i' N Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2015 https://archive.org/details/spoildchildfarceObick I THE SPOILED CHILD, A FARCE, IN TWO ACTS, As PERFORMED AT THE Cfieattc laogal, Drurg lane* THIS AUTHENTIC EDITION, NOW FIRST FUBLISHED, IS STRICTLY CONFORMABLE TO THE PROMPTER^s BOOK. W. Powell, Pronpten N. B. Whoever vends fpunoas Copies will be profecated* I O N D O N: PRINTED AND PUBLISHED by BARKER amd SON, Dramatic Repository^ CREAT RUSSELL STREET, COVENT GARDEN^ [Price is. 6d« PROLOGUE, SP'OKEN BY MRS. JORDAHV Enters Gpetitng a Leftir^ Dear Madam— Difappolnted by a friend— " Promis'd a Protogue— at my poor wit's end— Ruin'd— unlefs fo good— your laughing way— " T' infinuate fomething for my lucklefs Play/' Poor l)evil ! what vt fright he's in— but why- Am I to help him— What can I fupply I I'm doom'd to fpeak but juft what Authors fay 2 t>uU, when they're dull— and fportive when they're gay Mere puppets here, obedient to their will. We love or hate— are bleft or wretched- kiU'd or kill — Mirth we put on, juft as we put on graices— And wit— that's fent home ready with our drefles,. What, tho* at night fo very fmart and charming— The dulleft mortals breathing, in the morning— Hence the nfcefop, 'ere he our merit ftamps. Of rouge all doubtful— and thefe treach'rous lamps,' Midft the loud praife, ft ill afks with cautious leeK How is flie off the ft age— what is ftie near But to my tafe— to own it tho' you're loath You're all fpoilt children of a larger growth^ Longing for each poor tinfel'd toy you fee. And only con fl ant to variety • Whilfteach, the cenfor of his own defe^ks. The d^rlmg fault with gentleft hand correfls^ E'en from his very failings draws a merit. And dooms each error but a proof of fpirit^ iv. look round tKe world — ■ When we fay world — we mean not now-a.days A huge globe, form'd of mountains— rivers— fea?— The poIifli*d mind finks from a fcene fo wide. We mean from Hyde Park Corner to Cheapfide Look thro* the world— you'll find my moral true In all the varied fliapes that rife to view. But from fpoilt children of fix feet in height. To the fpoilt child our ftage prefents to-night. Brimful of mirth he comes— Mifs Tomboy's brother. We hope you'll think they're fomething like each other. To plead his caufe flie'll try a filler's (kill, rd fain prevent her — but, " ecod you will.**— - Perhaps (he may ftiock you, of precife prim air. But Lord! what then, ftie never minds that there. The Country Girl a kindred tie may claim, She too is anxious for his future fame j And if you'll fpare him, f wears whene'er (he's able 8he*ll tread on ail your toes — under the table* Oft* have you deign'd their artlefs toils to cheer, And crown'd with flutt'ring fmiles their labours, here View then here the brother's faults, with judgment mild, And fpare the rod— altho* you Sppil the Child. BARKER AND SON Refpedfully inform the Public, they have a Colledion of Plays on Sale, which, confidered either as to its Extent or Rarity, has fcarcely been equalled, having been upwards of Thirty Years in forming, principally from the Libraries of SHELDON, ESQ. MAJOR PEARSON DR. WRIGHT MR. DODD MR. MACKLIN MR. HENDERSON DUKE OF BRIDGEWATEH DR. FARMER GHIL0. about it, be fnatches up Tom Carter's long wfeip, and lays me fo over the legs, and before I could catch hold of him, he flips out of the ftable, and was off like a (hot. Pick. Well, if I forgive him this — no — I'll fend him this moment back to fchool. — Schoal ! zoun(fey I'll fend him to fea. Eftter Mifs Pickle, Mifs F, Well, brother, yonder comes your pre- cious child~he*s muttering all the way up flairs to himfelf, fome frefh mifchief, I fuppofe. Pick. Aye, here he comes — ftand back — ^let us watch him, though I can never contain my paffion long. \they withdraw to the back of the Jlage, Enter Little Pickle. Little P, Well, fo far all gaes on rarely, dinner ihuft be nearly ready; old Poll will tafte well, I dare fay — parrot and bread fauce — ha I ha ! ha 1— they fuppofe they are going to have a nice young pheafant, an old parrot is a greater rarity, I'm fure — I can't help thinking how devilifh tough the drumfticks will be — a fine piece of work, aunt will make when it's found out — ecod, for aught I know, that may be better tun than the other ; no doubt Sukey will tell, and John too, about the horfe — a parcel of fneaking fellows, always tell, tell, tell..