QlJjf luibrarij nf tlje Ininrraitg nf Nnrtli GJarnlina tEttUmwb bg Slj? i9talprttr anil Ptjtlatttijroptr S'orirtipa UNIVERSITY! NORTH CAROLINA Sehasl * i LiJHAXJE jX>i UNIVERSITY OF N C AT CHAPEL MILL 00022094378 J H ~ - ': . This Book may be kept out TWO WEEKS ONLY, and is subject to a fine of FIVE CENTS a day thereafter. It was taken out on t = the day indicated below: 1 Apri9 40 " Iun25'40 — 7Feb'46LS - 9Jul'4rM I 5Jui'47LS MAR29 , 9:C' JUL JO 'j, LUNC lOM-Ap 39 Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2012 with funding from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill http://www.archive.org/details/goopshowtobethemburg G O O P S AND HOW TO BE THEM GO'OPS AND HOW TO BE THEM A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants Inculcating many Juvenile Virtues Both by Precept and Example With Ninety Drawings By GELETT BURGESS N ew York Frederick A. Stokes Company Pu blishers Copyright, 1900, By Gelett Burgess TWENTY-SECOND PRINTING. APRIL 1, 1932 Printed in the United States of America J E Llbl, I, | v ( Introduction .... P*g' I Table Manners — I. ... 3 Table Manners — II. . . 5 Cleanliness 7 Neatness 9 Courtesy U Generosity 13 Consideration 15 Miss Manners 17 Borrowing 19 Memory 21 Books 23 Honesty Page 25 "Why?" 27 Bed-Time 29 Modesty 31 Disfiguration . . . . 33 Bravery 35 Tidiness 37 Patience 39 Fortitude 4 1 George Adolphus ... 43 Politeness 45 Gentleness 47 TABLE OF CONTENTS Hospitality Pets . . . Remember! Curiosity Willy . . Clothes . Helpfulness Quietness . Order Teasing . Page 49 5 1 53 55 57 59 6i 63 65 67 Interruption . Page 69 7 1 Caution ...... 73 Tardiness . 75 Obedience ..... 77 Church Headaches ■ 79 8t Doll-Time 83 Combing and Curling . 85 Cheerfulness . 87 Of these Rhymes, ten first appeared in "St. Nicholas," and are here reprinted by permission of the Century Company INTRODUCTION Let me introduce a Race Void of Beauty and of Grace, Extraordinary Creatures With a Paucity of Features. Though their Forms are fashioned ill, They have Manners stranger still; For in Rudeness they're Precocious, They 're Atrocious, they 're Ferocious Yet you'll learn, if you are Bright, Politeness from the Impolite. When you 've finished with the Book, At your Conduct take a Look; Ask yourself, upon the Spot, Are you Goop, or are you Not f For, although it's Fun to See them It is Terrible to Be them! The Goops they lick their fingers, And the Goops they lick their knives; They spill their broth on the table- cloth — Oh, they lead disgusting lives! The Goops they talk while eating, And loud and fast they chew; And that is why I 'm glad that I Am not a Goop — are you? TABLE MANNERS. -IL The Goops are gluttonous and rude, They gug and gumble with their food; They throw their crumbs upon the floor, And at dessert they tease for more; They will not eat their soup and bread But like to gobble sweets, instead, And this is why I oft decline, When I am asked to stay and dine ! • i Q: A" / >M IM rri i \ =p \ \ \ / / /_ri r SH 1 1 \ \ \ \ \ CLEANLINESS The Goops they are spotted on chin and on cheek, You could dig the dirt off with a trowel ! But you wash your face twenty times every week, And you don't do it all with the towel! The Goops are all dirty, and what do they do? They like to be dirty, and stay so. But \{ you were dirty, you'd wash, wouldn't you? If you needed a bath, you would say so ! NEATNESS Goops leave traces every- where — Gum stuck underneath the chair, Muddy footprints in the hall, Show that Goops have been to call ; Shoes and stockings on "the floor Show where Goops have been before ! COURT EST I wonder why it is polite In shaking hands, to give your right. 1 wonder why it is refined In passing one, to go behind. I wonder why it is well-bred, If you must sneeze, to turn your head. Perhaps the reason is because The Goops, they never have such laws I GENEROSITT When you have candy, do you go And give your sister halt? When little brother stubs his toe, Do you look on and laugh? The greediest Goop would give away The things he didn't need — To share the toys with which you play, That 's generous, indeed ! CONSIDERATION When you 're old, and get to be Thirty-four or forty-three, Don't you hope that you will see Children all respect you? Will they, without being told, Wait on you, when you are old, Or be heedless, selfish, cold? I hope they '11 not neglect you! And the largest one of all Or the nicest, big or small — Well, I think you 'd better leave her that one too! BORROWING Whose doll is that on the table? Whose book is that on the chair? The knife and the pencils and other utensils, Now how do they come to be there? Did n't you say they were borrowed? You'd better take back just a few! If you lent your playthings, I think you would say things If no one returned them to you! f H JHL AB CDE FOHI JK LMNOPQR. ST UVWXY2& I 2. 