THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA THE COLLECTION OF NORTH CAROLINIANA ENDOWED BY JOHN SPRUNT HILL CLASS OF 1889 CB J13s9-a 1 ^7 - M UNIVERSITY OF N.C. AT CHAPEL HILL 00031717090 Wl FOR USE ONLY IN ^-^-^^^B! THE NORTH CAROLINA COLLECTION f \ frCv \ A LIFE AND WRITINGS OF ©( 13otoninflbiU«, AWAY DOWN EAST IN THE STATE OF MAINE. WEITTEN BY HIMSELF. What makes all doctrines plain and clear? About two hundred pounds a year. And that which was proved true before, Prove false again ? Two hundred more.' HUDIBRAS. s. THIRD EDITION. BOSTON: LILLY, WAIT, COL MAN, & HOLDER. 1834. Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1833, By Lilly, Wait, Colman, & Holden, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of JNIassachusettg. STKRF.OTTPED BY LYMAX THUi BOSTON. N GINERAL ANDREW JACKSON, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED, BY HIS FAITHFUL FRIEND AND nu:WBLE SERVANT, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. PREFACE. Arter I got my book all done, and had looked it over every day as the prmter went along with it, till I got clear to the last page, so as to see it was done right, the printer comes to me, and says he, we want a Preface now. A preface! says I, what in nater is that? Why, says he, it is something to fill up the two first pages with. But, says I, aint the two first pages filled up yet? I thought we had jest got through the last page; I hope our cake aint all turn- ing to dough again. O, it's all right, says he, we always print the first pages last; all we want now is the preface, to fill up them are two first pages. Well, says I, but this is a pretty curious piece of business, this duin work backwards. I've hearn tell that Freemasons when they build their chimneys, begin at the top and work down, and that's what's got the Anti Masons so mad about it, that they are going to tear 'em all up, root and branch; but I never knew afore that folks printed the first end of a book last. But now, says I, Mr. printer, if I've got to make this ere preface that you tell about, what must I put into it? O, says he, you must tell 'em something about the book; how you come to make it, and what's in it, and what it's good for, and the like of that. X PREFACE. Well, says I, if that's all, I guess I can work it out in short metre. In the first place then, I made the book because I couldn't help it; if I hadn't made it, I dont believe but what I should have split. And in the next place, I made it so as to get my letters all together, out of the way of the rascally counterfeits, so that folks might know the good eggs from the rot- ten ones. And about these counterfeits, I see the New York Daily Advertiser says they are going to print a book of the counterfeit letters somewhere there or at Philadelphia. All I have to say about it is, they are welcome to print as many letters as they are a mind to, if they will only jest put their own names to 'em. But he that will print his letters and put my name to 'em, I think would steal a sheep. And in the next place, as to what is in the book, I gupss folks will find that out fast enough, without my telling them. • And in the last place, as to what it is good for, it will tell folks more about politics, and how to get offices, than ever they knew before in all their lives; and what is the best ont, it will be pretty likely to get me in to be President. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. Boston, Nov. 14, 1833. CONTENTS. MY LIFE. In which I tell considerable more about my Grandfather, than I do about myself, Page 19 MY LETTERS. Together with a few from Cousin Nabby, and Uncle Joshua, and Cousin Ephraim, and so on ; containing a pretty considera- ble account of my public life, from Jinuary 1830, to November 1833, 41 Letter L— In which Mr. Downing tells about choosing Speak- er, 41 Letter II.— In which Mr. Downing tells about poor Mr. Roberts' having to stand up, 46 Letter III. — In which Cousin Nabby advises Mr. Downing to come home, 49 Letter IV. — In which Uncle Joshua tells how he went to Bos- ton, and took dinner with the Gineral Court, 51 Extracts from the Portland Courier, 58 Letter V. — In which Mr. Downing tells what a hobble the Legislature got into, in trying to make so many Governors, 61 Letter VI. — In which Mr. Downing describes a sad mishap that befell the House of Representatives, 64 Letter VII. — In which affairs take a more favorable turn, 65 Letter VIIL— In which Mrs. Downing urges her son to come home, 66 Letter IX.— In which Mr. Downing tells about trigging the wheels of government, 67 Letter X.— In which Mr. Downing advises his Uncle Joshua to hold on to his bushel of corn, because the Legislature had begun ' to rip up their duins,' 71 Letter XL— In which Mr. Downing describes some qaeer duins in the Senate. ^ 73 Xll CONTENTS. Letter XII. — In which Mr. Downing hits upon a new idea for making money out of the office-seekers that were swarming round tlie new Governor, 76 Letter XIII. — Cousin Ephraim in trouble, 77 Letter XIV. — In which 3Ir. Downing describes a severe tug at the wheels of government, 78 Letter XV.-^In which Mr. Downing tells what it means to set up a candidate for office, 80 Letter XVI. — In which Mr. Downing tells how the Legisla- ture cleared out, and how Elder Hall went home, 83 Letter XVII. — In w^hich Mr. Downing hints to Uncle Joshua that he has a prospect of being nominated for Governor, 85 Letter XVIII. — In which Uncle Joshua discovers remarkable skill in the science of politics, and advises Mr. Downing by all means to stand as a candidate for Governor, 8d Letter XIX. — In which Mr. Downing gives his opinion about newspapers, 91 Letter XX. — In which Mr. Downing tells how to distinguish one republican party from another, 93 Grand Caucus at Downingville, 95 Letter XXI. — In which Mr. Downing tells about the Portland Town-meeting, 100 Letter XXII.— Return of votes from Downingville, 103 Letter XXIII. — In which Mr. Downing hits on a new plan to get an office, 104 Letter XXIV. — In which Cousin Sarah compares the Society of Portland with that of Downingville, 105 Letter XXV. — In which Mr. Downing tells how Cousin Jehu went to the Legislature, and had to go back after his primy facy case, 107 Letter XXVI. — In wliich Cousin Nabby describes the temper- ance of Downingville, 110 Letter XXVII. — In which Mr. Downing gives a description of the Ladies' Fair, 112 Letter XXVIII.— In which Mr. Downing tells how the Jack- CONTENTS. XUl sonites in the Legislature had a dreadful tussle to pour a ' heal- ing act, down the the throats of the Huntonites, 121 Letter XXIX.— In which Mr. Downing tells how the Jack- sonites at last got the ' healing act ' down the throats of the Huntonites, ^'^ Letter XXX.— In which Mr. Downing dreams some poetry, Letter XXXI.— In which Mr. Downing tells how he got a new kink into his head, in consequence of the blow-up of Pres- ident Jackson's first Cabinet, 133 Letter XXXIL— In which Cousin Sarah tells about Cousin Jack's toes and elbows, 1"^^ Letter XXXIII.— In which Mr. Downing tells about the talk he had with the Boston Editors on his way to Washington, 137 Letter XXXIV.— In which Mr. Downing relates his interview with Major Noah, 141 Letter XXXV.— In which Mr. Downing tells how he stript up his sleeves and defended Mr. Ingham on his front door steps during the after-clap that followed the blow-up of the Cabinet, 14^ Letter XXXVL— In which Cousin Ephraim tells about the persecution of poor Mrs. No-tea, 150 Letter XXXVII.— Mr. Downing receives a Captain's com- mission in the United States' Army, with orders to go and protect the inhabitants of Madawaska, 15^ Letter XXXVIII.— In which Capt. Downing describes his return to Downingville, after an absence of two years, 157 Letter XXXIX.— Capt. Downing's first Military Report to the President, 159 Letter XL.— Capt. Downing visits the Legislature of Maine again, 1°^ Letter XLL— Progress of proceedings in the Legislature, 165 Letter XLIL— Capt. Downing is suddenly called to his com- pany at Madawaska, 1"' Letter XLITL— Capt. Downing returns to Augusta. The value of a bear-skin, 1^" Letter XLIV.— In which Capt. Downing tells about the Leg- islature's making Lawyers, I'^l Xiv CONTENTS. Letter XLV. — Capt. Downing is in a peck of trouble about the Legislature's selling Madawaska to the General Govern- ment to be given up to the British, and sits down and figures up the price, 173 Letter XLVL — Capt. Downing declines the office of Mayor of Portland, 177 Letter XLVIL — In which Capt. Downing relates a confiden- tial conversation with President Jackson, while on a journey to Tennessee, 178 Letter XLVIIL — In which Capt. Downing runs an Express from Baltimore to Washington, and foots it through Pennsyl- vany Avenue to the President's House, 18J Letter XLIX. — In which Capt. Downing receives a Major's commission, and is appointed to march against the Nulli- fiers, 186 Letter L. — In which Uncle Joshua tells what a tussle they had in Downingville to keep the Federalists from praising the President's Proclamation against the Nullifiers, 189 Letter LI. — In which Major Downing describes the arrival of Sargent Joel, with the Company, at Washington, 192 Letter LII. — In which Major Downing gives his opinion about Nullification, and illustrates it with a lucid example, 195 Letter LIII. — In which Cousin Ephraim tells the Major how matters get along at Augusta, and gives a specimen of the value of political promises, 197 Letter LIV. — In which Major Downing goes up top the Con- gress house and listens to see if he can hear the guns in South Carolina, and also has a talk with the President about the slander of the newspapers, 200 Letter LV. — In which Cousin Ephraim explains the science of hand speculation^ 202 Letter LVI. — In which Major Downing tells how Mr. Clay put a stop to that fuss in South Carolina, besides hushing up some other quarrels, 205 Letter LVII. — In which Major Downing gives the result of a consultation amongst the Government on the question, whether the President should shake hands with the Federalists during his journey down East, 208 CONTENTS. XV Letter LVIII. — In which Major Downing d 'ends the Presi- dent from the assault of Lieut. Randolph on ooard the steam- boat Cygnet, 210 Letter LIX. — In which Major Downing shakes hands for the President at Philadelphia, while on the grand tour down East, 212 Letter LX. — In which the President and Major Downing have a very narrow escape at the breaking down of the bridge in New York, 214 Letter LXI. — In which Major Downing describes the visit of the President at Boston, and also complains of the rascally counterfeiters that write letters in his name for the news- papers, 218 Letter LXII. — In which the President and the rest of 'em' turn a short corner at Concord and set their faces towards Washington, 221 Letter LXIII. — In which Cousin Nabby describes the unutter- able disappointment at Downingville because the President didn't come, and tells what a terrible pucker Ant Keziah was in about it, 222 Nomination of Major Downing for the Presidency, 226 Letter LXIV. — In which Major Downing tells about going to Cambridge and making the President a Doctor of Laws, 227 Letter LXV.— In which Major Downing tells about the quarrel that he and Mr. Van Buren had at Concord, after they went up chamber to bed ; and also declares his intention to run for the Presidency, 231 Letter LXVI. — In which Cousin Ephraim describes the me- thod of putting ' dimocrats' over on to the federal side, 239 Letter LXVII. — In which the President begun to say some- thing about vie and Daniel, 241 Letter LXVIII. — In which the President finished what he was going to say about me and Daniel, 247 Letter LXIX. — In which Cousin Nabby describes her visit to Mr. Maelzel's Congregation of Moskow, 2ol Letter LXX. — In which Major Downing concludes it is best to put some of his poetry into his book, 253 Major Downing's biography of Sam Patch, 255 CONTENTS. Letter LXXI. — In which Major Downing tells the President about his book and the pictures in it, and prevents a bobbery in the Seriate chamber. 254 APPENDIX. In which are published some of Major Downing's letters, that he never wrote, "26S No. I. — Being the genuine letter of old Mr. Zophar Downing, ' amost eighty three yere old,' 271 No. II.— The Bank Report, 272 No. III. — Giving some account of Peleg Bissel's Churn, 277 No. IV. — The public crib at Washington, 280 No. V. — Preparation of the Message, 284 No. VI. Sir George Downing, 286 7 hi which I tell considerable more about my Grand- father, than I do about Myself. Whex we read about great men, we always want to knov/ something about the place where they live; therefore I shall begin my history with a short ac- count of Downing ville, the place where I was born and brought up. Downingville is a snug, tidy sort of a village, sit- uated in a valley about two miles long, and a mile and a half v/ide, scooped out between tv/o large rug- ged hills that lie to the east and west, having a thick forest of trees to the north, and a clear pond of water, •v/ith a sandy beach, to the south. It is about three miles from the main road as you go back into the country, and is jest about in the middle of down east. It contains by this time a pretty considerable number of inhabitants, though my grandfather Downing was the first person that settled there, jest after he got back from sogering in the revolutionary war. It has a school Jiouse, and a tavern, and a minister, and a doctor, and a blacksmith, and a shoe-maker, and folks that work at most all sorts of trades. They have n't got any meetin house up yet, but the school house is pretty large and does very well to hold meetins in, and they have meetins very regular every Sunday, the men filling up all the seats on one side of the school house and the women on the other. 20 LIFE OF They have n't got any lawyer in Downingville ; there was one come once and sot out to settle there, and hired a room and put a sign up over the door with his name on it, and the word office in great large letters, so big you could read 'em clear across the road. A meeting of the inhabitants was called at the school house the next day, and after chawing the matter over awhile, it was unanimously agreed if the man wanted an office he should go somewhere else for it, for as for having an office-seeker in Downingville they never would. So they voted that he should leave the town in twenty-four hours, or they would take him down to the pond and duck him, and ride him out of town on a rail. A committee of twenty of the stoutest men in Downingville was appointed to carry the message to him, at which he prudently took the hint, and packed up and cleared out that afternoon. All the quarrels, and disputes and law-cases are al- ways left out to uncle Joshua Downing, and he settles them all, by and large, at two shillings apiece, except where they have come to blows, and then he charges two and sixpence apiece. The land in Downingville is most capital rich land, and bears excellent crops. I would 'nt pretend to say it 's equal to some land I've hearn tell of away oft' in Ohio, where the corn grows so tall they have to go up on a ladder to pick the ears oft*; and where a boy fell into the hole that his father had dug a beet out of, and they had to let down a bed-cord to draw him up again; and where pigs are so plenty that they run about the farms ready roasted, and some of 'em with knives and forks in their backs for any body who wants to eat. I wouldn't pretend that Downingville is any such sort of a place as that; but this I do say, he that is diligent and will plant his potatoes and corn early, and hoe them well, may always get a good crop, and live above board. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 21 As I said afore, my grandfather, old Mr. Zebedee Downing, was the first settler in Downingville. Bless his old heart, he's living yet, and although he is eighty-six years old, he attended a public caucus for the good of his country about two years ago, and made a speech, as you will find somewhere before you get through this book, where it tells about my being nominated for Governor of the State of Maine. As it is the fashion, in writing the lives of great folks, to go back and tell something about their pos- terity, I spose I ought to give some account of my good old grandfather, for he was a true patriot, and as strong a republican as ever uncle Joshua was. He was born somewhere in the old bay State away back of Boston, and when the revolutionary war come on he went a sogering. Many and many a time, when I was a little boy, I've sot on the dye-pot in the cor- ner till most midnight to hear him tell over his going through the fatigue of Burgivine. If one of the neigh- bors came in to chat awhile in an evening, my grand- father was always sure to go through with the fatigue of Burgwine ; and if a stranger was travelling through Downingville and stopt at my grandfather's in a warm afternoon to get a drink of water, it was ten chances to one if he could get away till my grandfather had been through the whole story of the fatigue of Burg- wine. He used to tell it the best to old Mr. Johnson, who used to come in regularly about once a week to spend an evening and drink a mug of my grandfather's cider. And he would set so patiently and hear my grandfather through from beginning to end, that I never could tell v/hich took the most comfort, Mr. Johnson in drinking the cider, or my grandfather in going through the fatigue of Burgwine. After Mr. Johnson had taken about two or three drinks he would smack his lips, and says he, I guess, Mr. Downing, you would have been glad to get such a mug of cider as this in the battle of Burgv/ine. Why yes, said my 22 LIFE OF grandfather, or when we was on the march from Cambridge to Peekskill either, or from Peekskill to Albany, or from Albany to Saratogue, where we went through the fatigue of Burg wine. Old Schyler was our gineral, said my grandfather, bracing himself back in his chair, and he turned out to be a traitor, and was sent for, to go to Gineral Washington to be court- martialed. Then gineral Gates was sent to us to take the command, and he was a most capital officer every inch of him. He had his cocked hat on, and his regimentals, and his furbelows on his shoulders, and he looked nobly, said my grandfather. I can see him now as plain as if 'twas yesterday. He wore a plaguy great stub cue, as big as my wrist, sticking out at the back of his neck as straight as a handspike. Well, when Gates came we were all reviewed, and every thing was put in complete order, and he led us on, ye see, to take Burgwine. By daylight in the morning we were called out by the sound of the drum, and drawn up in regiments, and the word was, ' on your posts, march.' And there we stood marching on our posts without moving forward an inch; heads up, looking to the right; we did n't'dare to move an eye, nor hardly to wink. By and by along comes the old Gineral to inspect us, riding along so stately, and that old stub cue stick- ing out behind his head so straight, it seems as though I can see him now right here before me. And then he addressed us, like a father talking to his children. Fellow soldiers, says he, this day we are going to try the strength of Burgwine's forces; now let every man keep a stiff* upper lip, go forward boldly and attack them with courage, and you 've nothing to fear. O, he addressed us completely; and then we marched off to meet the inemy. By and by we begun to hear the balls whizzing over our heads, and the incmy's guns begun to roar like thunder. I felt terribly for a minute or two, but we kept marching up, marching up, said MAJOR JACK DOWMiN'G. 23 my grandfather, rising and marching across the floor, for we had orders not to fire a gun till we got up so near we could almost reach 'em with our bagonuts; and there was a hundred drums all in a bunch rat- tlino; enouDfh to craze a nation, and the fifes and the bugles, continued my grandfather, still marching across the floor, went tudle, tudle, tudle, tudle — O, I can hear that very tune ringing in my ears now, as plain as if 'twas yesterday, and I never shall forget it to my dying day. When we got up so near the inemy that we could fairly see the white of their eyes, the word was ' halt,' said my grandfather, sud- denly halting in the middle of the floor, and sticking his head back as straight as a soldier — ' make ready;' 'twas did in a moment, continued my grandfather, throwing his staff* up against his shoulder, — ' take aim' — 'twas did in a moment, fetching his staff* down straight before his eyes — ' fire' — then, O marcy, what a roar, said my grandfather, striking his staff down on the floor, and such a smother and smoke you could n't hardly see your hand afore you. Well in an instant the word was ' prime and load, ' and as fast as we fired we fell back in the rear to let others come up and take their turn, so by the time we were loaded we were in front and ready to fire again, for we kept marching all the time, said my grandfather, beginning to march again across the floor. But the inemy stood their ground and kept pouring in upon us tre- mendously, and we kept marching up and firing, marching up and firing, but did n't gain forward an inch. I felt streaked enough, for the balls were whistling over our heads, and sometimes a man would drop down on one side of me and sometimes on t'other, but it would n't do for us to flinch a hair; we must march up and fire and wheel to the right and left, and keep it going. By and by the word was, 'advance column;' then, heavens and earth, how light I felt, said my grandfather, quickening his 24 LIFE OF march across the floor. I knew in a moment the inemy was retreating, and it seemed to me I could have jumped over the moon. Well, we marched forward, but still kept firing, and presently we begun to come on to the inemy 's ground; and then, O marcy, such a sight I never see before and never want to again: stepping over the dead bodies, and the poor wounded wretches wallowing in their blood, mangled all to pieces, and such screeches and groans, some crying out dont kill me, dont kill me, and others begging us to kill 'em to put 'em out of misery. O, it was enough to melt the very heart of a stone, said my grandfather, wiping the tears from his eyes But they need n't have been afraid of being hurt, for our Gineral was one of the best men that ever lived. He had the carts brought up immediately and all the poor wounded souls carried off as fast as pos- sible where they could be taken good care of He would n't let one of 'em be hurt any more than he would one of his own men. But it was a dreadful hot battle ; we fit and skirmished all the afternoon and took a good many prisoners, and some cannon and ammunition. When it come night the inemy retreated to their fortifications, and we camped all night on the ground with our guns in our hands, ready at a moment's warning to pitch battle again. As soon as it was daylight we were all mustered and paraded again, and round come the old Gineral to see how we looked. He held his head up like a soldier, and the old stub cue stuck out as straight as ever. I can see it now as plain as I can see my staff, said my grandfather. And O, my stars, how he addressed us ; it made our hearts jump to hear him. Fellow soldiers, says he, this day we shall make Bur- gwine tremble. If you are only as brave as you were yesterday we shall have him and all his army before night. But Burgwine had slipped away in the night and got into a place stronger fortified. But he MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 25 could n't get away; he was hemmed in all round; so we got him before it was over. We were five or six days skirmishing about it; but I cant tell you all, nor a quarter part ont. But how was it you took Burgwine at last? said Mr. Johnson, taking another drink of cider. O, he had to give up at last, said my grandfather. After we had skirmished a day or two longer, Gineral Gates sent word to Burgwine, that if he had a mind to march his army back into Canada, and leave every thing this side unmolested, he'd let him go peaceably. But Burgwine would n't accept it; he sent word back that ' he was going to winter with his troops in Bos- ton.' Well, after we had skirmished round two or three days longer, and Burgwine got into such close quarters that he could n't get away any how, he sent word to Gineral Gates that he'd accept the offer and march back to Canada; but Gates sent word back to him again, ' You said you meant to winter in Boston, and I mean to make you as good as your word.' At last Burgwine see it was no use for him to hold out any longer, so he give all his men up prisoners of war. Then we were all paraded in lines a little ways apart to see them surrender. And they march- ed out and marched along towards us ; and it was a most noble sight to see them all dressed out in their regimentals and their bagonuts glistening in the sun enough to dazzle any body's eyes. And they marched along and stacked their arms, and they all marched through between our lines looking homesick enough. I guess we felt as well as they did if our clothes want so good. Well that was the end of the war in the northern states. There was a little skirmishing away off to the south afterwards, but nothing to be compared to that. The battle of Burgwine was what achieved our inde- pendence; it was the cap-stone of the war; there never was sicb a gloris battle as that since the days 3 26 LIFE OF of Cesar, nor Methuselah, no, nor clear back to Adam. I dont think there ever was, said Mr. Johnson, handing me the quart mug and telling me to run and get another mug of cider; for before my grandfather could get through the fatigue of Burgwine Mr. John- son would most always get to the bottom of the mug. When I brought in the second mug, Mr. Johnson took another sip and smacked his lips, and says he, Mr. Downing I should like to drink a toast with you ; so here 's health and prosperity to the apple-trees of Downingville. Mr. Downing, what will you drink to us? said he, handing the mug to my grandfather. Why, I dont keer about any cider, said my grand- father [for he is a very temperate man, and so are all the Downings remarkably temperate] but I will jest drink a little to the memory of the greatest and the bravest Gineral that this world ever see yet; so here 's my respects to old Gineral Gates' stub cue. By this time my Grandfather having poured out of him the whole fatigue of Burgwine ; and Mr. John- son having poured into him about three pints of ci- der, they would both of them feel pretty considerably relieved, and Mr. Johnson would bid us good night and go home. I take it that it was hearing these stories of my grandfather's bravery told over so often in my young- er days, that made me such a military character as to induce the President to appoint me to the command at Madawaska, and also to go to South Carolina to put down the Nullifiers. But I 'm getting a little before my story, for I have n't got through with my grandfather yet, and my father comes before I do too. As I said afore, my grandfather Avas the first set- tler in Downingville. When he got through sogering in the revolutionary war, he took a notion he 'd go and pick him out a good lot of land away down east to settle on, where there was land enough to be had jest for whistling for it, and where his boys would MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 27 have a chance to do something in the world. So he took grandmother and the two boys, for father and Uncle Joshua were all the boys he had then, and packed them into a horse waggon, and took an axe and a hoe and a shovel, and some victuals, and a bed tick to put some straw in, and a gun and some blank- ets and one thing another, and started off down east. He drove away into Maine till he got clear to the end of the road, and then he picked his way along through the woods and round the pond five miles further, till he got to the very spot where Downing- ville now is, and there he stopt and baited his horse, and while grandmother and the boys sot down and took a bit of a luncheon, grandfather went away up top of one of the hills to take a view of the country. And when he come down again, says he, I guess we may as well ontackle, for I dont believe we shall find a better place if we travel all summer. So he on- tackled the old horse, and took the waggon and turn- ed it over against a great oak tree, and put some bushes up round it and made a pretty comfortable sort of a house for 'em to sleep in a few nights, and then he took his axe and slashed away amongst the trees. But that old oak never was cut down; it 's the very same one that stands out a little ways in front of grandfather's house now. And poor old grand- mother as long as she lived, for she 's been dead about five years, always made a practice once a year, when the day come round that they first camped under the old oak, to have the table carried out and set under the tree, and all hands, children and grand-children, had to go and eat supper there, and the good old lady always used to tell over the whole story how she slept eight nights under the waggon, and how they were the sweetest nights' rest she ever had. Well, grandfather he smashed away among the trees, and he soon had a half a dozen acres of 'em sprawling, and while they were drying in the sun he 28 LIFE OP went to work and built him a snug little log house, and made two stools to set on, one for him and one for grandmother, and a couple of blocks for the boys. He made a stone fireplace in one corner of the house, and left a hole in one corner of the roof for the smoke to go out, and he got it all fixed as nice as a new pin, and then they moved into it; and I've heard grand- mother say more than a hundred times, that she raly believed she took more comfort in that log house, than ever a queen took in a palace. When the leaves and the twigs of the trees that grandfather had cut down had got considerable dry in the sun, he went out one warm clear afternoon and sot fire to 'em. The wind was blowing a considera- ble of a breeze from the southward, and the fire spread almost as fast as a horse could run. Grand- mother used to say it was the grandest sight she ever see, to see them are six acres of trees all in a light fiame at once, and the fire streaming up as high as the tallest pines, sometimes in a broad red sheet, and sometimes in narrow strips that went up rolling and bending like ten thousand fiery dragon's tongues. After the fire had gone through it grandfather went to work to clear it up. He picked up the limbs and bits that were left and threw 'em in heaps and sot fire to 'em again, and he laid sticks across the large logs that were too heavy to move, and niggered them off with fire, and then rooUed them up in piles and sot fire to 'em again and burnt 'em all up smack smooth. Then he went to work and planted the ground all over to corn, and potatoes, and punkins, and beans, and squashes, and round near the house he planted water-millions, and mush-millions, and cowcumbers, and beats and carrots and tarnips; and grandmother carried out a whole apron full of seeds of all kinds of arbs that ever grew in old Massachusetts, and sowed 'em all round, and they come up as thick as hops. After this the family of old Mr. Zebedee Downing MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 29 always lived like heroes and never knew what it was to be in want. They had ten children, and a smart likely set of boys and gals they were too, and they all lived to grow up, and were all married and well to do in the world. Father, whose name was Solo- mon, was the oldest boy, and as they grew up, the hardest of the work naturally fell upon him, and as grandfather begun to get along considerable in years, father had to take the principal care of the farm. So that he was always called a hard-working boy and *a hard-working man. He had a quiet peaceable dispo- sition, and was never known to quarrel with any body, and scarcely ever to speak a hash word. He was always out as soon as it was light in the morning, and worked as long as he could see at night, and let the weather be what it would, cold or hot, rain or shine, his day's work was never left undone. But this hard work, and going out in the wet and cold so much, brought on the rumaties and made an old man of him before he was fifty. For ten years past he has n't been able to do hardly any thing, and he can't get about now half so smart as grandfather, although he is twenty-two years younger. Uncle Joshua was the next oldest, and he was as different from father as a toad wants a tail. He was a clear shirk, and never would work if he could help it. But he was always good-natured, and full of his pranks, and kept his clack agoing the whole day long; so that the boys used to like him, and whenever they wanted to have any frolic or fun they always used to go to him to take the lead. As he grew up he took to reading considerable, and after they begun to have newspapers at Downingville he was a master hand to read newspapers and talk politics, and by the time he was twenty-five years old he knew more about politics than any other man in Downingville. When he was thirty years old he was chosen Mod- erator of the town meeting, and has been chosen to 3* 30 LIFE OF that office every year since. He's been a squire a good many years, and has held most all the offices in town one after another, and is on the whole con- sidered the foremost man in Downingville. He is now Post Master of the United States for Downing- ville, an office which I was the means of helping him to by my acquaintance with the President. Uncle Joshua has been a considerable of a trading sort of a character, and he 's got pretty well afore hand, so that he lives in a nice two story house, painted red, with a good orchard round it, and owns a good farm, and a saw-mill, besides considerable wild land. I cant stop now to tell about the rest of my uncles and ants, for I've got so many letters to put into this book that if I stop to tell about one half of my rela- tions there would n't be room enough for the letters; and it would n't do to leave them out, for they con- tain all the history of my public life. So I may as well break right off froi^ the rest of 'em, and begin to tell about myself. I believe I was born somewhere about the year seventeen hundred and ninety-five, more or less, and mother says I was the smartest baby that she ever see. I dont speak of this by way of bragging, but as I am writing a history to go before the world, I'm bound to be impartial. She says before I was a week old I showed that I was real grit, and could kick and scream two hours upon the stretch, and not seem to be the least bit tired that ever was. But I dont re- member any thing about this. The first I remember, I found myself one cold November day, when I was about five years old, bareheaded and barefoot, sliding on the ice. It had been a snapping cold night, and in the morning the pond was all froze over as smooth as glass, and hard enough to bear a horse. All the boys in the neighborhood, and most all the gals, turned out and had a fine frolic that day, sliding and running on the pond. JVlost of tlie larger boys had MAJOR JACK DOWNi:\G. 31 shoes, but we little tellers that want big enough to wear shoes had to tuff it out as well as we could. I carried a great pine chip in my hand, and when my feet got so cold I could n't stand it no longer, I'd put the chip down and stand on that a little while and warm 'em, and then at it to sliding again like a two year old. When I got to be considerable of a boy I used to have to work with father on the farm. But it always seemed to go rather against my grain, and father used to say that I did n't love work a bit better than uncle Joshua did, without he'd give me my stent, and then he said I would spring to it and get it done by noon, and go off round the pond in the afternoon fishing or hunt- ing musquash. I think I took the most comfort in catching musquash of any thing I used to do. There was a good deal of pleasure in catching pickerel; to take a long fishing pole and line, and go down to the pond in the morning, and stand on a log whose top limbs run away off" into the water, and throw the hook off* and bob it about on the top of the water, and see a great pickerel jump and catch it, and wait a minute or two for him to get it v/ell into his mouth, and then pull him ashore, kicking and jumping and flouncing — this was most capital fun, but it want quite equal to musquashing. I had a little steel trap, and I used to go down at night to the bank of a brook that run into the pond, and set the trap on the bank just under water, and fasten it by a line to a stake or a tree, and put a bit of a parsnip on a stick and place it over the trap a little above the water, and then go home and sleep as well as I could for dreaming of musquashes, and as soon as it was cleverly light in the morning go down to the pond and creep along where the trap was sot, with my heart in my mouth, wondering if it was sprung or no, and come along to the stake and see no trap, but the line drawn straight out into the water, then take hold of the line and draw up the trap, and 52 LIFE OF see it rising up through the water fast hold of a great plump musquash, as dead