YALE UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY

THE LIBRARY OF THE
DIVINITY SCHOOL

^VHY I BELIEVE IN GOD

I. |§|HY I BELIEVE IN GOD
II. WHY I BELIEVE IN A PERSONAL GOD

S. S. SEWARD

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD

IN TWO PARTS

I. WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD
II. WHY I BELIEVE IN A PERSONAL GOD

BY S. S. SEWARD

NEW YORK:
NEW-CHURCH BOARD OF PUBLICATION
20 Cooper Union
1895

PREFACE.
This little pamphlet contains a true statement, so far as
it is proper to thrust one's personal history upon the public,
of the religious experience of the writer. It is printed be
cause it is believed to illustrate a profound truth with regard
to the spiritual attitude of men, a truth which, if made
known, will help others to understand the real difficulties
that stand in the way of faith. If men can be brought to
see that it is their opposition to the will of the Lord that
blinds their eyes to the thought of Him, they will know
where to apply the remedy.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
 £. 
Belief in God is one thing ; belief in a personal God
another. Belief in God is a general belief in a Divine Be
ing who created the universe and holds it in existence, but
does not attempt to define His attributes nor to accommo
date them to the apprehension of men. Belief in a personal
God surrounds the Divine Being with personal characteris
tics. It ascribes to Him personal relations with His creat
ures. Instead of removing Him far off, and regarding Him
as an invisible, intangible, incomprehensible, and formless
Something that fills all space and supplies all energy, it
brings Him to the level of men's thoughts, clothes Him
with human qualities, and makes Him an active factor in
the affairs of human life. The one contemplates Him as
an indefinable essence, "without body, parts, or passions;"

6 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
the other as a living entity, an ever-present, though invisible
power. The one looks upon God as a distant First-Cause ;
the other as a personal friend and constant companion. The
one ascribes to Him creative energy ; the other conserving
force. The one thinks of Him as setting the worlds in mo
tion and infusing into them a universal and inexhaustible
conatus or endeavor ; the other as inspiring the affections
and thoughts of men and exercising minute supervision over
mundane affairs. The one dwells chiefly on His creative
work ; the other on the Divine government, or Providence.
The one owns Him Maker ; the other Saviour. Between the
two conceptions there are innumerable shades of opinion,
ranging all the way from the most abstract idea of an inef
fable essence that pervades the universe, to the most implicit
trust in the man Christ Jesus as at once God and Man, the
Creator and Conservator of the universe.
Leaving out of sight for the time being all reference to
the personality of God, I purpose to show, in the first part
of this paper, why I believe in a God ; not for the purpose
of adding to the polemics of the subject, but in the hope
that what I have to say may remove the difficulties of some
and strengthen the faith of others.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 7
I. — WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
Truth is sometimes best seen from opposites. In order
that it may be more manifest why I believe in God, I pur
pose to set forth some of the reasons that have not influ
enced me.
I do not believe in God because such a belief was drilled
into me in childhood. It was drilled into me, and I cannot
be too thankful for it. After my tenth year when my mother
died, such instruction was confined chiefly to going to church
and Sunday school, and to family worship. Before that event,
though I have little recollection of particulars, I know that
religious instruction was faithfully given, because I can re
member long rides to church, home lessons when it was im
possible to go, and the habit of outspoken prayer on my
bended knees. For all this I cannot be too grateful. As I
look back upon it from the height of mature years, I feel that
precious seeds were implanted during that sensitive and im
pressible period, without which my chances of wandering
would have been greatly increased ; and I pity from my heart
those children who are allowed to grow up without this con
stant and matter-of-course recognition of the Lord in their
family life.

8 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
But powerful as this influence was upon my childish mind,
and potent as it has been for good in my later years, my
faith in the being of God rests upon a deeper foundation
than the habits of thought formed during that tender and
far-away period of my life. I recognize their value. I look
upon them as more or less essential to future belief. But I
am not satisfied with a faith that rests upon the unquestion
ing belief of infancy and childhood. Such a faith is not
genuine. It may easily degenerate into bigotry. Mine, I
trust, is built upon a broader foundation — one more suited
to the "full measure of a man."
Nor, again, do I believe in the existence of a God merely
upon authority — the authority of parents and teachers, of
the church, or of the general consent of mankind. I grant
that such authority is not without value. The simple faith
of the past is a factor that cannot be overlooked. The com
mon consent of men to a belief in a Being whom they have
never seen, and whose existence cannot be demonstrated to
the senses, is a majestic truth in the presence of which every
person should bow with reverence. It is a truth that cannot
be gainsaid. It is a truth of convincing power. It is one
that I have no disposition to belittle.
But if I profess a belief in God merely because other peo-

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 9
pie accept Him, it is not really my belief. It is not genuine
belief. It is a kind of superstition or persuasion. I grant
its helpful influence, but if I have no better basis for my
faith, I shall at least cease to urge it upon others. What
ever may have been the case in the past, the day has gone
by when men should accept their belief in God upon mere
authority. If the Church can put forth no better claim to
the allegiance of men than her allegiance to other men, her
case is too weak to stand the tests to which it is being
subjected at the present day.
Nor do I believe in God because my reason teaches me
that there is a God. I believe the existence of God can be
rationally demonstrated to all who are willing to be convinced.
I believe that the argument from design in nature is sound,
though it cannot be appealed to as a finality. I believe that
all the genuine truths of religion are capable of rational ex
planation, and that the Lord does not require His children to
believe with the heart what they cannot understand with the
head. But I do not acknowledge any of the claims of re
ligion merely because they appeal to my reason. I never
sat down and tried to reason myself into a belief in God.
If I should do so, I believe the effort would prove a fail
ure. "The secret of the Lord is," as the Psalmist says,

