NOV 1 WB3 
 
 THE LIBRARY OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 
 NORTH CAROLINA 
 
 AT CHAPEL HILL 
 
 ENDOWED BY THE 
 
 DIALECTIC AND PHILANTHROPIC 
 
 SOCIETIES 
 LIBRARY 
 SCHOOL 
 
 J H 
 Carroll 
 
THE LIBRARY OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 
 NORTH CAROLINA 
 
 AT CHAPEL HILL 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 Mary Laurens 
 Withers Richardson 
 
 
This book must not 
 be taken from the 
 Library building. 
 
 Form No. 471 
 
) Q^^^^^^^^t^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 ^y 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 
 in 2012 with funding from 
 
 University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/alicesadventurescarroll 
 
ALICE'S 
 
 ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. 
 
ALICE'S 
 
 ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND, 
 
 BY 
 
 LEWIS CARROLL. 
 
 WITH FORTY-TWO ILLUSTRATION^ 
 BY 
 
 JOHN TENNIEL. 
 
 NEW YORK : 
 
 WORTHINGTON CO., 
 
 747 BROADWAY, 
 1890. 
 
 h\l**J* 
 
All in the golden afternoon 
 
 Full leisurely we glide ; 
 For both our oars, with little skill, 
 
 By little arms are plied, 
 While little hands make vain pretence 
 
 Our wanderings to guide. 
 
 Ah, cruel Three ! In such an hour, 
 Beneath such dreamy weather, 
 
 To beg a tale, of breath too weak 
 To stir the tiniest feather ! 
 
 Yet what can one poor voice avail 
 Against three tongues together? 
 
Imperious Prima flashes fortft 
 Her edict to " begin it " — 
 
 In gentler tone Secunda hopes 
 " There will be nonsense in it"- 
 
 While Tertia interrupts the tale 
 Not more than once a minute. 
 
 Anon, to sudden silence won, 
 
 In fancy they pursue 
 The dream-child moving through a land 
 
 Of wonders wild and new, 
 In friendly chat with bird or beast— 
 
 And half believe it true. 
 
 And ever, as the story drained 
 
 The wells of fancy dry, 
 And faintly strove that weary one 
 
 To put the subject by, 
 " The rest next time — " " It is next time ! " 
 
 The happy voices cry. 
 
Thus grew the tale of Wonderland : 
 
 Thus slowly, one by one, 
 Its quaint events were hammered out 
 
 And now the tale is done, 
 And home we steer, a merry crew. 
 
 Beneath the setting sun. 
 
 Alice ! a childish story take, 
 
 And with . gentle hand 
 Lay it where Childhood's dreams are twined 
 
 In Memory's mystic band, 
 Like pilgrim's withered wreath of flowers 
 
 Plucked in a far-off lane 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER. PACK 
 
 I. Down the Rabbit-Hole i 
 
 II. The Pool of Tears 1 5 
 
 III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 29 
 
 IV. The Rabbit sends in a Little Bill 41 
 
 V. Advice from a Caterpillar 5^* 
 
 VI. Pig and Pepper 74 
 
 VII. A Mad Tea-Party 93 
 
 VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground no 
 
 IX. The Mock Turtle's Story 128 
 
 X. The Lobster Quadrille 145 
 
 XL Who Stole the Tarts ? 160 
 
 XII. Alice's Evidence . . 174 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 
 
 ALICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting 
 by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing 
 to do : once or twice she had peeped into the 
 book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures 
 
*■ DOWN THE 
 
 or conversations in it, " and what is the use ot a 
 book," thought Alice, "without pictures or con- 
 versations ? " 
 
 So she was considering in her own mind, (as 
 well as she could, for the hot day made her 
 feel very sleepy and stupid,) whether the pleasure 
 of making a daisy-chain would be worth the 
 trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, 
 when suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran 
 close by her. 
 
 There was nothing so very remarkable in that; 
 nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way 
 to hear the Rabbit say to itself, " Oh dear ! Oh 
 dear ! I shall be too late ! " (when she thought it 
 over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought 
 to have wondered at this, but at the time it alL 
 seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit 
 actually took a watch out of lis waistcoat pocket, 
 and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started 
 to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she 
 had never before seen a rabbit with either a waist- 
 coat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and, 
 burning with curiosity, she ran across the field 
 
RABBIT-HOLE. 6 
 
 after it, and was just in time to see it pop down 
 a lan>e rabbit-hole under the hedsre. 
 
 In another moment down went Alice after it, 
 never once considering: how in the world she was 
 to eret out as;ain. 
 
 The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel 
 for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so 
 suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think 
 about stopping herself before she found herself 
 falling down what seemed to be a very deep well. 
 
 Either the well was very deep or she fell very 
 slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went 
 down to look about her, and to wonder what was 
 going to happen next. First, she tried to look 
 down and make out what she was coining to, but 
 it was too dark to see anything: then she looked 
 at the sides of the well, and noticed that they 
 were filled with cupboards and bookshelves : here 
 and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon 
 pegs. She took down a jar from one of the 
 shelves as she passed ;. it was labelled "ORANGE 
 MARMALADE," but to her great disappoint- 
 ment it was- empty : she did not like to drop the 
 
4 DOWN THE 
 
 jar for fear of killing somebody underneath, so 
 managed to put it into one of the cupboards as 
 she fell past it. 
 
 " Well ! " thought Alice to herself, " after such 
 a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling 
 down stairs ! How brave they'll all think me at 
 home ! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, 
 even if I fell off the top of the house ! " (Which 
 was very likely true.) 
 
 Down, down, down. Would the fall never 
 come to an end ? " I wonder how many miles 
 I've fallen by this time?" she said aloud. "I 
 must be 2fettin£ somewhere near the centre of 
 the earth. Let me see : that would be four 
 thousand miles down, I think — " (for you see, 
 Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her 
 lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was 
 not a very good opportunity for showing off her 
 knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, 
 still it was good practice to say it over) " — yes, 
 that's about the right distance — but then I wonder 
 what Latitude or Longitude I've 2;ot to?" 
 (Alice had not the slightest idea what Latitude 
 
RABBIT-HOLE. 5 
 
 was, or Longitude either, but she thought they 
 were nice grand words to say.) 
 
 Presently she began again. " I wonder if I 
 shall fall right through the earth ! How funny 
 it'll seem to come out among the people that 
 walk with their heads downwards! The Anti- 
 pathies, I think — " (she was rather glad there was 
 no one listening this time, as it didn't sound at all 
 the right word) " — but I shall have to ask them 
 what the name of the country is, you know. Please, 
 Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia ? " (and 
 she tried to curtsy as she spoke — fancy curtsying 
 as you're falling through the air ! Do you think 
 you could manage it ?) " And what an ignorant 
 little girl she'll think me for asking ! No, it'll 
 never do to ask : perhaps I shall see it written up 
 somewhere." 
 
 Down, down, down. There was nothing eise 
 to do, so Alice soon bes-an talking: ao;ain. 
 " Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should 
 think ! " (Dinah was the cat/) " I hope they'll 
 remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah 
 my dear ! I wish you were down here with me ! 
 
DOWN TTTE 
 
 There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you 
 might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, 
 you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder ? " 
 And here Alice began to get rather sleepy and 
 went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of 
 way, " Do cats eat bats ? Do cats eat bats ? " 
 and sometimes, " Do bats eat cats ? " for, you 
 sec, as she couldn't answer either question, it 
 didn't much matter which way she put it. She 
 felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun 
 to dream that she was walking hand in hand 
 with Dinah, and was saying to her very earnestly, 
 " Now, Dinah, tell me the truth : did you ever 
 cat a bat ? " when suddenly, thump ! thump ! 
 down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry 
 leaves, and the fall was over. 
 
 Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up 
 on to her feet in a moment : she looked up, but 
 it w r as all dark overhead; before her was an- 
 other long passage, and the White Rabbit was 
 still in sight, hurrying down it. There was 
 not a moment to be lost : away went Alice like 
 
ttABBIT-HOLE. 7 
 
 the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as 
 it turned a corner, " Oh my ears and whiskers, 
 how late it's getting!" She was close behind 
 it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit 
 was no lono-er to be seen : she found herself in 
 a long, low hall, which was lit up by a now of 
 lamps hanging from the roof. 
 
 There were doors all round the hall, but they 
 were all locked, and when Alice had been all 
 the way down one side and up the other, trying 
 every door, she walked sadly down the middle, 
 wondering how she was ever to cret out ao-ain. 
 
 Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged 
 
 table, all made of solid glass ; there was nothing 
 
 on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first 
 
 idea was thr.t this might belong to one of the 
 
 doors of the hall ; but alas ! either the locks 
 
 were too large, or the key was too small, but 
 
 at any rate it' would not open any of them* 
 However, on the second time round, she came 
 
DOWN THE 
 
 upon a low cur- 
 tain she had not 
 noticed before, 
 and behind it 
 was a little door 
 about fifteen 
 inches high ; she 
 tried the little 
 golden key in 
 the lock, and to 
 her great delight it fitted ! 
 
 Alice opened the door and found that it led 
 into a small passage not much larger than a 
 rat hole : she knelt down and looked alono- the 
 passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. 
 How she longed to get out of that dark hall, 
 and wander about anion 2" those beds of bright 
 flowers and those cool fountains, but she could 
 not even get her head through the doorway ; 
 "and even if my head would go through," thought 
 poor Alice, " it would be of very little use with- 
 
RAHBTT-HOLE. 
 
 out my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could 
 shut up like a telescope ! I think I could, 
 if I only knew how to begin." For, you 
 see, so many out-of-the-way things had hap- 
 pened lately that Alice had begun to think 
 that very few things indeed were really impos- 
 sible. 
 
 There seemed to be no use in waiting by the 
 little door, so she went back to the table, half 
 hoping she might find another key on it, or at 
 any rate a book of rules for shutting people up 
 like telescopes : this time she found a little 
 bottle on it, (" which certainly was not here be- 
 fore," said Alice,) and tied round the neck of 
 the bottle was a paper label with the words 
 li DRINK ME" beautirully printed on it in 
 large letters. 
 
 It was all very well to say " Drink me," but 
 the wise little Alice was not going to do that in 
 a hurry : " no, I'll look first," she said, " and 
 see whether it's marked 'poison ' or not : " for 
 she had read several nice little stories about 
 
10 
 
 DOWN THE 
 
 children who had got burnt, and eaten up by 
 wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all 
 because they would not remember the simple 
 rules their friends had taught them, such 
 
 as, that a red-hot 
 poker will burn 
 you if you hold it 
 too long ; and that 
 if you cut your 
 finger very deeply 
 with a knife, it 
 usually bleeds ; and 
 she had never for- 
 gotten that, if you 
 drink much from 
 a bottle marked 
 " poison," it is al- 
 most certain to dis- 
 agree with you sooner or later. 
 
 However, this bottle was not marked " poi- 
 son," so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding 
 it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed 
 
RABBIT-HOLE. 11 
 
 flavor of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast 
 turkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast), she very 
 soon finished it off. 
 
 " What a curious feeling ! " said Alice, " I must 
 be shutting up like a telescope." 
 
 And do it was indeed : she was now only 
 ten inches hum, and her face brightened up 
 at the thought that she was now the right size 
 for going through the little door into that 
 lovely garden. First, however, she waited for 
 a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink 
 any further: she felt a little nervous about this, 
 "for it might end, you know," said Alice to 
 herself, " in my going out altogether, like a 
 candle. I wonder what I should be like then ? " 
 And she tried to fancy what the flame of a 
 
12 DOWN THE 
 
 candle looks like after the candle is blown 
 out, for she could not remember ever having 
 seen such a thin^. 
 
 After a while, finding that nothing more 
 happened, she decided on going into the gar- 
 den at once, but, alas for poor Alice ! when 
 she got to the door, she found she had for- 
 gotten the little golden key, and when she went 
 back to the table for it, she found she could not 
 possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly 
 through the glass, and she tried her best to 
 climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was 
 too slippery, and when she had tired herself out 
 with trying, the poor little thing sat down and 
 cried. 
 
 " Come, there's no use in crying like that ! " 
 said Alice to herself, rather sharply, " I advise 
 you to leave off this minute ! " She generally 
 gave herself very good advice, (though she 
 very seldom followed it,) and sometimes she 
 scolded herself so severely as to bring tears 
 into her eyes, and once she remembered trying 
 to box her own ears for having cheated herself 
 
EABBIT-HOLE. 13 
 
 in a game of croquet she was playing against 
 herself, for this curious child was very fond of 
 pretending to be two people. " But it's no use 
 now," thought poor Alice, " to pretend to be two 
 people ! Why, there's hardly enough of me left 
 to make one respectable person ! " 
 
 Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was 
 lying under the table : she opened it, and found 
 in it a very small cake, on which the words " EAT 
 ME" were beautifully marked in currants. "Well, 
 I'll eat it," said Alice, " and if it makes me grow 
 larger, I can reach the key ; and if it makes me 
 grow smaller, I can creep under the door ; so 
 either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't 
 care which happens ! " 
 
 he ate -a little bit, and said anxiously to her- 
 self " Which way ? Which way ? " holding her 
 hand on the top of her head to feel which way 
 it was growing, and she was quite surprised to 
 find that she remained the same size : to be sure, 
 this is what generally happens when one eats 
 cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of 
 expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to 
 
14 DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 
 
 happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for 
 life to go on in the common way. 
 
 So she set to work, and very soon finished of 
 the cake. 
 
15 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE POOL OF TEARS. 
 
 •' Curiouser and cu- 
 riouser ! " cried Alice 
 (she was so much sur- 
 prised, that for the 
 moment she quite for- 
 got how to speak good 
 English) ; " now I'm 
 opening out like the 
 largest telescope that 
 ever was ! Good-bye, 
 feet ! " (for when she 
 looked down at her 
 feet, they seemed to 
 be almost out of sight, 
 they were getting so 
 far off) " Oh, my poor 
 little feet, I wonder 
 
16 THE POOL . 
 
 who will put on your shoes and stockings for you 
 you now, dears? I'm sure /shan't be able! I 
 shall be a great deal too far off to trouble my- 
 self about you : you must manage the best way 
 you can ; — but I must be kind to them," thought 
 Alice, " or perhaps they won't walk the way I 
 want to go ! Let me see : I'll give them a new 
 pair of boots every Christmas." 
 
 And she went on planning to herself how she 
 would manage it. " They must go by the car- 
 rier," she thought ; " and how funny it'll seem, 
 sending presents to one's own feet ! And how 
 odd the directions will look ! 
 
 Alice s Right Foot, Esq., 
 Hearthrug, 
 
 near the Feiider, 
 
 {with Alice s love) 
 
 Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking ! " 
 
 Just at this moment her head struck against the 
 roof of the hall : in fact she was now rather more 
 than nine feet high, and she at once took up the 
 little golden key and hurried off to the garden door. 
 
OF TEARS. 17 
 
 Poor Alice ! It was as much as she could do, 
 lying down on one side, to look through into 
 the garden with one eye ; but to get through was 
 more hopeless than ever : she sat down and be- 
 gan to cry again. 
 
 " You oucrht to be ashamed of yourself," said 
 Alice, " a great girl like you," (she might well say 
 this,) "to go on crying in this way! Stop this 
 moment, I tell you ! " But she went on all the 
 same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a 
 large pool all round her, about four inches deep 
 and reaching half down the hall. 
 
 After a time she heard a little pattering of feet 
 in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to 
 see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit 
 returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white 
 kid gloves in one hand and a laro-e fan in the 
 other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, 
 muttering to himself as he came, " Oh ! the 
 Duchess, the Duchess ! Oh ! won't she be sav- 
 age if I've kept her waiting ! " Alice felt so des- 
 perate that she was ready to ask help of any oen ; 
 
18 
 
 THE POOL 
 
 so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, 
 
 in a low, timid voice, " If you please, sir " 
 
 The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white 
 kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into 
 the darkness as hard as he could go. 
 
OF TEAi'.S 10 
 
 Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the 
 hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the 
 time she went on talking : " Dear, dear ! How 
 queer everything is to-day ! And yesterday things 
 went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been 
 changed in the night ? Let me think : was I the 
 same when I got up this morning ? I almost 
 think I can remember feeling a little different- 
 But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 
 Who in the world am I ? Ah, that's the great 
 puzzle!" And she began thinking over all the 
 children she knew, that were of the same age as 
 herself, to see if she could have been changed for 
 any of them. 
 
 " I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, " for her hair 
 goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go 
 in ringlets at all ; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, 
 for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh ! she 
 knows such a very little ! Besides, shes she, and 
 / 'm I, and — oh dear, how puzzling it all is ! I'll 
 try if I know all the things I used to know. Let 
 me see : four times five is twelve, and four times 
 six is thirteen, and four times seven is — oh 
 
20 THE POOL 
 
 dear ! I shall never get to twenty at that 
 rate ! However, the Multiplication Table don't 
 signify : let's try Geography. London is the 
 capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, 
 and Rome — no, that's all wrong, I'm certain ! I 
 must have been changed for Mabel ! I'll try and 
 say ' How doth the little — ' " and she crossed her 
 hands on her lap, as if she were saying lessons, 
 and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded 
 hoarse and strange, and the words did not come 
 the same as they used to do : — 
 
 " How doth the little crocodile 
 Improve his shining tail, 
 And pour the zvatcrs of the Nile 
 On every golden scale ! 
 