as a drownded rat and full of fir as a beaver, this was fun alive; it made me feel as nicely as though I was hauling up a bucket of dol- lars. The summer I was fourteen years old I catch- ed enough to buy me a fur hat, and a pair of shoes, and a new jacket and trowses; and enough to buy me , a pretty good new suit of clothes almost every summer after that till I was twenty. Howsomever I used to stick to the farm pretty well, and help father along all I could, for after I got old enough to think more about it, it used to hurt my feelings to see the old gentleman work so hard. And many a time v*hen he has taken hold of a hard job to do, I have gone to him and took it out of his hands, and said, now father you go into the house and set down and rest you, and let me do this. And the old gentleman would turn round, but I could seethe water come into his eyes, and he would say, ' Well Jack, you are a kind boy, let folks say what they will of you ; ' and then he would take his staff and walk away into the house. We used to have a school in Downingville about three months in the winter season and two months in the summer, and I went to the winter school three winters, from the time I was twelve till I was fifteen. And I was called about the best scholar of my age that there was in school. But to be impartial, I must confess the praise did n't always all belong to me, for I used sometimes to work headwork a little in order to get the name of being a smart scholar. One instance of it was in reading. I got along in reading so well, that the master said I read better than some of the boys that were considerable older than I, and that had been to school a dozen winters. But the way I managed it was this. There was cousin Obediah was the best reader there was in school, and as clever a boy as one in a thousand, only his father had n't got no or- chard. So I used to carry a great apple to school in MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 33 my pocket every day and give to him to get him to set behind me when I was reading, where he could peak into my book, and when I come to a hard word, have him whisper it to me, and then I read it out loud. Well, one day I was reading along so, pretty glib, and at last I come to a pesky great long crooked word, that I could n't make head nor tail to it. So I waited for Obediah. But it proved to be a match for Obedi- ah. He peaked, and squinted, and choked, and I was catching my breath and waiting for him to speak; and at last he found he could do nothing with it, and says he ' skip it.' The moment I heard the sound I bawled out, skij) it. What's that? said the master, looking at me as queer as though he had catched a weazel asleep. I stopt and looked at the word again, and poked my tongue out, and waited for Obediah. Well, Obediah give me a hunch, and whispered again, ' skip it.' Then I bawled out again, ship it. At that the master and about one half the scholars yaw-hawed right out. I could n't stand that; and I dropt the book and streaked it out of school, and pulled foot for home as fast as I could go, and I never showed my head in school again from that day to this. But for all that, I made out to pick up a pretty good education. I got sol could read and spell like a fox, and could cypher as far as the rule of three. And when I got to be about twenty years old, I was strongly talked of one winter for schoolmaster. But as a good many of the same boys and gals would go to me, that were in the school when I read ' skip it,' I did n't dare to venture it for fear there would be a sort of a snicker- ing among 'em whenever any of the scholars come to a hard word. So I jogged along with father on the farm. But let me be doing what I would, whether it was hoeing potatoes, or pitching hay, or making stone wall, or junking and piling logs, I never could feel exactly easy ; some thing seemed to keep ringing in my ears 34 LIFE OF all the time, and saying I was made to do something else in the world besides this. And an old woman that come along and told fortunes, when she come to tell mine, said that wherever I should go and what- ever I should undertake to do, I should always get to the top of the ladder. I believe I. have mentioned it somewhere in one of my letters. Well, this made me keep a thinking so much the harder, and wonder- ing what I should be in the world, and although I used to stick to my work as steady as any of the boys, yet I used to feel as uneasy as a fish out of water. But what made me think most about it was father. He always used to stand to it I was smarter than common boys, and used to tell mother she might de- pend upon it, if I lived and nothing did n't happen to me, I should some day or other raise the name of the Downings higher than it ever had been yet. At last father dreampt a dream, that put the cap- stone upon the whole of it. He dreampt that I was out in the field hoeing potatoes, and he stood leaning over his staff, as he very often used to do, looking at me. By and by he said I stopt hoeing, and stood up and leaned my chin on my hoe handle, and seemed to look up towards the sky; and he said I looked as calm as the moon in a clear summer night. Present- ly my hat begun to rise up gradually, and dropt off on the ground, but I stood still. Then he said the top of my head begun to open, and a curious green plant begun to sprout up out of it. And it grew up about two feet, and sent out ever so many young branches with broad green leaves, and then the little buds begun to open and roll out great clusters of the most beautiful bright flowers one above another that ever he see in all his life. He watched 'em till they all got blowed out into a great round bunch, as big as a bushel basket; and then he waked up, and he felt so he got right out of bed and walked the floor till morning. And when we all got up, he sot down and MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 35 told the dream over to I and mother. Mother sot with her pocket handkerchief wiping the tears out of her eyes all the time he was telling of it ; and I felt as though my blood was running cold all over me. But from that time I always felt sure the time would come when Downingville would n't be big enough to hold me, and that I should do something or other in the world that would be worth telling of; but what it would be I couldn't think. Well, I kept jogging along on the farm after the same old sort, year after year, so long, and there didn't nothing happen to me, that sometimes I almost begun to give it up, and think sure enough it was all nothing but a dream. Still I kept having spells that I felt terrible uneasy, and was tempted forty times to pack up and go and seek my fortune. I might tell a good deal more about my life, and my uncles and ants and cousins, and the rest of the neighbors: but I be- gin to feel a most tired of writing my life, and believe I shall have to serve it pretty much as I planted my watermillion seeds. And that was this. When I was about six or seven years old, our folks give me a pint of watennillion seeds and told me to go out into the field and plant 'em for myself, and I might have all I could raise. So off 1 goes tickled enough. And I went to work and punched little holes down in the ground and put in one seed to time along in a row, three or four inches apart, till I got about half the seeds planted. It was rather a warm afternoon and I begun to feel a little tired, so I took and dug a hole and poured the rest of the seeds all in together, and covered 'em up, and went into the house. Well, mother asked me if I 'd planted my seeds; yes mam, says I. What, all of 'em, says she? Yes mam, says I. But you 've been very spry, says she, how did you get them done so quick ? O, says I, easy enough; I planted 'em in a hill and a row. And when they begun to come up they found 'em in a hill and a row 36 LIFE OF sure enough. So I believe I shall have to pour the rest of my life into a hill, and let it go. To come then right to the pint — I dont mean the pint of watermillion seeds, but the pint in my life which seemed to be the turning pint — In the fall of the year 1829 I took it into my head I 'd go to Port- land. I had heard a good deal about Portland, what a fine place it was, and how the folks got rich there proper fast; and that fall there was a couple of new papers come up to Downmgville from there, called the Portland Courier and Family Reader; and they told a good many queer kind of things about Portland and one thing another; and all at once it popped into my head, and I up and told father, and says I, I 'm going to Portland whether or no; and I'll see what this world is made of yet. Father stared a little at first, and said he was afraid I should get lost; but when he see I was bent upon it, he give it up; and he stepped to his chist and opened the till, and took out a dollar and give to me, and says he, Jack, this is all I can do for you; but go, and lead an honest life, and I believe I shall hear good of you yet. He turned and walked across the room, but I could see the tears start into his eyes, and mother sot down and had a hearty crying spell. This made me feel rather bad for a minute or two, and I almost had a mind to give it up; and then again father's dream came into my mind, and I mustered up courage, and declared I 'd go. So I tackled up the old horse and packed in a load of ax handles and a few notions, and mother fried me some dough-nuts and put 'em into a box along with some cheese and sassages, and ropped me up another shirt, for I told her I didn't know how long I should be gone; and after I got all rigged out, I went round and bid all the neighbors good bye, and jumped in and drove off for Portland. Ant Sally had been married two or three years be- fore and moved to Portland, and I inquired round till MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 37 I found out where she lived, and went there and put the old horse up and eat some supper and went to bed. And the next morning I got up and straightened right off to see the Editor of the Portland Courier, for I knew by what I had seen in his paper that he was jest the man to tell me which way to steer. And when I come to see him I knew I was right ; for soon as I told him my name and what I wanted, he took me by the hand as kind as if he had been a brother; and says he, Mr. Downing, I '11 do any thing I can to assist you. You have come to a good town; Port- land is a healthy thriving place, and any man with a proper degree of enterprise may do well here. But says he, Mr. Downing, and he looked mighty kind of knowing, says he, if you want to make out to your mind, you must do as the steamboats do. Well, says I, how do they do? for I did n't know what a steam- boat was, any more than the man in the moon. Why, says he, they go ahead. And you must drive about among the folks here jest as though you were at home on the farm among the cattle. Dont be afraid of any of 'em, but figure away, and I dare say you will get into good business in a very little while. But says he, there 's one thing you must be careful of, and that is not to get into the hands of them are folks that trades up round Huckler's Row; for there's some sharpers up there, if they get hold of you, would twist your eye teeth out in five minutes. Well after he had gin me all the good advice he could I went back to Ant Sally's again and got some breakfast, and then I walked all over the town to see what chance I could find to sell my ax handles and things, and to get into business. After I had walked about three or four hours I come along towards the upper end of the town where I found there were stores and shops of all sorts and sizes. And I met a feller, and says I, what place is this.^ Why this says he, is Huckler's Row. What, 4 38 LIFE OF sajs I, are these the stores where the traders in Hucklcr's Row keep? And says he, yes. Well then, thinks I to myself, I have a pesky good mind to go in and have a try with one of these chaps, and see if they can twist my eye teeth out. If they can get the best end of a bargain out of me, they can do what there aint a man in Downingville can do, and I should jest like to know what sort of stuff these ere Portland chaps are made of So in I goes into the best looking store among 'em. And I see some bis- cuit lying on the shelf, and says I, Mister, how much do you ax apiece for them are biscuit? A cent apiece, says he. Well, says I, I shant give you that, but if you've a mind to, I'll give you two cents for three of 'em, for I begin to feel a little as though I should like to take a bite. Well, says he, I would n't sell 'em to any body else so, but seeing it's you I dont care if you take 'em. I knew he lied, tor he never see me before in his life. Well he handed down the biscuits and I took 'em, and walked round the store awhile to see what else he had to sell. At last, says I, Mister, have you got any good new cider? Says he, yes, as good as ever you see. Well, says I, what do you ax a glass for it? Two cents, says he. Well, says I, seems to me I feel more dry than I do hungry now. Aint you a mind to take these ere biscuit again and give me a glass of cider? And says he I dont care if I do; so he took and laid 'em on the shelf again, and poured out a glass of cider. I took the cider and drinkt it down, and to tell the truth it was capital good cider. Then, says I, I guess it's time for me to be a going, and I stept along to- wards the door. But, says he, stop Mister. I believe you have n't paid me for the cider. Not paid you for the cider, says I, what do you mean by that? Didn't the biscuit that I give you jest come to the cider? Oh, ah, right, says he. So I started to go again; and says he, but stop, Mister, you didn't pay me for MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 39 the biscuit. What, says I, do you mean to impose upon me? do you think I am going to pay you for the biscuit and let you keep 'em tu? Aint they there now on your shelf, what more do you want ? I guess sir, you dont whittle me in that way. So I turned about and marched off, and left the feller staring and thinking and scratching his head, as though he was struck with a dunderment. Howsomever, I did n't want to cheat him, only jest to show 'em it want so easy a matter to pull my eye teeth out, so I called in next day and paid him his two cents. Well I staid at Ant Sally's a week or two, and I went about town every day to see what chance I could find to trade off my ax handles, or hire out, or find some way or other to begin to seek my fortune. And I must confess the editor of the Courier was about right in calling Portland a pretty good thriving sort of a place; every body seemed to be as busy as so many bees; and the masts of the vessels stuck up round the wharves as thick as pine trees in uncle Joshua's pasture; and the stores and the shops were so thick, it seemed as if there was no end to 'em. In short although I have been round the world con- siderable, from that time to this, all the way from Madawaska to Washington, I 've never seen any place yet that I think has any business to grin at Portland. At last I happened to blunder into the Legislator; and I believe that was the beginning of my good luck. I see such queer kinds of carrying on there, that I could n't help setting down and writing to cousin Ephraim to tell uncle Joshua about it; because he always wanted to know everything that's going on in politics. So I went to the editor of the Portland Courier, for I had got out of money, and asked him if he would be so good as to lend me ninepence to pay the postage. And he said he would with all his heart. But he could tell me a better way than that; 40 LIFE OF MAJOR JACK DOWNING. if I had a mind to let him have the letter he would send it up in the Courier and it would'nt cost any postage at all. So I let him have it, and fact, he went right to work and printed it in the Courier as large as life. He said he would n't let any body see it but cousin Ephraim; but somehow or other it leaked out and was all over the Legislator the next morning, and every body was inquiring for Mr. Down- ing. Well this kind of got me right into public life at once; and I 've been in public life ever since, and have been writing letters and rising up along gradu- ally one step after another, till I 've got up along side of the President, and am talked of now pretty strong for President myself, and have been nominated in a good many of the first papers in the country. All my public life pretty much may be found in my letters. And I shall put 'em into this book along one after another jest as they come, from the time I first sent that letter in the Portland Courier to cousin Ephraim till this time. I don't know but some of the politics in 'em will want a little explaining along by the way, so I have got my friend the editor of the Portland Courier, to put in some notes wherever he thinks they want 'em. Tosiether with a few from Cousin JVabby, and Uncle Joshua, and Cousin Ephraim, and so on; containing a pretty considerable account of my public life from Jinuary 1830 to JVovember 1833. [Xote hy the Editor. The political struggle in the Legislature of Maine in the winter of 1830 will long be remembered. The preceding electioneering campaign had been carried on with a bitterness and personality unprecedented in the State, and so nearly were the parties divided, that before the meeting of the Legislature to count the votes for Governor both sides confidently claimed the victory. Hence the members came together with feelings highly excited, prepared to dispute every inch of ground, and ready Ilo take fire at the first spark which colhsion might produce. A fierce war commenced at the first moment of the meeting, and continued for about six weeks without intermis- sion, before they succeeded in organizing the government. It was during this state of things that Mr. Downing fortunately happened lo drop into the Legislature, when his prolific genius was at once fired to record th^e scenes that were passing before him, for the edification not only of the present generation but of remote posterity. In explanation of the first letter, it may be remarked, that as soon as the Representatives had assembled, Albert Smith, Esq. of Nobleborough, the present Marshal of Maine, called them to order, and nominated Mr. White of Mon- mouth, Chairman, who was declared elected without ceremony, and took the chair. After he had occupied it two days Mr. Goodenow was elected Speaker.] -^ LETTER I. In which Mr. Downing tells about choosing Speaker. Portland, Monday, Jan. 18, 1830. To Cousin Ephraim Downing up in Dowingville. Dear Cousin Ephraim. — I now take my pen in hand' to let you know that I am well, hoping these 4# 42 LETTERS OF few lines will find you enjoying the same blessing. When I come down to Portland I did n't think o' staying more than three or four days, if I could sell my load of ax handles, and mother's cheese, and cousin Nabby's bundle of footings; but when I got here I found Uncle Nat was gone a freighting down to Quoddy, and ant Sally said as how I should n't stir a step home till he come back agin, which wont be this month. So here I am, loitering about this great town, as lazy as an ox. Ax handles dont fetch noth- ing, I could n't hardly give 'em away. Tell cousin Nabby I sold her footings for nine-pence a pair, and took it all in cotton cloth. Mother's cheese come to five-and-sixpence; I got her half a pound of shushon, and two ounces of snuff, and the rest in sugar. When uncle Nat comes home I shall put my ax handles aboard of him, and let him take 'em to Boston next time he goes; I saw a feller tother day, that told me they'd fetch a good price there. — I've been here now a whole fortnight, and if I could tell ye one half I've seen, I guess you'd stare worse than if you'd seen a catamount. I've been to meeting, and to the museum, and to both Legislators, the one they call the House, and the one they call the Sinnet. I spose uncle Josh- ua is in a great hurry to hear something about these Legislaters; for you know he's always reading news- papers, and talking politics, when he can get any body to talk with him. I've seen him, when he had five tons of hay in the field well made, and a heavy shower coming up, stand two hours disputing with squire W. about Adams and Jackson, one calling Adams a tory and a fed, and the other saying Jack- son was a murderer and a fool ; so they kept it up, till the rain began to pour down, and about spoilt all his hay. Uncle Joshua may set his heart at rest about the bushel of corn that he bet long with the post-master, that Mr. Ruggles would be Speaker of that Legisla- MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 43 ter, they call the House; for he 's lost it, slick as a whistle. As I had n't much to do, I 've been there every day since they 've been a setting. A Mr. White of Monmouth was the Speaker the two first days; and I cant see why they did n't keep him in all the time; for he seemed to be a very clever good-natured sort of man, and he had such a smooth pleasant way with him, that I could n't help feeling sorry when they turned him out and put in another. But some said he was n't put in hardly fair; and I dont know as he was, for the first day when they were all com- ing in and crowding round, there was a large fat man, with a round, full, jolly sort of a face, I suppose he was the captain, for he got up and commanded them to come to order, and then he told this Mr. White to whip into the chair quicker than you could say Jack Robinson. Some of 'em scolded about it, and I heard some, in a little room they called the lobby, say 'twas a mean trick; but I could n't see why, for I thought Mr. White made a capital Speaker, and when our company turns out you know the captain always has a right to do as he 's a mind to. They kept disputing most all the time the two first days about a poor Mr. Roberts from Waterborough. Some said he should n't have a seat, because he adjourned the town meeting, and was n't fairly elect- ed. Others said it was no such thing, and that he was elected as fairly as any of 'em. — And Mr. Ro- berts himself said he was, and said he could bring men that would swear to it, and good men too. But notwithstanding all this, when they came to vote, they got three or four majority that he should n't have a seat. And I thought it a needless piece of cruelty, for they want crowded, and there was a a number of seats empty. But they would have it so, and the poor man had to go and stand up in the lobby. Then they disputed awhile about a Mr. Fowler's 44 LETTERS OF having a seat. Some said he should n't have a seat, because when he was elected some of his votes were given for his father. But they were more kind to him than they were to Mr. Roberts; for they voted that he should have a seat; and I suppose it was be- cause they thought he had a lawful right to inherit whatever was his father's. They all declared there was no party politics about it, and I dont think there was; for I noticed that all who voted that Mr. Roberts should have a seat, voted that Mr. Fowler should not; and all who voted that Mr. Roberts should not have a seat, voted that Mr. Fowler should. So, as they all voted both ways, they must have acted as their consciences told them, and I dont see how there could be any party about it. It 's a pity they could n't be allowed to have two speakers, for they seemed to be very anxious to choose Mr. Ruggles and Mr. Goodenow. They two had every vote, except one, and if they had had that, I believe they would both have been chosen; as it was, however, they both came within a humbird's eye of it. Whether it was Mr. Ruggles that voted for Mr. Goodenow, or Mr. Goodenow for Mr. Rug- gles, I can't exactly tell; but I rather guess it was Mr. Ruggles voted for Mr. Goodenow, for he appear- ed to be very glad that Mr. Goodenow was elected, and went up to him soon after Mr. Goodenow took the chair, and shook hands with him as good-natured as could be. I would have given half my load of ax handles, if they could both have been elected and set up there together, they would have been so happy. But as they can't have but one speaker at a time, and as Mr. Goodenow appears to understand the business very well, it is not likely Mr. Ruggles will be speaker any this winter. So Uncle Joshua will have to shell out his bushel of corn, and I hope it will learn him better than to bet about politics again. If he had not been a goose, he miorht have known he MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 45 would loose it, even if he had been ever so sure of getting it; for in these politics there's never any t^ell- ing which way the cat will jump. You know, before the last September election, some of the papers that came to our town had found out that Mr. Hunton would have five thousand majority of the votes. And some of the other papers had found out that Mr. Smiili would have five thousand majority. But the cat jumped 'tother way to both of 'em; for I cant find yet as either of 'em has got any majority. Some say Mr. Hunton has got a little majority, but as far from five thousand as I am from home. And as for Mr. Smith, they dont think he has any majority at all. You remember, too, before I came from home, some of the papers said how there was a majority often or fifteen national re'puhlicans in the Legislator, and the other papers said there was a pretty clever little majority o^ democratic republicans. Well, now every body says it has turned out jest as that queer little paper, called the Daily Courier, said 't would. That paper said it was such a close rub, it could n't hardly tell which side would beat. And it 's jest so, for they 've been here now most a fortnight acting jest like two boys playin see-saw on a rail. First one goes up, then 'tother; but I reckon one of the boys is rather heaviest, for once in awhile he comes down chuck, and throws the other up into the air as though he would pitch him head over heels. In that 'tother Legislator they call the Sinnet, there has been some of the drollest carryins on that you ever heard of If I can get time I '11 write you something about it, pretty soon. So I subscribe my- self, in haste, your loving cousin till death. JACK DOWNING. 46 LETTERS OF LETTER II. In which Mr. Doivning tells about poor Mr. Roberts having to stand up. [Xote by the Editor. It was the rule at the meeting of the Legislature to admit all to a seat who could produce a certificate of their election, which certificate was considered prima facia evidence that they were duly returned as members. The Port- land Argus and Advertiser were the leading papers of the two parties ; and as matters began to grow worse and worse in the Legislature, the Argus constantly affirmed that the democratic republicans used every endeavor in their power to organize the government and proceed in the public business, but that the Huntonites would not let them. And the Advertiser as con- stantly affirmed, that the national republicans used their utmost endeavors to proceed in the public business, but the Jacksonites would not let them.] Portland, Jan. 22, 1830. To Uncle Joshua Downing up in Downingville. Dear Uncle Joshua. — I spose you learnt by my letter t'other day to cousin Ephraim, that you had lost the bushel of corn you bet about the Speaker in the Legislater; I mean that Legislater they call the House; for Mr. White got it first, and then Mr. Goodenow got it, and he's kept it ever since. And they say he'll be Speaker all winter, although he don't speak near so much as some the rest of 'em. There's lawyer Ruggles, of Thomaston, that used to be Speaker, and folks say he made a very smart one. And there's lawyer Boutelle, of Waterville, who's got eyes sharp enough to look through any body, and who makes 'em all as still as mice when he speaks. And there 's lawyer Smith of jVobleborough ; he looks very much like a man I saw in the museum, that they called Daniel Lambert, only he is'nt quite so large; but my patience, he's a real peeler for speaking, and sometimes he pours out his voice so as to make me MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 47 jump right up on my feet. If I was going to bet who would be Speaker next year, I should bet upon him before any body else. And there 's lawyer Bourne, of Kennebunk, and lawyer Kent, of Bangor, and lawyer Norton, of Milburn, and doctor Burnham, of Orland, and doctor Shaw of Wiscasset, and doctor Wells, of Freeport, and parson Knowlton, of Mont- ville, and parson Swett, of Prospect, and some others, if I could only think of 'em. Now, most any of these speak more than Mr. Goodenow does; and still Mr. Goodenow is called the Speaker, because they voted that he should be. They've disputed two days more about that poor Mr. Roberts having a seat. I can't see why they need to make such a fuss about it. As they've got seats enough, why don't they let him have one, and not keep him standing up for three weeks in the lobby and round the fire; its a plaguy sight worse than being on a standing committee, for they say the standing committees have a chance to set most every day. But in the dispute about Mr. Roberts last Wednesday and Thursday, the difficulty seemed to be something or other about a primij facij case. I don't know what sort of a case 'twas, but that's what they called it. Some said he hadn't got any primy facij case, and he mus'nt have a seat till he had one. The others stood to it that he had got one, and a very good one; Mr. Ruggles said it was full as good a one as the gentlemen from Portland had. And they read above twenty papers that they called depositions, about the town meeting at Waterborough; but they didn't seem to say any thing about the primy jacy case. About one half of 'em said the town meeting was adjourned, and t'other half said twas'nt. And one of the depositions said there was some of 'em at the meeting agreed that Mr. Roberts should n't be elected at any rate; and if they could n't prevent it any other way, they agreed to keep up a row till midnight. And when they brought in candles in the 48 LETTERS OF evening, they knocked 'em all over, and put 'em out. So they all had to clear out; and some said there was a vote to adjourn the meeting, and some said Mr. Roberts adjourned it alone, and some said 'twasn't adjourned at all. And one of the depositioners said Mr. Roberts offered to give him as much rum as he would drink, if he would only say the meeting was fairly adjourned. But all the depositions didn't con- vince but sixty-nine members of the House that Mr. Roberts had a primy facij case; and there were seventy-five convinced t'other way. So, after they had disputed two days, they voted again that Mr. Roberts shouldn't have a seat yet. O dear, uncle Joshua, these Legislaters have got the State into a dreadful pickle. I've been reading the Portland Argus and the Portland Advertiser, and it's enough to scare a Bunker Hill sojer out of his seven senses, to see what we are all coming to. Ac- cording to these papers, there are two very clever parties in the State, that are trying with all their might to save us from ruin. They are called demo- cratic republikins, and national o'ejniblikins ; and you'd be perfectly astonished to see how hard they've work- ed, as these papers say, in both Legislaters, to set things right, and get business a going on well, so that we can have a governor, and live in peace and har- mony, and not break out into a civil war, and all be ruined in a bunch. But it's doubtful if they'll make out to save us after all; for there is such a set of Jacksonites and Huntonites, that are all the time a plotting to bring us to destruction, that I tell ye what 'tis, if something isn't done pretty soon, it'll be gone goose with us. These Jacksonites and Huntonites seem to have a majority in the Legislaters; and they've been making a proper bother for a most three weeks, so that the democratic republikins and the national republikins couldn't do nothing at all. And sometimes Pm really MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 49 afraid they'll have to break up and go home without doing any thing; and if they do, they say we shall all be afloat, and there's no knowing where we shall land. The repubhkins appointed a committee to count the votes for governor, and the committee told 'eir. t'other day, there was 39 majority for Mr. Hunton, and he was elected. But then these Jacksonites and Hiintonites went to disputing about the matter; and some say they will dispute it this fortnight yet. What a blessing it would be if the Legislators were all democratic and national republikins. The people are growing pretty mad at all this botheration, and I can't tell what '11 be the end on't. But I shall write again to you or cousin Ephraim pretty soon. So I remain your loving neefu till death. JACK DOWNING. P. S. I concluded to send my letters in the Daily Courier to save postage — the printer said he would n't show them to any body. LETTER m. In which Cousin JVabby advises Mr. Downing to come home. Downingville, Jan. 30, 1830. Dear Cousin Jack. — If you were only here, I would break the handle of our old birch broom over your back for serving me such a caper. Here I have been waiting three weeks for that cotton cloth you got for the footings; and you know the meeting-house windows were to have been broke a fortnight ago, if I had got it. And then I had to tell Sam, I was waiting for some cotton cloth. He tried to keep in 5 60 LETTERS OF with all his might, but he burst out a laughing so, I'm a good mind to turn him off". But if I do, you and he loill he both in the same pickle. You had better let them legislaters alone; and if you can't sell your ax handles, take 'em and come home and mind your business. There is Jemima Parsons romping about with the school-master, fair weather and foul. Last Wednesday she went a sleigh-riding with him, and to-night she's going to the singing-school, and he is going to carry her. Last night she came over to our house, and wanted me to go to uncle Zeke's to borry their swifts, she said, when she knew we had some, and had borried them a dozen times. I said nothing, but went with her. When we got there, who should we find but the school-master. — I know Jemime knew it, and went there purpose to have him go home with her. She never askt for the swifts. Coming home, the master askt her if she had seen your last letter. She said yes, and began to laugh and talk about you, just as tho' I was no relation. She said she guessed them legislaters would try to make a governor out of you next, if you staid there much ledger. One of them steers you sold to Jacob Small that week you went to Portland, died t'other day; and he says if v/e have no governor this year, he wont pay you a cent for 'em. So you have lost your steers and Jemima Parsons, jest by your dallying about there among them legislaters. I say you had better come home, and see to your own business. I spose father and brother Eph. would like to have you stay there all winter and tell 'em about the governors and legisla- ters, but ant wants her tea, and I want my cotton cloth, so I wish you'd make haste home and bring 'em. Your loving Cousin, NABBY. 7h Mr. Jack Downing. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 51 LETTER IV. In which Uncle Joshua tells hoiu he ivent to Boston, and took dinner with the Gineral Court. [jXote hy the Editor. This letter came through the Boston Daily Advertiser, and there has always been some doubt whether it was really written by that respectable and stanch patriot, Joshua Downing, Esq. The Major says he has often asked him the question, at which his uncle Joshua would always shake his head and lauffh, but give no answer. It is written, however, m the pure style of the Downing family, which is the strongest evidence we can have that the letter is genuine.] LeUer from Joshua Downing, in Boston, to his nepheiv, Jack Downing, in Portland. Dear Nephew,— I left home just after your letter to your cousin Ephraim got there, and I didn't get a sight of your letter to me that you put into the Cou- rier at Portland, until I saw it in the Daily Adver- tiser in Boston, and I guess Mr. Hale is the only person in Boston who takes that are little Courier, so you was pretty safe about the letter not being seen, as the printer promised you. — How I happened to see it here, you will find out before I have got through with this letter. I guess you wont be a little struck up when you find out that I'm in Boston — but I had best begin at the beginning and then I shall get thro' quicker. After seeing your letter to Ephraim as I said before, I concluded it wouldn't be a bad scheme to tackle up and take a load of turkies, some apple-sauce, and oth- er notions that the neighbors wanted to get to mar- ket, and as your uncle Nat would be in Boston with the ax handles, we all thought best to try our luck there. Nothing happened worth mentioning on the road, nor till next morning after I got here and put up in Elm street. I then got off my watch pretty cu- riously, as you shall be informed. I was down in the 52 LETTERS OF bar room, and tho't it well enough to look pretty con- siderable smart, and now and then compared my watch with the clock in the bar, and found it as near right as ever it was — when a feller stept up to me and ask'd how I'd trade? and says I, for what? and says he, for your watch — and says I, any way that will be a fair shake — upon that says he, I'll give you my watch and five dollars. — Says I, its done! He gave me the five dollars, and I gave him my watch. Now, says I, give me ijour watch — and, says he, with a loud laugh, I han't got none — and that kind aturn'd the laugh on me. Thinks I, let them laugh that lose. Soon as the laugh was well over, tiie feller thought he'd try the watch to his ear — why, says he, it dont go — no, says I, not without its carried — then I began to laugh — he tried to open it and couldn't start it a hair, and broke his thumb nail into the bar- gain. Won't she open, says he? Not's I know on, says I — and then the laugh seemed to take another turn. Don't you think I got off the old Brittania pretty well, considerin? And then I thought I'd go and see about my load of turkies and other notions, I ex- pected to have gone all over town to sell my load, but Mr, Doolittle told me if I'd go down to the new- market, I should find folks enough to buy all I had at once. So down I goes, and a likely kind of a feller, with an eye like a hawk and quick as a steeltrap for a trade, (they called him a 4th staller,) came up to the wagon, and before you could say Jack Robinson, we struck a bargain for the whole cargo — and come to weigh and reckon up, I found I should get as much as 10s6d more than any of us calculated before I left home, and had the apple-sauce left besides. So I thought I'd jist see how this 4th staller worked his card to be able to give us so good a price for the turkies, and I went inside the market house, and a grander sight I never expect to see! But it was the 3d staller, instead of the 4th, had my turkies all sort- MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 53 ed and hung up, and looking so much better that I hardly should known 'em. Pretty soon, a gentleman asked the 3d staller what he asked for turkies ? Why, says he, if you want something better than you ever saw before, there's some 'twas killed last night pur- pose for you. You may take 'em at 9d, being it's you. I'll give you 12 cents, said the gentleman, as I've got some of the General Court to dine with me, and must treat well. I shant stand for half a cent with an old customer, says he. And so they traded; and in about the space of half an hour or more, all my turkies went into baskets at that rate. The 4th staller gave me 6d a pound, and I began to think I'd been a little too much in a hurry for trade — hut's no use to cry for spilt milk. Then I went up to the State House to see what was going on there; but I thought I'd get off my apple-sauce on my way — and seeing a sign of old clothes bartered, I stepped in and made a trade, and got a whole suit of superfine black broadcloth from top to toe, for a firkin of apple- sauce, (which didn't cost much I guess, at home.) Accordingly I rigged myself up in the new suit, and you 'd hardly known me. I did n't like the set of the shoulders, they were so dreadful puckery; but the man said that was all right. I guess he '11 find the apple sauce full as puckery when he gets down into it — but that 's between ourselves. Well, when I got up to the State House I found them at work on the rail road — busy enough I can tell you — they got a part of it made already. I found most all the folks kept their hats on except the man who was talking out loud and the man he was talking to — all the rest seemed to be busy about their own consarns. As I did n't see any body to talk to I kept my hat on and took a seat, and look'd round to see what was going on. I had n't been setting long before I saw a slick-headed, sharp-eyed little man, who seemed to have the principal management of the 54 LETTERS OF folks, looking at me prety sharp, as much as to say who are you? but I said nothing and looked tother way — at last he touched me on the shoulder — I thought he was feeling of the puckers. Are you a member? says he — sartin says I — how long have you taken your seat? says he. About ten minutes, says I. Are you qualified? says he. I guess not, says I. And then he left me. I did n't know exactly what this old gentleman was after — but soon he returned and said it was proper for me to be qualified before I took a seat, and I must go before the governor! By Jing! I never felt so before in all my born days. As good luck would have it, he was beckoned to come to a man at the desk, and as soon as his back was turned I give him the slip. Jest as I was going off, the gentleman who bought my turkies of the 4th staller took hold of my arm, and I was afraid at first that he was going to carry me to the Governor — but he began to talk as sociable as if we had been old acquaint- ances. How long have you been in the house, Mr. Smith, says he. My name is Downing, said I. I beg your pardon, says he — I mean Downing. It 's no offence, says I, I hav'nt been here long. Then says he in a very pleasant way, a few of your brother members are to take pot-luck with me to day, and I should be happy to have you join them. What 's pot-luck said I. O, a family dinner, says he — no ceremony. I thought by this time I was well quali- fied for that without going to the Governor. So says I, yes, and thank ye too. How long before you '11 want me, says I. At 3 o'clock, says he, and gave me a piece of paste board with his name on it — and the name of the street, and the number of his house, and said that would show me the way. Well, says I, I dont know of nothing that will keep me away. And then we parted. I took considerable liking to him. After strolling round and seeing a great many things about the State House and the marble immage MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 55 of Gin. Washington, standing on a stump in the Porch, I went out into the street they call Bacon street, and my stars! what swarms of women folks I saw all drest up as if they were going to meeting. You can tell cousin Polly Sandburn, who you know is no slimster, that she need n't take on so about being genteel in her shapes — for the genteelest ladies here beat her as to size all hollow. I dont believe one of 'em could get into our fore dore — and as for their arms — I should n't want better measure for a bushel of meal than one of their sleeves could hold. I shant shell out the bushel of corn you say I 've lost on Speaker Ruggles at that rate. But this puts me in mind of the dinner which Mr. wants I should help the Gineral Court eat. So I took out the piece of paste board, and began to inquire my way and got along completely, and found the number the first time — but the door was locked, and there was no knocker, and I thumpt with my whip handle, but nobody come. And says I to a man going by, dont nobody live here ? and says he yes. Well, how do you get in? Why, says he, ring; and says I, ring what ? And says he, the bell. And says I where 's the rope? And says he, pull that little brass nub; and so I gave it a twitch, and I 'm sure a bell did ring; and who do you think opened the door with a white apron afore him? You could n't guess for a week a Sundays — so I '11 tell you. It was Stephen Furlong, who kept our district school last winter, for 5 dollars a month, and kept bachelor's hall, and helped tend for Gineral Coombs a training days, and make out muster rolls. We was considerably struck up at first, both of us; and when he found I was going to eat dinner with Mr. and Gineral Court, he thought it queer kind of doings — but says he, I guess it will be as well for both of us not to know each other a bit more than we can help. And says I, with a wink, you 're half right, and in I went. There was 66 LETTERS OF nobody in the room but Mr. and his wife, and not a sign of any dinner to be seen any where — though I thought now and then when a side door opened, I could smell cupboard, as they say. I thought I should be puzzled enough to know what to say, but I had 'nt my thoughts long to myself. Mr. has about as nimble a tongue as you ever heard, and could say ten words to my one, and I had nothing to do in the way of making talk. Just then I heard a ringing, and Stephen was busy opening the door and letting in the Gineral Court, who all had their hats off, and looking pretty scrumptious, you may depend. I did 'nt see but I could stand along side of 'em without disparagement, except to my boots, which had just got a lick of beeswax and tal- low — not a mite of dinner yet, and I began to feel as if 'twas nearer supper-time than dinner-time — when all at once two doors flew away from each other right into the wall, and what did I see but one of the gran- dest thanksgiving dinners you ever laid your eyes on — and lights on the table, and silver candlesticks and gold lamps over head — the window shutters closed — I guess more than one of us stared at first, but we soon found the way to our mouths — I made Stephen tend out for me pretty sharp, and he got my plate filled three or four times with soup, which beat all I ever tasted. I shan't go through the whole dinner again to you — but I am mistaken if it cost me much for victuals this week, if I pay by the meal at Mr. Doolittle's, who comes pretty near up to a thanksgiv- ing every day. There was considerable talk about stock and manufactories, and lier bilities, and rimi- dies, and a great loss on stock. I thought this a good chance lor me to put in a word — for I calculat- ed I knew as much about raising stock and keeping over as any of 'em. Says I to Mr. , there's one thing I've always observed in my experience in stock — just as sure as you try to keep over more stock MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 57 than you have fodder to carry them well into April, one half will die on your hands, to a sartinty — and there's no remedy for it — I've tried it out and out, and there's no law that can make a ton of hay keep over ten cows, unless you have more carrots and potatoes than you can throw a stick at. This made some of the folks stare who did 'nt know much about stock — and Steve give me a jog, as much as to say, keep quiet. He thought 1 was getting into a quog-mire, and soon after, giving me a wink, opened the door and got me out of the room into the entry. After we had got out of hearing, says I to Steve, how are you getting on in the world — should you like to come back to keep our school if I could get a vote for you ^ — not by two chalks says Steve — I know which side my bread is buttered better than all that — I get 12 dollars a month and found, and now and then some old clothes, which is better than keeping school at 5 dollars and find myself and work out my highway tax besides — then turning up the cape of my neio coat, says he, I guess I've dusted that before now — most likely, says I, but not in our district school. And this brings to mind to tell you how I got a sight of your letter. They tell me here that every body reads the Boston Daily Advertiser, because there is no knowing but what they may find out something to their advantage, so I thought I would be as wise as the rest of them, and before I got half through with it, what should I find mixed up among the news but your letter that you put into that Uttle paper down in Portland, and I knew it was your writing before I had read ten fines of it. I hope I've answered it to your satisfaction. Your respectful uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING. P. S. Mr. Tophff*says your uncle Nat is telegraph- ed, but I'm afraid the ax handles wont come to much — I find the Boston folks make a handle of most any thing they can lay hold of, and just as like as not 58 LETTERS OF they'll make a handle of our private letters if they should see them. jV. B. You spell dreadful had, according to my notion — and this proves what I always said, that our district has been going down hill ever since Stephen Furlong left it. [jYote by the Editor. In order that the reader may understand the progress of the war in the Legislature, it should be remarked that the parties in the Senate were equally divided. There were eight Huntonites, or national republicans, and eight Smithites, or democratic republicans, and four vacancies. The battles there- fore in the Senate were more serious, obstinate, and protracted, than they were in the House. They balloted regularly for Pres- ident every day for about a fortnight. To illustrate the state of affairs at that time, a couple of extracts from the Portland Cou- rier in relation to the balloting in the Senate are subjoined.] From the Portland Conner, Jan. 1830. Saturday forenoon the House having adjourned at an early hour, we repaired to the Senate Chamber with the view of standing watch awhile. We arrived just in the height of a spirited skirmish, or what might almost be called a battle; but the room was crowded, and the doorway so impenetrably thronged, that we could gain no entrance. There was scarcely room for a man to wedge his nose in, unless it were a re- markably thin and sharp one. From the subdued and regular hum within, there was evidently a debate go- ing on, but we being somewhat low in stature, and a solid phalanx of sixfooters standing before us, we were left in the unpleasant predicament of stretching up on tiptoe without catching a single glimpse of the scene, and holding our hands behind our ears without distin- guishing a syllable that was uttered. The debate however soon subsided. We learnt af- terwards from inquiry, that it related to the subject of forming a convention with the House for the purpose of filling vacancies, before the Senate was organized; the 8 Huntonites voting in favor of the proposition, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 59 and the 8 Smithites against it. A vote was then pass- ed to proceed to ballot for President again; and luckily for us, the ballot boxes were out in the lobby, and out came the messenger, cutting his way like a hero, (we like to have said, hero of New Orleans, but happened to think some would say we were taking sides,) we simply say then, he cut his way through the dense ranks of spectators, like a hero, and we crept in through the breach he had made. The com- mittee collected the votes for President, and retired. In about ten minutes they returned, and declared the result; 7 for Mr. Dunlap, 7 for Mr. Kingsbury, and 2 scattering. They collected the votes again, and retired as be- fore, and returned as before, and declared the same result. Again they proceeded in the same round, and came in the third time, and stood ready to declare. The spectators had become so accustomed to the re- port, that they were whispering it off in advance of the committee, like a mischievous and sinful boy run- ning ahead of some good old country Deacon, who always uses the same words in prayer. — Judge then, ye readers of the Courier, what unspeakable aston- ishment prevailed, when from the lips of the Chairman fell the startling words, 8 for Sanford Kingsbury, 6 for Robert P. Dunlap, and 2 scattering. The effect was like that of a clap of thunder in the dead of winter: some faces grew longer, and some grew shorter; in some eyes there was a look of wild- ness; in others a leering complacency, that seemed to say, ' your're dish'd at last; while some confound- ed knowing glances from other quarters visibly replied, 'not as you know on.' And to be sure these last were in the right; for round they went the fourth time, collected the ballots, counted them, and came in again — expectation was on tiptoe, and speculation was very busy. Some thought this ballot would settle the ques- tion, but others doubted. The Committee declared. 60 LETTERS OF and the same old tune greeted the ears of the audi- ence — 7 for Mr. Dunlap, 7 for Mr. Kingsbury, and 2 scattering. Another extract from the same, A new Time. — We have to pitch our pipe to a new- tune this morning. The second great battle of the session was fought, or rather terminated yesterday af- ternoon. After a regular engagement for eight days in succession, during which time the regular armies of Huntonites and Smithites in the Senate were drawn up face to face, forenoon and afternoon, exchanging some half a dozen shots every day, and then retiring by mutual consent, and sleeping upon their arms, the conflict was ended yesterday afternoon by a ruse de guerre on the part of the Huntonites, which led them to victory without bloodshed. The Senate met in the afternoon at three o'clock, and proceeded to their usual round of duties. The committee received the votes for President, and retired, and came in again, and declared in the strains of the old tune, 7 for Mr. Dunlap, 7 for ]Mr. Kingsbury, and 2 scattering. They proceeded again, and came in as before. It was the fftieth ballot since the commencement of the session; and had a fifty pounder been unexpectedly discharged in the room, it would hardly have produced a stronger sensation, than the declaration of the Committee, when they piped away in the following new tune: whole number of votes 15. Necessary to a choice 8: Joshua Hall has 8, Robert P. Dunlap 6, James Steele 1, Blank 1. We shall not attempt to describe the coloring of faces, the wildness of eyes, or the bit- ing of lips that ensued; for, not arriving in season we did not see them. But we have no doubt from the remarks of those who were present, that the occasion would have furnished a scene for painting, full equal, if not surpassing, that in the House on the choice of Speaker. After the first consternation had subsided, MAJOR JACK DOWNING, 61 Mr. Hall was declared duly elected President of the Senate. Whereupon he rose in his place, and thank- ed the gentlemen of the Board for the confidence they had placed in him. He doubted his abilities to discharge properly the duties assigned him; but under present circumstances he would accept the trust. He accordingly took the Chair. [JS'ote hy the Editor. Mr. Hall, or Elder Hall, as he was usu- ally called, was a democratic republican, but was chosen Presi- dent exclusively by the national republican votes, he throwing a blank vote himself. He was a short, fleshy, good hearted old gentleman, a minister of the Methodist denomination, and knew much more about preaching than he did about politics. The democratic repubhcans after their first consternation at his elec- tion had subsided, fearing that he had actually gone over to the enemy, took measures to have a private consultation with him immediately after adjournment. This interview resulted in nailing the old gentleman to his former political faith, and he stack to the party like wax during the remainder of the session. So the Senate was still divided, eight to eight, except when the four new Senators elected by the national republicans to fill the vacancies, attempted to act.] LETTER V. In which Mr. Downing tells ivhat a hobble the Legisla- ture got into, in trying to make so manij Governors. Portland, Feb. 1, 1830. To Cousin Ephraim Downing up in Downingville. Dear Cousin Ephrai3i. — I spose you expected me to write to you agin long afore now and tell you something more about these legislators, and I meant to, but I could n't very well: for I'll tell you jest how twas. — Some days, when the legislator would get into a plaguy hobble, I would think to myself, well, soon as they get out of this snarl, I'll write to cousin Ephraim and tell him all about it ; but before they got fairly out of that, they'd be right into another; and if I 6 62 LETTERS OF waited till next day to see how that ended, my keesers! before night they'd all be higgledy piggle in a worse hobble than they 'd ever been in afore. So if I wait to tell you how it comes out, I believe I shall have to wait till haying time. Another thing I've been waiting for, was to tell you who was Governor. — But, dear, I cant find out half so much about it now, here in this great city of Portland, where all the Governors live, as I could six months ago among the bear traps and log houses in our town, way back in the woods. Last August, you know, according to the papers we were going to have two Governors right off, sure as rates; Mr. Hunton and Mr. Smith. Well now its got to be the first of February, and we haven't got one yet. And although the governor-makers have had four or five under way for a month past, some think it very doubtful whether they will get one done so as to be fit to use this year. There's Mr. Hunton, and Mr. Smith, and Mr. Cutler, and Mr. Goodenow, and Mr. Hall, have all been partly made into Governors; but when in all creation any of 'em will be finished, 1 guess it would puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to tell. I stated in my letter to uncle Joshua, that there were two very clever parties in the legislater, the demo- cratic republikans and the national republikans; and they are so, and very industrious, and try to make things go on right; and I really believe, if the con- founded Jacksonites and Huntonites didn't bother 'em so, they'd make us a Governor, as quick as I could make an ax handle. It is enough to do any body's heart good to see how kind and obliging these demo- cratic republikans and national republikans are to each other, and how each party tries to help the other along; and its enough to make any body's blood boil to see the Jacksonites and Huntonites, jest like the dog in the manger, because they cant cat the hay themselves, snap at these two clever parties the moment either of 'em sets out to take a mouthful. I'll jest give you an in- MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 63 stance of the kindness that these two clever parties show to each other. — You know the constitution says when we haven't any Governor the President of the Sin- net must be Governor, and when we have 'nt any Pres- ident of the Sinnet, the Speaker of the House must be Governor. So when Governor Lincoln died Mr, Cutler was Governor for awhile, because he was last year President of the Sinnet. Mr. Goodenow is a nation- al republikan, and when he was elected Speaker of the House, the democratic republikans told him as there was no President of the Sinnet elected yet, it belonged to him to be Governor, and tried as hard as though he had belonged to their own party, to en- courage him to go right into the council chamber and do the Governor's business. But the national repub- likans didn't dare to let him go, for he was elected by only one majority, and they said if he should leave the chair, it wouldn't be five minutes before a Jack- sonite would be whisked into it, and then the two clever parties would all be up a tree. Well, jest so twas in the Sinnet after Elder Hall was elected Pres- ident, only the bread was buttered on tother side. Elder Hall is a democratic republikan, and there was a great deal tougher scrabble to elect him, than there was to choose the Speaker of the House. But as soon as he was elected, the n^itional republikans went to him very kindly, and said, ' Elder Hall, by the pro- visions of the constitution you are now fairly Gov- ernor of the State till another governor is qualified. Dont be bashful about it, but please to walk right into the Council chamber, and do the governor's business.' But the democratic republikans said, that would never do, for if he should, the Sinnet Board would be capsized in an instant and the Huntonites would rule the roast. — So there was a pair of Gov- ernors spoilt when they were more than half made, jest by the mischief of the Jacksonites and Hunton- ites. And the consequence is, that Mr. Cutler has 64 LETTERS OP to keep doing the Governor's business yet, whether he wants to or not, and whether it is right for him to, or not. They say the poor man is a good deal dis- tressed about it, and has sent to the great Judges of the Supreme Court to know whether it's right for him to be Governor any longer or not. If the Judges should say he mus 'nt be Governor any longer, we shall be in a dreadful pickle. Only think, no Governor, and no laws, but every body do jest as they're a mind to. Well, if that should be the case, I know one thing, that is, Bill Johnson will get one good flogging for calling me a mean puppy and a coward last summer; I've longed to give it to him ever since; and if the Legislater don't make a governor this winter, I shall come right home, and Bill must look out. What a pity 'tis they should waste so much time trying to make so many Governors; for, if they should make a dozen, we shouldn't want to use but one this year; and it is thought if they had all clapt to and worked upon one instead of working upon so many, they might have had him done more than three weeks ago. Your lovin cuzen till death, JACK DOWNING. LETTER VI. In tvhich Mr. Downing describes a sad mishap that befell the House of Representatives. [JVote by the Editor. After a stormy debate in the House in relation to forming a Convention of the two branches to fill the vacancies in the Senate, the national republicans finally carried the day; whereupon the democratic republicans, havintj remon- strated to the last, took their hats and marched out of the House in a body, about sixty in number, headed by Mr. Smith of Noble- borough. The national republicans of the two branches, how- ever, held the Convention, and filled the vacancies in the Sen- ate, and the next day the democratic republicans returned to their seats.] MAJOR JACK DOWNING. B5 Portland, Tuesday, Feb. 2, 1830. Dear Cousin Ephraim, — I have jest time to write you a short postscript to a letter that I shall send you in a day or two. We have had a dreadful time here to-day. You know the wheels of government have been stopt here for three or four weeks, and they all clapt their shoulders under to-day, and give 'em a lift; and they started so hard, that as true as you're alive, theij split both Legislaters right in tu. Some say they are split so bad, they can't mend 'em again, but I hope they can though; I shall tell you all about how 'twas done, in a day or two. I've been expect- ing a letter from you, or some of the folks, sometime. As I've got pretty short of money, I wish you would send 'em in the Daily Courier, so I shant have to pay the postage. Your hearty cousin, JACK DOWNING. LETTER VII. In which affairs take a more favourable turn. Portland, Feb. 3, 1830. Cousin Ephraim, — I thought I would jest write you another little postscript to my letter that I was going to send you in a day or tu, and let you know that the legislaters want split so bad as some folks tho't for. They've got 'em both mended agin, so that they set 'em agoing to day afore noon. But in the arternoon, that legislator they call the Sinnet, got stuck, and in trying to make it go, it rather seemed to crack a little; so they stopt short till to- morrow. Its been jostled about so, and got so weak an' rickety, some are afraid it will give out yet, or split in tu agin. JACK DOWNING. 6* 66 LETTERS OF LETTER VIII. In which Mrs. Downing urges her son to come home. BovnmigviWe, Feb. 6, 1830. My Dear Son, — Its a good while since I writ a letter, and I almost forget how; but you stay down there to Portland so long, I kind of want to say something to you. I have been churning this morn- ing, and my hand shakes so I cant hardly hold my pen still. And then I am afraid the news I've got to tell, will be such a blow to you, it makes me feel sort of narvous. Last Sunday the schoolmaster and Jemima Parsons had their names stuck up together in the meeting-house porch. — Now I hope you wont take on, my dear Jack; for if I was you, I should be glad to get rid of her so. I guess she's rather slack, if the truth was known: for I went in there one day, and she'd jest done washing the floor; and I declare, it looked as gray as if she'd got the water out of a mud puddle. And then she went to making pies without washing her hands, or shifting her apron. They made me stop to supper, but I never touched Jemime's pies. There's Dolly Spaulding, I'm sure she's likelier looking than Jemime Parsons, if 'twant for that habit she's got of looking two ways at once. If she's making a soup, one eye is always in the pot, if t'other does look up chimney. She's as good a cook as ever v/as born, and neat as wax-work. Sally Kcan was to our house spinning linen t'other day, because I burnt my hand so bad trying out lard I couldn't hold the thread, and she said Dolly had more sheets and pillow-cases than you could count for one while, and she is always making blankets and coverlids. She has sold footings enough to buy her half a dozen silver spoons and a case of knives. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 67 When I was young, such a gal would had a husband long ago. The men didn't use to ask if a gal looked one way, or two ways with her eyes, but whether she was neat and smart ; only if she had thin lips and peaked nose, they were sometimes a little shy of her. Jack, I'm afraid these legislators will be the ruination of you ! 'Twill make you jest like your uncle Joshua. You know he had rather stand and dispute about politiks any time, than work on his farm, and talking will never build a stone wall or pay our taxes. 1 dont care so much about the shushon as your poor cousin Nabby does about the cotton cloth. But your father has got the rumatise dreadfully this win- ter; and its rather hard for him to have to cut all the wood and make the fires this cold winter, I cant see what good twil do for you to stay in Portland any longer, and I think you had better come home and see a little to the work on the farm. Your loving mother, MARY DOWNING, LETTER IX. In which Mr. Downing tells about trigging the wheels of government. Portland, Thursday, Feb. 11, 1830. Dear Cousin Ephraim. — I 've wrote you three postscripts since I wrote you a letter, and the reason is, these Legislators have been carryin on so like all possest, and I 've been in looking at 'em so much, I could n't get time to write more than three lines at once, for fear I should be out of the way, and should 68 LETTERS OF miss seeing some of the fun. But thinkin you 'd be tired of waiting, I tried to get the printer to send my letter yesterday; but he told me right up and down he could n't. I told him he must, for I ought to sent before now. But he said he could n't, and would n't, and that was the upshot of the matter, for the paper was chock full, and more tu, of the Gov- ernor's message. Bless my stars, says I, and have we got a Governor done enough so he can speak a message.'* Yes, indeed we have, says he, thanks be to the tivo great repuhlikin parties, who have saved the State from the anarkee of the Jacksonites and Hun- tonites; the Governor is done, and is jest a going into the Legislater, and if you '11 go right up there, you can see him. So I pushed in among the crowd, and I got a pretty good squeezin tu; but I got a good place, for I could elbow it as well as any on ^em. And I had n't been there five minutes, seem- ingly, before we had a Governor sure enough; and a good stout, genteel looking sort of a man he was tu, as you would see in a whole regiment, taking in captains and all. Nobody disputed that he was fin- ished pretty workmanlike; and he ought to be, for they 'd been long enough about it. So they con- cluded to swear him in, as they call it, and he took a great oath to behave hke a Governor a whole year. Some say the wheels of government will go along smooth and easy now, as a wheel-barrow across a brick yard; but some shake their heads, and say the wheels will be jolting over rocks and stumps all winter yet; and I dont know but they will, for the Governor had n't hardly turned his back upon 'em and gone out, before they went right to disputing agin as hard as ever. I was a good mind to run out and call the Governor back to still 'em. But I could n't tell where to look for him, so they got clear of a drubbing that time. I know he 'd a gin it to 'em if he 'd been there; for what do you think was the MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 69 first thing they went to disputing about? It was how many Governor's speeches they should print this winter; jest as if the Governor could n't tell that himself. Some wanted three hundred, and some five hundred, and some seven or eight hundred. Finally they concluded to print five hundred; and I should think that was enough in all conscience, if they are all going to be as long as that one they printed in the Courier^'yesterday. In the next place, they took up that everlasting dispute about Mr. Roberts' having a seat; for if you '11 believe me, they 've kept that poor man standing there till this time. I'll tell you how tis. Cousin Ephraim, we must con- trive some way or other to keep these Jacksonites and Huntonites owt of the Legislator another year, or we shall be ruin'd; for they make pesky bad work, trig- ing the wheels of government. They've triged 'em so much that they say it has cost the State about fij- teen thousand dollars a'ready, more than 'twould, if they had gone along straight without stopping. So you may tell uncle Joshua that besides that bushel of corn he lost in betting about the Speaker, he'll have to shell out as much as tivo bushels more to pay the cost of triging the wheels. Jingoe! sometimes when I've seen the wheels chocked with a little trig not bigger than a cat's head, and the whole legislator trying with all their might two or three days, and could'nt start it a hair, how I've longed to hitch on my little speckled four-year-olds, and give 'em a pull; if they wouldn't make the wheels fly over the trigs in a jifiy, I wont guess agin. 