lUJ aid in breaking and entering the hounds so surreptitiously ob- tained, and our master giving his own personal superintendence to every department of the kennel, he did not care more about character than a groom generally does when he engages a helper. Knowledge of their business, with lightness of weight, were Facey's principal requirements ; and as most men out of place are light, and summer is the season for choice, he soon had plenty of applicants — some with whole bones, some with broken ; some with teeth, some without, some with a few scattered here and there. They were all most willing to work ; no a§king who did this or that, or inquiring how many suits of clothes Mr. Romford allowed in a year. Fancy old Facey giving' 60 MR. FACEY liOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. his servants what he didn't aUow himself, lie had so many remnants of humanity to choose from, that he scarcely knew which to select. Now he thought Joe Harford, late of the Blazers, whose face was his character, would do ; then Harry, late of the Beckingham Bruisers, superseded Joe, and was in turn eclipsed by the hard riding — too hard-riding Rat from the Cheshire. Just us he was closing with the Rat, who, as Facey said, seemed as light as a bladder, up came the residuum of that hard-bitten, hard-drinking creature Daniel Swig. Daniel, clad in three waist- coats, and no coat, the outer waistcoat worn open, like a spencer, a pair of very critical-looking cords, and dirty leather leggings, with sadly patched shoes. Daniel had lived with the great Lord Scamperdale, who had put up with his nonsense so long that he thought his Lordship would stand him for ever, and now, finding his mistake, he could never sufficiently atone for his faults by airing his Lordship's name on all drunken occasions. He seemed to think it a perfect talisman against mischief, and would go hallooing out " Mind ! Fni Daniel ! I'm the Right Honourable the Hurl of Scamperdale's Daniel ! " as if it would be perfect high treason to meddle Avith such a man as Daniel. Facey knew Daniel, and also that he knew his business, so he threw the Rat over (Avho had but one eye), and installed Daniel instead. He soon picked up a match for him in the forlorn figure of little Tom Chowey. Who doesn't know little Tom Chowey? — Chowey, the man with the india-rubbcr-ball-like mouth ? — Chowey, the mildest-mannered, civilest-spoken, most drunken little dog in the kingdom? Chowey has been with half the hunts going, thus forming a large acquain- tance, and so enabling him to earn a precarious livelihood when out of place, by touching his hat, and re-introducing himself to itinerant sportsmen, or gentlemen down Tattersall's yard, " Re- members your Lordship when I lived with the Crammers," with a saw of the air with his arm. "Caught your 'oss. Sir Harry, when you got that juice of a fall with the Varickshire " (" juice " being the nearest approach to an oath that Chowey ever indulges in). " Was out, Mr. Crasher, when you swam the Lune on Lehander," and so on. A horsey scamp will generally get a shilling out of a sports- man, while a combey or a staylacey one would plead in vain. The most remarkable part of Chowey, however, was his mouth. This, as we said before, was like an india-rubber ball, and once seen could never be forgotten. In repose it was like the neck of the ball tied ; when, however, the owner was excited — say, by the sight of a fox — it gaped again, just like one of the Dutch toys into whose mouth children try to chuck balls. When he screwed it up, it looked like the incipient trunk of an elephant. The whole of MB. FACEY KOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 61 the lower part of his face seemed to converge to that feature. lb was a most remarkable one. i.^.,.;,.,. Swio- with his three waistcoats on, was a few pomicls heaMei than Chowey, the two together weighing less than friend Facey They were a lean as latirs, just like so many feet of galvamzed DANIFX SWIO AND TuM CHOWEV— THE WIIU PZRS-IN". o-ristle. Both had piercing grey eyes that roved in all directions, fike Daniel Forester^s on dividend days. Then' ages might he anythino-— anything" between thirty and sixty. Swig s wardrobe went int'o a httle vahse that swung in the air as hght as a pen- case, while Chowey carried his in the crown of an extinguishing bell-shaped hat. These two geniuses, Romford, after due delibera- tion and much cautioning, at length engaged, and having paid their third-class fares by the Parliamentary tram, and giving 6^^ MB. FACEY B03IF0BD'S HOUNDS. them each a penny roll and sixpence a-piece, sent them off to Minshnll Yernon, thinking they conld not do much harm till he came. And like a majestic master as he now began to be, he followed next day with his newly-acquired horses. CHAPTER XIY. CUB IIUXTING. HAVixa already intimated that Mr. Romford did not stay very long with the Heavyside Hunt, and not having Brown, Jones, and Robinson in the field, the reader will not expect us to dilate much on the peculiarities of the country, or to tell who gave Mr. Romford " white bread "Who gave him bivjwn ; AVho gaA'c him plum cake And sent him out of town ; "' but would doubtless rather that we trotted on with our story to the more permanent scene of his great sporting career. To this end, therefore, we shall be very brief, merely observing that he got through his summer very comfortably, fishing where he liked, shooting where he liked, and, generally speaking, doing pretty much what he liked. The harvest was early, the corn was cut and carried in good order, and he satisfied himself that the litters of foxes were both numerous and strong. He had heard nothing of Jog or his check ; nothing of Mr. Holmside, the treasurer of the 8tir-it-Stiff Poor ]jaw Union ; nothing of Mr. Nathan Levy and his rent ; and nothing of Mr. Soapey Sponge, either about his shop or his wife. Altogether, Mr. Romford felt like a new^ man — like the Turbot on its tail himself. If he ever thought of Oncle Gilroy, it was only to bless the day on which he stared into Wilkinson and Kidd's shop window, and was insti- gated to become a master of fox-hounds. Thanks to the generosity of his brother masters, or the gullibility of their huntsmen, he had now a most promising entry of hounds. If they were only as good as they looked, thought he, they would indeed be hard to beat. And he would stand by the hour in the kennel, criticising their shape and their make, incontinently culling samples of his beard, until he was actually sore with the operation. And as the glad day approached for trying the pack, he was more and more MB. FACEY ROMFOBD'S HOUXDS. 63 in the kennel, until lie seemed absolutely to beoTucJo-e himself his necessary rest and relaxation. At leno-th came the time for trying then- prowess, as also that of his horses and men. Most; masters would have felt rather nervous in taking the field with tAvo such coadjutors as Chowey and Swig, but Mr. Romford knew no fear, for he looked carefully after them himself, and there l)eing no public-house within three miles of the kennel, save the '* Dog and Partridge " inn, where he himself lived, and whose AT THE KI:NXEL. every nook and cranny he could command from his sitting-room, they dare not come there, while he hardly gave them time to get elsewhere. Moreover, they had no money, and were not likely- looking customers for people to trust. So they had to '' behave themselves " whether they were inclined to do so or not. What with the H. H. and his own, Facey had nearly a hundred couple of hounds in kennel, and meal l)eing costly, it Avas his interest to reduce their numbers as quickly as possible. So he Avould be at it by daybreak, making the Avelkin ring with their melody, long before Hodge and his ploughmen awoke from their slumbers. Often, as our sportsmen have been returning home, all dust and perspiration, after handling a culj or two, they have been asked when they were "gannin to cast off?" And Swig and Chowey, seeing they had a master mind in our friend, readily seconded his efforts, and played into his hands with skill and enthusiasm. The presentation hounds were indeed capital, and 64 MB. FACET ROMFOED'S HOUNDS. Facey, having satisfied himself that he couldn't do wrong which- ever he kept, again had recourse to the good bread-seal, olFering most superior drafts to outlying distant masters, at what he called the very moderate price of live guineas a couple ; and some of them knowing the Turbot on its tail personally, others by charac- ter, they readily accepted the offer, and Facey got a great number of five-pound notes in a very easy, agreeable manner. " Nothin' like bein' a master of hounds," said he, as they came rolling in post after post. And he revolved in his mind what other packs he could draw further supplies from. It was clear that either his own credit or that of the other Mr. Romford was extremely good, and he saw no reason why he should not profit by it. It was lacky that he had dropped the name of Gilroy, thought he. At length, the Romford orchestra being properly tuned, and all things ready for an opening, Swig and Chowey clad in good second- hand clothes, l)ought off the pegs, the fox-hunting curtain arose early in November, to the old familiar H. H. audience. Facey had matched his hounds admirably ; they could both hunt and run, and the foxes having been well disturbed, flew as they had never done before. The new horses, too, were admired ; and, altogether, the Romford star seemed in the ascendant. Still, there was nothing flash or showy in the establishment — indeed, our master had net even treated himself to a new coat, the Romford theory being that a hunting-coafc, like a shooting- jacket, should be worn as long as it would hang together. But the phmi-coloured coats brought many a fox to hand, one a day being the rule, instead of one a Aveek, as it was in old liothering- ton's time. We now come to Avhat broke up all this apparent prosperity ; and, as there is a lady, or rather two ladies, involved in the case, we will begin a fresh chapter. CHAPTER XV. MRS. EOWLEr ROUXDIXG. We do not know that we have ever mentioned it before, but if we have, we venture the observation again, — that among other great advantages afforded by railways, has been that of opening- out the great matrimonial market, whereby people can pick and choose wives all the world over, instead of having to pursue the old Pelion on Ossa or Pig upon Bacon system of always marrying MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. G5 11 neighbour's child. So we now have an amalgamation of countries and counties, and a consequent improvement in society — improvement in wit, improvement in wine, improvement in " wittles," improvement in everything. Among the members of the Heavyside Hunt who protited by this state of things during the summer of ]\Ir. Romford's noviciate, was the rich Mr. Rowley Rounding, of Grandacres Hall, a good turnip-headed, turnip-grow- ing Squire, whose faculties generally served him about twenty or five-and-twenty minutes after they were wanted. Being on a gaping excursion all along the Southern coast, he Avas perfectly galvanised with the beauty of the fair-haired, blue-eyed, brisk young widow, ^Madame de Xormanville (nee Brown), of Boulogne- sur-Mer, who came upon him at Ramsgate, in such a succession of bonnets, as almost to deprive him of reason, and at first prevented his laying that and that together, and deciding tha': if he couldn't l)e Monsieur de Xormanville, she, at all events, might be ^Irs. Rowley Rounding. For'first of all^ being a Madame, he had to ascertain and digest the fact that she might be and indeed was single ; then it opportunely occurred to him that he was single too, after which he came to the conclusion that there was no reason why — though he wasn't in search of a wife — he shouldn't try to catch the widow and carry her down into the H. H. country. To be sure. Bob Ricketts,' Billy IMeadows, and Charley AYestrope might iaugh and deride him, but they had not his means, and, moreover, had never been tempted by — such extraordinary beauty and bonnets, as heis. If she wasn't an angel, she was as near hand one as could be — but he thought she was one entire. He only wished he could make up to her. But what the "juice," as Chowey would say, is a country gentleman with no acquaintance but the landlord of his hotel to introduce, to do under such circumstances ? The lady, however, soon solved that mystery. Madame de Xormanville seeing she had Basihsk'd the booby, presently afforded him an opportunity of making her acquaintance by dropping lier finely-laced and ciphered kerchief as she floated before him on the pier, when she gave him such a pearly-teeth-showing smile of gratitude on restoring it as immediately finished the business. Next day she had him as handy as a French poodle, and look- ing about as sensible as one. And widows being generally pretty good men of business, short, sharp, and decisive, she brought him up to the "what have you got, and what will you do?" gate, without giving him a chance of leading her over it. Indeed, her beauty ought "to have exempted her from any such operation as 66 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. that, for though inch'niDg to emloi^wint, she had a beautiful figure and complexion, set off by the best of modistes and milliners, as Rowley found when the rather long-standing bills came pouring in — some dating even as far back as the time when she was Miss Brown — or Brown kStout, as the impertinent young fellows of that day called her. To make a long story short, however, which was more than Eowley could do by the bills, lie married her off hand, and then, of course, according to the old needles and pins song — '■' his sorrows began." Of course he took her dow^n into the country, and here we may observe that we cannot imagine a greater change than from the light elastic gaiety of southern watering-places to the sober realities of dull out-of-the-Avay country quarters, where the ladies were all prolific, and their talk was of children or nurses, and cooks, and how many candles each used in the kitchen. Mr, Rowley Rounding, though a very good man, and a capital judge of a cow, had very little in common with his sprightly wife, who having no family, required the excitement that children supply. And as it is not often given to the same man to be a good judge of a horse as well as of a cow, our Squire cared little about the former, and could not enter into the spirit of the equestrian performances of his wife, who was known for her capering qualities to all the small riding-masters along the Southern coast. Indeed, at Brighton they used to chari^e her rather more than other people in consequence of her weight and galloping propensities. Having exhausted her country circle, got all their histories and grievances by heart, domestic economy included, she now took it into her head she would like to resume her riding, alleging that it w^as no use wasting a good habit ; and although Mr. Rowley Rounding pointed out that a habit ate nothing, and did not cost anything keeping, she stood to her point firmly, and insisted that she ought to ride, that she w^ould be much better if she rode, that horse exercise would do her a great deal of good, that Doctor Senna had strongly recommended her to ride, the Doctor having said, in reply to her inquiry if he didn't think she w^ould be better if she rode, that " perhaps she might." And she talked and teased so much about a horse, declaring she couldn't do without a horse — that she must have a horse — that she would be perfectly happy if she had a horse, that Mr. Rowley Rounding, greatly appreciating peace and quietness, agreed to buy her a horse, and forthwith she besieged all her friends and MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S ROUNDS. 67 acquaintance with inquiries if they knew of a horse, a lady's horse, a horse with a flowing mane and tail — a whole coloured horse Avith racing-like points — that she wouldn't be ashamed to ride in Hyde Park, for she had some notion of getting up to town in the spring if she could. And a person wanting to buy a horse being ' fields as usual. " Cover, hoick T" cried Facey to his hounds, with a slight wave of his arm, and in an instant they were tumbling and scrambling head over heels through the blind fence into the wood. Facey, mounted on Brilliant, then rode quietly along on the line, keeping a watchful eye as well on the now wide-spreading pack in the cover as on the Lucy-pressing youths up above. He had only sixteen couple of hounds out, having brought nothing but what he could depend upon. They had not been in cover many minutes, ere old black-and-tan Vanquisher, who had hurried along a path with a palpable but still unproclaimable scent, struck up a little fern-covered ravine, and as nearly as possible had old Reynard by the neck. But the fox bounced with a desperate energy that aroused the whole pack ; a crash sounded through the wood as they hurried together, while the shrill sound of the whistle presently proclaimed he was gone. Facey got his horse by the head, and cramming into the ragged fence, cleared the wide water-channel beyond, and forced his way up the wooded bank, regardless alike of stubs, briars, and thorns. Another effort over a broad rail-topped mound, with a yawncr on the far 76 ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. side, landed him handsomely on farmer Biisheirs fallow, just as the hounds, closely followed by Lucy, were straining over the large grass-field beyond. There was a rare scent. Every hound threw his tongue, making the welkin ring with the melody. So they raced up Amerton Hill, past Nutwell Grove and Kellerton Law, through Oakley Wood beyond. The pace presently slackened ; hunting became more the order of the day, to the satisfaction of the majority of the field, who preferred seeing the intricacies of the chase unravelled, to being borne furiously along at a pace that did not allow them to look after anything but themselves. Thus they hunted steadily past Brackenhill Green, skirting Orton Moor, leaving the Scar on the left, down the banks by the Winwick road, into the Yale of Heatherfield below. Lucy and Facey, or rather Facey and Lucy, kept their places gallantly, Leotard going with the greatest temper and moderation, as though he were the best-behaved horse in the world. Whatever Facey took, Lucy took ; and whatever Lucy took, the young H.H.'s felt constrained to take, for the honour and credit of the hunt. So there was more dashing riding and heavy fencing on this occasion than usual. Romford, to do him justice, was always with his hounds, though Daniel Swig and Chowey both knew how to shirk. The steady hounds still kept pressing on, carrying the scent over the sandy soil of Heatherfield Yale with laudable pertinacity. This enabled the " heavy fathers " of the stage — the patcrfamihas of the hunt — to come up, and presently the Westham and Studland road resounded with the ringing hoofs of the horses, and the laughing hilarity of the riders, each overjoyed at getting such a near view. And the slower the pace, the more they enjoyed it. " Splendid hounds ! Finest run that ever was seen ! By Jove ! they're away again ! " And scarcely had the fatties given their horses the wind, and the youngsters looked down for lost shoes, ere Harmony and Desperate, having got upon a warm headland, gave such a proclamation of satisfaction as brought all their fellows to the enjoyment, making young and old again drop on their reins. The hunt was up ! Facey's round shoulders were again careering in the distance, and Lucy's plump figure was equally conspicuous. So they raced away, the hounds passing handsomely through the deer in Beechborough Park, round Sorrel Hill, past the hmekilns at Dewlish, and into Langley Lordship beyond. And here the first check occurred. The fox had been chased by a shepherd's dog, and the mischief was increased by a complication of sheep. The stupid muttons were just wheehng into line as Facey slipped tin'ough the farmyard on the hill. " Hold hard ! " cried he, raising his hand high in the air, to MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 77 enforce quiet from those behind, while his hounds made their own cast ere he interfered with them. They spread and cast well to the front, to the right, to the left, — bat no scent. The fox has been forced back on his line, and the field are all over the ground. The steam of the horses, the chatter of the followers, and the clatter of the roadsters, increase the disaster. Facey sits trans- fixed, one keen eye watching the hounds, the other raking the country round. At length he sees the black author of the mischief skulking along a hedgerow to his smock-frocked master, who appears at a railing at the far corner of the field. *' Case for a cast," says Facey to himself ; and getting his horse by the head, he halloas " Turn them," to Lucy, who forthwith gets round them in a quiet but most masterly manner, and a single twang of Facey's horn, with a crack of her whip, sent them all flying the way Facey wanted them. He then gave them plenty of swing, letting them use their own sagacity as much as possible, and was rewarded at the end of a semicircular cast by hitting oft' the scent at a mense. 'MVell done!" "Devilish well done!" "Capitally done I '' cried the field, more to Lucy than Facey, as the hounds dashed over the fence into the turnip-field beyond, and took up the running inside the hedgerow. Being on turf, with a pleasant, vista of white gates before them, the field kept on that tack, and Facey went scuttling along, throwing wide the portals as he passed. The best of friends, however, must part, and the line of gates at length came to an abrupt termination in a very rough, tangled boundary fence between Mr. Pilkington's and Emmerson Gunliffe's farms, at Shepherdswell Hill. It seemed as if it was made up of all the rubbish and refuse of the country, and zig- zagged like a lady's vandyked petticoat, wasting and spoiling ii great width of land. For the first time in the run, Facey changed his mind as ho a]-)proached the fence, turning from a tangled black thorn lapped with mountain ash, to a still more impervious-looking ivy-blind place. " Dash it ! but this is a rum customer," said Facey to Lucy, as he stood erect in his stirrups, looking what was on the far side. "Oh, throw your heart over it," said Lucy, "and then follow it as quickly as you can." "Heart ! " muttered Facey. "I shall never find it again if I do. It would be like lookin' for a needle in a bundle of hay." "Let me try, then," said Lucy, backing Leotard to give him a good run at it. She then put his head straight, gave him a slight touch of the whip and a feel of the spur, and was presently flounderini^ in the thick of the fence. 78 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. "I thought how it would be," said Facey, jumping oif his horse, and running to her assistance. But before he got up, another vigorous effort of the horse extricated her from her difficulties, and landed her in the nexfc field, with a considerable quantity of burrs and briars in her habit. " "Well done the lady ! " cried the panting Mr. Goldthrop, now comina: up, not only pleased, but grateful for the performance. If Facey would but charge it too, the field might all be able to get though. What a place it was ! And Facey, having clambered back into his saddle, turned his horse quick round, and thrusting his hat down on his brow, -claimed his right of saltation. They were all ready to yield him the jMs, services of danger being generally at a discount, and Romford was presently planted in the midst of the thicket, which Leotard had done Httle to enlarge. Scramble they went, the horse fighting and struggling as if in the sea, Facey sitting with liis feet out of the stirrups, ready to throw himself off* clear if required. It, however, was not necessary, for Brilliant, after many flounders, with a tremendous heave, extricated himself from fi woodbine-laced binder that held him, and landed on his nose on the opposite side. He was up like lightning, and Facey, who held on by the mane and his spurs, being chucked back into his seat, gathered himself together, and ere he sat, gave a cheering exclamation of " There's nothing on the far side ! " But if there was nothing on the far side, there was a great deal on theirs, as many of them seemed to be aware. However, it was no time for measuring, and Leotard's friend, Tom Heslop, coming up on a three-parts-broken cart colt, dashed manfully in, and fought a road safely through in the miraculous way peculiar to drunken men. What before was all doubt and obscurity, suddenly became clear and transparent. It was then who should get at it first. No ''I'll hold your horse if you'll catch mine," or friendly negotiation •of that sort. Meanwhile, the hounds had shot sadly away, leaving not a trace of their melody behind ; and but for the clubbing of sheep and the staring of cattle, the H. H. gentlemen would hardly have known which way to ride. To be sure, an occasional countryman, after a prolonged stare, in reply to the inquiry if he had seen the hounds, would drawl out, " Ye-a-s, ar see'd them," but none of them could muster intelligence enough to answer '* where," ere the questioner was out of ear-shot. However, they rode on, hopefully and manfully : the young ones, as usual, abusing the fox for taking such a line, the old ones wishing they might "come up with them again before they killed. Fortune, however, always favours the brave, and after clattering through the little straggling straw-thatched village of Eeepham, MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 79 bringing all the women and children to the doors in bewildered astonishment, Mr. Friar's quick eye caught sight of a red-coat topping the edge on the opposite hill, up whose sandy side ran the road they were then pursuing. " Yonder they go ! " cried he, pointing it out with his whip, though he did not know how far the hounds might be ahead of the coat. But riding to anything was better than riding to nothing, galloping about the country, exclaiming, "Have you seen the hounds ? " They then clattered down Cockenhatch Hill, across the bridge over the rushing stream, and laying hold of their horses' manes, proceeded to stand in their stirrups, and hug them up the opposite bank. That gained, some of the young ones, disdaining the road, dashed over a quickset fence into a heavy fallow, and sought the line Mr. Eomford was leading, or rather following, for Lucy was leading. The old ones pounded away on the road, reaching the crown of Eccleston Hill long before the seceders, when their admiring optics were greeted with a sight of the hounds swinging down the green slope of Rippendale Hill, closely followed by Lucy and Facey. Then there was a burst of enthusiasm at the magni- ficent way the hounds were doing their work, slightly clouded, perhaps, by the sight of the silvery Ribble, meandering its tortuous course through the rich green fields of the vale. What if he should cross it, thought they. However, it was no time for reflection. Meanwhile, Facey and Lucy had got together, and Facey's keen eye descried the fox taking the water, and floating down the stream so as to land a good way below the taking-off place. " Cunnin' beggar," said Facey, pointing him out to Lucy ; " but I'll have you in hand for all that," muttered he. The fox then crawled out on the opposite side, and after shaking himself leisurely among some dwarf willows, and listening to the music of the hounds, he again set off on his travels, as if in no way particularly concerned in the concert. He was an old dog- fox that had beat Lotherington and his lumberers twice or thrice before, and did not go in great fear of them. He was not aware that there had been any change in the programme, or he might have put on a little more steam. However, he kept on at a good steady pace, and being now so far from home, thought he might as well go on to Addington Woods, where there Avere not only plenty of rabbits, but very comfortable quarters and respectable keepers. And Facey, who saw the woods in the distance, and knew their attractions, thought to terminate the performance before they got there, not knowing when he might get out again if he once got in, with only his fair friend for a whip. So, riding 80 MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. inside the hounds, he cub off a wide an^^le, and met them at the place where tlie fox had crossed. Up they presently came, lashing' and bristling for blood. '• Yoick, over he goes ! " cried Mr. Romford, taking off his hat, as Constance and Cruiser spoke to the scent on the exact track of the fox. Forthwith the whole pack took the water like a flock of sheep, and went fighting, and splashing, and striving to be first out. Then, after a scramble out, and a hearty preliminary shake, they again put their inquiring noses to the ground to solve the problem, " which way has he gone ? " Trumpeter struck the scent witli an exulting flourish ; the rest scorned to cry, and away they went, pressing and pushing as before. "i^(9r-rard, away ! " cried Facey tm-ning Brilliant about to have a run at the brook. "Well, how is it to be ? " said he to Lucy, ere he dropped in his spurs to send his horse at it. " You first or I first ? " " Oh, both together," replied Lucy, turning Leotard round also to take it in line. '• Bear to the left, then," said Facey, nodding to a imrrower place at an abrupt bend of the brook. " You take off by the bush there, and FU go a little higher up, so that we mayn't break the bank with our weight." It was a prudent resolve ; for the bank, which was a great resort for water-rats, immediately gave way with the weight of one horse ; and when the first of the H. H.'s came up, hoping to cross over it as our master and his lady had apparently done, they found a very frowning, yawning, formidable-looking place, that did not at all improve upon acquaintance. However, there was no help for it : a brook is a brook, and must be either taken or let alone. Neither sober nor drunken men can do anything for us, and some of the knowing clderlies boldly wheeled round for Lowington Ford, while the younger ones charged here, there, and everywhere, two getting in for one that got over. Great was the splashing and snorting, and snatching at hats, and scrambling after whips, and loud the exclamations of " Catch my horse ! " " Turn my horse ! " " Help me out with my horse I " But for the inconvenience of being- beaten by a lady, very few of them would have risked a ducking. The country now became wilder and opener, the scent worse, and the seeing better. You looked into the landscape with minute distinctness. The Addington Woods were darkly visible. He would like to lay hold of him before he got there. A fresh fox would be very inconvenient at that hour. '^For-rard I for-rard! for-rard I ''' cheered Facey, to get his MR. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS.- »1 hounds on ; but the land was poor and exposed, and the Hne took a deal of finding. " To guide a scent well over a country for a length of time,, and through all sorts of difficulties, requires the best and most experienced abilities," said Mr. Romford to Lucy, as they now trotted on, watching the proceedings. '' Dash it ! yonder he goes I " exclaimed Facey, pointing the fox out to Lucy, stealing at a very steady, serviceable pace along the low side of a rough gorse-grown pasture, some fields ahead. '• 80 it is," replied she, recognising her friend. " Put them on to me, and I'll give them a lift," said Facey, pulUug out his horn, and clapping spurs to his horse. Ticcet, tweet ^ tweet! went the horn: crack, crack, crack went liUcy's light whip, and away the willing pack flew after their master. As long as Facey viewed the fox, he galloped and blew his horn, and then stopped just at the place where he had seen him last. The hounds then dropped their noses, and quickly hit otF the scent on much more iavourable ground. They ran in good earnest. Galloper no longer keeps his place — Brasher takes it. See how he flings for the scent, and how impetuously he runs ! Now another takes it, and so it is lost and caught, and caught and lost, by the compact phalanx of competing mouths. Mr. Romford cheers' them on, for he is anxious to kill the fox, as well for the credit of his pack as the edat of our fair whipper-in. So he rides, all eyes, ears, and fears, looking anxiously out for any indication of the line. A man on a hay -rick now holds up his hat, and our master presently views the fox again, still pursuing the even tenor of his way towards the large sheltering woods. He has a good steady stare, and calculates the respective paces of each, thinking the balance of speed rather in favour of the fox. He is half inclined to lift them again. If it weren't that they were hunting so well, he would do it"^ Just then fortune favours him. A party of practising riflemen, whom Pug mistakes for poachers, having been most unhandsomely peppered by one of the tribe, begin bang, bang, banging at the butt, causing him to make a long detour by Shirrington, and through Brandsby stone pits to Sherlcy. That seals his doom. He gets into a more populous neighbourhood, is headed and bothered, and driven from point to point, until baffled and flurried, he is almost driven into the mouths of the pack. Giving his horse to Lucy, Mr. Romford dives among the worrying hounds, and picks him up a lamentable victim of mis- taken identity. He had had a very different pursuer to Mr. Lotherington. If be had known it was Romford, he would have made more sail. 82 MR. FACEY ROMFORir^ HOUNDS. " Who-hoop ! " lioUoos Mr. Komford, holding him on high. *'Who-hoop!" repeats he, with redoubled emphasis. " Who- hoQp ! " shrieked he for the third time. "Dash mj buttons if I was ever so pleased at killing a fox in mj hfe ! " continued our master, throwing him on to the ground, and proceeding to examine his mouth. "A reg'Jar hen-stealin', goose-gobblin', turkey-worryin' old sinner," announced he, rising, and diving into his long, baggy black-and-white tartan vest for his knife. Oft* went the brush, head, and pads. *' There," said Mr. Romford, pocketing them, " you'll do no more mischief." Then he again raised the now mutilated carcase high in air with both hands, and Avith a profusion of "Who-hoops," threw it to the clamorous pack, with un equal profusion of " Worry, worry, worried." *' Clear the course there ! " now exclaimed he, as the pull-devil pull-baker pack, having broken the ring, were scrambling among the crowding horses' legs. '' Clear the course there ; " repeated he, driving the field back with his whip like a circus master. Then there arose inquiries for the brush and the pads, and how long it had been. " Brush is bespoke," muttered Facey, advancing to Lucy, and decorating Leotard's head with it. " Better than the baccy-shop, this," said he, in an under-tone, with a knowing wink, as he adjusted it. And Lucy thought of the time when another sportsman (Mr. Sponge) placed a well-won brush in her hat, and sighed. He then distributed the pads, while the satisfied field expatiated on the merits of the run, the time, the distance, and the severity of the pace. Nothing could be better, they all agreed. Time, an hour and twenty minutes ; distance, anything they like to call it. And they were all extremely obliged to the lady, they said. So they at length separated in various detachments, according to their respective destinations, many of them " Which way-ing ? " the country people, as though they had just dropped from the clouds. And Lucy and Facey rode home extremely well satisfied with themselves, and the hounds and the horses, and with all they had done. Facey had no idea that Lucy was such a fine horse- woman, not knowing she had been in a circus before she took to the stage. ME. FACEY EOMFORD'S ROUNDS. .83 CHAPTER XYII. THE FRACAS. — THE LARKSPUR HUNT IX DOUBLEIMUPSHIRE. We are sorry to say that the unanimity which prevailed in the hunting-field, respecting Lucy and her equestrian performances, was not shared in by the domestic circles of the H. H. hunt. Her appearance, instead of propitiating matters as was expected, only fanned the smouldering flame of discontent that had been lit up by the sale of Leotard to Mrs. Rowley Rounding into a down- right blaze of anger and revenge. " What ! they Avere to have pretty horse-breakers down in the country, were they ? " the ladies exclaimed. " They didn't care about Mr. Romford's wealth or his pack, or his si:H3rting prowess, or anything about him. They would have no impropriety ! " The "H. H." had always been a most respectable, well- conducted hunt ; and respectable it should be to the end of the chapter, or their husbands should have nothing to do with it. And they talked, and fumed, and stimulated each other into a grand phalanx of resistance. " Xo pretty horse-breaker ! " was the cry. Swig and Chowey being still Iwrs de combat, Lucy continued to officiate in their places to greatly diminishing fields, until one morning, at the meet at Mr. Trollinger's, Emerald Hall, instead of the usual offer of hospitality, they found the door shut, the v/indow-blinds down, and the earths open ; so when Facey thought the hounds were settling well to their fox, and about to drive him from the round hill on the left into the open, he popped into the honeycombed breeding earth behind tlie home farm. Pretty nearly the same thing was repeated at Starcross Court, much to Mr. Romford's chagrin ; for though he cared nothing about the breakfast inside, or the sherry and biscuits at the door, he was always very anxious for what he called a " go'lop." And as the party most concerned is oftentimes the last to know the real facts, so our friend was the talk of the country, without his having the slightest idea that he had done anything wrong. At length, one gentleman more venturesome than the rest volunteered to enlighten him, and also to express the almost unanimous wish of the country that he would be good enongh to resign it. Mr. Romford was "^ petrified. He had no idea that ladies were prohibited from hunting with the H. H. : Lucy intruded upon no one, and why should they interfere with her ? He didn't understand such work — dashed if he did. '84 MR. FACET BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. All this was looked upon as the arrogance of riches, and made the malcontents more than ever determined to sever the connec- tion. Facey at first was inclined to be pacific, not wishino- to forfeit the great eminence he had attained, and he was half inclined to concede that Lucy should not come out any more ; but the ladies would not let their husbands negotiate, and none of the fair dames being particularly fond of fox-hunting, which they considered a very inferior sport to shooting, they thought it would be a good thing to stop the adventurous amusement for a time, and also punish a purse-proud, arrogant man for his im- pertinence in thus thinking to ride rough-shod over them. So " go " was the word. Then Mr. Komford finding himself in a fix, dislodging the Turbot for a time, mounted his own cap of dignity, and resolved, if he was to lose the country, to sell himself as dearly as he could. So he said, of course he should not think of remaining a moment if he did not give perfect satisfaction, but they must all be aware of the enormous sacrifice he had made in coming to them, and the great outlay he had incurred in hunting the country, which would entitle him to the subscription for the season the same as if he remained, — not that he cared a farthing about money, and would most likely give it to a charity, but he did not choose to be snubbed or dictated to in that sort of way. And he talked as if he was well bred on both sides of his head, instead of only on one, and as if his pockets were full to repletion — talked till he almost made himself believe he was a gentleman. So the H. H.'s, not liking to contend with a man of Mr. Romford's means, Avere at length obliged to succumb. And they closed just in time to enable him to restore them some sixteen couple of the old H. H. hounds, which he had out at walk in various parts of the country, whose fnte veered between the members of that famous scratch pack the Gatherley hounds and the rope — the Gatherley's wanting the hounds for less than Mr. Romford chose to take. He had long since put down the most incorrigible of the old offenders, and, having now got his own pack well made, could afford to dispense with the rest. So he drafted all those with H. H. on tlieir sides, and told his late follovrers that he wished them joy of their treasures. Facey was now better in funds than he had ever been in the whole course of his life ; better, indeed, he almost thought than if he had got Oncle Gilroy's fortin' ; for if he hadn't got a fortin', he at all events had learned how to acquire one, and that was by hunting a country, keeping hounds, and getting his sport at other people's expense. Far better than railway-making, turnip-snig- gling, thief-catching, or any of the promiscuous pursuits he had MB. FACET EOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 85 once thoufrht of. Hunting a country was the thing, and though the H. H.'s might take exception to his menage, as Lucy called it, they could take none whatever to his prowess as a sportsman. If they didn't know his worth, others would. It must be a very *' slee fox " that could beat him. And, though Mr. Romford said it himself, there was a great deal of truth in the assertion, for he had a wonderful knack at circumventing a fox, and if there was not much style in his proceedings, there was a great deal of execution. This the H. H. gentleman felt, and recalled how often they had seen him handling his fox when old Lotherington had been nonplused, casting about without rhyme or reason — asking everybody's opinion and advice — " Which way do you think he's gone, Mr. Brown ? " " Which way do you, Mr. Green ? " That *' which way " is a very posing question. However, there was no help for it, and a penn'orth of comfort being worth three-half- pence to most of them, Romford, and Lucy, and Leotard, and all had to go, and were presently back at the old quarters at the "West-end Swell," Facey telling people that the H. H.'s were such a set of confounded cock-tails he had given up the country in disgust. He then took stock, and found himself master of fifty couple of most efficient hounds, with the recipe for getting more, and a comfortable sum of money in his pocket. Very well off in fact. What he called " a very able man." ' " There are as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it," said Facey, determining to take another try in the advertising line ; and forthwith he concocted a very specious announcement, offering the services of a gentleman with an excellent pack of hounds, to whom subscription was a secondary consideration to sport, to hunt a country, either for a term of years or for the remainder of the season. And having despatched the same to " Bell's Life " and the "Field," he quietly waited the result — amusing himself as best he could at the aforesaid Dog and Partridge Inn. As luck would have it, the very first announcement brought an apphcation from a gentleman, signing himself " Simon Greenfield, of Greenfield House, Honorary Secretary to the Larkspur Hunt," asking him what he could do that season — immediately, indeed. The Larkspur Hunt, like the Heavyside one, had long been a iree- gratis establishment — so long that the natives had ceased to look upon not subscribing as any accommodation ; and when old Mr. Bloomfield at length died, they had no doubt that plenty of people would be found ready to take the country on the same terms as he had had it. But experience shows, that with the great increase of wealth has not come a corresponding desire to support hounds, subscriptions being more difficult to collect now than they were fifty years ago. Formerly, hunting with shooting, satisfied a man : 8G MB. FACET BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. hunting from home, and shooting from home, both in reason and moderation. Bub now everybody must do everything : hunt in liCicestershire, shoot in Scotland, fish in Norway, race at New- market, and yacht everywhere, to sny nothing of the necessity of enjoying the expenses of a London season, w^iether he hkes town or not. As to a resident taking the hounds, that is a thing not to be thought of ; hence, we have a breed of migratory masters — men hke Mr. Eomford — who alight upon a country, and live out of the estabhshment. There were j)lenty of what Mr. Romford would call "able men" in Doubleimupshire (the scene of the Larkspur Hunt operations), bat they were all either gentlemen enjoying life's wholesale recreations, or gentlemen most earnestly bent on making more money. The former gave their subscrip- tions more from coercion fc^ian anything else ; while the latter found it more to their interesVto subscribe liberally than to waste time which to them Avas mon^y, in interfering with what they didn't understand, and with which they would most likely burn their fingers if they meddled. So they gave their money and stuck to their trades, some hunting for fashion, some medicinally,, some for air and exercise, some they didn't know why. But as they were all £. s. d.-men, men deeply imbued with the spirit of gain, who had never been accustomed to the growing exorbitance- of a pack of hounds, they always felt themselves imposed upon — never thonght they got half enough for their money — never believed the hounds cost what they said, were always sure whoever had them was making money out of them, and so they went on until none but tiie worst of the migratory masters would touch, and at last even they began to fight shy. At length the country became vacant altogether, and had got so far into the season without hounds, when Mr. Romford's opportune advertisement appeared. It was looked upon as a very apropos announcement, — one that ought to be cultivated, and forthwith each man began screwing his neighbour to see if he could not induce him to subscribe a little more. The usual stock-victims, — the Lord Lieutenant, the County ^lembers, and the Borough Members, — of course, were applied to, it being part of their duty to find funds for all. There: was plenty of money in the county, plenty of plate and powdered footmen, but somehow the parties preferred producing the latter to the former. But plate and powdered footmen alone won't draw, and the ladies soon began to feel the want of the red-coats,, and the enlivening meets of the hounds. In this respect they differed from the Heavyside ladies, who thought sherry and biscuits were all that was required ; whereas the Larkspur Jadies looked upon a hunt as a grand nucleus of society — the promoter of balls, breakfasts, dinners, races, conviviality of all sorts. And MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 87 as the winter had opened fTloomilv, and threatened to be very dull, they were more than usually urgent and pressing, when they heard of the advertisement, lest some other country might catch the advertiser up ; for we all fancy other people want what we do. So Mr. Simon Greenfield, who gave his services to the hunt instead of subscribing, was instructed to reply to the advertisement on behalf of the members of the Larkspur Hunt, whose country, Doubleimupshire,was then vacant — asking who the liberal-minded THE ROMFORD CREST. gentleman was that was ready to take one. And on receipt of the note, Mr. Romford replied, sealing the letter with the invaluable Turbot-sicting-on-its-tail seal, which spoke more forcibly than whole reams of satin note paper could have done. Mr. Romford ! Mr. Romford ! I know the name perfectly, exclaimed several. And forthwith there was a rush to the Burkes, and an anxious turn to the R.s — Rippon, Robson, Robertson, Roddam, oh yes — • all right — here he is, *' Romford, Francis, Esq., J. P., ]). L., seat Abbeyfield Park, patron of five livings, crest — a Turbot sitting upon its tail on a cap of dignity." Just so ! — here it is (holding up the letter), "a Turbot sitting upon its tail on a cap of dignity." Well done, Romford, Francis, Esq. He would bo the very man for their money. The announcement caused great satisfaction in Doubleimupshii'c, for Mr. Romford's name was good, and, as he could only bo 88 MR. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. changing for the Kake of improvement, the superiority of their county would doubtless compensate for any little deficiency in the matter of funds. And some of the small subscribers began to wish they had put themselves down for double the amount, seeing it was not likely to be called for. So Mr. Simon Greenfield was requested to rejoin forthwith, and thereupon a reciprocity of paper-pohteness took place between Mr. Eomford and him, in which the latter expressed his readiness to meet Mr. Romford to confer on the matter at any place he might choose to appoint. And Facey, not caring to have him too near, replied, after a good consultation and calculation of Bradshaw, that fair play Avas a jewel, and he would meet him half way, naming the Trench Crossing station of the Union Railway, at Hopton Heath, which appeared to divide the distance as nearly as possible, and being quite private, would prevent any chance of interruption ; in other words, prevent any one seeing him, and letting out that he was the wrong Romford. And so a meeting was appointed to take place accordingly. CHAPTER XVIIL THE HONORARY SECRETARY TO THE LARKSPUR HUNT. TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF. The Trench Crossing station of the Union Railway at Hopton He?th was an isolated shed upon a bleak, barren plain, inhabited only by a solitary snipe of a station-master, who but for the appointment would have made a capital hermit. The Express trains shot past it with disdain, the first and second classes only stopped on demand, while the pick-ups and parlies alone pulled up voluntarily, and having once stopped seemed as if they would never go on again. Facey had been down that way once before on a crusade against Sir Charles Goodacre's pheasants, and knew how to change his third-class ticket for a first one at Fiddlers Ferry station so as to come up all right first class at the heath. His appearance on this occasion was very different to what it was then, his tenpenny wide-awake being exchanged for a good black hat, and his rough pouched-like garb for a very becoming sporting attire. In truth, Lucy Glitters — we beg pardon, Mrs. Sponge — had civilised him amazingly, trimming his mane, and reducing . the ruggedness of his uncouth ali-round-the-face whiskers. Upon ME. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 89 this occasion he sported a neat scarlet-and-white striped tie, secured with a splendid diamond (Brighton diamond) ring, that would have been worth many hundreds had it been real, whereas he had only given eighteenpeuce for it. Still it looked verv handsome, and, though Mr. Facey was ugly enough, he had the Hi'm^iT THE MEETIXr; AT TRENCH CROSSING .STATION. size and the action that carry a thing off. Then, when he dis- carded his smart gray or rather lavender-coloured paletot, he dis- closed a neat, single-breasted, dark grny morning coat, striped buff vest, with Bedford-cord trousers, and buttoned'boots. In his dog-skin gloved hand he clutched a green silk parasol-like umbrella, the property of Lucy, which looked altogether out of proportion to the monster who carried it. ^ MB, FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. A railway joarnej, unlike a road one, can either be made lon^ or short, or middling, according- to the taste and inclination of the traveller, and there is no limit to what steam will accomplish. Hence, it follows that time atfords no criterion of the distance that a man may travel in a day. It all depends npon the train, whether he has flown by express, or taken it quietly by an ordinary train. Mr. Romford did a little of all sorts, changing from one line to another, from one class to another, as did his travelling coadjutor from the contrary direction, until, like the weird sisters in Macbeth, they at length met upon the "blasted heath." Facey came up in a slow train. PufT-whew-hew-ew-whiou, whew I and the sluggish monster at last got its cumbrous length laid alongside the little station. Out came the Snipe for a stare, never imagining* that two passengers could want to alight there in one day. Two baskets he had had, and three boxes, in one day, but he never remembered two passengers. So he didn't proclaim the name of the station. Mr. Romford, however, looked out and saw it, and prepared to alight. On the little platform stood a mildly drawn looking pink and white young gentleman, of some five-and-twenty ()r thirty years of age. Just" the sort of man that Facey would like to have to negotiate with. A glance of his keen ferreting- eyes told him that he could, what he called, " talk him off* his legs. in no time." He was glad to see he Avas alone, for then he needn't mind what he said. Lowering the third of the remaining carriage window in which he was seated, he called to the Snipe to open the door, and then alighted with the stately deliberation of a man doing the consequential instead of the hurrying out of a second or third class carriage. Advancing towards where the stranger stood, he gave his new hat a groomy sort of a rap with his fore finger, accompanied by a duck of the head, and a mutter of " Mr. Green- field, 1 believe." "Mr. Greenfield it is," replied the placid stranger, with a smilc» adding, " Mr. Romford, I 'spose," with a bow, whereupon Facey tendered him his substantial fist, and pump-handled him severely. " Ticket, sir, please," said the solitary Snipe, now coming up ; which being delivered up, and Facey having arranged his paletot becomingly across his arm, and felt that the Brighton diamond was safe, turned again to the " Honorary Secretary," saying,, now let's go in and have a talk." Thereupon Facey led the way into the diminutive waiting-room furnished with four black horse- hair-bottomed mahogany chairs, a round table, and a gaudy- coloured oil-cloth on the floor. In the little watch-pocket-like grate of a fireplace a few very inferior coals were gradually smoul- dering into white ashes. "Bring some fuel ! " roared Facey, digging his capped toe into MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 01 the midst of the remnant ; and the want being snpplied, he invited his friend to be seated on one of the chairs, and, taking another himself, stuck himself well before the fire, and thus opened upon him — "Xow tcl] me first," said he, fixing his little ferreting eyes full upon him — "Xow tell me, do your people eat, or do they drink, or do they hunt ? I mean," said Facey, seeing the Honorary Secretary did not understand him, " do they talk about their cooks or about their wine, or about the sport they have had with the hounds ? " "Well, I don't know exactly," replied Islw Greenfield, " they do a little of all three occasionally. There is a good deal of dinner company goes on, and where there is eating there will be drinking and talking too, you know." '' Ah, I don't care about dinners," replied Facey, with a shrug of his great round shoulders ; '• a little shooting would be more in mj way. Tell me now, are your people good-natured about their shooting, or do they kick up a dust if anybody gets on to their ground by accident or mistake ? " " Oh, some of them are veiy good-natured indeed, others are only so-so — men vary you know." "So they do," said Romford — "so they do ; one man is no more a criterion for another than one horse is a criterion for another, or one hound a criterion for another. Every herring must hang by its own head." He then began biting his nails and weeding his chin, as was his wont on critical occasions. "NoAV tell me about the hounds," at length resumed he, coming to the real purport of the interview. " Tell me about the hounds. How piany days a-week do you want the country hunted ? " " Four," replied Mr. Greenfield, promptly. " x\nd the subscription ? " rejoined Facey. "Well, from sixteen to eighteen hundred a-year," stammereel Greenfield, who had been told to begin low. " Sixteen to eighteen 'underd," muttered Facey, pulling a sample out of his beard, and examining it attentively at the fire. " Six- teen to eighteen 'underd a-year," repeated he. " How comes the uncertainty ? There's a difference, you know, between sixteen and eighteen, you knoAv — difference of two, I should say, though ] don't know nothin' 'bout mathematics — 'rithmetic, I should say." " There are always some people who put their names down and don't pay," replied the Honoraiy Secretary. "So tliere are," said Facey, " and be hanged to them — so there are, as I know to my cost. Well, but I suppose we might put the subscription down at eighteen 'underd a-year," continued he. 92 MB. FACEY ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. pulling out his betting-book, and doing a little "'ritbmetic" — *' eighteen 'underd from three thousand, and twelve 'nnderd remains. That would leave twelve 'underd a-year for me," said he, with a " can't-be-done-ish " sort of shake of the head. " So much as that ? " stared Mr. Greenfield. " The way I should do it," replied Mr. Facey — " the way I should do it. Of course there are some of these newfangled Marsh*-like masters who will do it for less, and live out of the subscription too, but that sort of w^ork wouldn't suit me. I must do the thing properly or not at all." Facey then arose, and diving his hands up to the hilts in his Bedford-cord trouser pockets, took a meditative fling round the little apartment, apparently lost in calculation, but in reality re- solved not to miss such a chance. " It's too much ibr the master to pay," at length said he, pulling up short, and sticking himself John Ball-ically (a coat- tail over each nrm) before the fire. " It's too much for the master — but still I think it might be manished, — I think it might be manished. 'Spose now," said he, sitting down again, and placing a foot on each hob, " 'spose we were to say — subscription two thousand — subscription two thousand — that would leave a cool thousand for me — quite little enough for a man who has all the trouble and bother of the thing." " I am afraid we could hardly raise the money," replied Mr. Greenfield, meekly. " Oh, easy enough," replied Mr. Romford — " easy enough. Put on the screw ! there are always plenty of fellows with more wool on their backs than's good for them, who'll stand a little fleecing." Mr. Greenfield sat mute, for his instructions were to fleece Facey. " It's a disagreeable thing to talk about money," observed Mr. Homford, Avith a pish and pshaw, '' but landed property is so dif- ferent to money property, where you get every farthing paid to the day, that one's 'bliged to be a little prudent and circumspect. "Wou't do to live up to one's income, you know," added Facey, with a shake of the head. "True," assented Mr. Greenfield, who had some house property of his own, which was always either standing empty, tumbling down, or wanting a year's rent laid out in repan-s. " Oh, I don't think there could be any difficulty about it," re- sumed Mr. Romford, cheerfully, after a pause ; " I don't think . * An ex-groom, having changed his name from Marsh, and decorated his face with mustachios, took a country, and passed muster, until he hunted a bag fox on a Sunday 1 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 93 tliere would ba any difficulty about it. It's only like putting a per-centage on to the present subscriptions, you know. Just as easy to draw a cheque for sixty as for fifty. People don't care half so much for parting with money by cheque, as they do in notes or so vs." Mr. Greenfield sat mute. " A man can't leave home without loss," observed Mr. Romford. " When the cat's away, the mice will play," continued he, taking another sample out of his beard and examining it attentively as before. The two then sat silent for a time, Facey twisting the hair about and viewing it in various lights. " You'll have the country hunted as it never was before," at length observed Romford, throwing the hair into the fire. " I don't like boasting, but if anybody can show sport I can. I have a first-rate pack of hounds," added he ; " spared no expense in getting them." Mr. Greenfield did not attempt to gainsay any part of this, his friends of the Larkspur Hunt being quite content to take Mr. Romford, provided they could get him at their own price, but being a rich man they thought they should have him cheaper than if he was a poor one. And our friend, like the drunken actor who fancied himself the King, in the Coronation, and exclaimed as he crossed the stage, " God bless you, my people ! " — our friend, we say, having talked so long in thousands, began almost to think that he dealt in them too, and that he was really a rich man,, instead of a rank impostor. Having given the fire another poke with his toe, for they did not allow fire-irons at the Hopton Heath Station, Mr. Facey Rom- ford got up again and gave himself another fling round the room, as if for inspiration. " You see now," said he, resuming his erect position before the fire, "you see now, what I want is sport — sport is the first con- sideration with me ; but sport can't be had without money, and we ought to put our shoulders fairly to the wheel too-ether to get it." The Secretary nodded assent. "Well, then, you see," said Facey, " besides what I shall lose by leaving home, I shall have to increase my establishment ; and I needn't tell you, who see me, that a man of moy weight can't mount himself for nothin'. Three 'underd is generally the figure I have to give for horses. As soon as ever the rascals hear they are for Mr. Romford, they immediately stick on the price. Then I should certainly like to know about a little shooting and fishing — not that I can say I should avail myself of either much, only it's pleasant to have an object for a walk, and to feel that one can go 94 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. out if one likes. Altogether I think we understand each other," said Faccj, thinking it would be very odd if the Honorary Secre- tary did. " Two thousand a-year guaranteed subscription, half in November and half in January, or the whole in November, if you like, for four days a week, with an occasional * bye,' cover rents and stopping paid, and I'll undertake to show you such sport as never was seen. But ' of their own merits modest men are dumb ' — only, if I can't show sport, I don't know who can ; so that's a bargain," said he, extending his right hand for a shake. ^' Oh ! but I shall have to consult the gentlemen of the hunt, first," exclaimed Mr. Greenfield, drawing back in alarm. " I shall have to consult the gentlemen of the hunt, first." "Or'd rot it, I thought you'd been a reg'larly 'pointed Plenipo- tentiary," replied Facey, pretending disappointment at the answer. " Or'd rot it, but I thought you'd been a reg'larly 'pointed Pleni- potentiary," repeated he. " However," said he, " you know what I want, and must fig your fellows up to giving it. Tell them it's only the superiority of their country that tempts me, nofJim' else." " I'll represent all you have said," replied Mr. Greenfield, guardedly. " And in talking about it, mind don't forget; to broach the shooting. Say, I should like a little shooting." *' I'll not forget that either," assented Mr. Greenfield. " Nor the fishing," rejoined Facey ; adding, " It would do your heart good to see me throw a fly. I really think the fish feel a pride and a pleasure in being hooked by me," continued he, flourishing his right arm as if he were in the act of handling a fishing-rod. He had had a good deal of fishing where he was, and what with his rod and his gun had kept the butcher's bill down. Our master then took a general suck of the Secretary's brains, learning as much about the country and characters in it as he could. They seemed to be a lively sort — quite difterent to the old Heavysides. Dinners, balls, parties of all sorts. The shrill shriek and screech of the whistle at length announced the coming of the down-train, and Facey, who had arranged the visit with a greater regard to his own convenience than that of the Honorary Secretary, now asked him to give him a help on with his paletot, which being adjusted, Facey gave him another pump- handling shake of the hand, and emerging from the little waiting- room, was presently seated conspicuously in a first-class carriage on his way back to Minshul Vernon, exchanging the first-class for a third one, as before. And the big talk, coupled with the Brighton diamond and gay get-up generally, had impressed the Honorary Secretary so favourably, that the Larkspur gentlemen resolved to MR. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 95 secure Mr. Romford, and, after trying eighteen hundred a-year unsuccessfully, Mr. Greenfield was at length commissioned to close for the two thousand a-year, the name of Eomford tickling the subscribers' fancies just as Mr. Facey said he tickled trouts when a boy. And Facey chuckled at his own 'cuteness when he got the de- spatch announcing their acceptance of his oi!cr, and said the Romford star was clearly on the ascendant. ■ AYhen it became known that such a swell as the Turbot-on-its tail had taken the Larkspur country, he was beset by people witli large places offering him their houses, at more or less remunera- tive prices. "Nothing for nothing,'' is the motto now-a-days. One gentleman was going to Naples : another to Rome ; a third M'anted to make a tour in the East ; a fourth in the West ; and they would have no objection to letting their houses and gardens to a careful party without any children, and one who would not interfere with the game. The game was to be held sacred. But for this, Facey would have had no difficulty in taking a place, and paying the rent out of his gun. The course of his inquiries, however, made him acquainted with the fact that Beldon Hall, the beautiful seat of Lord Viscount Lovetin, on the south-east of his country, was vacant, and had been so for some time, — a circumstance that generally has a miti- «-ating influence on the expected rent. In this case it had a con- siderable influence ; for his lordship had had so many cruel disappointments and vexations about letting it, that he was almost heart-broken in consequence. Not that the Viscount was poor — far from it — but this was the thorn in his side, — the one thing that made him miserable. Indeed, he had much changed with the unexpected acquisition of his title from his cousin, having been, when Jack MoneyguU, of the Tom and Jerry Huzzars, one of the jolliest fellows under the sun, ready to back a bill, bonnet a Bobby, do anything light and frolicsome ; but now, as the Lord Viscount Lovetin, he had become the meanest, most morose, penurious creature possible, always dreading expense and imposi- tion, sitting calculating interest by the clock. He had shut up Beldon Hall and retired to the Continent, where he lived cm irombnc, au quatrieme, au cmqimme, — anywhere rather than at home, — never spending a halfpenny he could help, and talking as if he didn't know where the next day's dinner was to come from. Then he wanted to let Beldon Hall, and he didn't want to let it. When it came to the point, he put so many restrictions and em- bargoes upon the parties, that nobody would take it. His lord- ship wanted the money, in fact, but did not want to give the tenants anything for it. Mr. Challoner might have it, provided 96 MR. FAGEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. he Avouldn't use the drawing'-room. Mr. Coverdale might have it, provided he wouldn't use the dining-room. Mrs. Emmerson and his lordship quarrelled about the cut pile carpet in the music- room. He would have it put aAvay, while she insisted upon keep- ing it down. So they separated, afoer consuming an immensity of paper, for they were both most voluminous letter-writers. And half-a-dozen other negotiations had gone off on similar quibbles, until the place was regularly blown. Nobody would look at it. People said it wasn't to let. Mr. Romford, finding this, wrote to his lordship, saying that he had taken the Larkspur country, and, hearing that Beldon Hall was empty, he would be glad to know if his lordship would have any objection to letting it to him, adding that he would take great care of the furniture and everything belonging to it, and of course he sealed the letter with the proper Turbot-on-its-tail seal. Now it so happened that Lord Lovetin had been one of the " gilded youth of England " along with the right or other Mr. Romford at Eton, and though they had never been particularly intimate, yet his lordship perfectly remembered Frank Romford, and moreover had had his memory constantly refreshed by reading the meets of his hounds in the papers ; and, hope deferred having long made his lordship's heart sick, he jumped at the offer, and named a much less rent than he had ever asked before. And Facey quickly concluded a bargain, which was only mentioned to Mr. Lonnergan, the agent, when it came to be ratified by directions from his lord- ship for liiving' Mr. Romford possession. Now Mr. Lonnergan was an imperious man, — one who had no notion of divided dignity, or of an owner presuming to exercise any control whatever over the property confided to his charge. There could be no two Kings of Brentford with him ; and Mr. Lonnergan being at best one of your "receive-the-rents, drink-the- landlord's-health, and let-the-tenants-do-as-they-like " order, he was doubly easy and indifferent with regard to the letting of Beldon Hall, just executing his lordship's orders, and nothing- more, — telling Mrs. Mustard, the dirty housekeeper, that the place was let, but saying, with a significant snort and a chuck of his great double-chin, he "didn't know who to, or anything at all about it, so she needn't bother him, his lordship having thought proper to manage the matter himself." And Lonnergan inwardly hoped that his noble master might burn his fingers by the trans- action. Indeed, he half thought of turning his lordship off for the offence. So, one bright winter's afternoon, a sort of social resurrection seemed to take place at the long-deserted mansion of Beldon Hall, in the shape of smoke rising from the various stacks of chimneys^ MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S BOUNDS. 97 to the surprise of the passers-bv aloni^ the Horton and Kin,^swood road, and the astonishment of the country round about. "What's lip now ? " was the general inquiry. " Is his lordship coomin* home ? " demanded the men. " Has he gotten a wife ? " asked the women. Proudlock the gigantic keeper strutted consequen- tially with the all-important secret— almost too large for his capacious chest to contain. The great Mr. Romford icas coming ! What a man Proudlock made liim out to be ! Wore silver boots on week days, and gold on a Sunday. CHAPTER XIX. LUCY BAMBOOZLES THE MASTEK. — IXDEPENDEXT JIMilY. AVIG- and Chowey being at length restored to convalescence, if not to their pristine beauty — sundry strips of adhesive plaster still remaining on their weather- beaten faces — Mr. Romford thought that Lucy might as well return to her scenes in the circle at Islington as waste her time any longer at the " AVest- end Swell." "To this end, there- fore, he magnificently presented her with a five-pound note and her fare, saying he would be glad to see her again some other day. But Lucy, having again tasted the sweets of country life, was not to be so easily disposed of as friend Facey supposed, and kept loitering -where, however, we are bound in a most exemplary manner. PRISTINE BEAUTY. on at the "West-end Swell ;"- to say she conducted herself Soapey himself could not have taken exception to her conduct. The fact was she had got fond of the hounds and the horses, and would like if she conld to blend her fortune with theii'S. But Facey didn't favour the design ; he felt that he was on his prefer- ment, and that such an appendage to his hounds might injure his 98. MU. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. prospects. In vain she expatiated on the delights of the chase, on the pleasures of leading the field, of cutting down Newton and Bibbing. In vain she hinted that Swig and Chowey would be better for a little more looking after, that having a whipper-in in reserve [meaning herself] would have a beneficial eff'ect in keeping them in order. Facey was proof against all her allure- ments, though he could not but admit that the last argument had a good deal of weight in it. It was a convenience, he admitted, to have some one in reserve. That opinion, however, he kept to himself. At length Lucy touched a chord that vibrated more forcibly still — it was a direct appeal to his pocket — Didn't he think it would assist his sales to have a lady to show off his horses ? A woman could hardly object to a horse that another had rode, and a man would be laughed to scorn who did. Facey was struck with the argument. That £80 had excited his cupidity and made him wish for more. He thought it might be very easily got. A very little riding of the horse by Lucy would do to establish his name for perfect temper and docility- perfect manners, as the advertisers say. The severity of the conflict now passing in his mind was evinced by the number of samples he culled from his chin and rejected without examination. He ran the matter quickly through his mind — the profit, the loss, the risk, and so on. " No, it won't do," at length said he ; " the world is censorious, and we should only get into a scrape." Facey felt the importance of now making hay while the sun shone^ — viz., getting an heiress, if he could. He must start fair at all events. But Lucy was a good coaxer, and combated his objections with great adroitness. She ridiculed the idea of her presence being the cause of the Heavyside rupture. It was all because they were jealous of her riding. She might have added " looks," but she left that for another to say — who, however, did not say it. They then had a great discussion upon the feasibility of the thing — the possibility of Lucy again living alone as she had done at the " West-end Swell " without exciting curiosity ; and it was decided by Mr. Romford that she could not. Still her resources didn't fail her. Why shouldn't her mother come down and live with her and make herself useful — she could graft stockings there with her quite as well as in Hart Street. " Humjjh ! " growled Facey, appealing again to his beard. *' Don't see what good that would do," at length observed he, after a long pause, fearing, amongst other things, that he might have to pay for the quarters. " If your mother was to coom, she'd better coom to the Hall, where there's plenty of room," observed he. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 99 '' And why not I " exclaimed Lucy. '' I'm sure she'd be most nappy/' ''thenfolke would say, *Who the deuce are these people he's g-ot^with him ? ' " replied Facey. ^ " Say I'm your sister," rejoined Lucy. " Hoot ! we're not a bit alike," o^rowled he! " Half-sister, or sister-in-law, then," said Lucy, anxious to accommodate matters. Still Facey was afraid. She then suggested some complicated state of relationship arising out of an imaginary double marriage of her mother that would cure all defects of looks and family connection, and ar^-ued It so scientifically, that she completely bamboozled our Master He could neither comprehend nor confute her. And the lady as usual, got her way. After a great deal of doubt and controversy, It was at length arranged that Lucy should accompany Mr Eomford to Beldon Hall, and that her '^ moother," Mrs. Glitters' who will hereafter be known by the name of Sidney Benson— Mrs' feidney Benson— should come down to keep her company, on the express understanding that Mrs. Benson was to make herself generally useful in the house, and Lucy out of doors .—Facey strongly impressing upon Lucy that it was only an experiment which might or might not answer, but that, under no circum- stances, could he have anything like riotous housekeepino-— sheep-chops " and batter-puddings being Facey's idea of luxu- rious living. It was also further arranged that Lucy might pass as His halt-sister— sister by courtesy— assuming the name of feomerville, and passing as the widow of an Indian officer 1 he present is undoubtedly the age for furthering Eomfordian speculations, for dress has become so queer and eccentric, and all people are put so much upon a par by the leveUino- influence of the rail, that a versatile man may pass for almost anvbody he likes— a duke, a count, a viscount. Mr. Romford, however, was so satisfied with the distinguished name of Bomford, that he had no desire to be taken for any one else ; indeed, he thought Romford was iust about as good a name as a man could have. If people chose to confound him with his namesake, the other Mr. Romford, it was no business of his. So, discarding the detested name of Gilroy on eaving the "West-end Swell" at Minshull A^ernon, he directed his packages, "Francis Romford, Esquire," only; but then ho added, 'At the Lord Viscount Lovetin's, Beldon Hall, Douhleim- upshire, which made them very commandino-, and procured him great attention. They were not numerous, neither were Lucy's, but things are so procurable all the Avorld over, that there is no occasion to travel about with any great stock. Moreover, Lucy— H 2 100 MK. FACEY KOMFORD'S HOUNDS. wo bco- pardon, Mrs. Somerville— on whom of conrse deyolved the burthen of display, meant to work the Tnrbot-on-its-tail seal upon the London milliners as soon as she got established at iieldon Beino' now aware of the importance of first impressions, Facey sent hil own and his men's measures up to the celebrated Mr. Tick, the tailor in Civil Row (whose aptitude ibr dressing sports- men is so universally appreciated), in order that they might nob appear in the disreputable-looking garments they had been accus- tomed to wear with the now discarded Heavyside hounds. And he also communicated fully with Mr. Goodhearted Green urging him to send down a supply of horses— good, bad, or indifferent— as quick as he could, adding, that if Goodheart came with them himself, he would put him up and find wear and tear for his teeth. And all things beino- prepared for a start, and Facey having tak-n a parting glass with Toby Trotter over-night, rose with the sun the next morning, and left Minshull Yernon, with hounds, horses, servants, Lucy, and all, much to the regret of Mrs. Lockwood, the genial landlady of the " A^ est-end fewell. The unwonted freight commanded great attention on the line. The various station-masters presented themselves respectfully at the carriage-door ; the curious of each place peered in at the window; and the bustling guard as l^e him-ied along the platforms, kept replying "Mr. Eomford-Mr. Eomford, to the numerous inquiries ''Who it was?" So our travellers passed from line to line till they got to the Cross-street station at How- land Hill, where they ouo-ht to have changed carriages, but here a director happenino- to be on the platform, and hearing who it was, came forward, bowing and scraping, and beg-mg that Mr. Romford and the lady would not think of disturbing themselves for the carriage thev were in should go on to their utmost destination. Thus they proceeded, with great dignity and ease, lau^rhins: at the fools who thus worshipped them. . , -, At lem>-th, after a long pace-slackening glide, the tram stopped before assort of Swiss cottage, and a large black and white board in the centre announced " Firfield Statiox. The porters then beo-an running along the line of carriages, exclaiming, u ^ieid '^Field !