I ILLINOIS

Production Note

Digital Rare Book Collections
Rare Book & Manuscript Library
University of Illinois Library at ,
Urbana—Champaign
2019
 
\
\

f A Ride-diculous One—horse Burlesque, in Three Hacks, splendidly
‘mounted,’ on the Old Equestrian Zllelodmma, entitled,

MAZEPPA;

OR. ”BOUND” TO WIN!

WRITTEN BY

URNAND.

._,-. HRH——

The Music selected, composed, and arranged by HERR MEYER LUTZL»

New Scenery by Mr. E. G. BANKS.

g New Dresses by Miss THOMPSON, designed by
Mr CHASEMORE.

The Piece produced'under the direction of the Author.

finndun:
H. BLAGKLOCK & 00.,
75, FARRINGDON ROAD, LONDON, EC.

1885.

 
 
DRAMATIS PERSON/E.

A/NWWM‘

POL 53 (Not Sticks).

Laurinski . . (Castellan of Lanrinshi Castle) . . Mr. E. ROYCE
Casimir . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Miss E. FARREN
(An orpha Tartar boy, who somehow or other has been in Laitrinski’s
service from his earliest years. A slave)

Count Premislas (a distinguished and extra-Polish’d Count) Mr. E. TERRY
Rudzoloff . , (Chief of the Polish Police) . . Mr. W. WARDE
Drolinsko . . (Major-Domo of Lanrinshi Castle) Miss E. BROUGHTON
Olinska. . . . . . . . . . . Miss PHYLLIS BROUGHTON
[Laiirrinsh‘i’s daughter2 betrothed to Premislas, but in love with Casiinir)
Zemilo. . .. .. . . (Faye 1) .. . . .. Miss M. WATSON
Agatho . . .. . . (Page 2) .. .. . . Miss P. WATSON
Sholderarmski . . (a young Ensign) . . . . . . Miss ROSS
The Untamed Steed. . . . Mr. BUDD, assisted by Mr. ROWELLA
(As nice it little bit 0’ skin as ever you saw. Peifect manners. Warrmited.
No vice, so he never says “ Neigh.” Meter shies, not
even at Amit Sally. Trial allowed.)

Polish Guards, Pages, Grooms, Housemaids, &c.

f
TA I? TA RS.

AbderKhan .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Mr. J. DALLAS
(The Tartar Chief. Rather ofi‘his head, but he is the chiefofa wandering tribe)

Oneiza . . _ (his daughter) . . Miss KATE LEAMAR
Thamar . . . . . . (a conspirator), . . . . Miss C. J ECKS
Zembla . . . . . . (a dis-zeiiiblar) . . . . Miss HANDLEY
Hookankrookskar . . . . (a shepherd) . . . . Miss ROBINA

Tartar Guards, Peasants, Dairymaids, Blacksmith-aw -Villains, &c.,
Polish Police (on a. visit).

MA A 1 \/\/\/\A.r\/\J rm /\/\/\/'\/\/

Act I.—LAURINSKI CASTLE.
THE DOOM PRONOUNCED! NO SADDLE!

________’—-——-———

Act Il.——A TARTAR VILLAGE.

The Untamed Steed proves to be the real Heir Restorer, and, being fifteen
hands, performs several remarkable feats.

A NEW DEPARTURE. A DOUBLE REIGN.

_____‘_,___.—————-—~

Act III—THE BRIDAL.
RECEPTION ROOM IN LAURINSKI CASTLE.
Two sides to every question.

This is Scene 1-The Inside. Scene 2—The Outside.
SEVERAL TERRIFIC COMBATS!

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:53 PRI'NTED PRIVATELY, NOT PUBLISHED.

MAZEPPA.

“wow——

ACT I.

SCENE.———CASTLE.

“tawny practicable7 R. H. Arcade underneath. Castle terrace semi~

z-ircnlar, practicable, and steps down, L. H. Arcade underneath.
Windows transparent. At back : The Rocky Horse Illountains right
up to borders at back. Platforms all the way up. Waterfall in
movement. Soldiers discovered. Small soldiers (profile) on all the
terraces and balconies, except the one B. H. Soldiers under arcade:
n. & L. Moon shining; visible just above the height: right over the
waterfall, which is in motion.

CHORUS OF SOLDIERS.
(Strauss)

Blow, blow, the trumpets blow,
But do not blow too loudly.

Marching, and not too slow,
And yet as soldiers proudly.

Hush’d be the fife and drum,
Or else 111ey will be surly7

Don’t let ’ein know we’ve come,
Disturbing them so early.

In toeing a straight line
The sentry feels a. pride.
And if the night’s not fine,
He’ll simply go inside.

“le’ll do what we are told,
And face the mud and mire.
But should it be too cold,
We’ ll gracefully retire.

0 l a soldier’s life is gay
When he’s nothing to do

But to ealn daily pay
From a weekly review.

The Bobbies have no chance
Against our great renown.
They fly before III I

Adore us !
Do all the girls in town.

[March of, R. and L.

(”W48 exeunt. Sentinels left on all the balconies. Light in windows.

On each balcony there is a small door big 6710th to admit of dis—
appearance of sentinel.

 
  

  

(CASIMIR appears on terrace L. H. watching sentinel below ; than
descends steps, crosses and loo/c: up at balcony R. H. as sentmel
passes to L. H.)

Casimir. Olinska !
Sentry (turning). \Vho goes there ? .
Caslmtr (hiding behind pillar R H.) Mee-ow ! ,
Sentry (quite satisfied, as usual). The eat.
It shows me’ow one’s taken in like that.
Its very cold, you sentinels up higher, .
You can go in and sit before the fire

[Exeunt Sentries above.

And so will I. [Emit sentry R. H. under portéco.
Caaimir. All clear? N0 soldier gentry ?

I waited for this exit of this sentry.

I didn’t feel at all that I was free,

With “Eighteen sentries looking down on me."

But soft, what light appears in yonder quarter ?

The rising son ? no—‘tis the rising daughter.

She comes I It is Olinska’s lovely form

(OLINSKA appears on balcony.)

She’s “wrapped in thought! ” I hope it keeps her warm.
Olinska. “ 0. Romeo! Romeo! \Vherefore art thou Romeo.”
Casimir. I Romeo! I’m not ! She doesn’t know me I O~

Linska ! She s not aware that I am here. (Whistles)
Olins/ca. Hark ! “A nocturne by Whistler ! ” Casimir !

’Tis he ! but say, “How came you in this garden ? "
Casimir. I came as Romeo by Terrace (pointing to the terraces),

pardon !
“I would I were a glove upon that hand,"
That ’and-’ers-on I mean.

Olinska. I understand.
Casimir. To touch that cheek,
Oltvnska. To touch it, you have shown

This cheek of mine can never touch your own.
Zemilo. (within)_Olinska! .
Ulirzsica. Someone calling! ,
Casimér. That's not right

Someone to call on you this time 0 night!
Olinska. (to ZEMILO) One moment (to CASIMIR) Hist !
Casimir. . 0 don’t say “Hist " because

There’s no such word for you, it’s all applause.
Olinska (to L.) Here !

Casimz'r. Where ?
Olim’ca (to R.) Here ! .
Creamer. Stop ! all round the place she goes.

Keep still ! you’re so much better in repose,
You are so lively on that halconee.
Olinska. Thus I play Juliet in A merry key.

Castmir. You are a Pole, don‘t be a hop-pole. Stay!

Olinslca. Casimir / you must “ Ask Papa” to—day.

Casimir. \Vhat ax that Pole ! He’ll pole-axe me I know.

glinslca. But]! will tell him that I love you so l C

easimir. ’T’won’t do. I am a foundling, nameless brat,
And worse, a Tartar!

Olinska. \Vell, what-artar that ?

Casimir.‘ Your Pa’s a Polish swell. \Von’t see the fun,

He is “ Te Magnate," and “The Pole " in one,

     
 

 

',//

.l

7

Olz'nslsa. Before the Cour“, together we’ll declare
Our love 1 You’ll promise me ?
Uasémir. Yes, hear me swear.
Ulins/ca. No, don’t l
Casimir. Our love is contraband. We’ll “square it,"
And at the call of “ duty ” we’ll declare it.
Olinska. We will ! Good—bye. But partiug’s such sweet sorrow.

Cusimir. Yes, I hate “parting,” I prexer to borrow.
“ My heart is true to Pole."

Olinska. And I am true
To you my Tartar. So Ta Ta to you!

DUETT.
AIR—“ Oh, I say."
(Published by Messrs. Francis Bros. 4 Day, London.)
Casimir. Olinska, I leave you, and bid you farewell (going).

Ollnska (calling him back). Oh, I say !

Casimir (returning). You’ve somethlng remember’d that you have to
tell.

Olinslca (puzzled and thinking). Oh, I say.

“ \Vhy I did cell thee back, I have ” really “forgot.”
Casimir. My dear, of “Called Back” we have had such a lot,
You’ve only to name it—I'm off like a shot (going).
Olinska (remonstrating). Oh, I say!
Casimir. I’d like to come and kiss you ducky.
()linska (shocked ). Oh, I say!
Casimir. You would elope if you were plucky.
Olinslsa (still more so). Oh, I say I
Casimir. VVe’d marry on no money,;if with me you’d run away.
Olinslca. But as to paying tradesmen’s bills, why—
Casimir. Owe, I say.

DUETT.
AIR—“ Come down and open the door.”
' (Published by Messrs. Francis Bros. g Day, London.)
Caaimir. Come down and open the door, love,
» Come down and open the door ;

Don’t lose such a chance,
But keep up the romance—

And then return to your first floor.

Ah !
(Ensemble)

Casimir. Come down and open the door, love I
Ohms/ca. } Coming to open the door, love.
Casimir. 0, come down and open the door!
Olins/ca. } I’ll come down to open the door.
Casimir. 0 don‘t lose the chance,

5 Of such a romance.
Olinska. I won’t lose the chance,

( Of suvh a romance.
Cusémir. So you will come and open the door.
Olinslca. { So I will come and open the door.

[OLINSKA disappears from balcony.

 
  
 
 
 
  
 
 
  
  
    
  
    
   
     
    
  
   
  
    
  
    
  
  
  
  
    

Cacimtr.

    

She is the

AIR.—-—-“ Only One."—-(Duuglas, IIopwood and Creme).

Only one, x,

One sweet young girl I love,

Only one 1

That's she that was above.

Oh, how my heart does beat,

For I hear her little feet

Upon the stairs, ’t will be a treat,
A kiss—if only one.

Olinska (appearing, and coming down). But only one 1

[During the (zoom the stage has become light. and the
sun has r1": en alore the mountains.

AIR.—“ Ring—a—ding."——(.lIohaw/cs.)

Casimir. An omen bright is In“ rning light,

Both. For the sun shines on us all.

Olinska. And if we wait it will come all right,

Bot/z. For the sun shines on us all.

Casimir. Olinska, you my bride I’ll make.

Olinska. The news to Papa I’ll gently break.

Casimir. And he’ll say “ You dog l my daughter take 2

Both. For the sun shines on us all.

Both. Ring—a-dingl Ring—a—dingl

We never shall cry while we can sing
Ring-a-ding l Ring-a—ding-dong l
This is the burden of our song,
The snow may snow, the wind may blow,
For a Juliet and a Romeo
Never will plighted word recall ;
I tell you the sun shines on us all.

[Dance and exit, CASIMIR L, and OLINSKA R.

OLINSKA returns to her room. CASIMIR exits behind stairs L. H. as Runzo-
LOFF en/ers R. 3 E. DROLINSKO down steps L. Guardsfollow R. 3 BE.

So;

we comefrom under portico R. and some from L. ‘ lVIoon has an-

tirely disappeared. Full dag/light. Ilfaids appear on balcony R. H.
and on terrace, L. H., with brooms.

(Chorus of Manservants, JlIaidservants, Grooms, Soldiers.)

Up, boys, up! for the early morn is breaking '

AIR—“ Rocky Mountain Lion.”—(ll[0hawks.)

7

The butler, footman, buttons, groom, and stablemen obey.
Up, girls, up! and the carpets get to shaking,
Chamberrnaid, scullerymaid, and cook, arise and brush away.
Up, boys, up I unclosmg every shutter.

Up, girls, up ! to fetch the bread and butter.

For visitors get ready,
And all be very steady.
At the curtains dust away!
Dust away l
9

[Exennt Grooms to stables R. 3 E. Servants begin
sweeping and brushing, gradually disappearing
afte1 the entrance of DROLINSKO and RUDZOLOFY.
At the entrance of the latter, the sentinel salutes,
guard present arms, and march of R. under
portieo, and L. by doors.

Drolimlco. Now hustle l bustle. l servants of all kinds
Uur cry is “Down with shutters up with blinds l "

(Blinds go up . window: seen.)
VVhore’s Rudzoloff?

RUDZOLOFF: CHIEF INSPECTOR.

Rudeolofl'. Drolinsko, here! On guard!
My men are waiting in Skotlandski Yard.
Tell me why eaily l am summoned here—
Have I at last to take up Casimii‘ ?
Drolinsko. The upstart foundlihg l or rather the ups—tartar,
He’s “taken up” in quite another quarter.
Princess Olinska—you’ll excuse my rage-—
I was her favourite—he is now her page.
Rudzolofi‘. A boy of whom no person ever th0ught,
Plays leap-frog with each post throughout the Court.
Drolinsko. Over us all.
Rudzolof. However that may be,
He doesn’t easily get over me ;
This Casimir I hate—once me he tann’d
Drolinsko. Just let us meet. I’ll give him——
Casimir (comingf'lom L. 2 E. down 0 between them). What ?

