
able to shake off the strongest Yahoo, or by lying down, and
rouling on his Back, squeeze the Brute to Death. I answered,
That our Horses were trained up from three or four Years old to




276


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


the several Uses we intended them for; That if any of them
proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for Carriages;
that they were severely beaten while they were young, for any mischievous Tricks: That the Males, designed for common Use of
Riding or Draught, were generally castrated about two Years after
their Birth, to take down their Spirits, and make them more tame
and gentle; that they were indeed sensible of Rewards and
Punishments; but his Honour would please to consider, that
they had not the least Tincture of Reason any more than the
Yahoos in this Country.
It put me to the Pains of many circumlocutions to give my
Master a right Idea of what I spoke; for their Language doth
not abound in Variety of Words, because their Wants and
Passions are fewer than among us. But it is impossible to repeat
his noble Resentment at our savage Treatment of the Houyhnhnm
Race, particularly after I had explained the Manner and Use of
castrating Horses among us, to hinder them from propagating
their Kind, and to render them more servile. He said, if it were
possible there could be any Country where Yahoos alone were
endued with Reason, the)y certainly must be the governing Animal,
because Reason will in time always prevail against Brutal Strength.
But, considering the Frame of our Bodies, and especially of mine,
he thought' no Creature of equal Bulk was so ill contrived, for
employing that Reason in the common Office of Life; whereupon
he desired to know whether those among whom I lived, resembled
me or th  e '-    is Country. I assured him, that I was as
well shaped as most of my Age: but the younger and the females
were much more soft and tender, and the Skins of the latter
generally as White as Milk. He said, I differed indeed from other
Yahoos, being much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed,
but in point of real Advantage, he thought I differed for the worse.
That my Nails were of no Use either to my Fore or Hinder-Feet:
As to my Fore-Feet he could not properly call them by that Name,
for he never observed me to walk upon them; that they were too
soft to bear the Ground; that I generally went with them uncovered, neither was the Covering I sometimes wore on them, of




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


2"7 7


the same Shape, or so strong as that on my Feet behind. That I
could not walk with any Security for if either of- my Hinder-Feet
slipped, I must inevitably fall. He then began to find fault with
other Parts of my Body, the Flatness of my Face, the Prominence
of my Nose, mine Eyes placed directly in the Front, so that I
could not look on either Side without turning my Head: That I
was not able to feed myself, without lifting my Fore-Feet to my
Mouth: And therefore Nature had placed those Joints to answer
that Necessity. He knew not what could be the Use of those
several Clefts and Divisions in my Feet behind, that these were
too soft to bear the Hardness and Sharpness of Stones without a
Covering made from the Skin of some other Brute; that my
whole Body wanted a Fence against Heat and Cold, which I was
forced to put on and off every Day with Tediousness and Trouble.
And lastly, that lhe observed every Animal in this Country naturally to abhor the Yahoos, whom the Weaker avoided, and the
Stronger drove from them. So that supposing us to have the-'
Gift of Reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that
natural Antipathy which every Creature discovered against us;
nor consequently, how we could tame and render them serviceable.
However, he would (as he said) debate the Matter no farther,
because he was more desirous to know my own Story, the
Country where I was born, and the several Actions- and Events
of my Life before I came hither.
I assured him, how extremely desirous I was that he should be
satisfied in every Point; but I doubted much, whether it would
be possible for me to explain myself on several Subjects whereof
his Honour could have no Conception, because I saw nothing in
his Country to which I could resemble them. That however, I
would do my best, and strive to express myself by Similitudes,
humbly desiring his Assistance when I wanted proper words;
which he was pleased to promise me.
I said, my Birth was of honest Parents in an Island called
Enozland, which was remote from this Country, as many Days
Journey as the strongest of his Honour's Servants could travel in
the Annual Course of the Sun. That I was bred a Surgeon,




278


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


whose Trade is to cure Wounds and Hurts in the Body, got by
Accident or Violence; that my Country was governed by a
Female Man, whom we called Qucen. That I left it to get
Riches, whereby I might maintain myself and Family when I
should return. That in my last Voyage I was Commander of the
Ship, and had about fifty Ya/oos under me, many of which died
at Sea, and I was forced to supply them by others picked out
from several Nations. That our Ship was twice in Danger of
being sunk; the first time by —great Storm, and the second, by
striking against a Rock. Here my Master interposed, by asking
me, how I could persuade Strangers out of different Countries to
venture with me, after the Losses I had sustained, and the
Hazards I had run.  I said, they were Fellows of desperate
Fortunes forced to fly from the Places of their Birth, on account
of their Poverty or their Crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits; others spent all they had in Drinking, Whoring and.
Gaming; others fled for Treason; many for Murder, Theft,
Poysoning, Robbery, Perjury, Forgery, Coining false Money, for
committing Rapes or Sodomy, for flying from their Colours, or
deserting to the Enemy, and most of them had broken Prison;
none of these durst return to their Native Countries for fear of
being hanged, or of starving in a Jail; and therefore were under
a necessity of seeking a Livelihood in other Places.
During this Discourse, my Master was pleased to interrupt
me several Times; I had made use of many Circumlocutions in
describing to him the Nature of the several Crimes, for which
most of our Crew had been forced to fly their Country. This
Labour took up several Days Conversation before he was able to
comprehend me. He was wholly at a Loss to know what could
be the Use or Necessity of Practising those Vices. To clear up
which I endeavoured to give him some Ideas of the Desire of
Power and Riches, of the terrible Effects of Lust, Intemperance,
Malice and Envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by
putting of Cases, and making of Suppositions. After which, like
one whose Imagination was struck with something never seenz or
heard of before, he would lift up his Eyes with Amazement and




A V'OYAGE TO TI;E IIO UYHNS-N1S\.       279
Indignation. Power, Government, \\ar, Law, Punishment, and
a Thousand other Things had no Terms, wherein that Language
could express them, which made the Difficulty almost insuperable to give my Master any Conception of what I meant. But
being of an excellent Understanding, much improved by Contemplation and Converse, he at last arrived at a competent
Knowledge of what Human Nature in our Parts of the World
is capable to perform, and desired I would give him some particular Account of that Land, which we call Eurvioe, but especially
of my own Country.




GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER V.
The Author at his Acaster's Commands informs him of the State of
England. The Causes of War among the Princes of Europe.
The Author begins to explain the English Constitution.
THE Reader may please to observe, that the following Extract
of many Conversations I had with my Master, contains a
Summary of the most material Points, of which were discoursed
at several times for above Two Years; his Honour often desiring
fuller Satisfaction as I further improved in the Hozuyhnhnm
Tongue. I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole State
of Eurozpe; I discoursed of Trade and Manufactures, of Arts and
Sciences; and the Answers I gave to all the Questions he made,
as they arose upon several Subjects, were a Fund of Conversation
not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the Substance of what passed between us concerning my own Country,
S. reducing it into Order as well as I can, without any Regard to
i  %'ime or other Circumstances, while I strictly adhere to Tcuth.
4v     / /  My only Concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do Justice( to
my Master's Arguments and Expressions, which must needs suffer
by my want of capacity, as well as by a Translation into our
d       barbarous Englih.
In Obedience therefore to his Honour's Commands, I related to
him the Revolution under the Prince of Orang-e, the long War
with France entered into by the said Prince, and renewed by his
Successor the present Queen; wherein the greatest Powers of
Christendom were engaged, and which still continued: I computed at his Request, that about a Million of Yalhoos might have
been killed in the whole Progress of it, and perhaps a Hundred




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMIS.


28I


or moie Cities taken. and thrice as many Shills burnt or
sunk.
He asked me what were the usual Causes or Motives that
made one Country go to War with another.   I answered they
were innumerable, but I should only mention a few of the chief.
Sometimes the Ambition of Prins, who never think they have
Iand or People enough to govern: Sometimes the Corruption of
Mis.,who engage their [Master in a War in order to stifle or
divert the Clamour of the Subjects against their Evil Administration. Difference in Opinions hath cost many Millions of Lives:
For instance, whether Ficsh be Bread, or h'read be cFlesh;
whether the Juice of a certain Berry be Blood or Ul'ine; whether
lWhistling, be a Vice or a Virtue; whether it be better to kiss a
post, or throw it into the Fire; what is the best Colour for a
Coat, whether Black, (Vhlife, Red or Gray; and whether it should
be long or short, narrow or wzite, dirty or clean, with many more.
Neither are any Wars so furious and Bloody, or of so long Continuance, as those occasioned by Difference in Opi incially
if it be in things indifferent.
Sometimes the Quarrel between two Princes is to decide which
of them shall dispossess a Third of his Dominions, where neither
of them pretend to any Right. Sometimes one Prince quarrelleth
with another, for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a War is entered upon, because the Enemy is too strong,
and sometimes because he is too weak. Sometimes our Neighbours want the Things which we /have, or have the Things which
we want, and we both fight, till they take ours or give us theirs.
It is a very justifiable Cause of WAar to invade a Country after
the People have been wasted by Famine, destroyed by Pestilence,
or embroiled by Factions among themselves. It is justifiable to
enter into War against our nearest Ally, when one of his Towns
lies convenient for us, or a Territory of Land, that would render
our Dominions round and compleat. If a Prince sends Forces
into a Nation, where the People -are poor and ignorant, he may
lawfully put half of them to Death, and make Slaves of the rest,
in order to civilize and reduce them from their barbarous Way


('jS
I.' It




282


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


I
it


of Living. It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent Practice,
when one Prince desires the Assistance of another to secure
him against an Invasion, that the Assistant, when he hath driven
out the Invader, should seize on the Dominions himself, and kill,
imprison or banish the Prince he came to relieve. Allyance by
Blood or Marriage, is a frequent Cause of War between Princes,
and the nearer the Kindred is, the greater is their Disposition to
quarrel: Poor Nations are hungoy, and rich Nations are promd,
and Pride and Hunger will ever be at Variance. For those
Reasons, the Trade of a Soldier is held the most honourable of
all others: Because a Soldier is a Yazoo hired to kill in cold
Blood as many of his own Species, who have never offended him,
as possibly he can.
There are likewise another Kind of Princes in lEuropce, not
able to make War by themselves, who hire out their Troops to
richer Nations, for so much a Day to each Man; of which they
keep three fourths to themselves, and it is the best part of their
Maintenance; such are those in many ANorthern/ Parts of Europe.
What you have told me, (said my Master) upon the Subject of
War, does indeed discover most adm-irably the Effects of that
Reason you pretend to: However, it is happy that the Shame is
greater than the Danger; and that Nature hath left you utterly
uncapable of doing much Mischief.
For your Mouths lying flat with your Faces, you can hardly
bite each other to any lurpose, unless by Consent. Then as to
the Claws upon your Feet before and behind, they are so short
and tender that one of our Yzahoos would drive a dozen of yours
before him. And therefore in recounting the Numbers of those
who have been killed in Battle, I cannot but think that you have
said the T/Zinh t/hat is not.
I could not forbear shaking my Head and smiling a little a:
his Ignorance. And being no Stranger to the Art of War, I gavhim a Description of Cannons, Culverins, Muskets, Carabine:
Pistols, Bullets, Powder, Swords, Bayonets, Sieges, Retreat
Attacks, Undermines, Countermines, Bombardments, Sea-fights
Ships sunk with a Thousand Men, Twenty thousand killed c


i I




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNH.XMS.


283


each Side; dying Groans, Limbs flying in the Air, Smoak, Noise,
Confusion, trampling to Death under Horses Feet; Flight, Pursuit, Victory; Fields strewed with Carcasses left for Food to
Dogs, and Wolves, and Birds of Prey; Plundering, Stripping,
Ravishing, Burning, and Destroying. And to set forth the Valor ^
of my own dear Countrymen, I assured him, that I had seen
them blow up a Hundred Enemies at once in a Siege, and as
many in a Ship, and beheld the (lead Bodies come down in
pieces from the Clouds, to the great Diversion of the Spectators..
I was going on to more Particulars, when my Master commanded
me Silence. He said, Whoever understood the Nature of Ya/ioos
might easily believe it possible for so vile an Animal, to be capable
of every Action I had named, if their Strength and Cunning
equalled their Malice. But as my Discourse had increased his
Abhorrence of the whole Species, so he found it gave him a
Disturbance in his Mind, to which he was wholly a Stranger
iefore. He thought his Ears being used to such abominable
Words, might by Degrees admit them with less Detestation. That
although he hated the 'Yahoos of this Country, yet he no more
blamled them for their odious Qualities, than he did a Gnnayh/
(a Bird of Prey) for its Cruelty, or a sharp Stone for cutting my
Hoof. But when a Creature pretending to Reason, could be
capable of such Enormities, he dreaded le:st the Corruption of
that Faculty might be worse than Brutality itself. He seemed
therefore confident, tiat instead of Reason, we were only possessed of some Quality fitted to increase our natural Vices; as
the Reflection from a troubled Stream returns the Image of an
ill-shapen Body, not only la-rger, but more distorled.
He added, That he had heard too much upon the Subject of
War, both in this, and some former Discourses. There was
a"' itier Point which a little perplexed him at present. I had
informed him, that some of our Crew left their Country on
account of being ruined bl.Za, that I had already explained
the meaning of the Word; but he was a Loss how it should come
to pass, that the Lavw which was intended for every Man's Preservation, should be any Man's Ruin. Therefore he desired to




284


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


be farther satisfied what I meant by Law, and what sort of Dispensers thereof it could be by whose Practices the Property of
any Person could be lost, instead of being preserved. He added,
he saw not what great Occasion there could be for this thing
called Law, since all the Intentions and Purposes of it may be
fully answered by following the Dictates of Natlre and Reason,
which are sufficient Guides for a Reasonable Animal, as we pretended to be, in shewing us what we ought to do, and what to
t )       avoid.
I assured his Honour, that Law was a Science wherein I had
not much conversed, having little more Knowledge of it than
what I had obtained by employing Advocates, in vain, upon some
Injustices that had been done me, and by conversing with some
other who by the same Method had first lost their Substance, and
then left their own Country under the Mortification of such Disappointments, however I would give him all the Satisfaction I
was able.
I said that those who made profession of this Science were
exceedingly multiplied, being almost equal to the Caterpillars in
Number; that they were of divers Degrees, Distinctions, and
Denominations. The Numerousness of those that dedicated
themselves to this Profession were such that the fair and justifiable
Advantage and Income of the Professibn was not sufficient for
the decent and handsome Maintenance of Multitudes of those
who followed it. Hence it came to pass that it was found needfull to supply that by Artifice and Cunning, which could not be
procured by just and honest Methods: The better to bring which
about, very many Men among us were bred up from their Youth
in the Art of proving by Words multiplied for the Purpose that
hiiie is Black, and Black is White, according as they are paid.
The Greatness of these Mens Assurance and the Boldness of
their Pretensions gained upon the Opinion of the Vulgar, whom
in a Manner they made Slaves of, and got into their Hands much
the larger Share of the Practice of their Profession. These
Practitioners were by Men of Discernment called Pettifoggers,
(that is, Confounders, or rather, Destroyers of Right,) as it was my




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


285


ill Hap as well as the Misfortune of my suffering Acquaintance to
be engaged only with this Species of the Profession. I desired
his Honour to understand the Description I had to give, and the
Ruin I had complained of to relate to these Sectaries only, and
how and by what means the Misfortunes we met with were
brought upon us by the Management of these Men, might be
more easily conceived by explaining to him tieir Method of
Proceeding, which could not be better down than by giving him
an Example.
My Neighbour, said I, I will suppose, has a mind to my
Cow, he hires one of these Advocates to prove that he ought
to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another of them
to defend my Right, it being against all Rules of Law that
any Man should be allowed to speak for himself. Now in this
case, I who am the Right Owner lie under two great Disadvantages. First, my Advocate, being as I said before practised
almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood, is quite out of his
Element when he would argue for Right, which as an Office
unnatural he attempts with great Awkwardness, if not with an
Ill-will. The Second Disadvantage is that my Advocate must
proceed with great Caution; for, since the Maintenance of so
many depend on the keeping up of Business, should he proceed
too summarily, if he does not incur the Displeasure of his Superiors, he is sure to gain the Ill-wiil and hatred of his Brethren,
as being by them esteemed one tiat would lessen the Practice of
the Law. This being the Case, I have but two Methods to preserve my Cow. The first is, to gain over my Adversary's Advocate
with a double Fee; from the Manner and Design of whose Education before mentioned it is easy to expect he will be induced to
drop his Client and let the Balance fall to my Side. The Second
Way is for my Advocate not to insist on the Justice of my Cause,
by allowing the Cow to belong to my Adversary; and this if it be
dexterously and skilfully done will go a great Way towards obtaining a favourable Verdict, it having been found, from a careful  t;
Observation of Issues and Events, that the wrong Side, under\y "
the Manaoementj;f such Practitioners, has the fairer Chance for




286


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


success, and this more especially if it happens, as it did in mine
and my Friend's Case, and may have done since, that the Person
appointed to decide all Controversies of Propriety as well as for
the Tryal of Criminals, who should be taken out of the most
knowing and wise- of his Profession, is by the Recommendation of
a great Favourite, or Court-Mistress chosen out of the Sect before
mentioned, and so, having been under a strange Biass all his Life
against Equity and fair dealing, lies as it were under a fatal Necessity of favouring, shifting, double dealing and Oppression, and
besides through Age, Infirmity, and Distempers grown lazy, unactive, and inattentive, and thereby almost incapacitated from
doing any thing becoming the nature of his Imployment, and the
Duty of-his Office. In such Cases, the Decisions and Determinations of Men so bred, and so qualified, may with Reason be
expected on the wrong side of the Cause since those who can
take Harangue and Noise, (if pursued with Warmth, and drawn
out into a Length,) for Reasoning, are not much to be wondered
at, if they infer the weight of the Argument from the heaviness of
the Pleading.
T It is a Maxim among these Men, T      wh:v. r   ben done
k lefore may legally be done again: And therefore they take special
Care to=recnd ll - n  D   i   formerly made, even those which
have through Ignorance or Corruption contradicted the Rules of
|       common Justice and the general Reason of Mankind. These,
under the Name of Precedents, they produce as Authorities, and
thereby endeavour to justify the most iniquitous Opinions; and
they are so lucky in this Practice, that it rarely fails of Decrees
— answerable to their Intent and Expectation.
In pleading, they studiously avoid entring into theM  of
the Cause; but are loud, violent and tedious in welling upon
all Circumstances which are not to the Purpose. For Instance,
in the Case already mentioned; They never desire to know what
Claim or Title my Adversary had to my. Cow, but whether the
said Cow were Red or Black, her Horns long or short: whether
the Field I graze her in be round or square, whether she was
milked at home or abroad, what Diseases she is subject to, and




/ i         i,<;1
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYjH           IS.      287
the like; after which they consult  ecedents, adiourn the Cause,
from Time to Time, and in Ten, TwenTy or Thirty Years come
to an Issue.
It is likewise to be observed that this Society hath a peculiar
Cant and Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all their Laws are written, which they take
special Care to multiply; whereby they have gone near to con- B
found the very Essence of Truth and Falsehood, of Right and
Wrong; so that it may take Thirty - ears to decide whether the
Field, left me by my Ancestors for Six Generations, belongs to me
or to a Stranger three hundred miles off.
In the Tryal of Persons accused for Crimes against the State
the Method is much more short and commendable: For if those
in power, who know well how to choose Instruments fit for their
Purpose, take care to recommend and promote out of this
Clan a proper Person, his Method of Education and Practice
makes it easy to him, when his Patrons Disposition is understood, without Difficulty or Study either to condemn or acquit
the Criminal, and at the same time strictl e  sall  r,of Lw.
Here my Master interposing said it was a Pity, that Creatures
endowed with such prodigious Abilities of Mind as these Advocates by the Description I gave of them must certainly be, were
not rather encouraged to be Instructors of others in Wisdom and
Knowledge. In answer to which I assured his Honour that the
Business and Study of their own Calling and Profession so took
up all their Thoughts and engrossed all their Time, that they
minded nothing else, and that therefore, in all points out of
their own Trade, many of them were of so great Ignorance
and Stupidity, that it was hard to pick out of any Profession a
Generation of Men more despicable in common Conversation, or
who were so much looked upon as avowed Enemies to all Know-,
ledge and Learning, being equally disposed to pervert the general
reason of Mankind in every other Subject of Discourse, as in that
of their own Calling.




288


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER VI.
A Conlinualion of the State of England, so well governed ly a
Queen as to need no first Minister. The Character of such an
one in some European Courts.
M   Y Master was yet wholly at a Loss to understand what
Motives could incite this Race of Lawyers to perplex,
disquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in a Confederacy of
Injustice, merely for the Sake of injuring their Fellow-Animals;
neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying they did it
for Wire. Whereupon I was at much Pains to describe to him
the Use of JMoney, the Materials it was made of, and the Value
of the Metals, that when a Yahoo had got a great Store of this
precious Substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a
mind to, the finest Cloathing, the noblest Houses, great Tracts of
Land, the most costly Meats and Drinks, and have his choice of
the most beautiful Females. Therefore since Money alone, was
able to perform all these Feats, our Yahoos thought, they could
never have enough of it to spend or to save, as they found themselves inclined from their natural Bent either to Profusion or
Avarice.  That the Rich Man enjoyed the Fruit of the Poor
Man's Labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former. That the Bulk of our People were forced to
live miserably, by labouring every Day for small Wages to make
a few live plentifully. I enlarged myself much on these and
many other Particulars to the same purpose: But his Honour was
still to seek: For he went upon a supposition that all Animals
had a Title to their share in the Productions of the Earth, and
especially those who presided over the rest.  Therefore he
desired I would let him know, what these costly Meats were, and




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


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how any of us happened to want them. Whereupon I enumerated
as many sorts as came into my Head, with the various Methods of
dressing them, which could not be done without sending Vessels
by Sea to every part of the World, as well for Liquors to Drink,
as for Sauces, and innumerable other Conveniencies. I assured  <->;,
him, that this whole Globe of Earth must be at least three times  /
gone round, before one of our better Female Yahloos could get
her Breakfast, or a Cup to put it in. He said, That must needs
be a miserable Country which cannot furnish Food for its own
Inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was how such
vast Tracts of Grounds as I described should be wholly without
Fresh-water, and the People put to the Necessity of sending over,
the Sea for Drink. I replied, that England (the dear Place of  '  '
my Nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity
of Food, more than its Inhabitants are able to consume, as well
as Liquors extracted from Grain, or pressed out of the Fruit of
certain Trees, which made excellent Drink, and the same Proportion in every other Convenience of Life. But in order to feed
the Luxury and Intemperance of the Males, and the Vanity of
the Females, we sent away the greatest Part of our necessary
Things to other Countries, from whence in return we brought the
Materials of Diseases, Folly, and Vice, to spend among ourselves.
Hence it follows of Necessity, that vast Numbers of our People
are compelled to seek their Livelihood by Begging, Robbing,
Stealing, Cheating, Pimping, Forswearing, Flattering, Suborning,
Forging, Gaming, Lying, Fawning, Hectoring, Voting, Scribbling,
Stargazing, Poysoning, Whoring, Canting, Libelling, Free-thinking,
and the like Occupations: Every one of which Terms, I was at
much Pains to make him understand.
That Wine was not imported among us from foreign Countries,
to supply the want of Water or other Drinks, but because it was a  t-t.-_..
sort of Liquid which made us merry, by putting us out of our
Senses; diverted all melancholy Thoughts, begat wild extravagant
Imaginations in the Brain, raised our Hopes, and banished our
Fears, suspended every Office of Reason for a Time, and deprived
us of the Use of our Limbs, till we fell into a profound Sleep;
T




.90o             GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.
although it must be confessed, that we always awaked sick and
Adispirited, and that the Use of this Liquor filled us with Diseae:s,
Lwhich made our-Lives uncomfortable and short.. But beside all. this, the Bulk of our People supported themselves by furnishing the Necessities and Conveniences of Life to
the Rich, and to each other. For Instance, when I am at horne
and "dressed as I ought to be, I carry on my Body the Wor-kmra
ship of an Hundred Tradesmen; the Building and Furniture of
my. Huse employ as many more, and five times the Number to
adorn my Wife..I was going on to tell him of another sort of People, who- get
their Livelihood by attending the Sick, having tpon some Occasions informed his Honour that many of my- Crew had died of
Diseases. But here it was with the utmost Difficulty, that I
brought him to apprehend.-what I meant. He could. easily cotn
ceive, that a Houyhhinm grew weak and heavy a few Days before
his Death, or by some Accident might hurt a Limb. But that
Nature, who works all Things to Perfection, should suffer any
Pains to breed in our Bodies, he thought it-impossible, and
desired to know the reason of so unaccountable an Evil. I told
him, we fed on a thousand Things which operated the one contrary to each other; that we eat when we were not hungry, and
drank without the Provocation of Thirst; That we sate whole
Nights drinking strong Liquors without eating a Bit, which disposed us to Sloth, enflamed our Bodies, and precipitated or
prevented Digestion. That prostitute Female Yahoos acquired a
certain Malady, which bred Rottenness in the Bones of those,
who fell into their Embraces; That this and many other Diseases,
were propagated from Father to Son, so that great Numbers come
into the World with complicated Maladies upon them; that it.would be endless. to give him a Catalogue of all Diseases incident
to human Bodies; for they could not be fewer than five or six
hundred, spread:over every Limb, and Joynt; in short, every
-Part, external and intestine, having Diseases appropriated to them.
-To remedy which, there was a Sort of People bred up among us,;in the. Profession or Pretence of curing the Sick.. And becaufse I




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


29I


had some Skill in the Faculty, I would in Gratitude to his
Honour, let him know the whole Mystery and Method by which
they proceed.
Their Fundamental is, That all Diseases arise from Re petion,
from whence they conclude, that a great Evzacuation of the Body
is necessary, either through the natural Passage, or upwards at
'the Mouth. Their next Business is, from Herbs, Minerals, Gums,
Oyls, Shells, Salts, Juices, Seaweed, Excrements, Barks of Trees,
Serpents, Toads, Frogs, Spiders, dead Mens Flesh and Bones,
Beasts and Fishes, to form a Composition for Smell and Taste  3  Y
the most abominable, nauseous and detestable, they can possibly  y
contrive, which the Stomach immediately rejects with loathing;
and this they call a Vomit; or else from the same Storehouse,
with some other Poysonous Additions, they command us to take
in at the Orifice above or below, (just as the Physician then
happens to be disposed) a Medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the Bowels, which relaxing the Belly, drives down all
before it. and this they call a Purge, or a Glysfer. For Nature
(as the Physicians alledge) having intended the superior anterior
Orifice only for the i"' omtission of Solids and Liquids, and the
inferior for Ejection,.iese Artists ingeniously considering that in
all Diseases Nature is forced out of her Seat; therefore to replace
her in it, the Body must be treated in a manner directly contrary,
by interchanging the Use of each Orifice, forcing Solids and
Liquids in at the Anus, and making Evacuations at the Mouth.
But, besides real Diseases, we are subject to many that are
only imainar, for which the Physicians have invented imaginary
Cures; these have their several Names, and so have the Drugs
that are proper for them, and with these our Female Yaioos are
always infested.
One great Excellency in this Tribe is their Skill at Prognostic
wherein they seldom fail; their Predictions in real Diseasesj when
they rise to any Degree of Malignity, generally portending Death,
which is always in their Power when Recovery is not: And
therefore, upon any unexpected Signs of Amendment, after they
have pronounced-their Sentence, rather than be accused as false




292


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


Prophets, they know how to approve their Sagacity to the World,
by a seasonable Dose.
They are likewise of special Use to Husbands and Wives, who
are grown weary of their Mates, to eldest Sons, to great Ministers
of State, and often to Princes.
I had formerly upon occasion discoursed with my Master
upon the Nature of Government in general, and particularly of
our own excellent Constifution, deservedly the Wonder and Envy
of the whole World. But having here accidentally mentioned
a Minister of S/ate; he commanded me some time after to
inform him, what Species of Yahoos I particularly meant by
that Application.
I told him, that our She Governor or Queen having no Ambition to gratify, no Inclination to satisfy of extending her Power
to the Injury of her Neighbours, or the Prejudice of her own
Subjects, was therefore so far from needing a corrupt Ministry to
carry on or cover any sinister Designs, that She not only directs
her own Actions to the Good of her People, conducts them by
the Direction, and restrains them within the Limitation of the
Laws of her own Country; but submits the Behaviour and Acts
of those She intrusts with the Administration of her Affairs to the
Examination of Her great Council, and subjects them to the
Penalties of the Law; and therefore never puts any such Confidence in any of her Subjects as to entrust them with the whole
and entire Administration of her Affairs: But I added, that in
some former Reigns here, and in many other Courts of Europe
now, where Princes grew indolent and careless of their own
Affairs through a constant Love and Pursuit of Pleasure, they
made use of such an Administrator, as I had mentioned, under
the Title of first or chief Minister of State, the Description of
which, as far as it may be collected not only from their Actions,
but from the Letters, Memoirs, and Writings published by themselves, the Truth of which has not yet been disputed, may be
allowed to be as follows: That he is a Person wholly exempt from
Joy and Grief, Love and Hatred, Pity and Anger; at least makes
use of no other Passions but a violent Desire of Wealth, Power,




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


293


and Titles; That he never tells Words to all Uses, except to the
Indication of his Mind; That he never tells a Truth, but with
an Intent that you should take it for a jLe; nor a Lye, but with
a Design that you should take it for a Truth; That those he
speaks worst of behind their Backs, are in the surest Way to
Preferment; and whenever he begins to praise you to others
or to yourself, you are from that Day forlorn. The worst Mark
you can receive is a Promise, especially when it is confirmed with
an Oath; after which every wise \Ian retires, and gives over all
Hopes.
There are three Methods by which a Man may rise to be chief
Minister: The first is, by knowing how with Prudence to dispose
of a Wife, a Daughter, or a Sister: The secon  y beraying or
undermining hi   edecessor: And the third is by a furios Zea
in publick Assemblies aga  ie Corruptions of the Court.  But
a wise Prince would rather choose to employ those who practice
the last of these Methods; because such Zealots prove always
the most obsequious and subservient to the W1ill and Passions of
their Master. That these Ministers having all Employments at
their Disposal, preserve themselves in Power by bribing the
Majority of a Senate or great Council; and at last by an Act of
Inldemnity (whereof I described the Nature to him) they secured
themselves from after Reckonings, and retired from the Publick,
laden with the Spoils of the Nation.
The Palace of a Chief Minister, is a Seminary to breed up
others in his own Trade: The Pages, Lacquies, and Porter, by
imitating their Master, become Minisltes of State in their several
Districts, and learn to excel in the three principal Ingredients, of
Insolence, Lyi,_. and Bribery. Accordingly, they have a Subaltern
Court paid to them by Persons of the best Rank, and sometimes
by the Force of Dexterity and Impudence, arrive through several
Gradations to be Successors to their Lord.
He is usually governed by a decayed Wench, or favourite
Footman, who are the Tunnels through which all Graces are
conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last Resort, the
Governors of the Kingdom.




294


G ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


\   One Day in Discourse my Master, having heard me mention
/  /\   the Nobility of my Country, was pleased to make me a Compliment which I could not pretend to deserve: 'Ihat he was sure, I
/     9 must have been born of some Noble Family, because I far exceeded in Shape, Colour, and Cleanliness, all the Yahoos of his
Nation, although I seemed to fail in Strength and Agility, which
must be imputed to my different Way of Living from those other
Brutes, and besides, I was not only endowed with the Faculty
of Speech, but likewise with some Rudiments of Reason, to a
Degree, that with all his Acquaintance I passed for a Prodigy.
He made me observe, that among the iYoiuyhuihnms, the [/ift/e,
the Sorrel, and the Iron-grey, were not so exactly shaped as the
Bay, the DappZe-grey, and the Black; nor born with equal
~f          Talents of the Mind, or a Capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the Condition of Servants, without ever
aspiring to match out of their own Race, which in that Country
would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural.
I made his Honour my most humble Acknowledgements for
the good Opinion he was pleased to conceive of me; but assured
him at the same time, that my Birth was of the lower Sort,
having been born of plain honest Parents, who were just able to
give me a tolerable Education: That Nobility among us was
altogether a different Thing from the Idea he had of it; That our
young Noblemen are bred from their Childhood in Idleness and
Luxury; that as soon as Years will permit, they consume their
Vigour, and contract odious Diseases among leiwd Females; and
Awhen their Fortunes are almost ruined, they marry scnme \Xoman
of mean Birth, disagreeable Person, and unsound Constitution,
merely for the Sake of Money, whom they hate and despise.
That the Productions of such Marriages are generally scrophu'lous,
ricletty, or deformed Children; by which means the Family
seldom continues above Three Generations, unless the W-ife takes
care to provide a healthy Father among her Neighbours, or
Acquaintance, in order to improve and continue the Breed.
That a weak diseased Body, a meager Countenance, and sallow
Complexion, are no uncommon Marks of a Great jai:,. and a




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.                295
healthy robust Appearance is so far disgraceful in a Man of
Quality, that the World is apt to conclude his real Father to
have been one of the Inferinrslthe Family, especially when it
is seen that the Imperfections of his Mind run parallel with those
of his Body and are little else than a Composition of Spleen,
Dullness, Ignorance, Caprice, Sensuality, and Pride.