IO WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
"with them that fear Him." No man can "by searching
find out God."
Nor, finally, do I believe in God upon the mere assertion,
I say it reverently, of the Scriptures. I believe the Bible
is the Word of God. I believe it is a Divine Book. I be
lieve it is inspired as to every word and letter. I believe
that as to its vital truths it is untainted by the media of
human minds through whom it was given. I believe it is
the rule of life for angels and men. I believe it is the " true
light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world."
I believe that without it the conservation of the race would
be an impossibility.
But I do not base my faith in God upon the Bible as a
mere authoritative statement, nor can I ask others to do so.
It is time the misunderstanding upon this subject should be
cleared away. People talk of believing a statement because
the Bible teaches it, as if the authoritative teaching was what
they rested upon. They use the expression, " The Bible says
so," as if that settled all dispute. Their speech is not such
as it sounds. They do not mean that they believe because
the Bible says so, but because they believe the Bible ; not be
cause they take it upon authority, but because it is authority.
Such being the case it is foolish to quote the Bible to others

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. I I
as if it were authority to them also — as if its mere declara
tions were sufficient to convince them, without any previous
perception of its real nature and claims. It is asking others
to believe more than we do ourselves. It is demanding of
them an allegiance that we do not ourselves yield. It is re
quiring more than the Bible itself requires. The God I be
lieve in, if I may use the term with reverence, is a reasonable
God and a loving Father. He does not ask a blind alle
giance of His children. He would not be satisfied with such
an allegiance if granted. He demands more, and it would
be derogatory to the freedom and rationality with which He
has endowed men, not to give Him more. And what is true
of Him must be true of His written Word. He does not
expect men to accept it upon authority, and I have far too
great reverence for Him and for it to take it in such a blind
and slavish manner.
But why, then, it may be asked, do I believe in God ? If
I do not accept Him because I learned to do so at my
mother's knee, nor because of the common consent of man
kind, nor of the authority of the church ; if I do not base
my belief upon the conclusions of my reason, nor upon the
testimony of the Word, upon what do I rest ?
I answer that I believe in God because I need a God to

12 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
believe in ; because my heart craves something outside of
and above itself upon which I can lean ; because as a senti
ent being I can no more live without a sense of His all-com
passing and supporting love, than I can breathe and move as
a physical man without the many-sided and equal pressure of
the atmosphere. I believe in God because I am finite, and
need an infinite Arm to rest upon ; because I stand a mere
atom amid surrounding influences, the coming and going of
which I cannot control. I believe in God because, unless
there is a mighty and beneficent power in which I can put
my trust, I am miserable. I believe in God because I am
weak ; because I cannot take care of myself ; because if my
safety depends upon my own exertions my situation is hope
less. I believe in God because I am ignorant ; because I do
not know what is for my highest good ; because if I did
know, I could not understand the best means of providing
for it ; because I do not dare to be left to my own devices,
and need Him to point out the way and to lead me in it. I
believe in God because I am aware that I am evil ; because
apart from Him every impulse of my nature is selfish, and
because I have no more power within me to lift myself above
myself than evil has power to cast out evil, or darkness to
overcome darkness. I believe in God because the love from

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 13
which He created me is reflected in the nature which He
has stamped upon me, and because it is constantly seeking
reunion with the Source from whence it sprang. I believe
in God because I love the thought of God — of His exist
ence, His goodness, His power, His providence, His protec
tion ; because, take the thought of God away, and it seems
to me I have nothing tangible to rest upon ; because I must
have a God or lose my hold upon life and happiness. If
I were sufficient unto myself it would be different. I can
imagine in that case that I should resist the idea of God,
especially of a great God over all the earth. But being as
I am, finite and weak, not able to see a step in advance, and
dependent for existence upon a thousand contingencies be
yond my control, the thought of God is like " the shadow of
a great rock in a weary land " to my soul. I believe in God,
therefore, not because I must, but because I will ; not be
cause my reason compels it, but because my heart demands
it ; because the deeper part of my nature requires such a
belief, and because without it life would not be to me worth
living. It will be seen from this view of the subject that my be
lief in God is not merely intellectual. On the contrary it is
more a belief of the heart than of the head. And this I

14 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
maintain is always the case, both with our belief and our un
belief. Those who believe in God believe with their hearts ;
those who deny, deny with their hearts. In other words our
faith in God is not dependent upon our intellectual powers
or mental acumen, but upon our willingness to believe ; not
upon the keenness of our mental vision, but upon the depth
and sincerity of our desire to see God. This proposition is
self-evident. Men do not deny God merely because their
mental powers are too weak or too limited to grasp the fact
of His existence. If this were so, infidelity would be con
fined almost exclusively to men of small mental calibre.
But the fact is notorious that the strongest and most culti
vated minds are most susceptible to this disease, and that
simple-minded men are most free from it. It is a disease of
the cerebellum, not of the cerebrum. The inspired Psalmist
diagnoses the case correctly when he says, " The fool hath
said," not in his head, but " in his heart, There is no God."
And the reason is evident. It is because, contrary as it may
seem to the appearance, the will is the higher and governing
faculty in the human mind, and inevitably leads and draws
the understanding to favor its side of whatever question is
presented to it. It is the heart, and not the brain,
That to the highest doth attain.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. I 5
It is true the will operates as it were in secret. It is true
its operations are not perceived until they take form in the
understanding, and that then they seem to be the operations
of the understanding and not of the will. But this is the
appearance. As a matter of fact the will leads and governs
the understanding in all things, though the man may not be
conscious of the fact until his attention is called to it. If
therefore we wish to discover the true ground of faith in
God, or the real root of infidelity, we must dissect the heart
of man, instead of rummaging amid the convolutions of his
brain. I believe in God, therefore, not because I am intel
lectually convinced of His existence, but because " my heart
and my flesh crieth out for the living God;" because I can
not be satisfied to believe in myself, and not in Him ; be
cause I desire to be guided by His wisdom, and not by my
own short-sighted vison ; because I wish to be governed by
His universal laws, and not by my own narrow conceptions
of right and wrong ; not because my feelings on the subject
are clearly defined — much less because I take credit to my
self on account of them — but because of a growing sense
of my own incompleteness, and an increasing desire to find
other foundation than my own sufficiency to build upon.
But it must not be supposed from this that my belief in