Dmlinsko (reading and with obseqaioas politeness). . My hand.
How are you. ‘9
Casimir \Vell. And how are you (to RUDZ.)
Rudzoloyjr (lustily). All right
Casimir. You me a heavy Pole but (to DROLINSKO) you 1e Pole- Me.
With you (to RUDZOLOFF), that s judging from your facial
warning,
It’s a cross day.
Radzolofi‘. _ Of course, it’s surly morning.

Casimir. Why are you up, and out—of temper, eh ?
Drolinsho. Count Premislas is coming here to-day.

Casimir. Count—how much ?
Rudzolofi'. One ; Count Premislas.
C’asimir. And who

Is he ? And what’s he coming here to do?
Drolinsko. To the Princess he comes to be betrothed.

Casimir. Olinska !
Rudeolofi' and Drolinsho (apart). Ha !
Casimir (aside). He is my rival loathed l

But soft, I am 0hse1ved.I won t seem nettled.
(A loud and with apparent indtflerenoa).

And, tell me, when was this arrangement settled?
Dralinsko. Special dispatches came last nin vbht to say

Count Premislas is now upon his way.
Rudzolofi'. The Prince Laurinski lost, you may have heard,

Large sums to Premislas, and gave his word

If he’d agree to take. just half the tin,

He'd pay him that and throw Olinska in.

‘_[E’nter OLINSKA, R. H., followed by ZEMILO.)

 

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10

Drolinsho. She comes. .
(DROL‘INSKO and RUDZOLOFF bow and retire up, watching.)

Olinska, can this news be true ?

You to a Count betrothed! Adoo ! Adoo !

Olinsha. Well I who's a doc? The Count ?

Crsimtr. Your are not far
Out in y-ur reckoning, Counts often are.

Olinska. \Vhy’s this? your’e sneel'ing and your Inanner’s haughty,

Who is this Count?
The “ Cr unt out," under forty.

Casimir.

Casimlr.
You love him !

Olinsh‘a (utters a cry and falls on ZEMILO’S shoulder). Ah !' .
Zemflo. You’re cruel, Mister Casnneer,

She’s often took like this, she has a spasm ’ere.
Crmimtr. Forgive me.
()lénslca (hysterically). Yes, but don’t—don‘t—don‘t!

(Throw: herself into CASIMIR'S arms.)

Ctszmir (with rapture). I’ve caught her.
[Enter LAURINSKi, shown in by DROLINSKO and RUDZOLOFF by steps, Ln.
Luurinski. Yes ! so have I. My quiet, simple daughter!
()ltnslrct (aside to CAsrMIR). Don’t stir

Lauri’nslcz'. And in your arms! presumptuous youth !
C'usz‘mir. Yes, I was only———r(hesitates.)

Olinsha (readily). Taking out a tooth.
Zemtlo. The tooth was getting loose.

Casimir (regaining hzs selflpossesston). It might have dropt.
It wanted stopping.
Laurinski (darkly). ‘ True, this must be stopped !
My lad, you are too wheeky, far too cocky,
I thought I should have reared you as a jockey,
To ride the Tartar yearling still untrained,
By which my losses wouzd have been regained,
You were so spry! so sharp ! (wildly) 0 this is tarcher

Crsimir. I was so arch, you thought I should be Archer.

Rm’zolofi’ (to LAURINSKI). He’s laughing at you.

Laurinski. What! But I’ll be firm!
Do you forget you are a slave, a worm?

Casimir. Worm !

(As éf about to rush upon LAURINSKI. OLINSKA come:
between them.)
Olinska (restrainé'ng him implortngly). Be a gentle-man! I’m by your
. s1 e.
Castmir (aside). I am beside myself. Down, down false pride !
(Aloud, after a severe struggle with hisfeelings.)
Yes ; I’m a worm, a slave, a boy, a. buttons!
So, as the French say, “Let us to our muttons.”
(Withforced ease to LAURINSKI.)
I think you were observing, sir——
Laurtnslci (with meaning). I were.
I was observing you.
Castmlr (forgetting himself). Well, I don't care.
(Restraining himself at a signal from OLINSKA and
ZEMILO.) ,
I mean (obsequiously) I'm all attention.
Laurinski. You‘ll depart
At once. (Seeing OLINSKA start.)
You start!
 

11

Budzolofi‘. Aha! He's made ’em start.

Laurinsl i. And to an embassy attached you‘ll be.

Olinska (jealously aside to CAsIMIR). Don’t be attached to anyone
but me.

Drolinsko. He’d go beyond all bounds.

(CASIMIR regards him disdainfully.)

Zemilo. A baSH suspicion.

Lam-ins/ci. I’ll send you on our “ Boundary Commission."

()lins/ea (aside to CASIMIR). Pretend that you accept.

Casimir (bowing to LAURINSKI). I can t refuse.
In what capacity 2’

Laurinski. To clean the/shoes.

(RUDZOLOFF and DROLINsKo express delight.)

 

Casimir (revolting). Never ! I have a soul above
Laurins/ei, Drolinslco, d7; Rudzolofl. Hey! What !
Olins/ca (to CASIMIR). For me ! (imploringlg.)
Casimir (recovering his calmness). I only said I hadn't got

A soul above a shoe. Need I explain ‘2

The sole is placed below. (Aside) Hem! Soled again l
Laurinski. You‘ll quit this place to-day.
i’asimir. \Vhat is my goal ?
Laurinski. A message to our cousin, the North Pole.

You’ll see (10 RUDZOLOFF) that he’s despatched at once.
Rudeoloz?r (darkly and with intention, aside to LAURINSKI). I’ll go

With him, and by “ dispatched ” you mean——

(Expression pantomimic of assassination.)

Laurinski. , Just so.
Rudzolofi”. I’m ready, come !

(Goes up beckoning CASIMIR, LAURINSKI, speaking aside
to him, DROLINSKo’s attention is attracted by ZEMILO.)

C’asimir. Olinska—nay—you tremble——
Bear up—we are observed we must dissemble.
Olinslca. You will be true.
Casimir. You cannot doubt my truth,
Olinslca. Farewell. (They embrace despairingly.)
Laurinski (turning suddenly). What’s that. ‘9
Casimir. One last look at her tooth!
Olinska. This is an awful blow. (Trumpet sounds out of tune.)

(OLINSKA runs up steps.) (All start.)

 

Rudzolof. And so was that.

Drolinslco (on terrace). Count Premislas is here. He's on the mat
Wiping his shoes.

Laurinslci. You must not let him wait.
Comes he in state ?

Drolinsko. He does! in such a state.

(DROLINSKO disappears round corner of terrace L. H.)

Laurinski. Sound all the trumpets. Vassals form in line.
To welcome Premislas, Count Palatine.

[Flourish of trumpets and drums. DROLINSKO and
Pages re—enter, preceding PREMISLAS, who enters
by terrace and descends steps, followed by one of
the servants carrying valise, hat-box, bag]

 
    
  
   
  
 
 
   
    
     
   
 
   
   
 
    
 
   
    
  
 
 
    
  
 
  
    

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CONCERTED PIECE.
AIR—“ Amerikar Marsehe.”

Premislas. Don’t bother me I

Don’t bother me E

Can not you see
Fatigued I be ?

Go away, do !

Go away, do!

Very annoy— )
ing ’tis of you!

Count Premislas l

Rudzolofi Do let him pass—
Laurmslu. ,

. Do not ha rass
Drolmslco.

The Count Premislas !

Premislas. I’m livel y and gay

As bright merry May ;

But I shall away——
Away I

If you don’t obey

\Vhatever I say

I shall away

Today 9

Rudzolofi'. 0f hat and coat they'll ease you, sir——
Laurinskl. I’m sure you want some rest.
Zemllo. }
Laurmski. Believe me, sir, to { ptease } you, sir,

. ease
Olmlcsa.

We’ll do our little best !

Drollnslco. Give me your hat.
Premlslas (anxiously). I’ve only one ;

0h! Place it on a shelf.
Caslm. (politely). And when you want a thing well done——
(rudely). You’ll do it, sir, yourself.
Premislas and all. Don’t bother, &c.

All (to him). Don’t bother ! We
Don’t bother ! We
Cannot quite see
That you’re wearee.

Laurinslci (to the others, and all the others turning to one another).

Go away, do!
Go away, do 1
Very annoy—

Ing 7tis of you!

All. Count Premislas !
Count Premislas !
Do let him pass,
The Count Premislas !
geésre} lively and gay
As bright merry May !
13

Olinska and Casimtr. But he will away,
Away l

All. He must not away,
Away !

I’ll never obey !

Olinska and Casimir. Whatever they say,
I shall away

To—day !
Laurinski. You all will obey
Whatever I say.
All. We all will obey

\Vhate’er he may say, .
He will. not away ‘
To—day !

Premislax. Look here, this sort 0’ thing's all very well,
» But I’ve been ringing at the Castle bell,

And blowing on the horn with all my power,

For I should say a quarter of an hour.
Olinska. The bell is broken, and has not been mended.
Laurinski. I hope, Count Premislas, you’re not oifended.
Preinislas. Ain’t I l The cold air out me like a knife ;

Never felt anything like it in my life.

I wouldn’t go through all this work again.
Laurinskl. But your attendants ?
Premislas. 0 ! I've lost my train.

I don’t know where they’ve gone, when I got out

I couldn’t see ’em anywhere about.

Alone upon the platform in the snow,

Uuhceded, friendless, solitary, slow ;

Never saw anything like it, don’t-cher-know.
Laurmski. I am so sorry !
Premislas. A nice way to treat me—

I think you might have sent a fly to meet me.

These things I got a strap to fasten round ’em,

And had to carry ’em up here, confound ’em.

Came up the hi1, the snow was melting, squish,

I stumbled, barked my knees.
Olinska. Ah, how I wish

Pa’d sent his valet, and next time he will.
Premislas. How could he send a valet up a hill ?
Laurinslci. Why not, when you can see a mountain pass ?
Premislas. Don’t know. (Aside) My future pa'—in-law’s a hass.
(Aloud) Talking of “ mountain passes ”—on the square—
(Produces pack of cards) Best out of three, I’ll cut you for my fare.
Laurz'nslci. Good.
Bot/2, (cutting). King! Queen 1'
Lamina-lei. King !
Premtslas. Ace l } Ace lowest. (Aside) Had

him there!

Book’d him. (Makes note.) He’ll be an income for a life.

(A load.) Talking of “ fares,” where is my future wife ?
Olins/ca. I am Olinska.
Premislas. How d’ye do ? You are,

I’m glad to say, not the least like your pa.
Laurinskz' (paternally). Take her.

 
   
  
    
 
  
   
 
 
 
  
  
  
    
   
 
   
    
   
 
  
 
  
  
    
  
   
   
  
  
  
   
    
  

14

 

Casimir (aside). , Ha I

Olinska (restraining him, aside). Hush! (A land to PREMISLAS.) Not
yet, it is too soon. .

Premislas. N0 hurry. Let us say this afternoon.

(OLINSKA goes up with LAURINSKL DROLINSKO of by door L. H.)

Casimir (wildly). Married l And to another? ”
Premislas (overbearing him, is startled). “ To another ?
I must look into this a little futher.
Married, and to another. That’s one more;
Can she have married somebody before ?
If she is always being married—(reflects)—-Oh l
I’ll cut him double or quits at once, and go I
(To CASIMIR.) Young man.
Casimir (bitterly). I am a slave, but I am free i
To answer.
Premislas (haughtily). By “another ” you meant me ?

Casimir. Yes, “you’re another ” !
Premislas (ofended). What !
Laurinski (to RUDzoLOFF). I’ll Whip the knnve
Like any cur ! (RUDZOLOFF‘ produces whip.)

C’au'mir (boiling over). Cur— (Seeing OLINSKA, he overcomes hi0 pas-
sion, and bends humbly)—rect me, I’m a slave !

(RUDZOLOFF flourishes whip, catches PREMISLAS acci-
dentally, PREMISLAs turns on him. Trumpet sounds.)

Laurinshi. Well. (Enter DROLINSKO by door L. H.)
Drolinslco. The Count’s luggage. ’Twas an uphill job,

The flyman won’t take less than seven bob

And something for himself.
Premislas. Oh, you amuse me

I’ll give him something for himself. Excuse me.

[Exit L. a.

Rudzolofi In case the man might ofier some resistance,

VVe’ll watch it from a very striking distance.

(They go up on steps at door, etc., all looking of).
(OLINSKA, coming down quickly to CASIMIR, who is standing moodcly).

Casimir, there’s a fly
Casimir. Where? Catch it.
Olinsha (painting of). There.

Now at the door, and I will be his fare
Casimir. And mine 1 \Ve’ll fly togeth' r.
Olins/ca. A disguise

Is in the armoury, about your size.

Here is the Master Key (shows him big key).
C’asimir. ‘From What I see

Its big enough to be a Mister Key (take: it).
Olinslca. Zemila.

Zemilo. Mum.
Casimir. She understands.
Olinska. . She does.
You’ve got to catch the fly,

Casimir. Or stop the buzz.
Zemilo. Depend on me.

{She you of L.H., as the others break up groups and come dam)
Laurins/ei and all cheering. Hooray !
Laurinslci. The fight is done.

[Re-enter PREMISLAS, considerably damaged, with a black eye-

  
15

Premislas. I gave him two black eyes, butl have won.
Drowns/co. You paid him out.

Premislas. , He wanted half-a-erown.
Laurinski. And then you beat him down.
Premislas. He beat me down.