296


G ULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER VII.
The Author's great Love of his Nlative Country.  His Master's
Observations upon the Constitution and Adminishlatzob of
England, as. described by the Author, weith parallel Cases
and Comparisons. His Alaster's Observations lpon Hluman
Nature.
THE Reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail
on myself to give so free a Representation of my own
Species, among a Race of Mortals who were already too apt to
conceive the vilest Opinion ot Human Kind from that entire
Congruity betwixt me and their Yahoos. But I must freely confess, that the many Virtues of those excellent Quadrzupeds placed
in opposite View to human Corruptions, had so far opened my
Eyes and enlightened my Understanding, that I began to view
the Actions and Passions of Man in a very different Light, and
to think the Honour of my own Kind not worth managing;
which, besides, it was impossible for me to do before a Person
of so acute a Judgment as my Master, who daily convinced me
of a thousand Faults in myself, whereot I had not the least Perception before, and which among us would never be numbered
even among human Infirmities, I had likewise learned from his
Example an utter Detestation of all Falsehood or Disguise; and
Truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it.
Let me deal so candidly with the Reader, as to confess, that
there was yet a much stronger Motive for the Freedom I took in
my Representation of Things. I had not been a Year in this
Country, before I contracted such a Love and Veneration for the




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


297


Inhabitants, that I entered on a firm Resolution never to return
to human Kind, but to pass the rest of my Life among these
admirable HouyIhnhzlms in the Contemplation and Practice of
every Virtue; where I could have no Example or Incitement to
Vice. But it was decreed by Fortune, my perpetual Enemy, that
so great a Felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is
now some Comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my Country-  e
men, I extenuated their Faults as much as I durst before so strict
an Examiner, and upon every Article, gave as favourable a Turn
as the Matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will
not be swayed by his Byass and Partiality to the Place of his Birth?
I have related the Substance of several Conversations I had
with my Master, during the greatest part of the Time I had the
Honour to be in his Service, but have indeed for Brevity sake
omitted much more than is here set down.
WVhen I had answered all his Questions, and his Curiosity       I
seemed to be fully satisfied; he sent for me one Morning early,
and commanded me to sit down at some distance, (an Honour
which he had never before conferred upon me) he said, He had
been very seriously considering my whole Story, as far as it
related both to myself and my Country: That hle looked upon us
as a sort of Animals to whose Share, by what Accident he could
not conjecture, some small Pittance of Reason had fallen, whereof
we made no other Use than by its Assistance to aggravate our
natural Corruptions, and to acquire new ones which Nature had
not given us: That we disarmed ourselves of the few Abilities she
had bestowed, had been very successful in multiplying our original
Wants, and seemed to spend our whole Lives in vain Endeavours
to supply them by our Own Inventions. That as to myself, it
was manifest I had neither the Strength or Agility of a common
Yahoo, that I walked infirmly on my hinder Feet, had found out
a Contrivance to make my Claws of no Use or Defence, and to     n
remove the Hair from my Chin, which was intended as a shelter  v
from the Sun andl the Weather. Lastly, That I could neither oJU
run with Speed, nor climb Trees like my Brethren (as he called
them) the Yahoos in this Country.




298


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


That our Institutions of Goversnment and Law were plainly
owing to our gross Defects in Reason, and by consequence, in
Verlte; because Reason alone is sufficient to govern a Rational
Creature; which was therefore a Character we had no Pretence
to challenge, even from the Account I had given of my own
People, although he manifestly perceived, that in order to favour
them, I had concealed many Particulars, and often said the Thing
which wa s not.
He was the more confirmed in this Opinion, because he
observed, that as I agreed in every Feature of my Body with
other Yahoos, except where it was to my real Disadvantage in
point of Strength, Speed and Activity, the shortness of'my Claws,
and some other Particulars where Nature had no Part; so from
the Representation I had given him of our Lives, our Manners,
and our Actions, he found as near a Resemblance in the Disposition of our Minds. He said the Yahoos were known to hate one
another more than they did any different Species of Animals;
and the Reason usually assigned, was, the Odiousness of their
own Shapes, which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves.
He had therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our
Bodies, and by that Invention, conceal many of our own Deformities from each other, which would else be hardly supportable.
But, he now found he had been mistaken and that the Dissentions of those Brutes in his Country were owing to the same:.  '    Cause with ours, as I had described them. For, if (said he) you
throw among Five Yahoos as much Food as would be sufficient
for Fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall together by
the Ears, each single one impatient to have all to ilself; and
therefore a Servant was usually employed to stand by while they
were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a
Distance from each other; that if a Cow died of Age or Accident,
be:ore a Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own Yahoos, those in
the Neighbourhood would come in Herds to seize it, and then
would ensue such a Battle as. I had described, with terrible
Wounds made by their Claws on both Sides, although they seldom
were able to kill one another, for want of such convenient Instru



A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


299


ments of Death as we had invented. At other times the like
Battles have been fought between the Y1ihoos of several Neighbourhoods without any visible Cause: Those of one District
watching all Opportunities to surprize the next before-they are
prepared. But if they find their Project hath miscarried, they
return home, and for want of Enemies, engage in what I call a
Civil WTar among themselves.
That in some Fields of his Country, there are certain s/hining
Stones of several Colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond,
and when part of these Stones is fixed in the Earth, as it sometimes happeneth, they will dig with their Claws for whole Days to
get them out, then carry them away, and hide them by Heaps in
their Kennels; but still looking round with great Caution, for
fear their Comrades should find out their Treasure. IMy Master
said, he could never discover the Reason of this unnatural
Appetite, or how these Slones could be of any Use to a Ihoo;
but now he believed it might proceed from the same Principle of
Avarice, which I had ascribed to Mankind  that he had once, by
way of Experiment, privately removed a Heap of these Stones
from the Place where one of his Yahoos had buried it: Whereupon, the sordid Animal missing his Treasure, by his loud
lamenting brought the whole Herd to the Place, there miserably
howled, then fell to biting and tearing the rest, began to pine
away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a
Servant privately to convey the Stones into the same Hole, and
hide them as before; which when his Yahoo had found, he
presently recovered his Spirits and good Humour, but took care
to remove them to a better hiding-place, and hath ever since been
a very serviceable Brute.
My Master farther assured me, which I also observed myself,
That in the Fields where the shizing Stones abound, the fiercest
and most frequent Battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual
inroads of the Neighbouring Yahoos.
He said, it was common when two 'Yahoos discovered such a
Stone in a Field, and were contending which of them should be
the Proprietor, a third would take the Advantage, and carry it




30o


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


away from them both; which my Master would needs contend
to have some kind of Resemblance with our Suits at Law;
wherein I thought it for our Credit not to undeceive him; since
the Decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many
Decrees among us: Because the Plantiff and Defendant there
lost nothing besides the Stone they contended for, whereas our
Courts of Equity, would seldom have dismissed the Cause while
either of them had any thing left.
My Master continuing his Discourse, said, There was nothing
that rendered the Yahoos more odious, than their undistinguishing
Appetite to devour every Thing that came in their way, whether
I*'V 4      Herbs, Roots, Berries, the corrupted Flesh of Animals, or all
mingled together: And it was peculiar in their Temper, that they
were fonder of what they could get by Rapine or Stealth at a
greater distance, than much better Food provided for them at
home. If their Prey held out, they would eat till they were ready
to burst, after which Nature had pointed out to them a certain
Root that gave them a general Evacuation.
There was also another kind of Root very juicy, but somewhat
rare and difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought for with;   much Eagerness, and would suck it with great Delight; and it
-iv        produced the same Effects that Wine hath upon us. It would
make them sometimes hug, sometimes tear one another, they
would howl and grin, and chatter, and tumble, and then fall
asleep in the Dirt.
I did indeed observe, that the Yahoos were the only Animals
in this Country subject to any Diseases;'which however, were
much fewer than Horses have among us, and contracted not by
any ill treatment they meet with, but by the Nastiness, and
Greediness of that sordid Brute. Neither has their Language
any more than a general Appellation for those Maladies, which
/ is borrowed from the Name of the Beast, and called -lnea- Yahoo
or the Yahoo's-Evil, and the Cure prescribed is a Mixture of
their own Dung and Urine forcibly put down the Yahoo's
Throat. This I have since often taken myself, and do freely
recommend it to my Countrymen for the publick Good, as an




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


301


admirable Specifick against all Diseases produced by Repletion.
As to Learning, Government, Arts, Manufactures, and the like,
my Master confessed he could find little or no Resemblance between the Yahoos of that Country and those in ours. For, ihe
only meant to observe what Parity there was in our Natures. He
had heard indeed some curious Houyhnhnms observe, that in
most Herds there was a sort of ruling Yahoo, (as among us there
is generally some leading or principal Stag in a Park) who was
always more deformed in Body, and mischievous in Disposition,
than any of the rest. That this Leader had usually a Favourite
as like himself as he could get, whose Employment was to lick his
ALasler's Fect and Posteriors, and drive the Female Yahoos to his
Kennel; for which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of
Ass's Flesh. This Favourite is hated by the whole Herd, and
therefore to protect himself, keeps always near the Person of his
Leader.  He usually continues in Office till a worse can be
found; but the very Moment he is discarded, his Successor at
the Head of all the Yahoos in that District, Young and Old,
Male and Female, come. in a Body, and discharge their excrements upon him from Head to Foot. But how far this might be
applicable to our Courts and Favourites, and Ministers of State,
my Master said I could best determine.
I durst make no return to this malicious Insinuation, which
debased human Understanding below tihe Sagacity of a common
Hound, who has Judgment enough to distinguish and follow the
Cry of the ablest Dogqin the Pack, without being ever mistaken.
yMaster told_ me, therewere-some Qualities  arle      in
the Yahoos, which he had not observed me to mention, or at
least very slightly, in the Accounts I had given him of human
kind; he said, Those Animals, like other Brutes, had their
Females in-common; but in this they differed, that the SheYahoo would admit the Male, while she was pregnant, and that
the Hees would quarrel and fight with Females as fiercely as with
each other. Both which Practices were such Degrees of Brutality,
that no other sensitive Creature ever arrived at.




302


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Another thing he wondered at in the Yahoos, was their strange
Disposition to Nastiness and Dirt, whereas there appears to be a
natural Love of Cleanliness in all other Animals. As to theJ wo
former Accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any
Reply, because I had not a Word to offer upon them in Defence
of my Species, which otherwise I certainly had done fronm my.own Inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated Human
IKind from the Imputation of Singularity upon Article, if there
iad been any Swine in that Country, (as unluckily for me there
were not) which although it may be a sweeter Quadruped than a
Yahoo, cannot I humbly conceive in Justice pretend to more
w       Cleanliness; and so his Honour himself must have owned, if he
had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their Custom of wallowing
and sleeping in the Mud.
My Master likewise mentioned another Quality which his Servants had discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He said, a Fancy would sometimes take a IYahoo,
to retire into a Corner, to lie down and howl, and groan, and
spurn away all that came near him, although he were young and
fat, wanted neither Food nor Water; nor could the Servants
imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only Remedy
they found was to set him to hard Work, after which he would
infallibly come to himself. To this I was silent out of Partiality
to my own Kind; yet here I could discover the true Seeds of
Spleen, which only seize on the Lazy, the Luxurious, and the
Rich; who, if they were forced to undergo the same Regimen, I
would undertake for the Cure.
His Honour had farther observed, that a Female- Yahoo would
often stand behind a Bank or a Bush, to gaze on the young Males
passing by, and then appear, and hide, using many antick Gestures
and Grimaces, and which time it was observed, that she had a most.ofensive Smell; and when any of the Males advanced, would slowly
retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit shew of Fear,
run off into some convenient Place where she knew the Male
would follow her.
At other times if a Female Stranger came among them, Three




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUI'HNHNMS.               303
or Four of her own Sex would get about her, and stare and chatter,
and grin, and smell her all over, and then turn off with Gestures
tb0- seemed to express Contempt and Disdain.
-haps my Master might refine a little in these Speculations,
which he had drawn from what he observed himself, or had been
told him by others: However, I could not reflect without some
Amazement, and much Sorrow, that the Rudiments of Lewdness,
Coquetry, Censure, and Scaalad, should have place by Instinct in
Womankind.
I expected every Moment that my Master would accuse the
Yahoos of those unnatural Appetites in both Sexes, so common
among us. But Nature it seems hath not been so expert a Schoolmistress; and these politer Pleasures are entirely the Productions
of Art and Reason, on our side of the Globe.




304


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER VIII.
The Author relales several Particulars of the Yahoos.  The great
Virtues of the Houyhnhnms.  The Education and Exerise
of their Youth.  Their general Assembly.
AS I ought to have understood Human Nature much better than
I supposed it possible for my Master to do, so it was easy
to apply the Character he gave of the Yahoos to myself and my
Countrymen, and I believed I could yet make farther Discoveries
from my own Observation. I therefore often begged his Favour
to let me go among the Herd of Yahoos in the Neighbourhood, to
which he always very graciously consented, being perfectly convinced that the Hatred I bore those Brutes, would never suffer
me to be corrupted by them; and his Honour ordered one of his
Servants, a strong Sorrel Nag, very honest and good-natured, to
be my Guard, without whose Protection I durst not undertake
such Adventures. For I have already told the Reader how much
I was pestered with those Animals upon my first Arrival. And I
afterward failed three or four times of very narrowly falling into their
Clutches, when I happened to stray at any Distance without my
Hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some Imagination
that I was of their own Species, which I often assisted myself, by
stripping up my sleeves, and shewing my naked Arms, and Breast
in their sight, when my Protector was with me. At which times
they would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my Actions,
after the manner of Monkeys, but ever with great signs of Hatred,
as a tame Jack-Daw with Cap and Stockings, is always persecuted
by the wild ones, when he happens to be got among them.
They are prodigiously nimble fiom their Infancy; ho ever, I
y          0                             y   0)y'"




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


305


once caught a young Male of three Years old, and endeavoured
by all Marks of Tenderness to make it quiet; but the little Imp
fell a squalling, and scratching, and biting with such Violence,
that I was forced to let it go, and it was high time, for a whole
Troop of old ones came about us at the Noise, but finding the
Cub was safe, (for away it ran) and my Sorrel Nag being by, they
durst not venture near us. I observed the young Animal's Flesh
to smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat between a Weasel
and a Fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot another Circumstance (and perhaps I might have the Reader's Pardon, if it
were wholly omitted) that while I held the odious Vermin in my
Hands, it voided its filthy Excrements of a Yellow liquid Substance, all over my Cloaths; but by good Fortune there was a
small Brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean as I could,
although I durst not come into my Master's Presence, until I B
were sufficiently aired.
By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the most
unteachable of all Animals, their Capacities never reaching higher
than to draw or carry burthens. Yet I am of Opinion this defect
ariseth chiefly from a perverse, restive Disposition. For they are
cning mlrn,_. trfeacherous and revengeful. They are strong
and hardy, but of a cowardly Spirit, andonsequence, insolent,
abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the Red-haired of both
Sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom
yet they much exceed in Strength and Activity.
The Houyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present use in Huts
not far from the House; but the rest are sent abroad to certain
Fields, where they dig up Roots, eat several kinds of Herbs, and
scratch about for Carrion, or sometimes catch Weasels and
Luhim/Nhs (a sort of wild Rat) which they greedily devour.
Nature hath taught them to dig deep Holes with their Nails
on the side of a rising Ground, where they lie by themselves, only
the Kennels of the Females are larger, sufficient to hold two or
three Cubs.
They swim from their Infancy like Frogs, and are able to continue long under Water, where they often take Fish, which the
u




3o6


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


Females carry home to their Young. And upon this Occasion, I
hope the Reader will pardon my relating an odd Adventure.
Being one Day abroad with my Protectorthe Sorrel Nag, and
the Weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a
River that was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped
myself stark naked, and went down softly into the Stream. It
happened that a young Female Yahoo standing behind a Bank,
saw the whole proceeding, and enflamed by Desire, as the Nag
and I conjectured, came running with all speed, and leaped into
the Water within five Yards of the Place where I bathed. I was
never in my Life so terribly frighted; the Nag was grazing at
some distance, not suspecting any Harm.  She embraced me
after a most fulsome manner; I roared as loud as I could, and
the Nag came galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her
Grasp, with the utmost Reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite
Bank, where she stood gazing and howling all the time I was
putting on my Cloaths.
This was matter of Diversion to my Master and his Family, as
well as of Mortification to myself. For now I could no longer
deny, that I was a real Yahoo, in every Limb and Feature, since
the Females had a natural Prophensity to me as one of their own
Species: Neither was the Hair of this Brute of a Red Colour,
(which might have been some Excuse for an Appetite a little
irregular) but Black as a Sloe, and her Countenance did not
make an Appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of the
Kind; For, I think, she could not be above eleven Years old.
Having lived three Years in this Country, the Reader I suppose
will expect, that I should, like other Travellers, give him some
Account of the Manners and Customs of its Inhabitants, which it
was indeed my principal Study to learn.
As these Noble I7ouyhn/nzms are endowed by Nature with a
general Disposition to all Virtues, and have no Conceptions or
Ideas of what is Evil in a rational Creature, so their grand Maxim
is, to cultivate Reason, andto be wholly governed by it. Neither
is Reason among them a Point of Problematical as with us, where
Men can argue with Plausibility on both sides of a Question; but




A  VOYAGE~r 7'n rrHP T TC T7YTTF7     T4NTA.k1


"r'7i


strikes you with immediate Conviction; as it must needs do where
it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured by Passion and Interest.
I remember it was with extreme Difficulty that I could bring my
Master to understand the meaning of the WordOinn, or how
a Point could be disputable; because Reason taught us to affirm
or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our Knowledge
we cannot do either. So that Controversies, Wranglings, Disputes,
and Positiveness in false or dubious Propositions are Evils unknown among tie Houyhnhmzns. In the like manner when I
used to explain to him our several Systems of Natural Philosophy,
he would laugh that a Creature pretending to Reason should value
itself upon the Knowledge of other Peoples Conjectures, and in
Things, where that Knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no
Use. Wherein he agreed entirely with the Sentiments of Socrates,
as Plato delivers them; which I mention as the highest honour I
can do that Prince of Philosophers. I have often since reflected
what Destruction such a Doctrine would make in the Libraries
of Europe, and how many Paths to Fame would be then shut up
in the Learned World.
Friendship and Benevolence are the two principal Virtues amongthe Houyhihznnls, and-these not confined to particular objects,
but universal to the whole Race. For a Stranger from the remotest Part is equally treated with the nearest Neighbour, and
wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They preserve
Decency and Civility in the highest Degrees, but are altogether
ignorant of Ceremony. They have no Fondness for their Colts or
Foles, but the Care they take in educating them proceeds entirely
from the Dictates of Reason. And I observed my Master to
shew the same Affection to his Neighbour's Issue that he had for
his own. They will have it that Nature teaches them to love the
whole Species, and it is Reason only that maketh a Distinction of
Persons, where there is a superior Degree of Virtue.   _
When the Matron Houyhahnnms have produced one of each
Sex, they no longer accompany with their Consorts, except they
lose one of their Issue by some Casualty, which very seldom
happens; But in such a Case they meet again, or when the like




308


GULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


Accident befals a Person, whose Wife is past bearing, some other
Couple bestow on him one of their own Colts, and then go
together again till the Mother is pregnant.  This Caution is
necessary to prevent the Country from being overburthened with
Numbers. But the Race of inferior Houyhnhnms bred up to be
Servants is not so strictly limited upon this Article; These are
allowed to produce three of each Sex, to be Domesticks in the
Noble Families.
In their Marriages they are exactly careful/to choose such
Colours as will not make any disagreeable Mixture in the Breed.
Strength is chiefly valued in the Male, and Comeliness in the
Female, not upon the account of Love, but to preserve the Race
from degenerating; for where a Female happens to excell in
Strength, a Consort is chosen with regard to Comeliness. Courtship, Love, Presents, Joyntures, Settlements, have no place in
their Thoughts; or Terms whereby to express them in their
Language.  The young Couple meet and are joyned, merely
because it is the Determination of their Parents and Friends: It
is what they see done every Day, and they look upon it as one of
the necessary Actions of a Rational Being. But the Violation of
Marriage, or any other Unchastity, was never heard of: And
the married Pair pass their Lives with the same Friendship, and
mutual Benevolence that they bear to all others of the same
Species, who come in their way; without Jealousy, Fondness,
Quarrelling, or Discontent.
In educating the Youth of both Sexes, their Method is admirable, and highly deserves our Imitation. These are not suffered
to taste a Grain of Oats, except upon certain Days, till Eighteen
Years old; nor Milk, but very rarely; and in Summer they graze
two Hours in the Morning, and as long in the Evening, which
their Parents likewise observe, but the Servants are not allowed
above half that time, and a great Part of their Grass is brought
home, which they eat at the most convenient Hours, when they
can be best spared from Work.
Temperance, Industry, Exercise and Cleanliness, are the Lessons
equally enjoyned to the young ones of both Sexes: And my
v.,L.




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHANHNMS.


309


Master thought it monstrous in us to give the Females a different
kind of Education from the Males, except in some Articles of
Domestick Management; whiereby as he truly observed, one half
of our Natives were good for nothing but bringing Children into
the World: And to trust the Care of our Children to such useless
Animals, he said was yet a greater Instance of Brutality.
But the JIou)/,llhnlis train up their Youth to Strength, Speed,
and Hardiness, by exercising them  in running Races up and
down steep Hills, and over hard and stony Grounds, and when
they are all in a Sweat, they are ordered to leap over Head and
Ears, into a Pond or a River. Four times a Year the Youth of
a certain District meet to shew their Proficiency in Running, and
Leaping, and other Feats of Strength and Agility, where the
Victor is rewarded, with a Song made in his or her Praise.
On this Festival the Servants drive a Herd of Ya/zoos into the
Field, laden with Hay, and Oats, and Milk for a repast to the
Hou),iihnllns; after which, these Brutes were immediately driven
back again, for fear of being noisome to the Assembly.
Every fourth Year at the Jfernal Equinox, there is a Representative Council of the whole Nation, which meets in a Plain about
twenty Miles from our House, and continues about five or six
Days. Here they enquire into the State and Condition of the
several Districts, Whether they abound or be deficient in Hay
or Oats, or Cows or Yhtoos? and wherever there is any Want
(which is but seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous
Consent and Contribution. Here likewise the Regulation of
Children is settled: As for instance, if a Haouyhnhnir hath two
Males, he changeth one of them with another that hath two
Females: And when a Child hath been lost by any Casualty,
where the Mother is past Breeding, it is determined what Family
shall breed another to supply the Loss.




3Io


G ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER IX.
A grand Debate at the Genleral Assembly of tle Houyhnllnms, and
how it was determined.  The Learning of the Houyhnhnms.
7heir Blildings.  Thicir manner of Burials.  The defecliveness of their Language.
ONE of these Grand Assemblies was held in my time, about
three Months before my Departure, whither my Master
went as the Representative of our District. In this Council was
resumed their old Debate, and indeed, the only Debate that ever
happened in that Country; whereof my Master after his Return
gave me a very particular Account.
The Question to be debated, was, Whether the Yahoos should
be exterminated from the Face of the Earth? One of the MAembers for the Affirmative offered several arguments of great Strength,
and Weight, alledging, That as the Yahoos were the most filthy,
noisome, and deformed Animal which Nature ever produced, so
they were the most restive and indocile, mischievous and malicious: They would privately suck the Teats of the Holtyhinhnms
Cows, kill and devour their Cats, trample down their Oats and
'*.      Grass, if they were not continually watched, and commit a thousand
other Extravagancies. He took notice of a general Tradition,
That Yahoos had not been always in that Country:  But, that
many Ages ago, two of these Brutes appeared together upon a; Mountain, whether produced by the Heat of the Sun upon corr    rupted Mud and Slime, or fiom the Ooze or Froth of the Sea, was
never known. That these Yahloos engendered, and their Brood
in a short time grew so numerous as to over run and infest the
whole Nation. That the flouyhlhnhnns to get rid of this Evil,




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


3I1


made a general Hunting, and at last enclosed the whole Herd, and
destroying the old Ones, every fIou,'/n/mnm kept two young Ones
in a Kennel, and brought them to such a degree of Tameness,
as an Animal so savage by Nature can be capable of acquiring;
using them for Draught and Carriage. That there seemed to be
nmuch Truth in this Tradition, and that those Creatures could not
be Y/nhniamsiy (or Aborigines of the Land) because of the violent
Hatred the IHouahllnhnms, as well as all other Animals, bore them;
which although their evil Disposition sufficiently deserved, could
never have arrived at so high a Degree, if they had been Aborigrines, or else they would have long since been rooted out. That
the Inhabitants taking a Fancy to use the Service of tie Yahoos,
had very imprudently neglected to cultivate the Breed of Asses,
which were a comely Animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly,
without any offensive Smell, strong enough for Labour, although
they yield to the other in Agility of Body; and if their Braying
be no agreeable Sound, it is far preferable to the horrible Howlings of the Yahoos.
Several others declared their Sentiments to the same purpose,
when my Master proposed an Expedient to the Assembly, whereof
he had indeed borrowed the Hint from me. He approved of
the Tradition, mentioned by the folnozirable iIember, who spoke
before, and affirmed, that the Two YTizoos said to be first seen
among them had been driven thither over the Sea; that coming
to Land, and being forsaken by their Companions, they retired to
the M[ountains, and degenerating by degrees, became in process of
time, much more savage than those of their own Species in the
Country from whence these two-Originals came. The reason of
his Assertion was, that he had now in his Possession, a certain
wonderful  ah/oo, (meaning myself) which most of them lad
heard of, and many of them had seen. He then related to them.
how he first found me, that my Body was all covered with an
artificial Composure of the Skins and Hairs of other Animals:
That I had a Language of my own, and had thoroughly learned
theirs: That I had related to him the Accidents which brought
me thither: That when he saw me without my Covering, I was




312


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


an exact Yahoo in every Part, only of a whiter Colour, less hairy,
and with shorter Claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to
persuade him, that in my own and other Countries, the Yahoos
acted as the governing, Rational Animal, and held the Houyyhnhnms in Servitude: That he observed in me all the Qualities of
a Yahoo, only a little more civilized by some Tincture of Reason,
which however was in a degree as far inferior to the Hoztym/ihnnz
Race, as the Yahoos of their Country were to me: That, among
other things, I mentioned a Custom we had of Cashrating Hozuy/Lhnms when they were young, in order to render them tame; that
the Operation was easy and safe; that it was no Shame to learn
Wisdom from Brutes, as Industry is taught by the Ant, and
Building by the Swallow. (For so I translate the Word Lyhalnn/,
although it be a much larger Fowl.) That this Invention might be
practiced upon the younger Yahoos here, which, beside rendring
them tractable and fitter for Use, would in an Age put an end to
the whole Species wthhout destroying Life. That, in the mean
time the Hoigyhnoinms should be exhorted to cultivate the Breed
of Asses, which as they are in all respects more valuable Brutes,
so they have this Advantage, to be fit for Service at Five Years
old, which the others are not till twelve.
This was all my Master thought fit to tell me at that time, of
what passed in the Grand Council.  But he was pleased to
conceal one Particular, which related personally to myself, whereof
I soon felt the unhappy Effects, as the Reader will know in its
proper place, and from whence I date all the succeeding Misfortunes of my Life.
The Ho),yhnZnms have no Letters, and consequently, their
Knowledge is all Traditional. But there happening few Events of
y  any Moment           People so well unit naturally disposed
- to every Virtue, wholly governed by Reason, and cut off from all
Commerce with other Nations, the Historical Part is easily preserved without burthening their Memory. I have already observed,
that they are subject to no Diseases, and therefore can have
no need of Physicians. However, they have excellent Medicines
composed of Herbs, to cure accidental Bruises and Cuts in the




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


313


Pastern or Frog of the Foot by sharp Stones, as well as other
Maims and Hurts in the several Parts of the Body.
They calculate the Year by the Revolution of the Sun and the
Moon, but use no subdivisions into Weeks. They are well enough
acquainted with the Motions of those two luminaries, and understand the Nature of Eclipses; and this is the utmost Progress of
their Astrono)m'.
In Poetry they must be allowed to excell all other Mortals;
wherein the Justness of their Similes, and the Minuteness, as well
as Exactness of their Descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their
Verses abound very much in both of these, and usually contain
either some exalted Notions of Friendship and Benevolence, or
the Praises of those who were Victors in Races, and other bodily
Exercises. Their Buildings, although very rude and simple, are
not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all
Injuries of Cold and Heat. They have a kind of Tree which at
Forty Years old loosens in the Root, and falls with the first Storm;
they grow very strait, and being pointed like Stakes with a sharp
Stone, (for the Holuyihnnms know not the Use of Iron) they stick
them erect in the Ground about ten Inches asunder, and then weave
in Oat-straw, or sometimes Wattles betwixt them. The Roof is
made after the same manner, and so are the Doors.
The Iozyyhnhnnms use the hollow Part between the Pastern and
the Hoof of their Fore-feet, as we do our Hands, and this with
greater Dexterity, than I could first imagine.  I have seen a
White Mare of our Family thread a Needle (which I lent her on
purpose) with that Joynt. They milk their Cows, reap their Oats,
and do all the Work which requires Hands, in the same manner.
They have a kind of hard Flints, which by grinding against other
Stones, they form into Instruments, that serve instead of Wedges,
Axes, and Hammers.   With Tools made of these Flints, they
likewise cut their Hay, and reap their Oats, which there groweth
naturally in several Fields: The Yahoos draw home the Sheaves in
Carriages, and the Servants tread them in several covered Huts, to
get out the Grain, which is kept in Stores. They make a rude kind
of earthen and wooden Vessels, and bake the former in the Sun.




314


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


If they can avoid Casualties, they die only of Old-Age, and are
buried in the obscurest Places that can be found, their Friends
and Relations expressing neith Joy nor Grief at their Departure,
nor does the dying Person discover the least Regret that he is
leaving the World, any more than if he were upon returning
home from a Visit to one of his Neighbours; I remember my
Master having once made an Appointment with a Friend and
his Family to come to his House upon some Affair of Importance,
on the Day fixed, the Mistress and her two Children came very
late; she made two Excuses, first for her Husband, who, as she
said, happened that very Morning to Shnuzzelzh. The Word is
strongly expressive in their Language, -but not easily rendered
into Enzgish, it signifies, to retire to hisfirst Mother. Her Excuse
for not coming sooner, was, that her Husband dying late in the
-~Morning, she was a good while consulting her Servants about a
convenient Place where his Body should be laid; and I observed
she behaved herself at our House, as chearfully as the rest, and
died about three Months after.
They live generally to Seventy or Seventy-five Years, very
seldom to Fourscore: Some Weeks before their Death they feel
a gradual Decay, but without Pain. During this time they are
much visited by their Friends, because they cannot go abroad,
with their usual Ease and Satisfaction.  However, about ten
Days before their Death, which they seldom fail in computing,
they return the Visits that have been made them by those who
are nearest in the Neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient
Sledge drawn by Yahoos, which Vehicle they use, not only upon
this Occasion, but when they grow old upon long Journeys, or
when they are lamed by any Accident. And therefore when the
dying Houyhnhnms return those Visits, they take a solemn leave
of their Friends, as if they were going to some remote Part of the
Country, where they designed to pass the rest of their Lives.
I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the
louyhznhnms have no Word in their Language to express any
thing that is Ez!il, except what they borrow from the Deformities
or ill Qualities of the Yahoos. Thus they denote the Folly of a




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.                315
Servant, an Omission of a Child, a Stone that cut their Feet, a
continuance of foul or unseasonable Weather, and the like, by
adding to each the Epithet of Yahoo, For Instance, hhnm Yahoo,
W[hnahioli Yahoo, YnIdhmndie'ihblia Yahoo, and an ill contrived
House, Yynlhohnhnmrohlnw Yahoo.
I could with great Pleasure enlarge farther upon the Manners
and Virtues of this excellent People; but intending in a short
time to publish a Volume by itself expressly upon that Subject,
I refer the reader thither. And in the mean time, proceed to
relate my own sad Catastrophe.




