THE CLANCEY o> « o» ;;; o» s o> « o> » o» SI THE UBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROUNA AT CHAPEL Hlli ENDOWED BY THE DIALECTIC AND PHILANTHROPIC SOCIETIES PS3513 .U6 C52 1904 lp....».. THE C LAN C^90022_21 5522 ^ Conielf2 in Clwo ^cts fS 3Stj BY FHACHER ROWLAND GUILD AUTHOR OF " MY COUSIN TIMMY," ETC. BOSTON WALTER H. BAKER & CO. THE CLANCEY KIDS. CHARACTERS. :ti (As originally produced by The Upsilon Sigma Society, of the Hope St. High School, in The Talma Theatre, Providence, R. L, May 21, igo4) Mrs. Van Sorrel Hope A. Bates Daisy, her daughter Nathalie Whittier Dora Smythe Rexie Flounce Pearl Dickory Schoolmates Margaret Guild Hope Spink Josephine Sackett Avis Danforth Louise Godding Fluff, a colored maid Leila Tucker Mademoiselle, a governess Margaret Westcott Mrs. Clancey Eleanor Upton Hopeful Dolores Dandelion Martha Mary Guests , i Margaret Lyon Agnes Jonas ine \^(,ancey i\ias \ Eunice Fuller j Bertha Evans \ Martha Spink (Miss Parkhurst Miss Reynolds Miss Scott The Misses Manatt Costumes, modern and appropriate. Scene. — The Van Sorrel's garden with Clancey's back yard adjoining. SYNOPSIS. ACT I. — A spring morning. ACT IL — The same evening. Copyright, 1904, by Walter H. Baker & Co. jm^ The Clancey Kids. ACT I. SCENE. — A low fence or wall runs across stage center, from left to right. Front stage, a garden, entrance either side, rustic hench hy fence l. c. ; stump beside it, convenient in height for climbing fence. Back stage, entrance either side (into the Clancey hoiise^ r., if convenient) ; washing hung out on the line. (Noise of stamping, drumming, shouting, etc., as the curtain rises, disclosing IioFY.Fvij,T>ojjOB.BS, Dandelion, Martha, and Mary, back stage, having a parade. Hopeful stands higher than the others^ l.) ' Hopeful. Halt ! (The paraders line up) quietly, except for giggles.) Teii-tion ! Lieutenant Hobson, go wash your face. (^Exit Martha, r., saluting.) Commodore Peny, re- port to the commissary general. (JSxit Mary, r., sa- luting.) Eest of you, get ready for mess. (Dandelion and Dolores start to go.) Oh, Dolores, there's another hole! And you've got to wear that dress all summer. Dolores. Couldn't help it, honest! We was buildin' a fortress to take boarders. (^Flourishing a tin sword.) Hope. To repel boarders, you loony. You're tired. Dandelion. Dandelion. No, only thinking about school, that's all. Hope. Oh ! (Sighing.) Well, so was I. It does seem pretty hard to have to leave, when it was all so lovely. (Dandelion turns her head away sadly.) Oh, but you mustn't get to moping about it. Probably we can go back in the fall. DoL. The piece o' candy my teacher took away won't be any good then. (^She drops back, and plays about the yard.) 4 THE CLANCEY KIDS. Hope. You can't blame mother for not wanting us to go when we look like tramps. And if we work hard this spring, we'll blossom out when the time comes, as proud as peacocks, in some brand new finery. Dan. We were just getting to the best part of that beautiful fairy play. Hope. Midsummer Night's Dream ! And oh, dear, we were going to act it out at the exhibition, and now we haven't even got a copy of our own. DoL. {coming to fence), I'll bet yer my teacher'll eat that piece o' candy herself when she knows I can't come back and get it. Enter Mrs. Glance y, k. u. e., with clothes basket. Hope. You've just got to study right here at home. We have the old Latin book and a History, and an Arith- metic for you, Dolores (Dolores makes a face), and I'll get Jimmie Muggs to tell us the lessons each day. Then maybe we can go on with the class next fall. DoL. Will Jimmie Muggs get me my piece o' candy ? • Mrs. Clancey. There ! See my fine ladies talking things over quietly at this time in the morning. I have some very aristocratic work for you in the kitchen. Will you do me the honor to walk in ? Hope, (loftily). The queen's will is law ! Come on, lazies. (^She runs out R. with Dolores and Dandelion, stopping to hug Mrs. Clancey as she passes.) Mrs. C. The finest children in seven blocks ! It's a shame I can't afford to let them have their fun. (Exit r.) Enter l., front stage, Daisy, with a hook, Nathalie, Dora, Rexie and Pearl all talking in a rather quarrelsome way, Daisy. But what's the fun in a theatre party if you can't have a box ? Eexie. Well, who cares for tooting around in a gassy- mobile ! Nathalie. That's better than a stupid dance. Dora. But there's nothing so positively boresome as a horrid whist. THE CLANCEY KIDS. 5 Pearl. Except a swell reception I (^Girls group B.. Enterjj.^ FjjVFF, sloiv 1 1/.') Dai. Ob, dear, we've got to do something. Here you are at my house for a holiday house party, and nobody wants to do anything. Mother's too busy with her chari- ties and her dress-maker to make plans for us, and we can't agree on anything. (Fluff edges up to group and tries to get their attention.) Fluff. Miss Daisy — Miss [N'at'lie — Miss Dora — Miss Pearl — Miss Rexie — {The girls pay no attention.) Jes' a reg'lar tongue party ! {Loudbj.) Ahem ! All. Oh ! {Group breaks up).) Dai. What do you want now^ Fluff ? Fl. (hacking away). Nothin'. Did yer — did yer jes' want suffin to pass away the time ? Dai. Oh, yes, but what of it ? Fl. iSTothin'. Jes' thought you might have an ironin' party, Fll git yer each a hot flat, an' there's a whole week's ^vashin'. Dai. ISTonsense, you lazy, saucy tadpole! {The girls, cxcej^tDonA, rush at Fluff, taho runs out l. shrieking.) . Dora (r.). The idea of our doing laundry work! It positively makes me ill to step inside of a kitchen. Rex. But you seem to take the same risk in the dining room three times a day ! Enter Hopeful, r. u. e., and climbs up so as to look over the fence. As the girls themselves near the fence, she peeps over, and beclzons to Dolores and Dandelion, luho enter R. u. E., a7id clhnb up beside her. Dai. What shall we do ? The boxes are all taken for John Drew, you won't go automobiling, and you turn up your noses at dances and teas and everything else. Dora {stretching out wmong the cushions on the bench). Oh, it's too horridly boresome to get up any amusement. For niy part, you couldn't stir me with a stick of dynamite. {As the girls settle themselves lazily^ Dolores picks a spider froM' the fence and throws it over among them.) 6 THE CLANCEY KIBS. Dai. (etc.). Spiders! {They shriek aPvd jum,p ; DciiA goes spraivling.) DoL. (to Hopeful and Dandelion). Spiders is better'n dyiiamity. Dora (fussily arranging her gown). What a horrid place a garden is, anyway ! (Business of looking for more spider s^ etc., with E.EXIE and Pearl.) Dai. Oh, Nathalie, when are your friends coming? Nat. I expected a letter from Janet this morning, but it hasn't arrived. I know she'll be tickled to pieces to have you invite her down with us, specially as you've never met her. And Tot and Veva always go where she does, so I'm sure they'll all accept. Dan. (to Hopeful and Dolores). Wish they'd invite us. Dora. What's your book, Daisy ? Dicky Davis's latest, I suppose. Dai. No, it's that tiresome Shakspere. I carry him because he looks so sort of cultured, you know. Dora. Not that dreadful Midsummer Night ? (Hopeful and Dandelion shows signs of excitement.) Eex. Didn't you get enough of that when w^e had to spout the whole thing in school ? (Rising to her knees, down R.J and reciting in a high sing-song.) '' The starry welkin cover thou anon With drooping fog as black as — as black as — er — " Hope, (eagerly, in a half whisper). Acheron. K/EX. (turning to Pearl, ivho is reclining at her left, and a little up stage). Yes, that's it — Acheron. Pearl. You were Oberon, weren't you ? (Rising and stepping front.) And I v/as Titania. " Peaseblossom ! Cobweb ! Moth ! and — " (with a half glance left toward Daisy) who was my other little elf, don't you remember ? (Daisy takes no notice.) Dan. (excited). Mustardseed ! Pearl (turning to Daisy). Oh, of course. How you used to howl on Bottom's speeches ! Dai. (facing r., raising her head and shouting), " The raging rocks And shivering shocks gball break the locks— -er — -'^ THE CLANCEY KIDS. 7 Hope, (as hefore). Of prison gates. Dai. {turning to Nathalie, who has been talking busily with Dora on bench). Why, you know it better than I do. Nat. /didn't prompt you. Dai. Well, I didn't suppose you knew it, Dora. Dora. Of course I don't. Dai. (rising in surprise). Then who said '' prison gates ? " (They spy the Clancey's.) A-ha! I thought so. It's those inquisitive, meddlesome Clancey kids. (Girls rise and look over fence.) The impertinent little barbarians ! There ! (She throws the book over the fence at them, and they fall off their seat with a crash.) Dora. How very vulgar of them to look over at us ! Dai. Oh, they're only the Clancey kids, our poor igno- rant neighbors. They don't know any better. Come on ; if there isn't anything better t(3 do, let's run down to the orchard. (Goes r.) Eex. Last one down is ^' it " for tag ! (Runs off r. with Daisy.) Dora. Eexie is so unconventional ! (Exit r. with great dignity.) Nat. (laughing, starts to folloiv, then turns). Oh, let's see what became of those funny Clancey kids. (Nathalie and Pearl move toward fence. Enter Fluff with letter?) Fl. Miss Nath'lie. Nat. You want me. Fluff ? Fl. Special deliverance letter. {Handing letter^ Pearl. Maybe it's from Janet. Fl. (inquisitively). Jes' likely 's not. Nat. (opening letter). I do hope they can come. I know Daisy would like them a lot. Fl. (trying to get a glimpse of the letter). Sure she would. Pearl. You look disappointed. Can't they come ? Fl. Can't dey come ? Nat. Fluff, do you know what a nuisance is ? Fl. YasSj indeed ; it's washin' handkerchers that's all frills. Nat. Well, a new hair-ribbon wouldn't be a nuisance, 8 l^HE CLANCEY KIDg. would it? Here, run in and see how you look in tliis. (Takes off her hair-rihhon and gives it to Fluff.) Fl. (beami7ig). Yo're welcome, Miss Nat'lie, yo're entirely welcome ! (Exit quickly waving ribbon.) IS'at. (handing letter to Pearl). IS'o, they can't come — that is, Tot and Veva can't, and Janet probably won't get here till to-morrow. (They sit on the bench, looking over the letter together. The heads of the Clancey's slowly appear over fence. Dolores is covered with soot and suddenly sneezes. Nathalie and Pearl start up, and Clancey's diLck.) Nat. (kneeling on bench^ looking over fence). Why, hello, aren't you Miss Clancey ? Hope, (appearing). No, ma'am, I'm — why, I suppose I am, only nobody calls me miss, of course. Pearl. Which is the one that knew the Shakspere so well ? Dan. (appearing). That was Hopeful. Hope. And you, too. Dandelion. Nat. But wasn't there another one ? DoL. (appearing). Yes'm. (Sneezes.) Nat. Why, what's the matter ? DoL. Miss Van Sorrel threw a book at us, and I fell in the ash-barrel. (Business of washing her face with hand- kerchief etc.) Hope, (wistfully). But what makes you talk to us ? Miss Van Sorrel never takes any notice of us. Pearl. Oh, I'm sure she doesn't mean to be disagree- able. Hope. I feel very sorry for her. Nat. Sorry ? Hope. Yes. She ought to be as happy and gay as one of these flowers, and yet she never seems to have a very good time. DoL. She's too stuck up. Dan. Oh, Dolores ! Hope. No, she isn't really snobbish at all, I think, but: she just doesn't know how to enjoy all the splendid things she can have. Nat. Why, what would you do if you were in her place ? THE CLANCEY KIDS. 9. Hope, (climbing on harreV). Oh, everything. Just think of having your lovely friends here for a house party, and not knowing how to make everybody liave a jolly time. Why, if 1 had such lovely clothes, and friends, and money, and — (She breaks off suddenly.) Nat. Well? Hope. It's wrong for me to talk like this. I ought to be at work. Nat. But tell us what you would do. Dan. She would make them have a good time, if any- body could. DoL. If she had any money for peanuts, she'd make them some peanut candy. We had some last Christmas, when Ma gave us the peanuts. Pearl. Tell us what you would do. Hope. Oh, I'd have them all working on something that they could look forward to — as we were looking for- ward to the exhibition at school. Dan. But that's all over now. Nat and Pearl. All over ? DoL. Yes'm. Our clothes is all wore out. Hope. Hush, Dolores ! Yes, if I could only get them all enthusiastic for some kind of a party that they had to work for, they'd be as happy as we are. Look at this beautiful garden, that lov^ely great house, and think of the plays and garden parties and masquerades you could have. Dan. And the wagon-loads of good things ! DoL. And candy ! Hope. And the fun of receiving company ! (Imitating a lady receiving.) Good evening, Mrs. Vanderbilt, you are perfectly radiant to-night, dear. Ah, Mr. Astor, you are so good to honor us. Why, Miss Gould, how brave of you to venture out this nasty evening. So glad you came, Mr. Depew. Well, well, Mrs. Van Alen, so you are fresh from the triumphs of the London season. James, will you tell the orchestra to play something more lively ? Good eve- ning, how ve7y delightful, perfectly charming, aivfully good of you ! — (In her excitement, she falls off the barrel.) Nat. and Pearl (claj^ping). Great ! Where- did you learn it all ? Dan. In books, and from watching people. Hopeful can do anything. 10 THE CLANCEY KIDS. Hope, {picking herself wp, and holding up the hook Daisy had thrown). Look, look ! Dan. and Dol. What is it ? Hope. Oh, what do you suppose ? Dan. Is it a chemistry book ? Hope. Better than that. It's Midsummer Night's Dream ! Dan. and Dol. Oh-h-h ! Hope, (saddening). But we can't keep it. It isn't ours. Nat. Oh, yes, it is. Daisy threw it away, and that makes it yours. Besides, I know she has another copy. Dan. Just think ! Two copies of such a book. Mrs. C. (without). Hopeful, are the potatoes ready ? Hope. Oh, we have been wasting time. (Turning to Nathalie and Pearl.) But not really wasted, because you have been so good to us. (She leans over and takes their hands.) You'll talk to us again some time, won't you ? Good-bye. Yes, mother, coming. (Exeunt Hope- ful, Dandelion, and Dolores, r. u. e.) Pearl. What clever little people ! Nat. Wonderful ! But — don't tell the others, for I've got a scheme. (Exeunt r., whispering confidentially.) Enter Mademoiselle, l., with Fljjff following. Fl. Say, Miss Madasel — Mademoiselle (turning). Will you nevair speak my name correct ? Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle. Fl. Madasel, Miss Madasel. Mad. No, it is not Miss at all. Fl. Well, Missus Madasel. Mad. Worse, and not so good ! It is Mademoiselle ; no more. Fl. Well, it don' soun' civ'lized, nohow. Mad. And you call Flufe civilized ? Flufe ? Ah, it is so funny. Fl. If yo' please'm, ma name's Fluff. . Mad. I know. You are so amusing. Fl. (chuckling). Yaas, I guess yo' right. Say, don^ you teach Miss Daisy music ? Mad. Oh, yes, the piano I teach her. Fl. Would you teach me to cullivate ma voice ? THE CLANCEY KTt)S. 11 Mad. You have the fine voice, yes ? Fl. Co'se I got a voice. How you think I do ma talkin' an' ma eatin' ? Mad. Let me hear one little song. (Fluff starts to sing.') Mad. (covering her ears). Oh, it is enough. Fl. Sure, (ley's enough of it; an' it only needs cuUi- vatin'. Enter Mrs. Clancey, r. u. e. Mrs. C. Oh, is it you, Mademoiselle ? I thought some- body was getting hurted. Mad. Oh, yes, it was myself. This Flufe, she is dis- tressing. Fl. {going to fence). Say, Mrs. Chinceyj yo' is invited by us to come to a party. Mrs. C. Sure, ye 're jokin' me. My party days are over — not but v/hat I used to be a belle in my day. Deary me, I wish my Hopeful could have half the advantages that I had when I was a blooming girl. F'^l. You must 'a' been just like me. Miss