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THE NAST SERIES No. ^.-- ^f-

r

MISS COLUMBIA'S
Public School;

ROUSED AT LAST!

WILL IT BLOW OYER?
BY A. COSMOPOLITAN.

-WITH 73 ir,LTTSTB.A.TIO]SrS BY
th: O HN^/dl A. S I^^ST
ARTIST OF HARPER'S WEEKLY.

H-Rj^HrCIS B. FELT &; CO
1871.

:E»rloo ]F*ifty Oeixts.

THE ^AST SEEIES HO. 1.
THE FIGHT AT DAME EUEOPA'S SCHOOL
With 33 Original Illustrations on Tinted Paper
BY THOMAS NAST. !
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MISS COLUMBIA'S
Public School;

OB,

WILL IT BLOW OYER?
BY A. COSMOPOLITAN.
WITH 72 ILLUSTRATIONS BY

" It is only a matter of time.'— FATHER Hecker.
" Tlie American idea must give way, and with it whatever contradicts or does not
accord with the Catholic idea."— The Tablet.

itfa iork:
FR.A.N"CIS B. FELT &; CO.
1871.

Entered, according to act of Congress, in the year one thousand eight hundred and
seventy-one, by
FRANCIS B. FELT & CO.,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.

THEIR AIM.

MISS COLUMBIA'S SCHOOL.

ISS COLUMBIA
kept a large public
school, which included
every possible description of boy. All colors were rep
resented, all nationalities, all classes, and all sects.
It was,. as maybe imagined, a. somewhat difficult task
to preserve harmony among so many scholars of differ
ent characteristics, but as long as there was fair play
all round, and partiality shown to none. Miss Colum
bia managed to sustain her own institution firmly in
its original principles.

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

The foundation of our Republic.
The original plan of the school was to allow aU the
scholars the most perfect freedom, and to submit to them
for approval the rules by which they should be managed ;
thus making their govemment the will of the scholars.
As long as the majority of the boys were patriotic,
orderly, honest, and had the interest and honor of
the school at heart, this plan would work well ; but
as soon as corruption, treacheiy, dishonesty, and par
tiality crept in, a school conducted upon sueh principles
would be shaken to its very foundations, and, perhaps,
ultimately ruined.
There had been many httle tiffs in this school, as
in every other, but none of a serious character, until

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

THE FIRST LESSONS.

10

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL

a great "unpleasantness" arose between a JSTorthem
and a Southern boy, about a little colored boy, whom
the Southern boy claimed as his property — a claim
entirely inconsistent with the fundamental principle
on which the school was based, viz., that all the
scholars were born free and equal.
This disagreement about the colored boy had been
a threatening cloud from the time the school was first
organized ; but it was thought that, if left to time, it
would pass away of itself.

^3>r

" Take him, if you dare."

Instead of that, however, it grew and grew, and at
length assumed such vast proportions that a line had
to be drawn across the grounds, where the claims of

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

11

the Southern boy could, or could not, be recognized.
The disputes growing out of this distinction so em
bittered the feelings of the Northern and Southern
boys against each other, that at last their smoldering

Terrible blows.
passions broke out into terrible blows— such blows
that Miss Columbia herself was astonished at their
strength; and all Dame Europa's school lifted up

Our neutral friends.

12

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

their hands in virtuous horror, and exclaimed, " Oan
such things be?"
Our little cousin, Johnny Bull, was especially pleased
at the big fight, and kept saying to all the boys in
Dame Europa's school, " Didn't I told you so ?"
He jumped for joy when the fight began, and
would have turned a regular somersault, had he not
bethought himself that his island was smallf and he
might roll over into the water.

Neutral John,
Pie saw a good opportunity for lengthening ont the
fight, and turning a penny at the same time, by sup
plying the little Southern boy with implements of
warfare.

The invasion of Mexico.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

13

Then there was little Johnny Crapeau, too, who
thought he, also, might take advantage of the scrim
mage to help himself to some of Miss Columbia's
grounds, and extend the sway of the " Latin race."
So, in order to be ready at the right moment, he imported
some French frogs into Mexican territory, just south of
the school. But that ruse proved a failure ; most of the
frogs died, or were squelched out ; their leader was shot,
and the rest were forced to retm-n to Johnny Cra
peau all the worse for the wear.
Meantime the fighting continued so fiercely in Miss
Columbia's school as to sometimes endanger the life of
Miss Columbia herself; but the loyal Northern boys
always proved strong enough to protect her person.
The combat was protracted and bloody, and there
was no lack of courage on either side*; but, finally,
at the end of the fourth round, the Southern boy

*' Shake hands.'

threw up the sponge; and the result was that the
colored boy had rights which the white boy was bound
to respect.

li MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;
But Miss Columbia's duties now became more com
plicated than ever; for the bitter feeling engendered
by the late contest frequently exhibited itself, and was
hard to control, as is always the case in every school
after a rumpus.
There were here, as elsewhere, plenty of mean-spirited
little boys who, for malicious purposes of their own,
did their best to keep up the remembrance of the
fight and renew the disturbance.
It seemed best to Miss Columbia, as a punishment
to the Southern boy for his past misconduct, to put
him on his good behavior for the time being, by de
priving him of any voice whatever in school matters —
a privilege which she now bestowed upon the colored
boy. This plan she thought would have a salutary
effect upon the Southern boy, and bring him to a re
alizing sense of his past injustice ; but, on the con
trary, it seemed to irritate him all the more. To be
hold his former chattel elevated to authority over him
was more than his haughty spirit oould tolerate. It also
made him very sulky to see a portion of the Northern
boys, who had lately been fighting him, come and
plant themselves upon his own section, and try to
manipulate the colored boy with a single eye to their
own interests.
This imsettled state of things troubled Miss Colum
bia exceedingly, and she began to feel that it was

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

15

time to adopt a different com-se, as matters kept
growing worse instead of better. She thought that re
storing the Southern boy to his former power in the
school might have the desired effect, and bring about
the much-needed reconciliation. She was all the more
desirous of effecting a perfect union, in order to gain
strength against a common enemy, whose underhand
influence, she had begun to discover, was undermining
her great public school.
So one day, when the boys were all assembled, she
propounded her views to them,, and waited to hear
theirs.

