■-■■<,' if ^■.y'.l 
 
 ■ :v»V'.' ; 
 
THE LIBRARY OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 
 NORTH CAROLINA 
 
 ENDOWED BY THE 
 
 DIALECTIC AND PHILANTHROPIC 
 
 SOCIETIES 
 
 V730.883 
 V394m 
 
 MUSIC LIB. 
 
This book must' not 
 be taken from the 
 Library building. 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 in 2013 
 
 http://archive.org/details/musicaltravelsthOOveal 
 
MUSICAL TRAVELS 
 
 THROUGH 
 
 E N G L A N Di 
 
 B Y 
 
 JOEL COLLIER, Organist. 
 
 Nam, adhuc per domum, aut hortos cecinerat ; quos ut ; 
 parum celebres, et tantae voci anguftos, fpernebat. 
 Non tamen Rom^e incipere aufus. 
 
 T A C, 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for G. K E A R S L Y, in Fleet-ftreet. 
 
 M. DCC. LXXIV. 
 
 (. Price One Shilling. ) 
 

 
mil ■ ■miiim imiii 111 mn iii i ii 
 
 TO THE 
 
 GOVERNORS of the HOSPITAL 
 
 for the Maintenance and Education of 
 expofed and deferted young Children. 
 
 GENTLEMEN, 
 
 Pr HIL E I was ext rafting the following 
 Jheets from my voluminous Journal, and con- 
 7ie5li?ig them together as accurately as 1 was 
 able, in order to prefent the Public with a 
 Specimen of my laborious invefligation of the 
 prefent fate of Music in this my native 
 country, I was fomewhat at a lofs to whom 
 I could with mo ft propriety infer ibe my work. 
 Whether to Doctor Burney, as the ori- 
 ginal inventor of this fpecies of compofition, 
 and the firf mvfeal traveller of our nation, 
 to whom IJland fo much indebted for the 
 plan, and conduct of my book, and of whom 
 I might truly fay in his own words, " that 
 A 2 he 
 
 \\ 7 £ * 
 
 894209 
 
[ iv 1 
 
 he has long Been my magnus Apollo :" — or- 
 whether I was in duty bound to pay homage 
 to the King of Pruffia, as the great eft Di- 
 lettante performer of the age; who, I fup- 
 pofe, at this prefent writing, like another 
 Nero, is playing his new Solfeggi to the 
 dying groans of the ob ft mate Dantziggers ; 
 —or whether I ought not to call forth from 
 his obfcurity that venerable fudge, who 
 contented with lefs ambitious pleafures, cul- 
 tivates the fine arts by humbler and modejler, 
 but not lefs curious experiments, and amufes 
 the leifure hours of a long vacation in ca- 
 ponizing blackbirds * -, or whether Ifiould 
 not do well to exprefs my gratitude, and that 
 of the nation, to the honourable Directors 
 of our Op era 9 far having at lajl condefc ended 
 to permit an Englishwoman to be called 
 Signora, and by virtue of [that title tojhare 
 fome of the princely incomes which have been 
 hitherto lavijhed on Italians, and which, I 
 dare fay, thofe worthy Noblemen and Gen- 
 tlemen would as readily beflow upon Englifh- 
 men, if they would but confent to be pro- 
 perly qualified. This dilemma, however, 
 
 * Vide the laft Vol. of the VbilofophicalTraufafiions. 
 
 was 
 
t v ] 
 
 was at an end, as foon as I learnt, that 
 Dr. Burney, and Signor Giardini, bad, 
 under your authority y jufi founded a fchool 
 tor mufic fin imitation, I fuppofe, of the 
 Italian Confervatorios) in the Foundling 
 Hospital, where about an hundred of 
 fuchpocr children, as have hitherto been placed 
 out to trades andfervices, in which they had 
 no opportunity of making a noife in the world, 
 are, in future, to be trained to harmony from 
 their infancy, and confiantly employed in 
 thejludy of miifc, 'till inprocejs of time they 
 take their regular degrees as Do&ors, and ' 
 DodlorefTes of mufic, and come forth, fujfici- 
 ently accomplijhedfas they mufi be under fuch 
 mafters,J tojorm the national tafte> by the 
 true Italian ftandard. When I was informed 
 of this event, I hailed the happy omen, the 
 dawn of an Auguftan jEra; and refolvcd to 
 offer my tribute of congratulation and ap- 
 plaufe, and to dedicate this work to a fet of 
 gentlemen,who havefo diftinguified their zeal 
 for the inter eft and advancement of mnfic. 
 Perhaps it will at firft appear a bold 
 • widertaking in the guardians of deferted 
 orphans, chief y fupported by parliamentary 
 grants of public money, to declare, that they 
 
 cannot 
 
[ vi ] 
 
 cannot be maintained by the public for a 
 more ufeful purpofe, than to be taught to 
 fing and play Italian airs. For men of 
 narrow and contracted minds, who have 
 neither ear, nor voice, nor hand, will [till 
 imagine, that it might prove of more na- 
 tional utility, to breed thefe adopted children 
 of the public, to Hufiandry, Navigation, &c. 
 the objects cj their original deftinati on ; than 
 to convert one of the nobleft of our public cha- 
 rities into a nurferyfor the fupply of mufical 
 performers at our theatres, gardens, and 
 hops. — But this is a vulgar prejudice. The 
 improvement of the fine arts ought to be the 
 firft object of public attention in an age of 
 luxury, peace, and plenty, like the prejent . 
 when we have rivalled the Italians in mujic, 
 > it will be time enough to think of our navy, 
 and our agriculture. - We have already (to 
 cur fjame be it fpoken.J better Jailors than 
 jidlerSy and more farmers //6#72Contrapuntifts. 
 But as I take this circumftance to arife en- 
 tirely from the differ eiit degree of encourage- 
 ment thofe occupations have hitherto received; 
 1 do not defpair of feeing the rev erf e take 
 place, when gentlemen of your rank deign 
 to ft and forward, and correel the errors of 
 
 the 
 
[ vii ] 
 
 the public, by the influence and fanBion of 
 ■your example. Should any cbftacies arife 
 to impede the immediate execution of your 
 plan, from flome obfolete but unrepealed 
 parliamentary reft riff ions, doubtlejs the fame 
 legiflators who fo readily expended the 
 public money in the pur chafe of Sir William 
 Hamilton'* collection of 'antique vafes, and 
 Etrufcan rarities, will not only repeal any 
 former ac~f which may ft and in your way ; 
 but rejoice in a frefh opportunity of df- 
 playing their fine iafte and love of the 
 arts, by ' laying an additional tax upon 
 fuch of the neceffaries of life as are not 
 already overloaded, in order to raife a com- 
 petent fum for the pur chafe of the beft Cre- 
 monas, and other inftruments which can be 
 procured on the continent, for the fervice 
 of your Academia. i" have only to add, 
 gentlemen, that if upon a perufal of the 
 following floeets youfloall find, as I am per - 
 fuadcdyou will, that my travels are alfo * in 
 fome me afire, a tnatter of national con- 
 cern ; I hope you will be kind enough to 
 fecond my intended application to pariia- 
 
 * — " He Was the firfl: who feemed to think my journey 
 " was, in fomemeafure, a matter of national concern." 
 Tour to Germany, &c. 
 
 mcnt, 
 
I viii ] 
 
 mcnt, that the charges of my future ex- 
 peditions may be defrayed at the public 
 expejice. This, gentlemen, may be done by 
 a very Jhort clauje ; and as it will enable 
 me to purfue my enquiries with Jpirit, credit, 
 and Juccefs, will \ lay a lafting obligation 
 upon, 
 
 . Gentlemen, 
 Tour very obedient, 
 
 and devoted humble Servant, 
 
 JOEL COLLIER. 
 
MUSICAL TRAVELS, ftfc. 
 