1 6 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
God is a mere superstition — a blind faith handed down by my
fathers, or born of selfish fear of eternal punishment, or a
still more selfish hope of eternal reward. On the contrary,
though my heart yearns after God, I do not accept one truth
concerning Him unless it appeals to my reason. The truth
in this respect may be briefly stated. On the one hand no
man believes in God because his unaided reason compels him
to do so, either without volition or against it. He does not
believe without volition, because without that he would not-
even take the trouble to think about it. He does not believe
against his volition, because, as a certain homely couplet
puts it, — A man convinced against his will,
Is of the same opinion still.
Nor on the other hand does he believe because he desires
to do so without the cooperation of the reason. The fact
that my whole soul yearns after God does not take away
my rationality. On the contrary it adds to its activity and
keenness. If I am not willing to believe, or if I do not
earnestly desire it, or even if I am wholly indifferent to it,
nothing will convince me. A willingness to believe opens
the mind's eye to a perception of the truth, as a desire to

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 1 7
see opens the natural eye to a perception of the light. An
unwillingness to believe, or even an indifference to it, closes
the mental eye, as an unwillingness to see closes the natural
eye. If, therefore, I do not sincerely desire to believe in God,
there is no evidence in nature or revelation that can convince
me. Not because such evidence is lacking ; not because God
could not flash conviction upon the most obdurate unbeliever
if He chose ; but because He will not ; because to do so
would be to override man's free will; because such a belief
would not be genuine ; and because from the foundation of
the world to the present day, the Lord never made such a
display of His almighty power as to overawe the freedom
and rationality of man for an instant ; no, not even for the
purpose of revealing His infinite love to our blinded percep
tions. I believe, therefore, primarily because my heart demands
it, but not without the consent and confirmation of my
reason. Searching for God with all my heart, I do not fail
to find Him wherever I look. I do not accept the doctrine
of His existence upon the authority of others, the experi
ence of my own life, the deductions of reason, or even the
testimony of the Word ; but settling it in my heart that I
need a God in order to save me from myself, history and

10 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
experience, reason and revelation, all unite to prove to me
that He is, and not only that He is, but that He is all, and
more than all, that I can desire.
In order to see this truth more clearly let us make a prac
tical test of it. Let us apply it to the various sources of
testimony that have been alluded to. Let us first interro
gate the Sacred Scriptures. With humble, reverent, and
eager heart I open their sacred pages and ask what light
they can shed upon this problem. I do not go to them with
a blind, unreasoning faith, but a sincere desire to be taught.
And what answer do I obtain ? From the beginning to the
end I find that the existence of God is taken for granted.
This I accept being willing to accept it, and because it ap
pears to me that it must be true. In the next place I find
the immanence of God implied. He created the universe.
He maintains it in existence. He exercises a constant su
pervision over it. He controls the affairs of men, and orders
all the events of their lives. This also I accept, because it
affords me just such an overruling power to rest in and
depend upon as my own helplessness makes desirable and
essential. As I continue my quest, I find not only that there
is a God and that He governs mundane affairs, but that He
is ¦ a good God and a loving Father. This also appeals to

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 1 9
me as true, because it pictures the Divine Being in just such
warm and living colors as the human soul yearns to see. It
is true the Sacred Record is not without its difficulties. It
is true there are many seeming discrepancies and apparent
contradictions in its pages. Sometimes the face even of the
all-merciful One seems to be turned away from His erring
creatures. But as I read, not unmindful of the imperfec
tions of my own mental sight, I recognize more and more
clearly that "this is my infirmity," and that all the disabili
ties and sufferings that men endure, and all the apparent
flaws in the Word of the Lord, are not due to any failure in
the Divine wisdom, goodness, or power. Especially do these
difficulties disappear when I study the Word in the light of
sound doctrine. Under the powerful lens of a true and ex
alted idea of the Divine character, the so-called wrath of
God is seen to be but a misapprehension of His love. The
punishments attributed to Him are but the reaction of His
necessary laws, and are always overruled in such a manner -
as to produce the highest possible good. The more I study
the Word in its own light the more clearly does it reflect the
goodness and mercy, the wisdom and power, of the One God
of heaven and earth, and the more fully does it satisfy the
deepest and holiest desires of my nature ; until at last, like