Miss Columbia's appeal.
" Now, dear boys," she began, " I want the eamest

16 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;
attention of all of you. The constant disagreements
among you have for some time past occasioned me great
pain and anxiety; and I feel sure that, if such a state
of things continues, the prosperity and progress of the
school will be seriously retarded. Now, what do you
say to giving our little Southerner his former voice in
all school matters ? Let us bury the hatchet forever,
and let by-gones be by-gones. His fault was a very
serious one, and he has received a severe punishment;
but we are protected from any repetition of his past
folly by the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments of
our rules, which have been written down in letters of
blood, and can never be wiped out ; and woe be to
him who ever makes the rash attempt !"
Discordant sounds greeted these remarks ; and it
was evident that they were not received with unani
mous approval by the boys.
The head boy, who, during the fray, had been in
the very thickest of it, seemed the most willing to
adopt Miss Columbia's proposition ; but, seeing the
evident dissatisfaction around him, and having no more
voice than any of the other boys in the school rules,
he remained passive in his seat, although the words
"Let us have peace," seemed tb escape his lips invol
untarily. It was noticed that the boys who had kept their
own skins the soundest, and were farthest from the

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

17

*' Let us have peace.'

place where the blows were struck, were loudest in
their objections-r-particularly some who had gained for
themselves a reputation as reformers. They had kept
themselves prominently before the school for years, and
were among the first to agitate the doctrine of equal
rights to all colors; and as long as the cause for it
existed, no mortal could deny their sincerity or their
ability as its champions.
But that fatal love of notoriety which seems to get
the best of all our prominent small boys, and is,
perhaps, a limit set by Providence to human import
ance, in due time overtook our reformers. Since the
colored boy had been granted his just rights, they

18

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

THE CHAIRMAN OF THE HANGING COMMITTEE,

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 19
tried to stir up other agitations, such as the doctrine
of baby-suffrage, etc. But as boys are always awk
ward in handling babies, they never seemed to get the
hang of their new hobby, and it didn't " take " among
the school as the old one did; therefore, they were
only too ready, when the least occasion presented itself,
to go back to the old hobby, at which they had won
their early l9,urels.
Finally, the general dissatisfaction found voice, and
a Northern boy rose and said, "But look here. Miss
Columbia, that is all very nice about joining hands,
and forgetting the past; but how about these sneak
ing little skunks that call themselves the K. K. K.'s,
who pommel our boys, both white and colored, when
ever they get a chance? We can't submit to that,
and they don't deserve that we should ; no, ma'am I"
And a chorus of voices broke in here, saying,
" No ; they deserve hanging better !"
One voice, louder than the rest, was heard to say,
"Tes, yes, let's be afther hanging the n.agv/r, by all
manes." This voice emanated from a boy who had been uncom
monly active during a certain July scrimmage, still fresh
in the recollection of the whole school.
He was the most turbulent and unruly boy in the school,
and never understood any subject intelhgently ; but when
ever personal violence was threatened, he was ihere.

20

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

The uproar culminated here, and Miss Columbia called
out, " Silence !" several times before order was restored. It
took her longer than most school-mistresses to enforce her
commands, as each boy was impressed with a deep sense of
his own importance and responsibility in the affairs of
govemment, and each considered himself supreme ruler.

Calling; the school to order.
" Tut, tut, for shame !" she said ; "just consider what an
expense you would be at for rope, if you were to try and
hang all the corrupt law-breakers and treacherous law
makers among you Northern boys ! But hanging is not
to the point ; the rope's end will not be the end of our
troubles, and you cannot be too dainty ; for we see plenty
of outrages among the Tanimany tribe of Indians over
there, but who ever hears of hanging the wrong-doers ?
" ' Let us have peace ! ' as our head boy says, and let us
show malice to none and charity to all. It is true that

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

21

K. K. K.'s exist, in defiance of all the rules of the school,
but my hope is that, with a better mutual understanding,
these things will die out of their own accord. 0"ur South
ern boy will soon see that the course he is now pursuing
injures himself more than anybody else, and deters many
a well-meaning and energetic Northern boy from settling
as his neighbor, and making his naturally attractive side
of the school-grounds the most charming place in the
world. Some of the boys who already represent you there
are not angels by any means, and have aggravated the
Southerner's sense of wrong by trying to get the best of
him, and squeezing more almighty dollars out of him
than they can out of the rest of you, since you are a match
for each other on your own grounds— that fondly wor-
sliiped dollar before which you all bow."

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

22

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

The boys did not quite relish these remarks. If Miss Co
lumbia had taken handfuls of their golden idol, and thrown
it at them and hit them in the face ever so hard, they would
have scramljled for it eagerly. But to be thus insulted
gratuitously with the shadow and not the substance made
them wince uneasily. Miss Columbia here resumed : " You
have all got to live together ; so let these constant bickerings
cease. I love our little Southern scholar just as dearly as I do
any of the rest of you, and have his interests and his advance
ment jiist as much at heart, and I long to see harmony re
stored between you brothers, for he is your own brother,
though he has sinned in the past. How does a wise mother
act toward an erring son? After administering what
she considers a proper punishment, does she keep on prob-

"^^^^

"Bind up his wounds.'

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

23

ing his wounds by constant reminders of his past faults?
No! justice once rendered, she makes haste to heal
the scar by all the soothing arts she knows of, and
finds the lesson none the less salutary on that account.
Now boys will be boys, whether in scliool or at horae,
and why will not the same principles work here, if you only
try to carry them out ? You were the victors ; therefore it
becomes you to be
magnanirnous, and
so let us bury the
hatchet. " Other boys, too,
feel that it is well to
hold out the olive-
branch sometimes;
for instance, see
your cousin Johnny
Bull, who has taken
the initiative, and
come all the way
across the water to
settle the dispute
between you, in the
most manly and
straightforward
manner — an act
which redounds to his infinite credit and honor. He does

The High Joints

Commission.

