M\n .mm ARENT °UVEANOLiV£TOl UNIVERSITY OF N.C. AT CHAPEL HILL 00022245330 THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA From the Library of GERTRUDE WEIL 1879-1971 Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2012 with funding from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill http://www.archive.org/details/samanthaatworldsoll SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR c V The minute we passed the gate we wuz overwhelmed with the unspeakable aspect of the buildix's. See page 226. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR BY JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE (marietta holley) ILLUSTRATED BY BARON C. DE GRIMM Fiftieth Thousand PRINTED IN THE UNITED ST A TES *Ccto=¥orfc FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY London and Toronto «8 9 3 Copyright, 1893, by the FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY. [Registered at Stationer's Hall, London, England.] TO WHO HAS JEST SAILED OUT AND DISCOVERED WOMAN. AND TO THE SECT DISCOVERED THIS BOOK IS DEDICA TED. PREFACE. It wuz a beautiful evenin' in Jonesville, and the World. The Earth wuz a-settin' peaceful and serene under the glowin' light of a full moon and some stars, and I sot jest as peaceful and calm under the meller light of our hangin' lamp and the blue radi- ance of my companion's two orbs. Two arm-chairs covered with handsome buff copper-plate w r uz drawed up on each side of the round table, that had a cheerful spread on't, and a basket of meller apples and pears. Dick Swiveller, our big striped pussy-cat (Thomas J. named him), lay stretched out in luxurious ease on his cushion, a-watchin' with dignified indulgence the gambollin' of our little pup dog. He is young yet, and Dick looked lenient on the innocent ca- perin's of youth. Dick is very wise. The firelight sparkled on the clean hearth, the lamplight gleamed down onto my needles as I sot peaceful a-seamin' two and two, and the same radi- ance rested lovin'lv on the shinin' bald head of my pardner as he sot a-readin' his favorite production, the World. All wuz relapsted into silence, all wuz peace, till all to once my pardner dropped his paper, and sez he — - " Samantha, why not write a book on't ?" It started me, comin' so onexpected onto me, and specially sence he wuz always so sot aginst my swingin' out in Literatoor. I dropped two or three stitches in my inward agitation, but instinctively I catched holt of my dignity, and kep calm on the outside. And sez I, "Write a book on what, Josiah Allen ?" " Oh, about the World's Fair !" sez he. "Wall," sez I, with a deep sithe, " I had thought on't, but I'd kinder dreaded the job." And he went on : " You know," sez he, " that We wrote one about the other big Fair, and if We don't do as well by this one it'll make trouble," sez he. " We !" sez I in my own mind, and in witherin' axents, but I kep calm on the outside, and he went on — " Our book," sez he, " that Wc wrote on the other big Fair in Filadelfy, I spoze wuz thought as much on and wuz as popular for family readin' as ever a President's message wuz ; and after payin' at- PREFACE. ix tention to that as We did, We hadn't ort to slight this one. We can't afford to," sez he. "Can't afford to ?" sez I dreamily. " No ; We can't afford to," sez he, " and keep Our present popularity. Now, there's every chance, so fur as I can see, for me to be elected Path-Master, and the high position of Salesman of the Jonesville Cheese Factory has been as good as offered to me agin this year. It is because We are popular," sez he, " that I have these positions of trust and honor held out to me. We have wrote books that have took, Samantha. Now, what would be the result if We should slight Columbus and turn Our backs onto America in this crisis of her history ? It would be simply ruinous to Our reputation and my official as- pirations. Everybody would be mad, and kick, from the President down. More'n as likely as not I should never hold another office in Jonesville. Cheese would be sold right over my head by I know not who. I should be ordered out to work on the road like a dog by Ury jest as like as not. I've been a-settin' here and turnin' it over in my mind ; and though, as you say, I hain't always favored the idee of writin', still at the present time I believe We'd better write the book. There's ink in the house, hain't there ?" sez he anxiously. " Yes," sez I. " And paper ?" sez he. Agin I sez, " Yes." "Wall, then, when there's ink and paper, what's to hender Our writin' it ?" " Our !" " We !" i\gin them words entered ray soul like lead arrows and gaulded me, but agin I looked up, and the clear light of affection that shone from my pardner's eyes melted them arrows, and I suffered and wuz calm. But anon I sez — " Don't great emotions rise up in your soul, Josiah Allen, when you think of Columbus and the World's work ? Don't the mighty waves of the past and the future dash up aginst your heart when you think of Christopher, and what he found, and what is behind this nation, and what is in front of it, a-bagonin' it onwards ?" " No," sez he calmly ; " I look at it with the eye of a business man, and with that eye," sez he, " I say less write the book." He ceased his remarks, and agin silence rained in the room. But to me the silence wuz filled with voices that he couldn't hear— deep, prophetic voices that shook my soul. Eyes whose light the dust fell on four hundred years ago shone agin on me in that quiet room in Jonesville, and hanted me. Heroic hands that wuz clay centuries ago bagoned to me to foller PREFACE. XI 'em where they led me. And so on down through the centuries the viewless hosts passed before me and gin me the silent countersign to let me pass into their ranks and jine the army. And then, away out into the future, the Shadow Host defiled — fur off, fur off — into the age of Freedom, and Justice, and Perfect rights for man and woman, Love, Joy, Peace. Josiah didn't see none of these performances. No ; two pardners may set side by side, and yet worlds lay between 'em. He wuz agin immersed in his ambitious reveries. I didn't tell him the heft or the size of my emo- tions as I mentally tackled the job he proposed to me — there wuzn't no use on't. I only sez, as I looked up at him over my specs— "Josiah, We will write the book." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. CHAPTER I. HRISTOPHER COLUMBUS has always been a objeet of extreme interest and admiration to me ever sence I first read about him in my old Olney's Gography, up to the time when I hearn he wuz a-goin' to be eelebrated in Chicago. 1 always looked up to Chris- topher, I always admired him, and in a modest and meetin'-house sense, I will say boldly and with no fear of Josiah before my eyes that I loved him. Havin' such feelin's for Christopher Columbus, as I had, and havin' such feelin's for New Discover- ers, do you spoze I wuz a-goin' to have a celebra- tion gin for him, and also for us as bein' discovered by him, without attendin' to it ? No, indeed ! I made calculations ahead from 2 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. the very first minute it wuz spoke on, to attend to it. And feelin' as I did — all wrought up on the sub- ject of Christopher Columbus — it wuz a coincer- dence singular enough to skair anybody almost to death — to think that right on the very day Christo- pher discovered America, and us (only 400 years later), and on the very day that I commenced the fine shirt that Josiah wuz a-goin' to wear to Chica- go to celebrate him in — That very Friday, if you'll believe me, Christo- pher Columbus walked right into our kitchen at Jonesville — and discovered me. Yes, Christopher Columbus Allen, a relative I never had seen, come to Jonesville and our house on his way to the World's Fair. Jest to think on't — Christopher Columbus Allen, who had passed his hull life up in Maine, and then descended down onto us at such a time as this, when all the relations in Jonesville wuz jest riz up about the doin's of that great namesake of hisen — And the gussets wuz even then a-bein' cut out and sewed on to the shirt that wuz a-goin' to encompass Josiah Allen about as he went to Chicago to cele- brate him — That then, on that Friday, p.m., about the time of *Cz*§ n*w»7 If you'll believe me, Christopher Columbus Allen walked right into our kitchen— and discovered me. 4 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. day that the Injuns wuz a-kneelin' to the first Christopher, to think that Josiah Allen should walk in the new Columbus into our kitchen — why, I don't spoze a more singular and coincidin' circumstance ever happened before durin' the hull course of time. The only incident that mellered it down any and made it a little less miracalous wuz the fact that he never had been called by his full name. He always has been, is now, and I spoze always will be called Krit — Krit Allen. But still it wuz — in spite of thismellerin' and ame- lioratin' circumstance — strikin' and skairful enough to fill me with or. He wuz a double and twisted relation, as you may say, bein' related to us on both our own sides, Josi- ah's and mine. But I had never sot eyes on him till that day, though I well remember visitin' his parents, who lived then in the outskirts of Loontown — good re- spectable Methodist Epospical people — and runners of a cheese factory at that time. Tryphenia Smith, relation on my side, married to Ezra Allen, relation on Josiah's side. I remember that I went there on a visit with my mother at a very early period of my existence. I hadn't existed at that time more'n nine years, if I SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 5 had that. We staid there on a stiddy stretch for a week ; that wuz jest before they moved up to Maine. Uncle Ezra had a splendid chance offered him there, and he fell in with it. She wuz a dretful good creeter, Aunt Tryphenia wuz, and greatly beloved by the relations on his side, as well as hern. Though, as is nateral with relations, she had to be run by 'em more or less, and found fault with. Some thought her nose wuz too long. Some on 'em thought she wuz too religious, and some on 'em thought she wuzn't religious enough. Some on 'em thought she wuzn't sot enough on the creeds, and some thought she wuz too rigid. But, howsumever, pretty nigh all the Aliens and Smiths jest doted on her. There wuz one incident that jest impressed itself on my memory in connection with that visit, and I don't spoze I shall ever forgit it ; it stands to reason that I should before now, if I ever wuz a-goin' to. It took place at family prayers, which they held regular at Uncle Ezra's. It wuz right in the hite of sugarin'. They had more'n two hundred maple trees, and they had tapped 'em all, and they had run free, and they had to sugar off every day, and sometimes twice a day. 6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. That mornin' they had a big kettle of maple syrup over the stove, and Unele Ezra and Aunt Tryphenia and mother wuz all a-kneelin' down pretty nigh to the stove. It wuz a eold mornin', and I wuz a-settin' with my little legs a-hangin' off the chair a-watchin' things, not at that age bein' particular interested in religion. Uncle Ezra made a long prayer, a tegus one, it seemed to me ; it wuz so long that the kettle of sugar had het up fearful, and I see with deep anxiety that it wuz a-mountin' up most to the top of the kettle. Of course I dassent move to open the stove door, or stir it down, or anything— no, I dassent make a move of any kind or a mite of noise in prayer time. So I sot demute, but in deep anxiety, a-watchin' it sizzle up higher and higher and then down agin, as is the way of syrup, but each time a sizzlin' up a little higher. Wall, finally Uncle Ezra got through with his prayer, and dear good Aunt Tryphenia begun hern. She spoke dretful kinder moderate, but religious and good as anything could be. I well remember what it wuz she wuz sayin' — "O Lord, let us be tried as by fire and not be move*d" — T remember she said move'd instead of SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 7 moved, which wuz impressive to me, never havin' hearn it pronounced that way before. And jest as she said this overwent the sugar onto the stove, and Aunt Tryphenia and Uncle Ezra jest jumped right up and went and lifted the kettle offen the stove. I remember well how kinder bewildered and curious mother looked when she opened her eyes and see that the prayer wuz broke right short off. Aunt Tryphenia looked meachin', and Uncle Ezra put his hat right on and went out to the barn. It wuz dretful embarrissin' to him and Aunt Tryphenia. But then I don't know as they could have helped it. I remember hearin' Father and Mother arguin' about it. Father thought she done right, but Mother wuz kinder of the opinion that she ort to have run the prayer right on and let the sugar spile if necessary. But I remember Father's arguin' that he didn't be- lieve her prayer would have been very lucid or fervent, with all that batch of sugar a-sizzlin' and a-burnin' right by the side of her. I remember that he said that a prayer wouldn't be apt to ascend much higher than where one's hopes and thoughts wuz. and he didn't believe it would pfo 8 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. up much higher than that kettle. (The stove wuz the common height, not over four feet.) But Mother held to her own opinion, and so did a good many of the relations, mostly females. It wuz talked over quite a good deal amongst the Smiths. The wimmen all blamed Tryphenia more or less. The men mostly approved of savin' the sugar. But good land ! how I am eppisodin', and to resoom and go on. As I say, it wuz jest after this that Uncle Ezra's folks moved up to Maine, Christopher Columbus bein' still onborn for years and years. But bein' born in due time, or rather as I may say out of due time, for Uncle Ezra and Aunt Try- phenia had been married over twenty years before they had a child, and then they branched out and had two, and then stopped — But bein' born at last and growin' up to be a good-lookin' young man and well-to-do in the world, he come out to Jonesville on business and also to foller up the ties of relationship that wuz stretched out acrost hill and dale clear from Maine to Jones- ville. Strange ties, hain't they ? that are so little that they are invisible to the naked eye, or spectacles, or SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 9 the keenest microscope, and yet are so strong and lastin' that the strongest sledge-hammer can't break 'em or even make a dent into 'em. And old Time himself, that crumbles stun work and mountains, can't seem to make any impression on 'em. Curious, hain't it ? But to leave moralizin' and to resoom, it was on Friday, p. m., that he arrove at our home. I see a good-lookin' young chap a-comin' up the path from the front gate with my Josiah, and I hastily but firmly turned mv apron the other side out — -I had been windin' some blue yarn that day for some socks for my Josiah, and had colored it a little — it wuz a white apron — and then I waited middlin' serene till he come in with him. And lo ! and behold ! Josiah introduced him as Christopher Columbus Allen, my own cousin on my own side, and also on hisen. He wuz a very good-lookin' chap, some older than Thomas Jefferson, and I do declare if he didn't look some like him, which wouldn't be nothin' aginst the law, or aginst reason, bein' that they wuz related to each other. I wuz glad enough to see him, and I inquired after the relations with considerable interest, and some affection (not such an awful sight, never IO SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. havin' seen 'em much, but a little, jest about enough). And then I learnt with some sadness that his father and mother had passed away not long before that, and that his sister Isabelle wuz not over well. And there wuz another coincerdence that struck aginst me almost hard enough to knock me down. Isabelle ! jest think on't, when my mind wuz on a perfect strain about Isabelle Casteel. Columbus and Isabelle ! — the idee ! Why, my reason almost tottered on its throne under my recent best head-dress, when I hearn him speak the name. Christopher Columbus a tell in' me about Isabelle — I declare I wuz that wrought up that I expected every minute to hear him tell me somethin' about Ferdinand ; but I do believe that I should have broke down under that. But it wuz all explained out to me afterwards by another relation that come onto us onexpected shortly afterwards. It seemed that Uncle Ezra and Aunt Tryphenia, after they went to Maine, moved into a sort of a new place, where it wuz dretful lonesome. They lost every book they had, owin' to a axident 12 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. on their journey, and the only book their nighest neighbor had wuz the life of Queen Isabelle. And so Aunt Tryphenia for years wuz, as you may say, jest saturated with that book. And she named her two children, born durin' that time of saturation, Christopher Columbus and Isabelle. And I pre- soom if she had had another, she would have named it King Ferdinand. Though I hain't sure of this — you can't be postive certain of any such thing as this. Besides it might have been born a girl onbe- known to her. But I know that she never washed them children with anything but Casteel soap, and she talked sights and sights about Spain and things. So I hearn from Uncle Jered Smith, who visited them while he wuz up on a tower through Maine, a-sellin' balsam of pine for the lungs. Wall, Isabelle had a sort of a runnin' down, so Krit said. He begged us to call him that — said that all his mates at school called him so. He had been educated quite high. Had been to deestrick school sights, and then to a 'Cademy and College. He had kinder worked his way up, so I found out, and so had Isabelle. She had graduated from a Young Woman's College, taught school to earn her money, and then SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 1 3 went to school as long as that would last, and then would set out and teach agin, and then go agin and then taught, and then went. She wuz younger than Christopher, but he owned up to me that it wuz her example that had rousted him up to exert himself. She wuz awful ambitious, Isabelle wuz. She wuz smart as she could be, and had a feelin' that she wanted to be sunthin' in the World. But then the old folks wuz took down sick and helpless, and one of the children had to stay to home. And Isabelle staid, and sent Krit out into the World. She sold her jewels of Ambition and Happiness, and gin him the avails of them. She staid to home with the old folks — kinder peevish and fretful, Krit said they wuz, too — and let him go a-sailin' out on the broad ocean of life ; she had trimmed her own sails in such hope, but had to curb 'em in now and lower the topmast You have to reef your sails considerable when you are a-sailin' round in a small bedroom between two beds of sickness (asthma and inflammatory rheu- matiz). You have to haul 'em in, and take down the fTyin' penneri of. Hope and Asperation, and mount up the lamp of Duty and Meekness for a H SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR figger-head, instead of the glowin' face of Proud Endeavor. But them lamps give a dretful meller, soft light, when they are well mounted up, and firm sot. The light on 'em hain't to be compared to any other light on sea or on shore. It wrops 'em round so serene and glowin' that walks in it. It rests on their mild forwards in a sort of a halo that shines off on the hard things of this life and makes 'em endurable, takes the edge kinder off of the hardest, keen- est sufferin's, and goes before 'em throwin' a light over the deep waters that must be passed, and sort o' melts in and loses itself in the inefrible radiance that streams out from acrost the other side. It is a curious light and a beautiful one. And Isabelle jest journeyed in its full radiance. Wall, Isabelle would do what she sot out to do, you could see that by her face. Krit had brought her photograph with him — he thought his eyes of her — and I liked her looks first rate. " Isabelle staid, and sent Krit out into the world. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 15 It wuz a beautiful face, with more than beauty in it too. It wuz inteligent and serene, with the serenity of the sweet soul within. And it had a look deep down in the eyes, a sort of a shadow that is got by passin' through the Valley of Sorrow. I hearn afterwards what that look meant. Isabelle had been engaged to a smart, well-meanin' chap, Tom Freeman by name, not over and above rich, and one that had his own duties to attend to. Two helpless aged ones, and two little nieces to took care on, and nobody but himself to earn the money to do it with. The little nieces' Pa had gone to California after his wife's death— and hadn't been hearn from sence. The little children had been left with their grand- parents and Uncle Tom to stay till their Pa got back. And as he didn't git back, of course they kept on a-stayin', and had to be took care on. They wuz bright little creeters, and the very apples of their eyes. But they cost money, and they cost love, and Tom had to give it, for they lost what little property they had about this time — and the feeble Grandma couldn't do much, and the Grandpa died not long after the eppisode I am about to relate. So it all devolved onto Tom. And Tom riz up \6 SAMANTHA AT J 1 1 K WORLD'S FAIR. to his duties nobly, though it wuz with a sad heart, as wuz spozed, for Isabelle, when she see what had come onto him to do, wouldn't hold him to his en- gagement — she insisted on his bein' free. I spoze she thought she wouldn't burden him with two more helpless ones, and then mebby she thought the two spans wouldn't mate very well. And most probable they would have been a pretty cross match. (I mean, that is, a sort of a melancholy, down-sperited yoke, and if anybody laughs at it, I would wish 'em to laugh in a sort of a mournful way.) Wall, Tom Freeman, after Isabelle sot him free, bein' partly mad and partly heartbroken, as is the way of men who are deep in love, and want their way, but anyway wantin' to keep out of the sight of the one who, if he couldn't have her for his own, he wanted to forgit — he packed up bag and baggage and went West. Isabelle wouldn't correspond with him, so she told him in that last hour — still and calm on the outside, and her heart a-bleedin' on the inside, I dare presoom to say ; no, she wanted him to feel free. What creeters, what creeters wimmen be for makin' martyrs of themselves, and burnt sacrifices — SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 1 7 sometimes I most think they enjoy it, and then agin I don't know ! But Isabelle acted from a sense of duty, for she jest worshipped the ground Tom Freeman walked on, so everybody knew, and so she bid adieu to Tom and Happiness, and lived on. Wall, one of 'em must stay at home with the old folks, either she or Christopher Columbus. And when a man and a woman love each other as Isabelle and Krit did, when wuz it ever the case but what if there wuz any sacrificin' to do the woman wuz the one to do it. It is her nater, and I don't know but a real true woman takes as much comfort in bein' sort o' onhappy for the sake of some one she loves, as she would in swingin' right out and a-enjoyin' herself first rate. A woman who really loves anything has the mak- in' of a first-class martyr in her. And though she may not be ever tied to a stake, and gridirons be fur removed from her, still she has a sort of a silent hankerin' or aptitude for martrydom. That is, she would fur rather be onhappy herself than to have the beloved object wretched. And if either of 'em has got to face trouble and privation, why she is the one that stands ready to face 'em. 1 8 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. So Isabelle sent Krit off into the great world to conquer it if possible. And Krit, as the nater of man is, felt that he would ruther branch and work his way along through the World, and work hard and venter and dare and try to conquer fortune, than to set round and endure and suffer and be calm. Men are not, although they are likely creeters and I wish 'em well, yet truth compels me to say that they are not very much gin to follerin' this text, " To suffer and be calm." No, they had ruther rampage round and kill the lions in the way than to camp down in front of 'em and try to subdue 'em with kindness and long suf- ferin'. Krit, as the nateral nater of man is, felt that he could and would earn a good place in the World, win it with hard work, and then lift Isabelle up on- to the high platform by the side of him. Though whether he had made any plans as how he wuz a-goin' to hist up the two feeble old invalids, that I can't state, not knowin'. But Isabelle, he did lay out to do well by her, thinkin' as he did such a amazin' lot of her, and knowin' how she gin up her own ambitious hopes for his sake, and knowin' well, though he didn't SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 1 9 really feel free to interfere, how she had signed the death-warrant to her own happiness when she parted with Tom Freeman. But so it wuz. Wall, Krit wouldn't have to lift up the old folks onto any worldly hite, for the Lord took 'em up into His own habitation, higher I spoze than any earthly mount. About six months before Krit come to Jonesville, they both passed away most at the same time, and wuz buried in one grave. Wall, we all on us in Jonesville thought a sight of Krit before he had been with us a week. He had come partly to see a man in Jonesville on par- ticular business, and partly to see us. He wuz a civil engineer, jest as civil and polite a one as I ever laid eyes on, and wuz a-doin' well, but Thomas Jef- ferson thought he could help him to a still better place and position. Thomas J. is very popular in Jonesville. He is doin' a big business all over the county, and is very influential. Wall, Krit's business bid fair to keep him for some time in Jonesville and the vicinity, and as he see that Josiah Allen and I wuza-makin' preperations to go to the World's Fair — and bein' warmly pursuaded by us to that effect, he concluded to stay and accom- pany us thither. The idee wuz very agreeable to us. 20 SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. He said his sister Isabelle, after she wuz a little recooperated from her grief for the old folks, and recovered a little from the sickness that she had after they left her, she too laid out to come on to Chicago, and spend a few weeks. He wuz a-layin' out to reconoiter round and find a good place for her to board and take good care on her. He thought enough on her — yes, indeed. But, as he said, she wuz jest struck right down seemin'ly with her grief at the loss of them two old folks. You see, if your head has been a-restin' for some time on a piller, even if it is a piller of stun, w r hen it is drawed out sudden from under you, your head jars down on the ground dretful heavy and hard. And when you've been carryin' a burden for a long time, when it is took sudden from you you have a giddy feelin', you feel light and faint and wobblin'. And then she loved 'em — she loved her poor old charges with a daughter's love and with all the love a mother gives to a helpless baby, with the pity added that gray hairs and toothless gums must amount to added up over the sum of dimples and ivory and coral that makes up a baby's beautiful helplessness. And they wuz took from her dretful sudden. There wuz a sort of a influenza prevailin' up round SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 21 their way, and lots of strong healthy folks suckumbed to it, and it struck onto these poor old feeble ones some like simiters, and mowed 'em right down. The old lad\' wuz took down first, and her great Why, there stands Pa, and he wants me to git up and go WITH HIM." anxiety wuz — "That Pa shouldn't know that she wuz so sick." But before she died, "Pa" in another room wuz took with it, and passed away a day before she did, 22 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. She worried all that mornin' about " Pa," and — "How bad he would feel if he knew she wuz so sick !" But along late in the afternoon, when the Winter sun wuz makin' a pale reflection on the wall through the south winder, she looked up, and sez she— "Why, there stands Pa right by my bed, and he wants me to git up and go with him. And, Isabelle, 1 must go." And she did. And Isabelle wuz left alone. They wuz buried in one grave,, And the funeral sermon, they say, wuz enough to melt a stun, if there had been any stuns round where they eould hear it. Isabelle didn't hear it (don't git the idee that 1 am a-wantin' to compare her to a stun ; no, fur from it). She wuz a-layin' to home on abed, with her sad eyes bent on nothin'ess and emptiness and utter desola- tion, so it seemed to her. But after a time she begun to pick up a little, judgin' from her letters to her brother Krit. He had to leave her jest after the funeral on account of his business ; for, civil as it wuz, it had to be tended to. CHAPTER II. Wall, we all enjoyed havin' Christopher there the best that ever wuz. For he wuz very agreeable, as well as uncommon smart, which two qualities don't always go together, as has often been observed by others, and I have seen for myself. Wall, it wuzn't more than a week or so after Krit ar- rived and got there, that an- other relation made his ap- pearance in Jonesville. It wuz of 'em on his side this time — not like Krit, half hisen and half mine, but clear hisen. Clear Allen, with no Smith at all in the admixture. Proud enough wuz my pardner of him, and of himself too for bein' born his cousin. (Though that ^■f Tickled wuz he when word come 24 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. vvuz onbeknown to him at the time, and he ort not to have gloried in it.) But tickled wuz he when word come that Elna- than Allen, Esquire, of Menlo Park, California, wuz a-comin' to Jonesville to visit his old friends. That man had begun life poor — poor as a snipe; sometimes I used to handle that very word "Snipe" a-describin' Elnathan Allen's former circumstances to Josiah, when he got too overbearin' about him. For he had boasted to me about him fur years, and years, and a woman can't stand only jest about so much aggravatin' and treadin' on before she will turn like a worm. That is Bible about 'The Worm," and must be believed. What used to mad me the worst wuz when he would git to comparin' Elnathan with one of 'em on my side who wuz shiftless. Good land ! 'Zekiel Smith hain't the only man on earth who is ornary and no account. Every pardner has 'em, more or less, on his side and on hern ; let not one pardner boast themselves over the other one ; both have their draw- backs. But Elnathan had done well; I admitted it only when I wuz too much put upon. He had gone fur West, got rich, invested his SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 25 capital first rate, some on it in a big Eastern city, and had got to be a millionare. He wuz a widower with one child, The Little Maid, as he called her ; he jest idolized her, and thought she wuz perfect. And I spoze she wuz oncommon, not from what her Pa said — no, I didn't take all his talk about her for Gospel; I know too much. But Barzelia Ann Allen (a old maid up to date) had seen her, had been out to California on a excur- sion train, and had staid some time with 'em. And she said that she wuz the smartest child this side of Heaven. With eyes of violet blue, big luminous eyes, that draw the hearts and souls of folks right out of their bodies when they looked into 'em, so full of radiant joy and heavenly sweet- ness wuz they. And hair of waving gold, and lips and cheeks as pink as the hearts of the roses that climbed all Winter round her w r inder — and the sweetest, dainti- est ways — and so good to everybody, them that wuz poor and sufferin' most of all. Barzeel wuz always most too enthusiastick to suit me, but I got the idee from what she said that she wuz a oncommon lovely child. Good land ! Klnathan couldn't talk about any- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. Here he got two bi< thing else — like little Jest like babblin' brooks run- nin' towards the sea, all his talk, every an- ecdote he told, and every idee he sot forth, jest led up to and ended with that child. creeks. He worshipped her. And he himself told me so many stories about her bein' so good to the poor, and sacrincin' her little comforts for 'cm— at her age, too— that I thought to myself, I wonder why you don't take some of them object lessons to heart — why you don't set down at her feet, and learn of her — and I wonder too where SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 2J she took her sweet charity from, but spoze it wuz from her mother. Her mother had been a beautiful woman, so I had been told. She wuz a Devereaux - — nobody that I ever knew, or Josiah. Celeste Devereaux. The little girl wuz named for her mother. But they alwavs called her The Little Maid. Wall, to resoom, and to hitch my horse in front of the wagon agin. (Allegory. ) Elnathan had left The Little Maid and her nurse in that Eastern city where he owned so much prop- erty, and had come on to pay a nyin' visit to Jones- ville, not forgittin Loontown, you may be sure, where a deceased Aunt had jest died and left her property to him. He wuz close. He had left The Little Maid in the finest hotel in the city, so he said. He had looked over more 'n a dozen, so I hearn, before he could git one he thought wuz healthy enough and splendid enough for her. At last he selected one, standin' on a con- siderable rise of ground, with big, high, gorgeous rooms, and prices higher than the very topmost cupalo, and loftiest dumbly pot. Here he got two big rooms for The Little Maid, and one for the nurse. He grot the two rooms for 28 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. the child so's the air could circulate through 'em. He wuz very particular about her bavin' air of the very purest and best kind there wnz made, and the same with vittles and clothes, etc., etc., etc. Wall, while he wuz a-goin' on so about pure air and the values and necessities of it, I couldn't help thinkin' of what Barzelia had told me about that big property of hisen in the Eastern city where he had left The Little Maid. Here, in the very lowest part of the city, he owned hull streets of tenement housen, miserable old rotten affairs, down in stiflin' alleys, and courts, breeders of disease, and crime, and death. At first some on 'em fell into his hands by a exchange of property, and he found they paid so well, that he directed his agent to buy up a lot of 'em. Barzelia had told me all about 'em, she was jest as enthusiastick about what she didn't like as what she did ; she said the money got in that way, by housin' the poor in such horrible pestilental places, seemed jest like makin' a bargain with Death. Rentin' housen to him to make carnival in. And while he wuz talkin' to such great length, and with such a satisfied and comfortable look onto SAMANTMA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 29 his face, about the vital necessities of pure air and beautiful surroundin's, in order to make children well and happy, my thoughts kept a-roamin', and I couldn't help it. Down from the lovely spot where The Little Maid wuz, down, down, into the dretful places that Barzelia had told me about. Where squalor, and crime, and disease, and death walked hand in hand, gatherin' new victims at every step, and where the children wuz a-droppin' down in the poisinous air like dead leaves in a swamp. I kep a-thinkin' of this, and finally I tackled Elnathan about it, and he laughed, Elnathan did, and begun to talk about the swarms and herds of useless and criminal humanity a-cumberin' the ground, and he threw a lot of statisticks at me. But they didn't hit me. Good land ! 1 wuzn't afraid on 'em, nor I didn't care anything abuut 'em, and I gin him to understand that I didn't. And in the cause of duty I kep on a-tacklin' him about them housen of hisen, and advisin' him to tear 'em down, and build wholesome ones, and in the place of the worst ones, to help make some little open breathin' places for the poor creeters down there, with a green tree now and then. And then agin he brung up the utter worthless- 30 SAM AM Til A AT THE WORLDS FAIR, ness, and shiftlessness, and viciousness of the class I wuz a-talkin' about. And then I sez — " How is anybody a-goin' to live pattern lives, when they are a-starvin' to death ? And how is anybody a-goin to enjoy religion when they are a-chokin' ?" And then he threw some more statisticks at me, dry and hard ones too ; and agin he see they didn't hit me, and then he kinder laughed agin, and assumed something of a jokelar air — such as men will when they are a-talkin' to wimmen — dretful ex- asperating too — and sez he — " You are a Philosopher, Cousin Samantha, and you must know such housen as you are a-talkin' about are advantageous in one way, if in no other — they help to reduce the surplus population. If it wuzn't for such places, and for the electric wires, and bomb cranks, and accidents, etc., the world would git too full to stand up in." " Help to reduce the surplus population !" sez I, and my voice shook with indignation as I said it. Sez I— " Elnathan Allen, you had better stop a-pilin' up your statisticks, for a spell, and come down onto the level of humanity and human brotherhood." Sez I, " Spozen you should take it to yourself for SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 31 a spell, imagine how it would be with you if you had been born there onbeknown to yourself." Sez I, " If you wuz a-livin' down there in them horrible pits of disease and death — if you wuz a-standin' over the dyin' bed of wife or mother, or other dear one, and felt that if you could bring one fresh, sweet breath of air to the dear one, dyin' for the want of it, you would almost barter your hopes of eter- nity — "If you stood there in that black, chokin' atmos- phere, reekin' with all pestilental and moral death, and see the one you loved best a-slippin' away from you — borne out of your sight, borne awav into the unknown, on them dead waves of poisinous, deathly air — I guess you wouldn't talk about reducin' the Surplus Population." I had been real eloquent, and I knew it, for I felt deeply what I said. But Elnathan looked cheerful under all my talk. It didn't impress him a mite, I could see. He felt safe. He wuz sure the squalor and suffer- in' never would or could touch him. He thought, in the words of the Him slightly changed, that : " He could read his title clear to Mansions with all the modern improvements." He and The Little Maid wuz safe. The world 32 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. looked further off to him, the woes, and wants, and crimes of our poor humanity seemed quite a consid- erable distance away from him. Onclouded prosperity had hardened Elnathan's heart — it will sometimes — hard as Pharo's. But he wuz a visitor and one of the relations on his side, and I done well by him, killed a duck and made quite a fuss. The business of settlin' the estate took quite a spell, but he didn't hurry any. He said " the nurse wuz good as gold, she would take good care of The Little Maid. She wrote to him every day ;" and so she did, the hussy, all through that dretful time to come. Oh dear me ! oh dear suz ! The nurse, Jean, had a sister who had come over from England with a cargo () f trouble and children — after Jean had come on to California. And Elnathan, good-natured when he wuz a mind to be, had listened to Jean's story of her sister's woes, with poverty, hungery children, and a drunken husband, and had given this sister two small rooms in one of his tenement housen, and asked so little for them, that they w T uz livin' quite comfortable, if anybody could live comfortable, in such a stiflin', nasty spot. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 33 Their rooms vvuz on top of the house, and wuz kept clean, and so high up that they could get a breath of air now and then. But the way up to 'em led over a crazy pair of stairs, so broken and rotten that even the Agent wuz disgusted with 'em and had wrote a letter to Elnathan asking for new stairs, and new sanitary arrangements, as the deaths wuz so frequent in that particular tenement, that the Agent wuz frightened, for fear they would be complained of by the City Fathers — though them old fathers can stand a good deal without complainin'. Wall, the Agent wrote, but Elnathan wuz at that time buildin' a new orchid house (he had more'n a dozen of 'em before) for The Little Maid ; she loved these half-human blossoms. And he wuz buildin' a high palm house, and a new fountain, and a veranda covered with carved lattice-work around The Little Maid's apartments. And a stained-glass gallery, leading from the con- servatory to the greenhouses, and these other houses I have mentioned, so that The Little Maid could walk out to 'em on too sunny days, or when it misted some. And so he wrote back to his Agent, that "lie couldn't possibly spend any money on stairs or 34 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. plumbin' in a tenement house, for the repairs he wuz making on his own plaee at Menlo Park would cost more than a hundred thousand dollars — and he felt that he couldn't fix them stairs, and he thought anyway it wuzn't best to listen to the complaints of complaining tenants." And he ended in that jokelar way of hi sen — "That if you listened to 'em, and done one thing for 'em, the next thing they would want would be velvet-lined carriages to ride out in." And the Agent, havin' jest seen the tenth funeral a-wendin' out of that very house that week, and bein' a man of some sense, though hampered, wrote back and said — " Carriages wouldn't be the next thing that they would all want, but coffins." He said sence he had wrote to Elnathan more than a dozen had been wanted there in that very house, and the tenants had been borne out in 'em. (And laid in fur cleaner dirt than they wuz accustomed to there ;) he didn't write this last — that is my own eppisodin'. And agin the Agent men- tioned the stairs, and agin he mentioned the plumbin'. But Elnathan wuz so inter- ested then and took up in try- "NO REPAIRS ALLOWED," SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 35 in' to decide whether he would have a stained- glass angel or some stained-glass cherubs a-hoverin' over the gallery in front of The Little Maid's room, that he hadn't a mite of time to argue any further on the subject — so he telegrafted — " No repairs allowed. Elnathan Allen." Wall, Elnathan had got the repairs all made, and the place looked magnificent. Good land ! it ort to ; the hull place cost more than a million dollars, so I have hearn ; I don't say that I am postive knowin' to it. But Barzelia gits things pretty straight ; it come to me through her. The Little Maid enjoyed it all, and Elnathan en- joyed it twice over, once and first in her, and then of course in his own self. But The Little Maid looked sort o' pimpin, and her little appetite didn't seem to be very good, and the doctor said that a journey East would do her good. And jest at this time the dowery in Loontown fell onto Elnathan, so that they all come East. Elnathan had forgot all about Jean havin' any relation in the big Eastern city where they stopped first — good land ! their little idees and images had got all overlaid and covered up with glass angels, orchids, bank stock, some mines, palm-houses, polit- ical yearnin's, social distinction, carved lattice-work, 36 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. some religious idees, and yots, and club-houses, etc., etc., etc. But when he decided to leave The Little Maid in the city and not bring- her to Jonesville — (and I believe in my soul, and I always shall believe it, that he wuz in doubt whether we had things good enough for her. The idee ! He said he thought it would be too much for her to go round to all the rela- tives — wall, mebby it wuz that ! But I shall always have my thoughts.) But anyway, when he made up his mind to leave her, he gin the nurse strict orders to not go down into the city below a certain street, which wuz a good high one, and not let The Little Maid out of her sight night or day. Wall, the nurse knew it wuz wrong — she knew it, but she did it. Jest as Cain did, and jest as David did, when he killed Ury, and Joseph's brother and Pharo, and you and I, and the relations on his side and on vourn. She knew she hadn't ort to. But bein' out a-walkin' with The Little Maid one day, a home-sick feelin' come over her all of a sudden. She wanted to see her sister — wanted to, like a dog. So, as the day wuz very fair, she thought mebby it wouldn't do any hurt, SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 37 fW/fJA^, ' ■% | He gin the nurse strict orders. The sky was so blue between the green boughs of the Park ! There had been a rain, and the glis- tenin' green made her think of the hedgerows of old England, where she and Katy used to find birds' nests, and the blue wuz jest the shade of the sweet old English violets. How she and Katy used to love them ! And the blue too wuz jest the color of 38 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Katy's eyes when she last see them, full of tears at partin' from her. She thought of Elnathan's sharp orders not to go down into the eity, and not to let The Little Maid out of her sight. Wall, she thought it over, and thought that mebby if she kep one of her promises good, she would be forgive the other. Jest as the Israelites did about the manny, and jest as You did when you told your wife you would bring her home a present, and come home early — and you bore her home a bracelet, at four o'clock in the mornin'. And jest as 1 did when I said, under the influence of a stirring sermon, that 1 wouldn't forgit it, and 1 would live up to it — wall, I hain't forgot it. But tenny rate, the upshot of the matter wuz that the nurse thought she would keep half of the Master's orders — she wouldn't let The Little Maid out of her sight. So she hired a cab — she had plenty of money, Elnathan didn't stent her on wages. He had his good qualities, Elnathan did. And she and The Little Maid rolled away, down through the broad, beautiful streets, lined with state- ly housen and filled with a throng of gay, hand- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 39 some, elegantly clothed men, wimmen, ana chil- dren. Down into narrower business streets, with lofty warehouses on each side, and full of a well-dressed, hurrying crowd of business men — down, down, down into the dretful street she had sot out to find. With crazy, slantin' old housen on either side — forms of misery filling the narrow, filthy street, wearing the semblance of manhood and womanhood. And worst of all, embruted, and haggard, and aged childhood. Filth of all sorts cumbering the broken old walks, and hoverin' over all a dretful sicknin' odor, full of disease and death. Wall, when they got there, The Little Maid (she had a tender heart), she wuz pale as death, and the big tears wuz a-rollin' down her cheeks, at the hor- rible sights and sounds she see all about her. Wall, Jean hurried her up the rickety old stair- case into her sister's room, where Jean and Kate fell into each other's arms, and forgot the world while they mingled their tears and their laughter, and half crazy words of love and bewildered joy. The Little Maid sot silently lookin out into the diit)', dretful court-yard, swarmin' with ragged 4-0 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. children in every form of dirt and discomfort, squalor and vice. She had never seen anything of the kind before in her guarded, love-watched life. She didn't know that there wuz such things in the world. Her lips wuz quiverin' — her lug, earnest eyes full of tears, as she started to go down the broken old stairs. And her heart full of desires to help 'em, so we spoze. But her tears blinded her. Half way down she stumbled and fell. The nurse jumped down to help her. She wuz hefty -two hundred wuz her weight ; the stairs, jest hangin' together by links of planked rotteness, fell under 'em — down, down they went, down into the depths below. The nurse was stunted — not hurt, only stunted. But The Little Maid, they thought she wuz dead, as they lifted her out. Ivory white wuz the perfect little face, with the long golden hair hangin' back from it, ivory white the little hand and arm hangin' limp at her side. She wuz carried into Katy's room, a doctor wuz soon called. Her arm wuz broken, but he said, after she roused from her fain tin' lit, and her arm SAMANTHA at THE WORLDS FAIR. 41 wuz set — he said she would git well, but she mustn't be moved for several days. Jean, wild with fright and remorse, thought she would conceal her sin, and git her back to the hotel before she telegrafted to her father. Jest as you thought when you eat cloves the other night, and jest as I thought when I laid the Bible over the hole in the table-cover, when I see the minister a-comin'. Wall, the little arm got along all right, or would, if that had been all, but the poisonous air wuz what killed the little creeter. For five days she lav, not sufferin' so much in body, but stifled, choked with the putrid air, and each day the red in her cheeks deepened, and the little pulse beat faster and faster. And on the fifth day she got delerious, and she talked wild. She talked about cool, beautiful parks bein' made down in the stifiin', crowded, horrible courts and byways of the cities — With great trees under which the children could play, and look up into the blue sky, and breathe the sweet air — she talked about fresh dewey grass on which they might lav their little hollow cheeks, and which would cool the fever in them. 42 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. She talked about a fountain of pure water down where now wuz filth too horrible to mention. She talked very wild — for she talked about them terrible slantin' old housen bein' torn down to make room for this Paradise of the future. Had she been older, words might have fallen from her feverish lips of how the woes, and evils, and crimes of the lower classes always react upon the upper. She might have pictured in her dreams the drama that is ever bein' enacted on the pages of history — of the sorely oppressed masses turnin' on the oppressors, and drivin' them, with themselves, out to ruin. Pages smeared with blood might have passed before her, and she might have dreamed — for she wuz very delerious — she might have dreamed of the time when our statesmen and lawgivers would pause awhile from their hard task of punishin' crime, and bend their energies upon avertin' it — Helpin' the poor to better lives, helpin' them to justice. Takin' the small hands of the children, and leadin' them away from the overcrowded prisons and penitentaries toward better lives — When Charity (a good creeter, too, Charity is) but when she would step aside and let Justice and True Wisdom go ahead for a spell — SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 43 When co-operative business would equalize wealth to a greater degree — when the government would control the great enterprises, needed by all, but addin' riches to but few — when comfort would nourish self-respect, and starved vice retreat before the dawnin' light of happiness. Had she been older she might have babbled of all this as she lav there, a victim of wrong inflicted on the low — a martyr to the folly of the rich, and their injustice toward the poor. But as it wuz, she talked only with her little fever- parched lips of the lovely, cool garden. Oh, they wuz wild dreams, flittin', flittin', in little vague, tangled idees through the childish brain ! But the talk wuz always about the green, beauti- ful garden, and the crowds of little children walk- in' there. And on the seventh day (that wuz after Elnathan got there, and me and Josiah, bein' telegrafted to)— On the seventh day she begun to talk about a Form she saw a-walkin' in the garden — a Presence beautiful and divine, we thought from her words. He smiled as he saw the happiness of the children. He smiled upon her, he wuz reachin' out his arms to her. 44 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. And about evenin' she looked up into her father's face and knew him — and she said somethin' about lovin' him so — and somethin' about the beautiful garden, and the happy children there, and then she looked away from us all with a smile, and I spozed, and I always shall spoze, that the Divine One a-walkin' in the cool of the evenin' in the garden, the benign Presence she saw there, happy in the children's happiness, drew nearer to her, and took her in his arms — for it says — " He shall carry the lambs in His bosom." That wuz two years ago. Elnathan Allen is a changed man, a changed man. I hain't mentioned the word surplus population to him. No, I hadn't the heart to. Poor creeter, I wuz good to him as I could be all through it, and so wuz Josiah. His hair got white as a old man's in less than two months. But with the same energy he brought to bear in makin' money he brought to bear on makin' The Little Maid's dream come true. He said it wuz a vision. And, poor creeter, a-doin' it all under a mournin' weed ; and if ever a weed wuz deep, and if ever a man mourned deep, it is that man. SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 45 Yes, Elnathan has done well ; I have writ to him to that effect. He tore down them crazy, slantin', rotten old housen, and made a park of that filthy hole, a lovely little park, with fresh green grass, a fountain of pure water, where the birds come to slake their little thirsts. He sot out big trees (money will move a four- foot ellum). There is green, rustlin' boughs for the birds to build their nests in. Cool green leaves to wave over the heads of the children. They lay their pale faces on the grass, they throw their happy little hearts onto the kind, patient heart of their first mother, Nature, and she soothes the fever in their little breasts, and gives 'em new and saner idees. They hold their little hands under the crystal water droppin' forever from the outspread wings of a dove. They find insensibly the grime washed away by these pure drops, their hands are less in- clined to clasp round murderous weepons and turn them towards the lofty abodes of the rich. They do not hate the rich so badly, for it is a rich man who has done all this for them. The high walls of the prison that used to loom up so hugely and threatingly in front of the bare 46 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLlVs FAIR. old tenement housen — the harsh glare of them walls seem further away, hidden from them by the gracious green of the blossoming trees. The sunshine lays between them and its rough walls — they follow the glint of the sunbeams up into the Heavens. CHAPTER III. My beloved pardner is very easy lifted up or cast down by bis emotions, and bis excitement wuz in- tense durin' the bull of the long" time that the war- fare lasted as to where the World's Fair wuz to be held, where Columbus wuz goin' to be celebrated. I thought at the time, Josiah wuz so fearful riz up in his mind, that it wuz doubtful if he ever would be settled down agin, and act in away becomin' to a grandfather and a Deacon in the M. E. meetin'-house. And it wuz a excitin' time, very, and the fightin' and quarrelin' between the rival cities wuz perilous in the extreme. It would have skairt Christopher, I'll bet, if he could have seen it, and he would have said that he would most ruther not be celebrated than to seen it go on. Why, New York and Chicago most come to hands and blows about it, and St. Louis wuz jest a-follerin' them other cities up tight, a-worryin' 'em, and a-naggin', and a sort o' barkin' at their heels, as it wuz, bound she would have it. 4«S SAMANTHA AT THE World's FAIR. They couldn't all on 'cm have it. Christopher couldn't be in three places at one time and simulta- nous, no matter how much calculation he had about him. No, that wuz impossible. He had to be in one place. And they fit, and they lit, and they fit, till I got tired of the very name of the World's Fair, and Josiah got almost ravin' destracted. It seemed to me, and so I told Josiah, that New York wuz a more proper place for it, bein' as it wuz clost to the ocean, so many foreigners would float over here, them and their things that they wanted to show to the Fair. It would almost seem as if they would be tired enough when they got here, to not want to disem- mark themselves and their truck, and then imegiatly embark agin on a periongor or wagon, or car, or sunthin, and go a-trailin' off thousands of milds further. And then go through it all agin disem- barkin' and unloadin' their truck, and themselves. Howsumever, I spozed if they sot out for the Fair from Africa, or Hindoostan, or Asia, I spozed they would keep on till they got there, if they had to go the hull length of the Misisippi River, and travelled in more'n forty different conveniences, etc., etc. But it didn't seem so handy nor nigh. But Chicago is dretful w T orrysome and active, jest SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 49 like all children who have growed fast, and kinder outgrowed their clothes and family goverment. She is dretful forward for one of her years, and she knows it. She knows she is smart, and she is bound to have her own way if there is any possible way of gittin' it. And she had jest put her foot right down, that have that Fair she would. And like as not if she hadn't got it she would have throwed herself and kicked. I shouldn't wonder a mite if she had. But she jest clawed right in, and tore round and acted, and jawed, and coaxed, and kinder cried, and carried the day, jest as spilte children will, more'n half the time. Not but what New York vvuz a-cuttin' up and a-actin' jest as bad, accordin' to its age. But Chicago wuz younger and spryer, and could kick stronger and cut up higher. New York wuz older and lamer, as you may say, its jints wuz stiffer, and it had lost some of its facul- ties, which made it dretful bad for her. It wuz forgetful ; it had spells of kinder losin' its memory, and had had for years. Now, when the Great General died, why New York cut up fearful a-fightin' for the honor of havin' him laid to rest in its borders. 