Daisy, she says I'm a bloomin' idiot. Mrs. C. (langhing). And where's the party ? Mad. We give you the reception right here, from over the fence. Fl. The pleasure of your company is invited at eight o'clock, E-S-P-D-Q. Mad. We get the evening off, and we make a little refreshments here in tlie garden. You can come ? It is select, very select, just the three of us. Mrs. G. Bless your hearts, you've got me feeling like one of the girls again. Sure I'll be with you, and I'll surprise your eyes with the party gown 1 haven't got out o' the chest these ten years. Enter Hope, r.u.e., carrying bonnet. Hope. Aha, mother, I've caught you playing the fine lady this time. Hello, Fluff. Comment vous portez vous, Mademoiselle ? Mad. Ah, Mademoiselle Clancey, vous etes la belle grande dame. 12 THE CLANOEY KlDI^. Hope. Mother, you need a walk in the fresh air. (Mrs. Clancey shows signs of jpvotest?) Sh-h ! You know you do. You liaven't had any tea in the house for tliree days, and I know you are growing thin without it. So run along and get some this minute. Here's your bonnet. {Fuslibig her out.) Mrs. C. Do you really think I need it ? It is very ex- travagant. (^Hurriedly, as if more eager titan she will ad- mit.) Well, well, deary, perhaps you're right. Don't forget the potatoes (going, and turning back), and see that Dolores doesn't put any more of those kittens in the oven. (Exit, L. u. e. Crash heard inside R.) Hope. Oh, Martha Washington has fallen into the wood-box-again 1 (Exit hastily r. u. e.) Enter l., Mrs. Van Sorrel. She is haughty, near- sighted, and carries a lorgnette. Mrs. Van Sorrel (looking through lorgnette at Fluff). Is that you, darling ? Fl. Yes'm. It's m.e. Mrs. V. Good gracious, is it you ? I took you for my daughter. Cook wants you in the kitchen. Fl. Do you think Pd better go? I s'pose she just wants to ask ma advice. (Exit l., imitating Mrs. A^an Sorrel.) Mrs. V. Mademoiselle ? Mad. At your service, madame. Mrs. V. (looking at a note hook). You wall take those three hats back to the milliner, and tell her they are altogether too plain. Mad. Yes, madame. Mrs. V. And if any of those paupers come and tell you they're starving, give them one of those orders for a ton of coal. Mad. Yes, madame. Mrs. V. And if Mrs. De Willie comes to see about my accepting the pi'esidency of the new charity club, tell lier I have decided to let tlieni use mj name, because I love to sacrifice myself in a good cause ; but tell her I can't pos- sibly attend any meetings till I am through with the dressmaker. i:he clancey kids. 13 Mad. Yes, madame. And Miss Daisy's old gowns ? Mrs. V. Oh, yes, put them with the rest of the trash in the Salvation Army bag. Mad. But the little Clancey girls, they have to leave the school because they have no suitable costume. Mrs. V. Oh, you mustn't bother me about such things. I always make it a point to let my generosity go through the recognized channels of benevolence, and I cannot be expected to attend to such trivial details. {Going.) Mad. Yes, madame. And the young ladies ? Mrs. V. What young ladies ? Oh, Daisy's friends. I had forgotten that they were here. Well, you tell them that I am very much interested in seeing that they have a delightful visit. Mad. Yes, madame. {Aside ; crossing l.) Ah, she has so much charity, she has not time for the kindness. (Exit L.) Mrs. V. (going toward fence) . Can it be ? It is ! Those uncultured, inconsiderate people in the next yard are flaunting their week's washing right in the eyes of my daughter's guests. Enter Dolores r. u. e., ivith a howl, which she is endeavor- ing to lick out, luhile Martha and Mary clamor for it, Dol. You can't have it ! Ma said it was my turn to lick out the dish. Oh, look ! (They spy Mrs. Van- Sorrel ; tableau a 7Yiow.ent, then they rush out R. u. e.) Mrs. V. Oh, what offensive people to have living near one. I shall plant a row of trees along the fence ; I can't have my daughter's manners spoiled by the sight of such vulgar children. (Going.) Enter Pearl and Nathalie, r. Nat. Oh, Mrs. Van Sorrel, can we see you a moment ? Mrs. V. It is Miss Whittier and Miss Dickory, is it not? Nat. Yes. We want to ask you if you know anything about your next door neighbors. Mrs. V. My neighbors ? Pearl. Yes, the Clancey's, you know. (Pointing.) Mrs. V. Good gracious, child, of course not. I am 14 THE CLANCEY KIDS. especially careful that Daisy lias nothing whatever to do v/ith them. Nat. and Peakl (ivith a pointed look at each other). Oh ! Mrs. V. I hope they have not offended you in any way ? Nat. Oh, no ; they seem very nice people. Mrs. Y. Horrors ! my dear, they are common, most common. I am so sorry the fence does not hide them com- pletely, but of course we can keep away from this part of the yard. {Looks at her ivatch.) Dear, dear, I shall be late for that luncheon. Do have a good time, my dears. I am so anxious to see that Daisy's friends make them- selves perfectly at home. Good-bye. {Exit hastily, l.) Nat. {laughing). It's easy to see where Daisy gets her pride. Pearl. Mrs. Van Sorrel is such an exclusive person, that I'm almost afraid to try your scheme. Nat. I'm not. I'm all the more determined to put it through. We must hurr}^ too. {With a hasty look about ; eagerly^ I'll run get the things. You keep the girls away, if they come up from the orchard. {Runs off l.) Pearl {in excitement, looking offB,.). Oh, they're coming now. {Runs l.) Nathalie ! Oh, dear, I wonder if I look excited. Enter Dora, Eexte, Daisy, r. Dai. This is the stupidest vacation I ever saw. Dora. Well, there never is anything doing in the spring. Rex. Everybody is sick of the winter stunts, and the summer ones haven't commenced. Dai. Oh, Pearl, can't you think of a single thing to do to kill time ? Pearl {looking nervously off l.). Why don't you run down in the orchard for a change ? Dai. Why, we've just been down there, stupid. Dora. There's nothing there but horrid trees and flow- ers, and a swampy old spring. Pearl {seizing Rexie). Oh, let's go get a drink out of the spring. Rex. {drawing hack). You'd die ! Pearl (seizing Dora). Well, let's go throw stones at the frof^s. THE CLANCEY KIDS. 15 Dora {drawing hack). Oh, frogs ! Pearl (seizing Daisy). We might climb the trees. Dai. (drawing back). And ruin our skirts ? iSTot much 1 Pearl. Well, 1^11 think up something. Come on ! Come on I (She pushes the girls out r. hastily, with anxious looks over her shoulder,) Enter !N"athalie, l., with suit-case. She looks after girls, r. Nat. (calling at fence). Hopeful ! Hopeful ! Enter Hopeful, r. u. e. Hope. Why, do you want me ? Nat. Yes. I have something simply great to propose. You'll help me, won't you ? Hope. But there couldn't be anything I could do for you. Nat. But there is, and Pearl and I want you and Dandelion — (With an anxious look around.) Pm afraid they'll come and catch me. Hope. (hurt). Oh, you're afraid they'll see you talking to me. Nat. Oh, how could you think that ? You'll believe me when I explain. Can't I come over? (With a hasty look about, she steps on the bench, hands the suit-case to Hopeful, and steps over the fence.) Nat. There ! Now I'll tell you all about it. You know, I was expecting two or three friends, and they can't come. (Exeunt r. u. e., talking.) Re-enter Pearl r., nervously looking about, followed im- patiently by E/ExiE, Dora and Daisy. Dai. Why, you look as if you v^ere afraid there were mice in the grass. Pearl. Worse than that ; it's snakes ! Oh, look ! (Points to the flower bed) Eun for the orchard — climb the trees — snakes ! (All except Pearl exit shrieking, r.) Pearl They'll miss me in a minute, but that'll give me time. Nathalie ! Enter Nathalie, r. u. e. 16 THE CLANCEY KIDS. ISTat. Oh, that Hopeful is a wonder, and so is Dandy» You won't know them. (^Slowly and emphatically ^ but with excitement.) I'll leave a note for Mrs. Clancey, then bring the girls round the other way (pointing i..), and as soon as we've introduced them, we'll hustle them to our rooms and give them some points. Keep your face straight. (^Exit n. u. E.) Pearl (calling). Girls, girls, it^s all right. It wasn't a snake after all. (To herself.) But goodness knows there's enough doing without snakes ! (Aloud.) Come on, Daisy, it's all right, I tell you. Why, what on earth have you been doing ? Enter Daisy, Rexie and Dora, much dishevelled, r. Dai. Oh, what a fright you gave me ! Dora. Look at my petticoat — a perfect wreck ! Eex. The trees were covered with sticky gum. D — A — E — N! Pearl (laughing). You poor things. You look for all the world like the Clancey kids. Dai. Clancey kids, indeed ! I hardly know them when I see them, but I should hope that you wouldn't compare any of us with such hoodlums. Enter Pluff, l., running, Pl. 