I said I’ll toss you heads or tails instead.
All right. I wonwith tails. He punched my head.
I dodged (sparring), he put his one, two, three and four in,
I gave a bob, and he gax e meafloorin’.
Olinska. Paint it.
Premislas. ’T will hurt.
Budzolofi. No, it will make it smart.
Drowns/co. And look quite gay.
Casimz'r. The work will be eye art.
Premisz’as. Don’t like that boy. Dismiss him.
Laurimhi. ' Good.
Premislas. Young lady
In this costume I am a trifle shady;
But wait till in my uniform I’m dressed,
And when you see me in my Sunday best,
You’ll say of Premislas, Count Palatine,
“ Evins ! he isn’t mortial, he’s diwine,”

Olinska. Shall I !

Premislas. You will (kisses her hand).
Casimir (aside, wrestling with hisfeelings). Down, down i
Premislas (to Laurénsh‘i). My room. I’ll rush up

The stairs at once, and get a “Wash and brush up.”
Laurinshi. Drolinsko. He’s our Chamberlain polite.
Premis/as. This is the Chamberlain ! He looks quite Bright.
Drolinshi. I’ll take you to your room on the first floor,

And if you’ll leave your boots outside the door,

This boy will clean ’em.

Casimir (indignantly). I! I stoop so low,
As black,—I’ll black his other eye.
Prem., Law. and Rude. Hullo !

Premislas. It’s all the school board.

Olinsh‘a (aside imploringly to Casimi'r) Casiinir, don’t frown.
For my sake, yield.

Casi’mz'r (aside struggling wi/h hisfeelings). “Down, rebel nature, down ! "
For you I’ll drink the dregs, clear cup and Strcer.

(Aloud) “ All right, sir, shine your boots, sir, here you are, sir.”

CONCERTED PIECE.
AIR—“ Rub~a-Dub.”—(Vernon Ray.)

Drolinsko. Pray step inside and see your room; we’ve everything

prepared,
Rudzolofi'. From a hootjack to a glass of dry champagne, sir.
Zemilo. There’s a fire in the bathroom, and the to Wels are well-aired.

You'll find you have no reason to complain, sir.

 

Olinska. Or if you prefer some tea

You need only send to me
Laurinski. A muffin or a crumpet, with some jam ;
Casa'mir. Or if you’d like a slice,

Sir, of anything that’s nice,
We can recommend our sandwich, beef or ham.

 
  
 

mflmzz

A . .U smxfzhgfiaeea

  

Laurinski.

Casimir.

All.

Casimir.

Premislas.

 

16

No! rub a scrub scrub, for me
In a tub a tub tub will be.
The only Thing,
For tra-vel—ling
All day and night I’ve been.
So rub a scrub a scrub scrub for me.
In a tub a tub tub tub 1 you’ll lee—
At least I hope——
How after soap
I shall be nice and clean I

CHORUS.

Oh i rub a scrub scrub scrub, for ho
In a tub a tub tub will be,

The only thing

Since trawl-ling-
All day and night he’s been.
So rub a scrub scrub scrub, for we
As to tub a tub tub, agree,

And all will hope,

That after soap,
He will be nice and clean.

 

AIR—“ Porter Dan.”
(Published by Messrs. Francis Bros. & Day, London.)

A silver spoon, a fork, a knife, a mug, a. brush, and comb;

You’ve but to ask for anything—pray make yourself at
home.

If you will ring the bell, and tell your humble servant
what

You want ; if it’s hot water, then you bet you’ll get it hot.
A silver spoon, etc. [Exeunt omnu.

[Emeunt PREMISLAS, LAURINSKI, etc., after this CASIMIR
returns down steps with boots and brush, and stone
blue/sing bottle. Pats one boot on his arm. He throw:
one down savagely, then advances cleaning the other,
and placing the bottle on stool, R. H.

Professor Blackie, this is wondrous strange!
Must I this symphony in black arrange?

Would other artists, with contemptuous “ tush,”
Refuse to recognise a “ brother Brush ” ?
What, on arrival clean a rival s hessians
Without indulging in some strong expressions?
Ugo ! this is gall and icormwood! more hard rubs,
The gall, french polish, and the wormwood, Scrubs.

(Suits the action to the word with Mac/ting brush, when he
suddenly stops.)
I cant! I won’t! (throws boot away.)
A voice, as in a dream,

Whispers to me, “You are not what you seem.”

Was I existing in some previous age?

What as ? A tiger ?—as I’m now apage /

But that does not explain to me how I

Shall figure in the “ Far-off By-and-By ! ”

 
 

17

SONG.
(Air by Meyer Lutz.)

Long ago
I don’t know
What I was—and don’t care.
But to me
What I’ll be
Is another aflfair.
Lucky star,
If you are
Looking out of the sky,
Tell me what
Is my lot
In the “Far By—and—By.”
Tip me the office. Is
It metamorphosis ?
Shall I a mouse or a monarch become ?
Something ethereal?
Or quite material?
Or a. queer fish in an aquarium ?

By—and-by,
By-and—by,
“In the far By-and-By,”
Is to—day’s
Mystic phrase
Which they sing with a, sigh.
If a bard
Is pressed hard
To explain, he’ll reply,
“ What I mean
“ Will be seen
“ In the far By-and-By ! ”

Said 3. Grips-
Y, for tips,
“You’ve an earldom in store I "
“Be a. king,"
“ Anything I ”
“Up you go i—twopence more I "
“ Understand ? ”
“ Gipsy’s hand ”
“ You must cross.” Then said I,
“ I will pay ”
“You some day"
“In the far By-and-By."
I found no security
Searching futurity,
And upon spirits I could not rely.
Tried Demonology,
Failed with Astrology.
Sell after sell in the far By—and-by.

REFRAIN—By-and-By, &c.

 
 

“1~r,.':_w‘.._—Aengage-“‘- we» - — ~ *

 

 

18 .,

I or you,
In the fu-
Ture a parrot might be.
What a ro‘le !
“Scratch a poll !”
But that wouldn't suit me.
Or a sweet
Little creat—
Ure so lively at night ;
Which can skip,
And can nip,
Cannot bark—but can bite.
Or be a chattering
Monkey. not flattering,
Playing the cymbals and blinking its eye,
Or, which is merrier,
Be a skye terrier,
Which is in nubibus,——all up in sky !

REFRAIN—By-and-By, &0.

[Enter DROLINsKo, then Servants, then PREMISLAS. He wean
a wrapper over his costume.

CHORUS OF PAGES, CHAMBERMAlDS, AND SERVANTS.
AIR, “ Intermezzo, Forget-me—Not."—-Allan Macbeth.

Bowing low to the noble swell-e
Of such a noble we only dream.
At a glance anyone can tell
He is the creamiest of the cream.

How gorgeous he looks to-day I
We cannot turn our eyes away i
We know what they all will say—
He is a beauty and a joy for aye l

0 who to his merit great
Could be so stupidly deaf or blind
As to deny that the truth we state—
He is so graceful and so refined l

Premislat. Boots! Boots ! Take up my boots, boy, if you please,
G0 to my room, you’ll see the trunks and trees.
He hasn't cleaned ’em——-left ’em in a mess.
No matter, for they wouldn’t suit this dress.
(Throws ofi‘ wrapper, and appears in gorgeous costume.)
Olir ska must see me like this—full bloom.

“ Drolz'nsko. I'll ask if Miss Olinska’s in her room.

Preméslas. These gloves are tight. Just ask her for a stretcher.
Drolinsko. I’ll go and fetch her.

Premislas. No. You go. I’ll “fetch " her.
[Exit DROLINSKO and Pages, £60.. 3.

 
1:)

SONG.
THE FOREIGN COUNT.

I am a Polish Count, a pet
To be caressed and toadied,
I have been blown upon, but yet
I am not quite exploded.
In Continental cities I
Am not a sinecurist.
I’ve lots to do, especially
The genuine English tourist.

REFRAIN (broken English).

I am a Count, 8. Polish Count,
With limb of gutta percha,

And I can dance to any amount
Ze Polka 0r Mazourka.

In such a dress, ’tis, you’ll confess,
A marvel I am single l

Count Premislas have plenty brass,

(Does a step so as to make the bran heel: :ounal.)
First cousin to Mr. Jingle. (Duncan)

Invited out, I go ab0nt
To tea, to drum, to dinner ;
I’m King“r of Bards—I play my cards,
And mostly am a winner.
I lose von day, at vonee I pay,
It may be cards or ’osses ;
De pigeons I do, and at one coup,
I win dree time my losses.

Refrain—I’m a Count, &c.

I ‘ave a knack of playing “ bac,"
And I In de zort of barty
Who mark ze King, when about to fling
My cards down at éoarté.
Then ze spot stroke to me’s a joke,
0f. matches I’ve played plenty;
I Vill begin and never Vin
By more than von-and-twenty.

Refrain—Fm a Count, &0.

I am not seen to eat, though I do as a treat,
And. I live on the height of good feeding,

I look 20 refined, they say “ He 3 all mind I "
And den I go in for “ ”nought—reading.”

The tables and chairs I can move to sweet airl
Played by invisible goblin ;

But I once had a slate smashed over my pate,
And was kicked till I came out hobblin.’

Refrain (a: before).

 
 

 

 

 

20

I sing, play, game, I've a foreign name,
Which is sufficient reason

Why I should be in London the
Great lion of de season l

I play ze pianner in, oh, such a manner,
Ze ladies call it “ trilling l ”

My song dey repeat, as day sigh at my feet,
Because I’m “too too killing ! ”

Refrain (as before).

The tables-d héte abroad afford
Me charming relaxation.
At English miss make eye like dis,
And join ze conversation ;
I talk to Pa, I flatter Ma,
Her heart their daughter loses ;
And, of their son—who’s twenty-one,
I take his I. 0. U.-ses.

Refrain (as before).

So I can not abuse my lot
While I’m my pockets filling,
While I’ve my lucky sixpence got,
Likewise my tossing shilling.
And should hard times return when I
Can’t even raise a. pony,
To Poland I’ll go back to die,
0r live on a. polony.

[OLINSKA entering from under balcony, 3. IL, and trying to
pats unperceived, sees COUNT.

Olinska. He here! Can I escape ?
Premislm. Olinska l
Olinska. Sir!
Premiclas. How do you like me ? This is “ all for her."
The newest cut. Eh P Costly? Tut! tut l tut !
Olinska. It must be costerly if the style’s New Cut.
Premisla: Sweet one, you will be mine I and please the fates!
D'ye like my gloves ?

Olinslca. They’re loves l

Premislas. I ordered ham.
Olinslca. Oh, they’re too beautiful.

Premislac. First time I‘ve worn ’em,

Olinska—on my heart—confound—I’ve torn ‘em.
P’raps you will mend it—«find BUme one to stop it
v From going any further.
Casimir (entering in black mask and disguise). I will. Drop it.

[OLINSKA runs out by door, L. n.

Premislas. And who art thou ? (Melodramatically )
Casimir (in same tone). I am thine enemee.

Premislas. How camest thou here ?

Casimér What matters that tolthee?
Premislas. What is thy will ?

Cas'imir (tragically). Thy death I

Premislas (uncomfortably). My death by vi’lenco P

Casémir. Yes ; it is thus that I’ll insure thy silence.

 
21
(j.
Premislas. Dost think a Count, a Palatine, won’t fight ?
’Cos if you do you are distinctly right.
That is, with any one he doesn’t know,

Casimir. Then thus I challenge thee l (Strikes PREMISLAS.)
Premislas. (savagelu). Ha! ha! A blow!

Mind, I’m a Count.
Casimir. I will, to pay the score,

Advance upon a— Count a trifle more !
(Strikes him again.)

Premislas. That’s funny l
Casimir. I have come to claim your hride,
Premislas. Ha ! Rash intruder! This, then, to decide. (Fight.)
Casimir (running PREMISLAS through. Hefalls lifeless.)

Die! And my only witness now is dumb.
Olinska (appears at door L. H. with her bandboac).

' What are you waiting for?

Oasimir (relapsing into the “ Buttons ”). I’m coming! mum !

[Exit after OLINSKA, L. H.

Premislas. (gradually rises). Gone? Is it safe ? I’m very glad I had
The picturesque protecting “ Liver-pad.”
Thank goodness, I'm the liver—and de-livered.
\Vho was’t? A footpad? This must be diskivered.
Hol there! VVithinl—I faint. (Tugs at alarm bell.)
Laurinski (and all entering). The Count. Some water!
Premislas (starting up, as LAURINSKI comes down with a bucket).
N0~nothing of the sort-pursue your daughter.
She’s bolted with a man who wears a mask.
Iaurinshi. Who is he? >
Premislas. Oh, I hadn’t time to ask.
[Enter RUDZOLOFF, L. H.

Rudzolofi'. From information I received, the track
I followed—and I’ve brought the couple back.

[OLINSKA is brought in. She kneels to LAURINSKI, who turns
away from her. CASIMIR is led in, his arms under his
disguise cloak] -

Premislas. There‘s the assassin.
[RUDZOLUFF takes of CASIMIR’S mask. Guards remove his

cloak, and he appears in chains. He stands with
folded arms. '

All. Casimir !
Casimir (defiantly). For this
Great prize I played.
Premislas. You’ve lost by taking miss.
Olinsha. Forgive him !
Laurinshi. Villain !
Casimir (violently). Villain l (restraining himself.)

I can’t kill
Olinska’s parent. Do—just what you will.
Laurinshi. Bring forth the Tartar steed that none can ride,
Or if they try to, boys cry “Get inside,
And pull the blinds down.”
Rude. (to the Guards). Bear him to his doom!
Casimir. Unhand me! (Throws of the Guards.)
NOW (with dignity) for changing my costume.
lEmit, guarded, L. H.

 
   
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

22

Olinska (to LAURINSKI). Pardon him.