316


G ULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER X.
The Author's Oecononzy and happ y LZ~fe among the Houyhnhnms.
His great Improovement in Virtue, by conversing witih Ithem.
Their Conversations.  The Author has notice given h/im by his
AMaster that he Imust departfroit   the Country. He ftlls into
a Swoon for Grief; but submits. He contrives andfinishes a
Canoo, by the help of a Fellow-Servant, and puts to Sea at a
venture.
I HAD settled my little Oeconomy to my own Heart's content.
My Master had ordered a Room for me after their manner,
about six Yards from the House, the Sides and Floors of which
I plastered with Clay, and covered with Rush-mats of my own
contriving; I had beaten Hemp, which there grows wild, and
made of it a sort of Ticking: This I filled with the Feathers of
several Birds I had taken with Springes made of Yahoos Hairs,
and were excellent Food. I had worked two Chairs with my
Knife, the Sorrel Nag helping me in the grosser and more
laborious Part. When my Cloaths were worn to Rags, I made
myself others with the Skins of Rabbets, and of a certain beautiful Animal about the same size, called NnZuhnoh, the Skin of
which is covered with a fine Down. Of these I made very tolerable Stockings. I soled my Shoes with Wood, which I cut from
a Tree, and fitted to the upper Leather, and when this was worn
'  out, I supplied it with the Skins of Yahoos dried in the Sun. I
often got Honey out of hollow Trees, which I mingled with
Water, or eat with my Bread. No Man could more verify the
Truth of these two maxims, That Naiure is very easily satisfied;
and, That NAecessity is the Mother of Invention. I enjoyed perfect




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


317


Health of Body and Tranquility of Mind; I did not find the
Treachery or Inconstancy of a Friend, nor the Injuries of a
secret or open Enemy. I had no occasion of bribing, flattering
or pimping, to procure the Favour of any great Man or of his
Minion. I wanted no Fence against Fraud or Oppression;
Here was neither Physician to destroy my Body, nor Lawyer
to ruin my Fortune; No Informer to watch my Words, and
Actions, or forge Accusations against me for hire: Here were no
Gibers, Censurers, Backbiters, Pick-pockets, Highwaymen, Housebreakers, Attorneys, Bawds, Buffoons, Gamesters, Politicians, Wits,
splenetick, tedious Talkers, Controversists, Ravishers, Murderers,
Robbers, Virtuosos, no Leaders or Followers of Party and
Faction: No encouragers to Vice, by Seducement or Examples:
No Dungeon, Axes, Gibbets, Whipping-posts, or Pillories: No
cheating Shop-keepers or Mechanicks: No Pride, Vanity: or
Affectation: No Fops, Bullies, Drunkards, strolling Whores, or
Poxes: No ranting, lewd, expensive Wives: No stupid, proud
Pedants: No importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing Companions: No Scoundrels,
raised from the Dust for the sake of their Vices, or Nobility
thrown into it on account of their Virtues: No Lords, Fidlers,
Judges, or Dancing-Masters.
I had the favour of being admitted to several Htozuyhunhnzzs,
who came to visit or dine with my Master, where his Honour
graciously suffered me to wait in the Room, and listen to their
Discourse. Both he and his Company would often descend to
ask me Questions, and receive my Answers. I had also sometimes the Honour of attending my Master in his Visits to others.
I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a Question, and
then I did it with inward Regret, because it was a Loss of so..
much Time for improving myself: But I was infinitely delighted, --
with the Station of an humbler Auditor in such Conversations,
where nothing passed but what was useful, expressed in the fewest  l t
and most significant Words; where the greatest Decency was
observed, without the least Degree of Ceremony; where no
Person spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his




9


318              GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
Companions: Where there was no Interruption, Tediousness,
Heat, or Difference of Sentiments. They have a Notion, That
when People are met together, a short Silence doth much improve
Conversation: This I found to be true; for during those little
Intermissions of Talk, new Ideas would arise in the Thoughts,
which very much enlivened their Discourse. Their Subjects are
generallyon Friendship and Benevolence, on Order and Oeconomy,
sometimes upon the visible Operations of Nature, or ancient
Traditions, upon the Bounds and Limits of Virtue, upon the
unerring Rules of Reason, or upon some Determinations, to be
taken at the next great Assembly; and often upon the various
Excellencies of Poetry.  I may add without Vanity, that my
presence often gave them sufficient Matter for Discourse, because
it afforded my Master an Occasion of letting his Friends into the
History of me and my Country, upon which they were all pleased
to descant in a manner not very advantageous to Human Kind;
and for that Reason I shall not repeat what they said: Only I
may be allowed to observe, That his Honour, to my great Admiration, appeared to understand the Nature of Yah/oos in all Countries much better than myself. He went through all our Vices
and Follies, and discovered many which I had never mentioned to
him, by only supposing what Qualities a Yahoo of their Country,
with a small proportion of Reason, might be capable of exerting;
and concluded, with too much Probability, how vile as well as
miserable such a Creature must be.
I freely confess, that all the little Knowledge I have of any
value, was acquired by the Lectures I received from my Master,
and from hearing the Discourses of him and his Friends; to
which I should be prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest
and wisest Assembly in Europe. I admired the Strength, Comeliness, and Speed of the Inhabitants; and such a Constellation of
*Virtues in such Amiable Persons produced in me the highest
Veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural Awe
which the Yahoos and all other animals bear towards them, but
i, grew upon me by Degrees, much sooner than I imagined,
and was mingled with a respectful Love and Gratitude, that




*


A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYIINHNMS.               319
they would condescend to distinguish me from the rest of my
Species.
When I thought of my Family, my Friends, and my Countrymen, or Human Race in general, I considered them as they realiy
were, )Tahoos in Shape and T)isposition, only a little civilized, and
qualified with the Gift of Speech, but making no other use of
Reason, than to improve and multiply those Vices, whereof their
Brethren in this Country had only the share that Nature allotted
them. When I happened to behold the Reflection of my own
Form in a Lake or a Fountain, I turned away my Face in Horror
and Detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of a
common Yahoo, than of my own Person. By conversing with the
Ilouyiihnhnis, and looking upon them with Delight, I fell to imitate their Gate and Gesture, which is now grown into an Habit,
and my Friends often tell me, in a blunt way, that I trot like a
Horse, which, however, I take for a great Compliment: Neither
shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the Voice
and manner of the HIol'/inhnmns, and hear myself ridiculed on
that account without the least mortification.
In the midst of all this Happiness, and when I looked upon myself
to be fully settled for Life, my Master sent for me one Morning a
little earlier than his usual Hour. I observed by his Countenance
that he was in some Perplexity, and at a Loss how to begin what
he had to speak. After a short Silence, he told me, He did not
know how I would take what he was going to say; that in the
last general Assembly, when the Affair of the YahJoos was entered
upon, the Representatives had taken offence at his keeping a
Yahoo (meaning myself) in his Family more like a Houynaihnin/i,
than a Brute Animal. That he was known frequently to converse
with me, as if he could receive some Advantage or Pleasure in
my Company: That such a Practice was not agreeable to Reason
or Nature, nor a thing ever heard of before among them. The
Assembly did therefore exhort him, either to employ me like the
rest of my Species, or command me to swim back to the Place
from whence I came. That the first of these Expedients was
utterly rejected by all the Hozyhnlhnmis, who had ever seen me at




320


G ULLI VER'S TRA VELS.


his House or their own: For they alledged, That because I had
some Rudiments of Reason, added to the natural Pravity of those
Animals, it was to be feared, I might be able to seduce them into
the woody and mountainous Parts of the Country, and bring them
in Troops by Night to destroy the Houyhthnmls Cattle, as being
naturally of the ravenous Kind, and averse from Iabour.
My Master added, That he was daily pressed by the Houyhn-  hnms of the Neighbourhood to have the Assembly's Exhortation
\  executed, which he could not put off much longer. He doubted
it would be impossible for me to swim to another Country, and
therefore wished I would contrive some sort of Vehicle resembling
those I had described to him, that might carry me on the Sea,
in which Work I should have the Assistance of his own Servants,
as well as those of his Neighbours. He concluded, That for his
own Part he could have been content to keep me in his Service
as long as I lived, because he found I had cured myself of some
bad Habits and Dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my
inferior Nature was capable, to imitate the Ilouy/hnhlnms.
I should here observe to the Reader, That a Decree of the
general Assembly in this Country, is expressed by the Word
Hnhloayn, which signifies an Exhortation; as near as I can
render it: For they have no Conception how a rational Creature. can be colpelled, but only advised, or exhorted, because no Person
can disobey Reason, without giving up his Claim to be a rational
Creature.
I was struck with the utmost Grief and Despair at my Master's
Discourse, and being unable to support the Agonies I was under,
I fell into a Swoon at his Feet; when I came to myself, he told
me, that he concluded I had been dead. (For these People are
subject to no such Imbecilities of Nature). I answered, in a
faint Voice, That Death would have been too great ai Happiness; that although I could not blame the Assembly's Exhortatio;, or the Urgency of his Friends; yet in my weak and corrupt
Judgment, 1 thought it might consist with Reason to have been
less rigorous. That I could not swim a League, and probably
the nearest Land to theirs might be distant above  n.hpdred




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


32r


That many Materials, necessary for making a small Vessel to
carry me off, were wholly wanting in this Country, which however, I would attempt in Obedience and Gratitude to his Honour,
although I concluded the Thing to be impossible, and therefore
looked on my self as already devoted to Destruction. That the
certain Prospect of unnatural Death, was the least of my Evils:
For, supposing I should escape with Life by some strange adventure, how could I think with Temper, of passing my Days among
Yahoos, and relapsing into my old Corruptions, for want of
Examples to lead and keep me within the Paths of Virtue. That
I knew too well upon what solid Reasons all the Determinations
of the wise Houynuznms were founded, not to be shaken by
Arguments of mine, a miserable Yahoo; and therefore after presenting him with my humble Thanks for the Offer of his Servants
Assistance in making a Vessel, and desiring a reasonable Time
for so difficult a Work, I told him I would endeavour to preserve
a wretched Being; and, if ever I returned to Enoglanzd, was not
without Hopes of being useful to my own Species, by celebrating
the praises of the renowned Hozeylyhnmis, and proposing their
Virtues to the Imitation of Mankind.
My Master in a few Words made me a very gracious Reply,
and allowed me the space of two fontihs to finish my Boat; and
ordered the Sorrel Nag, my Fellow-Servant, (for so at this distance
I may presume to call him) to follow my Instructions, because I
told my hMaster, that his Help would be sufficient, and I knew
he had a Tenderness for me.
In his Company, my first Business was to go to that Part of
the Coast, where my rebellious Crew had ordered me to be set on
Shore. I got upon a Height, and looking on every side into the
Sea, fancied I saw a small Island, towards the NAorth-/East: I
took out my Pocket-glass, and could then clearly distinguish it
about five Leagues off, as I computed; but it appeared to the
Sorrel Nag to be only a blue Cloud: For, as he had no Conception of any Country beside his own, so he could not be as expert
in distinguishing remote Objects at Sea, as we who so much
converse in that Element.
x




322


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


After I had discovered this Island, I considered no farther;
but resolved, it should, if possible, be the first Place of my
Banishment, leaving the Consequence to Fortune.
I returned Home, and consulting with the Sorrel Nag, we
went into a Copse at some distance, where I with my Knife,
and he with a sharp Flint fastened very artificially, after their
manner, to a wooden Handle, cut down several Oak Wattles
about the Thickness of a Walking-staff, and some larger Pieces.
But I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular Description
of my own Mechanicks; let it suffice to say, that in six Weeks
time, with the Help of the Sorrel Nag, who performed the Parts
that required most Labour, I finished a sort of Indian Canoo,
but much larger, covering it with the Skins of Yahoos well
stitched together, with hempen Threads of my own making.
My Sail was likewise composed of the Skins of the same Animal;
but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older being too
tough and thick, and I likewise provided myself with four
Paddles. I laid in a Stock of boiled Flesh of Rabbets and Fowls,
and took with me two Vessels, one filled with Milk and the other
with Water.
I tried my Canoo in a large Pond near my Master's House,
and then corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the Chinks
with Yahoos Tallow, till I found it stanch, and able to bear me,
and my Freight. And when it was as compleat as I could
possibly make it I had it drawn on a Carriage very gently by
Yahoos, to the Seaside, under the conduct of the Sorrel Nag, and
another Servant.
When all was ready, and the Day come: fi c l, Departure, I
took leave of my Master and Lady, and the i!;ie Family, mine
Eyes flowing with Tears, and my Heart quite sul;:. with Grief.
But his honour, out of Curiosity, and perhaps (if f nay speak it
without Vanity) partly out of Kindness, vwas dete-1.-ined to see
me in my Canoo, and got several of his n-ighbo::,i-ig Friends to
accompany him. I was forced to wait above;::.   T-our for the
Tide, and then observing the Wind very fo:rit; ately bearing
towards the Island, to which I intende-d to ntcer t-.y Course, I




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.                323
took a second Leave of my Master: But as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his Hoof, he did me the Honour to raise it
gently to my Mouth. I am not ignorant how much I have been
censured for mentioning this last Particular. For my Detractors
are pleased to think it improbable, that so Illustrious a Person
should descend to give so great a Mark of Distinction to a
Creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgot, how apt some
Travellers are to boast of extraordinary Favours they have received. But if these Censurers were better acquainted with the
noble and courteous Disposition of the Houyhnhnms, they would
soon change their Opinion.
I paid my respects to the rest of the Houyhnhnms in his
Honour's Company; then getting into my Canoo, I pushed off
from Shore.




324


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


CHAPTER XI.
The Autho's dangeo4Vo~yate    He arrives at New-Holland,
hoping to settle there. Is wounded with an Arrow by one of
the Natives. Is seized and carried by Force into a Portugueze
Ship. lThe great Civilities of the Capitain.  The Author
arrives at England.
I BEGAN this desperate Voyage on February 15, 17 ii, at 9
o'Clock in the Morning. The Wind was very favourable;
however, I made use at first only of my Paddles, but considering
I should soon be weary, and that the Wind might chop about, I
ventured to set up my little Sail; and thus with the help of the
Tide, I went at the rate of a League and a half an Hour, as near
as I could guess. My Master and his Friends continued on the
Shoar, till I was almost out of sight; and I often heard the
Sorrel Nag (who always loved me) crying out, Hnuy illa nyha
majah Yahoo, Take care of thyself, gentle Yahoo.
My Design was, if possible, to discover some small Island uninhabited, yet sufficient by my Labour to furnish me with the
Necessities of Life which I would have thought a greater Happiness than to be first Minister in the Politest Court of Europe; so
horrible was the Idea I conceived of returning to live in the
Society and under the Government of Yahoos. For in such a
Solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own Thoughts, and
reflect with Delight on the Virtues of those inimitable Houyhnhnms, without any Opportunity of degenerating into the Vices and
Corruptions of my own Species.
The Reader may remember what I related when my Crew conspired against me, and confined me to, my Cabbin. How I




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHHNNMS.


325


continued there several Weeks, without knowing what Course we
took, and when I was put a Shoar in the Long-boat, how the
Sailors told me with Oaths, whether true or false, that they knew
not in what Part of the World we were. However, I did then
believe us to be about ten Degrees Southward of the Cape
of Good Hope, or about 45 Degrees Southern Latitude, as I
gathered from some general Words I over-heard among them,
being I supposed to the South-East in their intended Voyage to
Madagascar. And although this were but little better than Conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my Course Eastwar-d, hoping to
reach the South- [Vest Coast of Neiz Holland, and perhaps some
such Island as I desired, lying Wlestward of it. The wind was
full lWest, and by six in the Evening I computed I had gone
Eastward at least eighteen Leagues, when I spied a very small
Island about half a League off, which I soon reached. It was
nothing but a Rock with one Creek naturally arched by the force
of Tempests. Here I put in my Canoo, and climbing up a part
of the Rock, I could plainly discover Land to the East, extending from South to North. I lay all Night in my Canoo, and
repeating my Voyage early in the Morning, I arrived in seven
Hours to the South-East Point of N.ew H]olland. This confirmed
me in the opinion I have long entertained, that the Maps and
Charts place this Country at least three Degrees more to the
East than it really is; which Thought I communicated many
Years ago to my worthy Friend Mr. Herman Moll, and gave
him my Reasons for it, although he hath rather chosen to follow
other Authors.
I saw no Inhabitants in the Place where I landed, and being
unarmed, I was afraid of venturing far into the Country. I
found some Shell-fish on the Shore, and eat them raw, not daring
to kindle a Fire, for fear of being discovered by the Natives. I
continued three Days feeding on Oysters and Limpits, to save
my own Provisions, and I fortunately found a Brook of excellent
Water, which gave me great Relief.
On the fourth Day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw
twenty or thirty Natives upon a Height, not above five hundred




326


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


Yards from me. They were stark naked, Men, Women, and
Children round a Fire, as I could discover by the Smoak. One
of them spied me, and gave notice to the rest; five of them advanced towards me leaving the Women and Children at the Fire.
I made what haste I could to the Shore, and getting into my
Canoo, shoved off: The Savages observing me retreat ran after
me; and before I could get far enough into the Sea, discharged
an Arrow, which wounded me deeply on the inside of my left
knee (I shall carry the Mark to my Grave.) I apprehended the
Arrow might be poisoned, and paddling out of the reach of their
Darts (being a calm Day) I made a shift to suck the Wound, and
dress it as well as I could.
I was at a Loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same
Landing-place, but stood to the North, and was forced to paddle;
for the Wind though very gentle was against me, blowing NorthWVest. As I was looking about for a secure Landing-place, I saw
a Sail to the Nborth-2rorth-East, which appearing every Minute
more visible, I was in some Doublt, whether I should wait for
them or no, but at last my Detestation of the Yahoo Race prevailed, and turning my Canoo, I sailed and paddled together to
the South, and got into the same Creek from whence I set out in
the Morning, choosing rather to trust myself among these Barbarians, than live with European Yahoos. I drew up my Canoo
as close as I could to the Shore, and hid myself behind a Stone
by a little Brook, which, as I have already said, was excellent
Water.
The Ship came within half a league of this Creek, and sent out
her Long-Boat with Vessels to take in fresh Water (for the Place
it seems was very well known) but I did not observe it till the
Boat was almost on Shore, and it was too late to seek another
Hiding-place. The Seamen at their landing observed my Canoo,
and rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that the Owner
could not be far off. Four of them well-armed searched every
Cranny and Lurking-hole, till at last they found me flat on my
Face behind the Stone. They gazed a while in admiration at
my strange uncouth Dress, my Coat made of Skins, my wooden




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMSS.


327


soaled Shoes, and my furred Stockings; from whence, however,
they concluded I was not a Native of the Place, who all go naked.
One of the Seamen in Por/igueze bid me rise, and asked who I
was. I understood the Language very well, and getting upon
my Feet, said, I was a poor Yahoo, banished from the Houyhn-/
hnimS, and desired they would please to let me depart. They
admired to hear me answer them in their own Tongue, and saw
by my Complexion I must be an European; but were at a loss
to know what I meant by Yahoos and Houyhnihnms, and at the
same time fell a laughing at my strange Tone in speaking, which
resembled the Neighing of a Horse. I trembled all the while
betwixt Fear and Hatred: I again desired leave to depart, and
was gently moving to my Canoo; but they laid hold on me,
desiring to know, what Country I was of? whence I came? with
many other Questions.  I told them, I was born in England,
from whence I came about five Years ago, and then their Country
and ours were at Peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat
me as an Enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a poor
Yahoo, seeking some desolate Place where to pass the Remainder
of his unfortunate Life.
When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any
thing so unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a
Dog or a Cow should speak in Eng-land, as a Yahoo in Hoay/hnhlnm-land. The honest Porfugueze were equally amazed at my
strange Dress, and the odd manner of delivering my words, which
however they understood very well. They spoke to me with
great Humanity, and said they were sure their Captain would
carry me gratis to Lisbon, from whence I might return to my own
Country; that two of the Seamen would go back to the Ship,
inform the Captain of what they had seen, and receive his Orders;
in the mean time, unless I would give my solemn Oath not to
fly, they would secure me by Force. I thought it best to comply
with their Proposal. They were very curious to know my Story,
but I gave them very little Satisfaction; and they all conjectured,
that my Misfortunes had impaired my Reason. In two Hours
the Boat, which went loaden with Vessels of Water, returned with




32-8


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


the Captain's Commands to fetch me on Board. I fell on my
Knees to preserve my Liberty; but all was in vain, and the Men
having tied me with Cords, heaved me into the Boat, from
whence I was taken into the Ship, and from thence into the
Captain's Cabbin.
His Name was Pedro de Afendez, he was a very courteous and
generous Person; he entreated me to give some Account of myself,
and desired to know what I would eat or drink; said I should be
used as well as himself, and spoke so many obliging things, that
I wondered to find such Civilities from a Ya/oo. However, I
remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell
of him and his Men. At last I desired something to eat out of
my own Canoo; but he ordered me a Chicken and some excellent
Vine, and then directed that I should be put to Bed in a very
clean Cabbin. I would not undress myself, but lay on the Bedcloaths, and in half an Hour stole out, when I thought the Crew
was at Dinner, and getting to the side of the Ship was going to
leap into the Sea, and swim for my Life, rather than continue
among Yahoos. But one of the Seamen prevented me, and having
informed the Captain, I was chained to my Cabbin.
After Dinner Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my
reason for so desperate an Attempt; assured me he only meant
to do me all the Service he was able, and spoke so very movingly,
that at last I descended to treat him like an Animal that had some
little portion of Reason. I gave him a very short Relation of my
Voyage, of the Conspiracy against me by my own Men, of the
Country where they set me on Shore, and of my three Years Residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a Dream or
a Vision; whereat I took great Offence; for I had quite forgot the
Faculty of Lying, so peculiar to Yahoos in all Countries where
they presie, and consequently the Disposition of suspecting
Truth in others of their own Species. I asked him, Whether it
were the Custom in his Country to say the Thing- that was not?
I assured him I had almost forgotten what he meant by Falsehood,
and if I had lived a thousand Years in Houyhnhinmn-iand, I should
never have heard a lye from the meanest Servant; that I was




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.


329


altogether indifferent whether he believed me or no; but however,
in return for his Favours, I would give so much Allowance to the
Corruption of his Nature, as to answer any Objection he would
please to make, and then he might easily discover the Truth.
The Captain, a wise Man, after many Endeavours to catch me
tripping in some part of my Story, at last began to have a better
Opinion of my Veracity, and the rather because he confessed, he
met with a Dutch Skipper, who pretended to have landed with
Five others of his Crew upon a certain Island or Continent South
of NTew-ollatnd, where they. went for fresh Water, and observed
a Horse driving before him several Animals exactly resembling
those I described under the Name of Yahoos, with some other
Particulars, which the Captain said he had forgot; because he
then concluded them all to be Lies. But he added, that since I
professed so inviolable an Attachment to Truth, I must give him
my Word of Honour to bear him company in this Voyage without
attempting any thing against my Life, or else he would continue
me a Prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon. I gave him the Promise
he required; but at the same time protested that I would suffer
the greatest Hardships rather than return to live among Yahoos.
Our Voyage passed without any considerable Accident. In
Gratitude to the Captain I sometimes sate with him at his earnest
Request, and strove to conceal my Antipathy to human Kind,
although it often broke out, which he suffered to pass without
Observation. But the greatest part of the Day, I confined myself to my Cabbin, to avoid seeing any of the Crew. The Captain
had often entreated me to strip myself of my savage Dress, and
offered to lend me the best Suit of Cloaths he had. This I would
not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any
thing that had been on the Back of a Yahoo. I only desired he
would lend me two clean Shirts which having been washed since
he wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I
changed every second Day, and washed them myself.
We arrived at Lisbon, N2ov. 5, 17I5.  At our landing the
Captain forced me to cover myself with his Cloak, to prevent the
Rabble from crouding about me. I was conveyed to his own




330


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.


House, and at my earnest Request, he led me up to the highest
Room backwards. I conjured him to conceal from all Persons
what I had told him of the Houyhnh/nms, because the least hint
of such a Story would not only draw Numbers of People to see
me, but probably, put me in Danger of being imprisoned, or
burnt by the Inquisition. The Captain persuaded me to accept
a suit of cloaths newly made, but I would not suffer the Taylor to
take my Measure; however, Don Pedro being almost of my Size,
they fitted me well enough. He accoutred me with other Necessaries all new, which I aired for twenty-four Hours before I would
use them.
The Captain had no Wife, nor above three Servants, none of
which were suffered to attend at Meals, and his whole department
was so obliging, added to the very good human Understanding,
that I really began to tolerate his Company. He gained so far
upon me, that I ventured to look out of the back Window. By
degrees I was brought into another Room, from whence I peeped
into the Street, but drew my Head back in a Fright. In a week's
time he seduced me down to the Door. I found my Terror
gradually lessened, but my Hatred and Contempt seemed to
encrease. I was at last bold enough to walk the Street in his
Company, but kept my Nose well stopped with Rue, or sometimes with Tobacco.
In ten Days Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account
of my Domestick Affairs, put it upon me as a Matter of Honour
and Conscience, that I ought to return to my native Country,
and live at home with my Wife and Children. He told me,
there was an Elnglish Ship in Port just ready to sail, and he would
furnish me with all things necessary. It would be tedious to
repeat his Arguments, and my Contradictions. He said it was
altogether impossible to find such a solitary Island as I had
desired to live in; but I might command in my own House, and
pass my time in a manner as recluse as I pleased.
I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon
the 24th Day of Noveolber; in an English Merchant-Man, but
who was the Master I never enquired. Don Pedro accompanied




A VOYA GE TO THE HOUYHINHNMS.


33I


me to the Ship, and lent me Twenty Pounds. He took kind
leave of me, and embraced me at parting, which I bore as well
as I could. During the last Voyage I had no Commerce with
the Master or any of his Men, but pretending I was sick kept
close in my Cabbin. On the Fifth of Decemltier, 1715, we
cast Anchor in the Down;is about Nine in the Morning, and at
Three in the Afternoon I got safe to my House at Roftier-iiil.
My WAife and Family received me with great Surprise and Joy,
because they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely
confess the sight of them filled me only with Hatred, Disgust and
Contempt, and the more by reflecting on the near Alliance I had
to them. For, although since my unfortunate Exile from the
ficuz'/iznhnJin Country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the
Sight of Yahoos, and to converse with Don Pedro de 3lenz(dez; yet
my Memory and Imaginations were perpetually filled with the
Virtues and Ideas of those exalted fouy/hinv/zinms. And when I
began to consider, that by copulating with one of the Yahoo
Species I became a Parent of more, it struck me with the utmost
Shame, Confusion and Horror.
As soon as I entered the House, my Wife took me in her
Arms, and kissed me, at which having not been used to the
Touch of that odious Animal for so many Years, I fell in a Swoon
for almost an Hour. At the time I am writing it is Five Years
since my last Return to ElinglandZ: During the first Year I could
not endure my Wife or Children in my Presence, the very Smeli
of them was intolerable, much less could I suffer them to eat in
the same Room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch
my Bread, or drink out of the same Cup, neither was I ever able
to let one of them take me by the Hand. The first Money I
laid out was to buy two young Stone-Horses which I keep in
a good Stable, and next to them the Groom is my greatest
Favourite; for I feel my Spirits revived by the Smell he contracts in the Stable. tMy Horses understand me tolerably well;
I converse with them at least four Hours every Day. They are
Strangers to Bridle or Saddle, they live in great Amity with me,
and Friendship to each other.




332


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


CHAPTER XII.
The Author's Veracity.  llis Design in 2ublishing this Wlork..His
Censure of those Travellers 7who swerve fronm the Truth.  The
Author clears himselffronm ant) sinister Ends in writing.  An
Objection answered.  The Method of lzntling, Colonies. lsis
ANative Country commended.  The izght of the Crown to those
Countries described by the Author is justified.  The DiffculZty
of conquering them.  The Author takes his last leave of the
Reader. proposeth his Manner of Living for the future, gives
good Advi,e, and concludes.
THUS, Gentle Reader, I have given thee a faithful History of
my Travels for Sixteen Years, and above Seven Months,
wherein I have not been so studious of Ornament as Truth.  I
could perhaps like others have astonished thee with strange improbable Tales;(ut I rather chose to relate plain Matter of Fact
in the simplest Manner and Style, because my principal Design
was to Inform, and not to amuse theeJ
It is easy for us who travel into remote Countries, which are
seldom  visited by Englishmen or other Euzropeans, to form
Descriptions of wonderful Animals both at Sea and Land.,,n Whereas a Traveller's chief Aim should be to make Men wiser
) j. and better, and to improve their Minds by the bad as well as good
E\ Example of what they deliver concerning foreign Places.
I could heartily wish a Law was enacted, that every Traveller
' before he were permitted to publish his Voyages, should be
-y   obliged to make Oath before the Lortd Hig  Chancellor that all
he intended to print was absolutely true to the best of his Knowledge; for then the WTorld would no longer be deceived as it




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYIINHNMS.


333


usually is, while some Writers, to make their Works pass the
better upon the Publick, impose the grossest Falsities on the un-,.,..
wary Reader. I have perused several Books of Travels with great
'Delight in my younger Days; but having since gone over most
Parts of the Globe, and been able to contradict many fabulous
Accounts from my own Observation, it hath given me a great
Disgust against this Part of Reading, and some Indignation to see
the Credulity of Mankind so impudently abused. Therefore since
my Acquaintance were pleased to think my poor Endeavours
might not be unacceptable to my Country, I imposed on myself as
a Maxim never to be swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to
Truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least temptations
to vary from it, while I retain in my Mind the Lectures and
Example of my Noble Master, and the other Illustrious Houy-  '    '
hlnhlnms, of whom I had so long the Honour to be an humble
Hearer.                                                          -
-        Arec si miserum Fortuna Sinonzem
Fin.it, vanuzm ectian, mendacemzquz e iltmroba finget.
I know very well how little Reputation is to be got by Writings
which require neither Genius nor Learning, nor indeed any other
Talent, except a good Memory, or an exact Journal. I know
likewise, the Writers of Travels, like Dictionary-lMakers, are sunk
into Oblivion by the Weight and Bulk of those who come after,
and therefor lie uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such
Travellers who shall hereafter visit the Countries described in this
Work of mine, may by detecting my Errors, (if there be any) and
adding many new Discoveries of their own, justle me out of
Vogue, and stand in my Place, making the World forget that I
was ever an Author. This indeed would be too great a Mortification if I wrote for Fame: But, as my sole Intention was the
PUBLICK GOOD, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For who
can read of the Virtues I have mentioned in the Glorious Houyhnhinms, without being ashamed of his own Vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing Animal of his Country?
I shall say nothing of those remote Nations where Yahoos preside




334              GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
amongst which the least corrupted are the B-robdzingnagSia i, whose
wise Maxims in Morality and Government, it would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear descanting farther, and rather
leave the Judicious Reader to his own Remarks and Applications.
I am not a little pleased that this Work of mine can possibly
meet with no Censurers: For what Objections can be made
against a Writer who relates only plain Facts that happened in
such distant Countries, where we have not the least Interest with
respect either to Trade or Negotiations? I have carefully avoided
every Fault with which common Writers of Travels are often too
justly charged. Besides, I meddle not with any Parly, but write
without Passion, Prejudice, or Ill-will against any Man or number
of Men whatsoever. I write for the noblest End, to inform and
instruct Mankind, over whom I may, without Breach of Modesty,
pretend to some Superiority from the Advantages I received by
conversing so long among the most accomplished Hoziy/rhnhlzns.
I write without any view towards Profit or Praise. I never suffer
a Word to pass that may look like Reflection, or possibly give
the least Offence even to those who are most ready to take it.
So that I hope I may with Justice pronounce myself an Author
perfectly blameless, against whom the Tribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers, Reflecters, Detecters, Remarkers will never
be able to find Matter for exercising their Talents.
I confess, it was whispered to me, that I was bound in Duty as
a Subject of England, to have given in a Memorial to a Secretary
of State at my first coming over; because whatever Lands are
discovered by a Subject, belong to the Crown. But I doubt
whether our Conquests in the Countries I treat of, would be as
easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans.
The Lilliputians I think are hardly worth the Charge of a Fleet
and Army to reduce them, and I question whether it might be
prudent or safe to attempt the Brobdingna,-iancs.  Or whether an
English Army would be much at their ease with the Flying Island
over their Heads. The HouYhlhn/nis, indeed, appear not to be
so well prepared for War, a Science to which they are perfect
Strangers, and especially against missive Weapons.  However,




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMI S.


335


supposing myself to be a Minister of State, I could never give
my Advice for invading them.  Their Prudence, Unanimity,
Unacquaintedness with Fear, and their Love of their Country
would amply supply all Defects in the Military Art. Imagine
Twenty thousand of them breaking into the midst of an Luropean
Army, confounding the Ranks, overturning the Carriages, battering
the Warriors Faces into Mumlnmy, by terrible Yerks from their
hinder Hoofs. For they would well deserve the Character given
to A zig-stlis; Recalcitrat undique ttlit/. But instead of Proposals
for conquering that magnanimous Nation, I rather wish they
were in a capacity or Disposition to send a sufficient Number of
their Inhabitants for civilizing zEurope, by teaching us the first
Principles of Honour, Justice, Truth, Temperance, Publick
Spirit, Fortitude, Chastity, Friendship, Benevolence, and Fideiity.
The Nlames of all which Virtues are still retained among us in
most Languages, and are to be met with in some modern as well
as ancient Authors; which I am able to assert from my own
small Reading.
But I had another Reason which made me less forward to enlarge
his Majesty's Dominions by my Discovery. To say the truth, I
had conceived a few Scruples with relation to the Distributive
Justice of Princes upon those Occasions. For instance, A Crew
of Pyrates are driven by a Storm they know not whither, at length
a Boy discovers Land from the Top-mast, they go on Shore to
Rob and Plunder; they see an harmless People, are entertained
with Kindness, they give the Country a new Name, they take
formal Possession of it for their King, they set up a rotten Plank
or a Stone for a Memorial, they murder two or three Dozen of
the Natives, bring away a Couple more by Force for a Sample,
return home, and get their Pardon. Here commences a new
Dominion acquired with a Title by Diizihe Rit. Ships are
sent with the first Opportunity, the Natives driven out or destroyed, their Princes tortured to discover their Gold; a free
Licence given to all Acts of Inhumanity and Lust, the Earth
reeking with the Blood of its Inhabitants: And tils execrable
Crew of Butchers employed in so pious an Expedition, is a




336


GULLIVER'S TRA VELS.


modrtn Colony sent to convert and civilize an idolatrous and
barbarous People.
But this Description, I confess, doth by no means affect the
BIritis/ Nation, who may be an Example to the whole World for
their Wisdom, Care, and Justice in Planting Colonies; their
liberal Endowments for the Advancement of Religion and Learning; their Choice of devout and able Pastors to propagate
ChristianitJ,, their Caution in stocking their Provinces with
People of sober Lives and Conversations from this the Mother
Kingdom; their strict regard to the Distribution of Justice in
supplying the Civil Administration through all their Colonies with
Officers of the greatest Abilities, utter strangers to Corruption;
and to crown all, by sending the most Vigilant and Virtuous
Governors, who have no other Views than the Happiness of the
People over whom they preside, and the Honour of the King
their Master.
But, as those Countries which I have described do not appear
to have a Desire of being conquered, and enslaved, murdered or
driven out by Colonies, nor abound either in Gold, Silver, Sugar or
Tobacco; I did humbly conceive they were by no means proper
Objects of our Zeal, our Valour, or our Interest. However, if
those whom it may concern, think fit to be of another Opinion,
I am ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully called, That no
Eturopean did ever visit these Countries before me. I mean, if
the Inhabitants ought to be believed; unless a Dispute may arise
about the two Yahoos, said to have been seen many Ages ago on
a Mountain in I~oziy,//ihnIii-land, from whence the Opinion is,
that the Race of those Brutes hath descended; and these, for
anything I know, may have been English, which indeed I was
apt to suspect from the Lineaments of their Posterity's Countenances, although very much defaced. But, how far that will go
to make out a Title, I leave to the Learned in Colony-Law.
But as to the Formality of taking Possession in my Sovereign's
Name, it never came once into my Thoughts; and if it-had, yet
as my Affairs then stood, I should perhaps in point of Prudence
and Self-preservation, have put it off to a better Opportunity.




A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNM.S.


337


Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be
raised against me as a Traveller, I here take a final Leave of all
my Courteous Readers, and return to enjoy my own Speculations
in my little Garden at Redriff to apply those excellent Lessons
of Virtue which I learned among the Houyl/hnms, to instruct
the Yaltoos of my own Family as far as I shall find them docile
Animals, to behold my Figure often in a Glass, and thus if
possible habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a
human Creature: To lament the Brutality of the Hozu)'hlhnnms
in my own Country, but always treat their Persons with Respect,
for the sake of my noble Master, his Family, his Friends, and the
whole Houy/hnhnm Race, whom these of ours have the Honour
to resemble in all their Lineaments, however their Intellectuals
came to degenerate.
I began last Week to permit my Wife to sit at Dinner with me,
at the farthest End of a long Table, and to answer (but with the
utmost brevity) the few Questions I ask'd her. Yet the smell of
a Yahoo continuing very offensive, I always keep my Nose well
stopt with Rue, Lavender, or Tobacco-leaves. And although it
be hard for a Man late in life to remove old Habits, I am not
altogether out of Hopes in some time to suffer a Neighbour Yahoo
in my Company without the Apprehensions I am yet under of his
Teeth or his Claws.
My Reconcilement to the Yahoo-kind in general might not be
so difficult if they would be content with those Vices and Follies
only, which Nature hath intitled them to. I am not in the least
provoked at the Sight of a Lawyer, a Pick-pocket, a Colonel, a
Fool, a Lord, a Gamester, a Politician, a Whore-master, a Physician, an Evidence, a Suborner, an Attorney, a Traitor, or the
like: This is all according to the due Course of Things: But
when I behold a Lump of Deformity, and Diseases both in Body
and Mind, smitten with Pridit immediately breaks all the
Measures of my Patience; neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an Animal and such a Vice could tally together.
The wise and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in all Excellencies that can adorn a Rational Creature, have no Name for this
Y


-4.
— ",4 XC~  V1
L,
-"^




338


G ULLI VER'S TRAVELS.