20 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
John in Apocalyptic vision, the Lord stands clearly revealed
before my astonished gaze, and I fall at His feet as " dead."
My own feeble life is swallowed up in His.
When I turn from the Word and interrogate my reason,
the answer is not less unequivocal. Being willing to believe
in a God and finding it necessary to my happiness, I find
that I can account for nothing of all that I see around me
(except man's evils), on any other supposition than His ex
istence and goodness. I see that this wonderful house in
which we live could not be built by any other hand ; that
the marvellous and abundant universe by which we are sur
rounded could not be provided except by Infinite love united
with Infinite wisdom and power ; and that the perfect order
that is visible throughout nature is due to a supreme Intelli
gence of which it is the image and likeness. I see that if
there is anything out of relation and harmony in the world
around me, it must be due to the imperfections of human
nature. I do not accept the evidence of design in nature
because it is convincing to my understanding against the
desires of my heart, but because it confirms and strengthens
the conclusions to which my heart leads, and in this way
both heart and head are satisfied. All nature, otherwise
silent, responds to the harmony which I find within.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 21
In this way also I find an explanation of the common
consent of mankind. I find that the faith of the past — the
belief that sustained the heroes and martyrs of the Church
in all their fiery trials, and maintained the sweetness and
trust of myriads of more humble believers — is an illustra
tion of my own deepest intuitions. I find that the almost
universal belief of men in all ages is not an illusion, but is
founded upon the universal law of the insufficiency of man
and the all-sufficiency of God ; and I gladly enroll myself
among the number of those who cease not day nor night in
giving thanks to Him that sitteth on the throne, and before
whom all nations are bowed.
In this way, finally, I find a solution of the experiences of
my inner life. I learn that the lessons taught me in my
childhood were not idle tales ; that the simple faith that led
me to pray even for the childish things that I desired, was
founded upon an idea of the Fatherhood of God, not un
becoming to the full-grown man, and that even now, amid the
trials and perplexities of mature years, I can put my hand in
His and trust to His guidance as implicitly as in the days of
my innocence and ignorance. In this way it happens that in
whatever direction I turn, I„find an answer to the deepest
questionings of my nature. Willing to believe in a God

22 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
because I do not and cannot believe in myself, anxious and
eager to find Him in order that I may learn to love and to
do His will instead of my own, He stands clearly revealed
before me, not only in the written and unwritten Word, but
in the intuitions of my own mind and the concurrent witness
of the ages ; and the more I give myself up to the influence
of His Spirit and strive to do His will, the more clearly do
I behold Him and the more completely am I satisfied.
If I have succeeded in making myself understood, I have
laid bare the root and origin of unbelief and infidelity. This
malady is usually treated as a mental and not a moral disease.
Its victims are spoken of as passing through "mental
struggles " more or less severe, while the office of the affec
tions in deciding such questions is lost sight of. The trouble
is supposed to lie with the head and not the heart.
There is not a little excuse for such a mistake. Nothing
is more easy than to lose sight of the influence of the will
as contrasted with that of the understanding. The reason is
obvious. The will is interior to the understanding. It is so
interior that, as has been said, its operations are not known
until they take form in the understanding, and when they do
take such form, they seem to belong to the understanding
and not to the will. The consequence is, most men trace

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 23
their unbelief to the understanding and not to the will.
They suppose they do not believe because they cannot, not
because they will not. They persuade themselves that the
trouble lies with the evidence, not with their own disposi
tions. The reverse is the truth. In most cases unbelief is
traceable to the heart, not to the head. I do not mean to
say that all sceptics are dishonest. I grant that many sin
cere men find it difficult to accept the human interpretations
that are put forward as the truth of God ; and for such men
I confess the utmost sympathy. But it is possible to be
lieve in God without believing in all the dogmas that men
have invented about Him. The denial of false deductions
from the Word may do honor, if not too aggressive, both to
the head and the heart. But the denial of the existence of
God is a more serious matter. It involves not the under
standing only, but the will. It implies an indisposition to
believe that carries with it its own condemnation.
To sum up all in a word, the chief essential to a living
belief is a desire to believe. If a lamp does not burn freely,
it is not necessarily because the machinery is out of order,
but because the oil has run out. If our faith is weak and
flickering, it is not because the mind is too feeble to grasp
the problems of a simple belief, but because the heart does

24 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
not wish to believe. The trouble is our " hardness of heart."
If we wish to correct it we must set to work in the right
way. We must examine the motions of our hearts. We
must make sure that we are willing to believe, and not weary
ourselves with the vain effort to force our convictions against
our wishes. No man who desires to know God in order to
do His will has ever been left without evidence of His exist
ence. " Ye shall seek me and find me," the Lord says,
" when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jer.
xxix. 13.) II. — WHY I BELIEVE IN A PERSONAL GOD.
Having shown why I believe in God, I come now to the
more difficult problem, why I believe in a personal God.
I say more difficult problem, because many are willing to
admit the existence of an impersonal Divine, who recoil at
the idea of a personal God. Such a conception involves
personal relations and a personal responsibility they are not
prepared to acknowledge. But it is for this reason that I
believe in a personal God, and cannot be satisfied with 'any
thing less. To my mind an impersonal God who is far-off
and indefinite, of whom we cannot form an adequate concep
tion, and to whom we cannot look as to a loving Father and

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 2$
a personal Friend, is no God. As a matter of fact such a
conception of God is unthinkable. Man being human must
think humanly. The essential elements of humanity are
love and wisdom, or affection and thought. Having affection
and thought men can think of other beings having the same
attributes infinitely varied and modified, but they cannot
think of any beings without them. The moment they at
tempt to do so the thought is lost in conjecture, like the
sight of the eye when it rests upon nothing. Animals are
not human ; but we can think of them because they have
instinct and passion, corresponding to thought and affection
in man. Vegetables and minerals are not human ; but we
can think of them because they have form and substance,
which are related to each other like intellect and will in man.
But we cannot think of any being or object without these
attributes, or something analagous to them, because there is
nothing in which the thought terminates, and it is therefore
dissipated and lost.
In order to anticipate all question let me say that when I
declare my belief in a personal God, I mean none other than
the Lord God the Saviour Jesus Christ, whom I believe to
be Jehovah God, the Creator of the universe, come down on
earth by the assumption of a human nature, for the double