 I WAS born in the Parifh of Gotham, 
 in the county of Nottingham: my father 
 was a lawyer, and my mother had, for 
 many years before her marriage, cried 
 oyfters and Newcaftle-falmon about the 
 flreets of London. Neither of them are 
 faid to have been remarkable for their 
 vocal or inftrumental talents. My mother's 
 voice was, indeed, exceedingly fhrill and 
 dirTonant, as I have been credibly in- 
 formed by the neighbours; however, I 
 was no fooner born than I gave proofs of 
 B uncom- 
 
[ * ] 
 
 uncommon mufical propenfities. I entered 
 the world, finging, inftead of crying; at 
 leaft, toy fquall was truly melodious, and 
 ravifhed the ears of the midwife; tho', 
 I muft confefs, the envious old hag of a 
 nurfe did pretend that my mother and 
 Mrs. Midnight miftook the origin of the 
 wild notes I uttered as foon as I faw 
 the light; and, infilling that they only 
 denoted the wind-cholic, immediately 
 drenched me with a large dofe of rhubarb : 
 however, ihe has candidly confeffed, that 
 ihe eafily fang me to fleep whenever I 
 was peevifh, and that even by means of 
 fuch fimple melody as Jack Sprat, or hey 
 diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle. A 
 harm and menacing recitative would as 
 effectually deter me from a naughty trick, 
 as a good whipping. The found of a 
 drum, or any other martial mufic, had 
 fuch an immediate effect upon my nerves, 
 that I was always obliged to be turned 
 dry before the piece was half over. The 
 famous March in Saul is too powerful for 
 
 me 
 
[ 3 ] 
 
 me even at this day, tho' I can (land any 
 other, without being offenfive. Indeed, 
 I am fo well convinced of the connection 
 between the found and the fenfc in all 
 good mufic, that I will venture to pre- 
 fcribe Handel's water-piece, and water 
 parted from the fe,a, as fpecifics for a 
 ftrangury. I know that there is great 
 truth in what Sbakefpear fays of the bag- 
 pipe j and I have obferved that a jockey 
 always whittles to his liorfe upon tliefe 
 occafions, which never fails to produce 
 great eifects, tho' the performer want 
 brilliancy of execution ever fo much. 
 
 One of the firn: circumftances I myfelf 
 can recoiled!: in my early years, was. the 
 great pleafure I took in hearing a blind 
 boy play tunes on a bladder of air prefs'd 
 between a bow- flick and its fixing. The 
 Jew's-harp next engaged my attention ; 
 and afterwards the bag- pipe and baflbon. 
 Indeed I do remember having been told 
 by my Grandmother, that whilft I was 
 yet in coats, Xtook vaft.delight in pinching 
 B 2 the 
 
[4] 
 
 the tails of the Parfon's litter of pigs, and 
 would liften to their various notes and 
 tones from they (harp of the whine of the 
 leaft of the family, quite down to the b flat 
 of the boar himfelf. This, with my 
 attention to my coral and bells, and 
 rattle; finging thro' a comb and brown 
 paper, together with the great expertnefs 
 I afterwards {hew'd in making whittles of 
 reeds, and the recent bark of fycamore 
 twigs, made the oldeft people of the parifli 
 foretel, that I mould one day or other 
 become a great and celebrated Mufician. 
 
 My tafte for the Mer art of mufic, 
 Poetry, was likewife, as I am inform'd, 
 obferved very early in my childhood ; as 
 I always held my mouth wide open, when 
 the Pfalm was fang at our Parifh-Church ; 
 and foon was able to repeat without book 
 a great part of Sternbold and Hopkins's 
 excellent verfion of that great Dilettanti 
 performeron the harp, King David's pieces. 
 
 Having been well inform'd that the 
 infancy, and indeed the riper years of the 
 
 great 
 
■ t s 1 
 
 <*reat Muf. D. or mufical Doctor (whom 
 I call, par excellence, Dr. Mus) pafied in 
 much the fame manner, and with fimilar 
 expectations from all the old ladies of his 
 acquaintance ; and having obferved with 
 what eclat, and indeed univerfal approba- 
 tion of all people of tafte, his ingenious 
 account of his ingenious travels has been 
 received, I conceived a defign of following 
 fo illuftrious an example, and travelling 
 through the dominions of England, Scot- 
 land and Ireland, with the town of 
 Berwick upon Tweed, to give a true 
 ftate of the mufical improvement and 
 progreffion in thefe kingdoms; and hope I 
 may flatter myfelf, that the Dr. himfelf will 
 applaud my undertaking, andconfider it as 
 a proper fupplement to his elaborate work. 
 Before I fet forwards on my travels, I 
 chofe to change my name from Collier to 
 Coglloni or Collioni, as more euphonious -, 
 and on the firft of April, having torn 
 myfelf from the arms of my weeping 
 wife, and four fmall children, I put my 
 
 balloon 
 
[ 6 ] 
 
 balloon into a green-bag, and flung it 
 acrofs my moulders; my large violoncello 
 was laid on my knee as I fat in the 
 waggon, and my clothes, with a bottle of 
 brandy and feme bifcuits, were pack'd up 
 in the viol-cafe. As I was neither pa- 
 tronized, nor franked on my tour by any 
 Dilettanti Lord, I mud confefs the low 
 flateof my circumftances, and the poverty 
 in which I had left my family, can: a damp 
 on my fpirits ; but this was always foon 
 diiTipated by an air on the violoncello, 
 and by recollecting the great advantages 
 my travels, to enquire into the itate of 
 mufic in this ifland, would be to my 
 dear native country, and the fame and 
 glory I mould acquire by the publication 
 of my work, perhaps only inferior to 
 that of the great Dr. Mus ;himfelf. 
 
 Infpir'd by tafte, o'er lands and feas he flew, 
 Europe he faw, and Europe faw him too. 
 Thro' lands of finging, or of dancing flaves, 
 Love-ecchoing woods, and lute-refounding waves. 
 O while along the ftream of time, that name 
 Expanded flies, and gathers all its fame ; 
 Say, fhall my little bark attendant fail, 
 Purfue the triumph and partake the gale ? — 
 
 LIN- 
 
[ 7 1 
 
 LINCOLN. 
 
 H U S occafionally confoling my- 
 felf, the waggon arrived at the famous 
 and ancient city of Lincoln. My firft vifit 
 was to a young lady of high mufical ac- 
 quirements. She received me with a moft 
 bewitching air, which me fang to her guit- 
 tar, for me had heard of my fame at Got/jam t 
 and was not unapprized of my ambulatory 
 defign : her name was originally Ferni- 
 hough, but me had long dropped the 
 bough at the end of it, as gothic and 
 inharmonious. Thus me faluted me : 
 " Dear Collioni, Collioni, Collioni ; 
 Dear, dear, dear, Collioni j 
 Happy, happy, Gotham, Gotham; 
 Gotham, Gotham, happy Gotham/' 
 I could only bow and fmile in anfwer 
 
 to this compliment, (which indeed, tho' 
 very elegant, I did not conceive was above 
 
 my merits,) as I had not an extempore 
 
 ibnnet ready made to anfwer it. 
 
 Then 
 
[ 8 ] 
 
 Then taking my hand with a delightful 
 air, me introduced me to Dr. Dilettanti* 
 a moft illuftrious timeift; he fat muring 
 and beating with his foot, and took hold 
 of, and quitted my hand in the fame 
 portion of time, which he meafuredby 
 the pulfations ofliis foot. 
 
 fC Excufe, faid he, illuftrious Collioni, 
 " the meafured mode of my geftures in 
 " faluting you; but I have long ac- 
 " cuftomed myfelf to meafure out the parts 
 xt of time on a variety of founding inftru- 
 « { ments, and have at length introduced it 
 " into all the motions of my body. At 
 " my houfe, fir, you will learn to cut your 
 " meat, and move your jaws at dinner in 
 " common or triple time, according to 
 " the instruments that accompany our 
 
 " meals. By dealing the cards at qua- 
 
 " drille, how ealy it is to judge if the 
 
 " party has an ear! yonder gentleman 
 
 " who comes towards our window, fee how 
 " he fwings his arms in exact time, true as 
 " the pendulum of a clock. I can allure 
 
 " you 
 
[ p ] 
 
 * «?* you, fir, he is great on the violoncello. 
 «« My dear wife fays, the conjugal endear- 
 *f ments are doubly improved, ifahufband 
 " is a good timeift. She approves of 
 '« triple time ; and on this account I for- 
 " merly had a fervant who play'd in our 
 « c bed-room every Sunday night, 'till we 
 '* flept. And fince I became one of the 
 <c cqftrati, I have acquired the habit of 
 t( making water at intervals in the trueft 
 " time like a pig ; and may fay, that I 
 " believe for exactnefs of ear, that I am 
 " not exceeded by any modern mufician." 
 On this, this great man took up a Jew's 
 harp that lay by him, and with a twinge 
 twang, twong, moving his finger acrofs 
 his lips, and making faces in the moft 
 exa<ft time, he fetched out fuch prurient 
 harmony, as ravifhed my very foul, and 
 threw fweet Mifs Ferni into the moft 
 agreeable convulfions. 
 
 During our dinner, two of the Doctor's 
 fervants entertained us with many excel- 
 lent and folemn pieces of mufic. Indeed, 
 C I was 
 
1 1° ] 
 
 I was fo felicitous to cut and eat my meat 
 in true time, as I thought my character 
 depended on this circumrlance, that I 
 unfortunately cut my lips, fo that the 
 blood much terrified me ; and fweet Mifs 
 Ferni was fo earnellly attending to- the 
 fiddlers, that on* their fuddenly changing 
 the time from adagio to fejtina, mb fwal- 
 lowed the ivory fpcon out of a muftard 
 pot j which, as itfluck acrofs her throat, I 
 am fure muft have given that excellent 
 young lady exquifite pain, yet did me 
 cough, and even vomit repeatedly in moft 
 accurate time, and fcreamed from fear 
 mod: harmonioufly through the whole 
 gamut, from a to g inclulively, long 
 after the fpoon was feftored to its place. 
 