'Sense me. Miss Everybody, but I got 'portant news from de front gate. Dal News ? Well, I wish something really would happen. Pl. Sumpin has happened, Miss Daisy. You know Miss Nat'lie ? Dai. Why, where is Nathalie ? Pl. She's receivin' some very swell comp'ny at de front gate. All. Her friends ! Pearl. How many of them, Pluff ? ^1.. Jes' two. Dai. Must be Janet and Veva. Nathalie told me that Tot couldn't come. Plave any of you met them ? Pearl. Yes, I have, Here they come. It is Janet and Veva. THE CLANCEY KIDS. 17 Fl. {bowing l.). This way, young ladies, this way. Dai. And look at our clothes! (^Goes r. with Dora and Rexie and hastily arranges goivn^ etc.) Enter l., Hopeful, Dandelion and Nathalie. Hopeful and Dandelion are veiled, and wear striking wraps and hats. Pearl (running forward, shaking hands eagerly, and trying to cover laughter^. Hello, Janet. Glad to see you, Veva. Nat. You hardly need introductions. (Daisy and others come forward,) This is our hostess. Daisy, let me present my dear friends Janet Mayo and Veva Bright. (^The girls surround them and greet them warmly, Dolo- res, Martha and Mary enter r. u. e., and Dolores climbs up by fence.) DoL. (in wonder). Sh — h! It's our Hopeful and Dandy. Mar. and Mary. Whee ! what swells ! Dai. Oh, Janet, dear, you and Veva are our last resorts. There isn't a single thing going on, and we're just dying for want of something to do. Dora. It isn't Daisy's fault, you know, but really we are bored to death. Do suggest something for to-night that isn't perfectly passe already. Hope, (excited and impetuous). Can't we have this pretty garden this evening? Dai. Certainly. Hope. Well, who's the most artistic one in the party ? Dai. Bexie, of course. Hope. And who's the musician ? Nat. Dora is. Hope. And who's the actress ? All. Daisy ! Dai. Oh, you are all actresses. What is it all about ? Hope. You'll see. If you really want some fun for to- night, I'll appoint each of you a committee of one, and you've got to work like Trojans. All. How interesting! Tell us all about it! I'm sure you have a splendid plan ! etc. 18 THE CLANCEY KIDS. (Luncheon hell rings. Enter Mademoiselle, l.) Mad. Young ladies, the Juncheon is served. (Exit,) (Fluff runs off l.) Dan. (ecstatically). Luncheon ! {Aside to Pearl.) Oh, Miss Dickory, I'm scared. (Pearl hugs her.) Hope, (shrinking; aside to Nathalie). Oh, Miss Whittier, suppose we disgrace you ! Nat. (reassuringly), Nonsense ! Dai. Can you eat anything so soon after travelling ? Hope, {grandiloquently). Ah, lead on to the banquet hall ! {Looking about the garden?) It's all a play, and I'm in the forest of Arden. ^^ Ay, now am I in Arden." ( With a nervous laugh, and a wink at Nathalie.) " The more fool I." Dan. Luncheon! Kex. Aren't they jolly ? Dai. Come on, girls. (Exeunt Daisy, Rexte and Dora l., starting a song. Others start to go, with laughter and business.) • DoL. Hopeful ! Dandy ! Hope., Dan., Pearl and Nat. {with fingers on lips), Sh-h-h ! {Exeunt l.) DoL. {shaking her finger spitefully). Well, you wait ! (Martha and Mary walk up and down imitating fine ladies^ while Doloreis gazes after the girls, in same position,) CUETAIN. rnE CLANCEY KIDS. 19 ACT 11. SCENE. — Thesavie. The clothes have been talzen down in the Clancey yard^ and there are strings of lanterns about, {The stage is dark. Enter Kopeful, l., hastily, and pcej^s over fence. Comes down stage^ c.) Hope. jSTow I know exactly how Alice in Wonder! in;! felt when she really got into the Queen's garden at Lisk ! And I seem to liave just as much ne'-ve as she had. I almost expect the Queen to appear at i4.ny minute and shout — Enter Dandelion, l. She is dressed in white, Dan. Off with lier head! Hope, i^tcith a little screarri). Oh! Why^j^'ou must be my White llabbit. Dan. (yawning). I feel a lot more like the Dormouse, I'm so sleepy. But isn't it all the queerest thing that ever happened ! Hope. Do you think the girls suspect ? Dan. Not a bit. Tliey'vc been as happy and as busy as bees ever since you came. And did j^ou ever have such good tilings to eat in your life ? Hope. No ; and never expect to again. And look at our clothes! But when the fairy comes and breaks the spell (^gesture toward fence), wliat will become of us? Dan. Why, you seem to be the fairy yourself. Any- way, you've certairdy enchanted tliese girls. Hope. Shi Here comes one of them. Enter l., Daisy, studying a paper, ivlth a lighted candle. Lights half up, Hope, (tragically). "• Lo, you, here she comes ! This iti her very guise ; iind, upon my life, fast asleep ! " Hello, Lady Macbeth. Dai. Hello, Ellen Terry Bernhardt. (Puts candle aside.) Oh, do you know, mi>ther told Flu If and Llademoiselle 20 I'HE CLAKCEY KIDS. that they could have the evening off, and so they can^t be here to help us. Hope. Well, of course it's anno3dng not to have a maid and a governess, but I think we'll get along without them. Where's our stage manager ? Doha (outside). Coming! Enter Doha, l., loaded down ivith rugs and cushions, etc. Hope. Good ! Now, where shall we put the audience ? Dai. There's room over in that corner. (Points r.) Dora. But the actors want that side for their entrance. Wouldn't this be better ? (She arranges cushions l.) Hope. Yes. And we must fix a bank for Titania here by the fence. Dan. This rug will do for the stage, and the rest will be line to drape the fence with. (They all set to work.) Enter E-exie, l., her arms full of costumes. Kex. We've finished all the costumes. They're great. Hope. But what shall we do for Bottom's head? Dai. That's so. Nobody thought of that. Hope. I think I could make one if you had an old hat- box and some cardboard and paints. Dan. Oh, I know where there's a hat-box. (Runs and climbs fence?) Dai. (as Dandelion holds up a hat-box). Why, how did you know it was there ? Dan. (innocently). Why, I saw it there yesterday. All. Yesterday ! Dan. (confused). I mean to-morrow — no, this morning, of course. Oh, do you think it's going to rain ? (Returns with hat-box.) Rex. Let me try to make the head ; I'm mistress of the wardrobe. Dora. I've an idea I could do it; and I'm property man. Dai. No, let me ; Rve got to wear it. (Takes it.) Hope, (aside to Dandelion). Oh, Dandy, you nearly gave us away. Dan. Wasn't it an awful break? But look at those girls! You'd never know them, they're so waked up. ICim CLANCEY KIDS. §1 Hope. If we can only keep them busy, they'll have a good time, and thaVs why we have a right to play thein such a trick. Enter Pearl and Nathalie, l., dragging in a table. Pearl. Shall we bring the feed in now ? Dai. Yes, trot it out. Then we won't have to bother about it later. (^They place table near fence, c, and bring in refreshments?) Hope. The lights are all ready, aren't they ? Dai. Oh, yes, and they'll make the old garden look quite pretty, I think. It's too bad your friend Tot Jones couldn't come. How did she come out in her exams ? Hope, (nervously). Who, Tot ? Oh, she got through everything splendidly, of course. Dai. What ! Why, Nathalie said — Oh, Nathalie, we were just talking about Tot's exams. Nat. Yes, poor thing, she flunked four out of five. Hope, (innocently). Why, how could she have fibbed so to me ? Dai. Why, I thought you were great chums. Hope, (liastily). Certainly v/e are, but — oh, aren't you nervous about the play ? Dai. Dreadfully. I must look over my part. (Runs back,) * Dax. (to Hopeful; aside), I guess we're square on ^' awful breaks." Pearl. There, the table is ready. How many of the girls do you think will come, Daisy? Dai. Haven't any idea. I sent a dozen notes, and telephoned several more. Rex. And do you think they will all be masked, in costume ? Dai. I told them they couldn't come unless they were. Dora (surveying the scene, r.). Now how do you think it's going to look ? Dajs". Just like fairy-land. Dai. It is pretty. Janet, you and Veva ought to have gold medals for stirring us up so. This is the jolliest vacation I ever had. 2'2 THE CLAKCEY KIDS. Dora. It's all so unique. Now if we only had a higli hedge to prevent the neighbors fronci interfering ! Hope, {forgetting herself). AYell, pardon me, but have you any reason to suppose — Dan. (luhirling her around, and stopping her mouth). Oh, they won't bother us, I guess. Isn't it time we got on our costumes ? Dai. It must be. And we do so need to rehearse tliat awful fairy scene. Come on. {Exit l., saying their parts ^ all hut Hopeful, Pearl and Nathalie.) Hope. Oh, Miss Whittier, I nearly disgraced you and Miss Dickory with my rudeness. I'm awfully sorr}^ Per- haps I ought not to have come. After all, I'm not Janet; I'm only — Nat. You just wait till you see how it all turns out. There isn't a girl here that doesn't love you already. You'll see. Re-enter Dora, l. Dora. Oh, Janet, dear, do come and help me with my make-up. I don't know what we should have done with- out you. {She swings Hopeful impulsively as they go out together^ l.) Pearl and Nat. {laughing and turning to each other). Didn't I tell you so ? {Exeunt l.) Fl. {outside). Hurry up you, Miss Madasel. {Enter Fluff, l., tvith two paper hags. Sees the pjreparations.) Oh, Jerusalem ! Enter l.. Mademoiselle, with pitcher and glasses. Mad. Whatever is the ma^tter about you ? Fl. Did yer eber see such gen'rous girls in yer life ? {Pointing.) Mad. It is for us ? Fl. Sure. Didn' yer jes' pass de young ladies? Yo' thiiui dey made dese prep'rations for de cats ? Mad. {wltJb a long hreatli, and a look all around). Oh, it is like the heaven. Fl. Yass, yo' better take a good look at it. Mad. There is no need of our little refreshments. Fl. Guess not! Set 'em down anywheres. {They set down hags^ etc.) THE CLANCEY KIDS. 23 Fl. (calling). Missus Clancey. Enter r. u. e., Mrs. Clancey. She is dressed in rather old-fashioned finery y with a veil, Mrs. C. Are you there ? Oh, I have had such a time getting all the children put to bed. They seemed to sus- pect something was up. Fl. Yo' ought to spank 'em good. Mrs. C. {getting over fence). And my Hopeful and Dandy gone off with Miss Van Sorrel's friends, goodness knows where. Mad. Ah, you are so fine to-night, Madame Clancey. Mrs. C. (curtseys low. Sees joreparation). Goodness me ! It's a swell reception you're giving. Fl. Co'se it's swell. Miss Madasel and me b'long to sassiety. Mad. And I am so famished. Fl. Yass, the eatin' comes first at this party. Here yo' go. (Mrs. Clancey and Mademoiselle sit at table; Fluff has business passing refreshments. Noise off r.) Mrs. C. (raising hand). Bless me, those rapscallions are wide awake yet. Sh-h ! (Clanceys giggle off n.) The little rascals are coming out. I'll just put a stop to that. (Starts to climb fence.) Mad. (seizing her). No, no; they will spoil the party. We will hide away from them. Fl. (taking som.e of the food). We'll jes' take a handful o' grub an' liike down in de orchard. {They hurry Mrs. Clancey out r., o:nd follow.) Enter Dolores, Martha a7id Mary, in sheets and pillow- cases, R. u. E. DoL. I tell you I heard one of the girls say that they was all going to be dressed up in masquerades, like us, and they'll never know who we are. (They peep over fence, all exclaim on seeing the treat, and make a wild dive over the fence, squealing in delight.) DoL. (taking a big handful of food, and covfiing front with mouth full). Here's where I gets even with Hope and 24 THE CLANCEY KIDS. Dandy! {Laughter off l.) Sh-h-h ! Somebody's coming, and they'll catch us* Hustle ! (Martha and Mary hurry over fence and run off n. u. e., Dolores lingers to take more food, hears voices close at hand^ and flies across stage^ exits R. They have taken Tnost of the food with them.) Enter Hopeful, with Mrs. Van Sorrel dressed as a maid.. They drag in a feather mattress, which they arrange near fence r. c. Mrs. V. Well, my dear, who says Mrs. Van Sorrel doesn't make a good lady's-maid ? (Poses.) Hope. You certainly make a charming picture. (Laughs slyly.) Mrs. V. (as Hopeful busies herself arraiiging mattress). And what a worker you are, my dear. I wish my daugh- ter could see you oftener, and catch some of your energy. . Hope, (aside). All she has to do is look over the fence. Mrs. V. (as Hopeful covers mattress with rug, etc.). There, doesn't that old bed make a nice couch for a fairy ? I thought it would. (Deliberately.) But don't you think it needs a nice lace pillow ? Enter Daisy, l. Dai. Oh, Janet, Peaseblossom hasn't but one wing. Hope. All right, I'll make another in a minute. (She discovers the remnants of the feast ; aside.) Oh, Dolores has been here ! (Covers table hastily with rug.) Mrs. V. (who has been talking luith Daisy, dow7i l.). Oh, no, Daisy, I don't think the Clanceys will have the pre- sumption to interfere. Hope. And are these Clanceys such terrible creatures ? Dai. Oh, for all I know, they may be just as good as we are. I don't think we are so awfully good, you know, but mother does. Mrs. V. Well, Janet, dear, you know how disagreeable it is to have to live next door to certain people. Hope, (pointedly). Oh, yes, I know all about it. Mrs. V. We must treat them with charity, of course, but we couldn't think of md^Wvig friends with them. Could we, dear? (She puts her arm affectionately round Hope- ful, and they exit l.) THE CLANCEY KIDS. ^5 Dai. (looking after them). Mother has a crush on Janet, too, just as bad as the rest of us. {Exit l.) Fl. (offn., in terror). Oh-h-h lawdy, it's a ghost ! Enter Dolokes hastily, r. Looks hack frightened, DoL. "Oh, dear, there's something following me! It's all black, like a little devil ! {Hides under table.) Enter Fluff, r. Fl. De hull place is ha'nted I (Dolores comes out and falls on her knees in front of Fluff, c. Fluff sees her and goes doivn on hands and knees.) DoL. Oh, please, if you're Mr. Sa.tan — Fl. Don't you tech me, you ghost — {They stretch out their arnis^ look up at each other ^ shriek and fly ; Fluff exits r., Dolores over fence and exit R. u. E. Enter Mrs. Clancey, r.) Mrs. C. I don't believe Fluff saw anything at all. {Sees table and. couch.) But, my goodness, something has been here, sure enough ! Enter Hopeful, l. Hope. Why, who on earth — if it isn't my mother ! Mrs. C. Hopeful ! Hope, Mother ! How could you eat up all our refresh- ments ? Mrs. C. I ! Hope. I never would have suspected you of such a trick. Mrs. C. Now, why on earth — Hope. That's just what I want to know. Pickles and peppermints ! Here comes Mrs. Van Sorrel ! Mrs. C. Oh, let me hide somewhere ! Hope. ISTo, she sees us. I'll fix it. Enter l., Mrs. Vak Sorrel. Hope, {going towards her, pulling the reluctant Mrs. Clancey). Here is one of the guests who just arrived. 26 'THE CLANCEY KtDS. But of course you can't recognize her in this disguise. You may call her — Mrs. Smith. (Mrs. Van Sorrel shakes hands cordially with Mrs. Clancey ; Hopeful runs l.) Oh, masquerades are such fun ! {Exit l., laughing.