 How cheerfully he seems to grin, 
 How neatly spreads his claws, 
 
 And welcomes little fishes in 
 With gently smiling jaws ! " 
 
OF TEARS. 21 
 
 " I'm sure those are not the right words," said 
 poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as 
 she went on, " I must be Mabel after all, and I 
 shall have to go and live in that poky little house, 
 and have next to no toys to play with, and oh ! 
 ever so many lessons to learn ! No, I've made up 
 my mind about it : if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! 
 It'll be no use their putting their heads down and 
 saying, ' Come up again, dear ! ' I shall only look 
 up and say, ' Who am I, then ? Tell me that 
 first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll 
 come up : if not, I'll stay clown here till I'm some- 
 body else' — but, oh dear ! " cried Alice with a 
 sudden burst of tears, " I do wish they would put 
 their heads down ! I am so very tired of being 
 all alone here ! " 
 
 As she said this, she looked down at her hands, 
 and was surprised to see that she had put on one 
 of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she 
 was talking. " How can I have done that ? " she 
 thought. I must be growing small again." She 
 got up and went to the table to measure herself 
 by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, 
 
22 THE POOL 
 
 she was now about two feet high, and was going 
 on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that 
 the cause of this was the fan she was holding, 
 and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save 
 herself from shrinking away altogether. 
 
 " That was a narrow escape ! " said Alice, a 
 good deal frightened at the sudden change, but very 
 glad to find herself still in existence; " and now 
 for the garden ! " and she ran with all speed back 
 to the little door: but alas! the little door was 
 shut again, and the little golden key was lying 
 on the glass table as before, " and things are 
 worse than ever," thought the poor child, " for I 
 never was so small as this before, never ! And I 
 declare it's too bad, that it is ! " 
 
 As she said these words her foot slipped, and 
 in another moment, splash ! she was up to her 
 chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she 
 had somehow fallen into the sea, " and in that 
 case I can go back by railway," she said to her- 
 self. (Alice had been to the seaside once in her 
 life, and had come to the general conclusion, that 
 wherever you go to on the English coast you find 
 
OF TEARS. 
 
 23 
 
 a number of bathing machines in the sea, some 
 children digging in the sand with wooden spades, 
 then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a 
 railway station.) However she soon made out 
 that she was in the pool of tears which she had 
 wept when she was nine feet high. 
 
 " I wish I hadn't cried so much ! " said Alice, 
 as she swam about, trying to find her way out, 
 " I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by 
 
24 THE POOL 
 
 being drowned in my own tears ! That will be 
 a queer thing, to be sure ! However, everything 
 is queer to-day." 
 
 Just then she heard something splashing about 
 in the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer 
 to make out what it was : at first she thought it 
 must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she 
 remembered how small she was now, and she 
 soon made out that it was only a mouse, that had 
 slipped in like herself. 
 
 " Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, 
 " to speak to this mouse ? Everything is so out- 
 of-the-way down here, that I should think very 
 likely it can talk : at any rate there's no harm in 
 trying." So she began : " O Mouse, do you 
 know the way out of this pool ? I am very tired 
 of swimming about here, O Mouse!" (Alice 
 thought this must be the right way of speaking to 
 a mouse : she had never done such a thing be- 
 fore, but she remembered having seen in 
 her brothers Latin Grammar, " A mouse — 
 of a mouse — to a mouse — a mouse — O mouse! ") 
 The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, 
 
OF TEARS. 25 
 
 and seemed to her to wink with one of its little 
 eyes, but it said nothing. 
 
 "Perhaps it doesn't understand English," 
 thought Alice ; " I daresay it's a French mouse, 
 come over with William the Conqueror."' (For, 
 with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no 
 very clear notion how long ago anything had 
 happened.) So she began again : " Ou est ma 
 chatte ? " which was the first sentence in her 
 French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden 
 leap out of the water, and seemed to ouiver 
 all over with fright. " Oh, I beg your pardon ! " 
 cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the 
 poor animal's feelings. " I quite forgot you 
 didn't like cats."' 
 
 " Not like cats ! " cried the Mouse, in a shrill, 
 passionate voice. " Would you like cats if you 
 were me ? " 
 
 " Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a sooth- 
 ing tone : " don't be angry about it. And yet 
 I wish I could show you our cat Dinah : I 
 think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could 
 
2G 
 
 THE POOL 
 
 only see her. She is such a dear quiet thine," 
 Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily 
 
 about in the pool, " and she sits purring so 
 nicely by the fire, licking her paws and wash- 
 ing her face— and she is such a nice soft thino- 
 to nurse— and she's such a capital one for catch 
 
 ing mice oh, I beg your pardon ! " cried Alice 
 
 again, for this time the Mouse was bristling 
 all over, and she felt certain it must be really 
 offended. " We won't talk about her any more 
 if you'd rather not." 
 
OF TEAKS. 27 
 
 " We, indeed ! " cried the Mouse, who was 
 trembling clown to the end of his tail. " As if 
 / would talk on such a subject! Our family 
 always hated cats : nasty, low, vulgar things ! 
 Don't let me hear the name a^ain ! " 
 
 " I won t indeed ! " said Alice, in a great 
 hurry to change the subject of conversation. 
 "Are you — are you fond — of — of dogs ? " The 
 Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 
 " There is such a nice little dog near our house- 
 I should like to show you! A little bright- 
 eyed terrier, you know, with oh ! such long 
 curlv brown hair ! And it'll fetch things when 
 you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for 
 its dinner, and all sorts of things — I can't re- 
 member half of them — and it belongs to a 
 farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, 
 it's worth a hundred pounds ! He says it kills 
 all the rats and — oh dear ! " cried Alice in a 
 sorrowful tone. " I'm afraid I've offended it 
 again ! " For the Mouse was swimming away 
 from her as hard as it could go, and making 
 quite a commotion in the pool as it went. 
 
28 THE TOOL OF TEARS. 
 
 So she called softly after it: "Mouse dear! 
 Do come back again, and we won't talk about 
 cats or clogs cither, if you don't like them!" 
 When the Mouse heard this, it turned round 
 and swam slowly back to her : its face was 
 quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and 
 it said in a low, trembling voice, " Let us get 
 to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, 
 ana you'll understand why it is I hate cats and 
 dogs." 
 
 It was high time to go, for the pool was 
 getting quite crowded with the birds and ani- 
 mals that had fallen into it : there was a Duck 
 and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several 
 other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and 
 the whole party swam to the shore. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE, 
 
 They were indeed a queer-looking party that 
 assembled on the bank — the birds with draggled 
 feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close 
 
30 A CAUCUS-BACB 
 
 to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncom- 
 fortable. 
 
 The first question of course was, how to get 
 dry again: they had a consultation about this, 
 and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural 
 to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with 
 them, as if she had known them all her life. 
 Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the 
 Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only 
 say, " I am older than you, and must know better ; " 
 and this Alice would not allow, without knowing 
 how old it was, and as the Lory positively re- 
 fused to tell its age, there was no more to be 
 said. 
 
 At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person 
 of some authority among them, called out, "Sit 
 down, all of you, and listen to me! Ill soon 
 make you dry enough ! " They all sat down at 
 once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the 
 middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on 
 it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if 
 she did not get dry very soon. 
 
 " Ahem ! " said the Mouse with an important 
 
AND A LONG TALE. 31 
 
 air, "are you all ready? This is the dryest thing 
 I know. Silence all round, if you please ! ' Wil- 
 liam the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by 
 the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, 
 who wanted leaders, and had been of late much 
 accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin 
 and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northum- 
 na — 
 
 " Ugh ! " said the Lory, with a shiver. 
 
 " I beg your pardon ? " said the Mouse, frown- 
 ing, but very politely : " Did you speak ? " 
 
 " Not I ! " said the Lory, hastily. 
 
 " I thought you did," said the Mouse. — " I pro- 
 ceed. ' Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia 
 and Northumbria, declared for him ; and even 
 Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, 
 found it advisable — ' ' 
 
 " Found what? " said the Duck. 
 
 " Found //," the Mouse replied rather crossly : 
 " of course you know what ' it ' means." 
 
 " I know what ' it ' means well enough when 
 /find a thing," said the Duck : " it's generally a 
 frog or a worm. The question is, what did the 
 archbishop find ? " 
 
32 A CAT7CUS-EACE 
 
 The Mouse did not notice this question, but 
 hurriedly went on, " ' — found it advisable to go 
 with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer 
 him the crown. William's conduct at first was 
 moderate. But the insolence of his Normans — ' 
 How are you getting on now, my dear? " it con- 
 tinued, turning to Alice as it spoke. 
 
 " As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy 
 tone : " it doesn't seem to dry me at all." 
 
 " In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising 
 to its feet, " I move that the meeting adjourn, 
 for the immediate adoption of more energetic 
 remedies — " 
 
 " Speak English ! " said the Eaglet. " I don't 
 know the meaning of half those long words, and 
 what's more, I don't believe you do either ! " And 
 the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: 
 some of the other birds tittered audibly. 
 
 " What I was going to say," said the Dodo in 
 an offended tone, " was, that the best thing to get 
 us dry would be a Caucus-race." 
 
 " What is a Caucus-race ? " said Alice ; not 
 that she much wanted to know, but the Dodo 
 
AND A LONG TALE. 33 
 
 had paused as if it thought that somebody ought 
 to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say 
 anything. 
 
 " Why," said the Dodo, " the best way to ex- 
 plain it is to do it." (And as you might like to 
 try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell 
 you how the Dodo managed it.) 
 
 First it marked out a race-course, in a sort 
 of circle, (" the exact shape doesn't matter," it 
 said,) and then all the party were placed along the 
 course, here and there. There was no " One, 
 two, three, and away," but they began running 
 when they liked, and left off when they liked, so 
 that it was not easy to know when the race was 
 over. However, when they had been running 
 half-an-hour or so, and were quite dry again, the 
 Dodo suddenly called out, " The race is over ! " 
 and they all crowded round it, panting, and ask- 
 ing, " But who has won ? " 
 
 This question the Dodo could not answer 
 without a great deal of thought, and it sat for 
 a long time with one finger pressed upon its 
 forehead, (the position in which you usually see 
 
34 A CAUCUS-RACE 
 
 Shakespeare, in the pictures of him,) while the 
 rest waited in silence. At last the Doclo said, 
 " Everybody has won, and all must have 
 prizes." 
 
 " But who is to give the prizes ? " quite a chorus 
 of voices asked. 
 
 " Why, she, of course," said the Doclo, pointing 
 to Alice with one ringer; and the whole party 
 at once crowded round her, calling out in a con- 
 fused way, " Prizes ! Prizes ! " 
 
 Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair 
 she put her hand into her pocket, and pulled out 
 a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not 
 got into it, and handed them round as prizes. 
 There was exactly one a-piece, all round. 
 
 " But she must have a prize herself, you know," 
 said the Mouse. 
 
 " Of course," the Dodo replied very gravely. 
 " What else have you got in your pocket ? " he 
 went on, turning to Alice. 
 
 " Only a thimble," said Alice sadly. 
 
 " Hand it over here," said the Dodo. 
 
 Then they all crowded round her once more, 
 
AND A LONG TALE. 
 
 35 
 
 while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, 
 saying, " We beg your acceptance of this elegant 
 thimble ; " and, when it had finished this short 
 speech, they all cheered. 
 
36 A CAUCUS-HACE 
 
 Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, 
 but they all looked so grave that she did not dare 
 to laugh, and as she could not think of anything 
 to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, 
 looking as solemn as she could. 
 
 The next thing was to eat the comfits : this 
 caused some noise and confusion, as the large 
 birds complained that they could not taste theirs, 
 and the small ones choked and had to be patted 
 on the back. However it was over at last, and 
 they sat down again in a ring, and begged the 
 Mouse to tell them something more. 
 
 " You promised to tell me your history, you 
 know,' 1 said .Alice, "and why it is you hate — C 
 and D," she added in a whisper, half afraid that 
 it would be offended again. 
 
 •' Mine is a long and a sad tale ! " said the 
 Mouse, turning to Alice, and sicjiinsr. 
 
 " It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, look- 
 ing down with wonder at the Mouse's tail; 
 "but why do you call it sad?" And she kept on 
 puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, 
 
AND A LONG TALE. 37 
 
 so that her idea of the tale was something like 
 
 £> 
 
 this : " Fury said to 
 
 a mouse, That 
 he met 
 in the 
 house, 
 ' Let us 
 both go 
 to law : 
 / will 
 prosecute 
 you.— 
 Come, I'll 
 take no 
 denial ; 
 We inn 
 
 have a 
 trial : 
 For 
 really 
 this 
 morning 
 I've 
 nothing 
 to do, ' 
 Said the 
 mouse to 
 the cur, 
 ' Such a 
 trial 
 dear sir, 
 With no 
 jury or 
 judge, 
 would be 
 wasting 
 
 our breath.' 
 'I'll be 
 judge, 
 I'll be 
 jury,' 
 faaid 
 cunning 
 
 old Fury : 
 'I'll try 
 
 the whole 
 cause, 
 ana 
 condemn 
 you 
 to 
 death.' »» 
 
38 A CAUCUS-RACE 
 
 " You are not attending ! " said the Mouse to 
 Alice, severely. " What are you thinking of? " 
 
 " I beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly . 
 "you had got to the fifth bend, I think? " 
 
 " I had not ! " cried the Mouse, sharply and 
 very angrily. 
 
 " A knot ! " said Alice, always ready to make 
 herself useful, and looking anxiously about her. 
 
 " Oh do let me help to undo it ! " 
 
 " I shall do nothing of the sort," said the Mouse, 
 getting up and walking away. " You insult me 
 by talking such nonsense ! " 
 
 " I didn't mean it ! " pleaded poor Alice. " But 
 you're so easily offended, you know ! " 
 
 The Mouse only growled in reply. 
 
 "Please come back, and finish your story!" 
 Alice called after it ; and the others all joined in 
 chorus, " Yes, please do ! " but the Mouse only 
 shook its head impatiently, and walked a little 
 quicker. 
 
 " What a pity it wouldn't stay ! " sighed the 
 Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight ; and 
 an old crab took the opportunity of saying to her 
 
AND A LONG TALE. 39 
 
 daughter. " Ah, my dear ! Let this be a lesson 
 to you never to lose your temper! " " Hold your 
 tongue, Ma ! " said the young crab, a little snap- 
 pishly. " You're enough to try the patience of 
 an oyster ! " 
 
 " I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do ! " 
 said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. 
 " She'd soon fetch it back ! " 
 
 " And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask 
 the question ? ' : said the Lory. 
 
 Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready 
 to talk about her pet. " Dinah's our cat. And 
 she's such a capital one for catching mice, you 
 can't think ! And oh, I wish you could see her 
 after the birds ! Why she'll eat a little bird as 
 soon as look at it I " 
 
 This speech caused a remarkable sensation 
 among the party. Some of the birds hurried 
 off at once : one old magpie began wrapping it- 
 self up very carefully, remarking, " I really must 
 be getting home ; the night-air doesn't suit my 
 throat ! " and a canary called out in a trembling 
 voice to its children, " Come away, my dears 1 
 
40 A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 
 
 It's high time you were all in bed ! " On various 
 pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon 
 left alone. 
 
 " I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah ! " she said 
 to herself in a melancholy tone. " Nobody seems 
 to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best 
 cat in the world ! Oh, my dear Dinah ! I won- 
 der if I shall ever see you any more ! " And here 
 poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very 
 lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, how- 
 ever, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps 
 in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half 
 hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, 
 and was coming back to finish his story. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back 
 again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as 
 if it had lost something ; and she heard it mut- 
 tering to itself, " The Duchess ! The Duchess ! 
 Oh my dear paws ! Oh my fur and whiskers ! 
 She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are fer- 
 rets ! Where can I have dropped them, I won- 
 der ! " Alice guessed in a moment that it was 
 looking for the fan and the pair of white kid 
 gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunt- 
 
42 THE IlARBIT SENDS 
 
 ing about for them, but they were nowhere to be 
 seen — everything seemed to have changed since 
 her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the 
 glass table and the little door, had vanished com- 
 pletely. 
 
 Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she 
 went hunting about, and called out to her in an 
 angry tone, " Why, Mary Ann, what are you do- 
 ing out here ? Run home this moment, and 
 fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan ! Quick, 
 now!" And Alice was so much frightened that 
 she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, 
 without trying to explain the mistake that it had 
 made. 
 
 ' : He took me for his housemaid," she said to 
 herself as she ran. " How surprised he'll be when 
 he finds out who I am ! But I'd better take him 
 his fan and gloves — that is, if I can find them." 
 As she said this, she came upon a neat little 
 house, on the door of which was a bright 
 brass plate with the name " W. RABBIT," 
 engraved upon it. She went in without knock- 
 ing, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest 
 
IN" A LITTLE BILL. 43 
 
 she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be 
 turned out of the house before she had found the 
 fan and gloves. 
 
 " How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, 
 " to be going messages for a rabbit ! I suppose 
 Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!" 
 And she began fancying the sort of thing that 
 would happen : " ' Miss Alice ! Come here di- 
 rectly, and get ready for your walk ! ' ' Coming- 
 in a minute, nurse ! But I've got to watch this 
 mousehole till Dinah comes back, and see that 
 the mouse doesn't get out' Only I don't think," 
 Alice went on, " that they'd let Dinah stop in 
 the house if it began ordering people about like 
 that!" 
 
 By this time she had found her way into 
 a tidy little room with a table in the window, 
 and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or 
 three pairs of tiny white kid gloves : she took 
 up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was 
 just going to leave the room, when her eye fell 
 upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- 
 glass. There was no label this time with the 
 
44 THE IlABBIT SENDS 
 
 words " DRINK ME," but nevertheless she un- 
 corked it and put it to her lips. " I know 
 something interesting is sure to happen," she 
 said to herself, " whenever I eat or drink any- 
 thing ; so I'll just see what this bottle does. 
 I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for 
 really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny 
 little thing!" 
 