Laurinshi. Never l (Shouts without )
Premislas. VVhat’s all this about ?
The horse ? _
Lanrinshi. Untamed. First time he’s been let out.
Premislas. “ Let out ? ” How much do you charge per hour? '
Olinslca. Try hlm.
Premislas. No, thank you ; he’d try me. . .
Laurinslci. Or, you might buy him.

A Tartar horse he is, he’d suit most swells.
Premislas. I’ll buy a Tartar when at Tartter-sells.
I only want a polo pony, so low,
You can’t pass off a Tartar as a Pole-o.
[Shouts within. DROLINSKO rushes in.

Drolinshi. Out of the way. He comes, and at full speed.
Premislas (announcing). Gents, silence for the untamed Tartar steed.

[MUSIQ Enter Horse with four grooms. Horse
canters round. LAURINSKI is master of the ring.

Premislas. He wild l He come from Tartary ! It’s a cheat l
More likely come from Holland—~up the street.
Laurinshi. Good hacking horse. A real good bit of stuff.
Premislas. Once had a hacking cough. That’s quite enough.
Nice style of animal.
(Goes up and examines hint critically.)
Been down.
(Feels his legs. Horse kicks, then runs at him. PREMISLAS bolts.)
\Voa l Way I
Olinsha. Oh, don’t you mind him, sir, it’s all his play.
Premislas. Play I in one hacle’d like this !
(Horse hicks. PREMISLAS retires out of his way.)
[Enter RUDZOLOFF R. 3 E.

Radzolofl. Hi i Casimir
Upon the barebacked steed will now appear.

[Mnsro Enter CASIMIR in the traditional Mazeppa costume.

Casimir. In this costume all dangers I can face.
And keep up the traditions of my race.
Laurinslei. Bind him upon the horse. (They approach with ropes.)
Casimir. ('Iahing the ropes.) Here’s something t’wards
' A riding suit. No tops, but only “ cords,”
"I won’t do for Archer.
Olinsha. (Clinging to him.) Archer ! with love's dart
You’ve pierced the bull's-eye of my breaking heart.
Casimir (gently). The bull’s—eye 1 sweet! No dart I dared to aim,
And yet a quiver passes through her frame.

. (They embrace.)
Premislas (very much annoyed).
Do you forget she’s going, to be my wife?
I never saw such coolness in my life I
Olinsha. There is no “ coolness betWeen as.” (Embraces him again.)
Casimir (returning her embrace). My own I
Premislas. Here, stop it l (Imitating the old man's voice in Cole’s
cilantrilgogaial entertainment). “Can’t you let the girl
a (.ne . ’
Laurinski, interfere these two to sever.

 
23

Laurinski. Part them !

(RUDZOLOFF and Guards seize CASIMIR. DROLINSKO takes
OLINSKA.)
C . _ Away with him I
aszmzr.
} Farewell! for ever !

Olmska.

FINALE.

AIR—“ The J ossy Huntsman.”
(Published by Illessrs. Francis Bros. «3- Ddy, Londow.)

Laurénski. Upon the Tartar horse renowned, from your ()linska torn,
When you are bound he’s bound to bound, I‘ll lay l
Drolins/co. I rather fancy you will wish you never had been born—~
Rudzolofi'. He doesn't mean born here, but borne away!
Olinska. Let us know how you are getting 0n~—though “getting
off,” when tied,
Ts the thing—but write. it will relieve our minds.
Carsimir. Just fancy l how the boys will shout, “\Vhy don’t you get
inside ?
“Johnny Gilpin, get inside ! pull down the blinds l "

Preméslas. Once I mounted on a gee-gee, and with me he ran away,
Shouting “ Woa I" in considerable pain.
Pulling hard I couldn’t stop her, came a cropper on my
topper"—
Sure as I’m :a Count I will not mount a gee-gee’s back
again!
(CASIMIR, OLINSKA, PRnMIsLAs, cit-0., and Chorus.)

w

When i Yhi’lré l mounted 0“ the gesgeev and With i i231}

he’ll run away,
Shouting “ Woa ! ’7 in considerable pain.

I’m aware I cannot stop her, so I’m bound to come a cropper,
And { 33$? } never see the Wild gee-gee nor Casimir

again !

GALOP.—“ Les Fusées."—Bo.sz'si0.

Casimir. O-O-O-linska I’ve to go
Where the horse may take me,

\Von’t it shake me !

Dearly may
You have to pay
For our love today——

All. Away!
ALL.
Olinslm, ICasim} Woe! Woe! \Voe!
Zenmlo.
Rudz. Drol. and} W03. ! Woa ! W'oa!
Grooms.

Lam. Prem. and 1 1 l
, Guards. } Oh' Oh‘ Oh"

 
 

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24

£011} have got to go
Where the horse may take him. }
me.
VVon’t it shake him ?
me ‘P
Dearly may
He have to pay,
For their love to-day—
Away !

[Horse kicks out, floors PREMISLAS, and gallops off with
MAZEPPA, the people crowd the terraces and balcony
L and R. Sentinels i'e-appear above. Home to be seen
with MAZEPPA flogging him up the steeps at back.
OLINSKA waves her hand to him, and he kisses his to
her. PREMISLAS takes gun from RUDZOLOFF andfl’r'es
at MAZEPPA. Horse goes on again. OLINSKAfaints in
LAURINSKI’S arms]

CURTAIN.

 

 
*2," PRINTED PRIVATELY, NOT PUBLISHED.

 

ACT II.

[The Plains of Tartary. A Model Tartar Village; goat, lamb, sheep,
cow, etc. Koumiss Dairy, Forge, etc. All working figures. Small
figures with cows and sheep R. cross bridge in distance, cbc. ; all as if
worked by mechanism. Shepherds, shepherdesses and Tartar war-
riors. ABDER KHAN'S tent R. 2 E. Raking piece representing descent
by mountain road L. Entrance by mountain pass above R. H. Line
of rock at the back, with small bridge in perspective, broken up so as
to show the landscape of the plains beyond. THAMAR and ZEMBLA,
shepherds and shepherdesses discovered]

CHORUS.
AIR.—" March.”—Fr. Thomé.
We simple Tartars Who are here,
Live by pillage,
Stealing sheep, then off we sheer
To our village, &c.

[Enter ONEIZA from tent R. 2 E.]

Oneiza. Thamar and Zembla ! What ! Can’t you be Wiser
Than to disturb your chief, my pa?
Thamar (reproachfurlly). Oneiza l

Zembla (tenderly). A nicer person have I never seen.
Oneiza (scornfully). Zemblal Dis-sexnblar!
Zembla. Every word I mean.
[THAMAR pushing him aside, ZEMBLA draws dagger, but

is guelled by a lookfrom ONEIZA.]

Thamar. And so do I. I love you, and invite him
To come outside with me, and I will fight him.
[They draw their daggers at one another.

Oneiza (authoritatively). Silence ! How dare you 1 Have you quite forgot
I am the daughter of your chief ?

Both (sullcily). We’ve not.
Thamar (sneering savagely). And such a chief!
Oneiea. Speak of my dad likeihis I
Thamar. Well, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, miss.
I love you.
Oneiza. Ha !——insult a chieftain’s darter!
You’ll catch a Tartar when you court a Tartar l
Zembla. But Abder Khan, our chief———th0ugh he’s your dad——
(hesitates)
Thamar. He’s “ off his chump”—that’s Tartary for mad.
Oneiza. Mad!
Thamar. ‘Vell, you know it, miss, as well as we.
Zembla. Where’s your Commissioners of Lunaoee .9
Thamar. Why, it we got two doctors and a beak

To sign, we'd have the chief locked up this week.
Let him resign at once.
Zembla. And not be tardy.
Thamar. Why, he’s quite mard, he calls himself the Mahdi.
Zembla. Says he’s a prophet, and can’t make a slip.

 
 

 

26

Thamar. Taps his nose thus, and says “this is my tip.”
It’s false.

Oneiza. His nose ?

Thamar. His tip. He name’s a hoes,
That’s safe to lose. Your prophet is our loss.

Zembla. Let him resign at once. A better man

‘ Stands here.

Thamar. Here I Here !

Oneiza. The child of Abder Khan

0n treason such as this her foot must plant,
To rule you, Abder Khan, or Abder can’t.
But if he can’t, Ican. What’s more, I will ;
I’ll hold the rein, and be La Reine, until
My long lost brother whom my pa’s so sad about,
Shall here return.
Thamar (regardless of Tartar grammar). It’s him as he’s gone mad
about.
Onetza. The boy was lost when scarcely two years old,
At least, such is the tale that I’ve been told.
Abder Khan (in tent). My boy! My boy! \Vhere has he gone to! Say!
Oneiza. Papa !
Thamar. And wandering in the usual way.

[MUsrc.—Enter ABDER KHAN—very mad. They get out
of his way and withdraw, watching him, R. & L.

THE MAD KHAN'S SONG.

AIR.—"‘ Wherever I may go.”
(Published (23/ Messrs. Francis Bros. and Day, London.)

I always ask “ Where is my little wee dog’? ”
\Vherever I may go.

And nobody knows that I travel incog,
Wherever I may go,

I’m invariably asking every one,
Wherever, &c.,

Do you know anything about my son,
Wherever, &c.

0, I may laugh, and I may sing,

And occas‘onally dance a Highland fling,

I may say I’m King of Hearts, but my heart’s a-ching,
Wherever I may go.

I know, indeed, I do know,

I know that I am not quite right, but yet,

I do know, indeed I do know

I’m mad as any hatter quite.

I call on Mazeppa, that was his name,
Wherever, &c.,

But I never get an answer all the same,
Wherever, &c.,

I think he's gone by an underground train,
Wherever, &c.

So it may be some time ere I see_him again,
Wherever, &c.

I may dance, &c., &c.

 

 
27

I carry a bit of chalk in my pocket,
Wherever, &c.,

And a box of fusees to send up a rocket,
Wherever, &c.

To see Mazeppa I go to the play,
Wherever, 810.,

But they won’t let me in unless I pay,
Wherever, &c.

I may dance, &c., &c.

They know me at all the music-halls,
\Vherever, 8:0,,
And I write Mazeppa all over the walls
\Vherever, &c.
I ask have you seen my son about ?
Wherever, &c.,
But they send for a bobby and they chuck me out,
Wherever, &c.

1 may dance, &c.

I send a message through the telephone,
Wherever, &c.

And I try to negotiate a trifling loan,
\Nherever, &0.

I’m often taken for a sandwich man,
Wherevar, &c.

And they ask for hot taters from a Tater Khan.
\Vherever, &c.

I may dance, &c., &c.

I sing a song made up of lost chords,
Wherever, &c.

I ask if my son’s in the House of Lords
\Vherever, 810.

At where he’s gone I'm always making guesses.
Wherever, &c.

Shall I see him playing Hamlet at the Princess’s?
Whenever I may go?

I may dance, &c.
[Mbd dance.

Abder Khan. Yes, he is lost ! my child !, my only one !
Oneiza. You forget me, papa.
Abder Khan You’re not my son.
/ Get out.
Thamar (aside to,ZEMBLA). See there! how badly he’s behaving!
Zembla (aside to Thamavr). A queer old cock!
Thamar (aside to him). A cock! He is a raving !
Abder Khan. My son ! my son ! Mazeppa ! where is he?
Ah! sometimes in a dream his form I see.
And when I say his “form,” I do not mean
The other boys where he at school has been.
Last night 1 saw him—I was dreaming—

Oneiza, Zembla and Thamar. No !
Abder Khan. I saw him galloping in Rotten Row.
Oneiza. In Rotten Roe—but that sounds very fishy. -

Thamar. You're suffering from dyspepsia—take some Vichy.

 
  

 

 

28

Ahder Khan. No vishy-Vashy stuif for me! Young man,
Don‘t try to make of me a Water Khan !
I tell you that I saw my son Mazeppa
Mounting the steppes of Tartary on a stepper.
He stopped, and crying out, “Your son I am !"
Showed me the usual mark of strawberry 3am
Upon his arm tatooed. I cried “ Halloo l "
And summoned all my guards with the tattoo.

Zemhla. Oh ! it was you who roused us with that warning ?

Oneiza. Tattoo." Yes, I heard that at two this morning!

A bder Khan. Away he galloped, starting as he spoke, ,
I ran, and, following in his wake, I woke. i
“Where are you ? ” then I cried, with all my force—

No son, no steed, instead a towel-horse.

No son, but only darkness o’er my path,

The towel—horse seemed saying, “ G0 to Bath 1 ”
And‘that's the last I’ve seen of my—my—son !

. [ZEMBLA and THAMAR laugh]
Those who don’t credit me I’ll give ”em one!

[Draws his sword. flIasic. Enter hurriedly shepherds
and shepherdesses in terror.]

Shepherd. 0, Abder Khan! great Chieftain—

A hder Khan. What’s the matter (

Shepherdesses. The Volpas coming with tremendous clatter—

Shepherds. All down the hills, and o’er the mountains flying—

All. Hearing and kicking, plunging, dashing, shieing l

Abder Khan. Shieing ! Come7 come, your frightened spirits rally,
Was it three shies a penny at Aunt Sally ?

What did he shie at ? a

All. Us l

Abder Khan. Hum ; “ shie ” means “ throw."
What did he throw ? his rider?

Oneiza (Temonstrafing with him). Don’t you know

The Volpas is a ghost which screaming sets us ?
Thamar. The Volpas / Won’t be vollop as if he gets us ?

CONCERTED PIECE.
AIR—“ Rather.” ,.

(Published by Messrs. Francis Bros. 9} Bar , London.) I
Oneiza. The Volpas is a dream of our legendary lore, l
Of which I’ll telllyou something, though you've heard it
all before.