Vice in their Language, which hath no Terms to express any
tning that is evil, except those whereby they describe the detestable Qualities of their Yahoos, among which they were not able
to distinguish this of Pride, for want of thoroughly understanding
\,  Human Nature, as it sheweth itself in other Countries, where
4?  V/ that Animal presides. But I, who had more Experience, could
r  A   plainly observe some Rudiments of it among the wild Yahoos.
But the Houlyhnhngms, who live under the Government of
Reason, are no more proud of the good Qualities they possess,
/          than I should be for not wanting a Leg or an Arm, which no
AMan in his Wits would boast of, although he must be miserable
without them. I dwell the longer upon this Subject from the
Desire I have to make the Society of an English Yahoo by any
means not insupportable, and therefore I here entreat those who
have any Tincture of this absurd Vice, that they will not presume
to come in my Sight.


FINIS.


a




A LETTER
FROM
CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.
WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1727.
I HOPE you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall
be called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you
prevailed on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of
my travels, with direction to hire some young gentleman of either
university to put them in order, and correct the style, as my
cousin Dampier did by my advice in his book called "A Voyage
round the World."  But I do not remember I gave you power to
consent that any thing should be omitted, and much less that
any thing should be inserted: therefore, as to the latter, I do
here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a paragraph
about her majesty queen Anne, of most pious and glorious
memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than
any of human species. But you, or your interpolator, ought to
have considered, that as it was not my inclination, so was it not
decent to praise any animal of our composition before my master
Houylnhnm: and besides, the fact was altogether false; for to my
knowledge, being in England during some part of her majesty's
reign, she did govern by a chief minister; nay even by two successively, the first whereof was the lord of Godolphin, and the
second the lord of Oxford; so that you have made me say the
thing that was not. Likewise in the account of the academy of




340


A LETTER FROM GULLIVER


projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master
fHouzyhnnm, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or minced or changed them in such a manner, that I
do hardly know my own work. When I formerly hinted to you
something of this in a letter, you were pleased to answer, " That
you were afraid of giving offence; that people in power were very
watchful over the press, and apt not only to interpret, but to
punish every thing which looked like an inuendo " (as I think you
call it.) But, pray how could that which I spoke so many years
ago, and at above five thousand leagues' distance, in another
reign, be applied to any of the YaSoos, who now are said to
govern the herd; especially at a time when I little thought, or
feared, the unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the
most reason to complain, when I see these very Yahoos carried
by Houoyhjin/nms in a vehicle, as if they were brutes, and those
the rational creatures? And indeed to avoid so monstrous and
detestable a sight was one principal motive of my retirement
hither.
This much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself,
and to the trust I reposed in you.
I do in the next place complain of my own great want of judgment, in being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reason.
ings of you and some others, very much against my own opinion,
to suffer my travels to be published. Pray bring to your mind
how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on the
motive of public good, that the Yahoos were a species of animals
utterly incapable of amendment by precepts or example: and so
it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full stop put to all abuses
and corruptions, at least in this little island, as I had reason to expect; behold, after above six months' warning, I cannot learn that
my book has produced one single effect according to my intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when party
and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright;
pleaders honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense,
and Smithfield blazing with pyramids of law books; the young
nobility's education entirely changed; the physicians banished;
y                 n    rvrr~ri~r  uurrI~




TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.


341


the female Yahoos abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good
sense; courts and levees of great ministers thoroughly weeded
and swept; wit, merit, and learning, rewarded; all disgracers
of the press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but
their own cotton, and quench their thirst with their own ink.
These, and a thousand other reformations, I firmly counted upon
by your encouragement; as indeed they were plainly deducible
from the precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned,
that seven months were a sufficient time to correct every vice
and folly to which Yahoos are subject, if their natures had been
capable of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far
have you been from answering my expectation in any of your
letters, that on the contrary you are loading our carrier every
week with libels, and keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and
second parts; wherein I see myself accused of reflecting upon
great state folks; of degrading human nature (for so they have
still the confidence to style it), and of abusing the female sex. I
find likewise, that the writers of those bundles are not agreed
among themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be the
author of my own travels; and others make me author of books,
tohh I which I am wholly a stanger.
I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages
and returns; neither assigning the true year, nor the true month,
nor day of the month: and I hear the original manuscript is all
destroyed since the publication of my book; neither have I any
copy left; however, I have sent you some corrections, which you
may insert, if ever there should be a second edition: and yet I
cannot stand to them; but shall leave that matter to my judicious
and candid readers to adjust it as they please.
I hear some of our sea Yahoos find fault with my sea language,
as not proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it.
In my first voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the
oldest mariners, and learned to speak as they did. But I have
since found that the sea Yahoos are apt, like the land ones, to
become newfangled in their words, which the latter change every




342


A LETTER FROM GULLIVER


year; insomuch, as I remember upon each return to my own
country, their old dialect was so altered, that I could hard;y
understand the new. And I observe, when any Yahioos come
from London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither
of us are able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible
to the other.
If the censure of the Yahoos could any way affect me, I should
have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as
to think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain;
and have gone so far as to drop hints, that the fHouy/ihnuhnis and
Yahwos have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.
Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of Lilljput, 'robdingrag (for so the word should have been spelt, and not erroneously Brobdingnag), and Lajtn.a, I have never yet heard of any
Yahoo so presumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts
I have related concerning them; because the truth immediately
strikes every reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my account of the Hou.yh/ihnms or Yahoos, when it is
manifest as to the latter, there are so many thousands, even in this
country, who only differ from their brother brutes in IHouy/hnhnmland, because they use a sort of jabber, and do not go naked?
I wrote for their amendment, and not their approbation. The
united praise of the whole race would be of less consequence to
me, than the neighing of those two degenerate Hozyhnhnzms I
keep in my stable; because from these, degenerate as they are,
I still improve in some virtues without any mixture of vice.
Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so
degenerated as to defend my veracity?  Yahoo as I am, it is well
known through all Hoztli hnmin-land, that, by the instructions and
example of my illustrious master, I was able in the compass of
two years (although I confess with the utmost difficulty) to remove
that infernal habit of lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating,
so deeply rooted in the very souls of all my species; especially
the Europeans.
I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion;
but I forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely




TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.                 343
confess, that since my last some corruptions of my Yahoo nature
have revived in me by conversing with a few of your species, and
particularly those of my own family, by an unavoidable necessity;
else I should never have attempted so absurd a project as that of
reforming the Yahoo race in this kingdom: but I have now done
with all such visionary schemes for ever.
ASril 2, 1727.




r
I?I
I
I
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V


AN ACCOUNT
OF THE
COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN.1
WRITTE.N IN 1728,
-*4t ---R   EGOGE 2 was the thirty-fourth emperor of Japan, and began
his reign in the year 341 of the Christian era, succeeding
to Nena,3 a princess who governed with great felicity.
There had been a revolution in that empire about twenty-six
years before, which made some breaches in the hereditary line;
and Regoge, successor to Nena, although of the royal family, was
a distant relation.
There were two violent parties in the empire, which began in
the time of the revolution above mentioned; and at the death of
the empress Nena, were in the highest degree of animosity, each
charging the other with a design of introducing new gods, and
changing the civil constitution. The names of these two parties
were Husiges and Yortes.4 The latter were those whom Nena
the late empress most favoured toward the end of her reign, and
by whose advice she governed.
1 Much as the Dean seems to have been disposed to defend queen Anne and her
ministers, he seems to have been equally disposed to ridicule her successor and his
family; and it is probable that the pieces in which he does it (this " account of the
Court of Japan," and the "Directions for making a Birth-day Song,") were the
occasion of most of the other posthumous articles having been so long withheld
from the publick. BURKE.
2 King George I. Anagram of GEORGE,
3 Queen Anne, by anagram.
4 Whigs and Tories. Anagrams of Huigse and Toryes.




346       AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND
The Husige faction, enraged at their loss of power, made
private applications to Regoge, during the life of the empress;
which prevailed so far, that, upon her death, the new emperor
wholly disgraced the Yortes, and employed only the Husiges in
all his affairs. The Japanese author highly blames his imperial
majesty's proceeding in this affair; because it was allowed on all
hands, that he had then a happy opportunity of reconciling parties
for ever, by a moderating scheme.  But he, on the contrary,
began his reign by openly disgracing the principal and most
popular Yortes, some of which had been chiefly instrumental in
raising him to the throne. By this mistaken step, he occasioned
a rebellion: which, although it were soon quelled by some very
surprising turns of fortune; yet the fear, whether real or pretended, of new attempts, engaged him in such immense charges,
that instead of clearing any part of that prodigious debt left on
his kingdom by the former war, which might have been done by
any tolerable management, in twelve years of the most profound
peace, he left his empire loaded with a vast addition to the old
incumbrance.
This prince, before he succeeded to the empire of Japan, was
king of Tedsu,l a dominion seated on the continent, to the west
side of Japan.  Tedsu was the place of his birth, and more
beloved by him than his new empire; for there he spent some
months almost every year, and thither was supposed to have conveyed great sums of money, saved out of his imperial revenues.
There were two maritime towns of great importance bordering upon Tedsu: of these he purchased a litigated title; and
to support it, was forced not only to entrench deeply on his
Japanese revenues, but to engage in alliances very dangerous to
the Japanese empire.
Japan was at that time a limited monarchy, which, some
authors are of opinion, was introduced there by a detachment
from the numerous army of Brennus, who ravaged a great part
of Asia; and those of them who fixed in Japan, left behind them
that kind of military institution, which the northern people in
1 Hanover. Anagram of Deuts for Deutsch, German.




EMPIRE OF JAPAN.


347


ensuing ages carried through most parts of Europe; the generals
becoming kings, the great officers a senate of nobles, with a
representative from every centenary of private soldiers; and in
the assent of the majority in these two bodies, confirmed by the
general, the legislature consisted.
I need not farther explain a matter so universally known; but
return to my subject.
The Husige faction, by a gross piece of negligence in the
Yortes, had so far insinuated themselves and their opinions into
the favour of Regoge, before he came to the empire, that this
prince firmly believed them to be his only true friends, and the
others his mortal enemies. By this opinion he governed all the
actions of his reign.
The emperor died suddenly, in his journey to Tedsu; where,
according to his usual custom, he was going to pass the summer.
This prince, during his whole regin, continued an absolute
stranger to the language, the manners, the laws, and the religion
of Japan; and passing his whole time among old mistresses, or
a few privadoes, left the whole management of the empire in the
hands of a minister, upon the condition of being made easy in
his personal revenues, and the management of parties in the
senate. His last minister,1 who governed in the most arbitrary
manner for several years, he was thought to hate more than he
did any other person in Japan, except his only son, the heir to
the empire. The dislike he bore to the former was, because the
minister, under pretence that he could not govern the senate
without disposing of employments among them, would not suffer
his master to oblige one single person, but disposed of all to his
own relations and dependents. But, as to that continued and virulent hatred he bore to the prince his son, from the beginning of his
reign to his death, the historian has not accounted for it, farther
than by various conjectures, which do not deserve to be related.
'lhe minister above mentioned was of a family not contemptible,
had been early a senator, and from his youth a mortal enemy to the
Yortes. He had been formerly disgraced in the senate, for some
1 Sir Robert Walpole.




348       AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND
frauds in the management of a publick trust. He was perfectly
skilled, by long practice in the senatorial forms; and dextrous in
the purchasing of votes, from those who could find their accounts
better in complying with his measures, than they could probably
lose by any tax that might be charged on the kingdom. He
seemed to fail, in point of policy, by not concealing his gettings;
never scrupling openly to lay out vast sums of money in paintings,
buildings, and purchasing estates; when it was known that upon
his first coming into business, upon the death of the empress
Nena, his fortune was but inconsiderable. He had the most
boldness, and the least magnanimity that ever any mortal was
endowed with. By enriching his relations, friends, and dependents, in a most exorbitant manner, he was weak enough to imagine
that he had provided a support against an evil day. He had the
best among all false appearances of courage; which was, a most
unlimited assurance, whereby he would swagger the boldest man
into a dread of his power; but had not the smallest portion of
magnanimity, growing jealous, and disgracing every man, who was
known to bear the least civility to those he disliked. He had
some small smattering in books, but no manner of politeness:
nor, in his whole life, was ever known to advance any one person,.
upon the score of wit, learning, or abilities for business. The
whole system of his ministry was corruption; and he never gave
bribe or pension, without frankly telling the receivers what he
expected from them, and threatening them to put an end to his
bounty, if they failed to comply in every circumstance.
A few months before the emperor's death, there was a design
concerted between some eminent persons of both parties, whom
the desperate state of the empire had united, to accuse the minister
at the first meeting of a new-chosen senate, which was then to
assemble according to the laws of that empire.  And it was
believed, that the vast expense he must be at, in choosing an
assembly proper for his purpose, added to the low state of the
treasury, the increasing number of pensioners, the great discontent
of the people, and the personal hatred of the emperor, would, if
well laid open in the senate, be of weight enough to sink the




EMPIRE OF yAPAN.


349


minister, when it should appear to his very pensioners and creatures, that he could not supply them much longer.
While this scheme was in agitation, an account came of the
emperor's death; and the prince his son,' with universal joy,
mounted the throne of Japan.
The new emperor had always lived a private life, during the
reign of his father: who, in his annual absence, never trusted him
more than once with the reins of government, which he held so
evenly, that he became too popular to be confided in any more.
-He was thought not unfavourable to the Yortes, at least not altogether to approve the virulence wherewith his father proceeded
against them; and therefore, immediately upon his succession,
the principal persons of that denomination came, in several bodies,
to kiss the hem of his garment; whom he received with great
courtesy, and some of them with particular marks of distinction.
The prince, during the reign of his father, having not been
trusted with any publick charge, employed his leisure in learning
the language, the religion, the customs, and disposition, of the
Japanese; wherein he received great information, among others,
from Nomtoc,2 master of his finances, and president of the senate,
who secretly hated Lelop-Aw,3 the minister; and likewise from
Ramneh,4 a most eminent senator, who, despairing to do any
good with the father, had, with great industry, skill, and decency,
used his endeavours to instil good principles into the young prince.
Upon the news of the former emperor's death, a grand council
was summoned of course, where little passed beside directing the
ceremony of proclaiming the successor.  But, in some days after,
the new emperor, having consulted with those persons in wiom
he could chiefly confide, and maturely considered in his own mind
the present state of his affairs, as well as the disposition of his
people, convoked another assembly of his council; wherein, after
some time spent in general business, suitable to the present
1 King George II.
2 Sir Spencer Compton, Speaker of the House of Commons. Anagram from
Comton.
3 Sir Robert Walpole. Anagram of Walpole.
4 Sir Thomas Hanmer, Anagram of Hanmer,




350       AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND
emergency, he directed Lelop-Aw to give him, in as short terms
as he conveniently could, an account of the nation's debts, of his
management in the senate, and his negotiations with foreign
courts: which that minister having delivered, according to his
usual manner, with much assurance and little satisfaction, the
emperor desired to be fully satisfied in the following particulars:
Whether the vast expense of choosing such members into the
senate as would be content to do the publick business, were
absolutely necessary?
Whether those members, thus chosen in, would cross and impede the necessary course of affairs, unless they were supplied
with great sums of money and continued pensions?
Whether the same corruption and perverseness were to be expected from the nobles?
Whether the empire of Japan were in so low a condition, that
the imperial envoys at foreign courts must be forced to purchase
alliances, or prevent a war, by immense bribes given to the
ministers of all the neighbouring princes?
Why the debts of the empire were so prodigiously advanced, in
a peace of twelve years at home and abroad?
Whether the Yortes were universally enemies to the religion
and laws of the empire, and to the imperial family now reigning?
Whether those persons, whose revenues consist in lands, do
not give surer pledges of fidelity to the publick, and are more
interested in the welfare of the empire, than others whose fortunes
consist only in money?
And because Lelop-Aw, for several years past, had engrossed
the whole administration, the emperor signified, that from him
alone he expected an answer.
This minister, who had sagacity enough to cultivate an interest
in the young prince's family, during the emperor's life, received
early intelligence from one of his emissaries of what was intended
at the council, and had sufficient time to frame as plausible an
answer as his cause and conduct would allow. However, having
desired a few minutes to put his thoughts in order, he delivered
them in the following manner:




EMPIRE OF JA PAN.


35r


"Sir, Upon this short unexpected warning, to answer your
imperial majesty's queries, I should be wholly at a loss, in your
majesty's august presence, and that of this most noble assembly,
if I were armed with a weaker defence than my own loyalty and
integrity, and the prosperous success of my endeavours.
"It is well known, that the death of the empress Nena, happened in a most miraculous juncture; and that if she had lived
two months longer, your illustrious family would have been deprived of your right; and we should have seen an usurper upon
your throne, who would have wholly changed the constitution of
this empire, both civil and sacred; and, although that empress
died in a most opportune season, yet the peaceable entrance of
your majesty's father, was effected by a continual series of miracles.
The truth of this appears, by that unnatural rebellion which the
Yortes raised, without the least provocation, in the first year of
the late emperor's reign; which may be sufficient to convince
your majesty, that every soul of that denomination, was, is, and
will be for ever, a favourer of the pretender, a mortal enemy to
your illustrious family, and an introducer of new gods into the
empire. Upon this foundation was built the whole conduct of
our affairs: and since a great majority of the kingdom, was at
that time reckoned to favour the Yortes faction, who, in the
regular course of elections, must certainly have been chosen
members of the senate then to be convoked; it was necessary by
the force of money, to influence elections in such a manner, that
your majesty's father might have a sufficient number, to weigh
down the scale on his side, and thereby carry on those measures,
which could only secure him and his family in the possession of
the empire. To support this original plan, I came into the service; but, the members of the senate knowing themselves every
day more necessary, upon the choosing of a new senate, I found
the charges to increase; and that after they were chosen, they
insisted upon an increase of their pensions; because they well
knew, that the work could not be carried on without them: and
I was more general in my donatives, because I thought it was
more for the honour of the crown, that every vote should pass




352        AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND
without a division; and that when a debate was proposed, it
should immediately be quashed by putting the question.
"Sir, The date of the present senate is expired, and your
imperial majesty is now to convoke a new one; which, I confess,
will be somewhat more expensive than the last, because the Yortes,
-from your favourable reception, have begun to reassume a spirit,
whereof the country had some intelligence; and we know, the
majority of the people, without proper management, would be still
in that fatal interest. However, I dare undertake, with the charge
only of four hundred thousand sprangs,1 to return as great a
majority of senators of the true stamp, as your majesty can desire.
As to the sums of money paid in foreign courts, I hope, in some
years, to ease the nation of them, when we and our neighbours
come to a good understanding. However, I will be bold to say,
they are cheaper than a war, where your majesty is to be a
principal.
"The pensions indeed to senators and other persons, must
needs increase, from the restiveness of some, and scrupulous
nature of others; and the new members, who are unpractised,
must have better encouragement.  However, I dare undertake to
bring the eventual charge within eight hundred thousand sprangs.
But, to make this easy, there shall be new funds raised, of which
I have several schemes ready, without taxing bread or flesh, which
shall be reserved to more pressing occasions.
"Your majesty knows, it is the laudable custom of all eastern
princes, to leave the whole management of affairs, both civil and
military, to their visirs.
"The appointments for your family and private purse, shall
exceed those of your predecessors: you shall be at no trouble,
farther than to appear sometimes in council, and leave the rest
to me: you shall hear no clamour or complaints: your senate
shall, upon occasion, declare you the best of princes, the father
of your country, the arbiter of Asia, the defender of the oppressed,
and the delight of mankind.
"Sir, Hear not those who would, most falsely, impiously, and
1 About a million sterling.




EMPIRE OF JAPAN.


353


maliciously, insinuate that your government can be carried on
without that wholesome necessary expedient of' sharing the
publick revenue with your faithful deserving senators. This, I
know, my enemies are pleased to call bribery and corruption.
Be it so: but I insist, that without this bribery and corruption,
the wheels of government will not turn; or at least will be apt to
take fire, like other wheels, unless they be greased at proper times.
If an angel from heaven should descend, to govern this empire,
upon any other scheme than what our enemies call corruption,
he must return from whence he came, and leave the work
undone.
"Sir, It is well known we are a trading nation, and consequently cannot thrive in a bargain, where nothing is to be gained.
The poor electors, who run from their shops or the plough, for
the service of their country; are they not to be considered for
their labour and their loyalty?  The candidates, who, with the
hazard of their persons, the loss of their characters, and the ruin
of their fortunes, are preferred to the senate, in a country where
they are strangers, before the very lords of the soil; are they
not to be rewarded for their zeal to your majesty's service, and
qualified to live in your metropolis as becomes the lustre of their
stations?
"Sir, If I have given great numbers of the most profitable
employments among my own relations and nearest allies, it was
not out of any partiality; but because I know them best, and can
best depend upon them. I have been at the pains to mould and
cultivate their opinions. Abler heads might probably have been
found; but they would not be equally under my direction. A
huntsman who has the absolute command of his dogs, will hunt
more effectually than with a better pack to whose manner and
cry he is a stranger.
" Sir, Upon the whole, I will appeal to all those who best knew
your royal father, whether that blessed monarch had ever one
anxious thought for the publick, or disappointment, or uneasiness,
or want of money for all his occasions, during the time of my
administration? And how happy the people confessed themz




354      THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN.
selves to be, under such a king, I leave to their own numerous
addresses; which all politicians will allow to be the most infallible
proof, how any nation stands affected to their sovereign."
Lelop-Aw, having ended his speech, and struck his forehead
thrice against the table, as the custom is in Japan, sat down with
great complacency of mind, and much applause of his adherents,
as might be observed by their countenances and their whispers.
But the emperor's behaviour was remarkable; for, during the
whole harangue, he appeared equally attentive and uneasy. After
a short pause, his majesty commanded that some other counsellor
should deliver his thoughts, either to confirm or object against
what had been spoken by Lelop-Aw.




AN ESSAY


ON THE
FATES OF CLERGYMEN.
T  HERE is no talent so useful toward rising in the world, or
which puts men more out of the reach of fortune, than that
quality generally possessed by the dullest sort of men, and in
common speech called discretion; a species of lower prudence,
by the assistance of which, people of the meanest intellectuals,
without any other qualification, pass through the world in great
tranquillity, and with universal good treatment, neither giving nor
taking offence. Courts are seldom unprovided of persons under
this character, on whom, if they happen to be of great quality,
most employments, even the greatest, naturally fall, when competitors will not agree; and in such promotions nobody rejoices
or grieves. The truth of this I could prove by several instances
within my own memory; for I say nothing of present times.
And indeed, as regularity and forms are of great use in carrying
on the business of the world, so it is very convenient that persons
endued with this kind of discretion should have that share which
is proper to their talents in the conduct of affairs, but by no
means meddle in matters which require genius, learning, strong
comprehension, quickness of conception, magnanimity, generosity,
sagacity, or any other superiour gift of human minds. Because
this sort of discretion is usually attended with a strong desire of
money, and few scruples about the way of obtaining it; with
servile flattery and submission; with a want of all publick spirit


I




356


AN ESSAY ON THE


or principle; with a perpetual wrono judgment, when the owners
come into power and high place, how to dispose of favour and
preferment; having no measures for merit and virtue in others
but those very steps by which themselves ascended; nor the least
intention of doing good or hurt to the publick, farther than either
one or t'other is likely to be subservient to their own security
or interest. Thus being void of all friendship and enmity, they
never complain or find fault with the times, and indeed never
have reason to do so.
Men of eminent parts and abilities, as well as virtues, do sometimes rise in the court, sometimes in the law, and sometimes even
in the church. Such were the lord Bacon, the earl of Strafford,
archbishop Laud in the reign of king Charles I. and others in our
own times, whom I shall not name; but these, and many more,
under different princes, and in different kingdoms, were disgraced,
or banished, or suffered death, merely in envy to their virtues
and superiour genius, which emboldened them in great exigencies and distresses of state (wanting a reasonable infusion of this
aldermanly discretion) to attempt the service of their prince and
country, out of the common forms.
This evil fortune, which generally attends extraordinary men
in the management of great affairs, has been imputed to divers
causes, that need not be here set down, when so obvious a one
occurs, if what a certain writer observes be true, that when a
great genius appears in the world the dunces are all in confederacy against him. And if this be his fate when he employs
his talents wholly in his closet, without interfering with any man's
ambition or avarice, what must he expect, when he ventures out
to seek for preferment in a court, but universal opposition when
he is mounting the ladder, and every hand ready to turn him off
when he is at the top? and in this point, fortune generally acts
directly contrary to nature; for, in nature we find, that bodies
full of life and spirits mount easily, and are hard to fall, whereas
heavy bodies are hard to rise, and come down with greater
velocity in proportion to their weight; but we find fortune every
day acting just the reverse of this.


I




FATES OF CLERGYMEN.


357


This talent of discretion, as I have described it in its several
adjuncts and circumstances, is no where so serviceable as to the
clergy, to whose preferment nothing is so fatal as the character of
wit, politeness in reading or manners, or that kind of behaviour
which we contract by having too much conversation with persons
of high station and eminency; these qualifications being reckoned
by the vulgar of all ranks, to be marks of levity, which is the last
crime the world will pardon in a clergyman: to this I may add a
free manner of speaking in mixt company, and too frequent an
appearance in places of much resort, which are equally noxious
to spiritual promotion.
I have known indeed a few exceptions to some parts of these
observations. I have seen some of the dullest men alive aiming
at wit, and others, with as little pretensions, affecting politeness in
manners and discourse; but never being able to persuade the
world of their guilt, they grew into considerable stations, upon
the firm assurance which all people had of their discretion, because they were of a size too low to deceive the world to their
own disadvantage. But this I confess is a trial too dangerous
often to engage in.
There is a known story of a clergyman, who was recommended
for a preferment by some great men at court to an archbishop.'
His grace said, ' he had heard that the clergyman used to play
at whist and swobbers; that as to playing now and then a sober
game at whist for pastime, it might be pardoned, but he could
not digest those wicked swobbers;" and it was with some pains
that my lord Somers could undeceive him.  I ask, by what
talents we may suppose that great prelate ascended so high, or
what sort of qualifications he would expect in those whom he took
into his patronage, or would probably recommend to court for
the government of distant churches?
Two clergymen, in my memory, stood candidates for a small
free school in Yorkshire, where a gentleman of quality and interest
in the country, who happened to have a better understanding
than his neighbours, procured the place for him who was the
Archbishop Tenison.




358


AN ESSAY ON THE


better scholar and more gentlemanly person of the two, very
much to the regret of all the parish: the other being disappointed, came up to London, where he became the greatest
pattern of this lower discretion that I have known, and possessed
it with as heavy intellectuals; which, together with the coldness of his temper and gravity of his deportment, carried him
safe through many difficulties, and he lived and died in a great
station; while his competitor is too obscure for fame to tell us
what became of him.
This species of discretion, which I so much celebrate, and do
most heartily recommend, has one advantage not yet mentioned:
-it will carry a man safe through all the malice and variety of
parties, so far, that whatever faction happens to be uppermost,
his claim is usually allowed for a share of what is going. And
the thing seems to me highly reasonable: for in all great changes,
the prevailing side is usually so tempestuous, that it wants the
ballast of those whom the world calls moderate men, and I call
men of discretion; whom people in power may, with little ceremony, load as heavy as they please, drive them through the
hardest and deepest roads without danger of foundering, or breaking their backs, and will be sure to find them neither resty nor
vicious.
I will here give the reader a short history of two clergymen in
England, the characters of each, and the progress of their fortunes
in the world; by which the force of worldly discretion, and the
bad consequences from the want of that virtue, will strongly
appear.
Corusodes, an Oxford student, and a farmer's son, was never
absent from prayers or lecture, nor once out of his college after
Tom had tolled.  He spent every day ten hours in his closet, in
reading his courses, dozing, clipping papers, or darning his stockings; which last he performed to admiration.  He could be
soberly drunk at the expense of others, with college ale, and at
those seasons was always most devout  He wore the same gown
five years without draggling or tearing. He never once looked
into a playbook or a poem. He read Virgil and Ramus in the




FATES OF CLERGYMEN.


359


same cadence, but with a very different taste. He never understood a jest, or had the least conception of wit.
For one saying he stands in renown to this day. Being with
some other students over a pot of ale, one of the company said
so many pleasant things, that the rest were much diverted, only
Corusodes was silent and unmoved. When they parted3 he called
his merry companion aside, and said, "Sir, I perceive by your
often speaking, and our friends laughing, that you spoke many
jests; and you could not but observe my silence: but, sir, this
is my humour: I never make a jest myself, nor ever laugh at
another man's."
Corusodes thus endowed got into holy orders; having, by the
most extreme parsimony, saved thirty-four pounds out of a very
beggarly fellowship, he went up to London, where his sister was
waitingwoman to a lady, and so good a solicitor, that by her
means he was admitted to read prayers in the family twice a day,
at ten shillings a month. He had now acquired a low, obsequious,
awkward bow, and a talent of gross flattery both in and out of
season; he would shake the butler by the hand; he taught the
page his catechism, and was sometimes admitted to dine at the
steward's table. In short, he got the good word of the whole
family, and was recommended by my lady for chaplain to some
other noble houses, by which his revenue (besides vales) amounted
to about thirty pounds a year: his sister procured him a scarf
from my lord, who had a small design of gallantry upon her; and
by his lordship's solicitation he got a lectureship in town of sixty
pounds a year; where he preached constantly in person, in a
grave manner, with an audible voice, a style ecclesiastick, and
the matter (such as it was) well suited to the intellectuals of his
hearers. Some time after, a country living fell in my lord's disposal; and his lordship, who had now some encouragement given
him of success in his amour, bestowed the living on Corusodes,
who still kept his lectureship and residence in town; where he
was a constant attendant at all meetings relating to charity, without
ever contributing farther than his frequent pious exhortations. If
any woman of better fashion in the parish happened to be absent




360


AN ESSAY ON THE


from church, they were sure of a visit from him in a day or two,
to chide and to dine with them.
He had a select number of poor constantly attending at the
street door of his lodging, for whom he was a common solicitor
to his former patroness, dropping in his own half-crown among
the collections, and taking it out when he disposed of the money.
At a person of quality's house, he would never sit down, till he
was thrice bid, and then upon the corner of the most distant
chair.  His whole demeanour was formal and starch, which
adhered so close, that he could never shake it off in his highest
promotion.
His lord was now in high employment at court, and attended
by him with the most abject assiduity; and his sister being gone
off with child to a private lodging, my lord continued his graces
to Corusodes, got him to be a chaplain in ordinary, and in due
time a parish in town, and a dignity in the church.
He paid his curates punctually, at the lowest salary, and partly
out of the communion money; but gave them good advice in
abundance. He married a citizen's widow, who taught him to
put out small sums at ten per cent. and brought him acquainted
with jobbers in Change-alley. By her dexterity he sold the clerkship of his parish, when it became vacant.
He kept a miserable house, but the whole blame was laid
wholly upon madam; for the good doctor was always at his
books, or visiting the sick, or doing other offices of charity and
piety in his parish.
He treated all his inferiors of the clergy with a most sanctified
pride; was rigorously and universally censotious upon all his
brethren of the gown, on their first appearance in the world, or
while they continued meanly preferred; but gave large allowance
to the laity of high rank, or great riches, using neither eyes nor
ears for their faults: he was never sensible of the least corruption
in courts, parliaments, or ministries, but made the most favourable
constructions of all publick proceedings; and power, in whatever
hands or whatever party, was always secure of his most charitable
opinion. He had many wholesome maxims ready to excuse all




FATES OF CLERGYMEN.


36 r


miscarriages of state: men are but men; eriint villa donec hlomines;
quod szqpra nos, nil ad nos; with several others of equal weight.
It would lengthen my paper beyond measure to trace out the
whole system of his conduct; his dreadful apprehensions of
popery; his great moderation toward dissenters of all denominations; with hearty wishes, that by yielding somewhat on both
sides, there might be a general union among Protestants; his
short, inoffensive sermons in his turns at court, and the matter
exactly suited to the present juncture of prevailing opinions; the
arts he used to obtain a mitre, by writing against Episcopacy; and
the proofs he gave of his loyalty, by palliating or defending the
murder of a martyred prince.
Endowed with all these accomplishments, we leave him in the
full career of success, mounting fast toward the top of the ladder
ecclesiastical, which he has a fair probability to reach; without
the merit of one single virtue, moderately stocked with the least
valuable parts of erudition, utterly devoid of all taste, judgment,
or genius; and in his grandeur, naturally choosing to haul up
others after him whose accomplishments most resemble his own,
except his beloved sons, nephews, or other kindred, be in comnpetition; or lastly, except his inclinations be diverted by those
who have power to mortify or farther advance him.
Eugenio set out from the same university, and about the same
time with Corusodes; he had the reputation of an arch lad at
school, and was unfortunately possessed with a talent for poetry;
on which account he received many chiding letters from  his
father, and grave advice from his tutor. He did not neglect his
college learning, but his chief study was the authors of antiquity,
with a perfect knowledge in the Greek and Roman tongues. He
could never procure himself to be chosen fellow: for it was objected against him, that he had written verses, and particularly
some, wherein he glanced at a certain reverend doctor famous for
dulness; that he had been seen bowing to ladies, as he met them
in the street; and it was proved, that once he had been found
dancing in a private family, with half a dozen of both sexes.
He was the younger son to a gentleman of good birth, but




362   AN ESSAY ON THE FATES OF CLERGYMEN.
small estate; and his father dying, he was driven to London to
seek his fortune; he got into orders, and became reader in a
parish church at twenty pounds a year, was carried by an Oxford
friend to Wiil's coffeehouse, frequented in those days by men of
wit, wherein some time he had the bad luck to be distinguished.
His scanty salary compelled him to run deep in debt for a new
gown and cassock, and now and then forced him to write some
paper of wit or humour, or preach a sermon for ten shillings, to
supply his necessities. He was a thousand times recommended
by his poetical friends to great persons, as a young man of
excellent parts, who deserved encouragement, and received a
thousand promises; but his modesty, and a generous spirit which
disdained the slavery of continual application and attendance,
always disappointed him, making room for vigilant dunces who
were sure to be never out of sight.
He had an excellent faculty in preaching, if he were not sometimes a little too refined, and apt to trust too much to his own
way of thinking and reasoning.
When, upon the vacancy of preferment, he was hardly drawn to
attend upon some promising lord, he received the usual answer,
" That he came too late, for it had been given to another the very
day before." And he had only this comfort left, that every body
said, "it was a thousand pities something could not be done for
poor Mr. Eugenio."
The remainder of his story will be dispatched in a few words:
wearied with weak hopes, and weaker pursuits, he accepted a
curacy in Derbyshire of thirty pounds a year, and when he was
five and forty, had the great felicity to be preferred by a friend of
his father's to a vicarage worth annually sixty pounds, in the most
desert parts of Lincolnshire; where, his spirit quite sunk with
those reflections that solitude and disappointments bring, he
married a farmer's widow, and is still alive utterly undistinguished
and forgotten; only some of the neighbours have accidentally
heard, that he had been a notable man in his youth.