24 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBIilC SCHOOL;
not feel that his dignity is compromised in the smallest de
gree, nor would yours be by making similar overtures.
" Then, too, my dear boys, I fear that in hardening your
selves toward your Southern brother, and teaching your
selves to ignore his fraternal claims upon you, your own
characters have sadly deteriorated, your moral senses a,re
becoming blunted, your integrity, your honor and pride in
the school have given way before a selfish and eager
desire for the rapid advancement of individual interests.
Heretofore it has always been a credit to a boy to say
that he was brought up in my school ; but if these injurious
habits continue to gain upon you, it will soon be a disgrace.
Each boy must feel that all must sacrifice something for
the sake of the general good.
" I want to recall to your memory that fable of -iEsop's,
familiar to you all, where a man carries two bags, one be
fore him and one behind him. The one in front of him is '
marked, ' Other people's faults, ' and the one behind him
is 'his own' faults. Of course the one in front of him
is constantly before his eyes, but he never sees the one
behind. " Apply this to your case. Just mark the bag in front of
you ' South,' and the one behind you ' North,' and I want
you to take the time to examine more carefully the one
behind you than you have been in the habit of doing. It is
now time for recess. Go, then, and think the matter over
at your leisure, and as soon as you feel that you have made

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

25

some discoveries, and found out some of your own sins,
come to me for further advice."
The bell then rang and school adjourned, the boys separa
ting, and each following his own inclination. Some, giv
ing no heed to Miss Columbia's words, went to play, and
thought no more of the subject under discussion; others
went straight to their workshops, as they never lost a
minute or an opportunity of coining dollars, while a few
took their teacher's injunction to heart, and did really try
to ponder out the problem before them.
That night the Northem boy did not sleep as tra,nquilly
as usual, and when at length he fell into a troubled doze,
after tossing about uneasily for hours, he was visited by
dreams of evil omen.

Look out for the Locomotive !

26

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

He dreamed of St. Peter's at Eome, which, he thought,
instead of being a sacred edifice, was merely a large politi
cal machine in the form of a locomotive, and had as head
engineer an old man wearing a huge helmet-shaped hat,
on which was inscribed, " The infallible one." He had
always thought that institution belonged to Dame Europa's
school, but there he saw that many of the tracks had been

¦-^fes^

Disuniting Church and State.

torn up, and the huge machine did not run smoothly any
more ; and what was his horror and consternation at seeing
these replaced by many new tracks, just put down,'which
ran right through Miss Columbia's grounds and intersected
them in every direction ! Some of these tracks he remem-

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 27
bered having seen before, but what now astonished him
was the immense increase in their number, the firm and
secure manner in which they were riveted to the earth, and
the enormous extent of ground they covered. There were
miles and miles of them ; in fact, the country was grid-
ironed with them.

He wondered how the right to possess the ground had
ever been placed in the power of the vast machine. He
saw, employed upon the tracks, Pat, the Irish boy, who al
ways did that kind of work, but he now perceived that his
overseer appeared to be a Jesuit whom he had often noticed
prowling around the school of late, and he appeared to
draw his grants of land and his supplies of money from

28

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

THE CAT'S-PAW.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

29

a certain office which had a " Big Six " on the door, and
was situated in the largest and most important depot.
He recognized among the most prominent officials in this
depot the faces of many boys which were familiar to him
every day in school. The Jesuit seemed to be holding out
to them, in return for the money and the land, the promise
of the Irish boy's influence and voice in the school, that it
should always be in favor of these corrupt officials, and that
he would do his best to retain them in authority continually.
They had a large portion of the school under their influence
already, but nothing less than the whole of it would satis
fy their ambition. Then he dreamt that the infallible
engineer took entire charge of the school, and established

.v^";^^^^^"//'-

In Miss Columbia's chair.

30 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL-,
himself in Miss Columbia's chair. Turning in loathing
from such rule, he tries to find the Bible bequeathed to him
by his Puritan father, and search in its pages for comfort ;
but lo! the form of the infallible one seems to en
velop it with a pall of darkness; he cannot see the page

Burning the Bible.
before him ; in vain he struggles to retain his gi-asp of it,
but it has been wrenched from him ; it is gone 1
At this, he awoke and gave a sigh of relief as he thought
to himself that it was only a nightmare vision.
But the dream continued to haunt him, and it was with
a kind of terror and misgiving that he repaired to his seat
in the school-room at the usual time.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

33

'Twas but a dream.'

In opening the school Miss Columbia took up the Bible,
to read some selections, according to her invariable custom,
but as she turned its pages, a dark frown was visible on her
face, which, somehow, struck a chill to the heart of our
dreamer. She read on, however, without interruption ; but
when she had finished, she tumed toward the boys, as she
closed the book, and said :
" Some one has been tampering with my Bible again,
and left his dirty finger-marks upon it. This thing has
happened before, but I refrained from saying anything
about it, and now I don't want it to happen again, or I shall
speak plainer. I know well enough which of you boys it

32

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

tampering with the bible.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

33

is, and I fear that I have been too lenient and indulgent to
him hitherto, and that he thinks to take the very meanest
advantage of it, and is about to repay me with the basest
ingratitude. There are some of the privileges properly
belonging to you other boys, of which I have been obliged
to deprive you, simply because this troublesome boy
abused his liberties. But if none of you large boys,
whose business it is to right such things, will leave your
selfish pursuits for a short time to bring him to a sense of
his duties, I myself will take him in hand and give him
such a thrashing as will not only astonish this school, but
all the other schools in the universe," and Miss Columbia's
eyes flashed in a manner that showed that she meant to be
as good as her word. The work of the school then went
on as usual, but at recess our dreamer sought out Miss
Columbia, who was thoughtfully pacing up and down the
empty school-room, and told her his vision of the preced
ing night, and that, when she made the remarks about the

Flight of the Jesuit.

34

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

Bible, it seemed to confirm it, and made him fear that it
was prophetic.
Miss Columbia listened to him in silence, and when he
had told her all, she said :
"Come, my boy, let us walk around the play-ground
quietly. I have something to show you " — and they passed
out by a side door, so as not to attract the attention of the
other boys, or disturb their play — when Miss Columbia
suddenly exclaimed, "Ah, yes, there he is again. See him !"