 ■ I i .';■.: 
 
 S H E F- 
 
t II J 
 
 SHEFFIELD. 
 
 R. Dilettanti "was fo kind as to make 
 me a prefent of a place in the ftage 
 coach to Sheffield in. my road to Tork, that 
 I might inquire into the prefent irate of 
 the mufic of that city and cathedral. 
 Amongft the other parTengers, was a gen- 
 tleman of a grave afpect ; who, from his 
 not attending to me at the inn, when I 
 play'd a moft inchanting folo on my 
 hautboy, appear'd at firft to have no ear$, 
 but on further converfation I found him a 
 moft agreeable companion. He cry'd up 
 the ingenuity of the Sheffield maniir 
 fa&urers, and told me of a new mufical 
 inftrument, more complicate, he thought, 
 and louder than an organ. The next day 
 he was fo good as to accompany me to 
 hear this new organic inftrument. The 
 firft thing I could obferve was a number 
 of iron pipes, and a water wheel to work 
 C 2 the 
 
[ 12 ] 
 
 the large bellows, like that organ of 
 which there is a print in Kempleri Mu~ 
 furgia. When the wheel was in motion, 
 I obferved many of the notes higher than 
 in any organ I had ever heard ; and was 
 told, that thefe ingenious people had 
 found the only way to produce thefe was, 
 by boring gun-barrels : to thefe a fym- 
 phony was adduced by files which cut 
 the teeth of large faws, and the mellow 
 tones of two great hammers, which at 
 intervals ftruck on large pieces of red-hot 
 iron, made a more tremendous and af- 
 fecting concert, than all the mingled 
 whittles of Cecilia ? s organ. 
 
 Having paid a milling to the performers 
 of this flupendous piece of harmony, at 
 which my grave companion feem'd much 
 delighted, and liften'd to my remarks 
 upon it with the greater!: avidity and 
 approbation $ " Signior Collioni" fays he, 
 '** your obfervations inchant me ; the moft 
 ** antient mufic, as you well explain, was 
 .'* made- with hammers beating upon an- 
 
 ** vils, 
 
[ *3 J 
 u vils, as invented by Tubal Cain, and 
 " practifed in the £hop of his fuccefTor, 
 «« Vulcan, tho' Saturn is thought to have 
 " been the firft of the cajlrati. — But this 
 " invention was not compleat, Signior 
 " Collioni, it was not compleat, till this 
 Sf excellent treble made by boring guns, 
 " and cutting faws was added. — It is now 
 " become the true antient, celebrated, 
 (C long-loft, and long-deplored chromatic, 
 " which that Heathen, Plato, who had 
 " doubtlefs afs's ears, expelled from his 
 " artificial commonwealth." 
 
 « Doubtlefs you are right in your con- 
 " jedlures, reply'd I, Mr. Hummings, 
 ** (for that was my kind companion's 
 " name) it was muiic like this, which 
 ?' could difenchant the moon, and make 
 iC trees and itones dance allemands. 
 fi Would you believe it, Mr. Hummings, 
 (i I once cured a girl bit with a tarantula 
 " myfelf with this fim r !e balloon ? 
 
 " Trut, turrut, phub, phub, bujh!-— 
 ** This was the air, Mr. Hummings* you 
 
 " (hall 
 
I m ] 
 
 *' fliall hear it trut, turrut, phub,phub> 
 
 (t bujh: — -the girl rifing from her melan- 
 <e lancholy attitude, danced till the fweat 
 " ran ( down to the hern of her fcarlet 
 e ' petticoat ; and after I had prefented her 
 *« with a bit of money, became fo lively 
 •* as to flrip herfelf like King David, and 
 " danced like a HeineL I can arTure you, 
 M Mr. Hammings, I drove away the evil 
 " fpirit, and cured her of her tarantulifm 
 tc that night. 
 
 " Not unlike this, is a fact recorded 
 " by the divine Homer. Ulyjfes had a 
 €t large rent made in his thigh by a wild 
 ie boar,' — a terrible animal, Mn Hum- 
 «« mings : — well, and what happen'd ? — 
 €t why, he only fent for the town- waits, 
 " and after the firft bar or two were 
 " play'd, the blood flopp'd ; and as the 
 " fiddles proceeded, the wound con- 
 " tracked, and by the time they had 
 s( finished Alley Croaker, Moggy Lauder* 
 < £ zudA lovely Lafs toa Fryar came, (which' 
 c « are all antient Greek tunes, fir,) the 
 
 " wound 
 
(I 
 
 ** wound ' was quite healed, and the 
 '* cicatrix as fmooth as the back of my 
 H hand." ' 
 
 During this converfation, an unfortunate 
 accident had happened near us. One of 
 the performers on the hammer and iron 
 by a fall had broken his leg. Afurgeon 
 Was fent for with all difpatch, hot Mr. 
 Himmings faid I had* as well try the.,$fTe<3; 
 of the balloon upon him; and point- 
 ing to me, told the people that they need 
 feek no farther, .for I was fuperior to any 
 furgeon. Upon this, untying my green 
 bag, the man cry'd out, he begg'd no 
 inflruments might be ufed. " No, ;({ays 
 " I,) none but a muiical inftrument." So 
 I began with a gentle blaft, and played 
 and fung alternately,—" Toiill ?ie , er go 
 " the fooner to the Stygian Ferry. Let not 
 u your twble fpirits be caft down, but drink, 
 t( drink, drink, and be merry"- — (C Give 
 " me feme ale, (cries the wounded man) 
 f* I like this, Doctor." Afterward I blew 
 till I nearly had burfr. my cheeks, and 
 I then 
 
[ i6] 
 
 then fung, If ' tis joy to wound a lover -, but 
 the bone would not knit : — indeed I could 
 not make itknitatall — and I don't believe, 
 as Mr. Hummings faid, that if Dr. Mus 
 himfelf, and all the muficians of Britain, 
 fiddlers, violoncellos, double violoncellos, 
 trumpets, and trurnpet-marinoS, together 
 with every Macfiro di Capella in Italy 
 had been prefent, they could have made 
 this bone knit — which, I fuppofe, was 
 owing to the fcorbutic habit of body of 
 the patient; indeed, Mr. Hummings at- 
 tributed it entirely to this caufe j for the 
 blood flopped before I had finiihed the 
 firft fong. 
 
 YORK. 
 
[i7] 
 
 YORK. 
 
 O THING worth remark occur'd 
 in my journey from hence to York; 
 but at my approach to this celebrated city, 
 my heart leapt for joy as foon as I beheld 
 the towers of the cathedral j here, fays I, 
 I (hall be much careffed and followed, I 
 dare believe, as there are fo many of the 
 Dilettanti 'who relide within the precincts of 
 this antient feat of mufic and fuperftition. 
 This letter, fays I, is of ineftimable value, 
 taking it from my pocket, and reading 
 the direction, " For that incomparable 
 " Mufician and Antiquarian, Dr. Hiccup-," 
 doubtlefs he will pay great attention to 
 his friends at Lincoln, who have honoured 
 me with it. The footman (hewed me 
 into an elegant parlour, where there was 
 a clock with chimes, fo contrived that 
 St, Peter, St. Paul, and the Virgin Mary 
 were feen ftriking alternately on the bells, 
 D and 
 
[ I»] 
 
 and by a fweet trio announced every hour 
 of the day. Dr. Hiccup was, it feems, 
 at his devotions, which he always per- 
 formed in imitation of that great and 
 devout mufician, King David. He was a 
 tall, boney figure, with a fwarthy com- 
 plexion, and blear eyes. As I fat down 
 he took no notice of me, but continued 
 dancing with a harp in his hand, without 
 his breeches, and with his night-gown 
 and fhirt tucked up above his waift ; and 
 as he turned his brown pofteriors this 
 way and that, in the gyrations of the 
 dance, all the women and children that 
 were looking in through the window of 
 his parlour, giggled, and made faces, and 
 (hewed variety of indecent gefticulations 
 and noifes. None of thefe, however, in- 
 terrupted the devotions of this great man. 
 Never were fuch charming .tunes eli- 
 cited from mortal harp, Cambria?! or Eolic! 
 the dance was Devotion itfelf in human 
 form \ After a little refremment, this il- 
 luftrious Mufician condefcend^d to enter- 
 tain 
 
[ 19 1 
 
 tain me with feveral interesting particu- 
 lars of the manner of his life, which I 
 begg'd leave to copy in my pocket, book 
 in his prefence. 
 