AN ESSAY


ON
MODERN EDUCATION.
1-HFROM frequently reflecting upon the course and method of
educating youth, in this and a neighbouring kingdom, with
the general success and consequence thereof, I am come to this
determination; that education is always the worse, in proportion
to the wealth and grandeur of the parents; nor do I doubt in the
least, that if the whole world were now under the dominion of one
monarch (pr,-ided I might be allowed to choose where he should
fix the seat of his empire) the only son and heir of that monarch
would be the worst educated mortal that ever was born since the
creation; and I doubt the same proportion will hold through all
degrees and titles, from an emperor downward to the common
gentry.
I do not say, that this has been always the case; for in better
times it was directly otherwise, and a scholar may fill half his
Greek and Roman shelves with authors of the noblest birth, as
well as highest virtue: nor do I tax all nations at present with
this defect, for I know there are some to be excepted, and particularly Scotland, under all the disadvantages of its climate and
soil, if that happiness be not rather owing even to those very disadvantages. What is then to be done, if this reflection must fix
on two countries, which will be most ready to take offence, and
which, of all others, it will be least prudent or safe to offend?
But there is one circumstance yet more dangerous and lamen



364      AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.
table: for if, according to the pos/ulatumn already laid down, the
higher quality any youth is of, he is in greater likelihood to be
worse educated; it behoves me to dread, and keep far from the
verge of scandalurm mag/iatrtn.
Retracting therefore that hazardous poslulatum, I shall venture
no farther at present than to say, that perhaps some additional
care in educating the sons of nobility and principal gentry, might
not be ill employed. If this be not delivered with softness enough,
I must for the future be silent.
In the mean time, let me ask only two questions, which relate
to England. I ask first, how it comes about, that for above sixty
years past the chief conduct of affairs has been generally placed
in the hands of new men, with very few exceptions? The noblest
blood of England having been shed in the grand rebellion, many
great families became extinct, or were supported only by minors:
when the king was restored, very few of those lords remained
who began, or at least had improved, their education under the
reigns of king James, or king Charles I., of which lords the two
principal were the marquis of Ormond, and the earl of Southampton. The minors had, during the rebellion and usurpation, either
received too much tincture of bad principles from those fanatick
times, or coming to age at the restoration, fell into the vices of
that dissolute reign.
I date from this era the corrupt method of education among us,
i -    and, in consequence thereof, the necessity the crown lay under of
introducing new men into the chief conduct of publick affairs, or
to the office of what we now call prime ministers; men of art,
knowledge, application, and insinuation, merely for want of a
supply among the nobility. They were generally (though not
always) of good birth; sometimes younger brothers, at other
times such, who although inheriting good estates, yet happened
to be well educated, and provided with learning. Such, under
that king, were Hyde, Bridgman, Clifford, Dsborn, Godolphin,
Ashley, Cooper: few or none under the short reign of king
James II.: under king William, Somers, Montague, Churchill,
Vernon, Boyle, and many others: under the queen, Harley, St.




AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.       3


36;


John, Harcourt, Trevor: who indeed were persons of the best
private families, but unadorned with titles. So in the following
reign, Mr. Robert Walpole was for many years prime minister,
in which post he still happily continues: his brother Horace
is ambassador extraordinary to France. Mr. Addison and Mr.
Craggs, without the least alliance to support them, have been
secretaries of state.
If the facts have been thus for above sixty years past, (whereof
I could with a little farther recollection produce many more
instances) I would ask again, how it has happened, that in a
nation plentifully abounding with nobility, so great share in the
most competent parts of publick management has been for so
long a period chiefly entrusted to commoners; unless some
omissions or defects of the highest import may be charged
upon those to whom the care of educating our noble youth had
been committed? ' For, if there be any difference between human
creatures in the point of natural parts, as we usually call them, it
should seem, that the advantage lies on the side of children born
from noble and wealthy parents; the same traditional sloth and
luxury, which render their body weak and effeminate, perhaps
refining and giving a freer motion to the spirits, beyond what can
be expected from the gross, robust issue of meaner mortals. Add
to this the peculiar advantages which all young noblemen possess
by the privileges of their birth. Such as a free access to courts,
and a universal deference paid to their persons.
But as my lord Bacon charges it for a fault on princes, that
they are impatient to compass ends, without giving themselves
the trouble of consulting or executing the means; so perhaps it
may be the disposition of young nobles, either from the indulgence of parents, tutors, and governors, or their own inactivity,
that they expect the accomplishments of a good education, without the least expense of time or study to acquire them.
What I said last, I am ready to retract, for the case is infinitely
worse and the very maxims set up to direct modern education
are enough to destroy all the seeds of knowledge, honour, wisdom,
and virtue among us. >The current opinion prevails, that the




366      AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.
study of Greek and Latin is loss of time; that publick schools, by
mingling the sons of noblemen with those of the vulgar; engage
the former in bad company; that whipping breaks the spirits of
lads well born; that universities make young men pedants;(that
to dance, fence, speak French, and know how to behave yourself
among great persons of both sexes, comprehends the whole duty
of a gentleman. '
I cannot but think, this wise system of education has been much
cultivated among us by those worthies of the army who during
the last war returned from Flanders at the close of each campaign,
became the dictators of behaviour, dress, and politeness to all
those youngsters who frequent chocolate coffee-gaminghouses,
drawing-rooms, operas, levees, and assemblies: where a colonel,
by his pay, perquisites, and plunder, was qualified to outshine
many peers of the realm; and by the influence of an exotick
habit and demeanour, added to other foreign accomplishments,
gave the law to the whole town, and was copied as the standard
pattern of whatever was refined in dress, equipage, conversation,
or diversions.
I remember, in those times, an admired original of that vocation,
sitting in a coffeehouse near two gentlemen, whereof one was of
the clergy, who were engaged in some discourse that savoured of
learning. This officer thought fit to interpose, and professing to
deliver the sentiments of his fraternity, as well as his own, (and
probably he did so of too many among them) turned to the clergyman, and spoke in the following manner, " D-n me, doctor, say
what you will, the army is the only school for gentlemen. Do
you think my lord Marlborough beat the French with Greek and
Latin?  D-n me, a scholar when he comes into good company,
what is he but an ass? D-n me, I would be glad by G-d to
see any of your scholars with his nouns and his verbs, and his
philosophy, and trigonometry, what a figure he would make at a
siege, or blockade, or rencountering-  D-n me," &c. After
which he proceeded with a volley of military terms, less significant,
sounding worse, and harder to be understood, than any that were
ever coined by the commentators upon Aristotle. I would not




AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.


367


here be thought to charge the soldiery with ignorance and contempt of learning, without allowing exceptions, of which I have
known many; but however the worst example, especially in a
great majority, will certainly prevail.
I have heard, that the late earl of Oxford, in the time of his
ministry, never passed by White's chocolatehouse (the common
rendezvous of infamous sharpers and noble cullies) without bestowing a curse upon that famous academy, as the bane of half
the English nobility. I have likewise been told another passage
concerning that great minister, which, because it gave a humorous
idea of one principal ingredient in modern education, take as
follows. Le Sack, the famous French dancing master, in great
admiration, asked a friend, whether it were true, that MAr. Harley
was made an earl and lord treasurer? and finding it confirmed
said, "WVell; I wonder what the devil the queen could see in
him; for I attended him two years, and he was the greatest dunce
that ever I taught."
Another hindrance to good education, and I think the greatest
of any, is that pernicious custom in rich and noble families.
of entertaining French tutors in their houses. These wretched
pedagogues are enjoined by the father, to take special care that
the boy shall be perfect in his French; by the mother, that master
must not walk till he is hot, nor be suffered to play with other
boys, nor be wet in his feet, nor daub his clothes, and to see the
dancing master attends constantly, and does his duty; she farther
insists, that the child be not kept too long poring on his book,
because he is subject to sore eyes, and of a weakly constitution.
By these methods, the young gentleman is, in every article, as
fully accomplished at eight years old, as at eight and twenty, age
adding(only to the growth of his person and his vice; so that if you
should look at him in his boyhood through the magnifying end
of a perspective, and in his manhood through the other, it would
be impossible to spy any difference; the same airs, the same
strut, the same cock of his hat, and posture of his sword, (as far
as the change of fashions will allow) the same understanding, the




363      AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.
same compass of knowledge, with the very same absurdity, impudence, and impertinence of tongue.
He is taught from the nursery, that he must inherit a great
estate, and has no need to mind his book, which is a lesson he
never forgets to the end of his life. His chief solace is to steal
down and play at spanfarthing with the page, or young blackamoor, or little favourite footboy, one of which is his principal
confident and bosom friend.
There is one young lord 1 in this town, who, by an unexampled
piece of good fortune, was miraculously snatched out of the gulf
of ignorance, confined to a publick school for a due term of
years, well whipped when he deserved it, clad no better than his
comrades, and always their playfellow on the same foot, had no
precedence in the school but what was given him by his merit,
and lost it whenever he was negligent. It is well known, how
many mutinies were bred at this unprecedented treatment, what
complaints among his relations, and other great ones of both
sexes; that his stockings with silver clocks were ravished from
him; that he wore his own hair; that his dress was undistinguished; that he was not fit to appear at a ball or assembly,
nor suffered to go to either: and it was with the utmost difficulty
that he became qualified for his present removal, where he may
probably be farther persecuted, and possibly with success, if the
firmness of a very worthy governor and his own good dispositions
will not preserve him.  I confess, I cannot but wish he may
go on in the way he began; because I have a curiosity to know
by so singular an experiment, whether truth, honour, justice, temperance, courage, and good sense, acquired by a school and
college education, may not produce a very tolerable lad, although
he should happen to fail in one or two of those accomplishments,
which, in the general vogue, are held so important to the finishing of a gentleman.
It is true, I have known an academical education to have been
exploded in publick assemblies; and have heard more than one
1 Lord Mountcashel, bred at Dr. Sheridan's school. Dr. Sheridan dedicated to
him, in December I728, his Translation of Persius.




AN ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.


369


or two persons of high rank declare, they could learn nothing
more at Oxford and Cambridge, than to drink ale and smoke
tobacco; wherein I firmly believed them, and could have added
some hundred examples from my own observation in one of those
universities; but they all were of young heirs sent thither only
for form; either from schools, where they were not suffered by
their careful parents to stay above three months in the year; or
from under the management of French family tutors, who yet
often attended them to their college, to prevent all possibility of
their improvement: but I never yet knew any one person of
quality, who followed his studies at the university, and carried
away his just proportion of learning, that was not ready upon all
occasions to celebrate and defend that course of education, and
to prove a patron of learned men.
There is one circumstance in a learned education, which ought
to have much weight, even with those who have no learning at
all. The books read at school and college are full of incitements
to virtue, and discouragements from vice, drawn from the wisest
reasons, the strongest motives, and the most influencing examples.
Thus young minds are filled early with an inclination to good,
and an abhorrence of evil, both which increase in them, according
to the advances they make in literature; and although they may
be, and too often are, drawn by the temptations of youth, and
the opportunities of a large fortune, into some irregularities, when
they come forward into the great world, yet it is ever with reluctance and compunction of mind; because their bias to virtue still
continues. They may stray sometimes, out of infirmity or compliance; but they will soon return to the right road, and keep it
always in view. I speak only of those excesses, which are too
much the attendants of youth and warmer blood; for as to the
points of honour, truth, justice, and other noble gifts of the mind,
wherein the temperature of the body has no concern, they are
seldom or ever known to be wild.
I have engaged myself very unwarily in too copious a subject
for so short a paper. The present scope I would aim at, is, to
prove that some proportion of human knowledge appears requisite
2A




370       A N ESSAY ON MODERN EDUCATION.
to those, who by their birth or fortune are called to the making
of laws, and in a subordinate way to the execution of them; and
that such knowledge is not to be obtained, without a miracles
under the frequent, corrupt, and sottish methods of educating
those who are born to wealth or titles.  For I would have it
remembered, that I do by no means confine these remarks to
young persons of noble birth; the same errours running through
all families, where there is wealth enough to afford, that their sons
(at least the eldest) may be good for nothing. Why should my
son be a scholar, when it is not intended that he should live by
his learning? By this rule, if what is commonly- said- be true;
that "money answers all things," why should my son be honest,
temperate, just, or charitable, since he has no intention to depend
upon any of these qualities for a maintenance?
When all is done, perhaps, upon the whole, the matter is not
so bad as I would make it; and God, who works good out of
evil, acting only by the ordinary course and rule of nature, permits
this continual circulation of human things, for his own unsearchable ends. The father grows rich by avarice, injustice, oppression;
he is a tyrant in the neighbourhood over slaves and beggars, whom
he calls his tenants. W1;hy should he desire to have qualities
infused into his son, which himself never possessed, or knew, or
found the want of, in the acquisition of his wealth.? The son,
bred in sloth and idleness, becomes a spendthrift, a cully, a profligate, and goes out of the world a beggar, as his father came
in: thus the former is punished for his own sins, as well as for those
of the latter. The dunghill, having raised a huge mushroom of short
duration, is now spread to enrich other men's lands. It is indeed
of worse consequence, where noble families are gone to decay;
because their titles and privileges outlive their estates: and politicians tell us, that nothing is more dangerous to the publick, than a
numerous nobility without merit or fortune. But even here God
has likewise prescribed somneremedy in the order of nature; so many
great families coming to an end, by the sloth, luxury, and abandoned
lusts, which enervated their breed through every succession, producing gradually a more effeminate race wholly unfit for propagation.




HINTS TOWARD AN ESSAY


ON
CONVERSATION.
I  HAVE observed few obvious subjects to have been so
seldom, or at least so slightly handled as this; and indeed I
know few so difficult to be treated as it ought, nor yet upon
which there seems so much to be said.
Most things pursued by men for the happiness of publick or
private life, our wit or folly have so refined, that they seldom
subsist but in idea; a true friend, a good marriage, a perfect formof government, with some others, require so many ingredients, so
good in their several kinds, and so much niceness in mixing them,
that for some thousands of years men have despaired of reducing
their schemes to perfection: but, in conversation, it is, or might
be otherwise; for here we are only to avoid a multitude of errours,
which, although a matter of some difficulty, may be in every
man's power, for want of which it remains as mere an idea as the
other. Therefore it seems to me, that the truest way to understand conversation, is to know the faults and errours to which it
is subject, and from thence every man to form maxims to himself
whereby it may be regulated, because it requires few talents to
which most men are not born, or at least may not acquire, without
any great genius or study. For, nature has left every man a
capacity of being agreeable, though not of shining in company;
and there are a hundred men sufficiently qualified for both, who,




372


3HINTS TOWARD AN ESSAY


by a very few faults, that they might correct in half an hour, are
not so much as tolerable.
I was prompted to write my thoughts upon this subject by mere
indignation, to reflect that so useful and innocent a pleasure, so
fitted for every period and condition of life, and so much in all
men's power, should be so much neglected and abused.
And in this discourse it will be necessary to note those errours
that are obvious, as well as others which are seldomer observed,
since there are few so obvious, or acknowledged, into which most
men, some time or other, are not apt to run.
For instance: nothing is more generally exploded than the
folly of talking too much; yet I rarely remember to have seen
five people together, where some one among them has not been
predominant in that kind, to the great constraint and disgust of
all the rest. But among such as deal in multitudes of words,
none are comparable to the sober deliberate talker, who proceeds
with much thought and caution, makes his preface, branches out
into several digressions, finds a hint that puts him in mind of
another story, which he promises to tell you when this is done;
comes back regularly to his subject, cannot readily call to mind
some person's name, holding his head, complains of his memory;
the whole company all this while in suspense; at length says, it
is no matter, and so goes on. And, to crown the business, it
perhaps proves at last a story the company has heard fifty times
before; or, at best, some insipid adventure of the relater.
Another general fault in conversation, is that of those who
affect to talk of themselves: some, without any ceremony, will run
over the history of their lives; will relate the annals of their
diseases, with the several symptoms and circumstances of them;
will enumerate the hardships and injustice they have suffered
in court, in Parliament, in love, or in law.  Others are more
dextrous, and with great art will lie on the watch to hook in their
own praise: they will call a witness to remember, they always
foretold what would happen in such a case, but none would
believe them; they advised such a man from the beginning, and
told him the consequences, just as they happened; but he would




ON CON VERSA TION.


373


have his own way. Others make a vanity of telling their faults;
they are the strangest men in the world; they cannot dissemble;
they own it is a folly; they have lost abundance of advantages by
it; but if you would give them the world, they cannot help it;
there is something in their nature that abbhors insincerity and constraint; with many other insufferable topicks of the same altitude.
Of such mighty importance every man is to himself, and ready
to think he is so to others; without once making this easy and
obvious reflection, that his affairs can have no more weight with
other men, than theirs heave with him; and how little that is, he
is sensible enough.
Where company has met, I often have observed two persons
discover, by some accident, that they were bred together at the
same school or university; after which the rest are condemned
to silence, and to listen while these two are refreshing each other's
memory, with the arch tricks and passages of themselves and
their comrades.
I know a great officer of the army, who will sit for some time
with a supercilious and impatient silence, full of anger and contempt for those who are talking; at length of a sudden demand
audience, decide the matter in a short dogmatical way; then
withdraw within himself again, and vouchsafe to talk no more,
until his spirits circulate again to the same point.
There are some faults in conversation, which none are so
subject to as the men of wit, nor ever so much as when they
are with each other. If they have opened their mouths, without
endeavouring to say a witty thing, they think it is so many words
lost: it is a torment to the hearers, as much as to themselves, to
see them upon the rack for invention, and in perpetual constraint,
with so little success. They must do something extraordinary, in
order to acquit themselves, and answer their character, else the
standers-by may be disappointed, and be apt to think them only
like the rest of mortals. 1 have known two men of wit industriously brought together, in order to entertain the company, where
they have made a very ridiculous figure, and provided all the
mirth at their own expense.




374


HINTS TOWARD AN ESSAY


I know a man of wit, who is never easy but where he can be
allowed to dictate and preside: he neither expects to be informed
or entertained, but to display his own talents. His business is to
be good company, and not good conversation; and therefore he
chooses to frequent those who are content to listen, and profess
themselves his admirers. And indeed, the worst conversation I
ever remember to have heard in my life, was that at Wills' coffeehouse, where the wits (as they were called) used formerly to
assemble; that is to say, five or six men, who had writ plays, or
at least prologues, or had share in a miscellany, came thither, and
entertained one another with their trifling composures, in so important an air, as if they had been the noblest efforts of human
nature, or that the fate of kingdoms depended on them; and they
were usually attended with an humble audience of young students
from the inns of court, or the universities; who, at due distance,
listened to these oracles, and returned home with great contempt
for their law and philosophy, their heads filled with trash, under
the name of politeness, criticism, and belles lettres.
By these means, the poets, for many years past, were all overrun with pedantry. For, as I take it, the word is not properly
used; because pedantry is the too frequent or unseasonable
obtruding our own knowledge in common discourse, and placing
too great a value upon it; by which definition, men of the court,
or the army, may be as guilty of pedantry, as a philosopher or a
divine; and it is the same vice in women, when they are overcopious upon the subject of their petticoats, or their fans, or their
china. For which reason, although it be a piece of prudence, as
well as good manners, to put men upon talking on subjects they
are best versed in, yet that is a liberty a wise man could hardly
take; because, beside the imputation of pedantry, it is what he
would never improve by.
The great town is usually provided with some player, mimick,.or buffoon, who has a general reception at the good tables;
familiar and domestick with persons of the first quality, and
usually sent for at every meeting to divert the company; against
which I have no objection. You go there as to a farce or a




ON CON VERSATION.


375


puppetshow; your business is only to laugh in season, either out
of inclination or civility, while this merry companion is acting his
part. It is a business he has undertaken, and we are to suppose
he is paid for his day's work. I only quarrel, when in select and
private meetings, where men of wit and learning are invited to
pass an evening, this jester should be admitted to run over his
circle of tricks, and make the whole company unfit for any other
conversation, beside the indignity of confounding men's talents
at so shameful a rate.
Raillery is the finest part of conversation; but, as it is our
usual custom to counterfeit and adulterate whatever is too dear
for us, so we have done with this, and turned it all into what is
generally called repartee, or being smart; just as when an expensive fashion comes up, those who are not able to reach it content
themselves with some paltry imitation. It now passes for raillery
to run a man down in discourse, to put him out of countenance,
and make him ridiculous; sometimes to expose the defects of his
person or understanding; on all which occasions, he is obliged
not to be ai;gry, to avoid the imputation of not being able to take
a jest. It is admirable to observe one who is dextrous at this
art, singling out a weak adversary, getting the laugh on his side,
and then carrying all before him. The French, fiom whence we
borrow the word, have a quite different idea of the thing, and so
had we in the politer age of our fathers. Raillery, was to say
something that at first appeared a reproach or reflection, but, by
some turn of wit unexpected and surprising, ended always in a
compliment, and to the advantage of the person it was addressed
to. And surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to
say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish we
had rather left unsaid: nor can there any thing be well more contrary to the ends for which people meet together, than to part
unsatisfied with each other or themselves.
There are two faults in conversation which appear very different,
yet arise from the same root, and are equally blameable; I mean
an impatience to interrupt others; and the uneasiness of being
interrupted ourselves. The two chief ends of conversation are to




376


HINTS TOWARD AN ESSAY


entertain and improve those we are among, or to receive those
benefits ourselves; which whoever will consider, cannot easily run
into either of those two errours; because when any man speaks
in company, it is to be supposed he does it for his hearer's sake,
and not his own; so that common discretion will teach us not to
force their attention, if they are not willing to lend it; nor, on the
other side, to interrupt him who is in possession, because that is
in the grossest manner to give the preference to our own good
sense.
There are some people, whose good manners will not suffer
them to interrupt you; but what is almost as bad, will discover
abundance of impatience, and lie upon the watch until you have
done; because they have started something in their own thoughts,
which they long to be delivered of. Meantime, they are so far
from regarding what passes, that their imaginations are wholly
turned upon what they have in reserve, for fear it should slip out
of their memory; and thus they confine their invention, which
might otherwise range over a hundred things full as good, and
that might be much more naturally introduced.
There is a sort of rude familiarity, which some people, by
practising among their intimates, have introduced into their general
conversation, and would have it pass for innocent freedom or
humour; which is a dangerous experiment in our northern climate,
where all the little decorum and politeness we have are purely
forced by art, and are so ready to lapse into barbarity. This,
among the Romans, was the raillery of slaves, of which we have
many instances in Plautus. It seems to have been introduced
among us by Cromwell, who, by preferring the scum of the people,
made it a court-entertainment, of which I have heard many particulars; and considering all things were turned upside down, it was
reasonable and judicious: although it was a piece of policy found
out to ridicule a point of honour in the other extreme, when the
smallest word misplaced among gentlemen ended in a duel.
There are some men excellent at telling a story, and provided
with a plentiful stock of them, which they can draw out upon
occasion in all companies; and, considering how low conversa



ON CONVERSATION.


377


tion runs now among us, it is not altogether a contemptible
talent; however, it is subject to two unavoidable defects, frequent
repetition, and being soon exhausted; so that whoever values
this gift in himself, has need of a good memory, and ought
frequently to shift his company, that he may not discover the
weakness of his fund; for those who are thus endowed, have
seldom any other revenue, but live upon the main stock.
Great speakers in publick are seldom agreeable in private conversation, whether their faculty be natural, or acquired by practice, and often venturing. Natural elocution, although it may
seem a paradox, usually springs from a barrenness of invention,
and of words; by which men who have only one stock of notions
upon every subject, and one set of phrases to express them in,
they swim upon the superficies, and offer themselves on every
occasion; therefore, men of much learning, and who know the
compass of a language, are generally the worst talkers on a
sudden, until much practice has inured and emboldened them;
because they are confounded with plenty of matter, variety of
notions, and of words, which they cannot readily choose, but are
perplexed and entangled by too great a choice; which is no disadvantage in private conversation; where, on the other side, the
talent of haranguing is, of all others, most insupportable.
Nothing has spoiled men more for conversation, than the character of being wits; to support which, they never fail of encouraging a number of followers and admirers, who list themselves
in their service, wherein they find their accounts on both sides by
pleasing their mutual vanity. This has given the former such an
air of superiority, and made the latter so pragmatical, that neither
of them are well to be endured. I say nothing here of the itch
of dispute and contradiction, telling of lies, or of those who are
troubled with the disease called the wandering of the thoughts, so
that they are never present in mind at what passes in discourse;
for whoever labours under any of these possessions, is as unfit for
conversation as a madman in Bedlam.
I think I have gone over most of the errours in conversation
that have fallen under my notice or memory, except some that




378


HINTS TO WARD AN ESSAY


are merely personal, and others too gross to need exploding;
such as lewd or profane talk; but I pretend only to treat the
errours of conversation in general, and not the several subjects of
discourse, which would be infinite.  Thus we see how human
nature is most debased, by the abuse of that faculty which is held
the great distinction between men and brutes; and how little
advantage we make of that, which might be the greatest, the
most lasting, and the most innocent as well as useful pleasure of
life; in default of which, we are forced to take up with those poor
amusements of dress and visiting, or the more pernicious ones of
play, drink, and vicious amours; whereby the nobility and gentry
of both sexes are entirely corrupted both in body and mind, and
have lost all notions of love, honour, friendship, generosity; which,
under the name of fopperies, have been for some time laughed
out of doors.
This degeneracy of conversation, with the pernicious consequences thereof upon our humours and d;spositions, has been
owing, among other causes, to the custom arisen, for some time
past, of excluding women from any share in our society, farther
than in parties at play, or dancing, or in the pursuit of an amour.
I take the highest period of politeness in England (and it is of
the same date in France) to have been the peaceable part of king
Charles the first's reign: and from what we read of those times,
as well as from the accounts I have formerly met with fiom some
who lived in that court, the methods then used for raising and
cultivating conversation were altogether different from ours:
several ladies, whom we find celebrated by the poets of that age,
had assemblies at their houses, where persons of the best understanding, and of both sexes, met to pass the evenings in discoursing upon whatever agreeable subjects were occasionally started;
and although we are apt to ridicule the sublime platonick notions
they had, or personated, in love and friendship, I conceive their
refinements were grounded upon reason, and that a little grain of
the romance is no ill ingredient to preserve and exalt the dignity
of human nature, without which it is apt to degenerate into every
thing that is sordid, vicious, and low. If there were no other use




ON CONVERSATION.


3 79


in the conversation of ladies, it is sufficient that it would lay a
restraint upon those odious topicks of immodesty and indecencies into which the rudeness of our northern genius is so apt to
fall. And, therefore, it is observable in those sprightly gentlemen
about the town, who are so very dextrous at entertaining a
vizard mask in the park or the playhouse, that, in the company
of ladies of virtue and honour, they are silent and disconcerted,
and out of their element.
There are some people who think they sufficiently acquit themselves, and entertain their company, with relating facts of no consequence, nor at all out of the road of such common incidents as
happen every day; and this I have observed more frequently
among the Scots than any other nation, who are very careful
not to omit the minutest circumstances of time or place; which
kind of discourse, if it were not a little relieved by the uncouth
terms and phrases, as well as accent and gesture, peculiar to that
country, would be hardly tolerable. It is not a fault in company
to talk much; but to continue it long is certainly one; for, if the
majority of those who are got together be naturally silent or
cautious, the conversation will flag, unless it be often renewed by
one amono them, who can start new subjects, provided he does
not dwell upon them, that leave room for answers and replies.




I




A LETTER OF ADVICE


TO
A YOUNG POET.
TOGETHER WITH A PROPOSAL FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT OF
POETRY IN IRELAND.
"Sic honor et nomen divinis vatibus at que
Carminibus venit."-HoR. DE ART. POET. 400.
Dec. I, 1720.
SIR, I have always professed a friendship for you, and have
therefore been more inquisitive into your conduct and
studies than is usually agreeable to young men; so I must own
I am not a little pleased to find, by your last account, that you
have entirely bent your thoughts to English poetry, with design
to make it your profession and business. Two reasons incline
me to encourage you in this study; one, the narrowness of your
present circumstances; the other, the great use of poetry to mankind and society, and in every employment of life. Upon these
views, I cannot but commend your wise resolution to withdraw
so early from other unprofitable and severe studies, and betake
yourself to that, which, if you have good luck, will advance your
fortune, and make you an ornament to your friends and your
country. It may be your justification, and farther encouragement,
to consider, that history, ancient or modern, cannot furnish you
an instance of one person, eminent in any station, who was not in
some measure versed in poetry, or at least a wellwisher to the




382   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
professors of it; neither would I despair to prove, if legally called
thereto, that it is impossible to be a good soldier, divine, or
lawyer, or even so much as an eminent bellman, or balladsinger,
without some taste of poetry, and a competent skill in versification: but I say the less of this, because the renowned Sir P.
Sidney has exhausted the subject before me, in his Defence of
Poesie, on which I shall make no other remark but this, that he
argues there as if he really believed himself.
For my own part, having never made one verse since I was at
school, where I suffered too much for my blunders in poetry to
have any love to it ever since, I am not able, from any experience
of my own, to give you those instructions you desire; neither will
I declare (for I love to conceal my passions) how much I lament
my neglect of poetry in those periods of my life which were
properest for improvements in that ornamental part of learning;
besides, my age and infirmities might well excuse me to you, as
being unqualified to be your writing-master, with spectacles on,
and a shaking hand. However, that I may not be altogether
wanting to you in an affair of so much importance to your credit
and happiness, I shall here give you somescattered thoughts upon
the subject, such as I have gathered by reading and observation.
There is a certain little instrument, the first of those in use with
scholars, and the meanest, considering the materials of it, whether
it be a joint of wheaten straw (the old Arcadian pipe) or just three
inches of slender wire, or a stripped feather, or a corking pin.
Farthermore, this same diminutive tool, for the posture of it,
usually reclines its head on the thumb of the right hand, sustains
the foremost finger upon its breast, and is itself supported by the
second. This is commonly known by the name of a fescue; I
shall here therefore condescend to be this little elementary guide,
and point out some particulars, which may be of use to you in
your hornbook of poetry.
In the first place, I am not yet convinced, that it is at all necessary for a modern poet to believe in God, or have any serious
sense of religion; and in this article you must give me leave to
suspect your capacity: because, religion being what your mother




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.             383
taught you, you will hardly find it possible, at least not easy, all
at once to get over those early prejudices, so far as to think it
better to be a great wit than a good Christian, though herein the
general practice is against you; so that if, upon inquiry, you find
in yourself any such softnesses, owing to the nature of your education, my advice is, that you forthwith lay down your pen, as having
no farther business with it in the way of poetry; unless you will
be content to pass for an insipid, or will submit to be hooted at
by your fraternity, or can disguise your religion, as well-bred men
do their learning, in complaisance to company.
For, poetry, as it has been managed for some years past, by
such as make a business of it (and of such only I speak here, for
I do not call him a poet that writes for his diversion, any more
than that gentleman a fiddler who amuses himself with a violin)
I say, our poetry of late has been altogether disengaged from the
narrow notions of virtue and piety, because it has been found by
experience of our professors, that the smallest quantity of religion,
like a single drop of malt liquor in claret, will muddy and discompose the brightest poetical genius.
Religion supposes heaven and hell, the word of God, and
sacraments, and twenty other circumstances, which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour, and such as
a true poet cannot possibly give into, with a saving to his poetical
license; but yet it is necessary for him, that others should believe
those things seriously, that his wit may be exercised on their
wisdom for so doing; for though a wit need not have religion,
religion is necessary to a wit, as an instrument is to the hand that
plays upon it: and for this, the moderns plead the example of
their great idol Lucretius, who had not been by half so eminent
a poet (as he truly was) but that he stood tiptoe on religion,
Religo tedibus subjecta, and, by that rising ground, had the advantage of all the poets of his own or following times, who were not
mounted on the same pedestal.
Besides, it is farther to be observed, that Petronius, another of
their favourites, speaking of the qualifications of a good poet,
insists chiefly on the liber spiritus; by which I have been igno



384   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
rant enough heretofore to suppose he meant, a good invention, or
great compass of thought, or a sprightly imagination: but I have
learned a better construction, from the opinion and practice of
the moderns; and, taking it literally for a free spirit, i e. a spirit,
or mind, free or disengaged from all prejudices concerning God,
religion, and another world, it is to me a plain account why our
present set of loets are, and hold themselves obliged to be, freethinkers.
But, although I cannot recommend religion upon the practice
of some of our most eminent English poets, yet I can justly
advise you, from their example, to be conversant in the Scriptures,
and, if possible, to make yourself entirely master of them; in
which, however, I intend nothing less than imposing upon you a
task of piety. Far be it from me to desire you to believe them,
or lay any great stress upon their authority; in that you may do
as you think fit; but to read them as a piece of necessary furniture
for a wit and a poet; which is a very different view from that of a
Christian. For I have made it my observation, that the greatest
wits have been the best textuaries: our modern poets are, all to a
man, almost as well read in the Scriptures as some of our divines,
and often abound more with the phrase. They have read them
historically, critically, musically, comically, poetically, and every
other way except religiously, and have found their account in
doing so. For the Scriptures are undoubtedly a fund of wit, and
a subject for wit. You may, according to the modern practice,
be witty upon them, or out of them: and, to speak the truth, but
for them, I know not what our playwrights would do for images,
allusions, similitudes, examples, or even language itself. Shut up
the Sacred Books, and I would be bound our wit would run down
like an alarutm, or fall as the stocks did, and ruin half the poets
in these kingdoms. And if that were the case, how would most
of that tribe (all, I think, but the immortal Addison, who made a
better use of his Bible, and a few more) who dealt so freely in
that fund, rejoice that they had drawn out in time, and left the
present generation of poets to be the bubbles.
But here I must enter one caution, and desire you to take




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.           385
notice, that in this advice of reading the Scriptures, I had not the
least thought concerning your qualification that way for poetical
orders; which I mention, because I find a notion of that kind
advanced by one of our English poets; and is, I suppose, maintained by the rest. He says to Spenser, in a pretended vision,
"c     With hands laid on, ordain me fit
For the great cure and ministry of wit."
Which passage is, in my opinion, a notable allusion to the Scriptures; and making but reasonable allowances for the small circumstance of profaneness, bordering close upon blasphemy, is
inimitably fine; beside some useful discoveries made in it, as,
that there are bishops in poetry, that these bishops must ordain
young poets, and with laying on hands; and that poetry is a
cure of souls; and, consequently speaking, those who have such
cures ought to be poets, and too often are so: and indeed, as of
old, poets and priests were one and the same function, the
alliance of those ministerial offices is to this day happily maintained in the same persons; and this I take to be the only
justifiable reason for that appellation which they so much affect,
I mean the modest title of divine poets. However, having never
been present at the ceremony of ordaining to the priesthood of
poetry, I own I have no notion of the thing, and shall say the
less of it here.
'T'he Scriptures then being generally both the fountain and
subject of modern wit, I could do no less than give them the
preference in your reading. After a thorough acquaintance with
them, I would advise you to turn your thoughts to human literature, which yet I say more in compliance with vulgar opinions,
than according to my own sentiments.
For, indeed, nothing has surprised me more, than to see the
prejudices of mankind as to this matter of human learning, who
have generally thought it is necessary to be a good scholar in order
to be a good poet; than which nothing is falser in fact, or more
contrary to practice and experience. Neither will I dispute the
matter if any man will undertake to show me one professed poet
2 B