'Tother day in the great convention, when both Legislators met together to chuse some Counsellors, Mr. Boutelle and Mr. Smith of Nobleborough tried to explain how 'twas the wheels of government were trig'd so much. Mr. Boutelle, as I have told you a-fore, is a national republican, and Mr. Smith is a democratic republican. They dif- fered a little in their opinion. Mr. Boutelle seemed to 70 ^ LETTERS OF think the trigs were all put under by 07ie class of poli- ticians, and trom what he said, I took it he meant the Jacksonites. He said ever since the Leojislater be- gan, the moment they started the wheels, that class of politicians would throw under a chock and stop 'em; and which ever way they turned, that class of politicians would meet 'em at every corner and bring 'em up all standin. Mr. Smith seemed to think another class of politicians had the greatest hand in it, and it was pretty clear that he meant the Huntonites. He said when they first got here, that class of politicians sot the wheels of government rolling the wrong waij; they put the big wheels forward, and the Legislater had been going backwards ever since, jest like a lob- ster. And the Huntonites not only trig'd the wheels, whenever they begun to roll the right way; but as soon as the ' blessed Governor ' was done they trig'd him tu; and though he had been done four days, they wouldn't let him come into the Legislater so that their eyes could be blest with the sight of him. So from what I can find out, the Jacksonites and Huntonites both, are a troublesome contrary set, and there must be some way contrived to keep 'em out of the Legis- later in future. It seems soon after you got my first letter, uncle Joshua tackled up, and started off to Boston with a load of turkeys and apple-sauce. I had a letter from him t'other day, as long as all out doors, in the Boston Advertiser. He says he got more for the turkeys than he expected tu; but I think it's a plaguy pity he did'nt bring 'em to Portland. I know he'd got more than he could in Boston. Provision kind is getting up here wonderfully, on account of these Legislaters being likely to stay here all winter; and some think they'll be here half the summer tu. And then there's sich a cloud of what they call lobby members and office hunters, that the butchers have got frightened, and gone to buying up all the beef and pork they can MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 71 get hold on far and near, for they are afraid a famine will be upon us next. Howsomever, uncle Joshua did well to carry his ' puckery apple-sauce ' to Boston. He could 'nt get a cent for't here; for every body's puckery and sour enough here now. Give my love to father and mother and cousin Nabby. I shall answer their letters as soon as I can. Your lovin Cousin. JACK DOWNING. LETTER X. In which Mr. Downing advises his uncle Joshua to hold on to his bushel of corn, because the Legislature had begun to ' rip up their duins.' Portland, Friday, Feb. 12, 1830. Postcript to uncle Joshua. fCT' THIS WITH CARE AND SPEED. Dear Uncle, — If you have'nt paid over that are bushel of corn yet, that you lost when you bet Mr. Ruggles would be Speaker, hold on to it for your life, till you hear from me agin, for I aint so clear but you may save it yet. They've gone to rippin up their duins here, and there's no knowing but they may go clear back to the beginning and have another tug about Speaker. At any rate, if your bushel of corn is'nt gone out of your crib yet, I advise you by all means to keep it there. Tell 'squire N. the question is'nt settled yet; and you wont shell out a single kernel till it is fairly nailed and clinched, so it can't be ript up agin. I'll tell you what tis, uncle Josh, the Supreme Court beats the Jacksonites and Huntonites all hollow for trigging the wheels. You know after they had such a tussle for 72 LETTERS OF about a week to choose Elder Hall President of the Sinnet, and after he come in at last all hollow, for they said he had a majority of eight out of sixteen, they went on then two or three weeks nicely, duin business tie and tie, hard as they could. Then up steps the Judges of the Supreme Court and tells Mr. Hall he was governor, and ought to go into the Council Chamber. They seemed to be a little bit thunder struck at first. But they soon come to agin, and Elder Hall got out of the chair and Mr. Kingsbury got into it, and they jogged along another week, duin business as hard as ever. They said all the chairs round the table ought to be filled, so they changed works with the House and made four more Sinneters. So having four good fresh hands come in, they took hold in good earnest and turned off* more business in two days, than they had done in a month before. Then up steps the Supreme Court agin and tells 'em their cake is all dough; for they hadn't been duin constitutional. This was yesterday: and it made a dreadful touse. They went right to work rippin up and tarrin away what they'd been duin; and before nine o'clock in the evening they turned out the four new Sinneters, out of their chairs and appointed a committee to begin to make four more. They took hold so hash about it, I spose some the rest of the Sinneters begun to be afraid they should be ript up tu; so they clear'd out, I guess near about half on 'em, and have n't been seen nor heard of to-day. Some of 'em that had more courage went in and tried to du business; but there wasn't enough of 'em to start an inch. They sent a man all round town in the forenoon and afternoon to tell 'em to come in and go to work, but he could n't find hide nor hair of one of 'em. Elder Hall said he guessed they must be some- where in a convention. Some say they'll rip up the new Councillors next, and then the Governor, cause the new Sinneters helpt MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 73 make 'em all. But there's one comfort left for us, let the cat jump which way 'twill; if Mr. Hunton is 'nt a constitutional Governor, Elder Hall is; the Judges have nailed that fast. So I think Bill John- son will get off with a whole skin, for I shant dare to flog him this year. If they go clear back to the Speaker, and decide it in favor of your bushel of corn, I shall let you know as soon as possible. Your lovin neffu, JACK DOWNING. LETTER XI. In which Mr. Downing describes some queer duins in the Senate. [J\'ote by the Editor. Tlie democratic republicans insisted that the Convention which filled the vacancies in the Senate was not constitutional, and refused to recognise the new members at the Board, and the President refused to count their votes. After considerable turmoil the four new Senators withdrew ; in consequence of which several others of the same party withdrew also, so that there was not a quorum left to do business. After two or three days, hovvever, they returned, and the new sena- tors re-asserted their claims to a seat. Great confusion ensued ; the President refused to count their votes ; and taking the votes of the other members, he declared the Senate adjourned. The national republicans refused to consider it an adjournment, kept their seats, and began to talk of re-organizing the Senate by choosing a new President. Elder Hall, therefore, fearing the chair would be immediately filled again if he left it, kept his seat, but still repeatedly declared the Senate adjourned. The particulars of the scene are more minutely described in the fol- lowing letter.] To Cousin Ephraim Downing up in DowningvUle. Portland, Wednesday, Feb. 17, 1830. Dear Cousin Ephraoi, — Here I am yet, and have n't much else to du, so I might as well keep writin to you ; for I spose uncle Joshua 's in a peck 7 74 LETTERS OF of trouble about his bushel of corn. I'm pesky fraid he'll lose it yet; for they dont seem to rip up worth a cent since the first night they begun. The truth was they took hold rather tu hash that night; and rippin up them are four new Sinneters so quick, they scart away four or five more old ones, so they did n't dare to come in again for tu days. And that threw 'em all into the suds, head and ears. It was worse than trig- ging the wheels, for it broke the Sinnet wheel right in tu, and left it so flat, that all Job's oxen never could start it, if they hadn't got it mended again. They tried, and tried, to keep duin something, but they couldn't du the leastest thing. One time they tried to du something with a little bit of a message that was sent to 'em on a piece of paper from the House. The President took it in his hand, and held it up, and asked 'em what was best to du with it. Some of 'em motioned that they'd lay it on the table; but come to consider on it, they found they couldn't according to the constitution, without there was more of 'em to help. They said they couldn't lay it on the table, nor du nothin at all with it. I was afraid the poor old gentleman would have to stand there and hold it till they got the wheel mended agin. But I believe he finally let it drop on the table ; and I spose there was nothin in the constitution against that. They got the wheel mended Monday about eleven er clock, so they could start along a little. But them are four new Sinneters that they ript up Thursday night, come right back agin Monday, and sot down to the great round table; and stood tu it through thick and thin, that they want ript up, and no sich thing. — Well, this kicked up a kind of a bobbery among 'em, so they thought they'd try to journ. The President counted 'em, and said they were journed and might go out. One of the new Sinneters said the President didn't count right, and they want journed a bit; and they must set still and have an overhauling about it. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 75 So they set down agin, all but four or five that put on their hats and great coats and stood backside of the room. The room was chock full of folk slooking on, and the President told 'em the Sinnet was journed and they might as well go out, but they did not seem to keer tu, and they put their hats on and began to lau^yer; and any man that don't get made into a lawyer as fast as possible, I say, is a fool. The whole truth come across my mind then, as quick as a look, why it was that I spent two or three years trying to get an office, and couldn't get one. It was because I wasn't a lawyer. And I dont believe I should have got an office to this day, if my good friend President Jackson hadn't found out I was a brave two fisted chap, and jest the boy to go down to Madawaska and flog the British. We've agreed unanimouslij to support Governor Smith for re-election; and he'll come in all hollow, let the Jacksonites and Huntonites say what they will about it. Our party know too well which side their bread is buttered, to think of being split up this heat. I should write you more to day, but I feel so kind of agitated about these secret sessions,* that I cant hardly hold my pen still. I'm a little afraid " The Legislature about this time held several secret sessions on the subject of the North-Eastern Boundary. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 173 they are intriguing to send on to the President to take my commission away from me. It has been thrown out to me that I ought to be down to Mada- waska, instead of being here all winter. Some have hinted to me that Mr. Clifford has taken a miff against me, because the other day when he was chosen Speaker pro. tem. one of my friends voted for me; and he thinks I was a rival candidate, and means to have me turned out of office if he can. I am your loving friend, CAPT. JACK DOWNING. LETTER XLV. Capt. Downing is in a peck of trouble about the Legis- lature's selling Madawaska to the General Govern- ment to be given up to the British, and sits down and figures up the price. Madawaska, State of Maine, or else Great Britain, I dent know which, March 12, 1832. To the Editor of the Portland Courier — this with care and speed. My dear old Friend, — I cleared out from Au- gusta in such a kind of a whirlwind, that I hadn't time to write you a single word before I left. And I feel so kind of crazy now, I dont know hardly which end I stand upon. I've had a good many head-flaws and worriments in my life time, and been in a great many hobbles, but I never, in all my born days, met with any thing that puzzled me quite so bad as this ere selling Old down here. I fit in the Legislator as long as fighting would do any good, that is, I mean in the caucus, for they wouldn't let me go right into the 15* 174 LETTERS OF Legislate!" in the day time and talk to 'em there, be- cause I was only a lobby member. But jest let them know it, lobby members can do as much as any of 'em on sich kind of business as this. I laid it down to 'em in the caucus as well as I could. I asked 'em if they didn't think I should look like a pretty fool, after marching my company down there, and stand- ing ready all winter to flog the whole British nation the moment any of 'em stept a foot on to our land, if I should now have to march back again and give up the land and all without flogging a single son-of-a-gun of 'em. But they said it was no use, it couldn't be helped: Mr. Netherlands had given the land away to the British, and the President had agreed to do jest as Mr Netherlands said about it, and all we could do now was to get as much pay for it as we could. So I set down and figured it, up a little to see how much it would come to, for I used to cypher to the rule of three when I went to school, and I found it would come to a pretty round sum. There vv^as, in the first place, about two millions of acres of land. This, considerin the timber there was on. it, would certainly be worth a dollar an acre, and that would be two millions of dollars. Then there was Uvo or three thousand inhabitants, say twenty-five hundred; we must be paid for them too, and how much are they worth ? I've read in the newspapers tliat black slaves, at the south, sell for three or four hundred dollars apiece. I should think, then, that white ones ought to fetch eight hundred. This, ficcording to the rule of three, would be two hundred thousand dollars. Then there's the pretty little town of Madawaska that our Legislator made last winter, already cut and dried with town officers all chosen, and every thing ready for the British to use without any more trouble. We ought to have pay for this too, and I should think it was worth ten thousand dollars. And then the town of Madawaspa has chosen Mr. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 175 Lizote to be a representative in the Legislator, and as the British can take him right into the Parliament without choosing him over again, they ought to pay us for that too. Now I have read in the newspapers that it sometimes costs, in England, two hundred thousand dollars to choose a representative to Par- liament, reckoning all the grog they drink and all the money they pay for votes. But I wouldn't be screwing about it, so I put Mr. Lizote down at one hundred thousand dollars. And then I footed up, and found it to be, — For land, including timber, two millions of dollars, $2,000,000 For inhabitants, including women and children, two hundred thousand dollars, 200,000 For the town of Madawaska, officers and all, ten thousand dollars, 10,000 For Mr, Lizote, all ready to go to Par- liament, one hundred thousand dollars, 100,000 Total, $2,310,000 This was a pretty round sum, and I begun to think, come to divide it out, it would be a slice a-piece worth having; especially if we didn't give the Feds any of it, and I supposed we shouldn't, as there wasn't any of 'em there in the caucus to help see about it. ' Li this view of the subject,' I almost made up my mind that we ought to be patriotic enough to give it up, and help the general government out of the hob- ble they had got into. And I was jest a-going to get up and make a speech and tell 'em so, when Mr. McCrate of Nobleborough, and Capt. Smith of West- brook, two of the best fellers in our party, came along and see what I was figuring about, and, says they, Capt. Downing, are you going to sell your country? In a minute I felt something rise right up in my throat, that felt as big as an ox-yoke. As soon as 176 LETTERS OF I got SO I could speak, says I, JVo, never, while my name is Jack Downing, or my old rifle can carry a bullet. They declared too, that they wouldn't sell out to the 'general government, nor the British, nor nobody else. And we stuck it out most of the even- ing, till we found out how it was going, and then we cleared out, and as soon as the matter was fairly set- tled, I started off for Madawaska; for I was afraid if my company should hear of it before I got there, it would make a blow up among 'em, and I should have to court-martial 'em. When I first told 'em how the jig was up with us, that the British were going to have the land, without any fighting about it, I never see fellows so mad before in my life, unless it was Major Eaton at Washington when he sot out to flog Mr. Ingham. They said if they could only have had one good battle, they would n't care a snap about it, but to be played tom-fool with in this way they wouldn't bear it. They were so mad, they hopped right up and down, and declared they never would go back till they had been over to Fredericton and pulled the jail down, or thrashed some of the l^ew Brunswick boys. But, after a while, I pacified 'em by telling 'em if we didn't get a chance to fight here, I rather thought we might away off to Georgia, for there was something of a bobbery kick- ing up, and if the President should want troops to go on there, I was very sure my company would be one of the first he would send for. So here we are, lying upon our arms, not knowing what to do. I have written to the President, and hope to hear from him soon. If the land is to go, I want to know it in season to get oft" before it's all over; for I'll be hanged if ever I'll belong to the British. Your distrest friend, CAPT. JACK DOWNING. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 177 LETTER XLVI. Capt. Downing declines the office of Mayor of Portland. Portland, State of Maine, April 10, 1832. To the citizens of Portland. When I arrived in this city, last night, from Mad- awaska, jest after the hubbub was over about the election, I was informed some of my friends in Ward No. 7, had voted for me for Mayor, I believe the votes are put in the papers long v/ith the scattering votes, as I see they dont publish my name. Now the upshot ont is, I cant take that are office, I've got so much other business to attend to. And so I take this opportunity to declare that I absolutely decline being a candidate. I have a great regard for the citizens of Portland, for it was they that first gave me a boost up towards an office, and I should be very glad to do any thing for 'em that I could; but I must beg to be excused from being Mayor this year. I am with respect, CAPT. JACK DOWNING. 178 LETTERS OF LETTER XLVII. In which Capt. Downing relates a confidential conver- sation with President Jackson vjhile on a journey to Tennessee. Washington City, October 20, 1832. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, away down east iti the State of Maine : [ O dear, seems to me I never shall get there again.] Mr DEAR OLD Friend, — I have n't done anything this three months that seemed so natural as to set down and write to you. To write the name of the Portland Conner raises my sperits right up. It makes me feel as if I was again talking with you, and uncle Joshua, and cousin Ephrairn, and cousin Nabby, and ant Sally, and all of 'em. I and Presi- dent Jackson got back here yesterday from Tennes- see, where we've been gone most all summer. And a long journey we've had of it too. I thought that from here to Portland was a dreadful ways, but it's a great deal further to Tennessee. I did n't think be- fore that our country was half so large as I find it is. It seems as if there was no end to it; for when we got clear to Tennessee the President said we want half way acrost it. I could n't hardly believe him, but he stood tu it we want. Why, says he, Jack, I've got the largest country in the world, and the hardest to govern tu. Say what you will of free governments, where folks will act pretty much as they are a mind to, it's the hardest work to adminis- ter it that ever I did. I had rather fight forty ]Vew Orleans battles than to govern this everlasting great country one year. There are so many, you see, want to have a finger in the pye, it's the most diffi- cult business you can imagine. You thought you had a tou{(h time of it, Jack, to take care of them MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 179 are small matters down to Madawaska last winter, with your brave company of Downingville boys. But that's no more than a drop in the bucket to being President one montli. I tell you, Jack, there is n't a monarch in Europe who has so hard a time of it as I have. There are so many cooks, the broth most always comes out rather bad. If I have to write a message, one must put in a sentence, and another a sentence, and another, till it gets so at last I can't hardly tell whether I've written any of it myself or not. And sometimes I have a good mind to throw it all in the fire and say nothing at all. But then again that wont do, for since I've undertaken to be Presi- dent, I must go through with it. And then there was such a pulling and hauling for offices along in the outset, it seemed as though they would pull me to pieces. If I gave an office to one, Mr. Ingham or Mr. Branch would be mad, and if I gave it to an- other Mr. Van Buren would n't like it, and if I gave it to another, perhaps Mrs. Eaton would make a plaguy fuss about it. One wanted me to do this thing and another wanted me to do that; and it was nothing but quarrel the whole time. At last Mr. Van Buren said he'd resign, if I would turn the rest out. So I made a scattering among 'em and turned 'em all out in a heap. All but Mr. Lewis and Mr. Ken- dall who staid to give me their friendly advice and help me through my trying difficulties. And then again to be so slandered as I have been in the papers, it is enough to wear the patience of Job out. And if I got a little angry at the con- trariness of the Senate, they must needs call me a ' roaring lion,' the rascals. But that Senate did use me shamefully. The very best nominations I made, they always rejected. To think the stupid heads should reject Mr. Van Buren, decidedly the greatest man in the country, it was too provoking. Yes, Mr. Van Buren is the first man in this country, and jest 180 LETTERS OP between you and me, Jack, he's the only man in it that is well qualified to succeed me in the govern- ment of this great nation of twenty-four republics. And he must come in too, or the country wont be worth a stiver, much longer. There's Clay, he would make pretty work of it, if he should come in. Why, Jack, he would gamble one half of the country away in two years, and spend the other half in dig- ging Canals and building rail-roads; and when the funds in the Treasury failed he would go to the United States Bank and get more. Calhoun would break the Union to pieces in three months if he was President. He's trying all he can now to tear off something of a slice from it at the south. And as for Wirt, he's a fiddling away with the Anti-masons. Letting Anti-masonry alone, he's a pretty good sort of a man; but he has n't energy enough to steer our crazy ship of state in these stormy times. I would sooner trust it in the hands of Mrs. Eaton than him. There's no one fit for it but Mr. Van Buren ; and if it was not for getting him in I would n't have consented to stand for an- other term. But, my dear friend, by stopping to tell you some of the conversation I and the President had along the road, I have almost forgot to tell you any thing about myself and the thousand things I met with on my journey. But I can not write any more to- day. I expect to start from here Monday on my way to Portland. You may hear from me a few times before I get there, as I shall stop along by the way some to see how matters go in Pennsylvany and New York. If you have a chance, send my love to all my folks up at Downingville, and tell 'em old Jack is alive and hearty. I remain your loving friend, CAPT. JACK DOWNING. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 181 LETTER XLVIII. Imohich Capt. Downing runs an Express from Baity more to Washington, and foots it through Pennsyl- vany avenue to the President's house. Washington City, Nov. 5, 1832. To the editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church bmldrnTsdltory, eastern end, Fore Street, Portland, away down elist, in the State of Maine. My dear old Friend.— Here I am back again to Washington, though I've been as far as Baltimore on my way down east to see you and the rest of my uncles and aunts and couzins. And what do you think I posted back to Washington for? I can tell vou When I got to Baltimore I met an express com'ing on full chisel from Philadelphia, to carry the news to Washington that Pennsylvania had gone all hollow for Old Hickory's second election. The poor fellow that was carrying it had got so out of breath, that he declared he couldn't go no further if the President never heard of it. , , ^ Well thinks I, it will be worth a journey back to Washino-ton, jest to see the old gineral's eyes strike fire when he hears of it. So says I, I'll take it and carry it on for you if you are a mmd to. He kind ot hesitated at first, and was afraid I might play a trick upon him; but when he found out my name was Jack Downincr, he jumped off his horse quick enough; 1 11 trust it with you, says he, as quick as I would with the President himself. So I jumped on and whipped up And sure enough, as true as you are alive, 1 did get to W^ashington before dark, though I had but three hours to go it in, and its nearly forty miles. It was the smartest horse that ever I backed, except one that belongs to the President. But, poor fellow, he s so done tu I guess he'll never run another express. Jest before I got to Washington, say about two miles 16 182 LETTERS OP from the city, the poor fellow keeled up and could n't go another step. I had lost my hat on the way and was too much in a hurry to pick it up, and he had thrown me off twice and torn my coat pretty bad, so that I did n't look very trig to go through the city or go to the President's fine house. But notwithstand- ing, I knew the President would overlook it, consid- erin the business I was coming upon; so I catched the express and pulled foot, right through Pennsyl- vany Avenue, without any hat, and torn coat sleeves and coat tail flying. The stage offered to carry me, but I thought I wouldn't stop for it. Almost the first person I met was Mr. Duff Green. Says he, Capt. Downing, what's the matter? I held up the express and shook it at him, but never an- swered him a word, and pulled on. He turned and walked as fast as he could without running, and fol- lowed me. Pretty soon I met Mr. Gales of the In- telligencer, and says he, for mercy sake, Captain Downing, what's the matter? Have you been chased by a wolf, or Governor Houston, or have you got news from Pennsylvania? I did n't turn to the right nor left, but shook the express at him and run like wild-fire. When I came up to the President's house, the old gentleman was standing in the door, He stepped quicker than I ever see him before, and met me at the gate. Says he, my dear friend Downing, what's the matter? Has the United States Bank been trying to bribe you, and you are trying to run away from 'em? They may buy over Webster and Clay and such trash, but I knew if they touched you they would get the wrong pig by the ear. As he said this, Duff Green hove in sight, pufhng and blowing, full speed. Oh, said the President, Duff Green wants to have a lick at you, does he? Well dont retreat another step, Mr. Downing, I'll stand between you and harm. Upon that he called his boy and told him to bring his n cc M O CO C r" MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 185 pistols in a moment. By this time I made out to get breath enough jest to say Pennsylvany, and to shake the express at him. The old man's color changed in a minute. Says he, come in, Mr. Downing, come in, set down, dont say a word to DufF. So in we went, and shut the door. Now, says the President, looking as though he would route a regiment in five minutes, now speak and let me know whether I am a dead man or alive. Gineral, says I, its all over with 1 wont hear a word of it, says he, stomping his foot. His eyes flashed fire so that I trembled and almost fell back- v/ards. But I see he did n't understand me. Dear gineral, says I, its all over with Clay and the Bank — at that he clapt his hands and jumpt up like a boy. I never see the President jump before, as much as I've been acquainted with him. In less than a min- ute he looked entirely like another man. His eyes were as calm and as bright as the moon jest coming out from behind a black thunder cloud. He clenched my hand and gave it such a shake, I did n't know but he would pull it off. Says he. Jack, I knew Pennsylvany never would desert me, and if she has gone for me I'm safe. And now if I dont make them are Bank chaps hug it, my name is n't Andrew Jackson. And after all. Jack, I aint so glad on my own account, that I'm re-elected, as I am for the country and Mr. Van Buren. This election has all been on Mr. Van Buren's account; and we shall get him in now to be President after me. And you know, Jack, that he's the only man after me, that's fit to govern this country. • The President has made me promise to stop and spend the night with him, and help him rejoice over the victory. But I have n't time to write any more before the mail goes. Your loving friend, CAPT. JACK DOWNING. 16* 186 LETTERS OF LETTER XLIX. In which Capt. Downing receives aMajor^s commission, and is appointed to march against the jYuUijiers. Washington City, Dec. 8, 1832. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church building, second story, eastern end. Fore Street, Portland, away down east, in the State of Maine. My dear old Friexd. — I believe the last time I wrote to you, was when I come back with the express from Baltimore, and Duff Green chased me so through the street to find out what I was bringing, and the President thought he was running to get a lick at me, and called for his pistols to stand between me and harm, you know. Well, I intended to turn right about again after I had made the old gentleman's heart jump up by telling him that he had got Penn- sylvany and would be elected as sure as eggs was bacon, and make the best of my way towards Port- land. For you cant think how I long to see you and uncle Joshua and ant Kesiah and cousin Ephraim and cousin Nabby and all the res't of the dear souls up in Downingville. It seems as though it was six years instead of six months since I left that part of the country, and when I shall be able to get back again is more than I can tell now; for I find when a man once gets into public life he never can say his time is his own; he must always stand ready to go where his country calls. The long and the short of it is, the President has got so many other fish for me to fry, it's no use for me to think of going home yet. That evening after I got back with the express, the Presi- dent said we must honor this victory in Pennsylvany with a glass of wine. I am sure, said he, Capt. Downing, you will have no objection to take a glass with me on this joyful occasion. I told him as for MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 187 that matter, I supposed I could take a glass of wine upon a pinch, even if the occasion was not half so joyful. So he had two or three bottles full brought in, and filled up the glasses. And now, says the President, I will give you a toast. The state of Penn- sylvania, the most patriotic State in the Union; for though I go against all her great public interests, still she votes for me by an overwhelming majority. He then called for my toast. And what could I give but my dear native Downingville; the most gen- uine unwavering democratic republican town in New England. Good, said the President; and that Downingville has never been rewarded yet. You shall have a Post Office established there, and name to me which of your friends you would like should be Post Master, and he shall be appointed. The President than gave his second toast; Martin Van Buren, the next President of the United States, and the only man in the country that is fit for it. Capt. Downing, your toast if you please. So I gave Uncle Joshua Downing, the most thorough going republican in Downingville. Good, said the President, I understand you, Cap- tain Downing; your Uncle Joshua shall have the Post Office. His third toast was the editor of the Washington Globe; and mine was the editor of the Portland Cou- rier. But I told him he mustn't ask me for any more toasts, for that was as fur as I could go. The President toasted several more of his friends, sich as Major Eaton, and Mr. Kendall, and Mr. Lewis, and the Hon. Isaac Hill, and so on, till it got to be pretty late in the evening, and I told the Pres- ident I would be glad if he would excuse me, for I wanted to start early in the morning on my way down east, and I thought I should feel better if I could get a little nap first. And besides I had got to go and get 188 LETTERS OF the old lady that used to do my washing and mending, to patch up my coat that got such a terrible ship- wreck by being thrown off the horse with the express. Start down east to-morrow morning, Capt. Down- ing, said he, you must not think of it. I have an im- portant and delicate job on hand which I cant get along with very well without your assistance. There's that miserable ambitious Calhoun has been trying this dozen years to be President of the United States; but he can't make out, so now he is determined to lop off a few of the southern States and make himself President of them. But if he don't find himself mis- taken my name is n't Andrew Jackson. As he said this he started up on his feet, and begun to march across the floor with a very soldier-like step, and his eyes fairly flashed fire. No, said he, Capt. Downing, he must wait till somebody else is President besides me before he can do that. Let him move an inch by force in this business, if he dares. I'll chase him as far beyond Tennessee as it is from here there, but what I'll catch him and string him up by the neck to the first tree I can find. I must send some troops out there to South Caro- lina to reconnoitre and keep matters strait, and your gallant defence of Madawaska last winter points you out as the most suitable man to take the command. — I shall give you a Major's commission to-morrow, and wish you to enlist two or three companies of brave volunteers and hold yourself in readiness to obey or- ders. In case we should have to come to a real brush, said the President, I shall take command myself, and make you Lieutenant General. But I wish you to bear in mind, let what will come, never to shoot that Calhoun. Shooting is too good for him. He must dance upon nothing with a rope round his neck. As for your coat, Capt. Downing, dont trouble the old lady with it. It looks as though it had seen ser- vice enough already. I'll give you one of mine to MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 189 wear till you have time to get a suit of regimentals made. I told him I felt a little uneasy about taking the command among strangers, unless I could have my Dovvningville company with me. Send for them, said the President, by all means, send for them. There are no troops equal to them except it is some of the boys from Tennessee. So I shall forthwith send orders to Sargeant Joel to march 'em on here. As I am to have my commission to-morrow, I shall venture to subscribe myself your friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER L. In which uncle Joshua tells what a tussle they had in Downingville to keep the Federalists from praising the President's Proclamation against the JSulliJiers. Downingville, State of Mame, Dec. 27, 1832. To Major Jack Downing, at Washington City, or if he is gone to South Carolina I want President Jackson to send this along tu him. My dear Neffu,— We had almost gin you up for dead, you had been gone so long, before we got your letter in the Portland Courier telling how you had been away to Tennessee along with President Jackson. Your poor mother had pined away so that she had nothing left, seemingly, but skin and bones, and your cousin Nabby had cried her eyes half out of her head, poor girl. But when the Portland Courier came bringing that are letter of yourn, Downingville was in a complete uproar all day. Sargent Joel had come home from Madawaska and dismissed your company, and gone to work in the woods chopping 190 LETTERS OF wood. But as soon as he heard your letter had come, he dropped his ax, and I dont think he 's touched it since; and he put on his regimentals and scoured up the old piece of a scythe that he used to have for a sword, and stuck it into his waistband, and strutted about as big as a major gineral. Your mother begun to pick up her crums immediately, and has been growing fat ever since. And Nabby run about from house to house like a crazy bed-bug, telling 'em Jack was alive and was agoing to build up Downingville and make something of it yet. We got your last letter and the President's Proc- lamation both together, though I see your letter was written two days first. That Proclamation is a cap- ital thing. You know I 've made politics my study for forty years, and I must say it 's the most ginuine republican thing I ever come acrost. But what was most provoking about it, was, all the old federalists in town undertook to praise it tu. Squire Dudley, you know, was always a federahst, and an Adams man tu. I met him the next day after the Proclamation come, and he was chock full of the matter. Says he, Mr. Downing, that Proclamation is jest the thing. It 's the true constitutional doctrine. We all support the President in this business through thick and thin. My dander began to rise, and I could not hold in any longer. Says I, squire Dudley, shut up your clack, or I '11 knock your clam-shells together pretty quick. It 's got to be a pretty time of day indeed, if after we 've worked so hard to get President Jack- son in, you Federalists are going to undertake to praise his proclamation as much as though he was your own President. You 've a right to grumble and fine fault with it as much as you like; but dont let me hear you say another word in favor of it, if you do I '11 make daylight shine through you. The old man hauled in his horns and meeched off looking shamed enough. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 191 The next day we concluded to have a public meet- ino- to pass resolutions in favor of the Proclamation. I was appointed chairman. The federal party all come flocking round and wanted to come in and help praise the President. We told 'em no; it was our President, and our Proclamation, and they must keep their distance. So we shut the doors and went on with our resolutions. By and by the federal party begun to hurra for Jackson outside the house. At that I told Sargent Joel and your cousin Ephraim and two or three more of the young democrats to go out and clear the coast of them are fellers. And they went out and Sargent Joel drew his piece of a scythe and went at 'em and the federalists run like a flock of sheep with a dog after 'em. So we finished our resolutions without getting a drop of federalism mixed with 'em, and sent 'em on to the President by Sargent Joel. ' He got his company together last week and they filled their knapsacks with bread and sasages and doe-nuts, and started for Washington according to your orders. I was glad to see that hint in your letter about a post office here. W"e need one very much. And if the President should think I ought to have it, being I 've always been such a good friend to him, why you know, Jack, I 'm always ready to serve my country. So I remain your loving Uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING. P. S. If the President should n't say any thing more about the post office, I think you had better name it to him again before you go to South Carolina; for if any thing should happen to you there, he might never do any more about it. 192 LETTERS OF LETTER LI. In which Major Downing describes the arrival of Sar- gent Joel with the Company at Washington. Washington City, Jan. 4, ]833. To my dear Cousin Ephraim Downing, what watches the Leg- islater at Augusta, away down east, in the State of Maine, while I stay here and look arter Congress and the President. Dear Cousin, — Sargent Joel got here day before yesterday with my hearty old company of Downing- ville boys, that went down to Madawaska with me last winter. They cut rather a curious figure march- ing through Pensilvany Avenu. One half of 'em had worn their shoes out so that their toes stuck out hke the heads of so many young turtles, and t'other half had holes through their knees or elbows, and Sargent Joel marched ahead of 'em swinging his piece of an old scythe for a sword, and inquiring of every one he met for Major Jack Downing. They all told him to keep along till he got to the President's house, which was the biggest house in the city except the Congress house, and there he would find me. I and the Presi- dent were setting by the window in the great east room, looking out and talking about Mr. Calhoun and so on, when the President begun to stare as though he saw a catamount. He started up on his feet, and says he, Major Downing, if my eyes dont deceive me there 's Nulli- fication now coming up Pensilvany Avenu. He be- gun to call for his pistols, and to tell his men to fasten up the doors, when I looked out, and I knew Joel's strut in a minute. Says I, dear Ginneral, that's no nullification, but its what '11 put a stopper on nullifi- cation pretty quick if it once gets to South Carolina. It 's my Downingville Company commanded by Sar- MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 193 trent Joel. At that the President looked more pleased Than I 've seen him before since he got the news of the vote of Pensilvany. He ordered 'em into the east room and gave 'em as much as they could eat and drink of the best the house affords. He has found quarters for 'em in the neighborhood, and says we must be ready to march for South Carolina when- ever he says the word. But I '11 tell you what 't is, cousm Ephraim, 1 begin to grow a little kind of wamble-cropt about going to South Carolina, arter all. If they 've got many such fellers there as one Ginneral Blair there is here from that State, I 'd sooner take my chance in the woods forty miles above Downingville, fightmg bears and wolves and catamounts, than come within gun-shot of one of these Carolina giants. He 's a whaler of a feller, as big as any two men in Down- ingville. They say he weighs over three hundred pounds. About a week ago he met Ginneral DufF Green in the street and he fell afoul of him with a great club and knocked him down, and broke his arm and beat him almost to death, jest because he got mad at something Mr. Green said in his paper. And what makes me feel more skittish about getting into the hands of such chaps, is, because he says he could n't help it. He says all his friends persuaded him not to meddle with Ginneral Green, and he tried as hard as he could to let him alone, but he ' found him- self unequal to the effort.' So Green like to got killed. The folks here sot out to carry him to court about it, but he said he would n't go, and so he armed him- self with four pistols and two dirks and a great knife, and said he 'd shoot the first man that touched him. Last night he went to the Theatre with all his arms and coutrements about him. And after he sot there a spell, and all the folks were looking to see the play 20 on, he draws out one of his pistols and fires it at ^ 17 194 LETTERS OF the players. Then there was a dreadful uproar. They told him he must clear out about the quickest. But he said if they 'd let him alone he 'd behave like a gentleman. So they went on with the play again. By and by he draws out another pistol and points it towards the players. At that there was a whole parcel of 'em seized him and dragged him out into another room, big as he was. But pretty soon he got upon his feet, and begun to rave like a mad ox. He pulled off his coat and threw it down, and declar- ed he 'd fight the whole boodle of 'em. The consta- bles were all so frightened they cut and run, and nobody dared to go a near him, till he got cooled down a little, when some of his friends coaxed him away to a tavern. Now as for going to South Caro- lina to fight such chaps as these, I 'd sooner let nul- lification go to grass and eat mullen. Sargent Joel told me when he left Downingville you had jest got loaded up with apples and one thing another to go down to Augusta to peddle 'em out; and that you was a going to stay there while the Legislator folks were there. So I thought it would be a good plan for you and I to write to one another about once a week or so, how matters get along. Give my love to the folks up in Downingville whenever you see 'em. So I remain your loving Cousin, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 19^ LETTER LII. In which Major Doioning gives his opinion about Nulli- fication, and illustrates it with a lucid example. Washington City, Jail. 17, 1833. To the editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church BuUd'nrse^ story, eastern end, Fore street, away down east in the State of Maine. My KIND and dear old Friend,— The President's Message to Congress makes cracking work here. Mr Calhoun shows his teeth Uke a hon Mr. IVic- Duffie is cool as a cowcumber, though they say he s got aterible tempest inside of him, that he 11 let out before long. For my part I think the President s Message is about right. I was setting with the fre- sident in the east room last night, chatting about one thing and another, and the President says he. Major Downing, have you read my message that I sent to Con-ress to day. I told him I had n't. Well, says he, 1 should like to have you read it and give me your opinion upon it. So he handed it to me and 1 sot down and read it through. And when I got through, now says 1 Crineral 1 11 tell you jest what I think of this ere business. When I was a youngster some of us DowningviUe boys used to go down to Sebago Pond every sprmg and hire out a month or two rafting logs across the Pond And one time I and cousin Ephraim, and Joel, and Bill Johnson, and two or three more of us had each a whapping great log to carry across the Pond. It was rather a windy day and the waves kept the logs bobbing up and down pretty considerable bad, so^we agreed to bring 'em along side and side and lash 'em together and drive some thole-pins in the outermost logs and row 'em over together. We went along two or three miles pretty well. But by and by Bill 196 LETTERS OF Johnson begun to complain. He was always an un- easy harumscarum sort of a chap. Alv/ays thought every body else had an easier time than he had, and when he was a boy, always used to be complaining that the other boys had more butter on their bread than he had. Well, Bill was rowing on the leward side, and he begun to fret and said his side went the hardest, and he would n't give us any peace till one of us changed sides with him. Well Bill had n't rowed but a little ways on the windward side before he began to fret again, and declared that side went harder than 'tother, and he wouldn't touch to row on that side any longer. We told him he had his choice, and he should n't keep changing so. But he only freted the more and begun to get mad. At last he declared if we did n't change with him in five minutes, he'd cut the lashings and take his log and paddle off alone. And before we had hardly time to turn round, he declared the five minutes were out, and up hatchet and cut the lashings, and away went Bill on his own log, bobbing and rolling about, and dancing like a monkey to try to keep on the upper side. The rest of us scrabbled too as well as we could, and fastened our logs together again, though we had a tuff match for it, the wind blew so hard. Bill had n't gone but a little ways before his log begun to role more and more, and by and by in he went splash, head and ears. He came up puffing and blowing, and got hold of the log and tried to climb up on to it, but the more he tried the more the log rolled; and finding it would be gone goose with him pretty soon if he staid there, he begun to sing out like a loon for us to come and take him. We asked him which side he would row if we would take his log into the raft again. O, says Bill, I'll row on either side or both sides if you want me to, if you'll only come and help me before I sink. But, said the President, I hope you did n't help MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 197 the foolish rascal out till he got a pretty good soaking. He got soaked enough before we got to him, says 1, for he was jest ready to sink for the last time and our lofTs come pesky near getting scattered, and it they hlid, we should all gone to the bottom together. And now Gineral, this is jest what I think: if you let South Carolina cut the lashings you'll see such a log-rolling in this country as you never see yet. The old Gineral started up and marched across the floor like a boy. Says he, Major Downing she sha'nt cut the lashings while my name is Andrew Jackson. Tell Sargent Joel to have his company sleep on their arms every night. I told him they should be ready at a moment's warning. I wish you would jest give cousin l^phraim up to Augusta a jog to know why he dont write to me and let me know how the Legislator is getting along. I remain your loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LIII. In which cousin Ephraim tells the Major how matters get along at Augusta, and gives a specimen oj the value of political promises. Augusta, State of Maine, Jan. 30, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, that we take up in Downingville : dear sir, 1 want you to send this on o cousin Jack to Washington City, 'cause he told me you would send it and not charge any postage. To Major Jack Downing. Dear cousin Jack,— I got your letter some time ago, but I had n't time to answer it afore now, be- cause I had to go back up to Downingville to get an- other load of apples. These Legislator folks cronch 17* 198 LETTERS OF apples down by the wholesale between speeches, and sometimes in the middle of speeches tu. That arternoon that Mr. Clark spoke all day, I guess I sold nigh upon a half a bushel for cash, and trust- ed out most three pecks besides. The folks up to Downingville are all pretty well, only your poor old mother; she 's got the reumatics pretty bad this win- ter. She says she wishes with all her heart Jack would come home, and not think of going to South Carolina. Ever since she heard about Ginneral Blair she cant hardly sleep nights, she 's so afraid you '11 get shot. I tell her there 's no danger of you as long as you have President Jackson one side of you and Sargent Joel 'tother. The Legislator is jogging along here pretty well; I guess they '11 get through about the first of March, if they dont have too many boundary questions come along. We made some Major Ginnerals here 'tother day, and I tried to get you elected. Not because I thought you cared much about the office now, but jest for the honor of Downingville. I tried most all the members, and thought to be sure you would come in as slick as greese. For about forty of 'em told me they thought it belonged to you. They said it was against their principles to pledge their votes to any body ; but they whispered in my ear that they would do what they could, and they had n't scarcely a doubt but what you 'd be elected. Sixty-eight of 'em told me you was the best man for it, and would un- doubtedly be chosen as a mattter of course. And twenty-five of 'em promised me right up and down by the crook of the elbow, that they would vote for you. Well Jack, after all this, you did n't get but two votes. By that time I begun to think it was n't so strange that it took you two years hard fishing before you could get an office. This is the most democratic Legislater that they MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 199 have ever had in this state yet. They are most all real ginuine democrats, and they have give Mr. Holmes and Mr. Sprague a terrible basting for being federalists, and they have turned Mr. Holmes out and put Mr. Shepley in. The Legislater is talking of moving the seat of gov- ernment back to Portland again. They say it will be better all round. They wont have to go so fur through the snow-drifts to their boarding houses, and wont have to pay much more than half so much for their board. And here they have to pay four pence apiece every time they are shaved ; but in Portland they can get shaved by the half dozen for three cents apiece. I hope they will go, for I can get more for my apples in Portland than I can here. P. S. Bill Johnson was married last week, and he quarrelled with his wife the very next day. So you see he is the same old sixpence he used to be. He says he '11 send a petition to the Legislater to be divorced, and he declares if they don't grant it, he '11 cut the lashings as he did once on the raft on Sebago Pond, sink or swim. N. B. Uncle Joshua wished me to ask you to ask the President about that post office again, as his com- mission has n't come yet. I remain your loving Cousin, EPHRAIM DOWNING. 200 LETTERS OP LETTER LIV In ichich Major Downing goes up top the Congress house and listens to see if he can hear the guns in South Car- olina, and also has a talk ivith the President, about the slander of the newspapers. [Note. The first of February, 1833, was the day appointed by South Carolina for putting in force her nullifying Ordinance.] Washington City, Feb. 1, 1833. To the editor of the Portland Courier, in Mariners' Church Build- ing, second story, eastern end, Fore Street away down east, in the State of Maine. My dear Friend. — This is nunification clay, and it's most night, and I aint dead yet, and hant been shot at once to-day. I got up this morning as soon as it was light, and went out and looked away towards South CaroHna, and Hstened as hard as I could to see if I could hear the guns crackin and the cannons roarin. But it was all still as a mouse. And I've been up top the Congress house five or six times to- day, and listened and listened, but all the firing I could hear was inside the Congress house itself, where the members were shooting their speeches at each other. I had my company all ready this morning with their dinners in their napsacks, to start as quick as we heard a single gun. We shant go till we hear something from these nullifiers, for the President says he aint agoing to begin the scrape, but if the nullifiers begin it, then the hardest must fend off. Yesterday a friend handed me a couple of papers printed at Hallowell away down pretty near to Augus- ta in the State of Maine, called the American Advo- cate, and I found something in 'em that made me as mad as a March hair. The first one mentioned that Capt. Dow was chosen Mayor of Portland, and then MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 201 said he is the reputed author of the Jack Downing let- ters that have been pubUshed in the Portland Courier. The other paper that was printed two or three days afterwards, said Mr. Dow the new Mayor of Portland is not the author of Jack Downing 's letters; they are written by Mr. Seba Smith, the Editor of the Portland Courier. Now, Mr. Editor, my good old friend, is n't this too bad.^ I have n't come acrost any thing that made me feel so wamble-cropt this good while. Jest as if Major Jack Downing could n't write his own letters. I've been to school, put it altogether, off and on, more than six months; and though I say it myself, I always used to be called the best scholar among all the boys in Downingville, and most always used to stand at the head of my class. I'd been through Web- ster's spelling book before I was fifteen, and before I was twenty I could cypher to the rule of three. And now to have it said that I dont write my own letters, is too bad. It's what I call a rascally shame. I was so boiling over with it last night, that I could 'nt hold in; and so I took the papers and went in and showed them to the President. I always go to the President when I have any difficulty, and when he has any he comes to me; so we help one another along as well as we can. When the President had read it, says he, Major Downing, it's strange to see how this world is given to lying. The public papers are beginning to slander you jest as they always do me. I have n't written scarcely a public document since I've been President, but what it's been laid off to Mr. Van Buren, or Mr. McLane, or Mr. Livingston, or Mr. Taney, or somebody or other. And how to help this slanderous business I dont know. But it's too pro- voking, Major, that's certain. Sometimes I've a good mind to make Congress pass a law that every editor who says I dont write my proclamations and messages, or that you dont write your letters, shall forfeit his 202 LETTERS OF press and types; and if that dont stop him, that he shall be strung up by the neck without Judge or Jury. And now, Mr. Editor, I wish you would jest give that Hallowell man a hint to mind his own p's and q's in future, and look out for his neck. And as you know very well that I do write my own letters, I would thank you jest to tell the public so. I remain your sincere and loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LV. In which Cousin Ephraim explains the science of Land- Speculation. Augusta, State of Maine, March 4, 1833. To Major Jack Downing, at President Jacksoii's house in Washington City. Dear Cousin Jack, — The Legislater folks have all cleared out to-day one arter t'other jest like a flock of sheep; and some of 'em have left me in the lurch ti^^for they cleared out without paying me for my apples. Some of 'em went off in my debt as much as twenty cents, and some ninepence, and a shilling, and so on. They all kept telling me when they got paid off, they'd settle up with me. And so I waited with patience till they adjourned, and thought I was as sure of my money as though it was in the Bank. But, my patience, when they did adjourn, such a hubbub I guess you never see. They were flying about from one room to another, like so many pigeons shot in the head. They run into Mr. Harris' room and clawed the money off of his table, hand over fist. I brustled up to some of 'cm, and tried to settle. I come to one man that owed me twelve cents, and he MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 203 had a ninepence in change, but he wouldn't let me have that, because he should lose a half cent. So, while we were bothering about it, trying to get it changed, the first I knew the rest of 'em had got their money in their pockets and were off like a shot, some of 'em in stages, and some in sleighs, and some footing it. I out and followed after 'em, but 'twas no use; 1 couldn't catch one of 'em. And as for my money, and apples tu, I guess I shall have to whistle for 'em now. Its pesky hard, for I owe four and sixpence here yet for my board, and I've paid away every cent I've got for my apples, and dont know but I shall have to come down with another load to clear out my expenses. Howsomever, you know uncle Joshua always told us never to cry for spilt milk, so I mean to hold my head up yet. I dont know but I shall have to give up retailing apples, I meet with so many head-flaws about it. I was thinking that, soon as the Legislator adjourned, I'd take a load of apples and apple-sass, and a few sassages, and come on to Washington, and go long with your company to South Carolina. But they say Mr. Clay has put a stopper on that nullification busi- ness, so that its ten chances to one you wont have to go. I dont care so much about the apple business after all; for I've found out a way to get rich forty times as fast as I can by retailing apples, or as you can by hunting after an office. And I advise you to come right home, as quick as you can come. Here's a business going on here that you can get rich by, ten times as quick as you can in any office, even if you should get to be President. The President dont have but twenty-five thousand dollars a year; but in this ere business that's going on here, a man can make twenty-five thousand dollars in a week if he's a mind to, and not work hard neither. I spose by this time you begin to feel rather in a 204 LETTERS OP pucker to know what this business is. I'll tell you: but you must keep it to yourself, for if all them are Washington folks and Congress folks should come on here and go to dipping into it, I'm afraid they'd cut us all out. But between you and me, its only jest buying and selling land. Why, Jack, its forty times more profitable than money digging, or any other bu- siness that you ever see. I knew a man here t'other day from Bangor, that made ten thousand dollars, and I guess he want more than an hour about it. Most all the folks here and down to Portland and Bangor have got their fortunes made, and now we are begin- ning to take hold of it up in the country. They've got a slice up in Downingville, and I mis- sed it by being down here selling apples, or I should had a finger in the pie. Uncle Joshua Downing, you know he's an old fox, and always knows where to jump; well, he see how every body was getting rich, so he went and bought a piece of a township up back of Downingville, and give his note for a thousand dollars for it. And then he sold it to uncle Jacob and took his note for two thousand dollars; and uncle Ja- cob sold it to uncle Zackary and took his note for three thousand dollars; and uncle Zackary sold it to uncle Jim, and took his note for four thousand dollars; and uncle Jim sold it to cousin Sam, and took his note for five thousand dollars; and cousin Sam sold it to Bill Johnson, and took his note for six thousand dol- lars. So you see there's five of 'em that want worth ninepence apiece before, have now got a thousand dollars apiece clear, when their notes are paid. And Bill Johnson's going to logging off of it, and they say he'll make more than any of 'em. Come home. Jack, come home by all means, if you want to get rich. Give up your commission, and think no more about being President, or any thing else, but come home and buy land before its all gone. Your loving cousin, EPHRAIM DOWNING. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 205 P. S. Didn't Mr. Holmes and Mr. Sprague look rather blue when they got the resolutions that our Legislater passed, giving them such a mortal whip- ping? LETTER LVI. In which Major Downing tells how Mr. Clay put a stop to that fuss in South Carolina, besides hushing up ■^ome other quarrels. Washington City, March 10, 1833. To the editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church building, 2nd story, eastern end, Fore street, away down east, in the State of Maine, to be sent to Cousin Ephraim Downing, up in Downingville, cause I spose he 's gone home before this time from A ugusta. Dear Cousin Ephraim, — I got your letter this morning. It was a shame for them are Legislater folks to skulk off without paying you for your apples. But they are the worst folks about standing to their word that I know of They've promised me an office more than twenty times, but some how or other, come to the case in hand, their votes always went for some- body else. But I dont care a fig for 'em as long as I've got the President on my side, for his offices are as fat again as the Legislater offices are. The President's offices will support a man pretty well if he does n't do any thing at all. As soon as Mr. Clay's Tariff Bill passed, the President called me into his room, and says he. Major Downing, the nul- lification jig is up. There'll be no fun for you in South CaroUna now, and I guess you may as well let Sargent Joel march the company back to Downing- ville, and wait till somebody kicks up another bobbery somewhere and then I'll send for 'em, for they are 18 206 LETTERS OF the likeliest company I've seen since I went with my Tennesse rangers to New Orleans. And as for you Major Downing, you shall still hold your commission and be under half pay, holding yourself in readiness to march at a moment's warning and to fight when- ever called for. So you see. Cousin Ephraim, I am pretty well to live in the world, without any of your land specula- tions or apple selling down east. I cant seem to see how 'tis they all make money so fast in that land business down there that you tell about. How could all our folks and Bill Johnson and all of 'em there in Downingville make a thousand dollars apiece, jest a trading round among themselves, when there aint fifty dollars in money, put it all together, in the whole town. It rather puzzles me a little. As soon as I see 'em all get their thousand dollars cash in hand, I guess I'll give up my commission and come home and buy some land tu. But at present I think I rather have a bird in the hand than one in the bush. Our Congress folks here cleared out about the same time that your Legislator folks did, and I and the President have been rather lonesome a few days. The old gentleman says I must n't leave him on any account; but I guess I shall start Joel and the company off for Downingville in a day or two. They've got their clothes pretty much mended up, and they look quite tidy. I should 'nt feel ashamed to see 'em marched through any city in the United States. It is n't likely I shall have any thing to do under my commission very soon. For some say there '11 be no more fighting in the country while INIr. Clay lives, if it should be a thousand years. He's got a master knack of pacifying folks and hushing up quarrels as you ever see. He's stopt all that fuss in South Carolina, that you know was jest ready to blow the whole country sky high. He slept up to 'em in Con- MAJOR JACK DOWNING, 207 gress and told 'em what sort of a Bill to pass, and they passed it without hardly any jaw about it. And South Carolina has hauled in her horns, and they say she'll be as calm as a clock now. And that is n't the only quarrel Mr. Clay has stopt. Two of the Senators, Mr. Webster and Mr. Poindexter, got as mad as March hairs at each other. They called each other some pesky hard names, and looked cross enough for a week to bite a board nail off. Well, after Mr. Clay got through with South Carolina, he took them in hand. He jest talked to 'em about five minutes, and they got up and went and shook hands with each other, and looked as loving astv^^o brothers. Then Mr. Holmes got up and went to Mr. Clay, and almost with tears in his eyes asked him if he would n't be so kind as to settle a little difficulty there was between him and his constituents, so they might elect him to come to Congress again. And I believe some of the other Senators asked for the same favor. So as there is likely to be peace now all round the house for some time to come, I'm in a kind of a quan- dary what course to steer this summer. The Presi- dent talks of taking a journey down east this summer, and he wants me to go with him, because I'm ac- quainted there, and can show him all about it. He has a great desire to go as fur as Downingville, and get acquainted with Uncle Joshua, who has always stuck by him in all weathers through thick and thin. The President thinks uncle Joshua is one of the re- publican pillars of New England, and says he shall always have the post office as long as he lives, and his children after him. I rather guess on the whole I shall come on that way this summer with the President. But wherever I go, I shall remain your loving cousin, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 52U» LETTERS OP LETTER LVII. In which Major Downing gives the result of a consulta- tion amongst the government on the question^ whether the President should shake hands with the Federalists during his journey down East. Washington City, April 20, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church building, second story eastern end, Fore Street, away down East in the State of Maine. My Dear Old Friend, — Bein I hant writ to you for some time, I'm afraid you and our folks up in Downingville will begin to feel a little uneasy by and by, so I '11 jest write you a little if it aint but two lines, to let you know how we get on here. I and the President seem to enjoy ourselves pretty well together, though its getting to be a little lonesome since the Congress folks went off, and Sargeant Joel cleared out with my Downingville Company. Poor souls, T wonder if they have got home yet; I have n't heard a word from 'em since they left here. I wish you would send up word to Sargeant Joel to write to me and let me know how they got along. He can send his letter in your Currier, or get uncle Joshua to frank it; either way it wont cost me any thing. Now I think of it, I wish you would jest ask cousin Nabby to ask uncle Joshua to frank me on two or three pair of stockings, for mine have got ter- ribly out at the heels. He can do it jest as well as not; they make nothing here of franking a bushel basket full of great books to the western States. And they say some of the members of Congress used to frank their clothes home by mail to be washed. I and the President are getting ready to come on that way this summer. We shall come as far as Portland, and I expect we shall go up to Downing- ville; for the President says he must shake hands with uncle Joshua before he comes back, that faithful old MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 209 when we come that way. J.ii«y ^<^y . „ Massachusetts want to keep the P^-f^*/!^^^ hPtnselves when he comes there. But Mr. v an Bu en says That '11 never do; he must stick to the ±5uren ^^.y^ ""; , ^ake hands with a fed- ■^'Tronce infwMe Tthe democrats dont see him ston advise him tother way. They ^eH n^^ ii hXr treat the federalists pretty civil, and shake S w.lh Mr. Webster as quick as he wouH w^^ America He's got the beat'em-est tongue that ever iTee if you had a black hat on, he could go to LlMng to /ou and in ten minutes he could make you *'aive mrC'et our folks up in Downingvi.le wh^n you have a chance to send it to 'em, and believe me your old friend, ^^^^ ^^^^ DOWNING. 210 LETTERS OP LETTER LVIII. In which Major Downing defends the President from the assault of Lieut. Randoljoh on board the Steam- boat Cygnet. On board tlie Steam-boat Cj^gnet, near tlie city of Alexan- dria, down a little ways below Washington, May the Gth, 1833. To tlie Editor of the Portland Courier in the Mariners' Church Building, '^d story, Eastern end, Fore-street, away down East, in the State of Maine. My dear OLf) Friexd. — We've had a kind of a hurly burly time here to-day. I did n't know but we should burst the biler one spell; and some of us, as it was, got scalding hot. You see, I and the Presi- dent and a few more gentlemen got into the steam- boat this morning to go round into old Virginny to help lay the foundation of a monument, so they should n't forget who Washington's mother was. W^hen we got down along to Alexandria, the boat hauled up to the side of the wharf awhile to let some more folks get in, and while she lay there, I and the President and a few more of 'em sot in the cabin reading and chatting with one another. The Presi- dent had jest got through reading a letter from uncle Joshua Downing, urging him very strongly to come up as fur as Downingville when he conies on that way. And says he. Major Downing, this uncle Joshua of yours is a real true blue republican as I know of any where. I would n't miss seeing him when I go down east for a whole year's salary. Says I, your honor, Downingville is the most thorough going republican town there is any where in the eastern country; and you ought not to come back till you have visited it. Jest as I said that there was a stranger came into the cabin and stept along up to the President, and begun to pull off his MAJOR JACK DOWxNiNG. 211 Move I thought there was some mischief bruing, hLohrL was tryin" to get his gloves off to shake &w.th M^,! Ld the^ood old -„ 's ahvays , i-padvto shake hands with a fnend; so he leached out L hand to him and smiled, and told l„m never to stand for the gloves, and the words want hardly out of his mouth^when dab went one of the fellow's hands slan into the President's face. ?„ a moment I levelled my umbrella at the villain s head and came pesky near fetchmg him to the tioo,. Tvvo more gentlemen then clenched him by the collar and had him down as quick as ever you see a beef :" knocked down with an ax. In a minute there was a crowd round him as thick as a swarm of bees. BuT, my stars, I wish you could have seen the President jest at that minute. If you ever see a lion Wing down asleep and a man come along with a great club%nd hit him a polt with all his might, and then see that lion spring on his feet, and see the fire flah in his eyes, and hear him roar and gnash his eeth you might give some sort of a guess what kind of a harrvcane we had of it. „„ , ¥he old Gineral no sooner felt the fellow's paw m his face than he sprung like a steel-trap, and catched his cane and went at him. But there was such a crowd of men there in an instant, that it was as much impossible to get through 'em as it was for t 'e Butish to get through his pile of cotton wool bags at New- Oifeans If it had n't been for that, I dont think but he would have kicked the feller through the side of the steam-boat in two minutes. , , i, i„j However, somehow or other the rascal go hussled out of the boat on to the wharf and fled I'ke a dog that had been stealing sheep. They have sent some officers after him, but where they will overtake him nobody knows. 