The Volpas is a sort of Home the Hunter among us;
He’s always haunting Tartar — 66, and comes from

Tartar-us.

Abder Khan. But don’t you think you’d like it ?
Onetza (and all the others). Father ll
Abder Khan. Oh I then I see you dread it.
Oneiza (and the. others). Rather.
Onetza. I never saw a ghost,

And I do not wish to boast.
Abder Khan. Should you see and hear it,

Would you fear it ?

  
Oneiza (alone). Rather.
ALL.

Thamar, Zembla,
Oneiiza. and E VVe’re sure that we don’t like it.
Chorus.
All. 'Rather !
(As before.)
VVc’re sure that we dare not strike it !

\V ld Rather.
‘ / e’ve se om seen a host
ifanlm; Zembla, And we do not want tgo hoist
)dea A han, and B ‘ . u ’
Oneiza. . ut can t (lle! mble,
We should tremble.
A ll. ' Rather.
Zembla. And if the dreaded Volpas comes when we sit down to
sup.
Thamar. It proves itself a goblin, by gobbling dishes up.
Oneiza. I said it is a sort of Herne the Hunter, and I' say
It rides on Heme the Hunters horse, which is, of course,
Herne Bay.
A baler Khan. Herne Bay 1 I’ve never been there.
Oneiza (surprised) Father I
Abder Khan. But to Margate and to Ramsgate.
All (enthusiastically) Rather!

Abder Khan (boldly). ‘Vhy, if I saw a ghost
would have him upon toast!

Oneizas. Well, then, if there be one,
Would you see one?

Abder Khan (delighted). Rather!

7 'hamar. to

Zembla. Abder You’re sure that you would like it ?
Oneiza. Khan ,
Abder Khan (defiantly). Rather!
(The same as before.)
(To him.) And you‘d stand up and fight it.
Abder Khan (valiantly) Rather I
I'm such a plucky chap,
And I do not care a rap.
‘ I’d like a bantam
Fight a phantom.
Abder Khan (and all). Rather!

CHORUS.
He’s sure that he would like it, &c.

[Just as the dance isfinishing the figure ofMAZEPPA
on horseback is seen crossing the bridge in perspec-
tive at back. All run out R. and L. The KHAN,
last, stops to tie his boot. MAZEPPA appears on
horseback coming clown L. 2 E. Emit ABDER KHAN
hurriedly into his tent anal draws the curtains,
leaving his boat R. 2 FL]

[Enter down the pass L. 2 E. CASIMIR leading the horse]

 
   

30

Casimir. “ This is the place, stand still my steed! ” Gee l woa l
He’s ready for a drop, not for a “ go.”

Lie there l well—there l he sniffs a boot. well worn, in it
There’s been—hay, what? of course, a little corn in it.
He seems to know the place, although a stranger,

I leave you to yourself—you’ll find a manger.

[Exit horse R. 2 E. behind ABDER KHAN's tent.

‘(To audience.) You saw those figures—out there—grin g
thus ?

Jerky :—well, ’scuse bad grammar, that was us.

At the first starting he was rather queer,

But how he did “urge on his wild career! " *

(witlz pride) You will not meet his like on Margate sands l

Go through such feats, and only fifteen hands!

I’ve done it! But ’tis nothing. you must know,

To What was done at Astley’s long ago :

When the equestrian drama was its pride,—

I’ll tell you what was then Mazeppa's Ride!

SONG OR RECITATION.

MAZEPPA’s RIDE.
(A Tale of Astley’s Theayter.)

I'll tell you of Mazeppa’s ride, and go through every scene,

Not what’s been happening to myself, but what it ought to have been,
As it was when first Mazeppa’s horse crossed many a “ profile ” ridge,
At Hashley’s, now called Sanger's, which is by Westminster Bridge.

The first scene was a “Castle Set ” which overlooked a tract

Of “made out” rocks and platforms and a working cataract ;
There were practicable bridges, and you’ll never guess, I warrant,
That gauze was the material used to form the mountain torrent.

REFRAIN.

’Twas done at Astley’s Equestrian Show,
In the old melodrama of long, long ago.

“ Bring out the untamed horse ! ” Ah me ! it was a fearful sight,

Cream-coloured, with pink eyes, as if he’d been out late last night,

We saw the knock-knead “ su-pers,” who held the blinking steed ;

And we shuddered for the moment when that wild horse should be
freed.

When we saw him stem the river in another later scene,

We felt the untamed steed would be at home in a “machine ;”
Mazeppa gives a kick, says “ tchk,” away 1 the audience cower,
Horror l to see him tearing off at quite three miles an hour !

 

Ah 1 how enthusiastic is the rapturous applause,

As he crosses platform mountains, clears the torrent made of gauze ;

Upon his back Mazeppa sticks like anything that’s gummy,

Now up the “rakes ” his way he takes l—Thank Heaven! ’Tis a.
dummy l

Refrain.——’Twas done at Astley’s, &c.

 

 

3" Since this was written. another speech and song have been placed at

   

MAZEPPA’s disposal, which will be found at the end of the book.
31

In the next scene—still, going on—it is a panorama,

And the whole country seems alive 2 It is a moving drama I
The untamed steed is nodding, but the pit and gallery cheer
The panorama which is “urging on its wild career !"

Yet for a final eiiort himself the brave horse saves,

For gallantly he has to breast the wood and canvas waves ;

Then he’s pursued by hungry wolves, whose jaws are worked by
strings

While the rirompter and the carpenters are howling at the wings.

Loud roars the dread sheet thunder, like a dozen tea-trays tumbling,
\Vlule heavy trucks are wheeled about to do the distant rumbling,
And the liquopodium lightning flashes through the horrid din,
While the rain comes down in torrents, like peas rattling in a tin.

Refrain—Twas done at Astley’s, &c.

Swooped down a bird l—a property, with movements Wild and
jerky—

At Christmas, “ Where’s the sausages? ” they cried, “for here’s the
turkey l ”

And some one in the gallery, who didn’t care to check ’em,

Shouted, “This here‘s not Tartary, he’s only come to Peckham I "

Across the stream upon the cream of Tartary he’s borne

To where is hid a groom who’s holding half a feed of corn.
Behind a tree exhaustively the horse and rider fall—
Proudly Mazeppa bows his thanks in answer to a call!

But what is coming next I may not tell you in these rhymes,

For this is but a story of the old equestrian times,

When Astley’s was called “ Hashley’s,” and in crowds they used to go
To see the Equestrian Drama which was “mounted by Ducrowl "

Refrain—Twas done at Astley’s, &c.
[Emit R. 2 E. after horse.

[Re-enter R. & L., cautiously, to music, the Torture,
THAMAR R., ZEMBLA L.

AIR-—“ Danse des Aborigines."

Thamar, Zembla } Treading very lightly,
and the others. Trip it, skip it ;

' Nervous we all slightly,
Courage lack.

Candid our confession,

But discretion——

Better part of valour—

Let’s go back.

[Some going R.,fullowed by THAMAR. Some L.,followed
by ZEMBLA. ONEIZA comes down c.from Tent L.,
at back.

Ongiza, Never, never, never,
Did you ever,
Know a Tartar coward-
ly behave ?
T/mmar, Zemblu, etc. Never, never, never!
Ain't she very clever ?
Let us all endeavour
To be brave.

 
 

   

   

32

[They are encouraging themselves with a wild
national dance when the KHAN rushes in and down
0. pursued by the horse. THAMAR and ZEMBIjA
shrink back R. 0., ONEIZA L. C. The KHAN kneels in
abject terror, as do all the others, when CASIMIR
comes down C. between horse and ABDER KHAN.]

C’asimir. Woa, then l My steed’s a Tartar l Be a man, Khan l
He knew the dance, and joined you in a Khan-Khan!
Abder Khan (wildly). Tartar'

Casimir. Not scratched l A safe—as—houses starter.
Back him! ~

Abder Khan (at once). I Will. (Backs him into tent.)

Casimir. Say, Khan, why this Cau-tata

That you are singing? while my steed, poor thing,
Being, you see, a little hoarse, can't sing?
[Emit horse.
Oneiza. ’TWas nothing, sip—but look, 0, look at him!

[Pointing to ABDER KHAN, who is indulging in the
most extraordinary contentions, supposed to be
premonitory symptoms of returning reason.

Casimir. He’s like a pointer—shakes in every limb!
Does he make game of me? Why point and stare ?
Abder Khan. Make game of you! You are the long-lost Hare .’
Hare t0 the Tartar throne, its rights and charters—-

Casimir. Thinking of ZEsop’s table, Hare and flartars.’
Thamar. His intellect is clouded, as you see.

Zembla. And he is suffering from too much tea.
Casimir. Wait till the clouds roll by, old man, and then

You’ll be as dry again as other men.
Abder Khan. I am not mad !

Casimir. N 0? So it seems, old manny.
Abder Khan. I am the Khan l
Casimir. Are you ? You look un-canny.

Abder Khan. I do not Wish to cause the least alarln,
But—you’ve a strawberry—mark on your left arm ?
Casimir (excitedly). I have!
All. He has l
Abder Khan. Don’t think that I talk bush—-
When two years old we lost you at the wash.
We’d marked your name—for we were then in jeopardy—-
“ Mazeppa,” in a stulf we called “ Mazeppa dye.”
Casimir (who has been baring his arm). This is for all of us a question

vital.
See ! See ! Thus I bare arms to prove my title !
’Tis here I
All. ’ Mazeppa I
Abder Khan. Ah l my long lost son !
Casimir. My long lost father! (They embrace. Tableaua‘.)

(Stepping forward to audience.)
And that’s how it’s done.
(ABDER and CASIMIR bow to audience.)

How’s mother ? (ABDER KHAN and all turn away and
sob.)
Is she? And my brother?
Oneiza. Brother ?
No ; I’m your sister.
'f"*fiWr “W

33

animir (embracing her). Are you ? Any other ?
AbdenKhan. Son, you must have a regal robe to wear ;
Oasimir. I’m quite agreeable if you’ve one to spare.

(He goes up with ABDER KHAN, and some of the Tartars
bring from the tent a robe, a sword, and shield.

Thamar (to ZEMBLA). What do you say to this ?
Zembta. I say t’won’t do.
Thamar. The son we know is a mere par-ve-noo.
To kiss the ground before him I’ll not yield.
Zembla. Nor I !
Thamar (drawing). Come on! (barking away.)
Zemhla (urging himforward). You first!
Oasimir (striking his shield with his sword). This sword and shield.
Good properties. Walk up!
Thamar (boldly). First kill the Khan.
Thamar and Zembla (attaching ABDER KHAN). Die! die!

(ABDER KHAN hits out, but falls L.)

Casimir (C) What ! Strike a tottering old man !
1'hamar (retiring with ZEMBLA, R.) We laugh your power to scorn.
Oasimir. I put this“ con,”—

Can you two fight ?
Thamar and Zenihla (edging awag R. H..) We can’t!
Casimir (with savage determination). You can’t ! Come on !

[ABDER KHAN has got up again and tackles ZEMBLA.
CASIMIR strikes down THAMAR. ONEIZA oflers
refreshment to CAs1M1R.

Casimir. Thankye, I don’t mind if I do. (Drinks) Behead ’em I
Abder Khan. ’Zeppa, sufficient lesson we have read ’em.
Now, with my orders, they’ll pass free.
Oneiza (to ABDER KHAN). Explain.
Abder Khan. Yes. With this drop of mercy ends my reign.
I’ve had so many troubles here and there,
So many disappointments everywhere—
Abroad, at home, such cares ! There’s one solution
Of all my troubles.
All. What ?
Abder Khan. Redistribution !
(To CASIMIR.) You take my seat, the seat of Abder Khan.
I Abder—cate.
Casimir. You are a grand old man !
Abder Khan. Come to my tent. Oh, than it looks ’tis roomier,
And there you’ll find our usual costumier
With regal robes, the regalar attire ;
And you can choose whatever you require.
Hail to your King, Mazeppa 1” “ What cheer, ’Ria l”

(They cheer feebly.)
Oasi/nir. That cheer was low ; you’ll next, I wot, cheer ’igher.
(They cheer excitedly.)

 
  

CONCERTED PIECE AND CHORUS.
AIR—“ What cheer, Ria ? ”

(Sung by Mrss BESSIE BELLWOOD. Air used by her permission.)

  
  
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
 
 
 
 

Abder Khan. Mazeppa has come back again
His father’s mind to ease;
I see with joy the darling boy,
I dandled on my knees.
Uneéza. My little brother, in effect,
They did contrive to lose,
But you’re the brother l’d select—
That’s if I had to choose.

Thamar. I think that we are sold again.
Zembla. I’m sure we’re in a mess.
Casimir. I Wished when riding in the train,

I had a thicker dress.
Don’t want to brag, for ’t was my nag,
That knew his way about ;

The cob came too, whenever you,
To King Mazeppa shout :—

VVhat cheer, ’Zeppa ?
’Zeppa on a cob ;

\Vhat cheer, ’Zeppa,
Is your horse upon the job ?

O, Mazeppa is a tof’E,

And he never tumbled off;
So they all shout,

What cheer, ’Zeppa !

Casimir. And now I am a king and free,
My love I’ll go and save ;
Then teach ’em what it is to be,
Regarded as a slave.

Oneiza. I do not know exactly what
You mean, but I’ll go too.
Abder Khan. And I’ll stay here, because I’ve got,
Much better things to do.
Thamar. We’d better say that we obey,
And show our loyaltee.
Zembla. Or else they’ll have a shorter way,
With you and also me.
Casimi'r. I’ll just put on my royal togs,

And take a ride about,
While all the jolly Tartar dogs,
Will to Mazeppa shout :—

VVhat cheer, ’Zeppa ?
’Zeppa on the cob, &c.