26 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
purpose of revealing Himself to men and of redeeming them
from the power of their enemies. But I do not believe in
Jesus as God on account of any peculiar experience I may
have had of His saving power. I believe that He is a
Saviour and my Saviour. I believe there is no other name
given under heaven whereby men may be saved. I believe
that He is my Saviour, not only from every particular evil
that is awakened in me and of which I may repent, but from
innumerable evils of which I am unconscious, and which
would carry me away as with a flood were it not for the re
straining influence of His redeeming power (Ps. xli. u). I
believe He saves all who trust in Him and as far as possi
ble do His will. I can point to crucial moments in my own
life when, in despair of self, I have felt such an unmistak
able sense of His sustaining influence and keeping power
that it was a source of deep regret when the causes of my
despair were removed and I returned again into my ordinary
states of life and thought. I believe there are many men
who have felt this sense of the Lord's life and presence
more frequently and deeply than I have clone, and who go in
the strength of it every day of their lives. No language
that I can command is adequate to express the faith I have
in the name of Jesus to " save His people from their sins."

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 27
I believe He met in His own person all the enemies of the
human race, and overcame them all. I believe He overcame
them, not merely in His own behalf, but in behalf of all His
children ; and that He actually does overcome them in the
minds of all who' put their trust in Him and faithfully strive
to do His will. I believe, in other words, that the redemp
tion that the Lord wrought by His coming into the world
was an actual redemption from the power of the hells, and
that this redemption is available for every man of woman
born who may have faith in Him, of which the all-sufficient
proof is the earnest endeavor to do His will.
And yet I do not believe in Jesus as my God and Saviour
because of any special work He has done for me, but be
cause of my dependence on His saving power. However
much my faith may be confirmed and strengthened by the
experiences of my inner life, they were not the genesis of
my belief. It may be said that such mental states as I have
alluded to are the result of a strong mental persuasion ; that
in my distress I made myself believe that I was helped, and
I was helped ; and that the name of Jesus was only an idea
around which my aspirations centered. I can only say that
in my opinion such an explanation will not account for the
phenomenon, much less for the marvellous faith that has

28 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
sustained the Church in the past. Nevertheless, I do not
base my faith on this ground alone. Much less do I hold
it up as evidence to those who have never had any experi
ence of its influence in their own souls.
Nor do I base my belief in a personal God, and in the
Lord Jesus Christ as that God, upon the authenticity of the
Record. I believe the fact of the life and death of Jesus is
as well attested as any fact in history. It has stood the
test of exacting scrutiny for hundreds of years. If there
are those who question the evidence, there are others of
equal learning and acuteness who give it full credence. If
it were not for the extraordinary claims it makes upon our
belief, it would not be doubted for a moment. But for that
reason, it will be urged, its claims should not be too readily
granted. And for that reason, I reply, I do not rest my be
lief upon historical grounds alone. The question of the
Divinity or non-Divinity of Jesus Christ cannot be deter
mined upon documentary evidence. Such evidence is not
admissible in such a case. Even if it were admissible it
would not settle the dispute. We can no more prove the
Divinity of Jesus Christ by the authority of the documents,
than we can prove that two and two make four by the book.
Such evidence is not evidence. It is only a statement of a

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 29
fact. The truth is the only authority for the truth. The
fact is the only evidence of the fact. The Gospel story may
and does bear witness to the claims of Jesus, but the final
evidence of such a doctrine is the witness of the Spirit.
"Whatsoever is more than this cometh of evil." Jesus
Himself declares that He receives not testimony from man.
It is folly to forsake the living witness of the Spirit for
the merely cumulative evidence of the documents. While I
claim their authenticity and their competency as a confirma
tion of a truth already established, I cannot accept them as
original evidence, nor put them forward as in themselves
ground for a belief in Jesus Christ as the one God of heaven
and earth.
Nor do I rest my belief in the sole and supreme Divinity
of Jesus Christ upon His miracles. I believe all the mir
acles recorded in the Gospels were truly wrought by Him,
not excepting the last and greatest — His resurrection from
the dead and ascension into the heavens. Though I do not
believe that any of His miracles were a direct contravention
or even suspension of the laws of nature, but rather an in
stantaneous and more complete carrying out of such laws, I
do believe they were the result of the operation of super
natural forces, and that they bear indubitable evidence of
the Divinity of Him who performed them.

30 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
But I do not believe in Jesus on that account. Miraculous
faith is a dead faith. It is forced upon us from without, and
is not the outgrowth of new life springing up within. I do
not believe that the Lord Jesus ever intended that His
miracles should be appealed to as a basis of faith. If He
seemed to appeal to them, it was rather to the inner and
spiritual work they represented, than to the outward evi
dence they afforded. They were intended to deepen and
strengthen the faith of those who were already disposed to
believe, not to awaken a belief that did not previously exist.
This is evident from the circumstance that while a chosen
few believed in Him on account of the mighty works that
He had done, the vast majority even of those who were eye
witnesses continued to scoff and deny. Of such men De
Quincy wrote : " Their hatred of Christ was not built upon
their unbelief, but their unbelief in Christ was built upon
their hatred." It is a grievous mistake to hold forth the
miracles of the Lord as evidence of His claims. It is to
take an untenable ground, and to weaken the cause in behalf
of which it is put forth. The miracles of Jesus may testify
to His Divine character when that character is once ad
mitted, but they cannot establish it if denied ; nor would it
be productive of a genuine and living faith if they could.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 3 1
If, then, it be asked why I believe in a personal God if I
do not believe for any of the reasons that have been referred
to, I answer, for the same reason that I believe in God —
because it answers the deepest wants of my nature. I be
lieve in God, not because any one has proved Him to my
senses, not because my reason has been compelled against
my wishes to consent to the doctrine of His existence, not
because of the authority of the Church, nor even because I
was brought up to believe in Him ; but because, as I have
already stated, a belief in a higher power of some kind,
under the shadow of whose wings I may put my trust, is a
necessity of my being ; because I am finite, and must reach
out after the infinite ; because I am uncertain and must find
a certainty upon which I can rest ; because I am powerless
amid the mighty forces that flow and ebb around me, and
must feel out in my blindness and ignorance for that secret
but potent influence that holds all things in order. In other
words, I believe in a God, not because my intelligence as
sures me there is a God, much less because my mind is
forced against my will to accede to such a doctrine ; but
because I desire with my whole heart to believe in Him, and
because believing in Him from the heart I find abundant
warrant for such a belief wherever I look.