 It did so indeed, and much sooner than she 
 had expected; before she had drunk half the 
 bottle, she found her head pressing against the 
 ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from 
 being broken. She hastily put down the bottle, 
 saying to herself, " That's quite enough — I hope 
 I shan't grow any more — As it is, I can't get 
 out at the door — I do wish I hadn't drunk quite 
 so much ! " 
 
 Alas ! It was too late to wish that ! She 
 went on growing and growing, and very soon 
 had to kneel down on the floor; in another 
 minute there was not even room for this, and 
 she tried the effect of lying down, with one 
 elbow against the door, and the other arm curled 
 
IN A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 & 
 
 round her head. Still she went on growing, 
 and, as a last resource, she put one arm out of 
 the window, and one foot up the chimney, and 
 said to herself, " Now I can do no more, what- 
 ever happens. What will become of me ? " 
 
 Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had 
 now had its full effect, and she grew no larger : 
 still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there 
 seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever 
 
46 THIS RABBIT SENDS 
 
 getting out of the room again, no wonder she 
 felt unhappy. 
 
 " It was much pleasanter at home," thought 
 poor Alice, " when one wasn't always growing 
 larger and smaller, and being ordered about by 
 mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't oone 
 down that rabbit-hole — and yet — and yet — it's 
 rather curious, you know, this sort of life ! I 
 do wonder what can have happened to me ! 
 When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that 
 kind of thing never happened, and now here I 
 am in the middle of one ! There ought to be 
 a book written about me, that there ought ! 
 And when I grow up, I'll write one — but I'm 
 grown up now," she added in a sorrowful tone, 
 •' at least there's no room to grow up any more 
 here. 
 
 " But then," thought Alice, " shall I never 
 get any older than I am now ? That'll be a 
 comfort, one way — never to be an old woman 
 — but then — always to have lessons to learn ! 
 Oh, I shouldn't like that/" 
 
 " Oh, you foolish Alice ! " she answered her- 
 
IN A LITTLE BILL. 47 
 
 self. " How can you learn lessons in here ? 
 Why, there's hardly room for you, and no room 
 at all for any lesson-books ! " 
 
 And so she went on, taking first one side and 
 then the other, and making quite a conversation 
 of it altogether, but after a few minutes she 
 heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 
 
 " Mary Ann ! Mary Ann ! " said the voice, 
 " fetch me my gloves this moment ! " Then came 
 a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice 
 knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, 
 and she trembled till she shook the house, quite 
 forgetting that she was now about a thousand 
 times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason 
 to be afraid of it. 
 
 Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, 
 and tried to open it, but as the door opened 
 inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard 
 against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice 
 heard it say to itself, " Then I'll go round and 
 get in at the window." 
 
 " That you won't ! " thought Alice, and, after 
 waiting till she fancied she heard the Rabbit 
 
48 
 
 THE BABBIT SENDS 
 
 just under the window she suddenly spread 
 
 out her hand, and 
 made a snatch in the 
 air. She did not get 
 hold of anything, but 
 she heard a little 
 shriek and a fall, 
 and a crash of bro- 
 ken glass,f rom which 
 she concluded that 
 it was just possible 
 it had fallen into a 
 cucumber-frame, or 
 something of the 
 sort. 
 
 Next came an angry voice — the Rabbit's — 
 "Pat! Pat! Where are you?" And then a 
 voice she had never heard before, " Sure then, 
 I'm here ! Digging for apples, yer honor! " 
 
 " Digging for apples, indeed ! " said the 
 Rabbit angrily. " Here ! Come and help me 
 out of this" ! (Sounds of more broken glass.) 
 " Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the win- 
 dow? 
 
IN A LITTLE BILL. 49 
 
 " Sore, It's an arm, yer honor ! " (He pro- 
 nounced it " arrum.") 
 
 '' An arm, you goose ! Who ever saw one that 
 size? Why, it fills the whole window! " 
 
 " Sure, it does, yer honor : but it's an arm for 
 all that." 
 
 " Well, it's got no business there, at any rate : 
 go and take it away ! " 
 
 There was a long silence after this, and Alice 
 could only hear whispers now and then, such as, 
 " Sure, I don't like it, yer honor, at all at all ! ' 
 " Do as I tell you, you coward ! " and at last she 
 spread out her hand again and made another 
 snatch in the air. This time there were two little 
 shrieks and more sounds of broken glass. "What 
 a number of cucumber frames there must be ! " 
 thought Alice. " I wonder what they'll do next ! 
 As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish 
 they could ! " I'm sure /don't want to stay in here 
 any longer ! " 
 
 She waited for some time without hearing any- 
 thing more : at last came a rumbling of little 
 cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many voices 
 
50 THE RABBIT SENDS 
 
 all talking together : she made out the words, 
 " Where's the other ladder ? — Why, I hadn't to 
 bring; but one : Bill's £jot the other — Bill ! fetch 
 it here, lad ! — Here, put 'em up at this corner — 
 No, tie 'em together first — they don't reach half 
 high enough yet — Oh ! they'll do well enough ; 
 don't be particular — Here, Bill ! catch hold of 
 this rope — Will the roof bear ? — Mind that 
 loose slate — Oh, it's coming down ! Heads 
 below! " (a loud crash) — " Now, who did that ? — 
 It was Bill, I fancy — Who's to £o down the 
 chimney? — Nay, /shan't ! You do it ! — That I 
 won't then ! — Bill's got to go down — Here, Bill ! 
 the master says you've got to go down the 
 chimney ! " 
 
 " Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chim- 
 ney has he?" said Alice to herself. "Why, 
 they seem to put everything upon Bill! I 
 wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal : 
 this fireplace is narrow, to be sure, but I think I 
 can kick a little " 
 
 She drew her foot as far down the chimney as 
 she could, and waited till she beard a little animal 
 
IN A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 51 
 
 pened to you ? 
 
 (she couldn't guess of 
 what sort it was) scratch- 
 ing and scrambling 
 about in the chimney 
 close above her : then, 
 saying to herself, " This 
 is Bill," she gave one 
 sharp kick, and waited to 
 see what would happen 
 next. 
 
 The first thing she 
 heard was a general 
 chorus of " There goes 
 Bill ? " then the Rabbit's 
 voice alone, " Catch him, 
 you by the hedge ! " then 
 silence, and then an- 
 other confusion of voices 
 - — " Hold up his head 
 — Brandy now — Don't 
 choke him — How was it, 
 old fellow ? What hap- 
 Tell us all about it ! " 
 
52 THE RABBIT SEXDS 
 
 Last came a little feeble squeaking voice, 
 (" That's Bill," thought Alice,) " Well, I hardly 
 know — No more, thank'ye, I'm better now — but 
 I'm a deal too flustered to tell you — all I know 
 is, something comes at me like a jack-in-the-box, 
 and up I goes like a sky-rocket ! " 
 
 " So you did, old fellow ! " said the others. 
 
 " We must burn the house down ! " said the 
 Rabbit's voice, and Alice called out as loud as 
 she could, " If you do, I'll set Dinah at you ! " 
 
 There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice 
 thought to herself, " I wonder what they will do 
 next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof 
 off." After a minute or two they began moving 
 about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, " A 
 barrowful will do, to begin with." 
 
 " A barrowful of what?''' 1 thought Alice; but 
 she had not long to doubt, for the next moment 
 a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the 
 window, and some of them hit her in the face. 
 '.' I'll put a stop to this," she said to herself, and 
 shouted out, " You'd better not do that again ! " 
 which produced another dead silence. 
 
IN A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 Alice noticed with some surprise that the 
 pebbles were all turning into little cakes as they 
 lav on the floor, and a bright idea came into her 
 head. " If I eat one of these cakes," she thought, 
 " it's sure to make some change in my size : and 
 as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make 
 me smaller, I suppose." 
 
 So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was 
 delighted to find that she began shrinking 
 directly. As soon as she was small enough to 
 get through the door, she ran out of the house, 
 and found quite a crowd of little animals and 
 birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, 
 Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two 
 guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out 
 of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the 
 moment she appeared, but she ran off as hard 
 as she could, and soon found herself safe in a 
 thick wood. 
 
 " The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to 
 herself, as she wandered about in the wood, "is 
 to grow to my right size again ; and the second 
 
5-1 THE RABBIT SENDS 
 
 thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I 
 think that will be the best plan." 
 
 It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and 
 very neatly and simply arranged ; the only diffi- 
 culty was, that she had not the smallest idea how 
 to set about it ; and while she was peering about 
 anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark 
 just over her head made her look up in a great 
 hurry. 
 
 An enormous puppy was looking down at 
 her with large round eyes, and feebly stretching 
 out one paw. trying to touch her. " Poor little 
 thing ! " said Alice in a coaxing tone, and she 
 tried hard to whistle to it, but she was terribly 
 frightened all the time at the thought that it 
 might be hungry, in which case it would be very 
 likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 
 
 Hardly knowing what she did, she picked 
 up a little bit of stick, and held it out to the 
 puppy ; whereupon the puppy jumped into the 
 air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of 
 delight, and rushed at the stick, and made be- 
 lieve to worry it; then Alice dodged behind 
 
nST A LITTLE BILL. 
 
 55 
 
 a great thistle, to keep herself from being run 
 over, and, the moment she appeared on the 
 other side, the puppy made another rush at the 
 
56 THE HABBIT SENDS 
 
 stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry 
 to get hold of it ; then Alice, thinking it was 
 very like having a game of play with a cart- 
 horse, and expecting every moment to be tram- 
 pled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; 
 then the puppy began a series of short charges 
 at the stick, running a very little way forwards 
 each time and a long way back, and bark- 
 ing hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat 
 clown a good way off, panting, with its tongue 
 hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half 
 shut. 
 
 This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for 
 making her escape, so she set off at once, and 
 ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, 
 and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in 
 the distance. 
 
 " And yet what a dear little puppy it was ! " 
 said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup to 
 rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the 
 leaves ; " I should have liked teaching it tricks 
 very much, if— if I'd enly been the right size 
 to doit! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that 
 
IN A LITTLE BILL. 57 
 
 I've got to grow up again ! Let me see — how 
 is it to be managed ? I suppose I ought to eat 
 or drink something or other; but the great 
 question is, what ? " 
 
 The great question certainly was, what? 
 Alice looked all round her at the flowers and 
 the blades of grass, but she could not see any- 
 thing: that looked like the rio-ht thins- to eat 
 or drink under the circumstances. There was a 
 large mushroom growing near her, about the 
 same height as herself, and when she had looked 
 under it. and on both sides of it, and behind it, 
 it occurred to her that she misht as well look and 
 see what was on the top of it. 
 
 She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped 
 over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes 
 immediately met those of a large blue cater- 
 pillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms 
 folded, quietlv smoking a long hookah, and taking 
 not the smallest notice of her or of anything 
 else. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each 
 other for some time in silence : at last the 
 Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, 
 and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 59 
 
 "Who are you ?" said the Caterpillar. 
 
 This was not an encouraging opening for a 
 conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, " I — I 
 hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know 
 who I was when I got up this morning, but I 
 think I must have been changed several times 
 since then." 
 
 " What do you mean by that ? " said the Cater- 
 pillar sternly. " Explain yourself ! " 
 
 " I can't explain myself^ I'm afraid, sir," 
 said Alice, " because I'm not myself, you 
 see." 
 
 " I don't see," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," 
 Alice replied very politely, " for I can't under- 
 stand it myself to begin with ; and being so 
 many different sizes in a day is very confus- 
 ing. 
 
 " It isn't," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," 
 said Alice; "but when you have to turn into a 
 chrysalis — you will some day, you know — and 
 
GO ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 then after that into a butterfly, I should think 
 you'll feel it a little queer, won't you ? '' 
 
 c; Not a bit," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, perhaps your feelings may be differ- 
 ent," said Alice; "all I know is, it would feel 
 very queer to mc."_ 
 
 " You ? " said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 
 " Who are you ? " 
 
 Which brought them back asfain to the be- 
 ginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little 
 irritated at the Caterpillar's making such very 
 short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, 
 very gravely, " I think you ought to tell me who 
 you are, first." 
 
 " Why ? " said the Caterpillar. 
 
 Here was another puzzling question ; and, as 
 Alice could not think of any good reason, and 
 as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very un- 
 pleasant state of mind, she turned away. 
 
 ' : Come back ! " the Caterpillar called after her. 
 " I've something important to say! " 
 
 This sounded promising, certainly: Alice 
 turned and came back again. 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 31 
 
 £; Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar. 
 '' : Is that all?" said Alice, swallowing down 
 her anger as well as she" could. 
 
 " No," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 Alice thought she might as well wait, as she 
 had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it 
 might tell her something worth hearing. For 
 some minutes it puffed away without speaking, 
 but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah 
 out of its mouth again, and said, ll So you think 
 you're changed, do you ? " 
 
 "I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; "I can't 
 remember things as I used — and I don't keep 
 the same size for ten minutes together! " 
 
 "Can't remember what things ?"• said the 
 Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, I've tried to say ' How doth the little 
 busy bee,' but it all came different ! " Alice re- 
 plied in a very melancholy voice. 
 
 " Repeat ' You arc old, Father William^ " said 
 the Caterpillar. 
 
 Alics mldecl her hands, and began ;— ■ 
 
62 
 
 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 " You are old, father William" the young man said, 
 " And yotir hair has become very white ; 
 
 And yet you incessantly stand on your head- 
 Do you think, at yozir age, it is right?" 
 
 " In my youth" father William replied to /its sou, 
 " I feared it might injure the brain ; 
 
 But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, 
 Why, I do it again and again" 
 
ADVICE PROM A CATERPILLAR 
 
 03 
 
 " You are old" said the youth, " as I mentioned be- 
 fore, 
 
 And have grown most uncommonly fat ; 
 Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door — 
 
 Pray, what is the reason of that ? y 
 
 " In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray 
 lochs, 
 
 " / kept all my limbs very supple 
 By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box — ■ 
 
 Allow me to sell you a coupler 
 
64 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 spirit" 
 
 11 You are old" said the youth, " and your jaws are 
 too weak 
 
 For anything tougher than suet ; 
 Yet you finished the goose, with the doues and the 
 beak : 
 Pray, how did you manage to do it? " i 
 
 "■In my youth," said his father, " I took to the lazv, 
 And argued each case with my wife; 
 
 And the muscular strength, whichit gave to my jaw, 
 Has lasted the rest of my lifer 
 
ADVICE FllOM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 
 G5 
 
 : ;. ; £- 
 
 e/^h 
 
 vfowm 
 
 " 1W rt/r oldr said the youth ; " one would hardly 
 
 suppose 
 That your eye was as steady as ever; 
 Yet yon balanced an eel en the end of your nose — 
 What made you so awfully clever? ' 
 
 u I have answered three questions, and that is 
 enough" 
 
 Said his father ; " doii t give yourself airs ! 
 Do you thin : I can listen all day to such stuff? 
 
 Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs ! " 
 
66 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 " That is not said right," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice 
 timidly ; " some of the words have got altered." 
 
 "It is wrono- from be^innintj to end," said the 
 Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for 
 some minutes. 
 
 The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 
 
 " What size do you want to be ? " it asked. 
 
 " Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice 
 hastily replied; " only one doesn't like changing 
 so often, you know." 
 
 " I dorit know," said the Caterpillar. 
 
 Alice said nothing : she had never been so 
 much contradicted in all her life before, and she 
 felt that she was losing her temper. 
 
 " Are you content now ? " said the Caterpillar. 
 
 " Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, 
 if you wouldn't mind," said Alice : " three inches 
 is such a wretched height to be." 
 
 " It is a very good height indeed ! " said the 
 Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it 
 spoke (it was exactly three inches high). 
 
 " But I'm not used to it ! " pleaded poor 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. (37 
 
 Alice in a piteous tone. .And she thought to 
 herself, " I wish the creature wouldn't be so 
 easily offended ! " 
 
 " You'll get used to it in time," said the 
 Caterpillar ; and it put the hookah into its 
 mouth and began smoking again. 
 
 This time Alice waited patiently until it 
 chose to speak again. In a minute or two the 
 Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, 
 and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. 
 Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled 
 away into the grass, merely remarking as it went, 
 " One side will make you grow taller, and the 
 other side will make you grow shorter." 
 
 " One side of what? The other side of 
 what? " thought Alice to herself. 
 
 " Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, j-ust 
 as if she had asked it aloud ; and in another 
 moment it was out of si^ht. 
 
 Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the 
 mushroom for a minute, trying to make out 
 which were the two sides of it ; and, as it was 
 perfectly round, she found this a very difficult 
 
68 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. ■ 
 
 question. However, at last she stretched her 
 arms round it as far as they would go, and broke 
 off a bit of the edge with each hand. 
 
 " And now which is which ? " she said to her- 
 self, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to 
 fry the effect: the next moment she felt a vio- 
 lent blow underneath her chin ; it had struck 
 her foot ! 
 
 She was a good deal frightened by this very 
 sudden change, but she felt that there was no 
 time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly ; 
 so she set to work at once to eat some of the 
 other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely 
 against her foot, that there was hardly room to 
 open her mouth ; but she did it at last, and 
 managed to swallow a morsel of the left-hand 
 
 bit. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 ; ' Come, my head's free at last ! " said Alice in 
 a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in 
 another moment, when she found that her 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 69 
 
 shoulders were nowhere to be found : all she 
 could see, when she looked down, was an im- 
 mense length of neck, which seemed to rise like 
 a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far 
 below her. 
 
 " What can all that green stuff be ? " said 
 Alice. " And where have my shoulders got to ? 
 And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see 
 you ? " She was moving them about as she 
 spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a 
 little shaking among the distant green leaves. 
 
 As there seemed to be no chance of getting 
 her hands up to her head, she tried to get her 
 head down to them, and was delighted to find 
 that her neck would bend about easily in any 
 direction, like a serpent She had just succeeded 
 in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and 
 was going to dive in among the leaves, which 
 she found to be nothing but the tops of the 
 trees under which she had been wandering, when 
 a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry ; a 
 large pigeon had flown into her face, and was 
 beating her violently with its wings. 
 
70 ADVICE FKOM A CATERPILLAR. • 
 
 " Serpent ! " screamed the Pigeon. 
 