 He rofe every morning, when his 
 chime-clock ftruck eleven, (for, like the 
 famous Chevalier Gluck, he is too great 
 a genius to rife early) and generally gaped 
 all the time his lady was putting on his 
 breeches. For breakfaft he always eat 
 rolls and butter^ whether in fummer or 
 winter ; and after his breakfafl: paid a vifit 
 to Cloacma, but allured me he never ufed 
 old mufic books on this occafion on any 
 account. He retired to reft about ten, 
 and feldom fail'd once in a month to com- 
 pliment his lady for undreffing him. 
 
 He communicated many other particu- 
 lars to me of lefs moment, and was fo 
 obliging at length to beg I would treat 
 him with an air or two on the balloon. 
 
 I thought this a good opportunity to 
 
 give him a fpecimen of my poetic talents, 
 
 as well as of my mufical ones, and per- 
 
 D 2 formed 
 
[ 20} 
 
 formed the following fong, which I com- 
 po r ed at Gotham feveral years ago. 
 
 « Some came in a waggon, and fome in a cart ; 
 And many there were that did nothing but f — t: 
 Oh rare Nottingham town, Nottingham town I 
 Nottingham town ; Oh rare Nottingham town !" 
 
 The fweetnefs of the notes on my 
 balloon, an inftrument whofe tone is fo 
 like the found it was to reprefent, ravimed 
 his ears, which he hung quite down on. 
 each fhoulder, during the whole time of 
 my performance. 
 
 1 flept this night at Dr. Hiccup's houfe, 
 and borrowed a fhirt and pair of {lockings 
 of him. At breakfaft I took an oppor- 
 tunity to tell him of the narrownefs of 
 my circumftances ; but he was fuddenly 
 taken with a rapturous fit of devotion, 
 and pulling up his night-gown to his waift, 
 began to ling, and dance, and caper, and 
 kick, to fuch a degree, that no one in 
 the room was fafe : I ran towards the door 
 to fave my fhins, and the Dodtor rifing 
 with both feet in the air like a Harlequin, 
 gave me fuch a horfe-kick on my rump, 
 
 finging 
 
[ 21 ] 4 
 
 finging at the fame time the March in Saul, 
 that I defcended into the ftreet down five 
 fteps, head foremoft, and cracked my 
 baffoon in twenty places. 
 
 Six hours I attended at the door, but was 
 told by a fervant out of a window, that 
 the Doctor was ftill performing his dance 
 of devotion; and for aught I know, that 
 great man may dance till doom's- day, as 
 I never after could get any other anfwer at 
 his door. 
 
 On more mature reflexion, I thought 
 this kind of treatment very hard from a 
 brother mufician, and one to whom I was 
 fo well recommended; but I confoled 
 myfelf with confidering, that though my 
 balloon was broken in fundry places, yet 
 I had retained the Doctor's fhirt and 
 ftockings ; and that it was very likely my 
 great prototype, Dr. Mus himfeif, had 
 frequently met with the fame treat- 
 ment, tho' his modefty had inclined him 
 to conceal it. 
 
 D U R.» 
 
[ 22 ] 
 
 DURHAM. 
 
 ROM this place to Durham I 
 was neceffitated to travel on foot; 
 and by playing the . Black Joke, Mur- 
 doch O'Blaney, and other fentimental tunes 
 to the girls of the villages I pafs'd through, 
 procured food and lodging, which my 
 brother of the String had refufed me. 
 At Darlington* I waited on the Maejiro di 
 Capella, or clerk of the parifh, who I 
 may arTerthad the fincftnafality, ornofe- 
 intonation, that ever was given to David's 
 ffalms; and the melody of his Amen, 
 was quite aftonifhing. 
 
 So well was my baffoon received at this 
 church, that the 'Squire's lady invited me 
 to Dinner. " Good Signior Collioni, fays 
 u lhe, you have charmed, you have en- 
 " raptured me ; pray, has the wind which 
 " efcapes out at the endofyourinflrument 
 
 *' any fmell?". '"fmell! fays I, no, 
 
 c * madam, 
 
• [ *3 ] 
 
 " madam, not unlefs I eat onions." At 
 this all the ladies laughed mod extra- 
 vagantly. ' 
 
 However, the 'Squire after dinner gave 
 me a recommendatory letter to the great 
 yix.Eccbo oi Durham, principal performer 
 belonging to that opulent cathedral ; and 
 withal told me, that Mr. Eccbo had fo 
 long apply'd himfelf to mufical notes, 
 that he had utterly forgot all articulate 
 language. That he preached, converfed, 
 prayed, fcolded, fwore, talk'd bawdy, 
 and blafphemy, all on the fiddle, without 
 uttering a word, or even making a fign 
 with his fingers. 
 
 At my introduction to this great man, 
 I began a long complimental Ipeech, 
 which I had been fome time fiudying.— — . 
 te Mofl: refpeclable fir, whofe foul is a 
 * c foul of harmony, and whofe body is 
 
 <c like abafe-viol." Here he fnatch'd 
 
 up his fiddle with an air of great com- 
 placency, and drawing the bow gently 
 over the firings faid, as plain as if he had 
 
 Ipoke 
 
[ 24] 
 
 fpoke it. "Oh, fir, your moft obedient; 
 tc you compliment me indeed, fir, too 
 " much." I then told him how long a 
 journey I had performed on foot, and that 
 the dufly roads had made me dry. He 
 fnatched up his violin, and before he had 
 play'd above a bar or two, in came a foot- 
 man with a jug of delicate ale. Next I 
 mentioned modeftly myhavingeat nothing 
 all day. — -"Trut, trut 3 bifh, bafo, bujh" 
 cries the fiddle — " Indeed, fir, replies I, T, 
 
 " don't faft for the fake of devotion" 
 
 tf i r ^ eVi ar ^ g Uerry quorr^ quurr* — quoth 
 the fiddle, and in came a furloin of cold 
 beef, and muftard and bread, in the 
 twinkling of a fiddle-flick. 
 
 This gentleman, quoth I, is greater 
 than Orpheus or Eurydice, or the Ser- 
 pent;-— no, no, Orpheus could do no fuch 
 things as thefe — ale and beef were a note 
 or two above his fiddle ! 
 
 Soon after came in Mr. Eccho's wife, 
 with a "what the deuce are you about; 
 " bringing beggars into my hQufe?" — Mr. 
 
 Eccho 
 
Eccho catched up the fiddle, and fuch a 
 iar did I never hear " arg, erg, urg, gir, 
 u go r i & ur " — I warrant you madam be- 
 came as dumb as if me were inchanted. 
 
 Indeed, hearing this lady give me the 
 opprobrious name of beggar, I took care 
 to mew the diamond ring on my little 
 finger, which I always wear when I per- 
 form in public, which might give her a 
 better opinion of me, tho' indeed it is 
 only a Briftol flione, and that I pay -a 
 filver-fmith two pence a week for the ule 
 of; and I would have hired a laced 
 waiftcoat, but was afked a milling a 
 week, tho J I am fure the lace had been 
 twice turn'd ; yet, if I had hired it, I 
 dare fay Dr. Hiccup would fcarcely have 
 kicked me out of his houfe. 
 
 E CAR- 
 
[ 26] 
 
 CARLISLE. 
 
 AT Carlijle I waited on Lord Did* 
 die-doodle with proper mufical ere-* 
 dentials : he was fat againft a glafs 
 practifing fome folfeggis on the violin, 
 and attending to the gracefulnefs of his 
 pwn attitude. " fyioft illuflrious Peer, 
 (t fays I," (making a bow to the very 
 ground) ce your noble anceftors gain'd 
 (t victory in the hardy fields of war, but 
 ? c you by mufic civilize and harmonize 
 * £ mankind; with what rapture muftthey 
 ** lean from their ftarry manfiens to fee 
 V and hear your immortal powers of har- 
 " mony and grace!" I ftopp'i and on 
 looking up, found that his lordfhip had 
 not attended to a word I had fpoken, nor 
 feemed confeious of my being in the 
 room ;-^but as great geniufes are often 
 abfent, I repeated my compliment in 
 a louder voice, and approaching, was 
 
 amazec} 
 
amazed to find that his lordfhip was quite 
 deaf, deaf as a poll; and yet he executed 
 the mofl difficult paffages in mufic witri 
 the greater! grace and manner, better^ 
 I dare fay, than if he had heard his 
 own performance. 
 
 When his lordfhip had perceived me, 
 he approached me with the utmofl: polite- 
 nefs, and made figns for me to fit down, 
 and accompany him upon the balloon, 
 which I did 'till dinner-time. After din- 
 ner, I intreated my lady Diddle- doodle to 
 prevail upcn the noble lord to fing, which 
 he did ; but I was rather difappointed at 
 finding that his voice was only pack- 
 thread *. However, he fuhg in tune ; 
 had a make, and was far from vulgar. 
 My lady afterwards made ample amends 
 by her own finging. Her voice was a 
 fkane of filk, without the lead mixture of 
 woifled. She underftood all the lights 
 and fhades of melody. Her "back-grouad i 
 
 • *' His voice is now but a thread." 
 