32 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
But a belief in an impersonal God, without any personal
attributes by means of which I can come into personal re
lations with Him, does not answer the requirements of my
nature. Such an idea of God is indefinite. It is vague and
formless. It is far off and intangible. It is not such an
idea as the mind can readily grasp. It does not respond
fully to the needs of the soul. It can no more call out the
deepest affections of our nature than the abstract idea of a
parent can awaken the instinct of filial affection in a child,
or the contemplation of the principle of government produce
the sentiment of loyalty in a citizen. It may be that with
most men the conception of God must be general and form
less in the beginning ; but unless it grows more and more
definite and personal it will sooner or later cease to be a
factor in their thoughts. This may be the reason that in
our day, when the whole trend of thought is toward either
the acknowledgment or denial of the Divinity of Jesus
Christ, and much more toward the denial than the acknowl
edgment, the belief in a Divine Being is gradually waning.
To deny the Divinity of Jesus Christ is to deny the exist
ence of a personal God, and to deny the existence of a per
sonal God is sooner or later to deny all idea of God what
ever — to sink from an indefinite and soulless theism into a
hopeless atheism.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 33
I am not satisfied therefore with a God who is merely an
infinite Something that my mind cannot clearly conceive
of. I am not satisfied even with a God who is a being of
infinite love and wisdom, if that love and wisdom is only
infinite ; that is, if it is so far above, out of my reach and
beyond my comprehension, that I can form only an abstract
and not a personal conception of it. I am not satisfied with
the " Bread of God " which is in heaven, much less that
which is above the heavens ; I need " the Bread of God
which cometh down from heaven and giveth life unto the
world." I am not satisfied with that conception of God
which supposes Him to have created the universe, to have
wound it up and set it in motion, and then to have left it to
run on and run down without His immediate supervision. I
need a God who is ever present and ever active in His own
creation. I am not content with a God who leaves me
alone. I need a God whose Providence upbears me every
moment of my life, without whom not a sparrow falls to the
ground, and by whom the hairs of my head are all numbered.
I need to feel that the misfortunes that overtake me are not
due to a blind fate, nor to unforeseen circumstances, but are
overruled by a loving Father for my highest good. I am
not satisfied with a God who is Divine only ; I need one

34 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
clothed with human attributes. I do not desire Him to be
an exalted or deified man, but God manifest in the flesh ;
not a man-God, but God-Man ; not a God who cannot be
touched with a feeling of my infirmities, but who knoweth
by His own experience what is in man. I need a personal,
and not an impersonal God, because an impersonal God with
out an appreciable form or substance cannot be thought of
or loved ; and because without such thought and affection
we cannot be one with Him, nor inherit eternal life from
Him. More than this. Since I am weak and finite, not
able in my own strength to contend against a single one of
the evils of my hereditary nature, I need a God who can go
before me and fight battles in my behalf, who can give me
the victory over my enemies, and to whom I can look as my
Redeemer and Saviour. Above all I need such a personal
God as this because it is only through such a God that I can
enjoy a resurrection from death unto life. An impersonal
God who is in some indefinable manner the abstract truth or
life that pervades the universe, leaves me alone to work out
my salvation as best I may. Such an idea of God rather
excites my self-life by leaving me to put it down in my own
strength, than allays its activity and power. I need a God
who is so near unto me that I can abdicate in His favor ; a

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 35
God whose infinite love and wisdom has been so finited in
my sight that I can understand its operation in my behalf ;
and to whom, therefore, I can give myself up, as a child to
a loving father, yet without losing my individuality or sur
rendering my freedom. I need a God, in short, who can
save me from myself ; the acknowledgment of whom as the
Source of goodness and truth is in itself a new inspiration
and a new life ; and this no God can be to me except One
with whom I can enter into personal relations and who is to
me a personal Saviour.
If I have made myself understood it will be seen that I
believe in a personal God for the same reason that I believe
in an impersonal one — primarily because my heart cries out
for Him, but not without the confirmation and consent of
my judgment. This superiority of the heart over the head
in matters of faith, is even more apparent with regard to our
belief in a personal God than in an impersonal one. A man
may believe in an impersonal God without necessarily com
ing into close relations with Him, or allowing his belief to
change the course of his life except imperceptibly. That
conception of God that makes Him only a nameless essence
or a formless power demands little or nothing more of us
than conformity to the laws of the universe in which we live.