212 LETTERS OF The President has got cleverly cooled down again, and we are going on to lay the foundation of the monument. My love to all the good folks up in Downingville. In haste your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LIX. In which Major Downing shakes hands for the Presi- dent at Philadelphia, while on the grand tour down East. To Uncle Joshua Downing, Post Master, up in Downingville, in the State of Maine. This to be sent by my old friend, the Editor of the Portland Courier, with care and speed. Philadelphia, June 10, 1833. Dear Uncle Joshua, — We are coming on full chisel. I've been trying, ever since we started, to get a chance to write a little to you; but when we've been on the road I couldn't catch my breath hardly long enough to write my name, we kept flying so fast; and when we made any stop, there was such a jam round us there wasn't elbow room enough for a mis- keeter to turn round without knocking his wings off. I'm most afraid now we shall get to Downingville before this letter does, so that we shall be likely to catch you all in the suds before you think of it. But I understand there is a fast mail goes on that way, and I mean to send it by that, so I'm in hopes you'll get it time enough to have the children's faces wash- ed and their heads combed, and the gals get on their clean gowns. And if Sargent Joel could have time enough to call out my old Downingville Company and get their uniform brushed up a little, and come down the road as fur as your new barn to meet us, there's nothing that would please the President better. As MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 213 for victuals, most anything wont come amiss; we are as hungry as bears after travelling a hundred miles a day. A little fried pork and eggs, or a pot of baked beans and an Indian pudding would suit us much bet- ter than the soft stuff they give us here in these great cities. The President wouldn't miss of seeing you for any thing in the world, and he will go to Downingville if he has legs and arms enough left when he goes to Portland to carry him there. But for fear any thing should happen that he shouldn't be able to come, you had better meet us in Portland, say about the 2!2d, and then you can go up to Downingville with us, you know. This travelling with the President is capital fun after all, if it wasn't so plaguy tiresome. We come into Baltimore on a Rail Road, and we flew over the ground like a harrycane. There isn't a horse in this country that could keep up with us, if he should go upon the clean clip. When we got to Baltimore, the streets were filled with folks as thick as the spruce trees down in your swamp. There we found Black Hawk, a little, old, dried up Indian king. — And I thought the folks looked at him and the prophet about as much as they did at me and the President. I gave the President a wink that this Indian fellow was taking the shine off of us a little, so we concluded we wouldn't have him in our company any more, and shall go on without him. I cant stop to tell you in this letter how we got along to Philadelphy, though we had a pretty easy time some of the way in the steam-boats. And I cant stop to tell you of half of the fine things I have seen here. They took us up into a great hall this morn- ing as big as a meeting-house, and then the folks begun to pour in by thousands to shake hands with the President; federalists and all, it made no differ- ence. There was such a stream of 'em coming in 214 LETTERS OP that the hall was full in a {e\v minutes, and it was so jammed up round the door that they couldn't get out aor^in if they were to die. So they had to knock out some of the windows and go out t'other way. The President shook hands with all his might an hour or two, till he got so tired he couldn't hardly stand it. I took hold and shook for him once in awhile to help him along, but at last he got so tired he had to lay down on a soft bench covered with cloth and shake as well as he could, and when he couldn't shake he'd nod to 'em as they come along. And at last he got so beat out, he couldn't only wrinkle his forward and wink. Then I kind of stood behind him and reached my arm round under his, and shook for him for about a half an hour as tight as I could spring. Then we concluded it was best to adjourn for to-day. And I've made out to get away up into the garret in the tavern long enough to write this letter. We shall be off to-morrow or next day for York, and if I can possibly get breathing time enough there, I shall write to you again. Give my love to all the folks in Downingville, and believe me your loving neffu, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LX. Jn which the President and Major Doicning have a very narrow escape at the breaking down of the bridge in JVeiu York. To unele Joshua Downing, Post Master up in Downingville, State of Maine, to be sent in the Portland Courier with care and speed. New York City, Friday evening, Jime 14, 1833. Dear Uncle Joshua, — Here we are amongst an ocean of folks, and cutting up capers as high as a MAJOR JACK DOWNING. ^17 cat's back. I spose you will see by the papers how we all like to got drowned yesterday going across a little bridge between the castle and the garden. It was a pesky narrow squeak for me and the Pres- ident. He was riding over on a great fine boss, and I was walking along by the side of him and trying to clear the way a little, for they crowded upon us so, there was no getting along, and hardly a chance to breathe. When we got under the arch we stopped a little bit for the crowd to clear away, when all at once I thought I heard something crack. Says I, Gineral, you better go ahead, I'm afraid there's mischief bru- ing here. At that he gave his boss a lick and pushed through the crowd, but we had n't got more than a rod, before crash went the bridge behind us, all down in a heap, and two toll-houses on top of it and as many as a hundred folks splashed into the water, all mixed up together one top of 'tother. The President looked over his shoulder, and seeing I was safe be- hind him, called out for Mr. Van Buren, and asked me to run and see if he was hurt. I told him he had forgot himself, for Mr. Van Buren was n't in the company; but Mr. Woodbury and Mr. Cass were in for it, for I could see them floundering about in the water now. Run, Major, said the President, run and give them a lift. Take Mr. Woodbury first, you know I can't spare him at any rate. So there was a parcel of us took hold and went to hauling of 'em out of the water like so many drownd- ed rats. But we got 'em all out alive, except a few young things they called dandies; they looked so after they got wet all over that Ave could n't make out wheth- er they were alive or dead. So we laid 'em up to dry and left 'em; and I went on to help the President review the troops on the battery, as they call it; and a grand place it is tu. Pve seen more fine shows here, it seems to me, than ever I see before in my life. Such a sight of folks, and fine ladies, and fine 19 218 LETTERS OF houses, and vessels, and steamboats, and flags a fly- ing, and cannons firing, and fire works a whisking about, I never seethe beat of it. I didn't think there was so much fiin in this world before, for all I've been about so much at Madawaska and among the nullifiers and all round. But 1 cant tell you much about it till we get there, for I cant find any time to write. I've only catched a few minutes this evening while the President is gone into Mr. Niblo's garden. One of the master sights that I've seen yet was that balloon that went up this afternoon, carrying a man with it. Poor fellow, I dont much think he'll ever get back again, for he looked to me the last I see of him as though he would land in England, or the moon, or some other country. All these sights keep us back a little longer than we expected. I dont think now we shall be in Port- land before the 28th or 29th of this month. So I thought I'd jest write you a line that you might be down there about that time. In haste your loving nefl'u, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXI. In which Major Downing describes the visit of the President at Boston, and also complains of the ras- cally counterfeiters that ivrite letters in his name for the newspapers. \Kote by the Editor. It will be recollected that the President while in Boston, was for a few days seriously ill.] Boston, Tuesday, June 25, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier. My dear old Friend, — I'm keeping house with the President to-day, and bein he's getting consider- MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 219 able better, I thought I'd catch a chance when he was taking a knap, and write a little to let you know how we get along. This ere sickness of the Presi- dent has been a bad pull-back to us. He hasn't been able to go out since Sunday afternoon, and I've been watchin with him this two nights, and if I wasn't as tough as a halter, I should be half dead by this time. And if the President want tougher than a cata- mount, he'd kick the bucket before he'd been round to see one half the notions there is in Boston. Poor man, he has a hard time of it; you've no idea how much he has to go through. It's worse than being dragged through forty knot holes. To be bamboozled about from four o'clock in the morning till midnight, rain or shine, jammed into one great house to eat a breakfast, and into another great house to eat a dinner, and into another to eat supper, and into two or three others between meals, to eat cooliations, and to have to go out and review three or four rigiments of troops, and then to be jammed into Funnel Hall two hours, and shake hands with three or four thousand folks, and then to go into the State House and stand there two or three hours and see all Boston streaming through it like a river through a sawmill, and then to ride about the city awhile in a fine painted covered waggon with four or five horses to draw it, and then ride awhile in one without any cover to it, finney-fined off to the top notch, and then get on to the horses and ride awhile a horseback, and then run into a great picture room and see more fine pictures than you could shake a stick at in a week, and then go into some grand gentleman's house, and shake hands a half an hour with a flock of ladies, and then after supper go and have a little still kind of a hubbub all alone with three or four hundred particu- lar friends, and talk an hour or two, and take another cooliation, and then go home, and about midnight get ready to go to bed, and up a^ain at four o'clock the 220 LETTERS OF next morning and at it. — If this aint enough to tuck- er a feller out I dont know what is. The President wouldn't have stood it till this time if he hadn't sent me and Mr. Van Buren and the rest of us to some of the parties, while he staid to home to rest. The President's got so much better I think we shall be able to start for Salem to-morrow, for we must go through with it now we've begun, as hard work as 'tis. I think we shall get to Portland about the 4th of July; so if you get your guns and things all ready you can kill two birds with one stone. I hope you'll be pretty careful there how you point your guns. They pointed 'em so careless at New York that one of the wads come within six inches of making daylight shine through the President. Now I think ont, there is the most rascally set of fellers skulking about somewhere in this part of the country that ever I heard of, and I wish you would blow 'em up. They are worse than the pick-pock- ets. I mean them are fellers that's got to writing letters and putting my name to 'em, and sending of 'em to the printers. And I heard there was one sassy feller last Saturday down to Newburyport that got on to a horse, and rid about town calling himself Major Jack Downing, and all the soldiers and the folks marched up and shook hands with him, and thought it was me. — Now, my dear old friend, isn't this too bad.^ What would you do if you was in my case.'' I say again they are worse than the pick- pockets. Isn't it Mr. Shakespeare that says some- thing about ' he that steals my munny-pus steals trash, but he that steals my name ought to have his head broke? ' I wish you would find that story and print it. There, the President's jest waked up, so I must subscribe myself, in haste, Your friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. MAJOR JACK DOVvxMNG. 221 LETTER LXII. In which the President and the rest of 'em turn a short Corner at Concord and set their faces towards Wash- ington. Concord, Nu Hamsheer, Juiie 30, 1833. To the Editor of ike PoHland Courier. My dear old Friend, — The jig is all up about our going to Portland and Downing ville. I've bat- tled the watch with the President this two days about it, and told him he must go there if he had the breath of life in him; and he kept telling me he certainly would if horses could carry him there. But the President is n't very well, and that aint the worst of it; there 's been a little difficulty bruin among us, and the President's got so riled about it, that he's finally concluded to start on his way back to morrow. 1 cant help it; but I feel bad enough about it. If I wasn't a military man I could cry a barrel of tears. I dont know how they will stan it in Downingville when they come to get the news. I'm afraid there will be a master uproar there, for you know they are all fuUblooded democrats. But the stage is jest agoing to start, and I've only time to write you this line, in haste from your friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 19* 222 LETTERS OF LETTER LXIII. In which cousin JVabbij descAhes the unutterable disap- pointment at Downingville because the President did nH come, and tells what a terrible pucker ant Keziah was in about it. GREAT UPROAR IN DOWNINGVILLE. Letter from Major Downing's Cousin Nabby to the editor of the Portland Courier. Respectable Sir: — As cousin Jack is always so mity budge in writing letters to you, and as he and the President has showed us a most provoking trick and run off like a stream of chalk back to Washington without coming here, after they had promised over and over again that they would come, and we had got all slicked up and our clean gownds on, and more good victuals cooked, than there ever was in all Downingville before, I say, Mr. Editor, I declare it's tu bad; we are all as mad as blazes about it, and I mean to write and tell you all about it if I live, and if cousin Jack dont like it he may lump it, so there now. Ye see cousin Jack writ to us that he and the Presi- dent and some more gentlemen should be here the 4th of July, and we must spring to it and brush up and see how smart we could look and how many fine things we could show to the President. This was a Saturday before the 4th of July come a Thursday. The letter was to Uncle Joshua, the Post Master. Most all the folks in Downingville were at the Post Office waiting when the mail come in, for we expected to hear from Jack. Uncle Joshua put on his spettacles and opened the mail and hauled out the papers and letters in a bunch. In a minute I see one to Uncle Joshua with the Presi- dent's name on the outside; so I knew it was from Jack, for the President ahvavs puts his name on Jack's MAJOR JACK DOWNING. ^23 letters. We all cried out to Uncle Joshua to open it and let us know what was in it. But he's such a pro- voking odd old man he would n't touch it till he got every one of the papers and letters sorted and put up in their places. And then he took it and set down in his arm chair, and took out his tobacker box and took a chaw of tobacker, and then he broke open the seal and sot and chawed and read to himself. We all stood tiptoe with our hearts in our mouths, and he must needs read it over to himself three times, chaw- ing his old quid and once in awhile giving us a know- ing wink, before he would tell us what was in it. — And he would n't tell us arter all, but, says he, you must all be ready to put the best side out Thursday morning; there'll be business to attend to, such as Downingville never see before. At that we all cut and run, and such a hubbub as we were in from that time till Thursday morning I guess you never see. Such a washing and scrubbing and making new clothes and mending old ones and baking and cooking. Every thing seemed to be in a clutter all over the neighborhood. Sargent Joel flew round like a ravin-distracted rooster. He called out his company every morning before sun-rise and march- ed 'em up and down the road three hours every day. He sent to the store and got a whole new set of but- tons and had 'em sowed on to his regimental coat, and had a new piece of red put round the collar. And had his trowses washed and his boots greesed, and looked as though he might take the shine off of most any thing. But the greatest rumpus was at uncle Joshua's; for they said the President must stay there all night. And ant Keziah was in such a pucker to have every thing nice, I did n't know but she would fly off the handle. She had every part of the house washed from gar- ret to cellar, and the floors all sanded, and a bunch of green bushes put into all the fire places. And she 224 LETTERS OF baked three ovens full of dried punkin pies, besides a few dried huckleberry pies, and cake, and a great pot of pork and beans. But the worst trouble was to fix up the bed so as to look nice; for ant Keziah de- clared the President should have as good a night's lodging in her house as he had in New York or Bos- ton. So she put on two feather beds on top the straw bed, and a bran new calico quilt that she made the first summer after she was married and never put it on a bed before. And to make it look as nice as the New York beds, she took her red silk gown and rip- ped it up and made a blanket to spread over the top. And then she hung up some sheets all round the bed- room, and the gals brought in a whole handful of roses and pinks and pinned 'em up round as thick as flies in August. After we got things pretty much fixed, uncle Joshua started off to meet cousin Jack and the Presi- dent, and left Sargent Joel to put matters to rights, and told us we must all be ready and be paraded in the road by nine o'clock Thursday morning. Well Thursday morning come, and we all mustered as soon as it was daylight and dressed up. The children were all washed and had their clean aprons on and their heads combed and were put under the care of the schoolmarm to be paraded along with her scholers. About eight o'clock all the village got together down the road as fur as uncle Joshua's new barn; and Sargent Joel told us how to stand, as he said, in militery order. He placed Bill Johnson and cousin Ephraim out a little ways in front with each of 'em a great long fowling piece with a smart charge in to fire a salute, and told 'em as soon as the President hove in sight to let drive, only be careful and pint their guns up so as not to hurt any body. Then come Sargent Joel and his company; and then come the schoolmarm and the children; and then come all the women and gals over sixteen with ant Keziah at their MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 225 head; and then come all the men in town that owned horses riding on horseback; and all the boys that Sargent Joel did n't think was large enough to walk in the profession got up and sot on the fences along by the side of the road. There we stood till about nine o'clock, when sure enough we saw somebody come riding out of the woods down the hill. The boys all screamed ready to split their throats hoorah for Jackson, and Bill Johnson fired off his gun. Cousin Ephraim, who aint so easy fluttered, held on to his and did n't fire, for he could n't see any body but uncle Joshua on his old gray horse. Along come uncle Joshua on a slow trot, and we looked and looked, but could n't see any body coming behind him. Then they all begun to look at one another as wild as hawks and turn all manner of colors. When uncle Joshua got up so we could see him pretty plain he looked as cross as a thunder cloud. He rid up to Sargent Joel, and says he, you may all go home about your business, and put away your knick-nacks, for Jack and the President are half way to Washington by this time. My stars! what a time there was then. I never see so many folks boiling over mad before. Bill Johnson threw his gun over into the field as much as ten rods, and hopped up and down and struck his fists together like all possessed. Sargent Joel marched back and forth across the road two or three times, growing red- der and redder, till at last he drew out his sword and fetched a blow across a hemlock stump and snapped it off like a pipe stem. Ant Keziah fell down in a conniption fit; and it was an hour before we could bring her tu and get her into the house. — And when she come to go round the house and see the victuals she had cooked up, and go into the bed-room and see her gown all cut up, she went into conniption fits again and had 'em half the night. But she's better to day, 226 LETTERS OF and has gone to work to try to patch up her go^vn again. I thought I would jest let you know about these things, and if you are a mind to send word on to cousin Jack and the President, I'm willing. You may tell 'em there aint five folks in Downingville that would hoorah for Jackson now, and I dont believe there's one that would vote for him unless 'tis uncle Joshua, and he would n't if he was n't afraid of losing the post office. But there, uncle Joshua has called to me and says he wont keep the mail open another minute for my letter, so I must prescribe myself your respected friend, NABBY DOWNING. NOMINATION FOR THE PRESIDENCY. From the National Intelligencer. We do not know whether it be necessary, in copy- ing the subjoined effusion, to enter into a protest against misinterpretation of our motives. We should be sorry to be understood, whilst humoring a jest, as meaning to . burlesque so serious an action as the choice of President of the United States. We copy the following for the sake of its moral, as well as its wit, and we do not like the moral the less for being taught with a smiling countenance. From the Mauch Chunk Courier. Our next President. Many of the papers in the United States have al- ready manifested a disposition to agitate the subject of the next Presidency, and several distinguished in- dividuals have been informally named for that office, among whom are Mr. Van Buren, Mr. M 'Lean, Mr. Cass, Mr. Clay and Mr. Webster. As we are opposed to a premature discussion of this ticklish question, we have not hitherto committed ourself in MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 227 favor of either of these individuals. Indeed, we have considered it very imprudent in these times, for any- one who wishes to be an orthodox politician, to " come out " for any body until he can ascertain who will be most likely to succeed. Accordingly we have stood upon our ' reserved rights ' of neutrality, to watch the signs of the times, and see who would probably be the most popular candidate. Recent indications have satisfactorily convinced us on that point, and as we wish to be considered among the ' originals' — the real Simon Pures, we would lose no time in nominating For President, MAJOR JACK DOWNING, Of Doivningville. In recommending this distinguished personage to our fellow citizens, it will be scarcely necessary to enumerate his various claims to their suffrages. Suf- fice it to say, his military renown, his valuable public services in assisting President Jackson to put down the Nullifiers, especially in shaking hands with the Yankees " down east," and last though not least, the fidelity with which he and his uncle Joshua stuck to the Old Hero after he found he was going to be Pres- ident, eminently qualify him for that exalted station. LETTER LXIV. In lohich Major Downing tells about going to Cam" bridge and making the President a Doctor of Laws. On board tlie Steam-boat, going from Providence to York, July 2, 1833. To ray old friend, the Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, away down east in the State of Maine. My dear Friend. — We are driving back again full chisel, as fast as we come on when we were on the Rail Road between Washington and Baltimore. And 228 LETTERS OF we 've been drivin so fast on a round turn in all the places where we've been, and have had so much shaking hands and eating and one thing another to do, that I could n't get time to write to you at half the places where I wanted to, so I thought I'd set down now, while the President's laid down to rest him awhile, and tell you something about Cambridge and Lowell. Ye see when we were at Boston they sent word to us to come out to Cambridge, for they want- ed to make the President a Doctor of Laws. What upon arth a Doctor of Laws was, or why they wanted to make the President one, I could n't think. So when we come to go up to bed I asked the Gineral about it. And says I, Gineral, what is it they want to do to you out to Cambridge? Says he they want to make a Doctor of Laws of me. Well, says I, but what good will that do? Why, says he, you know Major Downing, there's a pesky many of them are laws passed by Congress, that are rickety things. Some of 'em have very poor constitutions, and some of 'em have n't no constitutions at all. So that it is neces- sary to have somebody there to Doctor 'em up a little, and not let 'em go out into the world where they would Stan a chance to catch cold and be sick, with- out they had good constitutions to bear it. You know, says he, I have had to doctor the Laws considerable ever since I've been at Washington, although I was n't a regular bred Doctor. And I made out so well about it, that these Cambridge folks think I better be made into a regular Doctor at once, and then there '11 be no grumbling and disputing about my practice. Says he. Major, what do you think of it? I told him I thought it was an excellent plan; and asked him if he did n't think they would be willing, bein I'd been round in the military business considerable for a year or two past, to make me a Doctor of War. He said he did n't know, but he thought it would be no harm to try 'em. But says he. Major, I feel a little kind MAJOR JACK DOWNING?. of streaked about it after all; for they say they will go to talking to me in Latin, and although I studied it a little once, I dont know any more about it now than the man in the moon. And how I can get along in that case I dont know. I told him my way, when any body talked to me in a lingo that I did'nt under- stand, was jest to say nothing, but look as knowing as any of 'em, and then they ginerally thought 1 knew a pesky sight more than any of 'em. At that the Gineral fetched me a slap on my shoulder, and haw hawed right out. Says he, Major Downing, you are the boy for me ; I dont know how I should get along in this world if it was n't for you. So when we got ready we went right to Cambridge as bold as could be. And that are Cambridge is a real pretty place; it seems to me I should like to live in them Colleges as well as any place I've seen. We went into tlie Libry, and I guess I stared a little, for I did n't think before there was half so many books in the world. I should think there was near about enough to fill a meetin house. I dont believe they was ever all read or ever will be to all ages. When we come to go in to be made Doctors of, there was a terrible crowding round; but they give us a good place, and then sure enough they did begin to talk in Latin or some other gibberish; but whether they were talking to the Gineral, or who 'twas, 1 could n't tell. I guess the Gineral was a little puz- zled. But he never said a word, only once in a while bowed a little. And I spose he happened sometimes to put in the bows in the wrong place, for I could see some of the sassy students look up one side once in a while, and snicker out of one corner of their mouths. Howsomever the Gineral stood it out like a hero, and got through very well. And when 'twas over, I stept up to Mr. Quincy and asked him if he would n't be so good as to make me a Doctor of War, and hinted to him a little about my services down to Madawasca 20 230 LETTERS OF and among the nullifiers. At that he made me a very pohte bow, and says he, Major Downing, we should be very happy to oblige you it" we could, but we never give any degrees of war here; all our degrees are degrees of peace. So I find I shall have to practise war in the natural way, let nullification, or what will, come. After 'twas all over we went to Mr. Quincy's and had a capital dinner. And on the whole had about as good a visit to Cambridge as most any where. I meant to a told you considerable about Lowell, but the steamboat goes so fast, I shant have time to. We went all over the Factories; and there! I wont try to say one word about 'em, for I've been filled with such a wonderment ever since, that my ideas are all as big as hay stacks, and if I should try to get one of 'em out of my head, it would tear it all to pieces. It beat all that ever I heard of before, and the Gine- ral said it beat all that ever he heard of. But what made the Gineral hold his head up and feel more like a soldier, than he had before since he was at New Orleans, was when we marched along the street by them are five thousand gals, all dressed up and look- ing as pretty as a million of butterflies. The Gineral marched along as light as a boy, and seems to me I never see his eyes shine so bright afore. After we got along about to the middle of 'em, he whispered to me, and says he, Major Downing, is your Cousin Nabby here among 'em; if she is, I must be intro- duced to her. I told him she was not; as they were expecting us to come to Downingville, she staid to home to help get ready. Well, says he, if any thing should happen that we can't go to Downingville, you must send for your Cousin Nabby and Uncle Joshua to come on to Washington to see me. I will bear all the expenses, if they will only come, says he; these northern gals are as much afore our southern and western gals as can be, and I've thought of your Cousin Nabby a great deal lately — he looked as MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 231 though he was going to say something more, but Mr. Van Buren and the rest of 'em crowded along up so near that it broke it off, and we had to go along. I see we've got most to York, and shall have to go ashore in a few minutes, so I can't write any more now, but remain your sincere and loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXV. In which Major Downing tells about the quarrel that he and Mr. Van Buren had at Concord after theij went up chamber to bed ; and also declares his intention to run for the Presidency. Washington City, July 20, 1833. To my old friend, the editor of the Portland Courier, away down east in the State of Maine. My dear old Friend, you. — I dont know but you might think strange on 't, that I should be back here to Washington more than a fortnight, and not write to you. But I hant forgot you. You need n't never be afraid of that. We aint very apt to forget our best friends; and you may depend upon it Jack Downing will never forget the editor of the Portland Courier any more than Andrew Jackson will forget Jack Downing. You was the first person that ever give me a lift into public life, and you 've been a boosting me along ever since. And jest between you and me°I think I 'm getting into a way now where I shall be able by and by to do something to pay you for it. The reason that I have n't writ to you before, is, that we have had pretty serious business to attend to since we got back. But we 've jest got through with it, and Mr. Van Buren has cleared out and gone back about the quickest to New York, and I guess with a bed-bug in his ear. Now jest between you 232 - LETTERS OF and me in confidence, I '11 tell you how 't is; but pray dont let on about it to any body else for the world. Did n't you think plaguy strange what made us cut back so quick from Concord without going to Port- land or Portsmouth or Downingviller You know the papers have said it was because the President want very well, and the President had to make that ex- cuse himself in some of his letters; but it was no such thing. The President could a marched on foot twenty miles a day then, and only let him been at the head of my Downingvilie company and he 'd a made a whole British regiment scamper like a flock of sheep. But you see the trouble ont was, there was some difficulty between I and Mr. Van Buren. Some how or other Mr. Van Buren always looked kind of jealous at me all the time after he met us at JVew York; and I could n't help minding every time the folks hollered ' hoorah for Major Downing' he would turn as red as a blaze of fire. And wherever we stopped to take a bite or to have a chat, he would always work it, if he could, some- how or other so as to crowd in between me and the President. Well, ye see, I wouldn't mind much about it, but would jest step round 'tother side. And though I say it myself, the folks would look at me, let me be on v/hich side I would; and after they'd cried hoorah for the President, they'd most always sing out 'hoorah for Major Downing.' Mr. Van Buren kept growing more and more tidgety till we got to Concord. And there we had a room full of sturdy old democrats of New Hampshire, and after they had all flocked round the old President and shook hands with him, he happened to introduce me to some of 'em before he did Mr. Van Buren. At that the fat was all in the fire. Mr. Van Buren wheeled about and marched out of the room looking as though he could bite a board nail off*. The Presi- dent had to send for him three times before he could MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 235 get him back into the room again. And when he did come, he didn't speak to me for the whole evening. However we kept it from the company pretty much; but when we come to go up to bed that night, we had a real quarrel. It was nothing but jaw, jaw, the whole night. Mr. Woodbury and Mr. Cass tried to pacify us all they could, but it was all in vain, we didn't one of us get a wink of sleep, and shouldn't if the night had lasted a fortnight. Mr. Van Buren said the President had dishonored the country by placing a military Major on half pay before the second officer of the government. The President begged him to consider that I was a very particular friend of his; that I had been a great help to him at both ends of the country; that I had kept the British out of Madawaska away down in Maine, and had marched my company clear from Downingville to Washington, on my way to South Carolina, to put down the nullifiers; and he thought I was entitled to as much respect as any man in the country. This nettled Mr. Van Buren peskily. — He said he thought it was a fine time of day if a raw jockey from an obscure village away down east, jest because he had a Major's commission, was going to throw the Vice President of the United States and the heads of Departments into the back ground. At this my dander began to rise, and I stepped right up to him; and says I, Mr. Van Buren, you are the last man that ought to call me a jockey. And if you'll go to Downingville and stand up before my company with Sarjeant Joel at their head, and call Downingville an obscure village, Pll let you use my head for a foot-ball as long as you live afterwards. For if they wouldn't blow you into ten thousand atoms, Pll never guess again. We got so high at last that the old President hopt off the bed like a boy; for he had laid down to rest him, bein it was near daylight, though he couldn't get to sleep. And says he, Mr. Donald- 236 LETTERS OF son, set down and write Mr. Anderson at Portland, and my friend Joshua Downing at Downingville, that I can't come. I'm going to start for Washington this morning. What, says Mr. Cass, and not go to Portsmouth and Exeter and round there! I tell you, says the President, I'm going to start for Washing- ton this morning, and in three days I'll be there. What, says Mr. Woodbury, and not go to Portland, where they have spent so much money to get ready for us! I tell you, says the President, my foot is down: I go not a step further, but turn about this morning for Washington. What, says I, and not go to Downingville, what will Uncle Joshua say.'' At this the President looked a little hurt; and says he, Major Downing, I can't help it. As for going any further with such a din as this about my ears, I can- not, and will not, and I am resolved not to budge another inch. And sure enough the President was as good as his word, and we were all packed up by sunrise, and in three days we were in Washington. And here we've been ever since, battling the watch about the next Presidency. Mr. Van Buren says the President promised it to him, and now he charges me and the President with a plot to work myself into it and leave him out. It's true I've been nominated in a good many papers, in the National Intelligencer, and in the Munch Chunk Courier printed away off among the coal diggers in Pennsylvany, and a good many more. And them are Pennsylvany chaps are real pealers for electing folks when they take hold; and that's what makes Mr. Van Buren so uneasy. The President tells him as he has promised to help him, he shall do what he can for him; but if the folks ivill vote for me he can't help it. Mr. Van Buren wanted I should come out in the National Intelli- gencer and resign, and so be put up for Vice Presi- dent under him. But I told him no; bein it had gone so fur I wouldn't do nothing about it. I hadn't MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 237 asked for the office, and if the folks had a mind to give it to me I wouldn't refuse it. So after we had battled it about a fortnight, Mr. Van Buren found it was no use to try to dicker with me, and he's cleared out and gone to New York to see what he can do there. I never thought of getting in to be President so soon, though I've had a kind of hankering for it this two years. But now, seeing it's turned out as it has, I'm determined to make a bold push, and if I can get in by the free votes of the people, I mean to. The President says he rather I should have it than any body else, and if he hadn't promised Mr, Van Buren beforehand, he would use his influence for me. I remember when I was a boy about a dozen years old, there was an old woman come to our house to tell fortunes. And after she'd told the rest of 'em, father says he, here's Jack, you haven't told his fortune yet, and I dont spose it's worth a telling, for he's a real mutton-headed boy. At that the old woman catched hold of my hair, and pulled my head back and looked into my face, and I never shall forget how she looked right through me, as long as I live. At last, says she, and she gin me a shove that sent me almost through the side of the house, Jack will beat the the whole of you. He '11 be a famous climber in his day, and wherever he sets out to climb, you may depend upon it, he will go to the top of the ladder. Now, putting all these things together, and the nom- inations in the papers, and the ' hoorahs for Major Downing,' I dont know what it means, unless it means that I must be President, So, as I said afore, I'm determined to make a bold push. I've writ to Col. Crocket to see if I can get the support of the western States, and his reply is, ^ go ahead.' I shall depend upon you and uncle Joshua to carry the State of Maine for me; and, in order to secure the other States, I spose it will be necessary to pub- 238 LETTERS OF lish my life and writings. President Jackson had his life published before he was elected, and when Mr. Clay was a candidate he had hisn published. I've talked with the President about it, and he says, publish it by all means, and set the printer of the Portland Courier right about it. So I want you to go to work as soon as you get this, and pick up my letters, and begin to print 'em in a book; and I'll set down and write a history of my life to put into it, and send it along as fast as I can get it done. But I want you to be very careful not to get any of them are confounded counterfeit let- ters, that the rascally fellers have been sending to the printers, mixed in long with mine. It would be as bad as breaking a rotten egg in long with the good ones; it would spile the whole pudding. You can tell all my letters, for they were all sent to you first. The President says I must have a picter of me made and put into the book. — He says he had one put into his, and Mr. Clay had one put into his. So I believe I shall write to Mr. Thatcher that prints the little Journal paper in Boston, and get him to go to some of the best picter-makers there, and get them to do me up some as slick as they can. These things, you know, will all help get the free votes of the people; and that's all I want. For I tell you now, right up and down, I never will take any office that doesn't come by the free votes of the people. I'm a genuine democratic republican, and always was, and so was my father before me, and uncle Joshua besides. There's a few more things that I want to speak to you about in this letter, but I'm afraid it will get to be too lengthy. That are story that they got in the newspapers about my being married in Philadelphy is all a hoax. I aint married yet, nor I shant be till a little blue-eyed gal, that used to run about with me, and go to school and slide down hill in Down- MAJOR JA6K DOWNING. 239 ingville is the wife of President Downing. And that are other story, that the President give me a Curnel s commission jest before we started down east, isn't exactly true. The President did offer me one, but i thanked him, and told him if he would excuse me, I should rather not take it, for I had always noticed that Majors were more apt to rise in the world than Curnels. I wish you would take a little pains to send up to Downingville and get uncle Joshua to call a public meeting, and have me nominated there. I'm so well known there, it would have a great effect m other places. And I want to have it particularly under- stood, and so stated in their resolutions, that I am the genuine democratic republican candidate. 