-Fifield Station ! Change here for Shenstone Comb, and Danby ! Change here for Shenston, Comb, and m7 Romford having let the train fairly subside, then lowered his window, and called authoritatively to the head-porter to open the door. The mandate being quickly obeyed, our Master descended, with becoming caution and dignity, and then proceeded to hand out Lucy, the eyes and necl^ of the remammg passengers MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 101 being strained to get a sight of the lady. " Yery pretty," the men said she was. " Middling," said the ladies. With a clank of the coupling chains, olf went the last joints of the tail con- taining Mr. Eomford's cargo ; the hounds raised a melodious cry, and the now lightened engine presently snorted, and then shot away with the rest of the train. ''Tickets ! — Tickets, if you please," was then the order of the day ; and tickets Mr. Eomford delivered up, — tickets for himself and Mrs. Somerville, — tickets for vSwig and Chowey, — also for Bob Short, who had replied to Facey's advertisement for a "strong persevering man, to clean horses," — and voluminous documents for the hounds and stud. The ''strong persevering man " being a teetotaller, Facey now put Swig and Chowey under his charge, while he escorted his sister — Mrs. Somerville — to her destination. It must be a poor sj^iritless place that does not sport a " bus ; " and though none of the three old grey-roofed villages — or "toons," as the natives called them — viz., Xecton, Lingford, or Heatherey dough, were important enough to keep one themselves, yet, by clubbing together, they not only had a bus, but also a nondescript vehicle and pair that might be engaged by those who objected to making the triangular tour of the " toons " by the bus. Both vehicles belonged to the same man, one Peter Cross, of all three places, Peter being a publican at one, a provision-merchant at another, and paper-hanger at a third. Peter and his man, Jimmy Jones, or Independent Jimmy as he was generally called, dro^e the bus and the " chay " by turns ; and on the day of the great Mr. Eomford's arrival^ Peter had the bus, and Jimmy the " chay." Peter, who did the politeness — an article that Jimmy was rather deficient in — seeing vrho they had got to convey, strongly recom- mended the " chay " to our friends, observing that they would get to Beldon Hall in half the time that they would by the bus ; and Peter even yielded the pas to the " chay," keeping all the bus passengers waiting while he helped Jimmy to load and shove Lucy into the queer little cock-boat of a carriage, all curtains, slides, and glides, that no one can ever work in a shower until he is wet through. Having, however, little to do with our " Mathews-at-Homc " of a master, we will proceed to introduce the man, who is a more important personage in our story. Independent Jimmy was well called Independent Jimmy, for he had a most independent way of his own: he did not seem to care a copper for any one. If a passenger tipped him, he took it ; if he didn't tip him, he was equally civil without : he did not seem to care whicli wny it was. Sometimes he sported a coat, and sometimes he didn't ; and the 102 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. more likely the weather was for wearing: one, the more unlikely Jimmy was to have it on. He never said Sir, or Ma'am, or Miss, or used any of the circumlocutory forms of address, but just blurted out, " Noo then ! " " Get oop ! " Get doon ! " " Get in ! '* " Get oot ! " and shoved his passeufjers about like so many sheep. He was a big, burly, strongly- built, blunt Xorthumbrian, with the strength of a Sayers, and the digestion of an ostrich. A man might as well pound at a sack of beans as at Jimmy. His healthy cheek almost outvied the bloom of his blue-glass-bnttoned scarlet plush vest. Ho would take a trunk away from a tottering foot- man, and chuck it into its place like a quoit. He had been all his life among horses, either as an ostler, a helper, a post-boy^ a, bus-man, or a cab-driver, vacillating about the country, changing* from the " Rose and Crown " at Heckworth to the " Leopard " at Bucknel, and from the " Bunch of Grapes " at Haywood to the " Hat and Feathers" at Heatherey Clough. Thus he had a very general acquaintance, and could have written or dictated a capital guide-book, giving as well an account of all the inns and places of public entertainment, as of all the private houses, with their respective staffs of servants, and the strength of each of their taps. Jimmy was free of them all, — of all at least that gave any- thing away. There was a sort of an independence in his very gait, for his right leg gave a free-and-easy shake, as if it did not care a copper for the other. But we will let him parade himself as he goes. We are now at the back of the Firfield Station, with the luggage on, and Lucy in, what the wags called the melon-frame. The day being fine, and Facey, not at all the man to submit to the impurities- of a shut cab, as he called a close carriage, now intimated, by a jerk of his head and a turn of his wrist, that Jimmy might shut the carriage-door, which being done, Facey and he mounted the box on alternate sides, and Jimmy having tendered Facey half his old drab frieze over-coat to sit upon, clutched the hard weather- bleached reins, and with a jog and jerk and a click of his tongue, moved the old leg-weary screws slowly away out of the whinstone- covered ring at the back of the Firfield Swiss cottage station. The grinding noise subsiding as they got upon the well-kept turn- pike road beyond, the two old nags — a bay and a chestnut — • having first laid their heads together as if in consultation, seemed to agree that a voluntary trot might save them a rib-roasting, so, with wonderful unanimity, they both began to potter along, while Facey sat contemplating their dreary, leg-weary action, and Jimmy sat wondering what Facey thought of them. " Not a bad-shaped nag, that old white-legged chestnut ? " at length observed Romford. MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS^ 103 " Good un, — varrj," said Jimmy, j^ivinp: the horse an approving rub in the ribs with tiie crop of his piij^-driver-hke whip. " Where did yon get him, now ? " asked Romford. "Wor maister bought him — bought him of Hazey — second- hand Neddy, as ar call him," said Jimmy. " What Hazey — the man who keeps the Hard and Sharp hounds ? " asked our licro. KaCKY escorts MRS. SOMERVILLK To UEK DE.STINATION. " Keeps the hunds ! " ejaculated Jimmy ; " the liunds more like keep him, ar should say." " Well, but we mean the same man," rejoined Facey. " Same man," assented Jimmy ; "same man. Arn't two such men v the world." " Mean man, is he ? " asked Romford. "Mean man," assented Jimmy; "man that would do out; quite a wonderful sort of man for meanness." .104 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. " But he's rich, isn'fc he ? " asked Romford. "Eich, ay ; rich enough. But what signifies his riches ; does things that a l^eggar would be sham'd on. A but hear him buy a hus and sell a hus is quite a theatre performance : a man w^adint know that he was talkin' 'boot the same animal. Ar arlways says that nobody knows what doonright cliver lein (lying) really is who hasn't heard Hazey. A, he's a reglar imposition," said Jimmy, with a shake of his head and a chuck of the coupling reins, as if to make his horses get away from the thoughts of him. " You wouldn't give much for him, I 'spose," observed Romford, holding Jimmy on to the line of scent notwithstanding. "Moch, no i " replied Jimmy. "Why, he's abun twenty years aid, and been doon iver se mony times — doon with the butler, doon with the coachman, doon with the gardener, doon with ivirybody a'morst." *' A h'-pun-note, p'raps," suggested Facey. " Fi'-pun-note ! " retorted Jimmy, ironically, adding, "No sink ; we get twe sich as him for that money." "The duece you do ! " observed Mr. Romford, laughing. " We just gav three-and-thorty shillin' for him," continued Jimmy, unl^urthening his mind without further circumlocution. " Aid Hazey wanted two pund, but wor aid maister's jus': as keen and as hard bitten as lie is, and began by bidding him thorty shillin', and efter 'boot six weeks' hard barginin', he got him for three-and-thorty." " Cheap enough," said Mr. Romford, eyeing his honest pulling. "Why, he's not iv'rybody's money, you see," replied Jimmy. " He's o'er leet for the 'bus, or o'er wake for the ploo, and if he couldn't carry the lad wi' the letters, what could Hazey de wi' im ? Sink ar think he did varry weal to get three-and-thorty shillin' for him," continued Jimmy, rub])ing the old horse again on the ribs with the crop of his whip to coax him along. The foil of the road favouring a trot, Jimmy then bowled along for some half-mile in silence. Mr. Romford at length broke it. " Who have we here ? " now asked he, as a spacious stone mansion with a couple of crest-decorated gates and lodges suddenly loomed upon them. " Oh, this be Lees — Halbury Lees. Willy Watkins — Squire Watkins lives there," replied Independent Jimmy, with a twirl of his whip and a chuck of his chin, as if he did not think much ot 'him. " Does he hunt ? " asked Romford. " Hont ! no — shut noither," replied Jimmy. • "What does he do, then ? " asked Facey. "Nout. Brush his hair mainly ar should say," replied Jimmy. MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 1C5 "He whiles put on a red coat, but it's only for show, ar should say. " Sink," said he, half to himself and half to Romford, '' but I de think they are the bi,2:ge8t feuls in arl the country. Lcuk, noo," said he, " at them there lodges with the red and gould lion crests and grand fancy gates, just as if they belanged to a duke. Arm dashed but that chap was a painter and glazier, or somethin' of that sort only t'other day," continued he, flanking the bay. as if lo get past the obnoxious gates as fast as he could. " Painter and glazier," repeated Mr. Eomford, " he must have had a good trade." "Xo, he hadn't," replied Jimmy, "a varry bad un — at least he couldn't make nout on't, so he went to Horsetria, ye see, where they dig out the gould." "Australia, p'raps," submitted Mr. Romford, whose friend, Soapey Sponge, was no'>v there. "Ay, Horsetrilia — that's the varry name of the place," replied Jimmy — " Horsetrilia. Well, there he dug a mint o' money, and came home with a grand set-up wife and sich a conceited dai'ter, ar don't think ar ever seed sich a sarcy pair, and took this place of old Squire Dobbindale, puttin' oop these grand crests at the gates and gatherin' all the lazy scamps o' sarvants i' the coountry. They'll take anything that they say has lived with a lord. As to the darter," continued Jimmy, reverting to her, "she's just the impittantest, sarciest gal i' the world, arlways tossin' aboot and givin' gob, Noo, there's the Ladies Rosebud, Lord Flo^\erdew's darters, when ar gans to the Castle, for any body there, they speak quite civil and plizant ; ' Good morning, Jimmy.' ' How do ye do, Jimmy ? hoo are all the little Jimmys ? ' (for ar ha' thorfcceu on 'em," added Jimmy, parenthetically) " and so on, while this sarcy thing taks had of her stickin'-out claes, and cries, * Now, man ! get out of the way, man ; see, man I look, man I mind, man I ' just as if I were a twoad. Sink, I'd skelp her ivry other day gin she were mine ; " and thereupon Jimmy gave Hazey's horse some scientific cuts, just as if he were dealing them out "to Miss "Watkins. " Sink, but ar often wonders," continued Jimmy, now lookins: down at his lack-lustre shoes, now up at the firmament ; "sink, but ar of ten wonders who those sort o' fondles think ihey impose upon. It can't be the likes o' me," continued he, " for we know all about them ; it can't be the gentlefolks, for they'll ha' nout to say te them. It mun just be their arn silly sels," at length added he, solving the problem as lie proceeded. They then passed on within sight of several other country houses, of more or less pretensions, of all of whose inmates Jimmy 106 MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. discoursed in terms of easy familiarity, d — — g one, praising^ another, scouting a third. It is always well for county gentlemen to keep in with the drivers of public vehicles past their places. Being abused — say twice a day — every day of the year comes to a good deal of abuse in the course of a twelvemonth. To-day, for instance, Mr. Romford made the acquaintance of the most dis- tinguished characters in our story, all through a chance journey with Independent Jimmy. And Jimmy had his favourites as well as his foes. " Noo this be a genleman comin','' said he, as a sporting-like man in leather leggings and a shooting-jacket came tit-tup-ing along on his pony ; " though he has neither powdered footmen nor piebald gates, Storlin [Sterling] — Stanley Storlin of Rosemount." " How arc you, Jimmy ? " nodded the Squire, as he now came up. " How are you ? " nodded Jimmy, as he passed along. "Sink, now, if that had been Hazey, or AVilley, or any o' them like chaps, they'd ha taken ne mair notice on me than if ard been a coo," observed Jimmy, giving Hazey's old horse another refi'eshei-, adding, — " Arm dashed, but ard like to hev the lickin' o' some o' them chaps," flourishing his whip as if he would give them it well. CHAPTER XX. BELDON HALL.^MRS. MUSTARD'S MISCELLANY. A SUDDEN turn of the road to the right now brought our travellers in full sight of a noble-looking mansion, standing open, but not exposed, in a rich, Avell-wooded park, sloping gently down to a broad, shining river, whose sparkling reaches ran parallel with the road along Avhich they were passing. It was, indeed, a beautiful scene : beautiful even in the sterility of winter, lovely in the rich leafy honours of a glowing luxuriant summer. '' That be your shop, now," said Independent Jimmy, nodding his head, and pointing towards the commanding edifice with his clumsy whip, adding, as he stared at it : " sink, but it's lang sin' ar seed them chimlies smokin' i' that way." Facey sat in mute astonishment, contemplating its vast propor- tions, which still kept increasing as they proceeded, — now the stables and the gardens, now the dairy, now the dove-cote, appearT ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 107 ing panoraina-like, as they proceeded. He had, indeed, got a large house — a very large house ; but there was no occasion to occupy it all. They now arrived at the massive Gothic lodges, slightly dis- figured by the appearance of sundry clay pipes, gingerbread horses, and glasses of lollypops in the windows, all of which would have been removed, as they always were for Mr. Lonnergan's periodical visits, had Mr. Romford come a little later. As it was, our friends took the natives rather by surprise, the young lady who at length came to open tlic gates making her appearance witli one red stocking on and the other off, beside being otherwise en deshabille. *' Jip ! " cried Jimmy, as she at length got the iron gates open : and, passing through, he took the old horses by the heads, and began to bustle and prepare them for the circuitous ascent of the hill to the house. " Sink, ar I mind when there wasn't sic a thing as a weed to be seen on this road," observed Jimmy, now- contemplating its grass-grown dimensions. " That was in the ould lord's time," added he ; " not much weedin' done here now." Lucy, meanwhile, having been aroused by the stoppage at the gates, opened a melon-frame window, and proceeded to reconnoitre the place as successive winds of the road presented the grand house in a variety of views, south, east, and west. She was very much pleased with all she saw, and felt quite equal to the occasion. Not so friend Romford, who dreaded the expense of a large place. " A house is a consuming animal," he always said. He liked the simplicity of the Dog and Partridge Inn, and the easy indepen- dence of the " West-end Swell." However, he was in for it, and must brazen it out. He wasn't easily cowed. The ascent being at length gained, a good piece of trotting ground presently brought the travellers up with a swing under the wood-paved portico of the front-door. They were now at battlementcd Beldon Hall, with its deep bay windows divided by stone mullions and transoms, and other baronial evidences of strength. Independent Jimmy, having chucked the reins on tho horses' backs, in apparently well-founded confidence that they wouldn't nm away, then " got doon," and proceeded to arouse the long-dormant house with a pull at the conspicuous brass-handled bell knob. It pealed as if it would never cease, and echo seemingly took pleasure to repeat the sound. It was long since echo had had any such recreation. Before the noise ceased, one side of the folding-doors opened, disclosing the tawdry person of the before-mentioned Mrs. Mus- tard, now struggling hard to open the other side, so as to let the great man enter in proper form. Mrs. Mustard was rather sur- 108 MK. FACET BOM FORD'S HOUNDS. prised to see a ladj in the vehicle, instead of only a gentleman, as she expected. " All rifrht ! " said Romford, seeing her looks. " All right I It's only my sister." So saying, Facey handed Lncy out of the carriage, and bid her go into the house and fend for herself. " I'm sorry I didn't know the lady was coming," observed Mrs. Mustard, dropping a curtsy as she smoothed down her faded brown silk gown ; " or I would have had the drawing-room ready." *' Oh, hang the drawing-room," replied Facey. *' Do very well without it — do very well without it." " But his lordship would have wished you to find everything comfortable and proper," replied Mrs. Mustard. '• Oh, proper enough," replied Facey, taking out the cloaks. *•' Proper enough. I'll tell you what to do. You get her a bed- room as near yours as you can ; for she hasn't brought her maid, and, moreover, is afraid of bogies and such-like things," adding, " her moother's coomin' to-morrow." " Certainly," replied Mrs. Mustard. " Certainly — she can have the pink room, next door to mine, if you like." " That'll do," said Romford. '' That'll do. Now about the luggage. Chuck down the traps," continued he, addressing him- self to Jimmy. These were soon on the ground — gun-case, fishing-rod, landing- net, and nil. Jimmy, again clutching the reins, reascended tlic throne, and drove oft' without any dallying, or loitering, or inquir- ing — railway-porter-like — if Facey had got this or that, in order to draw out the reluctant shilling. As Jimmy returned he met Squire Sterling again, who hailed him to stop. " "Who had you in your melon-frame just now ? " asked he. " Oh, it was Mr. What's-his-name, the new maister," replied Jimmy. " The dcace it was ! " exclaimed Mr. Sterling, wishing he had taken a better look. " Well, what sort of a chap is he ? " " Seems well enough," replied Jimmy. '' Not a man of much blandishment ar should say," added he, driving on. ]\[r. Romford, having seen Jimmy oft', then walked into the bouse as if it was his own. The spacious entrance-hall showed it was a capital place, replete wuth comfort and every modern luxury Pictures, vases, statues, busts, all betokening wealth and taste. Some people would have felt rather abashed at getting into such a place under the influence of a spurious broad seal, but iriend Facey didn't look at it in that light. A master of hounds was a great man, and his lordship evidently wished to treat him ME. FACET ROMFOBirS HOUNDS. 109 as such. So lie took possession ■U'itli an air of confident owner- ship. Lucy had not been lono^ in the place ere she had explored every hole and corner — from the skylights to the scullery, wash-house, knife-house, laundry, larder, and all ; and had informed Mrs. Mustard as much of her history as she wished to have promul- gated — viz., that she was the widow of an Indian officer, and had come to stay with her brother, the new master of the hounds, until he was comfortably settled at Beldon Hall. And though Mrs. Mustard thought they were very little alike, yet her own daughters, whom we shall presently introduce, were very little alike either ; and she felt it was no business of hers to make any observations. So Mrs. Somerville and she proceeded from apart- ment to apartment, the grandeur increasing as they progressed, until the whole culminated in the noble put-away drawing-room, with its gilded ceiling and brown-hoUand balloons containing the richly cut-glass chandeliers. Lucy was fired with a noble ambition, and thought what a glorious sight it would be to see herself seated on an ottoman — feathered, flounced, with a broad-laced kerchief in her gloved hand, arrayed for the reception of company. " Satin damask," now observed Mrs. Mustard, lifting up the corner of a cotton print chair-cover, and showing the shining substratum of pink, adding, " I'd have had the room ready if I'd known you'd been coming, mum." And a thought struck Lucy, that as she had come she might as well have it ; so, after casting a longing eye at the lofty muslin'd mirrors, resting on their pure white marble slabs, she said — " I s'pose it could be got ready, if wanted ? " " Certainly, mum, certainly," replied 3Irs. ^lustard, dropping a curtsy, wondering where all the fine-figure footmen were to come from if it was used. And Lucy's ambition rose as she saw the opportunity of gratifying it. What a change from the cigar shop in Jerniyn Street, Haymarket ! and the " AVest-end Swell " at ^linshuU Vernon ! Mrs. Mustard was one of the pauperised order of housekeepers, who veer between temporary places and turnpike gates. Xo one kept Mrs. Mustard long. She was only a job ; job nurse, job cook, job anything. The regular turnpike people were shy of employing her, she required so much watching ; while road trustees would ns soon have thrown the gates open altogether, as appointed Mrs. Mustard to collect the money lor them. Her great recommendation to Lord Lovetiu's place was that she was to be no MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. liad very cheap ; and his poor lordship having been so dreadfully depressed by the repeated failures to let Beldon Hall, found it absolutely necessary to reduce the expenditure upon the place to the lowest sum possible. So the housekeeper's wages had gradually come down, and down, and down, under successive administrations, until they at length fell to Mrs. Mustard's mark — six shillings a week, which, however, was a shilling a week more than she got for keeping the Grabley side bar on the Shaverdale road. To be sure, she was allowed " garden stuff," which, by a liberal construction of the term, was held to include milk, fruit, and fresh-water fish. The ponds at Beldon Hall were well stocked. It was also said that she kept a pig on the sly in the pigeon-house. The great advantage of the place to her, however, was that it enabled her to harbour her three dashing daughters, Bridget, Agatiia, and Euth, when any of them came dribbling home from place, which one or other of them did every month, or oftener, their services being as little appreciated as those of their worthy mother. Mrs. Mustard, now about fifty-five years of age, had been a beauty in her day, and her daughters, though exceedingly unlike each other, were handsome, showy, dressy girls, though, like their mother, so slovenly and slatternly when not e?i grand costume, as to have earned for themselves the sobriquet of the Dirties, Mrs. Mustard herself being called Dirty No. 1 ; Miss Bridget Mustard, Dirty No. 2 ; Miss Agatha, Dirty No. o ; while Ruth, the youngest and prettiest of the whole, and who has more to do with our story than iier sisters, was designated Dirtiest of the Dirty. Ruth was very pretty, and just turned of twenty ; tall, slim, and elegant, with light brown hair, large languishing blue eyes, fringed with the longest of lashes, pearly teeth, beautiful hands and feet, and a soft musical voice, with gentle and subdued manners — a being capable of being wrought into a very beautiful creature. Unfortunately, however, she had a drawback besides her untidi- ness, and that rather a serious one — she was an incorrigible thief. She could not be restrained from stealing. Gentlemen's places, farmers' places, publicans' places, were all alike to Ruth ; she would have souvenirs from each of them. Nor was she at all abashed at being caught. Her mistress might turn the stolen goods out of her box before her face, without eliciting a blush from Miss Ruth. Indeed, the chances were she would say her mistress had put them there. On one occasion, having got a month at Fro wnham Petty Sessions for stealing a silver spoon from Farmer Cropton's, of Byfield, she declared, when she came back from the House of Correction, that she had been at the sea- side for the benefit of her health. Now it so happened that all the Dirties were at home when the MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. Ill Romfords — that is to say, Mr. Romford and Mrs. Soraerville — arrived at Beldon Hall, for Miss Bridget, a tall, stout, startling brunette, with the blackest of hair and the brightest of eyes, had recently been discharged from Farmer Roughfolds' of liOggan Hill, for leaving her cows unmilked one morning while she went over to Casterton to get herself photographed, and Miss Agatha had long NOT A BLUSH FROM MISS RUTH. been vacillating between the duties of an occasional dressmaker and a barmaid, in the expectation of the coming of a tall grenadier, who a gipsy had predicted would marry her. Agatha was a beauty too, though of quite a different order of beauty to that of her sisters, being of the medium height, and plump, with a noble forehead, arched in matchless symmetry by its oivn beautiful drapery of chestnut hair. Her complexion, we need scarcely say, Avas of the 112 MB. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. delicate pink of the wild-rose leaf, and her eyes of the bri^jhtest, most searching hazel. The tall grenadier could hardly have known what a beauty awaited him, or he would surely have come. Then Mrs. Almond, the grocer's wife, at Henfield, had jusu paid forfeit on Ruth, Dirtiest of the Dirty — rather than have so troublesome a young lady in her establishment. All the three daughters were thus at home, forming a complete party, but still a heavy tax on the six shillings a week, for the girls spent all their earnings in dress and decoration, gaudy bonnets, glass beads, and brass-eyed boots. It was, therefore, an important point with Mrs. Mustard, Dirty Xo. 1, to get some of them fastened on the Eom- fords if she could, and Mr. Lonnergan's imperious conduct favoured the design. Having, therefore, chaperoned Mrs. Somerville all round about the hous3, and now brought her to a stand-still in the magnificent drawing-room, she began sounding her on the important topic of servants, asking where ^Irs. Somerville would like her maid to sleep, and how many beds Mrs. Mustard should get ready for the rest of the domestics. Now this question was rather a poser, for Lucv had never had a maid, let alone an establishment of servants, having always lived in lodgings, where the people of the house did everythinu* for her. But, being a woman of ready wit, she parried the question by saying she really couldn't tell, so much depended upon her brother, Mr. Eomford, but she supposed they could get an occasional servant or two in the neighbourhood until they decided about bringing their own. AVhereupon Mrs. Mustard exultingly replied, " Oh dear, there could be no difficulty about that : there was herself and her three daughters, all of whom would be most happy to do anything in their power ; she " (Mrs. Mustard) " was not a professed cook, but she had lived in some great families, noble families, indeed she might say — Mr. Boyston, of Boyston, amongst the number, and her daughters were equal to all sorts of duties — indeed they were all quite finished servants, and could undertake any sort of work, but p'raps Mrs. Somerville would like to see them — if she would please to step into the break- fast-room, where there was a fire, she would bring them up to her," Mrs. Mustard leading the way to the indicated apartment. This was a comfortable-sized room, some eighteen feet by twenty, with a southern aspect, affording, with the aid of a fire, a much better climate than Mrs. Somerville had been enjoying while making the grand tour of the house. Moreover, it was not *' put awav," as the rest of the house was, having been got ready for the 'great Mr. Romford. And Mrs. Mustard having got Mrs. Somerville there, then closed the mahogany door and went away on her errand. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 113 Having- surveyed herself in a stately mirror over the richly- carved Carrara marble mantel-piece, and compared notes by a second look in a pannelled one between the windows, she came to the conclusion that, though she wanted a new bonnet, she was not looking far amiss, and would make some little sensation in Doubleimupshire. With this comfortable reflection she took a seat at the round table before the fire, and helping herself to an illustrated copy of " Rogers's Poems," began reading — '■' Oh could my mind, unfolded in my page. Enlighten climes, and mould a future age," ■while her thoughts were wandering amongst all the bonnet-shops in London. Meanwhile Mrs. Mustard having made a rapid descent into the lower regions, for the kitchens were underground, found all her elegant daughters clustered and anxious to hear the news, so much so indeed, that they would hardly listen to her exhortations to get themselves ready to go upstairs to see the lady. Indeed, the command caused an evident disappointment, for they thought Mr. Romford Avas a bachelor, and hoped accordingly. Mrs. Mustard seeing this, rectified her error by announcing, "No ! no ; he's not married ! She's only his sister ! but come quick, one of you ; come up stairs, and see the lady." Now it so happened that, upon this occasion, Dirtiest of the Dirty was the cleanest of the three, having on an only three days' worn blue-and-white striped print, with magenta-coloured stock- ings, and being decidedly the least marketable of the three, Mrs. Mustard was glad to show her first, so giving her uncapped head a rub over with the old joint-stock hair-brush, she told her to pull her shoes up at the heel, and follow her, and to mind ourtsy and speak civil. As they ascended the staircase together, she charged her to assent to all she (Mrs. Mustard) said, and by no means to let out anything about the low places she had been in, particularly to keep the sea-side visit quiet. With these and similar injunctions they reached the door of the room that held the great lady, and, a respectful knock being answered by a "Come in ! " the two entered, and curtsied to our fair friend. '* My daughter Ruth," said Mrs. Mustard, whereupon Dirtiest of the Dirty curtsied again, and Mrs. Somerville began questioning her just as the managers of theatres used to question her herself when she sought an engagement. Dirty acquitted herself so well, that Lucy, albeit no great admirer of her own sex — indeed she used to say that the only thing that reconciled her to being a woman was that she could not by any possibility have to marry one — was- 114 MR. FACET BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. very much taken with her. Dirty, from her own account, could do anything, — wash, sew, darn, mend, get up fine Hnen, and all. Of course, when asked if she could dress hair, she replied "No, but she could learn." Lucy then adroitly took hold of the hair-dressing deficiency to disparage her other acquirements, observing, she was afraid she must have her own maid down, when Mrs. Mustard, fearing she was going to lose her market, asked Mrs. Somerville if she wouldn't be pleased to take her daughter on trial, mother Mustard well knowing that Dirtiest of the Dirty would soon make up for a little deficiency of service if there was any money or jewellery left, lying about. And the trial system suiting Lucy best, after due- deliberation and many inquiries into Dirty's middling morals, Lucy said, that as her stay at Beldon Hall was very uncertain, and her maid was visiting a sick mother in Somersetshire, she would just see what her daughter could do, but that she would have to keep herself to herself, and be extremely neat and tidy in her person, not wearing flash or tawdey dresses, or going gossiping^ about the country, or letting people come to the Hall — adding, that if Euth conducted herself properly, it might be the means of getting her into a high situation. And Mrs. Mustard, shark-like, having thus succeeded with one- daughter, then broached the subject of another, observing that she- had a daughter quite equal to the housemaid-work, but Mrs. Somerville, who had been conning the matter over, while she was. airing her eyes with — " could my mind, unfolded in my page," put a peremptory veto upon that, observing that her mother was. coming next day, and that Mrs. Mustard and Kuth would be quite equal to all that was required for the present. She then told Euth to go and heat a poker, and light a fire in her bed-room, whither,, accompanied by old Dirty, she then proceeded, walking through, the stately hall and corridors with great satisfaction. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 115 CHAPTER XXI. mr. proudlock, the keeper. — lord loxxergax and his sox, co3i:!j:oxly called the hoxourable loyetix loxxergax. ^Vhile Mr. Romford's adopted sister, Mrs. Somerville, was thus makiDg the tour of the fine house, friend Facej, on his part, was at work reconnoitring the out-of-door accommodation of the place. His fine natural instinct soon led him to the stables, partially concealed though they were from the north front of the Hall by a line of magnificent ground- sweeping cedars. These premises were quite in keeping with the mansion, haying been built by the snme noble lord who surmounted the old Hall with the dish-coyer. Indeed some said it was the apparent inequality of the increased house and the old stables that made his lordship think it necessary to rebuild the latter entirely, though the old stables were in reality a great deal larger and better than anything lie himself wanted. There is often a laudable desire among noblemen and gentlemen to make their places as complete as they can for their successors, regardless of the selfish aphorism, that " posterity has done nothing for them." Be that, howeyer, as it may, friend Facey presently stood in the centre of a yery magnificent pile of building. He needed no cicerone to induct him into the arrangements. There stood the stables forming three sides of a square, open in ft'ont, with a lofty archway in the centre leading to the places of deposit behind. On the right he read, as it were, the words " stables, straw-house, hay -house," in the centre again the Avords " saddle-room, harness-room, stables, and straw-house," while large folding-doors on the left proclaimed an infinity of standing-room for carriages. Aboye the whole line were granaries and apartments for seryants. " A'-a-ry good, v-a-ry good," ejaculated our friend, as with a stick-propped chin he stood straddling, contemplating the edifice. " Y-a-ry good indeed," added he, as his little pig eyes had taken in the whole arrangement. If it had but stood at Allington Banks or Greenhope, he thought, it would haye been the most conyenient residence a master of hounds could possibly haye had ; might haye reached eyery coyer in the country without lying out, that lyiug out being a terrible bug-bear to Mr. Facey, on account both of the expense and the irregular habits of Chowey and Swig. Howeyer, Mr. Romford consoled himself by thinking that his lordship would be yery sly if he got any rent out of him. He I 2 116 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. then proceeded to inspect the interior of the premises, beginning of course on the right, so as to end at the less-interesting portion of the building containing the coach-houses. While thus engaged, a foot-fall sounded behind, and looking round, Mr. Eomford confronted the before-mentioned Mr. Proudlock, the keeper, a big blaok-eyed, black-haired, bushy-whiskered man of some five-and- thirty years of age or so. There was no mistaking his calling : his billycock hat, his baggy black velveteen coat, his lusty leggings, above all, his half-insolent air, proclaimed what he was. Proudlock was a man whose supposed strength and stature had procured him admission into good places, but whose bad conduct had immediately lost him them again, sometimes almost as soon as obtained. He stood six feet three, stretchable into nearly four with his navvy-nailed boots and upright bearing. He was large- chested, full-limbed, and broad generally, and, having been drilled as a militiaman, had a very erect, imposing appearance, just the sort of man to salute a coming party of shooters, or to take the lead at a lattue. He was, however, such a mischievous, lying bully— always back- biting and getting his employers into hot water — that he came tumbling down the ladder of servitude till he finally landed among the grand body of poachers. His size, however, which was a recommendation as a keeper, was a disadvantage to him here, for he could be easily identihed, and that at a great distance, and moreover the exertion was more than he liked ; so, after two or three unsatisfactory appearances at petty sessions, he relinquished the trigger for a time, and took to showing himself as a giant, in conjunction with the celebrated Pig-faced Lady ; but the confinement of the caravan was too great for him, and, the engagement having terminated, he again sought the freedom of the fields. He was then to be had very cheap, — twelve shillings a week, a house and coals, with two couple of rabbits, being all he asked ; and that being within the scope of Lord Lovetin's means, especially as just at the time he had every expectation of Mr. Emmerson taking Beldon Hall, whereby he would have got rid of an immense indoor expense, after very mature consideration he allowed Mr. Lonnergan to engage him at that remuneration ; his lordship, however, stipulating that though Proudlock might have his coals led by the antediluvian horse that drew them to the gardens, yet Proudlock must pay for the fuel himself, that being, as his lordship truly said, the best means of checking an undue consumption ; and Lonnergan and his lordship carried on a correspondence that would have filled a number of " Bailey's Sporting Magazine " on the subject. THE PIG-FACED LADY. [P. 116. MB. FACEY liOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 117 Afc the time of our story, Proudlock had been a year and a half at Beldon Hall, dnrhig which time he had ascertained the exact leno-th of Mr. Lonnergan's foot, as well as the ways and means of all the surrounding country. Lonnergan was fond of woodcocks, and Proudlock was too happy to supply them. Mrs. Lonnergan liked hare-soup, and Proudlock knew how to snare them on some one else's property. Though often caught, he was always ready with an excuse, how he had followed that scoundrel. Jack Mason, off their manor on to the preserve he was found upon, or was \jing perdu to see who came to take up the trapped pheasant on the other side of the hedge. Altogether, though he was much disliked and strongly suspected, yet no one cared to tackle with a nobleman's servant, especially one notoriously supported by the deputy nobleman, " Lord " Lonnergan, as the agent was called. So Proudlock strutted, and swaggered, and vapoured, and bullied, always presuming on his great size and proportions, and, though often threatening, never coming into actual collision with any one. Independent Jimmy, indeed, was the only man in the country who had ever stood fairly up to him ; but the generous giant said he refrained from touching him on the score of inequality of size, and that people would accuse him of having crushed a worm. Jimmy, however, who was veiy handy with his fists, hearing of this, then addressed him through the usual medium of com- munication, — viz., the pugilistic column in " Bell's Life in London," — stating that Independent Jimmy was ready to fight the Big Bully of Beldon Hall for three pounds a side, in a roped ring at the back of the Firfield station, any day between the coming of the 9*30 a.m. train, and the going of the south mail ; but Proudlock did not take any notice of this either, merely observing in general company that a nobleman's servant could not demean himself by fighting with a 'bus-man. Such, then, was the genius who encountered Mr. Romford on his visit of inspection of the Beldon Hall stables ; and, as next to a bit of pink, a bit of velveteen came nearest home to the heart of our hero, lie returned the keeper's semi-military salute with a " How are you ? " and a wave of his right hand, as though he had known him before. Thus emboldened, Proudlock made him a bow, observing that he was glad to see Mr. Romford amongst them, and hoped ho Avould have good sport. "Thank'ee," said Romford — " thank'ce ; " adding, "that depends a good deal upon gentlemen of your cloth, however. I know you arc a good feller, and will do all in your power to promote it. " CertauiJ//,'" replied Proudlock, with an emphasis — "cer- 118 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. tainlj," repeated he, as though he liad never shot a fox in his hfe, or turned down a bag-man either. " Not at all great fox-preservers down here, I believe," observed Mr. Romford, pretending to know a good deal more thau he really did. " Well (hum), there are (hum) scaly people in all countries," observed Mr. Proudlock ; " but, upon the whole, I should (hum) say they are (haw) as good here as elsewhere." Proudlock's preservation depended altogether upon the payment of his fees, for which he sent in his bill at the end of the season, as regular as a boot or shoe maker, — so much for a litter, so much for a find, so much for stopping or " sto])ing " as he spelt it. But, though Mr. Romford asked about foxes, he was quite as anxious to know about pheasants, — who was tenacious, who was extra fierce, who took it easy, and who might be poached upon with impunity. So, in the course of a running dissertation on racks and mangers, boxes and stalls, Mr. Romford managed to blend a very useful inquiry into the particulars of the country generally, keeping foxes apparently to the fore, but at the same time casting about for general information. Having criticised the stables, with their appurtenances, and pro- nounced them extremely good, our friend and his cicerone now found themselves before the spacious coach-houses on the left- hand side of the building, a few paces in front of which Mr. Romford stationed himself, as if to stare them out of countenance : the idea floating uppermost in his mind at the moment being, that they would make very capital kennels ; and a further investigation and division of the whole into four satisfied him on that point. And, having got on so well with Proudlock, he saw no reason why he should not take his opinion on that point. " I say," observed he, looking him steadily in the face — " I say, don't you think these coach-houses might very easily be converted into kennels ? " Proudlock drew breath and bit his thick lip, for he well knew that if there was one thing his noble master, Lord Love tin, was more particular about than another, it was having the Hall and offices kept in perfect apple-pie order ; not that his lordship cared about seeing them, but he liked to know that they were so, and that he could occupy them at a moment's notice whenever he chose to return to England. It was that feeling that prevented his letting Mrs. Emmerson have the cut-pile carpet. He was afraid she would wear it down below the orthodox standard of other things, and so derange the grand order of uniformity. It had been down some time. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 119 " Well, what do you think ? " asked Facey, seeing Proudlock rather craned at the question. " Oh, it could be altered easy enough," replied the man of powder and shot. " The only question in my mind was, whether Ms lordship — that is to say, Mr. Lonnergan — might like it or not." " And who's Mr. Lonnergan ? " demanded Facey, it being the iirsfc mention he had heard of the name. " Oh, Mr. Lonnergan," replied the keeper, in the deferential tone, due to a man in authority — " Oh, Mr. Lonnergan, you know, is my lord's representative here, — he and his son, Mr. Lovetin Lonnergan, at least ; and we never do anything without consulting one or other of them." The fact was, Lonnergan had been the last lord's agent, and had hardly been able to realise the fact that he (Lonnergan) was not the real owner of the property, and the present Lord Viscount an intruder. *• And where do they live ? " asked Mr. Romford. " x\t Flush House, near Bury St. Bees, about nine miles from here," replied the retired giant, pointing in the direction in which it lay. " Well, then, I'll tell you what ; you go over there, with my compliments, in the morning, and say that, as I've taken the place, I s'pose there'll be no objection to my makin' a few little temporary alterations, which I'll restore before I leave." " Yes-'ir," said Proudlock, adding, " shall I say what they are, sir ? " '* Well, no," replied Eomford. " Xo ; you see I can't 'zaclly know myself ; but just say, generally, tritiin' alterations — triflin' alterations." " Just so," replied Mr. Proudlock, who now saw the give-an- inch-take-an-ell principle upon which the inquiry had to proceed. And, after a few more inquiries and inspirations, the friends separated, each with a high opinion of the other. It was a wise step on the part of friend Romford sending Proudlock over to Flush House, for it conciliated Mr. Lonnergan, and procured an answer from that promising youth, commonly called the Honourable Lovetin Lonnergan, whose father wiis away, that very materially assisted Mr. Romford's further proceedings, namely, that Mr. Lonnergan had no instructions from Lord Lovetin on the subject, but that as a friend of the family, " one of them," as he familiarly said, Lovetin Lonnergan had no doubt Mr. Romford might do as he liked. And, of course, the first thing he liked was to convert the aforesaid coach-houses into kennels, which he did in the most liberal way, by not only 120 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. employing Lord Lovetin's joiners, bnt making the estate supply him with the necessaiy material, Facey observing that it would be none the worse for his work after it was done. So, having made himself two capital lodging-rooms with airing-yards in front, he set up his boiler behind, and converted the harness-room into a> feeding-house. And here for a word on the Lonnergans. Lord Lonnergan was one of a now nearly bygone generation,, whose antiquity is proclaimed by their dress. He wore a large puffy shirt-frill and a puddingey white tie with flowing ends, a. step collared buff* vest, and a blue coat with bright buttons. He had long adhered to tights and Hessians, and it was only when he found himself left alone in his glory that he put his fat legs into trousers. He was a porcupine-headed little man, who tied his cravat so tight as to look as if he were going to throttle himself. He was a short, sallow, plethoric, wheezing, scanty- w^hiskered man, with eyes set very high up in his head, like garret windows ; a long unmeaning-looking face, surmounted with a nose like a pear. His mouth was significant of nothing except an aptitude for eating. As we said before, he had a voluminous double-cliin. He drew his great warmingpan-like watch up from his fob with a massive kitchen-jack-like gold chain, to which was attached a bunch of seals, the largest and most striking Avhereof had been purchased with the surplus cash from a tea-service testimonial presented to Mrs. Lonnergan by the tenants on Lord Lumbago's Lubberey estate in Easyshire, and contained around a plough the significant motto, "Rents should never Rise." And rents certainly never did rise with Lonnergan, for he would always rather excite tliC landlords to compassion, than urge the tenants to activity ; still he had some capital forms of agreement to the fulfilment of which he never attended. Of course he did not use the " rent should never rise " seal when he wrote to any of his employers, but another butterpat-like production with his initials " J. L.,'* John Lonnergan, cut in the open-hearted, undisguised capitals of the old engravers. No writhing hieroglyphics for him. He had lived in good times, when gentlemen were gentlemen, and trusted their land agents implicitly, never troubling them- selves with farming or interfering with their tenants' occupations in any shape or way, taking everything for granted, including both facts and figures. Still Lonnergan was a noted old screw in his own affairs, never missing a chance anywhere, and always on the watch for discount. He was too good a judge to receive tenant-farmer testimonials himself, but Mrs. Lonnergan was open to the reception of any number — vases, inkstands, butter-coolers. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 121 fruit-stands, &c. A guest leaving his house one dark night mistook his lordship for the servant in the passage, and gave him a shilhng, saying, " There, there's a shihing for you, and mind your master doesn't get hold of it." Lord Lonnergan did not encourage his son, Lovetin Lonnergan (so called, of course, after the last lord, who was his godfather), in anything like show or extravagance, but endeavoured to hold him on stead'ily in his own line, and make his father's large accumula- tions still more. " Stick to the shop, and the shop will stick to you." " Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves." " AYhen has a man. got enough money, Lovetin ? " " When he has got a little more than he has," were aphorisms of almost daily inculcation by old Lonnergan ; but, somehow, Love- tin Lonnergan did not like the doctrine, and longed for a little more freedom and independence. Not that Lovetin was extravagant ; on the contrary, he neither shot, nor coursed, nor hunted, but he would like to ride about in a chaise. Eiding about in a chaise was, he thought, the summit of all earthly happiness. He always looked upon Independent. Jimmy's friend, lolling along in his carriage, as the happiest of human beings, and longed to emulate him. Lovetin Lonnergan, " the Honourable," as he Avas called, was the exact counterpart of his father, making allowance of course for the difference of dress and the disparity of years. The same long, lugubrious, scanty-whiskered, sallow face, with the garret- window eyes, the same incipient pear nose, and the same absence of expression about the mouth. In lieu of the warming-pan with the jack-chain and the butter- pat-like appurtenances, he had a smart Albert chain attached to a small Geneva watch ; and instead of excommunicating his chin with his tie as his excellent father did, he gave its looming ju-oportions ample latitude over the turn-down collar and diminu- tive neck-string of the day. Lovetin Lonnergin was now just turned of five-and-twenty, and had plenty of young ladies after him, plenty of mammas sounding liis praises, but Lord Lonnergan was difficult to please, always asserting that it was utterly impossible for his son Lovetin to marry other than "a lady of fortin." Lovetin Avas proud of his liither's wealth, and fond of expatiating upon its amount, not unfrequently winding up his discourses with a shake of the head and the filial ejaculation of "Ah, now, if father umdd Imt die !"" This youth, becoming a semi-hero in our story, we have intro- duced him more at large than we should otherwise have done. Let us now go into Beklon Hall, and see about something to eat. 122 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. CHAPTER XXIL THE INTERNAL ECONOMY OF BELDON HALL. — GOODHEARTED GREEN AGAIN. Part of Lucy's — we beg pardon again — Mrs. Somerville's luggage consisted of the remains of her larder at the "West-end Swell," viz., half a loaf of brown bread, three-quarters of a loaf of white, a pound and a half of pork chops, a slice of leathery cheese, a nip of tea, and some fivepenny sugar, Lucy observing that it was of no use leaving anything behind her. And, indeed, it was lucky she brought something, for an inspection of the Beldon Hall larder would lead to the supposition that the Dirties lived entirely upon air. There was not even the wretched bare shoulder-blade that generally seems to act the part of scarecrow in the most destitute of houses. Two eggs and a bunch of thyme was all the j)ro vender the larders of the proud Hall produced. Still there never was a place yet where drink was not to be had, and Facey having now returned to the Hall, and found Lucy making herself quite at home in the breakfast-room, produced a half-crown piece, and told her to send somebody out for a quart of ale, and the rest of the money in gin, so that they might have their dinners as soon as possible, for Facey always dined when he was hungry without waiting for any specific hour of the day. And while Dirty Xo. 1 was busy cooking the pork chops, and Dirtiest of the Dirty was laying the cloth, Lucy lionised our master over the magnificent mansion, taking much the same line {IS old Dirty had done. Friend Facey was greatly impressed with the magnitude of his venture, and almost doubted whether he Avas equal to the occasion. He wished that he mightn't have put his foot in it. A house, he said, was a consuming animal, and people Avould think he was deuced rich, living in such a large one. He must be prudent and circumspect. " X was expensive, and soon became poor ; Y was the wise man who kept want from the door " — he inwardly chanted. And having dined, he whified his pipe and sipped his gin, and at length retired to bed, full of caution and prudential considerations. Morning, however, and the return of Proudlock from Flush House, with the satisfactory reply from Lovetin Lonnergan, that Mr. Romford was to do as he liked, brought him confidence, and taking the Honourable at his word, he forthwith began to exercise MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 123 his privilege in the most summary manner, for finding there was an excellent cellar of wine, he sent for Tom Hooper, the black- smith, and bid him pick the lock, telling Dirty No. 1, in Hooper's hearing, to be 'ticldarly careful in preserving the bottles in order that he might restore an equal quantity of wine when he left. As there was a large stock of champagne, which Facey said would not improve by keeping, Lucy and he indulged in it most freely, Facey acquiring,' as he said, very gentlemanly ideas with the beverage. So much so, indeed, that after a pint, or perhaps three-quarters of a bottle, he did not feel so much out of his element at Beldon Hall as he did on his first coming. Lucy on her part took to grandeur quite naturally, and Dirty No. 1, having supplied her as well with the " Beldon Hall " seal, as a good stock of coroneted paper (kept ready against Lord Lovetin's contem- plated return, which he always said might take place any day,) she difiTused her orders freely through the land. London, however, is the real place for unhesitating compliance with specious orders, tmd thither Mrs. Somerville directed her chief attentions, patronis- ing all the shops and establishments that she used to envy and covet, and look upon as utterly impossible, while living with Mr. 8ponge in Jermyn Street, Haymarket. She reviewed her wardrobe, estimating its capabilities by her improved condition — sister of a master of foxhounds — mistress of a nobleman's mansion — and, finding it rather deficient, she wrote off to Madame D * "^ *, of B ■^" ^- '•■ Street, for sundry semi- mourning dresses, Paramatta twill, glace silk, with flowers, black velvet with black satin, jet ornaments, and other articles, all of which came down with the usual alacrity of high-sounding orders. One obsequious milliner indeed directed her bonnet-box to " The Honourable Mrs. Somerville," an addition that caused Indepen- dent Jimmy to observe, as he handed it down from the bus to Dirtiest of the Dirty, " Sink, ar didn't ken yeer mistress had a handle tir her name." Handle, however, or no handle, things came down with the utmost despatch — wonderful alacrity — not only the outward and visible articles of dress, but the more delicate items of Edith night-dresses and under attire. When the gentlemanly ideas were in, Facey did not so much grudge the orders, but with the evaporation of the chami)agne came prudent thoughts and fears for the future. Still, as Mrs. Somerville ordered them all in her own name, he consoled himself with the reflection that he could not be made liable, and didn'D know but it was just as well to have a handsome well-dressed woman about the house as a dowdy. He only hoped that none of the Heavyside Hunt, or any of his promiscuous acquaintance. 124 Mil. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. would come and expose her — of that, however, he must take hife chance, as he had chanced many a difficulty before. And, in truth, she required a refit, or rather, perhaps, an out6t, for, without going at all into the minutifr of her wardrobe, it must be evident to every one that what did extremely well at the ''West-end Swell" would be very insufficient for Beldon Hall. Nor, considering the precarious nature of her tenure, can she be much blamed for taking advantage of her opportunity. '• Who can observe the careful ant, And not provide for future want ? " thought Lucy, as she again applied the key to the drawer in the library table containing the coroneted note-paper with the talis- manic words " Beldon Hall " in gilt characters on the top, in order that she might again test the liberality of the Londoners for shoes, scents, gloves, French cambrics, embroideries, cosmetics, and miscellaneous articles generally. Mrs. Glitters — now Mrs. Sidney Benson, we should observe — arri^•ed in due time, being as anxious for a run into the country as her daughter had been. "When independent Jimmy met her at the Firfield Station, in her large hoop and small stock of linen, he thought she was Mrs. Somerville's lady's-maid, and told her " her missis was arl safe at the Harl." Facey was rather disappointed when he saw what he had imported, for Mrs. Benson, being only accustomed to dress those who strutted upon the stage, not doing any " My name is Nerval "- ing herself, had none of the easy self-possession that distinguished her elegant daughter. However, Facey consoled himself with the reflection that she would not be much seen, while her homely air and attire might enable him to get more work out of her than he might otherwise have done had she been fine. If she looked after the Dirties, and Lucy after the stables when he was away, the arrangement might answer and not be very onerous ; but he dreaded the imfiammation of his weekly bills, and, as he said, " was more afraid of the old lady's appetite than he was of her drinkite." This latter requirement Lord Lovetin's cellar would supply, but the imperative butcher's bills would be his. There being no plant or stock-in-trade belonging to the Lark- spur Hunt for Mr. Romford to take to, he had to make up an establishment as well and as quickly as he could. So soon, there- fore, as he got a bargain struck with the Doubleimupshireites, he wrote to Goodhearted Green, detailing his present position and equine wants, urging Goodheart to supply the latter as quickly as he could, adding if he had not the exact ticket, to send as near as MB. FACEY ROMFORIfS BOUNDS. 125 possible ; and Romford concluded by saying that he would be jo^lad to see Goodheart down at his new residence, Beldon Hall, in Doubleimupshire, where he would mount him and find wear and tear for his teeth for a w^eek or ten days, whenever he liked. Ooodheart's great bosom swelled with honest emotion, for he had recently sent away some most remarkable malefactors — horses that kicked, horses that struck, horses that flew at people like tigers, horses that nobody could shoe, horses that nobody could saddle when they were shod, horses that nobody could ride when they were shod and saddled — some very notorious savages, in fact, as Mr. Rarey would say. " Oh dear ! oh dear I " exclaimed he, stamping his foot and smiting his forehead, as the concluding paragraph of Romford's letter touched him in the quick. " Oh dear I oh dear ! If I had but got this last week, I could have lit him with such a stud as would have astonished the natives. There's Bounding Ben, to be sure," continued Goodheart, thinking over what he had left. ** There's Bounding Ben — he's hu]} to sixteen stun ; but he's uncertain in his boundin"', or he wouldn't be called Bounding Ben. Ah ! if I 'ad but ^kept PuU-Devil-puU-Baker !— he'd ha' shone conspikiously brilliant. Neck-or-Xotliing, too, would ha' bin a grand oss for Mr. Romford. But it's no use cryin' over spilt milk," continued Mr. Green, tinkling his little yard bell to summon his head man, Aaron Peacock, to his presence. That worthy now emerged from his hiding-place, and came shuffling up the yard with the usual groom-like, crab-like action. He was a little, weasely, ginnified-looking man, with scarcely a hair on his head, or an ounce of flesh on his bones, but keen, twinkling, little grey eyes, that penetrated a horse in an instant. He looked right into them, as it were. He seemed to dress up to the character of Peacock, being gay and gaudy in his costume, and very various : scarlet tie, Lincoln green vest, lilac shirt, baggy breeches that had once been white and tight, yellow leather leggings, with mother-of-pearl buttons. Though he was not an original liar — could not lead the gallop himself, yet he was a capital coadjutor, and would swear to any- thing that Goodheart said ; so, what between Goodheart's generous volubiHty and Aaron's shakes of the head and solemn sententious sayings, a youngster was pretty sure to be handsomely cheated between them. Let us now see them together. " Ah, here's that big Mr. Romford written for osses," said Good- heart to Aaron, flourishing the letter, as the little man got up to his master. " So-o," replied Aaron, drawing his breath, adding, " 'ow many may he please to want ? " 120 ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. " Oh, ten or a dozen," replied Green, as if it was quite an im- possible number. " Harn't that in the 'ole stables/' observed Aaron — " leastways, not fit to go." " Not with such a robustious giant as Mr. Romford," assented Ooodhearfc, preparing to take a stroll of the premises, more with a view of arranging his thoughts than in the expectation of finding horses. The yard was spacious — larger than it looked — for there were supplementary stables at the low end belonging to houses in Sylvia Street, which Goodheart let off in dull times to one Roughhead, a cab-master, and altogether he had standing for forty or fifty horses. Still, the exigencies of an unusually open season had depleted them, and lie had not above twelve or fourteen horses in hand at the time of Mr. Romford's sudden demand, and these -were mostly of the Aveak, washy order — good flat-catchers, but good for nothing for work — all the real "playful rogues," as Goodheart called them, being away, practising their vagaries in the provinces, much to the horror of huntsmen and masters of hounds therein. There is nothing so formidable as a rash young man on an intemperate horse, for he thinks he must ride as well to distinguish himself as to get his change out of his quadruped. Hence, he is always in the midst of the hounds — always rasping on, pulling and hauling, and taking a ten-acre field to turn his brute about in. These are the boys that baffle the sport. The horses, as we said before, were almost all good flat-catchers, well calculated to please the eye, which Green knew was half the battle with the youngsters, and moreover, like the aforesaid Bounding Ben, were generally christened with high-sounding names diametrically opposite to their respective qualities. Thus, '* Everlasting," a handsome sixteen hands horse, with black points,, and all the shape and strength necessary for a weight-carrying hunter, slackened his pace as soon as ever he got upon rising ground, and gradually subsided into a walk as he ascended a hill. He couldn't go up one, so it was no use trying to force him. " Hearty Harry," again, wanted no end of codlin and linseed- teaing ; " Twice-a-Week " would hardly come out once a fortnight ; while the *' Glutton " looked as if he had lived altogether upon toothpicks and water. "That Boundin' Ben oss is most like big Mr. R.'s work,"" observed Peacock. " Yes, he is," assented Goodheart — " yes, he is. Pnt him in as one." " ' Op Along,' then," suggested Aaron. " Why, yes, he's a neat oss — a takin' oss — with a very high bred MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 127 determined hair about him," replied Goodhearfc : " but he's lame of tliree legs, and not very sound on the fourth." " Only to lame the fourth, and make him all right," observed Aaron. " Well, that might do," assented Goodheart ; " but we musn't call him * Op Along ' you know ; call him ' True Blue,' or ' Bell Metal,' or something of that sort." " Ah, ' Bell Metal's ' the better name — a very taking name. Bean him, and call him ' Bell Metal.' He'll be No. 2. Now for another. Well there's ' The Brick,' " suggested Aaron. " The Brick," repeated Goodheart, for he had had so many of that name that he could not hit off the horse at the moment. " The brown oss with the star, and the dead side to his mouth — not the nutmeg grey that we bought of the soldier hotficer,'" explained Peacock. •' Ah, that soldier officer's 'orse was a do," sighed Goodheart ; " does nothin' but kick in the stable, and won't pass a wheeled vehicle of any sort or kind without scrubbin' his rider's leg up against it, to see which is 'ardest. To be sure he might do for a servant's oss," continued he; "servants arn't so 'tickler 'bout their legs as their masters ; besides, there are no vehicles in the hunting field for him to get to and scrub against. Oh, I would say christen him ' Perfection,' and send him," said Goodheart. " And ' The Brick ' ? " asked Aaron. " And ' The Brick,' too," assented Goodheart. " His only fault is that he won't face water, but a whip can always go round by a bridge, or cross in a boat, or keep out of the way of water altogether. Then how about ' Ohver Twist ? ' " continued Good- heart, pleased at the progress he was making. " Oliver's not a bad oss," replied Aaron, " barrin' that his fore- quarters are rather at wariance with his hind, but it don't make much matter which end of an oss gets through an edge fust, so long as they both land on the right side together at last." " True," assented Goodheart — " true ; put him in for another. How many's that ? " continued he, telhng them off on his fingers. Ben one, Op — that's to say, Bell Metal two, the Brick three, Perfection four, Oliver five, and say — Everlastinar or Twice-a- Week six." "Oh,Twice-a-Week will do nothin' for nobody," observed Aaron, with a shake of his head. " Better send the Glutton than him." •' But he's such a hungry - looking scarecrow," replied Goodheart. "Then say Heverlastin'," rejoined Aaron. "He's 'andsomc enough with his great harms, magnific shoulders, and lean 'and- sume 'ead." 123 MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. '* 'Andsome enough/' assented Goodhearfc, " but he's more fit for some bathing- or watering-place buck, who wants to do the show- off of the meet and the streets, than such a ramming, cramming, customer as this Mr. E." And while yet they stood debating wliether to send the Glutton or Everlating, a blue and red telegram-boy came dribbling down tlie yard, fumbling for something in his leather-case as he came. " Ah, now, here's mischief ! " exclaimed Goodheart, advancing and taking the note from the boy, muttering as he opened it, ^' Somebody's got his skull split or been carried triumphantly over the moon. No, all right ! " continued he, swinging joyfully round on his heel — " All right !— all right ! only Placed Joe [late Pull-Devil] been too many for Mr. Martin Muffington — only Placid Joe been too many for Mr. Martin Muffington. What could he expect, a little Titmouse of a man like him getting on to an 'orse fit to carry an 'ouse ! Told him he wouldn't suit him, but he would 'ave 'im. Thought he knew better than me. Many of these young gents do." Goodheart then read the telegram again. Thus it ran : — 3Ir. Martin Muffixgton, at the White Swax Inn, Showoffborougii TO Mr. Green, Brown Street, Bagnigge Wells Road, London. ^'That l)rute. Placid Joe, has no more mouth than a hull. He's carried me right into the midst of the hounds, and nearlij annihilated the huntsman. I ivill send him haclc It/ the 9 "30 a.m. train to morrow, and tvon't pay you a halfpenny for his hire.'''' '* Ah, well, all right," said Goodheart, " will have to pay his expenses both ways, at all events." And here Ave may observe that Goodhearted Green behaved well in the matter, for he didn't want Martin to have him ; but Martin, seeing the horse's name, " Placid Joe," put conspicuously up in black and white letters on a board in front of his stall, became enamoured of him, and attributed Green's objections to letting him have him to another cause, namely, his wanting to keep Joe for somebody else. So Martin would have him, though we daresay if Green had made similar objections to Muffinton having Placid Joe under the name of " PuU-Devil-pull-Baker," he would have been equally anxious, Muffington having the vanity to think that he could ride anything. The fact was the Baker was only placid when he was either ground down with work or " Earified," but as soon as ever the rarifaction wore off he was just like an uniced glass of champagne — not good to be taken till he was iced again. MR. FACET EOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 129 Still he was just the horse for Mr. Romford, a sixteeii-haiids bay, blood-like, and handsome, with great substance, and plenty of liberty. Ererlasting and he were as handsome as horses could well be, with the most "opposite qualities, the Baker being as hard as the other was soft. Everlasting, however, was such a gay deceiver, and Mr. Romford had so many opportunities of placing him advantageously, that Mr. Green determined to send him instead of Bell Metal. Having thus made up his mind, he retired into his little den of an office and poured forth all his hopes and fears upon paper to Facey, beginning at the top of a large sheet, and going right though to the end of the fourth page, with one •continuous paragraph, full of the flow of the milk of human kind- ness, regrets, promises, hopes, and expectations. How, if he had known only three days before, he could have suited Mr. Romford to a T, but how that the season was then at its height, and every- thing with the slightest pretention to hunting was caught up in an instant, but how that many of his stud wouldn't suit every- body, and, as sure as ever anything came back worth its keep, it should be sent off direct without a moment's delay to Beldon Hall in Doubleimupshire, while others should follow as fast as they €Ould be procured ; and the ominous letter, equal to two pages of this work, concluded by a grateful acknowledgment of the com- pliment Mr. Romford had paid Green by asking him to Beldon Hall, where he assured him he would visit him before the end of the season, for he felt a real and sincere interest in his distin- guished customer's comfort and convenience. Never, indeed, had he known any one in whom he took so great an interest. And Placid Joe returning as advised, the next day's post ledo;o, who wished to deter Miss Agues de Flouiicey from thiiikin*;- 4»f him. '* He's such au ugly man," said Miss Agnes, goiug ou the run- ning-down tack also. ''"l shouldn't say he was ugly, ignes,"' rejoined Mrs. Joseph Large — "plain man, hut pleasant. He has a good deal to say lor himself." ''A good deal of money, I suppose," sneered Miss Cumbeiiedge, as if she was quite above any mercenary consideration. '' He looks like a great, rich man,'' observed little Miss Ellerby, who, pleading guilty to twenty-five (as she was in reality thirty- three), would have had no objection to have him. Still, notwithstanding these expressions of opinion from the few, it would have been extremely difficult to arrive at any satisfactory conclusion from the many, as to Mr. Eomford's character and qualifications — his independent manner, coupled with his reputed vast possessions, confusing, if not misleading the judgment. Here, again, if the parties had only known that he was a mere hound-stealing, penniless adventurer, they would have had no hesitation whatever in the matter. "Great clown," or "great lout " would have been the verdict. As it was, however, they seemed rather to concur with Independent Jimmy in thinking that he was not a " man of much blandishment." But having seen him in the house, let us now follow him to the field, teapot- handle-maker, company, and all. " To horse I — to horse ! " is now the cry. CHAPTER XXYI. A FICTITIOUS FOX. Mr. Facey Romford's substantial figure under the handsome portico of Pippin Priory had a very salutary influence on Daniel 8wig, who Avas just trotting his hounds gaily back to the bottle, unable any longer to resist its seductive influence. He had had three glasses already, and another would in all probability have made him revert to the glorious days when he was the "Hurl of Scamperdale's Daniel I '* to the disparagement of his service with our blaster. Xot but that he was a great deal better done by than he was with the Heavyside Hunt, but still the recollection of the Hurl, and the contrast with Facey were some- times too much fur Daniel's sensitive, excitalde temjicrament. 154 MR. FACEY l{O3IF0BiyS HOUNDS. ChoAvey, on the other hand, was more cosmopolitan in his views. He was ready to praise any master with whom he had ever lived, provided he thought the praise would be likely to put a shilling- or two in his pocket. He, too, had done homage to the gin bottle, and between visits, had been composing his extraordinary proboscis, and casting about, looking at the field to see whose acquaintance he could claim, whom'he could compliment on a desperate leap with the Hather- stone, or remind that he had seen him swim a river, like a harm of tiie sea, with the Berkshire. Was he as hard a rider now ? Ingenious Chowey ! AVho could resist such soft sawder as that ? But to our meet. The plot had greatly thickened since Mr. Romford entered the Priory. Instead of the mole-catcher, the rat-catcher, the earth-stopper, the man with the three-year old filly in the breaking bridle, and the usual circus-like ring of pedestrians, there were groups of knowing sportsmen clustering here and there, following and inter- cepting the hounds when they moved. " What's that hound, huntsman ? " demanded a gentleman in scarlet, in a very hundred-pounds-a-year sort of voice. " Wich, sir ?*" replied Swig, Avith\a respectful touch of his new velvet cap, not knoAving what the inipiirer might be good for in the way of a tip, when tipping time came. "There, that, the lemon-pied one, just under your horse's head ! " ' " Oh, that's Comforter, sir. Comforter, good dog ! " continued 8wig, as Comforter looked up on hearing his name. " Ah, Comforter ; by the Cottesmore Combatant, isn't he ? " asked the gentlemen. " No, sir ; by the Burton Bellman. Bellman was by Lord Yar borough's Boisterous, Boisterous by the Cheshire Bluster, Bluster by the Bedale Buster by Sir Tatton Syke's Barbarous, Barbarous by the Rio-ht Honourable the Hurl of Scamperdale's Brilliant." So Swig shut the inquirer up with a perfect torrent of fabulous pedigree. Facey, who knew^ what they were after as well as they did themselves, paused, and looked on with a smile at their pointings, and winkings, and nudgings, feeling satisfied they could take no exception to his hounds. His horses might have some little peculiarities about them, but they were more mental than^ bodily defects, and clipping and shaving did all that the most scientific, self-sufficient stud groom could accomplish in the way of condi- tion. So he canie,'lowering his hat string, looking carefully into MB. FACET B03IF0RDS HOUNDS. 