3 4- S 6789 MEMORT My teacher taught me, yesterday, A very pretty piece to say; But when I try to think of it, I can't remember it a bit! My head 's so full of toys and such, I can't remember very much! My teacher told me yesterday "Work when you work; Play when you play /" When 1 am playing with my toys I am the busiest of boys; But when I study or I work I'm 'fraid I am inclined to shirk! HONESTT The boy who plays at marbles and does n't try to cheat, Who always keeps his temper, no matter if he's beat, Is sure to be a favorite with all upon the street. The girl who counts her hundreds very fairly, when she's "it" Who doesn't peep or listen, nor turn around a bit, I'm sure she's not a Goop, in fact, she's quite the opposite! Josephus never yet was h< To say but just one singl< When father said to go to Then "Why?" was all Josephus said. When mother bade him stop his play, Then " Why?" Josephus used to say. He always made the same reply. 'T was never anything but "WHY?" (] BED -TIME «" The night is different from the day — It's darker in the night; How can you ever hope to play When it's no longer light? When bed-time comes, it's time for you To stop, for when you 're yawning, You should be dreaming what you'll do When it's to-morrow morning. MODESTT The proper time for you to show Whatever little tricks you know Is when grown people ask you to; Then you may show what you can do ! ut sometimes mother's head will ache With all the jolly noise you make, nd sometimes other people, too, an't spend the time to play with you ! DISFIGURATION Have you ever seen the scrawls On the fences and the walls, All the horrid little pictures and the horrid little names? Don't you think it is a shame? Are the Goops the ones to blame? Did you ever catch them playing at their horrid little gai It 's terrible brave To try to save A girl on a runaway horse; You could do that, of course! But think of trying To keep from crying, When you 're hungry and tired and cross — You couldn't do that* of course! TIDINESS Little scraps of paper, Little crumbs of food, Make a room untidy, Everywhere they're strewed. Do you sharpen pencils, Ever, on the floor? What becomes of orange- peels And your apple-core? Can you blameyour mother If she looks severe. When she says, "It looks to me As if the Goops were here" ? The clock will go slow If you watch it, you know; You must work right along and forget it. So study your best Till it's time for a rest, The clock will go fast, if you let it! FORTITUDE When you have been a naughty child, Or taken more than was your share, When you 've been, sulky, cross or wild, You must not say, "Oh, I don't care ! But when vou hate to see it rain, And when it's time to comb your hair, And when you have a little pain, Then you can say, "Oh, I don't care!" GEORGE ADOLPHUS Oh, think what George Adolphus did! The children point and stare. He went where mother had forbid, And said he "didnt care!" Oh, think what George Adolphi did! JS He made his mother cry! The child ren whoop "You are Goop ! a Fie! G< sorge Adolphus, fie!' j^l^ ( ifJL o Mf/ ) \ <'-u f&\ u '^ POLITENESS I think it would be lots of fun To be polite to every one; A boy would doff his little hat, A girl would curtsey, just like that And both would use such words as these : "Excuse me, Sir" and " If 'you please ;"( Not only just at home, you know, But everywhere that they should go. HOSPITALITT When a person visits you, remember he's your guest, Receive him very kindly, and be sure he has the best; Make him very comfortable and show him all your toys, And only play the games you 're very sure that he enjoys. When you pay a visit, never grumble or complain, Try to be so affable they '11 want you there again ; Don't forget the older ones, your hostess least of all, When you 're leaving tell her you have had