 " I'm not a serpent ! " said Alice indignantly. 
 " Let me alone ! " 
 
 " Serpent, I say again!" repeated the Pigeon, 
 but in a more subdued tone, and added with a 
 kind of sob, " I've tried every way, and nothing 
 seems to suit them ! " 
 
 " I haven't the least idea what you're talking 
 about," said Alice. 
 
 " I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried 
 banks, and I've tried hedges," the Pigeon went 
 on, without attending to her ; " but those ser- 
 pents ! There's no pleasing them ! " 
 
 Alice was more and more puzzled, but she 
 thought there was no use in saying anything 
 more till the Pigeon had finished. 
 
 " As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching: 
 the eggs," said the Pigeon, " but I must be on 
 the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, 
 I haven't had a wink of sleep these three 
 weeks ! " 
 
 " I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said 
 Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning. 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 71 
 
 " And just as I'd taken the highest tree in 
 the wood," continued the Pigeon, raising its 
 voice to a shriek " and just as I was thinking 
 I should be free of them at last, they must needs 
 come wriggling down from the sky ! Ugh ! 
 Serpent ! " 
 
 " But I'm not a serpent, I tell you ! " said Alice, 
 
 I m a 1 m a ■ 
 
 " Well ! What are you ? " said the Pigeon. 
 " I can see you're "trying to invent something! " 
 
 " I — I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubt- 
 fully, as she remembered the number of changes 
 she had gone through that day. 
 
 "A likely story indeed !" said the Pigeon in 
 a tone of the deepest contempt. " I've seen a 
 good many little girls in my time, but never cue 
 with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a 
 serpent ; and there's no use denying it. I sup- 
 pose you'll be telling me next that you never 
 tasted an egg ! " 
 
 " I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who 
 was a very truthful child; "but little girls cat 
 eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know." 
 
72 ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 
 
 "I don't believe it," said the Pigeon; ''but if 
 they do, why then they're a kind of serpent, 
 that's all I can say." 
 
 This was such a new idea to Alice, that 
 she was quite silent for a minute or two, which 
 gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 
 " You're looking for eggs, I know that well 
 enough ; and what does it matter to me whether 
 you're a little girl or a serpent ? " 
 
 " It matters a good deal to me" said Alice 
 hastily; "but I'm not looking for eggs, as it 
 happens ; and if I was, I shouldn't want yours : 
 I don't like them raw.'' 
 
 " Well, be eff, then ! " said the Pigeon in a 
 sulky tone, as it settled down again into its 
 nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as 
 well as she could, for her neck kept getting 
 entangled among the branches, and every now 
 and then she had to stop and untwist it. After 
 a while she remembered that she still held the 
 pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set 
 to work very carefully, nibbling first at one 
 and then at the other, and growing sometimes 
 
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 73 
 
 taller and sometimes shorter, until she had suc- 
 ceeded in brinsnno: herself down to her usual 
 height. 
 
 It was so long since she had been anything 
 near the right size, thai, ft felt quite strange 
 at first, but she got used to it in a few min- 
 utes, and began talking to herself as usual. 
 " Come, there's half my plan done now ! How 
 puzzling all these changes are ! I'm never sure 
 what I'm going to be, from one minute to an- 
 other ! However, I've got back to my right 
 size : the next thing is, to get into that beau- 
 tiful garden — how is that to be done, I wcn- 
 der ? " As she said this, she came suddenly upon 
 an open place, with a little house in it about 
 four feet high. " Whoever lives there," thought 
 Alice, " it'll never do to come upon them this 
 size : why, I should frighten them out of their 
 wits !" So she began nibbling at the right-hand 
 bit again, and did not venture to go near the 
 house till she had bought herself down to nine 
 inches high. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 For a minute or two she stood looking at the 
 house, and wondering what to do next, when sud- 
 denly a footman in livery came running out of 
 the wood — (she considered him to be a footman 
 because he was in livery : otherwise, judging by 
 his face only, she would have called him a fish) - 
 and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. 
 It was opened by another footman in livery, with 
 a round face and large eyes like a frog ;- and both 
 footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that 
 curled all over their heads. She felt very curious 
 
PIG AND PEPPER 
 
 75 
 
 to know what it was all about, and crept a little 
 way out of the wood to listen. 
 
 The Fish-Footman began by producing from 
 under his arm a great letter, nearly as large as 
 himself, and this he handed over to the other, 
 saying in a solemn tone, " For the Duchess. An 
 
76 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 invitation from the Queen to play croquet." The 
 Frog- Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, 
 only changing the order of the words a little, 
 " From the Queen. An invitation for the Duch- 
 ess to play croquet." 
 
 Then they both bowed low, and their curls got 
 entangled together. 
 
 Alice laughed so much at this that she had to 
 run back into the wood for fear of their hearing 
 her, and when she next peeped out the Fish- 
 Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on 
 the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into 
 the sky. 
 
 Alice went timidly up to the door, and 
 knocked. 
 
 " There's no sort of use in knocking," said 
 the Footman, " and that for two reasons. First, 
 because I'm on the same side of the door as 
 you are ; secondly, because they're making such 
 a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you." 
 And certainly there was a most extraordinary 
 noise going on within — a constant howling 
 and sneezing, and every now and then a great 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 77 
 
 crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to 
 pieces. 
 
 " Please, then," said Alice, " how am I to get 
 in? 
 
 " There might be some sense in your knock- 
 ing," the Footman went on without attending to 
 her, " if we had the door between us. For in- 
 stance, if you were inside, you might knock, and 
 I could let you out, you know." He was looking 
 up into the sky all the time he was speaking, 
 and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. " But 
 perhaps he can't help it," she said to herself ; 
 " his eyes are so very nearly at the top of his 
 head. But at any rate he might answer ques- 
 tions—How am I to get in ? " she repeated, 
 aloud. 
 
 " I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, " till 
 to-morrow " 
 
 At this moment the door of the house opened, 
 and a large plate came skimming out, straight at 
 the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and 
 broke to pieces against one of the trees behind 
 him. 
 
78 PIG AiTD PEPPER. 
 
 -or next day, maybe," the footman con- 
 
 tinued in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had 
 happened. 
 
 " How am I to sjet in?" Alice asked aoain in 
 a louder tone, 
 
 11 Are you to get in at all ? ' said the Footman, 
 u That's the first question, you know." 
 
 It was, no doubt : only Alice did not like to be 
 told so. " It's really dreadful," she muttered to 
 herself, " the way all the creatures argue. It's 
 enough to drive one crazy ! " 
 
 The Footman seemed to think this a good op- 
 portunity for repeating his remark, with varia- 
 tions. " I shall sit here," he said, " on and off, 
 for days and days." 
 
 " But what am / to do ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Anything you like," said the Footman, and 
 began whistling. ' 
 
 "Oh, there's no use in talking to him," said 
 Alice desperately : " he's perfectly idiotic ! " And 
 she opened the door and went in. 
 
 The door led right into a large kitchen, which 
 was full of smoke from one end to the other: the 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 79 
 
 Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the 
 middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning 
 over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which 
 seemed to be full of soup. 
 
 " There's certainly too much pepper in that 
 soup!" Alice said to herself, as well as she could 
 for sneezing. 
 
80 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 There was certainly too much of it in the air. 
 Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally ; and as 
 for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alter- 
 nately without a moments pause. The only two 
 creatures in the kitchen that did not sneeze, 
 were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting 
 on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. 
 
 1 Please, would you tell me," said Alice, a little 
 timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was 
 good manners for her to speak first, "why your 
 cat grins like that ? " 
 
 " It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, " and 
 that's why. Pis: ! " 
 
 She said the last word with such sudden vio- 
 lence that Alice quite jumped ; but she saw in 
 another moment that it was addressed to the 
 baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and 
 went on again : — 
 
 " I didn't know that Cheshire cats always 
 grinned ; in fact, I didn't know that cats could 
 grin." 
 
 " They all can," said the Duchess ; " and most 
 of 'em do." 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 81 
 
 " I don't know of any that do," Alice said very 
 politely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a 
 conversation. 
 
 "You don't know much," said the Duchess; 
 " and that's a fact." 
 
 Alice did not at all like the tone of this 
 remark, and thought it would be as well to 
 introduce some other subject of conversation. 
 While she was trying to fix on one, the cook 
 took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at 
 once set to work throwing everything within 
 her reach at the Duchess and the baby — the 
 fire-irons came first ; then followed a shower 
 of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess 
 took no notice of them, even when they hit her ; 
 and the baby was howling so much already, that 
 it was quite impossible to say whether the blows 
 hurt it or not. 
 
 " Oh, please mind what you're doing ! " cried 
 Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of 
 terror. " Oh, there goes hisfirecious nose ! " as 
 an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and 
 very nearly carried it off. 
 
82 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 " If everybody minded their own business," 
 said the Duchess ' in a hoarse growl, " the world 
 would go round a deal faster than it does." 
 
 " Which would not be an advantage," said 
 Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity 
 of showing off a little of her knowledge. "Just 
 think what work it would make with the day 
 and night ! You see the earth takes twenty-four 
 hours to turn round on its axis " 
 
 " Talking of axes," said the Duchess, " chop 
 off her head ! " 
 
 Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to 
 see if she meant to take the hint; but the 
 cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed 
 not to be listening, so she went on again : 
 "Twenty-four hours, I think; or is it twelve? 
 I " 
 
 " Oh, don't bother me? said the Duchess; " I 
 never could abide figures." And with that she 
 be^an nursing her child a2,ain. sino;mor i sort of 
 lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent 
 shake at U12 end of every line: — 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 83 
 
 ** Speak roughly to your little boy, 
 And beat him when he sneezes ; 
 lie only does it to annoy, 
 Because he knows it teases? 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 (in which the cook and the baby joined) : — 
 " Wow ! wow ! wcw ! " 
 
 While the Duchess sangr the second verse oi 
 the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up 
 and down, and the poor little thing howled so, 
 that Alice could hardly hear the words :— 
 
 " / speak severely to my boy, 
 I beat him when he sneezes ; 
 For he can thoroughly enjoy 
 The pepper when he pleases / " 
 
 Chorus. 
 " Wow ! wow ! wow ! " 
 
84 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 " Here ! you may nurse it a bit, if you like !" 
 said the Duchess to Alice, flinging the baby at 
 her as she spoke. " I must go and get ready to 
 play croquet with the Queen," and she hurried 
 out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan 
 after her as she v/ent, but it just missed her. 
 
 Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, 
 as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and held 
 out its arms and legs in all directions, " just like 
 a star-fish," thought Alice. The poor little thing 
 was snorting like a steam-engine when she 
 caught it, and kept doubling itself up and 
 straightening itself out again, so that altogether, 
 for the first minute or two, it was as much as 
 she could dp to hold it. 
 
 As soon as she had made out the proper way 
 of nursing it, (which was to twist it up into a 
 sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its 
 right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its 
 undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open 
 air. " If I don't take this child away with me," 
 thought Alice, " they're sure to kill it in a day 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 85 
 
 or two : wouldn't it be murder to leave it 
 behind ? " She said the last words out loud, and 
 the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off 
 sneezing by this time*. " Don't grunt," said Alice : 
 "that's not at all a proper way of expressing your- 
 self." 
 
 The baby grunted again, and Alice looked 
 very anxiously into its face to see what was the 
 matter with it. There could be no doubt that 
 it had a very turn-up nose, much more like a 
 snout than a real nose; also its eyes were get- 
 ting extremely small, for a baby; altogether 
 Alice did not like the look of the thing at all, 
 " — but perhaps it was only sobbing," she thought, 
 and looked into its eyes again, to see if there 
 were any tears. 
 
 No, there were no tears. " If you're going to 
 turn into a pig, my dear," said Alice, seriously, 
 " I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind 
 now ! " The poor little thing sobbed again, (cr 
 grunted, it was impossible to say which,) and 
 they went on for some while in silence. 
 
8fi 
 
 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 
 
 ' Now, what am I to do with this creature 
 
 when I get it home ? " when it grunted again, 
 
 so violently, that she 
 
 looked down into its 
 
 face in some alarm. 
 > 
 This time there could 
 
 be no mistake about 
 it: it was neither 
 more nor less than 
 a pig, and she felt 
 that it would be 
 quite absurd for her 
 to carry it any fur- 
 ther. * 
 
 So she set the 
 little creature down, and felt quite relieved to 
 see it trot away quietly into the wood. " If 
 it had grown up," she said to herself, " it would 
 have been a dreadfully ugly child ; but it makes 
 rather a handsome pig, I think." And she be- 
 gan thinking over other children she knew, who 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 87 
 
 might do very well as pigs, and was just saying 
 to herself, " if one only knew the right way to 
 
 change them -" when she was a little startled 
 
 by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of 
 a tree a few yards off. 
 
 The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It 
 looked good-natured, she thought ; still it had 
 very long claws and a great many teeth, so she 
 felt it ought to be treated with respect. 
 
 " Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as 
 she did not at all know whether it would like the 
 name : however, it only grinned a little wider. 
 " Come, it's pleased so far," thought Alice, and 
 she went on, " Would you tell me, please, which 
 way I ought to walk from here ? " 
 
 " That depends a good deal on where you want 
 to get to," said the Cat. 
 
 " I don't much care where " said Alice. 
 
 " Then it doesn't matter which way you walk," 
 said the Cat. 
 
 " — so long as I get somezvhere" Alice added 
 as an explanation. 
 
88 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 " Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, " if 
 you only walk long enough." 
 
 Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she 
 tried another question. " What sort of people 
 live about here ? " 
 
 " In that direction," the Cat said, waving its 
 right paw round, "lives a Hatter; and in that 
 direction," waving the other paw, " lives a March 
 Hare. Visit either you like: they're both 
 mad." 
 
 " But I don't want to go among mad people," 
 Alice remarked. 
 
 " Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat : " we're 
 all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." 
 
 " How do you know I'm mad ? " said Alice. 
 
 "You must be," said the Cat, "or you 
 wouldn't have come here." 
 
 Alice didn't think that proved it at all ; how- 
 ever, she went on ; " and how do you know that 
 you're mad ? " 
 
 " To begin with," said the Cat, " a dog's not 
 mad. You grant that ? " 
 I suppose so," said Alice. 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 89 
 
 **->, 
 
 " " V %>- JPJft- . ^-fv. 
 
 " Well then," the Cat 
 went on, " you see a dog 
 growls when it's angry. 
 and wags its tail when it's 
 pleased. Now / growl 
 when I'm pleased, and wag 
 my tail when I'm angry. 
 Therefore I'm mad." 
 
 " / call it purring, not 
 growling," said Alice. 
 
 " Call it what you like." 
 said the Cat. " Do you 
 croquet with the Queen to-day ? " 
 
90 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 " I should like it very much," said Alice, " but 
 I haven't been invited vet. 1 ' 
 
 J 
 
 " You'll see me there," said the Cat, and van- 
 ished. 
 
 Alice was not much surprised at this, she 
 was getting so well used to queer things hap- 
 pening. While she was still looking at the 
 place where it had been, it suddenly appeared 
 again. 
 
 " By-the-bye, what became of the baby ? " said 
 the Cat. " I'd nearly forgotten to ask." 
 
 " It turned into a pig," Alice answered very 
 quietly, just as if the Cat had come back in a 
 natural way. 
 
 11 I thought it would," said the Cat, and van- 
 ished again. 
 
 Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it 
 again, but it did not appear, and after a minute 
 or two she walked on in the direction in which 
 the March Hare was said to live. " I've seen 
 hatters before," she said to herself : " the March 
 Hare will be much the moct interesting, and 
 perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad — 
 
PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 £H 
 
 Vv ~C v ^kg' 
 
 ""3 <r '^*Vr- 
 
 at least not so mad as it was in March." As 
 she said this, she looked up, and there was the 
 Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree. 
 
 " Did you say pig, or fig ? " said the Cat. 
 
 " I said pig," replied Alice ; " and I wish you 
 wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so sud- 
 denly : you make one quite giddy." 
 
 " All right," said the Cat ; and this time it 
 vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end 
 of the tail, and ending with the grin, which re- 
 mained some time after the rest of it had gone. 
 
 " Well ! I've often seen a cat without a grin," 
 
92 PIG AND PEPPER. 
 
 thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! 
 It's the most curious thing I ever saw in all my 
 life ! " 
 
 She had not gone much farther "before she 
 came in sight of the house of the March Hare ; 
 she thought it must be the ri^ht house, because 
 the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof 
 was thatched with fur. It was so larp-e a house, 
 that she did not like to go nearer till she had 
 nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mush- 
 room, and raised herself to about two feet high: 
 even then she walked up towards it rather 
 timidly, saying to herself, " Suppose it should be 
 raving mad after all ! I almost wish I'd gone to 
 see the Hatter instead ! " 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 There was a tabic set out under a tree in 
 front of the house, and the March Hare and the 
 Hatter were' having tea at it : a Dormouse was 
 sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other 
 two were using it as a cushion, resting their 
 elbows on it, and talking over its head. " Very 
 uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 
 " only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind." 
 
 The table was a large one, but the three were 
 all crowded together at one corner of it: "No 
 room ! No room ! " they cried out when they 
 
94 A MAD TEA-PAKTY. 
 
 saw Alice coming. " There's plenty of room ! " 
 said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a 
 large arm-chair at one end of the table. 
 
 " Have some wine," the March Hare said in 
 an encouraoinor tone. 
 
 Alice looked all round the table, but there was 
 nothing on it but tea. " I don't see any wine," 
 she remarked. 
 
 " The^e isn't any," said the March Hare. 
 
 " Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," 
 said Alice angrily. 
 
 " It wasn't very civil of you to sit clown with- 
 out beinsr invited," said the March Hare. 
 
 " I didn't know it was your table," said 
 Alice ; " it's laid for a great many more than 
 three." 
 