155 the crowd to see if there was any one who could blow him— any one who could knock the Turbot off its tail— any of the Heavy- sides or Gilroy set. Dash ifc ! that square cut wide-buttoned coat was uncommonly like Oliver Jogglebury's, thought he ; so were the boots, and the " GKXTLV, BLITHSUMK 1 leo-s, and the action. Dashed if Facsy didn't think it was (Hiver. By Jove ! what a go it would be if it were a nephew of old Jog's. 1 • r f Just then the alarming party turned round, and in lieu ot Oliver's dark, almost copper-coloured face, disclosed a nearly white one, with stubbly ginger whiskers, and white eyelashes. "Thank heavens, that's all right ! " gasped Mr. Romford, now relieved by the sii?ht. " Thank heavens, that's all right ! " But scarcely had he regained his composure, ere a pair of very 156 MR. FACET ROMFORD'^ HOUNDS. luxuriant, inward curling, jet-black whiskers, struck liim as im- possible to belong to any one but Colonel Baunerman. Couldn't be two such pairs in the world, thought Facey, and again his heart mounted to his mouth, as he remembered the trifle he ow^ed the Colonel on the Derby, and how he had warranted a three-legged horse to him as sound. Fortunately, however, our friend was again deceived. The whiskers belonged to Mr. Bradley Smith of Rushden, a member of the Larkspur Hunt, a gentleman not in the least like the blackleg Colonel. And Facey was again comforted. Fortune favoured the brave, he thought, so vaulting gaily over the light palisade that separated the green slope on which the Priory stood from the Park, he advanced confidently towards the parti-coloured crowd — now clustered about the pack — stiU culling and criticising their size, colour, and condition. The hounds now raised a half-melodious, half-rebellious sort of cry at Swig and Chowey, as our Master advanced, that as good as said, '' All yoa are only the servants that look after us, this is the boy that shows us sport." Some of the more independent then broke away altogether, jumping and frolicking towards Mr. Facey. "Gently, Blithsome ! " cried our Master, swinging his whip round as Blithsome wiped her paws right down his fine new coat- back. " Get away, you fool," added he, with a frown and stamp of his foot, as if Blithsome ought to know he had got his new coat on, as well as he himself did. At this juncture, up waddled his host in a pair of excruciatingly tight boots, and getting our Master familiarly by the handle, proceeded to push and steer him up to several groups of sports- men, presenting him to them at random. Mr. Blanton — Mr. Eomford, Mr. Brogdale — Mr. Romford, with such rapidity, that it was utterly impossible for Facey to follow him, so adopting the old poacher's advice to his son, of always blazing into the " brown on em," he gave two or three general aerial sweeps with his arm, as he kept sidling away for his horse. A little to the left of the pack walked the magnificent "Baker," late "Placid Joe," in all the pride of superlative condition, looking as demure as a Quaker, and as if he had never done anything wrong. He had, indeed, been greatly admired ; his size, his strength, his substance : and it seemed to be generally agreed that such a horse could not be procured under a couple of hundred guineas. Some said three hundred, but those were the boys who never gave more than thirty themselves. Then Mr. Facey having gained him, and thanked the man in charge for his trouble, which was all he was in the habit of doing, he swung himself into his saddle, and felt all the better for being MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 157 there. Drawing the thiu rein lie felt him lightly with his leg, and proceeded to pass on to the pack. ^leanAvhile his host had raised fresh recruits for the honour of presentation : and the old process, Mr. Kickton — Mr. Romford, Mr. Bullpig — Mr. Romford, w\as resumed. At length Mr. Face?, thinking he had been sufficiently ex- hibited, got his horse short by the head, and, hallooing to his host to know what he should draw first, with Swig in advance and Chowey a little behind, he moved gaily away, Avith the glad pack now clustering and frolicking around him — the presentation napkin just peeping out of his pocket as he went. There was a large field — fifty or sixty horsemen, perhaps — which of course a generous public would call a hundred, Jessop-ites, Romford-ites, Any-thing-else-ites. And great was the talk and commotion the hounds raised. It seemed to be generally agreed that it was an undeniable turn-out, but some thought Facey"s manners hrusquey and that he did not make sufficient distinction between the large subscribers and the small ones. Poor Facey couldn't tell by their looks what they gave. A lawn meet generally iuA'olves a little deception, or what Independent Jimmy would call "• blandishment," and Facey had to run his hounds through several improbable places that had never held a fox in the memory of man, and in all probability never will. Still, it was part of the programme, and, of course, he conformed to it. First he tried the laurel walk, and the rhodo- dendron beds, then he went to the deodara grove, and was moving- on to the summer-house hill when a green and red gamekeeper came up and announced that he had seen a fox sitting under the projecting ridge of Silverstream Slate Quarry. This was Mr. Charley Slinker, a gentleman pretty well known in gunning* circles, as also in the public-house and advertising lines, being constantly ofiPering his services, either as a park-keeper, game- keeper, head or single handed, sometimes indeed descending as low as an under gamekeeper, or even one who would devote himself entirely to trapping. But Charley, in his glory, was the occupant of such a place as he now had, living with a master who, knowing nothing about the matter, listened to his stories and worried any body upon whom Slinker hounded him. There is no greater mischief-maker than a second-class gamekeeper. They are always hunting and frittering away character. Well, up came Slinker to Romford, in manner aforesaid, and though friend Romford thought he looked like a scamp, he accepted the information, and telling him to lead the way, bid him put the fox away quietly, and hold up his white hat when he was gone. Facey then made a little lUtour with the hounds while 158 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. Slinker performed his part of the ceremony. Aud the man's manner and official position tending* to raise hopes, aU the pedestrians and several of the equestrians followed to see what would happen. On Slinker stalked, full of consequence and expectation that Mr. Romford would tip him a sovereign at least for the find, xirriving at the top of the quarry he clapped his hands loudly, and " sJietu, shewed I " expecting to see the fox bolt on the instant. Xothing of the sort however happened, some jackdaws flew^ out of the quarry, but no fox appeared. Looking- rather disconcerted, the hero of the gun then stooped, and picking- up a stone threw it at the place where he still thought he saw the fox lying. Another jackdaw then appeared. Crack/ crack! now went several whips, in the midst of which Slinker descended, and, making for the spot, found the brown substance he had been taking- for a fox was some fox-coloured fern ! Nothing daunted, however, he returned boldly to the front, inveighing bitterly against the foot people, declaring that half of them ought to be hung — that he had seen the fox there every morning for the last month, and now they had put him away just when the hounds had come to hunt him. But he knew who had done it ! He knew who had done it ! It was that Geordey Mason, because he wouldn't let him come to the rook-shooting. Ple'd pay him off, that he would. Mr. Romford, little chagrined, for he did not expect much from his man, then took his further directions from Mr. Joseph Large, who, wishing to get out of his tight top-boots as soon as he could, told our Master he had better go at once to Winstable Wood, and not potter about wasting time any longer. Whereupon Mr. Romford's broad shoulders assumed the jerk of activity, which, having communicated itself to the rest of the field, away the whole party went, bump bump, trot trot, trotting to the bob, bob, bobbing of the men's caps in advance. So they passed through the hamlets of Shinley and Crumpton, to the delight of the ■children and the astonishment of the poultry, each, particularly one old hen, thinking the w'hole force of the movement was direc'.ed against her. As the teapot-handle-maker, in his purgatorial tops, was borne along on a very fractious rough-actioned chestnut horse, he in- wardly thought that the trouble of hunting was greater than the pleasure. He thought he would like to do it by deputy. Send the coachman out instead. Why should he be tormented in this way ?— riding a nasty, capering, hot-headed brute that wanted to have the whole road to itself, and, if he gave it its head, would infallibly run clean away with him? — Why, indeed ! *'Rot the brute ! there it goes again ! " exclaimed Joseph, as the irritated MR. FACEY liOMFORD'S HOUXJJS. 159 chestnut threw up its head and nearly flattened his snub nose. And Joseph inwardly Avished he had him in a good rough ploughed field, Avhere he could give him the slack rein and ride himto a stand-still to punish him for his impetuosity. AVhy couldn't he take things quietly ? — and thereupon he gave him a cropper that made the h(,»rse worse. Thus Joseph proceeded on his way any- thing but rejoicing. Meanwhile Bohngljroke was comfortably at home feeding his pigeons. CHAPTEE XXYII. A REAL FOX. amm^ ^■-^^ '^l: A SURF. FIXD. at others are bad while others aj^jain are «-ood finding, HERE were good foxes in Doubleimup- shire, only they required a little finding. They lay in queer out of the way places, old buildings, ivy - mantled crags, and one gentleman had his billet up a holloAv box- tree. ►Some men are good at finding foxes and bad at hunting them: and good at hunting them : at neither operation. Mr. Facev Komford combined both qualities, he could find as well as hunt. He had an intuitive knowledge of the nature and habits of the animal, and seemed to say to himself as he approached a cover — his little pig eyes raking it in all directions — " Now, Francis Romford, moy beloved friend, if you were a fox, where would you lie ? Would you choose the east side by the road, with the chance 100 MR. FACET TIOMFORD'S HOUNDS. of intrusion from every stray cur and stick-stealing besom-maker; or would you take the west, where it is quieter with worse lying ; or would you mount half way up the hill where there is a sunny sand bank to bask upon, with a nice close gorse in the rear ? " and whichever part of a cover Facey fancied, there generally was to be found the fox. Sometimes he would whip them out of places that nobody ever thought of trying, straggling bushes, briary banks, angular nooks — quarters that offered the benefit of seclusion without attracting notoriety by their size. " How can you be sure he's not there," Facey would say, " if you don't try ?'* Not that he went with the pack, and the p^sse comitatus at his heels, but he sent Swig or Chowey or some one to whip the place in passing. He never gave a keeper a chance of saying that he drew over his foxes, or left them behind. Whitstable Wood was a sure find — at least as sure as anything can be that is dependent upon the will of a Avild animal, and, not having been disturbed for some time, expectation ran high on the point. Moreover, after two or three failures, even the funkers begin to wish for something better than the mere cheer of the huntsman or the rate of the whips. It is being hurried into hot action, without a moment's preparation, or time to get on terms with one's horse, that makes people quake and wish themselves out of it. A great staring stone wall or a bottomless brook to begin upon arc sad dampers to ardour and energy. Leaping should be gradual and progressive. A little one first, then a somewhat larger, and a little bigger after that, and so on. Not a great choker at starting. It should be conducted on the principle of a French dinner, where the grand j;/efP de resislauce comes last. But we are now at the cover — a twenty-acre Avood of stately oaks, with capital lying, and already Eomford & Co. have dissolved partnership, Swig taking the right, Chowey the left, each keeping- wide of Mr. Eomford, so that, as Beckford says, a single hound may not escape them. Facey coaxes as many of the field as he can into cover, but the rides being deep and the clay holding, it is not a popular measure. Mr. Joseph Large never went into a wood, because he never could find his way out again ; but, on this occasion, thinking the holding clay might be serviceable to the fractious chestnut horse, he went boldly in, determined to give him a bucketing if he could. Still Joseph's example was not seductive — very few followed him. Mr. Kickton wanted to ride against Mr. Pyefinch, who had said he was a tailor ; while Mr. Blanton, Mr. Bullpig, and Farmer Tuppen wanted to be ready to slip down Lavenham Lane, in case the fox went to the west. Each man has a pet reason for not going in. And as few now-a-days care to see a fox found, Facey has it pretty much to MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. IGl himself. On he ♦^'oes, slowly and carefiillv, inwardly hoping that liis g'rafcuitous pack might distinguish itself. If there was any truth ill breeding they would, and he knew he had spared no lies ill geutiug them. And the hounds had not been long in cover ere the feathering of Trumpeter and Tuneable ( both from the Badminton) satislied our distinguished master that a fox was at home, and, getting the Baker horse by the head, he dashed into the thickest of the brushwood, followed by such of the pack as had witnessed the move. " Yooi, pusli 'em. up I " cheered Facey with a slight crack of his w^hip, and on the instant a great ruddy-coated, wdiite- throated, irate-looking dog fox dashed out of his grassy lair in full view of Trumpeter, who raised such an exclamation of joy and surprise as electrified the rest of the pack, and brought them pell-mell to the spot to share in the crash and the triumph. What a commotion was there I A pack of vigorous fox-hounds, all getting a whiff of the scent by turns, each particular hound giving as it were a receipt in full for the whole. AVhat a crash they make I and the old Avood echoes and reverberates the sound with most usurious interest. Then the critics, both hostile and friendly, began cocking their ears for censure or for praise, while the unprejudiced sportsmen sat revelling in the melody, half wishing the fox would break cover, and yet half that he would stay, and have a little more taken out of him ere he fled. And sly Reynard, apparently considering the matter, and leaving the dreadful clamour behind him, thought he had better get a little further a-head before he ventured to leave his comfortable quarters, so, running a couple of liberal rings, he so foiled the ground as to bring the clamorous hounds to their noses, and give him a much better chance of escape. And as the music sensibly lessened and some were beginning to abuse the scent, and Facey was cheering on the hounds that could hold it, the twang of a horn came softened through the wood, changing the whole course of the performance. It was Daniel ! the Right Honourable the Hurl of Scamper- dale's Daniel ! doing with his horn what he was unable to do with his husky voice, and its notes were caught and immediately drowned by the clamour that followed them. The fox was indeed away I AVell away ; for he must have been a bold one to return in the face of such a yelling. Meanwhile Daniel was on with the leading hounds, leaving Facey and Chowxy to bring the rest after him. There Avas a rare scent, and he chuckled to think they would never catch him up. So he sailed gallantly over Mapperton Meadows, taking Babington Brook in his stride. Then Romford, Avho had nothing but his quick ear to guide him — never having seen a yard of the count] y M 162 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. before — settled himself in his saddle, and went tearing and crash- ing away through the cover to where he thou,o-ht he heard the last notes of the horn, while the well-informed held diverged to the right or tlie left, according as their former experience guided them ; some thinking the fox Avas away for Heslope Hill, others that he was sure to go to Hurlestone Crags, and the leader of each detachment coursed over the country, so as to lead his followers to the point with as little risk to life or limb as possible. Each party came in view just as Eomford, with a gallant effort, super- seded Swig, who now fell back upon the momh-extended, gaping Chowey. " For-rard ! for-rard ! " was the cry, though it was scarcely possible for hounds to go faster. Most hunts have their crack rider, a man whom they think can beat everybody ; and Captain Spurrier, of Cherrymount, had long held that honourable office with the old Larkspur Hunt. Not that it is usual to ride at the master or huntsman ; but the other Mr. Romford not having the reputation of being a great liorse- man, the Captain thought it might be well to show him how they did things in the far-famed Doubleimupsliire. But for this he would have preferred retiring into private life now on the acces- sion of a new master, for a strong tinge of hoar-frost had shot across his once dark-brown whiskers, and hardish falls had some- what quenched the love of leaping. Still, men don't like admitting they are not so good as they have been, and persevere on, in hopes that it is only a temporary depression, from which they will speedily rally. Each time they go out they think they will just show off that day, and be done ; but somehow they always think they will just have another last day, and then one more, and so on, till they get beat, and give up hunting in disgust. Happy are they who go out to please themselves, and not to astonish others. So thought Mr. Joseph Large, as, having taken the fiery edge off the chestnut in the deep-holding clay rides of the cover, he gained the hard road, and resolved to stick to it as long as ever he could. " Pretty thing it would be for a man of his means to break his neck after a nasty, crafty, hen-stealing fox." So saying, he knotted his curb-rein, and letting it drop,' proceeded to take his change out of the chestnut, now that he had got him sub- dued.^ He even ventured to spur him, not very severely, but still sufficient to let the horse know that he had a pair on. With the before-mentioned erroneous impression of the prowess of friend Facey, Captain Spurrier hustled his horse and hardened his heart, determined to ride as of yore ; and great was his surprise when, on clearing the cover, "^he saw the' pusillanimous llomford, as he thought, sailing away, taking the large bull- MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 163 fiucliers Jusb as they came ia his way, without swerving either to the right or the left. " Spurting rider ! " muttered Spurrier, griuding liis teeth, add- ing, " he'll change his tune before he gets to Collington Woods," for which tlie hounds seemed then to be evidently pointing. So saying, the Captain put spurs to his little thorough-bred steeple- chase horse, and shot in between Facey and Daniel Swig, who was now careering along in the wake of his master. A great and wide-spread avalanche of sportsmen followed, some by one route, some by another, the programme widening towards its base, just like the pyramids of Egypt, or a lady's petticoat. The ground sloped gradually to the sight, giving all those who bad time to look after anything but themselves a fine panoramic view of the chase,- — hounds in a cluster — Romford close np — Spurrier hard upon him — Swig next Spurrier, and Chowey mixed up in a miscellaneous group of horsemen, — now a red coat leadini!-, now a black, now a red again. The air Avas bright and rarefied, and echo multiplied the music of the hounds. It was both a good seeing, a good scenting, and a good hearing day, — quite a bespeak for an opening day, The I'urther they went, the more Captain Spurrier was los^ in astonishment at Mr. Romford's masterly performance. He didn't seem to care a halfpenny for anything. All he looked to was being with his hounds. Brooks, banks, Avails, woods, all seemed equally indifferent to him. " What nonsense people talked about Romford not being a rider," thought he. "Was just about the hardest rider he had ever seen. Little Spratt Avas nothing to him." And Spurrier inwardly congratulated himself upon not being bound to beat Mr. Romford. Such a back and such shoulders he had never seen in conjunction Avith such a powerful horse. Altogether, Spurrier pronounced Romford a very formidable opponent. And he Avondered if Romford would introduce him to Lord Lovetin. Mrs. Spurrier Avould like it very much, if he Avould. So they •sailed -away OA'er Sharperow and Strother lordships, past Tas- borough, leaving Thirkeld on the right and Welbury on the left, till the ploughed lands of Portgate slackened their paces and brought the hounds to their noses. " Hold hard I " w^as at length the cry, and gratefully it sounded to the ears of the forward ; grateful it was, too, to those behind, who by now putting on might yet hope to get a saving view of the scene. So they hurried forward in clamorous vigour, determined to be able to say how it Avas up to Heatherwicke Green, at all events ; and a great Avave of sportsmen surged to the front ere Mr. Romford, having let the hounds make their own cast, now essayed to assist them in full view of a panting but still critical field. M 2 164 3IR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. Wc are all o-reat judges of hunting. Romfc^rd, nothing- flurried, had employed the brief interval in watching the spreading' and trying of the hounds, and surveying the same. '^ Francis Romford," said he to himself, " if you were the fox% what would you do under these circumstances ? You may have been headed by that noisy long-tailed team, with the man riding- on the stilts, or you may have been chased by that ill-conditioned cur, who has a very felonious look about him ; but, any how, I think, Francis Romford, with that range of rocky hills in front, you would get on a-head, and try to ensconce yourself amongst them." So saying, Facey determined to make a wide cast in iront, and try to recover his friend. And the perspiring field sat watching the move — if successful, to call it a good one ; if not, to deu ounce it as the wildest cast that ever was made. Facey didn't get his hounds together like a flock of sheep, but allowed them to spread and use their own sagacity, going at a very gentle pace, without any hurrying or blustering from the whips. Two fields ahead brought him to the rapid-running eddying Fleets now even with its banks from the effects of recent rains. It was neither jnmpable nor fordable, but it was swimmable, and as such Facey took to it. He blobbed in and scrambled out. Swig blobbed in and scrambled out. The hounds blobbed in and scrambled out. Cliowey declined. It suddenly occurred to him that Raschid was missing. Captain Spurrier looked at the still agitated water, and said, "Ah! that would not have stopped nic, but I've got a dose of camomile in me this morning." He then joined the ruck, and rode round by the bridge at Beltingford Burn. A hard road here favoured them, and as the field clattered along, they commented in fragmentary ejaculations on the rashness of swimming, and the general disagi*eeableness of water in winter. "He must have viewed the fox," said Mr. Tuppen, "or he Avould never have risked his life in that way ; " adding, " HaAc known many a man drowned in that river." " Or is going to a halloo ! " suggested Mr. Markwell, Avho had just joined. " A rare un to ride I " observed Mi*. Josejoh Large, proud of his- •jji'ofef/e. But Romford had neither vicAved the fox nor heard a halloo. He AA^as simply following his OAvn instinct that the fox Avas forrard ;. and if he didn't find him forrard, he Avould ha\-e swum it again to try back. But Fortune does favour the braAT, and Facey had no occasion to give his new coat-laps or Bedford cords another Avetting ; for,. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 105 ufter a Iicnrty slinking-, the bustlin^^ pack again spread to pursue their sniffing investigations on the south side of the river ; and at a reverse in the second hedge-row dividing a ploughed from a pasture field, the Beaufort Brilliant gave such a note of exclama- tion as electrified the pack, and in an instant the rickety fence cracked and bent with their weight. " Hoop I " cheered Facej, dehghted with his prowess. He didn't care a copper for his Bedlord cords, nor yet for his new coat-laps. Meanwhile the hounds shot away with renewed melody, renovating the roadsters, and making the country ring with their energy. The face of the landscape now changed, inclining upwards towards the dark frowning hills, which divided the vale iVom the moorlands above. The enclosures, too, got larger and larger — twenty, thirty, and forty acres each — while the surface was more openly exposed, flat, and expansive, with very weak iiedges, and few hollows for concealment or out-of-sight running. The hounds now showed to great advantage, striving and racing for the mastery. A sheet would cover them. " Dash it ! but they are a rare lot I " muttered Facey, eyeing their performances. " And didn't cost much, either," chuckled lie, thinking how he got them. '^ Forrard ! forrard ! ^' cheered he, fanning the flame of their ardour. So they went screeching iind pressing to the front — now Prosperous leading, now Terrible, now Tuneable. Dash it I He didn't know whether the Beaufort or the Belvoir were the best. Didn't think even Bondsman him- self could beat some of the former. Monstrous lucky he was to get them. Facey next views the fox stealing steadily over what was once Coltsfoot Common, with an attendant canopy of crows hovering over him, indicating his course. " Yow ! ijow ! i/ap ! " went the bustling hounds. " Caw ! caw ! caAV ! " went the birds. So the poor fox had a double set of pursuers. On he went, however, steadily and perseveringly. He had beat the old Larkspur hounds twice, and did not see why he should not beat Mr. Romford's. But nearer and nearer came the notes of the pack, commingling with the vociferous cawing of the ])lack gentry above. It was hard to say which seemed the most inveterate against the unfortunate fox. Still, the many-caverned rocks were close at hand, and if he could but gain them, they might work for a week l)efore they got him out. There they g:irded the horizon in frowning altitude, the dark interstices looking most inviting for a refuge. Facey saw the difficulty. \i the \ox and hounds held on at the same pace, the fox would inevitably gain the rocks and beat the hounds. This Avas not to 16G MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. be desired, especially on a first day after a good ruD. So clapping spurs to Pull-Devil-Pull-Baker, now, indeed, made into Placid Joe, he capped them on from scent to view ; and, after a smart race, the Belvoir Dreadnought pulled the fox down by the brush, just as he was ascendiug the first reef of rocks. " Who-hoop ! " shrieked Romford, in a voice that made the hills ring and reverberate. " Wlio-hoop ! " repeated he, throwing liimself from his horse, and diving into the midst of the pack, to extricate the fox from their fangs. Up he held him triumphantly, with the baying pack jumping and frolicking around. "Take my horse away now," cried Facey to Swig, and the coast being then clear, Facey advanced a few steps to where a soft mossy bank seemed to invite the performance of the last obsequies of the chase. There on the bright green cushion he cast the nut-brown fox. Meanwhile, the field having availed themselves of the facilities of Beltingford Bridge, were now making the air and the hard road ring with their voices and the noise of their horses' hoofs, all in a deuce of a stew lest they should lose the hounds, or not be up at the kill. They had not yet arrived at the elegant pohit of indifference that makes men turn their horses' heads homewards as soon as they hear " who-hoop ! " and most satisfactory (though of course none of them admitted it) Eomford's death-note sounded on their ears. They had all about had enough. The gallant Captain Spurrier had lost a shoe, Mr. Blanton had lost two, while Mr. James Allnut and his son had lost five between them. Mr. Romford took no advantage of their circumlocution, but keeping the fox on the green bank, maintained the ardour of the pack by repeated hoops and halloes. So there was a very lively circle when the last of the field came up. Facey and the fox in the centre, the baying hounds all around, CUiowey and Swig- outside, contributing their occasional quota of noise to the scene. "Well (puff) done !" exclaimed Mr. Bullpig, mopping himself. " Capital (gasp) run ! " shouted Allnut, who had only seen half of it. "Never saw better (puff) hounds in my life I " asserted Mr. Large, who had ncA'er seen any but the Surrey. Then all having come up, Chowey, at a signal from Facey, proceeded to divest the fox of his brush and his pads, prior to presenting the remainder to the hounds. Up then went the carcase, which was caught by a myriad of mouths as it fell. Tear him and eat him, was then the cry. And tear him and eat him they did. The master of the circle, Facey Romford, then quitted the ring, now somewhat difficult to maintain in consequence of the MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 167 struggling efforts of the fox-devonriiig hounds, and having decorated Master AUnut's pony with the l)rush, and given the pads to those who would have them, proceeded to the outer ring, to hear how things were going on there. There was a great discussion about the time and distance. Mr. Pyefinch said it was nine miles as the crow flies. Doctor Snuff, who had joined promiscuously on a cob, thought it was hardly that, but it was good eight. Mr. Kickton thought it was more than eight. It was seven to Stewley Hill, and the rooks were two good miles beyond it. Then they appealed to Mr. Romford. '" How far should you say it was, Mr. Romford ? " demanded Mr. Joseph Large, who thought he had come twenty at least. ''Faith, I've no notion I " replied Facey, adding, ''He was a right good fox, any how." " Capital ! " ejaculated Mr. Large, adding, " It was almost a pity to kill him." ''Xot a bit," retorted Facey, ''always kill 'em when you C':in. The more you kill, the more you'll have to kill." The teapot-handle-maker didn't understand that doctrine, but took it for granted. He inwardly hoped there were not many such foxes in the country. Then Facey, pretending that the run was nothing out of the way, remounted his horse, demanding where they should go next ; whereupon they all cried " Content ! " recommending him to go home and change, for he must be very wet, and began asking their own individual ways, for some people Avill live in a country all their lives, and yet never know where they are after hunting. Then Mr. Bullpig, having identified Hazelton Hill, and Mr. Blanton the far-off Castlcfield Clump, the respective cohorts filed oft' together to l)e further distributed as they proceeded. And Mr. Romford having looked over his hounds, and found them all right to a fraction, moved away in the direction of Middlethorpc Steeple, well pleased at having given the field such a stinger at starting. And he smoked his pipe, and played the flute with great glee, at Beldon Hall, that evening : telling Lucy and her mamma tha^ he had given his new friends a ^^ deuce of a dusim\^^ 168 MB. FACET BOMFOF.B'S HOUNDS, CHAPTEK XXVIIT. MR. IIAZEY AND HIS BOY BILL. A huntsman's fame rises and fails with the sport he shows, and after such a run as that described in our last chapter, no w^onder Mr. Romford's was in the ascendant. People said there was no mistake about him. He w\as the right man in the right place. And the tide of pubhc opinion turned entirely in his favour. His unadorned eloquence, queer questions, and napkin- pocketing gauchcries were forgotten or merged in the brilliant nature of his exploits. He was a trump, and no mistake. The run was talked of far and wide — magnified, and exaggerated beyond all bounds. It was twelve miles, it was lifteen miles, and it was twenty miles. Facey swam the Lune (a navigable river), and rode up a precipice a hundred and ten feet high. It was talked of at my Lord's, at Sir Charles's, at the Hall, the House, and Grange, at the Barley Mow, the Coach and Horses, the Fox and Hounds, the Red Lion, the White Horse, the Black Horse, the Bay Horse, at all the houses of public entertainment within the hmits of the Larkspur Hunt. As it gradually reached the confines of the Larkspur country, a sort of reaction took place, and people began to be more sceptical ; doubted whether Facey sw^am the Lune ; doubted whether he rode up the precipice : doubted whethei" the run was as long as they said. If it was there must have been two foxes. When the news got into Independent Jimmy's friend, Mr. Hazey's country, it became more and more doubted still, and some of the members of the Hard and Sharp Hunt seemed to take it amiss, if any one mentioned it. Distance ? Nonsense ! it was nothing of the sort. Mr. Jiggerton Jones, who was born at Brickley Hill, and knew every yard of the country, said it Avas barely eight miles — not eight as the crow flies. The Lune never came in the way. It was the Fleet Mr. Romford swam — any- body could leap it on foot when the waters were down. So they crabbed the great run. Mr. Hazey heard the news with misgivings, for he had had some difficulty in holding his own even against the old Larkspur Hunt, and it was only by letting the large subscribers hoop and halloo, and do as they liked witii his hounds, that he managed to keep them together. But for this they would have been straggling all over the world, some to the Larkspurs, some to Captain Coppcrthwaite's harriers, some to Mr. Stotfold's staghouuds. MB. FACEY EOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 169 Railways make sportsmen very ubiquitous. Que day they are Avitli the Queen's, another with the Quoru, a third with the Craven, or perhaps the Cheshire. Stih, Mr. Hazey hoped if Romford was the great man people represented him to be, he mio-ht yet manage to retrieve himself by a little curative horse-dealing with him. ^Ir. Hazey was one of the new-fangled order of horse-dealing masters of hounds — and hunted the coantry for the sake of what he could make by it. We don't mean to say tliat he lived out of the hounds like friend Facey, because he went to a certain expense in their maintenance and education himself, but he never missed a chance of making that expense as little as possible by selling either horses or hounds to advantage. He was one of those provoking, persecuting creatures who arc always pestering ])eople about tneir l)elougings, praising their horses until one would suppose no money Avould induce them to part with them, and then all at once they chop over and announce that the l)aragon of perfection is for sale, all the previous palavermenfc merely tending to excite competition and enhance the price. A man doesn't deserve a good horse who is always wanting to sell him. The respectable dealers would have nothing to do with Mr. Hazey. They would meet him at the thresholds of their yards with a bow, and a " Sorry, sir, we have nothing at home that will suit you," well knowing that he would turn every horse in the yard out, and then haggle with them for a half-penny at the end. The great Mr. Thoroughpin of Oxford Street used to say he would rather do business with tw^o Jews than one Hazey. Then, to hear Hazey running down a horse that he wanted to buy, and afterwards running him up when he wanted to sell, was what^ Independent Jimmy called quite " a the^^/tre performance." No one would suppose he was talking about one and the same animal. In buying of the farmers, he was far worse than the regular dealers in his persecution for luck-pence and returns, and would take anything that they would give him, — a sack of potatoes, a goose, or even his gig-hire, if he could get nothing else. Then what trials he required before he could be satisfied of their .soundness, and how little he gave when he came to buy I His plan was to canter a horse for three quarters of an hour or so, then take him back to the stable, and, after he had got him cool, to shake down a veterinary surgeon as if by chance, to scan and scrutinise his then appearance and condition. In selling, he sternly repudiated the services of the brotherhood, observing, tiiey were a class of men he never allowed to come into his stables — knew their tricks too well for that — "gentlemen should place implicit confidence in each other," Hazey said. 170 MR. FACEY ROAIFOED'S HOUNDS. Ill this honourable career ho was ably assisted by his groom, James Silkey, a man who could lie like truth, and who would swear to anything that Hazey said. Having been long in Hazey's service, and, of course, in at a good many robberies, 8ilkey had acquired a perfect mastery over Hazey, much to the latter's incon- venience, who could neither do with Silkey nor without him — Silkey could expose him whenever he liked. Not that Hazey cared a great deal for exposure ; but Silkey, by enabling parties to put that and that together, might bring him Avithin reach of the law, which would be very disagreeable in a pecuniary point of view. Indeed, he had had once or twice to refund as ic was, not caring to trust Silkey to the cross-examina- of that teasing counsel, Serjeant Werrit. Silkey had long dis- carded livery, set up a broad back, and strutted consequentially in brown cut-aways and gaiters, talking of moy hounds, moy horses, moy this, and moy that — but never about moy master. After this introduction, perhaps the reader would like to know what sort of a looking gentleman Mr. Hazey was — -tall or short, thick or thin, dark or fair, old or young, or middling, or how. Well, he was of the middle stature and middling substance, stood five feet nine, and rode eleven stone two — a convenient weight for mounting, and dressed in a sort of semi-groomish, semi-country gentlemanish style — cut-away coat, light vest, fancy tie, witli generally tightish drab trousers and Balmoral boots. Being no rider, his hunting costume, of course, was a cap, buntsman-ish cut coat, and everything very stout and substantial. As to his age, Ave can hardly fix it, for he was one of those light-complexioned gentlemen Avho wear so Avell, had no whiskers, and no striking feature save cold grey eyes that wandered restlessly about a room. It wasn't the quick, piercing eye of Mr. Eomford, but the sly, circumventing one that makes a man feel far more anxious for his pocket than the other. He had a son now old enough to want top-boots, viz., Mr. William Hazey, or, "my boy Bill," as his father fondly called him. Bill had left two schools with the reputation of being the worst boy at both. Being, hoAv- ever, his father's facsimile in mind as well as looks, he Avas his especial favourite, and everything seemed to be made subservient to my boy Bill. My boy Bill must have a gun-room ; my boy Bill must haA^e a billiard-room ; my boy Bill must have a smoking- room ; my boy Bill must have everything he Avanted. To hear Mr. Hazey talk, one Avould fancy that his boy Bill was the best done-by boy Bill in the county ; but those Avho Avere be- hind the scenes said that, unless Bill's views coincided with those of his Avorthy father. Bill had very little chance of getting what he wanted. My boy Bill, to all appearances, had a couple of horses, MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 171 and Hazev used to point him out ostentatiously to parties as Bill changed from one to the other at the cover side, exclaiming, ''There ! there's my boy Bill ! Show me the man who turns his son out better than 1 turn out my boy Bill I " But if anybody would buy my boy Bill's horse, Bill might <:^o on foot till Hazey picked him up another twenty-pounder, to be again converted into a fifty, and sold as before. And now, as Bill grew up to manhood, he became a sort of chaunter to his excellent parent — praised his hounds, praised his horses, praised his sport, prai?ed everything belonging to him — was quite equal to supersede Silkey, if they could but get rid of him. Xay, more. Bill could not only praise, but anticipate objec- tions, palliate weak points that he saw might arise, either to hounds, horses, or anything. If the Hazey carriage was not quite so good as it might be. Bill would say to a stranger as it came round to the door, " Ah, this is a coachmaker's carriage — ours is getting done up ; " or, if the horses were shabby, " Ah, these arc our night-horses." So with his hay, his straw, his oats, his every thing that was Hazey. Silkey, on the other hand, rather mag- nified deficiencies, thinking, perhaps, to make his master rectify them thereby. CHAPTER XXIX. BILLY BALSAM AXD BOB SHOHT. Beldox Hall underwent a great change in its domestic arrangements soon after the visit of our friends the "Watkinses, when Dirtiest of the Dirty had to act the part of footman, receive and announce the company, and reconduct them to their carriage. This proceeding Lucy did not approve ; she felt it Avas derogatory to the dignity of the place, and inconsistent with her brother's elevated position of Master of the Larkspur Foxhounds. So, with her ready wit, she set about seeing how it could be rectified. Xow the Viscount Lovetin kept a gardener, one Billy Balsam, or Sweet AVilliam, as ^Irs. Mustard lovingly called him, who, like herself, was of the poverty-striken order ; a man who was ready to turn his hand to anything in a slovenly makc-shifc sort of way — leaving it to the parties who em]:>loyed him to judge whether he did his work properly or not. There are plenty of these sort of creatures in all countries. He had sixteen shillin2,s a week irom the Viscount for what Balsam called looking after the garden ; that is to say, seeing that no one ran away with the trees, the tool- 172 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. house, and anything of that sort ; and the sixteen shilhngs a week (•oming in regularly, whether he worked for Lord Lovetin or not, Balsam had plenty of time for doing little things for other people — Suacking hay, taking bees, kilhng pigs, getting in coals — any of the hundred-and-one odd jobs that are constantly occurring in the country. " Send for Billy Balsam ! " was always the last resource of the destitute, just as housekeepers nsed to say, " Send for one of the Mustard girls ! " in case of a domestic emergency. Billy was a stout-built, well-legged man, of about sixty years of age, with a large, full, red face — the nose slightly indicative of drink — the wdiole surmounted by a most respectable silvery-grey head — just the sort of man thac a stranger would suppose had lived all his life in one fauiily, instead of having been in twenty different places at least, before he alighted at Beldon Hall. Bob Short, who dignified himself with the title of stud-groom, being the man who answered Facey's advertisement for a " strong, persevering man, to clean horses," Avas much of the same build, though possessing more brains than Sweet William. Indeed his abundance of brains had got him into trouble ; for, living coach- jnau with a gentleman of large fortune who knew nothing whatever about horses or stable-management, Bob (who quite understood his business) had so imposed upon his master's credulity as to bring himself within the scope of the criminal law, — that incon- venient Act, we believe, which enables justices to dispose of certain thefts in petty sessions. Be that as it may, however, Bob Short fell fiom his high estate, as the reader may suppose, when we find him accepting such a situation as Mr. Romford's — not that the place was degrading, but the pay was so poor. Well, it occurred to Lucy that one or other, or perhaps both, of these worthies might be made available in raising a suitable Beldon Hall establishment, and, both of them being extremely ready, she en- listed them as occasional footmen, — Sweet William in ordinary, and Bob and he on a Sunday. She then turned her attention to dressing them. It is a good thing to have walked the stage ; for, besides the easy self-posses- sion acquired by so doing, it not only teaches people how to dress themselves or others up ibr any particular part, but also where to get the right properties for the occasion, — crowns for emperors, Avreaths for victors, helmets for soldiers, liveries for servants. And turning to the column headed ''Public Amusements" in '' Bell's Life," to see what places were open, she found her old stage friend. Miss Betsey Shannon — of whom more hereafter — figuring under her assumed name of Gertrude ])alrym])le at the Royal Amphi- theatre over the watei', and who, she knew, would have great pleasure in executing any commission for her. So to Miss Shan- MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 17^> non she wrote, askin^^ her to send her down to Beldon Hall, in Doubleimupshire, as soon as ever she could, a couple of rich lace- bedizened job liveries for two substantially built footmen, in the baronial style ; adding, that she did not care so much about price as haviufy the liveries smart and capable of bearing the garisli light of day. And, by way of stimulating Miss Shannon to extra exertion in the matter, she told her, if all went right, as Lucy ex- pected things would, Mr. Romford would be glad to see Mi?s Shannon down at the Lord Viscount Lovetin's, at Beldon Hall, to spend the Christmas holidays. And i\Iiss Shannon — who dearly loved an outing into the country, and moreover entertained a lively regard for her old friend and coadjutor (then Lucy Glitters) in the saw-dusted ring — exerted herself to the utmost, going from Nathan's to Levy's, and from Levy's to Abraham's, and from Abraham's to Solomon's, l)artering and bargaining with the hook- nosed costumiers till she finally settled on a couple of very passable pea-green coats with gold aiguillettes, yellow vests, and yellow plush l)rGeches, at Moses Mordecay's well-known establishment in the Minories. They had their imperfections, it is true ; the coat buttons bearing a lion rampant, those of the shorts" an eagle ; ' but 'callers are generally in too great a flurry, and too busy think- ing of themselves and their own attire, to pay attention to such minutiae. In other respects the clothes were very passable, and, being slightly worn, showed at all events that the owner was not just then setting up his servants. Indeed it was arranged that Mrs. Somerville should call the servants hers, which got rid of any difficulty about the turbot-on-its-tail crest. These liveries, then, with pink silk stockings and buckled shoes. Miss Betsey Shannon engaged by the week, with a considerable reduction in price if they were kept any time, or the option of purchasing them if Mrs. Somerville liked. Indeed, Miss Shannon executed her commission so adroitly, flourishing Lord Lovetin's title so imposingly, as to make Moses Mordecay believe that the due execution of the order would be the forerunner of a good deal of custom, and actually induced him to part with the garments without any deposit. And no sooner did they arrive at Beldon Hall than Lucy opened them out and sent forthwith for Billy Balsam, notwithstanding she knew he was then particularly en- gaged in killing Mr. Proudlock's pig. Billy, with the aid of hot water, have presently made himself Sweet "William again after the operation, was then requested to try on both suits, and present himself to Lucy in whichever fitted him best. This he presently did, and came along a perfect figure of fun to himself and all the Dirties. '^ He, he, he! ho, ho, ho! haw, haw, haw!'' laughed they. Dirty Xo. 2 could hardly contain herself. She thought 174 MR. FACEY ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. she had never seen such a sight — no, never since the mountebanks came down. Then Lucy took Billy throuo^h her hands : told him to hold up his head, turn out his toes, and walk as if he were a drum-major, and not as if he were wheeling a barrow full of greens along the garden walk. And she marched him round the room two or three times, telling him to look in the mirrors, and see how much better he looked with his head erect than doubled up as if he had got a touch of the stomach-ache, or had stolen a pat of butter and had it in his pocket. And Billy thought there was something in what she said, which, coupled with the promise of a shilling a day for his services, reconciled him to the situation. The ladies, in all probability, would give up laughing after they had seen him once or twice. And what a quantity of spirits the money would buy ! So he went fairly in for his lesson. She then proceeded to show him how to open the drawing-room door and announce the guests. ''Now," said she, "this devonport," laying her pretty hand upon one nt which she had been writing, " this devonport will be me ; I will be the guest — the caller, you know — Lady Kings- borough, say — and you must open the door and show me into the room, announcing me as Lady Kingsborough." So saying, Sweet William and she withdrew, and Mrs. Somcr- ville closed the door after her, in order that they might go through the whole ceremony. They were then in the vestibule, Mrs. Somerville now turning round to be piloted. Sweet AVilliam, how- ever, hesitated. '• Please, mum," said he, scratching his white head, "is it to be Lady Devonport or Lady Kingsport ? " "Oh, stoopid, no!" exclanned Lucy; "the devonport — the thing I showed you — is supposed to be me, and I'm Lady Kings- borough come to call upon Mrs. Somerville ; but, as I can't possibly know by intuition who is coming, you must inform me by announcing the name." " But how I am to know ? " asked Billy Balsam. " Oh, by asking ; or they'll tell you," replied she ; adding, " you mustn't expect to find them labelled like one of your Dutch llower- roots. Now, then, walk on, chuck up your chin, open the door boldly, and conduct me up to the devonport." Biily then did as he was bid, and after two or three attempts •succeeded not so far amiss. Then came the finishing stroke to the instructions ; namely, answering the front-door bell. For this purpose, Lucy put on her hat of the day, and followed by Balsam proceeded along the pas- sage, across the grand hall, and out at the front-door, which she Mil. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 175 closed after her, telling Billy before she did so to open it boldly and well when the bell rang, and not to peep through an aperture, as if he expected a baihff or dun. And Lucy presently sounded an alarmin.2: summons, — a summons as if all the crowned heads in Europe had come, — that startled old Balsam, and brought all the Dirties to the old window of observation to see what was up. " Hut ! it's only the missus," said Dirtiest of the Dirty, who liad hoped to see a fine chay ; and forthwith the sisters slunk olf, leaving only old Mustard to witness the manoeuvres of Sweet William — see him receive and set off on the return voyage of convoy — which he accomplished not amiss, though not so well as Bob Short, who had fnv more brains, would have done. But then the strong, persevering man had his stable to attend to, and could only be relied upon on Sundays, or for an hour or two on the very few days of the week that Mr. Romford did not hunt. Moreover, Bob, who had worn gaudy liveries and waited occasionally, required less coaxing to get him to invest himself in the Moses Mordecay suit than Billy Balsam had done. However, there was no help for Short's absence, and the dignity of the house was obliged to succumb to the convenience of the stable. Still it was a great thing to have gained even two tem- porary footmen at a bound. And Mrs. Somervillc wrote to thank Miss Betsey Shannon most sincerely for her trouble ; adding, that she supposed " old hook-nose " would be in no hurry for his money for the liveries — at least she hoped not — for she was sure she would be in no hurry to pay him. CHAPTER XXX. MR. HAZEY'S MORXIXG CALL. The Hazeys, like the AYatkinses, Avere duly sensible of the im- portance of establishing an early acquaintance at Beldon Hall, as well for the purpose of cultivating an intimacy, as of warding off evil communications, which too often spoil good speculations. The Hazeys, too, had an enterprising daughter, of whom more hereafter. So Mr. Hazey thus had two strings to his bow, he thinking to do a little business on his own account with Mr. Romford in the horse-dealing way, Hazey's creed being to "do" other people, as he said they would " do " him if they had the chance. Then he had a good many backbiting informants to guard against, who might be stopped from telling if they knew he 176 MB. FACEY ROMFORjrS HOUNDS. was on a friendly footing at Beldon Hall. For instance, there was old Mr. Muo-gles worth, of Fatfield Hall, to whom he had sold a confirmed runaway as an invaluable cob for an elderly gentleman : young i\[r. Topsfield. of Meadow Bowers Bank, to whom he had sold a most incorrigible rearer as a horse a child might ride ; middle-aged Mr. Thnrrock, of Barnsdale, to whom he had sold an inveterate jibber and kicker as the steadiest horse in harness that ever Avas seen, but which, as Silkey said, reduced the family phaeton to lucifer matches in a minute. Altogether, Hazoy had a long list of victims whose tongues he would like to deprive of their sting. Indeed Hazey was ne\Tr happy unless he was cheating some- body. No matter how much money he had, no matter how recent and viirorous had been the " do," he was always ready and eager for another. His cold, lustreless grey eyes sparkled with animation at the mere mention of a victim. He immediately set about thinking how he could circumvent him — what he could offer hini — how he could coax and sneak to inveigle him. When Hazey heard that Mr. Romford had taken Doubleimupshire he was quite delighted, for the right Romford stood well with the sporting world, and Hazey's kennel being of the third-class character, our Mr. Romford of course had not complimented him with an order for hounds, so the Romford reputation stood bright and unsullied. Indeed it would have been matter difficult to come over Mr. Hazey, for he always required payment on delivery — horses and hounds being, he used to say, ready money. 80 sly Silkey the groom used always to be charged with a note when he dehvered a iiorse, wherein Hazey, alluding to the uncertainty of human life, used to request the favour of a cheque by the bearer. Jawkins the huntsman, too, used to have a similar missive with hounds, for whicli he went snacks with his master, and therefore of course looked to the interests of both. Mr. Hazey's house. Tarring Neville, was about nine miles from Beldon Hall by the road, but only some six or seven by the fields and those convenient cuts that foxhunters establish during the season. Being upon two distinct trusts, however, with an intervening mile of township road, the distance could be lengthened or contracted accordin.o- to the wishes and vicAVs of the speaker. Thus, for instance, if Mr. Hazey wanted Mrs. Hazey and Miss to call upon Mrs. Somerville and leave his card for Mr. Romford, the distance would only have been seven miles by the road ; but as Mr. Hazey disliked riding in carriages, especially with women in hoops, the distance suddenly elongated to eleveii, — ''far too far," as he said, "for calling on a short Avintcr day, travelling over newly metalled roads without any moon." MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 177 IMorcover, Mr. Hazey wanted to look at a horse belonging to Farmer Lightcrop, of Holly well Lane, and which JaAvkins the huntsman said had gone pretty well with their hounds on the Friday, and which Hazey thought might be picked np a bargain. And Sunday being a day on which farmers' horses do not get much exercise, Hazey thought to come upon the horse au nahcrel, without its having had any of the bandagings and hand rubbings that Silkey and he were so well up to giving. So when Mrs. Hazey began hinting and suggesting, half to him, half to her daughter, that they ought to be calling upon Mrs. Somerville, Hazey lengthened the road, extinguished the moon, and mounting the " friendliness-among-foxhunters horse," proclaimed that Bill and he would ride over and make all square with the master. But Mrs. Somerville ! There's Mrs. Somerville to be considered ■ — she can't be squared like a sportsman," exclaimed Mrs. Hazey. "Oh, yes, we'll make her all right, too," said Hazey; "I'll pretend that you didn't know that she had come, but that you will drive over and pay your respects at the earliest possible opportunity." " But why not all go now ? " asked madam. " Oh, no," retorted Hazey ; it will be far better for Bill and I to go over together and reconnoitre — see what sort of people they are, and then you will know how the land lies against you go over. Besides," added he, " Mrs. Somerville may be serious, and not like to be called upon on a Sunday." And, this latter argument prevailing, the ladies had no alter- native but to submit, and let Hazey and Bill, duly attired in duphcate riding jackets and Chipping Norton trousers, canter over together. It was lucky for the interests of our story that it suited Mr. Hazey to go on a Sunday, and that too on the very first Sunday that our friends at the Hall were qualified to receive him with a proper display of footmen. Somehow, Mrs. Somerville thought there would be callers, and she not only got herself and her ■servants up with extra care, but hid her mother, who, in truth, was not very produceable, and put old Billy Balsam through his facings, beginning at the front door and ending in the music-room, which she had fixed upon as her reception apartment. This was a beautiful circular, domed, gilt-ceilinged apartment, fitted up with violet-coloured brocaded satin damask, a splendid Tournay carpet, and magnificent mirrors, interspersed with costly statues, china, and articles of verhi. It was second only to the drawing-room in point of size and magnificence. Mr. Eomford had been an advocate for living altogether in one room — the breakfast one — where, as he said, he could have his 178 MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. pipe and his newspaper and his flate and all things to hand ; but Mrs. Somerville insisted that it would cost nothing more to live in large rooms than in small ones, and that living in the latter would add very much to their comfort and consequence. So friend Romford, who had no objection to be made a great man of, provided it cost nothing, consented, more readily perhaps w^hen he found he could get coals from the garden for nothing — at least for a trifling tip to the cartman who led them. Added to this^ Lucy said it would keep the Dirties better employed, and give them less time for flirting with young Proudlock, the keeper's son, or the butcher's boy, proceedings of which she greatly disapproved. Thus they got into form on this conspicuous Sunday, when the knowing Mr. Hazey came over on his complimentary visit of inspection. Lucy had scarcely got Balsam through his facings, and in- structed Bob Short how to support him during the advance,'^than, almost with the regularity of stage efi*ect, the front-door bell rang- a sonorous peal ; and Mrs. Somerville, after taking a last hasty glance at herself in the statuary marble mantel-piece mirror^ subsided — in a half-recumbent attitude, with a volume of " Blair's Sermons" in her hand — upon a richly carved and gilt sofa,, covered with violet Genoa velvet and silk fringe. " Who can it be ? " exclaimed she. *' 1 wonder ! " ejaculated Romford, taking a chair — an elegant gilt one, stufi*ed and covered en-suite with the sofa, as the upholsterers would say. " Soon see," rejoined Lucy, listening intently, with upraised hand to keep silence. *' Must be women, with their confounded pettikits ! " observed Facey ; " and can't get out of the carriage." " Hark, they come ! " added Lucy, dropping her hand as the solemn tramp, tramp, tramp, of old Balsam's heavy feet approached the door. It opened. " Mr. Hazey !— Mr. William Hazey ! " now announced Balsam — coming well into the room — in the clear distinct voice that Lucy had taught him ; whereupon Mrs. Somerville laid aside lier volume of " Blair's Sermons," and Facey arose from his white-^ and-gold chair, into which he had just subsided. Lucy, with folded arms, then made two of her best stage curtsies, one to Hazey, the other to Bill, motioning them respectively to conveniently-placed chairs as she did it. Facey seconded the motion, and all parties presently got seated. Mrs. Somerville, as usual, was extremely neat, and her beautiful hair was arranged to perfection. *' Mr. Hazey !— Mr. William Hazey ! " muttered Rom.ford>. 3in. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 17D conninf^ the matter orer in his mind, as he scrutinised the two with his httle, rovinc: pig-ejes, " Mr. Hazey and Mr. William Hazey ! Dash it ! this is the hard and sharp man — the chap the 'busman told me of." And Romford reckoned Hazey up in a minute. " Looks more like a mulhn-maker than a master of hounds," thouirht he. Mr. Hazey felt rather uncomfortable, for he was now in the pre- sence of a highly-bred gentleman, to whom a nobleman had lent his house, thus stamping him, as it were, with the impress of friendship ; and he thought, perhaps, that Mrs. Hazey ought to have accom- panied him in this visit of ingratiation. Added to which, he wasn't sure that he would be welcome on a Sunday. However, he got over that difficulty by recollecting that the old peacocks of footmen who let him in should have said " Xot at home," if Mr. Romford or Mrs. Somerville did not mean to see him ; so, omitting the paragraph he had arranged in two sections in his own mind — one referring to his own occupations as a master of hounds on the week days, the other alluding to the greater certainty of finding Mr. Romford and Mrs. Somerville together at home on a Sunday — he began to strain at an apology for Mrs. Hazey not coming, declaring she had got such a cold, she could hardly hold her head up. TViiereas, his" boy Bill knew that Hazey would not let her have the carriage. And Mrs. Somerville, who didn't care much about seeing Mrs. Hazey, accepted the apologies with the greatest readiness, ex- pressing her obligations for the intention, but her hopes that Mrs. Hazey would not think of coming until she was quite well, reflecting all the while on the good luck that Romford and she were in, by having got into the music-room, with the mirrors uncovered, and all the beautiful china and statuary dispLayed. Romford's mind, meanwhile, ran upon the probability of his guests wanting luncheon, and the unpleasantness of seeing his dinner voraciously despatched before his eyes. The weather having been duly produced and disposed of, Mr. Romford began to sound his brother master on the subject of hunting— scent, hounds, horses, the system of kennel — each thinking how he would like to have a chance of cheating the other : Romford settling in his own mind that the nutmeg-grey that scrubbed against carriages would carry Hazey capitally; Hazey, on his part, wondering whether Lightcrop's horse would be up to Mr. Romford's weight. He (Romford) didn't look such a monster out of his hunting things as people said he was. " Yours is a three-days-a-week pack, I think," said Facey, with the patronising air of a man who hunts four. X 2 180 ME. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. " Three and a bye," replied Hazey, anxious to make the most of liimself. " Not often a bye, I should think," thought Facey, scrutinising liim attentively. " I wonder you don't hunt four reg'larly," said Facey ; " if it was only for the sake of havin' the same hounds out together." "Well — yes — no — yes!" hesitated Hazey; "only ours is a country that lames a good many hounds, and I shouldn't like to attempt more tlian I could accomplish satisfactorily." " Only a question of a few more horses and hounds," replied Facey. "Yes ; but, then, horses and hounds involve £ — s — d," rejoined Hazey, with a solemn shake of the head. " Fiddle the farthins ! " exclaimed Facey ; " fiddle the farthins ! — I mean, grudge money for huntin'! Give anything for good hounds — anything in moderation, at least," added he. " Ah, but then we liaven't all got Mr. Romford's deep purse to dive into," rejoined Hazey, with a deferential bow to our great master. Hazey always wished to impress upon his boy Bill that he was poor. They then got into a dissertation upon hounds, — Hazey expa- tiating learnedly upon legs and loins ; Facey insisting upon nose as the si?ie qua non. " Nose, noss, nose, is my motto," said Facey, thumping Lord Lovetin's fine marqueterie centre table as he spoke. "Legs arc of no use," repeated he, "if they only drive the nose beyond the scent." Then Hazey sought to sound his brother master on the interest- ing subject of subscription ; whether his was guaranteed, whether it was well paid, whether he paid much for cover rent, or had the country found. Upon this subject, however, friend Facey could really give him very httle information. There was, he said, a subscription attached to the country, and he meant to maintain it, not on his own account, because in all probability he should let it accumulate, to found what he had always been most anxious to see, namely, a hospital for decayed sportsmen ; but because it might not be convenient to after-comers to hunt the country without a sub- scription, and indeed, upon the whole, he thought it rather tended to encourage sport, inasmuch as people always thought more highly of what they paid for, than what they had for nothin' ; and, altogether, Facey talked in such a magnificent way as fairly to shut up Mr. Hazey. The latter sat half lost in astonishment at Mr. Eomford's liberality, yet half afraid that he might ask him to contribute to the funds for the hospital. MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. ISl - So they were mnte for a time. Mr. Facey saw that he had taken the wind out of his brother master's sails., and he wondered how long he was going- to sit, and whether the mention of hinch would help to send him away. He thought it might, provided it were done cleverly. He would try. OLD BALSAM WARE CORNS 1 " "You're sifre you won't take any lunch," at length observed he, as if he had offered it before, muttering something about Cambridge brawn, venison pasty, rabbit pie (which latter there was) ; but Facey put such a decided negative upon his own proposition, that, though both Hazey and his boy Bill were extremely hungry and anxious for something to cat, yet neither of them had the courage to say that they would take any. Then, by way of keeping them up to the mark, Facey indulged in a tirade against luncheons generally, saying he never took any — he hated 18a Mli. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. to fritter fiway a good appetite piecemeal — adding, that if a man was hungry, he had better dine at once, and not make two bites of a cherry, as some did. The last ray of hope being thus utterly extinguished, there was nothing for it but to arise and depart ; so, after a few observa- tions about the crops and the state of the country, Hazey gave tlie boy Bill a wink, who forthwith used his leg like a mace, to draw his truant hat from under the table, and Hazey, having clutched his arm, arose, greatly in doubt, like the Watkinses, as to the right course to pursue, whether to offer his hand, or wait for Mr. llomford to tender his ; whether to go boldly up to Mrs. Somerville, and take his chance of a shake, or to bow from where he stood, and so lose the intimation the shake, if he got one, might convey. Romford, however, quickly cut the Gordian knot by tendering his great heavy hand to them both, in turn ; while Mrs. Somer- ville, rising from her violet-velvet throne, first rang the bell to summon the servants, and then, folding her arms, gave a couple of those captivating smiles and curtsies wherewith she used to express her gratitude to a Surrey audience after an encore. Nothing could be better done, for it relieved Mr. Hazey at once, letting him see that, though Mr. Romford was called upon, Mrs. Somerville would not consider herself properly visited until Mrs. Hazey had been there. Then the smiles were so sweet as to satisfy Mr. Hazey that she considered his part of the compliment properly performed. So he backed gaily towards the now opened door, treading heavily on the angry corns of old Balsam, who happened to have obtruded his great foot in the way. Then Short, seeing what had happened, took the lead towards the front door, leaving the now string-halting Balsam to follow at his leisure. " Away they go ! " said Romford to Lucy, as the music-room door closed, adding, " now let you and I go and see them off." So saying, Facey led the way to a side door that communicated with the back passage. Lucy and he then ascended the back stairs, and taking up positions on either side of the usual window of observation, generally occupied by the Dirties, obtained a good view of the mount. "It will be incumbent upon us to do that beggar," whispered Facey to Lucy, as Hazey, with a degafje air, approached the blue- coated, leather-breeched, cockaded groom, who now hurried his liorses up to the front door, Avhither the guests were conducted by Balsam and Short in due form. "They tell me that's the biggest rogue under the sun," con- MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 183 tinued Facey, as Hazey now swung himself carelessly into his saddle, and tit-tupped away from the door, provoking the caper that he seemed to chide. Then, meeting old Balsam as they returned to the music-room, liucy complimented him upon his performance, while Facey gave him a couple of ounces of shag, and a bottle of Lord Lovetin's Old Tom gin to drink with it. And as Hazey trotted gaily home, he thought to improve the occasion by pointing out to his boy Bill the superiority of well-bred people's manners over commoner ones, illustrating his position by a comparison of Mrs, Somerville's with those of Mrs. Watkins, greatly to the advantage of Mrs. Somerville : and there being now the chance of an intercourse, Mr. Hazey promoted a €ail from his wife, cushioning that inconvenient question, " AVho is Mrs. Somerville ? " with a general assertion that she was an extremely lady-like woman, who would be a great acquisition in Doubleimupshire. And Hazey reported most favourably of the Beldon establishment, saying, that the butler was out, but they were received' by two most respectable-looking family footmen, — not little, weedy, calveless shrimps, but great substantial men, who looked as if they had lived in the family all their lives. And Mrs. Hazey thought she would like to give them a mistress as well as a master. CHAFTER XXXI. MR. AND MRS. WATKIXS AGAIX. The usual three days' law having elapsed, our friends at Dalberry Lees began to look out for the return visit from our new master of hounds and his elegant sister ^Irs. Somerville, whereupon to found the further ingratiation of an invitation to dinner. Mrs. Lubbins was anxious to be doing, not having had an uproar for some time. But from the circumstance of the tight- booted teapot-handle maker having been mainly instrumental in resuscitating the Larkspur hunt under the auspices of Mr. Romford (believing him to be the other Mr. Romford), the honour of the opening meet Avould most likely have been accorded to the gentleman "who hunted for conformity," viz., Mr. AVatkins of Dalberry Lees, who gave his £100 a year to the hounds, and paid it punctually, which, we are sorry to say, was more than all the Doubleimupshireites did. However, the teapot-handle maker had 18 1 ME. FA GEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. it, and the Watkinses consoled themselves with the reflection that Mr. Eomford would soon find out what upstarts the Joseph Larges were, aiid appreciate them (the Watkinses) accordingly. It, therefore, did seem rather strange that our captivating heiress. Miss Cassandra Cleopatra, should array herself in her most becoming attire, — one morniug in cerulean blue, another in delicate pink, a third in virgin white with puce trimmings, and that no Mr. Romford, no Mrs. Somerville, should draw near the scene of her attractions. The Brogdales came, and the Bigmores came, and Mr. and Mrs. Nackington came ; but they didn't want any of these. They wanted Mr. Romford — Romford aJone, if they could get him, if not, with any other person. But when Independent Jimmy let out as he did to Miss Florence Brown, their lady's-maid, as he gave her a lift home on the buss from Mother Floyd's, the wise woman of the district, whom she had been to consult when she (Florence) would be married, that second-hand Neddy, as Jimmy called Mr. Hazey, had been at Beldon Hall, Mrs. AVatkins — all things considered — resolved that it was time to lay aside ceremony, and go boldly in for their dues. The Larges had not been punctilious, and she was quite sure the Hazeys wouldn't, so she wouldn't either. And the bloom having been taken off the introductory process by the Pippin Priory breakfast, Mrs. Watkins resolved not to wait any longer for the ceremony of the return call, but to assume the neighbourly fashion, and ask Mr. Romford and his sister Mrs. Somerville to come and dine, and stay all night at Dalberry Lees, and let the hounds meet there on the morrow. In truth, Lubbins had rather fallen off in her cooking for want of practice, and had it not been that the wages were large, and the "kitchen-stuff" liberal, she would infaUibly have been turning- Watkins's off"; for she was a show-off cook, and required the excitement of brandy and constant display : she didn't undertake mere family dinners. The kitchen-maid could do those. But as somehow people will not lend themselves out for the mere purpose of eating and drinking and showing their clothes, so the Watkins's invitation became more and more shirked (causing, we fear, a considerable amount of falsehood, too easily detected in the- country), until they could hardly raise a party at all. In vain they protracted the length of their invitations, — drew upon their acquaintances at three weeks instead of ten days or a fortnight. It always came to the same thing in the end— the table had to be shortened a third, if not full half ; and the least desirable part of the company only coming under these circumstances, the reader will readily imagine how important it was to the Watkinses, bent' altogether on ostentatious display, to make the most of such an MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 185 attraction as a new master of hounds — especially a master so lavourably circumstanced as the preat Mr. Romford of Abbeytield Park and Beldon Hall, J. P., D.L., patron of, &c. Miss, too, as we have said before, was marriageable ; indeed had had two or three indifferent offers — a curate, a cornet, and a nibble from a count, or a person who called himself one — though some said ho was only a courier. And hope deferred having made Mrs. Watkins's heart rather sick, she resolved to be doing without further delay. So, having duly consulted Lubbins as to the state of the larder, j\Iiss Cassandra Cleopatra, who acted as amanuensis for mamma, drew forth a sheet of her highly-musked cream-laid note-paper, and with many twirls of the pen, and appeals to the ceiling for inspiration, at length produced the following document : — " DALBErwEY Lees, " Tuesday. " Mt Dear Mrs. Somerville, — If Mr. Romford has not yet fixeil his meets for next ireek, icoulcl you ohli'ge me J)y having one Mre, and giving us the iiteasure of your company the day before, when we will endeavour to get a feu: sporting neighbours to meet you? We dine at seven ; but, as there is no moon, pray come early. Mr. Watkins {who promises Mr. Romford a good fox) joins in Icindest regards with, my dear Mrs. Somerville, *' Ever yours, very sincerely, " Letitia Watki^^s." To which, in order to prevent any mistake, Willy caused to be added the following : — '* P.S. Of course you will stmj all night.''' The note, thus amended, was then sealed with the large butter- pat seal of the Watkins's arms — three rings, three doves, three bulls, four bears, and five stags ; and, after a division as to whether Lord Lovetin's arms should be added or not, it was decided that it would be grander to do so, and the note was ultimately addressed to — '-MRS. SOMERVILLE, ^' At the Right Honourable " Lord Viscount Lovetins " Beldon Halt;' and despatched by a groom in the "Watkins's livery. 186 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. The note produced very different sensations in the mind of Mrs. Somerville and her pseudo-brother Mr. Eomford : Mrs. Somerville was all for goin^^ to Dalberry Lees ; Mr. Facey was all for staying at home. He didn't feel comfortable out, he said. The napkin business had rather upset him, Lucy having explained to him that they were not meant to carry away ; and she had had the Pippin Priory one washed and returned with a note, saying that her brother had taken it away accidentally in his 'kerchief. Then Facey hadn't a dress-coat ; but Lucy would undertake that Tick would have one down in no time. Still he demurred. The women bothered him. He didn't know what to say to them. He didn't know how to get them in to dinner. He didn't know how to get them out again. But Lucy combated all the objections. She would tell him what to say ; she would teach him what to do. He should have one of the Dirties in, to practise with beforehand. Very little talk did for the mistress of the house, \vho was always too busy thinking about her dinner, and praying that the sweets might come in safe, to pay much attention to what was said. And so poor Facey was at length obliged to submit ; and having duly conned over his country as far as he knew it, he determined to meet at Dalberry Lees on the Wednesday, which would give him the non-huntiug Tuesday to get there upon. Whereupon Lucy reciprocated the sweetness of Mrs. AVatkins's note, and sent her answer back with the turbot-seal crest. She then wrote off to town for a dress-coat for Facey, scarlet, with velvet collar and frosted buttons ; and then began to consider what she herself should wear on the important occasion. Great was the joy at Dalberry Lees on receipt of the Boldon Hall answer, and forthwith Miss Watkins was reinstalled at her Pembroke writing-table, issuing the first batch of invitations for parties to come to meet Mr. Romford and Mrs. Somerville at dinner on Tuesday next, apologising for the shortness of the notice, and requesting the favour of an early answer. And, as guests will come if you can only bait the trap properly, — and there was a good deal of excitement and curiosity in the country about the new master and his handsome sister, — the party was soon made up, mucli to the joy of the Watkins's and the satisfac- tion of Mrs. Lubbins, who had really begun to think she would never have another uproar worth mentioning at Dalberry Lees, and who instantly commenced a grand scouring of the country for consumables. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 187 CHAPTER XXXII. DALBERRY LEP:S. The Watkinses were now in their glory ; dressing and dinner- giving being about the extent of WiUy's abiHty, while the ladies thought simpering and expanding their persons in preposterous crinolines were the great end and aim of society. These are the people who exaggerate a fashion till they make it ridiculous. They looked forward with great pleasure to showing off their new dresses, and felt the importance to be acquired by entertaining the new master. Mrs. iSomerville, too, was a charming woman ; and altogether they were most fortunate in securing them. The outside plot thickened. So far from people shirking them, as they used to do, they asked to be allowed to bring friends, to exchange a son for a daughter, or vice versa. There was a great desire to see Mr. Eomford in a room. Some said he was a bear, others that he was a beau. There was a great difference of opinion. They wanted to judge for themselves. The Romfords, on their part, set about maintaining their position. Mr. Tick, of Civil Row, responded gallantly to Lucy's order, sending Mr. Facey down a splendid scarlet dress-coat, with crimson velvet collar, silk linings and facings ; also a pair of speculative black kerseymeres and two white vests ready for putting on ; altogether rather a striking get-up, and most hand- somely packed in a new deal box, directed to '* Francis Romford, Esq., at the Lord Viscount Lovetin's, Beldon Hall. By passenger train." Though the address of Beldon Hall alone was tolerably taking, still Lucy found that the addition of the " Lovetin " title precipitated orders very considerably. Indeed she felt as if she could have half London for sending for. And she was no niggard in her orders, either for Facey, her mother, or herself ; writing for cloaks, Malta shawls, mantles, muffs, and Spanish mantillas, for herself ; Stiltons, and bloaters, and nourishing stout — whatever the Lovetin cellar was without — for Facey. Whenever Lucy received an article of dress that she did not like, she repacked it and sent it to Betsey Shannon, or some of her old stage friends, as a present. Her dashed dresses she adapted to Ruth Mustard — Dirtiest of the Dirty, as she was originally called, but who, under Lucy's skilful guidance, presently became *' Cleanest of the Clean." 188 MR. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. Kutb, as we said before, was a prcuty girl, — pretty even in (Ushabille, — very pretty when cleaned and properly put on ; and she took to lyin"^ as readily as she had done to picking and steal- ing. Though Mrs. Somerville couldn't hope to pass her off at Dalberry Lees as anything but a Mustard, still she held out to Kuth that if her own maid, who she said was at Tunbridge Wells for the benefit of her health, did not get better, Ruth might, by due care and attention, be installed in her very lucrative place ; so that Dirtiest of the Dirty was for the present entitled to rank as a lady's-maid in the table of precedence amongst servants. And to the now all-absorbing Dalberry Less feast let us now devote our attention. It may seem strauge in these gastronomic times, when a master of hounds is supposed to be able to eat two or three dinners a day, that Mr. Romford should have got through so long a time with the Heavyside Hunt without ever having assisted at any of their festivities ; but so it was, and he had now all his duties in the eating line to learn and perform. Of course he had often put in at Squire This or Farmer That's for a "snnck," and came out with a wedge of cheese in one hand and a slice of bread in the other ; but those scrambles have no sort of affinity to the stately solemnities of modern English dinner parties. Lucy felt this, and greatly feared that her brother Romford might commit himself if he had not some little previous instruction ; and, knowing the nature of rehearsals, she got up a drawing-room scene by seating Dirtiest of the Dirty in a chair in the breakfcist-room, while Facey hovered near till Dirty No. 2 (supposed to be the Watkins's butler) entered the room and announced dinner ; Avhereupon Facey, tendering his arm to Dirtiest of the Dirty, led her off to the Beldon Hall dining-room, just as he would have to lead off Mrs. Watkins or some other lady at the Dalberry Lees feast. As to talking, Lucy again assured Facey very little conversation would do ; a few compliments on the ladies' dress, or remarks on the weather, or the splendour of the house, being amply sufhcient. All he had to mind was, if he came after another lady, not to tread on her train. And after two or three attempts, our master of the hounds accomplished the dining-room manoeuvre jDretty well, though he still did not like the idea of what he had to go through after. *' All very well," muttered he, " tellin' one there's nothin' to do after ; it's very much like tellin' a man there's nothin' on the other side of the fence, when perhaps there's a great yawnin' ditch big enough to hold both him and his horse." -However, friend Facey felt he was committed to the engage- ment, and, much as he disliked the idea, he must go through if Mli. FACJEY BOMFOBB'S HOUNDS. 189 with courage and fortitude. " Grin and bear it," as he said. So he left the rest of the arrano^ements to Lucy. At length came the aU-important day, and with it canic Independent Jimmy, and the melon frame, to convey our party to Dalberry Lees, — Mr. Romford, Mrs. Somerville, and Dirtiest of the Dirty. '' Ye cannot all get in there," said Jimmy, looking round, as tlio trio appeared at the door to follow their boxes into the frame. "No : I'm goin' outside with you," replied Facey, chucking his grey wing cape on to the box ; and, leaving Lucy and her maid to cram in as they could, he bounded up, and was presently sharing the box-seat apron with Jimmy. ^^ Gip r' said Jimmy, jerking his reins as he heard the door close ; and away they rumbled, Jimmy applying the brake to the wheel down the hill to the lodges, lest the vehicle should run the old weak nags off their legs. They presently shot through them at a sort of shuffling canter. " Dalberry Lees," now announced Facey, as they got upon the turnpike. " Thout ye'd be gannin' there," replied Jimmy ; " left some fish and pea-soup there i' the mornin'." " Soup and fish ? '^ said Facey. " Don't they make pea-soup at home ? " '*A — why — yes," replied Jimmy, flourishing his flagellator. "It wasn't pea-soup ; it was some stuff they get from Lunnon — tortle they call it : comes from the Ship and Tortle Tavern." " The deuce ! " exclaimed Facey, half afraid of the consequences ; "goin' to have a reg'lar blow-out, are they ? " " Blow-out. ay ! bout up half the poltry in the country." " Humph 1 " grunted Mr. Eomford, seeing his worst fears wore about to be realised. He had dreamt that he had tumbled over ii poodle in the drawing-room, and squirted a bottle of porter right into a lady's face. " AYho's there goin' besides ourselves ? " asked Romford, wishing to know the worst at once. " Better be killed than frightened to death," thought he. '• A, why, the house is full ; and arre got to go for the Dobbin- sons after ar set ye doon, and then for aud Mowser and the Dusts. Arm sure ar don't know when ar shall get them all there." Saying which, Jimmy gave each of his old nags a refresher wiih his whip, as if to say, " Let us get ye set doon as quick as ar can.''' So they bowled along at a somewhat amended pace. There was indeed a great to-do at Dalberry Lees. It was so long since the Watkinses had had a great spread, that many things had " gone to pieces quite cliver" in the hands of the servants .since the event. The late butler, for instance, had imposed upon 190 MR. FACET ROMFOBirS HOUNDS. ingenuous AYilly by showing him a shelf full of lamp-glasses when he left, saying he " 'Sposed he needn't take them all down," and when they came to be wanted taken down they were all found to be broken, the whole sides having been placed outside for show. Many other departments were in a similar state of dilapidation, so that the energies of the family w^ere by no means confined to the acquisition of fish, soups, or poultry. Besides, a dinner party and a house full of company are very different things. A dinner party can combine the united services of the whole establishment ; whereas a house full of company scatters the forces to the different departments, thus depriving the commander-in-chief of any extra assistance. Then, what with men who come without valets, men who come without grooms, coachmen who won't wash their masters' carriages, to say nothing of the requirements of those most elegant and sensitive creatures, the ladies' maids — who are often much more difficult to please than their mistresses, — the house is regularly turned up-side down. The servants considering their characters for hospitality quite as much involved as those of their masters, the only wonder is that anything gets into the dining-room at all. On the last occasion, when Willy thought to have a nice dish of liashed venison for his dinner after the company were gone, he found some lingering grooms had eaten it all for their luncheons ! Very diftcrent are the toils of town hospitality to those of the country. But we are now approaching those magnificent crest-decorated lodges that aroused Independent Jimmy's wrath on the occasion of the Romfords' arrival, and the leafless trees show the glittering- sun lighting up the many-windowed house as if for a compli- mentary illumination. A rather winding approach through a few flat iron-fenced fields discloses its further proportions ; not so fine as Pippin Priory, not so large as Beldon Hall, but still very good and comfortal)le. Facey, however, wished himself going away from it instead of coming. A few jip-jips and jerk-jerks from Independent Jimmy lays the vehicle well alongside the blue pipe- clayed steps of the sash-windoAved front-door, and Jimmy's ring immediately conjures up a tableau of livery footmen with a portly butler in the background. The melon-frame compartments then began to fold, slide, and recede, and the iron steps being clattered down, first Lucy and then Dirty, being extricated from their confinement, began to shake themselves out to their natural, or rather unnatural, proportions. Mr. Romford, too, alights, and stamps and flops himself generally — thinking that life would be very pleasant if it were not for its enjoyments. " Ar'll tac the luggage roond," now said Independent Jimmy, MR. FACET MOMFOBB'S HOUNDS. 191 regaining his box, whereupon Lucy took Mr. Romford's arm, while Dirtiest of the Dirty sheered off for the back settlements under convoy of a passing page. The procession then proceeded. "Mr. Romford and Mrs. Somerville," announced Lacy, slowly and distinctly to Mr. Burlinson, the portly butler, who now duly received thein at the hands of his subalterns the footmen, and forthwith proceeded to pilot them along the passages just as he used to pilot the great guests at his late master's. Lord Omnibus, until the exigencies of Burlinson's betting-book compelled him to pawn his lordship's plate. Burlinson, like Bob Short, had under- gone captivity ; but we will draw' a veil over all that. We are now going to raise the curtain for the domestic tableau of " recep- tion " — or, perhaps, " deception." Although when the Romford-Somerville alarm-bell rang, Mrs. AVatkins was half choked with answer at Priscilla Palhster, the housemaid, for not having the best lace-fringed toilet-cover on to Mrs. Somerville's dressing-table, she yet managed to smother the remainder of her rage, and had subsided into a luxurious cabriole irame chair in burnished gold, covered in needlework, with a copy of the " Cornhill ^lagazine " in her hand, wiien her visitors were heralded into her splendid drawing-room by her obsequious butler. Miss, too, who had been busy examining the fib and folds of her new dress in her own cheval glass, had rushed down the ])ack stairs and got herself settled to her harp, the exertion of running- imparting a slight glow to her naturally pale cheek. Mrs. Watkins was so absorbed with her book that Burlinson had opened the door and got his guests piloted half up the room ere she awoke to a consciousness of the presence of strangers, when, laying down the number on the table, she hastily arose and advanced to meet them. Standing on her own territory, sur- rounded with elegance and splendour, she felt that now was her time to patronise ; so, meeting Mrs. Somerville, she seized her eagerly with both hands and imprinted a kiss on her right cheek. Facey stood transfixed, for he was not sure but he ought to reciprocate the compliment ; but Lucy, anticipating the dilemma, just drew him a little forward, saying, w^ch a pressure on his arm, **' My brother, Mr. Romford ; " and the gobby girl then entering- the room and joining the group, they got through the presenta- tions without farther confusion. Chairs were then the order of the day. If the half-hour before a London dinner party is a bore, pity, oh pity — the sorrows of a man — a poor young man — condemned to two mortal hours in the country before that interesting period.. Tea has somewhat come in to the relief of the ladies, but it does uothing for mQii — especially those unaccustomed to take the bloom 192 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. off their appetites. Indeed it was rather a stumbling-block id friend Facey ; for Mrs. Watkins, having proposed some to Lucy, who declined it, said she supposed it was no use offering any to Mr. Romford, whereupon our master replied " No ; he'd come to dine, and not to tea," an observation that the gobby girl giggled at, thinking it was meant to be funny. And hei-e let us say a little more about our heroine — heroine Xo. 2, at least, for we mean to be so extravagant as to indulge in two. If Miss Cassandra Cleopatra would not have been picked out as a beauty in a crowd, she would nevertheless have passed muster as an exceedingly showy, handsomely-dressed girl, being well set up and set out, with a calm, cool, self-possession, betokening either perfect ease or perfect indifference. Taken however singly, as we have her this evening, without any competitor, surrounded by all the luxuries and elegancies of life, she was calculated to make a speedy impression, and as she lithped and talked — and lithped and talked, now about horthes, now about houthes, Facey gradually and insensibly began to be attracted by her. At first he thought her lisp was affected, and that she ought to be whipped, but he .-soon got used to it, and then thought it rather pretty indeed. He presently summed up his observations by a mental repetition of the opinion he delivered as he saw her getting into the carriage at Beldon Hall, namely, that she was a good-like lass. AVhile all this was going on, Mr. Willy Watkins, wliose whole soul, as we said before, was centered in dressing and dinnei* giving, was taking his last survey of the dining-room, preparatory to handing it over to Lieutenant-Colonel Burlinson. It was, indeed, a grand display. There wasn't an article of plate in the house, except perhaps Willy's silver shaving-box, but what was enlisted into the service, either on the table or sideboards. At length, having got everything most tastefully arranged on the usual principle of appearing to have twice as much money as they had, Willy took a last lingering look, and then, passing noise- lessly into the passage, crowned himself with a drab wide-awake, with an eagle's feather in the parti-coloured band, and came whistling along into the drawing-room, as if unaware of any arrival. " Ah, my dear Mrs. Somerville ! " exclaimed he, with well- feigned surprise, advancing gaily towards her with extended hand, " I didn't know you were come. Pray, 'scuese my not being in to receive you," continued he, as he squeezed the pretty widow's little hand with considerable cmjJi'essement. Mrs. W. couldn't see that, he knew. Then, without waiting for an introduction, he turned short upon Facey, with his puddingy paw, and said, MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 193 " Most happy to see yon, sir," shaking his hand as he said it. " I hope you are quite well, Mr. Eomford ? I hope your hounds are quite well ? I hope your horses are quite well ? " Just as if they formed part of the family. Romford assured him they were all quite well, and would be ready to bucket a fox for him in the mornin'. Whereupon the dreadful word fox shot through Willy's heart like a dagger, and almost deprived him of utterance. " Why were foxes ever made ? " thought he. " Confound their nasty aroma ! Confound their nasty precipitation I " Then Facey, ever anxious to do business, began sounding him about the game at Dalberry Lees : whether there were any pheasants, whether there were many hares ; if there would be any harm in his looking over the j^lace occasionally with his dog and his gun, meaning of course, might he shoot there. And w^hile the photographer in vain endeavoured to read his wife's meaning by her looks, the waning day was suddenly extinguished by the entry of the servants Avith lights — lights — more lights. This gave Mrs. AYatkins an opportunity of saying, that perhaps Mrs. Somerville might like to see her room ; w^hich offer being joyfully accepted, the drop-scene presently fell on the first act of the Dalberry Lees drama, by Mr. Watkins leading Facey off to his apartment. It must be a great relief to a lady getting away from the forced conversation of the overture to the tranquiUity of her own bed- room, there to economise and rearrange her small talk, and contemplate the coming glory — perhaps victory of dress. On a spacious sofa, between the magnificent bed and the sparkling wood and coal fire, lay a most voluminous coloured- ribboned and twilled and flounced and flowered robe, so puffy and distended that a little distance would have made it look like a lady reclining at her ease. On a richly inlaid Indian work-table on the right, lay a splendid wreath of pearls, with three important pendants. " Oh, what loves of pearls ! " ejaculated Mrs. Watkins, clasping her hands, thinking how she would cut Mrs. Somerville down with her diamonds. Meanwhile, Mr. Watkins having got Mr. Eomford into the state bedroom, looked round with an air of complacency, hoping there was everything our master wanted, adding, that there was plenty of time to dress, the first gong not having sounded, and there would be half an hour after that. And, having withdrawn, Facey, who could jump into his clothes in ten minutes, thought, that as he might not get his pipe after dinner, he had better have it before. >So drawing a lounging chair to the fire, he dived into his o 194 MB. FACEY EOMFOKD\S HOUNDS. side-pocket for the material, and was presently blowinp^ a cloud, Tvith a grand illumination going on all around. He didn't care for the candles — not he. A most scientific roll of thunder then presently proceeded from the gong, reminding Lucy of the cavern scene in Ber Freischutz, and noting the lapse of time to friend Facey. Having finished his pipe, he then inducted himself into his new clothes — so handsomely furnished on credit." After a satisfactory contemplation of himself in the mirror, he at length left the elegant room ; and, following the richly- patterned crimson stair-carpet down below, he presently found himself in a confluence of comers and stayers, all making for the drawing-room door. There was Mr. Burlinson receiving the candle of one guest and the name of another, while a couple of footmen stood bowing and motioning the ladies to Mr. Watkins's study, now made iuto a cloak-room for them. Mr. Eomford then walked into the drawing-room with the consequence of a master of hounds, combined with the air of a man having a billet for the night. The man who sleeps where he dines always has a sort of crow over the pumps and pocket-comb one, who has to turn out in the cold — snow, blow, wind, or ram, whatever may have chanced to come in the meantime. What a bore, turning out and finding the country half a foot under snow — getting a shoeful of it at starting by way of convincing one of the fact ! CHAPTER XXXIII. THE DALBERRY LEES UPROAR IN HONOUR OF MR. ROMFORD. People will talk to each other even up to the last moment — while some even begin before a quick-eared departing listener is well out of hearing. Mr. Romford, on entering the drawing-room, now disturbed a covey of male and female inquisitives all clus- tered around Burke's bulky book of the Landed Gentry, as it lay open on the richly-covered side-table. AVe need scarcely say they were down on the letter '' R ''■ — R, for Romford — Romford, here it is I — " Romford, Francis, Abbeyfield Park, J. P., D. L., patron of three livings " — that's your man. It seems that old ^liss Mowser, who knew, or pretended to know, everything, had raised a doubt as to the identity of our hero, Miss Mowser contending that the Abbeyfield Romford was a little man with dark hair, whereas this Mr. Romford was said to be a big one with red or gingery hair. Not that she had ever seen MB. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 195 either Mr. Eomford, but • and here her narrative was inter- rupted by the entry of the big Mr. Romford himself. Hush ! was then the word. The book closed, and parties shied away from the table as if they had not been looking at it, but at " Ye Manners and Customs of the English " instead. Mr. Watkins then advanced to do the duties of induction by presenting some of the non- hunting portion of his patrons— Mr. Romford, Mr. LoUey ; Mr. Romford, Mrs. Dobbinson ; Mr. Romford, Mr. Dust ; and one gave him a bow, and another a hand, and a third both bow and hand. Then some sportsmen came wriggUng up : men whom he ought to know, but, somehow, could not identify without their coats and their caps ; and Facey addressed one man as Silver, who he ought to have called Salver ; and another, whose grandfather had been a hatter, by his nickname of Mr. Felt, instead of that of Mr. Finch. Altogether he was very uncomfortable, and felt he was making a mull of it. Why the deuce did he come ? He had plenty to eat at home— drink too. He didn't know what to do ; whether to stand by the fire or sit on the sofa, or take up a paper and pretend to read. Lucy, on her part, was as cool and collected as a handsome, well-dressed woman who has received the unanimous plaudits of the gods of thp Victoria Theatre might be expected to be, con- scious that the ladies must admire her new dress, whatever they thought of her figure and complexion. The gentlemen, she knew, would admire those and her figure not the less for being finely developed. So she twisted and turned, and smiled, and showed her fine shoulders and her fine teeth, and laid herself out for general admiration. And a good deal of admiration she got, much to Miss AYatkins's mortification, who did not fancy being cut out in that way in her papa s own house. But she would try if she couldn't upset Mrs. Somerville from Beldon Hall. So she quietly bided her time. At length Mr. Burlinson the butler's large white waistcoat was seen looming up the room, without the customary convoy of guests, and Mr. Watkins, who had previously requested friend Facey to take his wife into dinner, having finished a platitude he was enunciating about the state of the moon, now presented^ his great red arm to Mrs. Somerville and led her off to the radiant apartment illuminated with the joint efibrts of fire, candles, and oil. It was a fjerfect blaze of light. Mrs. Somerville having trod the passage, entered the dining-room with measured step, like a Tragedy Queen, and subsided in her seat on Mr. Watkins's riglit. Then Dirtiest of the Dirties' lessons operated favourably ; for Facey, having seen Lolley, and Dobbinson, and Dust, the man whom he called Silver (but Salver), Felt, and all duly passed off, o 2 196 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. brought up the rear with Mrs. Watkins : onr master inwardly hoping, as he crossed Avhat he called the vale of the entrance-hall, that — in schoolboy parlance — her meat might presently stop her mouth. So they sailed majestically up the spacious dining-room to the top of the table, where, by one of those masterly manoeu- vres that ladies understand so much better than men, Facey found Cassandra Cleopatra spreading her napkin over her voluminous dress on his right, just as Mrs. Watkins subsided in her great arm-chair on the left. " Rot it," thought Eomford, '^ but I shall be talked to death between you." He then picked the bun out of his napkin, and spreading as much of the latter over his legs as his fair friend's dress allowed him to do, he took a glance down the table to see what there was in the way of what he called " grub." " Humpli ! I thought it had been a dinner," observed he, in tone of disappointment, to his hostess ; " but there seems nothin' but fruit and things, like a flower-show." " Dinner a la Russe,'^ replied ^Irs. Watkins, thinking he Avas joking, at the same time handing him a finely-embroidered French bill of fare. "Ah, there's nothin' like a good cut at a round of beef when one's hungry," observed Facey, laying it down again. A servant, with two plates of soup, then asked him whether he would take thick or clear turtle ? "Thick," replied Facey, thinking it would be the most sub- stantial of the two. The servant then set it down before him. " Here ! give us both ! " exclaimed he, seeing how little there Avas in the plate he had got. He then took the other and placed it in front of him until he was done with the first. And he supped and slushed just like one of his own hounds. " What's this stuff? " now demanded Facey, as a servant offered him a green glass of something. "Punch, sir," replied the man. " Set it down," replied Romford, continuing his soup. Having finished both plates of turtle, he quaffed off' the glass, and was balancing himself on his chair, raking the guests fore and aft, and considering whether mock-turtle or real turtle was best, when his lisping friend on his right interrupted his reverie by asking him if he was fond of flowers. " AYhoy, yes," replied Facey, carelessly, " they are well enough in their way," adding, " and I'm fond of hounds, but I don't like havin' them in the dinner-room." Miss saw she had made a wrong cast, so did not follow up the inquiry by pointing out the beauty of the heaths and geraniums MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 197 in the blue and silver vase before her, as she intended doing. Facey then got some fish, not so much as he liked, but still he would take it on account. So, helping himself copiously to lobster-sauce — taking nearly half the boat — he proceeded to attack his turbot with great avidity. Then came some hock and white hermitage ; next, some in- comprehensible side-dishes, or rather entrees, for, of course, they never got on the table at all ; then some sparkling Moselle and Burgundy, followed by more anonymous viands, of all of which Facey partook greedily, not knowing but that each chance might be the last. And when he had about ate to repletion, and was balancing himself as before on his chair, a servant came and offered him some mutton, which he couldn't resist, saying, as he took it, " I wish you'd brought me that at first." Xext came the •^ sweet and dry," to which he paid the same compliment, of wishing it had come before, observing confidentially to Mrs. Watkins, that he thought champagne was just the best white wine there was, adding, that Lucy and he managed a bottle between them almost every hunting day. Meanwhile Miss Cassandra, baffled with her flowers, but anxious to be doing, thought to ingratiate herself by asking him a pertinent question connected with the chase : namely, whether he liked ladies hunting ? " Xo — hate it," replied he, with a frown and an angry shake of his broad shoulders. Miss was glad of that, for she was something like Mrs. Rowley Rounding, better adapted for driving than riding.. So she said she thought ladies had no business out hunting. " Dangerous enough for the men," replied Facey, filling his mouth full of poLato ; adding, " besides, they're always gettin' in the way." Haviufr finished his mutton, they now offered him some turkey. Facey eyed it intently, wishing it, too, had come before. " Well — no," said he, after a pause, " ar can't eat any more ! " So saying, he dived his hands into his trousers pockets, and stretched out his legs, as if lie was done. But his persecution was not over yet. After another round of " sweet or dry," the game began to cir- culate — grouse, Avoodcocks, partridges, snipes — to all of which offers our master returned a testy negative. *' Xo ! no I " ex- claimed he, upon a third tease, "ar've had enough." Still there were the sweets to come — sweets without end — sweets in every sort ot disguise — for Lubbins was great in that line. And they baited Facey with creams and jellies, and puffs and pastry, till he was half frantic. 198 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. "A man should have ten stomachs instead of one," muttered he, *' to stand such work." He thought the dinner never would be done : he had never been so tormented before. If that was high life, he didn't want any more of it. Give him his victuals when he wanted them — what he wanted, and no more. Rot the fellow ! there he was again ! Footman (Avith a silver dish). — '' Litth fondieu, sir ? " Faceij. — "No, ye beggar ! I don't want any more ! " growled he. And, if it had not been for the look of the thing, Miss would qnite as soon that our hero had not been so interrupted, for it interfered greatly with the progress of her proceedings. When- ever she thought she was what Facey would call well settled to the scent, a servant was sure to come and put her out. She wanted to know if he liked music — she wanted to know if he liked dancing — she wanted to know if he liked archery. At length there were symptoms of a lull. The chopped cheese having made its circuit, was duly followed by Port wine, Beaujolais» Badminton cup, bitter and sweet ales ; and Facey began to feel a little more comfortable. His roving pig-eyes raked either side of the table — now glancing at Lolly, now at Miss Mowscr, now at Felt, now at Salver, now at Lucy, and anon at Mrs. Watkins. Then they reverted to his fair neighbour on his right. " Good- looking lass," thought he, examining her minutely behind. "Good head and neck, good shoulders ;" just as he would look at a horse. And at that moment a thought struck him that she might be his " Cream or water ice, sir ? " now asked a footman. " Who said I wanted either?" growled Facey, just as he would to a shopkeeper who asked him, " What's the next article, sir ? " Miss, who thought that ices made her nose red, declined any also ; and, passing her napkin across her rosy lips, she prepared for a little probing. " Is Beldon Hall comfortable ? " lisped she. " Oh, yes," rej^lied Facey, " comfortable enough ; more room than we want, a good deal." " It's a good thing to have plenty of room," lisped the lady. " Not if you've to fix it," replied Facey. " Is Abbey field large ? " asked Miss. " Tol-lol," replied Facey. "Make up tAventy or five-and-twenty beds, p'r'aps." " Indeed ! " lisped Miss. " That's a good many." " Master of hounds must be prepared for chance visitors," oil- served he. " Never know how many you'll sit down to dinner till the day comes." Miss thought she would like that. MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 199 " Is there a good neighbourhood ? " " Much the same as elsewhere ;" adding, "people all get sucked up to London, now-a-days." " London's a charming place !" ejaculated Miss Watkins ; "but I never can get par and mar to go there." " I. don't think so," replied our master. "Give me the country — give me huntin', and shootin', and fishin'," added he; "and oi'l give moy share of Lunnon to any one who likes it." Just then a persecution of fruit commenced — pineapple, grapes, and Jersey pears arrived — thus making a break in the conversation, and removing the occasion of an argument on the London point.. Miss wanted to coincide, if she could ; and, luckily, a most fortu- nate subject came to her aid — she touched the right chord at last :, " Was Mr. Romford musical ? " " Yery I " i-eplied Facey, brightening up ; " play the flute beau- tiful I" — [Of all broken-winded, asthmatical artistes, Facey Rom-, ford was the most dreary and forlorn ; still he flattered himself, if he had set up as a professor, he would have made a great fortune !] " Very," replied he. " Play the flute beautiful," was the answer he gave to Miss AVatkins's inquiry. " Indeed I " rejoined she, smiling. " I wish you would come, and accompany me sometimes." " Well," said he, " oi'l do that with pleasure." " Can you play Blumenthal's Priere des Matflofs ? " " No ; but oi can play ' Dixie's Land,' ' Old Bob Ridley,' and a heap of other pop'lar airs. Xobody knows what flute-playing really is, who hasn't heard me." And the science of " eating made easy " having been further developed by Burlinson helping them all round to a glass of wine and ottering them another, an ominous lull suddenly took place in the conversation, and all the guests arose simultaneously — the gentlemen standing a pace or two back, while the ladies extri- cated their enormous crinolines from under the table. Then, the door being opened by the obsequious host, Mrs. Somerville sailed. out of the room, with the same stately air with which she entered it ; and, after a little of the usual mock-modesty about each not going first, Mrs. Watkins at length got the whole party collected, and drove them before her like a flock of sheep. And, having i-cturned them back into the radiant drawing-room, she devoted herself to the development of her Beldon Hall friend ; while the gentlemen closed up at the table, to sec what they could make of, old Facey. Lucy played and sang in the drawing-room, and Facey talked about hunting in the dining one, acquitting them-_ selves with considerable ability. ■ The ladies thought Mrs. Somerville would be pretty, if it wasn't 200 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. for her affected manner ; and Facey delivered a lecture to the men on the character and habits of the fox, very much in the style of a gamekeeper. Though tliey might think his manner queer, they couldn't gainsay his facts. At length our friend, who was no drinker, having passed the wine two or three times, asked his host if he hadn't better " stop the tap " ? and, the proposition seeming to meet with general approval, there was another unanimous rise from the table, and a general consultation of whiskers and ties. They then followed Mr. Romford out of the room, who led the way, as he said, to the holloa of the distant music in the drawing-room. Very clear and sounding it was ! How he wished he had brought his flute — would have tickled his trout in no time ! He then opened the door, and astonished himself with a blaze of light — fourfold what it was when he left. Then came a charge of tea and coffee trays and cakes, and everything a man doesn't want ; and Facey was hunted about till he almost upset one. " Rot it, if this is pleasure," muttered he, when the Cura9oaman came with his picturesque bottle, "ar don't want any more of it." And he was heartily glad when the sound of wheels outside the house proclaimed the coming conclusion ; still more happy when the footmen began announcing the carriages, and the Paterfamih'ases commenced beckoning their wives and daughters, and talking about not keeping their valuable horses waiting, standing shivering and shaking in the cold. At length, alter many trots to the front door, Mr. Watkins got the last of the leavers away ; and, it not being prudent to indulire in the usual worry before strangers and remanets, after a slight discharge of seltzer and soda, the instincts of all the party seemed to point towards bed. So there was a general bobbing and cooing, and bidding of good-nights —with hopes that Mrs. Somerville an\l Mr. Romford found everything in their rooms that they wanted. And, as the only thing Mr. Facey particularly wanted was his pipe, and he had that with him, he unhesitatingly answered "Yes." And he went along, knocking his knees together, well pleased that the penance was over. Barring the mistake of old Felt, he didn't know that he had done so far amiss. Callin' Salver Silver, was nothin' — just a slip of the tongue ; but the other was awkward : however, it couldn't be helped. So, taking off and putting his new dress scarlet carefully away in the wardrobe, he resumed his morning jacket ; and drawing a luxuriously-cushioned easy-chair right in front of the fire, he adjusted and lit his pipe, and then soused himself down in its voluminous depths to enjoy his sublime tobacco. " Well," mused he to himself, as he puffed and smoked ; " well, MK FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 20L old boy, jou are well laid in here — that white-shouldered ^irl is evidently in love with you ! Quite inclined to meet you half way, old gal ! " It may seem strange that it should not have occurred to a fox- hunting fortune-hunter like Mr. Romford, that Miss Cassandra Cleopatra Watkins was the very sort of girl he was in search of ; but then the reader must take into account the fact that he was a perfect stranger in the country, with no one but Independent Jimmy to give him any information, and that neither Mrs. Somer- ville nor her mother were at all likely to forward any matrimonial arrangement. So friend Facey was left a good deal to his own devices, — to pick up what he could from this person and from that ; and, having picked it up, to put that and that together, so as to make a reliable story of the whole. To be sure, Miss Cassandra Cleopatra was good enough to inform him, very early in the day, that she Avas an only child ; but there were a good many more things that Mr. Facey would like to know, and that she could not inform him of — where the money was, for instance ; whether it was settled, and so on ; above all, how much there was of it. " The moihQv-fariiilias, too, seems to be quite agreeable I Won- der what the father would say ? That confounded uncertificated bankrupt," as he called his host, " is far too young," continued he. " Wonder if there's any way, now, of playin' at leapfrog with the money — passin' it over the present holder's back, so as to pre- vent his spendin' it, and securing it to some one beyond? Should think there was," continued he, blowing a voluminous upward cloud, after a long-drawn respiration. "The lawyers can do almost anything — anything except make a scent I Scent's a queer thing!" continued he: " dash'd if it isn't. Wonder if we'll have one to-morrow ? " And then he emitted another great cloud, thinking as he did it that there would be a scent in the room, at all everxts. Hoped the next comer would like tobacco I And having thus done his best to secure him the luxury, and exhausted his pipe in a lurther consideration of the fertile subject of scent, our friend at length undressed and turned into bed, at twenty minutes to twelve. 202 MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. CHAPTER XXXIV. THE HUNT BREAKFAST. R. ROM- FORD awoke at daybreak next morn- ing with a parched mouth and a some^ Avhat winey headache ; not at all himself, in fact. The late dinner and multi- plicity of dishes had disagreed with a gentleman accus- tomed to early hours and simple fare. He had never tried such a mixture before ; "meat, pudding and cheese" (all the delicacies of the season, as the sailor said), being the utmost extent of his wants. But that he had been gradually inducted into magnificence through the instrumentality of Beldon Hall, he would now scarcely have known himself, stretched in a great canopy-topped state bed in a noble room, with brilliant chimney-glass, splendid cheval one, tapestry carpet, and every imaginable luxury. What did a man want with so many baths, who always took a header when he was heated ! Of course the capital Louis Quinze clock on the marble mantel- piece did not go, so Facey appealed to his own great silver watch under the pillow to know what o'clock it was, and finding it A WINKY HEADACHE. MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, 203 wanted several hours to breakfast, he did not see any reason v^'hj, because the bed was a fine one, he should lie in it longer than he liked : so he bounded out, and making for a windoNv, proceeded to reconnoitre the landscape. *' Aye," said he to himself, after an identifying stare, "that is AYavertree in the distance, the village with the spire is Dronefield, and the white house beyond will be Mr. BuUinger's, of Preston- worth." So he settled the matter satisfactorily in his own mind, and then moved the previous question, — namely, that he should dress. But where Avere his clothes ? They had taken them away to brush, or perhaps mop up the beer-slops with in the servants' hall, and then fold and return, and there was nothing for him but the choice l)etween his hunting things and dress ones. Xeither of those would do, so he must try to recover the Tweeds. But they had put the bell where nobody could find it ; and Facey had to cast al)Out as he would for the scent of a fox. When he did find it, nobody would answer it ; for the girl in charge of the numbers merely announced " Number one bell " in the hall, and every servant who heard her concluded that the occupant of such a magnificent apartment — the best room — would be sure to have a valet to answer it, and thought no more of the matter. And when Facey, having taken another rather fretful survey of the landscape, returned again to the charge, an exclamation of " Number one bell I " was all that the ring produced ; and so on for a third. *' Rot the fellow I " exclaimed Facey, swinging round with vexation ; and after taking a turn about the spacious apartment, he at length settled before his hunting clothes. " S'pose I must put them on," said he, taking up the Bedford cords, and proceed- ing to jump into his other clothes in the promiscuous sort of way of a man going to bathe. He then opened his door, and emerged from his room in search of adventures. The landings and stair- case were only half awake ; and when he got downstairs he found everything in the uncomfortable state familiar only to early, too early, risers. One housemaid on her knees pipeclaying the passage, another raising a cloud of dust with her broom ; rugs, mats, pails, dusters, all higgledy-piggledy — everything in the height of con- fusion. The fine overnight footmen were hurrying about in caps and all sorts of queer clothes, bearing trays full of plate, linen, and china, — the ingredients of another great spread. Worming his way cautiously among the obstacles, Facey at length reached the front door, and emancipating himself from the house, was presently in the fresh air. Very fresh and pleasant it was, and most grateful it felt to his fevered frame. " Oh, Francis Romford, my beloved friend," said he, " you had 204 MB. FACET BOMFOKD'S HOUNDS, too much wine last night. Oh, Francis Romford, this dinin' out doesn't suit you. Oh^ Francis Romford, it's a great hixury to have just what you want to eat and drink, and no more. Oh, Francis Romford, it's bad to hunt with a sore head. Huntin' and drinkin' arc two men's work." Then he thought a pipe would do him good ; and a pipe he accordingly proceeded to take, sauntering along the fine Kensing- ton gravelled drive as he made the necessary preparation for a smoke. This brought him within sight of the stables, — a well- built, rough-cast range, with coach-houses in the centre. " Humph I not bad-like quarters," said Facey, eyeing them. ^' Have seen good horses come out of much worse stables than those." And thereupon he determined to inspect them. Making for the range on the right, he found himself among the greys in the coachman's stable, with the great Mr. Spanker saunterin": about, superintending the stablemen in the " you-do-your-work " sort of air of a man who does nothing himself. Pugs, cobs, and coachmen were things Mr. Romford eschewed. Pugs he looked upon as eyesores ; cobs he never knew the use of; and coachmen, he thought, were men who would b3 grooms, only they were too lazy. A very slight inspection of the greys, therefore, satisfied him ; and returning Mr. Spanker's salute with an air of in- difference, he turned on his heel, and sought the other side of the stable. Spanker, however, recognised him, and said to his helper, *' That is the varry gent as came up through the grating artcr the rats when we was at Beldon 'All." When, however, Facey got into the hunting stable, he found himself at home ; and Gullpicker, the presiding genius (a Melton man, whom nobody would have at Melton), seemed impressed with the importance of his visitor. He raised his cap most deferentially, and Facey having returned a nod, and a voluminous puff of smoke, then proceeded to criticise the horses. There were four well-shaped, well-conditioned bays, well-clothed, well-littered, well done by in every respect except well-ridden. In this latter indulgence they were sadly deficient ; indeed the two that the man who hunted for conformity was going to ride that day, had been out, getting the fiery edge taken off them with a gallop on the green. Tiiere were now a couple of straps at work upon either side of them, each hissing and thumping as if they would stave in the horses' ribs. AVilly was all for having every- thing as it should be, and Gullpicker was the man to accommodate him. It took two men to strap a horse properly, Gull said, so two to a horse Gull had. It is strange how some fellows get places by merely trading on a name. If Gullpicker had come from Manchester, Musselburgh, or any other place beginning with ME. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 205 an *' M," Willy would never have thou.o'ht of him ; but cominp^ from Melton, he concluded he must be all right, and so gave him eighty pounds a-year and his house. A livery-stable keeper would have given him twelve shillings a-week, and would most likely have turned him off at the end of the first one. Eomford now stuck out his great legs, and proceeded to question the worthy, and very soon wormed out the secret of the stable, — which was a hard 'oss, which was a soft 'un, which was a show 'un. The show 'un was master's special fayorife, the man said, whom he described as a very shy rider ; indeed, the groom thought if it wasn't for the sake of wearing the red coat, Mr. "Watkins would never go out hunting at all. And Facey said, that was the case with a good many men he knew, adding, that it would be a good thing not to let any man ride in scarlet until he had ridden three years in black. The servants' breakfast bell now rang a noisy peal, for the "Watkinses considered it incumbent upon them to let all the neighbourhood know when there was any eating going on ; and Facey having mastered his subject, jerked his head at the groom, who renewed his deferential salute as our master rolled out of the stable. A master of hounds is aiways a hero in a groom's eyes. When he returned to the house, it had got into more comfort- able order. The scrapers and door mats were restored to their proper places, the mops and pails had disappeared, and a partially revised footman was brushing and arranging the hats in the hall. To him Facey communicated his lavatorial wants, and was forth- Avith reconducted upstairs and introduced to the dressing-room of his apartment, where he found such an array of baths, foot, hip, shower, as to a man who always took a header seemed quite incomprehensible. Discarding all these, he requested the footman to get him some hot water, wherewith and by the aid of a razor and soap, he proceeded to divest himself of the superfluous portion of his cane-coloured beard, and then treated his pretty face to a wash in the fine mazarine blue and white china basin, thinking all the while Avhat old Gilroy would say if he saw him. Very queer his old fourpenny shaving brush, and twopenny soap-box, — to say nothing of his horn comb and shabby hair- brush, — looked on the fine lace-pattern toilet-cover, lined with blue silk, and edged with Honiton lace. Very different was the toilet glass, Avith its carved frame and spiral supporters, compared to the few square inches of thing in which he used to contemplate his too fascinating face at the " Dog and Partridge," or the " AVest-end Swell." And Facey wandered backwards and for- wards between the bed and dressing-room, surveying his iiTC- 206 ME. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. sistible person first in one mirror and then another, thinking what a kilUng-looking cock he was. The noisy gong presently interrupted the inspection, and look- ing at his watch he found it only wanted twenty minutes to ten, and at half -past the hounds would be due before the door. Tear- ing himself away then from the mirror, he opened the door and proceeded downstairs, encountering his lisping friend full in the face at the junction of the flights. " Good morning, Mither Romford," said she, extending her pretty white hand as she spoke. " Good mornin', Miss," replied Facey, taking and squeezing it, adding, " I declare you look quite bewitchin' in this fine new thingmnbob," taking hold of it as he spoke. Miss smiled, and showed her pretty pearly teeth, fresh from the application of the dentifrice ; and while Facey was busy staring and turning a compliment, Mrs. Dust's unlucky maid opened the green-baized door communicating with the back stairs, and spoilt the production. Miss then gave a whisk of her crinoline, and the two concluded the descent oif the staircase together. On entering the dining-room, they found the heads of the house busily engaged superintending the final arrangements of the table, — marshalling the plate, adjusting the flower vases, pointing out the position for the egg stands, and the places for the toast, the twists, the tea cakes — the light artillery generally. " Good morning, my dear Mr, Romford," exclaimed Mrs. "Watkins, advancing gaily and tendering her hand to our master, quite pleased to see him and her smiling daughter arriving so amicably together. " Good morning, Romford : how are you ? " exclaimed Willy, now seizing Facey 's hand in the hail-fellow-well-met of a brother fox-hunter ; adding *' here's a fine day — hope there'll be a good scent." '• Oh, yes, and a good fox, too," rejoined Mrs. Watkins. " Hope so," said Facey ; adding " I'll give a good account of him if there is." " Do," exclaimed Willy ; " in ' Bell's Life ' and the ' Field.' " "Hut ! you and * Bell's Life,' " growled Facey in disgust. The large richly-chased silver Queen's-patterned teakettle now came hissing into the room, with its coiresponding teapot, sugar- basin, and cream ewers, and simultaneously an antique melon- pattern coff'eepot, with similar accompaniments, alighted at the low end of the table. Honey, jellies, jams, then took up positions at regular intervals in support of the silver cow-mounted butter- boats, and next long lines of cakes, muifins, buns, rolls, toasts, filled up the interstices. MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 207 A Westphalia ham, a Melton pie, and a ]:dU de foie grafi mounted the plate-garnished sideboard, just as Mrs. Somerville came sailing iu, and the first ring was heard at the front door bell. Mrs. Watkins, having greeted Mrs. Somerville warmly, hoping she had slept well and not been disturbed by the wind, then backed her into her overnight seat by her husband, and, sailing up the room, installed herself in her own chair, with Facey on her right again and Cassandra next to him, just as Burlinson brought up the first comers, in the persons of young Brogdale, Mr. Tuckwell, and Mr. Horsington, who, after smirking and smiling, subsided into seats and began eating as if they had not tasted food for a week. Some people never miss a show meet. Ring — ring — ring — ring ; ring — ring — ring — ring — ring ; ring ■ — ring — ringer ing— ring — ring then went the bell, each par- ticular man seeming to think it necessary to ring for himself, though the door was yet open for his predecessor. Then whips of all sorts clustered together, and pyramids of h.ats and caps rose in the passage ; and the cry was still " They come — they come ! " Gayslap, and Rumball, and Butherton, and Brown, and West, and young Felt, and old Muggleswick, and we don't know who else besides. Great was the variety of hunting costume, great the run on the cups and saucers to supply the behests of the wearers. " Cream, if you please." " Have you got any sugar ? " " May I trouble you for the salt ? " Then arose a surge of mastication that was quite opposed to the idea of the parties having breakfasted before. It was very much a repetition of the Pippin Priory performance, only the appointments were finer and grander. ]\[rs. Watkins had no idea of being outdone : only let her know what the Larges had, and she would soon get something better. If they had had a boar's head, Mrs. Watkins would have had a bull's or a buffalo's. Facey, though not quite happy, was yet far more comfortable than he had been overnight, or when he run the gauntlet of inquisitive eyes as he made his way up the breakfast-room at Pippin Priory. Here he sat somewhat like a gentleman taking his ease in a penny chair in Hyde Park, having the population paraded before him, and if the servants would only have let him alone, he would have done pretty well ; but either the butler persecuted him with buns, or the footman teased him with toast, or Miss lisped something that he couldn't understand, and was obliged to ask her to say over again, so that the act of deglutition proceeded slowly and irregularly. He was accustomed to swallow his breakfast like a foxhound. All he wanted was to get it down, and then pocket a crust for luture want, and be off. Meanwhile more gentlemen came stamping and clanking in from 208 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. all quarters, in red coats, and green coats, and black coats ; in white boots, and brown boots, and black boots, all apparently ravenous and settling to the viands as soon as, having bobbed to the ladies, they could get seated at the table. Some stuck to the sideboard, trying the noyeau, the creme dp Vanille, the parfaif amour, the cherry brandy, and so on. The Watkinses didn't give champagne, they were told it wasn't fashionable. Sip, sup, slop, clatter, patter, clatter, patter, was the order of the day. More tea, more toast, more coffee, eggs, muffins, and butter. Many people will give away any amount in victuals, from whom yon could not get a penny in cash if it was ever so. At length there was a lull ; some stuck out their legs, others began exploring their mouths with their toothpicks, some again arose and began looking about the room at the various family pictures, Mrs. Watkins in a green satin dress. Miss in a yellow silk one, Willy in a hunt coat, Willy in a dress coat, Willy in a shooting coat. Then there was a move to the window. The hounds had just come, attended by the 'usual cavalcade, and Facey rushed to see what sort of equilibrium the servants presented. All seemed right. There was Daniel — the Eight Honourable the Hurl of Scamper- dale's Daniel — sitting erect on that uncomfortable-actioned horse Oliver Twist ; there was Chowey — insinuating C ho wey— relaxing and contracting his extraordinary proboscis as if he was going to kiss all creation ; and there was the strong persevering man who cleaned horses, I'iding that noble long-tailed brown horse Bounding Ben, whose only fault was that he could not be relied upon for bounding. Altogether a most respectable looking party, and greatly indebted to Tick. Then as Miss Avas lisping her admira- tion of the establishment to Mr. Komford, the hum of conversation was interrupted by her mamma rushing wildly up the room exclaiming,^ "Oh, Mr. Romford ! oh, Mr. Watkins ! oh, Mr. Romford ! I am so shocked — I am so distressed — I hardly know what to do. I wrote to that tiresome Mr. Castangs to send us a fox — a Quornite, if he could^and there's none come ! —and there's none come ! Was there ever anything so provoking ! — Avas there ever anything so provoking ! Oh, what shall we do, Mr. Watkins ? — what shaU we do, Mr. Romford ? " continued Mrs. Watkins, appealing imploringly first to one and then to the other. Willy, of course, didn't know what to do, and Facey was too disgusted to answer the question ; in addition to which, a giggle of laughter ran through the room, showing the position was appreciated. So, looking at his watch, and seeing it was a few minutes past time, he gladly tendered his adieux, hurrying out of MR. FACEY MOMFORD'S HOUNDS-. '-OD the room, cxclaimino^ to Mrs. Somcrville as he got to the door, '• I vsay, Lucy, mind, pork chops and smashed potatoes for dinner ac five ! " He then swung gaily into the hall, got his hat, and made straight for his horse in the crowd. The Itight Honourable the Hurl of Scamperdale's Daniel then saluted him with an aerial sweep of his cap, and Chowey, relaxing his prol)Oscis, followed suit. Mr. Castangs having disappointed our friends, there was no occasion for Mr. Romford to indulge in the usual make-believe draw round Dalberry Lees : so, getting on Pilot, he trotted quietly over Amberwicke Meadows, and, running the hounds through Walton Wood, passed on to Westdale Park. But though the portly owner, Mr. Banknewton, was an ardent supporter of the hunt, and always made a show of insisting upon his keeper having foxes ; yet, not having notice, and of course relying upon Mrs. Watkins supplying the wants of the day, his fox was not ready any more than the other. So Mr. Romford passed on from hall to house, and from hill to vale, until he got entirely out of his stop ; without, however, having exactly a blank day, for Chowey whipped a very fine fox off a hedge-row on Mr. Mitford's farm at Ripple Mill, which immediately went to ground in a Avell-accustomed breeding earth behind the house. It is, however, but justice to Mr. Castangs to state that he had not been indifferent to his good patron Mrs. Watkins's interests ; for, when Independent Jimmy came with the melon frame to take Mrs. Somerville back to Beldon Hall, the fox was seen sitting in his airy trellis-work box beside Jimmy on the driving seat. It had been carried past by the thoughtless guard of the 9 a.m. railway train. Better, however, that he should carry the fox past than the pea-soup. Mrs. Watkins, however, determining not to profit by the occurrence, begged Mrs. Somerville to take the fox back with her to Beldon Hall ; which our fair friend consenting to do, and all things being at length ready, after a good deal of kissing and hugging, the ladies got parted ; and Lucy and Dirty, being duly ensconced in their vehicle, drove away, leaving the late lively Dalberry Lees to relapse into its accustomed quiet. J)irty, we may add, had made rather a somewhat profitable visit of it, having picked a pearl and ruby ring off Mr. AYatkins's dressing- table, a gold thimble out of Miss Watkins's work-box, and extracted seven-and-sixpence from a drawer in the housekeeper's room, which none but herself would ever have suspected of holding a halfpenny. 210 MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. CHAPTER XXXV. THE BAG FOX. When Mr. Facey Romford returned to Beldon Hall after liis visit to Dalberry Lccs, he found what ought to have converted the nearly blank day there into a splendid triumph ; namely, the unfortunate bag fox, now located in his own entrance hall. Facey got a whiff of what Mr. Watkins would call his " aroma," almost as soon as he opened the front door ; but never dreaming of sucii a thing as a fox being in the house, he just chucked his hat and whip at random in the dusk on to the accustomed table near the screen behind which he kept his rake, and was making onwards, thinking of his pork chops and smashed potatoes, when a scratch- ing noise arrested his attention on the other side of the spacious entrance. Facey stopped, and in the evening gloom the apparition of a new trellis-work cage stood in bold relief against the carved back of an old oak chair. " Do believe it's a fox," muttered Romford. " Can be nothing but a fox," added he, making up to it, and looking in, as the unmistakeable scent greeted his nose. " It is a fox !" exclaimed he, wondering how it came there. He then called for a candle. Dirtiest of the Dirty presently came tripping along, with a thick- wicked tallow, in a block-tin candlestick, in her hand ; and Romford, flourishing it over the cage, caught sight of the parch- ment label, and read, — " WILLIAM WATXIXS, IZsq., " Dalberry Lees, " By rail, io le left at the Firfield Station. Keep this side ?//;." *' Oh, the deuce ! " muttered he. " Why, tliis is the gentleman that ought to have come in the morning." Then a further inspection of the address revealed his own name — " FRA NCIS R OMFORD, Esq. , " Beldo/i Hall. " With Mrs. Watkins's Jrind reyards,'' in the most elegant hand, added at the bottom. " Humph ! " muttered he, " this is a pretty present for a master of hounds to receive. S'pose they'll be sendin' me a colley dog or ME. FACET BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 211 a pipiii' bullfinch next. May mean it for kindness ; s'pose they do," continued he, thinkin^: of the white shoulders ; ** but in reality it's anythinpf else. Xever hunted a bag fox in my hfe," said he, scratching liis head. " Should be 'shamed to hunt a bag fox. What would life be without foxes ? " continued Facey, now lowering the candle, and looking into the cage to examine his present more minutely. Reynard, half timid, half savage, made for a coruer, disclosing, however, enough of his proportions to let Facey see he was a fine one, — rather light-coloured along the back, with a full brush and a grizzleyish head. " Wonder what sort of a mouth he's got ? " continued Facey, making for the table, whereon lay his hunting whip, and returning to stir the fox up with it. " Snap I " He seized the stick with an energy that made Facey thankful it wasn't his thumb, disclosing, as he snapped, a set of slightly failing but still very serviceable-looking teeth. " Good fox, very,"' said Facey, wondering where he came from. " Highlands, of "^course," added he, shrugging up his high shoulders, well knowing he did nothing of the sort. "Well," mused he, " this is the way to bring fox hunting to an end. Steal each other's foxes, and then we shall have nothin' to hunt. Bad work, very," muttered he, " when it comes to this." And if it hadn't been for the fair daughter, Facey would have abased Watkins right well. As it was,"he let off his steam by abusing tlie sham-fox system generally, declaring he would rather hunt with a pack of rabbi t-beagles on foot, than condescend to such work. " A rat in a barn, with a terrier, is worth two of it," said he. And he was half inclined to open the box and liberate the fox at the door ; and nothing but the fear of his being ignominiously nipped up by some passing cur prevented his doing so. Facey, therefore, adjourned the consideration of the question what to do with him until after the discussion of the sumptuous fare he had ordered in the morning. So lie now proceeded to his bed-room to divest himself of his hunting attire, and assume the easier clothes of the evening. Then, old Dirty having the repast ready at the appointed time. Dirtiest of the Dirty resumed her waiting avoca- tion ; while, between chops and cheese, Lucy enlightened ^Ir. Romford as to the misfortunes of the bag fox, and Mrs. AYatkins's anxiety for the notification of the disappointment. Lucy had told Mrs. Watkins that she did not think her brother would have anything to do with a bagman ; but Mrs. Watkins was positive the other way, asserting that a fox was a fox ; adding, that surely it was much better to have one in a box ready for use, than to be at the trouble of searching and prowling about in a wood, without, perhaps, finding one after all. p 2 212 ME. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS '' Oh, do take him," pressed Mrs. Watkins ; " Mr. Watkins will be so disappointed if you don't ; and I'm sure we have no use for him here," added she. 80 Mrs. Somerville reluctantly consented, and Independent Jimmy had the pleasure of the fox's company as lie drove back to lieldon Hall. There the reader has already seen him ; and the question now is, what to do with him ; for though the whiff of ,a fox is very pleasant and exhilarating in the open air — especially in the hunting season — yet we do not know that it is quite so agreeable in the house. 80, too, thought friend Facey ; and the point now Mas, how to get rid of him without offending Mrs. AYatkins. At last he thought he had it. " I say, old gal, let you and oi get up early in the morn in' and give that bagman a dustin' with a few couple of hounds," said Eacey to Lucy between the puffs of his after-dinner pipe. •' Well," said Lucy, ''I'm quite agreeable." *' It's a non-hunting day," continued Mr. Romford, "and it will keep the horses' backs down and the men quiet by letting them see we can do without them. " You ride Leotard," said he, "and I'll have that invincible Baker, and see if a gag will prevent his pulling my arms out of their sockets, as he generally does." Lucy was quite agreeable to that also, ^Ir. Romford then sunk into the roomy recesses of his Avell-stuffed easy chair, and luxuriated in his pipe as he passed his fine gratis pack of hounds in review before him. He was a man of decision, and quickly made up his mind what to take and Avhat to leave at home. Ten couple was just what he would take, and ten couple he had to the fore in no time. 80, having finished his pipe, he arose from his chair, and, chucking a log of wood on to the fire to last till he came back, he got a candle and went and had another stare at tho fox. Here he was presently joined by old Dirty, Mrs. Mustard herself^ who, in reply to his inquiries where he could get a mouse or a few beetles, replied that she had a couple of mice in the trap just then, and, as to beetles, why her back kitchen fairly swarmed with them ; so sending her away for the mice and a handful of beetles, as also for a saucer of clean water, Mr. Romford presently made his poor prisoner as comfortable as a fox could be made under the circumstances, and left him to enjoy himself as best he could. He then proceeded to the stables, where he found Swig and Chowey in the saddle-room deeply engaged in a game of dominoes, Chowey having rather the best of it up to the time of Mr. Romford's coming. Here, too, was Short, the stud-groom as he was now called, having some coatlcss, characterless helpers. MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 213 under him. ^Ir. Romford, haviiig first ordered Leotard for Mrs. Somerville, and the Baker for his owu riding out of the briUiant galaxy of stubbornness and vice with which his stable Avas supphed, and Chowey, having put the finishing stroke to the game, Mr. Swig was at liberty to talk to our master, who forthwitb ran him through a list of ten couple of hounds that he wanted in the morning so rapidly that if Swig had not had his two intelligent friends in the saddle-room to assist him, he would infallibly have made some mistake. *' Eight to a minute ! " then cried Mr. Romford, giving a general order for all — "eight to a minute ! " repeated he, rolling out of the room, leaving his audience very much surprised at his proceedings. But Lucy and he were always dropping in upon them at unqualified hours. " What's up now ! " ejaculated Short, who had calculated upon having to act figure footman on the morrow. '* Must be going to have a hunt by themselves," suggested Swig. " The same as they had with the Heavysides," observed Chowey, pursing up his peculiar mouth as he recollected Swig's and his own misfortune in the gig — or, rather, out of the gig. " Shouldn't wonder," assented the strong persevering man. "Gallant little 'oman to ride," observed Swig ; adding, "I do like to see her go." " He's a rum'un," muttered Chowey. ''Of all the rum'uns I ever lived with, he's the runmiiest." So they proceeded to discuss the merits and peculiarities of our worthy master, without disparagement, however, to his sporting [jrowess, which indeed nobody could deny. Meanwhile Mr. Romford, little caring what they either thought or said, hurried off by the light of the moon to the great Mr. Proudlock's, to whom, having presented a bottle of Lord Lovetin's best Jamaica rum that he had wrapped up in an old " Bell's Life" newspaper in his. baggy coat pocket, he propounded his intentions for the morrow\ Mr. Proudlock, thus properly propitiated, w^ould be most happy to do anything in his power to serve ^Ir. Romford, and, after discussing various localities, the HoUy Meadows, Eddys Row, Limecoats Green, Shortleet Moor, High Thorn Wood, and other places, it was at length decided that Mr. Proudlock should start away betimes and enlarge the fox in High Thorn Wood, on the east or Hard and Sharp side of the country, where they would be less likely to disturb any of the tenacious game preservers' covers on any of the country that Mr. Romford would be likely soon to draw himself. And Mr. Romford, having thus made all preparations fcr the 2U MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. coming day, left Mr. Proiicllock to discuss his rum, while he returned to his comfortable quarters at the Hall, thinking how much snugger it was to roll about in Tweeds and be waited upon by a Dirty than to have to undergo the penance and persecution of a party — the persecution of wine, the persecution of fish, the persecution of food in general, the persecution of footmen, the persecution of finery. Oh, those horrid hoops ! \Yhat wouldn't he give to destroy them— smash them irrevocably ! CHAPTER XXXVI. THE BAG FOX ENLARGED. Mr. Ro3IFORD awoke quite cool and comfortable the next morning. All traces of wincing squeamishness were gone, and he was the real original Dog and Partridge Romford, ready for hunting, ready for shooting, ready for riding, ready for anything. " Humph ! what's to-day ? " exclaimed he, starting up in bed, as he awoke — " what's to-day ? " fearing lest he might have over- slept himself and be late to cover. " Ah," continued he, recollect- ing himself, " it's not a hunting-day — it's a bye with the bagman. Well, needs must when a certain old gentleman drives," continued he. So saying he bounded out of bed with a thump that Avould have shook a modern-built house to the centre. He then proceeded to take his accustomed stare out of the window. It was a fine morning, still and quiet, with a slight white rind on the ground that the now rising sun would quickly dispel. "Pity but it was a reg'lar huntin'-day," muttered he, surveying the scene ; *' think oi could give a good wild beggar a dustin'." He then proceeded to dress himself. As he descended the grand staircase, and cut off the corner of the hall on his way to the breakfast-room, he got a whiff of his overnight friend, though Dirtiest of the Dirty, whom he met dribbling along with the kettle, assured him that Mr. Proudlock had taken him away a full hour before. The fact was, the old Jamaica rum had been too potent for friend Proudlock, who, having gone to bed tipsy, had only just come for the fox, and, fearing he was late, told Dirtiest of the Dirty to say what she did ; which of course she had no hesitation in doing, lying coming quite as naturally as stealing to that elegant young- lady. Mrs. Somerville was downstairs already, but not in her sporting costume, it being one of her rules, when alone, always to put on MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 215 her smart things after breakfast, considering that they ran more risk of damage at that meal than during all the rest of the day put together. And though she was not now finding her own clothes, or at least could have what she liked from London for bending for, and Betsy Shannon would only have been too glad of a cast-off, still, an early-acquired habit of neatness prevented her wasting the advantages afforded even by being on the free- list. So she was prudent even in her extravagance. Lucy was only a light breakfast eater, Facey a heavy one — a little dry toast, a cup of tea, and an egg sufficing for her, while our master indulged in oatmeal-porridge, pork-chops, rabbit-pies, cold game — ■ the general produce of his gun, in fact. So Lucy, having soon satisfied her appetite, withdrew with mamma, leaving our master of hounds to satisfy his appetite while she was adorning herself. At length he, too, was done, and pocketing a hunch of brown bread, he rang the bell, and told Dirtiest of the Dirty, who answered it, to send old Dirty to sec about dinner. " Xow then, old gal," said he, as Mrs. ^lustard appeared, smoothing her dirty apron as usual, " we shall be at home in good time I s'pect — say two, at latest ; so do us those woodcocks, and make ns a good apple-pie, or an apple-puddin', if you like it better." '' How many woodcocks would you please to have, sir ? " asked Mrs. Mustard. "Oh, do them all," replied Mr. Eomford, "do them all — only three — no use makin' two bites of a cherry. Here ! " continued he, " mind, make a good big pie — as big as a foot-bath — not one of your little tartlet-like things that only aggravate the appetite, and do it no good. Besides, 1 like cold apple-apple," added he, now turning round to light his old briar-root pipe, which he had been arranging as he spoke at the fire. Ere he had resumed his erect position and emitted the inaugural puff", Mrs. Somerville re- entered attired for the chase. She was beautifully-dressed, lor, though she knew there was no meet, yet it was impossible to say who she might see ; added to Avhich it was so much pleasar.tcr and more comfortable being smart and fit to meet anybody, instead of having to shirk and avoid people in consequence of being shabby. So she had on a smart new hat, with an exquisitely cut eight guinea habit braided in front, and beautifully made chamois- leather trousers with black-cloth feet. Altogether as neat as neat could be. Nor did she mar the general effect, as some ladies do, by wear- ing soiled or shabby gloves. On the contrary, she had on a pair of smart new primrose-coloured kids that fitted with the utmost 216 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. exactitude. She liad «-ot a beautiful ft-old mounted whip down from London, with a light-blue silk tasselled cord through its ruby-eyed fox-head handle. Mr. Romford, however, did not reciprocate his ;?s<'?^<^()-sister's Fumrtness, but turned out in a very rough poacher-like garb, viz., a slouching brown wideawake, a dirty ditto suit of heather- coloured Tweed, with the trod out trousers thrust into the original old rustydooking lack-lustre Napoleons. But Mr. Romford could ride in anything, and, moreover, thought if the fox wouldn't run, he would come home with the hounds and go out with his gun after the wild ducks or snipes on Mabbleford Mere. He liked to be doing. So now let us assist him in his laudable design of activity. Punctual to a minute — for those wdio want to have punctual servants must be punctual themselves— Mr. Romford and Mrs. Somerville appeared at the front-door of Beldon Hall, and there were the hounds and horses occupying the gravelled ring before the house. The array was not very imposing, but a deal of execu- tion lurked under that quiet exterior. Mr. Romford did not sub- scribe to the doctrine that a "hound was a hound," on the contrary, he knew there was as much difl'erence among dogs as there was among men, and he made it a rule to have value re- ceived for his oatmeal. And tliough he had not taken his best, yet he had drawn his ten couple with such ability that, thanks to the excellence of their blood, they were as formidable as many peoples' twenty couple. "Now then*^! " cried Facey, as he opened the hall-door, "bring up your missis's horse first," calling to Short, now in charge of the prank-playing Leotard. " Better no"t call me missus," whispered Lucy, adding, "it might make them talk." "Mrs. Somervillo's horse I " then exclaimed Facey, in a louder tone, as if to obhterate the first order, and in an instant Leotard was alongside the door-step. Lucy then placing her right hand on the crutch presented her pretty Httle foot to our friend, who lifted lier up with airy buoyancy into her saddle. A shake of the smart liabit, and she had herself adjusted in a moment. Romford then vaulted gaily into his own on the back of the all-powerful Baker. Having got him short by the gag, he gave him a kick in the ribs with his spurless heel, that as good as said, "now then, old boy, let's see whether you or oi will be master." " Cop, come away !— Cop, come away ! " — he added, to the hounds, without noticing the Baker's semi -kick in return. Away they swept from the door and trotted along with the pride of the morning. IVoudlock, the keeper, had trotted off on Tom Hooper, the MR. FACJEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 217 blacksmith's pony, some half-hour before, to enlarge the fox in the retired recesses of High Thorn Wood, but it so happened that there were two parallel ravines, viz., High Thorn Wood and North Spring W'ood, so exactly alike that Mr. Komford mistook them, and ran his hounds up the first one he came to, where Ibx there was none, instead of following the Kingsfield-road, half-a-milc further on, and turning up the clear pebbly brook on the lefc. The consequence was, that, though he gave his hounds plenty of time, he never got a touch of a ibx ; a fact thac puzzled our friend consideral)ly, seeing, as Beckford says, that a bag-fox must needs smell extravagantly — especially a bag-fox that had been up to Leadenhall Market, and down again, all round about the country. Nevertheless, it was so, and Facey got to the rising ground at the top of the ravine without a challenge — nay, without even a whisper, save from Prosperous making a dash at a rabbit. Ho then reconnoitered the country. '' Wrong shop ! " at last said he, as, casting his eye to the south, he saw the duplicate wood buunding the horizon — " wrong shop ! " repeated he, turning his horse short round, giving a slight twang of his horn, and telling Lucy to put the hounds on after him. So friend Facey trotted briskly along the wood-side he had just come up, followed by such of the hounds as saw him turn, while Lucy essayed to bring the rest on after him. Pie then retraced his steps as quickly as he could, and regaining the Kingsfield-road went pounding along in search of his servant. There, on a white road- side gate, holding his pony, sat the all-important Proudlock, wondering what had happened to Mr. Romford. •' Wish you mayn't ha' given him o'er much law," now observed he, as Romford came trotting up. " What, he's fresh, is he ? " asked our master. " Fresh as a four-year-old — went oft* like a shot," replied Proudlock. " So much the Ijetter," rejoined Romford. " Don't care if he beats us ; " adding to himself, " no credit in kiilin' a bag-fox — rather a disgrace, oi should say." Mrs. Somerville then came cantering up, with the remaining hounds frolicking about her horse, and Mr. Romford having now- got his short pack reunited, Proudlock opened the gate into the wood, and in they all went together. " Half way up the ride I struck him," said Proudlock, "and he went briskly away as iar as ever 1 could see." " All right," said Romford, trotting on briskly. And sure enough, just where a large wind-blown beech formed a comfortable resting-place for our Iriend after his exertions in MIt. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. gf^tes in the distance, with the majority of the field cramminf^; away on his right. Up and down, up and down they went, — now a coat, now a cap, now Mrs. Somervi lie's hat and habit. The hounds were a long way ahead, pressing up the gently rising ground of Cowslip Grange, then through the fir plantations of Fawley, without dwelling a moment, and onwards, still pointing due north up the sloping side of BuUersgreen, and over the brook at Ravensdowne stone-pits. Here a most acceptable check ensued, for Everlasting had been gently intimating to Romford that the rising ground did not agree with him, and Facey did not wish the information to go any further. So he turned his horse's head to the air, and sat motionless, thankful that Jawkins had to make the cast and not him. Everlasting had taken his fences very well, and being a iiorse of enormous stride had kept Romford in a be- coming place. Leotard, too, had gone well, and had left old Ten- and-a-half-per-Cent. immeasurably in the lurch. The roadsters, and shirkers, and craners now seeing a pause, pushed on in hopes of getting another chance of being again left behind. , _ Jawkins, nothing daunted by having the eyes of England upon him, now lays hold of his hounds, and, assisted by Peter Simple, proceeds to make a cast that he thinks will greatly edify Mr. Romford — give him something to talk about when he gets back into Doubleimupshire. And as fortune sometimes favours even the foolish, and there is no very impeding fence in the way to make Jawkins think the fox has taken an easier line, he presently hits him off at a cattle gap, and away the hounds go with a screech. " Beautiful ! beautiful ! " ejaculates Hazey, adding, " I hope Mr. Romford saw that." Then they all fell into place, Hazey leading (so long as there is no leaping), Facey and Lucy a little to his right, with the boy Bill on the eighty-guinea grey behind them. Bill has handled the horse so neatly and well, that Heslop is half inclined to bid sixty for him.. And now they are all at it as before, jumping and spurting and shirking ; red coats and green coats and black coats; white boots, hot boots, brown boots, and black boots. The line is more favourable to the grand horse Everlasting, being slightly on the slope, and Facey puts him along Avithout fear of a failure. It was only up the steep that he showed his infirmity, and degenerated into a shut-up. But Facey did not keep horses to look at ; and if they could not go with the hounds, they could go back to the place from whence they came. So he just stuck his spurs into ^everlasting, as he called the horse, and sent him along in the independent sort of way of a huntsman who is not hunting the Jiounds— acting the gentleman, as poor Sir Richard Sutton used to say on those occasions. Meanwhile Jawkins, who is greatly MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, 267 pleased with his own performances, cheers and hurries on his hounds, hopin": the lady will tip him a sovereign if he gets her the brush. " Dash it ! what a grand thing it would be if slio gave him a sovereign," thought he, holloaing the hounds on. He would buy Mrs. J. a twelve-and-ninepenny bonnet that should quite cut out Mrs. Silkey's. For-mrd on ! for-rard on ! hounds,'' cries he to the racing pack. " What business had Mrs. Silkey to give herself the hairs she did ? A huntsman's wife was far afore a grum's in point o' greatness. Hark to Columbine ! hark ! ihat's the wcnjon 'im!'' shouted he, as Mercury now pushed to the front. "A grum was a mere under-strapper to a huntsman, — had to bring him his 'oss, raid take away his 'oss, and clean him his 'oss, and clip him his 'oss, if he required to have him clipped. Silkey be singed ! Mrs. S. too — Hupstart 'ussy I " And now, what with pressing and cheering, and thinking of the bonnet, aided by stain of a Hock of sheep on a piece of very water-logged land, Jawkins managed to get his hounds right beyond the scent, and the flush of the former successful cast onwards being still full upon him, he holds them on till they are quite clear o±* the line. The fox has turned short to the left to avoid a conference with the driver of a coming coal-cart. " On, on, on ! " however, cheered Jawkins, waving them forward with his arm, still thinking of the bonnet, the hairs, and the con- sequence. '• Who thedeuce was a grum's wife ? " muttered he. " Hold hard ! " now cries Mr. Hazey, holding up his hand, seeing the fast-expiring energies of the pack. " Hold hard ! " repeats he, fearing for the finish. " 'Old hard ! " shouts Bill, who has been nursing the grey along very judicially. And hold hard it is generally. Meanwhile Mr. Eomford, who is very long-sighted, has viewed the fox stealing quietly along among the straggling gorse bushes on the rising ground some distance to the left ; but it being no part of his duty to assist the operations of a rival pack, nor yet to test the enduring qualities of the grand horse Everlasting, ho keeps his own counsel, and lets Jawkins persist in his mistaken cast forward, which ends, as Facey foresaw, in hopeless and unbroken silence. Jawkins then gives them a wide swing to the right, and ultimately by a back cast crosses the line of the fox at the base of the hill along which Mr. Facey had viewed him. Then great was the applause of the admiring field at the skill of the huntsman, and the stanchness of the pack. " Best hounds in England," they said. And they all got their horses by the head in anticipation of a stinger. But the goddess Diana said " no." Moreover she whispered to Hazey, " You call the four miles you have come, seven, and let Mr. Romford and his sister depart in 268 MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. peace. They'll run you down, whatever you do, so you may just as well close as you are." And in pursuance of that decree, the scent became weaker and more languid. Indeed, only two or three of the old stagers could hold it at all, the rest of the pack being obliged to take it on trust. And though Jawkins cheered them, as if his noise would assist their endeavours, yet it was obvious to every one that unless the fox despised them sufficiently to aw^ait their coming up, they would never overtake him. Mr. Romford and sister Somerville, therefore, dropped their reins on their horses' necks preparatory to a stop. Our Master had taken his bearings from '' Ten-and-a-half," and found he was going from home instead of towards it. Had the fox been travelling *' t'other way," there is no saying but Facey might have holloaed them on to him, even though they were driving him into his country, where he might find him another day. Here, hoAvever, there was no inducement to stay, Facey having, as he said, appraised the establishment to ninepence, and wouldn't know tliem better if he stayed there a month. So Lucy and he quietly withdrew to the rear of the field, and as Hazey now pressed on to contribute his quota of science to the huntsman, telling him which way he thought the fox was gone, they availed themselves of an intervening plantation to retire altogether, mutually agreeing they had had enough of old Hazey and the Hard and Sharp hounds. They then struck across country in search of their way home. ox THEIR WAY HOME. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 2G9 CHAPTER XLII. THE FAT BOY OF PICKERING XOOK. The news of Mr. Romford's expedition to Tarring Neville soon reached DalbeiTv Lees, and caused a profound sensation in that quarter. Both Mrs. AVatkins and Miss looked upon it with grave suspicion, for though they did not admit Miss Hazey's beauty — indeed, thought at times she was rather plain — vet they both confessed her dangerous powers of coquetry, and di-eaded lest she might have ensnared the innocent Mr. Romford in her wiles. If Mrs. Watkins had only known he had been going, she would have given him a hint as to Miss Anna Maria's propensities — she was a regular flirt, and nothing else. Now the only thing they could do was to endeavour to eradi- cate the mischief. Doubtless Mr. Hazey's hounds had been a source of great attraction ; but, then, they could not hope to get Mr. Watkins to set up a pack to counteract the impression they might have made. It was a pity that fox-hunters hung so together. And then the recollection of the non-arrival of the bag-fox occurred, and Mrs. "Watkins wished that might not have something to do with it, — if so, Mr. Carstangs had a great deal to answer for. However, the AVatkinses had the advantage of propinquity ; and, rich as Mr. Romford was, he might not be insensible to the advantages of an heiress — one, too, without any brothers, who were always great bores. And Mrs. Watkins considered long and anxiously how to reinstate themselves in the- sporting graces of the great master of Beldon Hall. At length she hit upon an idea, which, if not quite orthodox, was, at all events, well calculated to mislead a lady. And, for the purpose of fully explaining matters, we must here indulge in a little geography. If the reader will take a map of England— a Bradshaw, for instance — and cast his eye up to where Doubleimupshire shoulders Snoremborem shire in friendly famiharity, he will perceive a con- fluence of railways converging upon a dot denoting the once elegant and retired little toAvn of Pickering Nook. Before the introduction of steam, Pickering Nook was one of the quietest little places in the kingdom : one doctor, no lawyer, two milliners, and an occasional pedler with the latest London fashions. The inhabitants were chiefly elderly ladies and people who loved retirement and the musical note of the nightingale. Now it is hiss, screech, whistle — hiss, screech, whistle — 270 MR. FACE Y BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. mornino:, noou, and night. Five railways run right into the very heart of the httle town, severing it hke a starfish. It has become a perfect ant-hill of industrious locomotion. People seem to go to Pickering Nook in order to pass to every other place. NooJc ! Noolc ! Nook I Who doesn't know the familiar cry ? Pickering Nook is only its name upon paper. It is never called anything but Nook by the porters. When the first bisecting line cut right through the town, severing old Mr. Mellowfield's garden, it w^as said that the place was ruined for ever : no one could live there after. Mr. Mellowfield, who had retired from the troubles of fish- curing to enjoy his filberts and Madeira in the evening of life, was so shocked at the invasion of his privacy, that he nearly choked himself with anger as he waddled about with a plan of the premises, detailing his grievance to everybody that would listen to him : and nothing but a strong application of golden ointment could have got over the difiiculty. Ten thousand pounds for two thousand pounds' worth of property mollified him. The next line of railway had fewer opponents ; the third one, less ; and so on in a diminishing ratio. But the extraordinary part of the thing was, that what at first was looked upon as an intolerable nuisance by the natives, w'as presently regarded as an absolute advantage by a stranger, an affluent young gentleman, much troubled with obesity, which none of the ordinary remedies, could reduce. In vain he tried walking, and riding, and rowing, and swimming, and cricketing, and Turkish bathing, — he never €ould get himself below eighteen stone and a-half. Fox-hunting he didn't like, because of the wait and uncertainty ; hare-hunting had the same objection — he got chilled between the heats, and, moreover, disliked the monotony of road riding. Starving was very much at variance with his inclination, and even by living upon fish, or biscuits and grapes, he seldom got more than half a stone off his w^eight — nothing to a man who had turned twenty. He didn't like it : he was afraid he should get too fat. Not that he w^as too fat, then ; but he was afraid of becoming so. It is a comfortable circumstance that people never do fancy themselves too fat : they are sometimes afraid of becoming too fat, but they are never too fat at the time — just the right size, in fact ; only hope they will be able to keep as they are. This stranger was young Mr. Stotfold, of — we don't exactly know where — a gentleman who was commonly called Squeakey Stotfold, from his having a most disproportionate voice to his body. It was more like the shrill note of our friend Punch, w-hen plying for patronage, than the natural voice of a human being ; and the sound of it always made people start and turn round, MB. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 271 short round, to see what was coming. Yv'ell, young StbtfolU being very fond of his food, was afraid that he might ultimately get too fat ; and at length his medical adviser, Mr. Slopperton, hit upon a plan that should procure him the exercise of hunting without its drawbacks and disadvantages. He proposed that his patient should set up a pack of stag-hounds, and hunt from railway stations : nothing to do but load and enlarge his stag Avherever he liked. Xo asking leave, no paying damage, no propitiating farmers, no preparation — no nothing, but just do what he liked. If one place got too hot to hold him, he had nothing to do but pack up his trnps and away to another. And, glancing at the map — as we requested the reader to do — the convergence of lines upon Pickering Nook pointed it out as one of the most ehgible spots for that sort of pursuit in the kingdom. IVom it Mr. Stotfold could shoot out north, south, east, and west — up into Snoremboremshire, down into Doubleimupshire, out on either side, with plenty of stations, and a great variety of country. Nothing to do but look at his Bradshaw. Hunt at any hour of the day : express train, mixed train, slow train, goods train — they Avere going at all times of the day. And old Mr. Mellowfield's liouse, close to the station, being vacant, Mr. Stotfold installed himself in it, with a most miscellaneous kennel of hounds, and some of the strongest, roughest-going horses in the kingdom. There was nothing too rough-actioned for Stotfold to ride : the more he bumped, the more exercise he got, the more he could eat — and eating was the object, not hunting ; he hunted to eat, in fact. Many travellers, we dare say, have seen our friend lounging about the station at Pickering Nook, or smoking his cigar on the triumphal arch that connects the up lines witli the down, looking as though he were lord of all he surveyed, and as if everybody who saw him must admire him. He dressed in the brightest, gaudiest colours : pea-green coat, with canary-coloured vest, sensation ties. Garibaldi shirts, leathers and tops. He was always attracting attention by ventriloquising the guards and lailway-porters, as it were, with his extraordinary voice. All his non-hunting days were spent ao the station, in chaffing the attendants, and flirting with the pretty girls in the refreshment looms. At the time of our story he was just turned five-and-twenty, though he did not look so much, having a fine light, cauliflower- like head of hair, shading a plump, blue-eyed, pink-and-white, round face, that would have looked more at home under a bonnet than a hat. Whiskers he had none, and very npocryphal mous- tache, with which, however, he took considerable pains, — 272 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. frequently feeling if it was all there, and trying to coax it into a ram's-horn-like curl at the corners. He had been at the " Nook " since the beginning of the season, hunting and trespassing wherever he liked — procuring himself a certain amount of ill-will from the farmers and people, more on account of the unmannerly conduct of some of his stags, than the mere hunting proceeding. One stag in particular, called the Benicia Boy, had been very unruly, having upset a clothes- basketful of children out airing in Reislip Green Road, knocked an old milkman over with his cans, and starred the lofty mirror in Mrs. Sarcenet's millinery shop in Shelvington with his great unprincipled head. Still, a stag-hunt being a novelty, many people asked the fat boy to their places ; while the fact of his being a bachelor did not lessen his attractions. "With a lady like Mrs. Watkins, who knew no better than pro- claim that her husband only hunted for conformity, and who thought to ingratiate herself with such a sportsman as our hero by sonding for a bag-fox from town, it may readily be supposed that the fat-boy's establishment would be very deceptive ; and it now occurred to her anxious mind, that if she could get Mr. Stotfold to come to Dalberry Lees with his stag-hounds, they would not only retrieve the former disippointment, but also ingratiate them- selves very considerably with Mr. Romford. She thought a stag- hunt would be the very thing to tempt him with ; make such a nice change from the fox-hounds ; and the more she thought of it, the better she liked it. And, without consulting friend Willy, she determined to carry out the idea. Migratory masters not being very ceremonious, though none of them "had even seen the tat boy, yet Cassandra Cleopatra " Dear Sir'd" him on behalf of her father, inviting him to dine and stay all night at Dalberry Le2S, and turn his stag out on the lawn the next day. The invitation came opportunely, for somehow Squeakey, who was not often asked twice to the same place, Avas beginning to feel the want of society other than the Xook aiforded, and he gladly instructed Tomkins, the station master — to whom (not being a good speller himself) he gave £5 for conducting his corre- spondence — to accept the invitation on behalf of himself, his stag, and his hounds. And, having thus laid the foundation of another '' uproar," Miss Cassandra was presently at her desk again, on behalf of mamma, invitini; her " Dear Mr. Romford " to come to meet a brother master of hounds ; saying it w^asn't Mr. Hazey, but not telling him w^ho it Avas. And Romford, albeit very wary, and not at all anxious to meet any of the masters of hounds whose kennels he MB. FACEY ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS, 273 had laid under contribution for hounds, considered, on reflection, that none of them would be likely to visit such a muff as old Willy ; and Anna Maria's charms having now somewhat paled before the effulgent light of Cassandra Cleopatra's ducats, he, too; accepted the invitation, and so made the Dalberry Lees ladies supremely happy. CHAPTER XLIII. MR. STOTFOLD S ESTABLISHMENT. AKINGr it in a galloping point of view, there is no doubt that the stag - hunter has a decided advantage over his brethren of the chase, whether fox - hunters or thistle-whippers, in always being sure of his game. He is like a man with his dinner in his pocket, sure of a feed wherever he is. Whether the stag-hunter's game will run or not, is another question : but the same may be said of the fox and the hare. Still, the stag-hunter never has a blank day ; he is sure of seeing the animal descend, at all events, and if he won't condescend to run, the true sportsman has the same privilege that the costermonger had with his donkey "vot vouldn't go " — namely, the right of "larruping him." To the fair sex the stag is truly invaluable ; and we should think the ladies would poll twenty to one in favour of the stag over the fox. They see the actual animal that has to be hunted, instead of having to draw upon their imaginations for the idea. Then, look at the independence of the thing. While the fox-hunter's anxieties continue all the year round, agravated by prefidious keepers, THE QUARRY 274 ]!dR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. faithless friends, and are never more acute than on the particular mornin<^ of the meet, the stag-hunter turns about in his bed with the easy indifference of the sluggard, conscious that he, at all events, will be all right, and can lay his hand on his game on the instant. No trappers, no shooters, no unpunctual earth -stoppers, disturb the calm serenity of his repose. He is not afraid of the foot people molesting the cover, or of lazy sportsmen stopping short by its side. The hare-hunter may go flop, flop, flopping about the country, peering into all the bushes and tufts he comes near, without finding what he wants ; but the stag-hunter has his proud beast under lock and key, and has only to shoot the bolt, give him a kick,' and set him a-going; Then there is something fine, wild, and romantic in the idea of stag-hunting,. heightened by the pictures one sees of the perfor- mance, — the forest glade, the boundless moor, the impassable- looking ravines, the glassy lake, the horns, the hounds, the hubbub. It is the happy confusion of fiction with fact, the blending of the glories of the past with the tameness of the present, that tends to keep the flag of stag-hunting flying in the ascendant. Still, as with Stotfold, so with other masters, many people did not care to see the stag-hounds a second time. They like to say they have seen a stag-hunt, and having seen one are satisfied, and don't let out that things were not quite what they expected. And now for our friend Mr. Stotfold. We wish we could accommodate the sporting reader with a list of Mr. Stotfold's stag-hounds : but, unfortunately, the same difficulty presents itself that we encountered at the outset of this story with regard to Mr. Romford's pedigree — namely, that we did not know anything ; the fact being, that Mr. Stotfold did not keep any list. That, however, is in reality of little importance ; for his huntsman. Jack Rogers, being a liberal of the first class, did not burthen himself with much nomenclature either, and just called the majority of his hounds by any name that came first into his head, so that the Cheerful of one day might be the Careless of another, and perhaps the Countess or Coroline of a third. Mr. Stotfold generally had about five-and-twenty couple of hounds in kennel, hunting from eighteen to twenty couple, accord- ing as the exigencies of the rope and the casualties of the chase operated on their number. He did not begin with a whole pack, but bought a lot of drafts at the hammer, which were vacillating between the Indian market and the tan-yard. These came in pretty cheap — some three or four and forty sliillings a couple ; and a hound being a hound in Mr. Stotfold's estimation, he limited himself to three guineas a couple in future — three guineas being his outside price. Of course he got some for a MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 275 gi'eat deal less — for nothing, in fact, sometimes ; it ])eing common iimoDg huntsmen, when they had a headstrong, skirting, babbling, incorrigible animal that they could make nothing of, to exclaim to their whips, " send him to Stotfold ! send him to Stotfold ! " Hence, as may be supposed, he had a very miscellaneous assort- ment of crooked-legged, blear-eyed, broken -coated, loose-loincd, flat-sided malefactors in his possession. Two Yery remarkable hounds, however, he had — namely, Wide- awake and* Wiseacre ; not brothers, as the alliteration would lend one to suppose, for they Avere as dissimilar as it was possible for animals tu be, but so christened respectively on account of their extraordinary powers and performances. So long as Jack Rogers, the huntsman, had either Wideawake or Wiseacre before him, lie was pretty sure that the stag was before the hounds, and made himself perfectly easy about the rest of the pack. The reader can therefore do the same, and dismiss the rest as a lot of makeweight incorrigibles, possessed of almost every mental and bodily defect hounds are capable of. We will now describe the flower of the pack, in ease any of our readers would hke to breed from them. Wideawake was a yellow or light tan-coloured hound, with bright hazel eyes and a very Spanish-pointer-like head and expression of countenance. Indeed Jack Rogers, who was a bit of a utilitarian, used to say he wouldn't despair of making him point still. He — the hound, that is to say — stood twenty-five inches high, with ;i drooping kangaroo-like back, terminating in a very abruptly- docked tail, looking, indeed, more like an Italian iron, as used in laundries, than a hound's stern. Xor were his personal defects his sole demerits. He ran mute, and being a queer, unaccountable- looking animal, was as often taken for the stag as for a hound. *' Yeas, ar seed him," the countrymen would reply to Jack's inquiry if they had seen the stag, " yeas, ar seed him ; short tail and arl, a-goin' as hard as ivir he could lick." Wiseacre was quite a different description of animal, being of the bull-dog-like order, black and white in colour ; very much the sort of animal one sees chained under a carrier's cart. He was short and thick, with a big bald face, loaded shoulders, crooked legs, and flat feet. Unlike Wideawake, he was of the vociferous order ; and though he did not throw his tongue prodigally, he yet did it in such a solemn sententious sort of way as always to carry conviction to the pack. He could hunt l)oth the stag and Wide- awake, and run under Wideawake's belly when he came up with him. Between the two, Jack reckoned he could catch almost anything ; Wideawake making the running, and Wiseacre keeping •the clamorous party on the line. ' And it was a fine, cheeriuir, inviirorating sight to stand on a 'o' 276 MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, rising ground — Rounhay or Greenley Hill, for instance — and view the whole panorama of the chase. The noble but unantlered monarch lobbing and blobbing across country, making for all the railway stations, cabbage garths, and horse-ponds he could see, with the deficient-tailed "Wideawake leading the boisterous pack by some hundred yards or so, while sedulous Wiseacre phed his nose diligently (doing a little skirting occasionally), to recall his comrades in case they overshot the joint scent of Wideawake and the stag, Jack Rogers and his plump master crashing and cram- ming after them. And noAV for a word about Rogers. Jack Rogers, as we Avill now take the liberty of calling him, began life as a circus man, being attached to the then flourishing troupe belonging to the late Mr. Nutkins, so favourably known throughout the southern counties ; and Jack was great both in the saddle and the sawdust, enacting the ch-unken huzzar with the greatest fidelity, and throwing somersaults without stint or hesita- tion. Unfortunately, however, he had a difference with the clown, Mr. Smearface, who, instead of visiting Jack with imaginary cuts with his whip, used to drop it into him with such a hearty good will as caused Jack, who was amazingly strong and an excellent boxer, to thrash him, not figuratively, but literally, w'ithin an inch of his life. To escape the consequences that seemed likely to ensue. Jack bolted to Boulogne, where he presently became boots nt the " Roast Beef of Old England Hotel," a house, we need hardly say, greatly frequented l)y the English. Here Jack took to learning the language, and adapting himself to the manners and customs of the country, whereby he greatly bettered his con- dition ; for the English like to get a lesson in French for nothing, and Jack, being a sharp, clever fellow, adapted himself to their humours, calling himself Jean Rougier, getting his ears bored, wearing moustache and a good deal of bristly hair about his round, good-humoured face. At length Jack tired of *'mossooing,'* and returned to England at the active age of forty, just as old Eather Time had shot the first tinge of grey through the aforesaid bristly jet-black hair. He then became a valet to a young gentle- man of the name of Pi'ingle — Billy Pringle — whose mother Avas what the servants call " a quality lady " ; that is to say, a lady of YiiYil^^ — to wit, the Countess of Ladythorne, wife of the Right Honourable the Earl of Ladythorne, of Tantivy Castle, in Eeather- bedfordshire. Here Jack — or rather Jean, for he still retained the persiffar/e of the Frenchman — did ^'ery well, having plenty of society and little to do, beyond cheating the young gentleman, who was a very easy dupe. Unfortunately for Jean, however, his master's mother, before being a countess, had filled the honourable office of a lady's maid, and was well versed in the mysteries of s'er- MR, FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 277 vitude generally, and resented Jack's premature abstraction of clothes and constant purchase of infallible recipes at his master's expense, — recipes for making boots black, recipes for making boots brown, recipes for making boots white, recipes for making boots pink, recipes for making gloves white, recipes for making gloves drab, recipes for making gloves cream-colour, and so on through the whole catalogue of cleanable, renovateable articles of attire. And, having hired Jack for her son when she was not a countess, but a Mrs., her ladyship was very plainspoken with Jack, who, being full of beans and independence, as these sort of gentry generally are, threw up his place at once, saying it was far too *' mean and confining for him," and cast himself upon the world at large generally, little doubting that he would very soon be sought after. Somehow or other, though. Jack was out in his reckoning, and though he plied both the French and English characters assiduously, and was often apparently within an ace of being hired, yet somehow the engagement always fell through at the last moment, and the seedier Jack got, the quicker came the refusals. One gentleman to whom he ottered himself as a French valet wanted an English one : another to whom he offered himself as an English one wanted a Frenchman ; a third wanted a taller man, a fourth a thinner man, a fifth a younger man — all require- ments that Jack could not comply with. The fact Avas, that though he was a dark-complexioned man, there was a certain in- dication about his nose that it would have been well if he could have purchased a recipe for removing. Though he always placed himself with his back to the light when under examination, yet somehow the parties generally got him coaxed round to the window before they were done with the scrutiny. And then came the thanks and the sorries, and the tantalising promises to write if they thought more^of him, as if any of them ever meditated doing anything of the sort after they had once got rid of him. There is nothing so deplorable as a seedy valet. A man had fifty times better be without any than have one of those painfully brushed glazey-clothed gentlemen, who look as if the whole con- cern had been bought second-hand. Jack, having in the days of his prosperity indulged in bright colours, went more rapidly down hill than the wearer of soberer garbs would have done, and at length he got so shockingly shabby that the gentlemen's gentle- men beg:an to hesitate about passing him on to their masters when he went to look after a place. He was a very different Jack to what he used to be at the second tables when, in the full adorn- ment of jewellery and latitude of presumption, he buUied the pages, and found scarcely anything was good enough for him. Now he 278 MR. FACET ROMFORD S HOUKDS. wus ouly too glad to sit down in the hall amid the general ruck of servants, and get what he could on the slv. At this juncture it occurred to Jack that there are other ways- of obtaining a livelihood than by valeting, and, though valeting certainly was the easiest and pleasanter line of all, he had no ob-^ jection to his early professional career, and bethought him of trying his luck in the sawdust circle once more. Accordingly he sought out Mr. Crackenthorpe, the manager of Crackenthorpe's lioyal European Hippodrome, and offered his services as a general performer ; but twenty years had made a striking change in Jack's elasticity of limb. Instead of coming cleverly through the paper bal- loon, after throwing a somersault, he hit his head against the hoop,, and sent it flying into the pit. Then, having accidentally slipped from his saddle when rehearsing the part of Billy Button the- tailor, he could not regain his seat for some seconds, and was so- blown with running alongside the brute and trying to pacify him,, that ]\Ir. Crackenthorpe lost all patience, and left his locum iciicnS' to bow him out at his leisure. Jack then withdrew^ from that line entirely, and after driving a country doctor about in his pill-box for three months, who worked him both day and night, he wii& next found as the odd man at Skidmore's Livery and Bait Stables in Pont Street, Pimlico, with twelve shillings a week and a hay- loft to sleep in. If Sir Bernard Burke, having exhausted the vicissitudes of families, were to turn his hand to the vicissitudes of servants, he would not tind a more checkered or eventful career than that of our distinguished friend Mr. Rogers. J>ut it is a long lane that never has a turn, and Jack's turn came at last. One fine summer's afternoon in the height of a London season, when every job-master could send out double the . number of vehicles he could supply, and when every caitiff with a coat to his back was elevated to the rank of a coachman, one summer's afternoon, Ave say, as Jack was clattering about Skid- more's yard in the wooden clogs of servitude, with straw bands wrapped around his ankles, our squeakey friend Mr. Stotfold came rolling in in a high state of exitement, demanding first the master^ then the mistress, then the ostler, then the helper, then anybody he could see. He had just bought ten couple of hounds at Tattersall's, and didn't know how the deuce to get them aAvay, or what to do with them when he had got them away. And, as luck would have it, there was nobody in the yard but Rogers — Rogers attired as aforesaid — " but needs must," says the proverb, " wheii a certain old gentlemen drives," and our master had no alternative but to address himself to Jack. He told him candidly how they had knocked the hounds down to him, and how he wanted them hoased. MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 279 Xow, Jack had a turn for the chase, and when with Mr. Pringle at Tantivj Castle, on a visit to his late master's noble mother, the Countess, had cultivated the acquaintance of Mr. Dickey Boggle- dike. Lord Ladythorne's huntsman, and knew all about boiling and feeding and kennelling, at least thought he did, and gladly volunteered his services to Mr. Stotfold. " If Jack could only get a man to mind the yard while he was away, he would go for them himself,"' he said, and a job brougham n^'1 .' ^'~~^i t*sf '^i^r ?l— 'i2f4 'five COUPLES EACtl." coming in at the moment, he transferred his responsibility to the driver, and, divesting himself of liis sabots, put on an old puce- coloured livery vest, now worn almost black, and proceeded on his way to the Corner, inwardly hoping his employer might prove as simple as he looked. The hounds were in two lots of five couples each, now, however, clubbed together like a bunch of onions, pulling and striving, and straining all ways to be off they didn't know where to, and Jack, seeing the position, summoned the intelligent bare-footed man in the old green-collared Surrey hunt coat and cap, who haunts the passage, and directing him to divide them (Jack thinking it would be better for Surrey man to be bit than him), each then seized the 2«0 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S MOUNDS. tow rope of five couple, and separating them proceeded up the entry, and down Grosvenor Place with his charge, amid cries from the attendant street urchins of " Talli o ! talli o ! A hunt ! a hunt ! Yere do you meet ? Vere's the stag ? Have you seen my OSS ? Crikey ! vot a hugly man ! " meaning, of course, Mr. Rogers. The " hugly " man, however, had his hands too full to be able to resent the indignity, and, moreover, saw the fat boy's large figure looming in the rear. '' Handsome is tliat handsome does," says the proverb, and the way our friend managed his hounds, and above all the skilful compliments he paid My. Stotfold on his judgment in buying such a nice-looking lot for so little money, completely ingratiated him w^ith our master, and made Mr. Stotfold glad when Jack hinted that he wouldn't mind giving up the capital place he then had under Mr. Skidmore and coming to him. And Jack, not overrating himself — indeed, putting his services rather low, Squeakey and he (piickly came to terms, and Jack left his saOofs in Pont Street for the man who came after him. He then became a huntsman — huntsman to Mr. Stotfold, master of stag-hounds, in which capacity the reader will now have the goodness to view him. He had a capital time of it, too, for his master being ignorant enough to hire him, was ignorant enough to keep him also, and a peripatetic stag-hunter like Mr. Stotfold was not troubled with those too critical fields that raise or lower the fame of a huntsman, according to the sport he shows. Jack was not only huntsman but master of the horse, buying the meat for the kennel and the forage for the stables, making up in overcharge on the articles what he considered himself under paid in the matter of wages. Hunting on what the swells call the scientific principle was quite beside Jack's mark. Nevertheless he could ride — ride over almost anything, and also blow the key-bugle, and seldom or ever had he occasion to play — " Oh where and oh where is mj^ Highland laddie gone ? " in consequence of losing his stag. If he whiles, as he said, let the hounds have a bite of its haunch, it was to make the lobbing gentleman more agile in future. Jack being of opinion that if a hound once put his fangs well into him, the stag would take care not to let him do it again if he could help it. At least. Jack knew he wouldn't if he were the stag. ', Such, then, was the gentleman now invited by Mrs. Watkins to meet our distinguisbed sportsman Mr. Pomford, and obliterate the recollection of the Carstangs disappointment. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 281 CHAPTER XLIV. MR. STOTFOLD ARRIVES AT DALBERRY LEES. Railways are capital things for long distances, but they don't do much for short ones. It is a grand thing to fly from one end of the kingdom to another in a day, but, for anything within ten miles, there is nothing like having one's own horse or conveyance. With them there is no hurry or confusion, ten minutes is neither here nor there, but one minute makes all the difference with a railway. It is very provoking to see a train gliding smoothly out at one end of a station as we come hurrying in at the other ; yet such things do happen with parties wearing even the best regu- lated chronometers. But if railways do little for travellers, they do less for visitors, who are generally set down either far too early or much too late — extrem'es greatly to be deprecated. It is tiresome in the short winter days, when there is no alleviating turn to take round the farm or the garden, to have to consume the intervening time before dinner in the house, still worse to meet the first course leaving the dining-room, all hope of one's coming being extinct. Neither of these casualties, we are happy to say, awaited our friend Mr. Stotfold, for, having consulted his amanuensis, Mr. Tomkins, the station-master at Pickering Xook, that official chose him a train that would not only set him down in good time, but secure him a conveyance to Dalberry Lees, " It being no fun," as Tomkins truly said, " to have to walk several miles in the dark." This was a through train, and many of the passengers having come long distances and made themselves comfortable, were not iuclmed to be disturbed, certaiidy not to admit a stranger of our friend's dimensions, so the usual artifices were resorted to, dummies exhibited, and babies plied at the windows, it being a well- ascertained fact that there is nothing so efficacious as a babhf/ for keeping men out of a carriage. But Loggau, the guard, always had a place in reserve for a "gent" like our friend, and now obsequiously met and led him along the line to a newly painted carriage, in the centre compartment of which were only an elderly lady and her handsome, but slightly passe, daughter, who he knew would have no objection to the introduction of such a stranger as Squire Stotfold ; indeed Loggan rather thought that the two travelled for the purpose of picking up an eligible young man if they could. And the fat boy having squeezed himself in sideways, squeaking his apologies as he got himself seated, proceeded to 282 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. unfold his rug and set his tongue agoing on a sorb of general issue- expedition — weather, crops, concerts, balls, pic-nics, the usual staple of unmarried conversation — making himself what the ladies, call very agreeable, or verv forward, according as they or another is the object of attention. But it was a short-lived triumph, for they had hardly got the- full swing of conversation established ere the slackening speed of the train announced a coming stop, and it presently pulled up before the now famihar Firfield Station. Loggan's rosy face then appeared at the carriage window, announcing to our master of stag-hounds that his railway journey was at an end. Mr. Stot- fold had, therefore, to tear himself away from his newly-found friends before he had even run them to their homes. With a radiant smile to each, out then he rolled, wrapper and all, and ])resently began squeaking for a porter — " Porter ! Porter !: Porter ! " — attracting all eyes to the windows to see such a jolly cockatoo, all green and yellow and red, for the fat boy did not seem to think he could make himself sufficiently conspicuous. The train presently sped on, and having given up his ticket, he- began squeaking for the 'bus. Independent Jimmy stared with astonishment as the fat boy'& great stomach came looming along, tightly buttoned into a bright green double-breasted cut-away coat, with a butf vest, yellow leathers, and rose-tinted tops ; his short neck being adorned w^itli a bright scarlet sensation tie, secured by a massive blue and gold rimr. *' 'Bus, 'bus I where \s the 'bus ? " squeaked he. " 'Bus ! " growled Jimmy, eyeing him, adding, '-sink ye should have a barge." But the fat boy still continued his vociferations. " Are ye gannin to tak' the whole on't yourseF now ? " de« manded Jimmy. "No, only me and my man," replied the boy, pointing to a. grinning little ear-ringed Frenchman, all teeth and hair, like a rat-catcher's dog. " Ar dinna think we can hould any but yersel'," rei:>lied Jimmy,. *' ye're se fat," added he, looking him over. " Hut," snorted the boy indignantly, half inclined to kick him ; "an impudent 'bus man talking to a master of stag-hounds in that way." "Why, then, ar tell ye what, ye mun just wait for the melon- frame," replied Jimmy, "for there are two women, 'maist as big as yoursel' with their hoops, who want to be gannin wi' me." " Melon-frame ! " squeaked our friend ; " melon-frame ! whati the deuce have I to do with a melon-frame ? " MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 283: "It's the private carridge," explained Jimmy, "and jc'll ride far comfortabler, and besides be set doon at the Dalberry Lees door, 'stead o' bein' left by the side of the road with the 'bus," and Jimmy's master appearing at the moment, bearing a basket of live geese, Jimmy jerked his head at our fat friend and said *' here's a gent wants to be gannin wi' ye." The melon-frame door was then opened, the wraps were put in, and the I'at boy squeezed himself in sideways, leaving his valet to see to the luggage. All being presently adjusted, " Jip ! " cried the driver, and away they drove from the station. Twenty minutes brought them to Dalberry Lees. Here, though Mr.- Stotfold, master of stag-hounds, expected to be the hero of the party, yet he was not so in reality, being in fact only auxiliary to Mr. Eomford. Lideed, if it hadn't been for our fox-hound master, Stotfold wouldn't have been there at all. So, when he rolled into the drawing-room after his name, and found Mr. Romford, who had somewhat recovered from his Tarring Neville- fever, playing the flute to Miss Cassandra Cleopatra, he took him rather smally, just as a master of fox-hounds might be supposed to take a master of harriers. Li this he was somewhat contirmed by finding Mr. Romford in mufti — tweed ditto suit — instead of being arrayed, as he himself was, in the costume of the chase. Stotfold thought a master of hounds should always look like his- work. Stotfold, indeed, had not ascertained his exact status as a master of stag-hounds, and having found his name when he advertised his meets at the top of the list of hounds, along with the Queen's, a baron's, a baronet's, and so on, thought himself entitled to look down upon the followers of all other branches of Ycnery, and looked down upon them accordingly. He talked of the Queen and I, Davis and I, Bessborough and I, &c. Nor was Stotfold's ignorance peculiar to himself, for Mrs. Watkins, fully believing she Avas going to give Mr. Romford a great treat, would not anticipate his delight by telling him the name, so ^Ir. Romford was kept in a state of pleasurable excitement. The reader will therefore readily imagine that it was with no- very Fatisfactory feelings that our Master was interrupted in the middle of his accompaniment on the flute of Miss Cassandra. Cleopatra on the harp in the popular air of " Dixey's Land," by the announcement and entry of this extraordinary contribution to the chace. Facey started, for his puffing and blowing had i)re- vented his hearing the ring and arrival, and, as he sat with his back to the door, it was only by Miss Cassandra Cleopatra break- ing off abruptly to do the honours in the absence of mamma, that Facey w^as sensible of the presence of a stranger. Up he got too„ 284 MR. FACET ROMFORTrS HOUNDS. and, instead of finding Lord Who-knows-what, confronted the before-mentioned fat boy. " Mither Romford, Mither Stotfold," lisped the fair lady, and as soon as Mr. Stotfold relinquished her soft hand, which he claimed just as he would that of one of the nymphs of the Picker- ing Nook Station, he tendered his own to Mr. Romford. Romford looked unutterable things, for, besides the disappoint- ment of a good introduction to a master of fox-hounds, he had had a bill sent in for two new gates which he was sure the fat boy had smashed the last time he enlarged his quadruped at Pine Hill Clump, besides which he owed Jiiin one for the trespass in his country. So Romford just gave him two fore-fingers of his left hand, holding his flute in his right one as if he was going to break it over his head. The ceremony of introduction thus over, Facey then resumed his seat, and the fat boy having looked round the room to find a chair large enough to hold him, at length wheeled one up to the scene of the music, and composed himself in it. Miss then rang the bell to let mamma know Mr. Stotfold was come, thinking it better to have four people in the room than three. Mamma presently came sailing in, and received the great stag-hunter in state. Still she saw by Mr. Romford's face that all was not right. It wore much the same sort of aspect that it did on the unfortunate bag-fox morning. Not so, however, Mr. Stotfold's. From living so much alone, he had a pent-up torrent of words to discharge, and, having now got a listener in Mrs. AYatkins, he opened the flood-gates of his vehemence and squeaked and chattered away with the utmost volubility, in the midst of which Facey and Cassandra resumed the interrupted melody of " Dixey's Land." Before they con- cluded, friend Willy made his appearance, nursing and feeling his side hair as usual, and then Mr. Sbotfold had another victim to his noise. We need scarcely say that this being what Facey would call a *' bye-day," Lubbins had not the satisfaction of displaying her cookery, and the thing was very flat and unprofitable compared to the former occasion. The fact was, Mr. Facey had been over with his flute once or twice since then, and Mrs. Watkins hoped things were gradually drawing into the family circle line ; they, therefore, only sat down eight to dinner, Mr. Tuckwell, Mr. Horsington, and Mrs. Dust, near and short-notice neighbours making up the number. Mrs. Dust, of course, was engaged to help to keep the course clear for Cassandra. But if the party was small, the noise was great ; the fat boy going in at everything that was said, and giving his opinions in the most authoritative way. When, however, the ladies retired, the real amusement MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 285 commenced, for not content with lauding the stag-hounds, he must needs sneer at the fox-hounds, which of course got Mr. Rom- ford's back up, who lield fox-hunting to be the finest sport in the world. So the evening did not pass very harmoniously, and Mr. Facey was glad when he found himself back in the drawing- room. Let us now pass on to the next morning. CHAPTER XLY. THE BENICIA BOY. " Oh, mamma, there's Lorrimer, the latheman's cart ! " ex- claimed our lisping friend, looking out of the window, as they all sat at breakfast the next morning. " I'll get him to examine my black lathe scar.f" " Laceman ! " squeaked Stotfold, looking out,- adding, " Xo ; Ifs my deer-cart." " Deer-cart ! " replied Miss Watkins, jumping up and running to the window, adding, " Deer-cart is it ? Why, who'd have thought of a deer keeping a cart ? " Squeakey Avas right, however. It was indeed the deer-cart — the deer-cart followed by a most heterogeneous assemblage of foot- people, collected from the various villages through which it had passed on its way from the station. High up on a solitary seat sat the driver, dressed in Lincoln green, lording it over the old white horse as though he were driving four-in-liand. The lofty vehicle, Avhich was painted dark green, was ventilated from the roof, and displayed on its side, in white letters on a black ground, the walking advertisement of " Augustus Stotfold, Esquire's- Deer-Cart, Pk-kerixg Xook." The vehicle, as Hood says in his *' Epping Hunt," was — " In shape like half a hearse — tho' r.ot For corpses in the least ; For this contained the deer alive, And not the dear deceased ! " Then a deputation from the stables having met the procession, and fixed upon the exact spot — a slightly rising ground just before the mansion-house, where the noble animal might be enlarged in full view of all the spectators — Lincoln green wheeled the cart round, and dropping his reins on the old white horse's 286 MK. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. back, prepared his own mouth to receive the contents of the then coming cup — " And letting go the rcin.^, of course, Prepared for lieavij rcrt."' The drain over, he returned the mug, and then rising in his little seat, began flagellating his own chest with his arms, causing the Benicia Bo}^ for it was none other than the mischievous fellow inside, to stamp and thump with his feet, to the terror of the little boys who expected to have him amongst them directly. The more the man thrashed, the more the deer stamped, doubtless expecting every moment to be ejected from his comfortable carriage. And, now, 'w^here are all your visions of rousing the antlered monarch from .his lair, ye enthusiastic souls ? Or where the wild expanse of country, ye romantic ones ? One view of the deer-cart on the smooth lawn, has dispelled them all ! Yet nobody likes to exclaim, " Wot a go ! " But see ! here comes •Jack Rogers and the hounds I Jack about half seas over from the ovations he has received on the road. His cap is cocked jauntily above the left ear, his pink is thrown carelessly open, even to the exposure of a much-stained buff vest, while his badly- cleaned boots seem on the worst possible terms with his dirty Bedford cords, hardly indeed inclined to approach them at all. He is riding a great raking, white-heeled, cock-throppled 'Chesnut, who throws his snaffle-bridled head up and down in a way that would look veiy like spoiling Jack's beauty if he had •any. A little behind the pack, comes a diminutive man, in a red coat and drab gaiters, riding a most powerful dray-horse-looking brown for the fat master. This is a horse called " Hatter-his- heart-out," from his notorious rough action, a quahty that, while it has caused his ejection from other stables, has procured him admission into Mr. Stotf old's, whose idea of a hunt corresponds with the familiar label on a doctors bottle, ''When taken to be well shaken." Jack Rogers wishing to have his kennel *' sweetened a little," as he calls it, an operation of not very frequent occurrence with him, has brought out all its contents, young and old, big and little, wild and steady, coupling up the most incorrigil)le, and ruling over the whole with a formidable loose thonged whip, held ready for immediate action. Jack is evidently of honest Sancho Panza's opinion, "that it is good to have command, if only over a flock of sheep ; " so he rides in the middle of his curs, looking as solemnly wise as half-drunken men generally do. The hounds raised a wild cry as they caught sight of the deer-cart, and would .infallibly have broken away had not Jack distributed sundry MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 287 telling cuts amongst the thick of them, thus converting their cries into howls. This second scene of the grand sporting drama, again roused the inmates of the house, and as the ladies now witli- «drew to put on their bonnets, Mr. Romford crowned himself with his drab wide-a-wake, and, providing himself with a good cutting whip from the armoury in the passage, opened the front door, and vaulting the rails, proceeded to where the noisy group stood baying — towling, howling, and scratching themselves. We don't know whether it was instinct or .chance, or the effect of previous instruction, but Jack gave our Master of Foxhounds such a salute with his cap as seldom falls to the lot of any man in mufti. Ic wasn't a touch of the peak, or a rise, or a lift, but a bold bodily take-oflf from the head, with a fine aerial sweep that nearly brought his cap in conjunction Avith his cock-throppled horse's ears. The hounds too increased their vehemence, so that alto- gether there was a very pretty reception. Mr. Romford, w^ho was used to caps, good, bad, and indifferent, just jerked his hand in return, and proceeded to cast his scrutinis- ing little eyes into the body of the pack — a very slight inspection satisfied him that he had never seen such a collection before. " Nice looking lot of hounds," at length said he, addressing Jack, who sat cockeyly on his horse, waiting the customary compliment. " Yes, they are," replied Jack, " very nice looking lot of hounds —good as they look, too." " Set of rubbish," muttered Romford, turning half round on his heel. " Want a little dressing here, don't you ? " asked Romford, rubbing his w'hip down the back of a desperately dull brokeu- coated hound. "Ah, why he scratched whiles," replied Jack, "but it's nothin' to signify." "Isn't it?" thought Romford, He then took another good stare at the pack. " Are they any particular blood ? " at length asked Romford, not being able to recognise the slightest family likeuess amongst them. "Well, no," replied Jack ; "we just pick them up here and there. That one," pointing to our before-mentioned yellow friend Wideawake, *' is from the Kensal (4reen Kennel — one of the best hounds p'raps in England. There's another,"' said Jack, pointing to Wiseacre. " Good as he's ugly, I 'spose ? '' muttered Facey. Squeakey and Willy AVatkins now joined the gay throng, the Jatter in a desperate funk ; for if fox-hunting was formidable. 288 3IB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. stag-hunting;, he understood, Tvas tremendous — always went straight. Still he essayed to keep up his courage ; and advancing, whip under arm, as he drew on his white buckskin gloves, he proceeded to return Jack Eogers' vehement salute, Jack being now further fortified by a couple of glasses of Dalberry Lees rum. "Monstrous nice pack!" exclaimed Watkins at random, " Monstrous nice pack ! " hardly knowing what he was saying, but wishing most devoutly that he was coming in from hunting instead of going out. " Oh, dear ! Why was there ever such torment invented ? " thought he. " Well, and how's the Benicia Boy this morning ? " squeaked Stotfold, as soon as his huntsman's attentions were directed to him. " Oh, why he seems pretty hamiable, I think," replied Jack ; " but I've brought Old Scratch in case he shouldn't run." " Ah, which have you here ? " squeaked the Master. " The Boy," replied Jack. " Scratch is shut up in the lamp- room at the Galliburn Station." *' Hope they won't let him out ? " squeaked Mr. Stotfold. " No fear of that, unless he comes out at the skylight ; for I've got the key of the door," said Jack, produced a large ringed key from his coat pocket as he spoke. " All right," squeaked the Master ; adding, "'praps you may as well be going?" Then turning to Mr. Watkins, he asked, "if there was any place where they could put up the hounds while they turned out the stag ? " " Oh, yes," replied Mr. Watkins, rather taken aback at the question, his idea being that they all started fair together. " Oh, yes ; put them up somewhere ; " adding, " ask my man ; " — our Jriend not exactly knowing whether they should be up-stairs, or down-stairs, or in my lady's chamber. Away then Jack trotted up to the stables, and the interest of the scene was again concentrated on the deer-cart. There it stood as solemn as before, looking like a double-tailed tadpole, with its two tapering lines of spectators bearing away from its body. If the horsemen mustered meagerly, the deficiency was amply supplied by the footpeople. It seemed to have attracted all the idle population of the country, and the cry Avas still They come ! they come ! Joiners in their paper caps, shoemakers in their leather aprons, grooms in their fustians, gardeners in their shirt sleeves, all agog to see tha wonderful wild beast. The fair sex too were duly represented ; and besides a Barcelona " crack-'em-and-try-'em " nut-merchant, there were two orange-girls, and an unlicensed dealer in spirituous liquors. Expectation stood on tip-toe as to what the solemn MB. FACET BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 289 looking deer-cart contained, one thinking the stag- Avonld be like a unicorn, another that he would resemble a goat, a third that he Avould be like Billy Batsou's ram. Still, Avhatever it was, they all seemed disposed to give him a wide berth, by keeping a most respectful avenue open for him instead of giving him a chance of sticking or eating any of them up when he came out. And now, as our fat friend waddled round the corner from the stables, the commotion increased ; the deer's coachman moved his van a few paces to arouse the noble animal, whose formidable feet might now be heard stamping upon the boards of his equipage. The fever of excitement was then at its height. The gaping I'ustics stared wider than ever, the big boys stepped back a pace or two, and the little ones trembled, many of them wishing them- selves at home again. But when the fat boy squeaked the order to " Let 'im out!'' there was a feeling of disappointment through- out the throng ; for there were neither horses, nor hounds, and those who expected to see the stag start otf directly, thought he would be over Rainford Hill before they could ever get them out. On this point, hcAvever, they were presently undeceived, for though the door was opened by the old gentleman in charge, creeping cautiously along the top of the van and shooting the bolt, yet no deer appeared, and those who durst take a peep in from either side, saw a rather donkeyfied-looking animal backing its hind-quarters against the far end of the vehicle, as though it wanted to be out that way. But the old gentleman in green, who had a long whip, much at the service of the animal, proceeded to administer the but end through the ventilator ; and after sundry downward thumps, producing a series of indignant snorts and stamps, it at length operated beneficially, causing him to jumj) out, and, head in air, to trot leisurely down the avenue of spectators, amid the derisive shouts and yells of the mob. In truth the Benicia Boy was not a very wild or imposing looking animal, his coat being dull and worn in parts, while one of its sides was powdered with whitening caused by a resti\e rubbing against the wall of its town-house in Pickering Nook. Still the Boy could go when inclined, and had given our fat friend some severe leads out, indeed on one or two occasions had been lost altogether, or Jack Rogers having got rid of his master had pretended to lose him, in order that he might indulge in a drink, and resume the sport on the following day. But the Boy was not to be depended upon — sometimes he would go, and sometimes he wouldn't, in which latter case, of course there was nothing for it but the donkeyman's alternative that we mentioned before, of larruping him, an unbecoming proceeding with a beast of venery. 290 MR. FACEY BOMFOBB'S HOUNDS. All anxiety about Lis now immediate escape was speedily dispelled by tho leisurely trot he now took about the lawn — lookino- this way and that, as though he hardly knew whether he would go on or come back to his box. He seemed quite easy about the matter, very unlike an animal put on trial for its life. At one time, indeed, he looked as if he would make for the garden, but there he was frustrated by the intervention of the kitchen- maid going down from the house for the vegetables. He then looked in at the dairy, and finally trotted off down the carriage drive, past the gaudy-gated lodges, and so on to the turnpike. The ejectment of the stag over, the excitement of the scene seems to collapse. Those who want to see more of him follow in his wake ; but the majority stay behind to talk him over, and criticise his performance. At all events, there is none of the wild enthusiasm caused by the sudden start up of the hare off the fallow, or the hustling, bustling, get-away-close-at-his-brush of the fox from the cover. On the contrary, there is a vacuum between the turning out and the laying on, that may perhaps be advan- tageously filled up with a cigar. 80, as the semi-theatrical gentlemen say, with a smile and a bow, when they want to break the performance in two, "there will now be an interval of ten minutes, if the reader pleases." CHAPTER XLVI. THE STAG -HUNT. Beeng now refreshed, we return with ardour to the chace. The Benicia Boy, as the reader will remember, is away — trotting gaily along the road, startling the horsemen and astonishing the foot people, sniffing the fresh air as if it were more agreeable than that of his box. Our sportsmen are up at the stables, Mr. Romford adjusting the stirrups of the saddle on one of Willy Watkins's horses for himself ; Mr. AVatkins, already on his horse, most earnestly wishing himself off ; and grinning Jack Rogers, all eager for the fray, thinking how he will astonish the natives. The first thing that now struck our Master of fox-hounds was our squeaky friend Mr. Stotfold vociferating for the rope — " Where's my rope ? I haven't got my rope ! Get me my rope ! " as if he was bent on immediate self-destruction. " Rope ! " exclaimed Romford, " what the deuce do you want with the rope ? Have your hunt out first, at all events." MB. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 291 " For the take, to be sure,'' squeaked fattj, langhiiio: now, receivino- a coil of rope from a servant, which he shpped into a large inside coat-])ocket, just as a clown in a pantomime disposes of a goose or a few yards of sausages. The boy then gave his fat self a hearty shake as if to ascertain that all was right, and think- ing it was — money, keys, watch, buns, cigars, rope, and all, he next began squeaking for his horse. " iSTow, then, I want my horse ! get me my horse ! where's my horse ! " and forthwith the dray-horse-like brown emerged from the side-stable, for our Master to mount. But this wasn't so easily managed as thought, for Willy AVatkins had abolished the steps at the end of the stable as antediluvian, without providing a substitute, and Stotfold's legs being short, and his horse high, he hopped about with one foot in the stirrup, without daring to attempt the grand final hoist. " Get me a pail ! get me a pail I '' at length squeaked he, relinquishing the effort, and forthwith two helpers rushed out with a pail each, while a third punched and pushed the punchy horse up to where they stood. Stotfold then made a bold effort, and landed in the happy haven of his enormous saddle, and began shuffling and working himself about like a jockey trying to cstabKsh a seat. At length he got one to his liking, and Romford having mounted his horse, things at length seemed all ready for a start. But the fat boy, instead of ordering Jack Rogers to liberate the pent-up pack in the straw-house, pulled his cigar-case out of his breast-pocket and deliberately selecting a weed, began squeaking for fire wherewith to light it — " Has anybody got any fire ! — has anybody got any fire I " demanded he, and Facej^ who had just lit his pipe, handed him it, and the fat boy proceeded to imbibe and blow up a leisurely cloud, instead of pursuing his deer as hard as he could. While all this was enacting. Brisket the butcher, and two or three other horsemen — or, more properly speaking, pony men, — who had met the Benicia Boy, were having a most enjoyable hunt. At first he seemed inclined to sulk, but Ballinger the carter's whip being freely administered, awoke him to a sense of his danger — if not of his duty — causing him to put his best leg first, and event- ually to place two or three stiffish fences between him and his pursuers. The further the Boy went, the further the field were now left behind, and as the Benicia Boy passed through the orchard at the back of Mr. Tithemtight's rectory, the last of them left him, and he was only incommoded by farmer Badstock's cur. This he presently disposed of by a rush and a stamp of his foot, and then went trotting leisurely over the clean linen on Mrs. JVIartindale's drying-ground, from whence he passed into ^Ir. 292 Mil. FACET ROMFORD S HOUNDS. Ketlieringtou's nursery -garden, and had a dance among the winter-cabbages and Brussels sprouts. The sound of voices and of horses' hoofs on the stones now roused the inmates of the straw-house, drawing forth a joyous yell, and when Jack Eogers shot the bolt, every hound bounded out full cry, and spread in all directions. Bouncer made straight for the dairy, Rantipole rushed into the scullery, while Prodigal and Poulterer dived up to their ears in the pig-pail. " Get on, and blow your horn ! " now cried Romford, unused to such riotous proceedings, and dropping his whip-thong, he pro- ceeded to lay it into the offenders with hearty good will. Jack Eogers aided his endeavours, and by the time the fat boy appeared in front of Dall)erry Lees, he had as many hounds about him as- if he was making a cast. Unfortunately, however, Miss Watkins's Shetland pony was careering about the park, and certain anony- mous hounds, thinking, perhaps, he would do as well as the stag, proceeded to charge him with vigorous determination, while a few others broke away at a cow. Then the horn and whips were at work again ; the fat boy inflated his cheeks till they looked like bladder-balloons, and Eogers and Eomford raced round the re- spective detachments of deserters to whipcord them back, at which Willy AVatkins's horse denoted his delight by sundry squeaks and hounds in the air that nearly sent our friend over its head — " Oh, for Mr. StotfokVs weight to keep him down ! " thought Willy. The rule of Mr. Stotfold's hunt was for the Master to hunt the- hounds as long as he could, after which Mr. Eogers was at liberty to take them, and, both carrying horns, the arrangement answered very well, as Jack was always ready to face any place his master- declined, i^nd Jack, who was a bit of a courtier, always magnified his master's performance. " That Avas a most terrific jump you took into the Adderley Eoad, just below the windmill," he would say ; or ^' I never saw a man ride over a brook better than you did over Long Kitlington Burn — wouldn't have had it myself at no price ; " the said Burn, at its best being about three yards wide, with sound banks on each side. But let us pursue the Benicia Boy. There not being much chance of a scent where the preliminary hunt had taken place, the fat boy had nothing for it but to cast on till he came to virgin soil, and it Avas not until he neared farmer Badsfcock's fold-yard that the redoubtable Wideawake dropped his stump of a stern, and Wiseacre endorsing the move- ment with his tongue, the rest of the pack were good enough to take their opinions from him, and, gradually closing in, at length assumed somewhat the appearance of a pack. ''Hoo;p/'' screeched MB. FACEY KOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 293 Jack Rogers, clieering them on, as if it was the most brilliant move that ever was made. He inwardly hoped ]Mr. Romford saw it. The Benicia Boy, as was his wont, had taken a turn round the country before deciding which hue to adopt, astonishing sundry i-ountr}' folk by his appearance anion u' them. Old Tommy Cobnut cutting fern in Brambleton brake for bedding for his pig, young Johnny (looseman taking his colt to the shop, sundry girls playing at pitch-halfpenny ac the low corner of farmer Hoggin's field, instead of pulling turnips at the high one — all of whom stood -staring with their heads up, wondering whatever the Boy could be. One said he Avas a donkey, another that he was the devil, a third that he was a Kyloe. At length the notes of the horn, and the cheer of the hunters came wafted on the breeze, and first one pedestrian and then another telegraphed the line of the chace to our friends with their hats or their hoes or their arms. Jack Rogers now began to grin, for he saw the stag was going to run, and he thought Mr. Romford couldn't fail but to be highly delighted with the entertainment. Indeed, like Jawkins with Mrs. Somerville, he almost fancied Mr. Facey might tip him. " T-o-o-ld you so ! " exclaimed Jack, rising in his stirrups ; " t-o-o-ld you so ! " repeated he, pointing with his whip to where AVideawake was now leading, as usual. And Jack cheered the allied forces to the echo. Then, Invincible Jack and invincible Jowler, Invincible Tom and invincible Towler. all laid their heads together to assist in the grand consummation of the catch. The scent was now strong and good. They all seemed to. enjoy it : even the generally mute ones threw their tongues occasionally, and the skirters closed in for their share of the fun. So they raced along Galloway Lane, down Dinlington Hill (astonishing a gipsy camp at the turn), and, striking away across Castle Kennedy Common, made for the dewy vale of Horbury Heath beyond. This was one of the misnamed, or rather nature-changed, countries — like many commons, chases, and meres, which now present nothing of their original state ; and Horbury Heath, instead of being a wild, desolate track, frequented only by plovers and poachers, was a rich allu\'ial soil, with stout quickset fences and very wide, uncomfortable-looking ditches. Xow, the Benicia Boy was fond of leaping, and made for the thick of these impediments, bucking and bounding as if they were so many skijiping-ropes, to the siTeat discomfiture of manv of his followers. Here ^Ir. 294 MIL FAC:EY B03IF0BD\S HOUNDS. Willy AYatkins, having sorely scratched his face, declined any further distinction. At Brailsford Bank, however, the field was presently recruited by the appearance of our coatless friend, Independent Jimmy, who, having now got a young iron-grey in lieu of Mr. Hazey's old horse, thought to try if he could do anything in the hun'ting way. So, on meeting the stag bobbing along, he unharnessed the young horse from the melon frame, and "tying his aged companion up to a gate, was ready mounted, bare-backed, blinkers and all, when the tailing hounds came toiling up. " He's on,*' said .limmy, jerking his head the way he had gone, and on they went along the grassy siding of the road, which the Boy had run on, in preference to the hard. Mr. Rogers was now in command, the fat boy having fallen in arrear at some of the more formidable places, and his rough-actioned hoi'se, Hatter-his- heart-out, having worked him up into a considerable stew. So far the Benicia Boy had kept clear of the towns, and would most likely have continued that course if they had not come in his way ; but the pretty little village of Cherryford standing on rising ground, tem]Uingly diversified by green slopes and gardens, was too inviting for an enterprising stag to withstand. So, taking- the village diagonally, he ])assed through Mr. Collupton's flower- garden, over j\ir. Hojpkins's bleaching-field, into Pansey's nursery- ground, and from thence into a high beech-hedged sli^) of ground, interspersed with swings, hoops, and gymnasiums. This Avas neither more nor less than the playground at the back of Miss Birch's finishing and polishing seminary ; and, in all probability, the Benicia Boy would have passed quietly along the passage^ through the centre of the house — the vis-a-vis doors of which stood invitingly open — and so out on to the lawn in front, but for the wretched jingling notes of the old school piano, that parents buy so often over in the course of their children's educa- tion, causing him to stop and listen attentively, to hear whether it was his otd friends the hounds or not. Retreating a few steps, with a slight digression to the right, brought him in front of a plate-glass window, at which, after contemplating himself atten- tively^ he made a most deliberate dash, landing handsomely in the drawing-room, clearing the globes and a model of Vienna. What a crash and commotion was there I " Murder ! fliievcs I murder I " screeched Miss Birch, hurrying down from her bed-room. " Thieves ! murder J tliieves ! " roared the cook. " FolUs ! poll is I " squeaked the page, rushing frantically out the front way. But, before any extraneous assistance could arrive, the redoubt- MB. FAOi:Y ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 295 able Wideawake came bounding through the windoAV too : and the Benicia Boj, seeing his old enemv, rushed at the now open door, passing over the prostrate body of Miss Birch, and making along the passage for the front of the house, without waiting to read the beautiful rainbow-shaped blue and gold aJficJie, Miss Birch's Finisiiixg- and Polisiiixg Acadeiiy, exhibited con- spicuously in the garden, he cleared the iron rails at a bound, knocking off the hat of the pedestrian postman as he passed with the letters. The cook then having closed the drawiug-room door on Wideawake (who did not like again facing the window), the immediate progress of the chace was arrested. The cock-throppled chestnut having got into difficulties, Jack Eogers was glad to catch at a holloa, which lead him clear of the small enclosures around Cherryford village ; and now, getting his horn, he clapped forrard with his hounds, to lay them on at the windmill, where the view was just ^riven to the south. Here they hit upon a scent untarnished by Wideawake, who, Jack candidly admitted (in reply to Facey's uncomplimentary observation, that he ought to be hung), Avas " rather o'er swift o' foot for them that day ; " and Wiseacre led the long-drawn line with his accustomed vigorous energy. But Wideawake was the dog the Benicia Boy most dreaded, for he was in the habit of haunching him unawares ; whereas Wiseacre, like the filial Irishman who never kicked his father when he was down, always gave him timely notice of his coming. Still, Wideawake had his use, in keeping the stag going when he might otherwise be inclined to soil or to sulk. Being now pent up at Miss Birch's, the Boy soon found he hadn't him in his wake, and began taking things in the easy, leisurely sort of way that a crow takes a gamekeeper on a Sunday, or a fox trots away before a party of shooters on a week day. There the noble animal might be seen going like a galvanised donkey, now^ trotting, now bucking, now trotting again ; passing from pasture to fallow, and from fallow to wheat, in the open, undisguised way of a quadruped that is not afraid to be seen. He hasn't robbed a hen-roost, or run away with an old fat goose. He got his living- like a gentleman, not like one of those skulking marauders called foxes, who were continually attacking people's poultry, and committing petty larcenies of that sort. He was above such work ; could carry his head high — and high he did carry it. So on he went at a stilty trot as before. At length the Benicia Boy, having traversed some eight or nine miles of country, which at the old posting price of eighteen-pence a mile, and three-pence to the driver, would come to some fifteen shiUings and nine-pence, possibly bethought him he had done enough for his dinner, and, being no longer tormented by the 296 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. irapetuons Wideawake, began casting about in search of repose. He did not want to break any more windows, for he thought he liad scratched himself in the side at Miss Birch's, and would rather prefer a barn or an outhouse with some clean straw in it. 80 he skirted the side of Hackberry Hill — half field and half moor — staring complacently round the country in search of what he wanted. There was a church steeple in front, denoting a village, another to the left, with a third in the rear. The latter, however, wouldn't do, for he heard Jack's horn, with the occasional accompaniment of the hounds, — yoou, //oo(f, f/a/), yap, yooii, yooii, they went. Just at this moment the picturesque outline of Pipeington Tilery presented itself, stretching its long length half across a five-acre field, offering every accommodation, including a mud- bath, that an aristocratic stag could desire ; and thither our unantlered monarch decided on entrenching himself. So, sinking the hill, he struck boldly across country, not trying to take the tilery in the flank, but going right at the centre, spoiling as many green bricks as he could in passing over the drying ground. He then blol)bed down into the spacious mud bath between it and the tilery, and began swimming and cooling himself in its yellow waters. Great was the commotion the descent caused in the tilery. Tom Sparrow, the boy in charge of the pug-mill, who saw him coming, and thought it was (Jeordy Crosier's trespassing donkey, now stared as a hen stares when her ducklings take water. The moulders ceased their labours, the wheelers dropped their barrows, the clay-diggers their spades, and the firemen left their furnaces. It was confusion all and consternation. What the devil was it ? The cry of the hounds and the cheer of the hunters presently enlightened them ; and, looking to the left, they saw the gallant pack streaming down Hackberry Hill, closely followed by Rogers and Romford, and the man on the grey. " Sink it'll be a stag I " exclaimed one. " So it will ! " roared another. " That fat man's from the Nook," rejoined a third. " Keep him in ! keep him in ! " was now the cry, as the Benicia Boy struck out boldly for the tilery. Then they hooted and shooed him, and pelted him with clay. H the hounds tailed, so did the field ; and Rogers, Jimmy, and Romford alone rode with the pack. " He's taken soil ! " exclaimed Jack, now pointing with his whip to the tilery commotion, as Romford and he galloped down Hackberry Hill together. " Soil, is it '^ " said Romford, " it looks to me very like water." MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 297 "Oh, that's what we stao'-hiintLTS call soil,'' replied Jack, inducting Romford into the science. " Do Ton ? " rejoined Eomford, thinking they might as well call it by its right name. " For-rard I for-rard I '' cheered Jack, thinking that Romford cannot fail to be highly delighted with the performance. Jack then looks back for his master. And sure enough, on the now almost white-lathered Hatter-his- heart-out, comes the fat boy, puffing and blowing and looking very like a peony. He has indeed had a tremendous gallop, Hatter-his-heart-out having acted well up to his name, and nearly shaken him to pieces. Since our master, Mr. Stotfold, declined the dangerous in favour of Jack Rogers, he has had a good deal of rough fencing to contend with alone ; none of the leaders of the chace doing much for their followers in the way of breaking the fences, and the heterogeneous group who united their fortunes with his, expecting " red coat "' to do all for them. So he had nothing for it but to throw his magnanimous heart over each fence, and follow it as quickly as ever he could. And though Hatter-his-heart-out was a desperately rough galloper, he was a very smooth leaper ; measuring, however, his ground so closely, as always to make the fat boy think he was going to let him down, thus keeping him in a state of constant labour and excite- ment. Indeed but for the honour and credit of the thing, he should have preferred stopping before ; for though it was undoubtedly a good thing to get a good gallop, yet the operation might be over done, and the appetite injured instead of promoted. What he wanted Avas, to bring it home with a bloom upon it that would entitle him to oysters and porter and a substantial repast after. That he thought he had got before he came to the windmill, consequently all that had taken place since was what might be called work of supererogation. And now that he saw the prospect of a close, his flagging spirits rose within him, and getting Hatter-his-heart-out short by the head, he stood in his stin'ups giving a squeaking cheer to his followers as he pointed out the strange confusion in the vale below. He then made for the tilery as hard as ever he could. What a hubbub was there ! Clowns from all parts had turned up to the scene — clowns from the ploughs, clowns from the harrows, clowns from the hedges, just as the roughs turn up in London at the prospect of a row — Willy and Harry and Jackey and all. They thought the stag was going to be killed, and that they might come in for a slice. So they henmied the Benicia Boy in on all sides, determined he shouldn't get away, despite Squeakey's 298 MR. FACEY ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. urgent entreaties that they would let him land. Then the before- mentioned rope was produced from Mr. Stotf old's inner pocket, and Hatter-his-heart-out bemg resigned to a lad, our Master commenced lassoing the stag with clumsy dexterity. Now he Avas near him, now he was wide ; now he was near him again. At length he lassoed and landed him, amid the cheers of the populace. Instead, however, of sticking and skinning him as the countrymen expected, giving the head to Willy, the neck to Jackey, and the haunch to Harry, Mr. Stotfold began staring" about, squeaking for the carriage. He wanted the old gentlemen in green again. " Have you seen my fellow ? — have 3'ou seen my fellow ? '^ demanded he, running from party to party. " Have yon seen my fellow ? " asks he, rnshing up to Indepen- dent Jimmy, now standing by the side of the panting iron grey. "Nor, arm d — d if iver ar did,'' replied Jinnny, bursting into laughter. At length the carriage was seen stopping the way at the top of Cinderby Lane, and a man of the place was induced by the promise of a shilling to go and conduct it through the field to the tilery. The while it was jolting its way down the rutty road, nearly tilting old Solomon out of his seat, our fat friend cast about on foot fishing for compliments on the length and severity of the run. "Capital (puff) gallop," said he, cooling his cauUflower head by taking off his cap. "Excellent (gasp) run," continued he,, mopping his In-ow with a yellow Bandana. "Never saw the old (puff, gasp,) Benicia Boy in such (puff) before. Can't have come less than twenty miles— twenty (puff) miles in (puff') and twenty minutes. Then he approached ]\Ir. Ilomford, who he thought ought to have come to him. "Well, and what do you (puff) of it ? " asked he, still continu- ing the mop of his greatly perspiring brow. "Weil oi, ha-hem-haw, think it's just about the ha-hem-haw sport oi know," replied Mr. Eomford, adding " oive half a mind to set up a pack myself to hunt the same clay as the foxhounds, in order to draw oif the superfluous of the field." jind the fat l)oy, feeling the compliment, but fearing the consequences, blurted out in reply — • " Don't my (gasp) feller, I'll (puff) mine down Avhencver you (gasp)." And thereupon he tendered his fat hand to Romford, who con- cluded the bai'gain with a shake. The deer-carriage then came jolting down to the tilery, and a ME. FACEY EOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 2S1) feed of oats in front and a kick behind soon sent the Benicia Boy back into the place from -whence he came, amid the jeers and cheers of the popnlace. Just then the sound of lamentation arose Inu'h above the shouts and clamour of the crowd. It 'was Jack Kogers Ijewailiug the loss of his favourite hound, running about wringing his hands, asking if anyone had seen him. "■ Seen a yellow pied hound with a short tail — a yellow pied hound with a short tail ? "' But vre need scarcely say that nobody at the tilery has, for Miss Birch having kept the redoutable dog safe under lock and key until her strong job gardener came, he administered such a bastinadoeing as sent the old dog scampering home, with his short tail between his legs, as hard as ever he could. In vain, therefore. Jack whooped and halloaed, and twanged his horn. Xo "Wideawake came. " Oh, he'll cast up," at length squeaked Mr. Stotfold, getting tired of the wait. "He'll cast up," repeated he, making fur where Hatter-his-heart-out was still being led about by the boy. Then, getting the horse into a clay hole, he made a vigorous assault on the saddle, and, having settled himself in his seat, he chucked the lad a shilling, and drawing his thin reins, with a touch of the spur j)ut his thick horse in motion. The hunt was then up ; the disappointed chaws returned to their clays and their clods ; anxious Jack Rogers moved off with his hounds, still casting about for the lost one : and Mr. liomford was surprised to learn from Independent Jimmy that they were only fi-^'c or six miles from Dalberry Lees. "Ar'll show you the way," said Jimmy, jumping on to the bare- backed grey ; and taking a line of his own, irrespective of either gates or gaps, he proceeded to make his way across country. *' Ar think nout o' this stag-huntin','' observed Jimmy, running the grey at a great on-and-off bank, with a wide ditcli on each side. "Xor I," rejoined Mr. Eomford, following him. "When you've catched the stag, ye're ne better off than ye were afore," observed Jimmy. " Just so,*' said Romford. Jimmy then augled a wide pasture at a trot, and was presently contemplating a rough, bush-entwined, rail-mended-fence with a too obvious brook on the far side. Jimmy ran the grey at a rail, but, hitting it with its fire feet, it landed on its head, shooting Jimmy well over it. " Greate numl) beast ! " exclaimed Jimmy, jumping up and catching the horse as it rose. He then pulled the rail out for Romford. A few more fields brought them to where Jimmy had placed liis 300 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. second horse ; which now having reached, he prepared to resuscitate the nielon-framc, leaving Mi*. Romford to pursue his journey with- out him. "Ye can't miss yer way," said Jimmy, jerking his head in the direction of Dalberry Lees. " Ye can't miss yer way. Just keep axin for the biggest feuil in the country, and they'll be sure to send yer to Lees." So saying, he gave our master a nod, and turned away to the right. Mr. Romford then rode on, and having a good eye for country, soon took his bearings, and without troubling any of the country people with the inquiry Jimmy propounded, speedily found his way back to the glittering gates. Then having arrived at the house, he alighted at the front door and desired a footman to take the horse round to the stable ; which saved him an interview with Gullpicker, ]\Ir. "Watkins's Melton groom, whom nobody w^ould have at Melton. Then Miss met him, all radiant with smiles, so glad to see him safe back ; mamma was delighted to hear Mr. Romford say he was much amused with the hunt, and altogether she thought they had made a great hit in having the fat boy down. And out came the flute and the harp for " Bob Ridley." CHAPTER XLVn. MR. STANLEY STERLING. Mil. Facey Ro.MFORi) had now got ])retty well settled in his saddle in JJoubleimupshire. He had seen most of the great guns of the country : the AVatkinses and the teapot-handle man, and had now extended his acquaintance to the fat boy and the interest- ing family of the neighbouring master of hounds, Mr. Hazey. He had also established a nodding and"how-are-ye" acquaintance with the non-hunting Fuller, and Fowler, and Binks, and Brown, and Postle, and Hucklebridge, whom he prudently sir'd or mister'd in blank, instead of risking a shot at their names, and perhaps making a bad hit. There is nothing people dislike so much as being misnamed. The country, if not first-rate, was fairly sporting : good enough for those who lived in and knew it, and yet not good enough to tempt peripatetic sportsmen out of their ways, unless, indeed, they happened to have a billet with some one in it. This immunity from strangers was a great comfort to Mr. Romford, for some men are troubled Avith such a mania for pack-seeing, that there is no 3IB. FACI:Y ROMFOBD'S hounds. 