 Tour to Italt. 
 
 E % her 
 
[28] 
 
 her mezzotints ; and her clare-obfcure 
 were charming, and there was fuch a 
 roundnefss and dignity in all the tones, 
 that every thing fhe did became in- 
 teresting. 
 
 It was in this part of England, I paid 
 a vifit to Mr. Quaver, with recommen- 
 datory letters from lord Diddle- doodle -, I 
 found him to be a gentleman of confider- 
 able and original mufical genius ; his tafte 
 was pure, chafte, refined; and his ex- 
 ecution, particularly upon tha Jew's harp, 
 was exquifite ; he executed with great 
 tafte and powers, Nancy Daw/on, Lilla- 
 bullero, and Old Sir Simon the king. After 
 dinner he explained to me his fyftem for 
 the improvement of found, which was at 
 once fublime and original. te The Author 
 " of Nature," faid he, "has with an equal 
 "and judicious hand diflributed his gifts 
 " among his creatures : to one he has given 
 " ftrength; to another, dexterity j to a third, 
 i{ perfeverance 3 in the fame manner has he 
 " divided the agreeable qualifications; and 
 
 " the 
 
[ 29 ] 
 
 ft the courtier and the fine gentleman need 
 Sc not blufh to receive inflruction from the 
 <e fpaniel and the monkey — Now as the 
 " philofopher models his life upon an imi- 
 c < tation of the virtues of animals, the true 
 '* connoirTeur will do the fame" — there he 
 ftopp'd, as if afraid to explain himfelf; but 
 I told him, that there was fomething fo 
 original and maflerly in his conceptions 
 that I mould never be eafy, until he com- 
 municated them. Upon which, after a 
 fhort paufe, he feized me by the hand, 
 and grafping it with affection, " fince, 
 * f faid he, I find in you the true fpirit of 
 " your fcience, I will no longer maintain 
 "any referve; know then, that after a 
 '« profound meditation upon the fublimeil 
 u myfteries of our prcfeffion, I have traced 
 u them up to the creation"-—" how! faid 
 <c I, withamaze, I thought that the greateft 
 " Antiquarians had never brought them 
 cc with any certainty higher than the De- 
 " luge." «<I knew," faid he, « I mouldfur- 
 prize you \ but it is certain that Adam, 
 
 " amongft 
 
 tjf 
 
«c 
 
 t 3°] 
 
 amongft his other qualifications, poffefTed 
 " that of expreffing every found that ever 
 '? has or can be uttered; hence he could not 
 *' only fing bafe and treble, counter-tenor, 
 " and foprano to admiration; but alfo 
 " fqueak like a pig, croak like afrog, bel- 
 '• low like a bull, whinny like a colt, and 
 tc bray like an afs. 
 
 u It is true, that the greater part of thefe 
 u faculties was taken from him at the Fall, 
 " and have been very fparingly beftowed 
 " upon his defcendants ; from hence arifes 
 u that degeneracy into which mufic has 
 * £ fallen in the modern ages of the world : 
 " thatfublime fcience, inftead of expreffing 
 , eC the natural paffions, by a judicious imita- 
 « c tion of the tones of beafts; inftead of 
 " roaring out the lion's rage; bellowing the 
 " jealoufy of the bull, or chanting the amo-* 
 si rous paffions of the nightingale, is become 
 *' ameer unmeaning jargon, without force 
 * c or energy, and its profeffors and ad- 
 cc mirers are dwindled into the moft con- 
 " temptiblepartof the creation; quavering 
 
 " eunuchs, 
 
[30 
 
 " eunuchs, unfeeling proftitutes, liifignifif 
 " cant blockheads, wretches without head, 
 *' or heart, or fentimentjOr enthufiafm." — 
 I was too fenfible that there was but too 
 much truth in this gentleman's obferva- 
 tions, though I could not anient to every 
 thing he faid againir. our modern <uirtuoJi y 
 among whom envy itfelf muft acknow- 
 ledge there are fome accomplifhed cha- 
 racters j and the eighteenth century will 
 always glory in having produced an Elec- 
 tor of Munich, a Tenducci, and a 
 Mus. 
 
 " But," faid my friend, tf perceiving 
 " this to be the lamentable ftate of things, 
 ■ £ I have with true and indefatigable in- 
 " duitry applied myfelf to the restoration 
 * e of the firit Adamitical harmony; I have 
 <c felecled the moft admirable notes from 
 ff every animal, and have already acquired 
 " a tolerable proficiency in bellowing, 
 •' braying and grunting : I indeed found 
 " that the CJqudll of the peacock was two 
 tf notes too high for my voice -, but in re- 
 
 a turn, 
 
[ 3 2 ] 
 " turn, if I may fay fo without vanity, I 
 •| can infpire every hen and goiling in the 
 " yard with . tender fentiments. I have» 
 tl befides this, collected every great natu- 
 < c ral genius that I have found among the 
 (i brute creation ; I have a young he-afs 
 ** who has an admirable bafsj a young 
 ef hog, (a cafirato) who rings counter- 
 iQ tenor; and a dear little cat, whom, in 
 K honour of that illuftrious name, fo ce- 
 *« lebrated in the Doctor's tour, I call 
 " Mingotti, who has an excellent tre- 
 u ble, and a furprifing portamento. But 
 cc why waive I time in defcription ? you 
 " £hall fee my fcholars, and my fcbola" 
 
 Saying this, he led me to a large build- 
 ing, which refembled a barn, where we 
 were received by the Maeftro di Capella, 
 who was an old and deaf huntfman. The 
 firit object I beheld was a beautiful fke- 
 afs in a MeckHnburgh night-cap, who 
 brayed a folo. Her voice was one of the 
 cleareft, fweeteft, trueft, moil powerful 
 and extenfrve I ever heard. In compafs, 
 
 it 
 
[33l 
 
 it Is from Bb on the fifth fpace in the bafs, 
 to jD in alt, full fteady and equal; her 
 fhake was good, and her portamento ad- 
 mirably free from the nofe, mouth, or 
 throat. We were then entertained by a 
 duet between the Mingotti, and a large 
 raven, in the chromatic ; which grew 
 more fpirited by my friend's pulling a 
 bone out of his pocket, which he threw 
 to the performers, and thereby produced 
 a conjlifta* I then told my friend that I 
 would willingly hear the caftrato, but he 
 told me he was afraid the Caffarelli could 
 not oblige me in that particular, as he had 
 unfortunately taken cold by rolling too 
 long upon an unaired dunghill, and was 
 then adually in a courfe of fugar-candy* 
 However, he threw a turnip to encourage 
 him to exert himfelf, and I could judge 
 from what I then heard, that he is likely 
 to become a mod mafterly performer. 
 
 My friend then tied firings to the ears 
 
 *6f fix young greyhound puppies, which 
 
 he twitch'd with fo much art and judgment 
 
 F by 
 
[3+] 
 
 by means of a pully, that I think the 
 effect was equal to any viol di gamba I ever 
 heard, not excepting that of the Elector 
 of Munich. 
 
 My friend then fufpended two cats by 
 the tails, which he contrived fhould al- 
 ternately bob upon the nofes of two fuck- 
 ing pigs, who were tied by the hind -legs 
 to the floor : though I obferved thefe per- 
 formers Were, fomewhat embarafTed in 
 their manner, yet I could not but ac- 
 knowledge the effect was quite original 
 and truly theatric. 
 
 Mr. Quaver then told me that he had 
 formerly introduced fome of thefe per- 
 formers to nng at a concert, but without 
 fuccefs : and he made great complaints of 
 the unpolitenefs of the audience, which 
 he faid could fit with patience three hours 
 toliilen to the unmeaning trills of heroes 
 in hoop-petticoats, and Italian vagabonds 
 in a ftrange language, while they would 
 not beftow one half hour upon the voice 
 of nature and their brethren. Tho' I was 
 I quite 
 
[35 J 
 
 quite ignorant of the fads he alluded too, 
 yet, like Dr. Mus, I was fo partial to ta- 
 lents, wherever I found them, that I 
 could not help condoling with my kind 
 hoft upon the occafion ; and after having 
 bemoaned the degeneracy of the times, 
 and wiihed him fuccefs in his truly original 
 undertaking, which I promifed him I 
 would take due notice of in my intended 
 work, I fet forward on my journey tp 
 Brijtol. 
 
 Had I been rich, I mould have agreed 
 with a coachman, who was juft then 
 fettingout, and offered to carry me and my 
 baffoon, in the bafket, for fixteen (hillings. 
 But as riches are not always the com- 
 panions of genius, I rather chofe to take 
 my place in a coal-veuel, which was to 
 arrive at that city in three days. Here, 
 as the weather was extremely fine when I 
 fat out, I travelled very agreeably, for 
 the firfl day, and dined upon bread 
 and cheefe, and cold bacon, without 
 making any obfervations worth commu- 
 F 2 nicating 
 
[36] 
 
 nicating to the public, except that I 
 faw a man {landing upon the bank, and 
 angling for dace, notwithstanding the 
 earlinefs of the feafon. 
 