 " Your hair wants cutting," said the Hatter. 
 He had been looking at Alice for some time 
 with great curiosity, and this was his first 
 speech. 
 
 u You should learn not to make personal 
 remarks," Alice said with some severity : " it's 
 very rude." 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 The I latter opened his eyes very wide on hear- 
 ing this ; but all he said was, " Why is a raven 
 like a writing-desk ?'" 
 
 " Come, we shall have some fun now ! " 
 thought Alice. " I'm glad they've begun asking 
 riddles — I believe I can guess that," she added 
 aloud. 
 
 " Do you mean that you think you can find 
 out the answer to it ? " said the March Hare. 
 
9G A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 " Exactly so," said Alice. 
 
 " Then you should say what you mean," the 
 March Hare went on. 
 
 " I do," Alice hastily replied ; " at least — at 
 least I mean what I say — that's the same thing, 
 you know." 
 
 " Not the same thing: a bit ! " said the Hatter. 
 "Why, you might just as well say that ' I see 
 what I eat ' is the same thing as ' I eat what I 
 see ! 
 
 " You might just as well say," added the March 
 Hare, " that ' I like what I get ' is the same thing 
 as ' I get what I like ' ! " 
 
 " You might just as well say,' added the Dor- 
 mouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, 
 " that ' I breathe when I sleep ' is the same thing 
 as ' I sleep when I breathe ' ! " 
 
 " It is the same thing with you," said the 
 Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and 
 the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice 
 thought over all si could remember about ravens 
 and writing-desks, which wasn't much. 
 
 The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 97 
 
 " What day of the month is it? " he said, turn- 
 ins: to Alice: he had taken his watch out of 
 his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shak- 
 ing it every now and then, and holding it to his 
 ear. 
 
 Alice considered a little, and said, " The 
 fourth." 
 
 k Two clays wrong ! " sighed the Hatter. " I 
 told you butter wouldn't suit the works!" he 
 added, looking angrily at the March Hare. 
 
 '• It was the best butter," the March Hare 
 meekly replied. 
 
 " Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as 
 well," the Hatter grumbled : " you shouldn't have 
 put it in with the bread-knife." 
 
 The March Hare took the watch and looked 
 at it gloomily : then he dipped it into his cup of 
 tea, and looked at it again : but he could think 
 of nothing better to say than his first remark, " It 
 was the best butter, you know." 
 
 Alice had been looking over his shoulder with 
 some curiosity. " What a funny watch " she 
 
98 A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 remarked. " It tells the day of the month, and 
 doesn't tell what o'clock it is! " 
 
 u Why should it ? " muttered the Hatter. 
 " Does your watch tell you what year it is? " 
 
 " Of course not," Alice replied „very readily : 
 " but that's because it stays the same year for 
 such a long time together." 
 
 " Which is just the case with mine? said the 
 Hatter. 
 
 Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's re- 
 mark seemed to her to have no sort of meaning 
 in it, and yet it was certainly English. " I don't 
 quite understand you," she said, as politely as she 
 could. 
 
 " The Dormouse is asleep again," said the 
 Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea on to its 
 nose. 
 
 The Dormouse shook its Lead impatiently, 
 and said, without opening its eyes, " Of course, 
 of course : just what I was going to remark 
 myself." 
 
 " Have you guessed the riddle yet? " the Hatter 
 said, turning to Alice again. 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 00 
 
 " No, I give it up," Alice replied : " what's the 
 answer ? " 
 
 " I haven't the slightest idea," said the 
 Hatter. 
 
 " Nor I," said the March Hare. 
 
 Alice sighed wearily. " I think you might 
 do something better with the time," she said, 
 " than wasting it in asking; riddles that have no 
 answers." 
 
 " If you knew Time as well as I do," said the 
 Hatter, "you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's 
 him" 
 
 " I don't know what you mean," said Alice. 
 
 " Of course you don't ! " the Hatter said, tossing 
 his head contemptuously. " I dare say you never 
 even spoke to Time ! " 
 
 " Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied : " but 
 I know I have to beat time when I learn 
 music." 
 
 " Ah ! that accounts for it," said the Hatter. 
 " He won't stand beating. Now, if you only 
 kept on good terms witli him, he'd do almost \ 
 anything you liked with the clock. For in- \ 
 
 S 
 
100 A MAD TEA-PAKTY. 
 
 stance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morn- 
 ing, just time to begin lessons : you'd only have 
 to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 
 clock in a twinkling ! Half-past one, time for 
 dinner ! " 
 
 (" I only wish it was," the March Hare said to 
 itself in a whisper.) 
 
 " That would be grand, certainly," said Alice 
 thoughtfully : " but then — I shouldn't be hungry 
 for it, you know/' 
 
 lt Not at first, perhaps," said the Hatter : " but 
 you could keep it to half-past one as long as you 
 liked." 
 
 " Is that the way you manage ? " Alice 
 asked. 
 
 The Hatter shook his head mournfully. " Not 
 
 I " he replied. " We quarrelled last March 
 
 just before he went mad, you know " (point- 
 ing with his teaspoon at the March Hare,) " 
 
 it was at the great concert given by the Queen of 
 Hearts, and I had to sing." 
 
A MAD TEA-PAftTY, 
 
 101 
 
 1 Twinkle, twinkle^ little bat I 
 How I wonder what you re at! 1 
 
 You know the song perhaps ? " 
 
 " I've heard something like it," said Alice. 
 
 " It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued, 
 
 " in this way ■ — 
 
 ' Up above the world y 'ott 'fly, 
 Like a tea-tray in the sky. 
 
 Twinkle, twinkle- 
 
102 A MAD TEA PARTY. 
 
 Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began 
 singing in its sleep, " Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, 
 
 twinkle " and went on so long that they had 
 
 to pinch it to make it stop. 
 
 " Well, Td hardly finished the first verse," 
 said the Hatter, "when the Queen bawled out 
 1 He's murdering the time ! Off with his head !' " 
 
 " How dreadfully savage ! " exclaimed Alice. 
 
 " And ever since that," the Hatter went on in 
 a mournful tone, " he won't do a thing I ask i 
 It's always six o'clock now." 
 
 A bright idea came into Alice's head. " Is 
 that the reason so many tea-things are put out 
 here ? " she asked. 
 
 " Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with a sigh : 
 " it's always tea-time, and we've no time to wash 
 the things between whiles." 
 
 " Then you keep moving around, I suppose ? " 
 said Alice. 
 
 " Exactly so," said the Hatter : " as the things 
 get used up." 
 
 " But when you come to the beginning again ? " 
 Alice ventured to ask. 
 
A MAD TEA-PAKTY. 103 
 
 "Suppose we change the subject," the March 
 Hare interrupted, yawning. " I'm getting tired 
 of this. I vote the young lady tells us a 
 story." 
 
 " I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, 
 rather alarmed at the proposal. 
 
 " Then the Dormouse shall ! " they both cried. 
 
 " Wake up, Dormouse ! " And they pinched it 
 on both sides at once. 
 
 '■ The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. " I 
 wasn't asleep," he said in a hoarse, Teeble voice : 
 " I heard every word you fellows were saying." 
 
 " Tell us a story ! " said the March Hare. 
 
 " Yes, please do ! " pleaded Alice. 
 
 " And be quick about it," added the Hatter, 
 " or you'll be asleep again before it's done.'' 
 
 " Once upon a time there were three little 
 sisters," the Dormouse began in a great Lurry ; 
 "and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tiilie , 
 and they lived at the bottom of a well " 
 
 "What did they live on?" said Alice, who 
 always took a great interest in questions of eat- 
 ing and drinking. 
 
104 A MAD TEA PARTY. 
 
 " They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, 
 after thinking a minute or t»wo. 
 
 " They couldn't have done that, you know," 
 Alice gently remarked : " they'd have been ill." 
 
 " So they were," said the Dormouse; "very ill." 
 
 Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what 
 such an extraordinary way of living would be 
 like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went 
 on : " But why did they live at the bottom of a 
 well ? " 
 
 " Take some more tea," the March Hare said 
 to Alice, very earnestly. 
 
 " I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an 
 offended tone, " so I can't take more." 
 
 " You mean, you can't take /ess" said the 
 Hatter; "it's very easy to take more than 
 nothing." 
 
 " Nobody asked your opinion," said Alice. 
 
 " Who's making personal remarks now ? " the 
 Hatter asked triumphantly 
 
 Alice did not quite know what to say to this: 
 so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and- 
 butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 10£ 
 
 repeated her question. " Why did they live al 
 the bottom of a well ? " 
 
 The Dormouse again took a minute or twc 
 to think about it, and then said, " It was a treacle- 
 well." 
 
 "There's no such thing:!" Alice was beo-in- 
 ning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March 
 Hare went " Sh ! sh ! " and the Dormouse sulkily 
 remarked, " If you can't be civil, you'd better 
 finish the story for yourself." 
 
 " No, please go on ! " Alice said, very humbly: 
 " I won't interrupt you again. I dare say there 
 may be one" 
 
 " One, indeed ! " said the Dormouse indignant- 
 ly. However, he consented to go on. " And 
 so these three little sisters— they were learning 
 .to draw, you know " 
 
 " What did they draw ? " said Alice, quite for- 
 getting her promise. 
 
 " Treacle," said the Dormouse, without con- 
 sidering- at all this time. 
 
 " I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter: 
 " let's all move one place on." 
 
10G A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse 
 followed him : the March Hare moved into the 
 Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly 
 took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter 
 was the only one who got any advantage from 
 the change : and Alice was a good deal worse 
 off than before, as the March Hare had just up- 
 set the milk-jug into his plate. 
 
 Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse 
 again, so she began very cautiously: " But I 
 don't understand. Where did they draw the 
 treacle from ? " 
 
 " You can draw water out of a water-well," 
 said the Hatter ; "so I should think you could 
 draw treacle out of a treacle-well — eh, stupid ?" 
 
 " But they were in the well," Alice said to 
 the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last 
 remark. 
 
 " Of course they were," said the Dormouse, — 
 " well in." 
 
 This answer so confused poor Alice, that she 
 let the Dormouse <ro on for some time without 
 interrupting it. 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 1 I 
 
 " They were learning to draw," the Dormouse 
 went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it 
 was getting very sleepy ; " and they drew all 
 manner of things — everything that begins with 
 an M " 
 
 ' ; Why with an M ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Why not? " said the March Hare. 
 
 Alice was silent. 
 
 The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this 
 time, and was going off into a doze, but, on 
 being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again 
 
 with a little shriek, and went on : " that 
 
 begins with an M, such as mousetraps, and the 
 moon, and memory, and muchness- you know 
 you say things are ' much of a muchness ' — did 
 you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a 
 muchness ? " 
 
 '■ Really, now you ask me," said Alice, very 
 much confused, " I don't think " 
 
 " Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter. 
 
 This piece of rudeness was more than Alice 
 could bear : she got up in great disgust, and 
 walked off: the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, 
 
108 
 
 A MAD TEA-PARTY. 
 
 and neither of the others took the least notice 
 of her going, though she looked back once or 
 twice, half hoping that they would call after 
 her: the last time she saw them, they were 
 trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. 
 
 " At any rate I'll never go- there again ! " said 
 Alice as she picked her way through the wood. 
 
 " It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in 
 all my life ! " 
 
 Just as she said this, she noticed that one 
 of the trees had a door leading right into it. 
 
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 109 
 
 " That's very curious ! " she thought. " But 
 everything's curious to-day. I think I may as 
 well go in at once." And in she went. 
 
 Once more she found herself in the long hall, 
 and close to the little glass table. " Now, I'll 
 manage better this time," she said to herself, and 
 began by taking the little golden key, and 
 unlocking the door that led into the garden. 
 Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom 
 (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she 
 was about a foot high : then she walked down 
 the little passage : and then — she found herself 
 at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright 
 flower-beds and the cool fountains. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE QUEEN'S CROQUET GROUND. 
 
 A large, rose-tree stood near the entrance ot 
 the garden : the roses growing on it were white, 
 but there were three gardeners at it, busily paint- 
 ing them red. Alice thought this a very curious 
 thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and 
 just as she came up to them she heard one of 
 them say, " Look out now, Five ! Don't go 
 splashing paint over me like that ! " 
 
 " I couldn't help it," said Five in a sulky tone; 
 " Seven jogged my elbow." 
 
THE QUEEN'S CROQUET GROUND. 
 
 Ill 
 
 On which Seven looked up and said, " That's 
 right, Five ! Always lay the blame on others ! " 
 
 " Youd better not talk! " said Five. " I heard 
 the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be 
 beheaded ! " 
 
 " What for ? " 
 said the one who 
 had spoken first. 
 
 " That's none 
 of your business, 
 Two!" said Seven. 
 
 " Yes, it is his 
 business ! " said 
 Five, " and I'll 
 tell him — it was 
 for bringing the 
 cook tulip-roots 
 instead of onions." 
 
 Seven flunsr 
 down his brush, and had ust begun, " Well, of 
 all the unjust things — " when his eye chanced to 
 fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, 
 and he checked himself suddenly : the others 
 
 <e&&£i 
 
 WPmyr 
 
112 . THE QUEEN'S 
 
 looked round also, and all of them bowed 
 low. 
 
 " Would you tell me, please," said Alice, 
 a little timidly, " why you are painting those 
 roses ? " 
 
 Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at 
 Two. Two began, in a low voice, " Why, the 
 fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have 
 been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one 
 in by mistake, and if the Queen was to find it 
 out, we should all have our heads cut off, you 
 know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, 
 afore she comes, to — " At this moment Five, 
 who had been anxiously looking: across the sfar- 
 den, called out '' The Queen ! The Queen ! " and 
 the three gardeners instantly threw themselves 
 flat upon their faces, There was a sound of 
 many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to 
 see the Queen. 
 
 First came ten soldiers carrying clubs ; these 
 were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong 
 and flat, with their hands and feet at the cor- 
 ners : next the ten courtiers ; these were orna- 
 
CROQUET-GROUND, 113 
 
 merited all over with diamonds, and walked two 
 and two, as the soldiers did. After these came 
 the royal children ; there were ten of them, 
 and the little dears came jumping merrily along 
 hand in hand, in couples: they were all orna- 
 mented with hearts, Next came the guests, 
 mostly Kings and Queens, and among them 
 Alice recognized the White Rabbit": it was talk- 
 ing in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at 
 everything that was said, and went by without 
 noticing her. Then followed the Knave of 
 Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson 
 velvet cushion ; and, last of all t*nis grand pro- 
 cession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF 
 HEARTS. 
 
 Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought 
 not to lie down on her face like the three 
 gardeners, but she could not remember ever 
 having heard of such a rule at processions ; " and 
 besides, what would be the use of a procession," 
 she thought, " if people had all to lie down on 
 their faces, so that they couldn't see it ? " So she 
 stood where she was, and waited. 
 
114 THE QUEERS 
 
 When the procession came opposite to Alice, 
 they all stopped and looked at her, and the 
 Queen said severely, " Who is this ? " She said 
 it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and 
 smiled in reply. 
 
 " Idiot ! " said the Queen, tossing her head 
 impatiently ; and, turning to Alice, she went on, 
 " What's your name, child ? " 
 
 " My name is Alice, so please your Majesty," 
 said Alice very politely ; but she added, to 
 herself, " Why, they're only a pack of cards, 
 after all. I needn't be afraid of them ! " 
 
 "And who are these? " said the Queen, point- 
 ing to the three gardeners who were lying 
 round the rose-tree ; for you see, as they were 
 lying on their faces, and the pattern on their 
 backs was the same as the rest of the pack, 
 she could not tell whether they were gardeners, 
 or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own 
 children. 
 
 '• How should 1 know ? " said Alice, surprised 
 at her own courage. " It's no business of miner 
 
 The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, 
 
C ROQUET-G ROTJ N D . 
 
 115 
 
 after s^arin^ at her for a moment like a wild 
 beast, began screaming, " Off with her head ! 
 Off—" 
 
116 THE QUEEN'S. 
 
 " Nonsense ! " said Alice, very loudly and de- 
 cidedly, and the Queen was silent. 
 
 The king laid his hand upon her arm, and 
 timidly said, " Consider, my dear : she is only a 
 child ! " 
 
 The Queen turned angrily away from him, and 
 said to the Knave, " Turn them over ! " 
 
 The Knave did so, very carefully, with one 
 foot. 
 
 " Get up ! " said the Queen in a shrill, loud 
 voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped 
 up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, 
 the royal children, and everybody else. 
 
 11 Leave off that ! " screamed the Queen. " You 
 make me giddy." And then, turning to the 
 rose-tree, she went on, " What have you been 
 doing here ? " 
 
 " May it please your Majesty," said Two, in a 
 very humble tone, going down on one knee as he 
 spoke, " we were trying — " 
 
 "/see!" said the Queen, who had mean- 
 while been examining the roses. " Off with 
 their heads ! " and the procession moved on, 
 
CROQUET-GROUND. 117 
 
 three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute 
 the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for 
 protection. 
 
 " You shan't be beheaded ! " said Alice, and 
 she put them into a large flower-pot that stood 
 near. The three soldiers wandered about for a 
 minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly 
 marched off after the others. 
 
 " Are their heads off ? " shouted the Queen. 
 
 " Their heads are gone, if it please your 
 Majesty!" the soldiers shouted in reply. 
 
 " That's right ! " shouted the Queen. " Can 
 you play croquet ? " 
 
 The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, 
 as the question was evidently meant for her. 
 
 " Yes ! " shouted Alice. 
 
 " Come on then ! " roared the Queen, and 
 Alice joined the procession, wondering very much 
 what would happen next. 
 
 " It's — it's a very fine day ! " said a timid 
 voice at her side. She was walking by the White 
 Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her 
 face. 
 