^ Enter cautiously^ r., Mademoiselle and Fluff. Mrs. V. YeSj a masquerade gives a person a chance to wear such becoming costumes. You look so well, my dear, in those old-fashioned clothes. Mrs. C. {aside). Old-fashioned clothes indeed I Mrs. V. We have arranged a play here in the garden for part of the entertainment, 3^ou know. Mrs. C. That'll be lovely. But you can't fool me with your Mrs. Van Sorrel. Not with that pretty Irish face of yours. {Chucks her under chin.) Aren't you the new second girl ? Mrs. V. {shocked for a moment, then laughing). Why, of course I am, just for to-night. Just the same as you are a nice old wash-lady ! Ha, ha, ha ! Mrs. C. {aside). Wash-lady ! {Sourly.) Ha, ha, ha ! {Exeunt Mrs. Van Sorrel and Mrs. Clancey, l., laughing.) Mad. {coming c). Did you hear? Masquerade, play, second girl ! El. I tell yo' de hull place is ha'nted. Didn't I see de ghost ? Mad. {spying the table). Ah, he has eaten up the re- freshments ! Fl. {stumbling headlong over the couch). Yass ; and he must ha' planned on sleepin' here all night. Laughter heard off l. Mad. Listen ! They are all coming ! It is the play. We can see it from that tree in the orchard. {Pointing up and offB,.) Fl. {picking up the pitcher^ etc., they had left). Well, I guess our grub'll come in handy after all. (Exeunt r., stealthily.) Enter Dolores, Martha and Mary, r. u. e., and appear at fence. THE CLANUEY XiDS. 27 DoL. {p.fter a look around), No, I dassent go to the party, now we^ve eaten up all the refreshments. We c'u see the fun from here. {Laughter off h.) Sh-h-h ! (They duck.) Enter, l., Dandelion, Daisy, Eexie, Pearl, Dora and Nathalie, excited, in costume. They speak in nervous half-whispers. Dai. Yes, we all enter from over on this side. (Points R.) Nat. But where's Hope — er, I mean Janet ? Pearl. Oh, she's not ready. Besides, she enters on that side. (^Points l.) Eex. Oh, I can't think of a single word of my speech. Dora. Do my wings hang evenly ? Dai. Girls, do you think we'll live through it ? (Busi- ness of stag e- fright, etc^ Nat. Well, I guess Ave can stand it if the audience can. How does that dance go ? (They try dance steps. Voices heard off j^.) Dai. Here they come» All ready ! (All excited exit r.) Enter Mrs. Van Sorrel, ushering in Mrs. Clancey and guests. The latter are masked and in fancy-dress. As they enter laughing and talking^ the lights are thrown on in the lanterns^ and guests pause with exclamations of admiration. If electric lights are not available^ the lanterns or other illumination may be attended to by Daisy, etc., in business immediately preceding. Soft music L. Mrs. v. Yes, this is the orchestra circle. (Points l. front.) Are there cushions enough ? (Guests arrange themselves on ground?) Mrs. C. (looking stealthily about ; aside). If I only felt sure the kids were safe in bed ! DoL. (poking her head up over fence and looking about). Ain't this a picnic ! (Sees Mrs. Ci:^ancey arranging goiun as she sits.) Aw, will yer get outer ma ? (Clanceys a2)pear.) Mrs. V. There (Clancfa^:~5 duck), are you all perfoctl3'' Ooinf ortable ? And can you all see the stage ? Well^ with 28 THE CLANCEY KIDS. your kind attention, as they say at the vaudeville, we shall present for the first number on our program this evening, a little scene arranged from Midsummer Nighi's Dream ; the company being selected from the most famous artists of England and America. (^Applause from guests,) And just between ourselves, we won't blame 3^ou if you take a quiet nap while it is going on. Let the trumpet sound the approach of the fairies ! (Sits.) (Trumijet, Enter r., Pearl as Tltania lulth Nathalie, Dora and Dandelio^t as fairies. They dance about Pearl, luho reclines on coucJl,) Mrs. y. (in stage whisper^ Poor things, they've only had one rehearsal. Pearl. " Come, now a roundel and a fairy song ; Then, for the third part of a minute, hence : Sing me now asleep.^' (Site flops down,) (The fairies pose for a dance^ unsteadily., then look off left uneasily.) Pearl (in a whisper, raising head a little^ Why don't they play ? Mrs. Y. Dear me, they asked me to prompt them. 'Nat. (in stage-ivhisj^er, rup^ning L.'). Orchestra, go ahead ! (Music. Fairies dance a few steps about Pearl, then re- cline about her. Song. Pearl falls asleep and snores, and fairies trip off R.) DoL. (appearing). Ain't it great ! (T>ucks.) Enter r., Kexie as Oberon, and approaches Pearl. Mrs. Y. (in loud whisper). This is Oberon, you know, trying to get a divorce from Titania. Rex. (in high sing-song, squeezing lemon on Pearl's eyes). ^' What thou sae'st when thou dost wake. Do it for thy true-love take ; When thou wak'st, it is thy dear ; Wake when some vile thing is near,'' (Makes hypnotic gestures ; exit R.) THE CLANCEY KIDS. 29 DoL, (behind fejice). Stop shoviri' ! Mrs. V. {fumbles imges noisily ; in stage-whisper). Enter Bottom ! 1 told them they couldn't get their costumes changed in time. (Looks r. anxiously^ rises and runs across R.) Enter Bottom ! Enter Bottom ! Dai. (offn.). Oh, in a minute. You go sit still. Mrs. V. (i^etitrning). It's all right. She's coming. (Sits.) Enter r., Daisy as Bottom, Nathalie and Dora as Snout and Quince. Giggles from behind fence. El. (offn). ¥7ell, ain't they ridicerlous ! Dai. (pompously). '' Are we all met ? " Dora (ivho speaks throughout in her usual society man- ner). " Pat, pat." Mrs. C. Sure they're Irisli ! Dora. ^'And here's a marvelous convenient place for our rehearsal." Dai. '^ There are things in this comedy that will never please. Eirst, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill him- self ; which the ladies cannot abide.'' Nat. (in a little high voice). '^ I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done." Dai. '^ Not a whit; write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no harm with our swords and that Pyramus is not killed indeed ; and that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but " — er — (Aside to Nathalie.) Who am I, anyway ? — oh, yes ! (Aloud.) '' Bottom the weaver." Nat. '^ Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion? " DoL. Oh, it's going to be a menagerie ! Dai. " A lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing. Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be seen through the lion's neck. And there indeed let him tell them plainly he is" — er — (Louder.) And tell them plainly he is — Mrs. V. (being vigorously nudged by Nathalie). Oh ! (Hastily hunting for the place.) Euter Puck, T think. Nat. (in stage whisper). No, no ; go right on, Dora. Dora. /' Then we must have a wall ; for P^^ramus and Thigbe did talk through the chink of a wall" '60 THE CLANCEY KIDS. Dai. " Some man or other must present Wall ; and let him hold his fingers thus, and through the cranny shall Py ramus and Thisbe whisper." {They ]r)ut their heads together over their parts. Enter Hopeful, l., as Fuck, with some striking costume. Chorus of Oh^s and Ah's. She dances in to soft music?) Hope. '^ What hempen home-spuns have we here, So near the cradle of the fairy queen ? " Dat. (talking to Dora through Nathalie's fingers). *^ Thisbe, the flowers of odious savours sweet," — Dora. '' Odours, odours ! '^ Dai. ^' Odours savours sweet ; So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisbe dear. But hark ! a voice, stay thou but here awhile. And by and by I will to thee appear." (Starts to go out R., but humps into Kathalie's fingers, which she still holds out rigidly. Daisy rubs forehead, then seizing fingersj moves them slowly down until she can step over them, and exit R. pompously. Exit Hopeful, following stealthily.) Dora. " Must I speak now ? " Nat. "Ay, marry, must you ; for you must understand he goes but to see a voice that he heard, and is to come again." Dora. ^' Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue," — Ite-entcr Hopeful and Daisy, ivith ass^s head made out of hat-box. Dat. ^' If I were fair, Thisbe," — Nat. and Dora. '^ monstrous ! strange ! we are haunted. Help!" (Music ; they run out R., with funny little squeals.) Hope. '-I'll follow you, I'll lead you about a round ; Sometimes ahorse I'll be, sometimes a hound." (Follows them out R. dancing^ Mrs. C. {whispering to Mrs. Van Sorrel). Who is the lady with the hat-box on her head ? Mrs. V. Why, that's Bottom. He's bewitched, you }^no\Y THE cLA^^c^Y iciDS. 