1 know you will put your shoulder to the wheel in this busi- ness and do all you can for me, for you was always a good friend to me, and, just between you and me, when I get in to be President you may depend upon it you shall have as good an office as you want. But I see it's time for me to end this letter. The President is quite comfortable, and sends his res- pects to you and uncle Joshua. I remain your sin- cere friend. MAJOR JACK DOWNIJNG. LETTER LXVI. In which Cousin Ephraim describes the method of put- ting ' dimocrats ' over on to the federal side. Downingville, State of Maine, August 12, 18^3. To Cousin Major Jack Downing, at Washington city, or else gone long with the President down to the Rip Raps. To be sent privately in the Portland Courier. Dear Cousin Jack.— I've got something pretty heavy on my mind that I want to tell ye about, and ask your advice, and may be I shall want you to lend me a hand a little. I've been watching poUtics pretty 240 LETTERS OF snug ever since I was a little boy, and that's near about forty years; and I believe I know most as much about it as uncle Joshua, although he's twenty years older than I be. Now about this republicanism and federalism, I've minded that it always keeps changing, and always has, ever since I can remember. And I've minded tu it most always keeps going round one way; that is, the young federalists keep turning dim- ocrats, and the old dimocrats keep turning federalists. What it's for I dont exactly know, but that's the way it goes. I spose a man, on the whole, is n't hardly fit to be a dimocrat after he gets to be fifty years old. And here is old uncle Josliua in the Post Ofiice, he's got to be about sixty, and he's hanging on to the dim- ocratic side yet, like the tooth-ache; and it begins to worry me a good deal. I think it's high time he went over. You know Downingville has always been a genuine republican town, and I want it should always go according to the usages [I think that's what they call it] of the dimocratic party. When it gets to be time for an old dimocrat to go over on the federal side, I believe the Argus always puts 'em over. You remember there was old Mr. Insley in Portland, and old Gineral Wingate in Bath, as much as a dozen years ago, were some as big re- publicans as there was anywhere about. Well, they got to be considerable old, and had been in office sometime, so the Argus took and clapt 'em right over on to the federal side. And you know there was Mr. Holmes, he was a whapping great republican. But he begun to grow old, and so the Argus put him over. And there was JMr. Sprague; he was such a nice dimocrat every one said it was a pitty to put him over. But bein he'd been to Congress sometime, the Argus would n't hear a word, but shoved him right over. And this summer the Argus is putting of 'em over considerable younger on to the federal side. It has MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 241 put Judge Preble over, and Judge Ware, and Mr. Mitchell, the Post Master at Portland, and he isn't near so old as uncle Joshua, and it has put Mr. Meg- quier over, only think, such a young man as Mr. Megquier, that's only been in the Sinnet three or four years. Now dont you think, according to dimo- cratic usage, it is high time old uncle Joshua was put over? I wish you would jest write to the Argus and have it done, for I feel a good deal worried about it. And as soon as it comes out in the xVrgus that he is fairly over, I want you to tell the President that uncle Joshua is a federalist, and have him removed from the Post Office, for it would be an everlasting shame to have the Post Office in Downingville kept by a federalist. N. B. If uncle Joshua should be removed I wish you would use your influence to get the President to give the office to me; for next to Uncle Joshua I spose I've done more for the republican party than any man in Downingville. I can have a recommen- dation from Sargent Joel and all the company. By attending to this vou will much oblige your friend and cousin, ' * EPHRAIM DOWNING. LETTER LXVII. In which, the President begun to say something about ME and Daniel. Washington City, Sept. 14, 18^3. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, away down East, in the State of Maine. My dear old Friend, — Its got to be a pretty con- siderable long while now since I've writ to you, for I never like to write, you know, without I have some- thing to say. — But I've got something on my mind now, that keeps me all the time a thinking so much 21 242 LETTERS OF that I cant hold in any longer. So jest between you and me I'll tell you what 'tis. But I must begin a little ways beforehand, so you can see both sides of it, and I'll tell you what 'tis as soon as I get along to it. You see 1 and the President has been down to the Rip Raps a few weeks to try to recruit up a little; for that pesky tower away down East like to did the job for the old Gineral. So, after we got things pretty much to rights here, we jest stepped aboard the steam- boat and went down to the Rip Raps. That are Rip Raps is a capital place; it is worth all the money we ever paid for it, if it was for nothing else only jest to recruit up the Government. It is one of the most coolest places in the summer time that you ever see. Let a feller be all worn out and wilted down as limpsy as a rag, so that the doctors would think he was jest ready to fly off the handle, and let him go down to the Rip Raps and stay there a fortnight, and he'd come up again as smart as a steel-trap. The Presi- dent got recruited up so nicely, while we were down to the Rip Raps, that ever since we got back till two or three days ago, he has been as good-natured and sociable as ever I should wish to see a body. And now I'm coming, pretty soon, to what I was going to tell you about, that bears so heavy on my mind. You see the President likes, every morning after the breakfast is out of the way, to set down and read over the newspapers, and see what is going on in the country, and who's elected and so on. So when we 've done breakfast, we take the letters and papers that come from the Post-Office, and go away by our- selves into the great East Room where we can say jest what we've a mind to, and nobody not hear us, and the President sets down in his great arm rocking- chair and smokes his segar, and I set down by the table and read to him. Last Monday morning, as I was reading ever the papers one arter another, I come to a Pennsylvany paper and opened it, and, says I, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 246 hullow, gineral, here's a speech of Mr. Webster at Pittsburg, as large as life. Ah, said he; well, let us hear what Daniel has been talking to them are Penn- sylvany and Ohio chaps about. So I hitched back in my chair, and read on. And by and by I begun to get into the marrow of the story, where he told all about Nullification, and what a dark time we had of it last winter, and how the black clouds begun to rise and spread over the country, and the thunders of civ- il war begun to roll and rumble away off to the South, and by and by how the tempest was jest ready to burst over our heads and split the country all into shivers, and how, in the very nick of time, the President's Proclamation came out and spread over the whole country like a rain-bow, and how every body then took courage and said the danger was all over. While I had been reading this, the President had started up on his feet, and walked back and forth across the room pretty quick, puffing away and making the smoke roll out of his mouth like a house a fire; and by the time I had got through, he had thrown his segar out of the window, and come and sot down, leaning his elbow on the table and looking right in my face. I laid the paper down, and there he sot looking right at me as much as five minutes, and never said a word; but he seemed to keep a thinking as fast as a horse could run. At last, said he. Major Downing, were you ever told that you resembled Daniel Webster.'' Why, Gineral, says I, how do you mean, in looks or what? Why perhaps a little of both says he, but mostly in looks. Bless my stars, says I, Gineral, you dont mean to say that 1 am quite so dark as he is. Perhaps not, says he; but you have that sharp knowing look, as though you could see right through a millstone. I know, says he, that Mr. Webster is rather a dark looking man, but there is n't another 21* 246 LETTERS OF man in this country that can throw so much light on a dark subject as he can. Why yes, says I, he has a remarkable faculty for that; he can see through most any thing, and he can make other folks see through it too. I guess, says I, if he 'd been born in old Virginny he 'd stood next to most any body. A leetle afore 'em, says the Gineral, in my way of thinking. I '11 tell you what 't is Major, I begin to think your New Englanders aint the worst sort of fellows in the world after all. Ah well says I, seeing is believing, and you 've been down that way now and can judge for yourself. But if you had only gone as fur as Downingville I guess you would have thought still better of 'em than you do now. Other folks may talk larger and blus- ter more, says I, but whenever you are in trouble, and want the real support in time of need, go to 'New England for it and you never need to be afraid but what it will come. I believe you are right, says the Gineral; for not- withstanding all I could do with my proclamation against nullification, I believe I should have rubbed hard if there had been no such men in the country as Major Downing and Daniel Webster. But this nullification business is n't killed yet. The tops are beat down, but the roots are alive as ever, and spreading under ground wider and wider, and one. of these days when they begin to sprout up again there '11 be a tougher scrabble to keep 'em down than there has been yet; and I 've been thinking, says he, and he laid his hand on my shoulder and looked very anxious, I 've been thinking says he, if ijou and Dan- iel and here the door opened and in comethAmos Kendil with a long letter from Mr. Van Buren about the Bank and the safety fund and the Government de- posites and I dont know what all; and the President's brow was clouded in a minute; for he always ieels kind MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 247 of pettish when they plague him about the safety fund. I have n't had any chance to talk with him since, there 's so many of 'em round him; and I 'm as un- easy as a fish out of water, I feel so anxious to know what the President was going to say about me and Daniel. I shall watch the first chance when I think it will do to talk with him, and find out what he was going to say. I cant hardly sleep a nights, I think so much about it. When I find out I '11 v/rite to you again. Send my love to the folks up in Downingville when you have a chance. I remain your sincere friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXVIII. In which the President finished what he was going to say about Me and Daniel. Washington City, Sept. 30, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, away down east in the State of Maine. My dear Friend, — Havn't you been in a terrible kind of a pucker ever since my last letter to you, to know what the President was going to say about me and Daniel? If you havn't, I have. I never felt so uneasy for a fortnight hardly in my life. If I went to bed t couldn't sleep, and I've got up and walked the floor as much as half the night almost every night since. — I've wished the Bank to Guinea more than fifty times, for there's been such a hubbub here about the Bank this fortnight past, that I couldn't get a mo- ment's chance to talk with the President about any thing else. We'd have cabinet meetings once in awhile to see about moving the deposites, and Mr. Duane and Mr. Cass and Mr. McLane would talk up to the President so about it, that he'd conclude to let 'em 248 LETTERS OF alone and do nothing about it, and let Congress man- age it jest as they'd amind to. And then we'd go home and Mr. Kendle would come in and talk the matter over, and read some great long letters from Mr. Van Buren, and get the President so confused that he would lose all patience a most. But Mr. Kendle is the master feller to hang on that ever I see; he's equal to the tooth ache. And he talked and palavered with the President till he finally brought him over, and then the President put his foot down, and said the deposites should be moved whether or no. And then the botheration was to see who should move 'em. The President told Mr. Du- ane to do it; but he said his conscience wouldn't let him. Then the President told Mr. Taney to take Mr. Duane's place, and see if his conscience would let him. Mr Taney tried it and found his conscience went easy enough, so Mr. Duane packed up and went home to Philadelphy. We were all dreadful sorry to lose Mr. Duane, for he was a nice man as you will see one in a thousand. It's a pity he had such a stiff conscience; he might have staid here in the Treasury jest as well as not, if it hadn't been for that. But this storm about the bank begins to blow over, and the President's got in a manner cooled down again. This morning after breakfast we took the pa- pers and letters jest as we used to, and went away into the east room to read the news and chat awhile; and it really did my heart good to see the President set down once more looking so good natured in his great arm chair smoking his segar. After I had read over the news to him awhile, and got him in pretty good humor, I made bold to out with it, and says I Giner- al, there's one question I want to ask you. — And says he, you know INIajor, I always allow you to ask me any thing you're a mind to, what is it? Well says I, when we had that talk here about a fortnight ago, you begun to say something about me and Daniel; and jest as you got into the middle of it, Mr. Kendle MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 249 came in and broke it right off short as a pipe stem. It's been running in my head ever since, and I've been half crazy to know what it was you was going to say. Well, let us see, says the Gineral, where was it I left off; for this everlasting fuss about the Bank has kept my head so full I can't seem to re- member much about it. Why says I, you was talking about nullification; how the tops were beat down a little, but the roots were all running about under ground as live as ever, and it would n't be long before they'd be sprouting up again all over the country, and there 'd be a tough- er scrabble to keep 'em down than ever there had been yet; and then you said if I and Daniel and there that plaguy Kendle came in, I've no patience with him now when I think of it, and broke it right off. Ah, now I remember, says the Gineral, how twas. Well, says he, Major Downing, it is a solemn fact, this country is to see a blacker storm of nullifi- cation before many years comes about than ever it has seen yet; the clouds are beginning to gather now; I've seen 'em rolling over South Carolina, and hang- ing about Georgia, and edging along into old Vir- ginny, and I see the storm's a gathering; it must come, and if there is n't somebody at the helm that knows how to steer pretty well, the old ship must go down. I aint afraid, says he, but vv'hat I can keep her up while I have the command, but I'm getting to be old and must give up soon, and then what '11 be- come of her I dont know. But what I was going to say was this; I've been thinking if you and Daniel, after I give up, would put your heads together and take charge of her till the storm has blown over, you might save her. And I dont know who else can. But how do you mean, Gineral, says 1} Why to speak plain, says he, if nullification shows its head, Daniel must talk and you must fight. There's noth- ing else will do the job for it that I know of Daniel 250 LETTERS OF must go into the presidential chair, and you must take command of the army, and then things will go straight. At this I was a little struck up; and I looked him right in the eye, and, says I, Gineral, do you mean that Daniel Webster ought to be President after you give up? Certainly, says he, if you want to keep the country out of the jaws of nullification. But, says I, Gineral, Daniel is a federalist, a Hartford Convention federalist, and I should like to know which is worst, the jaws of nullification, or the jaws of federalism. The jaws of a fiddle-stick! said the President, start- ing up and throwing his segar out of the window as much as two rods; but how do you know, Major Downing, that Daniel is a federalist.'' Because, says I, I've heard him called so down east more than a hundred times. And that's jest all you know about it, says he. Now I tell you how 'tis, Major Down- ing, Daniel is as thorough a republican as you be, or as I be, and has been ever since my Proclamation came out against nullification. As soon as that Pro- clamation came out Daniel came right over on to the republican ground and took it upon his shoulder and carried it through thick and thin where no other man in the country could have carried it. Says I, Gine- ral, is that a fact.'' And says he yes, you may de- pend upon it, 'tis every word truth. Well says I, that alters the case a little, and I'll write to Uncle Joshua and the editor of the Portland Courier and see what they think of it, and if they think it's best to have Daniel for President we'll have him in, and I'll take my turn afterwards: for seeing the people are bent upon having me for President I wont decline, though if it is thought best that I should wait a little while, I wont be particular about that. I'm willing to do that which will be best for the country. So I remain your loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. MAJOR JACK DOWMNG. 251 LETTER LXIX. In which Cousin jyabhij describes her visit to Mr. MaeU zeVs Congregation of Moshow. Portland, October 22, 1833. To Cousin Sally Downing, up in Downingville, in the care of Uncle Joshua, Post Master. Dear Cousixx: — I got here about noon yesterday, muddy and wet enough. Such dreadful muddy roads for the time of year, seems to me there never was be- fore. Butter fetches a grand price. They would n't offer but eighteen cents at first, but soon as they come to see it and taste of it, they give me twenty cents right off for all of yours and mine, and never said a word. — So much for keeping a neat churn and clean milk-pans. The yarn and footins sold pretty well too, but I wont stop to tell you about that till I get back. I'm going to stop here with ant Sally till next week, and I want you to come down if you can any way in the world, for here's a sight here that would make you jump higher than the cat's back if you should see it. I'll jest tell you a little about it. When I got here yesterday, I found ant Sally all in a flutter about go- ing to see the congregation of Moskow. She said she was going to carry the children, and nothing would do but I must go too. She said it would n't cost but two and thrippence, and she would pay it rather than not have me go, for she should 'nt mind the pay, as all that was paid that evening would be given to the so- cieties what takes care of little orphan children and carries wood to poor freezing widows. When she said that, I felt as though I should be willing to give two pounds of butter myself So we all fixed and off we went up to Union Hall about seven o'clock. 252 LETTERS OP I cant stop to tell you much about the sights I see there, but you must come and see 'em without fail. I dont know but they 've nigh upon scared me out of a year's growth; they showed us first a little feller they called a fidler. I dont know what he was made of but he acted jest as though he was alive. He was n't more than a foot long, and he sot down in a chair as pretty as a little man. And somebody played some music to him and that sot him all of a didder, and he made his little fiddle stick fly so I did n't know but he would shake his arm off. Then they brought out a little doll baby; a sweet looking little creature, dress- ed up as neat as a pink. And they brought it along up to us, and as true as you are alive it spoke right out and said ma-ma. I could n't hardly believe my own ears at first, but it said ma-ma again, and pa-pa, more than twenty times. Then they sot a couple of little fellers up on a rope, and they went to hopping and jumping and dancing about, and whirling over and over round the rope, till I thought they would fall and break their necks more than fifty times. The prettiest one would sit up so straight, and turn his head round and look at us, and hold his hands out to us, that I told ant Sally I knew he was alive and I'd go and take the dear little crea- ture down before he fell and killed himself. But she held on to me and declared I should n't go, for he had n't any more life in him than an ax handle; but I cant hardly believe it now. Then they said they would show us the Congrega- tion of Moskow. And presently I begun to hear a racket and drums and fifes agoing, and bells a dinging, and by and by they pulled away some great curtains, that hung clear across the Hall, and there was a sight that beat all I ever see before. I jumped and was go- ing to run for the door at first, for I thought Portland was all afire; but ant Sally held on to me till I got pacified a little, and then I sot down. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 253 And, there, I must say it was the grandest sight that ever I did see. A thousand buildings and meet- ing houses all in a light flame, and the fire and smoke rolling up to the clouds, and thousands and thousands of soldiers marching and riding through the streets, and the drums and the fifes and the bugles and the bells and the guns; O Sally, you must come and see it, if you have to come afoot and alone as the gal went to be married. The man says in the papers he aint agoing to keep it here only till next Friday night; but I'll coax him as hard as I can to stay till next week, so you can have a chance to see it. In haste your loving Cousin, NABBY DOWNING. LETTER LXX. In which Major Doivning concludes it is best to put some of his poetry into his book. Washington, Oct. 20, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, away down east in the State of Maine. My dear old Friend, — I am glad you have got Mr. Lilly, Wait, and Company, in Boston to print my book, for they say they print about the prettiest books there is agoing now days, and as many of 'em too as most any body. I shall go on to Boston in a few days, so as to see to it, and have it well done. I've been a thinking it might help the matter along some towards my getting in to be President, if you would look up that are piece of poetry that I writ for you three or four years ago about Sam Patch, and put it into the book. I dont know as many of the Presidents have wrote much poetry; but they say Quincy Adams has considerable, and it's helped him 22 254 LETTERS OF along a good deal. And as I dont want to leave any- stone unturned that would be likely to help me in, I think it's best to put that in the book. I remain your loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXXI. In which Major Downing tells the President about his book, and the pictures in it, and prevents a bobbery in the Senate chamber. Washington City, Dec. 28, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier in the Mariners' Church building, 2d story, eastern end, Fore Street, away down east in the State of Maine. My dear old Friend, — Ever since I got back here from Boston where I'd been to see about print- ing my book, we've been in a kind of a harrycane here, and I and the Gineral has had to hold on so tight to keep things from blowing away, that I could n't hardly get a chance to write to you afore now, though I have wanted to twenty times. You know I come away from Boston as soon as they got done printing the book, before they had time to bind any of 'em up, so I could n't bring any of 'em with me, and the President is in a great taking to see one, so I wish you would tell Mr. Lilly, Wait and Co. to send one to the President the first chance, and I think they better send one to Mr, Clay too, and one to Daniel; and I dont care if they send one to Mr. Van Buren if they 've a mind to, though I dont know as he will like it very well because they have made him look so thunderin cross in that picter about the MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 255 quarrel we had at Concord. But it's no more than what's true, for he did look cross enough to bite a board nail off; and Mr. Cass and Mr. Woodbury will say the same any time of day. The President was very glad to see me when I got back from Boston, for he had had a tough scrabble to keep things going on straight while I was gone. But before he would stop to tell me a word about what he had been doing and what the Cabinets had been about, I had to set down and tell him the whole story about the book from beginning to end. So we went into the east room and lit our pipes and set down and had a good long chat. Well, Major, said the President, how many pages have you got? Almost three hundred, says I. °And how many picters, says he? Ten, says I. Well, says he, how do they look? Why, says I, I think they are some of the prettiest things I have laid my eyes on this long time! Well how many of 'em have got me in 'em, says he? Three, I believe, says I, let us see, there is the shaking hands at Phil- adelphia, where you got so tired I had to shake for you; and there is the one at Concord, where you jumped off the bed and give us such a scolding when i and Mr. Van Buren was jawing of it up hill and down; and there is the one where I was reading newspapers to you here in the east room and you was walking across the floor smoking ; and I believe that's all that's got you in 'em. Well, says he, who made 'em. Well, says I, Mr. Johnston made 'em, and a good natured funny sort of a chap he is too as I've seen any where this side of Downingville, Johnston, says he, Johnston, why he has made picters of me before, and made me look worse than ten thousand Indians. How has he made me look in these?— Why pretty well, says I, considering, ex- cept in the last one where you was walking across the floor smoking. In that one he's made your legs so monstrous long, it seems as though you could 256 LETTERS OF wade across the Potomac with three steps, and run from here to Tennessee in half a day. I felt so cross when I first see it, I almost wished it burnt up. But stop, says the President, let us think of that a minute. I aint so clear, says he but what Johnston is about right after all. Had n't a feller ought to have as long legs as them to run as well as I did, both heats for the Presidency? Why you know, Major, there wasn't another candidate could come within gun-shot of me any where. And if I should run again for a third heat, says he, I should leave 'em all behind, Van Buren and all, unless you should be a candidate, Major, said he, giving me a slap on the shoulder; if you should run against me, says he, I think it would be rather a tough pull, for I find the people have taken most as much of a liking to you as they have to me. But I told him he need n't be concerned about that, for I knew too well what belonged to friendship and good manners to think of doing that, — After we got our smoke out, we let the subject drop, and the President is waiting to see one of the books. It seems as if this Congress come together de- termined to have a real whirlwind all winter. Mr. McDutBe raves like a mad lion; I thought when he was making a speech 'tother day that he would stave his bench all to pieces, he slat things round so. And Mr. Clay is as full of mischief as he can live. He's been bothering us with some pesky thing or other the whole time snice he has been here. When the Sen- ate sent to the President for that document that he read to the Cabinet last September about removing the Deposites, I did n't know one spell but the old Gineral would a took his cane and gone right into the Senate room and drove 'em all out together and told 'em to go home about their business. But I talked to him and pacified him, and got him pretty well cooled down at last. And then says he, INIajor, what would you do about it.'' Well, says I, Gineral, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 259 supposin the Senate should ask you to send 'em one of my letters, what would you tell 'em? Why, says he I would tell 'em that they had no busmess with it ' Well says I, Gmeral, what is the difference between one of my letters to you and one of your letters to the Cabinet? None at all, says he and i 11 be hanged if they get^ it; and he sot right down and wrote to 'em and told 'em so. , ., x n • Well then we sot and smoked a little while, talking about one thing another, and at last the President broke out again about the Senate sendmg to him tor that document that he read to the Cabinet; and all at once he started up and catched his hat and cane, and says he, Maior, if I dont put a veto upon them chaps my name is n't Andrew Jackson, and he whisked out of doors before I had time to think. I had my shoes off and my feet up against the jam, but I shpped em on as quick as I could, and out after him. But by the time I got out he was away down Pennsylvany Ayenu eyer so far pulling for the Congress house as fast as he could go. I pulled on after him and overtook him jest as he was going into the benate room. And I took hold of his arm, and says 1 Gineral, have n't I always advised you well? And he stopt and looked round at me, and the rinkles begun to smooth out of his face, jest as they always do when he looks at me, and says he yes. Major, 1 must say that. Well, says I, gineral, then my opin- ion is, that you better stop and think of this busmess a little before you go into the Senate to kick up a bobbery. There's Mr. Clay making a speech now; and if you should make a drive right m amoiig em it would be like going into a hornet's nest. 1 he op- position you know have the majority, and they d flock round Clay as thick as though he was the queen bee in a beehive, and they might be too many for you. Says he. Major, I should n't be afraid of 'em if there was five times as many; but I never did know your 260 LETTERS OF MAJOR JACK DOWNING. advice to prove wrong yet, so if you think it 's best I'll stop and consider of it a little. After awhile 1 got him to go back to the house again and be con- tented with sending the letter that they should n't have the document. There was a man come along here tother day with some capital picters of me, engraved from that one painted by Mr. Harris that lives down there in Port- land. The President was very much tickled with 'em. He bought one and had it hung up right by the side of Mr. Van Buren's, and I've seen him stand there since by the hour together looking at 'em, first at me and then at Mr. Van Buren. I'll write to you again pretty soon and let you know something more about matters and things here. If Cousin Ephraim goes down to the Legislater to Augusta this winter I wish he would write to me and let me know how they get along there, for I feel a kind of a hankering to hear from 'em always ever since that first winter I spent with 'em in Portland. P. S. I had a letter tother day from Mr. Lilly, Wait and Co. telling that two editions of my book was most all sold, and they were jest agoing to work to sterrytype it; and they did n't know but they should want a little something to fill up two or three more pages. So if they should v/ant any thing, I dont know but you had better let 'em have this letter to put in. The President sends his respects to you, and to Uncle Joshua if you should have a chance to send them up to him. I remain your faithful friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. BIOGRAPHY OF SA.M PATCH. 261 MAJOR DOWNING'S BIOGRAPHY OF SAM PATCH, THE JUMPER. Note, by the Editor. There are some striking parallels between the race run by the renowned Sam Patch, of jumping memory, who figured in this jump- ing world in the year, i^anno Domini) one thousand eight hundred and twenty-nine, and the no less re- nowned Major Jack Downing, who is figuring away * in the full tide of successful experiment' at this pres- ent era. We think it fortunate for the memory of the jumping hero, as well as for the world, that his wonderful achievements have been recorded by so il- lustrious a genius and accomplished writer as Major Downing. It is fitting that their memory should go down to posterity together. They were both humble in their origin, and both were aspiring and lofty in their ambition. Neither of them however ever stoop- ed to run after popularity, for popularity always run after them. Sam commenced with taking small jumps, and Jack ^^ommenced with reaching after small offi- ces. Sam's ambition soon led him to leap from high bridges and factory walls, and Jack began anon to think of a Governor's chair and a seat in the Cabinet at Washington. Sam at length would stop nothing short of jumping down the falls of Gennesee and Ni- agara, and Jack has fixed his eye upon the lofty mark and is pressing forward with full vigor for the Presidency of the United States. Sam's last jump was a fatal one, and we sincerely hope the parallel may not be carried out, but that the Major may yet see many good days, and continue to serve his coun- try as faithfully as he has hitherto done. But we must explain how Major Downing came to be the biographer of Sam Patch. While Mr. Downing (we say Mr., because it was 262 MAJOR downing's biography before he received any office) was attending upon the Legislature of Maine in 1830, one day when the wheels of government were clogged and some of the Senators had run away and there was nothing doing, Mr. Downing came into our room, and sat down and looked over a file of newspapers. He soon got upon the achievements of Sam Patch, whose career had a short time before closed, and he read his history through. Mr. Downing's head was full of the mat- ter. He never read any thing before that filled him with such intense interest. He had got upon the track of a kindred spirit, and he was all animation. He went home with us and spent the night ; but he could talk of nothing and think of nothing but Sam Patch. He had got his story by heart, and he was talking it over in his sleep all night. In the morning he rose pale and nervous. Says he, ' I believe that story of Sam Patch has been ground over in my head more than forty times to-night, and its got so now it comes through my head in lines all about the same length, jest like rolls out of a carding machine; and if you '11 give me some paper and pen and ink, I'll put it down.' We furnished him accordingly, and he sat down and wrote the following splendid piece of biography, which we published in the Cou- rier at the time and now insert in the volume of his life and writings. BIOGRAPHY OF S.V3I PATCH. Pawtucket is a famous place, Where cotton cloth is made, And hundreds think it no disgrace To labour at the trade. Among the spinners there was one, Whose name was Samuel Patch ; He moped about, and did his stent — Folks thought him no great scratch. OF SAM PATCH. 263 But Still a maggot, in his head, Told Sam lie was a ninny, To spend his life in twirling thread, Just like a spinning Jenney. And if he would become renown'd, And live in song or story, Twas time he should be looking round For deeds of fame and glory. ' What shall 1 do ? ' quoth honest Sam, ' There is no war a-brewing ; And duels are but dirty things. Scarce worth a body's doing. ' And if I would be President, I see I'm up a tree, For neither prints, nor Congress-men, Have nominated me.' But still that maggot in his head Told Sam he was a gump, For if he could do nothing else, Most surely he could jump. Ay, right, quoth Sam, and out he went, And on tiie bridge he stood. And down he jump'd full twenty feet. And plung'd into the flood. And when he safely swam to land, He stood thei-e like a stump. And all the gaping crowd cried out, 'O what a glorious jump.' New light now shone in Samuel's eyes, His heart went pit a pat ; ' Go, bring a ladder here,' he cries ; ' I'll jump you more than that.' 264 MAJOR downing's biography The longest ladder iu the town Against the factory was rear'd, And Sam clomb up, and then jump'd down, And loud and long the gapers cheer'd. Besides the maggot in his head, Sam's ear now felt a flea ; 'I'll raise some greater breezes yet: What's this dull town to me ? ' And off he went on foot, full trot. High hopes of fame his bosom fired, At Paterson, in Jarsay State, He stopt awhile, for Sam was tired ; And there he mounted for a jump. And crowds came round to view it, And all began to gape and stare. And cry, ' How dare you do it ? ' But Sam ne'er heeded what they said. His nerves want made to quiver. And down he jump'd some fifty feet. And splash'd into the river. ' Hoo-rah,' the mob cried out amain, ' Hoo-rah,' from every throat was pouring, And Echo cried, 'Hoo-rah' again, Like a thousand lions roaring. Sam's fame now spread both far and wide, And brighter grew from day to day. And wheresoe'er a crowd convened, Patch was the lion of the play. From shipmasts he would jump in sport, And spring from highest factory walls; And proclamation soon was made, That he would leap Niagara falls ,,PifF " While Sam approached those awful falls, And leapt them like a frog." OF SAM PATCH. 