118 ' THE QUEEN'S 
 
 " Very," said Alice : — " where's the Duchess ? " 
 
 " Hush ! Hush ! " said the Rabbit in a low, 
 hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his 
 shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself 
 upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and 
 whispered, " She's under sentence of execution." 
 
 " What for ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Did you say « What a pity ! ' ? " the Rabbit 
 asked. 
 
 " No, I didn't," said Alice : " I don't think it's 
 at all a pity. I said ' What for ? ' " 
 
 " She boxed the Queen's ears — " the Rabbit 
 began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. 
 " Oh, hush ! " the Rabbit whispered in a frightened 
 tone. " The Queen will hear you ! You see she 
 came rather late, and the Queen said — " 
 
 " Get to your places! " shouted the Queen in 
 a voice of thunder, and the people began running 
 about in all directions, umbling up against each 
 other : however, they got settled down in a min- 
 ute or two, and the game began. 
 
 Alice thought she had never seen such a 
 curious croquet-ground in her life : it was all 
 
CROQUET-GROUND. 
 
 119 
 
 ridges and furrows ; the croquet-balls were like 
 
 hedgehogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and 
 
 the soldiers had to 
 
 double themselves up 
 
 and stand on their 
 
 hands and feet, to 
 
 make the arches. 
 
 The chief diffi- 
 culty Alice found at 
 first was in managing 
 her flamingo : she 
 succeeded in getting Jip|^|S; 
 its body tucked away, 
 comfortably enough, ^ste^fS: 
 under her arm, with 
 its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she 
 had got its neck nicely straightened out, and 
 was going to give the hedgehog a blow with 
 its head, it would twist itself round and look 
 up into her face, with such a puzzled expression 
 that she could not help bursting out laughing : 
 and when she had got its head down, and was 
 going to begin again, it was very provoking to 
 
120 THE QUEEN'S 
 
 find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and 
 was in the act of crawling away : besides all this, 
 there was generally a ridge or a furrow in the 
 way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog 
 to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always 
 getting up and walking off to other parts of the 
 ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that 
 it was a very difficult game indeed. 
 
 The players all played at once without wait- 
 ing for turns, quarrelling all the while, and 
 fighting for the hedgehogs ; and in a very short 
 time the Queen was in a furious passion, and 
 went stamping about, and shouting, " Off with 
 his head ! " or " Off with her head ! " about once 
 in a minute. 
 
 Alice began to feel very uneasy : to be sure, 
 she had not as yet had any dispute with the 
 Queen, but she knew that it might happen any 
 minute, " and then," thought she, " what would 
 become of me ? They're dreadfully fond of be- 
 heading people here : the great wonder is, that 
 there's any one left alive ! " 
 
 She was locking about for some way of escape, 
 
CUOQUET-GItOUND. 121 
 
 and wondering whether she could get away with- 
 out being seen, when she noticed a curious 
 appearance in the air : it puzzled her very much 
 at first, but after watching it a minute or two 
 she made it out to be a grin, and she said to her- 
 self, " It's the Cheshire Cat : now I shall have 
 somebody to talk to." 
 
 " How are you getting on ? " said the Cat, as 
 soon as there was mouth enough for it to speak 
 with. 
 
 Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then 
 nodded. " It's no use speaking to it," she 
 thought, " till its ears have come, or at least 
 one of them." In another minute the whole 
 head appeared, and then Alice put down her 
 flamingo, and began an account of the game, 
 feeling very glad she had some one to listen to 
 her. The Cat seemed to think that there was 
 enough of it now in sight, and no more of it 
 appeared. 
 
 " I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice 
 began, in rather a complaining tone, " and they 
 all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear one's-self 
 
122 THE QUEEN'S 
 
 speak — and they don't seem to have any rules 
 in particular ; at least, if there are, nobody at- 
 tends to them — and you've no idea how confus- 
 ing it is all the things being alive ; for instance, 
 there's the arch I've o^ot to go through next walk- 
 ing about at the other end of the ground — and I 
 should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog 
 just now, only it ran away when it saw mine 
 coming ! " 
 
 " How do you like the Queen ? " said the Cat 
 in a low voice. 
 
 " Not at all," said Alice : " she's so ex- 
 tremely — " Just then she noticed that the 
 Queen was close behind her, listening : so she 
 went on " — likely to win, that it's hardly worth 
 while finishing the game." 
 
 The Queen smiled and passed on. 
 
 " Who are you talking to ? " said the King, 
 coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's 
 head with great curiosity. 
 
 " It's a friend of mine — a Cheshire Cat," said 
 Alice : " allow me to introduce it." 
 
 " I don't like the look of it at all," said the 
 
CROQUET GROUND. 1£3 
 
 King : " however, it may kiss my hand if it 
 likes." 
 
 " I'd rather not," the Cat remarked. 
 
 "Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and 
 don't look at me like that ! " He got behind 
 Alice as he spoke. 
 
 "A cat may look at a king," said Alice* " I've 
 read that in some book, but I don't remember 
 where." 
 
 " Well, it must be removed," said the King 
 very decidedly, and he called to the Queen, who 
 was passing at the moment, " My dear ! I wish 
 you would have this cat removed ! " 
 
 The Queen had only one way of settling all 
 difficulties, great or small. " Off with his head ! " 
 she said without even looking round. 
 
 " I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the 
 King eagerly, and he hurried off. 
 
 Alice thought she might as well go back and 
 see how the game was going on, as she heard 
 the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming 
 with passion. She had already heard her sen- 
 tence three of the players to be executed for 
 
124 THE queen's 
 
 having missed their turns, and she did not like 
 the look of things at all, as the game was in 
 such confusion that she never knew whether it 
 was her turn or not. So she went off in search 
 of her hedsrehosf. 
 
 The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with 
 another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an 
 excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them 
 with the other : the only difficulty was, that 
 her flamingo was gone across to the other side 
 of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in 
 a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree. 
 
 By .the time she had caught the flamingo and 
 brought it back, the fight was over, and both 
 the hedgehogs were out of sight : " but it doesn't 
 matter much," thought Alice, " as all the arches 
 are gone from this side of the ground." So she 
 tucked it away under her arm, that it might not 
 escape again, and went back to have a little 
 more conversation with her friend. 
 
 When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she 
 was surprised to find quite a large crowd col- 
 lected round it : there was a dispute going on 
 
CUOQUKT GROUND. 
 
 125 
 
 between the executioner, the King, and the 
 Queen, who were all talking at once, while all 
 the rest were quite silent, and looked very 
 uncomfortable. 
 
 The moment Alice appeared, she was ap- 
 pealed to by all three to settle the question, 
 
126 THE QUEEN'S" 
 
 and they repeated their arguments to her, 
 though, as they all spoke at once, she found it 
 very hard to make out exactly what they said. 
 
 The executioner's argument was, that you 
 couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body 
 to cut it off from : that he had never had to do 
 such a thing before, and he wasn't going to 
 begin at his time of life. 
 
 The King's argument was, that anything that 
 had a head could be beheaded, and that you 
 weren't to talk nonsense. 
 
 The Queen's argument was, that if something 
 wasn't done about it in less than no time, she'd 
 have everybody executed, all round. (It was this 
 last remark that had made the whole party look 
 so grave and anxious.) 
 
 Alice could think of nothing else to say but 
 " It belongs to the Duchess : you'd better ask 
 
 her about it." 
 
 " She's in prison," the Queen said to the exe- 
 cutioner : " fetch her here." And the execu- 
 tioner went off like an arrow. 
 
 The Cat's head began fading away the mo- 
 
CROQUET GROUND. 127 
 
 ment he was gone, and, by the time he had come 
 back with the Duchess, it had entirely disap- 
 peared : so the King and the executioner ran 
 wildly up and down looking for it, while the 
 rest of the party went back to the game. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 " You can't think how glad I am to see you 
 again, you dear old thing ! " said the Duchess, 
 as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's 
 and they walked off together. 
 
 Alice was very glad to find her in such a 
 pleasant temper, and thought to herself that 
 perhaps it was only the pepper that had made 
 her so savage when they met in the kitchen. 
 " When Fm a Duchess," she said to herself, (not 
 m a very hopeful tone though,) " I won't have 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 129 
 
 any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does 
 very well without — Maybe it's always pepper 
 that makes people hot-tempered," she went on, 
 very much pleased at having found out a new 
 kind of rule, " and vinegar that makes them sour 
 — and camomile that makes them bitter — and — 
 and barley-sugar and such tilings that make chil- 
 dren sweet-tc .nperecl. I only wish people knew 
 that: then the\ wouldn't be so stingy about it, 
 you know — " 
 
 She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this 
 time, and was a little startled when she heard 
 her voice close to her ear. "You're thinking 
 about something, my dear, and that makes you 
 forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what 
 the moral of that is, but I shall remember it hi a 
 bit." 
 
 " Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to re- 
 mark. 
 
 " Tut, tut, child ! " said the Duchess. " Every- 
 thing's got a moral, if only you can find it." 
 And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's 
 side as she spoke. 
 
180 
 
 THE MOCK TURTLES STORY. 
 
 Alice did not much like her keeping so close 
 to her: first, because the Duchess was very 
 ugly, and secondly, because she was exactly the 
 
 ri^ht heio-ht to 
 rest her chin on 
 Alice's shoulder, 
 and it was an 
 uncomfortably 
 sharp chin. How- 
 ever, she did not 
 like to be rude, so 
 she bore it as well 
 as she could. 
 
 " The game's 
 
 iogng on rather 
 
 better now, sJie 
 
 said by way of 
 
 keeping up the 
 
 conversation a little. 
 
 'Tis so," said the Duchess: "and the moral 
 of that is— < Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes 
 the world go round ! ' " 
 
 " Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 131 
 
 done by everybody minding their own bus- 
 mess ! 
 
 " Ah, well ! It means much the same thing," 
 said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin 
 into Alice's shoulder as she added, " and the 
 moral of that is — ' Take care of the sense, and 
 the sounds will take care of themselves.' " 
 
 " How fond she is of finding morals in things ! 
 Alice thought to herself. 
 
 " I daresay you're wondering why I don't put 
 my arm round your waist," said the Duchess 
 after a pause : " the reason is, that I'm doubtful 
 about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try 
 the experiment ? " 
 
 " He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, not 
 feeling at all anxious to have the experiment 
 tried. 
 
 " Very true," said the Duchess : flamingoes 
 and mustard both bite. And the moral of that 
 is--— ' Birds of a feather flock together.' " 
 
 " Only mustard isn't a bird." Alice remarked. 
 
 ' ; Right, as usual," said the Duchess : " what 
 a clear way you have of putting things! " 
 
132 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 " It's a mineral, I think? said Alice. 
 
 " Of course it is," said the Duchess, who 
 seemed ready to agree to everything that Alice 
 said ; " there's a large mustard-mine near here. 
 And the moral of that is — ' The more there is of 
 mine, the less there is of yours.' " 
 
 " h, I know ! " exclaimed Alice, who had not 
 attended to this last remark, " it's a vegetable. It 
 doesn't look like one, but it is." 
 
 " I quite agree with you," said the Duchess, 
 " and the moral of that is — ' Be what you would 
 seem to be' — 'or if you like it put more 
 simply — ' Never imagine yourself not to be 
 otherwise than what it might appear to others 
 that what you were or might have been was 
 not otherwise than what you had been would 
 have appeared to them to be otherwise. " 
 
 " I think I should understand that better," 
 Alice said very politely, " if I had it written 
 down: but I can't quite follow it as you say 
 it." 
 
 " That's nothing to what I could say if I 
 chose," the Duchess replied in a pleased tone. 
 
THE MUCK TURTLE'S STORY. 133 
 
 " Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any 
 longer than that," said Alice. 
 
 Oh, don't talk about trouble!" said the 
 Duchess. "I make you a present of everything 
 I've said as yet." 
 
 " A cheap sort of present ! " thought Alice. 
 " I'm glad they don't give birthday presents 
 like that ! ' But she did not venture to say it 
 out loud. 
 
 " Thinking again ? " the Duchess asked, with 
 another dig of her sharp little chin. 
 
 "I've a right to think," said Alice sharply, for 
 she was beginning to feel a little worried. 
 
 " lust about as much riq;ht," said the Duchess, 
 " as pigs have to ny : and the m — " 
 
 But here, to Alice's great surprise, the 
 Duchess' voice died away, even in the middle 
 of her favorite word ' moral,' and the arm 
 that was linked into hers began to tremble. 
 Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in 
 front of them, with her arms folded, frowning 
 like a thunderstorm. 
 
134 THE MOCK TURTLES STOIIY. 
 
 " A fine day, your Majesty ! ' : the Duchess 
 began in a low, weak voice. 
 
 '' Now, I give you fair warning," shouted the 
 Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke ; 
 " either you or your head must be off, and that 
 in about half no time! Take your choice! " 
 
 The Duchess took her choice, and was gone 
 in a moment. 
 
 " Lets gro on with the orame," the Oueen said 
 to Alice, and Alice was too much .frightened to 
 say a word, but slowly followed her back to the 
 croquet-ground 
 
 The other guests had taken advantage of the 
 Queen's absence, and were resting in the shade : 
 however the moment they saw her, thev hurried 
 back to the game, the Queen merely remark- 
 ing that a moment's delay would cost them their 
 lives. 
 
 All the time they were playing the Queen 
 never left off quarrelling with the other players, 
 and shouting 'Off with his head!" or "Off 
 with her head ! ; Those whom she sentenced 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 135 
 
 were taken into custody by the soldiers, who of 
 course had to leave off being arches to do this, 
 so that by the end of half an hour or so there 
 were no arches left, and all the players, except 
 the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody, 
 and under sentence of execution. 
 
 Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, 
 and said to Alice, " Have you seen the Mock 
 Turtle yet ? " 
 
 " No," said Alice. " I don't even know what 
 a Mock Turtle is." 
 
 " It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made 
 from," said the Queen. 
 
 " I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice. 
 
 " Come on, then," said the Queen, " and he 
 shall tell you his history." 
 
 As they walked off together, Alice heard the 
 King say in a low voice, to the company gener- 
 ally, " You are all pardoned-" " Come, that's a 
 good thing ! " she said to herself, for she had 
 felt quite unhappy ?.t the number HE executions 
 the Queen had ordered. 
 
136 
 
 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying 
 fast asleep in the sun. (If you don't know what 
 a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) " Up, lazy 
 thing! "said the Queen," and take this young 
 lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his 
 history. I miut go back and see after some 
 executions I have ordered ; " and she walked off, 
 leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice 
 did not quite like the look of the creature, but 
 on the whole she thought it would be quite as 
 
THE -MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 137 
 
 safe to stay with it as to go after that savage 
 Queen : so she waited. 
 
 The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes : 
 then it watched the Queen till she was out of 
 sight : then it chuckled. " What fun ! " said the 
 Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. 
 
 " What is the fun ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Why, she" said the Gryphon. "It's ah her 
 fancy, that : they never executes nobody, you 
 know. Come on ! " 
 
 K Everybody says c come on ! ' here," thought 
 Alice, as she went slowly after it ; "I never was 
 so ordered about before in all my life, never! " 
 
 They had not gone far before they saw the 
 Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and 
 lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they 
 came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as 
 if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. 
 " What is his sorrow?" she asked the Gryphon, 
 and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the 
 same words as before, " It's all his fancy, that: 
 he hasn't got no s orrow, you know. Come on ! " 
 
 So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who 
 
138 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but 
 said nothing. 
 
 " This here young lady," said the Gryphon, 
 " she wants for to know your history, she do." 
 
 " I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in a 
 deep, hollow tone : " sit down both of you, and 
 don't speak a word till I've finished." 
 
 So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some 
 minutes. Alice thought to herself, " I don't see 
 how he can ever finish, if he doesn't begin." 
 But she waited patiently. 
 
 " Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a 
 deep sigh, " I was a real Turtle." 
 
 These words were followed by a very long 
 silence, broken only by an occasional exclama- 
 tion of " Hjckrrh ! " from the Gryphon, and the 
 constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. 
 Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, 
 " Thank you, sir, for your interesting story," 
 but she could not help thinking there must be 
 more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. 
 
 " When we were little," the Mock Turtle went 
 on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a 
 
THE MOCK TUUTLE'S r'TOHY. 
 
 139 
 
 little now and then, " we went to school in the 
 sea. The master was an old Turtle— we used 
 to call him Tortoise — " 
 
140 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 " Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't 
 one ? " Alice asked. 
 
 " We called him Tortoise because he taught 
 us," said the Mock Turtle angrily ; " really you 
 are very dull ! " 
 
 " You ought to be ashamed of yourself for 
 asking such a simple question," added the 
 Gryphon ; and then they both sat silent and 
 looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink 
 into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the 
 Mock Turtle, " Drive on, old fellow! Don't be 
 all day about it ! " and he went on in these words. 
 
 " Yes, we went to school in the sea, though 
 you mayn't believe it — " 
 
 " I never said I didn't!" interrupted Alice. 
 
 M You did," said the Mock Turtle. 
 
 " Hold your tongue ! " added the Gryphon, 
 before Alice could speak again. The Mock 
 Turtle went on. 
 
 " We had the best of educations — in fact, we 
 went to school every day — " 
 
 Tve been to a day-school too," said Alice ; 
 "you needn't be so proud as all that." 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 141 
 
 " With extras ? " asked the Mock Turtle a 
 little anxiously. 
 
 " Yes," said Alice, " we learned French and 
 music." 
 
 " And washing ? " said the Mock Turtle. 
 
 " Certainly not ! " said Alice indignantly. 
 
 " Ah ! Then yours wasn't a really good school," 
 said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. 
 " Now at ours they had at the end of the bill, 
 ' French, music, and washing — extra.' ' 
 
 " You couldn't have wanted it much," said 
 Alice ; " living at the bottom of the sea." 
 
 " I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock 
 Turtle with a sigh. " I only took the regular 
 course." 
 
 "What was that ? " inquired Alice. 
 
 " Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin 
 with," the Mock Turtle replied : " and then the 
 different branches of Arithmetic — Ambition, Dis- 
 traction, Uglification, and Derision." 
 
 " I never heard of ' Uglification.' " Alice ven- 
 tured to say. " What is it ? " 
 
 The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in sur- 
 
142 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 prise. " Never heard of Uglifying ! " it exclaimed. 
 " You know what to beautify is, I suppose ? " 
 
 " Yes," said .Alice, doubtfully : " it means — 
 to — make — anything — prettier." 
 
 "Well then," the Gryphon went on, "if you 
 don't know what to uglify is, you arc a 
 simpleton." 
 
 Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any 
 more questions about it, so she turned to the 
 Mock Turtle, and said, " What else had you to 
 learn ? " 
 
 " Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle 
 replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers,- - 
 " Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography : 
 then Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old 
 conger-eel, that used to come once a week : he 
 taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in 
 Coils." 
 
 " What was that like ? " said Alice. 
 
 " Well, I can't show it you, myself," the Mock 
 Turtle said : " I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon 
 never learnt it." 
 
 " Hadn't time," said the Gryphon : " I went 
 
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 143 
 
 to the Classical master, though. He was an old 
 crab, he was.'' 
 
 " I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said 
 with a sigh : " he taught Laughing and Grief, 
 they used to say." 
 
 '• So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, 
 sighing in his turn, and both creatures hid their 
 faces in their paws. 
 
 " And now many hours a day did you do 
 lessons?" said Alice, in a hurry to change the 
 subject. 
 
 " Ten hours the first day," said the Mock 
 Turtle: " nine the next, and so on." 
 
 " What a curious plan ! " exclaimed Alice. 
 
 " That's the reason they're called lessons," 
 the Gryphon remarked : " because they lessen 
 from day to day." 
 
 Tii is was quite a new idea to Alice, and she 
 thought it over a little before she made her next 
 remark. " Then the eleventh day must have 
 been a holiday ? " 
 
 " Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle. 
 
144 THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY. 
 
 " And how did you manage on the twelfth?" 
 Alice went on eagerly. 
 
 " That's enough about lessons," the Gryphort 
 interrupted in a very decided tone : " tell her 
 something about the games now." 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 
 
 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew 
 the back of one flapper across his eyes. He 
 looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a 
 minute or two sobs choked his voice. " Same 
 as if he had a bone in his throat, ' said the 
 Gryphon, and it set to work shaking him and 
 punching him in the back. At last the Mock 
 Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears run- 
 ning down his cheeks, he went on again : — 
 
 " You may not have lived much under the 
 sea — " (" I haven't," said Alice) — " and perhaps 
 
146 THE LOBSTER 
 
 you were never even introduced to a lobster — " 
 (Alice began to say " I once tasted — " but 
 checked herself hastily, and said, " No, never ") — 
 " so you can have no idea what a delightful thing 
 a Lobster-Quadrille is ! " 
 
 " No, indeed," said Alice. " What sort of a 
 dance is it ? " 
 
 11 Why," said the Gryphon, " you first form 
 into a line along the seashore — " 
 
 " Two lines ! " cried the Mock Turtle. " Seals, 
 turtles, salmon, and so on : then, when you've 
 cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way — " 
 
 " That generally takes some time," interrupted 
 the Gryphon. 
 
 " — you advance twice — " 
 
 " Each with a lobster as a partner ! " cried the 
 Gryphon. 
 
 " Of course," the Mock Turtle said: " advance 
 twice, set to partners — " 
 
 " — change lobsters, and retire in same order," 
 continued the Gryphon. 
 
 "Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, 
 
 you throw the — " 
 
QUADRILLE. 147 
 
 The lobsters ! " shouted the Gryphon, with n 
 bound into the air. 
 
 " — as far out to sea as you can — " 
 
 " Swim after them ! " screamed the Gryphon. 
 
 " Turn a somersault in the sea ! " cried the 
 Mock Turtle, capering wildly about. 
 
 " Change lobsters again ! " yelled the Gryphon 
 at the top of its voice. 
 
 " Back to land again, and — that's all the first 
 figure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping 
 his voice, and the two creatures, who had been 
 jumping about like mad things all this time, sat 
 down again very sadly and quietly, and looked 
 at Alice. 
 
 " It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice 
 timidly. 
 
 " Would you like to see a little of it ? " said 
 the Mock Turtle. 
 
 " Very much indeed," said Alice. 
 
 " Come, let's try the first figure ! " said the 
 Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. " We can do 
 it without lobsters, you know. Which shall 
 sing?" 
 
148 
 
 THE LOBSTER. 
 
 " Oh, you sing," said the Gryphon. " I've 
 forgotten the words." 
 
 So they began solemnly dancing round and 
 round Alice, every now and then treading on 
 her toes when they passed too close, and waving 
 their fore-paws to mark the time, while the 
 Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly : — 
 
QUADRILLE. 149 
 
 " Will you walk a little faster ! " said a whiting 
 to a snail, 
 
 li There s a porpoise elose behind us, and lies tread- 
 ing on my tail. 
 
 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all 
 advance ! 
 
 They are waiting on the shingle — will you come 
 and join the dance ? 
 Will you, won't you, will you, wont you, will 
 
 you join the dance ? 
 Will vou, worit you, will you, wont you, wont 
 you join the dance ? 
 
 " You can really have no notion how delightful it 
 
 will be 
 When they take us tip and throw us, with the 
 
 lobsters, out to sea I " 
 But the snail replied " Too far, too far ! " and 
 
 gave a look askance — 
 Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would 
 
 not join the dance. 
 Would not, could not, would not, could not, 
 
 would not join the dance. 
 Would not, could not, would not, could not, 
 
 could not join the dance. 
 
150 THE LOBSTER 
 
 " What matters it lioiu far we go ? " his seedy 
 
 friend replied, 
 " There is another shore, yoti know, upon the other 
 
 side. 
 The further off from England the nearer is to 
 
 France; , 
 Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but conic and 
 
 join the dance. 
 Will you, won t you, will you, won t you, will 
 
 you join the dance ? 
 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, zvont 
 
 you join the dance ? " 
 
 " Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to 
 watch," said Alice, feeling very glad that it was 
 over at last ; " and I do so like that curious song 
 about the whiting ! " 
 
 " Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock 
 Turtle, " they — you've seen them, of course ? " 
 
 " Yes," said Alice, " I've often seen them at 
 dinn — " she checked herself hastily. 
 
 " I don't know where Dinn may be," said the 
 Mock Turtle, " but if you've seen them so often. 
 of course you know what they're like." 
 
 " I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. 
 
QUADRILLE. 151 
 
 "They have their tails in their mouths; — and 
 they're all over crumbs." 
 
 " You're wrong about the crumbs," saia the 
 Mock Turtle : " crumbs would all wash off in 
 the sea. But they have their tails in their 
 mouths ; and th i reason is — " here the Mock 
 Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. — " Tell her 
 about the reason and all that," he said to the 
 Gryphon. 
 
 " The reason is," said the Gryphon, " that 
 they would go with the lobsters to the dance. 
 So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to 
 fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in 
 their mouths. So they couldn't get them out 
 as;ain. That's all." 
 
 " Thank you," said Alice, u it's very interest- 
 ins;. I never knew so much about a whiting 
 before." 
 
 " I can tell you more than that, if you like," 
 said the Gryphon. " Do you know why it's 
 called a whiting ? " 
 
 " I never thought about it," said Alice, 
 "Whv?" 
 
152 THE LOBSTER 
 
 " // does the boots and shoes," the Gryphon 
 replied very solemnly. 
 
 Alice was thoroughly puzzled. " Does the 
 boots and shoes ! " she repeated in a wonder- 
 in <r tone. 
 
 " Why, what are your shoes done with ? " 
 said the Gryphon. " I mean, what makes them 
 so shiny ? " 
 
 Alice looked down at them, and considered a 
 little before she gave her answer. " They're 
 done with blacking I believe." 
 
 " Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon 
 went on in a deep voice, " are done with whiting. 
 Now you know." 
 
 " And what are they made of?" Alice asked 
 in a tone of great curiosity. 
 
 " Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon re 
 plied rather impatiently : " any shrimp could 
 have told you that." 
 
 " If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose 
 thoughts were still running on the song, "I'd 
 have said to the porpoise, 'Keep back, please; 
 we eh ,i't want you with us 'J " 
 
QUADRILLE. 153 
 
 They were obliged to have him with them," 
 the Mock Turtle said : " no wise fish would 2:0 
 anywhere without a porpoise." 
 
 " Wouldn't it really ? " said Alice in a tone of 
 great surprise. 
 
 " Of course not," said the Mock Turtle : 
 " why, if a fish came to me, and told me he 
 was going a journey, I should, say ' With what 
 porpoise ? ' 
 
 " Don't you mean ' purpose ' ? " said Alice* 
 
 " I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle re- 
 plied in an offended tone. And the Gryphon 
 added " Come, let's hear some of your adven- 
 tures." 
 
 " I could tell you my adventures — beginning 
 from this morning," said Alice a little timidly: 
 " but it's no use going back to yesterday, because 
 I was a different person then." 
 
 " Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle. 
 
 " No. no ! the adventures first," said the 
 Gryphon in an impatient tone: "explanations 
 * take such a dreadful time." 
 
154 THE LOBSTER 
 
 So Alice began telling them her adventures 
 from the time when she first saw the White 
 Rabbit : she was a little nervous about it just at 
 first, the two creatures got so close to her, one 
 on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths 
 so very wide, but she gained courage as she 
 went on. Her listeners were perfectly puiet till 
 she- got to the part about her repeating " You are 
 old, Father William" to the Caterpillar, and the 
 words all coming different, and then the Mock 
 Turtle drew a long breath, and said, " That's 
 very curious." 
 
 " It's all about as curious as it can be, " said 
 the Gryphon. 
 
 " It all came different ! " the Mock Turtle 
 repeated thoughtfully. " I should like to hear 
 her try and repeat something now. Tell her 
 to begin." He looked at the Gryphon as if he 
 thought it had some kind of authority over 
 Alice. 
 
 "Stand up and repeat '' 'Tzs the voice of the 
 sluggard* " said the Gryphon. 
 
QUADRILLE. 
 
 155 
 
 " How the creatures 
 order one about, and 
 make one repeat les- 
 sons !" thought Alice. 
 " I might just as well 
 be at school at once." 
 However, she got up 
 and began to repeat I 
 it, but her head was 
 so full of the Lob- 
 ster-Quadrille, that 
 she hardly knew 
 what she was saying, 
 and the words came 
 very queer indeed : — 
 
 "'Tis the voice of the lobster ; I heard him declare, 
 1 You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my 
 
 hair.' 
 As a duck with his eyelids, so he with his nose 
 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his 
 foes," 
 
156 THE LOBSTER 
 
 " That's different from what / used to say 
 when I was a child," said the Gryphon. 
 
 " Well, I never heard it before," said the 
 Mock Turtle ; " but it sounds uncommon non- 
 sense." 
 
 Alice said nothing: : she had sat down ao:ain 
 with her face in her hands, wondering if any- 
 thing would ever happen in a natural way 
 again. 
 
 " I should like to have it explained," said the 
 Mock Turtle. 
 
 " She can't explain it," said the Gryphon 
 hastily. " Go on with the next verse." 
 
 " But about his toes ? " the Mock Turtle per- 
 sisted. " How could he turn them out with his 
 nose, you know ? " 
 
 " It's the first position in dancing," Alice said ; 
 but she was dreadfully puzzled by the whole 
 thing, and longed to change the subject. 
 
 " Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon re- 
 peated impatiently : " it begins ' I passed by his 
 garden! " 
 
 Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt 
 
QUADKILLE. 157 
 
 sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in 
 a tremblino- voice ; — 
 
 " I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 
 How the owi and the oyster were sharing the 
 pie — 
 
 " What is the use of repeating all that stuff," 
 the Mock Turtle interrupted, " if you don't ex- 
 plain it as you go on ? It's by far the most con- 
 fusing thino- /ever heard ! " 
 
 " Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the 
 Gryphon, and Alice was only too glad to do 
 so. 
 
 " Shall we try another figure of the Lobster- 
 Quadrille ? " the Gryphon went on. " Or would 
 you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song ? " 
 
 " Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would 
 be so kind," Alice replied so eagerly that the 
 Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, " Hm ! 
 No accounting for tastes ! Sing her ' Turtle 
 Soupl will you, old fellow? " 
 
 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in 
 a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this : 
 
158 THE LOBSTER 
 
 " Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, 
 Waiting in a Jiot tureen ! 
 Who for such dainties would not stoop? 
 Soup of the evening, beautifil Soup ! 
 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup ! 
 
 Beau — ootiful Soo — oop ! 
 
 Bea?c — ootiful Soo — oop / 
 Soo — oop of the e — c — evening, 
 
 Beautiful, beautiful Soup ! 
 
 " Beautiful Soup I Who cares for fish, 
 Game, or any other dish ? 
 Who would not give all else for two p 
 enuyworth o?ily of beautiful Soup ? 
 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup ? 
 
 Boo — ootiful Soo — oop ! 
 
 Boo — ootiful Sov — oop ! 
 Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 
 
 Beautiful, beauti — FUL SOUP P* 
 
 " Chorus again !" cried the Gryphon, and the 
 Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when 
 
QUADRILLE. 159 
 
 a cry of " The trial's beginning ! " was heard in 
 the distance. 
 
 " Come on ! " cried the Gryphon, and, taking 
 Alice by the hand, it hurried on, without wait 
 inor for the end of the sons:. 
 
 " What trial is it ? " Alice panted as she ran, but 
 the Gryphon only answered " Come on ! " and 
 ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, 
 carried on the breeze that followed them, the 
 melancholy words : — 
 
 Soo — oop of the e — e — evening, 
 Beautiful, beautiful SouJ> ! " 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 WHO STOLE THE TARTS 
 
 The King- and Oueen of Hearts were seated 
 on their throne when they arrived, with a great 
 crowd assembled about them — all sorts of little 
 birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of 
 cards : the Knave was standing before them, 
 in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard 
 him ; and near the King was the White Rabbit, 
 with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of 
 parchment in the other. In the very middle 
 of the court was a table, wth a large dish of 
 
WHO STOLE THE TARTS 161 
 
 tarts upon it : they looked so good, that it 
 made Alice quite hungry to look at them — " I 
 wish they'd get the trial done," she thought, 
 " and hand round the refreshments ! " But there 
 seemed to be no chance of this, so she began 
 looking at everything about her to pass away 
 the time. 
 
 Alice had never been in a court of justice 
 before, but she had read about them in books, 
 and she was quite pleased to find that she knew 
 the name of nearly everything there. " That's 
 the judge ! " she said to herself, " because of his 
 great wig." 
 
 The judge, by the way, was the King, and as 
 he wore his crown over the wig, (look at the 
 frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he 
 did not look at all comfortable, and it was cer- 
 tainly not becoming. 
 
 " And that's the jury-box," thought Alice, 
 " and those twelve creatures," (she was obliged 
 to say "creatures," you see, because some of 
 them were animals, and some were birds,) : ' I 
 suppose they are the jurors." She said this 
 
1(52 WHO STOLE 
 
 last word two or three times over to herself, 
 being rather proud of it: for she thought, and 
 rightly too, that very few little girls of her age 
 knew the meaning of it at all. However, "jury* 
 men " would have done just as well. 
 
 The twelve jurors were all writing very 
 busily on slates. " What are they doing ? ' 
 Alice whispered to the Gryphon. " They can't 
 have anything to put down yet, before the trial's 
 begun." 
 
 " They're putting clown their names," the 
 Gryphon whispered in reply, " for fear they 
 should forget them before the end of the trial." 
 
 " Stupid things ! " Alice began in a loud 
 indignant voice, but she stopped herself hastily, 
 for the White Rabbit cried out, " Silence in the 
 court ! " and the King put on his spectacles and 
 looked anxiously round, to make out who was 
 talking. 
 
 Alice could see, as well as if she were look- 
 ing over their shoulders, that all the jurors were 
 writing down "stupid things! "on their slates 
 
THE TABTS? 163 
 
 and she could even make out that one of them 
 didn't know how to spell " stupid," and that he 
 had to ask his neighbor to tell him. " A nice 
 muddle their slates '11 be in before the trial's 
 over! " thought Alice. 
 
 One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. 
 This, of course, Alice could not stand, and she 
 went round the court and got behind him, and 
 very soon found an opportunity of taking it 
 away. She did it so quickly that the poor 
 little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not 
 make out at all what had become of it ; so, 
 after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to 
 write with one finger for the rest of the day ; 
 and this was of very little use, as it left no mark 
 on the slate. 
 
 " Herald, read the accusation ! " said the 
 King. 
 
 On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts 
 on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parch- 
 ment scroll, and read as follows ; — 
 
164 
 
 "WHO STOLE 
 
 " The Queen of hearts, she made some tarts. 
 All on a summer day : 
 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 
 And took them quite away ! " 
 
 " Consider your verdict," the King said to 
 the jury. 
 
THE TARTS. 165 
 
 " Not yet, not yet ! " the Rabbit hastily in- 
 terrupted. " There's a great deal to come before 
 that ! " 
 
 "Call the first witness," said the King; and 
 the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the 
 trumpet, and called out, " First witness ! " 
 
 The first witness was the Hatter. He came 
 in with a teacup in one hand, and a piece of 
 bread-and-butter in the other. " I beg pardon, 
 your Majesty," he began, "for bringing these in : 
 but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was 
 sent for." 
 
 " You ousrht to have finished," said the Kins:. 
 " When did you begin ? " 
 
 The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who 
 had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm 
 with the Dormouse. " Fourteenth of March, I 
 think it was," he said. 
 
 " Fifteenth," said the March Hare. 
 
 " Sixteenth," added the Dormouse. 
 