81 Mrs. C. Sure, I. think that's what's the matter with me. {Feels of her earSy as if they luere grown long like Bottom'' s.) Dai. (^who has been standing l. c, perplexed). '^ Why do they run away ? This is to make an ass of me. I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid. (Sings). ' The ousel cock so black of hue, with orange-tawny bill.' " Pearl (aiuaking). *' What angel wakes me from my flowery bed ? I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again ; mine ear is much enamoured of thy note ; so is mine eye enthralled to thy shape." (Stretching arms toward Daisy.) '' I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee. Peaseblossom ! Cobweb ! Mustardseed ! " (Rises and gestures r.) Enter Nathalie, Dan del ton and Dora as fairies^ to music . DoL. Oh, ain't Dandy a sight ! Mrs. C. (aside, horrified). Dolores ! (She rises agitated, and backs over extreme l. front?) Nat., Dora and T) a^ . {after a few dance steps). ^' Hail, mortal, hail!" (Dandelion yawns^ and comes in with a " Hail''' too late) Pearl (drawing Daisy down on couch). ^' Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed." Dai. (to Dandelion). •' Scratch my head, Peaseblossom." (Dandelion, business of scratching head, etc.) Pearl. " Say, sweet love, what thou desirest to eat." Dai. '•' Truly, I could munch your good dry oats. But (yawns)! have an exposition of sleep come upon me." Pearl. ^' Sleep thou. Fairies begone!" (Exeunt Nathalie, Dandelion and Dora, r.) ^^Oh, how I dote on thee." (They sleep in a funny attitude.) Enter Eexie, r. Rex. '' I w^onder if Titania be awaked. Here comes my messenger. (Enter Hopeful, r., dancing to music.) How now, mad spirit! " Hope. '^ My mistress with a monster is in love. Titania w^aked, and straightway loved an ass." Rex. '*' Her dotage now I do begin to' pity. I will re- lease the fairy queen. (With hypnotic gestures.) Be as 32 THE CLANCEY KIDS. thou wast wont to be ; see as thou wast wont to see. Now, my Titania, wake you, my sweet queen." (Slaps her.) Pearl (awaking). "My Oberon, what visions have I seen. Methought I was enamoured of an ass.^' Eex. " There lies your love. (To Hopeful.) Take off this head.'^ Pearl (rising). Music ho ! (Music ; fairies enter.) Mrs. C. (aside). Dear, dear, I wish I was where I could spank Dolores. Hope, (taking off ass^s head). "• ISTow, when thou wakest, with thine own fooPs eyes peep.'' (She stands r. c, rest grouped extreme r. and l., except Daisy. Hopeful makes a flourish^ and throws head over fence. Horrified squeals from the Clanceys. Martha and Mary seen running off l. u. e. Confusion) Dai. (jumping up). Just as I expected ! (Leans over fence^ and grabs Dolores, who is just escaping) Come out of that, you little rascal ! (Pulls her over the fence. Mrs. Van Sorrel a7id guests rise. Mrs. Clancey is horrified. Hopeful comes r. front with Dandelion, and Nathalie and Pearl put their arms around them.) Dai. (removing the pillow-case from Dolores's face). There ! Hope, (who has hastily whispered in Nathalie's ear ; with a wink at her). Why, girls, if it isn't Tot Jones ! (Runs to her and throws her aryns around her.) How in the world did you get here ? DoL. (in tears). They pulled me over the fence. Nat. (falling in with the joke^ and running to her). Why, Tot, I thought you couldn't come. Pearl (running to her). You've played us a great trick! Dan. (same). Hello, Tot ! What a nice surprise ! Mrs. C. (in amazement). Sure, the whole of us is be- witched ! (A crash and breaking of crockery heard, r.) Fl. (offB,.). Oh, I'm cert'nly plum killed I (All rush over r. Enter l., Martha and Mary, unnoticed.) Mar. (as they hastily look around). I guess we kin coine if the other kids kin. (They mix in the crowd, r.^ THE CLANCEY KIDS. 33 Enter Fluff, k., luith reviains of a pitcher^ and a half'* eaten sandwich. Mademoiselle follows^ hanging her head. Fl. Me and Madasel was liavin' a party, an' the branch I was on done busted ! Hope. Never mind. The play was all over, anyway. So now let's all unmask and have a jolly dance. Dai. {discovering the emytij table). But, oh — that Fluff has eaten up all our refreshments. Fl. Yo' mistaken, Miss Daisy, honest. 'Twas a ghost. An' Jerusalem, dere it is now, an' deres three of 'em ! {Pointing up c, where Dolores, Martha and Mary stand.) Oh-h-h ! {She runs to l., to Mrs. Van Sorrel, and falls on her knees.) Mrs. Y. (raising her). Nonsense, what a goose you are, Fluff. Never mind about the supper, Daisy. Mademoiselle will arrange for another at once. {Exit Mademoiselle, L.) I'm sure we've all had such a jolly entertainment that nobody minds these little accidents. {Chorus of assent from guests.) And we owe it all to this sweet little fairy Puck. {Putting her arms around Hopeful.) Now for the surprises. Stand in a row, girls, and all unmask. {To Mrs. Clancey.) Let me help you with your veil, my dear. {Guests unmask, standing in group r. c, omd are drawn over R. hy Dora, etc., with laughter. Mrs. Yan Sorrel un- veils Mrs. Clancey, l., and gazes at her in surprise through lorgnette?) Dai. {to Martha and Mary, c). Come on, it's your turn. {She takes ojf their pilloiv-cases^ laughing^ then starts hack in surprise.) Hope, {down r. ; araazed). The kids ! (Mrs. Clancey runs c, stands a moment in amazement.) Mrs. C. Why, you rapscallions ! (Martha and Mary have been hanging their heads and clinging together, but on hearing Mrs. Clancey, they look up in terror^ and make a bee line out l., ivith Mrs. Clancey pursuing.) Fl. {taking c, and gazing after them). Those mus' ha' been what skeered us ! 34 THE CLANCEY KIDS. Dai. (and others). The Clancey kids ! Nat. (aside; wilting w^A Pearl, down l.). All up now ! DoL. (stepphig toiuard Mrs. Van Sorrel). Yes'ra, we'se awful sorry, but we was mad at Hopeful and Dandy. (Pointing, Exclamations.) Nat. (running l. to Mrs. Van Sorrel). Oh, Mrs. Van Sorrel, it's all a joke, and I'm responsible. Pearl (same). And I. Dan. (same). And I. Hope. But I'm the most to blame. Let me explain. Mrs. V. You, my dear ? Dai. Why, of course, it's all right, if Janet planned it. Mrs. V. Of course, my dear, I think it's interesting and funny, even if I seem to be the victim. Hope. But the trouble is, I'm not Janet. Dan. And I'm not Veva. DoL. (proudly). And I ain't nobody but Dolores Clancey. Pearl and Nat. We did it just for a lark. Dai. (puzzled). And you're the Clancey kids ? (Pause, Impetuously.) Well, you're all right. (Throius her arms around Hopeful's neck, and hugs Dandelion and Dol- ores.) Enter Mrs. Clancey, l. u. e., holding the squealing Martha and Mary by the ears. Rest have grouped L. and R. Dai. (calling). Oh, Mrs. Clancey, won't you all come back for the rest of the party ? Martha and Mary. Yes, yes ! (They break away and scramble over fence. Mrs. Clancey comes to fence l., where Fluff stands. Mademoiselle re-enters and joins them.) Mrs. V. (puzzled, but. not indignant). But, Daisy, my dear, I don't understand — Dai. (half beseeching, half-laughi7ig). But / do, and it's my party, you know. Music ho ! (Music strikes up, softly at first. General hilarity, as the girls bring the table forward and make Hopeful stand upon it, while the others form a dance about her, r. c. Fluff aiid Mademoiselle dance up l. Mrs. Van THE CLANCEY KIDS. 35 Sorrel, down l. c, watches the scene a moment in deep perplexity. Then a smile breaks over her face,) Mrs. V. {slowly and thoughtfully), I wonder