50 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Why, New York fairly riz up and kicked higher than you could have spozed it wuz possible for her to kick at her age, and hollered louder than you could have spozed it wuz possible with her lungs. When Washington, the Capital of this Great Republic, expressed a desire to have the Saviour of his Country sleep by the side of the Founder of it- why, New York acted fairly crazy, and I believe she wuz for a spell. Anyway, I believe she had a spazzum. Pier wild demeanor wuz such, her snorts, her oritorys, resounded on every side, and wuz heard all over the land. She acted crazy as a loon till she got her way. She promised if she could have the Hero sleep there, she would build a monument that would tower up to the skies. The most stupendious, the most impressive work of art that w r uz ever wrought by man. Wall, she got her way. Why, she cut up so, that she had to have it, seemin'ly. Wall, did she do as she agreed ? No, indeed. She had one of her forgetful spells come right on her, a sort of a stupor, I guess, a-follerin' on after a bein' too wild and crazy about gittin' her way. And anyway, year after year passed, and no monu- If she could have the Hero sleep there, she would build a MONUMENT THAT WOULD TOWER UP TO THE SKIES. 52 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. ment wuz raised, not a sign of one. She lied, and she didn't seem to care if she had lied. There the grave of the Great One wuz onmarked by even a decent memorial, let alone the great one they said they would raise. And when the Great Ones of the Old World— the renowned in Song and Story and History — when they ariv in New York, most their first thoughts wuz to visit the Grand Tomb of our Hero — - The one who their rulers had delighted to honor — the one who had been welcomed in the dazzlin' halls of their Kings. And them halls had felt honored to have his shadow rest on 'em as he passed through 'em to audiences with royalty. They journeyed to that tomb. Some on 'em had been used to stand by the tombs of their own great dead under the magestic aisles of Westminster Abbey, whose lofty glories dwarfs the human form almost to a pigmy. Some had stood by the white marble poem of the Tair Megfal in India, wherein a royal soul has carved his love for a woman. If that race, to whom we send missionaries to civilize them, could raise such a tomb over its dead, and a woman too, who had done no great things, only loved the man who raised this incomparable monument over her — what SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 53 could they expect to find raised by this great and dominant race over the dead form of the man who had saved the hull country from ruin ? So with feelin's of awe and wonder in their hearts, expectin' to see they knew not what, the awestruck, admirin' foreigner paused before the tomb of the Great Leader — and he see nothin'. Not even a respectable grave-stun, such as you see in any New England graveyard. (Or that has been the case till very lately. But now things look a little brighter in the monument line.) But it has been a shame, and a burnin' one, so burnin' that it has seemed to me that it would take all the cool blue waters that glide along below, a-complainin' of the slight and insult to our Hero — it would take more than all these waters to wash it out and make the country clean agin. But she had one of her spells, and whether she wuz well or whether she wuz sick, New York lied jest like a dog about it. Whether she wuz crazy or not, the fact remained that she had bragged, and then gin out ; had prom- ised, and not performed. I believe she wuz out of her head. Then there wuz the same kind of a performance she went through with the Goddess of Liberty. 54 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. When France had gin that beautiful and most wondeful creeter to us as a present, it looked sort o' shabby in New York to not provide a platform for that female to stand up on. Now, didn't it ? She a-offerin' to light up the world if she only had a place to stand up on — and the great continent of Amer- ica not bein' willin* to gin it to her. New York talk- ed — oh, yes, it wuz She a-offerin to light up the world, if she only had a placi; TO stand up on. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 55 a-goin' to do great things ! Oh, what a big, noble door-step it wuz a-layin' out to rize up for that god- dess to stand on ! But there it wuz, New York had one of her spells agin, lost her faculties, forgot all about what she said she wuz a-goin' to do — and left that noble female, left that princely present to lay round in a heap, a perfect imposition to France and to human nater. The idee of a goddess with no place to stand up on ! The Great Republic a-stretchin' out on each side, and no place for her feet to rest on. And no knowin' but she would have been a-layin' round to-day, all broke up and onjinted, if it hadn't been for a public-sperited newspaper man, who took the matter up, and worked at it, and called public attention to it, till at last it got a place for the god- dess to be histed up on her feet, and rest her legs a spell, all crumpled up under her. The idee of a goddess, and such a goddess, a layin' round with her legs all doubled up under her, and all broke up — the idee ! Then it got the Centenial Exhibition there. And it wuzn't no more than right, what it promised and bound itself to do, to make some triumphal arches for the processions to walk under, a-triumphin*. Why, she vowed and de- clared solemn that she would make 'em if she could have it there. They wuz goin' to be, accordin' to her tell, ■\ accordin' to what New York said about it, about the most gorgus and impressive arches that ever wuz arched over anybody, fur or near, anywhere. Now, after it got the exhibition there, did it make 'em ? No, indeed. It had another spell come on, clean forgot all about it. And there the Columbian Exposition come and no arch for it to walk under, not a arch, only some old boaids nailed up, some like a barn door, only higher. Wall, you see these kind o' crazy spells, losin' its faculties every once in a while, made it dretful hard for New York. I believe she would got the World's Fair if it hadn't been for that. But the question would keep a-comin' up, and the country had to pay attention to it — what if she got the World's Fair, and then had another fit ! What if she had another spell come on, and forgot all about it ! And lo ! and behold ! have the World's Fair sail up and halt in front of her and she not have any place SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. $; for it, and mebbybe out of her head so she couldn't remember nothin', wouldn't remember who Chris- topher wuz, or anythin'. No ; the hull country felt that it wuz resky, and that, I have always spozed, wuz one reason why New York lost it. And then, as I have said heretofore, Chicago wuz jest bound to have it, and she did. But then, if you'll believe it, jest like any spilte young child that cries for another big apple when both its hands are full of 'em — it hadn't no place for it. It had got the World's Fair, but hadn't got any- place to put it. The idee ! Jest crazy to have it, cried and yelled, and acted, (metafor) till it got it. And then, lo ! and behold ! where wuz she goin' to put it ? Hadn't a place big enough, or ready for it. Of course she had the lake. But she didn't want to drownd it, after makin' such a fuss over it ; it wouldn't have seemed very horsepitable. And she didn't really want to put it out onto a prairie. And she couldn't put it right round under her feet, where it would git trampled on, and git bruised, and knocked round ; that wouldn't be a-usin' Chris- topher Columbus as he ort to be used. 5'«"2? With all her womanly faith, and all her ear-rings and breast- pins, ETC., ETC. What wou stock would he sell in that enter- prise ? How many men would he git to sail out with him on that voyage of Discovery ? What would Vanderbilt and Russell Sage say to it? Why, they would say that the man wuz a fool, and that the only way to travel wuz on Russell Sage say? j ron rails r Steamships. They would say that there wuzn't any such land as he de- pictered. That it existed only in his crazy brain. Wall, it wuz jest about as wild a idee that Ferdi- nand had to listen to ; I d'no that he wuz any more to blame than they would be for not hearin' to it. But Isabelle, she wuz built different. There wuz some divine atmosphere of Truth and Reality about this idee that reached her heart and mind. Her soul and mind bein' made in jest the right way to be touched by it. She, too, wuz built on jest the right plan so she could apprehend what she could not yet compre- hend. So she gin him her cordial sympathy, and also, as I said, her ear-rings, etc. But after the years and years that he toiled and labored for the means to carry out his idees — after SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 97 these long years of effort and hardship, and disap- pointments and delays — after his first vain efforts — after he did at last git launched out on the Ocean a-sailin' out on the broad, empty waste in search of sunthin' that he see only in his mind's eye — How the storms beat on him — how the winds and waves buffeted him, and tried to drive him back — but — " No, no, he wuz bound for the New Land ! he wuz bound for the West !" How the sailors riz up and plead with him and begged him to turn back — but " No," sez he, " I go to the New Land !" Then they would tell him that there wuzn't any such Land, and stick to it right up and down, and jeer at him. Did it turn him round — " No ! I sail onward," sez he, " I go to the West !" Then the principalities and powers of the onseen World seemed to take it in hand and tried to drive him back. There wuz signs and omens seen that wuz reckoned disastrous, and threatened destruc- tion. Mebby the souls of them who had passed over from the New Land, mebby them disembodied faithful shades wuz a-tryin' to save their free sunny huntin' grounds from the hands of the invader, and 98 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. their race from the fate that threatened 'em — mebby they hurled onseen tommyhawks, and shrieked down at 'em, tryin' to turn 'em back — Mebby they did, and then agin mebby they didn't. But anyway, there wuz lurid lightin' Hashes that looked like flights of fiery arrows aimed at the heads of the Spanish seamen, and shriekin's of the tempest amidst the sails overhead that sounded like cries of anger, and distress, and warnin'. Did Columbus heed them fearful warnin's and turn back ? No ; dauntless and brave, a-facin' dan- gers onseen, as well as seen, he sez — " I sail onward !" And so he did, and he sailed, and he sailed — and mebby his own brave heart grew sick and faint with lookin' on the trackless waste of waters round him, and no shore in sight for days, and for days, and for days. But if it did, he give no signs of it — " I sail onward !" he sez. And finally the lookout way up on the dizzy mast see a light way off on the horizon, and then the night came down dark, and when the sun wuz riz up — lo ! right before 'em lay the shores of the New World. And the Man's and the Woman's belief wuz proved true— and the gain- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 99 savin' World vvuz proved wrong. Success had come to 'em. And after the doubt, and the danger, and the despair, and the discouragement had all been endured — after the ideal had been made real, why then it wux considered quite easy to discover a New World. It wuzn't considered very hard. Why, all you had to do wuz to sail on till you come to it. After a thing is done it is easy enough. Nowadays we are sot down before as great co- nundrums as Columbus wuz. The ( )ld World groans under old abuses, and wrongs, and injustices. The old paths are dusty and worn with the feet of them who have marked its rocks and chokin' sands with their bleedin' feet, as they toiled on over 'em bear- in' their crosses. Dark clouds hang heavy over their paths — the atmosphere is chokin' and stiflin'. Fur off, fresh and fair, lays the New Land of our ideal. The realm of peace, and justice to all, of temperance, and sanity, and love and joy. Fur off, fur off, we hear the melodious swash of its waves on its green banks — -we see fur off the gleam of its white, glory-lit mountain-tops. Men have gin their strength and their lives for this ideal, this vision of glory and freedom. IOO SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. Wimmen have took their jewels from their bosom, and gin 'em to this cause of Human Right. Gin 'em with breakin' hearts, and white lips that tried to smile, as the last kiss of lover and son, husband and brother, rested on 'em. Yes, men and wimmen both have seen that Ideal Land, that New Land of Liberty and Love. They have apprehended it with liner senses than compre- hension — have seen it with the clearer light of the soul's eyes. Some green boughs from its high palms have been washed out on the swellin' waves that lay between us and that Land, and floated to our feet. Sometimes, when the air wuz very still and hushed, and a Presence seemed broodin' on the rapt listnin' earth, we have looked fur, fur up into the clear depths of blue above us, and we have ketched the distant glimpse of birds of strange plumage onknown to this Old World. Fur off, fur off their silvery wings have floated, a-comin' from the West, from the land that lays beyend the sunset's golden glory. Some of the light of that New Country has shone on us in inspired eyes, some of its strange language has been hearn by us from inspired lips. But oh ! the wide, pathless sea that lays between SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. IOI us and that land of full Fruition and Glory and Freedom. Shall we set down on the shores of our Old World, and give up the hope and glory of the New ? Shall we listen to the jeers and sneers of them that tell us that there hain't any such country as that we look for— that it is impossible, that it is aginst all the laws of Nater — that it don't exist, and never can, only in our crazed brains ? No, we will man the boat, though the waves dash high, and the skies are dark — we will man and woman the life-boat — side by side will the two great forces stand, the Motherhood and the Fatherhood, Love and Justice, the hope and strength of Human- ity shall stand at the helium. The wind is a-comin' up ; it is only a light breeze now, but it shall rise to a strong power that shall waft us on to the New Land of Justice and Purity and Liberty — for all that our souls long for. But we have got to shet our eyes to the outward world that presses round us closter than the streets of Genoa did round Columbus. We have got to see things invisible, trust in things to come — sail onwards through the doubts, and the darkness, and the dangers round us, not heeding the jeers and sneers of a °7 bring it down onto the globe and gin it a whack. And I didn't wonder. It is enough to make a stun woman, or a wooden female, mad, to see how the nation always depicters wimmen in statutes, and pictures, and things, as if they wuz a-holdin' the hull world in the palm of their hand, when they hain't, in reality, willin' to gin 'em the right that a banty hen has to take care of their own young ones, and protect 'em from the hoverin' hawks of intemperance and every evil. But mebby she didn't have no idee of givin' a wmack at the globe ; she wuz a-holdin' it stiddy when I seen her, and she looked calm, and middlin' serene, and as beautiful, and lofty, and inspirin' as they make. She wuz dressed well, and a eagle had come to rest on her bosom, symbolical, mebby, of how wim- men's heart has, all through the ages, been the broodin' place and the rest of eagle man, and her heart warmed by its soft, flutterin' feathers, and pierced by its cruel beak. The crown wore on top of her noble forehead wuz dretful appropriate to show what wuz inside of a woman's head ; for it wuz made of electric lights — flashin' lights, and strange, wrought of that mys- terious substance that we don't understand yet. 308 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But we know that it is luminous, fur-reachm' in its rays, and possesses almost divine intelligence. It sheds its pure white light a good ways now, and no knowin' how much further it is a-goin' to flash 'em out — no knowin' what sublime and divine power of intelligence it will yet grow to be, when it is fully understood, and when it has the full, free power to branch out, and do all that is in it to do. Jest like wimmen's love, and divine ardor, and holy desires for a world's good — jest exactly. It wuz a good-lookin' head-dress. Her figger wuz noble, jest as majestic and per- fect as the human form can be. And it stood up there jest as the Lord meant wimmen to stand, not lookin' like a hour-glass or a pismire, but a good sensible waist on her, jest as human creeters ort to have. I don't know what dressmakers would think of her. I dare presoom to say they would look down on her because she didn't taper. And they would probable be disgusted because she didn't wear cossets. But to me one of the greatest and grandest uses of that noble hgger wuz to stand up there a-preachin' to more than a million wimmen daily of the beauty SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 309 and symmetry of a perfect form, jest as the Lord made it, before it wuz tortured down into de- formity and disease by whalebones and cosset strings. Imagine that stately, noble presence a-scrunchin 1 herself in to make a taper on herself — or to have her long, graceful, stately draperies cut off into a coat-tail bask — the idee ! Here wuz the beauty and dignity of the human form, onbroken by vanity and folly. And I did hope my misguided sect would take it to heart. And of all the crowds of wimmen I see a-standin' in front of it admirin' it, I never see any of 'em, even if their own waists did look like pis- mires, but what liked its looks. Till one day I did see two tall, spindlin', fashion- able-lookin' wimmen a-lookin' at it, and one sez to the other : " Oh, how sweet she would look in elbow-sleeves and a tight-rlttin' polenay !" " Yes," sez the other ; " and a bell skirt ruffled almost to the waist, and a Gainsboro hat, and a parasol." " And high-heel shoes and seven-button gloves," sez the other. And I turned my back on them then and there, 3io SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR : ' HOW SWEET SHE WOULD LOOK and don't know what other improvements they did want to add to her — most likely a box of French candy, a card-case, some eye- glasses, a yeller-cov- ered novel, and a pug dog. The idee ! And as I wended on at a pretty good jog after hearin' 'em, I sez to myself — "Some wimmen are born fools, some achieve foolishness, and some have fool- ishness thrust on 'ern and I guess them two had all three of 'em." I said it to myself loud enough so's sez in joyful ax- Josiah heard me, and he ents — " I am glad r Sarqantha, that you have come to SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 3 1 1 your senses at last, and have a realizin' sense of your sect's weaknesses and foil v." And I wuz that wrought up with different emo- tions that I wuz almost perfectly by the side of myself, and I jest said to him — " Shet up !" I wouldn't argy with him. I wuz fearful excited a-contemplatin' the heights of true womanhood and the depths of fashionable folly that a few — a very few — of my sect yet waded round in. But after I got quite a considerable distance off, I instinctively turned and looked up to the face of that noble creeter, the Republic. And I see that she didn't care what wuz said about her. Her face wuz sot towards the free, fresh air of the future — the past wuz behind her. The winds of Heaven wuz fannin' her noble foretop, her eves wuz lookin' off into the fur depths of space, her lips wuz wreathed with smiles caught from the sun and the dew, and the fire of the golden dawn. She wuz riz up above the blame or praise — the belittlin'. foolish, personal babblin' of contemporary criticism. Her head wuz lifted towards the stars. But to resoom, and continue on, CHAPTER XII. After we reluctantly left off contemplatin' that statute of Woman, we wended along to the buildin' of Manafactures and Liberal Arts, that colossial structure that dwarfs all the other giants of the Ex- position. This is the largest buildin' ever constructed by any exposition whatsoever. Tt covers with its galleries forty acres of land — it is as big as the hull of Elam Bobbet's farm — and Elam gets a good livin' offen that farm for him and Amanda and eight children, and he raises all kinds of crops on it, besides cows, and colts, and hens, grass land and pasture, and a creek goes a-runnin' through it, besides a piece of wood lot. And then, think to have one buildin' cover a place as large as Elam's farm ! Why, jest the idee on't wquld, I believe, stunt Amanda Bobbet, or else throw her into spazzums. For she has always felt dretful proud of their farm, and the size of it ; she has always said that it SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 3 1 3 come hard on Elam to do all the work himself on such a big farm. She has acted haughty. And then, if I could have took Amanda by the hand, and sez — " Here, Amanda, is one house that covers as much ground as your hull farm !" 1 believe she would have fell right down in a coniption lit. But Amanda wuzn't there; 1 had only my faith- ful pardner to share my emotions, as 1 went into one of its four great entrances, under its triumphal arches, each one bein'4ofeet wide and So feet high — - as long as from our house to the back pasture. The idee ! the idee ! Why, to change my metafor a little about the bigness ot this buildin', so's to let foreign nations git a little clearer idee of the size on't, I will state — ■ This one house is bigger than all those of Jones- ville, and Loontown, and Shackville, and Zoar. It is the biggest house on this planet. Whether they have got any bigger ones in Mars, or Jupiter, or Saturn, 1 don't know; but I will say this — if they have, and the Marites, and Jupiterians, and Satens, are made up as we be, and calculate to go through the buildin's, I am sorry for their legs. It faces the lake, in plain view of all admirin' 3H SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. mariners, the long row of arches, and columns ; is ornamented beyend anything that Jonesville ever drempt of, or Zoar, and a gallery fifty feet wide runs all round the huildin' ; and from this gallery runs eighty-six smaller galleries, so nothin' hinders folks from lookin' down into the big hall below, and seein' the gorgeous seen of the Exposition, and the immense throng of people admirin' it. As Josiah and I wuz a-wendin' along on the gallery a-frontin' the lake, I heard a man — he looked some like a minister, too — say to another one, sez he, " The style of this buildin' is Corin- thian." And I spoke right up, bein' determined that Josiah and I too should be took for what we wuz— good, Bible-readin' Methodists. I said to Josiah, but loud enough so that the man should hear — "The New Testament hain't got a better book in it than Corinthians — it is one of my favorites ; I am glad that this buildin' takes after it." He looked kinder dumfoundered, and then he looked tickled ; he see that we wuz congenial, though we met only as two barks that meet on the ocean, or two night-hawks a-sailin' past each other in the woods at Jonesville. SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 315 But true it is that a good-principled person is always ready to stand by his eolors. But the crowd swept us on, and we wuz divided — he to cany his good, solid principles out-doors, and disseminate 'em under the open sky ; 1 to carry mine inside that immense — immense buildin'. Why, a week wouldn't do justice at all to this buildin' — you ort to come here every day for a month at least, and then you wouldn't see a half or a quarter of what is in it. Why, to stand and look all round you, and up and down the long aisles that stretch out about you on every side, you feel some as a ant would feel a-lookin' up round it in a forest, (I mean the ant "Thou sluggard" went to, not your ma's sister.) Fur up, fur up the light comes down through the immense skylight, so it is about like bein' out-doors, and in the night it is most as light as day, for the ark lights are so big that, if you'll believe it, there are galleries of 'em up in the chandliers, and men a-walkin' round in 'em a-fixin' the lights look like Hies a-creep- in' about. The idee ! And the exhibits in that ^a i^7. This iuhi.djn' is Corinthian. 3 16 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. buildin' are like the sands of the sea for number, and it would be harder work to count 'em if you wuz a-goin' to tackle the job, for they hain't spread out smooth, like sea sand, but are histed up into the most «rorf showin' off, the Ma Country felt some as if she wnz right in the 322 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. family, and she and her daughter America hadn't ort to dress up and try to put on so many ornaments as the visitors. I make a practice of that myself, to try to not dress up quite so ornamental as my company duz. But for solid worth and display, as I say, Great Britain and the United States are where they always are — in the first rank. But, speakin of the visitors of the nation, if you want to git a good sight of 'em, jest stand in the clock tower, which looms up in the centre of the forty-acre buildin', as high as a Chicago house (and that is savin' enough for hite), and you'll see all round you all the nations of the earth. The guests of the nation occupy the place of honor, as they ort to. Lookin' down, you see the Mags of Great Britain, France, Germany, Russia, Austria, Japan, India, Switzerland, Persia, Mexico, etc., etc., etc. Wall, Josiah wanted to go up to the top of the buildin' on the elevator, and though T considered it resky, I consented, and would you believe it — I don't suppose you will — but to look down from that hite, human bein's don't look much larger than flies. There they vvuz, a-creepin' round in their SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. $2$ toy-house fly-traps ; it wuz a sight never to be forgot as long as Memory sets upon her high throne. Wall, as I said, in them pavilions and gorgeous glass cases in that vast buildin' you can find every- thing from every country on the globe. Everything you ever hearn on, and everything you ever didn't hearn on, from the finest lace to iron gates and fences — From big, splendid rooms, all furnished off in the most splendid manner with the most gorgeous draperies and furniture, to a tiny gold and diamond ring for a baby, and everything else under the sun, moon, and stars, from a pill to a monument. Pictures, and statuary, and bronzes, and every other kind of beautiful ornament, that makes you fairly stunted with admiration as you look on 'em. At one place a silver fountain wuz sendin' up con- stantly a spray of the sweetest perfume, and when I first looked at it, Josiah wuz a-holdin' his bandana handkerchief under it, and he wuz a-dickerin' with the girl that stood behind it as to what such a fountain cost, and where he could git the water to run one. Sez he, " I'd give a dollar bill to have such a stream a-runnin' through our front yard." I hunched him, and sez I, " Keep still ; don't 324 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. show your ignorance. It hain't nateral water ; it is manafactured." "Wall, all water is manafactured! Dum it, the stream that runs through our beaver medderis made somehow, or most probable it wouldn't be there." But I drawed him away and headed him up before some lovely dresses — the handsomest you ever see in your life — all trimmed with gold and pearl trimmin'. The price of that outfit wuz only twenty thousand dollars. And when I mentioned how becomin' such a dress would become me, I see by his words and mean that he had forgot the fountain. The demeanin' words that he used about my figger would keep females back from matrimony, if they knew on 'em. But 1 won't tell. No, indeed ! And then there wuz all sorts of art work on enamel and metal, and all sorts of dazzlin' jewelry that wuz ever made or thought on, and all the silver- ware that wuz ever hearn or drempt of — -why, jest one little service of seven pieces cost twenty thou- sand dollars. In Tiffany's gorgeous display wuz a case that illustrated the arts in Ireland in the fourteenth century. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 325 They said that it contained a tooth of St. Patrick. Mebbe it wuz his tooth ; I can't dispute it, never havin' seen his gooms. Then there wuz a Latin book of the eighth cen- tury, containin' the four gospels ; and in another wuz St. Peter's cross, they said. Mebby it wuz Peter's ! And every kind of silk fabric that wuz ever made — raw silk, jest as the worm left it when she sot up as a butterfly, and jest what man has done to it after that — spinnin', weavin', dyein' — up to the time when it appears in the finest ribbon, and glossiest silk, and crapes, and gauzes, and velvets, and knit goods of every kind, and etc., and so forth. And every kind of cloth, and felt, and woollen, and carpets enough to carpet a path clear from Chicago to Jonesville for me and Josiah to go home in a triumphal procession, if they had felt like it. In front of the French section I see another statute of the Republic. She wuz a-settin' down. Poor creeter, she wuz tired ; and then agin she had seen trouble — lots of it. Her left arm was a-restin' firm on a kind of a square block, with "The Rights of Man" carved on it, and half hidin' them words wuz a sword, which she also held in her left hand. 326 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. The rights of Man and a sword wuz held in one hand, jest as they always have been. But, poor creeter ! her right arm wuz gone — her good right hand wuz nowhere to be seen. I don't like to talk too glib about the judgments of Providence. The bad boys don't always git drownded when they go fishin' Sundays — they often git home with long strings of trout, and lick the good boys on their way home from Sunday-school. Such is real life, too oft. But I couldn't help savin' to Josiah — " Mebby if they had put onto that little monu- ment she holds, 'The Rights of Man and Woman' — mebby she wouldn't had her arm took off." But anyway, judgment or not, anybody could see with one eye how one-sided, and onhandy, and cramped, and maimed, and everything a Republic is who has the use of only one of her arms. Them that run could read the great lesson — - " Male and female created He them." Both arms are needed to clasp round the old world, and hold it firm — Justice on one side, Love on the other. I felt sorry for the Republic — sorry as a dog. But that wuz the first time I see her. The next time she had had her arm put on. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 327 I guess Uncle Sam done it. That old man is a-gittin' waked up, and Eternal Right is a-hunchin' him in the sides. She wuz a-holdin' that right arm up towards the Heavens ; the fingers wuz curved a little — they seemed to be begenin' to sunthin' up in the sky to come down and bless the world. Mebby it wuz Justice she wuz a-callin' on to come down and watch over the rights of wimmen. Anyway, she looked as well agin with both arms on her. Amongst the wonders of beauty in the French exhibit we see that vase of Gustave Dore's. That attracted crowds of admirers the hull time ; it stood up fifteen feet high, and every inch of it wuz beau- tiful enough for the very finest handkerchief pin ! There wuz hundreds of riggers from the animal and vegetable kingdom, and Mythology — cupids, nymphs, birds, and butterflies disportin' themselves in the most graceful way, and such beautiful female riggers ! — Venuses as beautiful as dreams, and over all, and through all, wuz a-trailin' the rich clusters of the vine. The figgers seemed at first sight to kind o' encour- age wine-makin' and wine-drinkin'. But look clost, and you'd see on one side, workin' his stiddy way 328 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. up through the fairy landscape, up through the gay revellers, a venemous serpent wuz a-creepin'. He wuz bound to be there, and Venus or Nymph, or any of 'em that touched that foamin' wine, had to be stung by his deadly venoms. Mr. Dore made that plain. Wall, we tried to the best of our ability to not slight a single country, but I'm afraid we did ; I tried to act the part of a lady and pay atten- tion to the hull on 'em, but I'm afraid that fifty or sixty countries had reason to feel that we slighted 'em ; but I hope that this will explain mat- ters to 'em. I felt that I hadn't done justice to our own country and our Ma Country, not at all ; but when you jest think how big the United States is, and how many firms try to show off in every county of every State — why, it tires anybody jest to think on't ; and Great Britain too ; for, as I thought, what good duz visitors do when their brain is a-reelin' under their head-dresses, and stove-pipe hats ! And truly that wuz our condition before we fairly begun to go through the countries. Beautiful works of art — marvellous exhibits to the right of us, to the left of us, and before us and be- hind us — forty-five acres on 'em. What wuz two SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 329 small pair of eyes and four ears to set up aginst this eolossial and imeasureable show ! We went till we wuz ready to drop down, and then Josiah sez, " Less take the rest of the grandeur for granted, and less go somewhere and git a cup of tea, and a nip of sunthin' to eat." I said sunthin' about hurtin' the different countries feelin's by not payin' attention to 'em. And he sez, " Dum it all, I don't know as it would make 'em any happier to have two old folks die on their hands ; and I feel, Samantha, that the end is a-drawin' near/' sez he. He did look real bad. So we went to the near- est place and got a cup of tea, and rested a spell, and when we come back w T e kinder left the Mana- factures part, and tackled the Liberal part, and I declare that wuz the best of all by fur. That wuz enough to lift up anybody's morals, and prop 'em up strong, to see how much attention is paid to education and trainin' right from the nursery up — devolipin' the mind and the body. It wuz some as if the Manafactures part tended to the house and clothin', and this part tended to the livin' soul that inhabited it. It wuz dretful interestin' to see everything about devolipin' the strength and muscle in gymnasiums, 330 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. skatin', rowin', boatin', and every other way. Food supply and its distribution, school kitchens. How to make buildin's the best way for health and com- fort for workin'men, school-housen, churches, and etc. How to heat and ventilate housen, how to keep the sewers and drains all right, and how nec- cessary that is ! Some folkses back doors are a abomination when their front doors are full of ornament. All kinds of instruction in infant schools, kinder- gartens ; domestic and industrial trainin' for girls, models for teachin' and cookery, housework, dress- making etc. ; how neccessary this is to turn out girls for real life, so much better than to have 'em know Greek, but not know a potatoe from a turnip ; to understand geology, but not recognize a shirt gusset from a baby's bib ! Books, literature, examples of printin' paper, bindin', religion, natural sciences, fine arts, school- books, newspapers, library apparatus, publications by Goverment, etc. And wuzn't it a queer coincidence ? that right where books wuz all round me, right while my eyes wuz sot on 'em — I hearn a voice I recognized. It wuz a-givin' utterance to the words I had heard so often — SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 33I "Two dollars and a half for cloth — three for sheep, and four for morocco." I turned, and there she wuz ; there stood Arvilly Lanfear. She wuz in front of a g'ood, meek-lookin' freckled woman, a-canvassin' her. Or, that is, she wuzn't exactly applyin' the canvas to her, but she wuz a-preparin' her for it. It seemed that she had been introduced to her, and wuz a-goin' to call on her the next day with the book. Sez I, advancin' onto her, " Arvilly Lanfear, did you really git here alive and well ?" " Wall," sez she, " I shouldn't have got here, most likely, if I wuzn't alive, and I never wuz so well in my life, in body and in sperits. Hain't it glorious here ?" sez she. " Yes," sez I ; and, sez I, "Arvilly, did you walk afoot all the way here ?" And then she went on and related her experience. She said that she wuz live weeks on her way, and made money all the way over and above her ex- penses. She walked the most of the way. She wuz now a-boardin' with a old acquaintance at five dollars a week, and she canvassed three days in the week, and come three days to the Fair, and more'n paid her way now. 332 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. Sez I, " Arvilly, you look better than I ever knew you to look ; you look ten years younger, and I don't know but 'leven." Sez I, " Your face has got a good color, and your eyes are bright." Sez I, " You hain't enjoyin' sech poor health as you did sometimes in Jonesville, be you ?" Sez she, " I never wuz so well before in my life !" Sez I, " You've somehow got a different look onto you, Arvilly." Sez I, " Somehow, you look more meller and happy." " I be happy !" sez she. Sez I, " I spoze you are still a-sellin' the same old book, the ' Wild, Wicked, and Warlike Deeds of Man'?" She kinder blushed, and, sez she, " No ; I have took up a new work." " What is it ?" sez I, for she seemed to kinder hang back from tellm, but finally she sez, " It is the ' Peaceful, Prosperous, and Precious Perform- ances of Man.'" "Wall," sez I, "I'm glad on't. Men should be walked round and painted on all sides to do justice to 'em. " 'Im real glad that you're a-goin' to canvas on his better side, Arvilly." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 333 "Yes," sez she, "men are amiable and noble creeters when you git to understand 'em." The change in her mean and her sentiments almost made my brain reel under my slate-colored straw bun- net, and my knees fairly trembled under my frame. And, sez I, "Arvilly, explain to a old and true friend the change that has come onto you." So we withdrew our two selves to a sheltered nook, and there the story wuz onfolded to me in perfect confidence, and it must be kep. I will tell it in my own words, for she rambles a good deal in her talk, and that is, indeed, a fault in female wim- men. Thank Heaven ! I hain't got it. It seems that when she sot out for the World's Fair with the " Wild, Wicked, and Warlike Deeds of Man," she had only a dollar in her pocket, but hoards and hoards of pluck and patience. She canvassed along, a-walkin' afoot — some days a-makin' nothin' and bein' clear discouraged, and anon makin' a little sunthin', and then agin makin' first rate for a day or two, as the way of agents is. Till one day about sundown — she hadn't seen a house for milds back — she come to a little house a-standin' back on the edge of a pleasant strip of 334 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. woods. A herd of sleek cows and some horses and some sheep wuz in pastures alongside of it, and a little creek of sparklin' water run before it, and she went over a rustic bridge, up through a pretty front yard, into a little vine-shaded porch, and rapped at the door. Nobody come ; she rapped agin ; nobody made a appearance. But anon she hearn a low groanin' and cryin' inside. !So, bein' at the bottom one of the kindest- hearted creeters in the world, but embittered by strugglin' along alone, Arvillv opened the door and went in. She went through a little parlor into the back room, and wuzn't that a sight that met her eyes ? A good-lookin' man of about Arvilly's age laid there all covered with blood and fainted entirely away, and on his breast wuz throwed the form of a little lame girl all covered with blood, and a-cryin' and a-groanin' as if her heart would break. She thought her Pa wuz dead. It seemed that he had cut his head dretfully with a tree branch a-fallin' onto it, and had jest made out to git to the house before he fainted ; and his little girl, havin' never seen a faint, thought it wuz death ; and it is its first cousin. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 335 Wall, here wuz a place for Arvilly's patience, and pluck, and faculty, to soar round in. The first thing, she took up the little lame girl in her arms — a sweet little creeter of five summers — and sot her in a chair, and comforted her by tellin' her that her Pa would be all right in a few minutes. And she then, (and I don't spoze that she had ever been nigher to a good-lookin' man than from three to five feet,) but she had to lift up his head and wash the blood from the clusterin' brown hair, with some threads of silver in it, and tear her own handkerchief into strips to bind up his wounds ; and she had some court-plaster with her and other nec- cessaries, and some good intment, and she is handy at everything, Arvilly is. Wall, by the time that a pair of good-lookin' blue eyes opened agin on this world, Arvilly had got the pretty little girl all washed and comforted, and a piller under his head ; and the minute his blue eyes opened a spark flew out of 'em right from that pil- ler that kindled up a simultanous one in the cool gray orbs of Arvilly. Wall, although he had his senses, he couldn't move or be moved for a day and a half. He didn't want nobody sent for, and Arvilly dassent leave 'em alone to go ; so as a Christian she had to take holt and take care on 'em. 33^ SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Wall, Arvilly always wuz, and always will be, 1 spoze, as good a housekeeper and cook as ever wuz made. So I spoze it wuz a sight to see how quick she got that disordered settin'-room to lookin' cozy and home-like, and a good supper on a table drawed up to the side of the little lame girl. And I spoze that it wuz one of the strangest experiences that ever took plaee on this planet, and I d'no as they ever had any stranger ones in Mars or Jupiter. Arvilly had to kinder feed the invalid man, Cephus Shute by name — had to kinder kneel down by him and hold the plate and teacup, and help him to eat. And, strange to say, Arvilly wuzn't skairt a mite — she ruther enjoyed it of the two ; for before two days wuz over she owned up that if there wuz any extra good bits she'd ruther he'd have 'em than to have 'em herself. The world is full of miracles ; Sauls breathin' out vengeance are dropped down senseless by the power of Heaven. Pilgrim Arvilly's displayin' abroad the "Wild, Wicked, and Warlike Deeds of Man" are struck down helpless and mute by the power of Love. In less than three days she had promised to marry Cephus in the Fall. 338 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. He had a good little property- — his wife had been dead two years. His hired girl— a shiftless creeter — had flown the day Arvilly got there, and nothin' stood in the way of marriage and happiness. Arvilly's heart yearned over the little girl that had never walked a step, and she loved her Pa, and the Pa loved her. When she sot off from there a week later— for she wuz bound to see the Fair, and quiltin' had to be done, and clothin' made up before marriage, no matter how much Cephus plead for haste — he had got well enough to carry her ten milds to the cars, and she had come the rest of the way by rail ; and she said, bein' kinder sick of canvassin' for that old book, she had tackled this new one, and wuz havin' real good luck with it. Wall, I wuz tickled enough for Arvilly, and I made up my mind then and there to give her a good linen table-cloth and a pair of new woollen sheets for a weddin' present, and I subscribed for the " Precious Performances" on the spot. I didn't spoze that I should care much about readin' "The Peaceful, Prosperous, and Precious Performances of Man" — But I bought it to help her along. I knew that she would have to buy her "true so" (that is French, and means weddin' clothes), and 1 thought SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 339 every little helped ; but she said that it wuz " A be-a-u-tiful book, so full of man's noble deeds." "Wall," sez I, "you know that I always told you that you run men too much." " But," sez she, " I never drempt that men wuz such lovely creeters." "Oh, wall," sez I, "as for that, men have their spells of loveliness, jest like female mortals, and their spells of actin', like the old Harry." " Oh, no," sez she ; " they are a beautiful race of bein's, almost perfect." "Wall," sez I, "I hope your opinion will hold out." But I don't spoze it will. Six months of mar- ried life— dry days, and wet ones, meals on time, and meals late, insufficient kindlin' wood, washin' days, and cleanin' house will modify her transports ; but I wouldn't put no dampers onto her. I merely sez, " Oh, yes, Arvillv, men are likely creeters more'n half the time, and considerable agreeable." "Agreeable!" sez she ;" they're almost divine." Arvilly always wuz most too ramptious in every- thing she undertook ; she never loved to wander down the sweet, calm plains of Megumness, as I do. And then I spoze Cephus made everything of her, and it wuz a real rarity to her to be made on and tlattered up by a good-look in' man. 340 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. But well he might make of her — he will be doin' dretful well to git Arvilly ; she's a good worker and calculator, and her principles are like brass and iron for soundness ; and she's real good-lookin', too, now — looks 'leven years younger, or ten and a half, anyway. But jest as Arvilly and I wuz a-withdrawin' our- selves from each other, I sez, " Arvilly, have you been to the Fair Sun- days ?" " No," sez she ; " I didn't lay out to, for I could go week days. ' The Precious Performances ' yields money to spare to take me there week days, and you know that I only wanted it open for them that couldn't git there any day but Sundays. And also," sez she honestly, " I talked a good deal, bein' so mad at the Nation for makin' such dretful hard work partakin' of a gnat, and then swallerin' down Barnum's hull circus, side-shows and all. "Why didn't the Nation shet up the saloons?" sez she, in bitter axents. " Folks can have their doubts about Sunday openin' bein' wicked, but the Lord sez expressly that 'no drunkard can inherit Heaven.' The nation wuz so anxious to set pat- terns before the young — why wuzn't it afraid to turn human bein's into fiends before 'em, liable to shoot SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 341 down these dear young folks, or lead 'em into paths worse than death ? "And it wuz so anxious to show off well before foreign nations. Wuz it any prettier sight to reel round before 'em, drunk as a fool, a-committin' sui- cide, and rapinin', and murder, and actin' ? I wuz so mad," sez Arvilly, "that I felt ugly, and spoze I talked so." "Wall," sez I, "they've acted dretful queer about Sunday openin', take it from first to last. "But," sez I, reasonably, " takin' such a dretful big thing onto their hands to manage would be apt to make folks act queer. " I spoze," sez I, fallin' a little ways into oritory — " I spoze that if Josiah and me had took a rinoster- horse to board durin' the heated term, our actions would often be termed queer by our neighbors. To begin with, it's bein' such new business to us, we shouldn't know what to feed it, to agree with its immense stomach ; we should, I dare presoom to say, try experiments with it before we got the hang of its feed, and peek through the barn doors dretful curious at it to see how it wuz a-actin', and how its food wuz agreein' with it. "We shouldn't dast to ride it to water, or holler at it, as if it wuz a calf ; and if it should happen to break loose, Heaven knows what we should do with it ! 342 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. " And I spoze every fence would be full of neigh- bors a-standin 1 sale on their own solid premises, a-hollerin' out to us what to do, and every one on 'em mad as hens if we didn't foller their directions. " Some on 'em hollerin' to us to mount up on it and ride it hack into the barn, when they knew that it would tear us to pieces if we went nigh it when it wuz mad. And some on 'em orderin' us to git rid of it. And how could we dispose of a ragin' rinosterhorse at a minute's notice ? And some on 'em a-yellin' at us to kill it. I low could we kill it, when the creeter didn't belong to us? " And some on 'em, not realizin' that our rinos- terhorse boardin' wuz new business to us, and we wuz liable to make mistakes, standin' up on the ruff of their own barns, safe and sound, a-readin' the Bible to us and warnin' us, and we tuggin' away and swettin' with this wild creeter on our hands, and tryin' to do the best we could with it. "And then, right on top of this, Jonesville might serve a injunction onto us, that we had no right to let such a dangerous creeter into the precincts of Jonesville ; and then we, feelin' kinder sorry, mebby, that we had ondertook the job, tried to git rid on't ; and the rinosterhorse owner serves another injunc- tion on us, makin' us keep it, savin' that he'd paid its board in advance, and that he wouldn't take it back. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 343 "And there we would be, all wore out with our job, and not pleasin' nobody, nor nothin', but makin' the hull caboodle mad as hens at us ; and we a-not meanin' any hurt, none of the time, a-meanin' well towards Jonesville and rinosterhorses. Wouldn't we be in a situation to be pitied, Arvilly ?" "Yes," sez she, "it is jest so as I tell you; Cephus sez that he won't wait a minute longer than September." I see how it wuz — she hadn't hearn a word of my remarkable eloquence. Like all the rest, she had vivid idees about Sunday elosin' ; but come to the p'int, her own affairs wuz of the most consequence. She forgot all about the struggles of the Directors in their efforts to do what wuz right and best, in thoughts of Cephus. But I considered it human nater, and forgive her. Wall, after Arvilly left me, I returned agin to the sights in the noble Liberal Arts Department, and see everything else that wuz riz up and helpful ; and finding out everything about the land and sea, the I leavens, and depths below the earth and seas. And oh, what queer, queer feelin's that sight gin me; they hain't to be described upon, and 1 hain't a-goin' to try to ; it would be too much — too much for the public to hear about it, and for me to re- 344 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. cord 'em ; though there wuz plenty of weights, measures, and balances, if I had tried to tackle the job of weighin' 'em. Now, what I have said of the liberal part, and especially of the trainin' of the young, you can see plain that it wuz as much more interestin' than the manafactures part as the soul is superior to the body, or eternity is longer than time. So, the world bein' such a sort of a curious place, it didn't surprise me a mite to see that this depart- ment, that wuz the most important in the hull Columbian World's Fair, wuz dretful cramped for room, and kinder put away up-stairs. For, as I sez to myself, the old world has such dretful curious kinks in it, it didn't surprise me a mite to have this department sort o' squeezed into the end o' one buildin', and up-stairs kinder, while the display for horned cattle covered over sixty acres. A good many farmers are as careful agin of their blooded stock as they are of the welfare of their wives and children. They will put work and hardship on the mother of their children that they wouldn't think of darin' to venture with their cows with a pedigree, for they would say, such overwork will injure the calf. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 345 How is it with their own children, when the delicate mother does all the household drudgery of a farm, and milks seven or eight cows night and mornin' ? Toilin' till late bedtime, gettin' up before half rested, and takin' up agin the hard toil till the little feeble child-life is born into the world. How is it with the mother and the child? For answer, I refer you to countless newspaper files, under the headin' of " mysterious dispensa- tions of Providence," and to old solitary church- yards, and to the insane statisticks of the country. The bereaved husband, a-blamin' Providence, but takin' some comfort in the thought that " the Lord loveth whom He chasteneth," walks out under his mournin' weed, and pats the sleek sides of his Alderney cow, and its fat, healthy young one, and ponders on how he could improve their condition, and better the stock, and mebby has passin' thoughts on some bloomin' young girl, who he could persuade to try the fate of the first. And he'll have no trouble in doin' so — not at all ; putty is hard in comparison to wimmin's heads and hearts, sometimes. But I am, indeed, eppisodin', and to resoom, and proceed. In this world, where- the material, the practical, 346 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. so oft overshadows the spiritual, it didn't surprise me a mite to have this noble — noble liberal art display crowded back by less riz up and exalted ones. And oh, what curious things we did see in this Hall of Wonders — curious as a dog, and curiouser. The New South Wales exhibit in the west gallery is awful big, and divided into five courts, and all full of Beauty and Use. These Australians are pert and kinder sassy ; they look on our country as old, and wore out— some as we look at our Ma Country. But their exhibit is a wonderful one — exhibit of their mines, that they say are a-goin' to be the rich- est in the World. And lots of pictures showin' their strange, melan- choly Australian scenery. And their big trees. Why, one of these trees, they say, is the biggest yet discovered in the World ; it is 400 and 80 feet high. And it wuz here that I see the very queerest thing that I ever did see in my life ; it wuz in their collec- tion of strange stuffed birds, and animals which wuz large, and complete, and rangin' from the Emu down to a pure white hummin'-bird. It wuz here that I see this Thing that Scien- tists hain't never classified ; it is about the size SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR 347 of a beaver — has fur like a seal, eves like a fish, is web-footed, lavs eggs, and hatches its young and lives in the water. It is called a Platypus — there wux four on 'em. Queer creeter as I ever see. No wonder that Scientists furled their speetaeles in front of it, and sot down discouraged. Wall, we hung round there till most night, and Josiah and I went home as tired as two dogs, and tireder. And we both gin in that we hadn't seen nothin' to what we might have seen there ; as you may say, we hadn't done any more justice to the contents of that buildin' than we would if we had undertook to count the slate-stuns in our old creek back of our house clear from Jonesville to Zoar — ■ more'n five miles of clear slate-stun. What could we do to it in one day ? But fatigue and hunger — on Josiah's part, a pran- cin' team — bore us away, and we went home in pretty good sperits after all, though some late. Miss Plank had a good supper. Wewuzlate, but she had kept it warm for us — some briled chicken, and some green peas, and a light nice puddin', and other things aecordin' ; and Josiah did indeed do justice to it. CHAPTER XIII. Wall, the next day after our visit to the Maria- factures and Liberal Arts Buildin', I told Josiah to- day I wouldn't put it off a minute longer, I wuz goin' to see the Convent of La Rabida; and sez I, " I feel mortified and ashamed to think I hain't been before." Sez I, "What would Christopher Columbus say to think I had slighted him all this time if he knew on't P And Josiah said "he guessed I wouldn't git into any trouble with Columbus about it, after he'd been dead four hundred years." "Wall," sez I, " I don't spoze I would, but I d'no but folkses feelin's can be hurt if their bodies have moved away from earth. I d'no anything about it, nor you don't, Josiah Allen." " Wall," he said, " he wouldn't be afraid to ven- ter it." He wanted to go to the Live-Stock Exhibit that day — wanted to like a dog. But I persuaded him off the notion, and I don't know but I jest as soon tell how I clone it. I see Columbus's feelin's wouldn't do, and so SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 349 forth, nor sentiment, nor spirituality, don't appeal to Josiah Allen nothin' as vittles do. So I told him, what wuz indeed the truth, that a restaurant was nigh there where delicious food could be obtained at very low prices. Fie yielded instantly, and sez he, " It hain't hardly fair, when Christopher is the cause of all these doin's, that he should be slighted so by us." And I sez, " No, indeed !" so we went directly there by the nearest way, which wuz partly by land and partly by water; and as our boat sailed on through the waves under the brilliant sunshine and the grandeur of eighteen ninety-three, did it not make me think of Him, weary, despairin', misun- derstood, with his soul all hemmed in by envious and malicious foes, so that there wuz but one open path for him to soar in, and that wuz upward, as his boat crept and felt its way along through the night, and storm, and oncertainty of 1492. Wall, anon or about that time, we drew near the place where I wanted to be. The Convent of La Rabida is a little to the east of Agricultural Hall, a sort of a inlet lake that feeds a long portion of the grand canal. A promontory is formed by the meetin' of the two waters, and all round this point of land, risin' to a height of twenty-two feet, is a rough stun wall. 350 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. This wall is a reproduction of the dangerous coast of Spain, and back on this rise of ground can be seen the Convent of La Rabida, a fac-simile, or, as you might say, a similer fact, a exact reproduc- tion of the convent where Columbus planned out his voyage to the new world. Yes, within these walls wuz born the great and darin' scheme of Columbus — a great birth indeed ; only next to us in eternal consequences to the birth in the manger. It stands jest as it ort to, a-facin' the risin' sun. A low, eight-sided cupalo surmounts the choir space inside the chapel, and above the nave rises the balcony. On three sides of a broad, open court are the lonesome cloisters in which the Monks knelt in their ceaseless prayers. The chapel floor is a little higher than the court and cloisters, and is paved with bricks. It wuz at this very convent door that Columbus arrived heartsore and weary after seven years' fruit- less labor in the cause he held so clost to his heart. Seven long years that he had spent beggin' and importunin' for help to carry out his Heaven-sent visions. A livin' light shinin' in his sad eyes, and he couldn't git anybody else to see it. Almost naked. IT-SORE, HEART-SORE, HE ARRIVED AT THE CONVENT GATE. 35-2 SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. The constant washin' of new seas on new shores, and he couldn't git anybody to hear 'em. A constant glow, prophetic and ardent, longin' to carry the religion of Christ into a new land that he knew wuz awaitin' him, hut everybody else deaf and dumb to his heart-sick longin's. Oh, 1 thought to myself as I stood there, if that poor creeter could only had a few of the gorgeous banners that wuz waved out to the air, enough to clothe an army ; if he could have only had enough of 'em to made him a hull shirt ; if he could have had enough of the banquets spread to his memory, enough to feed all the armies of the earth ; if he could have a slice of bread and a good cup of tea out of 'em, how glad I would be, and how glad he would have been ! But it wuzn't to be, it wuzn't to be. Hungry and in rags, almost naked, foot-sore, heart-sore, he arrived at the convent gate, to ask food and shelter for himself and child. It wuz here that he found an asylum for a few years, carryin' on his plans, makin' out new argu- ments, stronger, mebby, than he had argued with for seven stiddy years, and I should a thought them old arguments must have been wore out. It wuz in one of the rooms of the convent that he met the Monks in debate, and also argued SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 353 back and forth with Garcia Fernandez and Alonzo Penzen, gettin' the better of Alonzo every time, but makin' it up to him afterwards by lettin' him com- mand one of the vessels of his fleet. It wuz from here the superior of the convent, won over by Columbuses eloquence, went for audience with the Queen, and from it Columbus wuz summoned to appear at court. In this very convent he made his preparations for his voyage, and on the mornin' he sailed from Palos he worshipped God in this little chapel. What visions riz up before his eyes as he knelt on the brick floor of that little chapel, jest ready to leave the certainty and sail out into the oncer- tainty, leavin' the oncertainty and goin' out into the certainty ! A curious prayer that must have been, and a riz up one. In that prayer, in the confidence and aspiration of that one man, lay the hull new world. The hope, the freedom, the liberty, the enlightenment of a globe, jest riz up on the breath of that one prayer. A momentious prayer as wuz ever riz up on earth. But the stun walls didn't give no heed to it, and I dare say that Alonzo and the rest wuz sick a-waitin' for him, and wanted to cut it short. 354 SA.MANTHA AT THE W ,D'S FAIR. Yes, Columbus must have had emotions in this convent as hefty and as soarin' as they make, and truly they must have been immense to gone ahead of mine, as I stood there and thought on him, what he had done and what he had suffered. Why, I had more'n a hundred and twenty-five or thirty a minute right along, and I don't know hut more. When I sec them relies of that noble crceter, paper that he had had his own hand on, that his own eyes had looked at, his own brain had dictated, every one of 'em full of the ar- dentcy and earnestness of his religion — why, they increased the number and fre- quency of my emotions to a almost alarm- in' extent. Here are twenty-nine manuscripts all in his own hand. They are truly worth more than their weight in gold — they are worth their weight in diamonds. Amongst the most priceless manuscripts and documents is the original of the contract made with the Soverigns of Spain before his first voyage, under which Columbus made his first voyage to America. The most remarkable contract that wuz ever drawn, in which the Soverigns of Spain guaranteed to Columbus and his heirs forever one eighth of all SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 355 that might be produced of any character whatever in any land he might discover, and appinted him and his descendants perpetual rulers over such lands, with the title of Viceroy. I looked at the contract, and then thought of how Columbus died in poverty and disgrace, and now, four hundred years after his death, the world a-spendin' twenty million to honor his memory. A sense of the folly and the strangeness of all things come over me like a liood, and I bent my head in shame to think I belonged to a race of bein's so ongrateful, and so lyin', and everything else. I thought of that humble grave where a broken heart hid itself four hundred years ago, and then I looked out towards that matchless White City of gorgeous palaces riz up to his honor four hundred years too late ; and a sense of the futility of all things, the pity of it, the vanity of all things here below, swept over me, and instinctively I lay holt of my pardner's arm, and thought for a minute I must leave the buildin' ; but I thought better on't, and he thought I laid holt of his arm as a mark of affection. And I didn't, ondeceive him in it. Then there is Columbuses commission as Ad- miral of the Ocean Seas. His correspondence with Ferdinand and Isabella 356 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. before and after his discover}-, and a host of other invaluable papers loaned by the Spanish Goverment and the living descendants of Columbus in Spain. And there is pieces of the house his father-in-law built for him — a cane made from one of the jistes, and the shutters of one of the windows. Columbuses own hand may have opened them shutters ! O my heart ! think on't. And then there wuz the original copy of the first books relatin' to America, over one hundred of 'em, obtained from the Vatican at Rome, and museums, and libraries, in London, and Paris, and Madrid, and Washington, D. C. They are writ by Lords, and Cardinals, and Bishops, way back as fur as four- teen hundred and ninety-three. Then there wuz quaint maps and charts of the newly discovered country, lookin' some as our first maps would of Mars, if the United States had made up its mixid to annex that planet, and Uncle Sam had jest begun to lay it out into countries. Then there are the portraits of Columbus. Good creeter ! it seemed a pity to see so many of 'em — his enemies might keep right on abusin' him, and say that he wuz double-faced, or sixty or eighty faced, when I know, and they all oil to know, that he wuz straightforward and stiddv as the sun. Poor creeter ! it wuz too bad that there should be so many of 'em. P<>< PR i 1.1 I.I ER ! IT Wi !AIJ THAI' THERE SHOULD BE SO MANY OF 'KM. 35§ SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Then there are models and photographs of statutes and monuments of him, and the very stun and clay that them tall monuments is made of, mebby they are the very stuns that hurt his bare feet, and the clay the very same his tears had fell on, as he'd throw him- self down heart-weary on his lonesome pilgrimages. I dare presoom to say that he would lay his head down under some wayside tree and cry — I hain't a doubt on't. When I thought it over, how much had been said about Columbus even durin' the last year in Jones- ville and Chicago, to say nothin' about the rest of the world, it wuz a treat indeed to see the first printed allusion that wuz ever made to Columbus, about three months after Columbus arrived in Portugal, March fifteenth, fourteen hundred and ninety-three. It was writ by Mr. Carvugal, Spanish Cardinal. In it Mr. Carvugal says— " And Christ placed under their rule (Ferdinand and Isabella) the Fortunate Islands." I sez to Josiah, " I guess if Mr. Carvugal was sot down here to-day, and see what he would see here, he would be apt to think indeed they wuz Fortu- nate Islands." But as I said that I heard a voice a-sayin' — "Who is Mr. Carvugal, Samantha ?" SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 359 I recognized the voice, and I sez, " Why, Irena Flanders, is it you ? I have been to see you ; I hearn you wuz sick." " Yes," sez she, " I wuz beat out, and I thought I couldn't stand it ; but I feel better to-day, so we have been to the Forestry Buildin', and thought we would come in here." But I see that she didn't feel as I did about the immortal relics, but she kinder pretended to, as folks will ; and Elam and Josiah went to talkin' about hayin', and wondered how the crops wuz a-gittin' along in Jonesville. But I kep on a-lookin' round and listenin' to Irena's remarks about her symptoms with one half of my mind, or about half, and examinin' the relics with the other half. There wuz a little Latin book with queer wood- cuts, " Concernin' Islands lately discovered," pub- lished in Switzerland in 1494; under the title it begun — " Christopher Colum — " It made me mad to hear that good, noble creeter's name cut off and demeaned, and I told Irena so. And she sez, "That's what little Benjy calls our old white duck ; his name is Columbus, but he calls it Colum." She is a great duck-raiser; but 1 didn't thank her for alludin' to barn-yard fowls in such a time as this. 360 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Wall, there wuz the first life of Columbus ever writ, by his son Farnendo. And a book relatin' to the namin' of America. I thought it would been a good plan if there had been a few more about that, and had named it Columbia— jest what it ort to be, and not let another man take the honor that should have been Christopher's. But I meditated on what a queer place this old world wuz, and how nateral for one man to toil and work, and another step in and take the pay for it ; so it didn't surprise me a mite, but it madded me some. Then there wuz the histories of the different cities where he wuz born, and the different places where his bones repose. Poor creeter ! they fit then because they didn't want his bones, and they starved him so that he wuzn't much besides bones, and they didn't want his bones anyway, and they put chains onto them poor old bones, and led 'em off to prison. And now hull cities and countries would hold it their chief honor to lie about it, and claim the credit of givin' 'em burial. O dear suz ! O dear me ! Wall, there wuz one of the anchors, and the cam vas used by Columbus on board his flag-ship. The verv canvas that the wind swelled out and SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 361 wafted the great Discoverer. O my heart, think on't ! And then there wuz the ruins of the little town of Isabella, the first established in the new world, brung lately from San Domingo by a man-of-war. And then there wuz the first church bell that ever rung in .America, presented to the town of Isabella by King Ferdinand. Oh, if I could have swung out with that old bell, and my senses could have took in the sights and seens the sound had echoed over ! What a sight — what a sight it would have been ! Ringin' out barbarism and ringin' in the newer religion ; ringin' out, as time went on, old simple ways, and idees — mebby bringin' in barbarous ways ; swingin' back and forth, to and fro ; ringin' in now, I hope and pray, the era of love and justice, good- will to man and woman. Wall, I wuz almost lost in my thoughts in hangin' over that old bell. It had took me back into the dim old green forest isles and onbroken wilderness, when I heard a bystander a-sayin' to another one — "There is Columbuses relations ; there is the Duke of Veragua." And on lookin' up, I indeed see Columbuses own relation on his own side, with his wife and daughter. 362 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. The relation on Columbuses side wuz a middlin good-lookin' and a good-natered look in' man, no taller than Josiah, with blue eves, gray hair, and short whiskers. His wife wuz a good-lookin', plump woman, some younger apparently than he wuz, and the daughter wuz pretty and fresh-lookin' as a pink rose. I liked their looks first rati'. And jest the minute my eyes fell on 'cm, so quiek my intellect moves, I knew what was incumbent on me to do. It wuz my place, it would be expected of me — I must welcome them to America ; T must, in the name of my own dignity, and the power of the Nation, gin 'em the freedom of Jonesville. I must not slight them for their own sakes, and their noble ancestors. One human weakness might be discovered in me by a clost observer in that rapt hour : I didn't really know how r to address the wife of the Duke. And I whispered to Irena Flanders, and, sez I, "If a man is a duke, what would his wife be called ?" Sez I, "She'd feel hurt if I slighted her." And sez she, "If one is a duke, the other would naterally be called a drake." I knew better than that — she hain't any too smart by nater, and her mind runs to fowls, what there is of it. 364 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But my Josiah heard the inquiry, and sez he — " I should call her a duck ;" and he continued, with his eyes riveted on the beautiful face of the Duke's daughter — " That pretty girl is a duck, and no mistake." But I sez, " Hush ; that would be too familiar and also too rural." I hain't ashamed of the country — no, indeed, I am proud on't ; still 1 knew that it wuz, specially in June, noted for its tender greenness. And sez I, " I'll trust to the hour to inspire me; I'll sail out as his great ancestor did, and trust to Providence to help me out." So I advanced onto 'em, and I thought, as I went, if you call a man by the hull of his name he hadn't ort to complain ; so I sez with a deep curchey — I knew a plain curchey wouldn't do justice to the occasion. So I gracefully took hold of my alpaca skirt with both hands and held it out slightly, and curchied from ten to fourteen inches, I should judge. I wanted it deep enough to show the profound esteem and honor in which I held him, and not deep enough so's to give him the false idee that I wuz a professional dancer, or opera singer, or any- thing of that sort. I judged that mv curchey wuz jest about right. I SALUTE YOU IN THE NAME OF JONESVILLE AND AMERICA. $66 SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Imegatly after my curchey 1 sez, " Don Chris- tobel Colon De Toledo De La Cerda Y Gante," and then I paused for breath, while the world waited — " I welcome yon to this country — T salute you in the name of Jonesville and America." And then agin T made that noble, beautiful curchey. He bowed so low that if a basin of water had been sot on his back it would have run down over his head. Sez I, "The man in whose veins flows a drop of the precious blood of the Hero who discovered us is near and dear to the heart of the new world." Sez I, "I feel that we can't do too much to honor you, and I hereby offer you the freedom of Jonesville." And sez I, " I would have brung it in a paper collar box if I'd thought on't, but I hope you will overlook the omission, and take it verbal." Agin he bowed that dretful perlite, courteous bow, and agin I put in that noble curchey. It wuz a hour long to be remembered by any one who wuz fortunate enough to witness it; and sez he — " I am sensible of the distinguished honor you do me, Madam ; accept my profound thanks." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 367 I then turned to his wife, and sez I, " Miss Chris- tobel Colon Toledo Ohio — I got kinder mixed up here by my emotions, and the efforts my eurehevs had eost me ; I hadn't ort to mentioned the word Ohio. But I waded out agin — " De La Cerda Y Gante- — "As a pardner of Columbus, and also as a female woman, I bid you also welcome to America in the name of woman, and 1 tender to you also the free- dom of Jonesville, and Loontown, and Zoar. "And you," sez 1, " Honorable Maria Del Pillow Colon V Aguilera — " You sweet little creeter you, I'd love to have you come and stay with me a week right along, you pretty thing." Sez I, " How proud your Grandpa would be of you if he wuz here !" My feelin's had carried me away, and I felt that I had lost the formal, polite tone of etiquette that I had intended to cany on through the inter- view. But she wuz so awful pretty, T couldn't help it ; but T felt that it wuz best to terminate it, so 1 bowed low, a-holdin' out my alpaca skirt kinder noble in one hand and my green veil in the other, some like a banner, and backed off. The}' too bowed deep, and sorter backed off too. Oh, what a hour for America ! 36S SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Josiali put out his arm anxiously, for J wuz in- deed a-movin' backwards into a glass ease of relics, and the great seen terminated. Miss Flanders and Elam had gone — they shrunk from publicity. I guess they wuz afraid it wuz too great a job, the ceremony attendin' our givin' these noble foreigners the freedom of our native town. But they no need to. A willin' mind makes a light job. It had been gin to 'em, and gin well, too. Wall, Josiah and I didn't stay very much longer. I'd have been glad to seen the Princess sent out from Spain to our doin's, and I know she will feel it, not seein' of me. She wuzn't there, but I thought of her as I wended my way out, as I looked over the grandeur of the seen that her female ancestor had rendered possible. Thinkses I, she must have different feelin's from what her folks did in fourteen hundred. Then how loath they wuz to even listen to Colum- buses pathetic appeals and prayers ! But they did at last touch the heart of a woman. That woman be- lieved him, while the rest of Spain sneered at him. Had she lived, Columbus wouldn't have been sent to prison in chains. No, indeed ! But she passed away, and Spain misused him. But now they send SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 369 their royalties to meet with all the kings and queens of the earth to bow down to his memory. As we wended out, the caravels lay there in the calm water — the Santa Maria, the Pinta, and the Nina, all becalmed in front of the convent. No more rough seas in front of 'em ; they furl their sails in the sunlight of success. All is glory, all is rejoicing, all is praise. Four hundred years after the brave soul that planned and accomplished it all died heart-broken and in chains, despised and rejected by men, perse- cuted by his enemies, betrayed by his friends. True, brave heart, I wonder if the (rod he trusted in, and tried to honor, lets him come back on some fair mornin' or cloudless moonlight evenin', and look down and see what the nations are savin' and doin' for him in eighteen hundred and ninety-three ! I don't know, nor Josiah don't. But as T stood a-thinkin' of this, the sun come out from under a cloud and lit up the caravels with its golden light, and lay on the water like a long, shinin' path leadin' into glory. And a light breeze stirred the white sails of the Santa Maria, some as though it wuz a-goin' to set sail agin. And the shadders almost seemed alive that lay on the narrer deck. 370 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. After we left La Rabida, Josiah wanted to go and see the exhibit called Man and his Works. Sez he, " I'll show you now, Samantha, what our works are. I'll show you the most beautiful and august exposition on the grounds." Sez he, " You boasted high about wimmen's doin's, and they vvuz fair," sez he, "what 1 call fair to middlin'. But in this you'll see grandeur and True Greatness." Josiah didn't know a thing about the show, only what he gathered from its name ; and feelin' as he did about himself and his seet, he naterally expeeted wonders. So, leanin' on the arm of Justice, I accompa- nied him into the buildin', which wuzn't fur from La Rabida. But almost the first room we went into, Josiah almost swooned at the sight, and I clung to his arm instinctively. There we wuz amongst more than three thousand skeletons and skulls. Why, the goose pimples that rose on me didn't subside till most night. And in the very next room wuz a collection of mummies, the humbliest ones that I ever sot my eyes on in my hull life — two or three hundred on 'em, from Peru, Utah, New Mexico, Egypt, British Columbia, etc., etc. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 3/1 When Josiah's eyes fell onto 'em, my poor pardner sez, " Samantha, less be a-goin'." Sez I, "Are you satisfied, Josiah Allen, with the Works of Man?" And he advised me strong — " Not to make a lunv and a idiot of myself." And sez he, " Dura it all, why do they call it the works of man ? There is as many wimmen amongst them dum skeletons as men, I'll bet a cent." Wall, we went into another room and found a very interestin' exhibit — the measurements of heads : long-headed folks and short-headed ones ; and measurements of children's heads who wuz educated, and the heads of savage children, showin' the influence that moral trainin' has on the brains of boys and girls. Wall, it would take weeks to examine all we see there — the remains of the Aborigines, the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians. We could see by them relics how they lived — their religions, their domestic life, their arts, and their industries. And then we see photographs by the hullsale of mounds and ruins from all over the world. Why, we see so many pictures of ruins, that Josiah said that " he felt almost ruined." And I sez, "That must come from the inside, Josiah. It hadn't ort to make you feel so." 3/2 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. And then we see all sorts of things to illustrate the games that these old ruined folks used to play, and their religions they believed in — idols, and clay altars, and things ; and once, when I wuz a-tryin' to look calm at the very meanest-lookin' idol that I ever laid eyes on, Sez Josiah, "The folks that would try to worship such alookin' thing as that ort to be ruined." And I whispered back, "If the secret things that folks worship to-day could be materialized, they would look enough sight worse than this." Sez I, " How would the mammon of Greed look carved in stun, or the beast of Intemperance ?" " Oh !" sez he, "bring in your dum temperance talk everywhere, will you? I should think we wuz in a bad enough place here to let your ears rest, anyway." "Wall," sez I, "then don't run down folks that couldn't answer back for ten thousand years." But truly we wuz in a bad place, if humbliness is bad, for them idols did beat all, and then there wuz a almost endless display of amulets, charms, totems, and other things that they used to carry on their religious meetin's with, or what they called religion. And then we see some strange clay altars contain- in' cremated human bein's. Here Josiah hunched me agin — SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 373 " You feel dretful cut up if you hear any one speak aginst these old creeters, but what do you think of that ?" sez he, a-pintin' to the burnt bodies. Sez he, " Most likely them bodies wuz victims that wuz killed on their dum altars — dum 'em !" " Yes," sez I, " but we of the nineteenth century slay two hundred thousand victims every year on the altar of Mammon, and Intemperance." " Keep it up, will you — keep a preachin' !" sez he, and his tone wuz bitter and voyalent in the ex- treme. And here he turned his back on me and went to examine some of the various games of all countries, such as cards, dice, dominoes, checkers, etc., etc. Which shows that in that savage age, as well as in our too civilized one, amusements wuz a part of their daily life. Wall, it wuz all dretful interestin' to me, though Skairfulness wuz present with us, and goose pimples wuz abroad. And out-doors the exhibit wuz jest as fasci- natin'. Along the shores of the pond are grouped tribes of Indians from North America. They live in their primitive huts and tents, and there we see their rude boats and canoes. New York contributes a council 374 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. house and a bark lodge once used by the once powerful Iroquois confederation. And, poor things ! where be they now ? Passed away. Their canoes have gone down the stream of Time, and gone down the Falls out of sight. But to resoom. Wall, seein' they wuz right there, we went to see the ruins of Yucatan — they wuz only a few steps away. Now, I never had paid any attention to Yucatan. I had always seen it on the map of Mexico, a little strip of land a-runnin' out into the water, and wash- ed by the waves on both sides. But, good land ! I would have paid more attention to it if I had known that down deep under its forests, where they had lain for more than a thousand years, wuz the ruins of a vast city, with its castles and monuments wrought in marble, and fashioned with highest beauty and art. Whose hands had wrought them marble columns, and carved facades ? The silence of a thousand years lays between my question and its true answer. JOSIAH TURNED HIS BACK ON ME. SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 375 I can't tell who they wuz, where they come from, or where they went to. But the pieces of soulless stun remain for us to marvel over, when the livin' hands that wrought these have vanished forever. Curious, very. But mebby some magnetizm still hangs about them hoary old walls that has the power to draw their founders from their new home, wherever it is now. Mebby them old Yucatanners come down in a shadder sloop and lay off over aginst them ruins, and enjoy themselves first-rate. Here too is the city of the Cliff Dwellers — the most wonderful city I ever see or ever expect to see. There towers up a mountain made to look exactly like Battle Mountain, where these ruins are found — the homes and abidin' place of a race so much older than the Mexican and Peru old ones that they seem like folks of last week — almost like babies. The hull of these buildin's which is called Cliff Palace is over two hundred feet long, and the rooms look pretty much all alike. They wuz round rooms mostly, with a hole in the floor for a lire- place, and stun seats a-runnin' clear round the room, and I'd a gin a dollar bill if 1 could a seen a-settin' in them seats the ones that used to set there — if I 3/6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. could seen 'em sot down there in Jackson Park, and its marvels, and I could have hearn 'era tell what Old World w r onders they had seen, and what they had felt and suffered — the beliefs of that old time ; the laws that governed 'em, or that didn't govern 'em ; their friends and their enemies ; the strange animals that lurked round 'em ; the won- derful flowers and vegetation — in short, if I could a sot down and neighbored with 'em, I would a gin, I believe my soul, as much as a dollar and thirty- five cents. The rooms are about six feet high, and they wuz like me in one thing — they didn't care so much for ornament as they did for solid foundation. The only ornament I see in any of the rooms wuz some kinder wavin' streaks of red paint. But, oh ! how solid the housen wuz, how firm the underpinnin'. There wuz some stun towers and some winders, and oh ! how I do wish I could seen what them Old differs looked out on when they rested their arms on the stun winder sills and looked down on the deep valley below. Children a-lookin' out for pleasure mebby ; older ones a-lookin' for Happiness and Ambition like as not, the aged ones a-leanin' their tired arms on the hard stun, while the settin' sun lit up their white locks, and a-lookin' for rest. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S PAIR. ^J The cliffs are a good many colors, and each a good-lookin' one. One thing struck me in all the housen, and made me think that though the Cliff Dwellers wuz older than Abraham or Moses, yet if I could see some of them female differs I could neighbor with 'em like sisters. They did love closets so well, and that made 'em so congenial to me. I never had half closets enough, and I don't believe any woman did if she would tell the truth. There wuz sights of closets all closed up with good slab doors, some like grave-stuns. I shouldn't have liked that so well, to had to heave down that heavy slab every time that I wanted a teacup, but mebby they didn't drink tea. I spoze they kep their strange-lookin' pottery there, and I presoom the wimmen prided them- selves on havin' more of them jars than a neighbor female differ did. Then there are farmin' imple- ments, and sandals, and leggins, and weapons, and baby boards — and didn't I wish that I could ketch sight of one of them babies ! The bodies of the dead wuz wrapped in four dif- ferent winders — first in fine cloth, then a robe of turkey feathers wove with Yucca fibre, then a mat- tin', and then a wrap made of reeds. 3/8 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. The mummies found wrapped in these grave- clothes are more perfect than any found in Egypt, the hot, dry air of Colorado a-doin' its best to keep folks alive, and then after they are dead, a-keepin' 'em so as long as it can. There wuz one, a woman with pretty figure, and small hands and feet, and soft, light-colored hair. What wuz she a-thinkin' on as she done up that foretop or braided that back hair ? Did any hand ever lay on that soft, shinin' hair in caresses? I presoom more than like as not there had. Her mother's, anyway, and mebby a lover's, sence the fashion of love is older than the pyramids enough sight — old as Adam, and before that Love wuz. For Love thought out the World. By her side wuz a jar with some seeds in it — probable the hand of Love put it there to sustain her on her long journey. Wall, the centuries have gone by sence she sot out for the Land of Sperits, but the seeds are there yet. She didn't need 'em. These seeds are in good shape, but they won't sprout. That shows plain how much older these mummies are than the Egyptian ones, for the seeds found by them will sprout and grow, but these are too old — the life in the seeds is gone, as well as the life in the dead forms by 'em, centuries ago, mebby. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 379 Wall, it wuz a sight— a sight to see that city, and then to see a-windin' up the face of the cliff the windin' trail, and the little burros a-climbin' up slowly from the valley, and the strange four-horned sheep of the Navago herds a-grazin' amongst the high rocks. It wuz one of the most impressive sights of all the wonderful sights of the Columbus Fair, and so I told Josiah. Wall, seein' we wuz right there, we thought we would pay attention to the Forestry Buildin'. And if I ever felt ashamed of myself, and morti- fied, I did there ; of which more anon. It wuz quite a big buildin', kinder long and low — about two and a half acres 1 ig, I should judge. Every house has its peculiarities, the same as folks do, and the peculiar kink in this house wuz it hadn't a nail or a bit of iron in it anywhere from top to bottom — bolts and pegs made of wood a-h'oldin' it together. Wall, I hadn't no idee that there wuz so many kinds of w T ood in the hull world, from Asia and Green- land 10 Jonesville, as I see there in five minutes. Of course I had been round enough in our woods and the swamp to know r that there wuz several dif- ferent kinds of wood — ellum and butnut, cedar and dog-wood, and so forth. 380 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But good land ! to see the hundreds and thou- sands of kinds that I see here made anybody feel curious, curious as a dog, and made 'em feel, too, how enormous big the world is — and how little he or she is, as the case may be. The sides of the buildin' are made of slabs, with the bark took off, and the roof is thatched with tan- bark and other barks. The winder-frames are made in the same rustic, wooden way. The main entrances are made of different kinds of wood, cut and carved first-rate. All around this buildin' is a veranda, and sup- portin' its roof is a long row of columns, each com- posed of three tree trunks twenty-five feet in length — one big one and the other two smaller. These wuz contributed by the different States and Territories and by foreign countries, each sendin' specimens of its most noted trees. And right here wuz when I felt mad at myself, mad as a settin' hen, to think how forgetful I had been, and how lackin' in what belongs to good man- ners and politeness. Why hadn't I brung some of our native Jones- ville trees, hallowed by the presence of Josiah Allen's wife ? Why hadn't I brung some of the maples from SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 381 our dooryard, that shakes out its green and crimson banners over our heads every spring and fall? Or why hadn't I brung one of the low-spreadin' apple-trees out of Mother Smith's orchard, where I used to climb in search of robins' nests in June mornin's ? Or one of the pale green willers that bent over my head as I sot on the low plank foot-bridge, with my bare feet a-swingin' off into the water as I fished for minnies with a pin-hook — The summer sky overhead, and summer in my heart. Oh, happy summer days gone by — gone by, fur back you lay in the past, and the June skies now have lost that old light and freshness. But poor children that we are, we still keep on a-fishin' with our bent pin-hooks ; we still drop our weak lines down into the depths, a-fishin' for happi- ness, for rest, for ambition, for Heaven knows what all — and now, as in the past, our hooks break or our lines float away on the eddies, and we don't catch what we are after. Poor children ! poor creeters ! But I am eppisodin', and to resoom. As I said to Josiah, what a oversight that wuz my not thinkin' of it 1 382 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Sez I, " How the nations would have prized them trees !" And sez I, "What would Christopher Columbus say if he knew on't ?" And Josiah sez, " He guessed he would have got along without 'em." " Wall," sez I, " what will America and the World's Fair think on't, my makin' such a oversight ?" And he sez, " He guessed they would worry along somehow without 'em." "Wall," sez I, " I am mortified — as mortified as a dog." And I wuz. There wuzn't any need of makin' any mistake about the trees, for there w t uz a little metal plate fastened to each tree, with the name marked on it — the common name and the high-learnt botan- ical name. But Josiah, who always has a hankerin' after fashion and show, he talked a sight to me about the " Abusex-celsa," and the " Genus-salix," and the " Fycus-sycamorus," and the " Atractylus-gummi- fera." He boasted in particular about the rarity of them trees. He said they grew in Hindoostan and on the highest peaks of the Uriah Mountains ; and he sez, " How strange that he should ever live to see em." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 3*3 He talked proud and high-learnt about 'em, till I got tired out, and pinted him to the other names of 'em. He talked proud and high-learnt about 'em. Then his feathers drooped, and sez he, " A Nor- way spruce, a wilier, a sycamore, and a pine. Dum it all, what do they want to put on such names as them onto trees that grow right in our dooryard ?" "To show off," sez I, coldly, "and to make other folks show off who have a hankerin' after fashion and display." He did not frame a reply to me — he had no frame. CHAPTER XIV. I told Josiah this mornin' I wanted to go to the place where they had flowers, and plants, and roses, and things — I felt that duty wuz a-drawin' me. For, as I told him, old Miss Mahew wanted me to get her a slip of monthly rose if they had 'em to spare — she said, "If they seemed to have quite a few, I might tackle 'em about it, and if they seemed to be kinder scrimped for varieties, she stood willin' to swap one of her best kinds for one of theirn — she said she spozed they would have as many as ten or a dozen plants of each kind." And I thought mebby I could get a tulip bulb — I had had such poor luck with mine the year before. But sez I, " Mebby they won't have none to spare — I d'no how well they be off for 'em," but I spozed mebby I would see as many as a dozen or fifteen tulips, and as many roses. He kinder wanted to go and see the plows and horse-rakes that mornin', but I capitulated with him by sayin' if he would go there first with me, anon we would go together to the horse-rake house. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 385 So we sot out the first thing for the Horticul- tural Buildin', and good land ! good land ! when we got to it I wuz jest browbeat and frustrated with the size on't — it is the biggest buildin' that wuz ever built in the world for plants and flowers. And when you jest think how big the world is, and how long it has stood, and how many houses has been built for posies from Persia and Ingy, down to Chicago and Jonesville, then you will mebby get it into your head the immense bigness on't — yes, that buildin' is two hundred and sixty thousand square feet, and every foot all filled up with beauty, and bloom, and perfume. It faces the risin' sun, as any place for flowers and plants ort to. Like all the rest of the Exposition buildin's, it has sights of ornaments and statutes. One of the most impressive statutes I see there wuz Spring Asleep. It struck so deep a blow onto my fancy that I thought on't the last thing at night, and I waked up in the night and thought on't. There never wuz a better-lookin' creeter than Spring wuz, awful big too — riz way up lofty and grand, and hantin' as our own dreams of Spring are as we set shiverin' in the Winter. Her noble face wuz perfect in its beauty, and she sot there with her arms outstretched ; and grouped all round her wuz beautiful forms lovely 386 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. wimmen, and babies, and children, all bound in slumber, but, as I should imagine, jest on the pint of wakin' up. I guess they wuz all a-dreamin' about the song of birds a-comin' back from the south land, and silky, pale green willers a-bendin' low over gurglin' brooks, and pink and white may-flowers a-hidin' under the leafy hollows of Northern hills, and the golden glow of cowslips down in the dusky brown shallows in green swamps, and white clouds a-sailin' over blue skies, and soft winds a-blowin' up from the South. They wuz asleep, but the cookoo's notes would wake 'em in a minute or two ; and then I could see by their clothes that they wuz expectin' warmer weather. It wuz a very impressive statute. Mr. Tafft done his very best — I couldn't have done as well myself — not nigh. Wall, to go through that buildin' wuz like walkin' through fairyland, if fairy- land had jest blown all out full of beauty and greenness. Right in the centre overhead, wav up, way up, is a crystal ruff made to represent the sky, and it seems to be a-glitterin' in its crystal beauty way up in the clouds ; underneath wuz the most beautiful pictures you ever see, or Josiah, or anybody. They wuz painted in Paris —not Paris in the upper end of SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 387 Lyme County, but Paris in France, way over the billowy Atlantic ; and under this magnificent dome wuz all kinds of the most beautiful palms, bamboos and tree ferns, with their shiny, feathery foliage, and big leaves. Why some of them long, feathery leaves wuz so big, if the tree wuz in the middle of our door- yard the ends of 'em would go over into the orchard — one leaf ; the idee ! Why, you would almost fancy you wuz in a tropical forest, as you looked up into the great feathery masses and leaves as big as a hull tree almost ; and risin' right in the centre wuz a mountain sixty feet high all covered with tropical verdure ; leadin' into it wuz a shady, cool grotto, where wuz all kinds of ferns, and exquisite plants, that love to grow in such spots. And way in through, a-flashin' through the cool darkness of the spot, you could see the wonderful rays of that strange light that has a soul. And if you will believe it — I don't spoze you will — but there is plants here grown by that artificial light — the idee ! I sez to Josiah, " Did you ever see anything like the idee of growin' plants by lamplight ?" and he sez — " It is a new thing, but a crackin' good one," and he added — "What can be done in one place can in another," and he got all excited up, and took his old account- 388 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. book out of his pocket and went to calculatin' on how many cowcumbers he could raise in the winter down suller by the light of his old lantern. I discouraged him, and sez I, " You can't raise plants by the light of that old karsene lantern, and there hain't no room, anyway, in our suller." And he said, "He wuz bound to spade up round the pork barrel and try a few hills, anyway ;" and sez he, dreamily, " We might raise a few string-beans and have 'em run up on the soap tub." But I made him put up his book, for we wuz attractin' attention, and I told him agin that we hadn't got the conveniences to home that they had here. He put up his book and we wended on, but he had a look on his face that made me think he hadn't gin up the idee, and I spoze that some good cowcum ber seed will be wasted like as not, to say nothin' of karsene. Wall, all connected with this house is two big open courts, full and runnin' over with beauty and wonder ; on the south is the aquatic garden, showin' all the plants and flowers and wonderful water growth. Here Josiah begun to make calculations agin about growin' flowers in our old mill-pond, but I broke it up. On the north court is a magnificent orange grove. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 389 Why, it makes you feel as though you wuz a-standin' in California or Florida, under the beautiful green trees, full of the ripe, rich fruit, and blossoms, and green leaves. Wall, the hull house, take it all in all, is such a seen of wonder, and enchantment, and delight, that it might have been transplanted, jest as it stood, from the Arabian nights entertainment. And you would almost expect if you turned 3 corner to meet Old Alibaby or a Grand Vizier, or somebody before you got out of there. But we didn't ; and after feastin' our eyes on the beauty and wonder on't, we sot off to see the rest of the flowers and plants, for we laid out when w r e first went to the World's Fair to see one thing at a time so fur as we could, and then tackle another, though I am free to confess that it wuz sometimes like tacklin' the seashore to count the grains of sand, or tacklin' the great north woods to count how many leaves wuz on the trees, or measurin' the waters of Lake Ontario with a teaspoon, or any other hard job you are a mind to bring up. But this day we laid out to see as much as w r e could of the immense display of flowers. But where there is milds and milds of clear flowers, what can you do ? You can't look at every one on 'em, to save your life. 390 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. Why, to jest give you a small idee of the magni- tude and size, jest think of five hundred thousand pansies from every quarter of the globe, and every beautiful color that wuz ever seen or drempt of. You know them posies do look some like faces, and the faces look like "the great multitude no man could number," that we read about, and every one of them faces a-bloomin' with every color of the rainbow. And speakin' of rainbows, before long we did see one — a loner, shinin', sditterin' rainbow, made out of pure pansies, of which more anon and bimeby. And then, think of seein' from live to ten mill- ions of tulips. Why, I had thought I had raised tulips ; I had had from twenty to thirty in full blow at one time, and had realized it, though I didn't mean to be proud nor haughty. But I knew that my tulips wuz fur ahead of Miss I sham's, or any other Jonesvillian, and I had feelin's accordin'. But then to think of ten millions of 'em — why, it would took Miss I sham and me more'n a week to jest count 'em, and work hard, too, all the time. Why, when I jest stretched out my eyesight to try to take in them ten millions of globes of gorgeous beauty, my sperits sunk in me further SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 391 than the Queen of Sheba's did before the glory of Solomon ; I felt that minute that I would love to see Miss Sheba, and neighbor with her a spell, and talk with her about pride, and how it felt when it wuz a-fallin'. I eould go ahead of her, fur, fur, and I thought I would have loved to own it up to her, and if Solomon had been present, too, I wouldn't have cared a mite — I felt humble. And I jest marched off and never said a word about gittin' a root for me or Miss I sham — I wuz fairly over- come. And still we walked round through milds and milds of solid beauty and bloom. Every beautiful posey I had ever hearn on, and them I had never hearn on wuz there, right before my dazzled eyes. The biggest crowd we see in the Horticultural Hall wuz round what you may call the humblest thing — a tree, something like old Bobbetses calf, with five legs. There wuz a fern from Japan, two separate varieties growin' together in one plant. There wuz Japanese dwarf trees one hundred years old and about as big as gooseberries. A travellin' tree from Madagascar wuz one of the most interestin' things to look at. And then there wuz a giant fern from Australia 392 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. that measured thirty-two feet — the largest, so I wuz told, in Europe or America. Thirty-two feet 1 And there I have felt so good and even proud- sperited over my fern I took up out of our woods and brung home and sot out in Mother Smith's old blue sugar-bowl. Why, that fern wuz so large and beautiful, and attracted the envious and admirin' attention of so many Jonesvillians, that I had strong idees of takin' it to the Fair ! Philury said she " hadn't a doubt of my gittin' the first prize medal on't." " Why," sez she, "it is as long as Ury's arm !" And it wuz. Miss Lum thought it would be a good thing to take it, to let Chicago and the rest of the world see what vegeta- tion wuz nateral to Jonesville, feelin' that they would most likely have a deep interest in it. And Deacon Henzy thought " it might draw pop- ulation there." And the schoolmaster thought that " it would be useful to the foreign powers to see to what height swamp culture had attained in the growth of its idigenious plants." I didn't really understand everything he said — there wuz a number more big words in his talk — but I presoom he did, and felt comforted to use 'em. Why, as I said, I had boasted that fern wuz as long as my arm. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 393 But thirty-two feet — as high as Josiah, and his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grand- father, and his great-great-grandfather, and Ury on top. Where, where wuz my boastin' ? Gone, washed away utterly on the sea of wonder and or. And then there wuz a century plant with a blos- som stem thirty feet high, and a posey accordin', one posey agin as high as my Josiah, and his father, and etc., etc., etc., and Ury. Oh, good gracious ! oh, dear me suz ! That plant wuzn't expected to blow out in several years, but all of a sudden it shot up that immense stalk, up, up to thirty feet. It wuz as if the Queen of the Flowery Kingdom had come with the rest of the kings and princesses of the earth to the Columbus World's Fair. Had changed her plans to come \v r ith the rest of the royal family. It wuz a sight. Wall, after roamin' there the best part of two hours, I said to my companion, " Less go and see the Wooded Island." And he said with a deep sithe, 11 I am ready, and more than ready. The name sounds good to me. I would love to see some good plain wood, either corded up or in sled length." I see he wuz sick of lookin' at flowers, and I d'no as I could blame him ; for my own head 394 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. seemed to be jest a-turnin' round and round, and every turnin' had more colors than any rainbow you ever laid eyes on. He wuz dretful anxious to git out-doors himself. He said it wuz all for himself that he wuz hurryin' so. I d'no that, but I do know that in his haste to help me git out he stepped on my foot, and almost made a wreck of that valuable member. I looked bad, and groaned, and sithed considerable 'fore he got to the sheltered bench he'd sot out for. He acted sorry, and I didn't reproach him any. I only sez, " Oh, I don't lay it up aginst you, Josiah. It jest reminds me of Sister Blanker." And he sez, " I don't thank you to compare me to that slab-sided old maid." Sez I, " I believe she's a Christian, Josiah." And so I do. But sez I, " Folks must be megum even in goodness, Josiah Allen, and in order to set down and hold a half orphan in your arms, you mustn't overset yourself and come down on the floor on top of a hull orphan or a nursin' child. " You mustn't tromple so fast on your way to the gole as to walk over and upset two or three lame ones and paryletics." Sez I, " Do you remember my eppisode with Sis- ter Blanker, Josiah ?" SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 395 He did not frame a reply to me, but sot off to look at sunthin' or ruther, savin' that he would come back in a few minutes. And as I sot there alone Memory went on and onrolled her panorama in front of my eyeballs, about my singular eppisode with Drusilla Blanker. Sister Blanker is a good woman and a Christian, but she never so much as sot her foot on the fair plains of megumness, whose balmy, even climate has afforded me so much comfort all my life. No ; she is a woman who stalks on towards goles and don't mind who or what she upsets on her way. She is a woman who a-chasin' sinners slams the door in the faces of saints. And what I mean bv this is that she is in such a hurry to git inside the door of Dutv (a real heavy door sometimes, heavy as iron), she don't see whether or not it is a-goin' to slam back and hit somebody in the forward. A remarkable instance of this memory onrolled on her panorama — a eppisode that took place in our own Joncsville meetin'-house. The session room where we go to session some- times and to transact other business has got a heavy swing door. And everybody who goes through it always calculates to hold it back if there is anybody comin' behind 'em, for that door has been known 396 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. to knock a man down when it come onto him onexpected and onbeknown to him. Wall, Sister Blanker wuz a-goin' on ahead of me one night ; it wuz a charitable meetin' that we wuz a-goin' to — to quilt a bedquilt for a heathen — and she knew I wuz jest behind her — right on her tracts, as you may say, for we had sot out together from the preachin'-room, and we had been a-talkin' all the way there on the different merits of otter color or but- nut for linin' for the quilt, and as to whether herrin'-bone looked so good as a quiltin' stitch as plain rib. She favored rib and otter ; I kinder leaned toward herrin'-bone and butnut. We had had a agreeable talk all the way, though I couldn't help seein' she wuz too hard on butnut, and slightin' in her remarks on herrin'-bone. Anyway, she knew I wuz with her in the body ; but as she ketched sight of the door that wuz a-goin' to let her in where she could begin to do good, her mind jest soared right up, and she forgot everything and everybody, and she let that door slam right back and hit me on my right arm, and laid me up for over five weeks. And I fell right back on Edna Garvin, and she is lame, and it knocked her over backwards onto Sally Ann Bobbetses little girl, and she fell flat down, SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 397 and Miss Gowdey on top of her, and Miss Gowdey, bein' a-\valkin' along lost in thought about the bed- quilt, and thinkin' how much battin' we should need in it, and not lookin' for a obstacle in her path, slipped right up and fell forwards. Wall, a-tryin' to save little Annie Gowdey from bein' squashed right down, Miss Gowdey throwed herself sideways and strained her back. She weighs two hundred, and is loose-jinted. And she hain't got over it to this day. She insists on't that she loosened her spine in the affair. And I d'no but she did ! But the child wuz gin up to die. So for weeks and weeks the Bobbetses and all of Sally Ann's relations (she wuz a Henzy and wide connected in the Methodist meetin'-house) had to give up all their time a-hangin' over that sick-bed. And the Garvins wuz mad as hens, and they bein' connected with most everybody in the Dorcuss Society — and it wuzn't over than above large — why, take it with my bein' laid up and the children havin' to be home so much, Sister Blanker in that one slam jest about cleaned out the hull Methodist meetin'-house. The quilt wuzn't touched after that night, and the heathen lay cold all winter, for all I know. I had all I could do to take care of my own arm, 398 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. catnip and lobela alternately and a-follerin' after each other I pursued for weeks and weeks, and the pain wuz fearful. Sister Blanker wuz about the only one who come out hull, and she had plenty of time to set down and mourn over a lack of opportunities to do good, and to talk a sight about the lukewarmness of members of the meetin'-house in good works. And there they wuz to home a-sufferin', and it wuz her own self who had brung it all on. You see, as I have said more formally, in our efforts to march forwards to do good it is highly neccessary to see that we hain't a-tromplin' on anybody ; and in order to help sinners in Africa it hain't neccessary to knock down Christians in New Jersey and Rhode Island, or to stomp onto profes- sors in Maine. Howsumever, that is some folkses ways. Wall, I'd a been a-lookin' at the panorama with one half of my mind and admirin' the beauty round me with the other half. But at this minute — and it wuz lucky my eppisode had come to an end, for if there is anything I hate it is to be broke up in eppisodin' — my J osiah returned. In front of Horticultural Hall is a flower terrace for outdoor exhibits of loveliness, and then in front of that is the beautiful, cool water, and down in the SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 399 centre of that, below the terrace, and its beauty, and vases, is a boat-landin'. The water did look dretful good to me after lookin' at so many gor- geous colors — more than any rainbow ever boasted of, enough sight — it did seem good to me to look down into them cool waters ; and I sez to my pardner — " The water does look dretful good and sort o' satisfying don't it, Josiah?" A bystander a-standin' by sez, " I guess if you would go into the south pavilion here and look at the display of wine you wouldn't talk about lookin' at water; why," sez he, "to say nothin' of the dis- play of our own country, the exhibit of wine from France, Italy, Spain, and Germany is enough to set a man half crazy to look at." I looked at him coldly — his nose wuz as red as fire — and I sez, " I hain't got no call to look at wine. " I wouldn't give a cent a barrel for the best there is there, if I had got to consoom it myself. "Though," sez I, reasonably, " I wouldn't object to havin' a pint bottle on't to keep in the house in case of sickness, or to make jell, or sunthin'. " But I will not go and encourage the makin' of such quantities as there is there, I will not encourage 'em in makin' that show." He looked mad, and sez he, " T guess they won't stop their show because you won't go and see it." 400 SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. " Probable not," sez I ; but sez I, real eloquent, " I will hold up my banner a-foot or on horseback." And then I sez to my husband, with quite a good deal of dignity — " Less proceed to the Wooded Island, Josiah Allen." But alas ! for Josiah's hope of seein' sunthin' plain and simple. When we got there, that seemed to be the very central garden of the earth for flow T ers, and beauty, and bloom, and there it wuz that we see the most gorgeous rainbow — all made of pansies — glow and dazzlement The island contains seventeen acres, and it stands on such a rise of ground, that every buildin' on the Fairground can be seen plain. In the centre of the south end wuz the rose garden, where the choicest and most beauti- ful roses from all over the world bloom in their glowin' richness. When I thought how much store I had sot by one little monthly rose a-growin' in a old earthen tea-pot of Mother Al- His nose wuz as red as fire. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 4OI len's — and when it wuz all blow T ed out I had reason to be proud on't — But jest think of seein' fifty thousand of the choicest roses in the world, all a-blowin' out at one time. Why, I had a immense number of emotions. I thought of the ancient rose gardens we read of, and Solomon's Songs, and most everything. It wuz surrounded on all four sides with a wire trellis, with archways openin' on four sides, and all over these pretty trellises climbin' roses and honey- suckles, and all lovely climbin' plants covered it into four walls of perfect beauty. It wuz truly the World's Rose Garden. Well might Josiah say he wuz sick of flowers, and wanted to see some plain eord wood ! Why, that day we see in one batch twenty thousand orchids, six thousand Parmee violets, and one man — jest one man — sent 'leven hundred ivies and one thousand hydarangeas, and every flower you ever hearn on in proportion, let alone what all the other men all over the earth had sent. On the north side of the island Japan jest shows herself at her very best, and lets the world see her in a native village, and how she raises flowers, and makes shrubs and trees look curious as anything you ever see, and curiouser, too ; all surrounded a 402 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. temple where she keeps what she ealls her religion, and lots of other things. Japan is one of the likeliest countries that are represented in Columbuses doin's. She wuz the first country to respond to the invitation to take part in it, and I spoze mebby that is the reason that Chicago gin her this beautiful place to hold her own individual doins in. The temple is a gorgeous-lookin' one, but queer as anything — as anything I ever see. But then, on the other hand, I spoze them Japans would call the Jonesville meetin'-house queer; for what is strange in one country is second nater in another. This temple is built with one body and two wings, to represent the Phoenix — or so they say ; the wood part wuz built in Japan and put up here by native Japans, brung over for that purpose. It is elaborate and gorgeous-lookin' in the ex- treme, and the gorgeousness a-differin' from our gorgeousness as one star differeth from a rutabaga turnip. Not that I mean any disrespect to Japan or the United States by the metafor, but I had to use a strong one to show off the difference. In one wing of the temple is exhibited articles from one thousand to four thousand years old — old SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD 8 FAIR. 403 bronzes, and arms, and first attempts at pottery and lacquer. Some of these illustrate arts that are lost fur baek in the past — I d'no how or where, nor Josiah don't. In the other wing are Japan productions four hundred years old, showin' the state of the country when Columbus sot out to discover their country ; for it wuz stories of a wonderful island — most prob- able Japan — that wuz one thing that influenced Columbus strong. In the main buildin' are sights and sights of goods from Japan at the present clay. All of the north part of the island is a marvellous show of their skill and ingenuity in landscape gar- denin', and dwarf trees, and the wonderful garden effects for which they are noted. They make a present of the temple and all of these hortieultural w T orks to Chicago, To remain always a ornament of Jackson Park, which I eall very pretty in 'em. Take it all together, the exhibits of Japan are about as interesting as that of any country of the globe. In some things they go ahead of us fur. Now in some of their meetin'-houscs I am told they don't have much of anything but a lookin'-glass a-hangin', 404 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. to show the duty and neccessity of lookin' at your own sins. To set for a hour and a half and examine your own self and meditate on your own shortcomin's. How useful and improvin' that would be if used — as it ort to be — in Jonesville or Chicago ! But still the world would call it queer. I leaned up hard on that thought, and wuz car- ried safe through all the queer sights I see there. I see quite a number of the Japans there, pretty, small-bonded folks, with faces kinder yellowish brown, dark eyes sot considerable fur back in their heads, their noses not Romans by any means — quite the reverse — and their hair glossy and dark, little hands and feet. Some on 'em w T uz dressed like Jones- villians, but others had their queer-shaped clothin', and dretful ornamental. Josiah wuz bound to have a sack embroidered like one of theirn, and some wooden shoes, and caps with tossels — he thought they wuz dressy — and he wanted some big sleeves that he could use as a pocket ; and then sez he — "To have shoes that have a separate place for the big toe, what a boon for that dum old corn on that toe of mine that would be !" But I frowned on the idee ; but sez he — "If you mind the expense, I could take one of your old short night-gowns and color it black, and SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 405 set some embroidery onto it. I could cut some figgers out of creton — it wouldn't be much work. Why," sez he, " I could pin 'cm on — no, dum it all," scz he, " I couldn't set down in it, but I could glue 'em on." But I sez, "If you want to f oiler the Japans I could tell you a custom of theirn, and I would give ten cents willin'ly to sec you f oiler it." "What is that ?" sez he, ready, as I could see, to ornament himself, or shave his hair, or dress up his big toe, or anything. But I sez, " It is their politeness, Josiah Allen." " I'd be a dum fool if I wuz in your place," sez he. " What do I want to foiler 'em for ? I am polite, and always wuz." I looked coldly at him, and sez I — "Japans wouldn't call their wives a dum fool no quicker than they would take their heads off." Sez he, conscience-struck, " I didn't call you one. I said /would be one if I wuz in your place — I wuz a-demeanin' myself, Samantha." Sez I, not mindin' his persiflage, "The Japans are the politest nation on the earth ; they say cheatin' and lyin' hain't polite, and so they don't want to foi- ler 'em ; they hitch principle and politeness right up in one team and ride after it." " Wall," sez he. " I do and always have," 406 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. I wouldn't deign to argue with him, only I re~ marked, " Wall, the team prances, and throws you time and again, Josiah Allen." Sez I, "The Japans are neat, industrious, stu- dious, and progressive, ardent in desirin' knowl- edge." "Wall," sez he, " if you think so much on 'em, why don't you buy a pipe — they all smoke, men and wimmen." He didn't love to hear me praisin' even a nation, that man didn't, but I soothed him down by draw- in' his attention to the housen of the little village. They wuz low, and had broad eaves, and a sort of a piazza a-runnin' all round 'em ; they seemed to be kinder plastered on the outside; and the doors and winders — I wouldn't want to swear to it — but they did seem to be wood frames covered with paper, that would slide back and forth, and the par- titions of the housen seemed to be made of paper that could be slipped and slided every way, or be took down and turn the hull house into one room. And the little gardens round the housen looked curious as a dog, and curiouser, with trees and shrubs dwarfed and trained into forms of animals and so forth. But I leaned heavy on the thought that my house and garden in J ones vi lie would look jest as SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 407 queer to 'em, and got along without beln' too dumbfoundered. As I wuz a-walkin' along there I did think of the errant Old Miss Baker sent by me. She wanted me to git her a japanned dust-pan. She said that " them she bought of tin-peddlers vvuzn't worth a eent — the japan all wore off of 'em." " But," sez she, " you buy it right at headquarters — you'd be apt to git a good one ;" and she told me that I might go as high as twenty-five cents if I couldn't git it for no less. And I spoke on't there, but Josiah said "that he wouldn't go a-luggin' round dust-pans for nobody to this Fair." But I sez, " I guess that Columbus went through more than that." But I did in my own mind hate to go round before the nations a-carryin' a dust-pan — they're so kinder rakish-l< >okin\ But if I'd seen a good one I should have leaned on duty and bought it. But we didn't see no signs of any. But we see pictures and ornaments so queer that I felt my own eyes a-movin' round sideways a-beholclin' of 'em, or would have if we had staved My peaceful pillow at Miss Plankses, 408 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. there long enough. We see as we wended along that all round the island wuz another garden all full of flowers, and ornamental grasses, and beau- tiful shrubs, and windin' walks, and so forth, and so forth, and so forth — an Eden of beauty. And in one place we see in a large tank the Vic- toria Regia. Its leaves wuz ten feet long, and when in the water in its own home, the River Amazon in Brazil, the leaves will hold up a child six years old. Then there wuz the lotus from Egypt, and Indian lilies, and that magnificent flower, Humboldt's last discovery, " the water poppy." It wuz a sight — a sight. But of all the sights I see that day I guess the one that stayed by me the longest, and that I thought more on than any of the other contents of Horti- cultural Hall, as I lay there on my peaceful pillow at Miss Plankses, wuz the reproduction of the Crystal Cave of Dakota. The original cave, so fur as they have discov- ered it, is thirty-three milds long — Three times as long as the hull town of Lyme — the idee ! Thirty lakes of pure water has been found in it, and one thousand four hundred rooms have been opened up. Here is a reproduetion of seven of them rooms. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 409 Two men of Deadwood of Dakota wuz over a year a-gittin' specimens of the stalactites and sta- lagmites which they have brought to the Exposition. One of the rooms is called " Garden of the Gods ;" another is " Abode of the Fairies," and one is the " Bridal Chamber ;" another is the " Cathedral Chimes." Language can't paint nor do anything towards paintin' the dazzlin' glory of them rooms, with the great masses of gleamin' crystal, and slender columns, and all sorts of forms and fancies wrought in the dazzlin' crystalline masses. The chimes wuz perfect in their musical records — the guide played a tune on 'em. They wuz all lit up by electricity, and it wuz here that the plants wuz a-growin' by no other light but electricity. By windin' passages a-windin' through groups of fairy-like beauty and grandeur, you at last come out into the principal chamber, and here indeed you did feel that you wuz in the Garden of the Gods, as you looked round and beheld with your almost dazzled eyes the gorgeous colors radiatin' from the crystals, and the gleamin' and glowin' fancies on every side of you. And I sez to Josiah — - "The hull thirty-three mi Ids that this represents 4IO SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. wuz considered till about a year ago as only a small hole in the ground, so little do we know." Sez I, " What glorious and majestic sights are about us on every side, liable to be revealed to us when the time comes." And then he wuz all rousted up about a hole down in our paster. Sez he, "Who knows what it would lead to if it wuz opened up ?" Sez he, " I'll put twenty men to diggin' there the minute I git home." Sez I, "Josiah, that is a woodehuek hole — the woodchuck wuz took in it ; you have got to be megum in caves as much as anything. Be calm," sez I, for he wuz a-breathin' hard and wuz fearful excited, and 1 led him out as quick as I could. But he wuz a-sleepin' now peaceful, forgittin' his enthusiasm, while I, who took it calm at the time, kep awake to muse on the glory of the spectacle. After we left the Horticultural Buildin' I pro- posed that we should branch out for once and git a fashionable dinner. " Dinner !" sez Josiah. "Are you crazy, or what does ail you ? Talk about gittin' dinner at this time of day — most bedtime !" But I explained it out to him that fashion called for dinner at the hour that we usually partook of our evenin' meal at Jonesvillc. Sez I, " Josiah, I would love for jest once to go SAMANTHA at the worlds fair. 411 to a big fashionable restaurant and mingle with the fashionable throng — jest for instruction and educa- tion, Josiah, not that I want to foller it up." But sez he, " We'd better go to the same old place where we've got good, clean dinners and sup- perses, and enough on 'em, and at a livin' price." But he argued warm at the foolishness of the enterprise. But onlucky creeter that I wuz, I argued that, bein' a woman in search of instruction and wisdom, I wanted to see life on as many sides as I could ; while I was at Columbuses doin's I wanted to look round and see all I could in a social and educational way. Poor deceived human creeters, how they will blind their own eyes when they pursue their own desires ! I do spoze it wuz vanity and pride that wuz at the bottom of it. And truly, if I desired to see life on a new side I wuz about to have my wish ; and if I had a haughty sperit when I entered that hall of fashion, it wuz with droopin' feathers and lowered crest that I went out on't. Josiah wuz mad when he finally gin up and accompanied and went in with me. It wuz a beautifully decorated room, and crowds 412 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. of splendidly dressed men and wimmen wuz a-settin' round at little tables all over the room. And as we went in, a tall, elegant-lookin' man, who I spozed for a long time wuz a minister, and I won- dered enough what brung him there, and why he should advance and wait on me, but spozed it wuz because of the high opinion they had of me at Chicago, and their wantin' to use me so awful well But for all his white collar, and necktie, and sanc- timonious look, I found out that he wuz a waiter, for all on 'cm looked jest as he did, slick enough to be kept in a bandbox, and only let out once in a while to air. Wall, he led the way to a little table, and we seated ourselves, Josiah still a-actin' mad — mad as a hen, and uppish. And then the waiter put some little slips of paper before us, one with printin' and one with writin' on it, and a pencil, and sez he, " I will be back when you make out your order." And Josiah took out his old silver spectacles and begun to read out loud, and his voice wuz angry and morbid in the extreme. Sez he, loud and clear, " Blue pints — pints of what, I'd love to know? If it wuz a good pint of sweetened vinegar and ginger, I'd fall in with the idee." I ALLUS HATED CRABS !' 414 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. Sez I, "Keep still, Josiah ; they're a-lookin' at you." "Wall, let'em look," sez he, out loud and defiant. " Consomme of chicken a la princess — what do we want of Princesses here, or Queens, or Dukes- ses — we want sunthin' to eat ! Devilish crabs — do you want some, Samantha ?" I looked over his shoulder, in wild horrer at them awful words, and then I whispered, " Devilled crabs — and do you keep still, Josiah Allen ; I'd ruther not have anythin' to eat at all than to have you act so — it hain't devilish." "Wall, what is the difference?" he sez, out loud and strong ; " devilish or bedevilled, they both mean the same. " And it is true, too — too true ; thev are all bedevil- led," sez he, gloomily eyin' the bill. I allers hated crabs from the time they used to fasten to my bare toes down in the old swimmin' hole in the creek. " Wall, you don't want any bedevilled crabs, do you ?" " No," sez I, faintly ; for I wuz mortified enough to sink through the floor if there had been any sinkin' place, and I whispered, " I'd ruther go without any dinner at all than to have you act so." "Oh, no," sez he, loud and positive, "you don't want to go without your dinner ; you want to be SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 415 fashionable and cut style — you want to make a show." " Wall," sez I, faint as a cat, " I am apt to git my wish." For three men looked up and laughed, and one girl snickered, besides some other wimmen. Sez I, hunchin' him, " Do be still and less go to our old place." " Oh, no," sez he, speakin' up to the top of his voice, " don't less leave ; here is such a variety !" " Potatoes surprise," sez he ; " it must be that they are mealy and cooked decent ; that would be about as much of a surprise as I could have about potatoes here, to have 'em biled fit to eat ; we'll have some of them, anyway. " Philadelphia caperin' — I didn't know that Phil- adelphia caperin' wuz any better than Chicago a-caperin' or New York a-caperin'. Veal o just ! I guess if lie had been kicked by calves as much as I have, he wouldn't talk so much about their Christian habits. " Leg of million with caper sass — wall, it is nateral for sheep to caper and act sassy, and it is nobody's bizness. " Supreme pinted bogardus — what in thunder is that ? Supreme — wall, I've hearn of a supreme ijiot, and T believe that Bogardus is bis name. 416 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. "Terrapin a-layin' on Maryland — I never knew that terrapin wuz a hen before, and why is it any better to lay on Maryland than anywhere else ? Aiebby eggs are higher there ; wall, Maryland hain't much too big for a good-sized hen's nest, nor Rhode Island neither." "Josiah Allen," I whispered, deep and solemn, " if you don't stop I will part with you." Folks wuz in a full snicker and a giggle by this time. "Oh, no," sez he, loud and strong, "you don't want to part with me till I git you a fashionable dinner, and we both cut style. " Tenderloin of beef a-tryin' on" — a-tryin' on what, I'd love to know ? — style, most probable, this is such a stylish place." "Will you be still, Josiah Allen?" sez I, a-layin' holt of his vest. " No, I won't ; I am tryin' to put on style, Saman- tha, and buy you sunthin' stylish to eat." " Wall, you needn't," sez I ; "I have lost my appetite." " Siberian Punch ! Let him come on," sez Josiah ; " if I can't use my fists equal to any dum Siberian that ever trod shoe leather, then I'll give in." Then three wimmen giggled, and the waiters be- 2fan to look mad and troubled. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 417 " English rifles" — wall, I shouldn't have thought they would have tried that agin. No, trifles," sez he, a-lookin' closer at it. " English trifles ! — lions' tails and coronets, meb- by — English trifles and tutty-frutty. Do have some tutty-frutty, Samantha, it has such a stylish sound to it, so different from good pork and beans and roast beef ; I believe you would enjoy it dearly. "Waiter," sez he, "bring on some tutty-frutty to once." The waiter approached cautiously, and made a motion to me, and touched his forehead. lie thought he wuz crazy, and he whispered to me, " Is it caused by drinkin' ? or is it nateral and come on sudden Josiah heard it, and answered out loud, " It wuz caused by style, by bein' fashionable ; my only aim has been to git my wife a fashionable dinner, but I see it has overcome her." The waiter wuz a good-hearted-lookin' man — a kind heart beat below that white necktie ('consid- erable below it on the left side), and sez he to me — " Shall I bring you a dinner, Mom, without takin' the order ?" And I replied gratefully— "Yes, so do ;" and so he brung it, a good enough dinner for anybody— good roast beef, and potatoes. 41 S SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. and lemon pie, and tea, and Josiah eat hearty, and had to quiet down some, though he kept a-mournin' all through the meal about its not bein' carried on fashionable and stylish, and that it wuz my doin's a-breakin' it up, and etc., etc., and the last thing a-wantin' tutty-f rutty, and etc., etc. And I paid for the meal out of my own pocket ; the waiter thought I had to on account of my companion's limy state, and he gin the bill to me. And Josiah a-ehucklin' over it, as I could sec, for savin' his money. And I got him out of that place as quick as I could, the bystanders, or rather the bvsetters, a-laughin' or a-lookin' pitiful at me, as their naters differed. And as we wended off down the broad path on the outside, I sez, "You have disgraced us forever in the eyes of the nation, Josiah Allen." And he sez, " What have I done ? You can't throw it in my face, Samantha, that I hain't tried to cut style — that 1 didn't try to git you a stylish meal." I wouldn't say a word further to him, and I never spoke to him once that night — not once, only in the night I thought there wuz a mouse in the room, and J forgot myself and called, on him for help. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 419 And for three days I didn't pass nothin' but the compliments with him ; he felt bad — he worships me. He did it all to keep me from goin' to a costly place — I know what his motives wuz — but he had mortified me too deep. CHAPTER XV. Wall, this mornin' I said that I would go to see the Palace of Art if 1 had to go on my hands and knees. And Josiah sez, " I guess you'd need a new pair of knees by the time you got there." And I do spoze it wuz milds and milds from where I wuz. But I only wanted to let Josiah Allen know my cast-iron determination to not be put off another minute in payin' my devours to Art. He see it writ in my mean and didn't make no moves towards breakin' it up. Only he muttered sunthin' about not carin' so much about ile paintin's as he did for lots of other things. But I heeded him not, and sez I, " We will go early in the mornin' before any one gits there." But I iruess that several hundred thousand other folks o must have laid on the same plans overnight, for we found the rooms full and runnin' over when we got there, SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 42 1 Before we got to the Art Palace, you'd know you wuz in its neighborhood by the beautiful statutes and groups of riggers you'd see all round you. The buildin' itself is a gem of art, if you can call anything a gem that is acres and acres big of itself, and then has immense annexes connected with it by broad, handsome corridors on either side. It is Greek in style, and the dome rises one hun- dred and twenty-five feet and is surmounted by Martiny's wonderful winged AActory. Another female is depictered standin' on top of the globe with wreaths in her outstretched hands. Wall, I hope the figger is symbolical, and I be- lieve in my soul she is ! You enter this palace by four great portals, beau- tiful with sculptured riggers and ornaments, and as you go on in the colonnade you see beautiful paint- in's illustratin' the rise and progress of Art. And way up on the outside, on what they call the freeze of the buildin' (and good land ! I don't see what they wuz a-thinkin' on, for I wuz jest a-meltin' down where T wuz, and it must have been hotter up there). But that's their way. Wall, way up there and on the pediment of the principal entrances are sculptures and portraits of the ancient masters of Art in relief. 422 SAM A NTH A AT THE WORLD S FAIR. In relief? That's what they called it, and I spoze them old men must felt real relieved and contented to be sot down there in such a grand place, and so riz up like. You could see plain by their liniments how glad and proud they wuz to be in Chicago, a-lookin' down on that seen of beauty all round 'em. Lookin' down on the terraces richly ornamented with balustrades — down over the immense flight of steps down into the blue water, with its flocks of steam lanches, and gondolas, like gay birds of pas- sage, settled down there ready for flight. All the light in this buildin' comes down through immense skylights. There is no danger of folks a-fallin' out of the winders or havin' anybody peck in unless it is t he man in the moon. All round this vast room is a gallery forty feet wide, where you could lock arms and promenade, and talk about hens. But you wouldn't want to, I don't believe. You'd want to spend every minute a-feastin' your eyes on the Best of the World. All along the floors of the nave and transepts are displayed the most beautiful sculptures that wuz ever sculped in any part of the world, while the walls are covered with paintin's and sculptured panels in relief. 424 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. That's what they call 'em, because it's such a relief for folks to set down and look at 'em. Between the promenades and naves and tran- septs are the smaller rooms, where the private collections of picters are kep and the works of the different Art Schools, and the four corners are filled with smaller picter galleries. Why, to go through jest one of them annexes, let alone the palace itself, would take a week if you examined 'em as you ort to. Josiah told me that mornin', with a encouraged look onto his face — " Samantha, after we've seen all the ile paintin's we'll go somewhere, and have a good time." " But good land ! sec all the ile paintin's !" Why, as I told him after we'd wandered through there for hours and hours, sez 1, " If we spent every minute of the hull summer we couldn't do justice to 'em all." And we couldn't. Why, it has been all calculated out by a good calculator, that spend one minute to a picter, and it would take twenty-six days to go through 'em. And good land ! what is one minute to some of the picters you see. Why, half a day wuzn't none too long to pour over some on 'em, and when I say pour, I mean pour, for I see dozens of folks vveepin' quite hard before some on 'em. For these picters wuzn't picked out haphazard SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 425 all over the country. No, they had to, every one on 'em, run the gantlet of the most: severe and close criticism. The Jury of Admittance stood in front of that gallery, and over it, as you may say, like the very finest and strongest wire sieve, a-strainin' out all but the finest and clearest merits. No dregs could git through — not a dreg. I guess that hain't a very good metafor, and if 1 wuzn't in such a hurry I'd look round and try to find a better one, not knowin', too, but what that Jury of Admittance will feel mad as hens at me to be compared to sieves ; but I don't mean the com- mon wire ones, such as tin-peddlers sell. No, I mean the searchin' and elevatin' process by which the very best of our country and the hull world wuz separated from the less meritorious ones, and spread out there for the inspiration and delight of the assembled nations. And wuzn't it a sight what wuz to be found there ! Landscapes from every land on the globe — from Lapland to the Orient. Tropical forests, with soft southern faces look in' out of the verdant shadows. Frozen icebergs, with fur-clad figgers with stern aspects, and grizzly bears and ice-suckles. Bits of the beauty of all climes under all skies, 426 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. dark or sunny. Mountains, trees, valleys, forests, plains and prairies, palaces and huts, ships, boats and balloons. The beauty and the sadness of every season of the year, beautiful faces, inspired faces, humbly faces, strikin' powerful means, and mean cowardly sly liniments looked nut on every side of US. Picters illustratin' every phase of human life, in every corner of the globe, from birth to death, from kingly prosperity and luxurious ease to prisons and scaffolds, the throne, the hospital, the convent, the pulpit, the monastery, the home, the battle-field, the mid-ocean, and the sheltered way, and Heaven and Hell, and Life and Death. Every seen and spot the human mind had ever conceived wuz here depictered. Every emotion man or woman ever felt, every inspiration that ever possessed their soul, every joy and every grief that ever lifted or bowed down their heads wuz here depictered. And seens from the literature of every land wuz illustrated, the world of matter, the world of mind, all their secrets laid bare to the eyes of the admirin' nations. It wuz a sight — a sight ! Gallery after gallery, room after room did we wander through till the froreeous colorin' seemed to SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 427 dye our very thoughts and emotions, and I looked at Josiah in a kinder mixed-up, lofty way, as if he wuz a ile paintin' or a statute, and he looked at me almost as if he considered me a chromo. It wuz a time not to be forgot as long as memory sets up high on her high throne. Room after room, gallery after gallery, beauty dazzlin' us on every side, and lameness and twinges of rumatiz n-harassin' us in our four extremities. Why, the sight seemed so endless and so immense, that some of the time we felt like two needles in a haymow, a haymow made up of a vision of loveli- ness, and the two little needles feelin' fairly tuck- ered out, and blunted, and browbeat. Why, we got so kinder bewildered and carried away, that some of the time I couldn't tell whether the masterpiece I wuz a-devourin' with my eyes come from Germany or Jonesville, from France or Shackville, from Holland or from Zoar, up in the upper part of Lyme. Of course amongst that endless display there wuz some picters that struck such hard blows at the heart and fancy that you can't forgit 'em if you wanted to, which most probable you don't. And now, in thinkin' back on 'em, T can't sort 'em out and lay 'em down where they belong and mark 'em i, 2, 3, 4, and etcetry, as I'd ort to. 428 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But I'm jest as likely to let my mind jump right from what I see at the entrance to sunthin' that I see way to the latter end of the buildin', and visa versa. It kinder worries me. I love to even meditate and allegore with some degree of order and system, but I can't here. I must allegore and meditate on 'em jest as they come, and truly a-thinkin' on these picters, I feel as Hosey Bigelow ust to say : " I can't tell what's comin' — gall or honey." But some of them picters and statutes made perfect dents in my memory, and can't be smoothed out agin nohow. There wuz one little figger jest at the entrance where we went in, "The Young Acrobat," that impressed me dretfully. It wuz a man's hand and arm that wuz a-risin' up out of a pedestal, and on the hand w x uz set the cutest little baby you ever see. I guess it wuz the first time that he'd ever sot up anywhere out of the cradle or his ma's arms. He looked some skairt, and some proud, and too cunnin' for anything, as I hearn remarked by a few hundred female wimmen that day. And like as not it is jest like my incoherence in revery that from that little baby my mind would spring right on to the French exhibit to that SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 429 noble statute: of Jennie D. Ark, kneelin' there with her clasped hands and her eyes lifted as if she wuz a-sayin' : "I did hear the voices !" And so she did hear the language of Heaven, and the dull souls around her wuz too earthly to com- prehend the divine harmonies, and so they burnt her up for it. Lots of folks are burnt up in different fires to-day, for the same thing. Then mebby my mind will jest jump to the "Age of Iron" or to the " Secrets of the Tomb," or "The Eagle and the Vulture," or "Washington and La- fayette," or " Chanty" — a good-lookin' creeter she wuz — she could think of other children besides her own ; or mebby it will jump right over onto the " Indian Buffalo Hunt" — a horse a-rarin' right up to git rid of a buffalo tnat wuz a-pressin' right in under its forelegs. I don't see how that hunter could stay on his back — I couldn't — to say nothin' to shootin' the arrows into the critter as he's a-doin'. Or mebby my mind '11 jump right over to the " Soldier of Marathon," or " Eve," no knowin' at all where my thoughts will take me amongst them noble marble figgers. And as for picters, my revery on 'em now is a perfect sight ; a show as good as a pano- 430 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. rama is a-goin' on in my foretop now when I let my thoughts take their full swing on them pic- ters. Amongst them that struck the hardest blows on my fancy wuz them that told stories that touched the heart. There wuz one in the Holland exhibit, called " Alone in the World," a picter that rousted up mv feelin's to a almost alarmin' extent It wuz a picter by Josef Israel. It wuz a sight to see how this picter touched the hearts of the people. No grandeur about it, but it: held the soul of things — pathos, heart-breakin' sor- row. A peasant had come home to his bare-lookin' cottage, and found his wife dead in her bed. He didn't rave round and act, and strike an atti- tude. No, he jest turned round and sot there on his hard stool, with his hands on his knees, a-facin' the bare future. The hull of the desolation of that long life of emptiness and grief that he sees stretch out before him without her, that he had loved and lost, wuz in the man's grief-stricken face. It wuz that face that made up the loss and the strength of the picter. I cried and wept in front of it, and cried and SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR 431 wept. I thought what if that wuz Josiah that sot there with that agony in his face, and that desola- tion in his heart, and I couldn't comfort him — Couldn't say to him: "Josiah, we'll bear it to- gether." I wuz fearful overcome. I CRIED AND WEPT IN FRONT OF IT, AND CRIED AND WEPT. And then there wuz another picter called " Break- in' 1 [ome Ties." .V crowd always stood before that. It wu/ a boy jest a-settin' out to seek his fortune. Hie breakfast-table still stood in the room. The old grandma a-settin' there still ; time had dulled her vision for lookin' forward. She wuz a-lookin' into the past, into the realm that had held so many 432 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. partin's for her, and mebby lookin' way over the present into the land of meetin's. The little girl with her hand on the old dog is too small to fully realize what it all means. But in the mother's faee you can see the full meanin' of the partin' — the breakin' of the old ties that hound her boy so fast to her in the past. The let tin' him go out into the evil world with- out her lovin' watchfulness and love. All the love that would fain go with him — all the admonition that she would fain give him — all the love and all the hope she feels for him is writ in her gentle face. As for the boy, anticipation and dread are writ on his mean, hut the man is waitin' impatient outside to take him away. The partin' must come. You turn away, glad you can't see that last kiss. Then there wuz " Holy Night," the Christ Child, with its father and mother, and some surroundin' worshippers of both sects. Mary's face held all the sweetness and strength you'd expect to see in the mother of our Lord. And Joseph looked real well too — quite well. Josiah said that "the halos round his head and Mary's looked some like big white plates." But I sez, " You hain't much of a judge of halos, anyway. Mebby if you should try to make a few halos you'd speak better of 'cm." SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 433 I often think this in the presence of critics, mebby if they should lay holt and paint a few picters, they wouldn't find fault with 'em so glib. It looks real mean to me to see folks find so much fault with what they can't do half so well themselves. Then there wuz the wimmen at the tomb of the Christ. The door is open, the Angel is begenin' for 'em to enter. In the faces of them weepin', waitin' wimmen is depictered the very height and depth of sorrow. You can't see the face of one on 'em, but her poster gives the impression of absolute grief and loss. The quiverin' lips seems formin' the words — "Farwell, farwell, best beloved." Deathless love shines through the eyes streamin' with tears. In the British section there wuz one picter that struck such a dee}) blow onto my heart that its strings hain't got over vibratin' still. They send back sonic of them deep, thrillin' echoes every time I think on't in the day-time or wake up in the night and think on't. Tt wuz " Love and Death," and wuz painted by Mr. AVatts, of London. It showed a home where Love had made its sweet restin'-place — vines grew up round the pleasant door- 434 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. way, emblematic of how the heart's deep affection twined round the spot. But in the door-way stood a mighty form, veiled and shadowy, but relentless. It has torn the vines down, they lay witherin' at its feet. It wuz bound to enter. Though you couldn't see the face of this veiled shape, a mysterious, dretful atmosphere darkened and surrounded it, and you knew that its name wuz Death. Love stood in the door-way, vainly a-tryin' to keep it out, but you could see plain how its pleadin', im- plorin' hand, extended out a-tryin' to push the rig- ger away, wuz a-goin' to be swept aside by the in- exorable, silent shape. Death when he goes up on a door-step and pauses before a door has got to enter, and Love can't push it away. No, it can only git its wings torn off and trompled on in the vain effort. It wuz a dretful impressive pictcr, one that can't be forgot while life remains. On the opposite wall wuz Crane's noble pictcr, " Freedom ;" I stood before that for some time nearly lost and by the side of myself. Crane did first-rate ; I'd a been glad to have told him so — it would a been so encouragin' to him. Then there wuz another picter in the English SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 435 section called " The Passing of Arthur" that rousted up deep emotions. I'd hearn Thomas J. read so much about Arthur, and that round extension table of hisen, that 1 seemed to be well acquainted with him and his mates. I knew that he had a dretful hard time on't, what with his wife a-fallin' in love with another man which is always hard to bear — and etcetry. And I always approved of his doin's. He never tried to go West to git a divorce. No ; he merely sez to her, when she knelt at his feet a-wantin' to make up with him, he sez, " Live so that in Heaven thou shalt be Arthur's true wife, and not another's." I'll bet that shamed Genevere, and made her feci real bad. And his death-bed always seemed dretful pathetic to inc. And here it wuz all painted out. The boat float- in' out on the pale golden green light, and Arthur a-layin' there with the three queens a-weepin' over him. A-floatin' on to the island valley of Avilion, " Where falls not hail nor rain, nor any snow." And then there wuz a picter by Whistler, called "The Princess of the Land of Porcelain." Vou couldn't really tell why that slender little liggcr in the long trailin' silken robes, and the deep 436 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. dark eyes, and vivid red lips should take such a holt on you. But she did, and that face peers out of Memory- aisles time and time agin, and you wake up a-think- in' on her in the night. Mr. Whistler must a been dretful interested him- self in the Lady of the Land of Porcelain, or he couldn't have interested other folks so. And then there wuz another by Mr. Whistler, called "The Lady of the Yellow Buskin." A poem of glowin' color and life. And right there nigh by wuz one by Mr. Chase, jest about as good. The name on't wuz " Alice." I believe Alice Ben Bolt looked some like her when she wuz of the same age, you know — " Sweet Alice, whose hair was so brown, Who wept with delight when Mr. Ben Bolt gin her a smile ; And trembled with fear at Mr. Ben Boltses frown." She ort to had more gumption than that ; but I always liked her. Elihu Vedder's picters rousted up deep emotions in my soul — jest about the deepest I have got, and the most mysterious and weird. Other artists may paint the outside of things, but he goes deeper, and paints the emotions of the soul SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 437 that are so deep that you don't hardly know yourself that you've got them of that variety. In lookin' through these picters of hisen illustrat- in' that old Persian poem, " Omer Kyham" — Why, I have had from eighty to a hundred emo- tions right along for half a day at a time. Mr. Vedder had here " A Soul in Bondage," "The Young Marysus and Morning," and " Delila and Sampson," and several others remarkably im- pressive. And Mr. Sargent's " Mother and Child" looked first-rate in its eool, soft colors. They put me in mind a good deal of Tirzah Ann and Babe. And " The Delaware Valley" and "A Gray Low- cry Day," by Mr. George Inness, impressed me wonderfully. Many a day like it have I passed through in Jonesville. " Hard Times," also in a American department, wuz dretful impressive. A man and a woman wuz a-standin' in the hard, dusty road. His face looked as though all the despair, and care, and perplexities of the hard times wuz depic- tered in it. He wuz stalkin' along as if he had forgot every- thing but his trouble. And I presoom that he'd had a dretful hard time on't — dretful. He couldn't git no work, mebby, 438 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. and wuz obleegcd to stand and sec his family starve and suffer round him. Yes, he wuz a-walkin' along with his hands in his empty pockets and his eyes bent towards the ground. But the woman, though her face looked haggard, and fur wanner than hissen, yet she wuz a-lookin' hack and reachin' out her arms towards the children that wuz a-comin' along fur back. One of 'em wuz a-cryin', I guess. His ma hadn't nothin' but love to give him, but you could see that she wuz a-givin' him that liberal. And Durant's " Spanish Singing Girl" rousted up a sight of admiration ; she wuz very good-lookin'- — looked a good deal like my son's wife. Well, in the Russian Department (and jest see how my revery flops about, clear from America to Russia at one jump) — There wuz a picter there of a boat in a storm. And on that boat is thrown a vivid ray of sun- shine. You'd think that it wuz the real thing, and that you could warm your fingers at it, but it hain't — it is only painted sunshine. But it beats all I ever see ; I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to use it for a noon-mark. In the German Exhibit wuz as awful a picter as I want to see. It was Julia, old Mr. Serviuses SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 439 girl — Miss Tarquin that now is — a-ridin' over her pa and killin' him a purpose, so she eould git his property. To see Miss Tarquin, that wicked, wicked creeter, a-doin' that wicked act, is enough to make a perfect race of old maids and bacheldors. The idea of havin' a lot of children to take care on and then be rid over by 'em ! But I shall always believe that she wuz put up to it by the Tarquin boys. I never liked 'em — they wuzn't likelv. But the picter is a sight — dretful big and skairful. And in that section is a beautiful picter by Fritz Uhele, whose riggers, folks say, are the best in the world. " The Angels Appearing to the Shepherds." Oh, what glowin' faces the angels had ! You read in 'em what the shepherds did : " Love, Good Will to Man." There wuz some little picters there about six inches square, and marked : " Little Picters for a Child's Album." And Josiah sez to me, " T believe I'll buy one of 'em for Babe's album that 1 got her last Christmas." Sez he, " I've got ten cents in change, but proba- ble," sez he, "it won't be over eight cents." Sez I, "Don't be too sanguine, fosiah Allen." 440 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. Sez he, " I am never sanguinary without good horse sense to back it up. They throwed in a chromo three feet square with the last ealieo dress you bought at Jonesville, and this hain't over five or six inches big." " Wall," sez I, " buy it if you want to." " Wall," sez he, " that's what I lay out to do, mom." So he accosted a Columbus Guard that stood nigh, and sez he — " I'm a-goin' to buy that little picter, and I want to know if I can take it home now in my vest pocket ?" "That picter," sez he, "is twenty thousand dol- lars. It is owned by the German National Gallery, and is loaned by them," and sez he, with a ready flow of knowledge inherent to them Guards, "the artist, Adolph Menzel, is to German art what Meis- sonier is to the French. I lis picters are all bought by the National Gallery, and bring enormous sums." Josiah almost swooned away. Nothin' but pride kep him up- — I didn't say nothin' to add to his mortification. Only I simply said— " Babe will prize that picter, Josiah Allen." And he sez, " Be a fool if you want to ; I'm a-goin' to git sunthin' to eat." And he hurried me along at almost a dog-trot, 442 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. but I would stop to look at a " Spring Day in Ba- varia," and the " Fish Market in Amsterdam," and the " Nun," and some others, I would — they wuz all beautiful in the extreme. Wall, after we come back into the gallerv agin, the fust picter we went to see wuz " Christ Before Pilate," by Mr. Muneaxey. There 1 [e stood, the Man of Sorrows, with His tall figure full of patient dignity, and Mis face full of love, and pity, and an- guish, all bent into a in- describable majesty and power. I lis hands wuz bound, He stood there the cen- tre of that sneering, mur- WsP") derous crowd of priests and pharisees. On every side of Him He would meet a look of hate and savage exultation in His misery. And He, like a lamb before the shearers, wuz dumb, bearing patiently the sins and sorrows of a world. The fate of a universe looked out of His deep, sweet eyes. He could bear it all — the hate, all the ignominy, the cruel death drawin' so near — He could bear " Be a fool if you want to." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 443 it all through love and pity — the highest heights love ever went, and the deepest pity. Only one face out of that jeerin', evil crowd had a look of pity on't, and that wuz the one woman in the throng, and she held a child in her arms. Mebby Love had taught her the secret of Grief. Anyway, she looked as if she pitied Him and would have loosed His bonds if she could. It wuz a dretful impressive picter, one that touched the most sacred feelin's of the beholder. There wuz a great fuss made over AlmaTadema's picter of "Crowning Bachus." But I didn't approve on't. The girls' riggers in it wuz very beautiful, with the wonderful floatin' hair of red gold crowned with roses. But I wanted to tell them girls that after they got Mr. Bachus all crowned, he'd turn on 'em, and jest as like as not pull out hull handfuls of that golden hair, and kick at 'em, and act. Mr. Bachus is a villain of the deepest dye. I felt jest like warnin' 'em. I like Miss Tadema's picters enough sight bet- ter — pretty little girls playin' innocent games, and dreamin' sweet fancies By the Fireside. " The Flaggalants," by Carl Marr, is a enormous big picter, but fearful to look at. 444 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. It made me feel real bad to see how them men wuz a-hurtin' their own selves. They hadn't ort to. Another pieter by the same artist, called "A Summer Afternoon," I liked as well agin ; the soul of the pleasant summer-time looked out of that pieter, and the faces of the wimmen and children in it. The little one clingin' to its mother's hand and feedin' the chickens looked cute enough to kiss. She favored Babe a good deal in her looks. "The Cemetery in Delmatia" and the " Market Scene in Cairo," by Leopold Midler, struck hard blows onto my fancy. And so did three by Madame Weisenger — " Mornin' by the Sea-shore," " Breakfast in the Country," and "The Laundress of the Mountain." " Christ and the Children," by Julius Schmid, wuz beautiful as could be. And so wuz "idle Death of Autumn," by Franz Pensinger — they held in 'em all the sadly glorious beauty of the closing year. "The Three Beggars of Cordova," by Edwin Weeks, wuz dretful interest in'. Them tramps set there lookin' so sassy, and lazy, nateral as life. Lots of jest such ones have impoi- tuned me for food on my Jonesville door-step. Then he had two Hindoo fakirs that wuz real 446 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. interestin'. The fur-off Indian city, the river, and the fakir a-layin' in the boat, tired out, I presoom, a-makin' folks stand up in the air, and climb up lad- ders into Nowhere, and eatin' swords, and eatin' fire, and etcetry. lie wux beat out, and no wonder. The colorin' of tliis picter is superb. And so wuz his " Persian I torse Dealers" and others. Mr. Melcher's "Sermon" and "Communion" wuz very impressive, as nateral as the meetin'- housen and congregation at Jonesville and Zoar. In the Holland Exhibit wuz all kinds of clouds painted — Clouds a-layin' low in sombre piles, and clouds with the sun almost a-shinin' through 'em. Won- derful effects as I ever see. And I wuz a-lookin' at a picter there so glowin' and beautiful that it seemed to hold in it the very secret of summer. The heart fire and glow of summer shone through its fine atmosphere. And sez I, " Josiah, did you ever see anything like it?" " Oh, yes," sez he ; "it's quite fair." " Fair !" sez I ; " can't you say sunthin' more than that ?" " Wall, from fair to middlin', then," sez he. SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 447 "But for real beauty," sez he, "give me them picters made in corn, and oats, and beans. Give me that Dakota eon" made out of grain, with a tail of timothy grass, and straw legs, and coin car horns. There is real beauty," sex he. "Or that picter in the State Buildin' of the hull farm made in seeds. 'Idle old bean farm-house, and bailey well-sweep, and the fields bounded with corn twig fences, and horses made of silk-weed, and manes and tales of corn-silk — there is beauty," sez he. " And as for statutes, I'd ruther see one of them Aggers that Miss Brooks of Nebraska makes out of butter than a hull carload of marble riggers." T sithed a deep, curious sithe, and he went on : "Why," sez he, "it stands to reason they're more valuable ; what good would the stun be to you if a marble statute got: smashed? A dead loss on your hands. "But let one of her Iolanthes git knocked over and broke to pieces, why there you are, good, solid butter, worth 30 cents of any mail's money. " Give me statuary that is ornamental in pros- perity, anil that you can eat up if reverses come to you," sez he. "Why," sez he, "there is one hundred kinds of grain in that one model farm of Illinois. 44« A .MANTUA AT THE WORLDS FAIR Mm msSm " Now, if that picter should git torn to pieces by a cyclone, what would a ile paintin' be ? A dead loss. " But that grain farm-house, what food for hens that would make — such a variety. Why, the hens would jest pour out eggs fed on \.il is, .1 the ruins of that farm. " Give me beauty and economy hitched together in one team." I sithed, and the sithe wuz deep, almost like a groan, and scz I — " You tire me, Josiah Allen — you tire me almost to death." "Wall," scz he, " I'm talkin' good What food for hens that horse sense." WOULD MAKK." Sez I, " I should think it wuz animal sense of some kind — nothin' spiritual about it and riz up." "Wall," sez he, "you'll see five hundred folks a-standin' round and praisin' up them seed picters where there is one that gits carried away as you do over Wattses 'Love and Death ' and Elihu Ved- der's dum picters." "Wall," sez I, in a tired-out axent, "that don't prove anything, Josiah Allen. The multitude chose Barrabus to the Divine One. " Not," sez 1 reasonably, " that I would want to SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 449 compare the seed picters and the butter females to a robber. "They're extremely curious and interestin' to look at, and wonderful in their way as anything" in the hull Exposition. " But," sez T, "there is a height and a depth in the soul that them butter figgers can't touch — no, nor the pop-corn trees can't reach that height with their sorghum branches. It lays fur beyond the switchin' timothy tail of that seed horse or the wavin' raisen mane of that prune charger. It is a realm," sez I, " that I fear you will never stand in, Josiah Allen." "No, indeed," sez he; "and I don't want to. I hain't no desires that way." Again I sithed, and we walked off into another gallery. Wall, I might write and keep a-writin' from Fourth of July to Christmas Eve, and then git up Christ- mas morn in' and say truly that the half hadn't been told of what we see there, and so what is the use of tryin' to relate it in this epistle. But suffice it to sav that we staved there all day long, and that night we meandered home perfectly wore out, and perfectly riz up in our two minds, or at least I wuz. Josiah's feelin's seemed to be clear fag, jest plain wore out fag. 45© SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. The nights arc always cool in Chicago — that is, if the weather is anyways comfortable durin' the day. And this night it wuz so cool that a good wool- len blanket and bedspread wuz none too much for comfort. And it wuz with a sithe of contentment that I lay down on my peaceful goose-feather pillow, and drawed the blankets up over my weary frame and sunk to sleep. I had been to sleep I know not how long when a angry, excited voice wakened me. It said, " Lay down, can't you !" I hearn it as one in a dream. I couldn't sense where I wuz nor who wuz talkin', when agin I hearn — " Dum it all ! why can't you fall as you ort to ?" A\ uz some struggle a-goin' on in my room ? The bed wuz in an alcove, and I could not see the place from where the voice proceeded. I reached my hand out. My worst apprehensions wuz realized. Josiah wuz not there. Wuz some one a-killin' him, and a-orderin' him to lay still and fall as he ort to ? Wuz such boldness in crime possible ? I raised my head and looked out into the room, and then with a wild shriek I covered up my head. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 45 1 Then 1 discovered that there wuz only one thin sheet over me. The sight I had seen had driv' the blood in my veins all back to my heart, A tall white filler wuz a-standin' before the sjdass, draped from head to foot in heavy white drapery. I'd often turned it over in my mind in hours of ease which I'd rather have appear to me in the night — a burglar or a ghost. And now in the tumultous beatin's of my heart I owned up that I would ruther a hundred times it would be a burglar. Anything seemed to me better than to be alone at night with a ghost. But anon, as I quaked and trembled under that sheet, the voice spoke agin — " Samantha, are you awake ?" And I sprung up in bed agin, and sez I — "Josiah Allen, where are you? Oh, save me, Josiah ! save me !" The white figger turned. " Save you from what, Samantha ? Is there a mouse under the bed, or is it a spider, or what ?" " Who be you ?" sez I, almost incoherently. " Be you a ghost ? Oh, Josiah, Josiah !" And I sunk back onto the pillow and busted into tears. The relief wuz too great. 452 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. But anon Wonder seized the place that Fear had held in my frame, and dried up the tear-drops, and I sprung up agin and sez — "What be you a-doin', Josiah Allen, rigged up as you be in the middle of the night, with the lights all a-burnin' ?" For every gas jet in the room was a-blazin' high. Sez he, " I am posin' for a statute, Samantha." And come to look closter, I see he had took off the blanket and bedspread and had swathed 'em round his form some like a toga. And J see it wuz them that he wnz apostrofizin' and orderin' to lay down in folds and fall graceful. And somehow the idee of his takin' the bed- clothes off en me seemed to mad me about as much as his foolishness and vanity did. And sez 1, " Do you take off them bedclothes offen you, and put 'em back agin, and come to bed !" But he didn't heed me, he went on with his vain doin's and aetin'. " I am impersonatin' Apollo !" sez he, a-layin' his head onto one side and a-lookin' at me over his shoulder in a kind of a languishin' way. Sez he, a-liftin' his heel, and holdin' it up a little ways, " I did think I would be Mercury, but I hadn't any wing handy for my off heel. I would be strikin' as Mercury," sez he, "but I think I would 454 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. be at my best as Apollo. What do you think I had better be, Samantha ?" " A loonatick would strike me as the right thino- Josiah Allen, or an idiot from birth. " Or," sez I, speakin' more ironicler as my fear died away, leavin' in its void a great madness and tiredness, "if you'd brung your scythe along you might personate Old Father Time." I guess this kinder madded him, and sez he, " Don't you want to pose, Samantha ? "Don't you want to be the Witch of Endor?" sez he. "Yes," sez I, "I'd love to! If I wus her you'd see sights in this room that would bow your old bald head in borrow, and drive you, vain old ereeter that you be, back where you belong." He wuz afraid he'd gone too fur, and sez he, " Mebby you'd ruther be Venus, Samantha ? Mebby you'd ruther appear in the nude ?" Sez I, coldly, " I should think that you'd done your best to make me appear in that way, Josiah Allen. There's only one thin sheet to keep me from it. " But," sez I, spruntin' up, " if you talk in that way any more to me I'll holler to Miss Plank ! " Pardner or no pardner, I hain't a-goin' to be im- posed upon this time of night !" SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 455 Sez I, " I should be ashamed if I wuz in your place, the father and grandfather of a family, and the deacon in a meetin'-house, to be up at midnight a-posin' for statutes and actin'." " But," sez he, " I didn't know but they would want to sculp me while I wuz here in Chicago, and I thought I'd git a attitude all ready. You never know what may happen, and it's always well to be prepared, and attitudes are dretful hard to catch onto at a minute's notice." Sez I, "Do you come back to bed, Josiah Allen. 'W nat would they want of you for a statute?" "Wall," sez he, reluctantly relinquishin' his toga, or, in other words;, the flannel blanket and bed- spread — " I see many a statute to-day with not half my good looks, and if Chicago wanted me to ornament it, I wanted to be prepared." I sithed aloud, and sez T — " Here I be waked up for good, as tired as 1 wuz, all for your vanity and actin'." " Wall," sez he, "Samantha, my mind wuz all so stirred up and excited by seein' so mam' ile paintin's and statutes to-day, that I felt dretful." And as he sez this mv madness all died away, as the way of pardners is, and a great pity stole into my heart. I do spoze he wuz half delirous with seein' too 456 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. much. Like a man who has oversot himself and come down on the floor. That man had been led round too much that day, for my own pleasure ; to gratify my own esthetik taste I had almost ruined the pardner of my youth and middle age. His mind had been stretched too fur, for the size on't, so I sez soothin'ly — " Wall, wall, Josiah, come back to bed and go to sleep, and to-morrow we'll go and see some live stock and some plows and things." So at last I got him quieted down, though he did murmur once or twice in his sleep — Apollo ! Her- cules ! etc., so I see what his inward state wuz. But towards mornin' he seemed to git into a good sound sleep, and I did too, and we waked up feelin' quite considerable rested and refreshed. And it wuzn't till I had a sick-headache bad, and he wuz more than good to me, and I see that he repented deep of it, that I forgive him fully. But of course it broke up ourgoin' to fashionable places agin to eat — he come out conqueror, after all — men are deep. CHAPTER XVI. Wall, this mornin' — it bein' kind of a muggy and cloudy one, I proposed that we should go and visit the Fishery Department. And I d'no why I should a thought on it this mornin' more'n another one — only it wuz jest such a day as Josiah and Thomas Jefferson always took for goin' a-fishin' in the creek back of Jones- ville. And then we had fish for breakfast too — siscoes — mebby that put me in mind on it some. But anyway, I wuz always interested in the sub- ject of fishin', and the hull world is. For what wuz the Postles ? Fishers. For what did the Great Master name His beloved ? Fishers of men. Why, the Bible is full of fishin' and fisherman, clear back to Jonah ; and how took up he wuz with a fish, and how full the fish wuz of him ! Fishin' wuz the first industry in the New World. When our Forefathers landed on Plymouth Rock they found the harbor shaped some like a fish-hook, and then consequently they went to fishin'. 45 S SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Who got Washington and his army over the Delaware River that bitter cold night in 1777, when the fate of our country wuz a-hangin' over that sea of broken ice — ruin on this side, and possible success on the other, but the impassable gulf of bitter cold water and the crashing masses of ice between — who got 'em acrost ? Fisherman. Our country has always been noted in its inter- est in fishin'. Why, at the Tnternatial Exhibition at Berlin in 1880, America won the first prize given by the Emperor for its display. And 1 knew when it done so well on a foreign shore, it vvuzn't goin' to make any failure of it- self here under its own line, and lish tree, so to speak. Wall, as T said, Josiah expressed a willingness to go, and consequently and subsequently we went. Wall, we found it wuz a group of buildin's on a beautiful island — in the northern part of the lagoon, joinin' the improved part of Jackson Park. There wuz three on em' in number. The middle one wuz a long buildin' with a high dome, and some towers in the centre on't, and the arches and the pillows wuz all ornamented off with figgers of fishes, and crabs, and lobsters, and all sorts of water growth. It looked uneek, and first-rate, too. And when T say it wuz a long buildin', T don't SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 459 want it understood that I mean length as we call it in Jonesville, but Chicago length — or ruther Chicago Jackson Park length, which is fur longer than jest plain Chicago largeness. In the centre of the big buildin' is a fish-pond all ornamented with rock work, and all sorts of aquatic plants. And then all joined on to the main buildin', at each end and connected with it by carved arches, handsome as arches wuz ever made in the world, and trimmed off in the uneek way I've mentioned prior to and beforehand, wuz two other buildin's, each one on 'em 135 feet long. The buildin' to the east is the aquarum, or live fish exhibit, and that to the west is to show off the anglin' exhibit. They wuz round and kinder double-breasted lookin' on both sides. The shape on 'em is called pollygon — probable named after the man's wife that built it. It had a good many sides to it — mebby Polly had to her. I know wimmen are falsely called seven-sided lots of times. Wall, in the middle of the buildin' designed for the aquarum is a big pool of water 26 feet in di- ameter; in the middle of the pool is a risin' up some rocks covered with moss and ferns, from which cool streams of water arc a-drippin' and a-drizzlin' 460 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. down onto the reeds and rushes, where the most gorgeous-colored fishes you ever see are playin' round in the water, as cool and happy in the mid- dle of a meltin' summer-day — not needin' no fans or parasols, jest a-divin' and a-splashin' down in the wet water, and enjoyin' themselves. I bet lots of swelterin' folks jest envied 'em. Surroundin' this rotunda, under a glass ruff, runs two lines of aquarums, separated by a wide gallery — more'n fifty of 'em in all. In the fresh water wuz all kinds of fishes from all parts of the country, and the world. Salmons, muskalunges, the great Mississippi cat-fish, alligators, trout, white-fish, sun-fishes, etc., and etcetry. In the salt water wuz sharks, torpedoes, dog-fish- es, goose-fishes, sheeps heads, blue-fishes, weak-fish, and strong ones, too, I should think— why, more'n I could name if I should talk all day. Why, I shouldn't a been surprised a mite if I had seen a-floatin' up to me that old Leviathan of job's that " couldn't be pulled out with a hook, or his nose with a cord that wuz let down." Why, I wouldn't a been surprised at nothin' — I felt a good deal of the time jest like that in all of the buildin's, and I said so to my Josiah when he'd try to surprise me by lookin' at some strange thing. " No, Josiah," I would say. "I caiVt be surprised no more, In the salt water wuz sharks, torpedoes, dog-fishes, goose- fishes, WEAK-FISH, AND STRONG ONES, TOO, I SHOULD THINK. 462 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. the time for that has gone by — gone by, a long time ago." And then there wuz gobys, sticklebacks, sea- horses, devil-fishes, and I believe there wuz a jell fish, though I didn't see it. Though so fur as jell goes, as I told Josiah, I would ruther make my own jell out of my own berries and crab-apples, and then I know how it's made. But, howsumever, there wuz all the fishes that ever swum in America, Mexico, South America, Europe, and Asia, and I d'no but what there wuz a few from Africa. And to see on the bottom of them aquarums shells a-walkin' round, with the own- ers of them shells inside of 'em, wuz a sight to see. Why, any one here would have 60 or 70 emotions a minute right along — a-seein' these, and a-meditat- in' on the wonders of the deep. And thru there wuz the rainbow fish, which is found both on the Pacific and Atlantic coasts — it has all thr colors the rainbow ever had, and more too. And then to see our own magnificent water-lilies a-tioatin' on top of the water, and then to see 'em down under the water, with fishes a-floatin' all amongst 'em — oh, what a sight ! what a sight it wuz ! Outside of the buildin', when at last we did tear SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 463 ourselves away from that seen of enchantment, and went outside, I upheld by my motive to see every- thing I could, and Josiah by the idee that we would step into a restaurant that wuzn't fur away. When outside we see a lot of ponds all illustra- tin' the best way of pond culture, and all sorts of aquatic plants. Wall, at Josiah's request, we went to the nighest place and had a cup of tea and a good little lunch. And then we went back to see the fish-hooks and things that is in the west buildin' of the group. Josiah said mebby he could git his eye on some new kind of a fish-hook. He said he'd love to go beyend Deacon Henzy and Sime Yerden if he could- -they boasted so over their tackle. And truly I should have thought he might have gone ahead of anything, or anvbodv, if he could have carried 'em home. There wuz evervthing that could be thought on, or that ever wuz seen in the form of fishin' apparatus — everv kind of hook, and spear, and rod, and queer-lookin' baskets and pots, and tackle to catch eels and lobsters, and then there w Liz models of tishin' boats and vessels, and every- thing else under the sun that any fisherman ever sot eyes on, from Josiah back to the Postles, and from the Postles down to any tishin' club in 1893. Whv. if vou'll believe it — and I d no as I 464 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. would blame you if you wouldn't, it bein' a fish story, as it were — but we did see some fish-hooks from Pompeii that had been buried 2000 years, and come out fish-hooks after all — a good deal like them Josiah uses in Jonesville creek. And speakin' of old things, we see some fishes that day — the oldest in the world ; they come from Colorado — dug out of the rocks of ages ago ; they wuz covered with bone instead of scales, which showed that they had had a pretty hard time on't. And then there wuz a big collection of nets made by the Indians from seal sinew, seal-skin braided, roots of willow tree, and whalebone. Of these last it took four men three weeks to make one, and two of these wuz gin in exchange for a jug of molasses to make rum with. A shame and a disgrace ! No savage would have cheated so — no, it takes a white man to do that. And we see artificial flies so nateral that a spider would go to weavin' a net to catch it. And artificial grasshoppers, and crickets, and frogs, and little artificial minney fish made of metal, glass, pearl, and rubber. Why, if I had seen one of 'em in the brook that runs through our paster, I should have been tempted to have bent a pin, and take some weltin' cord out of my pocket and go to fishin' for it. SAMANTHA AT THE V OKLD S FAIR. 465 And if they fooled me, who am often called very wise, what would you think of their foolin' a fish, who hain't got any bump of wisdom on their heads ? And then there wuz trollin' spoons of all kinds and shapes, in all kinds of metal, and trol- lin' squids — I'd never hearn of that n a m e before — ■ squid ! but t h e y h a d 'em of all kinds ; and tackle boxes, and floats, and landin' nets, and gaff hooks ; there is sunthin' else I never hearn on — gaff hooks ! and snells, and gimps, and spinners. Why, I'd never hearn on 'em, and Josiah hadn't either, though he acted dretful knowin', and put on a face of extreme enjoyment and appreciation. And he sez, " How a man duz enjoy seem' such things that he's ust to and knows all about !" And I sez, "What do you do with squids, any- wav, or gaffs, or snells ?" "Why," sez he, "I should snell with 'em, and gaff, and squid. What do you spozc ?" 466 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. " How do you do it ?" sez I. " How do you snell ?" And then he had to own up that he didn't know how it wuz done. Truly it has been said that three questions will Moor the biggest philosopher. But it only took two to take the pride and vainglory out of Josiah Allen. Wall, the information gathered together here from all parts of the world, and disseminated out to individuals of the collected world, will probable make a great difference in the enjoyment and prac- tical benefit of the fisherman, and tell hard on the fishes of 1894. Wall, we stayed round here a-lookin' at 'em dif- ferent buildin's till dark, and then we didn't see a thousandth nor a millionth part of what wuz to be seen there. And I hain't half described its wonders and glories as I'd ort to, and one reason is, nobody can describe any of the buildin's — no, not if they had the tongue of men and angels. No, they are too stupendous to describe. And then, agin, I have had a kind of a feelin' of delicacy that has kind of held me back — I have been hampered. For I have kep such a tight grip holt of my principle all the while I've been describin' it, that it SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 467 has weakened the grasp of my good right hand on my steel pen. I knew well how hard, how almost impossible it wuz to talk about fishin' for any length of time without lyin'. But I know I have told Josiah time and agin that it wuz possible to do it, if you kep a firm holt of the helium, and leaned heavy on principle. I have done it, and I am proud and happy in the thought. Unless, mebby, I have lied the other way. Good land ! I didn't think of that ; I wuz so determined to keep within bounds, that I am actually afraid that I've lied that way ; in order not to tell the fish story too big, I hain't told it big enough. Good land ! I guess I won't boast any more. Wall, seein' that I ammsunthin' of a hurry, I will let it go, and mebby if I should go over it. agin I should lie the other way. Good land ! good land ! what a world this is, and with all your eare and watchfulness, how hard it is to keep walkin' right along, in Injun file, along the narrer rope walk of megumness and exact truth. But I am a-eppisodin', and to resoom. Wall, as I said, we didn't git home till pitch dark, and then I drempt of fish all night, and eels, and alligators, and such. It wuz tegus. 468 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. The next mornin' Josiah Allen met me all riz up with a new idee. He had been out to buy a new pair of suspenders, his havin' gin out the day before ; and he come to our room, where I wuz calmly settin' a-bastin' in some clean cotton lace into the sleeves of my alpaca dress. And sez he right out abrup, with no preamble, " Samantha, less go down to the Fair Ground in a whale." " In a whale?" sez I ; " are you aloonatick, or what duz ail you, to try to make a pair of Jonahses of us at our age ?" " Wall," sez he, " they have 'em here to carry folks down to the Fair, I know, for I hearn it straight, and I should think we wuz jest the right age to go as easy as possible, and try experiments." " Wall," sez I firmly, " I hain't a-goin' to try no such experiment as that. If the Lord called me to tackle a whale, I would tackle it, but I hain't had no callin', and I hain't goin' to try to ride out in no whale." " I'm a-callin' you," sez he. "Wall," sez I dryly, :0m I DREMPT OF FISH ALL NIGHT SlSt j '^ ou ham,t the Deit > n -~ v '^/^ / \y^ nn h"idpprl fur from it no, indeed, fur from it." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 46c "Wall," sez he, "I'd love to go, Samantha. What a glorious piece of news to cany back to Jonesville, that we rid out in a whale. In the old Jonesville meetin'-house now, when Elder Minkley is a-preach- in' on Jonah — and you know he trots him out a dozen times a year as a warnin' — how you and I could lift up our heads and tost 'em, and how the necks of the Jonesvillians would be craned round to look at us — we two, who had rid out in a whale — we had been right there, and knew how it wuz." "I don't want to show off,*' sez I, "and I don't want any necks craned or tosted on account of my gettin' into a whale and ridin' it ;" and then I sez, " Good land ! what won't Chicago do next ?" And I added, " It don't surprise me a mite ; it hain't no more of a wonder than lots of things I have seen here. I might a known if Chicago had sot its mind on havin' a whale to transport folks to the World's Fair she'd a done it, but I won't tackle the job." "There it is," sez he gloomily, " I never make ar- rangements to distinguish myself and make a name, but you must break it up. I had lotted on this, Samantha," sez he. He looked sad and deprested, and though I was bound not to give in and go, vet I made some in- quiries. 4/0 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. " How many does the whale cany ? What makes you think we could both git into it ?" Sez Josiah, "It carries 5000 at a time." I felt weak as a cat, jest as I had felt time and agin sence I had come to Chicago. "Wall," sez I in weak axents, and dumbfound- ered, " any whale story I could hear about Chicago wouldn't surprise me a mite." And I wiped my brow on my white linen hand- kerchief, for though the idee didn't surprise me none, it started the sweat. Sez Josiah, " It is 225 feet long, and has a foun- tain in it, and a skylight 138 feet long." But jest at that minute, before I could frame a reply, even if I could have found a frame queer- shaped enough to hold my curious — curious feelin's — Miss Plank knocked at the door and said she vvuz ready to go — we had made arrangements to go to- gether that mornin' — and Josiah tackled her about the whale ; and sez she briskly — " Oh, yes ; the whaleback Christopher Columbus ! It would be a good idee to go to the grounds in it ; you can go down in it in half an hour — it is only seven or eight milds." So we fell in with her idee ; and bein' ust to the place, she took the lead, and also the street cars, and we soon found ourselves on board the biggest SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 47 1 floatin' ship I ever laid eyes on. And I couldn't see as it looked much like a whale, unless it wuz that it wuz long;, and kinder pinted, and turned up at both ends, some the shape of a whale. Wall, I guess the hull five thousand folks wuz on board, and had brung their relations on both sides. It looked like it, and we steamed along by the shore for quite a spell, the city a-layin' in plain view for mild after mild — or that is, in as plain view as it could be under its envelopin' curtain of smoke. But bimeby the smoke all cleared away, the air wuz clear and pure, and the lake lay fair and placid fur off as we could see. It might a been the ocean, for all we could tell, for you can't see no further than you can, anyway, and you can't see no further than that on the Atlantic or the Pacific. Way beyend what you can't see might stretch thousands and thousands of milds and a new con- tinent ; or it might be a loggin' camp, or Kalama- zoo. It don't make no difference to your feelin's, it has all the illimitable expanse, the vastness of the great ocean. So it wuz with the outlook on the rlashin' blue waters on that magic mornin 5 . And pretty soon the White City riz up like a city of bewilderin' beauty and enchantment, with the sun a-lookin' down from a blue sky, and lightin' up 472 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. the tall, white walls, and gilded domes, and towers, and minarets. And as we floated along by Jackson Park, and could git a plain view of the perfect huildin's — the lagoons with fairy boats a-skimmin' over the sparklin' surface — in fact, in plain view of the hull vast, bewilderin' seen of matchless splendor — why, I declare I felt almost as if I wuz took back clear into the Arabian Nights Entertainments, and magic seens wuz bein' unfolded before my enrap- tured vision. Why, I almost felt that my Josiah wuz a genii, and Miss Plank a geniess. I wouldn't a won- dered a mite any minute if a carpet had dropped down for us to git onto, and we floated off into Bagdad. I felt queer — extremely. But Bagdad nor no other Dad wuz ever so en- chantin'ly lovely as the seen outspread before our eyes. As surpassin'ly beautiful as the Exposition is from every side, hind side and fore side, and from top to bottom, it is, I do believe, most radiantly lovely from the water approach. You needn't be a mite afraid of gittin' your idees too riz up about the onspeakable beauty of the seen. No matter if they waiz riz up higher than you ever drempt of rizin' 'em up, instead of fallin', they will, so to speak, find themselves on the ground floor — in the suller, as you may say — so fur up beyend your SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 473 highest imagination is the reality of that wonderful White City of the West — Magic city that has sprung up there amidst the blue waters and green forests like a dream of enchantment, a hymn of glory, with not one false, harsh note in it to mar the glory and perfectness of the song. Now, I have had my idees riz up lots of times — they have riz and fell so much that my muse has fairly lamed herself time and agin, and went round limpin' for some time. And Josiah had told me time and agin, as I would go on about the beauty I expected to see at the World's Fair, " Samantha, you expect too much ; you will get dissapinted ; tain't Heaven you are goin' to ; anybody would most expect, to hear you go on, that you expected to see the New Jerusa- lem — you are goin' to be dissapinted." Wall, sure enough I wuz, but the dissapintment wuz on the other side — I hadn't expected half nor a quarter nor a millionth part enough. My muse instead of comin' down from the heights that I spozed she wuz on a-cungerin' up that seen — to use metafor — she had always, as you may say, sot down flat on the ground. Why, I couldn't do justice to it in words, nor Josiah couldn't, nor Miss Plank couldn't, not if we 474 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. all on us had a dictionary in one hand and a Eng- lish reader in the other, and had travelled down there that beautiful mornin' with a brass band. I wuz so wropped up in my bewildered and extatic admiration that my companions wuz entirely lost from sight, when Miss Plank sez — "Here we are, ready to land." And indeed I see on comin' to myself that the hull 5000, and their relations on both sides, wuz on the move, and it wuz time for me to disembark myself, which I proceeded to do, a-follered by the forms of my Josiah and Miss Plank. She stepped out quite briskly over her namesake, and so did Josiah. They didn't take in the full beauty and grandeur of the seen as I did — no, indeed. They could think of vittles even at that time, for I heard Josiah say — " We will settle on some place to go that is handy to a restaurant." And Miss Plank picked one where the biled corned beef wuz delicious, and the pies and cof- fee — Corned beef ! oh, my heart, in such a time as this ! Beef corned in such a hour ! But I for- give 'em and pitied 'em, for it wuz my duty. Wall, we told Josiah he should have his way that mornin', and sro where he wanted to — and he want- a A 4/6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. ed to tackle Machinery Hall ; consequently we tackled it. And how many acres big do you suppose this buildin' wuz ? Seventeen acres and a half is the size of the floor — Jest half a acre more than Silenas Bobbetses farm, that he broke old Squire Bobbetses will to git, and he and his twin brother Zebulin come to hands and blows about, in front of the Jonesville post- office. Zebulin said it wuz too much land to give to one of the children — they wuz leven of em — and the farm didn't go round — the others didn't have only fifteen acres apiece. Yes ; this one buildin' covered as much ground as Silenas Bobbet gits a good livin' from, a-raisin' cab- bage and spinach. And the buildin' wuz seemin'ly all wrought of white marble, with statutes, and colonnades, and towers, and everything else for its comfort, and inside wuz every machine that wuz ever made or thought on, from a sassage-cutter and apple-parer to a steam engine in full blast. I believe they tuned up higher and louder when I went in — it wouldn't be nothin' surprisin' if they did, some as the brass band strikes up as the hero enters. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS PAIR. 477 This song wuz the loud, strong chorus of Labor, that echoes all over the world, grand chorus that is played by the full orkestry of the sons and daugh- ters of toil. Oh, how many notes there is in this strong, ail- pervadin' anthem ! Genius, and Patience, and Ambition, and Enterprise, and Ardent Endeavor — high notes, and low ones, all blent together, all tuned to the hauntin' key. It is a sam that shakes the hull earth with its might. As I entered this palace, sacred to its song, how its echoes rolled through my ear pans, how them pans seemed to fairly shiver under the mighty strokes of the song, and its weird, painful accompaniment of boilers a-boilin', rollin' mills a-rollin' ! Water wheels, freight elevators — cranes a-cran- in', derricks a-derrickin', divin' apparatus, fire-ex- tinguishin' apparatus — Machines of all sorts and kinds to manufacture all sorts of goods, and all hands to work at it — silk, cotton, wool, linen, ingy-rubber, ropes, and paper. Saw-mills, wind-mills, printin'-presses a-pressin'. All sorts of tools to make all sorts of picters — en- gravin's, color printin' — picters from the 16th cen- tury up to 1893 — they wuz relief engravin's. I spoze they are called so because it is such a 47# SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. relief to think we don't have to look at them old picters now. And there wuz half-tone processes, mechanical and medicinal processes, and every other process you ever hearn on, and didn't ever hear on, right there in a procession in front of me, and all a-processin'. And there wuz machines for makin' clocks, and watches, and jewelry, and buttons, and pins, and all kinds of appliances ever used in machinery, and stun, sawin', and glass-grin din' machinery a-grindin' and makin' bricks and pottery, and used in makin' artificial stun — the idee ! You'd a thought the stun wuz all made before the Lord rested. And there wuz rollin' mills a-rollin', and forges a-forgin', and rollin' trains, and harnesses, and squeez- ers a-squeezin' — and every machine that wuz ever made to shape metals and tire mills, and mills that wuzn't tired, 1 guess — I didn't see any, but I spoze they wuz there. But they all looked tired to me — tired as a dog, but I spoze it wuz my feelin's. I see all through this buildin' that there w T uz more wimmen than men there — which shows what interest wimmen takes in solid things as well as ornimental. Wall, we hung around there till I wuz fearfully wore out — with the sights I see and the noise I SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 479 hearn — and it wuz a relief to my eyes and ears (and I believe them ear pans never will be the pans they wuz before I went in there) — it wuz a relief when my companion begun to feel the nawin's of hunger. And after we went through Machinery Hall we went through the machine shops, at a pretty good jog, and the power-house, where there is the biggest engine in the world — 24,000 horse power. Good land ! and in Jonesville we consider 4 horses hitched to a load very powerful ; but jest think of it, twenty-four thousand horses jest hitched along in front of each other — why, they would reach from our house clear to Zoar — the idee ! But Josiah's inward state grew worse and worse, and finally sez he, in pitiful axents — " Samantha, I am in a starvin' state," and Miss Plank looked quite bad. So at their request we went a little further south to the White Horse Inn. This inn is a exact reproduction of the famous White Horse Inn in England. Thinkin' so much of Dickens as I do (introduced to him by Thomas Jefferson), it wuz a comfort to see over the man- tlery-piece the well-known form of " Sam Weller," the old maid, and others of Dickenses characters, that seem jest as real to me as Thomas Jefferson, or Tirzah Ann. 480 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Over the main entrance is a statute of a white horse, lookin' considerable like our old mair, only more high-headed. The original inn had a open court, where stage- coaches drove in to unload, and from which Mr. Pickwick and his faithful Sam Weller often alight- ed. But instead of using it for horses now, they use it for a smokin' -room for men ; they can't use it for both of 'em, for horses don't want to go in there — horses don't smoke ; tobacco makes 'em sick — sick as a snipe. Man is the only animal, so fur as I know, who can have tobacco in any shape put into his mouth without resentin' it, it is so nasty. Wall, we got a good clean meal there at a reason- able price, though Miss Plank thought there wuzn't enough emptin' in the bread, and the sponge cake lacked sugar. But I think they know how to cook there — -that inn is the headquarters of the Pick- wick Club. Lots of English folks go there, as is nateral. Wall, after we had a lunch and rested for a spell, Josiah proposed that we should go and see the Transportation Buildin'. Miss Plank had to leave us now to go home and see about her cookin'. And we wended on alone. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 48 1 On our way there we met Thomas J. and Maggie and Isabelle. They wuz jest a-goin' to Machinery Hall. Maggie and Isabelle looked sweet as two new-blown roses, and Thomas J. smart and hand- some. We stopped and visited quite a spell, real affec- tionate and agreeable. Oh, what a interestin' couple our son and his wife are ! and Isabelle is a girl of a thousand. Krit had gone on to Dakota, on business, they said, but wuz comin' back anon — or mebby before. Truly, if anybody had kep track of their pride and self-conceit, and counted how many times it fell, and fell hard, too, durin' the World's Fair, it would have been a lesson to 'em on the vanity of earthly things, and a good lesson in rithmetic, too. Why, they couldn't tell the number of times unless they could go up into millions, and I d'no but trillions. Why, it would keep a-fallin' and a-fallin' the hull durin' time you wuz there, if you kep watch on it to see ; but truly you didn't have no time to, no more'n you did your breathin', only when it took a little deeper fall than common, and then as it lay prostrate and wounded, it drawed your atten- tion to it. Now, at Jonesvilie, the neighborin' wimmen had 482 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. envied and looked up to my transportation facili- ties. Miss Gowdy and she that wuz Submit Tewks- bury would often say to me — "Oh, if I had your way of gittin' round — if 1 could only have your way of goin' jest where you want to and when you want to !" Such remarks had fed my vanity and pride. And I will own right up, like a righteous sinner, that I had ofttimes, though I had on the outside a becomin' appearance of modesty — Yet on the inside I wuz all puffed up by a feelin' of my superior advantages — As I would set up easy on the back seat of the democrat, and the old mair would bear me on gloriously, and admired by the neighborin' wimmen who walked along the side of the road afoot, and anon the old mair a-leavin' 'em fur behind. And, like all high stations, that back seat in the democrat and that noble old mair had brung down envy onto me and mean remarks. It come straight back to me — Miss Lyman Tar- box told she that wuz Sally Ann Mayhew, and she that wuz Sally Ann told the minister's wife, and she told her aunt, and her aunt told my son-in- law's mother, and Miss Minkley told Tirzah Ann, and she told me— it come straight — SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 4S3 " That Josiah Allen's wife looked like a fool, and acted like one, a-settin' up a-ridin' whenever she went anywhere, while them that wuz full as likely walked afoot 1" I took them remarks as a tribute to my great- ness — a plain acknowledgement of my superior means of locomotion and transportation. They didn't break the puff ball of my vanity and pride, and let the wind out — no, indeed ! But alas ! alas ! as I entered the Transportation Buildin', and looked round me, there wuz no gentle prick to that overgrown puff ball to let the gas out drizzlin'ly and gradual — no, there wuz a sudden smash, a wild collapse, a flat and total squshiness — the puff ball wuz broke into a thousand pieces, and the wind it contained, where wuz it ? Ask the breezes that wafted away Caesar's last groans, that blowed up the dust over buried Pompeii. The buildin' itself wuz a sight — why, it is 960 feet long, and the cupola in the centre 166 feet high, with eight elevators to take you up to it ; the great main entrance wuz all overlaid with gold — looked full as good as Solomon's temple, I do believe — and broad enough and big enough for a hull army of giants to walk through abreast, and then room enough for Josiah and me besides. But it WUZ on the inside of il that my pride 484 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. fell and broke all to pieces, as I looked round me and down the long distance behind and before me. I knew — for I had been told — that one fourth of all the savin's of civilized man is invested in railroads, and when I thought of how dretful rich some men and countries are, and kings and em- perors, etc., I felt prepared to do homage to a undertakin' that had swallowed up one fourth of all that accumulated wealth. But sence the world begun, never had there been a exhibition before showin' all the railroad systems of the world side by side, all the big American rail- roads, and great Britain, and France, and Germany. The Baltimore and Ohio exhibit shows how the railroads of the world have been thought out grad- ual, and come up from nothin' to what they are — grew up from a little steam carriage that wuz shut up in Paris in 1 760 as bein' disordely. " Disordely !" Good land ! there never wuz a new idee worth anything in this world but has been called " disordely" by fools. You can see that very little carriage here at the Fair ; after bein' shut up for two hundred years, it comes out triumphant, just as Columbus has. Stevensonses first engine is here — an exact repro- duction — and the hull caboodle of the first attempts leadin' up to the engines of to-day. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 485 Dretful interestin' to look at these rough little inventions and to speculate on what prophetic striv- ing, and yearnin's, and heartaches, and despairs, and triumphs went into every one on 'em. For every one on 'em wuz follered, as a man is by his black shadder, by the cold, evil spirits of unbe- lief, malice, envy, and cheatin'. The sun the inventors walked under — the glowin' sun of prophecy and foreknowledge — always casts such shadders, some as our sun duz, only blacker. And every one of them old engines by the help of machinery is moved and turned, just as if Old Time himself had laid his hour-glass off en his head, and wuz a-puttin' his old shoulders under their iron shafts, and a-settin' them to goin' agin, after so long a time. How T wished as I looked at 'em that Stevenson and the rest of them men who lived, and worked, and suffered ahead of their time, could a been there to see the fruit of their glowin' fancies blow out in full bloom ! But then I thought, as I looked out of a winder into the clear, blue depths of sky overhead, Like as not they are here now, their souls havin' wrought out some finer existence, so etheral that our coarser senses couldn't recognize 'em — mebby they wuz right here round the old home of their thoughts, as 486 - SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. men's dreams will hang round the homes of their boyhood. Who knows now? I don't, nor Josiah. The New York Central exhibit shows the old Mohawk and Hudson train, a model of the first locomotive sot a-goin' on the Hudson in 1807 with a boundin' heart and a tremblin' hand by Robert Fulton, and which wuz pushed off from the pier and propelled onwards by the sneerin', mockin', un- believin' laughs of the spectators as much as from the breezes that swept up from the south. I would gin a cent freely and willin'ly if 1 could a seen Robert stand there side by side with that old locomotive and the fastest lightin' express of to-day — like seed and harvest — with Josiah and me for a verdant and sympathizin' background. Oh, what a sight it would a been, if his emotions could a been laid bare, and mine, too ! It would a been a sight long to remember. But to resoom. The first locomotive ever seen in Chicago wuz there a-puffin' out its own steam. It must felt proud-sperited in all of its old jints, but it acted well and snorted with the best on 'em. The 999, the fastest engine in the world, wuz by the side of the Clinton, the first engine ever made. I opened the coach door and got in. It looked jest like a SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 48/ common two-seated buggy of to-day, with seats on top, and water and wood to run it with kep in barrels behind the engine. And England and Germany, not to be outdone, brung over some of their finest railroads. Why, Wales brought over some of the actual stun ties and iron rails of the first railway in Great Britain ; and as for the splendor of the coaches, they go beyend anvthing that wuz ever seen in the world. Side by side with the finest passenger coaches that London sends stands the Canadian Pacific, with its dinin' and sleepin' cars, and you can form an idee about the richness on 'em when I tell you that the wood- work of 'em is pure mahogany. And then the other big railroads, not to be out- done, they have their finest and most elegant cars on show — The Pullman and Wagner and the Empire State, with its lightnin' speed, and post-office and news- paper cars, and freight, and express, and private cars. There is a German exhibit of some of them likelv ambulance cars used by the Red Gross Society in war time — cars that angels bend over as the poor dyin' ones are carried from the battle-field — angels of Ilealin' and of Pain. Then the Belgians have a full exhibit of the light, handy vehicles of all shapes, from a barrel 488 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. to a basket, that they make to run on rails. Plat- forms movin' by the instantaneous action of the Westinghouse brake on a train of one hundred cars is a sight to see. There are railroads for goin' like lightin' over level roads, and goin' up and down, and all sorts of street cars, a-goin' by horses, or mules, or light- nin', as the case might be. President Polk's old car- riage looked jest like Grandpa Smedly's great-grand- father's buggy, that stands in this old stun carriage house, and has stood there for ioo years and more. And all sorts of gorgeous carriages that wuz ever seen or hearn on, and carts, and wagons, and bug- gies, from a tallyho coach to a invalid's chair and a wheelbarrow, and from a toboggan to a bicycle, and palanquins of Japan, China, India, and Africa. Howdahs for elephants, saddles for camels, donkey exhibits from South America and Egypt, the rig of the water-carriers of Cairo, the milk-sellers of South America, and the cargados, or human pack- horses, of both sexes of that country — models that show the human and brute forms of labor. Models of ox-carts, used in Jacob's time, and in which, I dare presoom to say, Old Miss Jacob ust to go a-visitin' to old Miss Abraham and Isaae, and mebby stay all day, she and the children. And pneumatic tubes that I spoze will be used SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. old Miss Jacob ust to a-visitin'. fur more in the future, and for more various uses, and all kinds of balloons and air-ships. Balloon transportation — ridin' through the air swift as the wind — what idees that riz up under my fore- top, of takin' break- fast to home, and a-eatin' supper wdth the Widder Albert, or some of her folks, and spendin' the night with the Ox-cari Sphynx, a-settin' out by moonlight on the pyramids — a-settin' on the top stun, my feet on another one, and my chin in my hand, a-meditatin' on queer things, and a-neigh- borin' with 'em. From Jonesville to the Desert of Sarah, in a flash, as it were. Where wuz the old democrat — where, oh, where vv T uz she ? Ask the ocean waves as they break in thunder on the cliff, and hain't heard from no more — ask 'em, and if they answer you, you may hear from the old democrat. And then there wuz all kinds of vessels, and boats, and steamships, and canal-boats, and yachts, and elevators, and water railways. 490 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Why, right there in plain sight wuz a section sixty feet long of one of the new Atlantic steamers, cut out of the ship, some as you cut a quarter out of an orange, or cut off a stick of candy. You can see the hull of the ship in that one piece, from the hold to the upper deck — it looks like a struc- ture five stories high — it shows the state-room, saloon, music-room, and so forth, fitted up exactly as they are at sea, ororo-eous and como^eous in the extreme. And here is the reproduction of the Viking ship, nine hundred years old — dug up in a sand-hill in Norway, in 1880. It is fitted up exactly as the Storm Kings of one thousand years ago used 'em — ■ thirty-two oars, each seventeen feet long. Mebby that same ship brung over some Vikings here when the old Newport Mill wuz new. The English exhibit has a model of H. M. S. Victoria, three hundred and sixty feet long ; there is a immense lookin'-glass behind this model, so as to make it look complete, and it is a sight to behold — a sight. Why, the U. S. has models of their great steam- ships, the Etruria and the Umbria, and there are every kind of vessels that wuz ever hearn on, for trade, pleasure, or war, and all kinds of Oriental ships, and all kinds of craft that ever floated in every ocean and river of the known world SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 49 1 From a miniature Egyptian canoe, found in a tomb, to the sheep-skin rafts of the Euphrates and the dugouts of Africa, with sails, to the gorgeous sail- boats of the Adriatic and the most ancient vessels in the world. What a sight ! what a sight ! It would take weeks to jest count 'em, let alone studyin' 'em as you ort. And every machine in the known world for pro- pellin' boats and railways, from steam to lightnin'. Where wuz my old mair in such a seen ? Oh, ask my droopin' sperits where wuz she ? And there wuz everything about protection of life and property, communication at sea, protection against storms and fire, and all kinds of light-houses and divin' apparatus, and pontoons for raisin' sunken vessels out of the depths of the sea. And relics of Arctic explorations, every one on 'em weighted down with memories of cold, and hunger, and frozen death. And then there wuz movin' platforms and side- walks. The idee ! What would Submit and Miss Henzy say — to go out from our house and stand stun-still on the side of the road and be moved over to Miss Solomon Corkses ! Oh, my soul, oh, my soul, think on't ! And there wuz what they called a gravity road. 492 SA MANTHA AT Tl i E WORLDS FA1 K. And I asked Josiah "what he spozed that wuz ?" and he said, " He guessed it meant our country roads in the spring or fall." Sez he, " If them roads won't make a man feel grave to drive over 'em, or a horse feel grave, too, as they are a-wadin' up to their knees in the mud, and a-draggin' a wagon stuck half way up over the hub in slush and thick mud" — Sez he, " If a man won't feel grave under such circumstances, and a horse, too, then I don't know what will make him." "Wail," sez I, " if I wuz in Uncle Sam's place I wouldn't try to display 'em to foreign nations." Sez I, " They are disgraces to our country, and I would hush 'em up." " Yes," sez Josiah ; " that is a woman's first idee to cover up sunthin'." Sez he, " I honor the old man a-comin' right out and ownin' up his weaknesses. The country roads are shameful, and he knew it, and he knew that we knew it ; so why not come right out open and show 'em up ?" " Wall," sez I, " it would look as well agin in him to show a /// be romantic, and sail round with you in a gondola. I'd love to SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. the World as eager as Ruger's Arithmetic, or the English Reader." She made a real polite bow here, and I most knew from her looks that she wuz familiar with 'cm. And I kep right on, and sez I — " From everything that I have hearn on you ever sence you come here I have took to you, jest as the hull of the rest of America has. We think a sight on you — you have shown a pattern of sweetness, and grace, and true politeness, that is long to be re- membered. "And 1 want you to know that the only reason that 1 hain't invited you to Jonesville to visit me is that you have had such sights and sights of com- pany and invitations here and there, that I told Josiah that I wouldn't put another effort onto you. " I sez to him, sez 1, 'There are times when it is greater kindness to kinder slight anybody than it is to make on 'em.' And I told Josiah that though I would be tickled enough to have you come and stay a week right along, and though, as I sez to him, " 'The Infanty may feel real hurt to not have me pay no attention to her,' still I felt that I had Right on my side. "Sez I, ' It is enough to kill a young woman to have to be on the go all the time, as she has had to.' Sez I, 'The American Eagle has jest driv her about SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 507 from pillar to post. And Uncle Sam has most wore his old legs out a-escortin' her about "fiom pleasure to palaces," as the Him reads.' " And then, sez I, ' She has had considerable to do with Ward McAllister, and he's dretful wearin'.' " He's well-meanin', no doubt, and I have a good deal of sympathy for him. For, as I told Josiah, he's gittin' along in years, and I don't know what per- vision eternity would give to him in the way of en- tertainment and use. He can't expect to go on there to all eternity a-samplin' wine, and tvin' neck- ties, and makin' button-hole bokavs. "And I don't suppose that he will be allowed to sort out the angels, and learn 'em to bow and walk backwards, and brand some on 'em four hundred, and pick out a few and brand 'em one hundred, and keep some on 'em back, and let some on 'em in, and act. " I d'no what is a-goin' to be done in the next world, the home of eternal Truth and Realities, with a man who has spent his hull life a-smoothin' out and var- nishin' the husks of life, and hain't paid no atten- tion to the kernel. " I Ie tires America dretful, Ward duz, and I spoze like as not he'd be still more tuckerin' to Spain, not bein' used to him. and then, too, she's smaller, Spain 508 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. is, and mebby can't stand so much countin' and actin'. So, as I said to Josiah, ' The Infanty is a-havin' a hard time on't with the Ward McAllisters of society ; ' for, sez I, ' Though she lias set 'em a pat- tern of simple courtesy and good manners every time she's had a chance, I knew them four hundred well enough to know that it wouldn't be took.' I knew that the American Republic, as showed out by Ward McAllister and his 'postlcs, wouldn't be con- tented to use the simple, quiet courtesy of a Royal Princess. " No ; I knew America and Jonesville would have to see 'em a-goin' on, and actin', and a-plannin' which foot ort to be advanced first, and how many long breaths and how many short ones could be genteelly drawed by 'em durin' a introduction, and how many buttons their gloves must have, and how many inches the tops of their heads ort to come from the floor when they bowed, and whether their little fingers ort to be held still, or allowed to move a little. " And while Ward and his 'postles was draw T ed up in a line on one side of the ball-room, and not dastin' to move hand or foot for fear they wouldn't be moved genteel, you got dead tired a-waitin' for 'em to make a move of some kind. "It wuz a weary, tuckerin' sight to America and SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 509 me, and must have been dretful for you to gone through. " And I sez to Josiah, ' It is no wonder that the In- fanty got so tired of them performances that she had to set down and rest. "It tired America so a-seein' 'em a-pilotin' the party that she would have been glad to have sot down and rested. " Now if I'd invited you, Ulaley, as I wanted to, I wuzn't a-calculatin' to draw up Josiah and the hoys and Ury on one side of the room, and the girls and myself in a line on the other side, and not dastin' to advance and welcome you for fear I wouldn't put the right foot out first, or wouldn't put in the right number of breaths a second I ort to. "No ; I should have forgot myself in the pleasure of welcomin' you. I should have advanced to once with pride and welcome in every line of my lini- ment, and held out my hand in a respectful and joyful greetin', and let you know in every move I made how proud and glad I wuz to see you, and how proud and glad I wuz you could see me, and then I should have introduced Josiah and the children, who would have showed in their happy faces how truly welcome you wuz to Jonesville. You'd've enjoyed it first rate, Ulaley, and if there had been any difference in our manners from what 510 SAM.ANTIIA AT THE WOULD S FAIR. you'd been used to, and we might have made a bow or two less than you wuz accustomed to, why, your good sense would have told you that manners in Jonesville wuz different from Madrid, and you'd expect it and enjoy the difference, mebby. " Of course, I knew that we couldn't do by you exactly as they do in Spain in the way of amuse- ment — we couldn't git up no bull fight, not havin' the two materials. " But Josiah has got a old pair of steers down in our back medder that was always touchy and kinder quarrelsome. They are gittin' along in years, but mebby there is some fight left in 'em yet. " I think like as not that Josiah and Ury could have got 'em to kinder backin' up and kickin' at each other, and act in'. " I wouldn't gin a cent to seen it go on, but it would have been interestin', I hain't a doubt on't, to them that wuz gin to that sort o' things. "But, as I sez, I wouldn't put it on you, Ulaley." The Infanty looked real pleasant here — she almost laughed, she looked so amiable at me ; she realized well that she wuz a-meetin' one of the first wimmen of the nation, and that woman wuz a-doin' well by her. " But, as I say, Ulaley, I knew that it wuz too hard for you. I knew that between them Ward SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 5 I 1 McAllisters of society, and the hosts of your honest admirers, from Uncle Sam down to Commander Davis and Miss Mayor Gilroy, you wuz fairly heat out. And I wouldn't put you to the extra effort of comin' to Jonesville. I hated to give it up, hut Duty made me, and I want you to under- stand it and to explain it all out to Spain jest how it wuz." She smiled real sweet, and said she would, and she said "that she appreciated my thoughtful kind- ness." She wuz too much of a lady to talk about them that had entertained her. And I spoze she had been entertained through them New York parties. She's quite a case for fun, and we got to feelin' real well acquainted with each other, and congenial. She looked dretful pretty as she looked out side- ways at me and smiled. She's as pretty as a pink. And sez she, " You are very kind, madam ; I highly appreciate your goodness." "Yes," sez I, "it wuz nothin' but goodness that kep me back, for Josiah and I both think our eyes on you, both as a smart, pretty woman, and a representative of that country that wuz the means of discoverin' us." And sez I with a shudder, andaskairful look onto 512 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. me, " I can't bear to think of the contingency to not had jonesville and Chicago discovered, to say nothin' of the rest of the World. " But," sez T, " my anxiety to put myself right in your eyes has run away with my politeness." Sez I, " How is all your folks ?" Sez I, " How is little Al- phonso ? We think a sight of that hoy here, and his Ma. She's a-bringin' him up first rate, and you tell her that T think so. It will encourage her. " And how is your Ma ?" sez I ; and then I kinder backed out polite from that subject, and sez I. " I dare presoom to say that she has her good qualities; and mebby, like all the rest of the world, she has her drawbacks." And then a thought come onto me that made me blush with shame and mortification, and sez I, " I hain't said a word about your husband." Sez I, " I have said that I would pay particular attention to that man if I come in sight on him, and here I be, jest like the rest of America, not payin' him the attention that I ort, and leavin' him a-standin' up behind you, as usual. " How is Antoine ?" sez I. She said that " He was very well." " Wall," sez I, " I am glad on't ; from everything that America and I can learn of him he is a good fel- ler — a manly, good-appearin', good-actin' young man. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 513 " And America and I wish you both dretful well — you and Spain. We think dretful well of all of you ; and now," sez I, with some stateliness, " I am a-goin' to withdraw myself, and not tire you out any more." And so we shook hands cordial, and said good- bye, and I proceeded to withdraw myself, and I wuz jest a-backin' off, as I make a practice of doin' in my interviews with Royalty, when Duty gin me a sharp hunch in my left side, and I had to lock arms with her, and approach the Infanty agin on a delicate subject. I hated to, but I had to. Sez I, " Ulaley, I want you to forgive me for it if you feel hurt, but there is one subject that I feel as if I want to tackle you on." Sez I, "You've acted like a perfect lady, and a sampler of all womanly and royal graces, ever sence you come over here a-visitin', good enough to frame," sez I, " and hang up in our heart of hearts. "And there hain't but one fault that I have got to find with you, and I want to tell you plain and serious, jest as I'd love to have your folks tell Tirzah Ann if she should go over to Spain to represent Jonesville— " I want to say, jest as kind as I can s;i\ r , that if I wuz in your place I wouldn't smoke so much. 44 I want to tell you that if my girl, Tirzah Ann, 5T4 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. should ever go to Spain under the circumstances I speak on, and should light up her pipe in the Es- curial, I should want you to put it out for her. " I hate to have you smoke, Ulaley — I hate to like a dog. Of course," sez I, in reasonable axents, "if you wanted to smoke a little mullen or catnip for the tizik, I wouldn't mind it ; but cigaretts are dret- ful onhealthy, and I'm afraid that they will under- mind your constitution. And I think too much on you, Ulaley, to want you underminded." She smiled, and said sunthin' about its bein' the custom of her country. And I looked real pleasant at her, but firm, and sez I, " Customs has to be gone aginst by true Re- formers, and Prophets, Ulaley." Sez I, " Four hun- dred years ago it wuzn't the custom of the coun- tries to discover new worlds. " But your illustrious countryman branched out and stemmed the tide of popular disfavor, and found a grand New Land. " New Worlds lay before all onus, Ulaley — we can sail by 'em on the winds of popular favor and old custom, or we can stem the tide and row aginst the stream, and, 'Go in and take the country.' " You don't know what good lays in your power to do, Ulaley, you sweet young creeter you, and now God bless vou, and 2:ood-bve." "I HATE TO HAVE YOU SMOKE, UlALEY-I HATE TO LIKE A DOG. 5 l6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. There wuz a tear standin' in every one of my eyes as I said it, for a hull tide of emotions from four hundred years past to the present swashed up aginst me as I grasped holt of her pretty hand, and we parted. She looked real tender-hearted and good at me, as if she liked me, and as if her heart leaned up aginst my heart real clost. (What duz Ward McAllister and his 'postles know of such rapt moments ?) Her escort driv up in two carriages jest then, and I left her, and as I went down the steps on the other side I heard her talkin' volubly to 'em — a-describin' the great seen that had took place be- tween us, I dare say. They wuz pleased with it, I could see they wuz fairly a-laughin', they wuz so edified and highly tickled. Yes, Spain realizes it, my makin' so much on't. Wall, I didn't stay much longer, for weariness, and also the cords of affection, wuz a-drawin' me back to Miss Planks. Wall, the days and weeks wuz a-wearin' away, and Josiah and I wuz a-enjoyin' ourselves first rate. The children, and Isabelle, and Krit wuz a-havin' jest as good a time, too, as four smart young folks can have. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. $lj Their minds wuz naterallv, all four on 'em, as bright as a new dollar, and they had been enriched and disciplined by culture and education, so there wuz good soil indeed for the marvellous seed sowed here to spring up in a bountiful harvest. They, all four on 'em, enjoyed more than any- thing else the Congresses, and meetin's of the differ- ent societies of the world, for noble, and humane, and philanthropic interests. And as for me, if I wuz to be made to tell at the pint of the sword what I thought wuz the very best and most glorious product of the World's Colum- bian Fair, I would say I thought it wuz these orations, and debates, by the brightest men and wimmen on earth, congregated at Columbuses doin's. Thev wuz the wreaths of the verv finest, sweetest blossoms that crowned Uncle Sam's old brow this glorious summer of 1893. The most advanced thought on religion, art, science, philanthropy, and every branch of these noble and riz-up subjects wuz listened to there by my own rapt and orstruck ears. And not only the good and eloquent of my own Christian race, but Moslem, Buddhist, and 1 Iindoo. Teachers of every religious and philosophical system wuz heard, givin' friendly idees, and dretful riz-up ones, on every 5 18 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. subject designed to increase progress, prosperity, and the peace of mankind. What subjects could be bigger than these, and more important to the World and Jonesville? Not any ; not one. And what solid comfort I took through the hull caboodle of 'em — Peace Societies, Temperance, Wimmen's Rights, Sabbath Schools, Kindergarten, Christian Science, Woman's protective union, Improvement in dress, etc., etc., and etcetry. I sot happy as a queen through 'em all, and so did the girls, a-listenin' to every topic hearn on the great subject of makin' the old world happier and better behaved Josiah didn't seem to care so much about it. He would often excuse himself — sometimes he would have a headache, but most always his head- aches would improve so that he could git out into the city somewhere or onto the Fair ground. lie would most always recooperate pretty soon after we started to the Congress, or Lecture Hall, or wherever our intellectual treat wuz. And when I'd come home I'd find him pretty chipper. And then often the children would come after us in a carriage and take us all over the city and out into the suburbs, and display all the strange sights SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 519 to us, or they would take us to the beautiful parks, through the long, smooth, beautiful boulevards. And no city in the world can go ahead of Chicago in this, or so it seems to me— the number and beauty of their parks, and the approaches to them. There wuz a considerable number of railroads to cross, and I wuz afraid of bein' killed time and agin a-crossin' of 'em, and would mention the fact anon, if not oftener ; but I didn't git killed, not once. Wall, so Time run along ; roses and ripe fruit wreathed his old hour-glass, and we didn't hardly realize how fast he wuz a-swingin' his old scythe, and how rapid he was a-walkin'. Isabelle had promised to come and stay a week with me jest as soon as a room was vacant. And so the day that Gertrude Plank left I writ a affectionate note to her, and reminded her of her promise, and that I should expect her that evenin' without fail. I sent the note in the mornin', and at my pardner's request, and also agreeable to my own wishes, we meandered out into the Fair grounds agin. There wuz a number of things that we hadn't seen yet, and so SOMETIMES HE WOULD HEADACHE 520 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. there would have been if we had stayed there a hull year. But that day we thought we would tackle the Battle Ship, so we went straight to it the nearest way. Wall, as I looked off and got a plain view of the Illinois, it was headed towards me jest right, and I thought it wuz shaped some like my biggest flat- iron, or sad-iron, as some call 'em. And I don't know why, I am sure, unless it is because wimmen are middlin' sad when they git a big ironin' in the clothes-basket, and only one pair of hands to do it, and mebby green wood, or like as not have to pick up their wood, only jest them arms to do it all, them and their sad-irons. Wall, as I say, it wuz headed jest right, so it did look shaped for all the world like that old flat-iron that fell on to me from Mother Allen. Of course it wuz bigger, fur bigger, and had a hull string of flags hitched from each end on't to the middle. Wall, it wuz a high, good-lookin' banner a-risin' out and perched on top of a curius-lookin' smoke-stack. And for all the world, if that line of flags didn't look some like a line of calico clothes a-hangin' out to dry, hitched up in the middle to the top of the cherry-tree, and then dwindlin' down each end to the corner of the house, and the horse barn. Come to pry into things, and look about and find out, that wuzn't a real ship a-sailin' round. 522 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. But I wouldn't have that Battle-Ship git wind on't that I compared it to clothes-lines, and Hat- irons, not for a dollar bill ; for battle-ships are nat- erally ferocious, and git mad easy. There wuz sights of good-lookin' iiags lusted up at one end on't, besides the clothes-line full, and lots of men a-standin' round on't. They didn't seem to act a mite afraid, and I don't spoze I ort to be. But lo and behold ! come to pry into things, and look about and find out, as the poet scz, that wuzn't a real ship a-sailin' round, as it looked like, but it wuz built up on what they call pilin' — jest as if Jo- siah should stick sticks up on the edge of the creek, and build a hen-house on 'em, or anything. It is a exact full-sized model, three hundred and forty-eight feet long, of one of the new coast-line battle-ships now a-bein' built for the safety and pro- tection of our country, at a cost of about three mill- ion dollars each. The imitation ship is built on the lake front at the northeastern point of Jackson Park. It is all surrounded with water, and has all the appearance of bein' moored to the wharf. It has all the fittin's that belong to the actual ship, and all the appliances for w T orkin' it. Officers, seamen, marines, mechanics, are sent SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 523 there by the navy department, and the discipline and way of life on a naval vessel is fully shown. 1 wuz glad to see that it had a woman for a fig- ger-head. I guess that the nation thought, after seein' how Miss Palmer went ahead and overcome the diffi- culties in her path, and kep her beautiful face se- rene, and above the swashin' waves of opposition all the time — they thought that they wuzn't afraid to let a woman be riz up on their ship, a-lookin' fur out over the waters, and a-takin' the lead. It looked quite well. There wuz lots of lace- work and ornaments about her, but she carried her- self first rate. Wall, the ship as a hull is dretful interestin' to warriors and such, and mariners. As for me, I thought more of statutes, and pic- tures, and posies, and Josiah didn't take to it so much as he did to steers, and horse-rakes, and so forth. But good land ! in such a time as this, when there is everything on the face of the earth, and under it, and above the earth to see, everybody has a perfect right to suit themselves in sights, and side shows. Wall, w r e stayed there for some time a-lookin' round, and a-meditatin' on how useful this ship and others like it would be in case another war should break out, and how them ships and what is contain- 524 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. ed in 'em would be the means of savin' America and Jonesville. And I had quite a number of emotions, and I guess Josiah did too. And then we kinder sauntered along on that broad, smooth path by the side of Lake Michigan, and kinder looked off onto her with a affectionate look, and neighbored some with her. Her waters looked dretful peaceful and calm, after seein' everybody in the hull world, and hearin' every voice that ever wuz hearn, a-talkin' in everv language, and seein' everv- strange costume that wuz ever worn, and etc., etc., etc. And so we sauntered along till we got to the Casino, and Music Hall a-risin' up at the eastern end of the grand basin. We had laid out to come here before, and should, most probable, if the hull of music had been shet up inside of that tall, impressive-lookin' buildin' ; but truly music had cheered our souls frequent on our daily pilgrimages, so we had neglected to pay attention to the Music Hall and Casino till now. Josiah wuz anxious to attend to it. And I myself felt that Duty drawed me, bein' quite a case for music, And havin' led the choir for years before my SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 525 marriage to josiah Allen, and havin' married a man that sez he can sing. But if the noise he makes is singin', then I would be willin' to say that I never had riz the eight notes, or fell 'em neither. But he sez that he loves music ; and he had talked quite a good deal to me about the Music Hall and Casino. That Casino didn't sound quite right ; it sounded sunthin' like " Seven-Up" and " Pedro," and I told him so. But he said that " it wuz all right ;" he said " that it wuz took from the Hebrew." But I believe he said that to blind my eyes. Wall, when we hove in sight of it we see the high towers that riz up above it some distance off, with flags a-comin' kinder out of it on both sides, some like a stupendious pump, with handles on both sides and red table-cloths a-hangin' over 'em, but immense — immense in height. Wall, I spozed it would look as well agin there as the Jonesville Singin' School, and be fur big- ger. But good land! and good land! Why, jest the entrance to them buildin's is enough to strike the most careless beholder with or. Such pillows, and such arches, and such ornaments, 526 SAMAN'TIIA AT tllK WORLD'S FAIR. I never expected to see till 1 got through with this planet anyway. But there wuz one piece of sculpture there that when I see it I instinctively stopped stun still and gazed up at it with mingled feelin's of pride and sorrow. It wuz a chariot in which stood the Discoverer, a-lookin' off, fur-sighted, and determined, and prophetic, and everything else that could be ex- pected of that noble Prophet and Martyr, Columbus. The chariot wuz drawn by four high-headed and likely horses as I ever see. But alas ! for my own sect. Two noble and beautiful wimmen stood a-walkin' afoot, barefoot too — stood right there between the horses, each one a-holdin' the bits of two of them high-headed beasts, and their huffs ready to kick at 'em. They didn't look afraid a mite, so I don't know as I need to worry about 'em. But I couldn't help thinkin' — that is the way that it has always been, men a-ridin' the chariots of Power, drawed bv satisfied ambition, and enterprise, and social and legal powers, and the wimmen a-walkin' along afoot by the side of the chariot, and a-leadin' the horses. Bringin' men into the world, nurturin' 'em, com- fortin' 'em through life, and weepin' over their tomb. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 527 Yes, she has led the horse, but walked afoot, and the stuns have been sharp and cold under her bare feet, and the dust from the chariot has riz up and blinded her sad eves time and agin, so's that she couldn't look off any distance. The horses have been hard bitted ; their high huffs and heads drawed dretful hard at the bit held in her weak grasp, and she has been kicked a good deal by their sharp huffs. On the two off horses there wuz two Aggers a-holdin' up high gorgeous banners ; of course they wuz men, and of course the}' wuz ridin'. Three men a-ridin' and two wimmen a-walkin' afoot ; it didn't seem right. Not that I begretched Columbus — that noble creeter — the ease he had ; if I'd had my way I'd had a good spring seat fixed onto that chariot, so that he could rid a-settin' down ; or, at any rate, I'd laid a board acrost it, with a buffalo robe on't. I wouldn't had him a-standin' up. It hain't because I've got anything aginst Co- lumbus — no indeed ; but I am such a well-wisher of my own sect that I hate to see 'em in such a try in' place. But I wuz glad of one thing, and mebby that wuz one thing that made them poor wimmen look so fearless and sort of riz up. 528 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. Theywuz in the East — they wuz in the past ; the sun wuz a-movin' along, they eould fuller its rays along into the golden day. Why, right before 'em, on the other side of the basin, with only a little water between 'em that would soon be crossed, they could see a woman a-towerin' up a hundred feet, in plain view of all the countries of the as- sembled world, a-holdin' in her out- stretched hand the emblems of Power and Liberty. But to resoom : Josiah and I had a first-rate time there at that Music Hall, and enjoyed ourselves first rate a-hearin' that most melodious music, though pretty loud, and a-seein' the Musicianers all dressed up in the gayest colors, as if they wuz offi- cers. And truly they wuz. They marshalled the rank and file of that most powerful army on earth, the grand onseen forces of melody, that vanquishes the civilized and savage alike, and charms the very beast and reptile. The sweet power that moves the world, and the only earth delight that we know will greet us in the land of the Immortals. [STF.NIN TO THE LOW SOBBIN' MUSIC. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 529 Truly the hour we spent there wuz long, long to be remembered. And after we reluctantly left the Hall of Melody, the music still swelled out and come to our ears in hauntin' echoes. Josiah had wandered away to a little distance to see sunthin' or rather that had attracted his atten- tion, and I stood still, lost in thought, and almost by the side of myself, a-listenin' to the low, sobbin' music of the band. I wuz almost by the side of myself with my rapt emotions when I hearn a voice that recalled me to myself — " Drusilla, I'm clean beat out." " Are you, Deacon Sypher ? Wall, it is because you are so smart, and see so much." Truly, thinkses I, it don't take much smartness to see much in this place. But instinctively with that idee come the thought — nobody but Drusilla Sypher could or would make that admirin' remark. And I turned and advanced onto 'em with a calm mean. But I see in that first look that they looked haggard and wan, as wan agin as I ever see 'em look, and fur, fur haggarder. They looked all broke up, and their clothes looked all rumpled up 53Q SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. and seedy, some as if they had slept in 'em for some weeks. But I hain't one to desert old friends under any circumstances, so I advanced onto 'em, and sez, with a mean that looked welcomin' and glad — ■ "Why, Drusilla and Deacon Sypher," sez I, " how glad I am to see you ! When did you come ? Have you been here long ?" And they said " they had been in Chicago some five weeks." " Is that so ?" sez I. " And how have you enjoyed the Fair ? I spoze you have seen a good deal, if you have been here so long." Sez Drusilly, " This is the first time we have been on to the Fair ground." " Why'ee !" sez I, " what wuz the matter ?" She turned round, and see that Deacon Sypher had stopped some distance away to speak to my pardner and to look at sunthin' or ruther, and she told me all about it. She said that the Deacon had thought that it would be cheaper to live in a tent, and cook over a alcohol lamp ; so they had hired a cheap tent, and went to livin' in it. She IK A AWFUL COLP. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 531 But a hard wind and rain-storm come up the very first night, and blew the hull tent away ; so they had to live under a umbrell the first night in a hard rain. Wall, she took a awful cold, and by the time they got the tent fastened down agin she wuz down with a sore throat and wuz feverish, and couldn't be left alone a mi nit, so the doctor said. So the Deacon had to stay with her night and day, and change poultices, and give medicine, etc., and he had to hire porridges made for her, and things. There wouldn't any of the campers round 'em do anything for 'em ; for he had, accordin' to his own wishes, got right into a perfect nest of Prohibition- ists. The Deacon wuz perfectly devoted to the temperance cause himself — wouldn't drink a drop to save his life — and dretful bitter and onforgivin' to them that drinked. But it happened that bottle of alcohol for their lamp got broke right onto the Deacon's clothes. His vest, and pantaloons, and coat wuz jest soaked with it ; so's when he went after help they called him an old soaker, and said if he'd been sober the tent wouldn't have broke loose. They scorfed at him fearful, and wouldn't do a thing to help him. 532 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. He told 'em he wuz a striet tetoteler, and hadn't drinked a drop for over forty years. And they said, " Git out, you wretched old sot ! You smell like a saloon !" And another said, " Don't tell any of your lies to me, when jest one whiff of your breath is enough to make a man reel." It cut the Deacon up dretful to be accused of drinkin' and lyin'. But they wouldn't one of 'em help a mite, and it kep him boned right down a-waitin' on her. And they, jest as she got a little better, there come on a drizzlin' rain, and it soaked right down through the tent, and run in under it, so they wuz a-drippin', both on 'em. But the Deacon took it worse than she did, for he elevated her onto their trunks, made a bed up on top of 'em for her as well as he could. But he got soaked through and through, and it brung on rumatiz, and he couldn't move for over nine days. And the doctors said that his case wuz critical. Of course she couldn't leave him, and havin' to cook over a alcohol lamp, it kep her to home every minit, even if he could be left. So she said they got discouraged, and their bills run up so high for doctors, and medicines, and plas- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 533 ters, etc., that they calculated to break up tent and go and board for a few days, git a look at the Fair, and then go home. And sez she, " I spoze you have been here everv day." " Yes," sez I ; " we would have a nice warm breakfast and supper at our boardin' place, and a good comfortable bed to sleep in, and we would buy our dinner here on the Fair ground, and we have kep real well." She looked enviously at me out of her pale and haggard face. Sez she, " We have both ruined our stomachs a-livin' on crackers and cheese. I shall never see a well day agin ! And we both have got rumatiz for life, a-layin' round out-doors. It is dangerous at our time of life," sez she. " What made you do it, Drusilla ?" sez I. " Wall," she said, " the Deacon wanted to ; he thought he couldn't afford to board in a house ; and vou know," sez Drusilla, "that the Deacon is a man of most splendid judgment." " Not in this case," sez I. And then, at my request, she told me what they had paid out for doctors and medicines, and it come to five dollars and 63 cents more than Josiah and I had paid for our board, and gate fees, and 534 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. everything. And that didn't count in the cost of their two dyspeptic hoards, or their agony in sick- ness and sufferin', or their total loss of happiness and instruction at the Fair. When we reckoned this up Drusilla come the nighest to disapprovin' of the Deacon's management that I ever knew her to. She sez, and it wuz strong language for Drusilla Sypher to use — Sez she, " If it had been any other man but Dea- con Sypher that had done this, I should been mad as a hen. But the Deacon is, as you well know, Josiah Allen's Wife, a wonderful man." "Yes," sez I, "Drusilla, 1 know it, and have known it for some time." She looked real contented, and then. I sez — "Josiah Allen had got his mind all made up to tent out durin' the Fair. But I broke it up," sez I— " I broke it up in time !" At this very minit Josiah and Deacon Sypher come back to us, the Deacon a-limpin', and a-look- in' ten years older than when we last seen him in Jonesville. And my pardner pert, and upright, and fat, under my management. Wall, we four stayed together the rest of the day, a-lookin' at one thing and another. And when we got home that night, lo and behold ! Isabelle had come jest before we did. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 535 And supper wuz all ready — or dinner, as they all called it ; hut I don't know as it makes much differ- ence when you are hungry. The vittles taste jest about the same — awful good, anyway. We wuz pretty late, so there wuzn't anybody to the table but jest Isabelle and Josiah and me. And we three had a dretful good visit with each other. She is jest as sweet as a rosey in June. I make no matches, nor break none. But I couldn't help tellin' Josiah Allen in confidence from time to time that it did seem to me that Isabelle and Mr. Freeman wuz cut out for each other. Every time I see Isabelle — and Krit and Thomas J. had often made some app'intment where our family party could all meet — and every time I see her, I liked her better and better. And Maggie, who of course had seen more of her than I had, bein' in the same house with her, she told me in confidence, and in the Mexican Exhibit, that " Isabelle was an angel." No, I make no matches, nor break none. But 1 happened to speak soil of axidently as it were to Mr. Freeman one day, and told him my niece wuz a-comin' to spend a week with me, jest as quick as Miss Planks step-sister's daughter's cousin got away. (Miss Plank, like the rest of Chicago freeholders, had relations back to the 3d and 4th $36 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. generation come onto 'em like flocks of ravenin' grasshoppers or locusses, durin' the Fair.) And I sez — though I am the one that hadn't ort to say it, mebby — " She is one of the sweetest girls on earth." Sez I, " I call her a girl, though 1 spoze I ort to call her a woman, for she is one in years. But he- cause she hain't never been married," sez I presently, "hain't, no reason that she couldn't be, for she has had offers, and offers, and might be married any day now. "But," sez 1, "she kep single from duty once, and now it seems to be from choice." He sort of smiled with his eyes. lie wuz used to such talk, I spoze. Good land ! the wimmen all made perfeet fools of themselves about him. But he sez in his pleasant way, " I shall be very glad to meet your nieee. I shall be sure to like her, if she is any like her aunt." Pretty admirin' talk, that wuz. But good land ! Josiah sot right there, and he wuzn't jealous a mite. Mr. Freeman wuz young enough to be my boy, anyway. And then Josiah knew what I had in my mind. But I told my pardner that night, sez I — " I hain't mentioned Mr. Freeman's name to Isa- belle, and hain't a-goin' to ; for one reason, she SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 537 wouldn't come nigh the house if she knew what I wuz a-thinkin' on, and for another reason, I am a-goin' to try to stop a-thinkin' on't. He took it so beautiful, and he has match-makers a-besettin' him so much, 1 dare presoom to say he mistrusted what I wuz up to in my own mind. And, like as not, Isabelle wouldn't look at him, or any other man, anyway. " But I wouldn't have thought on't in the first place," sez I, " if Isabelle hadn't been such a born angel, and seemed cut out a purpose for him by Providence. But I shall try to stop a-thinkin' on't." And sez Josiah, " You had better have done that in the first place." Wall, I wuz as good as my word. I didn't say another word pro nor con. But I kep up a-thinkin' inside of me, bein' but mortal, and bavin' two eyes in my head. Wall, as I say, finally Gertrude Plank had left her room vacant, and our niece had come to us with a cheerful face ami one small trunk full of necces- saries for her week's visit. I call her our niece, though she wuzn't quite that relationship to us. But it is quite hard sometimes to git the relationship headed right, and marshal 'em out into company before you — specially when they are fifth or sixth cousins. 53-S SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. And I thought, bein' our ages wuz such, and our affections wuz so strong, back and forth, that it would be jest as well to jest use that plain term aunt and uncle and niece — it looked better, anyway, as our ages stood. And I didn't think it wuz any- thing wrong, for good land ! we are called uncle and aunt, my Josiah and me are, by lots of folks that hain't no sort of kin to us, and Isabelle wuz related to us anyway by kin and by soul ties. Wall, to resoom : the evenin' after Isabelle got there it wuz burnin' warm in my room. And her room wuz still worse, way up on top of the house; but it wuz the best room that we could git for her, and she wuz contented with it for the sake of bein' with her Uncle josiah and me. After we got up from the supper-table — Mr. Freeman wuz away that day, but 1 felt free to take her into that big, cool room, and so we went into that beautiful place. And then, all of a sudden, as Isabelle stood there in front of that pretty girl down by the medder brook amongst the deep grasses — All of a sudden it come to me who the girl looked like : it wuz Isabelle. As she stood in front of it, in her long white dress, with her white hands clasped loose in front of her, and her auburn hair pushed back careless SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. -,39 from her beautiful face, I see the girl in the picture, or as she would be if she had grown refined and beautiful by sorrow and a sweet patience and rea- sonableness, which is the twin of Patience, both on 'em the children of Pain. As I stood there a-lookin' at her in admiration and surprise, I heard a sound behind me. It wuzn't a cry nor a sithe, but it wuz sunthin' different from both, more eager like, and deadly earnest, and dumbfoundered. And then it wuz Mr. Freeman's voice I knew that said — - " My God ! am I a-dreamin' ?" And then Isabelle turned, and her face filled with a rapturous surprise and joy, and everything. And sez she — - " Tom !" And he jest rushed forward, and in a secent had her in his arms. And I bust out a-cryin\ and turned my back to 'em, and went out. But it wuzn't more than a few minutes before they rapped at my door, and their faces looked like the faces of two angels who have left the sorrows of earth and got into Heaven at last. And I cried agin, and Isabelle cried as I held her in my arms silently, and kissed her a dozen times, and I presoom more. 540 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. And Mr. Freeman kissed me on my left cheek, and wrung my hand that hard that that right hand ached hard more'n a hour and a half. And I bathed it in arneky and water long enough after Isabelle had gone to her room, and Mr. Freeman to hisen. For till this mortal has put on immortality folks have to eat and sleep, and if their hands are wrung half off, either through happiness or anger, flesh, while it is corruptible, will ache, and bones will cry out if most crushed down. But arneky relieved the pain, and the light of the mornin' showed the faces of these reunited lovers, full of such a radiant bliss that it: did one's soul good even to look at 'em. It seems that Isabelle had told him in that long- ago time when they parted that she wouldn't keep up a correspondence with him. She felt that she had ort to leave him free. And he wuz poor, and he would not fetter her with a memory she might perhaps better forgit. Poor things ! lovin' and half broken-hearted, and both hampered with duties, and both good as gold. So they parted, she to take care of her feeble parents, and he to take care of his invalid mother and the two little ones. But lo and behold ! after they had lived in that Western citv for a few vears, Tom a-workin' hard as SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 541 he could to keep the wolf from the door, and from devourin' the three helpless ones, his brother returned from California as rich as a Jew, and he took his two little girls back with him and put 'em in school, and give Tom the money to start in business, and he wuz fortunate beyend any tellin'— got independent rich ; then his ma wuz took sick and died, he a-waitin' on her devoted to the very last. Then, heart-hungry and lonesome, he broke through the vow he had made, and writ to Isabelle ; but Isabelle had gone from the old place — she didn't git the letters. Then he writ agin, for his love wuz strong and his pride weak — weak as a cat. True Love will always have that effect on pride and resolve, etc. But no answer came back to his longin' and waitin' heart. And then, I spoze, Pride kinder riz up agin, and he said to himself that he wouldn't worry her and weary her with letters that she didn't think enough of to answer. And he had about made up his mind that all he should ever see of Isabelle would be the shadder of her beauty in the girl by the old medder bars, standin' in the fresh grasses, by the laughin' brook, all lookin' so like the dear old farm when he won her love so long ago. 542 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. That dead, mute, irresponsive picture wuz more to him than any livin', breathin' woman could ever be. wSo he camped down before it, as you may say, for life — that is, he thought so ; but Providence wuz a-watchin' over him, and his thoughtful, unselfish kindness to a stranger, or strangers, wuz to be rewarded with the prize of love and bliss. Wall, the World's Fair wuz, I spoze, looked on by many a pair of glad eyes. Hearts that throbbed high with happiness beat on through them majes- tic rooms. But happier hearts and gladder eyes never glowed and rejoiced in 'em than Isabelle's and her handsome lover's. And wuzn't Krit glad ? Wuzn't he glad of soul to see Isabelle's happiness ? Yes, indeed ! And Maggie and Thomas Jefferson. Why, of course we wouldn't sing out loud in public, not for anything. We knew it wouldn't do to go along the streets or in the halls and corridors of the World's Fair, a-singin' as loud as we could— "Joy to the World !" Or, " What amazin' bliss is this !" or anything else of that kind — no, we wuz too well-bread to attempt it ; but inside of us we jest sung for joy, the hull set and caboodle of us. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 543 All but Miss Plank, and a few old maids and widders, and such, who mebby had had hopes. Miss Plank looked and acted as flat and crushed down as one of her favorite cakes, or as if she wuz a-layin' under her own sirname. She said she hated to lose the profit of such a boarder, and mebby that wuz it — I don't say it wuzn't. But this I know, wimmen will keep up hopes, moles or no moles, and age has no power to keep out expectations. But I make no insinuations, nor will take none. She said that it wuz money she hated to lose, and mebby it wuz. But on that question T riz up her hopes agin, for Mr. Freeman wuz bound on bein' married imegatly and to once, and he said that they would remain right there for the remainder of the year at least. Isabelle hung off, and wanted to go back to Jonesville and be married to our house, as I warmly urged 'em to. But Mr. Freeman, lookin' decided and firm as anything you ever see, he sez to Isabelle — ■ " Do you suppose I am ever goin' to lose sight of you agin ? No indeed !" And I sez, "Wall, come right home with us to Jonesville, and keep your eyes on her." 544 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. I wuz as happy as a king, and he knew it. And he thinks a sight of me, for it wuz through me, he sez, that their meetin' wuz brought about. He didn't say he wouldn't do that, so I wuz greatly in hopes that that would be the way it would turn out. I thought to myself, "Oh, how I would love to have 'em married in my parlor, right back of the hangin' lamp !" The semi-detatched widder said she got a letter about that time bringin' her bad news, trials, and trib- ulations, so it wuzn't to be wondered that she looked sad and worried. Mebby she did git such a let- ter. But anyway she and Miss Plank made up with each other. They become clost friends. Miss Plank told me, " She loved her like a sister." And the semi-detatched widder told me, " If she ever see a woman that she thought more on than she did her own mother, it wuz Miss Plank." Wall, I wuz glad enough to see 'em reconciled, for they had been at such sword's pints, as you may say, that it made it dretful disagreeable to the other boarders. Miss Piddock acted, and I believe wuz tickled, to see Mr. Freeman's happiness; for he didn't make any secret of it, and couldn't, if he wanted to. For SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 545 radiant eyes and blissful smiles would have told the story of his joy, if his lips hadn't. Miss Piddock said that " if Mr. Piddock had been alive that he could say truly that he could sympathize with him in every respect, for that dear departed man had known, if anybody had, true con- nubial bliss." And then she brang up such piles of reminiscences of that man, that I felt as if I must sink under 'em. But 1 didn't ; I managed to keep my head above 'em, and keep on a-breathin' as calm and stiddy as T could. Even Nony acted a trifle less bitter and austeer when he heard the news, and made the remark, "That he hoped that he would be happy." But there wuz a dark and shudderin' uncertainty and onbelief in his cold eyes as he said that "Hope" that wuz dretful deprestin' to me — not to Mr. Free- man ; no, that blessed creeter wuz too happy to be affected by such glacial congratulations as Nony Piddock's. CHAPTER XVIII. Of course, feelin' as I did about my Uncle Samuel, it wouldn't have done to not gone to the Government Buildin', where he makes his head- quarters, so to say. Like the other palaces, this is so vast that it seemed as we stepped up to it some like wadin' out into Lake Michigan to examine her. We couldn't do it — we couldn't do justice to Michigan with one pair of feet and eyes — no, in- deed. Wall, no more we couldn't do justice to these buildin's unless we laid out to live as long as Me- thusleah did, and hang round here for a hundred years or so. We had to go by a lot of officers all dressed up in uniforms. But we vvuzn't afraid — we knew we hadn't done anything to make us afraid. Josiah wuz considerable interested in the enor- mous display of rifles, and all the machinery for makin' 'em, and showin' how and where the de- structive instruments used in war are made. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 547 And then there wuz dummy cavalry horses, and men, and ponies, and cattle, showin' the early means for transportation of the mails, compared with the modern way of carryin' it on lightnin' coaches. But it wuz a treat indeed to me to see the orig- inal papers writ by our noble forefathers. To be sure, they wuz considerable faded out, so that I couldn't read 'em much of any ; but it wuz a treat indeed to jest see the paper on which the hands of them good old creeters had rested while they shaped the Destinies of the New World. They held the pen, but the Almighty held the hands, and guided them over the paper. When I see with my own two eyes, and my Josiah's eyes, which makes four eyes of my own (for are we two not one? Yes, indeed, we are a good deal of the time) — Wall, when I see witli these four eyes the very paper that Washington, the Immortal Founder of I lis Country, had rested his own hand on when I see the very handwritin' of his right hand and tin- written thoughts of hisen, which made it seem some like lookin' into the inside of that revered and noble head, my feelin's riz up so that they wuz almost beyend my control, and I had to lean back hard on the pillow of megumness that I always carry with me to stiddy myself with. 5 4 8 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. I had to lean hard, or I should have been perfectly wobblin' and broke up. And then to see Jefferson's writin', and Hamil- ton's, and Benjamin Franklin's — he who also dis- covered a New World, the mystic World that we draw on with such a stiddy and increasin' demand for supplies of light, and heat, and motion, and e v e r y - things — When I see the very writin' of that hand that had drawed down the lightnin', and had hitched it to the car of commerce and progress — Oh, what feelin's I felt, and how many of 'em — it I see the Proclamation of the President. wuz a sight. And then I see the Proclamation of the Presi- dent ; and though I always made a practice of skippin' 'em when I see 'em in the newspaper, some- how they looked different to me here. And then there wuz agreements with Foreign Powers, and some of them Powers' own handwritin' photographed ; and lots of treaties made by Uncle Sam — some of 'em, especially them with the Injuns, I guess the least said about the soonest SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 549 mended, but the biggest heft on 'em I guess he has kept — Treaties of peace and alliance, pardon of Loui- siana and Florida, Alaska, etc., all in Uncle Sam's own handwritin'. And then there wuz the arms of the United States — and hain't it a sight how fur them arms reach out north and south, east and west — protectin' and fosterin arms a good deal of the time they are, and then how strong they can hit when they feel like it! And then there wuz the big seal of the United States. I had read a description of it to Josiah that mornin', and had explained it all out to him— all about the Argant, and Jules, and the breast of the American Eagle displayed proper. I sez, " That means that it is proper for a bird to display its breast in public places; and," sez I, "though it don't speak right out, it probable means to gin a strong hint to fashionable wimmen. " And then," says I, " it holds in its dexter talons a olive branch. That means that it is so dextrous in wavin' that branch round and gittin' holt of what it wants. " And holdin' in its sinister talons a bunch of arrows." Sez T, " That means that in war it is so 550 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. awful sinister, and lets them arrows fly onto its enemies where they are needed most." And then the Eagle holds in its beak a strip of paper with " E. Pluribus Unura" on it, which means "One formed out of many." And how many countries will wheel into the procession and become part of the great one as the centuries go on ? 1 don't believe Uncle Sam has the least idee; I know 1 hain't, nor Josiah. Eor on the back part is a pyramiad unfinished ; no knowin' how many bricks will yet be laid on top of that pyramiad, or how high it will shoot up into the heavens. And then there is a big eye surrounded with a Glory. The eye of the United States most likely, and I spozed mebby it meant big I and little You. I didn't know exactly what it did mean till I catched sight of the words above, meanin' "The eye of Providence is favorable to our undertakin's." And then I felt better, and hoped it wuz so. Down under the pyramiad is words meanin' "A New Order of Centuries." That riz me up still more, for I knew it wuz true. Yes ; when Columbus pinted the prow of that caraval of hisen towards the New World, the water broke on each ^ide of it, a-washin' back tow- SAM A NTH A AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 55 I ards the Old World the decayin' ereeds and orders of the Old World, and the ripples that danced ahead on't, clear acrost the Atlantic, wuz a-carryin' new laws, new governments ; and hoverin' over the prow as it swept on in the darkness and the dawn, onseen to any eve, not even the prophetic eye of the discoverer, hovered the great angels Liberty, Equal Rights, and Human Brotherhood. For them angels could see further than we can ; they could see clear ahead when the iron chains should fall from black wrists, and as mighty chains, though wrought with gold, mebby, should fall from the delicate white wrists of mother, and wife, and sister. It could see that this indeed wuz "A New Order of Centuries." And then we see — kep jest as careful as though it wuz pure gold and diamonds — the petition of the Colonies to the King of England. And I'll bet England has been sorry enuff to think it didn't hear to 'em, and act a little more lenient to 'em. And then there wuz the old Constitution of the United States, in the very handwritin' of its immor- tal framer. And then there wuz the Declaration of Indepen- dence. Good, likely old document as ever wuz made. I 552 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. know I hain't felt towards it as I'd ort to time and agin, when I've hearn it read Fourth of Julys by a long-winded orator, in muggy and sultry dog-days in Jonesville. But though, as I ort to own up, I've turned my haek onto it at sech times, I've allers respected it deeply, and it wuz indeed a treat to see it now — The very paper, writ in the darkness of oncer- tainty, and hopelessness, and despair of our fore- fathers, and which them four old fathers wuz willin' to seal with their blood. Oh, if that piece of yeller, faded old paper could jest speak out and tell what emotions wuz a-rackin' the hearts, and what wild dreams and despairs wuz a-hantin' the brains of the ones that bent over it in that dark day, 1776 — Why, the World's Fair would be thrilled to its inmost depths; Chicago would tremble from its ground floor up to its 20th and 30th story, and Josiah and I would be perfectly browbeat and stunted. But it wuzn't to be ; only the old yeller paper re- mained writ over with them immortal words. Their wild emotions, their dreams, their despairs, and their raptures have passed away, bloomin' out agin in the nation's glory and grandeur. And then we see amongst the treaties with for- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 553 eign powers friendship tokens from semi-barbarous tribes and nations — Poor little gifts that didn't always buy friendship and justice, and I'd told Uncle Sam so right to his old face if I'd've met him there as I wuz a-lookin' at 'em. I'd a done it if he had turned me right out of the Government Buildin' the next mi nit. And then there wuz the first cannon ever brought to America, and the first church-bell ever rung in America, and picters of every place that Columbus ever had anything to do with, and a hull set of photographs of hisen. Good creeter ! it is a shame and a disgrace that there is so many on 'em, and all lookin' so different — as different as Josiah and Queen Elizabeth. And then there wuz everything relatin' to con- quest — conquest of Mexico and etc., and everything about the food and occupations of men — all sorts of food, savage and civilized, and all sorts of occu- pations, from makin' molasses to gatherin' tea. And there wuz the most perfect collection of coins and medals ever made — 7500 coins and 2300 medals. There wuz some kinder stern-lookin' guards a-watchin' over these, but they had no need to be afraid ; I wouldn't have meddled with one of 'em no more'n I'd've torn out the Book of fob out of the family Bible 554 SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR There wuz everything under the sun that could be seen in South America, from a mule to a orchid. And in the centre of the buildin' wuz a section of the great Sequois tree from California. The tree is twenty-five feet in diameter, and has been hollowed out, and a stairway built up inside of it. Stairs inside of a tree ! Good land ! But what is the use, i have only waded out a few steps. The deep lake lays before us. I hain't gin much idee of all there is to see in that buildin', and 1 hain't in any on 'em. You have got to swim out for yourself, and then you may have some idee of the vastness on't. But you can't describe 'em, 1 don't believe — nobody can't. In front of that buildin' we see one of the two largest guns ever made in the world. It wuz made in Essen, German v. It weighs two hundred and seventy thou- sand pounds, and is forty- seven feet long. It will hit anything sixteen miles off, and with perfect accuracy and effect at a dis- tance of twelve miles. Stern-uk ikin' guards a-watuhin' over the coins. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 555 Good land ! further than from Zoar to Shack- dlle. It costs one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars to discharge it once. As Josiah looked at it, sez he — "Oh, how I do wish I had sech a gun ! How I could rake off the crows with it in plantin' time ! Why," sez he, " by shootin' it off once or twice I could clear the hull country of 'em from Jonesville to Loontown." " Yes," sez I; "and have you got a thousand dollars to pay for every batch of crows you kill, besides damages — heavy damages — for killin' human bein's, and horses, and cows, and sech ?" And he gin in that it wouldn't be feasible to own one. And I sez, " I wouldn't have one on the premises if Mr. Krupp should give me one." So we wended onwards. Wall, about the most interestin' and surprism' hours I enjoyed at Columbuses doin's wuz to the stately house set apart for that great wizard of the 1 9th century — Electricity. As wuz befittin', most the first thing that our eyes fell on wuz a big, noble statute of Benjamin Franklin. lie stands with his kite in his hand, a-lookin' up with a rapt look as if waitin' for in- structions from on higdi. 556 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. He seemed to be guardin' the entrance to this temple, and he looked as if he wuz glad to be there, and I truly wuz glad to have him there. For he ort to be put side by side with Christo- pher Columbus. Both sailed out on the onknovvn, both discovered a new world. Columbuses world we have got the lay on now considerable, and we have mapped it out and counted the inhabitants. But who — who shall map out this vast realm that Benjamin F. discovered ? We stand jest by the sea-shore. We have jest landed from our boats. The onbroken forest lays before us, and beyend is deep valleys, and high, sun-kissed mountains, and rushin' rivers. A few trees have been felled by Morse, Edison, Field and others, so that we can git glimpses into the forest depths, but not enough to even give us a glimpse of the mountains or the seas. The realm as a whole is onexplored ; nobody knows or can dream of the grandeur and glory that awaits the advance guard that shall march in and take the country. This beautiful house built in its honor is 690 feet long and 345 feet wide. The main entrance, which is in the south side, has a magnificently decorated open vestibule cov- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 557 ered by a half dome, capable of the most brilliant illumination. Indeed, you can judge whether this buildin' has advantages for bein' lit up, when I tell you that it has 20,000 incandescent and 3000 ark lights. I hearn a bystander a-tellin' this, and sez Josiah, " I can't imagine what a ark light is — Noah couldn't had a light so bright as that is. But," he sez, " mebby the light shines out as big as the ark did over the big water." And I spoze mebby that is it. Why, they say the big light on top of the buildin' — the biggest in the world — why, they do say that that throws such a big light way off — way off over Lake Michigan, that the very white fishes think it is mornin', and git up and go to doin' up their mornin's work. There wuz everything in the buildin' that has been hearn on up to the present time in connection with electricity -everything that we know about, that that Magician uses to show off his magic powers, from a search-light of 60,000 candle power down to a engine and dynamo combined, that can be packed in a box no bigger than a pea. Josiah looked at the immense display with a wise eve, and pretended to understand all about it, and he even went to explainin' it to me. 558 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But I sez, " You needn't tire yourself, Josiah Allen ; 1 should know jest as much after you got through as I do now. "And," sez I, "you can explain to me jest as well how the hoe and the planter cause the seed to spring up in the loosened ground. You put the seed in the ground, Josiah Allen, and the hoe loosens the soil round it. You may assist the plant some, but there is a secret back of it all, Josiah Allen, that you can't explain to me. "No, nor Edison couldn't, nor Benjamin Frank- lin himself couldn't with his kite." Sez Josiah, " I could explain it all out to you if you would listen — all about my winter rye, and all about electricity." But agin I sez considerately, " Don't tire yourself, Josiah Allen ; it is a pretty hot day, and you hain't over and above well to-day." He didn't like it at all ; he wanted to talk about electric currents to me, and magnets, and dynamos, but I wouldn't listen to it. I felt that w T e wuz in the palace of the Great Enchanter, the King of Wonders of the 19th century, and T knew that orr and silence wuz belittin' mantillys to wrop ourselves in ns we entered his court, and stood in his imperial presence. And I told Jo- siah so. SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 559 And he sez, " You won't catch me with a man- tilly on." He is dretful fraid to wear wimmen's clothes. I can't git a apron or a sun-bunnet on him in churnin' time or berryin' in dog-days— he is sot. But I sez, " Josiah, I spoke in metafor." And he sez, " I would ruther you would use pan- taloons and vests, if you are a-goin' to allegore about me." But to resoom. France, England, Germany, all 'lave wonderful exhibits, and as for our own country, there wuz no end seemin'ly to the marvellous sight. Why, to give you a idee of the size and splendor of 'cm, one electrical company alone spent 350,000 dollars on its exhibit. Among the German exhibits wuz a wonderful search-light — jest as searchin' as any light ever could be — it wuz sunthin' like the day of judgment in lightin' up and showin' forth. One of the strange things long to be remembered wuz to set down alone beside of a big horn in Chicago and hear a melodious orkestrv in New York, hundreds and hundreds of miles away, a-dis- coursin' the sweetest melody. Wall, what took up Josiah's mind most of any- thing wuz a house all fitted up from basement to attic with electricity. 560 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. You come home (say you come in the evenin' and bring company with you) ; you press a button at the door, the door opens ; touch another button, and the hall will be all lighted up, and so with every other room in the house. Some of these lights will be rosettes of light let into the wall, and some on 'em lamps behind white, and rose-tinted, and amber porcelain. When you go upstairs to put on another coat, you touch a button, the electric elevator takes you to your room ; and when vou open the closet door, that lights the lamp in the closet ; when you have found your coat and vest, shuttin' the door puts the light out. In the mean time, your visitors down below are entertained by a selection from operatic or sacred music or comic songs from a phonograph on the parlor table. Or if they want to hear Gladstone debate, or Chauncey Depew joke, or Ingersoll lecture, or no matter what their tastes are, they can be gratified. The phonograph don't care ; it will bring to 'em anything they call for. Then, when they have got ready for dinner, a button is touched ; the dinner comes down from the kitchen in the attic, where it vvuz all cooked by electricity, baked, roasted, or biled, whatever it is. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 561 When the vittles arc put on the table, they are kept warm by electric warmin' furnaces. They start up a rousin' fire in the open fireplace by pressin' a button, and if they git kinder warm, electric fans cool the air agin, though there hain't much chance of gittin' too warm, for electric ther- mostats regulate the atmosphere. But in the sum- mer the fans come handy. When dinner is over the dishes mount upstairs agin, and arc washed by a electric automatic dish washer, and dried by a electric dish drier. The ice for dinner is made by a miniature ammonia ice plant, which keeps the hull house cool in hot days and nights. On washin' days the woman of the house throw's the dirty clothes and a piece of soap into a tub, and electricity heats the water, rubs and cleanses the clothes, shoves 'em along and rings 'em through an electric ringer, and dries 'em in a electric dryin' oven, and I hen irons 'em by an electric ironin' machine. If the female of the house wants to sew a little, she don't have to wear out her own vital powers a-runnin' that sewin' machine — no ; electricity jest runs it for her smooth as a dollar. If she wants to sweep her floor, does she have to w r ear out her own elbows? No, indeed; electricity jest sweeps it for her clean as a pin. 562 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Oh, what a house ! what a house ! Josiah of course wuz rampant with idees of havin' our house run jest like it. He thought mebby he could run it by horse power or by wind. " But," I sez, " I guess the old mair has enough on her hands without washin' dishes and eookin'." He see it wuzn't feasible. " But," sez he, " I believe I could run it by wind. Don't you know what wind storms we have in Jones- ville ?" And I sez, "You won't catch me a-sewin' by it, a-blowin' me away one minute, and then stoppin' stun-still the next;" and sez I, " How could we be elevated by it ? blow us half way upstairs, and then go down, and drop us. We shouldn't live through it a week, even if you could git the machinery a-runnin'." "Wall," sez he, with a wise, shrewd look, "as fur as the elevator is concerned, I believe 1 eould fix that on a endless chain — keep it a-runnin' all the time, sunthin' like perpetual motion." " How eould we git on it ?" sez I coldly. " Catch on," sez he ; " it would be worth every- thing to both on us to make us spry and limber-jinted." " Oh, shaw !" sez I ; " your idees are luny — luny as can be ; it has got to go by electricity." SAMANTHA AT E WOK LA) S FAIR 563 "Wall," sez he, " I never see any sharper lightnin' than we have to Jonesville. I believe I could git the machinery all rigged up, and catch lightnin' enough to run it. I mean to try, anyway." l> Wall," sez I, " I guess that you won't want to be elevated by lightnin' more'nonce ; I guess that that would be pretty apt to end your experiments." "Oh, wall," sez he, "break it up ! I never in my hull life tried to do sunthin' remarkable and note- worthy but what you put a drag on to me." Sez I, " I have saved your life, Josiah Allen, time and agin, to say nothin' of my own." He wuz mad, but I drawed his attention off onto a ocean cable, and asked him to explain it to me how the news went ; and he wuz happy once more — happier than I wuz by fur. I wuz wretched, and had got myself into a job of weariness onspeakable and confusion, etc., and so forth. But to such immense sacrifices will a woman's love lead her. I could not brook his dallyin' with lightnin' at his age- or to have it brung in- to our house in a raw state. Josiah wuz dretful im pressed wit h ;i big post com- pletely covered with led, white, and blue "lobes, and He wuz happy once morb 564 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. all other colors, and at the top it branched out into four posts, extendin' towards the corners of the ceilin'. A spark of electricity starts at the base of the post, and steadily works its way up. It lights the red, then the white, and then the blue, and etc., and then it goes on and lights the four branches until it gits to the end, and then it lights up a big ball. And then it goes back to the beginnin' agin, and so it goes on — flash ! flash ! flash ! sparkle ! spar- kle ! sparkle! in glowin' colors. It is a sight to see it. But what impressed me beyend anything wuz what seemed a mighty onseen hand a-risin' up out of Nowhere, and a-holdin' a pencil, and a-writin' on the wall in letters of flame. And then that same onseen hand will wipe out what has been writ, and write sunthin' else. Why, it all makes folks feel a good deal like Belschazarses, only more riz up like. He felt guilty as a dog, which must hendered his lofty emotions from playin' free ; but folks that see this awsome and magestick spectacle don't have nothin' to drag down their soarin' emotions. Why, I'll bet that I had more emotions durin' that sight than Belschazar had when he see his writin' on the wall, only different. I guess that mine wuz more like Daniel's, though I can't tell, havin' SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 565 never talked it over with Daniel. But to re- soom. When we left the Electrical Buildin', it wuz so nigh at hand we jest stepped acrost into the Hall of Mines and Minin'. And it wuz dretful curious, wuzn't it ? Here we two wuz on the surface of the Earth, and we had jest been a-studyin' in a entranced way the workin's of a mighty sperit, who wuz, in the first place, brung down from above the Earth, and now, lo and behold ! we wuz on our way to see what wuz below the Earth. Curious and coincidin', very. Wall, as I walked acrost them few steps I thought of a good many things. One thing I thought on wuz the path I wuz a-walkin' on. I d'no as I've mentioned it before, but them foot-paths at the World's Fair are as worthy of at- tention as anything as there is there. I'll bet Columbus would have been glad to had such paths to walk on when he wuz footsore, and tired out. They are made of a compound of granite and cement, and are as smooth as a board, and as dura- ble as adamant. What a boon sech roads would be in the Spring and the Fall ! How it would lessen profanity, and 566 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. broken wagons, and broken-backed horses ! Folks say that they will be used throughout the World. Jonesville waits for it with longin'. Its name is Medusaline. I wuz real glad it had such a pretty name — it deserves it. Josiah wuz dretful took with the name. He said that he wuz a-goin' to name his nephew's twins Maryline and Medusaline. But mebby he'll forgit it. Wall, the Hall of Mines and Minin' is a im- mense, gorgeous palace, jest as all the rest on 'em be, and, like 'em all, it has more'n enough orni- ments, and domes, and banners, and so forth to make it comfortable. As we advanced up the magestick portal the riggers of miners, with hammers and pans in their hands, seemed to welcome us, and tell us what they had to do with the big show inside ; they seemed to be a-sayin' with their still lips, " If it hadn't been foi us — for the great Army of Labor, this show would have been a pretty slim one." Yes ; the great van- guard of Labor leads the van, and cuts down the trees, so's that Old Civilization and Progress can walk along, and swing their arms, and spread them- selves, as they have a way of doin'. Wall, to anybody that loves to look on every side of a idee from top to bottom, and had had sech ex- SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 567 periences on top of the Earth as I had, it wuz a great treat to see what wuz inside of the Old World. And wuzn't it a sight ! Sech heaps of glitterin' golden and silver ore, sech slabs of shinin' marble, and sech precious stuns I never expect to see agin till I git where the gates arc Pearl and the streets paved with Pure Gold. On the west side are the exhibits from Foreign mineral-producin' countries, beginnin' with the Cen- tral and South American States. These Mines, worked way back before history begins, that furnished the gold that Cortez loaded his rcturnin' galleons with, still keep right on a-yieldin' their rich treasures, provin' that there is no end to 'em, as you may say. On the opposite side of the avenue are the treas- ures of our own country. Each State and Terri- tory has tried, seemin'ly, to make the richest and most dazzlin' exhibition. Here Xew England shows in a way that can't be disputed her solid granite and marble founda- tion — vast and beautiful and glossy exhibit. Then the immense coal exhibit of the great States of the Appalachian range, and the Ohio valley, shows forth its wealth in shinin' black masses. 568 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Pyramiads and arches of glitterin' iron and steel, statutes in brass, bronze, and copper, supported on pedestals of elaborate wrought metals. Then there are pillows and statutes and pyramiads of salt so blindin'ly brilliant that you almost have to shet your eyes when you look at 'em. The South shows up her mineral fertilizers, and paints, and her precious ores. The gold of North Carolina, the phosphates of Florida, and the iron ores of Alabama are here in plain sight. California, Montana, Colorado, Idaho, shows a gorgeous exhibit of gold and other precious ores. In the large porch in the centre of the buildin' is a high tower, made at the bottom of all sorts of minerals, and trimmed off handsome and appro- priate ; and the tower that shoots up from this foundation is made of all sorts of machines em- ployed in minin'. From this centre aisles and avenues branch off in every direction. Great Britain and German)' and our own great- est mineral States are here facin' this centre. And you can walk down every avenue, and have your eyes most blinded by the splendor of the exhibit. You can see jest how they extract the gold from the ore from the minute it is dug out of the earth SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 569 till it is wrought into the shinin' dollar or beautiful orniment You can see how Electricity, the Wizard, plays his part here, as everywhere else, in drivin' drills, and workin' huge minin' pumps and hoistin' appliances. You can see how this Wizard gives the signals, fires the blast, and does everything he is told to do, and does it better than anybody else could, and easier. Then there are figgers in groups representin' the old laborious way of minin', old crushin' mortars and mills of ancient Mexico, propelled by mules, compared with the automatic tramways and hy- draulic transmission of coal by a liquid medium, and all the other swift and modern ways. South Africa shows off her diamond fields. The machinery picks up the blue clay right before our eves, the native Kaffirs pick out the precious pebbles and sort 'em out, and a diamond-cutter right here, with his chisel and wheel, cuts and pol- ishes 'em till they are turned out a flashin' gem to adorn a queen. Then, if you git tired of roamin' round on the first floor, you can go up into the broad gallery and look down in the vast halls and avenues, full of dazzle and glitter. Dretful interestin' them wuz to look at — dretful. 570 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. And up here are the offices of Geoligists, Minin' Engineers, and Scientists, and a big library under charge of a librarian. And here, too, is a laboratory where experiments are a-bein' conducted all the time. Wall, it wuz a sight — a sight what we see there. But the thing that impressed me the most in the hull buildin', and I thought on't all the time I wuz there, and thought on't goin' home, and waked up and thought on't — It wuz a statute of woman named Justice — a female big as life, made of solid silver from her head to her heels, and a-standin' on a gold world — ■ Jest as they do in the streets of the New Jerusa- lem. Oh, my heart, think on't ! Yes, it tiekled me to a extraordinary degree, for sech a thing must mean sunthin' ! The world borne on the outspread wings of an eagle is under her feet, and under that is a foundation of solid gold. First, the riches of the earth to the bottom ; then the eagle Ambition, and wavin' wings of power and conquest, carryin' the hull round world, and then, above 'em all, Woman. Yes, Justice in the form of woman stood jest where she ort to stand — right on top of the world. Justice and Woman has too long been crumpled SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. j#I down, and trod on. But she has got on top now, and I believe will stay there for some time. She holds a septer in her right hand, and in her left a pair of scales. She holds her scales evenly balanced — that is jest as it ort to be ; they have always tipped up on the side of man (which has been the side of Might). But now they are held even, and Rtg/if will determine how the notches stand, not Might. 1 don't believe that the Nation would make a statute of woman out of solid silver, and stand it on top of the world, if it didn't lay out to give her sect a little mite of what she svmbolizes. The\' hain't a-goin' to make a silver woman and call it Justice, if they lay out to keep their idee of wimmen in the future, as they have in the past, the holler pewter image stuffed full of all sorts of injustices, and meannesses, and downtroddenness. They hain't a-goin' to stand the figger of woman and Justice on top of the world, and then let woman herself grope along in the deepest and dark- est swamps and morasses of injustice and oppression, taxed without representation, condemned and hung by laws they have no voice in makin'. Goin' on in the future as in the past — bringin' children into the world, dearer to 'em than their heart's blood, and then have their hearts torn out of 57-' SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 'em to see these children go to ruin before 'em through the foolishness and wickedness of laws they have no power to prevent — nay, if they are rich, to see their loved ones helped to their doom by their own wealth ; taxed to extend and perpetuate these means of death and Hell, and they with their hands bound by the chains of Slavery and old Custom. But things are a-goin' to be different. I see it plain. And I looked on that figger with big emo- tions in my heart, and my umbrell in my hand. I knew the Nation wuzn't a-goin' to depicter woman with the hull earth at her feet, and then deny her the rights of the poorest dog that walks that globe. No ; that would be makin' too light of her, and makin' perfect fools of themselves. They wouldn't of their own accord put a septer in her hand, if they laid out to keep her where she is now — under the rule of the lowest criminal landed on our shores, and beneath niggers, and Injuns, and a-settin' on the same bench in a even row with idiots, lunaticks, and criminals. No ; I think better of 'em ; they are a-goin' to carry out the idee of that silver image in the gold of practical justice, I believe. If I hadn't thought so, I would a-histed up my um- brell and hit that septer of hern, and knocked that globe out from under her feet. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 573 And them four mountaineers, a-guardin' her with rifles in their hands, might have led me off to prison for it if they had wanted too — I would a done it anyway. But, as I sez, I hope for better things, and what give me the most courage of anything about it wuz that Justice had got her bandages off. That is jest what I have wanted her to do for a long time. I had advised Justice jest as if she had been my own Mother-in-law. I had argued with her time and agin to take that bandage offen her eyes. And when I see that she had took my advice, and meditated on what happiness and freedom wuz ahead for my sect, and realized plain that it wuz probable all my doin's — why, the proud and happy emotions that swelled my breast most broke off four buttons offen my bask waist. And onbeknown to me I carried myself in that proud and stately way that Josiah asked me anxiously — " If I had got a crick in my back ?''" I told him, " Xo, I hadn't got any crick, but I had proud and lofty emotions on the inside of my soul that no man could give or take away." "Wall," sez he, "you walked considerable like our old peacock when she wants to show off." I pitied him for his short-sightedness, but uncon- 5/4 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. sciouslv I did, I dare presoom to say, onbend a little in my proud gait. And we proceeded onwards. Wall, on our way home we heard a bystander a-speakin' about the beautiful vistas, and the other one replied, and said how wonderful and beautiful he considered 'em. And Josiah sez to me, "Where be them ' Vistas,' anyway? I've hearn more talk about 'em than a little — do they keep 'em in cases, or be thev rolled up in rolls? I want to see 'em, anyway," and he turned and went to go into one of the big palaces. Sez he, " He seemed to be a-pintin' this way ; we must have missed 'em the day we wuz here." But 1 took holt of his arm and drawed him back, and I pinted down the long, beautiful distance, the glorious view bounded by the snowy sculptured heights of palaces — long, green, flower-gemmed avenues of beauty — with the blue waters a-shinin' calm behind towerin' statutes of marvellous concep- tion, and sez I— " Behold a vista !" He put on his specs and looked clost, and sez he— " I don't see nothin' out of the common." "No," sez I; "spiritual things are spiritually discerned. The wind bloweth where it listeth," sez I. CL -X^-^^ Beiiuld a vista !" $y6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. "Oh, bring up the Bible," sez he; "there is a time for all things." He acted real pudgiky. But I at last got him to understand what a vista wuz, and I told him that Mr. Burnham and the others who had charge of buildin' this marvellous city took no end of pains to design these marvellous picters — more lovely than wuz ever painted on canvas sence the world begun. And sez I, as I looked round me once more, some as Moses did on Pisga's height, "and viewed the landscape o'er " — Sez I, " I must thank the head one here — I must thank Director-General Davis in my own name,- and in the name of Jonesville, and the world, for gittin' up this incomparable spectacle, the like of which will never be seen agin by livin' eyes." And if you'll believe it, I hadn't hardly finished speakin' when who should come towards us but General Davis himself. I knew him in a minute, for his picter had been printed in papers as many as two or three times since the Fair begun — it wuz a real good-lookin' face, anyway, in a paper or out of it. And I gathered up the folds of my cotton um- brell more gracefully in my left hand, and kinder shook out the drapery of my alpaca skirt, and wuz SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 577 jest advancin' to accost him, when Josiah laid holt of my arm and whispered in a sharp axent — - " I won't have it. You hain't a-goin' to stop and visit with that man." I faced him with dignity and with some madness in my liniment, and sez I, "Why?" Sez he, " Do you ask why ?" " Yes," sez I, with that same noble, riz-up look on my eyebrow — "why?" "Wall," sez he, a-lookin' kinder meachin', "I want sunthin' to eat, and you'd probable talk a hour with him by the way you've praised up his doin's here." By this time General Davis wuz fur away. And I sithed, when I thought on't, what he'd lost by not receivin' my eloquent and heartfelt thanks, and what I'd lost in not givin' 'em. I d'no as Josiah was jealous — mebby he wuzn't. But General Davis is considerable handsome, and Josiah can't bear to have me praise up any man, livin' or dead. Sometimes I have almost mis- trusted that he didn't like to have me praise up St. Paul too much, or David, or Job — or he don't seem to care so much about Job. But, as I say, mebby it wuzn't jealousy — his appetite is good ; mebby it was hunsrer. CHAPTER XIX. Wall, this mornin', on our way to the grounds, I scz to Josiah — "There is one thing that 1 want you to do the first thing to-day, and that is for you to see that good creeter, Senator Palmer." Sez I, " I jest happened to read this mornin' how he's takin' up a subseription to help the Duke of Veragua, and we must see him and help the eause along." Sez I, " I can't bear to think of Colum- buses folks a-sufferin' for things." Sez Josiah, " Let Columbuses folks nip in and work jest as I do, and they'll git along." "They hain't been brung up to it," sez I ; " I don't spoze he ever ploughed a acre of land in his life, or sheared a sheep. And I don't spoze she knows what it is to pick a goose, or do a two weeks' washin'." I'm sorry for 'em as I can be. And to think that that villain of a Manager should have run away with that money while they wuz over here a-helpin' their fore-fathers birthday ! Sez I, " It makes me feel like death." SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 579 " It makes me feel," sez Josiah gloomily, " that no knowin' hut the Old Harry will git into Ury while we are away." But I sez, "Don't worry, Josiah — Ury and Philura are pure gold." " Wall, dum it all, pure gold can be melted if the fire is hot enough." But I went back to the old subject — " We must give sunthin' to the cause ; it will be expected of us, and it is right that we should." " But," sez Josiah, with a gloomy and fierce look, " if I can git out of Chicago with a hull shirt on my back it's all I expect to do. I hain't no money to spend on Dukes, and you'll say so when we come to pay our bills." Sez I, " You needn't send any money, Josiah Allen ; but," sez I, " we might send 'em a tub of but- ter and a kag of cowcumber pickles jest as well as not, and a ham, to help 'em along through the winter, and I'd gladly send him and her yarn enough for a good pair of socks and stockin's. She might knit em," sez I, "or I would. I'll send him a pair of fringe mittens anyway," sez I ; "it hain't noways likely that she knows how to make them. They take intellect and practice to knit." And sez I, " I want you to be sure and see Senator Palmer without fail, and tell him to be sure $80 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. and let us know when he sends things, so's we can put in and add our two mites." Sez he, " The money has gone." "Wall," sez I, " I am a disap'inted creeter. I wanted to do my part towards gittin' them good, noble folks enough to live on till Spring." Sez Josiah (and mebby it wuz to git my attention off from the subject, which he felt wuz perilous to his pocket — he is clost) — sez he, " There is one man here, Samantha, that I'd give a cent to see." Sez I, "Who is it that you are willin' to make such a extraordinary outlay for ?" " The Rager," sez he. " The Rager," sez I dreamily ; " who's that ?" "Why, the Rager from India. I spoze," sez he, " that he is one of the raginest men that you ever see. He took his name from that, most likely, and to intimidate his subjects. Now, King or Emperor don't strike the same breathless terror ; but Rager — - why, jest the name is enough to make 'em behave." " Wall," sez I, "if the Monarch of Ingy is here I must see him, and git him not to burn any more widders with their dead pardners." Sez I, " It's a clear waste of widders, besides bein' wicked as wick- ed can be. Widders is handy," sez I, "now to keep boardin'-housen, or to go round as agents. Old maids hain't nothin' by the side of 'em', and they SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 5S1 look so sort 0' respectable behind their black veils, and then they are needed so for the widdower sup- ply — and that market is always full." Sez I, " I don't want 'em wasted, and I want the wickedness to be stopped. " And then to insist on marryin' so many wimmen. I'd love to labor with him, and convince him that one's enough." " It seems to me," sez Josiah, " that I could make him know that one's enough. It seems as if any mar- ried man might. Heaven knows, it seems so !" sez he. I didn't like his axent. There seemed to be some iron in it, but I wouldn't dane to parley. "And then," sez I, "their makin' their wimmen wear veils all the time. What a foolish habit ! What's the use on't ? Smotherin' 'em half to death, and wearin' out their veils for nothin'. "And then I'd make him educate 'em — gin 'em a chance," sez I ; "but whether he gives it or not the bell of Freedom is a-echoin' clear from Wyomin' to Ingv, and it sounds clear under them veils. They will be throwed off whether he is willin' or not, and I'd love to tell him so." Sez Josiah, "I guess it will be as the Rager sez." "No," sez I solemnly; "it will be as the Lord sez, and He is callin' to wimmen all over the earth, and they are answerin' the call." 582 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But we hearn afterwards that Josiah had got it wrong — it wuz Ragah — R-a-g-a-h — instead of Rager — and he wuz one of the most sensiblest fellers that ever stepped on our shores in royal shoes. He paid his own bills, wuz modest, and intelligent, wanted to git information instead of idolatry from the American people. He didn't want no ball, no bowin' and backin' off — no escort. No chance at all here for the Ward McAllisters to show off, and act. He acted like a good sensible American man, some as our son Thomas Jefferson would act if he should go over to his neighborhood on business. He wanted to see for himself the life of the Americans, the way the common people lived — he wanted to git information to help his own people. And he wanted to see Edison the most of all. That in itself would make him congenial to me. 1 myself think of Edison side by side with Christopher Columbus, and I guess the high chair he sets on up in my mind, with his lap full of his marvellous dis- coveries, is a little higher than Columbuses high chair. Oh, how congenial the Ragah of Kahurthalia would be ! How I wish we could have visited together! But it wuzn't to be, for Josiah said that he'd gone the night before, so we wended on. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 583 Wall, we hadn't more than got into the grounds this mornin' when Josiah hearn a bystander a-stand- in' near tell another one about the Ferris Wheel. "Why," sez he, "you jest git into one of them ears, and you are carried up so that it seems as if you can see the hull world at your feet." Josiah turned right round in his tracts, and sez he, " Where can I find that wheel ?" And the man sez, "On the Midway Plaisancc." And Josiah sez, "Where is that?" And the man pinted out the nearest way, and nothin' to do but what we must set out to find that wheel, and go up in one. I counselled caution and delay, but to no effect. That wheel had got to be found to once, and both on us took up in it. I dreaded the job. Wall, the Plaisancc begins not fur back of the Woman's Buildin'. It is a strip of land about six hundred feet wide and a mild in length, connecting Washington Park with Jackson Park, where Colum- bus has his doin's, and it comes out at the Fair Ground right behind the Woman's Buildin'. Josiah jest wanted to rush along, clamorin' for the wheel, and not lookin' for nothin' on either side till he found it. But I wuz firm in this as a rock, that if I went at 5K4 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. all I would go megum actio' and quiet, and look at everything we come to. And wuzn't there enough to look at jest in the street ? Folks of all nations under the earth. They seemed like the leaves of a forest, or the sands of the sea, if them sands and leaves wuz turned into men, wimmen, and children — high hats, bunnets, umbrells, fans, canes, parasols, turbans, long robes, and short ones, gay ones, bright ones, feathers, sedan chairs, bijous, rollin' chairs, Shacks — or that is how Josiah pronounced it. I told him that they wuz spelt S-h-e-i-k-s. But he sez that you could tell that they wuz Shacks by the looks on 'em. Truly it wuz a sight — a sight what we see in that street. Why, it wuz like payin' out some thousand dollars, and with two trunks, and onmeasured fatigue, spend years and years travellin' over the world. Why, we seemed to be a-journeyin' through for- eign countries, a-carryin' the thought with us that we took our breakfast in our own hum, and that we should sleep there that night, but for all that we wuz in Turkey, and Japan, and Dahomey, and Lap- land, etc., etc., etc. Wall, the first thing we come to as we begun on the right side — and anybody with my solid principles SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 585 wouldn't begin on any other side but the sheep's side — we wouldn't begin on the goats — no, indeed ! The first thing we come to wuz the Match Com- pany. Here you could see everything about makin' matches, and when you consider how hard it would be to go back to the old way of strikin' light with a flint, and traipsin' off to the neighbors to borrow a few coals on a January mornin', you will know how interestin' that exhibit wuz. And then come the International Dress and Costume Company — all the different countries of the globe show their home life and costumes. And I sez to Josiah, " If this Fair had been put off ten years, or even five, I believe the American wimmen would show a costume less adapted to squeezin' the life out of 'em, and scrapin' up all the filth and disease in the streets, and rakin' it hum." And Josiah sez, "Oh, do come along! we shan't git to that wheel to-day if you dally so, and begin to talk about wimmen and their doin's." Then come the Workin' Man's I lome in Philadel- phia. Then the Libby Glass Works, and when Josiah discovered it wuz free, he willin'lv accedded to my request to walk in and look round. lie told me from the first on't that he wuzn't goin' to pay out a cent of money there. Sez lie, "We can see enough 5-S6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. — Heaven knows we can — without payin' for any sights." Wall, here we see all kinds of American glass manufactured, from goblets and butter-dishes up to glass draperies, dresses, laces, neck-ties, and all sorts of orniments. Josiah sez, " Samantha, oh, how I would like a glass necktie — it would be so uneek ; how I could show off to Deacon Gowdy !" " Wall," sez I, " we can try to buy one, and at the same time I will order a glass polenay." " Oh, no," sez he, " it would be too resky ; glass is so brittle it would make you restive." And he tried to hurry me along, but I would look round a little ; and we see there right before our face and eyes a man take a long tube and dip it into melted glass, and blow out cups and flower- vases, and trim 'em all off with flowers of glass of all colors, and sech cut glass as we see there I never see before ; why, one little piece takes a man a month to cut it out into its diamond glitter. And I would stop to see that glass dress all fin- ished off for the Princess Eulaly. There it wuz in plain sight in Mr. Libby's factory draped on a wax hgger of Eulaly. Mr. Libby made it and present- ed it to the Princess. It took ten million feet of srlass thread ; it wuz It took ten million feet of glass thread, ant Eulaly will look real sweet in it. 588 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. wove into twelve yards of cloth, and sent to a dress- maker in New York, who fitted it to the Princess on her last days in the city. It is low neck and short sleeves, and has a row of glass fringe round the bottom, and soft glass niching round the neck and sleeves. It looks some like pure white satin, and some different. It is as beautiful as any dress ever could be, and Eulaly will look real sweet in it. She'll be sorry to not have me see her in it, I hain't a doubt. And oh, how I did wish, as I looked at it, that her ancestor could have seen it, and meditated how pert and forwards the land wuz that he'd discovered ! Glass dresses — the idee ! But Josiah looked kinder oneasy all the time that I wuz a-lookin' at it ; he wuz afraid of what thoughts I might be entertainin' in my mind onbeknown to him, and he hurried me onwards. But the very next place we come to he wuz still more anxious to proceed rapidly, for this wuz the Irish Village, where native wimmen make the fa- mous Irish laces. It wuz a perfect Irish village, lackin' the dirt, and broken winders, and the neighborly pigs, and etc. At one end of it is the exact reproduction of the ancient castle Donegal, famed in song and story. In the rooms of this castle the lace wuz exhibited — SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR 589 beautiful laces as I ever see, or want to see, and piles and piles of it, and of every beautiful pattern. I did hanker for some of it to trim a night-cap. As I told Josiah, " I wouldn't give a cent for any of the white lace dresses, not if I had to wear 'em, or white lace cloaks." Sez I, " I'd feel like a fool a-goin' to meetin' or to the store to carry off butter But it is so stylish, Samantha, and it only costs ten cents.' with a white lace dress on, or a white lace mantillv, but I would love dearly to own some of that narrer lace for a night-cap border." But his anxiety wuz extreme to go on that very instant. lie wanted to see the Blarney stun on top of the tower of the castle. It is a stun about as big as Josiah's hat, let down below the floor, so's you 590 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. have to stoop way down to even see it, let alone kissin' it. Josiah wuz very anxious to kiss it, but I frowned on the needless expense. Sez I, " Men don't need to kiss it ; Blarney is horn in 'em, as you may say, and is nateral nater to 'em." Sez he, " But it is so stylish to embrace it, Saman- tha, and it only costs ten cents." " But," I sez firmly, "you hain't a-goin' to kiss no chunk of Chicago stun, Josiah Allen, or pay out your money for demeanin' yourself." Sez I, "The original Blarney stun is right there in its place in the tower of Blarney Castle in Ire- land. Tt hain't been touched, and couldn't be." " I don't believe that Lady Aberdeen would allow no sech works to go on," sez he. Sez I, " Lady Aberdeen can't help herself. How can a minister keep the hull of his congregation from lyin' ?" Sez I, " She is one of the nicest wimmen in the world — one of the few noble ones that reach down from high places, and lift up the lowly, and help the world. I don't spoze she knows about the Blarney stun. And don't you go to tellin' her," sez I severely, "and hurt her feelin's." Sez he, in a morbid tone, "We hain't been in the SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 591 habit of visitin' back and forth, and probable if we wuz, you'd tell her before I could if you got a chance. Wimmen have sech long tongues." He wuz mad, as I could see, about my breakin' ^n^tay He found the next place we entered full of dangers to his pocket-book. up his fashionable performance with that Chicago rock, but T didn't care. I merely sez, "If you want to do anything to remember the place, you can buy me a yard and a half of linen lace to trim that night-cap, or a under- clothe, Josiah." Hut he acted agitated here, and sez he, " I presoom that it is cotton lace." 592 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. Sez T, " I wish you'd be megum, Josiah Allen. This lace is perfectly beautiful, and it is jest what they say it is. "And what a noble thing it wuz," sez I, "for Lady Aberdeen to do to gin these poor Irish lace- makers a start that mebbywill lift 'em right up into prosperity; and spozen," sez I, "that you buy me a yard or two ?" But he fairly tore me away from the spot. He acted fearful agitated. But alas ! for him, he found the next place we entered also exceedin'ly full of dangers to his pocket-book, for this wuz a Japanese Bazaar, where every kind of queer, beautiful manufactures can be bought — Rugs, bronzes, lacquer work, bamboo work, fans, screens, more tea-cups than you ever see before, and little silk napkins of all colors, where you can have your name wove right in it before your eyes, and etcetry, etcetry. Here also the peculiar fire depart- ment of the Japanese is kept. The next large place is occupied by the Javanese ; this concession and the one right acrost the road south of it is called the " Dutch Settlement," because the villages wuz got up by a lot of Dutch mer- chants. But the people are from the Figi, Philippine, and SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 593 Solomon Islands, Samoa, Java, Borneo, New Zea- land, and the Polnesian Archipelagoes. Jest think on't ! there Josiah Allen and I wuz a-travellin' way off to places too fur to be reached only by our strainin' fancy — places that we never expected or drempt that we could see with our mor- tal eyes only in a gography. Here I wuz a-walkin' right through their country villages with my faithful pardner by my side, and my old cotton umbrell in my hand, a-seemin' to anchor me to the present while I floated off into strange realms. All these different countries show their native in- dustries. We went into the Japanese Village, under a high arch, all fixed off with towers, and wreaths, and swords — dretful ornimental. There wuz more than a hundred natives here. Their housen are back in the inclosure, and their work-shops in front, and in these shops and porti- cos are carried on right before your eyes even' trade known in Japan, and jest as they do it at home — carvers, carpenters, spinners, weavers, dyers, mu- sicians, etc., etc. The colorin' they do is a sight to see, and takes almost a lifetime to learn. The housen of this village are mostly made of bamboo — not a nail used in the place. Why, 594 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. sometimes one hull side of their housen would be made of a mat of braided bamboo. Bamboo is used by them for food, shelter, war implements medicine, musical instruments, and everything else. Their housen wuz made in Japan, and brung over here and set up by native workmen. They have thatched ruffs and kinder open-work sides, dretful curious-lookin', and on the wide porticos of these housen little native wimmen set and embroider, and wind skeins of gay-colored cotton, and play with their little brown black-eyed babies. The costumes of the Japanese look dretful curious to us ; their loose gay-colored robes and turbans, and sandals, etc., look jest as strange as Josiah's panta- loons and hat, and my bask waist duz to them, I spoze. They're a pleasant little brown people, always polite — that is learnt 'cm as regular as any other lesson. Then there is another thing that our civil- ized race could learn of the heathen ones. Missionaries that we send out to teach the heathen let their own children sass 'em and run over 'em. That is the reason that they act so sassy when they're growed up. Politeness ort to be learnt young, even if it has to be stomped in with spanks. The Japanese are a child-like people easily SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 595 pleased, easily grieved — laughin' and cryin' jest like children. They work all day, not fast enough to hurt 'em, and at nightfall they go out and play all sorts of native games. That's a good idee. I wish that Jonesvillians would foller it. You'd much better be shootin' arrers from blowpipes than to blow round and jaw your household. And you'd much better be run- nin' a foot race than runnin' your neighbors. They've got a theatre where they perform their native dances and plays, and one man sets behind a curtain and duz all the conversation for all the actors. I spoze he changes his voice some for the different folks. Wall, I led Josiah off towards the church, where all the articles of furniture is a big bamboo chair, w r here the priest sets and meditates when he thinks his people needs his thought. I d'no but it helps 'em some, if he thinks hard enough — thoughts are dretful curious things, any- way. Josiah and I took considerable comfort a-wander- in' round and seein' all we could, and noticin' how kind 0' turned round things wuz from Jonesville idees. Now, they had some queer-lookin' little store- 59^ SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. housen, and for all the world they opened at the top instead of the sides, to keep the snakes out of the rice in their native land, so they said. Josiah wuz jest crazy to have one made like it. " Why," sez he, " think of the safety on't, Saman- tha ! Who'd ever think of goin' into a corn house on top if they wanted to steal some corn ?" But I sez, " Foreign customs have got to be adopted with megumness, Josiah Allen." Sez I, " With your rumatiz, how would you climb up on't a dozen times a day ?" He hadn't thought of that, and he gin up the idee. Then the ideal figger of the Japanese wimmen is narre.r shoulders and big waist. And though I hailed the big waist joyfully, I drawed the line at the narrer shoulders. They have long poles about their housen, with holes bored in 'em, through which the wind blows with a mournful sort of a voice, and they think that that noise skairs away evil sperits. When they come here each of their little veran- das had a cage with a sacred bird in it to coax the good sperits ; they all died off, and now they've got some pigens for 'em, and made 'em think that they wuz sacred birds. And Josiah, as he see 'em, instinctively sez, " Dum SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD S FAIR. 597 'em, I'd rather have the evil sperits themselves round than them pigens, any time." He hates 'em, and I spoze they do pull up seeds considerable. Them Japanese wimmen are dretful cheerful- lookin', and Josiah and I talked about it considera- ble. Sez Josiah, " It's queer when, accordin' to their be- lief, a man's horse can go to Heaven, but their wives can't ; but the minute they leave this world another celestial wife meets him, and he and his earth wife parts forever. It is queer,'' sez he, " how under them circumstances that the wimmen can look so happy." And I sez, " It can't be that they hail anhialation as a welcome rest from married life, can it ?" Josiah acted mad, and sez he, " I'd be a fool if I wuz in your place !" And bein' kinder mad, he snapped out, "Them wimmen don't look as if they knew much more than monkeys ; compared to American wimmen, it's a sight." But I sez, " You can't always tell by looks, Josiah Allen." Sez I. " As small as they be, they've showed some of the greatest qualities since they've been here —Constancy, Fidelity, Love." Now one of them females lost a baby while she 598 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. wuz here. Did she act as some of our fashionable American wimmen do ? No. They own twenty Saritoga trunks, and wear their entire contents, but they do, as is well known, commit crime to evade the cares of motherhood. But this little woman right here in Chicago, she jest laid down broken-hearted and died because her baby died. Her true heart broke. Little and humbly, no doubt, and not many clothes on, but from a upper view I wonder if her soul don't look better than the civilized, fashionably dressed murderess ? There wuz theatres here with dancin' girls goin' as fur ahead, they said, of Louie Fuller and Carmen- citi as them two go ahead of Josiah and Deacon Sypher as skirt-dancers. I guess that Josiah Allen would have gone in, regardless of price, to see this sight, so onbecomin' to a deacon and a grandfather, but I broke it up at the first hint he gin. Sez I, "What would your pas- ture say to your ondertakin' such a enterprise? What would be the opinion of Jonesville ?" " Dum it all," sez he ; " David danced before the Ark." "Wall," sez I, "I hain't seen no ark, and I hain't seen no David." Sez I reasonably, "I wouldn't object to your seein' David dance if he Oh, wall, have your own way," sez he, and we wandered into the German Village. 600 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. wuz here and I wouldn't object to your seein' the Ark." " Oh, wall, have your own way, sez he, and we wandered into the German Village. The German Village represents housen in the upper Bavarian Mountains. There are thirty-six different buildin's. Inside the village is a Country Fair, the German Concert Garden, a Water Tower, and two Restaurants, Tyrolese dancers, Beer Hall, etc. In the centre is a 16th century castle, with moat round it, and palisades. Josiah wuz all took up with this, and said "how he would love to have a moat round our house." Sez he, "Jest let some folks that I know try to git in, wouldn't I jest hist up the drawbridge and drop 'em outside ?" And I sez, " Heaven knows, Josiah, that sech a thing would be convenient ofttimes, but," sez I, " anxieties and annoyances have a way of swimmin' moats, you can't keep 'em out." But he said "that he believed that he and Ury could dig a moat, and rig up a drawbridge." And to git his mind off on't I hurried him on. Inside the castle is a dretful warlike-lookin' group of iron men, all dressed up in full uniform, and there wuz all kinds of weepons and armor of German}-. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 6oi The Town Hall of this village is a museum. In the village market-place is sold all kinds of German goods. Two bands of music pipe up, and everybody is a-talkin' German. It made it consid- erable lively to look at, but not so edifyin' to us as if we knew a word they said. And then come the Street of Cairo, a exact rep- resentation of one of the most picturesque streets in old Cairo, with queer-lookin' kinder square housen, and some of the winders stood open, through which we got lovely views of a inner court, with green shrubs, and flowers, and fountains. On both sides of this street are dance halls, mosques, and shops filled with manufactures from Arabia and the Soudan. In the Museum are many curious curiosities from Cairo and Alexandria. And the street is filled with dogs, and donkeys, and children and fortune-tellers, and dromedaries, and sedan chairs, with their bearers, and camels, and birds, and vvimmen with long veils on coverin' most of their faces, jest their eves a-peerin' out as if they would love to git acquainted with the strange East- ern world, where wimmen walk with faces uncovered, and swung out into effort and achievement. I guess they wuz real good-lookin'. I know that the men with their turbans and long robes looked quite well, though odd. In the shops wuz the most 602 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. beautiful jewelry and precious stuns, and queer- lookin' but magnificent silk goods, and cotton, and lamps, and leather goods, and weepons, etc., etc., etc. Wall, right there, as we wuz a-wanderin' through that street, from the handsomest of the residences streamed forth a bridal procession. The bride wuz dressed in gorgeous array of the beautiful fabrics of the East. And the bridegroom, with a train of haughty-lookin' Arabs follerin' him, all swept down the streets towards the Mosque, with music a-soundin' out, and flowers a-bein' throwed at 'em, and boys a-yellin', and dogs a-barkin', etc., etc. I drew my pardner out of the way, for he stood open-mouthed with ad- miration a-starin' at the bride, and almost rooted to the spot. But I drawed him back, and sez I, " If you've got to be killed here, Josiah Allen, I don't want you killed by a Arab." And he sez, " I d'no but I'd jest as lieves be kill- ed by a Arab as a Turkey. " But," sez he, "you tend to yourself, and I'll A-starin' at the SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 603 tend to myself. I wuz jest a-studyin' human nater, Samantha." And that wuz all the thanks I got for rescuin' him. It wuz jest as interestin' to walk through that village as it would he to go to Egypt, and more so — for we felt eonsiderable safer right under Unele Sam's right arm, as it wuz — for here we wuz way off in Africa, amongst their minarets and shops, and tents, men, wimmen, and children in their strange garbs, dancin,' playin' music, cookin' and servin' their food, jest as though they wuz to hum, and we wuz neighborin' with 'em, jest as nateral as we neighbor to hum with Sister Henzv or she that wuz Submit Tewksbury. Then there wuz some native Arabs with 'em who wuz a-eatin' scorpions, and a-luggin' round snakes, and a-cuttin' and piercin' themselves with wicked- lookin' weepons, and eatin' glass ; I wuz glad enough to git out of there. I hate daggers, and abominate snakes, and always did. And then I knew what a case Josiah Allen is to imitate and toiler new-fangled idees, and I didn't want my new glass butter dish and cream piteher to fall a victim to his experiments. Wall, next come Algeria and Tunis, and then Tunicks showed jest how they lived and moved in their own Barberv's state. 604 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Their housen are beautiful, truly Oriental — white, with decorations of pale green, blue, and vermilion. One is a theatre that will hold 600 folks. Then comes the panorama of the big volcano Kilauana. They couldn't bring the volcano with 'em, as volcanoes can't be histed round and lifted up on camels, or packed with sawdust, specially when they're twenty-seven milds acrost. So they brung this great picter of it. I spoze it is a sight to see it. But Josiah felt that he couldn't afford to go in and see the sight, and he sez, " It is only a hole with some fire and ashes comin' out of the top of it." I sez ironically, " Some like our leech barrel, hain't it, with a few cinders on top ?" "Why, yes; sunthin' like that," sez he. "It wouldn't pay to throw away money on ashes and lire that we can see any clay to hum." I didn't argue with him, for I never took to vol- canoes much — I never loved to git intimate with 'em. But it wuz a sight to behold, so Miss Plank said — she went in to see it. She said, " It took her breath away the sight on't, but she's got it back agin (the breath) ; she talked real diffuse about it. But to resoom. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 605 The Chinese Village wuz jest like goin' through China or bein' dropped down onbeknown to you into a China village. Two hundred Chinamen are here by a special dispensation of Uncle Sam. And next to China is the Captive Balloon. I had wondered a sight what that meant. Josiah thought that somebody had catched a young balloon, and wuz bringin' it up by hand, but I knew better than that. I knew that balloons didn't grow indigenious. And it wuz jest as I'd mistrusted — they had a big balloon here all tied up ready to start off at a minute's notice. You jest paid your money, and you could go on a trip up in it through the blue fields of air. I told Josiah " that it wouldn't be but a few years before folks would ride round in 'em jest as common as they do in wagons." Sez I, " Mebby we shall have a couple of our own stanchled up in our own barn." " You mean tied up," sez he, and I do spoze I did mean that. But now to look up at the great deep overhead, and consider the vastness of space, and consider the smallness of the ropes a-holdin' the balloon down, 1 said to myself, " Mebby it wuz jest as well not to tackle the job of ridin' out in it that day." 606 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Jest as I wuz a-meditatin' this Josiah spoke up, and sez, " I won't pay out no two dollars apiece to ride in it." And I sez, " I kinder want to go up in it, and I kinder don't want to." And he sez, " That is jest like wimmen — whifflin', onstabled, weak-livered." Sez I, " I believe you're afraid to go up in it." "Afraid !" sez he ; " I wouldn't be afraid a mite if it broke loose and sailed off free into space." " Why don't you try it, then ?" I urged. " Wall," he sez, a-lookin' round as if mebby he could find some excuse a-lavin' round on the ground, or sailin' round in the air, "if I wuz," sez he — " if I had an- other vest on. I hain't dressed up exactly as I'd want to be to go a-balloon ridin'. " And then," sez he, a-brightenin' up, " I don't want to skair you. You'd most probable be skairt into a fit if it should break loose and start off inde- pendent into space. And it w T ould take away all my enjoyment of such a pleasure excursion to see you a-layin' on the earth in a fit." Sez I, "It hain't vests or affection that holds you back, Josiah Allen — it's fear." " Fear !" sez he ; "I don't know the meanin' of that word only from what I've read about it in the dictionary. Men don't know what it is to be afraid, SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 607 and that is why," sez he, " that I've always been so anxious to have wimmen keep in her own spear, where men could watch over her, humble, domestic, grateful. " Nater plotted it so," sez he ; " nater designs the male of creation to branch out, to venter, to labor, to dare, while the female stays to hum and tends to her children and the housework." Sez he, " In all the works of nater the females stay to hum, and the males soar out free. " It is a sweet and solemn truth," sez he, " and female wimmen ort to lay it to heart. In these latter days," sez he, " too many females are a-risin' up, and vainly a-tryin' to kick aginst this great law. But they can't knock it over," sez he- — " the female foot hain't strong enough." He wuz a-goin' on in this remarkably eloquent way on his congenial theme, but I kinder drawee! him in by remindin' him of Miss Sheldon's tent we see in the Transportation Buildin' — the one she used in her lonely journevin' a-explorin' the Dark Conti- nent. Sez I, "There is a woman that has kinder branched out." " Yes," sez he, " but men had to carry her." Sez he, " Samantha, the Lord designed it that females should stay to hum and tend to their babies, and wash the dishes. And when vou r upwards of two years, and you know jest how bad we did want to come here. " But I don't know as it wuz exactly right to come off so soon after he fell. I spoze it will make talk, I spoze his folks will talk, and the Jonesvillians." " But," I sez, for I wanted to comfort her — she's a good crceter — Sez I, " Columbus had to wait before he sot out to discover us, till Grenada fell, and that made talk." Sez I, " Probable Columbuses folks talked as much as Bizer's folks will. But," sez I, "it wuz all for the best. Whyee ! Sflinda and Bizer, is it you ?' : 628 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. "And," sez I, "your Father Da^o-et wuz a good creeter before he lost his mind." " Yes," sez she, " but for upwards of two years he's tried to put his pantaloons on over his head, and he'd put his arms in his boots every time if we'd let him, thinkin' it wuz a vest." "Wall," sez I, "you've did well by him, Selinda, and now if I wuz in your and Bizer's place, I'd try to look round all I eould and git my mind off, and see everything I could see." Sez she with a deep sithe, " There hain't no trouble about that ; there is enough to see." Sez she, "It seems as though I had seen enough every five minutes sence I come, if it wuz spread out even and smooth, to cover a hull lifetime, and cover it thick, too," sez she. "And," sez I, warmly and candidly, "Heaven knows that is true — true as gospel." And then Selinda and Bizer, and Josiah and me walked on into other parts of the buildin', and there we see a small-lookin' model of the Santa Maria, the Admiral's flag-ship, manned by men with the same clothes on as wuz wore by Columbuses mariners. That filled me with large emotions, and Selinda felt it too. And it wuz here that Josiah nudged me, and sez he, " You've always throwed it into my face that men SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 629 don't think so much of each other as wimmen do ; and now," sez he, "look at them two men — I've watched 'em as long as ten minutes — a-holdin' each other's hands." And sure enough, I turned, and I see two good- lookin' men a-holdin' each other by the hand as if they loved each other fondly — As if they couldn't bear to leggo. They wuz first-rate lookin' men, too, and you could see plain by their liniments how much store they sot by each other. Wall, Josiah and I wended off and looked at the wax riggers of Lincoln, and the death of Marie Antoinette, and lots of other interestin' wax stat- utes ; and when we come back, there stood them two men still a-holdin' each other by the hand ; and Josiah whispered agin, " How they love each other ! no gabblin' and gushin', like wimmen, but jest silent, clost, deep love." " But," I sez, " I believe there is sunthin' wrong about 'em. It hain't nateral for men to stand still so long holt of hands. I believe they're in a fit or sunthin'." " A fit ! " sez he. " I spoze a woman would have a fit if she had to keep still a minute with another woman in gunshot of her. " But to satisfv you," sez he, " I'll see." 630 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. So he accosted 'em, and sez he, " I will ask the way to Noah's Ark." So he advanced with a polite air, and sez he, " Could either one of you two gentle- men tell me where Noah's Ark is situated ?" Sez he, " Bizer is anxious to see it." They didn't move or stir, and Josiah agin sez, " Do you know where Noah's Ark is ?" and he laid his hand on the arm of one of the men who stood near him. A Columbian Guard who stood near sez, " Keep your hand offen the wax figger !" Josiah wuz mortified most to death. He'd wanted to show off the equality of his sect, and to have man's love and fidelity proved to be but wax wuz harm win'. But he didn't stay mortified more'n a minute and a half on sech a business. And the Guard told us where Noah's Ark wuz. And Bizer and Josiah wuz all carried away with it. This wuz in the children's room, and all the animals are reproduced life size, every one of 'em two and two, jest as they enter the Ark. We couldn't hardly tear our two pardners away, Selinda and 1 couldn't. Josiah said, " It wuz so beautiful and interestin'/' and so Bizer said. But 1 believe what made them men clino- to it so SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 63 1 for sech a length of time, they hearn us talk about how we wanted to go into the Bazaar, where there wuz lots of things to sell. But finally they see they couldn't hold us back no longer, so we went through that gorgeous place, all full of bronzes, rugs, vases, pipes, and etcetry. We didn't stay long here, though, for Bizer and Josiah said that the air wuz that bad they wuz chokin', and that they couldn't stan' it. And Selinda and I a-feelin' that chokin' a pard- ner wuz the last thing we wanted to undertake, we went through it at a pretty good jog, and anon we found ourselves in Turkey ; and here I found the Turkeys had done first-rate. Why, one piece of their hand-wrought lace wuz worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. While I wuz a-admirin' of it, Josiah whispered firmly — " Don't go to thinkin' of that old night-cap in sech a time as this." And I whispered back, " I hain't no more idee on't than you have of buyin' that old tent to take down to the lake with you a-fishin'." That very old battle-tent wuz all hand work, em- broidered in gold and silver and silk in nateral figgers, and they said it wuz worth Wvc millions of dollars — And a silver bedstead the Sultan is a-goin' to give 6^2 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. to his daughter as a part of her settin' out when she marries wuz worth four hundred and fifty thousand dollars. You can from this form some idee of the value of the other enormous exhibits. And the most beautiful horses you ever see, right from the Sultan's stable, wuz a-prancin' round. And one hundred Beoudins with camels and dromedaries added to the picteresqueness of the seen. And then we see Cleopatri's needle, that tall column a-risin' up to the sky, all covered with writ- in' worse than mine, and that's a-sayin' a good deal. I couldn't read a word on't, nor Josiah couldn't. And to the back of the Grand Bazaar wuz leven cottages, where male and female Turkeys wuz workin' at their different trades, showin' jest how rugs, and carpets, and embroideries, and brass work is made. As I said to Belinda, " Would you believed it possible, Selinda, if we'd been told on't a dozen years ago that you and I should be a-travellin' in Turkey to-day ?" And she said," No, indeed ; she had never imag- ined that she should ever visit sech foreign shores." Yes, we felt considerable riz up to think that we wuz engaged in foreign travel, but not hauty. No, we are both on us well-principled, and don't believe in puttin' on airs. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 6$$ Wall, we stayed here a good while, and Josiah thought he'd eat sunthin' here, too. If he'd had his way, he would had a good square meal in every foreign country, and native one, too. That man's appetite is wonderful. Foreign countries can't quell it down, nor rumatiz, nor nothin'. Hakenbeck's animal show comes next, and it is the most complete — so they say — that wuz ever ex- hibited. The tent is two hundred feet square, and is filled with all the animals that ever went into the Ark, and more, too, I believe. Five thousand people can go in here at one time, and set down, and see lions a-ridin' on horseback, with a woman to run the per- formance, and see animals a-doin' everything else that ever wuz done by 'em, and tigers, and elephants, and performin' horses, and two hundred monkeys, and one thousand parrots. We didn't go in, but Josiah slipped in one day when I wuzn't with him, and he described it to me. He owned up to me that he had. And he said he did it to keep me from havin' sech a skair." " Why," sez he, " a woman that is afraid of a gob- bler, and runs from a snake — "Why," sez he, "I wouldn't as a man of feelin' take her right in the way of havin' her feelin's hurt 634 SAM ANTRA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. and skairin' her most to death for nothin' this world could give." And I said — and I meant it — " If it hadn't been for the fifty cents I guess you wouldn't felt so, Josiah Allen." But he stuck to it that it wuz pure affection and principle. I d'no what to think about it, but I have my suspicions. Wall, at the next place Josiah could not be re- strained. It wuz the good old-fashioned New Eng- land house with gable ends, and here a good New England dinner wuz served. And sez Josiah, " I don't leave this house till I have a good square meal." Bizer felt jest so, and so Selinda and I jined 'em in a meal most as good as she and I got up to hum, and that is sayin' a great deal. Josiah's satisfaction in eatin' that pork and beans, and them doughnuts, wuz a sight to wit- ness. Bizer called for cold biled vittles, and sure enough, they brung 'em on. And the enjoyment of them two men wuz extreme. Selinda and I took comfort in some old- fashioned pound-cake and custard pie. Selinda said she'd love to have the receipt of that pound-cake. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 635 Selinda is a good plain cook. She can't cook like me, of course, but she dux well. Wall, their extra good meal had sot^up Josiah and Bizer to a wonderful extent (they had drunk coffee too strong for 'em by half, and I knew it), and them two men wanted to go back into the Cairo Street. Bizer and Selinda had never seen it, and all the way there Josiah seemed to be on the look- out to do sunthin' heroic and surprisin' to Bizer. And jest after we got there, we did see as strange a sight as I ever see. It wuz a Eastern Fakir, as they called him. He wuz performin' one of his strange sights right there before our face and eves. A big crowd wuz gathered round him of human bein's in all strange costumes, and camels and their drivers, and dromedaries, and donkeys, and every- thing else under the sun. But this man stood calm under the sights and ear-piercin' yells and jabbers. And in some way, I d'no how, nor Josiah don't, he wuz a-holdin' another Japan or Turkey — any- way, one of them foreign men — suspended right up in the air. I see it, and Josiah see it, and Bizerses folks. Eight eves from Jonesville looked at it, to say nothin' of the assembled crowd. lie wu/.n't restin' on nothin' at all, so fur as we 636 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. could see. What material wrought out of the Occult World wuz piled up under him I d'no. There might have been a sofa and two cushions wrought out of another fabric different from what we know anything about, and that don't make any show aginst the summer sky. And then, agin, it might be that Josiah wuz right. He sez, "It's easy enough to do that. He casts a mist before our eyes, and we have to see jest what he wanted us to." "Wall," sez I, " if I had to do one of 'em to enter- tain the Missionary Society at Jonesville, I d'no but I had jest as soon hist Submit Tewksbury up in the air, and suspend her there in our parlor, as to cast mists before the eyes of the Jonesvillians and make 'em see her there when she wuz a-settin' on the sofa. Either one on 'em is queer — queer as a clog." " Wall," sez he, " you don't want to go into any sech a job. You'll kill Submit, anyway, exper- imentin' on her." And I sez, " You needn't worry ; I hain't a-goin' to try to branch out into no sech doin's." Sez I, " I wuz usin' Submit as a metafor." Wall, the Fakir after a while asked the queer- lookin' crowd gathered round him for money to try more experiments with. SAMAXTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 6}~ And wantin' to branch out and outdo Bizer, and make himself a hero, Josiah planked out a five-dol- lar bill. And then the man asked Josiah to look in his hat, and there inside the band he found the money, or so it seemed. And then he told me to look in my pocket, and there wuz five silver dollars to all appearance. I felt real well about it, and wuz about to put 'em into my portmonev, thinkin' that they wuz my law- ful prey, seein' they had fell onto me through my pardner's weakness, when lo and behold ! they wuzn't there. I felt real stunted, and kinder sot back. "Slight of hand," sez Josiah to me and Bizer. " Don't be afraid, I'll make it all right." And he reached out his hand to git the money back. The man handed the money back, or so we spozed, and vanished in the crowd. And Josiah, when he went to look in his hand, found some pink and white paper. Fie hollered round and acted for quite a spell, but the man wuz gone for good, and Josiah's money with him. Wall, Josiah wuz almost broken-hearted over the loss of his money ; hue felt awful browbeat and smut, and acted so. And then it wuz Bizer'stime to show off and act. 63$ SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Nothin' to do but what Selinda had got to ride a camel. She hung hack and acted 'fraid. She hain't a hit well, for all she is so fat. She has real dizzy spells sometimes, and is that cowardly that she'd he 'fraid to ride a cow, let alone one of them tall, humbly monsters. But nothin' to do but what Bizer would have his way. He did it jest to go ahead of us, and I knew it, for I put my foot right down in the first on't. Josiah would a paid out the money willin'ly ruther than had Bizer go ahead of him. Bizer said he wanted to give Selinda all the en- joyment he could while on her tower, she had been shet up so much, and hadn't had the pleasures she ort to had. I knew his motives and Selinda's feelin's, but couldn't break it up, for Selinda had always follered Elder Minkley's orders strict, that he gin her at the altar— " Wives, obey your husbands." She didn't rebel outward, but she whispered to me in pitiful axents — " I hate to ride that creeter — oh, how I hate to ! But you know my principles," sez she ; " you know I always said that wives ort to obey their pardners." And I sez, "When pardners and common sense SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 639 conflict, I foller common sense every time. How- sumever," sez I, "if you want to air them principles of yourn, you won't be apt to find a more lofty place to exhibit 'em." And I glanced up the gray precipitous sides of that camel, and she looked up 'em, too, with fear and tremblin', but begun to gird her lions, figgera- tively speakin', to obey Bizer and embark. She has always boasted to me and the other neighborin' wimmen that she has never disobeyed her husband once ; and I sez to her cheerfullv, " Wall, I have, and expect to agin, if the Lord spares my life." And so Miss Bobbet told her, and Miss Gowdy, and Miss Peedick, and all the rest. She acted so high-headed about it, that we said it some to take down her pride, and some on principle. We believed there wuz reason in all things, and none of us wimmen felt that we would stand " On a burnin' deck, Whence all but we had fled," and burn up, even if our pardners had ordered us to. We wuz law-abidin', every one on us, but we felt there wuz times where law ended and com- mon sense begun. But Selinda argued, I well remember, that if 640 SAMA:\'THA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Bizer had ordered her to stay on that deck, she should stay and be sot fire to. And she praised up little Casey Bianky warmly, while we thought and said that Casey acted like a fool, and felt that Mr. Bianky would much ruther had him run and save himself than to burn up ; anyway, old Miss Bianky would, and I believe his pa would. Men are good-hearted creeters the biggest heft of the time, but failable in judgment sometimes, jest like female wimmen. But Selinda wuz firm in her belief. And here this day in Chicago she gin one of the most remarkable proofs of it ever seen in this country. So while Selinda trembled like a popple leaf, and her false teeth rattled over her dry tongue (besides the camel, she wuz 'fraid as death of the Turkey that driv it, and he did look fierce), the camel knelt down, and the almost swoonin' Selinda was histed up onto his back by the proud and haughty Bizer, and the strange-lookin' Turkey. She had no more than got seated when the driver give a skairful yell, and the camel give a fearful lunge, and straightened up on its feet, and Selinda's bunnet fell back onto her neck, and lay there through the hull of the enterprise, and her gray hair floated Before she had been up there two minits she heoun to cry. 642 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. back oncheckcd, for she dassent let her hands go a minit to fix it. It wuz a mournin' bunnet and veil, but black gittin' soiled so easy, she had put on a bright green alpaca dress she had, thinkin' that she wouldn't see nobody she knew ; and she wore some old yeller mitts for the same reason, and some low, shabby- lookin' shoes, and some white stockin's. And her weight bein' two hundred and forty, she showed off vivid aginst the settin' sun. Selinda is a meek woman and obedient, but she cries easy. You have got to take good traits and bad ones in folks. She can't help it. She always cries in class meetin', or anywhere — has cried time and agin a-tellin' how she would be trompled on and lay down and have her head chopped off if Bizer told her to. And of course it couldn't be expected she would go through this fearful experience without sheddin' tears. No ; before she had been up there two minits she begun to cry. She always makes up pitiful faces when she weeps. It has been talked on a sight in Joncsville, some sayin' she might help it, and some contendin' that she couldn't ; but she skairs children frequent. But now she dassent leggo a minit to git her handkerchief, so she rode along weepin' silently, and SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 643 a fearful sight fur men or angels, but truly a eryin' monument of wifely devotion. As she moved off, I eould see at the first strain her dress waist, bein one of the short round ones with a belt, had bust asunder, leavin' a white waist of cotton flannel between 'em, which seemed to be a-growin' wider and wider all the time. (She wears cotton flannel for her health.) As I see this, and not knowin' what would ensue and take place in her clothin', I cast onto the wind mv own fears, and the shrinkin' timidity of my sect, and graspin' my umbrell in my hand, I run along by the side of the lofty quadreped, a-tryin' to reach up and fix her a little. But I eould not ; her position wuz too lofty, the mount wuz too precipitous on which she sot. She see me, but she didn't stop her cryin', and the faces she wuz a-makin' wuz pitiful in the extreme, and skairful to anybody that hadn't seen 'em so much as I had. She wuz half bent, which made her cotton-flannel infirmity harder to witness. The camel wuz a-swayin' fearful from side to side, and a-lurchin' forwards and a lurchin' backwards at a dangerous rate. Oh, how dizzy-headed Selinda must have been! Howskairt and how dretful her feelin's wuz ! Sez I, " Dismount to once, Selinda Dagget," 644 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. " No," scz she ; " Bizer has placed me here, and here I will stay." " You don't know whether you will or not," sez I. "I believe you are a-fallin' off ; and," sez I," I'm 'fraid you'll git killed, Selinda ; do git down !" " I fear it too," sez she, and she looked down on me with agony in her mean, and sez she — "Good-bye, Sister Allen; if we don't meet agin, we both believe in a better country." I wuz all carried away by my emotions, or wouldn't spoke out so ; but I sez— "This country is all right enough, if folks didn't act like fools in it." Sez I, " Do you git down and pull down your bask, and wipe your nose and eyes ; you look like fury, Selinda Dagget." " No," sez she ; " Bizer wanted me to ride, and I shall die a-pleasin' him. I took vows of obedience onto me at the altar, and if I die here, Sister Allen, tell the female sistern at Jonesville that I died a-keepin' them vows." Sez I, " I'll tell 'em you died a nateral fool ;" and sez I agin, "Git down offen that camel, Selinda Dagget, before you fall off." And I kep clost by her, and kinder poked at her with my umbrcll, to let her know I hadn't deserted her, and havin' a blind idee that I could hold her up with it if the worst come. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 645 Where wuz Bizer durin' this fearful seen ? while I wuz a-showin' plain the deathless devotion to my sect — to another one in distress. He wuz all took up with his own feelin's of pride and show. He wuz a-ridin' a donkey, and it wuz a-baekin' up and a-actin', and took every mite of his strength and firmness to keep on. He had a tall white hat with a mournin' weed on't, and a long linen duster, and the wind blowed this out some like a balloon. He looked queer ; but as soon as he stiddied him- self on't he tried his best to reach the side of Selin- da — I'll say that for him. But the donkey wuz obstinate, and kep a-backin' up, and Bizer, bein' his legs dragged, kinder walked along with the donkey under him. Occasionally he would set down for a spell, but the most of his journey wuz done a-walkin' afoot. And the crowd see it and cheered. It wuz hard on Bizer. Nothin' but pride and ambition led him into the undertakin', or kep him up through it. As for me, 1 lost all patience, and my breath, too, and went back to my pardner. And anon or about that time they made their rounds, and come back where Josiah and I stood. I reached up a handkerchief to Selinda as quick 646 SAMANTHA AT THE World's FAIR. as I could, but she couldn't wipe her eyes or tend to her nose until she dismounted, or fix the gapin' kasum at the back of her waist. She greeted me warmly the minit her feet touched terry finny, as one might who had come out of great peril. She's a good-hearted creeter. And between us both, with some pins I took out of my huzzy 1 always carry with me, we fixed her up agin. And if you'll believe it, the very minit I got her pinned up she begun to act high-headed and to boast of how much principle she'd shown. And I said, " You've shown more'n principle, Selinda ; you've showed cotton flannel that you had ort to have kep to yourself. You have made a panorama that can't be described." " Ycs,' r sez she; "it will be sunthin' to tell on all my life." She took it as a compliment Oh dear me suz ! Bizer had scraped the patent leather all offen the toes of his shoes, and had squandered three dollars in money, but he felt good. Yes, they both said what a excitement this adventure would make in Jonesville when they told on't. And I thought to myself, if the Jonesvillians could see jest how she looked, and he too, it would be apt to make a excitement. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 647 How many times did I digest this great truth while on my tower ! How little we know sometimes what a appearance we are a-makin' before men and angels, when we think we are a-doin' sunthin' won- derful ! Wall, Josiah wuz all took aback ; he couldn't seem to bear Bizer's patronizin' ways so well as I could Selinda's. Truly, females learn the lesson well to suffer and be calm. But he acted kinder surly, and proposed that we should go hum ; and bein' tired as a dosr, I gin a willin' consent, and Bizer and Selinda parted from us, their way layin' different from ourn. Wall, that night, after we got back to Miss Plank- ses, I felt all kind o' shook up in spent, and consid- erable as I do when I've cat too hearty, and of too many kinds of food. You know, you mustn't swaller a big meal too quick, or eat too man)' kinds of food when you're tired, or it won't set right on your stomach. I felt real dyspeptic in my mind that night, and 1 felt that I had wandered out of the sweet, level paths of Moderation and Megumness that I love to wander in. But I am a eppisodin', and to resoom. It seemed as if the bed never felt so good to me as it did that night ; and the pillers never felt so soft. 648 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. and quiet, and comfortable. And with a deep sithe of content I went out at once into the Land of Sleep, and bein' too tired to " tread its windin' ways Beyend the reach of busy feet," I sunk down under the shade of a branchin' Poppy Tree, and laid there becalmed and peaceful till Miss Plankses risin' bell rung — way up the stairway, up into my bedroom — and echoed over into the Land, shook the drowsy boughs over my head, and waked me up. And then, tired as I wuz the night before, I felt considerable chipper. CHAPTER XX. Wall, this mornin' we sot off in good season. We would always lay our plans in the mornin', and that mornin' I said, " I would love to tackle the Agri- cultural Buildin'. " And Josiah gin his willin' consent. He said, "After so much gildin' and orniments, he would love to look at a potato, or a rutabagy, or a cow- cumber." And I sez, "If you lay out to git rid of seein' orniments, you had better not stir out of your tracks." And Nony Piddock said, " It sickened a man to see so much vain orniment." And the Twin said, "It wuz perfectly beautiful to see it." And the rest of the boarders bein' agreed jest about as well on't, we set out for the Agricultural Hall in pretty good sperits. Wall, truly did Nony say that the orniments wuz impressive and overwhelmm'. Now, I thought I had seen orniments, and I thought I had seen pillows. 650 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Why, Father Allen had a porch held up by as many as five pillows — holler ones — hoarded round and painted to look like granite stun. And our Meetin'-House steeple wuz, I had al- ways spozed, ornimented. Why, we had gin as high as fourteen dollars for the ornimental work on that steeple, and the Jones- villians, and the Loontowns, and the Zoarites come from fur and near to look at it and admire it, the Jonesvillians in pride and the others in envy, and a-hankerin' to have one like it. But truly our pride in that steeple tottered and fell when we hove in sight of that Agricultural Hall. And when you look at the size of that buildin', and the grandeur of it, you can see plain what sort of a place Agriculture holds in the minds of the world, and how much store folks set on eatin' ; and truly, how could the world git along without it ? It would run right down. Why, imagine, if you can, eight hundred feet one way and five hundred the other way, all orniments and pillows, pillows and orniments, and one big towerin' dome in the centre, and lots of smaller ones, each one topped off with the most beautiful figger, and groups of riggers, you ever laid eyes on. Where wuz Father Allen's pillow, and our stee- C^vsowa^j The Jonesvillians, and the Loontowns, and the Zoarites came from fur and near to admire it. 652 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. pie ? Gone, crushed down under twenty-six hundred feet of clear pillows and orniments. On top of the great central dome stands the beautiful figger of Diana, who had flown away from Madison Square, New York, and had settled down here on purpose to delight the beholders of the United Globe with her beauty and grace. She wuz still a-holdin' her arrows in her hand, still a-turnin' her beautiful face around so everybody could see it, still a-kickin' at the wind with her pretty heel. But, as in the past, so now, let her kick ever so hard, she couldn't turn the wind a mite when it got its mind made up to blow from any particu- lar pint of the compass. And besides this figger on the dome, every little while on the four corners of the buildin' wuz long, low groups of female wimmen a-holdin' garlands, depicterin' the four seasons. And the long line of pillows would be broken by noble piers, with a beautiful group of Aggers on every one on 'em, and some flags a-wavin' out, as if to draw attention to the perfectness of the statutes. One on 'em wuz a good-lookin' man a-holdin' two prancin horses, and I sez to myself, I am glad to see a man a-holdin' the bits for once. But come to look closter, I see that there wuz two figgers — little girls, I guess — that wuz holt of the SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 653 horses' heads. And then I see the man had a sword in one hand and a club in the other. He wuzn't to blame — he couldn't hold 'cm. Jest like Josiah ; lots of times he would be real glad to do things, only his hands are full. And then another group wuz a beautiful female a-standin' up between two great, big, long-horned oxen, a-holdin' them powerful-lookin' beasts with a rope made of posies. Good land ! I wouldn't held 'em with iron chains. They looked so high-headed, and their horns looked so long, and it seemed too bad to put her at such a dangerous job. But she didn't seem to be a mite afraid ; she looked calm, and she had on plenty of store clothes, which wuz indeed a comfort. And then, besides these main piers, with their large, beautiful groups, there wuz fifty-two small- er piers, each one havin' a handsome statute, rep- resentin' winged Geniis, sometimes a-holdin' tablets in their hands, and anon horns of plenty, and abundance. Most of this beautiful sculpture wuz designed by a man named Martiney, French born, but I guess a-callin' himself an American now. And I thought, as I looked at it, I would love to see him, and tell him how well I thought on 654 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. him and his works. He also made the beautiful orniments in the interior of the large rotunda, and the great figger of Ceres that stands in the centre. In the pediment over the main entrance stands another beautiful figger of Ceres — she that wuz Demetor Saturn. I spoze, mebbv, now we ort to call her Miss Jupiter. But, anyway, she is as good-hearted as can be, always a-handin' out grain and food to the peri shin'. Here she stands in the sculpture, which is made by an American, Mr. Mead by name — here she stands, tall and benignant, in the centre of as many as twenty men, wimmen, and children, a-sufferin' from hunger the most on 'em, and she a-handin' out food right and left. What a good creeter she is, anyway ! Wall, mebbv 1 have gin you a faint, a very faint idee of the beauty of the hull twenty-six hun- dred feet of solid loveliness and perfection. But who — who will tell what we see inside on't ? In this buildin' every State in the Union, and almost every civilized nation of the world, is rep- resented with agricultural exhibits, and food prod- ucts in their manufactured state. Prizes will be gin at the end of the Fair to the best. Every nation is shown up here ; and if you have 656 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. got any learnin', you can look it up in your own Gography, and realize the number on 'em, and the immense size of the exhibition. And then there is the most interestin' exhibits in agricultural teachin', Schools and Colleges of different nations, side by side with the best Ameri- can colleges of Agriculture, and Experimental Sta- tions. Here in this exhibit you can see everything eat- able and drinkable, from Jonesville wheat to palm sugar, and all sorts of vegetables that wuz ever seen, and the very biggest ones that wuz ever grown, from a sweet potato to a squash, and peanuts to cocoanuts — And all sorts of animal products, from a ele- phant's tusk, from Africa, to a sleek deacon's skin, from Jonesville. And then, besides the exhibit of raw products of every kind, from Egypt to Shackville, there are shown off all sorts of manufactured foods, and every- thing else, and so forth and so on. If you stay here long enough, say from 2 to 3 months, you can git a good idee of what the world feeds on, from Hindoostan to Loontown and Zoar. Josiah enjoyed himself here richly. He hardly could be torn away. And I took comfort, too, in the dairy, where the SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 657 butter and cheese from the different States is shown off in handsome cases, and kep cool and fresh in dog-days. This wuz, I spoze, to test the merits of the different breeds of dairy cattle, and teach the very best methods of makin' butter and cheese. I took solid comfort here, and I also got some new and useful idees that I could disseminate to Miss Isham, and she that wuz Submit Tewks- bury. As for Philurv, I mean to give her lessons daily (she runs our dairy in my absence). In the annex of this buildin' wuz exhibits of all the Agricultural implements ever known or hearn on, from the first old rickety reaper up to the noble machine of to-day, that will cut the grain, and take out a string and tie it up in sheafs ; and I guess if it wuz encouraged enough, it would take it to the mill and grind it — And the first old cotton-gin and mower up to the finished machines of to-day. Outside this buildin', directly on the lagoon, wuz exhibits of gates, fences, and all sorts of wind-mills, from the picteresque old Dutch mills up to the ones of eighteen hundred and ninety-three. And engines, portable and traction ones. I asked Josiah, "What he spozed a traction engine wuz," and he sez, " One that is tractable — easy to 658 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. manage." Sez he, " Some on 'em, you know, is obstropolos." I don't know whether he got it right or not, but he seemed sure on't, and that is half the battle, so fur as makin' a show is eoneerned, in this world. Jined to this department is a Assembly Hall, on purpose for speakers and orators to disseminate the best and latest idees about agriculture. And, take it all in all, what a boon to Jonesville and the World the hull exhibit is ! It wuz a sight ! Wall, bein' pretty nigh to it — only a little walk acrost a tree-shaded green — I acceded to my pardner's request that I would go with him to the Stock Ex- hibit. He had been before, but I hadn't got round to it. It is sixty-three acres big, forty-four acres under ruff. Think of a house forty-four acres big ! Wall, here we see every live animal that wuz ever seen, from a little trick pony to a elephant, and from a sheep to a camel — a dretful interest- in' exhibit, but noisy. And all kinds of dogs, from a poodle to a mastiff. Why, there wuz one dog there that wuz worth three thousand and seven hundred dollars ; it is the biggest dog in the world. — £^. WL'Z SO BIG THAT IT WUZ FAIRLY SKAIRFUL. 660 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. But I told Josiah that I wouldn't gin a cent for it if I had got to have it round ; it wuz so big that it wuz fairly skairful. Why it weighed about two hun- dred and fifty pounds. It wuz a St. Bernard ; but I told Josiah, " Santi or not, I wouldn't want to meet it alone in the back lane in the evenin'." It would skair a young child into fits to go through this department ; some of them wild creeters look so ferocious, especially the painters, they made my blood fairly curdle. Wall, we stayed here for some time, or until my ear-pans seemed to be ruined for life. And then we had a little time on our hands, and Josiah proposed that we should go out on the water and take a short voyage to rest off. I gin a glad consent, and we sot off. Wall, after bein' on the water a little while, I begun to feel so much rested that I proposed that we should row round to the other end of the park, and pay attention to some of the State Buildin's. " For," sez I, " if the different countries should hear on't that I have been here all this while, with- out payin' 'em any attention, they will feel hurt." And sez I, " I had rather give a cent than to have Great Britain feel hurt, and lots of the rest on 'em. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAN;. 66 1 "And then," sez I, "it hain't right to slight 'em, even if they never heard on't." " Oh, shaw !" sez Josiah, " I guess that they would git along if you didn't go at all ; I guess that they hain't a-sufferin' for company this vear." " But," sez I with dignity, "this is a fur differ- ent thing, and as fur as our own United States Buildin's are concerned, I feel bound to 'em, bein' such a intimate friend to their Father-in-law." " What do you mean ?" sez Josiah. "Why, Uncle Sam," sez I — " U. S. Epluribus Unim." Agin he sez, " Oh, shaw !" But I held firm, and at my request the boat headed that way. And we landed as nigh 'em as we could. You see, all the United States, and most of the Foreign Countries, have a separate buildin', mostly gin up to social and friendly purposes, where natives of that State and country can go in and rest, and recooperate — see some of their friends, and so on, and so forth. Wall, we laid out to pay attention to a lot on 'cm thai daw But, as it tinned out, we didn't go to but jest three on 'em, the reasons of which I will set down, and recapitulate. I felt that we had to go to New York and llli- 662 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. nois. Loyalty and Politeness stood on both sides of ns, a-leadin us to the home of our own native State, and the folks we wuz a-visitin' ; and we found New York a perfect palace, modelled after an Ital- ian one. And the row of green plants a-standin' on the ruff all round made it look real uneek and dretful handsome. And inside it wuz fitted up as luxurious as any palace need to be, with a banquet hall eighty-four feet long and forty-six feet high ; a glow of white, and gold, and red, and crystal. Yes, the hull house wuz pleasant and horsepitable, as become the dwellin' place of the Empire State. And Illinois ! You might know what you'd expect to find inside, when you see what they had outside on't. That statute, " Hide and Seek," before the en- trance, wuz, I do believe, the very best thing I see to the hull Fair — Five little children with merry, laughin' faces a-playin' at hide and seek in a broken gray old stump, and flowers, and vines, and mosses a-runnin' round it and over it as nateral as life. Wall, I stood before that beautiful object till Josiah had to draw me away from it almost by main force. But inside it come my time to draw him away. When we see that picter of the old farm made in SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 663 seeds, he wuz as rooted to the spot as if he intended to remain sot out there, and grow up with the State. And it wuz a ■fretful interestin' sight — the farm- house, the barns, the well, the old windmill, the long fields a-stretehin' back, and fenced off, with different crops on 'cm, the good-lookin' men and wimmen, and the horses, with their glossy hides and silky manes and tails, and all made of different kinds of seeds and grasses. It wuz a sight to see the crowd that stood before that from mornin' till night, and vmi ask ten folks what impress- ed 'em the most at the Fair, and more'n half on 'em would most likely say that it wuz that seed picter in the Illinois Buildin'. Over one side on't wuz draped sunthin' that I took to he the very richest silk or velvet, all fringed out with a dee}) fringe on the end on't. But it wuz all made of grasses of different kinds — the idee ! Fifteen young ladies of He wuz CL- OUTED TO THE SPOT. 664 SAMANTIIA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. Illinois made that, and they done first-rate. I want 'em to know what I think on't, and what Josiah duz. Wall, inside the buildin' wuz full and runnin' over with beautiful objects — lovely picters, noble statuary, beautiful works of art and industry done by the sons and daughters of the State. It would take more'n a week to do any justice to it. Illinois done splendid. I want her to know how 1 appreciated it. She'll be glad to know how riz up I felt there. Wall, when we left there we had a little dialogue — not mad exactly, but earnest. I wanted to go and see Great Britain, and Josiah wanted to go to Vermont (he has got a third cousin a-livin' there, and he wanted to see him). "Wall," sez I, "we've got a mother to tend to; the Mother Country calls for a little filial attention." "Oh, shaw !" sez he; "I guess you feel more related than they do ; and," sez he, " I shall go to Vermont. Mebbv I shall meet Bildad Allen right there in the settin'-room." So there it wuz — we wuz both determined. I see by my companion's mean that it wouldn't do to insist on Great Britain. But a woman hates to give in awful. So I sug- gested makin' a compromise on California. And he agreed to it. He, too, had seen a look of 666 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. marble determination on my mean, and he dassent press the Vermont question too hard. So we directed our steps towards the California Buildin'. It is a exact reproduction of the old Monastery of San Diego, and one hundred thou- sand square feet is the size on't. It is full of the products of California. Sech fruit and flowers I never see, and don't expect to agin. The flowers wuz gorgeous, and perfectly beautiful, and I spoze, though I don't really want to twit 'em of it, yet 1 do spoze they brought every mite of fruit out of California for this occasion. I don't spoze there wuz a orange left there, or a grape, nor any- thing else in the line of fruit. Mebby there might a been one or two green oranges left, but I doubt it. And as for canned and dried fruit, I don't spoze there wuz a teacupful left in the hull State. Why, jest think of the dried prunes it must have took to make that horse that wuz rared up there seven feet from the floor ! And wuzn't that horse a sight to see? — jest as nateral as though he wuz made of flesh instead of fruit. I hearn, but mebby it come from some of their own folks — but I hearn that California had the best exhibits of all kinds of any of the States. But I SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 66/ wouldn't want it told from me. I don't want to git thirty or forty States mad as a hen at me ; the States are dretful touchy, anyway, in the matter of State Rights and pride. But the show wuz impressive — dretful. This houSe wuz built, I spoze, in honor of Spain, like a old Spanish Mission Buildin' ; and up in the towers which rise up on the four corners are belfrys, in which are some of (lie old Spanish hells, that still ring out and eall to prayers, when the good old Fathers that used to hear 'em, and the Injun converts, generations and generations of 'em, have slept so sound that the hells can't wake 'em. And the bells still swing out over this restless and ambitious generation, and they will swing and eeho jest the same when we too have gone to sleep, and sleep sound. Oueer, hain't it, that a little dead lump of metal should outlive the beatin' human heart — the active, outreachin' human life, with its world-wide activities and Heaven-high aspiration ? Rut so it is ; generations and generations are horn, live, and die, and the old bells, a-takin' life easy, jest swing on, and ring out jest as sweet and calm and kinder careless at our death as at our birth. The hells sounded dretful melancholy and heart achin' to me ; that day they seemed to he soundin' 668 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. a requiem clear from California to Jonesville for the good Man who had passed away. Jest as we went down the steps we hearn a bystander a-tellin' another one " that Leland Stan- ford wuz dead." And I wuz fearful rousted up about it ; I felt like death to hear on't ; and to think that I never had a chance to tell him what I thought on him. I was fearful agitated, and almost by the side of myself ; but jest at that juncture — jest as I sez to Josiah, " I shouldn't felt so bad if I had had a chance to tell him what 1 thought on him, and en- courage him in his noble doin's, and warn him in one or two things" — jest at that minit, sez Josiah, " I've lost my bandanny handkerchief ;" and he told me, "To wait there for him, that he thought that he remembered where he had dropped it — back in a antick room in the back part of the house." And I thought more'n like as not that wuz the last I should see of him for hours and hours, the crowd wuz so immense and the search wuz so on- certain. But it wuz a good new handkerchief — red and yeller, with a palm-tree pattern on it — and I couldn't discourage him from huntin' for it. And jest as he turned to go back, he sez — "Why, if there hain't Deacon Rogers of Loon* town !" SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 669 And he advanced onto a good-lookin' man, who wuz a-standin' some distance off. My pardner put out his hand and stepped forward with a glad face till he got to within three feet of him, and then his gladness died out, and he looked meachin'. It wuzn't Rogers. And my pardner jest turned on his tracks, and disappeared round the buildin.' A bystander who wuz a-standin' by spoke up and sez : "That is Governor Markham, of California." " Why'ee !" sez I, "is that so ?" and then the thought come to me that the pityin' Providence that had removed Senator Stanford from my en- couragement, and warnin', had throwed this man in my way. I see in a minit what would be expected of me both by the nation and by my own Gardeen Angel of Duty. I must encourage him bv tellin' him what I thought of the noble doin's of one of his folks, and I must warn him on a few things, and git him to turn round in his tracks. So I advanced, and accosted him. He was a-standin' out a little ways to one side a-lookin' up to the handsome front of the house, and I sez to him, in a voice nearly tremblin' with emo- tion — 670 SAMANTHA AT THE World's FAIR. " I have wanted to tell you, Governor Markham, how I feel, and how Josiah feels." lie turned round and looked kinder surprised, hut good-natered, and T see then that he wuz a real good-lookin' man, and sex he " Who is Josiah ?" And I sez, "My own pardner. T am Josiah Allen's Wife." And as I sez this, bein' very polite, I kinder bowed my head, and he kinder bowed his head too. \\Y appeared real well, both on us. And sez I, " We feel it dretful, the passin' away and expirin' of one of your folks." And sez he, " You allude to Senator Stanford?" And I sez, "Yes ; when I think of that noble school of hisen that he has sot up there in your great State — the finest school in the world for poor boys and poor girls, as well as rich ones — when I think what that great educational power is a-goin' to do for the children of this great country, rich and poor, I think on him almost by the side of Christopher Columbus. For if Christopher discov- ered a new world, Senator Stanford wuz a-takin' the youth of this country into a new realm — a-sailin' em out into a new world, and a grander one than they'd any idee on — a-sailin' 'em out on the great ship of his magnificent Charity ; and that Ship," sez I, in a kind of a tremblin' voice, " wuz wafted SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 67 1 out at first on the sombre wings of a heart-breakin' sorrow ; but they grew white," sez I — " they grew silver white as that great Ship sailed on and on. "And up through the cloudless blue overhead I believe an angel looks down smilin'ly and lovin'ly on what has been done, and what is a-doin' now that youth whose tender heart, while he walked with man, wuz so tender and compassionate to the poor, and so wise to help "em." 1 he Governor showed plain in his good-lookin' faee how deeply he felt what T said, and I hastened to add " I wanted to thank him who is gone for this great and noble work ; and as he has passed on be- vend this world's praise, or blame, I want to tell you about it, seein' that you're at the head of the family. " 1 speak," sez T, " in the name of Jonesville !" " Whose name ?" sez he. And I sez, " My own native land, Jonesville, nigh to Loontown, seven milds from Zoar." "Oh !" sez he. "Yes," sez I, "Jonesville wuz proud of hisdoin's, and she thinks a sight of California. " But in one thing she feels bad : she don't want California to make so much wine ; she wishes you'd stop it. " She's proud of your fruit, your flowers, your big 6j2 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. trees, and other products, but she wishes you'd stop makin' so much wine. Jonesville wouldn't care if you made a couple of quarts for sickness or jell, but she feels as if she couldn't bear to see you swing out and make so much." Sez I, " Jonesville and I want you to stop makin' it — we want you to like dogs." And then sez I, in still firmer axents, " It hain't a-settin' a good example to the schoolchildren in Palo Alto and the United States." He looked real downcasted and sad, some as if he'd never thought on't in that light before. He didn't really promise me, but I presoom to say that he won't never make another drop. But his face looked dretful deprested. I see that he felt it deeply to think I had found fault with him. But to resoom. Sez I — for here my gardeen angel hunched me hard and told me that here wuz a chance to do good — mebby the Governor could carry out the wishes of him that wuz gone — sez I, " Another great thing that Jonesville and I approve of wuz Senator Stanford's bill about lendin' money." Sez I, " There never wuz a better bill brought be- fore America, and if Uncle Sam don't pass it, he hain't the old man I think he is. "For," sez I, "jest take the case of Jim Widrig alone ; that would pay for the trouble of passin' it. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 6?$ " He has got a big farm of more'n two hundred acres, but the land is all run down — he can't raise nothin' on it hardly, it needs enrichin' so ; he hain't no stock, and, as he often sez, ' If I should run in debt for 'em, we should soon be landed in the Poor- House.' He's got a wife and seven boys. "Wall, now if he could only bony 2000 dollars of Uncle Sam, and only pay forty dollars a year for it — why, they would be jest made. "They could put on twenty young cows on the place, two good horses, and go right on to suc- cess, for Jim is hard-workin', and Mahala Widrig is one of the best hard-workin' wimmen in the precincks of Jonesville, and I don't believe she has got a second dress to her back." The Governor murmured sunthin' about a en- gagement he had. He looked worried and anx- ious, but I and my Gardeen Angel hadn't no idee of lettin' him go while there wuz a chance for us to plead for the Right. And I hastened to say, " Uncle Sam needn't be 'fraid of lendin' money on that farm, for it is there solid, clear down to China ; it can't run away." The Governor kinder moved off a little, as if med- itatin' flight, and I spoke up some louder, bein' de- termined to do all I could for Mahala Widrig — good, honest, hard-workin' creeter. 6/4 A.MAXTIIA A: WORLD S 1 AIR. Sez I, "It will be the makin' of Jim Widrigses folks and more'n fifty others right there round Jones- ville, to say nothin' about the hull of the United States ; and it will be money in Uncle Sam's pocket, tot), in the end, and he will own up to me that it is." The Governor here took out his watch and looked at it almost onbeknown to me, 1 wuz so took up a-talkin' for Justice and Ma- hala. Sez I, " This bill will bring money into Unele Samuel's pock- et in the end, for it will keep the boys to hum on the old farm." Sez I, "It is Poverty that has clriv the boys off — hard work, high taxes, and ruinous mortgages drives to the city lots of 'em, to add to the pauper and criminal classes— -bovs that Uncle Sam might have kep to hum by the means 1 speak of, to grow up into sober, respectable, prosperous citizens, a strength and a safeguard to the Republic, but whom he now will have to support in prisons and almshouses, a danger and menace to the Goverment. " Poor Uncle Sam ! — poor, well-meanin', but oft The Governor took WATCH. SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. 675 misguided old erector! It would be easier for him, if he only knew it, to do what Mr. Stanford wanted him to. " Besides, think of the masses of fosterin' crime he would be a-pressin' back and a-turnin' into good, {Hire influences to bless the world ! And besides, the oncounted gain to Heaven and earth ! Uncle Sam would git the two-cent mortgages back a dozen times in the increase of taxable property." The Governor murmured agin that he wuz want- ed to once, in a distant part of the citv — he must start for California imegatlv, and on the next train. Sez he incoherently, " That school wuz about to open ; he must be to the University to once." lie wuz nearly delirious — I spoze he wuz nearly overcome by my remarkable eloquence, but don't know. But as he sot off, a-movin' backward in a polite way but swift, entirely onbeknown to him he come up aginst a big tree, and with a hopeless look of resignation he leaned up aginst it, while I, a-feelin' that Providence had interfered to give me another chance at him, advanced onwards, and sez to him in a real eloquent way, "That bill will do more than any amount of beggin', or jawin', or preachin', tow- ards keepin' the boys to hum on the old deserted farms that are so thick in the country ; and," sez 1, 6/6 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. " now that bill has fell out of his hands, 1 want you to take it up and pass it on to sueeess." Sez I, " Let Uncle Sam and you go out, as 1 have, in the country byroads in Jonesville, and Loontown, and Zoar, and you'll both gin in that I'm a-tellin' the truth." Sez I, "If it hain't a pitiful sight in one short mornin's ride to go by more'n a dozen of them poor deserted old homes, as I have many a time, and I spoze they lay jest as thick scattered all over the State and country as they do round Jones- ville." Sez I, " To see them old brown ruffs a-humpin' themselves up jest as lonesome-lookin' and cold — no smoke a-comin' out of the chimblys to cheer 'em up — to see the bare winders a-facin' the west, and no bright eyes a-lookin' out, nor curly locks for the sunlight to git tangled in — to see the poor old door-step a-settin' there alone, as if a-tellin' over its troubles to the front gate, and that a-creakin' back to it on lonesome nights or cold, fair mornin's — " And the old well-sweep a-pintin' up into the sky overhead, as if a-callin' Heaven to witness that it wuzn't to blame for the state of things — " And the apple trees, with low swingin' branches, with no bare brown feet to press on 'em on the way up to the robin's nest overhead — empty barns, ^0 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLDS FAIR. 6 77 ruins, weedy gardens, long, lonesome stretches of paster and medder lands — " Why, if Uncle Sam could look on sech sights, and have me right by him to tell him the reason on't — to tell him that two thousand dollars lent on " If Uncle Sam could have me right by him to tell him the reason. " easy interest would turn every one of them worth- less, decayin' pieces of property into beautiful, flour- ishin', prosperous homes, he'd probable feel different about passin' the bill from what he duz now — "When 1 told him that most generally out be- hind the barn, and under the apple trees and gam- 6/8 SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. brul ruff, wuz crouchin' the monster that had sapped the life out of the hum — the bloated, misshapen form of a mortgage at six per cent, and that old, in- satiable monster had devoured and drinked down every cent of the earnin's that the hull family could bring to appease it with — "It would open its snappin' old jaws and swaller 'em all down, and then set down refreshed but un- appeased to wait for the next earnin's to be brung him. ''Wall, now, if they could pay off that mortgage, and git rid of it, they could walk over its prostrate form into prosperity ; they could afford to lighten up the bare poverty of a country farm, so repellin' to the young, with some touches of brightness. Books, music, good horses, carriages would preach louder lessons of content to the children than any they would hear from their pa's or ma's or minis- ters. " They would love their hums — would make them yield, instead of ruin and depressin' influences, a good income to themselves, and good tax-payin' property to help Uncle Sam — " Decrease vice, increase virtue — lead away from prisons and almshousen, lead toward meetin'-hous- en, and the halls of justice, mebby. For in the highest places of trust and honor in the United SAMANTHA VF THE WORLD S FAIR. 679 States to-day is to he found the sons and daughters of country homes." Here, at jest this juncture, my umhrell felloul of my hand, and it hrunsf mv eyes down to earth aefin ; for sometime, entirely onbeknown to me, I had been a-lookin' up into the encirclin' heavens, and a-soarin' round there in oratory. But as my eyes fell onto the Governor, I no- ticed the extreme weariness and mute agony on his liniment ; he picked up my umhrell and handed it to me, and sez he, a-speakin' fast and agitated, as if in fear of sunthin' or rather : — " Your remarks are truly eloquent, and I believe every word on 'em ; but," sez he, " I have an engage- ment of nearly life and death ; I must leave you," and he sot off nearly on a run. And I spread mv umbrell and walked off with composure and dignity to tackle the next buildin', which wuz Oregon. But my pardner jined me at that minit with his handkerchief held triumphantly in his hand. And at his earnest request we didn't examine clost any of the State buildin's — that is, we didn't go in and look 'em over ; but, from the outside view, we had a high opinion on 'em. They wuz beautiful and extremely gorgeous, some on 'em. 6SO SAMANTHA AT THE WORLD'S FAIR. And they looked real good, too, and wuz com- fortable inside, I hain't a doubt on't. I felt bad not to pay attention to every State jest as they come, and I know that they'll feel it if they ever hear on't. But, as Josiah said, there wuz so many to pay at- tention to 'em, that they wouldn't mind so much as if they wuz more alone and lonely. Wall, Josiah felt as if he'd got to have a bite of sunthin' to eat, and so we sot off at a pretty good jog for the nearest restaurant, and there we got a good lunch, and after we had done eatin', and Josiah wuz in a real good frame of mind, to all human appearance, I sez, " I'm a-goin' to see Hatye, if I don't see nothin' else." And Josiah sez, "Where is Hatye?" And I sez, " Not but a little ways from the German Buildin'." And sez he, "Who is Hatye, anyway?" And 1 sez, " Hatye is one of the first islands that Columbus discovered, and it ort to take a front rank in his doin's, and for lots of other reasons, too," sez 1. " It is there that we sec the exhibit of our colored men and bretheren." We found Hatye a good-lookin' buildin', a story and a half high, with a good-lookin' dome a-risin' out of the centre. QKavis. " It abounds in mingled humor, pathos and inexorable common sense." — Will Carleton. " It is exceedingly entertaining." — OX^cw York Observer. SWEET CICELY; Or, Josiah Allen as a Politician. A Fascinating Story. Square 121110, 390 pp. Cloth, $2.00. " The interest of the book is intense. . . . Never was such a defender of woman's rights, never was such an exponent of woman's wrongs 1 In Samantha's pithy, pointed, scornful utterances we have in very truth the expression of feelings common to most thoughtful women, well understood among them, but rarely finding voice except in confidential intercourses and for sympathetic ears. Other women besides poor Cicely, and warm-hearted, clear-headed Saman- tha, and ' humble ' Dorlesky eat their hearts out over the injustice of laws that they have no hand in making, andean have no hand in altering, though ruin and agony arc their result. . . . It would be impossible to find in literature anything more pitiful than this story of the struggle of a gentle-natured woman against the dangers which surround her child, and lier agony as she realizes her helplessness to avert evil from her fellow-sufferers. If it were not for the strong vein of humor which lightens up the darkest passages, the interest would be too painful. But Saman- tha intervenes with her quaint epigrams and keen-witted analysis, and lo, a smile broadens be- fore the tear has dried ! . . . Alongside of the fun are genuine eloquence and profound pathos ; we scarcely know which is the more delightful." — The Literary World, London, Eng. FUNK & WAGNALLS COMPANY PUBLISHERS LONDON NEW YORK TORONTO