  
,rv 1‘

Olinska.

35

[MUSIo. OLINSKA, disguised as a peasant girl, appears
coming down the mountain pass at back. She carries
a small basket.

I’ve run from home, and took a father’s curse ; ‘
And, what is worse, I’ve come without my purse.
Says Pa, “Count Premlslas you shan’t refuse ! ”
Says I to Pa, “ I’ll do just what I choose I "
Didn’t he bang the tables and the chairs ?

Didn’t he—well, when Pa does swear, he swears!
I told my maid I’d leave my dulce domam,

And she replied, “ If your’re a-going, g0, mum.”
A marriage can’t take place W‘tilOut a bride—

At least I’m not aware that it’s been tried.

And so ’twixt Pa and me there’s an estrangement.
Pa wouldn’t come to any fair arrangement—

In fact, his conduct has been simply bearish!

(Looking round her.)

I’ve come to some arrangement that seems fairish.
Ah ! here I can raise money on my wares,

(Showing various things in her basket.)

These little things, all madeg‘for fancy fairs.

A Tartar Village ! I must just practise

My country dialect for this disguise.

“ Plaze, zur,” then curtsey—I must be polite—
“ I be zo ’ungry”—Oh ! that don’t sound right.
0 bother Pa ! but this shall cost him dear,

Yet, if I could but find mv Casimirl

SONG.
AIR.—“ Claire Waltz.”

Oh, when he leit I cry did,
\Vas chided,
Avided,
\Vhen I was asked “him why did
You love," could I explain?
But if you’ve once decided,
You’d do just What I did,
Ordered a fly,
And nobody by
I caught the train.

Ah !
VVon’t they be Wild With me.
Pa
Will come out strong, you’ll see.
Where
Flown away ?
Who can s«y?
Where ?
Then he will swear.
Ah 1 Ah ! &c.

 
 

  

36

As I would not be guided,
Or hided,
He try did,
But from his grip I slided,
And he fell on the floor.
On this myself I prided
1n art I confided.
Then I went out,
And turning about
I looked the door!

AIR.—“ Azalea Schottische.”

At home they'll consider me
A naughty little girl.
They will not talk about me
As a treasure or a pearl,
They'd tie me to a governess,
I know that's what they meant
And “lay me up in lavender,”
To keep me in a scent 1

Of course I always blush
If I’m offered a kiss,
Aud say, “What do you mean ? ”
And turn like this.
But when the man I love
. Produces the ring,
He’ll find that I’m a gentle,
Simple thing 1

[Dance Schottische air. Exit L. 2 E.

[MUSIC. Enter down mountain pass R. H. at back Polish
Police, then DROLINSKO, then, RUDZOLOFF, then
LAURINSKI.

Drolinsko. Policemen, halt! Here, Rudzolofi, this way.
Come down 1
(RUDZOLOFF appears, descending with difiiculty.)
Rudzolofi' (falling). Yes. I’ve been coming down all day !
(Tumbles, and is assisted up by Police.)
Laurinshi (above, with alpenstoch). Look out below !

Radzolofi”. Hold on, sir, to the rock !
Laurinshi. Ho! (Falls, then sits up.) Backwardation l and a fall in
stock.
(To DROLINSKO.) What are you staring at, you stupid
pun?
(To Rudzolofi.) You’re a policeman ?
Rudzolofi'. ' Yes.
Laurinski. Then take me up !

(They raise him.)

Ten minutes for refreshment.
Rudzolofi. O dear, no!
March I

[Exezmt men.

 

  
37

Drolinsko. But we can be served on tms plateau? -

Laurtnski. “Plateau, thou reasonest well 1 ” (Looking round.) Good
place for pillage l

Rudzolqfl‘ (examining tent). Blacksmith’s.

Laurinshi. N0, Goldsmith’s. The “Deserted Village.”
Drolins/co. Perhaps Olinska’s hiding here ?

Rudzolofi‘. May be.

Laurinské. Suppose we go into the tents and see ?

[MUSIQ DROLINSKO goes to Koumtss Dairy. The cow
looking over rails opens her mouth, and cow from
within tent butts at him, at the same time the smith
rushes outwith huge hammer at LAURINSKI, and the
goats butt at RUDZOLOFF.

Rudzolofi‘. Savages l

Dmlinsko. No ; they’re only Tartar gents.
Laurtnski. ZEsthetic, I should say—they’re all in tents J
Laurinski. To all in-tents and purposes they’re Wild.

1 will not ask them if they’ve seen my child ;‘

For we must find and bring her back til-day—

The Count must never know she ran away.
Drolinsko. The Count went out and won’t be back till late,

He is preparing for the wedding fete.

Hiring some fireworks and catherine-wheels,

Dancers, queer fishes Wilh electric heels ;

And anything to give the folks a sight

To-morrow—
Laurimki. Good ! VVe’ll take her back to-night.
Rudzolofi‘. Trust your detective. Ha ! I see some footmarks l
Droltnsko. The traces of Princess Olinska’s bootmarks !
Laurinski. Her traces ! That’s unlikely ; for you know

That she kicked over them so long ago l

But stay; this is a “hamlet.” Now, my guess‘is

That we are on our road to the Princess’s !
Rudzolofi'. Follow l To Poland I will take her hence.
Drolins/co. I’m half inclined to plead in her defence.
Rudzolofi. l’ll prosecute the search with resolution—-
Laurinski. And I’m for Poland and the prosecution!

TRIO.
AIR—“ Black and Tan Polka."

Rudz. In doing duties that are hard to do,
Demanding very clever gentlemen to tackle ’um,
I have [16“] a nasty fall or two—
0, where is some diachylum, diachylum l

Laurinski. You’ve got your task,
I only ask
Do keep to your own line,
I merely say
Take your own way,
And I will keep to mine.

 
  

 

38

I hardly know

With which to go, ,
But let the quarrel cease,

If there’s a choice,

I give my voice
At once to the police.

In doing duties, &c., &c.

I have } &c.

He has

[Enuut RUDZOLorr, LAURINSKI and Dnomnsxo, 3.1!.

[MUSIC. “She wandered down the mountain side.”
Enter COUNT PREMISLAS down L. H., same entrance as
CAsmm had come on horseback.

Premislaa (comes down, examining tents, and looking cautiously around).

Nobody here ? No. So I needn’t run.

No ; not a moving creature anywhere—(sheep baas)—bar
one!

And he’s a very harmless sort 0’ beast.

(Produces pack of cards.)

Take a card? Yes. So ready to be fleeced !

“ Koumiss." A dairy. All just suits my flutter——

The cow, the cream of Tartary, and—(the goat butts him)
——and the butter!

“No kid.” (Goat is quiet.) Is there a bull ? I hate a bull,

Although of me he wouldn’t get the pull.

He’d want to toss me ; let him just begin,

I’ll toss him double or quits, I’m sure to Win.

To—morrow I am married to a treasure,

And business I’m going to mix with pleasure.

Materials I’m collecting for a show—

_My wife, Who’s showy, will be all the go.

So, in absence of the Tartar tribe,

My spec, my plan and terms I will describe.

SONG.—PREMISLAS. (Music by Meyer Lute.)

“ Onns AND ENDS; on, THE New INDUSTRIAL EXHIBITION."

 

The notion is great, and I have an idea,
But there’s such competition ;
I don’t mean to wait, but this very year
I'm starting an exhibition.
“Industrial Exhibition ” gay,
With no admission free, sir ;
To start it I’m the man ! I’m a
“ Chevalier d’industrie, sir i

CHORUS.

Odds and ends from various friends!
Catalogue l erudition !

Capital game! and splendid name I

“ Industrial Exhibition ! "

  
39

Upon four legs, for matching eggs,
We’ll have the new ovarium ;

A couple of sprats in open vats,
Shall be our grand aquarium.

Bub extra to go to the Richardson's show,
Your bones t’will freeze your marrow in ;
With a hero ghost vill’in and plenty of killin‘,

And a heroine who’s so harrowin’ ?

Odds and ends, &c.

For putting out fire inventions there’ll be
Of efficacy vaunted ;
Machines for saving life at sea,
But never there when wanted.
Of niggers with their sweetest tones
I’ll have a band of five 0 ;
And a skeleton man—the Original Bones—a . ,
Alive, alive, alive 0 l g l

Odds and ends, &c. ~

 

To—morrow we shall married be,
For there’s no opposition ;

My wife secure, I’ll take her on tour
With me and my exhibition.

If she her feelings can’t repress,
And the bus’ness thinks below her, ,3 ' ‘2

I’ll advertise a real Polish Princess, »
And at Sixpence a head I’ll show her.

Odds and ends, &c.

Then tricks with hats. and acrobats,
Who keep their limbs so pliant ;
A woman Who’s fat, a singing rat,
And an Australasian giant.
Pianos for sale on every scale,
Where players may try their digits,
And a real Tom Thumb, from New York just come,
And a party of genuine Midgets.

Odds and ends, &c.

In one court there will be sport 5.
And implements of tillage ;

I'll show ’em all a Tartar caught
In a genuine Tartar village.

If difficulties are in my way
With which I cannot grapple—

lf the genuine Tartars will not stay— ‘
Then I’ll get ’em from—hem—Whitechapel !

Odds and ends, &c.

 
  

 

 

 

40

The mashers will talk of the Tartar milk-walk.
With Tartar girls (a vision 1) . ”

They’ll take koumiss, say “ I’ll take 00,1mss!
But that’s not their koo—mission. .

Dark girls from Havannah With most fetchlng manner,
Sell guinea cigars dark as oakum ; H
They’ll tell every swell, “Oh, they’ll keep very well, "
And might add, “ But you won’t if you smoke ’em 1

Odds and ends, &c.
[Emit into Koumiss Dairy L. n.

___.._.

Enter from tent ABDER KHAN, in easy costume, with pipe.

Abder Khan. Now for the rest, for which so long I’ve yearned ;
I have resigned my seat, my son’s returned.

[Re-enter OLINSKA, looking of L. n.

Olinska. I’m sure I saw them. How my heart is sinking.

Abder Khan. A petticoat ! Hallo l

Olinska (startled). Ohl (regarding him) how he’s
blinking!

Abder Khan. Nice gal ! (winks, and kisses his hand to her.)
Olinska (to herself). Of what can that old man be thinking !
I’ll try my accent (timidly to him, attempting country
dialect.)
Oh, zur, if you please.
Abder Khan (fatuously). I do, please, don’t I ?

Olinska (alarmed). Sir !
Aber Khan (to himself, chuckling). I do love sprees.
Olinska. If you’d buy zumthing, please sir ; these quite new are“

(Showing little knitted socks.)
My little stock-in’ trade. Not dear.
Abder Khan (rapturously) But you are.
Olinska (pretending not to understand him).
Are what ?
Abder Khan. A dear! say will you be my own !
Olinska. Your deer—~you queer old buck l
Abder Khan. You are alone
And unprotected! N o! if my affection——
Olinska (proudly pointing to her basket).
I’m a fair trader,but want no protection.
I’m only looking for a party.

Abder Khan. Here l

Olinska. 0 tell me have you seen my Casimir?

Abder Khan. Casimir; you mean Cashmere, which you‘ve got
To sell.

' Olinska. No; he’s my lover.

Abder Khan. Then I’ve not.
And so you want to see your lover ?

Olinska. Rather l

Abder Khan. I’ll be his representative. (Approaching her gallantly.)
Olinska (repulsing him). Oh !

Oneiza (appearing at door of Koumiss tent). Father!

(to OLINSKA.) And you ?

  
41

Olinslca. I’m looking for my Casimir !
()nelza. Your what ?
Abder Khan. I f: ncy she’s a trifle queer,
A little gone.
Oneiza Then she will be all right,

When she is quite gone and well out of sight.
But here’s a gentleman (to ABDER KHAN) .who wants
to know you.
I think he wants to purchase and to show you—
Premislas (who has been coming down from dairy).
If you’ll allow me to

Olinska. The Count !'
Premislas. Princess !

 

[Re-enter LAURINSKI, RUDZOLOFF, DROLINSKO and guard: L. H.

All. Princess !
Laurinski. And masquerading in this dress !
Premislas. I see it. Jealous. She began to doubt me.
She missed me—found she couldn’t do without me,
Followed me in disguise—is now half frantic——
Sweet thing ! it is deliciously romantic.
Laurinski. You’re right. (Aside) That’s good enough for me.
(Aloud) Now, daughter.
Rudzoloffi to the castle you’ll escort her.
(To DROLINSKO) When she returns she’ll in her chamber
sup.
Drolz’nsko. Should she remonstrate, sir 1-.
Laurinski (giving him a key.) Then shut her up.

CON CERTED PIECE.

AIR—“ Never come back."

(Composedby F. P. AYLMER, and used by permission of WALTER Mmon.)

Rudzolofi'. Oh, you’re a nice girl to go gadding about,
And to give your old father such pain,
Drolinsko. But once you’re locked up, you won’t quickly get out,
So you’re sure not to do it again.
Ollnslca (to’ PREMISLAS). Tell them that locking me up is a mockery.
Premislas (to LAURINSKI). She is so any ry she’ll smash all the crockery,
Turn on the water and swamp your new rockery,
Then you’ll have cause to complain.
Laurinski (violently). But when she once leaves this,
She’ll never come back.
All (in dlfierent styles). Never come back!
Premlslas. I’ll say it now to save a row,
And any amount of jaw,
She’ll marry to-morrow, and then, my old chap,
Beneath your proboscis our fingers we’ll snap l
You are not her mother, or sister, or brother,
You’re only my father-in-law !
Laurinslci (still more violently). But when she once leaves this,
She’ll never come back !