 The fecond day, as the wind fuddenly 
 changed from Weft to North- Eaft, was 
 foggy, rainy, and fo exceedingly cold, that 
 I was obliged, for want of Dr. Mus's loufy 
 blanket, to flip my legs and thighs into a 
 coal-fack ; we flopped about two o'clock 
 at Aver ley, a little village on the banks 
 of the Severn to dine; and here I cannot 
 but inform the world, that Mr. Bangor, 
 at the fign of the Goat in Boots, is an ex- 
 tremely civil and polite landlord, and has 
 no contemptible tafte in raufic. When I 
 informed him of my defign in making this 
 expedition, he very obligingly led me into 
 his hall, which was ftuck round with 
 various antique pieces of mufic, fuch as 
 Chevy Cbace, 'The Children in the Wood, 
 Three Childrenjliding on the Ice, The hifiory of 
 St. George fizz, which he kindly permitted 
 me to enrich my collection with. I begged 
 
 hard 
 
[37 3 
 hard that he would permit me to prick 
 out the notes of an incomparable whittle 
 as he performed it, which at length with 
 great • difficulty he complied with, upon 
 condition however that I mould not print 
 it. But 1 was more than all furprized 
 and charmed with his generofity, in flip- 
 ping a piece of fried cow's heel into my 
 pocket, and infixing upon treating me 
 with a dram, before I went into the cold. 
 As I walked down to the river fide, I 
 remarked a boy, who was humming the 
 tune of Tanky Doodle ; and as I knew this 
 to be an extremely popular air in fome 
 parts of America t I conjectured that this 
 part of England was originally peopled 
 from that continent. 
 
 BRISTOL. 
 
[3&] 
 
 BRISTOL. 
 
 LATE the next evening, we arrived 
 at Brijlol, 2l large and populous 
 city, more famous for its commerce, 
 manufactures and fuch trifles, than for 
 its tafte in mufic. They have but lately . 
 had a regular theatre eflablifhed there to 
 civilize and polifh the uncouth manners 
 of the difTenters, who would even have 
 fucceeded in the favage oppofition they 
 made to this falutary meafure, if the 
 bifhops had not efpoufed the caufe of the 
 fine arts ; I have little doubt, therefore, 
 that they will foon find that fC mufic is fo 
 fC combined with things facred and im- 
 tC portant, as well as with our pleafures, 
 *'* that it feems neceflary to our ex- 
 " iftence :" they will then quickly become 
 friends to organs, and next to operas. 
 As I approached the city, I was gratified 
 with feeing the battalions of the principal 
 
 militia, 
 
[ 39 J 
 
 militia, who made a moft formidable ap- 
 pearance, and marched in exact time to 
 the marrow-bones and cleavers, which 
 had an admirable effect and were ex- 
 tremely animating. I put up at the 
 Dog's Head hi the Par ridge-Pot, and 
 after powdering my wig with feme 
 flour, clipping my beard with a pair of 
 fciffars, and turning my font, 1 went to 
 wait on Signor Maiifelli, to whom I had 
 letters of recommendation. When I 
 had knocked at the door, and enquired 
 whether the Signor was within, I was 
 informed that he was, but that I could 
 not fee him, as he was then bulled in 
 performing his vocalities. This anfwer- 
 you may be fure, redoubled my curioiity, 
 and I replied, " if a poor, yet I truft, 
 <c not unknown mufician, may be judged 
 * worthy of being an unobferved ipecYator 
 ec of the Signor's meditations, I promife 
 " not to interrupt his reveries, and per- 
 ^ haps the Signor himfclf ■ will not be 
 *' difpleafed at your introducing to him- a 
 
 " Cqllionir 
 
 When 
 
[ 40 ] 
 
 When he learned that I was a mufician, 
 he bowed refpectfully, and defiring me to 
 pull off my fhoes, as he did himfelf, he 
 led me to the Signor's apartment. "When 
 we came to the door, the fervant deilred 
 me to pull off my coat, waiftcoat, and 
 wig, and creep through a hole, which he 
 mewed me at the bottom of the door, as 
 he allured me the Signor did not furTer 
 even crowned heads to approach him in 
 thefe moments of enthufiafm, without 
 taking thofe precautions; "and fir," laid he, 
 *'■ you need not think this an humiliatins: 
 '.' lituation, as I have feen many perfons of 
 Cc the firft famion, among whom were 
 " feveral pregnant ladies, fubmit to the 
 u fame ceremony." 
 
 I did not hefitate a moment to comply 
 with the cuftomary etiquette, but' drip- 
 ping myfelf to the mirt, I crept into the. 
 room with the fame awful (ilence with 
 which the antient priefls approached the 
 Tripod of their God. Having polled my- 
 felf behind a large fere en, I beheld the 
 
 Signor 
 
[ 41 ] 
 
 Signor extended on his belly, while two 
 young and beautiful ladies were gently 
 jftroaking his back with the palms 
 of their hands.. He lay for fome mi- 
 nutes penfive and filent, as if waiting 
 for the infpirations of the divinity. At 
 length, on a fudden, " his eyes were fixt, 
 " his underlip fell, and drops of ef- 
 " fervefcence diftilled from his whole 
 <f countenance" Immediately explofions 
 - of the mod mufical intonation I had ever 
 heard, iffued from behind, and enraptured 
 the whole company. After this, he fuc- 
 ceflively coughed, fneezed, hiccuped, 
 eructatsd, fqueaked and whittled in the 
 moft harmonious manner that can be 
 conceived. " Thank heaven," cried the 
 Signor, " my powers of harmony are 
 " yet undiminiihed : I (hall ftill live to 
 ct blefs the world, and polifh this brutal 
 <e nation." Saying this, he took up his 
 fiddle, and played a moft divine folo. I 
 heard him for fome time in filent ecftacy, 
 'till at length incapable of fuppreffing my 
 emotions any longer, I precipitated myfelf 
 G into 
 
[ 42 1 
 
 Into his arms 3 crying or rather blubber^ 
 ing out in imitation of the great Caffarelli^ 
 Bravo! bravijjimo I Manfelli, e Colli oni 
 che ti lo dice. The Signor feemed 
 fomewhat furprized at my abrupt in- 
 troduction, but at length, recollecting 
 himfelf, he received me with ineffable 
 politenefs. The ladies at my appearance, 
 had mrieked, and left the room, which 
 in the firfl hurry of our embraces we hacf 
 not perceived. But prefently the Signor ? 
 glancing his eye downwards, recollected 
 fiimfelf, and faid with fome warmth and 
 emphafis, f* O, fye, Signor Collioni, I 
 v took it for granted , you were one of 
 " us.'* J blumed at the imputation, and 
 faid, '* I hoped this defect would not 
 fi leffen me in his efteem, as my country 
 f< was not yet fufliciently civilized to have 
 cc adopted thecuftom; and though fome 
 * c of our prime nobility had the fpirit and 
 if tafte to lead the way, yet in the grofa 
 P| conceptions of the Englijh, there was a 
 \? certain degree of ridicule annexed tp it^ 
 
 f* which 
 
[43l 
 
 Y wHich deterred feveral men otherwise 
 ' 6f of the moft exquifite pblitenefs from 
 61 fubmitting to it." The Signor was kind 
 enough to admit my excufesi but la- 
 mented this as the greater!: bbftacle to the 
 national advancement iri the icience of 
 hiufic. However, he averred that feverai 
 Englifi young noblemen of fortune liad to 
 his knowledge undergone the operation 
 in Italy, fC and though," added he, " an 
 '* ordinary proficient may be exempted 
 *' from the practice, yet it is indifpenfibly 
 i{ necerTary for one who would fathom all 
 ci the myfteries of the art, and emulate the 
 " illuftrious names of Senefino, Farinelli^ 
 * c ¥ endued^ Sec." 
 
 I confefs I was much daggered at what 
 he faid, more efpecially as I began to en- 
 tertain fome doubts myfelf whether the 
 characters of a man and a mufician were 
 at all compatible. 
 
 I hinted to him, that I had formerly 
 
 heard, that a certain great Perfonage* 
 
 tkm Marti quam Mercurio, equally il- 
 
 G % luftrious 
 
[ 44 ] 
 luftrious for his martial and his mufical 
 talents, had adopted the practice; but as 
 the Doctor had not recorded it in his tour 
 to Potzdam, I imagined the report was 
 without foundation. 
 