— I only wifh I could catch them a fchool, once^ — that is all — Pd pay them well for it Fd be bound. — Oh ! oh ! here they are, and a^J I live, ray father and aunt— it's all out I fee — to be fure Pm not got into THE ^POIL'D CHILI). 15 a fine fcrape now, I almoft wifh I was fafe at fchool again, (they come forward) Oh, fir, how do you do, fir, I was juft coming to Pick. Come, come, no fooling now — how dare you look me in the face after the mifchief you have done ? Little P, What — what have I done ? Pick, You know the value I fet upon that mare^ you have fpoilt for ever. Little P. But, fir, hear me-— indeed I was not fo much to blame, fir, not fo very much. Mijs P. Do not aggravate your faults by pretend^ ing to excufe them — ^^your father is too kind to you. Little P, Dear, fir, 1 own I was unfortunate ^ I had heard you often complain, how wild and vi* cious little Daifey was, and indeed, fir, I never faw you ride her, but I trembled lead fome fad accident might befall you. Pick. Well, and what is all this to the purpofe ? Little P. And fo, fir, I refolved, fooner than you ftiould fuffer, to venture my own neck, and fo try to tame her for you ; that was all — ^and fo I was no fooner mounted than off flie fet — I could not help that you know, fir, and fo this misfortune happen- ed, and fo, fir — but indeed, fir Pick, Could I be fure this was your motive and *tis purely love and regard for your old father makes you thus teaze and torment him — perhaps I might be inclined to ■ ■ » John, Yes, fir, but 'tis no love 5»nd regard to me made him beat me fo Little P. John, you know you were to blame. — ^ Sir, indeed the truth is, John was fcolding me for it^ and when I told him as I have told you, why I did it, and that it was to hinder you from being hurt^ ii THE SPOILED CHltt), lie faid that it was no bufiiiefs of mine, and that if your neck was broke it was no fuch great matter. Pick. What—no great matter to have my neck broke— Link P. No, fir ; fd he faid, ^nd I was vex'd to tear him fpeak fo of you, and I believe I might take up the whip, and give him a cut of t\#o On the legs — it could not hurt him much. Pick. Well, child, I believe I muft forgive you,, and fo (bail John too; aye, aye. -But 1 had for- got poor Poll — what did you roaft the parrot for^ you young dog ? Little F. Why, flf, I knew you and my aunt were both fo fond of it, 1 thought you would like to fee it well drefs*d. Pick. Hal— hal-^ha!--^^" — ^ Little P. But dear aunt, I know you mull be angry with me. and you think with reafon Mifs P. Don*t fpeak to me, I am not fo weak as your father, whatever you may fancy. Little P. But indeed, aunt, you muft hear me, had I not loved you as I do, I fhould not have thus offended you, but it was merely my regard for your €hara5ler. John. Charadler!— l_E$tit ^Vickl^ kicks him off. Little P. My deat aunt, I always heard that no lady's keep parrots or lap-dogs, 'till they can no longer keep lovers — and when at fehool, I told *em. you had a parrot, the boys all faid, then you muft be a foolifli old maid. Mifs P. Indeed! — impudent young wretches. Little P. Yes, aunt, and fo I refolved you ftiould no longer be thought fo— for I think you are a" great deal too young, and too handfome for an old maid. ( taking her hand) THE SPOILED CHILD. Pick. Come, fifter, i'faith you mufl: forgive him, female heart can withftand that. Mi/s P, Brother, you know I can forgive where I fee occafion ; but though thefc faults are thus ex- .