a pleasant call ! \j r 7 *) I 1 Hrttg try* Almost everv Goop forgets When it 's time to feed his pets, 'Cause his memory fails; T lbaaaaa ao|.J|aaaaaae|" TcH U OT OP JJ "oO DD^ U "* CURIOSITT I think that it would help you much II you 'd remember not to touch. The Goops do this, and they do more, Thev peep and listen at the door! They open bottles of cologne, And feel of parcels not their own! But there are many stupid folks J Who do not care for children's jokes. t&\ V \\S svao DO NOT TOUCH THIS JVILLT Willy broke the window- pane Willy spilled the ink, Willy left the water-pipe Running in the sink! Did his mother punish him ? No! I'll tell you why. Willy, he owned up to it, And didn't tell a lie! Willy told his mother Before she found it out He said: "I am so sorry!" iWtfsaid "I have no doubt! CLOTHES When you are playing in the dirt, You should wear clothes you cannot hurt; It will not matter, when they 're worn, If thev are just a little torn. But when you 're really nicely dressed, Be careful of your Sunday Best! You must not crawl upon your knees; Be careful of your elbows, please! HELPFULNESS I never knew a Goop to help his mother, I never knew a Goop to. help his dad, And they never do a thing lor one another; They are actually, absolutely bad ! If you ask a Goop to go and post a letter, Or to run upon an errand, how they act ! But somehow I imagine you are better, And you try to go, and cry to go, in fact ! QUIETNESS Hush! tor your father is reading. Hush! for your mother is ill. Hush ! for the baby Is sleeping, and may be He'll catch a nice dream if you 're still. Kiss me, and promise you will! E§S=— Make your soldiers march away, When you 're finished with your P la 7- Lead them to the barrack-box, Make them carry all your blocks. Teach your doll to go to bed, Not to lie about instead; Tell her she must clear away Everything she's used to-day. All your playthings and your toys Must be trained like girls and boys! Tease to linger longer when your mother bids you go; Tease to have a penny when your father answers, " No ! " Tease to have a story when your uncle doesn't please; That's the way to be a Goop — tease, tease, teasel Hint about the carriage when there 's only room for three ; Hint about the toys you like and every doll you see; Hint about the candy, say you're fond of peppermint; That's the way to be a Goop — hint, hint, hint! inonis) •U i ! JL.:-; > — / A INTERRUPTION Don't interrupt your father when he's telling funny jokes; Don't interrupt your mother when she's entertaining folks; Don't interrupt the visitors when they have come to call, — In fact, it 's generally wiser not to interrupt at all. cRr-BABr I'm sure that I would rather die Than have my playmates see me cry ; It twists your face And knots your forehead. And makes you look all cross and horrid; And every one who sees you cries "What is the matter with your eyes r CAUTION When you travel in the street. Are you cautious and discreet? Do you look about for horses When your Jittle brother crosses? Do you go the shortest way, Never stopping once to play? ft ft ft ft n mm mm mm mm mm mm ULTLTLJLIUUmjULJ UU UUUrJDUUtiTJU UUUUUIJULJLJLHJ UTTCTU ULiUUUP UU LJUL1 UUUUUUUL ITU UUUIIC TARDINESS Goodness gracious sakes alive ! Mother said, "Come home at fivel" Now the clock is striking six, I am in a norful fix ! She will think I can't be trusted, And she'll say that she's disgusted! OBEDIENCE CHURCH HEADACHES When 't is time to go to church Do you ever have a chill? When 't is time to go to school, Do you fancy you are ill? Oh, be very cautious, please, I can tell by signs like these You have got the Coop Disease! WlQ. i PERSEVERANCE Tony started bright and early, clearing up his room, Soon he found he had to stop and make a little broom; So then he went into the yard to get a little stick, But the garden needed weeding, so he set about it, quick! Then he found his wagon he intended to repair, So he went into the cellar for the hammer that was there; He'd just begun to build a box, when it was time for dinner; And that 's why Tony's father called his son a "good beginner!* DOLL- TIME Spring's the time for marbles And Fall 's the time for tops, But boys don't know, they only go By seeing them in shops ! They like a sled in Winter, In Summer 'tis a kite; But dolls are found the whole year