The Foundation.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 35
as a black figure darted out slyly from among the boys, crept
stealthily round through an alley-way and disappeared.
Our dreamer, looking in the direction indicated by her
gaze, recognized the form of the Jesuit of his dream.
It seemed to give Miss Columbia no surprise, as she had
often come upon him in the same manner before. They
walked on until they came near the spot which the Jesuit
had just left, when Miss Columbia, examining the foun
dation of the building, said with a sigh, " Yes, yes ; I see he
has been at it again — and this is the thing that I wish to
call your attention to. Do you see that some of the foun
dation stones have been removed, and carried off"; only a
little at a time has disappeared, not enough to excite re
mark, but StiU by degrees enough has been taken away to
leave a wide gap, and if this thing is allowed to continue,
enough will soon be gone to make the building shaky and
insecure, and the whole edifice will eventually be under
mined. One of the largest pieces was carried off quite
recently, but it was done in such a bold and defiant manner
that it drew the attention of some of the larger boys, who,
without saying anything to me, got some planks and
beams from the platform erected for the meeting lately
held to indorse the Union, of the Itahan school, which may
fill up the gap temporarily. But we cannot go on bolster
ing up our school in this way. If we allow much more of
the foundation to be abstracted, the school must stop."
Our boy stood aghast ; he had not dared to own to him-

36

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

self before that this evil influence had become so active.
He had often been made to feel its power, but he had tried
to disguise the truth and deceive himself, by calling the
evil by another name.
Miss Columbia watches him closely, and tries to discover
what effect this revelation has upon him, but he gives no
outward sign as yet, and she says,
" Come, let us return to the school-room. I have some
thing else to show you there," and they retrace their
steps. Just as they are about to re-enter the school-room, they
both perceive the sly little Irish boy in the very act of
seizing the Bible and throwing it out of the window. At

" Put that Bible back 1"

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 37
the sight of this dastardly deed, the little spark of patriot
ism left in our Northern boy flames up ; he forgets his
money-making and his all-engrossing private affairs for a
few minutes ; his cold exterior melts away ; he loses his
marvelous powers of self-control ; he rushes at the Irish
boy, seizes him by the throat and cries out imperiously,
"Put that Bible back!"
The Irish boy cowers beneath the flashing eyes of his
school-fellow, replaces the book, and steals away, muttering
to himself, " I'U be even with you yet. My time is soon
coming," Miss Columbia nods approvingly at her companion, and
says, " "Well done ; I may have hopes of you yet." " Now,"
she continues, " I want you to come here and look at these
books, and see how they also have been tampered with.
You remember the nice arithmetic we used to have ; that
has been removed, and one put in its place by Slippery
Dick, and you know well enough how Ke keeps accounts.
We now have Book-keeping by, Jim, Jr., and Erie G-ould,
Geography and Surveying by the Boss, Widening and
Straightening by his partner Peter Bee, Practical Educa
tion by a man whose Sands of life have nearly run out,
Grammar by Teddy O'Flannigan (New York Alderman),
Gymnastics by Pokey Hall, Theology by Father O'Bigotry,
and so on through the whole list of studies.
" Now, you know books like these are not the kind of
material with which to educate the rising generation of this

88

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

a change of TEXT-BOOKS.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 39
school. You could not even maintain the standard of in
telligence at its present point, to say nothing of advancing
as you should. You cannot but already feel the baleful
influence of the powerful cliques and " rings " which have
been formed of late within the school ; they levy the most
unmerciful tolls upon you for every conceivable pretext,
and you know that they exert a most deadening influence
on many of your enterprising pursuits ; they have become so
arrogant and exacting that, in order to be permitted to carry
on your ordinary avocations, you are obliged to truckle to
them, which is the most degrading kind of slavery, as it
confuses your standard of right and wrong, and you lose
your self-respect. You grow so accustomed to seeing
virtue punished and vice rewarded that you will soon come
to regard it as the natural and proper order of things."
The boy listened with grave attention, and when Miss
Columbia ceased speaking, he said, " Yes, I see what you
mean now. I shall speak to the other boys, and see if we
can't decide on some plan to get us out of these ugly
snarls." Miss Columbia answered with a sigh, " You can try it ;
but now do you understand why I wished you to be rec
onciled to your Southern brother more than ever ? Do
you not see that while you two, the original pupils of my
school, are contending with each other, those who have
only come among us lately will usurp all your rights, and.

40

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

" You^i better leave. There's not room for both.'

in fact, it will only be the story of the camel over again,
and you know such a monopoly as that would be intoler
able to both of you. Have you held out your hand to him
yet?" The boy here looked abashed, and said, " No, I have not ;
he has done things quite recently that fairly make my blood
boil I"
Here the boys came into school again and took their
seats, and lessons went on as usual. When the school was
dismissed, and while the boys were still lingering about

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 41
the play-ground, our Northem boy went up to the Irish
boy and said to him :
" Ain't you going to apologize to Miss Columbia for
what you did to-day ? Don't you know this is her school,
and that you owe it to her to do so ?"
" Apologize to a heretic is it ?" inquired the Irish boy,
with a sneer.
" Why not ? It is through her that you enjoy all your
privileges, and she has always been too kind to you. Were
you not warmed at her hearth-stone ?"
" Let her go to blazes. And I'll be
after breaking your mug, too, some of
these nights ; it's only a matter of time.
And then, when I've thrashed you, I'll
put a head on these same smart Yan
kees who are now making a tool of me
'^ because of my strength. I know what
The Ribbonman. I'm about, and ain't such a big fool as
they think. Sure, this is our promised land, and we're
bound to have it, and if you don't like it, sure you can lave it.
You haven't had any time to take care of it yourself, so
I'll do it for you. The Pope himself is going to sit in Miss
Columbia's chair, and she can be afther looking for an
other place."
The Northern boy, dismayed and disgusted, turned
away, and, as he walked on, he encountered another Irish
boy who wore a yellow ribbon. Knowing that there is

r.<j

42

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

the deepest antagonism between him and the boy he had
just left, he appealed to him, and asked him if he would
be on his side in case of a row with the other one. He
received a sympathetic answer, but he was reminded
by the boy with the yellow ribbon that he, too, had a
bone to pick with him. "You remember," said he, "one
day not very long ago, when that
boy over there and his comrades, set
upon us like a pack of wolves, while
we were harmlessly and decorously
enjoying ourselves on a certain holi
day of ours ? You call this a school
of freedom for all, and yet they
slaughtered us right and left, and you
never dared lift a hand or say a word against it. We
ourselves paid them back in their own coin, and de
fended ourselves as well as we were able. Then they
threatened us that we dared not march through the
grounds again ; they would not allow it ; they would
stand ready at every turn with shillalahs and firearms
and kill us and stone us as we went.
"But not being made of cowardly stuff, we intended to
celebrate our next holiday as usual, when you came
whining to us not to break the peace.
" We weren't going to break the peace ; we were simply
going to have the same rights and privileges as the rest

The Orangeman.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

43

of the boys, especially he, who blockades the whole school-
ground on his holiday, and woe to him who dares cross
his path. Me may do all this with impunity and you

' Clear the streets."