 " Write that down," the King said to the 
 jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three 
 dates on their slates, and then n v dded them 
 
166 WHO STOLE 
 
 up, and reduced the answer to shillings and 
 pence. 
 
 " Take off your hat," the King said to the 
 Hatter. 
 
 " It isn't mine," said the Hatter. 
 
 " Stolen ! " the King exclaimed, turning to 
 the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of 
 the fact. 
 
 " I keep them to sell," the Hatter added as 
 an explanation : " I've none of my own. I'm a 
 hatter." 
 
 Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and 
 began staring hard at the Hatter, who turned 
 pale and fidgeted. 
 
 " Give your evidence," said the King ; '' and 
 don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on 
 the spot." 
 
 This did not seem to encourage the witness 
 at all : he kept shifting from one foot to the 
 other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in 
 his confusion he bit a large piece out of his 
 teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. 
 
 Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious 
 
THE TARTS. 1C7 
 
 sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until 
 she made out what it was : she was beginning 
 to grow larger again, and she thought at first 
 she would get up and leave the court ; but on 
 second thoughts she decided to remain where 
 she was as long as there was room for her. 
 
 " I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said the 
 Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. " I can 
 hardly breathe." 
 
 '* I can't help it," said Alice very meekly: 
 " I'm growing." 
 
 " You've no right to grow here" said the Dor- 
 mouse. 
 
 " Don't talk nonsense," said Alice more boldly : 
 ' you know you're growing too." 
 
 " Yes, but / grow at a reasonable pace," said 
 the Dormouse : " not in that ridiculous fashion." 
 And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to 
 the other side of the court. 
 
 All this time the Queen had never left off 
 staring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse 
 crossed the court, she said to one of the officers 
 of the court, " Bring me the list of the singers in 
 
168 
 
 WHO STOLE 
 
 the last concert 
 
 on which the wretched Hatter 
 trembled so, that he 
 shook both his shoes 
 off. 
 
 " Give your evi- 
 dence," the Kino: re- 
 peated angrily, " or 
 I'll have you executed, 
 j|f whether you're nervous 
 
 I'm a poor man, 
 your Majesty," the 
 Hatter began in a 
 trembling voice, "and 
 I hadn't but just begun my tea — not above 
 a week or so — and what with the bread-and- 
 butter getting so thin — and the twinkling of the 
 tea •-" 
 
 " The twinkling of what? " said the King. 
 " It began with the tea," the Hatter replied. • 
 " Of course twinkling begins with a T ! " said 
 
 the King sharply. " Do you take me for a 
 
 dunce ? Go on ! " 
 
THE TARTS. 169 
 
 " I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, " and 
 most things twinkled after that — only the March 
 Hare said " 
 
 •' I didn't ! " the March Hare interrupted in a 
 great hurry. 
 
 " You did ! " said the Hatter. 
 
 " I deny it ! " said the March Hare. 
 
 " He denies it," said the King: " leave out that 
 part." 
 
 " Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said — " the 
 Hatter went on, looking anxiously round to see 
 if he would deny it too : but the Dormouse 
 denied nothing, being fast asleep. 
 
 " After that," continued the Hatter, " I cut 
 some more bread-and-butter " 
 
 " But what did the Dormouse say ? " one of 
 the jury asked. 
 
 " That I can't remember," said the Hatter. 
 
 " You must remember," remarked the King, 
 or I'll have you executed." 
 
 " The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and 
 bread-and-butter, and went down on one knee. 
 
 " I'm a poor man, your Majesty," he began. 
 
170 WHO STOLE 
 
 • " You're a very poor speaker" said the King. 
 
 Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was 
 immediately suppressed by the officers of the 
 court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will 
 just explain to you how it was done. They had 
 a large canvass bag, which tied up at the mouth 
 with strings : into this they slipped the guinea- 
 pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) 
 
 " I'm glad I've seen that done," thought 
 Alice. " I've so often read in the newspapers, 
 at the end of trials, 'There was some attempt 
 at applause, which was immediately suppressed 
 by the officers of the court,' and I never under- 
 stood what it meant till now." 
 
 " If .that's all you know about it, you may 
 stand down," continued the King. 
 
 " I can't go no lower," said the Hatter : " I'm 
 on the floor, as it is." 
 
 " Then you may sit down," the King replied. 
 
 Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was 
 suppressed. 
 
 " Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs ! " thought 
 Alice. " Now we shall <ret on better." 
 
THE TAitTS. 
 
 171 
 
 " I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter, 
 with an anxious look at the Queen, who was 
 
 reading the list of singers. 
 
 " You may go," said the King, and the Hatter 
 hurriedly left the court, without even waiting to 
 put his shoes on. 
 
 " and just take his head off outside," the 
 
 Queen added to one of the officers ; but the 
 Hatter was out of sight before the officer could 
 get to the door. 
 
 " Call the next witness ! " said the King. 
 
 The next witness was the Duchess' cook. She 
 carried the pepper-box in her hand : and Alice 
 
172 WHO STOLE 
 
 guessed who it was, even before she got into the 
 court, by the way the people near the door began 
 sneezing all at once. 
 
 " Give your evidence," said the King. 
 
 " Shan't," said the cook. 
 
 The King looked anxiously at the White 
 Rabbit, who said in a low voice, " Your Majesty 
 must cross-examine this witness." 
 
 " Well, if I must, I must," the King said with 
 a melancholy air, and, after folding his arms and 
 frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly 
 out of sight, he said in a deep voice, " What are 
 tarts made of ? " 
 
 " Pepper, mostly," said the cook. 
 
 " Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her. 
 
 " Collar that Dormouse ! " the Queen shrieked 
 out. " Behead that Dormouse ! Turn that Dor- 
 mouse out of court ! Suppress him ! Pinch him ! 
 Off with his whiskers ! " 
 
 For some minutes the whole court was in 
 confusion, getting the Dormouse turned out, and, 
 by the time they had settled down again, the 
 cook had disappeared. 
 
THE TARTS. Yl'6 
 
 " Never mind ! " said the King, with an air 
 of great relief. " Call the next witness." And he 
 added in an undertone to the Queen, " Really, 
 my dear, you must cross-examine the next wit- 
 ness. It quite makes my forehead ache ! " 
 
 Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled 
 over the list, feeling very curious to see what the 
 next witness would be like, " — for they haven "t 
 got much evidence yet" she said to herself. 
 Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit 
 read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the 
 name " Alice ! " 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 
 
 " Here ! " cried Alice, quite forgetting in the 
 flurry of the moment how large she had grown 
 in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in 
 such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box 
 with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jury- 
 men on to the heads of the crowd below, and 
 there they lay sprawling about, reminding her 
 very much of a globe of gold-fish she had acci- 
 dentally upset the week before. 
 
 " Oh, I beg your pardon ! " she exclaimed in a 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 
 
 175 
 
 tone of great dismay, and began picking them 
 up again as quickly as she could, for the acci- 
 dent of the gold-fish kept running in her head, 
 
170 ALICES EVIDENCE. 
 
 and she had a vague sort of idea that they must 
 be collected at once and put back into the jury- 
 box, or they would die. 
 
 u The trial cannot proceed," said the King in 
 a very grave voice, '* until all the jurymen are 
 back in their proper places — all" he repeated 
 with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he 
 said so. 
 
 Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, 
 in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head 
 downwards, and the poor little thing was waving 
 its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite 
 unable to move. She soon got it out again, and 
 put it right ; " not that it signifies much," she 
 said to herself; " I should think it would be 
 quite as much use in the trial one way up as the 
 other." 
 
 As soon as the jury had a little recovered 
 from the shock of being upset, and their slates 
 and pencils had been found and handed back to 
 them, they set to work very diligently to write 
 put a history of the accident, all except the 
 Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do 
 
ALTCE S EVIDENCE. 1 " 
 
 anything hut sit with its mouth open, gazing up 
 into the roof of the court. 
 
 ' : What do you know about this busines ? " 
 the Kins: said to Alice. 
 
 " Nothing," said Alice. 
 
 " Nothing whatever ?" persisted the King. 
 
 " Nothing whatever," said Alice. 
 
 " That's very important," the King said, turn- 
 ing to the jury. They were just beginning to 
 write this down on their slates, when the White 
 Rabbit interrupted : " ^important, your Majesty 
 means, of course," he said in a very respectful 
 tone, but frowning and making faces at him as 
 he spoke. 
 
 " ^important, of course, I meant," the King 
 hastily said, and went on to himself in an under- 
 tone, " important — unimportant — unimportant — 
 
 important " as if he were trying which word 
 
 sounded best. 
 
 Some of the jury wrote it down " important," 
 and some " unimportant." Alice could see this, 
 as she was near enough to look over their 
 
1(8 ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 
 
 slates; " but it doesn't matter a bit," she thought 
 to herself. 
 
 At this moment the King, who had been for 
 some time busily writing in his note-book, called 
 out " Silence ! " and read out from his book, 
 " Rule Forty-two. All persons 7nore than a mile 
 high to leave the court? 
 
 Every body looked at Alice. 
 
 "I'm not a mile high," said Alice. 
 
 " You are," said the King. 
 
 " Nearly two miles high," added the Queen. 
 
 " Well) I shan't go, at any rate," said Alice; 
 " besides, that's not a regular rule : you invented 
 it just now." 
 
 " It's the oldest rule in the book," said the 
 King. 
 
 " Then it ought to be Number One," said Alice. 
 
 The King turned pale, and shut his note-book 
 hastily. " Consider your verdict," he said to the 
 jury, in a low trembling voice. 
 
 " There's more evidence to come yet, please 
 your Majesty," said the White Rabbit, jumping 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. I T 1* 
 
 up in a great hurry; " this paper has just been 
 picked up." 
 
 " What's in it ? " said the Queen. 
 
 " I haven't opened it yet," said the White 
 Rabbit, " but it seems to be a letter, written by 
 the prisoner to — to somebody." 
 
 " It must have been that," said the King, 
 " unless it was written to nobody, which isn't 
 usual, you know." 
 
 " Who is it directed to? " said one of the jury- 
 men. 
 
 " It isn't directed at all," said the White 
 Rabbit; " in fact, there's nothing written on- the 
 outside'.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, 
 and added, " It isn't a letter after all : it's a set of 
 verses." 
 
 " Are they in the prisoner's handwriting ? " 
 asked another of the jurymen. 
 
 " No, they're not," said the White Rabbit, 
 " and that's the queerest thing about it." (The 
 jury all looked puzzled.) 
 
 " He must have imitated somebody else's 
 
180 ALICES EVIDENCE. 
 
 hand," said the King. (The jury all brightened 
 up again.) 
 
 " Please your Majesty," said the Knave, 
 " I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: 
 there's no name signed at the end." 
 
 " If you didn't sign it," said the King, " that 
 only makes the matter worse. You must have 
 meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed 
 your name like an honest man." 
 
 There was a general clapping of hands at 
 this : it was the first really clever thing the King 
 had said that day. 
 
 " That proves his guilt," said the Queen. 
 
 " It proves nothing of the sort ! " said Alice. 
 " Why, you don't even know what they're 
 about ! 
 
 " Read them," said the King. 
 
 The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 
 " Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he 
 asked. 
 
 " Begin at the beginning," the King said, 
 gravely, " and go on till you come to the end : 
 then stop." 
 
Alice's evidence. 181 
 
 These were the verses the White Rabbit read : — 
 
 " They told me you had ban to her, . 
 
 And mentioned me to him : 
 She gave me a food character, 
 
 But said I could not swim. 
 
 He sent them word I had not gone 
 
 ( We know it to be true) : 
 If she should push the matter on, 
 
 IV hat would become of you ? 
 
 I mve her one, they cave him two, 
 You cave us three or more ; 
 
 o 
 
 They all returned from him to you, 
 Though the" were mine before. 
 
 If I or she should chance to be 
 
 Involved in this affair, 
 He trusts to you to set themfree y 
 
 Exactly as we were. 
 
182 Alice's evidence. 
 
 My notion was that you had been 
 {Before she had this Jit) 
 
 An obstacle that came between 
 Him, and ourselves, and it. 
 
 Doitt let him know she liked them best 
 
 For this must ever be 
 A secret, kept from all the rest, 
 
 Between yourself andme. ,y 
 
 " That's the most important piece of evidence 
 we've heard yet," said the King, rubbing his 
 hands ; " so now let the jury " 
 
 " If any one of them can explain it," said 
 Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few 
 minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupt- 
 ing him,; " I'll give him sixpence. / don't 
 believe there's an atom of meaning in it." 
 
 The jury all wrote down on their slates, "She 
 doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in 
 
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 183 
 
 it," but none of them attempted to explain the 
 paper. 
 
 " If there's no meaning in it," said the King, 
 " That saves a world of trouble, you know, as 
 we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't 
 know," he went on, spreading out the verses 
 on his knee, and looking at them with one 
 eye ; " I seem to see some meaning in them, 
 after all. ' — said I could net swim — ' you can't 
 swim, can you ? " he added, turning to the 
 Knave. 
 
 The Knave shook his head sadly. " Do I 
 look like it ? " he said. (Which he certainly did 
 not, being made entirely of cardboard.) 
 
 " All right, so far," said the King, and he 
 went on muttering over the verses to himself : 
 " ' We know it to be true- — ' that's the jury, of 
 course — ' I gave her one, they gave him tzvo — ' 
 why, that must be what he did with the tarts, 
 you know — " 
 
 " But it goes on ' they all returned from him 
 to you ,' " said Alice. 
 
184 
 
 ALICE S EVIDENCE. 
 
 "Why, there they 
 are ! " said the King 
 triumphantly, point- 
 ing to the tarts on the 
 table. " Nothing can 
 be clearer than that. 
 Then again — ' before 
 she had this fit — ' you 
 never had fits, my 
 dear, I think? " he 
 said to the Queen. 
 
 " Never ! " said the 
 Queen furiously, 
 
 throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. 
 (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing 
 on his slate with one finger, as \\z found it made 
 
Alice's evidence. 185 
 
 no mark ; but he now hastily began again, using 
 the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long 
 as it lasted.) 
 
 " Then the words don'tyf/ you," said the 
 King, looking round the court with a smile. 
 There was a dead silence. 
 
 " It's a pun ! " the King added in an angry 
 tone, and everybody laughed. " Let the jury 
 consider their verdict," the King said, for about 
 the twentieth time that day. 
 
 " No, no ! " said the Queen. " Sentence first 
 — verdict afterwards." 
 
 " Stuff and nonsense ! " said Alice loudly. 
 " The idea of having the sentence first ! " 
 
 " Hold your tongue ! " said the Queen, turn- 
 ing purple. 
 
 " I won't ! " said Alice. 
 
 " Off with her head ! " the Queen shouted at 
 the top of her voice. Nobody moved. 
 
 " Who cares for you ? " said Alice, (she had 
 grown to her full size by this time.) "You're 
 nothing but a pack of cards ! " 
 
186 
 
 Alice's evidencp:. 
 
 At this the whole pack rose up into the air, 
 and came flying down upon her; she ffave a 
 
Alice's evidence. 187 
 
 little scream, half of fright and half of anger, 
 and tried to beat them off, and found herself 
 lying on the bank, with her head i*n the lap of 
 her sister, who was gently brushing away some 
 dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 
 trees on to her face. 
 
 " Wake up, Alice dear ! " said, her sister ; 
 " why, what a long sleep you've had ! " 
 
 "Oh, I've had such a curious dream ! " said 
 Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she 
 could remember them, all these strange Ad- 
 ventures of hers that you have just been reading 
 about ; and when she had finished, her sister 
 kissed her, and said, " It was a curious dream, 
 dear, certainly : but now run in to your tea ; it's 
 getting late." So Alice got up and ran off, 
 thinking while she ran, as well she might, what 
 a wonderful dream it had been, 
 
188 
 
 But her sister sat still just as she left her, 
 leaning her head on her hand, watching the 
 setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all 
 her wonderful Adventures, till she too began 
 dreaming after a fashion, and this was her 
 dream : — 
 
 First, she dreamed of little Alice herself : — 
 once again the tiny hands were clasped upon 
 her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking 
 up into hers — she could hear the very tones of 
 her voice, and see that queer little toss of her 
 head, to keep back the wandering hair that 
 would always get into hen-eyes — and still as she 
 listened, or seemed to listen, the whole . place 
 around her became alive with the strange crea- 
 tures of her little sister's dream. 
 
 The long: grass rustled at her feet as the 
 White Rabbit hurried by — the frightened Mouse 
 splashed his way through the neighboring pool 
 
189 
 
 — she could hear the rattle of the teacups as 
 the March Hare and his friends shared their 
 never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the 
 Oueen ordering off her unfortunate quests to 
 execution — once more the pig-baby was sneezing 
 on the Duchess' knee, while plates and dishes 
 crashed around it — once more the shriek of the 
 Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate- 
 pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea- 
 pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sob 
 of the miserable Mock Turtle. 
 
 So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half 
 believed herself in Wonderland, though she 
 knew she had but to open them again and all 
 would change to dull reality — the grass would 
 be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rip- 
 pling to the waving of the reeds — the rattling 
 teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, 
 and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the 
 shepherd boy — and the sneeze of the baby, the 
 shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer 
 noises, would change (she knew) to the con- 
 fused clamor of the busy farm-yard — while the 
 
190 
 
 lowing of the cattle in the distance would take 
 the place cf the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs. 
 
 Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same 
 little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be 
 herself a grown woman ; and how she would 
 keep, through all her riper years, the simple and 
 loving heart of her childhood : and how she 
 would gather about her other little children, and 
 make their eyes bright and eager with many a 
 strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of 
 Wonderland of lono:-a2:o : and how she would 
 feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a 
 pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering 
 her own child-life, and the happy summer days. 
 
 THE END. 
 
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 Afloat in the Forest. Cliff Climbers. Ocean Waifs. 
 
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 WORTHINGTON COMPANY, 747 Broadway, New York. 
 

 
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