386   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
now in being, who is anything of what may be justly called a
scholar; or is the worse poet for that, but perhaps the better, for
being so little encumbered with the pedantry of learning: it is
true, the contrary was the opinion of our forefathers, which we of
this age have devotion enough to receive from them on their own
terms, and unexamined, but not sense enough to perceive it was
a gross mistake in them. So Horace has told us:
"Scribendi recte sapere est et principium et fons,
Rem tibi Socraticae poterunt ostendere chartae."
HOR. DE ART. POET. 309.
But, to see the different casts of men's heads, some, not inferior to that poet in understanding, (if you will take their own
word for it) do see no consequence in this rule, and are not
ashamed to declare themselves of a contrary opinion. Do not
many men write well in common account, who have nothing of
that principle?  Many are too wise to be poets, and others too
much poets to be wise. Must a man, forsooth, be no less than
a philosopher to be a poet, when it is plain that some of the
greatest idiots of the age are our prettiest performers that way?
And for this, I appeal to the judgment and observation of mankind. Sir Ph. Sidney's notable remark upon this nation, may
-not be improper to mention here. He says, "In our neighbour
country, Ireland, where true learning goes very bare, yet are their
poets held in devout reverence;" which shows, that learning is
no way necessary either to the making of a poet, or judging of
him. And farther, to see the fate of things, notwithstanding our
learning here is as bare as ever, yet are our poets not held, as
formerly, in devout reverence; but are, perhaps, the most contemptible race of mortals now in this kingdom, which is no less
to be wondered at than lamented.
Some of the old philosophers were poets, as, according to the
forementioned author, Socrates and Plato were: which, however,
is what I did not know before; but that does not say that all
poets are, or that any need be, philosophers, otherwise than as
those are so called who are a little out at the elbows. In which




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.             387
sense the great Shakespeare might have been a philosopher; but
was no scholar, yet was an excellent poet. Neither do I think
a late most judicious critick so much mistaken, as others do, in
advancing this opinion, that " Shakespeare had been a worse poet,.had he been a better scholar: " and Sir WV. Davenant is another
instance in the same kind. Nor must it be forgotten, that Plato
was an avowed enemy to poets; which is, perhaps, the reason
why poets have been always at enmity with his profession; and
have rejected all learning and philosophy, for the sake of that one
philosopher. As I take the matter, neither philosophy, nor any
part of learning, is more necessary to poetry (which if you will
believe the same author, is "the sum of all learning") than to
know the theory of light, and the several proportions and diversifications of it in particular colours, is to a good painter.
Whereas, therefore, a certain author, called Petronius Arbiter,
going upon the same mistake, has confidently declared, that one
ingredient of a good poet, is "m goens ing;enti liierarun ifuminze inulndata;" I do on the contrary declare, that this his assertion (to
speak of it in the softest terms) is no better than an invidious and
unhandsome reflection on all the gentlemen poets of these times;
for with his good leave, much less than a flood, or inundation,
will serve the turn; and, to my certain knowledge, some of our
greatest wits in your poetical way, have not as much real learning
as would cover a sixpence in the bottom of a bason; nor do I
think the worse of them; for, to speak my private opinion, I am
for every man's working upon his own materials, and producing
only what he can find within himself, which is commonly a better
stock than the owner knows it to be. I think flowers of wit ought
to spring, as those in a garden do, from their own root and stem,
without foreign assistance. I would have a man's wit rather like
a fountain, that feeds itself invisibly, than a river, that is supplied
by several streams from abroad.
Or, if it be necessary, as the case is with some barren wits, to
take in the thoughts of others in order to draw forth their own, as
dry pumps will not play till water is thrown into them; in that
necessity, I would recommend some of the approved standard




388   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
authors of antiquity for your perusal, as a poet and a wit; because, maggots being what you look for, as monkeys do for vermin
in their keepers' heads, you will find they abound in good old
authors, as in rich old cheese, not in the new; and for that reason
you must have the classicks, especially the most wormeaten of
them, often in your hands.
But with this caution, that you are not to use those ancients as
unlucky lads do their old fathers, and make no conscience of
picking their pockets and pillaging them. Your business is not
to steal from them, but to improve upon them, and make their
sentiments your own; which is an effect of great judgment;
and, though difficult, yet very possible, without the scurvy imputation of filching; for I humbly conceive, though I light my
candle at my neighbour's fire, that does not alter the property, or
make the wick, the wax, or the flame, or the whole candle, less
my own.
Possibly you may think it a very severe task, to arrive at a
competent knowledge of so many of the ancients as excel in
their way; and indeed it would be really so, but for the short
and easy method lately found out of abstracts, abridgments,
summaries, &c., which are admirable expedients for being very
learned with little or no reading; and have the same use with
burning-glasses, to collect the diffused rays of wit and learning in
authors, and make them point with warmth and quickness upon
the reader's imagination. And to this is nearly related that other
modern device of consulting indexes, which is to read books
hebraically, and begin where others usually end. And this is a
compendious way of coming to an acquaintance with authors;
for authors are to be used like lobsters, you must look for the
best meat in the tails, and lay the bodies back again in the
dish. Your cunningest thieves (what else are readers, who only
read to borrow, i.e. to steal) used to cut off the portmanteau from
behind, without staying to dive into the pockets of the owner.
Lastly, you are taught thus much in the very elements of philosophy; for one of the finest rules in logick is, Finis estfnrimus zn
intenlttiae.




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.            389
The learned world is therefore most highly indebted to a late
painful and judicious editor of the classicks, who has laboured
in that new way with exceeding felicity. Every author, by his
management, sweats under himself, being overloaded with his
own index, and carries, like a north-country pedlar, all his substance and furniture upon his back, and with as great variety of
trifles. To him let all young students make their compliments
for so much time and pains saved in the pursuit of useful knowledge; for whoever shortens a road, is a benefactor to the
publick, and to every particular person who has occasion to
travel that way.
But to proceed. I have lamented nothing more in my time,
than the disuse of some ingenious little plays, in fashion with
young folks when I was a boy, and to which the great facility of
that age, above ours, in composing, was certainly owing; and if
any thing has brought a damp upon the versification of these
times, we have no farther than this to go for the cause of it.
Now, could these sports be happily revived, I am of opinion your
wisest course would be to apply your thoughts to them, and never
fail to make a party when you can, in those profitable diversions.
For example, crambo is of extraordinary use to good rhiming,
and rhiming is what I have ever accounted the very essential of a
good poet: and in that notion I am not singular; for the aforesaid Sir P. Sidney has declared, "That the chief life of modern
versifying consists in the like sounding of words, which we call
rhime;" which is an authority, either without exception, or above
any reply. Wherefore, you are ever to try a good poem as you
would sound a pipkin; and if it rings well upon the knuckle, be
sure there is no flaw in it. Verse without rhime, is a body without a soul (for the "chief life consisteth in the rhime") or a bell
without a clapper; which, in strictness, is no bell, as being neither
of use nor delight. And the same ever-honoured knight, with so
musical an ear, had that veneration for the tuneableness and
chiming of verse, that he speaks of a poet as one that has "the
reverend title of a rhimer."  Our celebrated Milton has done
these nations great prejudice in this particular, having spoiled




390   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
as many reverend rhimers, by his example, as he has made
real poets.
For which reason, I am overjoyed to hear that a very ingenious
youth of this town is now upon the useful design (for which he
is never enough to be commended) of bestowing rhime upon
Milton's "Paradise Lost," which will make the poem, in that
only defective, more heroick and sonorous than it hitherto has
been. I wish the gentleman success in the performance; and, as
it is a work in which a young man could not be more happily
employed, or appear in with greater advantage to his character,
so I am concerned that it did not fall out to be your province.
With much the same view, I would recommend to you the
witty play of pictures and mottoes, which will furnish your imagination with great store of images and suitable devices. We of
these kingdoms have found our account in this diversion, as little
as we consider or acknowledge it; for to this we owe our eminent
felicity in posies of rings, mottoes of snuff-boxes, the humours of
signposts with their elegant inscriptions, &c., in which kind of
productions not any nation in the world, no not the Dutch themselves, will presume to rival us.
For much the same reason, it may be proper for you to have
some insight into the play called, What is it like? as of great use
in common practice, to quicken slow capacities, and improve the
quickest: but the chief end of it is, to supply the fancy with
varieties of similies for all subjects. It will teach you to bring
things to a likeness, which have not the least imaginable conformity in nature, which is properly creation, and the very business
of a poet, as his name implies: and let me tell you, a good poet
can no more be without a stock of similies by him, than a shoemaker without his lasts. He should have them sized, and ranged,
and hung up in order in his shop, ready for all customers, and
shaped to the feet of all sorts of verse: and here I could more
fully (and I long to do it) insist upon the wonderful harmony and
resemblance between a poet and a shoemaker, in many circumstances common to both; such as the binding of their temples,
the stuff they work upon, and the paring-knife they use, &c., but




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.            391
that I would not digress, nor seem to trifle in so serious a
matter.
Now I say, if you ap-ply yourself to these diminutive sports (not
to mention others of equal ingenuity, such as draw gloves, cross
purposes, questions and commands, and the rest) it is not to be
conceived what benefit (of nature) you will find by them, and how
they will open the body of your invention. To these devote your
spare hours, or rather spare all your hours to them, and then
you will act as becomes a wise man, and make even diversions an
improvement; like the inimitable management of the bee, which
does the whole business of life at once, and at the same time both
feeds, and works, and diverts itself.
Your own prudence will, I doubt not, direct you to take a place
every evening among the ingenious, in the corner of a certain
coffee-house in this town, where you will receive a turn equally
right as to wit, religion, and politicks; as likewise to be as frequent
at the playhouse as you can afford, without selling your books.
For, in our chaste theatre, even Cato himself might sit to the
falling of the curtain: besides, you will sometimes meet with
tolerable conversation among the players: they are such a kind of
men as may pass, upon the same sort of capacities, for wits off
the stage, as they do for fine gentlemen upon it. Besides, that I
have known a factor deal in as good ware, and sell as cheap, as
the merchant himself that employs him.
Add to this the expediency of furnishing out your shelves with
a choice collection of modern miscellanies, in the gayest edition;
and of reading all sorts of plays, especially the new, and above
all, those of our own growth, printed by subscription; in which
article of Irish manufacture, I readily agree to the late proposal,
and am altogether for "rejecting and renouncing every thing that
comes from England:" to what purpose should we go thither for
coals or poetry, when we have a vein within ourselves equally good
and more convenient? Lastly,
A commonplace book is what a provident poet cannot subsist
without; for this p:overbial reason, that "great wits have short
memories;" and whereas, on the other hand, poets, being liars by




392   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
profession, ought to have good memories; to reconcile these, a
book of this sort, is in the nature of a supplemental memory, or a
record of what occurs remarkable in every day's reading or conversation. There you enter not only your own original thoughts,
(which, a hundred to one, are few and insignificant) but such of
other men as you think fit to make your own, by entering them
there. For, take this for a rule, when an author is in your books,
you have the same demand upon him for his wit, as a merchant
has for your money, when you are in his.
By these few and easy prescriptions, (with the help of a good
genius) it is possible you may, in a short time, arrive at the
accomplishments of a poet, and shine in that character. As for
your manner of composing, and choice of subjects, 1 cannot take
upon me to be your director; but I will venture to give you some
short hints, which you may enlarge upon at your leisure. Let
me entreat you then, by no means to lay aside that notion
peculiar to our modern refiners in poetry, which is, that a poet
must never write or discourse as the ordinary part of mankind
do, but in number and verse, as an oracle; which I mention the
rather, because, upon this principle, I have known heroes brought
into the pulpit, and a whole sermon composed and delivered in
blank verse, to the vast credit of the preacher, no less than the
real entertainment and great edification of the audience; the
secret of which I take to be this: when the matter of such discourses is but mere clay, or as we usually call it, sad stuff, the
preacher who can afford no better, wisely moulds, and polishes,
and dries, and washes this piece of earthen ware, and then bakes
it with poetick fire; after which it will ring like any pancrock,
and is a good dish to set before common guests, as every congregation is, that comes so often for entertainment to one place.
There was a good old custom in use, which our ancestors had,
of invoking the Muses at the entrance of their poems; I suppose,
by. way of craving a blessing: this the graceless moderns have in
a great measure laid aside, but are not to be followed in that
poetical impiety; for, although to nice ears such invocations may
sound harsh and disagreeable (as tuning instruments is before a




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.            393
concert) they are equally necessary. Again, you must not fail to
dress your muse in a forehead cloth of Greek or Latin, I mean,
you are always to make use of a quaint motto to all your compositions; for, beside that this artifice bespeaks the reader's
opinion of the writer's learning, it is otherwise useful and commendable. A bright passage in the front of a poem is a good
mark, like a star in a horse's face; and the piece will certainly
go off the better for it. The os mnagna sonaflirum, which, if I
remember right, Horace makes one qualification of a good poet,
may teach you not to gag your muse, or stint yourself in words
and epithets which cost you nothing, contrary to the practice of
some few out-of-the-way writers, who use a natural and concise
expression, and affect a style like unto a Shrewsbury cake, short
and sweet upon the palate; they will not afford you a word more
than is necessary to make them intelligible, which is as poor and
niggardly, as it would be to set down no more meat than your
company will be sure to eat up. Words are but lackeys to sense,
and will dance attendance without wages or compulsion.  Verba
non iznvita sequeitur.
Furthermore, when you set about composing, it may be necessary for your ease, and better distillation of wit, to put on your
worst clothes, and the worse the better; for an author, like a
limbeck, will yield the better for having a rag about him:
besides, that I have observed a gardener cut the outward rind of
a tree, (which is the surtout of it) to make it bear well: and this
is a natural account of the usual poverty of poets, and is an argument why wits, of all men living, ought to be ill clad. I have
always a sacred veneration for any one I observe to be a little
out of repair in his person, as supposing him either a poet or a
philosopher; because the richest minerals are ever found under
the most ragged and withered surface of the earth.
As for your choice of subjects, I have only to give you this
caution; that as a handsome way of praising is certainly the
most difficult point in writing or speaking, I would by no means
advise any young man to make his first essay in panegyrick,
beside the danger of it: for a particular encomium  is ever




394   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
attended with more ill-will than any general invective, for which I
need give no reasons; wherefore my counsel is, that you use the
point of your pen, not the feather: let your first attempt be a
coup d'eclat in the way of libel, lampoon, or satire. Knock down
half a score reputations, and you will infallibly raise your own;
and so it be with wit, no matter with how little justice; for fiction
is your trade.
Every great genius seems to ride upon mankind, like Pyrrhus
on his elephant; and the way to have the absolute ascendant of
your resty nag, and to keep your seat, is, at your first mounting,
to afford him the whip and spurs plentifully; after which, you
may travel the rest of the day with great alacrity. Once kick the
world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonable
good understanding. You cannot but know that those of your
p)rofession have been called, genus irritabile vaum;, and you will
find it necessary to qualify yourself for that waspish society, by
exerting your talent of satire upon the first occasion, and to
abandon good nature, only to prove yourself a true poet, which
you will allow to be a valuable consideration: in a word, a young
robber is usually entered by a murder: a young hound is blooded
when he comes first into the field: a young bully begins with
killing his man: and a young poet must show his wit, as the
other his courage, by cutting, and slashing, and laying about him,
and banging mankind.
Lastly, It will be your wisdom to look out betimes for a good
service for your muse, according to her skill and qualifications,
whether in the nature of a dairymaid, a cook, or charwoman: I
mean, to hire out your pen to a party, which will afford you both
pay and protection; and when you have to do with the press, (as
you will long to be there) take care to bespeak an importunate
friend, to extort your productions with an agreeable violence; and
which, according to the cue between you, you must surrender
dizrio male pertinaci: there is a decency in this; for it no more
becomes an author, in modesty, to have a hand in publishing his
own works, than a woman in labour to lay herself.
I would be very loth to give the least umbrage or offence by




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.            395
what I have here said, as I may do, if I should be thought to
insinuate that these circumstances of good writing have been
unknown to, or not observed by, the poets of this kingdom: I
will do my countrymen the justice to say, they have written by
the foregoing rules with great exactness, and so far as hardly to
come behind those of their profession in England, in perfection
of low writing. The sublime indeed is not so common with us;
but ample amends is made for that want, in great abundance of
the admirable and amazing, which appears in all our compositions.
Our very good friend (the knight aforesaid) speaking of the force
of poetry, mentions "rhyming to death, which (adds he) is said
to be done in Ireland;" and truly, to our honour be it spoken,
that power, in a great measure, continues with us to this day.
I would now offer some poor thoughts of mine for the encouragement of poetry in this kingdom, if I could hope they
would be agreeable. I have had many an aching heart for the
ill plight of that noble profession here; and it has been my late
and early study, how to bring it into better circumstances. And
surely, considering what monstrous wits, in the poetick way, do
almost daily start up and surprise us in this town; what prodigious
geniuses we have here (of which I could give instances without
number) and withal of what great benefit it may be to our trade to
encourage that science here, for it is plain our linen manufacture is
advanced by the great waste of paper made by our present set of
poets; not to mention other necessary uses of the same to shopkeepers, especially grocers, apothecaries, and pastry cooks, and I
might add, but for our writers, the nation would in a little time
be utterly destitute of bumfodder, an-l must of necessity import
the same from England and Holland, where they have it in great
abundance by the indefatigable labour of their own wits: I say,
these things considered, I am humbly of opinion, it would be
worth the care of our governors to cherish gentlemen of the quill,
and give them all proper encouragements here. And, since I am
upon the subject, I shall speak my mind very freely, and if I
add saucily, it is no more than my birthright as a Briton.
Seriously then, I have many years lamented the want of a




396   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
Grub-street in this our large and polite city, unless the whole
may be called one. And this I have accounted an unpardonable
defect in our constitution, ever since I had any opinions I could
call my own. Every one knows Grub-street is a market for small
ware in wit, and as necessary, considering the usual purgings
of the human brain, as the nose is upon a man's face: and for
the same reason, we have here a court, a college, a playhouse,
and beautiful ladies, and fine gentlemen, and good claret, and
abundance of pens, ink, and paper, clear of taxes, and every other
circumstance to provoke wit; and yet those whose province it
is have not thought fit to appoint a place for evacuations of it,
which is a very hard case, as may be judged by comparisons.
And truly this defect has been attended with unspeakable
inconveniences: for, not to mention the prejudice done to the
commonwealth of letters, I am of opinion we suffer in our health
by it: I believe our corrupted air, and frequent thick fogs, are in
a great measure owing to the common exposal of our wit; and
that, with good management, our poetical vapours might be carried
off in a common drain, and fall into one quarter of the town,
without infecting the whole, as the case is at present, to the great
offence of our nobility and gentry, and others of nice noses.
When writers of all sizes, like freemen of the city, are at liberty to
throw out their filth and excrementitious productions in every
street as they please, what can the consequence be, but that the
town must be poisoned, and become such another jakes, as, by
report of great travellers, Edinburgh is at night, a thing well to be
considered in these pestilential times.
I am not of the society for reformation of manners, but, without that pragmatical title, I should be glad to see some amendment in the matter before us: wherefore I humbly bespeak the
favour of the lord mayor, the court of aldermen, and common
council, together with the whole circle of arts in this town, and do
recommend this affair to their most political consideration; and
I persuade myself they will not be wanting in their best endeavours, when they can serve two such good ends at once, as both
to keep the town sweet, and encourage poetry in it. Neither




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.            397
do I make any exceptions as to satirical poets and lampoon
writers, in consideration of their office; for though, indeed, their
business is to rake into kennels, and gather up the filth of streets
and families, (in which respect they may be, for ought I know,
as necessary to the town as scavengers or chimney-sweeps) yet I
have observed they too, have themselves, at the same time, very
foul clothes, and, like dirty persons, leave more filth and nastiness than they sweep away.
In a word, what I would be at (for I love to be plain in matters
of importance to my country) is, that some private street, or blind
alley of this town, may be fitted up, at the charge of the publick,
as an apartment for the Muses (like those at Rome and Amsterdam, for their female relations) and be wholly consigned to the
uses of our wits, furnished completely with all appurtenances,
such as authors, supervisors, presses, printers, hawkers, shops, and
warehouses, abundance of garrets, and every other implement and
circumstance of wit; the benefit of which would obviously be
this, viz., that we should then have a safe repository for our best
productions, which at present are handed about in single sheets
or manuscripts, and may be altogether lost, (which were a pity) or
at the best, are subject, in that loose dress, like handsome women,
to great abuse.
Another point that has cost me some melancholy reflections, is
the present state of the playhouse; the encouragement of which
has an immediate influence upon the poetry of the kingdom, as
a good market improves the tillage of the neighbouring country,
and enriches the ploughman; neither do we of this town seem
enough to know or consider the vast benefit of a playhouse to our
city and nation: that single house is the fountain of ail our love,
wit, dress, and gallantry. It is the school of wisdom; for there
we learn to know what's what; which, however, I cannot say is
always in that place sound knowledge. There our young folks
drop their childish mistakes, and come first to perceive their
mothers' cheat of the parsleybed; there too they get rid of natural
prejudices, especially those of religion and modesty, which are
great restraints to a free people. The same is a remedy for the




398   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
spleen, and blushing, and several distempers occasioned by the
stagnation of the blood.  It is likewise a school of common
swearing; my young master, who at first but minced an oath, is
taught there to mouth it gracefully, and to swear, as he reads
French, ore rolundo. Profaneness was before to him in the nature
of his best suit, or holiday-clothes; but, upon frequenting the
playhouse, swearing, cursing, and lying, become like his every
day coat, waistcoat, and breeches. Now I say common swearing,
a produce of this country as plentiful as our corn, thus cultivated
by the playhouse, might, with management, be of wonderful
advantage to the nation, as a projector of the swearers' bank has
proved at large. Lastly, the stage in great measure supports the
pulpit; for I know not what our divines could have to say there
against the corruptions of the age, but for the playhouse, which is
the seminary of theml. From which it is plain, the publick is a
gainer by the playhouse, and consequently ought to countenance
it; and, were I worthy to put in my word, or prescribe to my
betters, I could say in what manner.
I have heard that a certain gentleman has great design to serve
the publick, in the way of their diversion, with due encouragement; that is, if he can obtain some concordatum-money, or
yearly salary, and handsome contribution; and well he deserves
the favours of the nation: for, to do him justice, he has an uncommon skill in pastimes, having altogether applied his studies
that way, and travelled full many a league, by sea and land, for
this his profound knowledge. With that view alone he has visited
all the courts and cities in Europe, and has been at more pains
than I shall speak of, to take an exact draught of the playhouse
at the Hague, as a model for a new one here. But what can a
private man do by himself in so publick an undertaking? It is
not to be doubted but, by his care and industry, vast improvements may be made, not only in our play-house (which is his
immediate province), but in our gaming ordinaries, groom-porters,
lotteries, bowling-greens, ninepin-alleys, bear-gardens, cock-pits,
prizcs, puppets and rareeshows, and whatever else concerns the
elegant divertisements of this town.  He is truly an original




A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.             399
genius; and I felicitate this our capital city on his residence here,
where I wish him long to live and flourish, for the good of the
commonwealth.
Once more: If any farther applications shall be made on the
other side, to obtain a charter for a bank here, I presume to make
a request, that poetry may be a sharer in that privilege, being a
fund as real, and to the full as well grounded, as our stocks; but
I fear our neighbours, who envy our wit as much as they do our
wealth or trade, will give no encouragement to either. I believe
also, it might be proper to erect a corporation of poets in this
city. I have been idle enough in my time, to make a computation of wits here; and do find we have three hundred performing
poets and upward, in and about this town, reckoning six score to
the hundred, and allowing for demies, like pint bottles; including
also the several denominations of imitators, translators, and
familiar letter writers, &c.  One of these last has lately entertained the town with an original piece, and such a one as, I dare
say, the late British Spectator, in his decline, would have called,
"an excellent specimen of the true sublime;" or "a noble
poem; " or " a fine copy of verses, on a subject perfectly new,"
the author himself; and had given it a place among his latest
lucubrations.
But, as I was saying, so many poets, I am confident, are sufficient to furnish out a corporation in point of number. Then,
for the several degrees of subordinate members requisite to such
a body, there can be no want; for, although we have not one
masterly poet, yet we abound with wardens and beadles; having
a multitude of poetasters, poetitoes, parcel-poets, poet-apes, and
philo-poets, and many of inferior attainments in wit, but strong
inclinations to it, which are by odds more than all the rest. Nor
shall I ever be at ease, till this project of mine (for which I am
heartily thankful to myself) shall be reduced to practice. I long
to see the day, when our poets will be a regular and distinct body,
and wait upon the lord mayor on publick days, like other good citizens, in gowns turned up with green instead of laurels; and when
I myself, who make this proposal, shall be free of their company.




400   A LETTER OF ADVICE TO A YOUNG POET.
To conclude: what if our government had a poet laureat here, as
in England? what if our university had a professor of poetry here,
as in England? what if our lord mayor had a city bard here, as
in England? and, to refine upon England, what if every corporation, parish, and ward in this town, had a poet in fee, as they
have not in England? Lastly, what if every one, 'so qualified,
were obliged to add one more than usual to the number of his
domesticks, and beside a fool and a chaplain (which are often
united in one person) would retain a poet in his family; for,
perhaps, a rhymer is as necessary among servants of a house as a
Dobbin with his bell at the head of a team? But these things I
leave to the wisdom of my superiors.
While I have been directing your pen, I should not forget to
govern my own,which has already exceeded the bounds of a letter:
I njust therefore take my leave abruptly, and desire you, without
further ceremony, to believe that I am, sir, your most humble
servant,                                          J. S.




ON THE DEATH


OF
MRS. JOHNSON [STELLA].
THIS day, being Sunday, January 28th, 1727-8, about eight
o'clock at night, a servant brought me a note, with an
account of the death of the truest, most virtuous, and valuable
friend, that I, or perhaps any other person, was ever blessed with.
She expired about six in the evening of this day; and as soon as
I am left alone, which is about eleven at night, I resolve, for my
own satisfaction, to say something of her life and character.
She was born at Richmond, in Surrey, on the thirteenth day of
March, in the year i68i. Her father was a younger brother of a
good family in Nottinghamshire, her mother of a lower degree;
and indeed she had little to boast of her birth. I knew her from
six years old, and had some share in her education, by directing
what books she should read, and perpetually instructing her in
the principles of honour and virtue; from which she never
swerved in any one action or moment of her life. She was sickly
from her childhood until about the age of fifteen; but then grew
into perfect health, and was looked upon as one of the most
beautiful, graceful, and agreeable young women in London, only
a little too fat. Her hair was blacker than a raven, and every
feature of her face in perfection. She lived generally in the
country, with a family where she contracted an intimate friendship
with another lady of more advanced years. I was then, to my
mortification, settled in Ireland; and about a year after, going to
2 C




402


CHARACTER OF AIRS. JOHNSON.


visit my friends in England, I found she was a little uneasy upon
the death of a person on whom she had some dependence. Her
fortune, at that time, was in all not above fifteen hundred pounds,
the interest of which was but a scanty maintenance, in so dear
a country, for one of her spirit. Under this consideration, and
indeed very much for my own satisfaction, who had few friends
or acquaintance in Ireland, I prevailed with her and her dear
friend and companion, the other lady, to draw what money they
had into Ireland, a great part of their fortune being in annuities
upon funds. Money was then ten per cent. in Ireland, besides
the advantage of returning it, and all necessaries of life at half
the price. They complied with my advice, and soon after came
over; but I happening to continue some time longer in England,
they were much discouraged to live in Dublin, where they were
wholly strangers. She was at that time about nineteen years old,
and her person was soon distinguished. But the adventure looked
so like a frolic, the censure held for some time, as if there were a
secret history in such a removal; which, however, soon blew off
by her excellent conduct. She came over with her friend on the
in the year 70 —;1 and they both lived together
until this day, when death removed her from us. For some years
past, she had been visited with continual ill-health; and several
times, within these last two years, her life was despaired of. But,
for this twelvemonth past, she never had a day's health; and,
properly speaking, she has been dying six months, but kept alive,
almost against nature, by the generous kindness of two physicians
and the care of her friends.-Thus far I writ the same night
between eleven and twelve.
Never was any of her sex born with better gifts of the mind, or
who more improved them by reading and conversation. Yet her
memory was not of the best, and was impaired in the latter years
of her life. But I cannot call to mind that I ever once heard her
make a wrong judgment of persons, books, or affairs.  Her
advice was always the best, and with the greatest freedom mixed
with the greatest decency. She had a gracefulness, somewhat
1 70I.




CHARACTER OF MRS. JOHNSON.


403


more than human, in every motion, word, and action. Never
was so happy a conjunction of civility, freedom, easiness, and
sincerity. There seemed to be a combination among all that
knew her, to treat her with a dignity much beyond her rank: yet
people of all sorts were never more easy than in her company.
Mr. Addison, when he was in Ireland, being introduced to her,
immediately found her out; and, if he had not soon after left
the kingdom, assured me he would have used all endeavours to
cultivate her friendship. A rude or conceited coxcomb passed
his time very ill, upon the least breach of respect; for, in such a
case, she had no mercy, but was sure to expose him to the contempt of the standers-by; yet in such a manner as he was ashamed
to complain, and durst not resent. All of us who had the happiness of her friendship agreed unanimously, that, in an afternoon
or evening's conversation, she never failed, before we parted, of
delivering the best thing that was said in the company. Some of
us have written down several of her sayings, or what the French
call bons mots, wherein she excelled almost beyond belief. She
never mistook the understanding of others; nor ever said a severe
word, but where a much severer was deserved.
Her servants loved, and almost adored her at the same time.
She would, upon occasions, treat them with freedom: yet her demeanour was so awful, that they durst not fail in the least point
of respect. She chid them seldom; but it was with severity,
which had an effect upon them for a long time after.
January 29th.-My head aches, and I can write no more.
January 3oth.-Tuesday.
This is the night of the funeral, which my sickness will not
suffer me to attend. It is now nine at night; and I am removed
into another apartment, that I may not see the light in the church,
which is just over against the window of my bed-chamber.
With all the softness of temper that became a lady, she had
the personal courage of a hero. She and her friend having
removed their lodgings to a new house, which stood solitary, a
parcel of rogues, armed, attempted the house, where there was
only one boy: she was then about four-and-twenty: and having




404


CHARACTER OF MRS. YOHNSON.


been warned to apprehend some such attempt, she learned the
management of a pistol; and the other women and servants
being half dead with fear, she stole softly to her dining-room
window, put on a black hood to prevent being seen, primed
the pistol fresh, gently lifted up the sash; and taking her aim
with the utmost presence of mind, discharged the pistol, loaden
with the bullets, into the body of one villain, who stood the fairest
mark. The fellow, mortally wounded, was carried off by the rest,
and died the next morning: but his companions could not be
found. The Duke of Ormond had often drunk her health to me
upon that account, and had always a high esteem for her. She
was indeed under some apprehensions of going in a boat, after
some danger she had narrowly escaped by water; but she was
reasoned thoroughly out of it. She was never known to cry out,
or discover any fear, in a coach or on horse-back; or any uneasiness by those sudden accidents with which most of her sex, either
by weakness or affectation, appear so much disordered.
She never had the least absence of mind in conversation, nor
given to interruption, or appeared eager to put in her word, by
waiting impatiently until another had done. She spoke in a most
agreeable voice, in the plainest words, never hesitating, except out
of modesty before new faces, where she was somewhat reserved;
nor, among her nearest friends, ever spoke much at a time. She
was but little versed in the common topics of female chat; scandal,
censure, and detraction never came out of her mouth; yet, among
a few friends, in private conversation, she made little ceremony
in discovering her contempt of a coxcomb, and describing all his
follies to the life; but the follies of her own sex, she was rather
inclined to extenuate, or to pity.
When she was once convinced by open facts of any breach of
truth or honour, in a person of high station, especially in the
church, she could not conceal her indignation, nor hear them
named without showing her displeasure in her countenance; particularly one or two of the latter sort, whom she had known and
esteemed, but detested above all mankind, when it was manifest
that they had sacrificed those two precious virtues to their ambi



CHARACTER OF MRS. YOHNSON.


405


tion, and would much sooner have forgiven them the common
immoralities of the laity.
Her frequent fits of sickness, in most parts of her life, had prevented her from making that progress in reading which she would
otherwise have done. She was well versed in the Greek and
Roman story, and was not unskilled in that of France and England.  She spoke French perfectly, but forgot much of it by
neglect and sickness. She had read carefully all the best books of
travels, which serve to open and enlarge the mind. She understood the Platonic and Epicurean philosophy, and judged very
well of the defects of the latter. She made very judicious abstracts
of the best books she had read. She understood the nature of
government, and could point out all the errors of Hobbes, both
in that and religion. She had a good insight into physic, and
knew somewhat of anatomy; in both which she was instructed in
her younger days, by an eminent physician, who had her long
under his care, and bore the highest esteem for her person and
understanding. She had a true taste of wit and good sense, both
in poetry and prose, and was a perfect good critic of style: neither
was it easy to find a more proper or impartial judge, whose advice
an author might better rely on, if he intended to send a thing
into the world, provided it was on a subject that came within the
compass of her knowledge. Yet, perhaps, she was sometimes too
severe, which is a safe and pardonable error. She preserved her
wit, judgment, and vivacity to the last; but often used to complain of her memory.
Her fortune, with some accession, could not, as I have heard
say, amount to much more than two thousand pounds, whereof a
great part fell with her life, having been placed upon annuities in
England, and one in Ireland.
In a person so extraordinary, perhaps it may be pardonable to
mention some particulars, although of little moment, farther than
to set forth her character. Some presents of gold pieces being
often made to her while she was a girl, by her mother and other
friends, on promise to keep them; she grew into such a spirit of
thrift, that, in about three years, they amounted to above two




4o6


CHARACTER OF MRS. JOHNSON.


hundred pounds. She used to show them with boasting; but her
mother, apprehending she would be cheated of them, prevailed,
in some months, and with great importunities, to have them put
out to interest; when the girl, losing the pleasure of seeing and
counting her gold, which she never failed of doing many times in
a day, and despairing of heaping up such another treasure, her
humour took quite the contrary turn: she grew careless and
squandering of every new acquisition, and so continued till about
two-and-twenty: when, by advice of some friends, and the fright
of paying large bills of tradesmen who enticed her into their debt,
she began to reflect upon her own folly, and was never at rest until
she had discharged all her shop bills, and refunded herself a considerable sum she had run out. After which, by the addition of
a few years, and a superior understanding, she became and continued all her life, a most prudent economist; yet still with a
stronger bent to the liberal side, wherein she gratified herself by
avoiding all expense in clothes (which she ever despised), beyond
what was merely decent. And, although her frequent returns of
sickness were very chargeable, except fees to physicians, of which
she met with several so generous that she could force nothing on
them (and indeed she must otherwise have been undone), yet she
never was without a considerable sum of ready money. Insomuch
that upon her death, when her nearest friends thought her very
bare, her executors found in her strong box about one hundred
and fifty pounds in gold. She lamented the narrowness of her
fortune in nothing so much, as that it did not enable her to entertain her friends so often, and in so hospitable a manner as she
desired. Yet they were always welcome; and, while she was in
health to direct, were treated with neatness and elegance, so that
the revenues of her and her companion passed for much more
considerable than they really were. They lived always in lodgings;
their domestics consisted of two maids and one man. She kept
an account of all the family expenses, from her arrival in Ireland
to some months before her death; and she would often repine,
when looking back upon the annals of her household bills, that
everything necessary for life was double the price, while interest




CHARACTER OF MRS. JOHNSON.