never raise your voice against him. Indeed, you are so
overawed by this gigantic bully that a day will soon come
when you will even be afraid to cross the grounds with
your own flag. You ought to have protected me on my
holiday, and' if you couldn't have done it yourself, you
should ^have appealed to Miss Columbia to call out the
army and navy hoys to do it. It is high time for you
to show that the rest of the boys have rights which even
the Irish Catholic boy is bound to respect in this school
of liberty and equality. But, my boy, when the crisis
comes, and you get your eyes wide open and see things as

44

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

they are, and call them by their right names, I'm your
man and there's my hand on it," and the warm-hearted
Irish boy grasped him heartily by the hand.
Our boy, a little comforted, walked on to the group of
Tammany boys, who were standing together laughing and
talking. The spot where they stood was noticeable for
its brilliancy, owing to the glitter and flash of the enor
mous diamonds which they all wore. Some were as big
as your fist, others as big as your head, and some of the
boys seemed to be completely encrusted with them. As he
approached them they looked at him defiantly, and when
he broached his subject to them, they received his re
marks with shouts of derisive laughter, and said, " Well,

" What are you going to do about it ?
what are you going to do about it?" whereupon one of

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 45
them stepped up to him and slipped a couple of dollars
into his hand, saying, " There, there, shut up and be off."
But he dropped their filthy money as if he had been
stung, whereat one of them cried out, "Oh, give him
some more 1 That ain't his price."
Another boy, who was standing near by eating an
orange, rushed up and seized the money and pocketed it
in the boldest manner. At this the Tammany boys all
chuckled triumphantly, and exclaimed :
" That's a cheap orange ; now what's your price ?"
He made no reply, but walked back, with a sickening
sense of humiliation and defeat, as he began to reaHze
how exultant and secure this " ring " of Tammany boys
had grown to be. One thing he vowed inwardly — that
none of them should ever be head boy in school, if they
tried ever so hard.
Now he heard the noise of several trumpets, sounded by
various boys around the grounds, and the Tammany boys
seemed to be greatly discomfited and annoyed thereby.
The tunes seemed obnoxious to them, and they were so
loud. Their ringleader suggested throwing the trumpet
ers some pennies, and the others hastened to carry out
this direction, which appeared to have the desired effect
upon some of them instantly, as they immediately changed
the tune and played very softly ; but others were proof
against such allurements, and continued to play the
same tune just as loudly and boldly aa before, and the

46

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

Tammany boys tried to resume their customary com
posure and effrontery in spite of them.
Our boy had not the heart to discuss his subject further,
so he went sadly to his own room.

Tax.

During his absence he found that another layer of tacks
had been laid on all his fumiture. Everything had been
crowded with tacks pretty thickly before, here and in
school, and also on the grounds ; but these last were larger
and more objectionable than any heretofore, which de
prived him of all comfort, and made his burdens well-nigh
intolerable. He knew well enough that this last aggravation was
the work of the Tammany boys, and that it was upon the
proceeds of this that they depended for their big diamonds
and other luxuries, including the favor and benediction of
the Roman Catholic Church — a stupendously expensive

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER

47

luxury, but one that always insured them the good- will of
the Irish boy, on whom they relied to reinstate them in
power every term. And the Irish boy's strength had never
failed to retain the best places for his own chosen.
The room grows dark, and our boy begins to feel a little
drowsy, when his attention is aroused by a gentle tapping
at his door, which he opens, and beholds the burly form of
Hans, his German friend and comrade, and, moreover, one
of the quietest, steadiest, and most orderly boys in school.

a friend in need, and a friend, indeed !

" Good evening, Hans ; come in and sit down. I'm
real glad to see you, by Jove I Your the very fellow to
help us now."
As Hans came in and seated himself, our boy was aston
ished a.t his physique, and thought that he must be more

48 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL,
powerful than the Irish boy, as he seemed to have grown
so much of late.
" Well, Hans," he said, " I congratulate you upon the
splendid conquest that your head boy, William, has gained
for himself in Dame Europa's school. He has my best
wishes, and I am sure he deserves them."

The fight in Dame Europa's School.
" Yes," said Hans, " every boy in school says the same
thing to me, except that discontented, envious Irish boy,
who always cries, ' Hurrah for the French I' "
" So you dislike him, too, do you ? "
" Yes, I do that," said Hans emphatically. " I can't sub
mit to Irish rule and love him. Don't you think that I
know the power he has been gaining for himself so stealthi
ly in Miss Columbia's school ? "
" Well, then, Hans, why don't you come and help me
keep him in his place ? You are always so mum
in all school matters that it is hard to tell which side
you are on. You avail yourself of all our privileges,
but keep perfect silence, and appear to take no in
terest in what is passing. If you had joined your voice

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

49

to mine before, this evil could never have grown so threat
ening." " Ah ! yes, that is all very nice, but why don't you go to
him for help if you want any ? You show him partiality in
everything else. Why is it that, when any Irish boy who
has been in this school goes over to Dame Europa's, and
kicks up a row with Johnny Bull, and gets arrested, as he
deserves, for his misconduct, there are always plenty of
Miss Columbia's boys ready to get up in school and make

Unbottl'ed.

buncombe speeches about ' the American incarcerated in
Johnny Bull's Bastile.' Then, when Johnny Bull sees how
dearly he is beloved here, he sends him back again,
and all parties run to meet him, and receive him with

60

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

the welcome TO NEW CORK.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

51

honors, and shake his hands. It is just a big bid for his
voice next term, and you know it, but you never got his
support yet, and you never will.
" Why is it that when some of my brothers, who had
joined the school here, went over to Dame Europa's school
on a visit, and were made to join the army boys there
against their will, and applied to this school for protection,
there was not a single voice heard here on their behalf?
I waited and waited to hear some response, but in vain."
His listener answered with a groan : " Yes, that is too
true, Hans."
" Then, again," resumed Hans, " see how my privileges
are curtailed — for no offense of my own, either. I come
here, and conform to all the rules of the school. I
bring the same social habits that I have always been al
lowed in Dame Europa's school, where the rules are much
more strict than here. I am allowed, for awhile, to retain
the same rights that I have been accustomed to at home.

Quiet enjoyment.