 « e Ah !" faid he, " depend upon it, tho* 
 ** the Doctor has indeed omitted this 
 cc circumftance in the admirable defcrip- 
 <c tion he gives of that hero, and Dilet- 
 <c tante practifing his foffeggi at Potzdam, 
 ic yet he would never have been either the 
 " monarch, or the flutifl he is without it. 
 <c Do you think, added he, that illuftrious 
 €f philofopher could amufehimfelf focalm- 
 " \y in his clofet with fugus and adagios, 
 (( while ten thoufand Polijh widows, and 
 <c orphans, were imprecating curfes upon 
 1 the head of their unfeeling deftroyer, 
 " unlefs he had totally difengaged himfelf 
 u from every incumbrance of his fex 
 " and fpecies?" 
 
 Here the entrance of the young ladies * 
 interrupted any further converfationon the 
 fubject.Theeldeft,hisniece, who was called 
 
 Glmki- 
 
[4Sl 
 
 Gluckinella Inglefina, defired me to fingj 
 which I did in the ibftefl and mod unmanly 
 tone I could exert, that I might not again 
 offend. I afked her what her real opinion 
 of my voice was ? me anfwered me with 
 the moii perfect affability, that I acquitted 
 myfelf tolerably well conjidering; tho' 
 * c fbe thought me too ambitious of dif- 
 " playing my talent of working parts and 
 u fubjects, and added that my cantilena 
 " was often rude." 
 
 I took an opportunity when I was alone 
 with this young lady, to enquire if the 
 caftrati were much in vogue at BnjM, 
 and if that operation could be Co fafely 
 attempted on elderly gentlemen; this 
 young lady fmiled at my limplicity, and 
 allured me that the operation was fafe and 
 eafy, and not fo painful as to acquire any 
 degree of refolution, and that the caftrati 
 were the favourites of the ladies, both of 
 the married and unmarried. She advifed 
 me by all means to undergo the operation 
 as the Doctor had done in Italy, tho' his 
 excefs of modefty prevented him from 
 
 boa/ling 
 
[46 j 
 
 fcoafting of it in his excellent treatife; 
 She added, that fhe could not with fafety 
 love me, unlefs I would fubmit to this for 
 her fake. 
 
 This declaration from a young lady for 
 whom I now perceived I had imbibed the 
 moft ardent affection^ gave me great un- 
 eafinefs ; that affection however was purely 
 platonic and fpiritual, for perfonal charms 
 ilie had no more to boaffc of, that ever I 
 difcovered, than Mingotti herfelf. Befides? 
 the difadvaritage of a contortion in the 
 ogle, vulgarly called a fquint of the eye,; 
 and a very long red nofe^ fhe had a 
 mouth, which tho' it opened from ear 
 to ear, difcovered to the eye nothing 
 but the fad remains of a £ct of ebony teeth i 
 which more refembled the ruins of an old 
 eathedral^ than the polifhed ivory which 
 adorns the comic mouth^of the celebrated 
 Mrs. Ab-ngt-n. There was yet another 
 circumftance to difguft the fenfualift, and 
 deter him from approaching this Syreri 
 with an improper familiarity; and that 
 was the great offenfivenefs of her breathy 
 
 which 
 
L 47 1 
 which was fo violent, that any perfon i|ot 
 ei determined" like me " to hear, fee," and 
 fmell " nothing but mufic," might have 
 thought it hardly atoned for by the fweetnefs 
 of her voice. Yet none of thefe circum- 
 stances damped the ardor of my fpiritual 
 attachment, founded, as it was, upoq. 
 a folid bafis, the love of fong j — it 
 was embodied harmony, the tuneful 
 foul which I adored. The reader who 
 is unacquainted with the difference be- 
 tween a grofs fenfual paflion, and a 
 fublime, harmonic fympathy, may per- 
 haps be furprized when I tell him, that 
 while I was thus devoted to the divine 
 Gluckinella, I was at the fame time perfo- 
 nally captivated by the corporeal attractions 
 of a little black-ey'd Gypfy, the wife of a 
 barber in the town, who often fhaved 
 me for a tune ; yet did not thefe groffer 
 feelings the lead impair or abate my 
 mufical platonic love. I might perhaps 
 be excufed, were I to Conceal the progrefs 
 and iffue of thefe different amours ; but 
 
 they 
 
[48] 
 
 they are fo intimately blended wth the 
 fcientific part of my work, and were at- 
 tended with fuch important confequences 
 to myfelf in my profeflional capacity, 
 that I doubt not the narration will prove of 
 great utility to my brethren. For it was no 
 common temptation that deluded me; tho' 
 Mrs. Sbarp-fet was abundantly handfome, 
 I could have refitted " the blandifhments 
 of beauty," if a defire of making dangerous 
 experiments upon the power and effects of 
 mufic upon female paflion had not feized 
 my brain. Fori had taken notice, that 
 the imagination of this young woman 
 was exceedingly lively and far out-ftripped 
 her hufband's, who was a plain dull man 
 with little fire or enthufiafm in his com- 
 
 pofitiom I plainly perceived this in all 
 her geftures and movements, but when I 
 fung fome tender fentimental air, her in- 
 voluntary %hs, blufhes, and languid at- 
 titude, betrayed too plainly the irritability 
 of her nervs, and that fine fufceptibility 
 of foft emotions with which nature has 
 
 endowed 
 
t 49 1 
 
 endowed the fa. No wonder that in a 
 rude, uncultivated ftate of nature as 1 then 
 was, I caught the fubtle fire from her 
 contagious eyes. Ah! how often did I 
 iing the fweet pajfi&n of Love without 
 once thinking of my dear Gluckinella; how 
 often did fhe encore my O how pleajing 'tis 
 to pleafe, without the flighted: recollection 
 of her abfent barber ! Madly determined 
 to purfue the fatal experiment, and ob- 
 ferve the full effects of my art ; I next 
 fung " Hajie, let us rove, to the IJland of 
 " Love", at which Mrs. Sharpfet was 
 greatly agitated and danced about the 
 rooim Then I played a rapturous volun- 
 tary " produced in the happy moments of 
 " effervefcence when my reafon was lefs 
 " powerful than my feeling -," and at 
 length I proceeded to fuch excels of tem- 
 erity, as to tune up Geho Dobbin, Mur- 
 doch O'Blaney, and feveral other inflam- 
 matory compoiitions; and rinding my 
 miftrefs " attentive, and in a difpofition 
 " to be pleafed, I became animated to 
 H that 
 
[5°] 
 (C that true pitch of enthufiafm, which 
 " from the ardor of the fire within, 
 (t is communicated to others and fets all 
 " around in a blaze, fo that the con- 
 " tention between the performer and 
 " the hearer was only who mould pleafe 
 " or who fhould applaud the molt, 
 tC till at length, not contented with 
 " mewing her approbation by coughing, 
 " hemming, and blowing the nofe" me 
 t( expreffed rapture in a manner peculiar 
 " to herfelf, and feemed to agonize with 
 t{ pleafure too great for thre aching 
 " fenfe !" for at length, overpowered by 
 my quirking and quavering, and tran- 
 fported beyond all the bounds of pru- 
 dence, Mrs. Sbarpfet on a fudden leap- 
 ed into my arms, hung round my, 
 neck, and devoured me with eager 
 kiiTes, fuch as I never tailed before 
 or fince. What man, what uhemafcu- 
 lated god cculd have withiiood fuch 
 potent fnares? Ah! my ferene Gluckinella 
 had'fl thou been there, thefe tumults had 
 a&l fub'fided, the devil had not got in tire 
 
 poflemon 
 
pofleiHon of my mind, voice and inftru- 
 ment, nor had I needed the painful ope- 
 ration of the barber's avenging fleel to 
 bring my wandering fpirits back to reafon : 
 < — for foon, and in the midft of our illicit 
 joys, the door of the chamber was forced 
 
 open, and in rufhed Mr. Sbarpfet.* 
 
 Difcordant oaths and curfes, and the 
 look and voice of a Fury making an 
 incantation to awake the dead, befpoke 
 the injured hufhand, and feared us from 
 the bed. He retired a moment to 
 fetch the inftrument of his revenge. 
 Mrs. Sharpfet efcaped, but in an in- 
 ftant I faw him return whetting his 
 keeneft razor; and concluding, that he 
 meant to cut my throat upon the fpot, 
 I fell down at his feet and in an agony 
 of fear and penitence, roared out fuch a 
 Miserere, as was never heard at the 
 Pope's chapel in PaJ/ton-week. Alas ! 
 how did I with for the genius of a Gluck t 
 (i to paint my difficult fituation occafioned 
 H 2 " by 
 
[ 52 ] 
 