407


of money was sunk almost to one half; so that the addition made
to her fortune was indeed grown absolutely necessary.
[I since writ as I found time.]
But her charity to the poor was a duty not to be diminished,
and therefore became a tax upon those tradesmen, who furnish
the fopperies of other ladies. She bought clothes as seldom as
possible, and those as plain and cheap as consisted with the situation she was in; and wore no lace for many years. Either her
judgment or fortune was extraordinary, in the choice of those on
whom she bestowed her charity; for it went farther in doing good
than double the sum from any other hand. And I have heard
her say, "she always met with gratitude from the poor;"' which
must be owing to her skill in distinguishing proper objects, as well
as her gracious manner in relieving them.
But she had another quality that much delighted her, although
it might be thought a kind of check upon her bounty; however,
it was a pleasure she could not resist: I mean, that of making
agreeable presents; wherein I never knew her equal, although it
be an affair of as delicate a nature as most in the course of life.
She used to define a present, "That it was a gift to a friend of
something he wanted, or was fond of, and which could not be
easily gotten for money." I am confident, during my acquaintance with her, she has, in these and some other kinds of liberality,
disposed of to the value of several hundred pounds.  As to
presents made to herself, she received them with great unwillingness, but especially from those to whom she had ever given any;
being, on all occasions, the most disinterested mortal I ever knew
or heard of.
From her own disposition, at least as much as from the frequent
want of health, she seldom made any visits; but her own lodgings,
from before twenty years old, were frequented by many persons
of the graver sort, who all respected her highly, upon her good
sense, good manners, and conversation. Among these were the
late primate Lindsay, bishop Lloyd, bishop Ashe, bishop Brown,
bishop Sterne, bishop Pulleyn, with some others of later date; and
indeed the greatest number of her acquaintance was among the




'408


CHARACTER OF MRS. JOHNSON.


clergy. Honour, truth, liberality, good nature, and modesty, were
the virtues she chiefly possessed, and most valued in her acquaintance: and where she found them, would be ready to allow for
some defects; nor valued them less, although they did not shine
in learning or in wit: but would never give the least allowance for
any failures in the former, even to those who made the greatest
figure in either of the two latter. She had no use of any person's
liberality, yet her detestation of covetous people made her uneasy
if such a one was in her company; upon which occasion she
would say many things very entertaining and humorous.
She never interrupted any person who spoke; she laughed at
no mistakes they made, but helped them out with modesty; and
if a good thing were spoken, but neglected, she would not let it
fall, but set it in the best light to those who were present. She
listened to all that was said, and had never the least distraction
or absence of thought.
It was not safe, nor prudent, in her presence, to offend in the
least word against modesty; for she then gave full employment
to her wit, her contempt, and resentment, under which even
stupidity and brutality were forced to sink into confusion; and
the guilty person, by her future avoiding him like a bear or a
satyr, was never in a way to transgress a second time.
It happened, one single coxcomb, of the pert kind, was in her
company, among several other ladies; and in his flippant way,
began to deliver some double meanings: the rest flapped their
fans, and used the other common expedients practised in such
cases, of appearing not to mind or comprehend what was said.
Her behaviour was very different, and perhaps may be censured.
She said thus to the man: "Sir, all these ladies and I understand your meaning very well, having, in spite of our care, too
often met with those of your sex who wanted manners and good
sense. But, believe me, neither virtuous nor even vicious women
love such kind of conversation. However, I will leave you, and
report your behaviour: and whatever visit I make, I shall first inquire at the door whether you are in the house, that I may be sure
to avoid you." I know not whether a majority of ladies would




CHARACTER OF MRS. JOHNSON.


409


approve of such a proceeding; but I believe the practice of it
would soon put an end to that corrupt conversation, the worst effect
of dulness, ignorance, impudence, and vulgarity; and the highest
affront to the modesty and understanding of the female sex.
By returning very few visits, she had not much company of
her own sex, except those whom she most loved for their easiness,
or esteemed for their good sense; and those, not insisting on
ceremony, came often to her. But she rather chose men for her
companions, the usual topics of ladies' discourse being such as
she had little knowledge of, and less relish. Yet no man was
upon the rack to entertain her, for she easily descended to any
thing that was innocent and diverting. News, politics, censure,
family management, or town-talk, she always diverted to something else; but these indeed seldom happened, for she chose
her company better: and therefore many, who mistook her and
themselves, having solicited her acquaintance, and finding themselves disappointed after a few visits, dropped off; and she was
never known to inquire into the reason, nor ask what was become
of them.
She was never positive in arguing; and she usually treated
those who were so, in a manner which well enough gratified that
unhappy disposition; yet in such a sort as made it very contemptible, and at the same time did some hurt to the owners.
Whether this proceeded from her easiness in general, or from her
indifference to persons, or from her despair of mending them, or
from the same practice which she much liked in Mr. Addison, I
cannot determine; but when she saw any of the company very
warm in a wrong opinion, she was more inclined to confirm them
in it than oppose them. The excuse she commonly gave, when
her friends asked the reason, was, "That it prevented noise, and
saved time." Yet I have known her very angry with some, whom
she much esteemed, for sometimes falling into that infirmity.
She loved Ireland much better than the generality of those who
owe both their birth and riches to it; and having brought over all
the fortune she had in money, left the reversion of the best part
of it, one thousand pounds, to Dr. Stephens's Hospital. She




4IO


CHARACTER OF MRS. JOHNSON.


detested the tyranny and injustice of England, in their treatment
of this kingdom. She had indeed reason to love a country, where
she had the esteem and friendship of all who knew her, and the
universal good report of all who ever heard of her, without one
exception, if I am told the truth by those who keep general conversation. Which character is the more extraordinary, in falling
to a person of so much knowledge, wit, and vivacity, qualities
that are used to create envy, and consequently censure; and must
be rather imputed to her great modesty, gentle behaviour, and
inoffensiveness, than to her superior virtues.
Although her knowledge, from books and company, was much
more extensive than usually falls to the share of her sex; yet she
was so far from making a parade of it, that her female visitants,
on their first acquaintance, who expected to discover it by what
they call hard words and deep discourse, would be sometimes
disappointed, and say, "They found she was like other women."
But wise men, through all her modesty, whatever they discoursed
on, could easily observe that she understood them very well,
by the judgment shown in her observations, as 'well as in her
questions.




BONS MOTS DE STELLA.
-- 4
A  LADY of my intimate acquaintance both in England and
Ireland, in which last kingdom she lived from the eighteenth
year of her age, twenty-six years, had the most and finest accomplishments of any person I ever knew of either sex. It was
observed by all her acquaintance, that she never failed in company to say the best thing that was said, whoever was by; yet her
companions were usually persons of the best understanding in the
kingdom. Some of us, who were her nearest friends, lamented
that we never wrote down her remarks, and what the French call
bons mots. I will recollect as many as I can remember.
We were diverting ourselves at a play called " What is it like?"
One person is to think, and the rest, without knowing the thing,
to say what it is like. The thing thought on was the spleen; she
had said it was like an oyster, and gave her reason immediately,
because it is removed by taking steel inwardly.
Dr. Sheridan, who squandered more than he could afford, took
out his purse as he sat by the fire, and found it was very hot; she
said the reason was, that his money burned in his pocket.
She called to her servants to know what ill smell was in the
kitchen; they answered, they were making matches: Well, said
she, I have heard matches were made in Heaven, but by the brimstone one would think they were made in Hell.
After she had been eating some sweet thing, a little of it happened to stick on her lips: a gentleman told her of it, and offered
to lick it off: she said, No, sir, I thank you, I have a tongue of
my own.
In the late king's time, a gentleman asked Jervas the painter,
where he lived in London? he answered, next door to the king,




412


BONS MOTS DE STELLA.


for his house was near St. James's. The other wondering how
that could be; she said, you mistake Mr. Jervas, for he only
means next door to the sign of a king.
A gentleman who had been very silly and pert in her company,
at last began to grieve at remembering the loss of a child lately
dead. A bishop sitting by comforted him; that he should be
easy, because the child was gone to Heaven. No, my lord, said
she, that is it which most grieves him, because he is sure never to
see his child there.
Having seen some letters writ by a king in a very large hand,
and some persons wondering at them, she said it confirmed the
old saying, That kings had long hands.
Dr. Sheridan, famous for punning, intending to sell a bargain,
said, he had made a very good pun. Somebody asked, what it
was?  He answered, my a-.  The other taking offence, she insisted the doctor was in the right, for every body knew that punning was his blind side.
When she was extremely ill, her physician said, Madam, you
are near the bottom of the hill, but we will endeavour to get you
up again. She answered, Doctor, I fear I shall be out of breath
before I get up to the top.
A dull parson talking of a very smart thing said to another
parson as he came out of the pulpit, he was hammering a long
time, but could not remember the jest; she being impatient, said,
I remember it very well, for I was there, and the words were
these; Sir, you have been blundering at a story this half hour, and
can neither make head nor tail of it.
A very dirty clergyman of her acquaintance, who affected
smartness and repartee, was asked by some of the company how
his nails came to be so dirty? He was at a loss; but she solved
the difficulty, by saying, the doctor's nails grew dirty by scratching
himself.
A quaker apothecary sent her a vial corked; it had a broad
brim, and a label of paper about its neck. " What is that," said
she, "my apothecary's son?"  The ridiculous resemblance, and
the suddenness of the question, set us all a laughing.




APPENDIX,




I




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.
--
SAVINIEN CYRANO DE BERGERAC, from whom Moliere
did not scruple to steal written goods, to whose wit Fontenelle perhaps owed something when he wrote his "Mondes,"
Voltaire something when he wrote his " Micromegas," Swift something when he wrote his "Gulliver," Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac
was born in the year I620, the son of a gentleman at Bergerac in
Perigord. The priest of his parish, a good man named Kostganger, kept a school for young children, and to that Cyrano was
first sent. One of his playmates there, whose name was Le Bret,
remained attached to him throughout life, and published his
works after his death, prefacing them with a sketch of his career,
which is the main source from which modern accounts of the life
of Bergerac have to be drawn up.
At school, under the care of Father Kostganger, Cyrano was a
most impatient pupil. He despised the teaching of his master,
for he was too bold and quick of wit to endure patiently the
littleness of studies which in those days were considered both the
root and fruit of knowledge.  Logic was chopped finer than
smoke. Children were taught to argue in Bocardo, and Felapton,
puzzled with Barbara, Celarent, Darapti, Baroco, Baralipton.
Father Kostganger taught like his neigbours, and over him, as
over another monk, might have been raised after his death the
epitaph:"Hic jacet magister noster,
Qui disputavit bis aut ter,
In Barbara et Celarent,
Ita ut omnes admirarent,




4i6


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


In Fapesmo et Frisesimorum;
Orate pro animas eorum."
Which in a horribly bad translation might stand thus:"Here our logical master lies,
Who disputed twice or thrice
In Baralipton and Darapti,
To the wonder of all who on him clapt eye,
In Fapesmo and Frisesimorum;
Pray for the souls of all the quorum."
This barbarous logic was employed most commonly on useless
sophisms, such as that ancient one called " The Liar," over which
it is said that Philetus puzzled himself to death:-If you say of
yourself, " I lie," and in so saying tell the truth, you lie. If you
say, "I lie," and in so doing tell a lie, you tell the truth.
Aristotle held this case to be a great perplexity. Bergerac
held all such cases in contempt. As a schoolboy he made Father
Kostganger the object of his first disgust at pedants and low
people who prefer the little to the great; at men who will work
for months and for years upon the smell of an apple, to decide
whether it be form or accident.
And there was more than the logic that a boy of spirit might
resent in such education as was thought best at the beginning
of the seventeenth century. A servile following of the ideas
of Greek and Latin writers provoked Bergerac's contempt. O
imilaiores, seruilm pecus  was his feeling throughout life.  A
Peter in such times could call himself Pomponius and spend his
earnings upon the purchase of ground in the Campagna, that he
might there worship Romulus and Remus, and as a Roman keep
the feast of the foundation of the city. A worshipper of Aristotle
could refuse to look through Galileo's telescope, lest he might
irreverently perceive stars which had not been seen by the Greek
sage. A Claude Belurger could learn Homer by heart, carry his
verses always on his person, and repeat them to himself in the
church instead of prayers; finally throwing away his life upon a
journey to the plains of Troy. A Jesuit, Caspar Knitel, could
teach that the seven words of the first line in the AEneid, ille ego




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


4t7


qui quondam gracili modulatus arvena, were so many arguments in
proof of the necessity of practising the virtue of humility. Lawyers
pushed cases home with classical comparisons, clinching them
habitually with Horace's Afutato nomine de le fabulza /naratuzr
But when a fable could be got that required no mutation of
the name, when Tibullus, for example, could be quoted literally
against some poor girl who really had been called Ne-era by her
godfathers and godmothers, the argument was held to be complete.
One advocate, terrible by his skill in finding "homonyms " of
this kind, could not be faced on his own ground until he had
stumbled once and made himself ridiculous. This he did at the
close of a powerful and ingenious speech against one M. Meauder,
whose name he had read in his instructions as Meander, and upon
whose tortuous ways, as well as upon all points that belonged to
his geography and history, the lawyer had dilated with superb
effect, until the terrified object of his denunciation suddenly
cleared his character by shouting, "Sir, my name is Mleauder,
not Meander!"  The whole argument before the court fell into
ruin. Against all this intellectual slavery to a past time, Bergerac
even as a boy rebelled.
Preference of the little to the great was in other respects at that
period the vice of learning and of literature. Men discussed
carefully whether it was always requisite for u to follow q, and in
the middle of the century Thomas Gataker settled the question
for his part by enforcing a separation between the couple that had
so long lived faithfully together, and printing books full of such
spelling as qi, qge, qod. There was a respect entertained towards
lipogrammatic books, treatises in all the words of which some one
letter never occurred. There was a taste in poetry-if it may be
said to concern poetry at all-for acrostics and retrograde verses,
which were equally sensible whether read forwards or backwards,
and in each case scanned correctly. For example, here are a
couple of such verses:"Prospicimus modo quod durabunt tempore longo
Fcedera, nec nobis pax cito diffugiet;"
2D




4l8


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


which when inverted read as follows:"Diffugiet cito pax nobis, nec fcedera longo
Tempore durabunt, quod modo prospicimus."
How miserably time was wasted over littleness like this!
Throughout the provinces of France also literary taste was infected by a love of anagrams; old and young worked at them.
The Father Pierre de St. Louis, author of the " Magdalenaide,"
became a Carmelite monk upon discovering that his lay name
Ludovicus Bartelemi yielded the anagram Carmelo se devozet"he devotes himself to Carmel."
Impatient of the kind of knowledge that he got from Father
Kostganger in Perigord, Cyrano expressed freely his wish for a
much larger field of study.  He was therefore sent to Paris.
Still in his first youth, full of strength and life, and long-restrained
desire for the complete enjoyment of his faculties, he was furnished with money by his father, and trusted alone among the
dangers of the capital. He sought knowledge, and he sought
excitement. He was soon engaged in a wild course of dissipation,
made a party to incessant duels, and displayed such strength and
courage that at the age of nineteen he was known commonly in
Paris by the name of the Intrepid. Knowledge he sought from
Jacques Rohault, whose friend he remained through life, and in
whose classes he had Molibre for fellow-pupil. Moliere afterwards
excused his unscrupulous adoption of the published thoughts of
Bergerac by saying, that when they were pupils together they
used to suggest humorous fancies to each other, and that Bergerac afterwards made use of his ideas so freely that he only
reclaimed his own in pillaging the whims he had suggested. No
doubt there was some ground, but, I am very sure, not much,
for this apology. Bergerac had wit of his own that was only too
luxuriant, and there were few things which it was more natural in
him to scorn than robbery of other people's brains. His whole
life was a protest against it. He foreswore obedience to all the
ancients, threw stones into the temple of Aristotle, and, in the
consciousness of his own strength, claimed freedom from all




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


419


literary bondage. He himself suffered much from petty larceny,
and this scrap from a letter full of humorous complaint against
a literary thief, does not look like the writing of a man who
would dish up for the public scraps filched from the waste heap
even of Moliere.
"He speaks " (writes Bergerac of this purloiner of other men's
ideas) "as much as all books, and all books seem to have spoken
only to produce him. He never opens his mouth except to
commit larceny, and is so born to theft, that when he is silent
it is only to rob the dumb. The ancients are Pagans, and the
Pagans being now our enemies, he takes their property as right
of war. His papers are cemeteries, in which are entombed the
living and the dead. If, on the Day of Judgment, every man
takes his own, the partition of his writings will give rise to tile
last quarrel among men. He claims that inasmuch as the twentyfour letters are as much his property as ours, he has the same
right that we have to arrange them as he pleases. Aristotle
being dead, other men live upon his lands, and why not also on
his books? If this gentleman's manuscripts were on fire, by
throwing water over them I should be saving my own property.
We are friends. His works were my whole thought; and whenever I set myself to imagine anything, I think only of what he
most probably will write."
It is not, indeed, quite true that the possession of wit is a proof
of inability to borrow it from others. If that were so, Moliere,
whose genius far transcended Bergerac's, would never have taken
thoughts from his old friend. But Moiiere, servant of the court
and public, was required to write incessantly, so that, without
lacking humour, he might easily find it worth while to appear
sometimes in the market as a borrower. Bergerac wrote only for
his own amusement, and has left behind him no more than a
single comedy, a single tragedy, a single tale, and a few letters.
His behaviour when he first joined the society of Paris, as an
ungoverned youth with money in his pocket, it has already been
said was scandalous. His friend Le Bret, fearing lest want of
occupation and position might in a few years destroy tihe prospects




42o


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


of a life, persuaded him to become his own companion in arms.
Le Bret was in M. Carbon Castel-jaloux's company of the King's
Body Guards, and Bergerac, upon his friend's recommendation,
also entered it as a cadet. A position of this kind then implied
real military service, and to a man so stout of heart and limb as
young Cyrano, whom his Gascon friends called the Demon of
Courage, and all Paris the Intrepid, it involved a great deal of
fighting that was of a much less creditable kind. Duels used to
be called affairs of honour, which, even now in France, no soldier
has dared to decline. Duellists then chose seconds not to stand
by, but to be positive assistants in the combat. Brave soldiers
were thus called upon incessantly to draw swords in the quarrels
of their friends, and Bergerac, who was no churl, found his great
physical power the occasion to him of frequent danger. Every
man who had a duelling appointment looked for a strong-handed
and intrepid second.  If any friend or chance acquaintance,
therefore, was engaged to fight a duel, he made a point at once
of asking the favour of M. Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac's assistance. Le Bret declares that, although he at one time had duelling appointments for almost every day in the year, and kept
them all, Bergerac never once engaged in combat on account
of any quarrel of his own.
He had a fine face, with a commanding nose upon it, and I
have seen it written of him that he resented any comment on its
size, and fought not a few duels to maintain a due respect for it
among his neighbours. There is no ground at all for this assertion. If his portrait may be trusted, the nose was such a one as
many men who want a sign of power on their faces would be glad
enough to own; Bergerac took it as a gift of nature in good part,
and retaliated against any irreverent commentators by showing
how the inhabitants of the moon destroy at birth all small-nosed
infants, having no hope for their future. In his own quarrels he
was prompt enough to point a joke against any antagonist, but he
was not the man to point a sword. Companions, too, who were
so eager to have him as a combatant on their own side, must have
held his prowess in enough respect to cause them to avoid making




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


421


him their antagonist in private battle. For Cyrano himself it was
more than enough to be every man's second.  In a letter to his
most familiar friend, he speaks of the ugly scrawls which he was
constantly receiving from men used to the perpetual handling of
the sword, and says"Though I look like a man bursting with health, I have been
sick for the last three weeks, during which my philosophy has
been at the mercy of gladiators. I have been incessantly a victim
to the tierce and quazrte. (We cannot translate the pul, since we
may not call sword-thrusts tertians and quartans.) I should have
lost all knowledge of paper if it had not been the material on
which challenges are scrawled... I think it would be necessary
for God to perform some miracle, as great as the wish of Caligula,
to bring my battles to an end. If the whole human race were
set up with a single head, and of all the living there remained but
one, there would be still a duel left for me to fight. Truly you were
quite wrong the other day in calling me the first of men, for I
protest, that for a month past, I have been second to everybody.'
The joke is much neater in French:-Je suis le second de tout /c
lonide.
By the references to his philosophy, that was at the mercy of
gladiators, and to his having nearly lost all knowledge of paper,
we are reminded that Cyrano was already acquiring philosophical
ideas, and seeking happiness in literary occupation.  He studied
with great relish the writings of Descartes, who was then living,
and in full possession of his fame. Descartes had in youth
become a soldier for the sake of travel; he was once, like
Bergerac, a student among fighting men, and not the less a
fighting man himself.  The first principle in the philosophy of
Descartes, namely, that no old dictum was to tyrannise over an
argument, but that everything asserted must be proved and proved
afresh, precisely suited Bergerac's ideas; for, as we have seen, he
hated blind subjection to authority. Himself disposed to swear
by nobody-NulV lius addictus Jurare in verba n(agistri was the
familiar line Le Bret quoted to that effect in the description of
his character.  Cyrano used to declare that one literary man fed




422


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


on the knowledge of another, and that he for his part only read
books to detect their larcenies, and pull off their stolen clothes.
Were he a judge, he said, he would deal more severely with a
literary thief than with a highway robber, glory being more
precious than dress, horse, or even gold. If he found anything
new in a book, whatever might be its faults, he never blamed it.
Thus the nature of the starting-point taken by Descartes, and his
own taste for philosophical inquiries, sufficed to place Cyrano in
the foremost rank of the admirers of that famous thinker.
Not only to philosophy, but also to poetry, was the attention
of the young soldier directed. Even while in the camp on active
service he found many hours that he could devote to reading
and to writing. Le Bret says that he has seen him surrounded
by the uproar of the guardroom and the swearing of his fellowtroopers, writing an elegy as quietly as if he were in a cabinet
alone with not a murmur near. Like all young poets-like all
youths who have the ink-fever, and are to turn out literary men,
he began with heroic verse, and in due time broke out with a
five-act tragedy. -This is an eruption of a regular and wholesome
kind-a sort of measles, in fact-which rarely fails to show itself
among young members of the literary family. There are some
men who, as children, have never had the measles, as there are
some authors who have never written tragedies. But in any such
case the disorder may yet break out even in old age, and then
perhaps be very troublesome. In the case of Bergerac it appeared
comparatively late, but was got over in a very favourable manner.
He was fond of the stage, and there is a story of his youthful
licence which shows, not only how much he could presume upon
his personal strength and daring, but with how weak a hand the
law restrained young bloods from outrages against their fellowsubjects. Bergerac for some reason conceived wrath against the
comedian Monfleury-probably he had been displeased with
some of his performances-and he sentenced him to a month's
banishment from the stage. Shortly afterwards Monfleury undertook to enact some part, and Bergerac, who was in the pit, rose
when he appeared, and called to him-" Off, sir, off! if you don't




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


423


wish to be pounded!"  Monfleury made his exit, and abided by
his sentence. He was a fat man. "The rascal." said Bergerac;
"because he is so big round that you can't thrash the whole of
him in a day, he gives himself airs of defiance!"
How redoubtable a young man Bergerac was, is shown by a
story of him told and credited in his own day; given also by
Le Bret, who names half-a-dozen men of note, then living, able to
testify to its truth; though he himself was afraid to confess that
he believed the whole of it. Near the ditch of the gate of Nesle.
a friend of Bergerac's was fallen upon suddenly by a band of a
hundred men armed and disguised. Bergerac flew to the rescue,
and by his single aid put the entire band to rout, killing two of
the assassins, and wounding six. I do not think the tale very
incredible. Rogues, cowardly enough to fall by the hundred on
a man with his mouth shut, are of course cowards enough to fly
by the hundred from a man who shows his teeth.
Against the king's enemies also M. de Bergerac was called upon
to display his prowess, and he earned what were called honourable scars. At the siege of Mousson a musket-ball passed through
his body; and at the siege of Arras, in I640, he was pierced in
the neck. From these wounds he suffered much. By repeated
invitation from his comrades to engage in duelling, his life was
constantly imperilled. He had literary ambition, and no wish to
die. Brave as he was, there was but little hope for him of promotion in the army, because he had no patron; and even if he
had had one, his free humour would have caused him to disdain
those services of overstrained civility by which he could have
retained his favour. He for these reasons gave up the profession
of arms, and devoted himself wholly to study.
It was then that the Marshal de Gassion offered to attach him
to his person, but Cyrano shrank from what was to his mind
a mere offer of bondage. His friends, however, took great pains
to make it clear to him that he could never hope to achieve any
success as a man of letters, if he had not the support of some
grandee who would maintain his cause. It was to oblige his
friends, therefore, that Bergerac, before publishing anything,




424


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


sought a patron at court; and in I653, when he was thirty-three
years old, attached himself to the Duc d'Arpaion, to whom in the
succeeding year he inscribed the first works that he printed-his
tragedy, his comedy, and a few letters.
His life then was already near its close. Madame de Neuvillette, a pious and charitable woman, and a relation of his through
the Berangers, had in a measure created him anew, and taught
him to regard all criminal excess with horror. The libertine was
in his eyes a monster. He became moderate in his eating, and
forswore ragouts. He avoided wine, which he compared-oh, ye
teetotallers!-to arsenic, saying that everything was to be feared
of that poison, in whatever form of preparation it might be presented. He entertained no feeling but one of the highest respect
for women. He took pains to avoid selfishness in the disposal of
his property. All the while he remained a wit and a philosopher,
studying Descartes and revelling in an extravagance of satire. By
the time he had quite purified his life and character, the populace
was fairly brought to the conviction that Cyrano was an atheist.
His independence of opinion had no doubt offended many priests,
and he had taken no pains to secure to himself the defence ofi
patrons. His tragedy, "The Death of Agrippina," being on the
story of Sejanus, represented that conspirator as a contemner of
the gods. This is quite true to fact. Ben Jonson had done the
same. "What excellent fools," cries the Sejanus of Ben Jonson,
"religion makes of men."  Whenever the Sejanus of Bergerac
said anything to that effect, the pit, which after a run of a few
nights had learnt its cue, exclaimed, " Ah, the atheist!"  "Let
us strike!" said Bergerac's Sejanus of an evil omen, " Frappons!
voilh l'hostie!" A tumult arose in the pit-after some nights, be
it remembered-and there were shouts of " Ah, the sinner! Ah,
the atheist! Hear how he speaks about the Holy Sacrament!"
This kind of persecution Bergerac bore with the quietness of
a philosopher. He rejected utterly all vain tradition, whether it
came to him from priest or pedant. The crime of his religion
was, that he allowed no superstition to combine with it. As for
his tragedy, he had no reason to be ashamed of that. He was




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


425


ashamed of nothing but the sins of his youth; and because they
were his one sorrow, he used to apply to himself in those his
latter years the language of Tibullus:"Jam juvenem vides instet cum serior aetas
Maerentem stultos praeteriisse dies."
The clamour of the ignorant did not deprive him of all friends,
for of the multitude that had surrounded him, many remained
true to him till death; and some-chief among whom was Le
Bret-were faithful to his memory and mindful of his credit after
he was gone. Bergerac died of a long illness, caused by a blow
on the head, accidentally inflicted by himself. On his deathbed
he observed that his court patron, the Duke d'Arpaion, in whose
house indeed the fatal accident had happened, had deserted him.
He died in I655, when he was only thirty-five years old.
His " Voyages to the Sun and Moon" were left behind him fit
for publication, as well as a half-satirical, half-philosophical treatise,
called "The History of a Spark," which some thief stole out of
his sick chamber. The faithful Le Bret took charge of his friend's
reputation, published next year the "Voyage to the Moon," and
in i66 the "Voyage to the Sun," finally collecting M. Bergerac's
works into two volumes, in fulfilment of the trust committed to
him by his friend, "to show," as he said, "that M. de Bergerac is
not one of your common dead; that he remains with us, not to
behave like an ugly ghost and frighten honest men, but to cheer us
as he did when living, and to prove himself as full of jollity as ever."
What kind of cheer his works afford I will endeavour now to show.
Bergerac's tragedy, " La Mort d'Agrippine," is upon the story
of Sejanus, and is very regular in form. It preserves the unities
of place and time, having its action in the palace of Tiberius, and
its events spread over not more than four-and-twenty hours. It
is a tragedy containing four principal persons; and according to
the old French custom, which saves trouble in the development
of character by giving to a hero or a heroine a confidential cipher,
to each of Bergerac's four figures there is appended such a cipher,
for the increase of its value. The characters then are-Tiberius,




426


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


with his confidant; Sejanus, with his confidant; Agrippina, widow
of Germanicus, with her confidante; and Livilla (Ben Jonson's
Livia), sister of Germanicus, with her confidante.
The story has of course the same historical foundation, but by
no means the same dramatic development, as the earlier Sejanus
of Ben Jonson. Bergerac's plot is well developed, begets striking
situations, maintains the interest in a most orthodox way, is
written with vigour and originality-nevertheless, the play is far
from  satisfactory.  Its leading character is not Sejanus, but
Agrippina; and Bergerac's conception of Agrippina, meant to be
great, is mean. That is the radical defect which abases the whole
value of the tragedy. She first appears full of a sublime grief for
her husband's fate; the widow of a hero uttering heroic things
and proposing a stern offering to the manes of the dead Germanicus. But her vengeance consists only in trickery. She
allows Sejanus to believe that he may aspire to share a throne
with her, cheats him with words of double meaning, and so lures
him to destruction. In doing this she excites the jealousy of her
sister-in-law, Livilla, who for love of Sejanus has sinned much.
Livilla, who is in the secret of all plots, is at last urged, in a frenzy
of wrath, to become traitress. By opening the eyes of Tiberius,
she precipitates a catastrophe which crushes both her paramour
and Agrippina with a single blow. Agrippina had taken thought
on her own account. She had deluded Sejanus, and had hoped
to cheat Tiberius by falsehood and hypocrisy. When, therefore,
she dies bravely at last, we do not care. We say, "By all means
let her die, for she has not been behaving as a Roman matron
should." Against the hypocrisy of Agrippina even the crimes of
Livilla show to advantage. Hers is a real love, a womanly madness. With all her crimes upon her head, we like her when upon
her madness despair follows, when the ruin of Sejanus makes her
careless of herself, and she replies with a high spirit to the marvel of
Tiberius at her own complicity in the designs she has betrayed"TIBERIUS. Even my son's wife in the plot against me!
LIVILLA. Yes, even I, son's wife and brother's child,
Against thee raised the dagger-against thee,




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


427


My uncle and my father; in one crime
A hundred crimes would have created this
A sin without a name. Thy favourite,
Thy niece, thy cousin, and thy daughter, I,
Bound to thyself by all the ties of blood,
Triumphed in bringing all thy kindred on
To do the murder with a single hand.
My stroke of vengeance was to have profaned
All the degrees of blood relationshipKilled thee in spite of nature as of law.
All who are of thy blood in my revolt
Were to have published how a tyrant finds
In his own house, though but a daughter's there,
His executioner.
My husband I have murdered. A worse deed
I would have done to be no more the wife
Of any son of thine. His wife I was
That in my children I might dominate
Over thy race, and at my will pour out
The blood constrained to filter through my flesh.
At least this lady is plain-spoken, and we like her for that. Lying
is infinitely worse than murder in a hero or a heroine of tragedy.
Altogether Livilla is the most sincere person in the play. Sejanus
cheats her, pretends that he is not indisposed to sacrifice Agrippina
for the satisfaction of her jealousy. Directly afterwards he poohpoohs Terentius, his confidant, who, wondering at such acquiescence, exclaims, upon his idea of sacrificing Agrippina to Livilla,
that, "The victim will be nobler than the god."  Sejanus explains
that he hates Livilla. Poor wicked Livilla! we are bound to pity
her, by all the laws of art. The feature in the character of Sejanus
which has been best expressed by Bergerac is that proud contempt
of the gods which was a part of him.  "Rome," says Terentius
to him"Rome, as thou knowest, is monarchical,
Not long enduring aristocracy.
The Roman eagle finds it hard to mount
Carrying more than one man on her wings.
Respect and fear the thunder of the gods!