52

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

One of them is, after I have faithfully done my week's hard
work, to sit in my garden on Sunday, smoke my pipe, sip
my glass of lager, and enjoy the music. I do this in the
company of my parents and my brothers and sisters. It is
a harmless and innocent enough amusement, and interferes
with no one.
" But the Irish boy opposite gulps down whisky by the
quart, gets raving drunk, murders somebody, and then
the cry is raised, Monday morning, ' The Dutch hoy must
give up his lager, because the Irish boy breaks the peace
on the Sabbath day.' Then your boys make another rule,
and I am deprived of my liberty, because the Irish boy
abuses his. Your own boys all use, their voices against me,
because they drink all they want during the week, and
even in school hours they whisper to one another, ' Come,
let's take a drink,' and then they slip ont, and go to the bar-

Nipping.

room round the coi-ner ; and you know that many a boy
gets so muddled over his book-keeping in the aftemoon
that he often sees double, and puts down noughts where

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 53
they don't belong. Then he stalks solemnly to church,
with a sanctimonious face, on Sunday, looking too good
ever to taste a drop of hquor, or soil a floor with tobacco-
juice, and passes us, contemptuously exclaiming : ' Oh I

" Oh ! those infidel Dutch boys ! "
those infidel Dutch boys.' The white-headed boy who
makes the greatest outcry against my Sunday, the one who
has the loudest trumpet, exclaims through it that we
Dutch boys love our lager better than we do Miss Colum
bia or her school ; but I believe he would rather see the
whole school go to smash than let us drink lager on Sun
day. If that is his allegiance to Miss Columbia, it don't
amount to much. You appeal to me to side with you, but
are you fair to me ? Then, again, justice is a mere farce
in this section. What chance has a decent boy to get
his rights here? Your Tammany bench has grown so rot
ten and so foully decayed that a decent boy can't sit on
it any more, and yet you go on grinding out your dollars,
and paying no more attention to it than if it was a matter
of no moment to you."

64 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;
" Well, as to money-making, friend Hans, I don't see but
what we row in the same boat."
Hans here winked knowingly, and replied : " Yes, that
is all right — but we don't sell body and soul to an impe
rial ring and call it smartness. Now, how can we give
you the weight of our voice in school matters unless we
are assured of enjoying our national privilege ? We have
given you ample proof that we will not misuse it, as you
must have seen already."
The Northern boy chafed somewhat impatiently under
Hans' lengthy harangue, but still was glad to have heard
him speak his mind so freely.
Hans now, having reheved his mind, rose to depart,
when the boys shook hands heartily, and both felt that
they should understand each other better in future.
Our boy flings himself upon his bed, and falls asleep,
and again the contending feelings in his mind cause him
uneasy dreams.
He dreams of Saint Bartholomew's massacre — that, as
history repeats itself, so he was on the point of witnessing
a repetition of that horrible slaughter. He thought the
scene was the school, and that the actors in it were the
Greeks whose faces he was so familiar with every day.
At flrst, all was panic, confusion, and precipitate flight,
but Miss Columbia, quickly recovering her self-possession,
sounded the alarm, and gave him the signal to advance.
He stepped forward, and fhe boys all rallied around him

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 65
rapidly. At his right hand was his Southern brother.

Their eyes met, their hands clasped in an iron grip, and
the Puritan and the Huguenot forgot their mutual griev
ances, and were strong brothers in arms, as of old, against
one common enemy.
Both seized the dear old flag, and waving it proudly
aloft, each pledged himself to be forever faithful to it.
There was Hans ; there was the Irish Orange boy and
many liberal Catholics ; there was the Jew ; there were the
Protestants of all nationalities ; there were all the heretics
and infidels, and even the heathen Chinee, on his side.
Then the Tammany boys, thinking these would probably

56

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

be victorious, wished to join them also, but the others
pushed them off indignantly, and cried out, " Go fight with

" This is not your forte.''
your own chosen scum ; we want no more traitors in our
camp." Then ensued a fearful struggle, but it was short and de
cisive. The boys fought hke lions for the liberty which
they were determined not to resign, and the pent-up wrath

Victory.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

57

THE SURRENDER OF THE HESSIANS.

68

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

of years burst forth with a fury which astonished them
selves. Then, when the struggle was over, and the victors
had quietly settled back to their old pursuits (with this
difference, that Puritan and Huguenot pursue their studies
seated affectionately side by side), Dame Europa sends to
congratulate Miss Columbia on having rid herself of the
danger which menaced her, and says that she has a sugges
tion to make.

The compact.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

59

She proposes to give up the Isle of Erin to the exclusive
use of the Greeks, upon which they may establish a Repub
lic founded on their own ideas of perfect freedom and lib
erty, she never having been able to satisfy their demands
in that respect, and Miss Columbia's school, also, having
fallen far short of their ideal. She proposes to collect them

Universal Thanksgiving Day.

all from the four quarters of the globe, where, she has no
doubt, they will be most willingly given up, and to have them
all transported to the Isle of Erin ; fumish them with all their
demands, arms, ammunition, rum, whisky, etc.; but no
vessels of any kind are to .be allowed, as she wishes none to

60

MISS COLUMBLA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

Jtc

Ireland blockaded.

leave the island, which is to be
guarded by a large fleet, in order to
secure to the inhabitants the uninter
rupted enjoyment of peace and happi
ness, which will reign supreme.
This treaty was signed by Dame Europa and Mise Colum
bia, and carried out with scrupulous fidelity.
Ten years seemed to elapse, and everything appeared to
be very quiet and peaceful on the Isle of Erin, when the
signers of the treaty became exceedingly curious to ascer
tain the result of their experiment, and determined to visit
it. They approached the coast with great caution, so as
not to disturb any innocent enjoyment, but not a sound
broke the stillness ; it was peace itself.
Not a creature is in sight. They come nearer ; they land ;
everything seems to be growing most luxuriantly, but
where are the Greeks ?

Where are the Greeks?

They then scoured the island, but could not find a soul.
Dame Europa and Miss Columbia went in different direc-

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

61

tions, and finally met at the starting-point, but found not a
living thing, and bo.th exclaimed in a chorus of thanksgiv-

Peace at last.

ing, " Thank Heaven ! they have had their liberty, and now
they rest in peace !"
He awoke feeling as if a great weight had been lifted
from him, but after all it was only a dream, and he had the
full measure of his difficulties still to contend against.

62

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

Pleasant dreams.