€4jfed, how will you anfwer to a charge of fcandal .and ill-nature. J^ittle P, Ill-nature, madam — I'm fure nobody can accufe me of that. Mtfs How will you juftify the report you fpread, of my being locked up in my clofet with Mr, Tagg, the author — can you defend fo vile an at- i;«mpt to injure my reputation ? Fid. Wh^it, that too, 1 fuppofe, was from your C^.re of her character — and fo to hinder your aunt from being an old maid, you locked her up in Jier clofet with this author, as he is called. Little P, Nay, indeed, dear madam, I befeeck you — 'twas no fuch thing, all I faid was, you were amuling yourfelf in your clofet with a favourite au- thor. Mi/s P^ I amufe myfelf in my clofet with a fa- vourite author ! worfe and worfe. Pic^. Sifter have patience — hear Mifs P. I amafliamed to fee you fupport your boy in fuch infolence — I, indeed ! who am fcrupulous to a. fault ; but no longer will I remain fubjed to fuch impertinence, I quit your houfe, fir, and you fliall quit all claim to my fortune — this moment will I alter my will, and leave my money to a ftranger, fooner than to your family. £ExiU Pick. Her money to a (Iranger, leave her money toaftrangerl Oh! the three per-cent. confols— oh, the India (lock — go, child — fly, throw yourfelf at your aunt's feet— fay any thing to pleafe her I (hall run diftraded. — Ohi thofe confo/s — i6 THE SPOIUD CHILD, Little P. I am gone, fir — (hall I fay (he may die as foon as (he pleafes, but (he muft not give her mo-» nej to a ftranger. Pick. Aye, aye, there's a good boy, fay any thing to pleafe her, that will do very well— fay fhe may die as foon as (he pleafes, but Ihe muft not leave her money to a ftranger {Exit Little P.) Sure never man was fo tormented — well, I thought when my poor dear wife, Mrs, Pickle died, and left me a difconfolate widower, I ftood fome chance of being a happy man, but I know not how it is, I could bear the vexation of my wife's bad temper better than this woman's. All my married friends were as miferable asmyfelf — ^but now — faith here (becomes, and in a fine humour, no doubt. Enter Mifs Pickle. Mifs, P, Brother, I have given direftidns for my immediate departure, and am now come to tell you, 1 will perfift in my defign, ^uniefs you this moment adopt the fcheme I yefterday propofed for my ne- phew's amendment. Pick. Why, my dear fifter you know there is nothing I would not readily do to fatisfy and ap- peafe you, but to abandort my only child, to pre- tend that he is not mine—to receive a beggar brat into my arms — impOiTible Mifs P. (going) Very well, fir, then I am gone, Puk, But lifter, ftop — was ever man fo ufed — iiow long is this fcheme of yours to laft? how long am I to be deprived of him ? Mifs P. How long ! why until he is brought duly to refled upon his bad behaviour, which nothing will induce him to do, fo foon as thinking him- THE SPOIL'D CHILD, felf no longer your fon, but the child of poor parents —I yefterday fpoke to Margaret, his old nurfe, and flie fully comprehends the whole affair. Pick. But why, in addition to the quitting my own child, am I to have the torment of receiving hers ? won't the fending him away be fufficient? Mi/s P. Unlefs the plot is managed my way, 1 will have nothing to do with it, but begone — can't you perceive that his diftrefs at lofing his fituation, will be augmented by feeing it pofleffed by another — come, come, brother, a week's purgatory will re- form him, depend upon it. PicL Why, to be fure, as you fay — 'twill reform ' him, and as we (hall have our eyes upon him ai{ the while, and Margaret his own nurfe^ — Mifs P. You may be fure (he will take care of him — well, fince this is fettled, the fooner 'tis done the better — Thomas Enter Thomas. Send your young mafter. Pick, I fee you are finally refolved, and no other way will content you. — Well, heaven protefl my poor child. Mifs P. Brother, you are fo blinded by your foolifii fondnefs, that you ceafe to perceive what is for his benefit — 'tis happy for you, there is a perfon to diredt you, of my fuperior difcernment. Enter Little Pickle. Little P. Did you fend for me, aunt ? Pick. Child, come hither, I have a great fecrefc C if THE SPOIL'D CHILD. to difclofe to you, at which you will be mucU furprifed. Little ?. A fecret, fir ! Mifs P. Ye3, and one th^t requires your utmpft courage to hear— you are no longer to confider that perfon as your father, he is not fo— Margaret, who nuried you, has confeffed, and the tfiing is fulfici- ently proved, that you are not hk fon, but hers — ihe exchanged you when an infant for my real ne- phew, and her confcienee has at laft compelled her to make the difcovery. Littie P. / another perfon's child ! — impoffible!