428


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


SEJANUS.   It never strikes the earth in winter-time.
I have six months at least to mock the gods in,
After which I will make my peace with heaven.
TERENTIUS. These gods will overturn all your designs.
SEJANUS.   A little incense lifts them up again.
TERENTIUS. Whoso fears themSEJANUS.                    Fears nothing. Bugaboos,
Fancies that we adore we know not why,
Floaters upon the blood of beasts that we strike dead,
Gods that we make, and not gods that make us,
Phantom supporters of our firm estate.
Go, go, Terentius. Who fears them, fears nothing.
TERENTIUS. But did they not exist, this mundane sphereSEJANUS.   Did they exist, could I unscathed stand here?"
So again, when Sejanus has a cruel death before him, A\grippina,
seeing the bold front he offers to it, says" You're proof against so sad a spectacle.
SEJANUS.   It is but death, which moves me not at all.
AGRIPPINA. And this uncertainty of all beyond?
SEJANUS.   Could I be wretched, ceasing to exist?
An hour after my death the vanished soul
Is what it was an hour before my birth."
Presently afterwards he adds, in the same strain" Why with regret say farewell to the day
That we cannot regret when gone away?
By no death-stroke is good or evil brought,For while we live, we live; dead, we are nought."
It was in these passages, by which Bergerac represented the
Roman conspirator as soldat philosophe, that the French public,
led by its priests, saw infidelity. They belong, as it need scarcely
be said, properly to the person by whom they are spoken. Ben
Jonson had to put in the mouth of the same character sentiments
of precisely the same import. One passage of this kind I have
already quoted. In another place the Sejanus of Ben Jonson
asks of some interlocutor, does he



CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


429


"think the gods, like flies,
Are to be taken with the steam of flesh
Or blood diffused about their altars-think
Their power as cheap as I esteem it small?"
He scorns, in another dialogue, "Thy juggling mystery,
religion." He swears in the hour of peril"By you that fools call gods,
When I do fear again, let me be struck
With forked fire and unpitied die.
Who fears is worthy of calamity."
Bergerac's tragedy consisted of well-pointed lines in the rhymed
heroic metre proper to such works in France.  His comedy, "Le
Pedant Joue," was written in prose, and is remarkable as being
the earliest specimen of prose comedy in French literature.
Moliere afterwards wrote many such comedies, and adopted also
another innovation which was in the first instance introduced by
Bergerac-namely, the production upon the stage of a peasant
speaking in his own patois.
"Le Pedant Joue "-Puzzling a Pedant-reminds us by its title
of Cyrano's detestation of all pedantry. Just as Lesage, disgusted
in youth by the villany of the farmers of revenue, made them the
theme of his first comedy, and held them up to scorn in Turcaret,
so Bergerac, vexed in his youth by pedants, held up one of the
class to ridicule in his first comedy as Monsieur Granger, and
exposed him in effigy to a remorseless persecution.  Pedantry
never dies, but the form of it which insulted the understanding of
Bergerac is now so obsolete that, in speaking of this comedy, I
shall not take the trouble to reproduce any of Monsieur Granger's
puerilities of logic and affected modes of speech. He takes an
early opportunity in conversation with a braggart Norman captain
of breaking out into some of these idle rhymes to which I have
already referred, and inflicts on the captain seventy or eighty
lines, all ending in "if." Of Captain Chateaufort, the Norman
Bobadil, a sketch will, I think, be amusing, and I shall dwell
chiefly on his character in speaking of Cyrano's comedy. His




430


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


unrestrained extravagance of boasting now and then steps from
the ridiculous to the sublime.
He appears in the first scene with Monsieur Granger, the
pedant, as one of three suitors for his daughter's hand. As
becomes a candidate for the vacant son-in-lawship, he gives an
account of his family and character. Nature and art, he says,
quarrelled over the creation of him; he therefore created himself
a long time ago, when the gods of Olympus were in a weakened
and divided state. He ate some of them, and imbibed into his
own person their qualities. Possibly, Bergerac really had then in
his mind the doctrine of his countrymen concerning the divine
wafer in the sacrament. If so, the satire was too far-fetched to
be perceived. Presently afterwards Chateaufort claims Diana for
his mother. She said to his mighty father, "You are an Alexander, I am an Amazon; let us produce a plus-quam  Mars,
useful to the human race, who, after carrying death to the four
quarters of the globe, shall found a kingdom on which the sun
never sets." The satire there was obvious enough. To Granger's
doubts as to his fortune, he replies, " I will make of America and
China a courtyard to your house;" but the pedant, who becomes
angry at the captain's impudence, begins to promise him, prihio,
a demonstration, item, an addition of thrashing, hinc, a fracture of
arms, illinc, a subtraction of legs, then such a multiplication of
blows, thumps, kicks, &c., &c., &c., that afterwards the eye of a
sphinx could not find wherewith to make further division of his
miserable atoms. Finally, however, Granger engages the captain
to commence hostilities against La Tremblaye, another of the
suitors. For, as he reflects to himself, he has but one daughter,
and is offered three sons-in-law; one of them says that he is
brave, but Monsieur Granger knows the contrary; another says
that he is rich, but Monsieur Granger cannot tell; another says
that he has gentle blood, but Monsieur Granger only knows that
he has a very hungry stomach.
It next appears that the pedant is himself in love, and that his
own son is his rival. He proposes to get his son out of the way
by sending him to Venice; but the son is obstinate, and will not




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.                  431
go. An amusing scene between father and son follows, in which
the son is denounced as mad whenever he expresses his resolve
to stop at home, and flattered as a model of discretion whenever
he is terrified into a consent to go abroad. The youth's purpose
and the father's mood vary together. In the next place, however,
we discover that the young man is aided by the wit of one of
those roguish serving-men who are well known to all readers of
comedy. This genius, named Corbinelli, advises his master to
set out as if for Venice, and himself presently returns to the
pedant with shocking news of his son's capture by Turkish pirates
on their way by water to St. Cloud. They went on board the
Turkish galley when they had scarcely left the coast, and the
young man was immediately made a prisoner. Monsieur Granger
is cajoled out of money for his ransom. Nothing could be more
extravagant, and nothing merrier, than this whole scene, which is
one of those taken by Moliere and introduced into the " Fourberies
de Scapin." In that place it has become famous, and through
that channel the pedant's frequently recurring expostulationQzie diable allais tui faire dans cette galore —has passed into a
proverb. Que dzable aller fazei aussi dans la galere d'un Turc?
D'zu  Turc!  Quze diable allais te faire dans cette galre?  The
only revenge taken by the old man on Corbinelli, who affects a
dread lest the Turks should devour him when he goes back with
the money, is to assure him that, being Mussulmans, they don't
eat pigs. The old man's purse is, of course, taken into the
hostile camp, which is the house of the lady to whose hand he
and his son aspire.
But the unlucky pedant is exposed to a great many more
perplexities. The three suitors for his daughter vex him sadly.
Upon the suitor who claims to be rich, and who is a peasant with
a peasant's tongue and fist, the Captain Chateaufort falls by mischance, and very soon the peasant's staff falls on the captain's
shoulders. "I have fought in my life," brags the captain, while
his back still aches, "I have fought seventy thousand combats,
and always killed my adversary, without leaving him time for
confession. I am heart all over, you can wound me nowhere




432


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


without killing me." (Thump goes the stick again, and thump,
thump, thump. I give not the words, but the substance of the
captain's running comment.) "I cannot tell, young man, why it
is that I feel drawn towards you with so much affection. Either
you are my own son, or you exercise a charm over my mind because
you have a devil. If you be my son, Heaven forbid that I should
slay you; if you be a demoniac, you are not answerable for your
actions. Heaven forbid that I should call you to account."
(Thump, thump.) "For my wrath, young man, is terrible. It is
a national calamity. I have waved my hat, and sunk fleets with
the wind of it. Do you desire to know how many I have killed?
Set down a 9, and put as many grains of sand after it as all
deserts and seas contain, turn them to noughts, and there you
have the number of my slain." (Thump, thump, thump, thump.)
"I cannot tell how it is, but I am resolved now to be beaten.
But I find it difficult, let me tell you, to restrain my rage. I
must take care to put a guard upon myself. I will procure two
constables to walk with me, and see that I am not again beaten,
lest, being struck, my wrath be awakened and a disaster happen;
for when I am angry it is hard to tell what I may do. I am a
man to blow the sun out like a candle."
The peasant with the ready hand has next an interview with
the pedant, who at first pays great deference to him on account
of the extent of real and personal estate which he claims to
possess. The countryman is honest in his self-assertion; but as it
finally becomes apparent, through much obfuscation and bewilderment, caused by his anything but pedantic mode of speech, that
his estimate of wealth is rather different to that common among
inhabitants of towns, Monsieur Granger sends him away unceremoniously without his dinner.
The pedant then takes thought on behalf of his own courtship,
and sends his man, Paquier, who is as simple as the son's man is
sharp, to Genevote; that is the name of the young lady who has
at her feet both son and father. Paquier is to take a loving
message, of which the purport is to appoint an interview, and he
is especially charged, in discoursing about his master, to speak as




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


433


of a lover, and talk only about fire, and flames, and cinders. The
man does his bidding very literally. Genevote affects great tenderness towards Monsieur Granger; Paquier represents him as a
man half-roasted and grimy through constant sitting with his nose
over the fire. Genevote speaks of the pedant fondly; Paquier
takes pains to bring her discourse to the right topic, and asks
after her winter stock of fagots; for his master, he assures her,
will want plenty of fire. The confusion, and with it the fun of
the scene, heightens. Paquier has stuck to his point, but is beginning to fail for want of matter, when he remembers suddenly
the fire of St. Elmo. The lady asks questions about the gentleman, which Paquier sets aside, because it suddenly occurs to him
to ask about the forthcoming St. John's fires, and whether Mademoiselle Genevote will take part in the festivities connected with
them. She abides by M. Granger for her topic, bids the man go
and say she burns for him, Paquier brightens up; she has come
to the point at last, and on he goes with spirit: "Yes, and as I
have heard master say, there are three fires in the world, madame;
the first central, the second vital, the third elemental. The first
fire has three subsidiary fires, differing only by accidents-the
fire of collision, the fire of attraction, and the fire of position."
Paquier, who is resolved to be a good friend to his master, next
hauls into discourse a wild fire that he had seen once dancing on
the moor. At his wits'-end, he is reduced to wishing Genevote
St. Anthony's fire, and then cries to himself in despair, Where the
devil can another fire be found?  After a little beating of his
brains, he returns to the charge with, Feu votre pere et feu votre
mere, avaient-ils fort aime fet leurs parens? and more in the same
vein.
Monsieur Granger, however, understands that he is to have an
interview with Genevote, and has it. The lady worries him much,
and tells him-with many a ha, ha, ha, and hi, hi, hi-of the
tricks that have been played upon him. Here again Moliere
has found the scene good, and annexed the greater part of it,
which stands almost unaltered, except as regards the names of the
speakers, as the third scene of the third act of the "Fourberies de
2E




434


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


Scapin." The scene ends, according to Bergerac, with a mischiefmeaning assignation. Genevote is sister to La Tremblaye, the
gentle swain to Granger's daughter. While the pedant is abroad
haunting the doors of Genevote, La Tremblaye is to run off with
Mademoiselle Granger, and marry her. So ends the third act of
the comedy.
The scene of the next act is before the lady's window, in the
road, at night. The pedant is there playing Romeo, and his man
Paquier is there, with a ladder, to assist his love. A great deal
of burlesque pantomime work is contrived with the ladder, master
and man being fooled in the dark by Corbinelli. Corbinelli is
then seen approachihg the house-door.  "What is that?" says
the pedant. "Look yonder " says Paquier. "'Tis your soul;
you gave it yesterday to Mademoiselle Genevote. Not being
yours, it has left you."  "Speak!" Granger cries; "who art
thou?" Corbinelli answers, in a mighty speech, that he is the
great devil Vauvert, who has done this, who has done that, who
has done the other thing, reciting an enormous catalogue of horrid
exploits. "This devil," Paquier observes, when he has finished
speaking, "hasn't lived with his hands in his pockets."  "What
do you augur from this?" asks his master. "I augur," says
Paquier, " it's a she devil, it is so full of talk."
La Tremblaye, as if alarmed by the noise outside, enters then
against M. Granger, crying " Thieves!" and Chateaufort makes
his appearance; but is unable to assist the father of his mistress
in this great extremity, or use his sword, "made of a leg of the
scissors of Atropos," because he submits to be taken prisoner
by La Tremblaye, at the request of the universe. Then enters
Manon, the pedant's daughter, professing that from  her own
chamber she has heard the cries that told her of her father's
danger.  "Ah! M. de la Tremblaye," she cries, "spare my
father, and accept me as his ransom. I was waiting for him in
the college, when I heard the disturbance in the street."  " But,"
says M. Granger, "I am not to be tricked in that way, mademoiselle. You shall not marry this man, I forbid it."  "Ah!
Monsieur tie la Tremblaye," Manon weeps; "my poor dear




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


435


father, I see by your eyes that you are going to kill him." In this
manner Granger is at last brought to consent that La Tremblaye
shall have his daughter, upon condition of his own marriage with
Genevote, La Tremblaye's sister. Chateaufort then contrives to
provoke a few more blows, and as they fall he counts them. He
gets twelve. "Ah, twelve!" he says, "now that is fortunate; I
was under a vow to bear as far as twelve, if you had struck me
a thirteenth time I should have been constrained to kill you."
Instantly he receives the thirteenth blow in the shape of a kick
that floors him. "Well!" he says, "I was just going to lie
down."
Monsieur Granger having arranged, as he thinks, a speedy
marriage with Genevote, becomes a little anxious on the subject
of his son and rival. He therefore bribes Corbinelli to keep him
effectually out of the way by making him drunk at a cabaret, and
maintaining him in that state until his father's wedding shall be
over. Upon this foundation a new scheme is built by Corbinelli
for the advantage of the lovers. His master is to feign death.
Corbinelli will go in despair to Granger, saying that he had performed his bidding only too well, for that his young master had,
alas! met with his death in a drunken quarrel. Genevote is then
to be in distress, and reveal to the pedant that she had once made
a vow to the young man to marry him alive or dead. All bar to
the old man's hopes being removed, at least she might entreat the
melancholy satisfaction of having fulfilled her vow to his son
by going through a form of marriage with his corpse. Granger
would consent easily to so conscientious a desire; Genevote
would be married to the body of her lover, which would then
get up and be thankful. Paquier, coming to the bottom of this
scheme, reveals it to the pedant, and so the fourth act ends.
In the last act Corbinelli comes to the pedant with his story,
bringing, as we should say, coals to Newcastle-as M. Granger
tells him, "shells to the pilgrim." The old man exults, and the
young people are in a sad perplexity. Corbinelli constructs then
a new battery and opens fire. Everybody becomes complaisant.
Monsieur Granger is in the right, and of course he must marry




436


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


Genevote, and there shall be festivities, there must be fun in the
house, and they will act a play. By all means a play. Arrangements are then made for private theatricals, which are so contrived
as to be an amusing satire on the public stage, and the performers
generally of Bergerac's time. Captain Chateaufort and the other
dramais personce apply at the door for admission as spectators.
The captain contributes nothing.  "I give enough," he tells
Paquier, who is constituted porter for the occasion, " I give
enough in taking away nothing. I do immense good when I do
no harm." Author of the piece, as well as stage-manager and
prompter, is Corbinelli. M. Granger has an easy part assigned
to him.  It is to sit in a chair, and take care not to speak a
word. He represents a cruel father. Genevote is a fair lady,
and the pedant's son makes love to her. Granger finds his path
by no means easy. He needs perpetual reminding that a comedy
is not the business of life; that everything done in a play is makebelieve. In a little time he has become so very much impressed
with the fact that he is engaged in private theatricals, that he puts
out the players by his blunders, and spoils the amusement of his
friends.  He is ashamed of the frequent admonitions of the
prompter, and when a man is introduced dressed as a notary, and
the distressed lovers sign a document, which Corbinelli says must
be supposed to be their marriage contract, and it is brought to
Granger in his chair, and as he is told that it is in his part, as the
father who proves generous at bottom, to countersign the supposed document, he writes his name where he is told to write it.
Very soon afterwards he discovers that the notary is a real notary,
the contract a real contract, and that his son has, with his own
assent, been marrying Genevote before his, face. That is the last
trick played upon the pedant, and with it the comedy of "Le
Pedant Jou " ends.
From this very brief outline it may, perhaps, be seen that
Bergerac's comedy does not lack vigour and vivacity. It exactly
hit the manners of his day, was full of bustle and good fun, which
must have provoked incessant laughter. The military braggart
of those times, depicted by so many dramatists, is now a character




CYRANO BE BERGERAC.


437


entirely obsolete, and college pedantry now furnishes less manifest
material for ridicule. Affectations of speech run in a new channel;
we have outgrown the years when it was the conceit and pedantry
of lovers to discourse to their mistresses of flames and cinders.
In his own time, Bergerac's satire was well pointed and well
aimed; his wit was genuine, and still has its effect; the exuberance of life in him still can enliven those who read his works.
The plot of the "Pe(iant Joue" is extravagant, and so are many
of its scenes; but if the extravagance was mirthful, it was accounted
no demerit on the stage for which he wrote. From wandering
farce actors, who played the pieces of Monchretien or Balthazar
Baro, purchased of their authors at ten crowns a-piece, the
Comic Muse of France had only then begun her appeal to better
tastes. It was not till about the year I630 that Pierre Corneille
produced comedies in verse which were " legitimate" productions,
if not very good. Bergerac's comedy was the first that appeared
in prose. It is the oldest play in its department of French drama,
and what Boileau calls the burlesque audace of Bergerac is scarcely
more manifest in that than in some of the maturest works of
Moliere. What is there in the "Pedant Jou6" more absurd (or
more amusing) than the conversion of M. Jourdain into a Mamamouchi, or the very last scene Moliere enacted, the admission of
Argan to the Faculty of Physic? Let this also be remembered:
Moliere and Bergerac were both born in the same year, I620.
Bergerac died at the age of thirty-five.  Had Moliere died at the
same time, Bergerac would have survived as the greater man of
the two, for Moliere had then written only two verse comedies
not of his best, " L'Etourdi" and " Le Depit Amoureux."  Far
better than either is that third work by Bergerac, "The Account
of a Voyage to the Moon," which is said to have influenced Swift
in the writing of his " Gulliver," and by which the wits of other
men of note seem to have been stimulated. Appended to it was
a second " History of Travels in the Sun," by the same author,
and both were, after a short time (in 1687), translated into English by A. Lovell, Master of Arts.
Though itself aiding in the production of other works of a




438


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


like kind, I think it pretty certain that Bergerac's "Journey to
the Moon" never would have been made if Lucian had never
visited the empire of Endymion, and fought on his side with
Hippogriphs against Phaeton and his Nephelocentaurs. Had
Lucian not woven an extravagant tissue of impossibilities to
ridicule the tales of travels told by Ctesias of Cnidos, and
the account given of the Great Sea by Iambulus, Bergerac's
pleasant satire probably would never have appeared. But the
extravagance of Bergerac meant more than a burlesque on the
extravagant. His work was what Lucian's is not, and Swift's is
-a comprehensive satire on the men and manners of his time.
Herein lies its chief merit and interest. It is interesting also for
the large admixture of serious philosophy, in the shape of
sound astronomical information and much reasoning drawn from
Descartes, which it seems to have been Cyrano's wish to popularise
by introducing it in an amusing way among amusing matter.
The satire, too, in its most extravagant flights has often so wise
a thoughtfulness to nerve its wing, that the reader of the book,
however much he may be made to laugh, soon feels it to be
anything but a trifler by whom he is addressed. A short notice
of this book must end the account of Bergerac.
Designing, if possible, to reach the sun by encasing himself in
bottles of dew, and rising as the dew was drawn up by the sunbeams, Cyrano tried the experiment, but through the bursting of
some of his bottles and other accidents, he came to earth again.
He fell, however, at a great distance from home, in New France
or Canada. Hurt by his fall, he was nursed at the governor's
house, and had talk with the governor on many things, and
among others on the doctrine of the earth's movement. The
governor cited to him the opinion of a learned father, who
believed that the earth moves, but not for the reason given by
Copernicus; but-I quote Lovell's translation when I quote at
all —" because hell-fire being shut up in the centre of the earth,
the damned, who make a great bustle to avoid its flames, scramble
up to the vault as far as they can from them, and so make the
earth to turn, as a turnspit makes the wheel go round when




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


439


he runs about." Bergerac, it should be said, was not afraid of
mother church, for, said he, " there can be no harm in offending
the Pope, he is so full of indulgences."
Not forgetful of his desire to mount, Bergerac made a flying
machine in Canada, and started with it, but soon fell to the
ground, and was sorely bruised. His bruises were anointed with
marrow, and he tried his machine again one night, aiding its
ascent by jets of fireworks fastened about its circumference.
The machine again proved unfortunate, but when it fell Bergerac was surprised to find that he continued rising. The
reason of this was that the moon was then on the wane, and it
is usual for her when in that quarter to suck up the marrow of
animals. Bergerac, therefore, being covered with marrow, rose.
When about three-quarters of the way were completed, he ceased
rising, and began to fall, but he still fell towards the moon, by
whose mass, it being smaller than the earth, he had not before
been acted upon so as to feel the full force of its centre. He
first saw in the moon a mortal, who explained how he had risen
by the use of a magnetic bowl. Presently he was found by the
natives, who are men walking on all fours, and taken by them
into their chief town.
" Then (he says) when the people saw that I was so little (for
most of them are twelve cubits long), and that I walked only
upon two legs, they could not believe me to be a man; for
they were of opinion that nature having given to men as well as
beasts two legs and two arms, they should make use of both of
them alike. And, indeed, reflecting upon that since, that situation of the body did not seem to me altogether extravagant,
when I called to mind, that whilst children are still under the
nurture of nature they go upon all four, and that they rise not on
their two legs but by the care of their nurses, who set them on
little running chairs, and fasten straps to them, to hinder them
from falling on all fours, as the only posture that the shape of
our body naturally inclines to rest in. They said then, as I had
it interpreted to me since, that I was infallibly the female of the
queen's little animal; and therefore, as such, or somewhat else,




440


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


I was carried straight to the town-house, where I observed by the
muttering and gestures both of the people and magistrates, that
they were consulting what sort of a thing I could be."
In this situation Bergerac had many experiences, and one
visitor, from whom he learnt much, proved to be no less a personage than the daemon of Socrates, who gave him a satirical sketch
of his own history; and as to his living in the moon, added,
"that which makes me to continue here is because the men are
great lovers of truth; have no pedants among them; that the
philosophers are never persuaded but by reason, and that the
authority of a doctor, or of a great number, is not preferred before
the opinion of a thresher in a barn, if he has right on his side.
In short, none are reckoned madmen in this country but sophisters
and orators." Having escaped from his showman by aid of the
friendly daemon, Bergerac saw more at large what life was in the
moon. Among other things he found that it was inhabited by a
spiritual people, living much, not upon gross flesh, but upon the
steams arising from cooked food. This is the only idea directly
taken from the account of Lucian. "The men in the moon,"
Lucian wrote, "kindle a fire, and then broil frogs upon the coals,
which in that country fly in vast numbers in the air, and when
they are broiled enough, they sit about a table, and licking the
smoke or steam that comes from them, they think they dine like
princes. And this is the food that nourishes them." Bergerac,
asking for more solid fare, was taken early the next morning to
the innkeeper's garden, where the larks were fired at, and fell
ready roasted. For those people know how to mingle with their
powder and shot a composition that kills, plucks, roasts, and
seasons the fowls all at once. When the time came for departure,
Bergerac's guide, who was the daemon in the body of a man of
the moon, paid their scot in verse, the money of the country.
For their supper, bed, and breakfast, the charge was three
couplets, equal to six verses. They might live well, the daemon
explained, since a week's pampering of their appetites would not
cost a sonnet. and he had four about him, besides two epigrams,
two odes, and an eclogue.




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


441


"'Would to God,' said I (Bergerac goes on), 'would to God,'
said I, 'it were so in our world; for I know a good many honest
poets there, who are ready to starve, and who might live plentifully if that money would pass in payment.' I farther asked him,
'If those verses would always serve if one transcribed them.' He
made answer, 'No,' and so went on-' When an author has composed any, he carries them to the mint, where the sworn poets of
the kingdom sit in court. There these versifying officers assay
the pieces, and if they be judged sterling, they are rated not
according to their coin-that's to say, that a sonnet is not always
good as a sonnet-but according to the intrinsic value of the
piece. So that, if any one starve he must be a blockhead, for
men of wit make always good cheer."'
Being soon afterwards captured and associated with the queen's
litei, animal, of which he had heard so much, Bergerac found the
creature-to be a Spaniard, who had by some means reached the
moon, and who was kept as a curiosity, together with the queen's
birds and an ape in a Spanish dress. The two prisoners were able
to converse in the Latin language upon questions of philosophy;
and as it became apparent that they were not mates, a question
arose among the learned men of the moon as to what these little
creatures were. Either the), were wild men or they were birds.
The latter theory being made probable by their hopping on two
legs, while there was much to urge against the other notion,
Bergerac was put by himself into a cage, and the queen's birdkeeper came daily to teach him to whistle.
In time he learned more than whistling, he acquired the language of the moon. In learning it he was aided by a queen's
chambermaid, who used to visit his cage much, and whose pit
bird especially he was. As soon as he could talk there was fresh
marvelling; and he showed much wit, and won so greatly upon
visitors, as to make it necessary that an edict should be issued.
letting all people know that what he said was not done through
reason, but, let it be done never so wittily, through instinct alone.
Nevertheless doubts arose, and a convention of the learned was
assembled to decide whether the strange bird was indeed a




442


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


reasonable being. He was brought before the court, and being
questioned on philosophy, held closely to his Aristotle. He was
declared to be a kind of ostrich, which is a very stupid bird, and
sent back to his cage. The friendly demon always visited him
there, and told him many things. For example, he was told that
in case of war arising between two states in the moon, care is
taken for the even matching of the troops on either side, in order
that those who are physically strong may not oppress the weak,
but that the contest may be one of spirit and of valour only.
They also in time of war decide the fate of empires often by the
conferences of learned, witty, and judicious men, holding one
victory by force of argument to be worth three by force of arms.
Another investigation of Bergerac's case being demanded, he was
re-examined, but as he abided by his old philosophy and his old
account of himself, it was again held that he was a bird, perhaps
a parrot. But if he was an accountable creature, as he wished to
be considered, he was liable to heavy penalties, and to these he
was indeed afterwards condemned; for, on his continual assertion
that he came from a world which was their moon, and that their
world was his moon, it was resolved that he who thus taught
heretically that the moon was a world and the world a moon,
should be reputed a man, and condemned to punishment or
retractation, "because of the scandal that the novelty of that
opinion might give to weak brethren." He was saved only by
the interposition of the demon.
Soon afterwards Bergerac was taken to sup in company with
some philosophers, with whom he conversed at large, and among
whom he observed the great respect and deference paid by the
old to the young. In justification of this custom, an admirable
ex par/s case is made out against the claim of old men to superiority of wisdom. Bergerac knew that it would give offence, but
he said, they who are old have once been young, "therefore by
repeating these things I have obliged all men, and only disobliged
but half."  He saw an old man quit the supper table (it was a
supper of steams sent up from the kitchen), and found that he
retired to sup apart, being opposed to the wanton cruelty of




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


443


vegetable diet. He was one who considered it less sinful to
massacre a man than to cut and kill a cabbage, because one day
the man will live again, but the cabbage has no other life to hope
for. By putting to death a cabbage, you annihilate it; by killing
a man, you only make him change his habitation.
The daemon of Socrates then said to Bergerac:"Knowing that in your world the government of health is too
much neglected, I will tell you something of the care we here
take of our lives. In all houses there is a physiognomist entertained by the public, who in some manner resembles your
physicians, save that he prescribes only to the healthful; and
judges of the different manner how we are to be treated, only
according to the proper figure and symmetry of our members;
by the features of the face, the complexion, the softness of the
skin, the agility of the body, the sound of the voice, and the
colour, strength, and hardness of the hair. Did you not just
now mind a man of a pretty low stature who eyed you? He
was the physiognomist of the house; assure yourself that according as he has observed your constitution, he hath diversified the
exhalations of your supper. Mark the quilt on which you lie,
how distant it is from our couches. Without doubt he judged
your constitution to be far different from ours, since he feared that
the odour which escapes from these little pipkins that stand under
our noses might reach you, or that yours might steam to us. At
night the flowers upon which you sleep will be, no doubt, chosen
with like circumspection."
Another of Bergerac's ideas concerning wholesomeness arises
out of his surprise, one day when out for a walk, at hearing of
some malefactor condemned to die in his bed, and then be put
into a hole in the earth, followed by a hundred and fifty men in
black, mocking his remains with a burlesque of sorrow. This
surprised the stranger, who had been accustomed to believe no
end more desirable. In the moon, he was told, the dead bodies
are all burnt, except only those of malefactors, which are doomed
to be crawled over by worms, and left to the discretion of toads,
which feed on their cheeks. This happens after they have been




444


CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


ignominiously laid in a pit, and had a pike's depth of earth thrown
over their mouths. "But," said Bergerac, "we call that honourable burial."  "Honourable," cried they of the moon:-" the
plague clothed in the body of a man!"
Presently follows this account of the last days of an inhabitant
of the moon, who is mortally sick:"Every one embraces him, and when it comes to his turn
whom he loves best, having kissed him, affectionately leaning
upon his bosom, and joining mouth to mouth, with his right hand
he sheathes a dagger in his heart. The loving friend parts not
his lips from his friend's lips till he finds him expired; and then
pulling out the steel, and putting his mouth close to the wound,
he sucks his blood, till a second succeeds him, then a third,
fourth, and so on all the company."
They then fill the house with enjoyment, and during three or
four days, whilst they are tasting the pleasures of love, they feed
on nothing but the flesh of the deceased.
"I interrupted this discourse (continues Bergerac), saying to
him that told me all, that this manner of acting much resembled
the ways of some people of our world, and so pursued my walk,
which was so long, that when I came back, dinner had been
ready two hours."
He was asked by his hosts, on being so late, why he had not
ascertained how the time was going. He had endeavoured to do
so, he replied, and had inquired the time of a vast number of
people, but they did no more than hold up their heads and show
their teeth at him. He was informed then that his question had
in each case been answered, for that by turning his face up to the
sun, any person in the moon could convert his well-proportioned
nose into the gnomon of a sun-dial, and that to such a dial the
teeth served as a convenient row of figures. Bergerac had only
in each case to observe upon which tooth the shadow of the nose
fell, to get a perfect answer to his question.
At this time Bergerac entertained serious thoughts of a return
to earth, by help of his friendly daemon, from whom he received,
as parting gifts, two books-one of them containing the Histories




CYRANO DE BERGERAC.


445


of the Sun and of a Spark; the purpose of the other was to prove
that everything is true, that black is white, that nothing is something, and that what is is not,- without the use of any captious or
sophistical argument.  These books were executed after the
manner usual in the moon, so as to address themselves to the
ears, not to the eyes. Each was composed of cunningly contrived
machinery, with springs and wheels, so that whoever desired to
be informed by it had only to wind it up, and turn the hand to
whatever chapter he might wish to read. Their books being
made in this way, children in the moon can read as soon as they
can speak, and the machinery is so small, and enclosed in cases
so elegant-one in diamond, another in pearl-that a traveller
may hang books to his ears as pendants, and so he who runs
may read.
In good time the adventurous traveller did safely return to
earth. At first, as he came down, he could distinguish the two
continents, Europe and Africa; then he observed a volcano, and
perceived a strong odour of brimstone; then he fell into the
midst of briers on the side of a hill, where he was seen presently
by shepherds who spoke Italian. Little heed was paid to him by
these people, but he was barked at violently by their dogs, and
until he had aired his clothes he excited a great barking of dogs
wherever he appeared; for those animals, being used to bay the
moon, smelt that he came thence.
H. M.


PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE, HANSON AND CO.
EDINBURGH AND LONDON.




I




MORLEY'S         UNIYERSAL           LIBRARY.
ComZplete in Sixty- Three Voluzmes, ONE SHILLING each, clot/,
cut edges; or is. 6d. ParAchnent Back. uncut edges.
I. SHERIDAN'S PLAYS.
2. PLAYS FROM MOLIERE. By ENGLISH DRAMATISTS.
3. MARLOWE'S FAUSTUS AND GOETHE'S FAUST.
4. CHRONICLE OF THE CID.
5. RABELAIS' GARGANTUA, AND THE HEROIC DEEDS OF PANTAGRUEL.
6. THE PRINCE. By MACHIAVELLI.
7. BACON'S ESSAYS.
8. DEFOE'S JOURNAL OF THE PLAGUE YEAR.
9.LOCKE ON CIVIL GOVERNMENT; with SIR ROBERT FILMER'S
PATRIARCHA.
o1. BUTLER'S ANALOGY OF RELIGION.
I. DRYDEN'S VIRGIL.
I2. SIR WALTER SCOTT'S DEMONOLOGY AND WITCHCRAFT.
I3. HERRICK'S HESPERIDES.
14. COLERIDGE'S TABLE-TALK; with THE ANCIENT MARINER AND
CHRISTABEL.
15. BOCCACCIO'S DECAMERON.
16. STERNE'S TRISTRAM SHANDY.
I7. HOMER'S ILIAD. Translated by GEORGE CHAPMAN.
IS. MEDIAVAL TALES.
I9. JOHNSON'S RASSELAS; and VOLTAIRE'S CANDIDE.
20. PLAYS AND POEMS. By BEN JONSON.
21. HOBBES'S LEVIATHAN.
22. BUTLER'S HUDIBRAS.
23. IDEAL COMMONWEALTHS; MORE'S UTOPIA; BACON'S NEW
ATLANTIS; and CAMPANELLA'S CITY OF THE SUN.
24. CAVENDISH'S LIFE OF WOLSEY.
25 & 26. DON QUIXOTE (Two Volumes).
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28. DANTE'S DIVINE COMEDY. LONGFELLOW'S Translation.
29. GOLDSMITH'S VICAR OF WAKEFIELD, PLAYS, AND POEMS.
30. FABLES AND PROVERBS FROM THE SANSKRIT.
31. CHARLES LAMB'S ESSAYS OF ELIA




FMORLEY S UNIYERSAL LIBRARY- continued.
32. THE HISTORY OF THOMAS ELLWOOD. Written by Himself.
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AND SOLITUDE.
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35. DE QUINCEY'S OPIUM-EATER, SHAKSPEARE, GOETHE.
36. STORIES OF IRELAND. By MARIA EDGEWORTH.
37. THE PLAYS OF ARISTOPHANES. Translated by FRERE.
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39. THOMAS A KEMPIS' IMITATION OF CHRIST.
40. POPULAR SONGS OF IRELAND. Collected by THOMAS CROFT' N
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41. THE PLAYS OF AESCHYLUS. Translated by R. POTTER.
42. GOETHE'S FAUST. The Second Part.
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44. SOPHOCLES. Translated by FRANCKLIN.
45. TALES OF TERROR AND WONDER.
46. VESTIGES OF THE NATURAL HISTORY OF CREATION.
47. THE BARONS' WARS, &c. By MICHAEL DRAYTON.
48. COBBETT'S ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN.
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53. HARRINGTON'S OCEANA.
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57. HOOKER'S ECCLESIASTICAL POLITY. Books I.-IV.
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LONDON, GLASGOW, MANCHESTER, AND NEW YORK.








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