After school was over that day, our Northem boy en
countered the Orange boy on the grounds, who, stepping up
to him, inquires if he remem.bers that the time is rapidly
approaching for his annual celebration, and whether he
thinks that Pat, the Hibernian, really means to put into
execution the threats he has pronounced against him.
Our boy replied that he did not apprehend any trouble at
all, and that he saw no reason why he should not celebrate
his particular holiday as well as any other sect or nation
ality, who are all allowed the privilege.
"As long," he continued, "as there is no rule against
such demonstrations, your claim to avail yourself of the same
rights as others cannot be disputed, although, I must say, for
my own part, I would much rather see you all more Ameri
can in feeling, and leave your foreign celebrations on the
other side of the water."
"We are not really so much interested in celebrating the
anniversary," replied the Orange boy, " were it not for the

OR WILL IT BLOW OVER?

63

Getting ready for the Twelfth.

brutal treatment we received last year, the threats that
have been constantly uttered against us since, and the prin
ciple of right and wrong that is involved. Am I alone' to
be singled out for exclusion from your republican liberty
and freedom for no fault of my own whatever ?"
" Certainly not," said our boy ; and here they parted,
and he thought no more of the subject.
As the time approached, however, for the Orange cele-
bc&tion, the air grew dark with threatening rumors.
Pat, the Hibernian, seemed to be working himself up to

S4 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;
a high pitch of excitement about the matter, even to tear
ing off orange-colored ribbons from the persons of those en
tirely uninterested in his quarrels, although he saw fit to
flaunt his own " wearing of the green " before every eye,
whether offensive or not. Whether he was egged on by his
Jesuitical advisers, to whom obedience was, with him, a duty
of much greater consequence than loyalty to Miss Colum
bia, or whether his fiery imagination was inflamed by the
exciting tunes that were played by his own special trumpet-

/??/J«

The Irish Blower.

ers, did not appear openly, but many conjectures were
started as to whether his opposition had a leader.
His feelings soon found expression in a meeting held by the

OE, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

65

^/.^\!^^J_^

The Hibernian meeting.

Hibernians, who gave waming of the most bloodthirsty
intentions if the Orange celebration was allowed to take
place, and, moreover, of the withdrawal of their voice from
the party which they had hitherto supported.
The Jesuits pubhcly desired their flocks to desist from
violence if, as they said, " this insulting demonstration is
persisted in," which must have appeared to Pat something
like setting two dogs to fight each other, and then pulling
one gently back by the tail.
Then, on the morning before the day of the celebration,
the head boy of the Tammany section, Oakey Pokey, posted
up a proclamation prohibiting the Orange procession.

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

' DON'T.'

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

67

«F 1.0LI0E I
".».j»ir,io'n7/l
(JE^JER^L ORDER |

Bill Poster.

When the boys saw this posted around, their indignation
was very great. Miss Columbia appeared to share this feel
ing with them, but controlled herself and said nothing, as it
was from the boys themselves that a movement must come.
While these angry emotions were in fall force, a procla
mation was issued by the boy in charge of the adjoining
section, giving the Orange boy full liberty to parade, and
promising him protection to the fullest extent of his power.
This decision our loyal boys applauded so loudly that the
Tammany boys began to see that they had made a mis
take, and to fear that the tide of public feeling was tum
ing so strongly against them, that, in the contest approach
ing, their own dazzling careers would be brought to an un
timely end.
They seem to have been used to considering this section

68 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;
their own and Pat's for so long, to rule just as they liked,
that they believed there was really no end to the endu
rance of the honest boys.
They had hitherto calculated on their own irresistible
strength, with their fingers always pilfering the public
treasury, and with the giant force of the Irish boy to back
them. They did not think this last bold stroke of theirs
would be the spark to light the long dormant fire of
American patriotism.
American patience and toleration is long-suffering indeed,
but a turning-point comes at last. This was not like fight
ing among brothers, as was the case in that great uprising
ten years before. This was an Irish invasion, led by a few

The Invasion, led by American Traitors.
corrupt American traitors and demagogues. This was
crushing the serpent, warmed at the hearthstone, who
tums and stings its benefactor. This was the most bigoted
member of one sect interfering with the rights of the State
and setting its rules at defiance.
These sentiments were freely expressed all over the
school, and the most intense indignation and contempt was
manifested for the cowards who thought fit to surrender so

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 69
basely to the mob, no matter how strong it might be. The
leaders of the Tammany section were denounced in the
strongest terms, even by those who had hitherto followed
their lead bhndly.

startled.

Then, at the eleventh hour, the Tammany boys sent for
Johnny T., one of their members, whose connection with
them, they thought, threw a halo of respectability over the
whole gang. He, innocent that he was, " was only that
moment apprised of the actual state of affairs," and had
never dreamed of such a thing as mischief brewing, es
pecially among his own constituents I
He was enhghtened, however, in words so urgent, that ho
felt that further vacillation would not answer, so he rapidly
betook himself to the threatened scene of violence, issued
a counter-proclamation, when it was too late for more
than a handful of Orange boys to assemble, allowing them

70

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

Halfman and Staff.

the right to parade, calling at the same time upon the
members of the police and militia to keep the peace, thus
making the fact plain enough that the Tammany leaders
themselves were trembling before their own chosen.

' Who's Boss ?"

The pliant tools, whose ignorance andcredulity they had
tumed to such profitable account for so long, were at length
becoming too sharp for them.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 71
All that night, active preparations went on among the
police and the militia boys ; they were determined that,
let the morrow bring what it might, it should find them
ready. Among them there was perfect unanimity. All
seemed to feel that the time had now come to assert them
selves, and end this degrading servihty to a lawless mob
and its dishonest leaders.
The eventful day came, and it was noticed that most of
the Tammany boys made tliemselves very scarce, doubt
less waiting for the whole thing to " blow over." Many of
them left that section, deeming it best for their personal
safety; and those that remained, with happy instinct,
sought shelter at police headquarters.
The mihtia tumed out at the appoiMed hour, and many
of them, as they passed by the great commander-in-chief,
Johnny T., inw,ardly cursed him in their hearts for the
bloody work they now had to perform ; for it was through
him and his colleagues that the Irish mob had grown so
strong and defiant; and now that their daring was about
to assume a violent form, he coolly appealed to the mihtia
and police for protection.
The handful of Orange boys who had been notified in
time that the parade was to be allowed now formed, and
the police and militia formed around them. The proces
sion now began to move — ^they marched to the tune of the
" Star-Spangled Banner." They did not even attempt to
play the so-caUed insulting, air of " Croppies, lie down,"

72

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

which every Irish Catholic boy considers sufficient provoca
tion for raising a row ; but perhaps this national American
air was equally offensive and heretical, for, as it was, the
fast-increasing mob commenced the assault. Threatening
menaces were heard from them, some exclaiming, " Ah !
see the British soldiers ! " as if that were the most stinging
taunt. Then a perfect storm of missiles assailed them, and
shots were fired from every direction. Some of our boys
fell, and then our brave militia returned the fire, and many
a Croppie lay down never to rise again.