— ah! you are only joking with me now, to fee whe- ther I love you or not, but indeed (to Pickle.) I am yours — my heart tells me I am only only yours, PicL I am afraid you deceive yourfelf — there can be no doubt of the truth of Margaret's account; but ftill affure yourfelf of our protedion — but np longer can you remain in this houfe, I muftnot do an injury to my own child — you belong to others— to them you muft now go. Liitle F, Yet, fir, for an inftant hear me — ^pity me — ah too fure I know (to Old Pickle^I I am not your child— or would that diftrefs which now draws tears pi pity from a ftrapger, fail to move nature in Miss P, Comfort yourfelf, we muft ever confide^ you with compaflion and regard — but now you muft begone— Margaret is waiting without to receive you. .SONG THE SPOILED CHILD, SONG — Little Pickle, Tune— fuis Under. Since then Fm doom'd, this fad reverfe to proves To quit each objed of my infant care ; i'orn from an honoured parent's tender love. And driven the keeneft ftorms of fate to bear. Ah ! but forgive me, pitied let me part. Your frowns, too fure, wouM break my finking hearts 11. Where e'er I go, what e'er ttif lowly ftate. Yet grateful mem'ry liill fhall linger here^ Arid perhaps when mufing o'er my cruel fate. You mil may greet me with a tender tear. Ah \ then forgive me, pitied let me part. Tour ffownb too fufe would break my finking heart. £K2> OF TU£ J^IRfT ACi* ACT «• THE SPOILED CHILD: ACT IL SCENE— ^ Parlour. Enter Mifs Pickle and Margery. Mar. AND fo I was telling your ladyfliip, poor little matter does fo take it to keart, and fo weep and wail, it almoft makes me cry to hear him. Miss P. Well, well, lince he begins already to re- pent, his punifhment (hall be but (hort ; have you brought your boy with you ? Mar, Aye, have I — poor Tommy, he came from a-board a ihip but now, and is fo grown, and alter- ed — fure enough he believes every word I have told him, as your honour ordered me, and I warrant, is fo Iheepifh and Oiamefaced— but here comes my tnafter — he has heard it all already Enter Pickle. But, my lady— fliall I fetch my poor Tommy to you, he's waiting without. Pick. What, that ill-looking young rafcal in the hall? — he with the jacket and trowfers. Mar. Ay, your honour !— what, then, you have fecn him. V THB SFOIL'D CE^ILD. Pick. Seen him i— ay, and felt him too. — Th& booby met me bolt at the corner, run his curfed - carotty poll full in my face, and has loofened half the teeth in my head, I believe. Mar. Poor lad ! he^s a failor, and but aukward as yet, and fo (hy I warrant — but will your honour be kind to him. Pick. Kind to him ? Why, I am to pafs for father — am not I ? Mar, Aye, I wiili your honour had been poor Tommy's father — but no fuch luck for me, as I faj to my hulband. Pick. Indeed! — Yourhufband muft be very mucii obliged to you, and fo am I. Mar. But do your honour fee my poor Tommy, once drefled in his fine f mart clothes—— Pick. Damme ! I don't half like that Tommy* Miss P. Yes, yes, you (hall — but now go and fetch him here to us ; I flhould like much to fee him. Mar. (goin£) Do you now, madam, fpeak kindly to him — for poor boy, he's quite dafh'd. Pick. Yes, and he has dafli'd fome of my teetli out — plague on him. Miss P. Now, Mr. Pickle^ I inlift upon your ob^ ferving a proper decorum and behaviour towards this poor lad ; obferve the condig fee n lion of my deport- ment- — methings I feel a ftrange inclination already in his favour, perhaps I may advance him bye and bye, to be my page^ — ftiall I brother ? — Oh, here he comes — and I declare, as prepoffefTing a countenance as ever I beheld. THE SPOIL'D CHILD, Enier Margery and Little Pickle a% asaitor hojti Come hither child, was ever there fuch an engaging air ? Mar, Go Tommy, do you are bid, there's a good boy — tbank his honour