36 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
It makes such conformity a matter of self-intelligence and
self-interest, rather than self-denial. It requires us to find
our own life, rather than to lose it. It knows nothing of
repentance and regeneration. It makes much of culture
and development. The word prayer is not found in its
vocabulary. The fatherhood of God is an idea foreign to
its thought. It is at bottom pantheistic. It is theosophy
instead of Christianity. It fails to differentiate God from
the universe He has created. It makes the universe, and
men as a part of the universe, a part of God. Instead of
requiring us to empty ourselves of self in order that the
Lord may fill us with His life, it demands the refinement
and sublimation of self until we are as it were absorbed into
God. It encourages self-exaltation rather than self-abnega
tion. It is comparatively easy to believe in such a God be
cause it is flattering rather than derogatory to our self-life.
But belief in a personal God has a different effect. It
brings us at once into a kind of judgment. No one can
believe in a personal God without coming into personal rela
tions with Him, and no one can come into personal relations
with Him without feeling that his will should be subordi
nated to the Divine will. But this is an admission that it is
impossible for us to make without the willing consent of the

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 37
heart, as well as the more or less reluctant recognition of
the head. Such an admission it is not easy for proud man
to make. It is not a matter of intellection, but of intention.
It involves the denial of self, as well as the acknowledgment
of God. It demands the laying down of our own life and the
reception of the Lord's life. It does not admit the slightest
approach to pantheism, but so separates men from God and
God from men as to make Him sovereign and them subject ;
though a Sovereign whose relations are more like those of a
father with his children than that of a king with his subjects.
The true reason, therefore, why men find it easy to accept
the general idea of God and difficult to believe in a personal
God, is the greater demand the latter makes on our con
science. The trouble is not with the testimony, but with
our disposition to accept it. If left to itself, unbiassed rea
son would teach us not only that there is a God, but that
He is a personal God; and this conclusion is fortified by
nature and revelation. If, therefore, we do not accept the
truth, the sin lies at our door. It is not because we cannot,
but because we will not. My belief in a personal God, and
in the Lord Jesus Christ as that God, is due chiefly to the
discovery I long since made that I needed such a God, and
that nothing less could save me from myself. I felt the ne-

38 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
cessity of a personal Saviour — One who stood over against
myself, to whom I could look up, and whom I could love and
obey. I had no distinct conviction where I should look for
Him. I had cast overboard, not in a critical spirit, most
of the dogmas prevalent in the world around me. I said
within myself, I will do the best I can, and I shall be taken
care of. In this state of mind I was providentially brought
into contact with that one and only Church in all Christen
dom that teaches the sole and supreme Divinity of Jesus
Christ ; and desiring as I did with my whole heart to be
lieve, I never had a doubt, so far as I could understand, from
that day to this ; while the more I have studied and pon
dered the subject, the more clearly He has revealed Himself
to my perceptions. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as
God because such a belief answers the deepest wants of my
nature. I believe in Him because any less real conception
would not satisfy my needs. I believe in Him because it is
only in Him that I find rest.

The blessed Jesus is my Lord, my love ;
He is my King ; from Him I would not move.
Hence, earthly charms ! Far, far from me depart,
Nor seek to draw from my dear Lord my heart.

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 39
That uncreated beauty, which has gained
My raptured heart, has all my glory stained ;
His loveliness my soul has prepossessed,
And left no room for any other guest.

Coming to the study of the subject in this spirit, I find no
controversy with the evidence. Going first, as in my search
for God, to the Sacred Scriptures as His own Divinely chosen
means of revealing Himself to men, and examining them, I
find the evidence of the personality of God as clear and un
mistakable' as that of His existence. I find that from the
beginning to the end of the Bible, the idea, not only of a
God, but of a personal God is everywhere set forth. His
coming as a man into the world is everywhere predicted. It
is first mentioned in the third chapter of Genesis in immedi
ate connection with the fall. It is repeated many times in
the_ Books of Moses, and is almost the sole theme of the
prophets. In the Gospels His Divine origin and character
are never lost sight of ; while in the Apocalypse it is Jesus
and Jesus alone who reveals Himself unto John, who points
out the varying character of the seven churches, who is seen
in the heavens seated on His throne surrounded by the four
and twenty elders, who opens the seals and carries on the

40 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
judgment, and who at the end declares Himself to be the
Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First
and the Last. And all the way through, from Genesis to
Revelation, He is spoken of as both Divine and Human ; as
the Creator of the universe, and yet governing in the affairs
of men ; as displaying the most sublime power, and yet sym
pathizing with human fears and hopes ; appearing at one
time amid the smoke and thunders of Sinai, and at another
filling an angel with His presence and speaking as a man
with his brother ; as " dwelling in the high and holy place,"
and yet with the man " of an humble and contrite heart ; "
as a Being of infinite love, wisdom, and power, .and yet
knowing our frame and remembering that we are dust ; as
God-Man, Jehovah-Jesus, " the Word," which was in the be
ginning "with God," and which "was God," "made Flesh,
and dwelling among us."
But the chief evidence, not only of the being but of the
personality of God, I find in the spiritual meaning of the
Word. I am aware that in appealing to this source of evi
dence I am calling in a witness not usually known among
men, nor held competent except by an inconsiderable num
ber. I put it forward not as adequate or admissible testi
mony to those who now meet it for the first time, but as a

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 4 1
source of evidence which I should be disloyal or disingen
uous not to acknowledge, and which others may consult if
they will. I cannot enter into an elaborate statement of
the spiritual meaning of the Word, nor even of its teach
ings regarding the being and nature of God. All this is
clearly revealed in the doctrines of the New- Jerusalem
Church, and to them I must refer any reader whose mind
is not at rest with regard to this central and vital doctrine
of religion. It will be sufficient for me to say that when
understood in the light of the spiritual meaning, the Word
of the Lord treats of nothing else in the highest sense but
of the Lord Jesus Christ, and of the means whereby He as
sumed a human nature and glorified it. This He Himself
taught, in the twenty-fourth chapter of Luke, when, "begin
ning at Moses and all the prophets, He expounded unto the
disciples in all the Scriptures the things concerning Himself,"
and said, " These are the words that I spake unto you while
I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled which
were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and
in the Psalms concerning Me." The thought that " the
high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity " could bow the
heavens and come down for the salvation of men, is a
stupendous one. But when we remember that, if the Lord