 
  

 

 

All. Never come back I
She’ll marry to-morrow, and then, my old chap,
Beneath your proboscis her fingers she’ll snap ;
He is not her mother, or sister, or brother,
But only a father-in—law!

[Exeunt OLINSKA, guarded by RUDZOLOFF, DROLINBKO, and
police, up pass at back, and of R. 3 E.

Premislas. Now, then, to business.
A Mr Khan. First, I’ll know who you are. ‘
Premislas. I am (aside), ’hem, caution (aloud), I’m an Interwewar.

(Takes out note- book.)

Your name ?

Abder Khan. 0, dash it I
Premislas. The O’Dashit. Sure,
A Tartar come from Ireland I’ll secure
The pair.
Oneiza. (To LAURINSKI, introducing‘ABDER). My father, sir.
Premislas. The pére and child
I’ll show’em both. Real Tartars. Caught quite wild.
Premislds. I want to have a deal.
Abder Khan (suspiciously). As a cheap Jack.

A sort of pedlar ?
Premislas (produce: cards). Yes, and here’s my pack.
Play you for everything you’ve got.

Abder Khan (decisively) You shall. (Produces pack.)
Premislas (aside). He’s far too ready.
Laurinshi (aside to PREMIsLAS). Mind, include the gal ;

I’ll take her ott your hands.
[Goes up with ONEIZA.
Premislas (aside). Laurinski’s going it.
(To ABDER) Now, shall we cut.

[CASIMIR appears in a regal robe from tent R. and other R.

Abder Khan (stopping suddenly). Without Muzeppa’s knowing it.
He’s there.
Premislas. My King.
Abder Khan. No, mine.
Casimir (starting, and seeing PREMISLAS, aside). The Count I
Premislas (to ABDER, while CAsiMiR listens). The village
Peasants, goats—King again !——the things for tillage,
I’ll take ’em :ell, the residential flats,
With Tartar oonjurots and acrobats.
Abder Khan. I must consult my partner about this. (Goes to CASIMIR.)
Oneiza. Meantime, pray take some Koumiss.

Laurinslci. Thanlc’oo, Zlliss.

[LAURINSKL ONEIZA, and PREMISLAS go up. Sit at
table, and are served by ONEIZA.

C’asimir (aside to ABDER KHAN). Take him. I’ve heard his offer. I've
Ean.

a P
Abder Khan. Ah! If you’d seen the daughter of that man.

Casimir. What man ‘P

Abder Khan (pointing to Laurinski). That one.

Casimir (horrified). Laurinski !

Abder Khan (wildly). He 1 ha ! ha I (hysterically)

My bitterest foe l (A boat to draw dagger and rush at him.)

  
43

Casiwir (restraining him). Papa ! il nefautpas .’

.1 inter Khan (astonished). NOT kill him ‘8

Cusimir. Tartar proverb.

A b Ker Khan (reproachfully). Oh ! Mazeppa ;

(.‘asimir. To Whom we give our salt, we can’t give pepper.
(impulsively) His daughter—4611 rue—she was here~
but where ?
A b Zer Khan. He‘s sent her back again—somewhere out there, (pointing)
His castle.

Casimir (with determination). From her rescue naught shall bar me,
We’ll go as acrobats, and the entire army
Shall go disguised.
A bder Khan. Yes ; the whole place he buys.
Casimir. You’ll make him pay all “ ex’s" if you’re wise.
[’remislas (coming down to CASIMIR, while ABDEB. KHAN gives commands
to Tartar.) You’ve settled it ?
(L’asirnir. We have. No sum we fix
But hand you over the whole bag-of tricks.
As for the terms, we leave all that to you.
Premislas. My dear sir, it’s the best thing you can do.
You shan't repent it.
Casimir. No, I'm sure we shan’t.
We part with the whole stock (aside), a splendid plant.
Laurins/ci. You ought to see the troupe that you have bought.

Casimir. Certainly. And you’ll join us in the sport.
Then off.
(Gives signal by clapping his hands. Enter Tartar-s.)
Lrlurinski. The sport ! but I am so rheumatic.
Premislas. ‘ Come ! be a boy again—and acrobatic.

I used to do gymnastics once, but I
Am out of practice—never mind—I’ll try.

[The Tartar Troupe appears. CASIMIR and ABDER
KHAN throw of robes and appear in special Tartar
acrobatic dresses. PREMISLAS and LAURINSKI
imitate and accommodate their costumes to circum-
stances. ONEIZA takes a tambourine.

(PREMISLAS, LAURINSKI, CASIMIR, ABDER KHAN, ONEIZA,
and Chorus.)

AIR—“ Ki—ya.” (Mowhawk Minstrels.)

“ Ki~ya, Ki-ya,” skip ye,
You who can !
“ Ki-ya, Ki-ya," you who can !
\Ve’ll tumble and turn,
(VVe’ve nothing to learn,
{We’ve plenty to learn.
VVe’re the Acrobat Tartary Troupe I
From the Acrobat Tartary Troupe !

(They perform feats. Music. When finished, they re-
peat chorus as above and bow, forming a tableau.)
(After sports.)
Abder Khan. And I have a performing horse. I’ll show him. ’
Casi/air (aside to him). What are you domg, stupid? Why, they 11
know him ! -

Laurinski (£- Premislas.

Premislas d3 Laurinski.

 
  

 

44

 

Abder Khan (aside to Casimir). No, I have painted him—he’s now I.
dark horse !

(Horse led in ; instead of being a cream, he is now black.)

Caaimir. Suited for anything—field, circus, or a park horse.
A very clever horse.
Premislas. A niceish gee.
(Aside) Although he’s clever, he’s not “up to me !"
(Aloud.) I’ll toss you for him !
No ; I can’t let you buy him.

He’ll walk across a tight rope.

Laurinski. Say, you’ll try him.
Premislas. I’ll ride across a tight rope l
Casimi'r. In the air ?
Premislas. Yes.
Ten to one against you !
Premislas. Done ! Prepare !
Laurimki (aside to him). I’m fly!
Premislas. It’s safe as walking on a shelf.

(LAURINSKI and Tartar hold rope quite tight, about two
inches from ground.)

The pole to balance.

Premislas. I’m the Pole—myself !
And first, you see, I get upon the horse. (Mow/Its.)
Hoop la ! (The horse steps over the tightrope.)
Casimir. You see! I’ve ridden right across!
A bder Khan. 0, I say I ’Tisn’t fair. We have been done.
Premislas. Not fair ?

Casimz'r (to ABDER, aside). Hush l
(Aloud, paying PREMISLAS.) Nine.

Premislas. It should be ten.
Casimi'r (with meaning). I’ll owe you one
Which when we get to Poland I will pay!
Premislaa. Then let’s set off at once. Away !
All. Away!
FINALE.

POLKA MAZURKA.—Guigl.

(Premislas, Laurinski, Orneiza, Casimir, and Abder dancing.)

We are starting,
Departing,

For quite a new scene.
All a-Maying,
And playing

The gay tambourine.
On the eve of departur'
You will see every Tartar

Acrobatic,

Ecstatic,

And for action so keen.

Jumping, vaulting,

  
45

A bder CLLS. and
the Tartars.
A bder, Cas., and}

Pram. a? Lam. ; Somersaulting,

Some assaulting.

all Tartars. Oh, we know what we mean

Pram. & Lau'r. Oh, we know what they mean.

AIR—“ The Maid of the Mill." (Stephen Adams.)

Premislas. You owe me a quid,

For you made a. bet With me.
Casimir. I don’t deny I did,

And I’ll pay you punc tu-al-lee.
Preméelas. Oh, oftentimes have I lent,

A sovereign or two;
And nothing now remains of ’em,
But a worthless I.O.U.

Do not forget me,
For you did bet me,
But do not give me a bill.
Money down will do,
I don’t want you to
Remember me in your Will.

ENSEMBLE.

Caaimir'. I’ll not forget thee;
Yes, I did bet thee ;
No, I’ll not give thee a bill. fl,
Money down from me,
You may want, and won’t be,
Remember, dismay’d at my Will.
Pre'm'slas. Do not forget me,
For you did bet me-
But do not give me a bill.
Money down for me,
For I don’t want to be—
Remember, dismay’d at your Will.

Ome'za, Abder Khan and the others.

He’ll not forget thee ;
Yes, he did bet thee.
N0, he’ll not give thee a bill.
Money down, says he,
“ Oh, I don’t wan’t to be,
Remember, dismay’d at your Will.”

CHORUS.——We are starting, &c.

 
  

CONCERTED PIECE AND CHORUS—Illeyer Lutz.

 

 

Caravan ! Caravan !
With a jolly caravan

We will a touringr go!
With the merry caravan
Of a Tartar Khan,

And an acrobatic show !

Caravan !
And an acrobatic show!

Upon an exhibition bent
Come each Tar— Tar and pitch a. tent.
Caravan ! Caravan!
Caravan!

With merrirnent
He’ll pitch a tent,

He’ll pitch a tent
With merriment—
Tar-tar and pitch a tent.

Caravan !

Caravan ! Caravan !
With a jolly caravan
We will a touring go !
With The merry caravan
Of a Tartar Khan
And an acrobatic show!
Caravan !

[A ll strike attitudes.

TABLEAU.

A CURTAIN DESCENDS.

  
Laurens/:6.

   

   

*fi PRINTED PHIVATELY, NOT PUBLISHED.

 

ACT III.

SCIKB 1.———An Apartment in Laurimki Cattle.

[Enter LAURINSKI joyously in wedding aocmmc.

My daughter’s wedding day will clear my debt
To Premislas ! We may be happy yet !

Happy 1 Yes ! Her disconsolate papa

Will take a little holiday. Ha ! ha !

Off like a fluttering bird ! It will be jolly!

Up with the lark ! and down with melancholy !
Larks ! Larks a mussy ! \Vhat a game ’twill be I
Paris ! not on the sane—but on the spree !

SONG.—LAURINSKI.
MY BEAUTIFUL LADY.

It was of my life the heyday
Years ago when l was in France,
I fell in love with a Beautiful Lady,
Which the tale is quite a romance.

Titti-shalong, shalong, shaleary,
Titti-shalong, shalong, shalay.

Walking in the garden shady,
Where they keep the elephant, '
There I saw my Beautiful Lady,
Weeping in the J ardin des Plsntel.

I come up and take off my “cadi,”
And I ask, “Why do you cry ? "

She said nothing, my Beautiful Lady
Gave me a look with her beautiful eye.

She looked faint, her colour fadey,
Sighing, sobbing, worse and worse,
“I’m alone," says my Beautiful Lady,
“ All alone! and I’ve lost my purse 1 "

Then I smile as bright as Mayday,
“ Here’s my purse and my l'argent l "
How she took it! my Beautiful Lady,
Sighing, “ Mossoo, que vous étes bonl "

Then I offer some lemonadey,
Which her colour will bring back ;

And she orders, my Beautiful Lady,

“ Demo petits verres du cogniac."
 

48

Then she tells me her name is Haidée.
Husband a Turk, st 815 jaloux!

“Le voild I ” she shrieke—my Beautiful Lady !

i She runs away—and I run away too I

 

They cry “Stop !" and seize my plaidie.
“ You’ve not paid I” In my pocket I feel,
But I gave my purse to my Beautiful Lady,
And I‘m walked off by a sergent do ville.

. I’ve oft been since in that garden shady,

i To see her once more I do so long! .

Yet I've never set eyes on my Beautiful Lady, .1:
'l Not on my purse, nor my l’aryent.

[Emit LAumusm 11.

[Enter 0. Wedding Guests, Bridesmaids, than OLINBKA, the” LAURINSKI.

CHORUS.
(Air by Lia Delibu.)

We are the wedding belles
Here with the wedding swells,
'Tis evident no one
Can ignore us.
\Ve walk in side by side
To greet the blushing bride,
" And we when that is done
' Sing a chorus.

‘ [Enter OLINSXA, Lu. and ZEMILO.

1 There’s usually a chorus on the stage,
j Tre-la-la, we’ll empty goblets quaff,
E In drinking to the county’s better half.

Laurimki (re-entering R. H. quite cheeiful, to OLINSKA.)

‘. You’re so good,
That I could
J \Vith delight
% Get quite tight.

1
l
1
1
i
l
I Tra-la-la, at a mar—ri-age . 1
i

Olinslca. 0 Pa ! don't!

Laurimki. No, I won't,

1 Till tonight,

1 Then I might.
Olinska and } Then you might !

Laurimki. Then I might I
Laurinski. You have obliged me, so well you've behaved,
For by your wedding your Pa you'll have saved.
Olinska. Can I forget my adored Casimir? .
Laurinski. That is a question the Count mustn’t hear.

‘ CHORUS.—We are, &c., as before.

 
49

Laurimki. This is a happy day, a charming day,
Then I am going to give the bride away.

Olinska. Give me away? You’re selling me, papa,

You needn’t say you’re not, I know you are.
Lam‘inski. \Vell, it’s done every day, six out of seven,

Good matches, daughter, are not made in Heaven.
Ohm/ca. That's not the place for matches. Never mind,

I’ll sign the contract, and I'll be re-signed.
Lanrinski. Bless you, my child I And now I’m free from care.

(To himself) Laurinski, my old man Iyou'll be all there 1
Soon in the marriage noose she’ll have her neck fast.

Z5 MUD. (Ofiering refreshment.) Take something, miss ?

Oliml. a. Not till the wedding breakfast
I feel that in my mouth it would be idle
To place a single bit Without the bridal.

L'Iurinski. That won’t apply to everyone.

All. Oh, no.

Lam'imki. You d like a little——

All. Yes I

Olinska. You would? Then go
And get it.