for his goodnefs to you. Little P, Be you the old fellow that's juft come to be my father ? Pick* (aside) Old fellow! he's devilifh dafhred ta be fure — yes, I am the old fellow, as you call it — will you be a good boy ? Little P. Ay, but what will you gi' me ? — muft I be good for nothing ? Pick, (mimicking) Good for nothing ! nay, that ril fwear you are already. Well, and how long have you been come from fea ? eh, how do you like a failor's life ? Little Pickle, Sings. (NO SYMPHONYO—TuNE, Malten Oyfim. I am a brilk and fprightly lad. But juft come home from fea. Sir \ Of all the lives I ever led, A failor's life for me, Sir, Yeo, yeo, yeo — ^Yeo, yeo, yeo. Whilft the boatfwain pipes all hands. With a yeo, yeo, yeo. Sir, II. What girl but loves the merry tar ? We o'er the ocean roam. Sir, In every clime we find a port. In every port a home, Sir. Yeo, yeo, yeo— &€• THE SPOILED CHILD, ^ in. But, wlien Qur Country's foes are nigli. Each haftens to his gun, Sir, p^e make the boafting Frenchmen fly^ i^nd Ijang the haughty Don, Sir. Yep, yeo, yeo-*.&c. &c, IV. P^r foes fubdued, once more on fhore. We fpend our cafti with glee, Sir, And when all's gone, we drown our care. And out again to fea, Sir, Yeo, yeo, yeo— Yeo, yeo, yeo« And when all's gone, again to fea. With a yeo, yeo, yeo, Sir« Pui, So this is the way I am to be entertained in foture, with forecaftle jokes, and tarpauling longs. Miss P. Brother, do not fpeak fo harfhly to the poor lad, he's among ftrangers, and wants encou- ragement — come to me, my pretty boy, Til be your friend Little P. Friend ! oh, what, you're my grand- piother— father, muft not I call her granne ? Pick. What, he wants encouragement, fiftcr — ' yes, poor foul, he's among ftrangers — he's found out one relation, however, (ifter — this boy's aflu- pnce diverts me — I like him [ajide.) Little P. Granne's mortiih crofs and frumpifli — la father, what makes your mother, there, look fo plaguy foul-weather'd. Miss p. Mother, indeed. Pick. Oh, nothing at all, my dear, (he's the bed Jiumoured pcrfon in the world — ^go throw yourfelf at H THE SPOIL'!> CHILD. h&c feet, and afk her for her blefling — perhaps fhc may gi' you fomething. LMe P. A blelEng ! I fha'n't be much richer for that neither — perhaps fhe may give me half a crownj I'll throw myfelf at her feet, and afk her for a guinea — fknee/s^~DQa,r granne, give me your pic- ture {catches hold of it* ) Miss P. Stand off, wretch, am I to be robbed, as well as infulted ? Mar. Fie, child, learn to behave yourfelf better. Little P. Behave myfelf— learn you to behave yourfelf, 1 fhouldnot have thought oi you indeed — get you gone — what do you here ? {beats her out.) [and Exit. Pick, Well, fifler, this plan of yours fucceeds I 6ope to your fatisfadion —he'll make a mighty pretty page, fifter — what an engaging air, he has fifter ; this is fome revenge for her treatment of my poor boy [afide). Miss P. I perceive this to be all a contrivance, and the boy is taught to iniult me thus — you may repent of this unparalleried treatment of unproteQ;- cd innocence. \^Exit, Pick. W bat, fhe means her lover, the player-man, I fuppofe, but ril watch her, and her confols too; and if I catch him again in my houfe, it ihall be his lafl appearance this feafon ; I can tell him that, and the next part he plays, fhall be Captain Macheath in the prifon fcene, egad, [^ExiL Enter hiTTLE Picki^e, alone. Eittk P. There they go, ha ! ha ! ha ! my fchcme has gone on rarely, rather belter than theirs, I think. = — BleiTing on the old nurfe for conlenting to it— THE SPOILED CHILD. 25 Fll teach *em to turn people out of doors — Jet me, fee, what trick fliall I play 'em now — fuppofe I fet the houfe on fire — no — no — 'tis too foon for that as yet —that will do very well bye and bye — let me confi* d^r — I wifli I could fee my fitter, 1*11 difcover myfelf to her, and then we might contrive fomething toge- ther nicely — that ftaircafe leads to her room, I'll try and call her (goes to the door and liflem) there's nobody in the way !