if those clever Clancey kids would let me send them to my daugh- ter's school. (Music louder. Mrs. Van Sorrel begins to take a few dance steps,) CURTAIN. THE CAMP-FIRE GIRLS A Comedy in Four Acts By Walter Ben Hare Fifteen female characters and seven children who do not speak. Scenery, one interior and two exteriors; costumes modern and Indian. Plays a full evening. An admirable vehicle for spreading the principles of this help- ful order as well as an interesting and effective entertainment suitable for any occasion. Peggy Malone, the little drudge, is a part of enormous sympathy ; Zingara, the gypsy, very picturesque and dramatic ; and Mollie Mealy, the old maid, a scream. Very strongly recommended. Pricey 2^ cents CHARACTERS Peggy Malone, a little drudge, Mrs. Bacon, a boarding-house keeper. Beulah Marie, her daughter ^ aged seventeen. Miss Henrietta Dash, a newspaper reporter. Miss Mollie Mealy, an old maid, so sentimental. Miss Lee, the guardian of the camp. Zingara, a wandering gypsy, Neeta, a little gypsy song-bird. Nell Mason Margery Gilmore Betty Thurston Nan Lester Melissa Hicks Doris Gray Phyllis Marvin Camp-Fire Girls. SYNOPSIS FOR PROGRAMMES Act I. Christmas day in a boarding-house. The poor little drudge. Beulah entertains the camp. Peggy dreams. Act n. The dream. The Princess Pocahontas. Act HL Same as Act L The awakening. Her cup of misery. Act IV. A gypsy camp. The Carnegie medal. Happiness at last. OUR BOYS A Comedy in Three Acts By H, y, Byron A new edition of this evergreen comedy, reprinted from an acting copy and containing all the " gags " and stage business employed in professional performances of the piece, arranged for amateur production by Frank W. Fowle, following the traditions of the Boston Museum. Starting with a run of more than 1,500 nights in its original production, no existing play has had a larger or more universal success in the theatre than this. Very easy to produce and a sure hit in amateur theatricals. Frice, ij cents THE BIG DRUM A Comedy in Four Acts By Arthur Pinero Twelve males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three in- teriors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights strictly reserved for the present. Sir Arthur Pinero's latest play, not yet produced in this country. The text is here offered for reading only, but rights to produce by ama- teurs may be given at any time after the American production, A very powerful play upon a subject of universal interest. Price ^ JO cents CHARACTERS Philip Mackworth. Sir Randle Filson, Knt. Bertram Filson, his son. Sir Timothy Barradell, Bart. Robert Roope. COLLINGHAM GREEN. Leonard Westrip, Sir Randle' s secretary, Alfred Dunning, of Sillitoe and Dunning s Private Detective Agency* NoYES, Mr, Roope s servant. Underwood, servant at Sir Randle s. John, Mr. Mackworth' s servant, A Waiter. OtTOLINE DE CHAUMlfi, COMTESSE DE CHAUMlf , nic FiLSON. Lady Filson. Hon. Mrs. Godfrey Anslow. Mrs. Walter Quebec. Miss Tracer, Lady Filson s secretary. SYNOPSIS Act L — Robert Roope* s flat in South Audley Street. June. Act IL — Morning-room at Sir Randle Filson' s, Ennismore Gardens. The next day. Act in. — Mackworth's Chambers, Gray's Inn. November. Act IV. — The same place. The following morning. THE NEW SCHOOL-MA'AM A Sketch in One Act By G. H. Mc Arthur Two males, one female. Costumes, modern and " rube " ; scenery, an interior, not important. Plays twenty minutes. Gladys de Haven, an actress stranded in a small town, applies for the position of " school- ma'am " to get money enough to reach New York. She easily prevails over the susceptibiUties of Silas Wetherbee and Hank Pettingill, the two members of the " Committee," borrows ten dollars of each of them and skips, leaving them considerably educated by her process. Lively and fanny. Price, ij cents THE BOY SCOUTS A Play for Boys in Three Acts By Walter Ben Hare Twenty males. Scenery, unimportant ; costumes, scout and modera Plays two hours. Worth refuses to vote for Tony as a new scout because the latter is poor, but Tony shows in the end that he is a true scout and wins his election. This simple motive underlies lots of characteristic fun and stunts, and offers as a whole a very vigorous and sympathetic picture of the Boy Scout practices, motives, and ideals. Strongly recommended. Price^ 2J cents CHARACTERS Stewart Nipper, known as Nip. Fred Tuck, knowji as Tuck. Dick Randolph, the patrol leader, Worthington Leonard, a rich boy. Tony Ardis, a poor boy. Jakie Stein, with business instincts. Chubby Childs, who don t care if he is fat. Watermelon Jackson, a lazy coon. Mrs. Watermelon Jackson, and her seven little coons. {May bi omitted. ) LiPPY Scudder, who thinks he's a hero. Bub Waldron, going on seven. Jack Hall, assistant patrol leader. Plupy Higgins, who likes to study. Lee Waldron, ^ome athlete. Tom Red WAV, who plays the piano. Shorty, Harry, Charley, Will and Frank, other Boy Scouts. SYNOPSIS Act L— The meeting of the Bov Scouts of America. Nip and Tuck. Act n. — A rehearsal in the gym. The stunts of the Scouts. Act HL — Same as Act L Swearing in the new tenderfoot. aunt ABIGAIL AND THE BOYS A Farce in One Act By Lillie Fuller Merriam Nine males, two females. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays one hour. Aunt Abigail, who hates boys, visits Gerald \\\ college and finding him dressed in -female costume for theatricals takes him for his sister Geraldine. Things are badly mixed up when his friends turn Up and see the situation, but in the end Aunty is wholly cured of he' 4islike for the " boys." Lively and amusing ; regommended for school^ Price^ IS cents COLLEGE DAYS A College Comedy in Three Acts By George M. Rosener Ten males, four females. Costftmes, modern ; scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays two hours. Quirjcy Jordan, the son of a tyrannical farmer, wins a scholarship offered by a prominent newspaper and throws off the paternal yoke. At Westward College, which he has chosen be- cause the girl he loves is there, he is at first disadvantaged by his circum- stances, but he soon makes good both with head and fists and not cnly defeats the plot for his downfall that his rivals lay for him, but comes out a victor in college, wins the girl he loves, and carries all before him. A fine piece with many fine parts j strongly recommended. Lots of come iy. Professional rights reserved, Price^ 25 cents CHARACTERS QuiNCY Jordan, a fanner. QuiNCY, Jr., his son. Squire Drake, a rich farmer. Jerome, his son. Uncle Hez, a town character. Poor House Onnie, another. Paul Prye, the bully. Professor Rex, a teacher. Hal Defter, a student. Harry C. Graham, a politician. Jim Brady, a reporter. Jersey, Quincy Jordan s wife, Violet, Squire Drake' s daughter. Aunt Sally, a town character. Any number of students, SYNOPSIS Act I. — Exterior of Quincy Jordan's farm, near the summet school of Westward College. Act II. — Exterior of Westward College. The home of Professor Rex. Act III. — Quincy, Jr.*s, law office out West four years later. THE COLLEGE POLITICIAN A College Farce Comedy in Three Acts By H. IV, Weis and D. T. Howard Sixteen males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three inte« Tiers. Plays two hours. Ted Kingsley, an outsider, applies the political j methods of the outside worjd to the problem of winning the election forj football manager in his college and, after an exciting campaign in which} he shows great ability in this line and sets the college on end, he wins thej office and the sister of his rival at one blow. An exciting play, with the] true college atmospheie- Lots of good parts; not difficult; well recom^ [ mended. Frice^ i/; cents This book is due at the WALTER R. DAVIS LIBRARY on the last date stamped under "Date Due." If not on hold it nnay be renewed by bringing It to the library. DATE DUE f^^^- ^^^^ RET DUE "^'-