42 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
is infinite, He must be as infinite in His love and condescen
sion as in His majesty and power ; that if He could bow the
heavens and come down for the creation of the universe, He
could come down also for its salvation ; and when we re
member that the same infinite love that would prompt Him
to do the one would prompt Him to do the other, the wonder
is, not that He did come, but that any one could doubt it ;
while it is certain on the other hand that what infinite love
would indicate must be done, infinite wisdom would find am
ple means and power to accomplish. These means, so far as
our finite minds can grasp them, are now fully revealed. The
" many things " the Lord said He had to say to the disciples,
but which they could not then bear, are now fully explained.
If we really desire to see Him the testimony is complete.
Nor, regarded from this point of view, do the miracles of
the Lord Jesus suggest any mystery to my mind. On the
contrary they are a strong buttress to my faith. Put 'forward
as in themselves sufficient evidence of the Divinity of Jesus
Christ, I reject them. I reject them because they override
my reason and produce only a blind faith at best. But the
moment I recognize my need of a personal God, and admit
the necessity of His Divine interference in my behalf, the pos
sibility of their truth becomes apparent. I accept them, not

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 43
as proofs of His Divinity against my reason, but as confirma
tions of what my reason teaches me must be true. I accept
them, however, not as evidence of what I cannot understand,
but as outward signs of the inner work He came to do, and
is continually doing, in the minds and hearts of all who will
follow the leading of His Spirit. It is only when they are
seen as the natural effect of a spiritual work in the soul, that
we recognize their Divinity, and the Divinity of Him who
wrought them.
In this way also all question as to the authenticity of the
Gospel Record disappears. Though I do not accept anything
that the narrative states because it states it, I do accept it
because it is true. Believing not only that there is a God,
but that He is a personal God, and believing that having
created men out of His infinite love He must save them by
the same token, I have no hesitation in accepting either the
fact of His coming or the Record of it. On the contrary,
the more I read the Sacred Story in the light of all the evi
dence, the more clearly does its truth manifest itself to my
perceptions, until at last it shines as it were with its own
light, and the intrinsic evidence becomes so convincing that
I regard the historical proof as of little or no importance.
In this way, finally, I find an explanation of the spiritual

44 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
experiences through which I have passed. Believing as I do
that I need a Saviour, believing that the Lord Jesus Christ
is such a Saviour, and believing that His salvation is an
actual salvation — an actual conflict with my spiritual ene
mies and victory over them — I can readily understand that
the peace I have felt in my soul is not a delusion nor a
mental persuasion, but the result of an individual redemp
tion that the Lord has wrought in my behalf. I believe that
it is He who calms the troubled waters of my soul, as He
calmed the waves of Galilee. I believe that it is He who
heals the restlessness and passion of my heart, as He healed
the fever of Peter's wife's mother. I believe that it is He
who gives me all the spiritual vigor I possess, as He gave
new life to the withered hand stretched out at His com
mand. I believe that it is He who holds me in love and
faith and withholds me from evil, and not any independent
power of my own. I believe that it is through Him I have
victory over my spiritual foes, and that without Him I can
do nothing. I believe that He is " the Way, the Truth, and
the Life " unto me, and that through Him I am conqueror
and more than conqueror. I believe that in His name I shall
experience not only release from the power of sin, but a
sense of happiness and peace. And what I believe for my-

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD. 45
self I believe for all men. I believe that He has not only
come, but come again. I believe that He has not only taken
to Himself His great power, but now reigns in heaven and
on earth. I believe that when men shall cooperate with
Him by willing obedience to His commandments, His power
will be manifest for their salvation, and the paradise in which
men were at first created will be again realized on earth.
If I have succeeded in making my meaning clear, it is
evident that belief in God is not a mere gift or accomplish
ment of the head, though the intellect must cooperate, but
a grace of the heart ; and that the true cause of unbelief is
indisposition to accept the idea of a God, and more especially
of a personal God. If therefore we find ourselves disposed
to be sceptical, our first care should be, not to search for evi
dence that shall convince us against our wills, but to make
sure in our hearts that we are willing to be convinced. It
is "with the heart " that men believe unto salvation, and not
with the head. " If any man will to do His will," it is
written, " he shall know of the doctrine." The fault with
men is that when doubt enters their minds they give it wel
come. They cherish it in their thoughts, and wait for it to
be driven out by extraneous evidence. It is not so that scien
tific men proceed in their search for scientific truth. If they

46 WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD.
stand in need of a solution of any problem, they begin with
the assumption that such a solution exists and can be found,
and in this affirmative state of mind they are not slow to
find it. So if men sincerely desire to believe in a God —
and they cannot desire to believe in Him except for the sake
of doing His will — He will not leave them without a wit
ness of Himself. No man ever sought Him from a loyal
heart in vain. When the disciples "willingly received Him
into the ship, immediately they were at the land whither
they went." As soon as we admit with all the heart that
there is a God, He will reveal Himself to our understand
ings ; and though our minds may at first be holden so that
we shall recognize Him but dimly as He talks with us by the
way, our hearts will burn within us, and we shall at last
know Him in the breaking of bread — in the reception of
His life in our affections.