— Hift ! hift ! — Maria — Maria — fhe hears me, (he's coming this way — rf^rms and hides himself,) Enter Maria. Maria, Sure fomebody called me (hoks around) No, there's nobody here — heigho — I've almoft cryed myfelf blind about my poor brother, for fo I fhall always call him, ay, and love him too — (goin^). Little P, {running forward) Maria ! — fifter! — flop an inflant. Maria* My brother ! — Charles — impoffible- Liitle P. 'Tis e'en fo, and faith 'twas all a trick about the nurfe and child ; I coax'd the old wom;in to confefs the whole to me — you can't contrive to kill yourfelf for the tofs of me, can you ?-~that would have a fine efFed — is there nothing I can think of ? — Suppofe you pretend to fall in love with me, and we run away together. Maria* That will do admirably — depend upon my playing my part with a good will, for I owe fome re- venge for their treatment of you, befides, you know I can refufe you nothing. D 26 THE SPOILED CHILD, Enter OldPickle, behind^ Little P. Thank you a thoufand times, my deareft Maria, thus then we'll contrive it. [seeing Pickle coming behind, they pretend to whisper.) Old p. What 1 how's this !— Dear Maria, and 111 refufe you nothing."— Death and the devil, my daughter has fallen in love with that young fcoundrel and his yeo, yeo, yeo — fhe too, (he embraces him— {comes Jor'ward)--rm\ghiy well, young madam-^'tis mighty well, but come, you (hall be locked up im- mediately, and you yoyng rafcal, be whipt out of the houfe. Little P, YoU'will not be fo hard hearted, fure— we will not part — here is my anchor fixed — here am I moor'd for ever. — {Old Pickle takes hold of her, and endeavours to take her awayy /he rejijls^ and Little Pickle detains her by the hand, ) Maria, {romantically) No— we'll never part — 'Oh, icruel, cruel fate. Old P, He's infe6led her with his affurancc already.— What, you young minx, do you own you Jove him ? Mariaf Love him ! Sir, I adore him, and in fpite of your utmoft oppofition, ever, ever (ball. Old P, Oh, ruined ! undone — what ^ wretched old man I am — but, Maria, child— Maria. Think not to diffuade me, fir— vain at- tempt — no, fir, my affedions are fixed never to be j:ecaiied. Old P. Oh dear, what (hall I do ? what will be- come of me ? Oh, a plague on niy plots— I've loft my daughter, and for ought J know, my fon too-^ why child, he's a poor beggar, he's not worth a fix? pence. THE SPOILT) CHILD, . ij ^ Maria. My foul abhors fo low a thought — I def- pife wealth — know, fir, I cherifh nobler fentimcnts. The generous youth (hall own, I love him for himfelf alone. Old P. What, poetry too— nay then, it is time to prevent further mifchief — go to your room— a good key (hall affure your fafety, and this young rafcal fhall go back to fea, and his yeo, yeo, yco, if he will. Maria, (going) I obey your harlh commands, fir, and am gone— but, alas ! I leave my heart behind. [Ex if Maria. Old P. Now, fir, for you — don't look fo auda^ cious, firrah— don't fancy you belong to me— I utterly difclaim you Little P. (laughing) But that is too late now, old gentleman, you have publickly faid I was your ion, and d— n me, I'll make you ftand to it, fir, (threaining.) Old P. The devil— here is an affair ! — John, Thomas, William; Enter Servants. Take that fellow, and turn him out of doors imme* diatcly — take him, I fay^ — Servants, Fellow 1 who, fir ? Old P, Who ! why zounds, him there ; don't you fee him ? John. What, my new young mafter — No, fir, I've turned out one already, V\\ turn out no more. Old P. He*s not your young mafter— he*s no fon of mine — away with him, I fay. 28 THE SPOILED CHILD. Suf. No, fir, we know our young mafter too well for all that ; why he*s as like your honour as one pea is like another. John. Ay, heaven blefs him, and may he fhortly fucceed your honour in your eftate and fortune. Old P, (in a pajfion, walking up and down) Rogues ! villains! I am abu fed, robbed — (turns them out) there's a confpiracy againft me, and this little pirate is at the head of the gang. Enter Servant, with a Letter, Odfo, but here's a letter from my poor boy, I fee — this is a comfort, indeed. Well, I'll fend for him home now without delay, (reads) Honoured fir, I heartily repent of having fo far abufed your good- nefs, whilft I was bleft with your protedion, but as I fear no penitence will ever reftore me to your fa- vour, I have refolved to put it out of my power again to offend you, by inftantly bidding adieu to my country for ever.'