Laurimki. So we will at once, my dear,
And then return to sign the contract here.
This way. (The guests gaunt.)

Olinska! That I mayn’t dlBlI‘HSS you
Too much, .I pause to murmur “ Bless you ! bless you I”

(Bursts into tears and exit)

Ohm/ca. Alone ! But what to do ? Ah ! I’ve a. notion,
Like Juliet—I will—I’ll drink a potion
As it‘ it were the nectarest 0E nectars.
But first I’ll have a mad scene—I’ll see spectres !
Ghosts, white and flitting, here and there, like gulls7
Skeletons, rowing boats with their own skulls,
Ancestral phantoms, coming up by dozens,
Nephews and nieces, uncles, aunts, and cousins !
Then when I feel that I’m becoming weak,
]’ll stagger back, give one shrill, piercing shriek,
And utterly regardless of my head,
Leap like a harlequin across the bed.
But first—the poison—where ?~—good gracious me!
Where can that idiotic poison be?
And I have got no dagger I can trust.
(To audience.) Grant me your kind indulgence, for I must
Postpone my dying sine die.
[Flourish of trumpets. Enter Paget. Tiny place
table for contract, dis. .

[Enter DROLINSKO L. H., followed by ZizMiLo and
AGATHO, and a waiting-maid. ZEMILO and maid
cross to R. H.

Droiinsko. ' Miss,

Count Premislas is coming. ,
Olinska (diatractedly). What’s all this?
Drolinsko. To sign the contract. Very great event.
Olinska (to herself). To—day’s the sign-y die that I meant.

 
 

l

50

[Flourish Enter erralds, carrying long tumpets
like those used in “Aida.” Then enter Count,
magnificently dressed. Whenever he attempts to
speak the trumpets play louder, their fanfal-s
never quite ceases, and is taken up by the drums
also. Whenever it seems to be coming to a con—
clusion PREMISLAS makes another attempt.

Premislas. Here I stop those blow‘holes. Hi! shut up, you comets!
I’ve got into a perfeor nest of hornets.
Take that (gives purse) and go, it is a. sum untold,
(Aside) Money 1 made myself, as good as gold.

(Exeunt Heralds and Pages, all except ZEMILO .

You’re in your bridal dress, with orange blossoms;
VVOS ‘nm a pretty little creetur’ wos 'ums ?
Olinska. Don’t be ridiculous—before the boy.
Premislas. Forgive Hie—«didn’t mean, dear, to annoy,—
Olénska (wearlly). Oh, I forgive you! Here (to ZEMILO) do take this
thing. (Gives veil to ZEMILO, and sinks into chair R.)

[The whole sceneis in imitation of ill. Damala and Jana
Hading in “ Le illattre de Forges.”

I hate the sight of it. Away I fling
The odious flowers. (Throws down bouquet.)
Take them.

Zemilo. Where ?
Olinska. Hence. Hence !
Premislas. They were my gift, love—think of the expense.
Zemilo (aside to waiting maid).

They’ll do for your complexion, which is pale.

As mistress marries, you can take the veil.

[ZEMILO gives veil to waiting—maid, and exit with
maid, R. H.]

Premislas. But what’s expense, where you’re concerned, to me ‘3
The merest bagatelle of £. s. d.
For Why ? I love you, ’Linska! Yes, by George,
“Je vous aime tant ! ” comme dit “le Mailre de Forges."
I‘ll do, my own, whatever you desire,
If you don’t want me here, I will retire ;
One word of love from you works such great charms,
That I could crush you in my mighty arms.

 

Olinska. But don’t.
Pramislas. I won’t. I really won’t! (Bestraim himself.)
I swear!
I’m Dam (she shudders).

I'm Damuls.

Olimka. And I am Claire!
Jane Hading with her look of wild despeir.
Premislas. Once let me fold y0u in my fond embrace.
(Folds her; she breaks away from him.)
Olimka. Away 1 Away! or I will scratch your face.
Don’t touch rue—don‘t come near me.
Premislas. Shrinks and cowers!

A happy life is likely to he ours.

Yet (makes at and seizes her) when I see your {soc—Ah!
do I guess»

Your meaning rightly ?

 

 
bl

Olinska (cowering). Guess again.
Premislac (violently). Yes! Yes !
I see it all i You love——still love that loafer!
And l—hal ha! ha ! ha l (staggers back). Here ! Where's
the sofa?
Olimka. Behind you.
Pry-amides. Thanks. (Sinks on it hysterically.)
That she ior whom I care
Should thus deceive me ! 0, ma mere! ma mere !
Olinska. But why ma mere .’
Premislat. In French it has such force.
I’ll go on with ma mére until I’m hoarse.
.I see it all.

(Struggles, overcomes his emotion, and starts up manfully.)

Enough! I’m fairly caught.
And as I see it tall, I 11 cut it short.
Olinska. My father! Silence I
Premislas. \Ve’ll play out the farce.
(Aside). As I have said, my pa-in-law’s a bass.

[Enter LAURINSKI,Wedding Guests, and NOTARY, them
CASIMIR, ABDER KHAN, ONEIZA, all disguised.

Lazzrinski. Billing'and cooing, eh?
Premislas. Walk in! Walk in l
Abder Khan. All ready! Just a goin’ to begin.

[CASIMIR, disguised, stands observantly c.

Laurinski. Now sign the contract.
Olinska. Who are these, papa ?
Lam-insist". The Tartar Acrobatic Troupe.

A bder K/zcm, )
Oneiza, cfic. ) We are !

Oneiza. Yes, miss ; we’ve come here to amuse the folk.

Laurinski. Now, then. (lilotz'oning all up to table.) '

Olirnslca (with her eyes fixed on CASIMIR). That form !

Casimir. , Olinska l

Ol'izsl‘a startled). ' . Ha! Who s oke?

arms as

   
  
   

 

Princess, I think some time ago you knew , 2
One Casiinir. He was so fond of you. X”;
Olinska. You know" . " Z \
Casimir, _ “WWW. [£1 5

 
i;

W
i/a»? W 424, rmw Mdad!

Olinska. If Casimir you see,
Give him this trifling message, air from me.
Tell him I’d rather share the lowliest lot
And take two-thirds of everything he's got,
Than do what I don’t like.
Casimir (vogfully, aside). 0 am I mad 1
Ohm/ca.

WW

Premislas. Biisiness with pleasure we must now eombiv 1e

1 Sense me Olinska, will you come and Sign ?
Wins/1:01. I 111 ready

Casimir (to hea) M Casimir.

p ' .. ..‘ .1 .,.. ‘..' >.. 1 .5 ,1 9 '

 

J’a'emz‘slas'ao him). Wyou understand,
Jilly-as I destroy yourbfllfl—aa-d notes of hand.

 

/
(Tears them up.)
Olinska. ’Tis done.
(Staggers, and 28 suppm ted by DROLINSKO and ONEXZA L. H.)
Laurinski. Homay. '
Premislas. Now, Witnesses !
Casimz'r (waking up). Who calls. 9
I come ! (Rushes to table and seizes contvact.)
Where are we now? (Tears it up)
In “ Tcarer a Halls. "
A ll. Casimir I
Casimz‘r. I was Casimir.
Olins/m (frantically). You are
Casimzfi. Mazeppa King of Tartary!

A bder Khan, Oneiza, (fi Casi1ni1.Ha1 ha !

[TABLEAU.——-OLIN8KAfainta in his own".

Laurinski. Thl/J you’re our pris’ner.

Premislas. Seize him, some onol Hi I
And take that girl away.

Casimir. You’d better try.

 

 

 
 

53

A1R.—“ Christmas Tree.”

(Used by permission of Miss Richards, the American vocalist.)

Casimir. I was Casimir, but now I’m Ma-

Zeppa, King of Tartaree.

Olinsha. Oh, I am yours, whatever they say,

Zeppa, King of Tartaree.

Laurinslci. You’re in my power, whatever you do,

Zeppa, King of Tartaree.

Premislas. I’ll sharpen my sword, and I’ll run you through,

Zeppa, King of Tartaree.

Casimir (beating down Premislas’ sword).

Oh, would you tho” ?
Oh, would you, tho’?
Don’t try it on with me !

Abder Khan (beating down Laurinshi’s).

Oh, would you tho’ ?
0h, would you tho” ?
Well beaten you will be.

Premislas a’r; Lanr.He has a wrist of iron,

Premislas.

All (fighting).

And fights so pluckilee!

But when he isn’t looking

Then the goose I will be cooking
Of the King of Tartaree.

Oh, would you, tho’?
Oh, would you, tho’?
Don’t try it on with me!
Oh, would you, tho’?
Oh, would you, tho’P
Well beaten you will be!
We all have wrists of iron,
We all fight pluckilee.
We meet as foes,
(And we oppose
I You can’t oppose
The King of Tartaree.

[Galop CASIMIR strikes down PREMISLAs, and exit 0.,

with OLlNSKA. ONEIZA L. H., armed, engages DRO-
LINSKO, and they fight of L. H. THAMAR L. and
ZEMBLA R. engage ZEMILO and AGATHO, who are
beaten and driven of L. H. and R. H. RUDZOLOFF C.
brings in helmet, sword, and shield for PREMISLAS.
PREMISLAS goes through pantomime of vowing ven—
geance, hissing sword, GET; ABDER KHAN appears 0.
armed, and prepares to engage PREMISLAs, who emit
hurriedly IL, with ABDER KHAN after him, a: scene
changes to

SCENE II.~—C’ourtgard of Laurinski Castle.

[Polish troops discovered defending the Castle against the Tartan.
PREMISLAS enters dragging in 0L1NSKAfainling.]

Premislas.

\‘

I’ve got you now. My carriage is outside.

 
Olinska. Mazeppa ! Help!
Premislas (seizing her). Nay, thus I claim my bride.

[Enter CASIMIR, followed by horse

Casimir. Drop that young lady, or your fate is sealed.
Premislas. The old guard dies, but he will never yield.

[CASIMIR attacks PREMISLAS. OLINSKA quits him. PREMISLAS beats
down MAZEPPA, and seizes OLINSKA, and is trying to lift her
onto the horse, which is very restive, when he is attacked by
ABDER KHAN. RUDZOLOFF enters and attacks ABDER KHAN.
MAZEPPA attacks RUDZOLOFF, who falls as LAURINSKI rushes at
MAZEPPA and is held back by OLINSKA. PREMISLAS falls—
crash——he disappears in the rains. TABLEAU.—CASIMIR and
OLINSKA c, on steps. Tartar troops victorious.

Casimir. The victory’s won by Tartar sword and spear !
Laarinski. VVe’re beaten.
Casimir. Where’s Premislas ?
Premislas (coming out of rain of castle, helmet battered in, and sword
broken). I’m here 1
All’s lost, save honour—and a pack of cards.
And so I’ll cut it. [Going B. H.
Abder Khan (R. IL, stopping him). No, you don’t. Ho ! Guards !
[Four guards come down.
Premislas. Four to one. Taken. [They seize him.
Abder Khan. Done ! T0 grieve is idle.
Casimir. Farewell, my steed ! (Turning to OLINSKA.)
Now for our reign and bridal !
Laurinski. Take her! Be happy ! Oh, my eyes are wartery !
Olinska. Casimir !

Catimir. No l Mazeppa, King of Tartary !

FINALE.
Am—“ The Foreign Count."—-Meyer Late.

Premislas. I am a Count, 3. Polish Count,
Laurinski.‘ But I’ve been very lucky.
Olinska. You’ve- lost you coin, a large amount,
Premislas. And I’ve lost you, my ducky ! I
Caaimir. But I will mount—yes, I will mount
Upon my faithful stepper !
I hope they’ll cheer the wild career
Of Casimir Mazeppa 1

ALL.
AIR—“ What cheer, ’Ria ? "

We’ll cheer ’Zeppa !
’Zeppa on a cob,
Etc, etc.

TABLEAU.

CU RTAIN.

 
(SUBSTITUTED'FOR THE OTHER SPEECH AND SONG.)

Can'mir.

’ MAZEPPA, ACT II.

Oh, I’ve had such an eighteenpenn’orth ! Oh !
I wished I had a steed “ what wouldn’t go I "
He galloped through the country in a jiff !
How he did go it! My! and ain’t I stiff!
Rather. No matter. Now resume I can
“The attitude of freedom and of man! "

SONG.
(Air by Meyer Lutz.)

You’ve heard of the tale of Mazeppa’s horse,
Yes, of course;
Such a course!

You saw me tied to the steed by force ;

And did you see him go ?

When I was bound, not free,

I felt him bound with me.
He didn’t care
For my despair,

And didn’t attend to my cry of “ was "I

He galloped along at a thund’ring rate,
Which I hate,
I beg to state.
He jumped right over a five-barred gate,
And landed in a lane.
I tried to twist his tail ;
It was of no avail,
Then sought to check
Him by the neck,
With all my might and all the mane.

And now we come to a post and rails ;
Never quails,
Never fails ;

Over the lot he lightly sails.

He is a gem of gems 1

Before I‘ve time to look,

He clears a biggish brook.
He’s equal to
A filter new ;

Perhaps he’d clear the dirty Thames.

 
fl

He flies away, as it seems, through space;
Such a pace
For a race 1
There’s not a danger he'doesn’t face,
And takes it in his stride.
Poetic and sublime,
He flies along like Time.
As I'm not free,
Touether we
Are representing Time and Tied.

Still urging along his Wild career,
Dear, 0 dear,
Very quewr.
Beginning to echo all over here,
The knots I now untie.
And down at last he goes
Upon his Roman nose,
And there’s the end,
\Vith “bellows to mend,"
The horse was done—and so am L