301 saying but an inquisitive stranger might have strayed from the other Mr. Romford's, and instituted an invidious comparison be- tween our Master and him. Not that any one could take exception to our friend's liounds, or his horses, or his system of hunting; but they might have raised the question, Which was the right Romford ? — asserted, perhaps, that Facey was not the man who lived at Abbey held Park, which Avould have been very discouraging and difficult to gainsay. A master of hounds ought not to have his attention distracted by extraneous matter — especially a master hunting his own hounds, as our friend did. Like most countries, Doubleimupshire varied a good deal : some parts of it being good, some of it indifferent, and much of it bad. The low-lands were deep and boggy, with great false-bottomed drains, large enough to hold both horse and rider ; but, then,, these very drains contributed to the sound riding of the up-lands, they being, in fact, the receivers and conveyers of the superfluous water that fell. Then there were the Bentley Hills, over which hounds raced ; and the Heckington and Stanborough vales, where they dwelt, requiring all the Romford science and energy to get them along. Taking the country, however, as a whole, the soil was favourable to scent, as the staple of it was generally good. And Romford's hounds could solve the difficult problem, " AYhich way has he gone ? " in most parts of it. The best part of the country, undoubtedly, lies between Sher- vington Bridge and the town of Farmington Hill ; but, then, it was infested by game preservers, who were generally suspected of Dalberry Lees practices, with regard to the illicit jjroduction of foxes. Formerly, three fields out of every four in this part wero ploughed : but, since the repeal of the corn laws, the system has been reversed, and three fields are now in old grass or clover ley, for one that is under the plough. The enclosures, too, are large and roomy — twenty and thirty acres each, with not over and above strong fences ; but the land is deep and holding — or what !Mr. Otto Musk, the Leicestershire swell who got straggled there, once described as " flat, dirty, and unpleasant." Still, there were no fences mended with old wire-rope in it, and the brooks are generally fairly jumpable — at least, when not flooded. But we will indulge in a day in this the most favoured locality, and select a meet at Independent Jimmy's friend, Mr. Stanley Sterling's, he being about the ouly real sportsman on that side of the country. Mr. Sterling was a comfortable man, and was waited upon by a woman. After that, we need scarcely say he was a bachelor : for Avhere is the lady who will submit to be tended by one of her own sex, if she can possibly help it ? "Well, Mr. Stanley Sterling was 302 MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. a comfortable man, and was waited upon by a woman. He lived at a pretty, old-fashioned, gable-ended, grey-roofed place, called Kosemount Grange : where there was always a spare stall for a horse, and a hearty welcome for a friend. Moreover, there was generally a good wild fox to be found in his cover, Light-thorn- rough, at the back of the house, the next morning. Let us also suppose that ]\Ir. Facey Romford— lured, perhaps, by the fiime of ^h\ Stanley Sterling's nutty sherry, ruby port, and comfortable me/iaf/e generally — has come over to Rosemount to be handy for the meet on the morrow ; and that Mr. Freemaii, of Shenstone Burn, commonly called Old Saddlebags, and the clergy- man of the parish, form the parfi quarre, for the evening. Freeman, who is hard upon eighty years of age, has hunted all Ills life, and looks more like sixty than what he really is. He is a stout, square-built man, with silvery-white hair, shading an. ex- tremely rubicund face, with strongly marked lines, and whipcord- like muscles : a little, twinkling, grey eye, lights up an intelligent countenance. In marching order — that is to say, the day before hunting — Mr. Freeman travels in his red coat and other hunting things, having his horse-rug rolled up before him, and the aforesaid saddle- bags, containing his dress things, underneath him. Thus accoutred, he makes for the house of the nearest acquaintance he has to the meet, where Bags and his horse are always heartily welcome. Compared with the pyramids of luggage with which a modern exquisite travels, Saddlebags' wardrobe Avould seem strangely deficient ; ])ut Bags had lived in times when locomotion was difficult, and people had to think what they could do without, and not what they could do with — which, after all, is a great ingredient in travelling. And yet to see the old gentleman come down in his nice black dress-coat, frilled shirt, and clean vest — the latter vying the white- ness of his hair — with black shorts, silk stockings, and pumps, no one would suppose but he had come in his carriage, with a valet to boot. There he stands before Mr. Stanley Sterling's bright parlour-fire with a beech-log on the top, as radiant and sparkling as the fuel itself. There, too, is Mr. Romford, looking him over, thinking what a man he is for his years ; and now iu comes the Reverend Mr. Teacher, the vicar, and the party is complete. Mr. Stanley Sterling did not attempt side-dishes, but let his cook concentrate her talents upon a few general favourites. Hence, the ox-tail soup was always beautifully clear and hot, the crimped-cod and oyster-sauce excellent, while the boiled fowls and ruddy ham ran a close race with the four-year-old leg of roast mutton, leaving the relish they give for the "sweet or dry " MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUXDS. 503 to support their claims for preference. Beet and mealy potatoes accompanied the solids, and macaroni and mince-pies followed in due course. A bottle of Beaujolais circulated with the cheese. They had then all dined to their hearts' content. As Romford chucked his napkin in a sort of happy-go-lucky way over his left shoulder, he thought how much Letter it was than any of the grand spr2ads he had seen. Grace being said, the plate-warmer MARCHING ORDER. -was then taken from the fire, the horseshoe-table substituted, and each man prepared to make himself comfortable according to his own peculiar fashion. And as each succeeding glass of bright port wine circulated down Mr. Saddlebags' Test, the old man warmed with sporting recollections until he became a perfect chronicle of the chase. He seemed to remember every thing — when Mr. Princeps had the Hard and Sharps — when ^Ir. Tedbury had the Larkspur — when Sir Thomas Twyford had a third pack that hunted all the country 304 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. east of Horndeau Hut, and so across by Broad Halfpenny wood- lands to the toAvn of Cross Hands in Marshdale. Then he got upon the sul)ject of runs. That /^Y-mendous run from Trouble House to Wooton Wood, eighteen miles as the crow flies, when nobod}^ could get near the hounds for the last two miles save little Jim, the second whip, on a Pretender mare — the best animal that ever was foaled— no fence too large or day too long for her. Or that jiicfffm^cQut day from Scotgrove-hill to AYellingore, when some of the crack men of the Hot and Heavy Hunt Avere out, and they ran from scent to view in the middle of Heatherwick Moor, thirteen miles, without allowing for bends, — the finest men with the finest finish that ever was seen ! To all which Mr. Romford sat listening as he Avould to a lecture. Facey dearly loved to pick up such stories at tlie end of a ctinger. He kept weeding his chin till he almost made it sore. Dinner having been at six, at nine o'clock precisely — for fox- hunters are generally pretty punctual — Bridget the maid re-entered the room with the tea-tray, just as the second bottle of port was finished, thus putting a stop to the veteran's recitals and causing him to fall l)ack on the sherry. A game of whist followed tea, and Mr. 'J'cacher having taken his departure, Mr. Facey retired to his comfortable couch with five shillings more in his pocket than he brought. " Xot a bad night's work," muttered our Master, as he added a couple of shillings to it that he had of his own. He never gave house-servants anything, alleging that he could take care of himself, — nor stable ones either, if he thought his horses Avould fare as well without his doing so. CHAPTER XLYIII. :\nL STAXLEY sterling's fox. Bkeakfast at Eosemount Grange was conducted pretty much on the London Club principle, each guest having his separate menage, viz., two teapots, one containing the beverage, the other the hot water, a small glass basin of sugar, a ditto butter-boat and cream-ewer, together with a muffin or bun, and a rack of dry toast. A common coffee-pot occupied the centre of the round- table, flanked on the one side with a well-filled egg-stand, and on the other with a dish of beautiful moor-edge honey. On the side- table were hot meats and cold, with the well-made household bread. Hence, each man, on coming down, rang for his own MR. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 305 supply without reference to any one else — a gTeat convenience to foxhunters, who like riding leisurely on instead of going full tilt to cover. On this auspicious day, however, it was " all serene," as old Saddlebags said, the Master being in the house, and the hounds having to meet before the door ; so they dawdled and talked as people do who are not in a hurry and are sure of being in time. Mr. Eomford was the only one who felt any concern, but his was not the uneasiness caused by the fear of unpunctuality, but alarm lest the redoubtable servants should arrive in a state of inebriety. Lucy, however, had undertaken to see them safe away from Beldon Hall, and the strong persevering man, who bought Mr. Romford's horse, was charged to look after them on the road. And very creditably they both fulfilled their mission, for as our ]\Iaster was deeply absorbed in the dissection of a woodcock's leg, the click of a gate attracted his attention, and looking up he saw the gay cavalcade pass along the little bridge over the brook into the front field, in very creditable form — Swig sitting bolt upright on his horse, and Chowey preparing his succulent mouth for fawning operations on the field. The sight acted electrically on the party : Mr. Sterling finished his tea, Mr. Romford took the woodcock leg in his fingers, and old Bags quafiFed off his half-cup of coffee at a draught. They were then presently up and at the window. Bridget went out with the bread, cheese, and ale on a tray, while Mr. Sterling un- locked the cellaret, and produced cherry brandy and liquors for those who chose to partake of them. In came Bonus, and Dennis, and Bankford, and two or three other never-miss-a-chancers. Meanwhile our host and his guests are off to the stable, where the horses are turned round in the stalls all ready for a start. They mount and away, Romford on the Baker, late Placid Joe, Bags on his eighteen-years-old bay horse, still called the " colt," and Mr. Sterling on a five-year-old iron grey of his own breeding. Thus they come round to the front, to receive the '' sky scrapes " of the men, and the ** mornins " and "how are ye's ? " of the field. Then more horsemen came cantering up, and more went into tlie house. At length the time being up — say a quarter to eleven — and Mr. Facey making it a rule never to wait for unpunctual people, be their subscriptions ever so large, now gives a significant jerk of his head to Swig, which, communicating itself to Chowey, the two instantly have their horses by the head with the lively hounds bounding and frolicking forward the way the horses are going. The foot-people run and open the white gates, the parti- coloured cavalcade follow in long-drawn file, and the whole are loresently in front of Light-thorn-rougli — a cover so near the 306 MR. FACEY BOMFORIVS HOUNDS. house and jet so secluded, as almost to look like part of the premises. A deep triangular dell of some three acres in extent, abounding in blackthorn, gorse, broom, and fern, presenting in every part dry and most unexceptionable lying. The bridle-gate leading to it Tvas always kept locked, and there was no foot-road within three quarters of a mile of it. Here indeed a fox might repose. Some persons are always certain that covers will hold a fox — even though they may have been shooting in them the day before — and keep repeating and reiterating the assertion up to the very moment of testing its accuracy. " Sure to be there ! — sure to be there! Certain as if I saw^ him!" perhaps with a view of hiding their delinquency. Mr. Stanley Sterling was not one of the positive order. He knew the nature of his wild animal too well to be bail for his appearance. So in answer to numerous inquiries if they are likely to find, he merely says he "hopes so," and then takes up a quiet position for a view, a point from whence he can see without being seen himself. ''Cover hoick I — cover hoick ! " now cries Mr. Facey Romford^ and in an instant he has not a hound at his horse's heels. The " Hurl's " man, and the man with the mouth too, have deserted him, the former to take up a position by the beeches above, the latter to hide his ugly face in the dip of the dell. " Elcii in ihcre! — cleu in ! " cheers our Master, as Gamester and Woodbine take a flourish towards a slope of close-looking gorse. "Very likely place to hold a fox," observed he to himself, pulling a sample out of his beard and inspecting it. " Please, gentlemen, keep together ! and don't holloa ! " now cries he, looking round at the chatterers, — Mr. Bonus asking after Mrs. Hemming's horse, Mr. Daniel Dennis wondering if it w^as going to rain. He has got his best coat ou, and forgotten to look at his weathercock to see w^hether it is a safe venture or not. Like the Ashby Pasture gorse in Nimrod's celebrated Leicester- shire run, the cover soon begins to shake in various parts, the obvious effect of some twenty couple of hounds rummaging about it. The vibration increases with more activity towards the- jumper bushes in the centre of the cover. " Have at 'im there ! " cheers Mr. Romford, wdth a crack of his whip, as if to aAvake a sleeping fox from his trance. ''^Have at 'im there ! " repeats he, in a still louder key, now standing erect in his stirraps, contemplating the rich sea of bright undulating gorse. The vibration of the bushes increases, varied with the slight crackle from the snapping of rotten branches in the more open parts. " Fox, for a 'underd," muttered Mr. Romford, now button- ing the second top button of his "Tick," — "Fox, for a 'underd ! " repeats he, and scarcely are the words well out of his mouth ere- MB. FACEY EOMFOEirS HOUNDS. 307 the short sharp yap, ?jap, of Pincher the terrier is lollowed by the deep sonorous voice of old Thunderer proclaiming the tact. " Hoick to Thunderer ! hoick ! " cheers Mr. Romford, now stand- ino- on tip-toe in his stirrups, gazing intently on the scene, his ey?s raking every corner of the cover, like Daniel Forester s on dividend-dav. THCNDEKKR FIRST, RESOLUTE NEXT, ALL THE REST IN A LUMP. And now the melody increases -twofold, threefold, fourfold, fivefold, tenfold— now it's all melody together— '^ More nobly full and swellM with every mouth,"' as Soraerville— not our fair friend, but the poet— sings. "Kow," as Romford asks, "where are all your sorrows and your cares, ye gloomy souls ! or where your pams and aches, ye complaining ones ! One holloa will presently dispel them all. " Hark ! there it is I Talli-ho ! a-w-a-ay ! 1 alh-ho a-w-a-a-y— X 2 308 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. a-w-a-ay ! " The "away" stretched to the length of the rope- walk, 'it's Daniel, the Right Honourable the Hurl of Scamper- dale's Daniel, holloaing at the very top of his husky voice, each succeeding note becoming louder and better. And now little Tom Chavey unfurls at once his proboscis and his flail-like whip, and with repeated " Get away, hounds ! — get away ! " seconds the sporting-Mke twang of ^Ir. Romford's horn. Then what a scatter there is of the late combined forces. The late clustered phalanx is dissolved ; its component parts are flying here, there, and everywhere, each man looking after his own par- ticular leader, to whom he trusts for that knowledge of the country that his flurry effaces. Where's Jack ? Where's Joe ? Where's Tom ? Then Mr. Saddlebags rises greatly in public estimation, and whispers are heard among the uninitiated of " Stick to old Bags ! " • — " Follow Bags ! " — " Bags knows every inch of the country." And the Octogenarian gets the colt by the head and sHps out at a corner into the grass fields on the left of the cover. There he commands the pack as they break — Thunderer tirst. Resolute next, Prodigal third, all the rest in a lump. Thunderer strikes the scent by the side of the wall, Prodigal endorses his dictum, and the rest of the pack adopt the same. Away they go like beans. And just at the critical moment the Honorary Secretary, who is riding a bay runaway with a dead side to its mouth, which has passed through half the hands in the country, gets the Pelham bit between its teeth, and charges into the thick of them, knocking over Rosamond and Rallywood, and scattering the rest right and left. " Rot ye ! " roars Romford, flourishing his Avhip, as he bounds over the stone wall that separates them — " Rot ye ! what are ye after now ? C-o-r-n-found ye, you riband-dealer," adds he, as he gets up to him, " what brings yer out here ? " exclaiming with a scowl, as he passes on, "you should be condemned to shop with two old maids for a month ! " Then, as the astonished hounds get themselves scrambled up, and the pack gathered together, our Master caps them on to where a countryman is halloaing the line of the fox from a gate. " That's him ! — that's him ! " shouts the man, as Traveller and Trumpeter strike the scent just as the body of the pack come up, when, heads and tails being again united, and the scent first-rate, every hound settles to his fox, and away they go with the stream of the chase up at very high pressure. " Away ! — away ! " is the cry. The hounds seem to fly over the country like pigeons, now at Oakforth Green, now at Broadpool Banks, and anon at the wooden bridge over the Brent. Romford is with them ; Swig and Chowey not far olf ; and Stanley Sterling is a little on the left, MB. FACET BOMFORD'S HOUNDS, 309 each going on his own particular Hne. The Baker has had the benefit of two holding clayey fallows, and may now resume the taking name of Placid Joe, Avhile Mr. Sterling's fiye-year-old grey, after a few tail first presentations, begins to face his fences, and seems to enter into the spirit of the thing. He gathers courage as he goes. That is more, howeyer, than some of the field do, for Bonus and Brankford, and two or three others who started with the hounds thinking it was a case of plain sailing, begin to tail off as fences supersede field-gates, and occupation- roads run out into the priyacy of fold-yards. Then there is a grand diyergence either to the Corsenside Lane, down which Mr. Saddlebags' broad back may be seen hustling along in extremis^ or in the direction of Heathery Top, towards which Mr. Hubbock, the fat farmer, is gallantly leading. Either w'ay will bring them to Berrington Hill, for which, if the fox is not pointing, he " did ought to be." But the leaders are right ! Ah, yonder yokel, leaning on his plough-stilts, has seen him pass through the sheep on the netted-off turnips, sending the stupid muttons scampering- together in a crowd. Now they wheel about as if they are going to charge. Chaw halloas at the top of his voice, regardless ot the fact that the hounds are in as full cry as the racing nature of the pace will admit. " Hold your row ! " shouts Mr. Romford, brandishing his whip, but he might as well speak to the winds. The hounds, howeyer, heed him not, and bustle forward on the scent with lively intrepidity — now Liberty leading, now Lucifer, now Old Sports- man coming to the front with his unerring nose. A sheet could cover them. Facey eyes them, with pleasurable emotion, for he knows he has at least one man in the field who will appreciate their performance. " For-rard ! — For-rard ! thafs the way of him I " shrieks he, as they again stretch into telescopic point towards the head. " There they go for the Darby ! " shouts he. Now he takes a startling stone-wall, at which the Baker bounds so as to hit his rider's head against the branch of an impending ash and knocks his old hat right down over his nose. "Rot the beggar ! " exclaims Romford, spurring him across a rough fallow, extricating his head as he goes. He is now with the sheep and the chaw. "The hounds rather falter on the turnips from the stain of the former, and the latter would infallibly have exercised his lungs again, only Mr. Romford, keeping outside the nets, holds up his hand and enjoins him to silence, threatening to cram his whip down his throat. Old Sportsman applies himself dihgently to the dilemma, and presently pilots them on to pure ground beyond. 310 MU. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. " That's the way on 'im ! " cries Cha^Y, unable to contain his delight. *' Oi know it," retorts Eomford, digging his spurs freely into the Baker. The hounds snatch themselves into progression, and away they strive as before, — Liberty leading, with liucifer and Lavender contending for places. They are all of this year's entry — or rather stealing — and he coulcln't have had better if he'd bought them. " What's the use o' botherin' and brcedin' and buying'," thinks Facey, eyeing them, " if ye can have such as these for axin' for ? For-rard ! " cheers he, '' for-rard I " as Benedict and Brilliant now press to the front. " For-rard, all on ye ! Wouldn't take a hatful o' money for ye ! " adds he, now sousing himself luxuriously into his capacious saddle. The Baker and he have fairly settled the moot question which is master, and go quite amicably together. Meanwhile the McAdamites and riders to points poured on in their respective pilgrimages, each hoping to jump with the hounds at some convenient point or other of the now prosperous chase, and be able to say they were well up at Howell Burn, or close to the hounds down Dovecot Lane. This independent customer of a fox, however, we are sorry to say, did not conform to the long established custom of the country, and instead of crossing Fairy clough Fields, through AYiuforth Kig, and out at the back of ]\Ir. Heavy crop's farm at Milkhope, which would have joined Saddlebags' tail at Monkridge side-bar and Hubbock's a little farther on, with head in air and distended brush, he took over the fine grassy moorland country, straight for Roughfield Hill, some three miles to the north ; and the farther Bags and Hubbock went, the farther they got apart from the pack. At lengtli, pulling up on Marygate Green, Mr. Saddlebags, shading the sun from his eyes, sees the last of the field disapjiear- ing over the brow of Ravensdoune Hill, each individual horseman looking about the size of a marble. '' Bad job," muttered the old man, pulling the colt short round, amid the " Which way-ings ? " the " Oh dear-ings ! " and " What a bore-ings ! " of his followers. A pilot, like a prophet, never gets thanked. If he rides his tail right, they take the credit of it themselves ; if wTong, then they bloAv him up sky high. " Bad job," muttered old Bags, putting the colt at a stiffish, newly-switched fence. '• Come up ! " exclaimed he, spurring him freely, as the old horse winced and intimated his objection to the thorns. Then, perhaps thinking the fence the lesser evil of the two, he just bucked himself over into the next field. Bags then ME. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 311 saw liis line, and set off as bard as ever his horse could lay legs to the ground. Some follow, some say he is an old fool, and pull up, having had enough of the fray. Hubbock then takes another line, sorely pressed by his partisans. Meanwhile, without the slightest regard to the ease or con- venience of his followers, this truly game fox proceeds at the most punishing pace through the open-bottomed fir woods of Brakeuside Law, without dwelling a moment, and onwards, still pointing north, up a portion of Kidland Hill, from whence a commanding view of the surrounding country is obtained. Here, having apparently surveyed the '• Strange confusion in the vale below," heard the distant cry of the hounds, the cheer of the hunters, and taken his bearings, he had apparently come to the conclusion that he would be safer in a country that he knew than in taking a turn over the other side of the hill on which he now stood. True, he had been there once or twice on predatory excursions ; but when a fox is encumbered with an old fat hen or a goose on his back, he hasn't time to pick his Avay to the best advantage. 80 our friend thought he wouldn't venture any further that way. And being a fox of a good deal of decision and much firmness of purpose, he immediately turned his head to the west, and, running along a convenient sheep track, had a fine panoramic view of the trouble they were taking to catch him, — the clamorous hounds still pressing on in a cluster, ^Ir. Romford yoicking and cheering them, Mr. Stanley Sterling, in close attendance on Komford, Daniel Swig and Chowey riding side by side, and two or three horsemen — one in scarlet, two in dark clothes — labouring and sorrowing after them, iuAvardly Avishing the hounds would throw up. Enough is as good as a feast, thought they. Then along a sandy streak, denoting the township road between "\Yandon and Ratchford, might have been seen, if he had not been in too great a hurry to look, the broad black back of j\[r. Hubbock, leading the variegated j^osse comitatus ; while the fortunate Bags creeps up with his cohort along the more favourable line of Woodridge and Stobfield House. But a southerly wind wafts the melody of the hounds stronger and fresher than our friend likes to hear it, and not wishing to give his pursuers the unnecessary trouble of eating him, he casts the country quickly through his mind, and resolves to be indebted to his old friend, the badger at Brockholes, for shelter and hospi- tality. So, stealing quietly down the hill, and crossing the Bcwer- shield Road unseen, he runs the *' flat, dirty, and unpleasant " plain, with its liolding drains and deep ravines. Then, having 312 MR. FACET BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. exhausted its conveniences, he creeps over the marshes to Ewesley, and at the back of the " Punch Bowl " at Newfold. So he makes a wide circle of Birdshope, skirting the tempting glades of Rosserton Wood, which, however, he is too hot to enter ; and, skirting its eastern corner, he comes in sight of his projected point, the badger's burrow at Brockholes. If the badger is at home, he may have a fight for the berth ; but still that is infinitely preferable to being dis-brushed, dismem- bered, and ivlio-hoop'd by Mr. Facey Romford and his curs. So, putting his best leg first— and he had four uncommonly good ones — he tottled away in right energetic earnest, stopping occasionally as he reached rising ground to listen what was going on behind. At first he thinks "• all is serene," then that he hears the noisy wretches far behind, next that they are coming his way, and finally, that he had better be going. So away he trots as before. And at a good, steady, holding pace, never fatiguing himself, but husbanding his strength, lest he should either have to fight at the door or pass on in search of repose. He presently reaches the sandy, oak-root-entwined entrance at the high point of Thristleton Wood, where, with right foot erect, he pauses for an instant and listens, to be quite sure that the hounds are coming. He thinks not. All is still. They have apparently had enough of it. Kot the first time he has beaten a pack of hounds. Yet hark ! Yap^ yap, yoiigh, yough I — For-rard ! for-rard ! there they are again. .Confound their pertinacity I how they stick to a fellow's tail. What a shame ! Forty great hounds setting upon one fox. But it was no time for moralising ; so, being at the mouth of the badger's earth, he just popped in, taking his chance of a fight at the door. Fortunately for our fox, the badger was a great fat plethoric animal, fond of ease and good living, and having several chambers to his burrow, he had laid up in an inner one, so that our friend had nothing to do but pop into an unoccupied room near the entrance. He was an unsociable badger, and seldom saw company. And scarcely had our fox got himself suited, than the loud baying of a hound filled the whole cavern with noise, causing the badger to growl and plant his great head at his bedroom door for self- defence. And farther withdrawn, but still most uncomfortably near, arose the general clamour of the pack, the Avhole now crowned with stentorian yells of " Who — hoop ! " and " who- hoop ! " It was the voice of old Romford, backed by those of Chowey and Swig, and the badger, being now fully alive to his situation, makes a vigorous dash at the intruder in his entrance hall, and sends Ringwood yelping and yammering out to his comrades. MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 313 Then there was a council of war what to do, some wanting the fox dug, others " let alone," in the course of which :\Ir. Romford's opinion was loudly appealed to. " He's a rare good un," exclaimed Mr. Stanley Sterhng, anxious for his preservation. . " Is that ! " gasped the chairman of the Half-Guinea Hat Company. "he just pupped IX — AT HOME!" '' Dig him ! dig him ! by all means," shouted several. "Take an hour to do it*" observed Mr. Hubbock : this is the badger's burrow, and it branches out in all directions— reaches frora here to Con-stan-tinople." " Oh, blood your hounds, by all means ! " exclaimed Bonus : adding, "they richlv deserve their fox." " Blood 'em another day," muttered Mr. Romford—" blood 'em another day with a bad un. Doesn't do to be prodigal of good uns." So saying, Avith a " Cop, come away !— cop, come away ! " 314 MB. FACET BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. to his baying hounds, he proceeded to reclaim the now panting tail-quivering Baker. Then the appraisers began to estimate the ]"un — time, distance, ditches, difficulties generaUy. One said it was one thing, another another, but they all agreed that it was extremely quick, and the fences terrible. A man who could ride over that country, could ride over any. " An hour and seven minutes, 'zactly," observed Chowey, the timekeeper of the hunt, putting on ten minutes for good measure. " Without a single real check, only two hesitations of about a- minute each," oljserved Mr. Romford. " Far the best to save h'm," observed Mr. Sterling, quietly ; *' far the best to save him — give us a good run another day." " So it is," replied Mr. liomford ; "so it is. Good foxes are becomin' very scarce — far too many Leadenhallers astir. Xow, where shall we go for another draw ? " asked he, thinking to try their mettle, not that he really meant to draw. " Oh, done enough ! done enough ! " exclaimed several. " Leave well alone — leave well alone — capital day's sport— horses done enough — hounds done enough — all done enough." " Well, then, which is my shortest way home ? " demanded Mr. Romford, mounting his horse and casting about for a landmark. " Can't do better than retui'n with me," said ~My. Stanley Sterling, " and take a snack as you pass." " Thank'e, I've got a captin i' my pocket," replied our Master, producing a great ship biscuit as lie spoke : adding, " but are we still in Boubleimupshire ? " " Quite the extremity of it," replied Mr. Sterling, " (juite the extremity of it. Close to what they call No Man's Land." " 'No man's stop either, oi s'pose," muttered our Master, thinking of the fox having got to ground in his country, " Now, then," continued he to Chowey, who was trying to in- sinuate himself into Mr. Saddlebags' pocket, under pretence of a former acquaintanceship — " Now, then, let's be going." So saying, there was a general sweep of the hounds, and horses' heads were turned to the south. " I'll show you the short way through the fields, if you'll allow me now," said Mr. Sterling, putting himself a little in advance of the pack. " Please," said Mr. Romford, Avho liked soft riding. Mr. Sterling then proceeded to pilot him along Buttercup Pasture, through Farmer Rickstone's fold-yard, up Bushblades Banks to the " Good Intent " inn, on the Woodberry Down Road. From thence an extensive ^'iew of the neighbouring country is MR. FACEY EOMFORD'S HOUNDS. 315 obtained ; Dozey Cathedral one way, Downley Castle another, RitlinsTton Clump a third. . •' Xmv," said ^Ir. Sterling, pulling up short ^iV^l^f^J^^^i'^f ^^^S'^^^- Romford—" Now, your way is along this Holly Hill Road to Har- pertown— there, yon see the steeple straight before yon ; then ask your way to the ' Fox and Hounds' at ]\[owlesley, and Mr. Gallon the landlord, will direct yon to Fleckney, from whence you will have no difficulty in finding your way to Beldon Hall So now I'll bid you good day," continued Mr. Sterling, taking off his doe- skin slove and tendering his hand to our Master ; adding, 1 11 l)e o-lad to see you at my place oyernight the next time yon come to draw my coyer ; " adding, " we'll haye that badger burrow lired, or made safe somehow." , -, ., ^-u i "Thank ye," said ^Ir. Romford, joining hands— ^' thank ye ; addino-, ^' I'll beat up your quarters, and well see ^if we can t pre- vent iiis gettin' to Constantinople another time. So saying tne liorses' heads diverged, under sky-scraping salutes from Chowey and Swio-, Chowey telling Swig, as he unfurled his mouth with a grin, that, if he wasn't mistaken, he had seen that ere gent m Snoreraboremshire. , . , They then proceeded with a greatly reduced cayalcade, which kept further diminishing by withdrawals at various way-side houses At leno-th ^Ir. Romford and his men had the road to themselyes, and^our Master conned over the run as he ;^'ent, thinking with delight of the performance of the pack H t^iey were not the best in England, they were not far off, he thought. And the badger presently looking out of his door, and seeing the coast clear, retired with a grunt to his bedroom, thinking what a punishment he had giyen the intruder ; while the fox, taking a quiet survey from the door, also trotted leisurely off without saying *^ o-ood morning," or thanking his host for his hospitality And tlfe fox slept that night at Rockwood Law, the next at i^ower- •^hield, and returned in due time to his old quarters m Light- thorn-rouo-h. He didn't see any he liked better, and found that all places were more or less liable to be disturbed ; Light-thorn- rough, perhaps, as little as any. So he again adopted it tor better or for worse, as the saying is. 316 MR. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. CHAPTER XLIX. MISS BETSY SHANNONS. — MR. ROMFOED AT HOME. HE mention of mince-pies in a previous chapter will have pre- pared the reader for the near ap- proach of Christ- mas : that fes- tive season, when children come smiling- home, with long bills in their boxes to lengthen their parents' faces ; Avhen unexpected and most-won- . derfully - length- ened accounts '■ come pouring in apace, and enter- prising Ticks and wiNTER-TiMK. n c V c r-d u n n in g- milliners — dis- carding the ])ersifiagc of patronage — demand their money " on or before Saturday next," with an urgency that looks very like a near approach to bankruptcy or the workhouse. Christmas Avas coming ! The interchange of cupboard love was about to take place ! Oyster-barrels rose pyramidically on the counters, for transmission to the country ; and cock pheasants and hares went wandering- about on their first and final visit to the capital, seeking for the parties to whom they were directed. Day and night became pretty much as one, and the denizens of darkness long for the light of the shires. This laudable yearning was largely partaken in by our before- mentioned friend, Miss Betsey Shannon, who not only sighed for the sight of " Fresh fields and pastures new," MB. FACEY ItOMFORD'S HOUNDS, 317 but lono-ed to see how her old friend, Lucy G Utters— afterwards Mrs Spono-e— now acted the part of Mrs. Somerville m the provinces. ° And as she had been useful to Mrs. Somerville, as well in ri"-o-ino- out her footmen as in a variety of other ways, and,^ moreoverrknew that Lucy was not the woman to ask her down it she did not want to have her, Miss Shannon now wrote to say that if it Avould be convenient to Mr. Romford and herself, she would be o-lad to pay them a visit at Beldon Hall. Then, as good luck would have it, the larder being- pretty full, and the sport with the hounds first-rate, and Facey— perhaps, wantmg some one to keep Lucy quiet when he went on his fluting excursions to Dal- berry Lees, readily assented ; and Lucy wrote back that they would be delighted to see Betsey down whenever she liked to come. But she said that, as they were now doing high life alto- gether, it would be well to abandon the name of Shannon, and Sdopt that of Miss Hamilton Howard for the occasion ; adding, that if she wanted any clothes to support the character, she would be o-lad to let her have some, as, thanks to the credit of her friend, sheVas very well found— better, indeed, than ever she had been before. . , . , \nd as Miss Shannon is now going to play a more prominent part in our story than the mere livery-hunter and commission agent of London, we will here introduce her more fully to the Miss Shannon was now just turned five-and-twenty, her birth- day being on the 1st of December, though she looked almost youno-er— an extremely healthy constitution and active habits enabling her to withstand the united effects of bad air and rouge. She had long been attached to the minor theatres and City places of pubhc entertainment, where her broad, dashing style ot pleasantry procured her many admirers among the counter- skippers and " elegant extracts " of those regions. \ltoo-ether sheVas a most attractive little woman, almost a sort of red-and-white edition of our friend, Mrs. Somerville. AVhat with her acting, her singing, her dancing, and modelling, she manao-ed to eke out a comfortable livelihood, and pay ten shillings a'' week for her second-floor lodgings in Hornsey Road, IsHngton. , -, .. -u- i AVell, Betsey was delighted when she got Lucy s letter, which she did after cutting her way home through a dense yellow fog from Highburv Barn ; and she jumped and danced about the room with such emphasis, that she awoke a most respectable clerk in a no less establishment than the Bank of England itself, who thought the house was on fire, and rushed to the first-floor or drawing-room window, calling frantically for an " escape. 31^ MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S MOUNDS, Having arrang-ed matters, as well with the manager at High- bury Barn as with the proprietor of the Sir John Barleycorii Music and Dancing Saloon in Whitechapel, she presently left London, with three sovereigns in her pocket, and as light a heart in her bosom as ever accompanied fair lady into the country. And as the snorting engine swept the train out of town — passing from streets to crescents, from crescents to semi-deatched vihas, and from semi-detached villas to the magnificence of real ones, disclosing as it went real fields, real cows, real sheep, real barns, real everything, — her spirits rose to exuberance, and she thought she would never come back ; she would rather be a dairy-maid in the, country, than have to dance for her dinner in town. And as she j)assed from station to station, her feelings became fortified in that line. The country was the place for her. At length, after repeated stops, hisses, and starts, our fair friend found herself before a station that, somehow or other, she thought she had heard of before ; and diving into her lavender- coloured kid glove, she produced a little yellow-and-white striped ticket, bearing the duphcate of the name, Firfield^ — " London to Firfield " — upon it. " Oh, guard ! porter I here ! let me out ! " cried she, protrud- ing half her person through the window ; let me out." And forthwith a sturdy porter was at the door comj^lying with her request. " Xoo then I where are ye for ? " demanded a coatless, pillar- post-shaped man, with a pig- jobber-like whip in his right hand. " Xoo then ! where are ye for ? " It was Independent Jimmy asking Miss Howard where she was going. " Beldon Hall," replied our friend in a clear, musical voice. It was lucky that our friends at Beldon Hall had the prudence to get Miss Shannon to change her name to something more aristocratic, for if she had gone into Doubleimupshire under her proper patronymic, she would never have been noticed, and might very likely have damaged the whole Beldon Hall concern. " Betsey Shannon ! What a name ! " people would have said. *' What sort of people can those Romfords be, to associate with such a person." Then her manners, though not offensive, Avere rather forward, j)articularly with gentlemen ; and altogether she required a little toning down. This, then, she had in the much- coveted name of Howard ; for what would have been downright vulgarity in a Shannon, became the easy manners of high life with a Howard. And as people are not easily stopped if they want a thing — the standing orders of society being quite as capable of suspension as MR. FACEY BOMFOBirS HOUNDS. 31?) those of the Houses of Parliament — so the fact of Mrs. Somerville not having returned any one's call did not at all prevent the same parties coming again to pay their respects to ^iiss Howard. Facey, we may observe, kept the gravelled ring before the front- door well raked, and could tell at a glance when there had been callers — carriage callers or equestrian callers ; but as he could not control ]\riss Howard's movements, he laid it down as an invari- able rule that callers should have nothing but sherry and ship- biscuits when they came. Sherry and ship-ljiscuits, he said, were- delicacies enough for anybody. He had no intention of having his dinner ate up at luncheon time by a party of ravenous callers. And sherry and ship-biscuits being more than our Master allowed at first, the ladies presently improved upon his liberality by getting Mrs. Mustard lo make a currant-cake as well. Then, at the gentle tinkle of the bell, old Balsam used to appear in his gaudy livery, bearing a fine silver salver studded with beautiful crystal and china accompaniments, making altogether a most respectable appearance. And as the ship-biscuits did not percep- tibly diminish, and Mr. Eomford cared little about the sherry — Lord Lovetin finding that — he gradually became reconciled to the ringing of his bell and the dirtying of his door-steps, so long as. he himself was not personally intruded upon. Moveover, he was out hunting when the great runs upon the house took place ; and the ladies having found out the trick about the gravel, generally had it raked before he came home. And Mrs. Somerville being a good judge as to who were in earnest and who were philanderers, very soon saw that young Joe Large was very favourably disposed towards our auburn-haired friend, and therefore judiciously left them alone while she herself went about her domestic affairs, or peeped through the keyhole at them, as the case might be. Still the boy Avas slow, being constantly cautioned by his- mother to beware of the ladies, who, she said, had very little conscience in love aifairs, and though he came pretty often, still Betsey could not report much progress. Dinners Mr. Romford would not hear of, indeed they felt conscious they could not give them ; but they both thought if they could have a little evening- party, at which they could appear in ball dresses, it would be very delightful, and might either secure Large or spread the net wider to catch others. Ladies generally think if they can only show^ themselves in costly costume, that they will be sure to captivate the men, though they are quite mistaken in the matter. How- ever, let that pass. Well, the ladies both thought it would be uncommonly nice to have a little party. Oh dear, it would be so nice to have a Uttle 320 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. evening party. So easily done, too — such a charming house, such beautiful rooms, such nice losing-places. If only Mr. Romford could be managed — oh dear, if they could only manage Mr. Romford. And, as good luck Avould have it, the chance soon came. Mr. Romford's hounds had had an uncommon run from Hoyland Hill, killing in the open in Mr. Hazey's country, with only Mr. Stanley Sterling, himself, and Daniel Swig, up, the nutmeg grey having taken a violent fancy to scrubbing Chowey's leg against a carrier's cart, instead of pursuing the pleasures of the chase, making the man with the mouth vociferate vehemently. Then Eacey, having made a sumptuous dinner off toad-in-the-hole and toasted cheese, proceeded to review the run, with a glass of gin and a pipe of tobacco, from the luxurious depths of an easy-chair, breaking out every now and then in ecstacies at the performance of some of the pack as satisfied Lucy that he was very well pleased with all he had done. Then she looked at Betsey, and Betsey looked at Facey, and, seeing his humour, Betsey arose, and going to the piano began to play his favourite air, *' Jump Jim Crow." Facey was delighted : " Jim Crow " and " Old Bob Ridley " he looked upon as the two finest efforts of the imagina- tion, and after Miss Shannon had played " Crow " over to him three times, he went for his flute and proceeded to accompany her. Then came the " leperous distilment " as per previous arrange- ment between Lucy and Betsey. " How nice it would be to have a little music here some even- ing," observed Miss Shannon, sipping her sherry negus. " Wouldn't it ! " exclaimed Lucy, as though the idea had just struck her. " Such a nice house, and so well adapted for a thing of the sort," continued Betsey. "Well, but we've had a little music," observed Facey, scrutinis- ing them attentively ; adding, " what more would you have ? " *' Oh, yes, we have had music, very nice music," replied Miss Shannon, gaily, "but rather in a selfish sort of way, you know ; what I meant was, to let other people hear us — ' Mrs. Somerville at home,' or something of that sort, you knoAV." " ' Mrs. Somerville at home,' " repeated Facey — " what docs that mean ? Why, you're ahvays at home, ain't you, when you're not out, ain't ye ? " " Oh, yes, but it doesn't mean that," rejoined Lucy. " It means at home to receive visitors. It means dressing up ; but then there's no occasion for you to do so. You needn't dress up unless you like." MR. FACET BOMFOED'S HOUNDS. 321 "Humph ! " mused Fjicey, resumiug his pipe, to consider how that would act. " WeU, but is it a cock-aud-hen chib ? I mean, are gentlemen asked as well as ladies, or is it only a lady party ? "'* *' Oh, certainly, a few men, — couldn't have a party without them, you know." " And do ye give them anything ? " asked he. " Oh, just a little tea and coffee," replied Lucy. *' Tea and coffee," repeated Facey, thinking that would not do much for him. " P'r'aps a sandwich and a glass of sherry before they go away," added she. "Sandwich and a glass of sherry," muttered Facey — "sand- wiches and a glass of sherry," repeated he, thinking the latter would not cost anything. " Might have a rabbit-poie and a cheese," suggested he, thinking they would be cheaper than ham- sandwiches. " Oh, but people don't eat cheese of an evening," replied Lucy — "only light things — confectionery, and such like." " Humph ! gcod things at any time, I think," replied Eomford, who was a great man for cheese — good, stiff, leathery sort of stuff he used to indulge in, too. " And what do you do then ? " asked he. " Oh, just iook'at each other and talk— ask Mrs. Brown if she's seen Mrs. Green, or Mr. Black if he's heard from Mr. White lately." " 'What next ? " asked Mr. Eomford. " Oh, well then, when you've got a good boiling you begin to let them simmer off to cards or something. Perhaps the best way will be to begin with a little music— Mr. Romford and you can open with ' Old Bob Ridley,' or any other tune ; then you, Betsey, can accompany yourself on the guitar, after which we could begin to pair people off to play and sing together, or let them wander about the house and do as they like." " Don't let them go into my bed-room ! " exclaimed Facey, who had no fancy for having his valuable wardrobe or expensive toilette table exposed. " Oh, no, lock the door," replied Lucy — " lock the door— lock all places up that we don't mean them to go into." " And you're sure they won't make me make a speech, or any- thing of that sort ? " inquired Facey, anxiously. "Oh, no," replied Lucy, " nothing of that'sort— quite a free- and-easy — a ladies' entertainment, in short. The master of the house may wander about just as if he were one of the guests." " Well, then, oi'll wander off to bed," said Facey, rising and lighting himself a candle, observing to Lucy, as he shook hands 322 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. with her, " oi think you'd better consider about the rabbit-poie and the cheese — come cheaper than ham, oi'm sure." So saying, he rolled out of the room. And as the door closed, and his slip- shod feet were heard retreating- along the passage, the ladies rose from their chairs, clapping their hands and jumping for joy at the idea of having an " At Home." They were perfectly astonished at their own success. Never thought our Master would come in so easily. They little thought how much he was influenced by the idea of the fair lisper at Dalberry Lees forming one of the little musical party. The ladies then thought they had better clench the consent by sending out a few invitations ; and opening a pack of "at home" cards that they had providentially had engraved and sent down by book-post from London, they commenced filhng in the names — ^' Mrs. Somerville, "AT HOME," " Tuesday the iWi, Nine o'ClocTc, " Beldon Hall, '' R. S. Y. p." • — to tlie extent of some ten or a dozen, which they enclosed in superfine envelopes, sealed with the " Turbot-on-its-tail " seal, and told Dirtiest of the Dirty to take them to the lodge to meet the pedestrian postman in the morning. This done, they retired to rest, Betsey dreaming that she brought young Large to book before they had got half through the evening, when other gentlemen came pouring in apace, until she was perfectly overwhelmed with offers. Mrs. Somerville, too, having then recently received a copy of Crow's " Illustrated Manual of Mourning Fashion," dreamt that she was so captivating in a Clotilde tulle evening dress, with its diamond-shaped bouillons, crossed with straps of satin, that she wrote off and ordered one the next morning without further to-do, and also a rich Zingaree Lyons velvet cloak for Miss Hamilton Howard, both, of course, to be sent to the care of the Right Honourable Lord Viscount Lovetin, Beldon Hall, Double- imupshire. MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 323 CHAPTER L. MR. FIZZER, COXFECTIONER TO THE QUEEN. 'confectioner to the queen. IT was a good arrangement of Mrs. Somer- ville's pitching her party to the key-note of an " At home," they are at once such elastic and compres- sible enter- tainments. If nobody came, she was still "At home;" if half the county came, she was there also. An "At home" may mean any thing— any thing except a dinner. It may be merely a conjuror, it may be a magic lantern, it may be tea and turn out, it may be tea and Terpsichore, it may be a carpet dance, it may be a quiet evening and a little music, or it may be a ball and supper. It pledges itself to nothing. Still, it has this incon- venience, that unless an auswer is specifically requested through the medium of those talismanic letters " R. S. Y. P.," half the recipients of cards don't answer them, thinking it just a sort of open thing to be gone to or not as they feel inclined on the evening of the day. The absence of the letters is rather indicative of its not making much matter whether the guest comes or not. Mrs. SomerviUe, therefore, obviated this by having the "P. S. Y. P." on her invitations, which, coupled with the novelty of anything being •given at Beldon Hall, caused a great sensation throughout the .country. There was no fear of any refusals, or of the invitations not being responded to. There was no hunting m Burke or Hart's Army List, to see who Mrs. SomerviUe was— everything was taken for granted. As soon as the first surprise had subsided, .the note-paper was produced, and the answers becomingly arranged. 324 MR, FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Lai^o^e, and Mr. J. Bolinf^broke Large, had the honour of accepting Mrs. Somerville's polite invitntion, &c. Mr. and Mrs. Hazey, Miss Hazey, and Mr. William Hazey, had much pleasure, &c., Miss Hazey thinking the party was made for her. Mr. and Mrs. Watkins, and Miss Watkins, had great pleasure, &c., Miss nothing doubting that the party was made for her. Others followed quickly, the Blantons, the Pyefinches, the Cramberledges, the Ellerbys, the Baker-Bensons, the Brogdales, the Bigmores, all coming, and some asking to be allowed to brings friends, Mrs. Dust pleading for a nephew, Mrs. Lolly asking for the addition of a lady. Then out went more cards, and more cards still, in such numbers that if Mrs. Somerville had not done old Ten-and-a-half-per-Cent. out of a hundred pounds' worth of shares in the Half-Guinea Hat Company, the outlay for postage stamps would have been rather inconvenient. Then came the- consideration of feeding the multitude. Old Dirty could roast and boil, but as to anything like orna- mental dishes, still less confectionery, it was wholly and totally out of the question. She candidly said she couldn't do it. She,, however, half solved the difficulty by suggesting that her friend Mrs. Carraway,-the confectioner of Hardingford, could be had over for a few days, who would be able to set out a supper fit for a prince to partake of. "That old thing," said Betsey to Mrs. Somerville, "may be all very well in her way, but I should doubt very much her being- able to set out anything superior, and in all probability she will charge you quite as much for a tenth-rate thing as a good confectioner would for a first ; so why not have a first-rate one^ and enjoy the credit of it ? " "Well," replied Mrs. Somerville, "there's something in that ; only," added she, after a pause, " where is one to get the superior article ? " "London, to be sure," rejoined Betsey; "London's the place to get everything. Get lions, tigers, unicorns, elephants, temples,, pagodas, palaces, — all the skill and beauty of the most practised hands in each department of the sugary art." "Ah, but how about Mr. Romford ?'" sighed Mrs. Somerville. " Ah, Mr. Romford, indeed ! " ejaculated Betsey, recollecting his rabbit-pie-and-cheese proposal. " Well, that is a difficulty," added she. " Couldn't make him believe that old Dirty had made them, could we ? " asked she, after a pause. " Oh, no ; he's far too sharp for that," rephed Mrs. Somerville. " Knows every ounce of everything that comes into the house, and everything that goes out of it, too. One would thing he had MB. FACEY liOMFORB'S HOUXDS. 325 nothing a year, paid quarterly, instead of thirty thousand from land, and I don't know what from other sources." " You don't say so I " exclaimed Betsey, who hadn't heard of such money. " Well, but if it didn'c cost him anything he wouldn't mind, perhaps, would he ? " suggested Miss Shannon. " AVell, I don't know that he would," replied ]\Irs. Somerville ; ^but the thing is how to do it." *' I think I have it," replied Miss Shannon. *' How ? " asked Mrs. Somerville. " Well, then, you see, as we are only lodgers, as the Irishman said when they told him the house was on fire, I think we may as well make hay while the sun shines ; and with my fine new name and aristocratic connections, there can be no difficulty in my ordering whatever we like, and telling Mr. Romford that I stand Sam for the occasion." " No more there will I " exclaimed Mrs. Somerville, dehghted at the proposal. " Have the things directed to me, you know — ' Miss Hamil- ton Howard, or Mrs. Hamilton Howard, Beldon Hall, Doubleim- upshire.' " " Capital ! " exclaimed Mrs. Somerville, clapping her pretty taper-fingered hands ; " excellent, indeed. But we had better have in the Lovetin title, or they may take us for some of the smaller fry, and hesitate to execute the order." "Well, I'd have it in mildly, then," replied ^liss Shannon. *• Say, * at the Lord Lovetin's, Beldon Hall, Houbleimupshire ; ' not ' at the Right Honourable Lord Viscount Lovetin's, Beldon Hall, Houbleimupshire,' or they may think we are vulgar people unaccustomed to the nobility. They'll soon refer to the Peerage, if they have any doubts, and give him all his honours them- selves." " Then Avho should we give our valuable custom to ? " asked Mrs. Somerville. " Oh, Fizzer, by all means. Fizzer has unlimited means, and can execute the largest order off-hand with the greatest ease. I know one of his genteel young people, who says they do business in the most liberal, confiding way, — never suspecting anybody with a handle to his name, or seeming to think it possible to be imposed upon." " That's the man for us ! " exclaimed Mrs. Somerville. They then discussed the form of the Fizzer order. " ' ^liss Hamilton Howard presents her compliments to Mr. Fizzer,' " suggested Lucy. "Xo, I wouldn't compliment him," replied Miss Shannon. ■" Too polite ; might make him suspicious. Just write as you 326 ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. would fco your milliner, in a scraAvly-sprawly sort of way, saying what you want, and nothing more ; leaving him a little margin for the imagination to play upon, and to enable him to suggest something himself. He may propose to supply wine too ; in which case you would take him at his word, and save Mr. Eomford's, who, you know, only agreed to give sherry." And Lucy, who was a much better writer than Betsey, whose foiie lay more in her toes than her fingers, then proceeded to order a champagne supper for eighty or ninety ladies and gentlemen, to be sent to Miss Hamilton Howard, at Beldon Hall, in Double- imupshire, on the 11th, by the train that arrived at the Firfield station at 1.30 p.m. The next post brought down a gilt-edged extra superfine note, with the words, " Fizzer, Confectioner to the Queen," on the pink stamp of the envelope, informing Miss Hamilton Howard that her esteemed favour had come to hand and should be duly attended to, adding, that if there was any extra plate, or waiters, or any- thing else required, perhaps Miss Hamilton Howard would have the goodness to communicate her wishes to Mr. Fizzer ; thus showing how grateful London tradespeople are for being handsomely im- posed upon. And the note concluded by requesting a continuance of Miss Hamilton Howard's favours, which should at all times command Fizzer's best attention. So far so good. They had now got supjDer, plate, and extra ser- vants if they wanted them. The minor adjuncts only remained. Lucy was now in her glory. CHAPTEK LI. MRS. SOMERVILLE "AT HOME.' Fortune favours the brave ; and the ladies at Beldon Hall seemed to be particularly lucky, for a bright sunny day went down with a blood-red sky, giving goodly promise for the coming frosty night. And indeed, before Mr. Romford reached his kennel, after a fairish run in the lower part of Doubleimupshire, the ice began to crumble beneath his horse's hoofs, and the air assumed a crisp consistency that as good as said, " Mr. Francis Eomford, my good friend, your invincible hounds will not be out again in a hurry.'' Nor in truth did our Master care much if he stopped for a while and took stock, for several of his subscribers paid the usual convenient tribute of respect to his great riches by withholding ME. FACEY EOMFOEB'S HOUNDS. 327 their subscriptions, and Facey would like to have them collected. How could he ever build bis hospital if they didn't pay ? In addi- tion to this, he had two or three lame horses, besides some tbat were getting rather light in the girth ; and as Mr. Goodhearted Green had expressed his intention of being in Mr. Romford's " shire," as he called it, towards Christmas, Facey would like to have them plumped out a httle before Goodheart came. So he resicrned his horse to the strong persevering man, and fed _ his hounds without note or comment on the future. Two things Facey eschewed — hunting in wind and a frost ; and he saw plainly enough that he was in for the latter. He therefore resolved to succumb without contending with the elements— a step that it would be well if other masters were to adopt. With feelings such as these, he now waddled down to the house at a sort of half -run- ning-half -walking kind of gait. The first thing that struck our Master as he approached the Hall, was the disordered state of the gravelled ring before the door. When he left home in the morning it was nicely raked, but now there were the marks of two if not three carriages upon it. " Rat it ! " exclaimed he, " they'll never be done with their callers con- tinually battledoring and shuttlecocking the cards," thinking what a consumption of sherry and captains there would have been. ** Straw, too ! " added he", as he advanced farther and found a few blades, also some paper shavings. "What the deuce are they doing with straw ? " Facey httle thinking what two cargoes of gT)ods Independent Jimmy had brought from the Firfield station, from Mr. Fizzer's. But when he opened the door, and found a fire blazing on either side of the great entrance-hall, his consternation knew no bounds, and he thought the quiet evening and a little music had indeed assumed vast proportions. There are, however, people who will attempt to carry off anything with a matter-of-course air, and bv going boldly in they oftentimes parry, or at all events break, the force of a blow. When, therefore, Mr. Romford came striding into the breakfast-room, nursing his wrath as he walked, ]\Iiss Betsey Shannon essayed to take the wind out of his sails by exclaiming, " Oh, Mr. Romford ! Oh, Mr. Rom- ford ! haven't we made an improvement in the hatmosphere of the 'ouse ? " T. ^ " Made two great blazing fires, I see," replied Facey, gruffly ; adding, " but I don't know that that will be any improvement in my pocket." "Oh, but it's worth all the money," rejoined Miss Shannon, " especially on a cold frosty night hke this ; and when, too, you have a few friends coming to take tea and spend the evening with you." 328. ME. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. ** Well, well," rejoined Mr. Romford ; " but there's reason in all things — reason in all things. No use making two fires when one would do. Folks can warm themselves just as well at one fire as at two. And who's been at the biscuits ? " demanded he, revert- ing to his original gravel grievance. " Nobody," replied Lucy, boldly. " Nolody I " retorted Facey. " Coom, that won't do ; bin two, if not three carriages here, oi'll swear." " Oh, that's Independent Jimmy with — with " faltered Mrs. Somerville. " With what ? " demanded Facey. " Oh, just some things for Miss Shannon," replied the lady, recollecting herself. " Things for Miss Shannon ! " retorted Facey. " Why, he must have brought half creation." " You see, now," interposed Betsey, playfully taking him by the button of his red coat as she spoke, — " you see Fve a cousin in the confectionery line, and he has lent us some little sugar ornaments and things to set the supper table out with. Facey. — " Supper table ! Why, I thought we settled there was to be a rabbit-pie and some cheese — I mean sherry and sand- wiches ? " Miss Shcomon, — '* Oh, yes — sherry and sandwiches, too ; but you know these are just ornamental things, not meant to eat, you know ; and as my cousin offered them, why, we thought we might as well have tliem, specially as they cost nothing." "Cost Independent Jimmy's journeys, at all events," replied Mr. Romford, thinking what a lot of rabbit-pies the money would have bought. However, as he couldn't say Miss Shan- non might not do as she liked with her own, he turned the conversation by exclaiming to Lucy, " And what's there for dinner, lass ? " *' Resurrection pie and roast apples," replied Lucy. " Resurrection pie and roast apples," repeated Facey, adding, '• well, let's be at it as soon as you like, for oi'm very hungry and ready to be doing." " They'll be ready as soon as you are," replied Lucy, glad to see he was inclined to expedite matters, adding, "p'raps you won't mind taking your pipe in the bedroom ? " " What for ? " demanded Facey. " Oh, only because we should like to have this room for a cloak- room." " Cloak-room ! " replied Facey ; "why the deuce can't they put off their cloaks in the hall ? What are the two great rousing fires for, I wonder ? " asked he, reverting to the old grievance. MB. FACET MOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 329 " Oh, but then the ladies must have combs and pins and look- ing-glasses, to arrange their hair and simpers," observed Miss Shannon, coming to the rescue. " Dash them ! thej surely don't mean to dress their hair here ?" replied Facej, " No ; but then to see it's all right after the jolt of the road, you know." " Gentlemen don't understand these things, you see," added Miss Shannon. " Don't oi ? " growled Facey, as if he understood a good deal more than she thought. He then rolled out of the room, wonder- ing what the deuce the women were after — why they couldn't have a few friends to tea without all that kick up. It was only an uncomfortal^le meal as far as Lucy and Betsey were concerned, for they were anxious to expedite matters, and durst not open their mouths on the subject of the coming enter- tainment ; while Facey seemed to dawdle over his dinner, a most unusual circumstance with him, who generally gobbled it up like a hound. If he only knew how anxious they were to get rid of him, he surely would be good enough to go. Oh dear, what a deal they had to do ! And there I he was taking another slice cf cheese. At length he gave his great mouth such a sounding- smack as indicated he was done, and, turning short round to the fire, he stuck out his legs as if preparing for his pipe. Lucy then rang the bell for Dirtiest of the Dirty, and as she cleared the things away, Lucy took advantage of a lull in the noise to ask if Mr. Eomford's fire was burning. " Yes, mum," replied Dirty, " Hang these * at homes,' " growled Facey : " they seem to make a man not at home. Light me a candle," added he, seeing there was no help for it. He then rose and slouched off in his slippers, muttering something as he went about " Avomen and the price of coals." " Thank goodness, he's gone ! " exclaimed Betsey, almost as soon as he had closed the door. " Hush !" rejoined Lucy; '*you don't know what quick ears he has. Xow he is away,'' added she, as she heard him turn up the passage leading to his bedroom. The ladies then laid their heads together to expedite matters — so much to do, and so little time to do it in. The fact was, Facey should not have had any dinner at home that day. And to aggravate matters, there came notes from parties begging, as the greatest possible favour, to be allowed to bring others, or exchange samples, with the weary bearers waiting for answers, and of course retarding matters down below. 330 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, Eight o'clock now strack — quicker, if possible, and more im- pulsively than usual — and it wanted but an hour, one short hour,, until the grand company would be entitled to come ; and there is always some stupid gawk who arrives at the exact moment, doing as much mischief as a score of people would do. But, thanks to- Mr. Percival Pattycake, Mr. Fizzer's head man, things were well forward, which they would have had little chance of being if the Dirties had been in command, for they were all so bent on admiring themselves in their well-distended white muslin dresses,, with cherry-colour sashes and little jaunty caps, as to be perfectly forgetful of the fact that they were meant to do anything but giggle and amuse themselves. Very pretty they all were, though Dirtiest of the Dirty was. decidedly the belle of the party, with her sylph-like figure, large languishing eyes, pearly teeth, and beautiful hands. She, how- ever, felt rather hurt that, as a lady's maid, she was not allowed to wear a low-necked dress. " There should be a distinction made," she said, " in favour of upper servants." Billy Balsam and Bob Short, too, got into their shorts in good time ; and Billy was so disguised by his powdered head and gaudy livery, that none of the Lonnergan family — not even old "Eent- should-never-rise " himself — recognised him. But the great metamorphosis of the evening was that of our gigantic friend Proudlock, the keeper, whom Lucy had induced to put on a splendid green-and-gold French chasseur's uniform that Betsey had got down from the same unhappy hook-nose who supplied the Hveries. There, with defiant ftdse moustaches and a lofty feather-plumed cocked hat, Proudlock stood at the front door, receiving the carriages as they came up, striking awe and astonishment into the minds of the beholders. One thing, to be sure, had been omitted in the arrangements^ namely, to provide stable-room for the horses and refreshments. for the servants. And as carriage aftar carriage set down, with the usual inquiry of the giant where they were to put up, the coachmen w^ere tokl that he didn't know anything about putting up. Indeed, it never seemed to have occurred to the ladies that they would want anything of the sort. " As strong as a horse,"^ is a familiar phrase ; and what did it mean but the power of re- sisting hunger and cold. Besides, how did the cab-horses and things do in London ? Who, in the midst of preparations like these, could think of such things ? '' Drive on ! " was therefore the order of the day. And now let us look at matters inside the house. The two ladies dressed together, taking an hour and a half for the operation, at the end of which time they severally appeared ia very chaste and elegant costume. MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 33X Let us now suppose them down-stairs, all ready for the ring-up of the curtain of company. Hark ! it's evidently a frosty night, for the notes of the stable clock reverberate through the house as though it were inside the mansion. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine " DASH MY BUTTONS ! " o'clock' Mrs. Somerville "at home" at nine o'clock, and now she's due ! Then, having snatched a parting glance at herselt m the mirror, and feeling comfortable on the score of looks she takes her delicate white kid gloves and richly embroidered feathered fan off the mantelpiece, and approaches the door of the reception- room, accompanied by Miss Hamilton Howard, each inwardly hopino- that Mr. Romford will be pacific under the violent S32 ME. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. surprise that awaits him, — the blaze of light, the great gathering, the gorgeous supper, the — we don't know what else besides. Hark, again ! Carriage-wheels sound on the now frozen gravel, and yet it's only five minutes past nine. The noise ceases, but the momentary calm is only the prelude to a most boisterous ring. A country footboy has got the brass bell-knob in his hand, and pulls as if he were going to pocket it for his trouble. A tremen- dous peal is the result. It shakes the nerves of everybody in the house, — Dirties, Lucy, Facey, and all. " There ! there's somebody I " ejaculated Lucy and Betsey, as they both got into position, Lucy before the door, Betsey a leetlc behind, ready to advance as soon as Mrs. Somerville's smiling demands were satisfied in full. '' Dash my buttons, here they come ! " exclaimed Facey aloud to himself, now in the last throes of his neckcloth. " Dash my buttons, here they come ! and I not half dressed yet. Shouldn't wonder if it's Cass herself," said he, thinking how she would pout if he was not ready to " Bob Ridley " her. But he is all out in his reckoning. Cassandra Cleopatra, at this identical moment, is getting laced into a most elegant foiktie of straw-coloured Chamhenj gauze with six flounces of white hdle ; and Spanker's man is just putting the harness on to the carriage- horses, to convey them to Beldon Hall. No ; it is the noble family of Lonnergan, — Lord Lonnergan of Flush House, accompanied by his amiable wife and accomplished daughters, who, however, have not been able to persuade papa that there is no occasion to come to the exact moment they are asked for. His lordship insists upon the contrary ; adding, that he once missed the mail train in consequence of being half a minute behind time, and he has always made a point of being punctual ever since. So he confronts the gigantic Froudlock, who passes the party on to the figure-footmen, who in turn conduct the ladies to the breakfast-room door, where the sylph- like form of Dirtiest of the Dirty, now arrayed in white muslin Avith bright cherry-coloured ribbons, receives them ; and his blue- coated, short-breeched lordship is ushered into the library, where the other Miss Dirties, similarly attired, preside behind a well- garnished tea and coft'ee table. These beautiful girls his innocent lordship surveys v>-ith all the respect that old Don Quixote regarded the muleteer's wenches ; thinking, if not princesses, that at all events they were Mrs. Somerville's servants. But he declines both tea and coffee, having had both before. And now the Honourable Lovetin Lonnergan, who had come on the box of the carriage, having got out of his wraps and MR. FACEY BO MFC) ED'S HOUNDS. 333 joined the ladies, summoning the old lord from his survey, advances up the passage to the radiant music-room, preceded by both Balsam and Short. " Mr. and ^Irs. Lonnergan and the blisses Lonnergan — Mr. Lovetin Lonnergan," announces Billy Balsam in the orthodox way he had been taught : and forthwith there was a great bend- ing and bobbing and showing of teeth, with introductions to "my friend. Miss Hamilton Howard." And both his lordship and the honourable were much struck with the ladies' beauty. Bing, ring, ring, went the door-bell, and the giant was again astonishing the arrivals : Mr. and Mrs. Brogdale and Miss Brog- dale this time, closely followed by Romford's suspicious friend Miss Mouser, who did not let any doubts she had npon our Master's genuineness prevent her begging Mrs. Watkins to get her an invitation to his house. Then came the Blantons and Mr. Finch, the gentleman our blaster called ]\Ir. Felt. And now, Mr, Romford having descended from his bedroom, arrayed in all the magnificence of purple and fine linen, with a smart cambric kerchief in his hand in lieu of his okl snufiF- coloured bandana, found a cluster of ladies and gentlemen around our fair friends, quite as many as, with a slight addition perhaps, Facey thought would constitute a party — quite as many, at least, as he expected to be asked when he gave his consent to have one» AVho the deuce was going to find sherry and sandwiches for the- whole county ? But still Billy Balsam kept piloting in more, mangling their names, and sometimes exchanging them altogether when he had two sets in hand, calling Mr. Tuckwell Mr. Brother- ton, and Mr. Brotherton Mr. Brown, in the most arbitrary and uncharitable way. The carriages now came so quickly that the bell ceased ringing, and Billy had hardly time to receive one con- signment from Bob Short and pass them to the Dirties, ere another party wanted to be passed from the Dirties to the music- room. Not so our fat friend from Pickering Xook, who seemed to think he had got among the fair damsels at the refi-eshment- room there, and kept laughing and talking, or rather squeaking, first with one Dirty and then with another, as though he were going to stay there. But here comes the weaselly-looking chairman of the Half- Guinea Hat Company, with his yellow-and-white beard carefully combed out, and his failing crop of sandy hair made the most of towards the top. He grins as thongli he has quite recovered from his "cat "-spelling loss at Tarring Neville, and was easy about the hundred pounds' worth of hat-shares Lucy had got. The fact is, he has just made a great hit in buying a piece of land with a favourite clump of trees upon it, which he threatened to cut down 334 MB. FACET MOMFOBD'S BOUNDS, unless certain parties paid for their standing, and amongst them he has got three times as much as he gave. " Mister, Mistress, and Miss Watkiis^s ! " now announced the Dalberry Lees' figure-footman in a loud authoritative tone at the front door, as though he were telling the giant something he didn't know. Mister, Mistress, and Miss Watkins had indeed come at last ; and now, getting out of their opossum and black bear-skin wrappers, they descend slowly and dehberately from the well-appointed carriage, as though they did not care who they kept waiting behind. Having seen them into the middle of the en- trance-hall, the coachman then further procrastinates matters by demanding to know where he is to put up his 'osses. On being told by the giant that he knows nothin' about 'osses, he indulges in some coarse invectives against the 'ouse generally, and with a vindictive cut of his whip at length moves on from the door. Mr. Lolly's one-'oss-shay then crawls up. Then came the Kickons, the Bigmores, and a gentleman in a gig. Meanwhile the ladies, having dropped Willy at the tea-room door, proceed under the guidance of the two figure-footmen to the cloak-room, w^here they remove the last wrap that conceals the artistic triumph of Madame La Modiste. Miss, indeed, looks well. The Watkinses declining tea, which indeed they had taken before they left Dalberry Lees, proceeded, duly heralded by Bal- sam and Short, to the reception-room, about the centre of which, and as nearly under the richly cut glass chandelier as would escape any wax-drops falling on her dress or beautifully rounded shoulders, stood Mrs. Somerville in the fall blaze of light and admiration, receiving the compliments of the men, and undergoing the scrutiny of the ladies. There too, a little on her left, was Betsey Shannon, now, of course. Miss Hamilton Howard, the centre of attraction to three young gentlemen at once, viz., Bolingbroke Large, Sick-mouth, and the Honourable Lovetin Lonnergan. But Betsey had esprit., or w^hat she called chafiP, for them all, and played her cards so well that each fancied himself the favourite, and wondered why the others didn't go away. She had held six men in tow at Highbury Barn before now, to say nothing of a fiddler and the cornet-a- jDiston in the orchestra. So she smiled and laughed and twisted and turned to show herself oif to the greatest advantage. And now the concentrated gaze of the room is diverted from the new-comers towards our great Master, Mr. Romford, to see how he greets the reputed new mistress of Beldon Hall. Miss Mouser up with her glass, for hers w^as the eye that never missed the shadow of an ogle or the echo of a sigh. Mrs. Brogdale put on her spec- tacles, and Mrs. Bigmore her nose-glasses. On Romford comes MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 335 like a great wave of the sea, until he reaches the reef of the family party. Then Mrs., then Miss, then Mr. have him alter- nately by the hand. Miss is very smiling, for she now feels assured that the whole affair is in honour of her. He wants to show her the house to advantage, before he asks her to shar with him. Miss Mouser says, with a dig of her sharp elbow into Mr. Blanton's ribs, " There's something in it, I'm sure." She then shifts her place and proceeds to take a sidelong survey — *' Clearly something in it," she says to herself, as she watches the sparkle of the lisper's eye. But her triumph was of short duration. *'Mr., Mrs., axd Miss Hazey, axd Mr. Willia^i Hazey !" now announces Mr. William Balsam, piloting the party well up to the mistress. Tlien there was a fresh ebullition of feeling, more smiles, more bows, more curtsies, more shakes of the hand. Miss looks lovely, quite eclipsing Miss Watkins both in beauty and dress. Miss Mouser is at her with her formidable glass, for she doesn't like her mother — Mrs. Bigmore is at her with her double ones, for she doesn't like her father ; and Miss Watkins is at her with her supercihous eyes, for she doesn't like herself. A good many others, too, gave her saucy stares, for she was far too pretty to be popular, and Mr. Hazey himself was not much liked either. Mr. Eomford, however, consoles her for all the curling lips by the fervour of his greeting, quite satisfying Miss Hazey that the party was for her, and her only. If Cassandra Cleopatra could have felt the pressure of his great hand, she would have thought little of her own chance of preferment. But our lisping friend is not going to surrender without a struggle, and watching her opportunity, she sidles up to our host, and asks, with a glance at the piano, if they are not going to have a little music. " Oh, to be sure ! " exclaimed Facey, now recollecting what the party was for — '' oh, to be sure ! Oi'll get moy flute, and we will 'stonish the natives together." "Your flute is in the mnsic-stand," now exclaimed Mrs. Somer- ville, who had been Kstening to the rivals, and feared lest Facey might go out of the room and upset ah the other arrangements. " Is it ? " said Bomford, " then let us be doing," offering as he spoke his red arm to Cassandra, who joyfully accepted it, flaunting her dress at Miss Hazey just as a peacock flaunts his tail when he's not upon over good terms with the hen. Then there was fresh nudging and looking and hushing, and whispering of " What's up now ? " Going to have a little music, are we ? What, a concert, is it ? " with rnutterings of " Oh, she can't play a bit, nor he either," as the two approached the piano. 336 MR. FACET BOMFOED'S HOUNDS. Miss Cassundi'ii now draws off her closely-fitting white kid gloves, and depositing them with her fine lace and ciphered kerchief at the corner of the instrument, takes her voluminous seat on the stool, while Mr. Romford screws his old flute together, and amid hishing and hushing the audience form a semicircle behind, pre- paring for the punishment ; and Mrs. Somerville stands on guard near the door to receive the fresh comers, closely attended by Ten- and-a-half-per-Cent., chairman of the Half-Guinea Hat Company, with Betsey and her beaux for a vanguard behind. And now Mr. Romford, having got his greasy old instrument licked and sucked and put together, proceeds to blow a few discor- dant puffs and squeaks, while the fair lady runs her light hand up and down the notes of the piano, as if to test the quality of her consignment. All being at length ready, with renewed cries of " hish, hush," the sound of voices gradually subsides, and as the now attracted company are expecting some fine Italian air, away the musicians go with Facey's favourite tune of "Old Bob Ridley." " Why, what tune's that ? " whispers one. " Don't know," mutters another. " Surely it's not ' Old Bob Ridley,' " says a third. " Believe it is," adds a fourth. "Hush!" cries a fifth. If Facey's Oncle Gilroy really damaged his wind by making him play the flute to him when a boy, he had a great deal to answer for, as we make no doubt the assembled company thought, for a more impotent exhibition was perhaps never heard, even though (Cassandra Cleopatra did halt and help him along over the weak places, instead of hurrying on and showing off on her own account. Still the lameness of the performance did not prevent the assiduous toadies expressing their gratification and thanks to them both when they were done, even though they inwardly hoped they might not have to undergo any more of such music. But Facey, who had a firm conviction that he had mistaken his calling and ought to have been a flutist, received it all as Avell- merited laudation, and as soon as he had sufficiently recovered his wind, whispered to Cassandra, "Now let's 'stonish them with * Dixey's Land.' " And Miss gladly obeyed, much to the comfort of some and the disquietude of others ; and away they went more briskly than before. During all this time the guests still kept arriving, Mr. Telford, Mr. Stoddart, Mr. and Mrs. Pinker bringing Miss Reevey, and Mr. Baxton his two daughters and a gawky nephew, and when Facey turned round he was astonished to find such an assemblao'e. MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, 337 There could not be less than sixty or seventy people in the room, and Sweet William still kept piloting in more. Bowman and Barker and Lightfoot and Lorington, and we don't know who else besides. " Well, the ways of the women are wonderful," muttered Rom- ford, surveying the gathering, thinking he would not be caught giving his consent for another quiet evening with a little music. Then' the question where the sandwiches were to come from struck like a dagger to his heart. " Where, indeed," thought he. " A 'underd and fifty people at least," mused he, glancing round the room. "Terrible field, indeed." But Cassandra did not give him much time for reQection, for, knowing the power of her rival, she arose, and placing her delicate white arm within his red one, she lisped in his ear, " Now take me to the tea-room," determined that he should not be charmed ])y her music, at all events. " Tea-room ! " muttered Facey ; adding, " I don't think there is one." ** Oh yes, there is," rejoined Miss Cassandra, piloting him into the thick of the crowd, — " Oh, yes, there is ; " addiug, *' your people offered us some when we came." And as she w^orked him on, they came upon the breakwater formed before the door, now shored up behind by the substantial figures of "Rent-should-never-rise," Mrs. and the ^liss Rents, Fatty Stotfold, and other stout ones. Then, having at length penetrated this apparently impervious phalanx, they came upon where the enterprising ladies were re- ceiving at once their guests and the homage due to their own dis- tinguished beauty ; and Mrs. Somerville, looking round, confronted the tall figure of her brother shouldering his way, with Cassandra Cleopatra clinging affectionately to his side. " Oh, where are you going, my dear ? " exclaimed she, anxiously, laying her hand on his arm. " Tea ! Where's the tea ? " muttered Facey. " Tea ! — there'll be " Here Mrs. Somerville faltered ; she would have said sandwiches, but she felt it was of no use further disguising the matter, so she substituted the word " refreshment ; " adding, " and I want you to take in a lady." " Humph ! " growled Romford, wondering what was up ; mut- tering down his arm to his fair friend, " you'll get some gruel presently." So Miss Cassandra was impounded — impounded, too, in the most unpleasant way : for Anna Maria, availing herself of the familiar artifice peculiar to orators and gentlemen troubled with a determination of words to the mouth, got up a call on herself for 338 ME. FACET BOMFOHirS HOUNDS. some music, which, after a certain amount of coyness, she acceded to, and was presently playing and Avarbling in the place of her predecessor. It is but justice, however, to Cassandra, to state that she talked as loud and made as much noise as ever she could : and as it is easier to find fault than to do better, she criticised Anna Maria's performance very severely. At length the music ceased, thanks were tendered, curtsy made, and all parties began to think it was time for something else. Mrs. Somervilie then braced herself up to the utmost, and approaching our Master, asked him to take Mrs. Hazey into the dining-room. " Dinin'-room ! " muttered Facey, who thought the thing would be done on a tray where they were. He then did as he was bid, muttering as he went, " What's up now, as the frog said when its tail droi^ped off." CHAPTER LII. 31 lis. somerville's sandwiches. AVe left our friend Mr. Romford piloting one of his expectant mothers-in-law along from the music to the refreshment room, under a mixed eflusion of compliments from her, and speculations of his own as to what was going to happen next. Mrs. Hazey was now satisfied — indeed, revenged. She saw how it was : Mr. Eomford was civil to Mrs. AYatkins, but marked in his attention to her. It was clear the party was made for them Cthe Hazeys), though the Watkinses thought to appropriate it. That silly conceited girl (Cassandra Cleopatra) was always trying to make other women believe that the men were in love with her. They now got to the door of the lofty "forty by thirty " dining- room, resplendent with light, glitter, and glare. Along three- quarters of its entire length, flanked in at the ends, was arranged a most sumptuous supper-table, interspersed with beautiful fruit and flower vases, alternating with the most exquisite ccn- fcctionery. Before the elegant young gentleman in black, with the costly jewellery on his vest, and his curly dark hair parted elegantly down the middle, stood a noble design of the royal arms — a perfect trophy — the whiteness of the sugar lions being relieved by the rich colour aiid gilding of the numerous flags and arms. Half-way down, on Pattycake's right, arose a grand memorial MB. FACET ROMFORirS HOUNDS. 339 of our Indian Empire, in the shape of a noble elephant, fully accoutred with its howdah, or castle, filled with sporting men, .ijoine: out against the tiger ; while a similar position on Patty- cake's left was occupied by a barley-sugar pagoda, surrounded Avith hon-lions. THE MOTHER-IX-LAW EXPKCTAI^T. At the far end, on the right, was Britannia, ruling waves of sugar, and her car drawn by dolphins, red, white, and blue. On a crimson velvet-covered shelving stand at the back of the room arose a perfect pyramid of plate, commencing with the massive shields and salvers of olden times, and gradually tapermg away into the cups and vases of the present. It had been so long locked up, that it ahnost seemed to stare, as if quite unused to z 2 340 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. society. Its noble owner, however, would have stared far more if he could have seen it. The entertainment was, indeed, what Mrs. AVatkins's cook (Lubbins) would call a "grand uproar." O'er all this sumptuous elegance Mr. Fizzer's head man, Mr. Percival Pattycake, presided, having a Dirty on each side of him, and the figure footmen towards the ends of the table. Old Dirty was kept below to wash up, whilst Dirtiest of the Dirty wandered about the rooms, pocketing sugar and picking up what she could. Mr. Romford started convulsively when he got to the diniug- room door, just as if he had seen another " woman in black ;" for, however bold the Beldon Hall ladies w^ere, he did not think they dared have ventured on such a step as this. Mrs. Hazey, too, stared with astonishment, and inwardly thought it would be " A very fine thing to be mother-in-law To a very magnificent fox-hunting Bashaw." The pressure, however, from the crowd behind was too great for much soliloquising, and the huge pent-up wave of society pushed on, and presently broke against the entire length of the supper- table, all equally anxious to be at the eatables. To see the onslaught that was made on the hams, and the tongues, and the turkeys, one could not help wondering what they would have done if there had not been any supper. Nor w^ere the jellies, the creams, or the custards a bit more neglected. " Munch, munch, munch," was the order of the day. At length the light artillery of lon-lons began to sound through the room, which, however, was quickly silenced by the more congenial fire of champagne. Fiz, pop, bang ! went the corks from the right, left, and centre. Fiz, pop, bang ! repeated others, and forthwith black arms and red arms, and fair arms, presented glasses across the tables to check the now overflowing exuberance of the bottles. Nor once, nor twice sufficed to repulse them — back came the glasses as though they had never been filled. The first glass, of course, was said to be good ; the second middling ; and the third " gusberry." Mr. Romford having now what he called got Mrs. Hazey hanked on to her husband, while he, wandering about alone, muttering to himself, " Where the devil do the chickens come from ? where the deuce do the hams come from ? where the dickens do the turkeys come from ? " He knew that Betsy Shannon's friend had only undertaken to supply the ornaments. And Facey felt just as if he was going to get the stomach-ache. At this interesting juncture the fair Cassandra Cleopatra came MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 341 tripping up, all smiles and radiance, thou.qh somewhat troubled in spirit, and presented arms at him in the shape of a hon-don. The champagne fire now became weaker and more languid, but the hubbub of voices and the cracking of 'bon-lons supplied the deficiency. Fizzer had sent down an unlimited supply of them, which ladies presented to gentlemen and gentlemen to ladies with the most undaunted courage. Crack, crack ! shriek, crack I sounded through the spacious apartment, to which the occasional boom of the champagne corks acted like artillery. Ten-and- a-half-per-Cent. and Mrs. Somerville pulled one together, in which was the following prudent hint : — " Be not too forward in touching toes under the table : some day you will make a grand mistake.'' while " If-father-would-but-die " was unremitting in his attention to Miss Hamilton Howard, looking as happy as if father was dead. . The red or auburn-haired lady, as the case may be, was in her glory I Mrs. Somerville, too, was surrounded with beaux, all anxious for a smile from the beautifal widow with ten thousand a year, as they now called it. She thought how happy she would be if she could have such a party every night in the year. People seemed to amalgamate better than they usually do on these sort of occasions. They all apj^eared to have specific engagements, and to be more bent on forwarding their own little affairs than watching how other people got on. Miss Mouser, to be sure, kept on the alert with her eye-glass, but they seemed to regard her much as people regard a pohceman in plain clothes, or a wasp deprived of its sting. Meanwhile the Dirties and footmen, under the direction of Mr. Pcrcival Pattycake, replenished the tables and arranged the garni- ture for further assaults — mangled remains were removed and replaced with uncut viands : Fizzer did the thing well. Facey, who had now imbibed several glasses of champagne, was sufficiently elevated to be able to treat the matter in a philosophi- cal over-shoes, over-boots sort of way, though when he looked at the temples and towers, and other triumphs of confectionery, he couldn't but think of his proposed rabbit-pie and cheese. " Won- derful work," muttered he, with a chuck of the chin to himself, as a fresh crop of champagne took its place on the table. " The . ways of the women are wonderful," added he, as a boar's head and plovers' eggs came sailing in, as though the resources of the house were inexhaustible. " Wonder how many Philistines there are here," continued he, glancing round the crowded room. " Rather keep them in prayer-books than champagne," added he, looking at the 342 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. long line of empty bottles ranged against the wall below the pla'c trophy. And now, having inducted the reader thus far into the evening's entertainment, we Avill take leave to branch off briefly to another subject, promising that if he would like a glass of champagne in the meantime he can call for it, and he won't get it. CHAPTEK LIII. THE INVASION. While all this frolicsome feasting and gaiety inside the house, things wore a very different aspect at the door. The night, as we said before, was cold and frosty, with a keen cutting crescent moon : there was no accommodation either for man or horse, and the gravelled ring was so blocked witli carriages that the coachmen could not get their horses moved about to keep them warm. It was a dead lock from end to end. Under these circumstances the whole cavalcade resolved itself into a committee to discuss the meaning and probable duration of an "At home." One servant said it was a sort of a tea-drinkin', another that it was a kind of a fiddlin' concern, a third that it was just a ladies' clothes show, a fourth that they met to exchange characters of servants ; but Mrs. Watkins's London Johnny assured them it was only a sort of a morning call thing performed at night, to which people could come and go just as they liked. At the same time he said, " undoubtedly genlmen's servants and osses ought to be provided for ; porters and such like might take their chance." Whereupon a stentorian voice, that could belong to no one but our popular friend Independent Jimmy, struck up from the moon-shaded side of the ring, declaring " it didn't see what for gentlefolk's busses and things" — meaning by the latter term " servants " — " what for gentlefolk's busses and things were to be treated differently to other people's, seein' that other people's husses might bring quite as great company as gentlefolk's ; " and there being two postboys in the ring, they declared in favour of Jimmy's "unadorned eloquence." Whereupon a brisk and rather acrimonious discussion ensued as to the relative social position of public and private servants, Jimmy contending that the man who wore his own " claes," and knew when his day's work was done, was far more respectable than a powder-monkey Peter, who had to fetch and carry " arl day, and arl night tee " if required. Where- MR. FACEY BOMFOKD'S HOUNDS. 343 upon several of the Jeames de la Phiche tribe retorted that Jimmy, and such as him, were little better nor fralley slaves, putting three days' work into one, and living- like criminals ; to which Jimmy retorted that if the work was hard and the fare poor, he was always in health, which was more, he'd be bound to say, than many of them were, *' with arl their dish-lickin' pot-wollopiu laziness." And so the debate proceeded from divers parts of the ring, — now a butler speaking, now a footman, now a tea-kettle groom, Independent Jimmy generally replying to their observa- tions without reference to the fact of his having spoken before. When the argument was about at its height, the sound of nmsic came softened through the Hall to the carriages. *' Hist I " exclaimed Jimmy ; " hist I arm dashed if they're not dauciu' I Sink ! " added he, *' but they'll keep theirsels warm, wliativer they de by us," Jimmy stamping severely in the bottom of the melon-frame box as he spoke. Then there was a louder Avaft of music, and a louder still. "Ay, that they are I " exclaimed Mrs. "Watkins's footman, listen- ing : "and we may be kept waiting here till ^ daylight does appear.'" "Wonder Avot'time they'll be thinking of us," observed Mr. Large's butler, who would have sent the footman if he had thought they would have been treated so. " Wonder \ " ejaculated Mr. Tuckwell's man : adding, " should have been out before, I think." *' Certainly," growled Mr. Bonus's servant, who, being on board wages, was inclined to indulge. " Just you slip in, Tom," said Mr. Brogdale's coachman to his footman, " and see if there's anything to get ;" adding, " if they don't mind about people's osses, they surlie might think o' the servants freezin' and starvin' in this way," the many-cape-coated speaker flagellating his broad chest as he spoke. And Tom, nothing loth, descended irom his rumble, and forth- with commenced worming his way among the carriages, making his way for the back door, with which he was well acquainted, having, when a policeman, been a suitor of Dirty Xo. 2's. So he opened the door and entered, just like one of the family. Nay, he did more, for knowing the ways of the house, he groped along the passages till he came to what would have been the invisible door in the dining-room but for the Miss Dirties' finger marks, who had established a short cut that Avay for carrying coals to the breakfast-room. This, then, he opened, and entered the gay lightsome apartment. Now it so happened that when Tom came iu, ^Ir. Percival Pattycake, who was much smitten with Dirtiest of the Dirty, had resigned his post of commander-in-chief to Dirty No. 1, while he 344 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S BOUNDS. and Dirtiest of the Dirty carried on a flirtation in the deserted room ; and Tom appealing pathetically to Miss Dirty's softer and better feelings, she just told him to help himself off the supper- table, whereupon Tom clutched a couple of capons, together with a tongue and a bottle of champagne, with which he returned triumphantly to the carriages. The sound of his coming, with the demand for a knife, caused quite a sensation in the ring, indeed all the way up the line towards the stables ; and forthwith delegates were appointed from several of the vehicles to go on a sort of qui tarn excursion into the house, and see what they could get as well for themselves as the coachmen. AAvay they flew, like a flock of pigeons, as though they hadn't tasted meat for a month, and Lord Lonnergan's young man knowing the ways of the house too, he soon brought them, by certain circuitous ways, to the aforesaid invisible but dirt-defined door. Dirty No. 1 had now paired off Avith the fat boy, leaving- the whole paraphernalia, ornaments and all, exposed to the mercy of the enemy. The intruders immediately set upon it. Mr. Blanton's young man turned a lobster salad into his livery hat, and restoring it, with a kerchief over it, to his head, next helped himself to a pigeon pie, and a bottle of seltzer water, mistaking it for curayoa. The Dalberry Lees footman pounced on a shape of orange jelly, a nest of plovers' eggs, and a pine-apple ; Miss Mouser's young man ran off with a sponge cake porcupine, all bristling with almonds ; Mr. Lolly's servant with a dish of Norfolk biffins ; while Mr. Beddingfield's great clown of a coachman took an uncut ham in his hand, and the beautiful Elephant and Castle ornament away under his arm. Up to this time the triumphs of confectionery had been respected, partly perhaps because they did not look like man's meat, and partly because there were more tempting-looking things to be had on the table. Now, however, Mr. Beddingfield's servant's bad example was followed by Mr. Kickton's man pocketing a pair of turtle doves, to eat with some cheesecakes and a bottle of sherry. The return of the marauders to the carriage ring was hailed with enthusiastic applause, and other adventurers were encouraged to proceed. *' You go in Sam ! You go in Joe I Y^ou go in Jimmy ! " " Nor, oi'll not gan in," said Independent Jimmy. " If they don't send oot, oi'll not gan in ; oi've got a crust o' bread i' mar pocket," added he, diving into his dirty old AVitney coat as he spoke. Fiz, pop, bang ! now went the champagne corks from the carriages, and great was the demand for a suck at the bottles, and entreaties for a fair distribution of the food. In the midst of the MB. FACET ROMFORD'S ROUNDS. 34J clamour a spluttering cry of ^oe arose, causing a cessation of eating for the purpose of listening. " Hush I what's that ? " was the ciy. It was the voice of the great Mr/ Spanker, the Dalberry Lees coachman, who has taken a hugh bite out of the pine apple without pealing it, filling his mouth full of needles and pins, as he afterwards described it. At first it was thought the worthy gentleman had taken a fit, then from the heaving of his shoulders that he was choking, and three or four smart whacks were ad- ministered on his back before the real cause was discovered. And now, while they are prescribing for his much-blistered mouth, one giving him champagne out of a bottle as they give water to a race horse, another recommending seltzer water, which was in no great demand, a third telling him to stuff his mouth full of cotton wool, let us return to our invited friends within the walls of Beldon Hall. CHAPTER LIV. THE BELDOJs^ BALL. -^C^'HE scene now changed, and Mr. Facey Romford, who thought he had ex- hausted all the wonders and sui-prises of the night, was doomed to undergo another apparition more startling and dazzling than any of the rest. This was neither more nor less than the beautiful gold and white drawing-room, brilliantly lighted up for a ball. Thechair-covers, the brown holland bags, yea the cut pile carpet itself, had disappeared, and a searching radiance reigned supreme. It was no light for dirty gloves or dashed dresses. The cut-glass chandeliers fulgurated their sparkling ^ lustre ; while every sconce, every bracket, every available standing-place for a NK TURN MORK ! 346 MR. FACEY ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. lustre supported its bunch of finest spermaceti, as well to show off the beauties and elegances of the apartment itself, as the beauties and elegances that were expected to enter it. And so quietly and secretly had the arrangements been made, that not one of the party, scarcely anyone in the house, knew what was going to happen. Old Dirty and a daughter (Dirty No. 2) had removed the rolled-up carpet to the housekeeper's room, and washed the floor a few days before ; but beyond this, Lucy and Betsey had kept the key and their own counsel, and did the rest of the decoration themselves, even to tipping the candles with spirits of wine, in order to make them light more readily. It Avas only on the afternoon of the very day that Chasseur Proudlock was inducted into the secret, and told to light up as soon as ever the guests Avent in to the supper-room ; and then, having done so, to throw the door open for them to enter as they returned. And it was on their homeward voyage — Mr. Eomford now convoying Mrs. AYatkins, with Cassandra Cleopatra, steering her voluminous petticoats, by his side — that the first daAvn of what was going to happen burst upon him. Facey started as the flood of light shot across his path ; a shock that was further increased by six well-dressed musicians slipping in before him, and hurrying up to their places in the bay. These were part of the produce of the chairman of the Half-guinea-Hat Company's hundred pounds' Avorth of shares in that excellent speculation, and out 'of Avhich Mrs. Somerville had wheedled Mr. Bonus. But of that little transaction Mr. Facey knew nothing. There, however, Avere the musicians, there the ball-room, and here Mr. Eomford Avith his assiduous ladies. " Oh dear, Avhat a beautiful apartment I " lisped the Dalberry Lees charmer. " Splendid ! " ejaculated Mrs. Watkins, noAV lost in astonish- ment at its size — fifteen feet longer than hers, and much higher. Just then the pressure from behind carried them ouAvard, and a surprised and noAV hilarious crowd entered the room, spreading over its ample dimensions, all anxious to try the merits of the beautiful floor. All Avas surprise and excitement. '* Oh dear, hoAv charming ! " '' Was there CA^er anything so nice ! " " Did you CA^er ? " " No, I never ! " " Hoav kind of Mrs. Somerville to give us a ball." And our hostess, Avho had tarried behind in the supper-room, ostensibly for the purpose of attending to her guests, but in reahty to let Mr. Eomford break the ice of this, the great finishing-stroke of the evening, Avithout her, noAv came up leaning on Willy W^atkins's arm, attended by Ten-and-a-half-per-Cent.,AYhile Betsey Shannon a little in the rear, distributed her smartness among the MB. FACET UOMFOEDS HOUNDS. 347 Honorary Secretary, your!- and the heavy tramp of the massive footmen bearing off the plate and the weightier articles of ornament. Facey then retired to rest, hardly able to reahse the events of the evening. Xor did a broken harassing sleep contribute to the elucidation of the mystery. He dreamt all sorts of dreams — first that a Jew bailiff, dressed in white cords and top-boots, stepped out of his gig and arrested him for the supper bill just as he was finding his fox in Stubbington Gorse — that nobody would bail him, and he was obliged to leave his hounds at that critical moment. Then that all the musicians were sitting on his stomach, vowing that they would play " Old 3IPi. FACEY R03IF0BD'S HOUNDS. 355 Bob Ridley " till he paid them for their overnight exertions. Next that he had backed Proudlock an even fifty to lick Independent Jimmy, and that Jimmy was leathering the giant jnst as he liked. Lastly, that Mrs. Somerville was off with old Bonus, and that Facey's horse Everlasting stood stock still and refused to go a yard in pursuit of them. Other parties had their dreams. Lovefcin Lounergan dreamed that ''father was dead," that he was in possession of Flush House with all the accumulations, and was just going to the coach- maker's to order a splendid blue and white carriage to take Miss Hamilton Howard to church ; while young Joseph Large, be- tween paroxysms of the cramp and broken sleep, dreamt that Miss Howard was his, and was coming to adorn the halls of Pippin Priory. Robert Foozle, too, dreamt that he had got a wife with- out his mother's leave, and was greatly rejoiced when he awoke and found it was not so. CHAPTEH LV. MR. GOODHEARTED GREEX AGAIX. The day after a ball is always a feverish, uncomfortable affair. It is far worse than the day before ; for you have all the confusion without the excitement caused by the coming event. Xobody knows when to do anything, — when to get up, when to breakfast, when to lunch, when or where to dine. On this occasion the sun itself forgot to rise — at least, to shine ; and those who slept with their curtains drawn and shutters closed, might have skipped the day altogether. Jack Frost was as good as his word ; and when Facey awoke, he found the landscape folded in Jack's icy embraces. " No hunt- ing for me," said he, as, casting aside the bed-curtains, he saw the head of Roundforth Hill powdered with a sprinkling of snow. -^'No hunting for me," repeatel he, turning over on his side; •".but oi'll have a look at moy list, and see if oi can't bring some •of my non-paying subscribers to book. No notion of carryin' on a country for the mere pleasure of the thing, and treat them into the bargain. Oi'm sum.mit like the barber," continued Facey, soliloquising, " who put up for a sign — * What ! Do you think I shaves for a penny And axes to drink ? ' 356 MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. but when the customer, haviug been shaved, wanted to drink, too, the barber read the sign,^ — 'What! BojontJunJi I shaves for a penny And axes to drink ? " O'im not goin' to hunt a country for nothin', and give them balls too. ' Shave for a pennv, and ax 'em to drink." "' So saying, our Master turned over in his couch, and presently subsided into a broken, htful sort of sleep. Thus he remained until half-past one in the afternoon, a thing he had never done before ; no, not even after the most ardent harvest dance, at which festivities he used to be a great ])erformer. He then got up, and dispensing with a shave, jumped into his lounging-suit of grey tweed, and proceeded down-stairs, ns well to test the severity of the frost as to get a mouthful of fresh air l)efore breakfast. Passing over the still blood-stained flags, he arrived at and opened the front door. What a gravel-ring was there ! So different to the nicely raked thing he usually kept. It looked as if all the horses in the country had been trampling and pawing upon it. There was the pine-apple, with the great bite taken out, just as Mr. Spanker, the Dalberry Lees coachman, threw it away. There were champagne bottles strewed all around, also the bottle of seltzer-water standing upright on the window-sill, nnd the elephant's castle lying crushed to atoms, just as it was when Mr. Kickton's carriage-wheel passed over it. The invaders hadn't even been at the trouble of taking the borrowed ale-horn back into the house, but had chucked it down to take its chance in the general melee. A keen east wind wafted straws and paper shavings about in all directions. " Bless us, what a sight ! " exclaimed Mr. Facey Eomford, looking at the dehris spread over the battle-field. "Declare it will take a man a month to put this ring right. All the way up to the stable the same mess," added he, following up the hne with his eye. " Well, if this doesn't cost something, I don't know what will ! Sooner Betsey's cousin than me ! " So saying, our friend picked up the pine-apple and the horn, and, wheeling about on his heel, re-entered the house, and rang the bell for his breakfast. It was all very well ringing, but there was nobody to answer the bell ; nobody but Old Dirty, at least, and she didn't care to come. The fact was, the breakfast-room, as indeed all the others, were just as the company had left them ; no fires lighted, candles as they were blown out, lamps as they were extinguished, chairs MB. FACEY ROMFOBD'S H0UN:DS. 357 as they stood, some wide apart, others close togetlier ; everything', in fact, but the supper-table was in sfafa quo. This was clean swept, Mr. PercivalPattycake, aided by Dirtiest of the Dirty, having packed up everything worth cari-ying off, and being then far on his Avay back to town, with the score of a hundred and. ten people who had partaken of the Beldon Hall hospitality. Facey rang again and again before Old Dirty came, and then she had nothing to show, — said the girls were all in bed, and. declared they wouldn't get up that day. So Facey had to go down into the kitchen and get his breakfast there, fearing to await the the dribbling assiduities of Old Dirty. And as he was busy mak- ing what the Frenchman called a "grand circumference " of toast for himself, lirst Betsey, and then Lucy, dropped in " quite pro- miscuous," and a disjointed conversation arose, interrupted by the occasional entry and exit of Old Dirty, resj^ecting the grand enter- tainment ; Facey fearing that he would be let in for the cost, Betsey assuring him he had nothing to fear, as she and her friend had made it all right with old Fizzer. And though Facey did not see how a young lady who sang and danced for her maintenance could afford such a proceeding, yet knowing that the " ways of the women were wonderftd," he hoped for the best, and proceeded with his breakfast. This over, he looked at his watch, and iind- ing it was nearly three o'clock, he gave up the idea of a stroll with his gun after the woodcocks, or anything else that turned up, and slouched away to the stable. Among other miscarriages — or rather, misplacements — of the occasion, was that of the Beldon Hall letters. The correspon- dence of the house was not very large, being chiefly confined to invoices, with a slight sprinkling of refreshers in the way of bills delivered, though nothing at all approaching a regular " dun : " but it so happened that there was a letter from Goodhearted Green himself, dated from Wallingford, saying that he had just purchased a most desirable weight-carrier, only a difficult one to mount, which he would be glad to bring to Beldon Hall himself, and pass a few days in Mr. Romford's agreeable company. And this letter, instead of being placed on the hall table, was laid on the library chimney-piece, and the first intimation Facey had of the coming guest was seeing a man of the Goodheart cut, riding a very superior-looking roan horse up towards the stables. At first, Facey thought it was Billy Barker, the brewer ; then, that it was Harry Blanton, the tanner ; next, that it was very like Good- hearted Green. " And Goodhearted Green it is," said he, running up and seiz- ing him by the hand just as he was preparing to dismount. Then, as Goodheart saw there was unusual surprise, he proceeded to inquire 358 MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. about the letter, when mutual explanations and welcomes followed. Facey was very glad to see Mr. Green, and Mr. Green was very- glad to see his good customer, Mr. Romford. Then the two looked at the strawberry roan. He was, indeed, a fine horse, up to any weight : corky and cheerful looking, but with rather a sinister cast of the eye when anyone approached him. EASILY HOBVIATED, " Has but one fault/' said Goodheart, complacently : " has but one fault — kick people over his 'ead as they mount ; but easily hobviated," added he : " easily hobviated — strap up a leg as yon mount," producing a strap from his pocket as he spoke. " Well, but you can't ride him across country on three legs," observed Romford. "True," assented Goodheart. ''True; but then it's only a MIL FACEY BOMFOBiyS HOUNDS. 359 moiuentaiy ebullition of spleen. Soon finds out when he has got his master on his back, and then a child might ride him— ride him with a thread.'* " AVell, we'll try him/' said Eomford, now calling to Short, who came rubbing his eyes, still half-stupified with his over-night exertions. " Here, take this horse," said Eomford, " and put him into the five-stall stable, and send some one down to the Hall to say that Mr. Green is come, and bid them get a bed ready, and some more sheep chops for dinner." The strong, persevering man then departed with his new charge ; and Facey, burning to his friend, said, " Xow let you and oi take a turn of the stables." The two then entered the more genial atmosphere, and were presently deeply absorbed in the discussion of the condition and performance of Ben and the Baker, the peculiarities of TerfectioD, the deficiencies of Everlasting, the action of Oliver Twist, and the looks and eccentricities of the rest of the stud. Lucy and Betsey were sorry that Mr. Green had not come m time for the ball, which they felt certain he would have greatly enjoyed ; while Mr. Romford's anxieties were directed solely to the continuance of the frost, fearing (Joodheart might not get a turn with his brilliant hounds. The ladies received Mr. Goodheart very cordially, feeUng that he would be useful in warding off any farther attacks about the l)all, and as Facey would not hear of any extra expense being incurred for entertaining him. they did their best to make a great man of him by putting him into the best bedroom, one that Lord Lovetin himself would not have accorded to any one under the rank of a duke, or a prince of the blood-royal, at least. There, under a magnificent temple-like canopy, nestled the old horse-dealer, a man more accustomed to the deficiencies of a garret than the delicacies of a dressing-room. Still Goodheart Avas a versatile, agreeable man ; and being only a lowish sort of fellow— the son of a cabman— of course he had a o-reat knowledge of high life and Court proceedings, and could tell more of what was passing at the Palace than any lord in waiting : so, what with small talk for the ladies, and horsey talk for Facey, they got on very well together ; and (Joodheart was found to be a very agreeable addition to the party. 360 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. CHAPTER LVI. THE INFIRMARY BALL. The Beldoii Ball made a profound sensation in Doubleimujv sliire. It was talked of far and near. Those who were there, landed it to the skies ; those who were not, set about contrivino- how they could establish an acquaintance with our fair friend, Mrs. Somerville, so as to get to another if she gave one. There was no longer any doubt or hesitation in the matter. No more " Pray, who is this Mrs. Somerville ? Do you know anything about Mrs. Somerville ? Have you called on Mrs. Somer- ville ? Are you going to call on Mrs. Somerville ? Do you know if Lady Camilla Snuff has called on Mrs. Somerville ? " It was all, " Oh, dear ! do you know Mrs. Somerville ? I should so like to know Mrs. Somerville ? Charles, my dear, I must have the carriage to go over and call on Mrs. Somerville ! " Then, on the Friday following, the old '•' Doubleimupshire Herald," a muddly county paper that seemed to edit itself, varied its quack-medicine advertisements with a list of the lady patronesses for the forth- coming Infirmary Ball, in which Mrs. Somerville's name headed the commoners, coming before Mrs. Watkins, Mrs. Large, Mrs. Brogdale, and many others who thought themselves very great adies indeed. And this interpolation had been made, notwithstanding the ball had been fixed and the names published for some weeks before. Then came a letter from the secretary, requesting to know how many tickets he might have the honour of sending Mrs. Somer- ville, which brought the matter fairly on the tapis — that is to say, under the cognizance of Mr. Komford, whose little pig-eyes had detected the advertisement, though he had not thought proper to mention it. Bold Betsey, as usual, led the charge, taking advan- tage of a lull that occurred between the consumption of a couple of bottles of Lord Lovetin's best port, and the adoption of gin and pipes by the gentlemen. At first, cunning Facey pretended not to hear, being busy with his baccy ; so she addressed herself to our friend the horse-dealer, who commenced business with a cigar. But Green was not quite happy in good society. He was conscious that he rather knocked his H's about. Indeed he and his friend Billy Slater, the hatter of Bermondsey, had gone to the sign of the Mermaid at Margate only the summer before the MR. FACEY BOMFOED'S HOUNDS. 361 period of our story, and Goodheart being spokesman had addressed the landlord (a cousin of Skittle's), who was smoking a Manilla with ineffable ease at the front door, demanding to know if they " could have a couple of good hairy bedrooms." Whereupon the landlord, taking his cigar from his mouth, replied with a super- cilious smile, '• AVell, I don't know ; I can rub a couple with bear's grease for you, if you like." And it was this not knowing whether to put the H in, or to leave it out, that made Goodheart uncomfortable. He knew that it was either one way or the other, and his anxiety to be right very often made him wrong. He, therefore, did not care to show off at the Infirmary Ball, and the long list of fashionable patronesses had no attractions for him. But the ladies, who saw the advantage, were all for going, and of course could not do without the gentlemen. Ob, what was to stop them from going ? There was no hunting, and it would be some- thing for them to do. The melon-frame would hold four, or two inside and two out if the gentlemen objected to the crinolines, and the cost of the conveyance would be all the same for four as for two. Then in answer to Goodheart's objections that he wouldn't know any one, Lucy reminded him that she was a lady patroness, and her brother, Mr. Romford, hunting the country. Lastly, Goodheart played his real card, namely, " that they would smoke him and blow him," Avhicli would be prejudicial to the Beldon Hall ladies, as well as to himself This argument rather told. Lucy was on her preferment, and must not do anything to bring her down the ladder of society. The associate of countesses, and viscountesses, and honourables must be discreet. Then Betsey Shannon, whose counterfeit abilities were first-rate, and who knew the advantages of a high-sounding name herself, sug- gested that Mr. (rreen might go under an assumed one, or a title if he liked. And this idea being unanimously applauded, things began to get into the grooves that Lucy and Betsey wanted them. Facey thought it would be good fan to humbug the Larkspurites ; and they began to consider what they should call Mr. Green — Lord Topboots, Lord Silverpow, I-ord Gammon, Lord Horseley, Lord Thoroughpin, Lord Spavin, Lord Stringhalt, Lord Glanders, and a variety of similar names. " Xo, no," interposed Betsey, seeing they were making fun of it, " that will not do : he shall not be a lord at all. That will only set them looking into their Peerage, and pulling him to pieces." " Let him be a Sir — Sir Somebody Something ; and then if they say ' he's not a Bart.,' you can say, ' no, he's a Knight ; ' and if they say ' he's not a Knight,' you can say, ' no, but he's just going to be made one,' or put it off' in that way." And this idea being applauded too, they began to try on other titles, just as 362 Mil. FACET BOMFOBiyS HOUNDS. Mrs. Spono'o tried on names when slie changed her's from Sponge to 8omerville. Sir Eeginahl Rover, Sir Arthm- Archdnke. Sir Timothy Trotter, Sir Peter " No, no," said Betsey, " let's have something that is neither too fine, nor too low — something that will sound so natural as not to create suspicion or in(]uiry, that will come trippingly off people's tongues." "Suppose we call him Sir Roger de Coverley,'' suggested Mrs. Somerville, still thinking of the ball. " No, that would be too theatrical," said Betsey ; " but we might call him Sir Roger something else — Sir Roger Russell, Sir Roger Brown." " Sir Roger Ferguson 'spose," said Facey. " Very good name," rejoined Betsey, " very good name. Your servant, Sir Roger Ferguson,'" said she, rising and making Good- heart a low curtsey, just as she curtseyed foi' an encore at High- bury Barn. And the man of the H's finding there was no halterative, was at length obliged to submit, and ultimately came in to the humour also of having a star to decorate his coat on the occasion. This Betsey Shannon undertook to procure from the same quarter as she did the liveries and the uniform for Mr. Proudlock the keeper. Behold, then, the auspicious evening— a bright starlight night — with her now noble horse-dealer arrayed in a gentlemanly suit of black, relieved by his glittering star and snow-white head. Mr. Romford, on the other hand, was gay and gaudy, scarlet Tick, white vest, with his El Dorado shirt puffiug out in front beneath a white tie, altogether a very passable swell, and on very good terms with himself. The ladies, we need scarcely say, were quite differently dressed to what they were at the Beldon Bali, for avIio can be expected to appear twice in the same costume — certainly not Mrs. Somerville, or her fair friend Miss Hamilton Howard (rice Shannon), who had all the resources of London dressmakers at their command. Nothing to do but send off the order, and have the things doAvn in no time. The coronettcd Beldon Hall note-paj)er was as good as gold in the London market, and Madame Ehsa and Co. could never see too much of it. It was always lying about their show-rooms. Considering that there was so much money in Doubleimupshire, so many teapot-handle-makers, so many Ten-and-a-half-per- C-enters, it was strange that they should have no l)etter ball-room than what the old town-hall at Butterwick, built on the principle of Goldsmith's '■• Chests contrived a double debt to pay, A bed b}"^ night, a chest of drawers bv day," MB. FACUY liOMFOED'S HOUNDS. 303 supplied. Xay, indeed, it had harder Avork than the chest of drawers, for it served as well for a corn and butcher market as a town-hall, while by closing up the interstices between the great stone pillars on which the brick edifice was raised, and opening- a temporary staircase on the left, the lower part of the hall served for a theatre as well. 80 that, on an occasion like the present, the ball-comers might hear Hamlet junior objurgating his too too solid flesii, or get their toes trod on by the ghost of Hamlet senior stalking off the stage at cock-crow. Xay, indeed, at certain times — for instance, when an army was in motion, the setters-down had to wait for the nick of time before they could effect a passing at all, just as children at the sea-side have to Avait till the receding wave gives them a chance of getting after their outward-bound boats. On this occasion a leathern-lunged Richard was roaring for his horse just as our Beldon party entered — "A horse I a horse I my kingdom for a horse ! " " I'll suit you I " exclaimed Goodheart in the same tone, ignorant of the situation, and forgetful of his greatness. The side scenes passed, and the sort of scaling-ladder staircase as- cending, the adjuncts to the ball-room were little better than the arrangements down below. There was no cloak-room for the gentlemen, who had to hang their hats and wraps up in the passage, while that for the ladies was of the smallest, most cir- cumscribed order, being, in fact, the apartment occupied by the market keeper and his wife. The ball-room, however, was large and lofty, seventy feet by fifty, open up to the dark oak rafters of the roof. The walls were decorated with town and country notabilities — some in peers' robes, some in aldermanic honours, some in plain clothes — all the work of lirst-rate country artists, quite ready to set Mr. Ituskin and all the Royal Academy at defiance. Of course a great man like our blaster was hailed long before he got into the ball-room, and as Goodheart (now Sir Roger) and he stood waiting for the ladies — Avondering wiiat the deuce they were doing — Faceyhad an opportunity of introducing the Baronet to some of his acquaintances — 8ir Roger Ferguson, Mrs. Telford ; Mr. BoAvmau, Sir Roger Ferguson ; Sir Roger Ferguson, Mr. Lightfoot. But it Avas Avhen the line of march Avas formed, and the gay-coloured party appeared improvingly at the door-way, the decorated Sir Roger l)eauing ^Irs. Somerville, our red-coated Romford escorting ^liss Shannon, that the fcAcr of excitement arose. The opening dance Avas just over, the couples Avere sweeping the floor Avith their trains, AAdiile the cliaperoups sat by criticising their partners, some feeling satisfied, others thinking they could have 364 ME. FACET EOMFORD'S HOUNDS. made a better selection. In a semicircnlar bay at the high end of the room, wherein they adjusted as well the weights and scales as the consequence of the county, was an imposing array of diamonded dowagers, looking terribly severe in their dignity of state. These were the titled patronesses, whose magnetic influence attracted sovereigns from the pockets of parties little accustomed to voluntary contributions. Even Ten-and-a-half-per-Cent. him- self has been drawn. As the Beldou party entered the room, and gradually approached the crescent of consequence, eye-glasses Avere raised, and inquiries were — " Who are these ? " " Who have we here ? " eliciting whispers of — " Oh ! this will be Mrs. Somer- ville." " This will be Mr. Romford's sister." The tirst questions being quickly followed by — " Who is this with her ? " " Who is the man with the star ? " A question that was not quite so easily answered. On, on, our gallant party went, just as Lord Cardigan went against the cannon, only instead of charging right into them, they now wheeled round, our fair friends feeling satisfied that the dowagers could not take any more exception to the backs of their dresses than they could to the fronts. So they sailed slowly down the room agaia, looking out lor admiration as they went. Before, however, the party had got half way down the room there was a run upon our fair friends, Ten-and-a-half-per-Cent. claiming Mrs. Somerville, while young Joseph Large and Lovetin Lonnergan hastily disposed of their then partners in order to be first for Miss Howard. Large, however, got the lady, Lovetin not being able to find his partner's chaperone so soon as the other, but Miss Howard made it all right by a sweet smile, and saying, " I'll dance next dance with you, Mr. Lonnergan." So Lovetin stood by, admiring her elegant figure and performance, thinking if father ivoiild but die he would marry her and set her up in Flush House to-morrow. Then came Lovetin's turn — a quadrille — and Miss Howard was equally assiduous with him, for, with a father to die on each side, there really was not any great choice between the two thick-headed suitors. Large then had the pleasure of looking on and seeing that "lout Lovetin " getting all the sweet dimple-making smiles and smirks which, with a certain quantity of eye and tongue work, constitute what ladies call flirtation. Then, as they couldn't both dance with her at once, they began to engage Mrs. Somerville for what Facey called the " bye days," and she adroitly insinuated to each that he was the especial favourite, and that Miss How^ard did not care a halfpenny for the other. She also intimated Miss Howard would have a large fortune from her grandmother, who was very old and much addicted to drink. 31B. FACEY EOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 365 Thus quickened, each resolved, if possible, to steal a march upon the other. Facey and Sir Roger were thus left alone, and Facey renewed his introductions of his friend — ^Ir. Crackenthorpe, Sir Roger Ferguson ; Sir Roger Ferguson, Mr. Elsome ; Mr. Thomas Tongue, Sir Roger Ferguson. And Mr. Tongue, who was a general acquaintanceship man, believed he had had the honour of meeting Sir Roger before at their mutual friend Lord Lumbago's, if he mistook not ; a fact that Sir Roger then perfectly recollected, and was much obliged to his friend, Mr. Tongue, for reminding him. And Sir Roger tendered his hand very cordially in return. Then the two old friends walked about the room, and when people afterwards asked Tongue who that was with the star, he replied, " Oh, that's my old friend, Sir Roger Ferguson ; haven't seen him these twenty years, never since we met at our poor friend Lord Lumbago's." And Sir Roger Ferguson, being now pretty well laid in for acquaintance, told Romford not to mind him any more, but to get himself suited with a nice useful little short-legged woman, and go in for a dance. And the lisper making the grand entry just at the moment, our hero claimed her fair hand at once for a waltz, which he executed so clumsily as to draw forth a mental observa- tion from Sir Roger that Mr. R. must be a better hand at riding than he was at dancing. And the dowagers, having now recon- noitred Sir Roger from afar, and thinking he was a nice whole- some-looking man with his clean linen, snow-white head and roseate hue, began to negotiate for an introduction, and think of admitting of his star into their august circle, for which purpose Lady de Tabby, who was a regular pedigree monger, instructed Mr. Thomas Tongue to tell his friend that a cousin of Lady Ferguson's would be glad to make his (Sir Roger's) acquaintance. And, though there was no regular Lady Ferguson for Lady de Tabby to claim relationship with, yet he went boldly in for the introduction, and was presently seated between Lady de Tabby and the Honourable Mrs. Freezer, to whom he was presently introduced by her ladyship. And Lady de Tabby, not driving the relationship scent beyond the first brush. Sir Roger let it drop also, and was presently engaged in criticising what he called the " field ; " this girl's looks, that one's figure and performances. Some he thought clever, but others, he said, wanted condition sadly. Thus Romford gained credit by Goodheart, and Good- heart lost nothing, except perhaps a few H's, which the noise of the room concealed as they fell. Meanwhile the l)all proceeded with great vigour : the floor was good, barring certain sockets about the centre of the room, used 366 MR. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. for settino- up the apparatus of conjurers and chairmen of quarter sessions, which those who had hit their toes against once, took care not to come in contact with a second time if they could help it, and though the three-and-fourpenny tea was a poor substitute f(jr Lord Lovetin's Cliquot champagne, so freely dispensed at Beldon Hall, yet it was better than nothing, and served to make a break in the evening's amusements. And in due time Sir Eoger Ferguson sailed grandly up the middle of the room with Lady de Tabby on one arm, and the Honourable Mrs. Freezer on the other, looking as consequential as a Lord Mayor in full fig. And Lady Camilla Snuff, who was in pretty much the same line of business as Lady de Tabby, and of course didn't like her, wondered who the pushing, tuft-hunting woman had got hold of now. Both the ladies in possession thought Sir Roger very agree- able, though he did not reciprocate by singing '* How happy could I l^e with cither,"' kc. The fact was, Sir Roger would rather have been in bed. And Mrs. Somerville played her cards so well between the rival suitors that Lovetin Lonnergan, who was the more ardent and impulsive of the two, screwed up his courage during the dancing of the '' Lancers " to sound Betsey Shannon if she would accept him conditionally — that is to say, accept him and keep the thing- snug until father would be good enough to die, which he insinuated <30uld not be very long, as he was seventy-six years of age, and getting very shaky on his pins. And Betsey, having the grande Toncle of the dance to consider the matter in, recollecting that Large had a father too, a tougher-looking one than Lord Lonnergan, and that an offer was an offer — a good thing under any circum- stances, she made as pretty a downcast simpering acceptance as she could raise, and at the conclusion of the dance was led, not to the hymenial altar, but to a smoking hot Gladstone claret cup now placed on the tea-table at the lower end of the room, wherein they pledged each other their troth. *' Mrs. Lovetin Lonnergan, your very good health." " Mr. Lonnergan, your good health," whispered Betsey, turning her beautiful blue eyes full upon him. So they clenched the bargain. Then meeting Mrs. Somerville, who was now fanning the flame of young Large's ardour, telling him about the rich grandmamma addicted to drink, Betsey gave her a knowing look which, with a slight sideways jerk of her pretty head at her partner, as good as said " I've captured this cock." And the Honourable Lovetin Lonnergan, flushed with success MH. FACET ROMFORirS HOUNDS. 367 and the iuflueuce of the claret cup, looked at his opponent in a triumphant sort of way, as much as to say, "I pity you, old boy ! " But Large, nothing daunted by the haughty appearance of the tenant in possession — on the contrary, rather encouraged by the agreeable intelligence just conveyed by ^Irs. Somerville — returned his supercilious stare with another, and a tolerably loud exclamation of " What a lout that young Lonnergan is ! " And now Mrs. Somerville, having primed them both, and Sir Roger Ferguson having got rid of his tabbies, Mrs. Somerville and he did the consequential up and down the ball-room together, ehcitino: bets from the acute and censorious as to how long it would be before she was Lady Ferguson. •• Too old for her by half," said one. " Ah, but a ' star ' will compensate for all that," observed another, '' Fresh old fellow, too," muttered a third. " What will old Bonus say ? " asked a fourth. " Xever marry such an old rat as that," said a fifth. Then the music sprang up again, and Sir Roger and Mrs. Somerville stood criticising the performers, remarking on this one's head, that one's shoulders, t'other one's feet. People do not work themselves so severely at a pay ball as they do at a gratis one. They seem as if they could get enough for their money, and having had it, go away. Whether it is the absence of the Cliquot, or gooseberry, as the case may be, or that they think it does not look well to stay too late, we know not ; but certain it is, that there is always a great deal of forethought and arrangement about getting away. On this occasion the stately patronesses began to move first ; and Sir Roger Ferguson's services were again enlisted in calling up and putting them into their carriages, which he did with the ease and agility of a London linkman. Then all the chaperon fs began looking at their variously-going watches, trying amongst them to cast the nativity of the time, followed by rushes at their panting yet avoiding charges, urging them not to engage them- selves for any more dances, assuring them, perhaps, that the carriage had been called up a dozen times, or that it was an hour iind a-half later than it really was. So at length the elfervescence of the evening gradually died out : and, in lieu of sparkling eyes and twirling gauze, hooded nun-like ladies were seen hurrying along the passage, enveloped in the wraps and disguises of the night. Then came the desc3nt of the scaling-ladder, the groping past the wings of the now deserted stage, and the ascent into the great family coach, or the squeeze into the curiously contrived turbot-wells of modern times. Away they drive, amid the varied 368 ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. thoughts and reflections of the hour. Those who have done well hug themselves with the recollection of it ; those who have done little make the most of that little, and, casting forward to the future, hope for better luck another time. Foremost in the happy party was our friend Betsey Shannon, who could hardly wait until the melon frame got clear of the jolty cobble-stones of Butter wick ere she announced to her fair companion (Sir Eoger and Facey being outside), that she had brought him to book. *' Well, which ? " exclaimed Lucy, who had forwarded both their suits so evenly as to be unable to say which was likely to be the winner. " Lovetin I " replied Betsey, with emphasis. " Bravo, Lovetin ! " exclaimed Lucy, clapping her pretty hands. '' Bravo, Lovetin ! " repeated she. " Ah, now ! if father would but die,"' she added, with a laugh. " Well, it's not to be till then," rejoined Betsey. "Ah, but I wouldn't stand that," said Lucy. "Make him marry you now, dear, and keep it snug till father does die, if Lovetin likes. * Safe bind, safe find,' is a capital maxim." " Well, but suppose he won't ? " said Betsey, who did not like to lose the chance of being Mrs. Lonnergan. " Then take t'other chap ; he's quite as good a catch as Lovetin, only his pa is a little younger ; but then, on the other hand, they say Pippin Priory is a much better place than Flush House." "'' True," ruminated Betsey, " true ; " adding, " either would do very well." " He's sure to offer," observed Lucy, " sure to offer. I'm only surprised he hasn't done it to-night. I primed him up that you were a member of one of the oldest families in Wales, and had a boskey old grandmother at Leighton-Buzzard, who would leave you a hatful of money." "Indeed," laughed Betsey, joyfully. "Anything better than dancing at Highbury Barn. If Large has the pull in the face way, t'other has it in the figure." " Oh, all cats are grey in the dark," rejoined Lucy. " You catch one of them, and get a home of your own ; for there's nothing so bad as dependence." " True," assented Miss Shannon. The two ladies then leant back in the carriage, each following a line of scent of her own ; Betsey thinking what a dash she would cut at Flush House (for the Honourable had inducted her into the anticipated carriage splendour), Lucy thinking how to play Large off against Lonnergan, so as to secure one or other for her friend. At length Lucy spoke, breaking in upon an imaginary carriage airing that Betsey was taking with her lovely Lonnergan. MB. FACET ROMFOED'S HOUNDS, 869 " Oh, I would make him marry you off-hand now," said she, reverting to her former position. " If he won't, Joe Large will. Indeed, as I said before, I only wonder he didn't offer to-night." " Well, I think he will," replied Betsey : " only, as he seemed to be leading up to the point, that stupid matter-of-fact hatter came up, and would have me to dance with him, and stuck to us till I did." *' Stupid marplot ! " muttered Lucy ; " these sort of boobies think that people come to balls to do nothing but dance ; whereas every one knows that the real business of a ball is either to look out for a wife, to look after a wife, or to look after somebody else's wife. However, never mind," continued she, drawing the buffalo skin coverlid up to her chin, " never mind. Large will come to call before long, and then we will see what we can do, for * sharp ' must be the word, — first come first served, the rule. Such chances as these don't occur every day ; and though people are good enough to take us at our own price at present, yet there is no saying how soon a change may come, and then they would be equally furious the other way ; so we must just strike while the iron's hot, and capture one or other of the idiots." So saying, she gradually sunk off in a doze, and the next thing that occurred was the tapping of Independent Jimmy's great knuckles at the melon-frame window, announcing that they were back at Beldon Hall. '' Noo, then, get oot ! " said he, clattering down the harsh iron steps, and leaving them to effect the descent as they could. The ladies and gentlemen hurried into the house, and discarding their wraps, they awoke Dirtiest of the Dirty, who was dosing over the breakfast-room fire, dreaming of Percival Pattycake. They discussed the events of the evening over some of Lord Lovetin's best Cognac brandy ; and at twenty minutes to four^ Mr. Romford moved the adjournment of the debate. 370 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. CHAPTER LVII, THE COUNTESS OF CAPERINGTON. RS. SOMER- VILLE was right in the ad- vice she gave Miss Shannon, when coming liome from the Infirmary Ball, to get married as quick as she could, for things at Beldon Hall liad gone so ex- tremely well that Lucy feared a reverse. She thought it was too good to last. We often see things in this world go so smoothly at first that there seems no chance of a failure, when all of a sudden they take a turn, and down they come with a run. Certainly, amongst them our friends at Beldon Hall combined as much duplicity as could well be contained in a party of four. First there was Mr. Romford, acting the turbot-on-its-tail, de- ceiving poor Lord Lovetin, Lord Lonnergan, and all ; then there was Mrs. Sponge, calling herself Mrs. Somerville, and Betsey Shannon, arrogating the distinguished name of Hamilton Howard : and now the old Clerkenwell " 'oss dealer," Mr. Goodhearted Green, passing himself off for a baronet. All or any were liable to be detected at any moment — Mr. Romford by Lord Lovetin's making his long-meditated journey to England, Mrs. Somerville by the frequenters of theatres and cigar shops, Miss Shannon by half the counter-skippers in London, and Sir Roger Ferguson by any stray tourist or stableman with whom he had ever done business. BELDON HALL. 2IB. FACEY BOMFOBB'S HOUNDS. 3'71 The only way onr friends bore up against the accumulation of deceit was, by never thinkino' of the consequences. Enough for the day was the evil thereof, they all felt. There was no disputing one thing, namely, that they had been most wonderfully favoured, and that people seemed quite as much inclined to deceive them- selves as they were to deceive them. But a day of reckoning always comes at last, though in this case neither man nor woman was the immediate cause of its advent. Leotard, the wondrous Leotard, the cream-coloured lady's horse, who has already played such a conspicuous part in our s'itory, was now destined to fulfil still greater achievements. The lust we heard of him was, when the boy Bill satisfied himself of his paces by private trial at Tarring Neville, while Mr. Ptomfurd and Mrs. Somerville were regaling after the hunt with the considerate Mrs. AYatkins's bag fox. Since then Mrs. Somerville had ridden Leotard Avith varying success and satisfaction, the horse some- times going remarkably well, sometimes only middling— oftener, perhaps, middling than well — at other times ifl, or rather not at all. Lucy, however, never risked an open rupture with him. If she found he was going to be queer, she went home with him, pre- tending that his way was hers also. So the horse maintained his reputation for beauty and docility. Mrs. Somerville and her horse were always greatly admired : people were proud to open the gates for her. Foremost among the horse's admirers was Independent Jimmy's friend, Mr. Hazey, or Second-hand Harry, as he was commonly called. Hazcy was always on the look-out for horses, not so much to supply his own wants as to know where to lay hands on them, in case he could place them to advantage, — that is to say, get a little more for them than he gave. He w\as always touting, and sneaking, and "do-you-know-anything-to-suit-me-ing ? " every man he met. Cheating in horses has become quite a science*. Formerly the dealers had the monopoly, but what they now facetiously call the " gentlemen " have trod heavily on their heels of late. They are more skilful, more unscrupulous, and, we really think, lie better. The fact is, the real professionals haven't time to concoct the ingenious and elaborate schemes now hit ofp by the disengaged idler. Moreover, the amateurs have access to society that the dealers have not ; know the haunts and habits of victim"? better, and how to cajole them. What is the waste of a week to a man who has nothing what- ever to do but sit in the Park and pick his teeth with a quill? But time is money with a horse-dealer. He may have to be in Edinburgh, or Exeter, or Horncastle, while the other gentleman is arranging his plant. 