 «' by complicated mifery, and the tern- 
 " pefluous fury of unbridled paffions!" 
 But Allegri himfelf, had he chanted his 
 own Miserere, could not have moved the 
 fhaver's unrelenting foul, or foothed his 
 injured honour up in arms, and demand- 
 ing its victim ! I tried a fofter ftrain, and 
 fang in melting mood, * c Let not rage thy 
 " Bofom firing, pity s fofter claim remove? 
 Sec. but it was all one : flill {trapped he his 
 inexorable razor, humming out a fong 
 of Bravura, the fubjedr. of which was 
 the caflration of the devil by a baker; 
 (which, by the bye, is a very curious ftory, 
 whofe authenticity I mull: enquire into 
 farther at my leifure.) I immediately 
 augured my approaching deitiny from the 
 burden of this fong; and the Cornuto 
 prefently gave me to underfland that my 
 conjecture was well founded. Having 
 been till now in a cold-fweat, and corporal 
 fear of my life, I congratulated myfelf on 
 this exchange of punifhment, as a fort of 
 reprieve, and considering that I had fome 
 
 time 
 
L53] 
 
 time fince refolved, like another Grqffetto, 
 
 to undergo the operation whenever I found 
 
 myfelf bold enough for fuch a voluntary 
 
 facrifice ; I plucked up courage, and with 
 
 great compofure told the barber, that a 
 
 guilty confeience was a greater torment to 
 
 me than any he could devife; but that to 
 
 expiate the crime I had committed, andap- 
 
 peafe the anger of heaven, and the honefl 
 
 man whom I had fo deeply offended, I 
 
 would patiently fubmit to fuffer the 
 
 righteous fentence which his vengeance 
 
 meditated on the peccant part. The 
 
 enraged tonfor took me at my word. 
 ********* 
 
 The firft thing that came into my thoughts 
 after I awoke from the fainting fit, into 
 which the paroxifm of pain had thrown 
 me, was to try my voice in its improved 
 flate. I accordingly fung A Dawn of 
 Hope my Soul revives, and found my 
 powers wonderfully improved, and my 
 execution delicate, interefting, and full 
 of effects. " Ho, ho," cries the barber, " I 
 i *' am 
 
[54] 
 '« am glad to find you arc fo merry," and 
 refumed his old tune of the baker and the 
 devil. I told him I thought it unkind in 
 him to infult me, and intreated him 
 to convey me home, which he very readily 
 confented to do, and foon afterwards be- 
 gan to apologize for the effects of his 
 rage, hoping I would confider the nature 
 of the provocation, and not attempt to 
 take the law of him, I anfwered, that 
 upon condition he would freely pardon 
 his wife, whofe fault was venial, as her 
 virtue had fallen a facrifice to the power 
 of harmony, I would decline any hoflile 
 proceedings againft him on my own ac- 
 count, with which condition he appeared 
 fatisfied, and we parted. — I was brought 
 home on a mule, on which I rode fide- 
 ways 5 and as foon as I alighted at Signor 
 Manfellis I fent for him into my chamber, 
 and accoftedhim as a he approached, with 
 the following air, in finging which I 
 exerted all my newly-acquired powers. 
 
 Bear 
 
[ 55 I " 
 
 Bear, bear me on afudden, 
 
 ' Some kind fir oke offniling chance I 
 From this land of beef and pudding, 
 To dear Italy or France ! 
 
 1 amfick to the foul, 
 Politics andfea coaly 
 So give one the vapours, 
 Their curfcd news-papers, 
 
 Their mobbing^ 
 
 Stock-jobbing 
 
 Are horrors to me ; 
 
 1 ivijh the whole ifland were funk in 
 the fea. 
 
 Daring my performance, the Signor ap- 
 peared perfe&ly aftonitTied, and at length 
 feizing my hand with rapture, * c welcome/* 
 he cried, <e O fon of harmony ! it cannot 
 ft be longer difguiled, you are a brother— 
 '« you are one of us" — then expatiating 
 on the dignity and importance of the 
 order of cajlrati, he derired me, if not 
 too much exhaufted, to ring again his 
 favourite air, which when I had done 
 
 he 
 
[ 56] 
 he cried out with tranfport $ — ee nee 'vox 4 
 u hominem fonat ! I can hardly believe 
 " it is the fame pipe ! fuch a volume of 
 ** voice, fuch an open and perfect {hake ! 
 €e fuch light and {hade! never was voice 
 " lefs cloudy I fuch clearnefs, brilliancy, 
 <l neatnefs, expreffion, embellimment, in- 
 " tonatlon, firmnefs, modulation, fmooth- 
 " nefs and elegance ! and then your por~ 
 " tamenio is as round and tight as a 
 "portmanteau, and you take appogiatura, 
 te as eaiily as a body would take a pinch 
 "offnuff!"— 
 
 I was greatly flattered by thefe en- 
 comiums, but begged he would forbear 
 and fuffer me to retire to my chamber, 
 for the fake of neceffary refremment and 
 reft. He immediately complied, andfent up 
 to me Signor Sougelder, an eminent furgeon 
 
 in the neighbourhood, and an agreeable 
 performer on the Eng/i/b horn -, who 
 having applied an excellent dreffing to 
 my wound left me to fleep, and " thus 
 < 5 ended this bufy and important day, in 
 
 " which 
 
is-} 
 
 ** which fo much was faid, and donej 
 
 * that it feemed to contain the events of a 
 * c much longer period; and I coul$ hardly 
 " perfuade-myfelf, upon recollecting the 
 " feveral incidents, that they had all hap- 
 «' pened in about the fpace of twelve 
 " hours." By the kind and fkilful offices 
 of Signor Sougelder, I was foon reftored to 
 my health and fpirits 9 and my adorable 
 Signora Gluckinelli in a few days paid ma 
 a vifit of congratulation, which (he re- 
 peated every day during my recovery. It 
 was in fome of thefe delightful interviews 
 I difcovered how deep a theorift ihe 
 was, and how learned in the fcience of 
 found. Among other difcoveries and 
 obfervations which lhe communicated to 
 hie, and which I treafure up, and meari 
 to preferve for the benefit of future ages, 
 me affured me that it was li practicable 
 ** with time and patience to give a fhake 
 is where nature has denied It 5 that fhe 
 ".thought, the make ruined ninety-nine 
 
 * times out of a hundred by too much 
 
 I * c im* 
 
I 5§ ] 
 
 ff impatience and precipitation, both iq 
 C£ the mafler and fcholar, and that many 
 " who can execute parYages which require 
 cc the fame motion q£ the larynx as the make, 
 8 have notwithstanding never acquired 
 "one"- — (i There is; no accounting for 
 il this," added that illuftrious young lady, 
 with a figh, " but from the neglect of 
 f f the matter to ftudy nature, and avail 
 t- himfelf of thefe parTages, which by 
 f? continuity would become real makes." 
 
 During my confinement to my cham- 
 ber^ I have had leifure to extract the 
 foregoing obfervations, anecdotes, and 
 adventures from my journal, and which 
 I prefent to the world as the firfl hints of 
 my undertaking. If they tend in any 
 ihape to promote the ftudy and prac- 
 tice of mufic in this country, and by 
 that means lefTen our national reproach 
 of being Tbefavages of Europe, immerfed 
 in politics, philoibphy, metaphyncs, ma- 
 thematics, and other four and abftrufe 
 (peculations, I mall have gained my 
 
 end, 
 
[59] 
 end, and Oiall congratulate myfelf oi| 
 having in fome humble degree affifted the 
 generous efforts of the great mufical 
 Doctor, and the governors of the Foundling 
 Hofpital, to poliih and Italianize the 
 genius, tafte, and manners of the Englijh 
 nation. 
 
 I (hall trefpafs on the reader's patience 
 but one moment longer, to inform him 
 that asfoon as I had perfectly recovered my 
 health, Signor Manfelli inftituted a grand 
 Fete Cbampetre to celebrate what he was 
 pleafed to call my vidtory over the flefh 
 and the devil ; and to crown the whole, 
 the idol of my foul, the fair Gluckinella, 
 was that day pleafed to condefcend pub- 
 licly to avow her platonic harmonic paflion 
 for me j and to promife me in the moft 
 endearing manner, that if ever me entered 
 into the holy ftate of matrimony, I mould 
 be her Cecisbeo. 
 
 THE END. 
 
Speedily will be publijhed* 
 An Enquire into the Present State 
 
 OF THE 
 
 MUSIC of the SPHERES* 
 
 To which will be prefixed* 
 
 The Overture to the laftEcLiPSE of the Moon; 
 
 And, a Differtation on the Structure and Ufc 
 
 o f f ir *h e 
 
 Celestial Bow, commonly called the Rain-Bo w. 
 
 1 
 
 
 By JOEL COLLIER, 
 
 Organift. 
 
 Avia Pieridum perago Uca nullius ante 
 Tritafolo. » 
 
 r . r . S f 
 
 t-UCR. 
 
 %» Price to Subferibers, Two Guineas ; Non- 
 Subfcribers Three Guineas and an Half, 
 

 
 ; •■.-•■■:.