* Here, John, run, go di- redlly to Margery's and fetch home my fon, and— • Littk P. (interrupting him) You may fave yourfelf the trouble, 'tis too late, you'll never bring him too now, make as many fignals, or fire as many guns as you pleafe. Old P. What do you mean ? Little P, Mean, why he and I have changed births you know. Old P. Changed births ! Little P, Ay, I'm got into his hammock, and he's got into mine, that's all ; he's lome leagues off at lea, by this time, for the tide ferves, and the wind is fair s Botany Bay's the word, my boys. THE SPOILED CHILD. 29 Old P. Botany Bay ! well, I'll inftantly fee if *tk true, why, IMl come back, juft to blow your brains out, and lo be either hang'd or fent to Botany Bay after him. \^Exeunt^ different w.ays SCENE— -rf Garden— S^at in a Bower, much Jhaded with Trees. ' Enter Miss Pickle. This is the hour of my appointment with Mr, Tagg, and my brother's abfence is favourable in- deed^ — well, after fuch treatment, can he be furprifed if I throw myfeif into the arms of fo paffionate an admirer ; my fluttering heart tells me this is an im- portant criiis in my happinefs — how much thefe vile men have to anfwer for in thus bewitching us filly girls. Tagg repeats behind the Scenes^ The heavy hours are aim oft paft That part my love and jne. Enters^ My longing eyes may hope at laft. Their only joy to fee. Thus moft charming of her fex, do I proftrate my- feif before the fhrine of your beauty, {kneels) Mi/s P, Mr. Tagg, 1 fear I never can be yours. Tagg. Adorable, lovely, the moft beautified Ophelia, Mifs P. Indeed Mr Tagg, you make me bluflb with your compliments. THE SPOIL»0 CHILIS. Tagg, Compliments ! oh ! call not by that hacfc- , nied term the voice of truth — lovely nymph, ah ! deign to hear me, V\\ teach you what k is to love. Mifs P. Love — dear Mr. Tagg. — ^oh ! moderate your tranfports — be advifed, think n^o more of this fatal paffion. ^agg. Think no more of it ^ Can love be controlIM by advice; Will Cupid our mother's obey. Oh then confent my angel to join our hearts in one^ or give me my death in a bumper. Mhs P. {qfide} Can I refufe any thing to fuch a lover ? — but were I, my dear friend to confent to our tender union, how could we contrive to efcape, my brother^s vigilance would overtake us and you might have reafon to repent of his anger. T agg. Ob, he's a Goth, a mere Vandyke, my lovce But fear makes the danger feem double. Say Hymen what mifchiefs can trouble. I have contrived the plot and every fcene of the elopement, but in this (hady bieft retreat will I un- fold it all — lets fit down like Jeffica and the fair Lorenzo here. Would you tafte the noon tide air. To yon fragrant bower repair. [They fit in the hower. Since mufick is the food of love, we'll to the Night- ingale's complaining notes, tune our diftreffes and accord our woes. While Tagg is finging in Burlesque, Little Pickle ^eals round the Stage and gets behind the Bower ^and sews THE SPOIL'D CHILD. iheir \loaths together^ and then goes out behind mper* reived by them. Miss P, Oh\ I could liden thus for ever to the united cbarms of love and harmony — but how are we to plan our efcape. Tagg lii a. mean and low attire, muffled up ill a great cloak and difguifed with a large hat, will I await you in this happy fpot — but why my foul — why not this inftant fly — this moment will I feize my tender bit of lamb— d m me, there I had her as dead as mutton, {ajide) Miss P, No, I am not yet equipped for an elope- ment, and what is of more conlequence ftill, I have got with me a caflcet of jewels I have prepared, gather too valuable to leave behind, 74?