267 * What for ?' inquired an honest Hodge, ' Wliy scare to death our wives and mothers ? ' 'To show that some things can be done,' Quoth Sam, ' as well as others.' Ten thousand people thronged the shores, And stood there all agog, While Sam approached those awful falls. And leapt them like a frog. And when they saw his neck was safe, And he once more stood on his feet. They set up such a deafening cheer, Niagara's roar was fairly beat. Patch being but a scurvy name, They solemnly did there enact. That he henceforward should be call'd * Squire Samuel O'Cataract.' And here our hero should have stopt. And husbanded his brilliant fame ; But, ah, he took one leap too much, And most all heroes do the same. Napoleon's last great battle prov'd His dreadful overthrow. And Sam's last jump was a fearful one, And in death it laid him low. 'Twas at the falls of Genessee, He jump'd down six score feet and five, And in the waters deep he sunk. And never rose again alive. The crowd, wiih fingers in their mouths, Turn'd homeward, one by one. And oft with sheepish looks they said, ' Poor Sam's last job is done.' APPENDIX. t In which are published some of Major JDowning's letters J that he never wrote. JVote by the Editor. The following paragraph from Mr. Walsh's National Gazette, published some two or three months ago, comes in so pat upon the pres- ent occasion, that we cannot refrain from copying it. ' It has been the fate of all successful authors, to have counterfeits who deal with their originals as Hamlet says that some players imitate nature. The Rabelais, the Swifts, the Voltaires suffered in their day by the productions of interlopers of the sort; — mere bunglers attempted to personate them, and con- founded the less discriminating or critical part of the reading public. Major Jack Downing has paid in like manner, the penalty of genius and popularity; and he has complained of the hardship and injustice, in a characteristic vein. We humbly advise him to write over the whole story of President Jackson's late expedition. It might confidently be predicted that a full narrative from his pen, duly authenticated, would obtain as much vogue in these United States, as did Peter Plymley's Letters in Great Britain.' Major Downing's letters were commenced in the Portland Courier, in January 1830, and have been APPENDIX. 269 continued in that paper regularly up to the present time, Nov. 1833. The real Major has never sent any letter to any other paper. Though counterfeit or imitation letters occasionally appeared in other papers, it was not till President Jackson's tour to New England, that they were published in any con- siderable numbers. At that time the counterfeiters took a new start. Roused by the Major's account of their ' coming on full chisel,' and of his shaking hands for the President at Philadelphia, every body betook themselves to writino- Jack Downing;, till their letters almost overshadowed the land. The great mass of them were about as much like the original letters, as a hawk is like a hand-saw. Most of them had noth- ing to recommend them but extreme bad spelling, without point, wit, or moral. Others, which were written with some ability, were often deformed by low blackguardism, indelicacy, or profanity, qualities which it is believed are not to be found in the writ- ings of the genuine Major. A few of the best speci- mens of the imitations are copied in the following pages. We cannot but remark however, in passing, that it appears to us to be an unjustifiable invasion of the Major's rights, for others to assume his name. It is really as much a forgery in point of honor and equity, as it would be for them to affix to their letters the name of Andrew Jackson. If they choose to at- tempt to write in the Major's style, they are at lib- erty to do it, as they would be to attempt the style of any other author; but we believe all honorable men will say, they have no moral right to assume his name. 23* 270 APPENDIX. No. I. Being the genuine letter of old Mr. Zophar Downing, ' amost eighty-three yere old.' [JVote. — The following letter, we believe, was sent originally in the New York Commercial Advertiser, though we are not sure but it was a Baltimore paper. We regard it as the best picture, * drawd off from nater,' that we have seen among the numerous imitations of the true letters of the Downing family. One thing is certain about it, whether the Major has an uncle in the west- ern States or not, this letter bears indubitable evidence of having been written by a person eighty three years old.} S Uppington, Western Resarve, } Tuesday, June 5, A. D. 1833, N. S. To MY Nefew John Downing: — I am got to be amost eighty three Yere old, and I'm in my eighty third year now, and its so long since I have took any Pen in my hand to write any thing nor a Letter to any Boddy living for now going on a very long Time. And what makes it particular bad for me is that my Fingers is got stiff with Rhumatiz and cold, and is all Thums, as much as tho they was froze in the Winter. — Your Aunt is sick abed; slie ketch'd cold some Time in Aperil, and I don't know when she will ever git over it; she is in her eighty second Year most as old as I be, we are both very old and prety much done with this World, so to speake. I did not ever expect to write any more Letters to my Frinds because I'm in my eighty third Year and am too old most to write Letters. But you writ a Letter to me from the Citty of Washington and it was throw 'd out of the Stage Wensday as it drove by. And when I redd about your goin to take the President of These United States to Downingvil then I said to your Aunt my dear I must try and write an Answer to Jenny's Letter. APPENDIX. 271 I was jeest about as old as you be John when the Great Washington died, 14 day of December, and was with him and spoke with him seventeen year before, when he left the Army and wisht I might live many yeares, and what you writ to me makes me think a good deal of that time. I shant forget it to my dyin day — but I hope you wont have Ardint Sperrits in your Town on the Occasion. I dont drink any more Flip nor Tody sence 17 August A. D. 1831 and am better fort, and hope Brother Joshua has stopped. Two of my Cows was lost last year by Destemper and one of Mr. Doolittles who lives oposite, is a hard worken Man. Some Destemper was here this yere but I follerd what was said in the Temperance Almanick and they was cured in time to git over it. I desire that my Brother Joshua woud write a Letter to me to let me know whether he is going to make out as well with his Ternips as he did 3 year ago, he wrote to your Aunt about it. I tryde that Plan here, but it dont do in this Soil, it is to dry most of it. Your Aunt tells me she dont think Brother Joshua can be so strong of his Age as I be, seeing he hant writ any of us since that Account of his Garding Sauce turnin out so remarkable good that year. It is thirty-two years ago next month since I was in Downingville, how is Deacon Wiloby and his fam- ily and his daughter Sooky was uncommon humer- some, but your aunt always used to say she thot Sooky was a little too fond of seeing peeple perlite and that she was too espirin for Downingvil when she was young and a comely child. I thank you John for some newspapers you sent to me last when so much was writ about the President and the Vice Presi- dent, one spell I was afeard that the poor salvages in Georgia State was agoin to suffer till the great Pro- clamation to the Nuliphiers as they are called which you sent to me, but I hope they are not now, they are a sufferin Peeple certin. If you do take the Presi- 272 APPENDIX. dent east I hope there is no boddy but what will treat him respect. You know John I dont know much about politix, but I know something of my bible, and I hope I shall ahvais read in it while I continue to live, and it says in the 2nd Book of Samuel, about Absa- lom's setting by the gate and shakin hands and kissin every boddy that passed by, and whisperin in their ears what he would do if he was king, and you know mor about the Vice President, and I ask you if that man aint adoin so too, and if it is not some boddys duty to speak to the President about it. But my hand shakes some, writin so much, and give my love and aunts to all our relations and to the neighbours of yours that I used to know. I am your loving Uncle, ZOPHAR DOWNING. No. 11. BANK REPORT. To the Editor of the JV*. Y. Daily Advertiser. Major Downing's Official Report on the United States Bank. Published by ' authority.' Rip Raps, August 4th, 18a3. Dear Sir, — I have jest got here after examinin the Bank; and it was the toughest job, ever I had in my life. The Gineral was so bent on my doing it, that I had to ' go ahead,' or I'd sneak'd out the first day. I was nigh upon a week about it, figerin and siferin all the while. Mr. Biddle see quick enuf it was no fool's journey I come on; and I made some of his folks scratch their heads, I tell you. I gin 'em no notice of my comin, and I jump'd right in the thickest on 'em there one day, when they were tum- APPENDIX. 273 blin in and shellin out the munny like corn ' Now, says I ' my boys, I advise all on ye to brush up your multiplication tables, for I am down upon you with aligation, and the rule of three, and vulgar fractions; and if I find a penny out of place, the Gineral shall know it. I'm no green horn, nor member of Congress, nor Judge Clayton, nor Mr. Cambreleng, neither, says I. As soon as Mr. Biddle read the letter the Gineral sent by me, says, he ' Major, I'm glad the Gineral has sent some one at last that knows some- thins and can sive a strait account;' and with that he called all the Bank folks, and tell'd 'em to bnng their books together. ' Now,' says he, ' Major, which eend shall we begin at first.' ' It makes no odds which,' says I, ' all I care about is to see if both eends meet; and if they don't, Mr. Biddle,' says I i ts all over with you and the bank— you'll all go, hook and line '—and then we off" coats and went at it. 1 tound some of them are fellers there plagy sharp at siferin. They'd do a sum by a kinder short Dilworth quick as a flash I always use a slate— it comes kinder natu- ral to me; and I chalk'd her off* there the first day and fiaur'd out nigh upon 100 pretty considerable tut sums." There was more than three cart load of books about us, and every one on 'em bigger than the Dea- con's family Bible. And sich an etarnal batch ot hg- erin I never see, and there wasn't a blot or scratch in the whole on 'em. I put a good many questions to Mr. Biddle, tor the Gineral gin me a long string on 'em; and I thought some would stagger him, but he answered them all jest as glib as our boys in Downingville do the catakize, from the chief ' eend of man,' clean through the peti- tions—and he did it all in a mighty civil way too, ther was only one he kinder tried to git round, and that was— how he come to have so few of the Gineral s folks among the Directors until very lately? ' Why,' says he, ' Major, and Major,' says he (and then he got 274 ArPENDix. up and tpok a pinch of snuff and offered me one) says he, ' Major, the Bank knows no.party ; and in the first go off, you know, the Gineral's friends were all above matters of so little importance as Banks and Banking. If we had put a branch in Downingville,' says he, ' the Gineral would not have had occasion to ask such a question,' and with that he made me a bow; and I went home and took dinner with him. It is plagy curious to hear him talk about millions and thousands; and I got as glib too at it as he is; and how on earth I shall git back agin to ninepences and four-pence- happenies, I can't tell. Arter I had been figerin away there nigh upon a week, and used up four or five slate pencils, and spit my mouth as dry as a cob, rubbin out the sums as fast as I did them, Iwrit to the Gineral, and tell'd him it was no use; I could find no mistake; but so long as the Bank was at work, it was pretty much like counting a flock of sheep in a fall day when they are jest let into a new stubble, for it was all the while crossing and mixing, and the only way was, to lock up all the Banks, and as fast as you can count 'em black their noses. ' Now,' says I one day to Squire Biddle, ' I'll jest take a look at your money bags, for they tell the Gin- eral you han't got stuff enuf in the Bank to make him a pair of spectacles; none of your rags,' says I, ' but the real grit;' and with that he call'd two or three chaps in Quaker coats, and they opened a large place about as big as the ' east room' and sich a sight I never see — boxes, bags and kags, all full, and should say nigh upon a hundred cord. Says I, ' Squire Biddle," what on earth is all this.? for I am stumped.' *0,' says he, 'Major, that's our Safety Fund.' ' How you talk!' says I. ' Now,' says I, ' is that all genwine?' ' Every dollar of it,' says he. ' Will you count it. Major?' says he. 'Not to-day,' says I; 'but as the Gineral wants me to be particular, I'll APPENDIX. ^"75 lest hussle some of 'em;' and at it I went, hammer and file. It raly did me good for 1 did not think there was so much real chink in all creation. So when I got tired, I set down on a pile, and tooK ou my wd- let and begun to count over some of the safety fund notes I gotlhaved with on the grand towe. Here says I, 'Squire Biddle, I have a small trifle I should 1^'e to' barter with you ; it's all ;' safety und,'' says I • ' and Mr Van Buren's head is on most all on em. But as soon as he put his eye on '^m, he shook h head. I see he had his eye teeth cut Well, say. I, ' it's no matter;' but it lifted my dander considerable. 'Now,' says 1, 'Mr. Biddle, I've got one more question to put to you, and then I'm through. You say your bills are better than the hard dollars this puzzles me, and the Gineral too Now, how is this? ^Vell,' says he, 'Major, I'll tell you: Suppose you had a bushel of potatoes in Downingville, and you wanted to send them to Washington, how much would it cost to get them there?' ' Well,' says I, 'about two shillinslawful-for I sent a barrel here to the Gineral, last fall, and that cost me a dollar freight ' Well ' says he, ' suppose I've got potatoes in VVash- incton'iest as good as yours, and I take your potatoes in Downingville, and give you an order to receive a bushel of potatoes in Washington, wouldn t you save two shillins lawful by that? We sometimes charge, <.avs he ' a trifle for drafts, when the places are dis- tant but never as much as it would cost to carry the dollars;' and with that we looked into the accounts agin, and there it was. Says I, ' Squire Biddle, I see it'^now as clear as a whistle.' i ,u r^- When I cTot back to Washmgton, I found the Gin- eral off- to the 'Rip Raps,' and so I arter him One feller there tell'd me I couldn't go to the Rip Raps— that the Gineral was there to keep off" business; but . as soon as I told him who I was, he ordered a boat and I paddled off". 276 APPENDIX. The Gineral and I have talked over all the Bank business; he says it is not best to publish my report, as he wants it for the message; and it would only set them Stockfish nibblin agin in Wall Street. I made him stare when I tell'd him about the dollars I saw there; and once and awhile he would rinkle his face up like a ball of ravilins; and when I tell'd him Bid- die would n't give me any of his ' Safety Fund' for any of Mr. Van Buren's that I had with me, the Gineral took out his wallet, and slung it more than five rods into the brakers. We are now pretty busy, fitting and jointing the beams and rafters of the message; and if Mr. Van Buren dont get back before we begin to shingle it, I guess that his Safety Fund will stand but a poor chance. The Gineral don't care much about having his head for a sign board, but says he, ' Major, when they put my head on one eend of a Bank Bill, and Mr. Van Buren's on tother eend, and " promise to pay Andrew Jackson," and then blow up, it's too bad — I won't al- low it — it shant be.' The Gineral says, if he allows Amos Kendle to make his report about the State Banks, it is but fair to let me publish mine about Square Biddle's Bank. So I am getting mine ready. We have a fine cool time here, and ain't bothered with Office seekers; we can see 'em in droves all along shore, waitin for a chance. One fellow swam off* last night to get appointed to some office — the Gineral thinks of making him minister to the King of the Sandwich Islands, on account of their being all good swimmers there. Yours, J. DOWNING, Major, Downingville Militia, 2d Brigade. APPENDIX, 277 No. III. Giving some account of Peleg BisseVs Churn. Rip Raps, Aug. 17, 1833. To the Editor of the JVeiv-York Daily Advertiser. My Good Friend. — "The Government'' will lesive here on Saturday, so you must tell all our friends to stop sending any more letters here. We go strait to Washington, to put things to rights there for winter. I and the Gineral have got things now pretty con- siderable snug; and it is raly curious to see how much more easy and simple all the public affairs go on than they did a spell ago, when Mr. Adams was President. If it warnt for Congress meetinwe cou'd jest go about pretty much where we pleased, and keep things strait too: and I begin to think now with the Gineral, that ater all, there is no great shakes in man- agin the affairs of the nation. We have pretty much all on us ben joggin about now since last grass; and things are jest as strait and clear now as they was then. The Gineral has nigh upon made up his mind, that there is no use to have any more Congress. They only bother us — they wou'd do more good to stay at home, and write letters to us tellin what is goin on among 'em at home. It would save a considerable sum of money too; and I'm also sartin that there is a plagy raft of fellows on wages that dont earn nothin. Howsoever, we are goin on makin things more sim- ple every day, and we once and a while nock off a pretty considerable number of cogg wheels and trun- nel heads. The Gineral says he likes things simple as a mouse trap. But what I like most is, he wont have no one about him who outranks me, so there is me, and 24 278 APPENDIX. Major Barry, and Major Smith, and Major Earl, and Major Donaldson, and Major Lewis, and Major Ea- ton; — and the major part of a pretty considerable of a man to do the printing, and tell the folks where we be, and once and a while where the land sales and contracts be too. There is enuff on us to do all that's wanted. Every day jest ater breakfast, the Gineral lights his pipe, and begins to think pretty hard, and I and Major Donaldson begin to open letters for him; and there is more than three bushels every day, and all the while coming. We dont git through more than a bushel a day; and never trouble long ones, unless they come from Mr. Van Buren, or Mr. Kindle, or some other of our great folks. Then we sort 'em out, jest as Zekel Bigelow does the mackerel at his Pack- in Yard, for tho' there are plagy many more sorts than he finds among fish, we ony make three sorts, and keep three big baskets, one marked ' not red,* another ' red, and worth nothin,' and another ' red, and to be answered.' And then all the Gineral has to do is to say, ' Major, I reckon we best say so and so to that,' and I say 'jest so,' or not, as the no- tion takes me — and then we go at it. We keep all the Secretaries, and the Vice Presi- dent, and some District Atlornys, and a good many more of our folks, and Amos Kindle, moving about; and they tell us jest how the cat jumps. And as I said afore, if it warnt for Congress meetin once a year, we'd put the Government in a one horse wagon and go jest where we liked. The Gineral was amazingly tickled t'other day. Peleg Bissel — (you know Peleg, who is all the while whitlin, and sawin, and makin clocks, and apple par- ers, and churns, and lives nigh Seth Sprague's School house, down to Downingville,) well, Peleg sent the Gineral a new churn of his own invention; and he calls it the ' Jackson Churn,' he wants a patent for it. The cute critur says, in his letter to the Gineral, that APPENDIX. 279 that are churn is jest like his government — its ony got one wheel, and a smasher; and that it will make more butter than any other churn, and out of eny most anything. The Gineral is so well pleased with it, he will set and turn it nearly all day. Says he, * Major, I like this ere churn amazingly, that Bissel is a knowin fellow. If that churn had been made by Congress, it would have more than fifty wheels and springs, and make no more butter ater all. Major,' says he, ' tell Peleg I thank him; and send him a pa- tent.' And so I did; and I telled him in the letter, that the Gineral would keep his churn in the hall of the white house, to let folks see that it did n't require as many cog wheels to make butter as they think on, and then when they come up chamber, in the Cabinet Room, and find ony me and the President, they '11 un- derstand it the better. When the Gineral come to sign this letter, 'well,' says he, 'Major, that's just what I was thinkin on. We get every day an ever- lastin bach of letters from Mr. Van Buren and Amos Kindle, and they are so plagy jagged, that we cant make 'em fit exactly with some others, eny most as jagged, from the South and West, and all from our folks too. One wants one thing, and one wants t'oth- er. Some of our folks down South say, if the Bank is put down, we shall all be split up into splinters there. And jest so, ony t'other way, they say, we shant find in a week any of our folks north if the Bank is re chartered, and some talk of the Nulhfiers in Georgia going for ]\Ir. Van Buren, and that ^ve must look out sharp, and not do nothin agin 'em. And some say that are tower of Mr. Webster away West, and his speeches, bother some on 'em plagily. I was a little stumped for a spell myself; and I tell'd the Gineral, says I ' Gineral, if you expect me to satisfy all these folks, you're mistaken, we cant do it,' says I. 'Well then,' says he, ' we must send for 280 APPENDIX. Mr. Van Buren.' This kinder nettled me, and says I, ' Gineral, you ha'nt forgot that are churn already' — 'no, no,' says he, 'we'll stick to that Major.' ' Well then,' says I, ' do you think that Mr, Van Bu- ren will use that are churn? he keeps his bread but- tered,' says I, * by more wheels than that are churn's got.' ' Well Major,' says the Gineral, ' he is a plagy curious critter, ater all — he'll make wheels turn some- times right agin one another, yet he gits along — and when he lets his slice fall, or some one nocks it out of his hand, it always somehow falls butter side up' — ' well,' says I, ' Gineral, dont you know why? ' ' not exactly,' says he, ' Major' — ' well, 'says I, — ' I'll tell you— he butters both sides at once,' says I. The Gineral drew his face all into a rumple for about a minute, and then he snorted right out. The Gineral talks of goin to the Hermitage next spring — he says he thinks he has done enuf for the country — and I think so too — he says I may go along with him or stay and lend Mr. Van Buren a hand — we'll say something about this in the Message. Yours as before, J. DOWNING, Major. Dovningville Militia, 2d Brigade. No. IV. The Public Crib at Washington. Washington, August 30, 1833. To Mr. Divight-^JVeiv-York Daily Advertiser. Ml GOOD OLD Friend — Ever since we got ' the Gove nment' back here from the Rip Raps, we have been 3 busy as if we was all on us cocking hay jist afore i shower. APPENDIX. 281 I tell'd you some time ago that I and the Gineral was fittin and jointin the beams and rafters of the message, but almost every day some plaguy new mo- tion comes in from Mr. Van Buren, and some other of our folks, and we have to chizzle new mortises, and run new braces and string pieces, so that I begin to think it will look curious enuf when its done. The Gineral says he dont care how it fronts, only he is determined to show a sharp corner to the NuUifiers. We shall have a good deal to say about the Grand Tower; there is nothin since the 8th of January at New-Orleans tickles the Gineral half so much. Every time we talk about it, the Gineral gits right up, and says he, ' Major, I ony wish I was fifty years younger, and then,' says he, 'give me the yankees east of Horse Neck, and I'd like no better sport than to have nullification all over the rest of creation.' When things dont go right, and the Gineral gits a little wrathy, if I ony tell him the yankees are ready to back him, he is as firm as granite. It would make you crawl all over to read that letter we writ to France, when we come to hear that the King there kinder shuffled round that bill we drawed on him. ' He wont pay it, wont he? ' Says he — ' Major, what do you think of that }' — 'why,' says I, ' Gineral, I think its a nasty mean action — and a rascally one too, says I.' 'Well,' says he, 'that's enuff*,' — and then we writ the letter, — its jest like Zekel Bigelow's speech — it cuts, shaves, and makes the hair fly — and if it dont bring the money, I'm mistaken. If Mr. Livingston had stayd one week longer in York, the Gineral was for sending me right out. The most curious part of ' the Government' here, is to manage the office seekers. You see, things aint now as they was afore Mr. Van Buren 's time, then it was kinder divided round among the Departments. The Post Master Gineral appointed all the Post Masters and their folks. The Secretary of the 282 APPENDIX. Treasury appointed all the folks in the Custom Houses, and all folks who collected money. These two had an everlastin batch of fellers to appint, and made them feel pretty considerable big, and then the War Secretary had a good slice in appinting the ca- dets, and Ingen Agents, and all the contracts was kinder sifted round among the Departments; and so by the time a new President was to be made, some of these Secretaries was aleetle bigger than the Pres- ident himself. Now this is the way they kinder jock- ied Mr. Adams, who got to be the smallest man at Washington, by lettin other folks plant his corn, and do his huskin; and afore he knowd it, his own held was all in weeds — and theirs well bowed, rich and clean as a whistle. But things aint so now, we've got ony one crib, and that's awhappin one too, and ony one door to it; and when we shell out our corn, we take good care and know well who gets it, and where he is going to plant it; and that aint all — we make 'em agree about the Huskin Frolic * for that's the best ont arter all. The longer I am in ' the Government ' the more I larn. But I must allow that of all the inventions I've hearn on of Mr. Van Buren's, this is about the slickest. There is ony one thing wantin, and that he is tryin for pretty hard — and that is the Bank. If he can ony get that in the crib too, Virginy fences would n't stop our cattle. Ony think what an everlastin raft of fellows we should have — all the Presidents and Cashiers, and Clerks, and Money Counters, about the crib, from Downingville to New-Orleans! — and that aint the best ont; we would have a branch alongside every post office to keep our postages safe. * The Major, we presume, means the Elections, or Hustings^ by this metaphor. APPENDIX. 283 I should like this well enuf if I was sartin I and the Gineral and Mr. Van Buren was to be here all the while, to keep a good look out on the crib door. But the Gineral talks of goin hum to put the Hermit- age to rights; and I am in the notion that Congress is a leetle too strong for ' the Government' when the Gineral aint in it — and I shall go with him. I am eny most fag'd out myself, and I begin to think with the Gineral, I have done enuf for the country. We are lookin for Amos Kindle now every hour. He writ the Gineral tother day, and teld him my ' Bank Report' warn't true, and that I must have got a loan of Squire Biddle. Now that's jist the way with some folks. What they dont know they guess at; and it's jist so with old Miss Crane, who keeps the tavern this side Downingville — ^jist as sure as any one goes by without stopping, the old critur says, * There goes so and so, and has got no money, too, and he knows I would n't trust him.' Howsumever, no one can make the Gineral rathy with me. He knows I am the best friend about him; whenever they gets things in any kind of a twist or a snarl, says he, ' Major, do you unravel that. I'm the big wheel and you are the smasher,' says he; and then we jist give Peleg Bissel's churn a turn or two and all is right. You don't print my letters right — you git some words wrong and spell 'em bad. Jist so the printers sarved the Gineral s letters too; and folks thought he didn't know nothin, till we got to Cambridge, where they made a doctor on him. Your friend, J. DOWNING, Major, Downingville Militia, 2d Brigade. 284 APPENDIX. No. V. Preparation of the Message Washington, 2d Nov. 1833. To my old friend, Mr. Dwighf, of the J^few York Daily Advertiser. The Congressmen are jest beginnin to arrive here, and I suppose in a short time we shall have them here as thick as huckleberries; and the Gineral is brushin round now, and says the Message must be finished and painted offhand, and we are all as busy as bees in gittin it dove tailed together; and after next week, the Gineral says, there cant be any more alterations. It is the first message I ever had any hand in; and tho' I say it, I guess you will say it is about as com- plete a thing as ever was sent express any where. I have been to work on it ever since we was at the Rip Raps; and tho' it has been sometimes all pulled to bits, to git in some notions we did n't think on, yet it will look pritty slick, I tell you when it's done; and we will lay on paint enuf to kiver up all the cracks and seams. We shall give a pritty good lick at the Bank, and won't leave as much on 't standing as would make a good sized oven. It is curious now to see how easy it is to build up, or nock all to bits, any thing on pa- per. Now jest see about the Bank. There it stands in Chestnut street, with its hundred cord of specie, and its cart load of books; and its branches here and there, and all busy and full of clarks, and directors, and folks in Europe, and all about creation dealin with it; and the brokers in Wall street all busy about it; and Biddle's bills goin about, and most folks APPENDIX. 285 thinkin they are better than hard dollars; and all the old men and women holdin the stock, supposin it will go up agin as high as they paid for it; and I and the Gineral, and Amos Kindle, and Mr. Van Buren, talkin over it; and one line in the Message nocks it all into kindlin wood. For you see when ' the Gov- ernment' says a thing must be jest so! there is no help for it. We can't stand to chat about trifles. The Gineral has smashed three pipes the last time we talked about it. ' Biddle and the Bank must be smashed,' says he, ' Major;' — and so smash they go, Congress or no Congress, The next thing was the Ingins. Here the Gineral is at home, and I don't pretend to say nothin for I never did like an Ingin, and never can. The Cher- okees give us a good deal of trouble in Georgia last year; but the Gineral took sides with Georgia, be- cause he had a good many friends there, and Mr. Van Buren had too; for that State was the ony one that nominated him Vice-President a spell ago; and if he had got in there, and Mr. Crawford President, who was ailin all over with some plagy applephxy — I and the Gineral would never have been hearn on arter- wards. But no matter — the Gineral says he didn't make that treaty with the Cherokees; and it was made so long ago, he has enymost forgot it: and treaties oughtent to last forever. But this treaty with the Creeks in Alabama he did make, and he knows all about it ; and he means to stand by it, and turn all the squatters off the land in Alabama, jest as they wanted him to do in Georgia; but he would n't. There is trouble enuf about it, I tell you; and you dont know nothing about it in York. But the Gin- eral is tickled to death about it; and as soon as he saw the Proclamation of the Governor of Alabama, you never see a critur so spruced up as the Gineral was. Major, says he, we shall have another Nullifi- cation this Congress, arter all. You need 'nt say 286 APPENDIX. much about it, says he, in the Message, — we'll keep that for a Proclamation. Well, says I, Gineral, you are a master hand at gettin into trouble. But, says he, IMajor, aint I a master one in gittin out of one, says he.^ We've got an old trunk up chamber, full of troubles — old Laws, and Treaties, and Contracts, and State Claims; and whenever we want any powder, all we 've got to do is to open that, and look among old papers and get up a row in no time. The Gineral likes this a leetle better than I do; for the most of the labor falls on me, and the ony way I can git rid of it, is to make our folks down stairs do it, if I see it gives any of 'em a boost with his party — for I dont care nothin about any thing here but the Gineral; and if I can git him threw this Congress, its pretty much all I care about, and he too; for ater that I'm goin with him to the Hermitage, for I expect by that time there wont be much more left of us than our beards and shoe strings. Your friend, J. DOWNING, Major, Downingville Militia, 2d Brigade. No. VI. Sir George Downing. Some account of Sir George Downing of London, sup- posed to be one of Major Doivnhig^s ancestors. From the New York Daily Advertiser. The Downings. — The celebrity of Major Jack Downing has created an intense and very natural curiosity in the public mind to know something of his origin and ancestry. Hoping that some of the down- APPENDIX. 287 east antiquaries and genealogists will favor the world with the information desired, I submit to your dis- posal the following imperfect notice of Sir George Downing, one of the IMajor's ancestors, which I have drawn from an interesting and learned work now in a course of publication, in numbers, entitled ' Memorial of the graduates of Harvard University, in Cam- brido;e, Mass. Commencing with the first class, 1G42. By John Farmer, Cor. Sec. of the N. H. Hist. Society. George Downing v/as born in London in 1624, and accompanied his parents to this country when about thirteen years of age. His father, Emanual Down- ing, a great friend of New England, was brother-in- law to John Winthrop, one of the principal founders and first governor of Massachusetts. George receiv- ed his education at Harvard College. About 1646 he returned to England, when he was soon brought into notice, being, as Gov. Winthrop says, ' a very able scholar, and of ready wit and fluent utterance.' He was appointed chaplain in the regiment of Col. John Okey, in the army of Lord Fairfax, who had command of the Parliament forces in the north. In 1653 he was commissary general, and about the same time scout-master-general of the English army in Scotland. In the same year he v/as employed in ne- gotiations with the Duke of Savoy. He seems to have been fitted by nature for scenes of political ma- noeuvering; and his principles were of such flexible character, that he could easily accommodate them to any service which the times required. In 165-5 he visited the French king on public busi- ness, and communicated his instructions in Latin. In 1657 he was appointed minister to Holland. In March, 1662, while in that country, in order to show his zeal and love for his majesty, he procured the ar- rest of John Okey, Miles Corbet, and John Bark- stead, three of the Judges who had condemned to 288 APPENDIX. death Charles I., and sent them to England for trial. Okey had been the friend of Downing, who served in his regiment as chaplain. With the other two he had co-operated in the cause of the Parliament. His conduct, therefore, in this transaction, was justly reprobated. He also spake of Cromwell as a traitor and rebel. In 1663, he was created a baronet. He informed Pepys that, when in Holland, ' he had so good spys, that he hath had the keys taken out of De Witt's (the Dutch minister) pocket when he was abed, and his closet opened and papers brought to him and left in his hands for an hour, and carried back and laid in the place again, and the keys put into his pocket. He says he hath had their most private debates, that have been between but two or three of them, brought to him, and in an hour after that hath sent word thereof to the king.' In 1671, he was again sent to Holland, but returning before he had executed the business of his mission to the satisfaction of the king, was imprisoned in the tower. He was afterwards restored to royal favor. In the difficulties which the New England colonies had with Charles II., from 1669, Mr. Downing was represented as having been very friendly to Massachusetts. He died in 1624 at the age of 60. Major Jack Downing, of Downingville, seems to have inherited his distinguished ancestor's talents for war, business, and diplomacy, and, like him, to pos- sess ready wit and fluent utterance, and to bask in the sunshine of royal favor. Whether he resembles him in other respects, time must disclose. THE END. f#c;?*^:rl:v