' Croppies, lie down."

The mob began to see that the militia was really m
earnest, and that blank cartridges were not the order of
the day this time.
This startling revelation acted upon them like magic,
and the procession was allowed to go on its way with no
further disorder among the mob than the police themselves
were able to deal with, which they did with a courage and

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

73

THE LATE UNPLEASANTNESS. (Twelfth of July.)

74

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

bravery that made the whole school resound with their
praise. The procession reached its destination, and was quietly
dismissed, and that section of the school heVer spent a more
peaceful night than the one which gave place to this tur
bulent day.
Next morning, when the school was assembled. Miss Co
lumbia expressed her approbation in the warmest terms of
the prompt manner in which the Irish mob had been dealt
with, and of the short time in which order had been re
stored, in spi^e of the usurpers' strength. Now the odium
of public opinion began to fall with crushing weight upon
the Tammany leaders. The Eleventh-Hour Johnny T., as

Between two fires.

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER'i

75

he was now called, found himself between two fires ; he was
condemned by both parties. The loyal boys were indig
nant at his dalliance with so great an evil, and his own
supporters were enraged at his daring to try to preserve the
peace against their will, and he caught it all round, as
miserable pretenders generally do at last.

As to Oakey Po
key, he was lauded
to the skies by the
low mob, and- the
"Know-Nothing"
of old times now be
came a great Irish
patriot ! What next ?
The Irish boys
now held many in
dignation meetings,
protesting agains|t
Johnny T. Halfman,
calling him a Dutch
butcher, and vowed
that when they

Up like a rocket.

Down like tlie stick.

76 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;
pledged themselves to give him their support, they were
assured that everything obnoxious to them should be
abolished, and that his recent conduct was a violation of
his trust, and that he ought, consequently, to be swept out
of his place and power.
At some of these meetings they proposed to form them
selves into invincible organizations, so that they might
carry all before them with irresistible force next time they
saw fit to do so.
It became evident, however, that the time was hardly
ripe yet for further demonstration, from the quietness
of the Jesuits and from the subdued tunes which some
of the Catholic trumpets now played.

" Left blooming alone.'

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

77

Thus Croppie was left for awhile, in the midst of his
wild talk, withont any leadership ; the Tammany boys
were shy of him temporarily, and the Jesuit kept pru
dently in the background. The Tammany boys, although
their bravado seemed to have no limit hitherto, had been
shaking in their shoes ever since the riot; for, in addition to
the disgrace which that brought upon them, one of the

The Times (not) cut of joint.
boldest boys in the section had been exposing some of
their secret accounts, which pubhcly revealed the enor-

78

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

mous frauds which they had perpetrated for some time
past, and showed the honest boys but too plainly where
layer after layer of the gigantic tacks had come from,
which had aggravated them so sorely, and of late had
grown unendurable. The rumors of the meetings and the
threats of vengeance pronounced there reached Miss Co
lumbia, and one morning she thus addressed the school :
" Many of the boys have come to me since the outbreak
of the 12th of July, and besought me to use my influence •
to prevent this thing from becoming a religious dispute.

" Got enough ?"

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER? 79
Now, I ask you, who is it that insists upon making it so ?
Who is it that says that, ' while the State has rights, she
has them only in virtue and by permission of the superior
authority, which can only be expressed through the Church ?'
Who is it that denies the right of any one to the ballot
except in ' subordination to the Church ?' Who is it that
declares that the ' Cathohc, armed with his vote, is the
champion of law, order, faith and morality ? ' Who is it
that states that ' every Catholic is bound to acknowledge
himself, as a voting citizen, a passive instrument in the hands
of the Eoman hierarchy, and is bound ta.use his suffrage
power in such a way as may most speedily put the educa
tion of the whole people within the direct control of the
hierarchy, since to falter in meeting this demand is disloyalty
to God, because it is treason against the divine sovereignty
of the Church ? ' Who is it that says, ' Let the public
school go to the devil, where it came from ? ' Can we shut
our eyes to the meaning of such sentiments ? No 1 we
dare not ; we must rouse ourselves from our lethargy, we
must meet our antagonist Avith his own weapons, and he
must leam to keep his religion to himself, as the rest of us
do. We must look this evil in the face, and not call it by
any other name, or shirk it in any way. If they persist in
crying, 'Down with black Protestantism !' we must also in
scribe upon our banners, ' Anti-lrish.-Politdcal-^oma,n-
Catholic-Party.' " They give the weight of all their power as Catholics, and
we must counteract it as anti-Catholics. Look back into

80

MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL;

history. What has been the result in every country where
the Catholic Church has had complete sway ? Don't let us
have a repetition of that h^ere !
"We acknowledge that among liberal Catholics there are
many worthy and estimable ones, who never dream of
intruding their religion into state affairs, but who are able
to consider matters of govemment without reference to
Church. For such as those we have only feelings of fra-

OR, WILL IT BLOW OVER?

81

ternal fellowship, but for those turbulent bigots, who are
continually dragging their Church into national affairs,
there is no course left us but to compel them to conform to
our rules, or to go back where they came from. It is not
thei/r country, as they seem to think ; it belongs equally to
all of us. All are welcome, irrespective of creed, color, or
nationality, and all have equal rights.
" Now, boys," she continued, " argument will never con-

The uprising.

82 MISS COLUMBIA'S PUBLIC SCHOOL.
vince our would-be usurper ; and all that talkipg can do,
with regard to our difficulties, has been done. We must
have no more beating about the bush ; and the soonjer he
understands his relation to us and to our school, the better.
One thing is certain, the longer he puts it off, the
worse it will be. Then, boys, I say, rally round the flag ;
be fearless, just, aJd upright, and, above all, be united, and
you are sure of victory !"
And the air was rent with cheer upon cheer, i and the en
thusiasm was so prolonged and hearty, that Miss Columbia
felt assured that " the American idea would nefo&r have to
eive way to the Catholic idea."

The result.
" KENDEE UNTO C^SAE THE THINGS THAT
AEE C^SAE'S, AND TO GOD THE THINGS
THAT AEE GOD'S."— Maek 12 : 17.

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