372 MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. Hazej had a great connection in what Mr. Thackeray would have called the "Eoundabout" line — many touts, many spies, many stable sneaks, many idle gentlemen, looking out for him. He knew how to keep the lower order of veterinary surgeons in good humour, so as to get them to pass almost anything. One of his cardinal rules was, never to tell where a horse came from. If he bought him in Cheshire, he would declare he came from Shrop- shire ; if he came from the east, he would say he came from the west. In this there was good policy, for there is nothing so easy as to find out all about a horse, provided you can but find out where he comes from. Every ostler and helper can tell you some- thing, and they generally speak truly, too. Tommy will "mind" his being foaled ; Jacky will remember his being backed ; Tomkins can tell when he was shod ; and plenty will remember Avhen he first came out with the hounds, with Willy AVinship on his back, who, of course, showed them all the way. Now, as ill-luck would have it, among Mr. Hazey's many mis- cellaneous friends, Avas the well-known Captain Coper, late of that distinguished corps, the Horse Marines, who, at this juncture, knew a man who knew a " female woman " who knew a gentleman who knew the Right Honourable the Countess of Caperington, and her ladyship wanted a horse — a perfect lady's horse — for which her noble husband would give any reasonable price. And a lady in that position not being likely to remain long unsuited, — at all events, unsolicited, — she Avas presently besieged with horses of all sorts and sizes : bay horses, brown horses, black horses, a great variety of horses ; but unless a party is properly introduced, that is to say, has made a satisfactory arrangement with the middle-man, he has very little chance of effecting a deal, and the Countess had rejected horse after horse that might have suited her uncommonly well if they had not been crabbed by the go- between, who, of course, had not been properly propitiated. At length Captain Coper (who had then lately been rusticating "over the water") heard of her Ladyship's want, and bestirred himself to supply it. Resolving in his capacious mind the various parties he had done business with, he came to the conclusion that Mr. Hazey, being a master of hounds, would be the most likely (supposing they could agree upon terms) to supply the deficiency and obtain a long price. So he wrote " Dear Hazey " a letter, asking what he had in the lady's horse line, and the percentage he would stand for an introduction to a real live Countess in want of a perfect picture of a horse. And Hazey, albeit he had a horse or two that had something in the habit line, to wit. Bill's gallant grey, and a bay that dug its toes into the ground at each tenth step, and shied at everything it met on the road, yet he still MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 373 thought they were hardly up to the exalted honour of carrying a Countess — no doubt a pretty one, as Countesses always are. If she had been a commoner, he would have tried it on with these, declarin.s: thece were not two such paragons in the world, and were both so good that he didn't care which he sold. But a Countess might be made available in a variety of ways : she might call on Mr. Hazey in London — she might present Anna Maria at Court, perhaps, which would be extremely agreeable. And the thought of Anna Maria presently brought Mr. Romford to his recollection, and in due course came Mrs. Somerville and her beautiful cream-coloured horse. '* Ah, there now ! — there was an animal ! " mused Hazey, with a chuck of his chin ; '*the very thing, if Mrs. Somerville would but sell him. And there was no saying but she might sell him — didn't see why she shouldn't sell him. He was sure he would sell him if he had him, and could get a good price." Then the recollection of Facey and the hospital for decayed sportsmen rather checked him. They might be extra- independent, to be sure, but still he didn't see why he mightn't sound them ; so he set Bill to set Silkey, to set Storey the hoi'se- breaker, to set big Rumbold the veterinary surgeon of Burchester, to ferret out what chance there was of Mrs. Somerville selling Leotard. And noAv, whilst they are busy prosecuting their inquiries, we will say a few words respecting the Countess of Caperingtou herself. The Right Honourable the Countess of Caperington, we need scarcely say, was not always the Countess of Caperington : no, nor anything approaching one. In fact, she began life as an actress, as Miss Spangles of the Theatre Royal, Bungington. Here lier beauty and ardent coquetry captivated a fast young baronet, the late Sir Harry Scattercash, of ^Nionsuch House in G shire. Miss Spangles became Lady Scattercash, and did the honours of the house with great liberality so long as there was any house to do the honours in. All the sock-and-buskin tribe had a hearty welcome at Xonsuch House, and long and serious were the symposia that ensued, Mrs. Somerville, then Lucy Glitters, had the run of the house, and it is not unlikely that what she there saw taught her how to manage matters at Beldon Hall. And of all the sock-and-buskin tribe none was more truly welcome than that celebrated actor Mr. Orlando Bugles, late of the Surrey Theatre. Bugles had a bed whenever he liked to run down : nor Avas he shy in availing himself of his privilege. Drinking, however, is only a question of time, and sooner or later has always the same ending. Worn out with debauchery and premature decay. Sir Harry Scattercash presently departed 374 MR. FACET BOMFOBB'S HOUNDS. this life at the early age of thirty-two, and where conkl the lovely widow seek for sweeter solace than on the manly bosom of Mr. Bugles. Lady Scattercash married hitn. But beloved Orlando, we are sorry to say, took to evil ways also — brandy-and- water Avas his bane too ; and twice in three years Lady Scattercash found herself a widow. Having seen Bugles buried, '■'' b-e-a-2(-tifu\\j put away," as she described it, she again came to town, and presently terminated an engagement at the Lord LoAvther music saloon by running away. The next thing heard of her was, that she had become the Countess of Caperington ! How this came about nobody knows but the Earl and Countess themselves, and being a lady before; the marriage this match excited far less attention than it would have done had it been contracted with Miss Spangles. Sir Charles Bridoon, the next taker of the title, or the Ladies Oaresson, the EarPs sisters, might complain and say, "Who is this Lady Scattercash ? " but the world at large Avere content to take her Ladyship as a true and correct Countess. And, indeed, so far as looks were concerned, she was an ornament to the Peerage, for she was just in the full development of womanly beauty — fiit, fair, and thirty, with as much ease and viv^acit^y as Betsey Shannon herself. The Earl was as proud of her as if he had married her first-hand, and was never tired of contemplating her beautiful face under a variety of bonnets. Not only bonnets, but hats, caps, hoops, everything that appeared in the chronicles of fashion. When her Ladyship's carriage drew up \yith a dash at Mrs. Sly- boots' the milliner's, in the commercial town of Worryworth, there used to be such a commotion raised in the shop, to the neglect of all the rest of the customers, Mrs. Boots breaking off in her re- commendation of thirteen-and-ninepenny bonnets for tw^o guineas, with " Mary ! " " J;ine ! " " Susan ! " to her elegant young people who Avere serving, " look out ! — look out ! Here's the Countess of Caperington coming! — here's the Countess of Caperington coming ! " as if all people's wants were to succumb to those of her Ladyship. Then there was such curtseying, " your Ladyship- ping," and worshipping, as if nobody's custom was worth anything compared to her Ladyship's. Our business at present, however, is to get the Countess a horse ; so, leaving her to turn over the contents of Mrs. Slyboots* shop at her leisure, we will proceed to inquire after Mr. Hazey's success in the equestrian line. 3IB. FACEY R03IF0BD\S HOUNDS. 375 CHAPTER LYIII. THE DEAL. Mr. Rumbold, the veterinary surgeon, did not take much by his journey to Beldon Halh the fact was, Mr. Facey had his servants better drilled than to give information to^ people merely because they wanted to have it ; and our friend being a bib of a vet himself," Rumbold was just about the last man he wanted to see hanging about his stables. Nor was Hazey more successful with either Jowers the blacksmith, or Mr. Golightly the exciseman : for Chowey spun one of them out of his stable, and Swig the other. And Captain Coper being exigean/.—haxiug, as he wrote, many applications from other parties anxious to suit the fair Countess with a horse, Hazey was obliged to "Dear Romford" our hero, and to have recourse to the lie applicable to the occasion. Thus he wrote : — " Taerixg Neville, ' Thuesday night. "Dear Romford.—/ chanced to hear out Jniniing to-cJaij that Mrs. Somerville has some thought of parting inth her cream-coloured horse {Blondin, I think she calls kim); and I urile to sag that if it should happen to he the case, I think I know of a ladg who wouU he likely to he a purchaser. Of course, at this time of year, ladies horses are not in great demand ; hut I think, with a little manage- ment, ire might get what is fair and right, which I am sure is all that either of us would think 'of requiring. I hope this sale, if true, is not a sigii of Airs. Somerville s departure, for we can ill afford to lose so ornamental an appendage to our hunting-fields and to societg in general. 3frs. Hazeg and mg daughter heg their kind regards to her and Miss Herhert, luith, my dear Romford, " Yours very truly, " H. Hazey. " Feancis Romfoed, Esq., " Beldon Hall, Doubleimupshiee." The letter came very opportunely, for Sir Roger Ferguson was still at Beldon Hall, which enabled our ^Master to arrange with him the price of the horse, as well as to use Sir Roger as an incentive to the intending purchaser. There is generu'ly a fat- o-oose in every hunt, who is. the reputed purchaser of all the horses 376 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, that other people want to sell, and your regular "sticker" for ])rice can never give a direct answer, without first indulging in a great, long exordium as to what said goose will give. So Sir Roger was now selected to fill the honourable post of puffer to Leotard. Lucy therefore wrote, on her own account, to say that her horse was for sale, and, by a single coincidence, their friend, Sir Roger Ferguson, w'as anxious to purchase him for a Park hack for himself ; but, hearing that a lady wanted him, with his usual gallantry, the worthy Baronet consented to waive his preference, and let Mr. Hazey's friend have the refusal of him. Then, with- out saying anything about the horse's merits, defects, or peculiari- ties, she branched off upon the weather, hoping the frost would soon give, and enable the poor pent-up fox-hunter to take the field!" and reciprocated Miss Hamilton Howard's and her own «-ood wishes to Mrs. Hazey and family, and volunteered to send Mr. Romford's and Sir Roger's also. Then, in a postscript, she adroitly added, that Sir Roger had offered il50 for Leotard, at which price Mr. Hazey could have him. The answer rather staggered friend Haze}', for £150 was a London price — quite an immense one in the country, where they expect to get two or three horses for that money ; added to which, Hazey's own profit and Captain Coper's regulars would bring the price up to a couple of hundred. Theu, on the other hand, there was a Countess and a Baronet to operate upon ; and, all things considered, Hazey thought he should not be doing himself injustice if he wrote Coper word he had a perfect animal at command for £175 ; adding, that the Countess must be quick in her decision, for there was a Baronet after the horse, who didn't stick at price. Hazey then gave a very minute description of Leotard, so glowing and flattering that few could resist him. Coper was a dashing dealer, always rounding his figures anr^ going for guineas, and immediately made Hazey's £175 into two hundred guineas, at which price he wrote the man who knew the " female woman " who knew the gentleman who was acquainted with the Countess of Caperington, that a perfect lady's horse could be had. He also copied the descriptive part of Mr. Hazey's letter, and dwelt on the fact of the Baronet's competition. Arid the offer, in due course, came to the Countess. Now, two hundred guineas is a longish price for a hack ; but then it is a price that carries such respectabihty Avith it as almost to supersede the necessity of circumspection. "VVho would think of asking two hundred guineas for a horse that was not something out of the common way. A twenty-pounder is always a suspicious animal ; but three-figure horses sell themselves. Moreover, the Countess fancied the cream- MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 377 colour ; thought she would look well upon it, with its flowing mane and tail ; and so there was nothing for it but to have it. A cheque was therefore transmitted by the circuitous route that the message had come. Coper then docked off his " regulars ; " Hazey took his ; and, finally, Mrs. Somerville received a hundred and fifty pounds for a horse that Goodhearted Green had bought for the various sums, of thirteen pounds, twelve, and eleven. Xot that Lucy got the money ; but Mr. Hazey's cheque was drawn in her favour ; and she had to indorse it ere Mr. Romford and Goodheart could manipulate the money, according to the peculiar arrangement that existed between them. CHAPTER LIX. THE DISASTER. — THE " LORD HILL " HOTEL AXD POSTIX'G-HOUSK. The Earl and Countess of Caperington were staying at their seat, Caperington Castle, enjoying the old-womanly sport of hat- lueing^ when the wondrous Leotard arrived. Here they were, entertaining a semi-distinguished party — not quite good enough to advertise, perhaps, but still very sounding in titles. Two or three dowagers, who lived half the year at their OAvn expense and half at other people's ; some distinguished foreigners, some equally distinguished Englishmen. The guests being chiefly of the ad- hesive order, were about tired of each other ; consequently any- thing that created conversation was extremely acceptable. Leotard now^ furnished some. He was greatly praised and admired by all— all excepting ^Ir. Eustler, who called himself his Lordship's stud-groom, though the stud only consisted of a few ponies. Bustler had not been pro- perly propitiated in the £ — s — d transaction, and thought Leotard had been punctured for a spavin, though nothing of the sort had ever been done. Indeed, if Leotard's mental qualifications had been as good as his bodily ones, he would have been a very nice horse, and well worth a hundred pounds. But, like many bipeds, he could better bear adversity than picspcrity, and as soon as ever he got his condition up a little, back came all his bad qualities. He then would not do anything he didn't like, and if coerced, re- sented it. He then either kicked the party over his head, or, in the language of the low dealer, "saluted the general " — that is to say, reared up on end. Xow Leotard, with a perversity that had always distinguished 37S MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, liim, went perfectly well on the first days of trial : the Countess's Avay being apparently his, and the Countess's pace also. When, however, he became better acquainted with the roads and the country, he began to exercise a judgment of his own ; aud one day, when the Countess wanted to canter across the grass sidings of the Bosendale road, to meet the overladen market coaches, Leo- tard insisted upon taking her to Tewkesbury. Not that he had any acquaintance at Tewkesbury — indeed, we dare say if she had pulled him up for Tooksbury, as she called it, he would have in- sisted upon going to Rosendale. It was just a spirit of contradic- tion — a sort of equine aAvkwardness that nobody could account for. The Countess, however, had a spirit too ; and, moreover, had no idea of a horse, for which her noble husband had given such a liberal price, presuming to exercise a will of his own. So she just administered the whip — one, two, three ; but before she got four the horse was up straight on end, and the Countess was down over his tail. It was just Mrs. Rowley Rounding over again. Then off went the horse, full tilt at first, but not finding himself pursued, he relaxed into a snorting, tail-distended, head-diverging Irot, as though he were surveying the landscape — much after the manner of the Benicia Boy. Geneial chasers made a "click" at him, as they called it ; but Leotard evaded them all, and entered Caperington Park just as the noble Earl and his party opened fire on the rabbits on Fourburrow Hill. Then there was such a com- motion, and sending off, and running heel, to track the offender back to the site of the dissolution of partnership. The Countess, however, had tucked up her habit, and one of the before-men- tioned overladen market coaches coming up, she hailed it, and made three on the box, sitting between the coachman and a puffy butcher from Bassetlaw. Thus she met the affiighted party, casing their minds but not her own, for she was very angry witli the horse, and wanted to give him a good whipping. When, how- ever, she saw him stand and deliver Mr. Bustler like a shot, she thought she had better do it by deputy ; still more so when she saw a helper share her own fate. The horse was then unanimously pronounced to be vicious. i^t this juncture there appeared upon the scene our rosy-gilled, silvery-haired friend, now no longer Sir Roger Ferguson, but the old original Goodhearted Green, of Brown Street, Bagnigge Wells Road. Goodhearb was so overcome with grief at the Countess's misfortunes, that he could scarcely find utterance for his sorrow. " Oh dear, he was distressed ! he was 'urt ! he didn't know the time when he had been so put about ! Hadn't slept a wink for two nights for thiukin' on't. The Countess ought never to get on to* such a quadruped again. He knew the 'uss — Avicked, mistetched MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 379 animal, that had been turned out of half the stables in London.^ People that sold such 'osses oiioht to be indicted for conspiracies." And after a good deal of similar palaverment, he concluded by sayino- he thought he knew a man who would give fourteen or fifteen pound for him ; which Goodheart affirmed was more than THE COUNTESS WAS DOWN. he was worth. And though it certainly was a miserably dejected fio-nre to take for a two-hundred-guinea horse, yet, when he won't do anythini,^ for his keep, what is the use of him ? So they just let him go,"hoping to get something back from Coper and Hazey. Coper, of course, could not be found ; and though Ilazey liked Countesses, he loved money more, and could not l)ear to part with his beloved gains. It was hard to lose the profit of. his labour, especially when he believed the objection to the horse was founded partly on caprice, and partly on incompetence. The boy Bill 380 MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. assured him that nothing could go better than the horse did the morning he tried him at Tarring Neville ; and certainly Mrs. Somerville rode him with the greatest ease and composure. If the Countess had given more for him than she liked, that was no reason for dissolving the bargain. Many people expected more than they got, and those who knew the least about horses always expected the most. Hazey had had many such, but none of them had ever got a halfpenny out of him. He didn't sell hands, only horses. The horse, we need scarcely say, was soon back into Beldon Hall, undergoing the treatment and discipline necessary for keeping him in something like subjection ; and when Mr. Hazey heard that Mrs. Somerville was riding him as usual, he gained confidence in his cause, and asserted boldly that the horse was as quiet as a lamb, and had doubtless been ridden injudiciously, or spoiled by mismanagement. The Countess felt piqued at this announcement, conceiving that it conveyed an imputation on her horsemanship ; for though she was not in reality a good rider, yet she thought she was, and perhaps was more sensitive on the point than if she had really been one. The Earl, too, backed her opinion, seeing that she sat w^ell on her horse and looked the equestrian ; and the party generally favoured the view that the horse w^as vicious. Hazey, however, held out the other way ; and for once believing his own story, stated that the fact was capable of proof, for the horse might be seen with the Larkspur Hounds almost every day in the week ; Mr. Hazey, perhaps, not thinking that any one would be at the trouble of making the long journey for the purpose of seeing. Here, however, he was mistaken, for railways have annihilated distance ; and having got a locality to work upon, the Countess talked and fretted, and fretted and talked, till she worked herself up into a resolution to go and see. It" anybody would go with her, she would really go and see. She Avould like uncommonly to go and see. She thouo-ht it would be very good fun to go and see. And a lady in that mood not being likely to remain unescorted, especially when she paid the expenses first, Major Elite, and then Mrs. Mountravers — both staying guests — volunteered their services to accompany her into Houbleimupshire. And as none of them had ever been there before, or had the slightest idea how to get to it, the expedition furnished abundant food for conversation ; first to find out what part of Doubleimupshire Mr. Romford hunted ; secondly, how it was to be got at, and, thirdly, where the meets of the hounds were. To this end maps, and books, and " Bell's Lifcs," and "Brad- MR. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, 381 sliaws " were consulted, and calculations made for train meeting, and crossing, and catching. Then came the sorting and packing and arranging for the journey, the Countess taking as much luggage as in former times would have served a traveller to India, all, of course, directed — so that they who run might read — "To the Right Honourable the Countess of Caperington." Then there was such a to-do about her Ladyship's man, and her Ladyship's maid, and her Ladyship's this, and her Ladyship's that. At length they got started as well from the castle as from the neighbouring station of Lilleytield, and, after numerous halts, and stops, and changes, with the usual variations of speed peculiar to different trains and systems of railway, they found themselves, towards sunset, contemplating the tall spire of Dirlingford Church from a dumpy little station about a mile from the town. Railways which make some places ruin others, and Dirlingford had suffered the latter fate. The railway seemed to have sucked all the life out of it— taken it all up to Pickering Xook. So few passengers stopped there that the solitary omnibus did not meet every train, and now that the driver had got a haul in the graceful person of the Countess and her attendants, he seemed appalled at the quantity of luggage. Didn't know how he should ever get it up. Independent Jimmy would have had it on during the time this one was looking at it. At last, with the aid of the porter, he got it accompHshed, and the party being now seated — " Where to ? " was the question. " Head Inn ! " was the answer. " That'll be the ' Lord 'ill,' then," said he, and, hurrying round to his horses he mounted his box and drove down to the town. The "Lord Hill" hotel and posting house, at Dirlingford, was a good sample of the old-fashioned way-side inn, now fast dis- appearing before the march of modern civilisation. It was a great gaunt four-storeyed small-windowed red brick house, standing right in the middle of the High Street, its front-door reached by an iron-railed flight of steep stone steps. On the right of the door was a caged bell that had announced the coming of many a carriage ;"on the left the name of the landlord, John Scorer, with the words " neat wines, neat post-chaises " below. Above the door was the sign of the house, the " Lord Hill," a faded warrior in fall uniform, powdered and pig-tailed according to the prevailing fashion of the day. At one time it kept twelve pair of post-horses, besides a few that worked on the farm, and seven long coaches changed horses at it twice a day. Great were the gains from the unfortunate victims whom necessity compelled to take the road in those days. They were treated much like cattle at a market, pushed and squeezed and fed anyhow. It was for the great magnates of the 382 MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. road that the landlord's attention and civility were reserved. Then, when the bow-legged *'next boy out" descried the coming carriage, he gave the caged door-bell such a ringing as caused a similar commotion in the house to that which attended the coming of the Countess of Caperington to Mrs. Slyboots' the milliner's, at Worryworth. The " Lord Hill " was convulsed. And the mention of her Ladyship reminds us that we have got her and her party in the Dirlingford omnibus, from whicli we had better extract them as soon as we can. One disadvantage of the now universal use of public conveyances undoubtedly is, that consequence does not get properly attended to. AVhen that the . maid dresses so much finer than the mistress, it is difficult at first sight to distinguish between them — to say which is which. The Countess, however, was not one of that sort, and always dressed as became her exalted station, and the 'bus had scarcely stopped at the " Lord Hill " hotel and posting-house door ere it was l)ruited throughout that a great lady had come. Then down went Scorer's pipe on the inner bar table. Mrs. Scorer adjusted her antiquated frilled cap in the looking-glass, the old bed-gowned chambermaid, Rebecca, slid downstairs, holding on by the banisters, and Timothy, the bald-headed, short-breeched antediluvian waiter, with some- thing between a napkin and a duster in his hand, waddled out of the commercial room to join the commotion in the passage. Great was the bobbing and bowing and curtseying and your Ladyship- ping, great the gesticulation to induce them to get forw^ard out of the way of the now-coming boxes, and ascend the narrow staircase to the gloomy regions above. Of course there wasn't a fire in any of the rooms, " but they would light one directly," Scorer said. And to this end Rebecca began to strike a light with a flint and steel in the " Trafalgar," declaring she could get one sooner that way than with a lucifer-match. The " Lord Hill," was a close, frowsy old house, from which every breath of air seemed to be excluded by heavily-dressed curtains before the never-opened windows. The sitting-rooms were large and low, their lowness being further aggravated by most oppressively heavy mouldings on the ceilings. It was enough to give one the nightmare to think of such ceilings. As to those grand old temples of suffocation, the large four-post beds in the small rooms, the large boot-jack, the diminutive towel, and in- soluble soap, they are yet to be found in most countries, and need not be described. We also pass by as well the order for, as the incidents of, the mutton-chop dinner — the offer of e\ery thing, with the reduction to nothing ; the battered copper-betraying side-dishes, the green hoclv, and dull needle-case-shaped champagne- glasses, with the strong loathsome cheese that followed the dry ME. FACI:Y EOJIFOED'S HOUNDS: 383 unpalatable tarfc. Let lis suppose the evening spent ; the long wax lights replaced by short ones, and our tired travellers ott' to bed, to sleep, to dream, or perchance be bit by bugs. Those who have watched the progress of public conveyances, seen how the fastidiousness of former times has gradually dis- appeared before the lights of common-sense and utility, can have little doubt that another great change is coming over the nation in the matter of domestic economy. The universality of travel ; the extreme difficulty of getting servants at home — the hopelessness of managing them when got ; all tend to show that clubs, which answered so well for gentlemen, are about to be extended, to families, in the shape of the magnificent hotels now rising up all around, where, if people do pay for accommodation, they at all events get an equivalent for their money. CHAPTER LX. SPITE OF ALL AND STAXD AGAINST ALL. Mr. Facey Romford, like most good sportsmen, eschewed show meets : he also avoided making them at inns or public- houses. He had no fancy for being waylaid by skirmishers on the look-out in the highways and byways, to bring in all they could catch to be stuffed with a second breakfast before he had half digested the first. Still less to have his hounds pressed upon or ridden over by pot-valiant horsemen fresh from the joys of the tap or the table. Hence some of his meets were rather ambiguous, especially to strangers, of which, however, there were few came into the country. A bridge, a milestone, or guide-post were all favourite places of his ; but among the anonymous ones was a place called Spite of All, whose locality was difficult to fix. The name was not very promising, suggestive more of the tenacity of the squatter than the politeness of the country. And Spite of All was one of those troublesome encroachments against which the Lord Lonnergans of former times used to be content to issue their edicts without seeing them enforced. Spite of All had therelbre become a freehold, and had to be respected, notwithstanding it stood on the domains of a Duke. But it so happened that Spite of All was not the only place of this description in Double- imupshire. On the north-east side was its duplicate, called Stand against All, and people in the hurry of the mcment were very apt to mistake one for the other. There was an obstinaie resistance ;]84 MR. FACET EOMFOBD'S HOUNDS, recorded against each, with a triumphal retention by both the parties in possession. Well, the meets of Mr. Eomford's hounds for the week were, Monday, Raw Marsh ; Wednesday, Thorncross Hill ; Friday Spite of All ; Saturday, the tenth milestone on the Larkspur Road. Friday is generally considered an unlucky day ; at all events a day that people do not generally choose for their pleasure expeditions ; and it was unlucky on this occasion ; for if the meet had been transposed, Friday the tenth milestone, and Saturday Spite of All, Mrs. Somerville would have been at Spite of All, and not at the road meet, while, in consequence of the confusion of manner and ideas, the Countess would have been at the road meet, iind not at Spite of All, so they would never have met, for Mr. Hazey picked up another customer for the Leotard horse before the Monday. But we anticipate. One might as well ask a hairdresser or a haberdasher about the meets of the hounds as the waiter at an inn, but attached to the '' Lord Hill " hotel was an antediluvian postboy — one Benjamin ]5ucktrout, the last of the twelve w4io had driven from that door — ■ whose geographical knowledge was said to be great. Bucktroufc Avas an illustration of the truth of the old saying, that nobody ever saw a dead postboy, for if he had been anything else he would have been dead long since. As it Avas there was little left of him but his chin and his hands, save what people might conjecture was in his jacket and boots. And the Countess of Caperington, who was accustomed to have everything arranged for her, told her maid l^riscilla, when she herself retired to her great tabernacle of a bed, to find out how^ long it would take to go to Spite of All, and to call her accordingly. Then Bucktrout being appealed tOj declared he knew the place quite well, and that it would take him an hour and twenty minutes to go there, part of the road being, he said, in a very indictable state of repair. And so he was ordered to time himself to be there at 10.30 to a minute, the Countess never allow- ing anyone to be unpunctual but herself. Accordingly next morning, Bucktrout, having made himself as great a swell as he could, — scrumpy red jacket, with blue glass buttons and tarnished silver lace at the black cotton-velvet collar and cuffs ; questionable breeches, with seedy boots, turned round a very passable queen's-coloored barouche with a gorgeous crown on the panel, drawn by a pair of high-boned, hard-featured white horses, the usual accompaniments of wedding festivities. Then the footman and Priscilla the maid, and the landlord and the land- lady, having made as much fuss and preparation as they could, what with cloaks and cushions and furs and footwarmers, stood ME. FACJEY HOMFOBD'S HOUNDS, 385 waiting the descent with a graduated sliding scale of spectators tapering away from the doorsteps down to the kennel. And, after a sufficient pause old Timothy announced that the " Countess was coming ! " the " Countess was coming ! " Then all was eyes right and attention : Bucktrout, subsiding in his saddle, contemplated his horses' ears, while John Thomas stood bolt upright, holding the carriage door in his right hand. Priscilla occupied the other side of the steps to assist the crinolines in their ascent into the carriage, while the rest of the party ranged themselves in a semi- circular tadlecm, after the manner of actors when the curtain is going to fall. The great people get in, the voluminous clothes are an-anged, and the door closed quickly to prevent an egression. " Right ! " cries the-gold-lace-hatted footman, as he jumps into the rumble, and away they bowled up the grass-grown High Street of Dirlingford, drawing many fair faces to the windows, and elicit- ing many ejaculations of " "Who can those be ? " " Who can those be ? " " Bless us, w^hat swells ! " Bucktrout did his best to keep the old nags np to their collars as they pottered over the uneven cobble-stones of the street, not knowing how a judicious display might tend to take the wind out of the sails of the opposition spicey greys at the " Golden Fleece " inn ; but as they got upon the level surface of the Silverdale Eoad the old gentleman gradually relaxed in his exertions nntil a very gentle rise in his saddle alone denoted that the horses were not walking — indeed, at one time, they looked as if they were all going to sleep together. Bucktrout was a ruminating old boy, and between cogitations as to whether he should drag down High Higson Hill, or risk it, where he w^as likely to get his dinner, and what the Countess would be likely to give him over his mileage for driving, he directed his attention to the question of getting to his destination. ''Stand agin All," muttered he— " Stand agin All ; that'll be by Pitzw^arren, and round the old tower to Happyfield Green and Bingland." " Stand agin All — Stand agin All. Sure it was Stand agin All that they said," continued he, rubbing his nose on the back of his old parchment-like glove as a sudden thought came across his mind, whether it was Stand agin All, or Spite of All that they said. " Sure it was Stand agin All, they said," repeated he, giving the led horse a refresher with his knotty whip, as if to get him to coincide in that view. Still Buckey had his doubts about it, and as he jipped and jogged he began, like a prudent general, to think how he should manage matters in case he was wTong. " Spite of All and Stand agin All were very nmch alike," he said ; '' one as 386 MB. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. bad as the other a'most ; couldn't make much differeucc which they went to. Most hkely it was one of those things they call pic-nicks, where folks make themselves as uncomfortable as they can, and call it pleasure. Sure, for his part, he would like to sit at a table with a clean cloth before him, and a knife and fork to eat with, instead of his fingers." Then he gave his own horse a dii? with his spur, by Avay of preserving the balance of pace. Meanwhile the Countess and party, having timed themselves as well as they could by their watches, began looking about for the usual indications of the chase— foot-people in a hurry, ^ grooms Avith their masters' horses, sedate gentlemen jogging on with their own. The Countess expected to see the naughty Leotard pop up at every point. But no ; neither pedestrian, nor equestrian, not even the man with the colt in the breaking-reins appears. Major Elite suggested that perhaps Mr. Romford's half-past ten meant eleven. Many masters of hounds, he said, were very unpunctual. The road, which for some time had been twisty and turny^ to say nothing of what the Countess called "cogglecy," presently became worse, being formed of nothing but soft field stones ground down to excellent housemaid's sand, and after a slow tug through its laborious depths, the old screws came to a standstill just oppo- site where another road branched off at right angles, and the veteran Bucktrout, turning half round in his saddle and pointing 'to a wretched mud cottage with a thatched roof built into a bank, announced with a grin and a touch of his greasy old hat, " Please 'um this be Stand agin All." " Stand against All I " exclaimed the Countess. " That s not the name of the place we want to be at ! jSpite of All, not Stand against All!" ^ ^ ^ " Well, mum, it's all the same, mum," replied Bucktrout, now satisfied of his error, but determined to brazen it out. " Some folks call it Spite of All, you see, my leddy, and others call it Stand agin All, you see, my leddy. It's the place you mean, the place they had the great 'size trial on aboot, before Lord Chief Justice Best and a special jury, which doubtless you've heard tell on." Bucktrout thinking it immaterial whether the Countess saw the cause of one assize trial or another. Both places had been in But here we may observe that Spite of All would have felt rather liumiliated by the comparison, for while Stand against All let itsr smoke out of the four-square-paned window or the ricketty door, Spite of All had a fine fire-brick chimney rising boldly out of a sub- stantial grey roof ; two fairish windows, and a door that a moderate- sized man could get under without stooping. Moreover, Spite of Mli. FACEY IIOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. 387 All :^as in .a good country with fine wild foxes, and Facey Eom- ford knew where to find them. Be that as it may, however, here were our fi'iends at Stand against All, and though Bucktrout's assertion had an air of plausibility about it, yet there were no hounds to back the decision. " Well, it's very odd," said the Countess, looking about with concern. " Must have mistaken the day," observed Major Elite. "No," rejoined her ladyship firmly ; "I'm certain I'm right. Friday, Spite of All ; Saturday, the tenth milestone on the Lark- spur Eoad." " Or the hour," suggested Mrs. Mountravers, looking at her watch, which however afforded little assistance, for it was standing at half-past two. Bucktrout now stood up in his stirrups, contemplating the country like a whipper-in waiting to view a fox away. Nothing to be seen. Stand aoainst All seemed to have it all to itself. " Knock and ask," now said the Countess, addressing herself to the footman as though she were at the door of a Belgravian mansion. " Please, my lady, who shall I inquire for ? " demanded he, touching his fine cockaded hat, as, having descended from his perch, he now stood at the carriage door. " Ask if the hounds are coming here to-day," replied her lady- ship. " Yes, my lady," said the footman, trotting off, taking care of his shoes as he made for the ricketty, weather-beaten door of the miserable hut. Rat, tat, tat, tat, tat, he went at the frail wooden fabric, as though he were going to demolish it. " Who's there ? " roared a stentorian voice, that a westerly wind wafted in full force to the carriage. " Please, do the hounds meet here to-day ? " asked the footman in his mild company accents. " No, you ass ! " roared the poacher, for it was none other than Giles Snarem, the notorious leader of the night gang, whose second sleep he had thus disturbed. " Come away ! " cried the Countess — " come away ! " satisfied there was a mistake somewhere. The order Avas satisfactory to old Bucktrout, who feared if the inquiry was prosecuted any further it would transpire that the hounds were at Spite of All, whereas he had driven the party to Stand against All, though he was certain about the action being tried before Lord Chief Justice Besfc, because one of the high 388 MB. FACET BOMFORB'S HOUNDS. sherifP's javelhi men lodged at his house, and told him all about it — indeed, he believed the javelin man had been of great assistance to the judge in trying the case. At the word *' home," from the footman, he therefore caught his old screws short by the head, and turning the carriage round, what with flagellating one horse and spurring the other, he managed to make them plough through the heavy sand at a much better pace than they came. A respectful distance being thus established between Stand against All and our travellers, he presently relaxed into his old jog-trot pace, and having stopped to refresh himself and horses at the ''Barleymow" way-side inn, he trotted into town with as much dash and vigour as he could raise. Those terrible greys at the *• Fleece," were always haunting his vision, urging him and his horses beyond the decaying powers of either. Arrived at the '' Lord Hill " hotel and posting-house, the first thing he did after setting down was to run and look at " Bell's Life" in the bar, and finding Mr. Romford's hounds advertised for Spite of All, he told the landlord he had better book the journey to Spite of All, and then there would be no mistake in the matter. " All right," said he ; " all right," scrambling out crab fashion. "Spite of All, and Stand agin All 'ill be all the same thing — same thing — place they had the 'size trial on about afore Lord Chief Justice Best and a special jury." So that day's journey went for nothing. CHAPTER LXL THE TENTH MILESTONE ON THE LARKSPUR ROAD. Foiled in her first effort to get a sight of the redoubtable Leotard, the Countess of Caperington returned with vigour to the charge, sending, immediately on her return from Stand against All, into the commercial room of the "Lord Hill" hotel and posting-house for the old well-thumbed map of the county, and searching with avidity for the next meet of the hounds. Fortu- nately for Bucktrout, neither Spite of All nor Stand against All had obtained their present notoriety when the map was published, consequently they were not on it to contradict his assertion that they were one and the same place ; and her ladyship having placed her pretty forefinger on the extensive stain denoting her MB. FAC£:Y BOMFOED'S hounds. 389 then locality at Dirlingford, she proceeded to make a very scientific cast to the east in search of the diminutive town of Larkspur, formerly the residence of the Doubleimupshire hounds. *' Here it is ! " at length cried she, looking up, " here it is ! right to the north-east of this place," and getting a cedar-wood match out of the lighter stand, she proceeded to measure the scale in the corner of the map, and then the distance from the before- mentioned greasy mark on the side. " Oh, quite within distance," said she, " quite within distance ; not about twelve miles from here at most, by Burbury and Cracknel." So saying, her ladyship dismissed the map, and ordered the dinner for that day, and the carriage for the next, with one and the same breath. And now leaving the reader to imagine a repetition of the former evening's performance, we will pass on to the following morning, and suppose the Countess and party again taking the field in the " Lord Hill " carriage in all the glories of consequence and dress. Bucktrout had increased his magnificence by adding a pair of tarnished red and white rosettes to his antediluvian horses' heads, and sat cockily in his brass cantreled saddle, thinking how he was taking the shine out of Peter of the " Golden Fleece," and his greys. Then after the fuss and preparation, gaping and staring and starring of the former occasion, the Countess and her friends came down-stairs, and with due importance got themselves seated and adjusted in the carriage. " Right ! " again was the cry, and the low part of the High Street was this time enlivened with the sound of carriage wheels. If people in London ran to the window to look at every vehicle that passed, what a time they would have of it. Bucktrout rode with much more confidence than he did in going to Spite of All, for he knew^ his way, and moreover was certain that he was going right. So he rose cockily in his saddle, now admiring his Jeft-leg boot, now looking into the flowing rosettes at his horses' heads, now whipping and spurring the old nags into activity. If he wasn't cutting a dash he didn't know who was. .Tip, jip, jip, he went as if they were a pair of five-year-old's instead of being nearer five-and-twenty. The road was good — turnpike all the way : none of the sandstone quagmires, with great boulder stones turning up like flitches of bacon every few yards, that impeded their progress the day before. They had not gone many miles ere the first indication of the chase appeared. This was a tight-buttoned blue-coated groom riding a well-conditioned brown horse, between whose sleek coat 390 MR. FACEY EOMFORD'S HOUNDS. and the rider's tops there seemed to be a species of honourahlo rivalry as to which should be the darkest. The horse had it perhaps, but only by a shade or two. Formerly grooms couldn't get their boots white enough : now they can't get them dark enough. Such is the mutation of fashion. " All right to-day," said the Countess, eyeing the unmistakc- able symptom. Bucktrout then passed him at a half cantering trot. The plot presently thickened. At the Burbury side bar two grooms were paying their own and their hack-riding masters' tolls, and a little further on a knot of miscellaneous horsemen were regaling themselves at the door of the " Good Intent " inn with early purl and other delicacies. Some people can drink at any time. Bucktrout spurts past them as if he despised such per- formances. The country was evidently getting alive. ' Ah ! there's a red coat ! Only a seedy one, to be sure, as the first red coat on the road generally is, but still a red coat, thus openly proclaiming the nature of the coming entertainment. It is little Tommy Squirt, the Union Doctor, who is deceiving himself, as Independent Jimmy would say, that he is passing for a great man, though in reality he is only offering himself for a figure of fun. A badly turned-out man in red is always a deplorable object ; doubly so when the horse and the coat are equally bad, and all the appointments show that the colour is expected to do everything. On he jogs his badly-clipped mouse- colour very gingerly, having both corns and a curb to take care of. And now the brute trips in a grip just as the carriage is passing, causing an outbnrst of laughter from the party. • Then the turn of the road reveals another red coat — a red coat on a grey — a rat-tailed grey this time. It is our old friend the Chairman of the Half-Guinea Hat Company, who has become very assiduous in his attendance on the Larkspur hounds of late. He has got himself up with extra care, Avith his all-round-the-chin beard combed carefully over his blue tie, like samples of yellow and white worsted on a stall. " What an ugly man ! " exclaimed the Countess in passing, •quite loud enough for Bonus to hear. " Isn't he ! " assented Mrs. Mountravers in the same tone. " "Wonder he doesn't dye his beard all the same colour," ob- served Major Elite, whose turn it now was to stare. But we are now ascending the slightly rising ground of Cracknel Green — a rise so gentle that it was not until the establishment of railways that it was found out not to be level. Bucktrout's liorses, however, who have wonderfully fine shoulders for detecting the collar, feel it at once, and gradually relax into a walk. Half ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 301 way up stands the ninth milestone, cahn and serene as milestones always are, but causing the ladies to start and adjust their bonnets, ^nd Major Elite to button his gloves and feel his collar. They are presently overtaken by a large party of horsemen, some in black, some in red, some in green, who stare and wonder who old Bucktrout has aboard to-day. Though they all admire the Countess, they think the Major might be very happy with either. And now the indubitable level being obtained, Bucktrout has no excuse for further nursing, and at the word '• trot ! " from the Oountess he gathers the old horses together, and with the aid of the spur, the whip, and the voice, is presently at the '• Delightful scene ! Whore all around is gay, men, horses, dogs ; And in each smiling countenance appears Fresh blooming health and universal joy." Our foxy-faced Master has just turned into a large pasture on the right of the road, the hounds looking blooming and well. Daniel — the Right Honourable the Hurl of Scamperdale's Daniel — sober and solemn ; and little Chowey, the man with the philanthropic mouth, contracting and dilating his proboscis as though he were -considering whom he should kiss. Romford rides the redoubtable Placid Joe, Swig the water-objecting Brick, and Chowey the wriggling Oliver Twist. They now take up a position well into the field, and give the hounds ample space to roll and be criticised. Then there is the field, large, parti-coloured and gay, as fields generally are when the meets of the hounds are by a turnpike side, and carriages and horsemen can commingle. There are two or three gigs, and two or three phaetons, some containing gentlemen, who on peeling will prove horsemen, while others Avill folloAv in their vehicles as far as they can, and then go away. " Turn in here I " cried the Countess ; " turn in here I " as the hesitating Bucktrout pulled up at the field-gate, and looked round with a grin. " Yes, my lady," said he, now gathering all his energies to •steer through the gate without a coUision against either post. He just managed to do it. "Who have we here?" said Romford to Mr. .Joseph Large, who still patronised the pack at great personal inconvenience. " Don't know," replied Large ; adding, " it's the ' Lord Hill ' «cliaise." 392 MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUNDS. " 80 I see," said Romford, who had long booked the old horses for the boiler. Then, as the carriage approached and drew up before the pack, Facey, seeing the ladies were pretty, raised his hat, an example that was immediately followed by Chowey and Swig with their caps. Chowey half thought the Countess was an old acquain- tance, but for once he couldn't hit it off. Then, as the hats and caps subsided, there was fresh inquiry as to who the strangers were, and a sending of Todd on the sly to- ask Tomkins, and a similar expedition by Large to Ten-and-a- half-per-Cent,, who now came up on the rat-tailed grey. None of them, of course, could tell. But here comes some one who can,, viz., our fair friend, Mrs. Somerville, who, entering the field by a gap at the opposite corner, confronts the carriage as she advances mounted on the wondrous Leotard. Lucy wondered who the strangers were — then she thought she had seen that face before — very like Lady Scattercash's — couldn't be Lady Scattercash — yes it was Lady Scattercash. " How do you do, Lady Scattercash ? " said she, riding up to the carriage-door and tendering her hand as she spoke. But the Countess, who had had the advantage of a quiet carriage-seat for the survey, had realised Lucy before Lucy did her, and her dis- pleasure at seeing the horse going so quietly was not at all diminished by the familiarity of that ]K'rso)i calling her Lady Scattercash, when she was in fact the Countess of Caperington. So she neglected the proffered hand and preserved a stolid scornful stare. " I think you don't know me," said Lucy, timidly, withdrawing* her hand as she spoke. " Yes, I do," replied the Countess, haughtily. " You are Mrs. Sponge — Lucy Glitters that was — most pernicious woman I " added she, with an upward curl of her lip. If the Countess had stabbed her to the heart she could not have inflicted a more deadly wound, for there were horsemen all around, every one of whom, Lucy felt sure, would hear what was said. The words perfectly rang in her ears — " You are Mrs. Sponge — Lucy Glitters tliat was — most j^ernicious woman ! " She was indeed Mrs. Sponge — Lucy Glitters that was ; but she felt that it was not for an old comrade like Lady Scattercash to upbraid her. She would not have done so by the Countess. And, turning her horse short round, poor Lucy burst into a flood of tears. Notwithstanding the unwonted sight of a lady in tears in the hunting-field, we believe if it had not been for that long-eared Chairman of the Half-Guinea-Hat Company, Lucy's misfortune 3IB. FACET ROMFORD'S BOUNDS. 393 might have escaped observation. He, however, being down-wind, with his ears well cocked as usual for a catch, heard the ominous " You are Mrs. ^Sponge I " coupled with the denunciation " most 2)ermcious woman ! " and immediately put that and that together for a story. Not that he went bellowing about the country exclaiming, '* I say, this is not Mrs. Somerville, but Mrs. Sponge, the wife of our friend Soapey Sponge," but he inuendoed it, which was just the same thing. The story flew like lightning, and in a very few days was all over Dubleimupshire. But a great deal may be done in a few days, and ere the bubble finally burst a great deal Avas done in this case. But the denouement of all this spirited conduct deserves a separate chapter. CHAPTER LXII. THE FIXI8H. It was an eventful morning to other parties besides our friend Mrs. Somerville. When she got back to Beldon Hall she found the fair auburn-haired lady had played young Joseph Large off* so successfully against Mr. Lovetin Lonnergan as to make the latter consent to a clandestine marriage, of course to be kept profoundly secret until it pleased father to die. And Mrs. Somerville, feeling the pressure of circumstances and the precarious nature of her own position, at once set about furthering the arrangement, not by ordering (those voluminous mountains of clothes and dresses that generally mark the coming change, but by quietly procuring a marriage licence and an obliging clergyman to use it. Then, to make surety doubly sure, and completely baffle old Lonnergan should any ^reports get into circulation, Mrs. Somer- ville suggested that Miss Howard should be married in a feigned name, and hit upon that of Shannon. " Elizabeth Shannon, say,'* as if quite accidentally ; and Lovetin thought the idea rather a pull in his favour if anything, being greatly goaded by the per- secuting importunities of that disgusting Joseph Large, who, he felt sure, would marry her at any price. The Registrar, holding the document firmly in one hand while he presented the palm of the other, said in an unbroken l)reath, " Two pound twelve and sixpence, and I hope it will make you both very happy," his happiness evidently consisting in getting the two pound twelve and sixpence, xind Lovetin paid the money (which '' Old Rent-should-never-rise " wouldn't have done) 594 MB. FACET ROMFOBD'S HOUNDS. without asking for discount. Lord Loimergau would certainly have had the sixpence, if not the two and sixpence otf. It would not interest the reader to follow the worthies through the consequences of their mutual disappointments ; suffice it to say, that there was presently an uproar, though not of Mrs. Lubbins's order, both at Dalberry Lees and Beldon Hall. Our sprightly friend Betsey Shannon had the best of it, for here was real wealth and an easily-managed husband. Of course the match was not kept secret — as what match ever is ? — but its announcement was not attended by any unpleasant consequences. The fact was, that though father was not obliging enough to die, yet his faculties failed just at the very time, the iirst indication of which was the conviction that Betsey Shaunon, now Mrs. Lovetin Lonnergan, was a great City heiress ; and Mrs. Lonnergan, always trusting her great man implicitly, re- ceived her daughter-in-law at Flush House Avith the greatesD cordiality. There Mrs. Lovetin was most comfortably located, everything going on most harmoniously, thus contradicting the assertion that there never yet was a house built large enough to hold two families. The old Lord used to sit in his easy-chair contemplating Betsey's beautiful hgure and complexion, muttering aloud, '"Ah, lucky dog, Lovetin, lucky dog ; always told you to stick up for the money. Beauty and breeding are nothing compared to blunt." Then he would burst out with the old favourite aphorism, " "When has a man got enough money, Lovetin ? When he has got a little more than what he has. Ah, lucky dog, lucky dog ! Be as rich as Itothschild — rich as Rothschild, my boy." But we are occupying ourselves Avith a minor hero to the neglect of our great Master, Mr. Romford. AYhen matters burst up at Beldon Hall, Cassandra Avas indig- nant exceedingly, and aa^c need not say that there Avas terrible disappointment at Dalberry Lees, crimination and recrimina- tion. " If he didn't say himself he Avas the owner of Abbeyfield Park, €\^erybody did for him, and he ncA'cr contradicted it. Turbot- sitting-upon-its-tail on a cap of dignity, forsooth ! AVhat business had he to seal his letters with a turbot-sitting-upon-its-tail on a cap of dignity ? Downright imposition. (Jaining credit under false pretences. Ought to be transported. So said Mrs. Hazey. But Facey, as the reader has seen, was a man of energy and determination. He AA^as yet young, vigorous, and ungrizzled — not at all trammelled Avith nice feelings or delicacy — and having got in the bulk of his season's subscription for the hounds, he sold the balance to our friend Ten-and-a-half-per-Cent. for fifteen MB. FACEY BOMFOmyS HOUNDS. 39{> ehilliDgs in the pound, and without indulg-ing in any further blandishment about founding the hospital for decayed sportsmen^ pocketed the money, and got his hounds and horses away a few hours before poor Lord Lovetin's bailiff threatened to seize for the quarter's rent. Indeed, his Lordship had his misgivings almost as soon as he let his place, particularly with regard to not re- stricting Mr. Romford from the use of the cut pile carpet that Mrs. Emmerson and he differed about. "Fox-hunters,"' his Lordship said, "might scrape their feet and wipe the thick of the mud off their boots at the door, but there was a deal that stuck to the upper parts of the legs that he knew •dropped off here and there as it liked at its leisure." All this would tread into the carpet and furniture generally, and he questioned that Mrs. Mustard would look very deep for hidden •dirt. Nor were his anxieties diminished by the non-receipt of the quarter's rent when due for Beldon Hall, which, having been let by himself, he expected the pleasure of manipulating without the mulcting process as it passed through Mr. Lonnergan's hands. Indeed he had promised himself the pleasure of buying a new black Lyons silk waistcoat witli the percentage so saved, an article of raiment that he was greatly in want of. In fact, he had marked two or three down in the Palais Royal that he thought he could compass ; but then, like a prudent viscount, he did not like spending the money before he got it. Xow he wished he might not be thrown naked and houseless on the world when he liad long been looking forward to comparative ease and comfort in his old age. But his anxieties were not thoroughly aroused until meeting little Jack Lounger in the Rue de la Paix, reading a letter from England, with an account of the splendours of the Beldon Hall ball, which not being insured, it instantly occurred to his Lord- ship that Romford would infallibly be burning the place down. " Burn it down to a certainty ! " exclaimed he, thinking he saw it all in a blaze, the flames bursting out simultaneously from every window, just at they did at Camden House — " Burn it down to ii certainty ! Statuary, marble, Sevres china, clocks, cabinets, Apollo, Daphne, and all. That sort of work wouldn't do ; he would be reduced to beggary in no time. Great as would be the ^expense, and ill as he could afford it, he really thought he nuist go over to England and see how matters stood." He mistrusted Lonnergan, who he thought would be sure to side with the tenant. And accordingly, after due consideration, his Lordship went with a return-ticket, availal)le for one month, by rail to Boulogne, and then by one of the General Steam Navigation Company's ships to 396 MB. FAC:EY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. London Bridge Wharf, thence on by rail again to Firfield Station, altogether to the damage of two pound five. Serious work for the silk waistcoat ! It was evening when his Lordship arrived, and Independent Jimmy was at the back of the station, as usual, catching the pas- sengers as they came out, just as a butcher catches sheep coming out of a fold. " Noo then ! where are ye for ? " demanded Jimmy getting hold of his Lordship. " Beldon Hall," replied the viscount. " Then get m ! " exclaimed Jimmy, jerking his capped head towards the open omnibus door. "Xoo then ! where are ye for? '* inquired he of another. And so he went on till the stream of humanity ceased to flow. He then climbed up on to his box and cut off : shortly after which the process of setting down, " Noo then, this is so-and-so, get cot ! " commenced. '•' Noo then, this be Beldon ! — get oot ! " at length said he to his Lordship. And his Lordship got out ac- cordingly, slipping his bag into the lodge to be sent for as he passed. He then slipped up to the house by the back way. Being a lord, and feeling the advantage thereof ; moreover re- membering Frank Romford's peaceable demeanour at school, and recollecting also that he himself was on a visit of inspection ; hi& Lordship thought he had better assume a little more intimacy than really existed, and affect to come upon his tenant in the way of a friendly, agreeable surprise. So, without ringing, he opened the door and let himself into the house. The spacious hall was dark and gloomy — not even a solitary tallow candle illuminating*^ its monotony ; but if a man can find his way anywhere Avithout a light, it is in his own house ; and feeling rather comforted than otherwise at the absence of an illumination, his Lordship passed through the echoing hall, and entered the vestibule beyond. Here a light under the bottom of a door indicated residence ; and after a momentary pause, he gave a gentle tap. " Come in I " roared Eomford, thinking it was the strong, persevering man who cleaned horses. " Come in I " repeated he still louder, the first summons not being obeyed. His Lordship then did as desired, and disclosed a taUeau of considerable strength and variety. Before a bright, partly coal and partly wood, lire, on a small round table of the finest buhl and red tortoise-shell, stood Facey's old friend the gin-bottle, flanked with a half-emptied tumbler and a well-stocked bag of tobacco ; our Master was stretched at full length on a richly carved and gilt sofa, covered in old Gobelin tapestry, the elbows and back in green Genoa velvet, smoking his pipe at his ease> MR. FACEY BOMFOBD'S HOUXDS. 397 On the left of the table, shaded from the fire by a clothes-horse containing sundry articles of male attire, sat Mrs. Somerville, in a reclinins: chair covered with rich purple and amber satin damask, darmng a pair of Mr. Romford's old stockings. Having a good front view, each started with astonishment at the sight of the other. M LORD LOVETiy. However much boys may change as they grow up into men, there will generally be some distinguishing feature by which they can be recognised ; but under no possible process could the little dark-beady black-eyed Romford of his Lordship s early days have grown up nito the great shaggy Herculean monster that now arose from his lair before him. His Lordship started, for he thought to give his old schoolfellow an agreeable surprise ; and Romford started, for he was not accus- tomed to intruders, and didn't want to be troubled. They then 398 MIL FAGEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS, stood staring at one another like Spanish pointers, each wondering who the other was. Lord Lovetin at length broke silence. " Beg pardon," said he, " but I thought it was Mr. Romford." "Romford it is," said Facey, yawning, and stretching out his great arms as if to show the intruder what he had to contend with. (He half thought it was somebody come after old Fog's £50.) "But not the Romford I was at school with," observed his Lordship, eyeing him intently. "Don't know^ who you are, to begin with," replied Facey; "but moy name's Romford," observed he ; ^'that oi'U swear to."" " I'm Lord Lovetin," rei^lied his Lordship, mildly. If his Lordship had put a pistol to our Master's head he could not have given him a greater shock ; and forthwith all his acts of omission and commission rushed to his mind with terrible velocity : the trifle of rent, the conversion of the coach-horses, the spurious sister, the turbot-on-its-tail seal. We need not follow our friends through the cUnouement that ensued on the discovery by his Lordship of the mistake he had made in jumping to the conclusion that there was only one Mr. Romford in the world, nor relate how Mr. Facey Romford not only insisted upon sitting rent free during the time he had been at Beldon Hall, but also upon receiving a handsome bonus for going out, which his Lordship, albeit almost heart-broken at the sacrifice, thought it better to do than submit to any further devastation and deterioration of property. Oh, Avhat a shock it was to him ! Knocked ten years out of his life, he said. The more his Lordship saw, the less he liked what had been going on. The place was indeed in shocking confusion : everything con- verted into what it was not intended for. Betsy's old brass-eyed Balmorals stuffed into the richly-carved Indian cabinet ; a pound of sugar and a nip of tea placed under the shade of the figured and flowered Dresden timepiece, noAv left without any protection ; a statuary marble figure of Psyche crowned with Facey's ten- penny wide-awake ; and Mrs. Somerville's dirty goloshes tucked under the arm of a companion figure of Cupid. A mojolica cup, with crest and coronet, was filled with shot ; and in a Sevres tray, with turquoise-and-gold border, reposed a battered old powder- flask. And here let us say that we take shame unto ourselves for not as yet having introduced the noble viscount personally to the reader. Take then a short but faithful sketch, executed in the field in the detective style. Say five-and-forty years of age, five MB. FACEY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 399 feet ten inches hiii"li, sallow complexion, long visage, dark hair, thin on the top [like the passionate gentleman's in "Punch"], dark hazel eyes, arched eyebrows, narrow feet and a very narrow mind, short whiskers and long spiral moustache, stoutish build with a military air : dressed in a complete " Ditto " suit of brown, with a French wallet sluug over his shoulder, and a peaky French travelling-cap held in his hand ; added to this, a pecnharity when speaking of shrugging up his shoulders con- tinually. The news soon spread that his Lordship had cast-up — dropped in " quite promiscuous," as the saying is, and was very ill-pleased with all he had found. The Dirties had come in for their share of the censure, and promulgated what passed pretty freely. And when a story once gets admission into a house, it soon finds its way into the drawing- room. Still Facey had his friends in the hunting-field, men who said he was the right Romford — the right man in the right place, as far as they were concerned. He could kill a fox with any one, and had as good a pack of hounds as ever came into a country. If he wasn't a man of much blandishment, as Independent Jimmy said, still he could go across country like a comet ; and nothing- pleases people so much as a dashing, fearless rider. Facey, moreover, who, as our readers will perhaps have seen, had assurance enough for anything, went on in his usual routine way, hunting his country with great fairness and impartiality, contending — with some degree of plausibility — that nobody had anything to do with anything but his hounds. They might hunt with him or not, just as they liked, he said ; but he would be master of his own house (as he continued to call Beldon Hall), so he just advertised his meets as before. And indeed, but for a certain interesting circumstance, we don't know but he would have continued to hunt the country up to the present time, and that circumstance we shall now proceed to- relate. Amid all the snubbing and cold-shouldering that ensued, one house remained firm and faithful to our Facey, and that was the house of our distinguished friend WiWj AYatkins. ]^obody there would hear anything 'against Mr. Romford. They didn'c *' want to hear anything against Mr. Romford." " They wouldn't hear anything against Mr. Romford. They begged that nobody would trouble themselves to tell them anything against Mr. Romford. The' world was made up of spite and ill-nature, and people generally spoke from an interested motive." [This latter observation was levelled at Mrs. Hazey.] " Lord Lovetin was a notorious screw, and doubtless wanted to cheat Mr. Rom- 400 ME. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. ford. Mr. Eomford was quite rii^bt in resisting him." And poor Willy was sent out hunting twice a week, in order to keep up appearances ; this, too, when the now diminished fields made the risk extra hazardous in the Avaj of fencing, few caring to break them for him. And considering how the men were divided in opinion as to whether Mr. Facey was the right Romford or not, there is nothing extraordinary in a lady who knew so little about hunting as to suppose that a bag-fox, or a day with Mr. Stotfold's stag-hounds, would be acceptable to our Master, mistaking the controversy about the keenness for the real question as to the ownership of Abbeyfield Park, and as there was a doubt about the matter, giving the benefit of the doubt to the party she was interested in, viz., to our Mr. Romford. As the men couldn't marry Mr. Facey, they didn't care whether he was the owner of Abbeyfield Park or not ; but it made all the difference to Mrs. Watkins. There was, when ■she made her mistake, a very natural one. He was the right Romford to the gentlemen, but not the ladies. So Facey continued to visit at Dalberry Lees with his flute, taking an occasional spin for a perch in the Trent as he passed ; and nothing could be more cordial or encouraging than the family. The reader will be surprised at the j^romotion of the match under such circumstances, but the cause is easily explained. The fact was, that the accounts from Australia had latterly been very discouraging. The worthy papa had been much outwitted of late, and had made some very improvident speculations, as well with Willy's money as his own. Nor were the Honourable, and the lady tvJw was very nearly an honouralle, the only ones who sought the secret services of the €hurch at this memorable epoch. Strange as it may seem, our most sagacious friend Facey led to the hymeneal altar our lofty-minded friend Cassandra Cleopatra, with the fall consent of her august parents. Nay, it was difficult to say whether the Watkinses or Facey were most anxious to hurry on the match, the Watkinses •considering that Cassandra would be perfectly safe with her ample dower out of Abbeyfield Park, while friend Facey thought it would be a very good thing to have Dalberry Lees to fall back upon when matters should burst up at Beldon Hall. Our fair readers will perhaps think that there is not sufficient inducement here shown for our lisping friend foregoing that greatest triumph of female life, the excitement and preparation of a grand wedding. Men always wish them over as quietly as possible : ladies can never make fuss and display enough. Well, but there was a reason for it, notwithstanding, as we have before MR. FACET ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. 401 intimated. The fact was, that the worthy old convict whom we left in the colony to manage his own and his son-in-law's affairs, while the latter and his wife, or lady, as her husband called her, came over to England to see if there was anybody good enough for the daughter, had had the misfortune to make some very bad speculations, and had lost the greater part of that wealth which Willy had lost the greater part of his hair in obtaining. It was not, therefore, desirable to undergo the manipulation of the lawyers on Cassandra's account, and they could therefore hardly ask Mr. Romford to submit to it on theirs. They had no doubt at all that Mr. Romford was very rich, and that it would do uncommonly well. And Mr. Romford, not bemg inclined to write for the title-deeds of Abbeyfield Park, or indeed to have any unnecessary hiatus in his hunting, agreed that it was far the best to manage matters quietly, and then go to London and have a flare-up in the spring. People get far more for their money there, he said, and he knew everybody in London, — Smith, and Brown, and Bates, and all. The Romford stud sold uncommonly well, as it naturally would where its good qualities only were known. Placid Joe passed into the hands of Mr. Hazey for £9(>, and having borne him triumphantly through the thick of his own hounds, quickly passed out again at a loss of £00. Hard day for poor Hazey. He thought to stick him into Sir Theophilus Thickset at a consider- able premium. Mr. Joseph Large bought the fine weight-carrying bay called " Everlasting," but which declined against the hills, and was very well suited, the horse being always as ready to stop as Large was himself. So they agreed capitally together. Large gave £80 for him, teapot -handles being rather on the rise at the time of the ' "Ten-and-a-half-per-Cent." bought " Perfection," the nutmeg grey, with a partiality for scrubbing its rider's legs up against carriage-wheels ; and the brute having subsequently made rubbing posts of the postman's gig. Linseed the doctor's fly, and Marrow the butcher's cart, his owner was at length constrained to come to the conclusion that he had better send " Perfection " to Aldridge's, where he was knocked down for a £10 note — his character being perfectly well known to the frequenters of the Repository. AVhen Facey and the Watkinses came to the knowledge of the doo they had practised on each other some sharp passages were exchanged, and a family war was on the point of commencing, when the name of Willy Watkins made its appearance in the Gazette. Facey was not the man, he said, to kick a foe when he 402 MR. FACEY BOMFORD'S HOUNDS. ■was down ; so ifc was agreed that all matters of difference between them should be buried in oblivion, and that Eomford and wife should start forthwith to the Antipodes, and look after the old convict and the wreck of "Willy's property. This resolution was forthwith acted upon : and, strange to say, almost the first person our hero met in the streets of Melbourne, just opposite Bright, Brothers, & Co.'s store, at the corner of Flinder's Lane and Bond Street, was our estimable friend Mr. Sponge, the runaway husband of the all-accomplished Mrs. Somerville, Avho has played so con- spicuous a part in our story. Soapey — looking as brisk and spruce as a man who has lit on his legs and can hold up his head before anybody — very different to the Mr. Sponge who bolted by the backway from the cigar-shop in Jermyn Street ; and though that " sivin-pun-ten " was still standing against him, it did not prevent Mr. Sponge hailing his creditor with unfeigned cordiality. And indeed he had good cause for looking brisk, for he too had been to the diggings, and, not far fi'om where friend Willy Watkins feathered his nest, had pitched upon some uncommonly good nuggets, which he had noAV come to Melbourne to sell. People who will pass each other on the grand street of life — the Parks or Pall Mall, for instance — will fraternise uncommonly on a Swiss mountain, or at the Antipodes. So it was with our distinguished heroes. Of course Facey knew nothing about Lucy, and, upon the prin- ciple that where ignorance is bliss 'twere folly to be wise, Soapey was not extra-inquisitive about her. To the credit of Betsey Shannon, who had gained such an ascendency over her sapient liusband as a spirited young woman like her ought to acquire, Mrs. Somerville had a capital billet at Flush House, where she was treated with the greatest respect by the old buff-vested Lord and his Lady. They thought Lucy was second only to Betsey in beauty and breeding. But dependence is irksome, and Lucy presently longed for a crust of bread and a crib of her own. The attainment of these desiderata shortly afterwards presented itself in the following letter from Betsey Lonnergan, who had gone' up to toAvn for a few days, leaving Lucy in possession of Flush. Hall :— '•Mawley's Hotel, " Wenesdat. *' Dear Lucy. — / wrife to say we sliant come home till after the- tarn of the lueelc, as Lovetin and me am going for a couple of days tO' Foksstone to see a cousen of his. ME. FACET ROMFORD'S HOU^^DS. 403 " You mustnt he diiU, but heep your spirits vp tike a little brick as you are. *' Now for some news, icliich ivill malce your bade hair stand out nice a Chinese man's pigtail. I 2vere setting in our carrige at Carling's the sighgur shop's door in Regent Street, whiles Loveg had gone in to get some weeds, ivhen vho should 1 clap my eyes on but Belli'ille as ' used to icas ' toith us gou Icnow afore he went to Orstralia — {is that right?— ivell, if isn't, gou Icnow tvhat it means), " BellvilJe tvent to lecul in tragedy, you hiow, up at the diggins\ and a prettg t id g pike he has made on it. He teas dressed quite like a swell — blue frock coat, with brade cmd frogs and a poodle collar, and his trowseys were life, if la Charleg Mathews, onlg they heal brcule down 'em too. Mustash, of course, and all that. Well, he stares at me and me at him, till lie sees me smile, and then he offs with his tile and malces up to the carrige-door. After a short scene of surprise, lie asks, ' Commg foe ? ' — Quite correct, eh ? " ' Of course,' says I, icith a frown ; and then we both laughed, as you may fancy. '^ Well, B. told me irhat ' tremendous success ' he had had — thoiiglit him Macreculg in disguise — gave him luilf share of the house, and a clear * Ben ' * everg month — and he has made mopusses enuff to come back cpuite indiapendent. " ^ Wliafs that to me ? ' says yon, * or to Betsey Shannon ' now site's the bride of another ? " '•This is what it is. In course of conversaslmn he asked after you, and irlty you and Soapey had parted. I told him ihe truth — how Soapey had bolted and left you to shift for yourself ' Tiien,' says B., ' / can yive her tlie cue to find him ayain, if she wishes if. He's doiny furst rate at Melburn ; and if she's short of rowdy to pay her passige out, Im readg,for ^^ Awl Lang Sign," to lend it her.' " There, mg dear, that's something for you to think about till me and Lovey come home again — and here lie is, recuhj to take me to the Canterbury, where I have teased him to yo this eveniny. " Bless you, dear, and please see that fires are kep in our bedroom- and my bodore. Good-by. " Your affectionate friend, " Betsey Loxnergan." * I.e. half the receipts, and a benefit free of charge. 404 MB. FAC.BY ROMFORD'S HOUNDS. Lucy did not long deliberate o.-or the '^"nt'^f f °f ^•^'^^f"'".!' letter before she decided to share the success of her Sponge Sht resolved to discard the assumed name of Somervil e, and set out f^ fte Anth odes in search of him ; so, following in the wake of the Rontfords! she presently found him, and both Facey and Soapey o-ave her a most cordial greeting. " THE ANTIPODES ! " The voyao-e out had agreed Avith her, and she was looking, if possible, handsomer than ever. Soapey took to her without hesi- tation, on the sensible principle of letting " bygones be bygones And Facey, who was a capital manager, so long as he hadn t the old lady to contend with, had, with the aid of tmns, got thelisper into such subjection and good order that Beldon Hall was all io-nored— never mentioned. . .-, i ^- fi.^ Indeed, Mr. Romford didn't see why, saving the elegance ot the MB. FACEY BOMFOBD'ti MOUNDS. 405 name, Lucy shouldn't have called herself Mrs. Sponge instead of Mrs. Somerville. ■, -n-. ij- i ^ i^o And we are happy to say that old Granby Fitzgerald s deft lea- tions were not so utterly ruinous as were at lirst expected, ihere is something saved out^of the fire for AYihy, while Pacey with his natural aptitude for taking care of himself, has secured a tritlo also • which, with what he took out with him, makes him up nuite a purse. The last account heard of Soapey and him was that they were going to set up a bank in CoUins Street East, under the firm of "ROMFORU AXD SpOXGE." Good Inck attend their exertions, say we ! ^Ye expect to hear of their setting up a pack of hounds together next. THE ENL\ BRADBURY, AONEW, ro Road INcMlh Grafton, MA OlS^e