^^. That is of fome confequence, indeed, to me. My diamond my pearl. Then be a good girl Until I come to you again. Miss Come back again in the difguife immedi- ately, and if fortune favours faithful lovers* vows, I will contrive to flip out to you. Tagg. Difpofe of me, lovely creature, as you pleafe, but don't forget the caflcet. Little Pickle runs in, Granne ! granne ! Miss P. What rude interruption is this ? Little F. Nothing at all — only father is coming, that's all. "T^gg' The devil he is — what a cataftrophe ! \botb rise^ 31 THE SPOIL'D CHILD. Miss P. One laft adieu, f embracing) Think yon we (hall ever meet again ! f they find them selvei fajlened together 9 andflruggle) Tagg. D m me ! if I think we fhall ever part. Miss p. {tenderly) Don't detain me, won't you let mt go ? Taggl Zounds I wifh you were gonei (they jlrng* gk, and at laft get free, and run off different ways,) Enter Old Pickle.- Pick. Well, all's not fo bad as I feared — he is not yet gone to fea, and Margery affures me I (hall fee him e'er long, quite another thing from what he was — but now let me look after my lifter — though fhe made me play the fool, 1*11 take care to prevent her — I muft not give up the confols to but odfo, I have not yetfeen my daughter, I'll to her firft, leaft young yeo, yeo, yeo, fliould get her Ihip't off — and when I have fecured fifteen, I'll look after fifty — but who's coming here ? I'll conceal myfelf and watch. Enter Miss Pickle, -with cajket^ Mifs P* (pqffng over to the bower) Mr. Tagg, Mr. Tagg — I jiopc he is returned — how I tremble — kind Cupid, guide your votary's feeble fteps — Oh, my dear Mr. Tagg, take the calket, and let us make ^ liafte, that we may efcape before my brother comes. \caiches hold o/* Little Pickle, loho is behind the hower^ disguised as Tagg. Little Pickle kiffmg her hand . T hey run towards Old Pickle, who comes forward and flops ihem.J THE SPOTUD CHIL0. 33 Pick. Your moft obedient humble fervant, ma- mam — well faid fifty^ egad — fir, your moft obfe- quious, Mr* Alexander, Mr. Romeo — John — Wil- liam — Thomas, (calling the servants) you (han't want attendants mighty prince, but mayhap you had rather fleep in a caftle, great hero, we have a con- venient goal clofe by— where you'll be very fafe, moft illuftrious chief. Miss P. Heavens ! a Jail ! poor dear Mr. Tagg, a vidim to his love for me — oh, let us implore his forgivenefs — intreat him to releafe you. {to Tagg,) Lijle P, {kneels and throws off his disguise as Tagg, and appears in his own hair, though Jiill in the sailor s dress) Thus let me implore for pardon, and believes that a repentance fo fincere as mine, will never fuf- fer my heart again to Wander from it's duty towards him. Pick. What's this ? my fon {embracing Little Pickle) Odds my heart, I'm glad to fee him once more — Oh you dear little fellow ! — but you wicked fcoundrel, how did you dare play me fuch tricks ? Little P. Tricks ! Oh, fir, recoiled you have kindly pardon'd them already ; and now you muft intercede for me with with my aunt, that I may have her forgivenefs too, for preventing her from eloping as fhe defigned with her tender fwain Mr. Tagg. Pick. Mr. Tagg, odf^), then the confols were fink- ing apace, but you have raifed them once more. Little P. And do you then, indeed, fir; fmceiely forgive me, and forget all my follies ? Pick* Forget 'em, ah ! had you vex'd me as much again, I ftiould be more than repaid by the happi- nefs of this moment. Little P. Kind, fir, my joy is then complete, and I will nevermore offend. [comes forwards E THE SPOID'D CHILD, FINALE and Chorus. — Little Pickle. Dear fir, once more receive me, And take me to your arms, Nor drive me forth to wander Expos*d to rude alarms, ^duty, love, obedience. This penitence refufe. Then ne*er adopt anothei child. For alone -J^'^^yonrs. Chorus — My duty, love, &c# II. V^"^^ completed, WouM but each gen'rous heart. With partial favour fmiling. Applaud the artlefs jeft. The objedl of thefe childiQi pranks, Was barely to amufe 'em. Then cenfure not a fchool-boy's faults. But laugh atj and excufe 'em. Chorus— The ohjedl of my dutyi lo^ve^ FINIS. JUST PUBLISHED RARE BOOK COLLECTION THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA LIBRARY PR3318 .Bii S7 1805